2d4chan - User contributions [en]

Macha

2018-02-28T19:10:08Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* Gallery */

{{Promotions}}
[[Image:Machadow3.jpg|thumb|600px|Go bring up her virginity to her face, I dare you.]]
'''Macha''' is an [[Eldar]] Farseer from [[Dawn of War]] infamous for being a 4000+ year-old virgin. Like [[Taldeer]], she's another daughter of [[Eldrad]] (as far as [[/tg/]] canon is concerned). Usually depicted to be mostly reasonable, outside of relationship matters where she falls into a self pitying, whiny wreck concerning her virginity. Fa/tg/uys masturbate furiously to pictures of her naked (many of which can be seen below). She can be distinguished from other Eldar by her cheek lines and red hair.

Later developments brought about the theory that Macha is destined to be with the [[Emprah]], but due to Eldrad dickery these two will continue being a virgin and comatose corpse-god, respectively. There are also conflicting opinions on whether Macha is actually saving herself for the Emperor and choosing to be a virgin, or if she is simply extremely unlucky and is constantly frustrated as to why she fails to get laid when her body is the hottest piece of ass this grimdark universe has ever seen. For a while, she died, no thanks to [[C.S. Goto]], but she got better (she was only a little dead).

Macha has had anal sex, frequently in fact, but it has always been with a Callidus Assassin masquerading as someone or another. While initially traumatizing for her, Macha has accepted this fact and views the unnamed Callidus as her sort-of girlfriend. Whether this makes Macha bisexual or not (considering that the Callidus always takes male form when they interact) is up for debate. Rumors of her getting laid for real with a mon'keigh fuckbuddy of hers have yet to be confirmed or denied, as the people who try to bring it up keep getting a Singing Spear jammed into their eye sockets. Often drawn by [[Drawfag|Chink]] before he left /tg/ for [[/v/|Skullgirls]].

She'll be returning in [[Dawn of War III]]. Hilariously enough, her unmasked appearance is exactly the same as what /tg/ has always depicted her looking like, right down to the cheek lines and red hair. This has lead to some theories as to this design choice:

#The Designers are total fa/tg/uys and read this wiki and the boards
#The Designers want to appease 40k fans by throwing a little fanservice their way
#The character designer for Macha was a new guy who went looking for character references and didn't realize that all the drawings were just fanon interpretations

The meme about her being a perpetual virgin is rather ironic given that she shares a name with a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macha Celtic goddess] of, among other things, fertility (but it's not like virginity was not a custom in Celtic culture).

==Dawn of War ==
During the events of the original game, Macha leads a warhost of Biel-Tan Eldar on the planet [[Tartarus]]. Their mission was to safeguard an ancient artifact known as the "Maledictum", which contained a powerful greater daemon of Khorne that the Eldar had imprisoned millenia ago. When the Forces of Chaos arrived on Tartarus with the intention of obtaining the artifact, Macha lead her forces to ensure that they would not succeed. Though because of the Eldar's legendary arrogance and seeing themselves as the only ones capable of handling the situation, rather than explaining themselves to the imperials and maybe trying to ally with them, Macha led the warhost against the imperial forces and engaged in a bloody conflict with Captain Gabriel Angelos of the Blood Ravens that ultimately led to the Eldar's defeat and greatly weakening their forces. Since engaging nearly a whole chapter of warriors capable of devastating Craftworlds was somehow a bad idea. Who would've thought? Her mistake is compounded by the common knowledge that the Imperium basically is an anti-Chaos, daemon-slaying warmachine and so is very much far more capable of sealing away the Maledictum or outright destroying the daemon within than even the Eldar have ever been.

Macha was then confronted by Angelos and his Librarian friend Isador near the dig site which held the key to the Maledictum, and pleaded with them to bury the key. However the Chaos Sorcerer Sindri appeared and quickly took the key before teleporting away. Macha then told Angelos that if he wanted more answers, then he should ask Inquistor Toth as she states that he knows more than he lets on. Before she left, she informed Angelos of where the Forces of Chaos were entrenched while also blaming him for weakening the Biel-Tan warhost (conveniently forgetting the conflict between the Eldar and the Blood Ravens was partly her fault if not more (it was entirely her fault as the Imperium is allies with the Eldar far more often than enemies so they wouldn't have just shot at the Eldar thoughtlessly)).

She and the Eldar forces appear again during the final mission where they allied with the Blood Ravens against the Alpha Legion and Sindri, who had ascended into a Daemon Prince. After Sindri got his ugly face smashed thanks to Angelos and his newly acquired daemon-hammer, both the Space Marines and Eldar got a hold of the Maledictum. Macha implored Gabriel to not destroy the stone, but rather than straight out saying that destroying it would release the daemon, she just vaguely said that he knows little of what he is doing before ordering her forces to open fire on the imperials. Gabriel proceeded to destroy the Maledictum, causing the Eldar to flee and Macha cursing him that his action has doomed them all. Stupidly forgetting that she was speaking to a super-daemon killer fully capable of killing whatever was unleashed.

After that, she hasn't been seen since. Until.....

==Dawn of War III==
Macha returns after more than a decade since the first game. She serves under the command of Lord Kyre who seeks to obtain the Spear of Khaine, located on Acheron, the wandering world. She is still tsundere for Gabriel as when she receives orders to kill him for mucking up with Kyre's plans, she refuses. In the end she teams up with Angelos [[wat|and Gorgutz]] to stop the chaotic threat.

==Stories Featuring Macha==
* [[Imber]]
* [[The Ever Virgin]]
* [[Macha's Vacation]]
* [[Chris Orksen]], Macha gets vanned for trying to pedo-sex human male children.
* [[Macha writes a fapfic]] - Macha accidentally frees the Star Child from the Warp.(NSFW)
* [[The Final Saga of Macha the Ever-Virgin: Extra Large Heresy]] - Sometimes miracles really do happen. (Even more NSFW)

==See Also==
* [[Caerys]], another farseer
* [[Gabriel Angelos]], an old crush of Macha's, although he was chem-gelded (which made bedding him out of the question). However, there are rumours that the reason he did not bed her was because he is gay[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRuXt2lIp3U]. Other rumors say that they ''did'' bed one another, but they had to call it off for fear of inquisitorial purging.
* [[Callidus]], Macha's stalker that keeps tricking her into thinking she's getting it on with a guy... EVERYDAY. And she falls for it... EVERY TIME.

