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Ork Gunz

2018-01-12T06:54:59Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Six-Shoota */

Da [[Orks]] love their [[Choppa]]s, make no mistake about that. But they also love putting lots of holes into [[Imperial Guard|Guardsmen]], [[Eldar|Elfdar]], Marines (both of the Spikey and Non Spikey varieties) and Nids at a distance while making a lot of noise. Thats why they have their Gunz.

== General Ideas ==
#Our shootaz fire bullets that 'splode when we pull da trigger fing, which launches da slug. Not as fancy or killy as those [[Space Marine|marine boyz]]' shootas, but it'z downright orky and any grot worth their salt can make an 'ole lot of dem in no-time.
#Da moar dakka we'z got, da killier we getz and if da boyz fire all dat dakka at da right place, we'z can even win.
#All Orkz want a shoota dat can shoot plenty of dakka, right'n proppa. We'z don't care about that "akkurashy" gubbins those 'ova gits take so much time gettin' right, if it can dakka real good an' look downright flash, we'z takin' it. Datz cuz da more we'z shoots, da more we'z hits! 
#Ork Shootaz be da damn Orkiest fing eva! Any git like dem 'oomies and point-eared gits, who ain't Orky enough, can't even shoot an Ork shoota without it 'splodin'.
#Ork Shootaz'r 'ard enough dat even if ya run outta' ammo in da middle of a scrap, you'z can krump da git wif it real good an it'll still be workin' like da mekboy jus' made it!
#Bigga is betta!
#Most of dem puny gits need to stop before shootin'. Ork'r orky enough that we'z can shoot while runnin' or eva' dyin'.
#'ERE AIN'T NO SUCH 'FING AS ENUFF DAKKA!!!! Cept when it's pointed at you, but even dat's fun sometimes...

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== Da Basikz ==

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=== Grot Blasta ===

[[File:Grot_Blasta.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Grot Blasta]]

Grots are often herded into battle by their masters to soak up some fire and provide diversions. To make them slightly more likely to survive they often cobble together or are given small and (even by ork standards) simple pistols and shotguns to bring into battle known as Blastas.

Grot Blastas are run-down, second-hand, low-tech, dust-caked pieces of junk that usually take the form of old and puny pistols and rifles that the Orks would have scrapped otherwise.

Mostly they are something to the effect of a musket made out of old pipes and BBQ lighters. Against most foes, this makes them more annoying than anything, but at least (for the grots) they are able to be annoying and score the odd kill at a distance instead of up close where they run the risk of getting squished.

There is no standardization with blastas, as is the case with almost all Ork weapons, and they can take on a myriad of shapes and sizes. They may well be looted Imperial Stub guns, Autopistols or Laspistols.

=== Gretchin Blunderbuss ===

[[File:Gretchin_Blunderbuss.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Gretchin Blunderbuss]]

A step up from your typical Grot Blasta (But not by much). Some Blastas take the form of a flare-ended blunderbusses or other double-barrelled jezzails. Most often they fire a shot of pebbles, balls, nuts, bolts or anything that can be rammed down the barrel. In battle, the 'lead' Gretchin will direct the volleys of fire at a target. Most often this takes the form of shooting at the biggest enemy, or the one with the biggest weapon. Even with the poor aim of Gretchin, chances are the target will be hit, along with any in a small area around them.

=== Sluggas ===

[[File:Slugga.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Slugga]]

A simple semi-automatic pistol with a bore diameter in the area of 30mm and the most common Ork gun you might find, allowing these primitive contraptions (comparable to rough modern firearms) to match the power of the Imperial <s>[[Lasgun|flashlight]]</s> Heavy Stubber. Hence, whilst Sluggas have very limited accuracy, they have huge stopping power, thanks to the massive shot they fire and dangerously large powder charges that propel them.

It is often crude, loud and brutish in design and designed to be used in a similar way. Usually low ranking Orks have one of these, blasting at their targets as they close in to hack them to bits, as well as pistol whipping their enemies in close quarters.

Jams and misfires are common, as is the case with most Ork weapons.

=== Six-Shoota ===

[[File:Six-Shoota.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Six-Shoota]]

Essentially a Orkified version of the Imperial Stub-Revolver. Six-Shoota is a variation of a Slugga, its short barrel usually fed from a simple mechanical revolving chamber, usually carrying six shots, hence its name. They are known as every Ork Boy'z starting equipment. Ork Mekboys often have their apprentice Spanners making Six-Shootas until they are good enough to work on more complex weapons.

It is the most basic Ork firearm, so simple any Ork boy can make it, given needed bitz. Because of it, there are always a lot of them in circulation in any Ork settlement and it often becomes a first weapon of Ork Yoof. However, given that it is less powerful then slugga and even more prone to jamming, Ork Boys usually acquire more powerful weapons as they grow older and richer. In the end, a Six-Shoota often gets scrapped or thrown towards the nearest Grot for him to modify it into a Grot Blasta.

=== Shootas ===

[[File:Shoota.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Shoota]]

An Ork assault rifle, the shoota is a fully automatic metal club used to spray hot lead inaccurately over a large target area. A shoota fires either massive bullets or explosive shells, or even a mixture of both. As is the case with most Ork weapons, they are crude but effective.

As Orks like to travel in large groups, their inaccuracy is less of a concern than one might imagine, as the sheer volume of fire they bring to bear is more than enough to hit even a small target even a few times. There is no standard design for the ork shoota- as many variants of the weapons exist as there are orks that wield them, as most are hodge-podge conglomerations of scrap metal. They often look and function like a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MG_08 Spandau machine gun], Maxim machine gun or, if the ork is particularly rich, the [[Awesome|MG42]].

=== Shoota Kannon ===

[[File:Ork_with_Kannon.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Shoota Kannon]]

A variant of a Shoota. Not to be confused with the more traditionally vehicle mounted Kannons, although it can be said that the Shoota Kannon is nothing more than a handheld version of the Kannon. They are the shotguns of the Ork arsenal and are thus primitive and simple even for Ork standards.

Kannons are simple Ork weapons, put together in huge numbers. Most of them have a single thick barrel and fire hefty shells stored in magazines or even loaded before each shot. Kannons are less popular then Shootas, because they have a very slow rate of fire and their sidekick makes them inaccurate even for Orks. Still, they are pretty loud and have a big, intimidating muzzle and so are still used by some Ork Boys.

=== Ork Blunderbuss ===

[[File:Ork_Blunderbuss.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Ork Blunderbuss]]

The Gretchin Blunderbuss' bigger brother and the Ork's literal counterpart to the [[Stubber#Blunderbuss|Imperial Blunderbuss.]] They are the hand-me-downs of broken Kannons, so we are in pretty low bar here.

Also known as the '''Spechul Shoota''', a Blunderbuss is a simple variation of a kannon, and they are often made from the wrecks of kannons which backfired and burst their barrels. A blunderbuss features a very short muzzle and uses shells made up of dozens of pellets crammed together. When it fires, it gouts a cloud of ricocheting pellets, making it very easy to hit a target. However, it suffers from a short range, as pellets lose their hitting power very quickly. It's very cheap though, and so has its uses in Ork society.

=== Burnas ===

''See main page, [[Flamer#Burnas|Burnas]]''

=== Stikk Bomb ===

Not a gun, but still worth mentioning. An overgrown ork hand grenade, built in a similar manner to a German stick grenade. Big enough to hit enemies with in close combat but this usually makes the 'nade go off in the Ork's hand, killing both him and whoever he's hitting.

=== Rokkit Launchas ===

''See main page, [[Missile Launcher#Rokkit Launcha|Rokkit Launcha]]''

== 'eavy Gear ==

=== Big Shootas ===

[[File:Big_Shoota_6.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Big Shoota]]

Big Shootas are put onto vehicles, in clustered stationary mounts, or carried by Orks that have an obsession with having the biggest, loudest and most destructive shootas possible (which they aren't even). They are heavy caliber weapons even by Ork standards used to saturate the enemy with as much heavy fire as possible. Since it clocks in right in the middle of a Heavy Stubber and a Supa Shoota it's a lot like taking a small single barrell 20mm aircraft cannon and putting in the hands of an ork, though it probably has fatter, orkier rounds. It functionally deals about as much damage (on tabletop) as a Heavy Bolter without needing to explode, the downside being it's massive recoil which da orkz fink is da best!

=== Snazzgun ===

[[File:Dh-ca-102-snazzgun.png|200px|right|thumb|Snazzgun]]

The weaponized bling that a [[Flash Gitz|Flash Git]] carries is called the Snazzgun. These guns intrinsically vary widely in design and general principle of work, so the term may refer to a bewildering variety of kustom and insanely expensive weaponry, much like a Deffgun. However one thing is always true - Snazzguns are always big, loud, rapid-firing, and assuredly deal bloody death. All Snazzguns are unpredictable and deadly on the battlefield, and can always be even further enhanced to make them even deadlier.

All Snazzguns are ostentatiously ornamented and excessively enhanced with shiny bitz and snazzy [[Squig]] skins in order to satisfy the extravagant desires of their ostentatious owners, who pay a fortune for these overdone weapons. However, such egotistical decorations have earned the scorn of many Ork boyz as being too 'flashy' and 'un-orky'.

=== Kustom Mega-Blasta ===

''See main page, [[Plasma#Kustom Mega-Blasta|Kustom Mega-Blasta]]''

=== Dakkaguns ===

[[File:Dakkaguns.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Dakkaguns]]

Dakkaguns are a twin-linked variant of Big Shoota mounted on Ork Warbikes. They have two barrels and shorter range because of their unstable mount, but otherwise are similar to Big Shootas. Since a Dakkagun have two Big Shootas and a typical ork Warbike carries two Dakkaguns, it gives a total of four Big Shootas for a small vehicle. Not bad if you ask us. Because they are mounted on a small, light bike, they make it spin out of control when fired, although Orks think this makes the bikes even better.

=== Skorchas ===

''See main page, [[Flamer#Skorcha|Skorcha]]''

=== Deffguns ===

[[File:Beamy_Deffgun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Beamy Deffgun]]

Heavy automatic cannons built from alien technology, too many teef, or usually both. Deffguns are heavy Ork weapons, fine examples of the Mek's craft that are made from all kinds of materials, mainly scavenged heavy weaponry of other races. Deffguns are so large they must be mounted on a special firing rig strapped to to an Ork's broad shoulders. No man could hope to fit into a Deffgun's rig without heavy augmetics or thick slabs of vat-grown muscle. This cumbersome rig is needed to absorb bone-breaking recoil each time the Deffgun is fired.

These provide most of the Ork's (heavy) ranged firepower, and deafen the wielder and anyone nearby. These guns buck, spark, spin and flash like no other, and are the second-deadliest infantry-portable Ork weapon. They are Imperial Autocannons in function, and sometimes in fact, but with random rate of fire because of ORKY influences.

Two known variants (or rather classification groups) of Deffgun are the '''Shooty Deffgun''', which has an extremely high rate of fire and is mainly used against infantry; and the '''Beamy Deffgun''', an energy weapon often made from a scavenged lascannon and very effective against armored target, although countless other variants like '''Plasma Deffgun''' are also known to exist. Deffguns are mainly used in battle by [[Lootas]], who can gather enough heavy weapons so that Meks can make it for them, but they can also be mounted on Ork [[Warkoptas|Warkoptas.]]

<gallery>

File:Shooty_Deffgun.jpg|Shooty Deffgun
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File:Plasma_Deffgun.jpg|Plasma Deffgun

</gallery>

== Da Big Stuff ==

=== Supa Shootas ===

[[File:Supa-Shoota.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Supa Shoota]]

Interesting to say the least. Supa Shootas are like an Ork version of an Autocannon and Assault cannon; they have close to the same tech level and effectiveness as the former, per shot power a lot like the latter, and rate of fire falling in the middle. Usually seen on some Ork fliers such as Dakkajets or Blitza-Bommers, they are "kustomized" by the Flyboyz to make a bigger bang and cause even more carnage.

The Supa Shoota it's pretty much a 30mm rapid fire Autocannon by real life standards. Would be pretty scary if the Orks actually knew how to shoot straight, which makes a bunch of Big Shootas scarier than one or two of these unless it's shooting at a tank since at least they can put out a ton of DAKKA.

=== Kannons ===

Exactly what you think they are. Except not. Kannons come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and calibers, but most common of all designs is the short-barreled, high-caliber breach-loader. The kannon actually serves the same function to Orks as the Missile Launcher does to the Imperium, capable of firing a solid shell or penetrating explosive for vehicle busting, or a canister shot or fragmentation shell to tear up infantry. Too heavy to be carried by even an Ork, these metal beasts are usually mounted on vehicles or artillery wagons, and have a longer reach than the Rokkit Launcha. In [[Gorkamorka]], kannons were an ork portable weapon roughly comparable to an ork shotgun, but nowadays these weapons are known as speschul shootas.

=== Lobbas ===

Essentially a big metal pot jammed with gunpowder and a bomb, usually in that order. The Lobba serves as an Orkish mortar, and is favored by Grot artillery crew for being able to kill things without the enemy having to see you. The huge recoil it generates relegates it to be mounting on vehicles or artillery carts. It is powerful, but most armor will deflect its blast.

=== Zzap Guns ===

A unique piece of technology crafted by energy-loving Mekboyz, a Zzap gun is a rough approximate to a Lascannon. Roughly. The gun consists of a metal barrel covered in wires, a capacitor, and a power source. The crew use a lever (which electrocutes the user) to determine the charge built up in the capacitor before firing a literal lightning bolt at the target. The gun defies all known physics, and the power supply is so heavy that it must be mounted. The unpredictable effectiveness of the weapon deters some Warlords from using it, but if Lady Luck smiles upon your green, hairless hide, you might be able to bring down Land Raiders.

=== Shokk Attakk Gun ===

''See main page, [[Warp Weapons#Shokk Attack Gun|Shokk Attack Gun]]''

== Kustomisations ==

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=== Twin-Linked ===

When an Ork feels that his gun just isn't loud or killy enough, he'll get the nearest Mek to weld on another barrel and make it shoot twice the dakka. The fact that both barrels are still fed from a single magazine doesn't overly bother anyone.

=== Kombi-Weapons ===

If an Ork wants his gun to shoot different types of dakka he'll nail, tape or weld on another gun (like, say, a Skorcha or Rokkit Launcha).

=== Twin-Mags ===

If an Ork wants to shoot twice as long before reloading, he'll simply shove a second magazine into the hole where the shells come out of. No one knows where the shells go after this, but most agree that they also somehow get shot out of the barrel. (So essentially 65% more bullet, per bullet.)

== Looted Stuff ==
Orks use all of the crap that they swipe off dead enemies, especially their guns. No matter the foe, every Ork and Grot in the warband swarms the battlefield post-fight to pick up the best gubbins for themselves. Deff Skulls especially enjoy this practice (as well as stealing the best bits from the enemy beforehand, and from their buddies later). When an Ork either can't use the weapon, wants it tricked out, or feels that the gun would look better [[awesome|strapped into a shoulder mount with twelve of its companions]], they take it to the local Mekboy along with a pocketful of teef. The Mekboy takes the gun and customizes it to a rough approximation of the customer's desires, filtered through the mind of the oddboy.

{{Template:40k-Ork-Weapons}}
{{template:Orks-Forces}}
[[Category:Orks]]

Shotgun

2018-01-10T04:57:30Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Notable shotguns */

{{stub}}
A '''shotgun''' is a large caliber smoothbore [[firearm]] which is designed to fire a cluster of small projectiles (once commonly lead pellets but for environmental reasons steel is more common, either way they're known as shot) in one shot, though most shotguns can also accept solid slugs. The cluster of bullets spread out to cover a wide area after exiting, taking some of the burden off of aiming and causing considerable damage to an unprotected body. It comes at the expense of hitting power and precision at long range due to the sheer spread. The earliest shotguns were large caliber muskets known as blunderbusses. Today shotguns remain widely used by police, hunters and sport shooters and see some use as a secondary weapon by soldiers. Modern-day shotguns are extremely reliable, fairly accurate (for what they are) and relative simple to produce and operate, while being devastating in close combat. The "gauge" used to measure the size of the shot used in a shell. 12 gauge means that it takes 12 lead balls of the diameter of a 12-gauge shotgun to equal one pound in weight. So 16, 20 and 28-gauge take 16, 20 and 28 lead balls of the diameter of a matching shotgun to equal one pound. This means that the higher the gauge, the smaller the shot is. 12-gauge is the most commonly used in combat, with the smaller gauges being used when hunting small prey. [[Dakka|when in doubt, carry two. If you still have doubts, attach two to your fists and two to your boots, then carry two in your hands again.]]

==Notable shotguns==
[[image:SPAS 12.JPG|thumb|300px|right|A pair of SPAS-12 Shotguns. The lower has a fixed stock and a shorter magazine tube, while the upper has its signature folding stock unfolded.]]
*'''Double Barrel:''' One of the most common shotguns available, the double-barrel is a very basic, no-frills firearm that, instead of having any sort of magazine or ammunition tube, simple has two barrels with one shot each. This simplicity and the generally low price tag makes it popular with farmers and hunters. The double-barrel is typically used for hunting and can come in side-by-side or over-and-under configurations, the latter being popular in sports shooting. Rare triple-barrel shotguns exist, but at this point you're getting a heavy hunk of metal. Double-barrels are sometimes chopped down to create a nice personal defense weapon, though this modification is oftentimes illegal.
*'''Winchester 1887:''' The shotgun made famous by Terminator 2, this is a 10-gauge lever-action shotgun, giving it a strong Old West vibe to it. Firing it one handed is not recommended unless you really are [[Deathmark|a terrifying robot assassin]]. A trick associated with this weapon is spinning it around to chamber a new shell, but unless you have an extra-wide lever that is at least as wide as two fingers you're only going to break your fingers trying to do this. Not to mention that this is very dangerous.
*'''Remington 870:''' Pretty much ''the'' pump-action shotgun. Used by everyone from hunters and sports shooters to police and elite special forces units. Tough, durable and simple to use; there's a good reason the Remington is as popular as it is. Because of this there are oodles of aftermarket parts available so that you can make your shotgun as tacticool as you want.
*'''Mossberg 500:''' The Pepsi to the Remington's Coke. The two are very similar and arguments between fans of the two are sources of major [[skub]] amongst firearm enthusiasts. In practice they are pretty much the same, with the Mossberg being lighter and cheaper than the Remington, but it does not come in as many different gauges.
*'''Benelli M4:''' Made by the Italian Benelli corporation, the M4 is famous for its wedge-shaped stock and [[video games|being the spray-and-pray stick in Counter-Strike]]. While used by civilians it is more commonly used by special forces units and police.
*'''Saiga 12:''' A Russian-made shotgun derived from the popular AK layout. It is a semi-automatic shotgun loaded via a detachable box magazine unlike the two above. Used by Russian security forces it is also popular amongst hunters because the required licence is far easier to obtain than that for a rifle. Factory-made box magazines go up to 8 and the aftermarket makes magazines for 12, 20 and even 30 shells, but the latter is very heavy, expensive and bulky.
*'''USAS-12:''' Built by a subsidiary of the Korean Daewoo (the car manufacturer) based on the AA-12, the USAS-12 is an automatic combat shotgun exclusively used by militaries. A semiautomatic version was put on the American market in the early 90's, but it was declared as to "having no sporting purpose" and was branded a "destructive device", immensely limiting its potential buyers. It has a nice 400+rpm rate of fire, allowing it to empty a 20-round drum in 3 seconds or less.
*'''AA-12:''' The Atchisson Assault Shotgun is a fully automatic shotgun most famous for its low recoil: through some clever engineering the user gets only 10% of the recoil they'd normally feel from a 12-gauge shell. This makes the AA-12 highly controllable even with its 300rpm rate of fire. It has also been associated with the FRAG-12 round, a miniature grenade the size of a 12-gauge shell. While the FRAG-12 fits in any 12-gauge shotgun, there is something [[awesome|alluring]] about being able to hold your shotgun on target while shooting 20 grenades at it in 4 seconds flat.
*'''SPAS-12:''' A shotgun with a capital SHOTGUN. It is a big honkin' piece of metal capable of double-action: it is both a gas-operated semi-automatic and a pump-action shotgun at the same time. This allows it to both act as a semi-automatic weapon with lethal shells and a pump-action weapon capable of firing bean bags, tear gas and other less-lethal shells that do not generate enough pressure to cycle the action. This is also how they are used in movies because blanks are too light as well. Movies and games almost always show the shotgun with its bulky folding stock folded in on top of the weapon. While no longer in production the SPAS-12 retains its reputation as a big, menacing son of a shotgun and fetches quite a bit on the second-hand market, even with its failure-prone safety.
*'''KAC Masterkey:''' Developed by Knight's Armament Company, the Masterkey is an underbarrel attachment for the M16/M4 assault rifles. It is essentially a short pump-action shotgun intended for breaching doors that can be slapped to the underside of a rifle so that soldiers do not need to carry around a separate weapon. To fire it the user has to shift their hands so that they hold the shotgun as normal, using the magazine of their rifle as a makeshift stock. Because of its lack of grip or stock firing a Masterkey as a stand-alone weapon is a very bad idea.
*'''Punt Gun:''' What if you wanted to shoot an entire "flock" of birds with a single shot? You could use a punt gun! (Or, you could, back in the day, but you wouldn't do it now because it's really, really illegal). Punt guns are shotguns the size of a small boat used for hunting, and only hunting because they're too stupidly large to use for combat.

==Ammunition Types==
*'''Buckshot''': The most commonly associated ammunition used in shotguns. Buckshot is a shell filled with lead balls that fire out from the barrel in a cone; how tight that cone is depends on whether the shotgun has a choke. Buckshot, as the name implies, is lethal to deer, but works just as well on humans.
*'''Birdshot''': Like buckshot, but the balls are much smaller, and as a result there's less empty space in between each ball when fired. This makes it well suited for shooting birds out of the sky. While each ball individually won't do quite as much damage, you'll definitely give someone a bad day if you hit them with it.
*'''Slug''': A solid piece of lead; this allows shotguns to be used more like a rifle in that you're aiming at a single point in space, though slug shotguns aren't quite as accurate as rifles. They are, however, much bulkier than rifle rounds, making them better suited to hunt large game.
*'''Flechette''': Instead of balls, you fill a shell with long metal needles. These are more aerodynamic than buckshot, but have less stopping power.
*'''Dragon's Breath''': What do you get when you fill a shell with metal shards and flammable liquid? A giant fireball coming out of a shotgun barrel, that's what! You'd also get a barrel full of afterburner shit, so make sure you don't fire this thing more than twice before you clean the gun, unless you like your gun exploding in your hands (hence why it's almost universally used with cheap throwaway double-barrels).
*'''Frag-12''': Mini-explosives crammed into a shotgun shell.
*'''Rubber Pellet''': These are the non-lethal rounds typically used by police. It hurts like hell to get hit by one, but at least you're not bleeding out.
*'''Breaching Round''': Made from metal powder and wax, these rounds will knock out door locks and deadbolts without ricochets, making them safe to use in close quarters. 

*It's actually quite easy to make custom ammunition for shotguns by cramming whatever the fuck can fit into a barrel into a standard slug shot maybe with some tightening. Most weapon shops even sell custom shotgun ammo kits. Sure, custom slugs more often than not have terrible accuracy, but it's invaluable in urban fantasy/mystic/horror settings where you can shoot whatever the fuck that eldritch abomination you're fighting against is vulnerable to - like wooden slugs for staking vampires from the (relatively) safe distance or saltshot against ghosts or demons. Hell, making silver shotgun slugs against werewolves is a much safer option than silver bullets for rifles or pistols if you're not a proficient smith, as poorly made slug is much less likely to jam your gun than poorly made bullet.

==The Short-Range Shotgun Fallacy==
It's a common belief amongst people that shotguns are strictly short-ranged weapons, that their particular method of firing makes them all but useless at a distance. As the title of this segment suggests, such a belief is pretty much wrong. Here's why. The primary reason this idea exists is because of /vg/; because shotguns are preferred for tight confines and urban fighting, most early shooters (other than, ironically, [[Doom]]) made shotguns do more damage the closer that you were to the target for balance, and the idea was absorbed into popular culture. The whole shotgun fallacy is similar to the flamethrower fallacy in which both weapons are actually much more accurate and longer ranged in real life rather than being only effective at less than ten feet like most video games.

The entire "shotguns are only good at short range" idea is based on the notion that when a shotgun fires, the pellets it expels will spread further and further apart as they travel, until they are so scattered they're incapable of dealing any real damage to whoever they hit. It's not entirely without basis, and in fact this was a well-known issue with the blunderbuss, but it's mostly false when it comes to shotguns.

See, unlike blunderbusses, shotguns have small, narrow barrels, rather than the tapering wide-bore muzzle of their predecessor. Thusly, whilst a shotgun shell's contents do have a scattering effect that means it's impossible to get the same pinpoint precision accuracy you would have with, say, a sniper rifle, they don't scatter anywhere near so far as a blunderbuss's shot would, even when using a wide-bore. In fact, this scattering effect is ''precisely why'' shotguns are considered the best guns for hunting with; the spread of pellets is much more likely to connect with a fast-moving target, and this is especially important when hunting birds or small game.

This said: compared to the multiple hundreds of meters effective range of rifle caliber bullets the shot gun "''is''" a short ranged weapon. What they don't tell you however is that most fire fights are short ranged anyway, which is the main reason why after world war two army's stopped using what we would call "Battle rifles" and swapped to smaller caliber assault rifles (trading in range for a higher rate of fire). For most situations a shotgun is as good as a rifle if not a little better since it's actually easier to hit your target with a shotty. The main disadvantage is that you can't carry as much ammo (the 12ga shells are bigger and heavier than the average rifle bullet), and shot is rather inefficient against body armor. TL:DR; assault rifle is more versatile than shotgun, hence AR gets used.

One of the few games that ignores the whole 'Shotguns are only useful at close range' trope is hilariously Gears of War, which is one of the most testosterone-poisoning and over the top games made. Whilst its true the Gear's shotgun instakill enemies up close, most players actually use the shotgun at it was intended, which was a mid-range weapon. It is telling when the majority of players prefer the shotgun than the iconic lancer assault rifle in open space firefights as it is amazingly accurate despite the spread and deals decent damage. There are even reports of players [[Wat|sniping with the shotgun better then most snipers.]]

==In [[Warhammer 40k]]==
Your typical generic weapon found in almost every genre, the Shotgun is a pump-action weapon utilized by the [[Imperium of Man]]. It is a short-ranged anti-personnel weapon, and easily fired accurately on the move thanks to its wide spread of fire. Regularly employed by the [[Adeptus Arbites]], the shotgun (also referred to as a scatter gun), have been around since before M3. 38,000 years later the biggest "improvement" is the addition of 50 pounds of metal, allowing it to be used as a club so that after shooting a pissed off [[Genestealer]] you have the option of boinking it on the head, but only a Space Marine would consider a 50 pound weapon useful, even as club. Probably the longest lived weapon in the Imperium (right after anything sharp or heavy), it has appeared on nearly every Imperial world and battlefield.

It is also commonly employed by [[Space Marine]] Scouts and [[Imperial Guard]] Veterans, although the [[Space Marines]] are equipped with more powerful "Manstopper" rounds. Its hail of shot can shred through flesh, but its low velocity causes it to be ineffective against armoured enemies. The [[Imperial Navy]] uses them when boarding a ship or putting down mutinies because the nature of its rounds make it unlikely (read impossible) to pierce the hull of the ship, which is a good thing. The [[Deathwatch]] have their own shotguns, mainly for the specialist ammunition they use to take down many different types of Xenos at close range.

Imperial shotguns also can use a wide variety of different ammunition, including all types of bolts for maximum firepower (though less effective than an actual [[bolter]]) (for some stupid reason), web charges for non-lethal takedowns, blazerer charges, that turn a shotgun into a nerfed flamethrower, talk charges for breaking doors, and really about anything you can fit inside the barrel, making it a great utility weapon in any FFG game.

*Range:12 | Str:4 | AP:- | Type:Assault 2 (Space Marine version, 7-th edition)
*Range:12 | Str:3 | AP:- | Type:Assault 2 (Imperial Guard version, 7-th edition)
*Range:12 | Str:4 | AP:0 | Type:Assault 2, becomes Str:5 if fired on range of 6" or less (Space Marine version, 8-th edition)
*Range:12 | Str:3 | AP:0 | Type:Assault 2, becomes Str:4 if fired on range of 6" or less (Imperial Guard version, 8-th edition)

{{40k-Imperial-Weapons}}

Ork Gunz

2018-01-10T04:50:08Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Shoota Kannon */

Da [[Orks]] love their [[Choppa]]s, make no mistake about that. But they also love putting lots of holes into [[Imperial Guard|Guardsmen]], [[Eldar|Elfdar]], Marines (both of the Spikey and Non Spikey varieties) and Nids at a distance while making a lot of noise. Thats why they have their Gunz.

== General Ideas ==
#Our shootaz fire bullets that 'splode when we pull da trigger fing, which launches da slug. Not as fancy or killy as those [[Space Marine|marine boyz]]' shootas, but it'z downright orky and any grot worth their salt can make an 'ole lot of dem in no-time.
#Da moar dakka we'z got, da killier we getz and if da boyz fire all dat dakka at da right place, we'z can even win.
#All Orkz want a shoota dat can shoot plenty of dakka, right'n proppa. We'z don't care about that "akkurashy" gubbins those 'ova gits take so much time gettin' right, if it can dakka real good an' look downright flash, we'z takin' it. Datz cuz da more we'z shoots, da more we'z hits! 
#Ork Shootaz be da damn Orkiest fing eva! Any git like dem 'oomies and point-eared gits, who ain't Orky enough, can't even shoot an Ork shoota without it 'splodin'.
#Ork Shootaz'r 'ard enough dat even if ya run outta' ammo in da middle of a scrap, you'z can krump da git wif it real good an it'll still be workin' like da mekboy jus' made it!
#Bigga is betta!
#Most of dem puny gits need to stop before shootin'. Ork'r orky enough that we'z can shoot while runnin' or eva' dyin'.
#'ERE AIN'T NO SUCH 'FING AS ENUFF DAKKA!!!! Cept when it's pointed at you, but even dat's fun sometimes...

−
== Da Basikz ==

−
=== Grot Blasta ===

[[File:Grot_Blasta.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Grot Blasta]]

Grots are often herded into battle by their masters to soak up some fire and provide diversions. To make them slightly more likely to survive they often cobble together or are given small and (even by ork standards) simple pistols and shotguns to bring into battle known as Blastas.

Grot Blastas are run-down, second-hand, low-tech, dust-caked pieces of junk that usually take the form of old and puny pistols and rifles that the Orks would have scrapped otherwise.

Mostly they are something to the effect of a musket made out of old pipes and BBQ lighters. Against most foes, this makes them more annoying than anything, but at least (for the grots) they are able to be annoying and score the odd kill at a distance instead of up close where they run the risk of getting squished.

There is no standardization with blastas, as is the case with almost all Ork weapons, and they can take on a myriad of shapes and sizes. They may well be looted Imperial Stub guns, Autopistols or Laspistols.

=== Gretchin Blunderbuss ===

[[File:Gretchin_Blunderbuss.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Gretchin Blunderbuss]]

A step up from your typical Grot Blasta (But not by much). Some Blastas take the form of a flare-ended blunderbusses or other double-barrelled jezzails. Most often they fire a shot of pebbles, balls, nuts, bolts or anything that can be rammed down the barrel. In battle, the 'lead' Gretchin will direct the volleys of fire at a target. Most often this takes the form of shooting at the biggest enemy, or the one with the biggest weapon. Even with the poor aim of Gretchin, chances are the target will be hit, along with any in a small area around them.

=== Sluggas ===

[[File:Slugga.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Slugga]]

A simple semi-automatic pistol with a bore diameter in the area of 30mm and the most common Ork gun you might find, allowing these primitive contraptions (comparable to rough modern firearms) to match the power of the Imperial <s>[[Lasgun|flashlight]]</s> Heavy Stubber. Hence, whilst Sluggas have very limited accuracy, they have huge stopping power, thanks to the massive shot they fire and dangerously large powder charges that propel them.

It is often crude, loud and brutish in design and designed to be used in a similar way. Usually low ranking Orks have one of these, blasting at their targets as they close in to hack them to bits, as well as pistol whipping their enemies in close quarters.

Jams and misfires are common, as is the case with most Ork weapons.

=== Six-Shoota ===

[[File:Six-Shoota.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Six-Shoota]]

Essentially a Orkified version of the Imperial Stub-Revolver. Six-Shoota is a variation of a Slugga, its short barrel usually fed from a simple mechanical revolving chamber, usually carrying six shots, hence its name. They are known as every Ork Boy'z starting equipment. Ork Mekboys often have their apprentice Spanners making Six-Shoootas until they are good enough to work on more complex weapons.

It is the most basic Ork firearm, so simple any Ork boy can make it, given needed bitz. Because of it, there are always a lot of them in circulation in any Ork settlement and it often becomes a first weapon of Ork Yoof. However, given that it is less powerful then slugga and even more prone to jamming, Ork Boys usually acquire more powerful weapons as they grow older and richer. In the end, a Six-Shoota often gets scrapped or thrown towards the nearest Grot for him to modify it into a Grot Blasta.

=== Shootas ===

[[File:Shoota.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Shoota]]

An Ork assault rifle, the shoota is a fully automatic metal club used to spray hot lead inaccurately over a large target area. A shoota fires either massive bullets or explosive shells, or even a mixture of both. As is the case with most Ork weapons, they are crude but effective.

As Orks like to travel in large groups, their inaccuracy is less of a concern than one might imagine, as the sheer volume of fire they bring to bear is more than enough to hit even a small target even a few times. There is no standard design for the ork shoota- as many variants of the weapons exist as there are orks that wield them, as most are hodge-podge conglomerations of scrap metal. They often look and function like a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MG_08 Spandau machine gun], Maxim machine gun or, if the ork is particularly rich, the [[Awesome|MG42]].

=== Shoota Kannon ===

[[File:Ork_with_Kannon.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Shoota Kannon]]

A variant of a Shoota. Not to be confused with the more traditionally vehicle mounted Kannons, although it can be said that the Shoota Kannon is nothing more than a handheld version of the Kannon. They are the shotguns of the Ork arsenal and are thus primitive and simple even for Ork standards.

Kannons are simple Ork weapons, put together in huge numbers. Most of them have a single thick barrel and fire hefty shells stored in magazines or even loaded before each shot. Kannons are less popular then Shootas, because they have a very slow rate of fire and their sidekick makes them inaccurate even for Orks. Still, they are pretty loud and have a big, intimidating muzzle and so are still used by some Ork Boys.

=== Ork Blunderbuss ===

[[File:Ork_Blunderbuss.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Ork Blunderbuss]]

The Gretchin Blunderbuss' bigger brother and the Ork's literal counterpart to the [[Stubber#Blunderbuss|Imperial Blunderbuss.]] They are the hand-me-downs of broken Kannons, so we are in pretty low bar here.

Also known as the '''Spechul Shoota''', a Blunderbuss is a simple variation of a kannon, and they are often made from the wrecks of kannons which backfired and burst their barrels. A blunderbuss features a very short muzzle and uses shells made up of dozens of pellets crammed together. When it fires, it gouts a cloud of ricocheting pellets, making it very easy to hit a target. However, it suffers from a short range, as pellets lose their hitting power very quickly. It's very cheap though, and so has its uses in Ork society.

=== Burnas ===

''See main page, [[Flamer#Burnas|Burnas]]''

=== Stikk Bomb ===

Not a gun, but still worth mentioning. An overgrown ork hand grenade, built in a similar manner to a German stick grenade. Big enough to hit enemies with in close combat but this usually makes the 'nade go off in the Ork's hand, killing both him and whoever he's hitting.

=== Rokkit Launchas ===

''See main page, [[Missile Launcher#Rokkit Launcha|Rokkit Launcha]]''

== 'eavy Gear ==

=== Big Shootas ===

[[File:Big_Shoota_6.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Big Shoota]]

Big Shootas are put onto vehicles, in clustered stationary mounts, or carried by Orks that have an obsession with having the biggest, loudest and most destructive shootas possible (which they aren't even). They are heavy caliber weapons even by Ork standards used to saturate the enemy with as much heavy fire as possible. Since it clocks in right in the middle of a Heavy Stubber and a Supa Shoota it's a lot like taking a small single barrell 20mm aircraft cannon and putting in the hands of an ork, though it probably has fatter, orkier rounds. It functionally deals about as much damage (on tabletop) as a Heavy Bolter without needing to explode, the downside being it's massive recoil which da orkz fink is da best!

=== Snazzgun ===

[[File:Dh-ca-102-snazzgun.png|200px|right|thumb|Snazzgun]]

The weaponized bling that a [[Flash Gitz|Flash Git]] carries is called the Snazzgun. These guns intrinsically vary widely in design and general principle of work, so the term may refer to a bewildering variety of kustom and insanely expensive weaponry, much like a Deffgun. However one thing is always true - Snazzguns are always big, loud, rapid-firing, and assuredly deal bloody death. All Snazzguns are unpredictable and deadly on the battlefield, and can always be even further enhanced to make them even deadlier.

All Snazzguns are ostentatiously ornamented and excessively enhanced with shiny bitz and snazzy [[Squig]] skins in order to satisfy the extravagant desires of their ostentatious owners, who pay a fortune for these overdone weapons. However, such egotistical decorations have earned the scorn of many Ork boyz as being too 'flashy' and 'un-orky'.

=== Kustom Mega-Blasta ===

''See main page, [[Plasma#Kustom Mega-Blasta|Kustom Mega-Blasta]]''

=== Dakkaguns ===

[[File:Dakkaguns.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Dakkaguns]]

Dakkaguns are a twin-linked variant of Big Shoota mounted on Ork Warbikes. They have two barrels and shorter range because of their unstable mount, but otherwise are similar to Big Shootas. Since a Dakkagun have two Big Shootas and a typical ork Warbike carries two Dakkaguns, it gives a total of four Big Shootas for a small vehicle. Not bad if you ask us. Because they are mounted on a small, light bike, they make it spin out of control when fired, although Orks think this makes the bikes even better.

=== Skorchas ===

''See main page, [[Flamer#Skorcha|Skorcha]]''

=== Deffguns ===

[[File:Beamy_Deffgun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Beamy Deffgun]]

Heavy automatic cannons built from alien technology, too many teef, or usually both. Deffguns are heavy Ork weapons, fine examples of the Mek's craft that are made from all kinds of materials, mainly scavenged heavy weaponry of other races. Deffguns are so large they must be mounted on a special firing rig strapped to to an Ork's broad shoulders. No man could hope to fit into a Deffgun's rig without heavy augmetics or thick slabs of vat-grown muscle. This cumbersome rig is needed to absorb bone-breaking recoil each time the Deffgun is fired.

These provide most of the Ork's (heavy) ranged firepower, and deafen the wielder and anyone nearby. These guns buck, spark, spin and flash like no other, and are the second-deadliest infantry-portable Ork weapon. They are Imperial Autocannons in function, and sometimes in fact, but with random rate of fire because of ORKY influences.

Two known variants (or rather classification groups) of Deffgun are the '''Shooty Deffgun''', which has an extremely high rate of fire and is mainly used against infantry; and the '''Beamy Deffgun''', an energy weapon often made from a scavenged lascannon and very effective against armored target, although countless other variants like '''Plasma Deffgun''' are also known to exist. Deffguns are mainly used in battle by [[Lootas]], who can gather enough heavy weapons so that Meks can make it for them, but they can also be mounted on Ork [[Warkoptas|Warkoptas.]]

<gallery>

File:Shooty_Deffgun.jpg|Shooty Deffgun
−
File:Plasma_Deffgun.jpg|Plasma Deffgun

</gallery>

== Da Big Stuff ==

=== Supa Shootas ===

[[File:Supa-Shoota.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Supa Shoota]]

Interesting to say the least. Supa Shootas are like an Ork version of an Autocannon and Assault cannon; they have close to the same tech level and effectiveness as the former, per shot power a lot like the latter, and rate of fire falling in the middle. Usually seen on some Ork fliers such as Dakkajets or Blitza-Bommers, they are "kustomized" by the Flyboyz to make a bigger bang and cause even more carnage.

The Supa Shoota it's pretty much a 30mm rapid fire Autocannon by real life standards. Would be pretty scary if the Orks actually knew how to shoot straight, which makes a bunch of Big Shootas scarier than one or two of these unless it's shooting at a tank since at least they can put out a ton of DAKKA.

=== Kannons ===

Exactly what you think they are. Except not. Kannons come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and calibers, but most common of all designs is the short-barreled, high-caliber breach-loader. The kannon actually serves the same function to Orks as the Missile Launcher does to the Imperium, capable of firing a solid shell or penetrating explosive for vehicle busting, or a canister shot or fragmentation shell to tear up infantry. Too heavy to be carried by even an Ork, these metal beasts are usually mounted on vehicles or artillery wagons, and have a longer reach than the Rokkit Launcha. In [[Gorkamorka]], kannons were an ork portable weapon roughly comparable to an ork shotgun, but nowadays these weapons are known as speschul shootas.

=== Lobbas ===

Essentially a big metal pot jammed with gunpowder and a bomb, usually in that order. The Lobba serves as an Orkish mortar, and is favored by Grot artillery crew for being able to kill things without the enemy having to see you. The huge recoil it generates relegates it to be mounting on vehicles or artillery carts. It is powerful, but most armor will deflect its blast.

=== Zzap Guns ===

A unique piece of technology crafted by energy-loving Mekboyz, a Zzap gun is a rough approximate to a Lascannon. Roughly. The gun consists of a metal barrel covered in wires, a capacitor, and a power source. The crew use a lever (which electrocutes the user) to determine the charge built up in the capacitor before firing a literal lightning bolt at the target. The gun defies all known physics, and the power supply is so heavy that it must be mounted. The unpredictable effectiveness of the weapon deters some Warlords from using it, but if Lady Luck smiles upon your green, hairless hide, you might be able to bring down Land Raiders.

=== Shokk Attakk Gun ===

''See main page, [[Warp Weapons#Shokk Attack Gun|Shokk Attack Gun]]''

== Kustomisations ==

−
=== Twin-Linked ===

When an Ork feels that his gun just isn't loud or killy enough, he'll get the nearest Mek to weld on another barrel and make it shoot twice the dakka. The fact that both barrels are still fed from a single magazine doesn't overly bother anyone.

=== Kombi-Weapons ===

If an Ork wants his gun to shoot different types of dakka he'll nail, tape or weld on another gun (like, say, a Skorcha or Rokkit Launcha).

=== Twin-Mags ===

If an Ork wants to shoot twice as long before reloading, he'll simply shove a second magazine into the hole where the shells come out of. No one knows where the shells go after this, but most agree that they also somehow get shot out of the barrel. (So essentially 65% more bullet, per bullet.)

== Looted Stuff ==
Orks use all of the crap that they swipe off dead enemies, especially their guns. No matter the foe, every Ork and Grot in the warband swarms the battlefield post-fight to pick up the best gubbins for themselves. Deff Skulls especially enjoy this practice (as well as stealing the best bits from the enemy beforehand, and from their buddies later). When an Ork either can't use the weapon, wants it tricked out, or feels that the gun would look better [[awesome|strapped into a shoulder mount with twelve of its companions]], they take it to the local Mekboy along with a pocketful of teef. The Mekboy takes the gun and customizes it to a rough approximation of the customer's desires, filtered through the mind of the oddboy.

{{Template:40k-Ork-Weapons}}
{{template:Orks-Forces}}
[[Category:Orks]]

Stubber

2018-01-04T03:17:16Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Stub Automatic */

Stubbers, or stub guns, are weapons from as early as M2, but mostly 20th century [[Firearm|gun]]s (our times) in the 41st millennium. Needless to say, most haven't aged very well when you consider how powerful everything else is. The only thing that they have going for them is they are cheap, they can still kill an unarmored humanoid target, and are durable as hell and depending on its mechanics and care, can be and have been in use SINCE M2. They are incredibly weak against much of the universe's people - in fact, they are the only thing that a [[Imperial_Guard|Guardsman's]] paper armor will reliably stop. This should give you an indication of exactly how weak they are. Of course this is for anything below the Stub Rifle, anything above it can guarantee to fuck up your [[Space Marine]] quite well. But just remember - every dog has their day. Stub guns are actually capable of downing Terminators if the unlucky marine rolls a 1.

==Variants==
[[File:Inq1-blackpowder-pistol.jpg|200px|rght|thumb|When you really want to go back to the point on making [[Orks]] look advanced. The Flintlock Pistol is the tool for you.]]

===Flintlock Pistol===

Wooo boy. If you want to role play as a 16th century Pirate, then the Flintlock Pistol is for you. These simple black powder weapons can take many forms, from finely crafted pistols constructed for the nobles of low-tech worlds to simple pipe and powder affairs used by underhive scum. They are uncommon and are famous for their low battle characteristics but those which do exist are sometimes very heavily ornamented and carried by high ranking officers mainly as decoration.

Of course, whilst you may scoff at the idea of going into battle filled with tanks and space ships with a 18th century gun, do take note that the more master-crafted versions could be quite deceptively deadly by virtue of incorporating some form of advanced tech into, seemingly, primitive and "backward" design. For example, such constructs could be capable of holding plasma-ammunitions that can crack open power armor in a single shot. So laugh at your own peril.

===Musket===
[[File:Rb1-73-musket.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Musket, basically the Flintlock's older brother.]]

Muskets are primitive firearms, utilizing explosive powder and a crude firing mechanism to propel a lead ball. Like the Flintlock Pistol, these crude devices can only fire once before reloading and prone to failure. Slow, inaccurate and unreliable, they are only made and used on backwards planets. However, they are extremely easy to construct and maintain even from scrap-parts and with absolute minimum of skill and knowledge about firearm's operation. For this reason they are know to be quite popular among outlaw members of Hive societies such as the Ratskins and Scalies of the Necromundan underhive. The [[Planetary Defense Forces]] of Feral and Feudal Worlds also sometimes make use of muskets.

Like the Flintlock Pistols, master-crafted Muskets could be quite deceptively deadly by virtue of incorporating some form of advanced tech into, seemingly, primitive and "backward" design.

===Blunderbuss===
[[File:Blunderbuss_by_comannderrx-d93gbik.png|200px|right|thumb|The Blunderbuss, the Shotgun's grandfather.]]

A primitive shotgun. Also known as a Scatter Gun, the Blunderbuss is an exceedingly simple weapon made out of one or more short barrels strapped to a solid stock. An explosive charge is primed at the bottom of each barrel, then a large amount of metal fragments, stones, pieces of bone or anything else likely to cause harm are packed in on top.

When the weapon is discharged, it belches out this "ammunition" in a vast swath which will hopefully find itself somewhere in the locale of its intended target.

Outside of primitive societies, such a crude, ineffective and dangerous (to its operator) weapon is only used by the poorest or most desperate members of society. Usually it can be found in the use of criminal gangs, for instance the Ratskin Renegades and [[Scavvies]] of Necromunda's underhive.

===Scatter Cannon===
[[File:Scatter_Cannon2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Scatter Cannon. The Blunderbuss' older brother and the Shotgun's uncle.]]

A primitive weapon found on Necromunda and used exclusively by the [[Scalies]]. Basically a 18th century cannon with a trigger attached to it. A scatter cannon is simply an enlarged version of a Blunderbuss or scatter gun with a heavy barrel and a fist sized bore. The greater weight of the shrapnel and explosive charge used in a scatter cannon increase its range and make it a lot more deadly in the confined conditions of the underhive.

If all else fails, the Scalie can basically just use the giant cannon as a giant makeshift club. Any poor scrub would get crushed by the weapon's immense weight. The Scatter Cannon is sturdy enough due to be constructed mainly with one piece of reinforced wooden log and one piece of a steel firing bore. Thus, the Scatter Cannon is essentially the watered down version of the Ogryn's Ripper Guns.

Scalies are the only underhive denizens with the massive strength to take the recoil from these powerful primitive weapons.

===Stub Gun===
[[File:40k-Stub-Boltok-Pistol.jpg|right|200px|thumb|Some things... don't quite get better with age, but the Stub Gun definitely aged well.]]

God made men, Sam Colt made them equal, and John Browning made them civilized. It's a basic pistol in two variants: the stub automatic which is like a .45 caliber handgun and the stub revolver which is, of course, a generic revolver, more of which can be explained below. If you're in a gang on a hive world, it'll work pretty well because you're probably going to be shooting at other people without armor, or lightly armored local law enforcement. Very reliable, unlikely to jam, manufacture is a breeze, and ammo is plentiful. However, if you're trying to shoot an [[Ork]], even headshots might just bounce off his skull. Though, the same could be said of [[autogun]]s and [[lasgun]]s, minus the actual bouncing of course.

===Stub Revolver===
The stub revolver carries fewer rounds than most pistols but is very reliable and easy to operate. As shells can be inserted individually, it is relatively easy to load in specialized rounds when needed. It is one of the most ancient of pistol designs and serves as an ideal backup weapon.

====Stub Automatic====
Unlike the Stub revolver, this pistol weapon also can fire in rapid semi-automatic mode as well as single shots. Like the Autopistol it is easy to produce and maintain, but less accurate at longer ranges. Just as common as the revolver variant, the stub automatic is less reliable, but allows for a greater rate of fire and magazine capacity.

<gallery>
File:Stub_revolver.jpg|Stub Revolver
File:Stub_automatic.jpg|Stub Automatic (One must wonder how any magazine is supposed to [[FAIL|fit inside such a grip]])
</gallery>

===Hand Cannon===
[[File:Hand_Cannon.png|200px|right|thumb|A Hand Cannon. For when you want to have a pint-sized firepower.]]

Basically a semi-auto stub pistol on steroids, not unlike real-world .50 cal Desert Eagle or .454 Casull pistols in operation (It is worth noting that at least one model of hand cannon have it's caliber listed as being .54 cal, that equals roughly 13.06mm).

Hand cannons are almost invariably heavy and cumbersome by pistol-grade weapons standards, in addition to having unforgiving recoil, requiring a degree of training and physical resilience to wield such a firearm. 
However, hand cannon do reward their users with the ability to kill even armoured or resilient to damage opponents (like Ogryns, Orks and Necrons). Sort of. They are still closer in power to stub pistols than bolt pistols for instance. But they are far easier to produce meaning Guardsmen, typically Sergeants and vets, could use them as a surprisingly powerful backup weapon. And if you find yourself up close and personal with an Ork, Necron or Genestealer, you will want as much firepower as you can get your hands on.

The Stub Cannon is an especially large version of the hand cannon that's so massive that the recoil can break bones; they're favored mainly by the members of [[House Goliath]].

===Exitus Pistol===
[[File:ExitusPistol.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Exitus Pistol]]
The Exitus Rifle's kid cousin. The Exitus Pistol is an Imperial pistol and a signature weapon of the Vindicare Temple of the Officio Assassinorum. Like its cousin the Exitus Rifle, it is a masterpiece of Adeptus Mechanicus engineering and is custom-built for the requirements of the individual assassin. The Pistol is largely a backup weapon for the Exitus Rifle and is used in the rare circumstances the assassin is discovered, cornered, or in need of rapid-fire weaponry. With a built-in silencer and capable of penetrating most armor with ease, it is has saved the lives of many Vindicare Assassins.

Like its rifle counterpart, the Exitus Pistol is capable of firing a variety of specialized ammunition. These include:

*'''Shield-Breaker Rounds''' - Overload the personal Force Fields of the target
*'''Turbo-Penetrator Rounds''' - Use a two-stage charge to punch a secondary round through the thickest armor.
*'''Hellfire Rounds''' - Contain virulent bio-acidic toxins that can reduce targets to ash.

===Stub Rifle===
[[File:Stubrifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Sure enough, the Stub Rifle epitomizes not fixing something if it ain't broken.]]

Generally, a simple medium/high-caliber bolt-action or semi-auto rifle. Also called the Stubber. It is basically your typical, everyday hunting rifle you can buy today with some slight modifications. Existing in many patterns, generally such a rifle is regarded as lowly civilian-grade weapon or tool.

However, it often sees action not as just a hunting or farming tool, but as a combat weapon in hand of lowly insurgents, cultists or militia fighters. It's likely that high powered Stub Rifles could also be seen to use the same or similar rounds to a Heavy Stubber, minus the automatic fire. Heck, some high powered Stubbers could become a makeshift Sniper Rifle. Typically a Stub Rifle acts as a Marksman Rifle in these cases. Its rule 63 equivalents are the Las-lock or Autogun.

===Shotgun===
[[File:Shotgun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Shotgun.]]
Imperial shotguns, in fact, changed little over millenia - they are the same smoothbore firearms, principally designed to either fire buckshot at close ranges or slugs to engage targets up to medium ranges. These are generally simple and cheap in construction and exists in different patterns and models throughout the Imperium of Man. They range from archaic over-and-under shotguns and pump-action ones to the full auto combat shotguns, employed as a signature weapons of Adeptus Arbitres, to models specifically tailored for Space Marine's biology, and thus having great mass and recoil, but also vastly greater stopping power. 
Also worth noting is that along with simple buckshot or slug shells, Imperial shotguns can also fire specialised rounds, produced usually by the Adeptus Mechanicus, including the dreaded Executioner-pattern sniper slugs, having the ability to change their trajectory mid-flight and home in on their target thanks to miniature on-board cogitator. The [[Deathwatch]] also maintains unique shotguns with specialized alien-killing rounds, utilizing armour-piercing solid rounds, flame-belching shells, or rounds tha filla room with deadly bouncing ball-bearings.

===Ripper Gun===
[[File:Ripper_Gun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Ripper Guns. Just when you thought regular Shotguns were big enough.]]
The Ogryn Ripper Gun is a large, brutal, and simple weapon designed for use by Imperial Guard Ogryns. It is a heavy automatic shotgun, built as simply and solidly as possible in order to survive being used by the Ogryns who use it as much as a club as a firearm. It can fire either a heavy shell or a hail of shot. By design, the Ripper Gun does not have a long range to better fit the Ogryns' instincts are for close combat, and many also have a fire rate limiter to prevent them from firing off an entire magazine worth of ammunition at once.

Ripper Guns are intended to be fired to soften up the enemy before the Ogryns charge into close combat, and are built particularly robustly so that they can stand up to the Ogryn use of them as clubs in melee. Ripper Guns can also be fitted with Ripper Saws. A Ripper Saw is, as the name implies, a saw blade that is attached to the end of a Ripper Gun which is intended to provide the Ogryn with an effective close combat melee weapon once they close with the enemy. The Ripper Gun is one of the few Imperial weapons that is intentionally crafted for use by Ogryns, and its design is intended to be much more durable and larger than a standard Imperial weapon, to compensate for the Ogryns' size, extreme clumsiness, and intellectual deficits.

===Heavy Stubber===
[[File:Heavy_Stubber.jpg|250px|right|thumb|A [[Death Korps of Krieg|Krieg]] Centaur's pintle-mounted Heavy Stubber.]]
Well-known is the Heavy Stubber, a machine gun used as a vehicle mount in the Imperial Guard, because in 40,000+ years, humanity has still been unable to top the genius of Weaponsmith John Browning's legendary [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M2_Browning M2] (who's surprised?). Just ask the goddamned [[Orks]].

It ''is'' basically a direct equivalent of Browning M2 .50 cal Heavy Machine Gun (It's worthy of note that some patterns of heavy stubbers actually resemble ones, except for the Vraks pattern Heavy Stubber, which looks more like an [[Nazi|MG42]]). Unlike the smaller Stub guns, Heavy Stubbers actually contain enough mass to do similar damage to a Bolter round at a much higher rate, and will reliably blow people's limbs off now as easy as they did then. Unlike the others which have been phased out, these are still in the mainline army arsenals, and are often pintle-mounted on vehicles or used in Heavy Weapon Squads in the [[Imperial Guard]]. Especially so for vehicles produced from worlds that do not have the resources to produce Heavy Bolters, or those who just find it more economical to push out a hundred Heavy Stubbers with the man-hours it would take to make a single Heavy Bolter and rounds for it. Obviously, they are not as strong as the Heavy Bolter they replace, which is <s>several times</s> more powerful than a regular Bolter, but they are stilled damned powerful enough, and they DO [[/tg/ gets shit done|GET SHIT DONE]]. Besides, if you're just trying to gun down enemy infantry, you don't strictly ''need'' a Heavy Bolter, or even a Storm Bolter, when a Heavy Stubber is just as capable of turning a human or human-equivalent into so much jelly. Then there are the different types of ammo, such as ones that break apart in the target and the ''pieces'' '''explode'''. A laser weapon version of this weapon is known as [[multilaser]].

Surprisingly, an enhanced heavy Stubber called the Ironhail Heavy Stubber is one of the many weapons used by the [[Primaris Marines]]' transport, the [[Repulsor Tank]]. Why it uses a heavy stubber instead of the much more potent and commonly used heavy bolter is a mystery for the ages.

===Sniper Rifle===
[[File:SniperRifle6.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Space Marine Sniper Rifle. [[Mary Sue|Better than those filthy plebian Sniper Rifles of the Guard]]... save for one...]]

While the Imperial sniper rifles are generally a rather broad class of weapons including, for example, the Long-las sniper [[lasgun]]s used by the Imperial Guard. At least some of the sniper rifles utlized in the Imperium are actually solid-slug ballistic weaponry, firing high-caliber powerful rounds to achieve maximum range and precision of their shots. Some specialist snipers like to add in specialized rounds in their Sniper Rifle for the 'special occasions'.

Space Marine Chapters, particularly Scouts, utilize a unique model of Sniper Rifle. A Space Marine-pattern Sniper Rifle fires a solid shell and boasts powerful telescopic sights that allows the wielder to fire at an enemy weak points and distant foes with extreme accuracy.

===Exitus Rifle===
[[File:Sniper_Rifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Exitus Sniper Rifle. Scoring more headshots then the entire Tau Empire combined.]]
Arguably the most iconic (and dreaded) of such Imperial "solid-slug" sniper rifles are the Exitus rifles, employed by field agents of [[Officio Assassinorum]]'s [[Vindicare]] temple. Each of these rifles is a one-of-a-kind "work of art", being painstakingly hand-crafted by Adeptus Mechanicus artisans to match the particular specs of each individual assassin. It's exceptional range and power also imply that the rifle uses something far more advanced than mere chemical gunpowder combustion to accelerate its bullets (however, the exact mechanics of its action is highly classified by Adeptus Mechanicus top brass).
With such high velocity, combined with specially made "turbo-penetrator" rounds, designed to make quick work of any armor short of the one, utilised by super-heavy tanks, the Exitus rifle gives the Vindicare assassin a chance to slay practically every conceivable target in just one well placed shot...

The Exitus Rifle is capable of firing a variety of ammunition depending on the target. These include:
*'''Shield-Breaker Rounds''' - Overload the personal Force Fields of the target
*'''Turbo-Penetrator Rounds''' - Use a two-stage charge to punch a secondary round through the thickest armor.
*'''Hellfire Rounds''' - Contain virulent bio-acidic toxins that can reduce targets to ash.

===Macrostubber===
[[File:Macrostubber.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Macrostubber. Looking more like a Rad Gun than anything else.]]

The Macrostubber is the Mechanicum's more advance and powerful variation of a typical solid-slug ballistic weapons (As expected from the AdMech). This type of antique weapon is used by Adeptus Mechanicus Tech-Priests and is able to hurl out a thunderous cloud of specially designed bullets (the exact method of acclerating its projectiles is not disclosed by the Techpriests, however the looks imply something more that just gunpowder is involved). It's possible that Macrostubbers are coilguns, which would explain the need for "specifically designed" (read: ferromagnetic) projectiles. Just think of it as a drum-fed compact heavy machine gun with an insane rate of fire, and you won't go insane. Or maybe you will given how it's practically a .50 cal machine gun that fires almost as fast as an assault cannon and is wielded as a pistol, and in theory could be duel-wielded (or more if you have extra robot arms)

Of course, this weapon has proven quite [[Skub|skubby]] in /tg/ due to the fact that some has taken into calling it an Autogun due to its power and rate of fire despite the name. Then again, some may have pointed out that it could be just a more portable and lightweight variant of the Heavy Stubber. As noted in the Disambiguation section, the fluff doesn't do a god job of drawing any consistent lines between Stubbers and Auto-weaponry.

===Stubcarbine===
[[File:Stubcarbine.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Stubcarbine. You would be fooled to think this was an Autogun.]]

''Another'' AdMech weapon exclusive to the [[Skitarii]]. The stubcarbine, though small, has the stopping power of the heavy stubbers mounted on the vehicles of the Imperial Guard. When a squad of Sicarian Infiltrators opens fire with these weapons, the air fills with a avalanche of solid shot that chews their victims to shreds. It can be assumed to have a shorter range to compensate for their high rate of fire.

Judging from how they are described in fluff Stubcarbines seem to be a lightened variant of Heavy Stubbers, outfitted with some kind of recoil suppression system to allow them being fired as a hand-held weapons by the Skitarii. However, with shorter range due to this weapon sporting much shorter barrel than the actual Heavy Stubber. It seems like the thinking was: a carbine is a ligher version of a rifle, so a Stubcarbine is a lighter version of a Heavy Stubber. This would make it an... assault rifle? High caliber (but otherwise normal) carbine? Uncertain, go ask [[/k/]]. (/k/ here, sounds like the Heavy Stubber "variant" was not a .50 but a 7.62x51 or equivalent, which would make it a medium machine gun. But knowing the Admech, it's not improbable that it is a .50 in which case it would be a heavy machine gun.)

==Disambiguation==
One of the pitfalls of Games Workshop is that they really don't have an internal canon police. To wit, the difference between Stub weapons and Auto weapons is rather blurry. Some authors write as though these technologies are one-and-the-same, citing only vernacular differences for the existence of multiple terms for ignited-gas slug-throwers (or sometimes totally writing out one term or the other!). The game itself is not an exemption, as edition-to-edition, codex-to-codex, and supplement-to-official author changes cause a mess of personal opinion writing over personal opinion, and some authors sling both terms with abandon, interchanging one for the other whenever they feel one term is becoming overused.

To clarify, it is generally agreed that there are both Stubbers and Auto-weapons. Stub technology tends to be lower-tech, revolvers-to-WWII style weaponry, with an air towards larger-caliber and higher stopping-power. Auto-weapons tend to be higher-tech, Cold-War-and-on style weaponry, which emphasize accuracy and fire rate. It's been suggested that any full scale cannons would be classified as Auto-weapons, however calling a battle cannon or macro cannon an Auto-weapon is a bit of stretch. Bigger caliber and relatively slow rates of fire denote Stub weapons, until you hit the point where infantry can no-longer wield them. Anything with explosive, tracer, frangible, or incendiary rounds are typically Auto-weapons. Muzzle-loaders like muskets or arquebuses are neither Auto nor Stub. Furthermore, autoguns are generally (but not always) described as firing caseless ammunition.

A good example to use would be pistols. A stub pistol would be either a revolver or a semi-auto magazine-fed pistol. An autopistol would be either a handheld automatic pistol or a burst-fire pistol. High-tech, [[Shadowrun]]-esque revolvers are still Stub weapons, while Kreig-made automatic slug-throwing cannons are still Auto weapons by default, and hand-crank Gatling guns could go either way. Pepperbox-style breach-loaders would be neither, and futuristic ignited-gas projectile weapons are Auto weapons. Since GW is pathologically incapable of consistency, the Cult Mechanicus Tech-Priest Dominus carries a 5-shot burst pistol called a macrostubber, even though its form factor and performance suggest that it should be called some type of auto pistol. Probably fires similar rounds to a heavy stubber though.

{{Template:40k-Imperial-Weapons}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]]

THIN YOUR PAINTS

2018-01-02T02:34:43Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Gallery */

''"[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v1epu4d7cs| Thin your paints]."''
 -[[Duncan Rhodes]]

[[Image:2009_01_10_Fyrbrand.jpg|thumb|right|EMPEROR-I-AM-MELTING]]
"'''THIN YOUR PAINTS'''" is far and away the most commonly offered painting-related criticism seen on [[/tg/]], mostly seen in reference to some new [[Warhammer 40,000]] player's fuzzy photographs of his first attempts to paint a model. The second most common appears to be "YOU PUT THE FUCKING [[Pauldrons|PAULDRONS]] ON THE WRONG WAY ROUND", since new players are inevitably playing [[Space Marines]]. [[Troll]]ing or not, "thin your paints!" is almost always good advice to give a new painter. However, the phrase has reached the point where it gets posted whenever something <s>badly</s> painted is shown on /tg/.

==THINNING YOUR PAINTS FOR DUMMIES==
In all seriousness, the most basic paint thinner for your miniature needs is tap water. Really, that's it. Thinner paint basically means lesser consistency. The less the paint's consistency is, the less messy it looks and the easier it is to manipulate while brushing.

The water-to-paint ratio pretty much depends on your preferences and needs; painting a single, normal-sized mini would probably just require you to dip your brush into a cup of water every time you apply a stroke of paint, while painting entire squads or armies may warrant a bit of experimentation with the ratios and the creation of some sizable batches for convenience. Also, note that more water means thinner paint and a longer drying time, and too much water can ruin your paint's consistency entirely, so be careful when thinning large amounts or else you could be wasting time and money. It's a good idea to apply the water to the paint with an eye dropper one drip at a time so you can carefully control how thin it gets.

The more intermediate thinners for painting minis are extenders and flow improvers, which are available in most art stores. They'll also cost you quite a bit if you're planning to paint an entire army. But on the upside, those products warrant much better results than ordinary tap water.

As a last resort, you may actually save some of the details of an over-painted mini by using Nuln Oil shader or something similar. Ultimately if you feel like it's not worth the effort, some first aid alcohol and a toothbrush may help you bring your mini back to its unpainted state without destroying it in the process.

As of 0 M3.016, The only, best and definitive way to ensure that no matter how badly you paint; thicker than a valhallan coat or thinner than a Blood Raven's legs, Prisma is a mobile app that can alter pictures of your miniatures to make them more/less pleasing to the eye. This will cause ungodly rage among most fa/tg/uys, so be warned.

==Games Workshop Agrees!==
As of 7th Edition, Games Workshop has begun a series of "How to Paint" tutorials with their newest models and factions, helping newcomers into the art of thinning their paints. Everything in the videos are, of course, GW equipment, but at least [[Duncan Rhodes]], the painter in question, show the audience how to properly use it, and what paints need a little work to get to work properly. The videos are fairly simple, but utilize a lot of different paints to get a great result (and earn some money for [[Games Workshop|the Man]]).

Duncan is also a great believer of THINNING YOUR PAINTS, as his mantra goes: "Put sum paint on ya palet, and then add a lil' drop of waer, ya dun't need very much, just a lil' dip, just. Like... that."
and: "You don't need very much, just...yeah...so that it goes nice and smoothly on your miniature."

The real reason for this belief has finally been revealed, thanks to the new Warhammer Community website. Duncan botched up his first model he painted (a custom chapter called the Void Bringers) because "Clearly, I did not thin my paint, nor did I apply multiple thin coats!"
Look upon the article, ye mighty, and despair: http://www.warhammer-community.com/2016/11/14/my-first-model-part-1-our-own-duncan-rhodes/

==Gallery==
{{Fail}}
A lot of the examples in the gallery were painted by [http://lordlysander.deviantart.com/gallery/ this chucklefuck] who also appears to be a furry.(don't ask us why there are compliments in the comments. We don't know either.)

And somehow DeviantArt users found a way to [http://edge-sama.deviantart.com/gallery/?catpath=/traditional/sculpture/ get even worse].

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3p_VuPIS2c&lc This wonderfully crafted video] depicts the correct way to react to these works of [[Heresy|art]].
Just a quick reminder, dont be a prick in the comments guys. Try to help fix their painting because otherwise oh god this will never end.
<gallery>

File:IMG_2466.JPG|I see you! Uploaded by https://m.facebook.com/OoOoOomonkey?ref=bookmarks bought these on eBay.
File:1237018138010.jpg|Decorated seventeen times and painted several more.
File:1250644111790.jpg|THRONE'S ARSEPLATE, DO YOU HAVE PARKINSON'S OR SOMETHING?!
File:1292840989889.jpg|Oh dear sweet Jesus. Fun Fact: That wreck plus all paints cost him upwards £100
File:1304388001751.jpg|Ultramarines truly worthy of their [[Matt Ward|spiritual liege]].
File:1314090376649.jpg|This one's from a professional painting service. Great work on the detailing, shit work with the face. That's [[Games Workshop|GW]] for you.
File:1314092204994.jpg|Don't look into their eyes, don't look into their eyes! Jesus, the captains gone cock eyed, ahhhhhh!
File:1302339865363.jpg|From My Little Pony's partial-birth abortion into your darkest nightmares.
File:1323919239898.jpg|"I have no mouth and I must scream, WHAT THE FUCK?!"
File:1323919828242.jpg|I can't tell if Sanguinius is supposed to have a beard or if he's just vomiting.
File:1314092488281.jpg|Even if this was painted well she would still have bare breasts. That's just plain tacky. (Actual description from the painter: Still, this is one of my fave paintjobs to date, i hope ya like her :3 )
File:1323878987760.jpg|The guy on the right has two right hands. Mother of Christ.
File:Sicarius.JPG|Sicarius, supreme Ultra Marine fighting for the [[Matt Ward|spiritual liege]]. Do make note of his fabulous leopard print loincloth.
File:1329292059994.jpg|BROTHER LIBRARIAN I CAN [[HHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhnnnnnnngggggg-|FEEL MY FACE SLOUGHING OFF]] (to be fair these are super tiny models. Those are pens that they're sitting on. Looks like a problem with the undercoat more than anything.)
File:Yellowblob.jpg|By the [[Emprah|GOD-EMPEROR]]. Did the guy stick his face inside a heavy flamer?
File:Dread_Horror.jpg|Even in death I still feel pain
File:Meltingscout.JPG|Not THAT bad until you see the neck...
File:Forthegreatermelt.JPG|Why does it have golden locks?!
File:KNOWLEDGEISPOWER.jpg|[[Catachan]] is well known for its' unexpected and sudden Acid Rains.
File:ENGAGEALLTHETERROR.jpg|How could you fuck up the Battlesuit as well? That's like, an [[fail|achievement]] all of it's own!
File:TRAITORSDOWNFALL.jpg|It takes a [[derp|certain mindset]], to join the vile Tau Xenos. But that Kroot gun with a chainblade bayonet looks pretty cool.
File:Uglyshitwtf.jpg|Paint thinned? Maybe. Astrocious painting? [[Fail|Indeed]].
File:6547473615 08152bc762 b.jpg|You can see the pain in his eyes.
File:Everfail.JPG|Don't look into his... eyes.
File:1369548189366.jpg|I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man!
File:1380441711824.jpg|Somebody wanted $40 for this model. [[A Game of Pretend|Because it's "professionally painted".]]
File:Goldendaemon.png|Quality men was not meant to know!
File:ThinYourCaptain.jpeg|A paint job worthy of the lord of Macragge... Who am I kidding he <s>deserves better</s> {{BLAM}} {{BLAM|Heresy!}}
File:AvatarOfPizza.jpeg|"I didn't know Khaine came in pizza flavour."
File:1421945790175.jpg|"I preach so that others do not suffer my fate."
File:Ultramarinemelt.jpeg|Warning: Do not expose your Astartes to above-room temperatures.
File:BADreadAwful.jpeg|This is what causes the Black Rage.
File:RektHenual.jpg|Not even Krosmaster minis are safe!
File:RektEmma.jpg|Her blade looks like that because she just tore your eyes out.
File:ProPainted.jpg|The Grimdark Future of the Power Rangers.
File:6321790479_593d5b5723.jpg|Not even the Gretchen are safe from this evil.
File:40K-Space-Marine-Blood-Angel-Captain-Games-Workshop.jpg|Clubbed feet is a sadly common side-effect of the Blood Angel's gene seed
File:Prisma.jpg|Prisma done wrong; doesn't hurt your eyes upon viewing.
File:Prisma2.jpg|Prisma done right; the painter is clearly proud of his masterpiece
File:Pathfinder Battles Thin.jpg|Unlike most of the entries, this one doesn't have the excuse of being done by an amateur; they're sold like this.
File:Bruvamyface.jpg|Dehydration does terrible things.
File:OneThickCoat.jpg|Even [[Duncan Rhodes]] had to start somewhere.
File:Paintanid.jpg|Notice that with THAT much paint, the poor thing needs 3 flyer stands to stay in the air.
File:Failhound.jpg|Painting skill might suffer if you sell your eyes for Forgeworld minies.
File:FailhoundCockpit.jpg|It is a good pain.
File:After_Easter.png|Reiksguard Knight got into the chocolate stash.
</gallery>

==See Also==
* [[WIP]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]] [[Category:Meme]]

Stubber

2017-12-31T17:53:11Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Stub Gun */

Stubbers, or stub guns, are weapons from as early as M2, but mostly 20th century [[Firearm|gun]]s (our times) in the 41st millennium. Needless to say, most haven't aged very well when you consider how powerful everything else is. The only thing that they have going for them is they are cheap, they can still kill an unarmored humanoid target, and are durable as hell and depending on its mechanics and care, can be and have been in use SINCE M2. They are incredibly weak against much of the universe's people - in fact, they are the only thing that a [[Imperial_Guard|Guardsman's]] paper armor will reliably stop. This should give you an indication of exactly how weak they are. Of course this is for anything below the Stub Rifle, anything above it can guarantee to fuck up your [[Space Marine]] quite well. But just remember - every dog has their day. Stub guns are actually capable of downing Terminators if the unlucky marine rolls a 1.

==Variants==
[[File:Inq1-blackpowder-pistol.jpg|200px|rght|thumb|When you really want to go back to the point on making [[Orks]] look advanced. The Flintlock Pistol is the tool for you.]]

===Flintlock Pistol===

Wooo boy. If you want to role play as a 16th century Pirate, then the Flintlock Pistol is for you. These simple black powder weapons can take many forms, from finely crafted pistols constructed for the nobles of low-tech worlds to simple pipe and powder affairs used by underhive scum. They are uncommon and are famous for their low battle characteristics but those which do exist are sometimes very heavily ornamented and carried by high ranking officers mainly as decoration.

Of course, whilst you may scoff at the idea of going into battle filled with tanks and space ships with a 18th century gun, do take note that the more master-crafted versions could be quite deceptively deadly by virtue of incorporating some form of advanced tech into, seemingly, primitive and "backward" design. For example, such constructs could be capable of holding plasma-ammunitions that can crack open power armor in a single shot. So laugh at your own peril.

===Musket===
[[File:Rb1-73-musket.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Musket, basically the Flintlock's older brother.]]

Muskets are primitive firearms, utilizing explosive powder and a crude firing mechanism to propel a lead ball. Like the Flintlock Pistol, these crude devices can only fire once before reloading and prone to failure. Slow, inaccurate and unreliable, they are only made and used on backwards planets. However, they are extremely easy to construct and maintain even from scrap-parts and with absolute minimum of skill and knowledge about firearm's operation. For this reason they are know to be quite popular among outlaw members of Hive societies such as the Ratskins and Scalies of the Necromundan underhive. The [[Planetary Defense Forces]] of Feral and Feudal Worlds also sometimes make use of muskets.

Like the Flintlock Pistols, master-crafted Muskets could be quite deceptively deadly by virtue of incorporating some form of advanced tech into, seemingly, primitive and "backward" design.

===Blunderbuss===
[[File:Blunderbuss_by_comannderrx-d93gbik.png|200px|right|thumb|The Blunderbuss, the Shotgun's grandfather.]]

A primitive shotgun. Also known as a Scatter Gun, the Blunderbuss is an exceedingly simple weapon made out of one or more short barrels strapped to a solid stock. An explosive charge is primed at the bottom of each barrel, then a large amount of metal fragments, stones, pieces of bone or anything else likely to cause harm are packed in on top.

When the weapon is discharged, it belches out this "ammunition" in a vast swath which will hopefully find itself somewhere in the locale of its intended target.

Outside of primitive societies, such a crude, ineffective and dangerous (to its operator) weapon is only used by the poorest or most desperate members of society. Usually it can be found in the use of criminal gangs, for instance the Ratskin Renegades and [[Scavvies]] of Necromunda's underhive.

===Scatter Cannon===
[[File:Scatter_Cannon2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Scatter Cannon. The Blunderbuss' older brother and the Shotgun's uncle.]]

A primitive weapon found on Necromunda and used exclusively by the [[Scalies]]. Basically a 18th century cannon with a trigger attached to it. A scatter cannon is simply an enlarged version of a Blunderbuss or scatter gun with a heavy barrel and a fist sized bore. The greater weight of the shrapnel and explosive charge used in a scatter cannon increase its range and make it a lot more deadly in the confined conditions of the underhive.

If all else fails, the Scalie can basically just use the giant cannon as a giant makeshift club. Any poor scrub would get crushed by the weapon's immense weight. The Scatter Cannon is sturdy enough due to be constructed mainly with one piece of reinforced wooden log and one piece of a steel firing bore. Thus, the Scatter Cannon is essentially the watered down version of the Ogryn's Ripper Guns.

Scalies are the only underhive denizens with the massive strength to take the recoil from these powerful primitive weapons.

===Stub Gun===
[[File:40k-Stub-Boltok-Pistol.jpg|right|200px|thumb|Some things... don't quite get better with age, but the Stub Gun definitely aged well.]]

God made men, Sam Colt made them equal, and John Browning made them civilized. It's a basic pistol in two variants: the stub automatic which is like a .45 caliber handgun and the stub revolver which is, of course, a generic revolver, more of which can be explained below. If you're in a gang on a hive world, it'll work pretty well because you're probably going to be shooting at other people without armor, or lightly armored local law enforcement. Very reliable, unlikely to jam, manufacture is a breeze, and ammo is plentiful. However, if you're trying to shoot an [[Ork]], even headshots might just bounce off his skull. Though, the same could be said of [[autogun]]s and [[lasgun]]s, minus the actual bouncing of course.

===Stub Revolver===
The stub revolver carries fewer rounds than most pistols but is very reliable and easy to operate. As shells can be inserted individually, it is relatively easy to load in specialized rounds when needed. It is one of the most ancient of pistol designs and serves as an ideal backup weapon.

====Stub Automatic====
Unlike the Stub revolver, this pistol weapon also can fire in rapid semi-automatic mode as well as single shots. Like the Autopistol it is easy to produce and maintain, but less accurate at longer ranges. Just as common as the revolver variant, the stub automatic is less reliable, but allows for a greater rate of fire and magazine capacity.

<gallery>
File:Stub_revolver.jpg|Stub Revolver
File:Stub_automatic.jpg|Stub Automatic
</gallery>

===Hand Cannon===
[[File:Hand_Cannon.png|200px|right|thumb|A Hand Cannon. For when you want to have a pint-sized firepower.]]

Basically a semi-auto stub pistol on steroids, not unlike real-world .50 cal Desert Eagle or .454 Casull pistols in operation (It is worth noting that at least one model of hand cannon have it's caliber listed as being .54 cal, that equals roughly 13.06mm).

Hand cannons are almost invariably heavy and cumbersome by pistol-grade weapons standards, in addition to having unforgiving recoil, requiring a degree of training and physical resilience to wield such a firearm. 
However, hand cannon do reward their users with the ability to kill even armoured or resilient to damage opponents (like Ogryns, Orks and Necrons). Sort of. They are still closer in power to stub pistols than bolt pistols for instance. But they are far easier to produce meaning Guardsmen, typically Sergeants and vets, could use them as a surprisingly powerful backup weapon. And if you find yourself up close and personal with an Ork, Necron or Genestealer, you will want as much firepower as you can get your hands on.

The Stub Cannon is an especially large version of the hand cannon that's so massive that the recoil can break bones; they're favored mainly by the members of [[House Goliath]].

===Exitus Pistol===
[[File:ExitusPistol.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Exitus Pistol]]
The Exitus Rifle's kid cousin. The Exitus Pistol is an Imperial pistol and a signature weapon of the Vindicare Temple of the Officio Assassinorum. Like its cousin the Exitus Rifle, it is a masterpiece of Adeptus Mechanicus engineering and is custom-built for the requirements of the individual assassin. The Pistol is largely a backup weapon for the Exitus Rifle and is used in the rare circumstances the assassin is discovered, cornered, or in need of rapid-fire weaponry. With a built-in silencer and capable of penetrating most armor with ease, it is has saved the lives of many Vindicare Assassins.

Like its rifle counterpart, the Exitus Pistol is capable of firing a variety of specialized ammunition. These include:

*'''Shield-Breaker Rounds''' - Overload the personal Force Fields of the target
*'''Turbo-Penetrator Rounds''' - Use a two-stage charge to punch a secondary round through the thickest armor.
*'''Hellfire Rounds''' - Contain virulent bio-acidic toxins that can reduce targets to ash.

===Stub Rifle===
[[File:Stubrifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Sure enough, the Stub Rifle epitomizes not fixing something if it ain't broken.]]

Generally, a simple medium/high-caliber bolt-action or semi-auto rifle. Also called the Stubber. It is basically your typical, everyday hunting rifle you can buy today with some slight modifications. Existing in many patterns, generally such a rifle is regarded as lowly civilian-grade weapon or tool.

However, it often sees action not as just a hunting or farming tool, but as a combat weapon in hand of lowly insurgents, cultists or militia fighters. It's likely that high powered Stub Rifles could also be seen to use the same or similar rounds to a Heavy Stubber, minus the automatic fire. Heck, some high powered Stubbers could become a makeshift Sniper Rifle. Typically a Stub Rifle acts as a Marksman Rifle in these cases. Its rule 63 equivalents are the Las-lock or Autogun.

===Shotgun===
[[File:Shotgun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Shotgun.]]
Imperial shotguns, in fact, changed little over millenia - they are the same smoothbore firearms, principally designed to either fire buckshot at close ranges or slugs to engage targets up to medium ranges. These are generally simple and cheap in construction and exists in different patterns and models throughout the Imperium of Man. They range from archaic over-and-under shotguns and pump-action ones to the full auto combat shotguns, employed as a signature weapons of Adeptus Arbitres, to models specifically tailored for Space Marine's biology, and thus having great mass and recoil, but also vastly greater stopping power. 
Also worth noting is that along with simple buckshot or slug shells, Imperial shotguns can also fire specialised rounds, produced usually by the Adeptus Mechanicus, including the dreaded Executioner-pattern sniper slugs, having the ability to change their trajectory mid-flight and home in on their target thanks to miniature on-board cogitator. The [[Deathwatch]] also maintains unique shotguns with specialized alien-killing rounds, utilizing armour-piercing solid rounds, flame-belching shells, or rounds tha filla room with deadly bouncing ball-bearings.

===Ripper Gun===
[[File:Ripper_Gun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Ripper Guns. Just when you thought regular Shotguns were big enough.]]
The Ogryn Ripper Gun is a large, brutal, and simple weapon designed for use by Imperial Guard Ogryns. It is a heavy automatic shotgun, built as simply and solidly as possible in order to survive being used by the Ogryns who use it as much as a club as a firearm. It can fire either a heavy shell or a hail of shot. By design, the Ripper Gun does not have a long range to better fit the Ogryns' instincts are for close combat, and many also have a fire rate limiter to prevent them from firing off an entire magazine worth of ammunition at once.

Ripper Guns are intended to be fired to soften up the enemy before the Ogryns charge into close combat, and are built particularly robustly so that they can stand up to the Ogryn use of them as clubs in melee. Ripper Guns can also be fitted with Ripper Saws. A Ripper Saw is, as the name implies, a saw blade that is attached to the end of a Ripper Gun which is intended to provide the Ogryn with an effective close combat melee weapon once they close with the enemy. The Ripper Gun is one of the few Imperial weapons that is intentionally crafted for use by Ogryns, and its design is intended to be much more durable and larger than a standard Imperial weapon, to compensate for the Ogryns' size, extreme clumsiness, and intellectual deficits.

===Heavy Stubber===
[[File:Heavy_Stubber.jpg|250px|right|thumb|A [[Death Korps of Krieg|Krieg]] Centaur's pintle-mounted Heavy Stubber.]]
Well-known is the Heavy Stubber, a machine gun used as a vehicle mount in the Imperial Guard, because in 40,000+ years, humanity has still been unable to top the genius of Weaponsmith John Browning's legendary [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M2_Browning M2] (who's surprised?). Just ask the goddamned [[Orks]].

It ''is'' basically a direct equivalent of Browning M2 .50 cal Heavy Machine Gun (It's worthy of note that some patterns of heavy stubbers actually resemble ones, except for the Vraks pattern Heavy Stubber, which looks more like an [[Nazi|MG42]]). Unlike the smaller Stub guns, Heavy Stubbers actually contain enough mass to do similar damage to a Bolter round at a much higher rate, and will reliably blow people's limbs off now as easy as they did then. Unlike the others which have been phased out, these are still in the mainline army arsenals, and are often pintle-mounted on vehicles or used in Heavy Weapon Squads in the [[Imperial Guard]]. Especially so for vehicles produced from worlds that do not have the resources to produce Heavy Bolters, or those who just find it more economical to push out a hundred Heavy Stubbers with the man-hours it would take to make a single Heavy Bolter and rounds for it. Obviously, they are not as strong as the Heavy Bolter they replace, which is <s>several times</s> more powerful than a regular Bolter, but they are stilled damned powerful enough, and they DO [[/tg/ gets shit done|GET SHIT DONE]]. Besides, if you're just trying to gun down enemy infantry, you don't strictly ''need'' a Heavy Bolter, or even a Storm Bolter, when a Heavy Stubber is just as capable of turning a human or human-equivalent into so much jelly. Then there are the different types of ammo, such as ones that break apart in the target and the ''pieces'' '''explode'''. A laser weapon version of this weapon is known as [[multilaser]].

Surprisingly, an enhanced heavy Stubber called the Ironhail Heavy Stubber is one of the many weapons used by the [[Primaris Marines]]' transport, the [[Repulsor Tank]]. Why it uses a heavy stubber instead of the much more potent and commonly used heavy bolter is a mystery for the ages.

===Sniper Rifle===
[[File:SniperRifle6.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Space Marine Sniper Rifle. [[Mary Sue|Better than those filthy plebian Sniper Rifles of the Guard]]... save for one...]]

While the Imperial sniper rifles are generally a rather broad class of weapons including, for example, the Long-las sniper [[lasgun]]s used by the Imperial Guard. At least some of the sniper rifles utlized in the Imperium are actually solid-slug ballistic weaponry, firing high-caliber powerful rounds to achieve maximum range and precision of their shots. Some specialist snipers like to add in specialized rounds in their Sniper Rifle for the 'special occasions'.

Space Marine Chapters, particularly Scouts, utilize a unique model of Sniper Rifle. A Space Marine-pattern Sniper Rifle fires a solid shell and boasts powerful telescopic sights that allows the wielder to fire at an enemy weak points and distant foes with extreme accuracy.

===Exitus Rifle===
[[File:Sniper_Rifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Exitus Sniper Rifle. Scoring more headshots then the entire Tau Empire combined.]]
Arguably the most iconic (and dreaded) of such Imperial "solid-slug" sniper rifles are the Exitus rifles, employed by field agents of [[Officio Assassinorum]]'s [[Vindicare]] temple. Each of these rifles is a one-of-a-kind "work of art", being painstakingly hand-crafted by Adeptus Mechanicus artisans to match the particular specs of each individual assassin. It's exceptional range and power also imply that the rifle uses something far more advanced than mere chemical gunpowder combustion to accelerate its bullets (however, the exact mechanics of its action is highly classified by Adeptus Mechanicus top brass).
With such high velocity, combined with specially made "turbo-penetrator" rounds, designed to make quick work of any armor short of the one, utilised by super-heavy tanks, the Exitus rifle gives the Vindicare assassin a chance to slay practically every conceivable target in just one well placed shot...

The Exitus Rifle is capable of firing a variety of ammunition depending on the target. These include:
*'''Shield-Breaker Rounds''' - Overload the personal Force Fields of the target
*'''Turbo-Penetrator Rounds''' - Use a two-stage charge to punch a secondary round through the thickest armor.
*'''Hellfire Rounds''' - Contain virulent bio-acidic toxins that can reduce targets to ash.

===Macrostubber===
[[File:Macrostubber.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Macrostubber. Looking more like a Rad Gun than anything else.]]

The Macrostubber is the Mechanicum's more advance and powerful variation of a typical solid-slug ballistic weapons (As expected from the AdMech). This type of antique weapon is used by Adeptus Mechanicus Tech-Priests and is able to hurl out a thunderous cloud of specially designed bullets (the exact method of acclerating its projectiles is not disclosed by the Techpriests, however the looks imply something more that just gunpowder is involved). It's possible that Macrostubbers are coilguns, which would explain the need for "specifically designed" (read: ferromagnetic) projectiles. Just think of it as a drum-fed compact heavy machine gun with an insane rate of fire, and you won't go insane. Or maybe you will given how it's practically a .50 cal machine gun that fires almost as fast as an assault cannon and is wielded as a pistol, and in theory could be duel-wielded (or more if you have extra robot arms)

Of course, this weapon has proven quite [[Skub|skubby]] in /tg/ due to the fact that some has taken into calling it an Autogun due to its power and rate of fire despite the name. Then again, some may have pointed out that it could be just a more portable and lightweight variant of the Heavy Stubber. As noted in the Disambiguation section, the fluff doesn't do a god job of drawing any consistent lines between Stubbers and Auto-weaponry.

===Stubcarbine===
[[File:Stubcarbine.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Stubcarbine. You would be fooled to think this was an Autogun.]]

''Another'' AdMech weapon exclusive to the [[Skitarii]]. The stubcarbine, though small, has the stopping power of the heavy stubbers mounted on the vehicles of the Imperial Guard. When a squad of Sicarian Infiltrators opens fire with these weapons, the air fills with a avalanche of solid shot that chews their victims to shreds. It can be assumed to have a shorter range to compensate for their high rate of fire.

Judging from how they are described in fluff Stubcarbines seem to be a lightened variant of Heavy Stubbers, outfitted with some kind of recoil suppression system to allow them being fired as a hand-held weapons by the Skitarii. However, with shorter range due to this weapon sporting much shorter barrel than the actual Heavy Stubber. It seems like the thinking was: a carbine is a ligher version of a rifle, so a Stubcarbine is a lighter version of a Heavy Stubber. This would make it an... assault rifle? High caliber (but otherwise normal) carbine? Uncertain, go ask [[/k/]]. (/k/ here, sounds like the Heavy Stubber "variant" was not a .50 but a 7.62x51 or equivalent, which would make it a medium machine gun. But knowing the Admech, it's not improbable that it is a .50 in which case it would be a heavy machine gun.)

==Disambiguation==
One of the pitfalls of Games Workshop is that they really don't have an internal canon police. To wit, the difference between Stub weapons and Auto weapons is rather blurry. Some authors write as though these technologies are one-and-the-same, citing only vernacular differences for the existence of multiple terms for ignited-gas slug-throwers (or sometimes totally writing out one term or the other!). The game itself is not an exemption, as edition-to-edition, codex-to-codex, and supplement-to-official author changes cause a mess of personal opinion writing over personal opinion, and some authors sling both terms with abandon, interchanging one for the other whenever they feel one term is becoming overused.

To clarify, it is generally agreed that there are both Stubbers and Auto-weapons. Stub technology tends to be lower-tech, revolvers-to-WWII style weaponry, with an air towards larger-caliber and higher stopping-power. Auto-weapons tend to be higher-tech, Cold-War-and-on style weaponry, which emphasize accuracy and fire rate. It's been suggested that any full scale cannons would be classified as Auto-weapons, however calling a battle cannon or macro cannon an Auto-weapon is a bit of stretch. Bigger caliber and relatively slow rates of fire denote Stub weapons, until you hit the point where infantry can no-longer wield them. Anything with explosive, tracer, frangible, or incendiary rounds are typically Auto-weapons. Muzzle-loaders like muskets or arquebuses are neither Auto nor Stub. Furthermore, autoguns are generally (but not always) described as firing caseless ammunition.

A good example to use would be pistols. A stub pistol would be either a revolver or a semi-auto magazine-fed pistol. An autopistol would be either a handheld automatic pistol or a burst-fire pistol. High-tech, [[Shadowrun]]-esque revolvers are still Stub weapons, while Kreig-made automatic slug-throwing cannons are still Auto weapons by default, and hand-crank Gatling guns could go either way. Pepperbox-style breach-loaders would be neither, and futuristic ignited-gas projectile weapons are Auto weapons. Since GW is pathologically incapable of consistency, the Cult Mechanicus Tech-Priest Dominus carries a 5-shot burst pistol called a macrostubber, even though its form factor and performance suggest that it should be called some type of auto pistol. Probably fires similar rounds to a heavy stubber though.

{{Template:40k-Imperial-Weapons}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]]

Stubber

2017-12-31T06:46:25Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Ripper Gun */

Stubbers, or stub guns, are weapons from as early as M2, but mostly 20th century [[Firearm|gun]]s (our times) in the 41st millennium. Needless to say, most haven't aged very well when you consider how powerful everything else is. The only thing that they have going for them is they are cheap, they can still kill an unarmored humanoid target, and are durable as hell and depending on its mechanics and care, can be and have been in use SINCE M2. They are incredibly weak against much of the universe's people - in fact, they are the only thing that a [[Imperial_Guard|Guardsman's]] paper armor will reliably stop. This should give you an indication of exactly how weak they are. Of course this is for anything below the Stub Rifle, anything above it can guarantee to fuck up your [[Space Marine]] quite well. But just remember - every dog has their day. Stub guns are actually capable of downing Terminators if the unlucky marine rolls a 1.

==Variants==
[[File:Inq1-blackpowder-pistol.jpg|200px|rght|thumb|When you really want to go back to the point on making [[Orks]] look advanced. The Flintlock Pistol is the tool for you.]]

===Flintlock Pistol===

Wooo boy. If you want to role play as a 16th century Pirate, then the Flintlock Pistol is for you. These simple black powder weapons can take many forms, from finely crafted pistols constructed for the nobles of low-tech worlds to simple pipe and powder affairs used by underhive scum. They are uncommon and are famous for their low battle characteristics but those which do exist are sometimes very heavily ornamented and carried by high ranking officers mainly as decoration.

Of course, whilst you may scoff at the idea of going into battle filled with tanks and space ships with a 18th century gun, do take note that the more master-crafted versions could be quite deceptively deadly by virtue of incorporating some form of advanced tech into, seemingly, primitive and "backward" design. For example, such constructs could be capable of holding plasma-ammunitions that can crack open power armor in a single shot. So laugh at your own peril.

===Musket===
[[File:Rb1-73-musket.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Musket, basically the Flintlock's older brother.]]

Muskets are primitive firearms, utilizing explosive powder and a crude firing mechanism to propel a lead ball. Like the Flintlock Pistol, these crude devices can only fire once before reloading and prone to failure. Slow, inaccurate and unreliable, they are only made and used on backwards planets. However, they are extremely easy to construct and maintain even from scrap-parts and with absolute minimum of skill and knowledge about firearm's operation. For this reason they are know to be quite popular among outlaw members of Hive societies such as the Ratskins and Scalies of the Necromundan underhive. The [[Planetary Defense Forces]] of Feral and Feudal Worlds also sometimes make use of muskets.

Like the Flintlock Pistols, master-crafted Muskets could be quite deceptively deadly by virtue of incorporating some form of advanced tech into, seemingly, primitive and "backward" design.

===Blunderbuss===
[[File:Blunderbuss_by_comannderrx-d93gbik.png|200px|right|thumb|The Blunderbuss, the Shotgun's grandfather.]]

A primitive shotgun. Also known as a Scatter Gun, the Blunderbuss is an exceedingly simple weapon made out of one or more short barrels strapped to a solid stock. An explosive charge is primed at the bottom of each barrel, then a large amount of metal fragments, stones, pieces of bone or anything else likely to cause harm are packed in on top.

When the weapon is discharged, it belches out this "ammunition" in a vast swath which will hopefully find itself somewhere in the locale of its intended target.

Outside of primitive societies, such a crude, ineffective and dangerous (to its operator) weapon is only used by the poorest or most desperate members of society. Usually it can be found in the use of criminal gangs, for instance the Ratskin Renegades and [[Scavvies]] of Necromunda's underhive.

===Scatter Cannon===
[[File:Scatter_Cannon2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Scatter Cannon. The Blunderbuss' older brother and the Shotgun's uncle.]]

A primitive weapon found on Necromunda and used exclusively by the [[Scalies]]. Basically a 18th century cannon with a trigger attached to it. A scatter cannon is simply an enlarged version of a Blunderbuss or scatter gun with a heavy barrel and a fist sized bore. The greater weight of the shrapnel and explosive charge used in a scatter cannon increase its range and make it a lot more deadly in the confined conditions of the underhive.

If all else fails, the Scalie can basically just use the giant cannon as a giant makeshift club. Any poor scrub would get crushed by the weapon's immense weight. The Scatter Cannon is sturdy enough due to be constructed mainly with one piece of reinforced wooden log and one piece of a steel firing bore. Thus, the Scatter Cannon is essentially the watered down version of the Ogryn's Ripper Guns.

Scalies are the only underhive denizens with the massive strength to take the recoil from these powerful primitive weapons.

===Stub Gun===
[[File:40k-Stub-Boltok-Pistol.jpg|right|200px|thumb|Some things... don't quite get better with age, but the Stub Gun definitely age well.]]

God made men, Sam Colt made them equal, and John Browning made them civilized. It's a basic pistol in two variants: the stub automatic which is like a .45 caliber handgun and the stub revolver which is, of course, a generic revolver, more of which can be explained below. If you're in a gang on a hive world, it'll work pretty well because you're probably going to be shooting at other people without armor, or lightly armored local law enforcement. Very reliable, unlikely to jam, manufacture is a breeze, and ammo is plentiful. However, if you're trying to shoot an [[Ork]], even headshots might just bounce off his skull. Though, the same could be said of [[autogun]]s and [[lasgun]]s, minus the actual bouncing of course.

===Stub Revolver===
The stub revolver carries fewer rounds than most pistols but is very reliable and easy to operate. As shells can be inserted individually, it is relatively easy to load in specialized rounds when needed. It is one of the most ancient of pistol designs and serves as an ideal backup weapon.

====Stub Automatic====
Unlike the Stub revolver, this pistol weapon also can fire in rapid semi-automatic mode as well as single shots. Like the Autopistol it is easy to produce and maintain, but less accurate at longer ranges. Just as common as the revolver variant, the stub automatic is less reliable, but allows for a greater rate of fire and magazine capacity.

<gallery>
File:Stub_revolver.jpg|Stub Revolver
File:Stub_automatic.jpg|Stub Automatic
</gallery>

===Hand Cannon===
[[File:Hand_Cannon.png|200px|right|thumb|A Hand Cannon. For when you want to have a pint-sized firepower.]]

Basically a semi-auto stub pistol on steroids, not unlike real-world .50 cal Desert Eagle or .454 Casull pistols in operation (It is worth noting that at least one model of hand cannon have it's caliber listed as being .54 cal, that equals roughly 13.06mm).

Hand cannons are almost invariably heavy and cumbersome by pistol-grade weapons standards, in addition to having unforgiving recoil, requiring a degree of training and physical resilience to wield such a firearm. 
However, hand cannon do reward their users with the ability to kill even armoured or resilient to damage opponents (like Ogryns, Orks and Necrons). Sort of. They are still closer in power to stub pistols than bolt pistols for instance. But they are far easier to produce meaning Guardsmen, typically Sergeants and vets, could use them as a surprisingly powerful backup weapon. And if you find yourself up close and personal with an Ork, Necron or Genestealer, you will want as much firepower as you can get your hands on.

The Stub Cannon is an especially large version of the hand cannon that's so massive that the recoil can break bones; they're favored mainly by the members of [[House Goliath]].

===Exitus Pistol===
[[File:ExitusPistol.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Exitus Pistol]]
The Exitus Rifle's kid cousin. The Exitus Pistol is an Imperial pistol and a signature weapon of the Vindicare Temple of the Officio Assassinorum. Like its cousin the Exitus Rifle, it is a masterpiece of Adeptus Mechanicus engineering and is custom-built for the requirements of the individual assassin. The Pistol is largely a backup weapon for the Exitus Rifle and is used in the rare circumstances the assassin is discovered, cornered, or in need of rapid-fire weaponry. With a built-in silencer and capable of penetrating most armor with ease, it is has saved the lives of many Vindicare Assassins.

Like its rifle counterpart, the Exitus Pistol is capable of firing a variety of specialized ammunition. These include:

*'''Shield-Breaker Rounds''' - Overload the personal Force Fields of the target
*'''Turbo-Penetrator Rounds''' - Use a two-stage charge to punch a secondary round through the thickest armor.
*'''Hellfire Rounds''' - Contain virulent bio-acidic toxins that can reduce targets to ash.

===Stub Rifle===
[[File:Stubrifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Sure enough, the Stub Rifle epitomizes not fixing something if it ain't broken.]]

Generally, a simple medium/high-caliber bolt-action or semi-auto rifle. Also called the Stubber. It is basically your typical, everyday hunting rifle you can buy today with some slight modifications. Existing in many patterns, generally such a rifle is regarded as lowly civilian-grade weapon or tool.

However, it often sees action not as just a hunting or farming tool, but as a combat weapon in hand of lowly insurgents, cultists or militia fighters. It's likely that high powered Stub Rifles could also be seen to use the same or similar rounds to a Heavy Stubber, minus the automatic fire. Heck, some high powered Stubbers could become a makeshift Sniper Rifle. Typically a Stub Rifle acts as a Marksman Rifle in these cases. Its rule 63 equivalents are the Las-lock or Autogun.

===Shotgun===
[[File:Shotgun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Shotgun.]]
Imperial shotguns, in fact, changed little over millenia - they are the same smoothbore firearms, principally designed to either fire buckshot at close ranges or slugs to engage targets up to medium ranges. These are generally simple and cheap in construction and exists in different patterns and models throughout the Imperium of Man. They range from archaic over-and-under shotguns and pump-action ones to the full auto combat shotguns, employed as a signature weapons of Adeptus Arbitres, to models specifically tailored for Space Marine's biology, and thus having great mass and recoil, but also vastly greater stopping power. 
Also worth noting is that along with simple buckshot or slug shells, Imperial shotguns can also fire specialised rounds, produced usually by the Adeptus Mechanicus, including the dreaded Executioner-pattern sniper slugs, having the ability to change their trajectory mid-flight and home in on their target thanks to miniature on-board cogitator. The [[Deathwatch]] also maintains unique shotguns with specialized alien-killing rounds, utilizing armour-piercing solid rounds, flame-belching shells, or rounds tha filla room with deadly bouncing ball-bearings.

===Ripper Gun===
[[File:Ripper_Gun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Ripper Guns. Just when you thought regular Shotguns were big enough.]]
The Ogryn Ripper Gun is a large, brutal, and simple weapon designed for use by Imperial Guard Ogryns. It is a heavy automatic shotgun, built as simply and solidly as possible in order to survive being used by the Ogryns who use it as much as a club as a firearm. It can fire either a heavy shell or a hail of shot. By design, the Ripper Gun does not have a long range to better fit the Ogryns' instincts are for close combat, and many also have a fire rate limiter to prevent them from firing off an entire magazine worth of ammunition at once.

Ripper Guns are intended to be fired to soften up the enemy before the Ogryns charge into close combat, and are built particularly robustly so that they can stand up to the Ogryn use of them as clubs in melee. Ripper Guns can also be fitted with Ripper Saws. A Ripper Saw is, as the name implies, a saw blade that is attached to the end of a Ripper Gun which is intended to provide the Ogryn with an effective close combat melee weapon once they close with the enemy. The Ripper Gun is one of the few Imperial weapons that is intentionally crafted for use by Ogryns, and its design is intended to be much more durable and larger than a standard Imperial weapon, to compensate for the Ogryns' size, extreme clumsiness, and intellectual deficits.

===Heavy Stubber===
[[File:Heavy_Stubber.jpg|250px|right|thumb|A [[Death Korps of Krieg|Krieg]] Centaur's pintle-mounted Heavy Stubber.]]
Well-known is the Heavy Stubber, a machine gun used as a vehicle mount in the Imperial Guard, because in 40,000+ years, humanity has still been unable to top the genius of Weaponsmith John Browning's legendary [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M2_Browning M2] (who's surprised?). Just ask the goddamned [[Orks]].

It ''is'' basically a direct equivalent of Browning M2 .50 cal Heavy Machine Gun (It's worthy of note that some patterns of heavy stubbers actually resemble ones, except for the Vraks pattern Heavy Stubber, which looks more like an [[Nazi|MG42]]). Unlike the smaller Stub guns, Heavy Stubbers actually contain enough mass to do similar damage to a Bolter round at a much higher rate, and will reliably blow people's limbs off now as easy as they did then. Unlike the others which have been phased out, these are still in the mainline army arsenals, and are often pintle-mounted on vehicles or used in Heavy Weapon Squads in the [[Imperial Guard]]. Especially so for vehicles produced from worlds that do not have the resources to produce Heavy Bolters, or those who just find it more economical to push out a hundred Heavy Stubbers with the man-hours it would take to make a single Heavy Bolter and rounds for it. Obviously, they are not as strong as the Heavy Bolter they replace, which is <s>several times</s> more powerful than a regular Bolter, but they are stilled damned powerful enough, and they DO [[/tg/ gets shit done|GET SHIT DONE]]. Besides, if you're just trying to gun down enemy infantry, you don't strictly ''need'' a Heavy Bolter, or even a Storm Bolter, when a Heavy Stubber is just as capable of turning a human or human-equivalent into so much jelly. Then there are the different types of ammo, such as ones that break apart in the target and the ''pieces'' '''explode'''. A laser weapon version of this weapon is known as [[multilaser]].

Surprisingly, an enhanced heavy Stubber called the Ironhail Heavy Stubber is one of the many weapons used by the [[Primaris Marines]]' transport, the [[Repulsor Tank]]. Why it uses a heavy stubber instead of the much more potent and commonly used heavy bolter is a mystery for the ages.

===Sniper Rifle===
[[File:SniperRifle6.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Space Marine Sniper Rifle. [[Mary Sue|Better than those filthy plebian Sniper Rifles of the Guard]]... save for one...]]

While the Imperial sniper rifles are generally a rather broad class of weapons including, for example, the Long-las sniper [[lasgun]]s used by the Imperial Guard. At least some of the sniper rifles utlized in the Imperium are actually solid-slug ballistic weaponry, firing high-caliber powerful rounds to achieve maximum range and precision of their shots. Some specialist snipers like to add in specialized rounds in their Sniper Rifle for the 'special occasions'.

Space Marine Chapters, particularly Scouts, utilize a unique model of Sniper Rifle. A Space Marine-pattern Sniper Rifle fires a solid shell and boasts powerful telescopic sights that allows the wielder to fire at an enemy weak points and distant foes with extreme accuracy.

===Exitus Rifle===
[[File:Sniper_Rifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Exitus Sniper Rifle. Scoring more headshots then the entire Tau Empire combined.]]
Arguably the most iconic (and dreaded) of such Imperial "solid-slug" sniper rifles are the Exitus rifles, employed by field agents of [[Officio Assassinorum]]'s [[Vindicare]] temple. Each of these rifles is a one-of-a-kind "work of art", being painstakingly hand-crafted by Adeptus Mechanicus artisans to match the particular specs of each individual assassin. It's exceptional range and power also imply that the rifle uses something far more advanced than mere chemical gunpowder combustion to accelerate its bullets (however, the exact mechanics of its action is highly classified by Adeptus Mechanicus top brass).
With such high velocity, combined with specially made "turbo-penetrator" rounds, designed to make quick work of any armor short of the one, utilised by super-heavy tanks, the Exitus rifle gives the Vindicare assassin a chance to slay practically every conceivable target in just one well placed shot...

The Exitus Rifle is capable of firing a variety of ammunition depending on the target. These include:
*'''Shield-Breaker Rounds''' - Overload the personal Force Fields of the target
*'''Turbo-Penetrator Rounds''' - Use a two-stage charge to punch a secondary round through the thickest armor.
*'''Hellfire Rounds''' - Contain virulent bio-acidic toxins that can reduce targets to ash.

===Macrostubber===
[[File:Macrostubber.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Macrostubber. Looking more like a Rad Gun than anything else.]]

The Macrostubber is the Mechanicum's more advance and powerful variation of a typical solid-slug ballistic weapons (As expected from the AdMech). This type of antique weapon is used by Adeptus Mechanicus Tech-Priests and is able to hurl out a thunderous cloud of specially designed bullets (the exact method of acclerating its projectiles is not disclosed by the Techpriests, however the looks imply something more that just gunpowder is involved). It's possible that Macrostubbers are coilguns, which would explain the need for "specifically designed" (read: ferromagnetic) projectiles. Just think of it as a drum-fed compact heavy machine gun with an insane rate of fire, and you won't go insane. Or maybe you will given how it's practically a .50 cal machine gun that fires almost as fast as an assault cannon and is wielded as a pistol, and in theory could be duel-wielded (or more if you have extra robot arms)

Of course, this weapon has proven quite [[Skub|skubby]] in /tg/ due to the fact that some has taken into calling it an Autogun due to its power and rate of fire despite the name. Then again, some may have pointed out that it could be just a more portable and lightweight variant of the Heavy Stubber. As noted in the Disambiguation section, the fluff doesn't do a god job of drawing any consistent lines between Stubbers and Auto-weaponry.

===Stubcarbine===
[[File:Stubcarbine.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Stubcarbine. You would be fooled to think this was an Autogun.]]

''Another'' AdMech weapon exclusive to the [[Skitarii]]. The stubcarbine, though small, has the stopping power of the heavy stubbers mounted on the vehicles of the Imperial Guard. When a squad of Sicarian Infiltrators opens fire with these weapons, the air fills with a avalanche of solid shot that chews their victims to shreds. It can be assumed to have a shorter range to compensate for their high rate of fire.

Judging from how they are described in fluff Stubcarbines seem to be a lightened variant of Heavy Stubbers, outfitted with some kind of recoil suppression system to allow them being fired as a hand-held weapons by the Skitarii. However, with shorter range due to this weapon sporting much shorter barrel than the actual Heavy Stubber. It seems like the thinking was: a carbine is a ligher version of a rifle, so a Stubcarbine is a lighter version of a Heavy Stubber. This would make it an... assault rifle? High caliber (but otherwise normal) carbine? Uncertain, go ask [[/k/]]. (/k/ here, sounds like the Heavy Stubber "variant" was not a .50 but a 7.62x51 or equivalent, which would make it a medium machine gun. But knowing the Admech, it's not improbable that it is a .50 in which case it would be a heavy machine gun.)

==Disambiguation==
One of the pitfalls of Games Workshop is that they really don't have an internal canon police. To wit, the difference between Stub weapons and Auto weapons is rather blurry. Some authors write as though these technologies are one-and-the-same, citing only vernacular differences for the existence of multiple terms for ignited-gas slug-throwers (or sometimes totally writing out one term or the other!). The game itself is not an exemption, as edition-to-edition, codex-to-codex, and supplement-to-official author changes cause a mess of personal opinion writing over personal opinion, and some authors sling both terms with abandon, interchanging one for the other whenever they feel one term is becoming overused.

To clarify, it is generally agreed that there are both Stubbers and Auto-weapons. Stub technology tends to be lower-tech, revolvers-to-WWII style weaponry, with an air towards larger-caliber and higher stopping-power. Auto-weapons tend to be higher-tech, Cold-War-and-on style weaponry, which emphasize accuracy and fire rate. It's been suggested that any full scale cannons would be classified as Auto-weapons, however calling a battle cannon or macro cannon an Auto-weapon is a bit of stretch. Bigger caliber and relatively slow rates of fire denote Stub weapons, until you hit the point where infantry can no-longer wield them. Anything with explosive, tracer, frangible, or incendiary rounds are typically Auto-weapons. Muzzle-loaders like muskets or arquebuses are neither Auto nor Stub. Furthermore, autoguns are generally (but not always) described as firing caseless ammunition.

A good example to use would be pistols. A stub pistol would be either a revolver or a semi-auto magazine-fed pistol. An autopistol would be either a handheld automatic pistol or a burst-fire pistol. High-tech, [[Shadowrun]]-esque revolvers are still Stub weapons, while Kreig-made automatic slug-throwing cannons are still Auto weapons by default, and hand-crank Gatling guns could go either way. Pepperbox-style breach-loaders would be neither, and futuristic ignited-gas projectile weapons are Auto weapons. Since GW is pathologically incapable of consistency, the Cult Mechanicus Tech-Priest Dominus carries a 5-shot burst pistol called a macrostubber, even though its form factor and performance suggest that it should be called some type of auto pistol. Probably fires similar rounds to a heavy stubber though.

{{Template:40k-Imperial-Weapons}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]]

Stubber

2017-12-31T06:42:39Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Stub Automatic */

Stubbers, or stub guns, are weapons from as early as M2, but mostly 20th century [[Firearm|gun]]s (our times) in the 41st millennium. Needless to say, most haven't aged very well when you consider how powerful everything else is. The only thing that they have going for them is they are cheap, they can still kill an unarmored humanoid target, and are durable as hell and depending on its mechanics and care, can be and have been in use SINCE M2. They are incredibly weak against much of the universe's people - in fact, they are the only thing that a [[Imperial_Guard|Guardsman's]] paper armor will reliably stop. This should give you an indication of exactly how weak they are. Of course this is for anything below the Stub Rifle, anything above it can guarantee to fuck up your [[Space Marine]] quite well. But just remember - every dog has their day. Stub guns are actually capable of downing Terminators if the unlucky marine rolls a 1.

==Variants==
[[File:Inq1-blackpowder-pistol.jpg|200px|rght|thumb|When you really want to go back to the point on making [[Orks]] look advanced. The Flintlock Pistol is the tool for you.]]

===Flintlock Pistol===

Wooo boy. If you want to role play as a 16th century Pirate, then the Flintlock Pistol is for you. These simple black powder weapons can take many forms, from finely crafted pistols constructed for the nobles of low-tech worlds to simple pipe and powder affairs used by underhive scum. They are uncommon and are famous for their low battle characteristics but those which do exist are sometimes very heavily ornamented and carried by high ranking officers mainly as decoration.

Of course, whilst you may scoff at the idea of going into battle filled with tanks and space ships with a 18th century gun, do take note that the more master-crafted versions could be quite deceptively deadly by virtue of incorporating some form of advanced tech into, seemingly, primitive and "backward" design. For example, such constructs could be capable of holding plasma-ammunitions that can crack open power armor in a single shot. So laugh at your own peril.

===Musket===
[[File:Rb1-73-musket.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Musket, basically the Flintlock's older brother.]]

Muskets are primitive firearms, utilizing explosive powder and a crude firing mechanism to propel a lead ball. Like the Flintlock Pistol, these crude devices can only fire once before reloading and prone to failure. Slow, inaccurate and unreliable, they are only made and used on backwards planets. However, they are extremely easy to construct and maintain even from scrap-parts and with absolute minimum of skill and knowledge about firearm's operation. For this reason they are know to be quite popular among outlaw members of Hive societies such as the Ratskins and Scalies of the Necromundan underhive. The [[Planetary Defense Forces]] of Feral and Feudal Worlds also sometimes make use of muskets.

Like the Flintlock Pistols, master-crafted Muskets could be quite deceptively deadly by virtue of incorporating some form of advanced tech into, seemingly, primitive and "backward" design.

===Blunderbuss===
[[File:Blunderbuss_by_comannderrx-d93gbik.png|200px|right|thumb|The Blunderbuss, the Shotgun's grandfather.]]

A primitive shotgun. Also known as a Scatter Gun, the Blunderbuss is an exceedingly simple weapon made out of one or more short barrels strapped to a solid stock. An explosive charge is primed at the bottom of each barrel, then a large amount of metal fragments, stones, pieces of bone or anything else likely to cause harm are packed in on top.

When the weapon is discharged, it belches out this "ammunition" in a vast swath which will hopefully find itself somewhere in the locale of its intended target.

Outside of primitive societies, such a crude, ineffective and dangerous (to its operator) weapon is only used by the poorest or most desperate members of society. Usually it can be found in the use of criminal gangs, for instance the Ratskin Renegades and [[Scavvies]] of Necromunda's underhive.

===Scatter Cannon===
[[File:Scatter_Cannon2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Scatter Cannon. The Blunderbuss' older brother and the Shotgun's uncle.]]

A primitive weapon found on Necromunda and used exclusively by the [[Scalies]]. Basically a 18th century cannon with a trigger attached to it. A scatter cannon is simply an enlarged version of a Blunderbuss or scatter gun with a heavy barrel and a fist sized bore. The greater weight of the shrapnel and explosive charge used in a scatter cannon increase its range and make it a lot more deadly in the confined conditions of the underhive.

If all else fails, the Scalie can basically just use the giant cannon as a giant makeshift club. Any poor scrub would get crushed by the weapon's immense weight. The Scatter Cannon is sturdy enough due to be constructed mainly with one piece of reinforced wooden log and one piece of a steel firing bore. Thus, the Scatter Cannon is essentially the watered down version of the Ogryn's Ripper Guns.

Scalies are the only underhive denizens with the massive strength to take the recoil from these powerful primitive weapons.

===Stub Gun===
[[File:40k-Stub-Boltok-Pistol.jpg|right|200px|thumb|Some things... don't quite get better with age, but the Stub Gun definitely age well.]]

God made men, Sam Colt made them equal, and John Browning made them civilized. It's a basic pistol in two variants: the stub automatic which is like a .45 caliber handgun and the stub revolver which is, of course, a generic revolver, more of which can be explained below. If you're in a gang on a hive world, it'll work pretty well because you're probably going to be shooting at other people without armor, or lightly armored local law enforcement. Very reliable, unlikely to jam, manufacture is a breeze, and ammo is plentiful. However, if you're trying to shoot an [[Ork]], even headshots might just bounce off his skull. Though, the same could be said of [[autogun]]s and [[lasgun]]s, minus the actual bouncing of course.

===Stub Revolver===
The stub revolver carries fewer rounds than most pistols but is very reliable and easy to operate. As shells can be inserted individually, it is relatively easy to load in specialized rounds when needed. It is one of the most ancient of pistol designs and serves as an ideal backup weapon.

====Stub Automatic====
Unlike the Stub revolver, this pistol weapon also can fire in rapid semi-automatic mode as well as single shots. Like the Autopistol it is easy to produce and maintain, but less accurate at longer ranges. Just as common as the revolver variant, the stub automatic is less reliable, but allows for a greater rate of fire and magazine capacity.

<gallery>
File:Stub_revolver.jpg|Stub Revolver
File:Stub_automatic.jpg|Stub Automatic
</gallery>

===Hand Cannon===
[[File:Hand_Cannon.png|200px|right|thumb|A Hand Cannon. For when you want to have a pint-sized firepower.]]

Basically a semi-auto stub pistol on steroids, not unlike real-world .50 cal Desert Eagle or .454 Casull pistols in operation (It is worth noting that at least one model of hand cannon have it's caliber listed as being .54 cal, that equals roughly 13.06mm).

Hand cannons are almost invariably heavy and cumbersome by pistol-grade weapons standards, in addition to having unforgiving recoil, requiring a degree of training and physical resilience to wield such a firearm. 
However, hand cannon do reward their users with the ability to kill even armoured or resilient to damage opponents (like Ogryns, Orks and Necrons). Sort of. They are still closer in power to stub pistols than bolt pistols for instance. But they are far easier to produce meaning Guardsmen, typically Sergeants and vets, could use them as a surprisingly powerful backup weapon. And if you find yourself up close and personal with an Ork, Necron or Genestealer, you will want as much firepower as you can get your hands on.

The Stub Cannon is an especially large version of the hand cannon that's so massive that the recoil can break bones; they're favored mainly by the members of [[House Goliath]].

===Exitus Pistol===
[[File:ExitusPistol.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Exitus Pistol]]
The Exitus Rifle's kid cousin. The Exitus Pistol is an Imperial pistol and a signature weapon of the Vindicare Temple of the Officio Assassinorum. Like its cousin the Exitus Rifle, it is a masterpiece of Adeptus Mechanicus engineering and is custom-built for the requirements of the individual assassin. The Pistol is largely a backup weapon for the Exitus Rifle and is used in the rare circumstances the assassin is discovered, cornered, or in need of rapid-fire weaponry. With a built-in silencer and capable of penetrating most armor with ease, it is has saved the lives of many Vindicare Assassins.

Like its rifle counterpart, the Exitus Pistol is capable of firing a variety of specialized ammunition. These include:

*'''Shield-Breaker Rounds''' - Overload the personal Force Fields of the target
*'''Turbo-Penetrator Rounds''' - Use a two-stage charge to punch a secondary round through the thickest armor.
*'''Hellfire Rounds''' - Contain virulent bio-acidic toxins that can reduce targets to ash.

===Stub Rifle===
[[File:Stubrifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Sure enough, the Stub Rifle epitomizes not fixing something if it ain't broken.]]

Generally, a simple medium/high-caliber bolt-action or semi-auto rifle. Also called the Stubber. It is basically your typical, everyday hunting rifle you can buy today with some slight modifications. Existing in many patterns, generally such a rifle is regarded as lowly civilian-grade weapon or tool.

However, it often sees action not as just a hunting or farming tool, but as a combat weapon in hand of lowly insurgents, cultists or militia fighters. It's likely that high powered Stub Rifles could also be seen to use the same or similar rounds to a Heavy Stubber, minus the automatic fire. Heck, some high powered Stubbers could become a makeshift Sniper Rifle. Typically a Stub Rifle acts as a Marksman Rifle in these cases. Its rule 63 equivalents are the Las-lock or Autogun.

===Shotgun===
[[File:Shotgun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Shotgun.]]
Imperial shotguns, in fact, changed little over millenia - they are the same smoothbore firearms, principally designed to either fire buckshot at close ranges or slugs to engage targets up to medium ranges. These are generally simple and cheap in construction and exists in different patterns and models throughout the Imperium of Man. They range from archaic over-and-under shotguns and pump-action ones to the full auto combat shotguns, employed as a signature weapons of Adeptus Arbitres, to models specifically tailored for Space Marine's biology, and thus having great mass and recoil, but also vastly greater stopping power. 
Also worth noting is that along with simple buckshot or slug shells, Imperial shotguns can also fire specialised rounds, produced usually by the Adeptus Mechanicus, including the dreaded Executioner-pattern sniper slugs, having the ability to change their trajectory mid-flight and home in on their target thanks to miniature on-board cogitator. The [[Deathwatch]] also maintains unique shotguns with specialized alien-killing rounds, utilizing armour-piercing solid rounds, flame-belching shells, or rounds tha filla room with deadly bouncing ball-bearings.

===Ripper Gun===
[[File:Ripper_Gun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Ripper Guns. Just when you thought regular Shotguns were big enough.]]
The Ogryn Ripper Gun is a large, brutal, and simple weapon designed for use by Imperial Guard Ogryns. It is a heavy automatic shotgun, built as simply and solidly as possible in order to survive being used by the Ogryns who use it as much as a club as a firearm. It can fire either a heavy shell or a hail of shot. By design, the Ripper Gun does not have a long range to better fit the Ogryns' instincts are for close combat, and many also have a fire rate limiter to prevent them from firing off an entire clip's worth of shots at once.

Ripper Guns are intended to be fired to soften up the enemy before the Ogryns charge into close combat, and are built particularly robustly so that they can stand up to the Ogryn use of them as clubs in melee. Ripper Guns can also be fitted with Ripper Saws. A Ripper Saw is, as the name implies, a saw blade that is attached to the end of a Ripper Gun which is intended to provide the Ogryn with an effective close combat melee weapon once they close with the enemy. The Ripper Gun is one of the few Imperial weapons that is intentionally crafted for use by Ogryns, and its design is intended to be much more durable and larger than a standard Imperial weapon, to compensate for the Ogryns' size, extreme clumsiness, and intellectual deficits.

===Heavy Stubber===
[[File:Heavy_Stubber.jpg|250px|right|thumb|A [[Death Korps of Krieg|Krieg]] Centaur's pintle-mounted Heavy Stubber.]]
Well-known is the Heavy Stubber, a machine gun used as a vehicle mount in the Imperial Guard, because in 40,000+ years, humanity has still been unable to top the genius of Weaponsmith John Browning's legendary [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M2_Browning M2] (who's surprised?). Just ask the goddamned [[Orks]].

It ''is'' basically a direct equivalent of Browning M2 .50 cal Heavy Machine Gun (It's worthy of note that some patterns of heavy stubbers actually resemble ones, except for the Vraks pattern Heavy Stubber, which looks more like an [[Nazi|MG42]]). Unlike the smaller Stub guns, Heavy Stubbers actually contain enough mass to do similar damage to a Bolter round at a much higher rate, and will reliably blow people's limbs off now as easy as they did then. Unlike the others which have been phased out, these are still in the mainline army arsenals, and are often pintle-mounted on vehicles or used in Heavy Weapon Squads in the [[Imperial Guard]]. Especially so for vehicles produced from worlds that do not have the resources to produce Heavy Bolters, or those who just find it more economical to push out a hundred Heavy Stubbers with the man-hours it would take to make a single Heavy Bolter and rounds for it. Obviously, they are not as strong as the Heavy Bolter they replace, which is <s>several times</s> more powerful than a regular Bolter, but they are stilled damned powerful enough, and they DO [[/tg/ gets shit done|GET SHIT DONE]]. Besides, if you're just trying to gun down enemy infantry, you don't strictly ''need'' a Heavy Bolter, or even a Storm Bolter, when a Heavy Stubber is just as capable of turning a human or human-equivalent into so much jelly. Then there are the different types of ammo, such as ones that break apart in the target and the ''pieces'' '''explode'''. A laser weapon version of this weapon is known as [[multilaser]].

Surprisingly, an enhanced heavy Stubber called the Ironhail Heavy Stubber is one of the many weapons used by the [[Primaris Marines]]' transport, the [[Repulsor Tank]]. Why it uses a heavy stubber instead of the much more potent and commonly used heavy bolter is a mystery for the ages.

===Sniper Rifle===
[[File:SniperRifle6.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Space Marine Sniper Rifle. [[Mary Sue|Better than those filthy plebian Sniper Rifles of the Guard]]... save for one...]]

While the Imperial sniper rifles are generally a rather broad class of weapons including, for example, the Long-las sniper [[lasgun]]s used by the Imperial Guard. At least some of the sniper rifles utlized in the Imperium are actually solid-slug ballistic weaponry, firing high-caliber powerful rounds to achieve maximum range and precision of their shots. Some specialist snipers like to add in specialized rounds in their Sniper Rifle for the 'special occasions'.

Space Marine Chapters, particularly Scouts, utilize a unique model of Sniper Rifle. A Space Marine-pattern Sniper Rifle fires a solid shell and boasts powerful telescopic sights that allows the wielder to fire at an enemy weak points and distant foes with extreme accuracy.

===Exitus Rifle===
[[File:Sniper_Rifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Exitus Sniper Rifle. Scoring more headshots then the entire Tau Empire combined.]]
Arguably the most iconic (and dreaded) of such Imperial "solid-slug" sniper rifles are the Exitus rifles, employed by field agents of [[Officio Assassinorum]]'s [[Vindicare]] temple. Each of these rifles is a one-of-a-kind "work of art", being painstakingly hand-crafted by Adeptus Mechanicus artisans to match the particular specs of each individual assassin. It's exceptional range and power also imply that the rifle uses something far more advanced than mere chemical gunpowder combustion to accelerate its bullets (however, the exact mechanics of its action is highly classified by Adeptus Mechanicus top brass).
With such high velocity, combined with specially made "turbo-penetrator" rounds, designed to make quick work of any armor short of the one, utilised by super-heavy tanks, the Exitus rifle gives the Vindicare assassin a chance to slay practically every conceivable target in just one well placed shot...

The Exitus Rifle is capable of firing a variety of ammunition depending on the target. These include:
*'''Shield-Breaker Rounds''' - Overload the personal Force Fields of the target
*'''Turbo-Penetrator Rounds''' - Use a two-stage charge to punch a secondary round through the thickest armor.
*'''Hellfire Rounds''' - Contain virulent bio-acidic toxins that can reduce targets to ash.

===Macrostubber===
[[File:Macrostubber.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Macrostubber. Looking more like a Rad Gun than anything else.]]

