2d4chan - User contributions [en]

Slaanesh

2016-03-28T06:08:32Z

2605:E000:7ECF:7F00:4920:6168:2409:451E: /* Facts */

{{Promotions}}
{{heresy}}

[[File:Slaanesh_mark.png|center]]

<center>'''''DRUGS FOR THE DRUG GOD! RAPE FOR THE RAPE TRAIN! SMUT FOR THE SMUT THRONE! — The Motto that Slaneesh wants YOU to believe in'''''</center>

[[Image:Slaanesh_by_baklaher-d7dvohn.jpg |thumb|500px|center| Slaanesh...tempting you to join a [[rape|party in which you will never forget...]][[Rule 34|also now in even more NSFW!]]]]

''“To be loved, feelings must be rationed. To love, the doors of hysteria, fantasy, and madness may be flung open.”''
 -Anton LaVey

==Introduction==
[[Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|thumb|500px|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated]]]
Behold '''Slaanesh''', Chaos God of [[/d/|perversion]], [[Extra Heresy|shamelessness]], [[Furry|excess]] and [[Rebecca Black|the most disgusting Pop Music in the history of ever]]. Heretical Fa/tg/uys cannot resist the most disgusting [[heresy]] of masturbating furiously to Slaanesh and his/her [[daemonette]]s.

Slaanesh was born at <s>when in the 1800s, [[Tzeentch]] tricked major film producers to establish a colony in the anarchistic frontiers of California where they could practice their most lecherous vices</s> the fall of the [[Eldar]], when all their torture, [[rape]], S&M, bondage, decadence, eventually tore the fabric of reality a new one and gave birth to Slaanesh along with the [[Eye of Terror]], killing the majority of their race. As a result, Slaanesh owns almost every last Eldar soul in the entire galaxy. In the event of an Eldar dying without a spirit stone, he becomes Slaanesh's sex toy for all of eternity day and night forever and ever (excluding exodites, who's soul will automatically go to their planet's world spirit). That is why Eldar are willing to manipulate entire worlds into [[Exterminatus|exterminating]] each other just to save one of their own. The [[Dark Eldar]] takes this up to eleven by sacrificing other souls to Slaanesh so that they don't get eaten. [[Khorne]] hates Slaanesh because s/he's a prissy faggot, but Slaanesh doesn't care about Khorne, or any of the other Chaos Gods, until s/he's done playing with herself, which is about 1 nanosecond every millennium, so about 13 nanoseconds total so far. Rumors that their relationship is beyond hate and occasional angry sex are just that; Khorne is not telling.

Of course, that paragraph is Slaanesh's WH40K history. In WHFB, Slaanesh has no real backstory and sort of just came out of nowhere like the other Chaos gods.

Among other things, Slaanesh is the god of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. He/she/it is fueled by excess and pleasure, which means gratuitous amounts of anything generally fall under its influence. This actually becomes a big problem for Khorne, the God-Emperor of Mankind and the other Chaos Gods, whose worshipers have to constantly try not to enjoy themselves too much lest they end up feeding the Warp's whipping bitch. Especially when the Inquisition is all too enthusiastic in whipping heretics.

Many horny juveniles who have just found Warhammer seem to be obsessed with Slaanesh being a God(ess) of sexual pleasure. While [[fluff]] claims this is not true, in practical terms Slaanesh is the deity of pleasure, which can be broad. Pleasure can be derived from various sources, as such this can be anything from sex, eating, companionship, and so on and so forth. However, because Chaos is Chaos, Slaanesh is mostly associated with the extremes of pleasure. Lechery, gluttony, extreme masochism, and the likes, are the pleasures his/her/it's followers partake in because Slaanesh's credo is to experience everything to the fullest. This basically means: why settle for one loving wife to have sex with you when you can have a hive world of loving concubines to satiate your desires? Or why eat one disgustingly expensive luxury meal when you could eat a Paradise world's supply of the stuff? Why just resort to cutting yourself to feel the pleasure of pain when you could be chopping off lumps of your flesh to heighten the sensation of pain?

One would think that if, as claimed, Slaanesh were the lord of all ''pleasure'' then Slaanesh would be omnipotent because in the end, biological and psychological fact tells us that every living thing with a fucking Neuron does anything simply because to feel pleasure and escape pain (the "pleasure principle").

Even [[Khorne]], her opposite, feels pleasure in killing, and Tzeentch feels pleasure in [[Just as Planned]]. That is why 40k lore tends to focus on Slannesh as a God of the most disgusting pleasures ever, not as a God of all pleasure. Additionally, in the [[fluff]], it does state that most pleasures (like regular love or the desire to eat) that might be covered under the "pleasure principle" are too "weak" to sustain Slaanesh. Slaanesh being usually named the "God of Excess" it's more that he/she gains power from OVER-indulging in the small things like sex and eating, which in 40k is actually more rare than people would think. Considering that it's damn hard for anyone to get more than a piece of stale toast and a dry handjob before a grueling 48 hours of avoiding death in the name of the Emprah in the far corner of some forgotten forge-world, the only way to get enough sex, drugs, and partying in to impress Slaanesh on your average imperial world, is to be a ruthless, controlling, evil, bastard.

<s>{{BLAM|'''SLAANESH AND HIS/HER/ITS WORSHIPERS WILL BE YIFFED IN HELL!!!!'''}}</s> ''Awright, which one of you guys let the [[Commissar]] in here?'' '''My bad.''' <s>'''Yiffed in hell, you say? Oh, it sounds so... exciting. Sign me in!'''</s>{{BLAM|''' *BLAM*'''}}

==What? Warhammer?==

In the new [[Age of Sigmar]] [[Skub]]storm setting, Slaanesh has gone missing for unknown reasons. Some suspect it's been captured by the <strike>[[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|High Elves]]</strike> Aelfs while being glutted with the souls he/she/it was eating (See? This is why [[Khorne]] follows a strict diet with it comes to Khorne Flakes), while Slaanesh's followers think Malerion has something to do with it (the two possibilities aren't mutually exclusive). Thus Slaanesh has been removed from the Pantheon of Chaos and replaced by the [[Horned Rat]]. Derp.

Tyrion and Malerion worked together to capture Slaanesh, unknowningly helped along by the machinations of Tzeentch.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpryvDJSGT0 Most likely Slaanesh is being kept in a hidden warehouse while Tyrion works him/her over to make Slaanesh give back Aliathra's soul.]

There is speculation that Slaanesh has been removed as an active part of Age of Sigmar in some attempt by [[Games Workshop]] to make the game more accessible to children. [[Derp|Somehow, they failed to take into account that no game with such a high price of entry is going to be popular among kiddies anyways]]. They may be doing this so parents won't be put off by the game and be willing to buy it for their children and to get past the media watchdogs to make the game more mainstream; but that most likely won't work [[Games Workshop|due to reasons discussed on GW's page here]].

Yet hope for Slaanesh faction lovers still remains. According to the fluff available with Slaanesh missing his forces have split between those trying to find and free Slaanesh, those who are trying to claim their former masters position (currently this faction is being led by a Keeper of Secrets named Luxcious that wants to become the new god of depravity) and those who have begun worshiping Archaon as the new Slaanesh. This last faction is currently the biggest and is the main Slaanesh force fighting Order, though Archaon is not liking that there are Slaanesh wannabes trying to take his new position. From this development, in addition to Khorne's betrayal during the war with Order and the inclusion of back-stabbing Skaven into the Chaos faction seems to imply that chaos civil wars are on the horizon and Chaos will not be the united front that Order experienced during the end times this time around.

== Followers ==
Slaanesh attracts mortal followers from those seeking to become charismatic and popular, but instead corrupts them to become [[Chris-Chan|colossal perverts]]; alternatively, he/she/it may attract followers from those who are already colossal perverts, and corrupt them to become more charismatic and popular. [[Just as planned]].

Slaanesh and Khorne actually compete for the same pool of followers more often than you'd think, which is part of their bitter rivalry. A good rule of thumb is this: if a warrior wants to be the ''best'', gets his thrills from making that perfect shot, that perfect move, to [[powergamer|hone his or her skills the sharpest they can ever be]], they're Slaaneshi. If the thrill lies in just killing people, the pure joy of murder with the skill just a way of facilitating that, they're Khornate. Slaaneshi types also get off on the sensory overload rather than actual killing, even pain. See the Emperor's Children who get carved up by Raven Guard and won't fight back because the feeling of lightning claws dicing them up is too damn blissful. They also get off on the reactions they get from others- for example, the loyalist who Lucius tricks into slaughtering his own men.

When things come to more "social" followers, Slaanesh competes with Tzeentch, as followers of both are known for being a silver-tongued manipulative dicks with a huge hard-on for power. Here difference lies in that Slaaneshi followers seek power for their own gain, while Tzeenchian often have more altruistic goals or are more interested in a process of gaining power than actually getting it, intentionally raising the challenge to impossible level just to feed their ambitions.

Slaanesh units are:
* '''Daemonettes''', hideous crab-clawed hermaphrodites or seductive scythe-clawed elf-girls depending on which fluff you choose to believe, fa/tg/uys love [[daemonette]]s and spend much time eagerly awaiting the drawfags to provide them with moar heresy. Some fluff seems to suggest that they're hot elf girls until they decide it's time to rip your face off, at which point they become something more akin to the BDSM glam-rock lobster women seen in the current models. Moreover, they're supposedly attractive to the beholder - this means that it is very likely that their appearance is entirely subject to the individual desires of whomever is perceiving them. This is represented by their hermaphroditic/androgynous appearance, supposedly rendering them attractive regardless of preference or sexuality. Their monstrous nature is a juxtaposition of slender sensuality and horrible, flesh-tearing daemonic claws. Like many daemons their appearance is supposed to be highly varied, which is never represented in the models.
* '''Fiends of Slaanesh''', looking like a bizarre cross between an aardvark and a scorpion, these units are best used for hit and run attacks against armour.
* '''Seekers of Slaanesh''', daemonettes mounted upon Steeds of Slaanesh; fast and lots of attacks for not much points, prone to dying in a hail of bolter fire.
* '''Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh''' Hard hitting squad-wipe unit, this is whom you call for when you need that pesky tarpit removed. Right now. From other end of the board. Be cautious though, these things need grimoire and preferrably invisibility to live since they are big targets with juicy 10 armor all round. Also never ever position yourself so that the enemy could have even remote chance of charging these things: even squad of retarded fire warriors can take these chariots down in melee if they get the charge. These things live and die by the hammer of wrath attacks, use them accordingly.
* '''[[Chaos Space Marines]]''', the traitor marines of the [[Emperor's Children|third legion]] worship Slaanesh exclusively, as do warbands such as the Angels of Ecstasy and the Flawless Host.
** '''[[Noise Marines]]''', the specialist traitors dedicated to Slaanesh, akin to Khorne's [[Berserkers]], Nurgle's [[Plague Marines]] or Tzeentch's [[Thousand Sons]]. Aural-focused traitors who specialise in using [[Sonic Weaponry]] because the cacophony is the only thing that can register on their jaded senses anymore.
* '''Keeper of Secrets''', the Greater Daemon of Slaanesh, like a daemonette on steroids, ecstasy and Viagra. They excel in being blindingly fast in movement and combat, depending on the army book and edition they have the edge in single combat with a Bloodthirster. One possessed the primarch [[Fulgrim]] (Though only for a short time) Fulgrim and the demon later became best Friends and merged into one, later the now demon Fulgrim would mortally wound [[Rowboat Girlyman]] (though since nobody saw what happen it possible Gulliman did it to himself),for which we should be all eternally grateful. In WHFB the demon gets its ass handed to it by lord Malekith.

== Facts ==
[[File:Nope.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Alright, who's next for "Purifying"?]]

