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Fallout

2022-11-05T00:58:48Z

2607:FB90:3F23:DDD0:2930:A99C:FAA8:335C: /* Super Mutants */

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{{Topquote|War. War never changes.|Ron Perlman}}
{{Topquote|War has changed.|[[Metal Gear|Solid Snake]], being a contrarian as always.}}

'''Fallout''' is a post-post-apocalyptic video game series, with a boardgame released in 2017 (see below), that takes place in America about a century or two in the future where America had been bombed so much that it has been left as a irradiated, [[Grimdark|smelly and depressing]] wasteland that happens to have <u>'''high as fuck raiders'''</u> come up to you and attempt to kill you with a flaming chainsaw or a laser weapon.

Despite the Grimdark setting, the player's actions can lead to a [[Noblebright|bright and optimistic future]], with a darkly humorous streak and a series-long theme of rebuilding. The freedom of approach to how you interact with the world set before you is one of the main selling points of the series, so you can leave the place worse than it was before (like [[Night Lords|joining a bunch of pseudo-Darwinian sodomite slavers]] or [[That Guy|poisoning the water supply to eradicate all the <s>civilians</s>]] [[Abhuman|muties]] unlucky enough to be born outside a vault [including you!]), or join the people trying to genuinely make it a better place. Kinda like a game run by a DM who believes that "actions have consequences," anything from the wrong dialogue option to murderhoboing your way to Las Vegas will leave a mark on the Wasteland at large. The games have been criticized for becoming somewhat unfocused in both writing and gameplay, with some saying that this was magnified by Bethesda, while others say it's always been like that.
[[Skub|And that's ''all'' we'll say on that for now.]]
You could say it’s set in the metaphorical fallout of the literal fallout.
==Plot and Setting==
For those wanting an in-depth analysis of the Fallout storyline, the "Fallout Storyteller" Youtube series has a large number of (mostly accurate) episodes dealing with the subject and can be viewed [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvqm_pPD-aQ&list=PL7pGJQV-jlzD17YNNbt103xp0PkkUCoPU here].

Basically, while technology continued to advance past the 50-60's, the culture did not, which is one of the biggest sources of hilarity in the game. Imagine a lady in a pink diner dress, high heels and curly, blonde hair run up to you with a nuke-launcher on the back and try to sell some drugs to you that could enhance you to the level of a Space Marine for hours while jingoistic jazz music blares from radios that were built in the 2040's. [[Derp|All because some dipshit forgot to invent semiconductors and global idea exchanges slowed]], the ham-fisted, pin-up U.S post-WW2 culture endures for a century.

From there, imagine the future as depicted in 1950s-era sci-fi media, then picture the US and China nuking the shit out of each other. Between that, the release of a bio-weapon that mutates living things which was itself mutated, and the general inability of anyone to get civilization's shit together for more than ten minutes at a time, the world remains for the most part a radioactive shithole even after over 200 years since the bombs dropped. It's not the nukes that killed humanity, but it's [[Skub|inability to agree on the most obvious shit]].

Not helping matters (at least in the States) is that the pre-war underground-bunker living Vault Dwellers, intended as the best hope for repopulating the world, are either woefully unprepared for this hellscape or are just as messed up as everyone else. See, the Vault's were nominally only partly intended as fallout shelters. Their creators often added unusual conditions as experiments (nominally for testing conditions for space colonisation but occasionally for shits and giggles) ranging from quirky (like only giving glove puppets as entertainment) or downright fucking messed up (like gradually dosing the vault dwellers with hallucinogens and rage amplifiers over time). Some vaults have remained isolated till the present day, whilst others have opened themselves or been forced into over the years. Naturally, most games have you starting as a Vault Dweller, although usually from a vault with fairly benign (or at least less directly hostile, see Vault 101 where the experiment was to keep people locked up until Civil War broke out) test conditions.

Sapient races include Humans, Zetans (little green man aliens), Ghouls, Super Mutants, Nightkin Super Mutants, a breed of talking Deathclaw, Robots, Swampfolk, and Dwarves. Yes, dwarves, tiny little buff people changed on a genetic level by the bomb to have inherent dwarfism, who tend to be hairy and good with technology. Only appeared in Fallout 1 and 2, though.

==Sliding Scale of Seriousness==
One of the [[skub]]bier elements of Fallout is this: just how much of the setting is intended to be goofy fun, and how much is intended to be [[grimdark]]? On the one hand, there's a ''lot'' of messed up shit in Fallout - for example, Robobrains, a robot that looks like a [[Brain in a Jar]] on a mechanical cylinder with tank treads and cybernetic tentacles, were largely made up of political prisoners whose living brains were extracted and jammed in crude battle-droids to be used as expendable cannon fodder. On the other hand, you can encounter all manner of silly pop culture references, up to and including nearly crossing paths with [[Doctor Who]].

==Notable People, Mutants, and Factions==

===Tribals and Wastelanders===

Anyone who ''didn't'' grow up in a bunker (Vault, Military, Science-y, or otherwise). These shmucks have the burden of being born in a radioactive wasteland where ''everything'' is radioactive/mutagenic, and because time stopped during Boomer-era America, all the things you can find Pre-War contains Lead, Asbestos, and yup, more Nuclear Material. It's no wonder that the Enclave, the remnants of America's Pre-War government and its loyal troops, considers everyone in the Wasteland to be a [[Abhuman|sub-human mutant]] (but in reality though, the real reason why the Enclave hates everyone is because FEV, the virus that created Super Mutants, is already present in most humans simply because of how polluted and fucked up the Wasteland is.)

Tribals on the other hand are humans who grew up in cultures that are just pastiches of Native American cultures. They tend to be very superstitious and avoid most Pre-War sites and artifacts (except guns, because AMERICA [and also because everything in the Wasteland can and will kill the unarmed]). The PC in FO2 is a Tribal, and you meet quite a few tribes in most games...except FO4 (this is going to be a running theme)

===Super Mutants===

[[Orks|7-foot tall asexual humanoids built entirely of muscle that go to battle armed with the]] [[Choppa|biggest, heaviest choppers]] [[Dakka|or the shootiest, heaviest guns]] (and the [[Kommando|sneaky ones are Purple]]). [[Greenskin|Most of them are also Green]], except those in Washington D.C. because [[Derp|Reasons]]. They are stereotyped as big dumb cannibals, and you'd be right for the most part, [[This Guy|except for the ones that aren't]] and those from the "First Generation" of Super Mutants created by the [[God-Emperor of Man|Master]] (super mutated Psyker) himself. Each game has their own version of Super Mutants created by whatever mad scientist/evil organization/whatever-macguffin is present at the time, but they are all created due to experimentation with the FEV (Forced Evolutionary Virus) that was supposed to turn humans into [[Adeptus Custodes|what peak performance looks like]], but ended up creating the pseudo-orcs we know today.
<span style='color:green;font-size:115%'><s>THAT'S CUZ GREEN IS DA BEST!</s></span> <span style='color:darkgreen;font-size:116%'>NOW ''<sup>*wheeze*</sup>'' IS THE TIME OF THE SUPER MUTANT</span>

All that being said, you really do feel for the super mutants. All Super Mutants are the unwilling result of humans being mutated, with pure Vault dwellers and other [[Primaris Marine|untouched-by-mutation virgins]] producing the [[Fabius_Bile#The_Great_Work|best and most successful results]]. We know that it's a painful process, and it's a rarity for the succeeding generations to have some sense of connection to their former life, so those that do and actually want to do good are such a rarity that [[grimdark|you can call it a margin of error]]. In the West Coast, all of them are either survivors of the Master's Army (intelligent) or second generations caused by haphazard conversions of wastelanders (dumb). The [[Boyz|Dumb-Dumbs]] follow the [[Nob|smart ones]], for better ([[Vulkan|Marcus is pretty much the coolest guy you'll ever meet]]) or worse (everyone else).

The sneaky ones are the most dangerous, because they're all first generation and also suffering from [[Srs|intense and serious mental illness]] due to the stealth-radiation frying their brains and worsening the dementia they have from being so old, which is how you get [[Awesome|Grannies chopping down Deathclaws with helicopter blades while being egged on by her personal demon]] but also split personality Mr. Slave/[[murderhobo]].

===Ghouls===

Most people die when they take too much rads. You won the genetic lottery by becoming a living zombie, your body now a cancer that's nourished by radiation. On the plus side, you're immortal, but your mind will eventually decay (also made quicker by radiation). People will also treat you like absolute shit, and [[Brotherhood of Steel|some people may even shoot you on sight]].

===NCR===

Emerging out of the efforts of the Vault Dweller from FO1, the New California Republic was built with the trappings of pre-War California. They adhere to the principles of democracy and equality, though in reality, due to the difficulty of holding a country together in the wasteland, influence and power is bought by cattlefucking ranchers, unscrupulous arms dealers, and [[Rogue Traders|caravan companies]]. That, and their recent expansionist policies have stretched much of their military thin, and have also angered many communities who weren't keen on being annexed and taxed by the Republic. Though they're waaaaaay better than most of the other factions in the Wasteland, it's kind of a hard sell joining the faction that's so bad at its job, [[GRIMDARK|its Chief Ranger would rather die and have all his boys go down with him in a blaze of glory]] than let them be used as pawns in NCR power games.

Having said all of this, even the most jaded and disheartened citizens and soldiers of the NCR still hold at least a grudging respect for the principles they live under, or realize how bad all the alternative groups are, which is often the main selling point to support the Republic, more so than just the fact that they are a "democracy". In fact, the NCR's greatest flaws also feed into their greatest strength. The [[Imperium of Man|NCR may be an overstretched, disorganized and corrupt expansionist government]], but despite that it's still [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|full of everyday decent people on the ground trying to make some difference with what they got.]]

===Enclave===
Introduced in FO2, the Enclave claim to be the rightful rulers and inheritors of post-apocalyptic America. Y'see, back before the bombs dropped, there was a conspiracy within the US government made up of douchebags who decided "fuck the people, ''our'' survival is top priority!" Made up of all manner of high-ranking assholes, including presidents, members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, prize-winning scientists, wealthy industrialists, members of the military, influential politicians and other powerful men and women, they constructed their own secret sea-based survival retreat. When the bombs dropped, these assholes abandoned the people of America and fled to their secret retreat, content to let the rest of the world die and planning on repopulating the wasteland afterwards. When they finally deemed the mainland safe to return to, they weren't happy to find out that other people had survived, so they decided the best thing to do was to wipe out everyone who wasn't descended from their ranks (no matter how inbred said ranks might have been).

Basically, the Enclave represented the "Asshole Surviving Elite" archetype from post-apocalyptic fiction; they preserved themselves at the expense of the average American, they maintained and built upon the highest pre-War tech so they are ''the'' ultimate , and they regard all others outside of their ranks as fit only to be enslaved or exterminated.

The ultimate antagonist of FO2, they returned in FO3 as a surviving offshoot, where here they began to pick up a following amongst fans, largely because the whole "genocidal old world elitist bastards" angle was downplayed. This continued into FONV. They don't show up in FO4, but a separate branch of the Enclave does make an appearance in the lore in FO76, where it turns out that one absolute fucking '''maniac''' of an Enclave member not only got into the POTUS' private survival bunker, but secretly sabotaged the escape effort so that anyone with a higher rank than him would not get to the bunker under Whitesprings, meaning he would be officially left as the POTUS by virtue of being the highest ranked governmental official present and alive. He promptly used this power to flood Appalachia with mutants and killer robots as part of a crazy plan to gain access to remaining nuclear stockpiles to continue bombing China... which, as far as anyone knew, had ''already'' been nuked to oblivion...

===[[Brotherhood of Steel]]===
[[Adeptus Mechanicus|Tech-hoarding soldiers]] [[Black Templar|LARPing]] as [[Bretonnia|Arthurian Knights]]. Seriously.

Most notable for their near-exclusive use of Power Armor (until other, less toaster-obsessed factions came into play) and their fetish for energy weapons. The Brotherhood’s originated from US Army defectors who turned away from the atrocities and corruption of the pre- and post-war US Government under the guidance of High Elder Roger Maxson, who also wrote the [[Codex Astartes|Codex]] that continues to guide them to this day.

The Brotherhood’s main mission is to safeguard the “forbidden” technology that led to the Great War, though they consider everything from Laser weapons to vital pre-War energy infrastructure as “forbidden” tech that cannot be trusted in the hands of “wasteland savages,” so they [[Template:American|liberate]] flashlights from the people who just happen to have it. To be fair to the Brotherhood, [[Dark Age of Technology|pre-War America was experimenting with some dangerous super-weapon level tech at the time, and were not above using their own citizens as guinea pigs]], as evidenced by the creation of Super Mutants and the entire Vault-Tec project. None of that excuses the fact that their paranoia and elitism leads them to confiscate vital technology that could be used to actually better the lives of the Wastelanders around them. Still, because each chapter is independent, some are [[Salamanders (Chapter)|cool]] like the Midwest and the East under Lyons, though most in the west aren't.

===Caesar's Legion===
The Big Bad of FNV, tribals larping as Rome, led by a man who can call himself [[God-Emperor|Caesar]] because most people are too illiterate to know what Rome is. They conquered a whole bunch of desert tribes (57 to be exact), but the truth is that they're really just a horde with a few Roman terms and ideas sprinkled in (mostly the nasty ones). They think the only way to save the world is to conquer everyone and impose a reactionary warlike totalitarian luddite misogynist anti-mutant homophobic puritanical militaristic dictatorship on everyone forever. If you can see the problem with this, congratulations on having at basic understanding of history, human behavior and morality. Pretty much everyone in the game says that the Legion will disintegrate when Caesar dies, except for Caesar himself, because he's a narcissistic fuck, which is unironically the only reason why the Legion is so cohesive. Considering his two likeliest successors are a blunt bloodthirsty brute and a two faced sadistic torturer, Caesar pretty much is the only figure in the Legion with the intellect to hold together this army of sycophantic slaves. They literally believe him to be the biggest gigachad ever, even though it's really because they're just [[/pol/|illiterate]].

===Followers of the Apocalypse===
Dont let the badass deathmetal name fool you, these guys are actually a bunch of nerds. If the Brotherhood is a bunch of tech hoarding soldiers, the Followers are their polar opposite, a group of [[SJW|pacifist Librarians]] who seek to aid and educate the people of the Wastes. They have played an important role in the history West Coast and were the people responsible for educating the NCR, but due to the NCR's expansionism being at odds with the Followers goal of not repeating the same mistakes of the past (and encouraging self-determination over imperialism), the two factions have officially cut all ties with each other. Even though they're pacifists, don't expect them to just sit down and take it: they just leave the fighting to people who're good at it. Also, you have to give them props for surviving this long in the Wasteland, these guys got their start in the ruins of the LA Public Library back when Fallout was just an Anarchic Mad Max simulator, and not a 50s music radio station, so they not only survived the lawless gang warfare of the LA Boneyard pre-NCR, but played a role in beating the Master and establishing the Wasteland's only true democracy. Also, Caesar was raised a Follower, though he was never a really good one.

===New Vegas===
The very two-sided metropolis of the Mojave and subdivided into two main factions, the Families under the leadership of Robert House, an obscenely wealthy and ambitious Industrialist from the Pre-War years who survived the Great War thanks to his advanced life support systems and the various factions of outer Vegas, of whom the biggest is Freeside under the leadership of The King and the group of gangers of the same name, a rag-tag assortment of folks all cosplaying as Elvis Prestley. Mr. House holds an iron first over the wealth and technology of the Las Vegas Strip that he with the help of his advanced Robot Army built to be an unconquerable fortress. His aims for the Mojave is to "civilize" it, by which he means using the major power advantage his robot army gives him to enforce a free-trade zone independent from the rest of the Wastelanders. Being a true Ayn-Rand-style libertarian anarcho-capitalist with a serious god-complex, he usually views any kind of moral objection one might have to his egotistical dreams as a lack of vision. This brings with it its own buttload of problems, mainly that the people he "civilized" (The Families) self-admittedly didn't really agree to it in the first place and by the time of New Vegas tried to undermine Houses authority for very understandable reasons. The Families themselves, which House dubs his employees, are the former members of three wastelander tribes House basically forced at gunpoint to populate the Las Vegas strip some years prior are the Omertas, who were Slavers and Pimps who just continued their business under House, the White Glove Society, a bunch of cannibals whose tendencies and cultural habits turned out to be really hard to overcome, and the Chairmen, that were a band of marauding, drug-fueled raiders. The Kings that control most of outer Vegas (called Freeside) are a gang of Elvis Presley cosplayers whose boss once found a building that housed a school for Elvis Presley impersonators in the Rubble of Vegas and assumed that, in order to be so famous that other people wanted to be you, you must have been some sort of divine being and he subsequently assumed the style, music and even accent of the real deal for himself and his gang in a truly bizarre cargo cult. The Kings are both opposed to Mr. House, whom they view as the same sort of oppressive slaver as Caesar and the NCR, who step on their turf under Houses protection, much to their chagrin.

===Boston Factions===
Of the four factions vying for control over Boston, only two can be considered as having a large impact on the Wasteland outside of the Commonwealth, and one of those (The BOS) isn't even from Massachusetts.

'''The Institute''' was formed by the scientists of MIT, their base fully underground, and the only way in either being teleportation, or through their toilets. Not only did they manage to ride out the Apocalypse, but were able to ''thrive'', their tech and quality of life being way beyond what anyone else in the Wasteland can even imagine. [[Tau|Everything inside is clean, shiny, and plastic.]] Their greatest creation is Synths, which are basically bladerunner-style synthetic life. Starting out as nothing more than mechanical robots before being perfected with full-on synthetic flesh completely indistinguishable from "real humans", they obviously did the amoral science thing and gave them sentience and free will that could instantly be overided with a few words. [[Men of Iron|Clearly, nothing can go wrong.]]

These guys might look like squeaky-clean Futurists, but they're exactly like the pre-War scientist of Vault-Tec, but no longer bound by government/corporate agendas. Just like Vault-Tec, they do their experiment on civilians, which they do by replacing Wastelanders with Synths so they can <s>watch people fuck</s> test their theories and make sure no one can mount an effective resistance against them. Of course, because Synths are sentient and do most of the actual work, some of the more advanced ones manage to escape, and over time, have worked with a group of sympathizers to create...

'''The Railroad'''. Named after the Underground railroad that helped free slaves, these guys do the same, but with Synths. <s> absolutely no word on whether or not they free real human slaves, like the ones you found in the Capital Wasteland, even though they have agents there, too, and a burgeoning anti-slavery faction</s> Whenever a Synth manages to break free from their programming and realizes they're pretty much people, they seek out the Railroad for help. The Railroad operates all over the East Coast, helping synths get away from <s>Blade Runners</s> [[Original character, do not steal|Coursers]], wiping their memories so they can get a fresh start, before spiriting them away to new lives. These guys have a pretty robust intelligence network with freed synths and even a Pre-War DeepBlue-copy, but are otherwise just regular Wastelanders and Sympathizers. That being said, most of the people of the Commonwealth dislike them because it's really hard to trust Synths whose personalities and wills can be overriden at any point and turned against you.

'''The Minutemen''' - Named after the historic militia, these guys organize themselves the exact same way, down to the fucking muskets (technically it's a [[Wat|crank-operated]] single-shot laser, which makes 0 sense because it still uses <s>batteries</s> microfusion cells, and quite literally any weapon will be better. Apparently it was once planned to not need energy cells, but that feature was scrapped somewhere during production). Because these guys organize themselves with tactics straight out the Colonial-era, it was pretty easy for them to be wiped out by a gang of sadistic mercenary types called the Gunners that ''do organize themselves like a proper army''. These guys suck so bad, you are literally made their General within the game's first act, and you just kinda sorta stay in the position, even if you help anyone else, including Raiders (but at that point, the one guy will refuse to help you until you leave them, but you're still their General and besides him they'll still help you). Of course, just like the NCR, these guys are probably the ''best'' option for the Commonwealth because the members that really stuck around are the types that genuinely believe in their mission of making the Wasteland a better place, and unlike the Brotherhood, they understand that by wiping the Institute they can also free the Synths from their control, so there's no need to hunt them down.

==The Games==
===Fallout 1===
[[File:Fallout_1.png|thumb|right|300px|I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. I'm all out of gum.]]
Eighty four years after the bombs fell, a resident of Vault 13 in California is chosen to leave the Vault to find a replacement unit for the Vault's damaged water chip, which controls the water recycling system. This Vault Dweller, in his search for his prize, discovers that the world is (sort of) safe to return to, as many others had. He also discovers a major threat to the nascent human rebuilding: the Master's Army. This army of Super Mutants is the tool of the mutant known as The Master, who intends to turn the entire human race into Super Mutants to unite mankind into one whole and bring an end to conflict and war (except he's being semi-despotic about it). The Vault Dweller manages to stop the Master, though it is not known if he talked him down or blew him up, and return to the Vault with his prize only to be exiled for being "contaminated" by contact with the outside world. Many other inhabitants of Vault 13 choose to leave with him, traveling north and founding the village of Arroyo. Also the FMV sequence you get if you join the master is creepy, so don't do it.

===Fallout 2===
[[File:Fallout_2.png|left|thumb|300px|You get to visit New Reno, the [[/d/|scummiest of all pits]] in Fallout games. ]]
The Vault Dweller's grandchild comes of age, passes a series of trials, and is then selected to find a sacred artifact from Vault 13: a Garden of Eden Creation Kit, which will rebuild the wasteland into a paradise. It should be obvious by now that the population made of Vault 13 settlers managed to degenerate into neolithic barbarism in one generation. Anyway, this Chosen One, in his search for his prize, discovers that the United States government is (sort of) still around and had abducted the people of Vault 13. He later learns that they are called the Enclave and had also abducted his tribe in his absence when he found Vault 13 himself. So the Chosen One travels to the Enclave's base of operations, a Poseidon Energy oil rig, to free the captives, find the GECK, fight one [[Space Marines|big boi]] and destroy the Enclave, helping (or breaking) towns along the way. Despite being regarded as the best of the classic Fallout games it was rushed to meet a Christmas deadline with large sections of the game cut for time. These have since been re-added and bug fixed through modding and is considered required to get the full and proper Fallout 2 experience.

===Fallout Tactics===
[[File:Fallout_tactics.jpg|right|thumb|300px|"Fuck em"...*pukes*]]
In '''Fallout Tactics''', the Midwestern Brotherhood of Steel began inducting tribes into its ranks in small numbers while defending the Wasteland against threats such as an army of renegade robots. The main group of the Brotherhood is separated from this group, which takes over Vault 0 and continues pushing eastwards. Although the bulk of Fallout Tactics is non-canon (though some, like the Mid-West Brotherhood being semi-canon), the basic story (and some elements such as airships and Nuka Cherry) remained canon.

===Fallout: Brotherhood Of Steel===
[[File:FBOS.jpg|thumb|left|300px|Unintentionally meta.]]
Three Initiates to the Brotherhood, one strangely enough being a Ghoul despite how much the Brotherhood hates both outsiders and mutants, are sent to go find missing Paladins despite how illogical it is to send three fresh recruits after several high ranking veterans in power armor. They wound up being aided by the Vault Dweller, who was still alive at the time, and take out another Super Mutant army. At one point you wipe out the entire population of a town of Ghouls because they don't accept humans but you need to get to the other side and apparently can't be arsed to just walk around it, despite the fact you may in fact be playing as a Ghoul with absolutely no humans for miles who's entire backstory was humans wiped out his town...

Completely non-canon, and unlike Fallout Tactics everyone is happy about that.

===Fallout 3===
[[File:Fallout_3.jpg|right|thumb|300px|"Scenic overlook". Gotta love them 4th wall breaches!]]
The series turns into a Skyrim/Oblivion 3D RPG with guns - Many cheered as Fallout was revived from the precipice of obscurity, and others were filled with [[RAGE]] over an assortment of things, like Power Armor nerfed to the equal of an Imperial Guard flak armor. After all... Rage. Rage never changes

Two hundred years after the Great War, a civil war breaks out in Vault 101 after its head physician, <s>Liam Neeson</s> James, leaves. His child then escapes the chaos in search of him. This Lone Wanderer, in his search for his father, discovers that he was not born in Vault 101 as he had been led to believe, but in a beached aircraft carrier named Rivet City. His father had been working on "Project Purity" to purge the radiation from the Potomac River to provide clean water for the world. Following his father's trail, the Lone Wanderer eventually comes into conflict with the resurgent Enclave which wants to take the project for itself. Canonically the player fights the Enclave off, mind-fucks the President and helps purify the water of the Capital Wasteland with the Brotherhood of Steel. They also die due to radiation but gets better in the DLC, and chase the Enclave to a mobile base crawler and finally bomb them from orbit (or Brotherhood citadel if you are feeling like an asshole).

The first DLC is called "Operation Anchorage", where a group of BoS Outcasts are trying to gain access to a cache of pre-war tech in a bunker. Unfortunately for them, the only way to gain access to said tech is by playing a vr milsim centered around the liberation of Anchorage, and it only runs on the Pip-Boy operating system. Fortunately for you, ''you'' have one of those, so naturally the Outcasts are <s>desperate</s> willing to split the loot with you just this once. What follows is basically the atompunk version of those military first-person shooters everyone likes to make fun of as you fight the (virtual) Chinese army in the name of 'Murica!

The second DLC is "The Pitt" where you are recruited to help liberate some slaves. Your destination: the ruins of Pittsburgh, now the Pitt, which, while not hit directly during the war, was heavily irradiated by the nearby river, causing the locals to degenerate into feral cannibals. So all in all, an overall improvement. That said, the infrastructure is still intact, so some raiders have set up shop at the metal refineries with their slaves to do all the work for them. Speaking of slaves, the only way into the Pitt is to pretend to be one, so you're gonna be working from the bottom up to infiltrate their society. Once you reach the guy in charge, however, you'll quickly realize that things aren't so black-and-white as they seem, and you'll have to make a choice that ''isn't'' tracked by the karma meter!

The third DLC is "Broken Steel". If you have Fallout 3, ''get this''. It adds a post-game campaign that allows you to keep playing for as long as you want (something New Vegas sorely lacks). As for the story, it's changed so that now when the time comes to activate Project Purity, not only will you not die instantly if you do it yourself, you can instead have certain radiation-immune companions do it for you. The narrator will still call you a coward, but better to be a coward than a fool. Either way you go about it, you wake up two weeks later to either a wasteland where the availability of fresh water has opened up new opportunities for the locals, or, if you used the modified FEV, a wasteland where everyone (including you) is slowly being killed by the contaminated water. Regardless, you proceed to help the Brotherhood of Steel mop up the remaining Enclave forces.

The fourth DLC is "Point Lookout", which introduces a whole new map set in the eponymous Maryland location. Unlike most other places, no bombs were dropped on Point Lookout; a little radiation may have drifted in on the tides, but that's small-time compared to places like California or the Capital Wasteland. That said, the region is infested with mutant hillbillies that will try to kill you. Things to do here include settling a grudge between a ghoul and a brain in a jar, going on a hallucinogenic spirit journey, tracing the path of a Chinese spy, oh, and [[H.P. Lovecraft|finding a pseudo-Necronomicon that said mutated inbreds now keep]], nothing major.

The fifth and final expansion is ''Mothership Zeta'', which sees you getting abducted by those aliens whose wrecks you kept finding throughout the series. You then fight your way to the bridge of the ship you're on and take over with the aid of cryogenically frozen fellow captives from throughout history, including: a pre-war soldier, a cowboy, and a Sengoku-era samurai. There's not much else to say about this one.

There are a good deal of cool moments and set peices. That said, there are also some rather derpy ones as well for the main story. In praticular after you get out of the Vault, you come across a town built around an old un-exploded but still active atomic bomb. You are given the choice of either permanently defusing the nuke or arming it so a rich asshole can blow the town up for the lulz. In short, your options in regards to Megaton are "do the right thing" or "Be a mass murdering asshole for no reason".

===Fallout: New Vegas===
[[File:Fallout_new_vegas.jpg|left|thumb|300px|The cold, cold road to [[Slaanesh|hookers, drugs, street violence and rock 'n roll]].]]
The game takes place in the Mojave Desert, where the city of Las Vegas was able to largely survive the nuclear holocaust of the Great War, thanks to it's anti-missile defensive system destroying/disabling most of the nukes that fell onto the region, making it one of the wealthiest cities in post-nuke America and a double-sided symbol of the old world people have only heard about it pre-war literature. In 2281, the New California Republic (Which grew from surviving villages and towns of Fallout 1) and Caesar's Legion (a horde of [[Edgy]] tribals cosplaying as Roman Legionaries led by a twisted warlord with a twisted survival of the fittest mindset) are staring at each other across the Colorado River, having fought over Hoover Dam once before. Against this backdrop, a courier of the Mojave Express is shot for their charge, a poker chip made of platinum, and buried in a shallow grave. They're dug out by a Securitron robot and taken to Dr. Mitchell of Goodsprings, who saves his life. This Courier, in their search for their prize, travels around the Mojave Wasteland in pursuit of their attempted murderer, Benny, the head of the Chairmen, who runs the Tops casino in New Vegas ran by the mysterious Mr. House. Eventually, all three major players in the Mojave (the NCR, the Legion, and Mr. House) want the Courier to do their dirty work to gain control over the Mojave, but there is a fourth option: Benny's plan was to use a subverted Securitron named Yes Man to take over House's network and use the platinum chip (actually a data disc containing a firmware upgrade for the Securitrons) to secure control over New Vegas. Whatever the Courier choses, the Second Battle of Hoover Dam is inevitable and only one faction can win.

Notably, [[Your Dudes|you do not start out as a Vault Dweller, have an established origin story, or set out on a grand quest (at least initially)]]. You're just a poor schmuck in the right place at the wrong time, thrown into the foreground of a territorial dispute, where your most notable feat in your postal career in the Mojave so far is that you survived a gunshot to the head and not much else. No government conspiracies, hordes of monsters, or world changing macguffins. That's the main story anyway. The DLC takes a slightly more personal approach, being a bunch of genre setpieces that show the effect of other people being in the right place at the wrong time (or wrong place at the right time), and showing the Courier's past isn't quite as boring as might first appear.

[[File:Fallout_sierra_madre.jpg|right|thumb|300px|Jokes aside, this is one of the most atmospheric settings in all of games out there.]]

The first DLC is called "Dead Money", where a mysterious radio broadcast becons you to the Sierra Madre Casino, a luxurious vacation spot for the rich, built near the end of the Great War. It never officially opened as the bombs fell, so you can only assume the buttload of treasures stored within. Things go not-as-planned, and you end up assisting a rogue BoS Elder named Elijah break into the Sierra Made with the help of 3 kooky sidekicks. All of you are motivated by greed, one way or another, and so only time will tell whether all 5 of you will overcome it and survive, or be consumed by it and buried along with the ghosts of the Sierra Madre.

The second DLC is "Honest Hearts" and takes place in the bluffs of Zion National Park. You are contracted by the Happy Trails Caravan company to assist them in making their way to New Canaan, a conservative Christian settlement in the middle of Utah. Things go not-as-planned once again, and you end up ambushed by a couple of savage tribals named the "White Legs", who paint their legs white in homage to their home: Salt Lake City, and find out that New Canaan was destroyed by them. Eventually you meet a group of friendly tribals led by the Legion's infamous former "Malpais Legate": Joshua Graham, who after surviving his fiery execution from Caesar, returned to New Canaan and devoted his life into becoming a fiery executor of God's will. God cannot be expected to do all the work for you however, so you either end up assisting him in driving the White Legs out of Zion and help the tribes reclaim their ancestral home (plus the added bonus of preventing White Leg bandit attacks elsewhere), or assist another New Canaan survivor name Daniel in evacuating the tribals out of Zion and into a place where the White Legs cannot reach them (as the White Legs have shit survival skills from being so reliant on raiding, they can't forage or farm). Or fuck all that noise and just murder everyone in visual range, until you find a map out of there back to the Mojave, the world's your oyster.

The third DLC is "Old World Blues", which takes place in an isolated and shielded scientific complex in the middle of the mountains called the Big Mountain, or "Big MT" for short. The Big MT housed the most brilliant pre-war scientific minds of the world, being tasked with creating solutions for mankind's various problems. Eventually, the bombs fell and this most likely have thrown a wrench into their plans (since mankind is, you know, mostly dead). While over 200 years have passed, you discover that the original core science team is still working, transplanting their brains into robotic hover platforms to continue their insane research projects. You're abducted by them and turned into a "Lobotomite", where they extracted your brain, spine, and heart, then replaced them with robotic parts, but things do not go as planned as unlike other lobotomites: you still retained your free will (thanks in-part to the headshot that nearly killed you in the beginning). You now have to find your old body parts, deal with the Big MT science team, and escape this futuristic loony bin. Notably the DLC has a light-hearted tone, further exploring the retro-futuristic themes of the Fallout universe, the cartoon insanity of the Big MT scientists that can only be described as prodigal geniuses acting like petulant 10 year-olds, whilst still being grimdark enough to reference the horrors of unchecked and poorly-planned scientific advancement (for example, you know those deadly cazador mutant wasps? They're escapees from the Big MT. And the scientists deny they ever escaped). It also features the best side-villian of the franchise: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6kp4zBF-Rc an evil toaster].

The fourth and last DLC is the "Lonesome Road", a showdown between you and Ulysses, the mysterious courier who pushed the delivery of the Platinum Chip to you, and has been mentioned by several characters around the wasteland. Here, you brave "The Divide", a stretch to road between the military towns of Hopeville and Ashton, who were sundered by nukes that accidentally exploded underground as they were towns that housed the personnel manning the nearby nuclear ICBM silos in the area, turning it into an irradiated, stormy ruin. Its populated by dangerous enemies, most notably "Marked Men", cannibalistic, ghoulified remnants of the NCR and Legion forces around the divide before it was destroyed. They've been driven completely mad by the experience (basically, they were skinned alive by the windstorm generated by the nukes THEN kept alive and immortal by the resulting radiation, turning their existence into a perpetual hell of pain and misery), have forgotten their old faction rivalries: and have united in their hatred against The Divide and the people they perceived to have abandoned them to their fate (who happen to be anyone who isn't a fellow Marked Man). They aren't completely bonkers like feral ghouls though, they still know how to operate sophisticated weaponry of varying types to obliterate you from any distance. At the end of this perilous journey, Ulysses promises to answer all your questions, and to change the future of the Mojave.

Whilst releasing as a buggy janky hot mess, the game was lauded as a return to the style and atmosphere of the first two games, albeit with decent additions to 3's rpg light formula and taking notes from the most popular mods released for 3, like survival mods, damage thresholds (zero damage if struck below DT value), first person aiming, weapon addons, etc. Although it is still horrifically unstable and unkind to packrats, it is considered by some to be the best game in the series when paired with bug fix and stability mods.

===Fallout 4===
[[File:Fallout_4.png|left|thumb|300px|Colors in a Fallout game? What a time to be alive.]]
In Boston at the zero hour of the war, new parents are admitted to Vault 111 and placed in cryogenic suspension, under the impression that they were only to be decontaminated. Turns out much like most Vault-Tec vaults, they were secretly part of an experiment, where in this case it was originally to see the physical and mental effects of long-term cryo-storage.

One of them is murdered, their infant child Shaun stolen, and the other refrozen. When the cryo systems fail, the only survivor of Vault 111 heads to the surface in pursuit of the man who ruined a family. This Sole Survivor, in pursuit of his (or her) prize - I mean child, discovers that two hundred years have passed. As they travel, they encounter the last surviving member of the Minutemen-- a Militia that tries to protect local wastelanders from attacks by raiders, supermutants, and other nasties-- and go to Diamond City (built on the ruins of Fenway Park) following a lead. They find people paranoid about an organization called "The Institute" replacing anybody they know with near-perfect replicas called synths, and further investigation points to the Institute having abducted Shaun. They can work with the Minutemen, the Brotherhood of Steel, or the synth emancipation group known as the Railroad to fight the Institute, or choose to join it instead. Just like the other games, Super Mutants once again make an appearance although this version was created by the Institute and have notable differences, mainly being less mutated while also being more psychotic, being more industrious by being capable of doing shit for themselves instead of relying exclusively on slaves while also being too violent to gather into large groups or pursue goals beyond being warlords.
Automatron was the first DLC (that had a story) where the player takes on on The Mechanist, someone dressing up as a character of the same name from the in-universe comic series The Silver Shroud. Said impersonator has gathered an army of robots to harass the Commonwealth just like their namesake.
Far Harbor followed Automatron, consisting of a Synth-centric journey to the marshes up north where they must play peacemaker between the Synths, wastelanders, and the crazy radiation-worshiping cultists called the Church of the Children of Atom from Fallout 3. Generally held up as the pinnacle in the game.
Finally, Nuka-World begins with the player finding a functional train leading them to the Nuka Cola theme park, where they are immediately trapped in a gauntlet maze/arena designed by the Raiders to ensure that the only folk who live there are worthy. The player must decide whether to take control of the Raiders and let them loose on the Commonwealth or retake Nuka-World for the law-abiding wastelanders (loyal to whichever faction you sided with in the main game obviously). While this DLC has the most bearing on the actual game itself and has more plot complexity than the single quest and mild amusement of Automatron, its seen as a disappointment in terms of what it could have been.

Additional content, some of which has merit as part of the looser canon (as in the "Bawls exists in-universe" kind) was released via the mod service maintained in-game by Bethesda. However, due to the fact you can't use it alongside mods from anywhere else and still keep achievements going and many cost money for no reason, most people never encountered them and less want to get into the merit of them as part of the continuity. While future plots may have callbacks to some, it ultimately will mean as much as the mods that added Settlements to New Vegas did to 4.

It was also the game that got power armor right after the letdown of 3 and NV by turning you into a nearly unstoppable tank but limiting it's usage with power cores that were scarce at the beginning of the game - seriously, you get a full suit of Power Armour within the first hour of the game. Another limiter is that unlike previous games, a powered armor suit is now comprised of several parts (helmet, torso, arms, and leg armor) that are mounted into a exoskeleton chassis, instead of being treated as regular old armor. This means that you can't just walk through tons of gunfire with minimal consequence, as now individual components of the armor break as they take damage, compromising the armor's ability to protect and assist you as it gradually gets torn down to scrap. It can be repaired, but you need a repair station and tons of resources you need to scavenge from the ruins, repair costs going up (from humble steel to expensive aluminum and fiber-optics) as the armor is upgraded. On the plus side you can modify and paint your armor components to crazy models from jump packs to blood cleansers preventing chem addiction, from leg shock calibrators to carry more stuff to arm servos for punching.

The game is also pretty [[Skub|skubtastic]] (this entry was originally FAR longer); while generally liked for the crafting mechanics, graphics, music, certain parts of the setting and gunplay, many dislike it for its linearity and lack of RPG-like choices, calling it a "Loot-And-Shooter" set in a Fallout setting, with little Fallout mechanics - And that's all we have to say about that.

===Fallout 76===
No, you didn't miss Fallout 5 to 75. Its the newest addition to the franchise, announced during E3 2018. It'll probably have as <strike>many expansions</strike> much DLC though...

'''Fallout 76''' takes a different approach to the game and goes for a multiplayer-focused experience built on player-player driven interaction, instead of player-NPCs (literally announcing it as being populated with real people). It also continues settlements building, except this time populated only by you and whoever stumbles across your little campsite, like in Fallout 4.

Bethesda promised the best of visuals with all-new programming, no issues with the shift to a server-based game, advanced storytelling techniques, and a rewarding social experience. What was delivered either came with problems or wasn’t delivered at all.
The mere move of shifting from a single-player narrative to a pure multiplayer game already had the fanbase [[skub|engaging in "friendly debates" with each other]], but given the goodwill Bethesda had earned over its history (whatever the skub in the above entries may indicate, it's primarily nitpicks or a fairly small minority of grognards and contrarians who had major gripes in the past) many were willing to give it a chance, which of course worsened the backlash when the naysayers were proven right. For the record, [[EA|unlike SOME companies]], Bethesda openly stated that the game only exists to keep fan interest in Fallout going until Fallout 5, and that they're okay with fans of traditional Fallout games not getting into it the same way they don't mind fans of TES games not getting into The Elder Scrolls: Online until whatever comes after Skyrim gets made.

On November 14, 2018 the game was released and was universally reviled by all but the staunchest of fans (as well as those suffering from the sunk cost fallacy, a principle that leads people who have invested financially or emotionally into something to defend it tribally to prevent confronting a sense of having lost). To summarize, the problems were:

* A MASSIVE amount of the game is just reused assets from Fallout 4. While much of the forest environment is lush and gorgeous and people from the region in real life have praised the faithfulness to the inspiration, the actual towns and caves are mostly just recycled copy/paste work. Guess where almost every quest takes you though? Hint: it isn’t hiking the great outdoors except as a way to get from point A to point B.
* Social interaction is awful. Besides the usual “people are assholes”, the game had no push-to-talk function on launch, so using a mic means all music and dialogue is lost to mouth breathing, dog barking, mic static-ing, and one character having multiple people voices in the background. So for PvE co-op say so long to immersion!
* Did we mention asset re-use? Because for a “new” game most of the “new” stuff either is made up of textures or animation that’s already been seen. The worst offenders are of course the two that the main plot revolve around; Scorched are just new textures on standard human models using Raider or Ghoul animations, Scorchbeasts are just Skyrim dragons turned into bats.
* Did we mention co-op sucked? Experience and loot are split, and everything was easy. It literally made everything take longer, and sped up nothing, to play with another person. So a game made to play multiplayer where you are passively discouraged from working together.
* PvP consists of one person attacking another as basically a gloveslap invitation to a duel, and the other player can accept by hitting them back, at which point you can now damage each other. What do you lose by doing this? Time, ammo, weapon durability, the minor inconvenience of having to respawn. What do you win? A very small amount of caps based on the other player’s current win streak. It takes a fair amount of kills to surpass 200 caps bounty, which might replace your crappy pea-shooter that broke during your duels. If you don’t accept, prepare to be harassed until you log off. So everything to do with interacting with other players sucks, and you should avoid it...in a game where everything else is subordinate to, and exists solely to facilitate, interacting with other players.
* Base building could be fun. But when you log off your base goes with you, and if you log back when someone else has set up in your location (because you can’t build anywhere as was advertised, only specific spots) then you get reset. You can save a blueprint of your setup and apply it elsewhere, but unless the topography is the same (read: flat) in a game set in the Appalachian Mountains then it won’t work. Your base cannot be very big, basically a small tower or shack, and other players can come in and wreck it (small size means there’s very few options for defense) so you’ll probably just build crafting benches, a bed, then troll folks who still thought it was a functional part of the game. In a game thematically about rebuilding, settling down is punished. To say nothing of being suddenly nuked.
* Usual Bethesda bugs. Corpse physics being comedic, stuff stuck in stuff, quest-necessary things never spawning or falling into the ground forever, sunlight shining through hills and buildings, things popping in and out of resolution or visibility at all as the game only adds detail to things closer to you as it struggles to maintain performance, AI never really doing anything so fearsome beasts stand still like statues being frisked while you fill them full of lead (insert joke about police here), and so on. But now you can’t find a patch fix or restart the game, now the server has to reset. Which happens often, and constant random disconnects which delete quest progression far more so. A YouTuber did go through the trouble of compiling just the ones he found in a video - said video is 3 hours long.
* All NPCs (aside from a Super Mutant who is literally only a merchant with no dialogue tree) are robots who are mostly unaware the human race is gone. They want you to do mundane quests, from simple fetchquests to hunting for drop items to...picking up trash. Some robots grant you advancement in factions (factions with no NPCs, because everyone is dead) despite the some of the factions shouldn’t even exist, at least in the state they are, yet. While sometimes charming and not new for a Fallout game, this is almost all of the quest content of the game.
* Having a very small storage inventory, getting stuck in power armor, poor loot tables for bosses, being unable to respecialize meaning your leveling choices are permanent, and HUGE first week patches that not only didn’t fix problems but actually made some worse.
Bethesda released a statement outlining planned fixes for some of the above, but that came on the tail of mass attempts to return the game being rejected and the inability to return the $200 special edition once opened...which is when you’d find out they skimped out out on the promised canvas bags (so looking like something found in-universe), giving cheap nylon ones instead.

Generally speaking all of the issues were easy to predict, given all Bethesda games for The Elder Scrolls and Fallout run on the same game engine which is '''ancient''' by gaming standards. This isn’t a problem since most engines can be easily made to work with some dedication and knowhow, but Bethesda never really does it; they bring them to working states for consoles, and let modders fix it themselves for PC (usually starting with the “Unofficial (game) Mod” released within weeks of launch, sometimes mere days) while the remaining problems can all be fixes with a reload from a save when something goes haywire. For an idea of the problems with 76, know that launching nukes at the map is a feature of the game yet when one group set off three nukes at the same time it [[What|crashed their entire server]]).