The Macrostubber is the Mechanicum's more advance and powerful variation of a typical solid-slug ballistic weapons (As expected from the AdMech). This type of antique weapon is used by Adeptus Mechanicus Tech-Priests and is able to hurl out a thunderous cloud of specially designed bullets (the exact method of acclerating its projectiles is not disclosed by the Techpriests, however the looks imply something more that just gunpowder is involved). It's possible that Macrostubbers are coilguns, which would explain the need for "specifically designed" (read: ferromagnetic) projectiles. Just think of it as a drum-fed compact heavy machine gun with an insane rate of fire, and you won't go insane. Or maybe you will given how it's practically a .50 cal machine gun that fires almost as fast as an assault cannon and is wielded as a pistol, and in theory could be duel-wielded (or more if you have extra robot arms)

Of course, this weapon has proven quite [[Skub|skubby]] in /tg/ due to the fact that some has taken into calling it an Autogun due to its power and rate of fire despite the name. Then again, some may have pointed out that it could be just a more portable and lightweight variant of the Heavy Stubber. As noted in the Disambiguation section, the fluff doesn't do a god job of drawing any consistent lines between Stubbers and Auto-weaponry.

===Stubcarbine===
[[File:Stubcarbine.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Stubcarbine. You would be fooled to think this was an Autogun.]]

''Another'' AdMech weapon exclusive to the [[Skitarii]]. The stubcarbine, though small, has the stopping power of the heavy stubbers mounted on the vehicles of the Imperial Guard. When a squad of Sicarian Infiltrators opens fire with these weapons, the air fills with a avalanche of solid shot that chews their victims to shreds. It can be assumed to have a shorter range to compensate for their high rate of fire.

Judging from how they are described in fluff Stubcarbines seem to be a lightened variant of Heavy Stubbers, outfitted with some kind of recoil suppression system to allow them being fired as a hand-held weapons by the Skitarii. However, with shorter range due to this weapon sporting much shorter barrel than the actual Heavy Stubber. It seems like the thinking was: a carbine is a ligher version of a rifle, so a Stubcarbine is a lighter version of a Heavy Stubber. This would make it an... assault rifle? High caliber (but otherwise normal) carbine? Uncertain, go ask [[/k/]]. (/k/ here, sounds like the Heavy Stubber "variant" was not a .50 but a 7.62x51 or equivalent, which would make it a medium machine gun. But knowing the Admech, it's not improbable that it is a .50 in which case it would be a heavy machine gun.)

==Disambiguation==
One of the pitfalls of Games Workshop is that they really don't have an internal canon police. To wit, the difference between Stub weapons and Auto weapons is rather blurry. Some authors write as though these technologies are one-and-the-same, citing only vernacular differences for the existence of multiple terms for ignited-gas slug-throwers (or sometimes totally writing out one term or the other!). The game itself is not an exemption, as edition-to-edition, codex-to-codex, and supplement-to-official author changes cause a mess of personal opinion writing over personal opinion, and some authors sling both terms with abandon, interchanging one for the other whenever they feel one term is becoming overused.

To clarify, it is generally agreed that there are both Stubbers and Auto-weapons. Stub technology tends to be lower-tech, revolvers-to-WWII style weaponry, with an air towards larger-caliber and higher stopping-power. Auto-weapons tend to be higher-tech, Cold-War-and-on style weaponry, which emphasize accuracy and fire rate. It's been suggested that any full scale cannons would be classified as Auto-weapons, however calling a battle cannon or macro cannon an Auto-weapon is a bit of stretch. Bigger caliber and relatively slow rates of fire denote Stub weapons, until you hit the point where infantry can no-longer wield them. Anything with explosive, tracer, frangible, or incendiary rounds are typically Auto-weapons. Muzzle-loaders like muskets or arquebuses are neither Auto nor Stub. Furthermore, autoguns are generally (but not always) described as firing caseless ammunition.

A good example to use would be pistols. A stub pistol would be either a revolver or a semi-auto magazine-fed pistol. An autopistol would be either a handheld automatic pistol or a burst-fire pistol. High-tech, [[Shadowrun]]-esque revolvers are still Stub weapons, while Kreig-made automatic slug-throwing cannons are still Auto weapons by default, and hand-crank Gatling guns could go either way. Pepperbox-style breach-loaders would be neither, and futuristic ignited-gas projectile weapons are Auto weapons. Since GW is pathologically incapable of consistency, the Cult Mechanicus Tech-Priest Dominus carries a 5-shot burst pistol called a macrostubber, even though its form factor and performance suggest that it should be called some type of auto pistol. Probably fires similar rounds to a heavy stubber though.

{{Template:40k-Imperial-Weapons}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]]

Arc Weaponry

2017-12-24T18:00:12Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Arc Rifle */

[[Awesome|LIGHTNING GUNS WOOOOH!]] Arc Weapons are a type of weapon utilised by the armed forces of the Adeptus Mechanicus. Unlike the ''other'' [[Pretend|'lightning gun']] used by the [[Thallax]], Arc Weapons are actually tried and true lightning weaponry. They are powered by bulky perma-capacitors shipped from Mars' great repositorum; some of these zinc-plated blocks store energy from days when the Imperium was young. Arc Weapons discharge energy with a loud crack, firing blots of blue-white electricity that can fry a man's brain or overload a war machine's data-cortex in a second.

On the tabletop they are basically Imperial Haywire weapons; come in pistol or rapid fire format for your pleasure. Also has a nice S6 if you don't want to shoot at vehicles for some reason, though at AP5 you'll need some luck to do anything.

==Variants==
There are a few variants of the Arc Weapons.
[[File:ArcPistol.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Arc Pistol]]

===Arc Pistol===

A small pistol based on Arc technology and most commonly used by Skitarii Vanguard/Ranger Alphas. Trying to use this to 'charge up' your phone or any other electrical appliances is heavily frowned upon by the Adeptus Mechanicus and the Priesthood of Mars.

Crunch wise, it is a very nasty little weapon, essentially it is a 12" Haywire pistol that can shred infantry and robots alike. It works really well when paired with its much bigger brother, the Arc Rifle due to the Arc Rifle's rapid fire rule.

===Arc Rifle===
[[File:ArcRifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Arc Rifle]]

A rapid firing Arc Weapon used as a special weapon in Skitarii Vanguard and Ranger squads. The Arc Pistol's bigger brother. Crunch wise on the tabletop, it is known to possibly be one of the best-looking guns the Skitarii have. It's 24" Rapid Fire, which means it pairs well with its little brother.

The only problem is that it doesn't really jive well with the vanguard and ranger's basic weapons. To be fair though, radium carbines are AP5, so on vanguards, you're trading the possibility for auto-wounds for increased range, more reliable-to-get saveable wounds, and anti-vehicle ability.

===Heavy Arc Rifle===
[[File:Heavy_Arc_Rifle_on_Kataphron_Breacher.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Heavy Arc Rifle]]

A heavy Arc Weapon designed to slay the Daemon machines of the Dark Mechanicum, Heavy Arc Rifles send out shallow parabolas of crackling energy that revolve around each other, forming triple helixes as they blast forth. Should these ground upon a metallic target, they will swiftly overload its circuits and banish its animating spirit to the ether. Heavy Arc Rifles are part of the standard armament of Cult Mechanicus' [[Kataphron Battle Servitors|Kataphron Breachers.]]

In terms of Crunch, it's a 36" 2 shot Haywire gun with S6. Comes default on Breachers. Use it to pop open any vehicles giving you grief or to reveal the tasty transported center.

{{40k-Imperial-Weapons}}

Arc Weaponry

2017-12-24T17:59:30Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Arc Pistol */

[[Awesome|LIGHTNING GUNS WOOOOH!]] Arc Weapons are a type of weapon utilised by the armed forces of the Adeptus Mechanicus. Unlike the ''other'' [[Pretend|'lightning gun']] used by the [[Thallax]], Arc Weapons are actually tried and true lightning weaponry. They are powered by bulky perma-capacitors shipped from Mars' great repositorum; some of these zinc-plated blocks store energy from days when the Imperium was young. Arc Weapons discharge energy with a loud crack, firing blots of blue-white electricity that can fry a man's brain or overload a war machine's data-cortex in a second.

On the tabletop they are basically Imperial Haywire weapons; come in pistol or rapid fire format for your pleasure. Also has a nice S6 if you don't want to shoot at vehicles for some reason, though at AP5 you'll need some luck to do anything.

==Variants==
There are a few variants of the Arc Weapons.
[[File:ArcPistol.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Arc Pistol]]

===Arc Pistol===

A small pistol based on Arc technology and most commonly used by Skitarii Vanguard/Ranger Alphas. Trying to use this to 'charge up' your phone or any other electrical appliances is heavily frowned upon by the Adeptus Mechanicus and the Priesthood of Mars.

Crunch wise, it is a very nasty little weapon, essentially it is a 12" Haywire pistol that can shred infantry and robots alike. It works really well when paired with its much bigger brother, the Arc Rifle due to the Arc Rifle's rapid fire rule.

===Arc Rifle===
[[File:ArcRifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Arc Rifle]]

A rapid firing Arc Weapon used as a special weapon in Skitarii Vanguard and Ranger squads. The Arc Pistol's bigger brother. Crunch rise on the tabletop, it is known to possibly be one of the best-looking guns the Skitarii have. It's 24" Rapid Fire, which means it pairs well with its little brother.

The only problem is that it doesn't really jive well with the vanguard and ranger's basic weapons. To be fair though, radium carbines are AP5, so on vanguards, you're trading the possibility for auto-wounds for increased range, more reliable-to-get saveable wounds, and anti-vehicle ability.

===Heavy Arc Rifle===
[[File:Heavy_Arc_Rifle_on_Kataphron_Breacher.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Heavy Arc Rifle]]

A heavy Arc Weapon designed to slay the Daemon machines of the Dark Mechanicum, Heavy Arc Rifles send out shallow parabolas of crackling energy that revolve around each other, forming triple helixes as they blast forth. Should these ground upon a metallic target, they will swiftly overload its circuits and banish its animating spirit to the ether. Heavy Arc Rifles are part of the standard armament of Cult Mechanicus' [[Kataphron Battle Servitors|Kataphron Breachers.]]

In terms of Crunch, it's a 36" 2 shot Haywire gun with S6. Comes default on Breachers. Use it to pop open any vehicles giving you grief or to reveal the tasty transported center.

{{40k-Imperial-Weapons}}

Power weapon

2017-12-01T07:54:14Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Power Fist */

[[File:Cato Sicarius.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Before the age of [[Captain Titus|Titus]], this was the only time Ultramarines were even remotely cool.]]
'''Power weapons''' are a type of weapon in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Power weapons look just like normal melee weapons, but what makes them actually useful is that they are sheathed with an energy field surrounding the blade. This energy field can in turn slice through even the toughest of armor.

For one reason or another, the glorious Daemon Weapons of Chaos operate like power weapons. Probably for the same reason that allows cheap guardsmen bayonets to be exactly as deadly as ''[[chainsword]]s'' in melee combat (that is to say, <s>bullshit</s> <s>convenience</s> [[Games Workshop|lazyness]]).

==Types of Power weapons==

===Crozius Arcanum===
The signature weapon of [[Chaplain]]s, the Crozius Arcanum is a mace encased in energy that serves as both a symbol of office and a weapon. Counts exactly as a Power Maul in 7th ed. The [[Chaos Space Marines|Traitor]] esquivalent, the [[Dark Apostle]] uses a functionally identical item, though twisted by Chaos, called an Accursed Crozius.

===Power Sword===
In a nutshell, the power sword is an example of power weapon technology applied to a sword. It's easily the most common power weapon (the [[Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine|Space Marine video game]] only said otherwise so as not to make players feel cheated by the DLC they just bought), and is used not only by the [[Space Marines]], but by the [[Commissar|Commissariat]], [[Daemonhunters|Inquisition]], and [[Imperial Guard]], who, likewise, often issue it to Sergeants and Officers. The [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor of Mankind]] and most of the [[Primarchs]] who had swords used Power Swords. As of 6th edition, Power Swords are now AP3, screwing over many units and characters who have swords modeled on, such as [[Mephiston]], resulting in Terminators becoming absurdly hard to kill in assaults. Now, with armour modifiers, power swords will be pretty useful against Terminators again.

====Relic Blade====
A two-handed power sword, which on the tabletop results in +2S (so S+2 AP3) and two-handed (can't benefit from a second weapon, although curiously there is no ban on taking two items that both do this, which currently only means you can wield a relic blade '''and''' a storm shield). For some reason this also applies to [[derp|officers in Terminator armor.]] Despite the fluff stating that they can use weapons that other Astartes can't. Don't bother with Relic Blade upgrades for Captains and Chapter Master if a melee based Chapter Relic has better stats. Which they usually will. It is a decent upgrade if the Chapter Relic replaces a ranged weapon, armor or Storm Shield. Honor Guards and Vanguard Sergents can also use them. Though it is a huge waste on the latter if he doesn't have a Storm Shield.

===Shock Mace===
An older-model power weapon favored by the [[Chaos|traitor legions]], the Shock Mace is functionally a Crozius Arcanum (see above), but without the status symbol.

===Power Axe===
Power Axes are single or double-bladed axes with their edges sheathed in energy. Power Axes are especially favored by the [[Space Wolves]], [[Chaos Lord]]s and [[Techpriest|Techpriests]] of the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]].

On the tabletop, Power Axes are AP2, +1S and Unwieldy, making your unit strike at I1. This is probably going to be your only way to cheaply kill Terminators in assault, if they haven't overwatched your guys to death or happen to be using Thunder Hammers and Storm Shields.

===Power Maul===
Power Mauls are whatever form of bashin' stick or stave a Space Marine, human or xenos supreme race's can get their hands on and turn into a relatively hi-tech weapon. If you can conceivably clobber someone over the head with it, it doesn't look heavy enough to be a Thunder Hammer, and it has room to tape a disruption field generator on somewhere along the haft, it's probably a Power Maul.

Crunch-wise, Power Mauls are AP4, +2 Str and Concussive. This means they bounce off MEQs (but wound on a 2+, at least), and when wielded by aforementioned MEQs turn any variety of Spess Pansy or Humie not wearing power armor into meat slurry, multiple wounds be damned. Great for challenges against the aforementioned T3 squishies.

===Power Scythes===
A form of Power Weapon shaped like a scythe. Power Scythes were generally unwieldy and never caught on with the Imperial military outside the Legiones Astartes, and even then they were only popular with the [[Death Guard]], who used a massive type of Power Scythe known as ''Manreapers''. Even in that particular case, they were only used by their [[Primarch]] [[Mortarion]], some officers (like First Captain [[Typhus|Calas Typhon]]), and the Deathshroud Terminators. Crunch wise they're power axes with reaping blow instead of unwieldy, giving the wielder +1 attack provided there is an enemy in base contact at the cost -1 I. As such, they're nice since they hit before other AP2 weapons. Because of its association with the Death Guard, it should surprise no one that the [[Departmento Munitorum]] cancelled all orders for Power Scythes in M34 due to their complete lack of popularity. Whether or not the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] still have the [[STC]] printouts are unknown, but knowing the AdMech...

===Power Fist===
[[Image:Commissar-Fuck Yeah.jpg|thumb|Commissariat-approved use of Power Fists is to inspire the troops.]]
Also known as big-metal-death-fists-of-doom, and one of the most [[Bolter|iconic]] weapons of 40k, '''Power Fists''' are massive gauntlets which are encased within an energy field that breaks down molecular bonds when activated. They are intended to be worn with [[Terminator]] armour, but frequently you find people wearing Power Armour, or even '''NOT''' wearing Power ''Anything'', wielding Power Fists. The Emperor of Mankind had a power fist on his left hand, which he used to famously put [[Leman Russ]] in his place. Russ later said that the subsequent headache was from the drinking contest they had.

They are commonly used as an anti-armor weapon. Yes, you heard correctly. Brave bastards will [[Fist of the North Star|punch tanks until they explode]]. That's how fucking badass this universe is.

[[Ork]]s, in their looting tendencies, have taken to mimicking Power Fists as '''Power Klaws''', which are like Power Fists except that they usually have 2-4 digits, and have massive grabbing blade-claws instead of articulated fingers. [[Commissar Yarrick]] famously killed an Ork and used his Power Klaw to replace his severed forearm. Why the [[Commissar|Commissariat]] has not censured him for using xenos weapons is not entirely clear, but they probably let it slide because he's such a badass. Still, one must wonder how [[Sly Marbo|he goes to sleep, takes a shower, or masturbates with that thing on.]]

Some variants of Power Fist are called '''Power Claws''', which are basically Power Fists with the digits ending in razor sharp claws. You more frequently see them among [[Chaos Space Marines]], but occasionally the [[Raven Guard]] or [[Space Wolves]] use them. The infamous Talon of Horus, used by [[Horus|Horus Lupercal]] to kill [[Sanguinius]] and critically injure the Emperor, and later looted by [[Abaddon|Ezekyle Abaddon]], is a Power Claw with an infamous history. Most of these, however, would technically be considered a form of Lightning Claws (see below).

On the tabletop, Power Fists/Klaws double the user's strength, but makes him strike at I1. A popular tactic was to use it to instagib enemy ICs in assault by hiding the Fister behind other expendable troops, allocating wounds onto them instead. However, with 6th edition, this tactic is mostly rendered moot as now ICs and characters can issue challenges, so the Power Fister will most likely fall in battle should the opponent strike and kill him first or see that both get killed off. New wound allocation rules also make the Fister more likely to have a wound allocated to him, but that is slightly mitigated by the Look Out Sir! rule. [[Dreadnought|Dreadnoughts]] have no such penalty to initiative or benefit of LOS! as they are walking death machines crewed by a crippled vet, yet are strangely not characters.

In 7th edition, challenges can only be issued to models in combat (in attacking distance), and both sides get 3" pile in at their initiative step. Thusly, if you plan carefully you can have the powerfister 6" away from the combat, have the enemy close in and unable to challenge, and then pile in onto combat at initiative step 1.

There has been some speculation on how successful it would be to incorporate Power Fists into truly epic highfives and brofists, but the AdMech has made it perfectly clear that to do so would be [[Heresy|tech-heresy.]]

====Chainfist====
For information on the combi-weapon version of the Power Fist, see [[Chainsword#Chainfist|Chainfist]].

===Lightning Claw===
[[Image:RavenCommander.jpg|thumb|[[Beakie]] [[Raven Guard]] love Lightning Claws.]]
Lightning Claws are a quartet of razor-sharp claws affixed to a gauntlet, each blade of which is a small power weapon. The claws had different designs pre- and post-Heresy, but they mostly function the same.

The pre-heresy design of the Lightning claws is that instead of blades being placed on the dorsal palm, the fingers on the glove are turned into power blades, giving the user a rather terrifying look. This is the wide-spread model that Chaos marines use since it's what they had on hand (''literally'') when they fell back to the Eye of Terror.

The current design of Lightning claws are 3-4 smaller power blades that are placed above the weapon's dorsal palm plating, akin to X-men's Wolverine. This design, although considered totally uncool when compared to the old Power Talons, gives the user the advantage of still having articulated fingers, albeit with digits that are still power fist sized, [https://1d4chan.org/wiki/General_Sturnn though] [https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Vance_Motherfucking_Stubbs some] [https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Governor-Militant_Lukas_Alexander bad ass] imperial guard commanders have been seen with lighting claws for no fluff explained reason. Possible just an oversight that got grandfathered into the later games but it still looks awesome so we're let it slide. Though two of those guys are from the same regiment (Cadian 412th) so maybe it's just a quirky tradition of that one regiment.

And then there are some gems like [[Lugft Huron]]'s which have both dorsal ''and'' finger claws.

They are normally used in pairs. Favored by Terminators and Chaos Raptors, Lightning Claws are a bit unwieldy, but are much more likely to land a damaging hit on a target when used by a trained user (in tabletop, this translates to re-rolling failed to-wound rolls). They are also AP3, so it is now pointless to use them against Terminators, but they will mince up MEQs and blobs. The Raven Guard in particular often employ Lightning Claws. Always remember [[meme|to say "snikt" when using them]] and to take them off before attempting to masturbate or pick your nose. [[Slaanesh|Or don't]].

===Power Lance===
A weapon used almost exclusively by the [[White Scars]], Power Lances are energy-sheathed lances which the White Scars use in charging their opponents on their bikes. You can imagine the results.

Tabletop-wise, Power Lances are AP3 +1S on the charge but become AP4 and default strength in following assault phases. Since few box sets come with Power Lance bits, a lot of converting is to be done if you want to kit out your models with Power Lances. They're pretty awful in the hands of anything without Hit And Run. Honestly, they're pretty awful even in the hands of anything with Hit and Run. If you want the +1S, use a power axe. If you want AP3, use a power sword. If you want high strength and don't care about the AP, use a power maul. The only round Power Lances are better than the others is the charging round, so only take them if you think you can win a fight in the first round. If not then stick to the other choices.

===Power Halberd===
[[Image:GK_Terminator_halberd.jpg|thumb|Pictured: Actually a force halberd.]]
A large power weapon in the shape of a glaive. Though a functional weapon, Power Halberds are largely ceremonial weapons used by [[Space Marine]] [[Honour Guard]]s when on sentry duty, although the White Scars will use them in combat. The [[Adeptus Custodes|Custodes]] also used power halberds with attached bolters, but those weapons are to regular power halberds what Custodes are to regular marines. Not wanting to get left behind, CM [[Asterion Moloc]] "[[Blood Ravens|acquired]]" one of those and [[Awesome|slapped a freaking lascannon onto it.]] Doesn't have an actual model because GW is lazy.

===Thunder Hammer===
Big war hammers (''40k'') that smash anything they touch, and popularly paired with Storm Shields. Unlike other power weapons, Thunder Hammers only activate their energy fields upon contact with a target. This works like a flash capacitor, and utterly ''explodes'' whatever Thunder Hammers hit - in editions [[Dark_Age_of_Technology|long past]] this meant they always scored a wound whenever they hit, no roll was needed. Comes in one-handed and two-handed varieties, but both functionally are the same weapon stat-wise. Particularly common among Terminators, although the [[Salamanders]] love it (going with [[Vulkan]]'s training as a blacksmith and the artificer themes of the Promethean Creed).
Gameplay wise, they're basically the same as Powerfists, except when attacking vehicles they will at a minimum get a "Crew Shaken" if they glance or penetrate, in addition to whatever else they roll on vehicle destruction. From 6th ed onwards, the special effect was changed to the "Concussive" rule; any target that takes a wound (but survives) is reduced to Initiative 1 till the end of the next assault phase, simulating disorientation from the explosive impact, making it very effective even against big gribblies that are tough enough to avoid Instant Death.
Fun fact: Captains could not use thunder hammers without wearing terminator until Dawn of War proved how awesome it looked.

===Heavy Thunder Hammer===
These monstrosities are used by the [[Deathwatch]] for when a regular thunder hammer won't do the job. Being two-handed, you sacrifice the ability to wield a shield for the chance to one-shot most high-value targets.

===Daemonhammer===
It's a big thunder hammer that is consecrated with inscriptions, sacred oils, and unguents to allow it to defeat [[Daemon|Daemons]]. In the old Daemonhunters army book, it struck daemons without the initiative penalty a thunder hammer usually had, but as of the Grey Knights codex, it was changed into a [[Psychic_Weapons#Nemesis_force_weapon|Nemesis Force Weapon]].

===Xenophase Blades===
These weapons are used exclusively by Deathwatch Sergeants and Captains, as their mere use is borderline heretical due to their xenos (likely Necron) origins. Xenophase blades are basically power swords that force a reroll on invuln saves, as they have the ability to ''teleport past armor''. Needless to say, that makes them extremely invaluable weapons.

{{40k-Imperial-Weapons}}

==Eldar Power Weapons==
The Eldar have the knowledge to create power weapons as well: theirs are of a lighter, more elegant design, and are used almost exclusively by the Howling Banshee aspect warriors.

===Diresword===
A Power Sword with a twist used by an [[Exarch]] of the [[Dire Avengers]]. In addition to being a power weapon, a Diresword is also a spirit stone, housing a great Exarch of the past. When connecting with the target, the Eldar soul within will attempt to destroy the opponent's mind.

===Eldar Power Sword===
Used by the [[Howling Banshees]], these weapons are of a more elegant design than their Imperial counterparts: they have a single edge and have a curve at the tip of the blade. Though being lighter, these weapons have more metal at the tip, allowing them to strike just as hard as an Imperial power weapon.

===Mirrorswords===
Somewhat smaller than, but otherwise identical to the regular power swords, these blades are used in pairs by the Exarchs of the Howling Banshees. The style that they are used in allows the wielder to deliver a far higher amount of blows on a target than with regular power swords.

===Executioner===
A glaive, this power weapon greatly enhances the power behind the user's blows, allowing the warrior to slice its enemies in half with ease. Exarchs of the Dire Avengers aspect use a similar, but lighter weapon for superior range over their enemies.

===Powerblades===
Attached to the user's forearms, these weapons grant the wielder the advantages of a power weapon while allowing the user to keep his hands free. Used mainly by Exarchs of the [[Warp Spiders]] aspect.

===Scorpion's Claw===
Scorpion's Claw is an Eldar version of a power fist, except it doesn't slow its wielder (in game terms it doesn't have the Unwieldy or Special Weapon rules). Exarchs of the [[Striking Scorpions]] wear this on one hand while holding a chainsword in the other. It's a big claw with a shuriken pistol inside.

{{40k-Eldar-Weapons}}

==Dark Eldar Power Weapons==
While many of the Dark Eldar's weapons have only cosmetic differences to those of Eldar design, there are a few that are more unique

===Klaive===
These massive two-handed swords are the staple weapon of the Incubus and are regarded by them as "The ultimate weapon". These enormous cleavers are AP2 and +1S while letting you strike at full I. Some squad leaders get the even deadlier Demi-Klaives. They grant an additional S normally, but you can choose to use them as +0S and +2A.

===Djin Blade===
Only available to the most elite of nobles, a Djin blade houses the soul of a fallen Eldar. This grants AP3 and +2A, but on a roll of doubles on the extra attacks the soul rebels and the attacks target the user.

===Agonizer===
A weapon befitting its name, this deadly whip drives the senses of the victim haywire with pain. It grants AP3 and wounds the enemies on a 4+, regardless of toughness.

===Huskblade===
Carved from Desiccator bone, this horrid saber drains the moisture out of its victims in a fraction of a second, leaving nothing behind but a shriveled corpse. It grants AP3 and Instant Death. Now known as the Suckblade.

{{40k-DEldar-Weapons}}

==Tau Power Weapons==
===Onager Gauntlet===
Basically a Tau powerfist equivalent, but can only be used by Crisis-type battlesuits. Often jokingly called "donkey punch" by a players, and sometimes modeled on a suit's legs instead of hands, since "onager" is Latin for donkey (although it was also the name of a Roman catapult).

It was designed to battle Imperial tanks after the Tau realized that those crazy Gue'la can send in so many MEHTUL BAWKSES in a single engagement that Crisis teams would exhaust their ammunition supplies and the Guard would still have tanks rolling everywhere. Despite being ''very'' successfully tested during the Damocles Crusade, where a 12-man team of Crisis suits managed to falcon punch dozens of Imperial tanks into scrap, it is still undergoing field tests and is treated as an experimental system, due to the fact that the casualty rate of trying to give tanks a proper fisting in the middle of a war was too damn high.

Of the original 12 suits who tested the weapon; only Commander Bravestorm of [[Farsight]]'s battlesuit retinue survived....kind of. Although Bravestorm lived, his body was [[Dreadnought|too badly wounded after his Crisis suit was critically damaged at one point that he had to be permanently entombed into his Crisis suit just to survive]].

{{40k-Tau-Weapons}}

[[Category:Chaos]]

'Ardboyz

2017-11-29T08:25:31Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Overview */

[[File:Ork 'Ard Boy.jpg|400px|thumb|right|Ork Boys wear 'Ard Armour because they are right 'ard. ]]

A 'Ardboy is pretty much an [[Ork Boy]] given an upgrade, making him one step closer to becoming a full fledged [[Nob]] and enough to give a [[Space Marine]] a run for his money. 'Ardboyz are so called due to the amount of thick metal scraps they have bolted on to their armor which, over time, has made them as Dead'Ard as a Tank. Usually things like blasted tank armor, tank threads, broken down security doors, shattered ceramite from destroyed [[Space Marine]] [[Power Armor]] are used as components that makes up Eavy Armor or 'Karapace' as some would like to call it. This is the stuff that makes up their armor and despite poor maintenance, the result is armor than can withstand most small arms fire. This gives the 'Ard Boyz the unfortunate appearance/targets of walking magnets both in [[Fluff]] and in [[Crunch]], though it is considered [[Rage|unwise to tell them.]]

'Ardboyz are best known for their appearance in [[Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine|SPESS MEHREEN: THE VIDYA]] and were notorious for being a tough and challenging opponent. Soaking up so much [[Dakka]] for a non-boss unit that it borderlines obscene and ironically being a more difficult opponent to fight than the [[Nemeroth|last boss]] [[FAIL|of the game.]]

==Overview==
[[File:Ard_boy.png|300px|left|thumb|The most annoying enemies to fight.]]

An 'Ard Boyz Mob consists of 10 to 30 'Ard Boyz which may include a [[Nob]]. For every ten Orks in the Mob one might be armed with either a big shoota or a rokkit launcha. 'Ardboyz are heavily armored Ork Boyz who own and wear 'Eavy Armor. Only veterans who have managed to survive many battles and slaughtered many foes have the chance to scavenge sufficient materials to build or purchase such an Armor. This also means that 'Ardboyz are [[Lootas|excellent scavengers]] even above the normal Ork ability.

On the battlefield, 'Ardboyz will congregate together in warbands, and simply charge forwards, trusting in their heavy armor to keep them alive long enough to reach their targets and chop the enemy to bits.

Because of their role as a moving shield, other Orks view them with merit and therefore, 'Ard Boyz spearhead Ork advances to take advantage of their increased durability which allows them to survive heavy fire fights with barely a scratch and protect their fellow ork comrades from being picked off. Of course, some Boyz may view their bros as nothing more than a [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX|useful distraction that attracts all their firepower to one direction]] [[Just As Planned|whilst the rest of the mob close in and attack a vulnerable position.]]

Mobs of 'Ardboyz retain all the versatility of classic Boyz mobs, thus being able to fill the roles of [[Ork Boy#Shoota Boyz|Shoota Mobs]] or [[Ork Boy#Slugga Boyz|Slugga Mobs,]] but usually go for the latter, as their armor proves more useful when close to the enemy.

In the Ork hierarchy, 'Ard Boyz tend to hold a position just below Nobs (though given the unpredictability and flexibility of Orks this is not a hard rule). More techno-hesitant Ork Clanz (such as the Snakebites) tend to look down upon 'Ard boyz, seeing their love for heavy armor as a sign of weakness and cowardice. 'Ard Boyz are more frequent among the Bad Moons and Deathskulls Clanz, as both of those Clanz tend to be naturally wealthy or streetwise enough to gather the materials for the armor. They usually grow arrogant and laugh at their less-armored comrade casualties, who in turn call them [[Troll|"walking magnets"]] (referring to their attitude to pick up scraps for their armor as they proceed in the battle) when not heard.

==Equipment==

A typical warband of 'Ardboyz is composed of between half a dozen and a score of Orks, more often than not lead by an 'Ardboy Nob. All of them are equipped with their 'Eavy Armor, and each 'Ardboy wields either a Shoota or a combination of Slugga and Choppa. 'Ardboyz are often equipped with Stikkbombz and a couple of them will wield either a Big Shoota, Rokkit Launcher or Burna to add more punch to their warband's firepower. Some of them even carry around giant riot shields that are actually thick, metal doors which provides further protection from bolter fire. The 'Ardboy Nob will have his own personal wargear, often a large Power Klaw that can rip through anything that tries to resist his Boyz.

{{Orks-Forces}}

Ork

2017-10-22T08:01:34Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Ork Teknology */

{{awesome}}
'''''"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"''''' 
:-Da Orks, all da zoggin' time.
[[File:Orks attack3.jpg|600px|thumb|right|'Ere we zoggin' go, let's break sum' 'eads!]]
{{Topquote|War means fighting, and fighting means killing.|Nathan Bedford Forrest}}
{{Topquote|War is the business of barbarians.|Napoleon Bonaparte}}

The '''Orks''' are a race in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Commonly known as "Greenskins" or "the Green Tide", they're probably the most numerous and infestive race in the entire 40K setting, or at least on par with the [[Tyranids]]. They have a ''[[Warhammer Fantasy]]'' equivalent, the only major differences being that fantasy Orks are now called Orruks, and they have a (slightly) lower level of technology relative to the setting.

==Overview==
[[File:Ork_Boy.jpg|200px|thumb|left|[[Ork_Boy|The original Boy]]. This guy has been around since 2nd ed.]]
Orks are the most successful race of the [[Warhammer 40,000 | 41st millennium]]. Despite their entire lack of structured education or training, they seem to be very proficient with all kinds of technology, which they inevitably utilize for their armaments (of which firearms and vehicles are the most common). This is explained away in the fluff by their origins: they were created by the [[Old Ones#Warhammer 40,000|Old Ones]] to be a warrior race called the ''Krork,'' and some of them (the Mekboyz) were genetically hard-wired to have a pre-programmed proficiency for technological engineering. Unfortunately, the Old Ones died before they could finish their little science project; specifically the psychic control mechanism. The ancient Krork were known to have fought the ancient Eldar empire when the latter was at the peak of its power and were implied to have been a considerable threat (a Harlequin in M32 compares the nearly invincible hordes of the Beast as being like children compared to them).
This means that such war machines simply fight everything, everywhere, all the time. In principle, Orks can loot just about anything: the minor greenskins, such as "Grotz" ([[goblin]]s) can construct several working vehicles and machines out of mere scrap (They actually can't but orks believe they can so it happens see: a few paragraphs below).

The Orks derive much of their success from their reproductive process: Orks are, essentially, a psychosensitive hybrid of animal and fungi, not unlike a very complex version of a lichen. One advantage is a redundancy of vital organs, making them able to easily survive events such as head transplants and the fact that it's not easy to kill an individual Ork since they could very well shrug off injuries that would put a human to a crippled state. In fact there is a [[Valhalla|Valhallan]] folktale about a relative finding an Ork, [[Carnifex#Old_One_Eye|thawing it out only for it to attempt to kill them]]. Another advantage is their ability to grow larger as they win more battles (due to the aforementioned psychosensitivity): an Ork who is winning a fight is enjoying himself, which causes fluctuations in the gestalt field that all Orks generate. These fluctuations supercharge the Ork's physiology, causing the Ork to gain muscle mass and evolve. Consequently, if an Ork should somehow be incapable of fighting (like being imprisoned); they will actually ''devolve'' instead, causing the Ork to become pudgy and lethargic. This was observed during [[Xenology]] where a captive Ork was eventually found morbidly obese when the Inquisitor brought him out for dissection. Hence,the saying: "Orkz iz made fer fighten' and winnin'" applies literally in their case, as the incentives of fighten' and winnin' are what makes or breaks an Ork.

In addition, the fungal part of their physiology allows Orks to reproduce asexually en masse through underground fungal colonies that act as self-sustaining ecosystems. Reproductive spores enter the topsoil, produce fungal mycelia that assimilate base nutrients and could exchange genetic information with other mycelia, putting normal Human sexual reproduction to shame, and eventually produce lesser Orkoids: squigs and Grotz. The Grotz cultivate the protein-rich squigs in preparation for the emergence of the greater Orks, which take longer to develop. All in all, this cycle was designed to fight against the Necrons, which sterilized a planet to its bacteria. Orks can terraform a barren planet into a veritable paradise this way, though what defines "paradise" is a point of discussion; if you like endless wars and tribal conflicts in a mushroom rich planet, it probably is. IS YOU SAYIN' DERE'S FINGS WHAT DON'T LIKE FIGHTIN' FEREVER? DEM UMIES IS REEL GOOD AT MAKIN' FORTS FER US TA KRUMP, SO DEY MUST LIKE FIGHTIN'...

Though all Orks discharge reproductive spores throughout their lives, the most significant and numerous emissions occur when an Ork ''is dismembered or dies.'' This means that, for Orks, combat and death are their principal means of reproduction and genetic exchange, and a Space Marine/Guardsman chainsawing/shooting/artillery-bombarding an ork just results in ten thousands, if not millions, of Orks coming for ya, kinda like [[tyranids]]. Nice Job chainsawing it, Space Marine. Due to this, an Ork infestation is incredibly hard to handle if kept unchecked since it won't take them long to get enough boyz to launch a full-scale WAAAGH! to overrun an entire planet and necessitate [[Exterminatus]]. We can use flamethrowers, [[Plasma]], nukes, [[melta]] weapons or anything high-energy to eradicate any spores and fungi, saving the world from the eventual Exterminatus, but then again, efficiency ain't manly n' [[grimdark]] enough compared to good ol' spore-releasing bolters, chainswords and artillery.

Orks only have two popular combat doctrines: [[Choppa|choppy]], which involves giving your opponents a good stomping up close, and [[dakka|shooty]] which involves spitting out as many bullets as possible with an assortment of shootas, and the faster it shoots; the better. That said, a good shoota should also still be able to kill enemies ''while'' putting out a lot of dakka, otherwise it wouldn't be killy (and woe betide an Ork who isn't killy). Because of the Ork's naturally low penchant for accuracy; they typically get around this problem in two methods: the first one is to have a gun that simply shoots bullets as fast as Orkily possible that the wielder ''should'' be able to hit something eventually (strapping two or more shootas together is a crude but effective way to go about this). The second one is to make the gun really killy every time it shoots, like putting a dangerously high-explosive shell in a kannon that can obliterate an entire building in one shot.

Orks are commonly believed to be stupid and superstitious by the other races of the 40k world, but they can also be cunning and quick on the draw. Orks are always ready for a fight and while you can trick them, they quite like the idea of tricking people back.

Their philosophy of DA RED WUNZ GO FASTA is the ultimate truth: because of the aforementioned gestalt field, Ork vehicles painted red will, ultimately, go faster than Ork vehicles that are ''not'' painted red because the Orks believe that Red makes everything go faster:
DIS 'UMIE GIT THINKZ DAT DA RED WUNZ DON'T GO FASTA? DEY DON'T KNOW DAT ANYFING PAINTED RED MAKES IT DA BEST AN' MAKES IT GO FASTAAAA COZ RED IZ BEST! '''*WHAM!*''' NO IT AIN'T, YA BLEEDIN' SQUIG, '''GREEN''' IZ BEST! '''*Boots up the bog*''' SHUT YER GOB, 'E WAS TALKIN' 'BOUT DA TRUKKS, YA GIT!

We can assume that this cuts both ways, with enemies such as the Blood Angels and White Scars gaining the same boost due to their use of red paint.

A hallmark of Orkoid, for lack of a better term, civilization is the WAAAGH!. Pronounced similar to "war" as the "GH" is silent. Always written in all-caps, with at least three "A"s and an exclamation point, the WAAAGH! occurs when an Ork population reaches critical mass and a dominant Warboss appears. A Warboss is an Ork Alpha who is bigger than all the other Orks and have proven his right to lead by either his sheer size or krumpin' all the other big Orks that thinks otherwise. Lesser Orks sense the presence of the Boss in the Orks' psychic field and follow him on what is often described as a combination of pub riot and holy war with a dash of genocide. The WAAAGH! accomplishes two things: it weeds out weaker Orks, keeping the species strong; and it facilitates genetic exchange and reproduction as the Orks die and release spores.

The Ork economy is based on teef, more information on which [[toof|can be found here]].

Ork religious beliefs also help manage their population. Orks believe in two gods, [[Gork]] and [[Mork]]. One is the god of cunning brutality and the other is the god of brutal cunning, the difference being that one hits you when you aren't looking and the other hits you harder when you are. Unfortunately, no one can decide which god is which, nor can the Orks decide which is better: cunning brutality or brutal cunning. These differences of opinion tend to lead to Gigantic Brawls, yet another method of keeping the Ork race strong, warlike and in check. Their division also keeps them perpetually divided, for it has been theorized that if the Orks were to ever unite in one big WAAAGH!, their gestalt reality-warping field might just as well turn omnipotent and crush all opposition

Ork society is effectively the perfect society. Its society is a Kratocracy (A Government ruled by the strongest, fitting for Orks) in maturity as all disputes are settled fairly quickly and painfully (just the way they like it). The economy is steady, as teef grow and rot at a reliable rate. Once a Boss is in charge, mostly everyone falls into place, and the Orks go and [[/tg/ Gets Shit Done|get shit done]].

Also, they probably killed the Imperial Fists. All of them.

Fun fact: The orks use black and white on their shock troops, because it reminds them of the Luna Wolves who destroyed them at Ullanor. The orks do not fear death, but they do fear the Luna Wolves. That is right, Horus traumatized them as a race more than the fucking grim reaper. Note: Why would you fear death, if death usually results in you being reborn into several thousands of yourself? Horus probably swept the spores up post battle and that's why they fear him. Though it's also worth mentioning that Orks harbor a natural fear of Commander Farsight too, whom they know as "Da Red Commit". Though given that the Dawn Blade consumes the souls of those it kills, it's likely that any Orks cut down by Farsight do not reproduce. But then again he was committing Ork genocide long before he found the blade so...

==Ork Teknology==

[[File:Dat zoggin bigmek by majesticchicken.jpg|220px|thumb|left|A perfect example of Ork tech. Powered by make-believe and the essence of love, and patched together with duct tape and chewing gum, the emperor himself has truly never seen finer craftsmanship or innovation.]]

Ork technology works mainly because the Orks think it does. The official explanation is that the subconscious gestalt psychic field that all Orks generate enables their technology to function; the stronger the field, the more unlikely their technological achievements become. In older versions of the fluff, if you hand an Ork a pipe and convince him it's a gun, it WILL shoot bullets. They're like reality-warping Physical "Gods", only weakened by their stupidity and their preference to fight each other instead of uniting, hence why the Imperium still manages to survive in these dark times. In later versions, this has been toned down from "impossible" to merely "unlikely" because GW won't keep anything canon that's that [[derp|badass]]. If Ork technology is held together by spit, duct tape, and hope, then the Orks' psychic field provides the hope.

For example: a Wartrukk with a mob of Orks in it sputters and dies. Da boyz hop out and have a look.
One of da boyz examines the readouts and says to the Nob driver, "Da bloody fing is outta gas!"
Said Nob hits the offending Ork in the face so hard that he falls unconscious. "Look 'ere, I'z da boss, and I sez I filled this fing up righ' before we left!"
The rest of da boyz look at each other, halfway convinced. He ''is'' the biggest Ork among them, and he ''did'' just prove it. Maybe he ''did'' fill it up right before they left. That's the sort of thing one does when one's in charge. Da boyz begin to file back into the Wartrukk, and with a satisfied nod, the Nob gets in and cranks her up. Because da boyz believe that there is plenty of fuel in the truck, one drop does for ten, and the Wartrukk and da boyz arrive just in time for the next fight.

The purpose for this sort of thing is primarily to compensate for the Orks' technological disadvantage by comparison with races like the [[Tau]], [[Necron]]s, or the [[Eldar]]. For example, a meat cleaver in the hands of an Ork can tear through the toughest ceramite armor if the Ork believes it will; for anyone BUT an Ork, a power weapon or the equivalent would be required to do so. This tends to work well for them, but not for the other races of the galaxy: Imperial observers note that Ork weapons generally will not function in the hands of a non-Ork. The only reason the Orks haven't exploited the limits of their generated gestalt field by creating easily made but devastatingly powerful weaponry that could eclipse the weapons of the other races is that they themselves do not know nor understand that they create said field, they believe that their equipment works because that's how the universe wants it to work, not because they themselves are making it work. Which I guess makes it true. This, in turn, makes for an interesting paradox: If orks managed to understand the physical universe as it is, they would not believe their "weapons" work, thus, stripping them of their psychic advantage. If there is a little ounce of disbelief, this would wreck their ability to... believe hard enough so as to manipulate reality.

This said, Orky know-wots DO have a say in stuff that the Orks build. Mekboyz build much of the stuff they do because they have been genetically ingrained with the knowledge on how to make and maintain their technology. While much of their tech runs because they want to, the basis is that the Orks ''can'' actually build a conceptually working frame to get all Orky on. This explains how Orks can build such technological wonders as the Shokk Attack Gun, which propels [[Snotling|Snotlings]] through the Warp and into the armor, tanks, [[Rape|and bodies]] of their enemies. Also, there ''have'' been instances of Ork tech working well in the hands of other races,( at least for a time till it blows up). Be careful though, most Ork players have ''very'' deep-set opinions on how Orky tech works, and [[skub|debates]] between them can generate much [[RAGE]].

Occasionally, if a "tech-caste" gets into control of an Ork society, ridiculous constructions can result. Best example we know about is the Telon Reach Empire and its central stronghold Gorro. A "scrapworld", Gorro was full of things that shouldn't have worked at all (Horus notes that individual bits of architecture inside were just too mad for any human to contemplate) and could withstand the normally planet-killing weapons on the Vengeful Spirit and Emperor's own flagship. The Orks defending it were far more advanced than most (everything from their augmententations to the accuracy of their ships' weapons) and had actually built a plasma reactor to hold their world together. Their function mostly relied on the Orks' gestalt, as the core began to fail as the Emperor, Horus and their respective posses carved through the population. Once the Emperor killed the resident Warboss and psychically burned the rest of the Orks (a preview of what he'd eventually do to Horus) the system went into total meltdown.

===Special Note on Orky Vehicles===
To properly describe what Ork vehicles are like is a difficult prospect, or perhaps an overlooked opportunity. Either way, few actually attempt to clarify in tangible terms what orkish vehicle-makers create.

Let's start with the venerable Trukk. Keep in mind that the standard Ork Boy is a hunched, monstrous, 7-foot-tall Hulk Hogan. Now, the Trukk is essentially an over-sized, skeletal pickup truck, with armored bus tires and a spiked ram-plate for a bumper. The frame is then covered in all manner of inch-thick armor plating, the basic standard in orkish vehicle armor. No Ork vehicle with more than two wheels has an engine smaller than a V8, and the trukk is no exception. A common brag for a trukk owner, "I'z put twelve silenderz in dis 'ere kart" (when not met with the classic "You shoulda sprung fer forteen!" comeback), is similar to a human saying he put an extra two cylinders in his car and overhauled his transmission.

Larger orkish vehicles, like the Big Trakk, often use V14 engines that any human would say belongs on a fishing trawler. Alternatively, some vehicles use turbine engines for extra torque (which is always a good thing) and a higher top speed (also a good thing), or crackling electrical engines (less popular than a good-old combustion engine, but can "accidentally" taze pesky Lootas or enemies who get too close (i.e. rammed)). Big Trakks are literally the size of a heavy tank, but are completely open-topped to provide a chassis for hauling Boyz or insanely big gunz into the fight. They have banks of fat-tired wheels or, most likely, four-plus-foot-wide treads. They have as much torque as a Battle Wagon and fear no infantry.

==Orks and the Emperor==

One theory of the [[Emperor|Emprahs]] continued existence (despite the fact his throne is in serious need of an MOT) is the fact that the Orks BELIEVE it to be so. As any self-respecting Weirdboy will tell you, what da boyz fink will 'appen (see below), so if they think the Emperor is still alive then alive he will be. Probably cos they're not stupid enough to realise he's a corpse more fucked than a Slaaneshi cultist at Ciaphas Cain's place.. 'ANG ON A SECOND.. I FINK DEY BE MAKIN FUN OF US...WELL.....MAYBE WE OUTTA GO STOMP SUM HUMIES! (thas rite, the "chaos boys" are messing with you orks, go stomp them in the name of the Emp... For the WAAAGGGHH!. aehm..)

==Special Groups of Orks==
Apart from the regular Boyz, there are several groups of Orks who specialize in a specific task or doctrine. Called Oddboys (if they are relatively normal when fighting time rolls around) or Wyrdboys (when they shoot lighting out of their eyes, gunz or eye-gunz). The most common ones are:

===[[Oddboys|Oddboyz]]===
This category is filled with Orks who express genetic predispositions to certain tasks. Here are your Mekboys (engineers), Painboys (doctors), Weirdboys (psykers), Madboyz (psychos), Slaverz (take care of grots, snotlings and slaves), [[Dorfs|Brewerz]] (makers of alcohol; retconned), [[Noise Marines|Rockaz]] (musicians; also retconned), and Shoutaz (communications experts).

====Kult of Speed====

[[File:Kult o speed by majesticchicken.jpg|250px|thumb|right|'''WAAAAAAAAGHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''']]

[[Speed freeks]] who commonly go into the battlefield on bikes hyped up on dakka and flashy bitz, as their name suggests, they'z like goin' faster dan fast. On tabletop, they're okay, since they're really shooty for Orks and fairly cheap. These guys field the classic Mobile Ork Army, which causes loads of [[Butthurt]] and [[Rage]] when people go up against them. Just look out for Lascannons.
*'''[[Deff Skwadron | Flyboys]]''' - Crazed pilots that like fast vehicles, death defying stunts, and lots of dakka. The better pilots, fighta aces, are held in great esteem only by other flyboys and tend to give themselves crazy-cool nicknames.

====[[Burna Boyz | Burna boyz]]====
Burna boyz are similar to standard orks in ability, possessing no unique qualities except every one of them being a pyromaniac. These boys are the type who would burn their own mother alive if she tried to stop them from playing with matches, even though Orks technically don't have moms. As such, they regularly burn their own comrades for the hell of it (to see them 'do da burny dance'). Their obsession with fire is of course, genetically coded, and this has a particular disadvantage during periods of time where stealth is of the essence. In fact, this pyromania coupled with the rate of accidental deaths among Orks may explain why Burna boyz aren't more common; after all, an Ork that accidentally burns himself to death wouldn't be able to spread his spores so easily. On a more lighthearted note, they are also quite fond of fungus cigars! GREEN IZ BEST

====[[Mekboy|Mekboys]]====
Meks are Orks who are capable of making the ramshackle yet effective weapons and vehicles the Orks use. They're primarily the ones who makes the warband's wagons, restore salvaged vehicles, and create/modify weapons. An Ork who lead bands of Mekboys is called a "Big Mek", and is a bitch to kill on tabletop if he's kitted out. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZQdaEFa_60 Five-up cover saves for everyone!] 'Ho says we aint smart 'n' such! Only fing betta den an ork is an ork wif a good bit of technorkology 

====[[Tankbustas]]====
Many Orks enjoy the odd explosion. These guys like that so much that they decided what better way to get their kicks than to get into a nice squad of 5-15 boys and try blowing tanks sky high with their rokkits. They also train Squigs to run into tanks while strapped to the hilt with explosives. And if neither of that works, run into close-combat and strike the tank with a rokkit attached to a metal stick. They get so high off this that they will enter the broken vehicle, eat any survivors, and drink the motor oil in a ritual act known as "GETTIN' TANKED!" 

====[[Lootas]]====
Lootas are Orks who are obsessed with pimping out their shootas by salvaging bitz from their enemies. Lootas are critically important to Orkish mechanical industry, because they head salvage operations and assist Meks where Grots can't. They're also the ones who loot wrecked tanks and vehicles after a battle to use as Looted Wagons, with the help of Mekboys, which means Orks can remobilize rapidly, and scale up to match tank-driving foes. <strike>When not fighting or looting, Lootaboyz are a menace to Orky society, stealing, swindling, making trouble, and being the reason other Boyz can't have nice things.</strike> WOT?! YIZ SAYIN' DERE'S TIME WHEN DA ORKZ AIN'T FOIGHTIN' OR LOOTIN'?! I OUTTA GIVE YA A STAMP!!!

====[[Flash Gitz]]====
<strike> DA PIMPIEST ORK IZ DA BESTEST ORK!!!!!!</strike> Dat is why dey arrogant Gits. They are another group of shoota-obsessed Orks known as "Flash Gitz"; rich, obnoxious Bad Moonz gits who buy powerful weapons and upgrades using their large stockpiles of [[toof|teef]]. They love nothing more than showing off their wealth and (supposedly associated) martial power. They do things like wearing ''FABOLOUS'' clothing, sporting huge banners declaring their awesomeness (shogun-style), and plating everything they have in gold, silver, platinum, or any other shiny metal they have at hand (although gold is preferred). Goldz iz da bestest. Flash Gitz boast the shootiest kustom shootaz in all of orkdom, sometimes known as "snazzgunz", which makes them an invaluable asset to their clan. Conversely, due to their boasting and attitude problems they often alienate pretty much every other Ork they work with, and are prone to getting their arrogant asses booted out of their group the moment they become less useful than annoying.

====[[Freebooterz]]====
Orks who raid and pillage the galaxy as MOTHERFUCKING PIRATES. And just to add to their awesomeness, they'll usually dress and/or speak like pirates. (W)AAARG! Well-known individuals include Kaptins Badrukk and Bludflagg.

====[[Ork Kommando|Kommandos]]====
Orks who managed to figure out that charging a gunline isn't always the best option, so dey'z da sneakiest of da Orks. They typically paint themselves purple, which Orks believe is the sneakiest color (and because Orks are Orks, purple does in fact make them harder to see ... don't ask how the fuck that one works, it just does Hav you eva seen a purpul ork? Course not, dey's too sneaky . Kommandos rely on stealth tactics rather than balls-out firepower, and achieve this by using crude camouflage techniques, Speshul Forces equipment such as NVGs, various types of grenades, and all those other gubbins that makes them all sneaky. The concept of Orks using tactics beyond drowning their enemies in corpses and bullets is so completely out there that a lot of Imperial commanders [[Skaven|do not believe that Kommandos actually exist]], but nobody laughed when a Kommando unit suddenly [[Blood Ravens|hi-jacked]] a unit of 3 [[Deathstrike Missile Launcher]]s inside a Mordian regiment's lines drove 1 to the front and proceeded to launch it at the their front lines, killing thousands, including a [[Baneblade]] (Except for the Orks, who laughed their faces off as this was happening). Meanwhile, the Kommandos ran off with the remaining one and 2 extra missiles.

Kommandos are typically distrusted by Orks due to their chosen battle strategy. They view as sneaking about rather than getting to a fight, right and proppa as "Muckin' about". The enjoyment of the color purple among them is also considered right strange. As there aint no such thing as a purple ork!

In practice, all of this boils down to a fairly simple difference in tactics. Whereas a normal Ork Boy will see the enemy and immediately [[WAAAGH|shout]], run up to him, and smash him in the head, a Kommando will see the enemy, hide behind a nearby [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|bush]]/[[Dorf|barrel]]/[[Creed|lamp-post]] and wait for the enemy to get close like 5 feet to 2 meters, THEN shout, run up to him, and smash him in the head.

An ork asked about Kommando groups. "I dinna see anyfing... Do you?"

====Feral Orks====
Hidden away in GW fluff are these guys. These guys are what happens after a WAAAGH! has left your planet. They crop up in wildernesses and form tribes. They don't have technology (like shootas) or any kind of mekboys or even good resources to build junk. They are roughly on par with your [[Warhammer Fantasy|Fantasy]] Orks, so you can just use your Fantasy army in 40k if you can fluff your army right. Not like it matters, it's the same tactic either game. They tend to have Grots, Kommandos and Weirdboys coming out of their ears, and love to ride big squigs. If you don't prune them back to the forest well enough, they might sic buttloads of squiggoths on you. Snakebites love these guys, and if space-born Orks pick them up, Feral Orks usually become Snakebites anyway.

They breed a special kind of Oddboy, the Pigdok, who is a combination of a Mek and a Dok, but excels at neither. They do surgical procedures like a stereotypical medicine man, wander around covered in robes and talismans given to them by the Weirdboy Shamans, and head the construction of things like ballistas and catapults, all the way up to magical stompy Idols and the [[Titans_40k#Orky_Titans|Steam Gargant]].

====[[Weirdboy | Weirdboyz]]====
Weirdboyz are Orks who are active psykers. All Orks are passive psykers, emitting their gestalt field, but Weirdboyz are the only ones who can decide they're gonna blow another Ork's face off with a mean look and a lightning bolt (well, the only Orks who can decide to do it and it'll happen). They tend to be crazy and can blow up if they're not careful. Even when they are careful. Sometimes blowing up is the preferred/expected option for a Weirdboy.

==Retcons==
All following Ork Oddboys have been retconned, at least by GW's word. They live on in our hearts (and custom-models) as:

===Rokkas===
[[Rogue Trader]] Orks with a penchant for hard rock, metal, leather armor, and overgrown hair squigs. While still technically retconned, they do seem to keep cropping up in the fluff. Also known as Goff Rokkas, these boyz tend to come out of the Goffs exclusively, but it isn't completely unknown for other Clans to spit out one of these crazy green "musicians". They play machine gun guitars and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_wdRy7x4Sc PARTY 'ARD!!!]
It should be noted that Rokkas were invented in the Eighties, so they don't play things like Death Metal as much as they do generic Metal, 80's Metal, electric guitar ballads, and Hard Rock. It should also be noted that they are still available on Games Workshop's site. PARTY ON!
===Shoutas===
These orks have over-developed lungs and super-strong vocal cords so that they can [[Derp|yell really loud.]] Yes, you heard me right. They yell across Gargant-tops and over battlefield din to act as a telecommunications array. <strike>See, not all things that were retconned were too good to last.</strike> '''SHUDDUP STOOPID HUMIE, WHUT DO YOU KNOW?!?!?! SHOUTAS IZ DA BEST!!!!!!!'''

'''YOU'Z CALL DAT SHOUTIN'? YOU'Z AIN'T A REEL SHOUTA, YA GIT!'''


'''A REAL SHOUTA'''

'''DROWNS OUT DA'''

'''COMPUTISHUN!'''

'''I Konkur!'''


'''I'z prefur sneekin' up to some hummie and shoutin' in iz ear from reel gut close.'''


Anyone caught messing with this section again will get their shit handed to them. Do you know how fucking hard it is to make sure this shit is right? I can't do this AND dodge those fucking Orks. I'm a janitor, not a FUCKING NINJA!

'''See, iffin' you'z had sum of dat purpley paint, dis wouldn' be a problem now, would it?'''

''' 'e got youz good, e' did. aneewayz da squigs ated da inturn again. Git ta cleenen dat wod ya.'''

===Brewerz===
Again, not technically retconned, but never mentioned after about 3rd Edition. Brewerz, or Brewer Boyz function much like Mekboys or Mad Doks do, knowing the inns and outs of brewing through genetically inherited inntuition. They make alcohol out of squigs. Made everything from beers to malts to meads to liquors to scotches. Yes, certain squigs can be made into scotch. No, no grains are involved in the process. No, they've never don this in Scotland. No, you may not question this.
SQUIGGIE WALKER - RED LABEL! COS IT ZOGZ YOU IN DA BRAIN FASTA!
''Eend out of mashrooms too booss!'' 
Basically, they brew babies into beer sometimes. 
 
<strike>'''HERESY, ORK HERESY, ANY IMPERIAL CITIZENS WILL BE MURDERED ON SIGHT AFTER READING THIS.'''</strike>''' *WHAM* OY BOSS, DEM HUMIES IZ TRYN'A TAKE AWAYZ OUR SQUIG JUICE!
'''

''' Zoggin DAMN'IT! NOT AGAIN!'''

===Female Orks===

MY EYES!!!! THEY BURN!!!

Vaguely referenced in older fluff and glimpsed during Blood Bowl, sacrificed because nobody wants to see those canonized saggy Ork tits (Except [[/d/]]), and fucking whores (and ye mum). Suffice to say, some drawfags will still draw them and several on [[/tg/]] will doubtlessly [[Faptau|fap]] to it. Considering how many random mutations are seen amongst the Orks, the possibility is [[Meme|more likely than you'd think]]. In normal canon, Orks are asexual, popping out of fungal growths in the ground...

...but in the older fluff, when the Orks were basically Fantasy Orcs in space, there ''were'' female orks. Later fluff [[retcon]]ned this, so that in later parts of their life cycle Orks would temporarily develop sexual characteristics and go bang one another. For the sake of Games Workshop's writers' self-respect, this too was also retconned. And all but the drawfags are happy for that. All in all though, the idea of female orks or goblinoids of any sort is much more readily accepted across most genres involving greenskins of any sort, so the decision may more likely have been to make the Orks dependent on getting blown up to repopulate along with being hardlined for blockbuster style war (though, as with all evolution, this is mutable to change, as there are Orks like the Blood Axes who understand ideas like trading with da' humies', peace, and using functional armor and weapons that don't stop working just because da' mob' believes dey are useless. SEE, HUMIES ARE GUD' F'R SOME FINGS BUT NOT EVERY FING!).

 Oi'm twalf an' wots dis? 

===Brain Boyz===
Brain Boyz is how the Orks call the Old Ones. The retcon is that the Orks' origin has shifted around a few times, such as the Brain Boyz being the ancestors of the Snotlings (although the Orks still believe that, but it's no longer the official explanation it was in Rogue Trader).

(Dat'z still canon! Codex 7th ED 2014 and we'z seen it in the one before dat un!!!! What shrooms did ya zoggin' gits eat?!)

==Ork Klanz==
Oi, listen up ya gits. Dere's six diverant majah clanz of Ork, and dey's all right 'ard. Da clanz waz made way back by [[The Beast|the biggest, baddest warboss dere eva waz]], startin' out as his specialist boyz before dey became dey own klanz.

<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Dere's da '''Snakebites''', and dey'z a buncha fundie gits what won't use any teknowlogy more complicated den a [[choppa]] an' warpaint. Anytime dere's a world dat a WAAAAAGH smashed up, it gets full o' fundie boyz. When we pick em up, dey run off ta da Snakebites anyway instead o' learnin how ta fight propa. But dey got squiggoths, an' every WAAAAGH needs really big killy tings. Snakebites wear brown, like a buncha zoggin' Amish folk.
* Da '''Bad Moonz''', what gotz lotsa teef 'cause dey grow faster den any other orks, so dey'z a buncha rich gits. 'at meanz dat dey's got da best squigs and dakka, but since dey'z such lazy gits, dey's [[Tau|no good at choppin' an' stompin']], so other orks can always just find a Bad Moon and stomp his teef out. Bad Moonz wear Yella, da color a big booms and shiny bits.
* '''Goffs''' are a buncha gloomy gits what don't ever have any fun and don't give a grot's toss about dakka, but dey'z somma da 'ardest of all da orks. [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]] himself wuz a Goff. Dats why he's so big, 'ard, an mean. Goffs wear black, da color a bein' DED 'ARD!
* Da '''Evil Sunz''''re all part a da Kult a Speed, and dey've got da most Meks, so dey're always muckin' about with teknowlogical equipment an speedy karts. Deyz big believas in da color red, cuz RED 'UNZ GO FASTA!
* '''Deffskullz''' are a buncha teevin', lootin' gits what'll grab anyfing <del>what's not nailed</del> if it's nailed down they'll loot the nails den loot da fing that was nailed down an' make it orky. [[Looted|Anyfing]]. Even in da middle of a scrap. Da mekz loves em, though, cuz nobody'z got more bitz and gubbinz than a Deffskull Loota. Deffskullz all seemz ta have some kinda technikal know-wotz, dough. Deffskullz wear da color Blue, cuz Blue's a lucky color.
* And, last of all but not least, dere's da '''Blud Axez'''. Dey're da ones what've been hangin' around da stinkin' humies fer ages too long, and gone and developed all sorts a un-orky tings like ''taktiks'' an' ''recownasense'' an' ''camo'flage'' an worse of all da magikal and feared cry of ''retreat''. Dey've even got a sayin' bout it: ''"If we runs for it, it don't count as losing, cuz we can also come back for anuvver go, see?"'' Dey'z mocked as cowardly gits by most of da boyz, but cause dey be dead cunning dey'z da main source of da best warbosses in WAAAAAAAGH! time (Next ta Da Prophet him self). An' its '''alwayz''' WAAAAAAAGH! time, ya git! Blud Axez wear cammerflage, but at least they paint it nice an' bright so's you can see'em coming.

Later, when da humies learned dat der was six Beasts, and each lead a lejun o Boyz, dey started tinking dat each o da Clanz were da rem-re-leftovers o each Beast's lejun.</ul>

===Ork Non-Klanz===
<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Den dere's da '''[[Freebooterz|Freebootaz]]''', boyz wut left deir klan ta become merks an' piratz an' dat, Freebooterz iz often kicked o' deir klan for likin' sumtin' dat izn't violence more dan violence, like [[Kaptin Badrukk]] (teef), [[Wazdakka Gutsmek]] (goin' fast), or [[Zodgrod Wortsnagga]] (snotlings), but some leave o' deir own accord for similar reasons, like [[Kaptin Bluddflagg]] (loot). Freebootaz will even work for stupid 'umies for shinies (or hats), though dat don't mean dey won't turn 'round an 'ave a go at dem too.
* '''Feral Orkz''' are like Snakebites, but coz dey don't have a choice, what with not 'avin' access to Ork kulture seein' 'az dey don't have space travel. Often join the Snakebites as soon as dey'z recruited by a WAAAAAAGH.
* '''Speed Freekz''' is what you call da members o' da '''Kult o' Speed''', a klub any Ork what likes goin' fast a lot can join, not just da Evil Sunz.
</ul>

==Ork Daily Life==

[[File:Wh40k online concept.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Your average Ork home. Quite cozy when it comes down to it, really.]]

Morning.
GET UP! Doesn't matter when . But usually in the mid morning, -unless a nob kicks him in the face cause he is late for something, which he usually is. Next eat. Either the breakfast his pet grot brings him or the grot it self. Orks dont much care it all tastes the same dipped in mud and fried on a stick chased with some fungus beer.
Hit the drops. Yes the communal act of using the local bog. Literally. He might get a scar on his duff to show off if the Squigs are feisty that morning. Then swagger about and try to find new things to kill. Or new ways to kill things. This lasts till about noon.

Noon
LUNCH! Fungus rums and beers. Squig pies and mushroom fries. Plenty of fights break out at lunch usually from a loota stealing another Orks 'sweet-squig' dessert. Or some nob mouths off when drunk. Either way LUNCH! Next nap time/ wrekreation. Most Orks, having spent a very busy day trying to think up new ways to kill or new things to kill, will take a nap. Usually the average rank and file lad who has nothing better to do. It is around now that the more specialized Orkoids shall gather in their respective mobs and set about spending afternoon and early evening doing what they do best. Be it practicing blowing crap up if tankbustaz. Racing around the camp as speed freaks. Helping the meks if lootas or burnas. <strike>Hiding in plain sight if kommand-</strike> Move along, nofink to see 'ere.

Evening
WORK TIME! The boss or local big mek or Warp'ead bullies most every one around the camp center and gets up on his WAAAGH!!! Banner-tower and starts to bark out orders on what they will attack that night, or where they will hit to steal material to build his next projekt, or give a flashy psycho-pyrotectic light show during a prophetic chant. (though sometimes if no one got up till half past 5 they plan it during the early morning.) Depending on the Clan majority this can be as simple as "Smash dis!" (A goff) to "Ok Dis team needs ta be 'ere right when da rockets hit Or we wont-" <strike>(Yeah Blood axes dont know when to shut up) </strike> '''*THUMP*''' ZOGGIN' 'Umiez.

Midnight
DA ORKING HOUR! Do what was stated in the evening until they get tired and go home to bed. It don't count as failing cause they will try again tomorrow. Or pull it off and party all night (to the dismay of the defeated) until they pass out.

Even the Daily Life of the Ork is a miniature WAAAGH!!!

==Reasons it Rokks to be an Ork==
# We'z gotz a shiney new 7th ork-dition Codex-fingy!
# We'z da biggest an' da strongest.
# We'z made fer fightin' an' winnin'.
# We'z got more boyz dan anyone else.
# All an ork eva wantz to do fo'eva iz to keep fightin', winnin', an' lootin'.
# Dem mekboyz can loot anyfing an I mean [[Looted_Emperor|ANYFING]]!!
++''{{BLAM| Previous record has been made of note to Ordo Xenos for immediate actions to be taken. The Emperor Protects}}''++

Ummm, wot woz dat? Zog, I've lost count of da resuns for being an Ork!
# We'z already know everythin' wotz wort' learnin'.
# We'z da 2nd least [[grimdark]] race in da galaxy. BUT DA BEZT GREENDARK hur hur hur!
# Da painboyz can fix ya up right'n proppa, even if yer bloody 'ead'z chopped off.
# We'z got da shiniest bitz, or we'z 'bout to krump da git dat does.
# The longa ya fite, the bigga and stronga ya get.
# Teef's legal tenda. Punchin' sum git in da face getz youz a day'z meal.
# If da mekboy can finks it, he can build it.
# An' if he sayz it workz, he's roight.
# We'z da orkz an' dey iz not.
# Dem 'umiez and marine boyz screamin' "FER DA EMPRER", an dem spikey boys yellin' "BLOOD FO' DA BLOOD GOD!" is nofin' kompared to "WAAAAAAAAAGH!"
# Da red wunz will '''alwayz''' go fasta.
# Purple iz da sneekiest colah.
# Yello' iz da 'splodiest colah.
# Blu iz da lukiest colah.
# Green iz da orkiest colah.
# I haz a hole in me chest an' a choppa stuck to me leg? Didn' notice it while I wuz krumpin dem spiky boyz.
# Unlike dem 'umiez, greyskins, an' panzees, anyone can be a warboss usin' nofin' more den a choppa an' a litl bit o' dakka.
# Even if all da boyz get krump'd, we'z still win. Da only way da gits can zog us off is by [[Exterminatus|dakkain' da 'ole bludy planet]].
# You'z can trade in yer dakka fer moah choppa, or vice versah, and you iz still Orky enuff.
# You'z kan build an army of serial [[METAL BOXES|bawkses]] an' duk' tape an' maybe a bit o' spikez an' bitz and still look reel smart an' orky.
# Rolling a double six with Shokk Attack Gun.
# Some Git shootz 90% of Your squad, but the Nob smackz one boy on the 'ead and everybody iz doing good.
# You'z kan talk legally like a retard.
# Giving da boyz a frying pan on the 'ead and a fender on the shoulda makes dem 'arder.
# Putting dem in a fridge makez dem mega'ard.
# You'z kan use every armiez gunz, but none kan use Yourz.
# If you die you get proppa afterlife wiz lotta fighnin' an' booze, instead of being raped by laffin' daemons for eternity.
# Youz don't havta Hate everfink dat's not a Ork.
# You WILL die of laffin' if You play orkz.
# Eiff Edishun iz da horde edishun! We'z can field more boyz dan dem 'humies or bug fingies!
# Lastly, an' most importantly, da mane reezun it rokkz ta be an Ork iz dis:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


==Reasons it sucks to be an Ork==
# You're the one species that is actually dumber than humanity. <strike>{{BLAM|HERESY!}}</strike> *THUMP* LOK BOSS I GOT MEH WUN UH DEM UMIES!!!!
# Your war cry "WAAAGH!" is overused by everyone. LIEK IF "FOR DA EMPRAH!!!" IZN'T OVERUZZED AZ 'ELL
# No matter how hard you try, you will never achieve enough dakka... and if you did, it'd end up destroying you too. A TRAGGADY, DAT IS!
# Despite having some awesome-looking guns, you can't shoot things for shit. Your standard Ballistic Skill is 2 (which means at best hitting things on a 5+), and when you ''do'' shoot somebody successfully it's probably due to sheer volume of bullets more than anything else. YOU SAY DAT LOIKE IT'S A FUKKEN BAD THING! 
# Your sole purpose in stories is to distract the Space Marines and the Imperial Guard from more dangerous threats like Chaos, Tyranids or Necrons. BUT WE'Z GET TA HAVE A REAL GREAT FIGHT WHILEZ BEIN' A DISTRAKSHUN. SO IT'Z STILL ALL GOOD. ALSO HAV YOU EVEN READ DA BEAST ARISES WE ZOG DEM HUMMIES UP. 
# Your army falls apart at the seams the minute your Warboss dies. NAH, WE'S JUST GOT TA FIGURA' OUT WHUZ IN CHARGE NEXT, DAN WE COMES BACK AROUND TA FUMP EM AGAIN! <strike> Hiss! By that time we've NOMNOMNOMNOM'D on you </strike> '''*CRUNCH*''' ANUDDA 'EAD FER ME POINTY STIKK!
# Anytime you use anything, from your smallest pistol to your [[Battlefleet Gothic|largest space ship]], you have the same chances of surviving its use as a grot snuggling an overcharged standard issue Imperial [[Plasma Weapons|Plasma Gun]]. Offset by the fact you can survive 4th degree burns, decapitation, being septic, and acquiring space tetanus. OY, DOK. WUTZ DIS TETANATHINGY? CAN WE'Z SQUISH ET?
# In Second Ed there was an alarming risk that your entire army might die before the battle actually started because almost no Ork units had sealed armour. ORKZ DUN' NEED ARMER! NOT WEN ORKZ GOT DAKKA!! SMASH DEM GITS WITOUT'IT!
# You have a mushroom and two spore pods dangling between your legs, and Kroot find it a delicacy. <strike> GOOD MEAT BAKKAWW! </strike> *THUMP* I DUNNO WUT DIS DUN SAID BUT IT URT ME EYES SO I KRUMPED IT!!!!
# You're part of [[Squad broken]]. WELL, UH... ZOGGIT. WE GOT NUFFIN CLEVA TA SAY BOUT DAT. MAYBE SUMFING ABOUT IT BEING MADE BY DEM NECKBEARDED GROTZ WIV DA FEDORAZ AN STUFF
# <strike>You haven't had a new codex since 4th edition. And it's starting to show.</strike> SHUT IT YA GIT, WE'ZE DA ORKS AND YOU'Z A BUNCH O PANSY GITS! B'SIDES, WE IZ GOING TA GET NEW CODEX DIS 6TH ED! OI BOSS WEZ GOT A SEVENF EDISHUN CODEX BEFORE THE PANSY GITS DID! N NOW WE'Z GOTZ A SHINEY NEW 7 ORK-DITION CODEX-FINGY! ZOGGIN' GORK! DIS EYFF EDISHUN KODEX IS DED KILLY! 
# <strike>There is a slight chance that [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is going to write 6th edition codex. If so, in the next codex you'll read something like this: "The Orks insatiable thirst for violence is, really, just a way of coping with the angst they feel that no matter what they do, they will never be Ultramarines."</strike> WHO KEEPS LETTIN' DEZ' HUMIES IN 'ERE! WE'Z BLOODY INFESTED! GET DA BURNAZ! <strike>(Also [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is apparently too busy with pestering Forge world for more Space marine resin collections to be converted into plastic for the main product line to be bothered with our humble bumbling green skins.)</strike> Tipakill 'umie bee'ayevyohr dat iz. Alwayz ignorin' da orky fingz in loif an' only payin' attentchuhn to zoggin' 'umie fingz. Downroight shaymfol dat iz. Da onlee REEL orky 'umie dere iz iz dat Kaptuhn Yarik; Gork - or eh, iz it Mork? - bless 'iz 'eart. (Trust us greenskin, Matt Ward ignoring you is a good thing.) But waznt 'e fired fur being an annoying grot? I GOT DA BURNAZ!! WE HAVIN A BBQ?? MAKE MINE CRISPY AN DUN FORGET DA EXTRA SQUIG SAUCE
# Orks do not draw psychic power from the [[Warp]], [[Derp|but still take Perils of the Warp]]. DEM WEIRDBOY GITZ JUST ORK'D TOO 'ARD!
# <strike>if dere ain't any Stormboyz, yer army k'n get krumped by da Blu Gitz real easy like. No not [[Ultramarines|DEM]] blue gits The [[Tau|udda ones]] wif da nice dakka and puny stompas.</strike>'''*CRUNCH*''' OI! WHO LET DA GROT DO DA TALKIN?! WE JUS' SMASH DEM BLUEBOYZ WIT 'ARE CHOPPAS WHEN WE GET CLOSE, AN' IF DAT DON'T WORK WE JUST MATCH DERE AMOUNT OF DAKKA WIT SOME PRETTY KILLY SHOOTAS. UNLESS DEY SEND DA RED COMMIT THO... GOOD FING DEY GOT RID OF HIM!
# Even doh dere is [[Yarrick|wun humie]] dat foights good and ard and iz real ded killy, ee iz da greatest enemy ov da Orkz. *THUNK* DA GREATEST ENNEMY OF DA ORKS IZ DA RED COMMIT! DAT BLUE BOY'S STOMPA IS FREE TIMES FASTA DAN A REGULAR WUN!
# <strike>You probably dont have a penis. You can piss on Space Marines, only to die a short while later.</strike> IZ DAT BAD FING? OOMIEZ SAYZ DAT IT VERY HURTZ WHEN WE 'IT EM IN IT? Wait... Dat what dey call the mushroom'n'spore pods? Poor suckas! Dey have PAIN nerves down dat way? No WONDER dey scream so bad when we kick em there. 
#<strike>Even (some) vegetarians will eat you</strike> NOT IF WE EAT DEM FIRST! HAH! 
# You all piss yourselves at the very mention of the name of a certain [[Farsight|Red Armored Swordsman]]. WE'Z JUST BE SO EXCITED CAUSE DAT BLUE-BOY ACTUALLY PUTS UP A FIGHT! More so than the Orks did against an old Ethereal with a pointed stick! *KRUMP* SHUT IT YA GREAT LANKY BLUE GROT 

== See Also ==
* [[Grot]]
* [[Snotling]]
* [[The Beast]]
* [[The War of The Beast]]
* [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]]
* [[Gorgutz_%27Ead_%27Unter|Warboss Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter]]
* [[Deffboss]]
* [[WAAAGH]]
* [["Da Tragedy of Hamlet, boss of Denmark" by Shake-da-boss-pole]]
* [[Makbeff]]
* [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Orks(7E)|Tactics/Orks]]
* [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Orks/Dred_List|Dreadnought List]]
* [[Codex Orks: Space Odin Edition]]
* [[Ork Gunz]]
* [[Gargant]]
* [[Stompa]]
* [[Deff Skwadron]]
* [[Scraplootas]]
* [[Da Chopshop]]
* [[Ork Trek]]
* [[Ironjawz]] for one of their Age of Sigmar counterparts.
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whxcq4I0kAo Da Ork Song]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXCLtD5batc Dem Ork Boyz Song]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Ork flowchart.png|WAAAAGH flowchart
Image:WAAAAGH.jpg|WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Image:Ork_WTF_is_this.jpg|WOT'Z DAT
Image:Orks_are_made_4_rokkin.jpg|ORKZ IZ DA ROKKINEST
Image:WOT_DA_ZOG.jpg|DA PAINBOSS IZ GONNA WANT TA LOOK AT DIS WOTEVA IT IS
Image:Disguise_1.jpg|Orks are the best at disguises
Image:Disguise_2.jpg|Stoopid [[beakie|beakies]]
Image:Disguise_3.jpg|Weeabork
Image:Orktaku.jpg|A different sort of Weeabork
Image:Samurork4.jpg|The truest of Weeaborks
Image:Da_warboss_Lincoln.jpg|The assassination of warboss Lincoln.
Image:GorknMork.jpg|Gork and Mork
Image:Ork_Fortress.jpg|WE'Z AMUZED BY ENTIRE PUNY 'UMIE IMPERIUM
Image:Pimp_Ork_1.jpg|PompadOrk
Image:Pimp_Ork_2.jpg|EY YOU GITZ WE 'EARD YOU LIKE TA MAKE IT ORKY SO WE ORKYFIED YER ORKY SQUIGOFF SO YOU'Z CAN WAAAGH WHILE YOO'Z WAAAGHIN'
Image:Killskata.jpg|Jet Grind RadiOrk
Image:Gorkken_Morkann_by_Jaekyu.jpg|'OO DA 'ELL DO YA FINK WE IS?!!!
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz_2.jpg|IT'Z TIME FER SUM IKSPERIMINTS
Image:Ork_teaparty.jpg|No reason we can't be civil
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz.jpg|SIANTZ. It works.
Image:Oldboyz.jpg|Oldboyz can Waaagh! too. They just need a nap afterwords.
Image:Orkpoke.jpg|SlowpOrk
Image:Ork_Anatomy.jpg|Inaccurate (but in-universe) depiction of orky gubbinz.
Image:Orkspekta_gubbinz.jpg|Orkspekta Gubbinz iz on da case!
Image:Orkishbeprepared.jpg|<strike>Jeremy Irons is orky, right?</strike> COURZE 'E IZ! E'Z ZO ORKY YOU'Z CAN'T LISTEN TA DA ORIGINAL SONG WIWOUT 'EARING DIS!
Image:Green.jpg|Supagreen
Image:1229746903774.jpg|[[Deff Skwadron]]. Zoggin' bootiful.
Image:Proud'n'Bootiful.jpg
Image:1239594444871.jpg|Transform and WAAAGH! (Holyshit this thing actually transforms.)
Image:1258887158852.jpg| Essentially....this is the best thing ever.
Image:mythbusta.jpg
Image:Ork_love_potion.jpg|Love Can WAAAGH!
Image:Ork with Lego shootah.jpg
Image:Squig_drops.jpg
Image:Eldars_are_orky.jpg|[[Eldar]]z iz da most orky race evar, ya gitz!
Image:Ork Powuz.png|An alternate explanation of how a WAAAGH works.
File:Mork and gork orks warhammer 40k 1334752549083.jpg|Brutally cunning or cunningly brutal?
File:CoDorks.jpg|Only Orks are capable of making something utterly godawful into something completely Orky.
File:SmurfOrks.jpg|Orks, mastaz uf stelff'en
File:Bork_Kube.jpg|A viable Ork space ship design
</gallery></center>

{{Template:Orks-Forces}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}

[[category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Orks]]
[[Category: Xenos]]

Ork

2017-10-22T07:57:12Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Overview */

{{awesome}}
'''''"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"''''' 
:-Da Orks, all da zoggin' time.
[[File:Orks attack3.jpg|600px|thumb|right|'Ere we zoggin' go, let's break sum' 'eads!]]
{{Topquote|War means fighting, and fighting means killing.|Nathan Bedford Forrest}}
{{Topquote|War is the business of barbarians.|Napoleon Bonaparte}}

The '''Orks''' are a race in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Commonly known as "Greenskins" or "the Green Tide", they're probably the most numerous and infestive race in the entire 40K setting, or at least on par with the [[Tyranids]]. They have a ''[[Warhammer Fantasy]]'' equivalent, the only major differences being that fantasy Orks are now called Orruks, and they have a (slightly) lower level of technology relative to the setting.

==Overview==
[[File:Ork_Boy.jpg|200px|thumb|left|[[Ork_Boy|The original Boy]]. This guy has been around since 2nd ed.]]
Orks are the most successful race of the [[Warhammer 40,000 | 41st millennium]]. Despite their entire lack of structured education or training, they seem to be very proficient with all kinds of technology, which they inevitably utilize for their armaments (of which firearms and vehicles are the most common). This is explained away in the fluff by their origins: they were created by the [[Old Ones#Warhammer 40,000|Old Ones]] to be a warrior race called the ''Krork,'' and some of them (the Mekboyz) were genetically hard-wired to have a pre-programmed proficiency for technological engineering. Unfortunately, the Old Ones died before they could finish their little science project; specifically the psychic control mechanism. The ancient Krork were known to have fought the ancient Eldar empire when the latter was at the peak of its power and were implied to have been a considerable threat (a Harlequin in M32 compares the nearly invincible hordes of the Beast as being like children compared to them).
This means that such war machines simply fight everything, everywhere, all the time. In principle, Orks can loot just about anything: the minor greenskins, such as "Grotz" ([[goblin]]s) can construct several working vehicles and machines out of mere scrap (They actually can't but orks believe they can so it happens see: a few paragraphs below).

The Orks derive much of their success from their reproductive process: Orks are, essentially, a psychosensitive hybrid of animal and fungi, not unlike a very complex version of a lichen. One advantage is a redundancy of vital organs, making them able to easily survive events such as head transplants and the fact that it's not easy to kill an individual Ork since they could very well shrug off injuries that would put a human to a crippled state. In fact there is a [[Valhalla|Valhallan]] folktale about a relative finding an Ork, [[Carnifex#Old_One_Eye|thawing it out only for it to attempt to kill them]]. Another advantage is their ability to grow larger as they win more battles (due to the aforementioned psychosensitivity): an Ork who is winning a fight is enjoying himself, which causes fluctuations in the gestalt field that all Orks generate. These fluctuations supercharge the Ork's physiology, causing the Ork to gain muscle mass and evolve. Consequently, if an Ork should somehow be incapable of fighting (like being imprisoned); they will actually ''devolve'' instead, causing the Ork to become pudgy and lethargic. This was observed during [[Xenology]] where a captive Ork was eventually found morbidly obese when the Inquisitor brought him out for dissection. Hence,the saying: "Orkz iz made fer fighten' and winnin'" applies literally in their case, as the incentives of fighten' and winnin' are what makes or breaks an Ork.

In addition, the fungal part of their physiology allows Orks to reproduce asexually en masse through underground fungal colonies that act as self-sustaining ecosystems. Reproductive spores enter the topsoil, produce fungal mycelia that assimilate base nutrients and could exchange genetic information with other mycelia, putting normal Human sexual reproduction to shame, and eventually produce lesser Orkoids: squigs and Grotz. The Grotz cultivate the protein-rich squigs in preparation for the emergence of the greater Orks, which take longer to develop. All in all, this cycle was designed to fight against the Necrons, which sterilized a planet to its bacteria. Orks can terraform a barren planet into a veritable paradise this way, though what defines "paradise" is a point of discussion; if you like endless wars and tribal conflicts in a mushroom rich planet, it probably is. IS YOU SAYIN' DERE'S FINGS WHAT DON'T LIKE FIGHTIN' FEREVER? DEM UMIES IS REEL GOOD AT MAKIN' FORTS FER US TA KRUMP, SO DEY MUST LIKE FIGHTIN'...

Though all Orks discharge reproductive spores throughout their lives, the most significant and numerous emissions occur when an Ork ''is dismembered or dies.'' This means that, for Orks, combat and death are their principal means of reproduction and genetic exchange, and a Space Marine/Guardsman chainsawing/shooting/artillery-bombarding an ork just results in ten thousands, if not millions, of Orks coming for ya, kinda like [[tyranids]]. Nice Job chainsawing it, Space Marine. Due to this, an Ork infestation is incredibly hard to handle if kept unchecked since it won't take them long to get enough boyz to launch a full-scale WAAAGH! to overrun an entire planet and necessitate [[Exterminatus]]. We can use flamethrowers, [[Plasma]], nukes, [[melta]] weapons or anything high-energy to eradicate any spores and fungi, saving the world from the eventual Exterminatus, but then again, efficiency ain't manly n' [[grimdark]] enough compared to good ol' spore-releasing bolters, chainswords and artillery.

Orks only have two popular combat doctrines: [[Choppa|choppy]], which involves giving your opponents a good stomping up close, and [[dakka|shooty]] which involves spitting out as many bullets as possible with an assortment of shootas, and the faster it shoots; the better. That said, a good shoota should also still be able to kill enemies ''while'' putting out a lot of dakka, otherwise it wouldn't be killy (and woe betide an Ork who isn't killy). Because of the Ork's naturally low penchant for accuracy; they typically get around this problem in two methods: the first one is to have a gun that simply shoots bullets as fast as Orkily possible that the wielder ''should'' be able to hit something eventually (strapping two or more shootas together is a crude but effective way to go about this). The second one is to make the gun really killy every time it shoots, like putting a dangerously high-explosive shell in a kannon that can obliterate an entire building in one shot.

Orks are commonly believed to be stupid and superstitious by the other races of the 40k world, but they can also be cunning and quick on the draw. Orks are always ready for a fight and while you can trick them, they quite like the idea of tricking people back.

Their philosophy of DA RED WUNZ GO FASTA is the ultimate truth: because of the aforementioned gestalt field, Ork vehicles painted red will, ultimately, go faster than Ork vehicles that are ''not'' painted red because the Orks believe that Red makes everything go faster:
DIS 'UMIE GIT THINKZ DAT DA RED WUNZ DON'T GO FASTA? DEY DON'T KNOW DAT ANYFING PAINTED RED MAKES IT DA BEST AN' MAKES IT GO FASTAAAA COZ RED IZ BEST! '''*WHAM!*''' NO IT AIN'T, YA BLEEDIN' SQUIG, '''GREEN''' IZ BEST! '''*Boots up the bog*''' SHUT YER GOB, 'E WAS TALKIN' 'BOUT DA TRUKKS, YA GIT!

We can assume that this cuts both ways, with enemies such as the Blood Angels and White Scars gaining the same boost due to their use of red paint.

A hallmark of Orkoid, for lack of a better term, civilization is the WAAAGH!. Pronounced similar to "war" as the "GH" is silent. Always written in all-caps, with at least three "A"s and an exclamation point, the WAAAGH! occurs when an Ork population reaches critical mass and a dominant Warboss appears. A Warboss is an Ork Alpha who is bigger than all the other Orks and have proven his right to lead by either his sheer size or krumpin' all the other big Orks that thinks otherwise. Lesser Orks sense the presence of the Boss in the Orks' psychic field and follow him on what is often described as a combination of pub riot and holy war with a dash of genocide. The WAAAGH! accomplishes two things: it weeds out weaker Orks, keeping the species strong; and it facilitates genetic exchange and reproduction as the Orks die and release spores.

The Ork economy is based on teef, more information on which [[toof|can be found here]].

Ork religious beliefs also help manage their population. Orks believe in two gods, [[Gork]] and [[Mork]]. One is the god of cunning brutality and the other is the god of brutal cunning, the difference being that one hits you when you aren't looking and the other hits you harder when you are. Unfortunately, no one can decide which god is which, nor can the Orks decide which is better: cunning brutality or brutal cunning. These differences of opinion tend to lead to Gigantic Brawls, yet another method of keeping the Ork race strong, warlike and in check. Their division also keeps them perpetually divided, for it has been theorized that if the Orks were to ever unite in one big WAAAGH!, their gestalt reality-warping field might just as well turn omnipotent and crush all opposition

Ork society is effectively the perfect society. Its society is a Kratocracy (A Government ruled by the strongest, fitting for Orks) in maturity as all disputes are settled fairly quickly and painfully (just the way they like it). The economy is steady, as teef grow and rot at a reliable rate. Once a Boss is in charge, mostly everyone falls into place, and the Orks go and [[/tg/ Gets Shit Done|get shit done]].

Also, they probably killed the Imperial Fists. All of them.

Fun fact: The orks use black and white on their shock troops, because it reminds them of the Luna Wolves who destroyed them at Ullanor. The orks do not fear death, but they do fear the Luna Wolves. That is right, Horus traumatized them as a race more than the fucking grim reaper. Note: Why would you fear death, if death usually results in you being reborn into several thousands of yourself? Horus probably swept the spores up post battle and that's why they fear him. Though it's also worth mentioning that Orks harbor a natural fear of Commander Farsight too, whom they know as "Da Red Commit". Though given that the Dawn Blade consumes the souls of those it kills, it's likely that any Orks cut down by Farsight do not reproduce. But then again he was committing Ork genocide long before he found the blade so...

==Ork Teknology==

[[File:Dat zoggin bigmek by majesticchicken.jpg|220px|thumb|left|A perfect example of Ork tech. Powered by make-believe and the essence of love, and patched together with duct tape and chewing gum, the emperor himself has truly never seen finer craftsmanship or innovation.]]

Ork technology works mainly because the Orks think it does. The official explanation is that the subconscious gestalt psychic field that all Orks generate enables their technology to function; the stronger the field, the more unlikely their technological achievements become. In older versions of the fluff, if you hand an Ork a pipe and convince him it's a gun, it WILL shoot bullets. They're like reality-warping Physical "Gods", only weakened by their stupidity and their preference to fight each other instead of uniting, hence why the Imperium still manages to survive in these dark times. In later versions, this has been toned down from "impossible" to merely "unlikely" because GW won't keep anything canon that's that [[derp|badass]]. If Ork technology is held together by spit, duct tape, and hope, then the Orks' psychic field provides the hope.

For example: a Wartrukk with a mob of Orks in it sputters and dies. Da boyz hop out and have a look.
One of da boyz examines the readouts and says to the Nob driver, "Da bloody fing is outta gas!"
Said Nob hits the offending Ork in the face so hard that he falls unconscious. "Look 'ere, I'z da boss, and I sez I filled this fing up righ' before we left!"
The rest of da boyz look at each other, halfway convinced. He ''is'' the biggest Ork among them, and he ''did'' just prove it. Maybe he ''did'' fill it up right before they left. That's the sort of thing one does when one's in charge. Da boyz begin to file back into the Wartrukk, and with a satisfied nod, the Nob gets in and cranks her up. Because da boyz believe that there is plenty of fuel in the truck, one drop does for ten, and the Wartrukk and da boyz arrive just in time for the next fight.

The purpose for this sort of thing is primarily to compensate for the Orks' technological disadvantage by comparison with races like the [[Tau]], [[Necron]]s, or the [[Eldar]]. For example, a meat cleaver in the hands of an Ork can tear through the toughest ceramite armor if the Ork believes it will; for anyone BUT an Ork, a power weapon or the equivalent would be required to do so. This tends to work well for them, but not for the other races of the galaxy: Imperial observers note that Ork weapons generally will not function in the hands of a non-Ork. The only reason the Orks haven't exploited the limits of their generated gestalt field by creating easily made but devastatingly powerful weaponry that could eclipse the weapons of the other races is that they themselves do not know nor understand that they create said field, they believe that their equipment works because that's how the universe wants it to work, not because they themselves are making it work. Which I guess makes it true. This, in turn, makes for an interesting paradox: If orks managed to understand the physical universe as it is, they would not believe their "weapons" work, thus, stripping them of their psychic advantage. If there is a little ounce of disbelief, this would wreck their ability to... believe hard enough so as to manipulate reality.

This said, Orky know-wots DO have a say in stuff that the Orks build. Mekboyz build much of the stuff they do because they have been genetically ingrained with the knowledge on how to make and maintain their technology. While much of their tech runs because they want to, the basis is that the Orks ''can'' actually build a conceptually working frame to get all Orky on. This explains how Orks can build such technological wonders as the Shokk Attack Gun, which propels [[Snotling|Snotlings]] through the Warp and into the armor, tanks, [[Rape|and bodies]] of their enemies. Also, there ''have'' been instances of Ork tech working well in the hands of other races,( at least for a time till it blows up). Be careful though, most Ork players have ''very'' deep-set opinions on how Orky tech works, and [[skub|debates]] between them can generate much [[RAGE]].

Occasionally, if a "tech-caste" gets into control of an Ork society, ridiculous constructions can result. Best example we know about is the Telon Reach Empire and its central stronghold Gorro. A "scrapworld", Gorro was full of things that shouldn't have worked at all (Horus notes that individual bits of architecture inside were just too mad for any human to contemplate) and could withstand the normally planet-killing weapons on the Vengeful Spirit and Emperor's own flagship. The Orks defending it were far more advanced than most (everything from their augmententations to the accuracy of their ships' weapons) and had actually built a plasma reactor to hold their world together. Their function mostly relied on the Orks' gestalt, as the core began to fail as the Emperor, Horus and their respective posses carved through the population. Once the Emperor killed the resident Warboss and psychically burned the rest of the Orks (a preview of what he'd eventually do to Horus) the system went into total meltdown.

===Special Note on Orky Vehicles===
To properly describe what Ork vehicles are like is a difficult prospect, or perhaps an overlooked opportunity. Either way, few actually attempt to clarify in tangible terms what orkish vehicle-makers create.

Let's start with the venerable Trukk. Keep in mind that the standard Ork Boy is a hunched, monstrous, 7-foot-tall Hulk Hogan. Now, the Trukk is essentially an over-sized, skeletal pickup truck, with armored bus tires and a spiked ram-plate for a bumper. The frame is then covered in all manner of inch-thick armor plating, the basic standard in orkish vehicle armor. No Ork vehicle with more than two wheels has an engine smaller than a V8, and the trukk is no exception. A common brag for a trukk owner, "I'z put twelve silenderz in dis 'ere kart" (when not met with the classic "You shoulda sprung fer forteen!" comeback), is similar to a human saying he put an extra two cylinders in his car and overhauled his transmission.

Larger orkish vehicles, like the Big Trakk, often use V14 engines that any human would say belongs on a fishing trawler. Alternatively, some vehicles use turbine engines for extra torque (which is always a good thing) and a higher top speed (also a good thing), or crackling electrical engines (less popular than a good-old combustion engine, but can "accidentally" taze pesky Lootas or enemies who get too close (i.e. rammed)). Big Trakks are literally the size of a heavy tank, but are completely open-topped to provide a chassis for hauling Boyz or insanely big gunz into the fight. They have banks of fat-tired wheels or, most likely, four-plus-foot-wide treads. They have as much torque as a Battle Wagon and fear no infantry.

==Orks and the Emperor==

One theory of the [[Emperor|Emprahs]] continued existence (despite the fact his throne is in serious need of an MOT) is the fact that the Orks BELIEVE it to be so. As any self-respecting Weirdboy will tell you, what da boyz fink will 'appen (see below), so if they think the Emperor is still alive then alive he will be. Probably cos they're not stupid enough to realise he's a corpse more fucked than a Slaaneshi cultist at Ciaphas Cain's place.. 'ANG ON A SECOND.. I FINK DEY BE MAKIN FUN OF US...WELL.....MAYBE WE OUTTA GO STOMP SUM HUMIES! (thas rite, the "chaos boys" are messing with you orks, go stomp them in the name of the Emp... For the WAAAGGGHH!. aehm..)

==Special Groups of Orks==
Apart from the regular Boyz, there are several groups of Orks who specialize in a specific task or doctrine. Called Oddboys (if they are relatively normal when fighting time rolls around) or Wyrdboys (when they shoot lighting out of their eyes, gunz or eye-gunz). The most common ones are:

===[[Oddboys|Oddboyz]]===
This category is filled with Orks who express genetic predispositions to certain tasks. Here are your Mekboys (engineers), Painboys (doctors), Weirdboys (psykers), Madboyz (psychos), Slaverz (take care of grots, snotlings and slaves), [[Dorfs|Brewerz]] (makers of alcohol; retconned), [[Noise Marines|Rockaz]] (musicians; also retconned), and Shoutaz (communications experts).

====Kult of Speed====

[[File:Kult o speed by majesticchicken.jpg|250px|thumb|right|'''WAAAAAAAAGHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''']]

[[Speed freeks]] who commonly go into the battlefield on bikes hyped up on dakka and flashy bitz, as their name suggests, they'z like goin' faster dan fast. On tabletop, they're okay, since they're really shooty for Orks and fairly cheap. These guys field the classic Mobile Ork Army, which causes loads of [[Butthurt]] and [[Rage]] when people go up against them. Just look out for Lascannons.
*'''[[Deff Skwadron | Flyboys]]''' - Crazed pilots that like fast vehicles, death defying stunts, and lots of dakka. The better pilots, fighta aces, are held in great esteem only by other flyboys and tend to give themselves crazy-cool nicknames.

====[[Burna Boyz | Burna boyz]]====
Burna boyz are similar to standard orks in ability, possessing no unique qualities except every one of them being a pyromaniac. These boys are the type who would burn their own mother alive if she tried to stop them from playing with matches, even though Orks technically don't have moms. As such, they regularly burn their own comrades for the hell of it (to see them 'do da burny dance'). Their obsession with fire is of course, genetically coded, and this has a particular disadvantage during periods of time where stealth is of the essence. In fact, this pyromania coupled with the rate of accidental deaths among Orks may explain why Burna boyz aren't more common; after all, an Ork that accidentally burns himself to death wouldn't be able to spread his spores so easily. On a more lighthearted note, they are also quite fond of fungus cigars! GREEN IZ BEST

====[[Mekboy|Mekboys]]====
Meks are Orks who are capable of making the ramshackle yet effective weapons and vehicles the Orks use. They're primarily the ones who makes the warband's wagons, restore salvaged vehicles, and create/modify weapons. An Ork who lead bands of Mekboys is called a "Big Mek", and is a bitch to kill on tabletop if he's kitted out. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZQdaEFa_60 Five-up cover saves for everyone!] 'Ho says we aint smart 'n' such! Only fing betta den an ork is an ork wif a good bit of technorkology 

====[[Tankbustas]]====
Many Orks enjoy the odd explosion. These guys like that so much that they decided what better way to get their kicks than to get into a nice squad of 5-15 boys and try blowing tanks sky high with their rokkits. They also train Squigs to run into tanks while strapped to the hilt with explosives. And if neither of that works, run into close-combat and strike the tank with a rokkit attached to a metal stick. They get so high off this that they will enter the broken vehicle, eat any survivors, and drink the motor oil in a ritual act known as "GETTIN' TANKED!" 

====[[Lootas]]====
Lootas are Orks who are obsessed with pimping out their shootas by salvaging bitz from their enemies. Lootas are critically important to Orkish mechanical industry, because they head salvage operations and assist Meks where Grots can't. They're also the ones who loot wrecked tanks and vehicles after a battle to use as Looted Wagons, with the help of Mekboys, which means Orks can remobilize rapidly, and scale up to match tank-driving foes. <strike>When not fighting or looting, Lootaboyz are a menace to Orky society, stealing, swindling, making trouble, and being the reason other Boyz can't have nice things.</strike> WOT?! YIZ SAYIN' DERE'S TIME WHEN DA ORKZ AIN'T FOIGHTIN' OR LOOTIN'?! I OUTTA GIVE YA A STAMP!!!

====[[Flash Gitz]]====
<strike> DA PIMPIEST ORK IZ DA BESTEST ORK!!!!!!</strike> Dat is why dey arrogant Gits. They are another group of shoota-obsessed Orks known as "Flash Gitz"; rich, obnoxious Bad Moonz gits who buy powerful weapons and upgrades using their large stockpiles of [[toof|teef]]. They love nothing more than showing off their wealth and (supposedly associated) martial power. They do things like wearing ''FABOLOUS'' clothing, sporting huge banners declaring their awesomeness (shogun-style), and plating everything they have in gold, silver, platinum, or any other shiny metal they have at hand (although gold is preferred). Goldz iz da bestest. Flash Gitz boast the shootiest kustom shootaz in all of orkdom, sometimes known as "snazzgunz", which makes them an invaluable asset to their clan. Conversely, due to their boasting and attitude problems they often alienate pretty much every other Ork they work with, and are prone to getting their arrogant asses booted out of their group the moment they become less useful than annoying.

====[[Freebooterz]]====
Orks who raid and pillage the galaxy as MOTHERFUCKING PIRATES. And just to add to their awesomeness, they'll usually dress and/or speak like pirates. (W)AAARG! Well-known individuals include Kaptins Badrukk and Bludflagg.

====[[Ork Kommando|Kommandos]]====
Orks who managed to figure out that charging a gunline isn't always the best option, so dey'z da sneakiest of da Orks. They typically paint themselves purple, which Orks believe is the sneakiest color (and because Orks are Orks, purple does in fact make them harder to see ... don't ask how the fuck that one works, it just does Hav you eva seen a purpul ork? Course not, dey's too sneaky . Kommandos rely on stealth tactics rather than balls-out firepower, and achieve this by using crude camouflage techniques, Speshul Forces equipment such as NVGs, various types of grenades, and all those other gubbins that makes them all sneaky. The concept of Orks using tactics beyond drowning their enemies in corpses and bullets is so completely out there that a lot of Imperial commanders [[Skaven|do not believe that Kommandos actually exist]], but nobody laughed when a Kommando unit suddenly [[Blood Ravens|hi-jacked]] a unit of 3 [[Deathstrike Missile Launcher]]s inside a Mordian regiment's lines drove 1 to the front and proceeded to launch it at the their front lines, killing thousands, including a [[Baneblade]] (Except for the Orks, who laughed their faces off as this was happening). Meanwhile, the Kommandos ran off with the remaining one and 2 extra missiles.

Kommandos are typically distrusted by Orks due to their chosen battle strategy. They view as sneaking about rather than getting to a fight, right and proppa as "Muckin' about". The enjoyment of the color purple among them is also considered right strange. As there aint no such thing as a purple ork!

In practice, all of this boils down to a fairly simple difference in tactics. Whereas a normal Ork Boy will see the enemy and immediately [[WAAAGH|shout]], run up to him, and smash him in the head, a Kommando will see the enemy, hide behind a nearby [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|bush]]/[[Dorf|barrel]]/[[Creed|lamp-post]] and wait for the enemy to get close like 5 feet to 2 meters, THEN shout, run up to him, and smash him in the head.

An ork asked about Kommando groups. "I dinna see anyfing... Do you?"

====Feral Orks====
Hidden away in GW fluff are these guys. These guys are what happens after a WAAAGH! has left your planet. They crop up in wildernesses and form tribes. They don't have technology (like shootas) or any kind of mekboys or even good resources to build junk. They are roughly on par with your [[Warhammer Fantasy|Fantasy]] Orks, so you can just use your Fantasy army in 40k if you can fluff your army right. Not like it matters, it's the same tactic either game. They tend to have Grots, Kommandos and Weirdboys coming out of their ears, and love to ride big squigs. If you don't prune them back to the forest well enough, they might sic buttloads of squiggoths on you. Snakebites love these guys, and if space-born Orks pick them up, Feral Orks usually become Snakebites anyway.

They breed a special kind of Oddboy, the Pigdok, who is a combination of a Mek and a Dok, but excels at neither. They do surgical procedures like a stereotypical medicine man, wander around covered in robes and talismans given to them by the Weirdboy Shamans, and head the construction of things like ballistas and catapults, all the way up to magical stompy Idols and the [[Titans_40k#Orky_Titans|Steam Gargant]].

====[[Weirdboy | Weirdboyz]]====
Weirdboyz are Orks who are active psykers. All Orks are passive psykers, emitting their gestalt field, but Weirdboyz are the only ones who can decide they're gonna blow another Ork's face off with a mean look and a lightning bolt (well, the only Orks who can decide to do it and it'll happen). They tend to be crazy and can blow up if they're not careful. Even when they are careful. Sometimes blowing up is the preferred/expected option for a Weirdboy.

==Retcons==
All following Ork Oddboys have been retconned, at least by GW's word. They live on in our hearts (and custom-models) as:

===Rokkas===
[[Rogue Trader]] Orks with a penchant for hard rock, metal, leather armor, and overgrown hair squigs. While still technically retconned, they do seem to keep cropping up in the fluff. Also known as Goff Rokkas, these boyz tend to come out of the Goffs exclusively, but it isn't completely unknown for other Clans to spit out one of these crazy green "musicians". They play machine gun guitars and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_wdRy7x4Sc PARTY 'ARD!!!]
It should be noted that Rokkas were invented in the Eighties, so they don't play things like Death Metal as much as they do generic Metal, 80's Metal, electric guitar ballads, and Hard Rock. It should also be noted that they are still available on Games Workshop's site. PARTY ON!
===Shoutas===
These orks have over-developed lungs and super-strong vocal cords so that they can [[Derp|yell really loud.]] Yes, you heard me right. They yell across Gargant-tops and over battlefield din to act as a telecommunications array. <strike>See, not all things that were retconned were too good to last.</strike> '''SHUDDUP STOOPID HUMIE, WHUT DO YOU KNOW?!?!?! SHOUTAS IZ DA BEST!!!!!!!'''

'''YOU'Z CALL DAT SHOUTIN'? YOU'Z AIN'T A REEL SHOUTA, YA GIT!'''


'''A REAL SHOUTA'''

'''DROWNS OUT DA'''

'''COMPUTISHUN!'''

'''I Konkur!'''


'''I'z prefur sneekin' up to some hummie and shoutin' in iz ear from reel gut close.'''


Anyone caught messing with this section again will get their shit handed to them. Do you know how fucking hard it is to make sure this shit is right? I can't do this AND dodge those fucking Orks. I'm a janitor, not a FUCKING NINJA!

'''See, iffin' you'z had sum of dat purpley paint, dis wouldn' be a problem now, would it?'''

''' 'e got youz good, e' did. aneewayz da squigs ated da inturn again. Git ta cleenen dat wod ya.'''

===Brewerz===
Again, not technically retconned, but never mentioned after about 3rd Edition. Brewerz, or Brewer Boyz function much like Mekboys or Mad Doks do, knowing the inns and outs of brewing through genetically inherited inntuition. They make alcohol out of squigs. Made everything from beers to malts to meads to liquors to scotches. Yes, certain squigs can be made into scotch. No, no grains are involved in the process. No, they've never don this in Scotland. No, you may not question this.
SQUIGGIE WALKER - RED LABEL! COS IT ZOGZ YOU IN DA BRAIN FASTA!
''Eend out of mashrooms too booss!'' 
Basically, they brew babies into beer sometimes. 
 
<strike>'''HERESY, ORK HERESY, ANY IMPERIAL CITIZENS WILL BE MURDERED ON SIGHT AFTER READING THIS.'''</strike>''' *WHAM* OY BOSS, DEM HUMIES IZ TRYN'A TAKE AWAYZ OUR SQUIG JUICE!
'''

''' Zoggin DAMN'IT! NOT AGAIN!'''

===Female Orks===

MY EYES!!!! THEY BURN!!!

Vaguely referenced in older fluff and glimpsed during Blood Bowl, sacrificed because nobody wants to see those canonized saggy Ork tits (Except [[/d/]]), and fucking whores (and ye mum). Suffice to say, some drawfags will still draw them and several on [[/tg/]] will doubtlessly [[Faptau|fap]] to it. Considering how many random mutations are seen amongst the Orks, the possibility is [[Meme|more likely than you'd think]]. In normal canon, Orks are asexual, popping out of fungal growths in the ground...

...but in the older fluff, when the Orks were basically Fantasy Orcs in space, there ''were'' female orks. Later fluff [[retcon]]ned this, so that in later parts of their life cycle Orks would temporarily develop sexual characteristics and go bang one another. For the sake of Games Workshop's writers' self-respect, this too was also retconned. And all but the drawfags are happy for that. All in all though, the idea of female orks or goblinoids of any sort is much more readily accepted across most genres involving greenskins of any sort, so the decision may more likely have been to make the Orks dependent on getting blown up to repopulate along with being hardlined for blockbuster style war (though, as with all evolution, this is mutable to change, as there are Orks like the Blood Axes who understand ideas like trading with da' humies', peace, and using functional armor and weapons that don't stop working just because da' mob' believes dey are useless. SEE, HUMIES ARE GUD' F'R SOME FINGS BUT NOT EVERY FING!).

 Oi'm twalf an' wots dis? 

===Brain Boyz===
Brain Boyz is how the Orks call the Old Ones. The retcon is that the Orks' origin has shifted around a few times, such as the Brain Boyz being the ancestors of the Snotlings (although the Orks still believe that, but it's no longer the official explanation it was in Rogue Trader).

(Dat'z still canon! Codex 7th ED 2014 and we'z seen it in the one before dat un!!!! What shrooms did ya zoggin' gits eat?!)

==Ork Klanz==
Oi, listen up ya gits. Dere's six diverant majah clanz of Ork, and dey's all right 'ard. Da clanz waz made way back by [[The Beast|the biggest, baddest warboss dere eva waz]], startin' out as his specialist boyz before dey became dey own klanz.

<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Dere's da '''Snakebites''', and dey'z a buncha fundie gits what won't use any teknowlogy more complicated den a [[choppa]] an' warpaint. Anytime dere's a world dat a WAAAAAGH smashed up, it gets full o' fundie boyz. When we pick em up, dey run off ta da Snakebites anyway instead o' learnin how ta fight propa. But dey got squiggoths, an' every WAAAAGH needs really big killy tings. Snakebites wear brown, like a buncha zoggin' Amish folk.
* Da '''Bad Moonz''', what gotz lotsa teef 'cause dey grow faster den any other orks, so dey'z a buncha rich gits. 'at meanz dat dey's got da best squigs and dakka, but since dey'z such lazy gits, dey's [[Tau|no good at choppin' an' stompin']], so other orks can always just find a Bad Moon and stomp his teef out. Bad Moonz wear Yella, da color a big booms and shiny bits.
* '''Goffs''' are a buncha gloomy gits what don't ever have any fun and don't give a grot's toss about dakka, but dey'z somma da 'ardest of all da orks. [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]] himself wuz a Goff. Dats why he's so big, 'ard, an mean. Goffs wear black, da color a bein' DED 'ARD!
* Da '''Evil Sunz''''re all part a da Kult a Speed, and dey've got da most Meks, so dey're always muckin' about with teknowlogical equipment an speedy karts. Deyz big believas in da color red, cuz RED 'UNZ GO FASTA!
* '''Deffskullz''' are a buncha teevin', lootin' gits what'll grab anyfing <del>what's not nailed</del> if it's nailed down they'll loot the nails den loot da fing that was nailed down an' make it orky. [[Looted|Anyfing]]. Even in da middle of a scrap. Da mekz loves em, though, cuz nobody'z got more bitz and gubbinz than a Deffskull Loota. Deffskullz all seemz ta have some kinda technikal know-wotz, dough. Deffskullz wear da color Blue, cuz Blue's a lucky color.
* And, last of all but not least, dere's da '''Blud Axez'''. Dey're da ones what've been hangin' around da stinkin' humies fer ages too long, and gone and developed all sorts a un-orky tings like ''taktiks'' an' ''recownasense'' an' ''camo'flage'' an worse of all da magikal and feared cry of ''retreat''. Dey've even got a sayin' bout it: ''"If we runs for it, it don't count as losing, cuz we can also come back for anuvver go, see?"'' Dey'z mocked as cowardly gits by most of da boyz, but cause dey be dead cunning dey'z da main source of da best warbosses in WAAAAAAAGH! time (Next ta Da Prophet him self). An' its '''alwayz''' WAAAAAAAGH! time, ya git! Blud Axez wear cammerflage, but at least they paint it nice an' bright so's you can see'em coming.

Later, when da humies learned dat der was six Beasts, and each lead a lejun o Boyz, dey started tinking dat each o da Clanz were da rem-re-leftovers o each Beast's lejun.</ul>

===Ork Non-Klanz===
<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Den dere's da '''[[Freebooterz|Freebootaz]]''', boyz wut left deir klan ta become merks an' piratz an' dat, Freebooterz iz often kicked o' deir klan for likin' sumtin' dat izn't violence more dan violence, like [[Kaptin Badrukk]] (teef), [[Wazdakka Gutsmek]] (goin' fast), or [[Zodgrod Wortsnagga]] (snotlings), but some leave o' deir own accord for similar reasons, like [[Kaptin Bluddflagg]] (loot). Freebootaz will even work for stupid 'umies for shinies (or hats), though dat don't mean dey won't turn 'round an 'ave a go at dem too.
* '''Feral Orkz''' are like Snakebites, but coz dey don't have a choice, what with not 'avin' access to Ork kulture seein' 'az dey don't have space travel. Often join the Snakebites as soon as dey'z recruited by a WAAAAAAGH.
* '''Speed Freekz''' is what you call da members o' da '''Kult o' Speed''', a klub any Ork what likes goin' fast a lot can join, not just da Evil Sunz.
</ul>

==Ork Daily Life==

[[File:Wh40k online concept.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Your average Ork home. Quite cozy when it comes down to it, really.]]

Morning.
GET UP! Doesn't matter when . But usually in the mid morning, -unless a nob kicks him in the face cause he is late for something, which he usually is. Next eat. Either the breakfast his pet grot brings him or the grot it self. Orks dont much care it all tastes the same dipped in mud and fried on a stick chased with some fungus beer.
Hit the drops. Yes the communal act of using the local bog. Literally. He might get a scar on his duff to show off if the Squigs are feisty that morning. Then swagger about and try to find new things to kill. Or new ways to kill things. This lasts till about noon.

Noon
LUNCH! Fungus rums and beers. Squig pies and mushroom fries. Plenty of fights break out at lunch usually from a loota stealing another Orks 'sweet-squig' dessert. Or some nob mouths off when drunk. Either way LUNCH! Next nap time/ wrekreation. Most Orks, having spent a very busy day trying to think up new ways to kill or new things to kill, will take a nap. Usually the average rank and file lad who has nothing better to do. It is around now that the more specialized Orkoids shall gather in their respective mobs and set about spending afternoon and early evening doing what they do best. Be it practicing blowing crap up if tankbustaz. Racing around the camp as speed freaks. Helping the meks if lootas or burnas. <strike>Hiding in plain sight if kommand-</strike> Move along, nofink to see 'ere.

Evening
WORK TIME! The boss or local big mek or Warp'ead bullies most every one around the camp center and gets up on his WAAAGH!!! Banner-tower and starts to bark out orders on what they will attack that night, or where they will hit to steal material to build his next projekt, or give a flashy psycho-pyrotectic light show during a prophetic chant. (though sometimes if no one got up till half past 5 they plan it during the early morning.) Depending on the Clan majority this can be as simple as "Smash dis!" (A goff) to "Ok Dis team needs ta be 'ere right when da rockets hit Or we wont-" <strike>(Yeah Blood axes dont know when to shut up) </strike> '''*THUMP*''' ZOGGIN' 'Umiez.

Midnight
DA ORKING HOUR! Do what was stated in the evening until they get tired and go home to bed. It don't count as failing cause they will try again tomorrow. Or pull it off and party all night (to the dismay of the defeated) until they pass out.

Even the Daily Life of the Ork is a miniature WAAAGH!!!

==Reasons it Rokks to be an Ork==
# We'z gotz a shiney new 7th ork-dition Codex-fingy!
# We'z da biggest an' da strongest.
# We'z made fer fightin' an' winnin'.
# We'z got more boyz dan anyone else.
# All an ork eva wantz to do fo'eva iz to keep fightin', winnin', an' lootin'.
# Dem mekboyz can loot anyfing an I mean [[Looted_Emperor|ANYFING]]!!
++''{{BLAM| Previous record has been made of note to Ordo Xenos for immediate actions to be taken. The Emperor Protects}}''++

Ummm, wot woz dat? Zog, I've lost count of da resuns for being an Ork!
# We'z already know everythin' wotz wort' learnin'.
# We'z da 2nd least [[grimdark]] race in da galaxy. BUT DA BEZT GREENDARK hur hur hur!
# Da painboyz can fix ya up right'n proppa, even if yer bloody 'ead'z chopped off.
# We'z got da shiniest bitz, or we'z 'bout to krump da git dat does.
# The longa ya fite, the bigga and stronga ya get.
# Teef's legal tenda. Punchin' sum git in da face getz youz a day'z meal.
# If da mekboy can finks it, he can build it.
# An' if he sayz it workz, he's roight.
# We'z da orkz an' dey iz not.
# Dem 'umiez and marine boyz screamin' "FER DA EMPRER", an dem spikey boys yellin' "BLOOD FO' DA BLOOD GOD!" is nofin' kompared to "WAAAAAAAAAGH!"
# Da red wunz will '''alwayz''' go fasta.
# Purple iz da sneekiest colah.
# Yello' iz da 'splodiest colah.
# Blu iz da lukiest colah.
# Green iz da orkiest colah.
# I haz a hole in me chest an' a choppa stuck to me leg? Didn' notice it while I wuz krumpin dem spiky boyz.
# Unlike dem 'umiez, greyskins, an' panzees, anyone can be a warboss usin' nofin' more den a choppa an' a litl bit o' dakka.
# Even if all da boyz get krump'd, we'z still win. Da only way da gits can zog us off is by [[Exterminatus|dakkain' da 'ole bludy planet]].
# You'z can trade in yer dakka fer moah choppa, or vice versah, and you iz still Orky enuff.
# You'z kan build an army of serial [[METAL BOXES|bawkses]] an' duk' tape an' maybe a bit o' spikez an' bitz and still look reel smart an' orky.
# Rolling a double six with Shokk Attack Gun.
# Some Git shootz 90% of Your squad, but the Nob smackz one boy on the 'ead and everybody iz doing good.
# You'z kan talk legally like a retard.
# Giving da boyz a frying pan on the 'ead and a fender on the shoulda makes dem 'arder.
# Putting dem in a fridge makez dem mega'ard.
# You'z kan use every armiez gunz, but none kan use Yourz.
# If you die you get proppa afterlife wiz lotta fighnin' an' booze, instead of being raped by laffin' daemons for eternity.
# Youz don't havta Hate everfink dat's not a Ork.
# You WILL die of laffin' if You play orkz.
# Eiff Edishun iz da horde edishun! We'z can field more boyz dan dem 'humies or bug fingies!
# Lastly, an' most importantly, da mane reezun it rokkz ta be an Ork iz dis:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


==Reasons it sucks to be an Ork==
# You're the one species that is actually dumber than humanity. <strike>{{BLAM|HERESY!}}</strike> *THUMP* LOK BOSS I GOT MEH WUN UH DEM UMIES!!!!
# Your war cry "WAAAGH!" is overused by everyone. LIEK IF "FOR DA EMPRAH!!!" IZN'T OVERUZZED AZ 'ELL
# No matter how hard you try, you will never achieve enough dakka... and if you did, it'd end up destroying you too. A TRAGGADY, DAT IS!
# Despite having some awesome-looking guns, you can't shoot things for shit. Your standard Ballistic Skill is 2 (which means at best hitting things on a 5+), and when you ''do'' shoot somebody successfully it's probably due to sheer volume of bullets more than anything else. YOU SAY DAT LOIKE IT'S A FUKKEN BAD THING! 
# Your sole purpose in stories is to distract the Space Marines and the Imperial Guard from more dangerous threats like Chaos, Tyranids or Necrons. BUT WE'Z GET TA HAVE A REAL GREAT FIGHT WHILEZ BEIN' A DISTRAKSHUN. SO IT'Z STILL ALL GOOD. ALSO HAV YOU EVEN READ DA BEAST ARISES WE ZOG DEM HUMMIES UP. 
# Your army falls apart at the seams the minute your Warboss dies. NAH, WE'S JUST GOT TA FIGURA' OUT WHUZ IN CHARGE NEXT, DAN WE COMES BACK AROUND TA FUMP EM AGAIN! <strike> Hiss! By that time we've NOMNOMNOMNOM'D on you </strike> '''*CRUNCH*''' ANUDDA 'EAD FER ME POINTY STIKK!
# Anytime you use anything, from your smallest pistol to your [[Battlefleet Gothic|largest space ship]], you have the same chances of surviving its use as a grot snuggling an overcharged standard issue Imperial [[Plasma Weapons|Plasma Gun]]. Offset by the fact you can survive 4th degree burns, decapitation, being septic, and acquiring space tetanus. OY, DOK. WUTZ DIS TETANATHINGY? CAN WE'Z SQUISH ET?
# In Second Ed there was an alarming risk that your entire army might die before the battle actually started because almost no Ork units had sealed armour. ORKZ DUN' NEED ARMER! NOT WEN ORKZ GOT DAKKA!! SMASH DEM GITS WITOUT'IT!
# You have a mushroom and two spore pods dangling between your legs, and Kroot find it a delicacy. <strike> GOOD MEAT BAKKAWW! </strike> *THUMP* I DUNNO WUT DIS DUN SAID BUT IT URT ME EYES SO I KRUMPED IT!!!!
# You're part of [[Squad broken]]. WELL, UH... ZOGGIT. WE GOT NUFFIN CLEVA TA SAY BOUT DAT. MAYBE SUMFING ABOUT IT BEING MADE BY DEM NECKBEARDED GROTZ WIV DA FEDORAZ AN STUFF
# <strike>You haven't had a new codex since 4th edition. And it's starting to show.</strike> SHUT IT YA GIT, WE'ZE DA ORKS AND YOU'Z A BUNCH O PANSY GITS! B'SIDES, WE IZ GOING TA GET NEW CODEX DIS 6TH ED! OI BOSS WEZ GOT A SEVENF EDISHUN CODEX BEFORE THE PANSY GITS DID! N NOW WE'Z GOTZ A SHINEY NEW 7 ORK-DITION CODEX-FINGY! ZOGGIN' GORK! DIS EYFF EDISHUN KODEX IS DED KILLY! 
# <strike>There is a slight chance that [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is going to write 6th edition codex. If so, in the next codex you'll read something like this: "The Orks insatiable thirst for violence is, really, just a way of coping with the angst they feel that no matter what they do, they will never be Ultramarines."</strike> WHO KEEPS LETTIN' DEZ' HUMIES IN 'ERE! WE'Z BLOODY INFESTED! GET DA BURNAZ! <strike>(Also [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is apparently too busy with pestering Forge world for more Space marine resin collections to be converted into plastic for the main product line to be bothered with our humble bumbling green skins.)</strike> Tipakill 'umie bee'ayevyohr dat iz. Alwayz ignorin' da orky fingz in loif an' only payin' attentchuhn to zoggin' 'umie fingz. Downroight shaymfol dat iz. Da onlee REEL orky 'umie dere iz iz dat Kaptuhn Yarik; Gork - or eh, iz it Mork? - bless 'iz 'eart. (Trust us greenskin, Matt Ward ignoring you is a good thing.) But waznt 'e fired fur being an annoying grot? I GOT DA BURNAZ!! WE HAVIN A BBQ?? MAKE MINE CRISPY AN DUN FORGET DA EXTRA SQUIG SAUCE
# Orks do not draw psychic power from the [[Warp]], [[Derp|but still take Perils of the Warp]]. DEM WEIRDBOY GITZ JUST ORK'D TOO 'ARD!
# <strike>if dere ain't any Stormboyz, yer army k'n get krumped by da Blu Gitz real easy like. No not [[Ultramarines|DEM]] blue gits The [[Tau|udda ones]] wif da nice dakka and puny stompas.</strike>'''*CRUNCH*''' OI! WHO LET DA GROT DO DA TALKIN?! WE JUS' SMASH DEM BLUEBOYZ WIT 'ARE CHOPPAS WHEN WE GET CLOSE, AN' IF DAT DON'T WORK WE JUST MATCH DERE AMOUNT OF DAKKA WIT SOME PRETTY KILLY SHOOTAS. UNLESS DEY SEND DA RED COMMIT THO... GOOD FING DEY GOT RID OF HIM!
# Even doh dere is [[Yarrick|wun humie]] dat foights good and ard and iz real ded killy, ee iz da greatest enemy ov da Orkz. *THUNK* DA GREATEST ENNEMY OF DA ORKS IZ DA RED COMMIT! DAT BLUE BOY'S STOMPA IS FREE TIMES FASTA DAN A REGULAR WUN!
# <strike>You probably dont have a penis. You can piss on Space Marines, only to die a short while later.</strike> IZ DAT BAD FING? OOMIEZ SAYZ DAT IT VERY HURTZ WHEN WE 'IT EM IN IT? Wait... Dat what dey call the mushroom'n'spore pods? Poor suckas! Dey have PAIN nerves down dat way? No WONDER dey scream so bad when we kick em there. 
#<strike>Even (some) vegetarians will eat you</strike> NOT IF WE EAT DEM FIRST! HAH! 
# You all piss yourselves at the very mention of the name of a certain [[Farsight|Red Armored Swordsman]]. WE'Z JUST BE SO EXCITED CAUSE DAT BLUE-BOY ACTUALLY PUTS UP A FIGHT! More so than the Orks did against an old Ethereal with a pointed stick! *KRUMP* SHUT IT YA GREAT LANKY BLUE GROT 

== See Also ==
* [[Grot]]
* [[Snotling]]
* [[The Beast]]
* [[The War of The Beast]]
* [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]]
* [[Gorgutz_%27Ead_%27Unter|Warboss Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter]]
* [[Deffboss]]
* [[WAAAGH]]
* [["Da Tragedy of Hamlet, boss of Denmark" by Shake-da-boss-pole]]
* [[Makbeff]]
* [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Orks(7E)|Tactics/Orks]]
* [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Orks/Dred_List|Dreadnought List]]
* [[Codex Orks: Space Odin Edition]]
* [[Ork Gunz]]
* [[Gargant]]
* [[Stompa]]
* [[Deff Skwadron]]
* [[Scraplootas]]
* [[Da Chopshop]]
* [[Ork Trek]]
* [[Ironjawz]] for one of their Age of Sigmar counterparts.
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whxcq4I0kAo Da Ork Song]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXCLtD5batc Dem Ork Boyz Song]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Ork flowchart.png|WAAAAGH flowchart
Image:WAAAAGH.jpg|WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Image:Ork_WTF_is_this.jpg|WOT'Z DAT
Image:Orks_are_made_4_rokkin.jpg|ORKZ IZ DA ROKKINEST
Image:WOT_DA_ZOG.jpg|DA PAINBOSS IZ GONNA WANT TA LOOK AT DIS WOTEVA IT IS
Image:Disguise_1.jpg|Orks are the best at disguises
Image:Disguise_2.jpg|Stoopid [[beakie|beakies]]
Image:Disguise_3.jpg|Weeabork
Image:Orktaku.jpg|A different sort of Weeabork
Image:Samurork4.jpg|The truest of Weeaborks
Image:Da_warboss_Lincoln.jpg|The assassination of warboss Lincoln.
Image:GorknMork.jpg|Gork and Mork
Image:Ork_Fortress.jpg|WE'Z AMUZED BY ENTIRE PUNY 'UMIE IMPERIUM
Image:Pimp_Ork_1.jpg|PompadOrk
Image:Pimp_Ork_2.jpg|EY YOU GITZ WE 'EARD YOU LIKE TA MAKE IT ORKY SO WE ORKYFIED YER ORKY SQUIGOFF SO YOU'Z CAN WAAAGH WHILE YOO'Z WAAAGHIN'
Image:Killskata.jpg|Jet Grind RadiOrk
Image:Gorkken_Morkann_by_Jaekyu.jpg|'OO DA 'ELL DO YA FINK WE IS?!!!
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz_2.jpg|IT'Z TIME FER SUM IKSPERIMINTS
Image:Ork_teaparty.jpg|No reason we can't be civil
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz.jpg|SIANTZ. It works.
Image:Oldboyz.jpg|Oldboyz can Waaagh! too. They just need a nap afterwords.
Image:Orkpoke.jpg|SlowpOrk
Image:Ork_Anatomy.jpg|Inaccurate (but in-universe) depiction of orky gubbinz.
Image:Orkspekta_gubbinz.jpg|Orkspekta Gubbinz iz on da case!
Image:Orkishbeprepared.jpg|<strike>Jeremy Irons is orky, right?</strike> COURZE 'E IZ! E'Z ZO ORKY YOU'Z CAN'T LISTEN TA DA ORIGINAL SONG WIWOUT 'EARING DIS!
Image:Green.jpg|Supagreen
Image:1229746903774.jpg|[[Deff Skwadron]]. Zoggin' bootiful.
Image:Proud'n'Bootiful.jpg
Image:1239594444871.jpg|Transform and WAAAGH! (Holyshit this thing actually transforms.)
Image:1258887158852.jpg| Essentially....this is the best thing ever.
Image:mythbusta.jpg
Image:Ork_love_potion.jpg|Love Can WAAAGH!
Image:Ork with Lego shootah.jpg
Image:Squig_drops.jpg
Image:Eldars_are_orky.jpg|[[Eldar]]z iz da most orky race evar, ya gitz!
Image:Ork Powuz.png|An alternate explanation of how a WAAAGH works.
File:Mork and gork orks warhammer 40k 1334752549083.jpg|Brutally cunning or cunningly brutal?
File:CoDorks.jpg|Only Orks are capable of making something utterly godawful into something completely Orky.
File:SmurfOrks.jpg|Orks, mastaz uf stelff'en
File:Bork_Kube.jpg|A viable Ork space ship design
</gallery></center>

{{Template:Orks-Forces}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}

[[category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Orks]]
[[Category: Xenos]]

Ork

2017-10-22T07:50:48Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Overview */

{{awesome}}
'''''"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"''''' 
:-Da Orks, all da zoggin' time.
[[File:Orks attack3.jpg|600px|thumb|right|'Ere we zoggin' go, let's break sum' 'eads!]]
{{Topquote|War means fighting, and fighting means killing.|Nathan Bedford Forrest}}
{{Topquote|War is the business of barbarians.|Napoleon Bonaparte}}

The '''Orks''' are a race in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Commonly known as "Greenskins" or "the Green Tide", they're probably the most numerous and infestive race in the entire 40K setting, or at least on par with the [[Tyranids]]. They have a ''[[Warhammer Fantasy]]'' equivalent, the only major differences being that fantasy Orks are now called Orruks, and they have a (slightly) lower level of technology relative to the setting.