* Slaanesh knows that you can't spell happiness without penis.
* Slaanesh turns all His/ Her followers into the opposite sex.
* Slaanesh's daemonettes possess men and then jack off.
* Slaanesh is bitching over the fact how his/her/its only representation in the DoW series was the [[Emperor's Children]] paint scheme. And they aren't even Slaaneshi like, they're just a generic chaos army. Although, he did grant favor to Eliphas for smashing a ton of soulstones.
**However, concerning stated above, the developers have added noise marines for Dawn of war 2: Retribution. This has made Slaanesh quite happy. However, he/she/it is still <s>pissed off of not getting enough representation</s> OFFENDED BY THIS SILENCE, considering Nurgle gets Plague Champion hero, the Plague Marine Tier 2 unit, and the Epic Great Unclean One daemon, Khorne then gets the Khornate Chaos Lord, Bloodletters and Bloodcrushers, while Tzeentch gets the Sorcerer hero, has the most effective upgrade for the basic CSM squad (Warpfire bolts make everything in front of them shit brix and was flat out broken in earlier versions of its introduction), and all of the Anti-armor upgrades, while he/she/it only gets a single unit that frankly eclipsed by either Plague Marines or generic Havocs with an autocannon.
* Charlie Sheen is His/Her/Its first true Daemon Prince.
* Slaanesh gets beaten up/off by all of the other Chaos Gods on a fairly regular basis, and gets off on it.
* If it exists, [[PROMOTIONS|Slaanesh faps/shlicks/shlaps to it]].
* Tzeentch likes to trick Slaanesh into fighting Khorne, Slaanesh always loses these fights and loses them hard. Tzeentch then gets a dose of lulz out of it. Slaanesh gets to take it hard. [[C.S.Goto| And this pleases him/her/it.]]
* Slaanesh is secretly depressed that he/she/it has no friends. Khorne is a dick, Tzeentch is the biggest dick there is, and Nurgle stole his Eldar goddess.
* Slaanesh gets bullied by all the other Chaos Gods constantly because none of them like him/her/it. This does not upset the balance, though, because Slaanesh likes BDSM where s/he was being bullied and tortured by the other Chaos Gods.
* Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because it's oh so easy to string him along with offers of porn, whores, BDSM and/or drugs.
* Khorne regularly cuts off Slaanesh's arms and beats him/her/it over the head with them (Again, this inadvertently makes Slaanesh orgasm).
* Slaanesh was using steroids when he/she/it killed the Eldar Gods, he/she/it couldn't really beat them all without using performance enhancing drugs.
** Slaanesh is always on drugs (Except psychiatric medication, they kill sex drive down to the very biology)
* Slaanesh attempted to fight the Nightbringer in a desperate attempt to win back some street cred, he/she/it got his/her/its left boob for his/her/its trouble. It hurt so bad/good that it retroactively cut off the left boobs of all of Slaanesh's greater daemons and that's why they all only have one boob (or six).
* Slaanesh's favourite films;
** Hellraiser: Slaanesh's number one film. In fact, He/she/it took a lot of inspiration on many of the movie's aspects... <strike>That is, of course, a lie. He actually ripped off Hellraiser.</strike> Hellraiser ripped him/her/it off. There are rumors that Slaanesh had a cameo appearance in the sequel dressed as a lozenge.
** A Serbian Film: Slaanesh's second favorite movie. She/He's already started putting NEWBORN PORN into her/his daily schedule.
** Pink Flamingos: Slaanesh's third favourite movie, which is actually a film adaptation of Slaanesh's daily journal. It shows parts of Slaanesh's daily life such as bestiality, scat fetishes and vore ([[FATAL|the actors in that scene had sex with each other while crushing a real-life chicken to death between them]]. Fortunately the cannibalism was fake). Slannesh especially enjoyed that the movie quotes him/her directly: ''"Blood does more than turn me on, it makes me cum. And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it. The taste of hot, freshly killed blood... Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth are my politics! Filth is my life! Take whatever you like."'' ([[FATAL|This was an actual line from the movie, the things I do for you people...]]), and that a (now-deceased) drag queen played the main character.
** A Clockwork Orange: One of Slaanesh's favorite movies; not so much the book it was adapted from as it was less about sex and more a commentary on the nature of morality. He/she/it likes to jerk-off at many of the movie's aspects, but more notably Malcolm Mcdowell's sexy face. He/she/it also finds the death of one of the characters totally hilarious, due to the fact that said character was killed by a giant rocking ceramic phallus straight to the face. '''BLOWJOB OF DEATH !!! LULZ !!!''' Unbelievable and improbable? Well here's evidence to prove it: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbRSag-L-GQ Giant rocking ceramic phallus attack !!!].
** The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Mostly because of Tim Curry (who is actually Slaanesh).
*** On that note, he appeared as something closer to his true form in the 1985 movie Legend; [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbknz3pcfPQ as a unicorn-killing big red devil who gets the hots for a princess].
** Caligula: The movie written by Gore Vidal for copious amounts of sex, incest and Malcolm Mcdowell, who Slaanesh is scouting out as a future Chaos champion.
** Event Horizon: A documentary of how He/She is directly responsible for fucking up humanities first venture into the warp.
* Slaanesh enjoys the Song of Ice and Fire books due to the copious amounts of incest and midget sex and the TV adaption Game of Thrones because they added sex scenes and casting several porn stars on top of this.
* Slaanesh gets ALL the pussy, though arguably just as much (if not more) cock.
* Slaanesh tried to seduce all of the remaining C'tan at once. Slaanesh ended up getting the pleasure sensors in its brain lobotomized. He/She/It got off on this.
* Despite psychic powers supposedly being Tzeentch's specialty, Slaanesh's tend to be the really [[cheese|cheesy]] ones. 3rd edition had a minor power called Siren, which forbids the caster from being shot at in the opponent's shooting phase (it's just as broken as it sounds). 4th edition has Lash of Submission, which the Chaos Marine tactics cover the usage of (in a nutshell, GW admitted they didn't realize how good it turned out to be and it was the most used on daemon princes even though the +1I from the required MoS wasn't very useful). And what about 6th edition? While Tzeentchian sorcerers focus on pwning the shit our of enemy with (mediocre) mind bullets and warp-beams, Slaaneshi ones pack a whole lot of cheesy buffs and debuffs, which makes them so much better. Similar deal in Fantasy, where Slaanesh, some of the time, offers a better selection of magic than Tzeentch.
** Still, he/she/it faps/shlicks/???-PROFIT at this.
* Slaanesh hates Warhammer Fantasy because all its worshipers are either very clearly only male or ugly shit-smeared Huns.
* Considering that Slaanesh is about excess, there might be several other types of Marines besides Noise Marines we don't know about:
** Smell Marines, who use gasses to do whatever they wish through peoples noses, whether it be death, insanity, paralysis, suggestibility, 'seeing colors', and so on, always permanent brain damage. This is a way to get Nurgle followers to convert.
**Sight Marines, whose weapons create wondrously intricate bloom and color effects of equally detailed and aesthetically (only to a branch of masochists masochists can't stand) pleasing. This is a way to get Khorne followers to convert.
** Touch Marines, who know the nervous system better than a Bene Gesserit, able to bring the mightiest warriors down with the right jab in the right spot, consumed with uncontrollable orgasms.
**Taste Marines, I am not describing that. Just leave it there. No one is dealing with this.
*Also, a former Tzeentch follower gone Slaaneshi would be incredibly dangerous: Tzeentch followers understand indeterminism (from a very distorted, cynical perspective) and also see knowledge as power per circumstance to win where force, charisma and economics cannot. A devout Slaaneshi seeks to experience everything. Thus a former Tzeentchian, already well read on enough to convince themselves they experienced it, or well read enough to steal peoples experiences, who became a hedonist addict as well would be left with one desire: to be omnipotent and thus be able to go beyond the limits of mortal imaginings in pursuit of understanding and experience for the sake of understanding and experience.
*Slaanesh tried to get in Khorne's head by seeking to understand the appeal of skulls. Instead Slaanesh got bored and invented the idea of skullfucking.
*[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Slaanesh Patrols will skull fuck your family.]]

== Gallery ==
{{heresy}}
{{promotions}}
<gallery>
Image:Slaaneshi.JPG|Slaanesh followers DO COCAINE!!!!!!!!
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|That's a real [[commissar]], just look at the [[hat]].
Image:Daemonette02.JPG|DDaemonette
Image:Daemonette01.JPG|It's not furry, you can totally fap to it.

Image:Daemonette.JPG
Image:Slaaneshi2.JPG|Why it's good to be Slaanesh follower.
Image:Daemonxmas copy.jpg|Slaanesh can be festive as well.
Image:Lurvemudkipz.JPG|It is possible that some [[pokémon]] are susceptible to Chaotic influence.

Image:Slaaneshi mudkips.JPG|Oh god. ;_;
Image:Slaanesh trainer.jpg|There is no excuse or explanation for this.
Image:Slaaneshijack copy.jpg|This image can be used to improve a bad thread.
Image:Irresistible.jpg|Simply Irresistible

Image:Dranon5.jpg|Mr Culexus' interpretation. Notice the bulge in the crotch.
Image:Not_too_abysmal_by_Mr_Culexus.jpg|Love can bloom in the galaxy of Transylvania
Image:1271157389405.jpg|What a Slaaneshi raptor would look like by non-GW canon.
Image:daemonette_minerva.png|Who else did you think furries worshiped?

Image:Slaanesh_LAWL.jpg|LAWL
Image:Trapmarine.jpg|Slaanesh Chaos Marines come with a little "extra"...
Image:Trapmarine_BW.jpg|... which may not be so "little".
Image:Daemonette_with_seeker_mount.jpg|She "rides" it... if you know what I mean... no seriously, zoom in if you don't believe me.

Image:643214 - Daemonette Eldar Warhammer 40k howling banshee warhammer yuliapw.jpg|The more common and usual fate of female Eldar.
Image:Slaanesh cosplay 1 by zk87-d2zo47q.jpg|Now 262.71% more real!
Image:Slaanesh Time.jpg|You might be mixing up love and lust.
Image:Slaanesh_miniature_closeup.jpg|Gimme some sugar

Image:Slaanesh+hr giger.jpg|H. R. Geiger is pleased
Image:Slaanesh by zk87-d2z4bpv.jpg|Lashes of Torment!
Image:Slaanesh-153102-SweetAngel.jpg|She Who Thirsts indeed
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Khorne is sooo tsundere...
Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated]

Image:Dark_Prince_of_Pleasure_Slaanesh_wfrp.jpg|From the old [[WFRP]] days
Image:MoeSlaanesh.png|How can you not want to serve something this <s>adorable</s> heretical?
Image:Anons_fall_to_Chaos.png|Anon heralds the Age of Strife.
Image:Champion of Slaanesh RL.png| We have the makings of a deamon prince here!
</gallery>

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!
Don't dream it, be it...
Don't dream it, be it...

{{ Template:ChaosGods}}

==See Also==
*[[Dechala]] - The oldest existing Chaos Champion special character of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[Azazel]] - The oldest existing [[Daemon Prince]] of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[The Masque]] - Slaanesh's former fav fab Daemonette stripper, and current PR rep.
*[[Sigvald]], Slaanesh's favorite not-Caligula/not-Joffrey.
*The [[Emperor's Children]] legion - The largest contingent of sick fucks on this side of the warp. And on that side of the warp.
*[[Fulgrim]] - Primarch of the largest contingent of sick fucks <strike>on this side (and that side) of the warp</strike> ever.
*[[Fabius Bile|Fabulous Bile]] - What you get by combining a self-obsessed homosexual and Dr. Frankenstein, only this one is played [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kane_%28wrestler%29 Glenn Jacobs] instead of Tim Curry.
*[[Lucius]] - Considered by some as the Sickest of Fucks amongst the living.
*[[Doomrider]] - He does COCAINE!
*[[Miriael Sabathiel]] - The <s>first</s> only Sister of Battle to fall to Chaos and champion of Slaanesh.
*[[Daemonette]] - Daemons of Slaanesh. Viewing said content is heretical, in 20 seconds or less after clicking the link, expect a squad of inquisitorial storm troopers to barge-in and blam you to hell.
*[[Reasonable Daemonette]] - Slaanesh's perversion knows no bounds. Hers does, and she respects yours.
*[[Loli D]] - The [[loli]] variant of the Slaaneshi Daemonette. Viewing said content is extra heretical. E-Commissars can and will [[Exterminatus|blam you from your monitor with the utmost prejudice]] if you click on this link.
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf
[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]

Slaanesh

2016-03-28T06:06:11Z

2605:E000:7ECF:7F00:4920:6168:2409:451E: /* Facts */

{{Promotions}}
{{heresy}}

[[File:Slaanesh_mark.png|center]]

<center>'''''DRUGS FOR THE DRUG GOD! RAPE FOR THE RAPE TRAIN! SMUT FOR THE SMUT THRONE! — The Motto that Slaneesh wants YOU to believe in'''''</center>

[[Image:Slaanesh_by_baklaher-d7dvohn.jpg |thumb|500px|center| Slaanesh...tempting you to join a [[rape|party in which you will never forget...]][[Rule 34|also now in even more NSFW!]]]]

