2d4chan - User contributions [en]

Approved Anime

2018-08-01T17:54:19Z

2602:304:B26C:4D20:D33:379:A331:646F: /* Action */

This is a list of [[/tg/]] '''approved [[anime]]''', organized loosely into genres. For /tg/-approved manga, [[manga|go here]].

== Before you add anything...'''READ THIS''' ==

''/tg/ likes its anime, but if we listed every single one that could be interpreted as being /tg/-related this article would be large enough to be its own wiki. So before you add in a new title, ask yourself these questions:''

* Is it a licensed material from a traditional game? (If yes, add it right now, no questions asked. And homebrews don't count- it has to be a real, established game.)

* Does it feature traditional gaming? (If it's an important part of the show, add it.)

* Is it fantasy or sci-fi? (We have a huge boner for that, but explain how it's relevant first.)

* Does it cater to our demographic? Fa/tg/uys tend to be males in their 20s. (Again, see if it fits the other criteria well enough.)

* Does /tg/ talk about it a lot, or does it have some historical relevance to /tg/? (Like the one directly above, it's not enough on its own, but it might get a pass if it fits more criteria.)

* Is this just /a/'s flavor of the month bleeding over into /tg/? (NO. Your addition will likely be reverted, so don't bother. As a general rule wait a few months after it shows up.)

* is it yugioh? (if so get out.)

Add important details (e.g. tv series or OVA, number of episodes or movies) in brackets. Furthermore, follow the formatting in general, we beg you. Also keep in mind that Anime gets adapted from Manga far more often then cartoons in the west get adapted from comics, so you can also loosely treat this as a list of TG Approved Manga.

== Action ==
*'''''[[Fist of the North Star]]''''': The singular manliest show ever made. Slap together Mad Max and a ruthless, hyper-violent Bruce Lee, and that should help explain how this show became the legend it is today. ['''READ THE MANGA'''][TV series: 152 episodes + 1 movie, OVA series: 3 episodes, Spin-Off series: 12 episodes + 4 OVAs]

:Related games: ''Street Fighter: The Storytelling Game'', playing a [[monk]] in [[D&D]], [[Dark Sun]]

*'''''[[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure]]''''': The singular manliest, and most FABULOUS! show ever made. Unreasonably beautiful men with weird and convoluted superpowers hunt vampires. Hop in the car, loser, we're going posing. ['''READ THE MANGA'''][OVA series: 13 episodes + 1 movie, TV series: 74 episodes and counting]

:Related games: [[Mutants and Masterminds]], [[FATE]], low-level [[Exalted]], [[The Ballad of Edgardo]]

*'''''Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann''''': <span style='color:green'>The singular [[Ork]]iest show ever made.</span> Starts out with human rebels on stolen mech fighting bio-engineered beastmen, gets progressively more and more out of hand. Exceedingly, gloriously out of hand. Fairly philosophical below the pumped up appearance. Steve Blum also voices a queer guy, no joke. Notable for the fact that by the final episode the main characters achieve Enuff [[Dakka]] by shooting at an enemy from EVERY POINT IN SPACE AND ACROSS TIME. [TV series: 27 episodes + 2 movies + 15 shorts + 1 sexy ass music-video]

:Related games: [[Mekton]], [[Toon]]

*'''''Hunter x Hunter''''': Two shota boys fighting dudes. In all seriousness, there are four major characters introduced in the series: Gon the country raised kid who wants to find his awesome dad (shota #1), Killua the young assassin raised in an assassin family who wants to befriend Gon just to escape his assassin duty (shota #2), Kurta the last of its clan of [[psyker|special humans]] that seeks vengeance against a group of super-strong psychopathic bandits, and Leorio who's the weakest of the group but wields THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP (and still ends up doing awesome things later in the show). ''HxH'' builds worlds like ''One Piece'', which is a huge commendation. It also created somewhat balanced and unique [[stat|power level system]] called "nen", a downright rare accomplishment in a genre of [[meme|OVER 9000]] nonsense. [TV series: 62 episodes + 30 OVAs; Reboot: 148 episodes + 2 movies]

:Related games: [[FATE]], [[Exalted]], [[Quest thread|quests, quests, quests]]

*'''''Dragon Ball & Dragon Ball Z''''': Not initially thought to be /tg/ related, /tg/ is now getting shit done and writing an RPG in a similar fashion to how Adeptus Evangelion suddenly appeared. (There's also the cash-in RPG, if that counts.) They both share an entry since they're essentially just part 1 and 2 of the same story. Goes from fantasy adventure to science fiction aliens and space gods. ['''READ THE MANGA'''] [Original TV series: 153 episodes + 3 movies, Z/GT/Super series: 397 episodes + 4 specials + 2 OVAs + 16 movies]

:Related games: [[Legends of the Wulin]], [[Exalted]], [[Dragon Ball PNP RPG|Dragon Ball Z: The Anime Adventure Game]]

*'''''Legend of the Galactic Heroes''''': Space Prussia fights Space France/America in one of the longest running debates on the relative merits of Dictatorship and Republicanism ever written. Aside from the 19th century army tactics IN SPACE, it is well regarded for the enormous amount of very well-written characters and an even-more-bloody disregard for the lives of said characters than GRRM. To sum it all up, grand and gruesome galactic battles rivaling 40K in scale, manly marines hacking others to bits, and Kaiser Reinhard who's like a combination of Napoleon and Alexander the Great. Also quite possibly the single most screencapped anime on /tg/, for it's wealth of brilliant monologues. Technology level is basically Traveller to a tee. [OVA series: '''162''' episodes + 3 movies]
:Related games: [[Traveller]], [[GURPS|GURPS Space]], Full Thrust, [[Battlefleet Gothic]]

*'''''One Punch Man''''': The adventures of an in-universe [[Muscle Wizard]] superhero who can literally take down anything (ANY-FUCKING-THING) with a single, low-effort punch. [[Awesome|Except Boros, who took roughly six punches to kill, and still could give one final speech to Saitama after a Serious Punch]]. Naturally, he's bored shitless and only seeks a worthy fight. An instant classic despite its anaemic twelve episodes thanks to it's sense of humour, surprisingly smart character and genre writing and utterly off-the-fucking-wall levels of batshit insane action, some of which gives even [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|JoJo]] and Gurren Lagann a run for their money. Also a great lesson in writing an OP character without sacrificing fun. [TV Series: 12 episodes and counting + 6 OVAs and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atxYe-nOa9w| one fucking badass opening theme]]

:Related games: Playing a level 20 character in D&D (especially a monk), most superhero RPGs.

*'''''Samurai Champloo''''': A show about two samurai with completely differing fighting styles being forced together along with a token female to fight for their personal goals. Combines crazy fight sequences with a <i>very</i> [[Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader|80's]]-style feel, along with quite a few moments of both [[Noblebright|slapstick]] and [[Grimdark|gallows]] humor. [TV series: 26 episodes]

:Related games: [[L5R]], Derailed [[D&D]] quests, [[Matt Ward|allying]] [[Necrons]], [[Blood Angels]], and [[Tau]] in a game of Warhammer

*'''''Youjo Senki - Saga of Tanya the Evil''''' ''(My Little Nazi)'': Strike Witches if it was actually about war instead of lesbians. A high functioning sociopath salary-man is murdered by one of his disgruntled former employees and gets reincarnated into alt-fantasy 1910s Germany as the smuggest of [[Loli|lolis]]. Follows the general rhythms of the 21st-century-wargame-nerd-gets-transported-back-in-time genre, with the twist that God is actively fucking with Tanya to ruin all her carefully-planned attempts to escape the war and lead a cushy rear echelon life. While the premise may sound silly, the military action and writing are good enough to make it work. Tanya is more likable by miles than the stuffed-shirt protagonists of [[Isekai|similar shows]], despite a level of sociopathy that should make her the automatic villain. This makes her a wonderful inspiration for anyone who wants to play a Lawful Evil character with a personality beyond "rule the world with an iron fist." [TV series: 12 episodes]

:Related games: [[Magical Burst]], [[GURPS]] Infinite Worlds, [[Only War]]

*'''Blood Blockade Battlefront''': A portal to another dimension opens in the middle of New York, transforming it in a combination of the two worlds. The city is renamed Hellsalem's Lot and become inhabited by both humans and the so called beyonders. The series follow the members of Lybra, a clandestine organization made of people with special abilities that protect the city, and contains his lunacy from affecting the rest of the world. Special mention to Lybra's leader, Klaus Von Reinherz, a guy with looks and the strength of an ogre, the demeanor of a true gentlemen, and attacks with [[awesome| giant crosses of destruction made with his own blood and created through manly punches]]. As an added /tg/ bonus, one episode revolves around a boardgame called Prosfair, which is basically what you would get if [[Tzeentch]] decided to write homebrew rules for [[Chess]]. [TV series: 12 episodes + 1 OVA]
**'''Blood Blockade Battlefront & Beyond''': Sequel continuing the story. [TV series: 12 episodes]

:Related games: [[Esoterrorists]], [[World of Darkness]], [[Chess]]

== Comedy ==
*'''''Haiyore! Nyaruko-san''''': 2009 flash animations, [http://www.crunchyroll.com/nyarko-san-another-crawling-chaos still on crunchyroll.] [Web series: 21 shorts.]
**'''''Nyarko-san: Another Crawling Chaos''''': A 2012 anime, it's one of those wacky highschool comedy bits that Japan shits out every season, except starring [[H.P. Lovecraft|Nyarlathotep]]. Yes seriously. Pop culture references, [[/d/]]eviance, [[Sanity|SAN]] loss (complete with official-format [[Call of Cthulhu]] character sheets), and gratuitous rape of canon ensue. [[Butthurt|"She's an eldritch abomination, not your waifu!"]] [TV series: 24 episodes + 3 OVAs]

:Related games: [[Call of Cthulhu]] (barely), [[Maid RPG]]

*'''''Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku o!''''' (''KonoSuba''): A 2016 parody of the overhyped "[[Isekai|trapped in another world]]" genre that achieved flavor-of-the-month status after the anime adaptation hit Crunchyroll. The main character dies and gets reincarnated into a generic fantasy world *yawn*, but he ends up with an incredibly un-[[Powergamer|optimized]] party of dumbasses. Starting with "the weakest" generic Adventurer class himself, he's joined by a brain-dead Priest who spent most of her skill points on party tricks, a Wizard who can only cast ''one'' spell per day because she absolutely refuses to learn any new spells, and a Fighter who's only good as a meat-shield, which suits her just fine as she's [[/d/|extremely masochistic]]. They're also joined by a [[wat|big-tittied lich]] who is actually competent but keeps getting nearly purged by the priest due to being undead. Not to mention their frustrating personalities (for each other, for us it's great). It resembles a group of new players stumbling though their first RPG campaign, run by an experienced GM who is laughing his ass off. [TV series: 20 episodes + 2 OVAs]

:Related games: [[World of Warcraft|MMORPGs]], [[Dungeon World]], [[Knights Of The Dinner Table]]

*'''''[[Life With Monstergirls|Everyday Life with Monster Girls]]''''': A 2015 anime that tickles the fancy of anyone who claims /tg/ can become /d/-lite-ful in the wee hours of a Saturday morning. [[Monstergirls]] everywhere, in glorious full-color animation. The manga this is based off of had a few brain cells and funny bones to rub together as well; expect to love or hate slaking your thirst for waifu herein. The manga is also a goldmine of reaction images. Be warned: this is an ecchi show, so the artist gets as close as he can to actual sex without the sex, thus stringing along the wallets of horny otaku without losing the support of high-profile publishers. [[Games Workshop|So you should be right at home.]] Also expect older /d/eviants to call you a faggot if you like this series thanks to its comparative tameness and the number of [[Tumblr|nonces]] who only discovered monstergirls when this series stripped out the [[/d/|"weird"]] and then get triggered by something like [[Mon Musu Quest!]] If you want to see actual boinking, the original author had some webcomics about monstergirls he made under the same name before the manga and anime; [[Weeaboo|weeaboos]] collectively call them '''Daily Life with Monster Girls''' to avoid confusion. [TV series: 12 episodes + 2 OVAs]

:Related games: [[Dungeons and Dragons]] PC race expansions, [[Mon Musu Quest!]] (barely), [[Maid RPG]], [[Quest thread|quests, quests, quests]]

== Horror, Grimdark, & Mindfuckery ==

*'''''Neon Genesis Evangelion''''': A philosophical character drama and Lovecraftian Horror Mindrape that pretends to be a mecha anime for its first half. Either one of the greatest (if not THE greatest) anime ever produced, or an overrated piece of tripe that collapsed under the weight of its own pretentiousness and awful budgeting, depending on who you ask; there is no middle ground. Inspiration for [[Adeptus Evangelion]], obviously. [TV series: 26 episodes + 2 movies, Reboot: 3 movies and counting]

:Related games: [[Adeptus Evangelion]], [[JAEVA Project]], [[CthulhuTech]]

*'''''Now and Then, Here and There''''': A young Japanese boy and American girl are transported through time and space to a dying world orbiting a dying star, and are forced to fight as a child soldier for evil men who rape and breed them, while the humans of the planet slowly fight themselves to extinction over water. Not for the faint of heart, or for anyone who thinks [[Warhammer 40k]] is as grimdark as humanly possible. This is true, hardcore grimdark. [TV series: 13 episodes]

:Related games: [[Dark Sun]] so very much, [[FATAL]], [[Gamma World]]

*'''''M.D. Geist''''': A psychotic super soldier is released on a post-apocalyptic abandoned colony to breach a former governmental compound and prevent the activation of an army of killer robots that are programed to exterminate all surviving humans on the planet. He blasts his way in, slaughtering the cybernetic defenders... then releases the army himself so he can fight forever, and if the rest of humanity is wiped out, who cares? [[Khorne]] approves! [1 OVA + 1 movie]

:Related games: [[Black Crusade]]

*'''''[[Hellsing]]''''': An action horror centering around the Hellsing organization: a secret agency who uses vampires to protect the British Crown from other supernatural forces. Alucard, a gun-toting vampire who is possibly one of the most powerful in all of fiction (basically he's fucking Dracula at full power and not stuck in a shitty old man body), and his new big-titted fledgling Seras are their main agents. Their enemies include rogue vampires, [[Ecclesiarchy|a homicidal <s>Scottish</s> Irish priest]] from the Catholic Church, and Millenium: a psychotic group of <s>neo-Nazis</s> Actual Nazis (1,000+ Waffen-SS volunteers to create the Letzte Bataillon) who want to take over Europe through [[wat|a battalion of artificially created Nazi Vampires.]] Mostly known for its Biblical references and imagery and abnormal amounts of blood spewing out of anything and anyone like a bunch of Fruit Gushers (though nowhere near as [[Grimderp]] as Devilman or Violence Jack.) Divided into two continuities; the original 13 episode TV series (which overtook the manga and so went in an entirely different direction, and has lackluster animation, but also deeper characters and a more even theme) and the "Ultimate" OVA series (totally faithful to the manga, but that also means it keeps pingponging between beautifully animated guro and cutesy-poo chibi "comedy" sections). [TV Series: 13 Episodes, OVA series: 10 Episodes]

:Related games: [[Dark Heresy]], maybe [[Achtung! Cthulhu]], [[Vampire: The Requiem]] + [[Hunter: The Vigil]] + [[Deviant: The Renegades]] (TV series only), some batshit insane fusion of [[Vampire: The Masquerade]] and [[Scion]] or [[Exalted]] (Ultimate)

*'''''Ergo Proxy''''': What if [[Cthulhu]] was in Ghost in the Shell? Starts out like as a fairly political investigation story set in a distopian city, evolves into one hell of a journey in the post-apocalyptic world outside filled with acid trips. Like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas with a story. [TV series: 23 episodes]

:Related games: [[Dark Heresy]], [[Shadowrun]], [[Dark Sun]], [[CthulhuTech]]

*'''''Boku Dake ga Inai Machi (ERASED):''''' Some nerd has the power to go back in time but only when a blue butterfly feels like it, and he uses this to solve murders and stop life threatening events. It's a lot like Butterfly Effect if it wasn't absolute pretentious crap. Also involves a lot of kids dying. [TV series: 12 episodes + 1 movie]

:Related games: one of the GUMSHOE games but with supernatural stuff toned down

*'''''Death Note''''': A random high schooler finds a book that lets him kill anyone whose name is written in it. What does he do with it? He tries to become a god by killing criminals. Only one dares to oppose him: the mysterious L. An exciting game of "He knows that I know that he knows," ensues. Originator of [[Just as planned]] thanks to an especially shitty translation. [TV Series: 37 episodes + 2 movies + 2 live-action movies + [[wikipedia:Manga Murder|one real-life murder case]]]

:Related games: [[Esoterrorists]], [[Kult]], [[Hunter: The Reckoning]], [[Delta Green]]

*'''''Puella Magi Madoka Magica''''': A middle school girl gets approached by a magical girl mascot animal with an offer to join a secret war between the grotesque witches and the magical girls that fight to curb their destructive influence. Naturally, it's a trap. Also the music is great (while the composer has been known to use Kajiuran (a gibberish language she made that sounds nice), quite a few people have manged to translate and even make covers in other language for some of the music, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu98k5vVP-Y German] sounds especially good.)! [TV Series: 12 episodes + 2 compilation movies and one expansion movie][watch the first compilation movie or first 3 episodes. If you aren't hooked, drop it]

:Related Games: [[Liberi Gothica]], [[Magical Girls - The Game]], [[Magical Burst]], [[Princess: The Hopeful]], [[Quest:Magical Girl Noir Quest]]

*'''''Made in Abyss''''': What happens when you cross Studio Ghibli with the lovecraftian horror of Berserk, the brutality of Madoka Magica and the psychological horror of Digimon Tamers? You get Made in Abyss that's what! Made in Abyss is set in a pseudo-fantasy/adventure genre that is populated by <u>''a lot''</u> of [[Loli|moe lolis]] mining and excavating ancient relics of a past civilization found scattered in a giant, deep fucking hole in the middle of the island. Like Digimon Tamers and Madoka Magica, it starts off cute and whimsical with absolutely ''gorgeous'' background art that would make the Great Hayao Miyazaki proud. But partway through the plot, the series turns into a very dark turn, and we mean <u>'''DARK'''</u>. The way the anime (and manga) handled its mature themes, its art design, the musical score, a well paced story progression and conclusion as well as not treating its audience like they are a bunch of mindless, horny basement dwellers earned it critical acclaim to not only anime elitists, but normal plebs as well. Furthermore, the fantastic world building of Made in Abyss has made it popular for D&D conversions. That and the fact that it gave /tg/ a bucket load of [[Meme|memes]] thanks to a certain bunch of characters...[TV Series: 13 episodes + upcoming second season]

:Related games: [[Dungeons and Dragons]]

== Fantasy ==
*'''''[[Record of Lodoss War]]''''': Particularly noteworthy because it actually started life series of role-playing game sessions (first edition D&D!) that were turned into novels and then an Anime, that alone gives it major points. Sometimes known as [[meme|''Record of Loads of War'']]. Plot wise it's a bit cliché, but it is still well regarded. [OVA series: 13 episodes + 27 TV episodes]
**The same setting has two less famous anime titles: '''''Legend of Crystania''''' and '''''Rune Soldier'''''

:Related Games: [[Dungeons & Dragons]] (1st edition), Sword World (1st edition)

*'''''Fullmetal Alchemist''''': Forever among the ranks of the most popular anime EVER (and maybe the best, too, but you know, [[Skub]]), it has a young alchemist trying to recover both his missing limbs (his right arm and left leg) and his brother's ENTIRE BODY, which were lost following an alchemy accident where they attempt to [[Grimdark|revive their mother]]. The story eventually diverges from the manga to the point of characters having completely different roles in the story and which is polarizing when compared with the later series. [TV series: 51 episodes + 1 movie + 4 OVAs]
**'''''Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood''''': Take Iron Kingdoms, take magic out, ignore a good part of the tech but add [[Avatar: The Last Airbender|element-bending]], daddy issues and the more awesome parts of the Imperial Guard, and you get Brotherhood. It's impressive that there hasn't been made a RPG to this setting yet, as it's almost perfect for a Dark Heresy-esque game. Includes copious amounts of blood without becoming gore, genocides and unholy powers taking your body in exchange for knowledge. Has better animation and the original manga's story in exchange for being less grimdark than the 2003 series. [TV series: 64 episodes + 4 OVAs]

:Related games: [[Dark Heresy|Dark Heresy]], [[Warmachine]], [[Eberron]]

*'''''[[Berserk]]''''': Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay: The Anime. Guts, a brutal and unstoppable swordsman, walks the land of grimdark as he recounts his impossibly bad-assed past. Noted for being GUTS HUEG because GUTS is HUEG, meaning he has [[Rip and Tear|HUEG GUTS]]. [TV series: 25 episodes][READ THE MANGA]
**'''''Berserk: The Golden Age Arc Movie Trilogy''''': This focuses on the Manga's Golden Age Arc only the whole trilogy is currently on Netflix (added bonus its dubbed in ''english''). [3 movies]
**'''''Berserk (2016)''''': Building largely on the achievements of the aforementioned movie trilogy, the latest incarnation of Berserk finally explores a more monstrous and demon-infested setting set two years after the Golden Age Arc. While despised by many fans for its terrible CG animation and skipping major character moments, it's the only thing you're going to get for a long while. Made by the same people that gave you Teekyuu, the ''nine season'' shitpost.

:Related games: [[Warhammer Fantasy]]

*'''''(The) [[Slayers]]''''': AD&D 2nd edition: The Animation. Known for being a significantly more realistic take on what tabletop roleplay is like than the aforementioned ''Lodoss War'', despite not actually being so closely based off an actual campaign. ''Lodoss War'' has been described as being the campaign the DM planned, whereas ''Slayers'' has been described as the campaign the players ended up playing. The TV series and OVA series are separate continuities with some overlap in the form of cameos. [TV series: 104 episodes + 1 movie, OVA series: 6 + 4 movies]

:Related games: [[Dungeons & Dragons|Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]]

*'''''Spice and Wolf''''': A show about [[Horo]], wolf-girl pagan goddess of the harvest (Often mistaken for [[Leman Russ]],) and also economics. Proof that not all medieval fantasy has to be sword-and-sorcery to be interesting.

:Related games: [[Settlers of Catan]], [[GURPS]] Fantasy Setting

*'''''Maoyuu Maou Yuusha''''': (''Geopolitical Economic Theories in My D&D?''): An anime in which the brave Hero (named Hero) enters the Demon Realm in an attempt to kill the evil Demon Lord (named Demon Lord). In retaliation the Demon Lord diplomances him into submission, explains how the economy works, then proceeds to dominate the southern human realm with basic human rights, intelligent farming methods and smart business strategies. Originated as a webnovel published on 2ch's text boards, and matriculated into the spiritual successor to ''Spice and Wolf''. [TV series: 25 episodes + 2 OVAs]

:Related games: [[Settlers of Catan]], [[GURPS]] Fantasy Setting, [[Ironclaw]], [[Road to Enlightenment]], Deus Vult: Wargaming in the Time of the Crusades, [[Reign]]

*'''''Sengoku Basara: Samurai Kings''''': A retelling of the Sengoku Era of feudal Japan, spearheaded by OP historical figures with varying accuracy and their own special attributes like six-wielding lightning shooting katanas. It is also nearly as manly as Fist of the North Star and somehow includes a fucking cyborg titan, steam-punkesque machinery, and magic. Sengoku Basara itself is a series of video games that predate and proceed the story of the anime (not to be confused with Samurai Warriors due to the same setting, same characters, and similar gameplay). [TV series: 24 episodes + 2 OVAs]

:Related games: [[Exalted]], Civilization, LoL

*'''''[[Strike Witches]]''''': (''Little Girls in Panties''): WWII flying aces redrawn as [[loli]] airplane machines which zap aliens while flying around without pants. Not really beloved by /tg/, but someone thought something about the show would make [[Dive into the Sky|a good homebrew.]] [TV series: 24 episodes + 1 movie + 4 OVAs]

:Related games: [[Axis & Allies]], Axis and Allies Angels 20, Ace of Aces, a metric fuckton of quests

*'''''Escaflowne''''': What you get when you combine Dungeons and Dragons with Mecha anime. Or simply say that it's DragonMech: The Anime... kinda. [TV series: 26 episodes + 1 movie]

:Related games: [[Dragonmech]]

*'''''Night Wizard!''''' is a 2007 anime licensed from the [http://www.fear.co.jp/nw/ same-named Japanese TRPG] (that uses [http://www.fear.co.jp/srs/ FEAR's free Standard RPG System]). It's based on an actual campaign and the DVD even has the original sessions as an alternate audio track, which is awesome... for anyone who understands Japanese. [TV series: 13 episodes]

:Related games: [http://www.fear.co.jp/srs/ Standard RPG System] obviously

*'''''Chaos Dragon: Sekiryū Sen'eki''''' is a 2015 anime based on sessions of the Japanese TRPG ''[http://sai-zen-sen.jp/special/reddragon/ Red Dragon]''. The players and GM are veterans from other anime productions, [http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=16889 more details at ANN.] [TV series: 12 episodes]

:Related games: [http://sai-zen-sen.jp/special/reddragon/ Red Dragon] obviously

*'''''Maria the Virgin Witch''''': What makes us add Maria to this list is not anything about its characters or its plot detailing a Witch in the 100 years war between England and France trying to stop the fighting, but it's accuracy. To be blunt, it's not just historically accurate for an anime, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tFOJFyTl1U but it's historically accurate <u>period</u>.] If you want to get a decent idea of the Hundred Years War weapons and techniques, Maria is far from worst media you could watch to see what this kind of fighting looked like. [TV series: 12 episodes]

:Related games: [[Warhammer Fantasy]], [[Dungeons & Dragons|Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]]

*'''''Izetta the Last Witch''''': A witch gets thrown into a pandemonium of a world. The year is 1939 and the Empire of Germania has just invaded the small principality of Elystadt. Includes: Magic, World War 2, actual fucking trench warfare (and it's failure to blitz tactics) and pretty much all things 1939 (also has moe lovechild of the SAS and a Vindicare temple). It has Imperial Guard - Tier holding the line long enough for the MCs to take all the credit.The story's bad, there's a ton of str-4 in it, and its MC is a full blown [[Mary Sue]]. Oh and she rides a fucking fuckhueg Anti-Tank Rifle (a derivation of the Boys and Type 97) as a broom and makes swords fly like any respectable rogue psyker. Pretty unrelated, Poland's called Livonia, a real country now Latvia and Estonia, While France is called Thermidor, Italy as Romulus, and Elystadt is West Austria[TV series: 12 episodes]

:Related games: [[Warhammer 40k]], [[Warhammer]], [[Bolt Action]],[[Flames of War]], [[Axis & Allies]]

*'''''First Squad: The Moment of Truth''''': This is set in the eastern front during the Second World War where a group of "gifted" Soviet youth are trained to be a countermeasure to the Schutzstaffel trying to reanimate (through dark arts) an army of Teutonic Knights from a 12th century invasion of Russia (specifically, it's probably the Battle of Peipus (Battle of the Ice)). It has Soviet and Nazi Paranormal Tech, Panzers, and short but well made battle scenes, and what is probably a progenitor of the Ordo Malleus. What more is there to say? [Movie, Japanese Audio: 1:00:28 + Russian Audio with "interview" cutscenes: 1:12:53]

:Related games: [[Warhammer 40k]], [[Warhammer]], [[Bolt Action]], [[Flames of War]], [[Axis & Allies]]

*'''''Queen's Blade''''': An ecchi anime full of [[Hot Chicks]] ripping apart each other's clothes. There's a plot involving a tournament to become the ruler of the world and claim the titular Queen's Blade, but [[PROMOTIONS|you're not going to care about it.]] Based on an old-school gamebook series that became big in Japan by stealing their secret art of hoovering up NEETbux with gratuitous nudity. [TV Series: 24 episodes + 6 OVAs + 12 specials]
**'''''Queen's Blade: Rebellion''''': A sequel to the previous. After Claudia won the Queen's Blade, she abolished the tournament and became a ruthless tyrant. The series follows rebels trying to overthrow her. Grinds against the line between ecchi and hentai like it was a table corner. [TV Series: 12 episodes + 2 OVAs + 6 specials]

:Related games: [[Fighting Fantasy]]

== Mecha ==
*'''''Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion''''': When you take terrorism, high school, chess and a protagonist smoother than a dwarf (mine)shaft then throw in some mech suits you get Code Geass. The plot focuses on a masked [[Batman|vigilante]] called Zero <s>[[Alpharius|who may remind you of a certain someone]]</s> and their efforts to fight back against the Brittanian Empire but that's not all. The power of geass plays a major role (explaining it properly would be a spoiler but it's basically [[magic|magic]]/hypnosis). The mechs of the series are known as [[meme|Knightmares]] which serve as the main fighting force for Brittania and the rebels. If you want a show that has [[Heresy|qualities even the Emperor's Children would appreciate]] then watch it. [TV series: 25 episodes]
**'''''Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion R2''''': Follows as a continuation of the first season. Just as [[Pretty Marines|fabulous]]. [TV series: 25 episodes]
**'''''Code Geass: Lelouch of the Resurrection''''': A third season announced for <s>2017</s> 2018. Widely considered to be the producers [[Warhammer 40,000|milking the franchise]] but all the fanboys will no doubt end up [[Just as planned|watching it anyway]].