However, as of 2021 a number of improvements, content updates and design backtracking such as adding actual NPCs has improved the gaming experience. While there are still occasional bugs and crashes, the game can overall be considered somewhere between meh and fine, depending on what kind of players you encounter.

So, enough with the /v/ talk, onto the fluff then.

There's a main questline, albeit one that plays basically the same as EVERY OTHER QUEST IN THE GAME, meaning either follow the instructions of a robot or listen to the messages from someone dead, the same kind of stuff that was always a minor quest in other Fallouts. Because of that as well as the fact that all of it is basically just the tutorial for everything else, and thanks to the lack of NPC interaction or complexity (read: any choices or conversation from the player at all) which generally is heaviest in the main plotline, its largely dismissed by the fanbase as not really being a main quest or story. All the lore in Fallout 76 comes from what before was just a type of minor quest, like delves into dungeons and one-man assaults on towns full of hostiles where you can gather the story from looking around at the skeletons, reading notes, and listening to audio records on holotapes. The bulk of these just serve either to explain monsters you fight or give minor stories to the destroyed towns, with the main quest being dealing with a new type of enemy, the "Scorched".
Of note is thanks to few bombs dropping literally on the region and the immediate time the game takes place (so very few raiders have gotten there before the players) you get more post-apocalyptic logs of people in the immediate aftermath. Since most of Appalachia had been automated with robots (despite far more populated areas and places that literally produced robots not reaching that extent) they can deliver quests as prerecorded messages, dropoff points, or merchants, without using NPC humans or mutants (so yeah, no chance at a talking Deathclaw again). At least players being able to nuke each other explains why the quite livable Wasteland went to shit; the residents of Vault 76, the resettlement Vault, seemingly decided to nuke America many more times so it'd take another 100 years to be safe again. Fallout 76 also added a large number of new mutants and monsters (despite Super Mutants being a large focus again) which can be used later in better entries. Despite its flaws, the game is at least being praised for its construction of a fantastic world (despite reusing F4 assets) and its sometimes amazingly creative monsters which are inspired by real life folklore and urban legends. Its possible that a lot of the Wasteland folks are descended from the Vault 76-ers, and given how insane the playerbase and intended interactions are (like nuking yourselves "just because" or giving fingerguns constantly because its a simple interaction with other players) they might explain some of the bandit groups and silly side factions in chronologically later games.

The main story goes like this: Vault 76 itself was created to celebrate the Tricentennial (for the non-Americans or just people too young to remember 1976, _____tennials are 100 year celebrations since the establishment of America in 1776 and are about as patriotic as Americans get outside of the months following 9/11). Vault 76 was one of three canon Vaults actually intended for resettlement of a post-apocalyptic world, with no sabotage experiment opening only 25 years after the bombs fell so the pre-war is still in living memory (another was Vault 3 which fans of NV knows did not go well...). Given how lush and relatively safe (or at least as safe as the rest of the world is around 200 years later) most Vaults were just redundant after the actual bombs falling, adding some extra darkness to the previous games. The Vault 76 Overseer had secret orders from Vault Tec, and the player character(s?) were selected to be among her elite group. She directs, via holotape of course, players to find a group called the Responders, made up of conspiracy theorists (more on them below) banding together with anyone with authority such as police, fire departments, and medical officials to try and save anyone left alive. The Responders were wiped out (get used to that, EVERYONE including the fucking Raiders are already dead) but left behind their stockpiles of food and water, as well as training materials (that'll be another thing you'll get a LOT of) for the resettlement of the region. The Overseer also wants her special 76 squad to take control of all remaining nuclear weapons, which was what the Vault Tec orders were.

The problem is there's a new type of enemy to the series which are taking center stage as being possibly the apocalypse after the apocalypse. A type of fungus exists deep underground, and due to the Brotherhood Of Steel (more on them later) finding an underground lab its possible it was created by one of the mad science prewar groups. Scorchbeasts are what happens when bats that lived deep underground in a gigantic cave system beneath Appalachia were exposed to the fungus, causing them to grow to giant sizes. When food supplies in the cavern complex grows low or their numbers grow too high, they tunnel to the surface to eat humans and whatever else they find. The humans they don't burn to a crisp and/or eat are infected by the fungus, resulting in a new type of zombie-like enemy (providing a secondary type of Ghoul in the game) who look like they burned to death. Said new enemies are called Scorched, and represent the bulk of the enemies in the game. Scorched are still fully capable of remembering who they were as humans, often falling back into activities or behavior patterns they did in life, but the fungus links them to a hivemind and they behave like Feral Ghouls who can still use guns and complex melee weapons once confronted by non-Scorched. Scorched have a mineral called ultracite growing in their skin for unknown reasons, which emits a radioactive signal allowing them to be tracked as well as making them physically weak to a depleted form of the substance (no reason for any of this is given). Scorched eventually petrify into human-shaped statues, which break when attacked and release radiation (possibly also spores of the fungus, but its unstated). Scorchbeasts themselves attack partially by spreading radiation, also presumably spores. If any of that seems odd and not to go together...well, it doesn't. Be prepared for some of it to make sense in DLC updates.

The player finishes the vaccine the Responders were working on to the Scorched Plague, too late to save anyone but the Vault 76 survivors, and is tasked with finding a group of anti-Scorched Responders called the Fire Breathers. The Fire Breathers are a combination of survivalist conspiracy-theorists (who were of course correct about most/all of their assumptions, because Fallout) called the Free States that had been in conflict with local governments prewar (parodying the homegrown terrorism of the 1980's and 1990's in real life) who began working with the Responders. Players become a Fire Breather using prewar training they had set up before finding out that they had basically set up sensors to detect them, which have now been destroyed by raiders and natural elements. After repairing them you are given a post-war plan to have the Brotherhood Of Steel (yeah, they're fully set up only 25 years later) to provide the dakka needed to take on the Scorched...but they've all been wiped out too of course. The plan of the Paladin in charge was to use the nukes to seal away the Scorchbeast tunnels, then work on eliminating remaining Scorched (has the word "Scorch" lost all meaning yet? If not, you clearly haven't played the game).

You're directed to a bunker for government officials using info from a Senator who supported the Free States, where you ally with an Enclave AI named MODUS who they isolated from its key functions before ALSO being wiped out. You restore MODUS's ability to access government surveillance, and upon seeing that the Scorched really are what you told it they were you're given tasks so it can promote you as a member of the Enclave so that you can launch the nukes yourself, something MODUS cannot actually do. Once you have the rank you just need the launch codes and keycards, found on the corpses of government officials and robots. During this you find out the Vault 76 Overseer is dead, as well as finishing her backstory in which she had originally been selected to be Overseer of Vault 101 (the Fallout 3 Vault) but declined in order to remain in her home state, as well as rejecting her fiance for access to Vault 76 in favor of people more suited to its mission since she's a fanatical follower of Vault Tec and a true believer in Dwellers of 76 actually repopulating the world. She tracked her fiance down, finding he had become a Scorched and her last wish being for you to lay him to rest. Once that's done you launch the nuke at the main Scorched tunnel which spawns a Scorched Queen boss. In theory you kill it, but there's no actual directive for you to do so and no actual end to the game story other than launching that nuke which completes the last main story quest. This counts as the main storyline being done, with no cutscene or exit narration at any point whether you kill the queen bat or not. From here on out you just pursue minor plots and do whatever. The Scorchbeasts will keep coming and Scorched will keep appearing, so its [[Darkest Dungeon|basically your job to keep them at bay]]. Or not, its not like there's a questline for it or any major rewards anymore, and the actual preview for the game was nuking other players, so...time to fuck up the world worse in an installment that's basically canon in name only.

The minor plots are as follows:
* Super Mutants, as always, are bumming around. This time its because of the West Tek headquarters literally being in the region. They had been working on ways to cure world hunger, and that research was abandoned when they decided to use what they were working on to instead just create the FEV virus. It was tested on a small town called Huntersville by initially abducting people and turning them into Super Mutants directly, and when the results became clear (angry hulks with diminished memories who are very aware something is wrong and thus too belligerent to take orders) they introduced FEV to the water supply in smaller amounts to see if it produced better monsters. The town was put under military quarantine, and it seems some of the healthier people were executed. The bombs fell during the experiment, and the FEV vats within the West Tek HQ were neutralized by survivors, meaning that all the Super Mutants roaming the region are the original inhabitants of Huntersville, interestingly putting a cap on the maximum number of them there can possibly be (although there could be some leftover contamination from the water, which doesn't matter given that players will drink and eat the wild agriculture from the region without mutating). So yeah, another excuse for Super Mutants but still preventing them from using the same explanation again in the future.
* A companion to the Silver Shroud comic-book quest from Fallout 4, a character in his shared universe called Mistress of Mystery was getting a television show. You can loot the a replica of her costume off of one of several dead women the wasteland. Turns out to get in to character the Mistress of Mysteries voice actress took [[batman]] training (to geive her a leg up over some one younger who looked better on screen). Then The Apocalypse happened and all that. training and a secret base paid off. The she started taking in orphan girls and training them. then bad things happed, which is how the players find the organization. (If you wonder why there's a lot of screencaps and video of male characters all wearing the same women's dress, you now know why) as well as a nice little "fuck you" from the writers of 76 parodying fanboys angry about lore on a computer terminal.
* In a similar vein to joining the Fire Breathers and Enclave via robot tasks and training, you can also join the army and become executive of a mining company.
* A LOT of "robots don't know the world ended" stuff, Some [[Golden_Throne|know but can't fight their programming]]. Maintaining a theme park, fixing up a town, organizing a picnic, delivering mail, delivering emergency supplies to towns with no survivors, big game hunting to add a collection of the new mutant species to a lodge, listening to the bedtime stories of a nanny Mr. Handy that's gone insane and now talking to mannequins, be mistaken as an escaped convict from a prison, help put another town back together but instead of working as assistant to an AI mayor you instead are appointed the new mayor by the overworked AI who then becomes YOUR assistant, and so on.
* The game continues to remind you the bombs dropped in the Halloween season with quests involving obtaining a clown costume and carving pumpkins for a robot.
* Find out about the hippie movement of the time in a mansion full of meditation tapes...which play as swarms of enemies attack. [[trazyn|Said hippe movement is a MLM and scientology combined.]]

===Various Full-Campaign World Mods===
Both good and bad, people have made various regions of the Fallout world not featured in either core games or DLC as mods. Some of these have been atrocious, like [[/d/|the fetish-ridden Fallout The Frontier]], but others aren't so bad, like Nuevo Mexico, New California, London, and Cascadia.

==On the Tabletop==
{{stub}}

===[[Fallout: The Board Game]]===
''It fucking rules.''
[[File:Fallout hero.0.jpg|thumb|right|350px|War... War changes depending on your dice rolls and choice of Quests.]]

A 1-4 player game produced by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] where you and up to three other players take the roles of different people in the wasteland. You travel and explore a randomly created wasteland, killing raiders and whatnot, scavenging ruins, gaining items and maybe supporting one of the warring factions. Each game is based on a Scenario which decides the main Quest of the game, so you can play both in the Capital Wasteland with the Brotherhood of Steel and the Enclave, or fight for synths in the Commonwealth. There's even a Scenario based on The Pitt from Fallout 3! The Scenario decides what faction that are fighting during the game. Players can support each side or just disregard their bullshit and go loot a Red Rocket Station instead or something.

The player characters are a Ghoul who gains health from Rads but has less maximum health; a Super Mutant who gains XP by gaining Rads and has different options in certain Encounters and Quests; a Brotherhood of Steel Outcast who starts the game with a slow-ass suit of Power Armor; the Wastelander who starts with a tire iron that fucks up early-game mops; and a Vault Dweller who starts with a vault suit, which you can have another clothing item over. During the game you can become Idolized or Vilified, Addicted to chems or even impromptu remember that you are a Synth!

The game feels and plays much like the vidyas, which allows loads of fun shenanigans like being caught of guard by a sudden Sentry Bot attack, finding a Quest lead during a looting section and continuously fucking with both the factions in the game for loot and XP. It's even possible to just disregard everything and go on a fun wasteland adventure just for fun. Finding items that are worth it are tough but often worthwhile, and Companions add some flavor to the game - Feel like sacrificing Preston Garvey to gain a Sniper Rifle in a trapped room, feel free! The Quest system makes the world feel alive and lets your traits and abilities like being Idolized additional weight. Of course, as a FFG game, it comes with somewhere around a few thousand small parts, so get some bags with it as well.

It's a great adaptation, and for the oldfags out there, there's a New California Expansion which allows you to fight the Master or help build the NCR.

===Fallout: Warfare===
A tabletop [[wargame]] based on the Fallout Tactics spin-off game, and released alongside it in 2001. Made by the lead designer of the original Fallout, Chris Taylor, and can be [https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/fallout/images/6/6d/Fow.pdf/revision/latest?cb=20070811034044 downloaded here.]

===RPGs===
There are a few systems for Nuka-Cola addicts to get their fill on the tabletop. The first is '''[[Exodus]]''', licensed under the [[d20 System]], which was originally going to be an official ''Fallout'' RPG until copyright disputes with Bethesda and Interplay prompted the publishers to file off the serial numbers and call it a "spiritual successor". It departs heavily from the canonical setting, and is mechanically weak, but a flexible GM will find it otherwise serviceable.

For purists, there is also J.E. Sawyer's Fallout Role-Playing Game, an original system that uses d100 rules, much like [[Dark Heresy]] only a thousand times more complicated. It is still in development and will probably never be finished, but all material can be found for free on its [http://falloutpnp.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page official wiki].

Originally, Fallout was going to be mechanically based on [[GURPS]] but due to Steve Jackson's signature controlling nature (the GURPS licence was pulled because SJ didn't like the vault boy icons) the GURPS licence was dropped and the series went with the SPECIAL system that is in use today. GURPS fans have created a Fallout suppliment that can be found [http://gurps.fallout.free.fr/data/GURPS_Fallout_compilation.pdf here].

In addition, some cool anons have created a scenario book for Fallout that focuses on the Louisiana wastes. Check it out [https://mega.nz/#!HBlzBDTS!DVNFXbkJBI6Aah6D-L4Vt1ssmvIfS2kcg43ZXIWfTHg here]. It's pretty good.

===[[Fallout: Wasteland Warfare]]===
Created by [[Modiphius Entertainment]] and released in 2018, the game was initially created as a skirmish-level wargame but with the option to let AI cards control factions to have a co-op or single player game, as well as a light RPG/settlement system. Due to reception that they had created a mediocre skirmish game but an amazing AI/campaign system, future content was bent towards that as well as a stand-alonebutactuallyitsanexpansion RPG book appropriately titled "Fallout: Wasteland Warfare Roleplaying Game".

Find it [http://www.modiphius.com/fallout.html Fallout: Wasteland Warfare here].

===Fallout d40===
A new homebrew tabletop RPG based on Fallout, called Fallout d40, was released on the internet on Oct. 23rd, 2017, 60 years prior to the bombs dropping. It aims to give people a true Fallout tabletop RPG experience. The website for it is: https://falloutd40.wixsite.com/mainpage

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:NV_Vault_Girl_Pinup.jpg|A Vault Girl pinup, wearing common Vault Tec clothing
Image:68c4cfa37650bb93940a6e4007562e09-d4qrek7.jpg|A naive young girl from California with stars in her eyes and a pneumatic gauntlet on her hand. And an Enclave eyebot.
Image:MrHandyCA1_-_Copy.jpg|A common Mr Handy domestic robot
Image:T-45_Power_Armour.png|T-45 version of Power Armour
Image:FO4_X-01_loading_screen.jpg|X-01 version of Power Armour
Image:Fo4_Raider_Power_Armor_(3).jpg|Power Armour modified by raiders
Image:Brotherhood_of_Steel_001.jpg|
Image:Brotherhood_of_Steel_002.jpg|
Image:Tesla_Armour_001.jpg|
Image:Eyebot_001.jpg|
Image:Protectron_005.jpg|
Image:fallouttable.png|Sums up the games
Image:fallouttable2.png|Sums up the DLC
</gallery>

==See Also==
*[http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Fallout_Wiki The Fallout Wiki]
*[[Brother Vinni]] for not-Fallout miniatures.

Nazi Equipment

2022-11-04T16:23:29Z

2607:FB90:3F23:DDD0:2930:A99C:FAA8:335C: /* Misc */

[[Nazi|Nazis]]. History's most stylish villains. They're famous as much for their cool equipment as for their total evilness, and because of its distinctive aesthetic and reputation- they did develop some of the most technologically advanced weapons of the 1940s, after all- it gets a lot of use in games, both traditional and otherwise. Here's a hilariously non-brief overview. As a general rule of thumb (with the exception of the Karabiner 98 which predated the Nazis by decades) Nazi equipment was [[plasma|very advanced in concept and potentially quite strong, but overly complicated and unreliable to the point of being dangerous to its user.]]

The vast majority of what you see below fall into four categories, staples of Nazi engineering:
* Decent design, but too little too late,
* Decent design, but too advanced for the technology available to be of any real use on a battlefield where ease of use and reliability are major contributors to success (case in point: the hybrid drive of the [[Elefant|Ferdinand]]),
* High Command squandered the potential because they either weren't using it to full capacity or for purposes it wasn't designed for,
* Completely and obviously fucking retarded, but if I don't follow orders I'm getting shot, sorry test pilot (and everyone else involved)!

===Small Arms===
====Rifles and SMGs====
[[File:Karabiner 98k.jpg|300px|thumb|left|Kar 98k: German for "boring, but practical". ]]
* '''''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkBrh1euWg0 Karabiner 98 kurz]'':''' ("Carbine 1898 short" in German, also called simply ''Gewehr 98'', "rifle of [18]98") The standard German infantry rifle during WWII from the old Mauser family. It was beginning to become dated in WWII, given that it was essentially just a shorter version of the venerable Gewehr 98 which armed most German soldiers in WWI. It used 7.92×57mm Mauser ammunition (often shortened to "8mm Mauser"). Probably the least "Nazi equipment" example on this list while also one of the most manufactured, the rifle's strengths were that it was fairly cheap, very accurate, and reliable. But its drawbacks were that it had a slow rate of fire and only a five-round magazine (typical for early and mid WW2 but struggled against late war Garand and SVT). The easiest weapon to compare it to in WWII would be the Soviet Mosin Nagant, which was cheaper to make, but the 98 was much more accurate. It fell short compared to the British SMLE rifle, which had a ten-round magazine and had a good rate of fire for a bolt action, though it has a substantial advantage due to 8mm Mauser being rimless while .303 British is not. Worse yet, the Karabiner 98k also went up against the semi-automatic American M1 Garand (which General Patton had called "the greatest weapon ever devised") which vastly outperformed it in spitting bullets down range. (All of the above are roughly the same range of calibre—.30 [inches] or 7 to 8mm—one which remains in use today by almost every major military as well as many civilian uses, although today's fashion is for smaller calibre, higher velocity rounds for infantry.) Even then, the gun was generally quite well regarded for what it was and there was plenty of them to go around. It was also the go-to weapon for German snipers who affixed a scope to it. The gun is still in production today (albeit with modern style furniture), it is still the German army's drill rifle, some states still use versions of it as a sniper rifle and it's sometimes found in Iraq and other third world nations where it acts as a cheap marksman's rifle. Of course, it's also an excellent hunting rifle in civilian hands.

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUjPeAgvf3U '''''Gewehr 43'']:''' "Rifle 1943". the German army's semi-automatic rifle. This weapon was developed in response to their invasion of the Soviet Union, where the Germans were shocked to find Soviet troops brandishing semi-automatic rifles (the SVT-40, primarily), drastically out-gunning their troops in firefights. The result was a fairly decent semi-automatic rifle/carbine chambered for the same rounds as the Kar98k, which derived many of it's concepts, while not being an outright clone of, the SVT-40. The rifle's magazine was also not built-in in that its detachable (allowing for quick reloads) but still had the option of allowing the shooter to rapidly use stripper-clips when reloading (either attaching them directly to the weapon from above, or using them to push several bullets at once into a magazine which attached to the rifle below.) Much like the Kar98k, it worked well as a marksman/sniper's weapon when affixed with a scope. Unfortunately, mechanically it was far from perfect as it was overgassed (not surprising, as the gas pressure that was tapped from the barrel to cycle the semi-automatic action proved to be too strong for the rifle's quite complicated mechanism, especially when made by unskilled workers from lower-quality steel). This resulted in (comparatively) frequent breakdowns and shattered parts, in addition to requiring more maintenance. Copying overmuch from the SVT-40 may have also contributed to this problem, as the 7.62x54mmR cartridge in the SVT-40 produces a lower gas pressure than the 7.92x57mm Mauser. For this reason, the G43 wasn't a very popular weapon among German troops, though its firepower was still welcome. The G43 has an interesting legacy that lasts to this day, however. Engineers discovered that, on occasion, the roller lock could fire fully automatic, careful adjustments to the mechanics provided. This discovery lead to the Development of the '''Gerät 06''' or '''StG 45 (M)''' which was the ancestor of the roller-delayed blowback systems used in guns like the MP5 or the G3.

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdQhO8FtY7c '''''Maschinenpistole 38/40'']:''' "Machine pistol 1938/1940", the iconic MP 40 is a slightly updated variant more suitable for mass-production. The most common German submachine gun through the war used mainly by squad leaders and troops fighting in urban areas. It was also the go-to weapon of specialist units like paratroopers and the SS. Uses a 32-round magazine chambered for 9x19mm rounds and typically comes with a folding wire stock. In general pretty good for the time but only a million of them were produced, compared to the millions of SMGs made by the British, Americans and Soviets. [[Derp|The primary weapon of the Nazis, according to Hollywood at least, where every single German grunt has one.]] Known for its rather simplistic design; the weapon had only one fire setting (automatic), though its cyclical rate was much lower than equivalent Allied SMGs, allowing aimed single shots at the cost of some room-clearing power. Was a major influence that can still be seen in SMG development. There was also a MP 41, combining the core MP 40 with the proper wooden stock and fire selector of the MP 28. While very popular with the SS patent bullshit got in the way and they had to end production after just under 27,000 guns.

[[File:STG 44.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Few guns end up naming a whole class of weapons, the STG 44 is one of them]]
* [https://www.forgottenweapons.com/evolution-of-the-sturmgewehr-mp431-mp43-mp44-and-stg44/ '''''Sturmgewehr 44'']:''' The "Assault rifle 1944" or '''StG 44''' was the first assault rifle adopted on a large scale. Fun fact - the name was suggested by Hitler and was pure propaganda. Chambered for the new 7.92x33mm Kurz cartridge, it gave a rifleman the power and accuracy of a rifle with the rate of fire of a submachine gun. As its name suggests, it entered the war very late, even though it is only an updated version of the MKB42, which, as the name suggests, came into the war mid-early 1942. In a rare demonstration of common sense, Hitler vetoed its mass deployment early on due to logistics (replacing over 10 million '98k' rifles with a new model that used different ammo couldn't be done overnight, or cheaply), though he approved of the idea and changed his mind later in the war when it became clear a limited impact would be better than none at all. This, combined with the fact that producing the Stg44 required the industry to adapt their tooling, and recurrent shortages of resources later in the war, heavily limited the scale at which they were produced. It was not that difficult to make though, being to Kar98 what Panther was to Panzer IV - roughly 120% of resources for superior result. It also had some mechanical issues, including a fragile feed mechanism which could jam if the rifle was knocked over. Anecdote: one of its optional attachments was the ''Krummlauf'', a curved barrel and periscope for firing around corners or from inside a vehicle hatch. Yes, it worked, but the bullets often shattered as they skittered along the curve of the barrel, causing a shotgun-like spread, and the barrels wore out quickly. In any case, the troops who received the regular StG44 loved them because it gave the firepower of a submachine gun at about three times the effective range—and it was particularly interesting to the Russians, with contest for new "avtomat" design starting in 1943, even before StG 44 entered official mass production. Due to effectively already winning a war, USSR's Ministry of Defense decided that, instead of taking what they could in 1944, all designs should be perfected as neither suited demands perfectly (especially the one about the same weight as the Stg44 was deemed to be too heavy) - and we all know what the final result was after some young Red Army engineer named Mikhail Kalashnikov got his hands on a few. Some StG 44s remained in service in the East German ''Nationale Volksarmee'' until the 1960s.

* '''''Fallschirmjägergewehr 42'':''' "Paratrooper rifle 1942", and if a K98k and a MG42 could have a baby together this battle rifle would be it. Created in limited numbers for the exclusive use of German paratroopers. The high-ups realized that the K98k was too long for paratroopers, and the MP40 wasn't suitable outside of urban combat, so they wanted something that handled like a carbine but could fire like a machine gun. Beyond that Hermann Goring wanted his Luftwaffe airborne troops to have something a cut above what the regular Heer grunts to fortify his personal fiefdom in the Reich. The FG 42 was designed as a shorter, automatic battle rifle to give paratroops superior firepower, using a side-loading box magazine. Its high recoil made automatic fire inadvisable, as with later automatic high-caliber battle rifles such as the US M14. While it never really took off, it was quite the solid design, and is notable for influencing the design of the American M60 machine gun after the war.

*'''''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knPDsJyCpjI Kriegsmodell]''''': as the war dragged on and as the Germans got their fascist asses kicked across Europe, and their factory's and homes began to be leveled by Allied Bombers, the Germans started to try and make there equipment faster and cheaper. Starting at first with small changes here and there as they dropped some superfluous features, to at the end of the war they were cutting corners like it was crunch time at the Circle factory.
**'''''Volkssturmgewehr''''': Literal garbage guns made from parts of broken or defective weapons, surplus barrels and wood that barely deserves to be called so. Part of the vain efforts to make the Volkssturm units into anything resembling an organized fighting force and to make a quick and extremely cheap produced gun to defend what was left of Germany by 1945 and like the German war effort, utterly failed due to being too complicated. Yeah, the last ditch weapons that look like an Ork Mek would think they are too crude for his taste use in fact a fairly elaborate mechanism that put their price tag slightly above that of an StG 44.

*'''''MP-3008''''': Literally a British STEN Gun with the Mag rotated 90 degrees. The STEN was designed early in the war to be as cheap and easy to make as possible, the Germans captured a few of them over the course of the war, so the Germans decided to copy the damn thing late in the war as a desperation measure. A few thousand of them were made before the Nazi regime died.

* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zielgerät_1229 '''Zielgerät "Vampir"''']: Night vision rifle. Produced too late too few. Per usual Nazi gimmicks, quite capable, powerful, but not produced enough because the industrial base and time wasn't enough. Caused distress to Soviets briefly.

====Pistols====

[[File:Lugar Pistol.jpg|300px|thumb|left|The quintessential Bad Guy pistol]]

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIX1EL1hTmE '''''Pistole Parabellum 1908'']:''' "Pistol Parabellum 1908". The Nazis used a bunch of pistols in truth, but none are as iconic of the Third Reich as the P08 Luger with its joint armed breech. It could load an eight-round box magazine or a thirty-two-round drum. The 9x19mm Parabellum cartridge was initially designed for this pistol and is still one of the most common pistol calibers in the world. It was eventually phased out in favor of the P38 as being a standard-issue sidearm due to the Luger being too expensive to manufacture for the entire German army, although the Luger was still available for the troops and officers who could afford it. The Luger was also somewhat unique at the time in that it could still double as a pistol carbine by affixing a stock and a 32-round drum-magazine to it, when carbine-convertible pistols had started falling out of fashion years before. The exotic toggle-lock mechanism of the gun meant it had shitty reliability in field conditions, but the gun was made at a time when sidearms were typically issued to specialists, officers, and policemen, who were typically away from conditions that could foul up the gun. WW2 era produced Lugers go for several thousand dollars *today* as collectibles.

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXAMma6mUq8 '''Walther ''Pistole 38'']:''' "Walther Pistol 1938". The Walther P38 replaced the Luger P08 as the Wermacht service pistol just before World War II due to it being cheaper to produce. It loaded a 9x19mm eight-round detachable box magazine. Nerds will recognize this as G1 Megatron's alt-mode, and attentive [[James Bond]] fans will recall it seeing some use in ''Goldfinger''. MUCH more common than the Luger despite what Hollywood would tell you, and a decent pistol, if a bit annoying due to its hard-to-pull trigger. The Italians cloned its internals in the M1951, meaning the Beretta 92 is the P38's grandchild.

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vkU3CIPdMk '''Mauser ''Construktion 96'']:''' "Construction 1896". Popularly known as the "Boxcannon" (by the Chinese) and "Broomhandle" (by most everyone else); it loaded ten rounds from a stripper clip into an internal magazine, although there was also an option for a 20-round magazine that had the added bonus of the entire magazine being detachable instead of being built-into the weapon. The C96 was typically chambered for either the newer 9x19mm or the original 7.63x25mm rounds (which were so high velocity for a pistol cartridge of the time that they were only surpassed with the later development of the .357 Magnum). The C96 was not typically issued to the main German army during WW2—only the Luftwaffe were known users of the weapon during the war, as sidearms for their pilots. It was also one of the first and most iconic of the pistol carbine designs, innovating the wooden holster that could double as a detachable stock, making it (and Spanish and Chinese knockoffs) extremely popular in areas like China where proper longarms might be either too expensive or banned from import. However, by the 30s and 40s, this feature had fallen out of fashion in the West and wasn't included in newer production models, with only a few being modified to restore the functionality. Nerds will recognize this as Han Solo's DL-44 blaster pistol from the original ''Star Wars'' trilogy, with some gubbins glued to it to make it more sci-fi.

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4COZpIw9UMI '''Walther Polizeipistole/Polizeipistole Kurz''']: "Police Pistol/Police Pistol short". You know this one, it's the gun made popular by Ian Fleming and [[James Bond]] super-spy character. The Walther PP is a compact pistol that was typically issued to German police units (Kripo, Gestapo, Gefepo and Feldgendarmerie), but also as a sidearm to military officers and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Rz-jKH_V04 senior party members]. The PPK variant was an even smaller version of the PP, designed for concealed carry in mind (in fact it was so small that it can typically fit into the sleeves of most longcoats, making it useful for infiltrators). It could come chambered for either 7.65mm (.32 ACP to Americans) or 9x17mm (.380 Auto) rounds. The Cold War era Soviet Makarov pistol would largely be based on the PP pistols, though in a (slightly) more powerful cartridge known as 9x18 or 9mm Makarov (which is actually thicker than the now ubiquitous 9x17/9mm Parabellum, since Soviets measured width from a different part of the cartridge). The PPK and cheaper clones (such as the Bersa Thunder, in .380 ACP or 9mm Kurz "Short") are readily available today and basically never stopped production. If you're looking to buy one in the states, be aware that there have been several license holders: Interarms (1978-1999, truest to the original design), S&W (2002-on, have had some recalls over serious defects), and Black Creek (1999-2001, very limited numbers).

====Machine Guns====

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfJkU4Sah8I '''''Maschinengewehr 42'']:''' "Machine gun 1942". German military doctrine during WWII was built around the machine gun and, as such, the Germans developed an exceptional machine gun in the MG 42 (basically an improved but functionally identical version of the earlier MG 34). It was lightweight at 11.7 kg, was belt fed unlike the magazine fed LMGs it usually went against, and it could nominally fire 1,200 rounds per minute (although, in practice, it was actually even faster) while most other machine guns could barely reach 600. That much [[dakka]] causes a lot of heat, so the gun was designed for easy swapping of barrels; although even with the barrels being regularly changed it was not uncommon for these guns to fire so fast that a cartridge would ignite before being fully loaded, completely breaking the gun and potentially injuring the gun's crew. Its terrifying rate of fire and distinctive report earned it the nickname "Hitler's Buzzsaw". The core idea of the MG42 was the universal machine gun. the German army would not have Heavy Machines, light machine guns or medium machine guns or anti air machine gun, it would just have the one machine gun. That stupidly high rate of fire was so in a situation it had to shoot at enemy air craft it would be able to put enough lead in the air to make it possible to hit something, quick change barrels let it put a high sustained fire out without being water cooled, and it was light enough to be man portable: it did it all. The MG 42 was the basis for numerous other weapons throughout the Cold War (and is still used in NATO-forces today as MG3, they only changed to NATO-standard-caliber and reduced the firing rate to actually be 1200 rounds per minute, as opposed to the 1500 rpm of the original MG42). The MG3 is still widely exported and its production licensed to NATO and allies. A ''double barrel'' variant of the MG3 was also produced as a ''low cost Minigun alternative''.

* '''''Maschinengewehr 34'':''' The predecessor to the MG 42, it was still in wide use at the start of the war. It had a lower, more controllable rate of fire of around 800-900 RPM, and had a single-shot mode that was removed in the MG 42. Its production went on parallel to the MG 42 because its swing-down barrel-swap method was more compatible with vehicle ball mounts than MG 42's slide-open method, so all MGs seen on German tanks even late in the war were still MG 34's.

*'''''Maschinengewehr 08/15''''': A mid-WW1 improvement on the regular MG 08 of the Imperial German army. It was developed as an answer to the problem that infantry in the field often had problems in the field to assault positions with no support from automatic weapons and the standard MG 08 being too heavy and too cumbersome to carry around. The result saw the mounting of the MG 08 being replaced by a bipod and the coolant jacket being reduced in size and volume, bringing down its weight from almost 40 kilos down to a more comfortable 20, and the addition of a shoulder stock also made it possible to use it like a more modern LMG.By modern standards, still way too heavy to reliably use it in that particular role, but it worked well enough for the Germans that they continued to improve on it, leading to its late (and due to the end of WW1 ultimately ineffective) , fully air-cooled version of the LMG 08/18, which did away with water cooling entirely, reducing its weight down to 16 kilos, actually making it comparable to guns like the Lewis Gun (Also the reason why Drum-fed LMGs never catched on in the German military, as Germany was forbidden to develop any new automatic weapons under the Versailles treaty conditions). The 08/15 remained the standard MG for the Reichswehr and even the early Wehrmacht. Loads of them remained in stockpile well into the war, where they were issued to rear and police units for what the Nazis called "Anti-Partisan action", with reports of the weapons being used tracking all the way into late 1941 and 1942. Fun fact: The gun was so ubiquotous and regular training tasks on it so tedious, that the word "nullachtfünfzehn" (Zero-Eight-Fifteen) entered the German language as a derogatory term for something mediocre, uninspired and boring.

====Anti-Tank Infantry Weapons====

* '''''Hafthohlladung'':''' In English, "Attachable Shaped Charge" (get used to this very literal naming scheme, it continues below). Very soon into the war, the Germans realized they would never have enough tanks and AT guns to go around, so they developed weapons that would allow an infantryman to (in theory, at least) deal with a tank. The Hafthohlladung was such an early attempt. A big AT grenade with three magnets that allowed it to stick to any metallic surface, it would make a nice hole into any tank it was attached to... Which makes the weapon's main drawback immediately clear: [[Tankbustas|running up to an operational tank to slap a bomb to its flank wasn't exactly safe]]. In theory, you could also try to [[Genestealer#Genestealer_Cults|wait and hide in ambush]] for the tank to pass close by since visibility from inside a tank wasn't that great, but that would require being able to anticipate the path of the tank (without accidentally getting run over), and tanks were often supported by infantry anyway. At the very least, they were less suicidal than the Japanese "lunge mine." The Hafthohlladung wasn't really a successful weapon and saw only limited use, but it paved the way for the next item on the list:

* '''''Panzerfaust'':''' "Armor fist", or, more literally, "tank fist". A disposable one-shot anti-armor weapon for use against tanks and entrenched positions. Really cheap to produce, lightweight, and able to do a lot of damage to tanks at close range (maximum range being at most 150 meters for the later models). And it was really easy to use: hold in crook of the arm, flip a switch up that becomes an iron sight (and also arms the weapon), aim, squeeze the firing lever, and enjoy the fireworks. The basic idea of how they were used was to give one guy in every squad (or more) one of them so that if a tank ever did get close, there was a chance they'd be able to take it out or do some damage. This, among other things, made allied generals wary about sending tanks to clear out German infantry forces, especially among the ambush-friendly hedgerows of northern Europe. That said, Panzerfausts were useless for trying to snipe at tanks from a distance (with an effective range of about 60m of the most produced versions) and could not be reloaded with another rocket, preventing most troops from carrying more than one shot on their person. In the last days of the war, the Nazis gave these to grannies and kids on the off-chance that they could destroy an allied tank when they rolled into town. In fact, it was so cheap to produce every member of late Volkssturm was generally issued one, while every third was lucky enough to be issued a rifle. Looked like a fist in a tube, hence the name. Its general design was later copied by the Russians, eventually used in the RPG-2 and RPG-7 rocket launchers. The concept of the Panzerfaust is still very much alive in the form of many "Light Anti-tank Weapons" (M72, AT4, MATADOR,...) in use today.

* '''''Panzerschreck'':''' "Armor terror", or "tank fright". A reusable anti-tank rocket launcher based off captured American bazookas, and you can almost imagine the Nazi scientist getting one and saying "[[Ork|Bigga is Betta!]]"! (Although the actual reaction was probably also: "VHY DIDN'T VE ZHINK OF ZHAT!!!", see next item on the list.) The Panzerschreck was larger than the Bazooka, with an 88mm muzzle size (where the first Bazooka was only 60mm)—in fact, it is still larger than most rocket launchers and mortars in use today. Like the Bazooka, but unlike the Panzerfaust, it could be reloaded, and had a longer range than the Faust bar the latest version. The Panzerschreck has a distinctive steel blast shield in front, which has to do with the larger rocket blowing hot exhaust into the users face. Early models without the shield ended up requiring the operator to wear a gasmask and protective poncho (which must have sucked for the first person to test it, before they figured that out). The Panzershreck was more useful as an offensive weapon than the Panzerfaust, since it was capable of easily penetrating the armor of any tank they faced (and at better ranges) thanks to the bigger rocket. But on the other hand, it was very much a temperamental weapon that required trained operators, so its use was restricted to dedicated tank hunter teams (unlike the Panzerfaust, which was simple enough that a 10-year old kid could handle it).

*'''''Sturmpistole'':''' An early attempt at making a lightweight anti-tank weapon, the sturmpistole was little more than a modified flare gun equipped with a stock and sighting system, and fired oversized warheads out of the muzzle like the Panzerfaust. Unlike the panzerfaust, it didn't see much success due to the small size of the warhead.

*'''''Raketenwerfer 43'':''' At the time Germany [[Blood Ravens|acquired]] the Bazooka and refined it into Panzerschreks, they had there own version of a two-man team rocket based anti-tank weapon: the Raketenwerfer 43 a.k.a. the "Puppchen" or "Little Doll". Why such a weird nickname? Because it was, for all purposes and intent, a miniature artillery piece: wheeled and towed and working from a a closed breech exactly like the rest of the German field guns and howitzers (except it fired rockets). Despite its better range and accuracy it was more expensive and harder to make then the Panzerschreck or Bazooka, so not nearly as many of them were made as compared to 'schrecks.

*'''''Panzerwurfmine'':''' "Mine to be thrown at tanks" (don't say we didn't warn you about the names). Another attempt at allowing infantrymen to deal with a tank, this is basically a shaped charge with deployable stabilizing cloth fins that was thrown overhand to land on the top a tank and blow a nice, big hole through it. Cheap to produce and very efficient, but it required lots of practice to use, so it was only given to trained "[[Tankbustas|tank-hunter]]" teams. The Russians captured some of those, were duly impressed, and promptly refined the German concept into their own "RPG-6" AT hand grenade that was just as cheap and efficient but way easier to use, and so good it was still part of their arsenal when the Soviet Union fell and can still be found all over the world in relatively low-intensity conflicts. Sure, it won't kill a modern tank, but it sure as hell will kill third-world militia in up-gunned Toyotas.

*'''Various AT-Rifles''': Germany utilized a lot of AT-Rifles at the very beginning of the war, just like every other major power at the time did, and just like their counterparts, they became obsolete really, really quickly, with only the USSR really committing to their use thorughout the entirety of the war. Here are some of the AT-Rifles the Germans used.
**'''''Tankgewehr M1918''''': The daddy of the AT-Rifle and, in a sense, most anti-materiel rifles to this day. Developed near the end of WW1 by the German Empire in search of an reliable alternative to light or medium field guns in the role of anti-tank weaponry. It essentially is a Mauser Gewehr 98 on steroids firing a massive 13mm round that could penetrate up 20 millimeters of armour on ranges of 100 meters and below. It needed a lot of training to make it work right; the recoil was reported to be strong enough to dislocate a mans shoulder if used incorrectly and even if done right, the marksman would become nauseous after just 2 or 3 shots at maximum. To put it in perspective: Imagine firing a gun, whose recoil feels like a seasoned boxer just hit you in the nuts. The Wehrmacht used some of them that were still lying around in arsenals all over Germany and some they took from the Polish army.
**'''''Panzerbüchse 39''''': Or "Tank Rifle Model 39". Whereas other nations like the British and the Soviets tried to improve their AT-Rifles by using larger calibers with bigger powder charges (the British used a .55 cartridge, the Soviets 14,5 by 114 millimeters), the Germans actually made their bullets smaller, using a 7,92mm by 94 cartridge. The idea was basically to increase the kinetic force of the bullet through speed instead of mass and it sorta worked, the PzB 39 was comparable to most other AT-Rifles of the time. It's shortcomings main came from (as is tradition) overengineering; the PzB 39 was a breech-loading rifle (like an artillery gun) and the action was expensive and labour-intensive to produce. Additionally, unlike most of its comtemporaries and even some of the other AT-Rifles the Germans used, it was single shot only (The Boys AT Rifle had a 5 round magazine, as did the Soviet PTRS-41). The rifle proved barely effective already in Poland and France and was subsequently either phased out or coverted into grenade launchers.
**'''''Panzerbüchse SS41''''': An insanely complicated, impractical marvel of engineering developed specifically for SS troops. The need for alternative weapons for the Waffen-SS divisions arose when Himmler wanted to use the SS alongside traditional Wehrmacht units; however the Wehrmacht Generals disliked the idea of a paramilitary force loyal only to the Nazi party, yet alone an army of glorified thugs and some political lobbying lead to the Wehrmacht keeping its monopoly on all weapons produced by the german arms industry, a priviledge the SS didn't have, so Himmler sourced weapons from all over Europe and took whatever he could get his filthy hands on (In spite of what /pol/lacks and Wehraboos might tell you, most SS units were poorly equipped and used a huge variety of surplus or obsolete rifles, submachineguns and looted guns). The SS41 differs in this regard as it was developed in secret specifically for the SS in Czechia from prototypes the Czechs developed on their own before their annexation into the Greater German Reich. Cycling this monstrous contraption requires the soldier operating it to slide the entire forward assembly forwards and backwards, a process that looks as awesome as it was tedious. Speaking of looks, this gun is really a beauty, you gonna hand it to them, and a Bullpup design on top of that. It fired the same 7.92 by 94mm cartridge the PzB 39 used, so it's fair to say that it didn't take long to become obsolete and surviving examples are exceedingly rare.
**'''''Solothurn S18/1000''''': A ludicrously massive gun more akin to a cannon than anything else. Developed as part of the German schemes to gain access to modern firearms in spite of the conditions of the Versailles treaty in the late 20s. It was in fact so large that the Swiss put wheels on it and called it a cannon. It fired a FUCKHUEG 20mm round and needed 3 men or operate and carry it and built the basis of nearly all automatic cannons the German military developed and used through out the war.

====Misc====

* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M30_Luftwaffe_drilling '''''M30 Luftwaffe Drilling'']:''' The Germans had never been too keen on combat shotguns for various reasons (during WWI Kaiser Wilhelm was famously mocked for his protests that the American use of pump-action shotguns constituted a war crime), but the emergent Luftwaffe air force saw the need for equipping their pilots with survival weapons, in the event that they were shot down far from friendly forces and needed to hunt or defend themselves. They decided on a drilling combination gun (a double-barreled shotgun with a single-shot rifle barrel) as the ideal solution. However, the Luftwaffe's commander Hermann Goering had a propensity for being vain and flashy instead of practical, and chose the fancy high-end hunting rifles that aristocrats would purchase, instead of putting out an order for [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M6_Aircrew_Survival_Weapon cheap, mass-produced weapons that would get the job done] at a fraction of the cost. As a result, the few surviving M30 drillings are extremely collectible and valueable.

*'''''[[Looted|Captured Weapons]]''''': Due to necessity and practicality, German troops also commonly used enemy equipment from all sides, predominantly Soviet weapons due to their large sweeps during the first stage of the invasion of Russia. To ease supply concerns, some weapons were converted to use standard German ammunition like the ''PPSh-41 submachine-gun'' (which was converted from 7.62x25mm to 9x19mm), while others actually had new Soviet-style ammunition made for them in converted factories.

*Camouflage pattern battledress for infantrymen. Well, okay, the Italians came up with the idea in the 1920s, but it was the Germans who mass produced it and issued it on a large scale.

