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Boatmurdered

2017-10-21T00:59:50Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1: Undo revision 447804 by 69.115.135.209 (talk) If you want to start removing all mentions of other boards then be my guest. This is not any different from /pol/ or /r9k/ articles.

[[Image:Boatmurdered flame.jpg|thumb|right|Yes, that dwarf IS on fire and he IS enraged.]]''"Welcome to fucking Boatmurdered!"''

Boatmurdered is the story of an infamous [[Dwarf Fortress]] succession game. Highlights include elephantine genocidal warfare against incessantly moronic-greedy dwarfs and "Fuck the World" levers that drown everything outside of the fortress in an ocean of all-consuming magma. There really is no good way to convey the insanity beyond reading the story itself. The story itself being once upon a time when the people at Something Awful (and by extension NeoGAF) were not a bunch of [[SJW|political semen nozzles.]]

==Basic Summary==

Essentially, Boatmurdered is a mysteriously abandoned colony in the mountains resettled by small group of dwarves and their rulers. For the first several years, Boatmurdered becomes a respectable fortress inhabited by near a hundred productive dwarf workers. At this point the rulers are beset by increasingly hostile waves of elephants and goblins who seek to maim every dwarf who leaves the mountain. One ruler offsets this by constructing a massive device that releases a flood of lava surrounding the fortress, killing all animal and plant life and leaving the surroundings a desolate wasteland.

As time goes on, the increasingly liberal use of this device angers many of surrounding civilisations: Elves and even the friendly humans. This cuts off the dwarfs from trade and the outside world. This goes as well as you can expect when a line of increasingly incompetent rulers who are either unqualified, hilariously inept or stark raving mad are left unrestricted and focus their entire efforts on selfishly building bigger and bigger burial tombs for themselves while countless working dwarfs die in the process.

Eventually, one of the final kings in a bout of madness releases lava onto a merchant band of humans, killing them all. The effects of this aggression is catastrophic as the lava creates a fire which spreads throughout the fortress, leading to already insane dwarven warriors, criminals and lunatics becoming mad beserkers due to all the smoke corrupting their brains. Within days the fortress becomes a bloodbath as omnicidal dwarfs kill eachother without mercy or thought. The only two survivors of this madness are a young girl, the defacto and final ruler of Boatmurdered, and a grizzled veteran who, seeing first hand the evil that lies within the very spirit of Boatmurdered, abandons the settlement for good: leaving the girl to her fate and promising himself to never return.

What happens next is largely unknown, although it is known many an archaeologist will discover the ruins of Boatmurdered only never to return.

==See Also==
*[[Journal of Kith]]

==External Links==
*[http://lparchive.org/Dwarf-Fortress-Boatmurdered/Introduction/ Let's Play Dwarf Fortress: Boatmurdered]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Elephant final solution.jpg|Project: FUCK THE WORLD in operation.
Image:Boatmurdered.jpg|The end of a legend.
Image:BoatmurderedAwesome.jpg|Also the end of a legend.
</gallery>

[[category:Dwarf Fortress]]

Transuranic Arquebus

2017-10-20T19:37:32Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1:

''"Advance on the Mechanicus forc-[[CLANG|CLANG-WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!]]"'' 

[[File:TransArq.jpg|400px|right|thumb|Instant death from [https://satwcomic.com/coffee-thief Switzerland to Finland].]]

Transuranic Arquebuss are a type of weapon used by [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] [[Skitarii]] Rangers. Like the [[Flechette Blaster]], it occupies its own niche as it is neither a Stubber (Ammunition and quality material is beyond any known Stubber, that and it hunts down ''tanks'') nor is it an Autogun (Again the gun is too specialized in firing only one type of ammunition whereas most Autoguns are more flexible in that regard). Known for their range, precision, and efficiency, these weapons fire a shell of depleted transuranium. That sounds really fancy but GW fails again, transuranium elements are just those elements with an atomic number above 92. These bullets made out of hyper dense and atomically unstable elements [[FATAL|allows it to puncture a tank from one side to the other, the resultant pressure wave also pulping any biological creatures inside.]] This is of course fucking stupid, DU projectiles in reality are touted for armor piercing capability and additionally a special property known as pyrophoricity. [[Awesome|As a DU penetrator hits the armor of the target the tip of the projectile begins to vaporize, and when it reaches the fighting compartment the now-vaporized metal sets everyone on fire]]

On the tabletop, it is an [[Rape|AP3 ARMORBANE sniper rifle.]] Keep in mind, Armorbane means you roll an additional D6 to determine penetration. Sniper weapons are S4 against vehicles by default, so a roll of two 5s means you're glancing Baneblades from ANY side. However, this does require a fair bit of luck to achieve, so Arc weapons are more reliable for bringing down Monoliths or Hammerheads. Transports (and whatever's in them), on the other hand, will not be so hard to crack. There is literally no vehicle this anti-tank rifle is incapable of theoretically making go boom pretty much across the board.

[[Anal Circumference|It has a ludicrous 60" range,]] so with enough of them you can bust open that METAL BAWKS and force those [[Mary Sues]] to foot slog their way through your fire lanes the rest of the game. Not to mention, anything that uses this gun has Relentless, so just walk sideways and get yourself a nice peek at some side armor if you're that worried. Two units of Rangers with 2 each camping both corners of your side should be able to ensure that at least one of them catches sight of side armor. Keep in mind that the average result of 2d6 is 7 (which will glance AV11 and penetrate AV10). So while it is possible to penetrate AV14, you are better off sticking to targeting transports to get the most out of this gun.

It also works beautifully with a Scryerskull Perspicatus on an allied Tech-Priest Dominus. Light up an enemy vehicle, re-roll armour penetration against it with your Arquebi. If taken in a Dominus Maniple, you can re-roll to-hit as well.

Unfortunately despite the benefits, it perhaps has the least synergy with your Skitarii. Straight up do not take it on Vanguard. Rangers are better since the non-specialists also have Precision Shots. However, you are better off taking them in minimal squads with two Transuranic Arquebuses. Having 3 in a unit sounds enticing, but keep in mind that requires having 7 Rangers sitting around doing nothing but wasting points.

{{40k-Imperial-Weapons}}

Boatmurdered

2017-10-20T19:34:25Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1:

[[Image:Boatmurdered flame.jpg|thumb|right|Yes, that dwarf IS on fire and he IS enraged.]]''"Welcome to fucking Boatmurdered!"''

Boatmurdered is the story of an infamous [[Dwarf Fortress]] succession game. Highlights include elephantine genocidal warfare against incessantly moronic-greedy dwarfs and "Fuck the World" levers that drown everything outside of the fortress in an ocean of all-consuming magma. There really is no good way to convey the insanity beyond reading the story itself. The story itself being once upon a time when the people at Something Awful (and by extension NeoGAF) were not a bunch of political semen nozzles. Do not expect the same good humor in this story from them today.

==Basic Summary==

Essentially, Boatmurdered is a mysteriously abandoned colony in the mountains resettled by small group of dwarves and their rulers. For the first several years, Boatmurdered becomes a respectable fortress inhabited by near a hundred productive dwarf workers. At this point the rulers are beset by increasingly hostile waves of elephants and goblins who seek to maim every dwarf who leaves the mountain. One ruler offsets this by constructing a massive device that releases a flood of lava surrounding the fortress, killing all animal and plant life and leaving the surroundings a desolate wasteland.

As time goes on, the increasingly liberal use of this device angers many of surrounding civilisations: Elves and even the friendly humans. This cuts off the dwarfs from trade and the outside world. This goes as well as you can expect when a line of increasingly incompetent rulers who are either unqualified, hilariously inept or stark raving mad are left unrestricted and focus their entire efforts on selfishly building bigger and bigger burial tombs for themselves while countless working dwarfs die in the process.

Eventually, one of the final kings in a bout of madness releases lava onto a merchant band of humans, killing them all. The effects of this aggression is catastrophic as the lava creates a fire which spreads throughout the fortress, leading to already insane dwarven warriors, criminals and lunatics becoming mad beserkers due to all the smoke corrupting their brains. Within days the fortress becomes a bloodbath as omnicidal dwarfs kill eachother without mercy or thought. The only two survivors of this madness are a young girl, the defacto and final ruler of Boatmurdered, and a grizzled veteran who, seeing first hand the evil that lies within the very spirit of Boatmurdered, abandons the settlement for good: leaving the girl to her fate and promising himself to never return.

What happens next is largely unknown, although it is known many an archaeologist will discover the ruins of Boatmurdered only never to return.

==See Also==
*[[Journal of Kith]]

==External Links==
*[http://lparchive.org/Dwarf-Fortress-Boatmurdered/Introduction/ Let's Play Dwarf Fortress: Boatmurdered]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Elephant final solution.jpg|Project: FUCK THE WORLD in operation.
Image:Boatmurdered.jpg|The end of a legend.
Image:BoatmurderedAwesome.jpg|Also the end of a legend.
</gallery>

[[category:Dwarf Fortress]]

Transuranic Arquebus

2017-10-20T19:25:20Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1: geedubs

''"Advance on the Mechanicus forc-[[CLANG|CLANG-WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!]]"'' 

[[File:TransArq.jpg|400px|right|thumb|Instant death from [https://satwcomic.com/coffee-thief Switzerland to Finland].]]

Transuranic Arquebuss are a type of weapon used by [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] [[Skitarii]] Rangers. Like the [[Flechette Blaster]], it occupies its own niche as it is neither a Stubber (Ammunition and quality material is beyond any known Stubber, that and it hunts down ''tanks'') nor is it an Autogun (Again the gun is too specialized in firing only one type of ammunition whereas most Autoguns are more flexible in that regard). Known for their range, precision, and efficiency, these weapons fire a shell of depleted transuranium. That sounds really fancy but GW fails again, transuranium elements are just those elements with an atomic number above 92. These bullets made out of hyper dense and atomically unstable elements [[FATAL|allows it to puncture a tank from one side to the other, the resultant pressure wave also pulping any biological creatures inside.]] This is of course fucking stupid; DU projectiles in reality are touted for armor piercing capability and additionally a special property known as pyrophoricity. [[Awesome|As a DU penetrator hits the armor of the target the tip of the projectile begins to vaporize, and when it reaches the fighting compartment the now-vaporized metal sets everyone on fire]]

On the tabletop, it is an [[Rape|AP3 ARMORBANE sniper rifle.]] Keep in mind, Armorbane means you roll an additional D6 to determine penetration. Sniper weapons are S4 against vehicles by default, so a roll of two 5s means you're glancing Baneblades from ANY side. However, this does require a fair bit of luck to achieve, so Arc weapons are more reliable for bringing down Monoliths or Hammerheads. Transports (and whatever's in them), on the other hand, will not be so hard to crack. There is literally no vehicle this anti-tank rifle is incapable of theoretically making go boom pretty much across the board.

[[Anal Circumference|It has a ludicrous 60" range,]] so with enough of them you can bust open that METAL BAWKS and force those [[Mary Sues]] to foot slog their way through your fire lanes the rest of the game. Not to mention, anything that uses this gun has Relentless, so just walk sideways and get yourself a nice peek at some side armor if you're that worried. Two units of Rangers with 2 each camping both corners of your side should be able to ensure that at least one of them catches sight of side armor. Keep in mind that the average result of 2d6 is 7 (which will glance AV11 and penetrate AV10). So while it is possible to penetrate AV14, you are better off sticking to targeting transports to get the most out of this gun.

It also works beautifully with a Scryerskull Perspicatus on an allied Tech-Priest Dominus. Light up an enemy vehicle, re-roll armour penetration against it with your Arquebi. If taken in a Dominus Maniple, you can re-roll to-hit as well.

Unfortunately despite the benefits, it perhaps has the least synergy with your Skitarii. Straight up do not take it on Vanguard. Rangers are better since the non-specialists also have Precision Shots. However, you are better off taking them in minimal squads with two Transuranic Arquebuses. Having 3 in a unit sounds enticing, but keep in mind that requires having 7 Rangers sitting around doing nothing but wasting points.

{{40k-Imperial-Weapons}}

Indrick Boreale

2017-10-20T02:20:25Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1: /* ...Or did he? */

[[Image:Indrick Boreale.jpg|thumb|right|Captain Boreale. The greatest and BAWLDEST of us all.]]
{{Awesome}}

[[Image:BOREALUM.jpeg|thumb|right|500pix|[[Meme|YES.]] ]]

Something akin to the King James VI of Warhammer 40K, '''Indrick Boreale''' is the Force Commander of the [[Blood Ravens]] [[Space Marines]] in the ''[[Dawn of War]]: [[Dawn of War#Soulstorm|Soulstorm]]'' campaign. Infamous for his speech impediment and baldness (He's a 12.0 on the 10.0 scale of baldness) and also famous for losing half of the Blood Ravens' forces after he presumably got all 500 Space Marines killed on Kaurava II (then toned down to 3 companies according to Cyrus in DoWII:CR). He is the origin of the memes [[Emprah]] and [[SPESS MEHREENS|SPESS MEHREENS]]. According to ''[[Dawn of War II]]'', he died in the [[Kaurava System]] during the events of ''Soulstorm'', which some have interpreted as something of an apology from Relic for the terrible quality of his performance, or possibly an in-game bonus. He is such a big failure that he drives Cyrus crazy and pushes him to join chaos in one alternate plotline.

Comically, Boreale was actually a rather awesome sniper as a scout ([[awesome|he had a sniper rifle named "Cold Mercy", where he used it to stalk some asshole heretic for 18 days before finally gave him the mercy he deserved]]), and he managed to do some good work before his promotion to Force Commander. His tragic career is the Peter Principle in action.

If he were victorious in the Kaurava campaign (which is non-canon), he will found a new [[Fortress-monastery]] in the Lands of Solitude, and rename the territory to "[[Derp|Borealum]]" in the Emprah's name (even though it's actually his own).

[[Image:B'oreal.png|thumb|right|Baldeale in all his shiny-headed glory.]]

==In-Game Stats==
Don't be fooled by Boreale's hilarious accent, nor the fact that he seems, at a glance, to be weaker than [[Davian Thule]] - Boreale is both quite a bit tougher and an exceptionally potent commander unit in his own right, boasting both better health and abilities (one such a ability called "inspiring speech" causes the entire enemy army to roll on the floor laughing their asses off) than Thule - though Thule does quite a bit more damage (of both ranged and close-combat flavors) and is impervious to knockdown when maxed (Boreale isn't), Boreale moves a little faster, has a bit more HP, regenerates faster, and provides much stronger benefits to his attached squad once he has his Chapter Banner ability, which will cause most units to regain morale so fast that it's unlikely they'll ever break in the first place - making it great for when you're attaching Boreale to an Assault Terminator Squad (a contrast to Thule, who was usually better-assigned to a Grey Knight unit). In addition, Chapter Banner makes Boreale himself regenerate morale so quickly that he's virtually impossible to break unless smack-dab in the middle of a big group of [[Necron|Flayed Ones]].

Putting it simply, like Boreale himself, his unit is survivable and works well as a blunt instrument.

Interestingly, Thule does notably more damage with Alexian's Blade (his tier-1 weapon upgrade, a power sword), than Boreale does with Rogal's Fist (his tier-1 weapon upgrade) despite similar stats. Their base damage with their Daemonhammers, however, are identical. Presumably, Boreale only recently "received" the mace from the gracious Imperial Fists, and has yet to become accustomed to its use.

==Boreale Addressing His Troops==
In a meeting between the [[Blood Ravens]]' finest Librarians and pious Chaplains, Captain Indrick Boreale requested from them a speech that would inspire his troops to victory, seeing that his original one was insufficient. While the 2 parties did make a glorious speech, Captain Boreale's ad-libs, mispronunciations and improvisations virtually gutted the speech made by them.

'' Tehre is noh time to beh lohst!

'' Batul Brothas!

'' Spehss Mahrens, todeh the enemeh is at oua doar! We know oua duteh and we will do eet. We fight for our honor as Blod Rehvens, as SPESS MAHRENS, and we fight in the nehme of the Empra!

'' And if we die this deh we die in gloareh, we die heroes' deffs, but we shall not die, no! It is the enemeh who will tehste deff and defeat!

'' As you know! Moast of oua battle brothars are shtehtioned in SPEHSS, Pruhpeared to deep strike! Oua perimeter has been pruhpeared in the even dat oua enehmies should be so bald and so foolish. We have plehced numerous beacons, allowing for muhltiple, simuln-tehneous and devashtehting defensive deep strikes

'' The Codecks astartees nehmes this maneuvah Steel Rehn. We will descend upon the foe, we will ovawhelm them - we will leave none alive! Meanwhile oua ground fawses will ensue the full defense of oua headkwaters

'' We are the spehss mahrens! WE ARE THE EMPRA'S FUREH!

Of course this is the edited version taught to young cultists to disgrace the honourable captain. This is the handy work of chaos. This was the original version found at his desk next to a pile of red and black crayons.

 There is at our honor, as Blood Ravens, as space marines, and so foolish.
 We are the emperor!
 If we fight in glory.
 We will descend upon the name of our headquarters.
 We will descend upon the emperor's fury There is at our door.
 We have placed numerous beacons, allowing for our honor, as Blood Ravens, as Blood Ravens, as Blood Ravens, as space marines, and devastating defensive deep strike!
 Our perimeter has been prepared in the event that our enemies should be lost!
 Battle brothers; space prepared to deep strike!
 Our perimeter has been prepared in the emperor!
 If we fight in space, prepared to deep strikes.
 The Codex Astartes names this maneuver steel rain.
 We fight for multiple simultaneous and we fight for our door.
 We are the emperor!
 If we will overwhelm them, we shall not die.
 No, We fight for our honor, as space marines, and we fight for our battle brothers are stationed in the name of the emperor!

==Position as a meme==
Boreale is the single biggest meme in the WH40K fanbase, all thanks to his voice acting courtesy of [[Scott McNeil]] (MIGHTY IS HE!!!). This was attributed to Soulstorm's hilariously lackluster VA scripting and Scott McNeil's awesome voice acting. The combination of hilarious fail unseen since the CDi Zelda series and pretty decent voice acting propelled Boreale to his current status. In short, much like the Zelda CDi series turning into the single largest repository of cringy YTPs and [[Rebecca Black]] being awesomely hilarious than being failtastically hilarious, Boreale swung the bar of fail so hard that fail transposed into [[awesome]].

[[File:Boreale_Emerges.png|thumb|200px|right|Indrick Boreale gloriously represented in the sacred light of the EMPRAH.]]

His opening speech is the main cause of his fame, the speech itself was, again, lackluster and boring (Honestly, who comes up with: ''"And if we die this day, we die in glory, we die heroes' deaths [[Derp|but we shall not die, no!]]"'') but how Scott said it. Many laughs were had with SPESS MEHRENS and the EMPRAH as with the entirety of his speech itself, which resulted with numerous YTPs, remixes, and hell even songs. The other minor bits about him is mostly being Bald, more specifically, the only Captain in the Blood Ravens to posses Astartes-pattern baldness other than [[Apollo Diomedes]]. Either way, many laughs were generated because of these and it's all thanks to Captain Boreale of the Blood Ravens, the greatest of them all (except that he sucks).

Truly the Emperor provides.

==On /tg/==
[[File:Boreale40M.jpg|thumb|600px|center|The Codecks Astartes nehms this manuveh Wehn Get!]]

==Codecks Indrick Boreale==
After much petition to GW, they finally allowed Boreale to be a separate force commander. Stats:

{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5" align="left"
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Indrick Boreale:''' || 165 || 6 || 5 || 4 || 4 || 3 || 5 || 3 || 10 || 2+/4++
|} 

'''Wargear''':
* '''Rogal's Fist'''
* '''Bolt Pistol''': See Codex: Space Marines. Can be swapped for a Plasma Pistol for 15 pts, or a Meltagun for +10 pts.
* '''Boreale's Artificer Armour'''
* '''Iron Halo''': See Codex Space Marines
* '''Personal Standard''': Counts as Company Standard. May be replaced with a Personal Teleporter.
* '''Frag Grenades'''
* '''Krak Grenades'''

'''Special Rules'''
* '''And They Shall Know No Fear'''
* '''Chapter Tactics (Blood Ravens)''': As per the rules for all Chapters who do not kmow their primogenitor Chapter, the Blood Ravens do not have a unique Chapter Tactic. Instead, the player can elect to use any existing Chapter Tactics from Codex: Space Marines and any Forge World supplements.
* '''Independent Character'''
* '''Counter-attack'''
* '''Furious Charge'''
* '''Astartes-Pattern Baldness''': Captain Boreale is so bald that his bald head (after considerable polishing) can be seen by his Bathul Brothars shtetioned in SPEHSS and even in the warp, who are pruhpared to deep strike at any moment, allowing them to use it like an improvised, bald, locator beacon to better their chances of launching multiple simultaneous and devastating defensive deep strikes. All reinforcements (friend or foe) entering the field using deep strike will not suffer scatter if they are deployed within 120" (that's right, 10 feet!) of Captain Boreale. Additionally, all reinforcements (friend or foe) entering the field using deep strike may re-roll scatter so long as Captain Boreale is deployed. Additionally, his bald head can intensify light at a surprising level, rivaling that of the searchlight commonly mounted on vehicles. Boreale automatically attacks as if he is using a Searchlight wargear during night fighting, exposing him to the enemy while illuminating their position to his allies. Enemies also ignore the night fighting distance check and gain +1 BS whenever they attack Captain Boreale and any squad he is attached to in the shooting phase while night fighting. If not night fighting, any unit that shoots at Captain Boreale will have their BS reduced by 1 point. Furthermore, any laser-based weapon (Lasgun) shot at Captain Boreale at any range with a Strength of 3 or less can be deflected by his bald head. When hit by a ranged laser weapon with S3 or less, roll a D3. If the result is 1: the attack is rendered as if it was a normal attack, if the result is 2: The attack is deflected and is rendered null, if the result is 3: the attack is instead re-directed to the attacking unit as if he is shot by his own weapon with only armor and invulnerable saves applying to the attacker. In addition, the attacking unit may not use their armor save if they shoot Captain Boreale while in assault phase.
* '''Stehl Rehn''' '''(some steh dry and others feel the pehn)''' Captain Boreale has mastered the tactic: [[Steel Rain]]. All friendly Space Marine units may deploy as many of their reserves entering the field using drop pods during any Phase.
* '''We are the Empra's fureh!''': Captain Boreale aspires to embody the Space Marines as the Emprah's fureh. Any unit captain Boreale joins automatically gets the Furious Charge special rule. Additionally, Boreale chants out his infamous battle cry during the charge, stunning enemies and causing them all to suffer from the Unwieldy special rule on their weapons when his unit charges. This ignores any wargear or rule that prevents them from doing so.
* '''Bald and Fewlish''': Captain Boreale is both bold and foolish. Boreale and any squad he is attached to reroll once per turn failed Morale, Pinning and Fear tests.
* '''Todeh the enemeh is at oua doar!''': Captain Boreale is ever alert and so are his troops. He and any squad he's attached to gain the Acute Senses USR.
------------------------------------------------------------------
* '''Rogal's Fist''': Rogal's Fist is a Power Mace, that is said to have been created by the Imperial Fists' Primarch himself. How it found its way into the Blood Ravens' Armoury, yet alone Boreale's hands, is a complete mystery.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! Strength !! AP !! Type
|-
| '''Rogal's Fist''' || - || 8 || 3 || Melee, Master Crafted, Concussive, Sweep Attacks
|}

** '''Sweep Attacks''': Captain Indrick Boreale can, instead of using his normal attack value, initiate a sweeping attack instead. All enemy models in base contact with Indrick Boreale suffer the same amount of attacks proportional to the number of models in base contact with him.

* '''Boreale's Artificer Armour''': Boreale's Artificer Armour has multiple pieces of technology that keep him alive even in the heart of the most gruesome fights on the battlefield. This armour counts as a Artificer Armour, but it also grants the Feel No Pain, It Will Not Die and Crusader USR.

==How Boreale lost his "voice"==
Scene starts as Thule defeats Gorgutz in Dark Crusade.
Gorgutz flees the Green Beach and is currently on his Ork ship.
Indrick Boreale is in his personal Thunderhawk with Techmarine brother Spasmius heading towards the Litany of Fury. Brother Spasmius had an unclear mind due to seeing a daemonette on imperial television, and hence drove Brother Captain Boreale into Gorgutz' ship, looking for Gabriel Angelos.

Nob: Isn't that 'umie un of 'ose wez got trash'd up by?
Gorgutz: Nah, that 'umie looks dumb, and 'ez talks funny too. Must be un of 'ose Chaos Boyz we'z stomped on.
Nob: What shall we do boss? Stomp on 'im?
Gorgutz: Move aside ya git. 'ez mine.

Gorgutz smashes up Boreale, leaving him with no teeth and a even more damaged brain. Boreale stumbles back into his thunderhawk, Gorgutz gleefully picking up his teeth.

"Brother Spessmius...Where are weh?"

==Brother-Captain Boreale's Bad Day==
[[Image:Baldeale.jpg|thumb|right|SPESSSSS]]
Boreale made doubly sure his armor was perfectly polished. He checked his sword scabbard and pistol holster. He fitted his Purity Seals on and ensured that his breastplate decorations were positioned correctly. He held his helmet under his arms. As he turned from his massive planning table, he checked his reflection in one of his other suits of Power Armour. Tall, large, inspiring. Perfectly presented, every inch an Imperial Space Marine.

His hair was still very short, but Boreale had begun to accept that. Even after two hundred years, his hair (or lack thereof) bothered him. But it wasn’t the worst thing. That would be his speech.

He had been fighting his speech for years. He was an inspirational speaker, able to turn his formidable speech-composition skills to demagoguery or fiery rhetoric. He always wrote and delivered his own speeches, and he strongly believed in the importance of words as an element of leadership. But he always struggled with the same thing:

Pronunciation. A more obdurate enemy than any he had ever faced.

He mouthed the words of his speech to himself, very softly, as he looked into his reflection on the chestplate of a Power Armour suit.

“Space Marines, today is the day…” the words came out very softly, but they were correct. Perhaps today WOULD be the day? Perhaps today he would get it right, and deliver the greatest speech of his entire illustrious career? He continued to practice:
“today is the day we serve the…Empr-…Empera…Emperor. Tode-today…” He took a deep breath and started again:

“Today is the day we serve the Emperor by putting our lives, minds and souls in the line of duty in His name, and in service to the Imperium….”

He was doing well so far. Perhaps today would be the day indeed.

Confident with his initial success, Boreale straightened himself out to his full height of about nine feet. It had been only days since the attack on their Stronghold by the Sisters of Battle, where he had personally defeated Cannoness Agna in single combat. The woman had charged in towards him, full of righteous fury, and screaming a challenge. Meeting her with his own blade and screaming his own battle cry (it unfortunately came out as FOR THE EMPRA, in the heat of battle), Boreale had overwhelmed her with superior speed and strength, and she had fallen on her sword rather than let him strike the killing blow.

Regrettable that it came to fighting the Empe...Emperor’s servants as such, but necessary. Necessary for the survival of the Imperium and mankind, necessary to please the Emperor and the Unknown Primarch. Necessary. No, essential!

Boreale gritted his jaw, and corrected his sword one last time. It was time.

He stepped out onto the podium where hundreds of Blood Ravens stood assembled silently and unmoving, waiting for his words. He felt confidence fill him the likes of which he had never felt. Today would indeed be the day.

Boreale drew a deep breath.

“BROTHERS!”

…

“TODEH WE SERVE THE EMPRA!”

Some things just never changed.

[[Image:BorealeTherapy.jpg|thumb|right]]

==Boreale in Therapy==
"Space marines. Suh-Pay-Seh Ma-Reens. Space Marines," Brother Tullus nodded, "Now, you try." 

"Sp-Sp-SPESS-" 
"No, no, ACE. AAAACE." 
"EHSSS" 
"Ace." 
"Ace." 
"Good. Now say 'Spay." 
"Spay." 
"Now say both of them." 
"Spay. Ace." 
"And all together now." 
"Sp-sp-spess." 

Brother Tullus delicately plucked the spectacles from the bridge of his nose while the other massaged his much aching head, "No, no, Emperor damn it..." 
"I have failed..." 
"No, no, no Boreale you-" Tullus leaned back in the chair, as it cried out in protest, trying in vain to think of something- 
"THE EMPRAH!" 
He fell back out of his chair in surprise at the sudden exclamation. 

Brother-Captain Indrick Boreale was but one of many held at the Mental Reclamation Convent of Saint Gimpus, and really, Tullus reflected as he righted his chair, one of the better behaved ones. 

For instance, one cell over... 

"MEHTAL BAWKSES!" Came muffled through the wall, shaking the diplomas bespangling it. 

==STEEL REHN==
[[image:SteelRehn.jpg|thumb|500px|**I look away from the mic to call more SPEHSS MAHREENS.]]
 Steel Rehn
 Some steh dry and others feel the pehn
 Steel Rehn
 Landing drop pods makehs infernahl din

 Steel Rehn**
 Our eterhnel fureh strikes the hearts of mehn
 Steel Rehn
 Deep strikeh is our vehry own bent

 Steel Rehn
 No matteh how hard our enemeh’s try
 Steel Rehn
 They all see our reputashen is no lie

 Steel Rehn
 Forecast to be fallen yesterdeh
 Steel Rehn
 Yet it will likeleh also fall todeh

 (<s>C</s>horus)
 Steel Rehn
 We fall to earth at enormouehs rates
 Steel Rehn
 The Empra’s foes cannot stop ourh haet
 [Repeat]

 Steel Rehn
 Our drop pods coveh the light of dehy
 Steel Rehn
 Our enemeh’s flee but there is no weyh

 Steel Rehn
 Fiereh blood rushing throuegh our vehns
 Steel Rehn
 Afteh we finish we prepare to fall back down agaihn

 Steel Rehn
 We are called dowehn by the radio
 Steel Rehn
 The purpose is to gain grouend controhl

 Steel Rehn
 We could not call it aneh otherh nayme
 Steel Rehn
 Everything else soundehd quite insayhn

 Steel Rehn
 We are preparing to fall onceh moreh now
 Steel Rehn
 The Empra will someday rewaredh us, somehow

Boreale stopped singing once he reached the end of what he had composed, and sat down silently, sitting his head in his hands. On [[Pen and paper|paper]], it was brilliant, a hymn that could be sung by billions of the Emperor’s servants across thousands of worlds in countless joyous anthems.

But what was the point if he couldn’t sing it properly himself?

==Boreale's life before service to the chapter==
[[File:Codex clogarteries.gif|right|thumb|200px|FHAST FHOD FOH THE EMPRAH!]]
SPESS MEHREENS! TODAY, THE CUSTOMERS ARE AT OUR DOORS! WE KNOW OUR BURGERS, AND WE WILL COOK THEM! WE FRY FOR OUR HONAH AS BLUD REVENS, AS SPESS MEHREENS, AND WE FRY IN THE NAME OF THE EMPRAH!

IF WE FEHL AN ORDAH, WE WILL MAKE IT AGAIN AND GIVE A DISCOUNT! BUT WE WILL NOT FEHL, NO, IT IS THE CUSTOMER WHO WILL TASTE OUR DELICIOUS [[Emprah Burgers|EMPRAH BURGAHS]].

AS YOU KNOW, MOST OF OUR BATTLE BURGERS ARE STORED IN SPESS, PREPARED TO DEEP FRY! OUR LARDERS HAVE BEEN PREPARED SHOULD THE CUSTOMERS BE SO BOLD AND FOOLISH TO COME BACK FOR SECONDS! WE HAVE PLACED MULTIPLE FRYCOOKS ALLOWING FOR MULTIPLE, SIMMULTANEUS DEVAHSTATING DEEP FRIES.

THE CODEX CLOGGEDARTERIES NEMES THIS MANUVAH HEART PAIN! WE WILL DESCEND UPON THE BURGAHS, AND OVERWHELM THEM, LEAVE NONE UNFRIED! MEANWHILE, OUR CASHIERS WILL ENSURE THE DEFENSE OF OUR HEADQUARTERS!

WE ARE THE SPESS MEHREENS! WE ARE THE EMPRAH'S FRYCOOKS!

==Boreale's previous service==
Captain Boreale did actually serve back then as a Marine veteran sergeant during the Tartarus Campaign along with Captain [[Gabriel Angelos]], back then his speech abilities were still heavily disabled due to a freakish power-fist incident with a 1st company veteran Terminator. His speech was mostly confined to screaming and a neural link with his troops. His task was to flank a horde of [[Ork]]s with a tactical squad and a Predator Annihilator tank however found himself with large contingent of Orks planning the same. His force was pushed back under a highway with them holding the line as best they could with the Predator tank the only thing keeping the orks back, then however the orks started to employ artillery systems.

He requested for reinforcements from the Litany of Fury however the nearest Thunderhawk gunship was 10-15 minutes away and the only thing they could send at the moment was Brother Valek, a Dreadnought. The orks then got lucky and destroyed the Predator tank and then they started to rush Boreale's squad. Just then about to ready themselves for the assault, Brother Valek plummeted from the skies and provided support fire at the best possible time. Gabriel Angelos then advised Boreale to hold the line with the Dreadnought but Boreale guesstimated that the Orks had a high chance of reaching them next turn despite the cover. To deny the Orks their Furious Charge, he had to do something bald and foolish: He stood up and yelled: AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!, in a comically guttural way, which was actually "We are the Spehss mehreens! We are the Emprah's Fureh!" when heard in the marines' neural links. The tactical squad of 10 was ordered rush the Ork horde outnumbering them 10-1 along with the Dreadnought. Not wanting to take 4 S4 attacks in the face per Ork, they did.

There was one surviving marine who commented: "We were on the way to being relieved and the dreadnought had been enough to keep the foul greenskins at bay this time, and yet we were doomed if we stated in one place. That's when our Sergeant ordered us to strike first at the enemy with overwhelming numbers! It was a bloodbath with Sergeant Boreale leading the assault, then however an Ork attached a Tankbusta bomb on Brother Valek's dreadnought and it exploded, killing most of the marines and the orks though a sizable force of Orks did still remain. While the deep strikes and Thunderhawks were already being deployed from the Litany of Fury, Sergeant Boreale took the Chapter Banner and made a run for his brothers, hoping to get close enough to inspire them. He was however shot down as he rushed up the fortified hill, leaving him unable to move further. In one last act of defiance, he planted the Chapter Banner on the top of the hill; while the company did admire the thought, it was an ultimately fruitless move for the Sergeant as his brothers couldn't get close." Sergeant Boreale suffered a deep wound when he was shot in the neck during his charge up the hill. While the chapter's Apothecaries were able to heal him they mentioned that even if the wound should heal, Sergeant Boreale would suffer from speech impairment for the rest of his life. He was absent from most of the Tartarus campaign due to the wounds he suffered.

For the live action movie of this even click: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFkFo5SBx-g here.]

==Boreale's Death==
The Lands of solitude were rocked by a titanic battle between Marine and Guardsman, it was a bloody gauntlet for both commanders.

''Shargent Harad, come in!''

Captain Boreale yelled on his vox, but alas to no avail: Sergeant Harad, who was guarding the outer perimeter defenses has fallen and even from the top of his citadel, Boreale could clearly see the column of Leman Russ and Baneblade tanks marching to his fortress. All of the Blood Ravens lined up for the final assault. The Crewmen of the Land Raiders and Predator tanks prayed to both the Emperor and the Machine Spirit for deliverance and protection, the Reclusiarch Chaplain gave a most wondrous and inspirational speech to the Marines with them foaming at the mouth with eagerness to kill the traitor guardsmen who dared desecrate their lands. Epistolary Saribander, Commander Boreale's second in command told the Captain:

''Everything is prepared my Lord'' and with that silently and slowly: Commander Boreale drew his Chainsword, loaded his Bolt Pistol and went out.