''“To be loved, feelings must be rationed. To love, the doors of hysteria, fantasy, and madness may be flung open.”''
 -Anton LaVey

==Introduction==
[[Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|thumb|500px|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated]]]
Behold '''Slaanesh''', Chaos God of [[/d/|perversion]], [[Extra Heresy|shamelessness]], [[Furry|excess]] and [[Rebecca Black|the most disgusting Pop Music in the history of ever]]. Heretical Fa/tg/uys cannot resist the most disgusting [[heresy]] of masturbating furiously to Slaanesh and his/her [[daemonette]]s.

Slaanesh was born at <s>when in the 1800s, [[Tzeentch]] tricked major film producers to establish a colony in the anarchistic frontiers of California where they could practice their most lecherous vices</s> the fall of the [[Eldar]], when all their torture, [[rape]], S&M, bondage, decadence, eventually tore the fabric of reality a new one and gave birth to Slaanesh along with the [[Eye of Terror]], killing the majority of their race. As a result, Slaanesh owns almost every last Eldar soul in the entire galaxy. In the event of an Eldar dying without a spirit stone, he becomes Slaanesh's sex toy for all of eternity day and night forever and ever (excluding exodites, who's soul will automatically go to their planet's world spirit). That is why Eldar are willing to manipulate entire worlds into [[Exterminatus|exterminating]] each other just to save one of their own. The [[Dark Eldar]] takes this up to eleven by sacrificing other souls to Slaanesh so that they don't get eaten. [[Khorne]] hates Slaanesh because s/he's a prissy faggot, but Slaanesh doesn't care about Khorne, or any of the other Chaos Gods, until s/he's done playing with herself, which is about 1 nanosecond every millennium, so about 13 nanoseconds total so far. Rumors that their relationship is beyond hate and occasional angry sex are just that; Khorne is not telling.

Of course, that paragraph is Slaanesh's WH40K history. In WHFB, Slaanesh has no real backstory and sort of just came out of nowhere like the other Chaos gods.

Among other things, Slaanesh is the god of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. He/she/it is fueled by excess and pleasure, which means gratuitous amounts of anything generally fall under its influence. This actually becomes a big problem for Khorne, the God-Emperor of Mankind and the other Chaos Gods, whose worshipers have to constantly try not to enjoy themselves too much lest they end up feeding the Warp's whipping bitch. Especially when the Inquisition is all too enthusiastic in whipping heretics.

Many horny juveniles who have just found Warhammer seem to be obsessed with Slaanesh being a God(ess) of sexual pleasure. While [[fluff]] claims this is not true, in practical terms Slaanesh is the deity of pleasure, which can be broad. Pleasure can be derived from various sources, as such this can be anything from sex, eating, companionship, and so on and so forth. However, because Chaos is Chaos, Slaanesh is mostly associated with the extremes of pleasure. Lechery, gluttony, extreme masochism, and the likes, are the pleasures his/her/it's followers partake in because Slaanesh's credo is to experience everything to the fullest. This basically means: why settle for one loving wife to have sex with you when you can have a hive world of loving concubines to satiate your desires? Or why eat one disgustingly expensive luxury meal when you could eat a Paradise world's supply of the stuff? Why just resort to cutting yourself to feel the pleasure of pain when you could be chopping off lumps of your flesh to heighten the sensation of pain?

One would think that if, as claimed, Slaanesh were the lord of all ''pleasure'' then Slaanesh would be omnipotent because in the end, biological and psychological fact tells us that every living thing with a fucking Neuron does anything simply because to feel pleasure and escape pain (the "pleasure principle").

Even [[Khorne]], her opposite, feels pleasure in killing, and Tzeentch feels pleasure in [[Just as Planned]]. That is why 40k lore tends to focus on Slannesh as a God of the most disgusting pleasures ever, not as a God of all pleasure. Additionally, in the [[fluff]], it does state that most pleasures (like regular love or the desire to eat) that might be covered under the "pleasure principle" are too "weak" to sustain Slaanesh. Slaanesh being usually named the "God of Excess" it's more that he/she gains power from OVER-indulging in the small things like sex and eating, which in 40k is actually more rare than people would think. Considering that it's damn hard for anyone to get more than a piece of stale toast and a dry handjob before a grueling 48 hours of avoiding death in the name of the Emprah in the far corner of some forgotten forge-world, the only way to get enough sex, drugs, and partying in to impress Slaanesh on your average imperial world, is to be a ruthless, controlling, evil, bastard.

<s>{{BLAM|'''SLAANESH AND HIS/HER/ITS WORSHIPERS WILL BE YIFFED IN HELL!!!!'''}}</s> ''Awright, which one of you guys let the [[Commissar]] in here?'' '''My bad.''' <s>'''Yiffed in hell, you say? Oh, it sounds so... exciting. Sign me in!'''</s>{{BLAM|''' *BLAM*'''}}

==What? Warhammer?==

In the new [[Age of Sigmar]] [[Skub]]storm setting, Slaanesh has gone missing for unknown reasons. Some suspect it's been captured by the <strike>[[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|High Elves]]</strike> Aelfs while being glutted with the souls he/she/it was eating (See? This is why [[Khorne]] follows a strict diet with it comes to Khorne Flakes), while Slaanesh's followers think Malerion has something to do with it (the two possibilities aren't mutually exclusive). Thus Slaanesh has been removed from the Pantheon of Chaos and replaced by the [[Horned Rat]]. Derp.

Tyrion and Malerion worked together to capture Slaanesh, unknowningly helped along by the machinations of Tzeentch.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpryvDJSGT0 Most likely Slaanesh is being kept in a hidden warehouse while Tyrion works him/her over to make Slaanesh give back Aliathra's soul.]

There is speculation that Slaanesh has been removed as an active part of Age of Sigmar in some attempt by [[Games Workshop]] to make the game more accessible to children. [[Derp|Somehow, they failed to take into account that no game with such a high price of entry is going to be popular among kiddies anyways]]. They may be doing this so parents won't be put off by the game and be willing to buy it for their children and to get past the media watchdogs to make the game more mainstream; but that most likely won't work [[Games Workshop|due to reasons discussed on GW's page here]].

Yet hope for Slaanesh faction lovers still remains. According to the fluff available with Slaanesh missing his forces have split between those trying to find and free Slaanesh, those who are trying to claim their former masters position (currently this faction is being led by a Keeper of Secrets named Luxcious that wants to become the new god of depravity) and those who have begun worshiping Archaon as the new Slaanesh. This last faction is currently the biggest and is the main Slaanesh force fighting Order, though Archaon is not liking that there are Slaanesh wannabes trying to take his new position. From this development, in addition to Khorne's betrayal during the war with Order and the inclusion of back-stabbing Skaven into the Chaos faction seems to imply that chaos civil wars are on the horizon and Chaos will not be the united front that Order experienced during the end times this time around.

== Followers ==
Slaanesh attracts mortal followers from those seeking to become charismatic and popular, but instead corrupts them to become [[Chris-Chan|colossal perverts]]; alternatively, he/she/it may attract followers from those who are already colossal perverts, and corrupt them to become more charismatic and popular. [[Just as planned]].

Slaanesh and Khorne actually compete for the same pool of followers more often than you'd think, which is part of their bitter rivalry. A good rule of thumb is this: if a warrior wants to be the ''best'', gets his thrills from making that perfect shot, that perfect move, to [[powergamer|hone his or her skills the sharpest they can ever be]], they're Slaaneshi. If the thrill lies in just killing people, the pure joy of murder with the skill just a way of facilitating that, they're Khornate. Slaaneshi types also get off on the sensory overload rather than actual killing, even pain. See the Emperor's Children who get carved up by Raven Guard and won't fight back because the feeling of lightning claws dicing them up is too damn blissful. They also get off on the reactions they get from others- for example, the loyalist who Lucius tricks into slaughtering his own men.

When things come to more "social" followers, Slaanesh competes with Tzeentch, as followers of both are known for being a silver-tongued manipulative dicks with a huge hard-on for power. Here difference lies in that Slaaneshi followers seek power for their own gain, while Tzeenchian often have more altruistic goals or are more interested in a process of gaining power than actually getting it, intentionally raising the challenge to impossible level just to feed their ambitions.

Slaanesh units are:
* '''Daemonettes''', hideous crab-clawed hermaphrodites or seductive scythe-clawed elf-girls depending on which fluff you choose to believe, fa/tg/uys love [[daemonette]]s and spend much time eagerly awaiting the drawfags to provide them with moar heresy. Some fluff seems to suggest that they're hot elf girls until they decide it's time to rip your face off, at which point they become something more akin to the BDSM glam-rock lobster women seen in the current models. Moreover, they're supposedly attractive to the beholder - this means that it is very likely that their appearance is entirely subject to the individual desires of whomever is perceiving them. This is represented by their hermaphroditic/androgynous appearance, supposedly rendering them attractive regardless of preference or sexuality. Their monstrous nature is a juxtaposition of slender sensuality and horrible, flesh-tearing daemonic claws. Like many daemons their appearance is supposed to be highly varied, which is never represented in the models.
* '''Fiends of Slaanesh''', looking like a bizarre cross between an aardvark and a scorpion, these units are best used for hit and run attacks against armour.
* '''Seekers of Slaanesh''', daemonettes mounted upon Steeds of Slaanesh; fast and lots of attacks for not much points, prone to dying in a hail of bolter fire.
* '''Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh''' Hard hitting squad-wipe unit, this is whom you call for when you need that pesky tarpit removed. Right now. From other end of the board. Be cautious though, these things need grimoire and preferrably invisibility to live since they are big targets with juicy 10 armor all round. Also never ever position yourself so that the enemy could have even remote chance of charging these things: even squad of retarded fire warriors can take these chariots down in melee if they get the charge. These things live and die by the hammer of wrath attacks, use them accordingly.
* '''[[Chaos Space Marines]]''', the traitor marines of the [[Emperor's Children|third legion]] worship Slaanesh exclusively, as do warbands such as the Angels of Ecstasy and the Flawless Host.
** '''[[Noise Marines]]''', the specialist traitors dedicated to Slaanesh, akin to Khorne's [[Berserkers]], Nurgle's [[Plague Marines]] or Tzeentch's [[Thousand Sons]]. Aural-focused traitors who specialise in using [[Sonic Weaponry]] because the cacophony is the only thing that can register on their jaded senses anymore.
* '''Keeper of Secrets''', the Greater Daemon of Slaanesh, like a daemonette on steroids, ecstasy and Viagra. They excel in being blindingly fast in movement and combat, depending on the army book and edition they have the edge in single combat with a Bloodthirster. One possessed the primarch [[Fulgrim]] (Though only for a short time) Fulgrim and the demon later became best Friends and merged into one, later the now demon Fulgrim would mortally wound [[Rowboat Girlyman]] (though since nobody saw what happen it possible Gulliman did it to himself),for which we should be all eternally grateful. In WHFB the demon gets its ass handed to it by lord Malekith.

== Facts ==
[[File:Nope.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Alright, who's next for "Purifying"?]]

