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Gnome

2020-05-20T17:26:59Z

2607:FEA8:E9A0:592D:7151:236B:623C:2C8C: Switzerland is in Germany.

[[Image:5e PHB Gnome.jpg |300px|thumb|right|Want to play an [[elf]], but smaller, cuter and more fun-loving than arrogant? Then you want a gnome.]]

{{Topquote|HO HO HE HE HA HA, HOHOHOHOHEHE. Hello me old chum, I'm Gnot a [[elf|Gnelf]], I'm Gnot a [[goblin|Gnoblin]], I'm a GNOME, and you've been GNOOOOOMED|Traditional gnomish greeting}}
'''Gnomes''' are a fantasy race consisting of small, earthy (and probably smelly) men and women who possess magical powers and often look prematurely aged. If this sounds like a pretty poor way to describe them, then you're not wrong; the problem is that gnomes are basically the redheaded stepchildren of fantasy gaming, and even that race codifing titan, [[Dungeons & Dragons]], has never been able to give them a solid defining core the way they have done with the [[dwarf]] and [[elf]] races; mainly because Gygax wasn't codifying shit when it came to dwarves and elves (that was [[Tolkien]]. [[Elf#Modern_Era|Mostly]].) Heck, when the other essential /tg/ game tried to solidly define a core race [[Tau|it was lame, too]].

==Gnomes in Mythology==
The gnome as a mythical race dates back only as far as the Renaissance, when the writer Paracelsus created them for ''Liber de Nymphis, Sylvanis, Pygmaeis, Salamandris, et Gigantibus etc.'', describing them as small [[elemental]] spirits of the earth. It's believed that he used the term "gnomus" as a result of botching the spelling of gēnomos - "earth-dweller" in <s>Latin</s> Greek (that's why he would have botched the spelling; Western scholars of that era weren't very good at Greek. ''Graecum est, non legitur'' is the origin of our modern colloquialism "it's all Greek to me.")

Gnomes then took off as a result of Romanticism, when the English word "gnome" was coopted as a general blanket term for the "little people" - the vast assortment of small [[fairy]]-people from folklore across the many differing regions of Europe, essentially rolling together creatures like the [[dwarf]], [[goblin]] and [[kobold]] into a single generic term. Drawing upon Paracelsus' original creation, the gnome became a sort of cthonic fey; small, down-to-earth and often quite ugly and masculine in contrast to the masculine-yet-pretty [[elf]] and the very feminine [[fairy]].

Perhaps the closest thing to a defining image of gnomes has emerged from the various dwarf-like fae races of Germany; very small creatures of the forests and hills who live in harmony with nature, especially the animals, and who are shy but friendly towards humans. This was the school of thought that ultimately birthed the common garden gnome you see all over the place today, and the character David the Gnome, who has his own section elsewhere on this page.

With roots this tangled and confusing, it's no wonder that gnomes continue to struggle to define themselves to this day.

==Gnomes in Warhammer==
Un(?)surprisingly, they were a thing. In the earliest days of [[Warhammer Fantasy]] - we're talking 3rd edition or so, and 1st edition [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] - Gnomes were stated to exist in the setting as a declining race inhabiting the western side of the World's Edge Mountains. They were described as basically being kin to dwarves, but (quite in contrast to Gygaxian dwarves) even more surly and foul-tempered (which, given Warhammer dwarves, is quite something.) Unsurprisingly, with so little to distinguish them, they were promptly [[Squats|phased out]], although they at least have the consolation it was because there was no niche left for them, not because they were an inherently terrible idea like the [[Fimir]].
Gnomes were added back in 4th edition.

==Gnomes in Dungeons & Dragons==
Gnomes were latecomers to [[Dungeons & Dragons]], not appearing until 1978 in the [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] 1e Player's Handbook - in comparison, the [[Elf]], [[Dwarf]], and [[Hobbit]] - sorry, '''[[Halfling]]''' had been there literally since the beginning, having first shown up in 1974's Men & Magic, the ''very first D&D booklet''.

Right from the start, there were troubles; gnomes had basically been introduced to try and replicate the Fighter/ Mage/Thief trinity in the "shortfolk" races, being the Wizard to the dwarven Fighter and the halfling Rogue. This, unfortunately, did not give them much of a backstory to draw from; D&D gnomes were portrayed as, essentially, a sort of dwarf-elf crossbreed; small, bearded men and homely women who, nonetheless, were playful, friendly, mischievous tricksters with a deep and abiding love of magic and practical jokes. Because, lacking anything better to do with them, they decided to throw them out as the obvious Comic Relief race.

Three editions came and went, and this lore stayed stable; from AD&D 1e to D&D 3e, gnomes were always the afterthought race, the joke race, the short and homely tricksters. Nobody could figure out what to do with them. Some settings toyed with this archetype in their own way - see Subraces - but for the most part, they remained the redhaired stepchildren of D&D.

Finally, by the early days of D&D [[4e]], the developers were sick of this. They decided to take gnomes out of the Player's Handbook and leave them there until they could come up with a decent backstory and "hook" for them, much like how [[halfling]]s went from being blatant [[hobbit]] ripoffs to nomadic hobbits to river & swamp-dwelling merchants & carnies. Gnomes ultimately made their triumphant return in the PHB2, and actually had an interesting backstory. 4e's gnomes had been denizens of the [[Feywild]], alongside the [[Eladrin]], but had spent generations as slaves under the cruel dictatorship of the [[Fomorian]]s; cursed fey giants with powerful magical abilities and mystic eyes. These gnomes worked hard, developing their skills with illusion magic and stealth, and ultimately managed to escape - for the most part.

To this day, they haven't forgotten their time as slaves, and so their culture revolves around both celebrating their freedom and making almost paranoid efforts to protect themselves. They build elaborately hidden bunker-villages, supplementing artful mundane camouflage with powerful illusions and other magical mind-fuckery effects. They hate slavery with a deep and abiding fury, and will do just about anything to avoid going back there. They even have specialist defenders, like the Nightcloaks - [[Paladin]]s armed with illusion magic who act as a combination of secret police and special commandos to eliminate threats before they can strike, and Phantasm Guards - [[Swordmage]]s wielding fear-inducing illusion spells to attack the body and the mind simultaneously. They are surprisingly badass little fuckers, but without going completely [[GrimDark]], so you can still play a comedic gnome if you absolutely want to.

Naturally, in the face of a positive revamp like this, 5th edition promptly threw it all away and went back to their original lore as inconsequential goofy dwarf-lite elf-lite hybrids.

Even [[Pathfinder]] thought that gnomes kind of sucked in 3e, and came up with their own take on them. They decided to double-down on the association of gnomes with wacky, goofball PCs, and so added a dash of [[Kender]] to their racial mix. The gnomes of [[Golarion]] are former residents of the First World, Pathfinder's equivalent to the [[Feywild]], who wound up stranded in the [[Prime Material]] as a race. Deprived of the mystical vitality of their faerie land home, the gnomes are afflicted with a condition called the [[Bleaching]], which slowly sucks the color out of them both literally and metaphorically, until they wind up either dead or as a completely gray and eerily stoic parody of their former selves. Consequently, gnomes seek constant stimulation to thwart the Bleaching, constantly looking to experience the new and surrounding themselves with intense colors, tastes, scents and other sensation, essentially making them an entire race of non-evil [[Slaanesh]]i.

===D&D Gnome Appearances===
The classic gnome appearance in D&D is essentially a [[dwarf]] with a dash of [[elf]]; a small, squat humanoid who usually is described as both fairly homely and seeming to age quickly, giving them wrinkly faces and pronounced beards & mustaches. Unlike dwarves, they have no cultural attachment to their beards, and indeed often shave them into goatees or similarly small, neatly kept affairs to keep them out of their way. In AD&D, gnomes are most known for their prodigious noses. The elfin aspect mostly shines through in long, pointy ears.

The [[Feywild]] Gnome of 4th edition abandons the dwarfish elements; instead, they look like scaled-down [[eladrin]], with wild, spiky hair. They're surprisingly attractive, compared to the gnomes of past editions, or at least to AD&D.

The [[Golarion]] Gnome of [[Pathfinder]] looks deliberately like a chibi anime character; weirdly sized facial features that invoke either their iconic D&D look (oversized ears and noses) or the classic anime look (seemingly too small mouth, near-absent nose, huge eyes) are actually canonical to their lore, and they come in a vast variety of different and weird skin, hair and eye colors. This is intended to help emphasize their [[fey]], alien natures when compared to dwarves and halflings, and in fairness it actually works pretty well.

===Gnomish Subraces===
Rock Gnomes are the "mainstream" gnomes of D&D. These are the more dwarf-like gnomish race, though with a sense of playfulness and a love of practical joking that dwarves definitely lack. These are the intellectual and scholarly branch of the gnome family tree, making them naturally inclined towards arcane magic and practical sciences. By the time of 5th edition, they have been used to assimilate the "tinker gnome" archetype, mostly to provide an alternative to the [[Tinker Gnome|Tinkers & Thinkers]] of [[Dragonlance|Krynn]].

Forest Gnomes, as their name suggests, favor the wilderness and are especially close to the creatures of nature, making them the shyest of the gnome subraces. They can be considered the more elfin of the gnomes, if one directly looks at gnomes as being a blending (metaphorically or literally) between dwarf and elf. Because their niche more heavily overlaps with the elf's niche than the rock gnomes' niche does with the dwarf's, forest gnomes are generally the least remembered and respected of the gnomic races, although 5e promoting them to a corebook subrace may see their fortunes reversed.

[[Svirfneblin]]s are the obligatory [[Underdark]] branch of the gnome family tree. Most known for their obsession with gemstones and for being the one Underdark counterpart race who aren't evil. See their own page for more details.

Arcane Gnomes are a rock gnome subspecies introduced in [[Dragon Magazine]] #291. Basically, these are rock gnomes who have gone urbanized to truly focus on mastering arcane magic, losing the more "woodsy" benefits of their rock gnome kindred and instead developing stronger wizardly traits. Mostly this manifests as losing the "speak with animals" ability inherent to most gnomes and gaining some classic "wizard's apprentice" cantrips as spell-like abilities (Ghost Sound, Dancing Lights and Prestidigitation), plus the ability to always use magical devices.

River Gnomes hail from the same Dragon Magazine issue as Arcane Gnomes, and basically are to the rivers what forest gnomes are to the forests. They're mostly known for being really good swimmers.

Wavecrest Gnomes, who hail from the "Stormwrack" coastal/aquatic sourcebook for 3e, are the coastal equivalents to River Gnomes. They're good at swimming and natural sailors. Not a lot more to say about them than that.

Ice Gnomes are another "environmental sourcebook" subrace. Hailing from 3e's Frostfell, they are the gnomes who inhabit "frostfell" regions - taigas, tundras, high mountains, basically the really cold parts of the world. They're essentially a watered-down version of the [[Uldra]], a small dwarven/elfin-like fey creature that shares the same environment.

Skygnomes are a [[Mystara]]n relative of the rock gnome who truly embrace their racial proclivities for magic and science to become competent tinker gnomes. These guys are so adept with [[magitek]] that they built their own homeland, in the form of a flying city-state the size of a small country which they defend with an armada of magitek biplanes. Told you these guys were competent.

[[Tinker Gnome]]s are one of the most well-known - and [[skub]]by - gnomish subraces. Created by a divine curse leveled on failed human worshippers of [[Reorx]], the [[Dragonlance|Krynnish]] god of craftsmanship and invention, Tinker Gnomes are obsessed with '''SCIENCE!''' but cursed to be utterly incapable of ever applying it successfully due to their insistence on making all their machines as complex as possible. They were supposed to be a comic relief race - and as this is the same setting that gave us the [[kender]] for the same reasons, you can figure out that it didn't work so good. These gnomes are also known as "Minoi".

Thinker Gnomes are rare Tinker Gnomes who have managed to shake off the worst of Reorx's curse, allowing them to actually do their science properly. Unfortunately, outside of the little-studied continent of Taladas, they are a distinct minority in a race that has come to define its very culture around the deep side-effects of their racial curse. As such, they are known as "mad gnomes" by their cursed kinsfolk. They call themselves the Gnomoi.