==Overview==
[[File:Ork_Boy.jpg|200px|thumb|left|[[Ork_Boy|The original Boy]]. This guy has been around since 2nd ed.]]
Orks are the most successful race of the [[Warhammer 40,000 | 41st millennium]]. Despite their entire lack of structured education or training, they seem to be very proficient with all kinds of technology, which they inevitably utilize for their armaments (of which firearms and vehicles are the most common). This is explained away in the fluff by their origins: they were created by the [[Old Ones#Warhammer 40,000|Old Ones]] to be a warrior race called the ''Krork,'' and some of them (the Mekboyz) were genetically hard-wired to have a pre-programmed proficiency for technological engineering. Unfortunately, the Old Ones died before they could finish their little science project; specifically the psychic control mechanism. The ancient Krork were known to have fought the ancient Eldar empire when the latter was at the peak of its power and were implied to have been a considerable threat (a Harlequin in M32 compares the nearly invincible hordes of the Beast as being like children compared to them).
This means that such war machines simply fight everything, everywhere, all the time. In principle, Orks can loot just about anything: the minor greenskins, such as "Grotz" ([[goblin]]s) can construct several working vehicles and machines out of mere scrap (They actually can't but orks believe they can so it happens see: a few paragraphs below).

The Orks derive much of their success from their reproductive process: Orks are, essentially, a psychosensitive hybrid of animal and fungi, not unlike a very complex version of a lichen. One advantage is a redundancy of vital organs, making them able to easily survive events such as head transplants and the fact that it's not easy to kill an individual Ork since they could very well shrug off injuries that would put a human to a crippled state. In fact there is a [[Valhalla|Valhallan]] folktale about a relative finding an Ork, [[Carnifex#Old_One_Eye|thawing it out only for it to attempt to kill them]]. Another advantage is their ability to grow larger as they win more battles (due to the aforementioned psychosensitivity): an Ork who is winning a fight is enjoying himself, which causes fluctuations in the gestalt field that all Orks generate. These fluctuations supercharge the Ork's physiology, causing the Ork to gain muscle mass and evolve. Consequently, if an Ork should somehow be incapable of fighting (like being imprisoned); they will actually ''devolve'' instead, causing the Ork to become pudgy and lethargic. This was observed during [[Xenology]] where a captive Ork was eventually found morbidly obese when the Inquisitor brought him out for dissection. Hence,the saying: "Orkz iz made fer fighten' and winnin'" applies literally in their case, as the incentives of fighten' and winnin' are what makes or breaks an Ork.

In addition, the fungal part of their physiology allows Orks to reproduce asexually en masse through underground fungal colonies that act as self-sustaining ecosystems. Reproductive spores enter the topsoil, produce fungal mycelia that assimilate base nutrients and could exchange genetic information with other mycelia, putting normal Human sexual reproduction to shame, and eventually produce lesser Orkoids: squigs and Grotz. The Grotz cultivate the protein-rich squigs in preparation for the emergence of the greater Orks, which take longer to develop. All in all, this cycle was designed to fight against the Necrons, which sterilized a planet to its bacteria. Orks can terraform a barren planet into a veritable paradise this way, though what defines "paradise" is a point of discussion; if you like endless wars and tribal conflicts in a mushroom rich planet, it probably is.

Though all Orks discharge reproductive spores throughout their lives, the most significant and numerous emissions occur when an Ork ''is dismembered or dies.'' This means that, for Orks, combat and death are their principal means of reproduction and genetic exchange, and a Space Marine/Guardsman chainsawing/shooting/artillery-bombarding an ork just results in ten thousands, if not millions, of Orks coming for ya, kinda like [[tyranids]]. Nice Job chainsawing it, Space Marine. Due to this, an Ork infestation is incredibly hard to handle if kept unchecked since it won't take them long to get enough boyz to launch a full-scale WAAAGH! to overrun an entire planet and necessitate [[Exterminatus]]. We can use flamethrowers, [[Plasma]], nukes, [[melta]] weapons or anything high-energy to eradicate any spores and fungi, saving the world from the eventual Exterminatus, but then again, efficiency ain't manly n' [[grimdark]] enough compared to good ol' spore-releasing bolters, chainswords and artillery.

Orks only have two popular combat doctrines: [[Choppa|choppy]], which involves giving your opponents a good stomping up close, and [[dakka|shooty]] which involves spitting out as many bullets as possible with an assortment of shootas, and the faster it shoots; the better. That said, a good shoota should also still be able to kill enemies ''while'' putting out a lot of dakka, otherwise it wouldn't be killy (and woe betide an Ork who isn't killy). Because of the Ork's naturally low penchant for accuracy; they typically get around this problem in two methods: the first one is to have a gun that simply shoots bullets as fast as Orkily possible that the wielder ''should'' be able to hit something eventually (strapping two or more shootas together is a crude but effective way to go about this). The second one is to make the gun really killy every time it shoots, like putting a dangerously high-explosive shell in a kannon that can obliterate an entire building in one shot.

Orks are commonly believed to be stupid and superstitious by the other races of the 40k world, but they can also be cunning and quick on the draw. Orks are always ready for a fight and while you can trick them, they quite like the idea of tricking people back.

Their philosophy of DA RED WUNZ GO FASTA is the ultimate truth: because of the aforementioned gestalt field, Ork vehicles painted red will, ultimately, go faster than Ork vehicles that are ''not'' painted red because the Orks believe that Red makes everything go faster:
DIS 'UMIE GIT THINKZ DAT DA RED WUNZ DON'T GO FASTA? DEY DON'T KNOW DAT ANYFING PAINTED RED MAKES IT DA BEST AN' MAKES IT GO FASTAAAA COZ RED IZ BEST! '''*WHAM!*''' NO IT AIN'T, YA BLEEDIN' SQUIG, '''GREEN''' IZ BEST! '''*Boots up the bog*''' SHUT YER GOB, 'E WAS TALKIN' 'BOUT DA TRUKKS, YA GIT!

We can assume that this cuts both ways, with enemies such as the Blood Angels and White Scars gaining the same boost due to their use of red paint.

A hallmark of Orkoid, for lack of a better term, civilization is the WAAAGH!. Pronounced similar to "war" as the "GH" is silent. Always written in all-caps, with at least three "A"s and an exclamation point, the WAAAGH! occurs when an Ork population reaches critical mass and a dominant Warboss appears. A Warboss is an Ork Alpha who is bigger than all the other Orks and have proven his right to lead by either his sheer size or krumpin' all the other big Orks that thinks otherwise. Lesser Orks sense the presence of the Boss in the Orks' psychic field and follow him on what is often described as a combination of pub riot and holy war with a dash of genocide. The WAAAGH! accomplishes two things: it weeds out weaker Orks, keeping the species strong; and it facilitates genetic exchange and reproduction as the Orks die and release spores.

The Ork economy is based on teef, more information on which [[toof|can be found here]].

Ork religious beliefs also help manage their population. Orks believe in two gods, [[Gork]] and [[Mork]]. One is the god of cunning brutality and the other is the god of brutal cunning, the difference being that one hits you when you aren't looking and the other hits you harder when you are. Unfortunately, no one can decide which god is which, nor can the Orks decide which is better: cunning brutality or brutal cunning. These differences of opinion tend to lead to Gigantic Brawls, yet another method of keeping the Ork race strong, warlike and in check. Their division also keeps them perpetually divided, for it has been theorized that if the Orks were to ever unite in one big WAAAGH!, their gestalt reality-warping field might just as well turn omnipotent and crush all opposition

Ork society is effectively the perfect society. Its society is a Kratocracy (A Government ruled by the strongest, fitting for Orks) in maturity as all disputes are settled fairly quickly and painfully (just the way they like it). The economy is steady, as teef grow and rot at a reliable rate. Once a Boss is in charge, mostly everyone falls into place, and the Orks go and [[/tg/ Gets Shit Done|get shit done]].

Also, they probably killed the Imperial Fists. All of them.

Fun fact: The orks use black and white on their shock troops, because it reminds them of the Luna Wolves who destroyed them at Ullanor. The orks do not fear death, but they do fear the Luna Wolves. That is right, Horus traumatized them as a race more than the fucking grim reaper. Note: Why would you fear death, if death usually results in you being reborn into several thousands of yourself? Horus probably swept the spores up post battle and that's why they fear him. Though it's also worth mentioning that Orks harbor a natural fear of Commander Farsight too, whom they know as "Da Red Commit". Though given that the Dawn Blade consumes the souls of those it kills, it's likely that any Orks cut down by Farsight do not reproduce. But then again he was committing Ork genocide long before he found the blade so...

==Ork Teknology==

[[File:Dat zoggin bigmek by majesticchicken.jpg|220px|thumb|left|A perfect example of Ork tech. Powered by make-believe and the essence of love, and patched together with duct tape and chewing gum, the emperor himself has truly never seen finer craftsmanship or innovation.]]

Ork technology works mainly because the Orks think it does. The official explanation is that the subconscious gestalt psychic field that all Orks generate enables their technology to function; the stronger the field, the more unlikely their technological achievements become. In older versions of the fluff, if you hand an Ork a pipe and convince him it's a gun, it WILL shoot bullets. They're like reality-warping Physical "Gods", only weakened by their stupidity and their preference to fight each other instead of uniting, hence why the Imperium still manages to survive in these dark times. In later versions, this has been toned down from "impossible" to merely "unlikely" because GW won't keep anything canon that's that [[derp|badass]]. If Ork technology is held together by spit, duct tape, and hope, then the Orks' psychic field provides the hope.

For example: a Wartrukk with a mob of Orks in it sputters and dies. Da boyz hop out and have a look.
One of da boyz examines the readouts and says to the Nob driver, "Da bloody fing is outta gas!"
Said Nob hits the offending Ork in the face so hard that he falls unconscious. "Look 'ere, I'z da boss, and I sez I filled this fing up righ' before we left!"
The rest of da boyz look at each other, halfway convinced. He ''is'' the biggest Ork among them, and he ''did'' just prove it. Maybe he ''did'' fill it up right before they left. That's the sort of thing one does when one's in charge. Da boyz begin to file back into the Wartrukk, and with a satisfied nod, the Nob gets in and cranks her up. Because da boyz believe that there is plenty of fuel in the truck, one drop does for ten, and the Wartrukk and da boyz arrive just in time for the next fight.

The purpose for this sort of thing is primarily to compensate for the Orks' technological disadvantage by comparison with races like the [[Tau]], [[Necron]]s, or the [[Eldar]]. For example, a meat cleaver in the hands of an Ork can tear through the toughest ceramite armor if the Ork believes it will; for anyone BUT an Ork, a power weapon or the equivalent would be required to do so. This tends to work well for them, but not for the other races of the galaxy: Imperial observers note that Ork weapons generally will not function in the hands of a non-Ork. The only reason the Orks haven't exploited the limits of their generated gestalt field by creating easily made but devastatingly powerful weaponry that could eclipse the weapons of the other races is that they themselves do not know nor understand that they create said field, they believe that their equipment works because that's how the universe wants it to work, not because they themselves are making it work. Which I guess makes it true. This, in turn, makes for an interesting paradox: If orks managed to understand the physical universe as it is, they would not believe their "weapons" work, thus, stripping them of their psychic advantage. If there is a little ounce of disbelief, this would wreck their ability to... believe hard enough so as to manipulate reality.

This said, Orky know-wots DO have a say in stuff that the Orks build. Mekboyz build much of the stuff they do because they have been genetically ingrained with the knowledge on how to make and maintain their technology. While much of their tech runs because they want to, the basis is that the Orks ''can'' actually build a conceptually working frame to get all Orky on. This explains how Orks can build such technological wonders as the Shokk Attack Gun, which propels [[Snotling|Snotlings]] through the Warp and into the armor, tanks, [[Rape|and bodies]] of their enemies. Also, there ''have'' been instances of Ork tech working well in the hands of other races,( at least for a time till it blows up). Be careful though, most Ork players have ''very'' deep-set opinions on how Orky tech works, and [[skub|debates]] between them can generate much [[RAGE]].

Occasionally, if a "tech-caste" gets into control of an Ork society, ridiculous constructions can result. Best example we know about is the Telon Reach Empire and its central stronghold Gorro. A "scrapworld", Gorro was full of things that shouldn't have worked at all (Horus notes that individual bits of architecture inside were just too mad for any human to contemplate) and could withstand the normally planet-killing weapons on the Vengeful Spirit and Emperor's own flagship. The Orks defending it were far more advanced than most (everything from their augmententations to the accuracy of their ships' weapons) and had actually built a plasma reactor to hold their world together. Their function mostly relied on the Orks' gestalt, as the core began to fail as the Emperor, Horus and their respective posses carved through the population. Once the Emperor killed the resident Warboss and psychically burned the rest of the Orks (a preview of what he'd eventually do to Horus) the system went into total meltdown.

===Special Note on Orky Vehicles===
To properly describe what Ork vehicles are like is a difficult prospect, or perhaps an overlooked opportunity. Either way, few actually attempt to clarify in tangible terms what orkish vehicle-makers create.

Let's start with the venerable Trukk. Keep in mind that the standard Ork Boy is a hunched, monstrous, 7-foot-tall Hulk Hogan. Now, the Trukk is essentially an over-sized, skeletal pickup truck, with armored bus tires and a spiked ram-plate for a bumper. The frame is then covered in all manner of inch-thick armor plating, the basic standard in orkish vehicle armor. No Ork vehicle with more than two wheels has an engine smaller than a V8, and the trukk is no exception. A common brag for a trukk owner, "I'z put twelve silenderz in dis 'ere kart" (when not met with the classic "You shoulda sprung fer forteen!" comeback), is similar to a human saying he put an extra two cylinders in his car and overhauled his transmission.

Larger orkish vehicles, like the Big Trakk, often use V14 engines that any human would say belongs on a fishing trawler. Alternatively, some vehicles use turbine engines for extra torque (which is always a good thing) and a higher top speed (also a good thing), or crackling electrical engines (less popular than a good-old combustion engine, but can "accidentally" taze pesky Lootas or enemies who get too close (i.e. rammed)). Big Trakks are literally the size of a heavy tank, but are completely open-topped to provide a chassis for hauling Boyz or insanely big gunz into the fight. They have banks of fat-tired wheels or, most likely, four-plus-foot-wide treads. They have as much torque as a Battle Wagon and fear no infantry.

==Orks and the Emperor==

One theory of the [[Emperor|Emprahs]] continued existence (despite the fact his throne is in serious need of an MOT) is the fact that the Orks BELIEVE it to be so. As any self-respecting Weirdboy will tell you, what da boyz fink will 'appen (see below), so if they think the Emperor is still alive then alive he will be. Probably cos they're not stupid enough to realise he's a corpse more fucked than a Slaaneshi cultist at Ciaphas Cain's place.. 'ANG ON A SECOND.. I FINK DEY BE MAKIN FUN OF US...WELL.....MAYBE WE OUTTA GO STOMP SUM HUMIES! (thas rite, the "chaos boys" are messing with you orks, go stomp them in the name of the Emp... For the WAAAGGGHH!. aehm..)

==Special Groups of Orks==
Apart from the regular Boyz, there are several groups of Orks who specialize in a specific task or doctrine. Called Oddboys (if they are relatively normal when fighting time rolls around) or Wyrdboys (when they shoot lighting out of their eyes, gunz or eye-gunz). The most common ones are:

===[[Oddboys|Oddboyz]]===
This category is filled with Orks who express genetic predispositions to certain tasks. Here are your Mekboys (engineers), Painboys (doctors), Weirdboys (psykers), Madboyz (psychos), Slaverz (take care of grots, snotlings and slaves), [[Dorfs|Brewerz]] (makers of alcohol; retconned), [[Noise Marines|Rockaz]] (musicians; also retconned), and Shoutaz (communications experts).

====Kult of Speed====

[[File:Kult o speed by majesticchicken.jpg|250px|thumb|right|'''WAAAAAAAAGHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''']]

[[Speed freeks]] who commonly go into the battlefield on bikes hyped up on dakka and flashy bitz, as their name suggests, they'z like goin' faster dan fast. On tabletop, they're okay, since they're really shooty for Orks and fairly cheap. These guys field the classic Mobile Ork Army, which causes loads of [[Butthurt]] and [[Rage]] when people go up against them. Just look out for Lascannons.
*'''[[Deff Skwadron | Flyboys]]''' - Crazed pilots that like fast vehicles, death defying stunts, and lots of dakka. The better pilots, fighta aces, are held in great esteem only by other flyboys and tend to give themselves crazy-cool nicknames.

====[[Burna Boyz | Burna boyz]]====
Burna boyz are similar to standard orks in ability, possessing no unique qualities except every one of them being a pyromaniac. These boys are the type who would burn their own mother alive if she tried to stop them from playing with matches, even though Orks technically don't have moms. As such, they regularly burn their own comrades for the hell of it (to see them 'do da burny dance'). Their obsession with fire is of course, genetically coded, and this has a particular disadvantage during periods of time where stealth is of the essence. In fact, this pyromania coupled with the rate of accidental deaths among Orks may explain why Burna boyz aren't more common; after all, an Ork that accidentally burns himself to death wouldn't be able to spread his spores so easily. On a more lighthearted note, they are also quite fond of fungus cigars! GREEN IZ BEST

====[[Mekboy|Mekboys]]====
Meks are Orks who are capable of making the ramshackle yet effective weapons and vehicles the Orks use. They're primarily the ones who makes the warband's wagons, restore salvaged vehicles, and create/modify weapons. An Ork who lead bands of Mekboys is called a "Big Mek", and is a bitch to kill on tabletop if he's kitted out. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZQdaEFa_60 Five-up cover saves for everyone!] 'Ho says we aint smart 'n' such! Only fing betta den an ork is an ork wif a good bit of technorkology 

====[[Tankbustas]]====
Many Orks enjoy the odd explosion. These guys like that so much that they decided what better way to get their kicks than to get into a nice squad of 5-15 boys and try blowing tanks sky high with their rokkits. They also train Squigs to run into tanks while strapped to the hilt with explosives. And if neither of that works, run into close-combat and strike the tank with a rokkit attached to a metal stick. They get so high off this that they will enter the broken vehicle, eat any survivors, and drink the motor oil in a ritual act known as "GETTIN' TANKED!" 

====[[Lootas]]====
Lootas are Orks who are obsessed with pimping out their shootas by salvaging bitz from their enemies. Lootas are critically important to Orkish mechanical industry, because they head salvage operations and assist Meks where Grots can't. They're also the ones who loot wrecked tanks and vehicles after a battle to use as Looted Wagons, with the help of Mekboys, which means Orks can remobilize rapidly, and scale up to match tank-driving foes. <strike>When not fighting or looting, Lootaboyz are a menace to Orky society, stealing, swindling, making trouble, and being the reason other Boyz can't have nice things.</strike> WOT?! YIZ SAYIN' DERE'S TIME WHEN DA ORKZ AIN'T FOIGHTIN' OR LOOTIN'?! I OUTTA GIVE YA A STAMP!!!

====[[Flash Gitz]]====
<strike> DA PIMPIEST ORK IZ DA BESTEST ORK!!!!!!</strike> Dat is why dey arrogant Gits. They are another group of shoota-obsessed Orks known as "Flash Gitz"; rich, obnoxious Bad Moonz gits who buy powerful weapons and upgrades using their large stockpiles of [[toof|teef]]. They love nothing more than showing off their wealth and (supposedly associated) martial power. They do things like wearing ''FABOLOUS'' clothing, sporting huge banners declaring their awesomeness (shogun-style), and plating everything they have in gold, silver, platinum, or any other shiny metal they have at hand (although gold is preferred). Goldz iz da bestest. Flash Gitz boast the shootiest kustom shootaz in all of orkdom, sometimes known as "snazzgunz", which makes them an invaluable asset to their clan. Conversely, due to their boasting and attitude problems they often alienate pretty much every other Ork they work with, and are prone to getting their arrogant asses booted out of their group the moment they become less useful than annoying.

====[[Freebooterz]]====
Orks who raid and pillage the galaxy as MOTHERFUCKING PIRATES. And just to add to their awesomeness, they'll usually dress and/or speak like pirates. (W)AAARG! Well-known individuals include Kaptins Badrukk and Bludflagg.

====[[Ork Kommando|Kommandos]]====
Orks who managed to figure out that charging a gunline isn't always the best option, so dey'z da sneakiest of da Orks. They typically paint themselves purple, which Orks believe is the sneakiest color (and because Orks are Orks, purple does in fact make them harder to see ... don't ask how the fuck that one works, it just does Hav you eva seen a purpul ork? Course not, dey's too sneaky . Kommandos rely on stealth tactics rather than balls-out firepower, and achieve this by using crude camouflage techniques, Speshul Forces equipment such as NVGs, various types of grenades, and all those other gubbins that makes them all sneaky. The concept of Orks using tactics beyond drowning their enemies in corpses and bullets is so completely out there that a lot of Imperial commanders [[Skaven|do not believe that Kommandos actually exist]], but nobody laughed when a Kommando unit suddenly [[Blood Ravens|hi-jacked]] a unit of 3 [[Deathstrike Missile Launcher]]s inside a Mordian regiment's lines drove 1 to the front and proceeded to launch it at the their front lines, killing thousands, including a [[Baneblade]] (Except for the Orks, who laughed their faces off as this was happening). Meanwhile, the Kommandos ran off with the remaining one and 2 extra missiles.

Kommandos are typically distrusted by Orks due to their chosen battle strategy. They view as sneaking about rather than getting to a fight, right and proppa as "Muckin' about". The enjoyment of the color purple among them is also considered right strange. As there aint no such thing as a purple ork!

In practice, all of this boils down to a fairly simple difference in tactics. Whereas a normal Ork Boy will see the enemy and immediately [[WAAAGH|shout]], run up to him, and smash him in the head, a Kommando will see the enemy, hide behind a nearby [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|bush]]/[[Dorf|barrel]]/[[Creed|lamp-post]] and wait for the enemy to get close like 5 feet to 2 meters, THEN shout, run up to him, and smash him in the head.

An ork asked about Kommando groups. "I dinna see anyfing... Do you?"

====Feral Orks====
Hidden away in GW fluff are these guys. These guys are what happens after a WAAAGH! has left your planet. They crop up in wildernesses and form tribes. They don't have technology (like shootas) or any kind of mekboys or even good resources to build junk. They are roughly on par with your [[Warhammer Fantasy|Fantasy]] Orks, so you can just use your Fantasy army in 40k if you can fluff your army right. Not like it matters, it's the same tactic either game. They tend to have Grots, Kommandos and Weirdboys coming out of their ears, and love to ride big squigs. If you don't prune them back to the forest well enough, they might sic buttloads of squiggoths on you. Snakebites love these guys, and if space-born Orks pick them up, Feral Orks usually become Snakebites anyway.

They breed a special kind of Oddboy, the Pigdok, who is a combination of a Mek and a Dok, but excels at neither. They do surgical procedures like a stereotypical medicine man, wander around covered in robes and talismans given to them by the Weirdboy Shamans, and head the construction of things like ballistas and catapults, all the way up to magical stompy Idols and the [[Titans_40k#Orky_Titans|Steam Gargant]].

====[[Weirdboy | Weirdboyz]]====
Weirdboyz are Orks who are active psykers. All Orks are passive psykers, emitting their gestalt field, but Weirdboyz are the only ones who can decide they're gonna blow another Ork's face off with a mean look and a lightning bolt (well, the only Orks who can decide to do it and it'll happen). They tend to be crazy and can blow up if they're not careful. Even when they are careful. Sometimes blowing up is the preferred/expected option for a Weirdboy.

==Retcons==
All following Ork Oddboys have been retconned, at least by GW's word. They live on in our hearts (and custom-models) as:

===Rokkas===
[[Rogue Trader]] Orks with a penchant for hard rock, metal, leather armor, and overgrown hair squigs. While still technically retconned, they do seem to keep cropping up in the fluff. Also known as Goff Rokkas, these boyz tend to come out of the Goffs exclusively, but it isn't completely unknown for other Clans to spit out one of these crazy green "musicians". They play machine gun guitars and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_wdRy7x4Sc PARTY 'ARD!!!]
It should be noted that Rokkas were invented in the Eighties, so they don't play things like Death Metal as much as they do generic Metal, 80's Metal, electric guitar ballads, and Hard Rock. It should also be noted that they are still available on Games Workshop's site. PARTY ON!
===Shoutas===
These orks have over-developed lungs and super-strong vocal cords so that they can [[Derp|yell really loud.]] Yes, you heard me right. They yell across Gargant-tops and over battlefield din to act as a telecommunications array. <strike>See, not all things that were retconned were too good to last.</strike> '''SHUDDUP STOOPID HUMIE, WHUT DO YOU KNOW?!?!?! SHOUTAS IZ DA BEST!!!!!!!'''

'''YOU'Z CALL DAT SHOUTIN'? YOU'Z AIN'T A REEL SHOUTA, YA GIT!'''


'''A REAL SHOUTA'''

'''DROWNS OUT DA'''

'''COMPUTISHUN!'''

'''I Konkur!'''


'''I'z prefur sneekin' up to some hummie and shoutin' in iz ear from reel gut close.'''


Anyone caught messing with this section again will get their shit handed to them. Do you know how fucking hard it is to make sure this shit is right? I can't do this AND dodge those fucking Orks. I'm a janitor, not a FUCKING NINJA!

'''See, iffin' you'z had sum of dat purpley paint, dis wouldn' be a problem now, would it?'''

''' 'e got youz good, e' did. aneewayz da squigs ated da inturn again. Git ta cleenen dat wod ya.'''

===Brewerz===
Again, not technically retconned, but never mentioned after about 3rd Edition. Brewerz, or Brewer Boyz function much like Mekboys or Mad Doks do, knowing the inns and outs of brewing through genetically inherited inntuition. They make alcohol out of squigs. Made everything from beers to malts to meads to liquors to scotches. Yes, certain squigs can be made into scotch. No, no grains are involved in the process. No, they've never don this in Scotland. No, you may not question this.
SQUIGGIE WALKER - RED LABEL! COS IT ZOGZ YOU IN DA BRAIN FASTA!
''Eend out of mashrooms too booss!'' 
Basically, they brew babies into beer sometimes. 
 
<strike>'''HERESY, ORK HERESY, ANY IMPERIAL CITIZENS WILL BE MURDERED ON SIGHT AFTER READING THIS.'''</strike>''' *WHAM* OY BOSS, DEM HUMIES IZ TRYN'A TAKE AWAYZ OUR SQUIG JUICE!
'''

''' Zoggin DAMN'IT! NOT AGAIN!'''

===Female Orks===

MY EYES!!!! THEY BURN!!!

Vaguely referenced in older fluff and glimpsed during Blood Bowl, sacrificed because nobody wants to see those canonized saggy Ork tits (Except [[/d/]]), and fucking whores (and ye mum). Suffice to say, some drawfags will still draw them and several on [[/tg/]] will doubtlessly [[Faptau|fap]] to it. Considering how many random mutations are seen amongst the Orks, the possibility is [[Meme|more likely than you'd think]]. In normal canon, Orks are asexual, popping out of fungal growths in the ground...

...but in the older fluff, when the Orks were basically Fantasy Orcs in space, there ''were'' female orks. Later fluff [[retcon]]ned this, so that in later parts of their life cycle Orks would temporarily develop sexual characteristics and go bang one another. For the sake of Games Workshop's writers' self-respect, this too was also retconned. And all but the drawfags are happy for that. All in all though, the idea of female orks or goblinoids of any sort is much more readily accepted across most genres involving greenskins of any sort, so the decision may more likely have been to make the Orks dependent on getting blown up to repopulate along with being hardlined for blockbuster style war (though, as with all evolution, this is mutable to change, as there are Orks like the Blood Axes who understand ideas like trading with da' humies', peace, and using functional armor and weapons that don't stop working just because da' mob' believes dey are useless. SEE, HUMIES ARE GUD' F'R SOME FINGS BUT NOT EVERY FING!).

 Oi'm twalf an' wots dis? 

===Brain Boyz===
Brain Boyz is how the Orks call the Old Ones. The retcon is that the Orks' origin has shifted around a few times, such as the Brain Boyz being the ancestors of the Snotlings (although the Orks still believe that, but it's no longer the official explanation it was in Rogue Trader).

(Dat'z still canon! Codex 7th ED 2014 and we'z seen it in the one before dat un!!!! What shrooms did ya zoggin' gits eat?!)

==Ork Klanz==
Oi, listen up ya gits. Dere's six diverant majah clanz of Ork, and dey's all right 'ard. Da clanz waz made way back by [[The Beast|the biggest, baddest warboss dere eva waz]], startin' out as his specialist boyz before dey became dey own klanz.

<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Dere's da '''Snakebites''', and dey'z a buncha fundie gits what won't use any teknowlogy more complicated den a [[choppa]] an' warpaint. Anytime dere's a world dat a WAAAAAGH smashed up, it gets full o' fundie boyz. When we pick em up, dey run off ta da Snakebites anyway instead o' learnin how ta fight propa. But dey got squiggoths, an' every WAAAAGH needs really big killy tings. Snakebites wear brown, like a buncha zoggin' Amish folk.
* Da '''Bad Moonz''', what gotz lotsa teef 'cause dey grow faster den any other orks, so dey'z a buncha rich gits. 'at meanz dat dey's got da best squigs and dakka, but since dey'z such lazy gits, dey's [[Tau|no good at choppin' an' stompin']], so other orks can always just find a Bad Moon and stomp his teef out. Bad Moonz wear Yella, da color a big booms and shiny bits.
* '''Goffs''' are a buncha gloomy gits what don't ever have any fun and don't give a grot's toss about dakka, but dey'z somma da 'ardest of all da orks. [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]] himself wuz a Goff. Dats why he's so big, 'ard, an mean. Goffs wear black, da color a bein' DED 'ARD!
* Da '''Evil Sunz''''re all part a da Kult a Speed, and dey've got da most Meks, so dey're always muckin' about with teknowlogical equipment an speedy karts. Deyz big believas in da color red, cuz RED 'UNZ GO FASTA!
* '''Deffskullz''' are a buncha teevin', lootin' gits what'll grab anyfing <del>what's not nailed</del> if it's nailed down they'll loot the nails den loot da fing that was nailed down an' make it orky. [[Looted|Anyfing]]. Even in da middle of a scrap. Da mekz loves em, though, cuz nobody'z got more bitz and gubbinz than a Deffskull Loota. Deffskullz all seemz ta have some kinda technikal know-wotz, dough. Deffskullz wear da color Blue, cuz Blue's a lucky color.
* And, last of all but not least, dere's da '''Blud Axez'''. Dey're da ones what've been hangin' around da stinkin' humies fer ages too long, and gone and developed all sorts a un-orky tings like ''taktiks'' an' ''recownasense'' an' ''camo'flage'' an worse of all da magikal and feared cry of ''retreat''. Dey've even got a sayin' bout it: ''"If we runs for it, it don't count as losing, cuz we can also come back for anuvver go, see?"'' Dey'z mocked as cowardly gits by most of da boyz, but cause dey be dead cunning dey'z da main source of da best warbosses in WAAAAAAAGH! time (Next ta Da Prophet him self). An' its '''alwayz''' WAAAAAAAGH! time, ya git! Blud Axez wear cammerflage, but at least they paint it nice an' bright so's you can see'em coming.

Later, when da humies learned dat der was six Beasts, and each lead a lejun o Boyz, dey started tinking dat each o da Clanz were da rem-re-leftovers o each Beast's lejun.</ul>

===Ork Non-Klanz===
<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Den dere's da '''[[Freebooterz|Freebootaz]]''', boyz wut left deir klan ta become merks an' piratz an' dat, Freebooterz iz often kicked o' deir klan for likin' sumtin' dat izn't violence more dan violence, like [[Kaptin Badrukk]] (teef), [[Wazdakka Gutsmek]] (goin' fast), or [[Zodgrod Wortsnagga]] (snotlings), but some leave o' deir own accord for similar reasons, like [[Kaptin Bluddflagg]] (loot). Freebootaz will even work for stupid 'umies for shinies (or hats), though dat don't mean dey won't turn 'round an 'ave a go at dem too.
* '''Feral Orkz''' are like Snakebites, but coz dey don't have a choice, what with not 'avin' access to Ork kulture seein' 'az dey don't have space travel. Often join the Snakebites as soon as dey'z recruited by a WAAAAAAGH.
* '''Speed Freekz''' is what you call da members o' da '''Kult o' Speed''', a klub any Ork what likes goin' fast a lot can join, not just da Evil Sunz.
</ul>

==Ork Daily Life==

[[File:Wh40k online concept.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Your average Ork home. Quite cozy when it comes down to it, really.]]

Morning.
GET UP! Doesn't matter when . But usually in the mid morning, -unless a nob kicks him in the face cause he is late for something, which he usually is. Next eat. Either the breakfast his pet grot brings him or the grot it self. Orks dont much care it all tastes the same dipped in mud and fried on a stick chased with some fungus beer.
Hit the drops. Yes the communal act of using the local bog. Literally. He might get a scar on his duff to show off if the Squigs are feisty that morning. Then swagger about and try to find new things to kill. Or new ways to kill things. This lasts till about noon.

Noon
LUNCH! Fungus rums and beers. Squig pies and mushroom fries. Plenty of fights break out at lunch usually from a loota stealing another Orks 'sweet-squig' dessert. Or some nob mouths off when drunk. Either way LUNCH! Next nap time/ wrekreation. Most Orks, having spent a very busy day trying to think up new ways to kill or new things to kill, will take a nap. Usually the average rank and file lad who has nothing better to do. It is around now that the more specialized Orkoids shall gather in their respective mobs and set about spending afternoon and early evening doing what they do best. Be it practicing blowing crap up if tankbustaz. Racing around the camp as speed freaks. Helping the meks if lootas or burnas. <strike>Hiding in plain sight if kommand-</strike> Move along, nofink to see 'ere.

Evening
WORK TIME! The boss or local big mek or Warp'ead bullies most every one around the camp center and gets up on his WAAAGH!!! Banner-tower and starts to bark out orders on what they will attack that night, or where they will hit to steal material to build his next projekt, or give a flashy psycho-pyrotectic light show during a prophetic chant. (though sometimes if no one got up till half past 5 they plan it during the early morning.) Depending on the Clan majority this can be as simple as "Smash dis!" (A goff) to "Ok Dis team needs ta be 'ere right when da rockets hit Or we wont-" <strike>(Yeah Blood axes dont know when to shut up) </strike> '''*THUMP*''' ZOGGIN' 'Umiez.

Midnight
DA ORKING HOUR! Do what was stated in the evening until they get tired and go home to bed. It don't count as failing cause they will try again tomorrow. Or pull it off and party all night (to the dismay of the defeated) until they pass out.

Even the Daily Life of the Ork is a miniature WAAAGH!!!

==Reasons it Rokks to be an Ork==
# We'z gotz a shiney new 7th ork-dition Codex-fingy!
# We'z da biggest an' da strongest.
# We'z made fer fightin' an' winnin'.
# We'z got more boyz dan anyone else.
# All an ork eva wantz to do fo'eva iz to keep fightin', winnin', an' lootin'.
# Dem mekboyz can loot anyfing an I mean [[Looted_Emperor|ANYFING]]!!
++''{{BLAM| Previous record has been made of note to Ordo Xenos for immediate actions to be taken. The Emperor Protects}}''++

Ummm, wot woz dat? Zog, I've lost count of da resuns for being an Ork!
# We'z already know everythin' wotz wort' learnin'.
# We'z da 2nd least [[grimdark]] race in da galaxy. BUT DA BEZT GREENDARK hur hur hur!
# Da painboyz can fix ya up right'n proppa, even if yer bloody 'ead'z chopped off.
# We'z got da shiniest bitz, or we'z 'bout to krump da git dat does.
# The longa ya fite, the bigga and stronga ya get.
# Teef's legal tenda. Punchin' sum git in da face getz youz a day'z meal.
# If da mekboy can finks it, he can build it.
# An' if he sayz it workz, he's roight.
# We'z da orkz an' dey iz not.
# Dem 'umiez and marine boyz screamin' "FER DA EMPRER", an dem spikey boys yellin' "BLOOD FO' DA BLOOD GOD!" is nofin' kompared to "WAAAAAAAAAGH!"
# Da red wunz will '''alwayz''' go fasta.
# Purple iz da sneekiest colah.
# Yello' iz da 'splodiest colah.
# Blu iz da lukiest colah.
# Green iz da orkiest colah.
# I haz a hole in me chest an' a choppa stuck to me leg? Didn' notice it while I wuz krumpin dem spiky boyz.
# Unlike dem 'umiez, greyskins, an' panzees, anyone can be a warboss usin' nofin' more den a choppa an' a litl bit o' dakka.
# Even if all da boyz get krump'd, we'z still win. Da only way da gits can zog us off is by [[Exterminatus|dakkain' da 'ole bludy planet]].
# You'z can trade in yer dakka fer moah choppa, or vice versah, and you iz still Orky enuff.
# You'z kan build an army of serial [[METAL BOXES|bawkses]] an' duk' tape an' maybe a bit o' spikez an' bitz and still look reel smart an' orky.
# Rolling a double six with Shokk Attack Gun.
# Some Git shootz 90% of Your squad, but the Nob smackz one boy on the 'ead and everybody iz doing good.
# You'z kan talk legally like a retard.
# Giving da boyz a frying pan on the 'ead and a fender on the shoulda makes dem 'arder.
# Putting dem in a fridge makez dem mega'ard.
# You'z kan use every armiez gunz, but none kan use Yourz.
# If you die you get proppa afterlife wiz lotta fighnin' an' booze, instead of being raped by laffin' daemons for eternity.
# Youz don't havta Hate everfink dat's not a Ork.
# You WILL die of laffin' if You play orkz.
# Eiff Edishun iz da horde edishun! We'z can field more boyz dan dem 'humies or bug fingies!
# Lastly, an' most importantly, da mane reezun it rokkz ta be an Ork iz dis:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


==Reasons it sucks to be an Ork==
# You're the one species that is actually dumber than humanity. <strike>{{BLAM|HERESY!}}</strike> *THUMP* LOK BOSS I GOT MEH WUN UH DEM UMIES!!!!
# Your war cry "WAAAGH!" is overused by everyone. LIEK IF "FOR DA EMPRAH!!!" IZN'T OVERUZZED AZ 'ELL
# No matter how hard you try, you will never achieve enough dakka... and if you did, it'd end up destroying you too. A TRAGGADY, DAT IS!
# Despite having some awesome-looking guns, you can't shoot things for shit. Your standard Ballistic Skill is 2 (which means at best hitting things on a 5+), and when you ''do'' shoot somebody successfully it's probably due to sheer volume of bullets more than anything else. YOU SAY DAT LOIKE IT'S A FUKKEN BAD THING! 
# Your sole purpose in stories is to distract the Space Marines and the Imperial Guard from more dangerous threats like Chaos, Tyranids or Necrons. BUT WE'Z GET TA HAVE A REAL GREAT FIGHT WHILEZ BEIN' A DISTRAKSHUN. SO IT'Z STILL ALL GOOD. ALSO HAV YOU EVEN READ DA BEAST ARISES WE ZOG DEM HUMMIES UP. 
# Your army falls apart at the seams the minute your Warboss dies. NAH, WE'S JUST GOT TA FIGURA' OUT WHUZ IN CHARGE NEXT, DAN WE COMES BACK AROUND TA FUMP EM AGAIN! <strike> Hiss! By that time we've NOMNOMNOMNOM'D on you </strike> '''*CRUNCH*''' ANUDDA 'EAD FER ME POINTY STIKK!
# Anytime you use anything, from your smallest pistol to your [[Battlefleet Gothic|largest space ship]], you have the same chances of surviving its use as a grot snuggling an overcharged standard issue Imperial [[Plasma Weapons|Plasma Gun]]. Offset by the fact you can survive 4th degree burns, decapitation, being septic, and acquiring space tetanus. OY, DOK. WUTZ DIS TETANATHINGY? CAN WE'Z SQUISH ET?
# In Second Ed there was an alarming risk that your entire army might die before the battle actually started because almost no Ork units had sealed armour. ORKZ DUN' NEED ARMER! NOT WEN ORKZ GOT DAKKA!! SMASH DEM GITS WITOUT'IT!
# You have a mushroom and two spore pods dangling between your legs, and Kroot find it a delicacy. <strike> GOOD MEAT BAKKAWW! </strike> *THUMP* I DUNNO WUT DIS DUN SAID BUT IT URT ME EYES SO I KRUMPED IT!!!!
# You're part of [[Squad broken]]. WELL, UH... ZOGGIT. WE GOT NUFFIN CLEVA TA SAY BOUT DAT. MAYBE SUMFING ABOUT IT BEING MADE BY DEM NECKBEARDED GROTZ WIV DA FEDORAZ AN STUFF
# <strike>You haven't had a new codex since 4th edition. And it's starting to show.</strike> SHUT IT YA GIT, WE'ZE DA ORKS AND YOU'Z A BUNCH O PANSY GITS! B'SIDES, WE IZ GOING TA GET NEW CODEX DIS 6TH ED! OI BOSS WEZ GOT A SEVENF EDISHUN CODEX BEFORE THE PANSY GITS DID! N NOW WE'Z GOTZ A SHINEY NEW 7 ORK-DITION CODEX-FINGY! ZOGGIN' GORK! DIS EYFF EDISHUN KODEX IS DED KILLY! 
# <strike>There is a slight chance that [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is going to write 6th edition codex. If so, in the next codex you'll read something like this: "The Orks insatiable thirst for violence is, really, just a way of coping with the angst they feel that no matter what they do, they will never be Ultramarines."</strike> WHO KEEPS LETTIN' DEZ' HUMIES IN 'ERE! WE'Z BLOODY INFESTED! GET DA BURNAZ! <strike>(Also [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is apparently too busy with pestering Forge world for more Space marine resin collections to be converted into plastic for the main product line to be bothered with our humble bumbling green skins.)</strike> Tipakill 'umie bee'ayevyohr dat iz. Alwayz ignorin' da orky fingz in loif an' only payin' attentchuhn to zoggin' 'umie fingz. Downroight shaymfol dat iz. Da onlee REEL orky 'umie dere iz iz dat Kaptuhn Yarik; Gork - or eh, iz it Mork? - bless 'iz 'eart. (Trust us greenskin, Matt Ward ignoring you is a good thing.) But waznt 'e fired fur being an annoying grot? I GOT DA BURNAZ!! WE HAVIN A BBQ?? MAKE MINE CRISPY AN DUN FORGET DA EXTRA SQUIG SAUCE
# Orks do not draw psychic power from the [[Warp]], [[Derp|but still take Perils of the Warp]]. DEM WEIRDBOY GITZ JUST ORK'D TOO 'ARD!
# <strike>if dere ain't any Stormboyz, yer army k'n get krumped by da Blu Gitz real easy like. No not [[Ultramarines|DEM]] blue gits The [[Tau|udda ones]] wif da nice dakka and puny stompas.</strike>'''*CRUNCH*''' OI! WHO LET DA GROT DO DA TALKIN?! WE JUS' SMASH DEM BLUEBOYZ WIT 'ARE CHOPPAS WHEN WE GET CLOSE, AN' IF DAT DON'T WORK WE JUST MATCH DERE AMOUNT OF DAKKA WIT SOME PRETTY KILLY SHOOTAS. UNLESS DEY SEND DA RED COMMIT THO... GOOD FING DEY GOT RID OF HIM!
# Even doh dere is [[Yarrick|wun humie]] dat foights good and ard and iz real ded killy, ee iz da greatest enemy ov da Orkz. *THUNK* DA GREATEST ENNEMY OF DA ORKS IZ DA RED COMMIT! DAT BLUE BOY'S STOMPA IS FREE TIMES FASTA DAN A REGULAR WUN!
# <strike>You probably dont have a penis. You can piss on Space Marines, only to die a short while later.</strike> IZ DAT BAD FING? OOMIEZ SAYZ DAT IT VERY HURTZ WHEN WE 'IT EM IN IT? Wait... Dat what dey call the mushroom'n'spore pods? Poor suckas! Dey have PAIN nerves down dat way? No WONDER dey scream so bad when we kick em there. 
#<strike>Even (some) vegetarians will eat you</strike> NOT IF WE EAT DEM FIRST! HAH! 
# You all piss yourselves at the very mention of the name of a certain [[Farsight|Red Armored Swordsman]]. WE'Z JUST BE SO EXCITED CAUSE DAT BLUE-BOY ACTUALLY PUTS UP A FIGHT! More so than the Orks did against an old Ethereal with a pointed stick! *KRUMP* SHUT IT YA GREAT LANKY BLUE GROT 

== See Also ==
* [[Grot]]
* [[Snotling]]
* [[The Beast]]
* [[The War of The Beast]]
* [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]]
* [[Gorgutz_%27Ead_%27Unter|Warboss Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter]]
* [[Deffboss]]
* [[WAAAGH]]
* [["Da Tragedy of Hamlet, boss of Denmark" by Shake-da-boss-pole]]
* [[Makbeff]]
* [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Orks(7E)|Tactics/Orks]]
* [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Orks/Dred_List|Dreadnought List]]
* [[Codex Orks: Space Odin Edition]]
* [[Ork Gunz]]
* [[Gargant]]
* [[Stompa]]
* [[Deff Skwadron]]
* [[Scraplootas]]
* [[Da Chopshop]]
* [[Ork Trek]]
* [[Ironjawz]] for one of their Age of Sigmar counterparts.
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whxcq4I0kAo Da Ork Song]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXCLtD5batc Dem Ork Boyz Song]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Ork flowchart.png|WAAAAGH flowchart
Image:WAAAAGH.jpg|WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Image:Ork_WTF_is_this.jpg|WOT'Z DAT
Image:Orks_are_made_4_rokkin.jpg|ORKZ IZ DA ROKKINEST
Image:WOT_DA_ZOG.jpg|DA PAINBOSS IZ GONNA WANT TA LOOK AT DIS WOTEVA IT IS
Image:Disguise_1.jpg|Orks are the best at disguises
Image:Disguise_2.jpg|Stoopid [[beakie|beakies]]
Image:Disguise_3.jpg|Weeabork
Image:Orktaku.jpg|A different sort of Weeabork
Image:Samurork4.jpg|The truest of Weeaborks
Image:Da_warboss_Lincoln.jpg|The assassination of warboss Lincoln.
Image:GorknMork.jpg|Gork and Mork
Image:Ork_Fortress.jpg|WE'Z AMUZED BY ENTIRE PUNY 'UMIE IMPERIUM
Image:Pimp_Ork_1.jpg|PompadOrk
Image:Pimp_Ork_2.jpg|EY YOU GITZ WE 'EARD YOU LIKE TA MAKE IT ORKY SO WE ORKYFIED YER ORKY SQUIGOFF SO YOU'Z CAN WAAAGH WHILE YOO'Z WAAAGHIN'
Image:Killskata.jpg|Jet Grind RadiOrk
Image:Gorkken_Morkann_by_Jaekyu.jpg|'OO DA 'ELL DO YA FINK WE IS?!!!
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz_2.jpg|IT'Z TIME FER SUM IKSPERIMINTS
Image:Ork_teaparty.jpg|No reason we can't be civil
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz.jpg|SIANTZ. It works.
Image:Oldboyz.jpg|Oldboyz can Waaagh! too. They just need a nap afterwords.
Image:Orkpoke.jpg|SlowpOrk
Image:Ork_Anatomy.jpg|Inaccurate (but in-universe) depiction of orky gubbinz.
Image:Orkspekta_gubbinz.jpg|Orkspekta Gubbinz iz on da case!
Image:Orkishbeprepared.jpg|<strike>Jeremy Irons is orky, right?</strike> COURZE 'E IZ! E'Z ZO ORKY YOU'Z CAN'T LISTEN TA DA ORIGINAL SONG WIWOUT 'EARING DIS!
Image:Green.jpg|Supagreen
Image:1229746903774.jpg|[[Deff Skwadron]]. Zoggin' bootiful.
Image:Proud'n'Bootiful.jpg
Image:1239594444871.jpg|Transform and WAAAGH! (Holyshit this thing actually transforms.)
Image:1258887158852.jpg| Essentially....this is the best thing ever.
Image:mythbusta.jpg
Image:Ork_love_potion.jpg|Love Can WAAAGH!
Image:Ork with Lego shootah.jpg
Image:Squig_drops.jpg
Image:Eldars_are_orky.jpg|[[Eldar]]z iz da most orky race evar, ya gitz!
Image:Ork Powuz.png|An alternate explanation of how a WAAAGH works.
File:Mork and gork orks warhammer 40k 1334752549083.jpg|Brutally cunning or cunningly brutal?
File:CoDorks.jpg|Only Orks are capable of making something utterly godawful into something completely Orky.
File:SmurfOrks.jpg|Orks, mastaz uf stelff'en
File:Bork_Kube.jpg|A viable Ork space ship design
</gallery></center>

{{Template:Orks-Forces}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}

[[category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Orks]]
[[Category: Xenos]]

Orcs & Goblins

2017-10-15T20:48:30Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Regions */

{{stub}}
'''FOREWARD:''' This article will be translated into Orcish by volunteer greenskins.

The Warhammer Fantasy equivalent to the [[Orks]] of the [[Warhammer 40,000|OTHER Warhammer]]. ( These guys were first, so Orks are the [[Warhammer 40,000|40K]] version of [[Warhammer Fantasy|proper Orcs]] )

==On Orcyness==
Generally speaking, the Orcs & Goblins army is made up of a species with mysterious origins called "greenskins" in slang terms by players, [[Games Workshop]], and many in-universe races. The race generally speaks in a Cockney (a type of British accent (yes the lime-men come in different types). It's supposed to sound sorta like [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFxOqFRgD8o&index=3&list=LLmF5KFCNNZbrCqPhGnuB6EQ this] ) accent. They incorporate things from football (soccer) hooligans as well, since during the time that Warhammer was first created there was something of social unrest as soccer matches often devolved into (very) violent fights. Just as soccer fans are prone to strange practices like wearing specific clothing the day their team plays to assigning particular meanings to colors and designs, Orcs follow suit. Any time Orcs get lines of speech, their words are spelled in heavy-handed parodies of their accent. They are prone to renaming things, like spears being "STABBAZ" or Dwarfs being "STUNTIEZ".

Unlike 40k, Fantasy greenskins are far more diverse in origin, some even being capable of sexual reproduction (maybe). Also unlike 40k, where the greenskins are pretty much just Orks and their goblin-like diminutive expendable servants called Grots, Fantasy greenskins consist of an extraordinary variety of different types based on region of origin and role in the greater group with the smaller Goblins having equal importance to the bigger Orcs. The army also consists of Giants, Trolls, Squigs, Dire Wolves, Dire Boars, and pretty much anything else greenskins can goad into battle and in earlier editions had savage Humans and Half-Orcs as well. Going beyond the tabletop, mercenaries from other races such as [[Tilea|humans]] and [[Ogre Kingdoms|Ogres]] may find themselves marching with more intelligent groups of Orcs and Goblins. Greenskins are, along with humans, particularly susceptible to [[Vampire Counts|Undeath]]. Just about anything you can think of to put in would work in fluff, as the army books continually state that greenskins are a very diverse group.
Greenskins usually congregate into groups called "mobs" lead by a "Boss" or "Warboss" (although there's no unified term). Orc chain of command is usually established passively by size, and when size is close then by physical combat or more trivial ways such as yelling louder than the other greenskin. Goblins tend to be more intelligent, and establish the pecking order through convincing others of their importance, usually just by being the goblin capable of telling the biggest lie and getting others to believe it. Mobs organize themselves further into tribes, and at the largest level (invariably one on the march to war) a "WAAAGH!".
Greenskins (possibly) breed by releasing spores upon death, which permeate the ground. Most are born with a rudimentary level of knowledge, with larger varieties rarely learning more than what they began with.

 We'z da down to Earff boyz, not loik dem gitz in spess.
Da humiez, stuntiez, and pointy 'eadz calls us "greenskinz". Deyz can all zog off. 

 We'z not all just Orcs an' Gubbinz though. Sumtimes we get'z biggunz, and trollz to stop muckin' about an krump some gitz wiff us. Oh, an evry proppa' boy haz 'is own Squig. Sum boyz got a fing for findin' beastiez dat can foight, an hitchin' em to wheelz to get into da foight fastah'. Dat's smart finkin', ammright? 

 So da Boss of da greenskinz's is da Boss. Bosses ain't always called Bosses, sumtimes gitz call 'em uvver fings'. But dat's dumb. Bosses are da' biggest and bestest in da group, and da biggest and bestest alwayz' end up leadin' a big enuff group an' lead a WAAAGH! against who needz' a good WAAAGH!in'! 

 So'z when we'z get krumped, lil'unz' pop outta da' dirt. Dey'z dumm as Ogrez, but giv 'em a beatin' an dey get in loin' kwik enuff.

The main drive in life for greenskins is to fight and die in spectacular ways. Greenskins may gather into a massive WAAAGH! to invade a human city, slaughter its defenders, then disperse into infighting and eventually wander away in small bands without even entering the defenseless metropolis because there's no longer a fight to be had, and plenty of loot already on the field (to fight over). More intelligent varieties may see greater purpose in life, from Orcs who realize that gold has value or who witness a great sight such as a knight mounted on a dragon which they will seek to emulate, to Goblins who may dedicate themselves to [[Chaos|the Chaos Gods]] or decide to entirely wipe out a group which has for as long as their tribe can remember kept their numbers low. Tribes that have been entirely wiped-out sometimes resurface, either because a story told by a Shaman inspires new greenskins to "join it", or because of the intervention of Gork and Mork, or maybe Mork and Gork. Simply obtaining looted gear belonging to an older tribe may inspire the new wielders to align themselves to it, leading to the same tribe existing in multiple places at once and having no knowledge of each other.
Greenskins are not only willing to fight their own, many look forward to it. They tend towards xenophobia, and combined with their diverse physical forms leads to constant conflict. As previously stated, this is in their minds a good thing.
When they do fight other groups, results are varied. Depictions of deities and figures are usually defaced, and remade into dedications to their local gods or the supreme gods of the greenskins [[Gork]] and [[Mork]] (or possible [[Mork]] and [[Gork]]). Some of these, through the magic of their race, animate. Things of value to them are looted, usually weapons and armor before things like gold and gems. Wood that can be re-purposed is taken to save time from chopping it. Conquered peoples fare different fates depending on numerous factors; sometimes winding up as slaves, beaten to work and dying at the boredom of their captors. Some are consumed as rations, men women and children alike. Some are ignored, since they provide no decent fight to be had and bothering with them would be a waste of time that could be spent marching to a fight.

Many players migrating from 40k may find greenskins to be less customizable than the 41st Millennium variant. While Orks are known to "loot" things from other races, like space ships and gear, and slap it together with shit (literally) and duct tape then simply mass-believe it into working until it does allowing players to buy what they want from other armies and Ork it up, Fantasy greenskins are less prone to the same level of extreme change. While it's certainly possible to take a chariot from the [[Tomb Kings]] and put a few shields on it and paint it red it never has quite the same effect as taking a Rhino and putting patches of welded metal along with a hydraulic arm on the side will. Ogres tend to be the more custom army. Greenskins tend to make their own gear, usually out of another race's but rarely will it still have the same look as it did originally (thus an Orc wearing an Empire helmet would be unusual, as they'd pound it to be more Orcy in most cases).
That's not to say that greenskins aren't amazingly open to options. Quite the opposite, they have more tabletop options than any army in the vanilla game and represent the "jack of all trades" option for the Destruction (evil) armies with their opposite being [[Empire|The Empire]]. That's also not to say they aren't a modder's dream, as they within the fluff do loot and slap their own styles onto what they take or sometimes adopt strange behaviors unlike those seen before. But while in 40k one may find Orks making a flying Dukes of Hazzard car wearing metal cowboy hats, Orcs would probably be mostly sticking to more realistic medieval things (but of course anachronism isn't new to the setting either).

 So da' point in loif' is to foight'. Ain't nuvvin' else to do.
Anyfing else is muckin' about. Yooz don' wanna be muckin' about, or yer Boss is gonna krump you. So keep yer feet goin' to da fight, an' if da Boss says dat you loot you loot, an' if da Boss tells you eat yooz eats, an' if da Boss sez It's time to WAAAGH! den yooz in luck! Dem uvver guys, dey foight' only when dey "got reason to". Dun' look at me, me dun unda'stand it eiver. But we'z green! We'z smart! We foight' 'cuz foightin' iz wot der iz to do! 

 Lil'unz dat come troo da swirly magic holes from spess land whine dat dere' ain't enuff loot around. You do dis, you get krumped by da boss for bein' dumm. And in da hardest way as 'e can. Dat alway'z givez us a good laugh. 

==Females and Hybrids?==
Way back in the day before 40k cast its grimdark shadow over Fantasy (in fact, long before 40k was even thought of) Warhammer Orcs were not only the biggest threat in the setting, but also had normal biology. Half-orcs existed from 1st to 3rd edition Warhammer, and females had models.

However, much like everything else it borrowed from Fantasy, the creation of 40k [[Skub|shat all over the Orcs and Goblins concept]]. After Goblins ("Grots") were relegated exclusively to the status of "bitch Orks", GW concocted a bullshit explanation for their endless numbers; that Orks are mono-gender. They are fungal rather than mammal, and where an Ork's dangly bits should be there's instead a bloated sac full of spores which, upon death, bursts releasing thousands of baby Orks into the ground (interestingly, this means that all Orks lack a penis and thus urinate like females). While it was mentioned in early 40k fluff in a large list of Ork mutations that "Femboyz" exist, they were never elaborated on nor mentioned again. Little else on the list that never received a model was either however. This handily explains the massive population growth of Orks despite their comically high losses, which were dialed up to 11 in 40k as well.

While it was never made legitimately all-encompassing canon in Warhammer Fantasy via an all-inclusive "Orcs and Goblins breed through spores only"-style entry, GW nonetheless never mentioned Half-Orcs or Orc females again after 3rd edition. [[Night Goblins]] are mentioned to come from spores in a [[Black Library]] [[Skarsnik]] novel, although this can be explained by the strange anatomy and fungus obsession of the buggers as it is. In the ill-fated [[Warhammer Online]] game, Orc players begin their life emerging from a spore cave; but this game is non-canon, and took many liberties with lore.

Greenskin origins are suggested (but not confirmed) to be from spores brought accidentally by Old Ones. But since it was never actually retconned or contradicted, some players use the fluff that at least some Orcs and Goblins are technically still mammals and thus have some females who breed sometimes with some humans. Somewhere.
There's many fan explanations, from sexually breeding Orcs being a mutation to the spore Orcs being a mutation, to a non-greenskin species that dwell among the greenskins like Giants do being mistaken for Orcs, to Chaos Orcs of Slaanesh, and so on. Some have even ([[/d/|possibly]]) jokingly suggested a connection between the fungal nature of the new greenskin lore, and [[Nurgle|yeast infections]]. These are only a fan theories designed to bridge the gap between new and old lore, however.

The "Orcgina" and "SpOrc" argument is known for being an easy trigger for fights on /tg/. Much of the argument stems from two groups of purists; the first believing that the spore "Orkyness" makes Warhammer greenskins more unique. The second argues against anything that came from Warhammer iiiiiiiiiiin spaaaaaace. Factor in accusation of [[Magical Realm]], and you have [[Fail|a complete disaster]].

Uncharacteristically, Half Orcs are not described as pig-disgusting to humans and weak to greenskins. They simply exhibit traits of both, and have the Orcish/Norscan tendency to not get along with either. While they were described as being usually evil, Orcs back in the day were actually evil as well rather than being the fight-loving dimwits of today. As a result, when going with the assumption that they DO still exist, it's likely that they are simply [[Barbarian|barbarians]] uninterested in reading or magic rather than outright malevolent beings.

Anyone wishing to field half-orcs could simply hybridize Empire/Bretonnian bits with O&G bits. Female Orcs (Orc Girlz? Femboyz?) can be found in several ranges, notably Russian Alternative which produces models to use as proxies with Warhammer anyway. Female Goblins are rarer, as the specific look of Warhammer Goblins are rarely replicated elsewhere. Of course one can always just get creative with the [[Greenstuff]]...

Despite all of the above, the spore AND female Orcs are canon to [[Blood Bowl]]. Half-Orcs are mentioned in fluff blurbs, the old Orc cheerleaders are female, and there has also been mention of spores.
[[File:SQUISHY BITZ.gif|center|900px|FER THE HEADPATZ OF GORK AN' MORK, WHY?!]]
 Oi'm twalf an' wots dis? 
{{FWIP|'''DAT GIT WUZ KRUMPED FOR DAT POST.'''}}

<gallery>
Image:Warhammer Half Orcs.jpg|The original page referencing Half-Orcs (.
Image:Warhammer Female Orc.JPG|An original Citadel female Orc model, alongside the Boy of that era.
Image:Orc Femme 1.jpg|Artwork from [[Blood Bowl]] depicting an Orcy cheerleader.
Image:Orc Femme 2.jpg|That same Orc's model.
Image:Russian Alternative Orc Girlz.jpg|RA's Orc Girlz.
Image:Citadel Orc Villagers.jpg|The Citadel Orc Villagers series, which contained numerous females as well as children.
</gallery>

==History==

Greenskins don't care about history. At best, they are entertained with tales of violence (particular emphasis on the onomatopoeias). Shamans who manage to work up illusion magic and form visuals are well-prized by the group.

Greenskins factor into the histories of most races in the world. Although their numbers used to be far less, they still managed to get WAAAGH!s "organized" and rile up the other races.
Earliest firsthand knowledge comes from a Tomb King in the days before the collapse of the [[Warp Gates]] who spent much of his mortal life hunting them for his amusement and to keep their race from spilling into [[Nehekhara]]. Before that, it's known greenskins suddenly appeared while the [[Old Ones]] were creating the other races of the world without explanation as to their origins. The Lizardmen Saurus were immediately tasked to wipe them out (a task they failed at, and put on the backburner when the Gates collapsed and Daemons came into the world). It is unknown where they fit into the plan of the [[Chaos|Chaos Gods]] and Old Ones, but their natural affinity for chaos surpassing Chaos assures that whatever plan they were meant for, they almost certainly are no longer on that path.

WAAAGH!!! HAHA! 

==Regions==

*'''''Everywhere...'' In the Old World.'''
**No really, that's more or less it. Orcs and gobbos can be found everywhere in the world to some extend, unlike pretty much all other races in Warhammer Fantasy. Each region has its own variant of Orc or Gobbo, but for the most part, it's mostly the same. All green, all loves to fight. However, one region that has very few Orcs and Goblins is the New World, Naggaroth and Lustria. There are colonies from the Old World there, but nothing too large.
*'''The Badlands.'''
**This is practically the mainland of Orcoids everywhere. Dry, grassy expanse, the occasional mountain and a lot of dangerous wildlife makes it a real heaven for the Orcs and Goblins alike... Of course that means that the Badlands is uninhabited by pretty much all other races, who simply cannot make a living in such a barren and wild landscape. The Badlands are home to a multitude of clans of all sorts, and is also the region where Black Crag, an enormous Orc fort and city lies, a place that is constantly fought over by Warbosses. It is also home to the Spire of Bone, a fulcrum of sorts for shamanistic magic in the Badlands, and an object of worship for the Shamans of the mobs in the Badlands.

==Army==
The greenskin army list is rather large, and may take some time to peruse.

Bitch, bitch, bitch, I'z sad I'z not muckin' about! 

===Characters===
* '''[[Gorbad Ironclaw]]'''
Pretty famous for uniting every greenskin within smelling distance of his warboar(considering that Gnarla was the absolute foulest pig that ever lived this side of Grom the Paunch, that's a lot of greenskins). Renowned for smashing through right into the very heart of the Empire in his WAAAGH!!!, looting the Soland Runefang, and siccing an entire brood of wyverns into the Imperial Palace, among other things. The obligatory legendary warrior that you find in every army book.

* '''[[Azhag the Slaughterer]]'''
The Fantasy equivelant of [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]], what with seeing visions and being tactically sound and stuff. Azhag was born in the Troll Mountains to the far North, near the ancient ruined Dwarven Holds of that area. The place was riddled with Orcs, the ancient tribes having infested the caverns and roads of the long dead Dwarves. Apart form interclan Orc warfare, the Orcs fought the native trolls and nearby Chaos Northmen.

All was going along fairly dull until Azhag, who was at the time a weak cheiftan in charge of a small mob, was driven deep into a tomb by a large chaos warband. Hiding from them in the dens of Trolls (and butchering said trolls for a bit of sport) Azhag found an ancient crown with three green emeralds set into it. Azhag liked the "Shinee 'At" and promptly put it on his head. Unfortunately, said Crown was in fact an acient artifact first forged by Nagash, and it had a fraction of the Necromancer's terrible power put into it. Almost immediately, Azhag was overwhelmed by voices and commands to "Head North"; Orcs are notoriously stubborn however, and despite (or perhaps because of) his simple mind, Azhag could not be possessed by the crown.

Nevertheless, the crown granted Azhag mastery over the dark arts of Death, and would often whisper advice and instructions into his ear. Under the Crown's influence, his tactics quickly became "unorcy". Azhag began to use pincer movements, flanking, feints, and other methods of that sort. More then that, Azhag began to actually give orders to the Orcs in his army, instead of just smacking them about and telling them to "Git on wiv it!". Using these methods, Azhag quickly united the Orc tibes in the mountains under his leadership and anyone who objected was either hacked to peices or turned into dust. The orc tribes themselves didn't mind that Azhag would argue with himself or shout at empty air, dissmissing him as "eezen-trik" and following him to war quite readily.

Azhag then bagan to move south under the urging of the crown, shattering Kislev and rampaging in a massive Orc Waaagh! that completely overwhelmed the human defenders. Used as they were to the usual Orc tactic of "Git all da ladz den smash da gits" they were completey unprepared for actual tactics. If that wasn't enough, Azhag was a beast in combat, riding on the back of a massive Wyrm amnd shooting bolts of purple lightining from his eyes.

Ultimately, the crown itself proved to be Azhag's undoing. Tired of the easily distracted Orc wantering around instead of heading south the crown tried to achive complete control over Azhag during a terrible battle, leaving him quite defenseless when a warhammer came screaming down at his head. The crown itself was taken from Azhag's headless corpse and sealed inside the deepest vaults of the Imperial capital, and Azhag's warband splintred and was driven off. And that was the end of Waaagh! Azhag.

* '''[[Grimgor Ironhide]]''' There's too much awesome on this guy for a little note here.

* '''[[Wurrzag|Wurrzag Da Great Green Prophet]]'''
The mysterious wandering Shaman that travels the world searching for the fabled warboss destined to lead them into the last, greatest scrap. Wurrzag used to be your standard savage Orc boy until he shot out green lightning from his mouth with a sneeze, and turned the tribe's Shaman into a rampagaing squiggly beast during an important ceremony. After the Squig was cought and killed, the tribe prepared to ritually kill Wurrzag for his "Tranz-Gessons" when Wurrzag came under a trance. Dancing and gyrating more furiously than the tribe had ever seen Wurrzag proclamed that Gork and Mork were angry because the Lizardmen had come and destoryed thier stuff before building an ancient city where thier temple once stood.

Leading them to the ancient ruins, Wurrzag cajoled and ranted until two great totems were built and erected in the glory of Gork and Mork. It is said by the savage Orcs that while the totems stand they will never truly be defeated by their enemies, a prohecy which is holding true so far. Wurrzag soon left his tribe, driven on by gibbering madness to find and talk to other Shamans and get them ready for the Green Tide, an era when orcs will unite under a powerful warboss and take over the Old World.

Moving through to the lands of the dead, he was given a great Boar called Spleen Rippa as tribute by the Spotted Skullz , and after a terrible battle against the Tomb Kings he looted an ancient staff made from bonewood. Now equipped with a magical artefact of not insignificant power and on top of a mean Boar, Wurrzag wanders throughout the Badlands, meeting with Orc warlords and chieftans to dispense judgement, and smash gits whenever he can find them.

Wurrzag is currently attached to Grimgor's warband, and was left behind in the Badlands to "protekt da place". Mostly because Grimgor couldn't stand Wurrzag's constant yammering about Gork and Mork and his incessant shamanistic shuffuling.

 I saw dat 'un once. Showed up as we was fightin' da spiky Pointy 'eadz down by Throatslash Cliffs cuz we wanted dere boats, made his hands glow green an' a giant glowin' foot krumped da Pointy 'ead Boss an his boyz! Didn't even hafta' twitch and foam at da mouf like our Shammy. Was a larf riot, but he kept dancin' tha entire time like he had melty ironz under his feet an' a spider gob stuck in his britches. After the killin' an lootin' he looked at our Warboss real long, den said 'yer not Gorky enuff' an danced back to his boar. Boss wuz never da same after dat, looked like a Snotlin' that lives after drinkin' summa' what tha Night Gobs drink. We put 'im outta his misery, then had a punch-up fer who'z da new Warboss. Lost tha fight but got da most Teef, so I say I won. 

* '''[[Grom the Paunch|Grom the Paunch of the Misty Mountain]]''' Extremely fat Goblin who regenerated like a Troll due to eating some Trollflesh. Had an illustrious career, more than almost any other Greenskin in history, crowned by doing more damage to the most powerful non-Chaos race in the setting, the [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|High Elves]], than any faction other than the [[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Dark Elves]]. It should be noted that Goblins instinctively fear Elves.

 Dat gits a myth, no gobbo could do all da thingz dey say he'z done. Errytime sum gobbo starts squawkin' about Grom, I go outta my way to krump dem. Happened in a WAAAGH once, lost all my boyz 'cause I was busy chasin' da stoopid runty gobbos so dey'd stop sayin' Gromz real an da pointy star 'oomans chopped dem all up, my Big Unz like dey wuz just a gobbo. I started to charge back an' bash 'em all good, but da gobbos started runnin' and screamin' an before I knew it I wuz tryin' to run on toppa' ground o'gobbos so I gave up an' let 'em take me where dey wuz runnin, den krumped da little gits I could catch when dey stopped. 

* '''[[Git Guzzler]]'''
Grom's arch enemy that he never knew existed. Git wanted to be the biggest Goblin to ever exist and lead the biggest WAAAGH. Since Games Workshop forgot he existed, he probably failed.

 I neva' heard o'dis one. Sure its not more gobbo babblin'? I hate gobbo babble. I swear, I eva' find gobbos wif no moufs, I'm makin' my WAAAGH! outta dem. 

* '''[[Skarsnik|Skarsnik, Warlord of the Eight Peaks]]'''
While Grom was the epic Alpha male that goblins feature in their Orc-bullying fantasies, Skarsnik is the epitome of the cunningness of goblins everywhere. Skarsnik is so cunning that eventually came to be seen as the Morkier counterpart to Grimgor's insatiable battlelust.

* '''[[Gorfang Rotgut]]'''
An Orc who hates Dwarfs more than anyone else (unless you count Chaos Dwafs and Grimgor). Basically exists to be Skarsnik's Orc bottom bitch.

* '''[[Gitilla Da Hunter]]'''

* '''[[Snagla Grobspit]]'''
Forest Goblin Comanche Warrior. Empire wiped out his tribe, so he wants to push them out of the spider lands.

* '''[[Eeza Ugezod's Mother Crushers|Eeza Ugezod]]'''
Black Orc WAAAGH!less Boss from much older Warhammer lore, his Mother Crushers tribe is the single most hated and feared group of greenskins in the Warhammer world not due to scope of destruction or size of horde, but simply because he's managed to make his small group of elite warriors survive and wipe out enemy armies for a ludicrously long 42 years without a defeat. One of the strangest groups of Orcs, who use complex tactics as well as discipline and reading/writing.

* '''[[Grumlok and Gazbag]]'''
Asexual life partners of dubious canonicity from [[Warhammer Online]]. Semi-witting willing pawns of [[Malekith]] via their magic amulets alongside a Chaos invasion of the Empire, they united the Badlands greenskins to wipe out the Dwarfs in Malekith's plan to take Ulthuan. Grumlok is a Black Orc, Gazbag is a Night Goblin, they share one model due to their inseperable nature.

===Generic Characters===

* '''Orc Warboss:'''
** A very big and very nasty git among big and nasty gitz. Armed to the teef and clad in plate and chainmail, this guy is baaaad news, because on his tail are there sure to be hordes upon hordes of Orcs, Goblins and all manner of other creatures, ready to follow their Warboss to the biggest fight, and the juiciest loot.
* '''Savage Orc Warboss:'''

* '''Black Orc Warboss:'''

* '''Goblin Warboss:'''

* '''Night Goblin Warboss:'''

* '''Orc Great Shaman:'''

* '''Savage Orc Great Shaman:'''

* '''Goblin Great Shaman:'''

* '''Night Goblin Great Shaman:'''

* '''Orc Big Boss:'''

* '''Savage Orc Big Boss:'''

* '''Black Orc Big Boss:'''

* '''Goblin Big Boss:'''

* '''Night Goblin Big Boss:'''

* '''Orc Shaman:'''

* '''Savage Orc Shaman:'''

* '''Goblin Shaman:'''

* '''Night Goblin Shaman:'''

===Mounts===

* '''Giant Spider:'''

* '''Giant Wolf:'''

* '''Gigantic Spider:'''

* '''Great Cave Squig:'''

* '''War Boar:'''

* '''Wyvern:'''

===Core===

* '''Orc Boyz:'''
Do you really need this explained to you? They're fantasy orcs.

* '''Orc Arrer Boyz:'''
The weirdos of the Fantasy greenskin world. Comparable to the Blood Axes of 40k, these orcs fixate on the strange practice of ballistics and archery. Since the concept of Dakka is still alien and mostly delegated to goblins, arrer boyz don't seem to command a lot of respect from both the player base or their orcy brethren. Still, being shooty is appreciated and most greenskins can appreciate the larfable sight of a stuntie turned into a pinchushion.

* '''Savage Orcs:'''
While most Orc groups loot to their hearts content when they have the option to do so, and Black Orcs are capable of making new and exclusively Orcish gear, Savage Orcs refuse to advance in culture.
Still living in the state they did when they were first noticed by the Old Ones, Savage Orcs are as dumb as can be. They barely have a language, barely have capacity for learning, and barely have any sort of gear barring teeth, bones, and sticks with mud. They were simple scraps of leather and grass if anything at all. While they have tales surpassing the normal Orcish attention span going back throughout Orcish history, they are just as tied to fights (and hunting) as one would expect. They cling to these stories as the example by which all Orcs should live by, and have a great deal of hate for their modernized cousins.

So how do Orcs succeed? The same way they do in 40k. Savage Orcs are capable of the same feat of believing in something hard enough that it happens or works. The most complex part of their culture is their system of warpaints, which produces the belief that makes the results true. Blue spikes on the chest protect from arrows, and the Orc's skin cannot be pierced with them. A drawing of an eye on the stomach make them a conduit for [[Gork]] and [[Mork]] (or Mork and Gork?)'s will, and suddenly you have a level 1 Wizard. As a result, much of Savage Orcish communication (even verbal, as drawing accompanies it) is done in pictographs. Savage Orcs have an amazing capacity for abstract representations in this regard, translating the Elvish script on [[Waystone|Waystones]] before the defacing of them begins.
In addition, the capacity for planning and strategy in the minds of modern Orcs is replaced by absolute savagery unknown to even Khornate berserkers as Orcs tear across the battlefield faster than Cheetahs and stronger than Ogres.

Savage Orcs often employ logs with a giant stone tip at the end carried by two Orcs as a giant spear. In ages past, the Orcs used these to hunt large prey and to bring down Lizardmen who hunted them. As a result, Savage Orcs still do this regardless of whether it is useful or not.
Shrunken heads, fetish totems, and various other things that not even Elves and Empire Wizards can understand the workings of are carried by their leaders.

tl;dr Savage Orcs are Warhammer Dwarf Orcs.

* '''Goblins:'''

* '''Goblin Wolf Riders:'''

* '''Night Goblins:'''
Like normal goblins, except they're bat-fuck crazy. Imagine normal goblins, but slightly smarter, loads more crazy, and constantly hopped up on 'shrooms. They hate going outside, so they share characteristics with your typical fa/tg/uy in that way. They typically refuse to leave their caves except at night, where they raid nearby settlements. They don't just hate the sun, it may actually burn their skin so severely that they could die from being exposed for to long. To prevent burning up immediately every time you need to leave the cave to get the mail or something, night goblins wear black, or sometimes drab grey, robes.

Not as cowardly as your typical goblin, they're actually smart enough to a point where entire tribes of both orcs and goblins may be lead by a single night goblin. Problem is, they're horrifically paranoid, to the point where they feel everyone's out to get them (to be honest, they have a point [an orc spear point to their ribs]). At they're very best, night goblins are completely insane, and their "inventions" tend to be little more than "strap a squig to it and poke it a lot". One famous night goblin "innovation" was to get their craziest gobbos, hop them up on loads of drugs, and give them a huge metal ball. When the time is right, they fling them towards the enemy, run like hell, and hope to Gork (or possibly Mork) that he doesn't follow them.

Living in caves, night goblins are absolutely hated by the dorfs, especially since Skarsnik kind of rules the dorfs' old fortress at Karaz Eight-Peaks. The dwarfs have declared night goblins (like all greenskins) as eternal enemies of all dwarf-kind. For some reason, night goblins also hate skaven, probably because they argue over who gets to live in the shit-and-corpse-filled ruins of dwarven society. The feeling is completely mutual on the ratmens' end.

* '''Forest Goblin Spider Riders:'''
In older editions forest goblins were the weedy jungle counterpart of the more prolific savage orcs. They're still around nowadays but since they're basically just goblins that prance around in Village People tier parody costumes of Native Americans their presence in the game is now just cut down to their spider riding aspect. Where night goblins have mushrooms and squigs and regular goblins have being beaten up by orcs, forest goblins have spiders. Forest goblins use them for mounts, shrines, and in the case of shaman, peyote that bites.

===Special===

* '''Black Orcs:'''
Black Orcs are Orcs who were kept as slaves. Yes, Games Workshop went there.
More specifically, Black Orcs were enslaved long ago by the [[Chaos Dwarfs]] who bred them (how is unclear, given they no longer undergo sexual reproduction, presumably it involved feeding them mutagens, letting orcs spore under controlled conditions, culling those which did not meet the desired criteria and repeating the process with those that did) to be large and hulking, while also obedient. This backfired as the Orcs were much less prone to infighting ("much less" rather than "never" mind you) and capable of learning which resulted in highly effective slave rebellions. Black Orcs left the region of the Chaos Dwarfs and spread out, coming into contact/conflict with both [[Ogre Kingdoms|Ogres]] and their other kin, eventually reaching even the Empire.

Black Orcs are very perculiar compared to all other forms of greenskin. Black Orcs don't simply loot everything, but actually create new things using raw materials and salvage. Beyond that, they are actually capable of maintaining what they create or loot. They are somewhat less prone to the superstitions of the other breeds of Orc, but even without blue paint and a lucky Dwarf foot are much tougher and more skilled than your average Boy or Savage Orc. Most other kinds of Orcs consider them highly useful to have around, but generally not Orcy and worthy of scorn for their aberrant ways. Of course the strong gear, strong bodies, and slightly stronger minds ensure the Black Orcs always end up at the top of the leadership rungs of whatever mob or WAAAGH! they end up a part of. Pretty much they're the warhammer version of the Uruk Hai.

* '''Orc Boar Boyz:'''

* '''Savage Orc Boar Boyz:'''
Savage Orcs keep the company of large packs of wild boars, who share their food and follow the Orc tribes wherever they go. Said boars are not the boars of Earth, but rather horse-sized monsters with skin like tanned leather. The boars roam freely, as the Savage Orcs believe they are a gift from their gods and are kindred spirits. Before battle, any Orc wishing to ride a boar must (by himself) catch and headbutt into unconsciousness one of the pack. He and his bros will paint the boar, ritually scar, and adorn the boar as they see fit. When it awakens, it finds itself mounted by an Orc foaming at the mouth and often carrying one weapon in each hand swinging at anything nearby.

* '''Orc Boar Chariot:'''

* '''Goblin Wolf Chariot:'''

* '''Goblin Spear Chukka:'''

* '''Night Goblin Squig Hoppers:'''
Completely fucking bonkers by night goblin standards, which is honestly saying something. Basically a bunch of wily squig herders who decided it would be an absolutely brilliant idea to grab onto angry squigs and ride them full-speed towards the nearest enemies.

* '''Night Goblin Squig Herd:'''
Squigs are very common in night goblin society, mostly because they breed them for everyone else. Snce squigs are mostly nothing more than very pissed off mouths with legs, night goblins seem to have the bright idea that they should take the toothiest squigs, bring them to the battlefield, and poke them repeatedly until they start attacking either the enemy, or the night goblins themselves.

On occasion, the most fungus-filled caverns may attract a great cave squig, which some night goblin warbosses will then attempt to tame and use as mounts. They're actually quite effective, if not completely fine with murdering literally everything in their path, including the warboss' tribe.
* '''Snotlings:'''

* '''Trolls:'''

===Rare===

* '''Goblin Rock Lobber:'''

* '''Doom Diver Catapult:'''

* '''Snotling Pump Wagon:'''

* '''Arachnarok Spider:'''
An Arachnophobes Worst Nightmare. It is a Giant monster spider ridden by Forest Goblins. One of the best Units the Orcs and Goblins can use.

* '''Mangler Squigs:'''

* '''Stone Trolls:'''

* '''River Trolls:'''

* '''Giant:'''
Long ago, Giants lived on the tops of mountains in an area roughly analogous to the Himalayas of our world. They were left there by the [[Old Ones]], who had created them as a race dear to their hearts (like the High Elves) who were nonetheless not the perfect living weapons to use to fight Chaos. They were gifted by many Old One devices, magics, and lessons which guided their race into a utopia of families living in distant isolated castles.
Then the race created just after them, half-formed and dumb as rocks stuck in mud, came. [[Ogre Kingdoms|Ogres]] were creatures which possessed little save their massive hunger, and having been driven out of their homeland of the Mongolian Steppes by the arrival of the [[Great Maw]] they were looking for a new place to settle.
Ogres reproduced as fast as men, with the durability of Dwarfs, and came in MASSIVE numbers. Upon meeting an infinitely wiser race of peaceful beings so tall they couldn't see their faces, the Ogres immediately attacked with the intention of eating every single scrap and bone of every man woman and child of the Giants they could find.
After many years, the Ogres finally accomplished their goal; the few remaining Giants had managed to mount their castles upon clouds and fled the world of mortals. After realizing there was no food to be found, the Ogres then moved on westwards again.

But not all Giants had been wiped out. Some during the years of fates worse than death had fled northwards and westwards. The Giants who survived lived in small communities, with each generation hearing less and less of the tales of their ancestors until the modern day Giants who are barely more intelligent than Orcs and have many of the same behaviors (mainly consumption of whatever they can find whenever they can find it) of Ogres. Most stick to themselves, destroying human villages and moving on. But some find themselves captured by the servants of Chaos and are goaded into doing the bidding of the [[Beastmen]]. Still others are recruited eagerly by greenskins, who show them a degree of respect (afterall, they ARE the biggest gits around!) that no other races affords them.
Giants living among greenskins have good lives, getting intellectual stimulation from conversing with the Orcs and Goblins (who are unusually talkative when asked questions by a creature strong enough to crush a boulder to pebbles within their same tribe) and any captives the Orcs and Goblins take. They are never without food as any time the greenskins fight (including amongst each other) there are ample corpses around which the greenskins have only a passing interest in.

Giants are VERY fond of alcohol. While greenskins have little to no interest in it, most are willing to brew it to secure the services of the Giant. Some Goblins however are clever enough to realize that it is a successful recruiting tool as well.

Giants often adorn themselves in things too large to be of use to their smaller allies, like the parts from Steam Tanks or the bones of things like Dragons.

==Misc Fluff==
Racial relations are as follows:
*Dwarfs AKA Stuntiez are being driven back by the Goblins, peak by peak and fortress by fortress. Dwarfs have begun to adapt technology for the upper hand in the long-standing war and have received aid from both elf and human, it may be far too little far too late. If derr's anyfing dem stunties is good at, iz making fine flash choppas an' bluddy great boom barrelz. Wez gotta fights an' loots from em more! 
*Ogres make good fights. Also good comrades for the greenskins who can pay them. Dey iz real big an' ard, like da bossez an' skarboyz. Only reesun we ain't buddiez iz dey aint green, an' dey likez eatin' more dan fightin'.
*Dark Elves make use of greenskins as pawns, sometimes rewarding them. Greenskins are usually outsmarted by the more clever Dark Elves into fighting another group. Usually... Dey giv' us loot and shows us where a gud fight is... an' sumtimez we fight 'em afta dat battle! Dese pointy 'eads iz fun ta fight cos dey iz kunnin', spiky, got lotsa big beasts an' likez fightin' as much as we do. 
*Wood Elves drive them back from Athel Loren whenever possible. Greenskins continually try to cross it to reach Bretonnia or the Empire for fights. Sneaky pointy 'ead gitz dat use lotsa arrers an' hide in trees. But sumtimez da trees fight too, an' da wood's gud fer chariots, rock lobbas spear chukkas. 
*High Elves have earned the respect of greenskins the world over by, after the invasion of his homeland by Grom the Paunch, Eltharion the Grim attempted to wipe out the greenskin race using fire magic and made better headway than any other race in history. He has retreated home, relying on the reputation he has earned to inspire WAAAGH!s to come to him and dwindle against the natural and magical defenses until they are so diminished his forces can finish them off once and for all. It seems that he's been successful at least in getting the word out. Dese shiny pointy 'eads give very good fightz, but dey'z dangerous. Boyz don' spawn afta fightz wiv dem, must be sum pointy 'ead magic. Gobbos fear all pointy 'eads fer sum reason, includin' da sneaky and kunnin' ones. 
*The Empire are easy pickings, not bad for fights. 'Umiez iz weak and deserve ta get krumped. Sometimez dey put up gud fights, but only if dey'z got boom barrelz, magic or dem fancy stunty-made-choppas. 
*Bretonnia is better fights. Dey may be weak 'umiez, but da horsey-boys iz fast an' love ta fight at choppa range. Dey also bringz bluddy big rock lobbaz. 
*Lizardmen are even better fights than that. Da big lizards are killy, da really big lizards are dead killy and dey got good loot hidden in dem pyramid-fings. Too bad deyz so rare. 
*Vampires are better fights than Bretonnia and close to Lizardmen, but have less loot. Dem blood-drinkaz iz gud fights. Lotsa strange boyz, krump one and sumtimz 'e getz back up, sumz just bonez and sumz ghosty-fings dat choppa's can't chop. 
*Tomb Kings are good fights and have great loot! Da mummiez is fun ta fight and dey have sum of da best loot. Dere big, walkin' statue fings are loot an' fight pu' tagether! But dey iz hard ta find an' dere's nuffink ta eat or drink when ya do. 
*Warriors of Chaos are glorious fights! Dey iz spiky, dead 'ard an' like fightin' as much as we do! Especially da red ones wiv skullz. Sometimes dey have dem strange gits wiv 'em, which means weirder fightz. 
*Daemons are strange gits that come from swirly magic portals some places. Shamans can bring them in intentionally when fights are scarce.
*Beastmen are good fights, and better food.
*Skaven are sneaky gits, and make for poor fights. But there's a lot of fighting to be done and they make for good eats. Dem rats' worse dan gobbos an' dey got weird, glowy boom barrelz. Dere's lotz n' lotz of 'em, so lotz'a fightin' and gud eatin'. 

==Gallery==

<gallery>
Image:Orc_and_Goblin_Afternoon_Nap.png|Living high on the WAAAGH can be tiring.
Image:22.jpg|Dat's finkin' wiff' mehjick!
Image:Stuntiez.jpg|Da proppa' use of Stuntiez.
Image:Squig.png|This is a cake. Made for the launch of [[Warhammer Online]], made by those guys who had a cake show on Food Network on an actual episode until it got canceled. Suck it, Orks.
Image:Night Goblins.jpg|Seeing [[Tzeentch]] would drive these guys sane. Seriously, not an exaggeration.
Image:1304378410814.jpg|Let'z go, let'z go, WAAAGH! WAAAGH! WAAAGH!

</gallery>

==See Also==

* [[Warhammer/Tactics/8th_Edition/Orcs_&_Goblins|Tactics/Orcs and Goblins]]

==References==

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]
[[Category:Orcs & Goblins]]

Baneblade

2017-10-14T19:01:29Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Other Imperial Models */

[[File:4DdD2uO.jpg|right|500px|thumb|A cutaway view, which really shows that Gee Dubs has never hired an engineer in their entire existence. Where the fuck is the recoiling mechanism going to go?]]
{{Topquote|IT IS THE '''BEEEEEINNNBLEEEEHHDDDEEEE'''!|[[Apollo_Diomedes|Captain Diomedes]] of the [[Blood Ravens]].}}

The '''Baneblade''' is a big fucking [[Imperium of Man|Imperial]] tank in the Warhammer 40,000 universe, known generally for an impressive arsenal (OF GUNS), and [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs|disappearing en masse]]. Besides ''looking'' totally kickass, it stomps a lot of ass too. It is supposedly one of the oldest and largest tank designs used by the Imperium, despite that it's actually medium-sized according to the old Epic fluff. Then again, the "big" tanks in Epic were closer to moving, gun-mounting cathedrals. This is an actual tank. A manly tank. ''The'' manly tank. If only the Mechanicus had looked at the Battle Cannon, looked at the Baneblade, and scaled-down the Baneblade design and slapped on single-barrel heavy weapons instead of twin-linked and a long-barreled Battle Cannon.

==Origins==
The Baneblade first appeared in the ''Space Marine'' edition of [[Epic]], where it was the Imperial Guard's standard super-heavy tank (it says a lot about the universe that there's such a thing as a "standard" one). This version was armed with a turret-mounted Battle Cannon (with the same stats as the one on the [[Leman Russ Battle Tank]], despite the turret being the ''size'' of a Leman Russ), two Lascannons, and a bunch of dice worth of "Bolters" to deal with swarms. Despite obviously having a big gun on the lower hull, there was no representation of it in the tank's rules. Fluff described the hull as the size of a city block.

Being a standard version, there were variants at that point, and only three:

* The '''Stormhammer''' was effectively a moving fortress, and the precise armament is hard to say given the odd way the game treated "Bolters;" anything from an officer's [[Bolt Pistol]]s to ''both'' a Leman Russ' [[Heavy Bolter]]s was one attack die with the same stats. This means this particular monster might have up to 24 Heavy Bolters (or alternately 12 bolt pistols) in addition to two turrets with two battle cannons each. Basically, you park it in a place and then forget about that place, since it is now Defended.
* The '''Shadowsword''' was one of two Titan-killing variants, armed with two [[Lascannons]] and some "Bolters" like the Baneblade, but with the rear hull built up to mount a fixed Volcano Cannon, a giant laser weapon normally mounted on Titans.
* The '''Stormblade''' was a second variant of the fixed-weapon hull, and proof of how incredibly fucking HUEG the old Epic fluff made the Baneblade chassis; no fruity Lascannons for this one, the sponson weapons were a rack of missiles and a fucking ''[[Battle Cannon]]''. Your main gun was a Titan-grade Plasma Blastgun with a Hellion anti-Titan missile slung on the top. Potential drivers had to produce written proof that they were [[meme|bad enough dudes]] [[/v/|to save the President]] before they'd even be considered. [[Forge World]] makes a Stormblade, but it just sits there (eating an entire sack of dicks) because it knows it will never be cool enough to have a sponson-mounted Battle Cannon.
The Chaos legions have their own version called the '''Decimator''', which is, in fact, an early pre-production model super-heavy tank that would later lead to the development of the Baneblade. It has replaced its bolters with lots and lots of Reaper Autocannons, resulting in it being far nastier against medium armor, though its main cannon is not turreted, meaning the entire tank has to turn to fire it.

==Design==
[[File:Baneblade_Variants.jpg|400px|right|thumb|Just 13 more spaces to fill.]]
Here are a few fun facts about the mighty Baneblade:

*At the time of the [[Great Crusade]], there used to be ''entire <s>companies</s> battalions'' of Baneblades (it was described as being the "mainstay" of the Imperial Army). Nowadays, regiments with [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs|anywhere near a hundred Baneblades]] are virtually unheard of, and any Imperial Guard force can count itself lucky to have just one in their possession. If a Baneblade gets lost in combat, chances are that the Mechanicus will throw a bitchfit and pull out all stops to recover the hulk. This was the case seven years before the Third Armageddon War, when an entire Imperial Guard Army Group of approximately 30,000 men were deployed to Golgotha to retrieve Yarrick's Fortress of Arrogance and a bit of STC teleporter tech (although guard didn't know about that last part). From two tank battalions, lead by a Shadowsword tank called Angel of the Apocalypse and supported with a full mechanized battalion of elite Kasrkin Storm Troopers, only a pair of tanks and couple of hundred men survived. <del>Rather justified </del>. It was not and that is the point of the novel Gunheads that describes the sorry ordeal. They traded an elite tank force that was desperately needed in Armageddon for Yarrick's precious relic so that some smug general could score some political points. Worse than that, the Baneblade was only a carrot to get the AdMech some meatshields for their Xenos Teleporter Stealing Fun Time. Repairing a Baneblade is easier than making a new one, but trading a full tank army for one is not worth it. This seems to be a constant trope in 40K - sending a large amount of bodies to retrieve one body. See "squads of Space Marines fighting and dying to retrieve the body of an already-dead comrade so their geneseed can be retrieved, even though dozens of other Marines are dying at the same time". Ehhhh, that is questionable. The epilogue really seems to suggest that the inspiration of the Fortress of Arrogance was enough to have a major if non-quantitative effect that two tank battalions and a full mechanized Kasrkin battalion could not have ultimately contributed to the pivotal battle that led Ghazghkull to leave Armageddon. TL;DR, your mileage may vary.
* Production of Baneblades continues into the 41st Millennium. Although the STC has been shared with a select few of the countless forgeworlds in the Imperium, the majority of Baneblades still come from Martian forges. As a result, the [[Macharius Heavy Tank]] was re-discovered/developed explicitly for armored regiments that needed something meaner than a [[Leman Russ Battle Tank]] but needed scientific notation to denote their place on the Baneblade delivery list.

If you need some kind of analogy to more fully appreciate the awe-inspiring/pants-browning nature of Baneblades and their variants, then consider that a vanilla Baneblade is basically an up-armored WWII-era destroyer on treads with a near impossibly good suspension, weight to power ratio, ground pressure ratio, a power plant that will gladly burn any fuel, an advanced fire control suite and yet still is more heart-stopping better/terrifying than that. Or a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landkreuzer_P._1000_Ratte Landkreuzer P.1000 Ratte] that actually worked except you know with 25mm auto-cannons and particle beam "Laser" anti-tank weapons. Either way you think of it, it is an awe-inspiring/terror-inducing weapon.

Also one of the few imperial guard tanks that don't look like they refitted something from the first world war.

==Warhammer 40,000==
Scratch-built Baneblade models with homebrew (read: unfair) rules have been kicking around since roughly ten minutes after it was introduced in Epic, but it wasn't until [[Forge World]] was founded that [[Games Workshop]] ever considered releasing an official model. The Baneblade then became available as a plastic kit from GW itself, along with a six-option kit for the fixed-hull variants. With the [[Warhammer 40,000 6th edition|sixth edition]] re-release of [[Apocalypse]], GW redid the kit again to make all eight of their official variants listed below.

There are currently ten official variants, with the names being a nightmarish jumble of "Bane," "Sword," "Storm," "Shadow," "Blade" and "Hammer" to the point it's difficult remembering which is which. Though the naming conventions may have an in-fluff excuse for their complexity, since apparently since Baneblade and Shadowsword tanks are in such high demand that unscrupulous Forgeworlds without the correct know-how to build them would bodge together a variant "counterfeit" tank and hand them off to unsuspecting Imperial Guard regiments, who are none the wiser when they get "Baneswords" or "Stormblades" instead of what they actually asked for.

===Core Eight===
{|border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="margin: 1em;"
|-
| [[File:Marsbaneblade.jpg|thumb|The OG tank itself.]] || '''Baneblade''' The modern Baneblade mounts what's known as a "[[Baneblade Cannon]]" (representing belated recognition that the thing in the turret is really huge and so probably not a Battle Cannon) with a coaxial Autocannon, the same two Lascannons it always had, two Twin-linked Heavy Bolters in each sponson and another two on the hull front, and a [[Demolisher Cannon]] where the Mysterious Not-A-Weapon was once mounted. This leads to the well-known [[Dawn of War|ELEVEN BARRELS OF HELL]], though the vehicle has options for two more sponsons to be mounted (each with another Lascannon and Twin-linked Heavy Bolter) plus a pintle mounted heavy stubber, which raises the bar to eighteen. This option can only be taken on the GW plastic kit, as the old Forge World models were shorter, sillier-looking, and had no place for them. These were given their own pattern in the fluff, and thrust upon an unsuspecting Forge World (the ''other'' kind) to make and produce for all eternity. There are two patterns of the Baneblade, the Mars and Lucius pattern. [[Skub|Debates rage on what the difference and advantage between the two and which pattern is better.]] Whatever is the case the Baneblade excels in its job at being adaptable to different environments.
|-
| [[File:Banehammer.jpg|thumb|You ever wonder where that frequent tremble stumbles around? Now you know.]] || '''Banehammer''' The Banehammer fields the [[Tremor Cannon]] in a forward-set casement, a weapon that can turn a huge segment of the battlefield into a patch of flying rubble, slowing down the enemy long enough for the rest of the army to destroy them. It can also carry 25 soldiers, and has enough room in the rear deck to let ten of them stand outside and fire. Like all of the variants of the Baneblade, the Banehammer came into being as the solution to a specific tactical need. Like its counterpart tank the Stormlord, it is a dedicated line-breaker, designed to deal with large waves of infantry. Where the Stormlord is exceptionally effective against Orks, the Banehammer is especially effective against the horrendously fast-moving Tyranid swarms and their notoriously resiliant larger bio-forms. The Tremor Cannon that replaces the original Volcano Cannon is a potent weapon adapted from a [[Squat]] design: it fires large self-propelled rockets with an incredibly hard tip which are designed to burrow themselves a set distance into the ground before exploding. The underground detonation creates a powerful shockwave much larger than the shell's explosion, which will impede the progress of any unit caught within it. Infantry will be thrown down and shrouded in dirt, while tanks will become bogged down and trapped by the shifting soil. While the Tremor Cannon shell itself does relatively little damage, it is the side effect of the underground explosion that is invaluable, pinning the opponent in place and making him vulnerable to sustained bombardment by the other artillery elements of the Imperial Guard. Additionally, since the Tremor Cannon is much smaller than the original Volcano Cannon, the Banehammer possesses a large empty hold, which can be used to either transport a small platoon of Imperial Guardsmen, or house a cramped but fully functional headquarters equipped with powerful Vox-casters and tactical arrays from which the officer in charge can lead his troops.
|-
| [[File:Banesword.jpg|thumb|Your fortifications immediately pulls a critical existence failure when this guy is around.]] || '''Banesword''' The Banesword is a siege tank and one of the most recent derivation from the (in)famous Shadowsword: its [[Quake Cannon]] can be fired as a barrage weapon at a massive range to destroy up to 15' away, use this to troll the [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles|WFB]] players on the next table. In all seriousness, The power of the Quake Cannon, combined with the armour of a super-heavy, has established the Banesword as the pinnacle of Imperial siegecraft. Many Imperial commanders would be willing to exchange two regiments for a single Banesword; such is the reputation of this tank. Indeed, Imperial combat doctrine holds an honoured place for the Banesword. It is unknown what the [[Iron Warriors]] would think of this, although they will most likely find this tank to be quite convenient in their specialty. Like the Basilisk, the Banesword's place on the battlefield is in the rear areas, obliterating enemy fortifications with long range fire. Like the [[Basilisk Artillery Gun|Basilisk,]] the Banesword can also be pressed into the frontlines. The Banesword's armoured mass and secondary armament of three sets of twin-linked Heavy Bolters and two Lascannons allow it to perform much more efficiently than a battery of Basilisks when fielded in this way. The Banesword dispenses with the most hampering disadvantage of the Shadowsword, namely having to disengage its engine before firing. However, like all super-heavy tanks based on the Baneblade chassis, it suffers from poor top speed and maneuverability, and the Quake Cannon's fixed setting requires the Banesword to be bodily aimed at its intended target. Additionally, the Quake Cannon is inefficient against enemy [[Titan]]s, for unlike the Lance beam from a Volcano Cannon, or the massive plasma burst from a Plasma Blastgun, the massive shell will be stopped by any remaining Void Shield, requiring the target's shields to be taken down before the shot is taken with any hope of success.
|-
| [[File:Doomhammer.jpg|thumb|Its like a Shadowsword on rental.]] || '''Doomhammer''' The Doomhammer is a tank-killer. With a modest 5" blast but stats befitting a tank hunter, the [[Magma Cannon]] can reduce all but the largest of titans to scrap. While the magma cannon's range or area of effect are not the equal of the Shadowsword's volcano cannon, it can still deal a death blow to unwary players thinking they are all hotshots for having a Titan on the field. Since shells did not have to be carried and the retrofits did not take up too much space, it can also carry 25 soldiers, and has enough room in the rear deck to let ten of them stand outside and fire. The Doomhammer was first designed as a field conversion of a Banehammer tank during the 1000 year-long siege of the Renegade Forge World of Odana. By replacing the Banehammer's Tremor Cannon with a Magma Cannon the tank gained the ability to severely damage or outright destroy vast swathes of enemy vehicles. During the siege, armoured vehicle attrition rates outstripped supply and thus Imperial commanders had to use replacements for their lost Shadowswords. In a way, you can think of the Doomhammer as the 'shotgun' of the Titan-killing Baneblades as it lacks the overall oomph, it makes up for the aforementioned troop transport and its ability to cover a decent amount of land into molten lava.
|-
| [[File:Hellhammer tank.jpg|thumb|Its like a Baneblade with small penis syndrome.]] || '''Hellhammer''' The '''Hellhammer''' has the same profile as the Baneblade -- it doesn't have a big armored casement like the others, but rather the same comically-small pivoting turret. It uses the [[Hellhammer Cannon]], which is shorter, but no less deadly than the Baneblade Cannon, and strikes harder but on a smaller area, giving exactly zero fucks about the cover in between. Basically, if you shoot it at a unit, and that unit is not a superheavy, you have killed that unit. And any sense of friendship you may have had with your opponent. The Hellhammer was built to provide short-ranged fire support in difficult conditions (like city fights), hence why the Hellhammer Cannon is used and why it has such comically short turret. You don't want your tank get stuck trying to cross a T-Junction due to "Overcompensation-Syndrome" now do you? The Hellhammer's primary powerplant is a Phaeton pattern 110 square kilo-cubits Adaptable Thermic Combuster, supported by a Gravis pattern Thaumic Resonance Crystal Generation Unit. Besides the standard Smoke Launchers and Searchlight it can be adapted to mount a Hunter-Killer Missile and/or a pintle-mounted Heavy Stubber/Storm Bolter. Some Hellhammers will replace the side sponsons with extra armour or even add two additional side sponsons, each armed with a Lascannon and twin-linked Heavy Flamers.
|-
| [[File:Shadowsword2.jpg|thumb|The bane of Titans everywhere.]] || '''Shadowsword''' The Shadowsword is a [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|titan]]-killer. With a D-strength [[Volcano Cannon]]. It is considered the sister-tank to the Baneblade and ''EVERYTHING'' else outside the two of them are consider cheap knock-off wannabe tanks. Some Forgeworlds simply can't make Volcano Cannons or the complicated targeting computers intended to go with them, so they mount different guns and are sold off to Imperial Guard regiments in place of Shadowswords to fill requisitions. You'll find several variants listed below. "Real" Shadowswords are registered on Mars as soon as they get manufactured, and the Adeptus Mechanicum keeps a paranoid level of attention regarding their wherabouts so they know where they are at all times. Even amongst "dedicated" Shadowsword tanks, there seems to be very little rules difference for telling genuine vehicles apart from counterfeit ones on the tabletop; one might assume that the targeting computer sponsons ''(granting +1 BS)'' indicate a authentic Mars registered vehicle. Either way; the Shadowsword has a very good chance of bringing down even the biggest of titans. This guy is your friend. It will be there for you when something absolutely ''must'' die and must die ''now''. GW and Forgeworld both make kits for these -- the GW kit can make seven other tanks, but FW's kit has the targeters, a bigger engine and a travel mount for the cannon to rest on.
|-
| [[File:StormLord.jpg|thumb|[[MOAR DAKKA|DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA]]!]] || '''Stormlord''' The '''Stormlord''' is designed with but one purpose: to waste [[MEQ]]s. With the most dakka seen in Imperial armies (hell, ANYWHERE) in the form of a [[Vulcan Mega-Bolter]] (that can fire ''twice'' if the tank sits still), the ability to have up to 20 of its 40 passengers fire from its fighting platform and the option to have four lascannons, this tank WILL END enemy infantry! Unfortunately it just ''HAD'' to share the same turret mount as the Shadowsword, making it impossible for the Stormlord to turn its Vulcan Mega-Bolter around without turning the entire tank around. [[Derp|Ironically this makes it a pain in the ass when fighting in close and narrow environments like urban areas, places where the Stormlord is meant to shine the best.]] [[Herp|Seriously, try and do a parallel parking with this monster when trying to aim at some scrubs hiding behind a concrete wall.]] Despite the unfortunate implications, this is still probably one of the best super-heavy tanks in the game due to the amount of fire power that you get. 30 s6 ap3 shots at 60" range, 9 s5 ap4 shots at 36" range (twin linked) and 2 s9 ap2 shots at 48" range. Then you get 20 models shooting out of the top. Though you wonder how the passengers fit without taking up room for extra ammo...
|-
| [[File:Stormsword.jpg|thumb|The Guard miraculously avoided a war with the AdMech over this tank.]] || '''Stormsword''' Originally built from salvaged Shadowsword or Stormblade tanks, because those Volcano Cannons and Plasma Blastguns are blisteringly difficult to manufacture, the Imperial Guard just put wide-bore Cannons on the hulls and gave them spare Hellhammer Shells to fire. Needless to say these [[Heresy|"unsanctioned" modifications]] got the Mechanicum's collective jimmies rustled up. But because the vehicles were still good at what they did, the Imperial Guard commanders kept the vehicles listed on the roster in spite of what anyone else was thinking. Yet, in an uncharacteristically grown-up move, the Mechanicum actually capitulated on the matter and started making Stormswords themselves, upgrading the "Hellhammer Cannons" with dedicated "Stormsword Cannons" which have much the same range and effect, but a bigger blast radius. The '''Stormsword''' excels at city fighting. It is able to turn entire building blocks to dust with a single shot. The tank's main weakness is the short range on its [[Stormsword Cannon]] and lack of a hull-mounted Demolisher cannon.
|}

====On the Tabletop====
The Baneblade and its variants are all statted out in full in the recent ''Codex: Astra Militarum''. The premier superheavy tank of the Imperial Guard, the Baneblade tanks make for a formidable base to build an army around and a source of a lot of heavy weapons fire. All Baneblades have the same statline: at T8, W26 and a 3+ save they're more than able to soak up quite a lot of the fire they will inevitably attract. And while its BS4+ doesn't seem like a lot, thanks to its Steel Behemoth rule it can fire all of its Heavy Weapons (which is everything it has except its Storm Bolter, which as a Rapid Fire weapon isn't affected by this anyway), as well as fire and charge on the same turn it Fell Back. And thanks to 9 attacks at S9 AP-2 DD3 it can deal a surprising amount of damage, but don't send it into a fight against things like [[Terminator]]s. The Baneblade starts to deteriorate at half wounds, losing three of its 10" movement, its BS goes down by one and it loses 3 attacks. But because it's so tough, it can take quite a beating before being diminished as long as your opponent doesn't have Lords of War on the battlefield as well.

At 390 points for most of the variants with a maximum of 430 for the Stormlord, Baneblades are at a base level pretty affordable. They all get different main weapons, and all of them have a pair of Heavy Bolters as well. The Baneblade and Hellhammer get an additional [[Autocannon]] and [[Demolisher Cannon]], and the Hellhammer also has a [[Lasgun]] for some reason. All of them can take either one or two pairs of sponsons, each equipped with a [[Lascannon]] and either two [[Heavy Bolter]]s or two [[Heavy Flamer]]s. Note that you can mix and match as you see fit: if you have only one pair you can pick one with a Heavy Bolter and the other with a Heavy Flamer. Sponsons cost 34 for the Heavy Bolter and 50 for the Heavy Flamer. The points really add up though: 68 for a pair and 136 for a full set of Heavy Bolters, and 100 and 200 for the Heavy Flamers. But when you look at the firepower you know you've got the good stuff. Four Heavy Flamers net you 8D6 S5 AP-1 D1 shots that auto-hit, while the four double Heavy Bolters, paired with the standard one, nets you 30 S5 AP-1 D1 shots at 36" range. And don't forget the 4 S9 AP-3 DD6 shots from the four Lascannons. Note that the Heavy Bolter option is 20 points cheaper than an equally-equipped [[Heavy Weapons Squad]]. The Heavy Flamers are expensive, but other tanks are bound to a maximum of 3 for a comparative higher price tag (aka the tank they're on). The Baneblade can also take a pintle-mounted [[Heavy Stubber]] or [[Storm Bolter]], and a [[Hunter-Killer Missile]] for good measure. The Heavy Stubber is the superior option (albeit twice as expensive at 4 compared to the SB's 2) most of the time: only when decked out with Heavy Flamers or when facing enemies that charge the tank the Storm Bolter is superior. The Hunter-Killer Missile is neat, but with the massive arsenal the tank's lugging around it's not necessary. Because of its massive array of weapons charging one is a very bad idea: even when only hitting on sixes the sheer volume of fire will mean that you'll get hit.

{|border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 align=right style="margin: 1em;"
|-
! Tank || Name || Range || Type || S || AP || D
|-
| Baneblade || Baneblade Cannon || 72" || Heavy 3D6 || 9 || -3 || 3
|-
| Banehammer || Tremor Cannon || 60" || Heavy 3D6 || 8 || -2 || 3
|-
| Banesword || Quake Cannon || 140" || Heavy 2D6 || 14 || -4 || D6
|-
| Doomhammer || Magma Cannon || 60" || Heavy 2D6 || 10 || -5 || D6
|-
| Hellhammer || Hellhammer Cannon || 36" || Heavy 3D6 || 10 || -4 || 3
|-
| Shadowsword || Volcano Cannon || 120" || Heavy 3D3 || 16 || -5 || 2D6
|-
| Stormlord || Vulcan Mega-Bolter || 60" || Heavy 20 || 6 || -2 || 2
|-
| Stormsword || Stomsword Siege Cannon || 36" || Heavy 2D6 || 10 || -4 || D6
|}

The table contains the main guns of all eight tanks, but they're more than just statlines attached to a tank:

* The '''Baneblade''' is the standard against which all other tanks are held. The Baneblade Cannon drops potent damage at a reliable rate, allowing you to blow up all but the heaviest of tanks in a single shot of its main cannon. It is also one of the two variants that carries an Autocannon and a Demolisher Cannon for that extra bit damage. As is, the Baneblade is a great long-range support tank.
* The '''Banehammer''' is more of a tactical vehicle for the special rule that applies to its Banehammer Cannon: if a unit is hit by the gun (not wounded, no unsaved wounds: ''hit'') its movement is halved and it cannot advance next turn. This makes it an ideal gun to shut down enemy units that need to be places to be the most effective: this especially works well agains tanks or transports. While lacking the firepower of the Baneblade, the Banehammer grants a unique tactical option. While the Banehammer is a transport, its long range means that you'll have to consider if you want to get close to disgorge your cargo and risk being shot at even more.
* The '''Banesword''' hits less often than most other variants, but it hits ''hard'' with its Quake Cannon. S14 means that all T7 and lower targets are wounded on a 2+, and its hefty AP-4 means that even Terminators have to watch out lest they are vaporized. On top of that, its D6 damage comes with the catch that all rolls of 1 and 2 count as 3, so infantry that gets hit will be vaporized immediately and even monsters will think twice about walking into its range of fire. And with 140" it's a lot of range indeed.
* The '''Doomhammer''' has a gun that is more or less a Melta weapon in that it gets to roll twice for damage and take the best one. At S10 AP-5 it's more than capable of dealing with super-heavy vehicles like [[Land Raider]]s and [[Monolith]]s. The 30" range that this requires you to be in is very close, but this does make it a more viable transport than the Banehammer. The second-most expensive of the lot at 420 points.
* The '''Hellhammer''' is the second variant with a Demolisher Cannon. Its main gun ignores the bonuses granted by cover, but with only 36" range you'll have to get very close in order to get its shots in. Its range might be short, but its firepower makes it a souped-up version of the Baneblade Cannon. Costs 410 bare.
* The '''Shadowsword''' is what you field if you want to bring down enemy Titanic units. 3D3 is an odd roll, but puts out a reliable 6 shots that at S16 down even T8 targets on a 2+. And with 2D6 damage anything hit by it will feel it. On top of that, the Shadowsword gets to re-roll failed Wound rolls against Titanic units, and it gets +1 To Hit against them as well. That means that the Shadowsword has to take out any fitting targets it faces ASAP lest it gets put down before it can do so.
* The '''Stormlord''' is the odd duck out with its Vulcan Mega-Bolter. A flat Heavy 20 means that it is ideal for putting down large swathes of infantry and has a good shot at even the tougher ones. Despite being a Bolter weapon it's got a massive 60" range, making it a powerful anti-vehicle weapon at range. But because of its massive transport capability (40!) it's used best as a close-range fire support vehicle, allowing you to haul a massive force towards the enemy to disgorge onto the objectives you cleared with your massive firepower. Because of this the array of Heavy Flamers work well to support the Stormlord, but do note that this nearly doubles the hefty 430 point cost of the vehicle.
* The '''Stormsword''' is tank meant for short range attacks, carrying a Stormsword Siege Cannon to deal with tough targets. Not only does it ignore the bonuses granted by cover, it also has re-rolls on damage rolls of 1. While those two things only really overlap against tanks in cover, the Stormsword can deal a decent amount of damage against just about any target.

All in all, most Baneblade variants are really helped by the Heavy Bolter sponsons: not only are they cheaper they don't need you to be as close to your enemies. While the Heavy Flamers can deal more damage they are hamped by their range and damage output, and work best on those variants who already need to be close to the enemy to use effectively. The pintle-mounted weapons are good, but not required; the same goes for the Hunter-Killer Missile.

=====Power Ratings=====
The tanks find themselves in the 26-30 points range, which is rather hefty. This point cost does include all the goodies, so don't be afraid to splurge on two sets of sponsons, a pintle-mounted weapon and a Hunter-Killer Missile. You've paid for them already, so you might as well use them.

===Other Imperial Models===
{|border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="margin: 1em;"
|-
| [[File:Fellblade.jpg|thumb|THIRTEEN BARRELS OF HELL.]] || '''{{Main|Fellblade}}''' The Fellblade is the [[Space Marines]]' main super-heavy tank, not used very much since the [[Horus Heresy]]. It's not so much a variant of the Baneblade as a sibling tank, with a unique [[Forge World]] kit to make it and a couple of its own unique subtypes.
|-
|[[File:Yarrick34b.jpg|thumb|Yarrick's fortress of WHERE ARE MY PRUNES.]] || '''Fortress of Arrogance''' It is of no surprise that [[Yarrick]] has his own personal Emperor-mobile in the form of the '''Fortress of Arrogance'''. [[Awesome|The Fortress is a sweet-ass black and gold plated Baneblade with unique decals and armaments.]] The Fortress was refitted with an armored cupola, giving Yarrick a "pulpit" from which to command and inspire. The turret also includes enhanced sensor and communications arrays making it far more accurate and have a longer range and penetrative shot than the regular Baneblade. This makes the Fortress of Arrogance an excellent HQ command choice as the ability to inspire nearby troops provides a good morale boost in the midst of battle. Unfortunately Yarrick was [[Herp|pretty bad at maintaining his mobile house of pimps.]] During the the Battle of Golgotha, the tank was crippled by a [[Stompa]], and Yarrick was forced to abandon it when the Imperial forces were routed from the planet. This is the scene of the above mentioned boggle of stupid. An Adeptus Mechanicus Reclamator expedition found the remnants of the venerable Baneblade, [[Fail|after losing like several hundred Guardsmen and two battalion of tanks.]] In a scene of a miracle, the Fortress was barely [[Looted|defiled]] by the [[Orks]] and was able to be fixed by the [[Mechanicus]] in prime condition. It is unknown what Yarrick did with his tank. Chances are, Yarrick would most likely use his tank and proceed to piledrive it into [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka's]] [[Anal circumference|anus]] in [[Octarius War|Octarius.]]
|-
| [[File:Stormblade_Arkurion.jpg|thumb|When you need that horde of [[Tyranids]] to fuck off right now. Accept no substitutes.]] || '''Stormblade''' The Stormblade is armed with a titan-scale [[Plasma Blastgun]]: a [[plasma]]-hurling death weapon that eats [[MEQ]]'s, hordes, hordes of MEQ's, and even light tanks for breakfast. With better range than the Stormlord and a blast radius so big that [[Grey Knights|Plasma Siphons]] feel even worse about existing, it excels at killing hordes of anything in [[Apocalypse]]. Even vehicle hordes. Its origin story starts on the Forge World of Ryza, where despite having the best reputation with regards to plasma technology, they couldn't build Volcano Cannons for Shadowsword tanks. So as an alternative to a giant D-Gun they slapped a giant plasma gun instead. Luckily, because the Shadowsword chassis was so massive, removing the laser generators meant there was plenty of space for a cooling system, so the tank never ''Gets Hot!'' from overuse. As mentioned above, Stormblades in Epic used to have Hellion Missile launchers to add to the amount they could [[Rape]] Titans, however in current 40k they no longer have them. The fluff reason is because the missiles had a tendency to self detonate when exposed to enemy fire, resulting in several tanks being destroyed by their own missiles. So it was figured that the tank and plasma blastgun were more precious than the limited-use ordnance that came as an aftermarket extra, so the missiles were withdrawn. There is also a Legion Astartes version because Forge World got tired of making additional versions of the [[Fellblade]].
|-
| [[File:Stormhammer1.jpg|thumb|If it weren't so weirdly asymmetrical, it would have been a decently designed tank.]] || '''Stormhammer''' The Stormhammer is a [[Solar Auxilia]] tank for 30K. It differs from the old epic version in that it only has three barrels of battle cannons - a twin linked two shot hull mounted battlecannon and the (if we use naval terminology for the thing) Superfiring S9 AP2, 7" blast Stormhammer cannon with shred and pinning. The standard secondary weapons are six [[multilaser]] sponsons which can be swapped out for heavy bolters or heavy flamers for free or lascannons for a cost, a coaxial multilaser and a hull mounted lascannon. Optional toys are a pintle mounted [[C.S. Goto|multilaser]] or heavy flamer and up to 4 (!) HK missiles. All the firepower is rounded out by a 6+ invulnerable save against blast and template weapons, and the ability to reroll failed dangerous terrain tests. The sponson weapons can be traded out individually, letting you choose any combination of multilasers, heavy bolters, heavy flamers and lascannons you want. It fills the same role as the Baneblade as a general purpose superheavy, with a gun for every target. The Stormblade offers more flexibility in loadout, and having 6 sponsons that can be individually customized for any situation allows it to engage even more targets compared to the Baneblade. The original Stormhammer was outfitted with two twin-Battle Cannon turrets and four pairs of Heavy Bolters, along with options for pintle storm bolters and four more sponsons, meaning it could mount seventeen fucking bolters if you were willing to pay for it. The problem? Its turrets all pointed different directions. Parking this thing in the intersection of a city table and pointing its turrets down the streets, however, was as good as denying the area to the enemy completely, unless somebody brought a Deathstrike.
|}

===Non-Imperial Variants===
{|border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="margin: 1em;"
|-
| [[File:Chaos_Decimator_Tank.PNG|thumb|Suck on this Corpse Worshipping Scum!]] ||'''Decimator''' The '''Decimator''' is a Super-Heavy Tank used by the [[Chaos Space Marines]]. Although most have been changed considerably by their time in the Eye of Terror, the Decimators were originally precursors to modern Imperial super-heavy vehicles like the Baneblade, Shadowsword and Stormsword, the last of which it most closely resembles in function. It is like the only super-heavy tank that the forces of Chaos have without being forced into [[Daemon Engine]] territory or exclusively sucking Papa [[Nurgle|Nurgle's]] dick. Decimators are armed primarily with a heavy, medium-ranged barrage weapon such as the unique Decimator Cannon which was a [[Rape|S10 AP2 weapon of rape,]] supported by several reaper autocannons, and are used to bombard enemies in cover. It has a unique rule called the '''"Decimator Tank Shock"''' which forces enemy infantry to take a test which will always have –1 to their Leadership if they are tank shocked by a Decimator. It should not be confused with the [[Decimator]] [[Daemon Engine]], although they are both intertwined in being moving hunks of metal that can make you piss your pants.
|-
| [[File:Plaguereaper.jpg|thumb|Probably the best thing to ever come out of Santa Nurgle's merry gifts and sharing.]] ||'''{{Main|Plaguereaper}}''' The '''Plaguereaper''' is a Baneblade variant exclusive to the forces of [[Nurgle]]. It's a corrupted baneblade chassis with its baneblade cannon replaced with a giant pus-cannon, which bathes a large area with a contagion that causes the body of whoever's afflicted by it, to erupt in boils and their flesh broken down before their very eyes in seconds.
|-
| [[Image:Skullhamma.jpg|thumb|An Orkified Baneblade. Are you fucked? Yes you are.]] ||'''{{Main|Skullhamma}}''' What happens when orks get hold of the massive engine of armored destruction that is the Baneblade? They make it twice as big (by welding armor plates and guns where there's a gap) and fast (by giving it a ridiculous super-charged engine so big it probably houses several lost gretchin communities).
|-
|[[File:Pert's_Tormentor.PNG|thumb|[[Perturabo|"FUCK YOU DORN, FUCK YOUR FORTIFICATIONS AND FUCK YOUR]] [[Thunderhawk#Ætos Dios|FLYING FORTRESS!"]]]] ||'''Tormentor''' The '''Tormentor''' AKA Pert's personal car is a modified Shadowsword of the [[Iron Warriors]] [[Primarch]], [[Perturabo]]. It is a really pimped out variant that boasts additional armour plating on all sides, extended command and control functions, a 15-model transport capacity with added rear access point, an even more enhanced Volcano Cannon and a Titan grade Void Shield. [[Get shit done|When Pert does it right, he gets it done.]] The Tormentor is a vehicle befitting for a Primarch. It is still not known whether Pert uses this as his personal car so he can run over and crush any pedestrian vehicle that pissed him off lately. But what is known is that the Tormentor is a clear sign of Pert telling [[Rogal Dorn]] to go fuck himself as he destroys Dorn's fortifications. In terms of tabletop, the Tormentor can be spent with a +500 points in a 3000+ points or more game. The Tormentor uses the Dedicated Transport rule and can carry a scary number of battle-automatons and Iron Warrior troops. It also doesn't take up a Lord of War slot.
|}

==Dawn of War series==
===DoW I===

In the Dawn of War PC game the Baneblade is the IG super-heavy unit, equivalent to the [[Chaos]] [[Bloodthirster]] [[Daemon]], or [[Eldar]]'s Avatar of [[Khaine]]. Only it's better because instead of a winged Daemon cow or a big flaming homosexual in a loincloth, it's a fucking giant tank. It is literally the best of these master units in the game, and it will go toe-to-toe with any other such unit and kill them before they kill it. Every time.

Its a well known fact that the crew members of Baneblades are chosen exclusively on the grounds of how big their balls are. This makes them able to shout "[[FAIL|Failure]] is the weakness of the enemy!" "Ready to unleash ELEVEN barrels of hell!" and "All guardsmen, Follow ME to GLOOREEEEY!" and being the only badass non-Hero unit in the entire [[Imperial Guard]].

===DoW II===

The Baneblade was introduced in DoWII's second expansion: Retribution, as the Imperial Guard's super heavy unit and one of the superunits, a title it shares with the [[Swarmlord]], the [[Great Unclean One]], the Avatar of [[Khaine]] once more (notably, the Avatar along with the Baneblade are the only returning superunits from the first Dawn of War series), the [[Battlewagon]], and the [[Land Raider]] Redeemer (which is a different variant from the one in Dawn of War). It makes a centerpiece appearance in the second mission of the campaign where a renegade one chases your characters around while the crazy Scottish driver yells "IDDACARE WHOO YOU ARE! FELL DA MIGHTA'DA BANEBLADE!!" [[FAIL|It then gets sodomized by rudimentary anti-armour turrets]]. On the upside, if you're playing space marines, you get to watch the Emperor's Fury running around a jungle path being chased by a giant tank (Benny Hill music optional, but encouraged).

It's still a moving fortress of rape that can decimate multiple tanks at a time and blow hordes of enemy units to bits and the strongest and toughest vehicle in the game (since it can't transport infantry like the Battlewagon and Land Raider Redeemer, it compensates with more firepower). The main difference is that while its main weapons systems (the BEHNBLADE cannon and the Demolisher Cannon) do much more damage than before, they don't function like the rest of its guns, they're used for special abilities that require manual targeting to fire, and cannot be fired at targets within minimum range. On top of that, this Baneblade has only TEN BARRELS OF HELL: the co-axial autocannon is there but is non-functional, which considerably reduces the overall firepower of this beast. Needless to say, the Baneblade requires a ton of support to use effectively, or otherwise it will be taken down in melee/at close range by just about anything (though all super units need support as well, so that's nothing new). Also, it's size means it can have difficulty maneuvering on certain maps (DoW II maps tend to not have as much open space as the original's).