:Related games: [[Battletech]], playing with Imperial Knights in [[Warhammer 40,000]]

*'''''Eureka Seven''''': A boy who aspires to become a 'sky surfer' (think floating surfboards) links up with a cute girl who pilots a gigantic mech for the 'Gekkostate' organization. Said mechs ride upscaled versions of hover boards and battle government forces for control of a rare power source. To get a good idea what the mechs look like, picture Evangelions that can transform into vehicles and that carry fuckhueg surfboards. [TV series: 51 episodes + 1 movie that you shouldn't watch because it is bad.]
**'''''Eureka Seven AO''''': A sequel to the original that shits on basically everything the first series was about in [[Rage|the most aggravating manner possible]]. Avoid. [TV series: 25 episodes + 1 OVA]

:Related games: [[Traveller]], [[Battletech]]

*'''''Robotech''''': One of the most well-known anime series of all time, it basically revolves around humanity fighting against multiple alien invaders with transforming mecha. It helped influence the Transformers franchise and is a must-watch for mecha/sci-fi enthusiasts. Also the reason why many of the original [[BattleTech]] designs can never be remodeled again; [[FASA]] licensed the designs from Japan first but [[Games Workshop|Harmony Gold didn't want to share.]] Is an adaptation and combination of three Japanese anime: '''''The Super Dimension Fortress Macross''''', '''''Super Dimension Cavalry Southern Cross''''', and '''''Genesis Climber MOSPEADA''''', for which the term "Macekre" was coined, referring to producer Carl Macek. [TV series: 85 episodes + 4 movies + 2 OVAs]

:Related games: [[BattleTech]], or you know Palladium's Robotech game

*'''''The Big O''''': Batman meets mechs meets Japanese monster movies in a post-apocalyptic world where nobody remembers anything prior to forty years ago and advanced androids walk the streets of an otherwise 1920s-era city dominated by glass domes. One of the biggest contenders for "Most Confusing Ending" award, it is otherwise well-regarded by the anime community and it's lack of a third season to answer all the questions is much-lamented. That said, the director had originally been given two seasons to plot out his story, had it cut to one due to poor ratings, then had a second season greenlit thanks to its performance in the US, only to give us another season of questions. [TV series: 26 episodes]

:Related games: [[Mekton]], Dungeons & Dragons: [[Eberron]], [[Spirit of the Century]]

*'''''Armored Trooper VOTOMS''''': A Mecha pilot of few words and fewer expressions seeks revenge on those who framed him, uncovering an ancient conspiracy along a way. One of the grittier and "realest" entries of the real robot genre without going into the hard sci-fi. Inspired [[Heavy Gear]], which the Japanese described as "The Votoms mecha in the Dougram setting", the latter referring to '''Fang of the Sun Dougram''', VOTOMS creator's earlier real robot series. It also has its [https://rpggeek.com/rpg/4111/armored-trooper-votoms-role-playing-game own role playing system] running off the Fuzion rules. [TV series: 52 episodes + 10 OVAs]

:Related games: [[Heavy Gear]]

*'''''Fang of the Sun Dougram''''': A pack of Guerillas with Real-Robot 'mechs fight a war of independence on a shitty-ass planet. Fairly strong amounts of cynicism and grey morality and minimal wacky shit firmly separate it from Gundam and the like. Was one of the direct inspirations for Battletech, which cribbed all it's 'mech designs verbatim and much of the extremely mad-max-esque setting. [TV series: 75 episodes + 2 movies +1 OVA]

:Related games: [[BattleTech]], A Time of War

*'''''Mobile Suit Gundam''''': The mecha anime that not only helped popularize Real-Robots in the first place but also started one of the longest-running sci-fi franchises in Japan and in time would help influence the [[Tau]]. Set in the midst of a bloody "One Year War" between the Earth Federation and <s>Space Nazis</s> oppressed colonists called the Principality of Zeon, it follows the trials of a whiny teenager who quickly grows a spine, the titular Gundam and the crew of the White Base as they generally try to win the war in one piece, with some <s>psyker</s> Newtype hijinks along the way. Also known for its grey morality, gritty portrayal of war, intrigue, lots of mass-produced robots dying in droves and even more deaths. Basically, the Japanese equivalent of Star Wars if it deconstructed Star Trek. Had poor ratings at its initial airing in 1979, only really gaining popularity with successive reruns. Now there are at least [TV series: 43 episodes + 3 movies]

:Related games: [[BattleTech]], [[Warhammer 40000]]

*'''''Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans''''': One of the latest (<s>and most [[Awesome|awesome]]/[[FAIL|failed]] (terrible plot pacing, wonky villain motive)</s> ([[Skub|It's complicated]])) iterations of the Gundam franchise, IBO focusses on a group of young [[Imperial Guard|orphans-turned-soldiers]] and their struggle to protect a princess trying to bring peace to the land. There are only 72 Gundam suits ever produced in this post-apocalyptic setting, and a good bunch of them appear in the hands of both the antagonists and the protagonists. As expected of a Gundam show, the [[Rip and Tear|deaths are aplenty]] and there are a ton of intense mecha-on-mecha action scenes to enjoy. What differentiates this Gundam series from the others is how the protagonists suffer extraordinarily painful events throughout the show, [[Grimdark|despite the fact that they are children barely approaching their teen years]] (as expected, this has generated much debate on the topic of child soldiers and other more [[Serious Business|serious business]] brought up in the plot, such as slavery and neo-colonialism). The main crew will fight [[Freebooterz|pirates]], mercenaries, and a huge military organization along their journey, and the show also features a charismatic soldier [[Tzeentch|trying to manipulate people on both sides of the conflict]] to bring balance to <s>[[Star Wars|the Force]]</s> the aforementioned military organization. <s>[[What|Ignore the fact that he is technically engaged to a kid despite being a fully-grown adult.]]</s> Also, unlike…hell, most anime in general, there’s a semi-legit reason for the child soldiers here. The kids have special spinal implants that are basically 40k mind-impulse links, allowing them to control mobile suits and mobile workers with their minds, as extensions of their own bodies, and thus giving them much faster and more fluid control than any normal pilot. The catch is that only the still developing bodies of kids can safely accept the implants. Then we go into derp territory when these mind-impulse link child soldiers are [[wat|treated as disposable trash by their commanders, considered worthless beyond the fact that they have "whiskers."]] Oh, also, unlike any other Gundam series, this one is not only an on-Earth exclusive one, but (due to advances in armor rendering lasers almost completely impotent) the use of ranged weapons is much more sparse, with XBOX HUEG melee weapons as the main instrument of fighting. [TV series: 50 episodes]

:Related games: See above

== Gaming ==
*'''''The Legend of Koizumi''''': The world leaders all play Mahjong to determent the fate of the planet. Later on a team of Koizumi, The Bushes, The Pope, Putin, and Yulia Tymoshenko fight Hitler who took over the Moon. [OVA series: 3 episodes]

:Related Games: [[Mahjong]]

*'''''Saki''''': The journey of Miyanaga Saki and her friends to rise to the inter-high school and eventually, the National Mahjong championship. Also lots of fan shipping between the girls. [TV series: 54 episodes + 1 OVA]

:Related Games: [[Mahjong]]

*'''''Problem Children are Coming from Another World, aren't they?''''': Sakamaki Izayoi, Kudou Asuka and Kudou Yoh are invited and transported to a place called "Little Garden", a sprawling melting pot of races grouped into communities. The three children are given "Gifts" and participate in the high-stakes "Gift Games", that can win back the prestige and territory of their community. The setting has analogies to Planescape's Sigil in general. [TV series: 10 episodes + 1 OVA]

:Related games: [[Planescape|Planescape]], [[Dungeons & Dragons|Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]], [[Quest thread|quests]]

*'''''No Game No Life''''': Two basement shut-ins [[OP|who win every game they play]] are dropped into a world where everything is decided with games, even national borders. They have to save the humans from getting steamrolled by 15 other races, all of whom use magic to cheat since Humans can't sense magic being cast. Involves plenty of traditional-of-traditional games being played, with metagaming tricks and cheating. [TV series: 12 episodes]

:Related games: A lot of "normal" [[board games]], [[Monopoly#Metanopoly|Metanopoly]]

*'''''Tonari no Seki-kun''''': A slice of life High School show following a girl and her classmate who spends all class playing miscellaneous strange games with himself. The English adaptation is subtitled, "Master of Killing Time" for some weird reason. The manga it is based on is a gold mine of reaction images. [TV series: 1 OVA + 21 episodes]

:Related Games: [[Board Games]], bored games

*'''''Log Horizon''''': Players of popular MMORPG awaken in the game world itself. While the [[Isekai|"trapped in an MMO"]] premise is by no means a new thing in anime (a recent and infamously bad example being ''Sword Art Online'') Log Horizon is unique in the way it explores how the people thrust into such a situation would adapt without skipping straight to the shitty cliches. Now with its own TRPG core book. [TV series: 50 episodes]

:Related games: Log Horizon TRPG, [[/v/|Everquest]], [[4e]]

*'''''Kantai Collection''''': Originally a browser waifu game, it's about WW2 naval warfare, where the ships are personified as [[loli]]s. Yes, seriously; it's in route of becoming something akin to [[Touhou]], given the amount of material out there getting mass-produced by the fans. When combined with ''[[Girls und Panzer]]'' and ''[[Strike Witches]]'', you got the moe armed force to end all moe armed forces, period. [TV series: 12 episodes + 1 movie]

:Related games: Battleship, Axis & Allies, [[Quest_thread|quests, quests, quests]].

*'''''Overlord''''': A 2015 adaptation of the first of 10 novels, written in 2012 by Kugane Maruyama after his tabletop group disbanded. It follows Momonga, a guild-leader in the last days of a [[/v/|MMORPG]] just before it shuts down. Instead of getting kicked offline, Momonga [[wat|becomes his level 100 character]], the eponymous "[[lich|overlord]]". Now stuck in the realm of a player-less MMORPG, with every NPC come to life (for good or ill), he takes on the name of his former guild, Ainz Ooal Gown, in the hopes that someone will recognize it, and goes off on various adventures. Almost every spell name is ripped straight from D&D. [TV series: 28 episodes, more coming, and a few goody shorts]

:Related games: High-level [[3.5e]]

*[[Girls und Panzer|'''''Girls und Panzer''''']]: As mentioned by the Kantai Collection entry above, this show rounds out the 'Holy Moe Armed Forces Trinity' by having schoolgirls actually fight each other in historic World War II tanks (tanks manufactured slightly after World War II, such as the British Centurion, are also featured) in a war game blown up to real proportions. The main story follows a ragtag Japanese high school 'tankery' team as they try to beat the more elite (and powerful) teams competing on the international level. Featuring towns built on oversized aircraft carriers, plenty of World War II references, and a diverse cast of characters, this show panders to anime fans and World of Tanks/War Thunder players alike (In fact, GuP and WoT are cross-promoting each other's materiel). [TV series: 7 OVAs, 12 episodes and 2 recap episodes]

:Related games: [[Flames of War]]

== Things That Aren't Anime, But You Thought Were ==
*'''''[[Touhou]]''''': An arcade-style, shoot-em-up vidya series, featuring a 100% [[loli]] cast, barring one or two NPCs here or there. Its fandom is incredibly large and kooky, and so fanart of its characters get plastered all over 4chan, causing newfags to ask what anime they are from and incite much derision. It has however, received several official manga spinoffs. [Video-game series: 27 titles, as of '''''Hidden Star in Four Seasons''''']

:Related games: [[Video games|/v/ stuff, shmups,]] [[Exalted]], [[4e]] (that's a joke, a joke [[Touhou_Power_Cards|someone made terrifyingly real]].)

*'''''[[Wakfu]]''''': A French (and therefore absolutely based) cartoon about a kid named Yugo who discovers he is part of a long-lost race of people with the ability to create portals. A fun world with fun characters and a surprisingly deep BBEG that is not to be confused with [[Waifu|your waifu.]] [TV series: 52 episodes + 6 specials + 27 episode mini-series]

:* '''''Dofus: The Treasures of Kerubim''''': Is an episodic series about a retired adventurer who runs an item shop, set around 1000 years before the '''''Wakfu''''' timeline and 200 years before the game. [TV series: 52 episodes + 1 movie]

::(Both Dofus and Wakfu stem from flash-made MMOs of the same names, both games have multiple classes that decide players' abilities and base appearance so homebrews are very possible.)

:Related Games: [[Krosmaster]], which features the same characters and races. Wakfu had an [http://docs.google.com/document/d/14WGhmgmK_tW9LJEQfwFAbpMeja7csNb-zt__3H7SDzQ/ unofficial early beta RPG] and the company Ankama has [http://www.dofus.com/en/mmorpg/news/announcements/265763-would-you-be-interested-tabletop-rpg-set-dofus-world asked if anyone is interested] in an official RPG.

*'''''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]''''': In a world where creatures are able to manipulate the elements through martial arts, a child capable of controlling air who froze himself in ice awakens to find that he is the last of his kind. This child is also the Avatar, a person with potential to manipulate all elements and multiply their power by communing with past lives. His adventure involves traveling with friends to master the elements in hopes of unlocking his powers and overthrowing the evil emperor of the Fire Nation that seeks to conquer the world.[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/23320304/ we argued about it once. No we didn't.] [TV series: 61 episodes]

:* '''''Avatar: The Legend of Korra''''': The sequel to the above set sixty years in the future. The next Avatar (Korra, a delicious brown girl from the water-manipulating tribe) struggles to make peace between the normals and the element-fu-wielding upper class amid the setting's equivalent of the Roaring Twenties. There's also some stuff about [[Chaos|a god of darkness disrupting the spirit world.]] Incredibly skubtastic on /co/ due to various hamhanded attempts at character development. [TV series: 52 episodes]

:Related games: [[Exalted]], [[Legends of the Wulin]]. Also has a card-game that uses QuickStrike rules.

*'''''RWBY''''': [[Skub|Anime-esque CGI production]] made by the late Monty Oum and RoosterTeeth, pronounced "ruby". The world is filled with creatures known as Grimm that seek to destroy humanity, stemmed back by a pseudo-magical substance known as Dust and an order of protectors known as Huntsmen, which the four main female characters are training to be. Started off [[noblebright]] with themes of tolerance and improving society, then got more [[grimdark]] by the middle of the third season. [[Skub|Depending on who you ask, it's either an enjoyable (if flawed) series with good characters, an interesting setting and ideas, and cool weapons, or a dumpster fire of bootleg anime tropes smashed together with hackneyed writing.]] Pretty much everyone agrees that the fight choreography is amazing in the first two seasons, which lends itself to some popularity among fa/tg/uys. Currently someone is trying to make [[RWBY RPG|an RPG based on the setting]] and RT's game development group recently expressed interest in making tabletop games of the series, supposedly based off a tabletop game played in the series, because [[recursion|Meta things are fun.]] Also notable for being widely hated on both [[/co/]] and [[/a/]], unlike most of the things on this list, so tread carefully when discussing it.
:Related games: low-level [[Exalted]], [[Big Eyes, Small Mouth]]

[[Category:Weeaboo]][[Category:Approved Media]]

A Song of Ice and Fire

2018-08-01T17:33:52Z

2602:304:B26C:4D20:D33:379:A331:646F: /* Characters */

[[image:Game_of_Thrones_Title-DVD.png|300px|thumb|WIENER PARTY! WIENER PARTY!]]

{{Template:Spoilers}}
'''Warning: This article contains so many spoilers we're ruining books that haven't even been released yet.'''

{{Topquote|If you think this story has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.|Ramsay Bolton, nailing the grimdark theme of this series}}

[[A Song of Ice and Fire]] (abbreviated as ASoIF) is a fantasy book series for people who hate fantasy. Its central themes include incest, douchebaggery, and inefficiency. Thus it has become one of the most popular series of our generation and its author, [[George R. R. Martin]], has been praised for his highly realized world and gritty low fantasy style. He was even called "the American [[Tolkien]]" by <s>Time magazine</s> gormless idiots who lump diametrically different writers together for no other reason than that they're both fantasy authors.

The series itself is set on the [[Original character, do not steal|totally not medieval European ripoff]] realm of Westeros as it is wracked by a massive succession war drawing its realms into conflict. A bunch of dudes declare themselves kings (book two), they're burning the continent down in their scramble for power, and somehow all the fuck-ups managed to lose anyway (book three). Just when the guys who lost the least start thinking they get to rule over the remaining chaos, more fuck ups happen and more dudes show up (book four). Sadly, winter has finally come and, unbeknownst to most people, [[Thousand Sons|evil ice wizards leading soulless undead]] are about to invade the continent from the north. By the fifth book, things are going/will go to shit even for the bad guys.

According to a leaked fan conversation, George R R Martin stated the series would end with an epic cock-slap fight between Samwell Tarly and Jaime Lannister.

TL;DR: [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Roses War of Roses] redux, with a side helpin' of <s>cliched fantasy</s> George's old sci-fi writing plots and [[/d/]].

===Characters===
Since these books have some thousand named characters, you won't remember most of them without an obsessive disorder over details.
Here's a relatively short list for the characters you'll care about.

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="width:100%">
'''House Stark'''

''"Winter Is Coming"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Proud, hardass northerners who serve as the series' main narrators. They have a tendency towards [[Lawful Stupid]] that bites them in the ass frequently. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_york House of York-ish].
* Eddard Stark, ''The Quiet Wolf'': Patriarch, lord and POV death-puppet. Not nearly as stupid as everyone tries to pretend, but still a dead man walking.
* Robb Stark, ''The Young Wolf'': Shiny, [[Lawful Stupid]] King Arthur-like hero. After waging a successful war to avenge his murdered father, he was betrothed to a noblewoman but he ended having comfort sex with a virgin noblewoman which may have been arranged by her scheming bitch mother, while in softcore porno he got the hots for a commoner. Cacks it nastily. Got his head cut off and his pet's wolf's head stuck on his body which was paraded around while his enemis chanted "HERE COMES THE KING IN THE NORTH!" In other words, he's a Scottish [[Roman Empire|Hannibal Barca]].
* Sansa Stark: Useless teenage girl extraordinaire at the start of the series with dreams of marrying a prince and "having lots of babies" but get's shat on hard by reality. Becomes Littlefinger's replacement goldfish when Catelyn's no longer around, her father got killed and her best friend was sold as a sex slave, and ended up in the worst relationship we can possibly imagine with King Joffrey. [[Grimdark|Even got deflowered via rape by Ramsey Bolton]] and married to him before managing to escape with the help of others. Currently acting as a co-ruler to her brother/cousin Jon Snow, and has learned much from her suffering; allowing her to kick Littlefinger out of the Great Game via throat slitting. While in the book Littlefinger is setting her up at House Arryn to claim the Vale and the North.
* Arya Stark: Little tomboy assassin. Has a kill list, but doesn't get to use it so long as she is an amnesiac apprentice of the Friendly Neighborhood Assassins Guild. After breaking away (TV series) from the Asassin's she heads back to Westeros to get revenge on a LOT of people, giving her one of the highest kill counts in the series. Is currently back with her sister Sansa acting as a general "troubleshooter".
* Catelyn Stark (nee Tully): A woman who trusts the wrong people at the worst time, causing a lot of misery. Gets killed along with Robb, then comes back (novel) as an undead witch bent on killing all the Boltons, Freys, Greyjoys, Lannisters... pretty much everyone she thinks was tangentially involved in betraying her and her family, or somebody who just pissed her off.
* Bran Stark: Intelligent little boy, crippled in the first sign of major [[GrimDark]]. Has prophetic dreams and becomes a [[druid]]. In the TV series, fucks things up by alerting the Others to where he's hiding, which gets all of the Children, his loyal wolf, the Three-Eyed Crow and Hodor killed. For good measure, turns out to have accidentally ''caused'' Hodor to become, well, Hodor, as he was using his druid powers to figure out why Hodor is only able to say Hodor, resulting in Hodor's gruesome death-by-zombies being beamed directly into young!Hodor's brain.
* Rickon Stark: Four years old at the start, turning into a real little [[Barbarian]] from not being raised properly because everyone who would of have raised him was dead or missing. In the show, he ends up hanging out at the Umbers, then is handed over to Ramsay as a prisoner when Smalljon becomes afraid of the Wildings living north of him (who were invited by Jon Snow to fight the Zombie Apocalypse), and finally dies via arrow in a sick game of "dodge the missiles" courtesy of Ramsey.
* Jon Snow, ''The White Wolf'': A bastard living in the Stark household before leaving for the Night's Watch (basically [[The Last Chancers|Colonel Schaeffer]] with more convicted rapists under his command) and excels there because nearly every one of his fellow recruits are peasants who have never had a formal days training while Jon has had the serious training afforded to all lords. After he takes over by becoming the Watch Commander secures and alliance with the Wildlings, ancient barbarian enemies of the Night's Watch, because when the end of the world is coming you tend to think outside the box. Currently revived by R'hllor in the series after being stabbed to death by the senior members of the Watch. Isn't actually Eddard's son, but rather the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark. The new KING IN DA NORF according to his supporters after he killed Ramsey Snow and took back Winterfell.
* Hodor: Hodor. Hodor, Hodor, Hodor. <s>An enormous and possibly retarded stable boy, and Bran's faithful steed.</s> Hodor. Ok, in all actual seriousness, this guy is probably one of the most tragic figures in this series (and that's saying something). [[Grimdark|The guy basically received horrible visions of his own death fighting a horde of zombies, buying time for his friends to escape by literally holding the door shut as he was hacked apart]]. This causes him to suffer a psychiatric break, and could only repeat a garbled phrase of his friend's last request "hold the door" for all of his adult life; the logic here is that "hold the door" devolves into "hol' th' door" and eventually "Hodor".
* Osha: A Wildling woman who surrendered to the Starks and becomes their servant in exchange for not getting killed. Now dead in the show thanks to Ramsay's dickery.</div></div>

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="width:100%">
'''House Targaryen'''

''"Fire and Blood"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The one time dragon kings and rulers of Westeros, who got that way thanks to the Aegon I, who had ginat dragons when everyone else had horses. He's essentially [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_the_Conqueror William the Conqueror] who spent a little too much time on [[/d/]] (more on that in a minute), and placed in a low fantasy world.