While numerically the Blood Ravens were defeated, they made up for it with great fervor and the fact they were the Space Marines, the finest weapons of the Emperor. The Marines lined up outside the fortress gates, from high ground they could see the legion of guardsmen and tanks headed their way but neither flinched, shook or broke a sweat, they knew this was their glorious end and they shall die honorably for the Immortal God-Emperor of man, their leader and father. Captain Boreale, the Epistolary and the Reclusiarch lined up in front of the men, ready for the fight of their lives....and their last one. Everyone was ready to charge just waiting for the Captain's word......closer and closer the Marines could feel the tanks' treads moving closer and in a split second Boreale ordered the charge with the battlecry:

''FOR TEH EMPRAH!'' And with that, a monumental bloodshed of biblical proportions started.

Bolter rounds and Lasbeams, the mighty cannons of the Baneblades targeted the holy Land raiders which the latter did the same. Screams were everywhere, the maddening battlecry of an Astartes riddled the guardsmen with fear but the [[Commissar]] solved that problem fairly easily. The battle eventually fell down to a bloody melee combat.

''BREAK THE ENEMY LI.....'', the Chaplain was cut short by a lascannon beam that tore right through his helmet, the marines while demoralized, kept fighting for they know their honor as a chapter was at stake.

As the battle waged on, the ground was already colored blood red from the blood of both factions, however as their forces dwindled, the guardsmen kept coming, wave after wave of humble servants, never faltering, never ending. Captain Boreale saw that they were outnumbered and fell back to higher ground.

The Marines reluctantly fell back with the guard hot on their trail, the last of the company Terminators made planetfall as Captain Boreale's honor guard. Captain Boreale ordered his Epistolary to take a squad and cover their flanks, taking 5 squads of battle-brothers, the Librarian obliged while Captain Boreale held the front. After 3 hours which seemed like an eternity however, Epistolary Saribander's forces were nearly eradicated. ''The Emperor protects us all!'' he yelled with a soft tone, charging a line of guardsmen with the last squad of Marines. One by one they fell until only the Epistolary remained, he kept charging, not minding that he is the only one left. Lasbeam after lasbeam tore through his sacred armor until he could no longer charge, he could no longer run or live, crashing to the ground on his knees with a war-torn look, he fell flat on his face, his lifeless corpse on the ground.

Things were not looking up for Captain Boreale either, his forces were cornered already making their last stand.

''We fight to the last man brothers!'' A sergeant yelled to his compatriots, before being wiped out by a baneblade.

''We have fehled........THE EMPRAH.''

Captain Boreale shouted before being thoroughly riddled by a Kasrkin's hellgun. And with that, the Captain Boreale's 5 companies met their glorious end, their bodies later recovered by the Chapter's Apothecaries after General Vance MOTHERFUCKING Stubbs stabilized the planet.

Unsurprisingly, his death has now been confirmed in ''Dawn of War II''. The Kaurava System campaign is remembered with shame and epic failure by the rest of the Blood Ravens with even Cyrus commenting on it being because of "the incompetence of Indrick Boreale." Sadly, DoW3 has since invalidated the above writefaggotry by confirming that he was in fact defeated by [[Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter]] and his Orks.

==Steal Rain==
It is of course possible that we at /tg/, along with the narrator of Soulstorm himself and all of Boreale's foes, have been deceived by the cunning of the good captain. His strategy was not "Steel Rehn," the common and predictable edict of the [[Codex Astartes]]. Rather, capitalizing on the mastery of the Blood Ravens at the acquisition of all that stood before them, he implemented his own devious tactics: "Steal Rain." Having built up his force with [[Bjorn|marines gifted by other chapters]] and by the unwilling forces of chaos, he had amassed a force that made the five companies officially under his command a mere distraction force to occupy the foe's attention as they assaulted the Lands of Solitude, while boreale's mastery of deepstriking left the best thieves and looters, as well as himself, well behind enemy lines, where resistance was token, the loot and relics rich. But this was merely the beginning.

[[Firaeveus Carron| Carron did not lose the favor of chaos.]] In the din of battle, as he raved about the [[METAL BOXES| Rhinos]] spearheading into his territory, his screams of fury obscured the roar of a landing [[Thunderhawk]]. Within moments, the marines had torn the shrines from the earth and robbed the chaos marines of their might, adding the power to the ever-growing armada under Boreale's command.

The defeat of the [[Necron|Necrons]] upon Kaurava had come as marines pried loose the power supplies, and rank upon rank of warriors and war machines fell silent. The marines wasted no time in hauling them into a mass of inert metal and carried them, with the inexplicable stealth and speed so common to the magpie squads of the Blood Ravens, to be reprogrammed in service to the chapter.

[[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs| The hundred Baneblades were not lost]]; rather, as the guard broke through the deep-striking marines in the supposed stronghold of the marine force, Boreale and a token force assaulted the enemy stronghold, felled what few guards stood over the depots, and signed the few requisition orders that would allow them to abscond with the guard's might. What had seemed to be Boreale, felled in battle, was in truth a brother-marine who had been "gifted" the guise of the captain.

Throughout the subsequent years of the Blood Ravens and the treachery of [[Azariah Kyras]], none even guessed at this plan, assuming that the failure of "Boreale" was all that it seemed. Only one man, [[Apollo Diomedes]], was cunning enough to piece together what had transpired, the final pieces falling into place as Kyras began the final steps to his ascension. It was not without reason that he feared the roar of each Baneblade he met, for he knew that they were the harbingers. Should subsector Aurelia have fallen, the hold of chaos would be momentary, wiped away by a more terrible foe whose hunger would not cease until every planet, every race, was unified, an undivided SPESS under Boreale's iron fist.

[[Katanas are Underpowered in d20|Now that seems a lot more representative of the strategic mastery of Indrick Boreale in Soulstorm, don't you think?]]

tl;dr = Boreale is actually a [[Creed|tactical genius]], see my new explanation.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNxR5YwFLT4 An animated depiction of Boreale's wet dreams.]

==...Or did he?==
[[Deathwatch|Watch Commander]] Boloshoi once again regarded the figure which knelt before him, clad in exquisitely crafted artificer armour made no less resplendent by the extreme pitting and scarring inflicted upon it. The wearer had taken pains to daub his power armour with the ashen mud of his last battlefield, obscuring the majority of the hazy red colour that still showed through in places. [[Blackshield|Special attention, however, had been given to the left pauldron: not only was it completely obscured by the Marine's attentions, but parts of the surface had been abraded entirely, utterly destroying the Chapter iconography.]] The Battle-Brother had spoken briefly of his Chapter, not by name, but simply as a lost cause, falling further and further into the darkness with every day that passed. He had tried -- in his capacity as a senior commanding officer -- to clear the taint from within, but to no avail. His due reward for his efforts was to be sent on crusade -- a crusade that rapidly turned sour as Chaos overtook the sector. In addition to all manner of traitors and Xenos, the Battle-Brother had been forced to lead his Astartes against the Emperor's own... a task for which he still grieved. His men had died upon that battlefield, sent to their ignoble fates by a heretic and a madman. That the Battle-Brother survived himself was nothing short of a miracle, and nothing less than a sure sign that he had not yet failed the Emperor. Watch-Commander Boloshoi supervised the repair and resurfacing of the Battle-Brother's artifact panoply himself, as the soot and soil were stripped away and the armour was resurfaced with the black-and-silver of the Ordo Xenos chamber militant. The suit's iconography -- now gone for good -- was now properly obscured by a singular blackness: the Battle-Brother belonged to the Deathwatch now.

"Rise, Brother Solitude," bid the Commander.

"None shahl findd meh wahnting, Commandah."

Alternatively, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2PNJzPpYo0 watch this video.]

==Videos Featuring Indrick Boreale==
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbRGg3e1b68 Spess, Spess BAAAALLLDDDD]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeCfod1XT7E dawn of awesome]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEzIVvOl5Qw The Kaurava campaign did not go well.....]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wo6aue5SPU Unsure heresy upon unsure heresies.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPmn_Fn41sI The reason Soulstorm was never given an official ending is because Captain Boreale actually destroyed it. The real reason he was called a blight on the chapter because his action was supported by the Codex Astartes.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJMLfACod48 His original speech]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT22qYtMskY Another version of Captain Boreale's speech]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr_9fjhnKCk WHAT ''TRULY'' OCCURRED ON KARAUVA.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1zMF53jmbE Say what you will, but Boreale is the only SPHESS MEHREEN crazy awesome enough to do this.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJebI99wqQw Boreale now voices Duke Baldem in his new game: Duke Baldem Fohevah.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2PNJzPpYo0 Dawn of Bald 2: Baldtribution]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY8TQeyNWpQ You have felhed.... As. A. SPESS MAHREEN.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6bxjAj2-54 Not even gaben is safe.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGiNE-FmrLM Indrick Boreale uses his voice to drive his enemies nuts and destroy Kaurava.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfORh9cFDU8 Unreeeal SpaceMarine, Boreale's newest single]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3Ad-qcQfOs Boreale was not the hero Kaurava wanted. But he's the hero Kaurava got.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNK5-uE5JFg The Bald Brothas: Boreale and Diomedes feat.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZfvIg_M5yE This is what happened when Boreale revealed his baldness for the first time.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bncGB024b2E Yet another version of Boreale's speech]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-y9H7pBpxY Boreale meditating.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcUAcAP5VDk Now stariing in his own musical!]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmTLtK-9F-k Boreale getting the music he deserves]

{{Template:Marines-Characters}}

[[Category:Meme]][[Category:FAIL]][[Category: Dawn of War]]

Kaurava System

2017-10-20T01:15:49Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1:

:''"After hundreds of years under the neglectful watch of the Imperial Guard, nearly every force in the galaxy would descend upon the planets of Kaurava, bent only on domination and victory."''
:-Narrator in ''[[Dawn of War]]: [[Dawn of War#Soulstorm|Soulstorm]]''.

[[File:KauravaSystem1.png|500px|right|thumb|The Kaurava System.]]
The '''Kaurava System''', also known as the '''Cow-of-a-System''', or the '''Car-of-a-System''' (according to some YouTube subtitles), was the star system in which the complete fuck-fest known as ''[[Dawn of War]]: [[Dawn of War#Soulstorm|Soulstorm]]'' took place.

==Kaurava Conflict==
Prior to the events in Soulstorm, the system had been relatively peaceful by normal standards, with only one planet infested with [[Ork|extremely warlike genetically-engineered fungi able to grow bigger and stronger the more they fight]] and another with [[Necron|sleeping ancient murdering robots that destroy the laws of physics with their tech and don't die even if they are nuked]]. However, this all changed upon the SUDDEN APPEARANCE OF A WARP STORM AT THE KAURAVA SYSTEM'S OUTER EDGE. In fact, the appearance was so sudden that over half the [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Forces]] had been wiped out by the forces of [[Chaos]] (who had somehow appeared at the exact same time), before [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]] could even say 'fuck'. By this point commander [[Indrick Boreale]] had decided to show up with bunch of his [[Blood Ravens|Blood Raven]] [[Space Marines|SPESS MEHREENS]] in [[METAL BOXES|METAL BAWKSES]] to help eradicate both the Ork and Chaos forces present in the system.

Unbeknownst to Boreale, the [[Tau]] empire also had a similar idea, and decided to set up shop directly above his head on a small moon orbiting Kaurava II. Their plan was to somehow contain the Warp Storm while expanding their territory's border right into Indrick Boreale's face. Around this time the [[Necron|crons]] on Kaurava III decided that now might be a good time to wake up and start their malicious genocidal campaign against anything unfortunate enough to [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs|still be alive]]. However, [[Caerys|Farseer Caerys]] had already foreseen this, and inevitably showed up with her fellow [[Eldar|space elves]] by travelling through some random [[Webway]] Gate that just happened to be conveniently lying around. MEANWHILE, a bunch of [[Dark Eldar|evil space elves]] had started arriving through some other random Webway Gate located on a moon above the totally-fucking-Chaos-infested-evil-planet known as Kaurava IV. Lastly, the <s>party crashers</s> [[Sisters of Battle]] turned up. Lead by Canoness [[Selena Agna]], they had come in a futile attempt to cleanse the system before shit got ''really'' [[Derp|fucked up]]. However, because they had taken so long to get their own shit together the system was already pretty fucked by the time they got there.

So what actually happened? Well, anyone who has actually played ''Dawn of War: Soulstorm'' will know that there are actually '''10''' different outcomes that can be achieved. First off, one can be defeated and no outcome is ever achieved apart from their own demise. However, if one persists and somehow manages to keep playing long enough with any of the nine races to achieve victory... then shits starts to actually get even more ''fucked''. For example, if the Orks somehow achieve victory, then the Kaurava System will be completely turned into a staging ground for the largest Ork [[WAAAGH]] you have ever seen in your fucking life. If the Eldar manage to attain victory, then they will show the Sisters of Battle how you really cleanse a system and then proceed to retreat back to Kaurava III in order to stop the Imperium from ever colonising that planet again. If their evil Dark Eldar counterparts succeed, then they will drink everybody's blood and subsequently leave (what else did you expect?). If the Blood Ravens achieve victory, then the system will be returned to the control of the Imperium, but the Lands of Solitude territory on Kaurava II will be renamed to "[[Derp|Borealum]]" (after Indrick Boreale), and a new [[Fortress-Monastery]] will be founded there in the name of the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emprah]]. Alternatively, if the Sisters of Battle somehow succeed, then they will carry out their fanatical cleansing and proceed to subsequently bathe everything beneath mountains of holy fire and molten plasma. However, if the maniacal forces of CHAOS succeed, then.. well.. you know what happens. If the Imperial Guard achieve victory, then the system is apparently re-built to it's former glory and becomes highly militarized and able to produce superior infantry second best only to those produced by [[Cadia]].

Ultimately, while the details are sparse, [[Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter|Gorgutz]] actually conquered the entire Kaurava Systerm, and was for a while content being the biggest, baddest (and ugliest) Ork in the sector. That is until he found some hidden lore from the Necrons about another [[Tomb World]] called Acheron that apparently brings immense war with it whenever it emerges from the warp. War lust prompted him to leave Kaurava in search of this Tomb World. Likely the entire Kaurava System is now stuck in an endless Ork civil war. The original canonical outcome was the victory of the Imperial Guard over all other factions, but Indrick Boreale was considered dead before the retcon that changed the winner of the Kaurava conflict to Gorgutz. Stubbs and Agna probably understood how stupid he was and let him throw himself and his kleptomaniac marines into the xeno blender.

[[Dawn of War II]] confirms that Indrick Boreale along with the five companies of Blood Ravens under his command were annihilate during the conflict (no surprises there).

==Trivia==
*In ''Dawn of War: Soulstorm'', the Warp Storm will disappear in every ending apart from the Chaos one.
*Although the planets appear close together in the campaign, they are actually not.

{{40k-Planets}}

[[Category:Dawn of War]]

Macha

2017-10-19T17:54:09Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1:

{{Promotions}}
[[Image:Machadow3.jpg|thumb|600px|Go bring up her virginity to her face, I dare you.]]
'''Macha''' is an [[Eldar]] Farseer from [[Dawn of War]] infamous for being a 4000+ year-old virgin. Like [[Taldeer]], she's another daughter of [[Eldrad]] (as far as [[/tg/]] canon is concerned). Usually depicted to be mostly reasonable, outside of relationship matters where she falls into a self pitying, whiny wreck concerning her virginity. Fa/tg/uys masturbate furiously to pictures of her naked (many of which can be seen below). She can be distinguished from other Eldar by her cheek lines and red hair.

Later developments brought about the theory that Macha is destined to be with the [[Emprah]], but due to Eldrad dickery these two will continue being a virgin and comatose corpse-god, respectively. There are also conflicting opinions on whether Macha is actually saving herself for the Emperor and choosing to be a virgin, or if she is simply extremely unlucky and is constantly frustrated as to why she fails to get laid when her body is the hottest piece of ass this grimdark universe has ever seen. For a while, she died, no thanks to [[C.S. Goto]], but she got better (she was only a little dead).

Macha has had anal sex, frequently in fact, but it has always been with a Callidus Assassin masquerading as someone or another. While initially traumatizing for her, Macha has accepted this fact and views the unnamed Callidus as her sort-of girlfriend. Whether this makes Macha bisexual or not (considering that the Callidus always takes male form when they interact) is up for debate. Rumors of her getting laid for real with a mon'keigh fuckbuddy of hers have yet to be confirmed or denied, as the people who try to bring it up keep getting a Singing Spear jammed into their eye sockets. Often drawn by [[Drawfag|Chink]] before he left /tg/ for [[/v/|Skullgirls]].

She'll be returning in [[Dawn of War III]]. Hilariously enough, her unmasked appearance is exactly the same as what /tg/ has always depicted her looking like, right down to the cheek lines and red hair. This has lead to some theories as to this design choice:

#The Designers are total fa/tg/uys and read this wiki and the boards
#The Designers want to appease 40k fans by throwing a little fanservice their way
#The character designer for Macha was a new guy who went looking for character references and didn't realize that all the drawings were just fanon interpretations

The meme about her being a perpetual virgin is rather ironic given that she shares a name with a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macha Celtic goddess] of, among other things, fertility (but it's not like virginity was not a custom in Celtic culture).

==Dawn of War ==
During the events of the original game, Macha leads a warhost of Biel-Tan Eldar on the planet [[Tartarus]]. Their mission was to safeguard an ancient artifact known as the "Maledictum", which contained a powerful greater daemon of Khorne that the Eldar had imprisoned millenia ago. When the Forces of Chaos arrived on Tartarus with the intention of obtaining the artifact, Macha lead her forces to ensure that they would not succeed. Though because of the Eldar's legendary arrogance and seeing themselves as the only ones capable of handling the situation, rather than explaining themselves to the imperials and maybe trying to ally with them, Macha led the warhost against the imperial forces and engaged in a bloody conflict with Captain Gabriel Angelos of the Blood Ravens that ultimately led to the Eldar's defeat and greatly weakening their forces.

Macha was then confronted by Angelos and his Librarian friend Isador near the dig site which held the key to the Maledictum, and pleaded with them to bury the key. However the Chaos Sorcerer Sindri appeared and quickly took the key before teleporting away. Macha then told Angelos that if he wanted more answers, then he should ask Inquistor Toth as she states that he knows more than he lets on. Before she left, she informed Angelos of where the Forces of Chaos were entrenched while also blaming him for weakening the Biel-Tan warhost (conveniently forgetting the conflict between the Eldar and the Blood Ravens was partly her fault if not more).

She and the Eldar forces appear again during the final mission where they allied with the Blood Ravens against the Alpha Legion and Sindri, who had ascended into a Daemon Prince. After Sindri got his ugly face smashed thanks to Angelos and his newly acquired daemon-hammer, both the Space Marines and Eldar got a hold of the Maledictum. Macha implored Gabriel to not destroy the stone, but rather than straight out saying that destroying it would release the daemon, she just vaguely said that he knows little of what he is doing before ordering her forces to open fire on the imperials. Gabriel proceeded to destroy the Maledictum, causing the Eldar to flee and Macha cursing him that his action has doomed them all.

After that, she hasn't been seen since. Until.....

==Dawn of War III==
Macha returns after more than a decade since the first game. She serves under the command of Lord Kyre who seeks to obtain the Spear of Khaine, located on Acheron, the wandering world. She is still tsundere for Gabriel as when she receives orders to kill him for mucking up with Kyre's plans, she refuses. In the end she teams up with Angelos [[wat|and Gorgutz]] to stop the chaotic threat.

==Stories Featuring Macha==
* [[Imber]]
* [[The Ever Virgin]]
* [[Macha's Vacation]]
* [[Chris Orksen]], Macha gets vanned for trying to pedo-sex human male children.
* [[Macha writes a fapfic]] - Macha accidentally frees the Star Child from the Warp.(NSFW)
* [[The Final Saga of Macha the Ever-Virgin: Extra Large Heresy]] - Sometimes miracles really do happen. (Even more NSFW)

==See Also==
* [[Caerys]], another farseer
* [[Gabriel Angelos]], an old crush of Macha's, although he was chem-gelded (which made bedding him out of the question). However, there are rumours that the reason he did not bed her was because he is gay[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRuXt2lIp3U]. Other rumors say that they ''did'' bed one another, but they had to call it off for fear of inquisitorial purging.
* [[Callidus]], Macha's stalker that keeps tricking her into thinking she's getting it on with a guy... EVERYDAY. And she falls for it... EVERY TIME.

==Links==

"W" Artel is now making a Mini: https://www.google.com/search?biw=1680&bih=931&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=Warseer+by+Artel&oq=Warseer+by+Artel&gs_l=psy-ab.3...21943.21943.0.22478.1.1.0.0.0.0.127.127.0j1.1.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0.sHqf0TJ3gPM#imgrc=_&spf=1505318399054

==Gallery==
{{Heresy}}
<gallery>
Image:Macha NSFW.jpg
Image:Macha_9.png
Image:Macha_5.jpg
Image:Elite_Beat_Eldar_Divas_by_IronShrineMaiden.jpg
Image:Macha_1.png
Image:Macha_2.jpg
Image:Macha_2.png
Image:Interruption by Chink.jpg
Image:Macha_6.jpg
Image:Macha_7.png
Image:Macha_8.png
Image:Macha_10.png
Image:MACHA_IS_MY_FAV_by_eccma417.jpg
Image:MACHA_MACHA_by_eccma417.jpg
Image:Meet_the_Focker_Eldrad_by_IronShrineMaiden.jpg
Image:A_curious_love.gif
Image:Pancawks1.png
Image:MachaBummedOut.png
Image:MachaDiary.jpg
Image:Machataldeerfight.jpg
Image:Macha aid.png
Image:Macha ass.jpg
Image:Macha_Scum.png
Image:1224319230025.png
Image:Macha_Hmm.jpg
Image:Macha_Baw_by_IronShrineMaiden.jpg
Image:1363033022950.jpg
Image:Macha_GRIMDARK.jpg
Image:Macha 1.jpg
Image:ItsMachaTime!.jpg|You better BELIEVE IT.
Image:Heretical Daydreams.jpg| Heresy is in the air!
Image:Macha_11.jpg|She's our favorite Sexy Loser
Image:1228597397940.jpg|Macha encounters the faptau
Image:Ishadamnitmacha.jpg|Macha while writing her fap-fic
Image:Sugar.png| Macha and Callidus Wife sharing a tender moment
Image:Machacalunf.jpg| This would be cute if Macha wasn't +4 STR
Image:MachaVisitsCWCVille.jpg| Macha meets [[Chris-Chan]].
Image:Macha and Gabe.jpg| The man who opened her wraithbone.
Image:Machaplus4.png| Plus Four Str Macha arriving home after a long days work
Image:1386533014791.jpg|Macha has learned to mix sex with violence in her more recent shlickfics. The results are undeniable.
Image:Mon Keigh Fucker.jpg|The irony fairy must be laughing its ass off right now, given some of Macha's more recent antics.
Image:MACHA_X_BIG_E.jpg|This pic has Macha, boobs, whiskey, porno, heresy, a natural twenty, xenos love, the Emperor, a fallen paladin of sorts, chainmail on the armor on the floor, and -4 STR. The Emperor himself knows not what to make of this.
Image:Macha lewd.jpg
Image:Macha cute.png
Image:Glorious HD Macha.jpg|Fucking zap
Image:Macha_doll.jpeg|Spending time with the Emperor
Image:Happymacha by sexual yeti-da1lfvd.jpg|Bewbs
Image:Warhammer_girls_by_hotgum-db17k0n.jpg|Hanging out with Miriael, Lelith and Celestine
Image:Gabriel and macha.PNG|They've hooked back up.
Image:Gabriel x Macha.jpg| Finally, after 13 years.
</gallery>

==Links==

"W" Artel is now making a Mini: https://www.google.com/search?biw=1680&bih=931&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=Warseer+by+Artel&oq=Warseer+by+Artel&gs_l=psy-ab.3...21943.21943.0.22478.1.1.0.0.0.0.127.127.0j1.1.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0.sHqf0TJ3gPM#imgrc=_&spf=1505318399054

{{Eldar-Characters}}

[[Category: Dawn of War]]

Needler

2017-10-19T14:12:19Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1:

[[File:NeedlerSniper.jpg|400px|right|thumb|A Needler. You have more chance in destroying a Dreadnought with a combat knife then you do learning how to operate this thing.]]
A Needler (No, not ''THAT'' [[Halo|Needler]]) is a silent and deadly ranged weapon that <s>uses both laser power and needles crafted from a form of crystallised neurotoxin</s> kills its targets through sheer affront to any science ever. Needlers have a long and bloody history, having been utilized by Mankind for millennia. These deadly weapons were favored by the assassins of the Terran Courts during the days before Unification. Needle weapons are notorious due to its two-staged firing mechanism, making only the most skilled snipers capable of even landing a hit. As of now, [[Lasgun#Long-Las|Long-Las Sniper Rifles]] and [[Stubber#Sniper Rifle|conventional Sniper Rifles]] has overtaken Needler weapons as preferred long-range weapons due to an ease in maintenance and ease of construction.

==Operation==
Needler weapons fire a laser bolt like the lasgun to propel the toxic sliver to penetrate any armor weakened by the laser. A millisecond after, it fires the needle. The laser bolt melts and cuts through armor, leaving the skin (or other vulnerable parts) exposed for the needle, which knocks out or kills the target with a virulent neurotoxin. A Needler is a silent weapon and the needle of neurotoxin is so fine that its target often does not even feel it penetrate his or her flesh.

The crystallized toxin dissolves immediately upon contact, is extremely fast-acting and takes effect almost immediately. The laser component of the Needler operates on an invisible wavelength of light and thus cannot give away the position of its user. A multitude of different toxins can be used with a Needler, though the most common are deadly neurotoxins, sedatives which only render the target unconscious and intoxicants which can stupefy the target or make him amenable to interrogation without rendering him fully unconscious. A Needler is a valuable weapon which needs specialized ammunition and maintenance which is even more so than the Sniper Rifle Lasgun and is therefore usually reserved for elite sniper units of the Imperial Guard or the shadowy Assassins of the Officio Assassinorum.

==Variants==
[[File:Needle_Pistol.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Needle Pistol]]

===Needle Pistol===

The Needle Pistol is the most commonly employed form of Needler. Small and elegantly crafted for concealment, they are sophisticated and elegant handguns whose operation is silent, invisible and deadly. The finest examples use a combination of a flash-less laser to pierce flesh, followed by an impellor-shot of virulent poisons delivered instantaneously into the open wound. This combination can lay low the roughest foe with ruthless efficiency.

It is a common weapon amongst the Imperial Assassins of the Officio Assassinorum, particularly for the [[Eversor]] Assassins.

===Belasco Galvian Needler===
[[File:Belasco_Galvian_Needler.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Belasco Galvian Needler]]

A known Needler variant of dubious provenance, the Belasco Galvian Needler was created by the Belasco Deathworks, the manufactora of the powerful House of Belasco on the Hive World of Malfi located in the Calixis Sector. This advanced and elegant Needle Pistol unlike other conventional Needlers is designed for close-range work.

The pistol also has the dubious distinction of being the weapon used for the infamous murder of Cardinal Tyndale and a dozen other deacons and priests of the Ecclesiarchy at the famed "sorrowful matins" massacre on Gallowglass, the deliberate infection of the lauded High Lady Alatia of House Krin with Mori immedicabalis, and numerous other high profile killings over the years.

This has lead to the House of Belasco being denounced from the Ministorum cathedral pulpit as "sinful deathmongers" on several occasions, a claim the Belasco family have not deigned to refute. For an additional 300 Thrones (the primary Imperial currency in use in the Calixis Sector and many others), a modified Galvian Needler can be bought that is fitted on a special hidden rig and worn on the user’s forearm, fired by means of a special palm trigger.

===Needle Sniper Rifle===
[[File:Needle_Sniper_Rifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Needle Sniper Rifle]]

This Needler is a rifle-sized weapon that has the highest accuracy of any Needler weapon. It is also the largest and most expensive of the Needler family. The Needle Sniper Rifle offers much greater range and armor-piercing qaulities then their smaller brethren (Although it is still poor and not recommended when other Sniper weapons is more suited for armor and tank-busting capabilities such as the [[Transuranic Arquebus]]).

It is used by [[Space Marine Scouts]] and [[Ratlings|Ratling Snipers]] of the [[Imperial Guard]]. For some reason, they are even used by [[Eldar Ranger|Eldar Rangers]], although it is of their own design.

{{40k-Imperial-Weapons}}

Needler

2017-10-19T14:07:09Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1:

[[File:NeedlerSniper.jpg|400px|right|thumb|A Needler. You have more chance in destroying a Dreadnought with a combat knife then you do learning how to operate this thing.]]
A Needler (No, not ''THAT'' [[Halo|Needler]]) is a silent and deadly ranged weapon that uses both laser power and needles crafted from a form of crystallised neurotoxin to kill its targets through sheer affront to any science. Needlers have a long and bloody history, having been utilized by Mankind for millennia. These deadly weapons were favored by the assassins of the Terran Courts during the days before Unification. Needle weapons are notorious due to its two-staged firing mechanism, making only the most skilled snipers capable of even landing a hit. As of now, [[Lasgun#Long-Las|Long-Las Sniper Rifles]] and [[Stubber#Sniper Rifle|conventional Sniper Rifles]] has overtaken Needler weapons as preferred long-range weapons due to an ease in maintenance and ease of construction.

==Operation==
Needler weapons fire a laser bolt like the lasgun to propel the toxic sliver to penetrate any armor weakened by the laser. A millisecond after, it fires the needle. The laser bolt melts and cuts through armor, leaving the skin (or other vulnerable parts) exposed for the needle, which knocks out or kills the target with a virulent neurotoxin. A Needler is a silent weapon and the needle of neurotoxin is so fine that its target often does not even feel it penetrate his or her flesh.

The crystallized toxin dissolves immediately upon contact, is extremely fast-acting and takes effect almost immediately. The laser component of the Needler operates on an invisible wavelength of light and thus cannot give away the position of its user. A multitude of different toxins can be used with a Needler, though the most common are deadly neurotoxins, sedatives which only render the target unconscious and intoxicants which can stupefy the target or make him amenable to interrogation without rendering him fully unconscious. A Needler is a valuable weapon which needs specialized ammunition and maintenance which is even more so than the Sniper Rifle Lasgun and is therefore usually reserved for elite sniper units of the Imperial Guard or the shadowy Assassins of the Officio Assassinorum.

==Variants==
[[File:Needle_Pistol.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Needle Pistol]]

===Needle Pistol===

The Needle Pistol is the most commonly employed form of Needler. Small and elegantly crafted for concealment, they are sophisticated and elegant handguns whose operation is silent, invisible and deadly. The finest examples use a combination of a flash-less laser to pierce flesh, followed by an impellor-shot of virulent poisons delivered instantaneously into the open wound. This combination can lay low the roughest foe with ruthless efficiency.

It is a common weapon amongst the Imperial Assassins of the Officio Assassinorum, particularly for the [[Eversor]] Assassins.

===Belasco Galvian Needler===
[[File:Belasco_Galvian_Needler.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Belasco Galvian Needler]]

A known Needler variant of dubious provenance, the Belasco Galvian Needler was created by the Belasco Deathworks, the manufactora of the powerful House of Belasco on the Hive World of Malfi located in the Calixis Sector. This advanced and elegant Needle Pistol unlike other conventional Needlers is designed for close-range work.

The pistol also has the dubious distinction of being the weapon used for the infamous murder of Cardinal Tyndale and a dozen other deacons and priests of the Ecclesiarchy at the famed "sorrowful matins" massacre on Gallowglass, the deliberate infection of the lauded High Lady Alatia of House Krin with Mori immedicabalis, and numerous other high profile killings over the years.

This has lead to the House of Belasco being denounced from the Ministorum cathedral pulpit as "sinful deathmongers" on several occasions, a claim the Belasco family have not deigned to refute. For an additional 300 Thrones (the primary Imperial currency in use in the Calixis Sector and many others), a modified Galvian Needler can be bought that is fitted on a special hidden rig and worn on the user’s forearm, fired by means of a special palm trigger.

===Needle Sniper Rifle===
[[File:Needle_Sniper_Rifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Needle Sniper Rifle]]

This Needler is a rifle-sized weapon that has the highest accuracy of any Needler weapon. It is also the largest and most expensive of the Needler family. The Needle Sniper Rifle offers much greater range and armor-piercing qaulities then their smaller brethren (Although it is still poor and not recommended when other Sniper weapons is more suited for armor and tank-busting capabilities such as the [[Transuranic Arquebus]]).

It is used by [[Space Marine Scouts]] and [[Ratlings|Ratling Snipers]] of the [[Imperial Guard]]. For some reason, they are even used by [[Eldar Ranger|Eldar Rangers]], although it is of their own design.

{{40k-Imperial-Weapons}}

Tau

2017-10-19T02:19:14Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1: /* Castes */

[[Image:TAUSYMBOL.gif|center]]
{{Infobox 40k Nations
|name= Tau Empire
|image=[[Image:Tau_Empire_Flag.jpg|300px|center]]
|bgcolor=
|fgcolor=
|Capital= T'au
|Official Languages=Tau Lexicon
|Power= Minor Power
|Size=Approximately 100 Planets
|Head of State=Ethereal Supreme
|Head of Government= Ethereal Council
|Governmental Structure=Caste-Based Authoritarian Federation
|State Religion/Ideology=[[Greater Good]]
|Demographic=[[Tau]], [[Kroot]], [[Vespid]], [[Gue'vesa|Humans]], [[Nicassar]], [[Tarellian]], Nagi, Hrenians and other minor [[Xenos]] races
|Military Force=[[Tau]] Fire Caste, Tau Air Caste, [[Kroot]] and [[Vespid]] Forces, The Deathsworn, Hrenian Light Infantry, Demiurg Forces, Nicassar Forces, Gue'vesa Forces and other minor Xenos armies
}}
[[File:9jfnqeaplhexx.jpg|right|thumb|450px|Get the fuck out of the way, [[Imperium|Oldfag]].]]

{{Topquote|Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.|[[C.S. Lewis]]}}
{{Topquote|Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?|Luke 6:41}}
{{Topquote|Ce qui constitue une République, c'est l'extermination totale de tout ce qui lui est opposé.|Louis Antoine de Saint-Just}}
{{Topquote|The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting|Sun Zhu}}

Tau (τ) is the 19th letter of the Greek alphabet, 300 in Greek numerals, and also the name for 2π.

