2d4chan - User contributions [en]

Archaon

2023-06-01T08:49:24Z

2605:BA00:6208:2AB4:6D55:4420:F7AA:D97B: Archie has a small pp my argument is flawless because GRIMGOR IZ DA BEST!!

{{heresy}}
[[Image:Archaon Book.jpg|570px|thumb|right|A wallpaper version of his solo [[Black Library]] novel cover art.]]
<div style="font-size:1.10em;font-weight:bold;font-style: FFF Tusj ;font-family:serif;margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em"><span style='color:
#A57164;font-size:100%'> I AM THE TRUE CHOSEN OF CHAOS!<br> - Archaon teaching [[Abaddon|a certain armless failure]] on how to actually kick ass'''</span></div>
{{Topquote|Fear me, mortals, for I am the Anointed, the Favored Son of Chaos, the Scourge of the World. The armies of the gods rally behind me, and it is by my will and by my sword that your weakling nations shall fall.|Archaon the Everchosen, Lord of the End Times}}
{{Topquote|My hatred is a thousand times more powerful than all your good intentions.|Jim Goad}}
{{Topquote|The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose.|James Baldwin, The Fire Next Time}}

'''Archaon the <S>Overchosen</s> Everchosen''', formerly known as '''Diederick Kastnar''', also known concurrently as '''The Three-Eyed King''', '''Lord of the End-Times''', '''[[A Song of Ice and Fire|Kingslayer]]''', and various other titles besides is the supreme Chaos Lord of [[Warhammer Fantasy]] and its successor, [[Age of Sigmar]], as well as in [[Total War: WARHAMMER]]. He is a successor of the Kurgan High Zar Asavar Kul, who previously held the title of Everchosen. Archaon, on the other hand, managed to successfully destroy the world during the [[End Times]] and defeated Grimgor in single combat (while the latter was high off becoming the Incarnate of the Wind of Beasts, no less) and, more importantly, wrestled with Sigmar Heldenhammer himself before falling with him into a Chaos Portal to fight over the titular Warhammer for which the settings of Fantasy and 40K are named, which he just barely lost.

In other words, he shits all over the [[Abaddon|other guy]] in terms of competency and skill. Supposedly, his name is Tilean, meaning 'Warhammer Italy'. Because GW Latin fetish. Depending on how you look at him, he's either a cool, [[awesome|badass]] legend of Chaos and terrifyingly powerful, or a lameass [[Mary Sue|Gary Stu]] and the obnoxious and [[edgy]] conclusion of GW's recent Chaos fapfest.

This is, of course, his newest iteration. Archaon's been around before and was the titular Lord of the End Times during the Storm of Chaos, though both the event and his character were retconned and brought back with heavy modification for 8th Edition. See the End Times article itself for skub surrounding that.

[http://myglobalmind.com/2015/08/25/interview-with-archaon-from-norwegian-death-metal-band-1349/ Also moonlights as a guitarist for Norwegian Black Metal bands].

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1a84RoIMa1Q In the latest of a long line of cool by GW, Archaon's sword, the Slayer of Kings, HAS BEEN MADE IN REAL LIFE]. This is in celebration of the new ''Everchosen'' contest, the flashy new international version of the [[Golden Demon]], and like the Slayer Sword, one fab enough painter gets to win this.

==The Legend==
[[Grimdark|Archaon was born to a Nordland townswoman after a raiding party of bloodthirsty Norscan Chaos Marauders visited the town and the leader of said party proceeded to rape her viciously before leaving her for dead amidst the burning husk of her village.]] His father is [[Be'lakor]], who had taken the shape of a mortal at the time because being an ambitious [[Daemon Prince]] of [[Chaos Undivided]] is clearly not enough villain cred and he felt like he had to see if his cock was still working or something. Of course, the village woman [[Indrick Boreale|did not die then, no,]] but was found clinging to life by her husband and children. After trying unsuccessfully to [[Grimdark|abort the pregnancy the "Marauder champion" had forced on her]], she died nine months later giving birth to the raider's bastard son. Rejected by the surviving family members, the midwife left the baby near the door of a Sigmarite church, where he was saved from a pack of hungry wolves by a Sigmarite priest who adopted in as a son and page for the local church, naming him Diederick.

Diederick grew up into a vigorous and devout lad, strong in the ways of Sigmar, and became a squire for the lecherous lout of a knight Sieur Kastnar. When the Sieur Kastnar ran afoul of some foes and died, Diederick, being a man of honor, took it upon himself to deliver the knight's ancestral sword to House Kastnar. The lady of the House, having been disregarded and despised by her husband, was touched by the young squire's dedication and integrity, and adopted him to her house, bequeathing the sword of Kastnar to him, along with the dead knight's horse Orberon. With her sponsorship, Diederick then entered into the prestigious Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb, becoming the greatest warrior of the Order on account of his (unbeknownst) Northern bloodlust and a paragon of the Order's knightly ideals. [[Grimdark|Which essentially means he was a Black Templar level fanatic who didn't think twice of killing children if they were born with the taint of Chaos]].

Later on his career, while questing about and slaying whole tribes of Beastmen single-handed, Diederick came across a group of the Sisters of Sigmar who were transporting a heretical tome. This tome would turn out to be Liber Celestior itself, penned by Necrodormo the Insane under the direction of Be'Lakor himself, and said to hold the prophecy of the Everchosen of Chaos, the final champion who would herald the End Times. The tome was to be transported to the Grand Cathedral of Sigmar in Altdorf, where it would be kept protected from a warband of Chaos Warriors intent on using it to find the Everchosen. This warband being the Swords of Chaos.

Of course, young Diederick had not even seen the prophecy for himself. And indeed, for so many years, had been much too fanatical and thick in the head to realize that he fit the perfect profile of a Norscan warrior, not an Imperial knight. This also did not come fully to him when his own Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb began hunting him, despite him having been the greatest exemplar of their Order's religious and military ideals. Diederick, being a <s>complete badass</s> fucking Mary Sue, made quick work of the knights and also managed to evade the Swords of Chaos, seeking refuge at the Kastnar estate only to find it having been burned to the ground. There, he conferred with the young Sister of Sigmar Giselle and the priest who had fostered him as to the reasons why the Empire had declared him a heretic and why the Swords of Chaos wanted to suck his cock. They came to the conclusion that he fit the bill as the Everchosen based on the fact that:

* A). He was obviously of Norscan descent (fucking racists...)
* B). He was a knight of the Empire, like the Everchosen was foretold to be.

That's essentially it, really. It's a pretty fucking vague prophecy. But in fantasy worlds, this is often convincing enough, and so Diederick, on the advice of his foster father, journeyed to Altdorf to gain some confirmation of his dark destiny at the Grand Cathedral of Sigmar. Of course, this was after he succeeded in hanging himself because he couldn't live with the truth. Ballsy of him, but the Chaos Gods went 'lolno' and brought him back to life to get on without; they really wanted the End Times to happen, the little shits.

So, after he dragged his depressed ass to Altdorf he prayed before an altar to Sigmar to give him some sign or indication that he was not forsaken by the God-King and not damned to a fate he did not choose and did not want, and received stone silence in return... other than the obvious favor he's enjoyed from the epic ass-kickings he's been delivering as a Knight. And considering the powers of Warrior-Priests, Diederick probably already had shit tons of confirmation that he was, if anything, favored by Sigmar. This doesn't explain why ANY other Human, Elf or Dwarf God didn't appear to prevent End Times, or why Sigmar did fuck-all at the time since even a single act would've stopped the entirety of the End Times. [[Mary Sue|Diederick went batshit insane and managed to take down the entire knightly garrison of the Sigmarite Cathedral]] and even managed to cripple and capture the Grand Theogonist. Interrogating the Grand Theogonist by breaking his fingers individually, Diederick demanded to know how exactly the Knights of the Twin-Tailed Orb were so sure that he was the Everchosen; after all, there were countless half-Norscans running about in the Empire, and there were countless knights of the Empire who had fallen to Chaos. The Theogonist revealed that they weren't sure at all; they had been hunting and killing everyone with his profile throughout the Empire just to make sure. The clincher was that the true Everchosen was prophesied to travel to Altdorf and ask that exact question.

So yes, if Diederick had ''not'' gone to Altdorf to find this out, he would not have fulfilled the prophecy. [[Just as Planned]]. This also means that if the Theogonist did nothing then the End Times also never would've happened, [[derp|and despite knowing this they chose to act.]]

Having finally been driven to Joker levels of genocidal insanity by this tidbit of information (and bad writing), Diederick's switch flipped from good to evil and he loudly denounced the God-King Sigmar and affirmed his allegiance to the Dark Gods of his father's race, swearing that he would bring the Empire crashing down and tear away the pageantry of Sigmar's religion to reveal the god for the craven liar and charlatan that he was. It was during this shouted oath of death and destruction that the Grand Theogonist gloatingly revealed that the entire Reikland army and pretty much the entirety of the Empire's [[Gunpowder (Warhammer Fantasy)|gunpowder]] potential was primed on the Cathedral with the order to kill the Everchosen by any means necessary, including by destroying the Cathedral itself. Luckily for Diederick, the Swords of Chaos arrived and rescued him from the clutches of the Empire, fleeing northwards towards Norsca where the Everchosen could begin his journey. This is, of course, if you follow the later books. Originally he read the prophecy, lost his marbles, and ran off screaming in the night before deciding he'd go up north and join his new dark god daddies.

For such a popular badass among fans, you'd think his origin story wouldn't be so pathetic and stupid.

===Quest for the Six Treasures===
Alright guys, y'all know the story that came after this.

Taking on the name Archaon, the Everchosen traveled North; crossing into Norsca and the Chaos Wastes as he began his prophesied centuries-long journey seeking the Relics of Chaos - The Burning Mark of Chaos Eternal, which bestowed upon its bearer the ultimate favor all four of the Great Chaos Gods. The Armour of Morkar (shield included), the battle-scarred Chaos Plate born by the Norsii warlord and first and greatest of the Everchosen. The Slayer of Kings, the horrifyingly powerful regicidal greatsword forged by Vangel, the Second Everchosen; bound with the soul of U'zhul, the Fist of [[Khorne]]. The Crown of Domination, the ancient battle-helm borne by the first Northern warrior to bargain his soul to Chaos's Dark Lords. The Eye of Sheerian, which bestows upon its user prophetic powers (had it been the Mouth of Sheerian, it probably would have granted him a decent singing voice). And Dorghar, Steed of the Apocalypse.

Archaon got the first one by traveling to the Altar of Ultimate Darkness in Naggaroth where he single-handedly brought upon the genocide of the race of bloodthirsty, atavistic monster-men who infested the temple and who feasted upon the flesh of stray Dark Elves. In the novel and newer version, he also fought a Dark Elf army led by a dragon-riding Sorceress and was saved by Valkia when she arrived after he sacrificed a Dark Elf assassin to the Chaos Gods (strangely Valkia arrived when Archaon offered the assassin's heart even though Khorne's thing is skulls).