*'''''Fliegerfaust''''': The very first MANPAD ever developed to be used against airplanes. Originally an offshoot of the Panzerschreck development program, the Fliegerfaust was supposed to offer decent firepower against low-altitude CAS aircraft for the lowly infantryman. In essence, it worked like an 8-barreled Panzerschreck, where the closing of an electric circuit fired a bundle of small, 2-cm charges up to 300 meters into the air like a shotgun, causing a small cloud of explosions and shrapnel to envelop the target for a brief amount of time. It was never used in any capacity whatsoever, as it was very late to arrive to the party (development started in mid 1944, with serial production planned to begin in March 1945). Only about 80 prototypes from field trials were captured by the end of the war by the allies and influenced modern MANPADS like the FIM-92 Stinger to a great degree.

===Artillery pieces and AT-Guns===

*'''''Granatwerfer 36''''': Leave it to the Germans to overengineer a simple tube that spits out explosives. This little critter was supposed to serve as light, indirect fire support on the squad level and a bunch of gizmos tacked onto it that made aiming with it a hell of a lot easier - too bad the small caliber (5cm) limited its range and effectiveness in its intended role. Production was terminated in 1941, the reason given that the thing was too complex and too heavy, which in hindsight is a real headscratcher, as to why the High Command didn't come to this conclusion sooner (especially since the thing offered no significant advantage over rifle Grenades) , although it remained in use throughout the rest of the war.
*'''''Leichtes Infantriegeschütz 18''''': The LeIG 18 was an evolution of the proven and reliable "Leichter Minenwerfer 18", the German answer to the Stokes Mortar that the British used. The idea was to give out a light field artillery piece to take out targets that sat in the niche of targets that were too insignificant to justify a full barrage or tank assault, too strongly defended or entrenched to just assault them solely with infantry. Think isolated pillboxes or MG-Nests holding a minor strongpoint. The odd naming stems from the conditions of the Versailles treaty, to give the Reichswehr plausible deniability for any curious allied noses poking in to German arms research.
*'''''8-cm Granatwerfer 34''''': A carbon copy of the Stokes Mortar. Yes, really.
*'''''15-cm Schweres Infanterie Geschütz 33''''': The largest gun that any given Infantry battallion had on offer. Fired 38 kilograms of explosives over considerable distances, and also served as the main armament of the Sturmpanzer IV.
*'''''Leichte Feldhaubitze (LeFH) 18''''': Another oddly named design, this 'Light Field Howitzer' was the most common field gun of the German army. Efficient enough early in the war thanks to its 105mm caliber, it was eventually held back by considerable downsides that became apparent too late (too heavy, too difficult to move around and rather short range of around 10 km). When it became clear that the LeFH 18 really couldn't compare with Allied artillery pieces (like the Soviet 152 mm ML-20 howitzer, American M114 155 mm howitzer, which delivered heavier payloads or the British QF-25-Pounder, which fired much quicker), various improvements over the course of the war were attempted to keep it relevant. But ultimately it was outdated by 1941, and never could close the gap again.
*'''''3,7-cm PaK 36''''': Probably the most advanced AT-Gun in the interwar period, but often gets a bad rep from reports of German soldiers, who had to fire the thing at Churchills, T-34s and other more modern tanks, earning it the moniker "Heeresanklopfkanone", or "The Heer's (German armed forces) door knocking cannon". Its major boons however were its very light weight and the perfected design of its mounting, making it very easy to transport and move. Seeing how much the German army invested in this gun before the war (over 9000 being built when the war started and an additional 5500 until 1941) they tried their damndest to keep the thing relevant even when it was very clear it could no longer keep up. Still, a remarkable and groundbreaking design for the early thirties, with 6000 being sold abroad and Japan, the USSR and even the United States outright copying the design with few modifications.
*'''''5-cm PaK 38''''': Practically identical to the 5-cm gun of the Panzer III. The PaK 38s bigger, beefier brother, intended to fight off bigger tanks the light 3,7-cm couldn't handle - with very mediocre results. That is, until Germans made APCR for them in 1942, at which point they accounted for most [[T-34]]s and [[KV]]s losses of the time. However, those APCR required tungsten, and Third Reich didn't have much of it, sooo...
*[[PaK-40_Anti-Tank_Gun|'''''7,5-cm PaK 40''''']]: ...this masterpiece was made. The first design that came onto the scene with WW2 in mind. Introduced in 1942, it was very effective design that in the latter half of the war ultimately became the most AT-Gun the Germans used. Retained relevance all the way to 1945, with Soviets and Britts making heavy tanks that could comfortably take it out only in 1944, and even then those weren't impervious. With its' high penetration and low profile, the only problem PaK-40 had was the ungodly kick that literally dug ground spades in after every shot, making it difficult to maneuver if outflanked. Modified versions of it became the main armament of a lot of German Tanks and Tank destroyers, the most notable of it being the Panther and the Jagdpanzer IV.
*'''''8-cm PAW 600''''': Hilariously obscure as far as this list goes, the ''Panzerabwehrwerfer 600''/8H63 was developed as the war progressed and Germany was finding its anti-tank weapons got to be stuck with the dichotomy of either being too immobile to adapt to battlefield conditions with its biggest AT guns or having too short-range to properly handle a regiment's anti-tank defense in full with its Panzerschrecks. Thus, the PAW 600 was designed to be lighter than other AT guns by the use of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High–low_system the High-low system] leading to a smoothbore gun that fired high explosive anti-tank rounds. The design was even atypically made with consideration for logistics by basing its rounds off of the Granatwerfer 34 mortars' to make continued use of existing manufacturing tooling and it theoretically could have fired any other ammunition that would go into a Granatwerfer 34 (such as high-explosive or smoke rounds) which would have been noteworthy at the time since usual AT-guns firing high-explosive rounds really didn't do much since not much explosive filler fit into the thick walls of high-velocity rounds...but as mentioned, the thing was hilariously obscure and only 260 of them ever got built, so accounts of them actually having been used at all is very sparse - there was a statement from a Major in 15th/19th The King's Royal Hussars that they were used against the regiment near the River Aller on April 14th, 1945 to provide some evidence that the weapon had any effect on a battle in the war at all.
*[[PaK-43|'''''8,8-cm PaK 43''''']]: A modified version of the infamous 8,8-cm Flak gun, stripped down to its essentials and with a longer barrel, wheeled carriage and gunshield to act as an AT-gun. Other than that, they're basically identical.
*'''''12,8-cm PaK 44''''': The biggest, baddest AT-gun any side ever devised. One could argue that it was probably overkill, as it was so impractical and heavy that any use outside of fortified positions would be pointless. Given that the gun was designed when the war effort started to really go south and Germany found itself in a defensive war, probably a negligible downside, but then again, it didn't really seem to make any difference in the end. Some were used as part of the Siegfried Line and the Defense of Berlin, but they were very rare and the only examples that remain today are the ones built into the surviving Jagdtigers and the Maus.

===Vehicles===
====Tanks====
German tanks were in general well designed, but in hindsight were overengineered and prone to breakdowns in the field. For example, take their ''Schachtellaufwerk'' (interleaved roadwheels system for tracks). The idea was: more roadwheels = weight distributed more evenly over track = less ground pressure = less bogging down and/or a higher maximum load. It was also supposed to lessen tank shaking and allow to fire (relatively) accurately on the move. Great idea on paper, and a pretty good one when testing prototypes at home... but an absolute hell on the Eastern front, where the almost supernaturally awful mud (or ''rasputitza'') infiltrated between the wheels before freezing and breaking everything. Cue hour after hour of work for the maintenance teams, removing the track and wheels for cleaning before mounting them again [[FAIL|each and every time the goddamn tank sortied]], where a more traditional slack-track system would have required much less cleaning. And those were just added on top of the already quite large list of ''traditional'' mechanical breakdowns that plagued any and all vehicle pool of the epoch...

Another big weakpoint in the German Panzerwaffe was the lack of standardization between the individual tank models. The Allies, more or less made the variations of their Tanks (which were standardized for every company and factory making them) from existing Models and fitted them with weapons they deemed appropriate for the task at hand([[Leman Russ (tank)|just like the Leman Russ in fact]]), which eased supply and maintenance whereas the Germans designed entirely new vehicles for every purpose across multiple manufacturers with their own specifications, tooling and production lines. In practice, this meant that parts between German vehicle types were mostly incompatible with each other (i.e. a gear made for a Panzer IV "A" could not go into a Panzer IV "J", compared to T-34s being basically entirely compatible.) and it quickly became a logistical nightmare to sufficiently supply all tank units with spare parts or even fuel (The Germans never could make their minds up if they preferred Gasoline or Diesel). That's not to say that they didn't know or realize this (thoughts in this direction lead into the E-Series of design studies, planned to be a series of tank models that more or less shared all parts with each other except armament and chassis) but by 1944 Germany lacked the industrial capacity and resources to switch to a more economical model of production. Furthermore, the German model of tank production didn't help too; all of the German tanks were hand-crafted, using expensive and elaborate methods with strict tolerances to produce the best results they could offer which becomes redundant when you compare it to the production streets of the T-34 and the Sherman that were put out by the dozens. The "5 to 1 ratio" of allied vs German Tanks is as much the result of the Modus Operandi of the German war industry as it is of failed planning, overly complicated designs, fascist inefficiency and having the SHIT bombed out of them.

In the end, the true selling point of the ''Panzerwaffe'' was not the tanks themselves, but instead, primarily, the tactics of using them, the crew members manning them, the mechanics supporting them, and the radios installed in every tank that allowed for a level of coordination between tanks, infantry, and artillery not seen before the start of WWII (which formed the core of ''Blitzkrieg'' tactics). This, along with some powerful late-war designs, occasionally gave German tanks an edge over Allied tanks until production problems, stability issues and most of all fuel shortages became overwhelming.

German tanks are called "''Panzer''", which when directly translated means "''armor''", and more specifically is the shortened version of "''Panzerkampfwagen''" (Armored Fighting Vehicle). The name is often abbreviated to just "PzKpfw" or even "Pz". The habit of naming tanks, airplanes and other pieces of equipment, like the V3 gun after animals, mostly predators, was introduced after a suggestion by Goebbels in 1944 to increase the propagandistic value of the vehicles. This is why earlier vehicles have none of these names and were named "at face value". At no point in time did these nicknames show up in official records of the Wehrmacht aside from anecdotal mentions in field reports. The official records of the Heereswaffenamt (Army armory office) used the ''Sonderkraftfahrzeug'' ("Special purpose vehicle", Sd.Kfz. in short) system of designations instead.
* '''Panzer I:''' Designed and produced in defiance of the Treaty of Versailles, the ''Panzerkampfwagen I'' was the first Nazi tank. It was small, weighing only 5.4 tonnes, and was armed only with two MG-13 machine guns. Some 1,493 were made, and were most notable in that they allowed tank crews to be trained, and (after being sent to Spain) let tank doctrines be developed that later allowed the Nazis to take over Poland. They saw some use at the beginning of WWII, but were pretty soon deemed to be out of date even on scouting missions. Until they were deemed totally obsolete, they were continuously upgraded and specialized, and had several variants including a potential recon paratrooper-tank. Primary Nazi tank of the Condor legion in the Spanish Civil War. [[File:Panzer I.PNG|thumb|right|300px|Mein Herr! Can't ve get somezing better zan zis Panzer I?]] As with a lot of Nazi tanks that became obsolete, the old PzKpfw I's were sometimes stripped to the chassis and repurposed for things such as artillery and tank-destroyer roles, though this was relatively rare. Should also be noted the Panzer I is the textbook example on a tankette rather then a full tank, though since early WW2 would define the important strategic difference of tankettes vs tanks its no surprising it became the primary armoured vehicle before the war.
* [[Panzer_II|'''Panzer II:''']] The ''Panzerkampfwagen II'' was designed using the experience gained in the Spanish Civil War. Heavier than the Panzer I at 8.9 tonnes, it was designed as a stopgap, as the Panzer III and IV were experiencing delays in production. It was armed with a dinky automatic 20mm cannon that was little better than an anti-tank rifle. Common during the early war, it was made obsolete by the arrival of the Panzer III and IV, and relegated to reconnaissance duties, training, or conversion into open-topped tank destroyers. Much like it's younger brother, it too was pushed through several variants; however, instead of trying to upgrade it to stay in main-line action, it was turned into a better scout tank so that the Panzer III could take over the main-line role. Primary Nazi tank for the invasion of Poland and France.
** '''Panzer II Ausf. L "Luchs"''': The final version of the Panzer II with a redesigned turret housing the same 2cm-autocannon in a new turret and a modified chassis. Speedy little bugger (it could reach up to 60 kph under optimal conditions) that served as a scouting verhicle for the tank divisions, with 100 being built.
* [[Panzer_III|'''Panzer III:''']] One of the two main German tanks of the war, the ''Panzerkampfwagen III'' was about when Germany really got the hang of this whole tank design thing. Introduced in 1939, it weighed 23 tonnes, carried a 37mm anti tank gun, and notably had a turret big enough for three guys (which is actually more important than you might think, as it allows the crew to share the workload, e.g., the Loader's only task would be to load the gun with correct ammo in as short time as possible, the Gunner focuses on aiming and firing the gun, while the Commander can retain situational awareness and, well, give orders). Contemporary tanks usually had two- or even one-man turrets, forcing the crew to share responsibilities, thus lowering combat efficiency. The Panzer III was designed from the ground up to engage enemy tanks, rather than the infantry and light vehicles of earlier models. In Poland, France, and North Africa it did well, even though some French vehicles still outgunned them. Against Soviet T-34s, however, it was completely insufficient, unless upgraded to a 50mm gun and firing APDS. Thankfully, unlike the French and Russians, the Panzer III were all equipped with radios, allowing them to out-maneuver the un-radioed yet otherwise better tanks. Production stopped in 1942, but since they had built 5,774 of them, they stayed in service until the end of the war. The chassis was used to produce the StuG assault cannon (although "Geschütz" is hard to translate to English: it's neither a mere gun, nor a cannon, being more of a tank destroyer, i.e., a "sniper"-style tank), which would be the most widely produced German vehicle of the war. Switched roles with Panzer IV to become the infantry support tank with short barrelled howitzer, though this was soon also replaced with a dual-purpose gun. Primary Nazi tank for the invasion of Soviet Union.
* [[Panzer_IV|'''Panzer IV:''']] Ultimately the most common German made tank, with nearly 9,000 units being built over the course of the war (now compare numbers with those nearly 50,000 Shermans and 61,000 T-34s), the ''Panzerkampfwagen IV'' was the Panzer III's big brother. The Panzer IV was originally intended to be used against infantry and was armed with a low-velocity 75mm gun for blowing stuff up with explosive shells. After the invasion of Russia they switched to a 50mm anti-tank gun, and later a 75mm high-velocity cannon while also being up-armored to an absolute weight limit of a chassis. After that upgrade, it was generally on par with the T-34 and M4 Sherman (on average, at least — they had a less powerful engine, but better optics). Unlike early Soviet tanks, every Panzer IV generally had a working a radio receiver. It's chassis became the foundation of many German vehicles of all classifications. Primary Nazi tank from 1942 to the end of the war in 1945.
* [[Panther|'''Panzer V Panther:''']] The Panther was introduced in 1943 and is often argued to be the the best tank of the war. It copied many features of the T-34 and improved on them. It was listed as a "medium tank," despite weighing in at 44.8 tonnes (due to the Germans attributing a class with the intended use in mind, not weight). Its 75mm/L70 gun was one of the most powerful tank guns of the war, and could destroy any Allied tank. Quite mobile for its weight, its frontal armor was more effective than that of the Tiger's thanks to sloping. It truly was a swift and hard as nails death machine... when it was in working order, that is. The Panther was rushed into service and had even more mechanical problems than the Tiger did due to its rushed design. The transmission, for example, broke down on averag after just 250 kilometers (that's 155 miles for you yanks) of use, leading to a lot of abandoned tanks. On the plus side, the Panther was only about 20% more expensive to produce than the Panzer IV, and the Germans managed to produce 6,000 of them, though switching over did cost them in terms of other production due to the necessary retooling time. Along with the Tiger, the Panther was enough of a threat for the Western Allies to up-gun their Shermans (the 'Firefly' with the British 17-pounder gun and the multiple American (76) variants sporting a more powerful 76 mm gun) and the Soviets to make up-armored and up-gunned T-34-85's (with, you guessed it, a 85 mm gun in the turret). Along with the aforementioned US and Soviet tanks, the Panther eventually became one inspiration for the post-war "Main Battle Tank" concept, the other being the British Centurion. An upgraded Panther II was planned, but never entered production. [[File:Panther_Tank.jpg|thumb|left|300px|Zis vill do nicely! Danke!... Gott im Himmel, zat's a lot of Shermans!]]In recent years the tank has been associated with a phenomenon known as the "Panther Paradox" based on its general consensus as one of the wars best tanks. Essentially the tank itself, on paper, should vastly outclass the Sherman and T-34 in combat and isn't much more expensive to build compared to the Panzer IV, yet when looking at the actual performance the Panther performed horribly. The actual answer comes in the form of "hard" values and "soft" values."Hard" values are the typical stuff...Armor, speed, fire-power..."Soft" values are things like price, crew comfort, maintenance etc. While the Panther got top marks in the former, it was pretty terrible in the latter. The moral of the story kids is that what makes an effective weapon can't be narrowed down to a bunch of values you can put on the back of a cereal box.
* [[Tiger_1|'''Panzer VI Tiger:''']] Even before invading Russia and France, the generals of the Wehrmacht sent requests for a tank that could be called "heavy", that would be used in a "schwerpunkt" to crash any resistance and allow its' smaller brothers to exploit the breakthrough. The work on heavy tanks begun in 1937, but first prototypes were a far cry from a monster Nazis rolled out in 1942. The so-called "Durchbruchwagen" (Breakthrough tank), or DW for short, had many iterations, with many problems, such as faulty transmission, overloaded and unreliable chassis and failed unification with Pz.III (yes, that Pz.III, the medium tank, that was also developed in 1937-1938) lengthening the project significantly. It culminated in Typ 100 Leopard, a tank with a 100mm armor and 88mm gun, a project of which was completed in March 1941. However, the shock of encountering previously unknown Soviet KV-1s and T-34s spurred the actual implementation of heavy tanks as perceived German tank superiority was shattered. The Nazi top brass took this as a challenge to refine existing prototypes into the ultimate heavy tanks, and the result of said project were "the Big Cats". The first of these was the Panzerkampfwagen VI Tiger heavy tank, built essentially around Typ 100 turret and gun, which entered service in 1942 (yes, the Pz. V actually came out after the VI did). "Heavy" definitely described the Tiger: it weighed 54 tonnes, had a 690 hp engine, had up to 100mm of armor, could reach its 40 kph in good conditions to keep with the little guys and was armed with a hueg 88mm cannon that could take out a T-34 or Sherman from 2 kilometers with ease. In fact, it could do this to ''any tank the Allies would have at any point of the war'' from one kilometer away, barring IS-2s and Churchill VIIs. Despite this, the Tiger was over-engineered mechanically and somewhat under-designed chassis-wise. It was expensive, a drain on strategical resources and labor intensive to build, had reliability issues, and was [https://youtu.be/CVDDtbiGDxA?t=148 horribly maintenance-intensive one in the field]. Since the groundwork for the Tiger was laid out pre-Barbarossa, it did not implement the sloped armor concept of the T-34, which made the Tiger heavier and slower than it could have been for the same armor effectiveness. In short, it was essentially an upgraded Pz. IV and therefore a [[Metal Boxes|metal box]]. Only 1,347 Tigers were built, but they did have an effect on Allied morale. In one instance a single Tiger destroyed most of the 22nd Armoured Brigade and forced them to retreat (Battle of Villers-Bocage). The Tiger is without a doubt the most famous tank of WWII, known even to those illiterates who think WWII was only fought between America and Germany, and if most video games are to be believed, every Nazi tank was a Tiger. That is, however, somewhat understandable given just how often allied tankers yelled 'Tiger' whenever they lost a tank, even to a regular Pz IV (which could be mistaken for a Tiger at a distance). The Tiger and Panther tanks, like a used car, came with an owner's manual (the Tigerfibel and Pantherfibel, respectively), and Heinz Guderian (great German general with an ego that would make MacArthur seem modest, who wrote memoirs that are both very good as a literature and very bad as a primary source) wanted every tank crew to read the manual. But even back then, people understood just how few guys actually read the instruction manual for anything. So it was written as a fun book to read, with humor, poetry, and naked girls alongside the information about how to use two of the most famous heavy tanks to be fielded in WWII.
* [[Tiger_II|'''Tiger II:''']] The Tiger II, sometimes known as the King Tiger (from an incorrect translation of ''Königstiger'', meaning "Bengal Tiger", but which literally translates to "Royal Tiger"), was the ultimate German tank, and introduced in 1944 as a successor to the Tiger. It weighed 68.5 tonnes (more than most modern tanks) and had 150mm of frontal armor, which was even sloped (a huge step forward from the boxy Tiger I)! Even so, between limited resources and an increasingly bombed-out industrial base, only 492 of these behemoths rolled off the assembly line before the war ended. These tanks were considered to be just as temperamental as the Tiger I, but for different reasons. The designers learned how to fix some of the problems with the Tiger I, and promptly over-built the Tiger II even more after patching the holes, because they thought they had wiggle room or something. It was damn near unkillable, but a fuel guzzler to the extreme, barely maneuvable and prone to mechanical failures of almost any kind. Some historians argue that the King Tiger only had an effective use as a propaganda piece and little else since the added size and weight often made maintaining the tank a nightmare and reliability aside (which as mention were already terrible). In the best conditions there was often a 50/50 chance they would even show up to fight, and in bad conditions you would be lucky if any made it. Interesting fact: since Nazis were famous for constantly overcompensating, the first proposal of mounting a monstrous 8.8 cm Flak with a barrel 71 calibre long, that was ultimately made into 8.8 cm KwK 43 (the one Tiger II rocks), on a tank dates back to 21st of June, 1941, even before the invasion of the Soviet Union!
*'''Anything they could steal:''' From French [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Char_B1#Operational_history B1 heavy tanks] to Soviet [http://www.achtungpanzer.com/panzerkampfwagen-t-34r-soviet-t-34-in-german-service.htm T-34's] to American [http://beutepanzer.ru/Beutepanzer/us/M4_sherman/m4-75-sherman-01.htm Shermans], the Nazis used everything they could get their hands on like Orks in clean uniforms (not that the Allies were any different: Soviets, for example, had several companies armed with Panzers V used as tank destroyers). This became so chronic that the British had a strong rule in place that said any tank which could not be repaired or salvaged was to be destroyed, so the Germans wouldn't pinch it. They deployed stolen tanks pretty much everywhere, and of every type; hell, even Renault FT-17s were used in police roles in some areas.
**[['''Panzer 38(t)|Panzer 35(t) and 38(t):''']] the most famous tanks the Nazi <s>stole</s> were supplied with by puppet governments all across Europe were the PZ 35(t) and 38(t). Light tanks, both were Czech designs (hence the (t) for ''tschechisch'') Germany acquired when they took over first the Sudetenland, and then the rest of Czechoslovakia. While very useful early in the war, the designs were rendered obsolete by 1942 (they simply couldn't compete against a T-34), and the chassis was instead used to produce Marder 2 and Hetzer tank destroyers. A version of the 38(t), called the Stridsvagn m/41, was also used by Sweden. [[Katanas are Underpowered in d20|The vehicle's Czech steel was lower-quality than German stock.]]

====Tank Destroyers/Assault Guns====
Between the First and Second World Wars, various nations were still trying to figure out what good designs were for armored vehicles and how to use them in general. The Germans were the most successful, creating "Panzer divisions", a small armies in of themselves, but everyone knows about those. However, Nazi military theorists realized that lowly grunts also required some armored support. Enter the brainchild of Erich von Manstein (at least officially), the Assault Guns. In 1936, he wrote a letter to the top brass about the need of ''Begleitartillerie'', accompanying artillery, moving into battle in infantry formations and sending 6 kg shells at any machine or field gun that may interrupt the advance. The initial concept was to stick a huge gun (too big to put in a proper turret with then available technology) onto a Pz III chassis with a fixed casemate and open top (this was later changed) to allow the heavy gun to be moved around easily. Think like the [[Vindicator]]. The idea was approved, and the work on ''Panzerselbstfahrlafette III'' (quite a mouthful) begun with gusto. While primarily designed to bust fortifications, demands for Pz.Sfl. III specified the ability to take on all types of existing armor at the distance of 500m. After being officially approved for production, they received the name of [[Stug_III|StuG III]]. During the battle they usually engaged the enemy from the second line, where their limited firing arc wasn't such a big problem, and were universally praised both by infantrymen and their own crews. It all changed in 1941 with the encounter of [[T-34]]. The need to stop well-armoured tanks assaulting in mass shifted from theoretical into practical problem. StuGs had to be upgunned, uparmored, and other, dedicated anti-tank vehicles had to be designed and built. The main difference between Assault Guns and Tank Destroyers was their affiliation: the former belonged to the artillery, the latter were part of the Panzer corps, which sometimes lead to political disputes like Guderian's temper tantrum about getting Hetzers. Starting with lighter Panzerjäger tank destroyers as a stopgap measure, later in the war, Germany replaced them with big heavy tank destroyers, with thick armor and guns big enough to make an ork blush with envy, and labeled the class "''Jagdpanzer''" (hunter-tank). Panzerjäger of both types had the advantage of being cheaper and simpler to make than turreted tanks, and having lower silhouettes that allowed for easier ambushes. Plus it was easy to convert an otherwise out of date, under-gunned tank into a destroyer. The disadvantage was, of course, that they had no turrets, so they could be outflanked and had no way to point their guns at any targets that did not drive in front of them short of turning the entire tank around. Performance of StuGs and its' descendants was such a huge success the Nazis actually pondered the idea of making them the mainstream of Panzer divisions even in 1943 (however, Panzer IV/70 (A) which was indented for this role was labeled "unfit for frontline service"). Nevertheless, the turretless constructions meant that they were sacrificing much needed flexibility in the field, especially during bad weather or in difficult terrain, and the advantage of being able to built more tanks quickly becomes irrelevant if you're not losing them in the thousands yearly, so every major power in the post-45 world order didn't want to bother with it, especially since the British Centurion MBT showed the world for the first time that a tank could reliably perform all roles that were previously assigned to a variety of models. Only Germany kept some Tank Destroyers around after the war (the Kanonenjagdpanzer) and even that was thoroughly outclassed once self-directing ammunition like TOW missiles became available.
*'''Panzerjäger I''': Remember that little note in the Panzer 1's description on how it was repurposed? Well, this is the end result. What basically amounts to a Panzer I with its turret taken off and a casemate installed instead, it had a nice 4.7cm anti-tank gun but was relatively weak otherwise. There were no vision slits in the casemate, meaning that in order to aim, the crew had to peek over the top and get themselves shot in the head (a pressing issue in particular for Anti-Tank battalion 643).
*'''Marder:''' The Marder 1, 2, and 3 were all very similar tank destroyers, hence why they share a listing. The Marder 1 is based on the chassis of the French Lorraine 37L tractor, the Marder 2 is based off the Panzer II chassis, and the Marder III is based of off the Panzer 38(t) (the "T" means it was Czech in origin, not that it weighed 38 tons). All three were open topped and armed with either 7.5 cm cannons or converted Soviet 76 mm cannons they stole early in their invasion of USSR. At the start of Operation Barbarossa, German tanks were again under-gunned and -armed compared to their enemies, especially when compared to the T-34 (which one German field marshal quipped was the best tank in the world in 1941). But, like the battle for France, the Germans alone in the world had an actual understanding how to use tanks most effectively and were thus able to make massive advances anyway through superior tactical coordination. Still, a better anti-tank weapon was needed, so the Marders were created and armed with 7.5 cm weapons (although there were never enough of them, so they would revert to using Russian guns).
*'''Wespe''' and '''Hummel''': The Wasp and Bumblebee, respectively, and both with a nasty sting. Both were re-purposed tank chassis, but sporting artillery howitzers instead of AT guns (Which makes them technically self-propelled artillery instead of assault guns, but in the end it's a huge gun on tracks so fuck that noise!) the Wespe was based off the Panzer II and sported a 105mm 'light' howitzer; the Hummel was based on a modified Panzer III chassis and sported a 150mm howitzer. They're the real-life equivalents of (and probably the inspiration behind) the Imperial Guard's [[Basilisk Artillery Gun]].
*'''Hetzer''': Repurposed Panzer 38(t) with a casemate-mounted 75mm gun. A nice late-war re-design and a dangerous opponent since its small chassis and decent speed made it easy to get in position for a good ambush, and its gun was strong enough to take on any allied medium tank. Notorious for being an absolutely awful thing to be in, the interior was cramped to the point of farce and ergonomics were very poor. The chassis was overworked too, so mechanical breaks were constant. The Hetzer had some armour, but couldn't slug it out with the late-war tanks. Despite all this, it was adored by German grunts, because having an artillery gun at your side is always better than not having it.
*'''Nashorn''': Also called '''Hornisse''', this was a Marder-like tank-destroyer, with a chassis specially designed to mount the fearsome "Acht-acht" 88mm gun. Just like the Marders it was open-topped, but the huge range of its gun made it a dangerous opponent. The Germans later experimented with even bigger guns (105mm and 128mm) mounted like this, but those vehicles proved simply too heavy and impractical to use, so they did not evolve beyond a couple of prototypes.
*'''StuG III & IV''': By far the most widely produced German vehicle of WWII, the Stug was easily one of the most versatile combat platforms fielded in the war(And famous in Panzer General series for easily knocking out Russian tanks). StuG's, or "''Sturmgeschütz''" or "''assault artillery''", were built to combat a problem Germany learned from the first world war: that infantry lacked the ability to take on fortifications, and the artillery was too slow to keep up to allow direct fire on these targets. The StuG was the solution: by mounting a 7.5 cm <s>howitzer</s> [https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sturmgesch%C3%BCtz_III gun] in a fixed casemate on a Panzer III chassis, they allowed the vehicle to roll up with the infantry and blow any fortifications in the way to rubble. Of course during the invasion of the Soviet Union the Germans ran into tanks much better than their existing vehicles, namely KV-1s and T-34. In order to quickly counter these threats, the StuG was "up-gunned" (quote marks are there because the guns caliber did not change), to mount a high-velocity 7.5 cm anti-tank gun. In 1943, the StuG chassis was changed from a Panzer III's to a Panzer IV's, otherwise no changes were made. StuG's, despite looking like and being compared to tanks, were not considered tanks, and were crewed by artillery men. StuG's are estimated to have destroyed 20,000 enemy tanks in the course of the war, impressive when you consider that just over 10,000 were made, and not all of those were armed with actual anti-tank weapons. After the war, the Soviets gave a number of captured tanks to Syria where they were used up to 1960s. In a funny twist of irony, some of those ended up in Israeli hands during the Six-Day-War and remain on display in Tel Aviv today. (There was a self-propelled-gun with a an actual howitzer, too: the StuH 42.)
*'''Sturmpanzer:''' Known commonly to the Allies as the ''Brummbär'' (Grouch), this infantry support gun was based on the Panzer IV chassis. It mounted a 15cm mortar-sized direct-fire cannon, which fired a combined shell-charge weighing in at over 100lbs, designed to make infantry and buildings explode.
*'''Ferdinand/Elefant''': To put the Ferdinand into perspective, this is a tank that even Hitler though was too complex, too unreliable, and too theoretically advanced to use. The Ferdinand is the result of a contest between two of Nazi Germany's top companies, Porsche and Henschel (both of which still exist today), to produce a heavy tank that could use the 8.8 cm gun. The initial plan was to produce both tanks simultaneously, with contracts to make a "small" series of 100 tanks for both participants signed with Krupp on the same day of 22th of July, 1941. Both Tigers (P) and (H) had A LOT of problems, but due to unclear reasons even before final tests conducted in November 1942 came the order to stop production of Porsche version. That's why, despite losing the contract, Porsche had 90 Porsche Tiger hulls laying around, though he couldn't make more as he lacked production lines of his own. It was decided to turn those unused Tiger P prototypes into tank destroyers, and so they bolted even more armor on and added a fixed super structure for the gun, and thus the Ferdinand (named humbly after Porsche himself) was born. The Ferdinand was a troubled vehicle: rather than one engine, its immense bulk required two, and thanks to poor ventilation they often overheated. Bizarrely, the two engines did not even connect to the drive train (possibly because of issues keeping the two engines synchronized without modern computer control), and were instead connected to a set of electric generators that in turn powered a pair of electric motors. That's right, in 1942, the Nazi's built a 65 ton gas-electric, hybrid-powered tank destroyer, good for the environment maybe (but not actually, because the primitive technology just made the combo even less efficient), but maintenance for the thing was a nightmare worse than the Tiger. The concept of Diesel-Electrical propulsion is not even as advanced for the time as many people think; the Soviets had developed such an engine for a locomotive in 1924, the German U-Boats used the same technology for their underwater propulsion system (Diesel Engines charging a large set of batteries that drove an electric motor when underwater) and Porsches own patent for this system date back as far as 1896. The only innovation was that it was the first time this concept was implemented in an armoured vehicle. And before we forget, it did not have a machine gun. To be honest, it wouldn't have been that much of a deal (StuG-IIIs didn't have a machine gun until December 1942, for example) if Guderian hadn't used them as heavy tanks (he even calls them "Porsches' Tigers" in his memoirs), and even then out of 39 Ferdinands lost during Battle of Kursk only 4 were confirmed to be burned down by Molotov cocktail, and in 3 cases they were damaged either by mines or artillery shells before that. It had one hell of a gun, however: 8.8 cm Pak 43 could destroy any Allied tank at distances exceeding 2000 meters. In 1943, all 48 remaining operational tanks were converted to have a machine gun, more armor, anti-magnetic zimmerite paste coatings, and a commander's cupola. The modified tanks were named Elefants. Overall, more Ferdinands were destroyed by their own crews after their tracks or suspensions were damaged by mines or artillery fire and tanks themselves could not be towed back to a repair base than were lost to enemy fire. Before we forget, the Elefants were also then sent to fight in Italy. The tank known for its serious engines issues. To a country known for its mountainous terrain. They did not last long. Maybe it is the inspiration for the Shadowsword Imperial Guard superheavy.
*'''Jagdpanzer IV''': A Panzer IV chassis mounting a long-barrelled 75mm gun in a casemate mount. Worked generally very well, the low silhoutette being a great advantage it had over comparable tanks, but had some notable downsides too: The inclusion of additional armour and the long 75mm KwK from the Panther strained the Panzer IV chassis to the absolute limit, limiting range and mechanical reliablity. The extra armour and long gun also the tank particularly nose heavy, making it a bitch to drive and limiting its manuverability, nevermind being almost unable to make steep descends without bumping the gun on something, a problem tanks with a similar nose-heavy loadout like the Russian T-34 and SU-85 also had.
*'''Jagdpanther''': A Panther chassis mounting a long-barrelled 88mm gun in a casemate mount. Arguably the best "Jagd-" model combining decent mobility, decent protection and a very powerful gun.
*'''Jagdtiger''': Tiger II chassis outfitted with a long-barrelled 128mm (!) naval gun. Pure overkill, and ultimately a poorly-performing design. To put it in perspective, the M1 ''Abrams'' TODAY has a smaller and shorter 120mm cannon, even if most of its armor busting power comes from the fact it fires modern (and far more deadly) sabot rounds. Even back then, two of the most effective AT guns of the war were the German ''Acht-Acht'' 88mm gun and the British 76.2mm ''17 pounder'' gun; both much smaller, lighter and with a better rate of fire than this 128mm monster. No warmachine used on the frontline called for such a massive gun to be dealt with in World War II (save perhaps for the Soviets's [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IS_tank_family IS heavy tanks], which were designed to be have armor good enough to stand up to 88mm AT gun fire, but ironically the Jagdtiger only served on the western front make it a moot point) and even the fact it could double up as artillery support in a pinch didn't make up for the fact it was just too big and unwieldy and slow-firing a gun to deal with tanks. Add to that, a tank with a 128mm main gun is especially stupid when your enemies on both sides favored zerg rushes of Sherman and T-34's medium tanks respectively, much lighter vehicles that could reliably be taken out by much smaller guns. While anticipating future enemy capabilities is important in wartime weapon development, pretty much no one was working on a vehicle sufficiently armored to warrant this firepower (excluding absurd Super-heavy design studies like the American T28/T30 and T95 or the British Tortoise), unless it was intended to fire on battleships from the shore—and firing from a stationary coastal-defense position probably would be for the best, because even at its crawling pace, going off-road tended to knock the gun out of alignment and require it to be recalibrated before firing again, so good luck with flanking maneuvers. The nicest thing that could be said about it was that it was great for shooting at enemy tanks hiding behind buildings, because it would shoot straight through building and tank alike. (Seriously, read Otto Carius' memoirs. His opinion on these is as first-hand as it is scathing.)
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On a sidenote:
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One could reasonably point out that the Russians weren't much better in that regard, since they too threw a couple of 'overcompensated' tanks/assault guns into the fray over the course of WWII: The KV-2 sported a 152mm howitzer in a gigantic (and horribly impractical) turret, and the SU-152 and ISU-152 were also equipped casemate-mounted 152mm howitzers (basically, the only difference is that the SU was based on the KV chassis and the ISU on the IS chassis). The difference here is that these vehicles had been designed for infantry support (and demolishing ''festungs''), making the huge gun just mobile enough to keep up with the grunts and chucking high explosive death at the enemy from medium/long range instead of blasting other tanks to smithereens. This doesn't mean they couldn't: indeed the ISU-152 was effective enough in that regard to be nicknamed the ''Zveroboy'' (''Beast Killer'' in Russian, which it inherited from the SU-152), but being able to blast a Tiger on its back was merely a handy bonus. Add to that the low-velocity 152mm howitzer was a good 30% lighter than the massive PaK 80; resulting in lighter, more compact, and more mobile vehicles overall once they realized trying to mount a huge howitzer in a turret wasn't such a good idea after all. All the Russians did was switch the unwieldy 152's for lighter 85's, 100's and 122's to make actual tank destroyers.
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*[[File:Sturmtiger.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Contrary to what it might looks like, this is not a mock-up of a 40k [[Vindicator]] but a real combat vehicle.]]'''Sturmtiger''': The Sturmtiger is one of the most striking example of Nazi "mad genius" given form, to the point that this assault gun could almost belong in the "Wunderwaffe" section. As you can see from the picture, it looks like a [[Vindicator]], which is not a coincidence: both vehicles' role is to rumble up to a strongpoint and obliterate it with extreme firepower. Very quickly, the Germans realized that fortifications were a major pain in their Aryan butts to deal with and that static artillery was too slow and vulnerable to keep up with their ''Blitzkrieg'' attacks. So at first they relied on airplanes and Pz.IVs and StuGs, but as their opponents started to contest the skies and howitzers on both tanks and self-proppeled artillery had to be replaced with AT guns to stem an endless tide of T-34s, the problem of bunker-busing raised its' head once again. The Sturmtiger... The Sturmtiger is what you get when the point where you should have stopped putting bigger, larger guns on tracks is long passed, yet one still keeps going... and somehow manages to make it work. Starting as a direct response to Soviet SU-152 (there's even an urban legend about some German general looking at it and going "I want this, but BIGGER") and based off of the Tiger 1 chassis, it sported a [[bolter|''380mm gun/rocket launcher'']] [[awesome|''adapted from a Kriegsmarine depth-charge launcher'']] as its main gun; [[wat|and only because the 210 mm howitzer they intended to use first wasn't available]]. Although it sported a gun that could obliterate anything in front of it, the Sturmtiger suffered the same problems as the Tiger itself. Overbuilt drivetrain, maintenance-intensive and prone to breakdown ''Schachtellaufwerk'' tracks to keep ground pressure tolerable, and an underpowered engine. On top of that, the rocket was so powerful that in order to not break the barrel of the gun or kill the crew, the exhaust gasses from launching the depth-charge rocket had to be vented out of a number of tubes that went back up the barrel.
*'''Flakpanzer IV''': Tanks whose main gun had been replaced with one (or more) anti-aircraft guns. With the Luftwaffe having been squandered by inability to adapt to changes (i.e. realize that ''maybe'' it should have switched priorities to defending the Fatherland before the latter half of 1943), the Germans came up with these SPAAGs in other to try to defend themselves from all those nasty american ''Jabos'' (German shorthand for fighter-bomber) making their lives hell. Didn't really work, because towards the end of the war the ground attack aircraft had become too fast to be engaged reliably by guns relying on human eyes to acquire and follow their target. They were, however, [[rape|murder on tracks]] when facing infantry and lightly armored ground targets. Four Variants were made, all based on the ever-reliable Panzer IV chassis:
**'''Möbelwagen''': Odd looking thing that more or less was an armoured AA-emplacement on a tank; when deployed, the crew would fold down the "walls" of the open topped fixed turret with a 3.7 cm AA-gun on top of it. Needless to say, it didn't offer any significant improvement over existing and far more simple AA-vehicles which consisted of little more than an armoured truck with the gun in a trailer.
**'''Wirbelwind''': Perhaps the most iconic of the four, it massively improved the design by adding an again open-topped turret that could be turned almost as fast as a regular AA-gun on its mounting. Armed with a quadruple 2-cm FlaK 38 and 105 being built, it was ultimately the most common variant of the Flakpanzer IV.
**'''Ostwind''': The last Flakpanzer IV to be put into serial production. The turret remained pretty much the same from the Wirbelwind, although the introduction of a single 3.7-cm FlaK 43 made one of the two loaders on the Wirbelwind obsolete and a hydraulic turning mechanism pumped its turning speed up to 60 per second. Its prototype partook in the Battle of the Bulge and returned back home undamaged. 47 were completed by the end of the war.
**'''Kugelblitz''': Similar deal to the Typ XXI U-boats, the Kugelblitz was the peak of military engineering for its time that remained unsurpassed until computer-guided tracking systems and heat-seeking missiles revolutionized ground-based Anti-Air weaponry. The Kugelblitz utilized a fully enclosed, roughly ball-shaped turret with two 3-cm-MK 103 borrowed from the Me 262 fighter plane that were fed by belt instead of magazines or clips like the FlaK guns before. The shape of the turret, combined with an improved version of the hydraulic turning mechanism of the Ostwind made for an incredibly deadly package that could cover the airspace above it completely and inspired many imitators after the war. That being said, the 37mm AA gun was really showing its age and post war AA guns went for either high caliber autocannons or rotary guns. Only 5 prototypes were made by the end of the war, one of which actually saw combat in Thuringia, where a direct hit by a bomb blasted its turret off into a forest, where it was recovered in 1999.

===Halftracks and Armoured Cars===
*'''Kfz 13''': One of the first projects of the German armament programs that started after Hitler started to outright ignore the conditions of the Versailles treaty. Very much a stopgap solution based on a civilian car, the Adler Standard 6. Some of them partook in the invasions of Poland and France and were relegated to training purposes shortly after.
*'''Einheits-PKW''': A German take on the US army jeep, general purpose cars meant for transporting officiers and reconnaissance. Existed in three weight classes. Became redundant after the introduction of the Kübelwagen, who could do everything an Einheits-PKW could do for cheaper and also could be made into an amphibic vehicle with only minor modifications. The heavy Einheits-PKW served as the basis for the wheeled armoured reconnaissance tank Sd.Kfz 221.
*'''Leichter Panzerspähwagen Sd.Kfz. 221/222/223''': The 221 was the standard reconnaissance vehicle of the Wehrmacht in the early days of the war. Open topped and armed with an MG 34, its weak armor of only 25 millimeters, as well as its armament proved insufficient during the French campaign. The vehicles would be refitted with the 2-cm autocannon from the Panzer II and designated as Sd.Kfz. 222. Leading vehicles would be equipped with high-capacity radios instead of any armament and designated as Leichter Funkwagen 223.
*'''Schwerer Panzerspähwagen Sd.Kfz 231/232/233''': The heavy alternative to the 222. A six (or eight)-wheeled tank whose development already started when the Weimar Republic was still alive and well. It was the primary reconnaisance vehicle for the tank divisions. The different designations refer to the armament, a 231 was armed with two MG 15 in a Panzer I turret, the 232 with a high-capacity radio and the 233 with the short-barreled 7.5-cm tank guns from the earlier versions of the Panzer IV and the StuG III.
*'''Schwerer Panzerspähwagen Sd.Kfz 234 "Puma"''': A completely new wheeled tank, where the major improvement over the older 231s and 222s was that they were designed around being tanks instead of armoured cars. The first serially produced version, the 234/2 was armed with the long 5 cm-tank gun from the Panzer III in the turret of the never realized Leopard reconnaissance tank, later versions were open topped due to material shortages. This gave the vehicles firepower unprecedented for such a light vehicle and often lead to crews to take the fight to the enemy instead of scouting, with mixed results.
*'''Mittlerer Schützenpanzerwagen Sd.Kfz. 251''': The standard APC of the Wehrmacht throughout the entire war. A design so flexible that it could easily be used in just about any role any commander wanted it to serve with tons of variants of it existing. In the standard configuration, it could carry 10 men plus equipment in an open topped chassis. An innovation over competing APCs of the time was that Soldiers could enter and leave the vehicle quickly through a door in the back. The 251 was originally supposed to form the backbone of the Panzergrenadier divisions to provide infantry support to tanks in a vehicle quick enough and armoured to deliver them directly into the fray, but the lack of industrial capacity as well as the complicated Schachtellaufwerk of its tracks limited their production rates. The later years of the war saw the 251 relegated to an absurd number of combat roles, from light SPAAG with a 2-cm-FlaK 36, AT gun carrier and even Infrared night vision reconnaissance. One of the more successful vehicles of the German Army in general, with 15.000 of them being built throughout the entirety of the war.