==Links==

"W" Artel is now making a Mini: https://www.google.com/search?biw=1680&bih=931&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=Warseer+by+Artel&oq=Warseer+by+Artel&gs_l=psy-ab.3...21943.21943.0.22478.1.1.0.0.0.0.127.127.0j1.1.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0.sHqf0TJ3gPM#imgrc=_&spf=1505318399054

==Gallery==
{{Heresy}}
* NB: As to be expected with /tg/'s rampant hetero-ness, there is way too much fucking fan art here.
<gallery>
Image:Macha NSFW.jpg
Image:Macha_9.png
Image:Macha_5.jpg
Image:Elite_Beat_Eldar_Divas_by_IronShrineMaiden.jpg
Image:Macha_1.png
Image:Macha_2.jpg
Image:Macha_2.png
Image:Interruption by Chink.jpg
Image:Macha_6.jpg
Image:Macha_7.png
Image:Macha_8.png
Image:Macha_10.png
Image:MACHA_IS_MY_FAV_by_eccma417.jpg
Image:MACHA_MACHA_by_eccma417.jpg
Image:Meet_the_Focker_Eldrad_by_IronShrineMaiden.jpg
Image:A_curious_love.gif
Image:Pancawks1.png
Image:MachaBummedOut.png
Image:MachaDiary.jpg
Image:Machataldeerfight.jpg
Image:Macha aid.png
Image:Macha ass.jpg
Image:Macha_Scum.png
Image:1224319230025.png
Image:Macha_Hmm.jpg
Image:Macha_Baw_by_IronShrineMaiden.jpg
Image:1363033022950.jpg
Image:Macha_GRIMDARK.jpg
Image:Macha 1.jpg
Image:ItsMachaTime!.jpg|You better BELIEVE IT.
Image:Heretical Daydreams.jpg| Heresy is in the air!
Image:Macha_11.jpg|She's our favorite Sexy Loser
Image:1228597397940.jpg|Macha encounters the faptau
Image:Ishadamnitmacha.jpg|Macha while writing her fap-fic
Image:Sugar.png| Macha and Callidus Wife sharing a tender moment
Image:Machacalunf.jpg| This would be cute if Macha wasn't +4 STR
Image:MachaVisitsCWCVille.jpg| Macha meets [[Chris-Chan]].
Image:Macha and Gabe.jpg| The man who opened her wraithbone.
Image:Machaplus4.png| Plus Four Str Macha arriving home after a long days work
Image:1386533014791.jpg|Macha has learned to mix sex with violence in her more recent shlickfics. The results are undeniable.
Image:Mon Keigh Fucker.jpg|The irony fairy must be laughing its ass off right now, given some of Macha's more recent antics.
Image:MACHA_X_BIG_E.jpg|This pic has Macha, boobs, whiskey, porno, heresy, a natural twenty, xenos love, the Emperor, a fallen paladin of sorts, chainmail on the armor on the floor, and -4 STR. The Emperor himself knows not what to make of this.
Image:Macha lewd.jpg
Image:Macha cute.png
Image:Glorious HD Macha.jpg|Fucking zap
Image:Macha_doll.jpeg|Spending time with the Emperor
Image:Happymacha by sexual yeti-da1lfvd.jpg|Bewbs
Image:Warhammer_girls_by_hotgum-db17k0n.jpg|Hanging out with Miriael, Lelith and Celestine
Image:Gabriel and macha.PNG|They've hooked back up.
Image:Gabriel x Macha.jpg| Finally, after 13 years.
</gallery>

==Links==

"W" Artel is now making a Mini: https://www.google.com/search?biw=1680&bih=931&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=Warseer+by+Artel&oq=Warseer+by+Artel&gs_l=psy-ab.3...21943.21943.0.22478.1.1.0.0.0.0.127.127.0j1.1.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0.sHqf0TJ3gPM#imgrc=_&spf=1505318399054

{{Eldar-Characters}}

[[Category: Dawn of War]]

Dawn of War II

2018-02-26T12:21:40Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* Resurrection */

[[File:DOW_II.jpg|thumb|right]]
'''Dawn of War II''' is the sequel to [[Dawn of War]] and was released on February 19, 2009. Unlike its predecessor, it has [[Tyranid|Tyranids]]. About fucking time.

It stars Sergeant Avitus, who hates <s>you</s> EVERYTHING, Sergeant Tarkus, who is [[Indrick Boreale|ba]][[Bald Marines|ld]], Spike Spiegel (also known as Wolverine from the X Men), and a bunch of 'mos. And your Force Commander avatar clearly spends more than the sanctioned amount of time maintaining his hair. Actually, every single fucking space marine officer (with the exception of Tarkus, obviously) in this game does so, resulting in a ''HAIR''ESY-ridden gameplay experience. Also features the return of Davian Thule, who tragically lost both his eye and his sexy accent after the fighting on Kronus. Davian Thule can also be called "Davian Cool" in this game.

The game features the Blood Ravens as the only playable campaign faction, and throughout the course of playing they fight Orks, because they’re everywhere, Eldar, who are attempting to slow the Tyranids' progress to their craftworld, and Tyranids. In classic Spess Mahrine style, your tiny band is [[What|more than sufficient to cunt-punch an entire Tyranid hive fleet back out of the Milky Way]] (while 'liberating' war gear from as many other Chapters as possible). Such is your reputation that your initial one and a half squads are expected to turn the tide of an Ork invasion. Only three units and your commander may be taken along in any mission, and eventually two sergeants will need to stay home because there are six in total. There are drop pods available to carry more men, <s>but it is suspected that Wolverine (or Spike Spiegel) encouraged the rule so that he could remain on board and write bad poetry about the futility of life.</s> Anyone who doesn't take Cyrus along for every mission is [[Indrick Boreale|BALD AND FEWLISH.]]

Most of the ridiculous dialogue that started “[[METAL BOXES]]” and other memes is now handled by Spike Spiegel (who is also Wolverine) and Avitus, who are either very sad or very angry (respectively) all of the time. At one point, Spike Spiegel spoils victory celebrations by reminding everyone that they’re all going to die some day – he argues the point until everybody agrees and is no longer happy, and then he goes on to say they should save their happiness for when they are dead. Thanks, you emo. Go join the fucking [[Raven Guard]], they like them some Scouts.

Despite everything written, the dialogue is actually pretty good for a Dawn of War game. Especially when the young (relatively, he's around 80) Assault Sergeant starts reflecting on the melancholy of becoming 'one with the chapter,' you know, if you're into overbearing, melodramatic prattling. Of course, Wolverine (Spike Spiegel) strongly encourages the emotional, cynical complaining during the monologue. Srsly, Cyrus jumps in to keep the complaints coming in the middle of the monologue.

It was pretty fun to play once through (if you enjoyed the levels in [[Command and Conquer]]/[[Starcraft]] where you had a limited bunch of units instead of a proper base), although repetitive since all the maps are reused two or three times each. There wasn't much point in replaying since you've technically already beaten everything twice or more.

==Sad Day in the Imperium==
Relic was bought out by Sega and still have the license to make 40K. The guys who made Total War <s>are confirmed as making Warhammer Fantasy games.</s> It came out, and HELL FUCKING YEAH it's good.

But still, the idea of the spess marheens coming to the aid of the obviously abhuman Sonic and Tails to do battle with the rogue Techpriest Robotnik would be hilarious.

... I just hope Matt Ward doesn't read this, or they'll probably wind up in the next Grey Knights codex.

==Chaos Rising==
[[File:Chaos_Rising_boxshot.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[File:Chaos_Rising_TVCM.jpg|thumb|right|HAIRESY will be maintained regardless of loyalty!]]
The first expansion is called Chaos Rising and was released on March 11, 2010. In this game, Relic has realized its heinous mistake and has decided to include the Chaos Space Marines and the option to turn your Blood Ravens into Chaos Space Marines.