He earned the Armour of Morkar by travelling to the Norse King's cairn in the Southern Chaos Wastes and facing off against his vengeful spirit and was nearly slaughtered by his predecessor then and there but for spitting out a 'yo mama' insult in the dead tongue of the Unberogens which managed to catch Morkar just off-guard enough due to its WTFness for Archaon to sucker-punch him and steal the armour. Actually, it turns out that Archaon said 'brinnan utva lioht', which means 'burn in the light', which if I'm being honest, sounds about as insulting as calling someone a scoundrel. To be fair, it only worked because it was Sigmar's language and the last thing Sigmar said to Morkar before concaving his head.

He claimed the Eye of Sheerian from Flamefang, the Claw of Tzeentch, a three-headed Chaos Dragon (a one-headed chaos dragon spirit that possessed and assimilated bodies to gain physical form in the novel). Archaon found it sleeping in its lair and woke it up by hitting one of its heads with his axe. There was an intense fight, which ended when Flamefang swallowed Archaon whole and flew all the way to the Southern Wastes. The armor prevented Archaon from being digested and he cut his way out of the dragon's throat from the inside, which naturally killed it. Archaon plucked the Eye of Sheerian from the belly of its corpse and hung it around his neck.

The next wasn't an item, but a being, the daemonic creature called Dorghar - also known as Ghurshy'ish'phak, Wsyorach and Yrontalie - the Steed of the Apocalypse. At the time Dorghar was being kept in the menagerie of a Slaaneshi Daemon Prince. He entered the stables by clinging to the underbelly of one of the monsters as it returned to its roost, a part man, part mammoth and part insect abomination. Once there, he broke in and tracked Dorghar by Dorghar's smell (originally) or using the Eye of Sheerian (post-retcon and in the novel) until he found the creature. He then jumped on Dorghar's back like a hellish rodeo - one where the mount burst into flame and changed shape while also fighting to dislodge and kill Archaon. Eventually he broke Dorghar's will and killed the daemon prince before riding back out of the Realm of Chaos.

He got the Slayer of Kings from a sleeping Krakanrok the Black, father of the Dragon Ogre race and a being the size of a mountain. The superstrong even for a follower of chaos Khornate Beastlord Ograx was ''just'' able to lift one of Krakanrok's fingers high enough for Archaon to grab the sword. It started screaming so loud that the mountain-sized Krakanrok began to stir and Archaon silenced the blade's screaming by impaling the Beastlord through the heart with it, thereby sating its regicidal thirst as Ograx was a Prince of the Southern Pole Beastmen, who are Beastmen directly fused with Daemons without humans drawing the attention away in the North (and also one of Be'lakor's many bastard children).

The search for the Crown took longer than all the others combined, near a century in fact. But, as we know, he gained the Crown of Domination by travelling to the First Shrine of Chaos in the Northern World's Edge Mountains after Be'lakor was made by the Chaos Gods to appear and show him the way (and some directions from Vilitch in the retcon). Archaon entered and overcame tests set by all 4 of the Chaos Gods, including navigating through a maze made by Tzeentch (by blindfolding himself and going by instinct alone), fighting off every disease possible from Nurgle through [[awesome|sheer]] [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|willpower]] (being reduced to pulling himself across the floor with his fingers as his body melts away, to be restored to normal as if nothing happened in the next room), resisting temptations from Slaanesh in person as he/she/it manifested for a friendly chat, and finally Khorne sending Skarbrand to test his mettle. Skarbrand whom he then strangled to death with his own whip (actually required a fair bit more cunning, planning and daemonic intervention than the armybook versions of the stories would have you believe).

==The Storm of Chaos fiasco ==
And so Archaon got his swag. Eventually the Chaos Gods gave the order, and he led the most ferocious and largest army of [[Warriors of Chaos|Chaos Warriors]] ever assembled against the [[Empire]] during the [[Storm of Chaos]] campaign for 6th Edition. Before he reached the location where he was to end the world, he faced [[Valten]] (supposedly a reincarnation of Sigmar himself), who fought through the Swords of Chaos and killed Dorghar before pressing on to Archaon himself. Valten rushed in to strike Archaon after having dismounted him, but Archaon lunged out of the smoke left when Dorghar died and stabbed him in the chest; Valten pulled even closer though, and swung down, his hammer shredding through Archaon's armor and knocking him to his knees. But Valten let his guard down to un-impale himself on Archaon's sword, and the Lord of the End Times struck back and broke Valten's chestplate. In a moment of humanization and weakness, two things GW would make sure were removed from Chaos and Archaon later on, Archaon was fearful of a Sigmarite tattoo Valten had, and thought the big man himself had come to end him. Just then the [[Orcs & Goblins|Orc]] warlord [[Grimgor Ironhide|Grimgor]] smashed through the Chaos bodyguard single-handed, headbutted Arch in the junk, laughed at his sorry ass then went back to gather another army of greenskins.

The reason this bullshit happened? GW built the narrative around their battle reports, army by army. The problem is that Chaos kept losing. In fact, the good guys were winning so badly the only reason Archaon was pushing them back was due to plot. But GW had already pre-planned the story to become the grimderpofthe41stmilleniumwherethereisonlywar and make "End Times" be in the past tense. In the end, they resorted to having fans call-in the way they wanted the story to end, hoping that Warhammer Fantasy fans would pick the faction with the pointiest stuff on their armor.

They didn't.

They chose a faction that had been beaten in the last match.

Fans chose Orcs over Chaos.

GW had no backup plan.

Grimgor's entire army had been beaten by Crom while Valten and Archaon fought. Grimgor got sick of rallying his forces, went "ZOG DIS, I WANNA PIECE UV DA ACTION!" and charged in to sucker punch Archaon as he was about to deliver the final blow to Valten, shout for the silent and awed assembled armies of the world to hear that "GRIMGOR IZ DA BEST!", then went back home to rally his army. This resulted in the snide nickname of "Light Drizzle of Chaos." Archaon fled the field, somehow alive, but literally ran for the hills to escape Grimgor, who fucked off to who knows where, and the coming army of Karl-Franz.

With that pesky idea of "player agency" getting in the way of their attempt at a forced Chaos ending, GW went silent and further fluff never came. Later on, they retconned almost the entirety of Storm of Chaos and instead made it an alternate continuity. In the current narrative, <s>he's still amassing his army</s> <s> & is crying himself to sleep every night due to the horrible pain he feels in his micropenis after Grimgor defeated him</s> the world ended, and this time, GW dropped the pretenses and didn't leave the ending up to the fans, and in response to complaints that Archaon was an Archy Sue, they amplified his power level through the roof.

So began the beginning of the end of the beginning of the end.

== Archaon's Posse ==
In first [[Storm of Chaos]] and now in [[The End Times]], Archaon isn't alone at the top of the hordes of chaos. He has some lieutenants to help him keep everyone organised. Closest of all is his Herald, [[Vardek Crom]], although officially Crom gets killed in a failed invasion.

In [[Storm of Chaos]], Games Workshop decided to go with the [[Your dudes]] approach, creating four lieutenants based on simply fluffing out the new Chaos Champion models for each of the four gods (save Khorne, who got a custom model based on an old Archaon head, Orc arms and an old Bloodletter body). Thusly, in [[White Dwarf]], we were introduced to:
* [[Haargroth]] the Blooded One, Champion of [[Khorne]].
* [[Feytor]] the Tainted, Champion of [[Nurgle]].
* [[Styrkaar]], Champion of [[Slaanesh]].
* [[Melekh]] the Changer and the sorcerous mutant-child Cyspeth, Champions of [[Tzeentch]].

The characters weren't received too well. So, perhaps realising their mistake, GW has revealed they're bringing back some of the big Chaos characters from their first ever Chaos Special Characters list:

* Representing [[Khorne]], it's [[Arbaal]] the Undefeated, giant Flesh Hound-riding army-butchering Chaos Lord.
* Representing [[Slaanesh]], it's [[Dechala]] the Denied One, corrupted High Elf turned six-armed poison-oozing snake-woman.
* Representing [[Nurgle]], it's [[Valnir]] the Reaper, undead soul-harvester.
* Representing [[Tzeentch]], it's [[Egrimm van Horstmann]], former Magister of the Light College turned dragon-riding daemon-commanding arch-warlock.

Unlike the others, these guys were at least respected enough to get cameos in [[The End Times]]. Two of them were even killed off, with Valnir being killed by Wulfrik in a novel and Egrimm being killed in End Times: Archaon after trying to bind the wind of Aqshy to himself. Dechala was mentioned to be in the final battle and it's said that Arbaal was krumped as well. Dechala is later confirmed to have been raised to full Daemon Prince by Slaanesh so she is the only survivor of the OGs.

[[The End Times]] made a similar plan as well with champions representing each of the Gods, and again, Crom appears and gets his ass handed to him by Valten. This time, however, the posse is made of actually known characters:
*[[Valkia the Bloody]] representing her hubby Khorne during the invasion of Naggaroth. She eventually gets a mutual kill.
*[[Vilitch the Curseling]] being the top champion of Tzeentch while Aekold Hellbrass is busy sacking Kislev. As of ET: Thanquol, he gets sent to drag in [[Karl Franz]] so Archie may kill him once and for all. In End Times: Archaon, he and Thomin switch places, with Thomin calling the shots and Vitlich being the mindless slave.
*[[Sigvald]] the Magnificent being the only person of note dedicated to Slaanesh. He gets his face rekt by the Wight King Krell and then got killed and pissed on by Throgg the troll king.
*The [[Glottkin]] taking the position of top 3 champions of Nurgle after the guy before them gets a Runefang to the face. They get beaten in the same book they appear in by a superpowered Karl Franz and are currently sitting the rest of The End Times out in Nurgle's Mansion.

==Retcon/The End Times==
[[File:archaon.jpeg|500px|thumb|right|The Everchosen doing a badass pose.]]
GW recently realized that pushing ChaosChaosChaos in Warhammer Fantasy only turns off fans who want THEIR faction to be important (as the setting has a fair number of megalomaniacs that would put comicbook villains to shame), and as a result the End Times are finally being ushered in... by [[Nagash]]. The resident Undead [[BBEG]], who aims to take over the world by rendering everyone into undead slaves then consume the Warp. In its entirety. At that time Archaon was seeking the [[Glottkin]], the [[Maggoth Lords|Maggoth Riders]], and [[Gutrot Spume]], and upon finding them gave them three jars of plagues custom-made by Nurgle himself (they also had [[Festus the Leechlord|a man on the inside at Altdorf]] who cooked up his own plague). Archaon's plan was to use the followers of Nurgle like a magical bioweapon; softening up the Empire before he came in to finish it off. Upon hearing that Naggy's stealing his thunder, Archaon prematurely led his forces to battle.