===Airplanes===
* '''Messerschmitt Bf 109:''' The Luftwaffe's mainstay fighter through WWII. Work began on the project shortly after Hitler came to power in 1933, the first prototype flew in 1935 and it entered service in 1937, seeing action in the Spanish Civil War. It is also the most produced fighter of all time, with nearly 34,000. The variants of the 109 and the Spitfire competed with each other throughout the war for the title of "World's Best Fighter" as they were both continually upgraded. The 109 was small, very fast, a good turner (early on), a god tier climber, and was inexpensive to produce and maintain. The 109's speed and climb rate made it a top tier energy fighter in the early stages of the war. That said it was also short ranged and as the war progressed it gradually showed it's age, gradually loosing manuverability as it's engine power was increased.
[[File:Fw190d9jv 1.jpg|thumb|right|250px|When the Nazis applied their sense of style to aerospace engineering, the result was the Fw 190D-9, the second sexiest son of a bitch in the sky, second only to the SR-71]]
* '''Messerchmitt Bf 110:''' The archetype of the Luftwaffe's "destroyer" concept, and a flying monument to hubris and doubling down on bad decisions. In the late 1930s, German engineers believed that the limitations of engine technology gave multi-engine bombers an unbeatable speed advantage over single-engine fighters. Thus, this beast: a fast, twin-engined air superiority fighter armed with heavy cannons and defensive machine guns. "Destroyers" never worked particularly well in their intended role, being handily outmaneuvered by even early-war Allied fighters. Although the very concept was flawed, Bf 110s and other "destroyers" soldiered on throughout the war, in large part because Hermann Goering had a massive hard-on for them. It also helped that the planes' large airframes were well-suited to other roles besides air superiority; "destroyers" could be converted into effective tactical bombers or night-fighters, when equipped with early radar sets.
* '''Junkers Ju 87:''' Probably the airplane used by the Nazis any random person is going to know about due to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQzv-8pJSqY the highly-distinctive sound of its ram-air sirens called Jericho trumpets produced] as it dived in for an attack run - whether intentionally or not depending on how stringently the media this person watched actually portrays the Ju 87 or if they're just using its cool sound. The Ju 87 or "Stuka" as it was also known as (short for ''Sturzkampfflugzeug'' which is the German word for dive bomber) was a dive bomber that quickly became a symbol of German air power in the beginning of the war and was a key part of Germany's initial Blitzkrieg victories. A novel design, it was equipped with automatic pull-up dive brakes to ensure the aircraft recovered from its attack dive even if its pilot blacked out and wouldn't have been a feasible concept at all if its cabin wasn't pressurized and without a lot of other pilot protection advancements since only 2 g (Stuka pilots going in and out of a dive went through 8 or 9 g) could have killed a pilot in an unpressurized cabin. The Stuka proved to be so iconic that its nickname was lend to another piece of German military hardware - the Wurfrahmen 40 multiple rocket launcher became known as the "Walking Stuka". However, as the war went on and Allied air superiority became the rule of almost every battle, the Stuka wasn't really produced any more by the end of the war as it was absolutely helpless against the many Allied fighters filling the air (though there were occasions that the Stuka got to bomb things like it was 1939 again when the Allied ground units outpaced the airfield requirements of their air support).
** By the way, the Jericho trumpets were attached to the plane for psychological warfare purposes and while it ''was'' pretty certain that ground units hearing the Jericho trumpets did indeed shit themselves and dived for cover, the usefulness of them were debatable considering they produced drag on the aircraft and provided an advance warning sound for ground troops to get down (and the helpfulness of getting down was why [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_On_Target Time On Target] artillery coordination was developed) - though if nothing else, the trumpets provided audible feedback on the plane's speed for its pilot.
* '''Focke-Wulf Fw 190''': When first introduced, the Fw 190 was hands-down the best fighter on the planet, due mostly to its very powerful radial engine. The 190A-3 was rocking 1,700 horsepower at a time when the Spitfire V had 1,450. As the war dragged on, BMW failed miserably to improve the engine and the 190 dropped in effectiveness until it was given a completely new engine in the Dora variant. The 190 was horrifically fast at low altitude, had extremely powerful armament, outstanding high speed handling, and had the best roll rate of any plane in the war. However, it was a very poor turner. This set of attributes made the 190 one of the best "boom and zoom" fighters, going toe to toe with Mustangs and Thunderbolts but once again falling victim to shit production, just as the Russians started getting [[Dakka|P-39 Airacobras]] from America that could take on anything the Nazis had as long as the fight was below 12,000'.
* '''Fieseler Fi 156 Storch''': A product of the early, successful parts of the war, the Storch was a dedicated observation plane for forward air control. It was unique for its '''EXTREMELY''' low stall speed of 31 mph which even in the 21st century is still impressive for a two seater and almost 25% lower than the American equivalent (the Piper Cub). The design continued in production well into the 60's in France and the USSR; modern replicas using even lighter, stronger materials are capable of flight with a takeoff run of as little as 30 meters. Its capabilities for close support were illustrated best during the final days of the war, when famed pilot Hanna Reitsch landed one on a building-lined street in Berlin and then successfully got it airborne again.
[[File:HE111Z.JPG|thumb|left|150px|One of Germany's attempts at packing enough dakka in explosive form]]
*'''Heinkel He 111''': The main German bomber from beginning to end, it was developed in the 1930s; the Nazis called it a high speed passenger aircraft to get around the Treaty of Versailles. It was first put to its real use in the Spanish Civil War. The He 111 was a twin engine medium bomber, cheap to make and maintain and able to carry up to 3,600 kilos of bombs. Early on it performed very well and was one of the most effective bombers in the world but after 1941 the British and Americans began building larger and longer ranged four engine bombers like the Lancaster and the Flying Fortress in large quantities. The german engineers had a plan to counter these with an enhanced version of the HE 111 called the HE 111-Z that consisted of two 111 fuselages fused together on a central wing (which is just as retardedly awesome and awesomely retarded as it sounds) therefore gathering twice the bombs and weaponry of a regular bomber while being powered by 5 engines. They did manage to make it fly but it remained a prototype. Note: Actually it was suppose to be used as a glider tug for the massive Messerschmitt ME-321 Gigant cargo glider and the proposed Junkers JU-322 Mammut.

*'''Heinkel He 177 "Greif"''': The only heavy bomber the Germans were fielding and the perfect counterexample for people who cannot stop blabbering about supposed German technical superiority. An obvious idiotic design, that attempted to combine the concepts of a heavy long-range bomber similar to the British Halifax or the American B-17 with the dive-bomb-capabilities of the Stuka. To that end, the plane was made deliberately heavier and had for two engines, that were actually four that drove two propellers. Even though it became obvious very quickly that the concept of a heavy-dive-bomber was impossible, the Germans kept building them, which only revealed much more pressing concerns with de design, the notable of which was that the engine cooling system never worked right and guzzled coolant at very high rates. When the coolant ran out, the engines spontaneously combusted. German pilots loathed the damn thing so much, they gave it grim nicknames like "Burning coffin" and "Imperial Torch". When it didn't burst into flames, it was an alright plane, but mostly used for short-range reconnaissance flights, supplying the trapped 6th army in Stalingrad, naval bombing, and eventually retired in 1944, when fuel shortages meant that they could no longer take off.

* '''Messerschmitt ME-163 Komet''': Before the Nazis mastered jet engines, they toyed around with rocket-based fighters instead. The Komet was a tiny, zippy little fighter plane, and the first plane to travel faster than 1000 kph. It was also the first and last rocket-powered fighter, as they only succeeded to shoot down about eighteen allied craft at the cost of ten crashed Komets. This was because despite being far faster than anything the allies could field, the komet proved very temperamental: it was difficult to control while building speed, its fuel dangerous to handle, its landing gear could bounce off and smack the plane, its cannons were too slow to keep up, and it was vulnerable as it glided back to earth. Still, for its time, it was the only fighter capable of threatening the allies' high-altitude bombers, until the ME-262 came about. The fuel, being hypergolic, had a nasty tendency to melt the test pilots, the plane itself, and pretty much everything it touched. Which, oddly enough, was still less of a OSHA hazard that what follows...
[[File:ME 262.jpg|thumb|left|200px|The ME-262: Nazi Germany's state of the art sky shark]]
* '''Ba 349 Natter''': The meaning of "double down" if Luftwaffe logistics was a poker game. Even crazier than the Komet, Natter was little more than a [[Grot Bomm Launcha]] with unguided rocket batteries up the nose. Adding to the madness was that it's designed to be built from unskilled labor, and wood. Yes, wood. Yes: the British Mosquito was made of wood, but the Mosquito was built by professionals with great care, and was not '''rocket powered!''' What's worse, its fuel was [https://www.science.org/content/blog-post/things-i-won-t-work-peroxide-peroxides T-Stoff] (a highly caustic solution of hydrogen peroxide and a stabilizing chemical) mixed with C-Stoff (a hydrazine hydrate/methanol/water mixture), combustion was spontaneous so extreme care was required to handle both chemicals; leave it to Nazis to use fuel made out of the second most dangerous and villainous compounds (See N-Stoff bellow for the stuff even they thought was crazy). The Walter motor generated about 1,700 kg (3,740 lb) of thrust but a loaded Ba 349A weighed more than 1,818 kg (4,000 lb) so liftoff required more power, like a rail launcher or catapult. Simply put, the design was fuck-nut retarded from scratch, killing every test pilot and canceled before it was used, not that a plane nearing the speed of sound made out of shitty wood firing unguided rockets wouldn't hit fuck-all.
* '''Messerschmitt ME-262''': The Me 262 was the world's first operational jet fighter and possibly the most advanced aircraft of all in WWII. It was very fast, able to achieve a speed of 900km/h (in comparison, a P51 Mustang had a top speed of about 700km/h) and carried four 30mm cannons. The latter was its most important feature because around that time, a single HE autocannon hit meant "instant death" for any aircraft facing them, forcing them to exploit 262's slow turning speed. Quality suffered due to a lack of high quality steel, which severely limited the shelf life of their engines to twelve hours. Even so, it was an effective against bombers. Much like every other advanced Nazi weapon, it arrived too late (in part due to delays involving the Nazi top brass-thank God for Hitler on not deciding whether it should be a tactical bomber or a fighter-) and in too few numbers to influence the course of the war, though it spurred development of jet aircraft on both sides of the Iron Curtain postwar. The Japanese built a rather similar jet fighter in the Nakajima Kikka, but that never got beyond prototype.
[[File:Heinkel He 162 CASM 2012 5.jpg|thumb|right|200px|The "Volksjäger" aka. "Spatz" or "Salamander". Tiny. Deadly.]]
*'''He-162''': With a max speed of 900 kph, 2 centerline 20mm cannons, and a 39 lbs/ft^2 wingloading, the He-162 was almost invincible in combat. Where the 262 was an interceptor, the He-162 was designed as a cheap, easy to build and fly air superiority fighter. It was also designed to be piloted by children. Developed as a Volksjäger (”people's fighter”) the He-162 was a last ditch design meant to be piloted by the high school aged Hitler Youth as Nazi Germany had almost completely run out of regular pilots at the time. Amazingly enough despite the incredibly short time between design and full production, it turned out to be a solid design; both cheap and easy to build (most of the frame was made of wood) and a dangerous opponent (allied testing after the war showed that a large number of them would have been a major pain in the rear to deal with). The only point where the "Spatz" didn't deliver was the 'easy to fly' part; like all early jet airplanes it required an experienced pilot at the stick and being able to bench press to just turn the damn thing (which was a problem to everyone until the lessons of the Korean War).

===Ships===
As a general rule, Hitler dumped most of money into the ''Heer'' (army) and ''Luftwaffe'' (air force), leaving the ''Kriegsmarine'' (navy) out in the cold, so to speak, so they were not overly fond of him. (Although Hitler realised he wouldn't be able to build up a navy to rival the English quickly so he prioritised planes and tanks over ships to seize land and industrial capacity at first, which kind of made sense, at least in his delusional dreams where Great Britain wouldn'thave dared to come to kick him in the balls if a war was to break out.) Hitler actually liked the Idea of a huge navy and passed Plan Z in 1937 which would have built a truly massive fleet to fight the Royal Navy in about 1945, as the building up to that point was designed to fight France, and predated the Nazi's rise to power.

Like so many of der Furher's calls, it is a controvertial matter and bound to create much [[skub| Skub]]: on one hand, german submarines proved to be a deadly asset in the Atlantic, wrecking havoc among the convoys directed to Britain and sinking more ships than all the Kriegsmarine's surface units combined, apparently giving credit to Admiral Dönitz idea of winning the war through the U-Boots, but on the other the felt lack of success from the aforementioned surface fleet was almost exclusively HIS fault and his fault alone as, for starters, he moved too fast with his plans of invasion like an impatient child on Christmas' morning and started the war before the navy had enough surface units ready to deploy, then [[What|he ordered the resources that were being poured into the construction of said ships to be directed towards other projects, including building tanks and airplanes]], ordering the construction to be halted and leaving Raeder with a severe shortage of materials and not enough ships to fight the british on equal terms or provide escorts to his capital ships (to give you an example of what a stupid idea that was, he ordered to stop working on the aircraft carrier Graf Zeppelin when it was about 85% complete, [[fail|and that could have saved a certain flagship's ass if it had been put into service]]) and then, for fear of losing the few ships he had, ordered the entire surface fleet to stay in port and not go out on sorties, and to put icing to the cake, he seemingly forgot all of the above and declared the surface fleet a complete failure because they weren't sinking enemy ships...without considering the fact that [[fail|HE and his orders were the reasons why his ships couldn't do anything]].

Overall, the utter incompetence and lack of knowledge about naval warfare of Hitler doomed the Kriegsmarine and left nobody happy: Dönitz ended up not having enough submarines to fight the long war and Raeder ended up with not enough ships to meet the Royal Navy head on, although the few ships that saw combat inflicted heavy blows to the enemy and left one hell of a mark in history, fighting against impossible odds and always at a disadvantage, but refusing to surrender or go down without putting on a remarkable resistance. Admittedly, it's easier to speak in favor of the Kriegsmarine due to a lack of major atrocities beyond unrestricted submarine warfare (also engaged in by Allied forces) and slave labor at a low rate compared to other forces. Raeder and Dönitz were no saints. It is however fair to say that their obedience to Hitler really fucked the navy over, hard.

* '''U-Boote''': U-Boote, which are shortened the version of the word "''Unterseeboot''" or "underwater boat", are submarines. They were used in devastating effect to cut off Britain from supplies from the outside world by having "wolfpacks" of U-boats patrol around shipping lanes and sink down any enemy ship they found. Their other uses involved seeking and destroying enemy battleships, placing automated weather stations all over the world (helpful for Kriegsmarine ships) and dropping off a substantial number of spies in Britain and even America, most of which got caught-and subsequently replaced by Loyal British spy's (read about some of the ways the British Bamboozled the Nazi's in world war 2 some of it, like the moment the Germans gave a British agent the Iron cross, is just hilarious). As a consequence of all this, they worked very well in the first years of the war, sinking huge (and i mean HUGE) numbers of ships with very few boats (only about 15 boats, at most, were out at sea at any given time in the first year or so). Being such an absolute pain in the arse, the British thus invested a fuckton of money and manpower into hunting and killing said U-boats, and finally got very, very good at it, through a combination of new technology, a [[Wikipedia:Western Approaches Command|massive information network]] for coordinating defenses, and [https://www.google.com/amp/s/paxsims.wordpress.com/2016/12/08/the-wargaming-wrens-of-the-western-approaches-tactical-unit/amp/ navy wargamers] [[awesome|developing new strategies to counter the U-Boats]]. Right when more and more U-boats were being produced, as German high command realized their potential, the British began sinking ever more of them (Example: in all of 1941, 35 boats were lost, in 1943, 244 boats were sunk, with 41 in May alone). Admiral Karl Dönitz loved the U-boats, and built one of the largest structures on earth (at the time) to house them: the German U-boat pens in captured France. U-boats were invented in the first world war, and there unrestricted campaign of sinking any ship, even those with US citizens on them (even after the German government made a very public warning to the US that boarding a ship to England was a very bad idea), that approached England led to the neutral though leaning allied American to join the first world war and for them to be the last straw on the German back to end it.
**'''''Typ VII''''': The most common type and with 703 ships in total also the most built submarine model in history. Generally well regarded as a very good design, it was rather nimble for its tonnage, was able to dive extremely quickly, and much more deeper than even the designers anticipated (U-95, the famous submarine from ''Das Boot'', reportedly sunk as deep as 290 meters after being hit by water bombs, and even though it was quite taxing on the ship itself, the crew survived in full and made it back to port). Its major downfall (as seems to be the norm with many Nazi equipment) was that it wasn't used in its intended role; the Typ VIIc submarines in particular weren't designed to operate as long away from a home port as they were ordered to do, and their firepower against anything larger than a merchant vessel was negligable. They were, at best, Torpedo boats that could also dive, and only the Fall of France even made it even possible for them in the first place to operate in the mid-Atlantic as they did, even tho their main theater was supposed to be the German sea and the Channel. Incompetent leadership as well as the afromentioned efforts of the British in fighting them lead to the Typ VII becoming obsolecent already by 1942 and a major bleed of trained Seamen and Naval officiers.
**'''''Typ IX''''': The Typ VII's bigger sister, and the actual ocean-going submarine of the Kriegsmarine. Much more spacious than the Typ VII, and designed to operate as far away as the ''fucking Indian Ocean''. Quite a few of them remained a considerable threat due to their elusiveness and extreme range; multiple Typ IXs made it as far as New York City and sunk convoys there. As is tradition, incompetent leadership fucked this type and their crews; Dönitz was notoriously iron-fisted about keeping the Typ VII wolfpacks in use and very narrow-minded as far as new technology goes. The Typ IX was for the task at hand superior to its smaller cousin in every way, but materiel shortages and limited Dockyards meant it was damned to take a step back behind the Typ VII.
**'''''Typ XXI''''': A technological marvel that came at the very end of the war, and too late to be used by the Nazis themselves, but these babies were by far the most advanced type of submarine devised at the time. Primarily designed to operate almost entirely under water and as trials with the finished ships by the allies after the war showed, more than capable of that. Typ XXI marks a significant shift in submarine doctrins across the globe, as it proved that Submarines were more than capable of operating far away from a port without needing any assistance and almost completely invisible. The modern nuclear submarines of the US and USSR are direct decendants of the Typ XXI for that very reason. Unfortunately for the Nazis and fortunately for everyone else they had serious problems in their construction as Albert Speer decided [[wat|to farm out hull construction to a steel bridge company to speed up production]] and they never scored a kill.
* '''''Gorch Fock''''': The first of a series of five ships built very early in Germany's rearmament program, when the Nazis were still uncertain what might provoke the allies. Not in any way a warship, these were sail tallships, the last, largest, and finest ever made (although their engine systems were designed to train sailors for operating U-Boats). After the war all the ships of the class were seized as war trophies, notably the ''Horst Wessel'' which was taken by the United States becoming the ''USCGC Eagle''. The modern day ''Gorch Fock'' of the Bundesmarine is a new ship built from the same plans in 1958 and remains a training vessel to this day.
* '''''Deutschland Class Cruiser''''': The archetypal battlecruiser, the ''Deutschlands'' were the first new large ships designed by Germany after the Treaty of Versailles, and were carefully designed to get the most out of a very liberal interpretation of what the treaty permitted. Fast and heavily armed, they were ideal for commerce raiding and all three were used in this role. Of the class, the ''Admiral Scheer'' had the most successful career, sinking the most shipping tonnage of any ship in WW2, while the ''Graf Spee'' would get in a shootout with three British cruisers and be forced to scuttle in the harbor of Montevideo.
* '''''Admiral-Hipper-Class Cruiser''''': A result of the British-German Treaty of 1935, supposed to cross the gap between the Bismarck-class battleships and the lighter Deutschland class. The most famous of these was the ''Prinz Eugen'', that accompanied the Bismarck on her fateful journey and remaining the only heavy German Warship that survived the war intact. The planners of the Kriegsmarine called for a design that was exceptionally sturdy, and the result fulfilled these expectations more than they could have imagined; after the war, it was towed away by the US Navy who used in the series of nuclear tests in American-Samoa, [[Wat|where it survived all three Hydrogen bomb blasts with only minor damages]], but it was so irradiated that the US towed it off the coast of the Bikini-Atoll. Here it sank, after the propellers had dislodged as a result of the nuclear blasts in 1946. Its wreck is still above the surface, since the water on the beach where the Prinz Eugen sank isn't very deep.
* '''''Bismarck and Tirpitz''''': <s>A pair of battleships with guns as big as steers and shells as big as trees. As well as inspiration for a Kickass Sabaton song </s> Memes aside, those were the largest ships built by any european power and two of the biggest in the World; although not the biggest (Yamato was heavier and around ten meters longer), or the ones with the most illustrious career (Warspite served and kicked asses in both World Wars), they were by far the deadliest and best battleships around during the war, so powerful and dangerous to make Winston Churchill himself shit his pants. Much of the materials around regarding them as "technologically outdated", "useless" or inferior to their contemporaries are just results of the heavy discrediting campaign the Allies came up with during and after the war, so that everyone would think that "anything built by Nazi Germany = inferior to anything american and british and thus worthless", when that couldn't be farther from the truth: the Bismarck fought, with only the heavy cruiser Prinz Eugen at his side, the battleship HMS Prince of Wales and the battlecruiser HMS Hood and [[awesome|literally one-shotted the Hood after just five minutes of combat by hitting her in the aft magazine, with subsequent explosion breaking the ship in half]] and killed everyone on her but 3, then pointed his guns on the Prince of Wales and mauled her badly enough to force her to withdraw; at that point, the Bismarck could have won the entire war for Germany. Alone. And that's for three simple reasons: A) Britain was already on the brink of starvation thanks to the german submarines and raiders, so a ship like the Bismarck left unchecked and free to hunt down convoys in the Atlantic for three months would have meant the UK would have been forced to surrender lest its population died for a lack of food; B) Hood had been always presented as the most powerful ship in the world and was the most loved ship of the Royal Navy; the fact that she had been sunk in an engagement where she technically had the upper hand in terms of power (since they were a battleship and a battlecruiser against a battleship and a heavy cruiser, even though the Bismarck and the Prinz Eugen were more modern) was an extremely heavy blow to the already strained british morale, that started raising questions on the ability of the Royal Navy to actually counter the germans ambitions at sea; C) the Royal Navy lacked a ship powerful enough to confront the Bismarck in battle, not without the numbers on its side. It should be no surprise then, that Churchill ordered every available ship to chase the Bismarck and destroy it with every possible mean, resulting in a fleet of more than 60 SHIPS searching the Atlantic to destroy him (and before you ask, yes, it is the biggest naval formation ever assembled to hunt down a single ship), that after three days of hunting managed to track him down, cripple him and then have a 5v1 engagement in which the Bismarck was shelled without mercy, [[awesome|yet still refused to sink]]. They tried torpedoes. [[awesome|And he still didn't sink]]. In the end it was the Bismarck's own crew to scuttle him, since they had no way of fighting back after the beating the ship had taken. All the while the Tirpitz proved to be another real bitch to kill, just like his big brother: after the Bismarck sinking, the Tirpitz received reinforced deck armor, even more advanced systems and a shitload more of AA guns to fight off enemy aircrafts and she was be considered so much of a threat that the british admiralty was forced to keep three King George V Class battleships at Scala Flow at any time and the americans had to send the Iowa, the Washington and the Alabama in case "The Beast", as Churchill called her, decided to move. After ship attacks failed to damage her, the RAF spent an entire year attacking her, but without results, forcing them to use almost [[what|6 tonnes bombs]] (the Tallboy) to destroy her, [[awesome|but the Tirpitz survived even these]], until november 1944, when one of said bombs hit one of the ship's magazines and finally sunk it. The only real "flaws" of the ships were the three propellers system that made them difficult to maneuver at low speed and impossible if one of the rudders was to be destroyed, and the fact they were so massive that there were very few facilities capable of hosting them; in truth, the Bismarck Class rapresented the very pinnacle of battleships' design, with a perfect balance of overwhelming firepower, incredibly efficient armor protection (seriously, [[what|40% of their weight was dedicated to the armor]] and their armored belt was around 170 meters long, meaning that most of the ships were protected by it) and speed and their flaws were far less dangerous in a combat situation that those found on every other modern battleship of the war: the King George Vs were slower and both them and the Richelieus were uselessly complicated and suffered from severe mechanical fails and hydraulic problems (not to mention they couldn't shoot backwards), the Yamatos were so big and heavy that they were impossible to maintain, furthermore their guns and shells were highly ineffective, their armor scheme was a total mess and their radar was much less advanced, the Iowas, while faster, with better technology and (only slightly) more powerful guns, had a terrible weakness in the form of extremely poor armor reliability to withstand both shells and torpedoes and that was discovered only months after the four battleships had been fully built abd thus was impossible to rectify, a flaw they shared with both the North Carolina Class and the South Dakota Class, only that those two were also slower than the Bismarck and the Littorios were completely unreliable, lacking radar systems, their guns were extremely inaccurate and also had a very short lifespan.

* '''''Graf Zepplin''''': The Nazi's sole attempt at building an aircraft carrier that was a weird carrier/cruiser hybrid. Not the best idea because having the heavy guns meant it could field less planes and having planes meant that it would punch below its' weight in shooting match with other surface assets, though this is theoretical. Never completed, due to the squabbling between Göring and the Admiralty whose department this ship belongs to and the ever decreasing need of an aircraft carrier in continental Europe. Despite never being ''officially'' cancelled until the end of the war, frequent changes to the design and the planes that were supposed to be used with it as well as severe materiel shortages made sure that construction was put on hold in 1943 and the, by that time about 85% complete ship was moved from port to port in the Baltic Sea. The Soviets captured it in 1945, used it for target practice and ultimately sunk it in 1947 off the coast of Danzig (or Gdansk in Polish), where its wreck was rediscovered in 2006.

===Wunderwaffen===
Wunderwaffen. One thing that caught the imagination of the world and started the "Superior German Engineering" meme. As a preface, civilian engineering is great in Germany. Military? Well... you'll see in a bit. This is the place any of the "Nazi Super science" stuff goes. You want lightning guns? Wunderwaffen. Super tanks? Wunderwaffen. Moon rockets? Wunderwaffen. Hitler in a giant robot spider powered by the souls of the damned? Wunderwaffen.

A lot of people can argue that things like the Wunderwaffe and to a lesser degree the Gen 3 heavy tanks like the Tiger and Panther were wastes of time, money and resources in a time where they desperately could not afford to spend all three. These same people argue that it would have been preferable to produce more panzer IV's and Stugs then produce expensive Tigers or Wunderwaffe. However the truth is, as usual, a lot more nuanced. Take a quick look at even a modern map of Europe and you quickly find the same truth the Nazi's ran into no matter how they ignored: Germany is small. They don't have the same kind of resources at there disposal that Russia or America have. Maybe They could match England or France one-on-one but both had global empires that when factored in meant that Germany was Dwarfed in the resource game (hence why trying to blockade England was such a Critical thing during both world wars). There is, frankly, no way Germany could ever produce enough tanks to match the American horde of Sherman or Soviet onslaught of T-34's, and there is no way for Germany to keep all those tanks fueled. It is with this mind set that one can understand the reason for the Wunderwaffen and Gen 3 heavy tanks. If there is no way to produce as many tanks as your enemy's, your only options is to pack so much power into each individual war machine that they can achieve favorable kill/death ratios to make up the difference. At the core it's space marine logic, a few stronger units outfighting many times their number.

When put that way it makes the Wunderwaffe sounds like a good idea in theory. In practice they turned out not to be, due to many different factors going from limitations that could not be overcome with tech from the forties to nepotism and human stupidity (more on this below). It is indeed true that the different wonder weapon projects were on the bleeding edge of their epoch's technology when envisioned, next generation devices which most of the scientists of other nations had been thinking about/started to toy with, but had yet to reach prototype much less combat stage. Yes, the Germans pioneered a lot of things that were afterwards [[Blood Ravens|acquired and adapted]] by the Allies and the Soviet Union. The problem was, at the start of the war, the technology to make said Wunderwaffe '''efficient''' weapons (a real guidance system for the V1 and V2, for instance, and a decent fuel valve for V-1's to avoid engine death after a hundred turns) simply wasn't there yet, and once the war got into full-swing and the attendant drain on fighting a multi-front war along with the effects of Allied strategic bombing became dominant, the Germans never managed to close the gap. All that the Wunderwaffen '''could''' have been agreed upon having accomplished is the initial psychological shock upon deployment (such as the unstoppable V-2 launches), which wasn't much of a big deal after the human mind would adapt to the new threat.

On the negative side, while the German quest for military innovation lead to a number of advances and efficient war machines that did have everyone else scrambling to catch up, most were nothing more than a drain on Germany's already limited resources. Hitler had a documented fascination with anything that screamed "German Supremacy" and was willing to throw money at any such proposal. Thus, for every successful development that led to for instance the Messerschmitt Bf 109 (which was a very good plane and a potential game changer); you had more half-successes like the Tiger/VK3X.XX series/Ferdinand-Elephant/... (which were decent enough machines in the field but were horribly costly and maintenance-intensive) and all the associated waste of time and resources that went into completely hare-brained projects like the ''Ratte''. Later on, once the multi-front war turned against Germany, it turned into an arguable desperation for something-anything to one-shot win-the-war. As you can imagine with four hands strangling Germany, one smelling of vodka, one of bourbon and apple pie, one of tea and gin and the last of white bread and frog legs, these weapons were developed and produced with a shortage of resources and time and the lack of quality only exacerbated their various shortcomings and strained an already breaking economy. They were rather dismissively called "voo-vah" by Allied troops, and they allegedly thanked Hitler for ultimately shortening the war by authorizing the waste of resources on them. Perhaps ironically, the Wunderwaffen did help to shorten the war, since those resources may have been better used on propping up a failing wartime economy, or building "boring but effective" war materiel. As with anything on this wiki, YMMV and you're encouraged to do your own research (and find a lot of really interesting stories in the process; did you know that at point-blank range, the standard 88mm AP round could rip a furrow through the entire length of the roof of a M4 turret, peeling open the steel like a centre-parting in hair? SCIENCE!)

It's worth noting here that the Germans and the Allies (particularly the Americans) devoted equally insane amounts of resources to developing crazy sci-fi weapons during the war; the course of post-war history shows which side bet on the winning horses. While the Germans farted around with jets and giant cannons, the Americans were conducting the Manhattan Project and creating nuclear weapons, (and building the B-29 Superfortress, a plane so advanced that it cost just as much as the bombs it would deliver to Japan). Ultimately, the Germans' wide-reaching experimentation was a classic example of crippling overspecialization, developing dozens of potentially war-winning technologies and giving none of them the attention they needed.

* '''V1 flying bomb:''' The V1 is considered as an early version of the cruise missile and was used in the bombing of England, since a city was pretty much all they COULD accurately hit (and even then). The V1's used an early version of a Pulse jet and they were quickly called "buzz bombs," "doodlebugs," or "farting furies" to discourage people from calling them "robot bombs," which gives the impression that they were unstoppable. Fun fact about the V1: it uses the same fuel as a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombardier_beetle type of beetle] uses to defend itself. It was infamously known for cutting its engine as it dived (due to a fuel flow error), leading to it suddenly becoming silent just before it smashed into the ground. Its entire "guidance computer" was nothing more than a simple gyroscope system to keep it level and flying, plus a small spinning propeller in the nose that would set the flaps to dive the V1 into the ground once it revolved a certain amount of times (calculated to have covered the distance to the target city). Far too inaccurate to be used against a military target, the V1 was ultimately a gigantic waste. After the war though, with American and Soviet resources and improved controls, it founded the basis of modern tactical bombardment. Strategic? See right below.
*'''V2 rocket:''' The V2 was the world's first ballistic missile and spacefaring craft. The scientists that developed it, including Werner von Braun, went on to work for NASA and developed the booster rockets on the Saturn V launch vehicle (Nazi science really did put a man on the Moon in the end). Unlike its brother the V1, it was utterly unstoppable by AA; not a single inbound V2 was ever shot down by anti-aircraft fire, owing to it moving at 3 times the speed of sound. As detailed in Thomas Pynchon's novel ''Gravity's Rainbow'' (the book's name referring to the ballistic trajectory of the rockets), the V2 brought a new terror to late-war London: as the rockets impacted well beyond the speed of sound, the first sign of an attack was an explosion on the ground, ''followed'' by "a screaming across the sky." It was the first vehicle to ever reach space (but not the first object, that honor falls to Imperial German artillery in WW1, specifically the Paris Gun), from a vertical test launch in 1943, and after the war it was very frequently reused by the Americans (with extra shit often strapped on top) as an early spacecraft, with grainy images returned from suborbital flights in space as early as 1946. Less of a waste than the V1 but even so, without a decent guidance system it had a hard time hitting England as well as the dubious distinction of being the only weapon which killed more people in its manufacture than it did enemies. (It achievieved this distinction by being constructed in concentration camps, where prisoners' lives were freely exchanged for productivity. It's worth remembering that many of the "good" Germans that came to the US and NASA had to ''literally'' step over corpses to get to their Nazi rocket factories during the war.)
*''' Ruhrstahl X-4 and Panzerabwehrrakete X-7 Rotkäppchen rocket:''' The X-4 and X-7 were the first Wire-Guided missiles (by which they were guided by electrical signals sent down guidance wires spooled out behind the rocket in flight) to be developed, and an example that in some cases Wunderwaffen really did point the way to the future.
* '''Horten 229 and Horten 18:''' While technically Nazi aircraft, they really deserves to be here, not up in Aircraft. Commonly known as the "Nazi stealth fighter," this twin-turbojet flying-wing fighter was found in a secret workshop hangar by invading American forces. Nobody knows for certain if the Horten 229 was originally built for stealth, but it's all-wood construction and smooth radar-fouling shape, coupled with what was claimed to be radar-absorbing paint on the outer shell makes a fairly clear case for a stealth aircraft (Though [[Wikipedia:de Havilland Mosquito|the allies had already been fielding wooden aircraft for years]] and the Germans knew Radar worked poorly on them, as well as the "radar absorbing paint" being tested by Lockheed and being found to have no appreciable effect on radar returns). The concept that the 229 was build around was the "3x1000": 1000kph, 1000km range, 1000kg bomb payload. This, in 1943. During test flights, it outperformed the Me. 262 while using exactly the same engines. It was probably going to be used to fly through or knock out the British radar array in a second, never-realized "Battle of Britain 2: Electromagnetic Boogaloo." The Horten 18 was an even bigger flying wing, with a huge wingspan and 6 jet engines. This one was designed to be an intercontinental bomber, intending to hit American cities as the western front made Hitler [[rage|angrier and angrier]]. The Horten 18 was never built, but the 229 was rather successfully test flown. Both planes looks quite a bit like the modern B2 stealth bomber, which isn't much of a surprise considering the Americans hauled the Horten 229 prototype back home to be studied in a secret airforce base (where it is today). The designs failed for several reasons: lack of funds and insufficient stabilizing hard/software for flying wing aircrafts in 1940's.
[[File:Maus_Trials_1944.png|350px|thumb|right|[[Approved_anime#Gaming_anime|Panzer vor]], motherfuckers.]]
* '''''Maus'':''' The ''Panzerkampfwagen VIII Maus'' ("mouse") is the largest tank ever built. A 200 metric ton monster with a 128mm (5 inch) main gun, and a 75mm co-axial gun in the turret, it crept along at a blistering 13 kph and sucked down liters of gas per kilometer. The most amazing thing is that (beyond not cancelling the project on sight like anyone withing hailing distance of sanity would) ''they actually managed to build this tank''. Five were ordered, but only two prototypes and one turret were built. It was originally going to be called the ''Mäuschen'' (Little Mouse), but because the Germans liked schadenfreude more than irony, just ''Maus'' stuck. Realistically, neither front's tanks would have had the firepower to penetrate the Maus, only extreme-caliber anti-tank guns and artillery fire would have done the job, however it was so big that there was no road or bridge big enough to take it so it had to have special snorkling gear to get past river. Its extremely slow speed and massive size, however, likely would have made it prime bait for bombers (which is one of the reasons why modern militaries don't use heavy tanks anymore). While neither side had anti-tank weapons strong enough to penetrate its armor, it's more then likely it would never get there even if it was built. It's not quite a [[Baneblade]], but they were getting there. The Nazi's really didn't want anyone to get this monster, so they blew up the complete first model. The second Maus, armed with the first one's turret, was towed back to Russia by invading forces, and currently resides in the Kubinka Tank museum for all to see.
* '''''Ratte'':''' The ''Landkreuzer P. 1000 Ratte'' ("rat") was an even larger tank, or "land cruiser", since it was essentially a naval warship on tracks. Never actually built, despite being ordered by Hitler. [[Wat|The Rat was to be a 1000 metric ton tank, mounting a naval turret with two 280mm guns, a 128mm anti tank gun, eight 20mm FlaK cannons, and two 15mm aircraft cannons]], surpassing even the Eleven Barrels Of Hell of the Baneblade. It would have been so heavy that it would have destroyed every road it used, capable of wrecking a town just by running through it, and it would have collapsed every bridge it crossed. It needed two U-BOAT motors to get around, or maybe EIGHT 20 CYLINDER ENGINES. Not surprisingly, Albert Speer canned the project (mostly because a single bomber dropping a 500kg bomb on top of the thing would fuck its day up immensely), which is a great shame because A- Building and maintaining such a monster would have posed a noticeable strain on Germany's logistics, thus accelerating their defeat (it would have required about six months worth of the Reichs ENTIRE STEEL PRODUCTION just to build the damm thing) and B- It would have made the most [[awesome]] museum piece in the known universe.
*'''''Karl-Gerät''''' The ''Karl-Gerät'' is one of the very few real world weapon ever built that is BIGGER then its 40k equivalent. Karl weighs 124 tons, is armed with a 60cm (24 inch) gun that fires a shell that weights more than a ton, that can hit a target between four and ten kilometers away depending on the size of its shell. This thing was the largest self-propelled gun ever made and it could give even a (admittedly small) Titan pause for thought. These things were actually used in combat to decent effect in Warsaw, but had mixed results in other deployments. It fucked up any target royally when it hit like famously the Prudential in Warsaw, but the Gerät was so big and slow that it had to be disassembled and put on special tractor trailers to move around (one hell of a logistic operation) and and was moved any real distance by train. Its shells were carried by special turret-less Panzer IIIs. Surprisingly one of these things survived the war and was captured by the Russians. It's currently in the Kubinka Tank Museum along side the only Maus heavy tank in the world and assorted other war trophies.
[[File:Hitler-gustav-railway-gun.jpg|350px|thumb|right|If there was a fine line between [[Dakka]], [[Titan|massive overcompensation]], and [[Rape|"Holy shit, Greg! Is that a fucking landship on rails!?",]] then the Gustav sure hits the spot.]]
*'''''Schwerer Gustav'':''' An excellent example of the brilliance and impracticality of Wunderwaffen, ''Schwerer Gustav'' was a railway gun that resembled a cruiser fucking a freight train and an artillery piece, built in the late 30's to defeat the Maginot Line. Two were built, the other called "Dora." It is a descendant of the German Empire's 1918 "Paris gun," a smaller gun ("only" 238mm's) built in World War One to shell Paris from Germany, 120 kilometers away (a range so far they had to account for the curvature of the Earth when firing the damn thing). Gustav was designed to defeat any fortifications in existence; as such, it was the largest-calibre rifled weapon ever used in combat, the heaviest mobile artillery piece ever built in terms of overall weight, and fired the heaviest shells of any artillery piece. It fired 80cm (31 inch) shells, weighing 4,800kg to 7,100kg up to 48km. The AP shells could penetrate 7m of reinforced concrete. It completely succeeded in its job of defeating any existing fortification, but at the same time was completely impractical: it required two specially-laid parallel railway tracks to move (yes, it was a railway gun too big for the railway), took 54 hours to set up for firing, and had a rate of fire of 14 rounds per day as charges had to be heated up in a special device for roughly 1 day before firing. Since building a gun that fired shells that wouldn't fit through the front door to your house wasn't excessive enough for the Nazis, plans were made to mount the Schwerer Gustav 80cm gun on a 1,500t self propelled artillery platform (the ''Landkreuzer P.1500 Monster'') with two 15cm howitzers and multiple 15mm autocannons as secondary weapons. Unfortunately, both guns were scrapped near the end of the war. The Schwerer Gustav, overall, was the biggest (if the strange rocket exhaust powered V3 listed bellow is not counted) motherfucking gun on the planet. The weapon likely could have blown a Titan away if its shields were down, and much science-fiction set in WW2 features the gun (notably, in Harry Turtledove's Worldwar series, the gun is used to blow up two landed alien spacecraft from sixty kilometers away).The fucking thing was hilariously impractical as there is no recorded cases it of successfully hitting the target (and with the accuracy of that thing it's a miracle no German forces were harmed). There is an urban legend about one AP shot detonating an ammo dump through 15 meters of water and 7 meters of concrete during the Siege of Sevastapol, but no hard proof supports it.
*'''V3''': If you thought Gustav up there was nutty wait to you here about the V3, a gun that's as big as a 40k titan. The V3 was an attempt to make a gun that could shoot across the English channel, and there were a number of sane guns that could do this including railway guns and big bunkers built with battleship battery's. but they could only shoot between the narrowest point between England and continental Europe. The V3 was built to shell London from France. I said early it was as big as a titan, and I was not being sarcastic, (though it would only be as big as a knight, which despite being the smallest titan is still bloody big) from breach to muzzle the gun was 130 meters or 430 feet long with a bore of 150mm or 5.9 inches across. Rather then use a single big explosion to propel the shells, the V3 used rocket motors mounted in pairs, set so there exhaust would thrust a 140kg shell out of the barrel like a reverse bolter. This set up allowed it to fire a shell out to 165km and put London well in range. Of course like all of the Nazi Wunderwaffen, in practice it sounded good but was actually kinda shit. the gun was so big, remember 130meters that it had to be built in a hill meaning it was impossible for it to change target after being built, and after all the time you spent building the damn thing, by the time you were done it might no longer be useful to have, such as what happened during the Nazi Operation Nordwind. Further even if you ignore the logistical issues compared to other period artillery the V3 was just plain shit. The 16"/50 caliber Mark 7 guns of the USS Iowa class battleship, had a caliber of 16 inch or 406mm, and fired a shell that weighed 1,225 kg, so over twice as big around and almost exactly nine times as heavy, and the Iowa had nine of them, and it could move. and to put the cherry on the HMS sound plan, by the time the first five guns were finally built to shell London, the British airforce destroyed them with Tallboy Earthquake bombs. If anything proves how silly the idea of Nazi Super Science is, let the fate of the V3 super gun stand testament to how many times Hitler's scientists, and Hitler himself, had been hit with the stupid stick growing up. Hitler in particular, [[Meme|who was punished by his enraged father severely]].
*'''''[https://www.science.org/content/blog-post/sand-won-t-save-you-time N-Stoff]:''''' Someday, somewhere in the ''Kaiser Wilhelm Institute'' there was an Evil Overlord that was unhappy about the quantity of flammen his flammenwerfer could werf - so he got around and took two guys named Ruff and Krug to play around with some flourine and some chlorine. Now, if you studied something about chemistry, you may realize that using "flourine" and "chlorine" in the same sentence does not spell good news for anybody, but you know, ''Nazi Evil Overlords..''. What they discovered made their commissioners - yes, the same ol' boys who thought gassing millions was cool - go '''NOPE!''', and when you discover something that's too crazy even for Crazy Nazi Science standards you know you're in for a treat. Indeed, Chlorine Trifluoride (as the compound is called) proved to be pretty good in burning bunkers to the ground - and by "burning bunkers" we mean the ''whole'' bunker, as in ''it reacts with the motherfucking concrete'' - plus it doubled as a chemical warfare agent, giving off corrosive and toxic fumes. N-Stoff (translating to Substance-N; yeah, they kinda failed the naming here) burns at a raging 2400 degrees Celsius - twice the temperature of lava and almost enough to BOIL steel - and can set fire to things that shouldn't burn like glass, wet sand (or asbestos (the same substance that they used to make fireproof stuff out of)) and things that have already been burnt. In fact fighting the fire with water is counterproductive, the water is just more fuel and it reacts to create deadly acids and gasses. In the 1950's a ton of the stuff was spilled on a warehouse: the chemical then burned through a foot of Concrete and three feet gravel, while releasing a deadly gas that corroding everything it came into contact with. If there ever was something like [[Dakka|Enuff Dakka]] for flamethrowers, Substance N came close to delivering it. The Nazis planned to use it in war, but were never able to produce enough of it (only a few dozen kg total), presumably because it kept incinerating everyone who tried to make it. It later found its use in the semiconductor and nuclear industry - after being dubbed a bit too violent to use as rocket fuel, one rocket scientist famously said that the best way to deal with a Chlorine Trifluoride accident was "a good pair of running shoes". Also, [[Sly Marbo]] uses Substance N to spice up his Catachan Take Away.
*'''E-Series''': A very obscure piece of German tank engineering history, that was brought to mainstream attention by being featured in World of Tanks. The ''Entwicklung'' series of tanks were pure design studies, never produced or even properly conceptualized as an attempt in streamlining tank production and as replacements for the entire tank pool of the Wehrmacht. It consisted of 5 tanks in total (E-10, E-25, E-50, E-75, E-100) with different purposes and their name corresponded with their weight class. By the time these design studies were made (around late 44 to early 45) producing an entirely new series of tanks was way beyond the capabilities of the by that time disintegrating remainder of the German heavy industry, so it's best not to read too much into these tanks other than them being interesting curiosities. From what was left of reserve steel, the Germans managed to scramble together one incomplete E-100 chassis that was found by the Americans and handed over to the British, which used it for target practive and ultimately scrapped it in 1950.
*'''''Uranprojekt''''': The Uranprojekt (Uraniumproject as the most literal translation) was the attempt of German scientists to create a nuclear bomb, or at least to create a sustainable chain reaction. It found its way into popular fiction as the German attempt in creating an atomic bomb, often claiming they almost had one, but when taking a closer look, this isn't exactly the truth. It didn't exactly go all that well. Germany suffered a major brain drain when it expelled all its Jewish scientists and it had next to no access to Uranium or materials that could be used as a moderator (like highly pure graphite or heavy water). The material problems were sorta solved when France and Norway fell into their hands, but the problems only increased from then on. The scientists were unsure what to use as fuel for the bomb as both proposed elements (Uranium-235 and Plutonium-239) are extremely rare and need to be created artificially in breeding reactors. To put it in perspective: Plutonium wasn't believed to be a natural occuring element at all until the 1990s and common Uranium ore contains usually 2% Uranium in its most stable form (U-238) and generally only 0,7% of all Uranium is of the 235 variety (U-238 is much more stable than U-235 and therefore harder to split). One must also take into consideration that nuclear technology in general was in its infancy and just at the very onset of leaving the purely theoretical stage, which adds to the problems in procuring enough viable fission material outlined above. The lead scientist of the project, Werner Heisenberg, (yes, that's where the name Heisenberg comes from) also had a crisis of conscience and reduced his work on the project significantly. After the Invasion of the Soviet Union, the project was abandoned by the Wehrmacht and handed over to the civilian Reichsforschungsrat (Council of Science of the Reich) because of the material expenses and the lack of results. The project experienced a significant number of setbacks, the most important of which was an explosion of a globe filled with Uranium powder in 1942, which destroyed a substantial amount of Germanys Uranium reserves (The accident in question actually bears a striking resemblance to what happened in Chernobyl in 1986, thankfully only on a much smaller scale). But it didn't stop there. The Allies caught wind of the project and feared that the Germans could succeed in developing a nuclear bomb and sent Commandos in a series of daring operations that make for excellent reading material. In short, all German facilities that could produce materials, together with practically any Uranium and heavy water for use in the Uranprojekt were destroyed by early 1944 either through sabotage or air raids and the project worked off remaining reserves from then on. One last experiment in Haigerloch, South Germany was conducted in Febuary 1945 and failed in producing a nuclear chain reaction. The leading scientists were taken into custody by the Americans, others from the rank-and-file by the Soviets, where they continued their work on the Soviet Unions nuclear weapons project. The effect the Uranprojekt was more to found in the looming paranoia of the Allies, particularly the Americans, about a possible German nuclear bomb that drove a lot of the reasearch in the Manhattan-Project, with the irony being that the Germans never even came close to create a critical nuclear chain reaction, let alone a bomb. In hindsight, the project was in fact a complete failure. All that needs to be said is that around ten different organizations were all running their own programs, one of which was the German Postal Service.
*'''Die Glocke (The Bell)''': Okay, so you know the Nazi Zombie craze that got started back in 1941 (seriously the first Nazi Zombie film was made during WWII), and the purported occult obssession several higher-ups in the party had? This is one of the end results of that branch of PseudoScience & Conspiracy level crazy. Much like the US's Philadelphia Experiment, or MK-Ultra; Die Glocke was supossed to be "something" that would break the laws of reality, bring back the dead, power all the factories, and mind control the enemies of the Reich. It's also complete horseshit, potentially made up by a Polish Author/Journalist (I. Witkowski), and then later popularised by a British Author/Military Journalist (N. Cook). Still as it has helped shape the more fantasical view of the Nazi Wunderwaffen, especially in the realm of /v/idya, and the "factual" books are a good laugh, is worth a mention.
*'''Sonnengewehr (Sun Gun)''': Slightly less fantastical than the Bell above (as in theoretically feasible but just as impossible to realize with the tech available at the time) was the Sonnengewehr, or the Sun Gun. Orginally proposed in 1929 by Hermann Oberth, the Sonnengewehr was a hypothesised space station that would orbit around the planet roughly five thousand miles up, and focus the Sun's rays into a ray capable of burning down cities, or boiling dry the oceans using a fuckhueg reflector made of metallic sodium. While the numbers involved are probably fairly wooly given just how batshit crazy the Nazi science machine was, the scientists involved claimed that the Sun Gun could be completed within 50 to 100 years, and if you consider that we landed on the moon roughly 40 years after the first purposeful of the 'sun gun', that number does check out. The "designers" at least had some sense of reality when they realized that the platform could also make for a weather satellite since it might as well have such facilities on board due to size. On an amusing sidenote, the Russians eventually demonstrated the concept was sound (if stupidly impractical for any intended purpose) with their ''Znamaya'' solar mirror prototype in the nineties. Though of course in terms of a 'super weapon' any kind of 'sun gun' fails when compared to atomic weapons, which is why Despite being sound in concept nobody has actually bothered to even consider such a weapon. (though as weather manipulator? that's a different kettle of fish)