Featuring a warband of Black Legion Kayoss Spess Mehreens (with the addition of [[Eliphas]], whose soul Abaddon purchased), a bunch of new units (Chaos Dreadnought, awesome [[Khorne]] and [[Nurgle]] stuff, Genestealers, etc), a corruption meter changed by your actions in game (which determines whether your Spess Mehreens are khayotic or not), some nice ice planet called Aurelia, and a [[Space Hulk]]. Apparently, according to the developers, no moar missions will be exactly the same. Also! An exciting new character known as Jonah Orion the Librarian! In a shocking twist, it turns out the mysterious librarian teammate was not the daemons, amazingly enough ([http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nveHagB16Cc] unless you decide to screw canon), despite being the one with a direct connection to the warp.

==Retribution==
Retribution was released on March 1, 2011 and was said to re-feature base-building to some degree, multi-faction campaigns and the possible coming of the Inquisition to Aurelia. Characters include Kaptain Bluddflagg, an [[Freebooterz|Ork Pirate guy]] doing what all Orkz do best (choppin', fightin', killin', lootin', and rockin' a crazy west country accent while doin' it, 0:49 in linked video) but sadly isn't Gorgutz. Other confirmed factions include the Eldar (where you play as an Autarch) and 'Nids where you play as a really OP Hive Tyrant with the ability to generate units and regen health when those units die, creating a perpetual motion machine of health regeneration that lets you just troll your way through the whole game. The Swarmlord is nothing but a call-in super unit, to the disappointment of all. Sorry. So if you're looking to get your '''BLAM!''' on... well, here's your chance. The story is rather clear cut, an Imperial Exterminatus has been declared on the sub-sector for not getting its shit together; many lols ensue. It also appears Gabriel Angelos is in for a rematch against that spritely little Khorne daemon he accidentally unleashed way back in in the original Dawn of War. The constellation of armies that fight in the sub-sector resembles that from the original DOW as well - the enemy factions are the Eldar of Biel'Tan, the Orks of the Bad Moons Clan and the Chaos Space Marines of the Alpha Legion.

Unfortunately, each 'campaign' is effectively exactly the same. Each mission is identical regardless of faction (except for the buildings; Chaos get warp portals, Loyalists get teleportariums, etc), but the dialogue is unique. Oddly, they all seem to experience the same events - Eliphas is treated to the same Scottish monologue about Dah Behnbleed as Diomedes. He just doesn't react as well.

Oh and before we forget to say it, Everyone's Favorite [[Imperial Guard|Red Shirt Army is back!]] And they brought [[Baneblade|Presents!]]

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=andBbJMcu6M Trailer link]

== Characters of Dawn of War II ==
[[File:Hurf Durf.jpg|400px|right]]

* '''[[Farseer]] [[Idranel]]''' - She's the incredibly racist Eldar Farseer leading the Eldar on Aurelia. She's more racist than most traditional Eldar and because of this, she spawned the mini-meme "Double Mon-keigh" which is kinda equivalent to Double Heresy. She gets killed in Angel Forge after Tarkus bitch-slaps her with his Terminator armor's power fist.

* '''[[Gabriel Angelos]]''' - DoW's Gabe. From here, his role is more of an advisory and critiquing one since he never appears in-person in a mission (apart from the final mission against the Tyranids). <s>Will probably</s> Returns in Retribution, leading the remnants of the loyalist Blood Ravens against Kyras <s>(though, sadly, he is once again not available to play)</s> Playable only in the tutorial mission for Retribution, but that means fuckall.

* '''[[Davian Thule|Davian Cool]]''' - Makes his return to DoW as a dreadnought this time around, causing him to easily be an ace in the hole for most missions thereafter. In the expansion he can rip apart enemy vehicles and turn them into health and damage upgrades for the rest of your marines (which mysteriously disappear after your current deployment - he was only using duct tape). His Alzheimers seems to have improved somewhat, and he is capable of speaking more than two sentences before forgetting that he left the iron on back at the chapter keep. He is awesome in-game, capable of killing armies by smacking his fist on the ground resulting in tyranid/ork/eldar/[[Cultist|kay-oss]] spess mehreen giblets at a rather ridiculous distance (the radius is twice as long as he is tall at maximum) and also stunning everything that is still alive for just a few seconds shorter than the time it takes for this ability to recharge. He can also sweep his assault cannon and instagib everything in a 90 degree angle in front of him, or he can use the multimelta sweep (best leveled up) and melt entire armies (as long as they are at close range) and erase titanic amounts of a boss's health in one go (because Predator armor is really painted butter), which makes fucking bullshit bosses like [[Ulkair]] and [[Martellus]] far more manageable. In addition he can charge and gib everything in his path, shatter cover, taunt vehicles and walkers to a one on one duel (if he's venerable and wins, he grants your entire strike force a fuckhueg bonus), lastly he can shut down and regenerate his health really quickly and, if you put enough points into stamina, he can still be controlled in this state (although his speed is reduced to a crawl). He's totally awesome as a Venerable dreadnought because he'll be killing enemies so frequently that you'll pretty much always have an combat bonus up. Once you get him, you'll wonder how you ever lived without him. He is sadly killed in Retribution by Eliphas (maybe), and many shed manly tears upon his (probable) death.

* '''[[Blood Ravens Force Commander|The Force Commander]]''' (Aliases include: FC Hair Gel and FC Vanilla Ice) - Is declared renegade after Chaos Rising (no, not hair-esy, just regular heresy. He's already a hair-etic). Despite being called, 'the only guido ever to assume the rank of Force Commander', the Force Commander's voice is provided by the same guy who does Gabe's voice in DoWII. This makes his voice in the cinematic make him sound quite old and gruff when compared to Thaddeus. This was likely done because no one would want to play a teeny guido voiced Spess Mehreen. EVER. Is also, paradoxically enough, from the Jersey Shore. Got declared a renegade and left behind the b&hammer he dropped on Ulkair for Diomedes. Calls the 'Hammer of the Nameless', it's a kick in the balls to those who downed Ulkair with Lightning Claws or specced him into a shooty Force commander. His name is Aramus in the novels, though various conflicts between the novels & games canon has many fans insisting Aramus is a totally different guy. They're bitches like that.

* '''[[Avitus]]''' - Hates balls-of-steel Guardsmen with a passion due to the Kronus campaign. He was also <s>molested</s> brutalized by them during childhood, never fully accepting that he probably deserved it. During the game he expresses anger at everything, including anger at his own chapter for numerous reasons, making statements bordering on treason by the rigid standards of a Space Marine chapter. He's just an angry guy. He frequently asks aliens to show him their fury; or in fuckwit's terms, to get angry at him. He will also very, very frequently say "more corpses" after leaving yet another Xeno/Heretic dead. When he's in terminator armor he has an assault cannon by default, which is awesome, and can also mount a shoulder-mounted cyclone missile launcher to fuck vehicles and infantry over, but his squadmates still have storm bolters; it's not really a problem, since by level 30 their storm bolters will still deal like 1000 damage per shot against freaking tanks. In canon, he was actually the traitor in the Force Commander's squad, and was slain by Tarkus. <s>If</s> [[canon|When]] he turns to chaos he turns into a Khornate Terminator Havoc (TT doesn't really have a designation for heavy raged chaos termies), fucking your shit up with assault cannon sweeps and cyclone missile barrages.