* Slaanesh knows that you can't spell happiness without penis.
* Slaanesh turns all His/ Her followers into the opposite sex.
* Slaanesh's daemonettes possess men and then jack off.
* Slaanesh is bitching over the fact how his/her/its only representation in the DoW series was the [[Emperor's Children]] paint scheme. And they aren't even Slaaneshi like, they're just a generic chaos army. Although, he did grant favor to Eliphas for smashing a ton of soulstones.
**However, concerning stated above, the developers have added noise marines for Dawn of war 2: Retribution. This has made Slaanesh quite happy. However, he/she/it is still <s>pissed off of not getting enough representation</s> OFFENDED BY THIS SILENCE, considering Nurgle gets Plague Champion hero, the Plague Marine Tier 2 unit, and the Epic Great Unclean One daemon, Khorne then gets the Khornate Chaos Lord, Bloodletters and Bloodcrushers, while Tzeentch gets the Sorcerer hero, has the most effective upgrade for the basic CSM squad (Warpfire bolts make everything in front of them shit brix and was flat out broken in earlier versions of its introduction), and all of the Anti-armor upgrades, while he/she/it only gets a single unit that frankly eclipsed by either Plague Marines or generic Havocs with an autocannon.
* Charlie Sheen is His/Her/Its first true Daemon Prince.
* Slaanesh gets beaten up/off by all of the other Chaos Gods on a fairly regular basis, and gets off on it.
* If it exists, [[PROMOTIONS|Slaanesh faps to it]].
* Tzeentch likes to trick Slaanesh into fighting Khorne, Slaanesh always loses these fights and loses them hard. Tzeentch then gets a dose of lulz out of it. Slaanesh gets to take it hard. [[C.S.Goto| And this pleases him/her/it.]]
* Slaanesh is secretly depressed that he/she/it has no friends. Khorne is a dick, Tzeentch is the biggest dick there is, and Nurgle stole his Eldar goddess.
* Slaanesh gets bullied by all the other Chaos Gods constantly because none of them like him/her/it. This does not upset the balance, though, because Slaanesh likes BDSM where s/he was being bullied and tortured by the other Chaos Gods.
* Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because it's oh so easy to string him along with offers of porn, whores, BDSM and/or drugs.
* Khorne regularly cuts off Slaanesh's arms and beats him/her/it over the head with them (Again, this inadvertently makes Slaanesh orgasm).
* Slaanesh was using steroids when he/she/it killed the Eldar Gods, he/she/it couldn't really beat them all without using performance enhancing drugs.
** Slaanesh is always on drugs (Except psychiatric medication, they kill sex drive down to the very biology)
* Slaanesh attempted to fight the Nightbringer in a desperate attempt to win back some street cred, he/she/it got his/her/its left boob for his/her/its trouble. It hurt so bad/good that it retroactively cut off the left boobs of all of Slaanesh's greater daemons and that's why they all only have one boob (or six).
* Slaanesh's favourite films;
** Hellraiser: Slaanesh's number one film. In fact, He/she/it took a lot of inspiration on many of the movie's aspects... <strike>That is, of course, a lie. He actually ripped off Hellraiser.</strike> Hellraiser ripped him/her/it off. There are rumors that Slaanesh had a cameo appearance in the sequel dressed as a lozenge.
** A Serbian Film: Slaanesh's second favorite movie. She/He's already started putting NEWBORN PORN into her/his daily schedule.
** Pink Flamingos: Slaanesh's third favourite movie, which is actually a film adaptation of Slaanesh's daily journal. It shows parts of Slaanesh's daily life such as bestiality, scat fetishes and vore ([[FATAL|the actors in that scene had sex with each other while crushing a real-life chicken to death between them]]. Fortunately the cannibalism was fake). Slannesh especially enjoyed that the movie quotes him/her directly: ''"Blood does more than turn me on, it makes me cum. And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it. The taste of hot, freshly killed blood... Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth are my politics! Filth is my life! Take whatever you like."'' ([[FATAL|This was an actual line from the movie, the things I do for you people...]]), and that a (now-deceased) drag queen played the main character.
** A Clockwork Orange: One of Slaanesh's favorite movies; not so much the book it was adapted from as it was less about sex and more a commentary on the nature of morality. He/she/it likes to jerk-off at many of the movie's aspects, but more notably Malcolm Mcdowell's sexy face. He/she/it also finds the death of one of the characters totally hilarious, due to the fact that said character was killed by a giant rocking ceramic phallus straight to the face. '''BLOWJOB OF DEATH !!! LULZ !!!''' Unbelievable and improbable? Well here's evidence to prove it: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbRSag-L-GQ Giant rocking ceramic phallus attack !!!].
** The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Mostly because of Tim Curry (who is actually Slaanesh).
*** On that note, he appeared as something closer to his true form in the 1985 movie Legend; [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbknz3pcfPQ as a unicorn-killing big red devil who gets the hots for a princess].
** Caligula: The movie written by Gore Vidal for copious amounts of sex, incest and Malcolm Mcdowell, who Slaanesh is scouting out as a future Chaos champion.
** Event Horizon: A documentary of how He/She is directly responsible for fucking up humanities first venture into the warp.
* Slaanesh enjoys the Song of Ice and Fire books due to the copious amounts of incest and midget sex and the TV adaption Game of Thrones because they added sex scenes and casting several porn stars on top of this.
* Slaanesh gets ALL the pussy, though arguably just as much (if not more) cock.
* Slaanesh tried to seduce all of the remaining C'tan at once. Slaanesh ended up getting the pleasure sensors in its brain lobotomized. He/She/It got off on this.
* Despite psychic powers supposedly being Tzeentch's specialty, Slaanesh's tend to be the really [[cheese|cheesy]] ones. 3rd edition had a minor power called Siren, which forbids the caster from being shot at in the opponent's shooting phase (it's just as broken as it sounds). 4th edition has Lash of Submission, which the Chaos Marine tactics cover the usage of (in a nutshell, GW admitted they didn't realize how good it turned out to be and it was the most used on daemon princes even though the +1I from the required MoS wasn't very useful). And what about 6th edition? While Tzeentchian sorcerers focus on pwning the shit our of enemy with (mediocre) mind bullets and warp-beams, Slaaneshi ones pack a whole lot of cheesy buffs and debuffs, which makes them so much better. Similar deal in Fantasy, where Slaanesh, some of the time, offers a better selection of magic than Tzeentch.
** Still, he/she/it faps/shlicks/???-PROFIT at this.
* Slaanesh hates Warhammer Fantasy because all its worshipers are either very clearly only male or ugly shit-smeared Huns.
* Considering that Slaanesh is about excess, there might be several other types of Marines besides Noise Marines we don't know about:
** Smell Marines, who use gasses to do whatever they wish through peoples noses, whether it be death, insanity, paralysis, suggestibility, 'seeing colors', and so on, always permanent brain damage. This is a way to get Nurgle followers to convert.
**Sight Marines, whose weapons create wondrously intricate bloom and color effects of equally detailed and aesthetically (only to a branch of masochists masochists can't stand) pleasing. This is a way to get Khorne followers to convert.
** Touch Marines, who know the nervous system better than a Bene Gesserit, able to bring the mightiest warriors down with the right jab in the right spot, consumed with uncontrollable orgasms.
**Taste Marines, I am not describing that. Just leave it there. No one is dealing with this.
*Also, a former Tzeentch follower gone Slaaneshi would be incredibly dangerous: Tzeentch followers understand indeterminism (from a very distorted, cynical perspective) and also see knowledge as power per circumstance to win where force, charisma and economics cannot. A devout Slaaneshi seeks to experience everything. Thus a former Tzeentchian, already well read on enough to convince themselves they experienced it, or well read enough to steal peoples experiences, who became a hedonist addict as well would be left with one desire: to be omnipotent and thus be able to go beyond the limits of mortal imaginings in pursuit of understanding and experience for the sake of understanding and experience.
*Slaanesh tried to get in Khorne's head by seeking to understand the appeal of skulls. Instead Slaanesh got bored and invented the idea of skullfucking.
*Slaanesh Patrols will skull fuck your family.

== Gallery ==
{{heresy}}
{{promotions}}
<gallery>
Image:Slaaneshi.JPG|Slaanesh followers DO COCAINE!!!!!!!!
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|That's a real [[commissar]], just look at the [[hat]].
Image:Daemonette02.JPG|DDaemonette
Image:Daemonette01.JPG|It's not furry, you can totally fap to it.

Image:Daemonette.JPG
Image:Slaaneshi2.JPG|Why it's good to be Slaanesh follower.
Image:Daemonxmas copy.jpg|Slaanesh can be festive as well.
Image:Lurvemudkipz.JPG|It is possible that some [[pokémon]] are susceptible to Chaotic influence.

Image:Slaaneshi mudkips.JPG|Oh god. ;_;
Image:Slaanesh trainer.jpg|There is no excuse or explanation for this.
Image:Slaaneshijack copy.jpg|This image can be used to improve a bad thread.
Image:Irresistible.jpg|Simply Irresistible

Image:Dranon5.jpg|Mr Culexus' interpretation. Notice the bulge in the crotch.
Image:Not_too_abysmal_by_Mr_Culexus.jpg|Love can bloom in the galaxy of Transylvania
Image:1271157389405.jpg|What a Slaaneshi raptor would look like by non-GW canon.
Image:daemonette_minerva.png|Who else did you think furries worshiped?

Image:Slaanesh_LAWL.jpg|LAWL
Image:Trapmarine.jpg|Slaanesh Chaos Marines come with a little "extra"...
Image:Trapmarine_BW.jpg|... which may not be so "little".
Image:Daemonette_with_seeker_mount.jpg|She "rides" it... if you know what I mean... no seriously, zoom in if you don't believe me.

Image:643214 - Daemonette Eldar Warhammer 40k howling banshee warhammer yuliapw.jpg|The more common and usual fate of female Eldar.
Image:Slaanesh cosplay 1 by zk87-d2zo47q.jpg|Now 262.71% more real!
Image:Slaanesh Time.jpg|You might be mixing up love and lust.
Image:Slaanesh_miniature_closeup.jpg|Gimme some sugar

Image:Slaanesh+hr giger.jpg|H. R. Geiger is pleased
Image:Slaanesh by zk87-d2z4bpv.jpg|Lashes of Torment!
Image:Slaanesh-153102-SweetAngel.jpg|She Who Thirsts indeed
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Khorne is sooo tsundere...
Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated]

Image:Dark_Prince_of_Pleasure_Slaanesh_wfrp.jpg|From the old [[WFRP]] days
Image:MoeSlaanesh.png|How can you not want to serve something this <s>adorable</s> heretical?
Image:Anons_fall_to_Chaos.png|Anon heralds the Age of Strife.
Image:Champion of Slaanesh RL.png| We have the makings of a deamon prince here!
</gallery>

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!
Don't dream it, be it...
Don't dream it, be it...

{{ Template:ChaosGods}}

==See Also==
*[[Dechala]] - The oldest existing Chaos Champion special character of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[Azazel]] - The oldest existing [[Daemon Prince]] of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[The Masque]] - Slaanesh's former fav fab Daemonette stripper, and current PR rep.
*[[Sigvald]], Slaanesh's favorite not-Caligula/not-Joffrey.
*The [[Emperor's Children]] legion - The largest contingent of sick fucks on this side of the warp. And on that side of the warp.
*[[Fulgrim]] - Primarch of the largest contingent of sick fucks <strike>on this side (and that side) of the warp</strike> ever.
*[[Fabius Bile|Fabulous Bile]] - What you get by combining a self-obsessed homosexual and Dr. Frankenstein, only this one is played [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kane_%28wrestler%29 Glenn Jacobs] instead of Tim Curry.
*[[Lucius]] - Considered by some as the Sickest of Fucks amongst the living.
*[[Doomrider]] - He does COCAINE!
*[[Miriael Sabathiel]] - The <s>first</s> only Sister of Battle to fall to Chaos and champion of Slaanesh.
*[[Daemonette]] - Daemons of Slaanesh. Viewing said content is heretical, in 20 seconds or less after clicking the link, expect a squad of inquisitorial storm troopers to barge-in and blam you to hell.
*[[Reasonable Daemonette]] - Slaanesh's perversion knows no bounds. Hers does, and she respects yours.
*[[Loli D]] - The [[loli]] variant of the Slaaneshi Daemonette. Viewing said content is extra heretical. E-Commissars can and will [[Exterminatus|blam you from your monitor with the utmost prejudice]] if you click on this link.
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf
[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]

Chaos Spawn

2016-03-28T05:54:38Z

2605:E000:7ECF:7F00:4920:6168:2409:451E: /* What These Units Are Like Today */ Klaatu Barada Nicoughcoughcough!

[[Image:Chaos_Spawn_2.gif|thumb|right|A typical example of a Chaos Spawn'''-OH-SWEET-JESUS-NOOOOOOGLARBLBLBLBL!!''']]

''The Gods blessed you too much, and now I shall end your misery! Such a fate does not await me!'' - Thorgar the Blooded One, on the you-know-whats.

This is what happens when you have [[Extra Heresy|stepped over a line that even Chaos doesn't cross]]. On top of all that, they're basically multiple Lord Voldermorts. If you even say Chaos Spawn-OH FUCK NOOOOOOOOGLARBABLAHBALHABALAHHBLBLBLBL... As my predecessor was about to say, they're so awful in 40k that even saying their full name here causes the speaker to mutate into one.