===Misc===
[[File:Stalhelm.jpg|200px|thumb|left|The Distinctive Stahlhelm. The Germans lucked out helmet design during WWI]]
* '''''Stahlhelm'':''' The many variants of the iconic German helmet were derived from the medieval sallet during the Great War. The purpose of these helmets was to keep shrapnel out of one's head. It was better than it's contemporaries by better protecting the sides and back of the head as well. Not to be confused with the spiked Prussian ''Pickelhaube''. Used by all kinds of German troops but the Fallschirmsjäger (paratroopers) as it is impractical to jump with it. Paratroopers had a special version of the helmet that removed the front and back flanges, giving it a much more streamlined appearance. The basic shape of the helmet would go on to become the basis for most modern helmets, especially as the shape was well suited to wearing a headset under it.

*'''''Stielhandgranate'':''' Often called "stick grenades" or "potato mashers," these are those grenades on sticks you see the Germans always using. Used by popping off the metal cap at the end of the stick, giving the cord which doubled as a fuse a good yank, and throwing it to your target (of course, before the fuse went off). The Stielhandgranate is what is called a "offensive" grenade known now as a "concussive" grenade. The difference is an offensive grenade uses explosive pressure waves to kill an enemy, thus allowing you to use it while advancing without getting a face full of shrapnel, while a defensive grenade (like the US "pineapple" grenade) uses shrapnel to kill an enemy, affecting a much larger area but also putting you in the blast radius, hence they were designed to be thrown over the wall of a fox hole or trench line at advancing enemy troops while you keep your head down. The reason the Stielhandgranate has the stick is to give you more leverage when throwing it as compared to a round grenade, which worked but nonetheless history moved past the concept and grenades on sticks didn't keep.
**'''''Geballte Ladung'':''' Take your grenades off of their sticks, wrap them all up around one stick grenade, and tie them up around it with something. You see, as the Stielhandgranate was basically just a head of TNT lit up after the fuse at the end of the stick reached the explosive filler in the head, cramming more of these explosive heads around one will lead to a bigger boom when that one goes off like planting more TNT on the same detonation location will, though the added weight would reduce the range advantage of hurling it by the stick and made it harder to carry them en masse (regular Stielhandgranates were only barely harder to attach to someone than actual sticks and soldiers could easily cram them just about anywhere on their person). This "bundled charge" was improvised for use against harder targets, like armored vehicles (though it didn't take long in World War 2 for this to become useless against tanks) and buildings. Six/Nine explosive heads fit nicely when tied around one stick grenade's head on the horizontal plane parallel to the head's circular ends, which was the usual upper limit for this improvisation, though logically it would be quite possible to tie even more around the grenade while making it even more difficult to throw and making it more resemble an explosive charge that you can't expect to throw very far with a stick in it.

*'''''Nebelwerfer'':''' A family of weapons whose very name means "Fog/Mist Thrower"; they were listed as smoke screen launchers before the war (to get around the Treaty of Versailles), but in truth were rather deadly artillery pieces designed to deploy chemical munitions; though barring a few isolated instances on the Eastern Front, chemical weapons were never used in any meaningful capacity during the war, likely because Hitler had survived gas attacks in the last war and drew the line at using them himself, along with the fact that using chemical weapons would invite retaliation. These types of weapons included some mortars, but more importantly, rocket artillery. Between the wars, there was a fair bit of interest in new rocket designs; as conventional artillery was either strictly regulated or forbidden by the Treaty of Versailles; and the Nazis knew they had a use for that. These rockets were inaccurate, but you could easily fire a whole bunch of the things off at once for a good saturation bombing, though thanks to the smoke you had to scoot away afterwards or the other side would drop their own artillery right on top of you. The rocket based system made a very distinctive sound. The Germans nicknamed the thing "Heulende Kuh" (Bellowing Cow) and US troops would come to call them "Screaming Mimi" and "Moaning Minnie".
**In the later phases of the war, the Germans would also mount the launcher onto a half-track and designate it a "Panzerwerfer" (Armored Thrower). In many ways a German analogue to the BM-21, the Panzerwerfer saw intensive use during the Battle of the Bulge.

*'''Goliath:''' A remotely controlled mini-vehicle on treads, stuffed full of explosives. They were driven up to an enemy tank or a bunker and then blown up. (Games Workshop stole the idea and design for the Imperial Guard [[Cyclops Demolition Vehicle|Cyclops]].) Good idea, but the execution was lacking since Radio Control wasn't good enough yet. They had a cable like some sort of bargain remote-controlled car which limited their range dramatically, and cutting this would utterly defeat the weapon. (At least it's not as bad as the Russians and their kamikaze dogs which they trained to run under tanks, that is, THEIR OWN TANKS, but I digress...) On the flip side, American soldiers often made great fun with captured Goliaths by riding them around as the tiny thing could carry quite a load.

*'''Flammenwerfer:''' A werfer zat werfs flammen. Your standard flamethrower in both name and function, though there wasn't much use for it - There were no real line wars like in WW1 where people sat in <s>comfy</s> little (hell) holes and took potshots at each other. not to say they weren't used. but unlike the trench wars of WW1 most of the fighting was mobile rather than static. For added nastiness, some bigger ones were mounted in Flammpanzers, able to shoot hundreds of liters of sticky, burning fuck you over distances exceeding 50 meters. Getting issued one was generally regarded one of the least desirable jobs on all sides of the war, Flamethrower operators were prime targets for reasons that should be obvious but also because everyone shot them on the spot when they surrendered. It also bears mentioning that actually firing a flamethrower is a ''very'' unpleasant sensation.

*'''8.8cm flak gun:''' Known as the "Acht-Acht", this is THE German gun of world war two, and it sums up the German experience in the first part of the war; of never being truly ready but by being very clever and doctrinally flexible. The 88mm was designed as an anti-air weapon (Flak standing for ''Fliegerabwehrkanöne'', or AA gun) built to throw a high explosive shell as high into the air as it could so that it could explode somewhere in the same ballpark as the enemy plane and put one piece of shrapnel into something important and bring it down, which is a role it preformed throughout the war. However against the heavy allied tanks such as the British Matilda 1 and French B1, the German tanks of the time had no ability to penetrate their frontal armor The the 8.8 cm flak guns however, thanks to the high muzzle speed required to fire their explosive shell so high into the air, were able to deal with enemy tanks at unparalleled ranges at the time. So the guns were pulled to the front by a certain Erwin Rommel during the battle of Arras, the barrels lowered, a French-British tank-heavy counterattack stopped; and it snowballed from there. In case your wondering, the reason why the 88's had anti-tank rounds was because while not designed to deal with enemy tanks, they had a secondary role in busting enemy bunkers and fortifications, hence why an ANTI-AIR gun had an AP round. Germany quickly pushed to have both a proper PaK version of the 88 (Pak standing for ''Panzerabwehrkanöne'', or AT gun) that had a lower profile, was easier to move around and had a shield to stop stray bullets from decimating the crew; and a tank armed with the 88 as it became clear that against the soviet union, tanks were only going to get stronger. Which is why the Tiger I is a metal slab with a huge gun: its job was to get an 88mm gun into the battlefield as fast as possible. Using AA guns as AT guns was such a good idea that the US did the same thing with their 90mm AA gun converting it into a anti-tank weapon for the M36 tank destroyer and the Pershing tank; and so did the Russians with their 85 mm gun for the upgunned versions of the T-34 and KV-1. The Imperial Guard Basilisk cannon looks almost exactly like the Flak 88.

*'''2 cm Flak 30/38/Flakvierling:''' Remember the "Acht-Acht"? Now add two of these smaller guns to each flak 88 site, hill, hedge, ditch and rooftop in Europe and watch the fireworks. The German answer to the question of "enuff dakka" in a more reasonable package than MG42 which went through metal reserves was this little bastard, which was like an American 30.cal [[Bolter|firing explosive ''and'' armor piercing rounds]]. Obviously devastating to infantry and aircraft, it even rained sufficient hailstorms of rounds that damaged and threw off approaching lightly armored vehicles enough to make a difference, and given luck, it could rip through tank tracks too. And the Germans made 150.000 of these fuckers. And those 150.000 Bolter-Expies, these unsung weapons, did more damage and inflict casualties than any other weapon during the Normandy landing and the push inland. [https://www.quora.com/In-WW2-why-did-the-Germans-never-develop-heavy-machine-guns-like-M2-Browning-for-their-half-tracks-SP-guns-and-tanks/answer/Allyson-Kliff As explained here.]

*'''Kooky Coal Chemistry:''' Germany lacked a lot of strategic resources, but if there was one thing they did have it was coal and by gum the nazis did their best to make the most of it. German was a leader in Industrial Chemistry specifically of this well before Hitler came to power, but the prospect of independence from foreign imports was like Catnip to Ultranationalist wack-a-doodles such as the Nazis. German companies worked out ways of making Gasoline from Coal, rubber from Coal, lubricants were made from Coal and even freakin' Margarine from coal. However a fair number of these methods were also rather expensive and needed a lot of resources to work (using 4.5 tonnes of coal to make 1 tonne of gasoline), with only Synthetic Rubber really catching on Post-War.

*'''The S-mine:''' The Sprengmine (jumping mine), or, to use the name US soldiers gave it, "Bouncing Betty", was one of the most widely used and most effective, weapons of its class. It was a mine that when triggered 'bounced' about three feet into the air before exploding at about waist height in an 'air burst', able to inflict casualities (The military definition of the word meaning more then just dead) at up to 140 feet. And it had a tendency to not kill you, but maim you. [[Grimdark|A deliberate decision, as the Nazis estimated that a wounded soldier takes up a lot more resources than a dead one.]] Later in the war, some were made out of glass and even pottery, with minimal metal parts, to make them even harder to find. Suffice to say, they still havent found all of them... 1.93 million S-mines were made and it was widely copied after the war, these things are still killing people to this day as old mines forgot about are stepped on and the explosive proves itself still good. While the S-mine is hardly unique in that regard (Unexploded US aircraft bombs and shells make up the bulk of what they still find in Germany, around 2,000 pounds year according to the Smithsonian) land mines, like the S-mine, are still dug up by the truck load in North Africa.

*'''Pervitin:''' Not a traditional weapon as such, but a key element in how the Nazis blitzkrieg tactics were so effective, Pervitin was a methamphetamine drug that provided the base recipe for today's crystal meth and which was distributed to all members of the Nazi military. Its powerful stimulatory effect enabled them to fight harder for longer, and was essential in the breakneck races from the border to the battlefield. With all of the Nazi troopers hopped up on this drug, which later incorporated cocaine for increased effectiveness, Nazi forces could keep fighting effectively well after their enemies were worn out. At least until their supply lines were cut and addiction/withdrawal symptoms crippled them all, that is. The use of pervitin was cut drastically after the France campaign for that reason (and for fear of long-term side effects, especially when discipline issues started mounting), though many pilots and tank crew members still used it readily, especially during Stalingrad (with the hilarious side effect of turning into an on-the-spot popsicle when the crash came). It could also be issued for important operations. The idea that all Wehrmacht soldiers were drooling junkies is however wrong, funny, but wrong. It has a fascinating legacy that lasted much longer than the Third Reich did: The Bundeswehr and NVA (Armed forces of Communist East Germany) kept stockpiles of it well into the 70s for emergency use and for paratroopers, as did the US Army in Vietnam. The first climb of Mount Everest in 1953 also saw extensive use of Pervitin and President John F. Kennedy used it to treat his chronic back pain.

*'''''Hs 293 & Fritz-X'':''' Another German WWII oddity, the Hs 293 and Fritz-X were basically remote-controlled bombs and the grand-parents of modern precision-guided ammo. In an effort to improve bombing accuracy without having to dive at the target, they came up with this idea: take a huge bomb, add small wings with control surfaces, actuators, a radio receiver and a big flare up the bomb's arse so the bombardier can see where it's going (and a rocket booster in the case of the Hs 293); and then add a radio transmitter with a joystick in the airplane so the bombardier can correct its descent. There you go, highly precise steerable bomb. It actually worked really well, but not without drawbacks: drop altitude was limited, since the bombardier needed to keep a line of sight on the flare, like all radio transmission it could be jammed and lastly the bomber had to remain in level flight during the bomb's entire descent to allow the bombardier to steer it. Ultimately the bombs only saw limited anti-ship use, the combination of limited drop altitude and level flight made the bomber a way too easy prey for any fighter defending its target. Still, they were pretty efficient weapons in the right circumstances as the ''Roma'', the ''Littorio'' and the ''Warspite'' can attest to.

*'''Kettenkrad (Sd. Kfz 2)''': Those stylish tracked motor cycles, build as a light general-purpose platform that could do basically anything, from reconnaissance to lying down telephone and radio cables and towing light AT-guns and artillery pieces. A very solid design in general, it was very manuverable for its weight, had great off-road capabilities and was very easy to drive; if you knew how to drive a motor cycle you could drive a Kettenkrad. This was achieved by a rather complex steering gear that used the front wheel to steer it when making turns of about 8°, when making sharper turns a mechanism slowed down one of the tracks. It remained in production and use throughout the entire war and even after it, as its engine was about on par with that of a small tractor and decommissioned Kettenkrads quickly proved a popular and cheap asset for farmers, forresters and even firefighters in Germany after the war. So popular, that production of new Kettenkrads was only ceased in 1951, making it, the Gewehr 98, and a version of the MG-42 the only pieces of german military engineering whose production run outlived the Nazi regime.

*'''Kübelwagen''': In the 1930s, there were not many cars in Germany with domestic production being pretty low, the Nazis thought that it would be a big propaganda boom if they could fix that. As such they gathered up a bunch of German Engineers to try to design a car that was A: reasonably comfortable, B: got good fuel economy and C: cheap and easy to mass produce so that the Average Aryan Arbeiter could afford one and began building a factory to mass produce them. This People's Car was the Volkswagon Beetle, with production beginning in 1938 to much fanfare. But in truth only a small number of them were made as Civie Cars by the Reich and those that were made were given away to Nazi-Party members as presents. More of them however were converted into Kübelwagens, the Nazi's equivalent to the Jeep.

*'''''Zimmerit''''': Ever wondered why so many German Tanks had such a patchy look? and why German WW2 tanks are such a bitch to model? This stuff is the reason. ''Zimmerit'' was a thick paste consisting of Barium Sulfate, Polyvinyl acetate, Zinc Sulfide and some filling material that was applied at the end of tank production in thick layers with spatulas, giving it its distict look. ''Zimmerit'' served as a reliable protection against magnetic anti-tank grenades like the German ''Hafthohlladung'' or . . . nothing. No other nation other then Germany deployed a magnetic anti-tank mine during the war, though concerns that the Hafthohlladung could be easily copied made the idea of Zimmerit a decent idea at the start of the war. However rumours about it igniting after sustaining hits lead to an order to cease production and application of the stuff on tanks. The rumours were never proven, but applying the stuff took days at best and by 1944 the German High Command didn't really want to bother with it anymore, especially since rocket propelled AT-weaponry like the Bazooka made magnetic mines obsolete anyway.

*'''Jerrycans''': Yes, the instantly recognizable jerrycan is in fact a German invention, which given that the Germans in WW1 and 2 were derogatory known as 'jerrys' does make a lot of sense in hindsight. Designed by Wehrmacht Engineers in the late 30s as an improvement over predecessors, which required special tools and funnels to fill, a task that was tedious and took up a lot of time, not to mention how bulky they were. The perfection of the jerrycan design cannot be understated; it's easy to stack, fill, takes up fairly little space and you can carry around a lot of them. The Germans were aware they had struck logistical-design gold and troops were under orders to destroy theirs cans rather than risk their capture, but unfortunately for them the design was brought to the Allies' attention when the American Paul Weiss traveled with a German friend through the entirety of India and realized that his modified car had no storage for reserve water, said German friend who had access to the German reserve stockpile of jerrycans brought them with him on the tour (though also fortunately for the Germans, it wouldn't be until 1943 that any of their enemies would mass-produce the can). After the tour, Weiss shared the design with the American military, who reverse engineered the thing and issued it to every motorized company in the US Army.

*'''The Gas Chambers''': One of the darkest inventions of the Nazis, the Gas Chambers were used to facilitate mass genocide on an industrial scale, human sacrifice on the level of factory farming. Anyone the Nazis deemed "undesirable" were sent to be executed regardless of age, although those capable of sustained labor were worked ragged first in camps before being sent to their deaths. Jews and Romani, Unenslaved Africans, educated Slavs and the Physically Deformed, the Mentally Handicapped and the Crippled, if you didn't fit into Adolf Hitler's insane dream of an All-Aryan Ubermensch World, you were sent to die a horrid death as the Zyklon-B gas choked you to death. The Gas Chambers were the result of a concerted effort to find the most efficient way to kill large numbers of humans covertly and with minimal involvement. At first, the victims of the holocaust were simply lined up and shot by ''Einsatzgruppen'' death squads but that was too messy and was deemed to hard on the men doing the butchery. Vans with the exhaust funneled into the rear compartment were used next, but these were seen as too costly in terms of fuel and machines before stationary extermination facilities using rat poison were worked out as the most effective way to go about it. A cold and chilly logical methodology of planning to achieve the goals of rampant hatred.

== C3i Waffen ==

Not exactly their strongest area...

*'''Enigma:''' Enigma was a communications scheme based on a sophisticated but easy to use electromechanical encryption/decryption device resembling a cross between a typewriter and an odometer. When used with proper procedures it was the one of the most secure means of communication available in the world for its time, offering effectively 76 bit encryption with 1920's technology in a device that was superior to anything the allies had. SIGABA was comparably secure but far heavier and fragile, and the M-209 was far inferior in both ease of use and encryption strength (although it was still adequate). However the combination of lax discipline, reuse of settings, and notes from a polish customs inspection of an enigma device resulted in the technology being reverse engineered and cryptographic attacks being discovered. Only Kriegsmarine communications remained difficult to decrypt by the end of the war, due to their practice of using secret codebooks to further compress their messages prior to encryption. Has become known for being completely cracked by a British team led by a gay man, only for him to be arrested and almost chemically neutered before committing suicide. Because yes, back then potentially saving the lives of hundreds of thousands did not make up for liking the dick.

*'''Bombing Beams:''' Wouldn't you know it, the Instrument Landing System used today at pretty much every major airport was originally invented to 'land' bombs on London in the middle of the night when the lights are out. By using narrow radio beams the Nazis could steer bombers to a precalculated drop point. All the pilots had to do was maintain a certain speed and altitude, and then drop their bombs when the signal detector said they should... except when the British were fucking with them. Towards the end they were fucking with them so hard German bomber pilots were landing at RAF bases believing they were in France. When it actually worked, such as at Coventry, it was more accurate than daytime saturation bombing, with most bombs falling within 90 meters of the beam centerline. This system is why Nazi bombing raids tended to less of a brief swarm like the allies used and more of a continuous bomb conveyor belt lasting most of the night; they would line up single file along the approach beam, and then after they hit the drop beam they'd change altitude, turn around, follow the beam back across the channel; no visibility needed. The British figured this out and started using their television antennas (which had far greater power output) to mess with the system. If the Nazis had continued to improve this technology with ECCM and built a lot more bombers instead of squandering money on Wunderwaffen, they probably would have won the Battle of Britain (even then, Göring would have found a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory).

*'''Tank Radios:''' While today we take it for granted that any trooper anywhere in the galaxy could get a call from the emperor himself to execute order 66, this wasn't always the case. Throughout the 1930's, all German armored vehicles had radios, while their opponents would typically only have a radio for the unit commander. This was an enormous advantage for Nazi tank units that remained the case basically until America showed up. The Nazis also had the Torn.Fu.d2, a backpack portable infantry radio comparable to the American SCR-300, although they didn't distribute them as widely as the Americans did. This was an organizational thing; Germany dealt with communications by assigning a signals battalion to each division and delegating resources as needed, while the Americans always had radios at company level and sometimes had SCR-536 handy-talkies for individual platoons, the ideal being that every American officer's best ''weapon'' was their radioman. The main problem the Germans had with radios was that lots of American soldiers were fluent in German (and German isn't that different from English to begin with).

*'''Zuse Z3''': Lo and behold, for you look at the very first freely programmable digital computer in the world. Completed by Mathematician and Electronics Engineer Conrad Zuse in 1941, it was kept in extreme secrecy, so much so that it was rarely put into use. The rare times it was used, its purpose was to calculate trajectories for V2 rockets. Zuse advocated for its use in the war effort, but the original (and at the time only) device was destroyed in an allied bombing raid in 1943. Zuse built an improved successor, the Z4, just before the war came to a close. Although conditionally Turing complete, physically the Z3 was less advanced in implementation than its peers. Zuse was not able to procure thermionic components (vacuum tubes were in critically short supply for radios and radars in Germany) and so had to rely on electromechanical relays from phone switching gear; in practical terms this meant that the Z3 ran much slower than even purpose built non-Turing complete calculators such as the Atanasoff-Berry or the Colossus. The Z3 itself received little immediate recognition outside of Germany partly because of the American ENIAC computer; the strict secrecy Zuse worked under lead to the Z3 falling into relative obscurity, until the invalidation of the Sperry Rand patents in the 1970's, which hinged partly on Zuse's own patents which had been licensed to IBM as early as 1946 (FYI: you're reading this page on a computer today partly because those Sperry patents died; a year later the Altair 8800 began the long road of upstart Davids bringing down industry Goliaths). Today, a replica of the Z3, built in the 70s (which the by then over 80 year old Zuse himself built alone and [[awesome|from memory]]) can be found in the German Museum in Munich. The only surviving (and probably only completed) Z4 computer was used as the main computer of the Mathematical Devision of the University of Zürich, Switzerland, until 1958, when it was sold to the German Museum in Munich where it remains to this day. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUXnhVrT4CI An example of the Z3 working can be viewed here. (Video in German, good automatic translated English subtitles are available)]

[[Category:History]]

Nazi Equipment

2022-11-04T16:22:44Z

2607:FB90:3F23:DDD0:2930:A99C:FAA8:335C: /* Misc */

[[Nazi|Nazis]]. History's most stylish villains. They're famous as much for their cool equipment as for their total evilness, and because of its distinctive aesthetic and reputation- they did develop some of the most technologically advanced weapons of the 1940s, after all- it gets a lot of use in games, both traditional and otherwise. Here's a hilariously non-brief overview. As a general rule of thumb (with the exception of the Karabiner 98 which predated the Nazis by decades) Nazi equipment was [[plasma|very advanced in concept and potentially quite strong, but overly complicated and unreliable to the point of being dangerous to its user.]]

The vast majority of what you see below fall into four categories, staples of Nazi engineering:
* Decent design, but too little too late,
* Decent design, but too advanced for the technology available to be of any real use on a battlefield where ease of use and reliability are major contributors to success (case in point: the hybrid drive of the [[Elefant|Ferdinand]]),
* High Command squandered the potential because they either weren't using it to full capacity or for purposes it wasn't designed for,
* Completely and obviously fucking retarded, but if I don't follow orders I'm getting shot, sorry test pilot (and everyone else involved)!

===Small Arms===
====Rifles and SMGs====
[[File:Karabiner 98k.jpg|300px|thumb|left|Kar 98k: German for "boring, but practical". ]]
* '''''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkBrh1euWg0 Karabiner 98 kurz]'':''' ("Carbine 1898 short" in German, also called simply ''Gewehr 98'', "rifle of [18]98") The standard German infantry rifle during WWII from the old Mauser family. It was beginning to become dated in WWII, given that it was essentially just a shorter version of the venerable Gewehr 98 which armed most German soldiers in WWI. It used 7.92×57mm Mauser ammunition (often shortened to "8mm Mauser"). Probably the least "Nazi equipment" example on this list while also one of the most manufactured, the rifle's strengths were that it was fairly cheap, very accurate, and reliable. But its drawbacks were that it had a slow rate of fire and only a five-round magazine (typical for early and mid WW2 but struggled against late war Garand and SVT). The easiest weapon to compare it to in WWII would be the Soviet Mosin Nagant, which was cheaper to make, but the 98 was much more accurate. It fell short compared to the British SMLE rifle, which had a ten-round magazine and had a good rate of fire for a bolt action, though it has a substantial advantage due to 8mm Mauser being rimless while .303 British is not. Worse yet, the Karabiner 98k also went up against the semi-automatic American M1 Garand (which General Patton had called "the greatest weapon ever devised") which vastly outperformed it in spitting bullets down range. (All of the above are roughly the same range of calibre—.30 [inches] or 7 to 8mm—one which remains in use today by almost every major military as well as many civilian uses, although today's fashion is for smaller calibre, higher velocity rounds for infantry.) Even then, the gun was generally quite well regarded for what it was and there was plenty of them to go around. It was also the go-to weapon for German snipers who affixed a scope to it. The gun is still in production today (albeit with modern style furniture), it is still the German army's drill rifle, some states still use versions of it as a sniper rifle and it's sometimes found in Iraq and other third world nations where it acts as a cheap marksman's rifle. Of course, it's also an excellent hunting rifle in civilian hands.

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUjPeAgvf3U '''''Gewehr 43'']:''' "Rifle 1943". the German army's semi-automatic rifle. This weapon was developed in response to their invasion of the Soviet Union, where the Germans were shocked to find Soviet troops brandishing semi-automatic rifles (the SVT-40, primarily), drastically out-gunning their troops in firefights. The result was a fairly decent semi-automatic rifle/carbine chambered for the same rounds as the Kar98k, which derived many of it's concepts, while not being an outright clone of, the SVT-40. The rifle's magazine was also not built-in in that its detachable (allowing for quick reloads) but still had the option of allowing the shooter to rapidly use stripper-clips when reloading (either attaching them directly to the weapon from above, or using them to push several bullets at once into a magazine which attached to the rifle below.) Much like the Kar98k, it worked well as a marksman/sniper's weapon when affixed with a scope. Unfortunately, mechanically it was far from perfect as it was overgassed (not surprising, as the gas pressure that was tapped from the barrel to cycle the semi-automatic action proved to be too strong for the rifle's quite complicated mechanism, especially when made by unskilled workers from lower-quality steel). This resulted in (comparatively) frequent breakdowns and shattered parts, in addition to requiring more maintenance. Copying overmuch from the SVT-40 may have also contributed to this problem, as the 7.62x54mmR cartridge in the SVT-40 produces a lower gas pressure than the 7.92x57mm Mauser. For this reason, the G43 wasn't a very popular weapon among German troops, though its firepower was still welcome. The G43 has an interesting legacy that lasts to this day, however. Engineers discovered that, on occasion, the roller lock could fire fully automatic, careful adjustments to the mechanics provided. This discovery lead to the Development of the '''Gerät 06''' or '''StG 45 (M)''' which was the ancestor of the roller-delayed blowback systems used in guns like the MP5 or the G3.

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdQhO8FtY7c '''''Maschinenpistole 38/40'']:''' "Machine pistol 1938/1940", the iconic MP 40 is a slightly updated variant more suitable for mass-production. The most common German submachine gun through the war used mainly by squad leaders and troops fighting in urban areas. It was also the go-to weapon of specialist units like paratroopers and the SS. Uses a 32-round magazine chambered for 9x19mm rounds and typically comes with a folding wire stock. In general pretty good for the time but only a million of them were produced, compared to the millions of SMGs made by the British, Americans and Soviets. [[Derp|The primary weapon of the Nazis, according to Hollywood at least, where every single German grunt has one.]] Known for its rather simplistic design; the weapon had only one fire setting (automatic), though its cyclical rate was much lower than equivalent Allied SMGs, allowing aimed single shots at the cost of some room-clearing power. Was a major influence that can still be seen in SMG development. There was also a MP 41, combining the core MP 40 with the proper wooden stock and fire selector of the MP 28. While very popular with the SS patent bullshit got in the way and they had to end production after just under 27,000 guns.

[[File:STG 44.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Few guns end up naming a whole class of weapons, the STG 44 is one of them]]
* [https://www.forgottenweapons.com/evolution-of-the-sturmgewehr-mp431-mp43-mp44-and-stg44/ '''''Sturmgewehr 44'']:''' The "Assault rifle 1944" or '''StG 44''' was the first assault rifle adopted on a large scale. Fun fact - the name was suggested by Hitler and was pure propaganda. Chambered for the new 7.92x33mm Kurz cartridge, it gave a rifleman the power and accuracy of a rifle with the rate of fire of a submachine gun. As its name suggests, it entered the war very late, even though it is only an updated version of the MKB42, which, as the name suggests, came into the war mid-early 1942. In a rare demonstration of common sense, Hitler vetoed its mass deployment early on due to logistics (replacing over 10 million '98k' rifles with a new model that used different ammo couldn't be done overnight, or cheaply), though he approved of the idea and changed his mind later in the war when it became clear a limited impact would be better than none at all. This, combined with the fact that producing the Stg44 required the industry to adapt their tooling, and recurrent shortages of resources later in the war, heavily limited the scale at which they were produced. It was not that difficult to make though, being to Kar98 what Panther was to Panzer IV - roughly 120% of resources for superior result. It also had some mechanical issues, including a fragile feed mechanism which could jam if the rifle was knocked over. Anecdote: one of its optional attachments was the ''Krummlauf'', a curved barrel and periscope for firing around corners or from inside a vehicle hatch. Yes, it worked, but the bullets often shattered as they skittered along the curve of the barrel, causing a shotgun-like spread, and the barrels wore out quickly. In any case, the troops who received the regular StG44 loved them because it gave the firepower of a submachine gun at about three times the effective range—and it was particularly interesting to the Russians, with contest for new "avtomat" design starting in 1943, even before StG 44 entered official mass production. Due to effectively already winning a war, USSR's Ministry of Defense decided that, instead of taking what they could in 1944, all designs should be perfected as neither suited demands perfectly (especially the one about the same weight as the Stg44 was deemed to be too heavy) - and we all know what the final result was after some young Red Army engineer named Mikhail Kalashnikov got his hands on a few. Some StG 44s remained in service in the East German ''Nationale Volksarmee'' until the 1960s.

* '''''Fallschirmjägergewehr 42'':''' "Paratrooper rifle 1942", and if a K98k and a MG42 could have a baby together this battle rifle would be it. Created in limited numbers for the exclusive use of German paratroopers. The high-ups realized that the K98k was too long for paratroopers, and the MP40 wasn't suitable outside of urban combat, so they wanted something that handled like a carbine but could fire like a machine gun. Beyond that Hermann Goring wanted his Luftwaffe airborne troops to have something a cut above what the regular Heer grunts to fortify his personal fiefdom in the Reich. The FG 42 was designed as a shorter, automatic battle rifle to give paratroops superior firepower, using a side-loading box magazine. Its high recoil made automatic fire inadvisable, as with later automatic high-caliber battle rifles such as the US M14. While it never really took off, it was quite the solid design, and is notable for influencing the design of the American M60 machine gun after the war.

*'''''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knPDsJyCpjI Kriegsmodell]''''': as the war dragged on and as the Germans got their fascist asses kicked across Europe, and their factory's and homes began to be leveled by Allied Bombers, the Germans started to try and make there equipment faster and cheaper. Starting at first with small changes here and there as they dropped some superfluous features, to at the end of the war they were cutting corners like it was crunch time at the Circle factory.
**'''''Volkssturmgewehr''''': Literal garbage guns made from parts of broken or defective weapons, surplus barrels and wood that barely deserves to be called so. Part of the vain efforts to make the Volkssturm units into anything resembling an organized fighting force and to make a quick and extremely cheap produced gun to defend what was left of Germany by 1945 and like the German war effort, utterly failed due to being too complicated. Yeah, the last ditch weapons that look like an Ork Mek would think they are too crude for his taste use in fact a fairly elaborate mechanism that put their price tag slightly above that of an StG 44.

*'''''MP-3008''''': Literally a British STEN Gun with the Mag rotated 90 degrees. The STEN was designed early in the war to be as cheap and easy to make as possible, the Germans captured a few of them over the course of the war, so the Germans decided to copy the damn thing late in the war as a desperation measure. A few thousand of them were made before the Nazi regime died.

* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zielgerät_1229 '''Zielgerät "Vampir"''']: Night vision rifle. Produced too late too few. Per usual Nazi gimmicks, quite capable, powerful, but not produced enough because the industrial base and time wasn't enough. Caused distress to Soviets briefly.

====Pistols====

[[File:Lugar Pistol.jpg|300px|thumb|left|The quintessential Bad Guy pistol]]

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIX1EL1hTmE '''''Pistole Parabellum 1908'']:''' "Pistol Parabellum 1908". The Nazis used a bunch of pistols in truth, but none are as iconic of the Third Reich as the P08 Luger with its joint armed breech. It could load an eight-round box magazine or a thirty-two-round drum. The 9x19mm Parabellum cartridge was initially designed for this pistol and is still one of the most common pistol calibers in the world. It was eventually phased out in favor of the P38 as being a standard-issue sidearm due to the Luger being too expensive to manufacture for the entire German army, although the Luger was still available for the troops and officers who could afford it. The Luger was also somewhat unique at the time in that it could still double as a pistol carbine by affixing a stock and a 32-round drum-magazine to it, when carbine-convertible pistols had started falling out of fashion years before. The exotic toggle-lock mechanism of the gun meant it had shitty reliability in field conditions, but the gun was made at a time when sidearms were typically issued to specialists, officers, and policemen, who were typically away from conditions that could foul up the gun. WW2 era produced Lugers go for several thousand dollars *today* as collectibles.

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXAMma6mUq8 '''Walther ''Pistole 38'']:''' "Walther Pistol 1938". The Walther P38 replaced the Luger P08 as the Wermacht service pistol just before World War II due to it being cheaper to produce. It loaded a 9x19mm eight-round detachable box magazine. Nerds will recognize this as G1 Megatron's alt-mode, and attentive [[James Bond]] fans will recall it seeing some use in ''Goldfinger''. MUCH more common than the Luger despite what Hollywood would tell you, and a decent pistol, if a bit annoying due to its hard-to-pull trigger. The Italians cloned its internals in the M1951, meaning the Beretta 92 is the P38's grandchild.

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vkU3CIPdMk '''Mauser ''Construktion 96'']:''' "Construction 1896". Popularly known as the "Boxcannon" (by the Chinese) and "Broomhandle" (by most everyone else); it loaded ten rounds from a stripper clip into an internal magazine, although there was also an option for a 20-round magazine that had the added bonus of the entire magazine being detachable instead of being built-into the weapon. The C96 was typically chambered for either the newer 9x19mm or the original 7.63x25mm rounds (which were so high velocity for a pistol cartridge of the time that they were only surpassed with the later development of the .357 Magnum). The C96 was not typically issued to the main German army during WW2—only the Luftwaffe were known users of the weapon during the war, as sidearms for their pilots. It was also one of the first and most iconic of the pistol carbine designs, innovating the wooden holster that could double as a detachable stock, making it (and Spanish and Chinese knockoffs) extremely popular in areas like China where proper longarms might be either too expensive or banned from import. However, by the 30s and 40s, this feature had fallen out of fashion in the West and wasn't included in newer production models, with only a few being modified to restore the functionality. Nerds will recognize this as Han Solo's DL-44 blaster pistol from the original ''Star Wars'' trilogy, with some gubbins glued to it to make it more sci-fi.

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4COZpIw9UMI '''Walther Polizeipistole/Polizeipistole Kurz''']: "Police Pistol/Police Pistol short". You know this one, it's the gun made popular by Ian Fleming and [[James Bond]] super-spy character. The Walther PP is a compact pistol that was typically issued to German police units (Kripo, Gestapo, Gefepo and Feldgendarmerie), but also as a sidearm to military officers and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Rz-jKH_V04 senior party members]. The PPK variant was an even smaller version of the PP, designed for concealed carry in mind (in fact it was so small that it can typically fit into the sleeves of most longcoats, making it useful for infiltrators). It could come chambered for either 7.65mm (.32 ACP to Americans) or 9x17mm (.380 Auto) rounds. The Cold War era Soviet Makarov pistol would largely be based on the PP pistols, though in a (slightly) more powerful cartridge known as 9x18 or 9mm Makarov (which is actually thicker than the now ubiquitous 9x17/9mm Parabellum, since Soviets measured width from a different part of the cartridge). The PPK and cheaper clones (such as the Bersa Thunder, in .380 ACP or 9mm Kurz "Short") are readily available today and basically never stopped production. If you're looking to buy one in the states, be aware that there have been several license holders: Interarms (1978-1999, truest to the original design), S&W (2002-on, have had some recalls over serious defects), and Black Creek (1999-2001, very limited numbers).

====Machine Guns====

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfJkU4Sah8I '''''Maschinengewehr 42'']:''' "Machine gun 1942". German military doctrine during WWII was built around the machine gun and, as such, the Germans developed an exceptional machine gun in the MG 42 (basically an improved but functionally identical version of the earlier MG 34). It was lightweight at 11.7 kg, was belt fed unlike the magazine fed LMGs it usually went against, and it could nominally fire 1,200 rounds per minute (although, in practice, it was actually even faster) while most other machine guns could barely reach 600. That much [[dakka]] causes a lot of heat, so the gun was designed for easy swapping of barrels; although even with the barrels being regularly changed it was not uncommon for these guns to fire so fast that a cartridge would ignite before being fully loaded, completely breaking the gun and potentially injuring the gun's crew. Its terrifying rate of fire and distinctive report earned it the nickname "Hitler's Buzzsaw". The core idea of the MG42 was the universal machine gun. the German army would not have Heavy Machines, light machine guns or medium machine guns or anti air machine gun, it would just have the one machine gun. That stupidly high rate of fire was so in a situation it had to shoot at enemy air craft it would be able to put enough lead in the air to make it possible to hit something, quick change barrels let it put a high sustained fire out without being water cooled, and it was light enough to be man portable: it did it all. The MG 42 was the basis for numerous other weapons throughout the Cold War (and is still used in NATO-forces today as MG3, they only changed to NATO-standard-caliber and reduced the firing rate to actually be 1200 rounds per minute, as opposed to the 1500 rpm of the original MG42). The MG3 is still widely exported and its production licensed to NATO and allies. A ''double barrel'' variant of the MG3 was also produced as a ''low cost Minigun alternative''.

