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Kobold

2015-11-04T13:23:00Z

2804:7F7:A088:11E1:0:0:0:4:

[[File:Kobold commando.jpg|300px|thumb|right|a kobold commando.]]

'''Kobolds''' are a race of creatures from the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] series of games. They've undergone a great deal of remodelling over the editions, going from big-eyed [[goblin]]-kin in OD&D to horned ratmen/dogmen in AD&D to their final iteration in 3rd edition, where they became puny reptilian creatures that were possibly related in some way to [[Dragon|dragons]]. In either case, they are small, weak creatures, generally serving in most campaigns as low-level cannon fodder for the adventurers to mow down, much like [[goblins]] and [[orcs]].

Despite being physically weak, however, kobolds are also described as capable trapsmiths, and are known for creating traps to protect their lairs and dungeons (a habit that is usually ignored or underplayed by most [[DM]]s). This habit - combined with a penchant for lethal tunnel design and group tactics - were famously used in the tale of [[Tucker's Kobolds]] to illustrate that kobolds - and, indeed, any intelligent creature - can remain dangerous to high-level adventurers despite being statistically inferior in just about every way.

There is a market in [[Dungeons_%26_Dragons_3rd_Edition | 3.5]] for kobold [[PC]]s, since their draconian/reptilian ancestry make them one of the only +0 Level Adjustment races capable of qualifying for much of the additional material in [[splatbook]]s like the Draconomicon and the Book of Dragons. [[Pun-Pun]], for example, is a rather famous [[CharOp]] design that allows a kobold wizard to attain theoretically unlimited abilities and attributes, using material from splatbooks and the [[Forgotten Realms]] [[Dungeons_%26_Dragons_Campaign_Settings | campaign setting]].

While [[4e]] technically does allow for 0LA characters using the "racial features" rules in the Monster Manual, they effectively play like reptilian halflings, which get better bonuses. The lack of splat and reptilian-based bonuses makes them less appealing than 3e, but their inherent trap skills make them excellent [[Bloody Path|rogues]]. That being said, Wizards has at least learned from their mistakes and kept these useless little pieces of looney bait squarely inaccessible via player-oriented materi- OH SWEET AZATHOTH THEY'RE COMING OUT IN THE NEXT PLAYER'S OPTION BOOK!

It is worth noting that if played with the intention of being dangerous, kobolds are far and away the hardest throwaway monsters to fight. It could be likened to a sort of sick, hardcore version of Home Alone, with the kobolds taking the part of a severely deranged and sadistic Kevin McCallister and the PCs taking the part of hopelessly underprepared thugs walking into a situation they cannot have possibly foreseen. If treated like cannon fodder, they are the absolute hands-down easiest things in any edition to kill, including [[cat|housecats]] and electric iguanas.

Kobolds are often used as "weakling" monsters in games, particularly video games based on the pen-and-paper variety. Their actual versatility depends on the system, but like D&D runs the gamut of [[Dawww|harmless]] to [[Dwarf Fortress#Cats|devastating in numbers]] to [[Anal circumference|downright impossible]]. While modern D&D paints them as reptilian creatures, some other games and media portray them as either wolf-like (such as [[Dwarf Fortress]]) or rat-like ([[Warcraft]]).

==Real life Kobold==
Those of us who took high school chemistry will remember element 27 on the periodic table is named "cobalt," which sounds similar to kobold. In fact, cobalt ore was named by German miners after the stories of these malevolent underground spirits. The ore is naturally found as sharp shards, bonded with arsenic oxide. The shards are sharp enough to penetrate boots and feet, hurting miners and making them sick just as if they were poisoned caltrop traps left by kobolds.

A "cobalt bomb" is a proposed nuclear weapon designed to poison a large territory with super-radioactive cobalt dust, making the target area uninhabitable for 105 years. The short half-life makes it especially deadly, but possible for your great-grandchildren to recover the empty territory. So watch out for "kobold bombs" on "magic missiles".

==Cutebolds==
{{stub}}
Cutebolds are like Kobolds only incredibly cute.

They are pitiful and childish in everything they do, and are innocent enough to not know how to procreate. All they know is that rubbing their noses gives them a guilty pleasure. They are no less "harmless" when played properly, though. They tend toward the dog-like for extra D'aww.