* '''[[Cyrus|Spike Spiegel]]''' (AKA Wolverine or sometimes even Cyrus or Nancy) - Will whine, cry, and generally detest everything and anything that happens as a matter of character and principle. He's trying so hard to be a misunderstood badass. Just so hard, the poor deluded fool - although to his benefit he is hard to understand. It's hard to understand what his fucking problem is, for example. He was probably [[FATAL|raped by Tyranids]] while he was in Deathwatch. Is voiced by the normally hot blooded [[Steve Blum]]... What the fuck happened, Steve? If he turns traitor he tries to stage a coup, citing the [[fail|incompetence]] of leaders like [[Indrick Boreale]] (making it the one emotional outburst the player will actually sympathize with). Along with Tarkus he has the honor of being the most ridiculously unbalanced character in the game. Once you level up his will and strength discipline high enough, he can cloak for virtually the entirety of a mission and shit explosives WHILE cloaked. So yeah, with a bit of microing, he can basically fuck over everything alone when he's equipped with free remote charges and mines, throw in a sniper rifle to get rid of pesky high-value targets and an access to an easy suppression weapon and there's basically nothing <s>short of end-game bosses</s> can stop him. Have fun with that.

[[Image:Tarkus.jpg|thumb|right|Tarkus [[/tg/ gets shit done|gets shit done]].]]
* '''[[Tarkus]]''' - Killed a Necron Tomb Spyder on Kronus by shoving a grenade into its head, a clever ploy which led to the loss of his arm (replaced by cybernetics), his hair, and half of his face. Apparently he also owns a flamer awarded to him by the Salamanders Chapter, since the Salamanders don't really know what else to give people on any occasion. Unlike Avitus and Cyrus, who could never blend into most known societies today because both struggle desperately to understand more than one human emotion at a time, Tarkus is actually pretty normal for a Space Marine. What little angst he does display is usually about the sorry state of the chapter, or his intense hatred of [[Eldar|spess elves]]. If he turns traitor he decides to save the chapter by going on a psychotic killing spree with his new BFF, a possessed bolter. In game Tarkus is stupidly unbalanced. If his will discipline is leveled high enough, he can both spam grenades and can master the fine art of Grenade Fu, which allows him to throw 3 grenades at once, guaranteeing that anything in a tight formation is blow to smithereens. If you max out his stamina he literally cannot die while tactical advance is active, cementing the poor bastard's position as a breathing orbital strike beacon for the rest of the game. His taunts make everyone RAGE.

* '''The [[Khaine|Avatar of Khaine]]''' - The avatar of [[Khaela Mensha Khaine]] is summoned once in both the vanilla game and Chaos Rising by the Eldar. He was a motherfucker of a boss during the original game due having the highest health of any enemy in the original campaign, insane damage and calling in loads of Fire Prisms, but was somewhat easier in Chaos Rising.

* '''[[Scott McNeil]]''' - SCOTT MCNEIL! MIGHTY IS HE!!!

* '''[[Thaddeus]]''' - Supposedly an ex hive ganger. This is almost impossible to believe for a number of reasons. One is that Thaddeus is probably the most hair-etical member of the bunch, especially considering how he manages to make that shit stay despite flying around with a jet pack all day. Two is that he's the one who decides to start whining in the middle of the game about how emotionally jarring it is to become a Space Marine (which Cyrus aggressively approved of). I'm pretty sure gangsters rape you for that nonsense. Though it's difficult to tell due to the lighting in his talking head's box, he has blond hair; and as we all know, all blond men are evil. If he turns traitor he decides he saved everybody in the first game and that he needs to "save" you, by assault jumping on your face until you stop moving.

* '''Gordian The Apothecary''' - Aside from Tarkus, the only other character in the game who's dialog does not strictly adhere to only one human emotion. Made a minor appearance in the Dark Crusade after action reports. Called out Cyrus on his pessimistic bullshit. Was killed when the Armageddon was shot down.

* '''[[Martellus]] the Techmarine''' - Some lazy fuckwit on board a strike cruiser who's sole job it is to tell you bad news. Is secretly Spike Spiegel. His Thunderhawk crashed on Typhon shortly before the final battle in the vanilla game and, using only plot-armor, managed to survive for a year alone and crippled against Ork lootas, Tyranid remnants and the newly arrived Chaos Marines. You find him in one of the first Chaos Rising missions, and it's the only mission where you can control him. If he becomes the traitor he expresses some displeasure about the whole being left to die thing, and expresses it by busting out a custom BAWKS that does fucking retarded amounts of damage and takes fucking forever to kill. In an actual plot TWEEST, Martellus is CONFIRMED in Retribution as being a Blood Raven loyalist along with Tarkus, Cyrus and Diomedes. Actually, he's a pretty cool guy, in that he's not as aggressively annoying as Cyrus. Did I mention he has an [[awesome]] helm and is double red?

* '''Governor Vandis''' - The planetary Governor of Meridian and the most useless character in Dawn of War 2. Instead of helping the player, he just got high in his pleasure palace while two strippers sucked his dingy. He also tried to out-Blood Raven the Blood Ravens by stealing their artifacts ([[wat|including full suits of Terminator armor]]), but was caught when Angel Gate was attacked, and so his attempt failed. In Chaos rising he committed heresy and joined up with the Black Legion to attack the newly promoted Governor Derosa's holdings in hope of regaining leadership. He lost. Oh, right, you never see him.

* '''Governor Ellena Derosa''' - An adviser to Governor Vandis and eventually the de facto Governor of all of Meridian after Vandis took off to his playboy mansion and left the planet to die to the Tyranids and Chaos forces, she's also the only useful Imperial Guard commander in the series (up until Retribution anyway). She was originally told by Vandis to stall the Blood Ravens, but had enough of his bullshit and finally helped the Blood Ravens in their defense against the Tyranids and Chaos legions in both games. She also told Thaddeus to fuck off when she had enough of his criticism. Avitus has the hots for her since you don't normally see too many Imperial Guard officers who can tell Space Marine Sergeants to shut the fuck up and listen, but unfortunately for him she is a [[heresy|xenos loving]] [[Idranel#Dear_.27Farseer.27_Part_One|lesbian]] .

* '''Warboss Bonesmasha''' - The Ork Warboss who's supposedly the Warboss of the entire Waaaagh! on Aurelia. He can be fought in an optional mission near the end, which rewards you with another Terminator suit. He's famous in DoWII for having a FUCKING high health counter and ridiculous damage, the highest of any unit boss in the game. The Tyranid Hive Tyrant Alpha has nothing on this guy. Hell, he is so Orky that he can withstand multiple lance strikes from orbiting ships. Though hilariously, with a bit of tactics and a max-leveled Cyrus with a sniper rifle and remote charges/mines or a well-built Tarkus/Hairgel tag-team, you can pretty much solo him without much trouble.