* '''''Maschinengewehr 34'':''' The predecessor to the MG 42, it was still in wide use at the start of the war. It had a lower, more controllable rate of fire of around 800-900 RPM, and had a single-shot mode that was removed in the MG 42. Its production went on parallel to the MG 42 because its swing-down barrel-swap method was more compatible with vehicle ball mounts than MG 42's slide-open method, so all MGs seen on German tanks even late in the war were still MG 34's.

*'''''Maschinengewehr 08/15''''': A mid-WW1 improvement on the regular MG 08 of the Imperial German army. It was developed as an answer to the problem that infantry in the field often had problems in the field to assault positions with no support from automatic weapons and the standard MG 08 being too heavy and too cumbersome to carry around. The result saw the mounting of the MG 08 being replaced by a bipod and the coolant jacket being reduced in size and volume, bringing down its weight from almost 40 kilos down to a more comfortable 20, and the addition of a shoulder stock also made it possible to use it like a more modern LMG.By modern standards, still way too heavy to reliably use it in that particular role, but it worked well enough for the Germans that they continued to improve on it, leading to its late (and due to the end of WW1 ultimately ineffective) , fully air-cooled version of the LMG 08/18, which did away with water cooling entirely, reducing its weight down to 16 kilos, actually making it comparable to guns like the Lewis Gun (Also the reason why Drum-fed LMGs never catched on in the German military, as Germany was forbidden to develop any new automatic weapons under the Versailles treaty conditions). The 08/15 remained the standard MG for the Reichswehr and even the early Wehrmacht. Loads of them remained in stockpile well into the war, where they were issued to rear and police units for what the Nazis called "Anti-Partisan action", with reports of the weapons being used tracking all the way into late 1941 and 1942. Fun fact: The gun was so ubiquotous and regular training tasks on it so tedious, that the word "nullachtfünfzehn" (Zero-Eight-Fifteen) entered the German language as a derogatory term for something mediocre, uninspired and boring.

====Anti-Tank Infantry Weapons====

* '''''Hafthohlladung'':''' In English, "Attachable Shaped Charge" (get used to this very literal naming scheme, it continues below). Very soon into the war, the Germans realized they would never have enough tanks and AT guns to go around, so they developed weapons that would allow an infantryman to (in theory, at least) deal with a tank. The Hafthohlladung was such an early attempt. A big AT grenade with three magnets that allowed it to stick to any metallic surface, it would make a nice hole into any tank it was attached to... Which makes the weapon's main drawback immediately clear: [[Tankbustas|running up to an operational tank to slap a bomb to its flank wasn't exactly safe]]. In theory, you could also try to [[Genestealer#Genestealer_Cults|wait and hide in ambush]] for the tank to pass close by since visibility from inside a tank wasn't that great, but that would require being able to anticipate the path of the tank (without accidentally getting run over), and tanks were often supported by infantry anyway. At the very least, they were less suicidal than the Japanese "lunge mine." The Hafthohlladung wasn't really a successful weapon and saw only limited use, but it paved the way for the next item on the list:

* '''''Panzerfaust'':''' "Armor fist", or, more literally, "tank fist". A disposable one-shot anti-armor weapon for use against tanks and entrenched positions. Really cheap to produce, lightweight, and able to do a lot of damage to tanks at close range (maximum range being at most 150 meters for the later models). And it was really easy to use: hold in crook of the arm, flip a switch up that becomes an iron sight (and also arms the weapon), aim, squeeze the firing lever, and enjoy the fireworks. The basic idea of how they were used was to give one guy in every squad (or more) one of them so that if a tank ever did get close, there was a chance they'd be able to take it out or do some damage. This, among other things, made allied generals wary about sending tanks to clear out German infantry forces, especially among the ambush-friendly hedgerows of northern Europe. That said, Panzerfausts were useless for trying to snipe at tanks from a distance (with an effective range of about 60m of the most produced versions) and could not be reloaded with another rocket, preventing most troops from carrying more than one shot on their person. In the last days of the war, the Nazis gave these to grannies and kids on the off-chance that they could destroy an allied tank when they rolled into town. In fact, it was so cheap to produce every member of late Volkssturm was generally issued one, while every third was lucky enough to be issued a rifle. Looked like a fist in a tube, hence the name. Its general design was later copied by the Russians, eventually used in the RPG-2 and RPG-7 rocket launchers. The concept of the Panzerfaust is still very much alive in the form of many "Light Anti-tank Weapons" (M72, AT4, MATADOR,...) in use today.

* '''''Panzerschreck'':''' "Armor terror", or "tank fright". A reusable anti-tank rocket launcher based off captured American bazookas, and you can almost imagine the Nazi scientist getting one and saying "[[Ork|Bigga is Betta!]]"! (Although the actual reaction was probably also: "VHY DIDN'T VE ZHINK OF ZHAT!!!", see next item on the list.) The Panzerschreck was larger than the Bazooka, with an 88mm muzzle size (where the first Bazooka was only 60mm)—in fact, it is still larger than most rocket launchers and mortars in use today. Like the Bazooka, but unlike the Panzerfaust, it could be reloaded, and had a longer range than the Faust bar the latest version. The Panzerschreck has a distinctive steel blast shield in front, which has to do with the larger rocket blowing hot exhaust into the users face. Early models without the shield ended up requiring the operator to wear a gasmask and protective poncho (which must have sucked for the first person to test it, before they figured that out). The Panzershreck was more useful as an offensive weapon than the Panzerfaust, since it was capable of easily penetrating the armor of any tank they faced (and at better ranges) thanks to the bigger rocket. But on the other hand, it was very much a temperamental weapon that required trained operators, so its use was restricted to dedicated tank hunter teams (unlike the Panzerfaust, which was simple enough that a 10-year old kid could handle it).

*'''''Sturmpistole'':''' An early attempt at making a lightweight anti-tank weapon, the sturmpistole was little more than a modified flare gun equipped with a stock and sighting system, and fired oversized warheads out of the muzzle like the Panzerfaust. Unlike the panzerfaust, it didn't see much success due to the small size of the warhead.

*'''''Raketenwerfer 43'':''' At the time Germany [[Blood Ravens|acquired]] the Bazooka and refined it into Panzerschreks, they had there own version of a two-man team rocket based anti-tank weapon: the Raketenwerfer 43 a.k.a. the "Puppchen" or "Little Doll". Why such a weird nickname? Because it was, for all purposes and intent, a miniature artillery piece: wheeled and towed and working from a a closed breech exactly like the rest of the German field guns and howitzers (except it fired rockets). Despite its better range and accuracy it was more expensive and harder to make then the Panzerschreck or Bazooka, so not nearly as many of them were made as compared to 'schrecks.

*'''''Panzerwurfmine'':''' "Mine to be thrown at tanks" (don't say we didn't warn you about the names). Another attempt at allowing infantrymen to deal with a tank, this is basically a shaped charge with deployable stabilizing cloth fins that was thrown overhand to land on the top a tank and blow a nice, big hole through it. Cheap to produce and very efficient, but it required lots of practice to use, so it was only given to trained "[[Tankbustas|tank-hunter]]" teams. The Russians captured some of those, were duly impressed, and promptly refined the German concept into their own "RPG-6" AT hand grenade that was just as cheap and efficient but way easier to use, and so good it was still part of their arsenal when the Soviet Union fell and can still be found all over the world in relatively low-intensity conflicts. Sure, it won't kill a modern tank, but it sure as hell will kill third-world militia in up-gunned Toyotas.

*'''Various AT-Rifles''': Germany utilized a lot of AT-Rifles at the very beginning of the war, just like every other major power at the time did, and just like their counterparts, they became obsolete really, really quickly, with only the USSR really committing to their use thorughout the entirety of the war. Here are some of the AT-Rifles the Germans used.
**'''''Tankgewehr M1918''''': The daddy of the AT-Rifle and, in a sense, most anti-materiel rifles to this day. Developed near the end of WW1 by the German Empire in search of an reliable alternative to light or medium field guns in the role of anti-tank weaponry. It essentially is a Mauser Gewehr 98 on steroids firing a massive 13mm round that could penetrate up 20 millimeters of armour on ranges of 100 meters and below. It needed a lot of training to make it work right; the recoil was reported to be strong enough to dislocate a mans shoulder if used incorrectly and even if done right, the marksman would become nauseous after just 2 or 3 shots at maximum. To put it in perspective: Imagine firing a gun, whose recoil feels like a seasoned boxer just hit you in the nuts. The Wehrmacht used some of them that were still lying around in arsenals all over Germany and some they took from the Polish army.
**'''''Panzerbüchse 39''''': Or "Tank Rifle Model 39". Whereas other nations like the British and the Soviets tried to improve their AT-Rifles by using larger calibers with bigger powder charges (the British used a .55 cartridge, the Soviets 14,5 by 114 millimeters), the Germans actually made their bullets smaller, using a 7,92mm by 94 cartridge. The idea was basically to increase the kinetic force of the bullet through speed instead of mass and it sorta worked, the PzB 39 was comparable to most other AT-Rifles of the time. It's shortcomings main came from (as is tradition) overengineering; the PzB 39 was a breech-loading rifle (like an artillery gun) and the action was expensive and labour-intensive to produce. Additionally, unlike most of its comtemporaries and even some of the other AT-Rifles the Germans used, it was single shot only (The Boys AT Rifle had a 5 round magazine, as did the Soviet PTRS-41). The rifle proved barely effective already in Poland and France and was subsequently either phased out or coverted into grenade launchers.
**'''''Panzerbüchse SS41''''': An insanely complicated, impractical marvel of engineering developed specifically for SS troops. The need for alternative weapons for the Waffen-SS divisions arose when Himmler wanted to use the SS alongside traditional Wehrmacht units; however the Wehrmacht Generals disliked the idea of a paramilitary force loyal only to the Nazi party, yet alone an army of glorified thugs and some political lobbying lead to the Wehrmacht keeping its monopoly on all weapons produced by the german arms industry, a priviledge the SS didn't have, so Himmler sourced weapons from all over Europe and took whatever he could get his filthy hands on (In spite of what /pol/lacks and Wehraboos might tell you, most SS units were poorly equipped and used a huge variety of surplus or obsolete rifles, submachineguns and looted guns). The SS41 differs in this regard as it was developed in secret specifically for the SS in Czechia from prototypes the Czechs developed on their own before their annexation into the Greater German Reich. Cycling this monstrous contraption requires the soldier operating it to slide the entire forward assembly forwards and backwards, a process that looks as awesome as it was tedious. Speaking of looks, this gun is really a beauty, you gonna hand it to them, and a Bullpup design on top of that. It fired the same 7.92 by 94mm cartridge the PzB 39 used, so it's fair to say that it didn't take long to become obsolete and surviving examples are exceedingly rare.
**'''''Solothurn S18/1000''''': A ludicrously massive gun more akin to a cannon than anything else. Developed as part of the German schemes to gain access to modern firearms in spite of the conditions of the Versailles treaty in the late 20s. It was in fact so large that the Swiss put wheels on it and called it a cannon. It fired a FUCKHUEG 20mm round and needed 3 men or operate and carry it and built the basis of nearly all automatic cannons the German military developed and used through out the war.

====Misc====

* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M30_Luftwaffe_drilling '''''M30 Luftwaffe Drilling'']:''' The Germans had never been too keen on combat shotguns for various reasons (during WWI Kaiser Wilhelm was famously mocked for his protests that the American use of pump-action shotguns constituted a war crime), but the emergent Luftwaffe air force saw the need for equipping their pilots with survival weapons, in the event that they were shot down far from friendly forces and needed to hunt or defend themselves. They decided on a drilling combination gun (a double-barreled shotgun with a single-shot rifle barrel) as the ideal solution. However, the Luftwaffe's commander Hermann Goering had a propensity for being vain and flashy instead of practical, and chose the fancy high-end hunting rifles that aristocrats would purchase, instead of putting out an order for [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M6_Aircrew_Survival_Weapon cheap, mass-produced weapons that would get the job done] at a fraction of the cost. As a result, the few surviving M30 drillings are extremely collectible and valueable.

*'''''[[Looted|Captured Weapons]]''''': Due to necessity and practicality, German troops also commonly used enemy equipment from all sides, predominantly Soviet weapons due to their large sweeps during the first stage of the invasion of Russia. To ease supply concerns, some weapons were converted to use standard German ammunition like the ''PPSh-41 submachine-gun'' (which was converted from 7.62x25mm to 9x19mm), while others actually had new Soviet-style ammunition made for them in converted factories.

*Camouflage pattern battledress for infantrymen. Well, okay, the Italians came up with the idea in the 1920s, but it was the Germans who mass produced it and issued it on a large scale.

*'''''Fliegerfaust''''': The very first MANPAD ever developed to be used against airplanes. Originally an offshoot of the Panzerschreck development program, the Fliegerfaust was supposed to offer decent firepower against low-altitude CAS aircraft for the lowly infantryman. In essence, it worked like an 8-barreled Panzerschreck, where the closing of an electric circuit fired a bundle of small, 2-cm charges up to 300 meters into the air like a shotgun, causing a small cloud of explosions and shrapnel to envelop the target for a brief amount of time. It was never used in any capacity whatsoever, as it was very late to arrive to the party (development started in mid 1944, with serial production planned to begin in March 1945). Only about 80 prototypes from field trials were captured by the end of the war by the allies and influenced modern MANPADS like the FIM-92 Stinger to a great degree.

===Artillery pieces and AT-Guns===

*'''''Granatwerfer 36''''': Leave it to the Germans to overengineer a simple tube that spits out explosives. This little critter was supposed to serve as light, indirect fire support on the squad level and a bunch of gizmos tacked onto it that made aiming with it a hell of a lot easier - too bad the small caliber (5cm) limited its range and effectiveness in its intended role. Production was terminated in 1941, the reason given that the thing was too complex and too heavy, which in hindsight is a real headscratcher, as to why the High Command didn't come to this conclusion sooner (especially since the thing offered no significant advantage over rifle Grenades) , although it remained in use throughout the rest of the war.
*'''''Leichtes Infantriegeschütz 18''''': The LeIG 18 was an evolution of the proven and reliable "Leichter Minenwerfer 18", the German answer to the Stokes Mortar that the British used. The idea was to give out a light field artillery piece to take out targets that sat in the niche of targets that were too insignificant to justify a full barrage or tank assault, too strongly defended or entrenched to just assault them solely with infantry. Think isolated pillboxes or MG-Nests holding a minor strongpoint. The odd naming stems from the conditions of the Versailles treaty, to give the Reichswehr plausible deniability for any curious allied noses poking in to German arms research.
*'''''8-cm Granatwerfer 34''''': A carbon copy of the Stokes Mortar. Yes, really.
*'''''15-cm Schweres Infanterie Geschütz 33''''': The largest gun that any given Infantry battallion had on offer. Fired 38 kilograms of explosives over considerable distances, and also served as the main armament of the Sturmpanzer IV.
*'''''Leichte Feldhaubitze (LeFH) 18''''': Another oddly named design, this 'Light Field Howitzer' was the most common field gun of the German army. Efficient enough early in the war thanks to its 105mm caliber, it was eventually held back by considerable downsides that became apparent too late (too heavy, too difficult to move around and rather short range of around 10 km). When it became clear that the LeFH 18 really couldn't compare with Allied artillery pieces (like the Soviet 152 mm ML-20 howitzer, American M114 155 mm howitzer, which delivered heavier payloads or the British QF-25-Pounder, which fired much quicker), various improvements over the course of the war were attempted to keep it relevant. But ultimately it was outdated by 1941, and never could close the gap again.
*'''''3,7-cm PaK 36''''': Probably the most advanced AT-Gun in the interwar period, but often gets a bad rep from reports of German soldiers, who had to fire the thing at Churchills, T-34s and other more modern tanks, earning it the moniker "Heeresanklopfkanone", or "The Heer's (German armed forces) door knocking cannon". Its major boons however were its very light weight and the perfected design of its mounting, making it very easy to transport and move. Seeing how much the German army invested in this gun before the war (over 9000 being built when the war started and an additional 5500 until 1941) they tried their damndest to keep the thing relevant even when it was very clear it could no longer keep up. Still, a remarkable and groundbreaking design for the early thirties, with 6000 being sold abroad and Japan, the USSR and even the United States outright copying the design with few modifications.
*'''''5-cm PaK 38''''': Practically identical to the 5-cm gun of the Panzer III. The PaK 38s bigger, beefier brother, intended to fight off bigger tanks the light 3,7-cm couldn't handle - with very mediocre results. That is, until Germans made APCR for them in 1942, at which point they accounted for most [[T-34]]s and [[KV]]s losses of the time. However, those APCR required tungsten, and Third Reich didn't have much of it, sooo...
*[[PaK-40_Anti-Tank_Gun|'''''7,5-cm PaK 40''''']]: ...this masterpiece was made. The first design that came onto the scene with WW2 in mind. Introduced in 1942, it was very effective design that in the latter half of the war ultimately became the most AT-Gun the Germans used. Retained relevance all the way to 1945, with Soviets and Britts making heavy tanks that could comfortably take it out only in 1944, and even then those weren't impervious. With its' high penetration and low profile, the only problem PaK-40 had was the ungodly kick that literally dug ground spades in after every shot, making it difficult to maneuver if outflanked. Modified versions of it became the main armament of a lot of German Tanks and Tank destroyers, the most notable of it being the Panther and the Jagdpanzer IV.
*'''''8-cm PAW 600''''': Hilariously obscure as far as this list goes, the ''Panzerabwehrwerfer 600''/8H63 was developed as the war progressed and Germany was finding its anti-tank weapons got to be stuck with the dichotomy of either being too immobile to adapt to battlefield conditions with its biggest AT guns or having too short-range to properly handle a regiment's anti-tank defense in full with its Panzerschrecks. Thus, the PAW 600 was designed to be lighter than other AT guns by the use of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High–low_system the High-low system] leading to a smoothbore gun that fired high explosive anti-tank rounds. The design was even atypically made with consideration for logistics by basing its rounds off of the Granatwerfer 34 mortars' to make continued use of existing manufacturing tooling and it theoretically could have fired any other ammunition that would go into a Granatwerfer 34 (such as high-explosive or smoke rounds) which would have been noteworthy at the time since usual AT-guns firing high-explosive rounds really didn't do much since not much explosive filler fit into the thick walls of high-velocity rounds...but as mentioned, the thing was hilariously obscure and only 260 of them ever got built, so accounts of them actually having been used at all is very sparse - there was a statement from a Major in 15th/19th The King's Royal Hussars that they were used against the regiment near the River Aller on April 14th, 1945 to provide some evidence that the weapon had any effect on a battle in the war at all.
*[[PaK-43|'''''8,8-cm PaK 43''''']]: A modified version of the infamous 8,8-cm Flak gun, stripped down to its essentials and with a longer barrel, wheeled carriage and gunshield to act as an AT-gun. Other than that, they're basically identical.
*'''''12,8-cm PaK 44''''': The biggest, baddest AT-gun any side ever devised. One could argue that it was probably overkill, as it was so impractical and heavy that any use outside of fortified positions would be pointless. Given that the gun was designed when the war effort started to really go south and Germany found itself in a defensive war, probably a negligible downside, but then again, it didn't really seem to make any difference in the end. Some were used as part of the Siegfried Line and the Defense of Berlin, but they were very rare and the only examples that remain today are the ones built into the surviving Jagdtigers and the Maus.

===Vehicles===
====Tanks====
German tanks were in general well designed, but in hindsight were overengineered and prone to breakdowns in the field. For example, take their ''Schachtellaufwerk'' (interleaved roadwheels system for tracks). The idea was: more roadwheels = weight distributed more evenly over track = less ground pressure = less bogging down and/or a higher maximum load. It was also supposed to lessen tank shaking and allow to fire (relatively) accurately on the move. Great idea on paper, and a pretty good one when testing prototypes at home... but an absolute hell on the Eastern front, where the almost supernaturally awful mud (or ''rasputitza'') infiltrated between the wheels before freezing and breaking everything. Cue hour after hour of work for the maintenance teams, removing the track and wheels for cleaning before mounting them again [[FAIL|each and every time the goddamn tank sortied]], where a more traditional slack-track system would have required much less cleaning. And those were just added on top of the already quite large list of ''traditional'' mechanical breakdowns that plagued any and all vehicle pool of the epoch...

Another big weakpoint in the German Panzerwaffe was the lack of standardization between the individual tank models. The Allies, more or less made the variations of their Tanks (which were standardized for every company and factory making them) from existing Models and fitted them with weapons they deemed appropriate for the task at hand([[Leman Russ (tank)|just like the Leman Russ in fact]]), which eased supply and maintenance whereas the Germans designed entirely new vehicles for every purpose across multiple manufacturers with their own specifications, tooling and production lines. In practice, this meant that parts between German vehicle types were mostly incompatible with each other (i.e. a gear made for a Panzer IV "A" could not go into a Panzer IV "J", compared to T-34s being basically entirely compatible.) and it quickly became a logistical nightmare to sufficiently supply all tank units with spare parts or even fuel (The Germans never could make their minds up if they preferred Gasoline or Diesel). That's not to say that they didn't know or realize this (thoughts in this direction lead into the E-Series of design studies, planned to be a series of tank models that more or less shared all parts with each other except armament and chassis) but by 1944 Germany lacked the industrial capacity and resources to switch to a more economical model of production. Furthermore, the German model of tank production didn't help too; all of the German tanks were hand-crafted, using expensive and elaborate methods with strict tolerances to produce the best results they could offer which becomes redundant when you compare it to the production streets of the T-34 and the Sherman that were put out by the dozens. The "5 to 1 ratio" of allied vs German Tanks is as much the result of the Modus Operandi of the German war industry as it is of failed planning, overly complicated designs, fascist inefficiency and having the SHIT bombed out of them.

In the end, the true selling point of the ''Panzerwaffe'' was not the tanks themselves, but instead, primarily, the tactics of using them, the crew members manning them, the mechanics supporting them, and the radios installed in every tank that allowed for a level of coordination between tanks, infantry, and artillery not seen before the start of WWII (which formed the core of ''Blitzkrieg'' tactics). This, along with some powerful late-war designs, occasionally gave German tanks an edge over Allied tanks until production problems, stability issues and most of all fuel shortages became overwhelming.

German tanks are called "''Panzer''", which when directly translated means "''armor''", and more specifically is the shortened version of "''Panzerkampfwagen''" (Armored Fighting Vehicle). The name is often abbreviated to just "PzKpfw" or even "Pz". The habit of naming tanks, airplanes and other pieces of equipment, like the V3 gun after animals, mostly predators, was introduced after a suggestion by Goebbels in 1944 to increase the propagandistic value of the vehicles. This is why earlier vehicles have none of these names and were named "at face value". At no point in time did these nicknames show up in official records of the Wehrmacht aside from anecdotal mentions in field reports. The official records of the Heereswaffenamt (Army armory office) used the ''Sonderkraftfahrzeug'' ("Special purpose vehicle", Sd.Kfz. in short) system of designations instead.
* '''Panzer I:''' Designed and produced in defiance of the Treaty of Versailles, the ''Panzerkampfwagen I'' was the first Nazi tank. It was small, weighing only 5.4 tonnes, and was armed only with two MG-13 machine guns. Some 1,493 were made, and were most notable in that they allowed tank crews to be trained, and (after being sent to Spain) let tank doctrines be developed that later allowed the Nazis to take over Poland. They saw some use at the beginning of WWII, but were pretty soon deemed to be out of date even on scouting missions. Until they were deemed totally obsolete, they were continuously upgraded and specialized, and had several variants including a potential recon paratrooper-tank. Primary Nazi tank of the Condor legion in the Spanish Civil War. [[File:Panzer I.PNG|thumb|right|300px|Mein Herr! Can't ve get somezing better zan zis Panzer I?]] As with a lot of Nazi tanks that became obsolete, the old PzKpfw I's were sometimes stripped to the chassis and repurposed for things such as artillery and tank-destroyer roles, though this was relatively rare. Should also be noted the Panzer I is the textbook example on a tankette rather then a full tank, though since early WW2 would define the important strategic difference of tankettes vs tanks its no surprising it became the primary armoured vehicle before the war.
* [[Panzer_II|'''Panzer II:''']] The ''Panzerkampfwagen II'' was designed using the experience gained in the Spanish Civil War. Heavier than the Panzer I at 8.9 tonnes, it was designed as a stopgap, as the Panzer III and IV were experiencing delays in production. It was armed with a dinky automatic 20mm cannon that was little better than an anti-tank rifle. Common during the early war, it was made obsolete by the arrival of the Panzer III and IV, and relegated to reconnaissance duties, training, or conversion into open-topped tank destroyers. Much like it's younger brother, it too was pushed through several variants; however, instead of trying to upgrade it to stay in main-line action, it was turned into a better scout tank so that the Panzer III could take over the main-line role. Primary Nazi tank for the invasion of Poland and France.
** '''Panzer II Ausf. L "Luchs"''': The final version of the Panzer II with a redesigned turret housing the same 2cm-autocannon in a new turret and a modified chassis. Speedy little bugger (it could reach up to 60 kph under optimal conditions) that served as a scouting verhicle for the tank divisions, with 100 being built.
* [[Panzer_III|'''Panzer III:''']] One of the two main German tanks of the war, the ''Panzerkampfwagen III'' was about when Germany really got the hang of this whole tank design thing. Introduced in 1939, it weighed 23 tonnes, carried a 37mm anti tank gun, and notably had a turret big enough for three guys (which is actually more important than you might think, as it allows the crew to share the workload, e.g., the Loader's only task would be to load the gun with correct ammo in as short time as possible, the Gunner focuses on aiming and firing the gun, while the Commander can retain situational awareness and, well, give orders). Contemporary tanks usually had two- or even one-man turrets, forcing the crew to share responsibilities, thus lowering combat efficiency. The Panzer III was designed from the ground up to engage enemy tanks, rather than the infantry and light vehicles of earlier models. In Poland, France, and North Africa it did well, even though some French vehicles still outgunned them. Against Soviet T-34s, however, it was completely insufficient, unless upgraded to a 50mm gun and firing APDS. Thankfully, unlike the French and Russians, the Panzer III were all equipped with radios, allowing them to out-maneuver the un-radioed yet otherwise better tanks. Production stopped in 1942, but since they had built 5,774 of them, they stayed in service until the end of the war. The chassis was used to produce the StuG assault cannon (although "Geschütz" is hard to translate to English: it's neither a mere gun, nor a cannon, being more of a tank destroyer, i.e., a "sniper"-style tank), which would be the most widely produced German vehicle of the war. Switched roles with Panzer IV to become the infantry support tank with short barrelled howitzer, though this was soon also replaced with a dual-purpose gun. Primary Nazi tank for the invasion of Soviet Union.
* [[Panzer_IV|'''Panzer IV:''']] Ultimately the most common German made tank, with nearly 9,000 units being built over the course of the war (now compare numbers with those nearly 50,000 Shermans and 61,000 T-34s), the ''Panzerkampfwagen IV'' was the Panzer III's big brother. The Panzer IV was originally intended to be used against infantry and was armed with a low-velocity 75mm gun for blowing stuff up with explosive shells. After the invasion of Russia they switched to a 50mm anti-tank gun, and later a 75mm high-velocity cannon while also being up-armored to an absolute weight limit of a chassis. After that upgrade, it was generally on par with the T-34 and M4 Sherman (on average, at least — they had a less powerful engine, but better optics). Unlike early Soviet tanks, every Panzer IV generally had a working a radio receiver. It's chassis became the foundation of many German vehicles of all classifications. Primary Nazi tank from 1942 to the end of the war in 1945.
* [[Panther|'''Panzer V Panther:''']] The Panther was introduced in 1943 and is often argued to be the the best tank of the war. It copied many features of the T-34 and improved on them. It was listed as a "medium tank," despite weighing in at 44.8 tonnes (due to the Germans attributing a class with the intended use in mind, not weight). Its 75mm/L70 gun was one of the most powerful tank guns of the war, and could destroy any Allied tank. Quite mobile for its weight, its frontal armor was more effective than that of the Tiger's thanks to sloping. It truly was a swift and hard as nails death machine... when it was in working order, that is. The Panther was rushed into service and had even more mechanical problems than the Tiger did due to its rushed design. The transmission, for example, broke down on averag after just 250 kilometers (that's 155 miles for you yanks) of use, leading to a lot of abandoned tanks. On the plus side, the Panther was only about 20% more expensive to produce than the Panzer IV, and the Germans managed to produce 6,000 of them, though switching over did cost them in terms of other production due to the necessary retooling time. Along with the Tiger, the Panther was enough of a threat for the Western Allies to up-gun their Shermans (the 'Firefly' with the British 17-pounder gun and the multiple American (76) variants sporting a more powerful 76 mm gun) and the Soviets to make up-armored and up-gunned T-34-85's (with, you guessed it, a 85 mm gun in the turret). Along with the aforementioned US and Soviet tanks, the Panther eventually became one inspiration for the post-war "Main Battle Tank" concept, the other being the British Centurion. An upgraded Panther II was planned, but never entered production. [[File:Panther_Tank.jpg|thumb|left|300px|Zis vill do nicely! Danke!... Gott im Himmel, zat's a lot of Shermans!]]In recent years the tank has been associated with a phenomenon known as the "Panther Paradox" based on its general consensus as one of the wars best tanks. Essentially the tank itself, on paper, should vastly outclass the Sherman and T-34 in combat and isn't much more expensive to build compared to the Panzer IV, yet when looking at the actual performance the Panther performed horribly. The actual answer comes in the form of "hard" values and "soft" values."Hard" values are the typical stuff...Armor, speed, fire-power..."Soft" values are things like price, crew comfort, maintenance etc. While the Panther got top marks in the former, it was pretty terrible in the latter. The moral of the story kids is that what makes an effective weapon can't be narrowed down to a bunch of values you can put on the back of a cereal box.
* [[Tiger_1|'''Panzer VI Tiger:''']] Even before invading Russia and France, the generals of the Wehrmacht sent requests for a tank that could be called "heavy", that would be used in a "schwerpunkt" to crash any resistance and allow its' smaller brothers to exploit the breakthrough. The work on heavy tanks begun in 1937, but first prototypes were a far cry from a monster Nazis rolled out in 1942. The so-called "Durchbruchwagen" (Breakthrough tank), or DW for short, had many iterations, with many problems, such as faulty transmission, overloaded and unreliable chassis and failed unification with Pz.III (yes, that Pz.III, the medium tank, that was also developed in 1937-1938) lengthening the project significantly. It culminated in Typ 100 Leopard, a tank with a 100mm armor and 88mm gun, a project of which was completed in March 1941. However, the shock of encountering previously unknown Soviet KV-1s and T-34s spurred the actual implementation of heavy tanks as perceived German tank superiority was shattered. The Nazi top brass took this as a challenge to refine existing prototypes into the ultimate heavy tanks, and the result of said project were "the Big Cats". The first of these was the Panzerkampfwagen VI Tiger heavy tank, built essentially around Typ 100 turret and gun, which entered service in 1942 (yes, the Pz. V actually came out after the VI did). "Heavy" definitely described the Tiger: it weighed 54 tonnes, had a 690 hp engine, had up to 100mm of armor, could reach its 40 kph in good conditions to keep with the little guys and was armed with a hueg 88mm cannon that could take out a T-34 or Sherman from 2 kilometers with ease. In fact, it could do this to ''any tank the Allies would have at any point of the war'' from one kilometer away, barring IS-2s and Churchill VIIs. Despite this, the Tiger was over-engineered mechanically and somewhat under-designed chassis-wise. It was expensive, a drain on strategical resources and labor intensive to build, had reliability issues, and was [https://youtu.be/CVDDtbiGDxA?t=148 horribly maintenance-intensive one in the field]. Since the groundwork for the Tiger was laid out pre-Barbarossa, it did not implement the sloped armor concept of the T-34, which made the Tiger heavier and slower than it could have been for the same armor effectiveness. In short, it was essentially an upgraded Pz. IV and therefore a [[Metal Boxes|metal box]]. Only 1,347 Tigers were built, but they did have an effect on Allied morale. In one instance a single Tiger destroyed most of the 22nd Armoured Brigade and forced them to retreat (Battle of Villers-Bocage). The Tiger is without a doubt the most famous tank of WWII, known even to those illiterates who think WWII was only fought between America and Germany, and if most video games are to be believed, every Nazi tank was a Tiger. That is, however, somewhat understandable given just how often allied tankers yelled 'Tiger' whenever they lost a tank, even to a regular Pz IV (which could be mistaken for a Tiger at a distance). The Tiger and Panther tanks, like a used car, came with an owner's manual (the Tigerfibel and Pantherfibel, respectively), and Heinz Guderian (great German general with an ego that would make MacArthur seem modest, who wrote memoirs that are both very good as a literature and very bad as a primary source) wanted every tank crew to read the manual. But even back then, people understood just how few guys actually read the instruction manual for anything. So it was written as a fun book to read, with humor, poetry, and naked girls alongside the information about how to use two of the most famous heavy tanks to be fielded in WWII.
* [[Tiger_II|'''Tiger II:''']] The Tiger II, sometimes known as the King Tiger (from an incorrect translation of ''Königstiger'', meaning "Bengal Tiger", but which literally translates to "Royal Tiger"), was the ultimate German tank, and introduced in 1944 as a successor to the Tiger. It weighed 68.5 tonnes (more than most modern tanks) and had 150mm of frontal armor, which was even sloped (a huge step forward from the boxy Tiger I)! Even so, between limited resources and an increasingly bombed-out industrial base, only 492 of these behemoths rolled off the assembly line before the war ended. These tanks were considered to be just as temperamental as the Tiger I, but for different reasons. The designers learned how to fix some of the problems with the Tiger I, and promptly over-built the Tiger II even more after patching the holes, because they thought they had wiggle room or something. It was damn near unkillable, but a fuel guzzler to the extreme, barely maneuvable and prone to mechanical failures of almost any kind. Some historians argue that the King Tiger only had an effective use as a propaganda piece and little else since the added size and weight often made maintaining the tank a nightmare and reliability aside (which as mention were already terrible). In the best conditions there was often a 50/50 chance they would even show up to fight, and in bad conditions you would be lucky if any made it. Interesting fact: since Nazis were famous for constantly overcompensating, the first proposal of mounting a monstrous 8.8 cm Flak with a barrel 71 calibre long, that was ultimately made into 8.8 cm KwK 43 (the one Tiger II rocks), on a tank dates back to 21st of June, 1941, even before the invasion of the Soviet Union!
*'''Anything they could steal:''' From French [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Char_B1#Operational_history B1 heavy tanks] to Soviet [http://www.achtungpanzer.com/panzerkampfwagen-t-34r-soviet-t-34-in-german-service.htm T-34's] to American [http://beutepanzer.ru/Beutepanzer/us/M4_sherman/m4-75-sherman-01.htm Shermans], the Nazis used everything they could get their hands on like Orks in clean uniforms (not that the Allies were any different: Soviets, for example, had several companies armed with Panzers V used as tank destroyers). This became so chronic that the British had a strong rule in place that said any tank which could not be repaired or salvaged was to be destroyed, so the Germans wouldn't pinch it. They deployed stolen tanks pretty much everywhere, and of every type; hell, even Renault FT-17s were used in police roles in some areas.
**[['''Panzer 38(t)|Panzer 35(t) and 38(t):''']] the most famous tanks the Nazi <s>stole</s> were supplied with by puppet governments all across Europe were the PZ 35(t) and 38(t). Light tanks, both were Czech designs (hence the (t) for ''tschechisch'') Germany acquired when they took over first the Sudetenland, and then the rest of Czechoslovakia. While very useful early in the war, the designs were rendered obsolete by 1942 (they simply couldn't compete against a T-34), and the chassis was instead used to produce Marder 2 and Hetzer tank destroyers. A version of the 38(t), called the Stridsvagn m/41, was also used by Sweden. [[Katanas are Underpowered in d20|The vehicle's Czech steel was lower-quality than German stock.]]

