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Witch Hunters

2020-04-18T01:21:11Z

2607:FB90:34D4:135C:81DD:9B7:52C4:7C2:

[[File:Witchhunter.jpg|thumb|right|Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.]]
{{Topquote|1=[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7zHuV0znQ0 Here there be witches and all must die]|2=Creature Feature}}

Known as the Ordo Hereticus, the Witch Hunters are a branch of the [[Inquisition]] dedicated and specialized in hunting down and destroying [[Eldar|witches]], [[Cultist-chan|heretics]], and [[Chris-chan|mutants]] in the name of the [[Empra]] but will also kill just about anyone who's an enemy of the Imperium if confronted. Commonly fields [[Sisters of Battle]] or [[Imperial_Guard|Inquisitorial Storm Troopers]], though a Witch Hunter Inquisitor Lord may call on the [[Imperial Guard]], [[Space Marines]], [[Deathwatch]], and even [[Grey Knights]] to assist them in battle.

The Ordo Hereticus was originally created after the [[Age of Apostasy]] to ensure that the [[Ecclesiarchy]] could never go batshit insane again and stick to the Decree Passive; since then it has expanded into the rigid enforcers of the Imperial Cult, stamping out all traces of unorthodoxy among the populace, whether they are genuinely tainted by [[Chaos]] or [[Genestealer Cult|Genestealers]] or not. This power creep from the Inquisition's original goal to mainly fight Chaos itself characterizes how far removed they've become from [[Malcador]]'s original vision for the eternal watchmen of mankind.

All female Sisters of Battle players rage hard when you call SoBs 'Witch Hunters' or imply that they are the same group. [[Matt Ward]] apparently agrees because as of 5E they have been separated again. Fucking Ward. They have a [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles|WFB]] equivalent. Also called, unsurprisingly, Witch Hunters. Both flavors get [[Hat|bitchin' pimp hats]] and the fantasy counterparts have the only reliable guns in the world.

FUCK YEAH!

== So what is heresy? ==
IF IT AIN'T INVOLVING THE EMPEROR, IT'S ALL HERESY!

This above sentence may seem an overstatement but really it is closer to the truth then you'd think. To the Witch Hunters anything that veers from the Emperor's light is to be found and purged and the purging is usually done in [[Salamanders|fire]].

Unlike the [[Daemonhunters]], Witch Hunters act as more of a police instead of a military force. While the Daemon Hunters search the stars for daemons and the chaos crazies responsible for them with the Grey Knights; Witch Hunters are instead more focused on rooting out heresy from within the Imperium's worlds, finding heretics that have infiltrated the Imperium already and purging any cults they may have formed.

Apostasy is also an extreme form of heresy and the one viewed most unfavorably by the Ordo. Thus, the name Witch Hunter. Apostates, for the purposes of 40k, are any psykers who have not submitted to Imperial authority and specifically those that avoid said authority.

They are the firebrand Inquisitors which give the Inquisition its [[Grimdark|(Grim)]]dark reputation and all you heard about them is very true.

== Notable Members of the Ordos Hereticus ==
[[Image:Karamazov.gif|frame|left|Lazy Bastard]]
==== Lord Inquisitor [[Fyodor Karamazov]] ====
''"There is no such thing as a plea of innocence in my court, a plea of innocence is guilty of wasting my time. Guilty."''

Lazy bastard. Sits on a massive, dreadnought-esque chair and merely points to where the servitor should aim his triple-linked multi-melta while his trusty aide Dominique makes snide comments. The other thing he's known for is his many flavors of orbital bombardment, all of which seem to be more accurate when blasting his own men rather than the enemy. He's a great believer in [[JUST AS PLANNED|Just. As. Planned.]] but the Empy version. Jokingly called Lord Krazypantsoff by several immature (and hilarious) users of /tg/. Many Thorian inquisitors, and even the Ecclesiarch himself, hate this guy, thanks to an incident where he [[Derp|purged a priest who had just reclaimed his world for the Imperium]]. Yeah, that quote up above wasn't an exaggeration. Unfortunately the quote ended up being correct this time, as the priest's cult had chaos worshipers in it that would've gone unnoticed (and possibly fucked everything up again) if Karamazov wasn't such an asshole.

He's also [[Bald Marines|bald]] due to an anti-aging cream gone wrong - all the workers for the company (called Dove) were subsequently purged and crucified.

As the quote states: even if you're innocent he's gonna kill you anyway. So since you're fucked no matter what, go crazy.

Set that baby on fire.

G'wan. ''You know you wanna.''

He's named after Fyodor Dostoyevsky, and his famous book ''The Brothers Karamazov'' - which is known for its chapter ''The Grand Inquisitor'', where the eponymous Inquisitor arrests and judges ''the risen Christ''.

As the above text shows, he is the butt of many [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device]] jokes due to being one of the main characters in the series. As of now, he's also the motherfucking Starchild's vessel.
(Still a little bitch though)

==== Witch Hunter Tyrus ====
[[Image:Witch_Hunter_Tyrus.jpg|thumb|OH YEAH!|200px|right]]

This guy is so badass that all the motherflippin' [[-4 Str|ladies]] get PURGED when he enters the room. He was taken under the care of an inquisitor as a child after a [[grimdark|Daemon Prince ripped one of his ears and eyes out for fun before razing the rest of his village. Years later, the same Daemon Prince killed his mentor in battle but Tyrus was able to banish the bastard back to the warp again.]]
His favorite method for finding [[Heresy|HERESY]] is forcing the accused to consume a jug of holy water. If they choke then they are considered heretic and crucified, shot, burned, then he lets a blind butcher loose on them, then they get shot again.

Plus he loathes psykers, even the ones in the Inquisition. So don't ask him if he wants to see your new [[magic]] card trick.
[[Image:Tyrus Miniature.JPG|frame|left|"YOU! YES YOU! STAND STILL, LADDIE!"]]

====Adrastia====
[[Adrastia]] is a lot like what you'd expect from a Witch Hunter. Suspicious, ruthless, uncompromising and utterly devoted to finding and destroying all things heretical for the Emprah. She has a haughty and cavalier attitude and frequently found herself in conflict with Sergeant [[Merrick]] who was convinced she only came to sub-sector Aurelia because she hoped to capture Kyras and net herself a promotion rather than actually giving a crap about the sub-sector's imminent annihilation. She doesn't really bother to confirm or deny his accusations instead telling him to quit bitching at her and get on with his work but when Kyras turns into a gigantic Daemon the option to capture him alive quickly disappears so who knows. Her personality is somewhat grumpy and harsh having very little time for anyone who is not a heretic or pointing her in the direction of one (then again being kind of a buzzkill is pretty normal for Inquisitors who are not [[Amberley Vail]] so we can't really fault Adrastia for that).

[[Image:Adrastia.jpg|right|200px|"My chief weapons are surprise and fear!"|thumb]]

== In Warhammer Fantasy ==
After Sigmar himself defeated the bone daddy [[Nagash]], he appointed Wolfgart Von Krieger ([[Awesome|his best friend <3]]) to create an organization known as the Order of the Silver Hammer, a precursor organization which would then become the Holy Order of the Templars of Sigmar under Emperor Magnus the Pious' reign.

They are the agents of the Sigmarite church who specialize in hunting down necromancers, chaos cultists, and any other sorcerer who practices any magics proscribed by the Colleges of Magic. They are about as ruthless and as much bad news as the 40k version. They also wear pimpng pilgrim hats and are equipped with the best shiny pistols available. The witch hunter's other job besides killing the wyrds and sorcerers is to also spread propaganda among the Empire's proviences. Sadly, even a secretive organization such as this that's supposed to know any deviant cult still refuses to acknowledge that the [[Skaven]] exist [[The End Times|until the shit hit the floor]], though it could be argued that this is to ensure that there are no panic attacks among the populace. Notable examples include Wolfgart Von Krieger, [[Sigmar|Sigmar's]] [[Awesome|own best friend]] (The capital of Ostland Wolfenburg is named after him), and [[Vermintide|Victor Saltzpyre]], the single most Witch-Huntery Witch-Hunter in the entire realm of Witch-Huntery.

Be warned, the only model you can buy these guys in is [[Finecast|Failcast]], and his model is both incredibly prone to bubbles (Oh Boy) and includes a sword which is always bent beyond usability in the casting process. (Double oh Boy)

Fun Fact: [[Archaon|Archaon the Everchosen]] used to be a witch hunter under his birth name, Diederick Castner.

As a wonderful irony, the Witch Hunter's Handbook actually implies decent reasons for hunting things like fortunetellers and healers. Basically, both are charlatans whose guidance causes more harm than good. Like claiming putting a certain flower in a hat will cure insanity and drunkenness. Hint: it doesn't. Logically, people who believe this and try it and release the "cured" nutters just cause madmen to cause more harm before they can be captured again. Holding the "healer" who caused the mess responsible for it is totally justified. The same for fortunetellers who feed crap to wishful thinkers and end up damaging or ruining lives because of it or just scamming people (which happens a lot from the meddling of real-life fortunetellers "give me your life's savings and I'll 'purify it' for you and your problems will go away") The callous mass-burnings and such are implied to be genuinely necessary due to Chaos corruption or the like and the witch hunters allow the public to think the hunters go around murdering innocents and accept the hatred for it to keep them blissfully ignorant of the true threats constantly assailing the Empire in secret. Until a hunter ends up insane due to all the horrible things he's had to do crushing him with guilt and the mind-breaking things he's seen and fought finally becoming too much. Then it often becomes his turn at the stake.

Also noteworthy is that the introduction to the handbook explains that the author is probably insane and so the methods of hunting are not to be taken at face value or as solid fact. So how much of what is in the book is how the witch hunters actually operate and how much of it is the ramblings of a paranoid madman obsessed with the belief that ''everyone'' is a heretic even if they're innocent is up to the real-life reader to determine. Probably everything given how incredibly "you're guilty especially if you're innocent" the book tends to be.

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Witch Hunters|Tactics/Witch Hunters]]
{{clear}}
{{Template:Inquisition}}
{{Imperium}}
[[Category:Inquisition]]

Witch Hunters

2020-04-18T01:00:40Z

2607:FB90:34D4:135C:81DD:9B7:52C4:7C2: /* So what is heresy? */

[[File:Witchhunter.jpg|thumb|right|Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.]]
{{Topquote|1=[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7zHuV0znQ0 Here there be witches and all must die]|2=Creature Feature}}

Known as the Ordo Hereticus, the Witch Hunters are a branch of the [[Inquisition]] dedicated and specialized in hunting down and destroying [[Eldar|witches]], [[Cultist-chan|heretics]], and [[Chris-chan|mutants]] in the name of the [[Empra]] but will also kill just about anyone who's an enemy of the Imperium if confronted. Commonly fields [[Sisters of Battle]] or [[Imperial_Guard|Inquisitorial Storm Troopers]], though a Witch Hunter Inquisitor Lord may call on the [[Imperial Guard]], [[Space Marines]], [[Deathwatch]], and even [[Grey Knights]] to assist them in battle.

The Ordo Hereticus was originally created after the [[Age of Apostasy]] to ensure that the [[Ecclesiarchy]] could never go batshit insane again and stick to the Decree Passive; since then it has expanded into the rigid enforcers of the Imperial Cult, stamping out all traces of unorthodoxy among the populace, whether they are genuinely tainted by Chaos or [[Genestealer Cult|Genestealers]] or not. This power creep from the Inquisition's original goal to mainly fight Chaos itself characterizes how far removed they've become from [[Malcador]]'s original vision for the eternal watchmen of mankind.

All female Sisters of Battle players rage hard when you call SoBs 'Witch Hunters' or imply that they are the same group. [[Matt Ward]] apparently agrees because as of 5E they have been separated again. Fucking Ward. They have a [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles|WFB]] equivalent. Also called, unsurprisingly, Witch Hunters. Both flavors get [[Hat|bitchin' pimp hats]] and the fantasy counterparts have the only reliable guns in the world.

FUCK YEAH!

== So what is heresy? ==
IF IT AIN'T INVOLVING THE EMPEROR, IT'S ALL HERESY!

This above sentence may seem an overstatement but really it is closer to the truth then you'd think. To the Witch Hunters anything that veers from the Emperor's light is to be found and purged and the purging is usually done in [[Salamanders|fire]].

Unlike the [[Daemonhunters]], Witch Hunters act as more of a police instead of a military force. While the Daemon Hunters search the stars for daemons and the chaos crazies responsible for them with the Grey Knights; Witch Hunters are instead more focused on rooting out heresy from within the Imperium's worlds, finding heretics that have infiltrated the Imperium already and purging any cults they may have formed.

Apostasy is also an extreme form of heresy and the one viewed most unfavorably by the Ordo. Thus, the name Witch Hunter. Apostates, for the purposes of 40k, are any psykers who have not submitted to Imperial authority and specifically those that avoid said authority.

They are the firebrand Inquisitors which give the Inquisition its [[Grimdark|(Grim)]]dark reputation and all you heard about them is very true.

== Notable Members of the Ordos Hereticus ==
[[Image:Karamazov.gif|frame|left|Lazy Bastard]]
==== Lord Inquisitor [[Fyodor Karamazov]] ====
''"There is no such thing as a plea of innocence in my court, a plea of innocence is guilty of wasting my time. Guilty."''

Lazy bastard. Sits on a massive, dreadnought-esque chair and merely points to where the servitor should aim his triple-linked multi-melta while his trusty aide Dominique makes snide comments. The other thing he's known for is his many flavors of orbital bombardment, all of which seem to be more accurate when blasting his own men rather than the enemy. He's a great believer in [[JUST AS PLANNED|Just. As. Planned.]] but the Empy version. Jokingly called Lord Krazypantsoff by several immature (and hilarious) users of /tg/. Many Thorian inquisitors, and even the Ecclesiarch himself, hate this guy, thanks to an incident where he [[Derp|purged a priest who had just reclaimed his world for the Imperium]]. Yeah, that quote up above wasn't an exaggeration. Unfortunately the quote ended up being correct this time, as the priest's cult had chaos worshipers in it that would've gone unnoticed (and possibly fucked everything up again) if Karamazov wasn't such an asshole.

He's also [[Bald Marines|bald]] due to an anti-aging cream gone wrong - all the workers for the company (called Dove) were subsequently purged and crucified.

As the quote states: even if you're innocent he's gonna kill you anyway. So since you're fucked no matter what, go crazy.

Set that baby on fire.

G'wan. ''You know you wanna.''

He's named after Fyodor Dostoyevsky, and his famous book ''The Brothers Karamazov'' - which is known for its chapter ''The Grand Inquisitor'', where the eponymous Inquisitor arrests and judges ''the risen Christ''.

As the above text shows, he is the butt of many [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device]] jokes due to being one of the main characters in the series. As of now, he's also the motherfucking Starchild's vessel.
(Still a little bitch though)

==== Witch Hunter Tyrus ====
[[Image:Witch_Hunter_Tyrus.jpg|thumb|OH YEAH!|200px|right]]

This guy is so badass that all the motherflippin' [[-4 Str|ladies]] get PURGED when he enters the room. He was taken under the care of an inquisitor as a child after a [[grimdark|Daemon Prince ripped one of his ears and eyes out for fun before razing the rest of his village. Years later, the same Daemon Prince killed his mentor in battle but Tyrus was able to banish the bastard back to the warp again.]]
His favorite method for finding [[Heresy|HERESY]] is forcing the accused to consume a jug of holy water. If they choke then they are considered heretic and crucified, shot, burned, then he lets a blind butcher loose on them, then they get shot again.

Plus he loathes psykers, even the ones in the Inquisition. So don't ask him if he wants to see your new [[magic]] card trick.
[[Image:Tyrus Miniature.JPG|frame|left|"YOU! YES YOU! STAND STILL, LADDIE!"]]

====Adrastia====
[[Adrastia]] is a lot like what you'd expect from a Witch Hunter. Suspicious, ruthless, uncompromising and utterly devoted to finding and destroying all things heretical for the Emprah. She has a haughty and cavalier attitude and frequently found herself in conflict with Sergeant [[Merrick]] who was convinced she only came to sub-sector Aurelia because she hoped to capture Kyras and net herself a promotion rather than actually giving a crap about the sub-sector's imminent annihilation. She doesn't really bother to confirm or deny his accusations instead telling him to quit bitching at her and get on with his work but when Kyras turns into a gigantic Daemon the option to capture him alive quickly disappears so who knows. Her personality is somewhat grumpy and harsh having very little time for anyone who is not a heretic or pointing her in the direction of one (then again being kind of a buzzkill is pretty normal for Inquisitors who are not [[Amberley Vail]] so we can't really fault Adrastia for that).

[[Image:Adrastia.jpg|right|200px|"My chief weapons are surprise and fear!"|thumb]]

== In Warhammer Fantasy ==
After Sigmar himself defeated the bone daddy [[Nagash]], he appointed Wolfgart Von Krieger ([[Awesome|his best friend <3]]) to create an organization known as the Order of the Silver Hammer, a precursor organization which would then become the Holy Order of the Templars of Sigmar under Emperor Magnus the Pious' reign.

They are the agents of the Sigmarite church who specialize in hunting down necromancers, chaos cultists, and any other sorcerer who practices any magics proscribed by the Colleges of Magic. They are about as ruthless and as much bad news as the 40k version. They also wear pimpng pilgrim hats and are equipped with the best shiny pistols available. The witch hunter's other job besides killing the wyrds and sorcerers is to also spread propaganda among the Empire's proviences. Sadly, even a secretive organization such as this that's supposed to know any deviant cult still refuses to acknowledge that the [[Skaven]] exist [[The End Times|until the shit hit the floor]], though it could be argued that this is to ensure that there are no panic attacks among the populace. Notable examples include Wolfgart Von Krieger, [[Sigmar|Sigmar's]] [[Awesome|own best friend]] (The capital of Ostland Wolfenburg is named after him), and [[Vermintide|Victor Saltzpyre]], the single most Witch-Huntery Witch-Hunter in the entire realm of Witch-Huntery.

Be warned, the only model you can buy these guys in is [[Finecast|Failcast]], and his model is both incredibly prone to bubbles (Oh Boy) and includes a sword which is always bent beyond usability in the casting process. (Double oh Boy)

Fun Fact: [[Archaon|Archaon the Everchosen]] used to be a witch hunter under his birth name, Diederick Castner.

As a wonderful irony, the Witch Hunter's Handbook actually implies decent reasons for hunting things like fortunetellers and healers. Basically, both are charlatans whose guidance causes more harm than good. Like claiming putting a certain flower in a hat will cure insanity and drunkenness. Hint: it doesn't. Logically, people who believe this and try it and release the "cured" nutters just cause madmen to cause more harm before they can be captured again. Holding the "healer" who caused the mess responsible for it is totally justified. The same for fortunetellers who feed crap to wishful thinkers and end up damaging or ruining lives because of it or just scamming people (which happens a lot from the meddling of real-life fortunetellers "give me your life's savings and I'll 'purify it' for you and your problems will go away") The callous mass-burnings and such are implied to be genuinely necessary due to Chaos corruption or the like and the witch hunters allow the public to think the hunters go around murdering innocents and accept the hatred for it to keep them blissfully ignorant of the true threats constantly assailing the Empire in secret. Until a hunter ends up insane due to all the horrible things he's had to do crushing him with guilt and the mind-breaking things he's seen and fought finally becoming too much. Then it often becomes his turn at the stake.

Also noteworthy is that the introduction to the handbook explains that the author is probably insane and so the methods of hunting are not to be taken at face value or as solid fact. So how much of what is in the book is how the witch hunters actually operate and how much of it is the ramblings of a paranoid madman obsessed with the belief that ''everyone'' is a heretic even if they're innocent is up to the real-life reader to determine. Probably everything given how incredibly "you're guilty especially if you're innocent" the book tends to be.

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Witch Hunters|Tactics/Witch Hunters]]
{{clear}}
{{Template:Inquisition}}
{{Imperium}}
[[Category:Inquisition]]

Witch Hunters

2020-04-18T00:54:50Z

2607:FB90:34D4:135C:81DD:9B7:52C4:7C2:

[[File:Witchhunter.jpg|thumb|right|Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.]]
{{Topquote|1=[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7zHuV0znQ0 Here there be witches and all must die]|2=Creature Feature}}

Known as the Ordo Hereticus, the Witch Hunters are a branch of the [[Inquisition]] dedicated and specialized in hunting down and destroying [[Eldar|witches]], [[Cultist-chan|heretics]], and [[Chris-chan|mutants]] in the name of the [[Empra]] but will also kill just about anyone who's an enemy of the Imperium if confronted. Commonly fields [[Sisters of Battle]] or [[Imperial_Guard|Inquisitorial Storm Troopers]], though a Witch Hunter Inquisitor Lord may call on the [[Imperial Guard]], [[Space Marines]], [[Deathwatch]], and even [[Grey Knights]] to assist them in battle.

The Ordo Hereticus was originally created after the [[Age of Apostasy]] to ensure that the [[Ecclesiarchy]] could never go batshit insane again and stick to the Decree Passive; since then it has expanded into the rigid enforcers of the Imperial Cult, stamping out all traces of unorthodoxy among the populace, whether they are genuinely tainted by Chaos or [[Genestealer Cult|Genestealers]] or not. This power creep from the Inquisition's original goal to mainly fight Chaos itself characterizes how far removed they've become from [[Malcador]]'s original vision for the eternal watchmen of mankind.

All female Sisters of Battle players rage hard when you call SoBs 'Witch Hunters' or imply that they are the same group. [[Matt Ward]] apparently agrees because as of 5E they have been separated again. Fucking Ward. They have a [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles|WFB]] equivalent. Also called, unsurprisingly, Witch Hunters. Both flavors get [[Hat|bitchin' pimp hats]] and the fantasy counterparts have the only reliable guns in the world.

FUCK YEAH!

== So what is heresy? ==
IF IT AIN'T INVOLVING THE EMPEROR, IT'S ALL HERESY!

This above sentence may seem an overstatement but really it is closer to the truth then you'd think. To the Witch Hunters anything that veers from the Emperor's light is to be found and purged and the purging is usually done in [[Salamanders|fire]].

Unlike the [[Daemonhunters]], Witch Hunters act as more of a police instead of a military force. While the Daemon Hunters search the stars for daemons and the chaos crazies responsible for them with the Grey Knights; Witch Hunters are instead more focused on rooting out heresy from within the Imperium's worlds, finding heretics that have infiltrated the Imperium already and purging any cults they may have formed.