==New characters of Chaos Rising==
* '''Apothecary Galan''' - He found Kyras on the space hulk Judgement of Carrion a long time ago, and was corrupted by Chaos after spending too much time on the wreckage. Once you infiltrate Captain Diomedes's base you have the choice to kill him and his terminator veteran bodyguards, who are also heretics. If you do, he'll be back to his old self and tell you that Kyras is evil and stuff, and you can then blow up Diomedes's base and not have to kill him (Although if you murder too many fellow Blood Ravens, Diomedes is killed by Avitus iN a scripted cut scene). If you don't kill him and still complete the mission, Diomedes will cry bloody murder at you for wrecking his base and is approached by Galan who appears to plan to corrupt Diomedes in his quest for vengeance. He's notable for his chainsword named "Ravenous", which has the same penetration properties as a powersword, but hits as fast as a chainsword (Its implied that its a daemon weapon as the weapon itself thirsts for blood), although using the weapon will corrupt the wielder.

* '''[[Abaddon]]''' - Because destroying a dangerously depleted Space Marine chapter fighting a civil war with itself is just the sort of victory he needs to win back his 'street cred'. Bwahaha, just kidding. He'll still lose.

* '''[[Araghast the Pillager]]''' - The Chaos Lord of the Black Legion responsible for Eliphas' resurrection. He is shown to be superior to all prior Chaos Lords, including Eliphas, due to his superior Voice acting, [[Khorne]] Worship, and Terminator armor. He is defeated because Relic handled his gameplay terribly, and because Eliphas was an ungrateful dick who let him die. However, Araghast is an enormously powerful unit in actual gameplay terms (ie: Multiplayer) and rather fun to be around, regardless. He's perhaps the best hero unit in the game due to his top end damage when deployed with a Blood Maul or a pair of Lightning Claws. Other benefits include immunity to suppression fire early on in the game, his ability to reduce enemy range to almost nil, and his ability to reduce enemy squad damage by a sizable margin every time he kills a unit and his extremely high health and his vampiric health regeneration. [[Butthurt|He is clearly the hero of Chaos Rising and the mere idea that he loses to some effete snob with an arrogant and unpleasant fanbase makes the game moar tragic than Hamlet and Othello put together.]] (But he IS on the boxart, so...) He is also a devotee of Khorne and, unlike Crull, totally awesome. He is a master of the art of insult, as is evident by his creative and awesome taunting of the Blood Ravens on the mission where they kill him. Also awesome because his strategy revolved around portals, and not Defilers. He was eventually killed after getting Sindri'd by Eliphas, which wasn't really that surprising since Araghast has the attention span of [[Lord Bale]].

* '''Captain [[Apollo Diomedes]] of the 1st Company''' - Diomedes is a helmet wearing jerkass, but damn if he isn't awesome (he's a 1st Company Veteran after all). At first, he kill steals the sorcerer you were sent to eliminate with gusto, then tells you and Gabriel to stand down and get the fuck out of the sector. You're tasked by Martellus to blow up his command center so he can get the transmission codes from the honor guard so he can identify the traitor in the chapter. If you kill Galan, you don't have to kill him and he will realize that Kyras is a heretic and joins Angelos's side...sort of. This would mean that the 1st, 3rd, and 4th companies would be on Angelos' side, and since the blood ravens are only at half strength, poor old Kyras will only have 200 marines to his name, which would mean that he'd be majorly screwed. He has a pimping white helmet and gold trimmed [[pauldrons]].

* '''[[Jonah Orion]]''' - Gabe's new librarian buddy after Isador got executed for [[heresy]] on Tartarus and a member of the player's squad. He was absent in the first game due to the fact that he played a rousing game of mindfucking with the Tyranid Hivemind for weeks so Gabriel's fleet could enter the system and hamper the Tyranid forces altogether. He's pretty powerful in game, he can have a variety of useful/devastating abilities with his tomes and you have a chance to acquire a piece of armor that allows you to infinitely spam the [[Rosarius]] wargear for temporary invincibility, fuck yeah. He becomes a rape machine when he is upgraded to the point that he will toss soulfire and smite as part of his normal ranged attacks, dealing massive amounts of ranged damage to anyone stupid enough to get his way. If he turns out the traitor, he's actually possessed by a daemon controlling his body like a puppet after Kyras sold it the codes to circumvent his psychic hood for some stale old pork rinds. In the end, you are able to kill his daemonhost form because he is [[Awesome|fighting the daemon from the inside and preventing it from regenerating]].

* '''[[Ulkair]] the Great Unclean One''' - Ulkair is a Great Unclean One of [[Nurgle]] who was imprisoned by Kyras long ago in Aurelia, but the prison used to hold him started to break, so he was able to exert his influence into the world. He's the final boss in Chaos Rising. Possibly because Relic heard people say that the Alpha Hive Tyrant in the original campaign was too easy, they made Ulkair absolute hell. He is famous for being THE toughest boss in the entire series up until retribution, where he's replaced by Kyras. He basically has a 7-digit health counter (So his HP should be around 1 million or more) and is capable of 1-shotting your LV.30 kitted-out Force Commander if he isn't in Chaos Rising-grade terminator armor and is the only thing that [[Davian Thule|Davian Cool]] can't hold in CQC without dying at least once. He can also vomit on everyone, doing around the same damage as an artillery barrage from the Signum, do Eliphas's sweeping doom, and can pull one of your sergeants with his intestines if they start doing kite moves so he can OM NOM NOM him. Fuck The Avatar of Khaine and Warboss Bonesmasha, they're easy compared to this lardass. Oh, and he heals himself every time one of the numerous (and very squishy) generic allied Space Marines on the map dies, regardless of the reason for it.

* '''[[Eliphas]]''' - He's in the expansion, as a mini-boss no less. Successfully Sindri'd Araghast and assumes leadership of the Black Legion forces. He fails eventually. Almost as annoying to fight as Martellus, due to spamming doombolts and bloodletters at you. Eliphas appears in Retribution as well, surprisingly as the Chaos Lord. [[Abaddon|Thank the ever competent Black Legion Chaos Lord for that]].

== Characters of Dawn of War: Retribution ==
Retribution had a vastly different cast in comparison to the original game and CR, so a new section is in order.

[[File:IG.jpg|thumb|right|Contender for manliest IG commander yet? (Make him yell "SPARTA" and the setting is complete)]]
[[File:Inquis2.jpg|thumb|right|Multiple covers: Collect them all!]]

====Blood Ravens====
* Plot: Diomedes is tasked by Inquisitor Adrastia to find proof that would absolve or damn their Chapter Master of the numerous accusations of heresy.

* '''Captain Apollo Diomedes''' - Diomedes finally gets his big break and now assumes the role of the "Force Commander" in Retribution. He lost his pimpin' white helmet, though, and is revealed to be (surprise surprise) bald. He is also called the 'greatest warrior the Blood Ravens have ever seen,' by Azariah Kyras, and proves it with his two handed poweraxe/thunder hammer which does a motherfucking shit ton of damage to anything in its way, even if it's rather slow. He's thoroughly outclassed by Eliphas in terms of damage, but he's generally tankier than Eliphas despite the latter being encased in Terminator armor. On the bright side, he does more damage than Bluddflag. Some consider him to be the spiritual successor of Indrick Boreale. As of the latest patch, he has become insane, fully upgraded to victory is the single most damaging power in the game, if harder to aim than sweeping doom. Charge into any mob of infantry and watch them explode into a fountain of gore. He quickly gets an upgrade that let's him get health back for each attack and kill (and then ANOHER ONE) making him unlikable in melee, when in battle cry mode each of his attacks knock over hordes like bowling pins, his hammer opens up vehicles like cans, his heal power has an utterly ridiculous range, oh and each of his commander items is silly, the banner unsuppresses everyone and heals them, the pack let's him drop in the midst of a blob and throw everyone around or set up for a charge, and iron halo makes him invincible. He hears you, go ahead.