The Baneblade has achieved a bit of a mini-meme status because of Captain [[Apollo Diomedes]] of the [[Blood Ravens]], who has this tendency to scream: ''"EET IS THE BEEEEHHHHNNNBLLADDDE"'', [[Indrick Boreale|in the most awesomely hilarious voice]] possible, whenever he sees one. Unfortunetly, this meme is already old and overused.

==The Novel==
The novel, titled Baneblade, is about Lt. Lo Bannick and his quest to redeem himself from the grievous sin of killing his cousin in self-defense. He does this by signing on to the nearest imperial guard unit and starts the novel commanding a squadron of [[Leman Russ]]es and then after an Ork ambush he gets a spot as third gunner on the ''Mars Triumphant''.

In short it's written so you could fap to how [[awesome]] the Baneblade is. Ironically, the real star of the book is a dangerously intelligent Ork Wierdboy who's aware of the Emperor's presence in the warp.

The sequel novel is entitled "Shadowsword" and follow's Bannick's adventures as he grows disillusioned with the Imperium of Man and gets told to pilot a Shadowsword because its soul feels guilty over being used by Orks before the Imperium salvaged it back. When he destroys a warp gate to prevent a daemonic invasion, his commissar tries to execute him and his entire crew for seeing [[Chaos|what should not be known.]]

==External Links==
* [[Baneblade Homebrew]]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpGr8MBE65k Russia made a scaled-up RC variant. Makes me wonder what the US did wrong not to get one too.]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpBngmCpUrU Captain Diomedes' hit single: IT IS THE BEEEIIINBLADE!]
* [http://www.blacklibrary.com/warhammer-40000/baneblade.html A Black Library's novel: BEEEIIINBLADE!!!]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyHRQgDhHZ0 THE BANEBLADETERIUM!]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNxAd6O0LLU How to build all eight versions of the Baneblade with just one model]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Winterassault.jpg|[[General Sturnn]] likes it hot and heavy.
Image:Baneblade.jpg|ALL GUARDSMEN!
Image:Baneblade2.jpg|FOLLOW ME TO GLORY!
Image:Shadowsword.jpg|Make a compensation joke at your own expense.
Image:LOLBaneblade.jpg|The track is broken and the sponson turret has a beef with the driver. This is an official image, by the way.
Image:Baneblade full cover.jpg|''<s>Multiple'' Baneblades. Start panicking.</s> Neh, that must be Vance Stubbs missing Baneblades. And that is not a reason to panic?
Image:Stormhammer.jpg|The ''original'' variant of the Stormhammer. This time, Quad-Cannons for quadruple the fun!
Image:Baneblade Motivator.jpg|Pew pew, bitches.
</gallery>

{{40k-Imperial-Vehicles}}
{{Imperial-Guard}}
{{Lost-and-Damned}}

Baneblade

2017-10-14T18:55:04Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* On the Tabletop */

[[File:4DdD2uO.jpg|right|500px|thumb|A cutaway view, which really shows that Gee Dubs has never hired an engineer in their entire existence. Where the fuck is the recoiling mechanism going to go?]]
{{Topquote|IT IS THE '''BEEEEEINNNBLEEEEHHDDDEEEE'''!|[[Apollo_Diomedes|Captain Diomedes]] of the [[Blood Ravens]].}}

The '''Baneblade''' is a big fucking [[Imperium of Man|Imperial]] tank in the Warhammer 40,000 universe, known generally for an impressive arsenal (OF GUNS), and [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs|disappearing en masse]]. Besides ''looking'' totally kickass, it stomps a lot of ass too. It is supposedly one of the oldest and largest tank designs used by the Imperium, despite that it's actually medium-sized according to the old Epic fluff. Then again, the "big" tanks in Epic were closer to moving, gun-mounting cathedrals. This is an actual tank. A manly tank. ''The'' manly tank. If only the Mechanicus had looked at the Battle Cannon, looked at the Baneblade, and scaled-down the Baneblade design and slapped on single-barrel heavy weapons instead of twin-linked and a long-barreled Battle Cannon.

==Origins==
The Baneblade first appeared in the ''Space Marine'' edition of [[Epic]], where it was the Imperial Guard's standard super-heavy tank (it says a lot about the universe that there's such a thing as a "standard" one). This version was armed with a turret-mounted Battle Cannon (with the same stats as the one on the [[Leman Russ Battle Tank]], despite the turret being the ''size'' of a Leman Russ), two Lascannons, and a bunch of dice worth of "Bolters" to deal with swarms. Despite obviously having a big gun on the lower hull, there was no representation of it in the tank's rules. Fluff described the hull as the size of a city block.

Being a standard version, there were variants at that point, and only three:

* The '''Stormhammer''' was effectively a moving fortress, and the precise armament is hard to say given the odd way the game treated "Bolters;" anything from an officer's [[Bolt Pistol]]s to ''both'' a Leman Russ' [[Heavy Bolter]]s was one attack die with the same stats. This means this particular monster might have up to 24 Heavy Bolters (or alternately 12 bolt pistols) in addition to two turrets with two battle cannons each. Basically, you park it in a place and then forget about that place, since it is now Defended.
* The '''Shadowsword''' was one of two Titan-killing variants, armed with two [[Lascannons]] and some "Bolters" like the Baneblade, but with the rear hull built up to mount a fixed Volcano Cannon, a giant laser weapon normally mounted on Titans.
* The '''Stormblade''' was a second variant of the fixed-weapon hull, and proof of how incredibly fucking HUEG the old Epic fluff made the Baneblade chassis; no fruity Lascannons for this one, the sponson weapons were a rack of missiles and a fucking ''[[Battle Cannon]]''. Your main gun was a Titan-grade Plasma Blastgun with a Hellion anti-Titan missile slung on the top. Potential drivers had to produce written proof that they were [[meme|bad enough dudes]] [[/v/|to save the President]] before they'd even be considered. [[Forge World]] makes a Stormblade, but it just sits there (eating an entire sack of dicks) because it knows it will never be cool enough to have a sponson-mounted Battle Cannon.
The Chaos legions have their own version called the '''Decimator''', which is, in fact, an early pre-production model super-heavy tank that would later lead to the development of the Baneblade. It has replaced its bolters with lots and lots of Reaper Autocannons, resulting in it being far nastier against medium armor, though its main cannon is not turreted, meaning the entire tank has to turn to fire it.

==Design==
[[File:Baneblade_Variants.jpg|400px|right|thumb|Just 13 more spaces to fill.]]
Here are a few fun facts about the mighty Baneblade:

*At the time of the [[Great Crusade]], there used to be ''entire <s>companies</s> battalions'' of Baneblades (it was described as being the "mainstay" of the Imperial Army). Nowadays, regiments with [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs|anywhere near a hundred Baneblades]] are virtually unheard of, and any Imperial Guard force can count itself lucky to have just one in their possession. If a Baneblade gets lost in combat, chances are that the Mechanicus will throw a bitchfit and pull out all stops to recover the hulk. This was the case seven years before the Third Armageddon War, when an entire Imperial Guard Army Group of approximately 30,000 men were deployed to Golgotha to retrieve Yarrick's Fortress of Arrogance and a bit of STC teleporter tech (although guard didn't know about that last part). From two tank battalions, lead by a Shadowsword tank called Angel of the Apocalypse and supported with a full mechanized battalion of elite Kasrkin Storm Troopers, only a pair of tanks and couple of hundred men survived. <del>Rather justified </del>. It was not and that is the point of the novel Gunheads that describes the sorry ordeal. They traded an elite tank force that was desperately needed in Armageddon for Yarrick's precious relic so that some smug general could score some political points. Worse than that, the Baneblade was only a carrot to get the AdMech some meatshields for their Xenos Teleporter Stealing Fun Time. Repairing a Baneblade is easier than making a new one, but trading a full tank army for one is not worth it. This seems to be a constant trope in 40K - sending a large amount of bodies to retrieve one body. See "squads of Space Marines fighting and dying to retrieve the body of an already-dead comrade so their geneseed can be retrieved, even though dozens of other Marines are dying at the same time". Ehhhh, that is questionable. The epilogue really seems to suggest that the inspiration of the Fortress of Arrogance was enough to have a major if non-quantitative effect that two tank battalions and a full mechanized Kasrkin battalion could not have ultimately contributed to the pivotal battle that led Ghazghkull to leave Armageddon. TL;DR, your mileage may vary.
* Production of Baneblades continues into the 41st Millennium. Although the STC has been shared with a select few of the countless forgeworlds in the Imperium, the majority of Baneblades still come from Martian forges. As a result, the [[Macharius Heavy Tank]] was re-discovered/developed explicitly for armored regiments that needed something meaner than a [[Leman Russ Battle Tank]] but needed scientific notation to denote their place on the Baneblade delivery list.

If you need some kind of analogy to more fully appreciate the awe-inspiring/pants-browning nature of Baneblades and their variants, then consider that a vanilla Baneblade is basically an up-armored WWII-era destroyer on treads with a near impossibly good suspension, weight to power ratio, ground pressure ratio, a power plant that will gladly burn any fuel, an advanced fire control suite and yet still is more heart-stopping better/terrifying than that. Or a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landkreuzer_P._1000_Ratte Landkreuzer P.1000 Ratte] that actually worked except you know with 25mm auto-cannons and particle beam "Laser" anti-tank weapons. Either way you think of it, it is an awe-inspiring/terror-inducing weapon.

Also one of the few imperial guard tanks that don't look like they refitted something from the first world war.

==Warhammer 40,000==
Scratch-built Baneblade models with homebrew (read: unfair) rules have been kicking around since roughly ten minutes after it was introduced in Epic, but it wasn't until [[Forge World]] was founded that [[Games Workshop]] ever considered releasing an official model. The Baneblade then became available as a plastic kit from GW itself, along with a six-option kit for the fixed-hull variants. With the [[Warhammer 40,000 6th edition|sixth edition]] re-release of [[Apocalypse]], GW redid the kit again to make all eight of their official variants listed below.

There are currently ten official variants, with the names being a nightmarish jumble of "Bane," "Sword," "Storm," "Shadow," "Blade" and "Hammer" to the point it's difficult remembering which is which. Though the naming conventions may have an in-fluff excuse for their complexity, since apparently since Baneblade and Shadowsword tanks are in such high demand that unscrupulous Forgeworlds without the correct know-how to build them would bodge together a variant "counterfeit" tank and hand them off to unsuspecting Imperial Guard regiments, who are none the wiser when they get "Baneswords" or "Stormblades" instead of what they actually asked for.

===Core Eight===
{|border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="margin: 1em;"
|-
| [[File:Marsbaneblade.jpg|thumb|The OG tank itself.]] || '''Baneblade''' The modern Baneblade mounts what's known as a "[[Baneblade Cannon]]" (representing belated recognition that the thing in the turret is really huge and so probably not a Battle Cannon) with a coaxial Autocannon, the same two Lascannons it always had, two Twin-linked Heavy Bolters in each sponson and another two on the hull front, and a [[Demolisher Cannon]] where the Mysterious Not-A-Weapon was once mounted. This leads to the well-known [[Dawn of War|ELEVEN BARRELS OF HELL]], though the vehicle has options for two more sponsons to be mounted (each with another Lascannon and Twin-linked Heavy Bolter) plus a pintle mounted heavy stubber, which raises the bar to eighteen. This option can only be taken on the GW plastic kit, as the old Forge World models were shorter, sillier-looking, and had no place for them. These were given their own pattern in the fluff, and thrust upon an unsuspecting Forge World (the ''other'' kind) to make and produce for all eternity. There are two patterns of the Baneblade, the Mars and Lucius pattern. [[Skub|Debates rage on what the difference and advantage between the two and which pattern is better.]] Whatever is the case the Baneblade excels in its job at being adaptable to different environments.
|-
| [[File:Banehammer.jpg|thumb|You ever wonder where that frequent tremble stumbles around? Now you know.]] || '''Banehammer''' The Banehammer fields the [[Tremor Cannon]] in a forward-set casement, a weapon that can turn a huge segment of the battlefield into a patch of flying rubble, slowing down the enemy long enough for the rest of the army to destroy them. It can also carry 25 soldiers, and has enough room in the rear deck to let ten of them stand outside and fire. Like all of the variants of the Baneblade, the Banehammer came into being as the solution to a specific tactical need. Like its counterpart tank the Stormlord, it is a dedicated line-breaker, designed to deal with large waves of infantry. Where the Stormlord is exceptionally effective against Orks, the Banehammer is especially effective against the horrendously fast-moving Tyranid swarms and their notoriously resiliant larger bio-forms. The Tremor Cannon that replaces the original Volcano Cannon is a potent weapon adapted from a [[Squat]] design: it fires large self-propelled rockets with an incredibly hard tip which are designed to burrow themselves a set distance into the ground before exploding. The underground detonation creates a powerful shockwave much larger than the shell's explosion, which will impede the progress of any unit caught within it. Infantry will be thrown down and shrouded in dirt, while tanks will become bogged down and trapped by the shifting soil. While the Tremor Cannon shell itself does relatively little damage, it is the side effect of the underground explosion that is invaluable, pinning the opponent in place and making him vulnerable to sustained bombardment by the other artillery elements of the Imperial Guard. Additionally, since the Tremor Cannon is much smaller than the original Volcano Cannon, the Banehammer possesses a large empty hold, which can be used to either transport a small platoon of Imperial Guardsmen, or house a cramped but fully functional headquarters equipped with powerful Vox-casters and tactical arrays from which the officer in charge can lead his troops.
|-
| [[File:Banesword.jpg|thumb|Your fortifications immediately pulls a critical existence failure when this guy is around.]] || '''Banesword''' The Banesword is a siege tank and one of the most recent derivation from the (in)famous Shadowsword: its [[Quake Cannon]] can be fired as a barrage weapon at a massive range to destroy up to 15' away, use this to troll the [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles|WFB]] players on the next table. In all seriousness, The power of the Quake Cannon, combined with the armour of a super-heavy, has established the Banesword as the pinnacle of Imperial siegecraft. Many Imperial commanders would be willing to exchange two regiments for a single Banesword; such is the reputation of this tank. Indeed, Imperial combat doctrine holds an honoured place for the Banesword. It is unknown what the [[Iron Warriors]] would think of this, although they will most likely find this tank to be quite convenient in their specialty. Like the Basilisk, the Banesword's place on the battlefield is in the rear areas, obliterating enemy fortifications with long range fire. Like the [[Basilisk Artillery Gun|Basilisk,]] the Banesword can also be pressed into the frontlines. The Banesword's armoured mass and secondary armament of three sets of twin-linked Heavy Bolters and two Lascannons allow it to perform much more efficiently than a battery of Basilisks when fielded in this way. The Banesword dispenses with the most hampering disadvantage of the Shadowsword, namely having to disengage its engine before firing. However, like all super-heavy tanks based on the Baneblade chassis, it suffers from poor top speed and maneuverability, and the Quake Cannon's fixed setting requires the Banesword to be bodily aimed at its intended target. Additionally, the Quake Cannon is inefficient against enemy [[Titan]]s, for unlike the Lance beam from a Volcano Cannon, or the massive plasma burst from a Plasma Blastgun, the massive shell will be stopped by any remaining Void Shield, requiring the target's shields to be taken down before the shot is taken with any hope of success.
|-
| [[File:Doomhammer.jpg|thumb|Its like a Shadowsword on rental.]] || '''Doomhammer''' The Doomhammer is a tank-killer. With a modest 5" blast but stats befitting a tank hunter, the [[Magma Cannon]] can reduce all but the largest of titans to scrap. While the magma cannon's range or area of effect are not the equal of the Shadowsword's volcano cannon, it can still deal a death blow to unwary players thinking they are all hotshots for having a Titan on the field. Since shells did not have to be carried and the retrofits did not take up too much space, it can also carry 25 soldiers, and has enough room in the rear deck to let ten of them stand outside and fire. The Doomhammer was first designed as a field conversion of a Banehammer tank during the 1000 year-long siege of the Renegade Forge World of Odana. By replacing the Banehammer's Tremor Cannon with a Magma Cannon the tank gained the ability to severely damage or outright destroy vast swathes of enemy vehicles. During the siege, armoured vehicle attrition rates outstripped supply and thus Imperial commanders had to use replacements for their lost Shadowswords. In a way, you can think of the Doomhammer as the 'shotgun' of the Titan-killing Baneblades as it lacks the overall oomph, it makes up for the aforementioned troop transport and its ability to cover a decent amount of land into molten lava.
|-
| [[File:Hellhammer tank.jpg|thumb|Its like a Baneblade with small penis syndrome.]] || '''Hellhammer''' The '''Hellhammer''' has the same profile as the Baneblade -- it doesn't have a big armored casement like the others, but rather the same comically-small pivoting turret. It uses the [[Hellhammer Cannon]], which is shorter, but no less deadly than the Baneblade Cannon, and strikes harder but on a smaller area, giving exactly zero fucks about the cover in between. Basically, if you shoot it at a unit, and that unit is not a superheavy, you have killed that unit. And any sense of friendship you may have had with your opponent. The Hellhammer was built to provide short-ranged fire support in difficult conditions (like city fights), hence why the Hellhammer Cannon is used and why it has such comically short turret. You don't want your tank get stuck trying to cross a T-Junction due to "Overcompensation-Syndrome" now do you? The Hellhammer's primary powerplant is a Phaeton pattern 110 square kilo-cubits Adaptable Thermic Combuster, supported by a Gravis pattern Thaumic Resonance Crystal Generation Unit. Besides the standard Smoke Launchers and Searchlight it can be adapted to mount a Hunter-Killer Missile and/or a pintle-mounted Heavy Stubber/Storm Bolter. Some Hellhammers will replace the side sponsons with extra armour or even add two additional side sponsons, each armed with a Lascannon and twin-linked Heavy Flamers.
|-
| [[File:Shadowsword2.jpg|thumb|The bane of Titans everywhere.]] || '''Shadowsword''' The Shadowsword is a [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|titan]]-killer. With a D-strength [[Volcano Cannon]]. It is considered the sister-tank to the Baneblade and ''EVERYTHING'' else outside the two of them are consider cheap knock-off wannabe tanks. Some Forgeworlds simply can't make Volcano Cannons or the complicated targeting computers intended to go with them, so they mount different guns and are sold off to Imperial Guard regiments in place of Shadowswords to fill requisitions. You'll find several variants listed below. "Real" Shadowswords are registered on Mars as soon as they get manufactured, and the Adeptus Mechanicum keeps a paranoid level of attention regarding their wherabouts so they know where they are at all times. Even amongst "dedicated" Shadowsword tanks, there seems to be very little rules difference for telling genuine vehicles apart from counterfeit ones on the tabletop; one might assume that the targeting computer sponsons ''(granting +1 BS)'' indicate a authentic Mars registered vehicle. Either way; the Shadowsword has a very good chance of bringing down even the biggest of titans. This guy is your friend. It will be there for you when something absolutely ''must'' die and must die ''now''. GW and Forgeworld both make kits for these -- the GW kit can make seven other tanks, but FW's kit has the targeters, a bigger engine and a travel mount for the cannon to rest on.
|-
| [[File:StormLord.jpg|thumb|[[MOAR DAKKA|DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA]]!]] || '''Stormlord''' The '''Stormlord''' is designed with but one purpose: to waste [[MEQ]]s. With the most dakka seen in Imperial armies (hell, ANYWHERE) in the form of a [[Vulcan Mega-Bolter]] (that can fire ''twice'' if the tank sits still), the ability to have up to 20 of its 40 passengers fire from its fighting platform and the option to have four lascannons, this tank WILL END enemy infantry! Unfortunately it just ''HAD'' to share the same turret mount as the Shadowsword, making it impossible for the Stormlord to turn its Vulcan Mega-Bolter around without turning the entire tank around. [[Derp|Ironically this makes it a pain in the ass when fighting in close and narrow environments like urban areas, places where the Stormlord is meant to shine the best.]] [[Herp|Seriously, try and do a parallel parking with this monster when trying to aim at some scrubs hiding behind a concrete wall.]] Despite the unfortunate implications, this is still probably one of the best super-heavy tanks in the game due to the amount of fire power that you get. 30 s6 ap3 shots at 60" range, 9 s5 ap4 shots at 36" range (twin linked) and 2 s9 ap2 shots at 48" range. Then you get 20 models shooting out of the top. Though you wonder how the passengers fit without taking up room for extra ammo...
|-
| [[File:Stormsword.jpg|thumb|The Guard miraculously avoided a war with the AdMech over this tank.]] || '''Stormsword''' Originally built from salvaged Shadowsword or Stormblade tanks, because those Volcano Cannons and Plasma Blastguns are blisteringly difficult to manufacture, the Imperial Guard just put wide-bore Cannons on the hulls and gave them spare Hellhammer Shells to fire. Needless to say these [[Heresy|"unsanctioned" modifications]] got the Mechanicum's collective jimmies rustled up. But because the vehicles were still good at what they did, the Imperial Guard commanders kept the vehicles listed on the roster in spite of what anyone else was thinking. Yet, in an uncharacteristically grown-up move, the Mechanicum actually capitulated on the matter and started making Stormswords themselves, upgrading the "Hellhammer Cannons" with dedicated "Stormsword Cannons" which have much the same range and effect, but a bigger blast radius. The '''Stormsword''' excels at city fighting. It is able to turn entire building blocks to dust with a single shot. The tank's main weakness is the short range on its [[Stormsword Cannon]] and lack of a hull-mounted Demolisher cannon.
|}

====On the Tabletop====
The Baneblade and its variants are all statted out in full in the recent ''Codex: Astra Militarum''. The premier superheavy tank of the Imperial Guard, the Baneblade tanks make for a formidable base to build an army around and a source of a lot of heavy weapons fire. All Baneblades have the same statline: at T8, W26 and a 3+ save they're more than able to soak up quite a lot of the fire they will inevitably attract. And while its BS4+ doesn't seem like a lot, thanks to its Steel Behemoth rule it can fire all of its Heavy Weapons (which is everything it has except its Storm Bolter, which as a Rapid Fire weapon isn't affected by this anyway), as well as fire and charge on the same turn it Fell Back. And thanks to 9 attacks at S9 AP-2 DD3 it can deal a surprising amount of damage, but don't send it into a fight against things like [[Terminator]]s. The Baneblade starts to deteriorate at half wounds, losing three of its 10" movement, its BS goes down by one and it loses 3 attacks. But because it's so tough, it can take quite a beating before being diminished as long as your opponent doesn't have Lords of War on the battlefield as well.

At 390 points for most of the variants with a maximum of 430 for the Stormlord, Baneblades are at a base level pretty affordable. They all get different main weapons, and all of them have a pair of Heavy Bolters as well. The Baneblade and Hellhammer get an additional [[Autocannon]] and [[Demolisher Cannon]], and the Hellhammer also has a [[Lasgun]] for some reason. All of them can take either one or two pairs of sponsons, each equipped with a [[Lascannon]] and either two [[Heavy Bolter]]s or two [[Heavy Flamer]]s. Note that you can mix and match as you see fit: if you have only one pair you can pick one with a Heavy Bolter and the other with a Heavy Flamer. Sponsons cost 34 for the Heavy Bolter and 50 for the Heavy Flamer. The points really add up though: 68 for a pair and 136 for a full set of Heavy Bolters, and 100 and 200 for the Heavy Flamers. But when you look at the firepower you know you've got the good stuff. Four Heavy Flamers net you 8D6 S5 AP-1 D1 shots that auto-hit, while the four double Heavy Bolters, paired with the standard one, nets you 30 S5 AP-1 D1 shots at 36" range. And don't forget the 4 S9 AP-3 DD6 shots from the four Lascannons. Note that the Heavy Bolter option is 20 points cheaper than an equally-equipped [[Heavy Weapons Squad]]. The Heavy Flamers are expensive, but other tanks are bound to a maximum of 3 for a comparative higher price tag (aka the tank they're on). The Baneblade can also take a pintle-mounted [[Heavy Stubber]] or [[Storm Bolter]], and a [[Hunter-Killer Missile]] for good measure. The Heavy Stubber is the superior option (albeit twice as expensive at 4 compared to the SB's 2) most of the time: only when decked out with Heavy Flamers or when facing enemies that charge the tank the Storm Bolter is superior. The Hunter-Killer Missile is neat, but with the massive arsenal the tank's lugging around it's not necessary. Because of its massive array of weapons charging one is a very bad idea: even when only hitting on sixes the sheer volume of fire will mean that you'll get hit.

{|border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 align=right style="margin: 1em;"
|-
! Tank || Name || Range || Type || S || AP || D
|-
| Baneblade || Baneblade Cannon || 72" || Heavy 3D6 || 9 || -3 || 3
|-
| Banehammer || Tremor Cannon || 60" || Heavy 3D6 || 8 || -2 || 3
|-
| Banesword || Quake Cannon || 140" || Heavy 2D6 || 14 || -4 || D6
|-
| Doomhammer || Magma Cannon || 60" || Heavy 2D6 || 10 || -5 || D6
|-
| Hellhammer || Hellhammer Cannon || 36" || Heavy 3D6 || 10 || -4 || 3
|-
| Shadowsword || Volcano Cannon || 120" || Heavy 3D3 || 16 || -5 || 2D6
|-
| Stormlord || Vulcan Mega-Bolter || 60" || Heavy 20 || 6 || -2 || 2
|-
| Stormsword || Stomsword Siege Cannon || 36" || Heavy 2D6 || 10 || -4 || D6
|}

The table contains the main guns of all eight tanks, but they're more than just statlines attached to a tank:

* The '''Baneblade''' is the standard against which all other tanks are held. The Baneblade Cannon drops potent damage at a reliable rate, allowing you to blow up all but the heaviest of tanks in a single shot of its main cannon. It is also one of the two variants that carries an Autocannon and a Demolisher Cannon for that extra bit damage. As is, the Baneblade is a great long-range support tank.
* The '''Banehammer''' is more of a tactical vehicle for the special rule that applies to its Banehammer Cannon: if a unit is hit by the gun (not wounded, no unsaved wounds: ''hit'') its movement is halved and it cannot advance next turn. This makes it an ideal gun to shut down enemy units that need to be places to be the most effective: this especially works well agains tanks or transports. While lacking the firepower of the Baneblade, the Banehammer grants a unique tactical option. While the Banehammer is a transport, its long range means that you'll have to consider if you want to get close to disgorge your cargo and risk being shot at even more.
* The '''Banesword''' hits less often than most other variants, but it hits ''hard'' with its Quake Cannon. S14 means that all T7 and lower targets are wounded on a 2+, and its hefty AP-4 means that even Terminators have to watch out lest they are vaporized. On top of that, its D6 damage comes with the catch that all rolls of 1 and 2 count as 3, so infantry that gets hit will be vaporized immediately and even monsters will think twice about walking into its range of fire. And with 140" it's a lot of range indeed.
* The '''Doomhammer''' has a gun that is more or less a Melta weapon in that it gets to roll twice for damage and take the best one. At S10 AP-5 it's more than capable of dealing with super-heavy vehicles like [[Land Raider]]s and [[Monolith]]s. The 30" range that this requires you to be in is very close, but this does make it a more viable transport than the Banehammer. The second-most expensive of the lot at 420 points.
* The '''Hellhammer''' is the second variant with a Demolisher Cannon. Its main gun ignores the bonuses granted by cover, but with only 36" range you'll have to get very close in order to get its shots in. Its range might be short, but its firepower makes it a souped-up version of the Baneblade Cannon. Costs 410 bare.
* The '''Shadowsword''' is what you field if you want to bring down enemy Titanic units. 3D3 is an odd roll, but puts out a reliable 6 shots that at S16 down even T8 targets on a 2+. And with 2D6 damage anything hit by it will feel it. On top of that, the Shadowsword gets to re-roll failed Wound rolls against Titanic units, and it gets +1 To Hit against them as well. That means that the Shadowsword has to take out any fitting targets it faces ASAP lest it gets put down before it can do so.
* The '''Stormlord''' is the odd duck out with its Vulcan Mega-Bolter. A flat Heavy 20 means that it is ideal for putting down large swathes of infantry and has a good shot at even the tougher ones. Despite being a Bolter weapon it's got a massive 60" range, making it a powerful anti-vehicle weapon at range. But because of its massive transport capability (40!) it's used best as a close-range fire support vehicle, allowing you to haul a massive force towards the enemy to disgorge onto the objectives you cleared with your massive firepower. Because of this the array of Heavy Flamers work well to support the Stormlord, but do note that this nearly doubles the hefty 430 point cost of the vehicle.
* The '''Stormsword''' is tank meant for short range attacks, carrying a Stormsword Siege Cannon to deal with tough targets. Not only does it ignore the bonuses granted by cover, it also has re-rolls on damage rolls of 1. While those two things only really overlap against tanks in cover, the Stormsword can deal a decent amount of damage against just about any target.

All in all, most Baneblade variants are really helped by the Heavy Bolter sponsons: not only are they cheaper they don't need you to be as close to your enemies. While the Heavy Flamers can deal more damage they are hamped by their range and damage output, and work best on those variants who already need to be close to the enemy to use effectively. The pintle-mounted weapons are good, but not required; the same goes for the Hunter-Killer Missile.

=====Power Ratings=====
The tanks find themselves in the 26-30 points range, which is rather hefty. This point cost does include all the goodies, so don't be afraid to splurge on two sets of sponsons, a pintle-mounted weapon and a Hunter-Killer Missile. You've paid for them already, so you might as well use them.

===Other Imperial Models===
{|border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="margin: 1em;"
|-
| [[File:Fellblade.jpg|thumb|THIRTEEN BARRELS OF HELL.]] || '''{{Main|Fellblade}}''' The Fellblade is the [[Space Marines]]' main super-heavy tank, not used very much since the [[Horus Heresy]]. It's not so much a variant of the Baneblade as a sibling tank, with a unique [[Forge World]] kit to make it and a couple of its own unique subtypes.
|-
|[[File:Yarrick34b.jpg|thumb|Yarrick's fortress of WHERE ARE MY PRUNES.]] || '''Fortress of Arrogance''' It is of no surprise that [[Yarrick]] has his own personal Emperor-mobile in the form of the '''Fortress of Arrogance'''. [[Awesome|The Fortress is a sweet-ass black and gold plated Baneblade with unique decals and armaments.]] The Fortress was refitted with an armored cupola, giving Yarrick a "pulpit" from which to command and inspire. The turret also includes enhanced sensor and communications arrays making it far more accurate and have a longer range and penetrative shot than the regular Baneblade. This makes the Fortress of Arrogance an excellent HQ command choice as the ability to inspire nearby troops provides a good morale boost in the midst of battle. Unfortunately Yarrick was [[Herp|pretty bad at maintaining his mobile house of pimps.]] During the the Battle of Golgotha, the tank was crippled by a [[Stompa]], and Yarrick was forced to abandon it when the Imperial forces were routed from the planet. This is the scene of the above mentioned boggle of stupid. An Adeptus Mechanicus Reclamator expedition found the remnants of the venerable Baneblade, [[Fail|after losing like several hundred Guardsmen and two battalion of tanks.]] In a scene of a miracle, the Fortress was barely [[Looted|defiled]] by the [[Orks]] and was able to be fixed by the [[Mechanicus]] in prime condition. It is unknown what Yarrick did with his tank. Chances are, Yarrick would most likely use his tank and proceed to piledrive it into [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka's]] [[Anal circumference|anus]] in [[Octarius War|Octarius.]]
|-
| [[File:Stormblade_Arkurion.jpg|thumb|When you need that horde of [[Tyranids]] to fuck off right now. Accept no substitutes.]] || '''Stormblade''' The Stormblade is armed with a titan-scale [[Plasma Blastgun]]: a [[plasma]]-hurling death weapon that eats [[MEQ]]'s, hordes, hordes of MEQ's, and even light tanks for breakfast. With better range than the Stormlord and a blast radius so big that [[Grey Knights|Plasma Siphons]] feel even worse about existing, it excels at killing hordes of anything in [[Apocalypse]]. Even vehicle hordes. Its origin story starts on the Forge World of Ryza, where despite having the best reputation with regards to plasma technology, they couldn't build Volcano Cannons for Shadowsword tanks. So as an alternative to a giant D-Gun they slapped a giant plasma gun instead. Luckily, because the Shadowsword chassis was so massive, removing the the laser generators meant there was plenty of space for a cooling system, so the tank never ''Gets Hot!'' from overuse. As mentioned above, Stormblades in Epic used to have Hellion Missile launchers to add to the amount they could [[Rape]] Titans, however in current 40k they no longer have them. The fluff reason is because the missiles had a tendency to self detonate when exposed to enemy fire, resulting in several tanks being destroyed by their own missiles. So it was figured that the tank and plasma blastgun were more precious than the limited-use ordnance that came as an aftermarket extra, so the missiles were withdrawn. There is also a Legion Astartes version because Forge World got tired of making additional versions of the [[Fellblade]].
|-
| [[File:Stormhammer1.jpg|thumb|If it weren't so weirdly asymmetrical, it would have been a decently designed tank.]] || '''Stormhammer''' The Stormhammer is a [[Solar Auxilia]] tank for 30K. It differs from the old epic version in that it only has three barrels of battle cannons - a twin linked two shot hull mounted battlecannon and the (if we use naval terminology for the thing) Superfiring S9 AP2, 7" blast Stormhammer cannon with shred and pinning. The standard secondary weapons are six [[multilaser]] sponsons which can be swapped out for heavy bolters or heavy flamers for free or lascannons for a cost, a coaxial multilaser and a hull mounted lascannon. Optional toys are a pintle mounted [[C.S. Goto|multilaser]] or heavy flamer and up to 4 (!) HK missiles. All the firepower is rounded out by a 6+ invulnerable save against blast and template weapons, and the ability to reroll failed dangerous terrain tests. The sponson weapons can be traded out individually, letting you choose any combination of multilasers, heavy bolters, heavy flamers and lascannons you want. It fills the same role as the Baneblade as a general purpose superheavy, with a gun for every target. The Stormblade offers more flexibility in loadout, and having 6 sponsons that can be individually customized for any situation allows it to engage even more targets compared to the Baneblade. The original Stormhammer was outfitted with two twin-Battle Cannon turrets and four pairs of Heavy Bolters, along with options for pintle storm bolters and four more sponsons, meaning it could mount seventeen fucking bolters if you were willing to pay for it. The problem? Its turrets all pointed different directions. Parking this thing in the intersection of a city table and pointing its turrets down the streets, however, was as good as denying the area to the enemy completely, unless somebody brought a Deathstrike.
|}

===Non-Imperial Variants===
{|border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="margin: 1em;"
|-
| [[File:Chaos_Decimator_Tank.PNG|thumb|Suck on this Corpse Worshipping Scum!]] ||'''Decimator''' The '''Decimator''' is a Super-Heavy Tank used by the [[Chaos Space Marines]]. Although most have been changed considerably by their time in the Eye of Terror, the Decimators were originally precursors to modern Imperial super-heavy vehicles like the Baneblade, Shadowsword and Stormsword, the last of which it most closely resembles in function. It is like the only super-heavy tank that the forces of Chaos have without being forced into [[Daemon Engine]] territory or exclusively sucking Papa [[Nurgle|Nurgle's]] dick. Decimators are armed primarily with a heavy, medium-ranged barrage weapon such as the unique Decimator Cannon which was a [[Rape|S10 AP2 weapon of rape,]] supported by several reaper autocannons, and are used to bombard enemies in cover. It has a unique rule called the '''"Decimator Tank Shock"''' which forces enemy infantry to take a test which will always have –1 to their Leadership if they are tank shocked by a Decimator. It should not be confused with the [[Decimator]] [[Daemon Engine]], although they are both intertwined in being moving hunks of metal that can make you piss your pants.
|-
| [[File:Plaguereaper.jpg|thumb|Probably the best thing to ever come out of Santa Nurgle's merry gifts and sharing.]] ||'''{{Main|Plaguereaper}}''' The '''Plaguereaper''' is a Baneblade variant exclusive to the forces of [[Nurgle]]. It's a corrupted baneblade chassis with its baneblade cannon replaced with a giant pus-cannon, which bathes a large area with a contagion that causes the body of whoever's afflicted by it, to erupt in boils and their flesh broken down before their very eyes in seconds.
|-
| [[Image:Skullhamma.jpg|thumb|An Orkified Baneblade. Are you fucked? Yes you are.]] ||'''{{Main|Skullhamma}}''' What happens when orks get hold of the massive engine of armored destruction that is the Baneblade? They make it twice as big (by welding armor plates and guns where there's a gap) and fast (by giving it a ridiculous super-charged engine so big it probably houses several lost gretchin communities).
|-
|[[File:Pert's_Tormentor.PNG|thumb|[[Perturabo|"FUCK YOU DORN, FUCK YOUR FORTIFICATIONS AND FUCK YOUR]] [[Thunderhawk#Ætos Dios|FLYING FORTRESS!"]]]] ||'''Tormentor''' The '''Tormentor''' AKA Pert's personal car is a modified Shadowsword of the [[Iron Warriors]] [[Primarch]], [[Perturabo]]. It is a really pimped out variant that boasts additional armour plating on all sides, extended command and control functions, a 15-model transport capacity with added rear access point, an even more enhanced Volcano Cannon and a Titan grade Void Shield. [[Get shit done|When Pert does it right, he gets it done.]] The Tormentor is a vehicle befitting for a Primarch. It is still not known whether Pert uses this as his personal car so he can run over and crush any pedestrian vehicle that pissed him off lately. But what is known is that the Tormentor is a clear sign of Pert telling [[Rogal Dorn]] to go fuck himself as he destroys Dorn's fortifications. In terms of tabletop, the Tormentor can be spent with a +500 points in a 3000+ points or more game. The Tormentor uses the Dedicated Transport rule and can carry a scary number of battle-automatons and Iron Warrior troops. It also doesn't take up a Lord of War slot.
|}

==Dawn of War series==
===DoW I===

In the Dawn of War PC game the Baneblade is the IG super-heavy unit, equivalent to the [[Chaos]] [[Bloodthirster]] [[Daemon]], or [[Eldar]]'s Avatar of [[Khaine]]. Only it's better because instead of a winged Daemon cow or a big flaming homosexual in a loincloth, it's a fucking giant tank. It is literally the best of these master units in the game, and it will go toe-to-toe with any other such unit and kill them before they kill it. Every time.

Its a well known fact that the crew members of Baneblades are chosen exclusively on the grounds of how big their balls are. This makes them able to shout "[[FAIL|Failure]] is the weakness of the enemy!" "Ready to unleash ELEVEN barrels of hell!" and "All guardsmen, Follow ME to GLOOREEEEY!" and being the only badass non-Hero unit in the entire [[Imperial Guard]].

===DoW II===

The Baneblade was introduced in DoWII's second expansion: Retribution, as the Imperial Guard's super heavy unit and one of the superunits, a title it shares with the [[Swarmlord]], the [[Great Unclean One]], the Avatar of [[Khaine]] once more (notably, the Avatar along with the Baneblade are the only returning superunits from the first Dawn of War series), the [[Battlewagon]], and the [[Land Raider]] Redeemer (which is a different variant from the one in Dawn of War). It makes a centerpiece appearance in the second mission of the campaign where a renegade one chases your characters around while the crazy Scottish driver yells "IDDACARE WHOO YOU ARE! FELL DA MIGHTA'DA BANEBLADE!!" [[FAIL|It then gets sodomized by rudimentary anti-armour turrets]]. On the upside, if you're playing space marines, you get to watch the Emperor's Fury running around a jungle path being chased by a giant tank (Benny Hill music optional, but encouraged).

It's still a moving fortress of rape that can decimate multiple tanks at a time and blow hordes of enemy units to bits and the strongest and toughest vehicle in the game (since it can't transport infantry like the Battlewagon and Land Raider Redeemer, it compensates with more firepower). The main difference is that while its main weapons systems (the BEHNBLADE cannon and the Demolisher Cannon) do much more damage than before, they don't function like the rest of its guns, they're used for special abilities that require manual targeting to fire, and cannot be fired at targets within minimum range. On top of that, this Baneblade has only TEN BARRELS OF HELL: the co-axial autocannon is there but is non-functional, which considerably reduces the overall firepower of this beast. Needless to say, the Baneblade requires a ton of support to use effectively, or otherwise it will be taken down in melee/at close range by just about anything (though all super units need support as well, so that's nothing new). Also, it's size means it can have difficulty maneuvering on certain maps (DoW II maps tend to not have as much open space as the original's).

The Baneblade has achieved a bit of a mini-meme status because of Captain [[Apollo Diomedes]] of the [[Blood Ravens]], who has this tendency to scream: ''"EET IS THE BEEEEHHHHNNNBLLADDDE"'', [[Indrick Boreale|in the most awesomely hilarious voice]] possible, whenever he sees one. Unfortunetly, this meme is already old and overused.

==The Novel==
The novel, titled Baneblade, is about Lt. Lo Bannick and his quest to redeem himself from the grievous sin of killing his cousin in self-defense. He does this by signing on to the nearest imperial guard unit and starts the novel commanding a squadron of [[Leman Russ]]es and then after an Ork ambush he gets a spot as third gunner on the ''Mars Triumphant''.

In short it's written so you could fap to how [[awesome]] the Baneblade is. Ironically, the real star of the book is a dangerously intelligent Ork Wierdboy who's aware of the Emperor's presence in the warp.

The sequel novel is entitled "Shadowsword" and follow's Bannick's adventures as he grows disillusioned with the Imperium of Man and gets told to pilot a Shadowsword because its soul feels guilty over being used by Orks before the Imperium salvaged it back. When he destroys a warp gate to prevent a daemonic invasion, his commissar tries to execute him and his entire crew for seeing [[Chaos|what should not be known.]]

==External Links==
* [[Baneblade Homebrew]]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpGr8MBE65k Russia made a scaled-up RC variant. Makes me wonder what the US did wrong not to get one too.]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpBngmCpUrU Captain Diomedes' hit single: IT IS THE BEEEIIINBLADE!]
* [http://www.blacklibrary.com/warhammer-40000/baneblade.html A Black Library's novel: BEEEIIINBLADE!!!]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyHRQgDhHZ0 THE BANEBLADETERIUM!]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNxAd6O0LLU How to build all eight versions of the Baneblade with just one model]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Winterassault.jpg|[[General Sturnn]] likes it hot and heavy.
Image:Baneblade.jpg|ALL GUARDSMEN!
Image:Baneblade2.jpg|FOLLOW ME TO GLORY!
Image:Shadowsword.jpg|Make a compensation joke at your own expense.
Image:LOLBaneblade.jpg|The track is broken and the sponson turret has a beef with the driver. This is an official image, by the way.
Image:Baneblade full cover.jpg|''<s>Multiple'' Baneblades. Start panicking.</s> Neh, that must be Vance Stubbs missing Baneblades. And that is not a reason to panic?
Image:Stormhammer.jpg|The ''original'' variant of the Stormhammer. This time, Quad-Cannons for quadruple the fun!
Image:Baneblade Motivator.jpg|Pew pew, bitches.
</gallery>

{{40k-Imperial-Vehicles}}
{{Imperial-Guard}}
{{Lost-and-Damned}}

Baneblade

2017-10-14T18:51:43Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* On the Tabletop */

[[File:4DdD2uO.jpg|right|500px|thumb|A cutaway view, which really shows that Gee Dubs has never hired an engineer in their entire existence. Where the fuck is the recoiling mechanism going to go?]]
{{Topquote|IT IS THE '''BEEEEEINNNBLEEEEHHDDDEEEE'''!|[[Apollo_Diomedes|Captain Diomedes]] of the [[Blood Ravens]].}}

The '''Baneblade''' is a big fucking [[Imperium of Man|Imperial]] tank in the Warhammer 40,000 universe, known generally for an impressive arsenal (OF GUNS), and [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs|disappearing en masse]]. Besides ''looking'' totally kickass, it stomps a lot of ass too. It is supposedly one of the oldest and largest tank designs used by the Imperium, despite that it's actually medium-sized according to the old Epic fluff. Then again, the "big" tanks in Epic were closer to moving, gun-mounting cathedrals. This is an actual tank. A manly tank. ''The'' manly tank. If only the Mechanicus had looked at the Battle Cannon, looked at the Baneblade, and scaled-down the Baneblade design and slapped on single-barrel heavy weapons instead of twin-linked and a long-barreled Battle Cannon.

==Origins==
The Baneblade first appeared in the ''Space Marine'' edition of [[Epic]], where it was the Imperial Guard's standard super-heavy tank (it says a lot about the universe that there's such a thing as a "standard" one). This version was armed with a turret-mounted Battle Cannon (with the same stats as the one on the [[Leman Russ Battle Tank]], despite the turret being the ''size'' of a Leman Russ), two Lascannons, and a bunch of dice worth of "Bolters" to deal with swarms. Despite obviously having a big gun on the lower hull, there was no representation of it in the tank's rules. Fluff described the hull as the size of a city block.

Being a standard version, there were variants at that point, and only three:

* The '''Stormhammer''' was effectively a moving fortress, and the precise armament is hard to say given the odd way the game treated "Bolters;" anything from an officer's [[Bolt Pistol]]s to ''both'' a Leman Russ' [[Heavy Bolter]]s was one attack die with the same stats. This means this particular monster might have up to 24 Heavy Bolters (or alternately 12 bolt pistols) in addition to two turrets with two battle cannons each. Basically, you park it in a place and then forget about that place, since it is now Defended.
* The '''Shadowsword''' was one of two Titan-killing variants, armed with two [[Lascannons]] and some "Bolters" like the Baneblade, but with the rear hull built up to mount a fixed Volcano Cannon, a giant laser weapon normally mounted on Titans.
* The '''Stormblade''' was a second variant of the fixed-weapon hull, and proof of how incredibly fucking HUEG the old Epic fluff made the Baneblade chassis; no fruity Lascannons for this one, the sponson weapons were a rack of missiles and a fucking ''[[Battle Cannon]]''. Your main gun was a Titan-grade Plasma Blastgun with a Hellion anti-Titan missile slung on the top. Potential drivers had to produce written proof that they were [[meme|bad enough dudes]] [[/v/|to save the President]] before they'd even be considered. [[Forge World]] makes a Stormblade, but it just sits there (eating an entire sack of dicks) because it knows it will never be cool enough to have a sponson-mounted Battle Cannon.
The Chaos legions have their own version called the '''Decimator''', which is, in fact, an early pre-production model super-heavy tank that would later lead to the development of the Baneblade. It has replaced its bolters with lots and lots of Reaper Autocannons, resulting in it being far nastier against medium armor, though its main cannon is not turreted, meaning the entire tank has to turn to fire it.

==Design==
[[File:Baneblade_Variants.jpg|400px|right|thumb|Just 13 more spaces to fill.]]
Here are a few fun facts about the mighty Baneblade:

*At the time of the [[Great Crusade]], there used to be ''entire <s>companies</s> battalions'' of Baneblades (it was described as being the "mainstay" of the Imperial Army). Nowadays, regiments with [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs|anywhere near a hundred Baneblades]] are virtually unheard of, and any Imperial Guard force can count itself lucky to have just one in their possession. If a Baneblade gets lost in combat, chances are that the Mechanicus will throw a bitchfit and pull out all stops to recover the hulk. This was the case seven years before the Third Armageddon War, when an entire Imperial Guard Army Group of approximately 30,000 men were deployed to Golgotha to retrieve Yarrick's Fortress of Arrogance and a bit of STC teleporter tech (although guard didn't know about that last part). From two tank battalions, lead by a Shadowsword tank called Angel of the Apocalypse and supported with a full mechanized battalion of elite Kasrkin Storm Troopers, only a pair of tanks and couple of hundred men survived. <del>Rather justified </del>. It was not and that is the point of the novel Gunheads that describes the sorry ordeal. They traded an elite tank force that was desperately needed in Armageddon for Yarrick's precious relic so that some smug general could score some political points. Worse than that, the Baneblade was only a carrot to get the AdMech some meatshields for their Xenos Teleporter Stealing Fun Time. Repairing a Baneblade is easier than making a new one, but trading a full tank army for one is not worth it. This seems to be a constant trope in 40K - sending a large amount of bodies to retrieve one body. See "squads of Space Marines fighting and dying to retrieve the body of an already-dead comrade so their geneseed can be retrieved, even though dozens of other Marines are dying at the same time". Ehhhh, that is questionable. The epilogue really seems to suggest that the inspiration of the Fortress of Arrogance was enough to have a major if non-quantitative effect that two tank battalions and a full mechanized Kasrkin battalion could not have ultimately contributed to the pivotal battle that led Ghazghkull to leave Armageddon. TL;DR, your mileage may vary.
* Production of Baneblades continues into the 41st Millennium. Although the STC has been shared with a select few of the countless forgeworlds in the Imperium, the majority of Baneblades still come from Martian forges. As a result, the [[Macharius Heavy Tank]] was re-discovered/developed explicitly for armored regiments that needed something meaner than a [[Leman Russ Battle Tank]] but needed scientific notation to denote their place on the Baneblade delivery list.

If you need some kind of analogy to more fully appreciate the awe-inspiring/pants-browning nature of Baneblades and their variants, then consider that a vanilla Baneblade is basically an up-armored WWII-era destroyer on treads with a near impossibly good suspension, weight to power ratio, ground pressure ratio, a power plant that will gladly burn any fuel, an advanced fire control suite and yet still is more heart-stopping better/terrifying than that. Or a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landkreuzer_P._1000_Ratte Landkreuzer P.1000 Ratte] that actually worked except you know with 25mm auto-cannons and particle beam "Laser" anti-tank weapons. Either way you think of it, it is an awe-inspiring/terror-inducing weapon.

Also one of the few imperial guard tanks that don't look like they refitted something from the first world war.

==Warhammer 40,000==
Scratch-built Baneblade models with homebrew (read: unfair) rules have been kicking around since roughly ten minutes after it was introduced in Epic, but it wasn't until [[Forge World]] was founded that [[Games Workshop]] ever considered releasing an official model. The Baneblade then became available as a plastic kit from GW itself, along with a six-option kit for the fixed-hull variants. With the [[Warhammer 40,000 6th edition|sixth edition]] re-release of [[Apocalypse]], GW redid the kit again to make all eight of their official variants listed below.

There are currently ten official variants, with the names being a nightmarish jumble of "Bane," "Sword," "Storm," "Shadow," "Blade" and "Hammer" to the point it's difficult remembering which is which. Though the naming conventions may have an in-fluff excuse for their complexity, since apparently since Baneblade and Shadowsword tanks are in such high demand that unscrupulous Forgeworlds without the correct know-how to build them would bodge together a variant "counterfeit" tank and hand them off to unsuspecting Imperial Guard regiments, who are none the wiser when they get "Baneswords" or "Stormblades" instead of what they actually asked for.

===Core Eight===
{|border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="margin: 1em;"
|-
| [[File:Marsbaneblade.jpg|thumb|The OG tank itself.]] || '''Baneblade''' The modern Baneblade mounts what's known as a "[[Baneblade Cannon]]" (representing belated recognition that the thing in the turret is really huge and so probably not a Battle Cannon) with a coaxial Autocannon, the same two Lascannons it always had, two Twin-linked Heavy Bolters in each sponson and another two on the hull front, and a [[Demolisher Cannon]] where the Mysterious Not-A-Weapon was once mounted. This leads to the well-known [[Dawn of War|ELEVEN BARRELS OF HELL]], though the vehicle has options for two more sponsons to be mounted (each with another Lascannon and Twin-linked Heavy Bolter) plus a pintle mounted heavy stubber, which raises the bar to eighteen. This option can only be taken on the GW plastic kit, as the old Forge World models were shorter, sillier-looking, and had no place for them. These were given their own pattern in the fluff, and thrust upon an unsuspecting Forge World (the ''other'' kind) to make and produce for all eternity. There are two patterns of the Baneblade, the Mars and Lucius pattern. [[Skub|Debates rage on what the difference and advantage between the two and which pattern is better.]] Whatever is the case the Baneblade excels in its job at being adaptable to different environments.
|-
| [[File:Banehammer.jpg|thumb|You ever wonder where that frequent tremble stumbles around? Now you know.]] || '''Banehammer''' The Banehammer fields the [[Tremor Cannon]] in a forward-set casement, a weapon that can turn a huge segment of the battlefield into a patch of flying rubble, slowing down the enemy long enough for the rest of the army to destroy them. It can also carry 25 soldiers, and has enough room in the rear deck to let ten of them stand outside and fire. Like all of the variants of the Baneblade, the Banehammer came into being as the solution to a specific tactical need. Like its counterpart tank the Stormlord, it is a dedicated line-breaker, designed to deal with large waves of infantry. Where the Stormlord is exceptionally effective against Orks, the Banehammer is especially effective against the horrendously fast-moving Tyranid swarms and their notoriously resiliant larger bio-forms. The Tremor Cannon that replaces the original Volcano Cannon is a potent weapon adapted from a [[Squat]] design: it fires large self-propelled rockets with an incredibly hard tip which are designed to burrow themselves a set distance into the ground before exploding. The underground detonation creates a powerful shockwave much larger than the shell's explosion, which will impede the progress of any unit caught within it. Infantry will be thrown down and shrouded in dirt, while tanks will become bogged down and trapped by the shifting soil. While the Tremor Cannon shell itself does relatively little damage, it is the side effect of the underground explosion that is invaluable, pinning the opponent in place and making him vulnerable to sustained bombardment by the other artillery elements of the Imperial Guard. Additionally, since the Tremor Cannon is much smaller than the original Volcano Cannon, the Banehammer possesses a large empty hold, which can be used to either transport a small platoon of Imperial Guardsmen, or house a cramped but fully functional headquarters equipped with powerful Vox-casters and tactical arrays from which the officer in charge can lead his troops.
|-
| [[File:Banesword.jpg|thumb|Your fortifications immediately pulls a critical existence failure when this guy is around.]] || '''Banesword''' The Banesword is a siege tank and one of the most recent derivation from the (in)famous Shadowsword: its [[Quake Cannon]] can be fired as a barrage weapon at a massive range to destroy up to 15' away, use this to troll the [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles|WFB]] players on the next table. In all seriousness, The power of the Quake Cannon, combined with the armour of a super-heavy, has established the Banesword as the pinnacle of Imperial siegecraft. Many Imperial commanders would be willing to exchange two regiments for a single Banesword; such is the reputation of this tank. Indeed, Imperial combat doctrine holds an honoured place for the Banesword. It is unknown what the [[Iron Warriors]] would think of this, although they will most likely find this tank to be quite convenient in their specialty. Like the Basilisk, the Banesword's place on the battlefield is in the rear areas, obliterating enemy fortifications with long range fire. Like the [[Basilisk Artillery Gun|Basilisk,]] the Banesword can also be pressed into the frontlines. The Banesword's armoured mass and secondary armament of three sets of twin-linked Heavy Bolters and two Lascannons allow it to perform much more efficiently than a battery of Basilisks when fielded in this way. The Banesword dispenses with the most hampering disadvantage of the Shadowsword, namely having to disengage its engine before firing. However, like all super-heavy tanks based on the Baneblade chassis, it suffers from poor top speed and maneuverability, and the Quake Cannon's fixed setting requires the Banesword to be bodily aimed at its intended target. Additionally, the Quake Cannon is inefficient against enemy [[Titan]]s, for unlike the Lance beam from a Volcano Cannon, or the massive plasma burst from a Plasma Blastgun, the massive shell will be stopped by any remaining Void Shield, requiring the target's shields to be taken down before the shot is taken with any hope of success.
|-
| [[File:Doomhammer.jpg|thumb|Its like a Shadowsword on rental.]] || '''Doomhammer''' The Doomhammer is a tank-killer. With a modest 5" blast but stats befitting a tank hunter, the [[Magma Cannon]] can reduce all but the largest of titans to scrap. While the magma cannon's range or area of effect are not the equal of the Shadowsword's volcano cannon, it can still deal a death blow to unwary players thinking they are all hotshots for having a Titan on the field. Since shells did not have to be carried and the retrofits did not take up too much space, it can also carry 25 soldiers, and has enough room in the rear deck to let ten of them stand outside and fire. The Doomhammer was first designed as a field conversion of a Banehammer tank during the 1000 year-long siege of the Renegade Forge World of Odana. By replacing the Banehammer's Tremor Cannon with a Magma Cannon the tank gained the ability to severely damage or outright destroy vast swathes of enemy vehicles. During the siege, armoured vehicle attrition rates outstripped supply and thus Imperial commanders had to use replacements for their lost Shadowswords. In a way, you can think of the Doomhammer as the 'shotgun' of the Titan-killing Baneblades as it lacks the overall oomph, it makes up for the aforementioned troop transport and its ability to cover a decent amount of land into molten lava.
|-
| [[File:Hellhammer tank.jpg|thumb|Its like a Baneblade with small penis syndrome.]] || '''Hellhammer''' The '''Hellhammer''' has the same profile as the Baneblade -- it doesn't have a big armored casement like the others, but rather the same comically-small pivoting turret. It uses the [[Hellhammer Cannon]], which is shorter, but no less deadly than the Baneblade Cannon, and strikes harder but on a smaller area, giving exactly zero fucks about the cover in between. Basically, if you shoot it at a unit, and that unit is not a superheavy, you have killed that unit. And any sense of friendship you may have had with your opponent. The Hellhammer was built to provide short-ranged fire support in difficult conditions (like city fights), hence why the Hellhammer Cannon is used and why it has such comically short turret. You don't want your tank get stuck trying to cross a T-Junction due to "Overcompensation-Syndrome" now do you? The Hellhammer's primary powerplant is a Phaeton pattern 110 square kilo-cubits Adaptable Thermic Combuster, supported by a Gravis pattern Thaumic Resonance Crystal Generation Unit. Besides the standard Smoke Launchers and Searchlight it can be adapted to mount a Hunter-Killer Missile and/or a pintle-mounted Heavy Stubber/Storm Bolter. Some Hellhammers will replace the side sponsons with extra armour or even add two additional side sponsons, each armed with a Lascannon and twin-linked Heavy Flamers.
|-
| [[File:Shadowsword2.jpg|thumb|The bane of Titans everywhere.]] || '''Shadowsword''' The Shadowsword is a [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|titan]]-killer. With a D-strength [[Volcano Cannon]]. It is considered the sister-tank to the Baneblade and ''EVERYTHING'' else outside the two of them are consider cheap knock-off wannabe tanks. Some Forgeworlds simply can't make Volcano Cannons or the complicated targeting computers intended to go with them, so they mount different guns and are sold off to Imperial Guard regiments in place of Shadowswords to fill requisitions. You'll find several variants listed below. "Real" Shadowswords are registered on Mars as soon as they get manufactured, and the Adeptus Mechanicum keeps a paranoid level of attention regarding their wherabouts so they know where they are at all times. Even amongst "dedicated" Shadowsword tanks, there seems to be very little rules difference for telling genuine vehicles apart from counterfeit ones on the tabletop; one might assume that the targeting computer sponsons ''(granting +1 BS)'' indicate a authentic Mars registered vehicle. Either way; the Shadowsword has a very good chance of bringing down even the biggest of titans. This guy is your friend. It will be there for you when something absolutely ''must'' die and must die ''now''. GW and Forgeworld both make kits for these -- the GW kit can make seven other tanks, but FW's kit has the targeters, a bigger engine and a travel mount for the cannon to rest on.
|-
| [[File:StormLord.jpg|thumb|[[MOAR DAKKA|DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA]]!]] || '''Stormlord''' The '''Stormlord''' is designed with but one purpose: to waste [[MEQ]]s. With the most dakka seen in Imperial armies (hell, ANYWHERE) in the form of a [[Vulcan Mega-Bolter]] (that can fire ''twice'' if the tank sits still), the ability to have up to 20 of its 40 passengers fire from its fighting platform and the option to have four lascannons, this tank WILL END enemy infantry! Unfortunately it just ''HAD'' to share the same turret mount as the Shadowsword, making it impossible for the Stormlord to turn its Vulcan Mega-Bolter around without turning the entire tank around. [[Derp|Ironically this makes it a pain in the ass when fighting in close and narrow environments like urban areas, places where the Stormlord is meant to shine the best.]] [[Herp|Seriously, try and do a parallel parking with this monster when trying to aim at some scrubs hiding behind a concrete wall.]] Despite the unfortunate implications, this is still probably one of the best super-heavy tanks in the game due to the amount of fire power that you get. 30 s6 ap3 shots at 60" range, 9 s5 ap4 shots at 36" range (twin linked) and 2 s9 ap2 shots at 48" range. Then you get 20 models shooting out of the top. Though you wonder how the passengers fit without taking up room for extra ammo...
|-
| [[File:Stormsword.jpg|thumb|The Guard miraculously avoided a war with the AdMech over this tank.]] || '''Stormsword''' Originally built from salvaged Shadowsword or Stormblade tanks, because those Volcano Cannons and Plasma Blastguns are blisteringly difficult to manufacture, the Imperial Guard just put wide-bore Cannons on the hulls and gave them spare Hellhammer Shells to fire. Needless to say these [[Heresy|"unsanctioned" modifications]] got the Mechanicum's collective jimmies rustled up. But because the vehicles were still good at what they did, the Imperial Guard commanders kept the vehicles listed on the roster in spite of what anyone else was thinking. Yet, in an uncharacteristically grown-up move, the Mechanicum actually capitulated on the matter and started making Stormswords themselves, upgrading the "Hellhammer Cannons" with dedicated "Stormsword Cannons" which have much the same range and effect, but a bigger blast radius. The '''Stormsword''' excels at city fighting. It is able to turn entire building blocks to dust with a single shot. The tank's main weakness is the short range on its [[Stormsword Cannon]] and lack of a hull-mounted Demolisher cannon.
|}

====On the Tabletop====
The Baneblade and its variants are all statted out in full in the recent ''Codex: Astra Militarum''. The premier superheavy tank of the Imperial Guard, the Baneblade tanks make for a formidable base to build an army around and a source of a lot of heavy weapons fire. All Baneblades have the same statline: at T8, W26 and a 3+ save they're more than able to soak up quite a lot of the fire they will inevitably attract. And while its BS4+ doesn't seem like a lot, thanks to its Steel Behemoth rule it can fire all of its Heavy Weapons (which is everything it has except its Storm Bolter, which as a Rapid Fire weapon isn't affected by this anyway), as well as fire and charge on the same turn it Fell Back. And thanks to 9 attacks at S9 AP-2 DD3 it can deal a surprising amount of damage, but don't send it into a fight against things like [[Terminator]]s. The Baneblade starts to deteriorate at half wounds, losing three of its 10" movement, its BS goes down by one and it loses 3 attacks. But because it's so tough, it can take quite a beating before being diminished as long as your opponent doesn't have Lords of War on the battlefield as well.

At 390 points for most of the variants with a maximum of 430 for the Stormlord, Baneblades are at a base level pretty affordable. They all get different main weapons, and all of them have a pair of Heavy Bolters as well. The Baneblade and Hellhammer get an additional [[Autocannon]] and [[Demolisher Cannon]], and the Hellhammer also has a [[Lasgun]] for some reason. All of them can take either one or two pairs of sponsons, each equipped with a [[Lascannon]] and either two [[Heavy Bolter]]s or two [[Heavy Flamer]]s. Note that you can mix and match as you see fit: if you have only one pair you can pick one with a Heavy Bolter and the other with a Heavy Flamer. Sponsons cost 34 for the Heavy Bolter and 50 for the Heavy Flamer. The points really add up though: 68 for a pair and 136 for a full set of Heavy Bolters, and 100 and 200 for the Heavy Flamers. But when you look at the firepower you know you've got the good stuff. Four Heavy Flamers net you 8D6 S5 AP-1 D1 shots that auto-hit, while the four double Heavy Bolters, paired with the standard one, nets you 30 S5 AP-1 D1 shots at 36" range. And don't forget the 4 S9 AP-3 DD6 shots from the four Lascannons. Note that the Heavy Bolter option is 20 points cheaper than an equally-equipped [[Heavy Weapons Squad]]. The Heavy Flamers are expensive, but other tanks are bound to a maximum of 3 for a comparative higher price tag (aka the tank they're on). The Baneblade can also take a pintle-mounted [[Heavy Stubber]] or [[Storm Bolter]], and a [[Hunter-Killer Missile]] for good measure. The Heavy Stubber is the superior option (albeit twice as expensive at 4 compared to the SB's 2) most of the time: only when decked out with Heavy Flamers or when facing enemies that charge the tank the Storm Bolter is superior. The Hunter-Killer Missile is neat, but with the massive arsenal the tank's lugging around it's not necessary. Because of its massive array of weapons charging one is a very bad idea: even when only hitting on sixes the sheer volume of fire will mean that you'll get hit.

{|border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 align=right style="margin: 1em;"
|-
! Tank || Name || Range || Type || S || AP || D
|-
| Baneblade || Baneblade Cannon || 72" || Heavy 3D6 || 9 || -3 || 3
|-
| Banehammer || Tremor Cannon || 60" || Heavy 3D6 || 8 || -2 || 3
|-
| Banesword || Quake Cannon || 140" || Heavy 2D6 || 14 || -4 || D6
|-
| Doomhammer || Magma Cannon || 60" || Heavy 2D6 || 10 || -5 || D6
|-
| Hellhammer || Hellhammer Cannon || 36" || Heavy 3D6 || 10 || -4 || 3
|-
| Shadowsword || Volcano Cannon || 120" || Heavy 3D3 || 16 || -5 || 2D6
|-
| Stormlord || Vulcan Mega-Bolter || 60" || Heavy 20 || 6 || -2 || 2
|-
| Stormsword || Stomsword Siege Cannon || 36" || Heavy 2D6 || 10 || -4 || D6
|}

The table contains the main guns of all eight tanks, but they're more than just statlines attached to a tank:

* The '''Baneblade''' is the standard against which all other tanks are held. The Baneblade Cannon drops potent damage at a reliable rate, allowing you to blow up all but the heaviest of tanks in a single shot of its main cannon. It is also one of the two variants that carries an Autocannon and a Demolisher Cannon for that extra bit damage. As is, the Baneblade is a great long-range support tank.
* The '''Banehammer''' is more of a tactical vehicle for the special rule that applies to its Banehammer Cannon: if a unit is hit by the gun (not wounded, no unsaved wounds: ''hit'') its movement is halved and it cannot advance next turn. This makes it an ideal gun to shut down enemy units that need to be places to be the most effective: this especially works well agains tanks or transports. While lacking the firepower of the Baneblade, the Banehammer grants a unique tactical option. While the Banehammer is a transport, its long range means that you'll have to consider if you want to get close to disgorge your cargo and risk being shot at even more.
* The '''Banesword''' hits less often than most other variants, but it hits ''hard'' with its Quake Cannon. S14 means that all T7 and lower targets are wounded on a 2+, and its hefty AP-4 means that even Terminators have to watch out lest they are vaporized. On top of that, its D6 damage comes with the catch that all rolls of 1 and 2 count as 3, so infantry that gets hit will be vaporized immediately and even monsters will think twice about walking into its range of fire. And with 140" it's a lot of range indeed.
* The '''Doomhammer''' has a gun that is more or less a Melta weapon in that it gets to roll twice for damage and take the best one. At S10 AP-5 it's more than capable of dealing with super-heavy vehicles like [[Land Raider]]s and [[Monolith]]s. The 30" range that this requires you to be in is very close, but this does make it a more viable transport than the Banehammer. The second-most expensive of the lot at 420 points.
* The '''Hellhammer''' is the second variant with a Demolisher Cannon. Its main gun ignores the bonuses granted by cover, but with only 36" range you'll have to get very close in order to get its shots in. Its range might be short, but its firepower makes it a souped-up version of the Baneblade Cannon. Costs 410 bare.
* The '''Shadowsword''' is what you field if you want to bring down enemy Titanic units. 3D3 is an odd roll, but puts out a reliable 6 shots that at S16 down even T8 targets on a 2+. And with 2D6 damage anything hit by it will feel it. On top of that, the Shadowsword gets to re-roll failed Wound rolls against Titanic units, and it gets +1 To Hit against them as well. That means that the Shadowsword has to take out any fitting targets it faces ASAP lest it gets put down before it can do so.
* The '''Stormlord''' is the odd duck out with its Vulcan Mega-Bolter. A flat Heavy 20 means that it is ideal for putting down large swathes of infantry and ha a good shot at even the tougher ones. Despite being a Bolter weapon it's got a massive 60" range, making it a powerful anti-vehicle weapon at range. But because of its massive transport capability (40!) it's used best as a close-range fire support vehicle, allowing you to haul a massive force towards the enemy to disgorge onto the objectives you cleared with your massive firepower. Because of this the array of Heavy Flamers work well to support the Stormlord, but do note that this nearly doubles the hefty 430 point cost of the vehicle.
* The '''Stormsword''' is tank meant for short range attacks, carrying a Stormsword Siege Cannon to deal with tough targets. Not only does it ignore the bonuses granted by cover, it also has re-rolls on damage rolls of 1. While those two things only really overlap against tanks in cover, the Stormsword can deal a decent amount of damage against just about any target.

All in all, most Baneblade variants are really helped by the Heavy Bolter sponsons: not only are they cheaper they don't need you to be as close to your enemies. While the Heavy Flamers can deal more damage they are hamped by their range and damage output, and work best on those variants who already need to be close to the enemy to use effectively. The pintle-mounted weapons are good, but not required; the same goes for the Hunter-Killer Missile.

=====Power Ratings=====
The tanks find themselves in the 26-30 points range, which is rather hefty. This point cost does include all the goodies, so don't be afraid to splurge on two sets of sponsons, a pintle-mounted weapon and a Hunter-Killer Missile. You've paid for them already, so you might as well use them.

===Other Imperial Models===
{|border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="margin: 1em;"
|-
| [[File:Fellblade.jpg|thumb|THIRTEEN BARRELS OF HELL.]] || '''{{Main|Fellblade}}''' The Fellblade is the [[Space Marines]]' main super-heavy tank, not used very much since the [[Horus Heresy]]. It's not so much a variant of the Baneblade as a sibling tank, with a unique [[Forge World]] kit to make it and a couple of its own unique subtypes.
|-
|[[File:Yarrick34b.jpg|thumb|Yarrick's fortress of WHERE ARE MY PRUNES.]] || '''Fortress of Arrogance''' It is of no surprise that [[Yarrick]] has his own personal Emperor-mobile in the form of the '''Fortress of Arrogance'''. [[Awesome|The Fortress is a sweet-ass black and gold plated Baneblade with unique decals and armaments.]] The Fortress was refitted with an armored cupola, giving Yarrick a "pulpit" from which to command and inspire. The turret also includes enhanced sensor and communications arrays making it far more accurate and have a longer range and penetrative shot than the regular Baneblade. This makes the Fortress of Arrogance an excellent HQ command choice as the ability to inspire nearby troops provides a good morale boost in the midst of battle. Unfortunately Yarrick was [[Herp|pretty bad at maintaining his mobile house of pimps.]] During the the Battle of Golgotha, the tank was crippled by a [[Stompa]], and Yarrick was forced to abandon it when the Imperial forces were routed from the planet. This is the scene of the above mentioned boggle of stupid. An Adeptus Mechanicus Reclamator expedition found the remnants of the venerable Baneblade, [[Fail|after losing like several hundred Guardsmen and two battalion of tanks.]] In a scene of a miracle, the Fortress was barely [[Looted|defiled]] by the [[Orks]] and was able to be fixed by the [[Mechanicus]] in prime condition. It is unknown what Yarrick did with his tank. Chances are, Yarrick would most likely use his tank and proceed to piledrive it into [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka's]] [[Anal circumference|anus]] in [[Octarius War|Octarius.]]
|-
| [[File:Stormblade_Arkurion.jpg|thumb|When you need that horde of [[Tyranids]] to fuck off right now. Accept no substitutes.]] || '''Stormblade''' The Stormblade is armed with a titan-scale [[Plasma Blastgun]]: a [[plasma]]-hurling death weapon that eats [[MEQ]]'s, hordes, hordes of MEQ's, and even light tanks for breakfast. With better range than the Stormlord and a blast radius so big that [[Grey Knights|Plasma Siphons]] feel even worse about existing, it excels at killing hordes of anything in [[Apocalypse]]. Even vehicle hordes. Its origin story starts on the Forge World of Ryza, where despite having the best reputation with regards to plasma technology, they couldn't build Volcano Cannons for Shadowsword tanks. So as an alternative to a giant D-Gun they slapped a giant plasma gun instead. Luckily, because the Shadowsword chassis was so massive, removing the the laser generators meant there was plenty of space for a cooling system, so the tank never ''Gets Hot!'' from overuse. As mentioned above, Stormblades in Epic used to have Hellion Missile launchers to add to the amount they could [[Rape]] Titans, however in current 40k they no longer have them. The fluff reason is because the missiles had a tendency to self detonate when exposed to enemy fire, resulting in several tanks being destroyed by their own missiles. So it was figured that the tank and plasma blastgun were more precious than the limited-use ordnance that came as an aftermarket extra, so the missiles were withdrawn. There is also a Legion Astartes version because Forge World got tired of making additional versions of the [[Fellblade]].
|-
| [[File:Stormhammer1.jpg|thumb|If it weren't so weirdly asymmetrical, it would have been a decently designed tank.]] || '''Stormhammer''' The Stormhammer is a [[Solar Auxilia]] tank for 30K. It differs from the old epic version in that it only has three barrels of battle cannons - a twin linked two shot hull mounted battlecannon and the (if we use naval terminology for the thing) Superfiring S9 AP2, 7" blast Stormhammer cannon with shred and pinning. The standard secondary weapons are six [[multilaser]] sponsons which can be swapped out for heavy bolters or heavy flamers for free or lascannons for a cost, a coaxial multilaser and a hull mounted lascannon. Optional toys are a pintle mounted [[C.S. Goto|multilaser]] or heavy flamer and up to 4 (!) HK missiles. All the firepower is rounded out by a 6+ invulnerable save against blast and template weapons, and the ability to reroll failed dangerous terrain tests. The sponson weapons can be traded out individually, letting you choose any combination of multilasers, heavy bolters, heavy flamers and lascannons you want. It fills the same role as the Baneblade as a general purpose superheavy, with a gun for every target. The Stormblade offers more flexibility in loadout, and having 6 sponsons that can be individually customized for any situation allows it to engage even more targets compared to the Baneblade. The original Stormhammer was outfitted with two twin-Battle Cannon turrets and four pairs of Heavy Bolters, along with options for pintle storm bolters and four more sponsons, meaning it could mount seventeen fucking bolters if you were willing to pay for it. The problem? Its turrets all pointed different directions. Parking this thing in the intersection of a city table and pointing its turrets down the streets, however, was as good as denying the area to the enemy completely, unless somebody brought a Deathstrike.
|}

===Non-Imperial Variants===
{|border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="margin: 1em;"
|-
| [[File:Chaos_Decimator_Tank.PNG|thumb|Suck on this Corpse Worshipping Scum!]] ||'''Decimator''' The '''Decimator''' is a Super-Heavy Tank used by the [[Chaos Space Marines]]. Although most have been changed considerably by their time in the Eye of Terror, the Decimators were originally precursors to modern Imperial super-heavy vehicles like the Baneblade, Shadowsword and Stormsword, the last of which it most closely resembles in function. It is like the only super-heavy tank that the forces of Chaos have without being forced into [[Daemon Engine]] territory or exclusively sucking Papa [[Nurgle|Nurgle's]] dick. Decimators are armed primarily with a heavy, medium-ranged barrage weapon such as the unique Decimator Cannon which was a [[Rape|S10 AP2 weapon of rape,]] supported by several reaper autocannons, and are used to bombard enemies in cover. It has a unique rule called the '''"Decimator Tank Shock"''' which forces enemy infantry to take a test which will always have –1 to their Leadership if they are tank shocked by a Decimator. It should not be confused with the [[Decimator]] [[Daemon Engine]], although they are both intertwined in being moving hunks of metal that can make you piss your pants.
|-
| [[File:Plaguereaper.jpg|thumb|Probably the best thing to ever come out of Santa Nurgle's merry gifts and sharing.]] ||'''{{Main|Plaguereaper}}''' The '''Plaguereaper''' is a Baneblade variant exclusive to the forces of [[Nurgle]]. It's a corrupted baneblade chassis with its baneblade cannon replaced with a giant pus-cannon, which bathes a large area with a contagion that causes the body of whoever's afflicted by it, to erupt in boils and their flesh broken down before their very eyes in seconds.
|-
| [[Image:Skullhamma.jpg|thumb|An Orkified Baneblade. Are you fucked? Yes you are.]] ||'''{{Main|Skullhamma}}''' What happens when orks get hold of the massive engine of armored destruction that is the Baneblade? They make it twice as big (by welding armor plates and guns where there's a gap) and fast (by giving it a ridiculous super-charged engine so big it probably houses several lost gretchin communities).
|-
|[[File:Pert's_Tormentor.PNG|thumb|[[Perturabo|"FUCK YOU DORN, FUCK YOUR FORTIFICATIONS AND FUCK YOUR]] [[Thunderhawk#Ætos Dios|FLYING FORTRESS!"]]]] ||'''Tormentor''' The '''Tormentor''' AKA Pert's personal car is a modified Shadowsword of the [[Iron Warriors]] [[Primarch]], [[Perturabo]]. It is a really pimped out variant that boasts additional armour plating on all sides, extended command and control functions, a 15-model transport capacity with added rear access point, an even more enhanced Volcano Cannon and a Titan grade Void Shield. [[Get shit done|When Pert does it right, he gets it done.]] The Tormentor is a vehicle befitting for a Primarch. It is still not known whether Pert uses this as his personal car so he can run over and crush any pedestrian vehicle that pissed him off lately. But what is known is that the Tormentor is a clear sign of Pert telling [[Rogal Dorn]] to go fuck himself as he destroys Dorn's fortifications. In terms of tabletop, the Tormentor can be spent with a +500 points in a 3000+ points or more game. The Tormentor uses the Dedicated Transport rule and can carry a scary number of battle-automatons and Iron Warrior troops. It also doesn't take up a Lord of War slot.
|}

==Dawn of War series==
===DoW I===

In the Dawn of War PC game the Baneblade is the IG super-heavy unit, equivalent to the [[Chaos]] [[Bloodthirster]] [[Daemon]], or [[Eldar]]'s Avatar of [[Khaine]]. Only it's better because instead of a winged Daemon cow or a big flaming homosexual in a loincloth, it's a fucking giant tank. It is literally the best of these master units in the game, and it will go toe-to-toe with any other such unit and kill them before they kill it. Every time.

Its a well known fact that the crew members of Baneblades are chosen exclusively on the grounds of how big their balls are. This makes them able to shout "[[FAIL|Failure]] is the weakness of the enemy!" "Ready to unleash ELEVEN barrels of hell!" and "All guardsmen, Follow ME to GLOOREEEEY!" and being the only badass non-Hero unit in the entire [[Imperial Guard]].

===DoW II===

The Baneblade was introduced in DoWII's second expansion: Retribution, as the Imperial Guard's super heavy unit and one of the superunits, a title it shares with the [[Swarmlord]], the [[Great Unclean One]], the Avatar of [[Khaine]] once more (notably, the Avatar along with the Baneblade are the only returning superunits from the first Dawn of War series), the [[Battlewagon]], and the [[Land Raider]] Redeemer (which is a different variant from the one in Dawn of War). It makes a centerpiece appearance in the second mission of the campaign where a renegade one chases your characters around while the crazy Scottish driver yells "IDDACARE WHOO YOU ARE! FELL DA MIGHTA'DA BANEBLADE!!" [[FAIL|It then gets sodomized by rudimentary anti-armour turrets]]. On the upside, if you're playing space marines, you get to watch the Emperor's Fury running around a jungle path being chased by a giant tank (Benny Hill music optional, but encouraged).

It's still a moving fortress of rape that can decimate multiple tanks at a time and blow hordes of enemy units to bits and the strongest and toughest vehicle in the game (since it can't transport infantry like the Battlewagon and Land Raider Redeemer, it compensates with more firepower). The main difference is that while its main weapons systems (the BEHNBLADE cannon and the Demolisher Cannon) do much more damage than before, they don't function like the rest of its guns, they're used for special abilities that require manual targeting to fire, and cannot be fired at targets within minimum range. On top of that, this Baneblade has only TEN BARRELS OF HELL: the co-axial autocannon is there but is non-functional, which considerably reduces the overall firepower of this beast. Needless to say, the Baneblade requires a ton of support to use effectively, or otherwise it will be taken down in melee/at close range by just about anything (though all super units need support as well, so that's nothing new). Also, it's size means it can have difficulty maneuvering on certain maps (DoW II maps tend to not have as much open space as the original's).

The Baneblade has achieved a bit of a mini-meme status because of Captain [[Apollo Diomedes]] of the [[Blood Ravens]], who has this tendency to scream: ''"EET IS THE BEEEEHHHHNNNBLLADDDE"'', [[Indrick Boreale|in the most awesomely hilarious voice]] possible, whenever he sees one. Unfortunetly, this meme is already old and overused.

==The Novel==
The novel, titled Baneblade, is about Lt. Lo Bannick and his quest to redeem himself from the grievous sin of killing his cousin in self-defense. He does this by signing on to the nearest imperial guard unit and starts the novel commanding a squadron of [[Leman Russ]]es and then after an Ork ambush he gets a spot as third gunner on the ''Mars Triumphant''.

In short it's written so you could fap to how [[awesome]] the Baneblade is. Ironically, the real star of the book is a dangerously intelligent Ork Wierdboy who's aware of the Emperor's presence in the warp.

The sequel novel is entitled "Shadowsword" and follow's Bannick's adventures as he grows disillusioned with the Imperium of Man and gets told to pilot a Shadowsword because its soul feels guilty over being used by Orks before the Imperium salvaged it back. When he destroys a warp gate to prevent a daemonic invasion, his commissar tries to execute him and his entire crew for seeing [[Chaos|what should not be known.]]

==External Links==
* [[Baneblade Homebrew]]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpGr8MBE65k Russia made a scaled-up RC variant. Makes me wonder what the US did wrong not to get one too.]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpBngmCpUrU Captain Diomedes' hit single: IT IS THE BEEEIIINBLADE!]
* [http://www.blacklibrary.com/warhammer-40000/baneblade.html A Black Library's novel: BEEEIIINBLADE!!!]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyHRQgDhHZ0 THE BANEBLADETERIUM!]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNxAd6O0LLU How to build all eight versions of the Baneblade with just one model]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Winterassault.jpg|[[General Sturnn]] likes it hot and heavy.
Image:Baneblade.jpg|ALL GUARDSMEN!
Image:Baneblade2.jpg|FOLLOW ME TO GLORY!
Image:Shadowsword.jpg|Make a compensation joke at your own expense.
Image:LOLBaneblade.jpg|The track is broken and the sponson turret has a beef with the driver. This is an official image, by the way.
Image:Baneblade full cover.jpg|''<s>Multiple'' Baneblades. Start panicking.</s> Neh, that must be Vance Stubbs missing Baneblades. And that is not a reason to panic?
Image:Stormhammer.jpg|The ''original'' variant of the Stormhammer. This time, Quad-Cannons for quadruple the fun!
Image:Baneblade Motivator.jpg|Pew pew, bitches.
</gallery>

{{40k-Imperial-Vehicles}}
{{Imperial-Guard}}
{{Lost-and-Damned}}

Noxious Blightbringer

2017-10-11T07:00:49Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C:

[[File:Blightbringer1.jpg|250px|right|thumb|Ding-dong the Corpse Emperor is dead!]]

The Noxious Blightbringer (God that name just sounds pretentious) is a dark reflection of the noble Legion banner bearers of old, who carries a cursed plague bell that tolls with the death knell of his victims. Like the giant bells from the atrocious looking [[Nurgle Plague Tower]], the plague bell as upholded by the Noxious Blightbringer reigns in psychological dread from the weak minded and boosts morale from the forces of the Plague Father. The Noxious Blightbringer is also armed with a pretty sweet looking Plasma Pistol, but nobody cares for that.

Every Plague Company counts Noxious Blightbringers amongst its ranks, but they are especially prevalent in the vectoriums of the 3rd. Such warbands as the Putrid Choir or the Dolorous Gnaw rarely take to the battlefield without two or three Noxious Blightbringers to herald them into battle, while Lord Gothax always has seven Blightbringers accompanying him.

The Blightbringer comes equipped with the iconic cursed plague bell, a plasma pistol which can be supercharged and some blight and krak grenades. An interesting fact of note is that the plague bell is not some special equipment, but it is in fact a [[Wat|melee weapon.]] How in [[Mortarion]]'s rotting testicles that a overhung bell can be used to smack around guardsmen is both [[Derp|funny and stupid at the same time.]] But of course the [[Fluff]] states that the bells are capable of generating [[Sonic Weaponry|sonic waves that bring pain and disorientation to the enemy]], but if that was the case, it would have made sense to turn this into a ranged weapon with the sonic prefix rather than some over glorified flail. Another [[FAIL]] from GW, with the only sensible explanation being that the 'Cursed Plague Bell' listed as their weapon is instead the smaller one held in their hand, not the larger one on their backs. On the other hand, it is amusing to imagine them rearing back and headbutting an enemy into the ground with said giant bell.

Of course each Death Guard army is equipped with the disgustingly resilient rule which makes them a particularly pain in the ass to remove and destroy. In the Blightbringer's case, it has a special rule called '''Tocsin of Misery''' which is the ultimate [[Troll]] ability to fuck with enemy leadership. Any enemy within 7" of the Blightbringer must subtract 1 from their leadership (Psykers must subtract 2), meaning its not-so-good news for more [[World Eaters|choppy-]][[Orks|aligned]] [[Blood Angels|armies]] especially when said ability will buff any nearby friendly Death Guard unit. Seriously any friendlies within 7" of the Blightbringer can roll two dices when advancing, [[Rage|discarding the lowest result]] when determining how far the unit advances. Never has the word [[Bullshit]] been more apt.

{{Chaos Space Marines}}

Daemon Engine

2017-10-11T05:52:29Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Undivided */

A '''daemon engine''' is, as the name suggests, a machine which has been constructed/fused with a [[Daemon|Daemonic]] entity, resulting in the combination of the two into a living mechanical creature that often is all but unstoppable.

Daemon engines can be found in many shapes and forms in a number of RPGs and miniature games, often representing some of the greatest horrors, and most derpy models, in those settings.

==[[Warhammer 40,000]]==
In Warhammer 40,000, daemon engines first appeared in the [[Specialist Game]] ''[[Epic]]'', a sort of precursor to ''[[Apocalypse]]'' that used really small models to try and depict mega-huge conflicts. Daemon Engines were the Chaotic counterpart to the various non-[[Titan]] Imperial mega-mecha.

After Epic vanished into the mists, daemon engines were of little importance in the Chaos Space Marine codices; for a considerable time, the only equivalent were "Possessed Vehicles", which were vehicles given an upgrade so that they were possessed and controlled by daemons. Proud fa/tg/uys will recall that back in 3rd Edition, there were actually ''two types'' of vehicle possession: the first was standard vehicle possession which bestowed an immunity to crew shaken/stunned results, as there was no crew to be shaken; the second was called "parasitic possession" and granted the vehicle the ability to un-immobilize itself or regrow destroyed weapons on a 4+ at the beginning of every turn. Then [[Gav Thorpe]] thought Chaos needed to suck so he threw on some stupid fucking downsides. First, he limited which vehicles could be possessed, meaning no more possessed chaos dreadnoughts; take our word for it, they used to own. Second, possessing vehicles reduced BS because apparently possessing a vehicle with high-BS greater daemons or even fucking Bloodletters was totally out of the question for some retarded reason! Traditionally, transports couldn't take this upgrade as the hull had to be sealed in order to hold the Daemon inside it but then Gav thought that he was [[Matt Ward|someone]] [[Robin Cruddace|else]] when writing the codex and decided to totally ignore the canon; this resulted in transports like the Rhino and Land Raider being able to be possessed but at a chance to eat a passenger and sans 1 BS. Finally, 6th Ed's CSM and Daemons codex decided to take another swing at Daemon engines by effectively turning the upgrade into better extra armour (again, at the expense of one ballistic skill) and so what was traditionally an immunity to crew shaken/stunned is now ignore shaken/stunned results on 2+; not bad by any stretch, but inferior to what it replaced.

Right, back to history: the first "proper" daemon engine to grace the fields of Warhammer 40k was the [[Defiler]] back in 3rd edition, a giant six-legged crab/spider walker with a big cannon, claws and an intense amount of terror added. It's important to remember that in those days, it counted ''both'' as a walker ''and'' a monstrous creature and though it had a hilariously weak WS2, it also had full BS4. Such was its popularity that further daemon engines have been added to subsequent codices, allowing a Chaos army in 40K to unleash Defiliers, [[Maulerfiend]]s, [[Forgefiend]]s and [[Heldrake]]s. With the birth of ''Apocalypse'', many of the older daemon engines have also returned, and new ones have joined their ranks with Forgeworld creating yet even more fuck-awesome Daemon engines! Hell, even some of the Chaos-aligned Titan models are shown to be daemonically possesed; open up the cockpit and you'll see the crew's been assimilated by nasty growths and visibly writhing in agony. That's Chaos, for you.

A current complete listing of daemon engines would be as follows...

===Undivided===
*'''[[Defiler]]''' - The original 40K Daemon Engine, a crab/spider tank created specifically for hosting daemons. Based on the Dreadnought, and brainchild of [[Abaddon]]. Appears in the [[Chaos Space Marine]] codex. Specific God-aligned variants known as the Slaughterfiend (Khorne), Desecrator (Nurgle), Debaser (Slaanesh) and Deceiver (Tzeentch) have appeared in other sources, mostly the Fanatic Online fan-zine, but were also a thing in 3rd edition when that was allowed (and excellent).
*'''[[Soul Grinder]]''' - A <s>Cyberdemon</s> Defiler "reforged" in the Warp so the daemon has greater control over the machinery (yet has nearly identical stats to the Defiler, barring the better armour). Highly prized by the daemons themselves, to the point they actually form an independent faction in their own right. Appears in the [[Chaos Daemons]] codex.
*'''[[Decimator]]''' - A sort of daemon-controlled uber-Chaos Dreadnaught; known for being remarkably resilient. A Forgeworld original unit that has yet to appear in any story lines and appears to have been made because Forgeworld just loves randomly cranking out the coolest shit!
*'''[[Forgefiend]]''' - Hulking bestial daemon engines that specialize in showering enemies with ranged death. Appears in the [[Chaos Space Marine]] codex.
*'''[[Maulerfiend]]''' - The Forgefiend's melee-specialist cousin, specializing in tank-killing and bunker-busting. Appears in the [[Chaos Space Marine]] codex.
*'''[[Heldrake]]''' - A dragon-like daemon-possessed flyer. Appears in the [[Chaos Space Marine]] codex.
*'''[[Death Wheel]]''' - A self-propelled, spike-encrusted siege weapon that basically rams its way through obstacles and over infantry. Appears in the Black Legion e-book supplement for the [[Chaos Space Marine]] codex. Do not confuse with '''[[DOOMWHEELS]]'''
*'''[[Wirewolf]]''' - A unique type of deamon engine created by Magister Anakwanar Sek that was famously encountered and destroyed by [[Tanith First (And Only)]] on the planet Gereon.

===Khorne===
*'''[[Lord of Battle]]''' - A Titan-sized mechanical replica of a Bloodthirster mounted on a giant tank for a lower body. Appeared in Epic 40k.
**'''[[Lord of Skulls]]''' - Essentially a revampled Lord of Battles created by Games Workshop for ''Appocalypse''.
***'''[[Kytan]]''' - Basically a Lord of Skulls with legs instead of tank treads. Also infamous as an anti-knight unit.
*'''[[Cauldron of Blood]]''' - A huge tank/storage tanker fusion that sprays gouts of molten-hot daemonic ichor over foes. Appeared in Epic 40k.
*'''[[Tower of Skulls]]''' - A tank/cathedral cross featuring huge tower-turrets made from the skulls of slain enemies. Appeared in Epic 40k. Revamped by Forgeworld for Apocalypse.
*'''[[Death Dealer]]''' - A mechanized siege tower equipped with a mechanical warrior at the front for hitting things with. Appeared in Epic 40k.
*'''[[Blood Reaper]]''' - A huge mobile gun battery. Appeared in Epic 40k.
*'''[[Doom Blaster]]''' - A massive tank that sports four super-heavy mortars, used to bombard enemies from afar. Appeared in Epic 40k.
*'''[[Brass Scorpion]]''' - A daemon engine that resembles a huge mechanical scorpion with a supped-up gatling gun "stinger", a mouth-mounted Demolisher Cannon, two front-mounted "Hellmaw" pattern flame cannons, and a pair of giant mechanical pincers or motorized saws for ripping things up in melee. First appeared in Epic 40k, revamped by Forgeworld for the Siege of Vraks and Apocalypse. Also appears in the ''Tome of Blood'' sourcebook for [[Black Crusade]].
*'''[[Blood Slaughterer]]''' - A daemon engine vaguely resembling a blade-limbed spider or monstrous tick. First appeared as a "Chaos Robot" in the early 2nd edition/late 1st edition. Revamped by Forgeworld for the Siege of Vraks. Also ppears in the ''Tome of Blood'' sourcebook for [[Black Crusade]].
*'''[[Blood Throne]]''' - Basically a chariot for Heralds of Khorne and a damn deadly one at that! Appears in the Chaos Daemons codex.
**'''[[Skull Cannon]]''' - A Blood Throne revamped and repurposed into a motorized artillery piece that shoots bone fragments at its enemies. Appears in the [[Chaos Daemons]] codex.
*'''[[Skull Reaper]]''' - A legendary Titan-sized daemon engine that resembles a mechanical Bloodthirster with one arm bearing a chain axe and the other being a turbo-melta. Appears in the ''Tome of Blood'' sourcebook for [[Black Crusade]].

===Nurgle===
*'''[[Nurgle Plague Tower]]''' - A daemon-infested, diseased pus-spewing mechanized siege tower. Appeared in Epic 40k.
*'''[[Contagion]]''' - A trundling daemon-possessed catapult that launches diseased projectiles. Appeared in Epic 40k.
*'''[[Plague Hulk]]''' - A Nurglite variant of the Soul Grinder with far more pestilential attacks. A Forgeworld original unit made for the Siege of Vraks.
*'''[[Blight Drone]]''' - Plague-spreading insectile VTOL hovercrafts. A [[Forge World]] original unit made for the Siege of Vraks.

===Slaanesh===
*'''[[Daemon Knights#Hell-Strider|Hell-Strider]]''' - A comparatively small corrupted Imperial Knight that uses a central lascannon and twin melta-beams to hunt down armored foes, relying on speed and mobility to get close, make an attack and escape. Appeared in Epic 40k.
*'''[[Daemon Knights#Hell-Scourge|Hell-Scourge]]''' - The largest of the corrupted Daemon Knights of Slaanesh, these daemon engines hunt in packs using bristling bolters and their powerful Castigator cannon to scythe down whatever gets in their way. Appeared in Epic 40k.
*'''[[Daemon Knights#Hell-Knight|Hell-Knight]]''' - Corrupted Imperial Knights that use their speed, mobility and powerful (if short-ranged) Thermal Lance to slay enemy heavy armor. Appeared in Epic 40k.
*'''[[Slaanesh Subjugator]]''' - A corrupted Scout Titan that uses its daemonic Hell Claws, lascannon and brain-scrambling Psi-Pulse to suppress enemy units so other Chaos forces can advance behind them. First appeared in Epic 40k, received a revamp for Apocalypse and also appears in the ''Tome of Excess'' sourcebook for [[Black Crusade]].
*'''[[Questor Scout Titan|Questor]]''' - A heavier corrupted Scout Titan that specializes in ranged firepower, most iconic being its rapid-fire Tormentor cannon. Appeared in Epic 40k.

===Tzeentch===
*'''[[Fire Lord of Tzeentch]]''' - A daemon-possessed super-heavy assault aircraft that used lascannons, Flame Cannons and firestorm bombs to devastate opponents. Appeared in Epic 40k.
*'''[[Doom Wing]]''' - A daemon-possessed aircraft that uses a hellfire-spewing Flame Cannon to burn down enemy fliers and infantry alike. Appeared in Epic 40k.
*'''[[Silver Tower of Tzeentch]]''' - Castles ripped out of the ground and carried along by the sorcery of daemons and sorcerer-cabals and used to rain psychic death on anyone below them. Appeared in Epic 40k.
*'''[[Aether Ray]]''' - A daemon engine that resembles a mechanical manta ray, created by the sorcerer-technocrats of Q'sal as a means of personal transport. Essentially an artificial Disk of Tzeentch that can be big enough to carry squads instead of one person. Appears in the ''Tome of Fate'' sourcebook for [[Black Crusade]].
*'''[[Mirrorfiend]]''' - A giant beetle-like daemon engine containing a raging Greater Daemon of Tzeentch that uses powerful psychic abilities, including an aura that makes viewers see their worst fears and darkest memories reflected in its shining surface, to kill those who oppose it. Appears in the ''Tome of Fate'' sourcebook for [[Black Crusade]]. You wish there was a model/rules for this fucker!
*'''[[The Auruntaur]]''' - A unique daemon engine that resembles a monstrous, cyclopean Soul Grinder, created on Q'sal but impossible to control. Appears in the ''Tome of Fate'' sourcebook for [[Black Crusade]].

==[[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]]==
Daemon Engines were one of the few occasions that 40k preceded Fantasy. Although Daemon-possessed armor existed, warmachines having a spirit was something added in later editions.
In [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]], the [[Chaos Dwarfs]], always such cheery fellows, decided to get in on the action and create their own hell cannon, which is powered by feeding people into the maw of the cannon which then fires their spiritual remains as powerful barrages. For a while the chaos dwarfs that came with the cannon as crew were the only official ones made by [[Games Workshop]]. Thankfully, [[Forge World]] have now made a whole load of chaos dwarfs models so you field an army of the tusky psychos and whats more they have a whole host of daemon engines now, including a daemon train powered by death to pull all of your engines into battle. All hail the rape train of dwarfy death!

The Skull Cannons, and dual Slaaneshi Chariots represent the Daemon side of things.

{{Chaos Space Marines}}

[[Category:Daemons]][[Category:Vehicles]]

Khorne

2017-10-11T05:26:44Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Champions Of Khorne */

[[File:Khorne mark.png|center]]
[[File:khorne_by_baklaher-d7335e6.jpg|500px|thumb|right|The Big K. Sitting comfortably on his Skull Throne, being pissed off at everyone and everything.]]<div style="font-size:1.10em;font-weight:bold;font-style:italic;font-family:serif;margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em"> BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES! - The creed of Khorne being Overused to Death'''</div>

''"Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him."'' 
-Louis L'Amour

''"The important thing in life is not victory but combat: it is not to have vanquished but to have fought well."'' 
-Pierre de Coubertin

''"War is the father of all." 
-Heraclitus

''"Who was the first that forged the deadly blade? Of rugged steel his savage soul was made."'' 
-Tacitus

{{heresy}}

==Introduction==
'''Khorne''', also known as Kharnath, Arkhar, Khorgar, [[Viking|Kjorn]], Khar, the Bloody Handed, the Axefather, the Bloodwolf, The Great Khorneholio, Special K, the Wolf-Father, Frowny Face McMurderaxe, Sergeant Slaughter, the Lord of Fighters, [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|The Parapeligac Sociopath]], Angry Jesus, Definitely not fucking Khaine and 8870 other names, is the [[Chaos God]] of war, murder, savagery, hatred, rage, wrath, battle, and [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs|manliness]]. He is also the mofo that the Klingons worship. As well as this he symbolises courage, athleticism, determination, daring, discipline, sportsmanship, honor, impulsiveness, and struggling onward in the face of any odds. But mostly he's simply about being angry.

He is commonly held to be the strongest Chaos God by default, and is associated with wolves and powerful hunting dogs, as well as lions and bulls. For another reason that is likely inspired by occultism, Khorne's sacred number is eight - and thus, his followers tend to organize themselves into groups of eights and its multiples. Fun fact, this also means that the names of Khornate daemons are usually comprised of eight syllables.
[[File:SkullThrone.jpg|400px|right|thumb|The Big K in all his glory contemplating on whose rectum he is going to shove his chainaxe into with extreme prejudice.(Spoiler: its everyone)]]
Khorne, by virtue of being the most powerful Chaos God, is also the most powerful general "divinity" in both iterations of Warhammer. In both versions of Warhammer, his followers are characterized by an overbearing need to spill blood and engage in honest battle, as well as a violent code of martial honour and a "survival of the fittest" approach to morality. They tend to be dutiful, as well, but said duties involve whacking their axes into their enemy and painting their blood all over villages gargling their blood as mouthwash (if only because Khorne's only real command is to spill worthy blood in his name).

This is where Khorne and Slaanesh generally clash as enemy gods. While Khorne instills discipline, honor and a sense of selfless duty towards his followers to obey a single purpose (I.E: Spill blood in his name), Slaanesh is the polar opposite. Slaanesh instead tells his/her followers to do whatever they want for their own selfish pursuits for pleasure, not caring the consequences of such acts. (I.E: Using your authority to hoard food from your starving citizens, so you could indulge in bottomless gluttony everyday.)

This is also why Khorne is at odds with Tzeentch: Tzeentch sees things like honor and discipline as unnecessary hamstrings towards one's advancement and opts that everything is on the table when one wishes to further their position (I.E.: Why duel your Chaos Lord for his position when you could arrange for an "accident" to happen to him instead? Sure its a low-blow, but if your lord was too stupid to not see that betrayal coming, was he really deserving your loyalty?). The same can be said for his disdain of sorcery. Tzeentch thinks that mortals using the power of the gods themselves is fair game in their pursuit of progress (so long as you can control it), while Khorne thinks that using anything else but your own strength alone means you are weak and his "survival of the fittest" ideal has no place for you.

Khorne also has the distinction of being the only Chaos God whose word you can take at face value. They don't realize that disdain for scheming and backstabbing isn't the same as being stupid. Nor do they realize that over-complicating things is actually the worst thing a planner can do. Any plan that relies on more than one variable to succeed (ie: the vast majority of Tzeentch plots) is almost always doomed to fail ([[Just as Planned|that said Tzeentchian plans have divination included into them, eliminating most tactical miscalculations]], [[Not as Planned|unless Tzeentch wanted it to happen.]]). So you actually want results? Be practical. Involve only as many steps as you need (IE: Beat someone up, until they're reduced to a bloody smear on the ground).

Basically, Khorne isn't a stupid brute, he's actually pretty smart. The god of battles knows a thing or two about tactics and warfare. That said, Khorne's doctrine is inflexible. One, straightforward approach to anything. Simply put: Break everything in half. Which means that it all rides on an "all-or-nothing" deal. If his battering ram approach doesn't work there's little to be done to salvage the situation beyond everyone dying a glorious death. Usually this isn't the case for most battles, the Khornates' overwhelming need to quench their bloodlust gets in the way of reorganization. Of course, if things go according to plan, there are only few things that can stop the demonically-possessed no brakes hate train.

If Khorne had a voice actor it would be BRAIN BLESSED!

Yes, Brain Blessed apparently.
===Appearance===
Khorne is described as resembling a giant, iron-hewed warrior clad in red armour, with a massive sword and a winged helm that conceals a snarling face like that of a wolf. This humanoid form could be seen as something darkly meaningful, were it not for the fact that more or less everyone in both settings is conveniently human-shaped.
[[File:Khorne First.jpg|thumb|right|400px|The first depiction of Khorne in Warhammer art.]]
Of course, most artists at GW forget that he's supposed to look a giant Chaos Warrior and instead make him look like an overgrown Bloodthirster on a chair.

===Khorne and His Worship===
Khorne is the easiest god ever to worship. Where [[Tzeentch|other]] [[Slaanesh|more]] [[Nurgle|pussified]] gods may demand you to memorize overly long prayers and hymns, or to build huge houses of worship and other such unmanly bullshit, Khorne is venerated with one thing and one thing only: the time-honoured tradition of [[rip and tear|hack'n'slash]].

Khorne is worshipped on the battlefield. His hymns are the sound of steel on steel, his prayers are the blows of hammer and axe and the bellowing of 'Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull throne!" and his sacrament is blood spilled in his name.

In essence, you worship Khorne by being a good warrior. And as a warrior, you'll find your interests and his tend to generally align; he wants death but isn't picky on who, and you want to live to fight another day. Thus, the mere act of preserving your life will earn the pleasure of the god of battle.

However, Khorne is one of those honourable war-gods. So don't think that beating your enemies by anything other than sheer strength, skill and aggression will make him happy. And for the love of Sigmar/Empra, don't try to cheat by picking fights with the weak or helpless or by giving him baby skulls. Khorne expects a form of savage, viking-esque dignity from his followers and for them to be generally [[Fist of the North Star|manly]], this means you have to fight worthy opponents and those generally able to at least hold up a sword. ''Only after'' the worthwhile enemies are out of the way; then you can gorge yourself on the blood of women and children all you want (or make them fight amongst themselves and recruit the survivors, or enslave them, or whatever). Most of the writers forget this, thinking that Khorne really gives no fucks about what you kill, and it makes Khorne [[Rage|snarl in anger]]. Though he continues to send his flesh-hounds to hunt down those who flee and abandon their brothers on the battlefield, be they Chaos or non-Chaos.

Aside from that, Khorne has no commandments whatsoever. But deviating from the aforementioned in the slightest is begging for the flesh-hounds to tear your ass apart.

Such as it is, it would be incorrect to think Khorne doesn't have priests dedicated to him. Though, being a warrior god, these priests tend to be warriors themselves and are often marked by their god. In essence, the only difference between them and a Chaos marauder/Space Marine is several pounds of armour. In Warhammer Fantasy, these priests are called 'Bloodfathers', and in lieu of magic that is gifted to their priests by other gods, Khorne just gives [[AWESOME|HOLYSHITAWESOME]] fighting skills and visions of bloodshed. In [[skub|Age of Sigmar]], they're called Slaughterpriests and they basically lead by example, killing while screaming out Khorne's name. If the killing is good enough, Khorne will empower the priest and/or his allies; but if the killing is unworthy, the priest himself will feel Khorne's wrath.

Khorne is also venerated by working brass into your armour and weapons and donning fashionable high collars. Occasionally, a warrior so pleases Khorne that he gifts him with specially made ones that in addition to looking fabulous can also grant total fucking immunity to magic.

Anyway, Khorne is worshiped by warriors, generals and basically anyone who likes battle. His chosen Space Marines legion is of course the World Eaters, in Warhammer Fantasy, the Norscans tend to venerate him with the greatest piety, especially the Aesling tribe, who are Khorne's most devoted servants in Fantasy.

===Khorne's take on magic===
As posted by an Anon some time ago, he perfectly summed up what Khorne's opinion on magic is: FUCK WIZARDS!!!!

Okay, here's what the "FUCK WIZARDS" thing means.

Note that the hate of psykers/wizards/etc is pretty much the exact same and works by the same logic for both Khornates and the SoB/Black Templar/etc. Its a [[Conan the Barbarian|Conan-esque]] kind of swords and sorcery thing. Khornates hate wizards for [[3e|trivializing encounters with a single spell and overshadowing fighters]]. They hate turning what should be a military endeavor into a weird wizard show where people turn into frogs. They hate Slaaneshi for the same reason, they take what should be a wholesome murder fest and make it into something creepy and weird, what with them "discomporting themselves with the dead" and all that. In Realms of Chaos, its entirely possible for a librarian or wizard to go to Khorne. They just refrain from using their powers, and only use their psi/magic (in combat) to resist spells from that point onward.

They are okay with laser beams. They are okay with sniper rifles. They are okay with flaming swords. They are okay with running people over with tanks. They are okay with chemical gas. They are okay with exterminatus. They are okay with holocausts. They are okay with blitzkriegs. They are okay with honorable duels at dawn.

They are not okay with turning people to frogs, mind controlling people, raining glitterdust from the skies to blind everyone, raising armies of zombies to do the killing for you, and so forth. They are not okay with someone pointing their finger and you dropping dead. They are okay with rituals to summon demons. They are okay with navigating the warp without crashing into suns. They are okay with sending astropathic messages. They are okay with chaining wizards up and forcing them to eternally forge magic items on pain of death.

You may consider it hypocritical that Khornates are okay with blatantly unfair TECHNOLOGICAL murder, but not okay with blatantly unfair MIND/MAGICAL murder, but the point, or at least one interpretation, is that wizards/psykers fucking cheat. They do. They steal the power of the Warp for their own ends. As long as they stay in line, and do nothing but permit the warrior to enact his craft, fine, let them live, albeit in terror, enslaved by chains of brass until the day they are no longer useful, at which point their skulls can join Khorne's throne.

But stealing the Gods' own fire and using it to do what mortals should do through their own skill and strength is unacceptable. Remember that technology is completely valid to Khorne. Stealth is completely valid to Khorne. Skill is completely valid to Khorne. Cleverness is completely valid to Khorne. The nuclear bomb and other innovations that come after it could be seen to be unfair. But it is a mortal invention. Mortals should give honor to Khorne by murdering each other through the sweat of their brow.

The scientist who devises new ways to kill is a saint. His work can be put to any other use -- [[Slaanesh|enriching human life]], [[Nurgle|ending hunger, fighting diseases]], [[Tzeentch|answering great questions]]. But the scientist who devises new bombs and weapons is, in his own way, a champion of Khorne. He takes his limitless human potential and nobly limits himself to new ways to kill. Whether you kill with a sword or a bomb, you are killing using good old fashioned mortal strength and genius. You aren't stealing warp energy from the gods in the form of a fireball and cravenly calling it your own.

The forger of enchanted weapons, though deserving of slavery and abuse as all wizards are until the day they die, is an ideal symbol. It is fitting that spell energy be subjugated to and entombed within cold steel, just as wizards deserve to be subjugated to warriors until they lie cold and headless in the ground or else burnt to ash. The magic weapon is a symbol of might's superiority to magic.

The jury is still out on whether or not Khorne is okay with magically imbued people.

Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne! When the Galaxy burns, we will define righteousness!

tl;dr Magic is unmanly, grab a sword (or a 16-inch battleship cannon, if that's your thing) and go kill like real men do already.

===Khorne and other Chaos gods===
As a rule, Khorne despises [[Slaanesh]] because s/he's an effeminate milk-sop who can't grow a beard or swing an axe like she's got a pair (even though she's probably got the biggest pair, but less on that), and also because he personifies acting outwardly (ie: seeking the deaths of others), while Slaanesh acts inwardly (ie: pleasuring him-/herself). Khorne also finds Slaanesh's obsession with luxury and torture wasteful and dishonorable. Slaanesh is about living it up while Khorne is about tearing it the fuck down.

Khorne also hates [[Tzeentch]], though they are not fundamental rivals, because his reliance on magic is seen as a sign of weakness and his desire not to face his foes in person is decried by Khorne as cowardly. Khorne sees his penchant for deceit and trickery as dishonorable. Also Khorne prefers muscles over books.

Khorne thinks he hates [[Nurgle]] also, because the fat fuck doesn't even try to get shit done. Thus, his embodiment as sloth runs contrary to the active, vital aspect of Khorne, but he's all for death if its by homicide or genocide.

Of all the Chaos gods, Khorne actually hates [[Malal]] the least. For one thing, he respects the lost god for sticking to his guns: he hates the other gods, wants them dead and is actively working towards that goal. Since Nurgle just sits there being a scabby procrastinator, Tzeentch just has to have his fingers in everyone's business and Slaanesh is fucking Slaanesh (no literally, s/he is fucking him/herself right now, go look if you don't believe me), this is something Khorne can sympathize with. Also, Malal is the only chaos god to put up a halfway decent fight when Khorne manages to find him, which would mean that they would be best buds if Malal wasn't a self destructive, omnicidal lunatic.

In short he hates everyone and pissed at everyone, including you even if you worship him (usually its a matter how pissed he is at you). And they hate him too. Except for Nurgle, who's too nice to hate anyone.
Except Tzeentch. The know-it-all, indecisive, over-thinking, birdy bastard...

===Khorne and non-Chaotic Gods===
Well, [[Ulric]] is his little brother and they tend to get along rather well. Ulric's still ridiculing Khorne over the fact that one of his greatest champions, Haargroth, got his head smashed in by Ulric's Ar-Ulric, Khorne usually replies by pointing out that ''Storm of Chaos'' isn't canon anymore. Not that that stops Ulric. Khorne and Ulric often get into arguments over which one of them is moar Viking; with Khorne usually winning by pointing out that his top worshipers actually are Vikings and that he has a Valkyrie. They also settle this with arm wrestling and drinking contests. There's a lot of belligerence, but you can sense the brotherly love underneath. Indeed, it's kind of a [[Fist of the North Star|Raoh/Ken relationship]].

Despite both being war-gods, Khorne has a poor relationship with [[Myrmidia]]. Khorne, despite being a master of tactics and sieges and the finer points of warfare, vastly prefers a manly head-on charge, and Myrmidia's sissy "planning" approach to warfare therefore offends Khorne. Most meetings between the Blood God and the Maiden of Strategy end with the Blood God fuming impotently because his strict code of martial honour does not permit him to hit girls (or pull their hair) and retreating to his tree house.

Khorne is the only Chaos God who tolerates Sigmar because he thinks he's pretty bad-ass AND respects the idea of a mortal man becoming a god. That and Sigmar's comic book series, Sigmar the Emprahrian, has great splashpages of fights and no SWORDSWORDSWORDS. However, this tolerance is only one-sided, and while Khorne respects him, it doesn't mean he won't try to put an axe in his head for being an sworn enemy of Chaos.

When asked about the [[Emperor]], Khorne usually responds with a streaming torrent of bloody curses and oaths which causes a bloody froth to start leaking from his helmet. In short, he is remarkably indifferent to the old man. Ironically, they share many of the same beliefs: They both disliked psykers, they both have a kick ass thrones, and they both have units dedicated to close combat. Hell, even the Emprah's head is a skull. What's not to like?

Khorne is utterly sick and tired of anyone who dares associate him with [[Khaine|40Khaine]]. Before eviscerating anyone who makes that connection, he will often give a short PowerPoint presentation, explaining how Khaine is an honourless god of murder and sadism while he himself is a god of honourable and forthright battle and courage, and how sadism is contrary to his code (Khorne indeed used to be about honorable combat, but now he's just about mindless violence and hating everyone for either piss-poor reasons or for no reason at all. Goddammit, GW). Khorne then reiterates that Khaine's elfishness and love for scantily clad women is sickening and makes him more like Slaanesh... Of course, this is just a front on Khorne's part. Khaine's love of war combined with his elfness and that his most ardent worshippers are scantily-clad women proves Khaine to be the secret love-child of Khorne and Slaanesh (tsundere confir- *sounds of violent, painful evisceration* '''{{Blam|WHO DARES? IN MY OWN PAGE, OF ALL THINGS? FUCK YOUUUUUUUU}}''' '''''[[Slaanesh|Search your feelings you know it to be true]].

That being said, Khaine does have a dual nature in Fantasy thanks to being worshiped by [[Dark Elves]] and paid respect to by [[High Elves]], where one side is indeed honorable and just wants to keep fighting and being badass which means Khorne can tolerate him approximately half the time. The fact that both are patrons of [[Blood Bowl]] teams is usually the common ground, with Khaine and Khorne crashing/trashing some other God's house to watch on game nights while downing can after can of Bloodweisers and shoveling Dwarf Rinds in their faces. Khaine periodically tries to invade the realm of Khorne whenever the Khornate team beats the Dark Elf team, with such meetings ending with Khorne individually breaking every bone in his body and spitting on the pain-wracked heap. When Khaine's team beats Khorne's, Khorne takes out his aggression by beating the fuck out of Slaanesh while Dark Elves go on safari hunting [[Warriors of Chaos|Khorne's worshipers]].

Khorne has absolutely no patience for the [[Horned Rat]], who is a favorite of Nurgle and Tzeentch respectively. It's a weak vermin whose very existence pisses him off. As a result, Khorne is much more fond of [[Sotek]] who encourages killing the fuck out of [[Skaven]] whenever they appear, and is also a fan of blood sacrifice (the fact that Sotek wants hearts and cares nothing for skulls is reassuring since they don't intrude on each other's fetish); this fondness is entirely one-sided.

Like the other Chaos Gods, Khorne has no fucking clue what the Great Maw is. However, it doesn't seem to complain when [[Ogre Kingdoms|Ogres]] worship Khorne, so he's got nothing against him...her...it...schclim...whatever, the big god-thing that wants to eat.

The pantheon of the [[Tomb Kings]] mostly stick to themselves, so Khorne only knows they exist..

Khorne is impressed with the [[Bretonnia|Bretonnian]] race by the fact they're the epitome of honor and glorious valor. On the other hand, their entire race has been tricked by a single fucking Elf Goddess into doing their every command which fills Khorne with incomprehensible fury. As it stands, the first being that's going to get the axe when Khorne manages to get an avatar to manifest in the material plane is Lileath.

[[Mork]] and [[Gork]]/Gork and Mork are Khorne's old drinking buddies. They piss him off more than any other beings in existence, but after a good 3-way beatdown and a few billion cases of squig beer he realizes they're alright company.

Khorne has a feeling that he'd get along with the gods of the [[Dwarfs]], but even their introductions (being long ass winded descriptions of their primary worshipers and their lineages) irritate him so much he can't even get into a conversation with them. One of them is STILL giving his own introduction, and has been for about 20,000 years or so now (and he hasn't even reached the changes that have happened since he started). Unable to make him aware of what's going on around him, Khorne simply moved him into the guest room and bricked it off with a wall of skulls.

As for the [[Tyranid|Bugs?]], Khorne hates them '''''Especially''''' due to them not having real blood, just vile alien ichor.

==His portrayal in Warhammer Fantasy==
He's a half-way mythologically accurate version of [[Viking|Odin]], whose very name means Fury (and one translation means 'frenzy'). You could also make the case that Khorne is Thor minus any protective instincts towards humanity, as both are whirling vortices of blood and spit who are associated with the colour red and its connotation of anger.

No, that's it. Get the fuck out; he's an axe-crazy, psychopathic, evil-as-balls daemonic version of Odin - so basically the Norse god of wisdom, with wisdom actually treated the way Vikings would have recognised. Currently there's a bit of a debate about how much of Odin he represents (see discussion page) so this bit will list the similarities and some of the differences.

Well, for one thing, Chaos worshipers in Warhammer Fantasy actually are Vikings. Read about them [[Warriors of Chaos|here]]. Secondly, Khorne is closely associated with wolves in that setting (one of Odin's names literally translates to 'Battle Wolf'), and even has a wolf-like pet in Karanak, thus, fulfilling a role similar to Freki and Geri, or more closely, Garmr. Also, it's revealed in Knight of the Realm that Khorne owns two hunting wolves/giant fleshhounds called Garmr and Gormr, with whom he partakes in a wild hunt across the heavens.

Another point of similarity is that both Odin and Khorne are war gods explicitly connected with berserker rage. They have their own warrior-cults associated with them who fight with said rage and Odin's Olfhednar are practically the same as Khorne's Chosen in both form and function.

Additionally, thanks to Valkia, Khorne also has a Valkyrie to further the similarity between him and Odin. This was inevitable, of course, given that the Warriors of Chaos are indeed an evil version of the Vikings as has already been stated. It should also be noted that Valkia's similarity to the Valkyries is not a superficial one. She is actually referred to as 'the Sword-Maiden of the Blood God' in the WoC codex, and is Khorne's Chooser of the Slain who carries those worthy champions and warriors of his to fight on in the Blood God's halls after death.

Finally, we got a glimpse of his neck of the Realm of Chaos in the Valkia novel written by Sarah Cock-well. It was basically Chaos Valhalla, and here's some of his quotes:

"A cleaved head no longer plots." "A head stuck on a pike no longer conspires." "Put to the sword they who disagree."

Now for the differences, aside from the obvious physical ones Odin also scries, it's woman's magic taught to him by Frigg and Freya. He's got the rage, yeah, but he's also all about fate and averting ragnarok, (directly opposed to Khorne's goals) even if he knows he can't stop it since fate works that way. We see this in the Havamal, Grimnismal, the Voluspa, and the Lokasenna. Hell, in Lokasenna, we learn he cross dresses, ie was tied into shamanic practices (Indo-Europeans have a thing for seers in drag). He can also get to Tzeentch levels with his planning and Odin's perfectly fine with Runic magic, whereas Khorne hates that shit.

==Champions Of Khorne==
===In 40K===
Because most fa/tg/uys are idiots and newfags who likely don't know that another Warhammer existed long before bolters and power armour. And this makes the Blood God snarl in anger.

* [[Kharn the Betrayer]]: Embodiment of Crazy Awesome and Patron Saint of fun guys everywhere. Kharn is Khorne's greatest mortal champion in 40K and has a wholly deserved reputation as a team-killing nuts:o. Once upon a time, Kharn was a straight-laced, meticulous Assault Captain of the World Eaters 8th company. But [[Horus Heresy|after a certain chain of events]] dedicated himself wholly to Khorne, thus becoming one of the most fucking lethal warriors in the galaxy as well as probably the most religiously devoted of Khorne's servants. Also notable for shattering two entire Space Marine legions by himself with a flamethrower in a single night. Despite this, since his first appearance (where he was no different from other Berzerkers) he became more and more coolheaded when not in combat (and even then there are moments when he is coolheaded in combat).

* [[Angron]]: '''HE! GETS! SHIT! DONE!!!''''. Khorne's foremost Daemon Prince alongside Doombreed. PERIOD.

* [[Doombreed]]: Khorne's greatest Daemon Prince ever and possibly either Genghis Khan or Turgeis the Devil IRL. Notable for launching an actually successful Dark Crusade that wiped out two Space Marine chapters. Which is more than a [[Abaddon|certain armless failure has pulled off]].

* [[Svane Vulfbad]]: EVEN IN 40K KHORNE'S CHOSEN ARE VIKINGS. Svane Vulfbad is motherfucking badass [[Awesome|Chaos Terminator Space Wolf Chaos Lord]] who grew tired of the Imperium's sickening effeminate inability to GET SHIT DONE and the Space Wolves' sickening fur-fetishes and instead decided to dedicated himself to a god worthy of his kickassery. He thus became a badass Chaos Lord dedicated to Khorne (because a berserker god of war who likes axes meshes well with Vikings) and slaughtered a shitton of Space Wolves despite being outnumbered and escaped Harald Deathwolf. He is currently rampaging throughout the Imperium. He has the best facial hair in all of 40k.

* [[Crull]]: A Chaos Lord from Winter Assault notable only for making idiotic statements, and utilizing Sorcerers in his warband when there's some possessing to be done. Also has a weird way of saying "drown".

* [[Azariah Kyras]]: A Librarian who somehow became a Champion of Khorne and who ascended to daemonhood. Presumably, his [[Awesome|speaking skills were great enough that the Blood God was able to give him slight leeway in regards to the 'no Psyker rule']], likely because he was a philosopher of carrion and slaughter, showing Khorne's way as freedom, freedom in meaningless, in mindlessness, which he accuses the functionings of the universe of. Khorne loves that stuff, existentialism for skulls, especially when it's an arch-traitor responsible for the deaths of billions, then declaring openly his allegience of Chaos to his fellow Mehreens as he is about to ascend as one of the most powerful daemon princes ever. A psyker who uses psykic powers to bring about good old kinetic Exterminatus, their reputation to raise covert cults of slaughter, discover their lust for combat and seek to encompass it, and ultimatedly be the poster child of Khornist Existentialism is too good of a chance for Khorne to pass up, who either wins against the galaxy or gets to devour Kyras' soul in a good long bloodbashing and probably still make a good Greater Daemon of Khorne out of him, probably the one and only Chaos tactical genius who could actually lead a Black Crusade properly. That's another reason Khorne likes him. Kyras' no funny business style of simply tearing a sector apart however possible tends to draw other Chaos God devotees under the wing of a Khornate champion. Here is the speech of doom that he gives the player's army (before the last level of the game ) or per canon, the Blood Ravens following Captain Diomedes before the climax:

"Faithful... enlightened... ambitious... brethren.

In but a single decade, a few mere swipes of the pendulum, we have gathered a sacrifice to Khorne that will be made legend.Though it was a simpler, weaker voice that illuminated me during my centuries upon the Judgement of Carrion... it was Khorne's messenger that showed me the true path of freedom from our pathetic corpse-Emperor.

And what is this path? This meaning, this purpose to which we gather the skulls of our foes? It is nothing. There is no meaning, no purpose. We murder. We kill. It is mindless savagery, this UNIVERSE IS MINDLESS!

In mere hours, billions will die. Innocent! Guilty! Strong and weak! Honest and deceitful! ALL of them! They will scream, they will burn, and for no purpose but that mighty Khorne may revel in their bloodshed! And united in this void of purpose, fear, or duty... we shall at long last be free!

BLOOD! FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! SKULLS! FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!! LET... THE GALAXY... BUUUURRRRNNN!!!"

Also notable as the single <s>longest-to-fucking-kill-boss in the history of the Dawn of War series other than [[Ulkair]].</s> ( '''Actually''' if you play tyranids and spam warriors with venom upgrades and he dies in uhnder 5 minutes.) '''FUCK'''. Still, pure undiluted awesome.

===In Fantasy===
'''VIKINGS!!!''' '''VIIIIIIIIIIIIKIIIIIIIIIIIIINNGSSSSSSSS!!!'''

[[Space Wolves|NO...]]

* [[Valkia the Bloody]]: A pissed off badass Valkyrie who chooses who will fight on in the Halls of the Blood God after they die in glorious battle. She managed to kill a motherfucking DAEMON PRINCE as a lowly, un-Marked, un-augmented human in SINGLE COMBAT to earn Khorne's favour, CUT ITS FUCKING HEAD OFF, AND THEN CARRIED IT BACK TO THE NORTH TO PLACE AT THE FOOT OF THE SKULL THRONE. And then she died on the way. But Khorne was so impressed by this badassery/ pissed off by her death, he resurrected her as a fucking Daemon Princess. Now she flies around the battlefields of the world slaughtering anything that looks at her funny and bearing Norsemen to the Khorne's place for a glorious afterlife of fighting and drinking. She is also far more attractive than anything of Slaanesh's menagerie, much to the Prince of Pleasure's eternal rage and the Bloodfather's great amusement, primarily due to having hair.

* Garmr Hrodvitnir: Aka Billy Squigins, A Chaos Lord of Khorne who managed to almost kill Gotrek Fucking Gurnisson in a fight. 'Nuff said.

* Hrothgar Daemonaxe: A Chaos Lord who only had his rules and miniatures released at a Games Day. He had the statline of a Bloodthirster. His miniature also depicts him throttling an elf, which makes him a good person.

* Arbaal the Undefeated: Nicknamed 'Arbaal the Easily Defeatable' due to his rules from Champions of Chaos having been shockingly awful. Arbaal's been effectively retcon'd out of existence under the excuse that he's journeyed into the Realm of Chaos to challenge Khorne himself to a fight. Good luck with that.

* Scyla Anfingrimm: The greatest You-Know-What ever to walk the earth. Scyla was a Chaos Lord of Khorne who got one too many mutations before his time and devolved into a YKW. But he's the most badass YKW ever, and is a leadership 10 general. Which is impressive considering the only thing he can say is "'''KILL FOR KHORNE! KILL FOR KHORNE! KILL FOR KHORNE!'''".

* Chaos Lord Varmisgal: A Chaos Lord who's blood has turned to liquid bronze. He is responsible for the stalking brass bull of Nuln and the great raid into the Misty Mountains... it is also alleged he ate his own penis.

* Valmir Aesling: A Norscan king and Champion of Khorne who destroyed the Norse Dwarf Hold of Kraka Drak. Managed to get a fucking Daemon Prince to work for him, slaughtered a metric fuck-ton of Norse Dwarfs (roughly 8 times the manliness of a regular Dwarf and thus worth 24 Space Wolves). [[Awesome|Also rode a motherfucking chariot pulled by skinless bears]].

* Egil Styrbjorn: A Norscan High Yarl of the Skaeligs and probably the greatest epitome of manliness a Chaos Warrior devoted to Khorne can achieve. He slew a lot and took names, kicked Bretonnian arses, sexed many women yet never got a proper heir (only daughters). It was so bad for him that he adopted a boy that became later his personal shamanistic seer and advisor...that is until he banged a Kurgan Sorceress that was prophesied by said shaman to bear Egil's son, yet the damned cheese eating surrender monkeys took her and his unborn son away, which he answered them with apocalyptic RAAAAAGE and titanic slaughter (added that said Sorceress wanted to sacrifice the unborn child for immortality actually made this a good situation). And thus there was an epic campaign to retrieve the boy. Wields two badass flaming axes called Garmr and Gormr. Really dislikes the Lady of the Lake and other Southerner gods. So manly he is that he let a Grail Knight stab him only to throw back his sword to him. Also known for embodying Khorne's tactical take on war, which he mercilessly used against the Bretonnian Knights that stubbornly charged his warriors head on (until said knights realized that they were duped and slaughtered in seconds).