However, this article is about the '''Tau''' (or "bluies", as the Valhallan 597th call them)(or "Space Communists" as anyone on /tg/ will tell you), (or "T'au" as GW copywright lawyers call them) a playable race in ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]'' made of weaboo mecha communists in SPEEHS. When first discovered by humanity, the Tau were a barbaric and primitive people. Their planet was then trapped in a warp storm for a few thousand years and they emerged from the other side as a unified species, led by the [[Druids|mysterious]] Ethereal caste and devoted to the concept of the "[[Greater Good]]". Their new empire currently has around 115 worlds, and was growing until recently, when the Imperium sent a large invading force to counter them. Although a dystopian society in its own right, the Tau Empire is noted for being one of the LEAST awful places in all the galaxy of 40k. It's also [[Derp|not really an empire]]; the Tau government, the Ethereal caste, is essentially an edifice of meritocracy and nepotism-Tau leaders are appointed to their position by even higher ranking leaders and/or a council of their future peers; the highest ranking Tau, the Aun'O, is selected by his future underlings, much like the Catholic pope, but is still simply considered the weightiest voice of a group (like a prime minister), not an Emperor with absolute power. While Tau civilization has the behavioral tendencies of many empires throughout history (expansionism, military conquest of weaker states, forcible integration of the conquered peoples, etc.), it is the government structure of a state that makes it an empire, not foreign policies. Essentially, they are ''imperialist,'' but not an ''empire.''

The Tau started as a classic case of successful design-based [[Troll|trolling]] on the part of [[Games Workshop]]. They were originally developed because GW felt that their setting needed an optimistic race and that their wallets needed more money, which they could get by selling shedloads of 40k to the robot-obsessed Japanese. The Tau, therefore, are the least [[grimdark]] faction in the game; [[Tau Diplomacy|they're the dudes willing to negotiate when they've beaten their enemies]], while all the others are either too [[Chaos Space Marines| murderously psychotic in ways incomprehensible to anyone who does not share the same batshit insanity]], [[Imperium|religiously overzealous]], [[Eldar|arrogantly indifferent]], [[Orks|simplemindedly violent]], [[Necron|murderously enigmatic]], [[Tyranid|more interested in eating you than anything]], or [[Dark Eldar|all of the above]] to offer such courtesies.

This began to change in the 6th edition. For all the claims that GW doesn't listen to its fans, someone seemed to have heard the incessant bitching many fa/tg/uys made over the Tau being shoehorned into the setting in the worst way possible. As a result, the Tau began to take on an Orwellian flavor, with the Ethereals being totalitarian autocrats performing acts of ruthless indifference towards their subjects in the guise of being for the Greater Good. Recent [[fluff]] (from ''[[Dawn of War]]'', supported by [[Deathwatch]] supplements describing Achillus Crusade) has them <s>arbitrarily sterilizing the rebelling humans on Kronus once they come under the rule of the Tau Empire</s> sterilizing a group of humans attempting to revolt and distract Tau forces in the middle of a planet-wide, 6-way free-for-all (to be fair though, had it been anyone else they were revolting against, including the Imperials, those humans would be dead, [[Grimdark|most likely the slow and painful way, or even suffer such a terrible fate as to wish for death]]). The Tau Codex leaves ambiguous the question of just how much of their success is due to various forms of indoctrination, caste-based conditioning, and subtle mind control. This has only been exacerbated by the recent Farsight Enclaves supplement, which makes the Ethereals come off as mustache-twirling, Saturday-morning-cartoon villains. It speaks volumes about the 40k setting that in spite of all this they're ''still'' the friendliest race in the galaxy.

=="Naive Weeaboo Space Communists"==
[[Image:Tau Weeaboo.png|thumb|right|Cue hotblooded music by [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r6xYnFDoV0 JAM Project].]]
The Tau's naiveté might seem at odds with the GRIMDARK-ness of the setting (and to a degree, a lot of it is), but the thing is, Games Workshop specifically plays this straight FOR the [[grimdark]] and ''knows'' that the seeming futility of the Tau's optimism only further accentuates the general hellishness of the rest of the galaxy - and dear [[Emperor|god]] do they play this up for maximum effect. In the 41st millennium, the Tau come across as ''more'' than a little naive to the other races; the Imperium sees any contact with aliens as heretical and will shoot them with [[bolter]] rounds as soon as they look at them; the [[Ork]]s just want to kick the shit out of things; and the [[Eldar]] see the Tau as young and powerful because of their technology but also as a race in its infancy, just staggering out of its borders for the first time and wandering into a pond full of [[Saharduin|sh]][[Dark Eldar|arks]].

Putting it simply, there's an ongoing joke that the Tau are some of the most successful trolling performed in the history of mankind just by ''existing''; a case of the company installing them just to mix things up whilst at the same time keeping them surprisingly on-level.

The combination of the above fluff, however, paired with their highly advanced technology, generally "Asian" feel (their Fire Caste's combat doctrine is often reminiscent of Sun Tzu's "''Art of War''" - but derived from two distinct Tau hunting methods), use of [[Mecha|battlesuits]] (just [[Imperial Knight|like]] [[Dreadnought|the]] [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|Imperium]]), [[Hammerhead Gunship|heavy firepower]] which rivals that of the Imperial Guard, and one of the [[Fish of Fury|most broken tactics in tabletop 40K until it was finally fixed an edition later]] has conspired to make them very much hated (and by that we mean a source of butthurt) by a reasonable-sized population of the [[/tg/|40K fan populace]], and /tg/ has rightly dubbed the Tau [[Weeaboo]] (as much due to their Asian-ness as anything else) as a result (even when people can use the same logic to point to the Imperium's xenophobia, the fanatical worship of the God-Emperor, extensive use of Mecha and suicide attacks, use of suicide attacks as punishment for dishonour, and fondness for over-the-top dialogue in general and conclude that the Imperium of Man is the space equivalent of Holy Imperial Japan). As a dark twist on this inherent Asian-ness, a thread concerning lack of grimdark fan fluff on Tau led to the creation of [[Sept V'iet]], the Viet Cong Tau.
[[Image:Tau fire warriors.jpg|490px|thumb|left|The [[Greater Good]]: translatable as [[Deal with it|"if you want to make an omelette, you gotta break some eggs."]]]]

And again in a case of much cultural confusion, the Tau are often considered [[Communism|communists]] (despite being a rigorous, hierarchical, near-eugenicist class society that would drive Marx into [[RAGE]]) due to their central philosophy of casting aside the self in favour of the Greater Good. If anything the Tau more resemble the class system of Plato's ''Republic'' crossed with the caste system of India and [[Star_Trek#The_Federation|Star Trek's Federation]] (because they're the only ones in the entire galaxy who bother to try diplomacy with xenos rather than [[Exterminatus|exterminate]] them). However, the portrayal of the Tau as the equivalent of the Federation might still be wrong, since the Tau, amongst their castes, adhere to a highly strict doctrine of eugenics; [[Love Can Bloom|any form of love, sex or breeding between different castes or species]] is the Tau equivalent of [[HERESY]]. As well, the Tau treat their [[Tau#Tau_Member_Races|non-Tau comrades]] as second-class citizens with no say in the Tau government, and demand them to abandon their old culture and conform to a Tau Empire, basically becoming like everyone else. Ergo, the Tau, despite not being the exterminate-all-other-species kind of racist, are still an ethnocentric, aristocratic empire hiding beneath the same type of veneer as the Federation, not unlike Britain during their 'tenure' as the rulers of India. To be fair though, if [[GW]] does decide to up the [[Grimdark#Grimderp|grimderp]] it would be more than safe to assume they would go the way of Stalin and start flaunting fancy propaganda posters everywhere—not that the Imperium doesn't already fill that part and the drawfaggots haven't already done great work in this field. What is for sure though is that, whatever part of the one-dimensional spectrum of political agenda they are on, the Tau government is mainly oligarchical, with the vast majority of political power concentrated in the Ethereal caste. This is further driven home by the fact there is a Tau splinter faction led by one of their two best generals alive, Commander [[Farsight]] of the Farsight Enclaves, whose government is a non-caste (presumedly socialist/capitalist hybrid), meritocratic semi-democracy. The problem is, until people stop dragging him out of his self-imposed exile to fight Tyranids, Orks, and other Tau, he's a dictator the way Optimus Prime is sometimes depicted. Farsight's government is one most certainly [[RAGE|NOT recognized by the Tau Empire]], who have finally gotten around to dispatching a fleet to silence them. <s>This, of course, is [[Advancing_the_Storyline|imminent plot stuff that will never happen]] because it's always the 41st millennium.</s> nope, GeeDubs ''finally'' decided to move the plot forward, thankfully. We still have yet to see the outcome of this fleet dispatch, though.

However, the new codex has HEAVILY downplayed their naiveté, bringing back the original codex mention that the Ethereals have officially declared some species "lost causes" and that the [[Greater Good]] demands they be killed to the last.
*[[Orks]] were the first of the big players of 40k to get this treatment. They pretty much were the only serious competition Tau had before they discovered the Imperium, and it only took them a few weeks of study to realize the fact that Orks are beyond reason or sanity.
*[[Tyranids]] unsurprisingly ended up on "shoot on sight" list pretty much after the first contact.
*[[Eldar]] briefly were on the list too, owning this to the first contact being made by the Commorites, and not just any, but [[Urien Rakarth]] himself. It took some nuked Exodite world and Craftworld intervention for tau to realize that not all space-elves are insane rapists and scratch them off the list.
*[[Space Marines]] seem to be entering the list as of the second Damocles war. The reason is not because it's impossible to reason with them, but because after some intense Water caste psychoanalysis and Nagi "mind-[[rape|riping]]" they pretty much declared that astartes aren't ''people'' but merely a ''weapon'' and as such have no place in Tau'Va.

To sum it up, the Tau Empire is still an expansionist empire prone to using military force, but far better than almost every other polity in the setting, as it permits others to exist with rather lenient standards, and isn't dedicated to the purposeful extinction of all other life in the galaxy.

==Military Doctrine==
[[Image:TauTyr2.jpg|right|500px|thumb|Close-quarters painting [[Drawfag|strikes again.]]]]
The Tau disdain [[Choppy|melee]] [[Rip and tear|combat]] in favour of [[Shooty|ranged combat]], which renders them instantaneously [[Matt Ward|less manly]] in the eyes of most of /tg/'s playerbase. The reasons behind this are complicated. Generally, Tau see hand to hand combat in warfare as an anachronism, which makes sense, considering their basic guns can rip apart tank side armour, and compared to almost all other major races Tau have less muscle strength and reaction speed, which makes them ineffective in melee even if they are trained. Even the last reason alone is enough to avoid close combat, seeing as [[Necrons]] use similar logic, despite their [[Necron Warrior|Warriors]] and [[Necron Immortal|Immortals]] being much stronger and tougher, and actually highly trained in close combat, but equally as slow. That said, Tau do practice martial arts, but only for ritual purposes - Fire Warrior trials and rites involve knives and swords, while Ethereals have a tradition of fighting non-lethal duels to settle disputes, using sharp bladed weapons no less, so they are often quite good with their fencing style, as [[Aun'Shi]] has shown to some unfortunate Orks.

Logistically, Tau military doctrine has been hit hard with the same [[grimdark|stupidity]] nerf bat as every other fieldable army, but is the only faction for which this violates their own fluff; every other faction has some reason for their material to be as limited as they would be in a fantasy setting, but the Tau have widespread education, unlike Men and Orks; reasonable access to production facilities relative to their population, unlike Necrons and Eldar; and are capable of coherent research and development, unlike Tyranids and Daemons. For fluff reasons which have never been explained (the crunch reason is obvious), they have the same motif as every other army of equipment often being more valuable than the person wielding it, leading to most personnel being fielded with inferior equipment. The most obvious example of this is that they always, under whatever circumstance, field infantry in simple combat armour rather than some sort of battlesuit - its only advantage is having less bulk, as the Tau have a reason not to build larger transports to cope with the shitloads of battlesuits they could deploy instead. This argument is analogous to saying that real-world militaries should only use armored vehicles and not have infantry. The Tau likely practice economy of force, which has consequences both on and off the battlefield. Sending excessive amounts of force at a target is wasteful, as the excess firepower would be more useful elsewhere. If one only has a XV8 Battlesuits and no infantry, but a swarm of grots in a nearby pass needs to be taken out, they have no choice but to commit a very valuable unit to a task far beneath its worth. This is also an economic matter, as lower power units are cheaper. One could easily field a number of fire warriors for far less than the cost of a single battlesuit, and considering many foes will fall beneath "mere" infantry, any cost-aware faction would prefer the infantry's use over an expensive battlesuit. In other words, they are the army who most resemble modern forces in terms of strategy, and mixed armies of infantry, armor and support elements are a good combination. And who the fuck can with a straight face call a pulse rifle and carapace grade armour "inferior equipment"?

The Tau's superior [[Dakka|firepower]] is similar to that of the [[Imperial Guard]], but their strategy is different in that they tend to rely less on mass warfare and more on sophisticated technical support (drones, stealth technology, railguns), with an emphasis on tactical precision, mobility, and the initiative of individual squads of units, much like how modern warfare is waged (apparently if the Imperial Guard learned from Tau tacticians and fought with modern tactics instead of zergrushing everything then they would have been the most powerful army in the galaxy, but no, that ain't GRIMDARK and AWESOME enough [unless you're [[Lord Solar Macharius|Macharius]]]). Their military doctrine is not based on winning by attrition and/or throwing out quality tactics in favour of absorbing and dishing out heavy shocks in bloody epic clusterfucks like the Imperials, Orks and early World War II-era Soviet Russia. (Unless you count the later war "deep warfare", which is actually the combat doctrine the Tau ripped off. 40k really seems to like the Russians...) Rather, they use infiltration and their sophisticated battlesuits to [[Anal Circumference|bypass enemy strong points and launch deep into their rear]], cutting supply lines and logistics, destroying headquarters and support units, leaving enemies cut off and functionally helpless. There are numerous examples of Tau literally starving and/or thirsting entire armies to death by cutting out their supply lines, while simultaneously harassing them with night raids, ambushes and air strikes to the point the survivors are leaderless, demoralized, out of ammo and fuel, and can barely stand due to exhaustion. The [[Imperial_Armour_Volume_Three:_The_Taros_Campaign#Volume_Three_-_The_Taros_Campaign|Taros]] campaign is a prime example of these tactics (and of the Imperium's strategic stupidity).

Of course, these kinds of tactics only work fine against more convenient armies like the Imperial Guard or Orks. When it comes to Space Marines and Eldar, who sport mostly aerial/warp/webway supply lines, operate as elite armies without obvious weak spots to exploit, have similar or superior tactical mobility and badass officers that can survive most assassination attempts, Tau lose huge parts of their usual advantages (but get the numerical superiority in return). Against utterly unconventional foes, like Tyranids, Daemons or Necrons... well, all times they faced such foes, Tau either devised some entirely new strategies, or lost horribly.
[[File:TauTyr.jpg|thumb|left|300px|90% of Tau [[dakka]] comes in the form of [[Plasma|pretty blue lights.]]]]
The Tau, again, boast some of the most powerful ranged weaponry on the tabletop game, and can crank out more concentrated firepower than any other faction with the lone exception of the Imperial Guard and maybe the orks if you only count number of bullets in the air, and even then, the Tau's weapons hit quite a bit harder. They have pathetic hand-to-hand combat skills, however, and so the Tau bolster this by using several inducted races (the [[Kroot]], Vespid, and even some [[Gue'vesa|humans cut off from the Imperium during the Damocles Crusade]]) to act as buffers against assault troops to allow Tau Fire Warrior teams and their heavy, long-ranged firepower to tear enemies apart. The most pivotal, and perhaps most infamous, part of the Tau army are their [[Battlesuit|Battlesuits]], which can mount multiple heavy weapon systems and provide excellent mobility to their pilots, all on a fairly durable unit. They also have an extremely powerful navy, though not quite as formidable as the Imperium's, if largely because of number differences. Tau air units are among the best in the game, with aircraft superior or equal to Imperial Guard equivalents, including a stealth fighter, multipurpose heavy fighter, a superheavy fighter with guns that can one-shot a Titan, and their own [[Manta|Titan-equivalent]] (which is a small starship). Unlike the Imperium, they usually deploy swarms upon swarms of flyers, with only Orks and Necrons able to rival them in numbers when things come to dogfights—kind of the way the Imperial fleets' atmospheric support craft were supposed to work if fleet officers weren't a bunch of assholes who do everything they can to provide as little air support as possible.

On defense, the Tau are a bit unusual: they leave only token garrisons at their colonies to protect them. These garrisons are intended for scouting rather than combat, avoiding engagement in order to observe and report on invaders using Pathfinders, scanning towers, and drones. Because the Tau have fairly powerful spacefleets and usually keep their forces within reasoned distance of potential hotspots, any potential threat can be quickly dealt with by organizing a hunter cadre to be sent to deal with the situation. For those of you who don't get it, it's Frederick the Great's "he who tries to protect everything protects nothing" strategy. Of course, this strategy means Tau must have some worlds actually being heavily defended - and in fact they do. Sept worlds tend to be guarded by some nasty space stations and garrisoned by an unreasonable amounts of hunter cadres and auxiliary troops, which allows them to act as major defensive nodes from which response fleets are dispatched and to which evacuation fleets rally (think feudal Japan style castles from which commanders would send trained garrisons out to protect the lands around it from encroaching armies), and in case some really scary shit like an Imperial crusade or a Tyranid hive-fleet comes into the sept, it is on the sept world where the decisive battle is fought (See the First Damocles Crusade for an example of this tactic in action). This has, however, backfired on occasion, since it does mean that the Tau garrisons are very vulnerable in the initial stages of an attack.

A rare advantage the Tau have is their willingness to change military strategy. As examples, look at how they changed tactics in reaction to the [[Damocles Crusade]] by the Imperium of Man, and even built an entirely new space fleet to match humans in straight-on space fights, or their unusual but effective choice of switching to older weapons when dealing with [[Hive Fleet Behemoth|Hive Fleet Gorgon]].

==Fleet==
In the old fluff, Tau used to have a reverse-engineered imperial warp drives, tuned to only skim the surface of the warp and bounce back to materium after a short while. New fluff on the other hand retconned that, by giving them what is called "slingshot drive" for their FTL, and from what little fluff we have on it, it looks like the actual warp drive (in the modern physics meaning, i.e. warped time-space bubble). The practical applications, however, are the same in both new and old fluff - Tau FTL is much slower than the Imperium's, but is predictable, reliable, and not affected by warp storms (a big deal, given Tau spent half of their history inside one). As a result, Tau are capable of building proper interstellar logistics lines, ones the Administratum can only dream of, but their strategic mobility is <s>lacking functionally superior to</s>...different compared to pretty much every other faction (save Tyranids and Necrons, who also use non-Warp related FTL). Additionally, Slingshot drives are rather big, heavy and power-hungry, even compared to the Warp drive (which takes up a 1/3rd of a smaller imperial ships). As a result, escort-class Tau spacecraft are built without FTL drives and are hooked to bigger ships for the purpose of interstellar travel, which basically make them equivalents of the Imperium's system monitor ships, with the same benefits (cheap, compact and too fast, powerful or durable for their size) without their major downside (being incapable of FTL flight). The Tau also have to concentrate their forces on an interplanetary scale; they can't throw a bunch of ships into a warzone from halfway across the galaxy as orks and humans can.
Tau empire have two fleets:
*Kor'Vatra, or "merchant fleet", is made of older modular ships that double as merchant and colony vessels (hence the name). One of their main shticks is huge arcs of fire for most gun batteries, with side batteries easily covering front arc, and nose batteries covering all but the stern - as a result, while Kor'vatra Ships may not have as much firepower as Imperial or Ork ones, they can focus more of it on one target. On the flip side, merchant ships while decently fast at sub-light, are not very agile, and must rely on escort wings and auxiliary fleets against more maneuverable foes. Even after the founding of Kor'Or'Vesh, Kor'Vatra still see a lot of military use, especially against the Imperium, precisely because it's regarded as non-military fleet, so Tau diplomats could tell their imperial colleagues "What battle cruisers on your orbit are you talking about? It's just our merchant vessels, moving goods to and from our trade missions".
*Kor'Or'Vesh, or "combat fleet" is a newer fleet, made for battling Imperium's fleet in straight up battle, after Kor'Vatra get run over during Damocles crusade. Made out of more compact, maneuverable and better armored ships, it may lack Kor'Vatra's wide arks of fire, but is superior in every other regard, and as Taros and second Damocles campaigns showed it is more then capable of fighting off humans even if outnumbered.
Both fleets use largely the same technologies - railguns as (by tau standard) short-ranged high damage gun batteries, ion cannons as long range beams (lance equivalent), and above all, their brokenly-powerful ordinance second only to Eldar ones (and available in far greater numbers) - Mantas, Barracudas and EMP drone-torpedoes reign supreme at extreme ranges, gaining Tau navy the same reputation their ground armies have. Because their ordinance is so powerful, most Tau ships tend towards carrier and torpedo boat archetype, and suffer horribly if enemy comes within macro-cannon or god-forbid boarding range (that is IF they manage to come that close).

==Non-combat Fluff==
[[File:Tau city.jpg|450px|thumb|right|Contrary to what [[Imperium of Man|some]] believe, what this picture shows might just be the future for the entire galaxy if the Tau [[Great Crusade|get their way.]]]]
The Tau were a new race/culture found by the Imperium of Man during their "slash and burn" exploration of their galactic neighborhood. The Tau were still pastoral, had just discovered flint tools and charcoal, and the Imperium had them scheduled for "[[Grimdark|routine cleansing]]" (which is Imperiumese for ruthless genocide) to make sure they never got off-world and developed into an entity capable of threatening humanity. Needless to say, that plan was promptly [[derp|fucked up]]. By an unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on your feelings towards a species' right to not be mercilessly exterminated for no reason whatsoever) coincidence which almost certainly involved the dickery of [[Tzeentch]] or [[Cegorach]] or [[The Deceiver|something]], a warp storm occluded the Tau homeworld, so nobody could get in or out. Since the Tau were virtually invisible in the warp, the warp storm didn't have much of an effect on them as they were immune to the influences of Chaos. [[FAIL|The sector was labeled "lost to Chaos,"]] and cleansing was [[What|deferred indefinitely]]. Then [[Age of Apostasy|this shit]] happened, and almost all records about Tau were lost in the ensuring [[Rape|clusterfuck]] of civil war. Only the Adeptus Mechanicus still had records of this first contact when the storm died down 6,000 years later. The Damocles Crusade relocated the Tau, who were completely untouched by the warp storm and now using interstellar colony ships and pulse rifles. The extermination order still stood—it was just going to be much more difficult than the Imperium expected, seeing as the Tau, instead of [[C.S. Goto|throwing spears and rocks at their tanks]] and Space Marines, were now throwing [[ion cannon|ion charges]], [[plasma|plasma blasts]], and [[railgun|electromagnetically-accelerated hypervelocity projectiles]] at their tanks and Space Marines.

Tau history is pretty typical up through the iron-age: a knack for engineering, warfare between "urban" farmers and "barbarian" nomads, and unrestrained growth causing a series of plagues, leading to a dark age. Here's where things go sideways, though the Tau see it as the start of their endless Golden Age: the arrival of the Ethereals. Legend tells of a five-year siege at the castle of Fio'taun, with both sides starving and succumbing to disease, when two foreign Tau entered the battlefield. One went to the castle, the other to the barbarian tribes. Each of these Tau had a quiet grace and irresistible authority. In just a few hours, the castle was persuaded to open their gates, and the barbarians laid down their weapons, and both parties met to parley a truce. These strange Tau called themselves "Ethereals," and stressed the importance of peace and understanding between all Tau. They described a "Greater Good" that each Tau must strive towards. Soon after, soon enough to seem simultaneous, more of these strange new Tau emerged across the continent with their message of peace and co-operation for all Tau. Their quiet authority was always respected, and their message of harmony was universally embraced. Wait a minute, [[God-Emperor of Mankind|I've seen this]] [[Great Crusade|historical pattern before]]....

Perhaps uniquely for the setting, Tau-human interactions bear the whiff of realpolitik. On the one hand, the Imperium wants to exterminate them ''eventually'', but the upper management generally realizes that the Tau are going to be a giant drain of resources and manpower to get rid of, given the stiff resistance they put up in [[Damocles Crusade|previous campaigns]] and their [[Riptide|uniformly]] [[railgun|advanced]] [[battlesuit|technology]]. Furthermore, they serve as a useful buffer state against various threats on the Eastern Fringe, from Orks and Chaos raiders to Tyranid hive fleets to alien forces the Imperium hasn't had (recorded) contact with. Their existence deflects danger from Imperial space, and in a place and time when the Imperium is [[Time of Ending|coming under attack from all sides]], that's more important than dogma.

This strategy is not unique to the Tau only though, as the Imperium allows countless other (much more dangerous) xeno empires to prosper in the Eastern Fringe to serve as an ablative shield against much nastier shit. Amongst those is (for example) the Charadon ork empire, which is older than the Imperium and spawns a Waaagh! or two per millennium (even with the routine warboss assasination raids that the Ultramarines make). Even after the emergence of the genius warboss Snagrod and his Waagh on Rynn no one cared to issue a crusade against them. So yeah, the Tau empire is not even close to being spotted by the High Lords, not to mention recognized as a threat dangerous enough to actually do something about.

Conversely, the Tau have realized just how massive an undertaking expanding through the entire universe would really be, and are taking it slow. They mostly absorb Imperial buffer worlds stripped of manpower and armament in the face of massive redeployments to face other threats, offering the Empire's protection in return for annexation and outright conquering the places that don't take the deal. The Tau have claimed that they are engaging in this sort of aggressive behavior because ''someone's'' going to [[Tyranids|gobble]] those settlements up sooner or later, and if ''they'' don't do it, then whoever does won't be [[Exterminatus|nearly as nice about it]]. While baldly self-serving, that logic is...well, mostly correct, really.

There's no lost love between the Imperium and the Tau, but open full-scale war is probably unlikely in the near-future.

And then the Second Damocles Crusade happened.... even the imperium isn't that stupid, so this almost certainly involves that tricky dick Tzeench trying to stop the greater good from ruining all his plans. ...Or nurgle...or, well any of the ruinous powers really.

Looking at the new galactic map, where the Tau are now sandwiched between their own eye of terror and a Necron dynasty, they are soon to be fucked.

=== Castes ===
[[File:Commander HawkEye.jpg|thumb|290px|left|<s>Join the Greater Good, lose your virginity to a hot alien babe!</s> The codex space communism does not support this action ]]

Tau society after the arrival of Ethereals was organized into castes; everyone with a place, and a place for everyone. Interbreeding between castes has been outlawed by the [[Ethereal]]s presumably to preserve the biological differences between castes, and as part of this effort they have taken over the practice of sex entirely. Tau society has been manipulated so that Tau do not form romantic bonds of a long-lasting nature and do not even consider sex to be anything other than a state-mandated act meant only, like everything else, to serve society and the Greater Good. In essence, Tau are conditioned to never have sex until and unless their superiors say they are worth breeding. Their superiors pick their breeding partners (the Tau get NO input into this) and the couple basically spends a few days off from work screwing around before going their separate ways to never see each other again. If a Tau did somehow get over their social conditioning and thought of sex as something more than a mandated duty, they'd be punished for illegal activities/perversion. An Imperial genetor's report in the fourth edition Tau codex observes the presence of synthetic proteins in Tau internal organs and suggests them as evidence that their evolution has been accelerated, though he might have been confused by synthetic proteins that the Tau were given. [[/tg/]] seems to be under the strong impression that they are mammals, as you can see in the picture further down the page, despite the complete implausibility of this theory.

==== {{anchor|Fire|Fire Caste}} Shas (Fire) ====
The '''Fire Caste''' consists of the various [[Fire Warrior|warriors]] of the Tau Empire. The miniatures of a Tau army in a [[Warhammer 40,000]] game are almost exclusively Fire Caste. Other castes think Shas are overly-aggressive hotheads due to their tendency to solve all problems by applying more plasma (when Tau encountered other sentient species, Fire Caste representatives immediately voted to hunt down and exterminate them, just like they hunted down dangerous local life forms on the other world they colonized), although from the perspective of humans or eldar, who know better how "[[Khorne Berserker|aggressive]] [[Blood Angels|hotheads]]" actually look like, fire warriors are seen more like a cold-blooded killers, even when they are enraged by the death of their Ethereal, which just shows how calm and disciplined other castes are. They are taller than Earth Caste Tau, and physically stronger than the Air and Water Castes, though still shorter and weaker than a typical Human. They pretty much compensate for this by giving their basic Fire Warrior a [[pulse rifle]], which is sort of like an automatic sniper-[[plasma]] gun, and employ heavily armed and sophisticated battlesuits for their elite infantry. Oh yeah, and [[Railgun]]s. Company -sized Tau forces are called "Hunter Cadres".

==== {{anchor|Earth|Earth Caste}} Fio (Earth) ====
The '''Earth Caste''' are the laborers and engineers; they are the "civilians" of Tau society. Their appearance can vary widely, though other Tau would describe them as "plain." They all have a stoic outlook, with little ambition other than to excel in their career of choice and work for the Greater Good. Unlike the Imperial worker classes, whose quality of life generally ''starts'' at working 14-hour days seven days a week while living off of dried, recycled dung chips and goes [[Such is life on Volg|''downhill from there'']], the Earth caste is mostly concerned with technological planning and engineering. They have robots to do the grunt work. The Farsight Enclaves field some Earth Caste pilots for their battlesuits, demonstrating their more flexible caste systems and/or their desperation for manpower. Doing so makes them ''even worse'' in close-combat than Tau already are, but they make up for it with technical training and tweaks to the suits' software and mechanics, re-rolling missed shots and equipment failures.

==== {{anchor|Air|Air Caste}} Kor (Air) ====
The '''Air Caste''' are the intermediaries between Tau. In more primitive times they served as messengers and couriers, and sometimes scouts/explorers, gliding on membranous anatomical surfaces through T'au's atmosphere. When the Tau started exploring offworld, it was the Air Caste that took charge of the vessels traveling between the stars. Now the Air Caste are the Tau stellar navy/airforce/mailmen, piloting the Empire's various carriers, warships, and emissary cruisers. Air caste Tau tend to be tall and slender like runners or dancers, and this is frequently exaggerated by the years the Tau navy spends in low-gravity. They are much less likely to be eaten by [[daemon]]s due to a faulty Geller Field than their Imperial equivalents, but only because their ships are much slower, using a "slingshot drive" to temporarily enter the Warp and bounce back into real space. Despite their slender stature and lack of muscle mass, Air caste pilots are extremely resistant to G-force, making them excellent void and atmospheric fighter pilots (simultaneously, as small Tau voidcraft also double as atmospheric craft).

==== {{anchor|Water|Water Caste}} Por (Water) ====
The '''Water Caste''' are the emissaries to non-Tau. They are diplomats, merchants, civil servants. The most open-minded Tau can be found among the Water caste, with some even showing individual ambition (but still for the greater good of the Tau Empire). When a new culture is encountered, the Water caste are sent in first to negotiate. If talks break down, the Water caste are withdrawn from the area and it's time for the Fire Caste to then start negotiating with pulse weapon fire. Also, unlike their Imperial equivalents in bureaucracy, the [[Administratum]], they are brisk, efficient, and very good at their jobs. No dumping valuable ammo on an uninhabited dust world because no one signed the paperwork not to. It's a less known fact that Pors also run the Tau intelligence and espionage network, and Por'Os and Por'Els from this branch are pretty much Tau Inquisitors except more competent, much saner, and not nearly as good at kicking asses personally. As of the second Damocles Crusade the Imperium has designated the Water caste as a primary threat above any other Tau caste, as their subterfuge, diplomacy and propaganda has cost the Imperium more worlds and manpower than the Fire and Air caste's military prowess combined, and they even managed to totally outplay the Inquisition on its own field, which royally pissed them off.

==== {{anchor|Ethereal|Ethereal Caste}} Aun (Ethereal) ====
The '''Ethereal Caste''' are basically the philosopher-kings described by Plato in "The Republic". They are selfless and always focused on what is best for the Greater Good ("Tau'va") for all Tau and every Tau without exception. The Ethereals are inspirational to all Tau caste members, and merely being near one will inspire a Tau soldier, engineer, pilot, or diplomat to work harder. In the case of the Fire Caste, some Ethereals accompany hunter cadres in battle during important deployments so as to better lead/inspire the troops, which works because all Tau in the combat zone will fight to their bitter deaths. They also seem to have semi-magical powers (don't ask how they work, none of the Tau know themselves) that allow Tau around them to do special things, like running while shooting. The [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] theorizes that the respect the Ethereal Caste gets from all other Tau is caused by a pheromone. ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTAU......

Also, ''[[Xenology]]'' relates a story from a major, insectoid race called the [[Q'Orl]] which alleges that the [[Eldar]] stole one of their queens. Given that these queens have a magic, yellow, diamond-shaped sack that produces mind-control pheromones…well, let's just say the characters in the story figure it out quickly enough. There is a theory that the Ethereals themselves are also affected by their own pheromones, which could explain why they're so selfless and uncorrupted despite their absolute power. This can also be supported by the (old as fuck and likely retconned) novelization of [[Warhammer_40,000:_Fire_Warrior|Fire Warrior]], where the Ethereal character has a pretty level head and chipper demeanor despite having been [[Anal_Circumference|repeatedly captured and tortured by both the Inquisition and Chaos, watching his diplomatic retinue chopped up by a Chaos Lord, and mind-raped by said Chaos Lord all in the span of roughly two days.]] Either he's a stoic old motherfucker, or he's just too busy tripping his blue balls on his own pheromones to give a shit.

===Tau Names===
Tau have ridiculously long, detailed and actually meaningful names. Their names contain their caste, rank, birth sept, and one or more nicknames earned by them through the course of their lives. Fluff does say that they ''do'' have birth names, but those are only used before tau earn at least one appropriate nickname, as a name given to them by comrades is considered more valuable than one just chosen by random at their birth. The nickname part and it's importance surprisingly is actually taken from the Roman culture, which is weird, given most Tau culture tend to be based on China and Japan (except for their social and government structures which are copied almost verbatim from Plato's Republic). Also, do note the lack of last names, which is expected, since Tau society pretty much have no institute of a family, with children being raised in a centralized facilities apart from their parents. As tau grow, move through ranks and achieve respect of his comrades his name changes appropriately, switching the rank part, adding new nicknames and sometimes dropping the old and outdated ones. For example, when Farsight was still a lowly fire warrior, his name was '''Shas'La Vior'La Shoh''' (Fire Caste Private of the Hot-Blooded sept Inner Light), and at the "present days" '''Shas'O Vior'La Shovah Kais Mont'yr''' (Fire Caste Commander of the Hot-Blooded sept Farsight Skillful Blooded). How the fuck Tau bureaucracy--{{BLAM}} Space commies don't have bureaucracy. is able to keep track of their population with their names constantly changing is a mystery, but it seems they have no problem with that (probably they just assign number to each).

For the sake of convenience Tau often use shortened versions of names, almost always dropping the sept part and secondary nicknames, and if speaking within one caste the caste part too, so in the case of Farsight other fire warriors could refer to him as O'Shovah, while for example an Ethereal would call him Shas'O'Shovah. Humans and other non-Tau often get this system wrong and shorten the names in a ways that make little sense: for example, Imperium's Taros invasion force thought the Taros' chief Ethereal's name was Aun'El, which was only his caste and rank, and as the book was mostly written from the Imperium's standpoint, we still don't know what was his actual name.

One final stroke of Tau naming, is that as they abandon their true (birth) names it makes them even more resistant to sorcery and daemonic powers that often require target's true name to amplify their effect or even make the spell work at all.