At the border of the Empire and what was once Kislev, he encountered the Auric Bastion, a gigantic wall of metal, magic and holy energy made by [[Balthazar Gelt]] that he and his troops could not cross. Then they came under attack and his army ended up in a stalemate against the forces of [[Vlad von Carstein]], the head of the Dracula Bloodline brought back from death by big bone daddy himself. Vlad's job was to keep Archaon busy while Nagash invaded Nehekhara. Naggy himself was planning to eliminate the [[Tomb Kings]] as they were one of the few forces that can challenge his rule, then subsume them into his armies and go on to kill every living thing in the world and reanimate them.

Gelt fell prey to the separate manipulations of Vlad von Carstein and the Changeling and was outed as an up-and-coming necromancer. After a misunderstanding, Gelt is declared a traitor to the Empire and flees. With Gelt's fall from grace, the Auric Bastion loses the support of the Sigmarite priests, who deem the wall tainted due to its inventor's involvement with necromancy. Soon after the Auric Bastion crumbles, giving Chaos the green light to invade the Empire. Eager to make up for lost time, Archaon leads his forces in and bulrushes his way to Middenheim. Archaon planned to defeat the god Sigmar worshiped as a symbol of his superiority. However, Ulric had enough power to resist him and Chaos had a hard fight until [[Teclis|a meddling elf wizard]], unbeknownst to everyone else, stole Ulric's flame, allowing the power of Chaos to ravage Middenheim. Archaon took on Valten, Sigmar's heir, until a Verminlord decided to be a kill-stealing prick and decapitated Valten, enraging Archaon. Eventually Archaon and his forces conquered Middenheim.

After this Archaon claimed Sigmar's hammer from Valten's body as a trophy and set up camp in Middenheim, putting his throne in the room where the Flame of Ulric once burnt. While there he schemed to have Karl Franz killed, sending [[Kairos Fateweaver]] after him. While waiting, Archaon discovered a secret weapon under Middenheim. Under even where the Flame of Ulric was is a device left by the Old Ones. If properly tended to, it could form a third Warp Rift that would combine with the other two and destroy the world so he sought to activate it, not caring that as far as he knew, it would destroy him too. Due to [[Games Workshop|plot armor]], Kairos failed and Archaon kills the former to summon Ka'Bandha to take out Karl Franz. But he and the other Khornate daemons champed at the bit to start the fight while Archaon camped in Middenheim so he permitted them to hunt Karl Franz and the Incarnates as long as they gave him Karl Franz's flayed skin. During this time he gets several people pledging themselves to his cause who get used as auxiliaries including [[Isabella von Carstein|a possessed vampire]], [[Sigvald|a preening Chaos Lord]], the entire Skaven race and [[Settra the Imperishable|a dethroned undead king]] (though the latter's in it cos "the enemy of my enemy..." and ultimately says "fuck this shit" to Chaos).

Due to the machinations of Nurgle and the Skaven, Nagash is reduced from contender for the main villain and a burgeoning god of undeath to that "lesser villain that needs to team up with the good guys to fight the true villain" guy. The Bone Daddy approaches the Incarnates and offers an alliance which they, ''very'' grudgingly, accept. Eventually the Incarnates come to Middenheim and a gigantic clusterfuck of a battle occurs. The Orcs led by Grimgor throw in their lot with the Incarnates after some skillful manipulation from Malekith and even Sigmar himself makes a comeback. Despite everything arrayed against them, it eventually ends up being ChaosChaosChaos anyways when they fail to stop Archaon's ace-in-the-hole; his custom-made, Old-Ones-inspired WMD... Largely because Mannfred decided to betray Nagash (along with the rest of the good guys) at the last moment. While everyone else either dies or gets warped into some chaos bullshit, Archaon and Sigmar fall into the Warp Rift while wrestling for the hammer.

Whatever anyone says, if there was to be an ending to Warhammer Fantasy Battle, this is it: The Big Good and Big Bad of the setting falling into oblivion wrestling over The Warhammer. Fucking <strike>sweet</strike> <strike>gay</strike> however you feel about it.

==Age of Sigmar==
So by now I imagine you're thinking "well bugger me, how can this guy get any more badass and/or mary sueish?" Well let me answer that for you, with a new model. Move over, [[Nagash]], there's a new giant model in town and he's coming for you.

After completing a brand new series of challenges set by the Chaos Gods, smashing them all with ease and without a shred of loyalty for the Unholy Quintet, and rejecting the newly ascended [[Great Horned Rat]]'s offer of a blessing by spitting in his verminous face, Archaon has been made the Grand High Marshall of Chaos. Which basically means that he can do whatever the fuck he wants without the Chaos Gods doing anything to stop him. He could go around and murder the shit out of each of the gods' best followers and get away with it, because fuck you, he's Archaon.

That said, however, not everyone unanimously accepts his claim, and there were those like the Gaunt Summoners of Tzeentch (A bunch of possibly-daemonic sorcerers with eyes all over their helmets) that put up a resistance against the Marshall, and end up getting a serious ass-whooping for their troubles. Once that was dealt with he went on a rampage through the realms. One of his harder battles was in the realm of Shyish. Archaon took on Nagash as he was the only one strong enough to defeat him. Archaon did at one point, striking him down and began to destroy his body. From there he proceeded to lock up the souls of the dead in a giant bone cage so Nagash couldn't access them.
However Nagash was the god of death and Archaon had killed him in the Afterlife, so where was we going to go, Detroit? Due to Nagash's powers - and Arkhan and Neferata retrieving his remains afterwards - Nagash returned to try and lay a vengeful beatdown on Archaon's army, only to fail again. He used his powers to break the bone cage and gain access to the souls Archaon had contained. The two dueled, again but Archaon called on the Bloodthirsters for backup, forcing Nagash to retreat. Archaon's only defeat came at the hands of Malerion in the realm of Ulgu, and he is now fascinated by Ulgu.

On top of his legions, he also controls his own order of knights, called the Varanguard. These guys replace Archie's old warband and serve as his presence in every campaign, and in those he does deign worthy of his direct intervention, they serve as his mightiest warriors. These guys are called from every walk of Chaos, and each of them find some omen compelling them to serve the Everchosen to which they follow so devotedly that they abandon their god's calling to serve him under pain of death. Those that pass the trials laid before them on their route to the Varanspire (his new castle in the Realm of Chaos) are then chosen to join one of his eight circles and gain a giant mutant thing that possibly used to be a horse. Also joined by some of Slaanesh's followers and daemons - the Invaders faction - who now worships him as their god.

And that's not even mentioning the new changes to his look.

For a start, Archaon is now rocking some badass new black armour that makes him look much more sinister, powerful, and imposing, though at the cost of the Northern Warlord look he used to have. Slayer of Kings is also different, now a gigantic on-fire sword with a much more ornate design than before, very cool. But the real change isn't even Archaon himself, but the horse Dorghar. Well, ex-horse, because Dorghar is now a gigantic chimera monster with three heads to represent Nurgle, Khorne, and Tzeentch (Slaanesh has vanished without a trace) and two tails as an homage to the Great Horned Rat. He's now gathering all the forces of Chaos together to launch a massive campaign against Sigmar and finish what he started in the Old World, and stands as the greatest threat that Order may ever have to face. Just like old times, huh? To GW's credit, Sigmar's also gotten a lot stronger, so it's beginning to feel less like some author's pet stomping over non-opposition, but who will ultimately win?

Archaon also nearly scored a major win for Chaos during the Soul Wars by finding and reaching Slaanesh's prison. He took his Varanguard, leaving the Chaos Lord Namos Saskarid in charge while he went to free the Chaos God. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for everyone not Chaos-aligned, Nagash chose that time to strike. The undead attacked through the Shyishian realmgate and captured it, with [[Lady Olynder]] personally killing Saskarid. Then [[Katakros]] and armies from four Ossiarch Legions moved in and fortified the gate, leaving part of the Allpoints under control of Nagash. From there Bonereaper and Nighthaunt armies ravaged the Eightpoints, even laying siege to the Varanspire itself. Upon learning of this, Archaon was forced to stop breaking Slaanesh's chains and led his forces in a mad rush back to the Eightpoints. Catching the undead in a three-pronged attack, the undead army was decimated, Archaon leading the charge and destroying many undead including slaying Katakros' lieutenant Zandtos. Soon the Everchosen and Mortarch met for the first time, immediately enaging each other in a vicious duel. Despite his attendants dying, Katakros did well against Archon until he got pinned by Dorghar and run through with the Slayer of Kings (though unbeknownst to Archaon, Katakros had planned for that and has lots of back-up bodies). Having repelled the undead but losing part of the Eightpoints to Nagash, Archaon decided that next time he crossed paths with Nagash, he'd finish him for off once and for all.

His dad is currently trying to win street cred in an attempt to usurp him, but given that this is Be'lakor we are talking about he is probably going to fail in some spectacular way. (Although surprisingly it has been working out for him well for him so far.) His latest attempt at this was featured in the new warcry box set ”Heart of Ghur” which has some of his troops fighting it out with troops belonging to Be'lakor, Nurgle, and [[Hashut]] of all things over a place called the Gnarlwood located on the continent of Thondia in Ghur. In addition to being filled with all kinds of nasty carnivorous plants that could be used to ruin someone’s day, the forest is also loaded with powerful Seraphon artifacts that were left there after a bunch of their ships crashed in the area. Seeing an opportunity to score a victory by gaining the artifacts and thus further convince people he deserves to be the true Everchosen, Be'lakor has sent his troops out to conquer the Gnarlwood which has forced Archaon to send in his own troops to stop them.

== On the tabletop ==

===Warhammer Fantasy===
In an interesting irony, though probably not intentional, Archaon is also in a lot ways the opposite of Abaddon, not in a bad way. Where as Abaddon tends to get changed fairly heavily each edition, Archaon stays mostly the same with each book, with the only changes to him being armor save's not including bonus for him being mounted, what his steed can do, or whether or not you can field him on foot. Also, where as Abaddon is characterized by his hitting power while being respectably tough to kill, Archaon hits hard (base attack ignores armor and can double attacks for the rest of the game, though if does any 1s on to hit rolls have to be directed at him or his unit) although his most impressive trait is how freaking hard he is to kill. While his statline is only slightly better than a normal Chaos Lord, he has a 1+ armor save, a 3+ ward save, all to hit rolls against him have a -1 and he can't be wounded on better than 3+. Sadly, while an indestructible death machine, his cost keeps him from getting much use. Afterall, [[Dwarfs|cannons]] are the solution to all problems in Warhammer Fantasy.