[[Feywild]] Gnomes, as discussed above, are a race of diminutive [[eladrin]]-like fey who have been shaped extensively by a history of slavery under the thumb of the [[fomorian]]s. They are charming but paranoid people, ever protective of their personal liberty, and with a potent natural knack for illusions.

[[Golarion]] Gnomes are, like [[Feywild]] Gnomes, a species of [[fey]] creature. Lacking access to the vibrant energies of their [[Plane of Faerie|faerieland]] home forces them to seek constant emotional and mental stimulation, lest they be literally killed by apathy. [[Bleachling]]s are a subrace of this subrace; older gnomes who have succumbed to the [[Bleaching]], but somehow survived the final stages, gaining enhanced longevity, greater mental stability and an affinity for the magic of nature. The two races don't get on; gnomes find bleachlings creepy on the level of being walking corpses, whilst bleachlings look down on their "immature" counterparts.

===Gnomish Religion===
Gnomes in D&D worship a small and tightly focused pantheon; emphasizing just how unimportant they are, whereas [[Moradin]] and [[Corellon]] have found audiences beyond the gnomish, the gnome gods have been pretty much forgotten by all but greybeards. They did receive a large update in 5th edition's Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes. According to ''[[Demihuman Deities]]'', they are collectively known as ''The Lords of the Golden Hills'', rather than having a snazzy one-word pantheon name like the [[Seldarine]] and the [[Morndinsamman]].

'''[[Baervan Wildwanderer]]''' (BAY-urh-van) gnome deity of forests, travel, and nature. Baervan lives in the gnomish realm of the ''Golden Hills'' on the plane of [[Bytopia]]. Baervan's clerics wear wood-brown clothes and green caps. His sacred animal is the raccoon. Baervan's holy days are on the full moon, and he is worshipped in forest clearings. Treasured items are sacrificed to him monthly. He was first detailed in Roger E. Moore's article "The Gnomish Point of View," in ''Dragon'' #61 (TSR, 1982).

'''[[Baravar Cloakshadow]]''' (BARE-uh-vahr CLOKE-sha-doh) is the gnomish deity of illusions, protection, and deception. He creates traps and illusions of stunning complexity and cunning. He is somewhat mean-spirited compared to most of the other gnomish gods, and his pranks may cause even his friends real pain, at least emotionally. He genuinely hates the [[kobold]], [[goblinoid]], and [[orc]]ish races, believing they cannot be expected to reform. His symbol is a cloak and dagger. Baravar Cloakshadow was first detailed in the book ''Monster Mythology'' (1992), including details about his priesthood. His role in the cosmology of the Planescape campaign setting was described in ''On Hallowed Ground'' (1996).

'''[[Callarduran Smoothhands]]''' is the gnomish [[god]] of the earth and the [[patron deity]] of the [[svirfneblin]] (deep gnomes), as he is not very popular among other gnome subraces. Unlike other gods of the [[Underdark]], he is not an outcast. He voluntarily led his people to the depths as a means of encouraging diversity among the gnomes. Callarduran Smoothhands is a [[True Neutral]] [[Intermediate Power]]. His symbol is a golden ring with a ruby star on it. Callarduran Smoothhands was first detailed in the book ''Monster Mythology'' (1992), including details about his priesthood.

'''[[Flandal Steelskin]]''' is the gnome deity of mining, smithing, and fitness. His symbol is a flaming hammer. He appears as a balding, aging gnome with skin the color of blue mithral steel, eyes like flaming coals, and hair of brilliant blue-silver. He wears a leather apron over the rest of his clothes, and carries ''Rhondang'', an intelligent axe-backed hammer made of yellowish metal. He is the strongest of the gnomish pantheon and is able to sniff out veins of any ore with his prodigious nose. As such, he is the patron of gnomish warriors, miners and metalworkers. Flandal Steelskin was first detailed in Roger E. Moore's article "The Gnomish Point of View," in ''Dragon]' #61.

'''[[Gaerdal Ironhand]]''' is the gnome deity of protection, vigilance, and combat. Gaerdal Ironhand was first detailed in the book ''[[Monster Mythology]]'' (1992), including details about his priesthood. Gaerdal lives in ''Stronghaven'' in the gnomish realm of the ''Golden Hills'' on the plane of [[Bytopia]].

'''[[Garl Glittergold]]''' is the patron deity of gnomes. His symbol is a gold nugget. Garl carries an intelligent axe named ''Arumdina''. Garl Glittergold was created by James M. Ward for the ''[[Deities and Demigods]] Cyclopedia'' (1980).

'''[[Gelf Darkhearth]]''' is the gnomish deity of entropy and revenge. He was introduced in the ''[[Races of X|Races of Stone]]'' supplement book. Gelf is Garl Glittergold's brother, and rarely have two brothers been more bitter rivals. Gelf, depicted as a gray-skinned [[dwarf]] with a black beard, takes obsessive delight in opposing everything his brother attempts. This compulsion puts Gelf in the tragic position of tearing down the gnome society he loves, just to thwart Garl Glittergold. Gelf isn't evil, but he feels compelled to destroy everything Garl holds dear. Gelf is an angry, sorrowful deity, and he attracts followers of similar temperament. The reason for Gelf's attitude and rivalry with Garl is not known, but it is possibly because they both covet the Gnomish goddess of love Sheyanna Flaxenstrand. Gelf's holy symbol is a black anvil that is split in two, set against a murky purple background. His favored weapon is the warhammer.

'''[[The Glutton]]''' is the gnomish deity of disaster and greed. He was introduced in the ''[[Races of X|Races of Stone]]'' supplemental book. The Glutton is usually depicted as a massive, ravenous badger or wolverine. The Glutton figures prominently in the bedtime stories gnomes tell naughty children -- "Go to sleep or The Glutton will get you!" The Glutton is blamed whenever a burrow collapses or another misfortune befalls the gnomes. It is said that The Glutton was once a gnome who was cursed with a hideous form and a desire to consume the gnomes and all they hold dear (why is not known). His holy symbol is a gaping, fanged mouth surrounded by what looks like a golden band, and what appears to be a smear of pink blood behind it. His favored weapon is the heavy mace.

'''[[Nebelun]]''' was first detailed in the book ''Monster Mythology'' (1992), including details about his priesthood. His role in the cosmology of the Planescape campaign setting was described in ''On Hallowed Ground'' (1996). Nebelun manifests as a spry old gnome with a black frock-coat and glasses. He carries a black leather bag containing many bizarre tools and items. His hat is a ''hat of disguise'', and his mace doubles as a ''wand of wonder''. He can appear and disappear seemingly randomly.

'''[[Rill Cleverthrush]]''', the lawful neutral god of invention, creation, and the sky. He is portrayed as an elderly, bespeckled gnome carrying a staggeringly complex ruby said to have a facet for every living gnome. His domains are Air, Knowledge, Magic, Travel, and his favored weapon is the longsword. His holy text is a set of natural laws and instructions for living called ''Rill's Instructions to the Faithful''. He appeared in ''[[Races of X|Races of Stone]]''.

'''[[Segojan Earthcaller]]''' is the gnome deity of earth and nature. Unlike [[Baervan Wildwanderer]], who is a god of the plants and forests of the surface world, Segojan's area of concern is the deep earth and the life within it. He is said to have given the gnomes their ability to communicate with burrowing mammals. His symbol is a glowing gemstone; usually this is a finely cut gem of any type in which illusion spells have been cast to provide magical light. This can be any gem, but Segojan is associated strongly with diamonds. The god's own power makes these spells permanent as long as they are carried by his priests. His sacred animal is the badger. Segojan Earthcaller was first detailed in Roger E. Moore's article "The Gnomish Point of View," in 'Dragon'' #61.

'''[[Sheyanna Flaxenstrand]]''' is the gnome goddess of of love and passion, introduced in the ''[[Races of X|Races of Stone]]'' supplemental book. She is said to appear as a delicate, blonde-haired gnomish maiden of the most incredible beauty. Though her heart is desired by both Garl Glittergold and Gelf Darkhearth, she does not reciprocate their desires, but instead focuses on promoting love, marriage and fertility amongst the gnomish races. She is the only gnomish goddess ever mentioned in D&D canon across editions. Her domains are Chaos, Fire, Good and Healing, and the favored weapon of her followers is the heavy flail. Like most gnomish deities, she carries an intelligent magical item for company; a golden torch named ''Hearthlight'' that can spew a fountain of flames wherever she points it.

'''[[Urdlen]]''' is the gnome deity of greed and blood. Urdlen was first detailed in Roger E. Moore's article "The Gnomish Point of View," in ''Dragon'' #61 Urdlen is the enemy of the gnomish and [[halfling]] pantheons. The hero-deity [[Roykyn]] was formerly a priestess of the Crawler Below. Urdlen's realm is the ''Worm Realm'', located on the 399th layer of the [[Abyss]]. Urdlen is worshiped in underground caverns. Sacrifices of blood and jewels are made to it annually. Its holy day is the winter solstice.

===PC Stats===
For stats for the [[Svirfneblin]] and [[Tinker Gnome]] variants, see their respective pages.

====AD&D 1e====
::Ability Score Minimum/Maximum: Strength 6/18, Dexterity 3/18, Constitution 8/18, Intelligence 7/18, Wisdom 3/18, Charisma 3/18
:::Female Gnomes reduce their Maximum Strength value to 15.
::Ability Score Adjustments: None
::Class & Level Limitations: [[Cleric]] 7, [[Fighter]] 5 (6 if they have Str 18), [[Illusionist]] 5 (6 if Int and Dex are 17, 7 if Int and Dex are 18), [[Thief]] Unlimited, [[Assassin]] 8
::+1 racial bonus to saving throws vs. wands/staves/rods/spells per 3.5 points of Constitution.
::Infravision 60 feet
::80% chance to detect grade/slope in a passage.
::70% chance to detect unsafe walls, ceilings or floors.
::60% chance to determine approximate depth underground.
::50% chance to determine direction of travel underground.
::+1 racial bonus to attack rolls against [[kobold]]s and [[goblin]]s.
::-4 to Armor Class against [[gnoll]]s, [[bugbear]]s, [[ogre]]s, [[troll]]s, [[oni]], [[giant]]s and [[titan]]s.

====AD&D 2e====
'''Rock Gnomes'''
::Ability Score Minimum/Maximum: Strength 6/18, Dexterity 3/18, Constitution 8/18, Intelligence 7/19, Wisdom 3/17, Charisma 3/18
::Ability Score Adjustments: +1 Intelligence, -1 Wisdom
::Infravision 60 feet
::Speak to Burrowing Animals
::Detect Underground Features: Sloping Passages (1-5 on a d6), Flawed Stonework (1-7 on a d10), approximate depth underground (1-4 on a d6) and approximate direction underground (1-3 on a d6).
::Gain a +1 bonus to save vs. spell for every 3.5 points of Constitution.
::+1 to melee attack rolls against [[kobold]]s and [[goblin]]s.
::-4 bonus to Armor Class against all [[Giant]] class creatures.

'''Forest Gnomes'''
::Ability Score Minimum/Maximum: Strength 3/17, Dexterity 8/19, Constitution 8/18, Intelligence 3/17, Wisdom 6/18, Charisma 3/18
::Ability Score Adjustments: +1 Dexterity, +1 Wisdom, -1 Strength, -1 Intelligence
::Speak to Forest Animals
::Pass Without Trace: Forest Gnomes leave no trace of their passage in any kind of wooded terrain.
::Gain a +1 bonus to save vs. spell for every 3.5 points of Constitution.
::Hide In Woods: A Forest Gnome inflicts a -4 penalty to its opponents' Surprise Rolls when in woodlands.
::-4 bonus to Armor CLass when fighting man-sized or larger creatures.
::+1 bonus to all attack & damage rolls when fighting [[orc]]s, [[lizardfolk]], [[troglodyte]]s or any creature they have directly observed damaging the woodlands.