Apostasy is also an extreme form of heresy and the one viewed most unfavorably by the Ordo. Thus, the name Witch Hunter. Apostates, for the purposes of 40k, are any psykers who have not submitted to Imperial authority and specifically those that avoid said authority.

They are the firebrand Inquisitors which give the Inquisition its [[Grimdark|dark]] reputation and all you heard about them is very true.

== Notable Members of the Ordos Hereticus ==
[[Image:Karamazov.gif|frame|left|Lazy Bastard]]
==== Lord Inquisitor [[Fyodor Karamazov]] ====
''"There is no such thing as a plea of innocence in my court, a plea of innocence is guilty of wasting my time. Guilty."''

Lazy bastard. Sits on a massive, dreadnought-esque chair and merely points to where the servitor should aim his triple-linked multi-melta while his trusty aide Dominique makes snide comments. The other thing he's known for is his many flavors of orbital bombardment, all of which seem to be more accurate when blasting his own men rather than the enemy. He's a great believer in [[JUST AS PLANNED|Just. As. Planned.]] but the Empy version. Jokingly called Lord Krazypantsoff by several immature (and hilarious) users of /tg/. Many Thorian inquisitors, and even the Ecclesiarch himself, hate this guy, thanks to an incident where he [[Derp|purged a priest who had just reclaimed his world for the Imperium]]. Yeah, that quote up above wasn't an exaggeration. Unfortunately the quote ended up being correct this time, as the priest's cult had chaos worshipers in it that would've gone unnoticed (and possibly fucked everything up again) if Karamazov wasn't such an asshole.

He's also [[Bald Marines|bald]] due to an anti-aging cream gone wrong - all the workers for the company (called Dove) were subsequently purged and crucified.

As the quote states: even if you're innocent he's gonna kill you anyway. So since you're fucked no matter what, go crazy.

Set that baby on fire.

G'wan. ''You know you wanna.''

He's named after Fyodor Dostoyevsky, and his famous book ''The Brothers Karamazov'' - which is known for its chapter ''The Grand Inquisitor'', where the eponymous Inquisitor arrests and judges ''the risen Christ''.

As the above text shows, he is the butt of many [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device]] jokes due to being one of the main characters in the series. As of now, he's also the motherfucking Starchild's vessel.
(Still a little bitch though)

==== Witch Hunter Tyrus ====
[[Image:Witch_Hunter_Tyrus.jpg|thumb|OH YEAH!|200px|right]]

This guy is so badass that all the motherflippin' [[-4 Str|ladies]] get PURGED when he enters the room. He was taken under the care of an inquisitor as a child after a [[grimdark|Daemon Prince ripped one of his ears and eyes out for fun before razing the rest of his village. Years later, the same Daemon Prince killed his mentor in battle but Tyrus was able to banish the bastard back to the warp again.]]
His favorite method for finding [[Heresy|HERESY]] is forcing the accused to consume a jug of holy water. If they choke then they are considered heretic and crucified, shot, burned, then he lets a blind butcher loose on them, then they get shot again.

Plus he loathes psykers, even the ones in the Inquisition. So don't ask him if he wants to see your new [[magic]] card trick.
[[Image:Tyrus Miniature.JPG|frame|left|"YOU! YES YOU! STAND STILL, LADDIE!"]]

====Adrastia====
[[Adrastia]] is a lot like what you'd expect from a Witch Hunter. Suspicious, ruthless, uncompromising and utterly devoted to finding and destroying all things heretical for the Emprah. She has a haughty and cavalier attitude and frequently found herself in conflict with Sergeant [[Merrick]] who was convinced she only came to sub-sector Aurelia because she hoped to capture Kyras and net herself a promotion rather than actually giving a crap about the sub-sector's imminent annihilation. She doesn't really bother to confirm or deny his accusations instead telling him to quit bitching at her and get on with his work but when Kyras turns into a gigantic Daemon the option to capture him alive quickly disappears so who knows. Her personality is somewhat grumpy and harsh having very little time for anyone who is not a heretic or pointing her in the direction of one (then again being kind of a buzzkill is pretty normal for Inquisitors who are not [[Amberley Vail]] so we can't really fault Adrastia for that).

[[Image:Adrastia.jpg|right|200px|"My chief weapons are surprise and fear!"|thumb]]

== In Warhammer Fantasy ==
After Sigmar himself defeated the bone daddy [[Nagash]], he appointed Wolfgart Von Krieger ([[Awesome|his best friend <3]]) to create an organization known as the Order of the Silver Hammer, a precursor organization which would then become the Holy Order of the Templars of Sigmar under Emperor Magnus the Pious' reign.

They are the agents of the Sigmarite church who specialize in hunting down necromancers, chaos cultists, and any other sorcerer who practices any magics proscribed by the Colleges of Magic. They are about as ruthless and as much bad news as the 40k version. They also wear pimpng pilgrim hats and are equipped with the best shiny pistols available. The witch hunter's other job besides killing the wyrds and sorcerers is to also spread propaganda among the Empire's proviences. Sadly, even a secretive organization such as this that's supposed to know any deviant cult still refuses to acknowledge that the [[Skaven]] exist [[The End Times|until the shit hit the floor]], though it could be argued that this is to ensure that there are no panic attacks among the populace. Notable examples include Wolfgart Von Krieger, [[Sigmar|Sigmar's]] [[Awesome|own best friend]] (The capital of Ostland Wolfenburg is named after him), and [[Vermintide|Victor Saltzpyre]], the single most Witch-Huntery Witch-Hunter in the entire realm of Witch-Huntery.

Be warned, the only model you can buy these guys in is [[Finecast|Failcast]], and his model is both incredibly prone to bubbles (Oh Boy) and includes a sword which is always bent beyond usability in the casting process. (Double oh Boy)

Fun Fact: [[Archaon|Archaon the Everchosen]] used to be a witch hunter under his birth name, Diederick Castner.

As a wonderful irony, the Witch Hunter's Handbook actually implies decent reasons for hunting things like fortunetellers and healers. Basically, both are charlatans whose guidance causes more harm than good. Like claiming putting a certain flower in a hat will cure insanity and drunkenness. Hint: it doesn't. Logically, people who believe this and try it and release the "cured" nutters just cause madmen to cause more harm before they can be captured again. Holding the "healer" who caused the mess responsible for it is totally justified. The same for fortunetellers who feed crap to wishful thinkers and end up damaging or ruining lives because of it or just scamming people (which happens a lot from the meddling of real-life fortunetellers "give me your life's savings and I'll 'purify it' for you and your problems will go away") The callous mass-burnings and such are implied to be genuinely necessary due to Chaos corruption or the like and the witch hunters allow the public to think the hunters go around murdering innocents and accept the hatred for it to keep them blissfully ignorant of the true threats constantly assailing the Empire in secret. Until a hunter ends up insane due to all the horrible things he's had to do crushing him with guilt and the mind-breaking things he's seen and fought finally becoming too much. Then it often becomes his turn at the stake.

Also noteworthy is that the introduction to the handbook explains that the author is probably insane and so the methods of hunting are not to be taken at face value or as solid fact. So how much of what is in the book is how the witch hunters actually operate and how much of it is the ramblings of a paranoid madman obsessed with the belief that ''everyone'' is a heretic even if they're innocent is up to the real-life reader to determine. Probably everything given how incredibly "you're guilty especially if you're innocent" the book tends to be.

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Witch Hunters|Tactics/Witch Hunters]]
{{clear}}
{{Template:Inquisition}}
{{Imperium}}
[[Category:Inquisition]]

Heterosexual Sex in the Missionary Position

2020-04-18T00:28:27Z

2607:FB90:34D4:135C:81DD:9B7:52C4:7C2: /* Gallery */

{{/d/}}
{{Stub}}
{{Topquote|You were holding hands in public! You perverts!|Kanna}}
[[Image:Rikka-yuuta.png|thumb|right|None so vile!]]

The life-long goal of [[Macha]] is to enjoy this with someone that isn't a fucking [[Callidus|Callidus Temple Assassin]]. Despite her alleged racism, she would cheerfully fuck a human or Dark Eldar if it meant she didn't have to be a virgin anymore. [[The Final Saga of Macha the Ever-Virgin: Extra Large Heresy|So she did, albeit roughly.]]

Also the goal of many a fa/tg/uy (the ones who aren't frequenters of [[/d/]] at any rate).

It's [[Ultramarines|vanilla]] sex. [[Pretend|Really, there's not a whole lot to say]].

Someone once laughed at this tired joke several years ago, but neo-4chan continues to spam it at every half-assed opportunity like the Pavlovian untermensch they are, because if it was funny for a short while it must be funny every day year after year.

==A [[Meme]] on /d/==
One of the rare few genuinely hilarious memes on /d/, the gist of which is a very simple premise:

* Someone posts a request for Heterosexual Sex in the Missionary Position between a consenting married couple with the purpose of bonding and procreation.

* /d/ proceeds to scream about how that's absolutely disgusting and how the poster is a sick fuck.

Hilarity through irony ensues.

==Variants==
There exists something so abominable that even Slaanesh is unable to fap to it...

'''Platonic Lewds''': Two persons of different gender, both of which are in pyjamas, lie in the same bed and... Just sleep... They don't do anything... Truly abominable...

'''Handholding''': a truly despicable act by which the arm tentacles of one person are entwined with those of another.

This meme doesn't have to be completely adhere to the fetish above as the gallery shows below. The core element is that a fetish that is truly vile is recognized for what it is by most users.

==Gallery==
{{Promotions}}
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Hand Holding.jpg|I think I'm going to vomit.
Image:Hand-holding thread.jpg|Fuck, I can't unsee it!
Image:THE LEWDNESS.gif|HERESY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Image:Women who love me.png|/tg/ is supposed to be a work safe board!
File:Sick.png|Images depicting bestiality, guro, scat, or generally seen to be "extreme" in nature are not to be uploaded.
File:Absolutely disgusting.jpg
File:Impure thoughts.jpg|PLEASE STOP, THINK OF THE CHILDREN.
File:Ch! consent.jpg
</gallery>
</center>
[[Category:Pages with broken file links‏‎]]
[[Category:Meme]]

Sisters of Battle

2020-04-17T22:45:42Z

2607:FB90:34D4:135C:81DD:9B7:52C4:7C2:

[[File:AdSor 2.jpg|300px|right|thumb|We'd like to [[Flamer|talk]] [[Bolter|to]] [[Meltagun|you]] for a moment about your [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Lord and Savior]]]]
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smqK5cHSxMA '''PLASTIC SISTERS CONFIRMED, FOR REAL THIS TIME''']

{{Topquote|Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity.|H.P. Lovecraft}}

''[[Guidelines of the Space Marines|Space Marine Guideline]] 1: Thou shalt not refer to the Adepta Sororitas as "[[Bolter]] [[Bitches]]," nor shalt thou go anywhere near our sisters during the time of their "Red Rage," lest thou wish to be the first human to enter orbit without the aid of a shuttle.

{{Topquote|Praise be the Emperor and pass the ammunition, for what one doesn't cure the other will|Dark Heresy Inquisitors Handbook}}

'''Sisters of Battle''' are essentially [[Warhammer 40k]]'s female equivalent of [[Space Marines]], warriors devoted to the [[God-Emperor_of_Mankind|Emperor]]. Although they lack the genetic modification of their beefier brethren, they also wear [[power armour]] and are armed mainly with the ubiquitous [[Bolter]] and [[Chainsword]]. The Sisters of Battle are also known as the "Daughters of the Emperor", and officially as the '''"Adepta Sororitas"''', though the Adepta Sororitas refers to their entire organization, while the term Sisters of Battle refers only to their militant branch. They are more colloquially known by players as "bolter bitches/babes" or "nuns with guns", almost always resulting in an awkward boner. They are ''not'' to be confused with [[Female Space Marines]].

==Overview==
[[File:Lusty Marine.png|300px|thumb|left]]
The Sisters of Battle are part of the [[Ecclesiarchy]], the religious arm of Imperial government, and sometimes work with the [[Inquisition]]'s [[Witch Hunters]]. In the 36th millennium, the Ecclesiarchy's pope, a guy called [[Goge Vandire]], attained the dual position of Ecclesiarch and Master of the Administratum, effectively giving him control over everyone in the Imperium, including nearly all of its armed forces. With the exception of the Space Marines and Adeptus Mechanicus, pretty much everyone had to do what he said or face a slow and agonizing death. Unfortunately for everyone who wasn't lucky enough to be a Space Marine or Tech-Priest, he was also completely insane, and his rule was so devastating that it came to be known as the Reign of Blood, leading to untold billions of deaths across the Imperium, which in turn led to violent warp storms the likes of which wouldn't be seen again until the formation of the [[Great Rift]] 5,000 years later. During this period, Vandire discovered a force of warrior-nuns living on the feudal world of San Leor known as the Daughters of the Emperor. Although they initially didn't want anything to do with him, he convinced them that he was the Emperor's chosen by having his bodyguard shoot him while he was protected by the force field of a rosarius. Because the relatively primitive Daughters of the Emperor had never seen a force field before, they assumed that this meant Vandire was protected by the Emperor, and happily joined him. Rechristened as the Brides of the Emperor, they served as Vandire's personal bodyguards, shock troops, servants, and concubines. With a force of hyper-loyal Battle Sisters at his command, Vandire became effectively untouchable, proven when he had the Sisters execute all of the [[High Lords of Terra]], which he quickly replaced with his cronies. Suffice to say, things looked pretty bleak.

Of course, this state of affairs couldn't last forever. Late in his reign, a preacher known as [[Sebastian Thor]] rose to prominence in the Imperium, leading a massive crusade to Terra to take down Vandire once and for all. Agreeing that they too were sick of the High Lord, the Space Marines and Adeptus Mechanicus joined forces and launched an assault on Terra, matching themselves against Frateris Templars, Sisters of Battle, and those [[Imperial Guard]] and [[Imperial Navy|Navy]] forces that hadn't joined the insurrection. Unfortunately for them, the Sisters numbered around 10,000 women by this point, and they were battle-hardened, motivated, and armed to the teeth. The siege dragged on interminably, with no end in sight. Getting desperate, the Space Marines contacted the Adeptus Custodes, who had remained neutral for most of the siege, but agreed to help the insurrectionists out. Using secret passages to avoid the fighting, the Captain-General of the Custodes presented himself to Alicia Dominica, the leader of the Brides of the Emperor. After debating with her for some time, the Captain-General realized that she wasn't going to budge, and resorted to an extreme course of action; he took her and her five closest compatriots to the Imperial Palace and into the throneroom of the Emperor himself. No one knows what happened in there, but when the six women re-emerged, they went straight to Vandire, declared him a heretic of the highest degree, and beheaded him.

In the aftermath of this conflict, the Imperium underwent a substantial political restructuring known as the Reformation, designed to prevent another Reign of Blood from ever occurring. As part of this restructuring, the High Lords decreed that the Ecclesiarchy was no longer allowed to maintain "men under arms." Of course, while this meant the Ecclesiarchy had to disband their fleet and standing armies of Frateris Templars, the Sisters of Battle were technically allowed to remain, being women under arms and not men. While many point to this as an example of the idiocy of the High Lords of Terra, this easily-circumventable wording was likely intentional, as unlike the other Ministorum forces, the Sisters of Battle had proven that their loyalty was to the Emperor first and the Ecclesiarchy second, meaning that they could be relied upon to police the Ministorum as well as protect it.

In combat, Sisters of Battle have something of an obsession with the purifying effects of flame, and generally choose equipment that allows them to cover heretics with as much holy promethium and thermal lances as possible. This philosophy is most obviously exemplified by the Immolator tank, essentially a rolling [[METAL BOXES|steel crate]] with giant flamethrowers or multi-meltas stuck on it. They also have the [[Exorcist]], a mobile pipe organ that shoots missiles. Less accurate than the Whirlwind Missile Launcher or any Imperial Guard artillery, but who cares, the thought of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flmoGRFZ7jc|pipe organs launching missiles while playing epic mass complete with Latin] is fucking awesome, dammit.

[[File:Ordersmilitant.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Brief overviews of the six main Orders. For a long time, this was basically the only lore that most of them had.]]
There are six main Orders, divided between the two Convents that were separated in the 36th Millenium: Prioris and Sanctorum. All minor Orders are descended from one of these six.

'''Convent Prioris Orders:'''
* [[Order of the Argent Shroud|'''Argent Shroud:''']] The Lawful Goods. Are a rarity among Imperial factions, in that they are described as being famous for selfless heroism, as well as altruism. For this reason, /tg/ likes to fluff them as noble space Paladins and she-bros to the [[Salamanders]]. They wear Silver.
* '''[[Order of the Ebon Chalice|Ebon Chalice]]:''' The vanilla Order. These Sisters haven't changed a whole lot since they were first created, preferring to stick to their tried and tested methods. The most dedicated to flamers and psyker-killing. They wear Black and White.
* [[Order of the Sacred Rose|'''Sacred Rose:''']] Cool, calm and collected. The most tactical Sisters. Enjoy gunning their foes down in a more disciplined manner. <s>If they were to get their own rules, their Rets would have slow and purposeful</s> their rules are dedicated to the new 8e mechanic for the sisters in Miracle Die, and it's accumulation. The most defensively minded of all. They wear white.

'''Convent Sanctorum Orders:'''
* [[Order of the Bloody Rose|'''Bloody Rose:''']] Aggressive as fuck. Aim to kill off their enemies as quickly as possible, as they see no reason to let the heretic live any longer than necessary. They wear Red.
* '''[[Order of Our Martyred Lady|Our Martyred Lady]]:''' The postergirl Order, probably the ones who come to mind when people think of Sisters. The amount of favouritism they receive from GW is slightly disturbing. Just take a look at the Notable Sororitas Characters table below to get an idea of how they dominate SoB fluff. The Order itself is reputed as being determined even for SoBs, which is saying something. Will not stop until their enemies are utterly destroyed. They wear black and red. They originally wore all-black armour to show their mourning for St. Katherine, but changed the cloth to red to honour their losses during the Third War for Armageddon.
* [[Order of the Valorous Heart|'''Valorous Heart:''']] Repent! These Sisters feel the guiltiest about that whole [[Age of Apostasy]] thing, and as a result have an excess of [[Sisters Repentia|BDSM berserkers]]. Likely on constant lookout for the slightest sign of weakness in themselves or any allies serving alongside them. They wear the most black.

==Sororitas Orders Non-Militant==
As mentioned in the opening, not all of the Adepta Sororitas are actually Sisters of Battle. A number of Orders exist which officially serve non-combat-related roles in Imperial Society, although they tend to receive even less attention than their combat-fighting sisters. The largest source of info on these Sororitas thus-far is the ''Blood of Martyrs'' sourcebook for [[Dark Heresy]], which specifies the three most important Orders and mentions the existence of others. The latest 8e codex also covered the non-militant orders in some level of depth, as well as expanding on a few of the lesser known orders that were originally mentioned in ''Blood of Martyrs''.

* '''[[Orders Dialogous]]:''' These Sororitas are dedicated to the studying of language, with tasks ranging from interpreting long-lost texts to accompanying Imperial diplomats on contact missions with intelligent xenos species. Thanks to their training, even the most average Sororitas knows several hundred everyday human dialects and dozens of secret cants, ciphers, even xenos tongues. Sororitas of these Orders are some of the few individuals judged worthy (and capable) of actually understanding the [[Eldar]] tongue.
* '''[[Orders Famulous]]:''' Figuratively the [[Dune|Bene Gesserit]], without the kung fu skills from perfect body control. These Sororitas serve intimately with the upper echelons of Imperial society, acting as chamberlains, counselors, and consuls to the nobility. Their focus is on the spiritual and genetic purity of the human race, so they concern themselves with not only seeing to the education of nobles, but also secretly arranging alliances and marriages, in the hope of preventing corruption and inbreeding from taking root. They are particularly involved in tracking the manifestations of saints, which makes them a popular ally for Thorian Inquisitors.
* '''[[Sister Hospitaler|Orders Hospitaller]]:''' Healers and medics, these Sororitas are amongst the most skilled and compassionate surgeons in the Imperium, meaning they are commonly found attached to the [[Imperial Guard]]. Given their mission, they are one of the more beloved orders by the common citizenry of the Imperium. Of course, this being the Imperium, they're also expert torturers often called upon for that purpose by the Ecclesiarchy and the Inquisition, though Inquisitors are cautioned against using Hospitallers to keep important heretics alive; they have a bad tendency to forget about the future gains and instead "take the Emperor's justice into their own hands".
* '''Others:''' Scores, perhaps even hundreds, of minor non-militant Orders exist within the Adepta Sororitas.
** '''Orders Fenestrus:''' maintain the armaglass windows of Imperial shrines and cathedrals.
** '''Orders Madriga:''' Compose the temple choirs.
** '''Orders Sabine:''' infiltrate newly rediscovered worlds and prepare them for the Missionarius Galaxia.
** '''Orders Planxilium:''' leading processionals on holy days.
**'''Orders Pronatus:''' retrieving, repairing, and guarding holy relics from around the Imperium.
** '''Orders Vespila:''' sanctifying the dead and forensic specialists.

==Daily Rituals==
*04:00: Reveille: The Sisters are roused from their beds on the hard stone floor.
*05:00: Grooming: The Sisters shower, comb their hair, and brush their teeth. This is the point where roughly 80% of anything with the Sisters involved is imagined.
*06:00: Matins: A light prayer session of two hours in total silence.
*08:00: Breakfast: A light meal of flavorless gruel, as anything more enjoyable is an indulgence of the flesh and thus not to be tolerated.
*08:10: Morning Target Practice: The Sisters assemble for target practice, with roughly 50% more praying than other target practice sessions.
*11:00: Physical Training and Self-Mortification: The Sisters train their bodies, before whipping themselves and eachother. This is where the other 20% of anything with the Sisters involved is imagined.
*12:00: Ritual Abstention from Lunch.
*12:05: Meditation: The Sisters are encouraged to reflect on the weaknesses of flesh, and the unnecessary nature of midday meals.
*13:00: Midday Hike: The Sisters indulge in a scenic hike, in full power armour.
*15:00: Executions: Guardsmen found to show insufficient faith, excessive sympathy for mutants, improperly shined boots, improperly maintained bolters, and insufficient faith in the God-Emperor, again.
*16:00: Battle Practice: The Sisters gather to practice fighting with their extremely lethal weapons, sparring combat with each at full power is mandatory.
*18:00: Vespers: A light prayer session of two hours, in slightly louder silence.
*20:00 Surprise Inspection: The Sisters are inspected to ensure proper faith and equipment maintainence.
*20:30: A Second, Even More Surprising Inspection.
*21:00: Evening Meal.
*22:00: Compline and bedtime.