* '''Spike Spiegel''' - Spike Spiegel has once again returned to try to become a misunderstood badass (again). Out of all his fellow squadmates, Relic just HAD to put Cyrus back in because he's apparently the "cool bad-ass" even though he spends most of his time whining about how fucked up the world is. He's still pretty damned good, but he's not as broken comparatively, since everyone else can use gear for free too. He's very handy for getting rid of those fucking noise marines. Overall however, he's vastly eclipsed by the Assault Terminator honor guard squad you can bring in his place, especially considering they're the only source of Assault Terminators in the game. Get focus, a good rifle, his old kit of explosives, and the power to use abilities without revealing himself. With the best rifle he can turn any infantry he shoots into a blob disrupting bomb that suppresses everything hit by it, with focus he literally slows down time and unleashes rapid fire sniper rape that can let him wipe out a squad before they can even shoot back or turn a dozen enemies into explosives. And high powered shot instagibs just about any infantry, plus he can clear buildings like a pro. Throw in his ability to do all of this while having no energy cost for infiltrating AT ALL and the ability to regenerate energy while infiltrating for extra cheese. This is quite possibly his most powerful incarnation yet thanks to the hilarious over the topness of some of his abilities.

* '''Martellus''' - Martellus, that fuckwit, has secretly joined Diomedes. Unlike the last game where all he did was tell you bad news without doing shit about it, he's probably gonna do SOMETHING to help you, considering he's part of your squad. If you haven't guessed, his role is a Techmarine. Give him a melta and he will eat people and tanks for fucking breakfast. End game he gets a nifty as fuck power axe and an ungodly powerful melta, the axe when combined with powerful blow fucks over infantry, the melta eats *everything* , and he can repair a tank from across the map while fucking over the enemy or call in a Venerable Dreadnought you can pretend is Davian Thule. Do not fuck with the tech geek. Make sure to upgrade energy to get Blessing of the Machine Spirit, use it on a Land Raider and turn the last few missions into an absolute joke.

* '''The Ancient''' - He does not speak, since after he killed Avitus (Who was canonically the Traitor), he took a vow of silence to atone for past sins, but his actions speak volumes on the battlefield. He does speak after Diomedes finally realizes that Kyras had been manipulating him all those years. Hand him a plasma cannon and he'll buttfuck most everything that can be thrown at him as long as you can keep him out of melee. Also, arguably the most versatile hero of the squad since he can use anything that isn't a 2 handed melee weapon, a Shotgun or a Sniper Rifle. Can also get his hands on a jump-pack for faster thievery and can make himself invulnerable when using any of his abilities, and that's on top of Tactical Advance. He's secretly Stig's Space Marine cousin. Spoiler: he's Tarkus. Give him the Shadowscale armor wargear that renders him permanently invisible and chapter rites accessory, and a plasma cannon, plus the final offense ability to call in air-strikes, then watch him demolish everything in his path with impunity. This includes your troops, so stay the fuck away.

====Orks====
* Plot: Kaptin' Bludflagg's Kill Krooza is shot down into Typhon, presumably by those poncy Eldar gits. After killing off the entire Alaitoc warhost on Typhon under the impression that they shot down his krooza, he is later contacted and hired by Inquisitor Adrastia to hunt down and kill Azariah Kyras in exchange for an arranged battle with 3 Imperial Regiments on a battleground of his choice. The deal got botched after Kaptin Bludflagg also wanted Adrastia's flashy hat, which she denied in giving. Kaptin Bludflagg only decides to stomp Kyras good after Adrastia told him that she shot down his Krooza, sending him into a quest for revenge, fightin', lootin', winnin', and hats. Apparently he thinks he has to go through Kyras to get her hat and that fight she promised him.

Tl:dr Orks do whatever they want, as usual.

* '''Kaptin Bluddflag''' - The Ork warboss leading the Waaagh on Aurelia, awesome with a capital A since he's wearing a god damned pirate hat with a bionic eyepatch. Sadly, he isn't Gorgutz, so many a veteran Dawn of War fan were disappointed upon hearing the news. Has a large interest in [[Hats]]. Does a whole belligerent sexual tension routine with Adrastia, despite being an asexual animate fungus. Alas, he is a far less capable melee combatant than Eliphas (though he has more health than Eliphas by a large margin and can actually support his army). However, he will always be superior due to being funnier and the mere fact he's a motherfucking pirate, which trumps Chaos Lords in Terminator armor any day. His WAAAGH! ability is pure awesome sauce, eventually making the boyz immune to suppression and buffing damage, healing, completely refilling energy (including Bluddflagg's, so effectively WAAAGH! becomes a free power), reinforcing all the ork squads near him (thus eliminating the need to go back to reinforcement points), repairing damaged vehicles and reviving incapacitated heroes, and summoning additional temporary (and free) ork squads. And the damage bonuses become stronger as more orks are under its effects, meaning that if you fill up your squad cap with orks, Bluddflagg will allow you to rape everything in seconds. WAAAGH! also recharges very quickly. He talks quite a lot, and apparently he can outsmack Daemon Prince DOM-Kyras. Watching him go toe to toe with a Godzilla sized Daemon Prince, then knocking his head off with a rock, is awesome. He hijacks an entire Tyranid, Ork, and Daemon infested Spacehulk, The Judgement of Carrion, which is totally and absolutely badass. I mean he manages to get a ten thousand something year old floating pile of fused together space junk fully operational in spite of the fact that there is like an entire Hive Fleet's worth of Tyranids in it. He's an ork who can read, write, do basic calculus, and outsmart a Space Marine Chapter Master, which easily makes him basically the ork equivalent of Einstein mixed with Shakespeare. He's voiced by Patrick Seitz, who also voices [[Abaddon|Abaddon]].

* '''Mister Nailbrain''' - Mekboy and Kaptin Bluddflagg’s First Mate. "I'll SET ME GITFINDA TA PANSY BOSS!" Once you level him up to the point where he no longer has setup times for deffguns, he becomes very, very useful; after this point you'll handily outdamage the big shoota, so Nailbrain becomes an invaluable suppressing fire provider. His Fighting Juice is very, very handy since it heals your orks, revives incapacitated squad leaders, and improves their combat ability; use it to supplement Bluddflagg's WAAAGH! ability. His Stikkbombs, like all Grenade powers, stop being that good for garrison clearing midway through the game since even Heretics and Guardsmen will be able to take multiple stikkbombs to clear out, give them to spookums who can do so much more with them. However, give him the ability to passive heal vehicles, and the ability that makes vehicles come back from the dead and quite quickly lulz ensue as you go over the Population capacity, make your vehicles be nigh on unkillable and extremely strong, then use a combination of Kans and Tanks with the speed boost ablility, you can also have his passive heal and vehicle revive if you chose his honor squad-A vehicle, quickly this Deff dread can turn into a walking rape machine that costs nothing and doesn't count towards population. He talks the second most out of the Orks, he has almost as many lines as Bluddflagg. Capable of teleporting around wiping out whole masses of infantry with a damaging aura and silly as fuck damaging AoEs without ever actually firing his weapon once if you spec him up right.