====3rd Edition====
'''Common/Rock Gnome'''
::+2 Constitution, -2 Strength
::Small
::Base Land Speed 20 feet
::Low-Light Vision
::Weapon Familiarity: Gnomish Hooked Hammer
::+2 racial bonus on saving throws vs. illusions.
::Illusion spells cast by a gnome increase their Saving DC by +1.
::+1 racial bonus on attack rolls against [[kobold]]s and [[goblinoid]]s.
::+4 dodge bonus to Armor Class against Giant type creatures.
::+2 racial bonus on Listen and Craft (Alchemy) checks.
::Spell-Like Abilities: Speak With Animals (Burrowing Animals only) 1/day. A gnome with Charisma 10+ can also cast Dancing Lights, Ghost Sound and Prestidigitation 1/day.
::[[Favored Class]]: [[Bard]]

Like all the PHB races that weren't [[Human]] and [[Dwarf]], Gnome is incredibly underwhelming in core.

Various other gnomish subraces popped up in other sources.

Gnomes in the [[Ravenloft]] 3e setting are unchanged, bar the fact they have an [[Outsider Rating]] of 2.

Races of Faerun reintroduced that old gnomish subrace, the '''Forest Gnome''', which makes the following tweaks to the standard gnome PC profile:
::+4 racial bonus on Hide checks, increasing to +8 in forest settings.
::+1 racial bonus on attack rolls against [[kobold]]s, [[orc]]s, [[goblinoid]]s and [[scalykind|reptilian humanoids]].
::Bonus Spell-Like Abilities: Pass Without Trace and Speak With Animals, both At-Will, both Self Only, with caster level equaling a [[Druid]]] of the forest gnome's character level.
::[[Level Adjustment]]: +1
::[[Favored Class]]: [[Illusionist]]

[[Dragon Magazine]] #291 introduced two new subraces; the '''Arcane Gnome''' and the '''River Gnome'''.

''Arcane Gnomes'' are a subspecies of gnome that has begun developing from gnomish [[wizard]] families dwelling in suburbanized areas, resulting in lessened aptitude for their traditional nature-based powers and increased aptitude for arcane magic. An Arcane Gnome PC makes the following tweaks to the gnome racial writeup:
::Ability Score Modifiers become +2 Consitution, +2 Intelligence, -2 Strength, -2 Wisdom.
::Use Magical Device is always a class skill.
::Lose the Speak With Animals spell-like ability.
::Changes [[Favored Class]] from [[Bard]] to [[Wizard]].

''River Gnomes'' are akin to Forest Gnomes, but settling along the banks of rivers or in caves concealed behind waterfalls. They are share a similar reclusive attitude to forest gnomes, and are known for their swimming abilities and agility. River Gnomes tweak the gnome PC stats like so:
::Speak With Animals works on river animals, not burrowing animals.
::Swim speed 20 feet, +8 racial bonus to Swim checks, can always Take 10 on a Swim check, can Run whilst swimming if they move in a straight line.
::Can hold breath for rounds equal to 4 times their Constitution score.
::+1 racial bonus to Initiative checks.
::Lose the Dancing Lights, Ghost Sound and Prestidigitation spell-like abilities.

When it came to environmental variants, the gnomes got the short stick. Only Frostburn and Stormwrack introduced new subspecies, and the Frostburn subspecies was particularly lackluster - perhaps becase of the overlap with the [[Uldra]].

'''Ice Gnomes''' are frostfell gnomes who really don't differ much from their common rock gnome kindred outside those necessary cultural tweaks required to survive where they do. Ice Gnome PCs simply need to tweak their spell-like abilities; their Speak With Animals functions on arctic mammals only, whilst their bonus SLAs for high [[Charisma]] are Dancing Lights, Prestidigitation and Ray of Frost.

'''Wavecrest Gnomes''', in comparison, are coastal gnomes, who settle small islands and hidden lagoons, where they build villages of half-buried, round-topped buildings along the coasts and shorelines. Wavecrest gnomes make the following PC tweaks:
::Racial bonus to attack rolls against [[kobold]]s and [[goblinoid]]s is replaced with a +1 racial bonus to attack rolls against [[locathah]] and [[sahuagin]].
::Spell-like Abilities are changed: Speak With Animals only functions on sea birds, bonus SLAs for high [[Charisma]] are Dancing Lights, Know Direction and Prestigiditation.

Races of Stone finished the family tree with two new divergent races...

'''Chaos Gnomes''', also called '''Imago''' (plural and singular), are a gnomish subbreed infused with the raw essence of chaos, especially in the form of arcane magic and luck. They can perhaps be seen as a further mutation of the Arcane Gnome subrace, where generations of wizardly study have mutated them and resulted in a more potent and direct connection to the raw energies of magic. Whilst usually seen as slightly mad, they also possess their own intuitive form of brilliance. They are fascinated by probability, chance and randomness, love arcane magic, and have a great sense of humor, though rarely become tricksters or pranksters. They look much like most gnomes, but their eyes are brightly colored, changing between red, blue, green and violet depending on their mood. Their hair is similarly bright, ranging from vivid red to blond.
::+2 Dexterity, +2 Constitution, +2 Charisma, -2 Strength
::Small
::Base Speed 20 feet
::Low-light Vision
::Weapon Familiarity: Gnome Hooked Hammers are Martial Weapons for a chaos gnome.
::Spell Power: A chaos gnome's effective caster level is increased by +1 when casting a spell with the Chaos descriptor. This stacks with other spell power abilities.
::+4 dodge bonus to Armor Class against [[Giant]]-type monsters.
::+2 racial bonus to Listen checks.
::Luck of Chaos (Ex): Once per day, a chaos gnome can immediately declare a reroll of a roll they have made. This is done before the results are declared by the DM, and the second result must be taken, even if it changes success into failure.
::Immune to Confusion effects.
::Spell-like Abilities: Entropic Shield 1/day. A chaos gnome with Charisma 10+ can also cast Daze, Flare and Prestidigitation, 1/day each. For all SLAs, caster level is 1st, with save DC 10 + chaos gnome's Cha modifier + Spell level.
::[[Level Adjustment]]: +1
::[[Favored Class]]: [[Sorcerer (Dungeons & Dragons)|Sorcerer]].

'''Whisper Gnomes''' are a secretive, suspicious, and reclusive branch of the gnome family tree. Experts in stealth even by gnomish standards, these paranoid gnomes distrust all other races, including their rock gnome kindred, and are greeted with equal suspiciousness in turn. They stand slightly taller than most gnomes, and have drab colorations, with light gray to light green skin and pale blue or gray eyes.
::+2 Dexterity, +2 Constitution, -2 Strength, -2 Charisma
::Small
::Base speed 30 feet
::Low-light Vision
::Darkvision 60 feet
::Weapon Familiarity: Gnome Hooked Hammers are Martial Weapons for a whisper gnome.
::+1 racial bonus on attack rolls against [[kobold]]s and [[goblinoid]]s.
::+4 dodge bonus to Armor Class against [[Giant]]-type creatures.
::+4 racial bonus on Hide and Move Silently checks.
::+2 racial bonus on Listen and Spot checks.
::Spell Like Abilities: Silence 1/day (centered on whisper gnome). Whisper Gnomes with Charisma 10+ can also cast Ghost Sound, Mage Hand and Message 1/day each. All have a caster level of 1st and a Save DC of 10 + whisper gnome's Cha modifier + spell level.
::[[Favored Class]]: [[Rogue]]

It also introduced the one reasons to play a Gnome in 3E: The Gnome Illusionist substitution levels and Shadowcraft Mage. The Gnome Illusionist variant trades penalties with various schools of magic for earlier access to illusion spells (most importantly Silent Image as a cantrip). Shadowcraft Mage is a Gnome-only [[Prestige Class]] lets the user make ''all'' illusions they cast function as the Shadow X (Shadow Conjuration, Shadow Evocation ect.) line of spells, allowing them to cast any Sorcerer/Wizard spell from the Conjuration (creation), Conjuration (summoning) or Evocation school of lower level at the cost people may not believe it and be partially effected. The class also gets the ability to make Shadow X spells more real on a failed save. On its own this is merely a good class, but there's two (not necessarily mutually exclusive) ways to break it in two.

The first is to raise the spell level of an illusion spell without raising the spell slot it requires. Just combining any metamagic reducers with Heighten Spell is enough to break this to absurd levels. Arcane Discipline can make Miracle a Sorcerer/Wizard evocation spell. This means you can preform acts of god with a cantrip.

The second method is to combine various ways to increase the partial reality of shadow bases spells. If you combine enough of these you can reach in excess of 100% realness, with 140% being the record. This means you can do things like create 70 proof alcohol.

====4th Edition====
There are three distinct gnome races in 4th edition. This page covers the Feywild/Common Gnome (PHB2) - for the [[Tinker Gnome]] ([[Dragon Magazine]] #420) and the [[Svirfneblin]] (Dungeon Survival Handbook), see their own pages.

'''Feywild Gnome:'''
::Ability Score Modifiers: +2 Intelligence, +2 Charisma OR +2 Dexterity
::Size: Small
::Speed: 5 squares
::Vision: Low-Light
::Skill Bonuses: +2 Arcana, +2 Stealth
::Fey Origin: You are a Fey creature for effects that key off of origin.
::Master Trickster: You can cast the Ghost Sound cantrip 1/encounter as a minor action.
::Reactive Stealth: If you have any cover or concealment wen making an Initiative check, you can also make a Stealth check.
::Trickster's Cunning: +5 racial bonus to all saving throws against illusions.
::Racial Power - Fade Away: You can become Invisible until the end of your next turn or until you attack as an Immediate Reaction to taking damage.

====5th Edition====
::Ability Score: +2 Intelligence.
::Typical Alignment: Any Good Alignment
::Size: Small. Between 3 and 4 feet tall, and clocking in at an average of 40 pounds.
::Speed: Base walking speed of 25 feet.
::Darkvision
::Gnome Cunning: Advantage on all mental (Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma) saving throws against magic.
::Languages: Common, Gnomish

'''Forest Gnomes'''
::Ability Score: +1 Dexterity
::Natural Illusionist: Free Minor Illusion Cantrip, with Intelligence as the modifier.
::Speak with Small Beasts: You can communicate simple ideas with Small or smaller beasts through sounds and gestures. Be prepared for your party to ask if you're having a stroke if you use this.

'''Rock Gnome'''
::Ability Score: +1 Constitution
::Artificer's Lore: Double Proficiency bonus when making History checks related to magic items, alchemical objects, or technological devices.
::Tinker: Proficiency with Tinker's Tools. Using the tools, you can spend an hour and 10 gp worth of materials to construct a Tiny clockwork device. It ceases to function after 24 hours unless you spend 1 hour repairing it, or you use an action to dismantle it. At that time, you can reclaim the materials used to create it. You can only have three active at one time.
* Clockwork Toy: The toy is a clockwork animal, monster, or person. When activated and placed on the ground, they toy moves five feet in a random direction. It makes noises appropriate to the creature it represents.
* Fire Starter: It's a lighter. Use requires an action.
* Music Box: When opened, the box plays a single song at a moderate volume. The box stops playing upon reaching the songs end or when it's closed.

'''Deep Gnome (Svirfneblin)'''
::Ability Score: +1 Dex
::Actually have shorter lives. Only 200-250 years, and consequently, are considered full grown adults by 25.
::Typical Alignment: Any Neutral Alignment.
::Superior Darkvision
::Stone Camouflage: Advantage on Stealth checks to hide in rocky terrain.
::Languages: Common, Gnomish, Undercommon
::Optional Feat: Svirfneblin Magic. While the other members of the Underdark Crew automatically get their magic, the svirf's have to waste an ASI to get a feat to get theirs. That said, it includes:
* Nondetection (at-will, self only)
* Blindness/Deafness (once-a-day, long rest recharge)
* Blur (once-a-day, long rest recharge)
* Disguise Self (once-a-day, long rest recharge)
* Intelligence is their modifier for all spells.

=====Farlandish Gnomes=====
In addition to the standard Rock and Forest Gnome subraces, which here are called ''Tunnel Gnomes'' and ''Sun Gnomes'', the gnomes of the [[World of Farland]] have three unique subraces.