===Psychic/Chaos defense===
Tau are an entire race of psychic blunts, they cannot produce psykers and have limited innate resisance to some forms of psychic powers and daemonic bullshit. People often mistake this resistance to outright invulnerability, but in truth it's more akin to camouflage - Tau souls are so dim they are indistinguishable from the spirits of non-sapients at best, and at most times they even blend in the psychic background of inanimate objects. This may have something to do with how unemotional tau are, as some of the more passionate subjects in the fluff had been slightly affected by warp shenanigans like faint whispers and slight feelings of "wrongness" in places where humans creep out and try to run away immediately, while more calm and collected tau hadn't noticed anything strange. If for example a telepath tries to mind-rape a tau or a daemon tries to posses a tau he'd find it hard to find a soul to target, but if he manages to find it there would be even less resistance than with regular humans. Sadly while this trait is often shown in the fluff, it does not affect tau crunch in any way.

This innate defense is further strengthened by the Greater Good philosophy deeply indoctrinated into each Tau from childhood and (allegedly) reinforced by a subtle mind control. Tau'Va being the antithesis of all the creeds of Chaos makes tau all but immune to it's temptations, and only a single Tau has ever actually fallen to Chaos, the Water Caste member Water Spider who was possessed by a Daemon of Tzeentch. That being said, the Tau have only just been exposed to the more material horrors of the galaxy; should they become jaded and start losing faith in the Greater Good (as inferred with giving up on indoctrinating certain species), well, that would be an entirely different situation. Their allies, including the Kroot, have been known to go all-in with Chaos worship, although Tau seldom take culture from their allied races.

==Alliances==
{{MattWard}}
[[File:Illus4.jpg|280px|right|thumb|Unfortunately for some [[Slaanesh|deviants]] [[Extra Heresy|and heretical elements on]] [[/tg/]]. [[Not as Planned|This is what an actual canon Tau Female looks like.]] No boobs, no curves, no ass, no redeeming qualities other than having a face of your grandmother and the nose of a mutilated vag. Know the alien. Hate the alien. Purge the alien. The Emperor Protects!]]
In 6th edition, Tau are notable for being one of two factions (the other being Imperial Guard) who can ally with anyone except for 'Nids. Yes, this includes both Chaos Space Marines and Chaos Daemons, although, according to the Farsight Enclaves supplement, <s>Farsight is one of the few Tau (maybe the only one ''period'') who actually understands the existence of Chaos, so the average Tau would consider them to be just another kind of alien.</s> Farsight rebelled because the Ethereals understand the existence of Chaos on some level, but keep it suppressed from the general populace so they're not entirely screwed. It still isn't going to end well though.

This leads to a few...''interesting'' alliances, to say the least.

First off, Tau ''can'' ally with [[Ork]]s, even though fluff-wise they are viewed as enemies of the Greater Good to be purged wherever encountered. Smaller Ork warbands (mostly [[Blood Axes]]) frequently act as mercenaries, of course, so the Tau might use them in that capacity. Plus, there might be fluff changes coming up (most notably, it was rumored that the [[Gretchin Revolutionary Committee]] would return in the new Orks codex; they, of course, would get along quite well with the Tau).

They are also battle brothers with both the Space Marines and Eldar, which has caused a large amount of headscratching on /tg/. The Eldar make a modicum of sense; after all, the Eldar most likely had a hand in their synthetic evolution and the creation of the Ethereals, and the Eldar are well known for being expert manipulators. A Tau-Space Marine alliance, though, would be odd, to say the least, since Tau and Space Marines are always going at it in the [[fluff]]. Of course, a minor [[Space Marine Chapter|chapter]] could always find an alliance with the Tau, or even join the Greater Good, but that seems far-fetched at best. Old fluff from back in the 3rd edition codex tells a story of a Tau commander letting an Apothecary remove the aul glands from dead Marines, establishing that the Tau are honourable warriors in the minds of this particular chapter. Isn't too hard to guess that someone at GW felt the battle brothers thing was a bit of a head-desk move, so they tried to fix it.

The weirdest part, though, is that Tau ''aren't'' Battle Brothers with the Imperial Guard, despite (or maybe because of) the existence of [[Gue'vesa]] (Imperial Guard defectors).

7th edition corrected all of this for the Tau, making them only battle brothers with themselves and certain allies of convenience, like Necrons and the Eldar, while the rest are desperate allies or, in the case of daemons and 'Nids, allies of the apocalypse. This effectively "fixes" the issue from the point of view of a butthurt puritan while still allowing for those who bought Tau models to include them as allies in their games.

8th edition totally destroyed any chance of Tau having allies in matched play games. Taudar is dead, thank fuck.

==Tau Member Races==
[[File:Dynamic entry by majesticchicken.jpg|right|thumb|550px|Look up fuckers! You're invited to the latest imperial party and we're not taking "no" for an answer!]]
The Tau are the only faction that willingly accept other races into their ranks. Typically, the races are extended a hand from the Water Caste first, and if they still pose a problem or otherwise refuse to be reasoned with, the Fire Warriors are sent in. It should be noted that tau usually are not in haste of annexing the world, and if the aliens don't want to join right now but aren't immediately hostile and open to trade, Water Caste would slowly but surely convert them into a Greater Good to the point that one day they themselves would ask to join the Empire. The species, when annexed or conquered, are usually allowed to keep their planet, but must answer to the authority of the local Ethereal and possibly the local Shas'o. Most of them are fluff and don't show up on the tabletop, but it would get a little ridiculous if you could purport to play a 'single' 40k race that included, like, twelve different races.

* Demiurg - [[Squats]] reborn. They are a race of space-faring miners specializing in ionic weaponry who serve the Tau with their engineering and mining abilities. They also serve as an example of something the Imperium will never do: save dead codex races (Well, okay, they're sort of saved...). They make an appearance in Battlefleet Gothic: Armada though, so that's nice.
* Galgs - Frog/Toad People who are regularly hired as mercenaries. No other information available. Probably [[Lizardmen#Slann|Slann]] In Space.
* [[Gue'vesa]] - Humans who have not only defected to the Tau, but chosen to take up arms and fight alongside them to serve the Greater Good. Rules for them are found in [[Forge World|Forge World's]] Imperial Armour Volume 3. <s>(If the current trend goes on we may see Sisters join up with the Tau, which might be an improvement for the Sisters.)</s>{{BLAM}}{{BLAM|HERESY!}}
* Hrenian - Alien mercenaries employed for their skills as light infantry. No other information available. Probably [[Lizardmen#Skinks|Skinks]] In Space.
* Ji'atrix - A spacefaring race. No other information available. (Dammit, GW [[Writefag|writefags]].)
* [[Kroot]] - Predatory gene-assimilating avian humanoids. They are the first alien race to be actively recruited by the Tau as mercenaries, and are so regularly hired that they have officially progressed to being considered Auxiliaries of the Tau forces.
* [[Vespid|Mal'kor]] - Insectoid aliens, also known as Vespids, who are native to a gas giant planet within the Tau Empire. Serve as Auxiliaries.
* Morralian - Also known as "Deathsworn". No other information available.
* [[Nicassar]] - A voidfaring race of [[psyker]]s and the only psychically-gifted species in the Tau Empire. The Tau have carefully hidden them away from the Imperium due to their (actually justifiable) psyker-phobia. Were the second alien species to join the Greater Good.
* Ranghon - No information available.
* [[Tarellian]] - These guys are basically [[Lizardmen#Saurus|Saurus]] IIIIN SPAAAAACE!!!!!! Not really part of the Empire, but rather mercenaries who will gladly fight humans and Tyranids on the cheap since the Imperium virus-bombed their home world and the Tyranids nommed their biggest colony.
* Poctroon - The first sapient species to be found by the Tau, [[wikipedia:Siege of Fort Pitt|they were "accidentally" driven extinct by Tau smallpox]], and their planet just by coincidence was a great place to set a Sept World.
* Nagi - Brain worms that, due to their horrific appearance and inability to communicate, were attacked by the Fire Caste. They managed to sort it out, though, and now they work with the Ethereals as advisors (because having brain worms about as "advisors" isn't a bad idea or anything). They had shown in a few books so far, and were involved in a "mind-rip" (guess outright calling it "rape" was too much) of a space marine POW while being so self-righteous and smug about their mental superiority they could give Eldar a run for their money. Apparently they can also at least perceive the Warp (which they call "extra-dimensional space"), and probably manipulate it as well, and know enough about it to outright refuse to go anywhere near demonically-tainted Agrellan when Tau invaded it.
* Ji'atrices, Morralians, or Ranghons are probably other Warhammer Fantasy Races In Space, such as [[Lizardmen#Kroxigor|Kroxigors]] or Trolls, given the overall tendency of the Tau to incorporate Fantasy races missing from 40k.

The usually genocidal actions of the other races, most notably the [[Imperium]], also serve as a motivating factor for less-powerful races to join the Tau. While the Tau do seem a minor threat to the Imperium now, if the current policy continues, there will be more and more races joining up with the them if for no other reason than avoiding [[Exterminatus|extermination]]. Of course, the Tau are just coming to realize how vast and powerful the Imperium really is, and while a lot of their member races really ''are'' the victims of crazy, evil, fascist extermination protocols, there's always the chance that someone responsible for a "Hell World" or "Nightmare World" might join up, and the damage might be done before they realize their mistake...

==In a Nutshell==
;'''The Stated Reason Why People Hate Tau'''
Weeaboo space confuciunists (Asian Commies)—not grimdark enough.
;'''The ''Real'' Reason Why People Hate Tau'''
Until the edition update, this would, most assuredly, be [[Fish of Fury]]. Fuck, even most Tau players felt this was bullshit. Post-edition update, it was that certain [[Matt Ward|undesirables]] felt that they were trying to take the mantle of the 40K universe's "rightful" Imperial protagonists. And because they are not [[Choppa|choppy]] enough. And then 6th Edition codex came, and Tau became one of the shootiest armies in the shootiest edition ever, not to mention their ability to bitchslap cheesmongers, having straight counters against any of the Wardex bullshit. When the 7th edition came out they became overpowered AF and they took the title as the chedder cheese of Warhammer.
;'''A Real Reason Why People Like Tau'''
The one race that isn't being a wall of dicks. If the Tau are trolling done by Games Workshop, then the target of said trolling was any fatbeard that needs a constant supply of grimdark to stay alive. Of course, the mind-influencing pheromones they use to conquer new worlds and their psycho-indoctrination mass re-education facilities will just have to be ignored if you don't want destroy your wishful thinking for a half-way decent faction to exist in 40k. But people have always been good at ignoring shit.
;'''Another Real Reason Why People Like Tau'''
Unlike many other Races in 40k the Tau are capable of fitting into many other Sci-fi Universes without much Problems. Such as Star trek where they would be at home along side other Peaceful yet also Tyrannical Factions like the Federation. Compared to the Necrons or Eldar which would be both Roflstomps and completely different from all other groups in that Universe. (Unless it [[Doctor Who|Doctor Who]]).
;'''The Real Reason Why People Play Tau'''
Arguably have the most powerful guns in the game. Often twin-linked. Often on cool-looking robot battlesuits. [[meme|Also markerlights]]. Also [[Riptide|RAPETIDE]]. Tau players may also have a tendency towards sadism.
;'''A Solid Reason People Don't Play Tau'''
They're fucking expensive. Seriously. On a points-per-pound level, they cost more than any other (plastic) army. This is doubly true if you like battlesuits, but of course you do because you're playing Tau.
;'''Helping Necrons? Or are they Necrontyr descendants?'''
An often overlooked issue is that Tau have almost no warp signatures, just like Necrons, hate Warpspawns and Warp in general (despite the fact that in 6E they can work with them...I just...I don't...WAAAARD!!!), just like Necrons, have the exact same skull shape, stature and short lives, and the overwhelming need for Technology and beam weapons, JUST LIKE NECRONS. [[GW]] may have planned a race that simply prepares a pacified, multiracial galaxy for Necrons to feast upon, supported by Ethereals that have a C'tan phase blade. Then there is a reference of "dark seed in east" by the Deceiver, so the tricky C'tan might give Tzeentch the finger in the [[JUST AS PLANNED]] competition. Or maybe GW just has so little creativity that they simply made a new civ conforming to an Old One's standards without knowing it. Given that recent murmurs have suggested that something absolutely massive is in the works at GW, ''anything'' could be possible, though past experience has led us to believe that it will simply be a Tau wearing a silly [[hat]]. However, seeing as GW is as likely to advance the plot that far as I am to shove both my legs up my ass up to the knee, it doesn't much matter.

==TL;DR==
<s>The good guys</S>
High-tech alien race who are the ''least'' [[grimdark]] of factions. Can't melee for shit but can blow you back to the stone age with ranged weaponry if you have the misfortune of being downrange. You will either love them or hate them because of all this, and many neckbeards do feel the [[butthurt]]. Or, as the saying goes: "You can't spell TAUNT without TAU."

== Warhammer Fantasy ==
Unlike most other factions in 40k, Tau have no clear antecedent from [[Warhammer Fantasy]]. Some think the anime influences and rapid industrialization/militarization point towards Nippon; others feel the caste system might be related to the Kingdom of Ind. However, neither faction has ever been explored in great detail (or any detail at all), so it's impossible to say whether Tau are similar to those factions; instead, we must compare to the real-world equivalents of the Old World nations. Slightly more controversially, there are elements of Cathay (which is the Anglicized word for China back in the British Empire heyday, so yes) in the Tau. Cathay has been described as being technologically advanced (at least on par with the Empire), including terra-cotta automaton warriors (which the Chinese definitely used to make to pay homage to the First Chinese Emperor's over inflated ego, more than a millennia ago), although such comparison is stated by some to have [[Skub|already been implemented in the characterization of the Eldar and thus, is considered as ''seriously'' stretching up a notch.]]

More recently, some have connected the Tau and their subject races to other factions in Fantasy. The rapid evolution of the Kroot and their overall savagery is (somewhat) similar to the Gors of the Beastmen (although the Beastmen are in the 40k universe themselves). The Empire also shares the xenos-friendly viewpoint of the Tau, although they're not expansionistic, and decidedly less concerned with a unified government structure so long as everyone pays their taxes, for better or for worse. Others compare them to dwarves: dwarves don't use Chaos magic, are short, technologically advanced, kinda casty and blue (understood in many countries as "hopelessly drunk") basicly all the time. Tau don't use Chaos warp magic, are short, technologically advanced, very casty and blue all the time (in regards to skin colour). Both also get seriously grudgy and angry when you piss them off.

==Trivia==
[[File:Tau Ripoff.jpeg|thumb|right|300px|FOR THE [[Blood Ravens|GREATER THEFT]]!]]
* Some have said that Tau resemble the protagonist KYNE from the Amiga video game Brataccas, which was released in 1986. Tau were first added to Warhammer 40k in late 2001. Some would dismiss this as coincidence, but Games Workshop has a long history of ripping off designs from other games; [[Beastmen]] are [[Broo]] from [[Glorantha]], very large chunks of 40k are a little too similar to [[Judge Dredd]], and all of the Greater Daemon model designs are stolen from early [[Dungeons & Dragons]]. These properties are understandable as Games Workshop was still selling games of those IPs when Warhammer was first created, but Brataccas is an obscure game from a forgotten system that was quite forgettable even at release, even if Amiga games tended to get fantastic cover art. This being said another of GW's early products was also puzzles of of this style of '70's/'80's Sci-Fi art. The T'au cast system does resemble the Protoss caste from [[starcraft]], which presates the release of the Tau by 3 years... You have the Templar (Fire/Air Castes) Judicators (Ethereals + Water Castes) and Khalai (Earth Caste). In addition to a rogue sub-caste in the Dark Templar (Farsight Enclaves).
* Tau are technically canon to the Marvel Comics universe, as the series Venom: Space Knight repeatedly used Tau vehicles for aliens in the scenery. In fact, they have the balls to even keep the Tau Sept symbol! Also, you can see what appears to be a Eldar tank, as well as a Necron. The irony of the ripoff masters Games Workshop getting ripped off is juicy, even moreso when its realized that lawsuit-happy Games Workshop (who literally tried to copyright "pauldrons" while they plagiarized Eldar from Tolkien and had some contention between [[Malekith|two very similar Dark Elf characters of theirs]]) couldn't do shit about it because Marvel is owned by Disney, and nobody beats The Mouse™.

==Notable Tau==
===[[Canon]]===
*[[Aun'Shi]]
*[[El'Myamoto (Sub-commander Darkstrider)]]
*[[Shadowsun|O'Shaserra (Commander Shadowsun)]]
*[[Farsight|O'Shovah (Commander Farsight) and The Eight]]
*[[Commander Puretide]]
*[[Shas'o Kais]]
*[[Commander Or'es'Ka|Shas'o Or'es'Ka]]

===[[/tg/ 40,000]]===
*[[Blue]]
*[[Faptau]]
*[[O'ren I'shi'ii]]
*[[Shlicktau]]
*[[Xeno]]

==See Also==
[[File:Marvel Tau.jpg|thumb|right|250px|FOR THE GREATER GROOT!]]
* [[Nicassar]]
* [[Sept V'iet]]
* [[Tau Quest]]
* [[Warhammer 40,000: Fire Warrior]]
* [[Tau Dark Heresy]]
* [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Tau(8E)|Tactics/Tau]]
* [[Tau Cadre Creation Tables]]
* [[Codex_-_Tau_Auxiliary]]
* [[Tau Diplomacy]]
* [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|<strike>Love Can Bloom 3:Golden Shadowsun</strike> NON-CANON FANFICTION GARBAGE]]

==External Link==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrHhS5IkRR0 A Typical Tau-Human conversation.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbuPaCgdO50 Should one of your Tau actually kill anything tougher than a guardsman in melee, you are allowed to end the game in victory as long as you play this clip.]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Tau1.jpg|Stealth suits are :3
Image:Firewarrior.gif|Fire Warriors are :3 too
Image:Tau Chibi Fire Warrior.jpg|Chibi, but not weeby.
File:TauGuela.jpg|Gue'la.
Image:TauOrigin.jpg|Ohhh GW.
Image:Tau.gif|In 40k, everyones' guns are huge.
Image:Tau Fire Warrior.jpg|A Tau Fire Warrior, the basic infantry unit.
Image:Tau Firepower Demotivator.jpg|The sad truth of 6th edition.
Image:combine.jpg|In /tg/, tau are the bad guys.
Image:Itsyourempiretoo.png|Propaganda. [[Nazi|Sound]] [[Communism|familiar?]]
Image:Never shall the tau!.JPG|Surrender... never shall the Tau.
Image:Tauassault.jpg|Tau are vicious melee fighters, no less able than [[Space Marines]]!
Image:1234622525817.jpg|In hindsight, attempting negotiations with Orks was probably a bad idea.
Image:Tau Problem, Astartes.jpg|What's that? We're not grimdark enough for you, Neckbeard?
Image:Tau Sympathizer.jpg|The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer's entry on Tau players.
Image:Discotau.jpg|In spite of being filthy heretical xeno scum, the Tau can really break it down.
Image:Manta.jpg|Fun fact: if you have enough money to buy this, you have too much money.
Image:Tau cosplay2.jpg|Typical Tau player, engaging in typical Tau behavior. (Pretty badass cosplay, even got the hoof right)
Image:Tau Battlesuit vs Smurf.jpg|This Char Custom Battlesuit-clad Tau demonstrates his mastery of [[Weeaboo Fightan Magic]]. Also DYNAMIC ENTRY!
Image:E6abddad6c5999a1dbe6085d8614f051.jpg|Tau in close quarters combat barring some very lucky dice rolls.
</gallery></center>
{{Promotions}}
<center><gallery>
Image:TauKroot.jpg
Image:MARKERLIGHTS.png|MARKERLIGHTS!
Image:tau_firecleavage.jpg|Sweet [[Weeaboo|weeaboo]] [[Heresy|heresy]].
Image:Commissar Shadowsuns Goods by morganagod.jpg|DAT ASS.
Image:DAT_SHAS.jpg| A Fire Warrior appreciating DAT ASS.
Image:Tau ass.gif|A Greater Good we can all believe in.
Image:NOT FUCKING CANON.png| [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|THIS IS NOT FUCKING CANON!]]
Image:JoinTau.jpg|Some recruitment methodologies work better than others.
Image:Tau Chick.jpg|Few rarely seen Tau chicks. Maybe because Sisters are hotter.
Image:youtastefunny.jpg|Yeah, we all know the truth about their "greater good".
Image:Subcommander torchstar by sexual yeti-d9qal0l.png|Subcommander Torchstar, Farsight's personal fangirl.
Image:Tau_caste_nudes.jpg|Earth, Fire, Water, Air...Ethereal?!? SWEET MOTHER OF KHORNE!!! MY EYES!!!
Image:Laughing tau whores.jpg|S-shut up you filthy sluts! Among my people it is considered quite a handsome dick!
Image:Power Shopping.jpg|It's a well-known fact that the Tau Empire has some of the best shopping in the entire galaxy.
Image:Taugirlpile.jpg|Here we see Tau propaganda meant to entice men with their terrible, blasphemous, and supple soft skin, smooth curves, perky brea...er...ah...heretical alien bodies.
Image:TauHuman.jpg|Indeed, many humans have already embraced the Greater Good. (The individual with the primitive flashlight has been sent to re-education. Happiness is mandatory, Citizen.)
Image:greatertits.jpg|An attractive human female defector who for some reason has been equipped with a highly modified commander's battlesuit, perhaps as a devious ploy to compel desertion by the less loyal.
</gallery></center>

{{Tau}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}
{{40k-Governments}}

[[Category: Xenos]]

Tau

2017-10-19T02:18:40Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1: /* Castes */

[[Image:TAUSYMBOL.gif|center]]
{{Infobox 40k Nations
|name= Tau Empire
|image=[[Image:Tau_Empire_Flag.jpg|300px|center]]
|bgcolor=
|fgcolor=
|Capital= T'au
|Official Languages=Tau Lexicon
|Power= Minor Power
|Size=Approximately 100 Planets
|Head of State=Ethereal Supreme
|Head of Government= Ethereal Council
|Governmental Structure=Caste-Based Authoritarian Federation
|State Religion/Ideology=[[Greater Good]]
|Demographic=[[Tau]], [[Kroot]], [[Vespid]], [[Gue'vesa|Humans]], [[Nicassar]], [[Tarellian]], Nagi, Hrenians and other minor [[Xenos]] races
|Military Force=[[Tau]] Fire Caste, Tau Air Caste, [[Kroot]] and [[Vespid]] Forces, The Deathsworn, Hrenian Light Infantry, Demiurg Forces, Nicassar Forces, Gue'vesa Forces and other minor Xenos armies
}}
[[File:9jfnqeaplhexx.jpg|right|thumb|450px|Get the fuck out of the way, [[Imperium|Oldfag]].]]

{{Topquote|Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.|[[C.S. Lewis]]}}
{{Topquote|Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?|Luke 6:41}}
{{Topquote|Ce qui constitue une République, c'est l'extermination totale de tout ce qui lui est opposé.|Louis Antoine de Saint-Just}}
{{Topquote|The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting|Sun Zhu}}

Tau (τ) is the 19th letter of the Greek alphabet, 300 in Greek numerals, and also the name for 2π.

However, this article is about the '''Tau''' (or "bluies", as the Valhallan 597th call them)(or "Space Communists" as anyone on /tg/ will tell you), (or "T'au" as GW copywright lawyers call them) a playable race in ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]'' made of weaboo mecha communists in SPEEHS. When first discovered by humanity, the Tau were a barbaric and primitive people. Their planet was then trapped in a warp storm for a few thousand years and they emerged from the other side as a unified species, led by the [[Druids|mysterious]] Ethereal caste and devoted to the concept of the "[[Greater Good]]". Their new empire currently has around 115 worlds, and was growing until recently, when the Imperium sent a large invading force to counter them. Although a dystopian society in its own right, the Tau Empire is noted for being one of the LEAST awful places in all the galaxy of 40k. It's also [[Derp|not really an empire]]; the Tau government, the Ethereal caste, is essentially an edifice of meritocracy and nepotism-Tau leaders are appointed to their position by even higher ranking leaders and/or a council of their future peers; the highest ranking Tau, the Aun'O, is selected by his future underlings, much like the Catholic pope, but is still simply considered the weightiest voice of a group (like a prime minister), not an Emperor with absolute power. While Tau civilization has the behavioral tendencies of many empires throughout history (expansionism, military conquest of weaker states, forcible integration of the conquered peoples, etc.), it is the government structure of a state that makes it an empire, not foreign policies. Essentially, they are ''imperialist,'' but not an ''empire.''

The Tau started as a classic case of successful design-based [[Troll|trolling]] on the part of [[Games Workshop]]. They were originally developed because GW felt that their setting needed an optimistic race and that their wallets needed more money, which they could get by selling shedloads of 40k to the robot-obsessed Japanese. The Tau, therefore, are the least [[grimdark]] faction in the game; [[Tau Diplomacy|they're the dudes willing to negotiate when they've beaten their enemies]], while all the others are either too [[Chaos Space Marines| murderously psychotic in ways incomprehensible to anyone who does not share the same batshit insanity]], [[Imperium|religiously overzealous]], [[Eldar|arrogantly indifferent]], [[Orks|simplemindedly violent]], [[Necron|murderously enigmatic]], [[Tyranid|more interested in eating you than anything]], or [[Dark Eldar|all of the above]] to offer such courtesies.

This began to change in the 6th edition. For all the claims that GW doesn't listen to its fans, someone seemed to have heard the incessant bitching many fa/tg/uys made over the Tau being shoehorned into the setting in the worst way possible. As a result, the Tau began to take on an Orwellian flavor, with the Ethereals being totalitarian autocrats performing acts of ruthless indifference towards their subjects in the guise of being for the Greater Good. Recent [[fluff]] (from ''[[Dawn of War]]'', supported by [[Deathwatch]] supplements describing Achillus Crusade) has them <s>arbitrarily sterilizing the rebelling humans on Kronus once they come under the rule of the Tau Empire</s> sterilizing a group of humans attempting to revolt and distract Tau forces in the middle of a planet-wide, 6-way free-for-all (to be fair though, had it been anyone else they were revolting against, including the Imperials, those humans would be dead, [[Grimdark|most likely the slow and painful way, or even suffer such a terrible fate as to wish for death]]). The Tau Codex leaves ambiguous the question of just how much of their success is due to various forms of indoctrination, caste-based conditioning, and subtle mind control. This has only been exacerbated by the recent Farsight Enclaves supplement, which makes the Ethereals come off as mustache-twirling, Saturday-morning-cartoon villains. It speaks volumes about the 40k setting that in spite of all this they're ''still'' the friendliest race in the galaxy.

=="Naive Weeaboo Space Communists"==
[[Image:Tau Weeaboo.png|thumb|right|Cue hotblooded music by [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r6xYnFDoV0 JAM Project].]]
The Tau's naiveté might seem at odds with the GRIMDARK-ness of the setting (and to a degree, a lot of it is), but the thing is, Games Workshop specifically plays this straight FOR the [[grimdark]] and ''knows'' that the seeming futility of the Tau's optimism only further accentuates the general hellishness of the rest of the galaxy - and dear [[Emperor|god]] do they play this up for maximum effect. In the 41st millennium, the Tau come across as ''more'' than a little naive to the other races; the Imperium sees any contact with aliens as heretical and will shoot them with [[bolter]] rounds as soon as they look at them; the [[Ork]]s just want to kick the shit out of things; and the [[Eldar]] see the Tau as young and powerful because of their technology but also as a race in its infancy, just staggering out of its borders for the first time and wandering into a pond full of [[Saharduin|sh]][[Dark Eldar|arks]].

Putting it simply, there's an ongoing joke that the Tau are some of the most successful trolling performed in the history of mankind just by ''existing''; a case of the company installing them just to mix things up whilst at the same time keeping them surprisingly on-level.

The combination of the above fluff, however, paired with their highly advanced technology, generally "Asian" feel (their Fire Caste's combat doctrine is often reminiscent of Sun Tzu's "''Art of War''" - but derived from two distinct Tau hunting methods), use of [[Mecha|battlesuits]] (just [[Imperial Knight|like]] [[Dreadnought|the]] [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|Imperium]]), [[Hammerhead Gunship|heavy firepower]] which rivals that of the Imperial Guard, and one of the [[Fish of Fury|most broken tactics in tabletop 40K until it was finally fixed an edition later]] has conspired to make them very much hated (and by that we mean a source of butthurt) by a reasonable-sized population of the [[/tg/|40K fan populace]], and /tg/ has rightly dubbed the Tau [[Weeaboo]] (as much due to their Asian-ness as anything else) as a result (even when people can use the same logic to point to the Imperium's xenophobia, the fanatical worship of the God-Emperor, extensive use of Mecha and suicide attacks, use of suicide attacks as punishment for dishonour, and fondness for over-the-top dialogue in general and conclude that the Imperium of Man is the space equivalent of Holy Imperial Japan). As a dark twist on this inherent Asian-ness, a thread concerning lack of grimdark fan fluff on Tau led to the creation of [[Sept V'iet]], the Viet Cong Tau.
[[Image:Tau fire warriors.jpg|490px|thumb|left|The [[Greater Good]]: translatable as [[Deal with it|"if you want to make an omelette, you gotta break some eggs."]]]]

And again in a case of much cultural confusion, the Tau are often considered [[Communism|communists]] (despite being a rigorous, hierarchical, near-eugenicist class society that would drive Marx into [[RAGE]]) due to their central philosophy of casting aside the self in favour of the Greater Good. If anything the Tau more resemble the class system of Plato's ''Republic'' crossed with the caste system of India and [[Star_Trek#The_Federation|Star Trek's Federation]] (because they're the only ones in the entire galaxy who bother to try diplomacy with xenos rather than [[Exterminatus|exterminate]] them). However, the portrayal of the Tau as the equivalent of the Federation might still be wrong, since the Tau, amongst their castes, adhere to a highly strict doctrine of eugenics; [[Love Can Bloom|any form of love, sex or breeding between different castes or species]] is the Tau equivalent of [[HERESY]]. As well, the Tau treat their [[Tau#Tau_Member_Races|non-Tau comrades]] as second-class citizens with no say in the Tau government, and demand them to abandon their old culture and conform to a Tau Empire, basically becoming like everyone else. Ergo, the Tau, despite not being the exterminate-all-other-species kind of racist, are still an ethnocentric, aristocratic empire hiding beneath the same type of veneer as the Federation, not unlike Britain during their 'tenure' as the rulers of India. To be fair though, if [[GW]] does decide to up the [[Grimdark#Grimderp|grimderp]] it would be more than safe to assume they would go the way of Stalin and start flaunting fancy propaganda posters everywhere—not that the Imperium doesn't already fill that part and the drawfaggots haven't already done great work in this field. What is for sure though is that, whatever part of the one-dimensional spectrum of political agenda they are on, the Tau government is mainly oligarchical, with the vast majority of political power concentrated in the Ethereal caste. This is further driven home by the fact there is a Tau splinter faction led by one of their two best generals alive, Commander [[Farsight]] of the Farsight Enclaves, whose government is a non-caste (presumedly socialist/capitalist hybrid), meritocratic semi-democracy. The problem is, until people stop dragging him out of his self-imposed exile to fight Tyranids, Orks, and other Tau, he's a dictator the way Optimus Prime is sometimes depicted. Farsight's government is one most certainly [[RAGE|NOT recognized by the Tau Empire]], who have finally gotten around to dispatching a fleet to silence them. <s>This, of course, is [[Advancing_the_Storyline|imminent plot stuff that will never happen]] because it's always the 41st millennium.</s> nope, GeeDubs ''finally'' decided to move the plot forward, thankfully. We still have yet to see the outcome of this fleet dispatch, though.

However, the new codex has HEAVILY downplayed their naiveté, bringing back the original codex mention that the Ethereals have officially declared some species "lost causes" and that the [[Greater Good]] demands they be killed to the last.
*[[Orks]] were the first of the big players of 40k to get this treatment. They pretty much were the only serious competition Tau had before they discovered the Imperium, and it only took them a few weeks of study to realize the fact that Orks are beyond reason or sanity.
*[[Tyranids]] unsurprisingly ended up on "shoot on sight" list pretty much after the first contact.
*[[Eldar]] briefly were on the list too, owning this to the first contact being made by the Commorites, and not just any, but [[Urien Rakarth]] himself. It took some nuked Exodite world and Craftworld intervention for tau to realize that not all space-elves are insane rapists and scratch them off the list.
*[[Space Marines]] seem to be entering the list as of the second Damocles war. The reason is not because it's impossible to reason with them, but because after some intense Water caste psychoanalysis and Nagi "mind-[[rape|riping]]" they pretty much declared that astartes aren't ''people'' but merely a ''weapon'' and as such have no place in Tau'Va.

To sum it up, the Tau Empire is still an expansionist empire prone to using military force, but far better than almost every other polity in the setting, as it permits others to exist with rather lenient standards, and isn't dedicated to the purposeful extinction of all other life in the galaxy.

==Military Doctrine==
[[Image:TauTyr2.jpg|right|500px|thumb|Close-quarters painting [[Drawfag|strikes again.]]]]
The Tau disdain [[Choppy|melee]] [[Rip and tear|combat]] in favour of [[Shooty|ranged combat]], which renders them instantaneously [[Matt Ward|less manly]] in the eyes of most of /tg/'s playerbase. The reasons behind this are complicated. Generally, Tau see hand to hand combat in warfare as an anachronism, which makes sense, considering their basic guns can rip apart tank side armour, and compared to almost all other major races Tau have less muscle strength and reaction speed, which makes them ineffective in melee even if they are trained. Even the last reason alone is enough to avoid close combat, seeing as [[Necrons]] use similar logic, despite their [[Necron Warrior|Warriors]] and [[Necron Immortal|Immortals]] being much stronger and tougher, and actually highly trained in close combat, but equally as slow. That said, Tau do practice martial arts, but only for ritual purposes - Fire Warrior trials and rites involve knives and swords, while Ethereals have a tradition of fighting non-lethal duels to settle disputes, using sharp bladed weapons no less, so they are often quite good with their fencing style, as [[Aun'Shi]] has shown to some unfortunate Orks.

Logistically, Tau military doctrine has been hit hard with the same [[grimdark|stupidity]] nerf bat as every other fieldable army, but is the only faction for which this violates their own fluff; every other faction has some reason for their material to be as limited as they would be in a fantasy setting, but the Tau have widespread education, unlike Men and Orks; reasonable access to production facilities relative to their population, unlike Necrons and Eldar; and are capable of coherent research and development, unlike Tyranids and Daemons. For fluff reasons which have never been explained (the crunch reason is obvious), they have the same motif as every other army of equipment often being more valuable than the person wielding it, leading to most personnel being fielded with inferior equipment. The most obvious example of this is that they always, under whatever circumstance, field infantry in simple combat armour rather than some sort of battlesuit - its only advantage is having less bulk, as the Tau have a reason not to build larger transports to cope with the shitloads of battlesuits they could deploy instead. This argument is analogous to saying that real-world militaries should only use armored vehicles and not have infantry. The Tau likely practice economy of force, which has consequences both on and off the battlefield. Sending excessive amounts of force at a target is wasteful, as the excess firepower would be more useful elsewhere. If one only has a XV8 Battlesuits and no infantry, but a swarm of grots in a nearby pass needs to be taken out, they have no choice but to commit a very valuable unit to a task far beneath its worth. This is also an economic matter, as lower power units are cheaper. One could easily field a number of fire warriors for far less than the cost of a single battlesuit, and considering many foes will fall beneath "mere" infantry, any cost-aware faction would prefer the infantry's use over an expensive battlesuit. In other words, they are the army who most resemble modern forces in terms of strategy, and mixed armies of infantry, armor and support elements are a good combination. And who the fuck can with a straight face call a pulse rifle and carapace grade armour "inferior equipment"?