[[Rules Lawyer|Thanks to a loophole]], the Tagaryens were immune to the moral objections relating to incest. Common sense (and common decency) took back seat to a time-honored policy of [[/d/|catastrophic inbreeding]], which made a number of problems. Aegon I married his older and younger sisters and had several kids with each, which would be the start of another Tagaryen tradition: the occasional succession crisis. The inbreeding would also lead to a line of almost alternatingly great and lunatic kings, culminating in Aerys "The Mad King" Targaryen and a palace coup. Eventually the lineage was banished to Essos (that means "Eastern Continent" for the possible half a person who didn't get the obvious distinction between Westeros and Essos) after a brutal civil war, the remnants trying to gather armies to retake the Iron Throne which they see as rightfully theirs. Basically a family of inbreeding girly-men with a massive sense of superiority and as arrogant as they come, forgetting that most of what they accomplished was due to the fact that only they had dragons. Still; they occasionally did have genuinely good people like Aegon V (aka Egg), Jaeherys I the Conciliator, his wife Good Queen Alysanne and complete badasses like Brynden Bloodraven and Baelor Breakspear. Pseudo-Romans/[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Normandy House of Normandy].
* Aerys II, ''The Mad King'': [[Kharn|A pretty fun guy to be around]]. Had a psychotic fascination for fire, which extended to being a psychotic fascination for burning traitors, a category of people that eventually grew to include anybody he disliked for any reason, anyone who disagreed with him, and a few people who were unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire. [[Goge Vandire|Teamkilled by his bodyguard Jamie for planning to burn the city down with everyone inside it, and even refused to accept his death until he actually died]].
* Daenerys Targaryen, ''Stormborn'': She was sold by her brother to a barbarian leader [[Genghis motherfucking Khan|Khal (warlord) Drogo]] in exchange for the promise that he'd use his Khalassar (warband/tribe) to conquer Westeros. She found her self esteem as his wife, then her husband killed her idiot brother Viserys and promised to conquer the world for Daenerys, making her a full-fledged badass barbarian warqueen. Unfortunately, her husband died when [[Derp|Daenarys trusted one of the slaves whose town Drogo had pillaged and burnt to heal an infected wound of his]] and his horde fell apart(though the book is somewhat ambigious as to whether the slave did kill Drago). Then she hatched three dragons (completely by accident when she tried to commit suicide) bringing them back from extinction, and now everyone wants to marry her because she is now one of the most powerful people around due to said dragons. [[Gets shit done]] except the entire fifth book, in which she mopes around about wanting to marry an annoying, flamboyant mercenary instead of saving herself for political marrige. She later marries a Meereenese noble who guarantees he can get her some peace (more likely [[Just As Planned|just as he planned]]). She also does nothing while insurgents kill her men, a horde of plagued refugees spread disease to her city, and standing idly by while an enemy army besieges her walls, all for realistically political reasons because the world is a horrible place. Learns how to train her dragon. Is currently (TV series) in Westeros invading the place with an army of elite hoplites, a massive horde of Dothraki, and two dragons because the third one is dead.
* The dragons: The three dragons that Daenerys hatched. They're wyverns that breathe fire, [[Awesome|have blood hot enough to melt steel]], and [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|cook their meat before eating it]]. The coolest things in the story.
** Drogon; named for her late husband, Khal Drogo. Black and Red, the biggest and most aggressive dragon. Starts eating people and then escapes, leading to the other two getting imprisoned. Interrupts a gladiator tournament, killing a lot of people before being whipped by Daenerys into flying her to a Khalassar that broke off from her husband's after his death.
** Rhaegal; named for the first of her dead brothers, Rhaegar. Green and gold, the cunning one. Kills Quentyn Martell (see below). After breaking out of jail with Viserion they go "all your bases are belong to us" on Meereen, killing people and taking over the pyramid of a loyal family as his lair.
** Viserion; named for her other brother Viserys. White and gold, the friendliest (as dragons go, he still eats people) and the loudest. Dug cave for himself in his jail then moved into another pyramid after their great escape. Gets killed by the [[Vampire Counts|Night's King in the show via a magic spear and is reanimated to be his zombie dragon steed]].
* Viserys Targaryen, ''The Beggar King'': Daenerys' physically abusive older brother. Best known for being a bully with incestuous lust for her and an arrogant and incompetent fuck with a massive sense of entitlement. He eventually got himself killed for being an all-around jerk and whiny idiot, which culminated in him threatening his sister and unborn nephew with a sword while drunk in a sacred Dothraki place where weapons and bloodshed are forbidden on pain of death. Daenerys' husband [[awesome|poured a crown of molten gold over his head]].
* Aegon Targaryen, ''Aegon VI'': Daenerys' nephew, the son of her brother Rhaegar. Been hiding in Essos for the entire length of the series, but recently raised an army of Westerosi exiles and threw them all a massive Welcome Home party with rape and pillage. Wants to marry his aunt because she has dragons, and might not actually be a member of House Targaryen if you believe some fans. He can actually count past 6, can multiply numbers, can read different language and has a minor understanding of geometry thus cementing him as one of the most educated people in this overwrought series. Can also do his own laundry.
* Brynden Rivers ''Bloodraven'': A Targaryen bastard who came to prominence about a hundred years before the series as sort of sorcerer, he later became known as the "Three-Eyed Raven/Crow" after encountering the Children of the Forest, and uses his powers to help advert the Long Night and train Bran. He's described as having long, white hair, missing an eye, bound to a tree, knows all and sees all, associated heavily with ravens and omens...[[Vikings|yeah, he's very much Odin, come to think of it.]]</div></div>

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'''House Lannister'''

''"Hear Me Roar"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Rich, fabulous, bastards who [[Dwarfs (Warhammer)|always pay their debts]]. Not much of a martial tradition but if you cross them [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7t7cnwlOgY they will fucking cut you]. You can tell they are the bad guys because they have an army of sick fucks, including a zebra-riding mercenary band and 7' 8" Khornate Champion Gregor Clegane. House Lancaster in drag.
* Tywin Lannister, ''The Lion of Lannister'': Head of the house. Actually not a full-fledged Magnificent Bastard extraordinaire, because for all his cunning he's a bit too stubborn to see there are some things he can't control. Good enough of a general to curbstomp everyone who fights against him, and he was the true power behind the throne until he died on the toilet. However he was a deplorable father. Blind to the incestuous relationship his two oldest children had and hated Tyrion and made his life a living hell fro very poor reasons. He humiliated Tyrion whenever it wouldn't threaten the family's reputation, berated Tyrion for being a whore-monger despite secretly being one himself, [[Grimdark|tried to get him killed multiple times]] and then his capstone of awful parenting; he taught Tyrion not to marry commoners after he married one called Tysha by forcing Tyrion to watch Tysha get gangraped, forcing him to rape her too and then annulling their marriage. The only people Tywin truly loved were his wife and father. Has his own sweet, yet creepy as fuck theme song about him fucking up one house so badly their name is used as a warning against anyone standing against him. He's [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Neville,_16th_Earl_of_Warwick Warwick the Kingmaker]
* Joanna Lannister: Tywin's late wife and first cousin meaning the next three characters are inbred as well ironically. Dies giving birth to Tyrion, which is part of why Tywin hates him, though Cersei hates him for other reasons. Caught wind of Cersei and Jaime's incestuous tendencies, but she died before she could stop it or tell Tywin. It is implied that her ghost visits Jaime in a dream and mourns the current state of her family.
* Cersei Lannister, ''Cunt Queen'': Tywin and Joanna's first child. Twin sister to Jaime Lannister and wife to King Robert Baratheon. She fucks her brother Jamie all the time and had three of his children, whom she passed off as Robert's to grab power. She seeks to rule Westeros as the Queen, and will do anything to keep her power. Crazy as all fuck and prophesied to be killed by the "little brother." This is because of a prophecy a Gypsy made when Cersei was a child that she'd be a beautiful queen, lose everything, her children would die before her, and her little brother would kill her. Though that does explains why she hates Tyrion as hard as all fuck, [[Just As Planned|the exact translation of the term]] that was used is "younger sibling", and not necessarily her sibling, which opens the door to all sorts of characters who hate the fuck out of her. Since Jaime is technically younger by a few seconds, him killing Cersei would be an interesting twist not without buildup. Possibly the Gypsy was messing with her head because of what a bitch Cersei was being to her; something Cersei never grew out of. Cersei is currently alive only because Varys wants her to be [[Just As Planned|as she's a terrible queen who'll destabilize the realm enough for him to bring back the Targereyns]]. She was completely shaved, stripped of power in all but her royal heritage and forced to do a nude walk of penance throughout the city by the High Sparrow (ASOIAF Pope equivalent). Now she's waiting for her hair to grow back and may be thinking of revenge. She gets it in the show by blowing up the Sept (ASOIAF church) with everyone she doesn't like inside it, having her cousin killed near the Wildfire then capturing the nun who was her jailer and [[Grimdark|leaving her to be tortured to death by zombie Gregor Clegane]]. She is in short Thanquol disguised as a beautiful blonde woman.
* Jaime Lannister, ''The Kingslayer'': Younger twin brother (by about three seconds) to Cersei Lannister and commander of the Kingsguard. He loves his sister in every sense of the word and had three children with her. Killed the last king despite his oath, and hated for it, even though everyone agrees that dying was a massive improvement for Aerys. The reason for this betrayal was that Aerys had a huge stockpile of Acme Brand Magic Napalm stockpiled under the city, ready to be set off the moment a siege broke through the town walls; and Jaime's options were to let it happen or kill Aerys before the crazy fuck got ''everybody'' killed. His desire to openly love his sister and win the respect he feels he deserves eventually causes Cersei to reject him. Starts off as an arrogant douche but becomes quite bro-tier (except the whole wants-to-fuck-his-sister thing, though he grows out of that as well when he realises what a bitch she is and that the hunky Brienna isn't that bad looking) after learning a few hard lessons, losing his sword hand, and having some time to rethink his life. Also the only person in his family who treats Tyrion well, along with one of his aunt's and two dead uncles. Essentially, a more incestuous and douchey Blood Angel.
* Tyrion Lannister, ''Halfman'': a very intelligent dwarf who is awesome, but hated by all of the civilized characters in the books, except his brother Jaime. He seems to do much better with whores, rogues, and barbarians. His silver tongue is one of his greatest strengths (he's witty and good at persuading people) and weaknesses (he's quick with insults and the truth in a city ruled by sociopaths and liars). Tyrion is also one of the only characters with an actual sense of the bigger picture, and an interest toward steering the world toward an outcome that ''doesn't'' involve a [[The End Times|Warhammer End Times]] scenario. Unfortunately, the world's movers, shakers, and those who generally have the power to make a difference are increasingly either a) dead, b) scattered to the winds, or c) hate his dwarf guts. Despite the increasing difficulty and fruitlessness of his task, however, [[Awesome|Tyrion still fights]]. After being framed for killing Joffrey and killing his father, he's currently in exile in the Free Cities, weaseling his way into leading a merc band and trying to sign them up with Daenerys' forces, recognizing her as one of the few chances Westeros has got of fixing its shit (provided she can get her own shit together, which she's having a bit of trouble with). Unlike most characters in this series, who tend to either be walking tropes, rip-offs of other fantasy characters, or historical people with different names, Tyrion is probably based on the great [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miles_Vorkosigan Miles Vorkosigan] (who was himself based on a few people including Sir Winston Churchill). Even if he is usually the smartest one in the room at any given time, though, Tyrion is still not above having some derp moments. Exhibit A, when Tyrion asked his father what happened to his old girlfriend (right before killing him), he took an ''obvious'' "I don't know and I don't care," response as actual, literal directions.
* Kevan Lannister: Tywin's younger brother, considered "the reliable one". A decent man, for saying that he is perfectly happy carrying out Tywin's bidding. Tried to talk sense into Cersei and was later called in to try and fix her mess. He did such a good job of it that Varys decided to personally thank him. With a crossbow. And a group of knife-wielding children.
*Cersei and Robert's (actually Jamie's) children.
** Joffrey Baratheon: "Heir" of the throne, and technical king of Westeros during the War of the Five Kings since he lives in King's Landing and sits on the throne. Turned out to be worse than Aerys. He died and there was much rejoicing. [[Fail|Except by his mother, who instead had sex on his corpse]]. Fourteen years old at time of death.
** Tommen Baratheon: The new king on the Iron Throne. Nine years old. Married to a teenaged shotacon wife who's (unknown to him) the granddaughter of his brother's true killer. Trying to litigate the criminalization of beets. Loves [[Cats|kittens]]. He's pretty well-rounded and non-fucked up, a miracle considering his parents, both putative and biological. Also seems to be trying to take kinging seriously, but his mom is trying to quash that in her subliminal attempt to hold power indefinitely, so whether it holds is another matter entirely. Prophesied to die before Cersei; doubly tragic due to his age and being a much better person than her. Now dead in the show thanks to Cersei's stupidity. He commits suicide after Cersei gets her revenge via killing his wife, god-father, great-uncle, and all his religious friends via blowing up the ASOIAF equivalent of St. Peter's Basilica.
** Mycella Baratheon: Princess, and Cersei and "Robert's" second oldest child. She had her face fucked up because of Arianne Martell's amateur intrigues, which overlapped with poor planning, general stupidity, and another guy's backstabbing. Ten years old. Dead in the show, but alive in the books though missing an ear. Before the maiming, she was quite decent and non-evil. Who knows how she'll turn out now with half of her face cut off. Also prophesied to die before Cersei. Also, the readership all got on George's balls for maiming this girl, mostly because it was a sign that he had run out of ideas and was basically just milking diabolus ex machina ([[Just As Planned|or that's what he wants us to think]]). In the show she had a crush on Oberyn's surviving nephew, but was killed by Elia in revenge for Oberyn's death. </div></div>

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'''House Baratheon'''

''"Ours is the Fury"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Ascended to the iron throne after a successful rebellion. Produces no less than three claimants to the succession, each one vey different from the other. Technically a cadet branch of House Targaryen as their founder Orys was allegedly a Targaryen bastard, who took the original Storm Kings (House Durrandon) deer sigil after killing the last one and fucking his only child Argella and then 200 odd years later, King Egg's daughter married their grandfather, they're pretty much the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Plantagenet House of Plantegenet].
* Robert Baratheon, ''The Usurper'': Fat, old, former badass who led the rebellion, and now the king who married Cersei Lannister. Then he fucked a bunch of other women and had lots of illegitimate kids. He was killed while mixing boar hunting and drinking, but if this death was planned or not is uncertain. On the surface, a king with a thing for easy laughs and partying, right underneath the surface he's irresponsible and leaves the actual ruling of a nation to his staff, deeper under the surface he's pretty much a sad, lonely old bro who would rather not have been king. Comparable to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_IV_of_England Edward IV], in that both were powerfully built military geniuses who overthrew the existing monarchy and later succumbed to an unhealthy lifestyle.
* Stannis '''The Mannis''' Baratheon: Robert's younger brother, all-around badass who swings between [[Lawful Stupid]] (moreso in the show than the books) and [[gets shit done|getting shit done]]. Belives so strongly in the rule of law that he feels compelled to take the Iron Throne for miself despite wanting nothing to do with it. Is advised by a priestess of the God of light, Melisandre, and a lowborn smuggler named Davos Seaworth (Stannis let him choose his heraldry).
** Shireen Baratheon: Stannis's kid daughter. Sweet, charming, and intelligent little lady who was left with a deformity on her face from a disease called greyscale. Teaches Davos how to read, and is probably the most innocent person in the series alongside Tommen, Mycella and a few others. Being the grim and dark universe A Song of Ice and Fire is, however, this means that she's likely going to end up becoming fuel for a vicious fire god. In the show she does, but in the books she is safe and sound since Stannis isn't stupid enough to bring him with her while campaigning. His wife, on the other hand, being such an idiotic fanatical pyromaniac...well, her odds aren't exactly looking that great.
* Renly Baratheon, ''That Gay Guy'': Robert and Stannis's youngest brother. Took Loras Tyrell (a.k.a. Knight of Flowers, Pretty Boy, etc.) as his lover. Decided he was better suited to be king, though the bizarre and outdated laws of the land stated Stannis was next in line (though Joffrey and then Tommen were first since they were [[Pretend|officially]] Bobby B's legitimate kids). Was hugely popular since he had Robert's charisma, which led to him getting the most support, but he lacked Stannis's conviction and devotion to the duty of actually doing the work of a king, or even Robert's ability to wage war. Killed by Melisandre with some "help" by Stannis ''The Mannis'' for trying to steal his crown, though in the books Stannis may not have been completely aware of the role he played in Renly's death. He's basically [[That Guy]] of ASOIAF, since quite a lot of shit is his fault, indirectly or otherwise. </div></div>

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'''House Tully'''

''"Family, Duty, Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> Lords of the central river lands. Being the obligatory central nation they spend a lot of the series being fought over like a cake in between fat kids. Basically Poland/Netherlands, given they have so many rivers and how hard they've been fucked over.
*Edmure Tully: Basically the SoIaF universe's eternal butt monkey (because he happens to be a decent fucking person). A useless ponce with a dense streak a mile wide and a bad habit of bragging about things he shouldn't be proud of. It took hanging in a stockade for a few months to make him experience some growth. When Jaime was brought in to unfuck the situation and end the siege at Tully's house in Riverrun, Jaime's "negotiation" pressured him into convincing his house into surrendering, but he made sure [[Troll|that Brynden got out first]]. Currently spending his days at the Lannister house as a hostage to make sure that the Tully's don't try to ruin the situation again.
*Brynden Tully ''the Blackfish'': He didn't catch the memo that he was part of the joke faction, and proceeds to spend the entire series fucking Lannister shit up and generally being a boss. Thought to be the black sheep in a family of fish (thus "Blackfish", geddit?). Ended up holed up in Riverrun, and got the fuck out right before the end of the siege ended so that the Lannisters couldn't dick him over as a prisoner (or so he can keep dicking them over before he became a prisoner). Also widely accepted by the fans to be a closeted homosexual. In the HBO show he gets killed when resisting his arrest by Tully forces by order of Edmure. [[Rage|And it happens offscreen.]]</div></div>

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'''House Arryn'''

''"As High as Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Mountain lords turned [[NEET|neurotic shut ins]]. Goes through lords about as quickly as you would expect a castle equipped with a door that opens into empty air. Basically Switzerland/Afghanistan, seeing as how their land is covered by nothing but mountains and constant battles with the local tribes. They were being entertainingly screwed over by Littlefinger until his death.
*Jon Arryn: Only appears posthumously and is the catalyst for the whole plot. The true mastermind behind Robert's Rebellion, was killed by Littlefinger via Lysa when he figured out that Robert's kids are bastards of Cersie and Jaime. His death was blamed on the Lannsters to destabilize Westeros.
*Lysa Arryn: Loli bride turned Lady of the Vale after the Lannisters forcibly retired her husband from life, at least officially. In reality Littlefinger convinced her to poison her husband and blame the Lannisters [[Just As Planned|which pretty much started this whole clusterfuck to begin with]]. A closeted crazy woman who spends the entire series in her castle "the Eyrie" being useless, breastfeeding her own son at age 10, and [[Derp|refusing to help her sister and nephew in the war she and Littlefinger pretty much started]], which may have guaranteed their eventual horrific murders by their enemies until Littlefinger kicks her out the moon door (post-taunting, of course), putting her out of our collective misery. Long live the Lord Protector.
* Robert Arryn: ''Littlefuck'', Lysa's equally mentally unstable son, who still sucks on his mom's tit, and enjoys seeing people "fly" out the moon door to their deaths. He actually seems to be a bit smarter than you would first think and is a really, really good judge of character, except with Sansa. Secretly being poisoned by Littlefinger and Sansa, so she can take over the Vale and North.</div></div>

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'''House Greyjoy'''

''"We Do Not Sow"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Awesome|A house founded by Cthulhu-worshipping Norscans]]. While not actual Vikings in any sense of the word, there is little other way to describe them. They live on some islands and almost thier entire culture is based around raiding.
*Balon Greyjoy: Asshole dad, crappy ruler and general shithead who rebelled against Robert Baratheon and failed miserably. All of his sons were killed, except for Theon, who was taken as a hostage to ensure his good behavior. Despite being in a position to join either the Lannisters or the Starks during the War of Five Kings and thereby get whatever he wanted from either (independence and the North, or independence and Casterly Rock, respectively), he does the absolute stupidest thing possible and declares himself independent without support from anyone, attacking the North and the rest of Westeros, thereby virtually guaranteeing that he'll be on the receiving end of another onesided battle. Never got that far, though, since he fell off a bridge during a storm.
*Victarion Greyjoy: Admiral of the Iron Fleet. [[Gets shit done]] while wearing [[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Lokhir Fellhearts]] armor during boarding actions. Does it for vengeance and the lulz. Worships both R'hllor and the Drowned God. For all his badassery, is far too stupid to realize that his black Red Priest sidekick's constant rambling about his "great destiny" is inevitably going to end in his burning to death on a sacrificial pyre. Said Red Priest impressed Victarion by turning his infected arm into a super-strong volcano arm. Seriously.
*Aeron Greyjoy ''Damphair'': A priestly Alan Moore who drank seawater. Once a fun-loving party animal, he nearly drowned during the Greyjoy Rebellion, and became a dour and devout priest of the Ironborn [[Cthulhu]] religion. Confirmed to have been raped by Euron when they were kids. Planned to overthrow Euron who bribed and manipulated his way into becoming king of the Ironborn. [[Grimdark|Was captured by Euron and tortured to try and make him renounce his faith. Later Euron tied Aeron, naked, to the prow of Euron's ship alongside Euron's tortured, pregnant former lover]]. He tried to console her by saying their suffering will end in underwater Valhalla, [[Awesome|showing Euron failed to make him deny his faith]].
*Theon Greyjoy: Son of the Lord/King of the Iron Islands. Had the personality of a stereotypical high school jock, being an excellent archer and proud of it plus a womanizer. He was given to Ned Stark by his father after Balon failed to successfully rebel against Robert Baratheon. Swore an oath to Robb, but then ditched him out of a desperate need to please his father. Ends up called Reek and acts as the personal slave of Ramsay Bolton after Ramsay puts him through horrific torture to turn him into Reek. Rescued by his sister, but the psychological trauma meant it took awhile before he could stop calling himself Reek and start getting back to normal.
* Asha Greyjoy: Theon's older sister and a commander of some renown, quite a feat with almost every man on the Iron Islands except her father either trying to get in her pants or tell her to stop playing around and go do some actual women's work before she kicked enough ass that they respected her. Rescues Theon after he escapes Ramsay but then loses him to Stannis.
*Euron Greyjoy ''Crow's Eye'': A sick fuck pirate sorcerer. Every member of his crew is a mute, because Euron ripped all their tongues out. He also has his sons from his lovers and victims as crewmembers. Uses an eyepatch to conceal his red right hand, a pitch-black eye. Raped his brother Victarion's wife so he'd have to kill her. Raped his younger brother Aeron. Also showed back up in the Iron Islands the day after Balon died, despite having been raping and pillaging in Essos before that, which is suspicious as fuck. Now the new Iron King. Plans to conquer Westeros, and has some unknown plan to deal with Daenerys. Revealed to be [[What|an anti-religious fellow with a god complex]], [[Grimdark|whose hobbies include torturing priests and assorted clergymen to try and make them give up their faith]]. He also [[Grimdark|cut out the tongue of the latest woman he impregnated and strapped her naked to the front of his ship to die alongside his priest brother]]. </div></div>

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'''House Tyrell'''

''"Growing Strong"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Lords of Highgarden and backstabbers par-excellence and owners of a lot of fertile land. Unlike the current lot of Lannisters they understand the value of good PR, balancing ruthlessness with being somewhat amicable and not being stuck-up on honor. They are [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Tudor House of Tudor] with the serial numbers filed off.
*Mace "The Ace" Tyrell: Lord of Highgarden. Massively fat and overweight, while being stupid, overreaching and constantly mocked by everyone else, he's otherwise known as a friendly man, a good Lord when it comes to management and a good father; unfortunately this isn't enough to save a man in the Game of Thrones. Gets killed with the rest of the noble houses when Cersei blows up the House of the Septon.
*Olenna Tyrell: The brains behind House Tyrell's schemes. Known as the ''Queen of Thorns'' for being an outspoken, prickly and venomous old lady. Schemed with Littlefinger to have Joffrey killed, but she carried it out with compressed powder "gems" that poisoned his wine. Now she keeps her family in line and is hailed as a more progressive version of Tywin. Became fan faourite when she shut up the Sand Snakes.
*Willas Tyrell: Mace Tyrell's eldest son and heir, crippled at a very young age when jousting against Oberyn Martell. Probably one of the most pleasant and sensible characters in the series, which might explain why he's yet to make an appearance. Very fond of breeding animals, especially horses.
*Garlan Tyrell ''The Gallant'': Second-born son. Badass extraordinaire considered one of the best swords in Westeros, and one of the few people kind to Tyrion. Trains for real combat (often against multiple opponents by himself) unlike Loras, who's a tourney fighter. Single-handed wrecks many notable knights fighting for Stannis during the War of The Five Kings. And he is the only person other than Tywin to put Joffrey in his place, at his own wedding. Sadly no POV chapter yet and omitted from the TV series (Loras takes credit for his deeds).
*Loras Tyrell ''The Knight of Flowers'': The Tyrell who appears most in the series. Considered to be an example of the perfect knight, despite his youth. Is secretly Renly's gay lover and conspired to take the throne with him and his sister. Ends up tortured by religious extremist The Sparrow then dies when Cersei blows up the Septon.
*Margaery Tyrell: The would-be Queen of Westeros, she has married, in order, Renly Baratheon (gay), Joffrey Baratheon (evil), and Tommen Baratheon (8 years old) and has been crowned as queen three times. While she is nice she is capable of manipulation and uses sex to control Tommen Baratheon. Was arrested by the resident Chamber Militant The Sparrow and turned to religion in an attempt to save herself; ended up getting killed when Cersei blew up the Septon .
</div></div>

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'''House Bolton'''

''"Our Blades Are Sharp"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Lawful Evil northern house made of [[Grimdark]], and the Starks' most important vassal. Their sigil is a flayed man and their castle is called [[Dwarf Fortress|The Dreadfort]], which shows how stupid the Starks were for allying with them.
*Roose Bolton, ''The 'Leech Lord'': A sociopathic health nut who's called the Leech Lord because he gets leeched regularly believing they get rid of bad blood. Second-most powerful Lord in the North with ambitions to depose the Starks. The Starks being unable to think like crafty people and blinded by honor this doesn't prove too difficult. He gets his wish when he stabs Robb Stark in the back, at his uncle's wedding no less, and has anyone associated with Robb killed. He then makes over Winterfell in his bloody image, and is currently trolling Stannis. Believes in the abolished practice of "[[Rape|Droit du seigneur]]" (a tradition that allowed a lord to have sex with subordinate women, whether they wanted to or not) and killed a man for trying to hide his wife from Roose. Belived that he and his son could be as evil as they wanted as long as no one found out. Killed by Ramsey in the show, which Ramsey tried to cover with a lie despite the witnesses to his actions.
*Ramsay Snow/Bolton: The bastard son of Roose Bolton and a woman he raped, the posterchild of Stupid Evil. Will fuck up anyone who points out his illegitimate heritage though now he's legally recognized as a Bolton. [[Dark Eldar|Loves to torture and kill people openly for the lulz]], such as Theon Greyjoy, who he crippled, knocked his teeth out and castrated too. He then sent the severed appendage to the forshortened Theon's dad in a cutesy box with a letter mockingly detailing his evilness. Also has a pack of hunting dogs he names after women he hunts, rapes and kills. Married a fake Arya Stark and regularly mistreats her, including forced bestiality. Not a fun guy to be around. Only reason he's gotten away with it for so long (as pointed out by hi father) is becaus enoone is strong enough to stand up to him yet, but when they are he's going to be killed. In the show he killed his father with a knife, fed his stepmother and newborn half-brother to his dogs. In the show the consequences of his actions catch up with him when Jon Snow shows up with an army capable of threatening him, and after a surprise reinforcement from Littlefinger and his own fucked up teamkilling, the Starks crush the Bolton army, forcing Ramsay to flee back to Winterfell. Despite this the gate is smashed down, he is disarmed, beaten rather brutally and detained to await trial. Before the trail Sansa sets his dogs on him, which he had deliberately starved so they would eat people. Apparently they found him quite tasty.</div></div>

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'''House Martell'''

''"Unbowed Unbent Unbroken"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Desert dwelling survivalists who pride themselves on having never been conquered by the Tagaryen dynasty (though they later married in). Moorish Spaniards, kinda.
*Doran Martell: Lord of Sunspear and of royal descent. Still mad at the the Lannisters about that whole "murdered-my-sister-and-infant-niece thing". Playing the longest of long games with Varys while trying to keep the rest of his psychotic family members in check. Wheelchair bound due to his gout.
*Arianne Martell: One of GRRM's characters who seems to exists soley to fuck everything up at the worst conceivable moment. Still hot as Dornish girls come.
*Oberyn Martell ''The Viper of Dorne'': Doran Martell's brother, a bisexual swinger, former mercenary, and a drunkard. His girlfriend is a spectacularly beautiful named Ellaria Sand and he has many children, mostly daughters, collectively called "The Sand Snakes". Crippled the Tyrell heir in a fight, causing a rift between the two houses (despite this, is actually best mates with the aforementioned heir due to Willas Tyrell being straight up the nicest and most balanced man in the series). Known for poisoning his weapons, as well as his battle-cry. Died from a mutual kill with Gregor Clegane crushing his skull in rather graphically, avenging his sister Elia who Gregor had raped and murdered. Though it's probably a win for Oberyn, since he got Clegane with a horribly painful and slow-acting venom which stretched his death over days or even weeks, during which time he was ruthlessly experimented upon by a mad scientist.
*Quentyn Martell: Didn't realize what series he was in, poor bastard. A member of house Martell, sent to marry Daenerys to secure an alliance between the families, since the original marriage plan won't work with Viserys dead. Leaves Westeros and goes all the way to the city of Meereen to marry her, but he's too late, as she marries the Meereenese noble Hizdahr, and not her type. Tries to tame two of her dragons to impress her; he gets horribly burnt and later dies in agony when his attempt goes horribly wrong. </div></div>