'''Crown Gnomes''' are the traditional leadership cast of the gnomish race, and reputed to have [[dwarf]] blood. They appear in both the Player's Guide and the historical "War of the Immortals" subsetting, with the following stats:
::Ability Score Increase: +1 Wisdom
::Born Leader: You are Proficient in Persuasion and can cast the Friends cantrip using Wisdom as your spellcasting ability score.

'''Fairy Gnomes''' are the distant ancestors of the Sun Gnomes, and have presumably gone extinct in the modern era. They were noted for sometimes having minor animal features, such as tails or ears.
::Ability Score Increase: +1 Charisma
::Fairy Magic: After completing a long rest, select one Cantrip from the [[Bard]] spell list. You can use that Cantrip until you next complete a long rest, using Charisma as your spellcasting ability score.
::Forest Camouflage: You have Advantage on Stealth checks in forested terrain.

'''Snow Gnomes''' descend from gnomes driven from their homeland who fled to the arctic wasteland of Cadocia, where they have concealed themselves behind layers of protective illusions and basically adopted a "the whole world is out to get us!" mentality that has kept them in isolation for centuries.
::Ability Score Increase: +1 Charisma
::Inured to Cold: You have Resistance to Cold damage.
::Smooth Talker: You have Proficiency in the Bluff skill.
::Illusion-wise: You have Advantage on saving throws and checks relating to illusions.

==Gnomes in Pathfinder==
In ''[[Pathfinder]]'' Gnomes gain the following over 3.5 Gnomes
::+2 Charisma
::+2 to Perception
::+2 to a craft or profession skill of their choice instead of just alchemy
::Weapon familiarity applies to any weapon with "Gnome" in the name.

Gnomes are still pretty lame in Pathfinder. Since [[Halflings]] also got a bonus to Charisma and penalty to Strength while gaining superior racial traits and options otherwise (including alternate racial traits), there's not much reason to be a Gnome.

Lorewise Gnomes are descended from former inhabitants of the First World, essentially the god's beta test for creating the world before they implemented souls and the afterlife. The ancestors of modern gnomes were extraplanar travelers who realized their kids had souls and could go to the afterlife instead of respawning or ceasing to exist if they were off the first world. Gnomes have one unique aspect: The Bleaching. If [[Golarion]] Gnomes get bored they lose all pigmentation and eventually die if they get bored enough. It's not really emphasized and not really enough to save them. Indeed it makes them worse in many ways since it disqualifies them from a lot of possible professions.

==Gnomes in Monster Hunter International==
Gnomes in ''[[Monster Hunter International]]'' play up the extortionist angle of fey. Originally gnomes shook down farmers for offerings and killed livestock if they weren't appeased, and in the present day have turned that into modern "gangstas". Since they are so small (~18 inches tall), for them a .380 is considered a big handgun. While silver works on them they lack truly superhuman durability and lead bullets are sufficient, which is good since they work in gangs and are small, agile targets. They have invisibility and short range teleportation, meaning they are really good at stealth and are good spies. As fey creations, they potentially have access to magic. Don't call them lawn ornaments or short.

No PUFF exempt Gnomes are known. They are however known to be sane enough to honor deals and debts with humans and are common enough a PUFF exempt one is plausible. They'd likely be seen as traitors by other Gnomes though.

==Gnomes vs. Dwarves==
Part of the reason gnomes struggle to this day with finding an identity is that they overlap too much with dwarves. Which is to be expected, since gnomes (at least the iconic D&D version) were basically made by throwing together various dwarf-like mythical beings into one and dwarves were made to be expies of Nordic dwarves by way of [[Tolkien]]. It's far too easy for gnomes to fall into the trap of defining themselves as being "whatever dwarves aren't" - and if that's no longer the case, the gnomish identity struggled. The ability for dwarves to cast arcane magic alone was a huge blow against them when 3e came out.

Another part of the problem is that, really, anything gnomes can do, dwarves can do. This is most readily seen in how dwarves are often the go-to "tech guy" race in settings that don't adhere to [[Medieval Stasis]], despite the gnome's increasing attempts to be associated with fantasy technology and [[magitek]].

==The Tinker Gnome Phenomenon==
As part of the general and ongoing attempt to make gnomes interesting, many settings have tried the path of making them tinkers. The general logic is that they have a vaguely-dwarfish industriousness and affinity for the sciences, but a distinctly undwarfy knack for magic, inventiveness, and prizing the new over the tried, true and traditional. So, they are a logical fit for a race that tries to create new inventions and things. In settings featuring them, dwarves may be better at rune-crafting or forging masterwork gear, but gnomes will be the ones who create [[steampunk]] and guns.

The very first example of this was in [[Mystara]], where the gnomish civilization is a ''flying city-state'', defended by ''manned machine-gun turrets and fully-functional biplanes''. Sadly, like most Mystaran stuff, it is generally unknown except to a few ancient neckbeards.

The most famous example, sadly, are the [[Tinker Gnome|Minoi]] of [[Dragonlance]]. Unfortunately, as with the [[Gully dwarf|Gully Dwarves]] and the notorious [[Kender]], Tinker Gnomes were intended to be a Comic Relief race. So, once again, the authors failed to realise that A: traits that make one character amusing often become boring/embarrassing/ridiculous when applied to a whole race, and B: a race that is intended to be playable shouldn't come with traits that seem tailor-made for a character to be used as an excuse to piss off the rest of the party. With lore that they used to be humans who served [[Reorx]], the God of Creation, during the mythic era, only to anger him and be cursed and cast from his forge, condemned to never again be able to properly apply the creativity he had given them, the end result is that Krynnish Tinker Gnomes are a race of bungling idiots who deliberately overcomplicate their machinery because they find the extremes of Rube Goldberg design to be more aesthetically pleasing and "scientific", these dumb fucks would actually rather find a new way to fail than a way to succeed -- it's actually considered quite embarrassing by Tinker Gnomes to succeed at making something that does what it's supposed to. There are gnomes in Krynn that actually don't have this curse... Tinker Gnomes have the audacity to call them "Mad Gnomes". Most gnome-fans hate them, as they are implicitly called out as being responsible for Krynn's [[Medieval Stasis]]. Even in The Complete Book of Gnomes & Halflings, there's quotes from "real" gnomes denying that Tinker Gnomes are any relation to them, showing that TSR itself may have been aware of what sort of hack writers they had behind them.

Perhaps fortunately, the tinker gnome phenomena has mostly become associated in the modern era with the gnomes of [[Warcraft]], who are kooky and like to try the outrageous, but also prize functionality and safety (in contrast to [[goblin]]s, who are happy to risk being blown to bits if it means they get it working faster).

==Famous Gnomes==
* [[Dimkin of the Stump]]: The only Gnome who has left a written record of his travels is '''Dimkin of the Stump''', whose journal makes reference to a mysterious land with a vast plain of turnips and enormous landmarks that seem almost like constructions.
* [[Baldur's Gate|Jan Jansen]]: Tinker, tailor, wizard, turnip salesgnome. He ''seems'' stupid, until his army of knife-wielding gibbon commandos invades your house, saves his childhood sweetheart, and assassinates you. Anything is possible with ''that'' many heavily-armed apes.
* High Tinker Gelbin Mekkatorque: Informally known as King of the Gnomes (in exile), he is actually an elected leader, holding the position for an indefinite term. He and a substantial fraction of the total gnome population fled from their homes in Gnomeregan after an environmental disaster, and is now trying to recapture their old home.
* Underpants Gnomes: ...those little shits [[Profit|stole]] my boxers.

===David the Gnome===
If you hang out on /tg/ long enough, eventually, you're going to see a macro. A still from a cartoon, depicting a garden gnome-like figure with a blue shirt and a red hat. He's frowning intensely and has both hands clenched into fists, and emblazoned on the pic will be some variant of "How about I slap your shit".

This is David the Gnome, originally the star of a series of Dutch children's books presented as a anthropological study of the gnomes written by Wil Huygens and illustrated by Rien Poortvliet, whose influence on the series was as defining as [[Tony DiTerlizzi]]'s art was for [[Planescape]]. One of the books going into depth about gnome biology shows has a picture of [[PROMOTIONS|a shy topless female gnome]], with the description that [[Magical Realm|because of the firmness of their breasts female gnomes have no need for bras]]. Oh you, Netherlands. It was made into a very popular animated series in the mid 1980s by a Spanish studio. The English dub had David voiced by the eerily gnomish Tom "Father Dowling/Mr Cunningham" Bosley. In a mountain forest, David lives the life of a goodly [[druid]]; telling lessons about nature to the audience off-screen whilst on-screen rescuing cute animals from danger, patching up their injuries and curing their sicknesses, all whilst protecting the forest from beings who would harm it. He frequently clashed with gnome-eating trolls, whom he defeated with his wits and [[trap]]s.

It is perhaps most famous for its soul-crushing ending. See, throughout the series, we're told that gnomes only live to be 400 years old - and both David and his wife are 399 at the start of the series. Most cartoons would have just ended in some upbeat fashion, but not The World of David The Gnome. Oh no! Instead, those tuning in for the final episode got to see the clock tick around to the gnomes' 400th year, whereupon they stagger out into the forest, withering quickly under the onslaught of age, share one final embrace, and then turn into a pair of young trees. And then just to reinforce that they're dead, we see their ghosts/souls emerge from the trees, hug each other again, and go dancing off into the sky to the gnomish equivalent of Heaven, all whilst David's series-long partner, a fox named Swift, lays down at the foot of the trees and cries his heart out.

Sweet fucking [[Garl Glittergold]], that was a depressing ending...

==Monstergirls==
{{Monstergirls}}
As one of the [[demihuman]] races, you'd expect gnomes to get the [[monstergirls]] treatment pretty regularly - they are, after all, as close as you can get to a canon [[shortstack]] race in D&D. But, you'd be surprised; gnomish monstergirls are actually very rare, even though attractive female gnomes have been canon to D&D since at least 3rd edition. The root cause of this? Probably the fact that gnomes don't really have any unique defining culture or traits to build from. After all, what does a sexy female gnome have that you can't get from, say, a good-humored female [[dwarf]], or a mischievous [[halfling]] [[illusionist]]?

For the most part, if you see a "sexy" gnome on /tg/, /d/ or /aco/, it'll be either a [[Rule 34]] of the gnomes from [[Warcraft]], or else a tinker gnome heavily inspired by said - for all Warcraft's faults, it's still the closest thing to a unique and non-annoying gnome culture that people are familiar with... okay, aside from the Feywild & Golarion gnomes, at least.

One of the few /tg/ sources to address this issue is the [[Book of Erotic Fantasy]]. It claims that gnomes really enjoy sex and that bisexuality, partner swapping and group sex are common. They are responsible for some of the most elaborate sex toys and manuals, including the famed ''Gnomish Kama Sutra'', which is often banned outside of Gnomish lands. As long as it does not involve [[Loviatar|BDSM]] gnomes will try it at least once, and later try it again in new and interesting ways. Foreplay is considered to be very important for both sexes, and the act itself is supposed to be fun and exciting for everyone involved. Breeding with other species is about as difficult as it is for dwarves, making gnomes more likely to [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|try everything at least once just to see how it feels]]. This outlook on sex sets them apart from halflings and elves with whom they frequently overlap: to elves it's about the extension of the relationship while for halflings it is what binds the community together on a personal level. This outlook can be added to [[magitek]] interpretations to make them the premier manufacturers of sex toys and dolls... which is sometimes already used for the [[Warcraft]] gnomes.