==Sisters Snuff==
Back in [[Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader|1st Edition]], they were present fluff only as an order that was essentially the [[Just As Planned|Inquisition for everyone including the Inquisition]] (like an Inquisition Internal Affairs branch; a "who watches the watchmen?" deal) and [[Derp|Space Marines]]. This would change in later editions, when they eventually get their own codex.

In 1997, when the [[Necron|Necrons]] were launched, [[Games Workshop]] had them face the Sisters in a Battle report, which the Sisters lost. The results of this battle report then became the [[Sanctuary 101]] fluff. Games Workshop liked the result so much that they decided the Sisters of Battle should get slaughtered all the time. Unless they are falling to Chaos, obviously. Some fans blame popular GW whipping boy [[Matthew Ward|Matt "Spiritual Liege" Ward]] for this tendency, but it was there long before he got here [[FATAL|and it continues to exist after he left]].

Please note that while [[Heresy|fa/tg/uys]] [[/d/|masturbate furiously]] to fanfics of Sisters engaging in bdsm fetish sex with the likes of other Lesbian sisters, servitors, children, Schola Progenium cadets, Eldar, Dark Eldar, [[WhipsOil&Lofn|Half-Eldar]] or [[Sister of Nurgle|even the likes of Nurgle]], all of the below actually, '''canonically''' ''fucking happened''. (It should also be worth noting that they're getting stomped '''by their own fucking allies''' in most of these.)

[[File:Warhammer_40k_sisters_of_battle_adeptas_sororitas_battling_Dark_Eldar.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Heroic Lesbian Space Nuns + Evil BDSM Space Elves = Shut up and take my money! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fU5ZHQLsGo FAP !FAP! FAP!] ]]
Some highlights include:
* Some of a Dialogus Order and some Battle Sisters turned to Chaos by a [[Slaanesh|Slaaneshi]] Keeper of Secrets.
* A whole Order Mind Controlled by one Chaos [[Psyker]]. Fucking [[C.S.Goto|Goto]] (This happened again in the Ciaphas Cain books, although it was only a tiny convent with a couple of squads of sisters, not a entire Order and said pskyer was also a direct lieutenant of the [[Failbaddon|Despoiler]] himself and could control [[powergamer|entire planets]]).
* An Order is present in another Ciaphas Cain book, wherein they're tricked into exterminating the workers of a mining outpost and sheltering a rogue Inquisitor. In an unrelated matter, they nearly cost the Imperial Guard a crucial battle against the Tyranids because they couldn't keep their bloodlust in check (Only Ciaphas Cain calling them out for leaving countless civilians to be slaughtered in their temples as they pushed forward made them reconsider). That said, it's one of the kinder portrayals in this list, because the Sisters in that battle do manage to make it back to the defense lines, and the entire Order dies in a later battle covering the Commissar's exit in repentance.
* A strike force of [[Celestians]] and an [[Inquisitor]] being killed, cannibalized, and sacrificed by the Sons of Malice Astartes chapter for disturbing their victory rites and falsely accusing the chapter of heresy. (To be fair, a small force of sisters against an entire Chapter? Still doesn't excuse the cannibalism, though.)
* A whole shrine-world of Sisters killed by a <s>[[Chaos Dreadnought#Helbrute|Helbrute]]</s> [[Daemon Engine]] powered by [[rage]]. It shrugs off meltas, meltabombs and multiple [[Exorcist]] volleys, and the efforts of a number of [[Salamanders]] in Terminator armour. A [[Living Saint]] even gives up her divinity (not to be confused with virginity) to stop it by speaking the bound Daemon's true name (her order had a vow of silence, probably so the audio recording team didn't need to hire women to do any of the speaking rolls for the audio drama), therefore weakening it after her aura of peace causes it to calm down and shrink down to the size of a man instead of a massive daemon walker. The daemon is then destroyed when its shell is broken after a Space Marine decides to throw a [[Power weapon|Thunder Hammer]] at it. ''We are not making this shit up''.
* A detachment of Sisters killed by [[Grey Knights]], [[Khornate Knights|their bodies sliced open and their blood applied to the Grey Knights' armor, so the Grey Knights can be immune to the Bloodtide's effects (though some of the Sisters were immune with faith alone, make of that what you will).]] The Bloodtide was retconned in the most recent Grey Knights Codex to instead go down holding the line long enough for their Grey Knight allies to finish off the Daemons. Still losing, but at least this time they die with dignity.
* In another instance of Grey Knight-on-Sororita violence, during the climax of the first novel of the Grey Knight series, a detachment of Sisters led by Cannoness Ludmilla is tricked by a Chaos-turned Inquisitor into thinking that the Grey Knights pursuing it are Chaos Space Marines. Later (as in a few pages later), said detachment gets nearly kamikaze'd by said Grey Knight Strike Cruiser, which itself was shot down by Imperial Navy ships fooled into thinking that it was Chaos - starting to see a pattern here? Surprisingly, the only dudes that die from the crash are Imperial Guard and PDF - the Sisters survive but only to get the ever-Emprah-lovin' shit beaten out of them by the surviving Grey Knights. The sisters pull no punches, however, and do manage to take out a few of Alaric's squadmates, so power to them. BUT WAIT. Seeing as this was written by a much more competent author, unlike the ambiguous piece of shite-fluff written by a certain [[Matthew Ward|spiritual liege]], both sides figure out that this was part of an elaborate case of [[JUST AS PLANNED]], they stop fighting,and even more shockingly, the person who ends it is Cannoness Ludmilla, after noticing the FUCKHUEG books bolted on the GK's mighty pauldrons, and team up to take down the Big Baddy.

* Apart from the codex stuff, they were also stomped in the video game ''[[Dawn Of War|Dawn of War: Soulstorm]]''. It all started when [[Selena Agna]] of the Sacred Rose falsely accused Governer General [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]] for the Warp Storm that appeared in Kaurava system. The sisters then had a zealots hard on which resulted in them thinking that everyone, even their imperial brethren ([[Space Marines|Space Marines]] and [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Guards]]) should be purged. Stubbs, like a true gentleman, not only dismissed the claim, but was also planning to destroy the sisters without [[Khornate Knights|the worries of committing a heretical action]] because "fuck you, no way me and my men gonna die for from some crazy bitch's accusation." They were presumably killed sacrificing themselves in an attempt to destroy the enemy, though we don't know who it was that wiped them out (however considering that Gorgutz is the canonical winner, it was likely him). Also, funny story, but that bit about accusing the Imperial Guard of starting the Warp Storm? ''They were right.'' The Chaos ending reveals that the storm was triggered by an Imperial Guardsman who turned out to be a latent psyker. Oops.

==The Sudden Yet Inevitable Betrayal==
{{MattWard}}

[[File:Sister_Hmph.jpg|200px|thumb|left|The reaction of Sisters and SoB players everywhere to the codex update.]] On August 1, 2011 [[Games Workshop]] finally decided to attempt to "revamp" the Sisters of Battle with a [[White Dwarf]] codex, much to the aggravation of about two thirds of the [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Witch Hunters|Witch Hunters']] remaining playerbase. It was by no means a horrible update; initial worries on [[/tg/]] suggested it to be akin to a biblical plague in terms of disaster-level, when in truth it was simply sub-average. The update had its fluff written by [[Matt Ward|your SPIRITUAL LIEGE]]. In spite of this, it was squarely in-level with another [[Tyranids|bad codex update]], because the rules were clearly written by committee.

Gone were the various inquisitorial units that got gobbled up by the [[Grey Knights]] codex update. This meant that many of the classics, like [[Witch Hunters#Notable Members of the Ordos Hereticus|Lord Inquisitor Krazypantzoff]] and [[Officio Assassinorum|Temple Assassins]], were gone, though they were replaced with Ecclesiarchy characters like [[Uriah Jacobus]] and [[Arch-Confessor Kyrinov]]. The Sisters did get some of Grey Knight units, namely [[Death Cult Assassin|Death Cult Assassins]], [[Arco-flagellant|Arco-Flagellants]], and [[Crusaders|Crusaders]], though their usefulness was questionable at best. [[Immolator|Immolators]] took a nasty nerf-bat to the face, being unable to fire on the move and losing all fire-points, which basically made them more-cost-effective [[Razorback Transport]]s). Who would have thought that Games Workshop would update an army by [[Carnifex|nerfing the one model every player had a couple of so that they all have to go out and buy new models]]?

Faith was functionally changed to a game of roulette, with randomized dice rolls deciding how much (if anything at all) you get. Units were given very specific faith powers on a squad-by-squad basis now, and whilst several were powerful, others were meh at best. [[Image:Repressor.jpg|right|thumb|Heavy armor in an update? We fucking ''wish''.]] Whereas before you had a nice general army that could use faith points to adapt to different situations, in the [[White Dwarf|Dwarf-dex]] system you had mostly weaker powers that were unreliable. Powers that most other units for similar points get permanently.

[[Sisters Repentia]] were originally purportedly nerfed, but in the end they were ''vastly'' better, boasting a 6++ invulnerable save, Fleet, and double their original number of attacks with a faith act to do more on death - meaning they stood a good chance of fucking up a lot of units they wouldn't pre-update... So ''now'' instead of paying ridiculous prices for a sick joke, you're just paying ridiculous prices for a suicide squad. At least they'll rape shit while they're there now. ''Progress''!

Sadly, things were muddled by a spree of fake releases as part of an [[Troll|April Fool's Prank]]. Original reports of genuinely useful units to offset the loss of the [[Stormtrooper|Stormtroopers]] and inducted forces thus turned out to be false. There was also talk of a new heavy transport/assault vehicle called the [[Repressor]], but it turned out to be part of the same fucking April Fool's Prank and is still Forgeworld-only (which sucks because it would be an improvement). Of the new characters, Kyrinov was semi-useful, and Jacobus was near-mandatory if you wanted to do anything with Acts of Faith. So in summary, about a third of the Sisters' armory is now gone without being replaced by anything. (The [[Bretonnia|knights]] feel your pain now.)

The biggest kick in the cunt for the Sisters, aside from the obvious loss of utility units, was the loss of ally rules and inducted unit rules. One of the biggest advantages the Sisters had was the ability to, courtesy of the Ordo Hereticus, requisition allied forces. A time-honored method of getting around the relatively weak Sisters of Battle vehicular lineup was to take some Inducted Guardsmen for a Leman Russ or two, or Space Marines for a Predator. The loss of Inquisitors also came with the loss of [[Land Raider|Land Raiders]] as dedicated transports, which was another stab at their vehicular capabilities.

===The Eternal Vigil===
[[Image:Homelesssister.jpg|right|thumb|She waited for so long, and finally found what she needed. Last seen burning heretics in battle with tears of joy streaming down her face.]]
While many members of [[/tg/]] are violently, gleefully convinced the sisters are on their way to be [[Squat|squatted]], a tiny contingent of the faithful keeps a candle burning, waiting for the day that their beloved bolter bitches will rise again ([[Finecast|tiny bubbles]] and all). [[Awesome|Behold, our prayers has been answered IN PLASTIC!]]

*'''0172008.M3:''' The Sisters are released as a playable faction in [[Dawn of War|Dawn of War: Soulstorm]]. While it is poorly designed and built, it still drums up some enthusiasm for the Sisters. Many conflicted feels are had.
*'''0583011.M3:''' [[Matt Ward|The Destroyer]] and [[Robin Cruddace|The Cruddace]] release a playable [[White Dwarf]] codex for the sisters, hinting at a similar treatment to the [[Blood Angels|Blood <s>Angels]] </s> <s> heretics </s> fuck you.
*'''0608012.M3:''' The sisters are retained for the 6E allies system and given a new flyer via [[Forge World]]. An unconfirmed leak shows a line up of new Sisters characters in development.
*'''0569013.M3:''' Faithful pilgrims supplicate themselves before the great and powerful [[Jervis Johnson]] asking for news on the Sisters. They are told that all armies are being worked on and there are no plans to discontinue support for the sisters. [[Phil Kelly|The Kelly]] adds that modeling issues prevented their release previously.
*'''05611013.M3:''' Rumors begin swirling about an [[Warhammer 40,000/6th Edition Tactics/Adepta Sororitas|official digital codex]] release for the Sisters. A leaked and subsequently confirmed White Dwarf advert later confirms this, and promises an updated version of the 5e codex. A later interview with [[Robin Cruddace|The Cruddace]] indicates that the codex will include tweaks to Faith and points cost, and that if it sells well enough it may get a physical release. The release date for the digital codex was set for October 19th. Later comments on the GW Digital Editions facebook page confirms a Warlord Traits Chart, Ecclesiarchy Relics and an Altar of War, in addition to some updates, new fluff and artwork and changes to faith and points costs. It appears that the Sisters prayers have been at least partially answered. A physical release however is still very much dependent on the sale of this eBook however. Also during all this GW changes the name from Sisters of Battle to Adepta Sororitas most likely because it sounds cooler and is [[ChapterHouse Studios|easier to maintain copyright on]]. The reactions are mixed when the Codex is released, with such changes like making all Acts of Faith usable only once, maximum twice, per battle and many buffs and nerfs around the board, leaving many arguing whatever the Sisters got better or majorly screwed. However, this mixed reception '''is''' better than the universally negative reception of the [[White Dwarf]] codex.
*'''09999015.M3:''' Escalation is released, alongside Stronghold Assault. While Stronghold Assault slips by unnoticed, the Sisters of Battle receive no Lords of War choices in an otherwise controversial and poorly thought out expansion. It then falls to Forge World to release a downloadable sheet a few days later saying that Sisters armies can take Warhound & Reaver titans, as well as Marauder Bombers & Destroyers as Lords of War. The Sisters have yet to comment on how overkill these choices might be if they can ever deploy them. The Reaver is at least far too expensive for normal games.
*'''0914016.M3:''' The Adepta Sororitas digital codex finally gets a physical release as part of [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Imperial Agents|Codex: Imperial Agents]]. Like the digital codex, the new one has a mixed reception, as it removes Saint Celestine from the army (leaving the Sisters with a single named character) and comes with a formation that called the Vestal Task Force that isn't great. However, it also allows for Ministorum Priests to be taken independently, and separates the component units of the Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave, though these units are not given any buffs to make them useful on their own. Not much, but it was something.
[[Image:Celestine Fall of Cadia.jpg|left|thumb|Guess who's back, bitches?]]
*'''0999016.M3:''' The Warhammer TV team, after the initial hint in the video which saw Magnus announced, releases a compilation of 2016 launches. At the end of said video can be seen clearly several launches of January, including no other than a new plastic kit of the '''Living Saint Celestine''', supposedly tied to the release of The Gathering Storm: Fall of Cadia. The internet, and specially /tg/ and the SoB players go nuts shortly after that, which only gets worse after the confirmation in a Twitch live few hours later.
*'''0019017.M3:''' Fall of Cadia releases and Sisters are starting to return to the limelight. Not only do the Nuns With Guns play a substantial role in the 13th Black Crusade, but Saint Celestine is one of the key characters of the story, bringing reinforcements, rallying the beleaguered Imperial Forces, and facing off with [[Abaddon]] himself. She also gets updated rules which turn her into a powerhouse, capable of calling orbital strikes, chopping tanks in half, buffing nearby Imperial units, and becoming nearly impossible to kill. The book also comes with additional Ecclesiarchy Relics, causing much rejoicing among SoB fans.
*'''0233018.M3:''' In the Adepticon XVI of 018.M3, the team disclosed a plethora of information of future releases: [[Imperial Knight#Castellan_Knight_Patterns|Knights Castellan]], photos of the [[Idoneth Deepkin]] for AoS, a TCG of AoS and more. One of these announcements is the confirmation that '''THE RENOVATION IN PLASTIC OF THE SISTERS OF BATTLE IS HAPPENING'''. This is due to the overwhelming support of the fanbase during the Great Survey, which convinced the high-ups to give them what is due. The release date is unconfirmed, but temporally is "Emperor's willing, 019.M3" and in the meantime the whole process of designing, creating and bringing them back will be made public. The Long Vigil is coming to an end. PRAISE THE EMPRAH!!
*'''0999018.M3:''' GW releases beta Adepta Sororitas rules in Chapter Approved 2018. Despite an insane amount of hype, the rules end up being rather lackluster, and are met with a [[Skub|mixed reaction]] from the community. Although the beta rules help Sisters in some ways, such as buffing Exorcists and making Uriah Jacobus worth his point cost, they also include a series of inexplicable nerfs which drastically reduce their overall utility as an army, such as removing eviscerators from Canonesses, splitting up Celestine and the Geminae Superia, and completely removing wargear options from Ministorum Priests. Worst of all, they reworked Acts of Faith into a points-based system which was both more confusing and less useful than the Index Acts of Faith rules, effectively giving Sisters an army-wide nerf. Fortunately, this was just a beta codex, and [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2019/03/04/battle-sister-bulletin-part-2-beta-rules-feedback/ GW is listening to the community's response.]
*'''0659019.M3:''' During the Nova open a new box set for the sisters was revealed, with new models for the Penitent engine and the Mistress of Repentance as well as confirming November to be the release month for the Sisters new range. The end of the Eternal Vigil is in sight.
*'''0877019.M03:''' The Sister of battle boxset is released..... and then instantly sells out, leaving many Sister fans without a box. GW addresses this saying there will be another chance to get the box in stores on November 29th. [[Tzeentch|Almost as if this was planned]]. It's also announced that the proper release for Sisters with the multi-part kits will actually drop during January 2020, so Sister player will have to wait a little longer for the actual release.
*'''0050020.M03:''' The first actual wave of new Sister models drops, along with the codex, with the next waves of new Sister models being released over the next few weeks. After 23 years, the Sisters of Battle have new, proper plastic model sets. The Eternal Vigil is finally over.

===Getting Started With The Nuns===

Buy the 2019 starter set; its everything we hoped for.

Or, if you want an alternative...

Look to [[Anvil Industry]], because the Sisters of the Burning Rose are on the way, and are awesome enough as is to kick the shit out of the current official Sisters models. GW's gonna have to really up their game if they don't want to be outdone by a 3rd Party manufacturer. Another good option is the Sisters of Faith from [[Shieldwolf Miniatures]]; so good, in fact, that [https://spikeybits.com/2017/10/hard-plastic-sisters-wolves-kickstarter-canceled.html Games Workshop sent the Kickstarter for them a dubious C&D because they were afraid of the competition.]

==THE RETURN!==

[[File:WHFest2019-Sororitas1.jpg|250px|thumb|right|A fully painted sneak peak of things to come. Amazingly, GW has taken the time to learn how to sculpt female models [[Commorragh Slaves|that don't look hideous]], though they still haven't learned that [[THIN YOUR PAINTS|using CAD to sculpt in zillions of fiddly details makes life hell for novice painters.]] And she finally has a name! Sister Superior Amalia Novena.]]

'''THIS IS NOT A DRILL, REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THE NUNS WITH GUNS ARE RETURNING AND SHALL BE IN PLASTIC NO LESS!!'''

On the 21st of March in the year of our [[Emperor|Lord]] 2018, Warhammer Community uploaded [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smqK5cHSxMA a short video] stating that ([[Emperor]] willing) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFX8S9aAgvw&feature=youtu.be&t=31s Sisters will be getting some kind of an update in 2019]. In addition, on the warhammer community page [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2018/03/22/breaking-news-major-revealsgw-homepage-post-1/] after all the Age of Sigmar stuff, they added that Sisters of Battle will be released in [[Awesome|plastic form]], with the starter released in November 2019.

The Sisters will not be going the way of [[Squats|Bretonnia, the space Dwarves, Kislev and Nehekhara]] after all. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usfiAsWR4qU Praise be!]

'''GLORIA GLORIA, HALLELUJAH AMEN! PRAISE THE GOD-EMPEROR'''

==The James Swallow books: SoBs can win too!==
[[File:Hammer-and-anvil.jpg|250px|thumb|left|Sister Miriya from Hammer & Anvil; yes, [[Black Library]] artists can draw pretty sisters too.]]
Among [[Black Library]], there are two books, specifically starring the Sisters, that are widely considered to be some the finest portrayals of SoBs in all of [[40K]] fluff. Both were authored by [[James Swallow]], who decided that Sisters needed some attention and got to work. The first, [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/Faith-and-Fire.html Faith and Fire], has the Sisters battling with what are basically terrorist psykers on a shrine world while trying to uncover the reasons behind the attacks. Then there's the sequel, [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/Hammer-and-Anvil.html Hammer and Anvil]. Remember reading about Sanctuary 101 up there? This book has them going back there and trying to figure out what happened. While saying too much would be spoiling it, it can be said that shit hits the fan hard and that the final battle is very epic stuff. Also, if you're feeling extra faithful, Swallow wrote an SoB audiobook called [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/red-and-black-mp3.html Red and Black]. A prequel to Faith and Fire, it has the Sisters being sent to a recently rediscovered planet as representatives of the Imperium, and ultimately to judge it. Needless to say, things get complicated. Also features a Scottish SoB. So, you can help the Sisters by getting the above books so that [[Games Workshop]] and Black Library may decide to change their minds and give some love to these girls. Or at least give them some additional badass portrayals.

==Tactics==
The Sisters of Battle employ a costly yet simple tactic whenever they're called out for battle:

 1. Bring thousands of sexually deprived Sisters of Battle into the field.
 2.Arm them all with Melta and flame-based weapons. Small squads of Storm Bolters also encouraged.
 3.<s>Tell them they can shlick to the image of the Emperor if they triumph over the foul enemies of the Imperium.</s> {{BLAM|'''HERESY. *BLAM*'''}}
 4.Set them loose, hope you are not fighting slaaneshi cult, hope you're fighting Dark Eldar wyches (although they do seem to be doing that just fine in one of the artworks on this page).
 5.If they do win, all remaining Imperial troops, save for the SoBs, are ordered off the field.
 6.No other accounts can be heard of, as remembrancers and all other Imperial journalists are sworn to an oath of silence on whatever events transpired (one theory is it would look like a mix of "Soldier of Fortune" and "Girls Gone Wild")
 7.????
 8.Profit.