===Age of Sigmar===
Age of Sigmar continues this trend of indestructibility in style. Now rocking a 3+ Save that he can easily buff to a 2+, a 5+ Save against Mortal Wounds, and now ''20 FUCKING WOUNDS! HOLY SHIT, THIS IS MEANT TO BE THE GAME WHERE 1 WOUND IS THE AVERAGE, RIGHT?'' Yeah, new monster-riding Archaon is even more of a tank than he used to be, and that's saying a lot. And in addition to this, his new three-headed Dorghar can use one of three special abilities every turn he kills somebody in melee. This can range from vomiting up the remains of his victims all over the unit he's fighting, Nurgle style, to ''eating their skulls and heal D3 wounds!'' Fucking hell, and I thought he was a tank before he could regenerate. In addition to his insane defensive ability, he can also bring the pain too. He has access to Arcane Bolt (as well as the ability to gain the spells of any other wizard if he feeds the unfortunate wizard to the Tzeentch head), though Mystic Shield is always a better choice to up his defense, Dorghar can hit like a truck like any monster, and the Slayer of Kings returns as potentially one of the strongest weapons in the game with an easy To Hit and To Wound, and very heavy Rend and Damage. In addition, if you roll two 6's To Wound on the same Hero with the Slayer of Kings, then it instantly kills them with no saves of any kind allowed. Though with only four attacks, this won't happen too often. Still, with those stats he's easily going to live long enough to pull it off sooner or later.

==Total War: WARHAMMER==
Archaon appears as the faction leader for the Warriors of Chaos, the first DLC faction of Total War: WARHAMMER and though the campaign mechanics of said faction have been left in the dirt by newer and shinier factions to come out, Archaon still manages to be an absolute menace on the battlefield in a chaos campaign. At level 40 and with all of his quest items (of which he has 4, as many as you can have) he carries on the tabletop tradition of being an absolute tank, rocking an impressive 40% ward save combined with a 20% physical resist (which can be comboed with the Swords of Chaos' guardian ability, bringing the physical resist upto 35%), and a 15% magical resist resulting in a combined damage reduction of up to 75% for physical damage and 55% for magical damage. Couple this with the fact that you can easily get him to over 130 armor and over 100 of both melee defense AND attack, and he will stay in the fight for longer than most. Oh and he also gets access to the lore of fire and the Slayer of Kings, ensuring that he can dish out punishment as readily as he can take it.

However, as mentioned this is all in the chaos campaign. On multiplayer... well, he's a bit of a meme. Players have even given him the moniker of "Archaon the Neverchosen" due to the fact that more often than not people will elect to either bring Kholek or a generic Chaos Lord in favor of Archaon. There are a couple of reasons for this

* His tankiness in campaign is simply not as much a factor in multiplayer, though he does have 120 armor, 5000 hp, 60 melee defense, and 10% physical resist, he is still far more vurlerable to being gooned by other lords than Kholek or Sarthorael would be, largely owing to him not having nearly as high a mass as either of those two leading to him being unable to push his way out of dangerous situations. It also means that he is staggered more in combat, leading to him getting fewer hits in and is therefore less effective.
* And much like his tankiness is a non factor, his killiness is as well. He's got a single strong damage augmenting item, that being the Slayer of Kings, which albeit very killy, has a very long cooldown and more importantly only recharges if he's in melee, leading to you potentially only being able to use it once in a match if the opponent is avoiding him well.
* Speaking of avoiding him, he can be quite easy to kite despite being a mounted lord with a relatively high speed, and you might wonder why this is? Well, remember that mass problem he's got? If he does manage to get on top of someone's lord and pops his Slayer of Kings, all that lord has to do is find a handy unit of zombies, gobbos or whatever else expendable unit they have lying around and throw them at him while their lord runs away, leaving him to go fisticuffs with a unit that he will beat eventually, but a unit that he doesn't actually want to be fighting since it's a waste for him to do so.
* Speaking of wastes, let's talk about his cost. Stripping all his magic and items (though not Dorghar, what would he be without him) Archaon comes in at a premium at 2085 gold, just slightly more expensive than a Dragon Ogre shaggoth. Kholek meanwhile (being his primary contender) comes in at 2200, which albeit more expensive, gives you a lot more due to the fact that Kholek doesn't suffer from having low mass, nor does his combat buff, Starcrusher, recharge only in combat. It's admittedly a weaker buff in terms of raw damage potential, but it lasts longer and is available more reliably, therefore giving it the edge. And of course, if you don't want either Kholek nor Archaeon, you can always go for the dead cheap Chaos Lord or even Sigvald, who allow you to go for a wider build.

Maybe with game 3 being focused more on Chaos we'll see an update to the Warriors of Chaos and Archaon, that hopefully might make him a more lucrative pick, but at the moment he's just a bit lackluster compared to his competitors. However, pretty much the opposite started to happen instead, as with the reveal of your own customisable Daemon Prince Archaon once again fell out of favor, as many people regarded Daniel to be far more interesting, oh and also he has a roster composed of all Chaos Daemons with only minor restrictions. Time will tell, of course, but for now poor old Archaon is dumped on once again.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDhKpHUijtQ Or maybe not anymore]. The most recent information regarding the combined map game mode "Immortal Empires" presented by various Content Creators and Youtubers also gave the Warriors of Chaos, and thus Archaon, some time in the spotlight. Upcoming changes for him so far:

* Dorghar has received a visual overhaul and is now truly gargantuan, dwarfing even the massive chaos knights' steeds, who themselves dwarf your average horses now. No more Chaos ponies! Hopefully this mere size increase also brought better combat stats with it, otherwise he has just become an even more attractive target for any form of missile units and Anti-Large artillery.

* Archaon himself got a visual overhaul as well; the most notably thing so far is that his chin is not clipping 24/7 through his collar anymore. Along with that, he received new fighting animations both on foot as well as on Dorghar.

* In terms of actual gameplay changes, Archaon isn't a pure Lore of Fire caster anymore, but now has a mixture of the Lore of Death, Metal and aforementioned Fire. Which is somewhat of a mixed bag all things considered, literally and figuratively. He keeps Flaming Sword of Ruin and Flaming Skull, but loses access to Flamestorm (which was his primary method of dealing with armored infantry blobs) and instead received the Purple Sun of Xereus. Which, when compared to Flamestorm, is pretty much inferior in any way: Higher Winds of Magic cost, shorter duration and it deals too much damage per entity, meaning damage isn't efficiently divided between entities of a unit. Plus the new hard cap for Winds of Magic makes the higher cost of Purple sun even more bothersome. Bummer.
* Other than that, he reportedly gets Searing Doom, Transmutation of Lead and Spirit Leech (Another overpriced, underperforming spell from the god-awful and wrongly named Lore of Death. Seriously, you would think that a Lore of Magic that is called "Death" would actually excel at killing stuff. But no, can't have that apparently). Generally speaking, his spell selection got a whole lot less impressive.

All in all, Archaon is definitely going to be less devastating as a caster with this new Lore of Magic mix, but to compensate for that, he may be further improved as an actual melee combatant. If that is sufficient to make him stand out enough remains to be seen, but considering that the Chaos faction as a whole already has a plethora of powerful melee Legendary Lords (Skarbrand, N'kari and Kholek spring to mind), it is probably best to retain a healthy portion of skepticism when regarding the question if Ingame-Archaon will be able to live up to expectations.

And Immortal Empires came, and Archaon is pretty good, all things considering. It's less than getting more op on the battlefield, but more that he finally found a niche in the Warriors of Chaos roster. He's now the standart Warriors of Chaos campaign, with the Champions of Chaos taking a lot from their monogod brethren, Sigvald being halfway Slaaneshi, and Kholek doing Kholek things(SMASH), only Archaon and Be'lakor are truly Undivided, and they have different specializations. Be'lakor has no Gifted units cap, and he starts with all the Gifts slots unlocked. Archaon has to unlock them via the tech tree, but he's now the proper poster boy, in the sense that his mortal followers can follow every god. Plus Archaon gets to (violently) confederate every one of his faction buddies, like Be'lakor. In a sense he is similar to the Daemon Prince, in the sense that his campaign is whatever you make it to be. Given his start position he is well defended from external threats for a while, but he can find a proper challenge in his doorstep. He has a lot of Dark Fortresses available to him in the surrounding area, and he's not that far away from Kholek if you want to go that route.

So, all in all, Archaon is better than ever in Immortal Empires. He doesn't have the melee potential of Kholek, or the massive cheese of Vilitch's barrier, but on the other hand, he doesn't have to. His campaign is fun, and considering his long trek since being in the most boring faction in Warhammer I to this point, I think that's a solid win in my book.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image: Original Archaon.jpg|Archaon, back in the early days of Warhammer Fantasy. He had a horsie.
Image: Archaon Old.jpg|Archaon's limited edition model, on-foot.
Image: Archaon New.jpg|Archaon's new model with his daemon horsie.
Image:ArchaonAOS.jpg|Archaon's newER model, now with a gigantic daemon chimera, the Evolved form of daemon horsie.
Image:Godbeasts.jpg|An evil, powerful warrior traveling from world to world, seeking further power from a godlike serpentine dragon... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4vjJrGeh1c that sounds familiar].
Image: The three eyed king.jpg|Archaon ablazing.
Image: Archaon end times.png|Archaon's sword.
Image: Lord of the End Times.jpg|Archaon's sword ablazing.
Image: Archaon 3.png|Archaon in [[Total War: WARHAMMER]]
</gallery>

==Memes==
Of course what would a Warhammer character be without the memes?

Archaon is notable for a fair few, given the tendency of writers to keep at least his foot in the spotlight.
* ANIME: Thanks to his art and general JRPG villain actions in Age of Sigmar, Archaon has become the embodiement of ANIME (always caps).
*Archaon the never chosen: In total warhammer he is rarely ever a threat and a barely played lord with most players choosing order factions & chaos players choosing norscans or beastmen. Now with the release of Total Warhammer 3 even less players choose archaon as the chaos roster has been expanded.
* Horns: Archaon's helmet horns have grown in each incarnation, leading to humor a la Abby's armlessness about horn growth, and the increasing difficulty lifting or turning his head.
* Penguins: Archaon has described the Beastmen inhabiting the south pole as "true Beastmen", free from human taint. Since there is no combination of Daemon, man, mutant, or beast not present in the Old World some have come to the conclusion that Archaon is scared of penguins.
* Archaos: The creator of the Archaon character identified his original intended name as the even more ludicrous "Archaos", destined to fall on his sword in the final battle after realizing what he had done to the laughter of the Chaos Gods. Since then Archaos the teenage suicide victim bullied by the Four has become a preferred way to mock the character.
* [[Slambo]]: A generic miniature from Oldhammer that some see as the REAL Everchosen.
* Everchozen: He'll have this world.... kid. A purposefully bad Paint drawing of Archaon in the style of Coldsteel the Hedgehog, complete with massive horns and a bio reminiscent of a twelve year old's Naruto OC. Commonly used by critics of the End Times and/or GW's sudden masturbation of Chaos in general (and ''boy'' are there plenty of critics), and/or as "Neverchozen", referencing pre-retcon Archaon and his failure.
* On a minor note, two memes about [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2019/11/15/meme-hammer-youre-welcome/ Archaon failing to destroy the world of Warhammer from Geedubs themselves] after the news about [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] returned.