==Fun Khorne Facts==
* Interestingly the word "Khorne" in Ancient Cypriot Greek literally means to "Shit Blood". Kh' - "To force outward", ORN - "Back passage", Ee - "Blood".
*A possible factor in Khorne's birth was the Aztecs, who basically worshipped the guy (Hint: BLOOD SACRIFICE) and might have chucked him into existence along with the Mongols.
*Doombreed, Khorne's second daemon prince servant, might actually be Genghis Khan himself.
*Khorne's color scheme (red, brass and black) is almost the same as the German flag's and Soviet Russia's flag's color scheme (just replace brass with gold [and brass and gold are already fairly similar in colour]). Hitler and Stalin were allies of convenience and then turned on each other in WW2, remember "(he) cares not from whence the blood flows..."
*Khorne's looking for ways to incorporate dinosaurs into his armies, due to the sheer amount of [[RIP AND TEAR]] they can unleash on their enemies. He's unbelievably pissed that he hasn't managed to get any yet- '''{{Blam|YOU GAVE IT AWAY?!?!? FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU}}'''
*Khorne <strike>secretly</strike> '''blatantly''' hates everyone who kills the defenceless in his name. He'd plot ways to kill them, but he's too mad to do that. (So what else is new?)
*Khorne was just able to stand watching Jurassic World once it got going due to the Indominus Rex and how it made everything else look like faggots. He raged when it died. He's looking for its skull 'cause he wishes he could have it as one of his servants- *sounds of swords and blood* '''{{Blam|FAGGOT!}}''' (Why couldn't Khorne just seek the skull of the Mosasaurus that killed it? Or Rexie, T-rex is classic, I hear you say.) To that, I answer that coz without the Mosasaurus then Rex would'a DIED.
*Khorne is unsure whether or not he hates [[Cultist-chan]], due to a) the fact that she can't do anything except scream about 'kap-tooring eet for kay-oss' and get purged and b) the fact that she's so good at spreading [[RAEG]] amongst various unlucky meatsacks and fa/tg/uys. And that indecisiveness makes him foam at the mouth in anger.
*Khorne practically invented flipping the table when you lose at card games, or it goes too slowly. He does this whenever the major Warp entities play cards in the Formless Wastes.
*Followers of Khorne actually have the ability to pull off [[LIIVI]]/[[Eldrad]] level dick-style moves in battle. They just choose not to do this.
*Khorne wanted [[Settra the Imperishable]] as one of his servants once. However, Settra won't ever serve Khorne, even going so far as to give ALL OF CHAOS the '''motherfucking middle finger''' before going off to hunt down [[Nagash]]. That said, Settra may well be one of the few mortal beings besides his own servants Khorne has any respect for. He still hates Settra though.
*Slaanesh once created some Kayos Spess Mehreens with his/her colour scheme, but with armour nicked off fallen Khornate warriors. And when Khorne saw this, '''his wrath was legendary'''.
*Slaanesh and Khorne also have regular 'plans' on Friday night- *sounds of something even bigger than a [[Bloodthirster]] coming through and much ripping and tearing* '''{{Blam|NO! YOU'RE LYING!}}'''
* [[Emperor|That Twat With The Chair]] and Khorne haven't '''SMACKED DOWN''' yet, but Khorne is secretly looking forward to it when it happens- he wants to test Spess Jaysis's might against his own. Tickets are now on sale!
*If an internet hyperlink comes up red, it's not because the page doesn't exist, it's because Khorne looked at what was once on the other end, and '''he didn't like what he saw''', so much so that the hyperlink is stained with the blood of what once was.
* Khorne's favorite form of grouping is in ogdoads, for reasons that should be obvious once you know what that word means.
* Khorne's favorite [[video game|vidja]] is [[Doom]]. For obvious reasons.

==Gallery==
{{promotions}}
<gallery>
Image:Khornate.JPG|Khorne's followers off the battlefield. REVERSE ARMWRESTLE!!!
Image:khornewaffel.JPG|Waffles for the Blood God!
Image:Khornetrainer.JPG|Khorne's trainers prefer violent Pokémon.
Image:khorneberserker.png|Would have been a somewhat adequate picture, had they taken the right photographs of the actual Berzerkers. Lulz.
Image:Khorne_tattoo.jpg|Mark of Khorne.
Image:Free like a riding demon by Ragathol.jpg|Khornette.
Image:Backwardsthrone.jpg|Just as Planned. Always. As. Planned.
File:Khornette.jpg|Khorne wants to know why the drawfags never give them noses.
File:Tea Time.jpg|In the grim darkness of the far future, there is still time for tea...
File:Khorne-Art.jpg|Warriors of Chaos: making everything in 40K look like bitches since 2002.
Image:You're_madder_than_Khorne.png|There '''is''' such a thing as being too mad for Khorne!
Image:Khorneholiover2.png |The Great Khorneholio. He needs blood and skulls for his bunghole.
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Nine months later Khaine was born...
Image:Anon_pleases_Khorne.png|Anon begins his trail to becoming a Khorne Berserker.
Image:Khorne Flakes.jpg|The tastiest of all! Add blood for more flavor.
</gallery>

==See also==

*[[Brass]]
*[[Berserker]] - Chaos Space Marines with Axes and a bad attitude.
*[[Angron]] - Daemon prince of Khorne and the Primarch of World Eaters.
*[[World Eaters]]
*[[Khârn|Khârn the Betrayer]] - A pretty fun guy to be around.
*[[Valkia the Bloody]] - Scarousal in it's purest form.
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Khorne_Daemonkin(7E)|Tactics/Khorne Daemonkin]] - That's right, meatsacks! The servants of Khorne have their own codex!
*[[Rage]]
*[[Sorcerers of Khorne]] - Double heresy!
*[[Doombreed]] - One angry son of a bitch.
* This pretty much sums up his forces: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-gSJW3sHXE&feature=channel_video_title
*[[Katanas_are_Underpowered_in_d20#Khorne_is_underpowered_in_40k|Khorne is underpowered in 40k]]
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vljHBXA3UKE - death metal song devoted to Khorne.
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8mEOiI4pjs - trash metal song summing up Khorne pretty well.
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUB9QGKCNmI - a bunch of anime Khorne worshippers. Better than it sounds.
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8mEOiI4pjs - another metal song devoted to Khorne. GW actually commissioned this one. Yes, they really were that awesome back in the day.

{{Template:ChaosGods}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]]

Skarbrand

2017-10-10T20:15:55Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Trivia */

'''Skarbrand the Exiled One''' was formerly the most powerful [[Bloodthirster]] in the service of [[Khorne]]. He was so powerful, in fact, that [[Tzeentch]] took notice and began encouraging him to kill, maim and burn even more in the service of his lord. This might seem counterproductive in the extreme, but eventually Skarbrand got so angry that he tried (and failed) to cheap-shot Khorne himself, [[Just as planned|just as Tzeentch planned]].

Khorne was [[RAGE|somewhat displeased]] with this treachery, and proceeded to choke Skarbrand of all thought or reason (insomuch as a Bloodthirster has either) until all that remained of him was his boundless rage. He then tossed Skarbrand away so hard that he flew for a solid week.

Skarbrand's wings were destroyed by the impact, but he kept on killing indiscriminately in the name of the Blood God. In fact, he's so goddamn angry that he makes everyone near him go crazy with blood-lust too. In a somewhat ironic twist of fate, he kills far more than he did when he was in Khorne's good graces.

He recently appeared on the fortress world Lutoris Epsilon and caused all the Guardsmen defending the planet to go all 28 Days Later on each other, which makes one wonder why Khorne doesn't just send him to Cadia. Probably the disowning for the whole "tried to kill me" thing. He then butchered his way out of a [[Grey Knight]] ambush on Phaedes Ekron. In his last known appearance, he was unceremoniously one-shot by [[Dante]], being cut in half and sent back to the Warp. Sadface.

That did not last long however, as he appeared in the second Gathering Storm book teamed up with a [[What|Masque of Slaanesh]] as part of a bet on who could slaughter the most [[Eldar]] on an Exodite world. Of course, that was all just so the [[Just as planned|Masque could use him]] to break though seals placed on a webway gate [[Just as planned|which led straight]] into [[Biel-Tan|Biel-Tan]] His reaction when he discovered this was... [[RAGE|interesting.]]

==On the Tabletop==
Skarbrand is a HQ choice for a Daemons army. He's got the standard 'thirster statline, minus wings. He has a S5 AP- template called "Bellow of Endless Fury" (yes, he's so angry that his roar can kill you) and a pair of axes called Slaughter and Carnage, which have Fleshbane and Armorbane, respectively. Note that this gives you an extra attack for paired CCWs. Plus, every unit, friendly or enemy, within 12" of him gets Rage and Hatred, including himself.
If made the warlord, all his attacks inflict instant death, giving you a ridiculous melee beatstick that will take down pretty much anything you point him at. Nine WS10, I10 hits, rerolling, on the charge that wound on 2s, ignore armor, and inflict instant death? That Wraithknight is done. And all this for less than the cost of a standard Bloodthirster of Unfettered Fury.

The problem, of course, is getting there: Skarbrand has no wings to get him into the backfield. A supporting Grimoire of True Names can help him get where he needs to be. And the bricks that an opponent will shit when your skarbrand rocks a 2++ from Warp Surge + Grimoire is worth every second.

== Trivia ==
*Skarbrand hates signs.
*Skarbrand hates knocking sounds.
*Skarbrand hates going outside.
*Skarbrand also hates going INSIDE.
*Skarbrand hates doorframes slightly less than the above things.
*Skarbrand spends most of his day to day life standing in doorframes.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Skarbrand_and_kairos.jpg|Being Skarbrand isn't all fun and games as Kairos explains
</gallery>

{{Daemons-Characters}}

Ork

2017-10-03T03:39:33Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Reasons it sucks to be an Ork */

{{awesome}}
'''''"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"''''' 
:-Da Orks, all da zoggin' time.
[[File:Orks attack3.jpg|600px|thumb|right|'Ere we zoggin' go, let's break sum' 'eads!]]
{{Topquote|War means fighting, and fighting means killing.|Nathan Bedford Forrest}}
{{Topquote|War is the business of barbarians.|Napoleon Bonaparte}}

The '''Orks''' are a race in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Commonly known as "Greenskins" or "the Green Tide", they're probably the most numerous and infestive race in the entire 40K setting, or at least on par with the [[Tyranids]]. They have a ''[[Warhammer Fantasy]]'' equivalent, the only major differences being that fantasy Orks are now called Orruks, and they have a (slightly) lower level of technology relative to the setting.

==Overview==
[[File:Ork_Boy.jpg|200px|thumb|left|[[Ork_Boy|The original Boy]]. This guy has been around since 2nd ed.]]
Orks are the most successful race of the [[Warhammer 40,000 | 41st millennium]]. Despite their entire lack of structured education or training, they seem to be very proficient with all kinds of technology, which they inevitably utilize for their armaments (of which firearms and vehicles are the most common). This is explained away in the fluff by their origins: they were created by the [[Old Ones#Warhammer 40,000|Old Ones]] to be a warrior race called the ''Krork,'' and some of them (the Mekboyz) were genetically hard-wired to have a pre-programmed proficiency for technological engineering. Unfortunately, the Old Ones died before they could finish their little science project; specifically the psychic control mechanism. The ancient Krork were known to have fought the ancient Eldar empire when the latter was at the peak of its power and were implied to have been a considerable threat (a Harlequin in M32 compares the nearly invincible hordes of the Beast as being like children compared to them).
This means that such war machines simply fight everything, everywhere, all the time. In principle, Orks can loot just about anything: the minor greenskins, such as "Grotz" ([[goblin]]s) can construct several working vehicles and machines out of mere scrap (They actually can't but orks believe they can so it happens see: a few paragraphs below).

The Orks derive much of their success from their reproductive process: Orks are, essentially, a psychosensitive hybrid of animal and fungi, not unlike a very complex version of a lichen. One advantage is a redundancy of vital organs, making them able to easily survive events such as head transplants and the fact that it's not easy to kill an individual Ork since they could very well survive injuries that would put a human to a crippled state. In fact there is a [[Valhalla|Valhallan]] folktale about a relative finding an Ork, [[Carnifex#Old_One_Eye|thawing it out only for it to attempt to kill them]]. Another advantage is their ability to grow larger as they win more battles (due to the aforementioned psychosensitivity): an Ork who is winning a fight is enjoying himself, which causes fluctuations in the gestalt field that all Orks generate. These fluctuations supercharge the Ork's physiology, causing the Ork to gain muscle mass and evolve. Consequently, if an Ork should somehow be incapable of fighting (like being imprisoned); they will actually ''devolve'' instead, causing the Ork to become pudgy and lethargic. This was observed during [[Xenology]] where a captive Ork was eventually found morbidly obese when the Inquisitor brought him out for dissection. Hence,the saying: "Orkz iz made fer fighten' and winnin'" applies literally in their case, as the incentives of fighten' and winnin' are what makes or breaks an Ork.

In addition, the fungal part of their physiology allows Orks to reproduce asexually en masse through underground fungal colonies that act as self-sustaining ecosystems. Reproductive spores enter the topsoil, produce fungal mycelia that assimilate base nutrients and could exchange genetic information with other mycelia, putting normal Human sexual reproduction to shame, and eventually produce lesser Orkoids: squigs and Grotz. The Grotz cultivate the protein-rich squigs in preparation for the emergence of the greater Orks, which take longer to develop. All in all, this cycle was designed to fight against the Necrons, which sterilized a planet to its bacteria. Orks can terraform a barren planet into a veritable paradise this way, though what defines "paradise" is a point of discussion; if you like endless wars and tribal conflicts in a mushroom rich planet, it probably is.

Though all Orks discharge reproductive spores throughout their lives, the most significant and numerous emissions occur when an Ork ''is dismembered or dies.'' This means that, for Orks, combat and death are their principal means of reproduction and genetic exchange, and a Space Marine/Guardsman chainsawing/shooting/artillery-bombarding an ork just results in ten thousands, if not millions, of Orks coming for ya, kinda like [[tyranids]]. Nice Job chainsawing it, Space Marine. Due to this, an Ork infestation is incredibly hard to handle if kept unchecked since it won't take them long to get enough boyz to launch a full-scale WAAAGH! to overrun an entire planet and necessitate [[Exterminatus]]. We can use flamethrowers, [[Plasma]], nukes, [[melta]] weapons or anything high-energy to eradicate any spores and fungi, saving the world from the eventual Exterminatus, but then again, efficiency ain't manly n' [[grimdark]] enough compared to good ol' spore-releasing bolters, chainswords and artillery.

Orks only have two popular combat doctrines: [[Choppa|choppy]], which involves giving your opponents a good stomping up close, and [[dakka|shooty]] which involves spitting out as many bullets as possible with an assortment of shootas, and the faster it shoots; the better. That said, a good shoota should also still be able to kill enemies ''while'' putting out a lot of dakka, otherwise it wouldn't be killy (and woe betide an Ork who isn't killy). Because of the Ork's naturally low penchant for accuracy; they typically get around this problem in two methods: the first one is to have a gun that simply shoots bullets as fast as Orkily possible that the wielder ''should'' be able to hit something eventually (strapping two or more shootas together is a crude but effective way to go about this). The second one is to make the gun really killy every time it shoots, like putting a dangerously high-explosive shell in a kannon that can obliterate an entire building in one shot.

Orks are commonly believed to be stupid and superstitious by the other races of the 40k world, but they can also be cunning and quick on the draw. Orks are always ready for a fight and while you can trick them, they quite like the idea of tricking people back.

Their philosophy of DA RED WUNZ GO FASTA is the ultimate truth: because of the aforementioned gestalt field, Ork vehicles painted red will, ultimately, go faster than Ork vehicles that are ''not'' painted red because the Orks believe that Red makes everything go faster:
DIS 'UMIE GIT THINKZ DAT DA RED WUNZ DON'T GO FASTA? DEY DON'T KNOW DAT ANYFING PAINTED RED MAKES IT DA BEST AN' MAKES IT GO FASTAAAA COZ RED IZ BEST! '''*WHAM!*''' NO IT AIN'T, YA BLEEDIN' SQUIG, '''GREEN''' IZ BEST! '''*Boots up the bog*''' SHUT YER GOB, 'E WAS TALKIN' 'BOUT DA TRUKKS, YA GIT!

We can assume that this cuts both ways, with enemies such as the Blood Angels and White Scars gaining the same boost due to their use of red paint.

A hallmark of Orkoid, for lack of a better term, civilization is the WAAAGH!. Pronounced similar to "war" as the "GH" is silent. Always written in all-caps, with at least three "A"s and an exclamation point, the WAAAGH! occurs when an Ork population reaches critical mass and a dominant Warboss appears. A Warboss is an Ork Alpha who is bigger than all the other Orks and have proven his right to lead by either his sheer size or krumpin' all the other big Orks that thinks otherwise. Lesser Orks sense the presence of the Boss in the Orks' psychic field and follow him on what is often described as a combination of pub riot and holy war with a dash of genocide. The WAAAGH! accomplishes two things: it weeds out weaker Orks, keeping the species strong; and it facilitates genetic exchange and reproduction as the Orks die and release spores.

The Ork economy is based on teef, more information on which [[toof|can be found here]].

Ork religious beliefs also help manage their population. Orks believe in two gods, [[Gork]] and [[Mork]]. One is the god of cunning brutality and the other is the god of brutal cunning, the difference being that one hits you when you aren't looking and the other hits you harder when you are. Unfortunately, no one can decide which god is which, nor can the Orks decide which is better: cunning brutality or brutal cunning. These differences of opinion tend to lead to Gigantic Brawls, yet another method of keeping the Ork race strong, warlike and in check. Their division also keeps them perpetually divided, for it has been theorized that if the Orks were to ever unite in one big WAAAGH!, their gestalt reality-warping field might just as well turn omnipotent and crush all opposition

Ork society is effectively the perfect society. Its society is a Kratocracy (A Government ruled by the strongest, fitting for Orks) in maturity as all disputes are settled fairly quickly and painfully (just the way they like it). The economy is steady, as teef grow and rot at a reliable rate. Once a Boss is in charge, mostly everyone falls into place, and the Orks go and [[/tg/ Gets Shit Done|get shit done]].

Also, they probably killed the Imperial Fists. All of them.

Fun fact: The orks use black and white on their shock troops, because it reminds them of the Luna Wolves who destroyed them at Ullanor. The orks do not fear death, but they do fear the Luna Wolves. That is right, Horus traumatized them as a race more than the fucking grim reaper. Note: Why would you fear death, if death usually results in you being reborn into several thousands of yourself? Horus probably swept the spores up post battle and that's why they fear him. Though it's also worth mentioning that Orks harbor a natural fear of Commander Farsight too, whom they know as "Da Red Commit". Though given that the Dawn Blade consumes the souls of those it kills, it's likely that any Orks cut down by Farsight do not reproduce. But then again he was committing Ork genocide long before he found the blade so...

==Ork Teknology==

[[File:Dat zoggin bigmek by majesticchicken.jpg|220px|thumb|left|A perfect example of Ork tech. Powered by make-believe and the essence of love, and patched together with duct tape and chewing gum, the emperor himself has truly never seen finer craftsmanship or innovation.]]

Ork technology works mainly because the Orks think it does. The official explanation is that the subconscious gestalt psychic field that all Orks generate enables their technology to function; the stronger the field, the more unlikely their technological achievements become. In older versions of the fluff, if you hand an Ork a pipe and convince him it's a gun, it WILL shoot bullets. They're like reality-warping Physical "Gods", only weakened by their stupidity and their preference to fight each other instead of uniting, hence why the Imperium still manages to survive in these dark times. In later versions, this has been toned down from "impossible" to merely "unlikely" because GW won't keep anything canon that's that [[derp|badass]]. If Ork technology is held together by spit, duct tape, and hope, then the Orks' psychic field provides the hope.

For example: a Wartrukk with a mob of Orks in it sputters and dies. Da boyz hop out and have a look.
One of da boyz examines the readouts and says to the Nob driver, "Da bloody fing is outta gas!"
Said Nob hits the offending Ork in the face so hard that he falls unconscious. "Look 'ere, I'z da boss, and I sez I filled this fing up righ' before we left!"
The rest of da boyz look at each other, halfway convinced. He ''is'' the biggest Ork among them, and he ''did'' just prove it. Maybe he ''did'' fill it up right before they left. That's the sort of thing one does when one's in charge. Da boyz begin to file back into the Wartrukk, and with a satisfied nod, the Nob gets in and cranks her up. Because da boyz believe that there is plenty of fuel in the truck, one drop does for ten, and the Wartrukk and da boyz arrive just in time for the next fight.

The purpose for this sort of thing is primarily to compensate for the Orks' technological disadvantage by comparison with races like the [[Tau]], [[Necron]]s, or the [[Eldar]]. For example, a meat cleaver in the hands of an Ork can tear through the toughest ceramite armor if the Ork believes it will; for anyone BUT an Ork, a power weapon or the equivalent would be required to do so. This tends to work well for them, but not for the other races of the galaxy: Imperial observers note that Ork weapons generally will not function in the hands of a non-Ork. The only reason the Orks haven't exploited the limits of their generated gestalt field by creating easily made but devastatingly powerful weaponry that could eclipse the weapons of the other races is that they themselves do not know nor understand that they create said field, they believe that their equipment works because that's how the universe wants it to work, not because they themselves are making it work. Which I guess makes it true. This, in turn, makes for an interesting paradox: If orks managed to understand the physical universe as it is, they would not believe their "weapons" work, thus, stripping them of their psychic advantage. If there is a little ounce of disbelief, this would wreck their ability to... believe hard enough so as to manipulate reality.

This said, Orky know-wots DO have a say in stuff that the Orks build. Mekboyz build much of the stuff they do because they have been genetically ingrained with the knowledge on how to make and maintain their technology. While much of their tech runs because they want to, the basis is that the Orks ''can'' actually build a conceptually working frame to get all Orky on. This explains how Orks can build such technological wonders as the Shokk Attack Gun, which propels [[Snotling|Snotlings]] through the Warp and into the armor, tanks, [[Rape|and bodies]] of their enemies. Also, there ''have'' been instances of Ork tech working well in the hands of other races,( at least for a time till it blows up). Be careful though, most Ork players have ''very'' deep-set opinions on how Orky tech works, and [[skub|debates]] between them can generate much [[RAGE]].

Occasionally, if a "tech-caste" gets into control of an Ork society, ridiculous constructions can result. Best example we know about is the Telon Reach Empire and its central stronghold Gorro. A "scrapworld", Gorro was full of things that shouldn't have worked at all (Horus notes that individual bits of architecture inside were just too mad for any human to contemplate) and could withstand the normally planet-killing weapons on the Vengeful Spirit and Emperor's own flagship. The Orks defending it were far more advanced than most (everything from their augmententations to the accuracy of their ships' weapons) and had actually built a plasma reactor to hold their world together. Their function mostly relied on the Orks' gestalt, as the core began to fail as the Emperor, Horus and their respective posses carved through the population. Once the Emperor killed the resident Warboss and psychically burned the rest of the Orks (a preview of what he'd eventually do to Horus) the system went into total meltdown.

===Special Note on Orky Vehicles===
To properly describe what Ork vehicles are like is a difficult prospect, or perhaps an overlooked opportunity. Either way, few actually attempt to clarify in tangible terms what orkish vehicle-makers create.

Let's start with the venerable Trukk. Keep in mind that the standard Ork Boy is a hunched, monstrous, 7-foot-tall Hulk Hogan. Now, the Trukk is essentially an over-sized, skeletal pickup truck, with armored bus tires and a spiked ram-plate for a bumper. The frame is then covered in all manner of inch-thick armor plating, the basic standard in orkish vehicle armor. No Ork vehicle with more than two wheels has an engine smaller than a V8, and the trukk is no exception. A common brag for a trukk owner, "I'z put twelve silenderz in dis 'ere kart" (when not met with the classic "You shoulda sprung fer forteen!" comeback), is similar to a human saying he put an extra two cylinders in his car and overhauled his transmission.

Larger orkish vehicles, like the Big Trakk, often use V14 engines that any human would say belongs on a fishing trawler. Alternatively, some vehicles use turbine engines for extra torque (which is always a good thing) and a higher top speed (also a good thing), or crackling electrical engines (less popular than a good-old combustion engine, but can "accidentally" taze pesky Lootas or enemies who get too close (i.e. rammed)). Big Trakks are literally the size of a heavy tank, but are completely open-topped to provide a chassis for hauling Boyz or insanely big gunz into the fight. They have banks of fat-tired wheels or, most likely, four-plus-foot-wide treads. They have as much torque as a Battle Wagon and fear no infantry.

==Orks and the Emperor==

One theory of the [[Emperor|Emprahs]] continued existence (despite the fact his throne is in serious need of an MOT) is the fact that the Orks BELIEVE it to be so. As any self-respecting Weirdboy will tell you, what da boyz fink will 'appen (see below), so if they think the Emperor is still alive then alive he will be. Probably cos they're not stupid enough to realise he's a corpse more fucked than a Slaaneshi cultist at Ciaphas Cain's place.. 'ANG ON A SECOND.. I FINK DEY BE MAKIN FUN OF US...WELL.....MAYBE WE OUTTA GO STOMP SUM HUMIES! (thas rite, the "chaos boys" are messing with you orks, go stomp them in the name of the Emp... For the WAAAGGGHH!. aehm..)

==Special Groups of Orks==
Apart from the regular Boyz, there are several groups of Orks who specialize in a specific task or doctrine. Called Oddboys (if they are relatively normal when fighting time rolls around) or Wyrdboys (when they shoot lighting out of their eyes, gunz or eye-gunz). The most common ones are:

===[[Oddboys|Oddboyz]]===
This category is filled with Orks who express genetic predispositions to certain tasks. Here are your Mekboys (engineers), Painboys (doctors), Weirdboys (psykers), Madboyz (psychos), Slaverz (take care of grots, snotlings and slaves), [[Dorfs|Brewerz]] (makers of alcohol; retconned), [[Noise Marines|Rockaz]] (musicians; also retconned), and Shoutaz (communications experts).

====Kult of Speed====

[[File:Kult o speed by majesticchicken.jpg|250px|thumb|right|'''WAAAAAAAAGHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''']]

[[Speed freeks]] who commonly go into the battlefield on bikes hyped up on dakka and flashy bitz, as their name suggests, they'z like goin' faster dan fast. On tabletop, they're okay, since they're really shooty for Orks and fairly cheap. These guys field the classic Mobile Ork Army, which causes loads of [[Butthurt]] and [[Rage]] when people go up against them. Just look out for Lascannons.
*'''[[Deff Skwadron | Flyboys]]''' - Crazed pilots that like fast vehicles, death defying stunts, and lots of dakka. The better pilots, fighta aces, are held in great esteem only by other flyboys and tend to give themselves crazy-cool nicknames.

====[[Burna Boyz | Burna boyz]]====
Burna boyz are similar to standard orks in ability, possessing no unique qualities except every one of them being a pyromaniac. These boys are the type who would burn their own mother alive if she tried to stop them from playing with matches, even though Orks technically don't have moms. As such, they regularly burn their own comrades for the hell of it (to see them 'do da burny dance'). Their obsession with fire is of course, genetically coded, and this has a particular disadvantage during periods of time where stealth is of the essence. In fact, this pyromania coupled with the rate of accidental deaths among Orks may explain why Burna boyz aren't more common; after all, an Ork that accidentally burns himself to death wouldn't be able to spread his spores so easily. On a more lighthearted note, they are also quite fond of fungus cigars! GREEN IZ BEST

====[[Mekboy|Mekboys]]====
Meks are Orks who are capable of making the ramshackle yet effective weapons and vehicles the Orks use. They're primarily the ones who makes the warband's wagons, restore salvaged vehicles, and create/modify weapons. An Ork who lead bands of Mekboys is called a "Big Mek", and is a bitch to kill on tabletop if he's kitted out. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZQdaEFa_60 Five-up cover saves for everyone!] 'Ho says we aint smart 'n' such! Only fing betta den an ork is an ork wif a good bit of technorkology 

====[[Tankbustas]]====
Many Orks enjoy the odd explosion. These guys like that so much that they decided what better way to get their kicks than to get into a nice squad of 5-15 boys and try blowing tanks sky high with their rokkits. They also train Squigs to run into tanks while strapped to the hilt with explosives. And if neither of that works, run into close-combat and strike the tank with a rokkit attached to a metal stick. They get so high off this that they will enter the broken vehicle, eat any survivors, and drink the motor oil in a ritual act known as "GETTIN' TANKED!" 

====[[Lootas]]====
Lootas are Orks who are obsessed with pimping out their shootas by salvaging bitz from their enemies. Lootas are critically important to Orkish mechanical industry, because they head salvage operations and assist Meks where Grots can't. They're also the ones who loot wrecked tanks and vehicles after a battle to use as Looted Wagons, with the help of Mekboys, which means Orks can remobilize rapidly, and scale up to match tank-driving foes. <strike>When not fighting or looting, Lootaboyz are a menace to Orky society, stealing, swindling, making trouble, and being the reason other Boyz can't have nice things.</strike> WOT?! YIZ SAYIN' DERE'S TIME WHEN DA ORKZ AIN'T FOIGHTIN' OR LOOTIN'?! I OUTTA GIVE YA A STAMP!!!

====[[Flash Gitz]]====
<strike> DA PIMPIEST ORK IZ DA BESTEST ORK!!!!!!</strike> Dat is why dey arrogant Gits. They are another group of shoota-obsessed Orks known as "Flash Gitz"; rich, obnoxious Bad Moonz gits who buy powerful weapons and upgrades using their large stockpiles of [[toof|teef]]. They love nothing more than showing off their wealth and (supposedly associated) martial power. They do things like wearing ''FABOLOUS'' clothing, sporting huge banners declaring their awesomeness (shogun-style), and plating everything they have in gold, silver, platinum, or any other shiny metal they have at hand (although gold is preferred). Goldz iz da bestest. Flash Gitz boast the shootiest kustom shootaz in all of orkdom, sometimes known as "snazzgunz", which makes them an invaluable asset to their clan. Conversely, due to their boasting and attitude problems they often alienate pretty much every other Ork they work with, and are prone to getting their arrogant asses booted out of their group the moment they become less useful than annoying.

====[[Freebooterz]]====
Orks who raid and pillage the galaxy as MOTHERFUCKING PIRATES. And just to add to their awesomeness, they'll usually dress and/or speak like pirates. (W)AAARG! Well-known individuals include Kaptins Badrukk and Bludflagg.

====[[Ork Kommando|Kommandos]]====
Orks who managed to figure out that charging a gunline isn't always the best option, so dey'z da sneakiest of da Orks. They typically paint themselves purple, which Orks believe is the sneakiest color (and because Orks are Orks, purple does in fact make them harder to see ... don't ask how the fuck that one works, it just does Hav you eva seen a purpul ork? Course not, dey's too sneaky . Kommandos rely on stealth tactics rather than balls-out firepower, and achieve this by using crude camouflage techniques, Speshul Forces equipment such as NVGs, various types of grenades, and all those other gubbins that makes them all sneaky. The concept of Orks using tactics beyond drowning their enemies in corpses and bullets is so completely out there that a lot of Imperial commanders [[Skaven|do not believe that Kommandos actually exist]], but nobody laughed when a Kommando unit suddenly [[Blood Ravens|hi-jacked]] a unit of 3 [[Deathstrike Missile Launcher]]s inside a Mordian regiment's lines drove 1 to the front and proceeded to launch it at the their front lines, killing thousands, including a [[Baneblade]] (Except for the Orks, who laughed their faces off as this was happening). Meanwhile, the Kommandos ran off with the remaining one and 2 extra missiles.

Kommandos are typically distrusted by Orks due to their chosen battle strategy. They view as sneaking about rather than getting to a fight, right and proppa as "Muckin' about". The enjoyment of the color purple among them is also considered right strange. As there aint no such thing as a purple ork!

In practice, all of this boils down to a fairly simple difference in tactics. Whereas a normal Ork Boy will see the enemy and immediately [[WAAAGH|shout]], run up to him, and smash him in the head, a Kommando will see the enemy, hide behind a nearby [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|bush]]/[[Dorf|barrel]]/[[Creed|lamp-post]] and wait for the enemy to get close like 5 feet to 2 meters, THEN shout, run up to him, and smash him in the head.

An ork asked about Kommando groups. "I dinna see anyfing... Do you?"

====Feral Orks====
Hidden away in GW fluff are these guys. These guys are what happens after a WAAAGH! has left your planet. They crop up in wildernesses and form tribes. They don't have technology (like shootas) or any kind of mekboys or even good resources to build junk. They are roughly on par with your [[Warhammer Fantasy|Fantasy]] Orks, so you can just use your Fantasy army in 40k if you can fluff your army right. Not like it matters, it's the same tactic either game. They tend to have Grots, Kommandos and Weirdboys coming out of their ears, and love to ride big squigs. If you don't prune them back to the forest well enough, they might sic buttloads of squiggoths on you. Snakebites love these guys, and if space-born Orks pick them up, Feral Orks usually become Snakebites anyway.

They breed a special kind of Oddboy, the Pigdok, who is a combination of a Mek and a Dok, but excels at neither. They do surgical procedures like a stereotypical medicine man, wander around covered in robes and talismans given to them by the Weirdboy Shamans, and head the construction of things like ballistas and catapults, all the way up to magical stompy Idols and the [[Titans_40k#Orky_Titans|Steam Gargant]].

====[[Weirdboy | Weirdboyz]]====
Weirdboyz are Orks who are active psykers. All Orks are passive psykers, emitting their gestalt field, but Weirdboyz are the only ones who can decide they're gonna blow another Ork's face off with a mean look and a lightning bolt (well, the only Orks who can decide to do it and it'll happen). They tend to be crazy and can blow up if they're not careful. Even when they are careful. Sometimes blowing up is the preferred/expected option for a Weirdboy.

==Retcons==
All following Ork Oddboys have been retconned, at least by GW's word. They live on in our hearts (and custom-models) as:

===Rokkas===
[[Rogue Trader]] Orks with a penchant for hard rock, metal, leather armor, and overgrown hair squigs. While still technically retconned, they do seem to keep cropping up in the fluff. Also known as Goff Rokkas, these boyz tend to come out of the Goffs exclusively, but it isn't completely unknown for other Clans to spit out one of these crazy green "musicians". They play machine gun guitars and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_wdRy7x4Sc PARTY 'ARD!!!]
It should be noted that Rokkas were invented in the Eighties, so they don't play things like Death Metal as much as they do generic Metal, 80's Metal, electric guitar ballads, and Hard Rock. It should also be noted that they are still available on Games Workshop's site. PARTY ON!
===Shoutas===
These orks have over-developed lungs and super-strong vocal cords so that they can [[Derp|yell really loud.]] Yes, you heard me right. They yell across Gargant-tops and over battlefield din to act as a telecommunications array. <strike>See, not all things that were retconned were too good to last.</strike> '''SHUDDUP STOOPID HUMIE, WHUT DO YOU KNOW?!?!?! SHOUTAS IZ DA BEST!!!!!!!'''

'''YOU'Z CALL DAT SHOUTIN'? YOU'Z AIN'T A REEL SHOUTA, YA GIT!'''


'''A REAL SHOUTA'''

'''DROWNS OUT DA'''

'''COMPUTISHUN!'''

'''I Konkur!'''


'''I'z prefur sneekin' up to some hummie and shoutin' in iz ear from reel gut close.'''


Anyone caught messing with this section again will get their shit handed to them. Do you know how fucking hard it is to make sure this shit is right? I can't do this AND dodge those fucking Orks. I'm a janitor, not a FUCKING NINJA!

'''See, iffin' you'z had sum of dat purpley paint, dis wouldn' be a problem now, would it?'''

''' 'e got youz good, e' did. aneewayz da squigs ated da inturn again. Git ta cleenen dat wod ya.'''

===Brewerz===
Again, not technically retconned, but never mentioned after about 3rd Edition. Brewerz, or Brewer Boyz function much like Mekboys or Mad Doks do, knowing the inns and outs of brewing through genetically innherited inntuition. They make alcohol out of squigs. Made everything from beers to malts to meads to liquors to scotches. Yes, certain squigs can be made into scotch. No, no grains are involved in the process. No, they've never don this in Scotland. No, you may not question this.
SQUIGGIE WALKER - RED LABEL! COS IT ZOGZ YOU IN DA BRAIN FASTA!
''Eend out of mashrooms too booss!'' 
Basically, they brew babies into beer sometimes. 
 
<strike>'''HERESY, ORK HERESY, ANY IMPERIAL CITIZENS WILL BE MURDERED ON SIGHT AFTER READING THIS.'''</strike>''' *WHAM* OY BOSS, DEM HUMIES IZ TRYN'A TAKE AWAYZ OUR SQUIG JUICE!
'''

''' Zoggin DAMN'IT! NOT AGAIN!'''

===Female Orks===

MY EYES!!!! THEY BURN!!!

Vaguely referenced in older fluff and glimpsed during Blood Bowl, sacrificed because nobody wants to see those canonized saggy Ork tits (Except [[/d/]]), and fucking whores (and ye mum). Suffice to say, some drawfags will still draw them and several on [[/tg/]] will doubtlessly [[Faptau|fap]] to it. Considering how many random mutations are seen amongst the Orks, the possibility is [[Meme|more likely than you'd think]]. In normal canon, Orks are asexual, popping out of fungal growths in the ground...

...but in the older fluff, when the Orks were basically Fantasy Orcs in space, there ''were'' female orks. Later fluff [[retcon]]ned this, so that in later parts of their life cycle Orks would temporarily develop sexual characteristics and go bang one another. For the sake of Games Workshop's writers' self-respect, this too was also retconned. And all but the drawfags are happy for that. All in all though, the idea of female orks or goblinoids of any sort is much more readily accepted across most genres involving greenskins of any sort, so the decision may more likely have been to make the Orks dependent on getting blown up to repopulate along with being hardlined for blockbuster style war (though, as with all evolution, this is mutable to change, as there are Orks like the Blood Axes who understand ideas like trading with da' humies', peace, and using functional armor and weapons that don't stop working just because da' mob' believes dey are useless. SEE, HUMIES ARE GUD' F'R SOME FINGS BUT NOT EVERY FING!).

 Oi'm twalf an' wots dis? 

===Brain Boyz===
Brain Boyz is how the Orks call the Old Ones. The retcon is that the Orks' origin has shifted around a few times, such as the Brain Boyz being the ancestors of the Snotlings (although the Orks still believe that, but it's no longer the official explanation it was in Rogue Trader).

(Dat'z still canon! Codex 7th ED 2014 and we'z seen it in the one before dat un!!!! What shrooms did ya zoggin' gits eat?!)

==Ork Klanz==
Oi, listen up ya gits. Dere's six diverant majah clanz of Ork, and dey's all right 'ard. Da clanz waz made way back by [[The Beast|the biggest, baddest warboss dere eva waz]], startin' out as his specialist boyz before dey became dey own klanz.

<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Dere's da '''Snakebites''', and dey'z a buncha fundie gits what won't use any teknowlogy more complicated den a [[choppa]] an' warpaint. Anytime dere's a world dat a WAAAAAGH smashed up, it gets full o' fundie boyz. When we pick em up, dey run off ta da Snakebites anyway instead o' learnin how ta fight propa. But dey got squiggoths, an' every WAAAAGH needs really big killy tings. Snakebites wear brown, like a buncha zoggin' Amish folk.
* Da '''Bad Moonz''', what gotz lotsa teef 'cause dey grow faster den any other orks, so dey'z a buncha rich gits. 'at meanz dat dey's got da best squigs and dakka, but since dey'z such lazy gits, dey's [[Tau|no good at choppin' an' stompin']], so other orks can always just find a Bad Moon and stomp his teef out. Bad Moonz wear Yella, da color a big booms and shiny bits.
* '''Goffs''' are a buncha gloomy gits what don't ever have any fun and don't give a grot's toss about dakka, but dey'z somma da 'ardest of all da orks. [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]] himself wuz a Goff. Dats why he's so big, 'ard, an mean. Goffs wear black, da color a bein' DED 'ARD!
* Da '''Evil Sunz''''re all part a da Kult a Speed, and dey've got da most Meks, so dey're always muckin' about with teknowlogical equipment an speedy karts. Deyz big believas in da color red, cuz RED 'UNZ GO FASTA!
* '''Deffskullz''' are a buncha teevin', lootin' gits what'll grab anyfing <del>what's not nailed</del> if it's nailed down they'll loot the nails den loot da fing that was nailed down an' make it orky. [[Looted|Anyfing]]. Even in da middle of a scrap. Da mekz loves em, though, cuz nobody'z got more bitz and gubbinz than a Deffskull Loota. Deffskullz all seemz ta have some kinda technikal know-wotz, dough. Deffskullz wear da color Blue, cuz Blue's a lucky color.
* And, last of all but not least, dere's da '''Blud Axez'''. Dey're da ones what've been hangin' around da stinkin' humies fer ages too long, and gone and developed all sorts a un-orky tings like ''taktiks'' an' ''recownasense'' an' ''camo'flage'' an worse of all da magikal and feared cry of ''retreat''. Dey've even got a sayin' bout it: ''"If we runs for it, it don't count as losing, cuz we can also come back for anuvver go, see?"'' Dey'z mocked as cowardly gits by most of da boyz, but cause dey be dead cunning dey'z da main source of da best warbosses in WAAAAAAAGH! time (Next ta Da Prophet him self). An' its '''alwayz''' WAAAAAAAGH! time, ya git! Blud Axez wear cammerflage, but at least they paint it nice an' bright so's you can see'em coming.

Later, when da humies learned dat der was six Beasts, and each lead a lejun o Boyz, dey started tinking dat each o da Clanz were da rem-re-leftovers o each Beast's lejun.</ul>

===Ork Non-Klanz===
<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Den dere's da '''[[Freebooterz|Freebootaz]]''', boyz wut left deir klan ta become merks an' piratz an' dat, Freebooterz iz often kicked o' deir klan for likin' sumtin' dat izn't violence more dan violence, like [[Kaptin Badrukk]] (teef), [[Wazdakka Gutsmek]] (goin' fast), or [[Zodgrod Wortsnagga]] (snotlings), but some leave o' deir own accord for similar reasons, like [[Kaptin Bluddflagg]] (loot). Freebootaz will even work for stupid 'umies for shinies (or hats), though dat don't mean dey won't turn 'round an 'ave a go at dem too.
* '''Feral Orkz''' are like Snakebites, but coz dey don't have a choice, what with not 'avin' access to Ork kulture seein' 'az dey don't have space travel. Often join the Snakebites as soon as dey'z recruited by a WAAAAAAGH.
* '''Speed Freekz''' is what you call da members o' da '''Kult o' Speed''', a klub any Ork what likes goin' fast a lot can join, not just da Evil Sunz.
</ul>

==Ork Daily Life==

[[File:Wh40k online concept.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Your average Ork home. Quite cozy when it comes down to it, really.]]

Morning.
GET UP! Doesn't matter when . But usually in the mid morning, -unless a nob kicks him in the face cause he is late for something, which he usually is. Next eat. Either the breakfast his pet grot brings him or the grot it self. Orks dont much care it all tastes the same dipped in mud and fried on a stick chased with some fungus beer.
Hit the drops. Yes the communal act of using the local bog. Literally. He might get a scar on his duff to show off if the Squigs are feisty that morning. Then swagger about and try to find new things to kill. Or new ways to kill things. This lasts till about noon.

Noon
LUNCH! Fungus rums and beers. Squig pies and mushroom fries. Plenty of fights break out at lunch usually from a loota stealing another Orks 'sweet-squig' dessert. Or some nob mouths off when drunk. Either way LUNCH! Next nap time/ wrekreation. Most Orks, having spent a very busy day trying to think up new ways to kill or new things to kill, will take a nap. Usually the average rank and file lad who has nothing better to do. It is around now that the more specialized Orkoids shall gather in their respective mobs and set about spending afternoon and early evening doing what they do best. Be it practicing blowing crap up if tankbustaz. Racing around the camp as speed freaks. Helping the meks if lootas or burnas. <strike>Hiding in plain sight if kommand-</strike> Move along, nofink to see 'ere.

Evening
WORK TIME! The boss or local big mek or Warp'ead bullies most every one around the camp center and gets up on his WAAAGH!!! Banner-tower and starts to bark out orders on what they will attack that night, or where they will hit to steal material to build his next projekt, or give a flashy psycho-pyrotectic light show during a prophetic chant. (though sometimes if no one got up till half past 5 they plan it during the early morning.) Depending on the Clan majority this can be as simple as "Smash dis!" (A goff) to "Ok Dis team needs ta be 'ere right when da rockets hit Or we wont-" <strike>(Yeah Blood axes dont know when to shut up) </strike> '''*THUMP*''' ZOGGIN' 'Umiez.

Midnight
DA ORKING HOUR! Do what was stated in the evening until they get tired and go home to bed. It don't count as failing cause they will try again tomorrow. Or pull it off and party all night (to the dismay of the defeated) until they pass out.

Even the Daily Life of the Ork is a miniature WAAAGH!!!

==Reasons it Rokks to be an Ork==
# We'z gotz a shiney new 7th ork-dition Codex-fingy!
# We'z da biggest an' da strongest.
# We'z made fer fightin' an' winnin'.
# We'z got more boyz dan anyone else.
# All an ork eva wantz to do fo'eva iz to keep fightin', winnin', an' lootin'.
# Dem mekboyz can loot anyfing an I mean [[Looted_Emperor|ANYFING]]!!
++''{{BLAM| Previous record has been made of note to Ordo Xenos for immediate actions to be taken. The Emperor Protects}}''++

Ummm, wot woz dat? Zog, I've lost count of da resuns for being an Ork!
# We'z already know everythin' wotz wort' learnin'.
# We'z da 2nd least [[grimdark]] race in da galaxy. BUT DA BEZT GREENDARK hur hur hur!
# Da painboyz can fix ya up right'n proppa, even if yer bloody 'ead'z chopped off.
# We'z got da shiniest bitz, or we'z 'bout to krump da git dat does.
# The longa ya fite, the bigga and stronga ya get.
# Teef's legal tenda. Punchin' sum git in da face getz youz a day'z meal.
# If da mekboy can finks it, he can build it.
# An' if he sayz it workz, he's roight.
# We'z da orkz an' dey iz not.
# Dem 'umiez and marine boyz screamin' "FER DA EMPRER", an dem spikey boys yellin' "BLOOD FO' DA BLOOD GOD!" is nofin' kompared to "WAAAAAAAAAGH!"
# Da red wunz will '''alwayz''' go fasta.
# Purple iz da sneekiest colah.
# Yello' iz da 'splodiest colah.
# Blu iz da lukiest colah.
# Green iz da orkiest colah.
# I haz a hole in me chest an' a choppa stuck to me leg? Didn' notice it while I wuz krumpin dem spiky boyz.
# Unlike dem 'umiez, greyskins, an' panzees, anyone can be a warboss usin' nofin' more den a choppa an' a litl bit o' dakka.
# Even if all da boyz get krump'd, we'z still win. Da only way da gits can zog us off is by [[Exterminatus|dakkain' da 'ole bludy planet]].
# You'z can trade in yer dakka fer moah choppa, or vice versah, and you iz still Orky enuff.
# You'z kan build an army of serial [[METAL BOXES|bawkses]] an' duk' tape an' maybe a bit o' spikez an' bitz and still look reel smart an' orky.
# Rolling a double six with Shokk Attack Gun.
# Some Git shootz 90% of Your squad, but the Nob smackz one boy on the 'ead and everybody iz doing good.
# You'z kan talk legally like a retard.
# Giving da boyz a frying pan on the 'ead and a fender on the shoulda makes dem 'arder.
# Putting dem in a fridge makez dem mega'ard.
# You'z kan use every armiez gunz, but none kan use Yourz.
# If you die you get proppa afterlife wiz lotta fighnin' an' booze, instead of being raped by laffin' daemons for eternity.
# You WILL die of laffin' if You play orkz.
# Eiff Edishun iz da horde edishun! We'z can field more boyz dan dem 'humies or bug fingies!
# Lastly, an' most importantly, da mane reezun it rokkz ta be an Ork iz dis:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


==Reasons it sucks to be an Ork==
# You're the one species that is actually dumber than humanity. <strike>{{BLAM|HERESY!}}</strike> *THUMP* LOK BOSS I GOT MEH WUN UH DEM UMIES!!!!
# Your war cry "WAAAGH!" is overused by everyone. LIEK IF "FOR DA EMPRAH!!!" IZN'T OVERUZZED AZ 'ELL
# No matter how hard you try, you will never achieve enough dakka... and if you did, it'd end up destroying you too. A TRAGGADY, DAT IS!
# Despite having some awesome-looking guns, you can't shoot things for shit. Your standard Ballistic Skill is 2 (which means at best hitting things on a 5+), and when you ''do'' shoot somebody successfully it's probably due to sheer volume of bullets more than anything else. YOU SAY DAT LOIKE IT'S A FUKKEN BAD THING! 
# Your sole purpose in stories is to distract the Space Marines and the Imperial Guard from more dangerous threats like Chaos, Tyranids or Necrons. BUT WE'Z GET TA HAVE A REAL GREAT FIGHT WHILEZ BEIN' A DISTRAKSHUN. SO IT'Z STILL ALL GOOD. ALSO HAV YOU EVEN READ DA BEAST ARISES WE ZOG DEM HUMMIES UP. 
# Your army falls apart at the seams the minute your Warboss dies. NAH, WE'S JUST GOT TA FIGURA' OUT WHUZ IN CHARGE NEXT, DAN WE COMES BACK AROUND TA FUMP EM AGAIN! <strike> Hiss! By that time we've NOMNOMNOMNOM'D on you </strike> '''*CRUNCH*''' ANUDDA 'EAD FER ME POINTY STIKK!
# Anytime you use anything, from your smallest pistol to your [[Battlefleet Gothic|largest space ship]], you have the same chances of surviving its use as a grot snuggling an overcharged standard issue Imperial [[Plasma Weapons|Plasma Gun]]. Offset by the fact you can survive 4th degree burns, decapitation, being septic, and acquiring space tetanus. OY, DOK. WUTZ DIS TETANATHINGY? CAN WE'Z SQUISH ET?
# In Second Ed there was an alarming risk that your entire army might die before the battle actually started because almost no Ork units had sealed armour. ORKZ DUN' NEED ARMER! NOT WEN ORKZ GOT DAKKA!! SMASH DEM GITS WITOUT'IT!
# You have a mushroom and two spore pods dangling between your legs, and Kroot find it a delicacy. <strike> GOOD MEAT BAKKAWW! </strike> *THUMP* I DUNNO WUT DIS DUN SAID BUT IT URT ME EYES SO I KRUMPED IT!!!!
# You're part of [[Squad broken]]. WELL, UH... ZOGGIT. WE GOT NUFFIN CLEVA TA SAY BOUT DAT. MAYBE SUMFING ABOUT IT BEING MADE BY DEM NECKBEARDED GROTZ WIV DA FEDORAZ AN STUFF
# <strike>You haven't had a new codex since 4th edition. And it's starting to show.</strike> SHUT IT YA GIT, WE'ZE DA ORKS AND YOU'Z A BUNCH O PANSY GITS! B'SIDES, WE IZ GOING TA GET NEW CODEX DIS 6TH ED! OI BOSS WEZ GOT A SEVENF EDISHUN CODEX BEFORE THE PANSY GITS DID! N NOW WE'Z GOTZ A SHINEY NEW 7 ORK-DITION CODEX-FINGY! ZOGGIN' GORK! DIS EYFF EDISHUN KODEX IS DED KILLY! 
# <strike>There is a slight chance that [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is going to write 6th edition codex. If so, in the next codex you'll read something like this: "The Orks insatiable thirst for violence is, really, just a way of coping with the angst they feel that no matter what they do, they will never be Ultramarines."</strike> WHO KEEPS LETTIN' DEZ' HUMIES IN 'ERE! WE'Z BLOODY INFESTED! GET DA BURNAZ! <strike>(Also [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is apparently too busy with pestering Forge world for more Space marine resin collections to be converted into plastic for the main product line to be bothered with our humble bumbling green skins.)</strike> Tipakill 'umie bee'ayevyohr dat iz. Alwayz ignorin' da orky fingz in loif an' only payin' attentchuhn to zoggin' 'umie fingz. Downroight shaymfol dat iz. Da onlee REEL orky 'umie dere iz iz dat Kaptuhn Yarik; Gork - or eh, iz it Mork? - bless 'iz 'eart. (Trust us greenskin, Matt Ward ignoring you is a good thing.) But waznt 'e fired fur being an annoying grot? I GOT DA BURNAZ!! WE HAVIN A BBQ?? MAKE MINE CRISPY AN DUN FORGET DA EXTRA SQUIG SAUCE
# Orks do not draw psychic power from the [[Warp]], [[Derp|but still take Perils of the Warp]]. DEM WEIRDBOY GITZ JUST ORK'D TOO 'ARD!
# <strike>if dere ain't any Stormboyz, yer army k'n get krumped by da Blu Gitz real easy like. No not [[Ultramarines|DEM]] blue gits The [[Tau|udda ones]] wif da nice dakka and puny stompas.</strike>'''*CRUNCH*''' OI! WHO LET DA GROT DO DA TALKIN?! WE JUS' SMASH DEM BLUEBOYZ WIT 'ARE CHOPPAS WHEN WE GET CLOSE, AN' IF DAT DON'T WORK WE JUST MATCH DERE AMOUNT OF DAKKA WIT SOME PRETTY KILLY SHOOTAS. UNLESS DEY SEND DA RED COMMIT THO... GOOD FING DEY GOT RID OF HIM!
# Even doh dere is [[Yarrick|wun humie]] dat foights good and ard and iz real ded killy, ee iz da greatest enemy ov da Orkz. *THUNK* DA GREATEST ENNEMY OF DA ORKS IZ DA RED COMMIT! DAT BLUE BOY'S STOMPA IS FREE TIMES FASTA DAN A REGULAR WUN!
# <strike>You probably dont have a penis. You can piss on Space Marines, only to die a short while later.</strike> IZ DAT BAD FING? OOMIEZ SAYZ DAT IT VERY HURTZ WHEN WE 'IT EM IN IT? Wait... Dat what dey call the mushroom'n'spore pods? Poor suckas! Dey have PAIN nerves down dat way? No WONDER dey scream so bad when we kick em there. 
#<strike>Even (some) vegetarians will eat you</strike> NOT IF WE EAT DEM FIRST! HAH! 
# You all piss yourselves at the very mention of the name of a certain [[Farsight|Red Armored Swordsman]]. WE'Z JUST BE SO EXCITED CAUSE DAT BLUE-BOY ACTUALLY PUTS UP A FIGHT! More so than the Orks did against an old Ethereal with a pointed stick! *KRUMP* SHUT IT YA GREAT LANKY BLUE GROT 

== See Also ==
* [[Grot]]
* [[Snotling]]
* [[The Beast]]
* [[The War of The Beast]]
* [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]]
* [[Gorgutz_%27Ead_%27Unter|Warboss Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter]]
* [[Deffboss]]
* [[WAAAGH]]
* [["Da Tragedy of Hamlet, boss of Denmark" by Shake-da-boss-pole]]
* [[Makbeff]]
* [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Orks(7E)|Tactics/Orks]]
* [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Orks/Dred_List|Dreadnought List]]
* [[Codex Orks: Space Odin Edition]]
* [[Ork Gunz]]
* [[Gargant]]
* [[Stompa]]
* [[Deff Skwadron]]
* [[Scraplootas]]
* [[Da Chopshop]]
* [[Ork Trek]]
* [[Ironjawz]] for one of their Age of Sigmar counterparts.
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whxcq4I0kAo Da Ork Song]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXCLtD5batc Dem Ork Boyz Song]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Ork flowchart.png|WAAAAGH flowchart
Image:WAAAAGH.jpg|WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Image:Ork_WTF_is_this.jpg|WOT'Z DAT
Image:Orks_are_made_4_rokkin.jpg|ORKZ IZ DA ROKKINEST
Image:WOT_DA_ZOG.jpg|DA PAINBOSS IZ GONNA WANT TA LOOK AT DIS WOTEVA IT IS
Image:Disguise_1.jpg|Orks are the best at disguises
Image:Disguise_2.jpg|Stoopid [[beakie|beakies]]
Image:Disguise_3.jpg|Weeabork
Image:Orktaku.jpg|A different sort of Weeabork
Image:Samurork4.jpg|The truest of Weeaborks
Image:Da_warboss_Lincoln.jpg|The assassination of warboss Lincoln.
Image:GorknMork.jpg|Gork and Mork
Image:Ork_Fortress.jpg|WE'Z AMUZED BY ENTIRE PUNY 'UMIE IMPERIUM
Image:Pimp_Ork_1.jpg|PompadOrk
Image:Pimp_Ork_2.jpg|EY YOU GITZ WE 'EARD YOU LIKE TA MAKE IT ORKY SO WE ORKYFIED YER ORKY SQUIGOFF SO YOU'Z CAN WAAAGH WHILE YOO'Z WAAAGHIN'
Image:Killskata.jpg|Jet Grind RadiOrk
Image:Gorkken_Morkann_by_Jaekyu.jpg|'OO DA 'ELL DO YA FINK WE IS?!!!
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz_2.jpg|IT'Z TIME FER SUM IKSPERIMINTS
Image:Ork_teaparty.jpg|No reason we can't be civil
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz.jpg|SIANTZ. It works.
Image:Oldboyz.jpg|Oldboyz can Waaagh! too. They just need a nap afterwords.
Image:Orkpoke.jpg|SlowpOrk
Image:Ork_Anatomy.jpg|Inaccurate (but in-universe) depiction of orky gubbinz.
Image:Orkspekta_gubbinz.jpg|Orkspekta Gubbinz iz on da case!
Image:Orkishbeprepared.jpg|<strike>Jeremy Irons is orky, right?</strike> COURZE 'E IZ! E'Z ZO ORKY YOU'Z CAN'T LISTEN TA DA ORIGINAL SONG WIWOUT 'EARING DIS!
Image:Green.jpg|Supagreen
Image:1229746903774.jpg|[[Deff Skwadron]]. Zoggin' bootiful.
Image:Proud'n'Bootiful.jpg
Image:1239594444871.jpg|Transform and WAAAGH! (Holyshit this thing actually transforms.)
Image:1258887158852.jpg| Essentially....this is the best thing ever.
Image:mythbusta.jpg
Image:Ork_love_potion.jpg|Love Can WAAAGH!
Image:Ork with Lego shootah.jpg
Image:Squig_drops.jpg
Image:Eldars_are_orky.jpg|[[Eldar]]z iz da most orky race evar, ya gitz!
Image:Ork Powuz.png|An alternate explanation of how a WAAAGH works.
File:Mork and gork orks warhammer 40k 1334752549083.jpg|Brutally cunning or cunningly brutal?
File:CoDorks.jpg|Only Orks are capable of making something utterly godawful into something completely Orky.
File:SmurfOrks.jpg|Orks, mastaz uf stelff'en
File:Bork_Kube.jpg|A viable Ork space ship design
</gallery></center>

{{Template:Orks-Forces}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}

[[category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Orks]]
[[Category: Xenos]]

Ork

2017-10-03T03:39:01Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Reasons it sucks to be an Ork */

{{awesome}}
'''''"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"''''' 
:-Da Orks, all da zoggin' time.
[[File:Orks attack3.jpg|600px|thumb|right|'Ere we zoggin' go, let's break sum' 'eads!]]
{{Topquote|War means fighting, and fighting means killing.|Nathan Bedford Forrest}}
{{Topquote|War is the business of barbarians.|Napoleon Bonaparte}}

The '''Orks''' are a race in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Commonly known as "Greenskins" or "the Green Tide", they're probably the most numerous and infestive race in the entire 40K setting, or at least on par with the [[Tyranids]]. They have a ''[[Warhammer Fantasy]]'' equivalent, the only major differences being that fantasy Orks are now called Orruks, and they have a (slightly) lower level of technology relative to the setting.

==Overview==
[[File:Ork_Boy.jpg|200px|thumb|left|[[Ork_Boy|The original Boy]]. This guy has been around since 2nd ed.]]
Orks are the most successful race of the [[Warhammer 40,000 | 41st millennium]]. Despite their entire lack of structured education or training, they seem to be very proficient with all kinds of technology, which they inevitably utilize for their armaments (of which firearms and vehicles are the most common). This is explained away in the fluff by their origins: they were created by the [[Old Ones#Warhammer 40,000|Old Ones]] to be a warrior race called the ''Krork,'' and some of them (the Mekboyz) were genetically hard-wired to have a pre-programmed proficiency for technological engineering. Unfortunately, the Old Ones died before they could finish their little science project; specifically the psychic control mechanism. The ancient Krork were known to have fought the ancient Eldar empire when the latter was at the peak of its power and were implied to have been a considerable threat (a Harlequin in M32 compares the nearly invincible hordes of the Beast as being like children compared to them).
This means that such war machines simply fight everything, everywhere, all the time. In principle, Orks can loot just about anything: the minor greenskins, such as "Grotz" ([[goblin]]s) can construct several working vehicles and machines out of mere scrap (They actually can't but orks believe they can so it happens see: a few paragraphs below).

The Orks derive much of their success from their reproductive process: Orks are, essentially, a psychosensitive hybrid of animal and fungi, not unlike a very complex version of a lichen. One advantage is a redundancy of vital organs, making them able to easily survive events such as head transplants and the fact that it's not easy to kill an individual Ork since they could very well survive injuries that would put a human to a crippled state. In fact there is a [[Valhalla|Valhallan]] folktale about a relative finding an Ork, [[Carnifex#Old_One_Eye|thawing it out only for it to attempt to kill them]]. Another advantage is their ability to grow larger as they win more battles (due to the aforementioned psychosensitivity): an Ork who is winning a fight is enjoying himself, which causes fluctuations in the gestalt field that all Orks generate. These fluctuations supercharge the Ork's physiology, causing the Ork to gain muscle mass and evolve. Consequently, if an Ork should somehow be incapable of fighting (like being imprisoned); they will actually ''devolve'' instead, causing the Ork to become pudgy and lethargic. This was observed during [[Xenology]] where a captive Ork was eventually found morbidly obese when the Inquisitor brought him out for dissection. Hence,the saying: "Orkz iz made fer fighten' and winnin'" applies literally in their case, as the incentives of fighten' and winnin' are what makes or breaks an Ork.

In addition, the fungal part of their physiology allows Orks to reproduce asexually en masse through underground fungal colonies that act as self-sustaining ecosystems. Reproductive spores enter the topsoil, produce fungal mycelia that assimilate base nutrients and could exchange genetic information with other mycelia, putting normal Human sexual reproduction to shame, and eventually produce lesser Orkoids: squigs and Grotz. The Grotz cultivate the protein-rich squigs in preparation for the emergence of the greater Orks, which take longer to develop. All in all, this cycle was designed to fight against the Necrons, which sterilized a planet to its bacteria. Orks can terraform a barren planet into a veritable paradise this way, though what defines "paradise" is a point of discussion; if you like endless wars and tribal conflicts in a mushroom rich planet, it probably is.

Though all Orks discharge reproductive spores throughout their lives, the most significant and numerous emissions occur when an Ork ''is dismembered or dies.'' This means that, for Orks, combat and death are their principal means of reproduction and genetic exchange, and a Space Marine/Guardsman chainsawing/shooting/artillery-bombarding an ork just results in ten thousands, if not millions, of Orks coming for ya, kinda like [[tyranids]]. Nice Job chainsawing it, Space Marine. Due to this, an Ork infestation is incredibly hard to handle if kept unchecked since it won't take them long to get enough boyz to launch a full-scale WAAAGH! to overrun an entire planet and necessitate [[Exterminatus]]. We can use flamethrowers, [[Plasma]], nukes, [[melta]] weapons or anything high-energy to eradicate any spores and fungi, saving the world from the eventual Exterminatus, but then again, efficiency ain't manly n' [[grimdark]] enough compared to good ol' spore-releasing bolters, chainswords and artillery.

Orks only have two popular combat doctrines: [[Choppa|choppy]], which involves giving your opponents a good stomping up close, and [[dakka|shooty]] which involves spitting out as many bullets as possible with an assortment of shootas, and the faster it shoots; the better. That said, a good shoota should also still be able to kill enemies ''while'' putting out a lot of dakka, otherwise it wouldn't be killy (and woe betide an Ork who isn't killy). Because of the Ork's naturally low penchant for accuracy; they typically get around this problem in two methods: the first one is to have a gun that simply shoots bullets as fast as Orkily possible that the wielder ''should'' be able to hit something eventually (strapping two or more shootas together is a crude but effective way to go about this). The second one is to make the gun really killy every time it shoots, like putting a dangerously high-explosive shell in a kannon that can obliterate an entire building in one shot.

Orks are commonly believed to be stupid and superstitious by the other races of the 40k world, but they can also be cunning and quick on the draw. Orks are always ready for a fight and while you can trick them, they quite like the idea of tricking people back.

Their philosophy of DA RED WUNZ GO FASTA is the ultimate truth: because of the aforementioned gestalt field, Ork vehicles painted red will, ultimately, go faster than Ork vehicles that are ''not'' painted red because the Orks believe that Red makes everything go faster:
DIS 'UMIE GIT THINKZ DAT DA RED WUNZ DON'T GO FASTA? DEY DON'T KNOW DAT ANYFING PAINTED RED MAKES IT DA BEST AN' MAKES IT GO FASTAAAA COZ RED IZ BEST! '''*WHAM!*''' NO IT AIN'T, YA BLEEDIN' SQUIG, '''GREEN''' IZ BEST! '''*Boots up the bog*''' SHUT YER GOB, 'E WAS TALKIN' 'BOUT DA TRUKKS, YA GIT!

We can assume that this cuts both ways, with enemies such as the Blood Angels and White Scars gaining the same boost due to their use of red paint.

A hallmark of Orkoid, for lack of a better term, civilization is the WAAAGH!. Pronounced similar to "war" as the "GH" is silent. Always written in all-caps, with at least three "A"s and an exclamation point, the WAAAGH! occurs when an Ork population reaches critical mass and a dominant Warboss appears. A Warboss is an Ork Alpha who is bigger than all the other Orks and have proven his right to lead by either his sheer size or krumpin' all the other big Orks that thinks otherwise. Lesser Orks sense the presence of the Boss in the Orks' psychic field and follow him on what is often described as a combination of pub riot and holy war with a dash of genocide. The WAAAGH! accomplishes two things: it weeds out weaker Orks, keeping the species strong; and it facilitates genetic exchange and reproduction as the Orks die and release spores.

The Ork economy is based on teef, more information on which [[toof|can be found here]].

Ork religious beliefs also help manage their population. Orks believe in two gods, [[Gork]] and [[Mork]]. One is the god of cunning brutality and the other is the god of brutal cunning, the difference being that one hits you when you aren't looking and the other hits you harder when you are. Unfortunately, no one can decide which god is which, nor can the Orks decide which is better: cunning brutality or brutal cunning. These differences of opinion tend to lead to Gigantic Brawls, yet another method of keeping the Ork race strong, warlike and in check. Their division also keeps them perpetually divided, for it has been theorized that if the Orks were to ever unite in one big WAAAGH!, their gestalt reality-warping field might just as well turn omnipotent and crush all opposition

Ork society is effectively the perfect society. Its society is a Kratocracy (A Government ruled by the strongest, fitting for Orks) in maturity as all disputes are settled fairly quickly and painfully (just the way they like it). The economy is steady, as teef grow and rot at a reliable rate. Once a Boss is in charge, mostly everyone falls into place, and the Orks go and [[/tg/ Gets Shit Done|get shit done]].

Also, they probably killed the Imperial Fists. All of them.

Fun fact: The orks use black and white on their shock troops, because it reminds them of the Luna Wolves who destroyed them at Ullanor. The orks do not fear death, but they do fear the Luna Wolves. That is right, Horus traumatized them as a race more than the fucking grim reaper. Note: Why would you fear death, if death usually results in you being reborn into several thousands of yourself? Horus probably swept the spores up post battle and that's why they fear him. Though it's also worth mentioning that Orks harbor a natural fear of Commander Farsight too, whom they know as "Da Red Commit". Though given that the Dawn Blade consumes the souls of those it kills, it's likely that any Orks cut down by Farsight do not reproduce. But then again he was committing Ork genocide long before he found the blade so...

==Ork Teknology==

[[File:Dat zoggin bigmek by majesticchicken.jpg|220px|thumb|left|A perfect example of Ork tech. Powered by make-believe and the essence of love, and patched together with duct tape and chewing gum, the emperor himself has truly never seen finer craftsmanship or innovation.]]

Ork technology works mainly because the Orks think it does. The official explanation is that the subconscious gestalt psychic field that all Orks generate enables their technology to function; the stronger the field, the more unlikely their technological achievements become. In older versions of the fluff, if you hand an Ork a pipe and convince him it's a gun, it WILL shoot bullets. They're like reality-warping Physical "Gods", only weakened by their stupidity and their preference to fight each other instead of uniting, hence why the Imperium still manages to survive in these dark times. In later versions, this has been toned down from "impossible" to merely "unlikely" because GW won't keep anything canon that's that [[derp|badass]]. If Ork technology is held together by spit, duct tape, and hope, then the Orks' psychic field provides the hope.

For example: a Wartrukk with a mob of Orks in it sputters and dies. Da boyz hop out and have a look.
One of da boyz examines the readouts and says to the Nob driver, "Da bloody fing is outta gas!"
Said Nob hits the offending Ork in the face so hard that he falls unconscious. "Look 'ere, I'z da boss, and I sez I filled this fing up righ' before we left!"
The rest of da boyz look at each other, halfway convinced. He ''is'' the biggest Ork among them, and he ''did'' just prove it. Maybe he ''did'' fill it up right before they left. That's the sort of thing one does when one's in charge. Da boyz begin to file back into the Wartrukk, and with a satisfied nod, the Nob gets in and cranks her up. Because da boyz believe that there is plenty of fuel in the truck, one drop does for ten, and the Wartrukk and da boyz arrive just in time for the next fight.

The purpose for this sort of thing is primarily to compensate for the Orks' technological disadvantage by comparison with races like the [[Tau]], [[Necron]]s, or the [[Eldar]]. For example, a meat cleaver in the hands of an Ork can tear through the toughest ceramite armor if the Ork believes it will; for anyone BUT an Ork, a power weapon or the equivalent would be required to do so. This tends to work well for them, but not for the other races of the galaxy: Imperial observers note that Ork weapons generally will not function in the hands of a non-Ork. The only reason the Orks haven't exploited the limits of their generated gestalt field by creating easily made but devastatingly powerful weaponry that could eclipse the weapons of the other races is that they themselves do not know nor understand that they create said field, they believe that their equipment works because that's how the universe wants it to work, not because they themselves are making it work. Which I guess makes it true. This, in turn, makes for an interesting paradox: If orks managed to understand the physical universe as it is, they would not believe their "weapons" work, thus, stripping them of their psychic advantage. If there is a little ounce of disbelief, this would wreck their ability to... believe hard enough so as to manipulate reality.

This said, Orky know-wots DO have a say in stuff that the Orks build. Mekboyz build much of the stuff they do because they have been genetically ingrained with the knowledge on how to make and maintain their technology. While much of their tech runs because they want to, the basis is that the Orks ''can'' actually build a conceptually working frame to get all Orky on. This explains how Orks can build such technological wonders as the Shokk Attack Gun, which propels [[Snotling|Snotlings]] through the Warp and into the armor, tanks, [[Rape|and bodies]] of their enemies. Also, there ''have'' been instances of Ork tech working well in the hands of other races,( at least for a time till it blows up). Be careful though, most Ork players have ''very'' deep-set opinions on how Orky tech works, and [[skub|debates]] between them can generate much [[RAGE]].

Occasionally, if a "tech-caste" gets into control of an Ork society, ridiculous constructions can result. Best example we know about is the Telon Reach Empire and its central stronghold Gorro. A "scrapworld", Gorro was full of things that shouldn't have worked at all (Horus notes that individual bits of architecture inside were just too mad for any human to contemplate) and could withstand the normally planet-killing weapons on the Vengeful Spirit and Emperor's own flagship. The Orks defending it were far more advanced than most (everything from their augmententations to the accuracy of their ships' weapons) and had actually built a plasma reactor to hold their world together. Their function mostly relied on the Orks' gestalt, as the core began to fail as the Emperor, Horus and their respective posses carved through the population. Once the Emperor killed the resident Warboss and psychically burned the rest of the Orks (a preview of what he'd eventually do to Horus) the system went into total meltdown.

===Special Note on Orky Vehicles===
To properly describe what Ork vehicles are like is a difficult prospect, or perhaps an overlooked opportunity. Either way, few actually attempt to clarify in tangible terms what orkish vehicle-makers create.

Let's start with the venerable Trukk. Keep in mind that the standard Ork Boy is a hunched, monstrous, 7-foot-tall Hulk Hogan. Now, the Trukk is essentially an over-sized, skeletal pickup truck, with armored bus tires and a spiked ram-plate for a bumper. The frame is then covered in all manner of inch-thick armor plating, the basic standard in orkish vehicle armor. No Ork vehicle with more than two wheels has an engine smaller than a V8, and the trukk is no exception. A common brag for a trukk owner, "I'z put twelve silenderz in dis 'ere kart" (when not met with the classic "You shoulda sprung fer forteen!" comeback), is similar to a human saying he put an extra two cylinders in his car and overhauled his transmission.

Larger orkish vehicles, like the Big Trakk, often use V14 engines that any human would say belongs on a fishing trawler. Alternatively, some vehicles use turbine engines for extra torque (which is always a good thing) and a higher top speed (also a good thing), or crackling electrical engines (less popular than a good-old combustion engine, but can "accidentally" taze pesky Lootas or enemies who get too close (i.e. rammed)). Big Trakks are literally the size of a heavy tank, but are completely open-topped to provide a chassis for hauling Boyz or insanely big gunz into the fight. They have banks of fat-tired wheels or, most likely, four-plus-foot-wide treads. They have as much torque as a Battle Wagon and fear no infantry.

==Orks and the Emperor==

One theory of the [[Emperor|Emprahs]] continued existence (despite the fact his throne is in serious need of an MOT) is the fact that the Orks BELIEVE it to be so. As any self-respecting Weirdboy will tell you, what da boyz fink will 'appen (see below), so if they think the Emperor is still alive then alive he will be. Probably cos they're not stupid enough to realise he's a corpse more fucked than a Slaaneshi cultist at Ciaphas Cain's place.. 'ANG ON A SECOND.. I FINK DEY BE MAKIN FUN OF US...WELL.....MAYBE WE OUTTA GO STOMP SUM HUMIES! (thas rite, the "chaos boys" are messing with you orks, go stomp them in the name of the Emp... For the WAAAGGGHH!. aehm..)

==Special Groups of Orks==
Apart from the regular Boyz, there are several groups of Orks who specialize in a specific task or doctrine. Called Oddboys (if they are relatively normal when fighting time rolls around) or Wyrdboys (when they shoot lighting out of their eyes, gunz or eye-gunz). The most common ones are:

===[[Oddboys|Oddboyz]]===
This category is filled with Orks who express genetic predispositions to certain tasks. Here are your Mekboys (engineers), Painboys (doctors), Weirdboys (psykers), Madboyz (psychos), Slaverz (take care of grots, snotlings and slaves), [[Dorfs|Brewerz]] (makers of alcohol; retconned), [[Noise Marines|Rockaz]] (musicians; also retconned), and Shoutaz (communications experts).

====Kult of Speed====

[[File:Kult o speed by majesticchicken.jpg|250px|thumb|right|'''WAAAAAAAAGHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''']]

[[Speed freeks]] who commonly go into the battlefield on bikes hyped up on dakka and flashy bitz, as their name suggests, they'z like goin' faster dan fast. On tabletop, they're okay, since they're really shooty for Orks and fairly cheap. These guys field the classic Mobile Ork Army, which causes loads of [[Butthurt]] and [[Rage]] when people go up against them. Just look out for Lascannons.
*'''[[Deff Skwadron | Flyboys]]''' - Crazed pilots that like fast vehicles, death defying stunts, and lots of dakka. The better pilots, fighta aces, are held in great esteem only by other flyboys and tend to give themselves crazy-cool nicknames.

====[[Burna Boyz | Burna boyz]]====
Burna boyz are similar to standard orks in ability, possessing no unique qualities except every one of them being a pyromaniac. These boys are the type who would burn their own mother alive if she tried to stop them from playing with matches, even though Orks technically don't have moms. As such, they regularly burn their own comrades for the hell of it (to see them 'do da burny dance'). Their obsession with fire is of course, genetically coded, and this has a particular disadvantage during periods of time where stealth is of the essence. In fact, this pyromania coupled with the rate of accidental deaths among Orks may explain why Burna boyz aren't more common; after all, an Ork that accidentally burns himself to death wouldn't be able to spread his spores so easily. On a more lighthearted note, they are also quite fond of fungus cigars! GREEN IZ BEST

====[[Mekboy|Mekboys]]====
Meks are Orks who are capable of making the ramshackle yet effective weapons and vehicles the Orks use. They're primarily the ones who makes the warband's wagons, restore salvaged vehicles, and create/modify weapons. An Ork who lead bands of Mekboys is called a "Big Mek", and is a bitch to kill on tabletop if he's kitted out. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZQdaEFa_60 Five-up cover saves for everyone!] 'Ho says we aint smart 'n' such! Only fing betta den an ork is an ork wif a good bit of technorkology 

====[[Tankbustas]]====
Many Orks enjoy the odd explosion. These guys like that so much that they decided what better way to get their kicks than to get into a nice squad of 5-15 boys and try blowing tanks sky high with their rokkits. They also train Squigs to run into tanks while strapped to the hilt with explosives. And if neither of that works, run into close-combat and strike the tank with a rokkit attached to a metal stick. They get so high off this that they will enter the broken vehicle, eat any survivors, and drink the motor oil in a ritual act known as "GETTIN' TANKED!" 

====[[Lootas]]====
Lootas are Orks who are obsessed with pimping out their shootas by salvaging bitz from their enemies. Lootas are critically important to Orkish mechanical industry, because they head salvage operations and assist Meks where Grots can't. They're also the ones who loot wrecked tanks and vehicles after a battle to use as Looted Wagons, with the help of Mekboys, which means Orks can remobilize rapidly, and scale up to match tank-driving foes. <strike>When not fighting or looting, Lootaboyz are a menace to Orky society, stealing, swindling, making trouble, and being the reason other Boyz can't have nice things.</strike> WOT?! YIZ SAYIN' DERE'S TIME WHEN DA ORKZ AIN'T FOIGHTIN' OR LOOTIN'?! I OUTTA GIVE YA A STAMP!!!

====[[Flash Gitz]]====
<strike> DA PIMPIEST ORK IZ DA BESTEST ORK!!!!!!</strike> Dat is why dey arrogant Gits. They are another group of shoota-obsessed Orks known as "Flash Gitz"; rich, obnoxious Bad Moonz gits who buy powerful weapons and upgrades using their large stockpiles of [[toof|teef]]. They love nothing more than showing off their wealth and (supposedly associated) martial power. They do things like wearing ''FABOLOUS'' clothing, sporting huge banners declaring their awesomeness (shogun-style), and plating everything they have in gold, silver, platinum, or any other shiny metal they have at hand (although gold is preferred). Goldz iz da bestest. Flash Gitz boast the shootiest kustom shootaz in all of orkdom, sometimes known as "snazzgunz", which makes them an invaluable asset to their clan. Conversely, due to their boasting and attitude problems they often alienate pretty much every other Ork they work with, and are prone to getting their arrogant asses booted out of their group the moment they become less useful than annoying.

====[[Freebooterz]]====
Orks who raid and pillage the galaxy as MOTHERFUCKING PIRATES. And just to add to their awesomeness, they'll usually dress and/or speak like pirates. (W)AAARG! Well-known individuals include Kaptins Badrukk and Bludflagg.

====[[Ork Kommando|Kommandos]]====
Orks who managed to figure out that charging a gunline isn't always the best option, so dey'z da sneakiest of da Orks. They typically paint themselves purple, which Orks believe is the sneakiest color (and because Orks are Orks, purple does in fact make them harder to see ... don't ask how the fuck that one works, it just does Hav you eva seen a purpul ork? Course not, dey's too sneaky . Kommandos rely on stealth tactics rather than balls-out firepower, and achieve this by using crude camouflage techniques, Speshul Forces equipment such as NVGs, various types of grenades, and all those other gubbins that makes them all sneaky. The concept of Orks using tactics beyond drowning their enemies in corpses and bullets is so completely out there that a lot of Imperial commanders [[Skaven|do not believe that Kommandos actually exist]], but nobody laughed when a Kommando unit suddenly [[Blood Ravens|hi-jacked]] a unit of 3 [[Deathstrike Missile Launcher]]s inside a Mordian regiment's lines drove 1 to the front and proceeded to launch it at the their front lines, killing thousands, including a [[Baneblade]] (Except for the Orks, who laughed their faces off as this was happening). Meanwhile, the Kommandos ran off with the remaining one and 2 extra missiles.

Kommandos are typically distrusted by Orks due to their chosen battle strategy. They view as sneaking about rather than getting to a fight, right and proppa as "Muckin' about". The enjoyment of the color purple among them is also considered right strange. As there aint no such thing as a purple ork!

In practice, all of this boils down to a fairly simple difference in tactics. Whereas a normal Ork Boy will see the enemy and immediately [[WAAAGH|shout]], run up to him, and smash him in the head, a Kommando will see the enemy, hide behind a nearby [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|bush]]/[[Dorf|barrel]]/[[Creed|lamp-post]] and wait for the enemy to get close like 5 feet to 2 meters, THEN shout, run up to him, and smash him in the head.

An ork asked about Kommando groups. "I dinna see anyfing... Do you?"

====Feral Orks====
Hidden away in GW fluff are these guys. These guys are what happens after a WAAAGH! has left your planet. They crop up in wildernesses and form tribes. They don't have technology (like shootas) or any kind of mekboys or even good resources to build junk. They are roughly on par with your [[Warhammer Fantasy|Fantasy]] Orks, so you can just use your Fantasy army in 40k if you can fluff your army right. Not like it matters, it's the same tactic either game. They tend to have Grots, Kommandos and Weirdboys coming out of their ears, and love to ride big squigs. If you don't prune them back to the forest well enough, they might sic buttloads of squiggoths on you. Snakebites love these guys, and if space-born Orks pick them up, Feral Orks usually become Snakebites anyway.

They breed a special kind of Oddboy, the Pigdok, who is a combination of a Mek and a Dok, but excels at neither. They do surgical procedures like a stereotypical medicine man, wander around covered in robes and talismans given to them by the Weirdboy Shamans, and head the construction of things like ballistas and catapults, all the way up to magical stompy Idols and the [[Titans_40k#Orky_Titans|Steam Gargant]].

====[[Weirdboy | Weirdboyz]]====
Weirdboyz are Orks who are active psykers. All Orks are passive psykers, emitting their gestalt field, but Weirdboyz are the only ones who can decide they're gonna blow another Ork's face off with a mean look and a lightning bolt (well, the only Orks who can decide to do it and it'll happen). They tend to be crazy and can blow up if they're not careful. Even when they are careful. Sometimes blowing up is the preferred/expected option for a Weirdboy.

==Retcons==
All following Ork Oddboys have been retconned, at least by GW's word. They live on in our hearts (and custom-models) as:

===Rokkas===
[[Rogue Trader]] Orks with a penchant for hard rock, metal, leather armor, and overgrown hair squigs. While still technically retconned, they do seem to keep cropping up in the fluff. Also known as Goff Rokkas, these boyz tend to come out of the Goffs exclusively, but it isn't completely unknown for other Clans to spit out one of these crazy green "musicians". They play machine gun guitars and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_wdRy7x4Sc PARTY 'ARD!!!]
It should be noted that Rokkas were invented in the Eighties, so they don't play things like Death Metal as much as they do generic Metal, 80's Metal, electric guitar ballads, and Hard Rock. It should also be noted that they are still available on Games Workshop's site. PARTY ON!
===Shoutas===
These orks have over-developed lungs and super-strong vocal cords so that they can [[Derp|yell really loud.]] Yes, you heard me right. They yell across Gargant-tops and over battlefield din to act as a telecommunications array. <strike>See, not all things that were retconned were too good to last.</strike> '''SHUDDUP STOOPID HUMIE, WHUT DO YOU KNOW?!?!?! SHOUTAS IZ DA BEST!!!!!!!'''

'''YOU'Z CALL DAT SHOUTIN'? YOU'Z AIN'T A REEL SHOUTA, YA GIT!'''


'''A REAL SHOUTA'''

'''DROWNS OUT DA'''

'''COMPUTISHUN!'''

'''I Konkur!'''


'''I'z prefur sneekin' up to some hummie and shoutin' in iz ear from reel gut close.'''


Anyone caught messing with this section again will get their shit handed to them. Do you know how fucking hard it is to make sure this shit is right? I can't do this AND dodge those fucking Orks. I'm a janitor, not a FUCKING NINJA!

'''See, iffin' you'z had sum of dat purpley paint, dis wouldn' be a problem now, would it?'''

''' 'e got youz good, e' did. aneewayz da squigs ated da inturn again. Git ta cleenen dat wod ya.'''

===Brewerz===
Again, not technically retconned, but never mentioned after about 3rd Edition. Brewerz, or Brewer Boyz function much like Mekboys or Mad Doks do, knowing the inns and outs of brewing through genetically innherited inntuition. They make alcohol out of squigs. Made everything from beers to malts to meads to liquors to scotches. Yes, certain squigs can be made into scotch. No, no grains are involved in the process. No, they've never don this in Scotland. No, you may not question this.
SQUIGGIE WALKER - RED LABEL! COS IT ZOGZ YOU IN DA BRAIN FASTA!
''Eend out of mashrooms too booss!'' 
Basically, they brew babies into beer sometimes. 
 
<strike>'''HERESY, ORK HERESY, ANY IMPERIAL CITIZENS WILL BE MURDERED ON SIGHT AFTER READING THIS.'''</strike>''' *WHAM* OY BOSS, DEM HUMIES IZ TRYN'A TAKE AWAYZ OUR SQUIG JUICE!
'''

''' Zoggin DAMN'IT! NOT AGAIN!'''

===Female Orks===

MY EYES!!!! THEY BURN!!!

Vaguely referenced in older fluff and glimpsed during Blood Bowl, sacrificed because nobody wants to see those canonized saggy Ork tits (Except [[/d/]]), and fucking whores (and ye mum). Suffice to say, some drawfags will still draw them and several on [[/tg/]] will doubtlessly [[Faptau|fap]] to it. Considering how many random mutations are seen amongst the Orks, the possibility is [[Meme|more likely than you'd think]]. In normal canon, Orks are asexual, popping out of fungal growths in the ground...

...but in the older fluff, when the Orks were basically Fantasy Orcs in space, there ''were'' female orks. Later fluff [[retcon]]ned this, so that in later parts of their life cycle Orks would temporarily develop sexual characteristics and go bang one another. For the sake of Games Workshop's writers' self-respect, this too was also retconned. And all but the drawfags are happy for that. All in all though, the idea of female orks or goblinoids of any sort is much more readily accepted across most genres involving greenskins of any sort, so the decision may more likely have been to make the Orks dependent on getting blown up to repopulate along with being hardlined for blockbuster style war (though, as with all evolution, this is mutable to change, as there are Orks like the Blood Axes who understand ideas like trading with da' humies', peace, and using functional armor and weapons that don't stop working just because da' mob' believes dey are useless. SEE, HUMIES ARE GUD' F'R SOME FINGS BUT NOT EVERY FING!).

 Oi'm twalf an' wots dis? 

===Brain Boyz===
Brain Boyz is how the Orks call the Old Ones. The retcon is that the Orks' origin has shifted around a few times, such as the Brain Boyz being the ancestors of the Snotlings (although the Orks still believe that, but it's no longer the official explanation it was in Rogue Trader).

(Dat'z still canon! Codex 7th ED 2014 and we'z seen it in the one before dat un!!!! What shrooms did ya zoggin' gits eat?!)

==Ork Klanz==
Oi, listen up ya gits. Dere's six diverant majah clanz of Ork, and dey's all right 'ard. Da clanz waz made way back by [[The Beast|the biggest, baddest warboss dere eva waz]], startin' out as his specialist boyz before dey became dey own klanz.

<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Dere's da '''Snakebites''', and dey'z a buncha fundie gits what won't use any teknowlogy more complicated den a [[choppa]] an' warpaint. Anytime dere's a world dat a WAAAAAGH smashed up, it gets full o' fundie boyz. When we pick em up, dey run off ta da Snakebites anyway instead o' learnin how ta fight propa. But dey got squiggoths, an' every WAAAAGH needs really big killy tings. Snakebites wear brown, like a buncha zoggin' Amish folk.
* Da '''Bad Moonz''', what gotz lotsa teef 'cause dey grow faster den any other orks, so dey'z a buncha rich gits. 'at meanz dat dey's got da best squigs and dakka, but since dey'z such lazy gits, dey's [[Tau|no good at choppin' an' stompin']], so other orks can always just find a Bad Moon and stomp his teef out. Bad Moonz wear Yella, da color a big booms and shiny bits.
* '''Goffs''' are a buncha gloomy gits what don't ever have any fun and don't give a grot's toss about dakka, but dey'z somma da 'ardest of all da orks. [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]] himself wuz a Goff. Dats why he's so big, 'ard, an mean. Goffs wear black, da color a bein' DED 'ARD!
* Da '''Evil Sunz''''re all part a da Kult a Speed, and dey've got da most Meks, so dey're always muckin' about with teknowlogical equipment an speedy karts. Deyz big believas in da color red, cuz RED 'UNZ GO FASTA!
* '''Deffskullz''' are a buncha teevin', lootin' gits what'll grab anyfing <del>what's not nailed</del> if it's nailed down they'll loot the nails den loot da fing that was nailed down an' make it orky. [[Looted|Anyfing]]. Even in da middle of a scrap. Da mekz loves em, though, cuz nobody'z got more bitz and gubbinz than a Deffskull Loota. Deffskullz all seemz ta have some kinda technikal know-wotz, dough. Deffskullz wear da color Blue, cuz Blue's a lucky color.
* And, last of all but not least, dere's da '''Blud Axez'''. Dey're da ones what've been hangin' around da stinkin' humies fer ages too long, and gone and developed all sorts a un-orky tings like ''taktiks'' an' ''recownasense'' an' ''camo'flage'' an worse of all da magikal and feared cry of ''retreat''. Dey've even got a sayin' bout it: ''"If we runs for it, it don't count as losing, cuz we can also come back for anuvver go, see?"'' Dey'z mocked as cowardly gits by most of da boyz, but cause dey be dead cunning dey'z da main source of da best warbosses in WAAAAAAAGH! time (Next ta Da Prophet him self). An' its '''alwayz''' WAAAAAAAGH! time, ya git! Blud Axez wear cammerflage, but at least they paint it nice an' bright so's you can see'em coming.

Later, when da humies learned dat der was six Beasts, and each lead a lejun o Boyz, dey started tinking dat each o da Clanz were da rem-re-leftovers o each Beast's lejun.</ul>

===Ork Non-Klanz===
<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Den dere's da '''[[Freebooterz|Freebootaz]]''', boyz wut left deir klan ta become merks an' piratz an' dat, Freebooterz iz often kicked o' deir klan for likin' sumtin' dat izn't violence more dan violence, like [[Kaptin Badrukk]] (teef), [[Wazdakka Gutsmek]] (goin' fast), or [[Zodgrod Wortsnagga]] (snotlings), but some leave o' deir own accord for similar reasons, like [[Kaptin Bluddflagg]] (loot). Freebootaz will even work for stupid 'umies for shinies (or hats), though dat don't mean dey won't turn 'round an 'ave a go at dem too.
* '''Feral Orkz''' are like Snakebites, but coz dey don't have a choice, what with not 'avin' access to Ork kulture seein' 'az dey don't have space travel. Often join the Snakebites as soon as dey'z recruited by a WAAAAAAGH.
* '''Speed Freekz''' is what you call da members o' da '''Kult o' Speed''', a klub any Ork what likes goin' fast a lot can join, not just da Evil Sunz.
</ul>

==Ork Daily Life==

[[File:Wh40k online concept.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Your average Ork home. Quite cozy when it comes down to it, really.]]

Morning.
GET UP! Doesn't matter when . But usually in the mid morning, -unless a nob kicks him in the face cause he is late for something, which he usually is. Next eat. Either the breakfast his pet grot brings him or the grot it self. Orks dont much care it all tastes the same dipped in mud and fried on a stick chased with some fungus beer.
Hit the drops. Yes the communal act of using the local bog. Literally. He might get a scar on his duff to show off if the Squigs are feisty that morning. Then swagger about and try to find new things to kill. Or new ways to kill things. This lasts till about noon.

Noon
LUNCH! Fungus rums and beers. Squig pies and mushroom fries. Plenty of fights break out at lunch usually from a loota stealing another Orks 'sweet-squig' dessert. Or some nob mouths off when drunk. Either way LUNCH! Next nap time/ wrekreation. Most Orks, having spent a very busy day trying to think up new ways to kill or new things to kill, will take a nap. Usually the average rank and file lad who has nothing better to do. It is around now that the more specialized Orkoids shall gather in their respective mobs and set about spending afternoon and early evening doing what they do best. Be it practicing blowing crap up if tankbustaz. Racing around the camp as speed freaks. Helping the meks if lootas or burnas. <strike>Hiding in plain sight if kommand-</strike> Move along, nofink to see 'ere.

Evening
WORK TIME! The boss or local big mek or Warp'ead bullies most every one around the camp center and gets up on his WAAAGH!!! Banner-tower and starts to bark out orders on what they will attack that night, or where they will hit to steal material to build his next projekt, or give a flashy psycho-pyrotectic light show during a prophetic chant. (though sometimes if no one got up till half past 5 they plan it during the early morning.) Depending on the Clan majority this can be as simple as "Smash dis!" (A goff) to "Ok Dis team needs ta be 'ere right when da rockets hit Or we wont-" <strike>(Yeah Blood axes dont know when to shut up) </strike> '''*THUMP*''' ZOGGIN' 'Umiez.

Midnight
DA ORKING HOUR! Do what was stated in the evening until they get tired and go home to bed. It don't count as failing cause they will try again tomorrow. Or pull it off and party all night (to the dismay of the defeated) until they pass out.

Even the Daily Life of the Ork is a miniature WAAAGH!!!

==Reasons it Rokks to be an Ork==
# We'z gotz a shiney new 7th ork-dition Codex-fingy!
# We'z da biggest an' da strongest.
# We'z made fer fightin' an' winnin'.
# We'z got more boyz dan anyone else.
# All an ork eva wantz to do fo'eva iz to keep fightin', winnin', an' lootin'.
# Dem mekboyz can loot anyfing an I mean [[Looted_Emperor|ANYFING]]!!
++''{{BLAM| Previous record has been made of note to Ordo Xenos for immediate actions to be taken. The Emperor Protects}}''++

Ummm, wot woz dat? Zog, I've lost count of da resuns for being an Ork!
# We'z already know everythin' wotz wort' learnin'.
# We'z da 2nd least [[grimdark]] race in da galaxy. BUT DA BEZT GREENDARK hur hur hur!
# Da painboyz can fix ya up right'n proppa, even if yer bloody 'ead'z chopped off.
# We'z got da shiniest bitz, or we'z 'bout to krump da git dat does.
# The longa ya fite, the bigga and stronga ya get.
# Teef's legal tenda. Punchin' sum git in da face getz youz a day'z meal.
# If da mekboy can finks it, he can build it.
# An' if he sayz it workz, he's roight.
# We'z da orkz an' dey iz not.
# Dem 'umiez and marine boyz screamin' "FER DA EMPRER", an dem spikey boys yellin' "BLOOD FO' DA BLOOD GOD!" is nofin' kompared to "WAAAAAAAAAGH!"
# Da red wunz will '''alwayz''' go fasta.
# Purple iz da sneekiest colah.
# Yello' iz da 'splodiest colah.
# Blu iz da lukiest colah.
# Green iz da orkiest colah.
# I haz a hole in me chest an' a choppa stuck to me leg? Didn' notice it while I wuz krumpin dem spiky boyz.
# Unlike dem 'umiez, greyskins, an' panzees, anyone can be a warboss usin' nofin' more den a choppa an' a litl bit o' dakka.
# Even if all da boyz get krump'd, we'z still win. Da only way da gits can zog us off is by [[Exterminatus|dakkain' da 'ole bludy planet]].
# You'z can trade in yer dakka fer moah choppa, or vice versah, and you iz still Orky enuff.
# You'z kan build an army of serial [[METAL BOXES|bawkses]] an' duk' tape an' maybe a bit o' spikez an' bitz and still look reel smart an' orky.
# Rolling a double six with Shokk Attack Gun.
# Some Git shootz 90% of Your squad, but the Nob smackz one boy on the 'ead and everybody iz doing good.
# You'z kan talk legally like a retard.
# Giving da boyz a frying pan on the 'ead and a fender on the shoulda makes dem 'arder.
# Putting dem in a fridge makez dem mega'ard.
# You'z kan use every armiez gunz, but none kan use Yourz.
# If you die you get proppa afterlife wiz lotta fighnin' an' booze, instead of being raped by laffin' daemons for eternity.
# You WILL die of laffin' if You play orkz.
# Eiff Edishun iz da horde edishun! We'z can field more boyz dan dem 'humies or bug fingies!
# Lastly, an' most importantly, da mane reezun it rokkz ta be an Ork iz dis:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


==Reasons it sucks to be an Ork==
# You're the one species that is actually dumber than humanity. <strike>{{BLAM|HERESY!}}</strike> *THUMP* LOK BOSS I GOT MEH WUN UH DEM UMIES!!!!
# Your war cry "WAAAGH!" is overused by everyone. LIEK IF "FOR DA EMPRAH!!!" IZN'T OVERUZZED AZ 'ELL
# No matter how hard you try, you will never achieve enough dakka... and if you did, it'd end up destroying you too. A TRAGGADY, DAT IS!
# Despite having some awesome-looking guns, you can't shoot things for shit. Your standard Ballistic Skill is 2 (which means at best hitting things on a 5+), and when you ''do'' shoot somebody successfully it's probably due to sheer volume of bullets more than anything else. YOU SAY DAT LOIKE IT'S A FUKKEN BAD THING! 
# Your sole purpose in stories is to distract the Space Marines and the Imperial Guard from more dangerous threats like Chaos, Tyranids or Necrons. BUT WE'Z GET TA HAVE A REAL GREAT FIGHT WHILEZ BEIN' A DISTRAKSHUN. SO IT'Z STILL ALL GOOD. ALSO HAV YOU EVEN READ DA BEAST ARISES WE ZOG DEM HUMMIES UP. 
# Your army falls apart at the seams the minute your Warboss dies. NAH, WE'S JUST GOT TA FIGURA' OUT WHUZ IN CHARGE NEXT, DAN WE COMES BACK AROUND TA FUMP EM AGAIN! <strike> Hiss! By that time we've NOMNOMNOMNOM'D on you </strike> '''*CRUNCH*''' ANUDDA 'EAD FER ME POINTY STIKK!
# Anytime you use anything, from your smallest pistol to your [[Battlefleet Gothic|largest space ship]], you have the same chances of surviving its use as a grot snuggling an overcharged standard issue Imperial [[Plasma Weapons|Plasma Gun]]. Offset by the fact you can survive 4th degree burns, decapitation, being septic, and acquiring space tetanus. OY, DOK. WUTZ DIS TETANATHINGY? CAN WE'Z SQUISH ET?
# In Second Ed there was an alarming risk that your entire army might die before the battle actually started because almost no Ork units had sealed armour. ORKZ DUN' NEED ARMER! NOT WEN ORKZ GOT DAKKA!! SMASH DEM GITS WITOUT'IT!
# You have a mushroom and two spore pods dangling between your legs, and Kroot find it a delicacy. <strike> GOOD MEAT BAKKAWW! </strike> *THUMP* I DUNNO WUT DIS DUN SAID BUT IT URT ME EYES SO I KRUMPED IT!!!!
# You're part of [[Squad broken]]. WELL, UH... ZOGGIT. WE GOT NUFFIN CLEVA TA SAY BOUT DAT. MAYBE SUMFING ABOUT IT BEING MADE BY DEM NECKBEARDED GROTZ WIV DA FEDORAZ AN STUFF
# <strike>You haven't had a new codex since 4th edition. And it's starting to show.</strike> SHUT IT YA GIT, WE'ZE DA ORKS AND YOU'Z A BUNCH O PANSY GITS! B'SIDES, WE IZ GOING TA GET NEW CODEX DIS 6TH ED! OI BOSS WEZ GOT A SEVENF EDISHUN CODEX BEFORE THE PANSY GITS DID! N NOW WE'Z GOTZ A SHINEY NEW 7 ORK-DITION CODEX-FINGY! ZOGGIN' GORK! DIS EYFF EDISHUN KODEX IS DE'D KILLY! 
# <strike>There is a slight chance that [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is going to write 6th edition codex. If so, in the next codex you'll read something like this: "The Orks insatiable thirst for violence is, really, just a way of coping with the angst they feel that no matter what they do, they will never be Ultramarines."</strike> WHO KEEPS LETTIN' DEZ' HUMIES IN 'ERE! WE'Z BLOODY INFESTED! GET DA BURNAZ! <strike>(Also [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is apparently too busy with pestering Forge world for more Space marine resin collections to be converted into plastic for the main product line to be bothered with our humble bumbling green skins.)</strike> Tipakill 'umie bee'ayevyohr dat iz. Alwayz ignorin' da orky fingz in loif an' only payin' attentchuhn to zoggin' 'umie fingz. Downroight shaymfol dat iz. Da onlee REEL orky 'umie dere iz iz dat Kaptuhn Yarik; Gork - or eh, iz it Mork? - bless 'iz 'eart. (Trust us greenskin, Matt Ward ignoring you is a good thing.) But waznt 'e fired fur being an annoying grot? I GOT DA BURNAZ!! WE HAVIN A BBQ?? MAKE MINE CRISPY AN DUN FORGET DA EXTRA SQUIG SAUCE
# Orks do not draw psychic power from the [[Warp]], [[Derp|but still take Perils of the Warp]]. DEM WEIRDBOY GITZ JUST ORK'D TOO 'ARD!
# <strike>if dere ain't any Stormboyz, yer army k'n get krumped by da Blu Gitz real easy like. No not [[Ultramarines|DEM]] blue gits The [[Tau|udda ones]] wif da nice dakka and puny stompas.</strike>'''*CRUNCH*''' OI! WHO LET DA GROT DO DA TALKIN?! WE JUS' SMASH DEM BLUEBOYZ WIT 'ARE CHOPPAS WHEN WE GET CLOSE, AN' IF DAT DON'T WORK WE JUST MATCH DERE AMOUNT OF DAKKA WIT SOME PRETTY KILLY SHOOTAS. UNLESS DEY SEND DA RED COMMIT THO... GOOD FING DEY GOT RID OF HIM!
# Even doh dere is [[Yarrick|wun humie]] dat foights good and ard and iz real ded killy, ee iz da greatest enemy ov da Orkz. *THUNK* DA GREATEST ENNEMY OF DA ORKS IZ DA RED COMMIT! DAT BLUE BOY'S STOMPA IS FREE TIMES FASTA DAN A REGULAR WUN!
# <strike>You probably dont have a penis. You can piss on Space Marines, only to die a short while later.</strike> IZ DAT BAD FING? OOMIEZ SAYZ DAT IT VERY HURTZ WHEN WE 'IT EM IN IT? Wait... Dat what dey call the mushroom'n'spore pods? Poor suckas! Dey have PAIN nerves down dat way? No WONDER dey scream so bad when we kick em there. 
#<strike>Even (some) vegetarians will eat you</strike> NOT IF WE EAT DEM FIRST! HAH! 
# You all piss yourselves at the very mention of the name of a certain [[Farsight|Red Armored Swordsman]]. WE'Z JUST BE SO EXCITED CAUSE DAT BLUE-BOY ACTUALLY PUTS UP A FIGHT! More so than the Orks did against an old Ethereal with a pointed stick! *KRUMP* SHUT IT YA GREAT LANKY BLUE GROT 

== See Also ==
* [[Grot]]
* [[Snotling]]
* [[The Beast]]
* [[The War of The Beast]]
* [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]]
* [[Gorgutz_%27Ead_%27Unter|Warboss Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter]]
* [[Deffboss]]
* [[WAAAGH]]
* [["Da Tragedy of Hamlet, boss of Denmark" by Shake-da-boss-pole]]
* [[Makbeff]]
* [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Orks(7E)|Tactics/Orks]]
* [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Orks/Dred_List|Dreadnought List]]
* [[Codex Orks: Space Odin Edition]]
* [[Ork Gunz]]
* [[Gargant]]
* [[Stompa]]
* [[Deff Skwadron]]
* [[Scraplootas]]
* [[Da Chopshop]]
* [[Ork Trek]]
* [[Ironjawz]] for one of their Age of Sigmar counterparts.
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whxcq4I0kAo Da Ork Song]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXCLtD5batc Dem Ork Boyz Song]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Ork flowchart.png|WAAAAGH flowchart
Image:WAAAAGH.jpg|WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Image:Ork_WTF_is_this.jpg|WOT'Z DAT
Image:Orks_are_made_4_rokkin.jpg|ORKZ IZ DA ROKKINEST
Image:WOT_DA_ZOG.jpg|DA PAINBOSS IZ GONNA WANT TA LOOK AT DIS WOTEVA IT IS
Image:Disguise_1.jpg|Orks are the best at disguises
Image:Disguise_2.jpg|Stoopid [[beakie|beakies]]
Image:Disguise_3.jpg|Weeabork
Image:Orktaku.jpg|A different sort of Weeabork
Image:Samurork4.jpg|The truest of Weeaborks
Image:Da_warboss_Lincoln.jpg|The assassination of warboss Lincoln.
Image:GorknMork.jpg|Gork and Mork
Image:Ork_Fortress.jpg|WE'Z AMUZED BY ENTIRE PUNY 'UMIE IMPERIUM
Image:Pimp_Ork_1.jpg|PompadOrk
Image:Pimp_Ork_2.jpg|EY YOU GITZ WE 'EARD YOU LIKE TA MAKE IT ORKY SO WE ORKYFIED YER ORKY SQUIGOFF SO YOU'Z CAN WAAAGH WHILE YOO'Z WAAAGHIN'
Image:Killskata.jpg|Jet Grind RadiOrk
Image:Gorkken_Morkann_by_Jaekyu.jpg|'OO DA 'ELL DO YA FINK WE IS?!!!
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz_2.jpg|IT'Z TIME FER SUM IKSPERIMINTS
Image:Ork_teaparty.jpg|No reason we can't be civil
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz.jpg|SIANTZ. It works.
Image:Oldboyz.jpg|Oldboyz can Waaagh! too. They just need a nap afterwords.
Image:Orkpoke.jpg|SlowpOrk
Image:Ork_Anatomy.jpg|Inaccurate (but in-universe) depiction of orky gubbinz.
Image:Orkspekta_gubbinz.jpg|Orkspekta Gubbinz iz on da case!
Image:Orkishbeprepared.jpg|<strike>Jeremy Irons is orky, right?</strike> COURZE 'E IZ! E'Z ZO ORKY YOU'Z CAN'T LISTEN TA DA ORIGINAL SONG WIWOUT 'EARING DIS!
Image:Green.jpg|Supagreen
Image:1229746903774.jpg|[[Deff Skwadron]]. Zoggin' bootiful.
Image:Proud'n'Bootiful.jpg
Image:1239594444871.jpg|Transform and WAAAGH! (Holyshit this thing actually transforms.)
Image:1258887158852.jpg| Essentially....this is the best thing ever.
Image:mythbusta.jpg
Image:Ork_love_potion.jpg|Love Can WAAAGH!
Image:Ork with Lego shootah.jpg
Image:Squig_drops.jpg
Image:Eldars_are_orky.jpg|[[Eldar]]z iz da most orky race evar, ya gitz!
Image:Ork Powuz.png|An alternate explanation of how a WAAAGH works.
File:Mork and gork orks warhammer 40k 1334752549083.jpg|Brutally cunning or cunningly brutal?
File:CoDorks.jpg|Only Orks are capable of making something utterly godawful into something completely Orky.
File:SmurfOrks.jpg|Orks, mastaz uf stelff'en
File:Bork_Kube.jpg|A viable Ork space ship design
</gallery></center>

{{Template:Orks-Forces}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}

[[category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Orks]]
[[Category: Xenos]]

Ork

2017-10-03T03:32:39Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Ork Daily Life */

{{awesome}}
'''''"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"''''' 
:-Da Orks, all da zoggin' time.
[[File:Orks attack3.jpg|600px|thumb|right|'Ere we zoggin' go, let's break sum' 'eads!]]
{{Topquote|War means fighting, and fighting means killing.|Nathan Bedford Forrest}}
{{Topquote|War is the business of barbarians.|Napoleon Bonaparte}}

The '''Orks''' are a race in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Commonly known as "Greenskins" or "the Green Tide", they're probably the most numerous and infestive race in the entire 40K setting, or at least on par with the [[Tyranids]]. They have a ''[[Warhammer Fantasy]]'' equivalent, the only major differences being that fantasy Orks are now called Orruks, and they have a (slightly) lower level of technology relative to the setting.

==Overview==
[[File:Ork_Boy.jpg|200px|thumb|left|[[Ork_Boy|The original Boy]]. This guy has been around since 2nd ed.]]
Orks are the most successful race of the [[Warhammer 40,000 | 41st millennium]]. Despite their entire lack of structured education or training, they seem to be very proficient with all kinds of technology, which they inevitably utilize for their armaments (of which firearms and vehicles are the most common). This is explained away in the fluff by their origins: they were created by the [[Old Ones#Warhammer 40,000|Old Ones]] to be a warrior race called the ''Krork,'' and some of them (the Mekboyz) were genetically hard-wired to have a pre-programmed proficiency for technological engineering. Unfortunately, the Old Ones died before they could finish their little science project; specifically the psychic control mechanism. The ancient Krork were known to have fought the ancient Eldar empire when the latter was at the peak of its power and were implied to have been a considerable threat (a Harlequin in M32 compares the nearly invincible hordes of the Beast as being like children compared to them).
This means that such war machines simply fight everything, everywhere, all the time. In principle, Orks can loot just about anything: the minor greenskins, such as "Grotz" ([[goblin]]s) can construct several working vehicles and machines out of mere scrap (They actually can't but orks believe they can so it happens see: a few paragraphs below).

The Orks derive much of their success from their reproductive process: Orks are, essentially, a psychosensitive hybrid of animal and fungi, not unlike a very complex version of a lichen. One advantage is a redundancy of vital organs, making them able to easily survive events such as head transplants and the fact that it's not easy to kill an individual Ork since they could very well survive injuries that would put a human to a crippled state. In fact there is a [[Valhalla|Valhallan]] folktale about a relative finding an Ork, [[Carnifex#Old_One_Eye|thawing it out only for it to attempt to kill them]]. Another advantage is their ability to grow larger as they win more battles (due to the aforementioned psychosensitivity): an Ork who is winning a fight is enjoying himself, which causes fluctuations in the gestalt field that all Orks generate. These fluctuations supercharge the Ork's physiology, causing the Ork to gain muscle mass and evolve. Consequently, if an Ork should somehow be incapable of fighting (like being imprisoned); they will actually ''devolve'' instead, causing the Ork to become pudgy and lethargic. This was observed during [[Xenology]] where a captive Ork was eventually found morbidly obese when the Inquisitor brought him out for dissection. Hence,the saying: "Orkz iz made fer fighten' and winnin'" applies literally in their case, as the incentives of fighten' and winnin' are what makes or breaks an Ork.

In addition, the fungal part of their physiology allows Orks to reproduce asexually en masse through underground fungal colonies that act as self-sustaining ecosystems. Reproductive spores enter the topsoil, produce fungal mycelia that assimilate base nutrients and could exchange genetic information with other mycelia, putting normal Human sexual reproduction to shame, and eventually produce lesser Orkoids: squigs and Grotz. The Grotz cultivate the protein-rich squigs in preparation for the emergence of the greater Orks, which take longer to develop. All in all, this cycle was designed to fight against the Necrons, which sterilized a planet to its bacteria. Orks can terraform a barren planet into a veritable paradise this way, though what defines "paradise" is a point of discussion; if you like endless wars and tribal conflicts in a mushroom rich planet, it probably is.

Though all Orks discharge reproductive spores throughout their lives, the most significant and numerous emissions occur when an Ork ''is dismembered or dies.'' This means that, for Orks, combat and death are their principal means of reproduction and genetic exchange, and a Space Marine/Guardsman chainsawing/shooting/artillery-bombarding an ork just results in ten thousands, if not millions, of Orks coming for ya, kinda like [[tyranids]]. Nice Job chainsawing it, Space Marine. Due to this, an Ork infestation is incredibly hard to handle if kept unchecked since it won't take them long to get enough boyz to launch a full-scale WAAAGH! to overrun an entire planet and necessitate [[Exterminatus]]. We can use flamethrowers, [[Plasma]], nukes, [[melta]] weapons or anything high-energy to eradicate any spores and fungi, saving the world from the eventual Exterminatus, but then again, efficiency ain't manly n' [[grimdark]] enough compared to good ol' spore-releasing bolters, chainswords and artillery.

Orks only have two popular combat doctrines: [[Choppa|choppy]], which involves giving your opponents a good stomping up close, and [[dakka|shooty]] which involves spitting out as many bullets as possible with an assortment of shootas, and the faster it shoots; the better. That said, a good shoota should also still be able to kill enemies ''while'' putting out a lot of dakka, otherwise it wouldn't be killy (and woe betide an Ork who isn't killy). Because of the Ork's naturally low penchant for accuracy; they typically get around this problem in two methods: the first one is to have a gun that simply shoots bullets as fast as Orkily possible that the wielder ''should'' be able to hit something eventually (strapping two or more shootas together is a crude but effective way to go about this). The second one is to make the gun really killy every time it shoots, like putting a dangerously high-explosive shell in a kannon that can obliterate an entire building in one shot.

Orks are commonly believed to be stupid and superstitious by the other races of the 40k world, but they can also be cunning and quick on the draw. Orks are always ready for a fight and while you can trick them, they quite like the idea of tricking people back.

Their philosophy of DA RED WUNZ GO FASTA is the ultimate truth: because of the aforementioned gestalt field, Ork vehicles painted red will, ultimately, go faster than Ork vehicles that are ''not'' painted red because the Orks believe that Red makes everything go faster:
DIS 'UMIE GIT THINKZ DAT DA RED WUNZ DON'T GO FASTA? DEY DON'T KNOW DAT ANYFING PAINTED RED MAKES IT DA BEST AN' MAKES IT GO FASTAAAA COZ RED IZ BEST! '''*WHAM!*''' NO IT AIN'T, YA BLEEDIN' SQUIG, '''GREEN''' IZ BEST! '''*Boots up the bog*''' SHUT YER GOB, 'E WAS TALKIN' 'BOUT DA TRUKKS, YA GIT!

We can assume that this cuts both ways, with enemies such as the Blood Angels and White Scars gaining the same boost due to their use of red paint.

A hallmark of Orkoid, for lack of a better term, civilization is the WAAAGH!. Pronounced similar to "war" as the "GH" is silent. Always written in all-caps, with at least three "A"s and an exclamation point, the WAAAGH! occurs when an Ork population reaches critical mass and a dominant Warboss appears. A Warboss is an Ork Alpha who is bigger than all the other Orks and have proven his right to lead by either his sheer size or krumpin' all the other big Orks that thinks otherwise. Lesser Orks sense the presence of the Boss in the Orks' psychic field and follow him on what is often described as a combination of pub riot and holy war with a dash of genocide. The WAAAGH! accomplishes two things: it weeds out weaker Orks, keeping the species strong; and it facilitates genetic exchange and reproduction as the Orks die and release spores.

The Ork economy is based on teef, more information on which [[toof|can be found here]].

Ork religious beliefs also help manage their population. Orks believe in two gods, [[Gork]] and [[Mork]]. One is the god of cunning brutality and the other is the god of brutal cunning, the difference being that one hits you when you aren't looking and the other hits you harder when you are. Unfortunately, no one can decide which god is which, nor can the Orks decide which is better: cunning brutality or brutal cunning. These differences of opinion tend to lead to Gigantic Brawls, yet another method of keeping the Ork race strong, warlike and in check. Their division also keeps them perpetually divided, for it has been theorized that if the Orks were to ever unite in one big WAAAGH!, their gestalt reality-warping field might just as well turn omnipotent and crush all opposition

Ork society is effectively the perfect society. Its society is a Kratocracy (A Government ruled by the strongest, fitting for Orks) in maturity as all disputes are settled fairly quickly and painfully (just the way they like it). The economy is steady, as teef grow and rot at a reliable rate. Once a Boss is in charge, mostly everyone falls into place, and the Orks go and [[/tg/ Gets Shit Done|get shit done]].

Also, they probably killed the Imperial Fists. All of them.

Fun fact: The orks use black and white on their shock troops, because it reminds them of the Luna Wolves who destroyed them at Ullanor. The orks do not fear death, but they do fear the Luna Wolves. That is right, Horus traumatized them as a race more than the fucking grim reaper. Note: Why would you fear death, if death usually results in you being reborn into several thousands of yourself? Horus probably swept the spores up post battle and that's why they fear him. Though it's also worth mentioning that Orks harbor a natural fear of Commander Farsight too, whom they know as "Da Red Commit". Though given that the Dawn Blade consumes the souls of those it kills, it's likely that any Orks cut down by Farsight do not reproduce. But then again he was committing Ork genocide long before he found the blade so...

==Ork Teknology==

[[File:Dat zoggin bigmek by majesticchicken.jpg|220px|thumb|left|A perfect example of Ork tech. Powered by make-believe and the essence of love, and patched together with duct tape and chewing gum, the emperor himself has truly never seen finer craftsmanship or innovation.]]

Ork technology works mainly because the Orks think it does. The official explanation is that the subconscious gestalt psychic field that all Orks generate enables their technology to function; the stronger the field, the more unlikely their technological achievements become. In older versions of the fluff, if you hand an Ork a pipe and convince him it's a gun, it WILL shoot bullets. They're like reality-warping Physical "Gods", only weakened by their stupidity and their preference to fight each other instead of uniting, hence why the Imperium still manages to survive in these dark times. In later versions, this has been toned down from "impossible" to merely "unlikely" because GW won't keep anything canon that's that [[derp|badass]]. If Ork technology is held together by spit, duct tape, and hope, then the Orks' psychic field provides the hope.

For example: a Wartrukk with a mob of Orks in it sputters and dies. Da boyz hop out and have a look.
One of da boyz examines the readouts and says to the Nob driver, "Da bloody fing is outta gas!"
Said Nob hits the offending Ork in the face so hard that he falls unconscious. "Look 'ere, I'z da boss, and I sez I filled this fing up righ' before we left!"
The rest of da boyz look at each other, halfway convinced. He ''is'' the biggest Ork among them, and he ''did'' just prove it. Maybe he ''did'' fill it up right before they left. That's the sort of thing one does when one's in charge. Da boyz begin to file back into the Wartrukk, and with a satisfied nod, the Nob gets in and cranks her up. Because da boyz believe that there is plenty of fuel in the truck, one drop does for ten, and the Wartrukk and da boyz arrive just in time for the next fight.

The purpose for this sort of thing is primarily to compensate for the Orks' technological disadvantage by comparison with races like the [[Tau]], [[Necron]]s, or the [[Eldar]]. For example, a meat cleaver in the hands of an Ork can tear through the toughest ceramite armor if the Ork believes it will; for anyone BUT an Ork, a power weapon or the equivalent would be required to do so. This tends to work well for them, but not for the other races of the galaxy: Imperial observers note that Ork weapons generally will not function in the hands of a non-Ork. The only reason the Orks haven't exploited the limits of their generated gestalt field by creating easily made but devastatingly powerful weaponry that could eclipse the weapons of the other races is that they themselves do not know nor understand that they create said field, they believe that their equipment works because that's how the universe wants it to work, not because they themselves are making it work. Which I guess makes it true. This, in turn, makes for an interesting paradox: If orks managed to understand the physical universe as it is, they would not believe their "weapons" work, thus, stripping them of their psychic advantage. If there is a little ounce of disbelief, this would wreck their ability to... believe hard enough so as to manipulate reality.

This said, Orky know-wots DO have a say in stuff that the Orks build. Mekboyz build much of the stuff they do because they have been genetically ingrained with the knowledge on how to make and maintain their technology. While much of their tech runs because they want to, the basis is that the Orks ''can'' actually build a conceptually working frame to get all Orky on. This explains how Orks can build such technological wonders as the Shokk Attack Gun, which propels [[Snotling|Snotlings]] through the Warp and into the armor, tanks, [[Rape|and bodies]] of their enemies. Also, there ''have'' been instances of Ork tech working well in the hands of other races,( at least for a time till it blows up). Be careful though, most Ork players have ''very'' deep-set opinions on how Orky tech works, and [[skub|debates]] between them can generate much [[RAGE]].

Occasionally, if a "tech-caste" gets into control of an Ork society, ridiculous constructions can result. Best example we know about is the Telon Reach Empire and its central stronghold Gorro. A "scrapworld", Gorro was full of things that shouldn't have worked at all (Horus notes that individual bits of architecture inside were just too mad for any human to contemplate) and could withstand the normally planet-killing weapons on the Vengeful Spirit and Emperor's own flagship. The Orks defending it were far more advanced than most (everything from their augmententations to the accuracy of their ships' weapons) and had actually built a plasma reactor to hold their world together. Their function mostly relied on the Orks' gestalt, as the core began to fail as the Emperor, Horus and their respective posses carved through the population. Once the Emperor killed the resident Warboss and psychically burned the rest of the Orks (a preview of what he'd eventually do to Horus) the system went into total meltdown.

===Special Note on Orky Vehicles===
To properly describe what Ork vehicles are like is a difficult prospect, or perhaps an overlooked opportunity. Either way, few actually attempt to clarify in tangible terms what orkish vehicle-makers create.

Let's start with the venerable Trukk. Keep in mind that the standard Ork Boy is a hunched, monstrous, 7-foot-tall Hulk Hogan. Now, the Trukk is essentially an over-sized, skeletal pickup truck, with armored bus tires and a spiked ram-plate for a bumper. The frame is then covered in all manner of inch-thick armor plating, the basic standard in orkish vehicle armor. No Ork vehicle with more than two wheels has an engine smaller than a V8, and the trukk is no exception. A common brag for a trukk owner, "I'z put twelve silenderz in dis 'ere kart" (when not met with the classic "You shoulda sprung fer forteen!" comeback), is similar to a human saying he put an extra two cylinders in his car and overhauled his transmission.

Larger orkish vehicles, like the Big Trakk, often use V14 engines that any human would say belongs on a fishing trawler. Alternatively, some vehicles use turbine engines for extra torque (which is always a good thing) and a higher top speed (also a good thing), or crackling electrical engines (less popular than a good-old combustion engine, but can "accidentally" taze pesky Lootas or enemies who get too close (i.e. rammed)). Big Trakks are literally the size of a heavy tank, but are completely open-topped to provide a chassis for hauling Boyz or insanely big gunz into the fight. They have banks of fat-tired wheels or, most likely, four-plus-foot-wide treads. They have as much torque as a Battle Wagon and fear no infantry.

==Orks and the Emperor==

One theory of the [[Emperor|Emprahs]] continued existence (despite the fact his throne is in serious need of an MOT) is the fact that the Orks BELIEVE it to be so. As any self-respecting Weirdboy will tell you, what da boyz fink will 'appen (see below), so if they think the Emperor is still alive then alive he will be. Probably cos they're not stupid enough to realise he's a corpse more fucked than a Slaaneshi cultist at Ciaphas Cain's place.. 'ANG ON A SECOND.. I FINK DEY BE MAKIN FUN OF US...WELL.....MAYBE WE OUTTA GO STOMP SUM HUMIES! (thas rite, the "chaos boys" are messing with you orks, go stomp them in the name of the Emp... For the WAAAGGGHH!. aehm..)

==Special Groups of Orks==
Apart from the regular Boyz, there are several groups of Orks who specialize in a specific task or doctrine. Called Oddboys (if they are relatively normal when fighting time rolls around) or Wyrdboys (when they shoot lighting out of their eyes, gunz or eye-gunz). The most common ones are:

===[[Oddboys|Oddboyz]]===
This category is filled with Orks who express genetic predispositions to certain tasks. Here are your Mekboys (engineers), Painboys (doctors), Weirdboys (psykers), Madboyz (psychos), Slaverz (take care of grots, snotlings and slaves), [[Dorfs|Brewerz]] (makers of alcohol; retconned), [[Noise Marines|Rockaz]] (musicians; also retconned), and Shoutaz (communications experts).

====Kult of Speed====

[[File:Kult o speed by majesticchicken.jpg|250px|thumb|right|'''WAAAAAAAAGHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''']]

[[Speed freeks]] who commonly go into the battlefield on bikes hyped up on dakka and flashy bitz, as their name suggests, they'z like goin' faster dan fast. On tabletop, they're okay, since they're really shooty for Orks and fairly cheap. These guys field the classic Mobile Ork Army, which causes loads of [[Butthurt]] and [[Rage]] when people go up against them. Just look out for Lascannons.
*'''[[Deff Skwadron | Flyboys]]''' - Crazed pilots that like fast vehicles, death defying stunts, and lots of dakka. The better pilots, fighta aces, are held in great esteem only by other flyboys and tend to give themselves crazy-cool nicknames.

====[[Burna Boyz | Burna boyz]]====
Burna boyz are similar to standard orks in ability, possessing no unique qualities except every one of them being a pyromaniac. These boys are the type who would burn their own mother alive if she tried to stop them from playing with matches, even though Orks technically don't have moms. As such, they regularly burn their own comrades for the hell of it (to see them 'do da burny dance'). Their obsession with fire is of course, genetically coded, and this has a particular disadvantage during periods of time where stealth is of the essence. In fact, this pyromania coupled with the rate of accidental deaths among Orks may explain why Burna boyz aren't more common; after all, an Ork that accidentally burns himself to death wouldn't be able to spread his spores so easily. On a more lighthearted note, they are also quite fond of fungus cigars! GREEN IZ BEST

====[[Mekboy|Mekboys]]====
Meks are Orks who are capable of making the ramshackle yet effective weapons and vehicles the Orks use. They're primarily the ones who makes the warband's wagons, restore salvaged vehicles, and create/modify weapons. An Ork who lead bands of Mekboys is called a "Big Mek", and is a bitch to kill on tabletop if he's kitted out. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZQdaEFa_60 Five-up cover saves for everyone!] 'Ho says we aint smart 'n' such! Only fing betta den an ork is an ork wif a good bit of technorkology 

====[[Tankbustas]]====
Many Orks enjoy the odd explosion. These guys like that so much that they decided what better way to get their kicks than to get into a nice squad of 5-15 boys and try blowing tanks sky high with their rokkits. They also train Squigs to run into tanks while strapped to the hilt with explosives. And if neither of that works, run into close-combat and strike the tank with a rokkit attached to a metal stick. They get so high off this that they will enter the broken vehicle, eat any survivors, and drink the motor oil in a ritual act known as "GETTIN' TANKED!" 

====[[Lootas]]====
Lootas are Orks who are obsessed with pimping out their shootas by salvaging bitz from their enemies. Lootas are critically important to Orkish mechanical industry, because they head salvage operations and assist Meks where Grots can't. They're also the ones who loot wrecked tanks and vehicles after a battle to use as Looted Wagons, with the help of Mekboys, which means Orks can remobilize rapidly, and scale up to match tank-driving foes. <strike>When not fighting or looting, Lootaboyz are a menace to Orky society, stealing, swindling, making trouble, and being the reason other Boyz can't have nice things.</strike> WOT?! YIZ SAYIN' DERE'S TIME WHEN DA ORKZ AIN'T FOIGHTIN' OR LOOTIN'?! I OUTTA GIVE YA A STAMP!!!

====[[Flash Gitz]]====
<strike> DA PIMPIEST ORK IZ DA BESTEST ORK!!!!!!</strike> Dat is why dey arrogant Gits. They are another group of shoota-obsessed Orks known as "Flash Gitz"; rich, obnoxious Bad Moonz gits who buy powerful weapons and upgrades using their large stockpiles of [[toof|teef]]. They love nothing more than showing off their wealth and (supposedly associated) martial power. They do things like wearing ''FABOLOUS'' clothing, sporting huge banners declaring their awesomeness (shogun-style), and plating everything they have in gold, silver, platinum, or any other shiny metal they have at hand (although gold is preferred). Goldz iz da bestest. Flash Gitz boast the shootiest kustom shootaz in all of orkdom, sometimes known as "snazzgunz", which makes them an invaluable asset to their clan. Conversely, due to their boasting and attitude problems they often alienate pretty much every other Ork they work with, and are prone to getting their arrogant asses booted out of their group the moment they become less useful than annoying.