''(Yes we do have a real tactica, its [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Adeptus_Ministorum(8E)|here]].)''

==Notable Sororitas Characters==
{|align=center border="1" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0""
|-
|align=center|'''Name'''
|align=center|'''Order'''
|align=center|'''Description/Current Status'''
|align=center|'''Image'''
|align=center|'''Model'''
|-
|align=center|'''[[Canoness Veridyan]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|The canoness from the cover of the 2nd Edition codex. A steadfast, calculating woman who operates with a high degree of precision.
|align=center|[[Image:Veridyan Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|[[Image:Veridyan Model.jpg|150px|]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Ephrael Stern]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|Also known as the Thrice-Born and the Daemonifuge. A living weapon against Chaos with incredible psychic power, currently heading to the Black Library with an exiled Harlequin.
|align=center|[[Image:Ephrael Stern Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|[[Image:SternMini.JPG|150px|]] [[File:Ephrael Stern and Kyganil-2020.png|150px]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Miriael Sabathiel]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]] (formerly)
|align=center|Former Sister Superior of the Order of Our Martyred Lady and one of the very few Sisters who fell to Chaos (specifically, Slaanesh worship).
|align=center|[[Image:Miriael Sabathiel Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|None
|-
|align=center|'''[[Miriya]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|Celestian Superior of the Order of Our Martyred Lady and protagonist of Swallow's Sister of Battle books. Best known for her independent, headstrong attitude as well as her creative interpretation of orders. While this frequently gets her into trouble with her superiors, it also makes her uniquely qualified for handling situations that require quick action and outside-the-box thinking.
|align=center|[[Image:Mirya Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|None
|-
|align=center|'''[[Saint Celestine]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]] (formerly)
|align=center|A sister who became one of the most famous [[Living Saint|Living Saints]] in the Imperium. Best known for her angelic presence, relentless optimism, and resurrection
powers, the latter of which makes her nearly impossible to kill. She's also heavily implied to be the Imperial equivalent of a [[daemon prince]].
|align=center|[[Image:Celestine Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|[[Image:Celestine 7e.jpg|150px|]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Canoness-Errant Setheno]]'''
|align=center|Order of Piercing Thorn (Minoris)
|align=center|After completely eradicating her own order on '''suspicion''' of corruption, she became Canoness-Errant, a vaguely defined position that involves a lot of asskicking.
Inquisitors wish they were as scary as her. Allied with the [[Black Dragons]] and [[Commissar Yarrick]]. Also she can apparently move fast enough to cut bolter fire, and block lasfire.
|align=center|None
|align=center|None
|-
|align=center|'''[[Saint Katherine]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of the Fiery Heart]]
|align=center|A living saint and whose death caused her order to rename themselves to the Order of Our Martyred Lady. Also, it's her armour and sword that are now wielded by Saint Celestine.
|align=center|None
|align=center|[[File:Sisters The Triumph of Saint Kathrine.jpg|150px]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Canoness Superior Junith Eruita]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|A new Canoness revealed for the new SoB lineup. After the cathedral she was fighting in collapsed on her, [[Awesome|she punished the cathedral for trying to kill her]] by turning its unbroken pulpit into her personal weapons platform.
|align=center|None
|align=center|[[File:Sister JunithEruita.jpg|150px]]
|}

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Adeptus Ministorum(8E)]]: Tactica on how to play them.
*[[Sisters of Battle Order Creation Tables]]: Create your very own Order of pyromaniac nuns.
*[[Sisters of Sigmar]]: The Warhammer Fantasy equivalent
*[[Sisters of Silence]]: Not to be confused with Sisters of Battle.
*[[/tg/ Codex Supplement - Faith Militant]]: An [[Warhammer 40,000 8th edition|8th edition]] [[homebrew]] codex supplement for everyone's favorite Nuns With Guns. Includes new characters, frateris milita, flyers, customizable Living Saints, and much more!
*[[Sisters of Cleaning]]: a [[/tg/]] created order who put the "maid" in "battle maiden".
*[[The Times and Trials of Klightus]]: a love story about a shy [[Imperial Guard | Guardsman]] and a Sister of Battle.
*[[The Steadfast Pewter Sororitas]]: a sad story about what happens to those metal Sisters that don't get bought.
*[[Sister of Nurgle]]: An article riddled with the blessings of Nurgle and [[PROMOTIONS]].

===/tg/-Created Orders===
*[[Order Of The Armoured Heart]]: Melee specialists who wear specially constructed strength-enhancing carapace armor instead of power armor.
*[[Order of the Blinded Martyr]]: Proud warriors who believe the Sororitas should be excellent soldiers first and foremost. They kick a lot of ass, but also have a bad habit of not retreating when they should, which has brought them to the brink of extinction.
*[[Order of the Guiding Light]]: Defenders of the solar archeotech on the planet Pasiphae alongside their [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cult Mechanicus]] allies. Sworn enemies of Tzeentch and his minions who seek to take the world for [[Just as planned|probably nefarious purposes]].
*[[Order of the Martyred Heart]]: Aztec-themed sisters who utilize holy blood rituals to empower their warriors with the [[The Emperor|Sun-Emperor's]] might. Close allies with the [[Blood Jaguars]] space marine chapter.
*[[Order of the Obsidian Mirror]]: A rare fusion of an order dialogus and an order militant, the sisters of the Obsidian Mirror are experts in covert and psychological warfare who wage a deadly secret war throughout the Ultima Segmentum.
*[[Order of the Pointed Word]]: Guardians of the vital trade world of Dar-al-Rashid who prize wisdom and intellect above all. The sisters of the Pointed Word are master strategists who utilize a highly mobile form of warfare to secure victory.
*[[Order of the Waning Dawn]]: [[Nazi|Genetic purists]] who hate the mutant and the alien even more than most Sisters of Battle. Rather than having a homeworld, they're based out of a warp-capable space fortress called the Fist of Purity. Currently engaged in a brutal four-way war on the [[Black Sentinels]] recruiting world of Derosk XII against [[Tau Empire|T'au]], [[Ork]], and [[Dark Eldar]] forces.

==External Links==
*[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1426730/ suptg archive about Sisters of Battle and pedophilia].
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHuNbWMBAeA FOR THE IMPERIUM! ''Hey, there's no rule saying that warrior space nuns can't be badass.'']
*[https://www.sendspace.com/file/8zykal Rules & Summary for Codex: Adepta Sororitas, for those who do not like the clusterfuck 7e digital codex.]
*[https://youtu.be/__GHpmdmJu0/ They can also sing!].

==Gallery==

===General===
<center>
<gallery>
AdSor.jpg|Scourge and Purge!
16 bit Battle Sisters SteelJoe.gif|The Action-Girls of 40k (Animated!)
Nun n' Gun.jpg|What? U MAD [[Space Marines|SPESS MAHREEN?]]
Sister of D'awwwww.jpg|They aren't actually this cute. -But they should be.-
But That's Heresy.jpg|But whatever it is, it's probably worth it. Maybe.
Sororit as planned.jpg| The rape face you know you love.
Pedo Sisters.jpg
NoiseMarine SoB.jpg | [[Rape|We all know how this is going to end.]]
MujuLolcron.jpg|Love Can Bl-- wait.
Sororitas.png
Ephrael_stern_page29.jpg|There was a sister in the [[Lost Worlds]] battlebook series.
1290509755821.jpg|Can't read my, Can't read my, No he cannot read my Purging Face (She's got no one to spare)
Sistersnslaanesh.jpg| Incompetent Inquisitor is incompetent (Hey, we know he did that on purpose).
1269678816033.jpg|dum dum dum... dummmm
1228253984074.jpg|OMNOMNOMNOM
1230052783344.png|Post whenever you need to make a fa/tg/uy rage that he doesn't understand the role and jurisdiction of Commissars.
Peachsororitas.jpg|Sorry Mario, but your Heresy is in another castle
Games Workshop Hates France.jpeg|This is rain.
File:Part Deux.jpg|2019. The year [[Warhammer fantasy|everybody]] [[Bretonnia|came back]].
1232217288173.jpg
LolimoNsis.png
B0018254_4897156440df9.jpg|Grimdark meets [[Hot Chicks]].
1227858843066.jpg|Sisters love delicious xeno shota.
Sororita_change_poster.png|Yes We Can
Nagasister_of_battle.jpg|Are we this desperate for recruits?
Haters.png|Haters gonna BURN in 2019!
Sistersuperior.jpg
1335738154693.jpg
SisterShy.jpg|You don't want to see her tsun side.
Notsureheresy.jpg
Heretic%3F_Colored.jpg|Better purge them anyway...
SisterCheer.jpg|<s>NO THATS STUPID NO NO NO.</s> Let's face it, being a bunch of glorified cheerleaders isn't that far off the mark nowadays...
Sisterweeaboo.jpg
Pyschosister.jpg|[[Awesome|Problems heretics?]]
ChaosCookies.png|Just as planned.
BurnHereticsBurn.jpg|Heretics gunna get burned.
SororitaInquisitorIsntHome.jpg|When the Inquisitor's away, the Sisters will play...
Sisters of repentia sisters of battle Adepta Sororitas rule 34 montage can't believe how hard fetish rule 34 Warhammer 40k myoc redux.jpg|As hilarious as it is to picture a bunch of semi-nude nuns bull rushing a carnifex or a baneblade through a hail of gunfire, it's also weirdly sexy. Behold, the [[Sisters Repentia]].
Sororitastakeabreak.png|What the Sisters were reduced to until 2019.
Remember.jpg|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smqK5cHSxMA Remember]
</gallery>
</center>

===Cosplay===
<center>
<gallery>
Sororita cosplay7.jpg
SororitaAsianCosplay.jpg|Sister Shoju
Sororita_cosplay4.jpg
Repentia_+_bolter_bitches.jpg|The [[China|Chinese]] are beating us to the punch.
Sis.jpg
Celestine Cosplay.jpg|Sweet Emprah!
SoB Cosplay.jpg
SoB Cosplay 2.jpg|Scarred sisters are best sisters
SoB Cosplay 3.jpg
Shenzi sob warhammer 77 by cynshenzi-dalqqbb.jpg
1518145539057.png
1468433605143314511.jpg
1514910964169599531.jpg
SoB Cosplay 4.jpg
SoB Cosplay 5.jpg
1522066264701.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

===New Models===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Battle sister 1.jpg|The new Battle Sisters.
File:Nova-Sob-Seraphim.jpg
File:Sister Celestial.jpg|Celestials, Dominions and battle sisters all share the same kit now.
File:Sister Dominion.jpg|"Hellraiser! In the thunder and heat!"
File:Sister Retributors.png|New Retributors.... just put some helmets on them and it will all be kosher. (That 5 o'clock shadow tho...)
File:Sister Dialogous.jpg|New Dialogous.
File:Sister MultiCannoness.jpg|A character kit with options? What year is it?
File:Sisters Repentia.jpg|The new Repentia. The most [[Skub]] causing models of the entire range.
File:Sister Hospitiler.jpg
File:Sister Imagifier.jpg|"You brought a flag? That's cute"
File:Sister Zephyrim.png|
File:BSB Rhino.jpg|Look! Rhinos! RHINOS! The sisters hide in METAL BAWKSES, DA KOWARDZ! TEH FEWLZ!!
File:Sister Exorcist.jpg|The next song is titled "Get Fucked".
File:Sister Immolator.jpg|BEHOLD THE IMMOLATOR!
File:Nova-SoB-Pentient.jpg|The Pentient engine lost weight.... and a few inches in height.
File:Sisters Mortifier.jpg|A new variant of pentient engine, called a Mortifier.
File:New Damien 1427.png|New Arco-Flagellants, and a returning face.
File:Sister Battle Sanctum.png|And it wouldn't be an 8th edition update without a building.
</gallery>
</center>

===Emblems===
<center>
<gallery>
OrderOfOurMartyredLadyEmblem.jpg|Our Martyred Lady
OrderOfTheArgentShroudEmblem.jpg|Argent Shroud
OrderOfTheBloodyRoseEmblem.jpg|Bloody Rose
OrderOfTheEbonChaliceEmblem.jpg|Ebon Chalice
OrderOfTheSacredRoseEmblem.jpg|Sacred Rose
OrderOfTheValorousHeartEmblem.jpg|Valorous Heart
</gallery>
</center>

===PROMOTIONS===
 
{{Promotions}}
 
<center>
<gallery>

Canoness femdom.jpg|Goddamn fetishists... '''Ohoho!''' The [[Slaanesh|glorious satin throne]] is telling me '''someone''' is feeling a little butthurt! Speaking of which I'm late for my [[Rape|lunchtime appoin-]]{{BLAM|}} {{BLAM|Filthy Slaanesh worshipper!}}
Sistergangbang.png|There are not too many men (not counting old priests) in Adepta Sororitas so they have to improvise.
Strip_hammer_commission_for_propertyoflamb_by_hotgum-dagtqp6.jpg|What happens when a Battle Sister, a Repentia, a Hospitaller and a Living Saint decide they need to make a little cash?
R-daemonette 10.jpg |evidence that slaneesh can corrupt sisters of battle
Repentia_1.jpg|Sisters Repentia are supposed to repent. Stop whinging you know we know that you like this more.
FIGHTBYMYSIDE.jpg| An imperial artist's representation of a living saint.
1230051355300.gif|GENESTEALERS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. <s>-But they should-</s> NO THEY SHOULDN'T, YOU SICK [[Slaanesh|PERV]].
Sister reading heretical text by Naga.gif
1233114472588.png|Unlike other settings, in 40k this kind of thing DOESN'T work. Still kinda hot though.
Sororitas strawberries.jpg
Sisters.jpg
1228252747952.jpg|Cum my sisters!
Repentia_2.jpg|Not that they are fanatical about it.
sister_n_slaaneshi.jpg|Sister in ''deep'' trouble.
SistervsLeviathan.jpg|OMNOMNOMNOM
Sororita_by_ipheli-d9mzze4.png|Sister Temeraire at rest
Sororita_2_rest_by_ipheli-damic1m.png|Interesting place for your devotional tattoo...
Saint celestine and the geminae superia by sexual yeti-dat6rd3.png|Sexy Celestine
91a96fb85899c260cb028d6ac34603b6.jpg
ToTheEnd.jpg|To the end...
</gallery>
</center>

==Navigation==
{{Sororitas-Characters}}
{{Sisters-of-Battle}}
{{Imperium}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]
[[category:Imperial]]
[[Category:Matt Ward]]
[[Category:Sisters of Battle]]

Sisters of Battle

2020-04-17T22:45:19Z

2607:FB90:34D4:135C:81DD:9B7:52C4:7C2:

[[File:AdSor 2.jpg|300px|right|thumb|We'd like to [[Flamer|talk]] [[Bolter|to]] [[Meltagun|you]] for a moment about (y)our [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Lord and Savior]]]]
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smqK5cHSxMA '''PLASTIC SISTERS CONFIRMED, FOR REAL THIS TIME''']

{{Topquote|Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity.|H.P. Lovecraft}}

''[[Guidelines of the Space Marines|Space Marine Guideline]] 1: Thou shalt not refer to the Adepta Sororitas as "[[Bolter]] [[Bitches]]," nor shalt thou go anywhere near our sisters during the time of their "Red Rage," lest thou wish to be the first human to enter orbit without the aid of a shuttle.

{{Topquote|Praise be the Emperor and pass the ammunition, for what one doesn't cure the other will|Dark Heresy Inquisitors Handbook}}

'''Sisters of Battle''' are essentially [[Warhammer 40k]]'s female equivalent of [[Space Marines]], warriors devoted to the [[God-Emperor_of_Mankind|Emperor]]. Although they lack the genetic modification of their beefier brethren, they also wear [[power armour]] and are armed mainly with the ubiquitous [[Bolter]] and [[Chainsword]]. The Sisters of Battle are also known as the "Daughters of the Emperor", and officially as the '''"Adepta Sororitas"''', though the Adepta Sororitas refers to their entire organization, while the term Sisters of Battle refers only to their militant branch. They are more colloquially known by players as "bolter bitches/babes" or "nuns with guns", almost always resulting in an awkward boner. They are ''not'' to be confused with [[Female Space Marines]].

==Overview==
[[File:Lusty Marine.png|300px|thumb|left]]
The Sisters of Battle are part of the [[Ecclesiarchy]], the religious arm of Imperial government, and sometimes work with the [[Inquisition]]'s [[Witch Hunters]]. In the 36th millennium, the Ecclesiarchy's pope, a guy called [[Goge Vandire]], attained the dual position of Ecclesiarch and Master of the Administratum, effectively giving him control over everyone in the Imperium, including nearly all of its armed forces. With the exception of the Space Marines and Adeptus Mechanicus, pretty much everyone had to do what he said or face a slow and agonizing death. Unfortunately for everyone who wasn't lucky enough to be a Space Marine or Tech-Priest, he was also completely insane, and his rule was so devastating that it came to be known as the Reign of Blood, leading to untold billions of deaths across the Imperium, which in turn led to violent warp storms the likes of which wouldn't be seen again until the formation of the [[Great Rift]] 5,000 years later. During this period, Vandire discovered a force of warrior-nuns living on the feudal world of San Leor known as the Daughters of the Emperor. Although they initially didn't want anything to do with him, he convinced them that he was the Emperor's chosen by having his bodyguard shoot him while he was protected by the force field of a rosarius. Because the relatively primitive Daughters of the Emperor had never seen a force field before, they assumed that this meant Vandire was protected by the Emperor, and happily joined him. Rechristened as the Brides of the Emperor, they served as Vandire's personal bodyguards, shock troops, servants, and concubines. With a force of hyper-loyal Battle Sisters at his command, Vandire became effectively untouchable, proven when he had the Sisters execute all of the [[High Lords of Terra]], which he quickly replaced with his cronies. Suffice to say, things looked pretty bleak.

Of course, this state of affairs couldn't last forever. Late in his reign, a preacher known as [[Sebastian Thor]] rose to prominence in the Imperium, leading a massive crusade to Terra to take down Vandire once and for all. Agreeing that they too were sick of the High Lord, the Space Marines and Adeptus Mechanicus joined forces and launched an assault on Terra, matching themselves against Frateris Templars, Sisters of Battle, and those [[Imperial Guard]] and [[Imperial Navy|Navy]] forces that hadn't joined the insurrection. Unfortunately for them, the Sisters numbered around 10,000 women by this point, and they were battle-hardened, motivated, and armed to the teeth. The siege dragged on interminably, with no end in sight. Getting desperate, the Space Marines contacted the Adeptus Custodes, who had remained neutral for most of the siege, but agreed to help the insurrectionists out. Using secret passages to avoid the fighting, the Captain-General of the Custodes presented himself to Alicia Dominica, the leader of the Brides of the Emperor. After debating with her for some time, the Captain-General realized that she wasn't going to budge, and resorted to an extreme course of action; he took her and her five closest compatriots to the Imperial Palace and into the throneroom of the Emperor himself. No one knows what happened in there, but when the six women re-emerged, they went straight to Vandire, declared him a heretic of the highest degree, and beheaded him.

In the aftermath of this conflict, the Imperium underwent a substantial political restructuring known as the Reformation, designed to prevent another Reign of Blood from ever occurring. As part of this restructuring, the High Lords decreed that the Ecclesiarchy was no longer allowed to maintain "men under arms." Of course, while this meant the Ecclesiarchy had to disband their fleet and standing armies of Frateris Templars, the Sisters of Battle were technically allowed to remain, being women under arms and not men. While many point to this as an example of the idiocy of the High Lords of Terra, this easily-circumventable wording was likely intentional, as unlike the other Ministorum forces, the Sisters of Battle had proven that their loyalty was to the Emperor first and the Ecclesiarchy second, meaning that they could be relied upon to police the Ministorum as well as protect it.

In combat, Sisters of Battle have something of an obsession with the purifying effects of flame, and generally choose equipment that allows them to cover heretics with as much holy promethium and thermal lances as possible. This philosophy is most obviously exemplified by the Immolator tank, essentially a rolling [[METAL BOXES|steel crate]] with giant flamethrowers or multi-meltas stuck on it. They also have the [[Exorcist]], a mobile pipe organ that shoots missiles. Less accurate than the Whirlwind Missile Launcher or any Imperial Guard artillery, but who cares, the thought of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flmoGRFZ7jc|pipe organs launching missiles while playing epic mass complete with Latin] is fucking awesome, dammit.

[[File:Ordersmilitant.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Brief overviews of the six main Orders. For a long time, this was basically the only lore that most of them had.]]
There are six main Orders, divided between the two Convents that were separated in the 36th Millenium: Prioris and Sanctorum. All minor Orders are descended from one of these six.

'''Convent Prioris Orders:'''
* [[Order of the Argent Shroud|'''Argent Shroud:''']] The Lawful Goods. Are a rarity among Imperial factions, in that they are described as being famous for selfless heroism, as well as altruism. For this reason, /tg/ likes to fluff them as noble space Paladins and she-bros to the [[Salamanders]]. They wear Silver.
* '''[[Order of the Ebon Chalice|Ebon Chalice]]:''' The vanilla Order. These Sisters haven't changed a whole lot since they were first created, preferring to stick to their tried and tested methods. The most dedicated to flamers and psyker-killing. They wear Black and White.
* [[Order of the Sacred Rose|'''Sacred Rose:''']] Cool, calm and collected. The most tactical Sisters. Enjoy gunning their foes down in a more disciplined manner. <s>If they were to get their own rules, their Rets would have slow and purposeful</s> their rules are dedicated to the new 8e mechanic for the sisters in Miracle Die, and it's accumulation. The most defensively minded of all. They wear white.

'''Convent Sanctorum Orders:'''
* [[Order of the Bloody Rose|'''Bloody Rose:''']] Aggressive as fuck. Aim to kill off their enemies as quickly as possible, as they see no reason to let the heretic live any longer than necessary. They wear Red.
* '''[[Order of Our Martyred Lady|Our Martyred Lady]]:''' The postergirl Order, probably the ones who come to mind when people think of Sisters. The amount of favouritism they receive from GW is slightly disturbing. Just take a look at the Notable Sororitas Characters table below to get an idea of how they dominate SoB fluff. The Order itself is reputed as being determined even for SoBs, which is saying something. Will not stop until their enemies are utterly destroyed. They wear black and red. They originally wore all-black armour to show their mourning for St. Katherine, but changed the cloth to red to honour their losses during the Third War for Armageddon.
* [[Order of the Valorous Heart|'''Valorous Heart:''']] Repent! These Sisters feel the guiltiest about that whole [[Age of Apostasy]] thing, and as a result have an excess of [[Sisters Repentia|BDSM berserkers]]. Likely on constant lookout for the slightest sign of weakness in themselves or any allies serving alongside them. They wear the most black.