==[[Warhammer Fantasy]]==
[[File:Tony Ackland Chaos Spawn.jpg|thumb|400px|SWEET JESUS 2 HEADS?!?!?! how fuckied up can the dark gods make chaos spaw- o fucking crap '''-NOOOOOOOWFAFIUEKLFGWYULFKAWGEYOLIAFUHAFAUWEGYFOUELFGAWUFDCAWDDGRAAAAAAAAAASHSKZ]]
In Warhammer Fantasy, Chaos Spawn are mutations that only afflict those who worship Chaos (allowing the faithful to say their name without fear!). Exposure to the Warp for the faithful (or unaligned) instead causes mutations that corrupt the afflicted into more [[Beastmen|feral forms]]. Usually these mutations occur amongst common citizenry when the Winds of Magic blow too strongly from the miniature [[Eye of Terror|Eyes of Terror]] at the poles of the world, and patrols are required to cull them before they join the ranks of the [[Hordes of Chaos|forces of Chaos]], although who it is that leads the purges differs from race to race. The [[Empire]] relies on the familiar Inquisition and Witch Hunters. [[Kislev|Kislevites]] instead rely on their Dvoryanin and Boyars (nobles) to account for the status of the outlying populations. [[Bretonnia]]n nobles consider all the peasants to be little better than this usually, and said peasants usually self-police due to their extreme devotion to the nobility (however, simply taking all babies born with mutations to leave in the forest is what caused the Beastmen to grow so prolific in the first place). Elves ([[High Elves|High]], [[Wood Elves (Warhammer)|Wood]], and [[Dark Elves|Dark]]) are near immune to mutation, as are Ogres unless they serve willingly. [[Lizardmen]] and the Undead ([[Vampire Counts|Vampire]] and [[Tomb Kings|Egyptian]]) are both immune to the power of the Warp, with the latter actually able to reverse-corrupt things. And there have been no reported cases of [[Orcs]] with mutations, so no one knows what happens to them.

Chaos Spawn occur far more often amongst [[Warriors of Chaos]] than Chaos Space Marines due to their EXTREME fucking devotion to the Chaos Gods, to the point that every last Norseman seeks to become a [[Daemon Prince]] and the Chaos gods spread their blessings liberally. These spawn are usually used somewhere between biological weapons, and the same roles used by dogs depending on the degree of the mutations.

Chaos Spawn fear symbols of [[Sigmar]] and similar gods, and the power of nature as channeled by the Wood and High Elves can cleanse mutations from a subject. In particular, a [[Defenders of Ulthuan/Sons of Ellyrion|book series]] depicting High Elves fighting Dark Elves and Warriors of Chaos describe how the Champion of Slaanesh prior to Sigvald the Magnificent is cleansed of all Slaanesh's blessings by simply touching the [[Everqueen]]. Slaanesh, very VERY pissed, began pouring his Daemonic energy directly into the Champion. When the Everqueen let go of his hand, that energy immediately turned him into a Chaos Spawn on par with a Greater Daemon.

Tabletop-wise: much like 40k's old Spawns, Fantasy Chaos Spawn are terrible. They have low stats, slow movement speed with the inability to march or charge things (that last part is basically the stamp of death in Fantasy anyway). Their Marks of Chaos are random and cannot be counted on even working. Sadly, you'll probably need a few to run fun things in Warriors since there's a chance of failure to become one for some of your options. In addition, some choices of Lords or Heroes come with some as pets ([[Cultist-chan]] should really be the poster child of Warriors rather than 40k cultists).

The most significant Chaos Spawn in Warhammer is [[Warriors of Chaos|Scyla Anfingrimm]]. The only Chaos Spawn who yet has the favour of a god.

==[[Warhammer 40,000|Warhammer 40k]]==
The '''Chaos SpawnaAIEEEEBLAAAAAAAAAAAHGGHGH-'''
The unit in question were, in 4th and 5th Editions, considered by many to be the worst unit in any [[Chaos]] army book and, quite possibly, the entire game of Warhammer 40k (the Pre-[[Jeremy Vetock|Vetock]] Space Pope coming in a close second, [[Pyrovore|until the Tyranid "champion" of Cruddace arrived]]). They were so bad, absolutely nobody took them. Not even for flavor or joke games. Even today they're still rare; the stigma is that deep. It became a meme that to even utter their name causes a horrid mutation turning you into a Chaos Spawn yourself. Wait! No! I didn't mean it- '''*OHSWEETJESUSMOTHEROFGODNOOOOOOOOOOO!!GLARBLBLBLBLWARUEAGIRHARAUIRGLLLLLAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH*'''

Ahem... Continuing where my predecessor left off, you-know-whats should only be referred to as you-know-whats. That or [[Harry Potter|they-who-shall-not-be-named]]. Even though you-know-whats have received a nice crunch buff since then, the meme still remains since [[Tzeentch|it fits the fluff pretty well]].

In fluff, aspiring champions of chaos normally devolve into said units for any of the following reasons: if they use chaos solely for their own gain, their patron god thinks they're not worthy of their favor or have fallen out of their favor, they can't handle the sheer amounts of mutations they go through during their ascension into a full-fledged [[Daemon Prince]], or, you know, it's [[Tuesday]] and [[Tzeentch]] is feeling bored since there's not a lot of "Just as Planned" going around. When this does happen, Chaos Spawns devolve into no more than mindless heaps of mutated flesh who attacks anyone near them and eventually die after a short period due to their unstable form and.....'''No.....NOOOOOOO! GLARBLRAWRGLARBL''' The only known exception to this rule is the beast called [[Foulspawn]], who somehow managed to become a Daemon Prince of Nurgle after being transformed into one of the abominations.

Only [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] can comprehend how truly goddamn useless these things are. Generally by looking in a mirror. Khorne only knows why he hasn't been turned into one yet. Though it turns out ADB knows- it's because he's refused to commit to any one Chaos God, so it's not possible for one of them to inflict this on him.

According to [[Black Crusade]] and ''The Tome of Fate'', the [[Heretek]]s of The Hollows (specifically Magos Onuris of Forge Polix) have taken an interest in improving them to be useful. These "Death-Masques" have cybernetic implants forcibly installed into what's left of their brains and nervous systems. This combination of auger arrays, arcanocogitators, and drug-delivery systems not only allow Hereteks to control Death-Masques like giant, fleshy [[Servitor]]s, but actually selectively mutate their bodies, enabling the Heretek to reshape a Death-Masque into a more useful form or give it whatever bio-weapons would be best for the present situation. This is [[awesome]], but alas GW would never let us actually use something like this in-game when we could be having the "fun" of a pathetically random failure of a gribbly beast...

==On The Tabletop==
===Fantasy===
Although a terrible option due to their randomness and point cost (akin to the [[Daemons]] army fittingly, which is interesting because it shows just how better the Vikings are than their masters), they aren't unusable; like most things in the more balanced Warhammer they simply aren't as good as other options although taking them won't lose you the game. Thanks to a more recent update to the game making it possible for your models to suddenly turn into one of the fucking things, players should now own some (thanks Games Workshop, my wallet was getting too heavy to carry!) in case the Dice Gods turn on them.

===40k===

ass

===Why These Units Used to Suck===
You-know-whats were just absolutely horrible before 6th Edition. Costing the same as three actual Chaos Marines, they would wander around the board aimlessly with a throw of the Scatter Dice, moved D6, had the Rage special rule and died to Bolter fire earning your opponent a free kill point. They fucking sucked, essentially. There is considerable evidence that they were originally supposed to have the Feel No Pain rule, ergo making them marginally useful as a meat shield, but sadly the 4th Edition Codex, through a series of misprints, lacked this.
To drive home just how bad these things were if they actually got into combat, there is no way statistically they could win combat against equal points worth of GUARDSMEN, the resulting extra wounds they would take from No Retreat would wipe them out immediately since they had no save. The ONLY thing they could tar pit was FIREWARRIORS and even then the odds were in the FIREWARRIORS' favor.

===What These Units Are Like Today===
[[File:ChaosSpawn2.jpg|450px|thumb|left|[[Fail|Failure]] no more. Yet the brave Guardsmen keep coming, despite witnessing stuff like that. Where's Creed when you need him!]]

[[Phil Kelly]] remembered that under that mass of writhing limbs and stupidity, there's [[Vraks|generally]] a Chaos Space Marine, so brace yourselves for a shocker: '''they're not absolutely worthless anymore'''. New features include...
*A lower point cost (30, as opposed to the previous 40).
*Causing fear while being fearless themselves.
*No longer moving randomly or at a goddamn crawl. In fact, they move as fast as Metal Bawkzes and do not give a shit about terrain.
*Rage now meaning that they get +2 attacks on the charge, making it actually useful.
*A D3 roll every turn that determines what mutation they get for that turn. They can get a 4+ armor save, a roll of 2D6 for their number of attacks (you pick the higher one), or poisoned attacks (at 4+ to wound).

With the removal of No Retreat they also won't automatically shit themselves with a lost combat. Indeed, being Fearless, they barely care at all.

Their stats are otherwise unchanged, so ''holy shit'', it's almost worth taking two or three of them and throwing them headlong at the enemy as a [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX|multi-wound distraction to soak up fire for you]]. Almost. Okay, that is not true. 30 points for a model with 3 T5 wounds that can move 12", has useful special powers, can be taken in squadrons and can become T6 with Nurgle is frankly excellent. Mark of Tzeentch could conceivably boost their staying power slightly too. Stay away from Khorne and Slaanesh, though. Unless you run into [[Grey Knights]] or [[Dark Eldar]], for whom the Spawn is just a mild annoyance.

Alternatively, run several Khorne marked spawn towards any vehicle with rear av10 and watch them wreck all in their path, until your friends realise just what they are capable of and gun them down in a panic.

Actual serious use is fielding them as escort for a Jugger Lord. More wounds for less then a bike squad, and no encoragment to shoot... which your choppy lord should never do.

Fun fact: renegades can get an unmarked three Chaos Spa-*cough*-MCHERBINFERBER deal for only 55 points. Three spawn for under the price of two. Let the good times roll! Hey, wait a minute, everything's cool! '''I didn't say the words! I DI-GLARBABLAHBALHABALAHH!!'''

===The other way they are useful (aka you need them now)===
In the new Chaos Space Marines Codex there's a table, like the one in the Warriors of Chaos Army book, on which your HQ, when killing an enemy character (keep in mind: not IC, just C). It's a 2D6 table with some of classics: +1S, +1T, +1W...

But one of the results... forces you to swap your awesome super killy Chaos Champion with... err, the-one-which-shall-not-be-named! So now you '''have to buy''' a box of these sick horrors in order to play.
At least for Chaos Warriors, the time when your Marauder Chieftain turns into a Spawn and ''still does more damage than it would normally'' is truly priceless. The same thing probably works for Cultist Champions too. Still it could be useful, since the you-know-what detaches from the unit and could be used to tie up something shooty with poor melee capabilities, like Devastator squad or Crisis team for a turn or two.

Cue rage and threats to eviscerate every GW employee that isn't Phil Kelly. But really, [[Warriors of Chaos|shut the hell up you fucking newbies; 'bout time you had to deal with this Chaos Spawn shit anyway]]...

Ohh my God-Emperor no waiiii.... '''RAWRAWRASDAFGSFDS''' (Automated Message From Cadia: We are out of Usable speakers and will be employing new ones at the Recruitment Center nearest you)
(why do we do this in the first place?

==Gallery==
<Gallery>
File:Chaosthingies.png|On the bright side, their kit is really fun to mess with and has so many spare parts, you won't need to worry about not having enough horns and tentacles for your conversions anymore. also the chaos spawn have some bootiful hea- NO! PLEASE! WRYYYYYYTYYYYISU LFGERSU GWLRIGUSEUILGEHRIDDSFSFWGLARASHHHHBLBLBLBLB
</Gallery>

{{Template:Chaos-Official}}

[[Category:Chaos]]
[[Category:Warriors of Chaos]]
[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Chaos Spawn

2016-03-28T05:51:33Z

2605:E000:7ECF:7F00:4920:6168:2409:451E: /* What These Units Are Like Today */

[[Image:Chaos_Spawn_2.gif|thumb|right|A typical example of a Chaos Spawn'''-OH-SWEET-JESUS-NOOOOOOGLARBLBLBLBL!!''']]

''The Gods blessed you too much, and now I shall end your misery! Such a fate does not await me!'' - Thorgar the Blooded One, on the you-know-whats.

This is what happens when you have [[Extra Heresy|stepped over a line that even Chaos doesn't cross]]. On top of all that, they're basically multiple Lord Voldermorts. If you even say Chaos Spawn-OH FUCK NOOOOOOOOGLARBABLAHBALHABALAHHBLBLBLBL... As my predecessor was about to say, they're so awful in 40k that even saying their full name here causes the speaker to mutate into one.