<center>
<gallery>
File:Gnome Cleric.jpg
File:Gnome Arcanist.jpg
File:Gnome Diva.jpg
File:Drunken Gnome.png
File:Gnome Tavernmaid.png ‎
File:Gnome Thief.jpg
File:Gnome Warrior.jpg
File:Gnome Dualwielder.jpg
File:Brown Gnome Warrior.jpg
File:Busty Gnome Qipao.png
File:Gnome Swashbuckler.jpg
File:Gnome Kensei.jpg
File:Gnome Artificer 1.jpg
File:Gnome Artificer 2.jpg
File:Gnome Artificer 3.jpg
File:WoW Mad Gnome Chef.jpg
File:WoW Gnome Warlock.jpg ‎
File:WoW Gnome Warrior.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

The [[Monster Girl Encyclopedia]] didn't really know what to do with gnomes. It used the name "Gnome" for its Earth [[Elemental]] mamono, a voluptuous [[slime]]-girl-like figure of earth (with its "Dorome" mud elemental variant probably being based on the dorotabo, a yokai that appears as a mud-man), used the common look of a gnome monstergirl for its [[Dwarf]], and gave the "mad tinker" archetype to its [[Gremlin]], a demonic [[loli]] [[catgirl]].

<center>
<gallery>
File:MGE Gnome.jpg|The MGE Gnome goes back to the idea of gnome-as-earth-[[elemental]].
File:MGE Dorome.jpg|The Dorome is the Gnome's gooier bimbo cousin.
File:MGE Dwarf.jpg|The MGE [[Dwarf]] looks more like a conventional MG gnome.
File:MGE Gremlin.jpg|The MGE [[Gremlin]] takes up the gnome's typical "mad sexual [[artificer]]" angle.
</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Rawr Ima monster.jpg|He's a monster, rawr.
File:2e Gnome.gif|What gnomes look like in 2e.
File:2e Gnome 2.jpg|"I shall call him... Mini-[[Old Man Henderson|Henderson]]."
File:Whisper Gnome.jpg|A Whisper Gnome from Races of Stone.
File:4e_Gnome_PHB2.jpg|4e's attempt to make gnomes look badass.
File:Gnomish Dire Weasel Cavalry.jpg|Being Small means you can ride animals that Medium-sized humanoids cannot, like DIRE MINKS.
File:Serpent Wench.jpg|The Serpent Wenches are a clan of half-fey female gnomes who wait tables at the [[World Serpent Inn]].
File:Ravenloft 3e Gnomes.png|The gnomes of [[Ravenloft]] took surprisingly well to the gothic elegance look.
</gallery>

== External links ==
* [http://eye.swfchan.com/flash.asp?id=79003&n=gnomeparty.swf&w=688&h=384 gnomeparty.swf]

{{D&D1e-Races}}
{{D&D2e-Races}}
{{D&D4e-Races}}
{{D&D5e-Races}}
{{Pathfinder-Races}}
{{Starfinder-Races}}

[[Category:Monsters]]

Empire of the Petal Throne

2020-05-20T12:44:45Z

2607:FEA8:E9A0:592D:7151:236B:623C:2C8C:

{{Oldschool}}
{{Promotions}}

[[File:Tekumel-4e-cover.png|thumb|350px|right|Through the ever vigilant eyes of the <s>Dai Li</s> Azul Legion, the omnipresent Emperor sees all; knows all!]]

An elaborate, impressively detailed fictional world created by a distinguished English linguist as a setting for his fictional language he made up as a kid. Features fully-realised history, languages, geography, and cultures with a richness that can only be envied and aped by lesser creators.

Wait, what was I talking about? '''Empire of the Petal Throne'''? Oh, it's okay I guess, if you like eating bugs.

The world is called ''Tekumel'' and the author was Professor M.A.R. "Phil" Barker. There are some novels set there, the first being the Man of Gold.

In the 1970s, people used to learn the languages of this world, apparently.

If you can't tell, this is not a setting you can just jump into like a generic [[Dungeons & Dragons]] setting. It should be called ''"Culture Shock: The Role-Playing Game"'', as it needs a damn primer just to better understand what your characters can and can't do! Just the act of sarcasm or cracking jokes, even with a friend, needs to be handled carefully (if at all) or else you offend someone's honor and you'll have to fight it out, to the death, at the local arena. On top of that, the setting is filled with hard-to-pronounce names with some letters lacking English equivalents (this is basically language porn). Despite being the very first RPG setting ever published (if you ignore [[Greyhawk]] and [[Blackmoor]], as they where nothing more than rule-supplements) the game never reached mainstream popularity in the role-playing community, maintaining only a cult following with mostly [[Grognard|old-time gamers]].

The main appeal is where settings like [[Greyhawk]] and [[Blackmoor]] are the kiddie pool of fantasy settings — fun for what they are, but lacking in depth — Tekumel is the deep-end. This is for players who are sick of vanilla fantasy and want something different, [[PROMOTIONS|exotic]], and challenging.

It could be argued that the actual appeal would be all the topless women in the art, if not for the fact that this game requires a degree of maturity to get into -- if all one wants is the boobage, there are [[EroRPG|other games]] for that. That said, it has a ''lot'' of nice, tasteful nudity.

==The Plane of Tékumel==
===Pre-History===
In the distant year of 2013 (later editions would change this to 20XX), humanity nuked itself into near non-existence. The only areas not effected were the Middle-East and Central America, and so as humanity built itself back up, these regions led the charge. Then some friendly aliens called the Pé Chói came by and granted the survivors the secrets of faster-than-light travel. And so, humanity joined a great community of space faring species, and began to form its own empire, known simply as Humanspace.

===The Discovery of Tékumel===
Skipping ahead to the 61st millennium, one day some of these humans were exploring the star Nu Ophiuchi, and found Tékumel, a nice little planet full of primitive alien life, particularly a pair of sentient species, the Ssú and the Hlüss. Presented with this, the humans did what humans do best. They genocided the shit out of them, forced the survivors to move to move to reservations, and began the process of colonizing and terraforming the planet, replacing most native plant and animal life with genetically engineered species based on those from Earth and going so far as to alter the planet’s very rotation to simulate a 365-day year. Tékumel quickly became one of humanity’s greatest possessions, a paradise world attracting settlers from all across Humanspace, and even the various other intelligent alien species, both friendly or otherwise. If there was one thing that you could say against Tékumel, it was that the planet was unusually poor in metals, especially iron, but since any needed materials could be imported from off world, who cares? This state of utopia continued for 50,000 years.

===The Age of Darkness===
Then, for like, no reason, Tékumel and its entire star system was whisked out of reality and placed into Béthorm, an inescapable pocket dimension. As one would expect, this did not go over well on Tékumel. Tidal waves, earthquakes, and volcanoes destroyed much of civilization, and the Hlüss and Ssú, still a bit miffed from that whole genocide thing, waged war on humanity and the other sentient races in a quest to regain their homeworld. Eventually, things settled down into the time known as the “Latter Times”, during which humanity retained most of its scientific knowledge, though soon even this would be lost. The scientists of this time made a great discovery that would change the course of Tékumel’s history. The ‘walls’ of the pocket universe were thin, and it was found that with great mental strength, one could tap into the energy that flows through the space between universes. And so, magic was invented.

===Modern Day Tékumel===
It is now 50,000 years later, give or take. Humanity and friends have sunken down into a feudalistic pre-industrial society, having forgotten most of the knowledge of their ancestors, to the point that they now believe that the planet is flat (hence their referring to Tékumel as the ‘plane’ of Tékumel), and that their ancestors were gods who brought magical gifts. The lack of metal has not helped this fact, and now the most commonly used material is the tough and malleable hide of an alien rhino species called chlén. The only thing that humanity has gained from getting stuck in this pocket dimension is magic, but even then their knowledge of the mystic arts is less than that of the humans who lived in the Latter Times.
Long story short, the world is filled with alien monsters and about 50,000 years of ruins for you to loot. Tékumel the planet is bigger than Earth, and the setting focuses on a small region called the “Five Empires”, especially the Tsolyánu Empire, which is the titular Empire of the Petal Throne.

==Customs and Culture==
As noted, Tékumel is seeped in customs and culture. So much so, players have to acclimate to the setting's alien morality and sensibilities! Besides all the diacritic-heavy foreign words in play, this is what makes Tékumel so difficult to run. The setting is old-fashion with many things, like the rigid caste system, arranged marriages, slavery, women lacking rights (unless they become “aridani”), and so on. But at the same time, it is strangely progressive for something invented in the early 1940s.

===Outlook===
High morality is based on being Lawful-Neutral. So much so that the old [[Conan the Barbarian|Conan]] trope of "rescuing" a damsel-in-distress from becoming human sacrifice to a nasty blood-god is wholly rejected in Tsolyani society, as people do not question the gods — good or bad — and it is considered a high honor to be so "chosen." Likewise, it would be highly offensive for someone to think less of someone who faithfully follows any of the gods — good or bad — or the temple they serve. In the polytheistic world of Tékumel, the only thing not tolerated is intolerance.

Due to the way the gods and the dead make their presence known, no one question their existence. You would be a fool to think otherwise! People live and die with their noses to the grindstone, enduring life's hardships, knowing that eternal paradise awaits them (if they survive the hellish trek to paradise). Due to this, you will not find philosophers on Tékumel.

Social stratification is seen as the way of life. Clans are separated by class: Slaves & the Clanless, Plebeians, Trade Clans and Nobility. Climbing up the social ladder is frowned upon, and going down it is disgraceful. A lesser casually socializing with a superior is impertinent. A superior casually socializing with a lesser is suspicious.

As noted above, people take all statements, even in jest, very seriously. That is not to say that they are joyless and uptight. Maintaining stoicism and reputation is seen as matter of life-or-death.

===Politics===
Civilization is highly bureaucratic and super conservative. If one were to wake up from a century of hibernation, things will have changed so little that the only real difference will be that all your kin are long dead.

When it comes to religion, bureaucracy, legal matters, asking for directions and so on, there is the expectation of bribery, or "incidentals." Crime and punishment is usually handled by heavy fines levied against the offender's clan. A clan can punish its own members by expulsion or even enslavement, if only to recover some of the cost of legal fines.

While the imperial government has supreme authority over everyone, as everything and everyone belongs to the Emperor, the government seldom affects the day-to-day affairs of people's lives. In truth, the Clans work as micro-nations and mega-corporations with regards to their own members and the other clans they have dealings with. On the other hand, family ties are put aside for the sake of the Empire or the demands of a temple.

===Family===
Their are no "Nuclear Families" on Tékumel, instead, people follow [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iroquois_kinship Iroquois kinship] where many of your aunts and uncles are treated as your "Mothers" and "Fathers", with their kids being "brothers" and "sisters", made even more complicated by the fact that polygamy and same-sex marriage are common. This may sound confusing, but the defused relationship over mothers and fathers brings a child into very loving enviroment as everyone is raising the child. People live in large communal clan houses, with kin houses found all across the five kingdoms. Each clan maintains a specific trade or specialty and jealousy guard their trade secrets. No one uses inns, as travelers usually stay the clan house of kin or at the clan house of someone a traveler considers a "close friend." To be without a clan is to be seen as the worst scum on earth.

First marriages are arranged by clan leaders as a means of barter between clans. “Good Clan Girls” are expected to become wives, and a clan girl declaring herself as “aridani” (an independent woman) can throw the system out of wack. A wife has no rights, property or inheritance, but at the same time, she is immune to all legal prosecution and responsibilities. Men and aridani are also free to marry whom ever they want.

===Entertainment===
There are a number of houses that specializes in one form of entertainment or another, and most clans have members with a talent towards it. Thespians, singers, poets, musicians, dancers, and the like are common throughout the world.

===Sexuality===
People are not embarrassed by sex and nudity, seeing them as normal things. In fact, clothing are more costumes one wears outside to show what clan someone is, along with one's faith, occupation, social and occupational status and political affiliation — like looking at someone's back bumper — than a means of modesty. Adultery is not a big issue as sexual jealousy is frowned upon, and premarital sex is seen as normal. Clan girls typically grow plants that work as a contraceptive when chewed. The clans foster such a strong family support group that having children out of wedlock is not a big deal, and is fairly common.

===Afterthought===
This is just scratching the surface of the setting! Not all of this applies to all the kingdoms and outlying people. Baker was born to be an anthropologist and it shows!

Due to Baker's desire to keep western values and "white savior" fiction out of his setting (as these were common themes that played out in pulp-era of sci-fi and fantasy), he established that anyone with physical features that are anything but dark are seen as a bad omen, to be put down at birth by decree of the gods! So basically the setting is racists against white people, but for in-universe religious reasons.