==Sororitas Orders Non-Militant==
As mentioned in the opening, not all of the Adepta Sororitas are actually Sisters of Battle. A number of Orders exist which officially serve non-combat-related roles in Imperial Society, although they tend to receive even less attention than their combat-fighting sisters. The largest source of info on these Sororitas thus-far is the ''Blood of Martyrs'' sourcebook for [[Dark Heresy]], which specifies the three most important Orders and mentions the existence of others. The latest 8e codex also covered the non-militant orders in some level of depth, as well as expanding on a few of the lesser known orders that were originally mentioned in ''Blood of Martyrs''.

* '''[[Orders Dialogous]]:''' These Sororitas are dedicated to the studying of language, with tasks ranging from interpreting long-lost texts to accompanying Imperial diplomats on contact missions with intelligent xenos species. Thanks to their training, even the most average Sororitas knows several hundred everyday human dialects and dozens of secret cants, ciphers, even xenos tongues. Sororitas of these Orders are some of the few individuals judged worthy (and capable) of actually understanding the [[Eldar]] tongue.
* '''[[Orders Famulous]]:''' Figuratively the [[Dune|Bene Gesserit]], without the kung fu skills from perfect body control. These Sororitas serve intimately with the upper echelons of Imperial society, acting as chamberlains, counselors, and consuls to the nobility. Their focus is on the spiritual and genetic purity of the human race, so they concern themselves with not only seeing to the education of nobles, but also secretly arranging alliances and marriages, in the hope of preventing corruption and inbreeding from taking root. They are particularly involved in tracking the manifestations of saints, which makes them a popular ally for Thorian Inquisitors.
* '''[[Sister Hospitaler|Orders Hospitaller]]:''' Healers and medics, these Sororitas are amongst the most skilled and compassionate surgeons in the Imperium, meaning they are commonly found attached to the [[Imperial Guard]]. Given their mission, they are one of the more beloved orders by the common citizenry of the Imperium. Of course, this being the Imperium, they're also expert torturers often called upon for that purpose by the Ecclesiarchy and the Inquisition, though Inquisitors are cautioned against using Hospitallers to keep important heretics alive; they have a bad tendency to forget about the future gains and instead "take the Emperor's justice into their own hands".
* '''Others:''' Scores, perhaps even hundreds, of minor non-militant Orders exist within the Adepta Sororitas.
** '''Orders Fenestrus:''' maintain the armaglass windows of Imperial shrines and cathedrals.
** '''Orders Madriga:''' Compose the temple choirs.
** '''Orders Sabine:''' infiltrate newly rediscovered worlds and prepare them for the Missionarius Galaxia.
** '''Orders Planxilium:''' leading processionals on holy days.
**'''Orders Pronatus:''' retrieving, repairing, and guarding holy relics from around the Imperium.
** '''Orders Vespila:''' sanctifying the dead and forensic specialists.

==Daily Rituals==
*04:00: Reveille: The Sisters are roused from their beds on the hard stone floor.
*05:00: Grooming: The Sisters shower, comb their hair, and brush their teeth. This is the point where roughly 80% of anything with the Sisters involved is imagined.
*06:00: Matins: A light prayer session of two hours in total silence.
*08:00: Breakfast: A light meal of flavorless gruel, as anything more enjoyable is an indulgence of the flesh and thus not to be tolerated.
*08:10: Morning Target Practice: The Sisters assemble for target practice, with roughly 50% more praying than other target practice sessions.
*11:00: Physical Training and Self-Mortification: The Sisters train their bodies, before whipping themselves and eachother. This is where the other 20% of anything with the Sisters involved is imagined.
*12:00: Ritual Abstention from Lunch.
*12:05: Meditation: The Sisters are encouraged to reflect on the weaknesses of flesh, and the unnecessary nature of midday meals.
*13:00: Midday Hike: The Sisters indulge in a scenic hike, in full power armour.
*15:00: Executions: Guardsmen found to show insufficient faith, excessive sympathy for mutants, improperly shined boots, improperly maintained bolters, and insufficient faith in the God-Emperor, again.
*16:00: Battle Practice: The Sisters gather to practice fighting with their extremely lethal weapons, sparring combat with each at full power is mandatory.
*18:00: Vespers: A light prayer session of two hours, in slightly louder silence.
*20:00 Surprise Inspection: The Sisters are inspected to ensure proper faith and equipment maintainence.
*20:30: A Second, Even More Surprising Inspection.
*21:00: Evening Meal.
*22:00: Compline and bedtime.

==Sisters Snuff==
Back in [[Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader|1st Edition]], they were present fluff only as an order that was essentially the [[Just As Planned|Inquisition for everyone including the Inquisition]] (like an Inquisition Internal Affairs branch; a "who watches the watchmen?" deal) and [[Derp|Space Marines]]. This would change in later editions, when they eventually get their own codex.

In 1997, when the [[Necron|Necrons]] were launched, [[Games Workshop]] had them face the Sisters in a Battle report, which the Sisters lost. The results of this battle report then became the [[Sanctuary 101]] fluff. Games Workshop liked the result so much that they decided the Sisters of Battle should get slaughtered all the time. Unless they are falling to Chaos, obviously. Some fans blame popular GW whipping boy [[Matthew Ward|Matt "Spiritual Liege" Ward]] for this tendency, but it was there long before he got here [[FATAL|and it continues to exist after he left]].

Please note that while [[Heresy|fa/tg/uys]] [[/d/|masturbate furiously]] to fanfics of Sisters engaging in bdsm fetish sex with the likes of other Lesbian sisters, servitors, children, Schola Progenium cadets, Eldar, Dark Eldar, [[WhipsOil&Lofn|Half-Eldar]] or [[Sister of Nurgle|even the likes of Nurgle]], all of the below actually, '''canonically''' ''fucking happened''. (It should also be worth noting that they're getting stomped '''by their own fucking allies''' in most of these.)

[[File:Warhammer_40k_sisters_of_battle_adeptas_sororitas_battling_Dark_Eldar.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Heroic Lesbian Space Nuns + Evil BDSM Space Elves = Shut up and take my money! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fU5ZHQLsGo FAP !FAP! FAP!] ]]
Some highlights include:
* Some of a Dialogus Order and some Battle Sisters turned to Chaos by a [[Slaanesh|Slaaneshi]] Keeper of Secrets.
* A whole Order Mind Controlled by one Chaos [[Psyker]]. Fucking [[C.S.Goto|Goto]] (This happened again in the Ciaphas Cain books, although it was only a tiny convent with a couple of squads of sisters, not a entire Order and said pskyer was also a direct lieutenant of the [[Failbaddon|Despoiler]] himself and could control [[powergamer|entire planets]]).
* An Order is present in another Ciaphas Cain book, wherein they're tricked into exterminating the workers of a mining outpost and sheltering a rogue Inquisitor. In an unrelated matter, they nearly cost the Imperial Guard a crucial battle against the Tyranids because they couldn't keep their bloodlust in check (Only Ciaphas Cain calling them out for leaving countless civilians to be slaughtered in their temples as they pushed forward made them reconsider). That said, it's one of the kinder portrayals in this list, because the Sisters in that battle do manage to make it back to the defense lines, and the entire Order dies in a later battle covering the Commissar's exit in repentance.
* A strike force of [[Celestians]] and an [[Inquisitor]] being killed, cannibalized, and sacrificed by the Sons of Malice Astartes chapter for disturbing their victory rites and falsely accusing the chapter of heresy. (To be fair, a small force of sisters against an entire Chapter? Still doesn't excuse the cannibalism, though.)
* A whole shrine-world of Sisters killed by a <s>[[Chaos Dreadnought#Helbrute|Helbrute]]</s> [[Daemon Engine]] powered by [[rage]]. It shrugs off meltas, meltabombs and multiple [[Exorcist]] volleys, and the efforts of a number of [[Salamanders]] in Terminator armour. A [[Living Saint]] even gives up her divinity (not to be confused with virginity) to stop it by speaking the bound Daemon's true name (her order had a vow of silence, probably so the audio recording team didn't need to hire women to do any of the speaking rolls for the audio drama), therefore weakening it after her aura of peace causes it to calm down and shrink down to the size of a man instead of a massive daemon walker. The daemon is then destroyed when its shell is broken after a Space Marine decides to throw a [[Power weapon|Thunder Hammer]] at it. ''We are not making this shit up''.
* A detachment of Sisters killed by [[Grey Knights]], [[Khornate Knights|their bodies sliced open and their blood applied to the Grey Knights' armor, so the Grey Knights can be immune to the Bloodtide's effects (though some of the Sisters were immune with faith alone, make of that what you will).]] The Bloodtide was retconned in the most recent Grey Knights Codex to instead go down holding the line long enough for their Grey Knight allies to finish off the Daemons. Still losing, but at least this time they die with dignity.
* In another instance of Grey Knight-on-Sororita violence, during the climax of the first novel of the Grey Knight series, a detachment of Sisters led by Cannoness Ludmilla is tricked by a Chaos-turned Inquisitor into thinking that the Grey Knights pursuing it are Chaos Space Marines. Later (as in a few pages later), said detachment gets nearly kamikaze'd by said Grey Knight Strike Cruiser, which itself was shot down by Imperial Navy ships fooled into thinking that it was Chaos - starting to see a pattern here? Surprisingly, the only dudes that die from the crash are Imperial Guard and PDF - the Sisters survive but only to get the ever-Emprah-lovin' shit beaten out of them by the surviving Grey Knights. The sisters pull no punches, however, and do manage to take out a few of Alaric's squadmates, so power to them. BUT WAIT. Seeing as this was written by a much more competent author, unlike the ambiguous piece of shite-fluff written by a certain [[Matthew Ward|spiritual liege]], both sides figure out that this was part of an elaborate case of [[JUST AS PLANNED]], they stop fighting,and even more shockingly, the person who ends it is Cannoness Ludmilla, after noticing the FUCKHUEG books bolted on the GK's mighty pauldrons, and team up to take down the Big Baddy.

* Apart from the codex stuff, they were also stomped in the video game ''[[Dawn Of War|Dawn of War: Soulstorm]]''. It all started when [[Selena Agna]] of the Sacred Rose falsely accused Governer General [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]] for the Warp Storm that appeared in Kaurava system. The sisters then had a zealots hard on which resulted in them thinking that everyone, even their imperial brethren ([[Space Marines|Space Marines]] and [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Guards]]) should be purged. Stubbs, like a true gentleman, not only dismissed the claim, but was also planning to destroy the sisters without [[Khornate Knights|the worries of committing a heretical action]] because "fuck you, no way me and my men gonna die for from some crazy bitch's accusation." They were presumably killed sacrificing themselves in an attempt to destroy the enemy, though we don't know who it was that wiped them out (however considering that Gorgutz is the canonical winner, it was likely him). Also, funny story, but that bit about accusing the Imperial Guard of starting the Warp Storm? ''They were right.'' The Chaos ending reveals that the storm was triggered by an Imperial Guardsman who turned out to be a latent psyker. Oops.

==The Sudden Yet Inevitable Betrayal==
{{MattWard}}

[[File:Sister_Hmph.jpg|200px|thumb|left|The reaction of Sisters and SoB players everywhere to the codex update.]] On August 1, 2011 [[Games Workshop]] finally decided to attempt to "revamp" the Sisters of Battle with a [[White Dwarf]] codex, much to the aggravation of about two thirds of the [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Witch Hunters|Witch Hunters']] remaining playerbase. It was by no means a horrible update; initial worries on [[/tg/]] suggested it to be akin to a biblical plague in terms of disaster-level, when in truth it was simply sub-average. The update had its fluff written by [[Matt Ward|your SPIRITUAL LIEGE]]. In spite of this, it was squarely in-level with another [[Tyranids|bad codex update]], because the rules were clearly written by committee.

Gone were the various inquisitorial units that got gobbled up by the [[Grey Knights]] codex update. This meant that many of the classics, like [[Witch Hunters#Notable Members of the Ordos Hereticus|Lord Inquisitor Krazypantzoff]] and [[Officio Assassinorum|Temple Assassins]], were gone, though they were replaced with Ecclesiarchy characters like [[Uriah Jacobus]] and [[Arch-Confessor Kyrinov]]. The Sisters did get some of Grey Knight units, namely [[Death Cult Assassin|Death Cult Assassins]], [[Arco-flagellant|Arco-Flagellants]], and [[Crusaders|Crusaders]], though their usefulness was questionable at best. [[Immolator|Immolators]] took a nasty nerf-bat to the face, being unable to fire on the move and losing all fire-points, which basically made them more-cost-effective [[Razorback Transport]]s). Who would have thought that Games Workshop would update an army by [[Carnifex|nerfing the one model every player had a couple of so that they all have to go out and buy new models]]?

Faith was functionally changed to a game of roulette, with randomized dice rolls deciding how much (if anything at all) you get. Units were given very specific faith powers on a squad-by-squad basis now, and whilst several were powerful, others were meh at best. [[Image:Repressor.jpg|right|thumb|Heavy armor in an update? We fucking ''wish''.]] Whereas before you had a nice general army that could use faith points to adapt to different situations, in the [[White Dwarf|Dwarf-dex]] system you had mostly weaker powers that were unreliable. Powers that most other units for similar points get permanently.

[[Sisters Repentia]] were originally purportedly nerfed, but in the end they were ''vastly'' better, boasting a 6++ invulnerable save, Fleet, and double their original number of attacks with a faith act to do more on death - meaning they stood a good chance of fucking up a lot of units they wouldn't pre-update... So ''now'' instead of paying ridiculous prices for a sick joke, you're just paying ridiculous prices for a suicide squad. At least they'll rape shit while they're there now. ''Progress''!

Sadly, things were muddled by a spree of fake releases as part of an [[Troll|April Fool's Prank]]. Original reports of genuinely useful units to offset the loss of the [[Stormtrooper|Stormtroopers]] and inducted forces thus turned out to be false. There was also talk of a new heavy transport/assault vehicle called the [[Repressor]], but it turned out to be part of the same fucking April Fool's Prank and is still Forgeworld-only (which sucks because it would be an improvement). Of the new characters, Kyrinov was semi-useful, and Jacobus was near-mandatory if you wanted to do anything with Acts of Faith. So in summary, about a third of the Sisters' armory is now gone without being replaced by anything. (The [[Bretonnia|knights]] feel your pain now.)

The biggest kick in the cunt for the Sisters, aside from the obvious loss of utility units, was the loss of ally rules and inducted unit rules. One of the biggest advantages the Sisters had was the ability to, courtesy of the Ordo Hereticus, requisition allied forces. A time-honored method of getting around the relatively weak Sisters of Battle vehicular lineup was to take some Inducted Guardsmen for a Leman Russ or two, or Space Marines for a Predator. The loss of Inquisitors also came with the loss of [[Land Raider|Land Raiders]] as dedicated transports, which was another stab at their vehicular capabilities.

===The Eternal Vigil===
[[Image:Homelesssister.jpg|right|thumb|She waited for so long, and finally found what she needed. Last seen burning heretics in battle with tears of joy streaming down her face.]]
While many members of [[/tg/]] are violently, gleefully convinced the sisters are on their way to be [[Squat|squatted]], a tiny contingent of the faithful keeps a candle burning, waiting for the day that their beloved bolter bitches will rise again ([[Finecast|tiny bubbles]] and all). [[Awesome|Behold, our prayers has been answered IN PLASTIC!]]

*'''0172008.M3:''' The Sisters are released as a playable faction in [[Dawn of War|Dawn of War: Soulstorm]]. While it is poorly designed and built, it still drums up some enthusiasm for the Sisters. Many conflicted feels are had.
*'''0583011.M3:''' [[Matt Ward|The Destroyer]] and [[Robin Cruddace|The Cruddace]] release a playable [[White Dwarf]] codex for the sisters, hinting at a similar treatment to the [[Blood Angels|Blood <s>Angels]] </s> <s> heretics </s> fuck you.
*'''0608012.M3:''' The sisters are retained for the 6E allies system and given a new flyer via [[Forge World]]. An unconfirmed leak shows a line up of new Sisters characters in development.
*'''0569013.M3:''' Faithful pilgrims supplicate themselves before the great and powerful [[Jervis Johnson]] asking for news on the Sisters. They are told that all armies are being worked on and there are no plans to discontinue support for the sisters. [[Phil Kelly|The Kelly]] adds that modeling issues prevented their release previously.
*'''05611013.M3:''' Rumors begin swirling about an [[Warhammer 40,000/6th Edition Tactics/Adepta Sororitas|official digital codex]] release for the Sisters. A leaked and subsequently confirmed White Dwarf advert later confirms this, and promises an updated version of the 5e codex. A later interview with [[Robin Cruddace|The Cruddace]] indicates that the codex will include tweaks to Faith and points cost, and that if it sells well enough it may get a physical release. The release date for the digital codex was set for October 19th. Later comments on the GW Digital Editions facebook page confirms a Warlord Traits Chart, Ecclesiarchy Relics and an Altar of War, in addition to some updates, new fluff and artwork and changes to faith and points costs. It appears that the Sisters prayers have been at least partially answered. A physical release however is still very much dependent on the sale of this eBook however. Also during all this GW changes the name from Sisters of Battle to Adepta Sororitas most likely because it sounds cooler and is [[ChapterHouse Studios|easier to maintain copyright on]]. The reactions are mixed when the Codex is released, with such changes like making all Acts of Faith usable only once, maximum twice, per battle and many buffs and nerfs around the board, leaving many arguing whatever the Sisters got better or majorly screwed. However, this mixed reception '''is''' better than the universally negative reception of the [[White Dwarf]] codex.
*'''09999015.M3:''' Escalation is released, alongside Stronghold Assault. While Stronghold Assault slips by unnoticed, the Sisters of Battle receive no Lords of War choices in an otherwise controversial and poorly thought out expansion. It then falls to Forge World to release a downloadable sheet a few days later saying that Sisters armies can take Warhound & Reaver titans, as well as Marauder Bombers & Destroyers as Lords of War. The Sisters have yet to comment on how overkill these choices might be if they can ever deploy them. The Reaver is at least far too expensive for normal games.
*'''0914016.M3:''' The Adepta Sororitas digital codex finally gets a physical release as part of [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Imperial Agents|Codex: Imperial Agents]]. Like the digital codex, the new one has a mixed reception, as it removes Saint Celestine from the army (leaving the Sisters with a single named character) and comes with a formation that called the Vestal Task Force that isn't great. However, it also allows for Ministorum Priests to be taken independently, and separates the component units of the Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave, though these units are not given any buffs to make them useful on their own. Not much, but it was something.
[[Image:Celestine Fall of Cadia.jpg|left|thumb|Guess who's back, bitches?]]
*'''0999016.M3:''' The Warhammer TV team, after the initial hint in the video which saw Magnus announced, releases a compilation of 2016 launches. At the end of said video can be seen clearly several launches of January, including no other than a new plastic kit of the '''Living Saint Celestine''', supposedly tied to the release of The Gathering Storm: Fall of Cadia. The internet, and specially /tg/ and the SoB players go nuts shortly after that, which only gets worse after the confirmation in a Twitch live few hours later.
*'''0019017.M3:''' Fall of Cadia releases and Sisters are starting to return to the limelight. Not only do the Nuns With Guns play a substantial role in the 13th Black Crusade, but Saint Celestine is one of the key characters of the story, bringing reinforcements, rallying the beleaguered Imperial Forces, and facing off with [[Abaddon]] himself. She also gets updated rules which turn her into a powerhouse, capable of calling orbital strikes, chopping tanks in half, buffing nearby Imperial units, and becoming nearly impossible to kill. The book also comes with additional Ecclesiarchy Relics, causing much rejoicing among SoB fans.
*'''0233018.M3:''' In the Adepticon XVI of 018.M3, the team disclosed a plethora of information of future releases: [[Imperial Knight#Castellan_Knight_Patterns|Knights Castellan]], photos of the [[Idoneth Deepkin]] for AoS, a TCG of AoS and more. One of these announcements is the confirmation that '''THE RENOVATION IN PLASTIC OF THE SISTERS OF BATTLE IS HAPPENING'''. This is due to the overwhelming support of the fanbase during the Great Survey, which convinced the high-ups to give them what is due. The release date is unconfirmed, but temporally is "Emperor's willing, 019.M3" and in the meantime the whole process of designing, creating and bringing them back will be made public. The Long Vigil is coming to an end. PRAISE THE EMPRAH!!
*'''0999018.M3:''' GW releases beta Adepta Sororitas rules in Chapter Approved 2018. Despite an insane amount of hype, the rules end up being rather lackluster, and are met with a [[Skub|mixed reaction]] from the community. Although the beta rules help Sisters in some ways, such as buffing Exorcists and making Uriah Jacobus worth his point cost, they also include a series of inexplicable nerfs which drastically reduce their overall utility as an army, such as removing eviscerators from Canonesses, splitting up Celestine and the Geminae Superia, and completely removing wargear options from Ministorum Priests. Worst of all, they reworked Acts of Faith into a points-based system which was both more confusing and less useful than the Index Acts of Faith rules, effectively giving Sisters an army-wide nerf. Fortunately, this was just a beta codex, and [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2019/03/04/battle-sister-bulletin-part-2-beta-rules-feedback/ GW is listening to the community's response.]
*'''0659019.M3:''' During the Nova open a new box set for the sisters was revealed, with new models for the Penitent engine and the Mistress of Repentance as well as confirming November to be the release month for the Sisters new range. The end of the Eternal Vigil is in sight.
*'''0877019.M03:''' The Sister of battle boxset is released..... and then instantly sells out, leaving many Sister fans without a box. GW addresses this saying there will be another chance to get the box in stores on November 29th. [[Tzeentch|Almost as if this was planned]]. It's also announced that the proper release for Sisters with the multi-part kits will actually drop during January 2020, so Sister player will have to wait a little longer for the actual release.
*'''0050020.M03:''' The first actual wave of new Sister models drops, along with the codex, with the next waves of new Sister models being released over the next few weeks. After 23 years, the Sisters of Battle have new, proper plastic model sets. The Eternal Vigil is finally over.