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'''Night's Watch'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Night's Watch are an apolitical force in charge of manning The Wall, a giant ice wall that separates the relative tranquility of the south from the Lovecraftian fucked-up-itude of the true north. They are chronically undermanned and undersupplied since nobody believes their stories of a barbarian army or the impending zombie apocalypse. Basically everybody else thinks they're in a game of [[Diplomacy]] and the Night's Watch are the only ones who realize they're actually in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]], though it's been so long since the last snow elf invasion that even they had forgotten about the undead hordes and focused too much on barbarians.
*Jeor Mormont, ''The Old Bear'': Lord Commander of the Nights Watch at the start of the series. Sees Jon Snow as something of a second son (since his own son Jorah was exiled for enslaving and refused to take the black for his crimes). Leads a ranging north of the Wall to investigate reports that the Others have returned. Ends up killed during a mutiny of survivors after the Others wiped out most of his force.
*Alliser Thorne: Prick of a knight who was favorite to be the next Watch Commander, but was passed over by Jon Snow. Unable to accept Jon Snow letting the Wildlings live on the other side of the wall in an alliance against the zombie hordes he staged a coup against Jon. It failed because Jon was brought back to life. He is now dead, having been executed for his treason by Jon Snow.
*Aemon Targaryen: Maester of the Citadel at Castle Black. Despite being the third born son of King Maekar I Targaryen, he declined the right to sit on the Iron Throne. One of the few people in the series to die of old age, at 102.
*Samwell Tarly, ''The Slayer'': Fat bookworm who was forced to take the black after his father Randyl threatened to murder him for being unmanly. Jon Snow's best friend among the Night's Watch, and knows everything because he "read it in a book". Despite being a self professed coward, Sam became the first person in thousands of years to slay an Other with an obsidian dagger. George Martin himself said Sam's based on Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings.
*Eddison Tollett, ''Dolorous Edd'': Probably the most badass member of the Night's Watch. Responds to situations by making sarcastic jokes about them, and known for being a grim motherfucker in a setting of grim motherfuckers. [[Awesome|The new Lord Commander]] while Jon was dead, but gave the title back to Jon when he was brought back to life. </div></div>

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'''Wildings'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Groups of nomadic hunter gatherer tribes who live north of the Wall. Mostly First Men by blood, they have been heading toward the Wall for the past decade with the reputed reemergence of the Others. Nomadic, aggressive, and very much believing in "might makes right", they do not get along with anyone south of The Wall since they view them as "Kneeling weaklings".
*Mance Rayder, ''The King Beyond The Wall'': A Wilding orphan who was taken in by the Night's Watch, he became their best Ranger before he deserted to join his people. He united the Wildings and lead them south to escape the Others. Also a trained bard, but that was not enough to save him from death.
*Tormund Giantsbane: Claims to have a ten inch penis, and invites his enemies to use their mouths if they want to clean it. Cool as fuck old guy who [[Furry|fucks mother-bears]] in his free time. Tough as nails, who preaches the merits of using one's cock for everything.
*Ygritte: Wilding woman who Jon Snow ends up falling for. This being ''A Song of Ice and Fire'', she ends up dying because her world view is not compatible with Jon's.
*Craster: A sick bastard, formerly a member of the Night's Watch. [[Grimdark|Has lots of daughters who he marries and fucks them regularly, giving him more children. Girls grow up to become more wives, boys get sacrificed to the Others]]. This keeps them at bay and that sanctuary is why the Night Watch barely tolerate him. Fortunately, he's been killed off the story. </div></div>

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'''House Frey'''

''"We Stand Together"''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> House of weasels who are always grumpy and have a thing for over reacting to perceived slights. Wouldn't be that important except for the fact that they own the only bridge over a strategically important river, and regularly extort anyone attempting to cross it.

*Walder Frey: The ancient, terrible, ornery old man in charge of the Twins. Hates everyone for "looking down on him", and will readily betray an important ally for immediate gain, or if he feels he has been slighted in some minor way. His descendants are literally so numerous that no one except GRRM himself have been able to count them all, so we aren't even going to attempt it. Now dead in the show due to getting his throat slit by a vengeful Arya after she serves him two of his sons as meat pies. </div></div>

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'''Commoners, Knights, and Petty Lords'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Basically any character not associated with any of the Great Houses.
* Varys, ''The Spider'': The eunuch spymaster of Westeros. You can't take a shit in the Seven Kingdoms without Varys finding out where, when, and how watery or dry it was. He does this through paid informants and his "litte birds": A spy network of children who sneak through the castle's passage ways and air flues to eavesdrop on everyone. Stabs everyone in the back because he's actually trying to bring the Targaryens back in order to strengthen the realm.
* Petyr Baelish, ''Littlefinger'': The master of coin (the ASOIAF equivalent of a treasurer). A dangerous manipulator who manages to trick and steal his way to positions of lordship and wealth because no one takes him seriously, and stabs all the Lannisters in the back when they become inconvenient. As a child he wanted Catelyn Stark, and was tricked into thinking she wanted him when her sister Lysa fucked him while he was drunk. Challenged Catelyn's betrothed Brandon Stark, Ned's older brother who was murdered by Aerys, for her hand in marriage and got his ass kicked because he was a small skinny boy and Brandon Stark was a big strapping man, making that his start of darkness. The guy responsible, directly or indirectly, for the War of the Five Kings because he was the mastermind behind poisoning Jon Arryn, the capture and execution of Ned Stark, feeding several half-truths to Catelyn to motivate her to arrest Tyrion, and eventually Joffrey's death by having Dontos and Olenna Tyrell carry out the plan to kill Joffrey and letting Tyrion take the fall; but no one in the story knows this, not even Varys. People think he can pull gold out of thin air, but he's really been buying debt while letting Robert Barratheon's extravagances and Cersei's dipshittery pull the country into a serious debt of its own. So he's destroying Westeros all because he couldn't have Catelyn as his girlfriend, though he changed his focus to her daughter Sansa now, making him a paedophile. Hasn't yet got his comeuppance in the books, but is curently dead in the show after he was outgamitted by Sansa and killed by Aryn. According to GRRM he's based on the title character from the Great Gatsby.
*Gregor Clegane, ''The Mountain'': A 7' 8" 400 pound mass of testosterone, muscles and murderous hate, Gregor is Tywin Lannister's top muscle. Hobbies include rape, arson, murder, and random torture. He played an important part in destroying the Tagaryens by killing a couple of Aerys's kids in rather brutal fashion, then raping and murdering his wife. Spends a few novels doing Tywin's dirty work before a Trial by Champion leads to him dying after being poisoned by Oberyn Martell. Qyburn later resurrected him as... something... called "Ser Robert Strong", and is now even stronger, less prone to psychotic rages, and is completely obedient.
* Sandor Clegane, ''The Hound'': Younger brother to Gregor Clegane, called the hound because of his hound-face helm, his family's heraldry, and being the king's hired muscle without being a knight. He hates knights due to the hypocrisy of being a professional "noble warrior" but mostly since his monstrous brother is a knight, showing it's not so much of a noble promotion. Terrified of fire after Gregor put his head against a brazier for playing with one of Gregor's old toys when they were children, burning half his face, but he's still the second-strongest person in Westeros. A brutal anti-hero with a soft spot for Sansa, but a better person than his brother. After falling sick from Biter's nasty teeth, he ends up being a silent monk burying people in the Silent Isles.
*Grand Maester Pycelle: A shrewd, dangerous man putting on a "harmless old man act" and a high ranking scholar from the science/medical guild the Maesters. The longest serving member of the King's advisory staff, and is actually Tywin Lannister's biggest lackey. He convinced the Mad King to let Tywin in as Baratheon's armies were marching on the capital, where Tywin proceeded to sack the city and claim it for Robert. Gets his head bashed in by Varys.
* Qyburn: Formerly a maester, who was kicked out of the order for unethical experiments on the living. Introduced as a part of a mercenary company serving Roose Bolton, which should be a red flag. He moves up in the world when he's sent to escort Brienne and Jaime back to Kings landing, and ends with Cersei employing him to replace Pycelle as "science advisor" and eventually Varys's Spymaster. Serves Cersei loyally as long as she lets him indulge his sick experiments, serving as a black magic variety of the court mage. He has resurrected Gregor Clegane as... something.
*Barristan Selmy, ''The Bold'': Knight of the Kingsguard. Which Kingsguard? Take your pick. He's served pretty much every king since Aerys and understandably feels pretty bad about it. Another sad old man who pretty much just wants to die before he Queen Danaerys this time. Even in his old age is considered one of the most dangerous man in Westeros.
*Melisandre, ''The Red Witch'': A priestess of R'hllor, the god of fire. Proclaimed Stannis to be the messiah-king and is doing everything in her power to make sure he wins (considerable given that she can scry and set things on fire with her mind). She'd be pretty bro-tier if her god wasn't so vicious. As it stands she's kind of in the gray. Most of the people she set on fire deserved it, and she hasn't ''succeeded'' in killing any babies yet.
*Jorah Mormont: A knight and son of Jeor Mormont, exiled for trying to sell poachers into slavery and eventually joining the exiles of House Targaryen. He is offered a pardon in exchange for spying on the Targaryens, but ultimately decides to stay with them after falling in love with Danaerys. Despite this she still votes him off the Khalassar after learning he was a spy. He still loves her and follows her in secret, though.
*Davos Seaworth, ''The Onion Knight'': A former smuggler and bannerman to House Baratheon. During Roberts Rebellion he ran a blockade with a cargo of contraband onions to a castle Stannis Baratheon was besieged in. In exchange for for the food he had, Stannis knighted Davos, but Stannis's law-worshiping mindset compelled him to remove four digits from his left hand. Despite this, Davos has served Stannis with unquestioning loyalty, because Stannis knighting him gave his children a future. The fact that Stannis's war for the throne has ended up killing several of his sons hasn't dented his loyalty at all.
*Shae: A former camp follower and Tyrion Lannister's squeeze for most of the story. Fled from an abusive family and became a camp follower to earn a living. Seems to fall in love with Tyrion, but it turns out she's a gold digging bitch. When Tyrion doesn't marry Shae she sells him out to Cersei for a better offer, then fucks Tywin when she realizes Cersei won't keep her promise. Tyrion finds her in his father's bed and kills her for betraying him.
*Bronn: A mercenary who acts as Tyrion's enforcer and personal killer until Cersei outbids him and he he settles down with a little wife and title. Routinely kills knights by exploiting how arrogant and stupid they are even after becoming one himself. Only in it for the money, which he'll happily tell you himself. The only character other than Littlefinger to end every book in a better position than he started it.
* Brienne of Tarth, ''The Beauty'': Surprisingly badass lady knight wannabe (since no women can be knighted), legendarily unattractive but still pretty idealistic despite the shit she gets for her looks, also fate frequently gives her the shit end of the stick, because no matter how hard she tries to finish her quests, she ends up failing or stuff happens that make it impossible. Secretly crushes on Renly and unaware he's gay. After he dies, Brienne switches her loyalty to Catelyn and helps her bring Jaime to King's Landing as Tyrion promised Sansa's return in exchange for Jaime. She later developed a crush on Jaime. Things don't go well because Jaime lost his hand and the Red Wedding happened. Next, Jaime sends her out to find and keep Sansa safe to make good on Tyrion's promise, since he isn't the complete dick everyone thinks he is. Brienne ends up getting captured by Cat, now known as Lady Stoneheart and an insane undead, who was going to hang Brienne for working with Jaime.. Brienne was spared at the last moment to capture/manipulate Jaime.
* Lyanna Mormont: A badass ten year old girl who inherits Bear Island after her mother and older sister die horribly in the Riverlands - at least if we are going by the show; in the book, her mother is still alive somewhere in the Neck and her older sister Alysanne is de-facto head of House Mormont. Her activities include pimp-slapping bitches, leading men twice as old as her, and being completely loyal to the Starks despite all their misfortunes. [[Awesome|"Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is STARK."]]
* Wyman Manderly, ''Lord Too-Fat-To-Sit-A-Horse'': The Lord of White Harbour and one of the few Northerners who worship the Seven. Fervently loyal to House Stark, he pays lip-service to the Iron Throne to mask a plan to restore the Starks to power, mostly by destabilising the Frey-Bolton alliance and sending Davos to rescue Rickon Stark from Skagos. His favourite food is lamprey, although he has also developed a taste for Frey Pie. Also a remarkably graceful dancer.
* Jon Umber, ''The Greatjon'': At first he seems to be your stereotypical, boisterous Northern Lord. However, he becomes one of Robb's most loyal supporters, being first to declare him as 'King in the North' after Ned's execution. Had his moment of awesome [[Awesome|when he killed and wounded four Freys at the Red Wedding, all the while being drunk and needing eight additional men to take him down.]]
* Beric Dondarrion, ''The Lightning Lord'': Minor lord who agreed to head an expedition to take out Gregor Clegane. This being Game of Thrones, however, his party is ambushed by the Mountain and is beaten rather badly, and he loses his life in the process. Thanks to his drunken red priest friend, however, he manages to come back not once, but eight times, and each time he comes back, he becomes more powerful, though at the cost of his memory. He now heads an outlaw faction of grimdark Robin Hood types called "The Brotherhood Without Banners", who are dedicated to punishing those who abuse and mistreat the smallfolk. Ironically, he's one of the few book characters to have died (permanently) in the books but remain alive in the show.
* Thoros of Myr: Aforementioned drunken priest who is dedicated to R'hllor, though at first he doesn't really give a rat's ass about the Red God, as he prefers to party it up with wine and women, but after he 'accidentally' resurrects Beric, he becomes quite serious about his religion and vows to curb his excesses in drinking. Dies on a mission beyond the wall to capture a wight (show-version)
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'''The Free Cities'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Nine city states to the West of Westeros, for the most part the old colonies of the Valaryian Freehold. Mostly they are ruled by Merchant Princes. They look down on the Westerosi for being a bunch of up jumped backwards war mongering morons a few silverware sets and maesters away from absolute barbarism. In turn the Westerosi look down on the Free Cities as being money grubbing effete cowards ruled by cheesemongers who use bribery, tall walls and dirty tricks to get ahead in the world.

* Illyrio Mopatis: A rich fat bastard and a Magester of Pentos. Old buddies with Varys and a bigtime schemer.
* The Faceless Men: A cult of assassins who worship The Many Faced God of death based in the free city of Braavos that give up personal idenity.
* Xaro Xhoan Daxos: One of the thirteen leaders of the city of Qarth. A flamboyant, languid rich man who look after Daenerys while she stays in Qarth and gives her many gifts. He wants her dragons as much as anyone else and even tries to marry her despite his homosexual tendencies. He stops wanting the dragons later in the book series after seeing [[RIP AND TEAR|their work in Astapor]], and no longer wants her around as her anti-slavery stance is hampering his wealth, so he offers Daenerys ships to leave the area and declares war on her when she refuses. In the show he's heterosexual, helps steal her dragons, fucks one of her handmaidens and gets locked in a vault for conspiring to have her killed. He's also black in the show when his nationality in the books isn't specified (cue Unfortunate Implications).
* Syrio Forel: The former First Sword of Braavos (aka the ruler's personal bodyguard) and later Arya's mentor in King's Landing. He teaches her the way of Braavosi fencing, called "Water Dancing", and sacrifices himself to save her from Lannister thugs, taking down at least six of them with him with a wooden sword. May have inadvertently set her on the path of becoming a badass assassin by telling her of his belief in the God of Death.

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'''The Dothraki'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Mongols|Mongol]] style horse people who live in a country of endless grass plains referred to by others as the Dothraki sea. They only have one city, called Vaes Dothrak, which is less of a city and more of a place they all meet when important things have to be discussed. Have traits borrowed from several cultures, including Mongols and Native Americans. They fear the ocean because of it's size and the fact that horses won't drink from it, calling it the "poison water".

* Khal Drogo: An expy of Genghis Khan. Leads the largest Khalassar among the Dothraki. Despite being a barbarian warlord Drogo is surprisingly intelligent and treats Daenerys well. After an assassin tries to kill her he promises to conquer Westeros for her and their unborn son, and immediately starts raiding towns for slaves and ships. At one town he gets cut in a leadership challenge and Daenerys gets a captive wise woman to heal him. However, the woman hates him because his tribe destroyed her hometown, raped/slaughtered or enslaved her friends and raped her three times so she curses him to become catatonic (along with killing his unborn son), leading a devastated Daenerys to perform an arguable mercy kill by smothering him with a pillow. After, she burns herself, her stillborn child and the wise woman on his funeral pyre, Daenerys survives and it brings her dragons to life. GRRM named Drogo after [[The Lord of the Rings|Frodo's father]].
* Daenerys' handmaidens.
** Doreah: Daemerys' handmaiden and a wedding gift from Illyrio. A woman from Lysene brought by her brother to teach her how to pleasure a man. In the book she dies of fever and starvation crossing a desert, in the TV show she betrays Daenerys for [[Salamanders|Xaro's BBC]] and gets locked in a vault to starve to death.
** Irri: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches Daenerys how to ride a horse. [[PROMOTIONS|Also pleasures Daenerys twice after catching her masturbating once]], yet this canonical girl-on-girl action was left out of the show. The character was even killed off there when she survived in the books, because her actress' Visa had died.
** Jhiqui: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches her the Dothraki language and squabbles with Irri over wanting one of Daenerys' bodyguards when he becomes a badass. Also dies in the TV show while staying alive so far in the books.

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'''Slavers Bay'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">A civilization of [[Stupid Evil]] slavers. The remains of a previous civilization that was once the big powerful empire thanks to having phalanxes of obedient, pain-resistant soldiers which Valaryia conquered a long while ago because phalanxes don't do too well against flying, fire breathing dragons. They are ruled by wealthy slave mongers who buy slaves, train them up to do specific things and generally be a bunch of stuck up, decadent, puppy-eating (literally) assholes. Basically a civilization so repugnant even most hippies will be cheering when Dany decides to conquer them.

* The Unsullied: Eunuch phalanx fighting slave soldiers trained the spartan way to produce totally obedient infantry that never break ranks. They also don't feel pain due to drinking a special drink daily and each one has to take a new name from the name box each day so they can't develop a sense of identity. At least until Dany "bought" the lot of them, had them sack the city which trained them and freed them.
* Grey Worm: The Unsullied Commander and a no-nonsense badass. When given a chance to take a new name he keeps his slave name because it's the name he had when freed so he considers it lucky.
* Strong Belwas: A fat but skilled eunuch gladiator. Loves liver and onions and referring to himself in the third person. Travelling companion/guide of Ser Barristan. Has an awesome scene where he beats the champion of Meereen then mocks the Meereenese by taking a shit in their direction and wiping his ass on their dead champion's cloak. Also saves Daenerys from eating poisoned sweets. [[FAIL|Left out of the show]].
* Daario Nahris: A Tyroshi mercenary captain who dyes his hair blue. Betrays his fellow commanders for Daenerys because he loves her as a queen. Fortunately for him Daenerys loves him back and they pursue a romance for a time, though she doesn't marry him as she's still otherwise smart enough to know she has to save herself for political marriage. Goes to Yunkai as a hostage in the war on Meereen. Also potentially a shapeshifter, if the show is to be believed.

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'''The Others'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">A mysterious race from beyond the Wall, known to [[newfag|HBO fans]] as "the White Walkers". Can be described as ice demons/snow elves with necromancy. Eight thousand years ago, they invaded Westeros during a decades long winter known as "the Long Night". With an army of undead warriors, they proceeded to fuck Westeros up every which way to [[Sunday]] before the locals finally drove them out, established the Night's Watch, and built the Wall to keep them out. Like all fantasy aspects of ASOIF, they are very cliched. In the TV series, it's revealed that they were created from human captives by "The Children", the pseudo-[[Elf]] race that lived in Westeros before humanity arrived, to try and wipe out humans who were driving them extinct. Instead, things went disastrously wrong and now they just want to kill everything for unknown reasons.
* Night's King: A long time ago, when the Night's Watch was just barely getting set up, it's Lord Commander, the thirteenth in line, decided to climb over the Wall and explore some. While in the woods to the north of the Wall, he found a beautiful Other female. He fell in love with her, had sex with her on top of the Wall, which somehow changed him into an albino version of [[Star Wars|Darth Maul]], and set himself up as King of the Wall, making everyone in the Watch his slaves. Naturally, this doesn't sit to well with the Starks and the Wildlings, and so they band together to free the Watch and kick his ass, which they manage to do successfully. Now everyone thinks him as dead or a myth, but HBO accidentally spoiled that he was alive and well, turning infant human boys into new White Walkers. Also, he can apparently raise up entire legions of undead, just by raising his arms and looking completely smug about it; unlike regular Others, who can just raise up maybe a village at most. Given that he's the resident [[BBEG|Dark Lord]] of the series, it makes sense that he can take down a dragon with seemingly little effort (a simple throw of his spear), and resurrect it to be his personal steed. Time will tell if he can be defeated by the heroes, or if he'll actually succeed in exterminating all the humans in Westeros and the rest of the world and bring on an eternal winter.

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'''Gods and their followers'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> The world of ASOIAF has various religions and faiths abound, just like in real life. Similarly, they range between fucking awesome to utterly useless.

*The Seven: At first seem content to sit on their asses while the mortals die, and generally not doing much. Considered seven in one with male and female members. The gods of the Faith of the Seven, the Catholic Church stand in, which gets both sympathetic and unsympathetic characters associated with it. Have a Pope equivalent called a High Septon.
** High Septon 1: A fat greedy man who used the position for personal gain. He ended up being [[Grimdark|torn apart in a riot]], because the people resented that he had enough food to get fat while they were starving.
** High Septon 2: Successor of High Septon 1. Chosen by Tyrion so the Faith would be loyal to the Lannisters. Only slightly corrupt as he's a pro-Lannister yes-man. Murdered on Cersei's order in the book, while in the show he's a whoremonger who gets deposed by the Sparrows (see below)
** High Septon 3/The High Sparrow: Successor of High Septon 2. After the second High Septon died, the smallfolk burst into the meeting to pick a successsor and ordered their chosen candidate to be put in charge. He'd been a wandering preacher beforehand, and his feet were dark and gnarled from lots of walking. When he reaches the position he starts [[gets shit done|getting things done]]. Since he was appointed by smallfolk nicknamed Sparrows, he's given the moniker "The High Sparrow". The nobility underestimate him, either due to having other matters or a general disregard for the religious, but he turns out to be smart, well-meaning and somewhat ruthless. Under the High Sparrow, he and the other clergymen sell their fancy clothes and decorations [[Noblebright|replacing them with simple wool tunics, using the money to buy food and clothes for the poor in King's Landing]]. He also has their Knights-Templar-equivalent reformed to [[Inquisition|protect the faithful and help them root out]] [[Heresy|heresy]] and sin. He also outwits Cersei and has her arrested and tried for all her evil deeds. Cersei's scheming does lead to Margaery's arrest and she confesses to some crimes while concealing others, leading to Cersei taking a nude walk of penance in front of the entire city. After this he somewhat reined in the nobles' politicking to actually look after the commoners and the Faith, though this does make some enemies. In the show, they're [[Skub|retconned]] into [[Fail|a band of fanatics who are pretty much every negative stereotype about religion]]. While they do arrest Margaery like in the books, during the trial most of the Faith, including the High Sparrow himself, get blown to kingdom come when Cersei has her agents ignite a massive amount of magical napalm underneath the Great Sept.
* Old Gods: Native American/Druid/nature spirits that reside in places called godswoods. They can kick some serious ass, but their powers are limited to everything north of the Neck. Communicate through the trees. For some reason, Martin claims they're based off the Norse Gods. Probably has to do with the way the Vikings made sacrifices to their gods, by hanging them in Ash trees, a symbol for the World Tree Yggrasil. The Weirwood trees are sacred to the followers of the Old Gods in a similar way.
* R'hllor: The god of fire and light. So far the only one who is actually shown to get shit done asides from Death. Has a nasty habit for burning heretics, though. Some people think that R'hllor is supposed to be a stand-in for Islam, but GRRM said this faith is roughly based upon Zoroastrianism, and there's a bit of Dualism thrown in. His nemesis is The Great Other: the god of cold and darkness. Supposedly the leader of the Others, and prophesied to be defeated by "The Azor Ahai". Whether this is before or after he destroys the world is unknown. Their chosen one, or messianic figure, is Azor Ahai/The Prince That Was Promised: a guy/girl who is the prophesied warrior who will fight with the Great Other/Night's King during the Apocalypse. Interestingly enough, the prophecy may not refer to a single person, but three (Jon, Tyrion/Bran, and Daenerys). Supposedly, one of these three will also receive an awesome flaming sword called "Lightbringer".
* Him of Many Faces: The god of the Dead of the religion whose followers are the Faceless Assassins. According to his cult of assassins, whom Arya joins, every other god is him in a different form and he requires his assassins to utterly forget their past identities in service to him. Has a heyday during the Battle of King's Landing and the Red Wedding.
* Drowned God: Cthulhu combined with Odin. Runs an underwater Valhalla were all Ironborn go whey they either died in a manly way or drowned at sea.

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==The TV Show==
[[image:KnightsWhoSayFuck.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Yeah, pretty much.]]
After the first three books became hits, many Hollywood producers and directors had came to the sadistic neckbeard, asking him about making a movie adaptation. At first, he was reluctant, at best, due to the fact that a whole lot of his content would've been cut out to be fit into a movie trilogy (see the Lord of the Rings live action films). Then, a couple of dudes, David Benioff and D.B Weiss, decided to contact him, and asked him at a local restaurant about turning ASOIAF into a Television show produced by HBO, the top-rated soft-core porno channel. The story goes that George, before giving them his consent, ask them a very specific question (Who is Jon Snow's mother?). Satisfied with the response they gave, he gave them permission to start work on the show, which would be titled after the first book, ''Game of Thrones''.

The television show casts several well known performers, such as Sean Bean as Eddard, Peter Dinklage as Tyrion, Lena Heady as Cersei, and Charles Dance as Tywin. They have also cast some comparatively less well-known actors and even ones new to cinema, such as Sophie Turner (Sansa), Maisie Williams (Arya), Kit Harrington (Jon), Ian Rheon (Ramsay), Alfie Allen (Theon), and Richard Madden (Robb).