==The Races of Tékumel==
Tékumel is mostly populated by humans, but also has various other alien species who got trapped here along with us.

===Humans===
[[File:Tsolyáni citizenship document.jpg|thumb|350px|right|Sign your name in the blank line and you will become the vassal, from now on and to the end of time, of the "Emperor-great-excellent-powerful".]]
====Tsolyani====
The Tsolyani humans of Tékumel are in most ways similar to the humans of old Earth, but with some notable cultural differences. For starters, there are, like in many cultures, strict gender roles, many enforced by law, but with the caveat that any woman can declare themselves “aridani”, after which the law will consider them as men, allowing them to do normally male activities like fighting in the military and adventuring. All Tsolyani are born into a clan, with those few clanless Tsolyani being considered inherently untrustworthy, and there is a strong honor system based on what is considered noble or ignoble. Slavery is widespread, and the concept of abolitionism is unheard of. The Tsolyani are polytheistic, and very serious about religion, on account of how most gods can be objectively proven to exist, being strange alien beings from the space between universes.
====N’Luss====
The other notable race of humans in the Five Empires region is the N’Luss. They are huge. So huge that they tower over other human races and in most editions of the game have special rules just for playing them. Unlike most races on Tékumel, who are mostly inspired by middle-eastern and meso-american cultures, the N’Luss are basically Vikings, complete with tribes, bard, raiding, and generations long blood-feuds. They usually come to the Five Empires to fight as mercenaries, and most often return home after their time is done, as they do not integrate well into the culture of the Five Empires.
====Nom====
A nomadic seafarer culture not found the Five Empires, the Nom can be encountered in the seas to East. In contrast to the pale-ass N’Luss, the Nom have skin as black as human skin can possibly be. The most notably thing about the Nom is that they have somehow developed a form of sorcery unique from that found in the Five Empires. Nom spells are catalogued in the form of “spell-pictures”, and every Nom sorcerer only memorizes a single spell. Just the one. They become masters of this one spell, and often change their name to match their own personal spell.
===The Friendly Races===
[[File:Archetypes, plate 4.png|thumb|350px|right|Some of the friendly races.]]
Those species who maintain a friendly relationship with humanity.
====Pe Choi====
The Pe Choi are weird seahorse people and everyone’s friends. They were the ones who gave humanity faster-than-light travel and remain the friendliest species in regards to humanity. They are not uncommon in human cities, where they start dressing and acting like humans. They are generally peaceful, but have the natural ability to tell when one of their kin is murdered up to several miles away, and if they don’t consider the killing just they will go out of their way to absolutely murder the shit out son-of-a-bitch who did it. They are originally from the star Procyon. Their greatest enemy is bees. No seriously, there is a species of bee on Tékumel who, when annoyed, will vibrate at such a high pitch that it will cause the Pe Choi to have seizures.
====Pygmy Folk====
Referring to themselves as the Nininyal, the Pygmy Folk live up to their name by not even being a meter tall. They look like an odd amalgamation of reptilian and rodent features, and have a reputation as being violent and greedy, but are also oddly friendly towards humans. They are originally from the star Mirach.
====Swamp Folk====
Happily living in their humid mud-holes, Swamp Folk are four-legged and two-armed, with a large rubbery crest coming out of their heads and heading down their backs. They are common in human navies and are quick to adopt human customs.
====Tinaliya====
These four-legged two-armed people are even shorter than the pygmy people and look like they’re made of rocks. They are amicable and curious but are also so literal minded as to be incapable of understanding metaphors or jokes. They live underground, are better then anyone at repairing ancient technology, and are essentially Tékumel’s answer to dwarfs. They originate from Algol.

===The Neutral Races===
Those species whose relationship to humans is complicated.
====Ahoggyá====
A species barrel-shaped people with four arms, four legs, and four faces. They have eight sexes, and absolutely no one has figured out how the hell they reproduce. They can be argumentative and difficult to work with. They are originally from the star Achernar.
====Chima====
A race of bipedal seafarers with elephantine noses. The Chima have only recently come into contact with the Five Empires, and are a decidedly aesthetic culture, fascinated by the fashions of other species.
====Hlaka====
Furry brown creatures with large bat-like wings. The Hlaka are, in the opinions of most other species, massive pussies. This is exemplified by their tendency to flee combat whenever possible, and the absolute terror that open bodies of water inflict on them. They don’t make good slaves or soldiers, so humans generally leave them alone, which suits the Hlaka just fine.
====Hokun====
From a distance the Hokun look like strange but beautiful sculptures of glass. Up close, these sculptures will probably stab you. The insectoid Hokun have a transparent carapace, allowing you to see their organs, and have an ant-like society, with every Hokun being part of a “group-mind”, and there’s even a separate caste of larger, dumber Hokun that the others use as mounts. This species has a very complicated relationship with humanity, eating them in some regions, enslaving them in others, and being enslaved by them in yet more.
====Mihalli====
The titty-lions. The Mihalli are a species of shapeshifters whose default form is a lion headed biped with four breasts. They came to Tékumel disguised as humans, but after the planet got stuck in the pocket dimension they discovered that they were like, really, really good at magic, the best in all of Tékumel. And so they decided to use this newfound power as an excuse to openly rule over humanity. This resulted in a long war between Mihalli and humans that ended in the humans dropping an atomic weapon on the Mihalli capital city. From the perspective of the other sentient species, the Mihalli are all completely insane with incomprehensible goals.
====Nyagga====
Found exclusively in a single lake in northeast Tsolyanu, the Nyagga are an aquatic race who cannot survive on land for more than an hour. Despite their fishy appearance, the Nyagga are warm-blooded and more like Earth’s mammals than its fish. They react violently to anyone trying to penetrate their watery empire. Despite this, they do have a strange trading relationship with the local humans. The Nyagga will leave sculptures and valuable corals on the beach, and humans will take these and leave things they think the Nyagga will like. Some say that the Nyagga can interbreed with humans to create a race [[Deep One|Fish-People]] with gills and pallid flesh, but these are probably just rumors.
====Pachi Lei====
Four-armed, four-legged reptile men, the Pachi Lei have a strange six-sense that lets them better detect traps, hidden doors, and the like. They are psychologically closer to humans than most species, and as such are better at integrating into human society compared to other species, save perhaps the Pe Choi.
====Shen====
The Shen are beaked bipedal lizardmen with a tail they can use as a mace. They are commonly found in human armies due to their skill as warriors and excellent discipline. Despite this, the Shen have shown no desire to expand their nations, an when at home focus mainly on defense. For some reason they really hate the Ahoggya, and will often attack them unprovoked when in the wilderness, though they are polite enough not to do so in human cities. They are originally from the star Antares.
====Urunen====
Vaguely Orcish bipeds who primarily live in polar regions. Due to their isolation, they have only just recently established contact with the Five Empires.
===The Enemy Races===
Those species who believe the only good human is a dead one.

====Hluss====
One of the original inhabitants of Tékumel, the Hluss look like strange segmented scorpions, complete with stinger. This stinger can paralyze an opponent, at which point a female Hluss will inevitably lay her eggs in her frozen captive. The Hluss are predominantly found at sea in boats made from their ‘Secretions’. They are allied to the Ssu, and enemies of just about almost everyone else.
====Hlutrgu====
Strange little goblin-y frog men, the Hlutrgu are humanity’s greatest foe. Every year, a swarm of these tiny maniacs emerges from the swamps and goes on raids into human territory, where they proceed to slaughter anyone they can get a hold of for seemingly no reason beyond the sheer fun of it.
====Shunned Ones====
Strange skeletal-looking humanoids, the Shunned Ones are an enigmatic race who cover themselves in voluminous robes, further adding to their mystique, and smell like an open sewer in summertime. They rarely leave their underground cities, which are hermetically sealed and filled with a gas that is toxic to humans, but when they do go outside it is usually to collect magical items, which they hoard obsessively for unknown, likely nefarious purposes.
====Ssu====
One of the original inhabitants of Tékumel, the Ssu never really got over the whole ‘being genocided into near oblivion and being made into captives on their own planet thing.’ They are friendly to the Hluss, but are sworn enemies of just about everyone else, and have made it their sole goal to exterminate the outsiders (except the Hlaka, who they are okay with for some reason), especially the humans. They are often found in ancient ruins searching for weapons to give them an edge over their opponents. The Ssu have two-arms and four-legs, as you have probably guessed if you’ve made it this far, and come in two distinct subspecies, the Grey Ssu, and the Black Ssu. They look about the same, but the Black Ssu are bigger, smarter, and deadlier.
== The Many Editions of Tékumel==
With a history almost as long as the basic concept of RPGs in general, it is no surprise that Tékumel had a long and erratic publishing history with multiple, sometimes wildly different, editions.
====Empire of the Petal Throne: Manuscript Edition====
The very first edition of Tékumel, the ''Manuscript Edition'', as it has come to be known, only had fifty copies made. It started off when a friend at Barker’s university’s wargaming club, of which he was an advisor, showed him this weird new thing called [[Dungeons & Dragons|”Dungeons & Dragons”]]. Barker liked it, and so he decided to adapt it to better fit his own world of Tékumel, which he had already been developing for decades at this point.
====Empire of the Petal Throne: The World of Tékumel====
Not long after, [[Gary Gygax]] and Dave Arneson got their hands on the manuscript edition, and they liked it so much that they had [[TSR Games]] publish it as a standalone game using modified [[Dungeons & Dragons]] rules.
====Swords & Glory====
Published in 1983 by ''Gamescience'', who you may remember as the people behind the “beloved” d100 golfball. Swords & Glory came in two volumes: The ‘Source Book’, a massive and unmitigated 140-page lore dump and pronunciation guide; and the ‘Player’s Handbook’ that contains the actual rules. Used a d20 exclusively. It should be noted that some poor sod had to mark each and every diacritics by pen prior to publication. It is normal for Tékumel books to have diacritics all over the place, but even the Koran was saying: ''"Dial it back a bit."''
====Gardásiyal: Deeds of Glory====
A percentile-based game from ''Theatre of the Mind'', published in 1994. It used both d10s and d20s, and had four separate books dedicated to character creation, letting you play a [[Fighting Fantasy]] type game to develop your PC. For some reason this line of books spelled role-playing as “Rôle-Playing”, because Tékumel need more diacritics in it.
====Tékumel: Empire of the Petal Throne====
Not to be confused with the other game, ''Empire of the Petal Throne 2: Electric Boogaloo'', Tékumel: Empire of the Petal Throne was published in 2005 by [[Guardians of Order]], and used the ‘Tri-Stat dX’ system first introduced in the company’s [[Big Eyes, Small Mouth]] system. This is one of the more popular editions, owing to the ease of play and indexing of setting information, and high quality of art.

====Béthorm: The Plane of Tékumel====
The latest Tékumel game, Béthorm was written by former D&D artist Jeff Dee and published in 2015 by ''Uni Games''. This is the first Tékumel product to be made without M.A.R. Barker’s direct involvement, as he had died three years prior. Despite this, Barker is still listed as co-writer. The game uses the “Pocket Universe” system, which only uses d10s and is primarily based around percentile dice. Like the prior edition, Béthorm is generally user-friendly.

The key feature with this edition is the way jumping between Béthorm (Pocket Universe) is used to deal with the inevitability of discontinuities that form as new players learn more and more about the setting. That is, if a minor detail like Plebeian Aridani being normal in past adventures (the possess of becoming Aridani is too expensive for the poorer clans), but when the GM corrects this, references to this can be be dismissed as "Oh, that was from another reality." Slipping into near-normal parallel realities happen enough in the history of Tékumel, people do not question when things suddenly become abnormal and just go with the flow.

== Gallery ==
<gallery>
Image:Avanthe WP.jpg|An old-ass pic from the earliest edition.
Image:Bara color.jpg|Typical outfit of a Tsolyani woman.
Image:Mrissa print color 2.jpg|An “aridani” solider ready for battle.
Image:Talzhemir Mrr.jpg|The character of [[furry]]-artist Talzhemir.

Image:Tekumel armor types.jpg|[[Fantasy_Armor|Fantasy armor]] at its best.