The Tau's superior [[Dakka|firepower]] is similar to that of the [[Imperial Guard]], but their strategy is different in that they tend to rely less on mass warfare and more on sophisticated technical support (drones, stealth technology, railguns), with an emphasis on tactical precision, mobility, and the initiative of individual squads of units, much like how modern warfare is waged (apparently if the Imperial Guard learned from Tau tacticians and fought with modern tactics instead of zergrushing everything then they would have been the most powerful army in the galaxy, but no, that ain't GRIMDARK and AWESOME enough [unless you're [[Lord Solar Macharius|Macharius]]]). Their military doctrine is not based on winning by attrition and/or throwing out quality tactics in favour of absorbing and dishing out heavy shocks in bloody epic clusterfucks like the Imperials, Orks and early World War II-era Soviet Russia. (Unless you count the later war "deep warfare", which is actually the combat doctrine the Tau ripped off. 40k really seems to like the Russians...) Rather, they use infiltration and their sophisticated battlesuits to [[Anal Circumference|bypass enemy strong points and launch deep into their rear]], cutting supply lines and logistics, destroying headquarters and support units, leaving enemies cut off and functionally helpless. There are numerous examples of Tau literally starving and/or thirsting entire armies to death by cutting out their supply lines, while simultaneously harassing them with night raids, ambushes and air strikes to the point the survivors are leaderless, demoralized, out of ammo and fuel, and can barely stand due to exhaustion. The [[Imperial_Armour_Volume_Three:_The_Taros_Campaign#Volume_Three_-_The_Taros_Campaign|Taros]] campaign is a prime example of these tactics (and of the Imperium's strategic stupidity).

Of course, these kinds of tactics only work fine against more convenient armies like the Imperial Guard or Orks. When it comes to Space Marines and Eldar, who sport mostly aerial/warp/webway supply lines, operate as elite armies without obvious weak spots to exploit, have similar or superior tactical mobility and badass officers that can survive most assassination attempts, Tau lose huge parts of their usual advantages (but get the numerical superiority in return). Against utterly unconventional foes, like Tyranids, Daemons or Necrons... well, all times they faced such foes, Tau either devised some entirely new strategies, or lost horribly.
[[File:TauTyr.jpg|thumb|left|300px|90% of Tau [[dakka]] comes in the form of [[Plasma|pretty blue lights.]]]]
The Tau, again, boast some of the most powerful ranged weaponry on the tabletop game, and can crank out more concentrated firepower than any other faction with the lone exception of the Imperial Guard and maybe the orks if you only count number of bullets in the air, and even then, the Tau's weapons hit quite a bit harder. They have pathetic hand-to-hand combat skills, however, and so the Tau bolster this by using several inducted races (the [[Kroot]], Vespid, and even some [[Gue'vesa|humans cut off from the Imperium during the Damocles Crusade]]) to act as buffers against assault troops to allow Tau Fire Warrior teams and their heavy, long-ranged firepower to tear enemies apart. The most pivotal, and perhaps most infamous, part of the Tau army are their [[Battlesuit|Battlesuits]], which can mount multiple heavy weapon systems and provide excellent mobility to their pilots, all on a fairly durable unit. They also have an extremely powerful navy, though not quite as formidable as the Imperium's, if largely because of number differences. Tau air units are among the best in the game, with aircraft superior or equal to Imperial Guard equivalents, including a stealth fighter, multipurpose heavy fighter, a superheavy fighter with guns that can one-shot a Titan, and their own [[Manta|Titan-equivalent]] (which is a small starship). Unlike the Imperium, they usually deploy swarms upon swarms of flyers, with only Orks and Necrons able to rival them in numbers when things come to dogfights—kind of the way the Imperial fleets' atmospheric support craft were supposed to work if fleet officers weren't a bunch of assholes who do everything they can to provide as little air support as possible.

On defense, the Tau are a bit unusual: they leave only token garrisons at their colonies to protect them. These garrisons are intended for scouting rather than combat, avoiding engagement in order to observe and report on invaders using Pathfinders, scanning towers, and drones. Because the Tau have fairly powerful spacefleets and usually keep their forces within reasoned distance of potential hotspots, any potential threat can be quickly dealt with by organizing a hunter cadre to be sent to deal with the situation. For those of you who don't get it, it's Frederick the Great's "he who tries to protect everything protects nothing" strategy. Of course, this strategy means Tau must have some worlds actually being heavily defended - and in fact they do. Sept worlds tend to be guarded by some nasty space stations and garrisoned by an unreasonable amounts of hunter cadres and auxiliary troops, which allows them to act as major defensive nodes from which response fleets are dispatched and to which evacuation fleets rally (think feudal Japan style castles from which commanders would send trained garrisons out to protect the lands around it from encroaching armies), and in case some really scary shit like an Imperial crusade or a Tyranid hive-fleet comes into the sept, it is on the sept world where the decisive battle is fought (See the First Damocles Crusade for an example of this tactic in action). This has, however, backfired on occasion, since it does mean that the Tau garrisons are very vulnerable in the initial stages of an attack.

A rare advantage the Tau have is their willingness to change military strategy. As examples, look at how they changed tactics in reaction to the [[Damocles Crusade]] by the Imperium of Man, and even built an entirely new space fleet to match humans in straight-on space fights, or their unusual but effective choice of switching to older weapons when dealing with [[Hive Fleet Behemoth|Hive Fleet Gorgon]].

==Fleet==
In the old fluff, Tau used to have a reverse-engineered imperial warp drives, tuned to only skim the surface of the warp and bounce back to materium after a short while. New fluff on the other hand retconned that, by giving them what is called "slingshot drive" for their FTL, and from what little fluff we have on it, it looks like the actual warp drive (in the modern physics meaning, i.e. warped time-space bubble). The practical applications, however, are the same in both new and old fluff - Tau FTL is much slower than the Imperium's, but is predictable, reliable, and not affected by warp storms (a big deal, given Tau spent half of their history inside one). As a result, Tau are capable of building proper interstellar logistics lines, ones the Administratum can only dream of, but their strategic mobility is <s>lacking functionally superior to</s>...different compared to pretty much every other faction (save Tyranids and Necrons, who also use non-Warp related FTL). Additionally, Slingshot drives are rather big, heavy and power-hungry, even compared to the Warp drive (which takes up a 1/3rd of a smaller imperial ships). As a result, escort-class Tau spacecraft are built without FTL drives and are hooked to bigger ships for the purpose of interstellar travel, which basically make them equivalents of the Imperium's system monitor ships, with the same benefits (cheap, compact and too fast, powerful or durable for their size) without their major downside (being incapable of FTL flight). The Tau also have to concentrate their forces on an interplanetary scale; they can't throw a bunch of ships into a warzone from halfway across the galaxy as orks and humans can.
Tau empire have two fleets:
*Kor'Vatra, or "merchant fleet", is made of older modular ships that double as merchant and colony vessels (hence the name). One of their main shticks is huge arcs of fire for most gun batteries, with side batteries easily covering front arc, and nose batteries covering all but the stern - as a result, while Kor'vatra Ships may not have as much firepower as Imperial or Ork ones, they can focus more of it on one target. On the flip side, merchant ships while decently fast at sub-light, are not very agile, and must rely on escort wings and auxiliary fleets against more maneuverable foes. Even after the founding of Kor'Or'Vesh, Kor'Vatra still see a lot of military use, especially against the Imperium, precisely because it's regarded as non-military fleet, so Tau diplomats could tell their imperial colleagues "What battle cruisers on your orbit are you talking about? It's just our merchant vessels, moving goods to and from our trade missions".
*Kor'Or'Vesh, or "combat fleet" is a newer fleet, made for battling Imperium's fleet in straight up battle, after Kor'Vatra get run over during Damocles crusade. Made out of more compact, maneuverable and better armored ships, it may lack Kor'Vatra's wide arks of fire, but is superior in every other regard, and as Taros and second Damocles campaigns showed it is more then capable of fighting off humans even if outnumbered.
Both fleets use largely the same technologies - railguns as (by tau standard) short-ranged high damage gun batteries, ion cannons as long range beams (lance equivalent), and above all, their brokenly-powerful ordinance second only to Eldar ones (and available in far greater numbers) - Mantas, Barracudas and EMP drone-torpedoes reign supreme at extreme ranges, gaining Tau navy the same reputation their ground armies have. Because their ordinance is so powerful, most Tau ships tend towards carrier and torpedo boat archetype, and suffer horribly if enemy comes within macro-cannon or god-forbid boarding range (that is IF they manage to come that close).

==Non-combat Fluff==
[[File:Tau city.jpg|450px|thumb|right|Contrary to what [[Imperium of Man|some]] believe, what this picture shows might just be the future for the entire galaxy if the Tau [[Great Crusade|get their way.]]]]
The Tau were a new race/culture found by the Imperium of Man during their "slash and burn" exploration of their galactic neighborhood. The Tau were still pastoral, had just discovered flint tools and charcoal, and the Imperium had them scheduled for "[[Grimdark|routine cleansing]]" (which is Imperiumese for ruthless genocide) to make sure they never got off-world and developed into an entity capable of threatening humanity. Needless to say, that plan was promptly [[derp|fucked up]]. By an unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on your feelings towards a species' right to not be mercilessly exterminated for no reason whatsoever) coincidence which almost certainly involved the dickery of [[Tzeentch]] or [[Cegorach]] or [[The Deceiver|something]], a warp storm occluded the Tau homeworld, so nobody could get in or out. Since the Tau were virtually invisible in the warp, the warp storm didn't have much of an effect on them as they were immune to the influences of Chaos. [[FAIL|The sector was labeled "lost to Chaos,"]] and cleansing was [[What|deferred indefinitely]]. Then [[Age of Apostasy|this shit]] happened, and almost all records about Tau were lost in the ensuring [[Rape|clusterfuck]] of civil war. Only the Adeptus Mechanicus still had records of this first contact when the storm died down 6,000 years later. The Damocles Crusade relocated the Tau, who were completely untouched by the warp storm and now using interstellar colony ships and pulse rifles. The extermination order still stood—it was just going to be much more difficult than the Imperium expected, seeing as the Tau, instead of [[C.S. Goto|throwing spears and rocks at their tanks]] and Space Marines, were now throwing [[ion cannon|ion charges]], [[plasma|plasma blasts]], and [[railgun|electromagnetically-accelerated hypervelocity projectiles]] at their tanks and Space Marines.

Tau history is pretty typical up through the iron-age: a knack for engineering, warfare between "urban" farmers and "barbarian" nomads, and unrestrained growth causing a series of plagues, leading to a dark age. Here's where things go sideways, though the Tau see it as the start of their endless Golden Age: the arrival of the Ethereals. Legend tells of a five-year siege at the castle of Fio'taun, with both sides starving and succumbing to disease, when two foreign Tau entered the battlefield. One went to the castle, the other to the barbarian tribes. Each of these Tau had a quiet grace and irresistible authority. In just a few hours, the castle was persuaded to open their gates, and the barbarians laid down their weapons, and both parties met to parley a truce. These strange Tau called themselves "Ethereals," and stressed the importance of peace and understanding between all Tau. They described a "Greater Good" that each Tau must strive towards. Soon after, soon enough to seem simultaneous, more of these strange new Tau emerged across the continent with their message of peace and co-operation for all Tau. Their quiet authority was always respected, and their message of harmony was universally embraced. Wait a minute, [[God-Emperor of Mankind|I've seen this]] [[Great Crusade|historical pattern before]]....

Perhaps uniquely for the setting, Tau-human interactions bear the whiff of realpolitik. On the one hand, the Imperium wants to exterminate them ''eventually'', but the upper management generally realizes that the Tau are going to be a giant drain of resources and manpower to get rid of, given the stiff resistance they put up in [[Damocles Crusade|previous campaigns]] and their [[Riptide|uniformly]] [[railgun|advanced]] [[battlesuit|technology]]. Furthermore, they serve as a useful buffer state against various threats on the Eastern Fringe, from Orks and Chaos raiders to Tyranid hive fleets to alien forces the Imperium hasn't had (recorded) contact with. Their existence deflects danger from Imperial space, and in a place and time when the Imperium is [[Time of Ending|coming under attack from all sides]], that's more important than dogma.

This strategy is not unique to the Tau only though, as the Imperium allows countless other (much more dangerous) xeno empires to prosper in the Eastern Fringe to serve as an ablative shield against much nastier shit. Amongst those is (for example) the Charadon ork empire, which is older than the Imperium and spawns a Waaagh! or two per millennium (even with the routine warboss assasination raids that the Ultramarines make). Even after the emergence of the genius warboss Snagrod and his Waagh on Rynn no one cared to issue a crusade against them. So yeah, the Tau empire is not even close to being spotted by the High Lords, not to mention recognized as a threat dangerous enough to actually do something about.

Conversely, the Tau have realized just how massive an undertaking expanding through the entire universe would really be, and are taking it slow. They mostly absorb Imperial buffer worlds stripped of manpower and armament in the face of massive redeployments to face other threats, offering the Empire's protection in return for annexation and outright conquering the places that don't take the deal. The Tau have claimed that they are engaging in this sort of aggressive behavior because ''someone's'' going to [[Tyranids|gobble]] those settlements up sooner or later, and if ''they'' don't do it, then whoever does won't be [[Exterminatus|nearly as nice about it]]. While baldly self-serving, that logic is...well, mostly correct, really.

There's no lost love between the Imperium and the Tau, but open full-scale war is probably unlikely in the near-future.

And then the Second Damocles Crusade happened.... even the imperium isn't that stupid, so this almost certainly involves that tricky dick Tzeench trying to stop the greater good from ruining all his plans. ...Or nurgle...or, well any of the ruinous powers really.

Looking at the new galactic map, where the Tau are now sandwiched between their own eye of terror and a Necron dynasty, they are soon to be fucked.

=== Castes ===
[[File:Commander HawkEye.jpg|thumb|290px|left|<s>Join the Greater Good, lose your virginity to a hot alien babe!</s> The codex space communism does not approve this action ]]

Tau society after the arrival of Ethereals was organized into castes; everyone with a place, and a place for everyone. Interbreeding between castes has been outlawed by the [[Ethereal]]s presumably to preserve the biological differences between castes, and as part of this effort they have taken over the practice of sex entirely. Tau society has been manipulated so that Tau do not form romantic bonds of a long-lasting nature and do not even consider sex to be anything other than a state-mandated act meant only, like everything else, to serve society and the Greater Good. In essence, Tau are conditioned to never have sex until and unless their superiors say they are worth breeding. Their superiors pick their breeding partners (the Tau get NO input into this) and the couple basically spends a few days off from work screwing around before going their separate ways to never see each other again. If a Tau did somehow get over their social conditioning and thought of sex as something more than a mandated duty, they'd be punished for illegal activities/perversion. An Imperial genetor's report in the fourth edition Tau codex observes the presence of synthetic proteins in Tau internal organs and suggests them as evidence that their evolution has been accelerated, though he might have been confused by synthetic proteins that the Tau were given. [[/tg/]] seems to be under the strong impression that they are mammals, as you can see in the picture further down the page, despite the complete implausibility of this theory.

==== {{anchor|Fire|Fire Caste}} Shas (Fire) ====
The '''Fire Caste''' consists of the various [[Fire Warrior|warriors]] of the Tau Empire. The miniatures of a Tau army in a [[Warhammer 40,000]] game are almost exclusively Fire Caste. Other castes think Shas are overly-aggressive hotheads due to their tendency to solve all problems by applying more plasma (when Tau encountered other sentient species, Fire Caste representatives immediately voted to hunt down and exterminate them, just like they hunted down dangerous local life forms on the other world they colonized), although from the perspective of humans or eldar, who know better how "[[Khorne Berserker|aggressive]] [[Blood Angels|hotheads]]" actually look like, fire warriors are seen more like a cold-blooded killers, even when they are enraged by the death of their Ethereal, which just shows how calm and disciplined other castes are. They are taller than Earth Caste Tau, and physically stronger than the Air and Water Castes, though still shorter and weaker than a typical Human. They pretty much compensate for this by giving their basic Fire Warrior a [[pulse rifle]], which is sort of like an automatic sniper-[[plasma]] gun, and employ heavily armed and sophisticated battlesuits for their elite infantry. Oh yeah, and [[Railgun]]s. Company -sized Tau forces are called "Hunter Cadres".

==== {{anchor|Earth|Earth Caste}} Fio (Earth) ====
The '''Earth Caste''' are the laborers and engineers; they are the "civilians" of Tau society. Their appearance can vary widely, though other Tau would describe them as "plain." They all have a stoic outlook, with little ambition other than to excel in their career of choice and work for the Greater Good. Unlike the Imperial worker classes, whose quality of life generally ''starts'' at working 14-hour days seven days a week while living off of dried, recycled dung chips and goes [[Such is life on Volg|''downhill from there'']], the Earth caste is mostly concerned with technological planning and engineering. They have robots to do the grunt work. The Farsight Enclaves field some Earth Caste pilots for their battlesuits, demonstrating their more flexible caste systems and/or their desperation for manpower. Doing so makes them ''even worse'' in close-combat than Tau already are, but they make up for it with technical training and tweaks to the suits' software and mechanics, re-rolling missed shots and equipment failures.

==== {{anchor|Air|Air Caste}} Kor (Air) ====
The '''Air Caste''' are the intermediaries between Tau. In more primitive times they served as messengers and couriers, and sometimes scouts/explorers, gliding on membranous anatomical surfaces through T'au's atmosphere. When the Tau started exploring offworld, it was the Air Caste that took charge of the vessels traveling between the stars. Now the Air Caste are the Tau stellar navy/airforce/mailmen, piloting the Empire's various carriers, warships, and emissary cruisers. Air caste Tau tend to be tall and slender like runners or dancers, and this is frequently exaggerated by the years the Tau navy spends in low-gravity. They are much less likely to be eaten by [[daemon]]s due to a faulty Geller Field than their Imperial equivalents, but only because their ships are much slower, using a "slingshot drive" to temporarily enter the Warp and bounce back into real space. Despite their slender stature and lack of muscle mass, Air caste pilots are extremely resistant to G-force, making them excellent void and atmospheric fighter pilots (simultaneously, as small Tau voidcraft also double as atmospheric craft).

==== {{anchor|Water|Water Caste}} Por (Water) ====
The '''Water Caste''' are the emissaries to non-Tau. They are diplomats, merchants, civil servants. The most open-minded Tau can be found among the Water caste, with some even showing individual ambition (but still for the greater good of the Tau Empire). When a new culture is encountered, the Water caste are sent in first to negotiate. If talks break down, the Water caste are withdrawn from the area and it's time for the Fire Caste to then start negotiating with pulse weapon fire. Also, unlike their Imperial equivalents in bureaucracy, the [[Administratum]], they are brisk, efficient, and very good at their jobs. No dumping valuable ammo on an uninhabited dust world because no one signed the paperwork not to. It's a less known fact that Pors also run the Tau intelligence and espionage network, and Por'Os and Por'Els from this branch are pretty much Tau Inquisitors except more competent, much saner, and not nearly as good at kicking asses personally. As of the second Damocles Crusade the Imperium has designated the Water caste as a primary threat above any other Tau caste, as their subterfuge, diplomacy and propaganda has cost the Imperium more worlds and manpower than the Fire and Air caste's military prowess combined, and they even managed to totally outplay the Inquisition on its own field, which royally pissed them off.

==== {{anchor|Ethereal|Ethereal Caste}} Aun (Ethereal) ====
The '''Ethereal Caste''' are basically the philosopher-kings described by Plato in "The Republic". They are selfless and always focused on what is best for the Greater Good ("Tau'va") for all Tau and every Tau without exception. The Ethereals are inspirational to all Tau caste members, and merely being near one will inspire a Tau soldier, engineer, pilot, or diplomat to work harder. In the case of the Fire Caste, some Ethereals accompany hunter cadres in battle during important deployments so as to better lead/inspire the troops, which works because all Tau in the combat zone will fight to their bitter deaths. They also seem to have semi-magical powers (don't ask how they work, none of the Tau know themselves) that allow Tau around them to do special things, like running while shooting. The [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] theorizes that the respect the Ethereal Caste gets from all other Tau is caused by a pheromone. ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTAU......

Also, ''[[Xenology]]'' relates a story from a major, insectoid race called the [[Q'Orl]] which alleges that the [[Eldar]] stole one of their queens. Given that these queens have a magic, yellow, diamond-shaped sack that produces mind-control pheromones…well, let's just say the characters in the story figure it out quickly enough. There is a theory that the Ethereals themselves are also affected by their own pheromones, which could explain why they're so selfless and uncorrupted despite their absolute power. This can also be supported by the (old as fuck and likely retconned) novelization of [[Warhammer_40,000:_Fire_Warrior|Fire Warrior]], where the Ethereal character has a pretty level head and chipper demeanor despite having been [[Anal_Circumference|repeatedly captured and tortured by both the Inquisition and Chaos, watching his diplomatic retinue chopped up by a Chaos Lord, and mind-raped by said Chaos Lord all in the span of roughly two days.]] Either he's a stoic old motherfucker, or he's just too busy tripping his blue balls on his own pheromones to give a shit.

===Tau Names===
Tau have ridiculously long, detailed and actually meaningful names. Their names contain their caste, rank, birth sept, and one or more nicknames earned by them through the course of their lives. Fluff does say that they ''do'' have birth names, but those are only used before tau earn at least one appropriate nickname, as a name given to them by comrades is considered more valuable than one just chosen by random at their birth. The nickname part and it's importance surprisingly is actually taken from the Roman culture, which is weird, given most Tau culture tend to be based on China and Japan (except for their social and government structures which are copied almost verbatim from Plato's Republic). Also, do note the lack of last names, which is expected, since Tau society pretty much have no institute of a family, with children being raised in a centralized facilities apart from their parents. As tau grow, move through ranks and achieve respect of his comrades his name changes appropriately, switching the rank part, adding new nicknames and sometimes dropping the old and outdated ones. For example, when Farsight was still a lowly fire warrior, his name was '''Shas'La Vior'La Shoh''' (Fire Caste Private of the Hot-Blooded sept Inner Light), and at the "present days" '''Shas'O Vior'La Shovah Kais Mont'yr''' (Fire Caste Commander of the Hot-Blooded sept Farsight Skillful Blooded). How the fuck Tau bureaucracy--{{BLAM}} Space commies don't have bureaucracy. is able to keep track of their population with their names constantly changing is a mystery, but it seems they have no problem with that (probably they just assign number to each).

For the sake of convenience Tau often use shortened versions of names, almost always dropping the sept part and secondary nicknames, and if speaking within one caste the caste part too, so in the case of Farsight other fire warriors could refer to him as O'Shovah, while for example an Ethereal would call him Shas'O'Shovah. Humans and other non-Tau often get this system wrong and shorten the names in a ways that make little sense: for example, Imperium's Taros invasion force thought the Taros' chief Ethereal's name was Aun'El, which was only his caste and rank, and as the book was mostly written from the Imperium's standpoint, we still don't know what was his actual name.

One final stroke of Tau naming, is that as they abandon their true (birth) names it makes them even more resistant to sorcery and daemonic powers that often require target's true name to amplify their effect or even make the spell work at all.

===Psychic/Chaos defense===
Tau are an entire race of psychic blunts, they cannot produce psykers and have limited innate resisance to some forms of psychic powers and daemonic bullshit. People often mistake this resistance to outright invulnerability, but in truth it's more akin to camouflage - Tau souls are so dim they are indistinguishable from the spirits of non-sapients at best, and at most times they even blend in the psychic background of inanimate objects. This may have something to do with how unemotional tau are, as some of the more passionate subjects in the fluff had been slightly affected by warp shenanigans like faint whispers and slight feelings of "wrongness" in places where humans creep out and try to run away immediately, while more calm and collected tau hadn't noticed anything strange. If for example a telepath tries to mind-rape a tau or a daemon tries to posses a tau he'd find it hard to find a soul to target, but if he manages to find it there would be even less resistance than with regular humans. Sadly while this trait is often shown in the fluff, it does not affect tau crunch in any way.

This innate defense is further strengthened by the Greater Good philosophy deeply indoctrinated into each Tau from childhood and (allegedly) reinforced by a subtle mind control. Tau'Va being the antithesis of all the creeds of Chaos makes tau all but immune to it's temptations, and only a single Tau has ever actually fallen to Chaos, the Water Caste member Water Spider who was possessed by a Daemon of Tzeentch. That being said, the Tau have only just been exposed to the more material horrors of the galaxy; should they become jaded and start losing faith in the Greater Good (as inferred with giving up on indoctrinating certain species), well, that would be an entirely different situation. Their allies, including the Kroot, have been known to go all-in with Chaos worship, although Tau seldom take culture from their allied races.

==Alliances==
{{MattWard}}
[[File:Illus4.jpg|280px|right|thumb|Unfortunately for some [[Slaanesh|deviants]] [[Extra Heresy|and heretical elements on]] [[/tg/]]. [[Not as Planned|This is what an actual canon Tau Female looks like.]] No boobs, no curves, no ass, no redeeming qualities other than having a face of your grandmother and the nose of a mutilated vag. Know the alien. Hate the alien. Purge the alien. The Emperor Protects!]]
In 6th edition, Tau are notable for being one of two factions (the other being Imperial Guard) who can ally with anyone except for 'Nids. Yes, this includes both Chaos Space Marines and Chaos Daemons, although, according to the Farsight Enclaves supplement, <s>Farsight is one of the few Tau (maybe the only one ''period'') who actually understands the existence of Chaos, so the average Tau would consider them to be just another kind of alien.</s> Farsight rebelled because the Ethereals understand the existence of Chaos on some level, but keep it suppressed from the general populace so they're not entirely screwed. It still isn't going to end well though.

This leads to a few...''interesting'' alliances, to say the least.

First off, Tau ''can'' ally with [[Ork]]s, even though fluff-wise they are viewed as enemies of the Greater Good to be purged wherever encountered. Smaller Ork warbands (mostly [[Blood Axes]]) frequently act as mercenaries, of course, so the Tau might use them in that capacity. Plus, there might be fluff changes coming up (most notably, it was rumored that the [[Gretchin Revolutionary Committee]] would return in the new Orks codex; they, of course, would get along quite well with the Tau).

They are also battle brothers with both the Space Marines and Eldar, which has caused a large amount of headscratching on /tg/. The Eldar make a modicum of sense; after all, the Eldar most likely had a hand in their synthetic evolution and the creation of the Ethereals, and the Eldar are well known for being expert manipulators. A Tau-Space Marine alliance, though, would be odd, to say the least, since Tau and Space Marines are always going at it in the [[fluff]]. Of course, a minor [[Space Marine Chapter|chapter]] could always find an alliance with the Tau, or even join the Greater Good, but that seems far-fetched at best. Old fluff from back in the 3rd edition codex tells a story of a Tau commander letting an Apothecary remove the aul glands from dead Marines, establishing that the Tau are honourable warriors in the minds of this particular chapter. Isn't too hard to guess that someone at GW felt the battle brothers thing was a bit of a head-desk move, so they tried to fix it.

The weirdest part, though, is that Tau ''aren't'' Battle Brothers with the Imperial Guard, despite (or maybe because of) the existence of [[Gue'vesa]] (Imperial Guard defectors).

7th edition corrected all of this for the Tau, making them only battle brothers with themselves and certain allies of convenience, like Necrons and the Eldar, while the rest are desperate allies or, in the case of daemons and 'Nids, allies of the apocalypse. This effectively "fixes" the issue from the point of view of a butthurt puritan while still allowing for those who bought Tau models to include them as allies in their games.

8th edition totally destroyed any chance of Tau having allies in matched play games. Taudar is dead, thank fuck.

==Tau Member Races==
[[File:Dynamic entry by majesticchicken.jpg|right|thumb|550px|Look up fuckers! You're invited to the latest imperial party and we're not taking "no" for an answer!]]
The Tau are the only faction that willingly accept other races into their ranks. Typically, the races are extended a hand from the Water Caste first, and if they still pose a problem or otherwise refuse to be reasoned with, the Fire Warriors are sent in. It should be noted that tau usually are not in haste of annexing the world, and if the aliens don't want to join right now but aren't immediately hostile and open to trade, Water Caste would slowly but surely convert them into a Greater Good to the point that one day they themselves would ask to join the Empire. The species, when annexed or conquered, are usually allowed to keep their planet, but must answer to the authority of the local Ethereal and possibly the local Shas'o. Most of them are fluff and don't show up on the tabletop, but it would get a little ridiculous if you could purport to play a 'single' 40k race that included, like, twelve different races.

* Demiurg - [[Squats]] reborn. They are a race of space-faring miners specializing in ionic weaponry who serve the Tau with their engineering and mining abilities. They also serve as an example of something the Imperium will never do: save dead codex races (Well, okay, they're sort of saved...). They make an appearance in Battlefleet Gothic: Armada though, so that's nice.
* Galgs - Frog/Toad People who are regularly hired as mercenaries. No other information available. Probably [[Lizardmen#Slann|Slann]] In Space.
* [[Gue'vesa]] - Humans who have not only defected to the Tau, but chosen to take up arms and fight alongside them to serve the Greater Good. Rules for them are found in [[Forge World|Forge World's]] Imperial Armour Volume 3. <s>(If the current trend goes on we may see Sisters join up with the Tau, which might be an improvement for the Sisters.)</s>{{BLAM}}{{BLAM|HERESY!}}
* Hrenian - Alien mercenaries employed for their skills as light infantry. No other information available. Probably [[Lizardmen#Skinks|Skinks]] In Space.
* Ji'atrix - A spacefaring race. No other information available. (Dammit, GW [[Writefag|writefags]].)
* [[Kroot]] - Predatory gene-assimilating avian humanoids. They are the first alien race to be actively recruited by the Tau as mercenaries, and are so regularly hired that they have officially progressed to being considered Auxiliaries of the Tau forces.
* [[Vespid|Mal'kor]] - Insectoid aliens, also known as Vespids, who are native to a gas giant planet within the Tau Empire. Serve as Auxiliaries.
* Morralian - Also known as "Deathsworn". No other information available.
* [[Nicassar]] - A voidfaring race of [[psyker]]s and the only psychically-gifted species in the Tau Empire. The Tau have carefully hidden them away from the Imperium due to their (actually justifiable) psyker-phobia. Were the second alien species to join the Greater Good.
* Ranghon - No information available.
* [[Tarellian]] - These guys are basically [[Lizardmen#Saurus|Saurus]] IIIIN SPAAAAACE!!!!!! Not really part of the Empire, but rather mercenaries who will gladly fight humans and Tyranids on the cheap since the Imperium virus-bombed their home world and the Tyranids nommed their biggest colony.
* Poctroon - The first sapient species to be found by the Tau, [[wikipedia:Siege of Fort Pitt|they were "accidentally" driven extinct by Tau smallpox]], and their planet just by coincidence was a great place to set a Sept World.
* Nagi - Brain worms that, due to their horrific appearance and inability to communicate, were attacked by the Fire Caste. They managed to sort it out, though, and now they work with the Ethereals as advisors (because having brain worms about as "advisors" isn't a bad idea or anything). They had shown in a few books so far, and were involved in a "mind-rip" (guess outright calling it "rape" was too much) of a space marine POW while being so self-righteous and smug about their mental superiority they could give Eldar a run for their money. Apparently they can also at least perceive the Warp (which they call "extra-dimensional space"), and probably manipulate it as well, and know enough about it to outright refuse to go anywhere near demonically-tainted Agrellan when Tau invaded it.
* Ji'atrices, Morralians, or Ranghons are probably other Warhammer Fantasy Races In Space, such as [[Lizardmen#Kroxigor|Kroxigors]] or Trolls, given the overall tendency of the Tau to incorporate Fantasy races missing from 40k.

The usually genocidal actions of the other races, most notably the [[Imperium]], also serve as a motivating factor for less-powerful races to join the Tau. While the Tau do seem a minor threat to the Imperium now, if the current policy continues, there will be more and more races joining up with the them if for no other reason than avoiding [[Exterminatus|extermination]]. Of course, the Tau are just coming to realize how vast and powerful the Imperium really is, and while a lot of their member races really ''are'' the victims of crazy, evil, fascist extermination protocols, there's always the chance that someone responsible for a "Hell World" or "Nightmare World" might join up, and the damage might be done before they realize their mistake...

==In a Nutshell==
;'''The Stated Reason Why People Hate Tau'''
Weeaboo space confuciunists (Asian Commies)—not grimdark enough.
;'''The ''Real'' Reason Why People Hate Tau'''
Until the edition update, this would, most assuredly, be [[Fish of Fury]]. Fuck, even most Tau players felt this was bullshit. Post-edition update, it was that certain [[Matt Ward|undesirables]] felt that they were trying to take the mantle of the 40K universe's "rightful" Imperial protagonists. And because they are not [[Choppa|choppy]] enough. And then 6th Edition codex came, and Tau became one of the shootiest armies in the shootiest edition ever, not to mention their ability to bitchslap cheesmongers, having straight counters against any of the Wardex bullshit. When the 7th edition came out they became overpowered AF and they took the title as the chedder cheese of Warhammer.
;'''A Real Reason Why People Like Tau'''
The one race that isn't being a wall of dicks. If the Tau are trolling done by Games Workshop, then the target of said trolling was any fatbeard that needs a constant supply of grimdark to stay alive. Of course, the mind-influencing pheromones they use to conquer new worlds and their psycho-indoctrination mass re-education facilities will just have to be ignored if you don't want destroy your wishful thinking for a half-way decent faction to exist in 40k. But people have always been good at ignoring shit.
;'''Another Real Reason Why People Like Tau'''
Unlike many other Races in 40k the Tau are capable of fitting into many other Sci-fi Universes without much Problems. Such as Star trek where they would be at home along side other Peaceful yet also Tyrannical Factions like the Federation. Compared to the Necrons or Eldar which would be both Roflstomps and completely different from all other groups in that Universe. (Unless it [[Doctor Who|Doctor Who]]).
;'''The Real Reason Why People Play Tau'''
Arguably have the most powerful guns in the game. Often twin-linked. Often on cool-looking robot battlesuits. [[meme|Also markerlights]]. Also [[Riptide|RAPETIDE]]. Tau players may also have a tendency towards sadism.
;'''A Solid Reason People Don't Play Tau'''
They're fucking expensive. Seriously. On a points-per-pound level, they cost more than any other (plastic) army. This is doubly true if you like battlesuits, but of course you do because you're playing Tau.
;'''Helping Necrons? Or are they Necrontyr descendants?'''
An often overlooked issue is that Tau have almost no warp signatures, just like Necrons, hate Warpspawns and Warp in general (despite the fact that in 6E they can work with them...I just...I don't...WAAAARD!!!), just like Necrons, have the exact same skull shape, stature and short lives, and the overwhelming need for Technology and beam weapons, JUST LIKE NECRONS. [[GW]] may have planned a race that simply prepares a pacified, multiracial galaxy for Necrons to feast upon, supported by Ethereals that have a C'tan phase blade. Then there is a reference of "dark seed in east" by the Deceiver, so the tricky C'tan might give Tzeentch the finger in the [[JUST AS PLANNED]] competition. Or maybe GW just has so little creativity that they simply made a new civ conforming to an Old One's standards without knowing it. Given that recent murmurs have suggested that something absolutely massive is in the works at GW, ''anything'' could be possible, though past experience has led us to believe that it will simply be a Tau wearing a silly [[hat]]. However, seeing as GW is as likely to advance the plot that far as I am to shove both my legs up my ass up to the knee, it doesn't much matter.

