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Slime

2016-12-14T22:54:21Z

2605:E000:7ECF:7F00:D50C:8451:9F07:59E0:

[[File:The gelatinous green cube by shockbolt.jpg|500px|thumbnail|right|[[Halfling]] [[Rogue]] rolled a 1 to Intelligence...or should it be Wisdom? Or maybe both?]]
The '''Slime''', also known as the '''Ooze''', the '''Gel''', the '''Jelly''', or the '''Goo''', is a humble form of monster that pops up in absolutely ''every'' frigging fantasy setting you can imagine, and even a few science-fiction settings. It is most famous in tabletop games for its many diffuse forms in [[Dungeons & Dragons]] and in videogames for [[/v/|Dragon Quest]] (which likewise has a fucking huge array of possible slime-forms), but, like we said, you can find a slime just about everywhere if you look.

Slimes are usually low to middle tier threat levels; they are mindless masses of animate sludge, and some higher-level variants may be made of elemental matter, such as water, "liquid ice", magma, molten steel, etc. They have no culture or higher purposes, they just ooze around eating anything organic they touch and growing bigger until they have to divide. Hardly likely to outwit most adventurers, but many games make them fairly resistant to certain kinds of attack, especially physical ones, so just assuming they're harmless is a good way to get dissolved. One prominent commenter described fighting a slime as "playing a terrifying game of 'guess the immunity'," referencing to the fact that unless you have your appropriate Monster Manuals memorised, you can rarely predict what will kill a slime variety outright. And guessing wrong can sometimes be worse than not trying, because using the ''wrong'' damage type can cause the slime in question to divide.

Perhaps the most notorious slime to come out of the tabletop game field is the gelatinous cube, a D&D monstrosity that takes the form of a huge cube-shaped mass of near-translucent gray or green jelly, perfectly sized for oozing through the typical dungeon corridor as a living, insurmountable barrier. Like the [[Rust Monster]] and [[Owlbear]], it's one of those absurdities that everyone pokes fun at, but which has too much nostalgic fondness from the fanbase for anyone to seriously consider getting rid of it. Later, fortunately, it ''did'' come with a half-assed explanation: wizards breed them as living janitorial services to clean the garbage out of the perfectly-square corridors of their evil dungeons. As it's also mostly-transparent, save for the dissolving bits of armor floating in it like fruit in a jello dessert, walking straight into it only to be engulfed is an occupational hazard for dungeon-delvers.

==[[Monstergirl]]s==
Surprisingly, slimes have long been given the [[monstergirls]] treatment; Slime Girls (also known as Goo Girls) are typically not very smart, but very affectionate and horny, and their gelatinous bodies have a ''lot'' of kinky shit they can do in the bedroom. In the more restrained versions a slime will engulf a guy while milking him dry, giving him a full body hug. This frequently results in cum floating around in the slime's body, often going towards a the slime's "heart", a core of a color that contrasts the body that is said to hold the slime's soul. It is often an erogenous zone [[/d/|because of course it is]]. In more extreme cases the slime will also penetrate the guy, engaging in stuff like sounding or fucking him in the ass while he fucks her in the, well, [[Dark Eldar|everywhere is a hole for a Slime]]. There are also a few cases where vore starts to be involved, which would be a bit more true to nature for the slimes of D&D fame.

[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]][[Category: Monsters]][[Category: Monstergirls]]

Baphomet

2016-12-14T22:33:56Z

2605:E000:7ECF:7F00:D50C:8451:9F07:59E0:

Baphomet is one of the [[Demon Prince]]s of the [[Tanar'ri]] in [[Dungeons & Dragons]]. Hailing all the way back to 1st edition, he is one of the original Demon Princes created by none other than [[Gary Gygax]], and specifically owes his name to real-world demonology.

In D&D specifically, Baphomet owes his inspiration to the stories of the Templars, who were said to worship a demon named Baphomet via the icon of a golden bull's head. Consequently, the D&D Baphomet is depicted as a massive and powerful [[minotaur]], furthering his connections to that race.