====Tank Destroyers/Assault Guns====
Between the First and Second World Wars, various nations were still trying to figure out what good designs were for armored vehicles and how to use them in general. The Germans were the most successful, creating "Panzer divisions", a small armies in of themselves, but everyone knows about those. However, Nazi military theorists realized that lowly grunts also required some armored support. Enter the brainchild of Erich von Manstein (at least officially), the Assault Guns. In 1936, he wrote a letter to the top brass about the need of ''Begleitartillerie'', accompanying artillery, moving into battle in infantry formations and sending 6 kg shells at any machine or field gun that may interrupt the advance. The initial concept was to stick a huge gun (too big to put in a proper turret with then available technology) onto a Pz III chassis with a fixed casemate and open top (this was later changed) to allow the heavy gun to be moved around easily. Think like the [[Vindicator]]. The idea was approved, and the work on ''Panzerselbstfahrlafette III'' (quite a mouthful) begun with gusto. While primarily designed to bust fortifications, demands for Pz.Sfl. III specified the ability to take on all types of existing armor at the distance of 500m. After being officially approved for production, they received the name of [[Stug_III|StuG III]]. During the battle they usually engaged the enemy from the second line, where their limited firing arc wasn't such a big problem, and were universally praised both by infantrymen and their own crews. It all changed in 1941 with the encounter of [[T-34]]. The need to stop well-armoured tanks assaulting in mass shifted from theoretical into practical problem. StuGs had to be upgunned, uparmored, and other, dedicated anti-tank vehicles had to be designed and built. The main difference between Assault Guns and Tank Destroyers was their affiliation: the former belonged to the artillery, the latter were part of the Panzer corps, which sometimes lead to political disputes like Guderian's temper tantrum about getting Hetzers. Starting with lighter Panzerjäger tank destroyers as a stopgap measure, later in the war, Germany replaced them with big heavy tank destroyers, with thick armor and guns big enough to make an ork blush with envy, and labeled the class "''Jagdpanzer''" (hunter-tank). Panzerjäger of both types had the advantage of being cheaper and simpler to make than turreted tanks, and having lower silhouettes that allowed for easier ambushes. Plus it was easy to convert an otherwise out of date, under-gunned tank into a destroyer. The disadvantage was, of course, that they had no turrets, so they could be outflanked and had no way to point their guns at any targets that did not drive in front of them short of turning the entire tank around. Performance of StuGs and its' descendants was such a huge success the Nazis actually pondered the idea of making them the mainstream of Panzer divisions even in 1943 (however, Panzer IV/70 (A) which was indented for this role was labeled "unfit for frontline service"). Nevertheless, the turretless constructions meant that they were sacrificing much needed flexibility in the field, especially during bad weather or in difficult terrain, and the advantage of being able to built more tanks quickly becomes irrelevant if you're not losing them in the thousands yearly, so every major power in the post-45 world order didn't want to bother with it, especially since the British Centurion MBT showed the world for the first time that a tank could reliably perform all roles that were previously assigned to a variety of models. Only Germany kept some Tank Destroyers around after the war (the Kanonenjagdpanzer) and even that was thoroughly outclassed once self-directing ammunition like TOW missiles became available.
*'''Panzerjäger I''': Remember that little note in the Panzer 1's description on how it was repurposed? Well, this is the end result. What basically amounts to a Panzer I with its turret taken off and a casemate installed instead, it had a nice 4.7cm anti-tank gun but was relatively weak otherwise. There were no vision slits in the casemate, meaning that in order to aim, the crew had to peek over the top and get themselves shot in the head (a pressing issue in particular for Anti-Tank battalion 643).
*'''Marder:''' The Marder 1, 2, and 3 were all very similar tank destroyers, hence why they share a listing. The Marder 1 is based on the chassis of the French Lorraine 37L tractor, the Marder 2 is based off the Panzer II chassis, and the Marder III is based of off the Panzer 38(t) (the "T" means it was Czech in origin, not that it weighed 38 tons). All three were open topped and armed with either 7.5 cm cannons or converted Soviet 76 mm cannons they stole early in their invasion of USSR. At the start of Operation Barbarossa, German tanks were again under-gunned and -armed compared to their enemies, especially when compared to the T-34 (which one German field marshal quipped was the best tank in the world in 1941). But, like the battle for France, the Germans alone in the world had an actual understanding how to use tanks most effectively and were thus able to make massive advances anyway through superior tactical coordination. Still, a better anti-tank weapon was needed, so the Marders were created and armed with 7.5 cm weapons (although there were never enough of them, so they would revert to using Russian guns).
*'''Wespe''' and '''Hummel''': The Wasp and Bumblebee, respectively, and both with a nasty sting. Both were re-purposed tank chassis, but sporting artillery howitzers instead of AT guns (Which makes them technically self-propelled artillery instead of assault guns, but in the end it's a huge gun on tracks so fuck that noise!) the Wespe was based off the Panzer II and sported a 105mm 'light' howitzer; the Hummel was based on a modified Panzer III chassis and sported a 150mm howitzer. They're the real-life equivalents of (and probably the inspiration behind) the Imperial Guard's [[Basilisk Artillery Gun]].
*'''Hetzer''': Repurposed Panzer 38(t) with a casemate-mounted 75mm gun. A nice late-war re-design and a dangerous opponent since its small chassis and decent speed made it easy to get in position for a good ambush, and its gun was strong enough to take on any allied medium tank. Notorious for being an absolutely awful thing to be in, the interior was cramped to the point of farce and ergonomics were very poor. The chassis was overworked too, so mechanical breaks were constant. The Hetzer had some armour, but couldn't slug it out with the late-war tanks. Despite all this, it was adored by German grunts, because having an artillery gun at your side is always better than not having it.
*'''Nashorn''': Also called '''Hornisse''', this was a Marder-like tank-destroyer, with a chassis specially designed to mount the fearsome "Acht-acht" 88mm gun. Just like the Marders it was open-topped, but the huge range of its gun made it a dangerous opponent. The Germans later experimented with even bigger guns (105mm and 128mm) mounted like this, but those vehicles proved simply too heavy and impractical to use, so they did not evolve beyond a couple of prototypes.
*'''StuG III & IV''': By far the most widely produced German vehicle of WWII, the Stug was easily one of the most versatile combat platforms fielded in the war(And famous in Panzer General series for easily knocking out Russian tanks). StuG's, or "''Sturmgeschütz''" or "''assault artillery''", were built to combat a problem Germany learned from the first world war: that infantry lacked the ability to take on fortifications, and the artillery was too slow to keep up to allow direct fire on these targets. The StuG was the solution: by mounting a 7.5 cm <s>howitzer</s> [https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sturmgesch%C3%BCtz_III gun] in a fixed casemate on a Panzer III chassis, they allowed the vehicle to roll up with the infantry and blow any fortifications in the way to rubble. Of course during the invasion of the Soviet Union the Germans ran into tanks much better than their existing vehicles, namely KV-1s and T-34. In order to quickly counter these threats, the StuG was "up-gunned" (quote marks are there because the guns caliber did not change), to mount a high-velocity 7.5 cm anti-tank gun. In 1943, the StuG chassis was changed from a Panzer III's to a Panzer IV's, otherwise no changes were made. StuG's, despite looking like and being compared to tanks, were not considered tanks, and were crewed by artillery men. StuG's are estimated to have destroyed 20,000 enemy tanks in the course of the war, impressive when you consider that just over 10,000 were made, and not all of those were armed with actual anti-tank weapons. After the war, the Soviets gave a number of captured tanks to Syria where they were used up to 1960s. In a funny twist of irony, some of those ended up in Israeli hands during the Six-Day-War and remain on display in Tel Aviv today. (There was a self-propelled-gun with a an actual howitzer, too: the StuH 42.)
*'''Sturmpanzer:''' Known commonly to the Allies as the ''Brummbär'' (Grouch), this infantry support gun was based on the Panzer IV chassis. It mounted a 15cm mortar-sized direct-fire cannon, which fired a combined shell-charge weighing in at over 100lbs, designed to make infantry and buildings explode.
*'''Ferdinand/Elefant''': To put the Ferdinand into perspective, this is a tank that even Hitler though was too complex, too unreliable, and too theoretically advanced to use. The Ferdinand is the result of a contest between two of Nazi Germany's top companies, Porsche and Henschel (both of which still exist today), to produce a heavy tank that could use the 8.8 cm gun. The initial plan was to produce both tanks simultaneously, with contracts to make a "small" series of 100 tanks for both participants signed with Krupp on the same day of 22th of July, 1941. Both Tigers (P) and (H) had A LOT of problems, but due to unclear reasons even before final tests conducted in November 1942 came the order to stop production of Porsche version. That's why, despite losing the contract, Porsche had 90 Porsche Tiger hulls laying around, though he couldn't make more as he lacked production lines of his own. It was decided to turn those unused Tiger P prototypes into tank destroyers, and so they bolted even more armor on and added a fixed super structure for the gun, and thus the Ferdinand (named humbly after Porsche himself) was born. The Ferdinand was a troubled vehicle: rather than one engine, its immense bulk required two, and thanks to poor ventilation they often overheated. Bizarrely, the two engines did not even connect to the drive train (possibly because of issues keeping the two engines synchronized without modern computer control), and were instead connected to a set of electric generators that in turn powered a pair of electric motors. That's right, in 1942, the Nazi's built a 65 ton gas-electric, hybrid-powered tank destroyer, good for the environment maybe (but not actually, because the primitive technology just made the combo even less efficient), but maintenance for the thing was a nightmare worse than the Tiger. The concept of Diesel-Electrical propulsion is not even as advanced for the time as many people think; the Soviets had developed such an engine for a locomotive in 1924, the German U-Boats used the same technology for their underwater propulsion system (Diesel Engines charging a large set of batteries that drove an electric motor when underwater) and Porsches own patent for this system date back as far as 1896. The only innovation was that it was the first time this concept was implemented in an armoured vehicle. And before we forget, it did not have a machine gun. To be honest, it wouldn't have been that much of a deal (StuG-IIIs didn't have a machine gun until December 1942, for example) if Guderian hadn't used them as heavy tanks (he even calls them "Porsches' Tigers" in his memoirs), and even then out of 39 Ferdinands lost during Battle of Kursk only 4 were confirmed to be burned down by Molotov cocktail, and in 3 cases they were damaged either by mines or artillery shells before that. It had one hell of a gun, however: 8.8 cm Pak 43 could destroy any Allied tank at distances exceeding 2000 meters. In 1943, all 48 remaining operational tanks were converted to have a machine gun, more armor, anti-magnetic zimmerite paste coatings, and a commander's cupola. The modified tanks were named Elefants. Overall, more Ferdinands were destroyed by their own crews after their tracks or suspensions were damaged by mines or artillery fire and tanks themselves could not be towed back to a repair base than were lost to enemy fire. Before we forget, the Elefants were also then sent to fight in Italy. The tank known for its serious engines issues. To a country known for its mountainous terrain. They did not last long. Maybe it is the inspiration for the Shadowsword Imperial Guard superheavy.
*'''Jagdpanzer IV''': A Panzer IV chassis mounting a long-barrelled 75mm gun in a casemate mount. Worked generally very well, the low silhoutette being a great advantage it had over comparable tanks, but had some notable downsides too: The inclusion of additional armour and the long 75mm KwK from the Panther strained the Panzer IV chassis to the absolute limit, limiting range and mechanical reliablity. The extra armour and long gun also the tank particularly nose heavy, making it a bitch to drive and limiting its manuverability, nevermind being almost unable to make steep descends without bumping the gun on something, a problem tanks with a similar nose-heavy loadout like the Russian T-34 and SU-85 also had.
*'''Jagdpanther''': A Panther chassis mounting a long-barrelled 88mm gun in a casemate mount. Arguably the best "Jagd-" model combining decent mobility, decent protection and a very powerful gun.
*'''Jagdtiger''': Tiger II chassis outfitted with a long-barrelled 128mm (!) naval gun. Pure overkill, and ultimately a poorly-performing design. To put it in perspective, the M1 ''Abrams'' TODAY has a smaller and shorter 120mm cannon, even if most of its armor busting power comes from the fact it fires modern (and far more deadly) sabot rounds. Even back then, two of the most effective AT guns of the war were the German ''Acht-Acht'' 88mm gun and the British 76.2mm ''17 pounder'' gun; both much smaller, lighter and with a better rate of fire than this 128mm monster. No warmachine used on the frontline called for such a massive gun to be dealt with in World War II (save perhaps for the Soviets's [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IS_tank_family IS heavy tanks], which were designed to be have armor good enough to stand up to 88mm AT gun fire, but ironically the Jagdtiger only served on the western front make it a moot point) and even the fact it could double up as artillery support in a pinch didn't make up for the fact it was just too big and unwieldy and slow-firing a gun to deal with tanks. Add to that, a tank with a 128mm main gun is especially stupid when your enemies on both sides favored zerg rushes of Sherman and T-34's medium tanks respectively, much lighter vehicles that could reliably be taken out by much smaller guns. While anticipating future enemy capabilities is important in wartime weapon development, pretty much no one was working on a vehicle sufficiently armored to warrant this firepower (excluding absurd Super-heavy design studies like the American T28/T30 and T95 or the British Tortoise), unless it was intended to fire on battleships from the shore—and firing from a stationary coastal-defense position probably would be for the best, because even at its crawling pace, going off-road tended to knock the gun out of alignment and require it to be recalibrated before firing again, so good luck with flanking maneuvers. The nicest thing that could be said about it was that it was great for shooting at enemy tanks hiding behind buildings, because it would shoot straight through building and tank alike. (Seriously, read Otto Carius' memoirs. His opinion on these is as first-hand as it is scathing.)
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On a sidenote:
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One could reasonably point out that the Russians weren't much better in that regard, since they too threw a couple of 'overcompensated' tanks/assault guns into the fray over the course of WWII: The KV-2 sported a 152mm howitzer in a gigantic (and horribly impractical) turret, and the SU-152 and ISU-152 were also equipped casemate-mounted 152mm howitzers (basically, the only difference is that the SU was based on the KV chassis and the ISU on the IS chassis). The difference here is that these vehicles had been designed for infantry support (and demolishing ''festungs''), making the huge gun just mobile enough to keep up with the grunts and chucking high explosive death at the enemy from medium/long range instead of blasting other tanks to smithereens. This doesn't mean they couldn't: indeed the ISU-152 was effective enough in that regard to be nicknamed the ''Zveroboy'' (''Beast Killer'' in Russian, which it inherited from the SU-152), but being able to blast a Tiger on its back was merely a handy bonus. Add to that the low-velocity 152mm howitzer was a good 30% lighter than the massive PaK 80; resulting in lighter, more compact, and more mobile vehicles overall once they realized trying to mount a huge howitzer in a turret wasn't such a good idea after all. All the Russians did was switch the unwieldy 152's for lighter 85's, 100's and 122's to make actual tank destroyers.
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*[[File:Sturmtiger.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Contrary to what it might looks like, this is not a mock-up of a 40k [[Vindicator]] but a real combat vehicle.]]'''Sturmtiger''': The Sturmtiger is one of the most striking example of Nazi "mad genius" given form, to the point that this assault gun could almost belong in the "Wunderwaffe" section. As you can see from the picture, it looks like a [[Vindicator]], which is not a coincidence: both vehicles' role is to rumble up to a strongpoint and obliterate it with extreme firepower. Very quickly, the Germans realized that fortifications were a major pain in their Aryan butts to deal with and that static artillery was too slow and vulnerable to keep up with their ''Blitzkrieg'' attacks. So at first they relied on airplanes and Pz.IVs and StuGs, but as their opponents started to contest the skies and howitzers on both tanks and self-proppeled artillery had to be replaced with AT guns to stem an endless tide of T-34s, the problem of bunker-busing raised its' head once again. The Sturmtiger... The Sturmtiger is what you get when the point where you should have stopped putting bigger, larger guns on tracks is long passed, yet one still keeps going... and somehow manages to make it work. Starting as a direct response to Soviet SU-152 (there's even an urban legend about some German general looking at it and going "I want this, but BIGGER") and based off of the Tiger 1 chassis, it sported a [[bolter|''380mm gun/rocket launcher'']] [[awesome|''adapted from a Kriegsmarine depth-charge launcher'']] as its main gun; [[wat|and only because the 210 mm howitzer they intended to use first wasn't available]]. Although it sported a gun that could obliterate anything in front of it, the Sturmtiger suffered the same problems as the Tiger itself. Overbuilt drivetrain, maintenance-intensive and prone to breakdown ''Schachtellaufwerk'' tracks to keep ground pressure tolerable, and an underpowered engine. On top of that, the rocket was so powerful that in order to not break the barrel of the gun or kill the crew, the exhaust gasses from launching the depth-charge rocket had to be vented out of a number of tubes that went back up the barrel.
*'''Flakpanzer IV''': Tanks whose main gun had been replaced with one (or more) anti-aircraft guns. With the Luftwaffe having been squandered by inability to adapt to changes (i.e. realize that ''maybe'' it should have switched priorities to defending the Fatherland before the latter half of 1943), the Germans came up with these SPAAGs in other to try to defend themselves from all those nasty american ''Jabos'' (German shorthand for fighter-bomber) making their lives hell. Didn't really work, because towards the end of the war the ground attack aircraft had become too fast to be engaged reliably by guns relying on human eyes to acquire and follow their target. They were, however, [[rape|murder on tracks]] when facing infantry and lightly armored ground targets. Four Variants were made, all based on the ever-reliable Panzer IV chassis:
**'''Möbelwagen''': Odd looking thing that more or less was an armoured AA-emplacement on a tank; when deployed, the crew would fold down the "walls" of the open topped fixed turret with a 3.7 cm AA-gun on top of it. Needless to say, it didn't offer any significant improvement over existing and far more simple AA-vehicles which consisted of little more than an armoured truck with the gun in a trailer.
**'''Wirbelwind''': Perhaps the most iconic of the four, it massively improved the design by adding an again open-topped turret that could be turned almost as fast as a regular AA-gun on its mounting. Armed with a quadruple 2-cm FlaK 38 and 105 being built, it was ultimately the most common variant of the Flakpanzer IV.
**'''Ostwind''': The last Flakpanzer IV to be put into serial production. The turret remained pretty much the same from the Wirbelwind, although the introduction of a single 3.7-cm FlaK 43 made one of the two loaders on the Wirbelwind obsolete and a hydraulic turning mechanism pumped its turning speed up to 60 per second. Its prototype partook in the Battle of the Bulge and returned back home undamaged. 47 were completed by the end of the war.
**'''Kugelblitz''': Similar deal to the Typ XXI U-boats, the Kugelblitz was the peak of military engineering for its time that remained unsurpassed until computer-guided tracking systems and heat-seeking missiles revolutionized ground-based Anti-Air weaponry. The Kugelblitz utilized a fully enclosed, roughly ball-shaped turret with two 3-cm-MK 103 borrowed from the Me 262 fighter plane that were fed by belt instead of magazines or clips like the FlaK guns before. The shape of the turret, combined with an improved version of the hydraulic turning mechanism of the Ostwind made for an incredibly deadly package that could cover the airspace above it completely and inspired many imitators after the war. That being said, the 37mm AA gun was really showing its age and post war AA guns went for either high caliber autocannons or rotary guns. Only 5 prototypes were made by the end of the war, one of which actually saw combat in Thuringia, where a direct hit by a bomb blasted its turret off into a forest, where it was recovered in 1999.

===Halftracks and Armoured Cars===
*'''Kfz 13''': One of the first projects of the German armament programs that started after Hitler started to outright ignore the conditions of the Versailles treaty. Very much a stopgap solution based on a civilian car, the Adler Standard 6. Some of them partook in the invasions of Poland and France and were relegated to training purposes shortly after.
*'''Einheits-PKW''': A German take on the US army jeep, general purpose cars meant for transporting officiers and reconnaissance. Existed in three weight classes. Became redundant after the introduction of the Kübelwagen, who could do everything an Einheits-PKW could do for cheaper and also could be made into an amphibic vehicle with only minor modifications. The heavy Einheits-PKW served as the basis for the wheeled armoured reconnaissance tank Sd.Kfz 221.
*'''Leichter Panzerspähwagen Sd.Kfz. 221/222/223''': The 221 was the standard reconnaissance vehicle of the Wehrmacht in the early days of the war. Open topped and armed with an MG 34, its weak armor of only 25 millimeters, as well as its armament proved insufficient during the French campaign. The vehicles would be refitted with the 2-cm autocannon from the Panzer II and designated as Sd.Kfz. 222. Leading vehicles would be equipped with high-capacity radios instead of any armament and designated as Leichter Funkwagen 223.
*'''Schwerer Panzerspähwagen Sd.Kfz 231/232/233''': The heavy alternative to the 222. A six (or eight)-wheeled tank whose development already started when the Weimar Republic was still alive and well. It was the primary reconnaisance vehicle for the tank divisions. The different designations refer to the armament, a 231 was armed with two MG 15 in a Panzer I turret, the 232 with a high-capacity radio and the 233 with the short-barreled 7.5-cm tank guns from the earlier versions of the Panzer IV and the StuG III.
*'''Schwerer Panzerspähwagen Sd.Kfz 234 "Puma"''': A completely new wheeled tank, where the major improvement over the older 231s and 222s was that they were designed around being tanks instead of armoured cars. The first serially produced version, the 234/2 was armed with the long 5 cm-tank gun from the Panzer III in the turret of the never realized Leopard reconnaissance tank, later versions were open topped due to material shortages. This gave the vehicles firepower unprecedented for such a light vehicle and often lead to crews to take the fight to the enemy instead of scouting, with mixed results.
*'''Mittlerer Schützenpanzerwagen Sd.Kfz. 251''': The standard APC of the Wehrmacht throughout the entire war. A design so flexible that it could easily be used in just about any role any commander wanted it to serve with tons of variants of it existing. In the standard configuration, it could carry 10 men plus equipment in an open topped chassis. An innovation over competing APCs of the time was that Soldiers could enter and leave the vehicle quickly through a door in the back. The 251 was originally supposed to form the backbone of the Panzergrenadier divisions to provide infantry support to tanks in a vehicle quick enough and armoured to deliver them directly into the fray, but the lack of industrial capacity as well as the complicated Schachtellaufwerk of its tracks limited their production rates. The later years of the war saw the 251 relegated to an absurd number of combat roles, from light SPAAG with a 2-cm-FlaK 36, AT gun carrier and even Infrared night vision reconnaissance. One of the more successful vehicles of the German Army in general, with 15.000 of them being built throughout the entirety of the war.

===Airplanes===
* '''Messerschmitt Bf 109:''' The Luftwaffe's mainstay fighter through WWII. Work began on the project shortly after Hitler came to power in 1933, the first prototype flew in 1935 and it entered service in 1937, seeing action in the Spanish Civil War. It is also the most produced fighter of all time, with nearly 34,000. The variants of the 109 and the Spitfire competed with each other throughout the war for the title of "World's Best Fighter" as they were both continually upgraded. The 109 was small, very fast, a good turner (early on), a god tier climber, and was inexpensive to produce and maintain. The 109's speed and climb rate made it a top tier energy fighter in the early stages of the war. That said it was also short ranged and as the war progressed it gradually showed it's age, gradually loosing manuverability as it's engine power was increased.
[[File:Fw190d9jv 1.jpg|thumb|right|250px|When the Nazis applied their sense of style to aerospace engineering, the result was the Fw 190D-9, the second sexiest son of a bitch in the sky, second only to the SR-71]]
* '''Messerchmitt Bf 110:''' The archetype of the Luftwaffe's "destroyer" concept, and a flying monument to hubris and doubling down on bad decisions. In the late 1930s, German engineers believed that the limitations of engine technology gave multi-engine bombers an unbeatable speed advantage over single-engine fighters. Thus, this beast: a fast, twin-engined air superiority fighter armed with heavy cannons and defensive machine guns. "Destroyers" never worked particularly well in their intended role, being handily outmaneuvered by even early-war Allied fighters. Although the very concept was flawed, Bf 110s and other "destroyers" soldiered on throughout the war, in large part because Hermann Goering had a massive hard-on for them. It also helped that the planes' large airframes were well-suited to other roles besides air superiority; "destroyers" could be converted into effective tactical bombers or night-fighters, when equipped with early radar sets.
* '''Junkers Ju 87:''' Probably the airplane used by the Nazis any random person is going to know about due to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQzv-8pJSqY the highly-distinctive sound of its ram-air sirens called Jericho trumpets produced] as it dived in for an attack run - whether intentionally or not depending on how stringently the media this person watched actually portrays the Ju 87 or if they're just using its cool sound. The Ju 87 or "Stuka" as it was also known as (short for ''Sturzkampfflugzeug'' which is the German word for dive bomber) was a dive bomber that quickly became a symbol of German air power in the beginning of the war and was a key part of Germany's initial Blitzkrieg victories. A novel design, it was equipped with automatic pull-up dive brakes to ensure the aircraft recovered from its attack dive even if its pilot blacked out and wouldn't have been a feasible concept at all if its cabin wasn't pressurized and without a lot of other pilot protection advancements since only 2 g (Stuka pilots going in and out of a dive went through 8 or 9 g) could have killed a pilot in an unpressurized cabin. The Stuka proved to be so iconic that its nickname was lend to another piece of German military hardware - the Wurfrahmen 40 multiple rocket launcher became known as the "Walking Stuka". However, as the war went on and Allied air superiority became the rule of almost every battle, the Stuka wasn't really produced any more by the end of the war as it was absolutely helpless against the many Allied fighters filling the air (though there were occasions that the Stuka got to bomb things like it was 1939 again when the Allied ground units outpaced the airfield requirements of their air support).
** By the way, the Jericho trumpets were attached to the plane for psychological warfare purposes and while it ''was'' pretty certain that ground units hearing the Jericho trumpets did indeed shit themselves and dived for cover, the usefulness of them were debatable considering they produced drag on the aircraft and provided an advance warning sound for ground troops to get down (and the helpfulness of getting down was why [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_On_Target Time On Target] artillery coordination was developed) - though if nothing else, the trumpets provided audible feedback on the plane's speed for its pilot.
* '''Focke-Wulf Fw 190''': When first introduced, the Fw 190 was hands-down the best fighter on the planet, due mostly to its very powerful radial engine. The 190A-3 was rocking 1,700 horsepower at a time when the Spitfire V had 1,450. As the war dragged on, BMW failed miserably to improve the engine and the 190 dropped in effectiveness until it was given a completely new engine in the Dora variant. The 190 was horrifically fast at low altitude, had extremely powerful armament, outstanding high speed handling, and had the best roll rate of any plane in the war. However, it was a very poor turner. This set of attributes made the 190 one of the best "boom and zoom" fighters, going toe to toe with Mustangs and Thunderbolts but once again falling victim to shit production, just as the Russians started getting [[Dakka|P-39 Airacobras]] from America that could take on anything the Nazis had as long as the fight was below 12,000'.
* '''Fieseler Fi 156 Storch''': A product of the early, successful parts of the war, the Storch was a dedicated observation plane for forward air control. It was unique for its '''EXTREMELY''' low stall speed of 31 mph which even in the 21st century is still impressive for a two seater and almost 25% lower than the American equivalent (the Piper Cub). The design continued in production well into the 60's in France and the USSR; modern replicas using even lighter, stronger materials are capable of flight with a takeoff run of as little as 30 meters. Its capabilities for close support were illustrated best during the final days of the war, when famed pilot Hanna Reitsch landed one on a building-lined street in Berlin and then successfully got it airborne again.
[[File:HE111Z.JPG|thumb|left|150px|One of Germany's attempts at packing enough dakka in explosive form]]
*'''Heinkel He 111''': The main German bomber from beginning to end, it was developed in the 1930s; the Nazis called it a high speed passenger aircraft to get around the Treaty of Versailles. It was first put to its real use in the Spanish Civil War. The He 111 was a twin engine medium bomber, cheap to make and maintain and able to carry up to 3,600 kilos of bombs. Early on it performed very well and was one of the most effective bombers in the world but after 1941 the British and Americans began building larger and longer ranged four engine bombers like the Lancaster and the Flying Fortress in large quantities. The german engineers had a plan to counter these with an enhanced version of the HE 111 called the HE 111-Z that consisted of two 111 fuselages fused together on a central wing (which is just as retardedly awesome and awesomely retarded as it sounds) therefore gathering twice the bombs and weaponry of a regular bomber while being powered by 5 engines. They did manage to make it fly but it remained a prototype. Note: Actually it was suppose to be used as a glider tug for the massive Messerschmitt ME-321 Gigant cargo glider and the proposed Junkers JU-322 Mammut.

*'''Heinkel He 177 "Greif"''': The only heavy bomber the Germans were fielding and the perfect counterexample for people who cannot stop blabbering about supposed German technical superiority. An obvious idiotic design, that attempted to combine the concepts of a heavy long-range bomber similar to the British Halifax or the American B-17 with the dive-bomb-capabilities of the Stuka. To that end, the plane was made deliberately heavier and had for two engines, that were actually four that drove two propellers. Even though it became obvious very quickly that the concept of a heavy-dive-bomber was impossible, the Germans kept building them, which only revealed much more pressing concerns with de design, the notable of which was that the engine cooling system never worked right and guzzled coolant at very high rates. When the coolant ran out, the engines spontaneously combusted. German pilots loathed the damn thing so much, they gave it grim nicknames like "Burning coffin" and "Imperial Torch". When it didn't burst into flames, it was an alright plane, but mostly used for short-range reconnaissance flights, supplying the trapped 6th army in Stalingrad, naval bombing, and eventually retired in 1944, when fuel shortages meant that they could no longer take off.

* '''Messerschmitt ME-163 Komet''': Before the Nazis mastered jet engines, they toyed around with rocket-based fighters instead. The Komet was a tiny, zippy little fighter plane, and the first plane to travel faster than 1000 kph. It was also the first and last rocket-powered fighter, as they only succeeded to shoot down about eighteen allied craft at the cost of ten crashed Komets. This was because despite being far faster than anything the allies could field, the komet proved very temperamental: it was difficult to control while building speed, its fuel dangerous to handle, its landing gear could bounce off and smack the plane, its cannons were too slow to keep up, and it was vulnerable as it glided back to earth. Still, for its time, it was the only fighter capable of threatening the allies' high-altitude bombers, until the ME-262 came about. The fuel, being hypergolic, had a nasty tendency to melt the test pilots, the plane itself, and pretty much everything it touched. Which, oddly enough, was still less of a OSHA hazard that what follows...
[[File:ME 262.jpg|thumb|left|200px|The ME-262: Nazi Germany's state of the art sky shark]]
* '''Ba 349 Natter''': The meaning of "double down" if Luftwaffe logistics was a poker game. Even crazier than the Komet, Natter was little more than a [[Grot Bomm Launcha]] with unguided rocket batteries up the nose. Adding to the madness was that it's designed to be built from unskilled labor, and wood. Yes, wood. Yes: the British Mosquito was made of wood, but the Mosquito was built by professionals with great care, and was not '''rocket powered!''' What's worse, its fuel was [https://www.science.org/content/blog-post/things-i-won-t-work-peroxide-peroxides T-Stoff] (a highly caustic solution of hydrogen peroxide and a stabilizing chemical) mixed with C-Stoff (a hydrazine hydrate/methanol/water mixture), combustion was spontaneous so extreme care was required to handle both chemicals; leave it to Nazis to use fuel made out of the second most dangerous and villainous compounds (See N-Stoff bellow for the stuff even they thought was crazy). The Walter motor generated about 1,700 kg (3,740 lb) of thrust but a loaded Ba 349A weighed more than 1,818 kg (4,000 lb) so liftoff required more power, like a rail launcher or catapult. Simply put, the design was fuck-nut retarded from scratch, killing every test pilot and canceled before it was used, not that a plane nearing the speed of sound made out of shitty wood firing unguided rockets wouldn't hit fuck-all.
* '''Messerschmitt ME-262''': The Me 262 was the world's first operational jet fighter and possibly the most advanced aircraft of all in WWII. It was very fast, able to achieve a speed of 900km/h (in comparison, a P51 Mustang had a top speed of about 700km/h) and carried four 30mm cannons. The latter was its most important feature because around that time, a single HE autocannon hit meant "instant death" for any aircraft facing them, forcing them to exploit 262's slow turning speed. Quality suffered due to a lack of high quality steel, which severely limited the shelf life of their engines to twelve hours. Even so, it was an effective against bombers. Much like every other advanced Nazi weapon, it arrived too late (in part due to delays involving the Nazi top brass-thank God for Hitler on not deciding whether it should be a tactical bomber or a fighter-) and in too few numbers to influence the course of the war, though it spurred development of jet aircraft on both sides of the Iron Curtain postwar. The Japanese built a rather similar jet fighter in the Nakajima Kikka, but that never got beyond prototype.
[[File:Heinkel He 162 CASM 2012 5.jpg|thumb|right|200px|The "Volksjäger" aka. "Spatz" or "Salamander". Tiny. Deadly.]]
*'''He-162''': With a max speed of 900 kph, 2 centerline 20mm cannons, and a 39 lbs/ft^2 wingloading, the He-162 was almost invincible in combat. Where the 262 was an interceptor, the He-162 was designed as a cheap, easy to build and fly air superiority fighter. It was also designed to be piloted by children. Developed as a Volksjäger (”people's fighter”) the He-162 was a last ditch design meant to be piloted by the high school aged Hitler Youth as Nazi Germany had almost completely run out of regular pilots at the time. Amazingly enough despite the incredibly short time between design and full production, it turned out to be a solid design; both cheap and easy to build (most of the frame was made of wood) and a dangerous opponent (allied testing after the war showed that a large number of them would have been a major pain in the rear to deal with). The only point where the "Spatz" didn't deliver was the 'easy to fly' part; like all early jet airplanes it required an experienced pilot at the stick and being able to bench press to just turn the damn thing (which was a problem to everyone until the lessons of the Korean War).

===Ships===
As a general rule, Hitler dumped most of money into the ''Heer'' (army) and ''Luftwaffe'' (air force), leaving the ''Kriegsmarine'' (navy) out in the cold, so to speak, so they were not overly fond of him. (Although Hitler realised he wouldn't be able to build up a navy to rival the English quickly so he prioritised planes and tanks over ships to seize land and industrial capacity at first, which kind of made sense, at least in his delusional dreams where Great Britain wouldn'thave dared to come to kick him in the balls if a war was to break out.) Hitler actually liked the Idea of a huge navy and passed Plan Z in 1937 which would have built a truly massive fleet to fight the Royal Navy in about 1945, as the building up to that point was designed to fight France, and predated the Nazi's rise to power.

Like so many of der Furher's calls, it is a controvertial matter and bound to create much [[skub| Skub]]: on one hand, german submarines proved to be a deadly asset in the Atlantic, wrecking havoc among the convoys directed to Britain and sinking more ships than all the Kriegsmarine's surface units combined, apparently giving credit to Admiral Dönitz idea of winning the war through the U-Boots, but on the other the felt lack of success from the aforementioned surface fleet was almost exclusively HIS fault and his fault alone as, for starters, he moved too fast with his plans of invasion like an impatient child on Christmas' morning and started the war before the navy had enough surface units ready to deploy, then [[What|he ordered the resources that were being poured into the construction of said ships to be directed towards other projects, including building tanks and airplanes]], ordering the construction to be halted and leaving Raeder with a severe shortage of materials and not enough ships to fight the british on equal terms or provide escorts to his capital ships (to give you an example of what a stupid idea that was, he ordered to stop working on the aircraft carrier Graf Zeppelin when it was about 85% complete, [[fail|and that could have saved a certain flagship's ass if it had been put into service]]) and then, for fear of losing the few ships he had, ordered the entire surface fleet to stay in port and not go out on sorties, and to put icing to the cake, he seemingly forgot all of the above and declared the surface fleet a complete failure because they weren't sinking enemy ships...without considering the fact that [[fail|HE and his orders were the reasons why his ships couldn't do anything]].

Overall, the utter incompetence and lack of knowledge about naval warfare of Hitler doomed the Kriegsmarine and left nobody happy: Dönitz ended up not having enough submarines to fight the long war and Raeder ended up with not enough ships to meet the Royal Navy head on, although the few ships that saw combat inflicted heavy blows to the enemy and left one hell of a mark in history, fighting against impossible odds and always at a disadvantage, but refusing to surrender or go down without putting on a remarkable resistance. Admittedly, it's easier to speak in favor of the Kriegsmarine due to a lack of major atrocities beyond unrestricted submarine warfare (also engaged in by Allied forces) and slave labor at a low rate compared to other forces. Raeder and Dönitz were no saints. It is however fair to say that their obedience to Hitler really fucked the navy over, hard.

* '''U-Boote''': U-Boote, which are shortened the version of the word "''Unterseeboot''" or "underwater boat", are submarines. They were used in devastating effect to cut off Britain from supplies from the outside world by having "wolfpacks" of U-boats patrol around shipping lanes and sink down any enemy ship they found. Their other uses involved seeking and destroying enemy battleships, placing automated weather stations all over the world (helpful for Kriegsmarine ships) and dropping off a substantial number of spies in Britain and even America, most of which got caught-and subsequently replaced by Loyal British spy's (read about some of the ways the British Bamboozled the Nazi's in world war 2 some of it, like the moment the Germans gave a British agent the Iron cross, is just hilarious). As a consequence of all this, they worked very well in the first years of the war, sinking huge (and i mean HUGE) numbers of ships with very few boats (only about 15 boats, at most, were out at sea at any given time in the first year or so). Being such an absolute pain in the arse, the British thus invested a fuckton of money and manpower into hunting and killing said U-boats, and finally got very, very good at it, through a combination of new technology, a [[Wikipedia:Western Approaches Command|massive information network]] for coordinating defenses, and [https://www.google.com/amp/s/paxsims.wordpress.com/2016/12/08/the-wargaming-wrens-of-the-western-approaches-tactical-unit/amp/ navy wargamers] [[awesome|developing new strategies to counter the U-Boats]]. Right when more and more U-boats were being produced, as German high command realized their potential, the British began sinking ever more of them (Example: in all of 1941, 35 boats were lost, in 1943, 244 boats were sunk, with 41 in May alone). Admiral Karl Dönitz loved the U-boats, and built one of the largest structures on earth (at the time) to house them: the German U-boat pens in captured France. U-boats were invented in the first world war, and there unrestricted campaign of sinking any ship, even those with US citizens on them (even after the German government made a very public warning to the US that boarding a ship to England was a very bad idea), that approached England led to the neutral though leaning allied American to join the first world war and for them to be the last straw on the German back to end it.
**'''''Typ VII''''': The most common type and with 703 ships in total also the most built submarine model in history. Generally well regarded as a very good design, it was rather nimble for its tonnage, was able to dive extremely quickly, and much more deeper than even the designers anticipated (U-95, the famous submarine from ''Das Boot'', reportedly sunk as deep as 290 meters after being hit by water bombs, and even though it was quite taxing on the ship itself, the crew survived in full and made it back to port). Its major downfall (as seems to be the norm with many Nazi equipment) was that it wasn't used in its intended role; the Typ VIIc submarines in particular weren't designed to operate as long away from a home port as they were ordered to do, and their firepower against anything larger than a merchant vessel was negligable. They were, at best, Torpedo boats that could also dive, and only the Fall of France even made it even possible for them in the first place to operate in the mid-Atlantic as they did, even tho their main theater was supposed to be the German sea and the Channel. Incompetent leadership as well as the afromentioned efforts of the British in fighting them lead to the Typ VII becoming obsolecent already by 1942 and a major bleed of trained Seamen and Naval officiers.
**'''''Typ IX''''': The Typ VII's bigger sister, and the actual ocean-going submarine of the Kriegsmarine. Much more spacious than the Typ VII, and designed to operate as far away as the ''fucking Indian Ocean''. Quite a few of them remained a considerable threat due to their elusiveness and extreme range; multiple Typ IXs made it as far as New York City and sunk convoys there. As is tradition, incompetent leadership fucked this type and their crews; Dönitz was notoriously iron-fisted about keeping the Typ VII wolfpacks in use and very narrow-minded as far as new technology goes. The Typ IX was for the task at hand superior to its smaller cousin in every way, but materiel shortages and limited Dockyards meant it was damned to take a step back behind the Typ VII.
**'''''Typ XXI''''': A technological marvel that came at the very end of the war, and too late to be used by the Nazis themselves, but these babies were by far the most advanced type of submarine devised at the time. Primarily designed to operate almost entirely under water and as trials with the finished ships by the allies after the war showed, more than capable of that. Typ XXI marks a significant shift in submarine doctrins across the globe, as it proved that Submarines were more than capable of operating far away from a port without needing any assistance and almost completely invisible. The modern nuclear submarines of the US and USSR are direct decendants of the Typ XXI for that very reason. Unfortunately for the Nazis and fortunately for everyone else they had serious problems in their construction as Albert Speer decided [[wat|to farm out hull construction to a steel bridge company to speed up production]] and they never scored a kill.
* '''''Gorch Fock''''': The first of a series of five ships built very early in Germany's rearmament program, when the Nazis were still uncertain what might provoke the allies. Not in any way a warship, these were sail tallships, the last, largest, and finest ever made (although their engine systems were designed to train sailors for operating U-Boats). After the war all the ships of the class were seized as war trophies, notably the ''Horst Wessel'' which was taken by the United States becoming the ''USCGC Eagle''. The modern day ''Gorch Fock'' of the Bundesmarine is a new ship built from the same plans in 1958 and remains a training vessel to this day.
* '''''Deutschland Class Cruiser''''': The archetypal battlecruiser, the ''Deutschlands'' were the first new large ships designed by Germany after the Treaty of Versailles, and were carefully designed to get the most out of a very liberal interpretation of what the treaty permitted. Fast and heavily armed, they were ideal for commerce raiding and all three were used in this role. Of the class, the ''Admiral Scheer'' had the most successful career, sinking the most shipping tonnage of any ship in WW2, while the ''Graf Spee'' would get in a shootout with three British cruisers and be forced to scuttle in the harbor of Montevideo.
* '''''Admiral-Hipper-Class Cruiser''''': A result of the British-German Treaty of 1935, supposed to cross the gap between the Bismarck-class battleships and the lighter Deutschland class. The most famous of these was the ''Prinz Eugen'', that accompanied the Bismarck on her fateful journey and remaining the only heavy German Warship that survived the war intact. The planners of the Kriegsmarine called for a design that was exceptionally sturdy, and the result fulfilled these expectations more than they could have imagined; after the war, it was towed away by the US Navy who used in the series of nuclear tests in American-Samoa, [[Wat|where it survived all three Hydrogen bomb blasts with only minor damages]], but it was so irradiated that the US towed it off the coast of the Bikini-Atoll. Here it sank, after the propellers had dislodged as a result of the nuclear blasts in 1946. Its wreck is still above the surface, since the water on the beach where the Prinz Eugen sank isn't very deep.
* '''''Bismarck and Tirpitz''''': <s>A pair of battleships with guns as big as steers and shells as big as trees. As well as inspiration for a Kickass Sabaton song </s> Memes aside, those were the largest ships built by any european power and two of the biggest in the World; although not the biggest (Yamato was heavier and around ten meters longer), or the ones with the most illustrious career (Warspite served and kicked asses in both World Wars), they were by far the deadliest and best battleships around during the war, so powerful and dangerous to make Winston Churchill himself shit his pants. Much of the materials around regarding them as "technologically outdated", "useless" or inferior to their contemporaries are just results of the heavy discrediting campaign the Allies came up with during and after the war, so that everyone would think that "anything built by Nazi Germany = inferior to anything american and british and thus worthless", when that couldn't be farther from the truth: the Bismarck fought, with only the heavy cruiser Prinz Eugen at his side, the battleship HMS Prince of Wales and the battlecruiser HMS Hood and [[awesome|literally one-shotted the Hood after just five minutes of combat by hitting her in the aft magazine, with subsequent explosion breaking the ship in half]] and killed everyone on her but 3, then pointed his guns on the Prince of Wales and mauled her badly enough to force her to withdraw; at that point, the Bismarck could have won the entire war for Germany. Alone. And that's for three simple reasons: A) Britain was already on the brink of starvation thanks to the german submarines and raiders, so a ship like the Bismarck left unchecked and free to hunt down convoys in the Atlantic for three months would have meant the UK would have been forced to surrender lest its population died for a lack of food; B) Hood had been always presented as the most powerful ship in the world and was the most loved ship of the Royal Navy; the fact that she had been sunk in an engagement where she technically had the upper hand in terms of power (since they were a battleship and a battlecruiser against a battleship and a heavy cruiser, even though the Bismarck and the Prinz Eugen were more modern) was an extremely heavy blow to the already strained british morale, that started raising questions on the ability of the Royal Navy to actually counter the germans ambitions at sea; C) the Royal Navy lacked a ship powerful enough to confront the Bismarck in battle, not without the numbers on its side. It should be no surprise then, that Churchill ordered every available ship to chase the Bismarck and destroy it with every possible mean, resulting in a fleet of more than 60 SHIPS searching the Atlantic to destroy him (and before you ask, yes, it is the biggest naval formation ever assembled to hunt down a single ship), that after three days of hunting managed to track him down, cripple him and then have a 5v1 engagement in which the Bismarck was shelled without mercy, [[awesome|yet still refused to sink]]. They tried torpedoes. [[awesome|And he still didn't sink]]. In the end it was the Bismarck's own crew to scuttle him, since they had no way of fighting back after the beating the ship had taken. All the while the Tirpitz proved to be another real bitch to kill, just like his big brother: after the Bismarck sinking, the Tirpitz received reinforced deck armor, even more advanced systems and a shitload more of AA guns to fight off enemy aircrafts and she was be considered so much of a threat that the british admiralty was forced to keep three King George V Class battleships at Scala Flow at any time and the americans had to send the Iowa, the Washington and the Alabama in case "The Beast", as Churchill called her, decided to move. After ship attacks failed to damage her, the RAF spent an entire year attacking her, but without results, forcing them to use almost [[what|6 tonnes bombs]] (the Tallboy) to destroy her, [[awesome|but the Tirpitz survived even these]], until november 1944, when one of said bombs hit one of the ship's magazines and finally sunk it. The only real "flaws" of the ships were the three propellers system that made them difficult to maneuver at low speed and impossible if one of the rudders was to be destroyed, and the fact they were so massive that there were very few facilities capable of hosting them; in truth, the Bismarck Class rapresented the very pinnacle of battleships' design, with a perfect balance of overwhelming firepower, incredibly efficient armor protection (seriously, [[what|40% of their weight was dedicated to the armor]] and their armored belt was around 170 meters long, meaning that most of the ships were protected by it) and speed and their flaws were far less dangerous in a combat situation that those found on every other modern battleship of the war: the King George Vs were slower and both them and the Richelieus were uselessly complicated and suffered from severe mechanical fails and hydraulic problems (not to mention they couldn't shoot backwards), the Yamatos were so big and heavy that they were impossible to maintain, furthermore their guns and shells were highly ineffective, their armor scheme was a total mess and their radar was much less advanced, the Iowas, while faster, with better technology and (only slightly) more powerful guns, had a terrible weakness in the form of extremely poor armor reliability to withstand both shells and torpedoes and that was discovered only months after the four battleships had been fully built abd thus was impossible to rectify, a flaw they shared with both the North Carolina Class and the South Dakota Class, only that those two were also slower than the Bismarck and the Littorios were completely unreliable, lacking radar systems, their guns were extremely inaccurate and also had a very short lifespan.

* '''''Graf Zepplin''''': The Nazi's sole attempt at building an aircraft carrier that was a weird carrier/cruiser hybrid. Not the best idea because having the heavy guns meant it could field less planes and having planes meant that it would punch below its' weight in shooting match with other surface assets, though this is theoretical. Never completed, due to the squabbling between Göring and the Admiralty whose department this ship belongs to and the ever decreasing need of an aircraft carrier in continental Europe. Despite never being ''officially'' cancelled until the end of the war, frequent changes to the design and the planes that were supposed to be used with it as well as severe materiel shortages made sure that construction was put on hold in 1943 and the, by that time about 85% complete ship was moved from port to port in the Baltic Sea. The Soviets captured it in 1945, used it for target practice and ultimately sunk it in 1947 off the coast of Danzig (or Gdansk in Polish), where its wreck was rediscovered in 2006.

===Wunderwaffen===
Wunderwaffen. One thing that caught the imagination of the world and started the "Superior German Engineering" meme. As a preface, civilian engineering is great in Germany. Military? Well... you'll see in a bit. This is the place any of the "Nazi Super science" stuff goes. You want lightning guns? Wunderwaffen. Super tanks? Wunderwaffen. Moon rockets? Wunderwaffen. Hitler in a giant robot spider powered by the souls of the damned? Wunderwaffen.

A lot of people can argue that things like the Wunderwaffe and to a lesser degree the Gen 3 heavy tanks like the Tiger and Panther were wastes of time, money and resources in a time where they desperately could not afford to spend all three. These same people argue that it would have been preferable to produce more panzer IV's and Stugs then produce expensive Tigers or Wunderwaffe. However the truth is, as usual, a lot more nuanced. Take a quick look at even a modern map of Europe and you quickly find the same truth the Nazi's ran into no matter how they ignored: Germany is small. They don't have the same kind of resources at there disposal that Russia or America have. Maybe They could match England or France one-on-one but both had global empires that when factored in meant that Germany was Dwarfed in the resource game (hence why trying to blockade England was such a Critical thing during both world wars). There is, frankly, no way Germany could ever produce enough tanks to match the American horde of Sherman or Soviet onslaught of T-34's, and there is no way for Germany to keep all those tanks fueled. It is with this mind set that one can understand the reason for the Wunderwaffen and Gen 3 heavy tanks. If there is no way to produce as many tanks as your enemy's, your only options is to pack so much power into each individual war machine that they can achieve favorable kill/death ratios to make up the difference. At the core it's space marine logic, a few stronger units outfighting many times their number.

When put that way it makes the Wunderwaffe sounds like a good idea in theory. In practice they turned out not to be, due to many different factors going from limitations that could not be overcome with tech from the forties to nepotism and human stupidity (more on this below). It is indeed true that the different wonder weapon projects were on the bleeding edge of their epoch's technology when envisioned, next generation devices which most of the scientists of other nations had been thinking about/started to toy with, but had yet to reach prototype much less combat stage. Yes, the Germans pioneered a lot of things that were afterwards [[Blood Ravens|acquired and adapted]] by the Allies and the Soviet Union. The problem was, at the start of the war, the technology to make said Wunderwaffe '''efficient''' weapons (a real guidance system for the V1 and V2, for instance, and a decent fuel valve for V-1's to avoid engine death after a hundred turns) simply wasn't there yet, and once the war got into full-swing and the attendant drain on fighting a multi-front war along with the effects of Allied strategic bombing became dominant, the Germans never managed to close the gap. All that the Wunderwaffen '''could''' have been agreed upon having accomplished is the initial psychological shock upon deployment (such as the unstoppable V-2 launches), which wasn't much of a big deal after the human mind would adapt to the new threat.

On the negative side, while the German quest for military innovation lead to a number of advances and efficient war machines that did have everyone else scrambling to catch up, most were nothing more than a drain on Germany's already limited resources. Hitler had a documented fascination with anything that screamed "German Supremacy" and was willing to throw money at any such proposal. Thus, for every successful development that led to for instance the Messerschmitt Bf 109 (which was a very good plane and a potential game changer); you had more half-successes like the Tiger/VK3X.XX series/Ferdinand-Elephant/... (which were decent enough machines in the field but were horribly costly and maintenance-intensive) and all the associated waste of time and resources that went into completely hare-brained projects like the ''Ratte''. Later on, once the multi-front war turned against Germany, it turned into an arguable desperation for something-anything to one-shot win-the-war. As you can imagine with four hands strangling Germany, one smelling of vodka, one of bourbon and apple pie, one of tea and gin and the last of white bread and frog legs, these weapons were developed and produced with a shortage of resources and time and the lack of quality only exacerbated their various shortcomings and strained an already breaking economy. They were rather dismissively called "voo-vah" by Allied troops, and they allegedly thanked Hitler for ultimately shortening the war by authorizing the waste of resources on them. Perhaps ironically, the Wunderwaffen did help to shorten the war, since those resources may have been better used on propping up a failing wartime economy, or building "boring but effective" war materiel. As with anything on this wiki, YMMV and you're encouraged to do your own research (and find a lot of really interesting stories in the process; did you know that at point-blank range, the standard 88mm AP round could rip a furrow through the entire length of the roof of a M4 turret, peeling open the steel like a centre-parting in hair? SCIENCE!)

It's worth noting here that the Germans and the Allies (particularly the Americans) devoted equally insane amounts of resources to developing crazy sci-fi weapons during the war; the course of post-war history shows which side bet on the winning horses. While the Germans farted around with jets and giant cannons, the Americans were conducting the Manhattan Project and creating nuclear weapons, (and building the B-29 Superfortress, a plane so advanced that it cost just as much as the bombs it would deliver to Japan). Ultimately, the Germans' wide-reaching experimentation was a classic example of crippling overspecialization, developing dozens of potentially war-winning technologies and giving none of them the attention they needed.