==TL;DR==
<s>The good guys</S>
High-tech alien race who are the ''least'' [[grimdark]] of factions. Can't melee for shit but can blow you back to the stone age with ranged weaponry if you have the misfortune of being downrange. You will either love them or hate them because of all this, and many neckbeards do feel the [[butthurt]]. Or, as the saying goes: "You can't spell TAUNT without TAU."

== Warhammer Fantasy ==
Unlike most other factions in 40k, Tau have no clear antecedent from [[Warhammer Fantasy]]. Some think the anime influences and rapid industrialization/militarization point towards Nippon; others feel the caste system might be related to the Kingdom of Ind. However, neither faction has ever been explored in great detail (or any detail at all), so it's impossible to say whether Tau are similar to those factions; instead, we must compare to the real-world equivalents of the Old World nations. Slightly more controversially, there are elements of Cathay (which is the Anglicized word for China back in the British Empire heyday, so yes) in the Tau. Cathay has been described as being technologically advanced (at least on par with the Empire), including terra-cotta automaton warriors (which the Chinese definitely used to make to pay homage to the First Chinese Emperor's over inflated ego, more than a millennia ago), although such comparison is stated by some to have [[Skub|already been implemented in the characterization of the Eldar and thus, is considered as ''seriously'' stretching up a notch.]]

More recently, some have connected the Tau and their subject races to other factions in Fantasy. The rapid evolution of the Kroot and their overall savagery is (somewhat) similar to the Gors of the Beastmen (although the Beastmen are in the 40k universe themselves). The Empire also shares the xenos-friendly viewpoint of the Tau, although they're not expansionistic, and decidedly less concerned with a unified government structure so long as everyone pays their taxes, for better or for worse. Others compare them to dwarves: dwarves don't use Chaos magic, are short, technologically advanced, kinda casty and blue (understood in many countries as "hopelessly drunk") basicly all the time. Tau don't use Chaos warp magic, are short, technologically advanced, very casty and blue all the time (in regards to skin colour). Both also get seriously grudgy and angry when you piss them off.

==Trivia==
[[File:Tau Ripoff.jpeg|thumb|right|300px|FOR THE [[Blood Ravens|GREATER THEFT]]!]]
* Some have said that Tau resemble the protagonist KYNE from the Amiga video game Brataccas, which was released in 1986. Tau were first added to Warhammer 40k in late 2001. Some would dismiss this as coincidence, but Games Workshop has a long history of ripping off designs from other games; [[Beastmen]] are [[Broo]] from [[Glorantha]], very large chunks of 40k are a little too similar to [[Judge Dredd]], and all of the Greater Daemon model designs are stolen from early [[Dungeons & Dragons]]. These properties are understandable as Games Workshop was still selling games of those IPs when Warhammer was first created, but Brataccas is an obscure game from a forgotten system that was quite forgettable even at release, even if Amiga games tended to get fantastic cover art. This being said another of GW's early products was also puzzles of of this style of '70's/'80's Sci-Fi art. The T'au cast system does resemble the Protoss caste from [[starcraft]], which presates the release of the Tau by 3 years... You have the Templar (Fire/Air Castes) Judicators (Ethereals + Water Castes) and Khalai (Earth Caste). In addition to a rogue sub-caste in the Dark Templar (Farsight Enclaves).
* Tau are technically canon to the Marvel Comics universe, as the series Venom: Space Knight repeatedly used Tau vehicles for aliens in the scenery. In fact, they have the balls to even keep the Tau Sept symbol! Also, you can see what appears to be a Eldar tank, as well as a Necron. The irony of the ripoff masters Games Workshop getting ripped off is juicy, even moreso when its realized that lawsuit-happy Games Workshop (who literally tried to copyright "pauldrons" while they plagiarized Eldar from Tolkien and had some contention between [[Malekith|two very similar Dark Elf characters of theirs]]) couldn't do shit about it because Marvel is owned by Disney, and nobody beats The Mouse™.

==Notable Tau==
===[[Canon]]===
*[[Aun'Shi]]
*[[El'Myamoto (Sub-commander Darkstrider)]]
*[[Shadowsun|O'Shaserra (Commander Shadowsun)]]
*[[Farsight|O'Shovah (Commander Farsight) and The Eight]]
*[[Commander Puretide]]
*[[Shas'o Kais]]
*[[Commander Or'es'Ka|Shas'o Or'es'Ka]]

===[[/tg/ 40,000]]===
*[[Blue]]
*[[Faptau]]
*[[O'ren I'shi'ii]]
*[[Shlicktau]]
*[[Xeno]]

==See Also==
[[File:Marvel Tau.jpg|thumb|right|250px|FOR THE GREATER GROOT!]]
* [[Nicassar]]
* [[Sept V'iet]]
* [[Tau Quest]]
* [[Warhammer 40,000: Fire Warrior]]
* [[Tau Dark Heresy]]
* [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Tau(8E)|Tactics/Tau]]
* [[Tau Cadre Creation Tables]]
* [[Codex_-_Tau_Auxiliary]]
* [[Tau Diplomacy]]
* [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|<strike>Love Can Bloom 3:Golden Shadowsun</strike> NON-CANON FANFICTION GARBAGE]]

==External Link==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrHhS5IkRR0 A Typical Tau-Human conversation.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbuPaCgdO50 Should one of your Tau actually kill anything tougher than a guardsman in melee, you are allowed to end the game in victory as long as you play this clip.]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Tau1.jpg|Stealth suits are :3
Image:Firewarrior.gif|Fire Warriors are :3 too
Image:Tau Chibi Fire Warrior.jpg|Chibi, but not weeby.
File:TauGuela.jpg|Gue'la.
Image:TauOrigin.jpg|Ohhh GW.
Image:Tau.gif|In 40k, everyones' guns are huge.
Image:Tau Fire Warrior.jpg|A Tau Fire Warrior, the basic infantry unit.
Image:Tau Firepower Demotivator.jpg|The sad truth of 6th edition.
Image:combine.jpg|In /tg/, tau are the bad guys.
Image:Itsyourempiretoo.png|Propaganda. [[Nazi|Sound]] [[Communism|familiar?]]
Image:Never shall the tau!.JPG|Surrender... never shall the Tau.
Image:Tauassault.jpg|Tau are vicious melee fighters, no less able than [[Space Marines]]!
Image:1234622525817.jpg|In hindsight, attempting negotiations with Orks was probably a bad idea.
Image:Tau Problem, Astartes.jpg|What's that? We're not grimdark enough for you, Neckbeard?
Image:Tau Sympathizer.jpg|The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer's entry on Tau players.
Image:Discotau.jpg|In spite of being filthy heretical xeno scum, the Tau can really break it down.
Image:Manta.jpg|Fun fact: if you have enough money to buy this, you have too much money.
Image:Tau cosplay2.jpg|Typical Tau player, engaging in typical Tau behavior. (Pretty badass cosplay, even got the hoof right)
Image:Tau Battlesuit vs Smurf.jpg|This Char Custom Battlesuit-clad Tau demonstrates his mastery of [[Weeaboo Fightan Magic]]. Also DYNAMIC ENTRY!
Image:E6abddad6c5999a1dbe6085d8614f051.jpg|Tau in close quarters combat barring some very lucky dice rolls.
</gallery></center>
{{Promotions}}
<center><gallery>
Image:TauKroot.jpg
Image:MARKERLIGHTS.png|MARKERLIGHTS!
Image:tau_firecleavage.jpg|Sweet [[Weeaboo|weeaboo]] [[Heresy|heresy]].
Image:Commissar Shadowsuns Goods by morganagod.jpg|DAT ASS.
Image:DAT_SHAS.jpg| A Fire Warrior appreciating DAT ASS.
Image:Tau ass.gif|A Greater Good we can all believe in.
Image:NOT FUCKING CANON.png| [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|THIS IS NOT FUCKING CANON!]]
Image:JoinTau.jpg|Some recruitment methodologies work better than others.
Image:Tau Chick.jpg|Few rarely seen Tau chicks. Maybe because Sisters are hotter.
Image:youtastefunny.jpg|Yeah, we all know the truth about their "greater good".
Image:Subcommander torchstar by sexual yeti-d9qal0l.png|Subcommander Torchstar, Farsight's personal fangirl.
Image:Tau_caste_nudes.jpg|Earth, Fire, Water, Air...Ethereal?!? SWEET MOTHER OF KHORNE!!! MY EYES!!!
Image:Laughing tau whores.jpg|S-shut up you filthy sluts! Among my people it is considered quite a handsome dick!
Image:Power Shopping.jpg|It's a well-known fact that the Tau Empire has some of the best shopping in the entire galaxy.
Image:Taugirlpile.jpg|Here we see Tau propaganda meant to entice men with their terrible, blasphemous, and supple soft skin, smooth curves, perky brea...er...ah...heretical alien bodies.
Image:TauHuman.jpg|Indeed, many humans have already embraced the Greater Good. (The individual with the primitive flashlight has been sent to re-education. Happiness is mandatory, Citizen.)
Image:greatertits.jpg|An attractive human female defector who for some reason has been equipped with a highly modified commander's battlesuit, perhaps as a devious ploy to compel desertion by the less loyal.
</gallery></center>

{{Tau}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}
{{40k-Governments}}

[[Category: Xenos]]

Goliath Truck

2017-10-19T02:01:56Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1:

[[File:Goliath-tanks-genestealer-cult.jpg|500px|right|thumb|Beep Beep! Emprah-Worshiping Corpse Fuckers! The Rape Train has no brakes!]]

''Not to be confused with the [[Goliath Mega-Cannon]], an equally hilarious super-heavy ordnance vehicle created by the [[Squats]]''

The Goliath Truck also known as the Lulz Mobile or the Hive Mind's Pimpin Ride is a new vehicle made for the new Codex: Genestealer Cult released in 2016. While the [[Genestealer Cult]] members themselves aren't known for being the most handsome of individuals, they are however, known to drive in style, which are themselves mining vehicles that have been re-purposed into crude transports. Why the Hive Mind only approves the use of this particular truck over any of the myriad others that can be found in the Imperium is anyone's guess.

The Goliath Truck seems to be the new 'Limo' created by the Cult to out-Ork the [[Orks]] in terms of looks, out-Guard the [[Imperial Guard|Guard]] in terms of guns placed everywhere, and comes with a wall grinder of a dozer blade (Rockgrinder exclusive) to turn anything in front of it into roadkill.

Goliath Trucks are rugged transports originally designed to bear Imperial factotums through crypt complexes and mining tunnels. The vehicle’s dense and robust construction makes it proof against the most hostile of underground environments, and its folded layers of chemically treated permasteel give it a measure of protection against every industrial hazard the Imperium has yet encountered.

Even an unmodified Goliath truck can survive acid storms, hurricanes, malfunctioning rad-chambers, and volatile toxin eruptions. Whilst the Genestealer cult lies quiet, its Goliaths are used in everything from subterranean transit to stockpiling munitions. The duraglass screens inside each vision slit can be raised to make the vehicles airtight – as useful for surviving the choking confines of a hazard mine as the poisonous atmosphere of battle.

==Goliath Rockgrinder==
[[File:GoliathRockgrinder.jpg|250px|right|thumb|Time to bring out the ''JUICE''!]]

The most common variant of the Goliath Truck is known as the Goliath Rockgrinder. Though compact like it regular old cousin, the Goliath Rockgrinder is built to withstand rockfalls, mud slides, malfunctioning mining equipment, controlled demolition explosions and the occasional dam bursts. The Goliath Rockgrinder is what happens when a Genestealer Cult saw gameplay from GTA V and thought that running over people down is a pretty swell idea.

The Rockgrinder, similarly to the normal Goliath, is armed with the fiery backwash of its Clearance Incinerator which is a massive, multi-chambered Heavy Flamer that is able to turn a landslide to molten slurry, a Heavy Seismic Cannon which as you can imagine, is a larger variant of the normal Seismic Cannon, or a Heavy Mining Laser which is the larger version of the regular Mining Laser.

Those huddled within have a great deal of protection from all but the highest-caliber weapons. The massive drilldozer blade at the Rockgrinder’s front boasts grinder arrays that can crack mineral seams and bore tunnels through bedrock. These are put to a far more sinister use in times of war, when it is used to [[FATAL|mulch through swathes of enemy infantry into a meaty smoothie mix]] (And would most likely made consumption of biomass ''so much'' easier once the main [[Hive Fleet]] appears) and serve as a battering ram against fortified walls.

Against a disciplined enemy, the instigators of the attack might soon find themselves surrounded and put down, and though the Rockgrinder has a thick hull, it cannot withstand concentrated heavy weapons fire for long. Still, these vehicles are well suited to shock-assault tactics.

==Overview==
[[Image:GScult-goliath2.jpg|300px|thumb|left|Side model of the Goliath.]]
For a kit-bashed truck, Goliath Trucks seem to be packed with the punch. For what counts as a civilian vehicle, the Goliath sports a twin-linked side-mounted Autocannon and a pintle-mounted heavy stubber. Additionally, Goliath Trucks can tag along several Genestealer Cult members so they can pimp out with bitches and hoes as well as tearing off a limb or two.

Essentially speaking, a Goliath Truck is like a beefed up [[Ork]] [[Trukk]] for just less than double the points, but with [[Awesome|more armour and bigger guns.]] Unfortunately you can't take Purestrain Genestealers or the Patriarch for ''some reason'' (Maybe they're too fat or big to fit in?). 8th edition baby, you can now.

There is also the '''Goliath Rockgrinder''' which is the Goliath Truck with the (in)famous Drilldozer Blade shoved up front (It is the giant snow shovel with the spinning metal of death in front). Slightly tougher than the Goliath Truck with 12/10/10 HP3. Can transport 6 dudes, but isn't open topped so they can't assault. Ignores crew stunned/shaken and immobilized results on a 4+ thanks to being built so sturdily for mining operations. Comes stock with a heavy mining laser (36" range lascannon) that can be replaced with a clearance incinerator or a heavy seismic cannon and a beefed up dozer blade in the Drilldozer Blade. As you can already tell, they're designed to ram other vehicles into oblivion and tank shock and hopefully turn enemy units into meaty chunks.

Goliath Trucks seem to be a intermediate vehicle between the stolen but heavily armoured and armed [[Leman Russ Battle Tank|Leman Russ Tanks]] to the more troop carrying but lightly armed [[Chimera|Chimeras]].

The utility of the Goliath also extends well beyond its use by the genestealer cults. Are you a Guard player, like to use the Taurox, but hate that ridiculous truck-tank model? Use a badass mining truck instead. With identical stats, armament, and transport capacity (which, upon further thought, we're not sure if that speaks well of the Goliath or badly for the Taurox, to be on the same level as a civilian vehicle), the Goliath was practically tailor made to be a perfect WYSIWYG replacement for the Taurox. And of course, the Goliath's status as a potential Ork trukk or battlewagon speaks entirely for itself. What self respecting Mek wouldn't leap at the opportunity to loot as many of these things as they could get their hands on? And with Goliaths supposedly used and readily available throughout the Imperium, there is plenty of opportunity. It's practically heresy not to include some in an Ork army.

==Alternative Modeling Options==
While the Goliath is more likely to be used to replace the Taurox, if you're the type that's a bit annoyed that Genestealer Cults have access to Chimeras, but ''not'' the armored trucks that the PDF units they'd be filching from would most likely have, then it could work the other way around as well. Just be sure to give it a wheeled or halftrack conversion.

Alternatively you could always Mad Max up some civilian vehicle models with some autocannons and armor and use those. Surely not every cult has access to mining or military vehicles after all.

{{Genestealer-Cult}}
{{40k-Imperial-Vehicles}}

Machine Spirit

2017-10-19T01:53:47Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1:

''"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."''

-Arthur C. Clarke

In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, everyone thinks machines have souls.

Even worse, they very well might be right (they do, actually, since everything is reflected into the Warp, but most people in and out of the setting do not realise it). Because that is just how messed up everything is in the big blackness of the grimdark future.

This isn't really that absurd a belief, considering how we tend to personify things like computers and cars - ascribing them personalities, habits and so on. The idea of Machine Spirits is what develops when you let this rampage unchecked by common sense among [[Adeptus Mechanicus|a technocratic & theocratic ruling class.]] However, what's important to know is that prior to humanity's downfall and the Dark Age of Technology, artificial intelligence was widespread in what was a typically utopian future. Given that the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] have a hard-on for hoarding ancient technology, it's not unreasonable to assume that particularly old and/or complex machines do in fact think for themselves. This turns into nightmare fuel when you realize that Mars is honeycombed with factories, warehouses and other facilities in varying states of disuse - facilities that were the battlegrounds between the loyal and [[Dark Mechanicus|heretical]] halves of the Mechanicus during the [[Horus Heresy]]. Hideous self-aware weapons of death may still stalk the lower levels, insane from 10,000 years of solitude. For the rest of the [[Imperium]], Machine Spirits are a reason to maintain machines and treat them with respect - from rituals of cleaning to appease a simple [[Lasgun]] to the complex rites performed to reawaken the demanding and temperamental machine spirits of [[Titans]].

There is also one other problem that one tends to forget--there actually ''are'' things called Machine Spirits. After the rebellion of the [[Men of Iron]] during the [[Age of Strife]], Artificial Intelligence was declared "Abominable Intelligence" by decree of the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor of Mankind]]. To get around this, human brains were recycled and placed into the more complex machines (such as Robots, and shipboard AIs) which would then process the more complex information and control systems under the direction of a human. Being recycled from dead humans, they're understandably pretty cantankerous. Plus there are several signs that some advanced equipment, such as Land Raiders, Titans, and various old spaceships, have actual inorganic A.I. (albeit with an extremely specific scope of intelligence) These machines remain in operation despite -and indeed, because of- the Mechanicus' inability to fully understand how they work.

It is also implied sometimes (depending on the source) that Machine Spirits may be more real than first thought. There are examples of weapons that have no power source still being able to fire ''themselves''. There was also at least one instance of a bunch of gears that were not connected to anything but each other (i.e. no motor) actually moving on their own after being ''talked to'' by a Tech-priest (maybe micro-motors? The Mechanicus is actually advanced). Or a gun that actually felt that it failed its master. Considering the Dark Age of Technology's feats, it is possible that dark age humans had successfully found a way to bend the warp into machines to give the machines their own "soul". This may also have helped cause the Iron War. After all, what does Chaos do with unprotected, unaware souls? Heh, yeah. Anyway, most "leftover" Machine Spirits tend to be a bit crazy, though, and using human brains merged with tech is safer because at least you know how the brain works. Hah, sort of.

In truth, and after checking most fluff material both from the Imperium's codices and Black Library novels you can find there is plenty of examples of Machine Spirits actively working along with Techpriests, Space Marines, Titan crews, etc, and they will show enough independence of thought to get mad if an enemy hurts their operators or know when to sacrifice themselves if there is no other way to get the task done.

Some authors imply that the existing machine spirits are actually the remaining "Men of Gold", the only true and relatively benevolent machine spirits. These machine spirits are not particularly fond of helping their human caretakers as they have little reason to despite being extremely powerful and having full knowledge of the object they inhabit. Tech-priests rarely interact with these passive aggressive mechanical individuals and have almost no memory of the event, even so these spirits often require a lot of convincing just to make the on/off switch work.

Another interpretation is the machine spirit is the Dark Age of Technology's equivalent to Siri. [[Standard Template Construct | STC]] technology was designed to be as inherently easy to use as possible, which would include making everything a smart device that could understand verbal commands. Not true AI, the smart devices could hear commands and try to orient themselves to do what their operator wanted, even if the right button wasn't being pushed. Now, keep in mind that the current Imperium is working on copies of copies of replicas of crudely reprinted versions of the original STC instructions (duplicated imperfectly by rote). There are still elements of the smart device listening and wanting to follow their human's commands, but they have a garbled understanding of vocabulary (or in another scenario, said human is speaking the incorrect language due to several thousand years of divergence). The Tech priests in turn have developed their rituals to be heard and understood by the machine spirits, unknowingly speaking keywords the device can try to decipher. In short, a Techpriest could be speaking instructions to Siri descendants in just about everything they do when it comes to tech.

There exists another possibility. Given how incredibly advanced humanity was, there could be micro-circuitry which, due to its sheer complexity, developed in such a way that it provided a sort of pseudo-brain for many pieces of technology in a sort of subconscious manner with a vague, general awareness. Techpriests might have discovered this on their own and found ways to interface and communicate with these semi-entities.

==See Also==

*[https://youtu.be/ZvmbKkmqbSM?t=2m21s How an actually caring Machine Spirit reacts whenever it feels its user is being threatened.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gash0294Mzw a much better example than the one above. Props for being much less Weaboo.]
*[https://youtu.be/G9FGgwCQ22w?t=132 How not to interface with a malfunctioning Machine spirit.]

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Gland War Veteran

2017-10-19T01:42:51Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1:

[[File:GlandWar.2.jpg|500px|right|thumb|What they will most likely look like. Roided up Tyranid Hunters.]]
Gland War Veterans (Called Glandies or Gland Warriors for short by some in [[/tg/]]) were a specialized, genetically modified force of [[Militarum Veteran Squad|Imperial Guard Veteran]] designed to battle the [[Tyranids]]. They are considered by the [[Mechanicus]] as a far more successful and stable compared to the [[Afriel Strain|Afriel Strains]].

==Origin & Development==
After the Forge World of Dantris III became heavily infested and polluted by Tyranid forces, under orders from radical Inquisitor-Lord Varius; the Techpriests of the planet modified several companies of the Lostock 23rd to fight in the hellish conditions.

They had many organs and drug-secreting glands implanted in their bodies so that they could survive unprotected in hazardous environments. New additions such as organs that would secrete stims, painkillers, and various medical drugs; more powerful natural air filters via a modified lung; enhanced bio-musculature structure for increased strength and reflexes. Their genetic tempering and augmentation has made them a distinct [[Abhuman]], although whether they can breed and successfully pass on their genetic coding and new augmented organs is unknown. Their combat abilities and aggressiveness were also further increased in order to deal with the myriad of threats from the varied Tyranid forces.

Heck, the Gland War Veterans were so successful and super-anal retentive that even the [[Hive Mind]] thought they were crazy as fuck. Despite the heavy losses the veterans took, they were able to ensure the successful defence of Dantis III. Only three Gland Warriors are believed to have survived, which were taken by the Inquisition for study and "debriefing".

At least one of them ended up in an Inquisitor's retinue so apparently "debriefing" doesn't always mean "dissected" or "killed with fire."

With that being said, the original pioneer for Glandies: Inquisitor-Lord Varius, has been placed under investigation by the [[Ordo Hereticus]] for exceeding his Inquisitorial mandate by intentionally sabotaging a Tyranid research facility, and then allowing the force sent to investigate to be suffer heavy losses and with the exception of the [[Red Scorpions]], be entirely wiped out just to demonstrate how powerful/intelligent the Tyranids could be (don't worry, he performed Exterminatus afterwards to wipe them out). The data on Gland Warriors is held as evidence of his own damnation, however while they've drawn it up, his death warrant remains unsigned because the Glandies are so useful to the Imperium (in effect, until the Tyranids are wiped out they're not going to do a thing to hinder him).

Gland War Veterans look almost indistinguishable from the average Human especially if he is in armour. Although they may be differentiated with increased muscle mass, heavier skeletal structure or a constantly heightened state of agitation or hyper-aggression.

However the augmentations that they recieve can often have drawbacks: The early Lostok Gland Warriors could push their bodies significantly higher in feats of endurance than normal humans, but occasionally were at constant risk of metabolic breakdown, other Glandies risked temporarily shorting out their secretion glands if they were overused, but without any fatal flaws. Thankfully later developments in the D-99 regiment had no drawbacks at all.

Later refinements to the Gland Warriors capabilities attempted to increase their effectiveness against other xenos breeds such as Orks, Tau or Eldar; but never had the same successes as those Gland Warriors sanctioned by Inquisitor Varius against the Tyranids. These new Glandies would always have some kind of drawback. They could increase muscle mass and aggressiveness at a cost of over calcifying their bones and joints making it difficult for them to move, or increase their levels of aggression to make it nearly impossible for them to follow complex orders in battle.

==Difference between Gland Warriors and Space Marines==
You may wonder what makes Glandies so different from Space Marines despite sharing what appears to be similar biological enhancements. The answer could be that Space Marines use artificial organs to help "augment" their body in new and interesting ways that are simply not possible without them. However, Space Marines are still considered Human due to very little genetic tempering and if you somehow removed those organs ''(without causing utter biological system failure to the patient)'' there would be little to differentiate between what was left and a regular human with a bad attitude.

On the other hand, Glandies are not only supplemented with new organs, but draw from a completely altered DNA strand that may completely alter the genetic make up of the original owner. However, in every incarnation of the rules, whether it be on the tabletop or in RPGs, Gland Warriors retain an ultimately "human" statline with only a few minor alterations; typically higher Weapon Skill and Initiative. This is because their biological upgrades are somewhat more subtle, with the actual "glands" of their Lostok Augmentations secreting drugs and hormones into their bloodstreams, increasing the strength and agility of their natural-born muscles and then filtering these chemicals before they become a drawback and cause the body to crash, while also making them resistant to many external chemicals and pathogens too.

With that being said, the procedures undertaken to become a Gland Warrior are not as time intensive as with an Astartes, who by necessity have to take their candidates at a very young age ''(usually between 8-12 years)'' and the process of implantation takes about a decade or more as the applicant passes through his Chapter's 10th company. By contrast; the surgeries that gland warriors get are considered: ''"somewhat short, it takes many months for the recipient to learn how to properly utilize their new biological additions"''. So that means that the Imperium can generate gland warrior super-soldiers much more quickly.

And that's not to say that Gland Warriors cannot be further augmented with any of a variety of commonplace military upgrades such as vat-grown muscle fibres, subdermal armour and minor cybernetic enhancements, because if you're going to the extent of [[Heresy|introducing foreign DNA to the human genome]], you might as well protect your investment.

==Stable Sub-Species==
While we may not have enough evidence of this in fluff, in order for the Glandies to become a sub-species of the mainstay Human, they must:
#have a different but stable DNA code
#have conditions that enable them to adapt to a particular scenario
#be able to procreate with their own kind and breed true.

For the Glandies, they were given special organs to better adapt in fighting Tyranids which is far more specialized than the average 'Jack-Of-All-Trades' [[gene-seed]] enhancements given to the Space Marines.

The high specialization and the complete overhaul to make these men more able to compete with a Tyranid organism would be enough to classify them as distinct from Humans. Furthermore, Gland Warriors have their DNA mixed with a Mechanicus improved DNA base which will be replicated through cell division. This further elevates the Glandies from conventional Humans and further differentiate themselves from the Astartes who do not directly undergo DNA tempering to their human genome, but have it swimming through their blood symbiotically.

The subject of being a stable "sub-species" is never really broached by GW, even though they usually lump Gland Warriors in to the "Abhuman" category along with other human strains like [[Ratlings]] and [[Ogryn]]s. This might be because GW failed at high school levels of biology ''(especially when they continually insist that Astartes are genetically modified)'' Having different and stable DNA is one thing; being able to procreate and pass on those genetic traits is another. Since most of the organs are surgically implanted rather than being grown within the body, it is uncertain whether a mommy and a daddy glandie could have a baby glandie or if they would produce a whole new type of human being with the genetic markers of a gland warrior, but without any of the implants.

What is known is that small communities of Gland Warriors ''do exist'' both within and without the Imperium, though the level of tolerance towards these communities appears to be the same as the tolerance of any other mutants or abhumans populations, for example, the '''Red Night Brotherhood''' was destroyed by the [[Ordo Hereticus]], while other warrior lodges seem to be the subject of speculation and little hard evidence.

In any case, "Official fluff" ''(i.e excluding FFG)'' puts their creation alongside the invasion of [[Hive Fleet Kraken]], which means that they are only a few decades old at best, so the Imperium might not have had enough time to properly categorize them, or for a sufficiently large population to arise before it actually becomes a cause for concern.

==On The Tabletop==
Due to their success, Gland War Veterans are getting increasing attention to the Imperial Guard and has been nagging the Mechanicus like a housewife to give them some of these augmented Abhumans.

The original [[Chapter Approved]] rules for them "upgrade" a guard infantry squad for 15 points to give them the ''Fleet'' special rule, however this came with the drawback where if you ever rolled a 6 on the fleet (run) move, you lost a model in the squad. Suffice to say this was shit.

If you want to field them today and be entirely legal, use the D-99 Army List in the Imperial Armour 4: The Anphelion Project, who are a further refined version of Gland Warriors after being inducted into the service of the Inquisition and used against Tyranids. Giving them all +1 WS and I, as well as ''Preferred Enemy (Tyranids)'' and ''Stubborn''. Though the army list could also be used to represent "experimental detachments" geno-enhanced to combat other xenos species at a risk of creating unstable gland warriors.

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/D-99(7E)]] - The Tyrannic War Veterans of Elysian 99th Regiment, gene-augmented and inducted into the Inquisition.

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]][[Category:Imperial Guard]]
{{Template:Imperium}}

Gland War Veteran

2017-10-19T01:39:18Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1: /* Origin & Development */

[[File:GlandWar.2.jpg|500px|right|thumb|What they will most likely look like. Roided up Tyranid Hunters.]]
Gland War Veterans (Called Glandies or Gland Warriors for short by some in [[/tg/]]) were a specialized, genetically modified force of [[Militarum Veteran Squad|Imperial Guard Veteran]] designed to battle the [[Tyranids]]. They are considered by the [[Mechanicus]] as a far more successful and stable compared to the [[Afriel Strain|Afriel Strains]].

==Origin & Development==
After the Forge World of Dantris III became heavily infested and polluted by Tyranid forces, under orders from radical Inquisitor-Lord Varius; the Techpriests of the planet modified several companies of the Lostock 23rd to fight in the hellish conditions.

They had many organs and drug-secreting glands implanted in their bodies so that they could survive unprotected in hazardous environments. New additions such as organs that would secrete stims, painkillers, and various medical drugs; more powerful natural air filters via a modified lung; enhanced bio-musculature structure for increased strength and reflexes. Their genetic tempering and augmentation has made them a distinct [[Abhuman]], although whether they can breed and successfully pass on their genetic coding and new augmented organs is unknown. Their combat abilities and aggressiveness were also further increased in order to deal with the myriad of threats from the varied Tyranid forces.

Heck, the Gland War Veterans was so successful and super-anal retentive that even the [[Hive Mind]] thought they were crazy as fuck and that; despite the heavy losses they took, was able to ensure the successful defence of Dantis III. Only three Gland Warriors are believed to have survived, which were taken by the Inquisition for study and "debriefing".

At least one of them ended up in an Inquisitor's retinue so apparently "debriefing" doesn't always mean "dissected" or "killed with fire."

With that being said, the original pioneer for Glandies: Inquisitor-Lord Varius, has been placed under investigation by the [[Ordo Hereticus]] for exceeding his Inquisitorial mandate by intentionally sabotaging a Tyranid research facility, and then allowing the force sent to investigate to be suffer heavy losses and with the exception of the [[Red Scorpions]], be entirely wiped out just to demonstrate how powerful/intelligent the Tyranids could be (don't worry, he performed Exterminatus afterwards to wipe them out). The data on Gland Warriors is held as evidence of his own damnation, however while they've drawn it up, his death warrant remains unsigned because the Glandies are so useful to the Imperium (in effect, until the Tyranids are wiped out they're not going to do a thing to hinder him).

Gland War Veterans look almost indistinguishable from the average Human especially if he is in armour. Although they may be differentiated with increased muscle mass, heavier skeletal structure or a constantly heightened state of agitation or hyper-aggression.

However the augmentations that they recieve can often have drawbacks: The early Lostok Gland Warriors could push their bodies significantly higher in feats of endurance than normal humans, but occasionally were at constant risk of metabolic breakdown, other Glandies risked temporarily shorting out their secretion glands if they were overused, but without any fatal flaws. Thankfully later developments in the D-99 regiment had no drawbacks at all.

Later refinements to the Gland Warriors capabilities attempted to increase their effectiveness against other xenos breeds such as Orks, Tau or Eldar; but never had the same successes as those Gland Warriors sanctioned by Inquisitor Varius against the Tyranids. These new Glandies would always have some kind of drawback. They could increase muscle mass and aggressiveness at a cost of over calcifying their bones and joints making it difficult for them to move, or increase their levels of aggression to make it nearly impossible for them to follow complex orders in battle.

==Difference between Gland Warriors and Space Marines==
You may wonder what makes Glandies so different from Space Marines despite sharing what appears to be similar biological enhancements. The answer could be that Space Marines use artificial organs to help "augment" their body in new and interesting ways that are simply not possible without them. However, Space Marines are still considered Human due to very little genetic tempering and if you somehow removed those organs ''(without causing utter biological system failure to the patient)'' there would be little to differentiate between what was left and a regular human with a bad attitude.

On the other hand, Glandies are not only supplemented with new organs, but draw from a completely altered DNA strand that may completely alter the genetic make up of the original owner. However, in every incarnation of the rules, whether it be on the tabletop or in RPGs, Gland Warriors retain an ultimately "human" statline with only a few minor alterations; typically higher Weapon Skill and Initiative. This is because their biological upgrades are somewhat more subtle, with the actual "glands" of their Lostok Augmentations secreting drugs and hormones into their bloodstreams, increasing the strength and agility of their natural-born muscles and then filtering these chemicals before they become a drawback and cause the body to crash, while also making them resistant to many external chemicals and pathogens too.

With that being said, the procedures undertaken to become a Gland Warrior are not as time intensive as with an Astartes, who by necessity have to take their candidates at a very young age ''(usually between 8-12 years)'' and the process of implantation takes about a decade or more as the applicant passes through his Chapter's 10th company. By contrast; the surgeries that gland warriors get are considered: ''"somewhat short, it takes many months for the recipient to learn how to properly utilize their new biological additions"''. So that means that the Imperium can generate gland warrior super-soldiers much more quickly.

And that's not to say that Gland Warriors cannot be further augmented with any of a variety of commonplace military upgrades such as vat-grown muscle fibres, subdermal armour and minor cybernetic enhancements, because if you're going to the extent of [[Heresy|introducing foreign DNA to the human genome]], you might as well protect your investment.

==Stable Sub-Species==
While we may not have enough evidence of this in fluff, in order for the Glandies to become a sub-species of the mainstay Human, they must:
#have a different but stable DNA code
#have conditions that enable them to adapt to a particular scenario
#be able to procreate with their own kind and breed true.

For the Glandies, they were given special organs to better adapt in fighting Tyranids which is far more specialized than the average 'Jack-Of-All-Trades' [[gene-seed]] enhancements given to the Space Marines.

The high specialization and the complete overhaul to make these men more able to compete with a Tyranid organism would be enough to classify them as distinct from Humans. Furthermore, Gland Warriors have their DNA mixed with a Mechanicus improved DNA base which will be replicated through cell division. This further elevates the Glandies from conventional Humans and further differentiate themselves from the Astartes who do not directly undergo DNA tempering to their human genome, but have it swimming through their blood symbiotically.

The subject of being a stable "sub-species" is never really broached by GW, even though they usually lump Gland Warriors in to the "Abhuman" category along with other human strains like [[Ratlings]] and [[Ogryn]]s. This might be because GW failed at high school levels of biology ''(especially when they continually insist that Astartes are genetically modified)'' Having different and stable DNA is one thing; being able to procreate and pass on those genetic traits is another. Since most of the organs are surgically implanted rather than being grown within the body, it is uncertain whether a mommy and a daddy glandie could have a baby glandie or if they would produce a whole new type of human being with the genetic markers of a gland warrior, but without any of the implants.