===Getting Started With The Nuns===

Buy the 2019 starter set; its everything we hoped for.

Or, if you want an alternative...

Look to [[Anvil Industry]], because the Sisters of the Burning Rose are on the way, and are awesome enough as is to kick the shit out of the current official Sisters models. GW's gonna have to really up their game if they don't want to be outdone by a 3rd Party manufacturer. Another good option is the Sisters of Faith from [[Shieldwolf Miniatures]]; so good, in fact, that [https://spikeybits.com/2017/10/hard-plastic-sisters-wolves-kickstarter-canceled.html Games Workshop sent the Kickstarter for them a dubious C&D because they were afraid of the competition.]

==THE RETURN!==

[[File:WHFest2019-Sororitas1.jpg|250px|thumb|right|A fully painted sneak peak of things to come. Amazingly, GW has taken the time to learn how to sculpt female models [[Commorragh Slaves|that don't look hideous]], though they still haven't learned that [[THIN YOUR PAINTS|using CAD to sculpt in zillions of fiddly details makes life hell for novice painters.]] And she finally has a name! Sister Superior Amalia Novena.]]

'''THIS IS NOT A DRILL, REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THE NUNS WITH GUNS ARE RETURNING AND SHALL BE IN PLASTIC NO LESS!!'''

On the 21st of March in the year of our [[Emperor|Lord]] 2018, Warhammer Community uploaded [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smqK5cHSxMA a short video] stating that ([[Emperor]] willing) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFX8S9aAgvw&feature=youtu.be&t=31s Sisters will be getting some kind of an update in 2019]. In addition, on the warhammer community page [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2018/03/22/breaking-news-major-revealsgw-homepage-post-1/] after all the Age of Sigmar stuff, they added that Sisters of Battle will be released in [[Awesome|plastic form]], with the starter released in November 2019.

The Sisters will not be going the way of [[Squats|Bretonnia, the space Dwarves, Kislev and Nehekhara]] after all. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usfiAsWR4qU Praise be!]

'''GLORIA GLORIA, HALLELUJAH AMEN! PRAISE THE GOD-EMPEROR'''

==The James Swallow books: SoBs can win too!==
[[File:Hammer-and-anvil.jpg|250px|thumb|left|Sister Miriya from Hammer & Anvil; yes, [[Black Library]] artists can draw pretty sisters too.]]
Among [[Black Library]], there are two books, specifically starring the Sisters, that are widely considered to be some the finest portrayals of SoBs in all of [[40K]] fluff. Both were authored by [[James Swallow]], who decided that Sisters needed some attention and got to work. The first, [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/Faith-and-Fire.html Faith and Fire], has the Sisters battling with what are basically terrorist psykers on a shrine world while trying to uncover the reasons behind the attacks. Then there's the sequel, [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/Hammer-and-Anvil.html Hammer and Anvil]. Remember reading about Sanctuary 101 up there? This book has them going back there and trying to figure out what happened. While saying too much would be spoiling it, it can be said that shit hits the fan hard and that the final battle is very epic stuff. Also, if you're feeling extra faithful, Swallow wrote an SoB audiobook called [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/red-and-black-mp3.html Red and Black]. A prequel to Faith and Fire, it has the Sisters being sent to a recently rediscovered planet as representatives of the Imperium, and ultimately to judge it. Needless to say, things get complicated. Also features a Scottish SoB. So, you can help the Sisters by getting the above books so that [[Games Workshop]] and Black Library may decide to change their minds and give some love to these girls. Or at least give them some additional badass portrayals.

==Tactics==
The Sisters of Battle employ a costly yet simple tactic whenever they're called out for battle:

 1. Bring thousands of sexually deprived Sisters of Battle into the field.
 2.Arm them all with Melta and flame-based weapons. Small squads of Storm Bolters also encouraged.
 3.<s>Tell them they can shlick to the image of the Emperor if they triumph over the foul enemies of the Imperium.</s> {{BLAM|'''HERESY. *BLAM*'''}}
 4.Set them loose, hope you are not fighting slaaneshi cult, hope you're fighting Dark Eldar wyches (although they do seem to be doing that just fine in one of the artworks on this page).
 5.If they do win, all remaining Imperial troops, save for the SoBs, are ordered off the field.
 6.No other accounts can be heard of, as remembrancers and all other Imperial journalists are sworn to an oath of silence on whatever events transpired (one theory is it would look like a mix of "Soldier of Fortune" and "Girls Gone Wild")
 7.????
 8.Profit.

''(Yes we do have a real tactica, its [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Adeptus_Ministorum(8E)|here]].)''

==Notable Sororitas Characters==
{|align=center border="1" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0""
|-
|align=center|'''Name'''
|align=center|'''Order'''
|align=center|'''Description/Current Status'''
|align=center|'''Image'''
|align=center|'''Model'''
|-
|align=center|'''[[Canoness Veridyan]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|The canoness from the cover of the 2nd Edition codex. A steadfast, calculating woman who operates with a high degree of precision.
|align=center|[[Image:Veridyan Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|[[Image:Veridyan Model.jpg|150px|]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Ephrael Stern]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|Also known as the Thrice-Born and the Daemonifuge. A living weapon against Chaos with incredible psychic power, currently heading to the Black Library with an exiled Harlequin.
|align=center|[[Image:Ephrael Stern Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|[[Image:SternMini.JPG|150px|]] [[File:Ephrael Stern and Kyganil-2020.png|150px]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Miriael Sabathiel]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]] (formerly)
|align=center|Former Sister Superior of the Order of Our Martyred Lady and one of the very few Sisters who fell to Chaos (specifically, Slaanesh worship).
|align=center|[[Image:Miriael Sabathiel Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|None
|-
|align=center|'''[[Miriya]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|Celestian Superior of the Order of Our Martyred Lady and protagonist of Swallow's Sister of Battle books. Best known for her independent, headstrong attitude as well as her creative interpretation of orders. While this frequently gets her into trouble with her superiors, it also makes her uniquely qualified for handling situations that require quick action and outside-the-box thinking.
|align=center|[[Image:Mirya Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|None
|-
|align=center|'''[[Saint Celestine]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]] (formerly)
|align=center|A sister who became one of the most famous [[Living Saint|Living Saints]] in the Imperium. Best known for her angelic presence, relentless optimism, and resurrection
powers, the latter of which makes her nearly impossible to kill. She's also heavily implied to be the Imperial equivalent of a [[daemon prince]].
|align=center|[[Image:Celestine Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|[[Image:Celestine 7e.jpg|150px|]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Canoness-Errant Setheno]]'''
|align=center|Order of Piercing Thorn (Minoris)
|align=center|After completely eradicating her own order on '''suspicion''' of corruption, she became Canoness-Errant, a vaguely defined position that involves a lot of asskicking.
Inquisitors wish they were as scary as her. Allied with the [[Black Dragons]] and [[Commissar Yarrick]]. Also she can apparently move fast enough to cut bolter fire, and block lasfire.
|align=center|None
|align=center|None
|-
|align=center|'''[[Saint Katherine]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of the Fiery Heart]]
|align=center|A living saint and whose death caused her order to rename themselves to the Order of Our Martyred Lady. Also, it's her armour and sword that are now wielded by Saint Celestine.
|align=center|None
|align=center|[[File:Sisters The Triumph of Saint Kathrine.jpg|150px]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Canoness Superior Junith Eruita]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|A new Canoness revealed for the new SoB lineup. After the cathedral she was fighting in collapsed on her, [[Awesome|she punished the cathedral for trying to kill her]] by turning its unbroken pulpit into her personal weapons platform.
|align=center|None
|align=center|[[File:Sister JunithEruita.jpg|150px]]
|}

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Adeptus Ministorum(8E)]]: Tactica on how to play them.
*[[Sisters of Battle Order Creation Tables]]: Create your very own Order of pyromaniac nuns.
*[[Sisters of Sigmar]]: The Warhammer Fantasy equivalent
*[[Sisters of Silence]]: Not to be confused with Sisters of Battle.
*[[/tg/ Codex Supplement - Faith Militant]]: An [[Warhammer 40,000 8th edition|8th edition]] [[homebrew]] codex supplement for everyone's favorite Nuns With Guns. Includes new characters, frateris milita, flyers, customizable Living Saints, and much more!
*[[Sisters of Cleaning]]: a [[/tg/]] created order who put the "maid" in "battle maiden".
*[[The Times and Trials of Klightus]]: a love story about a shy [[Imperial Guard | Guardsman]] and a Sister of Battle.
*[[The Steadfast Pewter Sororitas]]: a sad story about what happens to those metal Sisters that don't get bought.
*[[Sister of Nurgle]]: An article riddled with the blessings of Nurgle and [[PROMOTIONS]].

===/tg/-Created Orders===
*[[Order Of The Armoured Heart]]: Melee specialists who wear specially constructed strength-enhancing carapace armor instead of power armor.
*[[Order of the Blinded Martyr]]: Proud warriors who believe the Sororitas should be excellent soldiers first and foremost. They kick a lot of ass, but also have a bad habit of not retreating when they should, which has brought them to the brink of extinction.
*[[Order of the Guiding Light]]: Defenders of the solar archeotech on the planet Pasiphae alongside their [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cult Mechanicus]] allies. Sworn enemies of Tzeentch and his minions who seek to take the world for [[Just as planned|probably nefarious purposes]].
*[[Order of the Martyred Heart]]: Aztec-themed sisters who utilize holy blood rituals to empower their warriors with the [[The Emperor|Sun-Emperor's]] might. Close allies with the [[Blood Jaguars]] space marine chapter.
*[[Order of the Obsidian Mirror]]: A rare fusion of an order dialogus and an order militant, the sisters of the Obsidian Mirror are experts in covert and psychological warfare who wage a deadly secret war throughout the Ultima Segmentum.
*[[Order of the Pointed Word]]: Guardians of the vital trade world of Dar-al-Rashid who prize wisdom and intellect above all. The sisters of the Pointed Word are master strategists who utilize a highly mobile form of warfare to secure victory.
*[[Order of the Waning Dawn]]: [[Nazi|Genetic purists]] who hate the mutant and the alien even more than most Sisters of Battle. Rather than having a homeworld, they're based out of a warp-capable space fortress called the Fist of Purity. Currently engaged in a brutal four-way war on the [[Black Sentinels]] recruiting world of Derosk XII against [[Tau Empire|T'au]], [[Ork]], and [[Dark Eldar]] forces.

==External Links==
*[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1426730/ suptg archive about Sisters of Battle and pedophilia].
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHuNbWMBAeA FOR THE IMPERIUM! ''Hey, there's no rule saying that warrior space nuns can't be badass.'']
*[https://www.sendspace.com/file/8zykal Rules & Summary for Codex: Adepta Sororitas, for those who do not like the clusterfuck 7e digital codex.]
*[https://youtu.be/__GHpmdmJu0/ They can also sing!].

==Gallery==

===General===
<center>
<gallery>
AdSor.jpg|Scourge and Purge!
16 bit Battle Sisters SteelJoe.gif|The Action-Girls of 40k (Animated!)
Nun n' Gun.jpg|What? U MAD [[Space Marines|SPESS MAHREEN?]]
Sister of D'awwwww.jpg|They aren't actually this cute. -But they should be.-
But That's Heresy.jpg|But whatever it is, it's probably worth it. Maybe.
Sororit as planned.jpg| The rape face you know you love.
Pedo Sisters.jpg
NoiseMarine SoB.jpg | [[Rape|We all know how this is going to end.]]
MujuLolcron.jpg|Love Can Bl-- wait.
Sororitas.png
Ephrael_stern_page29.jpg|There was a sister in the [[Lost Worlds]] battlebook series.
1290509755821.jpg|Can't read my, Can't read my, No he cannot read my Purging Face (She's got no one to spare)
Sistersnslaanesh.jpg| Incompetent Inquisitor is incompetent (Hey, we know he did that on purpose).
1269678816033.jpg|dum dum dum... dummmm
1228253984074.jpg|OMNOMNOMNOM
1230052783344.png|Post whenever you need to make a fa/tg/uy rage that he doesn't understand the role and jurisdiction of Commissars.
Peachsororitas.jpg|Sorry Mario, but your Heresy is in another castle
Games Workshop Hates France.jpeg|This is rain.
File:Part Deux.jpg|2019. The year [[Warhammer fantasy|everybody]] [[Bretonnia|came back]].
1232217288173.jpg
LolimoNsis.png
B0018254_4897156440df9.jpg|Grimdark meets [[Hot Chicks]].
1227858843066.jpg|Sisters love delicious xeno shota.
Sororita_change_poster.png|Yes We Can
Nagasister_of_battle.jpg|Are we this desperate for recruits?
Haters.png|Haters gonna BURN in 2019!
Sistersuperior.jpg
1335738154693.jpg
SisterShy.jpg|You don't want to see her tsun side.
Notsureheresy.jpg
Heretic%3F_Colored.jpg|Better purge them anyway...
SisterCheer.jpg|<s>NO THATS STUPID NO NO NO.</s> Let's face it, being a bunch of glorified cheerleaders isn't that far off the mark nowadays...
Sisterweeaboo.jpg
Pyschosister.jpg|[[Awesome|Problems heretics?]]
ChaosCookies.png|Just as planned.
BurnHereticsBurn.jpg|Heretics gunna get burned.
SororitaInquisitorIsntHome.jpg|When the Inquisitor's away, the Sisters will play...
Sisters of repentia sisters of battle Adepta Sororitas rule 34 montage can't believe how hard fetish rule 34 Warhammer 40k myoc redux.jpg|As hilarious as it is to picture a bunch of semi-nude nuns bull rushing a carnifex or a baneblade through a hail of gunfire, it's also weirdly sexy. Behold, the [[Sisters Repentia]].
Sororitastakeabreak.png|What the Sisters were reduced to until 2019.
Remember.jpg|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smqK5cHSxMA Remember]
</gallery>
</center>

===Cosplay===
<center>
<gallery>
Sororita cosplay7.jpg
SororitaAsianCosplay.jpg|Sister Shoju
Sororita_cosplay4.jpg
Repentia_+_bolter_bitches.jpg|The [[China|Chinese]] are beating us to the punch.
Sis.jpg
Celestine Cosplay.jpg|Sweet Emprah!
SoB Cosplay.jpg
SoB Cosplay 2.jpg|Scarred sisters are best sisters
SoB Cosplay 3.jpg
Shenzi sob warhammer 77 by cynshenzi-dalqqbb.jpg
1518145539057.png
1468433605143314511.jpg
1514910964169599531.jpg
SoB Cosplay 4.jpg
SoB Cosplay 5.jpg
1522066264701.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

===New Models===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Battle sister 1.jpg|The new Battle Sisters.
File:Nova-Sob-Seraphim.jpg
File:Sister Celestial.jpg|Celestials, Dominions and battle sisters all share the same kit now.
File:Sister Dominion.jpg|"Hellraiser! In the thunder and heat!"
File:Sister Retributors.png|New Retributors.... just put some helmets on them and it will all be kosher. (That 5 o'clock shadow tho...)
File:Sister Dialogous.jpg|New Dialogous.
File:Sister MultiCannoness.jpg|A character kit with options? What year is it?
File:Sisters Repentia.jpg|The new Repentia. The most [[Skub]] causing models of the entire range.
File:Sister Hospitiler.jpg
File:Sister Imagifier.jpg|"You brought a flag? That's cute"
File:Sister Zephyrim.png|
File:BSB Rhino.jpg|Look! Rhinos! RHINOS! The sisters hide in METAL BAWKSES, DA KOWARDZ! TEH FEWLZ!!
File:Sister Exorcist.jpg|The next song is titled "Get Fucked".
File:Sister Immolator.jpg|BEHOLD THE IMMOLATOR!
File:Nova-SoB-Pentient.jpg|The Pentient engine lost weight.... and a few inches in height.
File:Sisters Mortifier.jpg|A new variant of pentient engine, called a Mortifier.
File:New Damien 1427.png|New Arco-Flagellants, and a returning face.
File:Sister Battle Sanctum.png|And it wouldn't be an 8th edition update without a building.
</gallery>
</center>

===Emblems===
<center>
<gallery>
OrderOfOurMartyredLadyEmblem.jpg|Our Martyred Lady
OrderOfTheArgentShroudEmblem.jpg|Argent Shroud
OrderOfTheBloodyRoseEmblem.jpg|Bloody Rose
OrderOfTheEbonChaliceEmblem.jpg|Ebon Chalice
OrderOfTheSacredRoseEmblem.jpg|Sacred Rose
OrderOfTheValorousHeartEmblem.jpg|Valorous Heart
</gallery>
</center>

===PROMOTIONS===
 
{{Promotions}}
 
<center>
<gallery>

Canoness femdom.jpg|Goddamn fetishists... '''Ohoho!''' The [[Slaanesh|glorious satin throne]] is telling me '''someone''' is feeling a little butthurt! Speaking of which I'm late for my [[Rape|lunchtime appoin-]]{{BLAM|}} {{BLAM|Filthy Slaanesh worshipper!}}
Sistergangbang.png|There are not too many men (not counting old priests) in Adepta Sororitas so they have to improvise.
Strip_hammer_commission_for_propertyoflamb_by_hotgum-dagtqp6.jpg|What happens when a Battle Sister, a Repentia, a Hospitaller and a Living Saint decide they need to make a little cash?
R-daemonette 10.jpg |evidence that slaneesh can corrupt sisters of battle
Repentia_1.jpg|Sisters Repentia are supposed to repent. Stop whinging you know we know that you like this more.
FIGHTBYMYSIDE.jpg| An imperial artist's representation of a living saint.
1230051355300.gif|GENESTEALERS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. <s>-But they should-</s> NO THEY SHOULDN'T, YOU SICK [[Slaanesh|PERV]].
Sister reading heretical text by Naga.gif
1233114472588.png|Unlike other settings, in 40k this kind of thing DOESN'T work. Still kinda hot though.
Sororitas strawberries.jpg
Sisters.jpg
1228252747952.jpg|Cum my sisters!
Repentia_2.jpg|Not that they are fanatical about it.
sister_n_slaaneshi.jpg|Sister in ''deep'' trouble.
SistervsLeviathan.jpg|OMNOMNOMNOM
Sororita_by_ipheli-d9mzze4.png|Sister Temeraire at rest
Sororita_2_rest_by_ipheli-damic1m.png|Interesting place for your devotional tattoo...
Saint celestine and the geminae superia by sexual yeti-dat6rd3.png|Sexy Celestine
91a96fb85899c260cb028d6ac34603b6.jpg
ToTheEnd.jpg|To the end...
</gallery>
</center>

==Navigation==
{{Sororitas-Characters}}
{{Sisters-of-Battle}}
{{Imperium}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]
[[category:Imperial]]
[[Category:Matt Ward]]
[[Category:Sisters of Battle]]

Commissar

2020-04-17T21:34:05Z

2607:FB90:34D4:135C:81DD:9B7:52C4:7C2:

[[Image:Comissar.png|frame|{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}]]
{{Awesome}}
''But sir -- ! 
{{BLAM|''*click* '''*BLAM!*''' If you will not serve in combat, then you will serve on the firing line!}} 
''-- but....your....zipper, sir... it's open... 
{{BLAM|''*click* '''*BLAM!*''' Looking at my groin is Slaaneshi worship! <strike>And that's good!</strike> ''*click* '''*BLAM!*''' No! That's HERESY! Who let that damn cultist infiltrate the Commissariat?}} 
{{Topquote|{{BLAM|How many Guardsmen does it take to unload a gun? Lets find out shall we? '''*BLAM!*'''}}| A Commissar with a twitchy finger}}

{{Topquote|I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.|Alexander the Great}}
{{Topquote|Kerls, wollt ihr ewig leben? - Rascals, do you want to live eternally?|Frederick II of Prussia, to his reluctant-to-attack soldiers, battle of Kolin}}
{{Topquote|Last one to die's an Eldar!|A Commissar}}
{{Topquote|You're going back to the front lines and you may get shot and killed, but you're going to fight. If you don't, I'll stand you up against a wall and have a firing squad kill you on purpose. In fact, I ought to shoot you myself, you goddamned whimpering coward.|George S. Patton to a shell-shocked soldier in the hospital, noteable: This didn't work and he was made to apolgize, because he was in World War II, not Warhammer 40K.}}

In the times long before these dark hours of the forty-first millennium, commanders of various Terran military entities and their successors in the colonial states of galactic expansionism remained in relative safety throughout the duration of various conflicts instead of charging the lines of their enemies with vitriol and froth issuing from their mouths in equal rabid measure. The instruments of the will of higher officers on the battlefield were men of inflexible will and intolerable zealotry, men greatly respected and feared by their underlings who inspired entire battalions with selfless example and were willing to sacrifice themselves for the success of their company and their empire. These times, while flawed, <s>were much better, more efficient and, perhaps, possessing greater sanity than this current era of strife.</s> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* HERESY!'''}} Regardless, these times have long passed.

In this current moment of the history of man, war has become a very different thing. Lasguns firing, explosives detonating, great beasts of unimaginable terror charging the trenches without fear, death of all sorts stalking behind every wisp of smoke... and that's just at the front. Behind every line of trembling conscripts is a man, sanctimonious, who fires not upon the hordes of the enemy, but his own troops.

That man is the '''Commissar'''.

They get a cool [[hats|hat]], a [[Nazi]]-esque longcoat, a sword or power fist they seem all too happy to hit the enemy with and their iconic bolt pistol which they use to "boost" the morale of their men, although they sometimes trade it for las or plasma pistols (but seeing your buddy's head explode or melt down does indeed motivate you better than just seeing a laser beam go through it). In reality however they're nothing more than a couple of faggots who overcompensate for their lack of fighting skill by executing their men to look tou{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}. It's a well known fact that most of their morale enhancement (Unless they're [[Commissar Gaunt]], [[Ciaphas Cain]], or [[Commissar Yarrick]].) consists of being scary merciless bastards to rival the enemy merciless bast- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}.

A Commissar that lacks any guardsmen to execute and is in the proximity of any vehicle proceeds to clamber on the said vehicle and threaten the crew into charging the enemy so he can hit the enemy with his close combat weapon. Hilarity ensues depending on the kind of closest vehicle, close combat weapon and closest enemy.