* '''Spookums''' - The Kaptin’s Kommando Nob. Doesn't say much, but tends to be funny as shit. His starting shotgun is rather useless since you have to piss around with optimum range bullshit (stand more than a few feet away and you'll take forever to kill even basic infantry, stand too close and you'll be in melee, and even if you can get it right heavy infantry laugh at shotguns which is bad since you'll have to kill a lot of Chaos and renegade space marines) and the Big Shoota is just backup for the Deffgun, but he really starts to shine when you can give him a rokkit launcher. The Rokkit launcher does have some of the optimum range bullshit that the melta and shotguns have, but you can do maximum damage from a reasonable distance which is enough to blow up most every vehicle in two or three shots with frontal armor hits and it reloads really fast (way faster than the missile launcher). The Rokkit launcher is also great for building clearing with either rokkit barrages or normal shots (both of which work by simply blowing up the building). Also, one of his abilities essentially has him open a portal to the infinite grenades dimension, and combining this with his zipline means he can absolutely devastate blobbed enemy forces. When you level his offensive tree he randomly tosses around grenades with an amazingly high percentage of his attacks, which amazingly lets him out damage *Neroth* with just stikkbomms, with smoke grenades he throws cover everywhere, trolling shooty foes, with blind bomms he makes the enemy unable to do anything but stare with a stupid look on their face before they get torn a new asshole, Burnabomms turn everything to ash, and he can have two or even three at once, and he tosses out clusters of both! The actual tossing power when leveled hurls a dozen grenades, some of which explode on impact which is an excellent way to troll blobs and cover camping pansies. Oh and his grenades don't hurt your boyz, feel free to charge away! His zipline not only lets him hop across the map and rip apart infantry, but also revives any fallen heroes. And the cherry on top? He can do all this invisibly, is decently tough, and not half bad in melee. There's a rokkit launcha that launches nine rockets that each have much greater AoE than normal letting him reduce infantry to paste with ease; you want this. He's easily the best ranged hero in terms of straight-up damage. Neroth, Kain, Tarkus, Eldar kitted out for dakka, Merrick, Castor, Nailbrain, Cyrus, Dakka Martellus, ranged Hive lord, none of them even come close. Him showing up will turn the battlefield into a Michael Bay movie. He is voiced by [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Atkin_Downes the guy who is also Medic and Master Miller]

* '''Brikkfist''' - A Storm Nob that has joined with the Freebooters. No other character in the entire WH40K universe has a name as awesome as his. He is fucking amazing, with the hammer he can hurt just about everything, he'll be able to automatically cause suppression by just being there, and disembowel followed by stab will kill pretty much any infantry unit that is not a boss. Also, fully upgrading his jump abilities causes him to explode on takeoff and landing, fly completely off the screen, and generally be hilarious walking artillery. Even so, he's still outclassed by Kain, who is Eliphas' mute slave, in terms of damage and staying power. With a Tankbusta bomb he'll also be able to rapidly put a hurting on any vehicle, allowing you to finish them off much more easily. He talks quite a bit, but far less than Nailbrain or Bluddflagg. He is an appreciator of really great punches/smacks, saying "Now dat was a propa smak" after seeing Daemon Prince Kyras double hammer fist Captain Angelos, to which Bluddflagg replies "Aye, the second 'ardest y'es gonna see today if ya don't keep movin'." He can get traits that heal him in melee and an axe that also heals him in melee, suppresses people by just being there, taunts enemies into attacking him even after he explodes in their midst, and then rip out their guts before gibbing one poor fool. He and Bluddflagg can use a hilarious choppa that randomly teleports enemies, sometimes causing them to explode and sometimes replacing them with bloodletters, gaunts, and rippers, turning high end melee enemies like assault terminators into a bad joke. Awesome. Oh, and he wants to ride a [[Exterminatus|cyclonic torpedo.]]

====Imperial Guard====
* Plot: Inquisitor Adrastia, a friend of Gabriel Angelos, is requested by him to try and halt the exterminatus by finding proof of Kyras' heresy. As this is an unofficial investigation, Adrastia uses General Castor's and Merrick's guardsmen as their forces.
*[http://forums.relicnews.com/showthread.php?253393-Death-Korps-of-Krieg-Previews-Shuma-s-Wargear-Room%28Ranked-compatible-Mods!%29&p=1045225405&viewfull=1#post1045225405 Now available in awesomesauce Krieg form]

* '''Inquisitor [[Adrastia]]''' - The female Inquisitor of The Ordo Hereticus assigned to purge/investigate the Aurelian sub sector of xenos, heretics, and mutants. She has artificer armor, a pimp hat and a pop-collar that rivals that of [[Creed]]. Likes: [[Exterminatus|EXTERMINATUS]], The [[Emprah]], Burning Heretics, Gabriel Angelos. Dislikes: Everything else. Chief Weapons: Surprise and Fear. Also likes to cheer her men up by telling them that if they fail, Aurelia will be Exterminatus'd and she'll be the only one allowed out. So tsundere for Bluddflagg. No, really. We wish we were kidding here. She apparently has a thing going for Angelos, and when Kyras smacks him in the end of the IG campaign (remember, Angelos only survives the pit of Maledictus in the SM campaign) she gets really pissed, first shouting "CAPTAIN ANGELOS! NO!" and then telling Kyras that he had better pray that he dies this day or she will make sure that his life will be filled with as much fucking pain and misery as possible. That is a totally badass thing to threaten a FUCKHUEG Daemon Prince with. However, despite her general coolness, she is outclassed by her honor guard Storm Troopers, primarily because what she can do, either her Storm trooper honor guards or LORD Bern can do better (Storm troopers pump out more dakka with their melta kits and LORD Bern is infinitely more durable and better in melee.) Seriously, give Adrastia the upgrades which affect Honor Guards, give them the melta kit, and watch them wreck anything in their path. Rapid firing Melta guns, with stun! With that said, she comes with some fairly nifty crowd control/debuff abilities that would have been far more useful in multiplayer. Also the owner of the ONLY DAMN INFERNO PISTOL IN THE ENTIRE GAME. And she replaces it with a glorified bolt pistol if you level the power branch. [[Derp]].