==[[Warhammer Fantasy]]==
[[File:Tony Ackland Chaos Spawn.jpg|thumb|400px|SWEET JESUS 2 HEADS?!?!?! how fuckied up can the dark gods make chaos spaw- o fucking crap '''-NOOOOOOOWFAFIUEKLFGWYULFKAWGEYOLIAFUHAFAUWEGYFOUELFGAWUFDCAWDDGRAAAAAAAAAASHSKZ]]
In Warhammer Fantasy, Chaos Spawn are mutations that only afflict those who worship Chaos (allowing the faithful to say their name without fear!). Exposure to the Warp for the faithful (or unaligned) instead causes mutations that corrupt the afflicted into more [[Beastmen|feral forms]]. Usually these mutations occur amongst common citizenry when the Winds of Magic blow too strongly from the miniature [[Eye of Terror|Eyes of Terror]] at the poles of the world, and patrols are required to cull them before they join the ranks of the [[Hordes of Chaos|forces of Chaos]], although who it is that leads the purges differs from race to race. The [[Empire]] relies on the familiar Inquisition and Witch Hunters. [[Kislev|Kislevites]] instead rely on their Dvoryanin and Boyars (nobles) to account for the status of the outlying populations. [[Bretonnia]]n nobles consider all the peasants to be little better than this usually, and said peasants usually self-police due to their extreme devotion to the nobility (however, simply taking all babies born with mutations to leave in the forest is what caused the Beastmen to grow so prolific in the first place). Elves ([[High Elves|High]], [[Wood Elves (Warhammer)|Wood]], and [[Dark Elves|Dark]]) are near immune to mutation, as are Ogres unless they serve willingly. [[Lizardmen]] and the Undead ([[Vampire Counts|Vampire]] and [[Tomb Kings|Egyptian]]) are both immune to the power of the Warp, with the latter actually able to reverse-corrupt things. And there have been no reported cases of [[Orcs]] with mutations, so no one knows what happens to them.

Chaos Spawn occur far more often amongst [[Warriors of Chaos]] than Chaos Space Marines due to their EXTREME fucking devotion to the Chaos Gods, to the point that every last Norseman seeks to become a [[Daemon Prince]] and the Chaos gods spread their blessings liberally. These spawn are usually used somewhere between biological weapons, and the same roles used by dogs depending on the degree of the mutations.

Chaos Spawn fear symbols of [[Sigmar]] and similar gods, and the power of nature as channeled by the Wood and High Elves can cleanse mutations from a subject. In particular, a [[Defenders of Ulthuan/Sons of Ellyrion|book series]] depicting High Elves fighting Dark Elves and Warriors of Chaos describe how the Champion of Slaanesh prior to Sigvald the Magnificent is cleansed of all Slaanesh's blessings by simply touching the [[Everqueen]]. Slaanesh, very VERY pissed, began pouring his Daemonic energy directly into the Champion. When the Everqueen let go of his hand, that energy immediately turned him into a Chaos Spawn on par with a Greater Daemon.

Tabletop-wise: much like 40k's old Spawns, Fantasy Chaos Spawn are terrible. They have low stats, slow movement speed with the inability to march or charge things (that last part is basically the stamp of death in Fantasy anyway). Their Marks of Chaos are random and cannot be counted on even working. Sadly, you'll probably need a few to run fun things in Warriors since there's a chance of failure to become one for some of your options. In addition, some choices of Lords or Heroes come with some as pets ([[Cultist-chan]] should really be the poster child of Warriors rather than 40k cultists).

The most significant Chaos Spawn in Warhammer is [[Warriors of Chaos|Scyla Anfingrimm]]. The only Chaos Spawn who yet has the favour of a god.

==[[Warhammer 40,000|Warhammer 40k]]==
The '''Chaos SpawnaAIEEEEBLAAAAAAAAAAAHGGHGH-'''
The unit in question were, in 4th and 5th Editions, considered by many to be the worst unit in any [[Chaos]] army book and, quite possibly, the entire game of Warhammer 40k (the Pre-[[Jeremy Vetock|Vetock]] Space Pope coming in a close second, [[Pyrovore|until the Tyranid "champion" of Cruddace arrived]]). They were so bad, absolutely nobody took them. Not even for flavor or joke games. Even today they're still rare; the stigma is that deep. It became a meme that to even utter their name causes a horrid mutation turning you into a Chaos Spawn yourself. Wait! No! I didn't mean it- '''*OHSWEETJESUSMOTHEROFGODNOOOOOOOOOOO!!GLARBLBLBLBLWARUEAGIRHARAUIRGLLLLLAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH*'''

Ahem... Continuing where my predecessor left off, you-know-whats should only be referred to as you-know-whats. That or [[Harry Potter|they-who-shall-not-be-named]]. Even though you-know-whats have received a nice crunch buff since then, the meme still remains since [[Tzeentch|it fits the fluff pretty well]].

In fluff, aspiring champions of chaos normally devolve into said units for any of the following reasons: if they use chaos solely for their own gain, their patron god thinks they're not worthy of their favor or have fallen out of their favor, they can't handle the sheer amounts of mutations they go through during their ascension into a full-fledged [[Daemon Prince]], or, you know, it's [[Tuesday]] and [[Tzeentch]] is feeling bored since there's not a lot of "Just as Planned" going around. When this does happen, Chaos Spawns devolve into no more than mindless heaps of mutated flesh who attacks anyone near them and eventually die after a short period due to their unstable form and.....'''No.....NOOOOOOO! GLARBLRAWRGLARBL''' The only known exception to this rule is the beast called [[Foulspawn]], who somehow managed to become a Daemon Prince of Nurgle after being transformed into one of the abominations.

Only [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] can comprehend how truly goddamn useless these things are. Generally by looking in a mirror. Khorne only knows why he hasn't been turned into one yet. Though it turns out ADB knows- it's because he's refused to commit to any one Chaos God, so it's not possible for one of them to inflict this on him.

According to [[Black Crusade]] and ''The Tome of Fate'', the [[Heretek]]s of The Hollows (specifically Magos Onuris of Forge Polix) have taken an interest in improving them to be useful. These "Death-Masques" have cybernetic implants forcibly installed into what's left of their brains and nervous systems. This combination of auger arrays, arcanocogitators, and drug-delivery systems not only allow Hereteks to control Death-Masques like giant, fleshy [[Servitor]]s, but actually selectively mutate their bodies, enabling the Heretek to reshape a Death-Masque into a more useful form or give it whatever bio-weapons would be best for the present situation. This is [[awesome]], but alas GW would never let us actually use something like this in-game when we could be having the "fun" of a pathetically random failure of a gribbly beast...

==On The Tabletop==
===Fantasy===
Although a terrible option due to their randomness and point cost (akin to the [[Daemons]] army fittingly, which is interesting because it shows just how better the Vikings are than their masters), they aren't unusable; like most things in the more balanced Warhammer they simply aren't as good as other options although taking them won't lose you the game. Thanks to a more recent update to the game making it possible for your models to suddenly turn into one of the fucking things, players should now own some (thanks Games Workshop, my wallet was getting too heavy to carry!) in case the Dice Gods turn on them.

===40k===

ass

===Why These Units Used to Suck===
You-know-whats were just absolutely horrible before 6th Edition. Costing the same as three actual Chaos Marines, they would wander around the board aimlessly with a throw of the Scatter Dice, moved D6, had the Rage special rule and died to Bolter fire earning your opponent a free kill point. They fucking sucked, essentially. There is considerable evidence that they were originally supposed to have the Feel No Pain rule, ergo making them marginally useful as a meat shield, but sadly the 4th Edition Codex, through a series of misprints, lacked this.
To drive home just how bad these things were if they actually got into combat, there is no way statistically they could win combat against equal points worth of GUARDSMEN, the resulting extra wounds they would take from No Retreat would wipe them out immediately since they had no save. The ONLY thing they could tar pit was FIREWARRIORS and even then the odds were in the FIREWARRIORS' favor.

===What These Units Are Like Today===
[[File:ChaosSpawn2.jpg|450px|thumb|left|[[Fail|Failure]] no more. Yet the brave Guardsmen keep coming, despite witnessing stuff like that. Where's Creed when you need him!]]

[[Phil Kelly]] remembered that under that mass of writhing limbs and stupidity, there's [[Vraks|generally]] a Chaos Space Marine, so brace yourselves for a shocker: '''they're not absolutely worthless anymore'''. New features include...
*A lower point cost (30, as opposed to the previous 40).
*Causing fear while being fearless themselves.
*No longer moving randomly or at a goddamn crawl. In fact, they move as fast as Metal Bawkzes and do not give a shit about terrain.
*Rage now meaning that they get +2 attacks on the charge, making it actually useful.
*A D3 roll every turn that determines what mutation they get for that turn. They can get a 4+ armor save, a roll of 2D6 for their number of attacks (you pick the higher one), or poisoned attacks (at 4+ to wound).

With the removal of No Retreat they also won't automatically shit themselves with a lost combat. Indeed, being Fearless, they barely care at all.

Their stats are otherwise unchanged, so ''holy shit'', it's almost worth taking two or three of them and throwing them headlong at the enemy as a [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX|multi-wound distraction to soak up fire for you]]. Almost. Okay, that is not true. 30 points for a model with 3 T5 wounds that can move 12", has useful special powers, can be taken in squadrons and can become T6 with Nurgle is frankly excellent. Mark of Tzeentch could conceivably boost their staying power slightly too. Stay away from Khorne and Slaanesh, though. Unless you run into [[Grey Knights]] or [[Dark Eldar]], for whom the Spawn is just a mild annoyance.

Alternatively, run several Khorne marked spawn towards any vehicle with rear av10 and watch them wreck all in their path, until your friends realise just what they are capable of and gun them down in a panic.

Actual serious use is fielding them as escort for a Jugger Lord. More wounds for less then a bike squad, and no encoragment to shoot... which your choppy lord should never do.

Fun fact: renegades can get an unmarked three Chaos Spa-*cough*-MCHERBINFERBER deal for only 55 points. Three spawn for under the price of two. Let the good times roll! Hey, wait a minute, everything's cool!

===The other way they are useful (aka you need them now)===
In the new Chaos Space Marines Codex there's a table, like the one in the Warriors of Chaos Army book, on which your HQ, when killing an enemy character (keep in mind: not IC, just C). It's a 2D6 table with some of classics: +1S, +1T, +1W...

But one of the results... forces you to swap your awesome super killy Chaos Champion with... err, the-one-which-shall-not-be-named! So now you '''have to buy''' a box of these sick horrors in order to play.
At least for Chaos Warriors, the time when your Marauder Chieftain turns into a Spawn and ''still does more damage than it would normally'' is truly priceless. The same thing probably works for Cultist Champions too. Still it could be useful, since the you-know-what detaches from the unit and could be used to tie up something shooty with poor melee capabilities, like Devastator squad or Crisis team for a turn or two.

Cue rage and threats to eviscerate every GW employee that isn't Phil Kelly. But really, [[Warriors of Chaos|shut the hell up you fucking newbies; 'bout time you had to deal with this Chaos Spawn shit anyway]]...

Ohh my God-Emperor no waiiii.... '''RAWRAWRASDAFGSFDS''' (Automated Message From Cadia: We are out of Usable speakers and will be employing new ones at the Recruitment Center nearest you)
(why do we do this in the first place?

==Gallery==
<Gallery>
File:Chaosthingies.png|On the bright side, their kit is really fun to mess with and has so many spare parts, you won't need to worry about not having enough horns and tentacles for your conversions anymore. also the chaos spawn have some bootiful hea- NO! PLEASE! WRYYYYYYTYYYYISU LFGERSU GWLRIGUSEUILGEHRIDDSFSFWGLARASHHHHBLBLBLBLB
</Gallery>

{{Template:Chaos-Official}}

[[Category:Chaos]]
[[Category:Warriors of Chaos]]
[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Chaos Spawn

2016-03-28T05:43:02Z

2605:E000:7ECF:7F00:4920:6168:2409:451E: /* Warhammer 40k */

[[Image:Chaos_Spawn_2.gif|thumb|right|A typical example of a Chaos Spawn'''-OH-SWEET-JESUS-NOOOOOOGLARBLBLBLBL!!''']]

''The Gods blessed you too much, and now I shall end your misery! Such a fate does not await me!'' - Thorgar the Blooded One, on the you-know-whats.