'''TL;DR'''

Producers D&D-style change characters and railroad the plot at whim, the tits and ultraviolence spigot is open even wider than the books and most scenes are made for the actors to show off their skills at making their signature angry/murder/brooding/etc faces.

Thus, book snobs seem to think that every episode post season 3 is nothing more than Emmy-bait. Regardless, Kit Harrington still [[Fail|doesn't have an Emmy]].

==GRRM and [[Your Dudes]]==
Want to make your own ASoIF setting for a role playing game? Well, readers have enough room to fantasize about their own minor noble House (or kingdom during the Age of the Hundred Kingdoms).

A good example of what you could do is the House from [[/v/|Tell-tale's]] "Game of Thrones" vidyagaem, House Forrester. Its comes complete with petty lord rivals, a cool keep, and a family sword. So the way it works for them is:

House Forrester (lords of a spot in the Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Glover (overall lords of the entire Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Stark (rulers of the North).

There's also an actual tie-in tabletop RPG now, which uses its own system and looks kind of like [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]].

==Games==
[[image:AGot-2nd-ed-cardfan.png|thumb|250px]]
Like any fantasy author who finds themselves unexpectedly in the warm embrace of commercial success Martin quickly licensed the shit out of his setting, spawning everything from resin miniatures to replica great swords. While most of this is worthless junk to foist on [[Neckbeard|obsessive fanboys]] /tg/ has agreed that a few of the games are made of win. The first two are a collectable [[CCG|card game]] put out in 2002 by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] and a [[risk]]-esque board game that followed shortly after in 2003. One of [[White Wolf]]'s subsidiaries also put out a d20 RPG in 2005 but it quickly tanked because, come on, White Wolf. Martin since wrested the rights back and developed a new version with Green Ronin games.

==Books==
*''A Game of Thrones''
*''A Clash of Kings''
*''A Storm of Swords'': Split into 2
*''A Feast for Crows'': half the characters
*''A Dance with Dragons'': split into 2 the first is about the other half of the characters
*''The Winds of Winter'': Most recent rumors say George could have it ready in late 2018. But will he ''really''?
** Nope.
*''A Dream of Spring'' : Unreleased and unlikely to ever be.
*''The Dunk and Egg Series'': A story about a landless hendge knight traveling across Westeros with a Targaryen squire, so he can teach him how not to be an asshole to peasants.

==See Also==
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U7NpSubAJQ Weiner, weiner weiner]

[[category: Literature]]

Vampire

2018-08-01T17:21:32Z

2602:304:B26C:4D20:D33:379:A331:646F: /* Vampires in Modern Fiction */

"A monster I am, lest a monster I wankity wank wank..."

These guys suck. Blood, mostly, but in recent portrayals they've learned there's more to sucking than just sustenance. Vampires were originally people that died and came back as undead, <strike> blood-craving monsters </strike> (Actually, vampires were originally bloated walking corpses animated because they were possessed by a demon that would attempt to eat the hearts of the living and satisfy their OCD by counting grains of rice) or perhaps were infected by another vampire to become one, but now they're an overrated, over-glorified "race" that emo fags love, and at times the entertainment industry circle jerks to. Possibly the most notorious example of the ruination of vampires in contemporary media are the [[Twilight]] vampires from the book/movie series written by [[Stephanie Meyer]], which are less like undead fiends and more like mysterious pretty-boys, who sparkle in the sunlight rather than burning to death, as in older portrayals.

Vampires used to be badass motherfuckers that struck at night and hypnotized you into obedience so they could feed on you and turn you into a zombie, but then emo teens started to pretend that they were vampires until it stopped meaning "Dark Creature of the Night, Here to Devour your Soul", and started meaning [[Fag|"Faggot"]]. Now, vampires are created through the use of make-up, bad poetry, and incense lit to conceal the smell of pot so the vampire kid's parents don't come in and scold them in front of his friends from high school.

If you want vampires in fiction in their original, non-emo bad ass form, [[Vampire Counts|check out]] the [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] game created by [[GW]], or go to Youtube, and search for Jojo's Bizarre Adventure's Dio Brando (ZA WARUDO!) or look up [[Anime|Hellsing Ultimate]]. I mean, FUCK! Also, Team Four Star abridged episode one of Hellsing Ultimate, and had Alucard kill Edward Cullen. You know you want to watch it. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgnIjJexut4 Why aren't you?] Have we offended you in some way?

==History of Vampires==

===Ancient Vampires===
In ancient cultures, there weren't any creatures called "vampires" or any word that roughly translates to "vampire"; however, stories were told of demons and spirits that drank blood or ate flesh. Even the devil was directly associated with the eating of flesh and drinking of blood, and the gods and goddesses of some cultures were credited with these activities.
The Persians were one of the first civilizations to have tales of blood-drinking demons: creatures attempting to drink blood from men were depicted on excavated pottery shards. Ancient Babylonia had tales of the mythical Lilitu, synonymous with and giving rise to Lilith (Hebrew לילית) and her daughters the Lilu from Hebrew demonology. Lilitu was considered a demon and was often depicted as subsisting on the blood of babies. However, the Jewish counterparts were said to feast on both men and women, as well as newborns. The closest this got to the idea of vampires in recent history was that some demons would possess corpses and then use them to drink the blood of people.

===Medieval and European Vampires===
Many of the myths surrounding vampires originated during the medieval period. The 12th century English historians and chroniclers Walter Map and William of Newburgh recorded accounts of revenants, though records in English legends of vampiric beings after this date are scant. These tales are similar to the later folklore widely reported from Eastern Europe in the 18th century and were the basis of the vampire legend that later entered Germany and England, where they were subsequently embellished and popularized.

During the 18th century, there was a frenzy of vampire sightings in Eastern Europe, with frequent stakings and grave diggings to identify and kill the potential revenants; even government officials engaged in the hunting and staking of vampires. Despite being called the Age of Enlightenment, during which most folkloric legends were quelled, the belief in vampires increased dramatically, resulting in a mass hysteria throughout most of Europe. The panic began with an outbreak of alleged vampire attacks in East Prussia in 1721 and in the Habsburg Monarchy from 1725 to 1734, which spread to other localities. Two famous vampire cases, the first to be officially recorded, involved the corpses of Peter Plogojowitz and Arnold Paole from Serbia. Plogojowitz was reported to have died at the age of 62, but allegedly returned after his death asking his son for food. When the son refused, he was found dead the following day. Plogojowitz supposedly returned and attacked some neighbours who died from loss of blood. In the second case, Paole, an ex-soldier turned farmer who allegedly was attacked by a vampire years before, died while haying. After his death, people began to die in the surrounding area and it was widely believed that Paole had returned to prey on the neighbours. Another famous Serbian legend involving vampires concentrates around certain Sava Savanović living in a watermill and killing and drinking blood from millers. The folklore character was later used in a story written by Serbian writer Milovan Glišić and in the Serbian 1973 horror film Leptirica inspired by the story.

The two incidents were well-documented: government officials examined the bodies, wrote case reports, and published books throughout Europe. The hysteria, commonly referred to as the "18th-Century Vampire Controversy", raged for a generation. The problem was exacerbated by rural epidemics of so-claimed vampire attacks, undoubtedly caused by the higher amount of superstition that was present in village communities, with locals digging up bodies and in some cases, staking them. Although many scholars reported during this period that vampires did not exist, and attributed reports to premature burial or rabies, superstitious belief increased. Dom Augustine Calmet, a well-respected French theologian and scholar, put together a comprehensive treatise in 1746, which was ambiguous concerning the existence of vampires. Calmet amassed reports of vampire incidents; numerous readers, including both a critical Voltaire and supportive demonologists, interpreted the treatise as claiming that vampires existed. In his Philosophical Dictionary, Voltaire wrote:

"These vampires were corpses, who went out of their graves at night to suck the blood of the living, either at their throats or stomachs, after which they returned to their cemeteries. The persons so sucked waned, grew pale, and fell into consumption; while the sucking corpses grew fat, got rosy, and enjoyed an excellent appetite. It was in Poland, Hungary, Silesia, Moravia, Austria, and Lorraine, that the dead made this good cheer."

The controversy only ceased when Empress Maria Theresa of Austria sent her personal physician, Gerard van Swieten, to investigate the claims of vampiric entities. He concluded that vampires did not exist and the Empress passed laws prohibiting the opening of graves and desecration of bodies, sounding the end of the vampire epidemics. Despite this condemnation, the vampire lived on in artistic works and in local superstition.

Celtic mythology features the Baobhan Sidhe, which resemble the archetypal modern horror vampire, as they are beautiful women who take the blood of men while "dancing" with them (usually in a murderous fashion), but have to return to their burial mounds before the rise of the sun. There is also the Lennan Sidhe, or Barrow Lover, who is the tamer, more good natured, monogamous style of vampire girlfriend, who inspires her pet artist but also drains him, sometimes driving him into an early grave.

Romanian mythology also contributes heavily to the modern, sociable, attractive notion of vampires, who seem to usually be gingers, and could sometimes pass unnoticed in human society or even procreate or marry; even female vampires could bear offspring. The children are usually fated to become vampires after death. Romanian vampires come in countless varieties, from evil spirits to owls to vampire babes to actual living witches. Romanian vampires potentially have a shot at becoming alive again -- it involves marrying a foreigner, changing their name and leaving the country, however, which sounds a lot less like "becomes human again" and more "sneaks off to bite people elsewhere." YMMV.

===Modern Vampires===
[[Image:M1182225 99060207172 VCVladMain 873x627.jpg|right|thumb|400px|[[Vlad von Carstein]] of [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] fame. He'd mutilate the unholy tard out of [[Gay|Tinkerbell]] [[Twilight|Cullen]]. [[Rip and Tear|AND HOW]].]]
In the late 1800s, Vampires were still widely regarded to be nasty little weirdos like Count Orlok, creeping around in the night looking freakish and completely the opposite of sexy. But then- along came the Hollywood portrayal of Bram Stoker's Dracula from the typical unattractive vampire (he was at least written as ugly; he was a thin elderly man with a hooked nose, pointed ears, blue eyes that went flaming red when he was mad and had hairy palms, though his appearance became more youthful as he fed on blood) to Tod Browning's Dracula film, starring Bela Lugosi's Dracula as a suave lady's man, and the Vampire's descent into sparkly [[Mary Sue|Marty Stu-dom]] began. (Incidentally, vampires only began to burn to death by sunlight with 1922's Nosferatu film. Before this even Dracula himself could walk in broad daylight, though his powers were weakened). [[-4 Str|Lady-types]] developed a metaphorical hard-on for vampires, and vampires supposedly got literal hard-ons for ladies until 1976, when Anne Rice published the first book in her series, ''the Vampire Chronicles'', which established a more... Primal interpretation, wherein Vampires had free will, but all of their needs paled before the all-consuming need for fresh blood to feed upon. This is where we started to see more classical interpretations, where they were sociopaths, gluttons, and sophisticates, all at once.

Discussion of the Vampire mythos and how Vampires began to suck (figuratively) cannot be had without careful analysis of the culture at the time. Vampires, up through the 1980s, had always been associated with gothic horror - it's one of many reasons that there was such a resurgence of Victorian-style fashion amongst the Goth crowd, which admittedly a lot of [[/tg/]] finds [[Promotions|impossibly]] [[/d/|hot]]. Goth culture celebrated Vampire mythos for this very reason; they were a ''worthy'' bit of admirable folklore, the source of many an interesting BBEG, and an inspiration for a lot of things ''in'' Goth culture. This "classical" archetype is what we would see with most Vampire portrayals throughout movies, comic books, television series, and so on during this time.

Sadly, in the early 1990s, cross-contamination by the "Emo" subculture caused this to bottom out in a parasitic fashion - Emo glutted itself on anything it could encounter and claimed that it belonged rightly to it, and Goth subculture, with its established fashion sense and habits, was a natural target. The prevalence of Emo bullshit caused the bulk of the Goth subculture to retreat back to its Victorian roots, but not before Emos had secured Vampires as "their own." Similar would happen to other genres Emo wormed its tendrils into so as to feed: Grunge, Punk, and even the Beat movement would all likewise be absorbed by Emo attempts to claim it, which is why many stereotypes, including Emo fashion, music stylings, and predilection towards poetry persist to this day. None of this, however, would really amount to the damage that Emo subculture did to Vampires, romanticizing them into individuals for whom the taste for blood was little more than a dietetic quirk. Emos continue to drink tomato juice from plastic Halloween goblets, dress up like gay vampires, and whine endlessly about how they supposedly hate life to this very day, whilst everyone else who remembers the good old days just shakes their head in disgust, goes "son, I am disappoint," and walks off, depressed.

==Vampires in Modern Fiction==

===Vampires in anime===
While Japan may have their share of silly vampires, they mostly respected the traditional image of modern vampires, here are some of the traits you may find when looking through weaboo media:
*Undulated light colored hair (white, blueish white or light blonde)
*Alternatively pitch black hair
*Red eyes (may bright when showing strong emotions)
*Long sharp nails
*Pallid skin, fair, if slightly ill features.
*White fangs (duh!)
*Bat wings (sometimes may be feathered wings)
*Very very rich (because long term interests are easy when you are a couple of centuries old, may or may not even be the bank owners)
*Preference of early modern age European customs and dresses (may feature black and read)
*Usually of British or west Slavic ascendancy
*May or may not be real nobility
*Crosses (Apparently it doesn't affect them since they aren't christian...)
*Mockingly suave in times of peace, very cultured
*Ferociously sadist when fighting, the beast is unleashed
*Extremely strong close combat and lighting speed
Of course not all anime and manga or [[touhou|vydiagaem]] vampires fit to the T with this list, but they will have most of this characteristics, expect them to be proficient fighters with all the advantages of old vampires and enough brains to not to fall to cheap tricks such as exposing themselves to the sun due some silly accident.

===Hellsing===
[[File:AlucardHellsing.png|300px|thumb|right|''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GbnMSGXEyE Come on! Get up! Attack me! You've only suffered the loss of your legs! Summon up your familiars! Transform your body! Heal your severed legs and stand!]'']]
A great example of vampires done by Japan right comes from a manga called Hellsing, which focused on a gunslinging "domesticated" vampire named Alucard who works for an organization of vampire hunters. The Hellsing manga follows the story of the Hellsing Organization, a British family-run organization incharge of killing supernatural threats to the British empire. In the manga's case, they fight a 50-year old batallion of artificial vampire [[nazi]]s originally meant to turn the tide of the war (called "The Last Batallion"), under the command of an SS major, who wants to kill Alucard for ruining the original Last Battalion project, and just for the lulz.

Alucard himself is a blood-crazed, warmongering maniac that makes the archetype 90s anti-hero look tame by comparison, even if the villains in the series were even worse than him. He somewhat follows the story of Bram Stoker's Dracula, with him being Vlad the Impaler in life before getting killed and becoming Dracula in death ("Alucard" is Dracula backwards), but is instead compelled to serve humans rather than being axed off outright.

Just an example of his insanity and his level of dickishness is that he is completely immortal, even by vampire standards, capable of even surviving methods designed to kill vampires (from stakes to the heart and beheadings with blessed equipment. Although this is because he can use the millions of souls he has consumed over 5 centuries as a scapegoat.), and is the most powerful vampire in existence. Despite being able to kill any foe he desires in the blink of an eye; he will instead allow them a hollow chance at killing him, [[Rape|only to get back up, show them a fraction of his power, and proceed to slowly dismember and humiliate them before finally killing them, just for the lulz]]. Ohh, and he also transforms into a [[Touhou|little girl]] when it fancies him ([[Pretend|Although keeping his masculine voice while in this form]]). Truly the vampire all of /tg/ asked for.

There's also the deuteragonist Seras Victoria, a british cop-girl-turned-vampire sired by Alucard himself after "saving" her (which is in quotes because he fatally shot her in the first place on purpose) from being molested and murdered by another vampire. She originally started off as the hapless minion of her master, but becomes murder on legs after she unlocked her true power as a vampire, most notably by [[Khorne|literally grinding someone's face off by dragging their face against a wall at high speed]]. Seras is notable for being the plucky comic relief and fan service character despite being an undead creature of the night, and still being an upbeat and decent individual in spite of the former and all of the fucked up shit going on around her.

The series had anime adaption made, but like many animes based on mangas, it started to run out of material and started making its own, which divided fans of the manga, and ended after only 13 episodes. Four years later we got a more faithful adaptation called in the form of series of <s>direct to video movies</s> ''they're called Original Video Animations and they're nowhere near as shitty as direct to video movies are implied to be'' called Hellsing Ultimate. <s>Even though most these haven't been released stateside</s> Since watching dubbed anime is for scrubs even if Hellsing's dub is markedly better than most others, any decent anime fan site will still have them subtitled, so if you want to watch them, you don't have to look to far (Although Crispin Freeman's voice acting for Alucard is the shit, compared to his equally good Japanese counterpart). So go watch them. That's an order.
And here's to get you started. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNLuGfIb5Do

===[[Twilight|Pinelight]]===
And then [[Stephanie Meyer]] showed up and [[faggotry|ruined Vampires forever]]. At this point, vampires still had the whole "promiscuity" thing going for them; that is, they did until Meyer up and decided to write [[Twilight]] so she and other Mormons would have a Vampire Abstinence porno they could [[/d/|fap]] to [[What|without angering Jesus]]. With this, vampires reached their current state of [[fag|immense glittery faggotry]] and became the fucked-up, universally-mocked, emotionally-abusive teen heartthrobs they are today, while every [[Vampire Counts]] player in WHFB, every old-school Goth, and everyone who gives a damn about literary or cultural verisimilitude cried [[Fist of the North Star|manly tears of pain and rage]].

Fortunately, as a backlash against this complete castigation of the scary and badass monsters-of-the-night that they originally were, some modern fiction has taken the opposite direction by making their vampires actually frightening and dangerous. One rather bad (but very clever) game turned them into truly horrific undead adversaries, the likes of which are [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHPfK9-r0EM&feature=player_detailpage#t=46s nightmare fuel].

===Warhammer===
[[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] plays up the horror aspects of the Vampires to 11, knowing that it's what makes them a compelling force to play - after all, the one nice thing about being an undead lord of the night is that you get to be a [[Ork|right and propa]] evil overlord about it. Vampires in WFB are both hard as nails and are wizards to boot, meaning they cover most bases that other armies have to pick and choose, however being masters of necromancy and all, if the general dies then the rest of the undead army under his command usually starts crumbling to dust (not so much after the return of [[Nagash]] though) unless another Vampire/Necromancer can step in and take over. Steven Sevile's vampire trilogy Inheritance, Dominion, and Retribution are great for showing just how monstrous these fiends are.

===Warhammer 40,000===
There were once actually rules for Vampires ''(spelled Vampyre)'' in the 40k universe, taken as supplementary rules for [[Necromunda]] they represented an abhuman subtype who drank blood, had superhuman statlines and raised gangs of thralls to do their bidding. Even a young, pony-tailed [[Gav Thorpe]] got involved with the rules and [[Stat me|wrote up]] a counter character: [[What|B'Ufi the Vampyre Slayer]] which was somehow part of the 40k canon.

Though 40k has generally left Necromunda behind, mention of blood sucking mutants can still be found in [[Dark Heresy]] and one of the [[Imperial Knight|Freeblade Knights]] (the Crimson Reaper) is rumoured to be a Vampyre.

Also, several tabletop factions drink blood as part of their fluff..
*[[Blood Angels]] A first-founding chapter who includes blood in many of their chapter themes and rituals (and their successors usually follow this), basically what would happen when you throw Catholicism and Bram Stoker's Dracula in a blender and pressing puree. The Blood Angels have a lot of modern vampire-ish themes, mixed with angelic elements, from looking eternally youthful, being long-lived (even by Astartes standards), and have an 1-3 chances of developing a need to quench their partially dormant bloodthirst.
*[[Blood Drinkers]] A Blood Angels successor chapter. They have a literal need to drink blood, although unlike their more angelic cousins; they do not do this out of ritual: instead they do it as a way to sate their chapter's innate bloodlust.
*<s>[[Blood Ravens]]</s> (Not really vampires, but Fantasy counterpart is Strigany, who serve the Vampire Counts.)
*[[Flesh Eaters]] (Crappy [[Space Marines]] who like to eat flesh. Especially if it's raw.)
*[[Dark Eldar]] (While not bloodsuckers, although they might drink their victim's blood if it fancies them; the Dark Eldar partake in a sort of "emotional vamprism" on their hosts to sustain themselves. Said vamprism is carried out usually by ''slowly'' torturing the host until he's dead. They also follow the "classic" Vampire aesthetics; being a bunch of crazy arrogant pale and nimble wannabe-aristocrats. They even come back from dead in a process, which involves crystal coffins.)

===Vampires in [[4E]]===
Vampires are now a class in 4e. They were introduced in the Heroes of Shadow book, and yes, they are in fact a CLASS now, no longer a template or curse. There is also detailed in the book a new race, "Vryloka," which are basically vampires in their own right so [[Derp|WHY MAKE VAMPIRE A CLASS]], [[RAGE|I MEAN SERIOUSLY]]. Only in the [[fluff]], Vryloka have the power of vampires, just without the bloodlust. Really? That just sounds stupid on paper. And also stupid in general. We got a fucking ''cornucopia'' of stupid going on here.

The Vampire class has the Shadow power source, and is also a striker, which is apparently all Shadow is good for in 4e, being that all it consists of is Assassins, Executioners (new Assassins from the same book) and Vampires, all of which are strikers. Shadow and Martial are two power sources in 4e that are alike in that nobody ever picks anything that's not a striker, only with shadow they just figured they'd cut out the middle-man and ONLY offer strikers.

WOTC explained that they named the class Vampire because they really wanted the players to feel like they were playing one, as most of the powers are based on vampiric lore (turning into bats, mist, wolves, drinking blood to gain healing surges). If so, they still could have come up with an original fucking name either way and kept the fluff relatively the same.

This raises a question: Since vampirism was already present in 4e by way of heritage feats (and one could already gain vampiric powers this way), why not simply expand on that idea instead of introducing both a race AND class that are both vampires? Or better yet, why not make vampire a race in the same way that Revenant is (that is, you choose which race you are a revenant of and can select that race's feats)? As the system is now, it is possible to make a Vryloka with Vampire class and the Vampiric Heritage feat, meaning you can gain utility and attack powers that all relate to being a vampire from three different sources with one character.

This also means that Vampires (without multiclassing or making a hybrid <s>HAHA NO HYBRID VAMPIRES</s> THERE ARE NOW, DIPSHIT) cannot be mages or knights (at least the ones with the vampire class). Players who take the vampiric heritage feat can do so with any class, and can take a paragon path (Blood Knight, which would have been a better name for the class itself but instead OOPS I guess it's already taken).

Another, better idea than they did: 4e Dark Sun had character templates: optional setting-specific choices to give players a bit more unique character fluff, that came with one additional power and others to choose from as you leveled up. Why couldn't they have done this with Vampire? A Vampire Template would have made sense, and could fit anywhere, in any setting. Whereas Dark Sun's templates had no negatives, they could have made the template force the weaknesses (sunlight, garlic, stakes in the heart, whatever) onto the player. This literally would simply WORK.

[[Tl;dr]] There's a Vampire class, it is stupid, blame [[4e]].

===The Dresden Files===
A number of species (or "Courts) of vampires exist in the [[The Dresden Files RPG|The Dresden Files]]. While the RPG isn't on the neckbeard's essentials list, the novel series is on /tg/'s approved literature list, and the rich background made from the 15 and counting books, numerous short stories, and a few other forms of media is rife with nasties. This includes a number of species that fall under the umbrella of vampires. It should be noted that while they're largely unrelated, Vampires have a few thing in common: each Court is essentially a family clan or a close-knit set of family groups; they feed on humans in various ways; they're agelessly immortal; the older they are, the more powerful and more influential in court politics they are.

====The Black Court====
The Draculas. Meant almost unironically. The Black Court are what we normally think of with the pop cultural vampire: blood drinking, moldering corpses with superpowers. In addition to the expected super strength, super durability, and super speed, Black Court vampires have a grab bag of superpowers, including subverting the will of humans to make them docile and compliant, or as a Renfield, a physically-empowered beast who is fanatically loyal to their master. Black Court campires are the most powerful, but have the most weaknesses, and it adds up to them being the hardest to fight and easiest to kill. While older, more powerful vampires have some protection against the traditional weaknesses, young vampires have to remain dormant during the daytime. Garlic, sunlight, and getting staked are all lethal, and holy relics are an anathema, and necromantic magic is rumored to be a potent weapon against them. They are also notably vulnerable to more modern means, such as flamethrowers and high explosives. Out of the vampire species, they reproduce the fastest, with victims of their bite getting back up in a matter of minutes and able to create even more Black Court vampires; but the greater their presence means the more attention they draw, meaning the sooner a whole group comes to extinction.

Their rivals in the White Court commissioned Bram Stoker to write the novel ''Dracula'' as an expose on their strengths, weaknesses, and signs that a group (or more correctly, a "scourge") of Black Court vampires have taken up residence in an area. This has lead to the court has largely dying out, and natural selection has left the most powerful, the most cunning, and/or the most discreet vampires being left alive, with the odd exception of a young Black Court vampire popping up to cause trouble when an older vampire finds them useful.

The original vampire of the Black Court has the title of the Black King, and in this case it appears to be the original Dracula. His father, Vlad Dracul was ironically even worse, since he was some ''thing'' of incredible evil that was trapped in human form (most fan theories posit that he was a demon or a dragon, but juries out if he was something else entirely), and since he was incredibly evil, he was a dick to his son. So out of daddy issues, little Vladdy joined the Black Court according to a snarky magical database, but he might have been mistaken about Dracula having ''joined'' the Black Court rather than ''creating'' it, as Word of God later posits that Dracula was the Black Court O.G. Whoever the creator was, the Black Court was apparently created when they had made a deal, if not with the Devil, then with a creature of comparable evil and power. Notably, if Dracula was indeed the founder, that would make this Court just more than 5 centuries old, making them the youngest Court.

====Red Court====
The Red Court are Central American, anthropomorphic bat monsters. Unlike most [[Furry|depictions of anthropomorphic creatures]], Red Court vampires are grotesque creatures with flabby bodies, pot bellies, spindly limbs, and slimy skin. For them, blood is both sustenance and a drug, sometimes having a narcotic effect with dependence potentially being a very real issue; and instances of insanity and mental instability occurring in Red Court vampires in much greater frequency than in other Courts and human populations.

Red Court vampires are less powerful than Black Court vampires, but also have fewer weaknesses. There are a higher number of magic users in the Red Court than in the Black (though thats a given and its unknown if that's per capita, since only about two vampires of the Black Court showed up, and literally hundreds of Reds). They have super strength, but the fact that they still have a mass comparable to a human has been leveraged against them. Their main weaknesses are divine symbols, fire, and sunlight, being damaging against them, and lethal only with sustained exposure (with fire, of course, requiring slightly less sustained exposure). They can also heal pretty quickly, given they have enough blood to metabolize. They can also pose as regular (albeit incredibly attractive) humans with a second skin called a flesh mask, which can be formed at will over a few seconds, and it provides them with some protection from sunlight. Elder vampires are hinted to be able to alter their flesh masks, allowing them to disguise themselves, and occasionally they happen to have other abilities (one vampire could mesmerize people with a look in the eyes, making them see the things she wanted them too). Lastly, they have narcotic saliva, which can be used to make prey more compliant and willing (imagine an incredibly hot individual who has a tongue than makes you feel great, numbed, and willing to go along with their suggestions), and they can create "renfielded" individuals by making them dependent on the effects of their saliva.