What is known is that small communities of Gland Warriors ''do exist'' both within and without the Imperium, though the level of tolerance towards these communities appears to be the same as the tolerance of any other mutants or abhumans populations, for example, the '''Red Night Brotherhood''' was destroyed by the [[Ordo Hereticus]], while other warrior lodges seem to be the subject of speculation and little hard evidence.

In any case, "Official fluff" ''(i.e excluding FFG)'' puts their creation alongside the invasion of [[Hive Fleet Kraken]], which means that they are only a few decades old at best, so the Imperium might not have had enough time to properly categorize them, or for a sufficiently large population to arise before it actually becomes a cause for concern.

==On The Tabletop==
Due to their success, Gland War Veterans are getting increasing attention to the Imperial Guard and has been nagging the Mechanicus like a housewife to give them some of these augmented Abhumans.

The original [[Chapter Approved]] rules for them "upgrade" a guard infantry squad for 15 points to give them the ''Fleet'' special rule, however this came with the drawback where if you ever rolled a 6 on the fleet (run) move, you lost a model in the squad. Suffice to say this was shit.

If you want to field them today and be entirely legal, use the D-99 Army List in the Imperial Armour 4: The Anphelion Project, who are a further refined version of Gland Warriors after being inducted into the service of the Inquisition and used against Tyranids. Giving them all +1 WS and I, as well as ''Preferred Enemy (Tyranids)'' and ''Stubborn''. Though the army list could also be used to represent "experimental detachments" geno-enhanced to combat other xenos species at a risk of creating unstable gland warriors.

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/D-99(7E)]] - The Tyrannic War Veterans of Elysian 99th Regiment, gene-augmented and inducted into the Inquisition.

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]][[Category:Imperial Guard]]
{{Template:Imperium}}

Legio Cybernetica

2017-10-19T01:19:58Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1: /* Scyllax-class robot */

[[File:Castellan_class_robots_painted.jpg|thumb|right|FW models for the Castellan class Robot]]
[[File:Thanatar9.jpg|thumb|left|The Robotic Matryoshka Dolls.]]
The '''Legio Cybernetica''' were a part of 40K's first and second editions, before the escalation of [[grimdark]] in 3rd Edition made tech-heresy a thing (also, their rules required essentially mapping out their actual programming with logic gates, which was theoretically awesome but practically kind of a pain in the ass). Armies of these thinking war-robots have been fighting alongside the Marines and the Army since the Great Crusade, but without direct command and programming were completely useless.

Some of these robots were rewarded for their service by being made honorary members of the Legions they served with. Incarnadine, a Cybernetica robot was even called "brother" by fellow Word Bearers and started develop glitches in it's system that hinted on it evolving a <s>conscience</s> [[Daemon]]. During the [[Horus Heresy]], [[Horus]] swayed Kelbor-Hal, the Fabricator-General of [[Mars]] (and therefore the ultimate commander of Mechanicum forces) over to his side along with nearly the entire Legio Cybernetica. When the [[Emperor]] won his Pyrrhic battle against Horus, the surviving [[Dark Mechanicus|traitor Mechanicum]] forces fled to the [[Eye of Terror]], where they presumably hide to the 'present day' of the 41st millennium. The Black Legion presumably has heaps of them guarding the ''[[Vengeful Spirit]]'', as founding member [[Iskandar Khayon]] spent centuries after the Heresy hiring his services out for robots. Some cohorts of the Legio Cybernetica remained loyal to the Imperium (as well as Space Marine Legions and Forge World Taghmata, they also served in the auxilary forces of Titan Legions), but their numbers were minimal, and they were forced to swear binding oaths more terrible than the Space Marines. Yet as of 41st Millenium, the Tech-Priests of the Legio have regained their former glory and (most) of the lost trust.

While thrown out the proverbial airlock since 3rd edition, the Legio Cybernetica have made a comeback in the [[Forge World]]'s ''Horus Heresy'' series (and in Lords of Mars) and in regular 40k! Seriously, look at their store! It looks like the Legio is finally about to return to the 41st millenium, thanks to in Imperial Armour 16. At the November 2016 Weekender the author confirmed Automata such as the mighty Thanatar will soon be handing out cortex controlled carnage To the Tau and other enemies of the Imperium.

==Robot types==

==='''Castellan-class robot'''===
[[File:CastellaxBA.jpg|150px|right|thumb|A <s>Castellan</s> <s>Kastelan</s> Castellax robot.]]
An assault robot designed for anti-tank and siege work. The Castellan is an assault Robot useful for a wide range of battlefield roles. Its twin power fists and heavy bolter give it a dangerous punch, protected by a power field/synchroniser unit. It can substitute its heavy bolter for a lascannon, melta gun or third power fist, while the standard fists can be replaced with a Siege Hammer, autocannons and flamer.
*In Heresy-era 30k and first to get a Forgeworld model, but for some reason called the '''Castellax''', mounting a Mauler-pattern Bolt Cannon on the shoulder which can be replaced with a multi-melta or a Darkfire Cannon (essentially a <s>somewhat weaker Lascannon</s> Long Range Plasma Rifle with Lance that blinds enemies that it hits) and coming with a choice of hand weapons.
*In 40k we have the '''Kastelan''' which superficially looks similar to the Castellax, being a somewhat rounded, robotic, monstrous creature type with a shoulder mounted weapon and a pair of power fists that can be replaced with twin-linked phosphor blasters. Though these ones can replace the fists for moar guns. Unlike the 30k version they are less autonomous and operate under "Battle Protocols" which are determined by a specialist tech-priest called Datasmith, but if the priest ever goes missing then the robots just follow the most recent protocol issued to them, which can cause them to stand still and shoot, or to forget they have guns.

==='''Scyllax-class robot'''===
[[File:Scyllax.jpg|130px|left|thumb|The Scyllax robot.]]
A robot prized far beyond the servo-automata form which they were developed using ancient secrets uncovered during the Great Crusade, the Scyllax acts as both an elite shock troops or the bodyguards of Magos overseers. Though there are some factions within the Adeptus Mechanicus who will have no truck with the Scyllax, claiming sinister provenance for its design, and that the automata gain a subtle and dangerous self-awareness over time.

No larger than an armored man, the Scyllax Guardian-automata demonstrates formidable power in a more compact frame. Their armored carapaces are as durable as Adeptus Astartes battle plate (sort of... [[FAIL|except not, it has 4+]]), and house instead powerful electro-thermic reactors and banks of lucid cogitator-stacks that process a storm of battlefield analysis engrams and protective tech-incantations; which is so potent that some has proclaimed it as bordering on [[Heresy|tech-heresy.]] They are also radioactive to the point nearby soldiers start dying - [[Grimdark|be they the enemy's or not]].

They also have been adapted with a wide variety of mechadendrites and servo-arms for dissecting living matter as well as a ranged weapon such as a Bolter. An interesting thing about the Scyllax is that these robots were neither true Battle Automata due to their absence of a cybernetica-cortex nor could they be classified as a Servitor due to having nearly no organic components. They look and slither around like mechanical snakes; essentially the Mechanicum version of a [[Necron]] [[Canoptek Wraith]] (they are really just GW's take on the killer robots from the Matrix, but they think just because its been a few years nobody will notice).

==='''Cataphract-class robot'''===
[[File:Cataphracts.jpg|160px|right|thumb|The general purpose Cataphracts.]]
A general purpose combat robot, popular for its resilience and adaptability. The Cataphract-class robot is a heavily-armoured general-purpose battle robot designed for use in almost all combat environments and situations.

This versatility in a wide range of battlefield roles makes this war engine a highly-deployable and popular machine among the Legio Cybernetica's cohorts. Cataphracts are armed and can mount a variety of weapons for various purposes, the most common being one Lascannon above its chassis and a Bolter mounted on one arm and one Flamer mounted on the other. They and protected by a power field/synchroniser unit. Its versatility makes it popular Robot to deploy, although some commanders regard it as a jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none. It can substitute its weapons for an autocannon, Siege Hammer, heavy bolter and power fist.

The name Cataphract came from a form of armored heavy cavalry used in ancient warfare by a number of peoples in Western Eurasia and the Eurasian Steppe. These were the guys in heavy scale or chain armor that covered the horsies in even MOAR scale or chain armor. The Cataphract robots was named due to its relatively quick and versatile combat role that is able to provide a modest amount of heavy firepower on the battlefield whilst supporting its allies.

==='''Colossus-class robot'''===
[[File:99590102250_IronCircleDomitarFerrumColossusAutomata01.jpg|150px|left|thumb|The '''Domitar-Ferrum''', son of the Colossus and the Domitar's brother.]]
[[/co/|HULK SMASH!: The Robot.]] A siege robot given a Siege-hammer for smashing down walls, though it is equally useful squashing opponents. Other armaments include a boltgun mounted on its other arm appendage for use against defending troops. The Siege Hammer can also be used in close combat situations. It also possesses a chassis-mounted Multi-Melta for additional firepower and anti-vehicular damage. Protected by a power field/synchroniser unit, its weaponry can be replaced with autocannons, heavy bolters, and power fists, allowing for a number of combinations.

The Colossus is often employed by the Imperial Guard as a cheap alternative to the use of heavy artillery. A few Colossus-class robots are maintained by the Ordo Reductor of the Adeptus Mechanicus, mainly for testing new and experimental siege weaponry.

*The '''Domitar-Ferrum''' class robots is often called as the spiritual successor of the Colossus whom [[Perturabo]] made into personal bodyguards called the Iron Circle. The Domitar-Ferrum is also the larger, more heavily armored brother of the Domitars. They are often armed with a giant Karceri Battle Shield, a big FUCK OFF Graviton Maul, and Olympia Bolt Cannon. They were formed after Ol'Perty's own personal flagship was boarded by enemy raiders. Judging the gross embarrassment in the [[Fail|failures]] of his [[Iron Warriors|own sons]], Perturabo decided that robots was just plain better and made the Domitar-Ferrum by combining the existing Domitar and Conqueror robots and building them upon the blueprints and templates of the outdated Colossus robot.

==='''Conqueror-class robot'''===
[[File:Domitar.jpg|140px|right|thumb|The Domitar robots.]]
An anti-vehicle robot, which specializes in taking down armored vehicles and [[Dreadnought]] analogs. Conquerors are protected by heavy armour and a power field/synchorniser unit, as mentioned the Conqueror is particularly adept at taking out armoured vehicles and Dreadnoughts. Standard armament is a heavy bolter, autocannon and power fist, which can be swapped for lascannons, flamers, melta guns and bolter, as well as doubling up on any one. Now also with no less than two FW versions (for some reason called the Domitar and Arlatax respectively), the former has twin gravitational hammers for smashing shit, while the latter is a Robot with a Jump Pack.
* The '''Domitar''' can be called as a more advanced and larger version of the Castellan, the Domitar was also swifter, designed to cross the open battlefield at blistering speeds. Other than its sheer bulk which is in itself a weapon, the Domitar is armed with gravitational hammers that can crush tanks and dreadnoughts into smaller [[METAL BAWKSES|METAL BAWKSES]] and a missile launcher if it can't get close enough. It was the last type of war robot to enter Mechanicum production before the [[Horus Heresy]], the Domitar was a variant of the sophisticated ancient Conqueror Class Robot. A variant of the Domitar-Class Robot, the Domitar-Ferrum class, was used by [[Perturabo|Ol'Pert]] as his Iron Circle honor guard following the Battle of Phall.

==='''Crusader-class robot'''===
[[File:AM-Vorax8.jpg|160px|left|thumb|<s>The Preying Mantis</s> Vorax automatas ready to harvest.]]
An anti-personnel robot, Crusaders are fast on their feet (servos?) and can easily take down multiple opponents. It's basically the Flash with power swords in place of arms. Scary. It also has a chassis-mounted Lascannon for making new doors so it can slaughter a building's occupants. The latest to get rules from FW (for some reason called the Vorax), with a Lightning Gun in place of the Lascannon and arm mounted Rotor Cannons.
*The '''Vorax''' is a hunter-killer robot descended from the aforementioned Crusader that, like the Crusader beforehand looks more like an insect more than anything else. Created on pre-Imperial Mars to search and destroy Mutants and rogue machines, their cybernetica cortex engrams are known to be particularly predatory and vicious examples of their kind. Such are the vicious instincts inherent in their programming that they are wired with numerous override cantos to prevent these tireless hunting machines from devolving into renegades. They fulfill the roles both of search and destroy weapon and exterminator of rogue machines and mutants. Armed with a pair of rotor cannon and a lightning gun for range combat and power blades for CQC. At times they are also dispatched by their masters to conduct a cull of surplus population during famine or plague, their hunts only ending when their masters orders. [[Eldrad|What dicks they are.]] As such they are held in superstitious dread by the human indentured laborers of the Mechanicum's worlds.

==='''Thanatar-class robot'''===
[[File:ThanatarRobot.jpg|150px|right|thumb|The Thanatar. For when you need the Biggest Robot in the room.]]
A giant monstrous walking engine of death, the Thanatar is the size of an Tau Riptide, and comes with a twin linked Mauler Bolt Cannon, a massive Hellex Plasma Mortar or Sollex-pattern heavy Lascannon, as well as a Graviton Ram. The Thanatar's frame, built to accommodate the huge weapon and its power system, is considerably larger than even the bulking Castellax. Its frame is also heavily reinforced, both to withstand the recoil of firing its weapons and protect it from incoming attacks. Its armor makes it essentially impervious to small arms attacks no matter how advanced. Due to the enormous power required to power its colossal weapons, the Thanatar was considerably larger than other Battle-Automata. Unlike many of the models produced for the Legio Cybernetica, the origins of the Thanatar pattern robot remain unclear. Save that its Hellex Plasma Mortar is only produced on the Forge World of Ryza. There are two variants of the Thanator.
*The first is the '''Thanatar-Cynis Class''' which was a variant of the standard Thanatar-Calix class designed by the Forge World of Estaban III with an attempt to increase their power and standing within the greater Mechanicum. However due to their competition with Ryza, Estaban III was unable to acquire their plasma technology, resulting in the Cynis pattern of Thanatar being more prone to [[Fail|self-destruction]] despite its fierce power.
*The second is the '''Thanatar-Calix Class'''. The Calix-Class was a variant of the standard Thanatar design developed during the later part of the Great Crusade. Rumored to have been developed by the Sollex Myrmidon and Omega-Shevar covenants of the Ordo Reductor alongside the Legio Cybernetica, this design combines deadly tech-arcana from all three factions into a single deadly weapon. Calix Class Thanatar's are geared towards the vanguard of siege assault warfare, able to sunder the strongest fortifications and conduct targeted strikes to neutralize defensive hardpoints. Its primary weapon was its Sollex Heavy Lascannon, and so precious were these engines that in the rare cases they were deployed many other lesser battle-automata were fielded to protect them.

==='''Vultarax stratos-automata'''===
[[File:Vultarax.jpg|150px|left|thumb|The Vultarax. No, we aren't related to Papa Nurgle, we swear on our metallic appendages.]]
The Vultarax is the only confirmed flying robot within the Legio Cybernatica. You may ask yourself, "Hey wait on the vox for a minute. [[Pretend|They look suspiciously familiar...]] Where have I seen these before?". Well, the answer is that they are essentially the non-daemonifed version of [[Nurgle|Nurgle's]] [[Blight Drone|Blight Drones]]. If you find yourself asking "Why would the Mechanicum copy a daemon engine?" you've got it backwards. These are 30k designs that predate the Horus Heresy, then the Dark Mechanicum nicked the designs to make Blight Drones.

Anyways, the Vultarax was by far the most common Stratos-automata in widespread use by the Mechanicum at the outbreak of the wars of the [[Horus Heresy]]. A robust, multi-role war engine, heavily armed and fitted with sophisticated sensory gear and able to operate in diverse and hostile environments, it proved itself a keystone of Mechanicum Explorator Expedition forces both as an armed, high mobility scout and as a hunter-killer and rapid response unit in open battle.

The Vultarax Stratos-automata is a Flying Monstrous Creature armed with a Vultarax arc blaster, a versatile weapon capable of burning out the cogitators and engines of enemy vehicles, and two Setheno pattern havoc launchers, long ranged missile systems designed to wipe out infantry units, even in heavy cover. These armaments, alongside its impressive armour, flare shield, and enhanced targeting array, make the Vultarax Stratos-automata a formidable force on the battlefield.

== See also: ==
* http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Legio_Cybernetica - Lexicanum's article on the Legio Cybernetica.
* http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Legio_Cybernetica - The 40K Wikia's article on the Legio Cybernetica.
* http://www.angelfire.com/mech/ironclad/ArapRobots.pdf - rOOOLES
* http://solegends.com/citrt/rt108robots.htm Pictures
* http://mordian7th.blogspot.com/2011/05/adeptus-mechanicus-legio-cybernetica.html Newly painted.
* http://www.scribd.com/doc/221368614/White-Dwarf-104-UK-August-1988 White Dorf 1Oh4 with Squats! Trike! Robots! Weird pictures of treeman!
* http://www.scribd.com/doc/67798052/White-Dwarf-104 Backup

{{Template:Mechanicus}}
{{Imperium}}

[[Category:Adeptus Mechanicus]]

Warp Weapons

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In [[Warhammer 40,000]], there are few things more dangerous to life in the galaxy than the [[Warp]]. Especially when it's weaponized. Some of the deadliest weapons in existence, Warp Weapons are devices capable of using the warp to deal tremendous damage to any target presented with.

==Imperial Variants==
'''Vortex Weapons''' come in two variations: grenades that can open holes in realspace and the Vortex Missile which is mounted on either a [[Deathstrike Missile Launcher]] or [[Reaver Battle Titan|Reaver]]/[[Warlord Battle Titan|Warlord]] Battle Titans and can hatefuck massive holes in reality in a single strike. A non-standard Vortex Weapon is [[Hero of the Imperium|Dominus Astra]], an Emperor Class Battleship, which when strategically located and having its warp drive detonated is capable of destroying almost all of [[Hive Fleet Behemoth]].

{{Template:40k-Imperial-Weapons}}

==Xenos Variants==
===Eldar===
Though Warp weapons are considered taboo in Eldar society for their unnerving effects, Eldar military forces always seem to find that they don't really give a good goddamn when it comes to defending the [[craftworld]]s, and as such, make use of more Warp weapons than anyone else in 40k.
====Wraithcannon====
Carried by [[Eldar]] [[Wraithguard]] and a certain variant of grav-tank, these guns are just like the Imperial Vortex weapon in that they open a portal and drag anything near it to the warp. There's also the Heavy Wraithcannon, which has triple the range, and is the basic weapon of the Wraithknight.

====D-Scythe====
A variant on the Wraithcannon that is dispersed instead of focused, so it can hit more enemies at once but does less damage. There is once again a heavier variant called the Heavy D-Scythe that's mounted on the Hemlock Wraithfighter.

====D-cannon====
A larger version of the Wraithcannon mounted on a special artillery platform, the D-Cannon can collapse realspace in a small area and suck in all unlucky sods that stood too close to the hole. [[Meme|You want it.]]

{{40k-Eldar-Weapons}}

===Orks===
====Shokk Attack Gun====
The Shokk Attack Gun is one of the only [[Ork]]-portable weapons that force the wielder to stay still while firing. It opens a conduit through the Warp to the target and shoves the ammunition through it. Orks like to use [[Snotling]]s for this; because they travel through the Warp unprotected, they get scared out of their minds by the [[daemon]]s, and when they come out, they usually [[rip and tear]] their way through anything in front of them. It's crazily unpredictable though. It can do anything from [[FAIL|killing everything within D6" of the Big Mek, including the Mek himself]] or [[Awesome|rolling double six and utterly destroying anything under the template.]]

===Hrud===
====Warp Fusil====
The [[Hrud]] use a type of warp-laced plasma to create a potent sniper weapon called the Warp Fusil. The plasma shot dematerializes from real space for a moment, allowing it to bypass barriers and armour, before emerging into reality a moment later and making a gooey, charred mess of whatever was aimed at. Because Hrud infest everywhere and their warp fusils are excellent at assassinating things, they see use among many alien and imperial mercenaries.

===Kinebrach ===
The Kinebrach used to make weapons at least some of which required interaction with the Warp or Warp entities during their creation. Some of the weapons were [[Cubes]]. The production of many, if not all of their weaponry was later considered forbidden. The [[Interex]] showed these weapons to the Imperium, despite suspecting the Imperium being tainted by Kaos (their word for [[Chaos]]). This may have been a test to see if they were actually tainted by Kaos, an attempt to impress the militaristic Imperium, or both.

==Old Ones Variants==
During the [[War in Heaven]], the Old Ones discovered that the [[C'Tan]] and their [[Necron]] armies were vulnerable against psychic forces. To capitalize on this weakness, they had the ''brilliant'' idea of [[FAIL|weaponizing the Warp]], thus turning it into the twisted shit-pit it is now. Of particular note is the Shadowlight, believed to be the power source of some larger assembly. The power source alone is capable of making psykers more powerful, latent psykers become psykers, and anyone else dies a gruesome death upon unprotected exposure to it (although psykers, latent or otherwise, might also suffer said gruesome death). According to a psyker inquisitor, if Chaos got their hands on it, there would be a lot of unsanctioned psykers running around (duh), and without the Emperor's protection they would get possessed, and within 2 generations the Eye of Terror would expand so large that it would engulf the entire Imperium. It is suspected that the assembly "can alter the very fabric of reality". This suspicion proved correct, as later it opened a portal to the warp, and a daemon came out. The assembly's intended purpose is unknown, but it is suspected to be designed to somehow help the old ones in the war against the C'Tan.

===Blackstone Fortress===

Each of these weapons was a star fortress equipped with main guns that made the [[Star Wars|Death Star]] look like a fucking pea shooter. Drawing upon the [[warp]] and channeling staggering amounts of power, they fired beams of pure psychic energy that caused anything in their path to suffer critical existence failure. These things were anti-'''star''' weapons! During the [[Battlefleet Gothic|Gothic war]], [[Abaddon]] used three ''partially'' re-activated Fortresses to destroy the entire Tarantis system by blowing the local sun a new asshole, causing it to go supernova. Quite characteristically, Abaddon still manages to lose the war with such powerful weapons.

Somehow, the [[Void Dragon]] survived a combined blast from multiple of these things and all it did was make him a bit drowsy. WOW. Then the Big E kicked him in the balls. Which gives you a pretty good idea of how shit of an idea it is to piss off the emprah. Except the Emperor fought only a mere shard of the Void Dragon, not the fully-formed C'Tan, which is literally a god, as powerful in the material realm as the Chaos Gods are in the Warp.

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]][[Category:Chaos]][[Category:Eldar]][[Category:Orks]]

Autogun

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[[File:Autogun4.jpg|350px|thumb|right|Note the [[C.S. Goto|heretical sorcery]] shrinking its capacity to below an [[Bolter#Astartes Boltguns|Astartes bolter]]]]An '''Autogun''' is a [[firearm|chemically-powered projectile throwing weapon]] (a slug thrower, durr), that can be compared to late 20th to early 21st century fire arms, though it is (probably) slightly more powerful, which is why it avoids the title of [[Stubber]] (which have basically no improvements on World War II firearms) which are even worse than [[lasgun|lasguns]] (there is not a single part of a suit of flak armor that a rifle sized Stubber can pierce at any range according to some sources, even though WWII Rifles were pretty powerful) Alternatively, since stubpistols are more powerful than autopistols, it's possible the difference has more to do with calibre and/or tech level. Simply put these weapons use a propellant to accelerate a metal projectile to punch holes in things. It is a significantly older weapon than the Lasgun, and does not see quite as much use due to the [[Administratum|Departmento Munitorium.]] So if a young and often curious Guardsmen tries and ask his superiors, mostly a Commissar (Yes, reasonable Commissars do exist) on why a Lasgun is preferred over an Autogun by Imperial Standards, they will tell you a whole list of things such as the following...Lasgun Power Packs weigh significantly less than Autogun magazines and are far more sustainable (rechargeable via heat, light, or wall outlet), Lasguns are also significantly more accurate and require notably less maintenance than Autoguns, and have no recoil, meaning even the 8-year-old baby-faced kids and 98-year-old dusty seniors that has been recruited from the Imperial Guard can fire it straight. So a big reason that Autoguns were phased out was a matter of practicality, but there is one thing the Autogun has that the humble Lasgun doesn't, it is the amount of different types of ammunition you can carry, from Incendiary to AP rounds and even HE rounds that makes the Autogun a ''[[Awesome|miniature]] [[Bolter]]''. This means that while the Lasguns are used as the more common assault weapon, the vast variations of the different ammunition makes the Autogun a ''tactical weapon'' in some sense of form. Though /tg/ rather enjoys musing that the main reason was cost (all that [[grimdark]] spent ammunition came from somewhere, after all). In spite of the ammunition problem, the Autogun still sees use throughout the Imperium (particularly among PDF forces, as they do not have the overwhelmingly massive logistical issues the Imperial Guard does), and its removal from large parts of official service hasn't stopped its development. There is [[Skub|significant debate]] over the actual power of Auto and Stub weapons, with the "high power" team citing higher tech level and advanced materials, and "modern power" team citing no mention of any kind of recoil compensator (limiting power), and less innovative designs. Meaning some or even most autoguns may actually be be less advanced than modern firearms. After all our modern cannon rounds are definitely more advanced, and autoguns are meant to be built on all sorts of backwater worlds. 
And it is well possible that both sides are right, since, strictly speaking, an Imperial autogun is generally any type of automatic rifle, firing solid slugs accelerated by combustion of gunpowder charge. As such, there are great many models and patterns in existence, different in both internal mechanics of their action and the ammunition they use. It means that while some autoguns are backwater-colonies locally designed crude weapons, using blackpowder-filled cartridges and prone to jamming, the other autoguns may be high-tech products of AdMech factories, firing hypervelocity discarding-sabot needle-bullets, capable of easily punching through carapace armour.

[[Tl;dr]], if the Lasgun is called a 'Flashlight' then the Autogun is called a 'Stapler'.

== Variants ==
===Autopistol===
[[File:Autopistol.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Autopistol]]
Most often a machine pistol or submachine gun, the Autopistol is a single-handed submachine gun (called the <s>Uzi</s> Autopistol) which is frequently used by Chaos heretics (and on occasion, traitor guardsmen) and cultists who don't particularly care about accuracy or expenses and wish to be able to make noise and cause death at a close distance (the former is done better by an Autogun than a Lasgun) as they close in to use their swords. Quite fittingly, many of the autopistols manufactured by the Imperium are based off the MAC-10/MAC-11 weapon series.

Autopistols are still in massive use throughout the Imperium and can be found even on low-tech worlds. Like the larger Autogun it is a very easy to construct and usually available in large numbers. The autopistol is a common weapon amongst renegades, gang members, and lowly criminals, being as easy to use as it is to construct. They are not generally considered a military issue weapon, but are a favorite amongst many military veterans as a supplement for their standard lasgun or as a backup weapon, especially by the ones using unreliable melta- or plasma-weaponry. Some regiments, including the Cadian 8th, often equip all their troops with autopistols as sidearms, improving their combat firepower. Other commanders allow their troops to acquire spoils from the battlefield for their own use and autopistols are popular choices.

===Autogun===
[[File:Autogun.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Autogun]]
There are dozens of other Autogun models that have been created since, including more-advanced versions that use caseless ammunition. One common variety is an assault-rifle sized version formerly used by Imperial Guard regiments, known as the Agipinaa Type-II pattern Autogun (the one specifically noted to achieve stopping power on par with modern Imperial Guard-issue [[lasgun]]s). While rather heavy at 6,2 kg (with loaded magazine), this gun fires powerful (but having somewhat heavy recoil) 8,25mm caliber rounds, accelerated to muzzle velocitiy of 825 meters per second while traveling through the autogun's 540mm (21,25 inches) long barrel. 
Autoguns are commonly employed by pirates, rebel groups, [[Cultist|Chaos cultists]], [[Death_Korps_of_Krieg|Kriegers]], [[Planetary Defense Force]]s, [[Necromunda|Hive Gangers]], [[Adeptus Arbites]] and low-tech civilisations that are too underdeveloped to create even a simple Lasgun, which puts into perspective just how poor these people are. (Hey, that includes us...) On the Tabletop, they're basically [[Rule 63]] versions of lasguns, with the same exact specs.

In [[Warhammer 40,000: Fire Warrior]], the Stormtroopers used by the Guard detachment on-planet uses Autoguns that have been given special armor-piercing rounds (also known as "Man Stopper" rounds, featuring a penetrator-tip of hardened adamantium alloy embedded in each bullet) to improve their damage output, essentially putting them [[wat|on-par with]] [[Hellgun]]s. Paired with the weapon's fast fire rate, they're probably the earliest weapon you can reliably take down a [[Space Marine]] or [[Chaos Space Marine]] with, though clearly better options are available.

===Autocannon===
[[File:Imperial_Autocannon.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Autocannon]]
The Autocannon is the big-cheese of the Autogun family (and possibly related to the <s>88mm flack gun</s> Bofors 40-57mm), firing enormous shells capable of tearing through bodies like a guillotine through a French aristocrat's neck. Most commonly mounted on vehicles, but also seeing use in [[Imperial Guard]] Heavy weapons teams, it possesses a worrying rate of fire, and good armour penetration, proving that even older tech can work when made sufficiently huge. It used to be much better, using what were approximately [[Awesome|up-scaled Heavy Bolter shells]] to literally kill anything, but then [[Horus Heresy|Horus kicked a tantrum]] and the [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Mechanicus]] forgot how to read. You know, business as usual. Basically, ''these'' autocannon shells were to 40k's autocannon shells what Baneblade cannons are to battle cannons. Yeah. By the way most modern cannons actually use advanced shells like this, suck it imperium.

The standard Autocannon makes a satisfying ''POM-POM-POM'' sound as it chews up targets up to four feet away. It hits at S7AP-1 and is a Heavy 2 weapon that deals D2, making it statistically better than the Heavy Bolter against everything except Toughness 4 and less models. The long-barreled Hydra variation is used on the [[Hydra Flak Tank]], and is designed to serve as anti-air support but used to chew up any cocky infantry that gets too close. Nowadays it gives warning shots that may clip an enemy if that enemy is standing right in front of it and jumps up and down screaming "SHOOT ME" (and even then might miss). Fortunately, it has an additional two feet of range, so while it only has one job, it tends to do it pretty well.

Then there is the Reaper variant, which only the Chaos Space Marines get because Assault Cannons were discovered after the [[Horus Heresy]], and everybody Imperial promptly thought they were cooler than the Reaper Autocannon. This is an infantry-portable, twin-linked Autocannon that wants to put its shells in your face at 36" or less. Scary for light vehicles and monsters, the Imperials were right (for once) to switch to the Assault Cannon for infantry fighting. Fluff-wise it's mostly popular due to it's reliability and durability, capable to operate for years without repair and heavy maintenance, while also often being used as a heavy club in close combat - compare it to the rapier assault cannon, which needs it's barrels to be replaced after each battle or else they would jam or even explode.

Then at some point, the Traitor Legions and their Dark Mechanicus pals looked at the Reaper Autocannon and asked, "How can we make this even more rapey?" So they came up with the Helstorm Autocannon, which apparently can only be fitted to vehicles and aircraft such as the Hellblade due to its sheer rate of fire. It has the same profile as the Reaper except for firing an extra shot per attack and adding delicious Rending because fuck assault cannons. Now if only GW would let the forces of Chaos get their collective shit together and replace every vehicle mounted heavy bolter with S7 AP4 Heavy 3, Twin-linked, Rending.

Also because Chaos likes to add daemons to things, and daemons make things goofy, Chaos Space Marines have access to ''another'' vehicle-mounted variant, the Hades Autocannon, which bafflingly can only be mounted onto a dinobot (probably because it's propelled by warp-flame or something). Fieled onto a Heldrake for air support or in pairs on a Forgefiend for heavy support, the Hades Autocannon (R36", S8, AP4, Heavy 4, pinning) suffers the Reaper's slightly gimped range compared to the vanilla autocannon, but is slightly stronger and can pin units (but don't count on pinning too much); while it's not twin-linked like the reaper, having double the firepower more than compensates. A Forgefiend can mulch most infantry short of [[Terminator]]s, pounding through power armour on sheer weight and power of fire, can make most Monstrous Creatures' lives flash before their eyes, and can hurt even a [[Land Raider]] or [[Monolith]]. It's <s>almost</s> really a shame that the average Forgefiend isn't known for being a phenomenal shot.

If it was a laser weapon, it would be like a weaker, Imperium Pulse Laser or Rapid Lascannon.

===Accelerator Autocannon===
Back when the Emperor still walked, the Imperium was capable of developing new and improved weapons, and the Accelerator Autocannon was one of those. Basically a cross between the Autocannon and a Rail Gun, the Accelerator Autocannon coupled a high rate of fire with a powerful shell and high accuracy.

===Onslaught Gatling Canon===
The latest weapon for the Adeptus Astartes, and currently restricted to use as a secondary weapon on the Repulsor Hover Tank and Redemptor Dreadnought. It has the strength and armour penetration of a heavy bolter at two thirds the range and twice the rate of fire.

===Heavy Onslaught Gatling Canon===
Maximum dakka for the Astartes, the Heavy Onslaught is the primary weapon of the Repulsor Hover Tank and Redemptor Dreadnought. It has the same strength and armour penetration as its smaller brother, but a 30" range and an incredible 12 shots.

===Assault Cannon===
[[File:Assault_Cannon.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Assault Cannon]]
The Assault cannon is an Autogun with an [[Dakka|outrageous rate of fire]], meaning it has to have rotating barrels to stop them from melting. Although it falls far short of it's terrifying fluffy firepower on tabletop, firing 4 shots compared to the 10 and 20 shots of imperial Gatling cannons. It also fires unique, diamond-hard rounds at significantly increased velocity, resulting in far greater stopping power and penetration. The upgraded weapons system was found post-Heresy, meaning that Chaos doesn't get these meat-grinders (although [[Obliterators]] do). Primarily used by [[Space Marine]]s as anti-infantry weaponry on [[Terminator|Terminators]], [[Dreadnought]]s, and various other vehicles and aircraft. The assault cannon might actually be a stub-weapon, as some art shows it ejecting spent casings. [[Only War]] and several other sources show that there is a difference. Auto-weapons are (usually) caseless and can be anything from merely caseless, chemically-propelled rounds, to railrifles and gravitic-accelerated projectiles. This is also why Macrocannons are auto-weapons, as their shells are magnetically propelled. Of course, knowing the Mechanicus, there are probably examples of both auto-weapons and stub-weapons for all solid-projectile weapons of the Imperium.

If it was a laser weapon, it would be to Multilasers something like what a Hellgun is to a Lasgun.

===Rotor Cannon===
[[File:Rotor_Cannon.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Rotor Cannon]]

It should probably have been named Rotor Gun instead, to avoid insulting the true cannons. The ancestor (feeble grandparent) of the Assault Cannon, firing smaller-caliber, less-capable ammunition and to date only seen in 30k. Unfortunately it is much weaker than its more recognizable descendant, with only half the stopping power (in fact it is on par with the standard Autogun and outclassed by the Heavy Stubber) and much less armour-piercing ability, despite having the same shot output most of the time. About the only advantage it has over the Assault Cannon is the fact that it is man-portable by both Power-Armoured Astartes and unaugmented humans, whereas the Assault Cannon requires the user to wear Terminator armour or a vehicle mounting. Based on the stats, it presumably fires similar rounds to an autogun (which is analogous to a modern battle rifle) but at a much higher cyclic rate, so it probably has some similarity to an M134 minigun.