====[[Freebooterz]]====
Orks who raid and pillage the galaxy as MOTHERFUCKING PIRATES. And just to add to their awesomeness, they'll usually dress and/or speak like pirates. (W)AAARG! Well-known individuals include Kaptins Badrukk and Bludflagg.

====[[Ork Kommando|Kommandos]]====
Orks who managed to figure out that charging a gunline isn't always the best option, so dey'z da sneakiest of da Orks. They typically paint themselves purple, which Orks believe is the sneakiest color (and because Orks are Orks, purple does in fact make them harder to see ... don't ask how the fuck that one works, it just does Hav you eva seen a purpul ork? Course not, dey's too sneaky . Kommandos rely on stealth tactics rather than balls-out firepower, and achieve this by using crude camouflage techniques, Speshul Forces equipment such as NVGs, various types of grenades, and all those other gubbins that makes them all sneaky. The concept of Orks using tactics beyond drowning their enemies in corpses and bullets is so completely out there that a lot of Imperial commanders [[Skaven|do not believe that Kommandos actually exist]], but nobody laughed when a Kommando unit suddenly [[Blood Ravens|hi-jacked]] a unit of 3 [[Deathstrike Missile Launcher]]s inside a Mordian regiment's lines drove 1 to the front and proceeded to launch it at the their front lines, killing thousands, including a [[Baneblade]] (Except for the Orks, who laughed their faces off as this was happening). Meanwhile, the Kommandos ran off with the remaining one and 2 extra missiles.

Kommandos are typically distrusted by Orks due to their chosen battle strategy. They view as sneaking about rather than getting to a fight, right and proppa as "Muckin' about". The enjoyment of the color purple among them is also considered right strange. As there aint no such thing as a purple ork!

In practice, all of this boils down to a fairly simple difference in tactics. Whereas a normal Ork Boy will see the enemy and immediately [[WAAAGH|shout]], run up to him, and smash him in the head, a Kommando will see the enemy, hide behind a nearby [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|bush]]/[[Dorf|barrel]]/[[Creed|lamp-post]] and wait for the enemy to get close like 5 feet to 2 meters, THEN shout, run up to him, and smash him in the head.

An ork asked about Kommando groups. "I dinna see anyfing... Do you?"

====Feral Orks====
Hidden away in GW fluff are these guys. These guys are what happens after a WAAAGH! has left your planet. They crop up in wildernesses and form tribes. They don't have technology (like shootas) or any kind of mekboys or even good resources to build junk. They are roughly on par with your [[Warhammer Fantasy|Fantasy]] Orks, so you can just use your Fantasy army in 40k if you can fluff your army right. Not like it matters, it's the same tactic either game. They tend to have Grots, Kommandos and Weirdboys coming out of their ears, and love to ride big squigs. If you don't prune them back to the forest well enough, they might sic buttloads of squiggoths on you. Snakebites love these guys, and if space-born Orks pick them up, Feral Orks usually become Snakebites anyway.

They breed a special kind of Oddboy, the Pigdok, who is a combination of a Mek and a Dok, but excels at neither. They do surgical procedures like a stereotypical medicine man, wander around covered in robes and talismans given to them by the Weirdboy Shamans, and head the construction of things like ballistas and catapults, all the way up to magical stompy Idols and the [[Titans_40k#Orky_Titans|Steam Gargant]].

====[[Weirdboy | Weirdboyz]]====
Weirdboyz are Orks who are active psykers. All Orks are passive psykers, emitting their gestalt field, but Weirdboyz are the only ones who can decide they're gonna blow another Ork's face off with a mean look and a lightning bolt (well, the only Orks who can decide to do it and it'll happen). They tend to be crazy and can blow up if they're not careful. Even when they are careful. Sometimes blowing up is the preferred/expected option for a Weirdboy.

==Retcons==
All following Ork Oddboys have been retconned, at least by GW's word. They live on in our hearts (and custom-models) as:

===Rokkas===
[[Rogue Trader]] Orks with a penchant for hard rock, metal, leather armor, and overgrown hair squigs. While still technically retconned, they do seem to keep cropping up in the fluff. Also known as Goff Rokkas, these boyz tend to come out of the Goffs exclusively, but it isn't completely unknown for other Clans to spit out one of these crazy green "musicians". They play machine gun guitars and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_wdRy7x4Sc PARTY 'ARD!!!]
It should be noted that Rokkas were invented in the Eighties, so they don't play things like Death Metal as much as they do generic Metal, 80's Metal, electric guitar ballads, and Hard Rock. It should also be noted that they are still available on Games Workshop's site. PARTY ON!
===Shoutas===
These orks have over-developed lungs and super-strong vocal cords so that they can [[Derp|yell really loud.]] Yes, you heard me right. They yell across Gargant-tops and over battlefield din to act as a telecommunications array. <strike>See, not all things that were retconned were too good to last.</strike> '''SHUDDUP STOOPID HUMIE, WHUT DO YOU KNOW?!?!?! SHOUTAS IZ DA BEST!!!!!!!'''

'''YOU'Z CALL DAT SHOUTIN'? YOU'Z AIN'T A REEL SHOUTA, YA GIT!'''


'''A REAL SHOUTA'''

'''DROWNS OUT DA'''

'''COMPUTISHUN!'''

'''I Konkur!'''


'''I'z prefur sneekin' up to some hummie and shoutin' in iz ear from reel gut close.'''


Anyone caught messing with this section again will get their shit handed to them. Do you know how fucking hard it is to make sure this shit is right? I can't do this AND dodge those fucking Orks. I'm a janitor, not a FUCKING NINJA!

'''See, iffin' you'z had sum of dat purpley paint, dis wouldn' be a problem now, would it?'''

''' 'e got youz good, e' did. aneewayz da squigs ated da inturn again. Git ta cleenen dat wod ya.'''

===Brewerz===
Again, not technically retconned, but never mentioned after about 3rd Edition. Brewerz, or Brewer Boyz function much like Mekboys or Mad Doks do, knowing the inns and outs of brewing through genetically innherited inntuition. They make alcohol out of squigs. Made everything from beers to malts to meads to liquors to scotches. Yes, certain squigs can be made into scotch. No, no grains are involved in the process. No, they've never don this in Scotland. No, you may not question this.
SQUIGGIE WALKER - RED LABEL! COS IT ZOGZ YOU IN DA BRAIN FASTA!
''Eend out of mashrooms too booss!'' 
Basically, they brew babies into beer sometimes. 
 
<strike>'''HERESY, ORK HERESY, ANY IMPERIAL CITIZENS WILL BE MURDERED ON SIGHT AFTER READING THIS.'''</strike>''' *WHAM* OY BOSS, DEM HUMIES IZ TRYN'A TAKE AWAYZ OUR SQUIG JUICE!
'''

''' Zoggin DAMN'IT! NOT AGAIN!'''

===Female Orks===

MY EYES!!!! THEY BURN!!!

Vaguely referenced in older fluff and glimpsed during Blood Bowl, sacrificed because nobody wants to see those canonized saggy Ork tits (Except [[/d/]]), and fucking whores (and ye mum). Suffice to say, some drawfags will still draw them and several on [[/tg/]] will doubtlessly [[Faptau|fap]] to it. Considering how many random mutations are seen amongst the Orks, the possibility is [[Meme|more likely than you'd think]]. In normal canon, Orks are asexual, popping out of fungal growths in the ground...

...but in the older fluff, when the Orks were basically Fantasy Orcs in space, there ''were'' female orks. Later fluff [[retcon]]ned this, so that in later parts of their life cycle Orks would temporarily develop sexual characteristics and go bang one another. For the sake of Games Workshop's writers' self-respect, this too was also retconned. And all but the drawfags are happy for that. All in all though, the idea of female orks or goblinoids of any sort is much more readily accepted across most genres involving greenskins of any sort, so the decision may more likely have been to make the Orks dependent on getting blown up to repopulate along with being hardlined for blockbuster style war (though, as with all evolution, this is mutable to change, as there are Orks like the Blood Axes who understand ideas like trading with da' humies', peace, and using functional armor and weapons that don't stop working just because da' mob' believes dey are useless. SEE, HUMIES ARE GUD' F'R SOME FINGS BUT NOT EVERY FING!).

 Oi'm twalf an' wots dis? 

===Brain Boyz===
Brain Boyz is how the Orks call the Old Ones. The retcon is that the Orks' origin has shifted around a few times, such as the Brain Boyz being the ancestors of the Snotlings (although the Orks still believe that, but it's no longer the official explanation it was in Rogue Trader).

(Dat'z still canon! Codex 7th ED 2014 and we'z seen it in the one before dat un!!!! What shrooms did ya zoggin' gits eat?!)

==Ork Klanz==
Oi, listen up ya gits. Dere's six diverant majah clanz of Ork, and dey's all right 'ard. Da clanz waz made way back by [[The Beast|the biggest, baddest warboss dere eva waz]], startin' out as his specialist boyz before dey became dey own klanz.

<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Dere's da '''Snakebites''', and dey'z a buncha fundie gits what won't use any teknowlogy more complicated den a [[choppa]] an' warpaint. Anytime dere's a world dat a WAAAAAGH smashed up, it gets full o' fundie boyz. When we pick em up, dey run off ta da Snakebites anyway instead o' learnin how ta fight propa. But dey got squiggoths, an' every WAAAAGH needs really big killy tings. Snakebites wear brown, like a buncha zoggin' Amish folk.
* Da '''Bad Moonz''', what gotz lotsa teef 'cause dey grow faster den any other orks, so dey'z a buncha rich gits. 'at meanz dat dey's got da best squigs and dakka, but since dey'z such lazy gits, dey's [[Tau|no good at choppin' an' stompin']], so other orks can always just find a Bad Moon and stomp his teef out. Bad Moonz wear Yella, da color a big booms and shiny bits.
* '''Goffs''' are a buncha gloomy gits what don't ever have any fun and don't give a grot's toss about dakka, but dey'z somma da 'ardest of all da orks. [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]] himself wuz a Goff. Dats why he's so big, 'ard, an mean. Goffs wear black, da color a bein' DED 'ARD!
* Da '''Evil Sunz''''re all part a da Kult a Speed, and dey've got da most Meks, so dey're always muckin' about with teknowlogical equipment an speedy karts. Deyz big believas in da color red, cuz RED 'UNZ GO FASTA!
* '''Deffskullz''' are a buncha teevin', lootin' gits what'll grab anyfing <del>what's not nailed</del> if it's nailed down they'll loot the nails den loot da fing that was nailed down an' make it orky. [[Looted|Anyfing]]. Even in da middle of a scrap. Da mekz loves em, though, cuz nobody'z got more bitz and gubbinz than a Deffskull Loota. Deffskullz all seemz ta have some kinda technikal know-wotz, dough. Deffskullz wear da color Blue, cuz Blue's a lucky color.
* And, last of all but not least, dere's da '''Blud Axez'''. Dey're da ones what've been hangin' around da stinkin' humies fer ages too long, and gone and developed all sorts a un-orky tings like ''taktiks'' an' ''recownasense'' an' ''camo'flage'' an worse of all da magikal and feared cry of ''retreat''. Dey've even got a sayin' bout it: ''"If we runs for it, it don't count as losing, cuz we can also come back for anuvver go, see?"'' Dey'z mocked as cowardly gits by most of da boyz, but cause dey be dead cunning dey'z da main source of da best warbosses in WAAAAAAAGH! time (Next ta Da Prophet him self). An' its '''alwayz''' WAAAAAAAGH! time, ya git! Blud Axez wear cammerflage, but at least they paint it nice an' bright so's you can see'em coming.

Later, when da humies learned dat der was six Beasts, and each lead a lejun o Boyz, dey started tinking dat each o da Clanz were da rem-re-leftovers o each Beast's lejun.</ul>

===Ork Non-Klanz===
<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Den dere's da '''[[Freebooterz|Freebootaz]]''', boyz wut left deir klan ta become merks an' piratz an' dat, Freebooterz iz often kicked o' deir klan for likin' sumtin' dat izn't violence more dan violence, like [[Kaptin Badrukk]] (teef), [[Wazdakka Gutsmek]] (goin' fast), or [[Zodgrod Wortsnagga]] (snotlings), but some leave o' deir own accord for similar reasons, like [[Kaptin Bluddflagg]] (loot). Freebootaz will even work for stupid 'umies for shinies (or hats), though dat don't mean dey won't turn 'round an 'ave a go at dem too.
* '''Feral Orkz''' are like Snakebites, but coz dey don't have a choice, what with not 'avin' access to Ork kulture seein' 'az dey don't have space travel. Often join the Snakebites as soon as dey'z recruited by a WAAAAAAGH.
* '''Speed Freekz''' is what you call da members o' da '''Kult o' Speed''', a klub any Ork what likes goin' fast a lot can join, not just da Evil Sunz.
</ul>

==Ork Daily Life==

[[File:Wh40k online concept.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Your average Ork home. Quite cozy when it comes down to it, really.]]

Morning.
GET UP! Doesn't matter when . But usually in the mid morning, -unless a nob kicks him in the face cause he is late for something, which he usually is. Next eat. Either the breakfast his pet grot brings him or the grot it self. Orks dont much care it all tastes the same dipped in mud and fried on a stick chased with some fungus beer.
Hit the drops. Yes the communal act of using the local bog. Literally. He might get a scar on his duff to show off if the Squigs are feisty that morning. Then swagger about and try to find new things to kill. Or new ways to kill things. This lasts till about noon.

Noon
LUNCH! Fungus rums and beers. Squig pies and mushroom fries. Plenty of fights break out at lunch usually from a loota stealing another Orks 'sweet-squig' dessert. Or some nob mouths off when drunk. Either way LUNCH! Next nap time/ wrekreation. Most Orks, having spent a very busy day trying to think up new ways to kill or new things to kill, will take a nap. Usually the average rank and file lad who has nothing better to do. It is around now that the more specialized Orkoids shall gather in their respective mobs and set about spending afternoon and early evening doing what they do best. Be it practicing blowing crap up if tankbustaz. Racing around the camp as speed freaks. Helping the meks if lootas or burnas. <strike>Hiding in plain sight if kommand-</strike> Move along, nofink to see 'ere.

Evening
WORK TIME! The boss or local big mek or Warp'ead bullies most every one around the camp center and gets up on his WAAAGH!!! Banner-tower and starts to bark out orders on what they will attack that night, or where they will hit to steal material to build his next projekt, or give a flashy psycho-pyrotectic light show during a prophetic chant. (though sometimes if no one got up till half past 5 they plan it during the early morning.) Depending on the Clan majority this can be as simple as "Smash dis!" (A goff) to "Ok Dis team needs ta be 'ere right when da rockets hit Or we wont-" <strike>(Yeah Blood axes dont know when to shut up) </strike> '''*THUMP*''' ZOGGIN' 'Umiez.

Midnight
DA ORKING HOUR! Do what was stated in the evening until they get tired and go home to bed. It don't count as failing cause they will try again tomorrow. Or pull it off and party all night (to the dismay of the defeated) until they pass out.

Even the Daily Life of the Ork is a miniature WAAAGH!!!

==Reasons it Rokks to be an Ork==
# We'z gotz a shiney new 7th ork-dition Codex-fingy!
# We'z da biggest an' da strongest.
# We'z made fer fightin' an' winnin'.
# We'z got more boyz dan anyone else.
# All an ork eva wantz to do fo'eva iz to keep fightin', winnin', an' lootin'.
# Dem mekboyz can loot anyfing an I mean [[Looted_Emperor|ANYFING]]!!
++''{{BLAM| Previous record has been made of note to Ordo Xenos for immediate actions to be taken. The Emperor Protects}}''++

Ummm, wot woz dat? Zog, I've lost count of da resuns for being an Ork!
# We'z already know everythin' wotz wort' learnin'.
# We'z da 2nd least [[grimdark]] race in da galaxy. BUT DA BEZT GREENDARK hur hur hur!
# Da painboyz can fix ya up right'n proppa, even if yer bloody 'ead'z chopped off.
# We'z got da shiniest bitz, or we'z 'bout to krump da git dat does.
# The longa ya fite, the bigga and stronga ya get.
# Teef's legal tenda. Punchin' sum git in da face getz youz a day'z meal.
# If da mekboy can finks it, he can build it.
# An' if he sayz it workz, he's roight.
# We'z da orkz an' dey iz not.
# Dem 'umiez and marine boyz screamin' "FER DA EMPRER", an dem spikey boys yellin' "BLOOD FO' DA BLOOD GOD!" is nofin' kompared to "WAAAAAAAAAGH!"
# Da red wunz will '''alwayz''' go fasta.
# Purple iz da sneekiest colah.
# Yello' iz da 'splodiest colah.
# Blu iz da lukiest colah.
# Green iz da orkiest colah.
# I haz a hole in me chest an' a choppa stuck to me leg? Didn' notice it while I wuz krumpin dem spiky boyz.
# Unlike dem 'umiez, greyskins, an' panzees, anyone can be a warboss usin' nofin' more den a choppa an' a litl bit o' dakka.
# Even if all da boyz get krump'd, we'z still win. Da only way da gits can zog us off is by [[Exterminatus|dakkain' da 'ole bludy planet]].
# You'z can trade in yer dakka fer moah choppa, or vice versah, and you iz still Orky enuff.
# You'z kan build an army of serial [[METAL BOXES|bawkses]] an' duk' tape an' maybe a bit o' spikez an' bitz and still look reel smart an' orky.
# Rolling a double six with Shokk Attack Gun.
# Some Git shootz 90% of Your squad, but the Nob smackz one boy on the 'ead and everybody iz doing good.
# You'z kan talk legally like a retard.
# Giving da boyz a frying pan on the 'ead and a fender on the shoulda makes dem 'arder.
# Putting dem in a fridge makez dem mega'ard.
# You'z kan use every armiez gunz, but none kan use Yourz.
# If you die you get proppa afterlife wiz lotta fighnin' an' booze, instead of being raped by laffin' daemons for eternity.
# You WILL die of laffin' if You play orkz.
# Eiff Edishun iz da horde edishun! We'z can field more boyz dan dem 'humies or bug fingies!
# Lastly, an' most importantly, da mane reezun it rokkz ta be an Ork iz dis:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


==Reasons it sucks to be an Ork==
# You're the one species that is actually dumber than humanity. <strike>{{BLAM|HERESY!}}</strike> *THUMP* LOK BOSS I GOT MEH WUN UH DEM UMIES!!!!
# Your war cry "WAAAGH!" is overused by everyone. LIEK IF "FOR DA EMPRAH!!!" IZN'T OVERUZZED AZ 'ELL
# No matter how hard you try, you will never achieve enough dakka... and if you did, it'd end up destroying you too. A TRAGGADY, DAT IS!
# Despite having some awesome-looking guns, you can't shoot things for shit. Your standard Ballistic Skill is 2 (which means at best hitting things on a 5+), and when you ''do'' shoot somebody successfully it's probably due to sheer volume of bullets more than anything else. YOU SAY DAT LOIKE IT'S A FUKKEN BAD THING! 
# Your sole purpose in stories is to distract the Space Marines and the Imperial Guard from more dangerous threats like Chaos, Tyranids or Necrons. BUT WE'Z GET TA HAVE A REAL GREAT FIGHT WHILEZ BEIN' A DISTRAKSHUN. SO IT'Z STILL ALL GOOD. ALSO HAV YOU EVEN READ DA BEAST ARISES WE ZOG DEM HUMMIES UP. 
# Your army falls apart at the seams the minute your Warboss dies. NAH, WE'S JUST GOT TA FIGURA' OUT WHUZ IN CHARGE NEXT, DAN WE COMES BACK AROUND TA FUMP EM AGAIN! <strike> Hiss! By that time we've NOMNOMNOMNOM'D on you </strike> '''*CRUNCH*''' ANUDDA 'EAD FER ME POINTY STIKK!
# Anytime you use anything, from your smallest pistol to your [[Battlefleet Gothic|largest space ship]], you have the same chances of surviving its use as a grot snuggling an overcharged standard issue Imperial [[Plasma Weapons|Plasma Gun]]. Offset by the fact you can survive 4th degree burns, decapitation, being septic, and acquiring space tetanus. OY, DOK. WUTZ DIS TETANATHINGY? CAN WE'Z SQUISH ET?
# In Second Ed there was an alarming risk that your entire army might die before the battle actually started because almost no Ork units had sealed armour. ORKZ DUN' NEED ARMER! NOT WEN ORKZ GOT DAKKA!! SMASH DEM GITS WITOUT'IT!
# You have a mushroom and two spore pods dangling between your legs, and Kroot find it a delicacy. <strike> GOOD MEAT BAKKAWW! </strike> *THUMP* I DUNNO WUT DIS DUN SAID BUT IT URT ME EYES SO I KRUMPED IT!!!!
# You're part of [[Squad broken]]. WELL, UH... ZOGGIT. WE GOT NUFFIN CLEVA TA SAY BOUT DAT. MAYBE SUMFING ABOUT IT BEING MADE BY DEM NECKBEARDED GROTZ WIV DA FEDORAZ AN STUFF
# <strike>You haven't had a new codex since 4th edition. And it's starting to show.</strike> SHUT IT YA GIT, WE'ZE DA ORKS AND YOU'Z A BUNCH O PANSY GITS! B'SIDES, WE IZ GOING TA GET NEW CODEX DIS 6TH ED! OI BOSS WEZ GOT A SEVENF EDISHUN CODEX BEFORE THE PANSY GITS DID! N NOW WE'Z GOTZ A SHINEY NEW 7 ORK-DITION CODEX-FINGY! 
# <strike>There is a slight chance that [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is going to write 6th edition codex. If so, in the next codex you'll read something like this: "The Orks insatiable thirst for violence is, really, just a way of coping with the angst they feel that no matter what they do, they will never be Ultramarines."</strike> WHO KEEPS LETTIN' DEZ' HUMIES IN 'ERE! WE'Z BLOODY INFESTED! GET DA BURNAZ! <strike>(Also [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is apparently too busy with pestering Forge world for more Space marine resin collections to be converted into plastic for the main product line to be bothered with our humble bumbling green skins.)</strike> Tipakill 'umie bee'ayevyohr dat iz. Alwayz ignorin' da orky fingz in loif an' only payin' attentchuhn to zoggin' 'umie fingz. Downroight shaymfol dat iz. Da onlee REEL orky 'umie dere iz iz dat Kaptuhn Yarik; Gork - or eh, iz it Mork? - bless 'iz 'eart. (Trust us greenskin, Matt Ward ignoring you is a good thing.) But waznt 'e fired fur being an annoying grot? I GOT DA BURNAZ!! WE HAVIN A BBQ?? MAKE MINE CRISPY AN DUN FORGET DA EXTRA SQUIG SAUCE
# Orks do not draw psychic power from the [[Warp]], [[Derp|but still take Perils of the Warp]]. DEM WEIRDBOY GITZ JUST ORK'D TOO 'ARD!
# <strike>if dere ain't any Stormboyz, yer army k'n get krumped by da Blu Gitz real easy like. No not [[Ultramarines|DEM]] blue gits The [[Tau|udda ones]] wif da nice dakka and puny stompas.</strike>'''*CRUNCH*''' OI! WHO LET DA GROT DO DA TALKIN?! WE JUS' SMASH DEM BLUEBOYZ WIT 'ARE CHOPPAS WHEN WE GET CLOSE, AN' IF DAT DON'T WORK WE JUST MATCH DERE AMOUNT OF DAKKA WIT SOME PRETTY KILLY SHOOTAS. UNLESS DEY SEND DA RED COMMIT THO... GOOD FING DEY GOT RID OF HIM!
# Even doh dere is [[Yarrick|wun humie]] dat foights good and ard and iz real ded killy, ee iz da greatest enemy ov da Orkz. *THUNK* DA GREATEST ENNEMY OF DA ORKS IZ DA RED COMMIT! DAT BLUE BOY'S STOMPA IS FREE TIMES FASTA DAN A REGULAR WUN!
# <strike>You probably dont have a penis. You can piss on Space Marines, only to die a short while later.</strike> IZ DAT BAD FING? OOMIEZ SAYZ DAT IT VERY HURTZ WHEN WE 'IT EM IN IT? Wait... Dat what dey call the mushroom'n'spore pods? Poor suckas! Dey have PAIN nerves down dat way? No WONDER dey scream so bad when we kick em there. 
#<strike>Even (some) vegetarians will eat you</strike> NOT IF WE EAT DEM FIRST! HAH! 
# You all piss yourselves at the very mention of the name of a certain [[Farsight|Red Armored Swordsman]]. WE'Z JUST BE SO EXCITED CAUSE DAT BLUE-BOY ACTUALLY PUTS UP A FIGHT! More so than the Orks did against an old Ethereal with a pointed stick! *KRUMP* SHUT IT YA GREAT LANKY BLUE GROT 

== See Also ==
* [[Grot]]
* [[Snotling]]
* [[The Beast]]
* [[The War of The Beast]]
* [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]]
* [[Gorgutz_%27Ead_%27Unter|Warboss Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter]]
* [[Deffboss]]
* [[WAAAGH]]
* [["Da Tragedy of Hamlet, boss of Denmark" by Shake-da-boss-pole]]
* [[Makbeff]]
* [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Orks(7E)|Tactics/Orks]]
* [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Orks/Dred_List|Dreadnought List]]
* [[Codex Orks: Space Odin Edition]]
* [[Ork Gunz]]
* [[Gargant]]
* [[Stompa]]
* [[Deff Skwadron]]
* [[Scraplootas]]
* [[Da Chopshop]]
* [[Ork Trek]]
* [[Ironjawz]] for one of their Age of Sigmar counterparts.
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whxcq4I0kAo Da Ork Song]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXCLtD5batc Dem Ork Boyz Song]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Ork flowchart.png|WAAAAGH flowchart
Image:WAAAAGH.jpg|WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Image:Ork_WTF_is_this.jpg|WOT'Z DAT
Image:Orks_are_made_4_rokkin.jpg|ORKZ IZ DA ROKKINEST
Image:WOT_DA_ZOG.jpg|DA PAINBOSS IZ GONNA WANT TA LOOK AT DIS WOTEVA IT IS
Image:Disguise_1.jpg|Orks are the best at disguises
Image:Disguise_2.jpg|Stoopid [[beakie|beakies]]
Image:Disguise_3.jpg|Weeabork
Image:Orktaku.jpg|A different sort of Weeabork
Image:Samurork4.jpg|The truest of Weeaborks
Image:Da_warboss_Lincoln.jpg|The assassination of warboss Lincoln.
Image:GorknMork.jpg|Gork and Mork
Image:Ork_Fortress.jpg|WE'Z AMUZED BY ENTIRE PUNY 'UMIE IMPERIUM
Image:Pimp_Ork_1.jpg|PompadOrk
Image:Pimp_Ork_2.jpg|EY YOU GITZ WE 'EARD YOU LIKE TA MAKE IT ORKY SO WE ORKYFIED YER ORKY SQUIGOFF SO YOU'Z CAN WAAAGH WHILE YOO'Z WAAAGHIN'
Image:Killskata.jpg|Jet Grind RadiOrk
Image:Gorkken_Morkann_by_Jaekyu.jpg|'OO DA 'ELL DO YA FINK WE IS?!!!
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz_2.jpg|IT'Z TIME FER SUM IKSPERIMINTS
Image:Ork_teaparty.jpg|No reason we can't be civil
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz.jpg|SIANTZ. It works.
Image:Oldboyz.jpg|Oldboyz can Waaagh! too. They just need a nap afterwords.
Image:Orkpoke.jpg|SlowpOrk
Image:Ork_Anatomy.jpg|Inaccurate (but in-universe) depiction of orky gubbinz.
Image:Orkspekta_gubbinz.jpg|Orkspekta Gubbinz iz on da case!
Image:Orkishbeprepared.jpg|<strike>Jeremy Irons is orky, right?</strike> COURZE 'E IZ! E'Z ZO ORKY YOU'Z CAN'T LISTEN TA DA ORIGINAL SONG WIWOUT 'EARING DIS!
Image:Green.jpg|Supagreen
Image:1229746903774.jpg|[[Deff Skwadron]]. Zoggin' bootiful.
Image:Proud'n'Bootiful.jpg
Image:1239594444871.jpg|Transform and WAAAGH! (Holyshit this thing actually transforms.)
Image:1258887158852.jpg| Essentially....this is the best thing ever.
Image:mythbusta.jpg
Image:Ork_love_potion.jpg|Love Can WAAAGH!
Image:Ork with Lego shootah.jpg
Image:Squig_drops.jpg
Image:Eldars_are_orky.jpg|[[Eldar]]z iz da most orky race evar, ya gitz!
Image:Ork Powuz.png|An alternate explanation of how a WAAAGH works.
File:Mork and gork orks warhammer 40k 1334752549083.jpg|Brutally cunning or cunningly brutal?
File:CoDorks.jpg|Only Orks are capable of making something utterly godawful into something completely Orky.
File:SmurfOrks.jpg|Orks, mastaz uf stelff'en
File:Bork_Kube.jpg|A viable Ork space ship design
</gallery></center>

{{Template:Orks-Forces}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}

[[category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Orks]]
[[Category: Xenos]]

Ork

2017-10-03T03:21:42Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Kommandos */

{{awesome}}
'''''"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"''''' 
:-Da Orks, all da zoggin' time.
[[File:Orks attack3.jpg|600px|thumb|right|'Ere we zoggin' go, let's break sum' 'eads!]]
{{Topquote|War means fighting, and fighting means killing.|Nathan Bedford Forrest}}
{{Topquote|War is the business of barbarians.|Napoleon Bonaparte}}

The '''Orks''' are a race in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Commonly known as "Greenskins" or "the Green Tide", they're probably the most numerous and infestive race in the entire 40K setting, or at least on par with the [[Tyranids]]. They have a ''[[Warhammer Fantasy]]'' equivalent, the only major differences being that fantasy Orks are now called Orruks, and they have a (slightly) lower level of technology relative to the setting.

==Overview==
[[File:Ork_Boy.jpg|200px|thumb|left|[[Ork_Boy|The original Boy]]. This guy has been around since 2nd ed.]]
Orks are the most successful race of the [[Warhammer 40,000 | 41st millennium]]. Despite their entire lack of structured education or training, they seem to be very proficient with all kinds of technology, which they inevitably utilize for their armaments (of which firearms and vehicles are the most common). This is explained away in the fluff by their origins: they were created by the [[Old Ones#Warhammer 40,000|Old Ones]] to be a warrior race called the ''Krork,'' and some of them (the Mekboyz) were genetically hard-wired to have a pre-programmed proficiency for technological engineering. Unfortunately, the Old Ones died before they could finish their little science project; specifically the psychic control mechanism. The ancient Krork were known to have fought the ancient Eldar empire when the latter was at the peak of its power and were implied to have been a considerable threat (a Harlequin in M32 compares the nearly invincible hordes of the Beast as being like children compared to them).
This means that such war machines simply fight everything, everywhere, all the time. In principle, Orks can loot just about anything: the minor greenskins, such as "Grotz" ([[goblin]]s) can construct several working vehicles and machines out of mere scrap (They actually can't but orks believe they can so it happens see: a few paragraphs below).

The Orks derive much of their success from their reproductive process: Orks are, essentially, a psychosensitive hybrid of animal and fungi, not unlike a very complex version of a lichen. One advantage is a redundancy of vital organs, making them able to easily survive events such as head transplants and the fact that it's not easy to kill an individual Ork since they could very well survive injuries that would put a human to a crippled state. In fact there is a [[Valhalla|Valhallan]] folktale about a relative finding an Ork, [[Carnifex#Old_One_Eye|thawing it out only for it to attempt to kill them]]. Another advantage is their ability to grow larger as they win more battles (due to the aforementioned psychosensitivity): an Ork who is winning a fight is enjoying himself, which causes fluctuations in the gestalt field that all Orks generate. These fluctuations supercharge the Ork's physiology, causing the Ork to gain muscle mass and evolve. Consequently, if an Ork should somehow be incapable of fighting (like being imprisoned); they will actually ''devolve'' instead, causing the Ork to become pudgy and lethargic. This was observed during [[Xenology]] where a captive Ork was eventually found morbidly obese when the Inquisitor brought him out for dissection. Hence,the saying: "Orkz iz made fer fighten' and winnin'" applies literally in their case, as the incentives of fighten' and winnin' are what makes or breaks an Ork.

In addition, the fungal part of their physiology allows Orks to reproduce asexually en masse through underground fungal colonies that act as self-sustaining ecosystems. Reproductive spores enter the topsoil, produce fungal mycelia that assimilate base nutrients and could exchange genetic information with other mycelia, putting normal Human sexual reproduction to shame, and eventually produce lesser Orkoids: squigs and Grotz. The Grotz cultivate the protein-rich squigs in preparation for the emergence of the greater Orks, which take longer to develop. All in all, this cycle was designed to fight against the Necrons, which sterilized a planet to its bacteria. Orks can terraform a barren planet into a veritable paradise this way, though what defines "paradise" is a point of discussion; if you like endless wars and tribal conflicts in a mushroom rich planet, it probably is.

Though all Orks discharge reproductive spores throughout their lives, the most significant and numerous emissions occur when an Ork ''is dismembered or dies.'' This means that, for Orks, combat and death are their principal means of reproduction and genetic exchange, and a Space Marine/Guardsman chainsawing/shooting/artillery-bombarding an ork just results in ten thousands, if not millions, of Orks coming for ya, kinda like [[tyranids]]. Nice Job chainsawing it, Space Marine. Due to this, an Ork infestation is incredibly hard to handle if kept unchecked since it won't take them long to get enough boyz to launch a full-scale WAAAGH! to overrun an entire planet and necessitate [[Exterminatus]]. We can use flamethrowers, [[Plasma]], nukes, [[melta]] weapons or anything high-energy to eradicate any spores and fungi, saving the world from the eventual Exterminatus, but then again, efficiency ain't manly n' [[grimdark]] enough compared to good ol' spore-releasing bolters, chainswords and artillery.

Orks only have two popular combat doctrines: [[Choppa|choppy]], which involves giving your opponents a good stomping up close, and [[dakka|shooty]] which involves spitting out as many bullets as possible with an assortment of shootas, and the faster it shoots; the better. That said, a good shoota should also still be able to kill enemies ''while'' putting out a lot of dakka, otherwise it wouldn't be killy (and woe betide an Ork who isn't killy). Because of the Ork's naturally low penchant for accuracy; they typically get around this problem in two methods: the first one is to have a gun that simply shoots bullets as fast as Orkily possible that the wielder ''should'' be able to hit something eventually (strapping two or more shootas together is a crude but effective way to go about this). The second one is to make the gun really killy every time it shoots, like putting a dangerously high-explosive shell in a kannon that can obliterate an entire building in one shot.

Orks are commonly believed to be stupid and superstitious by the other races of the 40k world, but they can also be cunning and quick on the draw. Orks are always ready for a fight and while you can trick them, they quite like the idea of tricking people back.

Their philosophy of DA RED WUNZ GO FASTA is the ultimate truth: because of the aforementioned gestalt field, Ork vehicles painted red will, ultimately, go faster than Ork vehicles that are ''not'' painted red because the Orks believe that Red makes everything go faster:
DIS 'UMIE GIT THINKZ DAT DA RED WUNZ DON'T GO FASTA? DEY DON'T KNOW DAT ANYFING PAINTED RED MAKES IT DA BEST AN' MAKES IT GO FASTAAAA COZ RED IZ BEST! '''*WHAM!*''' NO IT AIN'T, YA BLEEDIN' SQUIG, '''GREEN''' IZ BEST! '''*Boots up the bog*''' SHUT YER GOB, 'E WAS TALKIN' 'BOUT DA TRUKKS, YA GIT!

We can assume that this cuts both ways, with enemies such as the Blood Angels and White Scars gaining the same boost due to their use of red paint.

A hallmark of Orkoid, for lack of a better term, civilization is the WAAAGH!. Pronounced similar to "war" as the "GH" is silent. Always written in all-caps, with at least three "A"s and an exclamation point, the WAAAGH! occurs when an Ork population reaches critical mass and a dominant Warboss appears. A Warboss is an Ork Alpha who is bigger than all the other Orks and have proven his right to lead by either his sheer size or krumpin' all the other big Orks that thinks otherwise. Lesser Orks sense the presence of the Boss in the Orks' psychic field and follow him on what is often described as a combination of pub riot and holy war with a dash of genocide. The WAAAGH! accomplishes two things: it weeds out weaker Orks, keeping the species strong; and it facilitates genetic exchange and reproduction as the Orks die and release spores.

The Ork economy is based on teef, more information on which [[toof|can be found here]].

Ork religious beliefs also help manage their population. Orks believe in two gods, [[Gork]] and [[Mork]]. One is the god of cunning brutality and the other is the god of brutal cunning, the difference being that one hits you when you aren't looking and the other hits you harder when you are. Unfortunately, no one can decide which god is which, nor can the Orks decide which is better: cunning brutality or brutal cunning. These differences of opinion tend to lead to Gigantic Brawls, yet another method of keeping the Ork race strong, warlike and in check. Their division also keeps them perpetually divided, for it has been theorized that if the Orks were to ever unite in one big WAAAGH!, their gestalt reality-warping field might just as well turn omnipotent and crush all opposition

Ork society is effectively the perfect society. Its society is a Kratocracy (A Government ruled by the strongest, fitting for Orks) in maturity as all disputes are settled fairly quickly and painfully (just the way they like it). The economy is steady, as teef grow and rot at a reliable rate. Once a Boss is in charge, mostly everyone falls into place, and the Orks go and [[/tg/ Gets Shit Done|get shit done]].

Also, they probably killed the Imperial Fists. All of them.

Fun fact: The orks use black and white on their shock troops, because it reminds them of the Luna Wolves who destroyed them at Ullanor. The orks do not fear death, but they do fear the Luna Wolves. That is right, Horus traumatized them as a race more than the fucking grim reaper. Note: Why would you fear death, if death usually results in you being reborn into several thousands of yourself? Horus probably swept the spores up post battle and that's why they fear him. Though it's also worth mentioning that Orks harbor a natural fear of Commander Farsight too, whom they know as "Da Red Commit". Though given that the Dawn Blade consumes the souls of those it kills, it's likely that any Orks cut down by Farsight do not reproduce. But then again he was committing Ork genocide long before he found the blade so...

==Ork Teknology==

[[File:Dat zoggin bigmek by majesticchicken.jpg|220px|thumb|left|A perfect example of Ork tech. Powered by make-believe and the essence of love, and patched together with duct tape and chewing gum, the emperor himself has truly never seen finer craftsmanship or innovation.]]

Ork technology works mainly because the Orks think it does. The official explanation is that the subconscious gestalt psychic field that all Orks generate enables their technology to function; the stronger the field, the more unlikely their technological achievements become. In older versions of the fluff, if you hand an Ork a pipe and convince him it's a gun, it WILL shoot bullets. They're like reality-warping Physical "Gods", only weakened by their stupidity and their preference to fight each other instead of uniting, hence why the Imperium still manages to survive in these dark times. In later versions, this has been toned down from "impossible" to merely "unlikely" because GW won't keep anything canon that's that [[derp|badass]]. If Ork technology is held together by spit, duct tape, and hope, then the Orks' psychic field provides the hope.

For example: a Wartrukk with a mob of Orks in it sputters and dies. Da boyz hop out and have a look.
One of da boyz examines the readouts and says to the Nob driver, "Da bloody fing is outta gas!"
Said Nob hits the offending Ork in the face so hard that he falls unconscious. "Look 'ere, I'z da boss, and I sez I filled this fing up righ' before we left!"
The rest of da boyz look at each other, halfway convinced. He ''is'' the biggest Ork among them, and he ''did'' just prove it. Maybe he ''did'' fill it up right before they left. That's the sort of thing one does when one's in charge. Da boyz begin to file back into the Wartrukk, and with a satisfied nod, the Nob gets in and cranks her up. Because da boyz believe that there is plenty of fuel in the truck, one drop does for ten, and the Wartrukk and da boyz arrive just in time for the next fight.

The purpose for this sort of thing is primarily to compensate for the Orks' technological disadvantage by comparison with races like the [[Tau]], [[Necron]]s, or the [[Eldar]]. For example, a meat cleaver in the hands of an Ork can tear through the toughest ceramite armor if the Ork believes it will; for anyone BUT an Ork, a power weapon or the equivalent would be required to do so. This tends to work well for them, but not for the other races of the galaxy: Imperial observers note that Ork weapons generally will not function in the hands of a non-Ork. The only reason the Orks haven't exploited the limits of their generated gestalt field by creating easily made but devastatingly powerful weaponry that could eclipse the weapons of the other races is that they themselves do not know nor understand that they create said field, they believe that their equipment works because that's how the universe wants it to work, not because they themselves are making it work. Which I guess makes it true. This, in turn, makes for an interesting paradox: If orks managed to understand the physical universe as it is, they would not believe their "weapons" work, thus, stripping them of their psychic advantage. If there is a little ounce of disbelief, this would wreck their ability to... believe hard enough so as to manipulate reality.

This said, Orky know-wots DO have a say in stuff that the Orks build. Mekboyz build much of the stuff they do because they have been genetically ingrained with the knowledge on how to make and maintain their technology. While much of their tech runs because they want to, the basis is that the Orks ''can'' actually build a conceptually working frame to get all Orky on. This explains how Orks can build such technological wonders as the Shokk Attack Gun, which propels [[Snotling|Snotlings]] through the Warp and into the armor, tanks, [[Rape|and bodies]] of their enemies. Also, there ''have'' been instances of Ork tech working well in the hands of other races,( at least for a time till it blows up). Be careful though, most Ork players have ''very'' deep-set opinions on how Orky tech works, and [[skub|debates]] between them can generate much [[RAGE]].

Occasionally, if a "tech-caste" gets into control of an Ork society, ridiculous constructions can result. Best example we know about is the Telon Reach Empire and its central stronghold Gorro. A "scrapworld", Gorro was full of things that shouldn't have worked at all (Horus notes that individual bits of architecture inside were just too mad for any human to contemplate) and could withstand the normally planet-killing weapons on the Vengeful Spirit and Emperor's own flagship. The Orks defending it were far more advanced than most (everything from their augmententations to the accuracy of their ships' weapons) and had actually built a plasma reactor to hold their world together. Their function mostly relied on the Orks' gestalt, as the core began to fail as the Emperor, Horus and their respective posses carved through the population. Once the Emperor killed the resident Warboss and psychically burned the rest of the Orks (a preview of what he'd eventually do to Horus) the system went into total meltdown.

===Special Note on Orky Vehicles===
To properly describe what Ork vehicles are like is a difficult prospect, or perhaps an overlooked opportunity. Either way, few actually attempt to clarify in tangible terms what orkish vehicle-makers create.

Let's start with the venerable Trukk. Keep in mind that the standard Ork Boy is a hunched, monstrous, 7-foot-tall Hulk Hogan. Now, the Trukk is essentially an over-sized, skeletal pickup truck, with armored bus tires and a spiked ram-plate for a bumper. The frame is then covered in all manner of inch-thick armor plating, the basic standard in orkish vehicle armor. No Ork vehicle with more than two wheels has an engine smaller than a V8, and the trukk is no exception. A common brag for a trukk owner, "I'z put twelve silenderz in dis 'ere kart" (when not met with the classic "You shoulda sprung fer forteen!" comeback), is similar to a human saying he put an extra two cylinders in his car and overhauled his transmission.

Larger orkish vehicles, like the Big Trakk, often use V14 engines that any human would say belongs on a fishing trawler. Alternatively, some vehicles use turbine engines for extra torque (which is always a good thing) and a higher top speed (also a good thing), or crackling electrical engines (less popular than a good-old combustion engine, but can "accidentally" taze pesky Lootas or enemies who get too close (i.e. rammed)). Big Trakks are literally the size of a heavy tank, but are completely open-topped to provide a chassis for hauling Boyz or insanely big gunz into the fight. They have banks of fat-tired wheels or, most likely, four-plus-foot-wide treads. They have as much torque as a Battle Wagon and fear no infantry.

==Orks and the Emperor==

One theory of the [[Emperor|Emprahs]] continued existence (despite the fact his throne is in serious need of an MOT) is the fact that the Orks BELIEVE it to be so. As any self-respecting Weirdboy will tell you, what da boyz fink will 'appen (see below), so if they think the Emperor is still alive then alive he will be. Probably cos they're not stupid enough to realise he's a corpse more fucked than a Slaaneshi cultist at Ciaphas Cain's place.. 'ANG ON A SECOND.. I FINK DEY BE MAKIN FUN OF US...WELL.....MAYBE WE OUTTA GO STOMP SUM HUMIES! (thas rite, the "chaos boys" are messing with you orks, go stomp them in the name of the Emp... For the WAAAGGGHH!. aehm..)

==Special Groups of Orks==
Apart from the regular Boyz, there are several groups of Orks who specialize in a specific task or doctrine. Called Oddboys (if they are relatively normal when fighting time rolls around) or Wyrdboys (when they shoot lighting out of their eyes, gunz or eye-gunz). The most common ones are:

===[[Oddboys|Oddboyz]]===
This category is filled with Orks who express genetic predispositions to certain tasks. Here are your Mekboys (engineers), Painboys (doctors), Weirdboys (psykers), Madboyz (psychos), Slaverz (take care of grots, snotlings and slaves), [[Dorfs|Brewerz]] (makers of alcohol; retconned), [[Noise Marines|Rockaz]] (musicians; also retconned), and Shoutaz (communications experts).

====Kult of Speed====

[[File:Kult o speed by majesticchicken.jpg|250px|thumb|right|'''WAAAAAAAAGHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''']]

[[Speed freeks]] who commonly go into the battlefield on bikes hyped up on dakka and flashy bitz, as their name suggests, they'z like goin' faster dan fast. On tabletop, they're okay, since they're really shooty for Orks and fairly cheap. These guys field the classic Mobile Ork Army, which causes loads of [[Butthurt]] and [[Rage]] when people go up against them. Just look out for Lascannons.
*'''[[Deff Skwadron | Flyboys]]''' - Crazed pilots that like fast vehicles, death defying stunts, and lots of dakka. The better pilots, fighta aces, are held in great esteem only by other flyboys and tend to give themselves crazy-cool nicknames.

====[[Burna Boyz | Burna boyz]]====
Burna boyz are similar to standard orks in ability, possessing no unique qualities except every one of them being a pyromaniac. These boys are the type who would burn their own mother alive if she tried to stop them from playing with matches, even though Orks technically don't have moms. As such, they regularly burn their own comrades for the hell of it (to see them 'do da burny dance'). Their obsession with fire is of course, genetically coded, and this has a particular disadvantage during periods of time where stealth is of the essence. In fact, this pyromania coupled with the rate of accidental deaths among Orks may explain why Burna boyz aren't more common; after all, an Ork that accidentally burns himself to death wouldn't be able to spread his spores so easily. On a more lighthearted note, they are also quite fond of fungus cigars! GREEN IZ BEST

====[[Mekboy|Mekboys]]====
Meks are Orks who are capable of making the ramshackle yet effective weapons and vehicles the Orks use. They're primarily the ones who makes the warband's wagons, restore salvaged vehicles, and create/modify weapons. An Ork who lead bands of Mekboys is called a "Big Mek", and is a bitch to kill on tabletop if he's kitted out. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZQdaEFa_60 Five-up cover saves for everyone!] 'Ho says we aint smart 'n' such! Only fing betta den an ork is an ork wif a good bit of technorkology 

====[[Tankbustas]]====
Many Orks enjoy the odd explosion. These guys like that so much that they decided what better way to get their kicks than to get into a nice squad of 5-15 boys and try blowing tanks sky high with their rokkits. They also train Squigs to run into tanks while strapped to the hilt with explosives. And if neither of that works, run into close-combat and strike the tank with a rokkit attached to a metal stick. They get so high off this that they will enter the broken vehicle, eat any survivors, and drink the motor oil in a ritual act known as "GETTIN' TANKED!" 

====[[Lootas]]====
Lootas are Orks who are obsessed with pimping out their shootas by salvaging bitz from their enemies. Lootas are critically important to Orkish mechanical industry, because they head salvage operations and assist Meks where Grots can't. They're also the ones who loot wrecked tanks and vehicles after a battle to use as Looted Wagons, with the help of Mekboys, which means Orks can remobilize rapidly, and scale up to match tank-driving foes. <strike>When not fighting or looting, Lootaboyz are a menace to Orky society, stealing, swindling, making trouble, and being the reason other Boyz can't have nice things.</strike> WOT?! YIZ SAYIN' DERE'S TIME WHEN DA ORKZ AIN'T FOIGHTIN' OR LOOTIN'?! I OUTTA GIVE YA A STAMP!!!

====[[Flash Gitz]]====
<strike> DA PIMPIEST ORK IZ DA BESTEST ORK!!!!!!</strike> Dat is why dey arrogant Gits. They are another group of shoota-obsessed Orks known as "Flash Gitz"; rich, obnoxious Bad Moonz gits who buy powerful weapons and upgrades using their large stockpiles of [[toof|teef]]. They love nothing more than showing off their wealth and (supposedly associated) martial power. They do things like wearing ''FABOLOUS'' clothing, sporting huge banners declaring their awesomeness (shogun-style), and plating everything they have in gold, silver, platinum, or any other shiny metal they have at hand (although gold is preferred). Goldz iz da bestest. Flash Gitz boast the shootiest kustom shootaz in all of orkdom, sometimes known as "snazzgunz", which makes them an invaluable asset to their clan. Conversely, due to their boasting and attitude problems they often alienate pretty much every other Ork they work with, and are prone to getting their arrogant asses booted out of their group the moment they become less useful than annoying.

====[[Freebooterz]]====
Orks who raid and pillage the galaxy as MOTHERFUCKING PIRATES. And just to add to their awesomeness, they'll usually dress and/or speak like pirates. (W)AAARG! Well-known individuals include Kaptins Badrukk and Bludflagg.

====[[Ork Kommando|Kommandos]]====
Orks who managed to figure out that charging a gunline isn't always the best option, so dey'z da sneakiest of da Orks. They typically paint themselves purple, which Orks believe is the sneakiest color (and because Orks are Orks, purple does in fact make them harder to see ... don't ask how the fuck that one works, it just does Hav you eva seen a purpul ork? Course not, dey's too sneaky . Kommandos rely on stealth tactics rather than balls-out firepower, and achieve this by using crude camouflage techniques, Speshul Forces equipment such as NVGs, various types of grenades, and all those other gubbins that makes them all sneaky. The concept of Orks using tactics beyond drowning their enemies in corpses and bullets is so completely out there that a lot of Imperial commanders [[Skaven|do not believe that Kommandos actually exist]], but nobody laughed when a Kommando unit suddenly [[Blood Ravens|hi-jacked]] a unit of 3 [[Deathstrike Missile Launcher]]s inside a Mordian regiment's lines drove 1 to the front and proceeded to launch it at the their front lines, killing thousands, including a [[Baneblade]] (Except for the Orks, who laughed their faces off as this was happening). Meanwhile, the Kommandos ran off with the remaining one and 2 extra missiles.

Kommandos are typically distrusted by Orks due to their chosen battle strategy. They view as sneaking about rather than getting to a fight, right and proppa as "Muckin' about". The enjoyment of the color purple among them is also considered right strange. As there aint no such thing as a purple ork!

In practice, all of this boils down to a fairly simple difference in tactics. Whereas a normal Ork Boy will see the enemy and immediately [[WAAAGH|shout]], run up to him, and smash him in the head, a Kommando will see the enemy, hide behind a nearby [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|bush]]/[[Dorf|barrel]]/[[Creed|lamp-post]] and wait for the enemy to get close like 5 feet to 2 meters, THEN shout, run up to him, and smash him in the head.

An ork asked about Kommando groups. "I dinna see anyfing... Do you?"

====Feral Orks====
Hidden away in GW fluff are these guys. These guys are what happens after a WAAAGH! has left your planet. They crop up in wildernesses and form tribes. They don't have technology (like shootas) or any kind of mekboys or even good resources to build junk. They are roughly on par with your [[Warhammer Fantasy|Fantasy]] Orks, so you can just use your Fantasy army in 40k if you can fluff your army right. Not like it matters, it's the same tactic either game. They tend to have Grots, Kommandos and Weirdboys coming out of their ears, and love to ride big squigs. If you don't prune them back to the forest well enough, they might sic buttloads of squiggoths on you. Snakebites love these guys, and if space-born Orks pick them up, Feral Orks usually become Snakebites anyway.

They breed a special kind of Oddboy, the Pigdok, who is a combination of a Mek and a Dok, but excels at neither. They do surgical procedures like a stereotypical medicine man, wander around covered in robes and talismans given to them by the Weirdboy Shamans, and head the construction of things like ballistas and catapults, all the way up to magical stompy Idols and the [[Titans_40k#Orky_Titans|Steam Gargant]].

====[[Weirdboy | Weirdboyz]]====
Weirdboyz are Orks who are active psykers. All Orks are passive psykers, emitting their gestalt field, but Weirdboyz are the only ones who can decide they're gonna blow another Ork's face off with a mean look and a lightning bolt (well, the only Orks who can decide to do it and it'll happen). They tend to be crazy and can blow up if they're not careful. Even when they are careful. Sometimes blowing up is the preferred/expected option for a Weirdboy.

==Retcons==
All following Ork Oddboys have been retconned, at least by GW's word. They live on in our hearts (and custom-models) as:

===Rokkas===
[[Rogue Trader]] Orks with a penchant for hard rock, metal, leather armor, and overgrown hair squigs. While still technically retconned, they do seem to keep cropping up in the fluff. Also known as Goff Rokkas, these boyz tend to come out of the Goffs exclusively, but it isn't completely unknown for other Clans to spit out one of these crazy green "musicians". They play machine gun guitars and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_wdRy7x4Sc PARTY 'ARD!!!]
It should be noted that Rokkas were invented in the Eighties, so they don't play things like Death Metal as much as they do generic Metal, 80's Metal, electric guitar ballads, and Hard Rock. It should also be noted that they are still available on Games Workshop's site. PARTY ON!
===Shoutas===
These orks have over-developed lungs and super-strong vocal cords so that they can [[Derp|yell really loud.]] Yes, you heard me right. They yell across Gargant-tops and over battlefield din to act as a telecommunications array. <strike>See, not all things that were retconned were too good to last.</strike> '''SHUDDUP STOOPID HUMIE, WHUT DO YOU KNOW?!?!?! SHOUTAS IZ DA BEST!!!!!!!'''

'''YOU'Z CALL DAT SHOUTIN'? YOU'Z AIN'T A REEL SHOUTA, YA GIT!'''


'''A REAL SHOUTA'''

'''DROWNS OUT DA'''

'''COMPUTISHUN!'''

'''I Konkur!'''


'''I'z prefur sneekin' up to some hummie and shoutin' in iz ear from reel gut close.'''


Anyone caught messing with this section again will get their shit handed to them. Do you know how fucking hard it is to make sure this shit is right? I can't do this AND dodge those fucking Orks. I'm a janitor, not a FUCKING NINJA!

'''See, iffin' you'z had sum of dat purpley paint, dis wouldn' be a problem now, would it?'''

''' 'e got youz good, e' did. aneewayz da squigs ated da inturn again. Git ta cleenen dat wod ya.'''

===Brewerz===
Again, not technically retconned, but never mentioned after about 3rd Edition. Brewerz, or Brewer Boyz function much like Mekboys or Mad Doks do, knowing the inns and outs of brewing through genetically innherited inntuition. They make alcohol out of squigs. Made everything from beers to malts to meads to liquors to scotches. Yes, certain squigs can be made into scotch. No, no grains are involved in the process. No, they've never don this in Scotland. No, you may not question this.
SQUIGGIE WALKER - RED LABEL! COS IT ZOGZ YOU IN DA BRAIN FASTA!
''Eend out of mashrooms too booss!'' 
Basically, they brew babies into beer sometimes. 
 
<strike>'''HERESY, ORK HERESY, ANY IMPERIAL CITIZENS WILL BE MURDERED ON SIGHT AFTER READING THIS.'''</strike>''' *WHAM* OY BOSS, DEM HUMIES IZ TRYN'A TAKE AWAYZ OUR SQUIG JUICE!
'''

''' Zoggin DAMN'IT! NOT AGAIN!'''

===Female Orks===

MY EYES!!!! THEY BURN!!!

Vaguely referenced in older fluff and glimpsed during Blood Bowl, sacrificed because nobody wants to see those canonized saggy Ork tits (Except [[/d/]]), and fucking whores (and ye mum). Suffice to say, some drawfags will still draw them and several on [[/tg/]] will doubtlessly [[Faptau|fap]] to it. Considering how many random mutations are seen amongst the Orks, the possibility is [[Meme|more likely than you'd think]]. In normal canon, Orks are asexual, popping out of fungal growths in the ground...

...but in the older fluff, when the Orks were basically Fantasy Orcs in space, there ''were'' female orks. Later fluff [[retcon]]ned this, so that in later parts of their life cycle Orks would temporarily develop sexual characteristics and go bang one another. For the sake of Games Workshop's writers' self-respect, this too was also retconned. And all but the drawfags are happy for that. All in all though, the idea of female orks or goblinoids of any sort is much more readily accepted across most genres involving greenskins of any sort, so the decision may more likely have been to make the Orks dependent on getting blown up to repopulate along with being hardlined for blockbuster style war (though, as with all evolution, this is mutable to change, as there are Orks like the Blood Axes who understand ideas like trading with da' humies', peace, and using functional armor and weapons that don't stop working just because da' mob' believes dey are useless. SEE, HUMIES ARE GUD' F'R SOME FINGS BUT NOT EVERY FING!).

 Oi'm twalf an' wots dis? 

===Brain Boyz===
Brain Boyz is how the Orks call the Old Ones. The retcon is that the Orks' origin has shifted around a few times, such as the Brain Boyz being the ancestors of the Snotlings (although the Orks still believe that, but it's no longer the official explanation it was in Rogue Trader).

(Dat'z still canon! Codex 7th ED 2014 and we'z seen it in the one before dat un!!!! What shrooms did ya zoggin' gits eat?!)

==Ork Klanz==
Oi, listen up ya gits. Dere's six diverant majah clanz of Ork, and dey's all right 'ard. Da clanz waz made way back by [[The Beast|the biggest, baddest warboss dere eva waz]], startin' out as his specialist boyz before dey became dey own klanz.

<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Dere's da '''Snakebites''', and dey'z a buncha fundie gits what won't use any teknowlogy more complicated den a [[choppa]] an' warpaint. Anytime dere's a world dat a WAAAAAGH smashed up, it gets full o' fundie boyz. When we pick em up, dey run off ta da Snakebites anyway instead o' learnin how ta fight propa. But dey got squiggoths, an' every WAAAAGH needs really big killy tings. Snakebites wear brown, like a buncha zoggin' Amish folk.
* Da '''Bad Moonz''', what gotz lotsa teef 'cause dey grow faster den any other orks, so dey'z a buncha rich gits. 'at meanz dat dey's got da best squigs and dakka, but since dey'z such lazy gits, dey's [[Tau|no good at choppin' an' stompin']], so other orks can always just find a Bad Moon and stomp his teef out. Bad Moonz wear Yella, da color a big booms and shiny bits.
* '''Goffs''' are a buncha gloomy gits what don't ever have any fun and don't give a grot's toss about dakka, but dey'z somma da 'ardest of all da orks. [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]] himself wuz a Goff. Dats why he's so big, 'ard, an mean. Goffs wear black, da color a bein' DED 'ARD!
* Da '''Evil Sunz''''re all part a da Kult a Speed, and dey've got da most Meks, so dey're always muckin' about with teknowlogical equipment an speedy karts. Deyz big believas in da color red, cuz RED 'UNZ GO FASTA!
* '''Deffskullz''' are a buncha teevin', lootin' gits what'll grab anyfing <del>what's not nailed</del> if it's nailed down they'll loot the nails den loot da fing that was nailed down an' make it orky. [[Looted|Anyfing]]. Even in da middle of a scrap. Da mekz loves em, though, cuz nobody'z got more bitz and gubbinz than a Deffskull Loota. Deffskullz all seemz ta have some kinda technikal know-wotz, dough. Deffskullz wear da color Blue, cuz Blue's a lucky color.
* And, last of all but not least, dere's da '''Blud Axez'''. Dey're da ones what've been hangin' around da stinkin' humies fer ages too long, and gone and developed all sorts a un-orky tings like ''taktiks'' an' ''recownasense'' an' ''camo'flage'' an worse of all da magikal and feared cry of ''retreat''. Dey've even got a sayin' bout it: ''"If we runs for it, it don't count as losing, cuz we can also come back for anuvver go, see?"'' Dey'z mocked as cowardly gits by most of da boyz, but cause dey be dead cunning dey'z da main source of da best warbosses in WAAAAAAAGH! time (Next ta Da Prophet him self). An' its '''alwayz''' WAAAAAAAGH! time, ya git! Blud Axez wear cammerflage, but at least they paint it nice an' bright so's you can see'em coming.

Later, when da humies learned dat der was six Beasts, and each lead a lejun o Boyz, dey started tinking dat each o da Clanz were da rem-re-leftovers o each Beast's lejun.</ul>

===Ork Non-Klanz===
<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Den dere's da '''[[Freebooterz|Freebootaz]]''', boyz wut left deir klan ta become merks an' piratz an' dat, Freebooterz iz often kicked o' deir klan for likin' sumtin' dat izn't violence more dan violence, like [[Kaptin Badrukk]] (teef), [[Wazdakka Gutsmek]] (goin' fast), or [[Zodgrod Wortsnagga]] (snotlings), but some leave o' deir own accord for similar reasons, like [[Kaptin Bluddflagg]] (loot). Freebootaz will even work for stupid 'umies for shinies (or hats), though dat don't mean dey won't turn 'round an 'ave a go at dem too.
* '''Feral Orkz''' are like Snakebites, but coz dey don't have a choice, what with not 'avin' access to Ork kulture seein' 'az dey don't have space travel. Often join the Snakebites as soon as dey'z recruited by a WAAAAAAGH.
* '''Speed Freekz''' is what you call da members o' da '''Kult o' Speed''', a klub any Ork what likes goin' fast a lot can join, not just da Evil Sunz.
</ul>

==Ork Daily Life==

[[File:Wh40k online concept.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Your average Ork home. Quite cozy when it comes down to it, really.]]

Morning.
GET UP! Doesn't matter when . But usually in the mid morning, -unless a nob kicks him in the face cause he is late for something, which he usually is. Next eat. Either the breakfast his pet grot brings him or the grot it self. Orks dont much care it all tastes the same dipped in mud and fried on a stick chased with some fungus beer.
Hit the drops. Yes the communal act of using the local bog. Literally. He might get a scar on his duff to show off if the Squigs are feisty that morning. Then swagger about and try to find new things to kill. Or new ways to kill things. This lasts till about noon.

Noon
LUNCH! Fungus rums and beers. Squig pies and mushroom fries. Plenty of fights break out at lunch usually from a loota stealing another Orks 'sweet-squig' dessert. Or some nob mouths off when drunk. Either way LUNCH! Next nap time/ wrekreation. Most Orks having spent a very busy day trying to think up new ways to kill or new things to kill will take a nap. Usually the average rank and file lad who has nothing better to do. It is around now that the more specialized Orkoids shall gather in their respective mobs and set about spending afternoon and early evening doing what they do best. Be it practicing blowing crap up if tankbustaz. Racing around the camp as speed freaks. Helping the meks if lootas or burnas. <strike>Hiding in plain sight if kommand-</strike> Move along, nofink to see 'ere.

Evening
WORK TIME! The boss or local big mek or Warp'ead bullies most every one around the camp center and gets up on his WAAAGH!!! Banner-tower and starts to bark out orders on what they will attack that night, or where they will hit to steal material to build his next projekt, or give a flashy psycho-pyrotectic light show during a prophetic chant. (though sometimes if no one got up till half past 5 they plan it during the early morning.) Depending on the Clan majority this can be as simple as "Smash dis!" (A goff) to "Ok Dis team needs ta be 'ere right when da rockets hit Or we wont-" <strike>(Yeah Blood axes dont know when to shut up) </strike> '''*THUMP*''' ZOGGIN' 'Umiez.

Midnight
DA ORKING HOUR! Do what was stated in the evening until they get tired and go home to bed. It don't count as failing cause they will try again tomorrow. Or pull it off and party all night (to the dismay of the defeated) until they pass out.

Even the Daily Life of the Ork is a miniature WAAAGH!!!

==Reasons it Rokks to be an Ork==
# We'z gotz a shiney new 7th ork-dition Codex-fingy!
# We'z da biggest an' da strongest.
# We'z made fer fightin' an' winnin'.
# We'z got more boyz dan anyone else.
# All an ork eva wantz to do fo'eva iz to keep fightin', winnin', an' lootin'.
# Dem mekboyz can loot anyfing an I mean [[Looted_Emperor|ANYFING]]!!
++''{{BLAM| Previous record has been made of note to Ordo Xenos for immediate actions to be taken. The Emperor Protects}}''++

Ummm, wot woz dat? Zog, I've lost count of da resuns for being an Ork!
# We'z already know everythin' wotz wort' learnin'.
# We'z da 2nd least [[grimdark]] race in da galaxy. BUT DA BEZT GREENDARK hur hur hur!
# Da painboyz can fix ya up right'n proppa, even if yer bloody 'ead'z chopped off.
# We'z got da shiniest bitz, or we'z 'bout to krump da git dat does.
# The longa ya fite, the bigga and stronga ya get.
# Teef's legal tenda. Punchin' sum git in da face getz youz a day'z meal.
# If da mekboy can finks it, he can build it.
# An' if he sayz it workz, he's roight.
# We'z da orkz an' dey iz not.
# Dem 'umiez and marine boyz screamin' "FER DA EMPRER", an dem spikey boys yellin' "BLOOD FO' DA BLOOD GOD!" is nofin' kompared to "WAAAAAAAAAGH!"
# Da red wunz will '''alwayz''' go fasta.
# Purple iz da sneekiest colah.
# Yello' iz da 'splodiest colah.
# Blu iz da lukiest colah.
# Green iz da orkiest colah.
# I haz a hole in me chest an' a choppa stuck to me leg? Didn' notice it while I wuz krumpin dem spiky boyz.
# Unlike dem 'umiez, greyskins, an' panzees, anyone can be a warboss usin' nofin' more den a choppa an' a litl bit o' dakka.
# Even if all da boyz get krump'd, we'z still win. Da only way da gits can zog us off is by [[Exterminatus|dakkain' da 'ole bludy planet]].
# You'z can trade in yer dakka fer moah choppa, or vice versah, and you iz still Orky enuff.
# You'z kan build an army of serial [[METAL BOXES|bawkses]] an' duk' tape an' maybe a bit o' spikez an' bitz and still look reel smart an' orky.
# Rolling a double six with Shokk Attack Gun.
# Some Git shootz 90% of Your squad, but the Nob smackz one boy on the 'ead and everybody iz doing good.
# You'z kan talk legally like a retard.
# Giving da boyz a frying pan on the 'ead and a fender on the shoulda makes dem 'arder.
# Putting dem in a fridge makez dem mega'ard.
# You'z kan use every armiez gunz, but none kan use Yourz.
# If you die you get proppa afterlife wiz lotta fighnin' an' booze, instead of being raped by laffin' daemons for eternity.
# You WILL die of laffin' if You play orkz.
# Eiff Edishun iz da horde edishun! We'z can field more boyz dan dem 'humies or bug fingies!
# Lastly, an' most importantly, da mane reezun it rokkz ta be an Ork iz dis:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


==Reasons it sucks to be an Ork==
# You're the one species that is actually dumber than humanity. <strike>{{BLAM|HERESY!}}</strike> *THUMP* LOK BOSS I GOT MEH WUN UH DEM UMIES!!!!
# Your war cry "WAAAGH!" is overused by everyone. LIEK IF "FOR DA EMPRAH!!!" IZN'T OVERUZZED AZ 'ELL
# No matter how hard you try, you will never achieve enough dakka... and if you did, it'd end up destroying you too. A TRAGGADY, DAT IS!
# Despite having some awesome-looking guns, you can't shoot things for shit. Your standard Ballistic Skill is 2 (which means at best hitting things on a 5+), and when you ''do'' shoot somebody successfully it's probably due to sheer volume of bullets more than anything else. YOU SAY DAT LOIKE IT'S A FUKKEN BAD THING! 
# Your sole purpose in stories is to distract the Space Marines and the Imperial Guard from more dangerous threats like Chaos, Tyranids or Necrons. BUT WE'Z GET TA HAVE A REAL GREAT FIGHT WHILEZ BEIN' A DISTRAKSHUN. SO IT'Z STILL ALL GOOD. ALSO HAV YOU EVEN READ DA BEAST ARISES WE ZOG DEM HUMMIES UP. 
# Your army falls apart at the seams the minute your Warboss dies. NAH, WE'S JUST GOT TA FIGURA' OUT WHUZ IN CHARGE NEXT, DAN WE COMES BACK AROUND TA FUMP EM AGAIN! <strike> Hiss! By that time we've NOMNOMNOMNOM'D on you </strike> '''*CRUNCH*''' ANUDDA 'EAD FER ME POINTY STIKK!
# Anytime you use anything, from your smallest pistol to your [[Battlefleet Gothic|largest space ship]], you have the same chances of surviving its use as a grot snuggling an overcharged standard issue Imperial [[Plasma Weapons|Plasma Gun]]. Offset by the fact you can survive 4th degree burns, decapitation, being septic, and acquiring space tetanus. OY, DOK. WUTZ DIS TETANATHINGY? CAN WE'Z SQUISH ET?
# In Second Ed there was an alarming risk that your entire army might die before the battle actually started because almost no Ork units had sealed armour. ORKZ DUN' NEED ARMER! NOT WEN ORKZ GOT DAKKA!! SMASH DEM GITS WITOUT'IT!
# You have a mushroom and two spore pods dangling between your legs, and Kroot find it a delicacy. <strike> GOOD MEAT BAKKAWW! </strike> *THUMP* I DUNNO WUT DIS DUN SAID BUT IT URT ME EYES SO I KRUMPED IT!!!!
# You're part of [[Squad broken]]. WELL, UH... ZOGGIT. WE GOT NUFFIN CLEVA TA SAY BOUT DAT. MAYBE SUMFING ABOUT IT BEING MADE BY DEM NECKBEARDED GROTZ WIV DA FEDORAZ AN STUFF
# <strike>You haven't had a new codex since 4th edition. And it's starting to show.</strike> SHUT IT YA GIT, WE'ZE DA ORKS AND YOU'Z A BUNCH O PANSY GITS! B'SIDES, WE IZ GOING TA GET NEW CODEX DIS 6TH ED! OI BOSS WEZ GOT A SEVENF EDISHUN CODEX BEFORE THE PANSY GITS DID! N NOW WE'Z GOTZ A SHINEY NEW 7 ORK-DITION CODEX-FINGY! 
# <strike>There is a slight chance that [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is going to write 6th edition codex. If so, in the next codex you'll read something like this: "The Orks insatiable thirst for violence is, really, just a way of coping with the angst they feel that no matter what they do, they will never be Ultramarines."</strike> WHO KEEPS LETTIN' DEZ' HUMIES IN 'ERE! WE'Z BLOODY INFESTED! GET DA BURNAZ! <strike>(Also [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is apparently too busy with pestering Forge world for more Space marine resin collections to be converted into plastic for the main product line to be bothered with our humble bumbling green skins.)</strike> Tipakill 'umie bee'ayevyohr dat iz. Alwayz ignorin' da orky fingz in loif an' only payin' attentchuhn to zoggin' 'umie fingz. Downroight shaymfol dat iz. Da onlee REEL orky 'umie dere iz iz dat Kaptuhn Yarik; Gork - or eh, iz it Mork? - bless 'iz 'eart. (Trust us greenskin, Matt Ward ignoring you is a good thing.) But waznt 'e fired fur being an annoying grot? I GOT DA BURNAZ!! WE HAVIN A BBQ?? MAKE MINE CRISPY AN DUN FORGET DA EXTRA SQUIG SAUCE
# Orks do not draw psychic power from the [[Warp]], [[Derp|but still take Perils of the Warp]]. DEM WEIRDBOY GITZ JUST ORK'D TOO 'ARD!
# <strike>if dere ain't any Stormboyz, yer army k'n get krumped by da Blu Gitz real easy like. No not [[Ultramarines|DEM]] blue gits The [[Tau|udda ones]] wif da nice dakka and puny stompas.</strike>'''*CRUNCH*''' OI! WHO LET DA GROT DO DA TALKIN?! WE JUS' SMASH DEM BLUEBOYZ WIT 'ARE CHOPPAS WHEN WE GET CLOSE, AN' IF DAT DON'T WORK WE JUST MATCH DERE AMOUNT OF DAKKA WIT SOME PRETTY KILLY SHOOTAS. UNLESS DEY SEND DA RED COMMIT THO... GOOD FING DEY GOT RID OF HIM!
# Even doh dere is [[Yarrick|wun humie]] dat foights good and ard and iz real ded killy, ee iz da greatest enemy ov da Orkz. *THUNK* DA GREATEST ENNEMY OF DA ORKS IZ DA RED COMMIT! DAT BLUE BOY'S STOMPA IS FREE TIMES FASTA DAN A REGULAR WUN!
# <strike>You probably dont have a penis. You can piss on Space Marines, only to die a short while later.</strike> IZ DAT BAD FING? OOMIEZ SAYZ DAT IT VERY HURTZ WHEN WE 'IT EM IN IT? Wait... Dat what dey call the mushroom'n'spore pods? Poor suckas! Dey have PAIN nerves down dat way? No WONDER dey scream so bad when we kick em there. 
#<strike>Even (some) vegetarians will eat you</strike> NOT IF WE EAT DEM FIRST! HAH! 
# You all piss yourselves at the very mention of the name of a certain [[Farsight|Red Armored Swordsman]]. WE'Z JUST BE SO EXCITED CAUSE DAT BLUE-BOY ACTUALLY PUTS UP A FIGHT! More so than the Orks did against an old Ethereal with a pointed stick! *KRUMP* SHUT IT YA GREAT LANKY BLUE GROT 

== See Also ==
* [[Grot]]
* [[Snotling]]
* [[The Beast]]
* [[The War of The Beast]]
* [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]]
* [[Gorgutz_%27Ead_%27Unter|Warboss Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter]]
* [[Deffboss]]
* [[WAAAGH]]
* [["Da Tragedy of Hamlet, boss of Denmark" by Shake-da-boss-pole]]
* [[Makbeff]]
* [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Orks(7E)|Tactics/Orks]]
* [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Orks/Dred_List|Dreadnought List]]
* [[Codex Orks: Space Odin Edition]]
* [[Ork Gunz]]
* [[Gargant]]
* [[Stompa]]
* [[Deff Skwadron]]
* [[Scraplootas]]
* [[Da Chopshop]]
* [[Ork Trek]]
* [[Ironjawz]] for one of their Age of Sigmar counterparts.
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whxcq4I0kAo Da Ork Song]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXCLtD5batc Dem Ork Boyz Song]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Ork flowchart.png|WAAAAGH flowchart
Image:WAAAAGH.jpg|WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Image:Ork_WTF_is_this.jpg|WOT'Z DAT
Image:Orks_are_made_4_rokkin.jpg|ORKZ IZ DA ROKKINEST
Image:WOT_DA_ZOG.jpg|DA PAINBOSS IZ GONNA WANT TA LOOK AT DIS WOTEVA IT IS
Image:Disguise_1.jpg|Orks are the best at disguises
Image:Disguise_2.jpg|Stoopid [[beakie|beakies]]
Image:Disguise_3.jpg|Weeabork
Image:Orktaku.jpg|A different sort of Weeabork
Image:Samurork4.jpg|The truest of Weeaborks
Image:Da_warboss_Lincoln.jpg|The assassination of warboss Lincoln.
Image:GorknMork.jpg|Gork and Mork
Image:Ork_Fortress.jpg|WE'Z AMUZED BY ENTIRE PUNY 'UMIE IMPERIUM
Image:Pimp_Ork_1.jpg|PompadOrk
Image:Pimp_Ork_2.jpg|EY YOU GITZ WE 'EARD YOU LIKE TA MAKE IT ORKY SO WE ORKYFIED YER ORKY SQUIGOFF SO YOU'Z CAN WAAAGH WHILE YOO'Z WAAAGHIN'
Image:Killskata.jpg|Jet Grind RadiOrk
Image:Gorkken_Morkann_by_Jaekyu.jpg|'OO DA 'ELL DO YA FINK WE IS?!!!
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz_2.jpg|IT'Z TIME FER SUM IKSPERIMINTS
Image:Ork_teaparty.jpg|No reason we can't be civil
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz.jpg|SIANTZ. It works.
Image:Oldboyz.jpg|Oldboyz can Waaagh! too. They just need a nap afterwords.
Image:Orkpoke.jpg|SlowpOrk
Image:Ork_Anatomy.jpg|Inaccurate (but in-universe) depiction of orky gubbinz.
Image:Orkspekta_gubbinz.jpg|Orkspekta Gubbinz iz on da case!
Image:Orkishbeprepared.jpg|<strike>Jeremy Irons is orky, right?</strike> COURZE 'E IZ! E'Z ZO ORKY YOU'Z CAN'T LISTEN TA DA ORIGINAL SONG WIWOUT 'EARING DIS!
Image:Green.jpg|Supagreen
Image:1229746903774.jpg|[[Deff Skwadron]]. Zoggin' bootiful.
Image:Proud'n'Bootiful.jpg
Image:1239594444871.jpg|Transform and WAAAGH! (Holyshit this thing actually transforms.)
Image:1258887158852.jpg| Essentially....this is the best thing ever.
Image:mythbusta.jpg
Image:Ork_love_potion.jpg|Love Can WAAAGH!
Image:Ork with Lego shootah.jpg
Image:Squig_drops.jpg
Image:Eldars_are_orky.jpg|[[Eldar]]z iz da most orky race evar, ya gitz!
Image:Ork Powuz.png|An alternate explanation of how a WAAAGH works.
File:Mork and gork orks warhammer 40k 1334752549083.jpg|Brutally cunning or cunningly brutal?
File:CoDorks.jpg|Only Orks are capable of making something utterly godawful into something completely Orky.
File:SmurfOrks.jpg|Orks, mastaz uf stelff'en
File:Bork_Kube.jpg|A viable Ork space ship design
</gallery></center>

{{Template:Orks-Forces}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}

[[category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Orks]]
[[Category: Xenos]]

Ork

2017-10-03T03:12:24Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Ork Teknology */

{{awesome}}
'''''"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"''''' 
:-Da Orks, all da zoggin' time.
[[File:Orks attack3.jpg|600px|thumb|right|'Ere we zoggin' go, let's break sum' 'eads!]]
{{Topquote|War means fighting, and fighting means killing.|Nathan Bedford Forrest}}
{{Topquote|War is the business of barbarians.|Napoleon Bonaparte}}

The '''Orks''' are a race in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Commonly known as "Greenskins" or "the Green Tide", they're probably the most numerous and infestive race in the entire 40K setting, or at least on par with the [[Tyranids]]. They have a ''[[Warhammer Fantasy]]'' equivalent, the only major differences being that fantasy Orks are now called Orruks, and they have a (slightly) lower level of technology relative to the setting.

==Overview==
[[File:Ork_Boy.jpg|200px|thumb|left|[[Ork_Boy|The original Boy]]. This guy has been around since 2nd ed.]]
Orks are the most successful race of the [[Warhammer 40,000 | 41st millennium]]. Despite their entire lack of structured education or training, they seem to be very proficient with all kinds of technology, which they inevitably utilize for their armaments (of which firearms and vehicles are the most common). This is explained away in the fluff by their origins: they were created by the [[Old Ones#Warhammer 40,000|Old Ones]] to be a warrior race called the ''Krork,'' and some of them (the Mekboyz) were genetically hard-wired to have a pre-programmed proficiency for technological engineering. Unfortunately, the Old Ones died before they could finish their little science project; specifically the psychic control mechanism. The ancient Krork were known to have fought the ancient Eldar empire when the latter was at the peak of its power and were implied to have been a considerable threat (a Harlequin in M32 compares the nearly invincible hordes of the Beast as being like children compared to them).
This means that such war machines simply fight everything, everywhere, all the time. In principle, Orks can loot just about anything: the minor greenskins, such as "Grotz" ([[goblin]]s) can construct several working vehicles and machines out of mere scrap (They actually can't but orks believe they can so it happens see: a few paragraphs below).

The Orks derive much of their success from their reproductive process: Orks are, essentially, a psychosensitive hybrid of animal and fungi, not unlike a very complex version of a lichen. One advantage is a redundancy of vital organs, making them able to easily survive events such as head transplants and the fact that it's not easy to kill an individual Ork since they could very well survive injuries that would put a human to a crippled state. In fact there is a [[Valhalla|Valhallan]] folktale about a relative finding an Ork, [[Carnifex#Old_One_Eye|thawing it out only for it to attempt to kill them]]. Another advantage is their ability to grow larger as they win more battles (due to the aforementioned psychosensitivity): an Ork who is winning a fight is enjoying himself, which causes fluctuations in the gestalt field that all Orks generate. These fluctuations supercharge the Ork's physiology, causing the Ork to gain muscle mass and evolve. Consequently, if an Ork should somehow be incapable of fighting (like being imprisoned); they will actually ''devolve'' instead, causing the Ork to become pudgy and lethargic. This was observed during [[Xenology]] where a captive Ork was eventually found morbidly obese when the Inquisitor brought him out for dissection. Hence,the saying: "Orkz iz made fer fighten' and winnin'" applies literally in their case, as the incentives of fighten' and winnin' are what makes or breaks an Ork.

In addition, the fungal part of their physiology allows Orks to reproduce asexually en masse through underground fungal colonies that act as self-sustaining ecosystems. Reproductive spores enter the topsoil, produce fungal mycelia that assimilate base nutrients and could exchange genetic information with other mycelia, putting normal Human sexual reproduction to shame, and eventually produce lesser Orkoids: squigs and Grotz. The Grotz cultivate the protein-rich squigs in preparation for the emergence of the greater Orks, which take longer to develop. All in all, this cycle was designed to fight against the Necrons, which sterilized a planet to its bacteria. Orks can terraform a barren planet into a veritable paradise this way, though what defines "paradise" is a point of discussion; if you like endless wars and tribal conflicts in a mushroom rich planet, it probably is.

Though all Orks discharge reproductive spores throughout their lives, the most significant and numerous emissions occur when an Ork ''is dismembered or dies.'' This means that, for Orks, combat and death are their principal means of reproduction and genetic exchange, and a Space Marine/Guardsman chainsawing/shooting/artillery-bombarding an ork just results in ten thousands, if not millions, of Orks coming for ya, kinda like [[tyranids]]. Nice Job chainsawing it, Space Marine. Due to this, an Ork infestation is incredibly hard to handle if kept unchecked since it won't take them long to get enough boyz to launch a full-scale WAAAGH! to overrun an entire planet and necessitate [[Exterminatus]]. We can use flamethrowers, [[Plasma]], nukes, [[melta]] weapons or anything high-energy to eradicate any spores and fungi, saving the world from the eventual Exterminatus, but then again, efficiency ain't manly n' [[grimdark]] enough compared to good ol' spore-releasing bolters, chainswords and artillery.

Orks only have two popular combat doctrines: [[Choppa|choppy]], which involves giving your opponents a good stomping up close, and [[dakka|shooty]] which involves spitting out as many bullets as possible with an assortment of shootas, and the faster it shoots; the better. That said, a good shoota should also still be able to kill enemies ''while'' putting out a lot of dakka, otherwise it wouldn't be killy (and woe betide an Ork who isn't killy). Because of the Ork's naturally low penchant for accuracy; they typically get around this problem in two methods: the first one is to have a gun that simply shoots bullets as fast as Orkily possible that the wielder ''should'' be able to hit something eventually (strapping two or more shootas together is a crude but effective way to go about this). The second one is to make the gun really killy every time it shoots, like putting a dangerously high-explosive shell in a kannon that can obliterate an entire building in one shot.

Orks are commonly believed to be stupid and superstitious by the other races of the 40k world, but they can also be cunning and quick on the draw. Orks are always ready for a fight and while you can trick them, they quite like the idea of tricking people back.

Their philosophy of DA RED WUNZ GO FASTA is the ultimate truth: because of the aforementioned gestalt field, Ork vehicles painted red will, ultimately, go faster than Ork vehicles that are ''not'' painted red because the Orks believe that Red makes everything go faster:
DIS 'UMIE GIT THINKZ DAT DA RED WUNZ DON'T GO FASTA? DEY DON'T KNOW DAT ANYFING PAINTED RED MAKES IT DA BEST AN' MAKES IT GO FASTAAAA COZ RED IZ BEST! '''*WHAM!*''' NO IT AIN'T, YA BLEEDIN' SQUIG, '''GREEN''' IZ BEST! '''*Boots up the bog*''' SHUT YER GOB, 'E WAS TALKIN' 'BOUT DA TRUKKS, YA GIT!

We can assume that this cuts both ways, with enemies such as the Blood Angels and White Scars gaining the same boost due to their use of red paint.

A hallmark of Orkoid, for lack of a better term, civilization is the WAAAGH!. Pronounced similar to "war" as the "GH" is silent. Always written in all-caps, with at least three "A"s and an exclamation point, the WAAAGH! occurs when an Ork population reaches critical mass and a dominant Warboss appears. A Warboss is an Ork Alpha who is bigger than all the other Orks and have proven his right to lead by either his sheer size or krumpin' all the other big Orks that thinks otherwise. Lesser Orks sense the presence of the Boss in the Orks' psychic field and follow him on what is often described as a combination of pub riot and holy war with a dash of genocide. The WAAAGH! accomplishes two things: it weeds out weaker Orks, keeping the species strong; and it facilitates genetic exchange and reproduction as the Orks die and release spores.

The Ork economy is based on teef, more information on which [[toof|can be found here]].

Ork religious beliefs also help manage their population. Orks believe in two gods, [[Gork]] and [[Mork]]. One is the god of cunning brutality and the other is the god of brutal cunning, the difference being that one hits you when you aren't looking and the other hits you harder when you are. Unfortunately, no one can decide which god is which, nor can the Orks decide which is better: cunning brutality or brutal cunning. These differences of opinion tend to lead to Gigantic Brawls, yet another method of keeping the Ork race strong, warlike and in check. Their division also keeps them perpetually divided, for it has been theorized that if the Orks were to ever unite in one big WAAAGH!, their gestalt reality-warping field might just as well turn omnipotent and crush all opposition

Ork society is effectively the perfect society. Its society is a Kratocracy (A Government ruled by the strongest, fitting for Orks) in maturity as all disputes are settled fairly quickly and painfully (just the way they like it). The economy is steady, as teef grow and rot at a reliable rate. Once a Boss is in charge, mostly everyone falls into place, and the Orks go and [[/tg/ Gets Shit Done|get shit done]].

Also, they probably killed the Imperial Fists. All of them.

Fun fact: The orks use black and white on their shock troops, because it reminds them of the Luna Wolves who destroyed them at Ullanor. The orks do not fear death, but they do fear the Luna Wolves. That is right, Horus traumatized them as a race more than the fucking grim reaper. Note: Why would you fear death, if death usually results in you being reborn into several thousands of yourself? Horus probably swept the spores up post battle and that's why they fear him. Though it's also worth mentioning that Orks harbor a natural fear of Commander Farsight too, whom they know as "Da Red Commit". Though given that the Dawn Blade consumes the souls of those it kills, it's likely that any Orks cut down by Farsight do not reproduce. But then again he was committing Ork genocide long before he found the blade so...

==Ork Teknology==

[[File:Dat zoggin bigmek by majesticchicken.jpg|220px|thumb|left|A perfect example of Ork tech. Powered by make-believe and the essence of love, and patched together with duct tape and chewing gum, the emperor himself has truly never seen finer craftsmanship or innovation.]]

Ork technology works mainly because the Orks think it does. The official explanation is that the subconscious gestalt psychic field that all Orks generate enables their technology to function; the stronger the field, the more unlikely their technological achievements become. In older versions of the fluff, if you hand an Ork a pipe and convince him it's a gun, it WILL shoot bullets. They're like reality-warping Physical "Gods", only weakened by their stupidity and their preference to fight each other instead of uniting, hence why the Imperium still manages to survive in these dark times. In later versions, this has been toned down from "impossible" to merely "unlikely" because GW won't keep anything canon that's that [[derp|badass]]. If Ork technology is held together by spit, duct tape, and hope, then the Orks' psychic field provides the hope.

For example: a Wartrukk with a mob of Orks in it sputters and dies. Da boyz hop out and have a look.
One of da boyz examines the readouts and says to the Nob driver, "Da bloody fing is outta gas!"
Said Nob hits the offending Ork in the face so hard that he falls unconscious. "Look 'ere, I'z da boss, and I sez I filled this fing up righ' before we left!"
The rest of da boyz look at each other, halfway convinced. He ''is'' the biggest Ork among them, and he ''did'' just prove it. Maybe he ''did'' fill it up right before they left. That's the sort of thing one does when one's in charge. Da boyz begin to file back into the Wartrukk, and with a satisfied nod, the Nob gets in and cranks her up. Because da boyz believe that there is plenty of fuel in the truck, one drop does for ten, and the Wartrukk and da boyz arrive just in time for the next fight.

The purpose for this sort of thing is primarily to compensate for the Orks' technological disadvantage by comparison with races like the [[Tau]], [[Necron]]s, or the [[Eldar]]. For example, a meat cleaver in the hands of an Ork can tear through the toughest ceramite armor if the Ork believes it will; for anyone BUT an Ork, a power weapon or the equivalent would be required to do so. This tends to work well for them, but not for the other races of the galaxy: Imperial observers note that Ork weapons generally will not function in the hands of a non-Ork. The only reason the Orks haven't exploited the limits of their generated gestalt field by creating easily made but devastatingly powerful weaponry that could eclipse the weapons of the other races is that they themselves do not know nor understand that they create said field, they believe that their equipment works because that's how the universe wants it to work, not because they themselves are making it work. Which I guess makes it true. This, in turn, makes for an interesting paradox: If orks managed to understand the physical universe as it is, they would not believe their "weapons" work, thus, stripping them of their psychic advantage. If there is a little ounce of disbelief, this would wreck their ability to... believe hard enough so as to manipulate reality.

This said, Orky know-wots DO have a say in stuff that the Orks build. Mekboyz build much of the stuff they do because they have been genetically ingrained with the knowledge on how to make and maintain their technology. While much of their tech runs because they want to, the basis is that the Orks ''can'' actually build a conceptually working frame to get all Orky on. This explains how Orks can build such technological wonders as the Shokk Attack Gun, which propels [[Snotling|Snotlings]] through the Warp and into the armor, tanks, [[Rape|and bodies]] of their enemies. Also, there ''have'' been instances of Ork tech working well in the hands of other races,( at least for a time till it blows up). Be careful though, most Ork players have ''very'' deep-set opinions on how Orky tech works, and [[skub|debates]] between them can generate much [[RAGE]].

Occasionally, if a "tech-caste" gets into control of an Ork society, ridiculous constructions can result. Best example we know about is the Telon Reach Empire and its central stronghold Gorro. A "scrapworld", Gorro was full of things that shouldn't have worked at all (Horus notes that individual bits of architecture inside were just too mad for any human to contemplate) and could withstand the normally planet-killing weapons on the Vengeful Spirit and Emperor's own flagship. The Orks defending it were far more advanced than most (everything from their augmententations to the accuracy of their ships' weapons) and had actually built a plasma reactor to hold their world together. Their function mostly relied on the Orks' gestalt, as the core began to fail as the Emperor, Horus and their respective posses carved through the population. Once the Emperor killed the resident Warboss and psychically burned the rest of the Orks (a preview of what he'd eventually do to Horus) the system went into total meltdown.

===Special Note on Orky Vehicles===
To properly describe what Ork vehicles are like is a difficult prospect, or perhaps an overlooked opportunity. Either way, few actually attempt to clarify in tangible terms what orkish vehicle-makers create.

Let's start with the venerable Trukk. Keep in mind that the standard Ork Boy is a hunched, monstrous, 7-foot-tall Hulk Hogan. Now, the Trukk is essentially an over-sized, skeletal pickup truck, with armored bus tires and a spiked ram-plate for a bumper. The frame is then covered in all manner of inch-thick armor plating, the basic standard in orkish vehicle armor. No Ork vehicle with more than two wheels has an engine smaller than a V8, and the trukk is no exception. A common brag for a trukk owner, "I'z put twelve silenderz in dis 'ere kart" (when not met with the classic "You shoulda sprung fer forteen!" comeback), is similar to a human saying he put an extra two cylinders in his car and overhauled his transmission.

Larger orkish vehicles, like the Big Trakk, often use V14 engines that any human would say belongs on a fishing trawler. Alternatively, some vehicles use turbine engines for extra torque (which is always a good thing) and a higher top speed (also a good thing), or crackling electrical engines (less popular than a good-old combustion engine, but can "accidentally" taze pesky Lootas or enemies who get too close (i.e. rammed)). Big Trakks are literally the size of a heavy tank, but are completely open-topped to provide a chassis for hauling Boyz or insanely big gunz into the fight. They have banks of fat-tired wheels or, most likely, four-plus-foot-wide treads. They have as much torque as a Battle Wagon and fear no infantry.

==Orks and the Emperor==

One theory of the [[Emperor|Emprahs]] continued existence (despite the fact his throne is in serious need of an MOT) is the fact that the Orks BELIEVE it to be so. As any self-respecting Weirdboy will tell you, what da boyz fink will 'appen (see below), so if they think the Emperor is still alive then alive he will be. Probably cos they're not stupid enough to realise he's a corpse more fucked than a Slaaneshi cultist at Ciaphas Cain's place.. 'ANG ON A SECOND.. I FINK DEY BE MAKIN FUN OF US...WELL.....MAYBE WE OUTTA GO STOMP SUM HUMIES! (thas rite, the "chaos boys" are messing with you orks, go stomp them in the name of the Emp... For the WAAAGGGHH!. aehm..)

==Special Groups of Orks==
Apart from the regular Boyz, there are several groups of Orks who specialize in a specific task or doctrine. Called Oddboys (if they are relatively normal when fighting time rolls around) or Wyrdboys (when they shoot lighting out of their eyes, gunz or eye-gunz). The most common ones are:

===[[Oddboys|Oddboyz]]===
This category is filled with Orks who express genetic predispositions to certain tasks. Here are your Mekboys (engineers), Painboys (doctors), Weirdboys (psykers), Madboyz (psychos), Slaverz (take care of grots, snotlings and slaves), [[Dorfs|Brewerz]] (makers of alcohol; retconned), [[Noise Marines|Rockaz]] (musicians; also retconned), and Shoutaz (communications experts).

====Kult of Speed====

[[File:Kult o speed by majesticchicken.jpg|250px|thumb|right|'''WAAAAAAAAGHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''']]

[[Speed freeks]] who commonly go into the battlefield on bikes hyped up on dakka and flashy bitz, as their name suggests, they'z like goin' faster dan fast. On tabletop, they're okay, since they're really shooty for Orks and fairly cheap. These guys field the classic Mobile Ork Army, which causes loads of [[Butthurt]] and [[Rage]] when people go up against them. Just look out for Lascannons.
*'''[[Deff Skwadron | Flyboys]]''' - Crazed pilots that like fast vehicles, death defying stunts, and lots of dakka. The better pilots, fighta aces, are held in great esteem only by other flyboys and tend to give themselves crazy-cool nicknames.

====[[Burna Boyz | Burna boyz]]====
Burna boyz are similar to standard orks in ability, possessing no unique qualities except every one of them being a pyromaniac. These boys are the type who would burn their own mother alive if she tried to stop them from playing with matches, even though Orks technically don't have moms. As such, they regularly burn their own comrades for the hell of it (to see them 'do da burny dance'). Their obsession with fire is of course, genetically coded, and this has a particular disadvantage during periods of time where stealth is of the essence. In fact, this pyromania coupled with the rate of accidental deaths among Orks may explain why Burna boyz aren't more common; after all, an Ork that accidentally burns himself to death wouldn't be able to spread his spores so easily. On a more lighthearted note, they are also quite fond of fungus cigars! GREEN IZ BEST

====[[Mekboy|Mekboys]]====
Meks are Orks who are capable of making the ramshackle yet effective weapons and vehicles the Orks use. They're primarily the ones who makes the warband's wagons, restore salvaged vehicles, and create/modify weapons. An Ork who lead bands of Mekboys is called a "Big Mek", and is a bitch to kill on tabletop if he's kitted out. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZQdaEFa_60 Five-up cover saves for everyone!] 'Ho says we aint smart 'n' such! Only fing betta den an ork is an ork wif a good bit of technorkology 

====[[Tankbustas]]====
Many Orks enjoy the odd explosion. These guys like that so much that they decided what better way to get their kicks than to get into a nice squad of 5-15 boys and try blowing tanks sky high with their rokkits. They also train Squigs to run into tanks while strapped to the hilt with explosives. And if neither of that works, run into close-combat and strike the tank with a rokkit attached to a metal stick. They get so high off this that they will enter the broken vehicle, eat any survivors, and drink the motor oil in a ritual act known as "GETTIN' TANKED!" 

====[[Lootas]]====
Lootas are Orks who are obsessed with pimping out their shootas by salvaging bitz from their enemies. Lootas are critically important to Orkish mechanical industry, because they head salvage operations and assist Meks where Grots can't. They're also the ones who loot wrecked tanks and vehicles after a battle to use as Looted Wagons, with the help of Mekboys, which means Orks can remobilize rapidly, and scale up to match tank-driving foes. <strike>When not fighting or looting, Lootaboyz are a menace to Orky society, stealing, swindling, making trouble, and being the reason other Boyz can't have nice things.</strike> WOT?! YIZ SAYIN' DERE'S TIME WHEN DA ORKZ AIN'T FOIGHTIN' OR LOOTIN'?! I OUTTA GIVE YA A STAMP!!!

====[[Flash Gitz]]====
<strike> DA PIMPIEST ORK IZ DA BESTEST ORK!!!!!!</strike> Dat is why dey arrogant Gits. They are another group of shoota-obsessed Orks known as "Flash Gitz"; rich, obnoxious Bad Moonz gits who buy powerful weapons and upgrades using their large stockpiles of [[toof|teef]]. They love nothing more than showing off their wealth and (supposedly associated) martial power. They do things like wearing ''FABOLOUS'' clothing, sporting huge banners declaring their awesomeness (shogun-style), and plating everything they have in gold, silver, platinum, or any other shiny metal they have at hand (although gold is preferred). Goldz iz da bestest. Flash Gitz boast the shootiest kustom shootaz in all of orkdom, sometimes known as "snazzgunz", which makes them an invaluable asset to their clan. Conversely, due to their boasting and attitude problems they often alienate pretty much every other Ork they work with, and are prone to getting their arrogant asses booted out of their group the moment they become less useful than annoying.

====[[Freebooterz]]====
Orks who raid and pillage the galaxy as MOTHERFUCKING PIRATES. And just to add to their awesomeness, they'll usually dress and/or speak like pirates. (W)AAARG! Well-known individuals include Kaptins Badrukk and Bludflagg.

====[[Ork Kommando|Kommandos]]====
Orks who managed to figure out that charging a gunline isn't always the best option, so dey'z da sneakiest of da Orks. They typically paint themselves purple, which Orks believe is the sneakiest color (and because Orks are Orks, purple does in fact make them harder to see ... don't ask how the fuck that one works, it just does Hav you eva seen a purpul ork? Course not, dey's too sneaky . Kommandos rely on stealth tactics rather than balls-out firepower, and achieve this by using crude camouflage techniques, Speshul Forces equipment such as NVGs, various types of grenades, and all those other gubbins that makes them all sneaky. The concept of Orks using tactics beyond drowning their enemies in corpses and bullets is so completely out there that a lot of Imperial commanders [[Skaven|do not believe that Kommandos actually exist]], but nobody laughed when a Kommando unit suddenly [[Blood Ravens|hi-jacked]] a unit of 3 [[Deathstrike Missile Launcher]]s inside a Mordian regiment's lines drove 1 to the front and proceeded to launch it at the their front lines, killing thousands, including a [[Baneblade]] (Except for the Orks, who laughed their faces off as this was happening). As the Kommandos ran off with the remaining one and 2 extra missiles.

Kommandos are typically distrusted by Orks due to their chosen battle strategy. They view as sneaking about rather than getting to a fight, right and proppa as "Muckin' about". The enjoyment of the color purple among them is also considered right strange. As there aint no such thing as a purple ork!

In practice, all of this boils down to a fairly simple difference in tactics. Whereas a normal Ork Boy will see the enemy and immediately [[WAAAGH|shout]], run up to him, and smash him in the head, a Kommando will see the enemy, hide behind a nearby [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|bush]]/[[Dorf|barrel]]/[[Creed|lamp-post]] and wait for the enemy to get close like 5 feet to 2 meters, THEN shout, run up to him, and smash him in the head.

An ork asked about Kommando groups. "I dinna see anyfing... Do you?"

====Feral Orks====
Hidden away in GW fluff are these guys. These guys are what happens after a WAAAGH! has left your planet. They crop up in wildernesses and form tribes. They don't have technology (like shootas) or any kind of mekboys or even good resources to build junk. They are roughly on par with your [[Warhammer Fantasy|Fantasy]] Orks, so you can just use your Fantasy army in 40k if you can fluff your army right. Not like it matters, it's the same tactic either game. They tend to have Grots, Kommandos and Weirdboys coming out of their ears, and love to ride big squigs. If you don't prune them back to the forest well enough, they might sic buttloads of squiggoths on you. Snakebites love these guys, and if space-born Orks pick them up, Feral Orks usually become Snakebites anyway.

They breed a special kind of Oddboy, the Pigdok, who is a combination of a Mek and a Dok, but excels at neither. They do surgical procedures like a stereotypical medicine man, wander around covered in robes and talismans given to them by the Weirdboy Shamans, and head the construction of things like ballistas and catapults, all the way up to magical stompy Idols and the [[Titans_40k#Orky_Titans|Steam Gargant]].

====[[Weirdboy | Weirdboyz]]====
Weirdboyz are Orks who are active psykers. All Orks are passive psykers, emitting their gestalt field, but Weirdboyz are the only ones who can decide they're gonna blow another Ork's face off with a mean look and a lightning bolt (well, the only Orks who can decide to do it and it'll happen). They tend to be crazy and can blow up if they're not careful. Even when they are careful. Sometimes blowing up is the preferred/expected option for a Weirdboy.

==Retcons==
All following Ork Oddboys have been retconned, at least by GW's word. They live on in our hearts (and custom-models) as:

===Rokkas===
[[Rogue Trader]] Orks with a penchant for hard rock, metal, leather armor, and overgrown hair squigs. While still technically retconned, they do seem to keep cropping up in the fluff. Also known as Goff Rokkas, these boyz tend to come out of the Goffs exclusively, but it isn't completely unknown for other Clans to spit out one of these crazy green "musicians". They play machine gun guitars and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_wdRy7x4Sc PARTY 'ARD!!!]
It should be noted that Rokkas were invented in the Eighties, so they don't play things like Death Metal as much as they do generic Metal, 80's Metal, electric guitar ballads, and Hard Rock. It should also be noted that they are still available on Games Workshop's site. PARTY ON!
===Shoutas===
These orks have over-developed lungs and super-strong vocal cords so that they can [[Derp|yell really loud.]] Yes, you heard me right. They yell across Gargant-tops and over battlefield din to act as a telecommunications array. <strike>See, not all things that were retconned were too good to last.</strike> '''SHUDDUP STOOPID HUMIE, WHUT DO YOU KNOW?!?!?! SHOUTAS IZ DA BEST!!!!!!!'''

'''YOU'Z CALL DAT SHOUTIN'? YOU'Z AIN'T A REEL SHOUTA, YA GIT!'''


'''A REAL SHOUTA'''

'''DROWNS OUT DA'''

'''COMPUTISHUN!'''

'''I Konkur!'''


'''I'z prefur sneekin' up to some hummie and shoutin' in iz ear from reel gut close.'''


Anyone caught messing with this section again will get their shit handed to them. Do you know how fucking hard it is to make sure this shit is right? I can't do this AND dodge those fucking Orks. I'm a janitor, not a FUCKING NINJA!

'''See, iffin' you'z had sum of dat purpley paint, dis wouldn' be a problem now, would it?'''

''' 'e got youz good, e' did. aneewayz da squigs ated da inturn again. Git ta cleenen dat wod ya.'''

===Brewerz===
Again, not technically retconned, but never mentioned after about 3rd Edition. Brewerz, or Brewer Boyz function much like Mekboys or Mad Doks do, knowing the inns and outs of brewing through genetically innherited inntuition. They make alcohol out of squigs. Made everything from beers to malts to meads to liquors to scotches. Yes, certain squigs can be made into scotch. No, no grains are involved in the process. No, they've never don this in Scotland. No, you may not question this.
SQUIGGIE WALKER - RED LABEL! COS IT ZOGZ YOU IN DA BRAIN FASTA!
''Eend out of mashrooms too booss!'' 
Basically, they brew babies into beer sometimes. 
 
<strike>'''HERESY, ORK HERESY, ANY IMPERIAL CITIZENS WILL BE MURDERED ON SIGHT AFTER READING THIS.'''</strike>''' *WHAM* OY BOSS, DEM HUMIES IZ TRYN'A TAKE AWAYZ OUR SQUIG JUICE!
'''

''' Zoggin DAMN'IT! NOT AGAIN!'''

===Female Orks===

MY EYES!!!! THEY BURN!!!

Vaguely referenced in older fluff and glimpsed during Blood Bowl, sacrificed because nobody wants to see those canonized saggy Ork tits (Except [[/d/]]), and fucking whores (and ye mum). Suffice to say, some drawfags will still draw them and several on [[/tg/]] will doubtlessly [[Faptau|fap]] to it. Considering how many random mutations are seen amongst the Orks, the possibility is [[Meme|more likely than you'd think]]. In normal canon, Orks are asexual, popping out of fungal growths in the ground...

...but in the older fluff, when the Orks were basically Fantasy Orcs in space, there ''were'' female orks. Later fluff [[retcon]]ned this, so that in later parts of their life cycle Orks would temporarily develop sexual characteristics and go bang one another. For the sake of Games Workshop's writers' self-respect, this too was also retconned. And all but the drawfags are happy for that. All in all though, the idea of female orks or goblinoids of any sort is much more readily accepted across most genres involving greenskins of any sort, so the decision may more likely have been to make the Orks dependent on getting blown up to repopulate along with being hardlined for blockbuster style war (though, as with all evolution, this is mutable to change, as there are Orks like the Blood Axes who understand ideas like trading with da' humies', peace, and using functional armor and weapons that don't stop working just because da' mob' believes dey are useless. SEE, HUMIES ARE GUD' F'R SOME FINGS BUT NOT EVERY FING!).

 Oi'm twalf an' wots dis? 

===Brain Boyz===
Brain Boyz is how the Orks call the Old Ones. The retcon is that the Orks' origin has shifted around a few times, such as the Brain Boyz being the ancestors of the Snotlings (although the Orks still believe that, but it's no longer the official explanation it was in Rogue Trader).

(Dat'z still canon! Codex 7th ED 2014 and we'z seen it in the one before dat un!!!! What shrooms did ya zoggin' gits eat?!)

==Ork Klanz==
Oi, listen up ya gits. Dere's six diverant majah clanz of Ork, and dey's all right 'ard. Da clanz waz made way back by [[The Beast|the biggest, baddest warboss dere eva waz]], startin' out as his specialist boyz before dey became dey own klanz.

<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Dere's da '''Snakebites''', and dey'z a buncha fundie gits what won't use any teknowlogy more complicated den a [[choppa]] an' warpaint. Anytime dere's a world dat a WAAAAAGH smashed up, it gets full o' fundie boyz. When we pick em up, dey run off ta da Snakebites anyway instead o' learnin how ta fight propa. But dey got squiggoths, an' every WAAAAGH needs really big killy tings. Snakebites wear brown, like a buncha zoggin' Amish folk.
* Da '''Bad Moonz''', what gotz lotsa teef 'cause dey grow faster den any other orks, so dey'z a buncha rich gits. 'at meanz dat dey's got da best squigs and dakka, but since dey'z such lazy gits, dey's [[Tau|no good at choppin' an' stompin']], so other orks can always just find a Bad Moon and stomp his teef out. Bad Moonz wear Yella, da color a big booms and shiny bits.
* '''Goffs''' are a buncha gloomy gits what don't ever have any fun and don't give a grot's toss about dakka, but dey'z somma da 'ardest of all da orks. [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]] himself wuz a Goff. Dats why he's so big, 'ard, an mean. Goffs wear black, da color a bein' DED 'ARD!
* Da '''Evil Sunz''''re all part a da Kult a Speed, and dey've got da most Meks, so dey're always muckin' about with teknowlogical equipment an speedy karts. Deyz big believas in da color red, cuz RED 'UNZ GO FASTA!
* '''Deffskullz''' are a buncha teevin', lootin' gits what'll grab anyfing <del>what's not nailed</del> if it's nailed down they'll loot the nails den loot da fing that was nailed down an' make it orky. [[Looted|Anyfing]]. Even in da middle of a scrap. Da mekz loves em, though, cuz nobody'z got more bitz and gubbinz than a Deffskull Loota. Deffskullz all seemz ta have some kinda technikal know-wotz, dough. Deffskullz wear da color Blue, cuz Blue's a lucky color.
* And, last of all but not least, dere's da '''Blud Axez'''. Dey're da ones what've been hangin' around da stinkin' humies fer ages too long, and gone and developed all sorts a un-orky tings like ''taktiks'' an' ''recownasense'' an' ''camo'flage'' an worse of all da magikal and feared cry of ''retreat''. Dey've even got a sayin' bout it: ''"If we runs for it, it don't count as losing, cuz we can also come back for anuvver go, see?"'' Dey'z mocked as cowardly gits by most of da boyz, but cause dey be dead cunning dey'z da main source of da best warbosses in WAAAAAAAGH! time (Next ta Da Prophet him self). An' its '''alwayz''' WAAAAAAAGH! time, ya git! Blud Axez wear cammerflage, but at least they paint it nice an' bright so's you can see'em coming.

Later, when da humies learned dat der was six Beasts, and each lead a lejun o Boyz, dey started tinking dat each o da Clanz were da rem-re-leftovers o each Beast's lejun.</ul>

===Ork Non-Klanz===
<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Den dere's da '''[[Freebooterz|Freebootaz]]''', boyz wut left deir klan ta become merks an' piratz an' dat, Freebooterz iz often kicked o' deir klan for likin' sumtin' dat izn't violence more dan violence, like [[Kaptin Badrukk]] (teef), [[Wazdakka Gutsmek]] (goin' fast), or [[Zodgrod Wortsnagga]] (snotlings), but some leave o' deir own accord for similar reasons, like [[Kaptin Bluddflagg]] (loot). Freebootaz will even work for stupid 'umies for shinies (or hats), though dat don't mean dey won't turn 'round an 'ave a go at dem too.
* '''Feral Orkz''' are like Snakebites, but coz dey don't have a choice, what with not 'avin' access to Ork kulture seein' 'az dey don't have space travel. Often join the Snakebites as soon as dey'z recruited by a WAAAAAAGH.
* '''Speed Freekz''' is what you call da members o' da '''Kult o' Speed''', a klub any Ork what likes goin' fast a lot can join, not just da Evil Sunz.
</ul>

==Ork Daily Life==

[[File:Wh40k online concept.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Your average Ork home. Quite cozy when it comes down to it, really.]]

Morning.
GET UP! Doesn't matter when . But usually in the mid morning, -unless a nob kicks him in the face cause he is late for something, which he usually is. Next eat. Either the breakfast his pet grot brings him or the grot it self. Orks dont much care it all tastes the same dipped in mud and fried on a stick chased with some fungus beer.
Hit the drops. Yes the communal act of using the local bog. Literally. He might get a scar on his duff to show off if the Squigs are feisty that morning. Then swagger about and try to find new things to kill. Or new ways to kill things. This lasts till about noon.

Noon
LUNCH! Fungus rums and beers. Squig pies and mushroom fries. Plenty of fights break out at lunch usually from a loota stealing another Orks 'sweet-squig' dessert. Or some nob mouths off when drunk. Either way LUNCH! Next nap time/ wrekreation. Most Orks having spent a very busy day trying to think up new ways to kill or new things to kill will take a nap. Usually the average rank and file lad who has nothing better to do. It is around now that the more specialized Orkoids shall gather in their respective mobs and set about spending afternoon and early evening doing what they do best. Be it practicing blowing crap up if tankbustaz. Racing around the camp as speed freaks. Helping the meks if lootas or burnas. <strike>Hiding in plain sight if kommand-</strike> Move along, nofink to see 'ere.

Evening
WORK TIME! The boss or local big mek or Warp'ead bullies most every one around the camp center and gets up on his WAAAGH!!! Banner-tower and starts to bark out orders on what they will attack that night, or where they will hit to steal material to build his next projekt, or give a flashy psycho-pyrotectic light show during a prophetic chant. (though sometimes if no one got up till half past 5 they plan it during the early morning.) Depending on the Clan majority this can be as simple as "Smash dis!" (A goff) to "Ok Dis team needs ta be 'ere right when da rockets hit Or we wont-" <strike>(Yeah Blood axes dont know when to shut up) </strike> '''*THUMP*''' ZOGGIN' 'Umiez.

Midnight
DA ORKING HOUR! Do what was stated in the evening until they get tired and go home to bed. It don't count as failing cause they will try again tomorrow. Or pull it off and party all night (to the dismay of the defeated) until they pass out.

Even the Daily Life of the Ork is a miniature WAAAGH!!!

==Reasons it Rokks to be an Ork==
# We'z gotz a shiney new 7th ork-dition Codex-fingy!
# We'z da biggest an' da strongest.
# We'z made fer fightin' an' winnin'.
# We'z got more boyz dan anyone else.
# All an ork eva wantz to do fo'eva iz to keep fightin', winnin', an' lootin'.
# Dem mekboyz can loot anyfing an I mean [[Looted_Emperor|ANYFING]]!!
++''{{BLAM| Previous record has been made of note to Ordo Xenos for immediate actions to be taken. The Emperor Protects}}''++

Ummm, wot woz dat? Zog, I've lost count of da resuns for being an Ork!
# We'z already know everythin' wotz wort' learnin'.
# We'z da 2nd least [[grimdark]] race in da galaxy. BUT DA BEZT GREENDARK hur hur hur!
# Da painboyz can fix ya up right'n proppa, even if yer bloody 'ead'z chopped off.
# We'z got da shiniest bitz, or we'z 'bout to krump da git dat does.
# The longa ya fite, the bigga and stronga ya get.
# Teef's legal tenda. Punchin' sum git in da face getz youz a day'z meal.
# If da mekboy can finks it, he can build it.
# An' if he sayz it workz, he's roight.
# We'z da orkz an' dey iz not.
# Dem 'umiez and marine boyz screamin' "FER DA EMPRER", an dem spikey boys yellin' "BLOOD FO' DA BLOOD GOD!" is nofin' kompared to "WAAAAAAAAAGH!"
# Da red wunz will '''alwayz''' go fasta.
# Purple iz da sneekiest colah.
# Yello' iz da 'splodiest colah.
# Blu iz da lukiest colah.
# Green iz da orkiest colah.
# I haz a hole in me chest an' a choppa stuck to me leg? Didn' notice it while I wuz krumpin dem spiky boyz.
# Unlike dem 'umiez, greyskins, an' panzees, anyone can be a warboss usin' nofin' more den a choppa an' a litl bit o' dakka.
# Even if all da boyz get krump'd, we'z still win. Da only way da gits can zog us off is by [[Exterminatus|dakkain' da 'ole bludy planet]].
# You'z can trade in yer dakka fer moah choppa, or vice versah, and you iz still Orky enuff.
# You'z kan build an army of serial [[METAL BOXES|bawkses]] an' duk' tape an' maybe a bit o' spikez an' bitz and still look reel smart an' orky.
# Rolling a double six with Shokk Attack Gun.
# Some Git shootz 90% of Your squad, but the Nob smackz one boy on the 'ead and everybody iz doing good.
# You'z kan talk legally like a retard.
# Giving da boyz a frying pan on the 'ead and a fender on the shoulda makes dem 'arder.
# Putting dem in a fridge makez dem mega'ard.
# You'z kan use every armiez gunz, but none kan use Yourz.
# If you die you get proppa afterlife wiz lotta fighnin' an' booze, instead of being raped by laffin' daemons for eternity.
# You WILL die of laffin' if You play orkz.
# Eiff Edishun iz da horde edishun! We'z can field more boyz dan dem 'humies or bug fingies!
# Lastly, an' most importantly, da mane reezun it rokkz ta be an Ork iz dis:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


==Reasons it sucks to be an Ork==
# You're the one species that is actually dumber than humanity. <strike>{{BLAM|HERESY!}}</strike> *THUMP* LOK BOSS I GOT MEH WUN UH DEM UMIES!!!!
# Your war cry "WAAAGH!" is overused by everyone. LIEK IF "FOR DA EMPRAH!!!" IZN'T OVERUZZED AZ 'ELL
# No matter how hard you try, you will never achieve enough dakka... and if you did, it'd end up destroying you too. A TRAGGADY, DAT IS!
# Despite having some awesome-looking guns, you can't shoot things for shit. Your standard Ballistic Skill is 2 (which means at best hitting things on a 5+), and when you ''do'' shoot somebody successfully it's probably due to sheer volume of bullets more than anything else. YOU SAY DAT LOIKE IT'S A FUKKEN BAD THING! 
# Your sole purpose in stories is to distract the Space Marines and the Imperial Guard from more dangerous threats like Chaos, Tyranids or Necrons. BUT WE'Z GET TA HAVE A REAL GREAT FIGHT WHILEZ BEIN' A DISTRAKSHUN. SO IT'Z STILL ALL GOOD. ALSO HAV YOU EVEN READ DA BEAST ARISES WE ZOG DEM HUMMIES UP. 
# Your army falls apart at the seams the minute your Warboss dies. NAH, WE'S JUST GOT TA FIGURA' OUT WHUZ IN CHARGE NEXT, DAN WE COMES BACK AROUND TA FUMP EM AGAIN! <strike> Hiss! By that time we've NOMNOMNOMNOM'D on you </strike> '''*CRUNCH*''' ANUDDA 'EAD FER ME POINTY STIKK!
# Anytime you use anything, from your smallest pistol to your [[Battlefleet Gothic|largest space ship]], you have the same chances of surviving its use as a grot snuggling an overcharged standard issue Imperial [[Plasma Weapons|Plasma Gun]]. Offset by the fact you can survive 4th degree burns, decapitation, being septic, and acquiring space tetanus. OY, DOK. WUTZ DIS TETANATHINGY? CAN WE'Z SQUISH ET?
# In Second Ed there was an alarming risk that your entire army might die before the battle actually started because almost no Ork units had sealed armour. ORKZ DUN' NEED ARMER! NOT WEN ORKZ GOT DAKKA!! SMASH DEM GITS WITOUT'IT!
# You have a mushroom and two spore pods dangling between your legs, and Kroot find it a delicacy. <strike> GOOD MEAT BAKKAWW! </strike> *THUMP* I DUNNO WUT DIS DUN SAID BUT IT URT ME EYES SO I KRUMPED IT!!!!
# You're part of [[Squad broken]]. WELL, UH... ZOGGIT. WE GOT NUFFIN CLEVA TA SAY BOUT DAT. MAYBE SUMFING ABOUT IT BEING MADE BY DEM NECKBEARDED GROTZ WIV DA FEDORAZ AN STUFF
# <strike>You haven't had a new codex since 4th edition. And it's starting to show.</strike> SHUT IT YA GIT, WE'ZE DA ORKS AND YOU'Z A BUNCH O PANSY GITS! B'SIDES, WE IZ GOING TA GET NEW CODEX DIS 6TH ED! OI BOSS WEZ GOT A SEVENF EDISHUN CODEX BEFORE THE PANSY GITS DID! N NOW WE'Z GOTZ A SHINEY NEW 7 ORK-DITION CODEX-FINGY! 
# <strike>There is a slight chance that [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is going to write 6th edition codex. If so, in the next codex you'll read something like this: "The Orks insatiable thirst for violence is, really, just a way of coping with the angst they feel that no matter what they do, they will never be Ultramarines."</strike> WHO KEEPS LETTIN' DEZ' HUMIES IN 'ERE! WE'Z BLOODY INFESTED! GET DA BURNAZ! <strike>(Also [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is apparently too busy with pestering Forge world for more Space marine resin collections to be converted into plastic for the main product line to be bothered with our humble bumbling green skins.)</strike> Tipakill 'umie bee'ayevyohr dat iz. Alwayz ignorin' da orky fingz in loif an' only payin' attentchuhn to zoggin' 'umie fingz. Downroight shaymfol dat iz. Da onlee REEL orky 'umie dere iz iz dat Kaptuhn Yarik; Gork - or eh, iz it Mork? - bless 'iz 'eart. (Trust us greenskin, Matt Ward ignoring you is a good thing.) But waznt 'e fired fur being an annoying grot? I GOT DA BURNAZ!! WE HAVIN A BBQ?? MAKE MINE CRISPY AN DUN FORGET DA EXTRA SQUIG SAUCE
# Orks do not draw psychic power from the [[Warp]], [[Derp|but still take Perils of the Warp]]. DEM WEIRDBOY GITZ JUST ORK'D TOO 'ARD!
# <strike>if dere ain't any Stormboyz, yer army k'n get krumped by da Blu Gitz real easy like. No not [[Ultramarines|DEM]] blue gits The [[Tau|udda ones]] wif da nice dakka and puny stompas.</strike>'''*CRUNCH*''' OI! WHO LET DA GROT DO DA TALKIN?! WE JUS' SMASH DEM BLUEBOYZ WIT 'ARE CHOPPAS WHEN WE GET CLOSE, AN' IF DAT DON'T WORK WE JUST MATCH DERE AMOUNT OF DAKKA WIT SOME PRETTY KILLY SHOOTAS. UNLESS DEY SEND DA RED COMMIT THO... GOOD FING DEY GOT RID OF HIM!
# Even doh dere is [[Yarrick|wun humie]] dat foights good and ard and iz real ded killy, ee iz da greatest enemy ov da Orkz. *THUNK* DA GREATEST ENNEMY OF DA ORKS IZ DA RED COMMIT! DAT BLUE BOY'S STOMPA IS FREE TIMES FASTA DAN A REGULAR WUN!
# <strike>You probably dont have a penis. You can piss on Space Marines, only to die a short while later.</strike> IZ DAT BAD FING? OOMIEZ SAYZ DAT IT VERY HURTZ WHEN WE 'IT EM IN IT? Wait... Dat what dey call the mushroom'n'spore pods? Poor suckas! Dey have PAIN nerves down dat way? No WONDER dey scream so bad when we kick em there. 
#<strike>Even (some) vegetarians will eat you</strike> NOT IF WE EAT DEM FIRST! HAH! 
# You all piss yourselves at the very mention of the name of a certain [[Farsight|Red Armored Swordsman]]. WE'Z JUST BE SO EXCITED CAUSE DAT BLUE-BOY ACTUALLY PUTS UP A FIGHT! More so than the Orks did against an old Ethereal with a pointed stick! *KRUMP* SHUT IT YA GREAT LANKY BLUE GROT 

== See Also ==
* [[Grot]]
* [[Snotling]]
* [[The Beast]]
* [[The War of The Beast]]
* [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]]
* [[Gorgutz_%27Ead_%27Unter|Warboss Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter]]
* [[Deffboss]]
* [[WAAAGH]]
* [["Da Tragedy of Hamlet, boss of Denmark" by Shake-da-boss-pole]]
* [[Makbeff]]
* [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Orks(7E)|Tactics/Orks]]
* [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Orks/Dred_List|Dreadnought List]]
* [[Codex Orks: Space Odin Edition]]
* [[Ork Gunz]]
* [[Gargant]]
* [[Stompa]]
* [[Deff Skwadron]]
* [[Scraplootas]]
* [[Da Chopshop]]
* [[Ork Trek]]
* [[Ironjawz]] for one of their Age of Sigmar counterparts.
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whxcq4I0kAo Da Ork Song]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXCLtD5batc Dem Ork Boyz Song]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Ork flowchart.png|WAAAAGH flowchart
Image:WAAAAGH.jpg|WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Image:Ork_WTF_is_this.jpg|WOT'Z DAT
Image:Orks_are_made_4_rokkin.jpg|ORKZ IZ DA ROKKINEST
Image:WOT_DA_ZOG.jpg|DA PAINBOSS IZ GONNA WANT TA LOOK AT DIS WOTEVA IT IS
Image:Disguise_1.jpg|Orks are the best at disguises
Image:Disguise_2.jpg|Stoopid [[beakie|beakies]]
Image:Disguise_3.jpg|Weeabork
Image:Orktaku.jpg|A different sort of Weeabork
Image:Samurork4.jpg|The truest of Weeaborks
Image:Da_warboss_Lincoln.jpg|The assassination of warboss Lincoln.
Image:GorknMork.jpg|Gork and Mork
Image:Ork_Fortress.jpg|WE'Z AMUZED BY ENTIRE PUNY 'UMIE IMPERIUM
Image:Pimp_Ork_1.jpg|PompadOrk
Image:Pimp_Ork_2.jpg|EY YOU GITZ WE 'EARD YOU LIKE TA MAKE IT ORKY SO WE ORKYFIED YER ORKY SQUIGOFF SO YOU'Z CAN WAAAGH WHILE YOO'Z WAAAGHIN'
Image:Killskata.jpg|Jet Grind RadiOrk
Image:Gorkken_Morkann_by_Jaekyu.jpg|'OO DA 'ELL DO YA FINK WE IS?!!!
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz_2.jpg|IT'Z TIME FER SUM IKSPERIMINTS
Image:Ork_teaparty.jpg|No reason we can't be civil
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz.jpg|SIANTZ. It works.
Image:Oldboyz.jpg|Oldboyz can Waaagh! too. They just need a nap afterwords.
Image:Orkpoke.jpg|SlowpOrk
Image:Ork_Anatomy.jpg|Inaccurate (but in-universe) depiction of orky gubbinz.
Image:Orkspekta_gubbinz.jpg|Orkspekta Gubbinz iz on da case!
Image:Orkishbeprepared.jpg|<strike>Jeremy Irons is orky, right?</strike> COURZE 'E IZ! E'Z ZO ORKY YOU'Z CAN'T LISTEN TA DA ORIGINAL SONG WIWOUT 'EARING DIS!
Image:Green.jpg|Supagreen
Image:1229746903774.jpg|[[Deff Skwadron]]. Zoggin' bootiful.
Image:Proud'n'Bootiful.jpg
Image:1239594444871.jpg|Transform and WAAAGH! (Holyshit this thing actually transforms.)
Image:1258887158852.jpg| Essentially....this is the best thing ever.
Image:mythbusta.jpg
Image:Ork_love_potion.jpg|Love Can WAAAGH!
Image:Ork with Lego shootah.jpg
Image:Squig_drops.jpg
Image:Eldars_are_orky.jpg|[[Eldar]]z iz da most orky race evar, ya gitz!
Image:Ork Powuz.png|An alternate explanation of how a WAAAGH works.
File:Mork and gork orks warhammer 40k 1334752549083.jpg|Brutally cunning or cunningly brutal?
File:CoDorks.jpg|Only Orks are capable of making something utterly godawful into something completely Orky.
File:SmurfOrks.jpg|Orks, mastaz uf stelff'en
File:Bork_Kube.jpg|A viable Ork space ship design
</gallery></center>

{{Template:Orks-Forces}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}

[[category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Orks]]
[[Category: Xenos]]

Ork

2017-10-03T03:07:20Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Overview */

{{awesome}}
'''''"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"''''' 
:-Da Orks, all da zoggin' time.
[[File:Orks attack3.jpg|600px|thumb|right|'Ere we zoggin' go, let's break sum' 'eads!]]
{{Topquote|War means fighting, and fighting means killing.|Nathan Bedford Forrest}}
{{Topquote|War is the business of barbarians.|Napoleon Bonaparte}}

The '''Orks''' are a race in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Commonly known as "Greenskins" or "the Green Tide", they're probably the most numerous and infestive race in the entire 40K setting, or at least on par with the [[Tyranids]]. They have a ''[[Warhammer Fantasy]]'' equivalent, the only major differences being that fantasy Orks are now called Orruks, and they have a (slightly) lower level of technology relative to the setting.