Commissars also have a tendency to get killed suspiciously far from the front lines. Fucking [[Catachan]] heretics... And yet, I cannot help but applaud the Catachans! You've got my support, Jungle Bo{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* HERESY!'''}}

They also have mad shooting skills, some can even execute '''ENTIRE SQUADS OF COWARDS''' in the time it takes to drop their hats. If only they could shoot the enemies that fast, what with their phenomenal accuracy when shooting their own men and all.

<s>'''THEY'RE SONS OF BITCHES!'''</s> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* HERESY!'''}} <s>YOU SEE HE SHOT ME, WHAT AN ASSHOLE!</s> {{BLAM|'''QUIET, HERETIC! *BLAM*'''}} <s>I'm not dead!</s> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!-BLAM!* DOUBLE HERESY! ONLY CHAOS INFESTED HERETICS REFUSE TO DIE FOR THEIR COMMISSARS'''}} <s>I FEEL FINE!</s>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!*'''}} <s>I don't want to go on the cart!</s> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!'''}} <s>[[Necrons|I'll be back!]]</s> [[Avenger Strike Fighter|BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!!]]

They are preceded with Discipline Masters in Great Crusade era.

==On a more serious note==
Beyond their reputation as [[Khârn|team-killing fuckheads]], the presence of Commissars make a lot of sense in the Imperial Guard. Copy-pasted straight from Civil War Soviet real world Commissars (save for the uniform) with a dash of Great War-era "charge the enemy or I'll execute you" British Army officer thrown in, they're political officers with everything that entails.

First of all, they are the warrants of doctrine. They will deal with any disciplinary issue coming up whenever a Guardsman misbehaves. The punishment for cowardice and desertion is death and the Commissar will apply the sentence on the spot, but that is only the tip of the iceberg. As a Guard regiment travels around the Imperium, they will come in contact with other cultures and ideas. Ideas that could potentially be dangerous and morale-ruining (looking at you [[Tau]] propaganda, but not only). Just like their real-world counterparts made sure random Ivan remained true to the ideals of communism, the Imperial Commissar will ensure such heretical ideas are suppressed and the regiment remains loyal to the Imperium and fit for duty. Where to the simple Guardsman this translates into being constantly watched by a terrifying enforcer of discipline that does not hesitate to shoot a deserter on the spot, to the higher echelons of the Guard they're a (frankly necessary) constant reminder they're supposed to do their job as defined by [[High Lords of Terra|the old coots back home]] and not go rogue to seize a planet for their own or carve out their own little kingdom. Yeah, it takes a lot to become a Commissar, tactical and strategic training included: after all, they have to judge the competence of everyone, up to and including Lords Solar.

A second part of their job is to ensure cooperation between elements of the Guard. You see, the Imperium is vast. Extremely vast. And only very loosely unified as a whole. Hence what is considered quite normal on one world would have denizens from another throw a massive bitchfit, if not worse. Imagine the result of stuck-up [[Mordian Iron Guard]]s in the same room as rowdy [[Catachan Jungle Fighters]] unsupervised, you'll get the idea. Commissars make sure discipline is maintained and rules are adhered to (by force of arms if necessary), no matter the origin of the warriors under their care.

The third part is military counseling. Officially, a Commissar is outside the chain of command and can only advise on military matters, the ultimate decision remaining in the hands of the commanding officer. But, as mentioned, they also have the authority to execute any soldier if they conclude they're severely derelict in the prosecution of their duties (this includes high ranking officers, as both [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt|Ibram Gaunt]] and Viktor Hark have demonstrated). This means that Commissars will most of the time stay close to the action and lead by example and that people will listen to what they have to say (and almost always agree outright) for fear of {{BLAM}}. One of the core tenets of the [[Imperial Creed]] is [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|Mankind's right to be the sole owners of the Galaxy]], and the Commissar is always ready to personally prove it to any [[Harlequin|particular]] [[Exodite|breed]] [[Eldar Corsairs|of]] [[Eldar|Space]] [[Dark Eldar|Elf]], [[Ork]], [[Necron]], [[Tyranid|space bug]] or whoever was stupid enough to question Mankind's right to rule the stars with their existence that day. (They're helped by often being the most well-equipped and hardest motherfuckers in the squad.)

Should it come to pass that the leader of a squad or regiment has fallen (one way or another, either due to the enemy or {{BLAM}}), the Commissar will assume command himself. Most Guardsmen dread when this happens for this all too often results in a <strike>pointless last stand for anyone involved</strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* HERESY! No death in the Emperor's name is pointless!'''}}; anyone attempting to retreat being helped to a bolter shell to the back of the head for cowardice. This is often all too true, but the Commissar has no choice: he simply cannot flee or order a retreat as he's well aware this would be the surest way for morale to collapse immediately, especially if he just executed the commanding officer. The inverse is also true, if a commander refuses to retreat when it would serve the emperor and save his currency to do so he can take command then. In many cases the situation has already gone so FUBAR when he assumes command that standing his ground and taking as many enemies of the Emperor with him as he can is the only meaningful choice left to him and the men close to him; [[Fist of the North Star|for they are already dead]]. This said, it is not always a bad thing when it happens. [[awesome|The most famous example]], of course, is [[Commissar Yarrick]] assuming command of the defense of [[Armageddon]]; whose undaunted contest of Hades hive made [[Ghazghkull Thraka]] lose sight of the larger battle because he couldn't see it as anything but a personal challenge and answered in kind, leaving the flanks of his hordes wide open for the Imperial counter-attack.

Last but not least, the Commissars are also trained to look out for xenos or chaotic taint. Not all enemies of the Imperium [[Ork|conveniently charge at the Guard straight on]] but use much more insidious methods. So the Commissars are taught a little bit (just what is needed) about Chaos, [[Genestealer Cult|Genestealers]], Enslavers and all those kind of joyful things that could fuck over their regiment and how to look out for it, with the strict instruction to {{Blam}} anything they find out on sight. Any [[psyker]] in their regiment will be under their constant scrutiny because where Average Joe just has a vague knowledge he should 'abhor the witch', the Commissar know what would happen if he would get [[Daemonhost|possessed]]. Better safe than sorry.

With the above in mind, you easily understand why Commissars are at best tolerated and often hated with a passion by the men under their care. They are hard and pitiless men, but that is a sad necessity in the [[grimdark|just as hard and pitiless 40k universe where the alternative is even worse]]. It should also be noted, that not all Commissars are trigger-happy fucknuts. The intelligent ones that live long lives learn that the right words can often inspire men just as well, if not better, than a bolt to the head. These Commissars learn to tell the difference in situations. After all, the Commissars first job is to inspire the troops, through whichever means are most appropriate. Of course, the trigger-happy fucknuts do tend to spoil the bunch for the good ones.

==Choices of equipment==
*Badass longcoat, badass sash and even more badass hat straight out of Hugo Boss during the Nazi era.
*Mars-Pattern ceramite balls
*Flak armour- Standard guardsman issue Commissar armoured underwear.
*Carapace armor & Refractor field- A better armour and a force field for genre-savvy Lord Commissar.
*Camo-cloak. Serves to hide said badass garments and get less fire from the enemy and guardsmen.
*Special Mask for a Lord that weeps tears of blood near traitors! Oh and scares people. Also gives a force field.

*Saber- Often carried to swing towards enemies while riding a Leman Russ tank so that he could drive closer and hit enemies with his sword.
**[[Chainsword]]- For a sword that's actually useful more often than not.
**[[Power weapon|Power sword]]- For slaying armored enemies and hassle-free decapitations.
**Power fist- For punching through enemy [[METAL_BOXES|Metal Bawkses]].

*[[Laspistol]]- Clean, precise, and efficient working tool of the Commissar that doesn't waste ammunition. Less satisfying to execute people with though. The Imperial Infantryman’s Uplifting Primer recommend it however as the laser beam will cauterize the wound it makes, keeping your uniform spring clean despite your executions.
*Bolt pistol- Produces very satisfying {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}ming sound that raises self-esteem of the worthless ponce hold-{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}, can also get through standard issue Imperial flak armor if you need to blam someone in the chest on the battle field.
*[[Bolter]]- Good for shooting underarmoured enemies and your entire squad if you suspect them all of {{BLAM|HERESY}}.
*[[Plasma|Plasma pistol]]- Good for shooting armoured enemies dead, and executing cowardly tanks. Bad for summary executions since it's poor form for it to over heat when trying to "inspire" your squad.
*Baleful Eye- [[Commissar Yarrick|Lasgun built in the eye socket to kill Orks with a glare]].
*Grenades & bombs.
*Titanium balls.
*Two pairs of balls, (see above)

==Reasonable Commissars==
Reasonable Commissars do not execute those who flee. However, they do carry a potent stun-gun to bring down those who break ranks and save the bolter shells for those who have willingly became servants of Chaos or Xenos. Afterwards, the accused is brought before a military tribunal to judge what the appropriate punishment will be. Reasonably Hard Labor is a common punishment. If a not-so-reasonable Commissar is present the punishment is invariably a {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ing. The bas- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}

Reasonable Commissars can often be found in units operating alongside [[Reasonable Marines]].

Reasonable Commissars understand their duty is to instill courage within the Imperial Guard, not to instill discord and discontent. Thus they lead by example and be the first to die and last to retreat.

Reasonable Commissars only exist because there are Commissars who are *ahem* ''dicks''...such as Commissar Jericho of the 8th Cadian Whiteshield division:

{{topquote|Lil' Timmy: "Commissar? My helmet won't fit. Can you please help me fasten it?" Jericho: "IF YOU CANNOT FASTEN YOUR OWN HELMET, YOU'RE AN INEFFECTIVE SOLDIER! AN INEFFECTIVE SOLDIER IS THE SAME AS A HERETIC IN MY BOOK! SUMMARY EXECUTION FOR YOU!" {{BLAM}} "SO. ANY OF YOU OTHER CHILDREN WANT HELP WITH SOMETHING? WHAT ABOUT YOU, OLIVER? DO YOU STILL WANT MORE PORRIDGE? OH WAIT, YOU'RE DEAD! HAH! GET BACK TO FIGHTING YOU LITTLE PIECES OF SLIME!|From the records of Inquisitor Murtho}}

To some extent, they do actually exist in Warhammer canon, with [[Ciaphas Cain]] ('''HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!!!''') and [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt|Ibram Gaunt]] being the most iconic examples, the fact that they became tremendously famous (OK, Gaunt - not so much) and idolized is implied to have led to many newer Commissars using their less trigger happy and more reasonable methods. Proof that sometimes, you can make a positive difference in Warhammer.

It could be argued that all Commissars are reasonable as most don't hold malicious intent when killing their own, or don't kill their own unless in extreme (Read: Chaos) circumstances, since most of the time shooting your own men can be counterproductive when they're light infantry fleeing from a Super heavy tank. Or if they, you know, have orders to pull back. Obviously they are evil fucks for killing their own men but usually it is done because it has to be done. Rules are rules, heresy is heresy, and Commissars have to show some authority. Not saying that they are necessarily nice guys but no Commissar ever sleeps well at night, except Gaunt, he was pretty fucking cool!

==Female Commissars==
A female Commissar is a rare sight, except by the Vostroyans, otherwise, there is little to no representation in the fluff. This is because women in the [[Schola Progenium]] are far more likely to end up in the [[Adepta Sororitas]] (because the limitations set after [[Goge Vandire|Goge Vandire]] had to go fuck everything up, so the Ecclesiarchy needs all they can get). However, there have been all-female regiments of guardswomen, and they only had female Commissars.

In the recent [[Lemartes]] novel, there is a female Commissar Stromberg attached to the [[Mordian Iron Guard]]--she died like she lived, making an infantry charge against motherfucking [[Skarbrand]] of all things before being ripped into 3 bits with one axe swing, thus buying enough time for the Blood Angels to regroup and therefore get all the glory of banishing the Daemon. Typical.

[[Commissar Raege]] is one of the rare cases of a woman that became a Commissar.

As of late 2018-2019, Games Workshop has put out a series of novels about a female Commissar called Severina Raine. They've also released a really nice model for her (which is horribly overpriced in cash - she costs nearly twice as much as the most expensive Commissar models, and has fairly lame rules). They've also hyped her as a fan favorite despite being a newcomer which reeks of [[Games Workshop#/tg/ Analysis of Games Workshop|corporate greed]], [[SJW|or worse]]; since Raine got a model while long-time fan-favorite [[Ciaphas Cain|Cain]] hasn't even got a model yet (unlike Cain, Gaunt and his Ghosts at least had metal minis made of them years ago).

==Commissar in Squat Regiments==
It was considered a common occurrence for a Commissar to be grouped with a [[Squat]] regiment when they were still relevant in 40k lore. However unlike in the Guard, the Commissars being stationed with the stunties act as advisers rather than a force of morale. That is mainly because to keep an eye on the Squats. Of course a Commissar is forbidden in {{BLAM|Blamming}} a Squat since while he has a Bolt/Laspistol, you basic [[Squat Trooper]] has Plasma Guns, Conversion Beamers and captured [[Eldar]] D-Cannons as their flashlight equivalent. So if the Commissar is a idiotic prick and thinks he/she has near impunity with the Squats he is stationed with, he will soon find his face kissing the barrel of a Squat Melta Gun.

Wish we still have some of our Dorfs back, then we can teach these red-capped bastards on what it is like on the firing li-{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' insulting a Commissar is ''HERESY''! BLAM! BLAM! BLA-}} '''*FFSSSHHHHHOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!* Oi! Ye Boltshell hit Grimmly in the eye! Your payment for harming us is swift ye Red-Capping Boggort!'''

Yeah, the Space Dorfs did not fuck around back in the day. Commissars act not only as advisers but also supporting leaders. But their leadership is often ineffectual when compared to that of [[Squat Warlord]], [[Guildmaster]] or heck, even a [[Living Ancestor]].

==Traitor Commissars==
While it was originally believed to be near impossible for any Commissar to fall to Chaos (at least for those of you following the [https://regimental-standard.com/2017/05/10/your-friend-the-commissar/ The Regimental Standard], and [https://regimental-standard.com/2019/03/13/commissars-an-errata/ The Regimental Standard] never lies, although it may make very minor errors at times), the existence of Traitor Commissars has been confirmed. While it seems they still act as leaders of heretics and traitor Guardsmen, their exact role (and whether or not they execute people for being possible Loyalists) is uncertain, although a good guess is that they'd act like [[Renegade Enforcer|enforcers]] on a wider scale. 
Ciaphas Cain in his memoirs states that Commissars occasionally do join chaos when their regiment joins chaos, but normally if a regiment decides to serve chaos, the Commissar is one of the first people killed by the regiment when it decides to purge loyalists of the Corpse Emperor. In one of the Ciaphas Cain books, a Commissar joins the 13th Black Crusade.

==What not to do around a Commissar==

[[Image:Commissar_NO.jpg|thumb|200px|right|If you have to ask...]]
Unless you have a death wish (since you're drafted into the Guard, we already KNOW you have a death wish) these are the things you should avoid doing around your Commissar unless you want to be shot for a number of reasons:

*Do not retreat until he says so.
*Do not look like you will retreat before he says so.
*Do not think about retreating before he says so.
*Do not think about thinking of retreating before he says so.
*Do not retreat even WHEN he says so.
*Do not refuse to retreat when he says so because you will later be shot for insubordination.
*Do not be incompetent in battle, he'll execute you for being useless.
*Do not move too far away from a Commissar attached to your squad, he might think you are retreating without his command.
*Do not fap to the women that are [[Shlicktau|xenos]], [[Cultist-chan|heretics]], or [[Furry|mutants]] while in the field of battle... or outside.
*Do not fap to [[-4_Str|human women]] either, he'll execute you for dereliction of duty. Also, Slaanesh worship.
*Do not fap '''AT ALL''' Because it is heresy. No! Fap to the Corpse-Empero- wait, I kinda gave that away, didn't- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!!}}
*Do not mock anyone in the upper command structure, social status and organizations. It's the same as treason and treason, kids, is [[HERESY]].
*Do not look at your Commissar with a [[grimdark]] look, he'll assume you want to kill him. Unless you're a Catachan. He doesn't need to see the look to know you want to kill him.
*Do not pretend to listen to your Commissar.
*Do not pretend to pretend to listen to your Commissar.
*GODAMMIT LISTEN TO YOUR COMMIS- {{BLAM|'''*CRACK*'''}} Oops my lasgun misfired. Sorry Commissar... (not really) {{BLAM|'''*Rolls a six on the armor save.''' '''*BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM*''' Not apologizing for shooting your Commissar is heresy!}}
*Do not interrupt him while speaking, he'll execute you for the insubordination.
*Do not change your underwear. Tzeentch worship.
*Do not neglect to change your underwear. Nurgle worship.
*Do not bring up the paradox of changing underwear. Malal worship. (There is no paradox as long as you follow the correct procedure. First remove and burn the tainted garment while reciting the litany of blessed hygiene. Instead of "Changing" your underwear, proceed to replace the purged garments with identical standard pattern guard issued underwater.)
*Do not worship the [[Chaos|ruinous powers]], even if your Commissar is-{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Commissars are loyal servants of the Emperor!}}
*Do not look like you are worshipping the ruinous powers.
*Do not think about worshipping the ruinous powers.
*Do not think about thinking about worshipping the ruinous powers.
*Do not think '''AT ALL''' or he'll think you are thinking about worshiping the ruinous powers.
*Do not find out about the Ruinous Powers. Best you can hope for is being sterilised and mind-wiped.
*Do not fall ill. Nurgle worship.
*Do not fall seriously ill. Serious Nurgle worship.
*Do not think about getting ill. More Nurgle worship.
*Do not think abou- To Hell with this, you are already thinking about getting ill! {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
*Do not watch "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", that is both Tzeentch and Slaanesh worship. (and if the excessive cuteness makes you sick than it's also Nurgle Worship, and if the associations with Chaos or furries makes you overly angry that's Khorne worship.)
*Do not openly question his orders.
*Do not question his orders behind his back either.
*Do not suggest your orders are suicidal.
*Do not suggest that said "''suicidal''" Commissar should join the enemy, if he is able to kill his squad so quickly.
*Do not suggest anything, lest he take it for Heresy.
*Do not mention that the Ministorum Priests are better motivators. {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Insubordination!}}
*Do not mention that the sanctioned Psykers scare you more than him. <s>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Insubordination again!}}</s> {{BLAM|Actually that's acceptable, the mutant witch must be thoroughly abhorred and constantly monitored for [[heresy]].}} '''UNBLAM!''' Commissar did I just see you execute a guardsmen and than bring him back to life? Could that perhaps be a bit of chaos sorcery? *Flashes Inquisitorial Seal* I think we need to have a little chat back aboard my ship. Seize this Commissar on suspicion of [[Heresy]]!
*Do not mention that he is the most useless unit to have in a command squad. {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Insubordination again! Why won't you die!?}} Oh Holy Terra your Unblamming made him a [[perpetual]]. Take this guardsman back to the ship as well and tell the captain to prepare for [[Exterminatus]] this whole page is corrupted.
*Do NOT interrupt him while attempting to execute someone <s>unless you have a pretty good reason</s> as he'll execute you along with the one about to be executed.
*DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES challenge him or her in a western shootout. Why? Because they'll {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} kill you all in LESS than a splitsecond, now get back to the front, or you'll join him.
*DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES give your Commissar a new bolt pistol for his birthday. Just think of how fast he can {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} your squad if he goes Akimbo...
*Do not ask a Commissar for a bullet in the head. He ''will'' have you flogged for cowardice.
*Do not ask a Commissar for a flogging. He '''''WILL''''' have you shot in the spine for being a Slaaneshi Cultist. Not that that's a bad thing, being a Sla-{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}}
*Do not, in any way, shape, or form, give a zealous Commissar an Assault Cannon. You will have no unit.
*Do not, under any circumstances, give a zealous Commissar a Deathstrike Missile Launcher. You ''will'' have no army.
*Do not give a zealous Commissar a spacecraft. You will have [[Exterminatus|lost a planet]].
*Do not give a Commissar a cookie, or he'll think you are trying to poison him. You chaos worshipping freak.
*Do not be bald, then you are a Genestealer.
*Do not be balding, then you are becoming a Genestealer.
*Do not think about balding, then you are thinking about becoming a Genestealer.
*Do not think about thinking about balding, you don't wanna become a Genestealer.
*Do not add to this list, or else he will have you shot for insubordination. He- Yes, Sir!... No, sir... Sir? {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}}
*<strike>THIS LIST NEEDS MORE CHAOS!</strike>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}}!!
*Do not use an axe as a last-ditch weapon. Khornate behaviour. Only acceptable if having said "For the Emperor!" and dying soon afterwards for the Imperium.
*Do not eat your rations in a particularly vigorous manner. Khorne worship.
*Any alteration of the standard uniform shall not be tolerated. Tzeentch worship.
*Growing facial hair in the pres- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}. More Tzeentch worship.
*Do not cut yourself while shaving your facial hair. More Khorne worship.
*Surviving a life threatening injury at the hands of the enemy. Serious Tzeentch worship.
*Do not bring prostitutes to the base while your unit is on leave. Slaanesh worship (and just plain improper behavior).
*Waking up lat- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}. Cowardice.
*Do not deface or lose your Imperial Infantrymen's Uplifting Primer. (even though any veteran guardsman will tell you most of pages are complete bullsh- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}} )
*Calling your self a member of the "Astra Militarum" {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}} we are and always have been the Imperial Guard: Hammer of the Emperor!
*Do not lose your issued Lasgun. Unless it's loss is unavoidable in{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} {{BLAM|A proper Guardsman would never lose his Lasgun.}}
*Do not remind him that technically Commissars are outside the chain of command and cannot order you. So next time a fraking com- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''. Cursing Commissars is HERESY!!!}}
*Do not try to take the easy way out with suicide. Malal worship. {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY! MALAL DOES NOT EXIST!}}
*Do not kill heretics. Malal worship. {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY! Once again, MALAL DOES NOT EXIST!}}
*Do not steal from a Commissar.
*Do not make fun of the Emperor.
*Do not act in a way that convinces your Commissar that you could be a [[Genestealer]]. After all, it could be any one of us. It could be you, it could be me, it could even b{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} Whoa, whoa! {{BLAM|What? It was ''obvious''! He's the Genestealer! Watch, he'll sprout gribbly bits any second now! ... Any... Second now... See? Gribbly bits! No, wait, that's intestines.}} So, we still have a problem. {{BLAM|Big problem. Alright, who's ready to go find the Genestealer?}} Right behind you. {{BLAM|'''*BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!*''' BY THE EMPEROR, SEND THE ULTRAMARINES, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!}}
* Do not gift the Commissar a bolter. This will allow him to blam even more {{BLAM|'''*BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM*''' Your unit has been executed for Cowardice!}} <s>Sir they were the artill-</s> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''' Disagreeing with the Commissar is heresy as well!}}
*Do not gift the Commissar a Missile launcher. He will use it on the tanks. {{BLAM| '''Any tank that does not drive into sward swiping distance is clearly a traitor tank! *FWOOSH!*}}
*Do not gift the Commissar a heavy bolter. Seriously, just do--{{BLAM|'''*THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP* I will use whatever weapon I want to dammit!'''}} Ha ha you missed. That's what happens when you move with a heavy weapon idi- {{BLAM| '''*SLASH* Fight phase bitch! Eat power sword!'''}}
* Whatever else you do, Never Ever EVER steal a Commissar's hat.