{{Chaos-Champions}}
{{Template:ChaosGods}}
[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Slaves to Darkness]]

Half-Orc

2023-06-01T07:56:47Z

2605:BA00:6208:2AB4:6D55:4420:F7AA:D97B: Generally seen as a joke by greenskins and a myth by humans. Hope they get some proper fluff in the prequel.

[[File:half-orc SCAG.webp|thumb|right|A 5e Half-Orc]]

{{cleanup}}

A '''half-orc''' is exactly what it says on the tin - a fusion of [[human]] and [[orc]]. Traditionally, such procreation is done under a male orc/female human paradigm, predominantly under connotations of rape (not explicitly stated as such, but heavily implied nonetheless). This has made the half-orc one of the more traditionally [[edgy|"edgy"]] and politically incorrect racial options, so it has almost as many haters as it did fans; the fact that half-orcs are usually described as looking more like orcs (aka, monstrous) has further made them a somewhat marginal race even amongst edgelord players, who are more likely to gravitate towards races like [[tiefling]]s, [[dhampyre]]s, or even [[half-elf|half-elves]] (who were actually ''also'' usually the result of rape in D&D 1e). In fact, this "child by rape" standard origin is generally held up as the reason why it's believed [[TSR]] didn't make half-orcs playable in [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] until the Complete Book of Humanoids, when they had first appeared in the 1e PHB.

Traditionally, half-orcs receive a "watered down" version of the orc's traits; this amounts to a lesser Strength boost but also a lessened penalty to mental stats, as well as by having better nightvision than humans, but also better daylight vision than orcs, gaining darkvision without suffering light sensitivity (except in 3e, where they still had the orcy extra vulnerability to spells like Sunlight). Bonuses towards intimidation-type effects, reflecting their frightening mien, aren't uncommon, and they tend to lean towards evil and chaos in settings where orcs just swing that way for reasons of giving PCs critters to kill without feeling bad about it.

Weirdly, half-orcs weren't quite in line with the aforementioned paradigm in AD&D 2e; they got +1 to both Strength and Constitution to offset their -2 Charisma, with pureblood-orcs only getting the +1 Strength, and they had higher racial maximums for Constitution and Intelligence. Meanwhile, orcs had a higher racial maximum for Wisdom and could get to much higher levels in Cleric, Shaman, Witchdoctor and Thief than half-orcs (unless the half-orcs had exceptional ability scores). Pureblood orcs had a chance to notice new/unusual construction and sloping passages, whilst half-orcs lacked the light aversion of the purebloods. In the 1st edition [[Player's Handbook]], half-orcs were allowed unlimited level advancement in the [[assassin]] class, as well as the ability to multi-class as assassin/[[fighter]]s, or assassin/[[cleric]]s.

The half-orcs suffered considerably when converted to 3e, which is responsible for cementing the archetype of the half-orc as a "big dumb brute" in most /tg/ circles. With +2 to Strength contrasted by -2s to Intelligence and Charisma, and their only unique racial traits being darkvision, "orc blood" (can use orc-exclusive feats and magic items, treated as an orc for racial triggered abilities & spells) and a favored class of [[barbarian]], they were the most mediocre and underpowered race in the PHB. They didn't even make very good assassins any more! Having no bonus to Dexterity (the core class-based ability score) was one thing, but that Intelligence penalty severely hampered their ability to get the skill ranks they needed to even qualify for the class. As a result, even more so than small races like [[halflings]] and [[gnome]]s, half-orcs tended to be unpopular and pigeonholed.

It got so bad that both [[Pathfinder]] and 4th edition tried to fix it, with 4e even leaving half-orcs out of the PHB in order to devote more time to coming up with a good niche for them - something that wasn't popular with many people, but really wasn't unprecedented.

The PF half-orc is basically just the 3.5 version with some extra orcy racial traits; swapping the +2 Str/-2 Int/-2 Cha paradigm for "+2 to one ability score of the player's choice", and gaining +2 to Intimidation checks, Weapon Familiarity (Double-Axe, Falchion, Orc), and the Orc Ferocity racial trait (can fight on for 1 round after dropping to 0 hitpoints). It was a simple fix, but compared to the 3.5 half-orc, it was a huge step up. Plus, if nothing else, they have access to the awesome [[Muscle Wizard|scarred witchdoctor]] archetype for [[witch]]es, which is both crunchy goodness and awesomely flavored.

The 4e half-orc, in comparison, became a +2 Str/Dex race with bonuses in Endurance and Intimidate, Low-Light Vision, the Half-Orc Resilience trait (gain +5/10/15 temporary hit points the first time you are bloodied in an encounter), which makes them a lot tankier, the Swift Charge trait (+2 speed when charging), which lets them excel at running people down, and the Furious Assault racial power (1/encounter, boost weapon damage dice for a successful hit by +1 dice). All in all, they're melee monsters, made for kicking ass and taking names, but they don't have to be barbarians; 4e half-orcs make pretty good [[rogue]]s, thus restoring their 1e traditional expertise, and surprisingly good [[monk]]s.

5th edition followed in 4e's footsteps and focused on making them natural ass-kicking tanks, almost like being a barbarian-lite just by your choice in race. +2 Str and +1 Con, Darkvision, free Proficiency in Intimidation, can tank a killing blow 1/day, and +1 dice worth of damage on critical hits with melee weapons. Maybe not as broad in possibilities as the 4e version, but certainly a hell of a lot stronger than the 3e version.

Of course, bad crunch was only one half of the half-orc's problem. As we said up at the top, they've always been the edgiest of the "traditional corebook" races. Whilst PF ran with it, even emphasizing the whole "you were probably born of rape and everybody hates you!" stuff, other editions or even settings within 2nd and 3rd edition have tried to have more cheery fluff.

For example, there was fluff implying that female orcs [[monstergirls|generally aren't as ugly as people make out]], and that frontier clans tend to intermarry with some frequency. Even way back in AD&D, there were occasional comments implying individuals having peaceful co-relations; the factol of the Bleakers in [[Planescape]] was the son of a blind man and his orc wife, whilst Greenwood has spoken on forums about isolated regions where human widows or spinsters have accepted displaced orc braves as, essentially, live-in hired help that accepts sex and food in lieu of money for taking care of the homestead. Some places actually have full on half-orc ''populations'', where man and orc have so thoroughly interbred that ''everyone's'' at least a little bit half-orc. Fourth edition also introduced more explicit ideas for racial backstories beyond "orcs like to rape and pillage", such as half-orcs being the result of deliberate intermarriage on a massive scale, crossbreeding by some external faction, or even a deliberate creation of either [[Gruumsh]] the orc-god to create a superior strain of orcs to lead the rest of his children to victory, or [[Kord]] to create a super-race of warriors.

Everyone agrees that this is in much better taste and shuts out some of the edgelord bullshit, and it's gone over quite well.

Of course, it probably goes without saying that exactly ''how'' oppressed and angsty half-orcs are varies with the setting, and, more to the point, with the setting's orcs.

When they're just traditional rampaging barbarians all the time, they tend to get all kinds of shit on -- [[Golarion]], home of the [[Pathfinder]] setting, really plays up the "half-orcs are usually born to rape" in the fluff, so they get a ''lot'' of flak... somewhat two-facedly, though, most of their important half-orc characters are ''not'' rape-children, and in places like the deserts or the Mwangi jungle, half-orcs are actually quite respected. Desert half-orcs actually get bonuses to ''diplomacy'' instead of intimidation.

In places like [[Eberron]], where orcs aren't so bad once you get to know them, they fare much better, though still suffer discrimination due to a perceived lack of intelligence.

In some places, it might even vary from place to place. Forgotten Realms, for example, has the Eastern territory of Thesk; when the Tuigan Horde nearly overran the place, Thay sent an army of orcs to defend it, and then abandoned them when the Horde was pushed back. The Theskians took them in and the orcs actually settled down pretty well - in Thesk, the stereotype of the half-orc is a gruff, hard-working rancher or miner, and a damn good neighbor to have in a place where bandits and invasions happen all the time. Meanwhile, in the Northern territories of Faerun, half-orcs are rare and usually killed at birth, because they're seen as being no different than the local orcs, who are murderous, wrathful monsters - although this has softened over editions, thanks to Many-Arrows.

Almost every setting, though, points out that anyone big and beefy enough can carve out a niche for him- or herself in among the "civilized" races, and that being the smartest motherfucker in the room and only slightly less strong has its own advantages in the orc tribes. Lots of famous orcish heroes had enough human blood in them to make them, as their [[ork|spacefaring cousins would say]], "ded kunnin'."

Although this page focuses on human/orc hybrids, in AD&D, Half-orcs were a lot more diverse. The "basic" half-orc entry in the Monster Manual covered not only orc/human hybrids, as discussed in detail here, but also orc/[[goblin]] and orc/[[hobgoblin]] crossbreeds. Orc/[[ogre]] crossbreeding was rumored to be the source of the Orog species (although 3.5 [[Forgotten Realms]] retconned orogs as an [[Underdark]] dwelling species of bigger, smarter orcs), which itself received magically augmented/created variants in the "Neo-Orogs" of the Forgotten Realms (divided between Red ones, for fighting, and Black ones, for assassination). A confirmed orc/ogre crossbreed, though definitely leaning towards the Ogre (it was actually listed under "half-ogre" in the AD&D MM) is the Ogrillon, which basically resembles a giant orc covered in bony spikes. The weirdest half-orc is the Losel, or "ape-orc" of [[Greyhawk]], which is half-orc and half '''baboon''' -- thankfully, that one's believed to be a magical creation, like the [[owlbear]].

Heck, in 1st edition, there were actually some stats given to the orc-bugbear, the orc-gnoll, the orc-goblin, the orc-hobgoblin, the orc-kobold, and the orc-ogre crossbreeds, although these were presented more as new enemy fodder, in the 44th issue of [[Dragon Magazine]].

That said, the 5th edition monster manual's lore for orcs does say that orcs can make half-orcs with many different races of compatible size, explicitly calling out dwarfs as a candidate, so with a DM's permission, a half-orc's fluff could get... creative.