In [[Pathfinder]], due to legal issues, Baphomet is instead styled after the more general depictions of his namesake, such as the titular character on the Devil card in the tarot's major arcana; he appears as a lean, humanoid goat with a brazier-like burning third horn jutting out of his head and an upside-down pentagram on his forehead. Amusingly, this is worked into his lore; long and short of it, he used to be the first minotaur and one of [[Lamashtu]]'s lovers/sons, until he tried to impress her by screwing over [[Asmodeus]]. The king of devils enslaved Baphomet, branded his mark into Bapho's skull and then tossed him into an extradimensional maze to die. Joke was on him, though; although he didn't do it until after he'd mutated into his present state, Baphomet eventually came to understand the maze so well he was able to not only leave, but to steal it away from Asmodeus and merge it into the Abyss, founding his own fiendish kingdom.

This emphasizes a trait that both versions of Baphomet uphold; despite his title of the Demon Prince of Beasts, Baphomet is no idiot. In fact, he's actually really smart, and enjoys labyrinthine, almost diabolic plots and schemes, although always with the ultimate goal of tearing down and subverting civilization so that his beast-man servitors can rule over the rubble.

Baphomet is the patron god of the [[Minotaur]]s in most settings, although with his title, he could certainly be given authority over all kinds of beast-man species. He has a long-standing rivalry with [[Yeenoghu]], though exactly why has never really been made clear.

[[Category: Dungeons & Dragons]] [[Category: Gods]] [[Category: Demon Princes]]

Skeleton

2016-12-14T22:16:47Z

2605:E000:7ECF:7F00:D50C:8451:9F07:59E0:

[[Image:Mr_bones_sign.jpg|300px|thumb|right|We'll be seeing a lot of each other.]]
<blockquote>
''Spooky, scary skeletons send shivers down your spine.'' <br/>
''Shrieking skulls will shock your soul, seal your doom tonight.''
: -Andrew Gold
</blockquote>

A '''Skeleton''' is a rigid supporting structure. It usually assumes the context of supporting a living creature, either from the inside (an ''endoskeleton'') or the outside (an ''exoskeleton''), but the term is also used figuratively to refer to the supporting structure of a non-living thing (e.g. the skeleton of a building). You might not realize it, but there is a skeleton ''inside you!''

Because they are hard and made of inorganic calcium and other minerals, they tend to persist after the death of their organism -- potentially for millions of years, if conditions are right. Because of this, they are often identified with death; in fact, the word ''skeleton'' comes from the Greek word for "[[mummy]]" or "dried body". Grim Reapers and other personifications of death tend to be skeletons, or at least have skulls for heads, and skeletons in general are spooky and scary to most people.

Skeletons are also a favorite choice of minion for [[necromancer]]s -- they have no flesh, which means they don't rot or smell bad, and makes them slightly more resilient to slashing damage (though hammers are quite effective, and as [[undead]], holy damage is also a good choice; some paladins call them 'hammer fodder' for this very reason). They also tend to be just as fast as they were in life, unlike the shambling zombies, making them useful for time-critical tasks as well as fast-paced combat. Additionally, skeletons are ''just'' smart enough to wield weapons, normally the ones they used in life.

== Gallery ==
<gallery>
File:Undead_Waifu.jpg|Sometimes a skeleton just wants to have some fun.
File:Alien_skeleton.jpeg|Skeletons are not only inside humans, but other [[Xenos|nightmarish species]] as well.
</gallery>

== See Also ==
* [[Deep Rot]], a skeleton-based computer constructed by a necromancer with a penchant for mad science.

== External Links ==
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2rwxs1gH9w Spooky Scary Skeletons], a song that is guaranteed to play or at least be mentioned in any thread involving skeletons. It might be 2spooky4u.