==What to do around a Commissar==
[[File:Oh Lawd.png|150px|right|thumb|Nothing escapes the vigilant eye of a Commissar (except everything)]]
*Worship the Emperor
*Talk fairly loudly about how the chaos gods suck. (Except for slaanesh who is just bad damn thing dosen't need to suck any more. Besides, saying Slaanesh sucks could be considered worship, resulting in a {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!ing*'''}}).
*Make sure all your gear is organized, cleaned, maintained, and free of non-standard issue modifications.
*Do go into [[rage]] mo- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Getting angry is Khorne worship! (Raging over the filthy xenos is acceptable though.)}}
*Praise him on a job well done when circumstances are right- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Kissing ass is borderline Slaneesh worship!}}
*Shine his laspistol when he isn't using it. {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Handling your superior officer's weapons is grand treason!}}
*Give him a blowjo- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' SLAANESHI HERETIC!}}
*Charge towards Khorne Berserkers even if you don't want to. {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Suicidal charges are borderline Khorne worship. Neglecting to charge however is disobeying orders. So either way you get '''*BLAM!*'''ed.}}
*Go to battle even if you're feeling sic- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Spreading sickness to your comrades is serious Nurgle worship!}}
*Compliment his marksmanship skills. {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT KISSING ASS!!?}} Pff, missed m- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Easily enough to fix.}}
*Let him know in advance when you're having a sick day so he won't execute you for dereliction of du- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' NURGLE WORSHIPER!}}
*Have your uplifting primer on your person. Failure to present it on request will result in {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}.
*Bring him [[An Eldar's Ears|a captive Eldar]] {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' XENOS LOVING FILTH!!}} ([[Love Can Bloom|"I'll be happy to take that captive off your hands Commissar, the agents of the Assasinorum are experienced in such matters."]])
*When the rest of your squad looks like they are gonna fall back, step away from the Commissar's general direction as he might choose to execute you to make an example for the rest of the men.
*When the rest of your squad looks like they are gonna fall back, step towards the Commissar's general direction as he might choose to execute you to make an example for the rest of the men.
*When you are about to do something that can only be described as batshit insane and a Commissar's around suggest it to him, if you survive said suicide mission he'll probably favor you a bit, which probably means that he MIGHT actually think about who's he shooting at.
*If you're the guy at the wheel of a transport, DRIVE HIM CLOSER! HE WANTS TO HIT THE ENEMIES OF THE EMPRAH WITH HIS SWORD!
*Pee on Dead Orks
*Prior to giving him wargear, make sure that you ''haven't'' cleaned it, most Commissars prefer the bloodstained wargear look. {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' failure to clean blood off of your weapons or uniform is an offence against the Departmento Munitorum policies!}}
*Make sure you're the only man left in the squad other than the Commissar when retreating, the Commissar rulebook says that if the squad he is attached to only has one man left, he isn't allowed to make his face blow up because he'd end up looking stupid and it's a waste of ammo since there is nobody to inspi {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' The Commissar does what he wants!}}
*If the Commissar looks pissed read (or at least pretend to read) an Imperial Creed book or something, he can't shoot you because you're reading Imperial Creed stu-- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''' Now you are no longer reading it. Situation resolved.}}
*Bring an RPG or other Big Fucking Gun in case he tries to blam you. Make sure you say "you've been bla- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}} (pssst! Make sure you say "You've been BLAMMED!" ''after'' you kill the Commissar and know there aren't more on the battlefield. [[Just As Planned|WHO'S LAUGHING NOW COMMISSARS!?]]){{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}}
*If your Commissar has a bolt pistol make sure there that when he starts {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}ing that there are 10 people closer to the Commissar then you. That way after he's done blaming the rest of your platoon he might think you 'suitably inspired' so as to not blam you. {{BLAM|'''*CLICK*'''}} See it works! {{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''' RELOADING IS ONLY A TEMPORARY INCONVENIENCE TO THE AGENTS OF THE IMPERIUM!}}
*Be born on [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|Catachan]] those over dressed foreigners don't have the balls to shoot you. {{BLAM|HERESY!! '''*KABOOM*'''}} "Why no sarge, I have no idea why the Commissar decided to do a patrol, through a mine field, in the dead of night.
*Be a member of the Karauvan Conservators. Vance Motherfucking Stubbs loves his motherfucking men. Also because no Commissar wants to {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} people who can {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} a Living Saint to death with flashlights.
*Instead of ''DYING'', try to acquire the Enemy's head. Minor kudos for a Grunt, some kudos for an NCO Equivalent, and perhaps at least a bit of respect from the Commissar him/herself for an enemy Commander, or said Commander's Lieutenants. Possible points if you shout out: ''"DEATH UNTO THE ENEMIES OF MA-..."'' <strike>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''' Borderline Khorne-Worship!}}</strike> ('''ALL''' foes of mankind must be cleansed. Punishing such actions is heretical in of itself Commissar.) '''Unblam''' {{BLAM|Re-'''*BLAM*''' RESURRECTING THE DEAD IS SERIOUS HERESY!!}}
'''Inquisitorial Decree:''' Commissars are henceforth forbidden from '''Unblamming'''. The practice of resurrecting the dead is chaos sorcery. Loyal imperial citizens who have been accidentally {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''ed}} can take solace in the fact that their souls will spend eternity basking in the Emperor's divine light.

==Notable Commissars==
*[[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt]] (<s>Who?</s>) {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}} ([[Derp|The one, who killed a Daemon Prince with 1 hit from a simple Close Combat Weapon, in the era when DP was Eternal Warrior.]])
*[[Commissar Yarrick]] Da orkiest humie eva!!
*Commissar [[Ciaphas Cain]] '''HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!!!!!''' Secretly believes himself to be a coward. The truth of that is up for debate.
*Commissar [[Severina Raine]]: the main character of the short story ''''Execution''' and the novel '''Honor Bound''' by Rachel Harrison, Severina is the rare female Commissar who has managed to get her own (limited-run and therefore overpriced) figure and rules!
*Commissar-General Delane Oktar: Ibram Gaunt's mentor and substitute father-figure. He should have died better.
*[[Commissar Fuklaw]] is tired of putting up with your heretical bullshit.
*[[Commissar Dan]]: A /tg/-created character from the days of yore (along with Fuklaw and the [[Angry Marines]]) that got somewhat canon-ised by Fantasy Flight Games. Likes to order charges from atop his [[Basilisk Artillery Gun|Basilisk]] ''Fluffy''. According to FFG, his full name is Daniel Sterne and he met his end while attempting to ram a [[Helbrute]] with ''Fluffy'' when the damn thing came too close.
*[[Commissar Koulick Krieg]] attached to the famed storm trooper regiment known as the Redemption Corps and an agent for the Adeptus Ministorum. Never officially trained as a Commissar, but field promoted from storm trooper on behalf of the Ecclesiarchy to infiltrate the "heretical" regiment that was the free thinking Redemption Corps, eventually turning on his masters and becoming a full part of the Corps instead.
*[[Heretical Love|Commissar Max]] the Lovemachine of Yagis V. (It should be noted that he was actually a guardsman who picked up Commissar regalia and weapons.)
*[[K59|Commissar K59]]
*[[Holt]] {{BLAM|'''*SLAP*''' Commissar Holt!!!}}
*[[Commissar Raege]]
*<strike>[[Kharn|Kharn]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRVcdLPqoHg| The Commissar]</strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Major Khorne worship!}}
*[[Colonel Greiss]] Formerly a Commissar; became a conventional officer through necessity.
* [[Commissar Lord Bernn|Commissar LORD Bernn]] (always put LORD in ALL CAPS -bold is optional-, not doing so is Heresy.) Known for making entire armies completely invincible as long as he has people to execute and beating Mega-Daemon Princes, Hive Tyrants, Land Raider Redeemers, Battlewagons, Deranged Khornate Chaos Champions (if you're so far off your rocker that other Khornates think you're crazy, you may be a wee bit nutters), and Eldar wraithlords to death with a power fist. Also notable for being able to one-shot any infantry, from lowly Ork boyz to TERMINATORS with his laspistol. He needs no words to show he's a badass.
*'''Commissar "Colonel" Schaeffer''' He had his arm shot off by a plasma gun '''AND GREW IT BACK''', had his spine rebuilt after being crushed by a tank and made a full recovery, had his eyes replaced after his other ones were destroyed and has survived being thrown into suicide mission after suicide mission for over 300 years '''LIKE A BOSS''', he gets down and dirty and is usually seen in front of his men in the battle rather than behind them. He's still brutal as fuck to deserters though. *why doesn't he have his own pag- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
* '''Commissar Jaes "Jellyfish" Quallen'''. Fragile, stuttering, clumsy, prone to disease, about as intimidating as a wet kitten. His enlistment was a cruel wager between two of his rich aunts to see if he would survive. He barely made his commission as Commissar, and he was discarded to the Catachan 217th infantry to get rid of him. And yet he's still alive today. What's more, he leads his men from the very front, utterly fearless when the jagged teeth of Chaos spawn ('''OH GOD NOOOOOOAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH!!! GRRAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!''' {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Mercy killing; continue.}}) are inches from his face, humming to himself in the middle of the shitstorm that is every battlefield. Atypical for a Catachan company, his men are quite loyal to him, well-liked for leading by example instead of inspiring fear behind the lines ... although they do tease him off-duty by playing keepaway with his hat.
*'''Commissar Viktor Hark''' - The Commissar for the Tanith First (and Only). Pretty bad ass dude with a cybernetic arm to beat heretics and a plasma pistol to melt faces with. Pretty reasonable for a Commissar, preferring {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} only when it can have the most effect on a units morale, which in some cases means {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}ming the guy in charge.
*'''Commissar Flint''' was abruptly reassigned to the reconstituted 77th Vostroyan Firstborn Dragoons, whose first mission was to quell a bloody rebel uprising at a penal facility on Furia Penitens. Leading a picked team of escaped convicts and Firstborn, Flint infiltrated the vast creepy facility, wrecking Stalkers, slaying giant mutants with his power sword and slaughtering literal rebel scum by the dozens, all while keeping his execution-count impressively low and displaying many feats of epic badassery. Not bad for a Commissar who gets his own book who isn't Gaunt or Cain.
*'''Commissar Fenstrum Holt''': A supporting character in the ongoing '''Eagle Ordinary''' [http://www.eagleordinary.com/chapters/77723/planetfall/]webcomic. NOT to be confused with (though he constantly is, even by his own junior, Commissar Talon Gunner) that ''other'' Holt *SLAP* [[Commissar Holt]]. '''This''' Holt is an elderly badass with a creepy bionic eye who manages to beat up trigger-happy aristocratic officers despite being only 5'6. Although introduced in the comic's first page engaging in the Commissariat's trademark pastime {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*-ming'''}} Guardsmen, his character is so well-written and drawn he might just be the fan favorite. Might just be the only adult in the whole comic as well.
*'''Commissar Daridh Ahl Karif''' : Commissar of the Fifth Company, 68th Vostroyan Regiment, one of the main character in the ''Rebel Winter'' novel. One of the few Reasonable Commissars in 40k. An unnaturally caring, nice, level-headed Commissar but also sternly ruthless when the situation demands it. Got posted down to a company-level commission in a pretty much worthless campaign for rejecting a Lord General's son homosexual love (no, seriously), leading to the rejected dude committing suicide. Currently serves as part of an Inquisitorial retinue.

==Commissar Mortality==
Commissars, at least those attached to an Imperial guard regiment, do not exactly have a high life expectancy. Next to the many horrible fates that await your average "balls of steel" Guardsman in the [[grimdark]] WH40K universe, the Commissars have some additional aggravating factors leading to a quick demise.

Some reasons:
* A Commissar's uniform is very different from those he is working with, add to that he is shouting things at people and possibly {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ming them, probably without fire being returned at him, and is probably carrying different weapons than those around him. It doesn't take a genius to figure out he is an obvious High-Value Target which any sniper worth the name would take note of.
* Aforementioned uniform offers little to no head protection, head protection is for cowards and cowards get {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-med. (However, a Commissar's lack of headgear can get him {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-med by the enemy).(subverted for death korps as they have helmets under their hats)
* {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ming cowards, and especially {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ming non-cowards, often has a side effect of *accidentally* getting shot, repeatedly, sometimes even far from the front lines. This fate is particularly common for those attached to [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|Catachan]] units.
* Even when not getting *accidentally* shot/dropped in a pit/run over/... by his own troops, few Guardsmen will risk their lives to save a Commissar should he get into trouble with the enemy.
* Some Commissars both lead by example and expect their men to perform acts of suicidal courage, resulting in performing collective suicide in the name of the Emprah.
* Lots of Commissars like big flashy bolt pistols. Bolt pistols, [[Dakka|being roight flashy bitz of dakka]], naturally attract orks like sugar water attracts flies, and unlike laspistols eventually run out of bolts.
* According to their most recent models some unusually ballsy Commissars carry plasma pistols, and as such possess a statistical lifespan of six shots at maximum. {{BLAM|'''*ZAP*''' Simply re-roll the ones with the cadia doctrine. anyone who doesn't spend cp to reroll said ones is a filty heretic!}}

It should be noted that regimental standards vary: 
- Kriegers will leave a Commissar a wreck because they have to keep convincing the men that while it's laudable to die for the Emperor you have to do so while trying to kill His enemies. It's like herding sheep: if you keep your eye off of one for too long it'll be gone. Except this sheep wears a gas mask, digs a trench, bombards the enemy with mortar fire, then goes over the top and gets gunned down without achieving anything. Oh, and there's millions more like it. 
- Serving with the Tallarn regiments that there will be sand EVERYWHERE. There's so much fucking sand everywhere. I mean, how did it even get there? Not to mention that you'll want to wear one of their turbans to protect your head against the heat, but you can't wear your cap alongside one of those things. And many a Commissar has suffered from dehydration following being told exactly what most of the regiment's water is distilled from. 
- The Mordians employ the strictest of discipline and expect a Commissar to lead by example. When they inevitably mess up the Commissar is subjected to physical disciplinary actions, up to and including being flogged or even executed by the platoon. 
- The Vostroyans are ABSOLUTE MADMEN and expect the Commissar to lead by examples of balls-out insanity and win the day, but they have trouble following the orders of a man who has no imposing facial hair. If a Commissar's lucky he'll be approached by one of the regiment's senior female officers who offers him one of her glue-on mustaches to spare him the indignity. 
- Scintillans show utter disdain for the Commissar because of his poor breeding and low social standing (word has it the Commissar is an orphan, for the Emperor's sake!) and will have their authority undermined by even the lowest of privates and when trouble arises a senior officer steps in and takes the offending soldier away, but punishment following this is rare. 
- Praetorians are fine enough soldiers, but their culture is very strange and requires unusual degrees of politeness from both officers and the rank-and-file. Not following these labyrinthian rules will be sternly frowned upon. And their officers will never, ever duck even when taking direct fire. 
- Drookians openly hate the Commissar's guts for being an outsider and a nancy for wearing pants instead of a kilt, but a clever Commissar will figure out that if he manages to convince the platoon that the enemy has slighted the Drookians' clan honor all he needs to do is step aside and watch the men fuck the enemy up. 
- Brontians solve most of their internal struggles with knife fights, and the unfortunate Commissar who steps in to try and stop such a duel will quickly catch one, two, three or thirteen knives to the chest. The Brontians don't like them anyway due to their lack of scars. 
- Attilans laugh their asses of when the Commissar tries to ride a horse and keep falling off, and the platoon just rides ahead of him leaving the unfortunate Commissar in the dust. 
- The Steel Legions are almost entirely mechanized, so a Commissar has to hang out with the same squad all the time. And he better be able to keep up when redeploying: miss the Chimera and it ain't coming back for you. Plus, nobody respects you because you're not Yarrick. 
- With the Valhallans you constantly have to convince the commanders that yes, while it would result in a technical victory if you sacrifice a million men for that small amount of ground, it'd be better to have them attack in a different way to win slower but with fewer losses. And they'll hate you for this. 
- The Chem Dogs will hate the Commissar because people like him put them there, and will try to rob him blind without being found out. 
- Elysian, Harakoni and Phantine Skyborne regiments have a high Commissar mortality rate because they're not very well trained in the use of grav-chutes. And with those things, you'll make a mistake only once. Drop regiments in general have high mortality, so successfully landing is not much of an achievement either. 
- With the Phantine Air Corps it's hard to say. On the one hand they are a guard regiment and not a navy unit, so Commissars come standard. What they do is trickier to say since they can't fly and even on bombers it's hard to justify attaching a spare person just to shoot one of the valuable air crew if they start to turn around, which if our own history of strategic bombing holds true, does not really happen, plus it would be a stupid waste to get a bomber formation shot down because unlike the men they are actually worth something to the Munitorum. Commissars therefore likely just sit around not doing much other then paper work and watching the pilots like a hawk when ever they are on the ground, thus proving that even in the 41st millennium the chair force meme still exists. {{BLAM|Then we shall destroy cowardly aircraft! '''*Fwoosh*'''}} 
- Kanak Skull Takers will hate the Commissar because he prevents them from taking skulls, and they do so anyway. If he becomes forceful about it they'll take a skull with a fancy hat. 
- Naval Commissars are the first targets when a mutiny occurs/the ship gets boarded. Otherwise, you aren't likely to survive a voidship becoming combat ineffective if not straight up losing life support/about half the bulkheads/the reactor/the engines/the magazine and Emperor forbid the Warp Drive or the Gellar Field Generator.

==Quotes==

* "Fear me...'''''but follow!'''''"
* "You can give the Emperor your loyalty, or I can take it from your corpse."
* "You DARE shoot at me?...{{BLAM|'''AT ME?!'''}}
* "What I cannot crush with words, I shall crush with the tanks of the Imperial Guard."
* "Fear ensures loyalty! Where do you need me?"
* "Trooper, the enemy ''may'' kill you, but if you try to run I '''will''' kill you!"
* {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
*"It is our duty to muster the Guardsmen's courage and loyalty under fire and it is our duty to - '''GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!'''"{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
*"WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO DIE?! 'CAUSE I SURE AS HELL DIDN'T!"
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrrCY7dgaqs Drive me closer, I want to hit them with my sword!]
* "Follow my example or I will MAKE YOU ONE!"
* A compilation of some -if not all- of DowII Commissar quotes can be found: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isLz_8ppLig here].
* <s>Heil Hitler!</s> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* HERESY!!!'''}} Heil Emperor!
** Wouldn't it be "Heil der Gott-Kaiser"? {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* HERESY!!!''' It is "Heil dem Gott-Imperator!" Good job on the hyphen, though.}}
*** Also wasn't the Emperor Hitler back in the 1930s? {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
**** The Corp...errr...'''The God-Emperor''' was never Hitler! Hitler had social skills!{{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''' Nice try heretic.}}
*****{{BLAM|'''*KA-BOOM*''' Talking about Hitler is heresy! He was a piece of shit!}}

* "If you will not serve in combat, ''then you will serve '''on the firing line!'''''" {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
* "SHUT UP ZATHRAS"
*"GLORY TO THE FIRST MAN TO DIE!"
*"DO NOT FAIL UPON MY RETURN!"
How many Guardsmen were Executed writing this article?

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Severina-Raine.jpg|Isn't she a beauty? Canon too!
Image:Commisarmoti.jpg|The real reason why Guardsmen do not revolt en masse.
Image:Closer.jpg|Commissars never let practicality get in the way of their awesomeness.
Image:Commissar Surfing.jpg|Again, practicality is never a hindrance.
Image:Comissar_Promotions.jpg|Imperial Guard Promotion policy, you either get promoted or {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-med, no exceptions.
Image:1230024061774.png|Reasonable Commissars know that summary execution is not always needed to motivate anyone.
Image:Thenewcommissar.jpg|[[Kharn]] during his traitor Commissar days with the Red Rivers traitor guardsmen.
Image:Romantic_Commissar.jpg|Commissars can be romantic. It's just that they are too busy {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ming Guardsmen.
Image:Penguin_Commisar.jpg|Do not approach the Commissar under any circumstances, no matter how cute he may be.
Image:Komissar_by_kriegsmachine14.jpg|Why so serious? Let's put a smile on that face...
Image:Commissarpoke.jpg|Don't let this one's slow demeanor make you too confident.
Image:1207335821953.jpg|[[Commissar Dan]] on the blaze of glory run
Image:Commissar-Fuck_Yeah.jpg|Imperial Guard, FUCK YEAH!
Image:Commissar_Badass.jpg|[[Ciaphas Cain|HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!]]
Image:Fixedhat2.jpg|The Commissar is here to ensure your loyalty.
Image:CommissarCos.jpg|{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
Image:Commissar Hansen.jpg|Guardian of all imperial [[loli|lolis]].
Image:Emote-commissar.gif
</gallery></center>
{{Promotions}}
<center><gallery>
Image:Comissar-by-Chink-1.jpg|Chink loev Commissar
Image:Comissar-by-Chink-2.jpg|[[Rule 63]] spares no one.
Image:Yarrick_by_Chink_1.jpg|[[Commissar Yarrick]] by Chink
Image:Yarrick_by_Chink_2.jpg
Image:Feb.jpg|Commissar from the ill-fated /tg/ calendar project
Image:Atra concept.jpg|Much Sexier Version
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|One of these is not like the others.
Image:1226746378911.jpg|Squad morale restored.
Image:powerfists_commissar.jpg|If you're wondering how she's "coping" with those things, don't ask us, for we have as good an idea as you do.
</gallery></center>
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[[Category:Commissars]]