</gallery>
[[Category:Roleplaying]][[Category:NSFW]]

Wilderlands of High Fantasy

2020-05-20T11:51:47Z

2607:FEA8:E9A0:592D:7151:236B:623C:2C8C:

{{Oldschool}}
'''Wilderlands of High Fantasy''' is pretty much the first third-party [[Dungeons & Dragons Campaign Settings|Dungeons and Dragons campaign setting]] to ever come out, published in the late seventies by the venerable and back then extremely popular Judges Guild, the [[Old School Roleplaying|first]] of the [[Pathfinder|many]] [[Eberron|examples]] when someone else managed their work better than they themselves did. It began as a single-city setting called ''City-State of the Invincible Overlord'', but quickly grew out of those humble origins and ultimately swelled into a still fairly small land roughly the size of the Mediterranean (a deliberate design choice: this was noted as the amount of land an average [[Adventurer]] was ever likely to see).

Judges Guild thrived for some half a decade, producing awesome and popular settings and campaign modules, before its old-school attitudes and unwillingness to move on with [[Summer|the times]] led it going the way of the dodo. In 2002 it was picked up by Necromancer Games, publishing most of its content anew with updated 3e rules.

As of late, support for Judges Guild in the [[Grognard|old-school D&D community]] dried up faster than snatch in a convent after learning that the son of the setting's late creator (and current copyright-holder) Bob Bledsaw II, had been drinking heavily from the [[/pol/]] Kool-Aid — then using official Judges Guild social media to make a long-winded non-apology tour, only to expound his warped beliefs. Frog God Games, Necromancer Games and [[Dungeon_Crawl_Classics|Goodman Games]], who were publishing content for Judges Guild, quickly broke ties with the company. While overall opinion of the setting and the original Bob Bledsaw I — who is nothing like his son (and yes, the name thing is confusing with three generations of Roberts) — remains high with old-school players, with dedicated fans still playing it despite the controversy, the fans by and large have no stomach for what Bob Bledsaw II represents and are rightfully pissed at him for tarnishing Bob I's legacy.

==Setting==
[[File:Wilderlands world map.jpg|350px|right|thumb|The map of the Wilderlands.]]
This lands are dangerous and untamed, full of monsters and beasts and barbarians and evil humanoids, ruins of ancient kingdoms and empires and even evidence of interstellar visitations, with city-states ruled by cruel overlords scattered all around that clusterfuck and mostly keeping to themselves. Precisely one of those city-states, Viridistan, could claim itself to be anything even resembling a true nation, and even that's like the size of Belgium at most. A land in decline and facing a rebirth, it is a time of great change, when all creation stands in the crossroads - and it is here where the [[Player Character]]s are dropped, to leave their own mark in the history of the setting or even lead it towards the direction they would want.

In short, it was the original [[Nentir Vale|Points of Light]], and still one of the best to ever have come bearing that description.

You think [[Greyhawk]] peasants had it bad? Well, in Wilderlands your average peasants got a good twenty years of life expectancy, most likely ending your solitary and nasty life in a brutish way by the axe of a marauding beastman, or the dagger of a thief after your purse, or the plague. Just about everyone in charge is evil, law enforcement is too weak and incompetent to protect you (save for the secret police which everyone has and which is ''too'' competent), just about all roads are in shit conditions so you can't visit your cousin ten miles away without provoking bandits and monsters, and [[slavery]] is both legal and widespread so even your freedom wasn't a given. But if you were ''really'' smart or lucky, you could live to the ripe old age of thirty-five or so!

And yet if you've got the strength and the conviction for it, and a [[Adventurer|few friends to have your back]], you could march right up there and topple that asshole overlord and see if you could do better. Rebuild the whole damn ancient empires while you're there. It is the [[Noblebright|time of great change]], after all, and there are no [[Forgotten Realms|secret societies]] or other bullshit railroading you and telling you what to do.

It is also gonzo as hell, having been born in the time when scifi and fantasy were not clearly distinct, and gleefully embracing both into a weirdass pulp land where both [[Conan the Barbarian|Conan]] and Flash Gordon would be right at home. The land is littered with crashed spaceships - as mentioned up above - thanks to a prehistoric space war between two different alien coalitions, and amongst the standard fantasy races you've got folks like cavemen (riding mammoths!), amazons (with captive women doing all the menial work and men kept for [[Rape|reproduction]]), [[Furry|lion, cat,]] [[Awesome|hawk,]] and even [[What|chicken]] people, and it's not at all uncommon to bump into a perfectly normal human except with his skin [[Mutant|blue, red, green,]] or even entirely transparent.

The whole setting is split into eighteen different areas, each of which was in turn cut into five-mile hexes. This smallest map unit was then where most of the detailed setting information could be found: one hex could contain a city, while another had a lair of trolls. Some of the towns and cities were then detailed further, sometimes to the point of [[Awesome|just about every single building of every single street]]. From here, it'll be the DM's (or "judge's", as he was known) job to dump his players somewhere in there and watch as they pick a direction at random and begin a path of destruction through it all.

The eighteen areas, in the original publishing order, were as follows:

===City State of the Invincible Overlord===
The centerpoint of the entire setting - be it geographically, politically, historically, or spiritually - the titular '''City State of the Invincible Overlord''' was built by dwarves on top of an ancient ruined city... which itself was on top of [[Hive|another, even older ruin]]. Nowadays it is mostly ruled by humans, with the humble [[Emperor|Invincible Overlord]] himself in charge of everything, but the dwarves of the northern '''Thunderstone''' are still some of its most important allies. A bit further north there is the coastal city of '''Warwik''', founded a long time ago by some nobility that had the bright idea to [[Horus Heresy|try and usurp the City State rule]], and who were subsequently banished and are still plotting revenge.

'''Modron''' is another iconic city found here, on the shores of Roglaroon River and worshipping the river goddess of the same name. To the east there is the tiny village of '''Tegel''', entirely of no consequences if it weren't for the setting of one of the most well-loved Judges Guild adventures, ''Tegel Manor''. And in the southeastern corner you've got '''Ossary''', a fine example of what happens when you give a bunch of chaotic murderous vikings their own city: its ruling chiefs are basically in the state of total war, fighting in the streets.

[[Heresy|'''Witches' Court Marshes''']] is exactly what it says on the tin. Once every year, some four thousand witches gather here to summon demons and plot wicked things.

===The Barbarian Altanis===
Here's pretty much the geographical central point of Wilderlands, which is probably why it makes sense there's also way more ruins here than just about anywhere else, as well as little bits of nowadays completely nonfunctional roads. This is where once stood the ancient '''Dragon Empire''', ruled by some half-dragon folks called orichalcans, who unfortunately got their shit kicked in by their former slaves - the red-skinned altanians who now live here. The orichalcans got [[Exterminatus|basically genocided]], and there are now very few of them running around and nobody likes them.

There's a mountain range going through the middle, and it splits the area into several different weather zones: you've got hot, and slightly less hot. The nomadic altanian folks run around this place, but a few of them threw their lot in with the Invincible Overlord and settled down, and are known as the '''Traitor Barons'''. There are also elves here, in their ancient and venerable cities of '''Actun''' and others, as well as some human clans of '''Antil''' who really don't like women.

===Valley of the Ancients===
Land of the dragon graveyards, the ancient aliens, and the real weird gonzo shit. There are no great big city-states here because there aren't enough people mad enough to want to live in this hellhole - the only place to get even close, '''Tarsh''', is a pretty piddly place when compared to Viridistan or something. The titular '''Valley of the Ancients''' is the site of an ancient dragon empire, now littered with draconic ruins, with the grand price - the palace of the dragon emperor - never having been found.

The vast '''Glow Worm Steppes''' are named after the [[Xenos|gigantic glowing worms]] everyone knows are hunting here - but that're actually torch-wielding caveman hunting parties. Tricksy cavemen. The Dar Undine Desert is the hottest and driest land anywhere in the Wilderlands, even more so than the western great desert, but the edges get monsoon rains and windstorms every once in a while because of [[Gork|two gods]] [[Mork|in a constant struggle]] [[Awesome|over supremacy of these lands]]. Like, how cool is that?

===Tarantis===
The pirate land, nominally governed by the city-state of '''Tarantis''', and the Tarantine Merchant's Association therein. They do a pretty lousy job with that. Just about all the city states and provinces around are ruled by sultans also in Tarantis's pocket. The ruined capital of the ancient kingdom '''Kelnore''' lies basically in the opposite end of the bay where Tarantis is put on: the place basically blew up and burned down the last time it was sacked, and it's said demons and shit still inhabit it. Much of the land is a hot and dry desert, inhabited by bandits and nomads and bandit-nomads.

This is where you go if you want to set off to the far-away (as in, outside the maps entirely) kingdom of '''Karak'''.

===Valon===
The area directly north of City State, '''Valon''' is named after the house of avalonian ice wizards, the second capital of magic in the setting, and masters of the weather and the sea. Most of the map is filled up by pirate-infested sea, or mountains full of lost dwarven cities, the greatest of them probably the fabled '''Krazandol'''. Two rival wizards are trying to make two separate [[golem]] armies: one has [[Fail|almost completed an]] iron golem, the other cut some corners and is making regular flesh golems with some armor slapped on. Once, '''Sotur''' was the northernmost capital of the Orichalan Dragon Empire. Nowadays it is not only filled with demons and shit, but anyone even stepping inside risks catching [[Nurgle|a rotting plague]].

Overall, aside from Valon itself, the region is generally considered a [[Death World|pretty nasty place to live]].

===Viridistan===
Also known as the City State of the Immortal Emperor, along with many other equally-humble names, '''Viridistan''' is ruled by Green Emperor - and that ain't no empty title, because the guy and his wife are [[Star Trek|literally green]], said to be the last of the ancient and powerful race of True Viridians. The rest of the kingdom's inhabitants tend towards lighter shades. They are trying to create a true new kingdom to the area, but it hasn't gone on for very long yet so the land is still as untamed as anywhere else. The depths of the Trident Gulf also hold the mermaid kingdom of '''Sae Laamer'''.

There are great many [[Tanar'ri|demons]] running around, likely because an earlier emperor made some unknown deal with Demogorgon in order to get him around to ''personally beat the shit out of some invading City-State chucklefucks''. Not wanting to be outdone (although it really is hard to top that), the current emperor has a bunch of disguised succubi and mariliths in high positions. He's been going [[Call of Cthulhu|insane]] in the later years, which may or may not be related.

===Desert Lands===
The much-travelled crossroads between the lands of north and south, this area has something extremely useful and surprisingly rare in this setting: actual fucking roads. You don't need to traverse the wilderness and get lost and shit, although there are still bandits and monsters preying on it so don't get too excited. It is also the site of the '''Holy cities''', five desert cities on the entrance to bigass underground caves full of mushrooms and lakes, sacred to the faith of Mycr. Unfortunately, the current asshole [[Emperor]] of Viridistan really doesn't like Mycr, and has spent his 150-year rule persecuting them. Even now his forces have occupied several of the cities.

Despite being at the crossroads, there's no city-state here. Even the Holy Cities, the mecca for a whole religion, are pretty tiny and slummy. Blame Viridistan.

===Sea of Five Winds===

The vast empty of the '''Sea of Five Winds''' is the true buffer between the ''Demon Lands'' of the '''Ament Tundra''' to the South, and the '''Desert Lands''' of the ''Five Holy Cities'' to the North, Still packs of Demons and Demonspawn can be found roaming in the wilderness here, especially in the dank dark forests of the coastal lowlands, and in the canyons, caves, caverns, mines, and lost pyramidal tombs riddling the periphery of the enormous plateau located in the West. True to it's name, more than two-thirds of this area is open ocean or high seas notable for pirates, and with highly unpredictable weather.

Rich with game and wildlife the forested coastal lowlands along Western shore and with the many fresh and clear streams and rivers that cut inland toward the great escarpment, the coast of the Sea of Five Winds was once, long ago the center of all of the ancient ''Sea Kingdoms'' of the ''Wilderlands''. Lost cities, treasures, and shipwrecks are scattered all along the coast, just waiting for brave adventurers who are willing to test their mettle.