[[Category:Monsters]][[Category:Undead]]

Skeleton

2016-12-14T22:15:35Z

2605:E000:7ECF:7F00:D50C:8451:9F07:59E0:

[[Image:Mr_bones_sign.jpg|300px|thumb|right|We'll be seeing a lot of each other.]]
<blockquote>
''Spooky, scary skeletons send shivers down your spine.'' <br/>
''Shrieking skulls will shock your soul, seal your doom tonight.''
: -Andrew Gold
</blockquote>

A '''Skeleton''' is a rigid supporting structure. It usually assumes the context of supporting a living creature, either from the inside (an ''endoskeleton'') or the outside (an ''exoskeleton''), but the term is also used figuratively to refer to the supporting structure of a non-living thing (e.g. the skeleton of a building). You might not realize it, but there is a skeleton ''inside you!''

Because they are hard and made of inorganic calcium and other minerals, they tend to persist after the death of their organism -- potentially for millions of years, if conditions are right. Because of this, they are often identified with death; in fact, the word ''skeleton'' comes from the Greek word for "[[mummy]]" or "dried body". Grim Reapers and other personifications of death tend to be skeletons, or at least have skulls for heads, and skeletons in general are spooky and scary to most people.

Skeletons are also a favorite choice of minion for [[necromancer]]s -- they have no flesh, which means they don't rot or smell bad, and makes them slightly more resilient to slashing damage (though hammers are quite effective, and as [[undead]], holy damage is also a good choice; some paladins call them 'hammer fodder' for this very reason). They also tend to be just as fast as they were in life, unlike the shambling zombies, making them useful for time-critical tasks as well as fast-paced combat. Additionally, skeletons are just smart enough to wield weapons, typically the ones they used in life.

== Gallery ==
<gallery>
File:Undead_Waifu.jpg|Sometimes a skeleton just wants to have some fun.
File:Alien_skeleton.jpeg|Skeletons are not only inside humans, but other [[Xenos|nightmarish species]] as well.
</gallery>

== See Also ==
* [[Deep Rot]], a skeleton-based computer constructed by a necromancer with a penchant for mad science.

== External Links ==
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2rwxs1gH9w Spooky Scary Skeletons], a song that is guaranteed to play or at least be mentioned in any thread involving skeletons. It might be 2spooky4u.

[[Category:Monsters]][[Category:Undead]]

Skeleton

2016-12-14T22:08:42Z

2605:E000:7ECF:7F00:D50C:8451:9F07:59E0: /* Gallery */

[[Image:Mr_bones_sign.jpg|300px|thumb|right|We'll be seeing a lot of each other.]]
<blockquote>
''Spooky, scary skeletons send shivers down your spine.'' <br/>
''Shrieking skulls will shock your soul, seal your doom tonight.''
: -Andrew Gold
</blockquote>

A '''Skeleton''' is a rigid supporting structure. It usually assumes the context of supporting a living creature, either from the inside (an ''endoskeleton'') or the outside (an ''exoskeleton''), but the term is also used figuratively to refer to the supporting structure of a non-living thing (e.g. the skeleton of a building). You might not realize it, but there is a skeleton ''inside you!''

Because they are hard and made of inorganic calcium and other minerals, they tend to persist after the death of their organism -- potentially for millions of years, if conditions are right. Because of this, they are often identified with death; in fact, the word ''skeleton'' comes from the Greek word for "[[mummy]]" or "dried body". Grim Reapers and other personifications of death tend to be skeletons, or at least have skulls for heads, and skeletons in general are spooky and scary to most people.

Skeletons are also a favorite choice of minion for [[necromancer]]s -- they have no flesh, which means they don't rot or smell bad, and makes them slightly more resilient to slashing damage (though hammers are quite effective, and as [[undead]], holy damage is also a good choice; some paladins call them 'hammer fodder' for this very reason).

== Gallery ==
<gallery>
File:Undead_Waifu.jpg|Sometimes a skeleton just wants to have some fun.
File:Alien_skeleton.jpeg|Skeletons are not only inside humans, but other [[Xenos|nightmarish species]] as well.
</gallery>

== See Also ==
* [[Deep Rot]], a skeleton-based computer constructed by a necromancer with a penchant for mad science.