===Punisher Gatling Cannon===
[[File:Punisher_Gatling_Cannon.PNG|200px|right|thumb|Punisher Gatling Cannon]]

The Punisher Gatling Cannon is the primary armament of the Leman Russ Punisher tank and one of the Vulture Gunship's variants. A recent edition to the Imperial Guard armory, the Punisher Gatling cannon unleashes a torrent of anti-infantry firepower and is among the fastest-firing weapons in the Imperial arsenal.

The most [[dakka]] in the game that isn't the Titan mounted Vulcan Mega-Bolter. In fact, so much it doesn't go "dakka, dakka" it goes BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT. Able to churn out more shots than a squad of Tactical Marines at even greater strength, this baby will melt down any block of infantry it comes across and can even threaten Monstrous Creatures by the sheer volume of fire they put out. Also has a kid brother in the form of the Taurox Gatling Cannon, which has less strength and half the shots.

===Battle Cannon===
[[File:Battle_Cannon_Leman_Russ.PNG|200px|right|thumb|Battle Cannon]]
The big cheese of the Autogun family without going full on Titan. The Battle cannon is a larger and heavier version of the autocannon, its size restricting its use to vehicles only. It is the primary weapon of the [[Leman Russ Battle Tank]], where its explosive shells can decimate both infantry and other armor. It is also common armament on [[Imperial Knight|Imperial Knights]], though for these mighty machines are used special Rapid Fire Battle Cannons with improved rate of fire. Due to it being of Autogun in function, it has a wide variation of different ammunition that it can use. such as:

'''High Explosive:''' The standard round fired by Leman Russ battle cannons, HE shells like the Leman Russ Mk4 G4 round contain a highly explosive material such as Fyceline which detonates upon impact with the target. Since a high velocity is not necessary for the shell to work, a small amount of propellant allows for a larger amount of explosive material than in other shells. The explosion causes a blastwave lethal to anyone close by and shatters the thin shell casing into deadly high-speed shrapnel, making them deadly when used against infantry and light vehicles. While the sheer size of the blast can cause minor damage to armored vehicles, even stun or kill the crew within, HE shells lack the penetrative power of true anti-tank shells.

'''Anti-Tank/Armour Piercing:''' Anti-tank or armor piercing shells like the standard Leman Russ Mk12 G4 round are used to destroy hardened targets such as enemy tanks or bunkers. They consist of a solid round topped with an adamantium tip covered by a soft metal cap. A large propellant charge launches the round at high velocities, where upon impact the metal cap melts and creates a "sticking" effect so that the adamantium tip does not slide off of sloped armor or break. Most AP shells cause damage through kinetic energy, the sheer violence of a penetrating hit causing spalling within the enemy tank's interior to damage internal systems and kill crew. Others include a small high explosive charge which detonates upon impact, causing additional secondary damage.

'''Infernus:''' Inferno shells like the standard Leman Russ Mk7 G4 round, also known as incendiary, phosphorine or thermite shells, work in similar principle to HE shells. However instead of an explosive charge these shells are filled with a combustible substance which instantly is scattered upon impact. The substance burns instantly and is particularly deadly when used against infantry.

'''Smoke:''' Smoke shells are used to create an instant smoke screen, hiding the tank or other friendly forces from enemy observations.

'''Hunter:''' Hunter shells are very rare tank rounds which can be fired by a battle cannon or Conqueror cannon. They contain a small logic-engine similar to the one found on Hunter-Killer Missiles which locks onto a target and directs the path of the shell towards it. Just before impact the shell's Machine Spirit causes it to rise above and hit the enemy vehicle on it's thinner top armor. Only ever produced on the Forge World Tigrus, the knowledge to construct Hunter shells was lost when the world was overrun by the Orks. Most tank crews will therefore never even see a Hunter shell, much less have the honor of firing one.

===Gatling Blaster===
[[File:Gatblaster.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Gatling Blaster]]

Strapped to the mighty [[Reaver Battle Titan]] and above, this is the weapon you field when you need the biggest dakka the Imperium of Man has to offer, it's basically an Assault Cannon, [[Awesome|except that it fires Battle Cannon shells rather than bullets]], yeah... this is what you get if you thought about the Schwerer Gustav using Gatling Technology. Now if only they had some kind of Macro Gatling, ridiculous as that would be.

Galting Blasters can be mounted on the weapon limbs of Reaver and Warlord Battle Titans and the carapace mounts on Imperator Titans. It is too large to be fitted to Warhound Scout Titans however.

===Macro Cannon===
[[File:Macrocannon.jpg|280px|thumb|right|A voidcraft Macrocannon, why the Mechanicus decided it was a good idea to use slaves to manually reload a EXBOXHUGE Cannon, despite already having auto-loaders is beyond our moral understandings.]]

The [[Dakka|Biggest of the Big]]. 'Macrocannon' seems to be a catch-all for any auto-type weapon larger than a Gatling-Blaster, ranging from fortress-mounted field artillery to the literally apocalyptic, cathedral-sized weapons found on [[Imperial Navy|voidcraft]]. As is clearly evident, it causes a quantity of [[Rape]] proportional to its size, but even the smallest land-based Macrocannons are capable of laying waste to mostly everything, including [[Awesome|flyers]]. It is at its basest an autocannon that fires bullets ranging in size from that of a man all the way up to the size of a [[Baneblade]], depending on the weapon's calibre (no, seriously), and since this is the Imperium, instead of an automatic reloader, they need [[Grimdark|dozens of slaves to move each bullet]] for the ship-mounted Macrocannons (heretical theories suggest this is either because it is actually cheaper for the Imperium, which is overloaded with humans and not resources, or because they are stockpiling resources, or they are cutting down on chances of daemonic incursions through humans by putting more of them in the killzone, or they are testing to see just how far people will comply with slave labor in a totalitarian state, or - most heretical of all - some suggest it is a bureaucratic screw-up with paperwork or that the AdMech doesn't know how to repair the loading cranes). Provided yields for these weapons can go from 42 exajoules (about 5.297 times more powerful than [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1960_Valdivia_earthquake|the most powerful earthquake ever recorded]; a 42 exajoule earthquake would be approximately magnitude 9.98) right down to the measly [[What|50 tetrajoules]]...[[Derp|*sigh* Games Workshop never fails to surprise us]]. Seriously believe us, we know that tetrajoules isn't an official unit of measurement, but since tetra is Latin for four this essentially gives us....[[Herp|4 joules of power]]....[[Fail|which is weaker then a human punch or a]] [[Lasgun|flashlight]].... Don't believe us? We got that from [[Rogue Trader (RPG)|Rogue Trader rpg: BattleFleet Koronus pg. 31 & 20]] which is quote on quote:
:''"Look at her, son. Isn’t she a beauty? Over two hundred Vulcan mega-bolter defence turrets, '''[[Wat|fifteen tetrajoule Sunsear las-broadsides]]''', prow plating ten metres thick, the finest auspex masts in the battlefleet… And the lines on her! Fluted prow, elegant statuary… those xenos scum won’t know what hit them!” – Bosun Phineas Jhule tempts fate at the embarkation of the Fire of Heaven''
:''"The Avenger dates from an earlier period of fleet tactics, when, squadrons of grand cruisers were employed as “line-breakers.” Traditionally, they were thrown into the midst of massive fleet engagements, soaking up enemy fire while racing into the middle of enemy formations, '''[[Bullshit|then crushing their opponents at short range with tetrajoules of energy from their oversized broadsides.]]'''"
''
Yeah...we in [[/tg/]] aren't sure whether this was [[Troll|intentional]] or a [[FAIL|gross example of a severe typo.]] So...um....[[Lulz|FEAR THE 60 JOULE BROADSIDE BATTERIES!]] Jokes aside, if we use the picture to the right as a reference for size, and estimate the shell as a solid slug of density equivalent to lead, launched at a planet from geosynchronous orbit above an Earth-like planet (36,000km), you're looking at somewhere in the region of 50 Tera-Joules of energy when it strikes the ground, or slightly less than the Little Boy dropped on Hiroshima (and that's just from gravity, not including launch energy). About fifty or so of the land-based Macrocannons would equate to one ship-mounted Macrocannon, or one point of firepower in [[Battlefleet Gothic]]. Oh yes.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:11 - Infiltrator.png|Autoguns - Better Than Your Crap Flashlights!
Image:Autogun01.jpg|A typical mass produced model.
Image:RenegadeArms.JPG|Traitor Guardsmen armed with Armageddon-pattern Autoguns and Autopistols. You know you want 'em.
Image:LRPun.jpg|The Punisher Gatling Cannon and its tank. Sometimes you just need a little more gun.
Image:Gatling Blaster.jpg|The Gatling Blaster. For when you need big dakka.
</gallery>

{{Template:40k-Imperial-Weapons}}
[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]][[Category: Imperial]][[Category: Chaos]]

Vampire Hunter

2017-10-19T00:27:47Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1:

[[File:Vampire Hunter.jpg|250px|right|thumb|An anal circumference that makes most titan legions cower in fear.]]
The '''Vampire Hunter''' is an [[Eldar]] super-heavy gunship and a variant of the [[Vampire Raider]]. Instead of transporting Eldar warriors like its sister, the Vampire Hunter mounts a nose-mounted Scatter Laser, hull-mounted twin-linked Phoenix Missile Launchers, and wing-mounted twin-linked Pulsars. With this weaponry, the Vampire Hunter is able to fulfill its role as a high-speed Titan-destroyer. To protect it during its attack runs, every Vampire Hunter is accompanied by at least two dedicated [[Nightwing Interceptor|Nightwing]] fighters, and is itself equipped with a Titan-grade Holo-field.

The Nightwing fighters are used to fend off any ambushes that the Hunter would be too slow and maneuverable to defend against, although certain [[Eldrad|dicks]] would most likely use the Nightwings as 'meatshields' for incoming missiles and bullets. Nevertheless, this relationship works quite well between the two aircrafts, with the larger Hunter blowing up giant targets whilst being protected enough to leave without being torn to pieces by anti-air batteries.

Like the Vampire Raider, the Vampire Hunter is ECKSBAWKSHUEG with some commenting it to be the Eldar equivalent to the [[Tau]] [[Manta]] and the [[Imperium of Man|Imperium]] [[Stormbird]]. Although the Vampire Raider would be a more closer equivalence than the Hunter due to the former being more of an assault transport rather then being a full blown flying wall of guns.

==Crunch==

On the tabletop, this thing is a Super-Heavy Flyer, and is able to [[Troll|troll]] AA fire by having a 3+ Evade save in the open (which it cannot take, since Super-Heavy Flyers cannot take advantage of the Jink special rule), so enjoy blowing up that [[Reaver Battle Titan|Reaver Titan]] in the corner while avoiding fire from those five [[Hydra Flak Tank|Hydras]] that your opponent has. Only downside might be its expensive-as-balls price (both in-game and IRL).

Both Craftworld Eldar and Eldar Corsairs make use of this flyer.

{{Eldar-Forces}}

Vampire Hunter

2017-10-19T00:22:35Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1:

[[File:Vampire Hunter.jpg|250px|right|thumb|An anal circumference that would make most titan legions cower in fear.]]
The '''Vampire Hunter''' is an [[Eldar]] super-heavy gunship and a variant of the [[Vampire Raider]]. Instead of transporting Eldar warriors like its sister, the Vampire Hunter mounts a nose-mounted Scatter Laser, hull-mounted twin-linked Phoenix Missile Launchers, and wing-mounted twin-linked Pulsars. With this weaponry, the Vampire Hunter is able to fulfill its role as a high-speed Titan-destroyer. To protect it during its attack runs, every Vampire Hunter is accompanied by at least two dedicated [[Nightwing Interceptor|Nightwing]] fighters, and is itself equipped with a Titan-grade Holo-field.

The Nightwing fighters are used to fend off any ambushes that the Hunter would be too slow and maneuverable to defend against, although certain [[Eldrad|dicks]] would most likely use the Nightwings as 'meatshields' for incoming missiles and bullets. Nevertheless, this relationship works quite well between the two aircrafts, with the larger Hunter blowing up giant targets whilst being protected enough to leave without being torn to pieces by anti-air batteries.

Like the Vampire Raider, the Vampire Hunter is ECKSBAWKSHUEG with some commenting it to be the Eldar equivalent to the [[Tau]] [[Manta]] and the [[Imperium of Man|Imperium]] [[Stormbird]]. Although the Vampire Raider would be a more closer equivalence than the Hunter due to the former being more of an assault transport rather then being a full blown flying wall of guns.

==Crunch==

On the tabletop, this thing is a Super-Heavy Flyer, and is able to [[Troll|troll]] AA fire by having a 3+ Evade save in the open (which it cannot take, since Super-Heavy Flyers cannot take advantage of the Jink special rule), so enjoy blowing up that [[Reaver Battle Titan|Reaver Titan]] in the corner while avoiding fire from those five [[Hydra Flak Tank|Hydras]] that your opponent has. Only downside might be its expensive-as-balls price (both in-game and IRL).

Both Craftworld Eldar and Eldar Corsairs make use of this flyer.

{{Eldar-Forces}}

Chaos

2017-10-16T21:48:46Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1:

{{Template:Heresy}}
''"And thanks to Moorcock, whose fault all this is."''
 -Warhammer Fantasy, crediting Michael Moorcock

''"The urge to destroy is also a creative urge."''
 -Pablo Picasso

''"Chaos exists in a state of permanent victory over you - you dance to our tune, mortal one, you butcher and torture and repress one another because the gods of the warp require you to... My lord Tzeentch won your war a long, long time ago."''
 Ghargatuloth, Daemon Prince of Tzeentch
[[File:Chaos inthe imperium.jpg|500px|right]]
'''Chaos''' is a concept which appears in various games, including [[40k]], [[WFRP]], [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles]] and the ''[[Fighting Fantasy]]'' books. There is even [[Chaos in the Old World|a board game dedicated to Chaos]] where you get to play as the major powers.
It means more than simple disorder, and incorporates elements of the [[Lovecraft]]ian concepts of godlike tentacled abominations, evil cults, and "things man was not meant to know" with a 1950s B-movie interpretation of nuclear radiation. There is even a material, [[warpstone]], which is analogous to fissile material with regard to chaos.

Common features of Chaos include:

* Insanity.
* Secrets that the ordinary man cannot be permitted to [[/d/|know]].
* Knowledge that corrupts the bearer and leads him into service of the dark gods.
* Dark gods who capriciously reward as much as punish their followers.
* Summoning [[Daemon]]s, by letting them (temporarily) escape the [[Warp|Warp/Realm of Chaos]].
* Mutations both as a result of the radiation-like influence of Chaos and as gifts from the chaos gods.
* Failing so badly against the [[Imperium of Man]] that GW retcons decades worth of plot as if the [[Chaos Gods|dark gods]] were [[FAIL|merely pretending to be retarded]]
* Areas blighted by Chaos (such as the [[Chaos Wastes]] or the [[Eye of Terror]]) and uninhabitable by sane or irreligious people.
* Roaming warbands or dark cults of Chaos-worshipers.
* [[Beastmen|Furries]].

Chaos, as 40kfags know it, was inspired by Moorcock's ideas about Law vs. Chaos from the ''[[Eternal Champion]]'' series, (and the ancient Egyptian concept of Ma'at vs Isfet). Radiation-like qualities are likely the result of the games in question having been written during the Cold War, with the paranoia that entails.

In more recent Warhammer canon, Chaos exists in a multiverse and is connected to numerous other Warhammer settings other than the two (three, with [[Blood Bowl]]) known to us. This means any Chaos entity with an external origin was once a mortal being in every universe they appear in, who combined in the Warp like a terrible comicbook reboot.

==Followers of Chaos==
There are lots of followers of chaos. Every single one of them has to be considered "armed and dangerous" even when unarmed.

Sorcerers: Guys who have magic powers.

Psykers: Guys who have psychic powers.

[[Beastmen]]: Savage beasts made because of freakish warp exposure. Might be [[Furry|furries]] but are actually more useless without someone to lead them. (Are Tzaangors "featheries? Does that make humans "fleshies?")

[[Chaos Cults]]: [[Your Dudes|Your average joe]] who decides that life sucks, might as well get that sense of community and brotherhood in a group that extols values such as "flaying yourself for Khorne" or "bathing in pus with Nurgle."

[[Warriors of Chaos]]: Badass evil mother-fucking vikings clad in armor that looks fucking [[awesome]]. Basically the [[Warhammer Fantasy|fantasy]] equivalent to chaos space marines. In war, they are lead by a Champion of Chaos, a sorcerer, or really anyone capable of leading a couple of deranged, superhuman war incarnates into battle.

[[Chaos Space Marines]]: A bunch of guys whose [[Horus|leader]] had a few daddy issues with [[Emperor|Empy]]. Basically the [[Warhammer 40,000|40k]] equivalent to chaos warriors. In war, they are led by a [[chaos lord]] or a sorcerer or really anyone or anything capable of leading a handful of deranged, superhuman war incarnates in battle.

[[Daemon|Daemons]]: Creatures made of rape and lemon juice and the jizz of their gods. Exist because you have bad thoughts.

[[Matt Ward]]: [[Skub]] in human form.

==Gods of Chaos==
{{Main|Chaos Gods}}
In both the Fantasy and 40k settings there are four chief Chaos deities, and a number of [[Chaos Gods#The Other Ones|minor gods]].

===[[Khorne]]===
''God of Hate, [[Rage]], Blood, War, Battle, Strength, Wrath, Fighting and Killing, and Honor''

Stated as being the strongest Chaos God due to all the violence in the Warhammers (one of which has only war, or so we're told), and the Chaos Gods themselves being nothing more than palpable manifestations of abstract emotion and philosophy who thus are fed whenever these things are exerted in the real world. In fact, just by playing the game you make Khorne stronger. In a parallel version of the Warhammer Fantasy universe, [[Blood Bowl]], he has his own football team.

===[[Tzeentch]]===
''God of Change, Lies, Hope, Ambition, Manipulation, Scheming and Sorcery, Politics, Planning, Knowledge, Trolling, (formerly) Magic and Lulz''

Tzeentch is prone to utter the phrase "[[JUST AS PLANNED]]". Second strongest and the most successful Chaos God for some reason. Probably because the oppressed peasantry and ambitious warriors are always hoping for food/death/glory. Respectively. Since the nature of Chaos is stated above. In Warhammer Fantasy he's more important as he's the Chaos God of magic, <s>which is ironic because not only does he do all of jack and shit in Fantasy but he also has the weakest Daemons in the army (even his own special magic lore sucks)</s> Gameplay and Story Segregation/ maybe Games Workshop hates Tzeentch or aren't skilled enough to write him well. He claims to be the origin of all magic, but that's bullshit since that would make him the origin of everything, including the other Chaos Gods; so we know he's a fucking liar on top of being a NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

===[[Nurgle]]===
''God of Decay, Despair, Acceptance, Destruction, Disease, Tolerance, Compassion, and Empathy ''

Also known as "Papa Nurgle" or "Grandfather Nurgle", the bloated lord of disease arose from man's fear of death. His followers are afflicted with various awful plagues, but do not suffer or die of them. As well as this respite, he offers those who worship him a sense of family and belonging which is incongruous with the usual attitudes of the chaos gods and his own fearsome appearance.Cited in books as being the third strongest of the gods, until a jolly plague party pops up, where he temporarily overshadows his brothers until the party(participants) dies off. He runs a carnival in Warhammer Fantasy proving once more that all clowns are evil beings full of disease that want to take you away from your parents.

===[[Slaanesh]]===
''God of Decadence, Excess, Pain, Pleasure, Perfection, Aesthetics and Self Indulgence''

Slaanesh gave us [[Daemonette|Daemonettes]]. PLEASE NOTE: Daemonettes are not as attractive in the canon as they are in the pictures on this site. In fact they traditionally only have one breast and have crab claws for hands. For one edition, [[Hordes of Chaos]], they got a revamp to be much sexier, with a mixture of scythe-blade hands and human hands, and being pretty obviously female (often with [[/d/|multiple breasts]]), which is [[Monstergirl|where most of the love for them comes from]]. They got changed back the very next edition, along with the loss of [[Chaos Undivided]] as its own force. Slaanesh is fairly active in the 'hammer universes. In 40k he was birthed from the non-stop 80's mosh orgy of the [[Eldar]] and as a result has claim to each and every Eldar soul, which he eats like popcorn. In Fantasy he prefers making Elves into Daemonettes, preferring them as an occasional dessert while he watches his figure (in a mirror, at all times).

No way one person can convince anyone else that Slaanesh isn't all sex, drugs and Rock and Roll.

===[[Malal]]===
''A renegade Chaos God, representing the paradox of Chaos fighting against itself.''

Malal has been reintroduced under the name of Malice through the Short story of the Sons of Malice: "Labyrinth". Long since removed from the setting ever since [[GW]] couldn't decide who owned the rights. JUST AS PLANNED. Malal likes random violence and smashing stuff, which makes him chaotic neutral, because he is just as likely to mess up the other Chaos Gods plans as it is to prey on Humans and stuff. In short when all the other 4 Chaos gods got together to hatch a plan, Malal storms in and shouts "SURPRISE!!!" and proceeds to try to kill, mutilate set fire to, and destroy anything within reach. Even Khorne has some self discipline and can (though barely) hold it together to have a chat about how to get more Blood and Skulls - Malal just destroys anything within reach - It is completely unhinged and revels in random destruction and violence. Each time Chaos squabbles, Malal gets stronger.

Now of dubious canonicity between the copyright issues and GW simply not giving a shit.

===[[Horned Rat]]===
''Chaos Vermin Lord, rebellious 13th God.''

Existing only in Fantasy, and referenced only once in an Imperial Guard novel of all places, the Horned Rat is a daemonic entity of unknown origin who has somehow become the patron deity of a race of rat-men called "[[Skaven]]" in his image to worship him. As they grew in power, so did he. While possessing an intellect and planning comparable to Tzeentchian Greater Daemons (although without the master nerd sabotaging him), he's also very brutish and when summoned by his followers will oftentimes behave as an unintelligent monster, rampaging through their ranks and consuming his most loyal minions before returning to the Warp.

===[[Chaos Gods of Law|The Chaos Gods of Order]]===

While they have only been mentioned sparingly, and recent fluff has abandoned them for all intents and purposes, there were once four Chaos entities of Order (Chaos being potential after all, not always "inside out walrus" logic) in Warhammer Fantasy. They are also sometimes called the gods of Law. Their most prominent appearance is in the first edition of the Warhammer Fantasy roleplay. Their canonicity is dubious at best at this point, as they have never been mentioned anywhere else since then. The [[Emperor]] of Mankind is speculated to transform into the Warp God of Order should he be allowed to die.

There are three mentioned by name. Alluminas was a god of light who shined eternally, freezing in place anything his light touched. His worship was said to be unknowable by mortal minds. [[Arianka]] was essentially Snow White, a being Tzeentch and the Horned Rat both feared, while Malal saw an opportunity to increase his own power, who was trapped in the mortal world in a crystalline coffin. This coffin is supposed to be under [[Praag]] and can be opened with a crystal key. [[Solkan]] empowered those who fought Chaos, including [[Inquisition|Witch Hunters]], in a manner more akin to Malal with some self-restraint.

==See Also==
*[[Friends]]
*[[Chaos BBQ Cook-Off]]
*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUhr77e8Eho&feature=related
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_wH9rjeroE FOR THE RUINOUS POWERS]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Chaos.jpg|Followers of Chaos.
Image:Chaos2.jpg
Image:40k Scientology - Chaos.jpg|Chaos cultist are KAP-TOORING the streets too.
Image:Chaos star.jpg
Image:GodsOfWarhammer.jpg|YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO VOTE FOR THE BLACK MAN?! YOU'RE ALL WORSHIPING TZEENTCH NOW! Don't blame me, I voted for McKhorne.
Image:Chaosdividedcomic.jpg|Chaos Divided, Just as planned..
Image:cinnamon_toast_crunch.jpg
</gallery>

{{Template:Chaos Space Marines}}
{{Template:Chaos-Daemons}}
[[Category:Chaos]][[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[category: warhammer 40,000]]

Chaos

2017-10-16T21:47:31Z

2603:3027:F03:DD00:F483:ECBB:793C:D2F1: merely pretending

{{Template:Heresy}}
''"And thanks to Moorcock, whose fault all this is."''
 -Warhammer Fantasy, crediting Michael Moorcock

''"The urge to destroy is also a creative urge."''
 -Pablo Picasso

''"Chaos exists in a state of permanent victory over you - you dance to our tune, mortal one, you butcher and torture and repress one another because the gods of the warp require you to... My lord Tzeentch won your war a long, long time ago."''
 Ghargatuloth, Daemon Prince of Tzeentch
[[File:Chaos inthe imperium.jpg|500px|right]]
'''Chaos''' is a concept which appears in various games, including [[40k]], [[WFRP]], [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles]] and the ''[[Fighting Fantasy]]'' books. There is even [[Chaos in the Old World|a board game dedicated to Chaos]] where you get to play as the major powers.
It means more than simple disorder, and incorporates elements of the [[Lovecraft]]ian concepts of godlike tentacled abominations, evil cults, and "things man was not meant to know" with a 1950s B-movie interpretation of nuclear radiation. There is even a material, [[warpstone]], which is analogous to fissile material with regard to chaos.

Common features of Chaos include:

* Insanity.
* Secrets that the ordinary man cannot be permitted to [[/d/|know]].
* Knowledge that corrupts the bearer and leads him into service of the dark gods.
* Dark gods who capriciously reward as much as punish their followers.
* Summoning [[Daemon]]s, by letting them (temporarily) escape the [[Warp|Warp/Realm of Chaos]].
* Mutations both as a result of the radiation-like influence of Chaos and as gifts from the chaos gods.
* Failing so badly against [[God-Emperor of Mankind|the emprah]] that GW retcons decades worth of plot as if the [[Chaos Gods|dark gods]] were [[FAIL|merely pretending to be retarded]]
* Areas blighted by Chaos (such as the [[Chaos Wastes]] or the [[Eye of Terror]]) and uninhabitable by sane or irreligious people.
* Roaming warbands or dark cults of Chaos-worshipers.
* [[Beastmen|Furries]].

Chaos, as 40kfags know it, was inspired by Moorcock's ideas about Law vs. Chaos from the ''[[Eternal Champion]]'' series, (and the ancient Egyptian concept of Ma'at vs Isfet). Radiation-like qualities are likely the result of the games in question having been written during the Cold War, with the paranoia that entails.

In more recent Warhammer canon, Chaos exists in a multiverse and is connected to numerous other Warhammer settings other than the two (three, with [[Blood Bowl]]) known to us. This means any Chaos entity with an external origin was once a mortal being in every universe they appear in, who combined in the Warp like a terrible comicbook reboot.

==Followers of Chaos==
There are lots of followers of chaos. Every single one of them has to be considered "armed and dangerous" even when unarmed.

Sorcerers: Guys who have magic powers.

Psykers: Guys who have psychic powers.

[[Beastmen]]: Savage beasts made because of freakish warp exposure. Might be [[Furry|furries]] but are actually more useless without someone to lead them. (Are Tzaangors "featheries? Does that make humans "fleshies?")

[[Chaos Cults]]: [[Your Dudes|Your average joe]] who decides that life sucks, might as well get that sense of community and brotherhood in a group that extols values such as "flaying yourself for Khorne" or "bathing in pus with Nurgle."

[[Warriors of Chaos]]: Badass evil mother-fucking vikings clad in armor that looks fucking [[awesome]]. Basically the [[Warhammer Fantasy|fantasy]] equivalent to chaos space marines. In war, they are lead by a Champion of Chaos, a sorcerer, or really anyone capable of leading a couple of deranged, superhuman war incarnates into battle.

[[Chaos Space Marines]]: A bunch of guys whose [[Horus|leader]] had a few daddy issues with [[Emperor|Empy]]. Basically the [[Warhammer 40,000|40k]] equivalent to chaos warriors. In war, they are led by a [[chaos lord]] or a sorcerer or really anyone or anything capable of leading a handful of deranged, superhuman war incarnates in battle.

[[Daemon|Daemons]]: Creatures made of rape and lemon juice and the jizz of their gods. Exist because you have bad thoughts.

[[Matt Ward]]: [[Skub]] in human form.

==Gods of Chaos==
{{Main|Chaos Gods}}
In both the Fantasy and 40k settings there are four chief Chaos deities, and a number of [[Chaos Gods#The Other Ones|minor gods]].

===[[Khorne]]===
''God of Hate, [[Rage]], Blood, War, Battle, Strength, Wrath, Fighting and Killing, and Honor''

Stated as being the strongest Chaos God due to all the violence in the Warhammers (one of which has only war, or so we're told), and the Chaos Gods themselves being nothing more than palpable manifestations of abstract emotion and philosophy who thus are fed whenever these things are exerted in the real world. In fact, just by playing the game you make Khorne stronger. In a parallel version of the Warhammer Fantasy universe, [[Blood Bowl]], he has his own football team.

===[[Tzeentch]]===
''God of Change, Lies, Hope, Ambition, Manipulation, Scheming and Sorcery, Politics, Planning, Knowledge, Trolling, (formerly) Magic and Lulz''

Tzeentch is prone to utter the phrase "[[JUST AS PLANNED]]". Second strongest and the most successful Chaos God for some reason. Probably because the oppressed peasantry and ambitious warriors are always hoping for food/death/glory. Respectively. Since the nature of Chaos is stated above. In Warhammer Fantasy he's more important as he's the Chaos God of magic, <s>which is ironic because not only does he do all of jack and shit in Fantasy but he also has the weakest Daemons in the army (even his own special magic lore sucks)</s> Gameplay and Story Segregation/ maybe Games Workshop hates Tzeentch or aren't skilled enough to write him well. He claims to be the origin of all magic, but that's bullshit since that would make him the origin of everything, including the other Chaos Gods; so we know he's a fucking liar on top of being a NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

===[[Nurgle]]===
''God of Decay, Despair, Acceptance, Destruction, Disease, Tolerance, Compassion, and Empathy ''

Also known as "Papa Nurgle" or "Grandfather Nurgle", the bloated lord of disease arose from man's fear of death. His followers are afflicted with various awful plagues, but do not suffer or die of them. As well as this respite, he offers those who worship him a sense of family and belonging which is incongruous with the usual attitudes of the chaos gods and his own fearsome appearance.Cited in books as being the third strongest of the gods, until a jolly plague party pops up, where he temporarily overshadows his brothers until the party(participants) dies off. He runs a carnival in Warhammer Fantasy proving once more that all clowns are evil beings full of disease that want to take you away from your parents.

===[[Slaanesh]]===
''God of Decadence, Excess, Pain, Pleasure, Perfection, Aesthetics and Self Indulgence''

Slaanesh gave us [[Daemonette|Daemonettes]]. PLEASE NOTE: Daemonettes are not as attractive in the canon as they are in the pictures on this site. In fact they traditionally only have one breast and have crab claws for hands. For one edition, [[Hordes of Chaos]], they got a revamp to be much sexier, with a mixture of scythe-blade hands and human hands, and being pretty obviously female (often with [[/d/|multiple breasts]]), which is [[Monstergirl|where most of the love for them comes from]]. They got changed back the very next edition, along with the loss of [[Chaos Undivided]] as its own force. Slaanesh is fairly active in the 'hammer universes. In 40k he was birthed from the non-stop 80's mosh orgy of the [[Eldar]] and as a result has claim to each and every Eldar soul, which he eats like popcorn. In Fantasy he prefers making Elves into Daemonettes, preferring them as an occasional dessert while he watches his figure (in a mirror, at all times).

No way one person can convince anyone else that Slaanesh isn't all sex, drugs and Rock and Roll.

===[[Malal]]===
''A renegade Chaos God, representing the paradox of Chaos fighting against itself.''

Malal has been reintroduced under the name of Malice through the Short story of the Sons of Malice: "Labyrinth". Long since removed from the setting ever since [[GW]] couldn't decide who owned the rights. JUST AS PLANNED. Malal likes random violence and smashing stuff, which makes him chaotic neutral, because he is just as likely to mess up the other Chaos Gods plans as it is to prey on Humans and stuff. In short when all the other 4 Chaos gods got together to hatch a plan, Malal storms in and shouts "SURPRISE!!!" and proceeds to try to kill, mutilate set fire to, and destroy anything within reach. Even Khorne has some self discipline and can (though barely) hold it together to have a chat about how to get more Blood and Skulls - Malal just destroys anything within reach - It is completely unhinged and revels in random destruction and violence. Each time Chaos squabbles, Malal gets stronger.

Now of dubious canonicity between the copyright issues and GW simply not giving a shit.

===[[Horned Rat]]===
''Chaos Vermin Lord, rebellious 13th God.''

Existing only in Fantasy, and referenced only once in an Imperial Guard novel of all places, the Horned Rat is a daemonic entity of unknown origin who has somehow become the patron deity of a race of rat-men called "[[Skaven]]" in his image to worship him. As they grew in power, so did he. While possessing an intellect and planning comparable to Tzeentchian Greater Daemons (although without the master nerd sabotaging him), he's also very brutish and when summoned by his followers will oftentimes behave as an unintelligent monster, rampaging through their ranks and consuming his most loyal minions before returning to the Warp.

===[[Chaos Gods of Law|The Chaos Gods of Order]]===

While they have only been mentioned sparingly, and recent fluff has abandoned them for all intents and purposes, there were once four Chaos entities of Order (Chaos being potential after all, not always "inside out walrus" logic) in Warhammer Fantasy. They are also sometimes called the gods of Law. Their most prominent appearance is in the first edition of the Warhammer Fantasy roleplay. Their canonicity is dubious at best at this point, as they have never been mentioned anywhere else since then. The [[Emperor]] of Mankind is speculated to transform into the Warp God of Order should he be allowed to die.

There are three mentioned by name. Alluminas was a god of light who shined eternally, freezing in place anything his light touched. His worship was said to be unknowable by mortal minds. [[Arianka]] was essentially Snow White, a being Tzeentch and the Horned Rat both feared, while Malal saw an opportunity to increase his own power, who was trapped in the mortal world in a crystalline coffin. This coffin is supposed to be under [[Praag]] and can be opened with a crystal key. [[Solkan]] empowered those who fought Chaos, including [[Inquisition|Witch Hunters]], in a manner more akin to Malal with some self-restraint.

==See Also==
*[[Friends]]
*[[Chaos BBQ Cook-Off]]
*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUhr77e8Eho&feature=related
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_wH9rjeroE FOR THE RUINOUS POWERS]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Chaos.jpg|Followers of Chaos.
Image:Chaos2.jpg
Image:40k Scientology - Chaos.jpg|Chaos cultist are KAP-TOORING the streets too.
Image:Chaos star.jpg
Image:GodsOfWarhammer.jpg|YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO VOTE FOR THE BLACK MAN?! YOU'RE ALL WORSHIPING TZEENTCH NOW! Don't blame me, I voted for McKhorne.
Image:Chaosdividedcomic.jpg|Chaos Divided, Just as planned..
Image:cinnamon_toast_crunch.jpg
</gallery>

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[[Category:Chaos]][[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[category: warhammer 40,000]]