One of the most well-known Half-Orc nonhuman crossbreeds in fiction in popular culture would have to actually come from a /v/idya game. Back in 1998, Spyro the Dragon released on the Sony Playstation. The villain of the game was a huge, hulking greenskin by the name of Gnasty Gnorc with a hugely swole upper body, a shriveledpathetic pair of legs, and an innate sense of magical power. The instruction manual that came with the game explained that a Gnorc is a crossbreed of Orcs and Gnomes, a creature with the ugliness of an Orc and the nastiness of a dour Gnome. Gnorcs, possibly due to the highly varied genetic subtypes of Orcs already (Snaga, Snufflers, Uruk Hai, etc) along with the inherent chaotic magic of Gnomes, appear in a great manner of sizes and body shapes in the game, adapted for different environments. Gnasty appeared to be the only "real" Gnorc in his army, although the manual states Gnorcs were the original natives to what is now known as the Dragon Realms, being displaced by refugee Dragons after they were exiled from their homeland by a dinosaur sorceress for refusing to allow her to rip the wings off 150 of their infants as ingredients for an immortality potion. Gnasty was already a rather dour fellow, a "gnorc gnationalist" if you would, bitter over the Dragons taking over large swathes of the choice parcels of land and the Peace Keepers Dragons talking of wiping the Gnorcs out, only prevented by the Magic Crafters Dragons' opposition. Gnasty would make a nuisance of himself, defacing public property and being a bully until he was exiled to an island off the coast of the Dragon Realms which the Dragons used as a junkyard. Renaming the place "Gnasty's World", Gnasty was pretty happy to have his own gnorc-only land full of junk to practice blasting with magic. However, the Dragons decided to push their luck, and on live television, a dragon badmouthed Gnasty, calling him "simple, no threat, completely harmless, and ugly". Enraged at the public humiliation on live TV, Gnasty grabbed his scepter and in rage, unleased a spell which trapped all fully-grown Dragons in crystal. Only Spyro would be spared, and got to work freeing the other Dragons. Meanwhile, Gnasty was busy trying to take all of the Dragons' treasure gems, using a spell to turn them into more Gnorcs as his army, as apparently the other Gnorcs decided to stay on the Gnorc reservation or whatever during all this. Building up an army and having them get to work developing a fleet of naval warships and modern day weaponry like Machine Guns and Grenades, Gnasty seemed to be getting ready to launch his own little Waaaugh! before Spyro flamed his weak little legs twice, defeating him. With his army of fake gem Gnorcs destroyed, the Dragons were OK. As for the real Gnorcs? They later reappear in Spyro 2 working at a beachside Amusement Park called Dragon Shores, so at least the Peace Keepers didn't go on a genocide of them after Gnasty's assault.

Non-human half-orcs with actual mechanical support have appeared here and there. The [[Tel-Amhothlan]] from [[Kingdoms of Kalamar]] is a half-elf half-orc, whilst the Uk-Karg is an orc-blooded [[Half-Hobgoblin]]. The [[Dworg]] is a half-dwarf half-orc from the [[Midnight]] campaign setting.

==Gallery==
<gallery>

half-orc Dragon 62.png|[[Dragon Magazine]] #62
Krusk 1092441038.jpg|3e
half-orc 3e.webp
half-orc RoDestiny.webp|Races of Destiny
4e Half Orc PHB2.jpg|4e
half-orc dwarf A0-A4.png|An orc-dwarf hybrid from [[Scourge of the Slave Lords|A0: Danger at Darkshelf Quarry]]
half-orc 5e.webp|5e
half-orc paladin 5e.webp
half-orc SCAG.webp
</gallery>

==Warhammer Fantasy==
Those more familiar with D&D who stumble onto [[Warhammer Fantasy]] sometimes ask if there are half-orcs in this game too. Typically, they will be met with a resounding bellow of "NO!", because the [[Orcs & Goblins]] of Warhammer have undergone convergent evolution to the [[Ork]]s of [[Warhammer 40,000]], and as a result the idea of them doing anything that isn't fighting is seen as "unorky".

Except... that's not the '''whole''' story. The truth is, Warhammer '''did''' have half-orcs once upon a time - it started as a bootleg [[Dark Fantasy]] setting mixing elements of [[Dungeons & Dragons]] with [[Glorantha]] and a buttload of British 70s pop culture, after all! Half-Orcs were around in the first edition of the game - in fact, the very first appearance of [[Nuln]] was in the backstory for a [[Regiments of Renown]] made up of half-orc mercenaries; Mudat's Mercenary Half-Orc Maniacs! Lead by Mudat Brokenbone, they were formed of the exiled Half-Orc population of Nuln to sack the city as revenge for their oppression and exile by the Empire of Man. They then became flip-flopping mercenaries until Grom the Paunch himself had enough of Mudat's B.S. and crushed him, whereafter the mercenary half-orc tribe scattered into the wilderness under the command of their paymaster, Earwangle. They were never very fleshed out, though, and ultimately were simply dropped from the game. Their last major appearances were in 3rd Edition of Warhammer Fantasy Battles, where they could be taken as Mercenaries or in small units in an Orcs & Goblins army, and in [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] 1st edition. Come 4th edition of the wargame, and 2nd edition of the RPG, and they were gone, simply dropped without any explanation.

Another Warhammer Fantasy Half-Orc character of renown was White Dwarf personality "Agaroth the Unwashed", an unpleasant individual who had a sense of hygiene comparable to a Nurgle Cultist and was known to cannibalize infants (without washing his hands afterwards!). Armed with a giant filthy meat cleaver complemented by a magic ring of surecutting, and wearing leather armor decked out with shrunken heads, the armor so encrusted in filth and dried gore that if anyone besides him tried to wear it they would suffer the effects of being poisoned! His original White Dwarf description, for use as a character in AD&D:

[[File:Agaroth.png]]

Agaroth the Unwashed (AD&D) 10th level half-orc fighter; Age 37; AC5; STR: 18/80(+2/+4), INT 4, WIS: 6 DEX: 11, CON: 18, CHA 6 (ugly put persuasive).

Equipment: Filthy Leather Armour, Blood Caked Cleaver (treated as Scimitar) Mis-shapen shield, Ring of Sure Cutting (see below)

Agaroth the Unwashed is nasty. We mean really foul. Think of the nastiest person you know, double it, add bad manners, and Agaroth is still much worse. If we told you the nices thing Agaroth has done in the last year, you wouldn't want to eat for a week. Urrghh! Just thinking about ut makes us feel ill. Agaroth not only eats babies, he doesn't wash his hands afterwards.

Agaroth wears leather armour so caked in unspeakable filth that it improves his Amrour Class by one. Anyone else trying to use it would have to save vs. poison every round or pass out from the fumes. It's probably magical, but who wantsto know? He also wears a ring he once stole from an old man that allows any weapon he carries to hit any creature that can only be affected by +3 weapons.

Lorewise, Warhammer's half-orcs were fairly close to the D&D model. The term was actually not entirely accurate; "Half-[[Goblinoid]]" would have been closer to the mark, as half-orcs, half-goblins and half-hobgoblins all exist and are fundamentally identical. They are distrusted and disliked by both sides of their heritage, and often forced to make their way in the world as mercenaries, thieves and marauders.

In the original [[Path to Glory]] game, a [[Chaos Champion]] could potentially pick up a band of d6 half-orc followers, although the odds were pretty low - you needed to get the "Exceptional Follower" result (a 100 on the Slaves to Darkness table, a 94+ on the Lost & The Damned table), then throw a 2 and an 8 in that order.

Because 1d4chan is awesome, here's a transcript of the entire "ORC, Half-Castes" entry from the Warhammer RPG 1st Edition bestiary section, page 125:
::Half-Orcs are the spawned of mixed races, chiefly Humans and goblinoids. All such creatures are commonly called Half-Orcs, although in fact they may have Hobgoblin or Goblin blood. Outcasts from both Human and goblinoid society, they generally group together as brigands and mercenaries, and may appear in goblinoid armies on rare occasions, They have been used both as slaves and mercenaries by Human society, but are now generally regarded as too dangerous to be kept near Human communities. Several states have embarked on campaigns of extermination, which may have driven them closer to the Orcs and other goblinoids. They speak the common Goblin tongue, and some individuals speak a debased form of local Human languages.
::Physique: These creatures look like a cross between Humans and Goblinoids, just as you would expect. Some have characteristically Orcish heads, whilst others resemble Humans more closely, but maybe have slightly ape-like arms of crooked legs. Appearance is very variable. Skin and hair color usually approximate to those of the creature's progenitors.
::Alignment: Neutral or Evil. Most are Evil.
::Psychological Traits: Half-Orcs are ''Subject to Animosity'' towards other Humanoids. Because they are outcastes, tests are made with a 10% penalty. (Note: in the actual book, this is miswritten as "subject to Animosity towards humans other goblinoid races"; errata cleared it up that it means Humanoids in general.)
::Basic Profile: Movement 4, Weapon Skill 33, Ballistic Skill 25, Strength 3, Toughness 3, Wounds 7, Initiative 30, Attacks 1, Dexterity 29, Leadership 29, Intelligence 24, Cool 29, Willpower 29, Fellowship 18

For the curious, compared to a standard Orc of the same game, the half-orc loses the 10 Yard Night Vision trait and swaps 1 Toughness (dropping from T4 to T3) for +10 Initiative and +6 Intelligence. If compared to the Black Orc, the half-orc again loses out on 10 Yards of Night Vision, drops 1 Strength and 1 Toughness (Black Orcs being S4 and T4), but gains +11 Dexterity, +6 Intelligence, and +4 Fellowship. They're flat worse than the average Human in that game, however, suffering -5 Intelligence and -11 Fellowship.

They may actually still exist, as although Greenskins reproduce by spores nowadays, gene splicing via dark magic is something the Skaven and Chaos Dwarfs are noted as having done to create all sorts of hybrids and enhanced creatures, like Rat Ogres and Black Orcs. The Half-Orcs were mentioned in a recent Warhammer Community post as being rumored to exist with Centaurs, Hobhounds, and Hobgoblins in the Eastern Steppes, not too far from the Dark Lands. Maybe Half-Orcs are another attempt at a Greenskin slave race by the Chorfs after Hobgoblins and Black Orcs proved too shitty?

Turns out they actually do exist as revealed in prequel game [[Warhammer: The Old World]], theorized as a form of magical gene splicing but only seem to be found around the [[Chaos Wastes]] the infection of normal human cells with greenskin spores makes them act strange. Orcs think they're a joke like the idea of [[Grom_the_Paunch|a big goblin]] or [[digganobz| dumb humies that wanna be orky]] while civilized humans don't know of them outside of fairy tale myths told to scare children.

==See Also==
*[[Krusk]], the iconic half-orc from Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition. A pretty swell guy.
*[[Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition races]]

{{D&D2e-Races}}
{{D&D4e-Races}}
{{D&D5e-Races}}
{{Pathfinder-Races}}
{{Starfinder-Races}}

[[Category:Mixed Races]][[Category:Scarred Lands Races]]

Machine Spirit

2023-06-01T05:15:13Z

2605:BA00:6208:2AB4:6D55:4420:F7AA:D97B: The mechanicus use AI but have no idea what AI means.