== External Links ==
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2rwxs1gH9w Spooky Scary Skeletons], a song that is guaranteed to play or at least be mentioned in any thread involving skeletons. It might be 2spooky4u.

[[Category:Monsters]][[Category:Undead]]

Dinosaur

2016-12-14T22:03:18Z

2605:E000:7ECF:7F00:D50C:8451:9F07:59E0: /* Ornithischians */

[[Image:Tyrannosaurus.jpg|thumb|A ''Tyrannosaurus rex''!]]
'''Dinosaurs''' are a category of creatures of the clade Dinosauria, which first emerged around 250 million years ago, in the Triassic period. Generally these creatures have been classified as reptiles, with their name itself meaning "terrible" (deino) "lizard" (sauros), since their discovery and cataloging by modern science.
However due to recent discoveries, [[Skub|it created a large divide in the Paleontology community on whether they should still be classified as inherently reptile or something completely new.]]

Dinosaurs came to be the dominant form of large, scaly (or feathery), land dwelling life forms across all of earth's major continents through the Jurassic and Cretaceous period. Dinosaurs were, and are, the biggest animals ever to live on the planet, [[Skub|however, what counts as THE biggest is often up in debate by the scientific community,]] as this [[RAGE|usually this ends in flamewars between Sauropod-Fanboys and Cetacean-Fanboys]] (yes, they do exist, kind of like the relationship between [[Star Wars]] fanboys and [[Star Trek]] fanboys), but the more neutral agreement is Sauropods=Land and Whales=Ocean.

They are regarded as [[Fist of the North Star|awesome]] for several reasons....
*They appeal to the sensational because they're "monsters", but unlike most, they actually DID exist.
*It's also been postulated that dinosaurs were the inspiration for [[Dragon|dragons]] with people discovering dinosaur bones and making up stories about them, though that is debatable.
*Quite a few of the more massive dinosaurs were larger (as in '''much''' larger) then the biggest living land mammal, the African Elephant. In fact, the ''Paraceratherium orgosensis'' (a relative to the direct ancestor to the modern Rhinoceros) which was the largest land mammal to have ever existed, would be classified as "small-sized" by sauropod standards.
*The largest sauropods are so colossal that they could be classified as [[Godzilla|"Kaiju-Size"]] and could furthermore cause mini-earthquakes and create sonic booms with their tails.
*A popular idea is if the asteroid did not hit Earth, then it would be the [[Lizardmen|''Troodon'']] (arguably the most intelligent non-avian dinosaur, which resembled ''Velociraptor'') that would be building civilizations and spaceships rather than humans.

[[Tl;dr|Tl;dr,]] Dinosaurs are '''NOT''' to be fucked with.

[[Image:Dinosaur.jpg|thumb|left|A modern day dinosaur of the theropod lineage]]
Most lines of dinosaur were extinguished during the Cretaceous–Paleogene Extinction Event some 65 million years ago. Most scientists actually do consider birds the only surviving branch of dinosaurs (that's right, its fair to say that all birds everywhere are living dinosaurs).
The other close surviving relatives of dinosaurs are the crocodiles, a different branch of the archosaur family that carries on its traditions of eating whatever they want and [[Lizardfolk|giving no fucks about mammals]] Contrary to popular belief, the Komodo dragon, a species of monitor lizard, was ''not'' related to the dinosaurs. It is, however, somewhat closely related to creatures commonly mistaken for dinosaurs - Mosasaurs. The dragon is notable for carrying [[Nurgle|Jurassic period bacteria]] so virulent that a single bite can fatally infect other animals.