Most members of the Red Court are survivors of another Red Courts vampire's bite. These "dhampirs" have super strength, immortality, and super senses. Unfortunately, they also have a huge hankering for blood that they need to resist unless they want to become a vampire themselves. A group of rebellious Red Court dhampirs have gathered together as the Order of Saint Giles and are conducting a centuries-long guerrilla war on the Red Court. If a Red Court dhampir ever drinks blood, that is to make or fail to resist the choice of taking the life of another to sate their thirst, then they become a vampire.

The leadership is based around hierarchical system of nobility, the very top is a council of twelve who took the name of the Lords of Outer Night, and the Red King being placed above them, and he having taken the title of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kukulkan Kukulkan]. Kukulkan has been the Red King for at least 4,000 years, ruling Central American civilizations from the shadows all the while, and nobody is quite certain where he comes from. The Lords of Outer Night have posed themselves as gods, members of one of the Central American patheons (probably Mayan, going by "Kukulkan"), for several thousand years, and the worship and devotion of mortals has allowed them to become deities in their own right; this means they become much more powerful, and exerting their force of will is like a form of telekinesis that most humans don't have a prayer of overcoming. While considered a nation unto themselves, they control several human nations in Central and South America, mostly through secretly pushing their cult and compulsion of key individuals through intimidation, addiction, or promises of vampirism. As a nation, they have several billion dollars worth of resources and entire villages of humans bred like cattle for consumption and occasionally proliferation, [[Grimdark|including children]].

Kukulkan has ruled the red court for his entire life, though through the novels, his subordinates think that it's about time for his tenure to end. By the "present" in the novels, with the possible exception of a few sequel hooked individuals, the Red Court has been driven to extinction.

====The White Court====
Incubi and Succubi. The White Court are psychic vampires that mainly feed on psychic energy, mostly lust and desire. They appear the most human, having no secret form and no distinction except for glowing silver eyes when their powers are activated or their hunger is stoked. White Court vampires are more born than created; the son or daughter of a White Court vampire is a human born with a demonic symbiote called a "Hunger", and it manifests at puberty, and is awakened only when it sates itself for the first time the nascent vampire makes love for the first time. The effect is that their partner is drained to the point of death and the human scion of the White Court is transformed into a vampire. Female White Court vampires appear to be sterile (though this isn't confirmed).

The White Court is, in a few ways, the weakest of the Vampires. They're still physically superior to humans in every way, have an ability to regenerate from injury that's superior to the Red Court and much better than the Black Court, and when their power is activated, their strongest vampires can go toe-to-toe with a Black Court vampire. But every time their power is used, it draws from their Hunger, draining their "battery" each time, and one of the best ways to beat them is to exhaust their Hunger. They can inspire lust and devotion in their prey, advanced vampires or vampires with a long term relationship with their "food" being able to take the life force from their prey with a touch. At least one of their more humane vampires has developed a semi-functional romantic relationship with his prey, even with the predator-prey dynamic. To compensate the fact that they generally aren't as powerful and that they don't have the sustained power as their counterparts, the White Court has developed a culture of [[Just As Planned|scheming and manipulation]].

The White King is the patriarch of the Raith family, known only as Lord Raith, and he maintains his position at the top of the heap with a long-earned reputation of being the most powerful White Court vampire and being the entire court's best manipulator. There are other families, presumably derived from Lord Raith's siblings. While House Raith feeds on and can inspire lust and desire, the lesser houses of Malvoras and Skavis have a similar relationship with fear and despair respectively. The White Court derives at least as far back as the Etruscan civilization, which was one of Rome's neighbors about 21 centuries ago, and the ancient Etruscan language is still utilized by the Court in the present.

====Jade Court====
The only court that hasn't appeared directly in the novels. The Jade Court are Asian vampires that have the least details known about them, due to the fact that their extremely secretive and isolationist, they largely constrain themselves to their bases in China's Yangtze River basin and the area around the South China Sea, and that most of the series takes place in North America. They likely date back to the Qin dynasty. They're currently holding themselves up in their homes while they see if the new People's Republic will collapse like previous Chinese governments. While very secretive, they have a reputation for being honorable and respecting the supernatural equivalent of the Geneva conventions. Next to nothing is known about their nature, but fan consensus is that they're ''[[Jiangshi]]'', and probably feed on a victims ''qi''.

====Other Courts====
There are reputedly at least 3 other courts in the 'verse, but they're fleas compared to the others, and thus not really worthy of mention.

===Vampire: the Masquerade===
[[VtM]] from White Wolf had a pretty good take on Vampires, consisting of an entire campaign setting surrounding Vampires, covering a range of playable clans from the uber-seductive Toreador (presumably what inspired the Twilight books though) to the feral Gangrel, the fucking ugly as shit Nosferatu to the batshit mental as fuck Malkavian. So pretty much the setting allowed players to play the vampire of their dreams.

The setting was real-world too, fitting into real-word mythologies using elements from biblical canon to explain itself away, using the origin story of Cain(e) & Abel and making Vampires to be Caine's cursed descendants, after learning how to master his blood magic from the equally outcast Lilith ''(Adams first ex-wife according to Hebrew canon)''

===Vampire:The Requiem===
Essentially a reboot of VtM above, VtR removed the Christian backstory and made vampires more mysterious, and condensed the vast array of playable clans down to five clans that embodied strong vampire archetypes and myriad sub-clans, "bloodlines", that further refined those archetypes.

===Nosferatu===
The classic 1922 silent film is notable for inventing the entire idea vampires burn in sunlight, something which has stuck with them ever since. However, the character of Count Orlok is a classic example of vampires being terrifying monsters which prey upon the living. Not much backstory is ever really given about him or vampires in this setting, but to defeat a vampire here, a pure maiden must sacrifice herself in order to vanquish him by exposing Orlok to sunlight.

==Sexy, Sexy Vampires==
[[Image:MGE Vampire.jpg|right|thumb|300px|Prove your worth, and she may favor you for the evening.]]

{{Monstergirls}}

When Bram Stoker wrote his "Dracula" novel in the 1800s, even though ol' Drac himself was not exactly portrayed as the handsomest individual, the book's scenes of Dracula's attacks on sleeping women had a darkly erotic undertone that women readers instantly picked up on. Add in Dracula's far more handsome portrayal by actor Bela Lugosi in the first ever film depiction and Carmilla, the beautiful female vampire who only preys on women and does so with just as much eroticism as Dracula did, and you had the beginnings of the vampire's descent into sexual fandom amongst the growing Goth movement. Add in Anne Rice's sexually charged Vampire Chronicles books, and thus the "Vampires Are Sex Gods" trope/meme was born.

For the most part, it tends to be the ''male'' vampires who get presented in this light, dominating the niche genre of "supernatural romance" for women by an enormous margin. Still, there are enough voluptuous, sexually provocative female vampires in media that [[monstergirls]] fans aren't left entirely in the dust.

In fact, it's not actually unprecedented; the Balkans had stories of [[Dhampir]]s, the offspring of vampires and their human wives, for centuries before Anne Rice put pen to paper, so people have been seeing vampires as sexy for a pretty long time.

In the [[Monster Girl Encyclopedia]], the vampire is presented as a kind of [[succubus]] with a taste for bloodplay and an affinity for [[necromancer|necromancy]]. They are arrogant, conceited tsunderes, demanding only the very best in a potential human mate. Unless you feed them garlic, whereupon they turn into a horny, submissive slut.

[[Category:Literature]][[Category:Roleplaying]][[Category:Monsters]][[Category:Undead]][[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]]

Vampire

2018-08-01T17:15:25Z

2602:304:B26C:4D20:D33:379:A331:646F: /* Modern Vampires */

"A monster I am, lest a monster I wankity wank wank..."

These guys suck. Blood, mostly, but in recent portrayals they've learned there's more to sucking than just sustenance. Vampires were originally people that died and came back as undead, <strike> blood-craving monsters </strike> (Actually, vampires were originally bloated walking corpses animated because they were possessed by a demon that would attempt to eat the hearts of the living and satisfy their OCD by counting grains of rice) or perhaps were infected by another vampire to become one, but now they're an overrated, over-glorified "race" that emo fags love, and at times the entertainment industry circle jerks to. Possibly the most notorious example of the ruination of vampires in contemporary media are the [[Twilight]] vampires from the book/movie series written by [[Stephanie Meyer]], which are less like undead fiends and more like mysterious pretty-boys, who sparkle in the sunlight rather than burning to death, as in older portrayals.

Vampires used to be badass motherfuckers that struck at night and hypnotized you into obedience so they could feed on you and turn you into a zombie, but then emo teens started to pretend that they were vampires until it stopped meaning "Dark Creature of the Night, Here to Devour your Soul", and started meaning [[Fag|"Faggot"]]. Now, vampires are created through the use of make-up, bad poetry, and incense lit to conceal the smell of pot so the vampire kid's parents don't come in and scold them in front of his friends from high school.

If you want vampires in fiction in their original, non-emo bad ass form, [[Vampire Counts|check out]] the [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] game created by [[GW]], or go to Youtube, and search for Jojo's Bizarre Adventure's Dio Brando (ZA WARUDO!) or look up [[Anime|Hellsing Ultimate]]. I mean, FUCK! Also, Team Four Star abridged episode one of Hellsing Ultimate, and had Alucard kill Edward Cullen. You know you want to watch it. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgnIjJexut4 Why aren't you?] Have we offended you in some way?

==History of Vampires==

===Ancient Vampires===
In ancient cultures, there weren't any creatures called "vampires" or any word that roughly translates to "vampire"; however, stories were told of demons and spirits that drank blood or ate flesh. Even the devil was directly associated with the eating of flesh and drinking of blood, and the gods and goddesses of some cultures were credited with these activities.
The Persians were one of the first civilizations to have tales of blood-drinking demons: creatures attempting to drink blood from men were depicted on excavated pottery shards. Ancient Babylonia had tales of the mythical Lilitu, synonymous with and giving rise to Lilith (Hebrew לילית) and her daughters the Lilu from Hebrew demonology. Lilitu was considered a demon and was often depicted as subsisting on the blood of babies. However, the Jewish counterparts were said to feast on both men and women, as well as newborns. The closest this got to the idea of vampires in recent history was that some demons would possess corpses and then use them to drink the blood of people.

===Medieval and European Vampires===
Many of the myths surrounding vampires originated during the medieval period. The 12th century English historians and chroniclers Walter Map and William of Newburgh recorded accounts of revenants, though records in English legends of vampiric beings after this date are scant. These tales are similar to the later folklore widely reported from Eastern Europe in the 18th century and were the basis of the vampire legend that later entered Germany and England, where they were subsequently embellished and popularized.

During the 18th century, there was a frenzy of vampire sightings in Eastern Europe, with frequent stakings and grave diggings to identify and kill the potential revenants; even government officials engaged in the hunting and staking of vampires. Despite being called the Age of Enlightenment, during which most folkloric legends were quelled, the belief in vampires increased dramatically, resulting in a mass hysteria throughout most of Europe. The panic began with an outbreak of alleged vampire attacks in East Prussia in 1721 and in the Habsburg Monarchy from 1725 to 1734, which spread to other localities. Two famous vampire cases, the first to be officially recorded, involved the corpses of Peter Plogojowitz and Arnold Paole from Serbia. Plogojowitz was reported to have died at the age of 62, but allegedly returned after his death asking his son for food. When the son refused, he was found dead the following day. Plogojowitz supposedly returned and attacked some neighbours who died from loss of blood. In the second case, Paole, an ex-soldier turned farmer who allegedly was attacked by a vampire years before, died while haying. After his death, people began to die in the surrounding area and it was widely believed that Paole had returned to prey on the neighbours. Another famous Serbian legend involving vampires concentrates around certain Sava Savanović living in a watermill and killing and drinking blood from millers. The folklore character was later used in a story written by Serbian writer Milovan Glišić and in the Serbian 1973 horror film Leptirica inspired by the story.

The two incidents were well-documented: government officials examined the bodies, wrote case reports, and published books throughout Europe. The hysteria, commonly referred to as the "18th-Century Vampire Controversy", raged for a generation. The problem was exacerbated by rural epidemics of so-claimed vampire attacks, undoubtedly caused by the higher amount of superstition that was present in village communities, with locals digging up bodies and in some cases, staking them. Although many scholars reported during this period that vampires did not exist, and attributed reports to premature burial or rabies, superstitious belief increased. Dom Augustine Calmet, a well-respected French theologian and scholar, put together a comprehensive treatise in 1746, which was ambiguous concerning the existence of vampires. Calmet amassed reports of vampire incidents; numerous readers, including both a critical Voltaire and supportive demonologists, interpreted the treatise as claiming that vampires existed. In his Philosophical Dictionary, Voltaire wrote:

"These vampires were corpses, who went out of their graves at night to suck the blood of the living, either at their throats or stomachs, after which they returned to their cemeteries. The persons so sucked waned, grew pale, and fell into consumption; while the sucking corpses grew fat, got rosy, and enjoyed an excellent appetite. It was in Poland, Hungary, Silesia, Moravia, Austria, and Lorraine, that the dead made this good cheer."

The controversy only ceased when Empress Maria Theresa of Austria sent her personal physician, Gerard van Swieten, to investigate the claims of vampiric entities. He concluded that vampires did not exist and the Empress passed laws prohibiting the opening of graves and desecration of bodies, sounding the end of the vampire epidemics. Despite this condemnation, the vampire lived on in artistic works and in local superstition.

Celtic mythology features the Baobhan Sidhe, which resemble the archetypal modern horror vampire, as they are beautiful women who take the blood of men while "dancing" with them (usually in a murderous fashion), but have to return to their burial mounds before the rise of the sun. There is also the Lennan Sidhe, or Barrow Lover, who is the tamer, more good natured, monogamous style of vampire girlfriend, who inspires her pet artist but also drains him, sometimes driving him into an early grave.

Romanian mythology also contributes heavily to the modern, sociable, attractive notion of vampires, who seem to usually be gingers, and could sometimes pass unnoticed in human society or even procreate or marry; even female vampires could bear offspring. The children are usually fated to become vampires after death. Romanian vampires come in countless varieties, from evil spirits to owls to vampire babes to actual living witches. Romanian vampires potentially have a shot at becoming alive again -- it involves marrying a foreigner, changing their name and leaving the country, however, which sounds a lot less like "becomes human again" and more "sneaks off to bite people elsewhere." YMMV.

===Modern Vampires===
[[Image:M1182225 99060207172 VCVladMain 873x627.jpg|right|thumb|400px|[[Vlad von Carstein]] of [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] fame. He'd mutilate the unholy tard out of [[Gay|Tinkerbell]] [[Twilight|Cullen]]. [[Rip and Tear|AND HOW]].]]
In the late 1800s, Vampires were still widely regarded to be nasty little weirdos like Count Orlok, creeping around in the night looking freakish and completely the opposite of sexy. But then- along came the Hollywood portrayal of Bram Stoker's Dracula from the typical unattractive vampire (he was at least written as ugly; he was a thin elderly man with a hooked nose, pointed ears, blue eyes that went flaming red when he was mad and had hairy palms, though his appearance became more youthful as he fed on blood) to Tod Browning's Dracula film, starring Bela Lugosi's Dracula as a suave lady's man, and the Vampire's descent into sparkly [[Mary Sue|Marty Stu-dom]] began. (Incidentally, vampires only began to burn to death by sunlight with 1922's Nosferatu film. Before this even Dracula himself could walk in broad daylight, though his powers were weakened). [[-4 Str|Lady-types]] developed a metaphorical hard-on for vampires, and vampires supposedly got literal hard-ons for ladies until 1976, when Anne Rice published the first book in her series, ''the Vampire Chronicles'', which established a more... Primal interpretation, wherein Vampires had free will, but all of their needs paled before the all-consuming need for fresh blood to feed upon. This is where we started to see more classical interpretations, where they were sociopaths, gluttons, and sophisticates, all at once.

Discussion of the Vampire mythos and how Vampires began to suck (figuratively) cannot be had without careful analysis of the culture at the time. Vampires, up through the 1980s, had always been associated with gothic horror - it's one of many reasons that there was such a resurgence of Victorian-style fashion amongst the Goth crowd, which admittedly a lot of [[/tg/]] finds [[Promotions|impossibly]] [[/d/|hot]]. Goth culture celebrated Vampire mythos for this very reason; they were a ''worthy'' bit of admirable folklore, the source of many an interesting BBEG, and an inspiration for a lot of things ''in'' Goth culture. This "classical" archetype is what we would see with most Vampire portrayals throughout movies, comic books, television series, and so on during this time.

Sadly, in the early 1990s, cross-contamination by the "Emo" subculture caused this to bottom out in a parasitic fashion - Emo glutted itself on anything it could encounter and claimed that it belonged rightly to it, and Goth subculture, with its established fashion sense and habits, was a natural target. The prevalence of Emo bullshit caused the bulk of the Goth subculture to retreat back to its Victorian roots, but not before Emos had secured Vampires as "their own." Similar would happen to other genres Emo wormed its tendrils into so as to feed: Grunge, Punk, and even the Beat movement would all likewise be absorbed by Emo attempts to claim it, which is why many stereotypes, including Emo fashion, music stylings, and predilection towards poetry persist to this day. None of this, however, would really amount to the damage that Emo subculture did to Vampires, romanticizing them into individuals for whom the taste for blood was little more than a dietetic quirk. Emos continue to drink tomato juice from plastic Halloween goblets, dress up like gay vampires, and whine endlessly about how they supposedly hate life to this very day, whilst everyone else who remembers the good old days just shakes their head in disgust, goes "son, I am disappoint," and walks off, depressed.

==Vampires in Modern Fiction==

===Vampires in anime===
While Japan may have their share of silly vampires, they mostly respected the traditional image of modern vampires, here are some of the traits you may find when looking through weaboo media:
*Undulated light colored hair (white, blueish white or light blonde)
*Alternatively pitch black hair
*Red eyes (may bright when showing strong emotions)
*Long sharp nails
*Pallid skin, fair, if slightly ill features.
*White fangs (duh!)
*Bat wings (sometimes may be feathered wings)
*Very very rich (because long term interests are easy when you are a couple of centuries old, may or may not even be the bank owners)
*Preference of early modern age European customs and dresses (may feature black and read)
*Usually of British or west Slavic ascendancy
*May or may not be real nobility
*Crosses (Apparently it doesn't affect them since they aren't christian...)
*Mockingly suave in times of peace, very cultured
*Ferociously sadist when fighting, the beast is unleashed
*Extremely strong close combat and lighting speed
Of course not all anime and manga or [[touhou|vydiagaem]] vampires fit to the T with this list, but they will have most of this characteristics, expect them to be proficient fighters with all the advantages of old vampires and enough brains to not to fall to cheap tricks such as exposing themselves to the sun due some silly accident.

===Hellsing===
[[File:AlucardHellsing.png|300px|thumb|right|''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GbnMSGXEyE Come on! Get up! Attack me! You've only suffered the loss of your legs! Summon up your familiars! Transform your body! Heal your severed legs and stand!]'']]
A great example of vampires done by Japan right comes from a manga called Hellsing, which focused on a gunslinging "domesticated" vampire named Alucard who works for an organization of vampire hunters. The Hellsing manga follows the story of the Hellsing Organization, a British family-run organization incharge of killing supernatural threats to the British empire. In the manga's case, they fight a 50-year old batallion of artificial vampire [[nazi]]s originally meant to turn the tide of the war (called "The Last Batallion"), under the command of an SS major, who wants to kill Alucard for ruining the original Last Battalion project, and just for the lulz.

Alucard himself is a blood-crazed, warmongering maniac that makes the archetype 90s anti-hero look tame by comparison, even if the villains in the series were even worse than him. He somewhat follows the story of Bram Stoker's Dracula, with him being Vlad the Impaler in life before getting killed and becoming Dracula in death ("Alucard" is Dracula backwards), but is instead compelled to serve humans rather than being axed off outright.

Just an example of his insanity and his level of dickishness is that he is completely immortal, even by vampire standards, capable of even surviving methods designed to kill vampires (from stakes to the heart and beheadings with blessed equipment. Although this is because he can use the millions of souls he has consumed over 5 centuries as a scapegoat.), and is the most powerful vampire in existence. Despite being able to kill any foe he desires in the blink of an eye; he will instead allow them a hollow chance at killing him, [[Rape|only to get back up, show them a fraction of his power, and proceed to slowly dismember and humiliate them before finally killing them, just for the lulz]]. Ohh, and he also transforms into a [[Touhou|little girl]] when it fancies him ([[Pretend|Although keeping his masculine voice while in this form]]). Truly the vampire all of /tg/ asked for.

There's also the deuteragonist Seras Victoria, a british cop-girl-turned-vampire sired by Alucard himself after "saving" her (which is in quotes because he fatally shot her in the first place on purpose) from being molested and murdered by another vampire. She originally started off as the hapless minion of her master, but becomes murder on legs after she unlocked her true power as a vampire, most notably by [[Khorne|literally grinding someone's face off by dragging their face against a wall at high speed]]. Seras is notable for being the plucky comic relief and fan service character despite being an undead creature of the night, and still being an upbeat and decent individual in spite of the former and all of the fucked up shit going on around her.

The series had anime adaption made, but like many animes based on mangas, it started to run out of material and started making its own, which divided fans of the manga, and ended after only 13 episodes. Four years later we got a more faithful adaptation called in the form of series of <s>direct to video movies</s> ''they're called Original Video Animations and they're nowhere near as shitty as direct to video movies are implied to be'' called Hellsing Ultimate. <s>Even though most these haven't been released stateside</s> Since watching dubbed anime is for scrubs even if Hellsing's dub is markedly better than most others, any decent anime fan site will still have them subtitled, so if you want to watch them, you don't have to look to far (Although Crispin Freeman's voice acting for Alucard is the shit, compared to his equally good Japanese counterpart). So go watch them. That's an order.
And here's to get you started. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNLuGfIb5Do

===[[Twilight|Pinelight]]===
And then [[Stephanie Meyer]] showed up and [[faggotry|ruined Vampires forever]]. At this point, vampires still had the whole "promiscuity" thing going for them; that is, they did until Meyer up and decided to write [[Twilight]] so she and other Mormons would have a Vampire Abstinence porno they could [[/d/|fap]] to [[What|without angering Jesus]]. With this, vampires reached their current state of [[fag|immense glittery faggotry]] and became the fucked-up, universally-mocked, emotionally-abusive teen heartthrobs they are today, while every [[Vampire Counts]] player in WHFB, every old-school Goth, and everyone who gives a damn about literary or cultural verisimilitude cried [[Fist of the North Star|manly tears of pain and rage]].

Fortunately, as a backlash against this complete castigation of the scary and badass monsters-of-the-night that they originally were, some modern fiction has taken the opposite direction by making their vampires actually frightening and dangerous. One rather bad (but very clever) game turned them into truly horrific undead adversaries, the likes of which are [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHPfK9-r0EM&feature=player_detailpage#t=46s nightmare fuel].

===Warhammer===
[[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] plays up the horror aspects of the Vampires to 11, knowing that it's what makes them a compelling force to play - after all, the one nice thing about being an undead lord of the night is that you get to be a [[Ork|right and propa]] evil overlord about it. Vampires in WFB are both hard as nails and are wizards to boot, meaning they cover most bases that other armies have to pick and choose, however being masters of necromancy and all, if the general dies then the rest of the undead army under his command usually starts crumbling to dust (not so much after the return of [[Nagash]] though) unless another Vampire/Necromancer can step in and take over. Steven Sevile's vampire trilogy Inheritance, Dominion, and Retribution are great for showing just how monstrous these fiends are.

===Warhammer 40,000===
There were once actually rules for Vampires ''(spelled Vampyre)'' in the 40k universe, taken as supplementary rules for [[Necromunda]] they represented an abhuman subtype who drank blood, had superhuman statlines and raised gangs of thralls to do their bidding. Even a young, pony-tailed [[Gav Thorpe]] got involved with the rules and [[Stat me|wrote up]] a counter character: [[What|B'Ufi the Vampyre Slayer]] which was somehow part of the 40k canon.

Though 40k has generally left Necromunda behind, mention of blood sucking mutants can still be found in [[Dark Heresy]] and one of the [[Imperial Knight|Freeblade Knights]] (the Crimson Reaper) is rumoured to be a Vampyre.

Also, several tabletop factions drink blood as part of their fluff..
*[[Blood Angels]] A first-founding chapter who includes blood in many of their chapter themes and rituals (and their successors usually follow this), basically what would happen when you throw Catholicism and Bram Stoker's Dracula in a blender and pressing puree. The Blood Angels have a lot of modern vampire-ish themes, mixed with angelic elements, from looking eternally youthful, being long-lived (even by Astartes standards), and have an 1-3 chances of developing a need to quench their partially dormant bloodthirst.
*[[Blood Drinkers]] A Blood Angels successor chapter. They have a literal need to drink blood, although unlike their more angelic cousins; they do not do this out of ritual: instead they do it as a way to sate their chapter's innate bloodlust.
*<s>[[Blood Ravens]]</s> (Not really vampires, but Fantasy counterpart is Strigany, who serve the Vampire Counts.)
*[[Flesh Eaters]] (Crappy [[Space Marines]] who like to eat flesh. Especially if it's raw.)
*[[Dark Eldar]] (While not bloodsuckers, although they might drink their victim's blood if it fancies them; the Dark Eldar partake in a sort of "emotional vamprism" on their hosts to sustain themselves. Said vamprism is carried out usually by ''slowly'' torturing the host until he's dead. They also follow the "classic" Vampire aesthetics; being a bunch of crazy arrogant pale and nimble wannabe-aristocrats. They even come back from dead in a process, which involves crystal coffins.)

===Vampires in [[4E]]===
Vampires are now a class in 4e. They were introduced in the Heroes of Shadow book, and yes, they are in fact a CLASS now, no longer a template or curse. There is also detailed in the book a new race, "Vryloka," which are basically vampires in their own right so [[Derp|WHY MAKE VAMPIRE A CLASS]], [[RAGE|I MEAN SERIOUSLY]]. Only in the [[fluff]], Vryloka have the power of vampires, just without the bloodlust. Really? That just sounds stupid on paper. And also stupid in general. We got a fucking ''cornucopia'' of stupid going on here.

The Vampire class has the Shadow power source, and is also a striker, which is apparently all Shadow is good for in 4e, being that all it consists of is Assassins, Executioners (new Assassins from the same book) and Vampires, all of which are strikers. Shadow and Martial are two power sources in 4e that are alike in that nobody ever picks anything that's not a striker, only with shadow they just figured they'd cut out the middle-man and ONLY offer strikers.