This is what happens when you have [[Extra Heresy|stepped over a line that even Chaos doesn't cross]]. On top of all that, they're basically multiple Lord Voldermorts. If you even say Chaos Spawn-OH FUCK NOOOOOOOOGLARBABLAHBALHABALAHHBLBLBLBL... As my predecessor was about to say, they're so awful in 40k that even saying their full name here causes the speaker to mutate into one.

==[[Warhammer Fantasy]]==
[[File:Tony Ackland Chaos Spawn.jpg|thumb|400px|SWEET JESUS 2 HEADS?!?!?! how fuckied up can the dark gods make chaos spaw- o fucking crap '''-NOOOOOOOWFAFIUEKLFGWYULFKAWGEYOLIAFUHAFAUWEGYFOUELFGAWUFDCAWDDGRAAAAAAAAAASHSKZ]]
In Warhammer Fantasy, Chaos Spawn are mutations that only afflict those who worship Chaos (allowing the faithful to say their name without fear!). Exposure to the Warp for the faithful (or unaligned) instead causes mutations that corrupt the afflicted into more [[Beastmen|feral forms]]. Usually these mutations occur amongst common citizenry when the Winds of Magic blow too strongly from the miniature [[Eye of Terror|Eyes of Terror]] at the poles of the world, and patrols are required to cull them before they join the ranks of the [[Hordes of Chaos|forces of Chaos]], although who it is that leads the purges differs from race to race. The [[Empire]] relies on the familiar Inquisition and Witch Hunters. [[Kislev|Kislevites]] instead rely on their Dvoryanin and Boyars (nobles) to account for the status of the outlying populations. [[Bretonnia]]n nobles consider all the peasants to be little better than this usually, and said peasants usually self-police due to their extreme devotion to the nobility (however, simply taking all babies born with mutations to leave in the forest is what caused the Beastmen to grow so prolific in the first place). Elves ([[High Elves|High]], [[Wood Elves (Warhammer)|Wood]], and [[Dark Elves|Dark]]) are near immune to mutation, as are Ogres unless they serve willingly. [[Lizardmen]] and the Undead ([[Vampire Counts|Vampire]] and [[Tomb Kings|Egyptian]]) are both immune to the power of the Warp, with the latter actually able to reverse-corrupt things. And there have been no reported cases of [[Orcs]] with mutations, so no one knows what happens to them.

Chaos Spawn occur far more often amongst [[Warriors of Chaos]] than Chaos Space Marines due to their EXTREME fucking devotion to the Chaos Gods, to the point that every last Norseman seeks to become a [[Daemon Prince]] and the Chaos gods spread their blessings liberally. These spawn are usually used somewhere between biological weapons, and the same roles used by dogs depending on the degree of the mutations.

Chaos Spawn fear symbols of [[Sigmar]] and similar gods, and the power of nature as channeled by the Wood and High Elves can cleanse mutations from a subject. In particular, a [[Defenders of Ulthuan/Sons of Ellyrion|book series]] depicting High Elves fighting Dark Elves and Warriors of Chaos describe how the Champion of Slaanesh prior to Sigvald the Magnificent is cleansed of all Slaanesh's blessings by simply touching the [[Everqueen]]. Slaanesh, very VERY pissed, began pouring his Daemonic energy directly into the Champion. When the Everqueen let go of his hand, that energy immediately turned him into a Chaos Spawn on par with a Greater Daemon.

Tabletop-wise: much like 40k's old Spawns, Fantasy Chaos Spawn are terrible. They have low stats, slow movement speed with the inability to march or charge things (that last part is basically the stamp of death in Fantasy anyway). Their Marks of Chaos are random and cannot be counted on even working. Sadly, you'll probably need a few to run fun things in Warriors since there's a chance of failure to become one for some of your options. In addition, some choices of Lords or Heroes come with some as pets ([[Cultist-chan]] should really be the poster child of Warriors rather than 40k cultists).

The most significant Chaos Spawn in Warhammer is [[Warriors of Chaos|Scyla Anfingrimm]]. The only Chaos Spawn who yet has the favour of a god.

==[[Warhammer 40,000|Warhammer 40k]]==
The '''Chaos SpawnaAIEEEEBLAAAAAAAAAAAHGGHGH-'''
The unit in question were, in 4th and 5th Editions, considered by many to be the worst unit in any [[Chaos]] army book and, quite possibly, the entire game of Warhammer 40k (the Pre-[[Jeremy Vetock|Vetock]] Space Pope coming in a close second, [[Pyrovore|until the Tyranid "champion" of Cruddace arrived]]). They were so bad, absolutely nobody took them. Not even for flavor or joke games. Even today they're still rare; the stigma is that deep. It became a meme that to even utter their name causes a horrid mutation turning you into a Chaos Spawn yourself. Wait! No! I didn't mean it- '''*OHSWEETJESUSMOTHEROFGODNOOOOOOOOOOO!!GLARBLBLBLBLWARUEAGIRHARAUIRGLLLLLAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH*'''

Ahem... Continuing where my predecessor left off, you-know-whats should only be referred to as you-know-whats. That or [[Harry Potter|they-who-shall-not-be-named]]. Even though you-know-whats have received a nice crunch buff since then, the meme still remains since [[Tzeentch|it fits the fluff pretty well]].

In fluff, aspiring champions of chaos normally devolve into said units for any of the following reasons: if they use chaos solely for their own gain, their patron god thinks they're not worthy of their favor or have fallen out of their favor, they can't handle the sheer amounts of mutations they go through during their ascension into a full-fledged [[Daemon Prince]], or, you know, it's [[Tuesday]] and [[Tzeentch]] is feeling bored since there's not a lot of "Just as Planned" going around. When this does happen, Chaos Spawns devolve into no more than mindless heaps of mutated flesh who attacks anyone near them and eventually die after a short period due to their unstable form and.....'''No.....NOOOOOOO! GLARBLRAWRGLARBL''' The only known exception to this rule is the beast called [[Foulspawn]], who somehow managed to become a Daemon Prince of Nurgle after being transformed into one of the abominations.

Only [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] can comprehend how truly goddamn useless these things are. Generally by looking in a mirror. Khorne only knows why he hasn't been turned into one yet. Though it turns out ADB knows- it's because he's refused to commit to any one Chaos God, so it's not possible for one of them to inflict this on him.

According to [[Black Crusade]] and ''The Tome of Fate'', the [[Heretek]]s of The Hollows (specifically Magos Onuris of Forge Polix) have taken an interest in improving them to be useful. These "Death-Masques" have cybernetic implants forcibly installed into what's left of their brains and nervous systems. This combination of auger arrays, arcanocogitators, and drug-delivery systems not only allow Hereteks to control Death-Masques like giant, fleshy [[Servitor]]s, but actually selectively mutate their bodies, enabling the Heretek to reshape a Death-Masque into a more useful form or give it whatever bio-weapons would be best for the present situation. This is [[awesome]], but alas GW would never let us actually use something like this in-game when we could be having the "fun" of a pathetically random failure of a gribbly beast...

==On The Tabletop==
===Fantasy===
Although a terrible option due to their randomness and point cost (akin to the [[Daemons]] army fittingly, which is interesting because it shows just how better the Vikings are than their masters), they aren't unusable; like most things in the more balanced Warhammer they simply aren't as good as other options although taking them won't lose you the game. Thanks to a more recent update to the game making it possible for your models to suddenly turn into one of the fucking things, players should now own some (thanks Games Workshop, my wallet was getting too heavy to carry!) in case the Dice Gods turn on them.

===40k===

ass

===Why These Units Used to Suck===
You-know-whats were just absolutely horrible before 6th Edition. Costing the same as three actual Chaos Marines, they would wander around the board aimlessly with a throw of the Scatter Dice, moved D6, had the Rage special rule and died to Bolter fire earning your opponent a free kill point. They fucking sucked, essentially. There is considerable evidence that they were originally supposed to have the Feel No Pain rule, ergo making them marginally useful as a meat shield, but sadly the 4th Edition Codex, through a series of misprints, lacked this.
To drive home just how bad these things were if they actually got into combat, there is no way statistically they could win combat against equal points worth of GUARDSMEN, the resulting extra wounds they would take from No Retreat would wipe them out immediately since they had no save. The ONLY thing they could tar pit was FIREWARRIORS and even then the odds were in the FIREWARRIORS' favor.

===What These Units Are Like Today===
[[File:ChaosSpawn2.jpg|450px|thumb|left|[[Fail|Failure]] no more. Yet the brave Guardsmen keep coming, despite witnessing stuff like that. Where's Creed when you need him!]]

[[Phil Kelly]] remembered that under that mass of writhing limbs and stupidity, there's [[Vraks|generally]] a Chaos Space Marine, so brace yourselves for a shocker: '''they're not absolutely worthless anymore'''. New features include...
*A lower point cost (30, as opposed to the previous 40).
*Causing fear while being fearless themselves.
*No longer moving randomly or at a goddamn crawl. In fact, they move as fast as Metal Bawkzes and do not give a shit about terrain.
*Rage now meaning that they get +2 attacks on the charge, making it actually useful.
*A D3 roll every turn that determines what mutation they get for that turn. They can get a 4+ armor save, a roll of 2D6 for their number of attacks (you pick the higher one), or poisoned attacks (at 4+ to wound).

With the removal of No Retreat they also won't automatically shit themselves with a lost combat. Indeed, being Fearless, they barely care at all.

Their stats are otherwise unchanged, so ''holy shit'', it's almost worth taking two or three of them and throwing them headlong at the enemy as a [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX|multi-wound distraction to soak up fire for you]]. Almost. Okay, that is not true. 30 points for a model with 3 T5 wounds that can move 12", has useful special powers, can be taken in squadrons and can become T6 with Nurgle is frankly excellent. Mark of Tzeentch could conceivably boost their staying power slightly too. Stay away from Khorne and Slaanesh, though. Unless you run into [[Grey Knights]] or [[Dark Eldar]], for whom the Spawn is just a mild annoyance.

Alternatively, run several Khorne marked spawn towards any vehicle with rear av10 and watch them wreck all in their path, until your friends realise just what they are capable of and gun them down in a panic.

Actual serious use is fielding them as escort for a Jugger Lord. More wounds for less then a bike squad, and no encoragment to shoot... which your choppy lord should never do.

Fun fact: renegades can get an unmarked three Chaos Spa-*cough*-MCHERBINFERBER deal for only 55 points. Three spawn for under the price of two. Let the good times roll!

===The other way they are useful (aka you need them now)===
In the new Chaos Space Marines Codex there's a table, like the one in the Warriors of Chaos Army book, on which your HQ, when killing an enemy character (keep in mind: not IC, just C). It's a 2D6 table with some of classics: +1S, +1T, +1W...

But one of the results... forces you to swap your awesome super killy Chaos Champion with... err, the-one-which-shall-not-be-named! So now you '''have to buy''' a box of these sick horrors in order to play.
At least for Chaos Warriors, the time when your Marauder Chieftain turns into a Spawn and ''still does more damage than it would normally'' is truly priceless. The same thing probably works for Cultist Champions too. Still it could be useful, since the you-know-what detaches from the unit and could be used to tie up something shooty with poor melee capabilities, like Devastator squad or Crisis team for a turn or two.

Cue rage and threats to eviscerate every GW employee that isn't Phil Kelly. But really, [[Warriors of Chaos|shut the hell up you fucking newbies; 'bout time you had to deal with this Chaos Spawn shit anyway]]...

Ohh my God-Emperor no waiiii.... '''RAWRAWRASDAFGSFDS''' (Automated Message From Cadia: We are out of Usable speakers and will be employing new ones at the Recruitment Center nearest you)
(why do we do this in the first place?

==Gallery==
<Gallery>
File:Chaosthingies.png|On the bright side, their kit is really fun to mess with and has so many spare parts, you won't need to worry about not having enough horns and tentacles for your conversions anymore. also the chaos spawn have some bootiful hea- NO! PLEASE! WRYYYYYYTYYYYISU LFGERSU GWLRIGUSEUILGEHRIDDSFSFWGLARASHHHHBLBLBLBLB
</Gallery>

{{Template:Chaos-Official}}

[[Category:Chaos]]
[[Category:Warriors of Chaos]]
[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Chaos Spawn

2016-03-28T05:42:10Z

2605:E000:7ECF:7F00:4920:6168:2409:451E: /* Warhammer 40k */

[[Image:Chaos_Spawn_2.gif|thumb|right|A typical example of a Chaos Spawn'''-OH-SWEET-JESUS-NOOOOOOGLARBLBLBLBL!!''']]