== Things people think are dinosaurs, but are not: ==
*Pterosaurs: These flying archosaurs had among their ranks the largest flying creatures that ever lived and were the closest clade to dinosaurs, but are ''not'' actually dinosaurs.
*Marine Reptiles: During the Mesozoic era there were a variety of large marine reptiles, including Ichthyosaurs, Plesiosaurs, Pliosaurs, Mosasaurs and various other sea beasties. As these creatures are big, reptillian, and look like dinosaurs, the general public often lumps them in as dinosaurs. In truth these are a number of separate families that took to the sea.
*Synapsids: Before the dinosaurs really took off as the dominant form of life during the Triassic period the Synapsids, sometimes known as "mammal-like reptiles" were king. One member of this clade is ''Dimetrodon'' or "that fin-back lizard thing' in the Land Before Time and those sets of dinosaur toys your mom bought you when you were a kid". You can tell they're not dinosaurs (and this is a very loose definition) thanks to an extra opening in the skull behind the eye where jaw muscles attached and later became the Sphenoid bone which sits behind the eyes, specialized teeth including canine teeth, among many other distinguishing traits. As the name suggests these guys became the early mammals which turned into us. It's unknown at what point they began to give birth to live young and lactate, although since fur was an extremely late adaptation its generally thought there was a point where something that looked like a dinosaur had lizard <strike>tits</strike> teats.

==Major groups of dinosaurs==
Prepare for '''SCIENCE.'''

===Saurischians===

The "lizard-hipped" dinosaurs. Ironically, birds are part of Saurischia.

'''Theropods'''

Easy name: Meat-eaters

Well known members: ''Tyrannosaurus'', ''Velociraptor'', ''Gallus''

Awesome obscure members: ''Deinocheirus'', ''Yi'', ''Gypaetus''

You know them well. The hunters of the prehistoric world. Theropods were likely the first group of dinosaurs to arise, and diversified quite a lot. Also the only group to survive the asteroid impact (and subsequent climate change).

'''Sauropods'''

Easy name: Long-necks

Well known members: ''Brontosaurus'', ''Brachiosaurus'', ''Diplodocus''

Awesome obscure members: ''Amargasaurus'', ''Shunosaurus'', ''Dreadnoughtus''

The other most well-known group. Titans with nothing on their minds other than eating. Notable for having the largest animals in the history of the planet (longer than whales, but not nearly as heavy).

===Ornithischians===
The "bird-hipped" dinosaurs. Might be weird that birds aren't in this group, but the terms were coined in the 1800s, so what can ya do.

'''Thyreophorans'''

Easy name: Armored Dudes

Well known members: ''Stegosaurus'', ''Ankylosaurus'', ''Euoplocephalus''

Awesome obscure members: ''Kentrosaurus'', ''Polacanthus'', ''Scutosaurus''

Armor, man. These guys were walking tanks with rows of bony armor, or spikes or plates, with many species having weaponized tails which (among the Stegosauridae family) are known informally as Thagomizers after a Gary Larson Far Side Cartoon. Yes really. Also notable because some scientists believe that they had [http://i.imgur.com/4KsLhRI.jpg| colossal, sideways dongs.] Seriously, how the hell else could they bone? Can't do normal fucking with those spikes in the way...

'''Ornithopods'''

Easy name: The guys with weird heads

Well known members: ''Iguanodon'', ''Parasaurolophus'', ''Edmontosaurus''

Awesome obscure members: ''Kulindadromeus'', ''Shangtungosaurus'', ''Tsintaosaurus''

Your standard "dino plant-eaters", though some theorize they could have actually been quite aggressive, which considering how many people are killed by plant eating hippos and elephants is quite probable.[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBU6zfI1b0U| We also actually know what one type sounded like!]

'''Marginocephalians'''

Easy name: The other guys with weird heads

Well known members: ''Triceratops'', ''Protoceratops'', ''Pachycephalosaurus''

Awesome obscure members: ''Diabloceratops'', ''Einosaurus'', ''Nasutoceratops''

Probably the last major group to arise. All originally bipedal, but some grew too massive for that. Also had a weird convergent evolution with birds, they had straight-up beaks.

==See Also==

*[[tarrasque]] - D&D dinosaur monster.
*[[lizardmen]] - dinosaur people who ride dinosaurs.
*[[exodite]] - primitive Eldar who rides dinosaurs to battle.
*[[kroot]] - who has the Great Knarloc, basically kroot dinosaurs

{{Stub}}

[[Category:Monsters]]