WOTC explained that they named the class Vampire because they really wanted the players to feel like they were playing one, as most of the powers are based on vampiric lore (turning into bats, mist, wolves, drinking blood to gain healing surges). If so, they still could have come up with an original fucking name either way and kept the fluff relatively the same.

This raises a question: Since vampirism was already present in 4e by way of heritage feats (and one could already gain vampiric powers this way), why not simply expand on that idea instead of introducing both a race AND class that are both vampires? Or better yet, why not make vampire a race in the same way that Revenant is (that is, you choose which race you are a revenant of and can select that race's feats)? As the system is now, it is possible to make a Vryloka with Vampire class and the Vampiric Heritage feat, meaning you can gain utility and attack powers that all relate to being a vampire from three different sources with one character.

This also means that Vampires (without multiclassing or making a hybrid <s>HAHA NO HYBRID VAMPIRES</s> THERE ARE NOW, DIPSHIT) cannot be mages or knights (at least the ones with the vampire class). Players who take the vampiric heritage feat can do so with any class, and can take a paragon path (Blood Knight, which would have been a better name for the class itself but instead OOPS I guess it's already taken).

Another, better idea than they did: 4e Dark Sun had character templates: optional setting-specific choices to give players a bit more unique character fluff, that came with one additional power and others to choose from as you leveled up. Why couldn't they have done this with Vampire? A Vampire Template would have made sense, and could fit anywhere, in any setting. Whereas Dark Sun's templates had no negatives, they could have made the template force the weaknesses (sunlight, garlic, stakes in the heart, whatever) onto the player. This literally would simply WORK.

[[Tl;dr]] There's a Vampire class, it is stupid, blame [[4e]].

===The Dresden Files===
A number of species (or "Courts) of vampires exist in the [[The Dresden Files RPG|The Dresden Files]]. While the RPG isn't on the neckbeard's essentials list, the novel series is on /tg/'s approved literature list, and the rich background made from the 15 and counting books, numerous short stories, and a few other forms of media is rife with nasties. This includes a number of species that fall under the umbrella of vampires. It should be noted that while they're largely unrelated, Vampires have a few thing in common: each Court is essentially a family clan or a close-knit set of family groups; they feed on humans in various ways; they're agelessly immortal; the older they are, the more powerful and more influential in court politics they are.

====The Black Court====
The Draculas. Meant almost unironically. The Black Court are what we normally think of with the pop cultural vampire: blood drinking, moldering corpses with superpowers. In addition to the expected super strength, super durability, and super speed, Black Court vampires have a grab bag of superpowers, including subverting the will of humans to make them docile and compliant, or as a Renfield, a physically-empowered beast who is fanatically loyal to their master. Black Court campires are the most powerful, but have the most weaknesses, and it adds up to them being the hardest to fight and easiest to kill. While older, more powerful vampires have some protection against the traditional weaknesses, young vampires have to remain dormant during the daytime. Garlic, sunlight, and getting staked are all lethal, and holy relics are an anathema, and necromantic magic is rumored to be a potent weapon against them. They are also notably vulnerable to more modern means, such as flamethrowers and high explosives. Out of the vampire species, they reproduce the fastest, with victims of their bite getting back up in a matter of minutes and able to create even more Black Court vampires; but the greater their presence means the more attention they draw, meaning the sooner a whole group comes to extinction.

Their rivals in the White Court commissioned Bram Stoker to write the novel ''Dracula'' as an expose on their strengths, weaknesses, and signs that a group (or more correctly, a "scourge") of Black Court vampires have taken up residence in an area. This has lead to the court has largely dying out, and natural selection has left the most powerful, the most cunning, and/or the most discreet vampires being left alive, with the odd exception of a young Black Court vampire popping up to cause trouble when an older vampire finds them useful.

The original vampire of the Black Court has the title of the Black King, and in this case it appears to be the original Dracula. His father, Vlad Dracul was ironically even worse, since he was some ''thing'' of incredible evil that was trapped in human form (most fan theories posit that he was a demon or a dragon, but juries out if he was something else entirely), and since he was incredibly evil, he was a dick to his son. So out of daddy issues, little Vladdy joined the Black Court according to a snarky magical database, but he might have been mistaken about Dracula having ''joined'' the Black Court rather than ''creating'' it, as Word of God later posits that Dracula was the Black Court O.G. Whoever the creator was, the Black Court was apparently created when they had made a deal, if not with the Devil, then with a creature of comparable evil and power. Notably, if Dracula was indeed the founder, that would make this Court just more than 5 centuries old, making them the youngest Court.

====Red Court====
The Red Court are Central American, anthropomorphic bat monsters. Unlike most [[Furry|depictions of anthropomorphic creatures]], Red Court vampires are grotesque creatures with flabby bodies, pot bellies, spindly limbs, and slimy skin. For them, blood is both sustenance and a drug, sometimes having a narcotic effect with dependence potentially being a very real issue; and instances of insanity and mental instability occurring in Red Court vampires in much greater frequency than in other Courts and human populations.

Red Court vampires are less powerful than Black Court vampires, but also have fewer weaknesses. There are a higher number of magic users in the Red Court than in the Black (though thats a given and its unknown if that's per capita, since only about two vampires of the Black Court showed up, and literally hundreds of Reds). They have super strength, but the fact that they still have a mass comparable to a human has been leveraged against them. Their main weaknesses are divine symbols, fire, and sunlight, being damaging against them, and lethal only with sustained exposure (with fire, of course, requiring slightly less sustained exposure). They can also heal pretty quickly, given they have enough blood to metabolize. They can also pose as regular (albeit incredibly attractive) humans with a second skin called a flesh mask, which can be formed at will over a few seconds, and it provides them with some protection from sunlight. Elder vampires are hinted to be able to alter their flesh masks, allowing them to disguise themselves, and occasionally they happen to have other abilities (one vampire could mesmerize people with a look in the eyes, making them see the things she wanted them too). Lastly, they have narcotic saliva, which can be used to make prey more compliant and willing (imagine an incredibly hot individual who has a tongue than makes you feel great, numbed, and willing to go along with their suggestions), and they can create "renfielded" individuals by making them dependent on the effects of their saliva.

Most members of the Red Court are survivors of another Red Courts vampire's bite. These "dhampirs" have super strength, immortality, and super senses. Unfortunately, they also have a huge hankering for blood that they need to resist unless they want to become a vampire themselves. A group of rebellious Red Court dhampirs have gathered together as the Order of Saint Giles and are conducting a centuries-long guerrilla war on the Red Court. If a Red Court dhampir ever drinks blood, that is to make or fail to resist the choice of taking the life of another to sate their thirst, then they become a vampire.

The leadership is based around hierarchical system of nobility, the very top is a council of twelve who took the name of the Lords of Outer Night, and the Red King being placed above them, and he having taken the title of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kukulkan Kukulkan]. Kukulkan has been the Red King for at least 4,000 years, ruling Central American civilizations from the shadows all the while, and nobody is quite certain where he comes from. The Lords of Outer Night have posed themselves as gods, members of one of the Central American patheons (probably Mayan, going by "Kukulkan"), for several thousand years, and the worship and devotion of mortals has allowed them to become deities in their own right; this means they become much more powerful, and exerting their force of will is like a form of telekinesis that most humans don't have a prayer of overcoming. While considered a nation unto themselves, they control several human nations in Central and South America, mostly through secretly pushing their cult and compulsion of key individuals through intimidation, addiction, or promises of vampirism. As a nation, they have several billion dollars worth of resources and entire villages of humans bred like cattle for consumption and occasionally proliferation, [[Grimdark|including children]].

Kukulkan has ruled the red court for his entire life, though through the novels, his subordinates think that it's about time for his tenure to end. By the "present" in the novels, with the possible exception of a few sequel hooked individuals, the Red Court has been driven to extinction.

====The White Court====
Incubi and Succubi. The White Court are psychic vampires that mainly feed on psychic energy, mostly lust and desire. They appear the most human, having no secret form and no distinction except for glowing silver eyes when their powers are activated or their hunger is stoked. White Court vampires are more born than created; the son or daughter of a White Court vampire is a human born with a demonic symbiote called a "Hunger", and it manifests at puberty, and is awakened only when it sates itself for the first time the nascent vampire makes love for the first time. The effect is that their partner is drained to the point of death and the human scion of the White Court is transformed into a vampire. Female White Court vampires appear to be sterile (though this isn't confirmed).

The White Court is, in a few ways, the weakest of the Vampires. They're still physically superior to humans in every way, have an ability to regenerate from injury that's superior to the Red Court and much better than the Black Court, and when their power is activated, their strongest vampires can go toe-to-toe with a Black Court vampire. But every time their power is used, it draws from their Hunger, draining their "battery" each time, and one of the best ways to beat them is to exhaust their Hunger. They can inspire lust and devotion in their prey, advanced vampires or vampires with a long term relationship with their "food" being able to take the life force from their prey with a touch. At least one of their more humane vampires has developed a semi-functional romantic relationship with his prey, even with the predator-prey dynamic. To compensate the fact that they generally aren't as powerful and that they don't have the sustained power as their counterparts, the White Court has developed a culture of [[Just As Planned|scheming and manipulation]].

The White King is the patriarch of the Raith family, known only as Lord Raith, and he maintains his position at the top of the heap with a long-earned reputation of being the most powerful White Court vampire and being the entire court's best manipulator. There are other families, presumably derived from Lord Raith's siblings. While House Raith feeds on and can inspire lust and desire, the lesser houses of Malvoras and Skavis have a similar relationship with fear and despair respectively. The White Court derives at least as far back as the Etruscan civilization, which was one of Rome's neighbors about 21 centuries ago, and the ancient Etruscan language is still utilized by the Court in the present.

====Jade Court====
The only court that hasn't appeared directly in the novels. The Jade Court are Asian vampires that have the least details known about them, due to the fact that their extremely secretive and isolationist, they largely constrain themselves to their bases in China's Yangtze River basin and the area around the South China Sea, and that most of the series takes place in North America. They likely date back to the Qin dynasty. They're currently holding themselves up in their homes while they see if the new People's Republic will collapse like previous Chinese governments. While very secretive, they have a reputation for being honorable and respecting the supernatural equivalent of the Geneva conventions. Next to nothing is known about their nature, but fan consensus is that they're ''[[Jiangshi]]'', and probably feed on a victims ''qi''.

====Other Courts====
There are reputedly at least 3 other courts in the 'verse, but they're fleas compared to the others, and thus not really worthy of mention.

===Vampire: the Masquerade===
[[VtM]] from White Wolf had a pretty good take on Vampires, consisting of an entire campaign setting surrounding Vampires, covering a range of playable clans from the uber-seductive Toreador (presumably what inspired the Twilight books though) to the feral Gangrel, the fucking ugly as shit Nosferatu to the batshit mental as fuck Malkavian. So pretty much the setting allowed players to play the vampire of their dreams.

The setting was real-world too, fitting into real-word mythologies using elements from biblical canon to explain itself away, using the origin story of Cain(e) & Abel and making Vampires to be Caine's cursed descendants, after learning how to master his blood magic from the equally outcast Lilith ''(Adams first ex-wife according to Hebrew canon)''

===Vampire:The Requiem===
Essentially a reboot of VtM above, VtR removed the Christian backstory and made vampires more mysterious, and condensed the vast array of playable clans down to five clans that embodied strong vampire archetypes and myriad sub-clans, "bloodlines", that further refined those archetypes.

==Sexy, Sexy Vampires==
[[Image:MGE Vampire.jpg|right|thumb|300px|Prove your worth, and she may favor you for the evening.]]

{{Monstergirls}}

When Bram Stoker wrote his "Dracula" novel in the 1800s, even though ol' Drac himself was not exactly portrayed as the handsomest individual, the book's scenes of Dracula's attacks on sleeping women had a darkly erotic undertone that women readers instantly picked up on. Add in Dracula's far more handsome portrayal by actor Bela Lugosi in the first ever film depiction and Carmilla, the beautiful female vampire who only preys on women and does so with just as much eroticism as Dracula did, and you had the beginnings of the vampire's descent into sexual fandom amongst the growing Goth movement. Add in Anne Rice's sexually charged Vampire Chronicles books, and thus the "Vampires Are Sex Gods" trope/meme was born.

For the most part, it tends to be the ''male'' vampires who get presented in this light, dominating the niche genre of "supernatural romance" for women by an enormous margin. Still, there are enough voluptuous, sexually provocative female vampires in media that [[monstergirls]] fans aren't left entirely in the dust.

In fact, it's not actually unprecedented; the Balkans had stories of [[Dhampir]]s, the offspring of vampires and their human wives, for centuries before Anne Rice put pen to paper, so people have been seeing vampires as sexy for a pretty long time.

In the [[Monster Girl Encyclopedia]], the vampire is presented as a kind of [[succubus]] with a taste for bloodplay and an affinity for [[necromancer|necromancy]]. They are arrogant, conceited tsunderes, demanding only the very best in a potential human mate. Unless you feed them garlic, whereupon they turn into a horny, submissive slut.

[[Category:Literature]][[Category:Roleplaying]][[Category:Monsters]][[Category:Undead]][[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]]

1984

2018-08-01T17:11:55Z

2602:304:B26C:4D20:D33:379:A331:646F: /* Warhammer 40k's grimdark elements inspired from 1984 */

[[File:Big brother 1984.jpg|center|450px|thumb|[[Kane|BIG BROTHER LIVES IN DEATH! BIG BROTHER LIVES! PEACE THROUGH POWER!]]]]

[[Grimdark]] has always been a concept of humanity living in the worst environment as possible, and there is not even a single joy can be found in [[grimdark]]. 1984 is such example of grimdark. It is a novel by George Orwell (real name Eric Arthur Blair, but he didn't use it on his books because reasons) published in 1949. It is primarily about what happen if the government has the complete control of everyone, [[How Imperial Life Is Worse Than You Can Imagine|where you will be watched everyday and being forced to believe whatever lies the government said, or else you'll be tortured and mind-raped to absolute despair]]. This book is basically the inspiration to all grimdark totalitarian dictatorships, including [[Paranoia]] and [[Warhammer 40k]].

The scariest parts are the fact that the book is merely a chronicle of the evils humanity is capable of; not dangerous aliens or demons, just us, not to mention the fact that Oceania was inspired by a real-life nation; Soviet Russia (Stalin's regime). In fact, in the books Big Brother has a mustache (mentioned near the end) [http://cdn.history.com/sites/2/2013/12/joseph-stalin-AB.jpeg just like said tyrannical dictator]. There is also a [http://dystopiannightmare.com/the-gas-chamber-horror-of-north-koreas-gulag/#more-989| certain rogue country] '''still around today''' that looks too similar to bear (since Kim-Il-Sung was also inspired by Stalin). However, it should be noted the book is a condemnation of tyranny and dictatorships in general, due to how similar all the three nations involved in some eternal war are. Like, you could switch around their names, and not tell the difference. (One of Nazi Germany's goals was to make an endless war and scapegoating others. Wells himself was a notable anti-fascist, having fought in the Spanish Civil War on the communist side)

Ironically enough, Orwell would in fact sell out friends to the british goverment by ratting them out if they were gay (a crime at the time).

== Plot ==
[[File:Winston smith rat torture.jpg|right|300px|thumb| [[skaven|YES. YES. ME PUNISH FOOLISH VERY SCARE HUMAN PLEASE CRY CRY]]]]
In [[Hive|Airstrip One, Oceania]], a middle-aged member of [[Administratum|the Ministry of Truth]], Winston Smith, isn't happy about his life. He's sick of doing the same thing every day; helping the government spread their propaganda, being exhausted at work, his home life dominated by his telescreen (pretty much "IN SOVIET RUSSIA, TV WATCHES YOU!", and woe betide anyone who breaks or turns theirs off), never getting laid (except for a far back encounter with an elderly prostitute; ) and not having enough to eat. But his life changes when he meets his co-worker, twenty-something brunette Julia. Despite coming across as a model citizen, even being a member of the [[Sisters of Cleaning|anti-sex league]], Julia gives him a secret message which says "I love you." After meeting her outside their work, they talk and Julia and Winston decide to [[Heresy|give each other what they want]], which is something the party considers [[Blam|unacceptable]]. Winston has a fun time [[Slaanesh|fucking Julia]], [[Tzeentch|learning about the past]] ,[[Nurgle|eating the real food the upper class gets]] and [[Khorne|writing in his notebook about how much he hates The Party]]. During this time, Winston's co-worker O'Brien introduces himself as a member of the secret anti-government Brotherhood and recruits Winston and Julia.

They receive a book on the Brotherhood's ideals and are instructed to continue with their affairs until called on by them. They do, making the inn where they had their first tryst their secret love nest. After a sex session, they start reading up on the Brotherhood (which can be summed up as idealist English Socialism). During a later tryst, they are found out and arrested by the [[Inquisition|Thought Police]], who had been spying on their room through a telescreen hidden behind a painting (the innkeeper is revealed to be an undercover Thought Police commander). They are beaten and taken to the Ministry of Love to be brainwashed. There, Winston is reunited with O'Brien, [[Just as Planned|and finds out that O'Brien is actually a top-level government agent; his "recruitment" of Winston and Julia, and maybe even the Brotherhood itself, was part of a sting operation]]. O'Brien [[Dark Eldar|tortures Winston to the brink of death and insanity]], then when Winston starts to succumb to the brainwashing O'Brien nurses him back to health. After he monitors Winston in his sleep and finds out that Winston still loves Julia and hates Big Brother, O'Brien sends him to the dreaded Room 101 to meet his [[Skaven|worst fear]] where he his finally broken. Months after being successfully brainwashed by the party Winston meets Julia again, who is also brainwashed, and both are uncertain about their futures and no longer love each other. In the end Winston despairs so much he cannot even commit suicide, believes that [[derp|2+2=5]], and loves [[God-Emperor of Mankind|the Party's figurehead leader, Big Brother]].

And ''that's'' when he is finally shot, or not. You see, all that torture the party has done to Winston only killed his "self", meaning he no longer exists as a thinking individual. He exists only as a puppet of the Party, forever selfless, forever loving Big Brother. While the party threatens to murdered Winston with a single shot from a gun, they never did.

Winston's self is the part that makes him human and unique — it essentially is Winston. And now that it is dead, he waits only for his soulless shell of a body to die as well.

== Warhammer 40k's grimdark elements inspired from 1984 ==

* '''The Big Brother''': Big Brother is the omnipotent figurehead created by the ruling Party for those poor bastards to worship (while Big Brother may or may not exist in 1984, the God-Emperor of the Imperium in 40k does exist), and like with real-world religious fundamentalists sex is even considered evil because it takes away veneration from the God-figure. However, despite the totalitarian fanaticism, the society that did inspire 1984 (the Soviet Union) was militantly atheistic with the veneration of certain figures being a Cult of Personality, and even then it was only for Party members; most of Russia's proles remained Eastern Orthodox but only kept it to themselves for fear of [[Blam]] by the government.

* '''Constant Surveillance''': In 1984, there are these shitty TV networks that were created to stalk you and troll you everyday call the "telescreens" and you cannot turn them off. If you somehow manage to turn one off, you will be captured by the thought police and have your ass beaten. There are other surveillance devices such as helicopters (for tall apartment buildings), thought polices, and even your own children (damn government bribed them with candy and their version of the Scouts is Thought-Police Jr). The only people who are free from this nightmare are the underclass Proles, and that's because they're so dumb the Party considers them animals who do not give a fuck about politics, doing nothing but work, drink and wank to porn. Yes, you yourself are one such filthy dumbass Prole, using this Telescreen for hentai instead of [[/tg/ gets shit done|actually doing something]]. In Warhammer 40k, there are the secret police of the Inquisition which have psykers reading people's mind everyday, and Adeptus Arbites who serve [[derp|fair justice]] to common proletarians everyday. Also noted that in the Age of Apostasy, Goge Vandire had [[Servo-skull|Cherubim]] installed everywhere to act as his own telescreens for whatever the fuck he had his minds on.

* '''In The Grim Darkness Of The Far Future There Is only War''': In 1984, eternal war is the best way for Oceania (which is composed of the Americas, the British Isles (called "Airstrip One" in the novel), Iceland, Australia, New Zealand, and southern Africa below the River Congo... [[Skub|according to Oceania]]) to have their lonely [[Ork|excuse for fun]]; they wage unnecessary wars with <s>friendly</s> countries that are almost exactly the same as they are, using the lands of unaligned countries as the battlefield, the inhabitants of those areas being forced to live in constant slavery under whichever power controls them at that time. All of this is so they can justify their brutal military junta, which is in place to preserve the [[Games Workshop|status quo]]. This involves spending most of their money on building more [[Stormraven|flying metal boxes]] or floating fortress, a massive waste of force labors that locks up people to build useless cargo ships. The party never giving benefits to their own people who are cramped into [[Hive|1000 meters-high city prisons for your grandmother to live in]]. Oceania's neighbors (assuming they even exist) are [[Eldar|Eurasia(Europe and Russia)]] and [[Tau|Eastasia(all of Asia except for Russia)]], who are just as much of a shithole like Oceania and they are constantly changing sides because they know the war is mutually beneficial. Once they are done buttsecks with each others for resources, they would backstab their allies and making their old enemy a new ally. Again, they three countries (assuming they are three separate countries, and not just a world-spanning Oceania faking a war with itself) let their ex-ally backstab them on purpose, just to make sure the war never ends, just to make sure the benefits are always funneling into the national treasury.

* '''The Ministry of (love, truth, peace, plenty)''': In 1984, the Oceania had their own departments of powers to control their filthy peasants. Despite their organization have names like truth and love, it is actually the opposite. The Ministry of truth is basically [[Administratum]], where all the history records and documents were "true" and they are certainly not destroyed or rewritten to provide false propaganda. You dispute this? Ha! Where's your proof? Oh please, memories are faulty things. The Ministry of love is where all the heretics are cared with "love" and the staff members will definitely not treat them with unorthodox methods of torture or mind rape, or both. The Ministry of Peace is the army. The Ministry of plenty is the food distribution to provide "plenty" for all and certainly not feed the upper class while keeping everyone else in a famine.

==See Also==
[[File:1984.jpeg|right|300px|thumb|He is watching you, and waiting for you to do something heretical.]]
*[[Imperium|Imperium Of Man]]
*[[Grimdark]]
*[[Communism]]
*[[Paranoia]]

[[category: Literature]]

Transformers

2018-08-01T17:09:01Z

2602:304:B26C:4D20:D33:379:A331:646F: /* Prime */

[[File:Generation 1 by DonFig.jpg|800px|thumbnail|center|And these are just your characters from G1!]]

'''Transformers''' is a series of Robot Toys created by [[Hasbro]] and Takara Tomy that typically turn into cars and other vehicles. Robots are cool, cars are cool and so they became popular. In 1984 they made some comics and a cartoon show. The comics show created a lot of toy sales and the toys kept the shows and comics popular. Over the years they changed things up to sell more toys and new series were made, some worked quite well (Beast Wars, Prime) others did not (Armada, Energon, Cybertron).

Why has there never been a roleplaying game about this shit? Only [[/co/|comics, cartoons,]] [[/a/|anime,]] [[/v/|and finally video games.]] So much potential. Seriously, it's a setting about sentient, shapeshifting robots fighting a war that spans motivations from political to racial to theological. Fuck, there weren't ''any'' tabletop Transformers games beyond [[Ameritrash|the usual tie-in bullshit]] until 2018 when Hasbro announced an official Transformers CCG. How the fuck has nobody realised the money-making potential there?

==Main Guys==
As the series come and go, a certain bevvy of characters seem to be archetypal to the Transformers. Not helped by the fact that, ever since the flop of ''Beast Machines'' and the riotous financial successes of the Bay, Hasbro seems to only ever stick with recycling Generation One, with some other characters jumping continuities. These are the Transformers who appear in some form or another in every iteration of the setting.

*'''Optimus Prime''': Leader of the Autobots, [[Lawful Good]] to the computer-core, the Big Red Hero-bot himself. There's always an Optimus leading the Autobots, and he usually turns into some kind of red truck or hauler. His name is the Latin words for "best" and "first", and he really is both. In the original show (and in the Michael Bay movies -- one of the decent things about them -- and Transformers Prime and the Cybertron games), he was voiced by Peter Cullen, whose awesome deep voice you probably hear in your head whenever you read any of his dialogue. Check it out: ''"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings."'' Also has the record of dying the most times out of anyone ever, making one wonder how the hell the GM lets him get away with it each time. Might be because he always goes out fighting, never like a punk.

*'''Megatron''': If there's an Optimus Prime, there's always a Megatron, the Evil (of some flavor, depending on the series) to his Lawful Good. Megsy remains pretty consistent throughout his appearances, usually varying only in what level of honor he has (which usually depends on his backstory; sometimes he started as a charismatic gladiator turned freedom fighter against the corrupt Cybertronian government -- [[Angron]], anyone? -- but sometimes he's just nuts) and/or how much of a cold-blooded psychopath he is. He used to turn into a gun (which could inexplicably shrink down to be small enough to be wielded by another Decepticon or even the occasional ''human''), with the <s>barrel</s> scope giving him a wicked arm cannon in robot mode, but nowadays he usually turns into a tank or a jet. He was first voiced by Frank Welker, whose versatile voice was also used for just about every other Decepticon except for Starscream (and probably at least one role in just about every cartoon ever made). David Kaye did a bang-up job voicing Predcacon Leader Megatron in Beast Wars, ''Yeeesss''.
**'''Galvatron''':Whenever there is a Megatron there is a Galvatron. He's everything you love about the M taken up to eleven. This guy is seriously bad news, he's probably insane and violent enough to give Doombreed pause and he's probably the strongest non-God transformer there is in G1 comics it takes a friggin' time vortex to finally put him down. After a dying Megatron found himself adrift in space, he had a lovely chat with the physical Cybertronian God,Unicron who reconstructed him into this indentity. Didn't work for long though; Galvy kind of went off the reservation pretty quickly.

*'''Bumblebee''': The yellow kid-friendly one, he's usually the main one to interact with the resident token humans. He usually turns into a sports car. Can be surprisingly badass in some adaptations -- his ''Beast Wars'' counterpart, Cheetor, went on to basically take Optimus Primal's place as leader of the Maximals in ''Beast Machines''. In the Michael Bay movies, he became a mute who talks only in radio quotes/beeps and boops like a 60s robot which just got ANNOYING. His Prime Counterpart retained the mute quirk, but his voicebox was eventually repaired by the time of the sequel series.

*'''Grimlock''': A fuckmothering [[AWESOME|robot Tyrannosaurus]] that usually breathes fire. He's the leader of a pack of other robot dinosaurs called the '''Dinobots'''. He's not exactly smart (well sometimes, he's either a stupid beast or a no nonsense leader with a speech problem), but who cares about that? HE'LL FUCKING EAT YOU. No seriously he once ripped Shockwave's arm off and ate it.