* '''V1 flying bomb:''' The V1 is considered as an early version of the cruise missile and was used in the bombing of England, since a city was pretty much all they COULD accurately hit (and even then). The V1's used an early version of a Pulse jet and they were quickly called "buzz bombs," "doodlebugs," or "farting furies" to discourage people from calling them "robot bombs," which gives the impression that they were unstoppable. Fun fact about the V1: it uses the same fuel as a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombardier_beetle type of beetle] uses to defend itself. It was infamously known for cutting its engine as it dived (due to a fuel flow error), leading to it suddenly becoming silent just before it smashed into the ground. Its entire "guidance computer" was nothing more than a simple gyroscope system to keep it level and flying, plus a small spinning propeller in the nose that would set the flaps to dive the V1 into the ground once it revolved a certain amount of times (calculated to have covered the distance to the target city). Far too inaccurate to be used against a military target, the V1 was ultimately a gigantic waste. After the war though, with American and Soviet resources and improved controls, it founded the basis of modern tactical bombardment. Strategic? See right below.
*'''V2 rocket:''' The V2 was the world's first ballistic missile and spacefaring craft. The scientists that developed it, including Werner von Braun, went on to work for NASA and developed the booster rockets on the Saturn V launch vehicle (Nazi science really did put a man on the Moon in the end). Unlike its brother the V1, it was utterly unstoppable by AA; not a single inbound V2 was ever shot down by anti-aircraft fire, owing to it moving at 3 times the speed of sound. As detailed in Thomas Pynchon's novel ''Gravity's Rainbow'' (the book's name referring to the ballistic trajectory of the rockets), the V2 brought a new terror to late-war London: as the rockets impacted well beyond the speed of sound, the first sign of an attack was an explosion on the ground, ''followed'' by "a screaming across the sky." It was the first vehicle to ever reach space (but not the first object, that honor falls to Imperial German artillery in WW1, specifically the Paris Gun), from a vertical test launch in 1943, and after the war it was very frequently reused by the Americans (with extra shit often strapped on top) as an early spacecraft, with grainy images returned from suborbital flights in space as early as 1946. Less of a waste than the V1 but even so, without a decent guidance system it had a hard time hitting England as well as the dubious distinction of being the only weapon which killed more people in its manufacture than it did enemies. (It achievieved this distinction by being constructed in concentration camps, where prisoners' lives were freely exchanged for productivity. It's worth remembering that many of the "good" Germans that came to the US and NASA had to ''literally'' step over corpses to get to their Nazi rocket factories during the war.)
*''' Ruhrstahl X-4 and Panzerabwehrrakete X-7 Rotkäppchen rocket:''' The X-4 and X-7 were the first Wire-Guided missiles (by which they were guided by electrical signals sent down guidance wires spooled out behind the rocket in flight) to be developed, and an example that in some cases Wunderwaffen really did point the way to the future.
* '''Horten 229 and Horten 18:''' While technically Nazi aircraft, they really deserves to be here, not up in Aircraft. Commonly known as the "Nazi stealth fighter," this twin-turbojet flying-wing fighter was found in a secret workshop hangar by invading American forces. Nobody knows for certain if the Horten 229 was originally built for stealth, but it's all-wood construction and smooth radar-fouling shape, coupled with what was claimed to be radar-absorbing paint on the outer shell makes a fairly clear case for a stealth aircraft (Though [[Wikipedia:de Havilland Mosquito|the allies had already been fielding wooden aircraft for years]] and the Germans knew Radar worked poorly on them, as well as the "radar absorbing paint" being tested by Lockheed and being found to have no appreciable effect on radar returns). The concept that the 229 was build around was the "3x1000": 1000kph, 1000km range, 1000kg bomb payload. This, in 1943. During test flights, it outperformed the Me. 262 while using exactly the same engines. It was probably going to be used to fly through or knock out the British radar array in a second, never-realized "Battle of Britain 2: Electromagnetic Boogaloo." The Horten 18 was an even bigger flying wing, with a huge wingspan and 6 jet engines. This one was designed to be an intercontinental bomber, intending to hit American cities as the western front made Hitler [[rage|angrier and angrier]]. The Horten 18 was never built, but the 229 was rather successfully test flown. Both planes looks quite a bit like the modern B2 stealth bomber, which isn't much of a surprise considering the Americans hauled the Horten 229 prototype back home to be studied in a secret airforce base (where it is today). The designs failed for several reasons: lack of funds and insufficient stabilizing hard/software for flying wing aircrafts in 1940's.
[[File:Maus_Trials_1944.png|350px|thumb|right|[[Approved_anime#Gaming_anime|Panzer vor]], motherfuckers.]]
* '''''Maus'':''' The ''Panzerkampfwagen VIII Maus'' ("mouse") is the largest tank ever built. A 200 metric ton monster with a 128mm (5 inch) main gun, and a 75mm co-axial gun in the turret, it crept along at a blistering 13 kph and sucked down liters of gas per kilometer. The most amazing thing is that (beyond not cancelling the project on sight like anyone withing hailing distance of sanity would) ''they actually managed to build this tank''. Five were ordered, but only two prototypes and one turret were built. It was originally going to be called the ''Mäuschen'' (Little Mouse), but because the Germans liked schadenfreude more than irony, just ''Maus'' stuck. Realistically, neither front's tanks would have had the firepower to penetrate the Maus, only extreme-caliber anti-tank guns and artillery fire would have done the job, however it was so big that there was no road or bridge big enough to take it so it had to have special snorkling gear to get past river. Its extremely slow speed and massive size, however, likely would have made it prime bait for bombers (which is one of the reasons why modern militaries don't use heavy tanks anymore). While neither side had anti-tank weapons strong enough to penetrate its armor, it's more then likely it would never get there even if it was built. It's not quite a [[Baneblade]], but they were getting there. The Nazi's really didn't want anyone to get this monster, so they blew up the complete first model. The second Maus, armed with the first one's turret, was towed back to Russia by invading forces, and currently resides in the Kubinka Tank museum for all to see.
* '''''Ratte'':''' The ''Landkreuzer P. 1000 Ratte'' ("rat") was an even larger tank, or "land cruiser", since it was essentially a naval warship on tracks. Never actually built, despite being ordered by Hitler. [[Wat|The Rat was to be a 1000 metric ton tank, mounting a naval turret with two 280mm guns, a 128mm anti tank gun, eight 20mm FlaK cannons, and two 15mm aircraft cannons]], surpassing even the Eleven Barrels Of Hell of the Baneblade. It would have been so heavy that it would have destroyed every road it used, capable of wrecking a town just by running through it, and it would have collapsed every bridge it crossed. It needed two U-BOAT motors to get around, or maybe EIGHT 20 CYLINDER ENGINES. Not surprisingly, Albert Speer canned the project (mostly because a single bomber dropping a 500kg bomb on top of the thing would fuck its day up immensely), which is a great shame because A- Building and maintaining such a monster would have posed a noticeable strain on Germany's logistics, thus accelerating their defeat (it would have required about six months worth of the Reichs ENTIRE STEEL PRODUCTION just to build the damm thing) and B- It would have made the most [[awesome]] museum piece in the known universe.
*'''''Karl-Gerät''''' The ''Karl-Gerät'' is one of the very few real world weapon ever built that is BIGGER then its 40k equivalent. Karl weighs 124 tons, is armed with a 60cm (24 inch) gun that fires a shell that weights more than a ton, that can hit a target between four and ten kilometers away depending on the size of its shell. This thing was the largest self-propelled gun ever made and it could give even a (admittedly small) Titan pause for thought. These things were actually used in combat to decent effect in Warsaw, but had mixed results in other deployments. It fucked up any target royally when it hit like famously the Prudential in Warsaw, but the Gerät was so big and slow that it had to be disassembled and put on special tractor trailers to move around (one hell of a logistic operation) and and was moved any real distance by train. Its shells were carried by special turret-less Panzer IIIs. Surprisingly one of these things survived the war and was captured by the Russians. It's currently in the Kubinka Tank Museum along side the only Maus heavy tank in the world and assorted other war trophies.
[[File:Hitler-gustav-railway-gun.jpg|350px|thumb|right|If there was a fine line between [[Dakka]], [[Titan|massive overcompensation]], and [[Rape|"Holy shit, Greg! Is that a fucking landship on rails!?",]] then the Gustav sure hits the spot.]]
*'''''Schwerer Gustav'':''' An excellent example of the brilliance and impracticality of Wunderwaffen, ''Schwerer Gustav'' was a railway gun that resembled a cruiser fucking a freight train and an artillery piece, built in the late 30's to defeat the Maginot Line. Two were built, the other called "Dora." It is a descendant of the German Empire's 1918 "Paris gun," a smaller gun ("only" 238mm's) built in World War One to shell Paris from Germany, 120 kilometers away (a range so far they had to account for the curvature of the Earth when firing the damn thing). Gustav was designed to defeat any fortifications in existence; as such, it was the largest-calibre rifled weapon ever used in combat, the heaviest mobile artillery piece ever built in terms of overall weight, and fired the heaviest shells of any artillery piece. It fired 80cm (31 inch) shells, weighing 4,800kg to 7,100kg up to 48km. The AP shells could penetrate 7m of reinforced concrete. It completely succeeded in its job of defeating any existing fortification, but at the same time was completely impractical: it required two specially-laid parallel railway tracks to move (yes, it was a railway gun too big for the railway), took 54 hours to set up for firing, and had a rate of fire of 14 rounds per day as charges had to be heated up in a special device for roughly 1 day before firing. Since building a gun that fired shells that wouldn't fit through the front door to your house wasn't excessive enough for the Nazis, plans were made to mount the Schwerer Gustav 80cm gun on a 1,500t self propelled artillery platform (the ''Landkreuzer P.1500 Monster'') with two 15cm howitzers and multiple 15mm autocannons as secondary weapons. Unfortunately, both guns were scrapped near the end of the war. The Schwerer Gustav, overall, was the biggest (if the strange rocket exhaust powered V3 listed bellow is not counted) motherfucking gun on the planet. The weapon likely could have blown a Titan away if its shields were down, and much science-fiction set in WW2 features the gun (notably, in Harry Turtledove's Worldwar series, the gun is used to blow up two landed alien spacecraft from sixty kilometers away).The fucking thing was hilariously impractical as there is no recorded cases it of successfully hitting the target (and with the accuracy of that thing it's a miracle no German forces were harmed). There is an urban legend about one AP shot detonating an ammo dump through 15 meters of water and 7 meters of concrete during the Siege of Sevastapol, but no hard proof supports it.
*'''V3''': If you thought Gustav up there was nutty wait to you here about the V3, a gun that's as big as a 40k titan. The V3 was an attempt to make a gun that could shoot across the English channel, and there were a number of sane guns that could do this including railway guns and big bunkers built with battleship battery's. but they could only shoot between the narrowest point between England and continental Europe. The V3 was built to shell London from France. I said early it was as big as a titan, and I was not being sarcastic, (though it would only be as big as a knight, which despite being the smallest titan is still bloody big) from breach to muzzle the gun was 130 meters or 430 feet long with a bore of 150mm or 5.9 inches across. Rather then use a single big explosion to propel the shells, the V3 used rocket motors mounted in pairs, set so there exhaust would thrust a 140kg shell out of the barrel like a reverse bolter. This set up allowed it to fire a shell out to 165km and put London well in range. Of course like all of the Nazi Wunderwaffen, in practice it sounded good but was actually kinda shit. the gun was so big, remember 130meters that it had to be built in a hill meaning it was impossible for it to change target after being built, and after all the time you spent building the damn thing, by the time you were done it might no longer be useful to have, such as what happened during the Nazi Operation Nordwind. Further even if you ignore the logistical issues compared to other period artillery the V3 was just plain shit. The 16"/50 caliber Mark 7 guns of the USS Iowa class battleship, had a caliber of 16 inch or 406mm, and fired a shell that weighed 1,225 kg, so over twice as big around and almost exactly nine times as heavy, and the Iowa had nine of them, and it could move. and to put the cherry on the HMS sound plan, by the time the first five guns were finally built to shell London, the British airforce destroyed them with Tallboy Earthquake bombs. If anything proves how silly the idea of Nazi Super Science is, let the fate of the V3 super gun stand testament to how many times Hitler's scientists, and Hitler himself, had been hit with the stupid stick growing up. Hitler in particular, [[Meme|who was punished by his enraged father severely]].
*'''''[https://www.science.org/content/blog-post/sand-won-t-save-you-time N-Stoff]:''''' Someday, somewhere in the ''Kaiser Wilhelm Institute'' there was an Evil Overlord that was unhappy about the quantity of flammen his flammenwerfer could werf - so he got around and took two guys named Ruff and Krug to play around with some flourine and some chlorine. Now, if you studied something about chemistry, you may realize that using "flourine" and "chlorine" in the same sentence does not spell good news for anybody, but you know, ''Nazi Evil Overlords..''. What they discovered made their commissioners - yes, the same ol' boys who thought gassing millions was cool - go '''NOPE!''', and when you discover something that's too crazy even for Crazy Nazi Science standards you know you're in for a treat. Indeed, Chlorine Trifluoride (as the compound is called) proved to be pretty good in burning bunkers to the ground - and by "burning bunkers" we mean the ''whole'' bunker, as in ''it reacts with the motherfucking concrete'' - plus it doubled as a chemical warfare agent, giving off corrosive and toxic fumes. N-Stoff (translating to Substance-N; yeah, they kinda failed the naming here) burns at a raging 2400 degrees Celsius - twice the temperature of lava and almost enough to BOIL steel - and can set fire to things that shouldn't burn like glass, wet sand (or asbestos (the same substance that they used to make fireproof stuff out of)) and things that have already been burnt. In fact fighting the fire with water is counterproductive, the water is just more fuel and it reacts to create deadly acids and gasses. In the 1950's a ton of the stuff was spilled on a warehouse: the chemical then burned through a foot of Concrete and three feet gravel, while releasing a deadly gas that corroding everything it came into contact with. If there ever was something like [[Dakka|Enuff Dakka]] for flamethrowers, Substance N came close to delivering it. The Nazis planned to use it in war, but were never able to produce enough of it (only a few dozen kg total), presumably because it kept incinerating everyone who tried to make it. It later found its use in the semiconductor and nuclear industry - after being dubbed a bit too violent to use as rocket fuel, one rocket scientist famously said that the best way to deal with a Chlorine Trifluoride accident was "a good pair of running shoes". Also, [[Sly Marbo]] uses Substance N to spice up his Catachan Take Away.
*'''E-Series''': A very obscure piece of German tank engineering history, that was brought to mainstream attention by being featured in World of Tanks. The ''Entwicklung'' series of tanks were pure design studies, never produced or even properly conceptualized as an attempt in streamlining tank production and as replacements for the entire tank pool of the Wehrmacht. It consisted of 5 tanks in total (E-10, E-25, E-50, E-75, E-100) with different purposes and their name corresponded with their weight class. By the time these design studies were made (around late 44 to early 45) producing an entirely new series of tanks was way beyond the capabilities of the by that time disintegrating remainder of the German heavy industry, so it's best not to read too much into these tanks other than them being interesting curiosities. From what was left of reserve steel, the Germans managed to scramble together one incomplete E-100 chassis that was found by the Americans and handed over to the British, which used it for target practive and ultimately scrapped it in 1950.
*'''''Uranprojekt''''': The Uranprojekt (Uraniumproject as the most literal translation) was the attempt of German scientists to create a nuclear bomb, or at least to create a sustainable chain reaction. It found its way into popular fiction as the German attempt in creating an atomic bomb, often claiming they almost had one, but when taking a closer look, this isn't exactly the truth. It didn't exactly go all that well. Germany suffered a major brain drain when it expelled all its Jewish scientists and it had next to no access to Uranium or materials that could be used as a moderator (like highly pure graphite or heavy water). The material problems were sorta solved when France and Norway fell into their hands, but the problems only increased from then on. The scientists were unsure what to use as fuel for the bomb as both proposed elements (Uranium-235 and Plutonium-239) are extremely rare and need to be created artificially in breeding reactors. To put it in perspective: Plutonium wasn't believed to be a natural occuring element at all until the 1990s and common Uranium ore contains usually 2% Uranium in its most stable form (U-238) and generally only 0,7% of all Uranium is of the 235 variety (U-238 is much more stable than U-235 and therefore harder to split). One must also take into consideration that nuclear technology in general was in its infancy and just at the very onset of leaving the purely theoretical stage, which adds to the problems in procuring enough viable fission material outlined above. The lead scientist of the project, Werner Heisenberg, (yes, that's where the name Heisenberg comes from) also had a crisis of conscience and reduced his work on the project significantly. After the Invasion of the Soviet Union, the project was abandoned by the Wehrmacht and handed over to the civilian Reichsforschungsrat (Council of Science of the Reich) because of the material expenses and the lack of results. The project experienced a significant number of setbacks, the most important of which was an explosion of a globe filled with Uranium powder in 1942, which destroyed a substantial amount of Germanys Uranium reserves (The accident in question actually bears a striking resemblance to what happened in Chernobyl in 1986, thankfully only on a much smaller scale). But it didn't stop there. The Allies caught wind of the project and feared that the Germans could succeed in developing a nuclear bomb and sent Commandos in a series of daring operations that make for excellent reading material. In short, all German facilities that could produce materials, together with practically any Uranium and heavy water for use in the Uranprojekt were destroyed by early 1944 either through sabotage or air raids and the project worked off remaining reserves from then on. One last experiment in Haigerloch, South Germany was conducted in Febuary 1945 and failed in producing a nuclear chain reaction. The leading scientists were taken into custody by the Americans, others from the rank-and-file by the Soviets, where they continued their work on the Soviet Unions nuclear weapons project. The effect the Uranprojekt was more to found in the looming paranoia of the Allies, particularly the Americans, about a possible German nuclear bomb that drove a lot of the reasearch in the Manhattan-Project, with the irony being that the Germans never even came close to create a critical nuclear chain reaction, let alone a bomb. In hindsight, the project was in fact a complete failure. All that needs to be said is that around ten different organizations were all running their own programs, one of which was the German Postal Service.
*'''Die Glocke (The Bell)''': Okay, so you know the Nazi Zombie craze that got started back in 1941 (seriously the first Nazi Zombie film was made during WWII), and the purported occult obssession several higher-ups in the party had? This is one of the end results of that branch of PseudoScience & Conspiracy level crazy. Much like the US's Philadelphia Experiment, or MK-Ultra; Die Glocke was supossed to be "something" that would break the laws of reality, bring back the dead, power all the factories, and mind control the enemies of the Reich. It's also complete horseshit, potentially made up by a Polish Author/Journalist (I. Witkowski), and then later popularised by a British Author/Military Journalist (N. Cook). Still as it has helped shape the more fantasical view of the Nazi Wunderwaffen, especially in the realm of /v/idya, and the "factual" books are a good laugh, is worth a mention.
*'''Sonnengewehr (Sun Gun)''': Slightly less fantastical than the Bell above (as in theoretically feasible but just as impossible to realize with the tech available at the time) was the Sonnengewehr, or the Sun Gun. Orginally proposed in 1929 by Hermann Oberth, the Sonnengewehr was a hypothesised space station that would orbit around the planet roughly five thousand miles up, and focus the Sun's rays into a ray capable of burning down cities, or boiling dry the oceans using a fuckhueg reflector made of metallic sodium. While the numbers involved are probably fairly wooly given just how batshit crazy the Nazi science machine was, the scientists involved claimed that the Sun Gun could be completed within 50 to 100 years, and if you consider that we landed on the moon roughly 40 years after the first purposeful of the 'sun gun', that number does check out. The "designers" at least had some sense of reality when they realized that the platform could also make for a weather satellite since it might as well have such facilities on board due to size. On an amusing sidenote, the Russians eventually demonstrated the concept was sound (if stupidly impractical for any intended purpose) with their ''Znamaya'' solar mirror prototype in the nineties. Though of course in terms of a 'super weapon' any kind of 'sun gun' fails when compared to atomic weapons, which is why Despite being sound in concept nobody has actually bothered to even consider such a weapon. (though as weather manipulator? that's a different kettle of fish)

===Misc===
[[File:Stalhelm.jpg|200px|thumb|left|The Distinctive Stahlhelm. The Germans lucked out helmet design during WWI]]
* '''''Stahlhelm'':''' The many variants of the iconic German helmet were derived from the medieval sallet during the Great War. The purpose of these helmets was to keep shrapnel out of one's head. It was better than it's contemporaries by better protecting the sides and back of the head as well. Not to be confused with the spiked Prussian ''Pickelhaube''. Used by all kinds of German troops but the Fallschirmsjäger (paratroopers) as it is impractical to jump with it. Paratroopers had a special version of the helmet that removed the front and back flanges, giving it a much more streamlined appearance. The basic shape of the helmet would go on to become the basis for most modern helmets, especially as the shape was well suited to wearing a headset under it.

*'''''Stielhandgranate'':''' Often called "stick grenades" or "potato mashers," these are those grenades on sticks you see the Germans always using. Used by popping off the metal cap at the end of the stick, giving the cord which doubled as a fuse a good yank, and throwing it to your target (of course, before the fuse went off). The Stielhandgranate is what is called a "offensive" grenade known now as a "concussive" grenade. The difference is an offensive grenade uses explosive pressure waves to kill an enemy, thus allowing you to use it while advancing without getting a face full of shrapnel, while a defensive grenade (like the US "pineapple" grenade) uses shrapnel to kill an enemy, affecting a much larger area but also putting you in the blast radius, hence they were designed to be thrown over the wall of a fox hole or trench line at advancing enemy troops while you keep your head down. The reason the Stielhandgranate has the stick is to give you more leverage when throwing it as compared to a round grenade, which worked but nonetheless history moved past the concept and grenades on sticks didn't keep.
**'''''Geballte Ladung'':''' Take your grenades off of their sticks, wrap them all up around one stick grenade, and tie them up around it with something. You see, as the Stielhandgranate was basically just a head of TNT lit up after the fuse at the end of the stick reached the explosive filler in the head, cramming more of these explosive heads around one will lead to a bigger boom when that one goes off like planting more TNT on the same detonation location will, though the added weight would reduce the range advantage of hurling it by the stick and made it harder to carry them en masse (regular Stielhandgranates were only barely harder to attach to someone than actual sticks and soldiers could easily cram them just about anywhere on their person). This "bundled charge" was improvised for use against harder targets, like armored vehicles (though it didn't take long in World War 2 for this to become useless against tanks) and buildings. Six/Nine explosive heads fit nicely when tied around one stick grenade's head on the horizontal plane parallel to the head's circular ends, which was the usual upper limit for this improvisation, though logically it would be quite possible to tie even more around the grenade while making it even more difficult to throw and making it more resemble an explosive charge that you can't expect to throw very far with a stick in it.

*'''''Nebelwerfer'':''' A family of weapons whose very name means "Fog/Mist Thrower"; they were listed as smoke screen launchers before the war (to get around the Treaty of Versailles), but in truth were rather deadly artillery pieces designed to deploy chemical munitions; though barring a few isolated instances on the Eastern Front, chemical weapons were never used in any meaningful capacity during the war, likely because Hitler had survived gas attacks in the last war and drew the line at using them himself, along with the fact that using chemical weapons would invite retaliation. These types of weapons included some mortars, but more importantly, rocket artillery. Between the wars, there was a fair bit of interest in new rocket designs; as conventional artillery was either strictly regulated or forbidden by the Treaty of Versailles; and the Nazis knew they had a use for that. These rockets were inaccurate, but you could easily fire a whole bunch of the things off at once for a good saturation bombing, though thanks to the smoke you had to scoot away afterwards or the other side would drop their own artillery right on top of you. The rocket based system made a very distinctive sound. The Germans nicknamed the thing "Heulende Kuh" (Bellowing Cow) and US troops would come to call them "Screaming Mimi" and "Moaning Minnie".
**In the later phases of the war, the Germans would also mount the launcher onto a half-track and designate it a "Panzerwerfer" (Armored Thrower). In many ways a German analogue to the BM-21, the Panzerwerfer saw intensive use during the Battle of the Bulge.

*'''Goliath:''' A remotely controlled mini-vehicle on treads, stuffed full of explosives. They were driven up to an enemy tank or a bunker and then blown up. (Games Workshop stole the idea and design for the Imperial Guard [[Cyclop Demolition Vehicle|Cyclops]].) Good idea, but the execution was lacking since Radio Control wasn't good enough yet. They had a cable like some sort of bargain remote-controlled car which limited their range dramatically, and cutting this would utterly defeat the weapon. (At least it's not as bad as the Russians and their kamikaze dogs which they trained to run under tanks, that is, THEIR OWN TANKS, but I digress...) On the flip side, American soldiers often made great fun with captured Goliaths by riding them around as the tiny thing could carry quite a load.

*'''Flammenwerfer:''' A werfer zat werfs flammen. Your standard flamethrower in both name and function, though there wasn't much use for it - There were no real line wars like in WW1 where people sat in <s>comfy</s> little (hell) holes and took potshots at each other. not to say they weren't used. but unlike the trench wars of WW1 most of the fighting was mobile rather than static. For added nastiness, some bigger ones were mounted in Flammpanzers, able to shoot hundreds of liters of sticky, burning fuck you over distances exceeding 50 meters. Getting issued one was generally regarded one of the least desirable jobs on all sides of the war, Flamethrower operators were prime targets for reasons that should be obvious but also because everyone shot them on the spot when they surrendered. It also bears mentioning that actually firing a flamethrower is a ''very'' unpleasant sensation.

*'''8.8cm flak gun:''' Known as the "Acht-Acht", this is THE German gun of world war two, and it sums up the German experience in the first part of the war; of never being truly ready but by being very clever and doctrinally flexible. The 88mm was designed as an anti-air weapon (Flak standing for ''Fliegerabwehrkanöne'', or AA gun) built to throw a high explosive shell as high into the air as it could so that it could explode somewhere in the same ballpark as the enemy plane and put one piece of shrapnel into something important and bring it down, which is a role it preformed throughout the war. However against the heavy allied tanks such as the British Matilda 1 and French B1, the German tanks of the time had no ability to penetrate their frontal armor The the 8.8 cm flak guns however, thanks to the high muzzle speed required to fire their explosive shell so high into the air, were able to deal with enemy tanks at unparalleled ranges at the time. So the guns were pulled to the front by a certain Erwin Rommel during the battle of Arras, the barrels lowered, a French-British tank-heavy counterattack stopped; and it snowballed from there. In case your wondering, the reason why the 88's had anti-tank rounds was because while not designed to deal with enemy tanks, they had a secondary role in busting enemy bunkers and fortifications, hence why an ANTI-AIR gun had an AP round. Germany quickly pushed to have both a proper PaK version of the 88 (Pak standing for ''Panzerabwehrkanöne'', or AT gun) that had a lower profile, was easier to move around and had a shield to stop stray bullets from decimating the crew; and a tank armed with the 88 as it became clear that against the soviet union, tanks were only going to get stronger. Which is why the Tiger I is a metal slab with a huge gun: its job was to get an 88mm gun into the battlefield as fast as possible. Using AA guns as AT guns was such a good idea that the US did the same thing with their 90mm AA gun converting it into a anti-tank weapon for the M36 tank destroyer and the Pershing tank; and so did the Russians with their 85 mm gun for the upgunned versions of the T-34 and KV-1. The Imperial Guard Basilisk cannon looks almost exactly like the Flak 88.

*'''2 cm Flak 30/38/Flakvierling:''' Remember the "Acht-Acht"? Now add two of these smaller guns to each flak 88 site, hill, hedge, ditch and rooftop in Europe and watch the fireworks. The German answer to the question of "enuff dakka" in a more reasonable package than MG42 which went through metal reserves was this little bastard, which was like an American 30.cal [[Bolter|firing explosive ''and'' armor piercing rounds]]. Obviously devastating to infantry and aircraft, it even rained sufficient hailstorms of rounds that damaged and threw off approaching lightly armored vehicles enough to make a difference, and given luck, it could rip through tank tracks too. And the Germans made 150.000 of these fuckers. And those 150.000 Bolter-Expies, these unsung weapons, did more damage and inflict casualties than any other weapon during the Normandy landing and the push inland. [https://www.quora.com/In-WW2-why-did-the-Germans-never-develop-heavy-machine-guns-like-M2-Browning-for-their-half-tracks-SP-guns-and-tanks/answer/Allyson-Kliff As explained here.]

*'''Kooky Coal Chemistry:''' Germany lacked a lot of strategic resources, but if there was one thing they did have it was coal and by gum the nazis did their best to make the most of it. German was a leader in Industrial Chemistry specifically of this well before Hitler came to power, but the prospect of independence from foreign imports was like Catnip to Ultranationalist wack-a-doodles such as the Nazis. German companies worked out ways of making Gasoline from Coal, rubber from Coal, lubricants were made from Coal and even freakin' Margarine from coal. However a fair number of these methods were also rather expensive and needed a lot of resources to work (using 4.5 tonnes of coal to make 1 tonne of gasoline), with only Synthetic Rubber really catching on Post-War.

*'''The S-mine:''' The Sprengmine (jumping mine), or, to use the name US soldiers gave it, "Bouncing Betty", was one of the most widely used and most effective, weapons of its class. It was a mine that when triggered 'bounced' about three feet into the air before exploding at about waist height in an 'air burst', able to inflict casualities (The military definition of the word meaning more then just dead) at up to 140 feet. And it had a tendency to not kill you, but maim you. [[Grimdark|A deliberate decision, as the Nazis estimated that a wounded soldier takes up a lot more resources than a dead one.]] Later in the war, some were made out of glass and even pottery, with minimal metal parts, to make them even harder to find. Suffice to say, they still havent found all of them... 1.93 million S-mines were made and it was widely copied after the war, these things are still killing people to this day as old mines forgot about are stepped on and the explosive proves itself still good. While the S-mine is hardly unique in that regard (Unexploded US aircraft bombs and shells make up the bulk of what they still find in Germany, around 2,000 pounds year according to the Smithsonian) land mines, like the S-mine, are still dug up by the truck load in North Africa.

*'''Pervitin:''' Not a traditional weapon as such, but a key element in how the Nazis blitzkrieg tactics were so effective, Pervitin was a methamphetamine drug that provided the base recipe for today's crystal meth and which was distributed to all members of the Nazi military. Its powerful stimulatory effect enabled them to fight harder for longer, and was essential in the breakneck races from the border to the battlefield. With all of the Nazi troopers hopped up on this drug, which later incorporated cocaine for increased effectiveness, Nazi forces could keep fighting effectively well after their enemies were worn out. At least until their supply lines were cut and addiction/withdrawal symptoms crippled them all, that is. The use of pervitin was cut drastically after the France campaign for that reason (and for fear of long-term side effects, especially when discipline issues started mounting), though many pilots and tank crew members still used it readily, especially during Stalingrad (with the hilarious side effect of turning into an on-the-spot popsicle when the crash came). It could also be issued for important operations. The idea that all Wehrmacht soldiers were drooling junkies is however wrong, funny, but wrong. It has a fascinating legacy that lasted much longer than the Third Reich did: The Bundeswehr and NVA (Armed forces of Communist East Germany) kept stockpiles of it well into the 70s for emergency use and for paratroopers, as did the US Army in Vietnam. The first climb of Mount Everest in 1953 also saw extensive use of Pervitin and President John F. Kennedy used it to treat his chronic back pain.

*'''''Hs 293 & Fritz-X'':''' Another German WWII oddity, the Hs 293 and Fritz-X were basically remote-controlled bombs and the grand-parents of modern precision-guided ammo. In an effort to improve bombing accuracy without having to dive at the target, they came up with this idea: take a huge bomb, add small wings with control surfaces, actuators, a radio receiver and a big flare up the bomb's arse so the bombardier can see where it's going (and a rocket booster in the case of the Hs 293); and then add a radio transmitter with a joystick in the airplane so the bombardier can correct its descent. There you go, highly precise steerable bomb. It actually worked really well, but not without drawbacks: drop altitude was limited, since the bombardier needed to keep a line of sight on the flare, like all radio transmission it could be jammed and lastly the bomber had to remain in level flight during the bomb's entire descent to allow the bombardier to steer it. Ultimately the bombs only saw limited anti-ship use, the combination of limited drop altitude and level flight made the bomber a way too easy prey for any fighter defending its target. Still, they were pretty efficient weapons in the right circumstances as the ''Roma'', the ''Littorio'' and the ''Warspite'' can attest to.

*'''Kettenkrad (Sd. Kfz 2)''': Those stylish tracked motor cycles, build as a light general-purpose platform that could do basically anything, from reconnaissance to lying down telephone and radio cables and towing light AT-guns and artillery pieces. A very solid design in general, it was very manuverable for its weight, had great off-road capabilities and was very easy to drive; if you knew how to drive a motor cycle you could drive a Kettenkrad. This was achieved by a rather complex steering gear that used the front wheel to steer it when making turns of about 8°, when making sharper turns a mechanism slowed down one of the tracks. It remained in production and use throughout the entire war and even after it, as its engine was about on par with that of a small tractor and decommissioned Kettenkrads quickly proved a popular and cheap asset for farmers, forresters and even firefighters in Germany after the war. So popular, that production of new Kettenkrads was only ceased in 1951, making it, the Gewehr 98, and a version of the MG-42 the only pieces of german military engineering whose production run outlived the Nazi regime.

*'''Kübelwagen''': In the 1930s, there were not many cars in Germany with domestic production being pretty low, the Nazis thought that it would be a big propaganda boom if they could fix that. As such they gathered up a bunch of German Engineers to try to design a car that was A: reasonably comfortable, B: got good fuel economy and C: cheap and easy to mass produce so that the Average Aryan Arbeiter could afford one and began building a factory to mass produce them. This People's Car was the Volkswagon Beetle, with production beginning in 1938 to much fanfare. But in truth only a small number of them were made as Civie Cars by the Reich and those that were made were given away to Nazi-Party members as presents. More of them however were converted into Kübelwagens, the Nazi's equivalent to the Jeep.

*'''''Zimmerit''''': Ever wondered why so many German Tanks had such a patchy look? and why German WW2 tanks are such a bitch to model? This stuff is the reason. ''Zimmerit'' was a thick paste consisting of Barium Sulfate, Polyvinyl acetate, Zinc Sulfide and some filling material that was applied at the end of tank production in thick layers with spatulas, giving it its distict look. ''Zimmerit'' served as a reliable protection against magnetic anti-tank grenades like the German ''Hafthohlladung'' or . . . nothing. No other nation other then Germany deployed a magnetic anti-tank mine during the war, though concerns that the Hafthohlladung could be easily copied made the idea of Zimmerit a decent idea at the start of the war. However rumours about it igniting after sustaining hits lead to an order to cease production and application of the stuff on tanks. The rumours were never proven, but applying the stuff took days at best and by 1944 the German High Command didn't really want to bother with it anymore, especially since rocket propelled AT-weaponry like the Bazooka made magnetic mines obsolete anyway.

*'''Jerrycans''': Yes, the instantly recognizable jerrycan is in fact a German invention, which given that the Germans in WW1 and 2 were derogatory known as 'jerrys' does make a lot of sense in hindsight. Designed by Wehrmacht Engineers in the late 30s as an improvement over predecessors, which required special tools and funnels to fill, a task that was tedious and took up a lot of time, not to mention how bulky they were. The perfection of the jerrycan design cannot be understated; it's easy to stack, fill, takes up fairly little space and you can carry around a lot of them. The Germans were aware they had struck logistical-design gold and troops were under orders to destroy theirs cans rather than risk their capture, but unfortunately for them the design was brought to the Allies' attention when the American Paul Weiss traveled with a German friend through the entirety of India and realized that his modified car had no storage for reserve water, said German friend who had access to the German reserve stockpile of jerrycans brought them with him on the tour (though also fortunately for the Germans, it wouldn't be until 1943 that any of their enemies would mass-produce the can). After the tour, Weiss shared the design with the American military, who reverse engineered the thing and issued it to every motorized company in the US Army.

*'''The Gas Chambers''': One of the darkest inventions of the Nazis, the Gas Chambers were used to facilitate mass genocide on an industrial scale, human sacrifice on the level of factory farming. Anyone the Nazis deemed "undesirable" were sent to be executed regardless of age, although those capable of sustained labor were worked ragged first in camps before being sent to their deaths. Jews and Romani, Unenslaved Africans, educated Slavs and the Physically Deformed, the Mentally Handicapped and the Crippled, if you didn't fit into Adolf Hitler's insane dream of an All-Aryan Ubermensch World, you were sent to die a horrid death as the Zyklon-B gas choked you to death. The Gas Chambers were the result of a concerted effort to find the most efficient way to kill large numbers of humans covertly and with minimal involvement. At first, the victims of the holocaust were simply lined up and shot by ''Einsatzgruppen'' death squads but that was too messy and was deemed to hard on the men doing the butchery. Vans with the exhaust funneled into the rear compartment were used next, but these were seen as too costly in terms of fuel and machines before stationary extermination facilities using rat poison were worked out as the most effective way to go about it. A cold and chilly logical methodology of planning to achieve the goals of rampant hatred.

== C3i Waffen ==

Not exactly their strongest area...

*'''Enigma:''' Enigma was a communications scheme based on a sophisticated but easy to use electromechanical encryption/decryption device resembling a cross between a typewriter and an odometer. When used with proper procedures it was the one of the most secure means of communication available in the world for its time, offering effectively 76 bit encryption with 1920's technology in a device that was superior to anything the allies had. SIGABA was comparably secure but far heavier and fragile, and the M-209 was far inferior in both ease of use and encryption strength (although it was still adequate). However the combination of lax discipline, reuse of settings, and notes from a polish customs inspection of an enigma device resulted in the technology being reverse engineered and cryptographic attacks being discovered. Only Kriegsmarine communications remained difficult to decrypt by the end of the war, due to their practice of using secret codebooks to further compress their messages prior to encryption. Has become known for being completely cracked by a British team led by a gay man, only for him to be arrested and almost chemically neutered before committing suicide. Because yes, back then potentially saving the lives of hundreds of thousands did not make up for liking the dick.

*'''Bombing Beams:''' Wouldn't you know it, the Instrument Landing System used today at pretty much every major airport was originally invented to 'land' bombs on London in the middle of the night when the lights are out. By using narrow radio beams the Nazis could steer bombers to a precalculated drop point. All the pilots had to do was maintain a certain speed and altitude, and then drop their bombs when the signal detector said they should... except when the British were fucking with them. Towards the end they were fucking with them so hard German bomber pilots were landing at RAF bases believing they were in France. When it actually worked, such as at Coventry, it was more accurate than daytime saturation bombing, with most bombs falling within 90 meters of the beam centerline. This system is why Nazi bombing raids tended to less of a brief swarm like the allies used and more of a continuous bomb conveyor belt lasting most of the night; they would line up single file along the approach beam, and then after they hit the drop beam they'd change altitude, turn around, follow the beam back across the channel; no visibility needed. The British figured this out and started using their television antennas (which had far greater power output) to mess with the system. If the Nazis had continued to improve this technology with ECCM and built a lot more bombers instead of squandering money on Wunderwaffen, they probably would have won the Battle of Britain (even then, Göring would have found a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory).

*'''Tank Radios:''' While today we take it for granted that any trooper anywhere in the galaxy could get a call from the emperor himself to execute order 66, this wasn't always the case. Throughout the 1930's, all German armored vehicles had radios, while their opponents would typically only have a radio for the unit commander. This was an enormous advantage for Nazi tank units that remained the case basically until America showed up. The Nazis also had the Torn.Fu.d2, a backpack portable infantry radio comparable to the American SCR-300, although they didn't distribute them as widely as the Americans did. This was an organizational thing; Germany dealt with communications by assigning a signals battalion to each division and delegating resources as needed, while the Americans always had radios at company level and sometimes had SCR-536 handy-talkies for individual platoons, the ideal being that every American officer's best ''weapon'' was their radioman. The main problem the Germans had with radios was that lots of American soldiers were fluent in German (and German isn't that different from English to begin with).

*'''Zuse Z3''': Lo and behold, for you look at the very first freely programmable digital computer in the world. Completed by Mathematician and Electronics Engineer Conrad Zuse in 1941, it was kept in extreme secrecy, so much so that it was rarely put into use. The rare times it was used, its purpose was to calculate trajectories for V2 rockets. Zuse advocated for its use in the war effort, but the original (and at the time only) device was destroyed in an allied bombing raid in 1943. Zuse built an improved successor, the Z4, just before the war came to a close. Although conditionally Turing complete, physically the Z3 was less advanced in implementation than its peers. Zuse was not able to procure thermionic components (vacuum tubes were in critically short supply for radios and radars in Germany) and so had to rely on electromechanical relays from phone switching gear; in practical terms this meant that the Z3 ran much slower than even purpose built non-Turing complete calculators such as the Atanasoff-Berry or the Colossus. The Z3 itself received little immediate recognition outside of Germany partly because of the American ENIAC computer; the strict secrecy Zuse worked under lead to the Z3 falling into relative obscurity, until the invalidation of the Sperry Rand patents in the 1970's, which hinged partly on Zuse's own patents which had been licensed to IBM as early as 1946 (FYI: you're reading this page on a computer today partly because those Sperry patents died; a year later the Altair 8800 began the long road of upstart Davids bringing down industry Goliaths). Today, a replica of the Z3, built in the 70s (which the by then over 80 year old Zuse himself built alone and [[awesome|from memory]]) can be found in the German Museum in Munich. The only surviving (and probably only completed) Z4 computer was used as the main computer of the Mathematical Devision of the University of Zürich, Switzerland, until 1958, when it was sold to the German Museum in Munich where it remains to this day. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUXnhVrT4CI An example of the Z3 working can be viewed here. (Video in German, good automatic translated English subtitles are available)]

[[Category:History]]

Cyclops Demolition Vehicle

2022-11-04T16:21:13Z

2607:FB90:3F23:DDD0:2930:A99C:FAA8:335C:

[[File:Cyclops.jpg|300px|right|thumb|So cute you probably won't realize that these things can blow up tanks.]]
The Cyclops Demolition Vehicle AKA Kamikaze Imperial Drones are a small remote-controlled vehicle packed with explosives and guided towards a target from a distance, it is used for breaching enemy fortifications such as pillboxes and bunkers with devastating results. It also looks like a [[Leman Russ Battle Tank|Leman Russ]] baby which may result in severe underestimation by the enemy and like the [[Rapier Armoured Carrier|Rapier]] it may result in much unintentional [[Lofn|'DAAAAAAAWWWWW'.]]

Cyclopes are small enough to be carried in a [[Chimera Transport|Chimera]] or [[Valkyrie]] and operated through a [[Video game|remote control device consisting of a small handset connected to a backpack Vox-caster.]] It is said that a Chimera or '''CRASSUS ARMORED ASSAULT TRANSPORT''' can carry two Cyclopes within their hulls. [[Spore Mine|So yes, Imperial vehicles literally give birth to suicide <s>bombers</s> babies.]] Cyclopes are commonly used to remove enemy strong points and bunkers but have found other uses on the battlefield, among these clearing obstacles such as minefields and tank traps or to destroy buildings during street-fighting, while the explosive charge is large enough to damage enemy vehicles. [[Just as planned|Storm Troopers have been known to use Cyclopes as sabotage weapons, landing them behind enemy lines with a single operator to target command posts, supply dumps or bridges.]]

Unsurprisingly, it’s a direct ripoff of the [[Nazi Equipment|Goliath]], a little tracked explosive that looked exactly like this to attack, you guessed it, tanks, devised by the [[Nazi|Nazis]] in WWII.

{{Template:40k-Imperial-Vehicles}}
{{Template:Imperial-Guard}}

Cyclops Demolition Vehicle

2022-11-04T16:19:04Z

2607:FB90:3F23:DDD0:2930:A99C:FAA8:335C:

[[File:Cyclops.jpg|300px|right|thumb|So cute you probably won't realize that these things can blow up tanks.]]
The Cyclops Demolition Vehicle AKA Kamikaze Imperial Drones are a small remote-controlled vehicle packed with explosives and guided towards a target from a distance, it is used for breaching enemy fortifications such as pillboxes and bunkers with devastating results. It also looks like a [[Leman Russ Battle Tank|Leman Russ]] baby which may result in severe underestimation by the enemy and like the [[Rapier Armoured Carrier|Rapier]] it may result in much unintentional [[Lofn|'DAAAAAAAWWWWW'.]]

Cyclopes are small enough to be carried in a [[Chimera Transport|Chimera]] or [[Valkyrie]] and operated through a [[Video game|remote control device consisting of a small handset connected to a backpack Vox-caster.]] It is said that a Chimera or '''CRASSUS ARMORED ASSAULT TRANSPORT''' can carry two Cyclopes within their hulls. [[Spore Mine|So yes, Imperial vehicles literally give birth to suicide <s>bombers</s> babies.]] Cyclopes are commonly used to remove enemy strong points and bunkers but have found other uses on the battlefield, among these clearing obstacles such as minefields and tank traps or to destroy buildings during street-fighting, while the explosive charge is large enough to damage enemy vehicles. [[Just as planned|Storm Troopers have been known to use Cyclopes as sabotage weapons, landing them behind enemy lines with a single operator to target command posts, supply dumps or bridges.]]

Unsurprisingly, it’s a direct ripoff of the Goliath, a little tracked explosive that looked exactly like this to attack, you guessed it, tanks, devised by the [[Nazi|Nazis]] in WWII.

{{Template:40k-Imperial-Vehicles}}
{{Template:Imperial-Guard}}