Some notable towns here include '''Tlan''', a seaport and trading village located about halfway down the coast, just keep an eye out for the thieves guild here! '''Elveskeep''', located high up on the Escarpment overlooking ''Brinth Falls'', a great waterfall that tumbles down more than 900 feet off the escarpment into the most beautiful and azure set of cascading pools. '''Elveskeep''' is of course, known for the Halflings that make up 99% of the entire population, and they are famous throughout the Wilderlands for their rich pungent and potent pipeweed. Where the Elves do live here, is high up along the walls of ''Vastem Canyon'' along the escarpment in a town named '''Serpeant-Tail''', named after the canyon that the town was built in, of course. High up on the escarpment they have dug into the rocky walls of the canyon, and the entire town is suspended on the side of the cliff overlooking the coastal lowlands with miles of tunnels that lead deep into the plateau to many a mine, forgotten dungeons, and wet dark caverns.

===Elphand Lands===
If you're looking for all that Lost World stuff, this is where you'll want to go, right to the northwestern edge of the maps. They've got cavemen, dinosaurs, mammoths, saber-toothed tigers, amazons (sometimes riding those saber-toothed tigers), the biggest and most unexplored forest in the entire setting, mountains full of giants and hawkmen, and three moronic tribal leader brothers trying to assemble a mighty magical staff left behind by their much wiser father - obviously by killing off the other two brothers or stealing their staff piece.

Not much civilization, though: there's a few towns and fortresses that're lucky if they're past iron age, plus the ancient trading city of '''Damkina''' in the middle of a lake. It has been standing there unconquered for thousands of years because it doesn't even bother to defend itself: anyone's that got stuff to trade can come in and trade that shit.

===Lenap===

Located in the ''Fantastic Wilderlands Beyonde''. One of the most diverse of the Wilderlands campaign settings, with a wide mix of alignments and races, featuring scattered hamlets and towns of Men, Dwarves, Elves, Half-Elves, Ogres, and Goblins sandwiched between the ''Desert Lands'' and ''Five Holy Cities'', with all the nomadic Dervish tribes located in the dry lands to the Northwest, and the pirate infested ''Sea of Five Winds'' to the South, ''Lenap'' is a backwater of petty lords and kingdoms just waiting for the one true conqueror to roll through.

Along the coast one will find find schools of Mermen and Mermaids, sunken cities, and in the vast wilderness, the burial mounds of long forgotten ancient steppe kings. Dragons roam freely here, and there are a host of islands off the coast, where marooned pirates, cannibals, primitive cave people, and dark magic await any that are brave enough to venture near.

One of the more interesting towns happens to be '''Valeyard''', located off the coast fairly close to the island of '''Lenap'''. Both towns are pirate havens with large slave trading markets, with merchants, traders, and pirates all eager to unload their ill-gotten gains. Bring Rum!

===Ghinor===
The namesake of this area, the Ghinoran Successor States, split up from the [[Roman Empire|ancient Kelnore]] when that shit started to [[Age of Strife|fall apart in its decadence]], and continued on living and occasionally even thriving for a long time after their parent kingdom went down, though they never did do as well as London or Holy Roman Empire in the real world did. Here, for instance, the major city-state of '''Chim''' got long since abandoned and replaced by a bunch of dwarves.

Jungles full of monsters and cannibals surround the few little towns and villages here, and the seas are little better: they're windy and stormy and full of strange and unpredictable currents, with hundreds of ''really'' weird islands scattered alongside, their magical shit ranging from colors, agelessness, emotion-powered winds, gravity revelsals, and lots and lots of undead, just to name a few. Along the eastern coast, colonies of ''Skandik'' sea raiders.

===Isles of the Blest===
Once the southern half of the great and mighty Dragon Empire, of the people of Oricha, nowadays just about nobody lives around here, save a few coastal villages. Plenty of sea traffic, though: all the ships to or from Viridistan pass through this way, circling across the entire damn peninsula so that people wouldn't need to brave the wilderlands on foot. There are even a bunch of portals scattered in the sea that can take a traveler right off to Tarantis. The Lake of the Gods was one of the few modern pockets left after the [[Age of Strife|Uttermost War]], and is said to contain a portal to the elemental plane of water.

The elves living here are surprisingly kickass: centered in the town of '''Ludgates''', they've gone around and starting wars and killing and enslaving humans and shit.

===Ebony Coast===
Probably named after all that oil found in here, Ebony Coast is one of the nicest and the most peaceful lands in the entire setting - which isn't saying a whole lot, but still. There are plenty of farms and countryside manors and the roads are actually patrolled! It's a crossroad with a whole lot of folks from all across the land, even the eastern Karak maintaining some outposts, and the Blackwell Isle to the west is a popular visiting place for tourists, mercenaries, and adventurers.

'''Revelshire''' is the biggest and most prosperous city in the region, a tree-city built by elves to protect a treant. Then a bunch of human traders began to show up and inhabit the place and now humans and half-elves greatly outnumber the natives. Should've [[Exterminatus|gassed the bastards]] when they first started to show up.

===Ament Tundra===
How can it be a tundra when it's this far south?

That's a really good question, and [[Alpha Legion|nobody fucking knows]]. Probably got something to do with the [[Eye of Terror|Demon Empires]] to the south. Either way, there it is: the titular tundra is a possibly magical plain of inhospitable cold, around which few people live that aren't altanian nomads or, strangely, halflings. To the west there are vast forests and gigantic mountain ranges, that keep the [[Awesome|Demi-Giants]] well away.

===Isles of the Dawn===
Many old legends say that this was from where Apollo rose to the sky each morning, with the sun - hence the name. There are many shrines for him in this peaceful fisherman's paradise, along with whalers, traders from Karak (which is right to the east), fortresses maintained by the kingdom of Rallu, more than one sunken wizard's tower, sex-starved orcs trapped on an island due to a magical mishap, and nothing to eat but cabbage. The closest thing to a central authority is the port-market village of '''Dragonscar'''.

===Southern Reaches===

Located in the extreme Southeast portion of the Wilderlands the oceans and coasts of the '''Southern Reaches''' see frequent ''Skandik'' sea raider incursions. There are lots of Dwarves and Men, and some Orcs, and a scattering of Elves and Half-Elves. Among the usual scattering of shipwrecks and submerged palaces, there are abundant crumbling castles, wasted ruins, and abandoned strongholds that were once the homes of Men and Dwarves. While the mostly neutral and good population have defeated and driven off the Demon Hordes, occasionally small groups, and individual demons can be found hunting in the wilderness. Darkness and horror await adventurers that delve too deep into the ancient earth here so close to the ''Demon Wastes''. Dire Wolves, Werewolves, and Bears can be commonly found above ground, roaming the wild lands.

A few of the notable villages here include '''Silverhall''', a Dwarven mining town that features the mother lode of, ...you guessed it, Silver Mines! '''Dragonsaddle''', another Dwarven village which overlooks ''Orc Bait Pass'' high up on the escarpment above the coastal lowlands and protecting Silverhall. '''Khallordain''', a great subterranean ''Dwarven Hall'', noted for it's beautiful cavern waterfalls, and rich iron deposits overlooking the ''Pass of the Sighing Stones'' and protecting the Northern approach to the Dwarven Highlands. '''Fairwatch''', the town of Men on the plains, loaded with claims, prospectors, and deep gold mines. There is also '''Sacred Rock''', an Elven community of shipwrights located near ''Silvership Castle'' along the ''Goldcham Estuary'' on the coast of ''the Sea of Five Winds''. Even the Skandiks stay away from the fanatical elves here who will ''Fock them right up!'' if they dare to raid anywhere near here. Yes, the elven ships are expensive, however they are of the very best quality, and yes, you can get a giant swan ship, if'n you like.

===Silver Skein Isles===
A land of constant war, both the [[Heresy|holy]] and the naval sort. The former is mainly carried out covertly, by assassinations and blackmail and such: the titular isles have gone [[Rage|a bit upset]] ever since a priest of Poseidon called Kanamant decided to purge his home island of all nonbelievers and, by means of a pretty vague and shaky claim, take over the entire Silver Skein as well. This all pretty quickly collapsed the normally relatively peaceful and friendly isles into one gigantic [[Age of Apostasy|religious clusterfuck]].

One of the islands has a gateway to the [[Hades|underworld]]. What fun.

Meanwhile, this region is the site where both of the two largest, most powerful, and most influential cities anywhere south of Tarantis - and mind you, that's a lot of south - are located, with nothing but a a bit of sea between them. Naturally, they're at constant war. '''Rallu''' is a land of sailors and pirates, its location secret to everybody until recently, when one of its rulers had the bright idea to reveal this secret to the world. Why he did that, no one would ever know - it could be he had a perfectly good reason for it and was about to lead the city into a new golden age, but then he got assassinated so none of that ever really worked out for him. To the south, there's the great magical city of '''Tula''', a land of sorcerers and demons and monsters, all walking down the street perfectly nicely like it wasn't a big deal at all. To the northern lands, this city is a legend. Unfortunately, while its magic is unsurpassed, its naval force is [[Rape|just a bit weaker]] than that of a goddamn pirate city, which is why it's been slowly but steadily losing the war.

===Ghinor Highlands===

The '''Ghinor Highlands''' is about as close as one can get to being in the ''Demon Wastes'', without actually being in the ''Demon Empire.'' Your average adventurer, of course, won't be able to tell the difference. Also, this is almost exactly opposite of the lands to the west. Just to the West, ''the Ament Tundra is where hell froze over''. Here in the ''Ghinor Highlands you are just two steps from Hell'', Really, there are steaming broken mountains,and active spewing volcanoes, and very hot, hot pits. Most of the Mountains have the word ''Doom'' in their name here. Even the lakes share that feature often having the word ''Doom'' somewhere in their name, or ''Shadow''. You'll find the ''Legions Gate'' here, and ''Bloodseep'', and along the northern borders, the hot and very steamy SCREAMING HYENA JUNGLE. There is a plentitude of fetid and dismal marshes, some springing right of of the great Southern escarpment, leeching oozes, and all manner of foul creatures, which in the darkness of the warm nights here, swarm the land.

The Dwarves like it here though, this is where the forges are hot, and there are lots of gems. They also enjoy hunting, and killing demons, just for sport. Of course, you'll find Gryphons and Hellhounds here, and all manner of Dragons, especially fiery Dragons. There are many villages and hamlets here where the men are bound into slavery, and servitude, and committing evil acts. There are also lots of elves and mages and clerics, committed to pushing back the Demons wherever they are found. This a a land of perpetual wars of darkness against light, and light against darkness. No rest for the wicked, or the good.

Some of the more notable towns in the region include '''Bramly''', an Elven town noted for it's flaming wines, and '''Elmwood''', a refuge in a quiet forest, a town of Halflings. In the town of '''Ten Elms''', you'll find ten score elves, led by a Ranger, fighting evil. '''Dristhane''' and '''Mist''' are two Dwarven fortresses, on the lake shore just a days ride from the demon spawn of the ''OVERDOOM'' mountains. Guarding the plains approach to ''Mist'' and ''Dristhane'' is '''Nurenthane''', ''the city of Marble and Men''.

===Other Lands===
Seeing how the setting's pretty tiny it occasionally makes references to places out of the map. Three of these are of some real importance. The kingdom of '''Karak''' to the east is old, far more ancient than even the oldest true kingdom in Wilderlands (Kelnore), and basically fantasy India with bits of China and Mongols mixed in. It has powerful horse armies and navy, and sees wilderlands as a bunch of barbarians to be exiled into. '''The Great Glacier''', north of Valon, is one big chunk of ice age, incredibly expansive and basically impossible to cross, though there are stories of other kingdoms beyond it. The ice wizards of Valon have hidden schools here. Finally, far to the south there's the '''Demon Empires''', a mighty empire split in two and constantly raiding the northern lands - though far less in the last hundred years, whatever the reason. There are demons and fire elementals here, and the whole thing started as a breeding project by fucking [[Xenos|aliens]].

==History==

There were aliens.

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