==Overview==
[[File:Ork_Boy.jpg|200px|thumb|left|[[Ork_Boy|The original Boy]]. This guy has been around since 2nd ed.]]
Orks are the most successful race of the [[Warhammer 40,000 | 41st millennium]]. Despite their entire lack of structured education or training, they seem to be very proficient with all kinds of technology, which they inevitably utilize for their armaments (of which firearms and vehicles are the most common). This is explained away in the fluff by their origins: they were created by the [[Old Ones#Warhammer 40,000|Old Ones]] to be a warrior race called the ''Krork,'' and some of them (the Mekboyz) were genetically hard-wired to have a pre-programmed proficiency for technological engineering. Unfortunately, the Old Ones died before they could finish their little science project; specifically the psychic control mechanism. The ancient Krork were known to have fought the ancient Eldar empire when the latter was at the peak of its power and were implied to have been a considerable threat (a Harlequin in M32 compares the nearly invincible hordes of the Beast as being like children compared to them).
This means that such war machines simply fight everything, everywhere, all the time. In principle, Orks can loot just about anything: the minor greenskins, such as "Grotz" ([[goblin]]s) can construct several working vehicles and machines out of mere scrap (They actually can't but orks believe they can so it happens see: a few paragraphs below).

The Orks derive much of their success from their reproductive process: Orks are, essentially, a psychosensitive hybrid of animal and fungi, not unlike a very complex version of a lichen. One advantage is a redundancy of vital organs, making them able to easily survive events such as head transplants and the fact that it's not easy to kill an individual Ork since they could very well survive injuries that would put a human to a crippled state. In fact there is a [[Valhalla|Valhallan]] folktale about a relative finding an Ork, [[Carnifex#Old_One_Eye|thawing it out only for it to attempt to kill them]]. Another advantage is their ability to grow larger as they win more battles (due to the aforementioned psychosensitivity): an Ork who is winning a fight is enjoying himself, which causes fluctuations in the gestalt field that all Orks generate. These fluctuations supercharge the Ork's physiology, causing the Ork to gain muscle mass and evolve. Consequently, if an Ork should somehow be incapable of fighting (like being imprisoned); they will actually ''devolve'' instead, causing the Ork to become pudgy and lethargic. This was observed during [[Xenology]] where a captive Ork was eventually found morbidly obese when the Inquisitor brought him out for dissection. Hence,the saying: "Orkz iz made fer fighten' and winnin'" applies literally in their case, as the incentives of fighten' and winnin' are what makes or breaks an Ork.

In addition, the fungal part of their physiology allows Orks to reproduce asexually en masse through underground fungal colonies that act as self-sustaining ecosystems. Reproductive spores enter the topsoil, produce fungal mycelia that assimilate base nutrients and could exchange genetic information with other mycelia, putting normal Human sexual reproduction to shame, and eventually produce lesser Orkoids: squigs and Grotz. The Grotz cultivate the protein-rich squigs in preparation for the emergence of the greater Orks, which take longer to develop. All in all, this cycle was designed to fight against the Necrons, which sterilized a planet to its bacteria. Orks can terraform a barren planet into a veritable paradise this way, though what defines "paradise" is a point of discussion; if you like endless wars and tribal conflicts in a mushroom rich planet, it probably is.

Though all Orks discharge reproductive spores throughout their lives, the most significant and numerous emissions occur when an Ork ''is dismembered or dies.'' This means that, for Orks, combat and death are their principal means of reproduction and genetic exchange, and a Space Marine/Guardsman chainsawing/shooting/artillery-bombarding an ork just results in ten thousands, if not millions, of Orks coming for ya, kinda like [[tyranids]]. Nice Job chainsawing it, Space Marine. Due to this, an Ork infestation is incredibly hard to handle if kept unchecked since it won't take them long to get enough boyz to launch a full-scale WAAAGH! to overrun an entire planet and necessitate [[Exterminatus]]. We can use flamethrowers, [[Plasma]], nukes, [[melta]] weapons or anything high-energy to eradicate any spores and fungi, saving the world from the eventual Exterminatus, but then again, efficiency ain't manly n' [[grimdark]] enough compared to good ol' spore-releasing bolters, chainswords and artillery.

Orks only have two popular combat doctrines: [[Choppa|choppy]], which involves giving your opponents a good stomping up close, and [[dakka|shooty]] which involves spitting out as many bullets as possible with an assortment of shootas, and the faster it shoots; the better. That said, a good shoota should also still be able to kill enemies ''while'' putting out a lot of dakka, otherwise it wouldn't be killy (and woe betide an Ork who isn't killy). Because of the Ork's naturally low penchant for accuracy; they typically get around this problem in two methods: the first one is to have a gun that simply shoots bullets as fast as Orkily possible that the wielder ''should'' be able to hit something eventually (strapping two or more shootas together is a crude but effective way to go about this). The second one is to make the gun really killy every time it shoots, like putting a dangerously high-explosive shell in a kannon that can obliterate an entire building in one shot.

Orks are commonly believed to be stupid and superstitious by the other races of the 40k world, but they can also be cunning and quick on the draw. Orks are always ready for a fight and while you can trick them, they quite like the idea of tricking people back.

Their philosophy of DA RED WUNZ GO FASTA is the ultimate truth: because of the aforementioned gestalt field, Ork vehicles painted red will, ultimately, go faster than Ork vehicles that are ''not'' painted red because the Orks believe that Red makes everything go faster:
DIS 'UMIE GIT THINKZ DAT DA RED WUNZ DON'T GO FASTA? DEY DON'T KNOW DAT ANYFING PAINTED RED MAKES IT DA BEST AN' MAKES IT GO FASTAAAA COZ RED IZ BEST! '''*WHAM!*''' NO IT AIN'T, YA BLEEDIN' SQUIG, '''GREEN''' IZ BEST! '''*Boots up the bog*''' SHUT YER GOB, 'E WAS TALKIN' 'BOUT DA TRUKKS, YA GIT!

We can assume that this cuts both ways, with enemies such as the Blood Angels and White Scars gaining the same boost due to their use of red paint.

A hallmark of Orkoid, for lack of a better term, civilization is the WAAAGH!. Pronounced similar to "war" as the "GH" is silent. Always written in all-caps, with at least three "A"s and an exclamation point, the WAAAGH! occurs when an Ork population reaches critical mass and a dominant Warboss appears. A Warboss is an Ork Alpha who is bigger than all the other Orks and have proven his right to lead by either his sheer size or krumpin' all the other big Orks that thinks otherwise. Lesser Orks sense the presence of the Boss in the Orks' psychic field and follow him on what is often described as a combination of pub riot and holy war with a dash of genocide. The WAAAGH! accomplishes two things: it weeds out weaker Orks, keeping the species strong; and it facilitates genetic exchange and reproduction as the Orks die and release spores.

The Ork economy is based on teef, more information on which [[toof|can be found here]].

Ork religious beliefs also help manage their population. Orks believe in two gods, [[Gork]] and [[Mork]]. One is the god of cunning brutality and the other is the god of brutal cunning, the difference being that one hits you when you aren't looking and the other hits you harder when you are. Unfortunately, no one can decide which god is which, nor can the Orks decide which is better: cunning brutality or brutal cunning. These differences of opinion tend to lead to Gigantic Brawls, yet another method of keeping the Ork race strong, warlike and in check. Their division also keeps them perpetually divided, for it has been theorized that if the Orks were to ever unite in one big WAAAGH!, their gestalt reality-warping field might just as well turn omnipotent and crush all opposition

Ork society is effectively the perfect society. Its society is a Kratocracy (A Government ruled by the strongest, fitting for Orks) in maturity as all disputes are settled fairly quickly and painfully (just the way they like it). The economy is steady, as teef grow and rot at a reliable rate. Once a Boss is in charge, mostly everyone falls into place, and the Orks go and [[/tg/ Gets Shit Done|get shit done]].

Also, they probably killed the Imperial Fists. All of them.

Fun fact: The orks use black and white on their shock troops, because it reminds them of the Luna Wolves who destroyed them at Ullanor. The orks do not fear death, but they do fear the Luna Wolves. That is right, Horus traumatized them as a race more than the fucking grim reaper. Note: Why would you fear death, if death usually results in you being reborn into several thousands of yourself? Horus probably swept the spores up post battle and that's why they fear him. Though it's also worth mentioning that Orks harbor a natural fear of Commander Farsight too, whom they know as "Da Red Commit". Though given that the Dawn Blade consumes the souls of those it kills, it's likely that any Orks cut down by Farsight do not reproduce. But then again he was committing Ork genocide long before he found the blade so...

==Ork Teknology==

[[File:Dat zoggin bigmek by majesticchicken.jpg|220px|thumb|left|A perfect example of Ork tech. Powered by make-believe and the essence of love, and patched together with duct tape and chewing gum, the emperor himself has truly never seen finer craftsmanship or innovation.]]

Ork technology works mainly because the Orks think it does. The official explanation is that the subconscious gestalt psychic field that all Orks generate enables their technology to function; the stronger the field, the more unlikely their technological achievements become. In older versions of the fluff, if you hand an Ork a pipe and convince him it's a gun, it WILL shoot bullets. They're like reality-warping Physical "Gods", only weakened by their stupidity and their preference to fight each other instead of uniting, hence why the Imperium still manages to survive in these dark times. In later versions, this has been toned down from "impossible" to merely "unlikely" because GW won't keep anything canon that's that [[derp|badass]]. If Ork technology is held together by spit, duct tape, and hope, then the Orks' psychic field provides the hope.

For example: a Wartrukk with a mob of Orks in it sputters and dies. Da boyz hop out and have a look.
One of da boyz examines the readouts and says to the Nob driver, "Da bloody fing is outta gas!"
Said Nob hits the offending Ork in the face so hard that he falls unconscious. "Look 'ere, I'z da boss, and I sez I filled this fing up righ' before we left!"
The rest of da boyz look at each other, halfway convinced. He ''is'' the biggest Ork among them, and he ''did'' just prove it. Maybe he ''did'' fill it up right before they left. That's the sort of thing one does when one's in charge. Da boyz begin to file back into the Wartrukk, and with a satisfied nod, the Nob gets in and cranks her up. Because da boyz believe that there is plenty of fuel in the truck, one drop does for ten, and the Wartrukk and da boyz arrive just in time for the next fight.

The purpose for this sort of thing is primarily to compensate for the Orks' technological disadvantage by comparison with races like the [[Tau]], [[Necron]]s, or the [[Eldar]]. For example, a meat cleaver in the hands of an Ork can tear through the toughest ceramite armor if the Ork believes it will; for anyone BUT an Ork, a power weapon or the equivalent would be required to do so. This tends to work well for them, but not for the other races of the galaxy: Imperial observers note that Ork weapons generally will not function in the hands of a non-Ork. The only reason the Orks haven't exploited the limits of their generated gestalt field by creating easily made but devastatingly powerful weaponry that could eclipse the weapons of the other races is that they themselves do not know nor understand that they create said field, they believe that their equipment works because that's how the universe wants it to work, not because they themselves are making it work. Which I guess makes it true. This, in turn, makes for an interesting paradox, if orks managed to understand the physical universe as it is, they would not believe their "weapons" work, thus, stripping them of their psychic advantage. If there is a little ounce of disbelief, this would wreck their ability to... believe hard enough so as to manipulate reality.

This said, Orky know-wots DO have a say in stuff that the Orks build. Mekboyz build much of the stuff they do because they have been genetically ingrained with the knowledge on how to make and maintain their technology. While much of their tech runs because they want to, the basis is that the Orks ''can'' actually build a conceptually working frame to get all Orky on. This explains how Orks can build such technological wonders as the Shokk Attack Gun, which propels [[Snotling|Snotlings]] through the Warp and into the armor, tanks, [[Rape|and bodies]] of their enemies. Also, there ''have'' been instances of Ork tech working well in the hands of other races,( at least for a time till it blows up). Be careful though, most Ork players have ''very'' deep-set opinions on how Orky tech works, and [[skub|debates]] between them can generate much [[RAGE]].

Occasionally, if a "tech-caste" gets into control of an Ork society, ridiculous constructions can result. Best example we know about is the Telon Reach Empire and its central stronghold Gorro. A "scrapworld", Gorro was full of things that shouldn't have worked at all (Horus notes that individual bits of architecture inside were just too mad for any human to contemplate) and could withstand the normally planet-killing weapons on the Vengeful Spirit and Emperor's own flagship. The Orks defending it were far more advanced than most (everything from their augmententations to the accuracy of their ships' weapons) and had actually built a plasma reactor to hold their world together. Their function mostly relied on the Orks' gestalt, as the core began to fail as the Emperor, Horus and their respective posses carved through the population. Once the Emperor killed the resident Warboss and psychically burned the rest of the Orks (a preview of what he'd eventually do to Horus) the system went into total meltdown.

===Special Note on Orky Vehicles===
To properly describe what Ork vehicles are like is a difficult prospect, or perhaps an overlooked opportunity. Either way, few actually attempt to clarify in tangible terms what orkish vehicle-makers create.

Let's start with the venerable Trukk. Keep in mind that the standard Ork Boy is a hunched, monstrous, 7-foot-tall Hulk Hogan. Now, the Trukk is essentially an over-sized, skeletal pickup truck, with armored bus tires and a spiked ram-plate for a bumper. The frame is then covered in all manner of inch-thick armor plating, the basic standard in orkish vehicle armor. No Ork vehicle with more than two wheels has an engine smaller than a V8, and the trukk is no exception. A common brag for a trukk owner, "I'z put twelve silenderz in dis 'ere kart" (when not met with the classic "You shoulda sprung fer forteen!" comeback), is similar to a human saying he put an extra two cylinders in his car and overhauled his transmission.

Larger orkish vehicles, like the Big Trakk, often use V14 engines that any human would say belongs on a fishing trawler. Alternatively, some vehicles use turbine engines for extra torque (which is always a good thing) and a higher top speed (also a good thing), or crackling electrical engines (less popular than a good-old combustion engine, but can "accidentally" taze pesky Lootas or enemies who get too close (i.e. rammed)). Big Trakks are literally the size of a heavy tank, but are completely open-topped to provide a chassis for hauling Boyz or insanely big gunz into the fight. They have banks of fat-tired wheels or, most likely, four-plus-foot-wide treads. They have as much torque as a Battle Wagon and fear no infantry.

==Orks and the Emperor==

One theory of the [[Emperor|Emprahs]] continued existence (despite the fact his throne is in serious need of an MOT) is the fact that the Orks BELIEVE it to be so. As any self-respecting Weirdboy will tell you, what da boyz fink will 'appen (see below), so if they think the Emperor is still alive then alive he will be. Probably cos they're not stupid enough to realise he's a corpse more fucked than a Slaaneshi cultist at Ciaphas Cain's place.. 'ANG ON A SECOND.. I FINK DEY BE MAKIN FUN OF US...WELL.....MAYBE WE OUTTA GO STOMP SUM HUMIES! (thas rite, the "chaos boys" are messing with you orks, go stomp them in the name of the Emp... For the WAAAGGGHH!. aehm..)

==Special Groups of Orks==
Apart from the regular Boyz, there are several groups of Orks who specialize in a specific task or doctrine. Called Oddboys (if they are relatively normal when fighting time rolls around) or Wyrdboys (when they shoot lighting out of their eyes, gunz or eye-gunz). The most common ones are:

===[[Oddboys|Oddboyz]]===
This category is filled with Orks who express genetic predispositions to certain tasks. Here are your Mekboys (engineers), Painboys (doctors), Weirdboys (psykers), Madboyz (psychos), Slaverz (take care of grots, snotlings and slaves), [[Dorfs|Brewerz]] (makers of alcohol; retconned), [[Noise Marines|Rockaz]] (musicians; also retconned), and Shoutaz (communications experts).

====Kult of Speed====

[[File:Kult o speed by majesticchicken.jpg|250px|thumb|right|'''WAAAAAAAAGHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''']]

[[Speed freeks]] who commonly go into the battlefield on bikes hyped up on dakka and flashy bitz, as their name suggests, they'z like goin' faster dan fast. On tabletop, they're okay, since they're really shooty for Orks and fairly cheap. These guys field the classic Mobile Ork Army, which causes loads of [[Butthurt]] and [[Rage]] when people go up against them. Just look out for Lascannons.
*'''[[Deff Skwadron | Flyboys]]''' - Crazed pilots that like fast vehicles, death defying stunts, and lots of dakka. The better pilots, fighta aces, are held in great esteem only by other flyboys and tend to give themselves crazy-cool nicknames.

====[[Burna Boyz | Burna boyz]]====
Burna boyz are similar to standard orks in ability, possessing no unique qualities except every one of them being a pyromaniac. These boys are the type who would burn their own mother alive if she tried to stop them from playing with matches, even though Orks technically don't have moms. As such, they regularly burn their own comrades for the hell of it (to see them 'do da burny dance'). Their obsession with fire is of course, genetically coded, and this has a particular disadvantage during periods of time where stealth is of the essence. In fact, this pyromania coupled with the rate of accidental deaths among Orks may explain why Burna boyz aren't more common; after all, an Ork that accidentally burns himself to death wouldn't be able to spread his spores so easily. On a more lighthearted note, they are also quite fond of fungus cigars! GREEN IZ BEST

====[[Mekboy|Mekboys]]====
Meks are Orks who are capable of making the ramshackle yet effective weapons and vehicles the Orks use. They're primarily the ones who makes the warband's wagons, restore salvaged vehicles, and create/modify weapons. An Ork who lead bands of Mekboys is called a "Big Mek", and is a bitch to kill on tabletop if he's kitted out. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZQdaEFa_60 Five-up cover saves for everyone!] 'Ho says we aint smart 'n' such! Only fing betta den an ork is an ork wif a good bit of technorkology 

====[[Tankbustas]]====
Many Orks enjoy the odd explosion. These guys like that so much that they decided what better way to get their kicks than to get into a nice squad of 5-15 boys and try blowing tanks sky high with their rokkits. They also train Squigs to run into tanks while strapped to the hilt with explosives. And if neither of that works, run into close-combat and strike the tank with a rokkit attached to a metal stick. They get so high off this that they will enter the broken vehicle, eat any survivors, and drink the motor oil in a ritual act known as "GETTIN' TANKED!" 

====[[Lootas]]====
Lootas are Orks who are obsessed with pimping out their shootas by salvaging bitz from their enemies. Lootas are critically important to Orkish mechanical industry, because they head salvage operations and assist Meks where Grots can't. They're also the ones who loot wrecked tanks and vehicles after a battle to use as Looted Wagons, with the help of Mekboys, which means Orks can remobilize rapidly, and scale up to match tank-driving foes. <strike>When not fighting or looting, Lootaboyz are a menace to Orky society, stealing, swindling, making trouble, and being the reason other Boyz can't have nice things.</strike> WOT?! YIZ SAYIN' DERE'S TIME WHEN DA ORKZ AIN'T FOIGHTIN' OR LOOTIN'?! I OUTTA GIVE YA A STAMP!!!

====[[Flash Gitz]]====
<strike> DA PIMPIEST ORK IZ DA BESTEST ORK!!!!!!</strike> Dat is why dey arrogant Gits. They are another group of shoota-obsessed Orks known as "Flash Gitz"; rich, obnoxious Bad Moonz gits who buy powerful weapons and upgrades using their large stockpiles of [[toof|teef]]. They love nothing more than showing off their wealth and (supposedly associated) martial power. They do things like wearing ''FABOLOUS'' clothing, sporting huge banners declaring their awesomeness (shogun-style), and plating everything they have in gold, silver, platinum, or any other shiny metal they have at hand (although gold is preferred). Goldz iz da bestest. Flash Gitz boast the shootiest kustom shootaz in all of orkdom, sometimes known as "snazzgunz", which makes them an invaluable asset to their clan. Conversely, due to their boasting and attitude problems they often alienate pretty much every other Ork they work with, and are prone to getting their arrogant asses booted out of their group the moment they become less useful than annoying.

====[[Freebooterz]]====
Orks who raid and pillage the galaxy as MOTHERFUCKING PIRATES. And just to add to their awesomeness, they'll usually dress and/or speak like pirates. (W)AAARG! Well-known individuals include Kaptins Badrukk and Bludflagg.

====[[Ork Kommando|Kommandos]]====
Orks who managed to figure out that charging a gunline isn't always the best option, so dey'z da sneakiest of da Orks. They typically paint themselves purple, which Orks believe is the sneakiest color (and because Orks are Orks, purple does in fact make them harder to see ... don't ask how the fuck that one works, it just does Hav you eva seen a purpul ork? Course not, dey's too sneaky . Kommandos rely on stealth tactics rather than balls-out firepower, and achieve this by using crude camouflage techniques, Speshul Forces equipment such as NVGs, various types of grenades, and all those other gubbins that makes them all sneaky. The concept of Orks using tactics beyond drowning their enemies in corpses and bullets is so completely out there that a lot of Imperial commanders [[Skaven|do not believe that Kommandos actually exist]], but nobody laughed when a Kommando unit suddenly [[Blood Ravens|hi-jacked]] a unit of 3 [[Deathstrike Missile Launcher]]s inside a Mordian regiment's lines drove 1 to the front and proceeded to launch it at the their front lines, killing thousands, including a [[Baneblade]] (Except for the Orks, who laughed their faces off as this was happening). As the Kommandos ran off with the remaining one and 2 extra missiles.

Kommandos are typically distrusted by Orks due to their chosen battle strategy. They view as sneaking about rather than getting to a fight, right and proppa as "Muckin' about". The enjoyment of the color purple among them is also considered right strange. As there aint no such thing as a purple ork!

In practice, all of this boils down to a fairly simple difference in tactics. Whereas a normal Ork Boy will see the enemy and immediately [[WAAAGH|shout]], run up to him, and smash him in the head, a Kommando will see the enemy, hide behind a nearby [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|bush]]/[[Dorf|barrel]]/[[Creed|lamp-post]] and wait for the enemy to get close like 5 feet to 2 meters, THEN shout, run up to him, and smash him in the head.

An ork asked about Kommando groups. "I dinna see anyfing... Do you?"

====Feral Orks====
Hidden away in GW fluff are these guys. These guys are what happens after a WAAAGH! has left your planet. They crop up in wildernesses and form tribes. They don't have technology (like shootas) or any kind of mekboys or even good resources to build junk. They are roughly on par with your [[Warhammer Fantasy|Fantasy]] Orks, so you can just use your Fantasy army in 40k if you can fluff your army right. Not like it matters, it's the same tactic either game. They tend to have Grots, Kommandos and Weirdboys coming out of their ears, and love to ride big squigs. If you don't prune them back to the forest well enough, they might sic buttloads of squiggoths on you. Snakebites love these guys, and if space-born Orks pick them up, Feral Orks usually become Snakebites anyway.

They breed a special kind of Oddboy, the Pigdok, who is a combination of a Mek and a Dok, but excels at neither. They do surgical procedures like a stereotypical medicine man, wander around covered in robes and talismans given to them by the Weirdboy Shamans, and head the construction of things like ballistas and catapults, all the way up to magical stompy Idols and the [[Titans_40k#Orky_Titans|Steam Gargant]].

====[[Weirdboy | Weirdboyz]]====
Weirdboyz are Orks who are active psykers. All Orks are passive psykers, emitting their gestalt field, but Weirdboyz are the only ones who can decide they're gonna blow another Ork's face off with a mean look and a lightning bolt (well, the only Orks who can decide to do it and it'll happen). They tend to be crazy and can blow up if they're not careful. Even when they are careful. Sometimes blowing up is the preferred/expected option for a Weirdboy.

==Retcons==
All following Ork Oddboys have been retconned, at least by GW's word. They live on in our hearts (and custom-models) as:

===Rokkas===
[[Rogue Trader]] Orks with a penchant for hard rock, metal, leather armor, and overgrown hair squigs. While still technically retconned, they do seem to keep cropping up in the fluff. Also known as Goff Rokkas, these boyz tend to come out of the Goffs exclusively, but it isn't completely unknown for other Clans to spit out one of these crazy green "musicians". They play machine gun guitars and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_wdRy7x4Sc PARTY 'ARD!!!]
It should be noted that Rokkas were invented in the Eighties, so they don't play things like Death Metal as much as they do generic Metal, 80's Metal, electric guitar ballads, and Hard Rock. It should also be noted that they are still available on Games Workshop's site. PARTY ON!
===Shoutas===
These orks have over-developed lungs and super-strong vocal cords so that they can [[Derp|yell really loud.]] Yes, you heard me right. They yell across Gargant-tops and over battlefield din to act as a telecommunications array. <strike>See, not all things that were retconned were too good to last.</strike> '''SHUDDUP STOOPID HUMIE, WHUT DO YOU KNOW?!?!?! SHOUTAS IZ DA BEST!!!!!!!'''

'''YOU'Z CALL DAT SHOUTIN'? YOU'Z AIN'T A REEL SHOUTA, YA GIT!'''


'''A REAL SHOUTA'''

'''DROWNS OUT DA'''

'''COMPUTISHUN!'''

'''I Konkur!'''


'''I'z prefur sneekin' up to some hummie and shoutin' in iz ear from reel gut close.'''


Anyone caught messing with this section again will get their shit handed to them. Do you know how fucking hard it is to make sure this shit is right? I can't do this AND dodge those fucking Orks. I'm a janitor, not a FUCKING NINJA!

'''See, iffin' you'z had sum of dat purpley paint, dis wouldn' be a problem now, would it?'''

''' 'e got youz good, e' did. aneewayz da squigs ated da inturn again. Git ta cleenen dat wod ya.'''

===Brewerz===
Again, not technically retconned, but never mentioned after about 3rd Edition. Brewerz, or Brewer Boyz function much like Mekboys or Mad Doks do, knowing the inns and outs of brewing through genetically innherited inntuition. They make alcohol out of squigs. Made everything from beers to malts to meads to liquors to scotches. Yes, certain squigs can be made into scotch. No, no grains are involved in the process. No, they've never don this in Scotland. No, you may not question this.
SQUIGGIE WALKER - RED LABEL! COS IT ZOGZ YOU IN DA BRAIN FASTA!
''Eend out of mashrooms too booss!'' 
Basically, they brew babies into beer sometimes. 
 
<strike>'''HERESY, ORK HERESY, ANY IMPERIAL CITIZENS WILL BE MURDERED ON SIGHT AFTER READING THIS.'''</strike>''' *WHAM* OY BOSS, DEM HUMIES IZ TRYN'A TAKE AWAYZ OUR SQUIG JUICE!
'''

''' Zoggin DAMN'IT! NOT AGAIN!'''

===Female Orks===

MY EYES!!!! THEY BURN!!!

Vaguely referenced in older fluff and glimpsed during Blood Bowl, sacrificed because nobody wants to see those canonized saggy Ork tits (Except [[/d/]]), and fucking whores (and ye mum). Suffice to say, some drawfags will still draw them and several on [[/tg/]] will doubtlessly [[Faptau|fap]] to it. Considering how many random mutations are seen amongst the Orks, the possibility is [[Meme|more likely than you'd think]]. In normal canon, Orks are asexual, popping out of fungal growths in the ground...

...but in the older fluff, when the Orks were basically Fantasy Orcs in space, there ''were'' female orks. Later fluff [[retcon]]ned this, so that in later parts of their life cycle Orks would temporarily develop sexual characteristics and go bang one another. For the sake of Games Workshop's writers' self-respect, this too was also retconned. And all but the drawfags are happy for that. All in all though, the idea of female orks or goblinoids of any sort is much more readily accepted across most genres involving greenskins of any sort, so the decision may more likely have been to make the Orks dependent on getting blown up to repopulate along with being hardlined for blockbuster style war (though, as with all evolution, this is mutable to change, as there are Orks like the Blood Axes who understand ideas like trading with da' humies', peace, and using functional armor and weapons that don't stop working just because da' mob' believes dey are useless. SEE, HUMIES ARE GUD' F'R SOME FINGS BUT NOT EVERY FING!).

 Oi'm twalf an' wots dis? 

===Brain Boyz===
Brain Boyz is how the Orks call the Old Ones. The retcon is that the Orks' origin has shifted around a few times, such as the Brain Boyz being the ancestors of the Snotlings (although the Orks still believe that, but it's no longer the official explanation it was in Rogue Trader).

(Dat'z still canon! Codex 7th ED 2014 and we'z seen it in the one before dat un!!!! What shrooms did ya zoggin' gits eat?!)

==Ork Klanz==
Oi, listen up ya gits. Dere's six diverant majah clanz of Ork, and dey's all right 'ard. Da clanz waz made way back by [[The Beast|the biggest, baddest warboss dere eva waz]], startin' out as his specialist boyz before dey became dey own klanz.

<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Dere's da '''Snakebites''', and dey'z a buncha fundie gits what won't use any teknowlogy more complicated den a [[choppa]] an' warpaint. Anytime dere's a world dat a WAAAAAGH smashed up, it gets full o' fundie boyz. When we pick em up, dey run off ta da Snakebites anyway instead o' learnin how ta fight propa. But dey got squiggoths, an' every WAAAAGH needs really big killy tings. Snakebites wear brown, like a buncha zoggin' Amish folk.
* Da '''Bad Moonz''', what gotz lotsa teef 'cause dey grow faster den any other orks, so dey'z a buncha rich gits. 'at meanz dat dey's got da best squigs and dakka, but since dey'z such lazy gits, dey's [[Tau|no good at choppin' an' stompin']], so other orks can always just find a Bad Moon and stomp his teef out. Bad Moonz wear Yella, da color a big booms and shiny bits.
* '''Goffs''' are a buncha gloomy gits what don't ever have any fun and don't give a grot's toss about dakka, but dey'z somma da 'ardest of all da orks. [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]] himself wuz a Goff. Dats why he's so big, 'ard, an mean. Goffs wear black, da color a bein' DED 'ARD!
* Da '''Evil Sunz''''re all part a da Kult a Speed, and dey've got da most Meks, so dey're always muckin' about with teknowlogical equipment an speedy karts. Deyz big believas in da color red, cuz RED 'UNZ GO FASTA!
* '''Deffskullz''' are a buncha teevin', lootin' gits what'll grab anyfing <del>what's not nailed</del> if it's nailed down they'll loot the nails den loot da fing that was nailed down an' make it orky. [[Looted|Anyfing]]. Even in da middle of a scrap. Da mekz loves em, though, cuz nobody'z got more bitz and gubbinz than a Deffskull Loota. Deffskullz all seemz ta have some kinda technikal know-wotz, dough. Deffskullz wear da color Blue, cuz Blue's a lucky color.
* And, last of all but not least, dere's da '''Blud Axez'''. Dey're da ones what've been hangin' around da stinkin' humies fer ages too long, and gone and developed all sorts a un-orky tings like ''taktiks'' an' ''recownasense'' an' ''camo'flage'' an worse of all da magikal and feared cry of ''retreat''. Dey've even got a sayin' bout it: ''"If we runs for it, it don't count as losing, cuz we can also come back for anuvver go, see?"'' Dey'z mocked as cowardly gits by most of da boyz, but cause dey be dead cunning dey'z da main source of da best warbosses in WAAAAAAAGH! time (Next ta Da Prophet him self). An' its '''alwayz''' WAAAAAAAGH! time, ya git! Blud Axez wear cammerflage, but at least they paint it nice an' bright so's you can see'em coming.

Later, when da humies learned dat der was six Beasts, and each lead a lejun o Boyz, dey started tinking dat each o da Clanz were da rem-re-leftovers o each Beast's lejun.</ul>

===Ork Non-Klanz===
<ul style='color:green;font-size:100%'>
* Den dere's da '''[[Freebooterz|Freebootaz]]''', boyz wut left deir klan ta become merks an' piratz an' dat, Freebooterz iz often kicked o' deir klan for likin' sumtin' dat izn't violence more dan violence, like [[Kaptin Badrukk]] (teef), [[Wazdakka Gutsmek]] (goin' fast), or [[Zodgrod Wortsnagga]] (snotlings), but some leave o' deir own accord for similar reasons, like [[Kaptin Bluddflagg]] (loot). Freebootaz will even work for stupid 'umies for shinies (or hats), though dat don't mean dey won't turn 'round an 'ave a go at dem too.
* '''Feral Orkz''' are like Snakebites, but coz dey don't have a choice, what with not 'avin' access to Ork kulture seein' 'az dey don't have space travel. Often join the Snakebites as soon as dey'z recruited by a WAAAAAAGH.
* '''Speed Freekz''' is what you call da members o' da '''Kult o' Speed''', a klub any Ork what likes goin' fast a lot can join, not just da Evil Sunz.
</ul>

==Ork Daily Life==

[[File:Wh40k online concept.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Your average Ork home. Quite cozy when it comes down to it, really.]]

Morning.
GET UP! Doesn't matter when . But usually in the mid morning, -unless a nob kicks him in the face cause he is late for something, which he usually is. Next eat. Either the breakfast his pet grot brings him or the grot it self. Orks dont much care it all tastes the same dipped in mud and fried on a stick chased with some fungus beer.
Hit the drops. Yes the communal act of using the local bog. Literally. He might get a scar on his duff to show off if the Squigs are feisty that morning. Then swagger about and try to find new things to kill. Or new ways to kill things. This lasts till about noon.

Noon
LUNCH! Fungus rums and beers. Squig pies and mushroom fries. Plenty of fights break out at lunch usually from a loota stealing another Orks 'sweet-squig' dessert. Or some nob mouths off when drunk. Either way LUNCH! Next nap time/ wrekreation. Most Orks having spent a very busy day trying to think up new ways to kill or new things to kill will take a nap. Usually the average rank and file lad who has nothing better to do. It is around now that the more specialized Orkoids shall gather in their respective mobs and set about spending afternoon and early evening doing what they do best. Be it practicing blowing crap up if tankbustaz. Racing around the camp as speed freaks. Helping the meks if lootas or burnas. <strike>Hiding in plain sight if kommand-</strike> Move along, nofink to see 'ere.

Evening
WORK TIME! The boss or local big mek or Warp'ead bullies most every one around the camp center and gets up on his WAAAGH!!! Banner-tower and starts to bark out orders on what they will attack that night, or where they will hit to steal material to build his next projekt, or give a flashy psycho-pyrotectic light show during a prophetic chant. (though sometimes if no one got up till half past 5 they plan it during the early morning.) Depending on the Clan majority this can be as simple as "Smash dis!" (A goff) to "Ok Dis team needs ta be 'ere right when da rockets hit Or we wont-" <strike>(Yeah Blood axes dont know when to shut up) </strike> '''*THUMP*''' ZOGGIN' 'Umiez.

Midnight
DA ORKING HOUR! Do what was stated in the evening until they get tired and go home to bed. It don't count as failing cause they will try again tomorrow. Or pull it off and party all night (to the dismay of the defeated) until they pass out.

Even the Daily Life of the Ork is a miniature WAAAGH!!!

==Reasons it Rokks to be an Ork==
# We'z gotz a shiney new 7th ork-dition Codex-fingy!
# We'z da biggest an' da strongest.
# We'z made fer fightin' an' winnin'.
# We'z got more boyz dan anyone else.
# All an ork eva wantz to do fo'eva iz to keep fightin', winnin', an' lootin'.
# Dem mekboyz can loot anyfing an I mean [[Looted_Emperor|ANYFING]]!!
++''{{BLAM| Previous record has been made of note to Ordo Xenos for immediate actions to be taken. The Emperor Protects}}''++

Ummm, wot woz dat? Zog, I've lost count of da resuns for being an Ork!
# We'z already know everythin' wotz wort' learnin'.
# We'z da 2nd least [[grimdark]] race in da galaxy. BUT DA BEZT GREENDARK hur hur hur!
# Da painboyz can fix ya up right'n proppa, even if yer bloody 'ead'z chopped off.
# We'z got da shiniest bitz, or we'z 'bout to krump da git dat does.
# The longa ya fite, the bigga and stronga ya get.
# Teef's legal tenda. Punchin' sum git in da face getz youz a day'z meal.
# If da mekboy can finks it, he can build it.
# An' if he sayz it workz, he's roight.
# We'z da orkz an' dey iz not.
# Dem 'umiez and marine boyz screamin' "FER DA EMPRER", an dem spikey boys yellin' "BLOOD FO' DA BLOOD GOD!" is nofin' kompared to "WAAAAAAAAAGH!"
# Da red wunz will '''alwayz''' go fasta.
# Purple iz da sneekiest colah.
# Yello' iz da 'splodiest colah.
# Blu iz da lukiest colah.
# Green iz da orkiest colah.
# I haz a hole in me chest an' a choppa stuck to me leg? Didn' notice it while I wuz krumpin dem spiky boyz.
# Unlike dem 'umiez, greyskins, an' panzees, anyone can be a warboss usin' nofin' more den a choppa an' a litl bit o' dakka.
# Even if all da boyz get krump'd, we'z still win. Da only way da gits can zog us off is by [[Exterminatus|dakkain' da 'ole bludy planet]].
# You'z can trade in yer dakka fer moah choppa, or vice versah, and you iz still Orky enuff.
# You'z kan build an army of serial [[METAL BOXES|bawkses]] an' duk' tape an' maybe a bit o' spikez an' bitz and still look reel smart an' orky.
# Rolling a double six with Shokk Attack Gun.
# Some Git shootz 90% of Your squad, but the Nob smackz one boy on the 'ead and everybody iz doing good.
# You'z kan talk legally like a retard.
# Giving da boyz a frying pan on the 'ead and a fender on the shoulda makes dem 'arder.
# Putting dem in a fridge makez dem mega'ard.
# You'z kan use every armiez gunz, but none kan use Yourz.
# If you die you get proppa afterlife wiz lotta fighnin' an' booze, instead of being raped by laffin' daemons for eternity.
# You WILL die of laffin' if You play orkz.
# Eiff Edishun iz da horde edishun! We'z can field more boyz dan dem 'humies or bug fingies!
# Lastly, an' most importantly, da mane reezun it rokkz ta be an Ork iz dis:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


==Reasons it sucks to be an Ork==
# You're the one species that is actually dumber than humanity. <strike>{{BLAM|HERESY!}}</strike> *THUMP* LOK BOSS I GOT MEH WUN UH DEM UMIES!!!!
# Your war cry "WAAAGH!" is overused by everyone. LIEK IF "FOR DA EMPRAH!!!" IZN'T OVERUZZED AZ 'ELL
# No matter how hard you try, you will never achieve enough dakka... and if you did, it'd end up destroying you too. A TRAGGADY, DAT IS!
# Despite having some awesome-looking guns, you can't shoot things for shit. Your standard Ballistic Skill is 2 (which means at best hitting things on a 5+), and when you ''do'' shoot somebody successfully it's probably due to sheer volume of bullets more than anything else. YOU SAY DAT LOIKE IT'S A FUKKEN BAD THING! 
# Your sole purpose in stories is to distract the Space Marines and the Imperial Guard from more dangerous threats like Chaos, Tyranids or Necrons. BUT WE'Z GET TA HAVE A REAL GREAT FIGHT WHILEZ BEIN' A DISTRAKSHUN. SO IT'Z STILL ALL GOOD. ALSO HAV YOU EVEN READ DA BEAST ARISES WE ZOG DEM HUMMIES UP. 
# Your army falls apart at the seams the minute your Warboss dies. NAH, WE'S JUST GOT TA FIGURA' OUT WHUZ IN CHARGE NEXT, DAN WE COMES BACK AROUND TA FUMP EM AGAIN! <strike> Hiss! By that time we've NOMNOMNOMNOM'D on you </strike> '''*CRUNCH*''' ANUDDA 'EAD FER ME POINTY STIKK!
# Anytime you use anything, from your smallest pistol to your [[Battlefleet Gothic|largest space ship]], you have the same chances of surviving its use as a grot snuggling an overcharged standard issue Imperial [[Plasma Weapons|Plasma Gun]]. Offset by the fact you can survive 4th degree burns, decapitation, being septic, and acquiring space tetanus. OY, DOK. WUTZ DIS TETANATHINGY? CAN WE'Z SQUISH ET?
# In Second Ed there was an alarming risk that your entire army might die before the battle actually started because almost no Ork units had sealed armour. ORKZ DUN' NEED ARMER! NOT WEN ORKZ GOT DAKKA!! SMASH DEM GITS WITOUT'IT!
# You have a mushroom and two spore pods dangling between your legs, and Kroot find it a delicacy. <strike> GOOD MEAT BAKKAWW! </strike> *THUMP* I DUNNO WUT DIS DUN SAID BUT IT URT ME EYES SO I KRUMPED IT!!!!
# You're part of [[Squad broken]]. WELL, UH... ZOGGIT. WE GOT NUFFIN CLEVA TA SAY BOUT DAT. MAYBE SUMFING ABOUT IT BEING MADE BY DEM NECKBEARDED GROTZ WIV DA FEDORAZ AN STUFF
# <strike>You haven't had a new codex since 4th edition. And it's starting to show.</strike> SHUT IT YA GIT, WE'ZE DA ORKS AND YOU'Z A BUNCH O PANSY GITS! B'SIDES, WE IZ GOING TA GET NEW CODEX DIS 6TH ED! OI BOSS WEZ GOT A SEVENF EDISHUN CODEX BEFORE THE PANSY GITS DID! N NOW WE'Z GOTZ A SHINEY NEW 7 ORK-DITION CODEX-FINGY! 
# <strike>There is a slight chance that [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is going to write 6th edition codex. If so, in the next codex you'll read something like this: "The Orks insatiable thirst for violence is, really, just a way of coping with the angst they feel that no matter what they do, they will never be Ultramarines."</strike> WHO KEEPS LETTIN' DEZ' HUMIES IN 'ERE! WE'Z BLOODY INFESTED! GET DA BURNAZ! <strike>(Also [[Matt Ward|Mattard]] is apparently too busy with pestering Forge world for more Space marine resin collections to be converted into plastic for the main product line to be bothered with our humble bumbling green skins.)</strike> Tipakill 'umie bee'ayevyohr dat iz. Alwayz ignorin' da orky fingz in loif an' only payin' attentchuhn to zoggin' 'umie fingz. Downroight shaymfol dat iz. Da onlee REEL orky 'umie dere iz iz dat Kaptuhn Yarik; Gork - or eh, iz it Mork? - bless 'iz 'eart. (Trust us greenskin, Matt Ward ignoring you is a good thing.) But waznt 'e fired fur being an annoying grot? I GOT DA BURNAZ!! WE HAVIN A BBQ?? MAKE MINE CRISPY AN DUN FORGET DA EXTRA SQUIG SAUCE
# Orks do not draw psychic power from the [[Warp]], [[Derp|but still take Perils of the Warp]]. DEM WEIRDBOY GITZ JUST ORK'D TOO 'ARD!
# <strike>if dere ain't any Stormboyz, yer army k'n get krumped by da Blu Gitz real easy like. No not [[Ultramarines|DEM]] blue gits The [[Tau|udda ones]] wif da nice dakka and puny stompas.</strike>'''*CRUNCH*''' OI! WHO LET DA GROT DO DA TALKIN?! WE JUS' SMASH DEM BLUEBOYZ WIT 'ARE CHOPPAS WHEN WE GET CLOSE, AN' IF DAT DON'T WORK WE JUST MATCH DERE AMOUNT OF DAKKA WIT SOME PRETTY KILLY SHOOTAS. UNLESS DEY SEND DA RED COMMIT THO... GOOD FING DEY GOT RID OF HIM!
# Even doh dere is [[Yarrick|wun humie]] dat foights good and ard and iz real ded killy, ee iz da greatest enemy ov da Orkz. *THUNK* DA GREATEST ENNEMY OF DA ORKS IZ DA RED COMMIT! DAT BLUE BOY'S STOMPA IS FREE TIMES FASTA DAN A REGULAR WUN!
# <strike>You probably dont have a penis. You can piss on Space Marines, only to die a short while later.</strike> IZ DAT BAD FING? OOMIEZ SAYZ DAT IT VERY HURTZ WHEN WE 'IT EM IN IT? Wait... Dat what dey call the mushroom'n'spore pods? Poor suckas! Dey have PAIN nerves down dat way? No WONDER dey scream so bad when we kick em there. 
#<strike>Even (some) vegetarians will eat you</strike> NOT IF WE EAT DEM FIRST! HAH! 
# You all piss yourselves at the very mention of the name of a certain [[Farsight|Red Armored Swordsman]]. WE'Z JUST BE SO EXCITED CAUSE DAT BLUE-BOY ACTUALLY PUTS UP A FIGHT! More so than the Orks did against an old Ethereal with a pointed stick! *KRUMP* SHUT IT YA GREAT LANKY BLUE GROT 

== See Also ==
* [[Grot]]
* [[Snotling]]
* [[The Beast]]
* [[The War of The Beast]]
* [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]]
* [[Gorgutz_%27Ead_%27Unter|Warboss Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter]]
* [[Deffboss]]
* [[WAAAGH]]
* [["Da Tragedy of Hamlet, boss of Denmark" by Shake-da-boss-pole]]
* [[Makbeff]]
* [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Orks(7E)|Tactics/Orks]]
* [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Orks/Dred_List|Dreadnought List]]
* [[Codex Orks: Space Odin Edition]]
* [[Ork Gunz]]
* [[Gargant]]
* [[Stompa]]
* [[Deff Skwadron]]
* [[Scraplootas]]
* [[Da Chopshop]]
* [[Ork Trek]]
* [[Ironjawz]] for one of their Age of Sigmar counterparts.
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whxcq4I0kAo Da Ork Song]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXCLtD5batc Dem Ork Boyz Song]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Ork flowchart.png|WAAAAGH flowchart
Image:WAAAAGH.jpg|WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Image:Ork_WTF_is_this.jpg|WOT'Z DAT
Image:Orks_are_made_4_rokkin.jpg|ORKZ IZ DA ROKKINEST
Image:WOT_DA_ZOG.jpg|DA PAINBOSS IZ GONNA WANT TA LOOK AT DIS WOTEVA IT IS
Image:Disguise_1.jpg|Orks are the best at disguises
Image:Disguise_2.jpg|Stoopid [[beakie|beakies]]
Image:Disguise_3.jpg|Weeabork
Image:Orktaku.jpg|A different sort of Weeabork
Image:Samurork4.jpg|The truest of Weeaborks
Image:Da_warboss_Lincoln.jpg|The assassination of warboss Lincoln.
Image:GorknMork.jpg|Gork and Mork
Image:Ork_Fortress.jpg|WE'Z AMUZED BY ENTIRE PUNY 'UMIE IMPERIUM
Image:Pimp_Ork_1.jpg|PompadOrk
Image:Pimp_Ork_2.jpg|EY YOU GITZ WE 'EARD YOU LIKE TA MAKE IT ORKY SO WE ORKYFIED YER ORKY SQUIGOFF SO YOU'Z CAN WAAAGH WHILE YOO'Z WAAAGHIN'
Image:Killskata.jpg|Jet Grind RadiOrk
Image:Gorkken_Morkann_by_Jaekyu.jpg|'OO DA 'ELL DO YA FINK WE IS?!!!
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz_2.jpg|IT'Z TIME FER SUM IKSPERIMINTS
Image:Ork_teaparty.jpg|No reason we can't be civil
Image:Finking_wiz_siantz.jpg|SIANTZ. It works.
Image:Oldboyz.jpg|Oldboyz can Waaagh! too. They just need a nap afterwords.
Image:Orkpoke.jpg|SlowpOrk
Image:Ork_Anatomy.jpg|Inaccurate (but in-universe) depiction of orky gubbinz.
Image:Orkspekta_gubbinz.jpg|Orkspekta Gubbinz iz on da case!
Image:Orkishbeprepared.jpg|<strike>Jeremy Irons is orky, right?</strike> COURZE 'E IZ! E'Z ZO ORKY YOU'Z CAN'T LISTEN TA DA ORIGINAL SONG WIWOUT 'EARING DIS!
Image:Green.jpg|Supagreen
Image:1229746903774.jpg|[[Deff Skwadron]]. Zoggin' bootiful.
Image:Proud'n'Bootiful.jpg
Image:1239594444871.jpg|Transform and WAAAGH! (Holyshit this thing actually transforms.)
Image:1258887158852.jpg| Essentially....this is the best thing ever.
Image:mythbusta.jpg
Image:Ork_love_potion.jpg|Love Can WAAAGH!
Image:Ork with Lego shootah.jpg
Image:Squig_drops.jpg
Image:Eldars_are_orky.jpg|[[Eldar]]z iz da most orky race evar, ya gitz!
Image:Ork Powuz.png|An alternate explanation of how a WAAAGH works.
File:Mork and gork orks warhammer 40k 1334752549083.jpg|Brutally cunning or cunningly brutal?
File:CoDorks.jpg|Only Orks are capable of making something utterly godawful into something completely Orky.
File:SmurfOrks.jpg|Orks, mastaz uf stelff'en
File:Bork_Kube.jpg|A viable Ork space ship design
</gallery></center>

{{Template:Orks-Forces}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}

[[category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Orks]]
[[Category: Xenos]]

Stubber

2017-09-30T05:35:36Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Ogryn Ripper */

Stubbers, or stub guns, are weapons from as early as M2, but mostly 20th century [[Firearm|gun]]s (our times) in the 41st millennium. Needless to say, most haven't aged very well when you consider how powerful everything else is. The only thing that they have going for them is they are cheap, they can still kill an unarmored humanoid target, and are durable as hell and depending on its mechanics and care, can be and have been in use SINCE M2. They are incredibly weak against much of the universe's people - in fact, they are the only thing that a [[Imperial_Guard|Guardsman's]] paper armor will reliably stop. This should give you an indication of exactly how weak they are. Of course this is for anything below the Stub Rifle, anything above it can guarantee to fuck up your [[Space Marine]] quite well. But just remember - every dog has their day. Stub guns are actually capable of downing Terminators if the unlucky marine rolls a 1.

==Variants==
[[File:Inq1-blackpowder-pistol.jpg|200px|rght|thumb|When you really want to go back to the point on making [[Orks]] look advanced. The Flintlock Pistol is the tool for you.]]

===Flintlock Pistol===

Wooo boy. If you want to role play as a 18th century Pirate, then the Flintlock Pistol is for you. These simple black powder weapons can take many forms, from finely crafted pistols constructed for the nobles of low-tech worlds to simple pipe and powder affairs used by underhive scum. They are uncommon and are famous for their low battle characteristics but those which do exist are sometimes very heavily ornamented and carried by high ranking officers mainly as decoration.

Of course, whilst you may scoff at the idea of going into battle filled with tanks and space ships with a 18th century gun, do take note that the more master-crafted versions could be quite deceptively deadly by virtue of incorporating some form of advanced tech into, seemingly, primitive and "backward" design. For example, such constructs could be capable of holding plasma-ammunitions that can crack open power armor in a single shot. So laugh at your own peril.

===Musket===
[[File:Rb1-73-musket.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Musket, basically the Flintlock's older brother.]]

Muskets are primitive firearms, utilizing explosive powder and a crude firing mechanism to propel a lead ball. Like the Flintlock Pistol, these crude devices can only fire once before reloading and prone to failure. Slow, inaccurate and unreliable, they are only made and used on backwards planets. However, they are extremely easy to construct and maintain even from scrap-parts and with absolute minimum of skill and knowledge about firearm's operation. For this reason they are know to be quite popular among outlaw members of Hive societies such as the Ratskins and Scalies of the Necromundan underhive. The [[Planetary Defense Forces]] of Feral and Feudal Worlds also sometimes make use of muskets.

Like the Flintlock Pistols, master-crafted Muskets could be quite deceptively deadly by virtue of incorporating some form of advanced tech into, seemingly, primitive and "backward" design.

===Blunderbuss===
[[File:Blunderbuss_by_comannderrx-d93gbik.png|200px|right|thumb|The Blunderbuss, the Shotgun's grandfather.]]

A primitive shotgun. Also known as a Scatter Gun, the Blunderbuss is an exceedingly simple weapon made out of one or more short barrels strapped to a solid stock. An explosive charge is primed at the bottom of each barrel, then a large amount of metal fragments, stones, pieces of bone or anything else likely to cause harm are packed in on top.

When the weapon is discharged, it belches out this "ammunition" in a vast swath which will hopefully find itself somewhere in the locale of its intended target.

Outside of primitive societies, such a crude, ineffective and dangerous (to its operator) weapon is only used by the poorest or most desperate members of society. Usually it can be found in the use of criminal gangs, for instance the Ratskin Renegades and [[Scavvies]] of Necromunda's underhive.

===Scatter Cannon===
[[File:Scatter_Cannon.PNG|200px|right|thumb|The Scatter Cannon. The Blunderbuss' older brother and the Shotgun's uncle.]]

A primitive weapon found on Necromunda and used exclusively by the [[Scalies]]. A scatter cannon is simply an enlarged version of a Blunderbuss or scatter gun with a heavy barrel and a fist sized bore. The greater weight of the shrapnel and explosive charge used in a scatter cannon increase its range and make it a lot more deadly in the cofined conditions of the underhive.

Scalies are the only underhive denizens with the massive strength to take the recoil from these powerful primitive weapons.

[[File:40k-Stub-Boltok-Pistol.jpg|left|200px|thumb|Some things... don't quite get better with age, but the Stub Gun definitely age well.]]
===Stub Gun===

God made men, Sam Colt made them equal, and John Browning made them civilized. It's a basic pistol in two variants: the stub automatic which is like a .45 caliber handgun and the stub revolver which is, of course, a generic revolver. If you're in a gang on a hive world, it'll work pretty well because you're probably going to be shooting at other people without armor, or lightly armored local law enforcement. Very reliable, unlikely to jam, manufacture is a breeze, and ammo is plentiful. However, if you're trying to shoot an [[Ork]], even headshots might just bounce off his skull. Though, the same could be said of autoguns and lasguns, minus the actual bouncing of course.

===Hand Cannon===
[[File:Hand_Cannon.png|300px|right|thumb|A Hand Cannon. For when you want to have a pint-sized firepower.]]

Basically a semi-auto stub pistol on steroids, not unlike real-world .50 cal Desert Eagle of .454 Casull pistols in operation (It is worth noting that at least one model of hand cannon have it's caliber listed as being .54 cal, that equals roughly 13.06mm). Hand cannons are almost invariably heavy and cumbersome by pistol-grade weapons standards, in addition to having unforgiving recoil, requiring a degree of training and physical resilience to wield such a firearm. 
However, hand cannon do reward their users with the ability to kill even armoured or resilient to damage (like the Ogryns) opponents. Sort of. They are still closer in power to stub pistols than bolt pistols for instance.

[[File:Stubrifle.jpg|200px|left|thumb|Sure enough, the Stub Rifle epitomizes not fixing something if it ain't broken.]]
===Stub Rifle===
Generally, a simple medium/high-caliber bolt-action or semi-auto rifle. Also called the Stubber. Existing in many patterns, generally such a rifle is regarded as lowly civilian-grade weapon or tool. However, it often sees action not as just a hunting or farming tool, but as a combat weapon in hand of lowly insurgents, cultists or militia fighters. It's likely that high powered Stub Rifles could also be seen to use the same or similar rounds to a Heavy Stubber, minus the automatic fire. Its rule 63 equivalents are the Las-lock or Autogun.

===Shotgun===
[[File:Shotgun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Shotgun.]]
Imperial shotguns, in fact, changed little over millenia - they are the same smoothbore firearms, principally designed to either fire buckshot at close ranges or slugs to engage targets up to medium ranges. These are generally simple and cheap in construction and exists in different patterns and models throughout the Imperium of Man. They range from archaic over-and-under shotguns and pump-action ones to the full auto combat shotguns, employed as a signature weapons of Adeptus Arbitres, to models specifically tailored for Space Marine's biology, and thus having great mass and recoil, but also vastly greater stopping power. 
Also worth noting is that along with simple buckshot or slug shells, Imperial shotguns can also fire specialised rounds, produced usually by the Adeptus Mechanicus, including the dreaded Executioner-pattern sniper slugs, having the ability to change their trajectory mid-flight and home in on their target thanks to miniature on-board cogitator.

===Ogryn Ripper===
[[File:Ripper_Gun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Ripper Guns. Just when you thought regular Shotguns were big enough.]]
The Ogryn Ripper Gun is a large, brutal, and simple weapon designed for use by Imperial Guard Ogryns. It is a heavy automatic shotgun, built as simply and solidly as possible in order to survive being used by the Ogryns who use it as much as a club as a firearm. It can fire either a heavy shell or a hail of shot. By design, the Ripper Gun does not have a long range, because the Ogryn's instincts are for close combat.

Ripper Guns are intended to be fired to soften up the enemy before the Ogryns charge into close combat, and are built particularly robustly so that they can stand up to the Ogryn use of them as clubs in melee. Ripper Guns can also be fitted with Ripper Saws. A Ripper Saw is, as the name implies, a saw blade that is attached to the end of a Ripper Gun which is intended to provide the Ogryn with an effective close combat melee weapon once they close with the enemy. The Ripper Gun is one of the few Imperial weapons that is intentionally crafted for use by Ogryns, and its design is intended to be much more durable and larger than a standard Imperial weapon, to compensate for the Ogryns' extreme clumsiness and intellectual deficits.

===Heavy Stubber===
[[File:Heavy_Stubber.jpg|250px|right|thumb|A [[Death Korps of Krieg|Krieg]] Centaur's pintle-mounted Heavy Stubber.]]
Well-known is the Heavy Stubber, a machine gun used as a vehicle mount in the Imperial Guard, because in 40,000+ years, humanity has still been unable to top the genius of Weaponsmith John Browning's legendary [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M2_Browning M2] (who's surprised?). Just ask the goddamned [[Orks]].

It ''is'' basically a direct equivalent of Browning M2 .50 cal Heavy Machine Gun (It's worthy of note that some patterns of heavy stubbers actually resemble ones, except for the Vraks pattern Heavy Stubber, which looks more like an [[Nazi|MG42]]). Unlike the smaller Stub guns, Heavy Stubbers actually contain enough mass to do similar damage to a Bolter round at a much higher rate, and will reliably blow people's limbs off now as easy as they did then. Unlike the others which have been phased out, these are still in the mainline army arsenals, and are often pintle-mounted on vehicles or used in Heavy Weapon Squads in the [[Imperial Guard]]. Especially so for vehicles produced from worlds that do not have the resources to produce Heavy Bolters, or those who just find it more economical to push out a hundred Heavy Stubbers with the man-hours it would take to make a single Heavy Bolter and rounds for it. Obviously, they are not as strong as the Heavy Bolter they replace, which is <s>several times</s> more powerful than a regular Bolter, but they are stilled damned powerful enough, and they DO [[/tg/ gets shit done|GET SHIT DONE]]. Besides, if you're just trying to gun down enemy infantry, you don't strictly ''need'' a Heavy Bolter, or even a Storm Bolter, when a Heavy Stubber is just as capable of turning a human or human-equivalent into so much jelly. Then there are the different types of ammo, such as ones that break apart in the target and the ''pieces'' '''explode'''. A laser weapon version of this weapon is known as [[multilaser]].

===Sniper Rifle===
[[File:Sniper_Rifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Exitus Sniper Rifle. Scoring more headshots then the entire Tau Empire combined.]]

While the Imperial sniper rifles are generally a rather broad class of weapons, including, for example, the Long-las sniper [[lasgun]]s used by the Astra Militarum, at least some of the sniper rifles, utlised in the Imperium are actually solid-slug ballistic weaponry, firing high-caliber powerful rounds to achieve maximum range and precision of their shots.

Arguably the most iconic (and dreaded) of such Imperial "solid-slug" sniper rifles are the Exitus rifles, employed by field agents of [[Officio Assassinorum]]'s [[Vindicare]] temple. Each of these rifles is a one-of-a-kind "work of art", being painstakingly hand-crafted by Adeptus Mechanicus artisans to match the particular specs of each individual assassin. It's exceptional range and power also imply that the rifle uses something far more advanced than mere chemical gunpowder combustion to accelerate its bullets (however, the exact mechanics of its action is highly classified by Adeptus Mechanicus top brass).
With such high velocity, combined with specially made "turbo-penetrator" rounds, designed to make quick work of any armour short of the one, utilised by super-heavy tanks, the Exitus rifle gives the Vindicare assassin a chance to slay practically every conceivable target in just one well placed shot...

[[File:Macrostubber.jpg|200px|left|thumb|A Macrostubber. Looking more like a Rad Gun than anything else.]]

===Macrostubber===

The Macrostubber is the Mechanicum's more advance and powerful variation of a typical solid-slug ballistic weapons (As expected from the AdMech). This type of antique weapon is used by Adeptus Mechanicus Tech-Priests and is able to hurl out a thunderous cloud of specially designed bullets (the exact method of acclerating its projectiles is not disclosed by the Techpriests, however the looks imply something more that just gunpowder is involved). Think of it as a drum-fed light machine gun. Of course, this weapon has proven quite [[Skub|skubby]] in /tg/ due to the fact that some has taken into calling it an Autogun due to its power and rate of fire despite the name. (Than again, the fluff do not actually draw any consitent fine line between stubbers and auto-weaponry).

Then again, some may have pointed out that it could be just a more portable and lightweight variant of the Heavy Stubber.

===Stubcarbine===
[[File:Stubcarbine.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Stubcarbine. You would be fooled to think this was an Autogun.]]

''Another'' AdMech weapon exclusive to the [[Skitarii]]. The stubcarbine, though small, has the stopping power of the heavy stubbers mounted on the vehicles of the Astra Militarum. When a squad of Sicarian Infiltrators opens fire with these weapons, the air fills with a avalanche of solid shot that chews their victims to shreds. It can be assumed to have a shorter range to compensate for their high rate of fire.

In general, stubcarbines, judging from how they are described in fluff, seem to be a lightened variant of heavy-stubbers, outfitted with some kind of recoil supression system to allow them being fired as a hand-held weapons by the Skitarii. However, with shorter range due to this weapon sporting much shorter barrell than the actual heavy stubber.

==Disambiguation==
One of the pitfalls of Games Workshop is that they really don't have an internal canon police. To wit, the difference between Stub weapons and Auto weapons is rather blurry. Some authors write as though these technologies are one-and-the-same, citing only vernacular differences for the existence of multiple terms for ignited-gas slug-throwers (or sometimes totally writing out one term or the other!). The game itself is not an exemption, as edition-to-edition, codex-to-codex, and supplement-to-official author changes cause a mess of personal opinion writing over personal opinion, and some authors sling both terms with abandon, interchanging one for the other whenever they feel one term is becoming overused.

To clarify, it is generally agreed that there are both Stubbers and Auto-weapons. Stub technology tends to be lower-tech, revolvers-to-WWII style weaponry, with an air towards larger-caliber and higher stopping-power. Auto-weapons tend to be higher-tech, Cold-War-and-on style weaponry, which emphasize accuracy and fire rate. Auto-weapons also cover any large-scale cannon, by virtue of necessitating better technology to fire large shells at a high rate, or colossal explosives at any rate. Bigger caliber and slower rates of fire denote Stub weapons, until you hit the point where infantry can no-longer wield them. Anything with explosive, tracer, frangible, or incendiary rounds are typically Auto-weapons. Muzzle-loaders like muskets or arquebuses are neither Auto nor Stub. Furthermore, autoguns are generally (but not always) described as firing caseless ammunition.

A good example to use would be pistols. A stub pistol would be either a revolver or a semi-auto magazine-fed pistol. An autopistol would be either a handheld automatic pistol or a burst-fire pistol. High-tech, [[Shadowrun]]-esque revolvers are still Stub weapons, while Kreig-made automatic slug-throwing cannons are still Auto weapons by default, and hand-crank Gatling guns could go either way. Pepperbox-style breach-loaders would be neither, and futuristic ignited-gas projectile weapons are Auto weapons. Since GW is pathologically incapable of consistency, the Cult Mechanicus Tech-Priest Dominus carries a 5-shot burst pistol called a macrostubber, even though its form factor and performance suggest that it should be called some type of auto pistol. Probably fires similar rounds to a heavy stubber though.

{{Template:40k-Imperial-Weapons}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]]

Lasgun

2017-09-30T05:13:07Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Lascarbine */

[[Image:Guardsman.jpg|thumb|right|This is painfully accurate. Unlike the fucking lasgun. And the sad truth is, that it would probably do more damage than the actual gun.]]

[[image:KHARN LOEV FLASHLIGHT.jpg|thumb|right|[[Kharn]] also love <strike>Flashlight</strike>LASGUN!!]]
[[image:1271099410879.jpg|thumb|right|The closest thing to choice an Imperial guardsmen will have - what sort of lasgun he'll get (not an actual choice, generally speaking).]]

The humble (and we mean humble) '''Lasgun''' is the standard-issue armament of the average [[Imperial Guard]]sman in the [[Warhammer 40,000]] setting. Given the incalculable number of Guardsmen under arms and the sheer scale of the [[Imperium]] itself, it is safe to say that the lasgun is probably the most common weapon in the entire galaxy that isn't some underhive piece of junk like stub guns, knives or other miscellaneous weapon. On the tabletop it shares the same rules with autoguns.

The name is rather obviously a portmanteau of "laser" and "gun", but argument [[rage]]s [[skub|over how the word is meant to be pronounced]]. Many claim that the "las" should be pronounced "layz" (or in other words say that it's pronounced with a long "a", as the first part of "laser"), but others contend that this sounds retarded, and "lazz-gun" (or a short "a" sound, as in "glass") is a better pronunciation. According to [[Games Workshop]], its name is pronounced "Laze-gun"; however, Jeremy Vetock and Duncan Rhodes both say "Lazzguns," so it really is a toss up. (And unimportant).

It is almost universally described in the [[fluff]] as discharging with a sharp crack (caused by the beam ionizing the air it travels through), but some authors describe the lasround as either a "bolt" as in Star Wars or as a "beam" as in Dawn of War. Other features of the weapon have greater variation - some [[Black Library]] works and items such as the [[Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer]] describe the weapon as possessing a fully automatic firing setting; this feature is represented by Rapid Fire rule on the tabletop, but not represented in Dark Heresy, which can be explained away by virtue of the fact that there are many different patterns of Lasgun produced throughout the Imperium.

There is also some dispute as to the color of the "beam". Some fluff claims it to be blue, while games like Dawn of War portray it as red or something of a reddish-yellow. The popular ''Gaunt's Ghosts'' series of novels by [[Dan Abnett]] say that the Imperial weapons fire blue "beams", while the Chaos weapons fire red ones. In order to fix this [[Skub|mess]], we have proposed a Scientific fact on the issue...

*The Fact: the energy of each individual photon is determined by its frequency (i.e. colour); power output is energy per second, meaning the same power output is achievable with either more photons per second at a lower frequency (bright red) or fewer photons per second at a higher frequency (dim blue). In either case, the colour is also dependent on the gas it is traveling through, as the amount of energy transferred to the surrounding medium via [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compton_scattering]] depends on the mass of each gas particle, while the brightness depends on the amount of gas particles, so the laser would look different on different planets. Regardless, a fired lasround would never look like a "bolt" to any camera (such as a human eye) operating at a frame rate lower than approximately a billion frames per second, so those depictions can safely be assumed to be [[heresy|heresy]]; it would look like any pulsed laser, i.e. a "beam".

== Why the Lasgun sucks ==
''See Also: [[Lasgun Patterns]]''

IT'S NOT A LASER! IT'S A LITTLE LIGHT BULB THAT BLINKS! - Guardsman Woody.

"What do you call a Lasgun with a taclight mounted under the barrel? Twin-linked."
- Any 40k player evar (hilariously, GW has caught onto this. Less hilariously, on Regimental Standard they've got an in-universe nod where any Guardsman who makes this joke is sentenced to flogging).

The lasgun is [[Derp|rather pathetic]] [[Grimdark|compared to the mainline arms and armour of most of the other armies of the setting]], useful only by virtue of the fact that Guardsmen come in ridiculous numbers (except in comparison to Tyranids, Chaos Cultists/Zombies, or Orks) and the application of statistical probability. The weapons are often derisively referred to as "flashlights," based on their individual uselessness, although this is arguably more of an example of how ridiculously tough everything else is in the setting.

The 6th Edition rulebook describes the lasgun as severing limbs at close range but further away it only goes about as deep as the liver, explosively flash-boiling said liver and all other squishy bits in the laser's path. That sounds awesome, until you remember that nearly every enemy of the Imperium has [[Chaos Space Marines|heat and energy-dissipating armor]], [[Orks|redundant biology]], or [[Tau|simply outrange them]]. Pretty much the only enemy an individual lasgun can reliably kill are other humans. They are on the same level of effectiveness as autoguns (which are basically AK-47s IN SPACE), except lasguns are even more durable, reliable, accurate (due to low to no recoil and the fact that the beam is not affected by gravity or wind, though shooting though a dust cloud or fog on the other hand is more problematic, so a B over all for atmospheric effects) and less dependent on massive ammo supplies; a single power-pack can, depending on the gun's setting, afford up to 100 to 140 shots on average, while an autogun magazine is usually 20-60 bullets (which, fun fact, is generally what typical lasguns set to max power usually can fire.) Plus you can recharge their batteries from Chimera generators, sunlight or even fire, while an autogun is useless once out of ammo for anything other than a fancy club or if you have the good fortune to have a bayonet, a vaguely sharp stick. Not that said bayonet on either weapon will help against orks or 'nids. And given the general competence of Munitorum depots, you'd probably end up with ration packs instead of ammunition, though this of course applies to lasgun power-packs, as well.

Combine this with most lasguns seeming to come pre-set to "medium power" (granting between 40 and 80 shots a pack with usually enough penetration power to reliably punch right trough Imperial Guard's flak armour (or xenos-made equivalents of such) and many places not bothering to actually include how to adjust power as part of basic training - probably (rightly) assuming the soldier won't live long enough for it to matter - and you end up with an energy-based assault rifle, that is actually good for taking down lightly-armoured infantry with resilience to ballistic damage roughly equal that of a normal human (as it is in case with eldars or tau), but that's exactly what it was designed for - nothing less, but also nothing more. Unluckly for typical guardsmen, however, there are warrior-creatures if 41-st millenium that are either equipped with [[Power_Armour|armour, capable of deflecting even heavy stubber or bolter shells impacts]], or [[Orks|biology so robust, that it is able to take a hit from heavy stubber's bullet in the chest and continue fighting on]], or, in especially bad cases, [[Chaos_Space_Marines|warrior-creatures that have both of the aforementioned traits]]...

== Why the Lasgun is still being used ==

Although better known as a "flashlight", some players also call it "The AK-47 of the 41st Millennium", albeit ironically. Instead of being reliable, tough, relatively inaccurate and having a tendency to show up in the hands of just about everyone, it's reliable, common as fuck (like 100 for every human in the galaxy common), pretty damned tough, and accurate but that is only by 40k standards. ...So, yeah, I guess it is the AK of the 41st Millennium.

The lasgun has very low recoil, especially in comparison to a [[bolter]] or even an [[autogun]]. More like a jolt than a kick, probably, due to sudden change in air pressure. The powerpack that the weapon uses can fire about a hundred shots before running empty and can be easily recharged through any standard Imperial power supply, direct sunlight, and even heat. A relatively common practice of Imperial Guard units cut off from supplies is to place their lasgun power packs in open fires, although this does lower the pack's lifespan considerably and is [[heresy|frowned upon]].

The weapons are rather more useful in [[Dark Heresy]] than they are in the tabletop wargame, as their reliability, availability and plentiful ammunition become real considerations and they are rather more useful against the human foes that an agent of the Inquisition is likely to face.

Power packs for lasguns also vastly simplify a nightmare waiting to happen for ammunition logistics. Even if Autoguns were better in all ways than a lasgun, the Administratum would still use the lasgun for the power pack. Power packs, while not able to fit all sizes of lasgun apparently, can still be modified to fit, or be recharged in the middle of campaign. Especially important if you can't get any new supplies due to a variety of reasons (Enemy has orbital control, no one has your size caliber, ammunition expires, etc). This is important, since lasguns, the worst they can do if given the wrong size is not work. For an auto gun, with the wide range and variety of possible ammunition sizes, the best that will happen is that you won't fire your weapon, the worse, is that the shooter dies, and more importantly the weapon is destroyed. This is a strategy even being used today, to simplify ammunition supply problems by making all their guns fire the same cartridge. These same standards are impossible to enforce in the Imperium for an army the size of trillions.

One last thing about Lasguns is that they ''can'' be used as last-ditch grenades by basically making the entire power pack empty into the gun without ever actually firing it. It turns the Lasgun into an explosive comparable in power to a krak grenade or melta charge, depending on how badly it manages to fuck up whatever it was thrown at. It can even fuck the shit of a Chaos Dreadnought who thought he was going to make some Guardsmen go squish, and instead gets a lasgun-bomb surprise to the face. (It should be noted that this happened to a dreadnought whose front armor was already cracked from being hit by anti-armor weapons, so no way your overloading lasgun is going to help against an undamaged one)

One must wonder, considering how ass-cheap power-packs and the part of the lasgun this power dumps everything into to make it go "boom" are (compared to things like melta bombs and probably krak grenades as well,) why doesn't the Imperium make standard-issue grenades like that? Seriously, imagine guard squads with grenades almost comparable to melta charges ( which are pretty much miniature ''nukes,'') and remember that squads can get multiple assault grenade launchers. The answer is probably that the Techpriests would go completely apeshit for desecrating holy technology and try to secede. Again. Unless there's some threat that forces them to make such weaponry or some red-robed asshat can convince enough other red-robed asshats that it was totally an STC design of course.

Five counter-arguments to the lasgun-power-pack-grenade come readily to mind, discounting most guardsmen not being aware of this particular tactic.
* Firstly, the power pack's detonation timing is highly unpredictable, and as we all know, <del>anything that endangers an imperial infantryman will absolutely not be considered</del> only the most fanatical, stupid, or just plain reckless Guardsmen would be willing to use it regularly.
* Secondly, while a lasgun is pretty inexpensive in comparison to, say, a bolter, its power-packs are ''not'' as cheap to produce (they make up for it by being so easily recharged.) And only veteran soldiers tend to carry more than a small handful of packs; packs which said veterans probably looted off other guardsmen who didn't get to be veterans.
* Thirdly, the blast yield from a power pack is never described as being particularly strong. In the aforementioned example the soldier managed to open a dreadnought's faceplate just enough for the [[grimdark|local flora to kill it]], which sounds commensurate to a glancing hit, estimating the explosion closer to that of a krak grenade (S6) or maybe a little stronger. While still powerful when compared to regular old frag grenades, this is nothing like the famous melta bomb.
* A weapon, no matter how shitty, is still a soldier's baby. A soldier without his main weapon is generally a dead man, commissar or no, and the only time you would be forced to use your own, custom, probably personalized rifle if you live long enough to know this tactic, is in case of true emergency or imminent death. The same case that the first case of this ever being recorded happened.
* Finally, in the instance where a Guardsman survives using his weapon and its magazine in such a reckless manner, he must then face the wrath of his superiors (If he survives the incident); the sheer number of Munitorum violations involved in using a lasgun and its ammo as a makeshift bomb are staggering (and while most alone would probably result in perfectly survivable corporal punishment, such as say being repeatedly rifle-stocked in the balls four dozen times while hanging upside down, all added up it's more pragmatic to just make the punishment execution to save some time.) <del>Unless he manages to secure a new weapon beforehand of course.</del>

In all seriousness, the lasgun is very deadly when used in the hands of someone competent, and as being an effective combat weapon goes, anything not too heavily armored, like Traitor Cultists, Eldar Guardians, Ork Boyz, Tyranid Gaunts, and other Imperial Guard style forces are bound to be ridden with Laser holes. The Vostroyan Firstborn, for example, are renown for their precision with their lasguns and rewarded with high kill counts against everything from Orks to traitors. Elysian Drop Troopers are similarly known for exceptional marksmanship bred via necessity wherein they maximize lethality with minimal shots. And if you pray to the Emperor and get really lucky (given the Guard's numbers, they ''will'' get lucky, a lot), you might be able to take down a Chaos Space Marine (or equivalent) with it anyway - [[What|though Space Marines are also known to die after being poked (stabbed) by enough pointy (sharp hard) sticks on occasion after all or being stomped on by enough human beings at once]] Also, a point- or near-point-blank shot at maximum power from a lasgun can penetrate a Space Marine's helmet and turn his brains into impromptu house paint.

It should be noted that the lasgun is stated to be able to destroy a slab of cement, which a .50 cal anti armour rifle would be able to do today. Although that could because the Lasgun is placed on a slightly higher setting or it may be a different pattern of Lasgun.

A quote from [[Black Crusade (RPG)]] sums up the las gun perfectly: ''"The Legionnaire that scoffs at a lasgun has not charged across an open field against a hundred of them."''
Of course, in Black Crusade a Legionnaire in power armor is all but impossible to wound with a lasgun (and that is what Horde rules are for!).

==Uses for the Lasgun==
[[Image:Laysgun2_1974.PNG|300px|right|thumb|Also, a rare pict-capture of the ancient Laysgun.]]
*Warming soup
*Cigarette lighter
*Changing TV channels
*Selling to buy a new weapon
*Pissing off [[Thunderhawk]] pilots
*Shining in enemies' eyes
*Throwing at people (may cause more damage than shooting it at them)
*Burning ants
*Paperweight
*Laser sight for a boltgun
*Aide during PotentiaPunctum presentations
*Light shows
*Laser tag for kids (who are probably more dangerous than the gun itself)
*Magic shows for kids
*Lighting candles on birthday cakes
*A Laser pointer
*Entertainment for your space-kitties
*Shooting bottles
*Hitting your officer's pipe (Warning, will result in [[Blam|BLAMing]])
*Flashlight
*Substitue baseball bat
*Salvaged for actual useful stuff
*Horsie rides
*Chair
*Creating a makeshift rave

== Other laser weapons ==

The lasgun also comes in carbine, pistol, bullpup, sniper ("long-las"), and light machine gun (the heavy lasgun, which so far seems to only exist in Black Library) - (Heavy laser is just a crew-fired multi laser) varieties, and the Imperium fields many other weapons based on the same technology, such as the [[hellgun]] (a powerful lasgun powered by a backpack power pack), the mighty [[lascannon]] (mighty being relative... SPESS MEHREENS can equip it), the even bigger [[Apocalypse|volcano cannon and turbo-laser]], the even bigger Defense Laser, and the bigger ''still'' laser weapons mounted on [[Battlefleet Gothic|starships.]] Must be a different type, though, because a broadside from a Retribution class battleship can devastate half a continent depending on the [[Skub|calcs]]. A single barrage from an Imperator class Titan can devastate an ''entire'' city with weapons as strong as modern day nukes. Keep in mind how large an Imperial city is.

Oh, and [[C.S. Goto|multilasers]].

=== Laspistol ===

''See main page, [[Laspistol]]''

=== Lasgun ===
[[Image:lasgun.jpg|thumb|right|190px|Standard Cadian pattern Lasgun]]

You know'em, you love'em. There really isn't a point in repeating what has already been said since you are on a page talking about this wonderful piece of Imperial equipment other then putting it in the Lasgun family. Of course there are certain modifications that may breach the line on what ''may'' count as a Lasgun. But overall, it is cheap, effective and put a lovely little dent to most light infantry contrary to popular belief.

Just don't try and attempt go all Leeroy Jenkins on this thing. The Lasgun is a light assault weapon, not a Titan-busting Volcano Cannon.

{{40k-Ranged-Weapon-Profile-7-8|name=Lasgun|r7=24"|type7=Rapid Fire|s7=3|ap7=-|r8=24"|type8=Rapid Fire 1|s8=3|ap8=0}}

=== Hotshot Laspistol===
[[File:Hotshot_Laspistol.jpg|190px|right|thumb|Hotshot Laspistol]]

''See main page, [[Hellgun#Hellpistol|Hellpistol]]''

The Hotshot Lasgun's little brother, also known as [[Hellgun#Hellpistol|Hellpistol]] (although there do remain some canon conflict about these two weapons designation). Hotshot Laspistols are typically hand-crafted, rather than mass-produced in factories, and most are hundreds of years old and have acquired histories over the course of centuries of use in combat. Unless otherwise specified, a Hotshot Laspistol remains the property of the Departmento Munitorum, though an individual can be awarded one for heroic deeds. A Hotshot Laspistol fires a higher-intensity shot than a laspistol, cauterizing just about any wound it causes and preventing blood from being shed. For this reason, Hotshot Laspistol have been sanctioned for use as execution weapons for officers and commissars, as a shot to the condemned soldier's head will prevent any blood from staining their uniform.

=== Hotshot Lasgun===
[[File:Hotshot_Lasgun.png|190px|right|thumb|Hotshot Lasgun]]

''See main page, [[Hellgun]]''

A variant of the Lasgun, also known as the [[Hellgun]] (although there do remain some canon conflict about these two weapons designation), the Hotshot Lasgun and Hotshot Laspistol are weapons used primarily by the [[Stormtrooper]]s (and presumably other arms of the Imperial war machine). These are juiced-up versions of the Lasgun charge pack inside a normal Lasgun. They are designed to be used by elite troops or officers, who are generally better shots. Instead of the Hellgun's tactic of using lots of batteries to shoot several times per second, Hotshots use a super-concentrated laser blast to achieve the same kind of armor-penetrating power.

{{40k-Ranged-Weapon-Profile-7-8|name=Hotshot Lasgun|r7=18"|type7=Rapid Fire|s7=3|ap7=3|r8=18"|type8=Rapid Fire 1|s8=3|ap8=-2}}

=== Hotshot Volley Gun ===
[[File:Volley_Gun.png|190px|right|thumb|Hotshot Volley Gun]]

Another variation of the Hotshot category of Lasguns. These weapons are borne into battle by [[Stormtrooper|Tempestus Scions]] to deal with armored enemy infantry. The Hot-Shot Volley Gun is a larger version of the Hot-Shot Lasgun that "incorporates penitent-class heat sink arrays" which means that they "can maintain a punishing rate of high powered fire".

Think of them as a fully automatic LMG version of the regular old Hotshot Lasgun. As you can imagine, the sheer amount of [[Dakka]] means that they are more likely to be situated within the heavy weapons category then the normal Hotshot Lasguns. They are known to fire with a distinctive spitting howl.

=== Mining Laser ===
[[File:Mining_Laser.jpg|190px|right|thumb|Mining Laser]]

Mining Laser is not formally a weapon, but a tool for breaching tunnels in the mining process. In some cases though the Mining Laser can be used as a weapon, often by [[Genestealer|Genestealer Cults]]. For example, Dvarlock pattern Mining Laser, founded and identified by Tempestor Gulack of the Kappic Eagles have been modified so it can blast the hole through a meters-thick bulkhead with a single pull of a trigger. It also features three hand-grips. indicating its use in combination with a tertia pattern servo-arm.

There is also the Heavy Mining Laser which is a heavier variant of the standard version, used on [[Goliath Truck|Goliath Rockgrinders.]] Although to be honest, it is only 'heavy' because it is on a turreted mount, other than that there is very little difference between the Heavy Mining Laser and the regular old Mining Laser.

=== Long-Las ===
[[File:Long-Las.jpg|190px|right|thumb|Long-Las]]

In the good old days the Imperial sniper rifle was the poorly named [[Needler|'needle rifle']] which was in fact a kind of laser weapon. Well, partly. It had two parts to each shot. It fired a narrow beam laser to burn through armor, and then it fired a 'needle' bullet; a spike of some kind of metal filled with horribly poisonous toxins. With the armor removed first, the spiky bit all but ensured a kill if you hit, spurting deadly death juice into your unfortunate body. Sadly they weren't especially well conceived weapons (hitting the same spot with two different weapons, one that responds to wind and gravity, and the other that doesn't is something of a challenge) so they've pretty much been written out of the setting these days. Now the term "sniper rifle" is used fairly loosely in the Imperium; many sniper rifles are simply over-powered lasguns called long-las rifles, while many others (such as those used by [[Space Marine]] [[Scout]]s) are high-velocity slug-throwers which have more in common with [[autogun]]s than they do with energy weapons. Then there are other more exotic variants firing poisoned darts or even stranger payloads. All of these variants have pretty much the same effect on the target, unless you play older editions or use special characters who have rules that say otherwise. Or play [[Dark Heresy]].

However, since you are on the Long-Las category, we might as well talk about it. The Long-Las is a sniper variation of the Lasgun with a much longer barrel for increased range and accuracy, and also to prevent overheating. However the barrel makes a Long-Las up to twice as long as a standard Lasgun and thus difficult to use in close quarters.

Within the Imperial Guard the Long-Las, formerly known as the Sniper Variant Lasgun, is issued only to those Guardsmen with the necessary marksmanship skills and knowledge in stealth and scouting operations. It uses the XC 52/3 strengthened barrel, longer and thinner than normal models, and lacks a charge setting slider, instead using hotshot power packs. It's also much quieter than other lasguns and features a flash suppressor to dampen the revealing flashes of its shots. However the increased wear on the barrel from using the overpowered energy packs means more frequent barrel changes than is usually required for normal lasguns.

=== Lascarbine ===
[[File:Lascarbine.jpg|190px|right|thumb|Lascarbine]]

During the [[Great Crusade]] the Lascarbine was the great grandfather of the Lasgun. Basically the same weapon as the Lasgun in a smaller package. They were standard issue among the Imperial Army and Solar Auxilla.
In modern WH40k, a Lascarbine is designed for use by special operations units and is usually employed by Drop Troopers or scout units of the Imperial Guard such as the
[[Elysian Drop Troops]].

=== Auxilia Lasrifle ===
[[File:Auxillia_Lasrifle.PNG|190px|right|thumb|Auxilia Lasrifle]]

Auxilia lasrifles have better range compared to their inferior knockoffs. These have the option of taking Blast chargers. A one time ability that does more damage for skipping a turn. Roles of 1 prevent the player from using them for the remainder of the game.
They also [[awesome|come standard]] with Collimators. Switching out Rapid Fire for Heavy 2. Making any opponent think twice about about charging a squad of [[Solar Auxilia]]. As if a Super Heavy tank as a Dedicated Transport wasn't enough reason to stay out of range.

=== Blast Pistol ===
[[File:Auxillia_Blast_Pistol.PNG|190px|right|thumb|Blast Pistol]]
''Not to be confused with the [[Phosphor Weaponry#Phosphor Blast Pistol|Phosphor Blast Pistol]], another 30k era weapon that fires completely different rounds.''

Basically a supped up las-pistol that explodes in the user's hand. Their description makes them seem like laser revolvers used by officers of the Solar Auxilla. To mirror when an officer during the 19th century was issued a sidearm. Giving him a better gun than the line troops who had to use leaver and bolt actions. Which isn't the case here.

These bespoke weapons like the Hotshot Laspistol and Hellpistol were able to fire only a handful of shots before reloading, but their damage output rivals that of arcane [[Volkite Weaponry]]. Due to this, Blast Pistols were seen as an emblem of wealth and prestige, and many were works of art in their own right, and thus they also became a widely used form of decoration and reward for extreme gallantry and commendation within the Solar Auxilia regiments.

On the table top. Blast Pistols are S5 Las-pistols with Twin Linked and Gets-Hot. Archaeotech and Plasma pistols are more useful then these things.

=== Digital Lasers/Digital Weapons ===
[[File:JokaeroDigitalWeapon.jpg‎|200px|right|thumb|Digi-Weapon]]

These are actually melee weapons. However there isn't really anywhere else to put them.
In 40k they are exclusively made by [[Jokaero]]. During the Great Crusade and Horus Heresy they are weapons of [[Blood Ravens|unknown]] [[Heresy|Xenos origin]]. This section describes how the Imperium at large uses them.

Digital weapons are best described as a small laser used by Space Marine officers. It allows them to re-roll one failed hit during the Assault/Fight Phase. Which is decent, However it isn't anywhere near as cool when their used in Black Library books or the weapons stated to be used by the Jokareo. Only the Xenos monkies have them on the table top until the actual 8th edition Codexes are released.

30k Digital Lasers are as usual better than the 40k version. Rather than just Space Marines, Inquisitors and the occasional gun/chain/power sword toting hero. Every officer had access to them. They are short ranged but deadly weapons that are "small enough to be concealed in a ring, gauntlet, sword hilt or helm." So they should be as strong as a single Hot Shot Lasgun, Lasrifle or Las-Lock beam.

In the Horus Heresy game a Digital Laser gives the model one additional attack. [[Awesome|So the officer doesn't have to give up their sole ranged weapon for an extra melee hit.]] One would assume either weapon would also allow an extra ranged attack with the same strength and AP as a Hot-Shot Lasgun or Archaeotech Pistol. Like how the Servo Harness gives [[Techmarines]] extra ranged and melee weapons. However Games Workshop and Forge World aren't nice enough to give players an option that would be useful in more than one situation. Without making them pay extra real life money for it first.

=== Las-Lock ===

[[File:Las-Lock.PNG|190px|right|thumb|Las-Lock]]

Like everything like in else in Warhammer 40k. Whatever the forces of the Imperium of Man have, the Adeptus Mechanicus will have discovered or created a better version of it. That they don't bother sharing with their own allies. As with every other fraction in the game.
[[Tech Thrall]]'s are thus far the only know Ad-mech troops to carry las-weapons. Admech Las-lock's sacrifice rate of fire for more damage per shot. Making it a superior version of the Hot-Shot lasgun.

=== Mitralock ===
[[File:Mitralock2.PNG|190px|right|thumb|Mitralock]]

There is also the Mitralock, a [[what|laser shotgun]] with reduced range.
Both have the option to upgrade to Induction chargers [[awesome|increasing their shots to two.(represented as Assault 2 in game.)]] While still allowing them to Assault with no penalty. This turns them into a high risk unit to for any opponent dumb enough to charge them.

In terms of tabletop, the Mitralock is the [[Shotgun|Scattergun]] of the Las Family. It is an 8" range Las-lock, but it gains Shred. It also has Induction Chargers which is an optional attachment to both Las-locks AND Mitra-locks (HH3, p. 221) it upgrades them to Assault 2.

=== Lascutter ===
[[File:Bits-lascutter.jpg|190px|right|thumb|Lascutter]]

Lascutters are a powerful but extremely unwieldy type of Laser Weapon. Originally industrial tools used for cutting through armored bulkheads and dense ores, these weapons make use of disruption field-assisted short range laser arcs. They were later utilized for warfare, being used in sieges where they were able to breach enemy fortifications and if necessary become devastating close-quarters weapons.
On the table top. These thing suck. Only Breachers can take them. [[What| The Cumbersome rule reduces the model's WS1 and can only make a single attack.]] Take [[Graviton_weapons|Graviton guns]] instead.

===Lightning Gun===
[[File:Lightning+Gun.jpg|190px|right|thumb|Lightning Gun]]

[[Pretend|Despite the name,]] Lightning Guns are a type of laser weapons used by the AdMech. Whilst they do use electromagnetism, most of the killing power is from the pew pew lasers. Lightning Guns are Great Crusade era weapons used by various Adeptus Mechanicus troops, most notably [[Thallax]].

This aptly named weapon takes the form of a baroquely designed carbine connected to a micro-reactor or power core. It fires an ionizing las-beam along with a powerful phased discharge of electromagnetic particles. The ensuing effect makes the weapon able to overload mechanical targets in addition to its effectiveness against organic enemies.

=== Multilasers ===

''See main page, [[Multilasers ]]''

=== Lascannon ===

''See main page, [[Lascannon]]''

===Superheavy Laser Weapons===

''See main page, [[Superheavy Laser Weapons]]''

== Properties of a lasgun ==
It's easy to imagine being hit with a lasgun would be like having a hole burned into you like an ant being burned by a magnifying glass. That, of course, is not nearly grimdark enough to be the truth.

A military DEW (or Directed Energy Weapon since military forces love TLAs (Three-Letter Acronyms)) comes in several different types, from microwave weapons which are mostly used to short out electronics, to Electrolasers which use lasers to ionize the air into a semi-superconductive channel, allowing an electrical current to be projected between two points like a glorified (albeit high-power) taser. This may in fact is likely how necron [https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Tesla Tesla weapons] work but that is neither here nor now. A lasgun however is most likely to be a pulsed energy laser. A pulsed laser works by imparting so much energy to an area so fast, that it turns into plasma and explodes. Modern versions create a pressure wave strong enough to stun and knock a person out (termed "Pulsed Energy Projectile), but they are less then-lethal weapons that don't penetrate things very well by design, while the lasgun is not.

Being hit with a lasgun would (could) look and feel more like you were hit by a concussion grenade held up to your chest. You would see a bright flash of light as your skin or clothing vaporized into plasma, much like a high-end camera flash going next to the wound. Higher-power laser weapons might cause enough of an explosion to blow you back and maybe knock you unconscious, or if you got hit by one of the Lasgun's anti-tank big brothers, vaporize you outright turning you into an impromptu plasma grenade for the rest of your squad to deal with. The explosion would create enough hydrostatic pressure to likely scramble your internal organs and maybe snapping your bones in parts of your body distant from the explosion. However, if the lasgun hit something like armor, or even clothing it might induce an explosion only on the surface of the armor leaving the rest of you safe, though most assuredly stunned and dazzled from the plasma explosion. This explains why the Lasgun has a AP of only -. A Bolter's bolts, on the other hand, penetrate the exterior and then explode inside the target, meaning it can deal with armor and tough alien targets like Orks much easier, since you're effectively ignoring the armor on anything the mass-reactive warhead can punch through. The lasgun is clearly nothing to sneeze at; it's just that the vast majority of the Imperium's more exotic enemies are capable of taking that kind of punishment most of the time and still keep on fighting.

However, all that is based on the previously mentioned less than lethal lasers, which are specifically designed that way on purpose. A laser can easily be designed to maximize impact or penetration, and autogun bullets, which could likely go right through many parts of you, also have AP - anyway. A theory more in line with the stated effects of a lasgun shot is that it would use multiple insanely rapid micro pulses to BORE THROUGH light infantry-grade armour, clothes and flesh to reach internal organs. Imagine getting drilled into by hundreds of tiny explosions, all within the span of milliseconds. This would leave wound very similar to the ones described in the Uplifting Primer, nasty burnt holes.

While the lasgun is portrayed in some media as having recoil, it doesn't in any true sense of the term. There might be a slight jerk on the barrel from the air pressure differential created by melting a hole through the air, a la a thunderclap, but the effects would be much more pronounced on the target (since there's no direct exchange of kinetic energy, the recoil can be zero, while there is a noticeable impact.) It might make a loud "crack" noise, due to Compton scattering, if it is fired in atmosphere and an abundant source of electrons is available (such as from the gun itself, if it is design appropriately). It should also be noted that at long range, if you were shot with one, there would be a substantial delay between the shot hitting you and you actually hearing the noise, making it an effective sniper's weapon. The second most common counterargument to this is that you would be able to follow the beam back to the sniper, but remember: you don't see the beam. It's too bright for you to be able to see it clearly, and you're going to be flashblinded by both the plasma explosion and the laser itself, if it's in a visible spectrum. Which it doesn't have to be. In fact, since Imperial lasgun is described as firing blue or white beams, the laser itself is likely ultraviolet, meaning there would be some brightness as it carved through the air, but not as much as a high-power laser backscattering into your eyes and giving you an impromptu round of Lasik.

Coming to that, [[Grimdark|the continued use of a lasgun is probably going to render you blind.]] Remember, this is a gun that shoots a whole bunch of light to do damage. It's going to be even harder on your retinas, even if you're not the one being hit by it. After all, just because you can't see UV light doesn't mean it's not bouncing around your eyeballs-this is why UV protection in sunglasses is such a big deal, and why your eyes sometimes hurt when you step outside on an overcast day. There's still light there, and it's still fucking with your very easily damaged optics. So unless the Departmento Munitorum issues some kind of protective eyewear or contacts to the Guardsmen (and don't kid yourself, this is 40K. They don't.), their vision is going to get worse and worse over time, until they finally go blind. Fortunately, this would take about six months to a year of exposure of combat level conditions, or one apocalypse battle on a gunline, and most Guardsmen are not going to live that long on the battlefields of the 41st Millennium, and if do live that like then you're an elite soldier (or commissar/commander) worth the laser eye surgery to keep fighting since you're now worth many times what a normal guardsmen is. Or you manage to buy a cheap pair of shades at your troop ship's market, which are actually pretty common even then.

Except that you don't have to worry about laser back scatter or (to a lesser extent) lasers sucking at range. Lasers of sufficient power don't reflect. As in at all. Their light and energy is basically absorbed on impact. So the only light you'd have to worry about is the plasma flash of the impact and beam (if present). Also, lasers that can blast holes in to you may suffer from dust or distortion effects, but non-vacuum frequency lasers will get through air well enough simply on the basis that air is much much less dense than what it is intended to actually bore through. Also adaptive optics can at least partially mitigate said effect. As far as inverse square law goes, lasers are COHESIVE beams, and can easily be focused and stay focused well within firing range, even for typical sniper ranges, if aperture is large enough and/or wavelength is short enough to counter diffraction(UV is very short).

TL, DR: People disagree but it's not fun.

Too short, want more? Go [http://www.projectrho.com/public_html/rocket/sidearmenergy.php here].

== Why the Lasgun doesn't suck (an alternate take) ==
The purpose of the primary infantry weapon is not to take out everything that the infantryman might face. It's to provide volume of fire and self defense from other infantry. As today the average infantry man is equipped with an assault rifle that is not capable to pierce trough light armor up, nor is intended to. That's why in infantry squads you have infantry support weapons, like machine guns, mortars, rocket launchers, grenade launchers, anti materiel rifles etc. An infantry squad is supposed to take on hard targets with its support weapons where light armed troopers provide cover and logistic support. Also they are supposed to call in heavy support from artillery/air/tanks etc.

The astra militarum is fully equipped to handle harder targets with a variety of powerful infantry support weapons (plasma rifles, missile launchers etc) and a huge selection of heavy fire support from lascannons to leman russes.

In this context the lasgun is a fantastic weapon. Far superior of the today assault rifle even considering the battlefield differences. The lasgun is extremely rugged and reliable. Will require almost zero training becase has no moving part and no recoil. The "no recoil" part being extremely important, because it means that untrained troops will still be able to put down relatively accurate full auto fire, a practical impossibility with today guns. Lasgun fire will rape non armored or lightly armored infantry and still pose a threat to medium armored infantry. And will absolutely destroy unarmored vehicles. A bullet can cause virtually no damage to a truck, but a lasgun bolt will cripple it.

The logistical ability of giving hundreds of shots to every single infantry man, in the form of compact, standard and rechargeable power packs is the ultimate dream of every army. The level of flexibility that this allows is incredible and is unmatched by virtually any other infantry weapon in the 40k universe. And remember "amateurs talk about tactics, professionals talk about logistcs".

The lasgun is so an incredibly flexible weapon that it could be even modified into firing more powerful shots, still retaining part compatibility and power source (therefore logistical chain). So it's well suited for the lowly grunt '''and''' the special forces operatives, that will also be able to use it's superior training and physical fitness to carry literally THOUSANDS of shots worth of power packs. This will enable all sort of long range military operations deep in enemy territory and far from supply lines that we can't even think of today.

And yes, in 40k everyone and their mom has at the very least carapace-grade armor that will offer a decent grade of protection from lasgun shots (and that's not counting the fact that even carapace armour could be rather reliably pierced by lasgun's beams, abeit this would generally require a guardsman to close to about 100 meters distance to his target as opposed to lasgun's 400-500 meters effective range against infantry, donning only light flak vests and regular steel helmets). But that's not a weakness of the whole lasgun concept. Far from it. It's the ultimate victory of it, because it means that your enemy has to spend a shitload of money to put every one of his soldiers in expensive top grade armor just to have any hope not them to be instantly destroyed by your endless stream of dead accurate full auto lasgun fire.

== Las weapons and AA ==
The problem of hitting a flying object with a gun is that the flyer is moving at high speed in a three dimensional space. That means that to hit it with a "bullet" you need to know where the flyer be when the bullet will cover the relative distance between the shooter and the target. You need to detect the precise three dimensional position and velocity vectors. Then you have to factor the variable speed of the bullet and his ballistic trajectory. And even if you do all that with the near-perfect accuracy, the target might just change his velocity (maneuver) and dodge it.

That's why in modern warfare all AA, except at the very most close range, is handled to missiles instead of guns.

All this problems disappears if you have a practical las weapon that will fire a las beam at speed of light. Even if your target is - say - 300 kilometers away, the las beam will reach it in a millisecond. Flying at mach 3, the object would displace by only one meter in one millisecond and still be hit. This mean that hitting a flyer with a las weapon would be extremely easy even without any dedicated equipement if close enough to be seen by naked eye. With <s>radar</s> auspex firing control you will basically hit flyers as soon as you detect it. The main strength of flyers (being harder to hit) will disappear and they will become the easier targets on the battlefield because they have no chance of cover and they cannot be as hard armored as something on the ground.

That's it, practical las weapons will probably make all "airplane" like stuff disappear from battlefield.

==See also==
*[[Hellgun]]
*[[Laspistol]]

{{Template:40k-Imperial-Weapons}}
[[category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Angry Marines

2017-09-26T07:02:23Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Things the Angry Marines wish for */

{{awesome}}

<center>'''ANGRY MARINES!! ALWAYS ANGRY!! ALL THE TIME!!'''
'''SCREAM IT YOU COCKSUCKING ULTRAMARINE-LOVING FUCKTARD!!'''</center>
<center>[[Image:Angry_Marine_Desktop.jpg|800px]]</center>
{{Infobox Spess Mahreen Chapter
|Name = Angry Marines
|Heraldry = [[Image:Angry Marines SP.png|center|250px]]
|Battle Cry = ALWAYS ANGRY!!!!! ALL THE TIME!!!!!
|Number = Unknown
|Founding = None/Unknown
|Successors of = None /([[Desert Fangs]])
|Successor Chapters = None
|Chapter Master = [[Temperus Maximus]]
|Primarch = [[Rachnus Rageous]]
|Homeworld = [[Ultramar|Angrymar / McRage]]
|Specialty = Close combat and assault with an overwhelming excess of brutality and profanity.
|Strength = More than 1000 marines (Fuck you, Girlyman!).
|Allegiance = [[Imperium]] ('''AND DON'T YOU FUCKING FORGET IT, SHITFAG''')
|Colours = Bright yellow with a blood-red trim.
}}
[[Image:Angry Marine.jpg|thumb|right|<s>GOD</s>EMPERORPRAISEDBEHISNAMEDAMMIT!!]]

''In any society, fanatics who hate don't hate only me - they hate you, too. They hate everybody.'' 

-Elie Wiesel

The Angry Marines are, in essence, what would likely happen if /tg/ [[Mary Sue|could magically turn themselves into Spess Mehreens]] and express their opinions towards [[Matt Ward|certain]] aspects [[CS Goto|of]] the canon of 40K. They were in fact actually created by some guy using the Dawn of War army painter for the first time in ye olden days of yore. They are not the Alfa Legion; they symbolize the fa/tg/uy's love for 40K, as well as rage. Which /tg/ has in copious, albeit impotent, amounts.

Edit: "We’ve been silent because we’re reviewing our plans, our plans for Early Access, Closed Beta, Open Beta, Launch, Expansion and whether Angry Marines are a real chapter or not (they are). This also means we’re reviewing when individual things are ready at what time, and what’s included in each of these scenarios. We’re not going to talk about that yet, because we aren’t done." Canon chapter confirmed.

The Angry Marines are a popular /tg/ homebrew Chapter of [[Space Marines]], and by far the most famous homebrew to gain fame outside the realm of /tg/. They are angry for the [[Emprah]] and skittles. All the time. Angry Marine tactics focus on getting into melee as quickly as possible, and proceeding to bust open several crates of [[Rage|FUCK YOU]] in the various directions of the Imperium's enemies. Due to this, Angry Marines tend to have low BS (by low, we mean Ork boy low), but have terrifically high WS/S/I, meaning anyone getting into CQC would be [[RIP_AND_TEAR|utterly annihilated]].

There is even a [[Codex - Angry Marines]] (7th Edition) detailing the special rules required to adequately represent their rage. there is also a [[Codex - Angry Marines 8th Edition]] you can use ... even if it's not quite finished yet and the rules are not balanced at all.

The Angry Marines employ a variety of weapons notably different to the standard Space Marine arsenal. These include power heavy bolters (for melee and ranged use), dual power fists, power feet, power bats, power wrenches, and even the Predator Angrinator, a modified version of the Predator Whirlwind artillery tank that fires the Angry Marines themselves directly into the enemy ranks. They also possess a [[Legio Ruina|Titan Legion]], which is fully comprised of Angry Titans. These are detailed in Codex: ANGRY MARINES. The Angry Marines also think that pistols are for faggots who can't hit worth a damn, and so these marines <s>rarely</s> never go into battle with the traditional ''pistol+CCW'' combo, opting instead to engage opponents in mêlée combat.

Even when not in combat, the Angry Marines are so goddamn angry that even the words of their out-loud speech seem to be made with the CAPS LOCK key left on. As such, They are sometimes disparagingly referred to as "Tourettes Marines" when FUCKING RETARDS are unable to differentiate between seething anger and lolrandom cursing. The people who do not understand this are DOING IT TERRIBLY WRONG and are the real faggots. Nevertheless, properly reflecting Angry Marines' verbal communication REQUIRES that everything be typed in full-caps.

You've probably seen how Space Marines feel emotions with a strength that normal people cannot even comprehend, right? Well, the Angry Marines feel rage to an extent that leaves other Space Marines entirely speechless. You think you've ever been angry? The most rage you've ever felt is like a minor annoyance compared to what an Angry Marine feels all the time.

Some believe the Angry Marines to be [[Son of a woodsman|loyalist World Eaters]], but this is merely one of many theories floating around. Another theory is that they are the missing 2nd or 11th Legion, but it is not known what the Angry Marines think of this statement. In fact, whenever someone asks an Angry Marine about the chapter's founding history, the one asking the question is given a swift, forceful kick to the balls with a power foot.

Yet another theory is that they are successors of the [[Ultramarines|Ultramari-]]OH GOD PLEASE NOT IN THE FACE {{BLAM}}

At present, the prevailing belief is that, like the faggoty-ass [[Pretty Marines]], the Angry Marines are a first founding chapter and used to be the Eleventh Legion. However, due to [[Roboute Guilliman|Rowboat Girlyman]] accidentally hitting the backspace key when he meant to copy and paste something while typing up the Codex Astartes, the Second Legion was stricken from official records, as were the Eleventh Legion. Thus most of the Imperium and indeed the Galaxy at large doesn't know about them, even though they are not classified as any kind of secret in any way shape or form.

There are some pretty cool guys out there that believe an [[OLD MEME IS FUCKING OLD|old meme is old]]. Others disagree, using the argument [[Commissar|memes have no expiration date!]]

Should an Inquisitor ever find a planet to be rife with [[Heresy|HERESY]], the people of that world (as well as many of the adjacent ones) better hope that the nearest Chapter Fleet isn't one from the Angry Marines. Very often, the resultant fallout of their measures to purge heresy results not only in the absolute destruction of the world on which heresy was first detected, but all things within a radius of 10 sub-sectors as well. Such fruit may be borne by the Angry Marines by, for example, ramming battle barge after battle barge upon the very surface of the world itself.

The most astonishing thing about the Angry Marines is that they need no testosterone to be in as foul a mood as they are. Despite the fact that like all other Space Marines their ability to produce sex hormones is completely removed as part of their introduction, they are still very much able to act as if their blood was all replaced with testosterone.Just as planned .

Someone's trying to make a more serious version of them called the [[Desert Fangs]], via [[Deathwatch]] materials. It's pretty cool.

= The Angry Marines =

* Varied as the many accounts of the Angry Marines are, some tend to shed more light on their nature than others and are thus recollected here. Also, skittles.

= The Guardsman's "Savior"=

Guardsman "Church" of the 8th Cadian regiment was stranded with his battalion on a unknown planet surrounded by hordes of Chaos traitors. Church was almost certain he was going to die today, until, screeching down to him, was a yellow drop pod. Once it crashed down, right in front of him, crushing his commisar, and what came out was bewildering. What came out, was Angry Marines. Everyone was silent as the drop pod opened, and out came sheer terror. "WHAT THE FUCK TYPE OF LANDING WAS THAT" said one marine. "MAYBE YOU SHOULD QUIT YOUR BITCHING YOU COCKSUCKING ASSPIPE" said another. After 20 minutes of arguing they all held up their weapons and yelled to the Chaos forces, "ALWAYS ANGRY" as they charged at the enemy. Heretics fled, died, had a foot stuck up their heretical ass. But not a single traitor lived that day. After the battle they quickly left and left Church wondering " What the hell just happened"?!

== The Primarch of Rage ==

"''Lo, in the histories of the many Chapters of the Adeptus Astartes, every Primarch listed that has ever come across my sage and learned eyes, has found root and home upon a planet, which hath shaped and set in stone the character of that warrior of The Emperor that he would become.''

''Therefore, one must give pause to the Primarch of our brothers, the Angry Marines, that great warrior of rage for he hath never fell upon a planet. Nay! Legend has it he was borne upon the ethers and drifts of space, alone in his capsule save for a discarded copy of'' Battletoads ''that The Emperor had thrown out, a legendary artifact that hath fueled research into vast weapons of war that it might be unmade and erased from history.''

''When the capsule had finally been rammed into a drifting hulk of an old Imperial battleship, it is said that the Primarch was so enraged and frustrated with the vile game that he headbutted out the Adam's apple of the first survivor that he encountered, and thereafter killed every inhabitant with the remnants of the dying initial combatant.''"

''--- Historian Nwabudike'' 
''Histories of the Ill-favored Chapters''

== The Friendly Fire "Incident" of Klaxus XII ==
*From the historical records of Inquisitor Jangel, non-aligned investigator of Adeptus Astartes "Incidents". 
*Section #511: The "Friendly" Fire Incident of Klaxus XII 

<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

The records of this dire moment in Imperial history were (until I came upon them) known only to the two Space Marine Chapters that took part in the skirmish. However, only by putting the two records together is the truth found.

The [[Pretty Marines]] tell of a conflict fraught with glory against the odds, and of dire betrayal:

"''Prior to the sortie against our enemy, our glorious Chapter Master graced us with a speech. With eloquence, he spoke before the resplendent lines of the Brother-Marines. Sparkling under the twin suns, he recounted for us the beautiful victory, and of the fates of our enemies. As one we cheered, as we awaited his inevitable dance number.
 ''But lo, from the skies fell a drop pod, smashing into our forward lines and engulfing the area with thick dust. It took us only a moment to clear the air with our blow-dryers, but it was a moment too late: the Chapter Master was verily embedded lying-down onto the desert's surface face-first!''"

The Angry Marines tell the other side of the story, though in far less words due to a lacking in vocabulary beyond many four letter utterances. Hastily inserted into the annals of their Chapter, glory is simply a picture with the words "OWNED" across it, and the image of the Pretty Marines' Chapter Master unconscious on the ground, a crude mustache drawn on his face with paint, and what appears to be a set of testicles on his forehead.

So began the greatest internal feud within the Imperium.

+++++ 
Thought for the Day: ''Ruthlessness is the kindness of the wise.'' 
+++++ 

== Astartes Most Unusual ==
*''Excerpted from Hidden Imperial Histories by Adept Voliusnius Brouyt'' 
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

Of the many Space Marine Chapters that protect the good citizens of the Imperium none are as well respected, nor admired as the warriors of the Ultramarines. Such is the greatness of their deeds. Their stories are told on innumerable worlds, their reputation as the saviors of the Imperium of Man is both well deserved and proven, time and time again. Indeed, such is their martial prowess that even other Astartes can only but compare themselves forlornly inferior to those that hold Guilliman's geneseed.

This does, however, occasionally leads to friction amongst some of the more bellicose chapters of Astartes that still stubbornly refuse to yield to the wisdom of the blessed Codex Astartes. Such antagonism is best illustrated with an anecdote from an instance when the Ultramarines encountered an obscure and ill-recorded chapter whom records merely identify as the "[Angry??] Marines".

The Angry Marines had apparently chased a Tyranid splinter fleet into Ultramarine space to which they brought absolute devastation. Impressed by their sheer ferocity the blessed Calgar offered an invitation to their Chapter Master, a man identified in the records only as Temperus Maximus. However, the invitation to meet their spiritual liege was responded to with the head of the slain hive tyrant -- on which was crudely scrawled an insulting cartoon of the Ultramarines defense of Macragge as well as depictions of male genitalia -- and the message, "STILL NOT AS GOOD AS THE HEAD YOUR MOM GAVE, YOU POMPOUS FUCKING DOUCHEBAG FUCKTARDS!!!!1!"

Infuriated by such a blatant and insulting Snub, Calgar personally took it to on himself to demand an apology from the arrogant Temperus Maximus. He subsequently traveled to the offender's battlebarge's throne room in person. Unfortunately, he little expected the animalistic temperament that would greet his justified demand for obeisance, from the maniacal Temperus Maximus. The exchange between the two soon escalated into an argument, before coming to blows.

The clash between the two occurred behind closed doors, with no clue exactly what words were exchanged. Yet when the doors opened again it was Calgar that was battered and bruised, with the sacred Gauntlets of Ultramar torn from his shoulders. Only the wise counsel of the Inquisition prevented him from declaring immediate war against his unruly brethren, a war that would no doubt have cost the Imperium greatly before the <s>Ultramarines'</s> Angry Marines's inevitable victory. The story stands as a clear example of how the refusal to follow the Codex only promotes discord and strife between erstwhile brothers.

As to what occurred in the Angry Marine chambers, few can know, the only clue perhaps the jeering cry raised by the Angry Marines whenever they cross paths with the Ultramarines during campaigns. A nonsensical mantra of "STOP HITTING YOURSELF STOP HITTING YOURSELF", repeated ad infinitum. What such a bizarre and crude chant could mean, a scholar can only guess at. Ultimately, it is telling of the less than exemplary mental nature of non-codex Astartes. 

+++++ 
Thought for the Day: ''Do not ask, ''"Why kill the alien?"'' rather, ask, ''"Why not?" 
+++++ 

== Assist on Vesuvius ==

*From the personal diaries of Brother R.C. Mongler, 4th Chanian Combat Group. 

<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

My Chapter had landed on a barren little ball of rock called Vesuvius. The Inquisition had ordered us to the planet on suspicion of Chaos corruption. Surely enough, we ran into a group of Chaos Marines within a day of landing. The fools, turning their backs on the God-Emperor for whatever sick rewards they received from the deceiving Warp fiends. The battle started the second morning. Their attack was especially fierce, and my brothers and I had great trouble keeping them at bay. It seemed that for every one of them we killed, three more showed up. Our own losses were of no small concern. In a rare moment of calm, Brother-Captain Morgan confided in me that if we were not killed by these berserkers, we would almost certainly be killed by the Inquisition for failure. As our numbers dwindled, I grew concerned: surely we would all be killed, and The Emperor's work would not be carried out. We prepared for a final assault, one which had been coming for near a week of the most intense fighting I had ever seen. We surrounded a small hill, atop which stood our last Dreadnought, Brother Klarr. We saw their force coming from below. We knew this was our end. But suddenly, a shadow passed over us. Some great demon come to finish us off? No. It was a drop pod. Out of it stepped a small company of our brethren. They wore bright yellow armor, a bizarre crest upon their shoulders, unlike any Chapter I had yet heard of. A circle, with two lines crossing it and two dots in the middle - almost as if to suggest an angry face. They formed a line between us and the now charging Chaos Marines.

The Chaos Marines' bright red armor shone in the late afternoon sun, the spikes upon their shoulders menacing. The new arrivals stood fast. As the distance between the two forces began to close, there arose from these yellow warriors the loudest scream I had ever heard. It shook the ground. Even through my helmet, it made my ears ring and my skull ache. And it simply kept getting louder as their Captain's fist slowly rose into the air. As it rose to a nearly supersonic volume, I finally made out the words contained in the scream:

"''ALWAYS ANGRY!!!''"

In a chorus louder even than the Captain's scream, the soldiers returned:

"''ALL THE TIME!!!''"

Then it began.

...

Without a word, the yellow Space Marines returned to their drop pod and soon whisked away from the battlefield. There had been no more than a dozen of them, not a single word exchanged between our two Chapters. To this day, I have never seen any Marines fight with such rage and fury. The mass of enemy berserkers was reduced to mere chunks, legs, arms, heads, and craters full of blood. Bits of red armor lay strew about the field. We had not even had the chance to advance by the time the screaming - both theirs and the enemy's - was over. I turned to my Captain and asked, "''Who were they?''"

"''I had thought it was rumor, but no. Emperor bless us all, those were the Angry Marines.''"

+++++ 
Thought for the Day: ''The Emperor protects.'' 

+++++ 

== The Salvation of Calamitis Prime ==

*Loading excerpt from ''Tales of Valor: Reports from the Ork Invasion of Calamitis Prime''. 

<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

The PDF sold their lives dearly to stop the greenskin advance upon our primary Hive, but on the horde came. There would be no escape-- but for the Planetary Governor, whose escape shuttle was prepped to leave before the attack had even began.

As our leader left us to die, we prayed to The Emperor for deliverance while we continued risking our lives to protect his works. Glory be to his swift answer.

A yellow Thunderhawk, identified as ''Necrogoth Fuckshit'', descended like a falling star, the much larger transport vehicle crushing the smaller one as it demolished the landing pad, and through the fire and smoke the mighty figure of a Space Marine strode forth. I will never forget the seething expression on his face as he looked upon us, then upon the Hive, and then upon the xenos.

The Marine did not pause, he drew his chainsword and charged down the stairs with a battlecry upon his lips, screaming "''FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-''" or something of the sort, a cry with no end. Even as he disappeared into the Hive we heard him clearly, even as we saw the small yellow figure leap from the Hive into the throng of green below we heard him. Drop pods followed as more Marines smashed into the horde, more yellow armored Marines echoing the endless cry.

The xenos were crushed utterly, and still screaming in rage, the Space Marines ran up the Hive once more, to where the Governor still stood staring at the crushed wreckage of his escape shuttle in disbelief. The Marines poured into their Thunderhawk, but the Marine from before ran right up to the cowardly official, and his finger pressing painfully against the man's forehead, ended his warcry at last,:

"''-UUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOU!''"

Rather unceremoniously, the Governor was then pitched off the top of the Hive, with his underwear pulled up over his head. 

+++++ 
Thought for the Day: ''To question is to doubt.'' 
+++++ 

== They called me a Cunt ==

Extracted from the testimony of Inquisitor Seros

Extract #221B, as follows...

During the 38th millenium, a young scribe was tasked by the Adminstratum to launch a complete inventorial investigation into an Adeptus Astartes chapter listed as the ”Angry Marines”. For some reason the chapters quartermaster had not supplied the Adminstratum on Holy Terra with copies of the chapters procurement's and requisitions. And as the Mechanicum wasn't obliged to supply reports about deliveries to individual units, the Administratum had no idea of the current state of the chapters inventory, upkeep or even numbers of Astartes. The promising young scribe chosen for this task was named Arturius, he had a flawless record and knew instinctively how to deal with bureacracy. As the chapter had not even supplied the Administratum with a home world, the scribe was sent to the commander of the “somthingth” company, a marine named Shitkicker. After months of travelling aboard a supply vessel, Arturius could finally get on with his mission. The “Somethingth” company was currently deployed on the world Akdov Prime, and was in the final stages of liberating the planet from rebels and heretics. As the small craft boarded the battle barge “IDONTCAREYOUNAMETHEDAMNTHING”, Arturius braced himself for a meeting with a chapter which the elder scribes only talked about in hushed whispers. But to his surprise, when the airlock doors opened there were no one there to greet him. He wondered if they might have misunderstood the ID signal he sent when he asked for permission to board the immense ship? Slowly he made his way through the corridors of the battle barge, walking intently towards sounds that sounded suspiciously like swearing and punching. The noises increased in strength and clarity as he stopped just in front of a large bulkhead with massive dents in the thick metal. He took a deep breath and pressed the button to open the bulkhead doors and before he knew it, he stood eye to eye with the quartermaster of the ship. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STARING AT YOU BATHROBE-WEARING SCROTUMGOBBLER?!” Arturius was taken aback by the sheer volume at which the yellow clad Astartes operated. “Oh, ehm well you see Sir, i've been sent by the Adminis...” and before he could even finish his sentence the quartermaster had removed his helmet and planted it a mere inch from the young scribes head. “YOU COME FROM WHERE?! DON'T FUCKING TELL ME THE DICKSNIFFERS FROM THE FUCKING 'LIBARY' SENT YOU?!” he shouted at a deafening level, whilst spraying Arturius with spittle.

“I'm afraid that i am, oh thou protector of humanity, they've sent me because...” again he was interrupted. “I COULDN'T GIVE A LUBE-SMELLING JIZZPOT AS TO WHY THOSE TAINTFONDLING NERDS WOULD SEND YOU HERE, I'M NOT SORTING ALL OF THESE BOLTERS OUT JUST SO THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO JERK OFF TO”. Arturius had a feeling he would get nowhere with the quartermaster, who now was so annoyed that a vein were throbbing alarmingly on the side of his bald head. With great haste he backed out of the disorganized arsenal and ventured further into the ship, towards the bridge.

Unlike most of the Imperiums bigger vessels, this battle barge didn't have any markings to indicate as to which direction one would proceed to a certain location. The only thing close to it were lewd drawings and four letter cursewords scribbled on the walls. After almost an hour of guessing as to where the bridge might be, having only depictions of genitalia with jet-engines attached to them to go by, he had finally arrived. Again he heard muffled shouting behind the immense bulkhead, and thought that caution was needed for this possibly violent encounter. Never in his wildest nightmares could he have expected Adeptus Astartes to behave in this manner. With a trembling finger, he pressed the button to open the bulkhead and in an instant the shouting became clear. “I DON'T GIVE TWO LUMPS OF SHIT ABOUT WHAT THE GOVERNOR ASSHAT THINKS, WE'RE THROWING IN ALL OF THE ANGRY GANGS!!!”. “With all due respect my lord, we don't have enough pods for all t..”, “FUCK YOU BUTTPIRATE, THEN WE'LL FUCKING LAND THIS PIECE OF DICKSPIT ON THAT SHITHOLE EXCUSE OF A PLANET!”. Captain Shitkicker had not even registered the arrival of the nervous scribe, and with a very unsteady voice he spoke, “Excuse me your excellency, may I have a word?”. The Captain sharply turned his head towards Arturius, and with only three strides he stood face to face to the trembling Administratum emissary. “AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!” the Captain shouted, not even breaking eye contact for a millisecond. Almost soiling himself, Arturius spoke up; “Revered Captain of the glorious Adeptus Astartes, this humble scribe have ventured forth from the Administratum in order to f...” “YOU'RE FROM THE FUCKING 'LIBARY'?!” the captain roared, and now his eyes flashed with a rage even greater than when Arturius had arrived at the bridge. “THAT FUCKING DOES IT, I'M COMPLETELY BLOODY SICK OF THIS!”. Seemingly from nowhere the furious Captain Shitkicker produced a melta-grenade, pulled the pin out but kept his hand firmly on the safety latch. Again he took three angry strides towards the Mechanicum Officer that he had verbally abused before, stuck the grenade in his hand and screamed mere millimeters from the face of this Servant of the Omnissiah. “IF YOU EVEN MOVE AN INCH OR SPEW ANYMORE BULLSHIT FROM THAT CUM-ENCRUSTED SPHINCTER YOU CALL A MOUTH, THEN I WILL KICK THIS GRENADE FROM YOUR SHITSMEARED HANDS AND DESTROY THAT FUCKING CONSOLE CONTROLLING THE SHIP!!!”. Even under all the cybernetic modifications you could see the already pale Engiseer going full white, knowing full well that the Captain meant every word.
“HEY PILOTING ASSWIPES, LAND THIS FUCKING OUTHOUSE ON THAT FUCKING SHITSTAIN!” Captain Shitkicker again roared whilst pointing to Akdov Prime, even from orbit you could see the massive fires in the hive-cities, where the Imperial Loyalists battled against the rebel scum. The servitors looked up and responded with a “Yes my lord” in that neutral voice of theirs. The mighty battle barges engines fired up and started to move the immense ship towards the planets surface, the void shields being calibrated on the move to account for the pressure of the atmosphere. The Captain had now retired to a large room adjacent to the bridge, and by the sounds and constant swearing, Arturius knew the mighty Space Marine was looking for something. “AH THERE IT FUCKING IS, THIS IS GOING TO BE MEGA-FUCKING-KICKASS-AWESOMESAUCE” the Captain gleefully exclaimed as he had found an ancient power-weapon of some description.

Before Arturius could investigate the issue further, the ship was well on it's way to the surface with the creaking sound making it abundantly clear that the ship wasn't too happy about the sudden atmospheric pressures and gravity pulling at its massive frame. After some serious piloting from the Servitors, the ship was stable a couple of kilometers above the surface of the battle scarred planet. Without even a single curse, obscenity or threat, Captain Shitkicker ran at full speed down the corridor that young Arturius had arrived from. Having given up on handling the situation as per any protocol he knew of, he ran after the Astartes to the best of his abilities. After almost losing the large Astartes in the corridors of the battle barge he finally caught up with him, standing in front of a Vox-console trying to plug into the ships loudspeakers. “ALRIGHT YOU DICKBADGERS, WE'RE OFF TO KICK ASS!” the Captain roared into the microphone he held in his right hand, violently gesturing with the other. “REPORT TO THE FUCKING DROPPODS ON THE FUCKING DOUBLE!”, after screaming the last order into the Mic, Captain Shitkicker again made off towards the hangars of the mighty ship. Arturius had abandoned all pretense of knowing what to do at this point, thinking that it might be best to report his failings to the Administratum and receive his punishment instead of spending another minute aboard this floating madhouse. He knew he had come from the hangars when he arrived, so again he followed the mad Astartes. After just a minute of intense running he had arrived in the hangars, seeing Captain Shitkicker violently screaming at a group of Sergeants near the droppods. He tried to make his way to his own craft, but after walking just a few paces he was lifted up by a pair of extremely strong hands, and he heard a voice bellowing behind him; “FUCK YOU NERD, YOU'RE COMING WITH ME ON THE THUNDERHAWK, I NEED A SURFBOARD”. It was one of the Veterans of the chapter, adorned in the yellow and red livery with the strange crest upon their chests. Powerless to protest, Arturius was dragged towards on the Thunderhawks in the hangar, intensely praying for his life.

Going through the flight checks which basically consisted of banging on the crafts instruments and swearing loudly, the pilot started the engines of the mighty Thunderhawk. Arturius was mushed in between two massive Space Marines and was holding on for dear life as the craft suddenly jerked forwards and started speeding up out of the hangar. Within a moments notice the mighty Thunderhawk was in a screaming descent towards one the main hives of Akdov Prime, and Arturius feared for his life. The Astartes on the other hand were just laughing manically or/and loudly screaming obscenities at each other, which must have been a bizarre pre-battle ritual of the chapter. As the craft closed in for a landing, the Astartes suddenly started chanting their battlecry, “ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME! ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME!” as they rushed out of the landing craft. Not even having time to react, the poor scribe was again picked up by the grumpy Veteran, “LOOK, NOW THE FUCKING FUN STARTS!” he roared into Arturius ear as he carried him into battle like a sack of doorknobs. He had no idea why the mighty Astartes had picked him up in the first place, and were know properly starting to fear for his life, his purpose became clear after they entered a hastily set up base of operations in what used to be a beautiful plaza. “FIX MY FUCKING POWERBAT YOU SPHINCTER!” someone roared in his already ringing ears, and felt something being dropped in his lap. “I.. I don't know how to repair weaponry such as this!” the young man exclaimed, with the Astartes just staring at him. “USELESS FAGGOTROCIOUS CUNT!” he screamed as he threw the scribe right into a pillar.

He woke up days later in a hospital, dazed and confused. Next to his bed stood a man in inquisitorial livery. “I see you too have had a run-in with the... Angry Marines” the man said slowly. Without thinking he offered the man a seat next to his bed but the Inquisitor stated “Uh, no thanks. I'd rather stand... My name is Seros, Inquisitor Seros. And I understand you have some information about the Angry Marines unwillingness to cooperate with Imperial officials, i'm currently in dire need of such information” the man said. Arturius could swear that the Inquisitors buttcheeks had tightened when he mentioned the name 'Angry Marines'. “Now, let me take down you testimony, and together we might put an end to the madness that is the 'Angry Marines', these subhuman morons who dare call themselves Astartes.”....

+++++ 
The Inquisition never forgets'' 
+++++ 

== The Life of an Asshole ==

* From the records of Governor Tamel of Pathos Secundus.
* File #34476A: Captain Asshole
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

A boy was born in the year 895.M38, on Pathos Secundus. Little is recorded of his parentage. His father was a Guardsman, known only to be missing and presumed dead. His mother died in childbirth. The pregnancy had no complications, and so an autopsy was conducted. Wounds throughout the mother's uterus and all along the birth canal indicated extreme trauma. Video of the birth confirmed the medical examiner's suspicions: he had come out cuntpunching (sic). 