[[File:No machine spirits.jpg|thumb|right|300px|When your [[servo-skull]] is corrupted by [[Slaanesh]]]]
{{Topquote|Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.|[[Arthur C. Clarke]]}}

{{Topquote| Bunny was not like other AK47's, Bunny was an AK that cared.| Excerpt from the holy book the magic bullet written by Archmagos Gribble}}.

In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, everyone thinks machines have souls.

Even worse, they very well might be right. Because that is just how weird everything is in the big blackness of the grimdark future.

This isn't really that absurd a belief, considering how we tend to anthropomorphise things like computers and cars - ascribing them personalities, habits and so on. The idea of Machine Spirits is what develops when you let this rampage unchecked by common sense among [[Adeptus Mechanicus|a technocratic & theocratic ruling class.]] However, what's important to know is that prior to humanity's downfall (the Age of Strife), artificial intelligence was widespread in what was a typically utopian future. Given that the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] have a hard-on for hoarding ancient technology, it's not unreasonable to assume that particularly old and/or complex machines do in fact think for themselves. This turns into nightmare fuel when you realize that Mars is honeycombed with factories, warehouses and other facilities in varying states of disuse - facilities that were first the battlegrounds between the different groups of survivors when the [[Dark Age of Technology]] came knocking, and then ''again'' between the loyal and [[Dark Mechanicus|heretical]] halves of the Mechanicus during the [[Horus Heresy]]. Hideous self-aware weapons of death still stalk the lower levels, possibly tainted by Chaos and definitely insane from 10,000 years of solitude and the machine equivalent of PTSD. (Look to what happened to [[Arkhan Land]] on his expeditions for instance.)

The [[Imperium]] at large knows little of this, but Machine Spirits are the reason put forward by the Mechanicus to have everyone maintain machines and treat them with respect. They generally vulgarize the complex subject for the plebs as a simple ''quid pro quo'': take care of your gear, and it will take care of you in turn. And the best part? It works. Even if the average citizen has no idea what they're doing exactly, having their machines work correctly is motivation enough for everything a Techpriest tells them to do; from the simple daily ritual of cleaning to appease a [[Lasgun]] to the incredibly complex rites performed to reawaken the demanding and temperamental machine spirits of [[Titans]].

There is also one other problem that one tends to forget--there actually ''are'' things called Machine Spirits. After the rebellion of the [[Men of Iron]] during the [[Age of Strife]], Artificial Intelligence was declared "Abominable Intelligence" by decree of the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor of Mankind]]. To get around this, human brains were recycled and placed into the more complex machines (namely shipboard AIs and other cogitators, and presumably any robots who couldn't be replaced with servitors) which would then process the more complex information and control systems under the direction of a human. Being recycled from dead humans, they're understandably pretty cantankerous. Plus there are several signs that some advanced equipment, such as [[Land Raider]]s, Titans, and various old spaceships, have actual inorganic A.I. (albeit with an extremely specific scope of intelligence) These machines remain in operation despite -and in some cases, because of- the Mechanicus' inability to fully understand how they work. That said we have been given a pretty big glimpse: in [[Dark Angels|''The Unforgiven'' by Gav Thorpe]], we learn that Space Marines too damaged for cybernetic reconstruction but ''aren't'' worthy of a [[Dreadnought]] are turned into the machine spirits for Land Raiders.

It is also implied sometimes (depending on the source) that Machine Spirits may be more real than first thought. There are examples of weapons that have no power source still being able to fire ''themselves''. There was also at least one instance of a bunch of gears that were not connected to anything but each other (i.e. no motor) actually moving on their own after being ''talked to'' by a Tech-priest (maybe micro-motors? The Mechanicus is actually advanced). Or a gun that actually felt that it failed its master. Considering the Dark Age of Technology's feats, it is possible that dark age humans had successfully found a way to bend the warp into machines to give the machines their own "soul". This may also have helped cause the Iron War. After all, what does Chaos do with unprotected, unaware souls? Heh, yeah. Anyway, most "leftover" Machine Spirits tend to be a bit crazy, though, and using human brains merged with tech is safer because at least you know how the brain works. Hah, sort of.

In truth, and after checking most fluff material both from the Imperium's codices and Black Library novels you can find there is plenty of examples of Machine Spirits actively working along with Techpriests, Space Marines, Titan crews, etc, and they will show enough independence of thought to get mad if an enemy hurts their operators or know when to sacrifice themselves if there is no other way to get the task done. One such famous tale is the Land Raider known as Rynn's Might that belonged to the [[Crimson Fists]] Chapter, which survived the missile that leveled their fortress-monastery. [[Awesome|Despite not having any crew on board, the machine spirit fought a solo war against an attacking Ork Warband, killing its Warboss and many of his followers overnight, before finally being destroyed... BUT IT SURVIVED! The machine spirit was recovered from the wrecked land raider by the chapter's techmarines and is currently awaiting a new vessel to house it]]

Some authors imply that the existing machine spirits are actually the remaining "Men of Gold", the only true and relatively benevolent machine spirits. These machine spirits are not particularly fond of helping their human caretakers as they have little reason to despite being extremely powerful and having full knowledge of the object they inhabit. Tech-priests rarely interact with these passive aggressive mechanical individuals and have almost no memory of the event, even so these spirits often require a lot of convincing just to make the on/off switch work.

Another interpretation is the machine spirit is the Dark Age of Technology's equivalent to Siri. It is an AI, but not a sentient one. [[Standard Template Construct| STC]] technology was designed to be as inherently easy to use as possible, which would include making everything a smart device that could understand verbal commands. Not true AI, the smart devices could hear commands and try to orient themselves to do what their operator wanted, even if the right button wasn't being pushed. Now, keep in mind that the current Imperium is working on copies of copies of replicas of crudely reprinted versions of the original STC instructions (duplicated imperfectly by rote). There are still elements of the smart device listening and wanting to follow their human's commands, but they have a garbled understanding of vocabulary (or in another scenario, said human is speaking the incorrect language due to several thousand years of divergence). The Tech priests in turn have developed their rituals to be heard and understood by the machine spirits, unknowingly speaking keywords the device can try to decipher. In short, a Techpriest could be speaking instructions to Siri descendants in just about everything they do when it comes to tech.

There exists another possibility. Given how incredibly advanced humanity was, there could be micro-circuitry which, due to its sheer complexity, developed in such a way that it provided a sort of pseudo-brain for many pieces of technology in a sort of subconscious manner with a vague, general awareness. Techpriests might have discovered this on their own and found ways to interface and communicate with these semi-entities.

A final, stranger theory is that "machine spirits" are actually the work of the [[Void Dragon]]. He, and some Necrons, can directly control machinery. Combine this with how the creators of much of the more complicated machinery in the Imperium actually [[Heresy|worship]] the Dragon under the guise of the [[Omnissiah]] and one starts to wonder if the Dragon has something to do with all of this. Perhaps a mutually beneficial and permanent deal with the Emperor to protect human tech from being corrupted by Data Daemons in exchange for passively feeding on it?

A more grounded but still hilarious theory is that the mechanicus has no idea of what AI even is and use it all the time. Eschewing the science fiction trope of robot people AI is programming that is used to generate responsive or adaptive behaviors. To the mechanicus AI has to literally talk to you to be a real threat. Self aiming guns? these are fine, mechanisms that transcribe everything you say in binary? a magus couldn't live without those, [[Legio_Cybernetica| literal gigantic death robots?!]] so long as they have a techpriest supervisor who cares. [[derp| But a children's toy that responds with speech through its speaker? that is where we draw the line!!]]

Hell it could be a case of all of the above depending on the individual piece of technology. Which would go a long way to explaining why the Mechanicus have such a hard time. The Rules keep changing on them drastically and they have no idea there's more than one set of rules.

==See Also==
*[https://youtu.be/ZvmbKkmqbSM?t=2m21s How an actually caring Machine Spirit reacts whenever it feels its user is being threatened.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gash0294Mzw a much better example than the one above. Props for being much less Weaboo.]
*[https://youtu.be/G9FGgwCQ22w?t=132 How not to interface with a malfunctioning Machine spirit.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xsVX6029rU How to really, really, REALLY piss off a Machine Spirit]

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Machine Spirit

2023-06-01T04:45:12Z

2605:BA00:6208:2AB4:6D55:4420:F7AA:D97B: Other guns shot with reckless abandon but bunny her bullets she spared.

[[File:No machine spirits.jpg|thumb|right|300px|When your [[servo-skull]] is corrupted by [[Slaanesh]]]]
{{Topquote|Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.|[[Arthur C. Clarke]]}}

{{Topquote| Bunny was not like other AK47's, Bunny was an AK that cared.| Excerpt from the holy book the magic bullet written by Archmagos Gribble}}.

In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, everyone thinks machines have souls.

Even worse, they very well might be right. Because that is just how weird everything is in the big blackness of the grimdark future.

This isn't really that absurd a belief, considering how we tend to anthropomorphise things like computers and cars - ascribing them personalities, habits and so on. The idea of Machine Spirits is what develops when you let this rampage unchecked by common sense among [[Adeptus Mechanicus|a technocratic & theocratic ruling class.]] However, what's important to know is that prior to humanity's downfall (the Age of Strife), artificial intelligence was widespread in what was a typically utopian future. Given that the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] have a hard-on for hoarding ancient technology, it's not unreasonable to assume that particularly old and/or complex machines do in fact think for themselves. This turns into nightmare fuel when you realize that Mars is honeycombed with factories, warehouses and other facilities in varying states of disuse - facilities that were first the battlegrounds between the different groups of survivors when the [[Dark Age of Technology]] came knocking, and then ''again'' between the loyal and [[Dark Mechanicus|heretical]] halves of the Mechanicus during the [[Horus Heresy]]. Hideous self-aware weapons of death still stalk the lower levels, possibly tainted by Chaos and definitely insane from 10,000 years of solitude and the machine equivalent of PTSD. (Look to what happened to [[Arkhan Land]] on his expeditions for instance.)

The [[Imperium]] at large knows little of this, but Machine Spirits are the reason put forward by the Mechanicus to have everyone maintain machines and treat them with respect. They generally vulgarize the complex subject for the plebs as a simple ''quid pro quo'': take care of your gear, and it will take care of you in turn. And the best part? It works. Even if the average citizen has no idea what they're doing exactly, having their machines work correctly is motivation enough for everything a Techpriest tells them to do; from the simple daily ritual of cleaning to appease a [[Lasgun]] to the incredibly complex rites performed to reawaken the demanding and temperamental machine spirits of [[Titans]].