This interpretation of the Kobold is thought to have been inspired by their depiction in [[Dwarf Fortress]], where they steal your supplies,
but <s>seem to do it in the most endearingly stupid manner possible </s> '''{{Blam|FUCKING PESTS STOLE MY ARTIFACT BATTLEAXE! KILL THEM! THEN TOSS THEM INTO THE CARP PIT!}}'''

Cutebold stats:
: +2 Dex, +2 Cha, -2 Int
: Charm person once per day as a spell like ability
: Low light vision and scent

<gallery>
File:Koboldthief.png
File:Grifli.gif|There's no word in kobold for "[[just as planned|keikaku]]"
File:Koboldhouse.gif|[[Kobold Camp]] now with 3D rendering
File:Id give you the moon.gif
File:Loveakobold.gif|Love can bloom under a battlefield
File:Cutebold adventure party.gif|Aw, they think they're people!
Image:Cutebold_fantasies.jpg|Someone's got a widdle crush!
</gallery>

==See also==
* [[Kobold Camp]]
* [[Unified Setting/Kobolds]]

*[[Kobolds Ate My Baby!]]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80BWVkKd_Cw The cutebold theme]

{{D&D4e-Races}}
[[Category:Races]]
[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons Races]]

Satyr

2015-11-04T12:46:50Z

2804:7F7:A088:11E1:0:0:0:4:

'''Overview'''

A creature from Greek mythology, like the [[Centaur]] and [[Minotaur]]. Satyrs appear as bearded human men with the horns, legs and tails of goats. Their obscure cousins are Fauns (gentler, younger versions of them who aren't such lushes) and Ipotanes (men with the ears, legs and tails of horses). They're associated with the demigods Pan (the son of Hermes and a nameless nymph) and Silenus (an minor demigod who attends Dionysius, god of wine and merriment). Incurable drunkards, hornballs and party-animals, satyrs generally live to get drunk, party, and shag any woman they can get into bed. They're notorious for chasing after nymphs, who typically prefer the gentler, less insatiable, more refined and less stinking-drunkard fauns instead.

'''[[Dungeons & Dragons]]'''

Has appeared as almost a footnote in most editions of D&D. Typically associated with nymphs to the point of being the "male equivalent"; using their Charm-inducing panpipes to bewitch minions and seduce women, and breeding with nymphs to father more of both races.

You can play one in 3.5, though that Level Adjustment is a bitch.

Got promoted to a full playable race in 4e, via their ''Heroes of the Feywild'' sourcebook, which also gave players the side-note that if you want to rework the species into not being an all-male one in your game, go right ahead.

[[Pathfinder]] has both Satyrs and Fauns as enemies in their assorted bestiaries, with fauns being the more civilized breed (for a rather lenient definition of "civilized").

'''[[Monstergirls]]'''

As one of the more overwhelmingly masculine races in mythology, monstergirl depictions are surprisingly rare. They are typically avid party-girls and lusty booze-hounds, usually extremely busty, and by definition easy to screw. User beware, however; it's far from unheard of for monstergirl versions of satyrs to also be [[dickgirl]]s.

[[Category:Monsters]]
{{D&D4e-Races}}
[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons Races]]

Satyr

2015-11-04T12:46:29Z

2804:7F7:A088:11E1:0:0:0:4:

'''Overview'''

A creature from Greek mythology, like the [[Centaur]] and [[Minotaur]]. Satyrs appear as bearded human men with the horns, legs and tails of goats. Their obscure cousins are Fauns (gentler, younger versions of them who aren't such lushes) and Ipotanes (men with the ears, legs and tails of horses). They're associated with the demigods Pan (the son of Hermes and a nameless nymph) and Silenus (an minor demigod who attends Dionysius, god of wine and merriment). Incurable drunkards, hornballs and party-animals, satyrs generally live to get drunk, party, and shag any woman they can get into bed. They're notorious for chasing after [[nymph]]s, who typically prefer the gentler, less insatiable, more refined and less stinking-drunkard fauns instead.

'''[[Dungeons & Dragons]]'''

Has appeared as almost a footnote in most editions of D&D. Typically associated with nymphs to the point of being the "male equivalent"; using their Charm-inducing panpipes to bewitch minions and seduce women, and breeding with nymphs to father more of both races.

You can play one in 3.5, though that Level Adjustment is a bitch.

Got promoted to a full playable race in 4e, via their ''Heroes of the Feywild'' sourcebook, which also gave players the side-note that if you want to rework the species into not being an all-male one in your game, go right ahead.

[[Pathfinder]] has both Satyrs and Fauns as enemies in their assorted bestiaries, with fauns being the more civilized breed (for a rather lenient definition of "civilized").

'''[[Monstergirls]]'''

As one of the more overwhelmingly masculine races in mythology, monstergirl depictions are surprisingly rare. They are typically avid party-girls and lusty booze-hounds, usually extremely busty, and by definition easy to screw. User beware, however; it's far from unheard of for monstergirl versions of satyrs to also be [[dickgirl]]s.

[[Category:Monsters]]
{{D&D4e-Races}}
[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons Races]]