The child spent his youth in and out of various orphanages and foster homes. Several of his caretakers attempted to name him, but whenever anyone asked him his name, he responded only by punching them in the throat. He was regarded as mad and dangerous at the very least; many believed he harbored some mutation or even the mark of Chaos. At the age of ten, however, he finally found a home. An Angry Marine Quartermaster had made planetfall to procure supplies, and the young boy happened to be in the area. The Marine shouted to him, "''HEY, ASSHOLE, BRING ME THAT FUCKING HAND TRUCK IN THE CORNER!''" 

The youth approached the hardened battle-brother and kicked him squarely in the groinplate, breaking two of his toes but making not a sound and shedding not a tear. The Angry Marines had found a new recruit. 

At the time Asshole was inducted, the Chapter Master of the Angry Marines had decreed that new recruits should become standard Codex scouts. The issue was put to a vote, and the chapter at large declared this decision to be "''COMPLETELY FUCKING FAGGOTROCIOUS,''" however the decree stood for a time on the basis that the Chapter Master did it "''JUST TO PISS YOU OFF, YOU WORTHLESS TWATS!''" 

This did not well accommodate young Asshole. The one thing they could never teach him to do was aim, and he spent far longer than normal languishing in the 10th Company. Finally, in 176.M39, during the Scouring of Erhlinger Prime, he proved himself. After emptying an entire magazine into an Ork horde with no effect, Asshole abandoned his cover, howled madly into the sky, and broke his sniper rifle neatly in half across his knee. He then charged the band, tearing limbs from any greenskin that stood in his way, until he was standing face-to-face with the Boss Mek. Asshole took the two halves of his ruined rifle and spitted the Ork from both ends of his digestive track-- right through his flash kustom 'ardpantz, no less. The remaining xenos turned tail and ran. For his heroism, Asshole was immediately inducted to the 5th Company and promoted to the rank of Sergeant. Nevertheless, the Chapter Master shortly thereafter judged that the newbies were 'pissed off enough', and reinstated the Angry Gangs. 

Asshole rose quickly through the ranks, finally becoming Brother-Captain of the Battle Barge ''Killfuck Soulshitter'' in 722.M39. During his career, he developed a special hatred of Eldar, and would often be heard to claim that "''THEY MAY AS WELL BE GODDAMN PRETTY MARINES FOR ALL THEIR FAIRYASSED PANTSHITTERY!!''" In 756.M39, the ''Killfuck Soulshitter'' was called to push back an incursion on the Coluphid Sector by Eldar. The campaign was a terrifying success, and in its last moments, Captain Asshole confronted the Farseer Turiel and her daughter Sorith, one of the Seer Council, personally. Breaking Sorith and casting her blithely aside in one swift blow, the Captain approached the Farseer, shaking with rage. Before she could react, he slammed her to the ground, removed his groinplate, and raped the Eldar psyker with a brutality she no doubt ever imagined in her 424 years. As he finished, he rose, readjusted his armor, and looked the horrified Sorith in her eyes, saying "''I FUCKED YOUR MOM!''" He turned and left, letting the two witches steal into the Webway. A Marine in Asshole's retinue, puzzled, asked "''WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET THOSE DYKES GET AWAY, YOU RETARDED COCKSICKLE?''" In an astonishing display of restraint, Asshole replied simply "''THOSE SPACE WHORES AREN'T THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN PLAN AHEAD, YOU DICKWEED!''" 

In 989.M39, Captain Asshole received a pizza with mushrooms instead of pineapple, and suffered an aneurysm while pummeling those responsible. Thus, his Battle-Brothers cybernetically mounted him into one of the Chapter's [[Dreadnought|Dreadnoughts]]-- or, as they prefer to call them within the Angry Marines, a [[Belligerent Engine]]. 

Thirty years later, the Chapter met the same Eldar again on the field of battle. The carnage played out much the same as before. All that remained were Farseer Turiel, and Sorith -- and the Belligerent Engine in which Captain Asshole was fused. A terrible din was heard. Suddenly, Captain Asshole's turgid member had punched right through the armor plating of the Dreadnought, with the Angry Marine himself in tow, and lodged itself between the buttocks of the Farseer with the force of 10 supernovae. He turned to Sorith and spoke his last words to her before slaughtering them both. 

"''EVEN IN DEATH, I STILL FUCK YOUR MOM.''" 

Captain Asshole, victorious, then breathed his last on the field of battle.

+++++ 
Thought for the Day: ''Hatred is the purest expression of love for The Emperor.'' 
+++++ 

== From the Flames of Furfaggotry ==

*Imperial historical logs; as compiled by Commissar T.G. Wang, 137th Trondheim Regiment of the Imperial Guard 
*''A synopsis of the events preceding the destruction of all heretical forces on Tertius Gamma follows'' 
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

The planet of Tertius Gamma was besieged by mutants of Chaos, the insipidness of which had never been before seen in this sector of space. The furry abominations, committing the hideous blasphemy of wearing sacred power armor as if in service to the God-Emperor, had been leveling city after city for days. And now... they had advanced upon the capitol city, the last bastion of humanity.

However, little did anyone realize that the incursion had been noticed by one of the greatest Chapters of all Space Marines -- whose mighty Battle Barge was even now entering orbit around the planet -- the Angry Marines. 

"''GODDAMMIT, WHY AREN'T WE ON THE GROUND YET?''" screamed an armored visage. What remained of his face had been twisted recognizably by sheer rage.

"''Sir, we can't enter the atmosphere that quickly, we'd burn u-''" The voice of the Servitor was cut short as he was crushed beneath the sheer weight of the Marine's armor as he jumped into the pilot terminal. 
Thus, the Battle Barge, the ''Litany of Litany's Litany'', began its screaming descent towards the besieged planet. 

All the while, a cacophony of sickly sounds continued to permeate from the murky planet below.
 "''Yiff... yiff... yiff... yiff...''"
 It was maddening; sufficiently so that any lesser man would have taken his own life. But it had no effect on the stalwart Marines of rage save to infuriate them like never before. 

At the same time (and unknown to their brethren on the first Battle Barge, or vice versa), a second Battle Barge of the Chapter, the ''Maximum FUCK'', hovered at the ready directly over the capital city. Upon it, poised the payload of Adeptus Astartes Angry Marines, prepared to make planetfall.

Captain Temperus of the 3rd Company watched and waited, his eyes fixed firmly on the screens showing a wave of mutants overrunning the planetary defense force positions. He felt his blood boil as he looked upon the livery adorning their armor, their mockery of everything they stood for. Their faces were an abomination. The heretical glee, visible on their faces even from space, angered the Brother Captain even moar.

The comms-servant gave a silent nod, and although it seemed as though he hadn't seen it, Temperus was well aware. It was time-- but he hadn't the patience for any conventional strike this time.

"''CUNT SNIFFING FAGGOT MOTHERFUCKERS!''" He bellowed with rage. With the full force of his forehead, Captain Temperus struck the large red button on the console in front of him, destroying it in the process. Great shields on the side of the Battle Barge turned into place over the front of the craft, forming a giant battering ram shaped like a middle finger.

The ''Maximum FUCK'' began its nose-first descent into the atmosphere. 

The fighting around the capitol city grew more and more fierce. The furred mutants were sending their numbers to die beneath the walls of the city, each one attempting to use their bladed weapon to try and chip away at the hardened rockcrete. At first the defenders jeered at their foolhardiness. But as more corpses piled around the walls, the more precarious became the city's chances.

"''Keep up that heavy bolter fire!''" the Commissar screamed over the din of the gun emplacements. 
"''Bring up the flamers! Show these abominations the cleansing power of The Emperor!''" 
Just then a Servitor scuttled up to the Commissar's side.

"''Milord, crafts from off-world are making planetfall. It appears to be the Adeptus Astartes.''"

"''Ah, at last. Now we shall TRULY turn the tide against this filth!''" beamed the Commissar.

In revelry and decadence, the furries fought and continued to advance. The city would soon fall, there was none alive on Tertius Gamma who could stop them now. 

Suddenly, all heads turned skywards, eyes scanning above to find the source of a terrible noise. The two Angry Marines Battle Barges collided sides-first against one another as they plummeted towards a single target. The mutants realized that target was them.

The Commissar turned his eyes skywards as the enemy fell silent and a great shadow fell across the lands.

"''What the fuck...''" the Commissar uttered under his breath, in disbelief. 

"''FUCK YOU, I WAS HERE FIRST!!!''" screamed the commander aboard the ''Litany of Litany's Litany'', as he piloted his barge directly into the heart of the mutant hordes below.

"''NO FUCK YOU, I DEPLOYED THE FINGER!!!''" Captain Temperus cursed back. 

Traitors fled, mutants hid, deviants cried out for their dark gods to save them. As one, then two Battle Barges slammed into the enemy lines. 
With a terrifying roar, the planet itself was torn asunder! 
Tertius Gamma was no more.

+++++ 
Thought for the Day: ''Suffer not the Furry to live.'' 
+++++ 

== Tempting Rage ==

*''Excerpted from personal correspondence addressed to PFC. Munchaussen, then stationed in the Argos sector'' 
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

The aspiring Champion of Khorne called out to the Angry Marines before him just as they prepared to charge his host of daemons and World Eaters. 

"''Can you not see the similarities between your battle prowess and ours? Khorne fills you with his wrath in battle, but you do not take time even to notice. Join us, and together we can destroy all within our path! Sink deeper into your anger with the full blessings of the Blood God!''" 

The assembled Angry Marines took pause, and considered the words of the World Eater Champion. Chaplain Brusiarch then stepped from the front ranks of the Angry Marines' line, turned, and backhanded the closest Angry Marine. The yellow-clad Battle-Brothers then turned their gaze to meet his. 

Brusiarch gestured towards the aspiring Champion of Chaos, pointing to the bolt pistol that the Champion wielded in his left hand. The Chaplain shouted to his brother Marines, "''YOU DON'T LISTEN TO FAGGOTS, YOU COCKSICLES, YOU FUCKING KILL THEM!!!''" 

The previously backhanded Space Marine then stood up, his faceplate shattered from the force of the blow, and shouted the battle cry of the Angry Marines, "''ALWAYS ANGRY!!! ALL THE TIME!!!''" 

The Angry Marines then realized their folly at listening -- even if only for a moment -- to an insufferable faggot. He dared consider himself as angry as they were but armed himself not with a second chainsword or power fist, but a pussified ''bolt pistol''?? 

The next few seconds witnessed the roar of Cocknocker jump packs, the whoosh of battle-brothers being launched at the daemonic host from the Predator Angrinator's, and Brother Chaplain Brusiarch's battle cry of "''FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-,''" as he charged the World Eaters' line. 

Chaos was fucked. 

+++++ 
Thought for the Day: ''Zeal is its own excuse.'' 
+++++ 

== Acclimating to the Angry Marines ==
*''A brief account of life with the ''Angry Marines'', and their Reclusiarch,'' Mofo
*''As lived by ''Brother-Sergeant Kollon'', Imperial Fists'' 
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

I, Brother-Sergeant Kollon, of the Imperial Fists have been attached to the Angry Marine Chapter. In my first week training with our brothers, I had the privilege, of sorts, to encounter none other than their chapter's Reclusiarch, Mofo. After completing the morning firing rites alongside the Angry Marines, I made for the closest lavatory to relieve myself before battle practice began. The firing rites, as dictated by the Codex Astartes, involve squads honing their skills with ranged weaponry. While my fellow Astartes of the Imperial Fists attained perfect accuracy and precision with our bolters and sniper rifles, our less restrained Battle-Brothers spent most of the time missing their targets with the few bolters they had on hand. After expending his ammunition, each marine would charge down the firing lane to smash the pristine target with his bolter, his hands, and anything else within reach. We began to suspect that this non-codex treatment of ranged weaponry was the cause of the shortage of bolters in the Angry Marines' armory aboard the Litany of Litany's Litany.

I had deactivated and removed the appropriate sections of my power-armor, noticing the raised dais in the center of the lavatory chamber about which all the commodes faced. Many print copies of the legendary Codex Astartes lay upon this dais, and I found it odd that the Angry Marines would partake in the custom of reading while relieving oneself like so many of the Imperium's cultures do. I had just sat down upon one of the commodes along the bulkhead when Reclusiarch Mofo entered the chamber.

He wore his full set of armor, not even having removed his helm. He is larger than the average Space Marine and carried his signature Crozius, Fag-Basher. It is platinum, and shaped like a great fist holding an Imperial Aquila token with the middle finger extended.

The Reclusiarch tilted his head slightly in acknowledgment of my presence and sat himself down upon a commode near the one I was seated upon. I quickly expelled the contents of my bowel, and experienced another tortured minute while the Reclusiarch violently did the same with much loud swearing and oath making. It was then that I realized that the commodes in this lavatory did not have a bidet function like most toilets of the modern Imperium. I had just turned to ask the Reclusiarch how his Chapter went about cleansing themselves when I saw him reach out to one of the copies of the Codex Astartes. He opened it, and Emperor preserve us all, ripped a page from it, and began cleaning his backside! I cried out,

"This...THIS IS HERESY!!"

The Reclusiarch became a blur, a lightning strike of motion. Instantly his crozius was alight in his hand, its power field sending blue energy flicking out from its surface. "HERESY!!! WHERE!!?? WHERE'S THE HERESY, YOU FISTFUCK ARSE-STRUMMER!!??," he shouted at max vox amp. He stood there, his head rapidly scanning the entire room for any sign of heresy, with the soiled page of Guilliman's life's work still wedged in his backside. It was the most astonishing sight I have ever seen in my centuries of service, and before my gen-enhanced senses could even register it, he had planted Fag-Basher in the bulkhead just centimeters from my head. "DON'T FUCKIN' STARTLE ME LIKE THAT, YOU FUCKING CUNTBREATHED, PISS-ENCRUSTED, ARSEWART!!!!!!" he roared right in my face. Mofo then turned back to his toilet and angrily finished cleaning himself with the torn codex page. He closed his armor and ripped Fag-Basher back out of the wall, causing me to duck. As he walked through the portal to the lavatory, he turned and shouted, "BATTLE PRACTICE STARTS IN THREE MINUTES FUCKFACE, SO BREAK IT OFF AND GET A FUCKING MOVE ON!!! IF YOU'RE LATE, I'M GONNA REPLACE ALL OF THIS TOILET PAPER," as he gestured to the copies of the Codex Astartes "WITH YOUR HANDS!!!"

He then stormed down the hallway, leaving me stunned on the toilet. I looked at the copies of the Codex Astartes, a holy work written by the Emperor's own loyal son and the basis for everything I have lived my long life for as a Space Marine. I had the choice of defacing the codex, or undergoing the foulest penance I had ever been threatened with. This was only the first week of a decades long deployment with this Chapter!! Had the Emperor abandoned me? 

+++++ 
Thought for the Day: ''Heresy must be met with hatred.'' 
+++++ 

== Ruination of the Black Legion Warband on Tormus Octavion ==
*''The Further Misadventures of Mofo, ''Reclusiarch'' of the ''Angry Marines'' 
*''Compiled from the Mission Logs of'' Commissar John Fuklaw'' of the ''Angry Marines'' Chapter of the Adeptus Astartes, by the Imperial Archiving Services Staff
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

Mofo, Reclusiarch of the Angry Marines, finished his oaths to the Emprah. Promises, made to his God, as to just how badly he would RIP THE FUCKING COLONS RIGHT OUT OF THOSE PENULTIMATE FAGGOTS!

Mofo recited his promise to himself as ''The Bird'', the [[Thunderhawk]] they were riding in, jerked and swerved. They were flying close to the ground to avoid detection. Mofo recalled how the enemy had made the very serious mistake of taunting Brother-Captain Raeg, several hours earlier. 

-----

"Come and get us, striplings!" Their leader had said, his fat metal ass humming and whirring even through the pict feed. "You cannot penetrate our void shields from your precious battle barge, and your ground forces will not stop our ritual in time. The warp portal is nearly complete, and soon this whole planet shall be consumed by Chaos!" Then the faggot went on and on about how great he is and how he has such a FUCKING HARDON FOR HIMSELF!!!!

"IMMA FUCKING RIP THAT COCKSUCKER IN PIECES, THEN EAT THOSE PIECES AND SHIT THEM OUT!!!!" Raeg had shouted. So loud was his exclamation, the techfags in the engine rooms had heard him. "FIRE UP THE ENGINES, WE'RE RAMMING THE FUCK OUT OF THAT SHIELD WITH THE WHOLE SHIP!!!"

"FUCK THAT SHIT, I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA," Mofo had interjected.

The Captain was having none of it. "FUCK YOU, THAT FAGGOT IS GONNA REGRET THE DAY HE FIRST BELIEVED IN THOSE SHITEATING CHAOS GODS ALMOST AS MUCH AS HE IS GONNA REGRET THE DAY HE FUCKING CALLED ME!!!"

It had been difficult to convince Raeg of his plan, but the chapter had already wrecked two battle barges in recent years during the course of just one campaign. The techno-cockgobblers on Mars said they were not gonna make any more for his chapter if they kept on wrecking them every time the enemy used a void shield. Mofo had been his most diplomatic, "WITH RESPECT CAPTAIN, FUCK YOU AND THE OBSCURA THAT BURST FROM THE CONDOMS YOU SWALLOWED!! IMMA GO DOWN THERE, WRECK THAT FAGGOT'S SHIT, THEN OPEN THE SHIELDS SO YOU CAN LAUNCH THE DROP-PODS AND QUIT YOUR BITCHING!!!"

Much back and forth arguing had occurred, but Mofo's plan was agreed upon. Soon the Reclusiarch was thundering down through the atmosphere with a techmarine and cockknocker squad in tow. "REMEMBER THE PLAN, ASSFAGGOT?" Mofo inquired.

"FUCK YEAH I REMEMBER, YOU GO HAVE FUN, AND WE DO ALL THE FUCKING WORK!!!" Techmarine Indignatus replied.

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M GONNA HAVE FUN!!!" said Mofo.

The thunderhawk closed in on the void shielded city. The Chaos Space Marines and logic engines detecting their low flying craft entirely too late. The pilot servitor aimed just above the wall surrounding the fortress as it had computed were its instructions from the screaming and shouting the Reclusiarch had done before takeoff. The top of the walls had a thin slot where the void shields did not extend, but this space was not big enough to permit passage of an aircraft the size of a thunderhawk. Facts like this did not deter Angry Marines. The thunderhawk smashed against the lowest extension of the void shield, the uppermost sections of the craft being sheared off from the collision. The flaming remains of the craft shot over the parade grounds, and into the crenelated walls of the fortress proper.

"GET TO FUCKING WORK!!! THERE IS MUCH ASS TO BE BEATEN FOR THA EMPRAH THIS DAY!!!!" roared Mofo as he and his fellow Angry Marines removed themselves from the wreck. The Techmarine and cockknocker squad moved off to disengage or sabotage the void shields, whichever came first. Mofo had a different target.

-----

Thragarkis, the twice living, great servant of the Chaos, Warlord Triumphant of his warband of the Black Legion, gloated to himself in his throne room. "Oh this will be a mighty victory against the weak Imperium" he chortled.

"Yes master," said Aruel, his mortal savant.

"I have heard a report of intruders in this fastness, go and watch over the ritual. Insure that no mistakes are made. I would be very angry should a mistake be made over worries about a single crashed thunderhawk."

"As you desire master, your great work shall be completed, the gods shall be honored!" Aruel hurried from the throne room to carry out his master's orders.

Thragarkis looked through the fortress layouts in his tactical display, and compared them to the reports he was hearing over the vox channels his fellow Black Legionaries used. There was much fighting going on in the lower levels, and out upon the walls. Perhaps the rumors were true about this...'Angry Chapter'. No matter, there were no reports of violence in the passages leading to his sanctum or the ritual chamber beyond. He couldn't afford to let the psykers worry, they needed all their concentration for this. He would not allow his greatest work to be undone now, not when it was so close to completion.

Suddenly, he heard a blast from the side of his chamber. He turned to see a black armored Space Marine approach him through a ragged hole in the wall, a chaplain, and yes, there was his Crozius alight and ready as well. Bizarre that the Crozius, normally a vaunted and holy relic to his loyalist 'brothers', be shaped to form so crude an insult rather than some divine symbol of his chapter. This was a different chapter indeed.

"YOU, MECHANICAL DICKSUCKER, IMMA FUCKING BREAK YOUR METAL ASS!!" the figure roared.

Yes, very different indeed.

"Unlikely, little Chaplain. Soon, daemons will pour out from this fortress, you cannot stop them without getting through me, and I am Thragarkis! The twice living, ender of worl-."

"OH SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!" The figure charged! Most approached his unholy sarcophagus with some trepidation, but not this one!

Mofo let loose a horrid string of obscenities as he charged toward the pretentious faggot. Thragarkis fired off several rounds from its twin linked autocannons, but Mofo was so angry he nimbly dodged them, hellbent on getting at the metal bitch and letting him know just how much the Emprah hated him. Mofo dodged inside the dreadnought's guard, and planted his Crozius, Fag-Basher, into the front armor of the fucking thing. Thragarkis balled up his powerfist, and smashed Mofo solidly. Mofo was thrown back by the blow, but no sooner had he touched the ground than he was charging again. As the dreadnought launched another punch, Mofo leapt over the powerfist and threw himself on the front of the sarcophagus so he looked eye-to-eye with the vision port.

"JUDGEMENT, MOTHERFUCKER, IT'S COMING!!!" Mofo swore. With all his gene-enhanced strength, Mofo punched the vision block of Thragarkis's sarcophagus. Punch after punch, blow after blow he rained upon the dreadnought's vision port. All the while the dreadnought fired off autocannon rounds at random, his powerfist desperately trying to grab the chaplain and remove him from his chassis. "YOU" *punch* "PIECE" *punch* "OF" *punch* "SHIT" *punch* "GET" *punch* "OUT" *punch* "HERE!"

At last, the vision block shattered, and Mofo's fist drove forward into the amniotic tomb of Thragarkis. Foul liquids gushed out around Mofo's arm as he fished around inside the tank. At last he found Thragarkis' mortal form squirming around at the bottom. He grasped the fucker by the neck, and pulled his head out of the hole he made in the sarcophagus. It was a disgusting thing, like a wet white turd with the gratuitous number of 8 pointed fag marks carved and tattooed here and there. Thragarkis looked through hazy eyes at his killer, and trembled. How could the dark gods forsake their loyal servant like this?

"I GOT A MESSAGE FROM THE EMPRAH!!!" said Mofo. He then reared back his free arm, as if to throw another punch. Like lightning his arm shot forward into an accusing finger pointed right in Thragarkis' face, "FUCK YOU!!!" Then, grasping the fucker's neck with both hands, Mofo headbutted him repeatedly, his hardened helm smashing into Thragarkis' skull, caving in his head. When the turd's face looked like a cereal bowl, Mofo stopped. The last neural stutters of the heretic's dying brain caused the dreadnought to stutter, and fall onto its back.

Mofo neatly flipped forward, grabbing Fag-Basher on the way, and landing upright next to the dead faggot. Just as he landed, the set of doors leading into the adjoining ritual chamber opened. "My Lord, the void shields are down! Drop pods rain upon us. Your legion brothers await your words...Ohhhh-."

"TELL THEM THEY'RE ABOUT TO GET THEIR SHIT PUNCHED IN!" Mofo roared, as he sprinted towards the stunned savant.

+++++ 
Thought for the Day: '' My Armor is Contempt, my Shield is Disgust, my Sword is Hatred. In The Emprah's name, let none survive...'' 
+++++ 

== The Fires of Forosia ==
*''Excerpted from "The Rolls of Redemption through Ultimate Sacrifice", an Ordo Xenos inventory of Exterminatus actions carried out in the Segmentum Pacificus'' 
*''Provided by Aerkon Pollock, last surviving adjutant to Planetary Governor Gorm Leass, 655.M42'' 
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

In the middle of year 654.M41, the Forosian system was invaded by a large fleet of Draethri Xenos. The ships overwhelmed the orbital defenses in rapid fashion, and dropships swarmed over the hive cities and manufactorums in a fast and brutal raid. Fortunately for Forosia, astropathic messages pleading for aid were answered. However, the nearest response force consisted of two battle barges belonging to the "Angry Marine" Astartes Chapter.
The Astartes response to the alien incursion was so much swifter and so much more brutal than the initial Draethri invasion, that the Imperial forces who had been fighting a desperate defense against the Xenos suffered numerous casualties due to entire regiments standing dumbstruck and horrified by the violence they were witnessing. Such cases resulted in troopers forgetting to defend themselves or pay attention to the enemies left in front of them for fear of missing a second of the action. Such behavior seems believable given the reports of Angry Marine Terminator squads ripping off sections of their sacred armor and beating numerous aliens to death with them, and other reports of the Angry Marines force feeding Draethri captives their own bleeding innards.
It was later discovered that the Draetheri fleet was an amalgamation of ships from several worlds their race had inhabited in the southern reaches of Segmentum Pacificus. These worlds were in the path of a far flung tendril of Hive Fleet Leviathan, and were soon to be invaded and consumed. So badly were the Draetheri routed from Forosia, however, that they fled back to their home worlds to face the Tyranid hive fleet. Their leaders considered extinction by the Tyranids preferable to facing the Angry Marines again.
The Angry Marines are not known for their restraint, which leads to the subject of this record. One month after the last living Xenos died on Forosia, the planet was destroyed in Exterminatus. The Angry Marines described an insidious foe that could not be destroyed by any conventional means, and had apparently waited to ambush them just as the Draetheri force was destroyed. The following transcript has been provided by Aerkon Pollock, the last surviving adjutant to the Planetary Governor, Gorm Leass.

Transcript Begins:
-----
"Brother Captain, the Forosian Planetary Council and I have a request to make of you and your Battle Brothers," said Governor Leass. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT NOW, COCK STINK!," replied Brother-Captain Shit-Ripper, leader of the Angry Marine task force. "The Xenos are routed, and I speak for the entire planet when I express the deepest of gratitude for your help in preserving our fair planet," Leass started. "But now we have a severe threat to our planet left behind by the Draetheri. Our Hives and Manufactorums have severely damaged municipal systems. Fires rage through two of our manufactorums completely unchecked. We have no capacity to put them out. Entire stocks of weapons and food rations made ready for nearby warzones and military campaigns are being destroyed in stockyards because of these infernos. We humbly ask if you could provide some assistance in neutralizing this threat?" Brother-Sergeant Fuckus-Them-Uppus replied for his Captain, "FUCK NO, I'M NOT YOUR BITCH SERVITOR, YOU FUCKING PRICK." "SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, UPPUS," said Captain Shit-Ripper. "FAGGOTS," he said, turning to his assembled companies, "WE BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ORKS, RIGHT!?" "FUCK YEAH WE DO!", shouted a marine. "KICK THEIR COCKS IN!", another chimed. Shit-Ripper continued "AND WE TEAR THOSE ELDAR CUNTS INTO CHUNKS, RIGHT?!" "I HATE THOSE FAIRY PANTSHITTERS", a Belligerent Engine groaned. "WELL, THOSE FUCKERS BREAK SHIT WHICH BELONGS TO THE EMPRAH!!!", announced the Captain,"AND THIS FIRE IS BREAKING HIS SHIT TOO! LETS RIP THIS FIRE A NEW ASSHOLE!!! ALWAYS ANGRY!!!!!" "ALL THE TIME!!", answered the assembled Marines. "Thank you so much Captain, we will convene immediately with the Mechanicum and-" "FUCK THOSE WIND-UP ASSHOLES, WE KNOW HOW TO KILL FIRE!!! WITH FIRE!!!", roared Captain Shit-Ripper.
-----
Transcript Ends;

The Angry Marines attacked the fires as they would any other of the Imperium's foes-- with Power Wrench and Chainsword, Heavy Bolter and Melta Gun. That very day, the Fires sweeping through the Manufactorums grew by an order of magnitude. The next week saw the fires spreading into the hive cities.
Millions died trying to escape the blaze. Matters were not helped when the Angry Marines, growing alarmed at the Fire's refusal to die in the Emperor's name, resorted to tactics most extreme to kill it. The Angry Marines loaded explosives onto cargo ships, which had been previously delegated to evacuate refugees off-planet, and flown into the blazing spires. Even orbital bombardments did not cause the flames to abate. Ultimately, the Angry Marines resorted to Exterminatus-- to prevent this grave threat to the Imperium from spreading to other worlds.

+++++ 
Thought for the Day: ''"Only the insane have strength enough to prosper. Only those who prosper may truly judge what is sane." '' 
+++++ 

== A Day In the Life of an Angry Marine. ==
*''Excerpted from Angry Marines Codex and further compiled from field-reports by P.Al. Nitschittery, Imperial Inquisitor, Junior Class'' 
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

*4:00 - Morning INSULTS - Led by the Company Chaplain, the Space Marines BETTER GET THEIR PUSSY ASSES IN ORDER BEFORE I STICK A POWER FOOT SO FAR UP SAID ANUS THEY WISH THEY WERE A SQUAT YOU CUNT!. 
*5:00 - Morning Firing Rites - The Space Marines engage in target practice with their personal and squad weaponry, awards and punishments are dispensed FOR BULLSHIT OR A LACK THEREOF AND IF ANY FUCKING SHIT FUCKER THINKS OTHERWISE TOMORROWS PRACTICE WILL BE A ROUSING GAME OF LICK THE CATACHAN BARKING TOAD YOU FUCKING WANK STAINS. 
*6:00 - Early Morning Meal - A light meal is prepared by the Chapter serfs. OH YES WE FUCKING EAT EGG AND SAUSAGE BREAKFAST SANDWICHES BY THE FUCKING TRUCKLOAD! WE ALSO DRINK FUCKTONS OF SUNNY D BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS FUCKING SWEET! WE ALSO SEND THE PRETTY FAGGOTS AND ULTRASMURFS A THOUSAND DONUTS WHILE WE WATCH SOME HIGH FUCKING QUALITY CARTOONS.
*7:00 - Battle Practice - BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF SHIT WITH YOUR POWER BAT, OR, BARRING THAT, JUST BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF SHIT WITH WHATEVER'S AVAILABLE. AND IF YOU'RE TOO PANTS ON HEAD RETARDED TO FIND SOMETHING TO HIT THEN YOU BETTER FUCKING START BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THE GROUND BECAUSE LAST TIME I CHECKED THIS PLANET HASN'T CONFESSED ITS SINS AGAINST THE EMPRAH. 
*12:00 - Midday Prayer - ANY ONE NOT TOO STUPID TO HIT THEMSELVES PRACTICES SCREAMING AT SHIT. EVERYONE ELSE CAN GO SUCK THE APOTHECARY'S DICK BECAUSE YOU DON'T NEED ANY MEDICINE FOR THAT TINY LITTLE BOLTER WOUND YOU FUCKTARD. 
*13:00 - Midday Meal - Normally local wildlife killed during the morning activities. AND BELIEVE ME WE KILL A LOT OF FUCKING BUNNY RABBITS AND PEPPERS AND SHIT AND EAT ALL OF IT AND LEAVE NONE FOR YOU. BOO-HOO, BITCH. 
*13:15 - Tactical Indoctrination - THIS USUALLY DOESN'T TAKE THIS LONG. I'LL JUST PUT UP A BIG PICTURE OF THE NEXT THING WE'RE GONNA SHOOT AND SAY "SHOOT THIS YOU FUCKERS" SERIOUSLY, WHO THE FUCK NEEDS AN HOUR AND FORTY FIVE MINUTES TO DO THAT. PUSSIES, THAT'S WHO. 
*15:00 - Battle Practice - SEE ABOVE IF YOU'RE NOT WEARING A NECKBRACE YOU INCOMPETENT LITTLE NIPPLE LICKER. WE HIT MORE SHIT WITH LARGER OBJECTS. 
*20:00 - Evening Prayer - I THINK YOU GET THE IDEA. I'M NOT GOING OVER THIS AGAIN. FUCK YOU. 
*21:00 - Evening Meal - A feast (by normal human standards) is provided by the Chapter serfs, and some Chapter Masters may allow alcohol to be consumed. FUCK YEAH IT IS. WE'LL ORDER LIKE A THOUSAND PIZZA'S TO THE PRETTY MARINES HOME WORLD AND THEN WE'LL STICK IN THE DVD'S OF ''BLOSSOM'' OR ''7TH HEAVEN'' OR...REALLY HARDCORE PORN. FUCK YOU, LITTLE FAGGOT SHOW WATCHING SHOW WATCHERS. GO WRITE IN YOUR LIVE JOURNAL. 
*21:30 - Night Firing Exercises - WE SPEND MORE TIME. HITTING MORE THINGS. WITH LARGER OBJECTS. IN THE DARK, FUKKEN DUH. 
*23:15 - Maintenance Rituals - FIX YOUR SHIT OR I'LL GRAB A TECH-PRIEST AND MAKE HIM FIX YOUR SHIT. ONE OF THOSE CLAUSES IS LITERAL. 
*23:45 - Free Time - Space Marines are permitted this time to reflect upon their duty to The Emperor, however many Chapter Masters regard free time as a frivolous waste, and a dangerous distraction in the extreme. EXCEPT WATCHING ''BLOSSOM''. FUCK YOU. 
*00:00 - Rest Period - BUT YOU BETTER NOT SPEND FOUR WHOLE HOURS SLEEPING. IF YOU DO YOU ARE NOT ANGRY ENOUGH AND TOMORROW YOU GET THE FIRST CHANCE TO PLAY ''PIN THE TAU ON THE CARNIFEX''. 

+++++ 
Thought for the Day: ''Ruthlessness is the kindness of the wise.'' 
+++++ 

== The Rise of Librarian Moarfistin, the Extremely Cross ==

* ''Transcribed from the files of'' Vyler, Deviant Ecclesiastic of Holy Terra.
* ''Profile'' #d4fppg6'': Librarian Moarfistin, the Extremely Cross''
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

Some say that before being brought into the chapter for initiation Moarfistin was a proctologist's assistant on a far flung Imperial colony. It was on that colony that an experimental plague released by Nurgle cultists caused a widespread pandemic of deadly dysentery.

The colony did not have a large population, and the colony's doctors, including his master, were the first targeted by the horrific disease. Being the only trained professional for his line of work, all the cases fell upon him. He slaved for months, mired in faeces and the corpses of his loved ones. A hellish life of failure and perpetual disgust eventually took its toll and he became increasingly violent and angry. One morning, he awoke to find that the last living colonists had shat themselves to death all over his equipment, and that the faeces had transformed into capering Nurglings. At this point his psychic powers manifested, and, records say, he "completely lost his shit".

The cultists were absolutely gleeful that their plague had done its work and killed the entire population; little did they know that one man, reinforced by a healthy diet high in fibre and latent psychic powers, had survived. A furious Moarfistin (as he would become known, original records on his true identity have been lost) came screaming over the horizon surrounded in a nimbus of psychic energy and as angry as at least 25 motherfuckers. Caught off guard, and then caught with medical instruments up their colons, the cultists knew true despair. This unstoppable path of destruction continued among the heretics as the newly born Moarfistin continued to force larger and larger objects up each individual anus.

[[File:Librarian_moarfistin_the_extremely_cross_by_vyler-d4fppg6(single_pose).jpg|thumb|right|''To see the sculpture of Librarian Moarfistin from which this entry is based, [[Angry_Marines#Gallery|see the gallery]]''. ''For the deviantart page where Librarian Moarfistin was sculpted, click here [http://j.mp/uC7r7m].'' ]]

Far away, an Angry Marine battle barge travelling the warp was buffeted by the waves of pure, seething, righteous rage. Impressed with this display of anger, and utterly furious that "pizza day" lunch had been interrupted, they diverted course to the world. There they found Moarfistin standing atop of pile of embarrassingly mutilated corpses; not a single daemon or cultist had survived. The scrawny, glowing figure was recorded as shouting: "THAT OUGHT TO SHUT YOUR FUCKING SHIT BOXES, YOU DRIBBLING CUNTS!!"

Although Space Marines usually recruit from feral worlds with hardy, muscular warriors, an exception was made for this otherwise scrawny butt doctor turned mad berserker. He was recruited immediately into the Librarium, where he would rise to a high rank.

Armed with the terrifying "Fisting Stick" and traveling in his mighty battle-barge, "Considerable Shouting", the Angry Marines [[Librarian]], Moarfistin is currently leading the Somethingth Company of Angry Marines on a Crusade to "COMPLETELY FUCK UP THOSE VAGINA HEAD TAU". He decided to do this after accidentally viewing Gundam fanart of a particularly disturbing nature. Unfortunately (for all the enemies of the Imperium between point A and point B) he started the crusade while on the complete opposite end of the galaxy from the Tau Empire. 

When an allied inquisitor questioned the sanity of plotting a course directly through the Eye of Terror, Moarfistin replied "IT WILL BE THE BLEEDING ASSHOLE OF TERROR WHEN I'M DONE WITH IT!!". To prove his point he then impaled a carnifex with its own head and gave the inquisitor a full body Apache burn as well as wedgie, all within the span of eleven seconds. 

The "Somethingth Company" of Angry Marines is named as it is because the normally chaotic organization of the Chapter is compounded by fact that Moarfistin recruited for the Crusade by simply yelling "YOU STUPID SHITS DON'T LOOK BUSY!! GET ON BOARD, WE'RE KILLING SOME FUCKING XENOS!!". Thus began what is anticipated to be a very long, bloody campaign. 

Menacing as Librarian Moarfistin's appearance is, some would wonder why he lacks a psychic hood. To which he responds "I DON'T NEED A GOOFY LOOKING MAGIC HAT TO PROTECT ME FROM HERETICAL BULLSHIT!" 

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Thought for the Day: ''Any problem can be solved with the proper application of power boots to the groin.'' 
+++++ 

== Fuckew McHugerage ==

* ''Audio file #002521220, recovered from <s>Gamorax Colony</s> Gamorax debris field
* ''Final notes of'' Inquistor Phorik
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

Great hero of the Angry Marines, Captain Fuckew "Nid-fucker" McHugerage, is Ranking Captain of the Second Company and imbued with the honorific title "SUPREME LARGE FURIOUS FUCKER OF THE TYRANIDS", of which the Angry Marines only have one at a given time.

This honorific is earned by a supreme act of absolutely unfettered rage that even the Angry Marines find impressive. Indeed, Fuckew Mchugerage is one of the most accomplished psychopaths of the Angry Marines.

Fuckew was known in particular for his incredible anger whenever faced by any foe who had more than one leg. While his one weakness is that he is rather sedate when faced with one-legged foes (he only screams at a moderate volume and force-feeds his defeated foes only one or two of their own limbs), his rage is multiplied as the amount of legs on a foes increases to a level rivaling that of Temperus himself.

This came to a boil in his first engagement with the Tyranids. As he and his second company, with him at the lead, fought the Tyranid hordes, he screamed with such rage that the Hive Mind itself recoiled and its control over the swarms was impaired. It was recorded that the day of the battle, a 9000-man Imperial Guard regiment in the nearby vicinity simply exploded as the wave of PURE ANGER hit them.

Coming face to face with an eight-limbed Hive Tyrant, Fucke-

+++++ 
Thought for the Day: ''From the sheer force of anger and rage overwhelming shall be borne fire to cleanse heresy.'' 
+++++ 

== An Inelegant Snub ==
*''Excerpted from the diaries of Lieutenant Pretentiousness, beautiful servant of The Emperor and amazingly good looking soldier of the Pretty Marines'' 
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

The beautiful sun rose high above the glorious desert planet and I looked in wonder at the beauty The Emperor had graced us with. I turned to Brother Starr, his microphone held high as he prepared to give a beautifully arousing speech to all the brothers gathered there. I turned quickly to brush a speck of dust off that had landed on my armor, and breathed a sigh of relief that no one had seen that. As Brother Starr gave his address I looked into the sky and beheld a yellow Thunderhawk streaming toward the planet. It landed a few meters away kicking dust in all directions.

"Brothers, evasive action!" Each member of the chapter pulled out his industrial strength hair dryer, the flashes of purple lighting up the terrain below as the brothers tried in vain to keep the dust from dirtying their armor. It was of no avail, I heard wails of despair... there would be much washing tonight. I looked out over the landscape to see several yellow glints rushing toward the lines of our chapter. I looked closer and saw the figures of five yellow-clad Space Marines rushing toward us. Three of them held what looked like glorified wrenches, and the fourth carried a most unsightly banner. The fifth marine was hidden behind a mass of cardboard he carried with him. I heard their scream as they drew closer, drowning out all other sound, a horribly insensitive scream that rose above all other noise.
"SUCK ON THIS, YOU PANSIFIED FAGGOTS!!" The one carrying the cardboard dropped all of it and the five stood for a second. 

"ALWAYS ANGRY!" 

"ALL THE TIME!" 

The five turned and ran back the way they had come, and as their ship lifted off I saw several middle fingers on the side of the ship, still wet with new paint, and bearing the name, "The Bird". I turned away in disgust, gracefully raising my chin.

I stepped down toward the mass of cardboard, helping brothers remove dust from their hair on the way.

I approached the mass of cardboard that had marred our beautiful desert landscape. Lying next to it was a small piece of paper. I knelt down and gingerly picked up the paper and turned it over.

Printed on the paper was a receipt for 1001 pizzas with anchovies and pineapple, upon which was scrawled a crude imitation of my own signature. On the bottom one word was written in red ink, barely legible: 

<center>'''OWNED'''</center>

+++++ 
Thought for the Day: ''Consider the magnitude of your duty at leisure, but act without hesitation when action is required.'' 
+++++ 

== The Green-Hands Heresy ==
*''From the historical records of'' Inquisitor Seros'', investigator of Adeptus Astartes'' "Incidents" 
*Section #7193: ''The Green-Hands Heresy "Incident" of Kickass Prime''
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

I was sent to the planet of “Kickass Prime”, a planet claimed by a chapter of Battle Brothers known as the “Angry Marines”. This particular sector of the Marines had referred to themselves as the “Brawndo” sector of the Chapter due to their love of a energy drink from the Dark Age of Technology. This love of a drink, Emperor knows how they obtained some of the original in the first place, had caused them to complain to various sources until the item in question was mass produced. The drink spread across the Chapter like a Tyranid swarm and the sector was allowed to keep the name due to the drink being “''ULTRA FUCKING SWEET!''”

The problem I was sent to solve, however, did not involve the drink. Rather, there were claims of Heresy amongst the ranks of the Angry Marines. It seems sometime during a cleansing of Ork, the Angry Marines took upon the “choppas” of the fallen Ork horde. While this itself is slightly Heretical, for they have slightly shunned the holy weapons of the Emperor, another blasphemy had occurred within the sector. One of the sergeants of the sector took great pride in felling a particularly large Ork and wanted its “Big Choppa” as a trophy. Unfortunately, the death-grip of the beast was too strong, even for a mighty Space Marine, and so the weapon remained in the clutch of the Ork. Not to be denied his prize, the sergeant proceeded to cut the hands off the Ork at the wrists. Afterward, when the beast was be-handed, as the case would be, the sergeant again tried to remove the hands to no-avail. This infuriated the already wrathful sergeant further. The sergeant subsequently summoned an apothecary to chop off his hands, and replace them with the Ork’s. This was Heresy beyond simply taking a fallen weapon; this was denying the hands given to him by the holy Gene-seed!

When I arrived on the planet, one of my main questions was: 'Why was this not reported by the sector and instead reported by another Chapter?'

I was given the same reply from everyone I asked: “''BECAUSE IT WAS REALLY FUCKING AWESOME, ASSHOLE!''” Apparently in the time after the sergeant had committed this deed, others followed his example, taking not only the weapons of the Orks, but also other body parts. I’m more than certain there was a marine with an Ork head replacing a pauldron. This I could not stand, I demanded to see the sergeant responsible for the mess. They lead me to the sergeant now known as “Greenhands”. The name was suitable, for there he was, the giant Ork hands looking ridiculous attached to his comparatively normal marine arms. He had the Choppa hung over his back when he accosted me, asking “''WHAT IN THE SERIOUS FUCK ARE ONE OF YOU INQUISITORS DOING HERE?!! SHOULDN’T YOU BE OUT LOOKING FOR CHAOS OR SOME SHIT?!''” I replied to him that I was indeed here due to claims of Heresy. In retrospect, I should not have said that. From the moment I uttered "Heresy", the whole of the camp within earshot began frantically running around cursing wildly, looking for any sign of Heresy they could find so they could stomp it out. This did please me, somewhat. It could very well have been that these Brothers were not Heretical, merely... simple-minded.

After about half an hour and a few small mammals squashed and shot repeatedly at point-blank range with bolters, Sgt. Greenhands returned to me and assured me that any possible Heresy had been wiped out. I told him that the Heresy was due to his weapon and new appendages. He berated me and asked if anyone told me how “''REALLY FUCKING AWESOME''” it was. I assured him that his fellow Battle Brothers did indeed tell me this was the case, but carrying an enemy’s weapon instead of a holy weapon given to him by fellow servants of the Emperor and replacing his hands with an enemy’s was indeed Heresy. The sergeant thought on this for a minute before calling for one of the sector’s Chaplains. After explaining to him that I was here because of his new weapon and because I “''WOULDN’T KNOW AWESOME IF IT BIT HIM''[me]''ON THE ASS''” he asked if the Chaplain could do anything to “''SHUT THIS PUSSY UP!''” The Chaplain looked at me and commenced a verbal tirade that very possibly rivaled that of the sergeant's. At any rate, he then reached into his pouch for a Purity Seal. He took one out, wrote some words on the paper attached (which I can only hope were Holy Sermons of the Emperor), and then proceeded to place the Purity Seal onto the weapon. The Chaplain then stood before me and without looking back, pointed at the Choppa and said “''SANCTIFIED, BITCH!''”

I then proceeded to take my leave of the Angry Marines, assuring them they would be cleared of all Heresy charges as long as they continued to cleanse the Ork weapons of taint but this would not be excused if such matters were extended to Chaos Weapons. The Chaplain agreed saying, “''WE KNOW NOT TO TAKE ANYTHING FROM THOSE CHAOS FUCKS, ASSHOLE!''” He then pulled my undergarments over my head and kicked me onto my transport.

I have written this report standing up.

+++++

Thought for the Day: ''Faith in the Emprah is the strongest weapon we have.''

+++++ 

== The Shitkicking Skirmish ==

* ''Extracted from the Imperial archives on Holy Terra.''
* ''Dataport #55892B, Section 87D-3A, Adm.Sublevel 12.''
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

The pissed off Angry Marines on board the Cruiser ”IFUCKDURMOM” were rushing to the nearest drop pods, wanting to be the first one knocking the shit out of the Chaosfags attacking the imperial world 'Pandaemonium Prime'. The Chaos Marines of the Emperors Children had begun an orgy of murder, rape and recording furry porn to please their dark masters.

”''COCKSUCKING FUCKING ARSEBISCUITS''” one of the Angry Marines bellowed as a squad of Angry Marines rushed to the surface in a drop pod. This traditional pre-mission term of imminent shitkicking was hailed by roars and profanities as the pissed off death dealers started punching and headbutting the interior of the drop pod.

The arrival on the surface of the planet was as violent as to be expected.

Brother-Chaplain Smackface saw the reinforcements and immediately proceeded to give orders to the newcomers. ”''TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH YOU COCKGOBBLERS, WE HAVE ORDERS TO FUCK SHIT UP, KICK ASS AND MAKE SURE THE CHAOSFAGS TAKE THE FUCKING HINT THIS TIME!!!''”. Even during a heated firefight Brother Chaplain Smackface was as usual more detailed in his description of the situation than most commanders in the Chapter. To which one marine remarked; ”''OH JUST LET US AT THEM ALREADY YOU BITCHING ASSJOCKEY!!''”. The Chaplain, cursing and infuriated, immediately picked up the marine and threw him in a perfect arch into the fray.

The marine, nicknamed 'Shitkicker', found himself flying in a perfect arch into the fray and landing amidst a large group of cultists adorned in pink, chains, leather and fursuits. Before the cultists could even react to the surprising arrival of the yellow pissed off character, the Angry Marine let off a string of four-letter curses, infuriated with a burning rage by the pussypantsfaggotry. And within milliseconds he became a blur, tearing the cultists apart, limb by limb, still letting off violent tirades of obscenities at the chaos worshipers around him.

After ripping off the heads of countless heretics, Chaplain Smackface arrived with the squad Shitkicker had arrived with. “''SO YOU WORTHLESS CUNT MANAGED NOT TO WHINE, CRY AND DIE LIKE A BITCH? WELL IF YOU DON'T STOP ARSING ABOUT AND FOLLOW ME I'LL RAPE YOUR SKULL OPEN WITH A GIANT SPIKY DILDO, YOU DILDO!!!''”. After given these new orders Shitkicker started to sprint with the other marines. Their objective soon became apparent after he heard the thumping sound of large chaos dreadnoughts.

“''THESE CHAOSFAGS DON'T FUCKING GET THAT IF WE KILL YOU, YOU BETTER STAY DEAD AND BUTTFUCKED OR ELSE WE'LL SKULLFUCK YOUR SORRY ASS SOME MORE!!''” the chaplain calmly stated after seeing the dreadnoughts making their way towards the main body of the angry marine taskforce. Knowing that if the enemy would engage the other Angry Marines before they could get their hands on the chaosfags still pants-on-head retarded enough to be named the “''EMPERORS'' children”, the other angry marines would rip them to pieces and not leaving any asskicking for Chaplain Smackface and his squad.

While moving through the vast army of furryfuckers and pinktards, delivering some serious lecturing about what happens when you even think about heresy, the contingent of Angry Marines were closing in on the dreadnoughts. The chaplain quickly assessed the situation and exclaimed the mighty battlecry of the Angry Marines; ''FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-''

+++++++

Thought of the day: ''Heresy is the very definition of "Doing it wrong".''

+++++++ 

== Recruitment By Fire ==

* ''An excerpt from the Journal of Brother-Sergeant Josephus Corric, 6th Company of the Angry Marines, former Imperial Guard, Corporal of the 40th Infantry (Mechanized), Echo Company'' 
*'' Regarding events during 995.M41 on Gudrun, Helican Segmentum Obscurus'' 

<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

We were moving forward to assault this Enemy held outpost when we were stopped by a company of Traitor Marines. Us softies, well, we’re no match for all that power armor and lets be candid, the standard IG issue lasgun is about as effective against power armor as harsh language.

The Enemy was dug in to this hillside deep and good. They had thrown up earthworks and camouflaged the area pretty well. Nothing had showed up on our auspex or geothermal imaging. We walked right into the area without warning and the Enemy began shooting.

It was not pretty. Textbook ambush that could have come right from basic tactics class. The Enemy waited until half of the company had passed them and then opened fire. They had at least two quad-linked heavy bolters hidden in those hills. The incoming fire was so thick I thought I could see individual bolter rounds as they were fired.

The first ranks of men were mowed down so quickly they didn't even have time to scream. One moment they were there, the next there were just steaming body parts oozing blood.

The ranks farther back... well, I don’t think I’ll ever forget those screams. The Enemy swung those quads over the line of men and watched them fall. Farther back, the rounds weren’t as effective; that is, they did not kill cleanly. The Enemy seemed to take a perverse joy in shooting the wounded. Listening to them scream, watching them bleed...
We paid a heavy price for relying on those Adeptus Mechanicus instruments rather than our eyes. That won't happen again, I can tell you.

As we sought cover, I noticed that no one was giving orders. I expected some Commissar or officer to start rallying the men and when that didn’t happen it dawned on me that I was the ranking man. Talk about a weird sensation, being in charge and all. Surreal.

I figured that since the Astartes get all the credit, they might as well do the heavy lifting. So I made the command decision to call them in. Our company was supported by the Angry Marines and I got their vox frequency off my dead lieutenant.

“This is 40th ID, Echo company, transmit to Astartes detachment. We are south south-east 22 clicks from debarkation and have had our advance halted by fortified Enemy located at coordinates 37 23.516 ...”

“WHADDAYA WANT??!!”

I was startled by the abrupt reply that overrode my vox transmission. “Uh, well, we encountered some Traitor Marines dug in...”

“WHAT??? PANSY ASSES HIDING IN THE GROUND?!! WHERE??!!”

“37 23.516 -122 02.625" I said, giving the location of the GPS coordinates.

There was an uncomfortable pause on the vox.

“WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT???!!!”

I reasoned they were experiencing mechanical difficulties with their instruments. So, I figured I'd describe some landmarks. “Uh, well, we’re by this mountain and there is a stream near by...”

“LIGHT A FUCKING FLARE, YOU ASSHOLE!!! MARK THE DZ AND GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY!!!”

I was a bit taken back. “Very well. Watch for the green flares.”

There was no response from the vox.

I got my troops to mark a zone a few hundred meters from our position and then we waited. I listened to the vox and gathered intel. Seems that there was some heavy atmospheric interference and that only sub orbital craft could be used.

I heard the sound of roaring engines at full thrust. Four Valkyries entered our airspace, their thrusters on full as they came in low. Was the rear hatch open? I could see glints of red and yellow through the small gaps in the hatch. Were the occupants crouched and ready to ... jump? No, that had to be a mistake, no one inserts a ground assault at full throttle...

“GET OUTTA THE WAY, CUNTSICLE!!!” I heard through the vox. The Valkyries did not slow as they approached. In fact, they seemed to speed up. When the Valkyries were directly over our position, the marines ... jumped. I’d never seen anything like it.

In seconds there were sixteen yellow and red figures raining from the sky, each armed with ... bats and wrenches?

“WE GOT US SOME HEADS TO CRACK!” We got out of the way, alright. The marines came down on the Enemy position mere meters from the redoubt. The Enemy was surprised too, they didn’t even fire. The yellow and red wave crashed over the redoubt and the combat was joined, hand to hand. Or wrench to head, as it were.

I stood up to get a better look at the battle. No, this was carnage and I wanted to join. I wanted payback for the ambush. “For the Emperor!!! For the Fortieth!!! FORWARD!!!” I yelled. Echo company sprang from their cover and rushed the redoubt. We took the position and mopped up what the marines left us. Literally. There was not much left and what was left could fit in a bucket.

In the midst of the slaughter, I noticed a change in the battle. We were no longer moving up the redoubt. Fact was, we were not moving at all. We were taking cover from plasma bolts that were being shot from further within the hillside. I moved along side a Marine that was cleaning bits of a helmet from the jaws of his power wrench.

“Status, Sir?” I asked after saluting.

The marine looked up from his cleaning, “WE’RE GETTING SHOT AT, ASSHOLE!!! YOU NEED ME TO TELL YOU THAT?!!!”

Indeed, we were. The forces of the Enemy had established another system of redoubts and had fortified them with plasma emplacements. Which were laying down an impressive suppressing fire. The Angry Marines were, well, angry, but not stupid. No one charges into plasma guns fired from a fortified redoubt. So there we all were, taking cover in that trench, waiting for... Well, I was not sure what we were waiting for. I was sure that no one was going to charge into that plasma.

The marines conferred with one another. I heard snippets of their conversation: “TOO FUCKING FAR...OUT OF RANGE...THOSE FUCKING FUCKS...CANT GET THE FUCKING ANGRINATOR IN HERE...WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LISTENING TO, ASSHOLE??!!!” The last comment was directed at me. “Sorry.”

“DAMN RIGHT, YOU ARE!!!” Just then the Marine with the power wrench stood at the redoubt’s edge and yelled, “FUCKING PANSIES!!! STOP SHOOTING!!! HONORLESS WIMPS!!!” He threw the piece of helmet he had freed from the wrench’s jaw. There was still something in that helmet...

Incredibly, the fire stopped. Even the Marines were surprised.

“Worshipers of the corpse-emperor! Surrender and welcome the embrace of Chaos!!!” The voice was silky smooth and deep, yet deadly. Like broken glass in ice cream.

All of the marines began screaming insults in return. They were imaginative and dealt mainly with detailed instructions on how the Enemy could fornicate with a Catachan devil. This then progressed into fornication with plasma engines, then fornication with various edged weapons, and then fornication with their mothers and other ancestors. It was getting... repetitive.

I figured I should do something. I approached the Angry Marine with the wrench. He paused in his insults and took notice of my presence. “Let me try”, I said.

“YOU UP FOR THIS, FUCKFACE?!” He bellowed. I did not get the impression that he was purposely hostile toward me; this seemed to be his usual means of address. “Yessir!” I replied.

“HAVE AT IT!!!” Grinning, he gestured rudely toward the Enemy ranks and stepped aside.

Incredibly, the Angry Marines stopped shouting. They were still seething, the air between them charged with heated rage, but they did not utter a word. All eyes were on me.

“This is Corporal Josephus Corrick, 40th Imperial Guard Infantry, Mechanized, acting commander of Echo Company. You are surrounded. Surrender, and we will show you the Emperor’s mercy.”

“No. You are surrounded. You surrender and we won't wear your skin on our armor.” Came the reply.

The Angry Marines groaned. I remained unperturbed. “Look, no more blood need...”

“BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!” Came the response. Angry Marines were shaking their heads and becoming impatient. I was feeling a bit irritated.

“This is foolishness! You have no chance! This redoubt is the last point of resistance...”

“FFFUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!” The Enemy blew me a raspberry. The Angry Marines were laughing now. At me.

I felt my face flush “Surrender now and we promise you...”

“Worshipper of the corpse-emperor! We will wash you away from this planet in an unending tide of blood! Join us and you will know true glory in serving chaos!!!”

I froze in place. The world suddenly became very quiet and time froze. It was just me with my thoughts. After watching half of my company torn to shreds by the Enemy, they were asking me to ''join'' them? The screams of my brothers in arms, still fresh in my mind, came to the fore of my mind. Suddenly, something changed, igniting a deep rage within my self that surprised me. But I embraced it. The rage and anger gave me a strength I did not know I had. My voice boomed over the battlefield as if I were using a vox.

“Join ...you. Join...you. JOIN YOU???!!! Why in the FUCK WOULD I JOIN THE LOSING SIDE???!!! You traitor assholes turned your back on your legion, your species, YOUR EMPEROR to do what? TO BE ON THE LOSING SIDE??!!! You are on... what? The 11th, no, 12th , no, 13th Black Crusade? That’s an uninterrupted twelve time LOSING STREAK!!! You would think that you fucks could get it right one time in TEN THOUSAND YEARS!!!

The Angry Marines fell silent and looked upon me, with respect. I was encouraged.

“Power of Chaos? The only power I see is THE POWER TO FAIL!!! CHAOS MAKES YOU STUPID!!! FUCK AN A! WHO THE FUCK JOINS SOMEONE WITH A TRACK RECORD LIKE THAT???"

I was rolling now. The anger burned within me like a plasma drive at full power.

"'RUINOUS POWERS'??? THE ONLY RUIN I SEE IS YOU SHITTING YOUR PANTS!!! DUMBFUCKS!!! WHO IS THE ONE COWERING IN THE BOTTOM OF A FUCKING HOLE, BITCH???!!!”

The Angry Marines broke out into a hearty applause. There was no response from the Enemy. Just an embarrassed silence. They started shooting again, but it was just filler.

The Angry Marines were still clapping. I moved back from the rampart and the anger still burned within me. “Join them... chaos must make you stupid... fucking fucktards...”

The Angry Marine with the power wrench approached me. He removed his helmet and spoke, “HEY ASSHOLE! THINK YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WHICH END OF THIS TO USE???” He handed me his power wrench. It was beautiful. A meter long of polished adamantium, perfectly balanced and the head still dripping with the blood of the Enemy.

“FUCK YEAH!” I bellowed back.

“RIGHT!!! HERE'S THE PLAN, I THROW YOU INTO THE ENEMY AND YOU KILL THEM. THINK YOU CAN REMEMBER THAT??!!!”

I did not even get to respond before he picked me up and threw me boldly over the rampart directly at the Enemy position. Thank the Emperor, the Enemy was just as surprised as I was, and didn't shoot me out of the sky. I landed a half a meter short of the twin linked plasma gun the Enemy had placed in the redoubt. Without thinking, I hit the mount with the power wrench as hard as I could. Then I felt the shock up my arms and nearly dropped it. Two things then occurred to me: 1) that I should turn it on, and, 2) I was going to die. Lucky (or not so lucky as I found out later) for me, the gun-operator assumed the wrench was on and dived away from the emplacement. I lit up the power wrench, let out a warcry, and triumphantly hit the gun. There was a bright flash of light and that was all I remember.

I woke up later. Much later. I was in a hospital ward surrounded by arcane instruments of unknown purpose. The Angry Marine was there; the one that gave me his power wrench. He saw I was awake.

“WHAT KIND OF STUPID FUCKER USES A POWER WRENCH ON A PLASMA EMPLACEMENT???!!!"

He shook his head with incredulity.

"FUCKING CHAOS PUSSIES RUNNING AROUND, ON FIRE, SCREAMING, AND YOU SLEEPING THROUGH THE WHOLE THING!!!” He laughed. It was an angry laugh.

“YOU OWE ME A NEW WRENCH, FUCKTARD. JUST SO I CAN KEEP MY EYE ON YOU, THIS APOTHECARY IS GOING TO RAM SOME GENESEED THROUGH YOUR FUCKING SKULL.”

There was a hint of a smile in his eye as he walked out of the room.

“WELCOME TO THE ANGRY MARINES... ASSHOLE.”

== Assault Sergeant Dickface ==
* From the archives of Drywalker Fen
* File #61225A: Assault Sergeant Dickface
<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

Assault Marine Dickface was promoted to the rank of Sergeant during the Heresy of Drywalker Fen in 912.M41. His squad was to be deployed as an attack on the position of heretic leadership. Unfortunately the [[Thunderhawk]] that transported the squad was shot down by enemy fire and the brothers were scattered. During the attack Dickface had lost most of his equipment and had to make do with a weapon he found at the site of a bombed encampment; a two-handed [[chainsword]]. As he attempted to regroup with his squad, Dickface got his ass stuck in the fens of Drywalker. As he tried to pull himself free from the goop, Dickface had the idea of firing up his jump pack to full power. It eventually tore him free, but send him hurtling through the air. He noticed that by divine aid this was straight in the direction of his squad's target, and shouted "OPEN WIDE, MOTHERFUCKERS" before descending onto them like an angel of wrath.

Pict footage later determined that upon landing, through a combination of luck and skill, Dickface managed to shove his chainsword through the mouth of the heretic commander all the way down out of his pelvis, impaling him in a single motion. Dickface then proceeded to beat enemy command to death with the impaled body of their commander, after which he cut the weapon free through the corpse's back. Dickface then proceeded to repeat this on six infantry platoons, a score of heavy weapon teams and a trio of [[Sentinel]] walkers, killing their operators by pouncing on the cockpit and forcing the weapon through the vehicles' vision slits.

For his heroics and skill, Dickface was elevated to the position of Assault Sergeant and was granted one of the Chapter's "Angry [[Beakie]]" Mark VI Corvus suits of [[Power Armor]]. While his position as a Sergeant allowed him to wield the traditional Power Bats and Power Wrenches of the Angry Marines; he opted to keep the weapon he found, dubbing it "Throatfucker". While some Angry Marines believe him to be a "TAINTFONDLING SHOWOFF WHO THINKS HE'S TOO FUCKING HARDCORE FOR A POWER BAT". For this reason, Sergeant Dickface's skill with Throatfucker has been proven time and again.

+++++++ 

Thought for the day: do not wonder, as curiosity invites disaster.

+++++++ 

== Induction ==
The dimly lit cabin filled with strained grunts under the sustained G of the drop pod's separation engine. Nine squadmates endured the invisible hand of inertia with an outwards patience and calm borne as much of familiarity as of training, genetic engineering and surgery. Nine squadmates, and one other: equally calm, if less attributable to experience.

The squad sergeant unsubtly looked his new charge over with a practiced eye, assessing everything from bearing to attentiveness. Trooper Ten was of course under significant pressure from acceleration; made worse by the necessity for the Primaris Marine to slump deeply in his crash couch to accommodate his elongated torso. His legs, too, were splayed out awkwardly either side of the sergeant's knees, a sight which filled the sergeant with no end of amusement.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were flirting with me, Ten" said the sergeant with a grin that not even his fully enclosed helmet could conceal. Mutterings of laughter echoed around the drop pod as the G eased off, the squad adjusting their positions for re-entry.

"Your customs and humours are strange to me, sergeant." replied the Primaris. "I cannot imagine that Primarch Guilliman would approve of your lack of focus ahead of such an important operation; nor of the..." he stopped suddenly, weighing whether his statement would be received as insubordinate. "...condition of your wargear."

Ten had, perhaps, a point. While his own Mk. X power armour was gleaming, freshly painted in the livery of his adoptive chapter and hand-polished to a shine, the rest of the squad looked as if they'd been dragged feet-first through a chainsword foundry. Pieces of half a dozen different armour marks adorned the squad, and while the detritus of previous warzones had been hosed off as part of ship's quarantine, battle damage was evident on all.

The sergeant in particular was a trainwreck. As Ten's eyes moved down from the sergeant's dented "beaky" helmet to the acid-scarred torso, to the axe-gouged thigh piece, he was perplexed to notice the sergeant's right hand resting with the thumb and forefinger joined to make a circle. As his head exploded with pain, swiftly dampened by his suit's autoapothecary, Ten felt anger rising at the stunning blow from the sergeant's other hand; its brutal strength belying the smaller marine's stature.

The rest of the squad squirmed in their acceleration harnesses to watch as the hull started to whine against the increasingly dense atmosphere.

"Let me show you our customs, Ten" said the sergeant pleasantly, resuming his casual repose and resting one foot on a large reinforced sack full of something that gave a metallic clink under the weight; like gold bars in a concrete mixer.

"My name is Primaris Augustus."

"Your name is written" retorted the sergeant, ejecting a round from his battered boltgun, "on this shell." Ten glanced at it, noticing again that the sergeant had pinched it between thumb and forefinger to form a circle. Before Ten could react, the sergeant slammed him in the crotch with an armoured boot.

"You will have a name if and when you earn it, and wear our colours with the pride they deserve" barked the sergeant. "You carry our geneseed and a very shiny shooter" indicating Ten's immaculately maintained bolt rifle, "and you're big and quick, but Showboat isn't here to tuck you into bed any more."

Ten's choler was rising now. "On Mars, such undisciplined rabble would be liquified and fed to the servitors. I'm surprised that even works" he snarled through gritted teeth and eyes watering from the second blow, pointing furiously at the sergeant's dishevelled weapon. "And the next chaplain I see will hear of your insult to the Primarch."

The sergeant was bellowing with mirth now, barely audible over the roar of the re-entry fireball outside the drop pod hull. "You'll be lucky to see the ship again, Ten, let alone a chaplain" he shouted. "How many combat drops have you done? HOW MANY?" he screamed, almost helmet to helmet.

"TWO INCLUDING THIS ONE" yelled Ten, no longer caring to maintain discipline in the face of the open conflict that had been bubbling ever since his recent arrival with the reinforcement fleet.

"Then listen up, you damned fairy" retorted the sergeant. "I lost count at three hundred, and back then my gear was prettier than yours. You're on work experience, and you'll stay out of our way while the real marines take care of business. Try not to get et." Cocking his boltgun and hefting the heavy sack onto his lap as retro-thrusters slammed into life, the sergeant turned his attention to the exit ramps.

Ten had never felt such rage at being treated so dismissively; as the pod crashed into the planet and the ramps deployed he burst furiously into the light and started laying into the swarm of Tyranid gaunts around the pod with the butt of his rifle. Shards of carapace and foul ichor flew in a maelstrom around him as he unleashed his boiling frustration.

It was several moments before he noticed the Heirophant bio-titan standing over him curiously, like a child examining an ant. The gaunts stopped their assault and backed away as the great beast lowered its head towards him. Transfixed, Ten barely registered the sergeant's voice on his suit comm as the great maw opened to sample a new morsel. What was that psychopath shouting at him?

"SEMPER IRATUS YOU FAIRY".

White hot rage exploded in Ten's brain as he leapt into the Heirophant's jaws, past the rows of monomolecular-edged teeth and deep into the back of its throat; where he hacked brutally at the soft flesh until the swallow reflex clenched bloody blankets of meat around him, forcing him down into the boiling acid in its gut.

Sergeant Ranga and the rest of the squad whooped in joyous ire as they clambered up the legs of the great beast; carving footholds with chainaxes and driving their combat knives deep into its joints. They hacked and mutilated tendons, flesh and carapace; and when the great beast finally collapsed to its knees they hacked it further, revelling in the carnage.

As the bio-titan slumped its distended belly to the battlefield, a gout of blood and meat ejected from what could only be its anus; coating the still heaving hordes of Tyranids and marines in pitched battle around it. Ranga surveyed the dripping orifice with pride and expectation and, as Ten emerged from it headfirst, tossed the Primaris a loose Carnifex talon before darting up to the beast's head.

Still raging, his armour half-dissolved by pungent fluids, Ten hacked into the sphincter until it released him and he fell to the earth trailing gibbets of innards. Landing hard he rolled and, noticing a yellow-armoured perimeter around the Titan's head, ran up the length of the Heirophant's destroyed body dragging the talon and opening the torso like a zipper.

Sergeant Ranga was screaming obscenities and battering the Heirophant's head into a bloody mess, his sack splitting with each giant blow and spilling what appeared to be brass doorknobs onto the ichor-soaked ground. Ten joined him with boot and fist until the last shudder had faded and the enormous biomachine was finally still.

They regarded each other exhaustedly, helmets discarded onto the filth around them, both bearing a resemblance closer to a half-cooked stew than marines of the Imperium.

"You lost your fancy gun" Ranga said with a smirk.

"It snagged on a tooth when I got et" replied the Primaris. "Wait... is that it?" He bent down and reached into an unidentifiable mass of bloody muscle. Ranga watched as the marine's arm went in up to the elbow, freshly coating it in slick blood. When it emerged there was no bolt rifle, but a circle made of forefinger and thumb.

The Primaris slammed his forehead into Ranga's face, sending the sergeant flying backwards and sprawling on the ground. Ranga lay there laughing, crossing his feet and lacing fingers behind his head.

"Welcome to the Angry Marines, Trooper Arsebirth."

+++++++ 

Thought for the day: The burden of failure is the most terrible punishment of all.

+++++++ 

= List of Things the Angry Marines Hate With a Passion =

There are very few things that the Angry Marines actually like. There's the [[Emprah]], of course. And also [[cats]]. And possibly skittles. Angry Marines are also said to have a predilection for energy drinks and most anything resembling a cudgel. They hate the [[Iron Hands]] slightly less due to their intense self-hate and anger.

However, while the Angry Marines may hate pretty much everything else, there are also those things that will cause any regular Angry Marine to fly into an unfathomable berserker rage in mere seconds:

*The [[Eldar]]/[[Dark Eldar]]/[[Elf|Anything related to elves]] - The regular spehss elves are faggots, the drug-addled spehss elfs are dickish faggots, and elves are prissy faggots. Ergo, FUCK THOSE CUNTS!!

*The [[Tau]] - Weeaboo cock suckers.

*The [[Ultramarines]] - They hate the Ultramarines for being a bunch of pompous douchebags / Mary Sues (may also hate the colour blue, which makes sense since blue is said to be a calming color and this is the "Angry Marines" we're talking about).

*[[Pretty Marines]]/[[Chaos Pretty Marines]] - They're a chapter of faggots and the ones who defected to Chaos makes them DOUBLE FAGGOTS.

*[[Emperor's Children]] - They're a chapter of faggots who defected to Chaos and still bear the name of the Emprah. TRIPLE FAGGOTS.

*[[Furries]] - Daemonspawn of Slaanesh.

*Anything [[Slaanesh|Slaaneshi]] - Slaanesh is the God of all that is faggotry in the Warhammer 40,000 universe.

*Chaos as a whole - CHAOS IS FAKE AND GAY, GET OUT, STOP TALKING, FUCK. YOU.

*Going to the planets [[Fenris]] and [[Valhalla]], for no other reason than THEY'RE FUCKING COLD. SON OF A BITCH.

*[[Avatar]] - Two and a half hours of furfaggotry in 3D is still two and a half hours of furfaggotry.

*[[Matthew Ward]] - Self explanatory.

*[[World Eaters]] - What they try to pass off as 'anger' is really just male insecurity in the extreme.

*[[Primarch|Traitor primarchs]] - CHAOS FAGGOTS like the daemon primarchs who hide from the ANGRY MARINES in the Warp and won't even show up to get their testicles kicked up between their ears are the worst kind of pansy-ass CHAOSFAGGOTS.

*[[Thousand Sons]] - They are CHAOS WORSHIPPERS, worship Tzeentch and THEY ARE FUCKING PSYKERS (which are basically faggots with greater range (but the emprah is a psyker... could it be that you are calling the emperor a long range faggot? well... ARE YOU?!?! I'LL KICK SO HARD IN THE ASS, THAT YOU WILL ORBIT THE SUN IN A FRANCTION OF A SECOND. YOU PUSSY ASS CHAOS WORSHIPING FAGGOT). That makes them TRIPLE FAGGOTS,too.

+++++++ 

Thought for the day: If something is worth doing, it's worth overdoing!

+++++++

= Things the Angry Marines wish for =

There are some things the Angry Marines desire to happen, and if they did, it would make them slightly less angry, but nowhere nearly enough to make them less destructive. These include:

* A good [[Warhammer Fantasy]] RTS that approaches Dawn of War's quality <s>(heads up, the guys behind Total War are apparently heading up something that looks promising)</s> FUCK THAT! THOSE INEPT COCKSUCKING DICKWITS AT SEGA WENT AND MADE CHAOS A FUCKING DLC PREORDER BONUS! NOT THAT ANYBODY'S DUMB ENOUGH TO PLAY CHAOS, IT JUST SETS A POOR CUNTING PRECEDENT

* A Doom movie made in the style of the doom comic, preferably with Bruce Campbell as the Doom Marine

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjIVkl34Vig song dedicated to Honorary Angry Marine, Doom Guy]

* <s>Better endings for Mass Effect 3,</s> preferably restoring Drew Karpyshyn's original Dark Energy ending. Almost Fucking done!

* A good [[Dungeons and Dragons]] movie

* All loyalists, especially them, being upgraded Power Fists to Chainfists for free.

* [[Samus]], she who ruins worlds every time of month (or every time Space pirates show up, Emperor help the Piratical Xeno who meets her during her time of the month) is an inspiration to Angry marines everywhere.

* Warhammer, both versions, story actually going somewhere and not being stuck in status quo. [[The End Times]] is good progress on that...until [[Age of Sigmar]] happened.

* A Warhammer 40K space shooter flight sim game.

* Being a canon chapter.

* Having [[Anime| cabbits]] as pets, and the cabbits knowing how to turn into battle barges.

* To beat the shit out of all Squat and non-Squat players

* The executives at [[Games Workshop]]'s heads all mounted on sticks

* Neither of these, actually. BECAUSE ANGRY MARINES ARE NOT YOUR PERSONAL CHAPTER, FAGGOT!

* A Good Warhammer 40k RTS with direct control that lets you beat the shit out of the eldar

= See Also/Notable Angry Marine personnel =
*[[Commissar Fuklaw]]
*[[Badasious|Inquisitor Badasious]]
*[[Angry Marine-Bomb]]
*[[Sergeant El'Jackson]]
*[[Temperus Maximus|Chapter Master Temperus Maximus]]
*[[Mofo|Reclusiarch Mofo]]
*[[Dickface|Assault Sergeant Dickface]]
*[[Shitkicker|Captain Shitkicker]]
*[[Belligerent Engine]]
*[[Captain Titus]], an honorary Angry Marine in spite of being an [[Ultramarines|Ultrasmurf]]
*[[Mephiston]], also honorary, so angry he's calm
*[[Gabriel Seth]], DOUBLE honorary because that angry bastard is a crazy ball-busting cunt
*[[Kharn]] (HE IS STILL A TRIPPLE FAGGOT!)
*[[Avitus]]
*The Hulk, he's always angry!
*Doomguy
*[[Tyberos the Red Wake]] that mad fucker is TRIPLE honorary because he is so angry he makes no sound and is a master of [[rip and tear]]
*Dirty Harry
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1tU61Nyv1w Angry Marine Techmarine] (He's always angry around machines)
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq7Vj3GMd1M&list=FLwvNufI5OJpxjH7BPfV0m_w Common Angry Marine marching cadence]
*[[Khador| Orsus Zoktavir]]
*[[Transformers|Grimlock]], his [[Rage]] is more powerful than programing built into him meant to restrain him. Also, he's a fucking robot dinosaur.
*Lucky The Foul Xenos Cat

= Gallery =

<center><gallery>
[[File:Temperus Maximus.png]]
Image:Angrymarines8.jpg|DO. NOT. PISS. OFF.
Image:Angry_7.jpg|The [[Dreadnought|Dreadnoughts]] of the Angry Marines are known better within the chapter as the [[Belligerent Engine|Belligerent Engines]]
Image:Original angry marines.jpg|In 1st Edition, [[beakie|ALL Marines]] were Angry Marines.
Image:Angrymarines tzeentch.jpg|The Angry Marines fuck up [[Tzeentch]]'s shit.
Image:Angry Marine Smackdown.jpg|Angry Marines vs [[Kharn]].
Image:angrynerdrage.png|fffuuu--
File:BelligerentEngines.jpg|WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW YOU CHAOS FAGGOTS?
Image:Angry_marine_with_flag.jpg|Huh? Huh? WHERE?
Image:Angrymarines7.jpg|FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
Image:IMPATIENTMARINES.jpg|There is NOTHING more badass than a pissed-off Angry Marine.
Image:Angrymotivator.jpg|Always angry, all the time.
Image:KILLITWITHFIREYOUFUCKS.jpg|Not shown offscreen: pack of furries being sent straight to Hell.
Image:1218823369945.jpg|You'll be so angry Chaos will be all like "slooooooow dooooooown", and you'll be like "FUCK YOU" and kick Chaos in the face with your POWER FEET!
Image:FUCKINGANGRY.jpg|RAAAAAAAGEEE!
Image:ANGRY_TITAN.jpg|YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT WE'VE GOT A [[Legio Ruina|TITAN LEGION]].
Image:ANGRY-LCB.jpg|Angry Marine haet LCB.
Image:ANGRY_MINI.jpg|ANGRY TABLETOP ASSKICKING TIME.
Image:ANGRY-TAU.jpg|Angry Marine haet Tau.
Image:AM_WHAT.png|I'M CONFUSED. CONFUSION MAKES ME ANGRY!
Image:Sisters_of_anger2.png|Yeah. It's a [[Female Space Marines|fucked-up Rule 63 version]].
Image:AngryMarine9.jpg|Masters of improvised weaponry.
Image:AngryMarine10.jpg|The core thought process of an Angry Marine depicted through the ANGRY METER.
Image:Chapter Master Leonidas.jpg|The Angry Marines are more badass than the guys in 300. Why? Because those guys LOST.
Image:AngryMarineModels.jpg|DID YOU [[THIN YOUR PAINTS]]? YOU BETTER HAVE THINNED YOUR GODDAMN PAINTS.
Image:AM_WHATMUTHERFUCKER.png|NOW I'M FUCKING PISSED OFF!
Image:Predator_angrinator.PNG|The dreaded Predator ''Angrinator''.
Image:Angry_n_cultist1.jpg|Cultist-chan versus the Angry Marine - Part1
Image:Angry_n_cultist2.jpg|Cultist-chan versus the Angry Marine - Part2
Image:Angry_n_cultist3.jpg|Cultist-chan versus the Angry Marine - Part3
Image:Hell_Yeah_by_Gannadene.jpg|And THIS is how you take out a fat slobbering cunt like Nurgle!
Image:Angry_dread.jpg|Gah, they just won't stay dead!
File:1289451061673.jpg|FUCK YEA!
Image:Lolcron3.jpg|They hate playing against Necrons.
Image:AMLMkIV.jpg|FOR THE EMPRA'!
File:Dan_angry.jpg|Well it COULD be gayer...
Image:Angry_2.png
Image:Angry_FOK.png
Image:Angry_gets_shit_done.jpg|[[/tg/ gets shit done]]
Image:Angry_5.png
Image:Angry_Dreadnaught.jpg|FFFFFFFFFF- WHO THE FUCK UPLOADED THIS!? IT'S A FUCKING BELLIGERENT ENGINE, YOU FUCK!!
Image:Angry.jpg|An Angry Marines Belligerent Engine fucking up the [[Pretty Marines]]
Image:Librarian_moarfistin_the_extremely_cross_by_vyler-d4fppg6(single_pose).jpg|Librarian Moarfistin the Extremely Cross
Image:Angry 3.jpg
Image:Angry 4.jpg
Image:Angry_Marines_by_wolvesofruss.jpg
Image:Angry_Marine_by_KillaKatana.jpg|Maximum FUCK
File:Folding_chair.jpg|Original file was 1280x2304px of pure win. But the fucking site wouldn't upload it! Original at: http://j.mp/p3jxvI
File:Yourwingmen.jpg|Fanart with Angry Marine and Necron. Possibly from [[HS40K]].
File:Librarian_moarfistin_the_extremely_cross_by_vyler.jpg|Librarian Moarfistin, of the Angry Marines. Read more about him [[Angry_Marines#Librarian_Moarfistin.2C_the_Extremely_Cross|above]].
File:Angry marine in the kitchen.jpg|I thought I told you to get the fuck out of my kitchen
File:Angry doom.PNG|You guys. I think I just found a missing primarch.
</gallery></center>

[[Category:Imperial]][[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Space Marines]][[Category:Awesome]][[Category:Stories]][[Category:Stories/Warhammer 40,000]] [[Category:Warhammer_40,000/homebrew]][[Category:/tg/ 40,000]]

= External Links =
*[[Codex - Angry Marines 8th Edition]]
*[https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Codex_-_Angry_Marines#Angry_Marines_Special_Rules/ Codex - Angry Marines from 2017 (7th Edition)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0puigjMynxs/ ANGRY MARINES FUCK SHIT UP]
*[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/2753800/ ANGRY MARINES CODEX UPDATED!]
*[http://www.2shared.com/document/vtES35CD/CodexAngryMarines.html UPDATED ANGRY MARINES CODEX IN A CONVENIENT PDF!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWIIdx483OE/ ANGRY MARINES NATIONAL ANTHEM!]
*[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/7931028/images/1265355377893.jpg ANGRY MARINES DO A QUEST]
*[http://angry-marines.spreadshirt.com/ ANGRY MARINES SHIRT STORE!]
*[http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Algrim_Whitefang/Angry_Marines ANGRY MARINES 40KWIKIBLOG. COPIED RIGHT FROM THIS PAGE. COCKNUGGET!]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?m2861ceymxuvrbz Angry Marine Codex]
*[http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/323271.page Forum thread where poster showcases a kick-ass collection of Angry Marine customized models including vehicles]

Ork Gunz

2017-08-07T04:34:49Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Kannons */

{{Wh40k-stub}}
Da [[Orks]] love their [[Choppa]]s, make no mistake about that. But they also love putting lots of holes into [[Imperial Guard|Guardsmen]], [[Eldar|Elfdar]], Marines (both of the Spikey and Non Spikey varieties) and Nids at a distance while making a lot of noise. Thats why they have their Gunz.

== General Ideas ==
#Our shootaz fire bullets that 'splode when we pull da trigger fing, which launches da slug. Not as fancy or killy as those [[Space Marine|marine boyz]]' shootas, but it'z downright orky and any grot worth their salt can make an 'ole lot of dem in no-time.
#Da moar dakka we'z got, da killier we getz and if da boyz fire all dat dakka at da right place, we'z can even win.
#All Orkz want a shoota dat can shoot plenty of dakka, right'n proppa. We'z don't care about that "akkurashy" gubbins those 'ova gits take so much time gettin' right, if it can dakka real good an' look downright flash, we'z takin' it. Datz cuz da more we'z shoots, da more we'z hits!
#Ork Shootaz be da damn Orkiest fing eva! Any git like dem 'oomies and point-eared gits, who ain't Orky enough, can't even shoot an Ork shoota without it 'splodin'.
#Ork Shootaz'r 'ard enough dat even if ya run outta' ammo in da middle of a scrap, you'z can krump da git wif it real good an it'll still be workin' like da mekboy jus' made it!
#Bigga is betta!
#Most of dem puny gits need to stop before shootin'. Ork'r orky enough that we'z can shoot while runnin' or eva' dyin'.
#'ERE AIN'T NO SUCH 'FING AS ENUFF DAKKA!!!! Cept when it's pointed at you, but even dat's fun sometimes...

== Da Basikz ==
=== Grot Blasta ===
Grots are often herded into battle by their masters to soak up some fire and provide diversions. To make them slightly more likely to survive they often cobble together or are given small and (even by ork standards) simple pistols and shotguns to bring into battle known as Blastas. Mostly they are something to the effect of a musket made out of old pipes and BBQ lighters. Against most foes, this makes them more annoying than anything, but at least (for the grots) they are able to be annoying and score the odd kill at a distance instead of up close where they run the risk of getting squished.

=== Sluggas ===
A simple semi-automatic pistol with a bore diameter in the area of 30mm and the most common Ork gun you might find, allowing these primitive contraptions (comparable to rough modern firearms) to match the power of the Imperial <s>[[Lasgun|flashlight]]</s> Heavy Stubber. Usually low ranking Orks have one of these, blasting at their targets as they close in to hack them to bits, as well as pistol whipping their enemies in close quarters.

=== Shootas ===
An Ork assault rifle, the shoota is a fully automatic metal club used to spray hot lead inaccurately over a large target area. As Orks like to travel in large groups, their inaccuracy is less of a concern than one might imagine, as the sheer volume of fire they bring to bear is more than enough to hit even a small target even a few times. There is no standard design for the ork shoota- as many variants of the weapons exist as there are orks that wield them, as most are hodge-podge conglomerations of scrap metal. They often look and function like a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MG_08 Spandau machine gun], Maxim machine gun or, if the ork is particularly rich, the [[Awesome|MG42]].

=== Big Shootas ===
Big Shootas are put onto vehicles, in clustered stationary mounts, or carried by Orks that have an obsession with having the biggest, loudest and most destructive shootas possible (which they aren't even). They are heavy caliber weapons even by Ork standards used to saturate the enemy with as much heavy fire as possible. Since it clocks in right in the middle of a Heavy Stubber and a Supa Shoota it's a lot like taking a small single barrell 20mm aircraft cannon and putting in the hands of an ork, though it probably has fatter, orkier rounds. It functionally deals about as much damage (on tabletop) as a Heavy Bolter without needing to explode, the downside being it's massive recoil which da orkz fink is da best!

=== Burnas ===
Not so much a gun as a furious campfire, the Burna is the Ork answer to a need for a [[Flamer]]. Given to [[FAIL|pyromani-orks]], these weapons are devastating, especially if wielded en-masse (and they always are). They are also explosive due to the huge backpack full of [[meme|propane and propane accessories]] that the wielder needs to fuel the weapon. Burnas can also be used to cut and fuse metal, giving a practical use to those Orks who love to see their fellows "do the burny dance." This also helps against armored foes, go figure.

=== Stikk Bomb ===
Not a gun, but still worth mentioning. An overgrown ork hand grenade, built in a similar manner to a German stick grenade. Big enough to hit enemies with in close combat but this usually makes the 'nade go off in the Ork's hand, killing both him and whoever he's hitting.

=== Rokkit Launchas ===
Nothing more than pipes with rockets and blast shields on one end and a trigger on the other. They have a very short range compared to other races' missiles, but Orks never do anything halfway, so they come on the cheap. Mounted on all Ork vehicles and carried by Tankbustas.

== 'eavy Gear ==
=== Skorchas ===
The Burna's bigger brother, the Skorcha is mounted on Ork vehicles or attached to Nobs' Shootas. Usually paired with a huge tank of fuel, the weapon is used to burn down slow infantry or harassing bikers. Powerful enough to wreck lightly armored vehicles as well, but Orks like the thrill of leaving burning wakes of flailing bodies too much to think of such a thing.

=== Deffguns ===
Heavy automatic cannons built from alien technology, too many teef, or usually both. These provide most of the Ork's (heavy) ranged firepower, and deafen the wielder and anyone nearby. These guns buck, spark, spin and flash like no other, and are the second-deadliest infantry-portable Ork weapon. They are Imperial Autocannons in function, and sometimes in fact, but with random rate of fire because of ORKY influences.

== Da Big Stuff ==

=== Supa Shootas ===
Interesting to say the least. Supa Shootas are like an Ork version of an Autocannon and Assault cannon; they have close to the same tech level and effectiveness as the former, per shot power a lot like the latter, and rate of fire falling in the middle. Usually seen on some Ork fliers, it's pretty much a 30mm rapid fire Autocannon by real life standards. Would be pretty scary if the Orks actually knew how to shoot straight, which makes a bunch of Big Shootas scarier than one or two of these unless it's shooting at a tank since at least they can put out a ton of DAKKA.

=== Kannons ===
Exactly what you think they are. Except not. Kannons come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and calibers, but most common of all designs is the short-barreled, high-caliber breach-loader. The kannon actually serves the same function to Orks as the Missile Launcher does to the Imperium, capable of firing a solid shell or penetrating explosive for vehicle busting, or a canister shot or fragmentation shell to tear up infantry. Too heavy to be carried by even an Ork, these metal beasts are usually mounted on vehicles or artillery wagons, and have a longer reach than the Rokkit Launcha. In [[Gorkamorka]], kannons were an ork portable weapon roughly comparable to an ork shotgun, but nowadays these weapons are known as speschul shootas.

=== Lobbas ===
Essentially a big metal pot jammed with gunpowder and a bomb, usually in that order. The Lobba serves as an Orkish mortar, and is favored by Grot artillery crew for being able to kill things without the enemy having to see you. The huge recoil it generates relegates it to be mounting on vehicles or artillery carts. It is powerful, but most armor will deflect its blast.

=== Zzap Guns ===
A unique piece of technology crafted by energy-loving Mekboyz, a Zzap gun is a rough approximate to a Lascannon. Roughly. The gun consists of a metal barrel covered in wires, a capacitor, and a power source. The crew use a lever (which electrocutes the user) to determine the charge built up in the capacitor before firing a literal lightning bolt at the target. The gun defies all known physics, and the power supply is so heavy that it must be mounted. The unpredictable effectiveness of the weapon deters some Warlords from using it, but if Lady Luck smiles upon your green, hairless hide, you might be able to bring down Land Raiders.

=== Shokk Attakk Gun ===
An insane, super huge gun carried exclusively by Big Meks. This rotating monstrosity sucks up Snotlings through a tube and then somehow fires them via a warp rift into the target (literally). The poor Snotling sees chaos daemons during his travel and leaves the tunnel deranged and completely apeshit crazy. Crazy enough in fact that he will rip a Space Marine's two hearts out from inside his armour. The damage this contraption actually deals is random and when firing it can cause mishaps. Those range from the gun simply exploding (and taking the Big Mek along, as well as any of his friends standing near) to teleporting the Mek into close-combat to opening a warp chasm above the target out of which daemonic slime spills that kills '''everything'''! (Ok, not Baneblades or Titans but certainly Land Raiders)

== Kustomisations ==
=== Twin-Linked ===
When an Ork feels that his gun just isn't loud or killy enough, he'll get the nearest Mek to weld on another barrel and make it shoot twice the dakka. The fact that both barrels are still fed from a single magazine doesn't overly bother anyone.

=== Kombi-Weapons ===
If an Ork wants his gun to shoot different types of dakka he'll nail, tape or weld on another gun (like, say, a Skorcha or Rokkit Launcha).

=== Twin-Mags ===
If an Ork wants to shoot twice as long before reloading, he'll simply shove a second magazine into the hole where the shells come out of. No one knows where the shells go after this, but most agree that they also somehow get shot out of the barrel. (So essentially 65% more bullet, per bullet.)

== Looted Stuff ==
Orks use all of the crap that they swipe off dead enemies, especially their guns. No matter the foe, every Ork and Grot in the warband swarms the battlefield post-fight to pick up the best gubbins for themselves. Deff Skulls especially enjoy this practice (as well as stealing the best bits from the enemy beforehand, and from their buddies later). When an Ork either can't use the weapon, wants it tricked out, or feels that the gun would look better [[awesome|strapped into a shoulder mount with twelve of its companions]], they take it to the local Mekboy along with a pocketful of teef. The Mekboy takes the gun and customizes it to a rough approximation of the customer's desires, filtered through the mind of the oddboy.

{{template:Orks-Forces}}

[[Category:Orks]]

Kill Tanks

2017-08-06T09:59:33Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Kill Krusha */

[[File:KillBlasta2.jpg|400px|right|thumb|Kill Blasta, should not be confused with the Kill Bursta.]]
The Ork Kill Tanks are a family of Super Heavy Tanks developed by the Orks to compete with the likes of the Imperial [[Malcador Heavy Tank|Malcadors]] in both killiness and dakka. Each of these vehicles are surprisingly resilient and have specialized weaponry designed to either shred infantry like paper or demolish fortifications like they aren't even there. They are split between the '''Kill Blasta,''' '''Kill Bursta''' and '''Kill Krusha.'''

===Kill Blasta===
The Kill Blasta is the one specializing in anti-infantry warfare, armed with an imposing array of rattler kannons, dakka-guns, rapid-firing repeeder-kannons and shootas of all sizes, collectively referred to as the Giga Shoota. These tanks are casemate designs, like the Kill Bursta, probably due to the need to feed a staggering rate of ammunition into the array of automatic weapons which forms the main armament. Unfortunately this means that the driver must physically turn the entire vehicle to fire at a different angle.

Kill Blastas are known to be quite formidable against Monstrous Creatures despite its overall lack of armor piercing rounds and weaponry. Although this could be due to the ridiculous rate of fire in which its Giga Shoota consumes like a [[Neckbeard]] with his [[Meatbread]]; chewing the natural armor of these creatures until there is nothing left but tenderized minced meat and bloodied organs. Unfortunately due to the way its weapons are placed, it also means that ironically, Kill Blastas are actually ''really bad'' against fast and nimble infantry that can attack on its blind spots and hack it to death. This means that while armies dependent on mass of infantry like [[Tyranids]] will suffer with critical existence failure, the [[Eldar]] whose army consists of extremely fast and nimble troops can run circles around it. God forbid if the Kill Blasta has to face a group of [[Rape|Fire Dragons.]] To put it short, against Tyranids, Orks, Space Marines and Chaos Space Marines, the Kill Blasta shines as its horrendous fire rate can reduce an entire Nid horde into mush and continuously suppress an Astartes chapter who are too limited in number and too specialized in quality infantry warfare into submission. Whereas against armies that can [[Imperial Guard|field as much tanks and artillery like as Flak armor]], [[Necrons|tough enough to find the Giga Shoota as a minor anoyance]] or [[Eldar|fast enough to avoid its line of sight by jumping everywhere.]] The Kill Blasta starts to fold itself like paper.

[[File:KillBursta.jpg|350px|left|thumb|Ork Kill Bursta.]]

===Kill Bursta===
The Kill Bursta is the one that specializes in anti-everything-else warfare. Foregoing the idea of "more is better" in favor of "bigger is better," Kill Burstas mount a single huge hull-mounted howitzer capable of destroying tanks, bunkers, office buildings, city blocks, or fortified castles with ease. Since Orks don't really have much in the way of standardization, this enormous gun comes in two flavors: the Belly Gun and the Bursta Kannon. The Bursta Kannon fires a shell the size of a compact car, and so needs to be very close to its target or else the shell will simply fall out of the air before impact; the Orks don't care much though, because the resulting explosion is so almighty that it will rip apart quite possibly any target foolish enough to wander within range (even [[Titan]]s!). The alternative Belly Gun is an old Ork favorite, designed for use in [[Gargant]]s and large [[Stompa]]s, the Belly Gun chucks a huge pile of scrap metal, rubble, explosives and sometimes feces a considerable distance at whatever the driver can be bothered to point it at. Since each shot is aggregated by a horde of grot "gun-lowdaz" from whatever spare parts and odds and ends that reside in or around the vehicle mounting the Belly Gun, the results of any given shot may vary. Sometimes the grots have an ammunition dumps' worth of looted explosives and metal bits to load in the gun, and when the trigger is pulled a whole regiment of foes are suddenly erased from existence. Other times the grots can't be bothered to find enough tat before the inevitably over-eager gunner pulls the trigger again, and the Belly Gun merely hurls a misplaced aircraft bomb or human-sized chunk of concrete at the enemy, and nothing more. Due to the unthinkable recoil of either cannon, the casemate design returns for the Kill Bursta, and the static kannon means the entire vehicle must move in order to aim and fire a single shot.

Fun fact: the Kill Bursta is loosely based on the Sturmtiger assault gun, a Tiger 1 conversion that mounted a 380mm rocket launcher as a building-demolishing howitzer. The rocket launcher was adapted from a depth-charge launcher. Now dat's right Orky.

[[File:KillKrusha2.jpg|400px|right|thumb|DRIVE ME CLOSA! I WANT TO KRUMP DEM WITH MY CHOPPA!]]

===Kill Krusha===
Unlike its previous brethren, the Kill Krusha is a fully front-line battle tank with a semi-turreted Krusha Kannon that can fire a range of specialized rounds. Designed on the infamous Forge World of Tigrus millenia after the Orks had converted the planet into a huge mekboy-run tinker shop, the Kill Krusha is an over-built and over-designed mess of a tank that absolutely ruins the days (and ends the lives) of everyone who opposes it. Having an entire forge world worth of shops and weapon designs on their hands, its no surprise that the Murda-Meks of Tigrus decided to "have good ideas" all over this <strike>poor</strike> '''ZOGGIN BOOTIFUL''' tank.

Firstly, the Krusha Kannon is an all-too-powerful gun that sports a supremely complicated auto-loader design. Dubbed "a miracle of Orky design," this hair-brained device was probably equal parts a battlefield flexibility enhancer and an excuse to kick unscrupulous grot loaders out of the tank by greedy Ork gunners who just want to deafen themselves in peace. The end result was a collection of gubbinz and bits that was so complicated it forced a number of grot oilers to tend to the auto-loader in perpetuity (effectively putting as many grots into the tank as it took out in the first place). The Krusha Kannon as a whole was trying to fill every armament role at once, while similar tanks like the Leman Russ, Sicarian and Macharius have different guns fitted for different roles. In battle there are sometimes jams from mechanical failure, or the attendant grots get caught in the gears. Other times the autoloader (or the grots, or the gunner) load the wrong shell. [[Fail|The worst possible failure can result in the shell being fitted in backwards, causing it to explode the breach and inflict horrendous damage to the Kill Krusha itself.]]

Secondly, the entire drive train of the tank is essentially fucked sideways. The original tanks must have either been designed by a single mad mek or a committee of a dozen stubborn meks for how poorly it was engineered. As a super-heavy main battle tank fit to take on multiple battlefield roles and win, the Kill Krusha roughly fills the same role for the Orks that the [[Macharius Heavy Tank]] holds for the Imperium. However between Orks demanding bigger and better tanks than their enemies and the Kill Krusha adhering to the "main battle tank" philosophy of both moving quickly, hitting hard and taking a beating all at once, the tank has a very over-burdened transmission and suspension. While most Ork vehicles eschew suspension all-together, the Murda-Meks must have spent too long pouring over Imperial STC printouts, because the Kill Krusha is a shockingly fast and maneuverable tank as long as it is in optimal working order. Given the Orkish propensity for not worrying over details, these design choices were abominable; the tank's suspension and transmission had a tendency to [[derp|explode violently when struck]], throwing coil springs and gears everywhere whilst tearing itself apart. The tank rapidly gained a reputation for being "highly sprung." It worked great, until it didn't. None of this was helped by later efforts by other meks to make their own Kill Krushas, all of whom had some lunatic idea of how to "solve" the problem with the drives.

Regardless of the ever-present maintenance issues, the tank remains a flexible fighter and a tough nut to crack. The Krusha Kannon has numerous types of shells to chose from each turn, such as the standard high-explosive "Boom" shot, the armor-piercing "Tankhammas", the anti-infantry shrapnel "Scrap Kanisters," and the incendiary "Blast Burnas". Kill Krushas come in endless varieties, some sporting several Big Shootas in a crown of all-around coverage, some with banks of Rokkit Launchas to eliminate flanking vehicles, and a few over-ambitious meks will further push the Krusha Kannon's complexity by adding ludicrous gyroscopic stabilizers. Some Krusha tanks are even commanded by [[Gretchin|Gretchin]]. Most every version of these Kill Krusha tanks are tended-to by a horde of numerous Grots who keep the rattling monster-tank going with constant hammer blows, bolt tightening, and judicious application of [[Squig|oiler squigs.]]

{{Template:Orks-Forces}}
[[Category:Vehicles]]

Ork Boy

2017-07-31T02:55:06Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Armaments */

[[File:1518674-callin_da_boyz_by_majesticchicken.jpg|600px|thumb|right|Violence and destruction has never been this fun.]]

<blockquote>"Da first an' best part of a WAAAGH is a good ol' mob of Boyz!"
-Kaptin Bluddflagg
</blockquote>

The Ork Boy is the most ubiquitious type of Ork in the entire galaxy, and almost certainly ''the'' most common warrior in Warhammer 40000. A Boy is basically your average Ork, a brutish war-addict, who has no concept of "enough" - Every Ork will always strive to be better at their trade (Read: Killing) than the rest of the Boyz in the Mob by getting bigger weapons, harder armour and by generally being more boisterous than the rest. The vast majority of the Ork race are Boyz in some capacity and any proper Warboss has thousands of these under him, only waiting to get into a scrap - To most of the Boyz, it doesn't matter where or with who, just as long as they get to fight something.

Most Boyz are just happy fighting, shooting and bludgening, but some of them stick out from the norm and feel attracted to a certain type of fighting. Examples are [[Burna Boyz|Burnas]], [[Stormboyz|Stormboyz]] and [[Tankbustas]], who are called something else by other Boys because of this tendency. Some even get urges to do stuff that isn't strictly fighting, which understandably seems fishy to most Orks, and are therefor called [[Oddboys]].

The mobs of Boys are lead by [[Nob]]s, who keep the Orks in line and krump them if they get uppity. He also serves as a means of bringing orders to the mob from the [[Warboss]].

Somewhat notable is that the term "boy" is a fairly... loose one. On the one hand, orks are broadly masculine, but androgynous. Also, orks spring fully-formed from the ground as more-or-less complete boyz. The average ork in a war is certainly no older than a human child (even younger than the Whiteshields!).

== Armaments ==

Most Boyz like smashing as well as shooting stuff, so it's up to the individual Ork to get what equipment he wants. A handgun of sorts called a Slugga is usually a good pick for the Ork dispositioned to melee, as he can get a few noisy shots off before going into krumping range, while the more [[shooty]] Orks pick up two-handed Shootas, which spew out a lot more shots than a Slugga and is noisier to boot. Most Orks also wear a simple leather overall with some metal plates for protection <strike>(which isn't very good at protecting them no matter how much that Ork believes it can)</strike>'''*BOFF*''' STOOPID HUMIES FINK ORKZ NEED ARMA? ORKZ DUN NEED ARMA'! HUMIE'S NOT LARFIN' WHEN WE STOMPS YER, YA GIT!. A few (known by the others as 'Ardboyz) bring heavier armor though, which can stop most normal bullets. Most also bring a few Stikkboms for the occasional bang.

== Tabletop ==

[[File:Ork 'Ard Boy.jpg|400px|thumb|left|Ork Boys wear 'Ard Armour because they are right 'ard. ]]

The standard Ork Boy is the [[Tarpit|workhorse]] of [[Warhammer 40,000/6th Edition Tactics/Orks/Dred Mob|almost]] all Ork forces and are some of the best horde infantry in the entire game. Bought in units of 30 Orks at most at 6 pt per Boy, you can quickly and very inexpensivly get huge numbers of models on the table, able to swarm your opponent and fuck over any plans he had of Deep Striking something behind your lines, simply because there won't be any space. They look cool too, having numerous options and being a well of inspiration for kitbashing, and a tide of green muscle just feels so, so... '''Warhammerish'''.

Bear in mind that in [[Warhammer 40,000 7th Edition|7th Edition]], Boys don't work as they have always done, simply because so much can kill your green hooligans before they get into charge range - To get that far, your Boys have either used valuable time digging through the dirt to get some Cover saves or been running through the field getting shot at, while probably suffering numerous Leadership tests, who ''can'' be circumvented by the Mob Rule, but as that will make the unit hit itself a few times in the process, it isn't always favourable to do so. When (or if) you reach the enemy line and get to bashing, your mob might be severely depleted, and then you have to get through Overwatch and pretty much anyone hit before you in melee, so you might be skewered by those [[Imperial Guard|lasgun-bayonets]] before even getting to krump things.

This is where the new (or old) WAAAGH-rules come into play. All Orks now have 'Ere We Go, which let them reroll one dice when charging, which is pretty good in itself, but it harnesses something far better - If you have a Warboss in your force (And why wouldn't you), you can call a WAAAGH, which lets all units run AND charge in the same turn. This lets Boys able to reach combat in turn 2-3, which is frankly invaluable for a force based so much around getting stuck in with a wicked amount of models as the Orks. On top of that, all Orks have 2 Attacks, and get one if they have Sluggas and Choppas, alongside that crucial extra Attack from charging. And they all have Furious Charge as well, which, while rather meager in this version, help them krump gitz even moar proppa - Just remember that they have to ''get'' there somehow, and that isn't something you can do lightly - Orks are random and fun, yeah, but you can really get somewhere by thinking a bit, as with Warhammer 40,000 in general.

Your average Boy has Stikkboms and a Slugga and Choppa, and from there you can upgrade to your hearts content. For a measly 1 pt you can get a Shoota instead of the Slugga, losing one Attack but getting an Assault 2 S4 AP 6 gun in exchange. This helps soften enemies up before mopping them up (Shoota Boys can still kick all kinds of ass, you just need to make sure the unit they charge is softened up enough before charging), but can also put enough shots downrange to be effective as a ranged squad. You can also give any Mob 'Eavy Armour, a cheap 4+ [[Armor Save]], but think about this before upgrading the whole bloody Mob - 4 pts per Boy is a lot when you will likely have around 30 of them running around with it, and there are a good amount of weapons who can ignore 4+ saves in the game right now.

You can also give up to 1 boy per 10 a Special Weapon, which is either a Big Shoota (A nifty weapon for putting more shots downrange, but not strictly needed) or a Rokkit Launcha (A cheap S 8 AP 3 a turn), which can boost the units shooting. Most important is now the Nob, who can help the squad out in combat as well as with Mob Rule checks. He has all the standard options for a Nob - Kit him out to help the unit.

{{Template:Orks-Forces}}

[[Category: Orks]]

Melta

2017-07-09T08:57:49Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Gamma Pistol */

[[File:Meltagun.png|400px|thumb|right|The ubiquitous meltagun, one of GW's [[Butthurt|only]] [[Awesome|original]] [[Skaven|ideas]]. Though forms of suspiciously similar real-life microwave-based weaponry predate WH40K by at least two decades.]]
'''Melta weapons''' are a type of anti-armor weapon used widely by the forces of the [[Imperium]] and [[Chaos]]; the [[Tau]], [[Eldar]] and [[Necrons]] also employ their own variants. Think of infrared ovens IN SPACE, infused with extra [[RAGE]], and shot out using a tremendous amount of infrared light to [[rage|super-agitate]] the target, so that it heats up to the point where it's hot enough to melt anything from power-armor to super-heavy tank armor.

The problem with melta-based weapons is that due to the super-high energy consumption and heat generation, it's only usable at short range. In comparison to the equally useful [[Plasma]]-based guns, meltas are a lot stronger but have a much shorter range, but then again meltas don't explode in your face on a bad roll, but on the gripping hand, Plasma weapons allow your troops some breathing room since they can be used at medium range so your troops aren't always at the risk of being caught in a vehicle's explosion, murdered in CQC, or ambushed by a nearby gunline after they fire off their guns in one turn.

Though suited towards tank hunting, the melta-based guns are good weapons for all-around attack, defense and infiltration, though it falls short in terms of range. Infiltration with this can [[Butthurt|take vehicles out of the fight before they even have a chance to fire their weapon]]... maybe [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs|that's how the Baneblades were lost?]]

Depictions of melta weapons firing have been spotty in the face of publications and vidya gaems. In several publications and [[Dawn of War]]: Soulstorm, melta weapons fire a constant stream, like a laser-flame thrower. But in the [[Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine|Space Marine video game]] they fire a single rapid wave of energy (they're also essentially shot-guns; Titus dispersed the beam so he could kill more Orks per shot), and the [[Dawn of War II]] series have melta weapons firing a single blue/purple beam, while Dark Crusade uses discrete blobs of melt.

==Imperial Melta Weapons==

===Gamma Pistol===
[[File:GammaPistol.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Gamma Pistol]]

A strange little weapon. You would be fooled to think that it is some sort of [[Radium Weaponry|Radium weapon.]] However its function and the ammunition it uses bears more in line with more conventional Melta weapons. Gamma Pistols are a type of weapon used by the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]]. The Gamma Pistol is entrusted only to the truly blessed and most honored among the Cult Mechanicus.

A true maser in its own right. The beam of ionizing radiation that leaps from its muzzle can reduce a man to a blackened shadow in a second, but this is a waste of its true strength. Those able to tame its savage machine spirit can cut holes in an even enemy fortifications if necessary.

===Inferno Pistol===
[[File:Inferno_Pistol_-_Blood_Angels.JPG|110px|right|thumb|Inferno Pistol]]
The '''Inferno Pistol''' is a rare pistol-sized melta weapon. Only the [[Ordo Hereticus]], [[Blood Angels]] and [[Sisters of Battle]] get to use them. Their range is so short that you would have more opportunities to perform a [[Adeptus Orthodontus|root canal]] on your enemy in the middle of battle than use them (with even less range than the famous Bruce Lee one-inch punch). Still, those [[Hats|big-hatted pastors]] love nothing more than the look on your face when they one-shot your Leman Russ. [[Blood Angels]] and their successors have a variant called the '''Infernus Pistol'''. [[Sanguinius]] used one in combination with his [[Power weapon|Power Sword]] for close combat, and [[Dante]] currently wields an Artificer Infernus Pistol known as the Perdition Pistol.

With their latest codex the Inferno Pistol is now at home with the [[Blood Angels]] and available to a variety of their assault specialized units.

===Meltagun===
[[File:Meltagun2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Meltagun]]
The '''meltagun''' is the standard armor-breaching "special weapon" available to Imperial armies -- Tactical Squads of [[Space Marines]] can take one, Special Weapon Squads of [[Imperial Guard]]smen can take three, basic Sisters of Battle can take two and Sororitas Dominions can take up to four.

Given their fairly quiet and very effective nature, infiltrating parties make use of meltaguns to destroy enemy vehicles before they get a chance to fight on the battlefield. They are also given names such as 'fusion guns', 'melters' and 'cookers'.

===Multi-Melta===
[[File:MMArt.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Multi-Melta]]
The '''multi-melta''' is essentially two meltaguns strapped together and supercharged, and in game terms only doubles the (already sucky) range and makes it a heavy weapon. Due to their size, multi-meltas are usually mounted on vehicles. The Leman Russ Demolisher may have sponson mounted multi-meltas and the Land Raider Crusader has a hull mounted multi-melta, the weapon fitting with both vehicles' short-range firepower. The Immolator may have twin-linked multi-meltas. They are also found mounted on Land Speeders and their variants, Attack Bikes, Razorbacks, and Dreadnoughts.

This thing is still beastly and tears apart single targets, vehicles or otherwise, but are so huge that only [[Space Marines]] and the [[Sisters of Battle]] can lift and move them by hand. It should be noted that Sisters of Battle love Melta weapons and, if given the chance, would only ever carry these things and [[Flamer|Flamers]].

=== Melta Bomb ===

For millennia, the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] hypothesized that there was a melta weapon with even less range than the meltagun, and sure enough, one day they found the melta bomb [[STC]] printout. Melta bombs are land-mine-sized fusion charges used to destroy enemy vehicles and fortifications; because they have to be placed next to the target to be effective, they are mostly given to assault units who will get up close and personal with the enemy on a regular basis.
[[File:Meltablast.jpg|350px|thumb|left|There is no better kill than overkill]]

===Melta Cannon===

The [[Imperial Guard]] felt left out, and decided to strap two Multi-Meltas together and show up the Sisters by making the '''Melta Cannon''', an EKS BAWKS HUEG Melta weapon strapped to the Devil Dog variant of the [[Hellhound]] tank. This thing dumps small blasts worth of Multi-Melta statline upon anything it deems unlucky today, and is one of the best ways of dealing with [[Terminator|Terminators]]. [[Titans (Warhammer 40,000)|Titans]] get an even bigger Melta Cannon with absolutely rapetastic statline - it's S10 AP1 10" (yes, TEN inches) blast that always roll extra D6 on partials and 2D6 on direct hits, and due to being primary weapon it also allow you to reroll primary to-pen dice. The only two downsides are its mediocre (for a titan) range and lack of ignores cover, which is silly, because fluff-wise this thing would melt through any wall and bunker like it was made of butter, not to mention some silly ruins and trees.

===Magna-Melta===

The '''magna-melta''' is the [[Caestus Assault Ram]]'s main ranged weapon. It is primarily intended for cutting through spaceship hulls to deposit its boarding crew inside, though it turns out to vaporize soldiers just fine on the ground.

===Melta-Cutter===

The [[Death Korps of Krieg]]'s [[Hades Breaching Drill]] uses a melta-drill to dig through the ground. This '''melta-cutter''' is also extremely effective at liquifying units above ground.

===Siege Melta Array===

The [[Mastodon]] Superheavy Transport, in addition to its other wonderful bullshit, sports a front-mounted battery of melta weapons, ideal for punching massive holes in the heaviest targets. While this is perfect for opening breaches in fortresses for transport to vomit its 40-man capacity into, it's also an excellent answer to enemy superheavies or just deleting fortifications, as its Stone Burner rule scores extra hits with every Penetrating Hit against a fortification.

{{Template:40k-Imperial-Weapons}}

== Eldar Melta Weapons ==
The [[Eldar]] employ fusion guns, fusion pistols, and fire pikes for their portable anti-tank weaponry. Fusion guns and fusion pistols are meltaguns and inferno pistols in a shape more pleasing to Eldar aesthetics, but fire pikes are longer range (18") meltaguns with no additional downsides. Fire Dragons can take a fusion gun on every squad member and their sergeant can take a fire pike.

{{40k-Eldar-Weapons}}

== Dark Eldar Melta Weapons ==
[[Dark Eldar]] have the Heat Lance, a weapon that takes the best of the Lance and Melta weapons to obliterate any vehicle that gets too close.

{{Template:40k-DEldar-Weapons}}

== Ork Melta Weapons ==
[[Ork]] [[Psyker|Weirdboyz]] who have cheating dice rolls can throw a melty lightning blast capable of vaporizing Land Raiders. It's called [[Derp|Psychic Vomit]]. Yes, they vomit energy.

== Necron Melta Weapons ==
Yep that's right, even the [[Necrons]] have Melta-Weapons in the form of the Heat Ray that can be used either as a focused beam (two shots at STR8 AP1) or as a heavy flamer (AP4 STR5) is used exclusively by the [[Triarch Stalker]], and the short-ranged but very destructive Heat Cannon used by Sentry Pylons.

== Tau Melta Weapons ==

=== Fusion Blaster ===
The primary [[Tau]] melta weapon is the '''fusion blaster''', the equivalent of the Imperial meltagun, only with higher range (think middle point in between of regular meltagun and multimelta). It's always mounted on battlesuits or vehicles.

=== Fusion Collider ===
A nice new toy for the nice new XV-95 Ghostkeel suit, the Fusion Collider is functionally a Fusion Blaster with a Blast template allowing it to destroy tightly packed TEQ's and Vehicles.

=== Fusion Cascade ===
The close-quarters-focused XV-9 Hazard [[Battlesuit]] can also take a '''fusion cascade''', which is capable of a higher rate of fire (it's Assault D3 instead of 1), at the cost of reduced strength (S6 instead of 8), though it is still as capable of penetrating armor as a regular Melta.

=== Fusion Cannon ===
[[Forge World]] produces a variant turret for the [[Hammerhead Gunship]] that mounts a twin-linked '''fusion cannon''', which is the equivalent of the [[Devil Dog]]'s Melta Cannon (i.e. a melta pie-plate) but <s>twin-linked</s> with two shots (though each of them counts as separate weapon, so no move and shoot both).

=== Fusion Eradicator ===
While humans made their titan-sized melta cannons having huge blasts, Tau went the different way and basically created gatling-multimelta, capable of evaporating any single target in a torrent of heat, and mounted it on Ta'Unar Supremacy Suit. They have yet to figure out how to make it more reliable, as in a current state it wears of so quickly the whole weapon system should be replaced after each battle, and it's not a cheap thing, but as the Imperial Knights lead the Imperium's counter-attack to retake the Damocles Gulf, a weapon, capable of reliably one-shoting them is worth any price.

{{40k-Tau-Weapons}}

[[Category:Chaos]][[Category:Necrons]]

Gork

2017-07-06T08:31:10Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* History */

[[File:LatestGorkandMork.png|700px|right|thumb|Gork is the one on the left that looks like he just ate a bowl full of ghost chili peppers.]]
'''''GORK IS BEZT AT KRUMMPIN'ND BASHIN WAAAAAAAAGH!!! - The Words of Gork summing up Ork Kulture ''''' 

==Introduction==
'''Gork''' is one of the two [[Ork]] gods. He is the more brutal but cunning out of the twins while [[Mork]] is the more cunning but brutal. What is the difference you may ask? While to put it in a manner in which most non-Orks could even quantify, Gork is the one that will bash your face into a pulp if you so dare look at him (Which represents the Orks blatant manner on full frontal assault) while Mork is the one that will smash your head in while you aren't looking (Which represents the cunningness of some Orks). Essentially both are <strike>not</strike> to be confused with each other.

Prior to 7th edition, Orks had no idea which god was Gork and which god was Mork (and debates were just another excuse to fight each other). This was eventually dropped because it was super awkward to write. Most likely [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|the Prophet of Gork and Mork]] laid down his [[Weirdboy|head]]-canon, and the other Orks figured he was big enough to close the matter.

==Gork Himself==
Gork as noted, is the Ork god for sheer might and power. Some may debate that the ork Gods can compete with the Chaos Gods when talking about cunningness or power, but there is no way of knowing for sure. As the Warp's nature is ever-changing and spontaneous, the might of a certain god is never set in place. Although, there is a fact that each race's feelings are represented by an entity in the Warp and as the ork population and crusades grow in number, so does the might of Gork and Mork. In the long run, in a sense, he could arguably be one of the most powerful entities in the warp along with his twin Mork and the Chaos Gods. Unlike his twin, Gork favors (and in turn is often favored by) the likes of Warbosses and Nobz as well as countless other Orks due to his manifestation of the Ork's prime brutality and CQC fighting. Due to this, Gork may be more physically powerful than Mork but is less intellectually competent and cunning as a result, creating a balance of power between the twins.

==History==
[[File:83fc1d4e8629e3b34a78b2f69e5783b5.jpg|right|300px|thumb|What Gork and Mork do in their free time, harassing the [[Emperor|Emprah.]]]]
Of what can be determine on what little (If any) history on the Orks, both Gork and Mork came about during a distant time when all of the Ork's psyche started channeling their existence (And unwanted violence) into the [[Warp]], similar to that of the Eldar, however unlike the space elves the Ork's gods often like to get a bit more 'personal' with their subjects i.e. [[Rape|will offer cosmic aid to whoever is chanting their names long enough and if they decide they are worthy enough of their aid; if they are considered worthy then woe to any forces opposing the tsunami of green people.]] Although they are both idolized upon, [[derp|the Orks often have no idea who they are directly praying to resulting in much]] [[lulz]] [[FAIL|if a Wyrdboy pray for Gork's space foot to crush the enemy only to have Mork turn up instead to psychically make his head explode for mistaking their identity (Not as if they both care anyways).]]

The only distinction that can be made between the two is that Gork is the more favored of the two gods for the more common greenskins as he is the manifestation of power and might for the Orks, while Mork is more favored towards Orks that possess a sheer level of intellect and cunning such as BigMeks, Gretchins, Flashgitz and other Oddboyz. Whatever is the case, both are rumored to be more powerful than Khorne due to the sheer number of psychic might of the Orks and may actually have the power to snap Khorne like some sissy daemonette.

In fact, mirroring the Orks as a faction themselves, it would make sense if Gork and Mork are stronger together than any other god. The reason that this would not present a problem is that much like the Ork race, they fight each other as much as other factions.

Although no one has the faintest idea on what these twin gods may truly look like, they can at least be interpreted through the various designs of the BigMek's [[Stompa|Stompas and]] [[Gargant|Gargants]] which are noted to be effigies of the two gods.

{{Orks-Gods}}

Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader

2017-06-22T03:01:00Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Pre-Heresy */

{{Oldschool}}
[[Image:Rogue trader cover no text.JPG|400px|thumb|Is that an Ork's head being used as a stick grenade? You bet.]]
''"In the nightmare future of the 41st millennium there is no time for peace. No respite, no forgiveness. There is only war"'' -Ad in Dragon Magazine 147.

Remember when GW was good?

Remember when [[Spaaaaaace Marines]] were the coolest Wombles ever?

Remember when [[Warhammer 40,000]] wasn't all about depressing [[grimdark|GRIMDARK]] WAR at all times?

<s>Pepperidge Farm Remembers.</s> So do we.

Welcome to Rogue Trader. Make sure your rose-colored glasses are on nice and tight.

(Warning: Contains dangerous amounts of '80s.)

Not to be confused with the [[Rogue Trader (RPG)|Pen and Paper game]] by Fantasy Flight Games or [[Rogue Trader|actual Rogue Traders]].

== Background ==
This book, the first supplement ever released for Warhammer 40k, was written WAY back in the day when all [[Games Workshop]] put out was [[Warhammer Fantasy|Warhammer]] ([[Age of Sigmar|RIP]]). As in the fantasy kind. People back then would look at you funny if you asked them which one they were talking about because THERE WAS ONLY ONE. Anyway, this archaic tome was created as a GW-supported add-on adaptation of Warhammer, so players could experience the new, futuristic world of [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Needless to say, some people thought it was pretty cool.

Just for clarification, this was written IN THE '80S. This book contains less [[grimdark]] and more hair metal than most [[Neckbeards]] could stand before [[Rage|raging]], but luckily this book is a [[Grandpa Dreadnought|Venerable Dreadnought]]. No joke. It inspires awe and sometimes even [[Fist of the North Star|manly tears]] in neckbeards, its legendary reputation has been passed down for centuries, and it has a wealth of information with which to aid anyone in their quests to create homebrew rules or craft inspired custom models. This includes how to make a [[Land Speeder]] out of a deodorant stick, so your army can smell as manly as it looks. The [[Beakie]] and the [[Squat]] call this book home. This is the impenetrable fortress which crusty old neckbeards sometimes fall back to to defend their points and rage about how things suck in <s>5th</s> <s>6th</s> <s>7th</s> 8th Edition; and its reputation alone makes all but the hardest-core troll or newest newfag concede defeat. This is where fluff reigns supreme, and everybody was [[awesome]]. It is also a book so enormous that most copies are lost from being used to moor battleships, as anchors proved insufficiently manly. It contains the [[Old School Roleplaying|MOST COMPLICATED THING EVER]] in the form of the Imperial Robot rules.

This is the original source of Warhammer 40,000.

At the time, this was the finished product, what the original creators ''intended''.

This '''IS''' Warhammer 40,000.

==Pre-Heresy==
[[Forge World]] has released a long lineup of so-called "pre-[[Horus Heresy|Heresy]]" models inspired by art from this era. They started with [[powered armor]], like the Mk. III "Iron" and Mk. VI "Corvus" patterns, and moved on to special weapons, including banana-mag-fed [[Missile Launcher]], the old (and still horrendous) [[Flamer]], and of course the AK-47 [[Bolter]]. They moved on to re-make the old Land Raider Spartan as the [[Land Raider Proteus]] and brought back the bubble-turret [[Predator Tank]], and now that they're making a whole game line set in the [[Horus Heresy]], they're going all-out. These look just as amazing as you think they should, and really live up to the nostalgia; you just have to pay Forge World prices to get them.

==Stuff==
[http://1d4chan.org/stuff/Rogue_Trader_Codex.pdf /tg/'s custom Rogue Trader Codex] (404 error)

Is there going to be a replacement for this link?

Nope.

WHY?

Try the Rogue Trader List Here: https://app.box.com/shared/2kdtqthn8a (This is the Macharian Crusade Campaign Book which contains a campaign book)

==See Also==
* [[Hrud]]
* [[Saharduin]]
* [[Ork#Rokkas|Goff Rokkas]]
* [[Illiyan Nastase]]

[[category:Warhammer 40,000]][[category:Skirmish-Level Wargames]][[category:awesome]]

Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader

2017-06-22T03:00:00Z

2602:306:32B2:7940:A5AA:AA1B:7A4E:AF4C: /* Background */

{{Oldschool}}
[[Image:Rogue trader cover no text.JPG|400px|thumb|Is that an Ork's head being used as a stick grenade? You bet.]]
''"In the nightmare future of the 41st millennium there is no time for peace. No respite, no forgiveness. There is only war"'' -Ad in Dragon Magazine 147.

Remember when GW was good?

Remember when [[Spaaaaaace Marines]] were the coolest Wombles ever?

Remember when [[Warhammer 40,000]] wasn't all about depressing [[grimdark|GRIMDARK]] WAR at all times?

<s>Pepperidge Farm Remembers.</s> So do we.

Welcome to Rogue Trader. Make sure your rose-colored glasses are on nice and tight.

(Warning: Contains dangerous amounts of '80s.)

Not to be confused with the [[Rogue Trader (RPG)|Pen and Paper game]] by Fantasy Flight Games or [[Rogue Trader|actual Rogue Traders]].

== Background ==
This book, the first supplement ever released for Warhammer 40k, was written WAY back in the day when all [[Games Workshop]] put out was [[Warhammer Fantasy|Warhammer]] ([[Age of Sigmar|RIP]]). As in the fantasy kind. People back then would look at you funny if you asked them which one they were talking about because THERE WAS ONLY ONE. Anyway, this archaic tome was created as a GW-supported add-on adaptation of Warhammer, so players could experience the new, futuristic world of [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Needless to say, some people thought it was pretty cool.

Just for clarification, this was written IN THE '80S. This book contains less [[grimdark]] and more hair metal than most [[Neckbeards]] could stand before [[Rage|raging]], but luckily this book is a [[Grandpa Dreadnought|Venerable Dreadnought]]. No joke. It inspires awe and sometimes even [[Fist of the North Star|manly tears]] in neckbeards, its legendary reputation has been passed down for centuries, and it has a wealth of information with which to aid anyone in their quests to create homebrew rules or craft inspired custom models. This includes how to make a [[Land Speeder]] out of a deodorant stick, so your army can smell as manly as it looks. The [[Beakie]] and the [[Squat]] call this book home. This is the impenetrable fortress which crusty old neckbeards sometimes fall back to to defend their points and rage about how things suck in <s>5th</s> <s>6th</s> <s>7th</s> 8th Edition; and its reputation alone makes all but the hardest-core troll or newest newfag concede defeat. This is where fluff reigns supreme, and everybody was [[awesome]]. It is also a book so enormous that most copies are lost from being used to moor battleships, as anchors proved insufficiently manly. It contains the [[Old School Roleplaying|MOST COMPLICATED THING EVER]] in the form of the Imperial Robot rules.

This is the original source of Warhammer 40,000.

At the time, this was the finished product, what the original creators ''intended''.

This '''IS''' Warhammer 40,000.

==Pre-Heresy==
[[Forge World]] has released a long lineup of so-called "pre-[[Horus Heresy|Heresy]]" models inspired by art from this era. They started with [[powered armor]], like the Mk. III "Iron" and Mk. VI "Corvus" patterns, and moved on to special weapons, including banana-clip-fed [[Missile Launcher]], the old (and still horrendous) [[Flamer]], and of course the AK-47 [[Bolter]]. They moved on to re-make the old Land Raider Spartan as the [[Land Raider Proteus]] and brought back the bubble-turret [[Predator Tank]], and now that they're making a whole game line set in the [[Horus Heresy]], they're going all-out. These look just as amazing as you think they should, and really live up to the nostalgia; you just have to pay Forge World prices to get them.

==Stuff==
[http://1d4chan.org/stuff/Rogue_Trader_Codex.pdf /tg/'s custom Rogue Trader Codex] (404 error)

Is there going to be a replacement for this link?

Nope.

WHY?

Try the Rogue Trader List Here: https://app.box.com/shared/2kdtqthn8a (This is the Macharian Crusade Campaign Book which contains a campaign book)

==See Also==
* [[Hrud]]
* [[Saharduin]]
* [[Ork#Rokkas|Goff Rokkas]]
* [[Illiyan Nastase]]

[[category:Warhammer 40,000]][[category:Skirmish-Level Wargames]][[category:awesome]]