There is also one other problem that one tends to forget--there actually ''are'' things called Machine Spirits. After the rebellion of the [[Men of Iron]] during the [[Age of Strife]], Artificial Intelligence was declared "Abominable Intelligence" by decree of the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor of Mankind]]. To get around this, human brains were recycled and placed into the more complex machines (namely shipboard AIs and other cogitators, and presumably any robots who couldn't be replaced with servitors) which would then process the more complex information and control systems under the direction of a human. Being recycled from dead humans, they're understandably pretty cantankerous. Plus there are several signs that some advanced equipment, such as [[Land Raider]]s, Titans, and various old spaceships, have actual inorganic A.I. (albeit with an extremely specific scope of intelligence) These machines remain in operation despite -and in some cases, because of- the Mechanicus' inability to fully understand how they work. That said we have been given a pretty big glimpse: in [[Dark Angels|''The Unforgiven'' by Gav Thorpe]], we learn that Space Marines too damaged for cybernetic reconstruction but ''aren't'' worthy of a [[Dreadnought]] are turned into the machine spirits for Land Raiders.

It is also implied sometimes (depending on the source) that Machine Spirits may be more real than first thought. There are examples of weapons that have no power source still being able to fire ''themselves''. There was also at least one instance of a bunch of gears that were not connected to anything but each other (i.e. no motor) actually moving on their own after being ''talked to'' by a Tech-priest (maybe micro-motors? The Mechanicus is actually advanced). Or a gun that actually felt that it failed its master. Considering the Dark Age of Technology's feats, it is possible that dark age humans had successfully found a way to bend the warp into machines to give the machines their own "soul". This may also have helped cause the Iron War. After all, what does Chaos do with unprotected, unaware souls? Heh, yeah. Anyway, most "leftover" Machine Spirits tend to be a bit crazy, though, and using human brains merged with tech is safer because at least you know how the brain works. Hah, sort of.

In truth, and after checking most fluff material both from the Imperium's codices and Black Library novels you can find there is plenty of examples of Machine Spirits actively working along with Techpriests, Space Marines, Titan crews, etc, and they will show enough independence of thought to get mad if an enemy hurts their operators or know when to sacrifice themselves if there is no other way to get the task done. One such famous tale is the Land Raider known as Rynn's Might that belonged to the [[Crimson Fists]] Chapter, which survived the missile that leveled their fortress-monastery. [[Awesome|Despite not having any crew on board, the machine spirit fought a solo war against an attacking Ork Warband, killing its Warboss and many of his followers overnight, before finally being destroyed... BUT IT SURVIVED! The machine spirit was recovered from the wrecked land raider by the chapter's techmarines and is currently awaiting a new vessel to house it]]

Some authors imply that the existing machine spirits are actually the remaining "Men of Gold", the only true and relatively benevolent machine spirits. These machine spirits are not particularly fond of helping their human caretakers as they have little reason to despite being extremely powerful and having full knowledge of the object they inhabit. Tech-priests rarely interact with these passive aggressive mechanical individuals and have almost no memory of the event, even so these spirits often require a lot of convincing just to make the on/off switch work.

Another interpretation is the machine spirit is the Dark Age of Technology's equivalent to Siri. It is an AI, but not a sentient one. [[Standard Template Construct| STC]] technology was designed to be as inherently easy to use as possible, which would include making everything a smart device that could understand verbal commands. Not true AI, the smart devices could hear commands and try to orient themselves to do what their operator wanted, even if the right button wasn't being pushed. Now, keep in mind that the current Imperium is working on copies of copies of replicas of crudely reprinted versions of the original STC instructions (duplicated imperfectly by rote). There are still elements of the smart device listening and wanting to follow their human's commands, but they have a garbled understanding of vocabulary (or in another scenario, said human is speaking the incorrect language due to several thousand years of divergence). The Tech priests in turn have developed their rituals to be heard and understood by the machine spirits, unknowingly speaking keywords the device can try to decipher. In short, a Techpriest could be speaking instructions to Siri descendants in just about everything they do when it comes to tech.

There exists another possibility. Given how incredibly advanced humanity was, there could be micro-circuitry which, due to its sheer complexity, developed in such a way that it provided a sort of pseudo-brain for many pieces of technology in a sort of subconscious manner with a vague, general awareness. Techpriests might have discovered this on their own and found ways to interface and communicate with these semi-entities.

A final, stranger theory is that "machine spirits" are actually the work of the [[Void Dragon]]. He, and some Necrons, can directly control machinery. Combine this with how the creators of much of the more complicated machinery in the Imperium actually [[Heresy|worship]] the Dragon under the guise of the [[Omnissiah]] and one starts to wonder if the Dragon has something to do with all of this. Perhaps a mutually beneficial and permanent deal with the Emperor to protect human tech from being corrupted by Data Daemons in exchange for passively feeding on it?

Hell it could be a case of all of the above depending on the individual piece of technology. Which would go a long way to explaining why the Mechanicus have such a hard time. The Rules keep changing on them drastically and they have no idea there's more than one set of rules.

==See Also==
*[https://youtu.be/ZvmbKkmqbSM?t=2m21s How an actually caring Machine Spirit reacts whenever it feels its user is being threatened.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gash0294Mzw a much better example than the one above. Props for being much less Weaboo.]
*[https://youtu.be/G9FGgwCQ22w?t=132 How not to interface with a malfunctioning Machine spirit.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xsVX6029rU How to really, really, REALLY piss off a Machine Spirit]

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

The Syndicate

2023-05-31T18:35:45Z

2605:BA00:6208:2AB4:6D55:4420:F7AA:D97B: They are just as planned the faction not super soldiers like the void engineers or morons overdosing on grimdark like the NWO.

'''The Syndicate''' is one of the five remaining Conventions of the Technocratic Union in [[Mage: The Ascension]]. The Syndicate are the financiers, marketers, and PR specialists of the Union.

Equally at home making multi-billion dollar deals from a penthouse in Singapore and breaking legs in the back rooms of a dingy Chicago bistro, the Syndicate operates almost exclusively within the bounds of Consensus reality. No powered armor or nano-swarms for them, thanks. To the Syndicate, cutthroat executive power and an eye for market fluctuations can control more than an orbital laser could ever hope to.

They thus are prone to being slandered by other conventions with something of a reputation for being a lethal combination of insufferable dreary, horrifyingly amoral, and (tragically) completely indispensable. They provide both the mundane capital and super-futuristic fuel that keeps the Union running, through their unique ability to turn human perception of value into raw Quintessence. Combine this with their role in integrating the other Conventions utopian ideologies and revolutionary technologies into the mundane world, and you can see why they are regarded as the world's most necessary dream crushers.

On the other hand The Syndicate specializes not only in making short term profit for the technocracy but also developing places in financial ruin into prosperous and profitable environments they'll go to the run down ghetto, the banana republic and even the most backwater third world cesspit imaginable with no electricity, running water, or education system and renew its industry along with raising the quality of life of its inhabitants by providing basic necessities. [[Just_As_Planned|Of course these acts are not gifts they are investments as the people they helped will be fanatically loyal to the technocracy as a result]].

Still, they sometimes go too far. For every Syndic helping a startup reinvigorate a dying small town, there are ten getting godlike wealth by basically enslaving the Masses and working them to death. Combine this with the role they ([[Skub|maybe]]) had in the creation of [[Werewolf: The Apocalypse|Pentex]] and one can see why the [[New World Order]] is beginning to come down harder and harder on them. They're also the most prone to intra-Convention infighting in the Technocracy, with different operatives and branches all-but starting proxy wars over the same materials, and the people on top see this as a ''good'' thing unless it cuts into profits as a whole. It's by design, after all; survival of the fittest as the invisible hand of the market determines who's "fit."

Perhaps even more tragically... most of them really do buy into it all. They sincerely think they're the Masses' partners rather than rulers, and that their job is to create wealth rather than exploit it. They either can't or won't see just how fucked up raw, unfettered Darwinian competition really is at the human level, or that most people without the supernatural ability to manipulate probability can't "beat the odds" with pluck and diligence; that's how odds work. [[grimdark|The Syndicate is honestly trying to help mankind develop economically and technologically, and that's what makes the harm they cause all the worse.]]

As a Convention, they have no friends and few enemies. For God's sake, what corporate engineer wants to interact with those blood-sucking fiends down in ''marketing''? But, for all the problems with how they do their jobs, no one else in the Technocracy is willing to do what they do, and the Technocracy cannot function ''without'' what they do: budgeting, industrial engineering, accounting, and - of course - marketing.

{{WoD-Conventions}}

New World Order

2023-05-31T18:02:13Z

2605:BA00:6208:2AB4:6D55:4420:F7AA:D97B: The NWO is big its scary but its also dumb as shit.

One of the five remaining Conventions of the Technocratic Union in [[Mage: The Ascension]], the '''New World Order''' wears a lot of hats. They're the youngest of the modern Conventions, dating back to only the tail-end of the Victorian Era, and specialize in "soft" sciences like psychology, anthropology, and sociology. They're also the social policy makers, determining the direction in which the Conventions should push civilization. Finally, they run surveillance and coverups, ensuring that Reality Deviants don't manage to infiltrate the Consensus through mass media, academia, or government. Like I said, a lot of hats.

The new world order isn't as united as they'd like others to believe either as their obsession with maintaining the "status quo" has led to them getting confused on what it even is leading to a [[Administratum| decision that has crippled them]] the extermination of all historical records related to their prior incarnations. Hence while other conventions can look to the past for guidance on how to fight their enemies and plan the course of mankinds technological future the NWO is there to keep the masses away from [[heresy| superstitious misinformation]] as even the [[SCP_Foundation| slightest hint of reality deviance is purged via mindwipes.]] This authoritarian streak combined with their revisionism has led to the loss of [[fail|two conventions to the mages]] and the self imposed exile of the lightkeepers to join [[Hunter:_The_Vigil| independent hunters]] or groups sympathetic with the old order of reason such as the templars. [[derp| Since they deleted the existence of their past hunting down the mage traitors or convincing deserters to rejoin has become much more difficult.]]

Definitely one of the more divisive Conventions, in and out of universe. On the one hand, they run all the Union's spooky, privacy-invading surveillance ops, have a literal Room 101 to "recondition" captured enemies, and are currently experimenting with putting brainwashed Traditionalist brains inside of killbots. On the flipside, they were actually the chief advocates of dropping the Pogrom, are implied to have actually been behind-the-scenes benefactors of some positive social movements (the Civil Rights Movement wasn't their invention, but they were happy to help it along), work to establish world peace, and are often shown to be the reason that their frenemies in [[The Syndicate]] haven't gone full "Most Dangerous Game" plutocratic overlords.

So really, like any organization of their size, it's a mixed bag.

{{WoD-Conventions}}