''The Gods blessed you too much, and now I shall end your misery! Such a fate does not await me!'' - Thorgar the Blooded One, on the you-know-whats.

This is what happens when you have [[Extra Heresy|stepped over a line that even Chaos doesn't cross]]. On top of all that, they're basically multiple Lord Voldermorts. If you even say Chaos Spawn-OH FUCK NOOOOOOOOGLARBABLAHBALHABALAHHBLBLBLBL... As my predecessor was about to say, they're so awful in 40k that even saying their full name here causes the speaker to mutate into one.

==[[Warhammer Fantasy]]==
[[File:Tony Ackland Chaos Spawn.jpg|thumb|400px|SWEET JESUS 2 HEADS?!?!?! how fuckied up can the dark gods make chaos spaw- o fucking crap '''-NOOOOOOOWFAFIUEKLFGWYULFKAWGEYOLIAFUHAFAUWEGYFOUELFGAWUFDCAWDDGRAAAAAAAAAASHSKZ]]
In Warhammer Fantasy, Chaos Spawn are mutations that only afflict those who worship Chaos (allowing the faithful to say their name without fear!). Exposure to the Warp for the faithful (or unaligned) instead causes mutations that corrupt the afflicted into more [[Beastmen|feral forms]]. Usually these mutations occur amongst common citizenry when the Winds of Magic blow too strongly from the miniature [[Eye of Terror|Eyes of Terror]] at the poles of the world, and patrols are required to cull them before they join the ranks of the [[Hordes of Chaos|forces of Chaos]], although who it is that leads the purges differs from race to race. The [[Empire]] relies on the familiar Inquisition and Witch Hunters. [[Kislev|Kislevites]] instead rely on their Dvoryanin and Boyars (nobles) to account for the status of the outlying populations. [[Bretonnia]]n nobles consider all the peasants to be little better than this usually, and said peasants usually self-police due to their extreme devotion to the nobility (however, simply taking all babies born with mutations to leave in the forest is what caused the Beastmen to grow so prolific in the first place). Elves ([[High Elves|High]], [[Wood Elves (Warhammer)|Wood]], and [[Dark Elves|Dark]]) are near immune to mutation, as are Ogres unless they serve willingly. [[Lizardmen]] and the Undead ([[Vampire Counts|Vampire]] and [[Tomb Kings|Egyptian]]) are both immune to the power of the Warp, with the latter actually able to reverse-corrupt things. And there have been no reported cases of [[Orcs]] with mutations, so no one knows what happens to them.

Chaos Spawn occur far more often amongst [[Warriors of Chaos]] than Chaos Space Marines due to their EXTREME fucking devotion to the Chaos Gods, to the point that every last Norseman seeks to become a [[Daemon Prince]] and the Chaos gods spread their blessings liberally. These spawn are usually used somewhere between biological weapons, and the same roles used by dogs depending on the degree of the mutations.

Chaos Spawn fear symbols of [[Sigmar]] and similar gods, and the power of nature as channeled by the Wood and High Elves can cleanse mutations from a subject. In particular, a [[Defenders of Ulthuan/Sons of Ellyrion|book series]] depicting High Elves fighting Dark Elves and Warriors of Chaos describe how the Champion of Slaanesh prior to Sigvald the Magnificent is cleansed of all Slaanesh's blessings by simply touching the [[Everqueen]]. Slaanesh, very VERY pissed, began pouring his Daemonic energy directly into the Champion. When the Everqueen let go of his hand, that energy immediately turned him into a Chaos Spawn on par with a Greater Daemon.

Tabletop-wise: much like 40k's old Spawns, Fantasy Chaos Spawn are terrible. They have low stats, slow movement speed with the inability to march or charge things (that last part is basically the stamp of death in Fantasy anyway). Their Marks of Chaos are random and cannot be counted on even working. Sadly, you'll probably need a few to run fun things in Warriors since there's a chance of failure to become one for some of your options. In addition, some choices of Lords or Heroes come with some as pets ([[Cultist-chan]] should really be the poster child of Warriors rather than 40k cultists).

The most significant Chaos Spawn in Warhammer is [[Warriors of Chaos|Scyla Anfingrimm]]. The only Chaos Spawn who yet has the favour of a god.

==[[Warhammer 40,000|Warhammer 40k]]==
The '''Chaos SpawnaAIEEEEBLAAAAAAAAAAAHGGHGH-'''
The unit in question were, in 4th and 5th Editions, considered by many to be the worst unit in any [[Chaos]] army book and, quite possibly, the entire game of Warhammer 40k (the Pre-[[Jeremy Vetock|Vetock]] Space Pope coming in a close second, [[Pyrovore|until the Tyranid "champion" of Cruddace arrived]]). They were so bad, absolutely nobody took them. Not even for flavor or joke games. Even today they're still rare; the stigma is that deep. It became a meme that to even utter their name causes a horrid mutation turning you into a Chaos Spawn yourself. Wait! No! I didn't mean it- '''*OHSWEETJESUSMOTHEROFGODNOOOOOOOOOOO!!GLARBLBLBLBLWARUEAGIRHARAUIRGLLLLLAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH*'''

Ahem... Continuing where my predecessor left off, you-know-whats should only be referred to as you-know-whats. That or [[Harry Potter|they-who-shall-not-be-named]]. Even though you-know-whats received a nice crunch buff the meme still remains, since [[Tzeentch|it fits the fluff pretty well]].

In fluff, aspiring champions of chaos normally devolve into said units for any of the following reasons: if they use chaos solely for their own gain, their patron god thinks they're not worthy of their favor or have fallen out of their favor, they can't handle the sheer amounts of mutations they go through during their ascension into a full-fledged [[Daemon Prince]], or, you know, it's [[Tuesday]] and [[Tzeentch]] is feeling bored since there's not a lot of "Just as Planned" going around. When this does happen, Chaos Spawns devolve into no more than mindless heaps of mutated flesh who attacks anyone near them and eventually die after a short period due to their unstable form and.....'''No.....NOOOOOOO! GLARBLRAWRGLARBL''' The only known exception to this rule is the beast called [[Foulspawn]], who somehow managed to become a Daemon Prince of Nurgle after being transformed into one of the abominations.

Only [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] can comprehend how truly goddamn useless these things are. Generally by looking in a mirror. Khorne only knows why he hasn't been turned into one yet. Though it turns out ADB knows- it's because he's refused to commit to any one Chaos God, so it's not possible for one of them to inflict this on him.

According to [[Black Crusade]] and ''The Tome of Fate'', the [[Heretek]]s of The Hollows (specifically Magos Onuris of Forge Polix) have taken an interest in improving them to be useful. These "Death-Masques" have cybernetic implants forcibly installed into what's left of their brains and nervous systems. This combination of auger arrays, arcanocogitators, and drug-delivery systems not only allow Hereteks to control Death-Masques like giant, fleshy [[Servitor]]s, but actually selectively mutate their bodies, enabling the Heretek to reshape a Death-Masque into a more useful form or give it whatever bio-weapons would be best for the present situation. This is [[awesome]], but alas GW would never let us actually use something like this in-game when we could be having the "fun" of a pathetically random failure of a gribbly beast...

==On The Tabletop==
===Fantasy===
Although a terrible option due to their randomness and point cost (akin to the [[Daemons]] army fittingly, which is interesting because it shows just how better the Vikings are than their masters), they aren't unusable; like most things in the more balanced Warhammer they simply aren't as good as other options although taking them won't lose you the game. Thanks to a more recent update to the game making it possible for your models to suddenly turn into one of the fucking things, players should now own some (thanks Games Workshop, my wallet was getting too heavy to carry!) in case the Dice Gods turn on them.

===40k===

ass

===Why These Units Used to Suck===
You-know-whats were just absolutely horrible before 6th Edition. Costing the same as three actual Chaos Marines, they would wander around the board aimlessly with a throw of the Scatter Dice, moved D6, had the Rage special rule and died to Bolter fire earning your opponent a free kill point. They fucking sucked, essentially. There is considerable evidence that they were originally supposed to have the Feel No Pain rule, ergo making them marginally useful as a meat shield, but sadly the 4th Edition Codex, through a series of misprints, lacked this.
To drive home just how bad these things were if they actually got into combat, there is no way statistically they could win combat against equal points worth of GUARDSMEN, the resulting extra wounds they would take from No Retreat would wipe them out immediately since they had no save. The ONLY thing they could tar pit was FIREWARRIORS and even then the odds were in the FIREWARRIORS' favor.

===What These Units Are Like Today===
[[File:ChaosSpawn2.jpg|450px|thumb|left|[[Fail|Failure]] no more. Yet the brave Guardsmen keep coming, despite witnessing stuff like that. Where's Creed when you need him!]]

[[Phil Kelly]] remembered that under that mass of writhing limbs and stupidity, there's [[Vraks|generally]] a Chaos Space Marine, so brace yourselves for a shocker: '''they're not absolutely worthless anymore'''. New features include...
*A lower point cost (30, as opposed to the previous 40).
*Causing fear while being fearless themselves.
*No longer moving randomly or at a goddamn crawl. In fact, they move as fast as Metal Bawkzes and do not give a shit about terrain.
*Rage now meaning that they get +2 attacks on the charge, making it actually useful.
*A D3 roll every turn that determines what mutation they get for that turn. They can get a 4+ armor save, a roll of 2D6 for their number of attacks (you pick the higher one), or poisoned attacks (at 4+ to wound).

With the removal of No Retreat they also won't automatically shit themselves with a lost combat. Indeed, being Fearless, they barely care at all.

Their stats are otherwise unchanged, so ''holy shit'', it's almost worth taking two or three of them and throwing them headlong at the enemy as a [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX|multi-wound distraction to soak up fire for you]]. Almost. Okay, that is not true. 30 points for a model with 3 T5 wounds that can move 12", has useful special powers, can be taken in squadrons and can become T6 with Nurgle is frankly excellent. Mark of Tzeentch could conceivably boost their staying power slightly too. Stay away from Khorne and Slaanesh, though. Unless you run into [[Grey Knights]] or [[Dark Eldar]], for whom the Spawn is just a mild annoyance.

Alternatively, run several Khorne marked spawn towards any vehicle with rear av10 and watch them wreck all in their path, until your friends realise just what they are capable of and gun them down in a panic.

Actual serious use is fielding them as escort for a Jugger Lord. More wounds for less then a bike squad, and no encoragment to shoot... which your choppy lord should never do.

Fun fact: renegades can get an unmarked three Chaos Spa-*cough*-MCHERBINFERBER deal for only 55 points. Three spawn for under the price of two. Let the good times roll!

===The other way they are useful (aka you need them now)===
In the new Chaos Space Marines Codex there's a table, like the one in the Warriors of Chaos Army book, on which your HQ, when killing an enemy character (keep in mind: not IC, just C). It's a 2D6 table with some of classics: +1S, +1T, +1W...

But one of the results... forces you to swap your awesome super killy Chaos Champion with... err, the-one-which-shall-not-be-named! So now you '''have to buy''' a box of these sick horrors in order to play.
At least for Chaos Warriors, the time when your Marauder Chieftain turns into a Spawn and ''still does more damage than it would normally'' is truly priceless. The same thing probably works for Cultist Champions too. Still it could be useful, since the you-know-what detaches from the unit and could be used to tie up something shooty with poor melee capabilities, like Devastator squad or Crisis team for a turn or two.

Cue rage and threats to eviscerate every GW employee that isn't Phil Kelly. But really, [[Warriors of Chaos|shut the hell up you fucking newbies; 'bout time you had to deal with this Chaos Spawn shit anyway]]...

Ohh my God-Emperor no waiiii.... '''RAWRAWRASDAFGSFDS''' (Automated Message From Cadia: We are out of Usable speakers and will be employing new ones at the Recruitment Center nearest you)
(why do we do this in the first place?

==Gallery==
<Gallery>
File:Chaosthingies.png|On the bright side, their kit is really fun to mess with and has so many spare parts, you won't need to worry about not having enough horns and tentacles for your conversions anymore. also the chaos spawn have some bootiful hea- NO! PLEASE! WRYYYYYYTYYYYISU LFGERSU GWLRIGUSEUILGEHRIDDSFSFWGLARASHHHHBLBLBLBLB
</Gallery>

{{Template:Chaos-Official}}

[[Category:Chaos]]
[[Category:Warriors of Chaos]]
[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]