*'''Starscream''': Megatron's loud-mouthed, whiny, scheming, sneaky, backstabbing second-in-command who always wants to lead the Decepticons. He is neither strong enough to bump Megsy off, [[Sindri Myr|smart enough to trick him to his death]], or [[Eliphas|charismatic enough to persuade others he's a better boss]]. Sometimes Megatron himself wonders why he keeps Starscream around, but (when the writers remember) he is actually an extremely competent air commander who leads The Seekers, Decepticons who are typically recolors of him with the most prominent being Skywarp and Thundercracker. In Animated, the Seekers were replaced by actual clones all named after classic Seekers with the only one original to the series being [[Rule 63]]. Starscream usually turns into the latest and greatest fighter jet (unless he's turning into some Cybertronian future-jet) historically an F-15, F-16, or F-22. In the original cartoon, his catchphrase (delivered in the classic 80s-villain screech as his first voice actor also voiced the similarly screechy Cobra Commander in G.I. Joe) was probably ''"Decepticons, RETREEEAT!"'' Was also voiced by fucking Tom ''"Spongebob Squarepants"'' Kenny in Animated; man, is that a blow to your dignity. Nowadays, though, he's more consistently competent (and given a more menacing voice by [[Steve Blum]] in Transformers Prime). Is such a total backstabbing traitor that "The Starscream" has entered pop-culture as a term to describe someone who seems more dedicated to fucking his own team over in ostensible pursuit of power than to actually beating the guys he's supposed to fight.

*'''Soundwave''': A major character for the Decepticons as Megatron's legitimately loyal number two. Is also the biggest source of nostalgia because he turns into a fucking tapedeck. <strike>Even though he lacks a personality</strike>'''SOUNDWAVE SUPERIOR; PAGE WRITER INFERIOR''', he manages to be awesome merely through dogged determination and because he's the one guy who'll never give anyone any bullshit. He has a number of minions who turn into cassettes (or goddamn guitars in Animated's case), but the main ones are '''Rumble''' (Whose arms turn into piledrivers so he can cause earthquakes), '''Frenzy''' (Who has a sonic scream), '''Ravage''' (A fucking robot jaguar who turns into a cassette), '''Laserbeak''' and '''Buzzsaw''' (robot birds), and '''Ratbat''' (a robot bat). The IDW comic gave him an origin about how he used to be homeless due to his mind reading powers until Laserbeak and Ravage found him and helped him control them. In the Marvel G1 comics he acted as toady to whichever Decepticon had usurped Megatron that month while steadily scheming to increase his own power, making him like Starscream but actually competent. He also spoke in complete sentences and had a functioning mouth.

*'''Shockwave''': The real mad scientist of the Decepticons, whose arm is a gun and also turned into a gun in G1 (a giant flying gun). While he's also pretty loyal to Megatron, he's nowhere near Soundwave levels because his true loyalty is to pure logic. There are several times where he became an bigger threat than Megatron, requiring both Autobots and Decepticons to stop him. Most series have him involved with the Dinobots, either by creating them, or just they have major beef with him (he doesn't give a shit as he has better things to do). He's another guy who happened to be blessed by [[Steve Blum]] in the Cybertron series. The IDW comics gave him an origin about how he used to be an idealistic Noblebright senator (and Optimus' BFF) until he got unpersoned and mutilated by the corrupt Cybertronian government. Ouch. His Prime adaptation is fucking badass and intimidating, both in voice work and design, but unfortunately he suffers from Villain Incompetence Syndrome whenever the good guys show up, like so many other good bad guys.

*'''Unicron''': Unicron was originally introduced as the big bad for the '86 movie, a planet-sized, planet-eating bringer of doom (basically, if Galactus was the Death Star), voiced by ''the'' Orson Welles in his last role. The third season episode "Call of the Primitives" revealed his original, long since abandoned, origin as a planet-destroying creation of an alien mad scientist. Later media, beginning with the Marvel comics, changed his origin to Transformers' Satan, a god-like destroyer tricked into trapping himself inside a planet, but learned how to possess the world and reshape it into his own image. That fucking anime trilogy not only pulled this interpretation back, but made it "official", saying there's only one Unicron in the entire multiverse - at least, they tried. The comics pay more attention to it, but the shows tend to avoid it; witness Prime, where Unicron is actually sleeping at the heart of Earth instead of running around eating planets.

*'''Primus''': The Emprah to Unicron's Chaos God, except he's an actual god... who actually transformed into a planet and fell asleep for a fuckton of years. In this form, he became Cybertron and created the Cybertronian race. Like his evil counterpart, Unicron, he hails from the 80's comics and didn't make an appearance on screen (other than references to a pseudo-Bible named the "Covenant of Primus" in ''Beast Wars'') until the Energon Trilogy, which is where he's stayed.

==Generation One==
The original, the alpha iteration, the place where it all to began. Sometimes mockingly called Geewun because of the nostalgia fags who hate on everything that come after it. No matter how good they are. At the time, it was just called "The Transformers", with a "four-issue limited series" from Marvel that ended up running for 80 issues, a cartoon by the same name for three seasons (and two more seasons in Japan) from 1984-87 and the animated film "The Transformers: The Movie" in 1986. The movie's soundtrack is awesomely 80's, and it features the amazing song "The Touch" when Optimus Prime fights Megatron. Quite literally, this movie shit all over Bay's multi-million crappers... and that's the problem; the movie was so good that it marked the peak for the young franchise and it began a downhill slide from there, with the show scrambling to cope with all the losses (yeah, lots of people died here, even Optimus), while the toys began getting gimmickier without getting better.

The "Generation One" title was applied retroactively after Hasbro released the "Generation 2" line in 1993. By the way, G2 was the reason Transformers was considered dead for most of the 90's. The comic was that cheap sort of [[Edgy|"gritty for no real reason"]] the 90's was infamous for and the toys had pretty much burned themselves out and no gimmick could really help them on that. There was also a short-lived "Transformers G2" show, but it was just G1 with new CGI openings/endings and scene changes, so it only lasted a few episodes before flopping.

Of note is that if you want to experience G1 without having to dig up the eps from some torrent or Netflix, you can get ''Transformers Devastation'', which is essentially a G1 ep in vidya form produced by Platinum Studios, the guys responsible for balls-to-the-walls hypefests like ''Metal Gear Rising'', ''Bayonetta'', and ''The Wonderful 101'' (aka /m/ the game). Most of the actors are present, there's murderfests and speed, and big bosses. Also you get to run idiots over (but no pedestrians). Only letdown is the short length of the game and the lack of a Decepticon story and Abominus.
===Marvel's The Transformers===
What a lot of people who weren't kids in 1984 may not remember is that the first piece of long-form Transformers fiction ever was not the cartoon, but the Marvel comic book, produced in direct partnership with Hasbro as an expansion on the toy bios and character names that Marvel had already written to jam the random designs that had been licensed from Takara into a cohesive toyline. Most of the themes and tropes that people think of as "Transformers" were developed by Marvel, from the idea of living robots coming to Earth in search of energy to the most common origin for the planet-eating Unicron. Sometimes, Marvel published gripping stories exploring the dynamic of mechanical life forms adapting to an entirely alien environment and the humans caught in their crossfire. Sometimes they published stories about robot professional wrestling and evil car washes. Still, the stories had soul, and the comic ended up lasting a full year after the toyline it was made to promote ended in America. (As a sign of the times, one of the reasons the comic was canceled were its low sales of ''70,000 copies an issue.'')

British kids got an additional treat in the form of original stories from Marvel's UK division, printed in between serialized edits of the US issues in weekly installments. Most of these were done by the inimitable '''Simon Furman,''' who went on to write the US Transformers comic as well and has become the most prolific writer of Transformers fiction in the world.

==Beast Wars==
The first Western-released sequel to G1 (there were two Japanese-only continuations to G1 that never got released outside of Japan and the G2 comic mentioned above), a CGI show created by Mainframe (also responsible for ReBoot and [[War Planets]]). Set up as a "loose sequel" to G1, it involves new transformer races called "Maximals" (Autobots) and "Predacons" (Decepticons).

A Predacon terrorist leader styling himself after the original Megatron, including taking his name, hijacks an artifact with a mysterious connection to Megatron the first and goes on the run into deep space with a band of terrorists, planning on restarting the Great War and this time causing a Predacon victory. A Maximal deep-space exploration vessel commanded by Optimus Primal attempts to intercept, and both vessels end up stranded on a mysterious alien world, where an overabundance of raw energon forces them to adopt the forms of local fauna to preserve themselves. The two forces promptly start trying to wipe each other out and then escape the planet. There's also a sideplot involving an ancient alien civilization that ends itself just before the Season 3 finale.

They would eventually find out that this strange world was actually Earth, which was where Megatron II was trying to get all along, and they find the wreckage of the Ark of the original series, when new Megatron decides to headshot Prime in order to change the future for his benefit. It kinda flops when new Optimus takes part of old Optimus's soul, gets another upgrade, and becomes sorta-truck. It inspires Megatron II to try the same trick with his namesake, turning himself into a huge firebreathing dragon-bot.

Though Hasbro would mostly consign this story to oblivion after Beast Machines, the characters of Blackarachnia (sexy spider-bot who changes from evil to good thanks to love) and Waspinator (the walking punching bag who the heroes almost invariably blow up only to be fixed later), along with the concept of the Spark (essentially, Transformers' souls) would be re-used in later eras. More importantly, this show saved the franchise after Generation 2 almost killed it.

==Beast Machines==
Sequel series to ''Beast Wars''. On returning to Cybertron, our heroes are attacked by armies of transforming cookie-cutter drones. It eventually turns out that Megatron broke free from the Maximals' prison and flew back to Cybertron before them; he infected the entire planet with a cyber-virus that put them all into comas, ripped out their hearts/souls and stashed them in some hidden bunker, and melted down their bodies to rebuild them into mindless robot slaves.

Awesomely grimdark concept, but hampered by two huge flaws. Firstly, a super-annoying green aesop, which was very clumsily handled because this is a planet of talking robots, not nature. More importantly, major character derailment - it was made by a different team to ''Beast Wars'', and they weren't even allowed to watch the first series to familiarize themselves with how the Maximals were supposed to behave, so it'd be "more accessible".

Probably the reason why Hasbro only recycles G1 instead of trying to do its own thing with new shows, the way these two shows did. Even though it was their own damn fault, because they ''made'' this series into what it was. Time has been kinder to it, though, after the initial rage and denouncement.

==Robots in Disguise (2001)/Car Robots==
An obscure anime that came out roughly a few months before ''Armada''. Best known for its gag dub and general comedic focus that makes it surprisingly laughable, and certainly more fun to watch than any of the ''Energon Trilogy''. Usually forgotten about, except for the fact that Megatron here has six fucking modes of transformation (ten after upgrading to Galvatron). In this series Decepticons are instead Predacons like Beast Wars with actual Decepticons being created mid-series, starting with an evil clone of Optimus called "''Scourge''". General consensus is that is far from the best or worst series, it's just "meh."

==Energon Trilogy==
Comprised of the shows ''Armada'', ''Energon'', and ''Cybertron'', which are also called the ''Unicron Trilogy'' due to the antagonist's return to the spotlight after being virtually nonexistent since The Movie. Anime reinterpretation of G1, decaying from "poor but watchable" to "completely unwatchable drek" for all the reasons people hate [[/a/]]: bad dubbing, overly lengthy scenes of nothing, a shift to crappy CGI, and a plot that is so terribly paced and search-questy that you'd be praying for your GM to be railroading this. On the plus-side: competent badass Starscream (who unfortunately inspired a whole generation of [[Edgy|Linkin Park listening wannabes]]). On the downside: far too much focus on humans and not enough on giant robots trying to kill each other. Kicker, from the later series, is considered one of the worst human sidekicks the Transformers have ever had.
It has been said that, for all the failings of ''Beast Machines'', at least it's better than Armada and Energon.

===Galaxy Force===
Transformers Galaxy Force, The show that was butchered into Transformers Cybertron is more fondly remembered by fans. As it made of the strange choice of dubbing a male character into a woman. While butchering most of the series by making it a gag-dub by giving [[derp| alien robots stupid accents]]. While putting dialouge over scenes that didn't require them. The kids are also less annoying while the dub shoehorned in older versions of the Armada and Energon brats at the last minute during the final episode. This is because Gonzo created it as independent entry until Hazblow retconned it into the Energon trilogy.

==Michael Bay Films==
The dark force known as Michael Bay brought Transformers back as a series of live-action + CGI movies. Considered the [[Matt Ward]] of the Transformers universe, Bay's movies are rage-inducing [[fail]]s that have far too much focus on annoying human characters and on lowbrow humor. Seriously, in the first movie, we don't get to see an Autobot for, like, thirty minutes while dealing with very bland characters who get billed way too much, and we have to facepalm our way through an awful gag about Bumblebee basically ''pissing on a guy''. The second one is no better with two black/redneck stereotypes as ''heroes'', a gag about balls, and a two-for-one gag about farting/incontinence - from a Transformer, no less. Real classy, Bay.

About the only shallow redeeming qualities it has is that the CGI Transformers look amazing (even if some neckbeards have cracked up over how they're "not accurate" to the G1 character modes), the fight scenes are suitably glorious for giant alien death-machines ripping each other to pieces (when you can see it clearly), and most importantly is it has introduced Transformers to a whole new generation of fans, who can hopefully be shown the good stuff instead of thinking this garbage is the true representative of the setting.

After the trilogy Bay made a fourth movie which actually manages to make some considerable improvements (not that it was that hard), like a lot more of focus on Optimus Prime, killing the scrappy comic relief during the first part of the movie and more consistent fighting scenes, plus DINOBOTS! charging the enemy. There is also more grimdark as Optimus finally decides enough is enough after having tried to protect mankind for more than five years while having his whole team slaughtered by those he sworn to protect, and pulls a gun against a human frakker who was teaming up with the mercenary Lockdown to kill Autobots and use their remains to make their own giant robots that turn into cars (except instead of literally creating Galvatron last time, this time it's like the T-1000 where they turn into nanobot swarms). On the downside, though, the humans are still pointless tagalongs (though this is a new set of humans, no Shia Lebouf to be found here), there are more pointless stereotypes (Like Weeaboo Samurai-bot Drift, Crosshairs who gets a fucking trenchcoat when he transforms, and Hound, [[Awesome|who somehow has a cigar and a wire-beard]]), the Dinobots don't even show up until the last few minutes of the movie, and there's this ridiculous need to hammer in the "us vs. them" mentality between the humans making their own Transformers and Lockdown trying to kill Optimus because he's betrayed their makers by siding with the humans.
Than everything goes to shit during "The Last Knight". While ripping off the "Earth is Unicron" thing from Transformers Prime.

==Animated==
G1 inspired series with notoriously unusual but smooth animation. This time, Optimus Prime and his crew are lowly space janitors who stumble across a superweapon from the Great War and have to defend it against Megatron ('''GIVING HIM A GODDAMN ENGLISH ACCENT FUCK YES'''), who seeks to use it to restart the war and this time ensure Decepticon victory. This version's Optimus is much younger and less experienced than usual; funnily enough, he was voiced by the actor who voiced Megatron in Beast Wars. Generally noted for having the best human sidekick (who turns out to really be part-transformer anyways). The other Autobots also tend to have some interesting characterizations from "Complete dumb muscle who surprisingly knows everything about building [[Webway|Space Bridges]]" Bulkhead to "[[Weeaboo]] Robo-Ninja" Prowl to "MY EGO IS AS BIG AS MY CHIN AND MY ASSHOLEITUDE IS EVEN BIGGER!" Sentinel Prime. The Decepticons sometimes do better vis ze German schizophrenic Blitzwing, the [[Lorgar|borderline-religiously loyal]] Lugnut, and badass robo-Clint Eastwood Lockdown.

The series was weird in that alongside the Decepticons were also some gimmicky human villains, from a Shakespearean Robin Hood knockoff, to a cute little girl who's a mad scientist, to another mad scientist who rips off Transformer heads to replicate an old G1 gimmick. These villains were a bit ridiculous, but it helped break up the monotony of the constant 'con fighting, especially when Megatron was reduced to a state worse than [[Abaddon]] as a head. The creators came up with the idea to emphasize just how dangerous the 'cons are, compared to their Autobot opponents; when ''one'' 'con shows up, it's an emergency that takes the whole team to try and pull out a win. Hell, ''Starscream'' could beat up the entire Autobot team in his first few appearances before they figured out how to handle him.

==Cybertron Series==
There were many, MANY, video games made for every part of the Transformers, but most of them ranged from forgettable to utter shit to [http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Transformers:_Mystery_of_Convoy memetically terrible.] The closest we got to a good original game series (so no whining about the Movie-Games) were the games ''War for Cybertron'' and ''Fall of Cybertron'', both made by High Moon Studios.

These games act as the [[Horus Heresy]] to G1's 40k by explaining how Optimus became a leader and how Megatron became a dictator while their war and its demand eventually destroyed their homeworld. (These games are also technically part of the backstory for Hasbro's "Aligned continuity" shared with Transformers Prime and a couple prose stories, but as usual there are enough discrepancies to throw a wrench in that quite nicely.) While the gameplay itself isn't much more than a basic third-person shooter, the vast amount of references to the rest of the series and the rather well-written story and characters make it stand out. ''Fall of Cybertron'' may be considered one of the most grimdark settings to see wide release, while not being as totally ham-handed with it as Beast Machines. It also helps that the second game gave some bonus variety in some segments by giving you a level as MOTHERFUCKING GRIMLOCK, and another where you get to play as a combiner (who has an awesome helicopter-arm, but is otherwise not very memorable besides being huge.) Overall great fights, no crappy human sidekicks, an awesome OST and all the grimdarkness needed to make any neckbeard enjoy it quite much, also ESCALATION mode will ensure you endless hours of good bloodless carnage.

There is a (sorta) third game called ''Rise of the Dark Spark'', which decides to make the stupid decision of merging this series to the Bayformers continuity. It was released as tie in game with fourth movie and has less of budget, clearly shown with its number of glitches, lack of variety in levels (mostly just enemies till the game lets you move on) and downright ugly environments for the levels set on Earth. The only thing to remember is that the Cybertron segments are still awesome, while later parts will just shoehorn you with mutebee and Drift (who at least has an awesome special attack), with one level playing as Grimlock again and lacking any Decepticon plot post-Cybertron.

===Prime===
G1 inspired CGI series that somehow salvages the fairly decent elements of Michael Bay's crapfest movies (e.g. Peter Cullen and Frank Welker reprising their respective roles, artstyle, some character elements/background lore, [[Rip and Tear]]), takes place in the same universe as the Cybertron games and crafts an awesome show out of it. Animation is fucking amazing, with fight scenes that rival if not trump the Michael Bay films. Very dark and gritty as well, where one of the Autobots [[Awesome|(voiced by the Rock himself, mind you)]], gets whacked in ''the first episode.'' The Autobots are not only outnumbered and outgunned by the Decepticons, but they also have to contend with MECH, a human terrorist organization that seeks to cannibalize Cybertronians for their advanced technology.

The biggest problem with this series is Miko, who competes with Kicker (from the abovementioned ''Energon Trilogy'') for the title of worst human character in Transformers history. Obnoxiously gung-ho and always charging off into danger, even when told not to, invariably making things worse for the Autobots in the process. Still, this series easily has some of the best human characters otherwise, most notably Agent Fowler, who in the company of giant alien killing machines manages to be a badass in his own right. Even Miko managed to get better as the series went on, learning from her mistakes and not being such a load. She even managed to take out a Decepticon at one point.

Then there's Predacons Rising; the made-for-tv movie meant to serve as a series finale... it was questionable at best. Plot holes everywhere, very little focus on the actual Predacons in the title, and characters doing stupid and random things to simply fit the plot. It was basically a segue into the next series; Robots in Disguise.

===Robots in Disguise===
In this series Prime's relegated mentor-figure role, while Bumblebee (once again with a voice) has to take command of an ex-con, a stickler, and a slightly-smarter Grimlock in helping some kid and his dad's junkyard and detaining runaway Decepticon inmates, all of whom aren't related to the main bads, so this series was more original than most of the kiddie-aimed series. There was a 'con in it called Slapper. The show really doesn't become good until the Starscream miniseries after season three, and the Soundwave/Autobot Counsel arc of the fourth season. Which also introduces combiners into the Prime/Cybertron continuity.

==Oddities==
There have been a ''lot'' of Transformers series out there. Many of them are just spinoffs of G1 or silly throwaways like [[What|Transformers Mr. Potato Head,]] but some of them are good enough or just weird enough to be worth mentioning here. For full details, see TFWiki below.
===Transformers Rescue Bots===
The 30-minute toy commercial for the preschool-focused "Rescue Bots" toyline. In the same continuity as Transformers Prime above, which would lead to much lulz if the writers ever had the balls to let them cross over to any significant degree. Features four young Autobots who slept through the whole war in stasis and were recalled to Earth by Optimus Prime; being too inexperienced to handle the rigors of war with the Decepticons, they were assigned to the ''[[wikipedia:Eureka (U.S. TV series)|Eureka]]''-esque island of Griffin Rock, where they perform rescue operations with their human partners. Instead of open combat, the 'bots and their human partners battle with out-of-control inventions and mundane disasters; the only true antagonist of the series is the [[steampunk]] gentleman-scientist Doctor Morocco, voiced by [[Slaanesh| <s>Slaanesh</s> Tim Curry.]] Surprisingly watchable for a kids' show, ''Rescue Bots'' has the distinction of being the longest-running Transformers cartoon ever, with four full seasons and a sequel series on track to air in 2019.
===Unit: E===
In the third season of Transformers Prime, the writers started dropping references to other Hasbro properties like ''M.A.S.K.'' and ''G.I. Joe'' in connection with a government agency called "Unit E." This was intended to be a "backdoor launch" to a whole shared universe in the vein of the massively profitable Marvel Cinematic Universe, consisting of just about every brand Hasbro owns that has ever been remotely popular with any demographic, ever. These ranged from the sensible (''M.A.S.K.'' was another transforming-toy brand from the 80s that Hasbro absorbed, and ''G.I. Joe'' has a long history of Transformers crossovers) to the oddball but justifiable (''Jem and the Holograms'' was Hasbro's big new girl-toy push in the 80s and was occasionally used as a sight gag in the G1 cartoon) to blatant halo-effect attempts that made no sense at all ([[Dungeons & Dragons]]? Stretch Armstrong? '''''Candy Land?!''''') The framing device for this insanity was the eponymous Unit: E, a group of explorers who scanned the multiverse for "the Eerie, the Else, the Eternities of Infinity" from an installation placed in the "slipstream" outside of reality. ([[Quest:TG_Meta_Quest|Sounds kinda familiar, don't it?]])

Perhaps fortunately for all involved, this product of Marketing's cocaine-fueled fever dreams did a faceplant into the sun and nothing came of it except for a one-shot comic book released at Comic-Con and the aforementioned namedrops in Prime. Hasbro never let go of the idea of seeing if their properties would blend, though, and in 2016 IDW was given the green light to weld their previously-separate licensed comics (including Transformers, Joe, Micronauts, Rom: Spaceknight, and yes, Jem) together through a ''Secret Wars''-style crossover event called ''Revolution.'' From this point IDW's comics are set in the '''Hasbro Universe,''' with such fiction-bending events as the Decepticon Skywarp joining G.I. Joe and a multi-property superhero team called the Revolutionaries joining forces.

===Transformers: Kiss Players===
After the ignominious conclusion of the Energon Trilogy, Takara decided to make their next installment of the Transformers franchise smaller and more adult-focused. Welding the bits of their various G1-sequel lines (including the "collector's choice" ''Binaltech'' line and the grab-bag ''Robotmasters'' line) with the G1 cartoon and their own anime into a single (confusing as all hell) timeline, Transformers Kiss Players takes place immediately after the events of the 1986 movie. After Unicron exploded in 2005, the broken body of Galvatron was sent hurtling towards Earth where it (what else?) destroyed Tokyo. In response, the Earth Defense Command was formed to kick the Transformers off the goddamn planet before they blew up any other national capitals, which they did with a Transformer-hostile energy field and using the tech from Galvatron's corpse to make mass-produced Autorooper mecha. Unfortunately for them, Galvatron's reentry scattered fragments of his and Unicron's life-force into Earth's atmosphere, fragments that activated in 2006. The "Galvatron cells" fused with whatever they touched, turning them into biomechanical monsters called the Legion. Humans who came in contact with the Galvatron cells inexplicably did not turn into monsters, but instead could fuse with both Autoroopers and Transformers by ''kissing them.''

You see, Kiss Players was written by longtime Transformers fan and freelance toy designer Yuki Ohshima, who took Takara's desire for an otaku-targeted series as an invitation to ''freak the fuck out of people'' and gave them a freaky-ass magical girl horror story in the vein of ''Narutaru'' and Madoka Magica that just happened to have Transformers in it. [[Loli|A bunch of suspiciously young-looking women]] got dropped into a psychosexual nightmare in the name of shock value, and the Western Transformers fanbase crapped their pants over "pedophilia" showing up next to "their" childhood toys, accusing Oshima of wanting to [[Chris Orksen|diddle the kiddle.]] The Japanese fans, for their part, were mostly apologetic towards the Western fanbase and confused as to why the hell Takara thought that Freudian horror and moe were at all compatible with giant robots whaling on each other. The second part of the line (''Kiss Players Position'') dumped the original fiction's baggage in favor of taking cute girls on a whirlwind tour of the Transformers universe, but by that point the Western fans had already made up their mind. To this day Kiss Players is still the go-to acceptable target for "at least it's not as bad as..." jokes on TFWiki. The toys themselves were decent at least, being retools of the well-received ''Binaltech''/''Alternators'' collectible toys with vinyl loli figures packaged in the box, so picking those up is perfectly fine if you're willing to deal with faggots calling you a weeb.

== See Also ==
The idea of "giant robots turning into vehicles" is so cool that lots of homebrew and independent mecha RPGs include mechas or characters that are "totally not Transformers" to fill the void that Hasbro has seemingly refused to fill themselves. For example:

* [[Giant Guardian Generation]]
* [[Horizon]] - Mechamorphosis is literally "Transformers with the serial numbers filed off, done by way of [[Dungeons & Dragons]] 3.5".
* [[Mechagenasis]] - Another "Transformers with the serial numbers filed off" game, this time done for [[True20]].
* [[Battlechangers]] - Blatantly Transformers-based RPG, in both an original version and a [[Pathfinder]] version (Battlechangers Ironworks).
* [[Mekton]] - Extremely flexible with what it can do: the rules for transforming are simple (as far as Mekton goes anyway) and adapting to a Transformers setting is as easy as actually reading up on them, but the game's hilariously broken.
* [[Rifts]] - Some homebrew stuff floating around on the net for playing Transformers exists. Pity it relies on the godawful RIFTS mechanics...
* [[Codex: Transformers]] - A case of 1d4chan getting shit done, adapting Transformers into yet another [[Warhammer 40000]] faction.
* [[Setting:Transformers]] - A tie-in article to the above trying to develop the lore to explain why Codex: Transformers is a thing.

== External Links ==
* [http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Main_Page TFWiki.net], the unofficial Transformers wiki.

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