* '''Lord General [[Castor]]''' - A sorta English looking/sounding General, Castor is the main hero of the Imperial Guard campaign, notable for being one of the few Generals that has plenty of [[Sturn|Grit]] and for having a bionic left arm (more on how he got it later) that allows him to one-hand some of the heaviest weapons in the setting and still be able to hit anyone on the other side with any accuracy. Came to Aurelia to fix the problem that the fuckwads in charge made and to help out Adrastia with her work. Has one of the largest Trophy Rooms of any Imperial General (rumors say that, barring the Emperor's own, it's the largest in the Galaxy) and has every single form of Tyranid that has ever been encountered (He lost his left arm on his semi-successful hunt for a [[Hierophant]] bio-titan that was wrecking shit on one of the planets he was assigned to, said Hierophant's head is now his most prized trophy) and a handful of Daemons thrown in for good measure. Despite being the cocksure, glory-hungry and clueless General he appears to be, believe us when we tell you he's a lot smarter than he looks, just ask Kyras. And lastly, he's [[Creed]]'s second cousin, and is one of the few other Cadians that can pull off Creed's signature Tactical Genius (he was allowed to learn this technique when Creed found out that an [[Abaddon| old friend]] was in charge of the Chaos forces there), though he'll never be able to turn a rock into a tank or a bush into a Baneblade, he can turn a [[METAL BOXES|Metal Box]] into a bunch of soldiers (though he needs a base-squad to do that first) and he can turn another Metal Box into a Leman Russ Trollface. He also somehow aims a sniper rifle perfectly with one hand, while holding a sword and running; that man's got skills. In combat, Castor's strength comes in the form of melta guns. Give him the ability that allows his Imperial Guardsmen bodyguard to carry what weapon he's carrying (except sniper rifles), and enjoy your 3-man melta squad. He can also do an exploit that gives you infinite power and requisition, allowing you to buff your heroes to ludicrous heights.

* '''[[Commissar Lord Bernn|Commissar LORD Bernn]]''' (Not putting LORD in capital letters is heresy, and so is putting LORD in the wrong place.) - The math is simple, Commissars = blam, Commissar LORDS = HEUG BLAMMING! He is a support hero, and ironically, supports his men by murdering them. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrrCY7dgaqs Lulz ensue if you put him in a Chimera...] Is the most OP hero in the campaign, since leveling his summary execution makes the benefit apply to your whole force, meaning an army of catachans and storm trooper meltas is much faster, has longer range, rapid fire shotguns/meltaguns and insane damage, making them annihilate anything within range. And the crown on the epicness? Getting the invulnerable trait makes complete invincibility apply on top of all the other benefits, with summary execution recharging before the invulnerability run out. This makes Kyras's slog a 15-minute joyride with minimal casualties. Alas, he has no lines during the campaign, which fucking sucks, though his actions speak louder than his hammy voice in the field. He's usually seen alongside Adrastia in the field and is known for showing the troops under his command that he has even bigger balls than them by [[Awesome|giving a daemon prince a nice powerfisting]] and coming out of it still smelling of roses. A '''massive''' fan of [[Commissar Yarrick]] and is rumored to have yanked one of his eyes out so he could put on a bionic eye just like his idol and he seems to lampshade this every time he gets one of his hands on a Power Fist. He is a proud owner of one of [[Commissar Fuklaw]]'s old Laspistols powered by [[RAGE|RAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEGGGG]]! enabling LORD Bernn to one shot everything suqishier than terminators with a bit of concentration and focused RAAAAAAAEEEEGGGG. Of course, you can go ahead and disregard all of this and take the honor guard because FUCKING OGRYNS HOLY SHIT.

* '''Sergeant [[Merrick]]''' - Technically not a new character, but Retribution is the first time he's is playable. Merrick is such a badass he blasted through a suicide mission to destroy a Tyranid hive fleet, the return of Ulkair AND the ten years of non-stop war in-between. Plays similar to Tarkus and made Avitus choke on his bitching about the Imperial Guard. Unfortunately, he's also a Goddamn pseudo-heretic who places the lives of his men above the Imperium. HERESY! He got really mad with Castor after the Exterminatus of Typhon, telling Castor that he allowed thousands of guardsmen to die (and did so while Bernn had his gun pointed at his head in preparation for BLAMing), but Castor convinced him that it was a necessary sacrifice and by the time DOM-Kyras is dead, they seem to have become friends more or less... or perhaps something... More? Yes, they do. Bros to the end. ''Righteous''. Give him the ability that eliminates set-up time for heavy weapons and an epic autocannon, plus the ability to call in air-strikes, and he becomes a 1-man army of rape against anything short of Kyras.

====Eldar====
* Plot: The Eldar campaign revolves around the prevention of an Exterminatus act on the planet Typhon. Since that there is a craftworld buried in the planet, as well as thousands of soul stones, the Eldar assist Inquisitor Andrastia with her investigation of Azariah Kyras' corruption, therefore stopping the Exterminatus, saving the soul stones, and making Slaanesh very unhappy... At least, that's the plan.

* '''Autarch Kayleth''' - The Eldar commander which the player assumes the role of in Retribution. She has a squeaky high-pitched voice compared to Idranel, is incapable of producing any facial expression other than scowling, and constantly annoys Ronahn with her day-on-end bitching. Has access to the same grenade dimension as Tarkus and Spookums, but combines it with jumping everywhere to become a lolhuge plasma grenade bombing run. She can do a lot of damage but is delicate, so she works best as a hit-and-run type melee hero, although she can use several types of ranged weapons as well. Have her jump into the middle of a group of enemies, let them all charge into surround her in melee, then have her toss grenades all around her, ''then'' have her do a grenade-drop jump back out of melee. Laugh as the enemy eats a ton of grenade spam. Almost every weapon you collect in the campaign will be exclusive to her. Get her a Fusion gun, because she can fire the fusion gun [[Wat|faster than Sentinels can use their multilasers.]] With a fusion gun that causes knock back, watch as melee enemies never even once get close to her as she rips through them with ease, and vehicles may as well not even bother showing up as she annihilates them in one or maybe two seconds. With her self healing abilities and grenade spam, Kayleth is quite capable of clearing whole maps as your enemies suck melta blasts and die.

* '''[[Ronahn]]''' - A former Pathfinder of Ulthwe, but he has renounced his ties to the Seer-led craftworld and now wanders the stars. He probably left because of that dick Eldrad. Sadly, he can never be badass because his gun looks like a giant dildo.(However he still is the most badass in your hero squad..) Still though, he survived Ulthwe's failed attack on Angel Forge and the [[Black Legion]]'s incursion in the sector, that has to account for something. Also, he's Taldeer's brother. As of now it is not known where he fits into LCB canon. Is able to solo missions if you pimp him up enough and leave him with Ranger Long Rifle, as he can BOOM HEADSHOT just about anything given sufficient time and provided he remains undetected.

* '''Veldoran''' - An aged and experienced Warlock accompanying Kayleth on her mission. Can make people's heads explode like in Scanners. He likes to piss Rhonan off with his powers of foresight, which some interpret as implying that he was secretly sent by Eldrad to dick around with him. This is debatable, as he is from Alaitoc. He is by far, one of the most hilarious melee fighters in the game. His "Ethereal Slash" ability basically gives him the equivalent of Eliphas' Sweeping Doom. Level his offensive tree, which vastly improves his offensive skills, to maximum and he'll krump anything from hordes Guardsmen to Nobs in an instant with an Ethereal Slash, level up his health tree to 4 points, where he no longer suffers from suppression, and Veldoran basically becomes a glass-cannon version of Eliphas. Then, give him a Good Singing Spear, the Destructor Runes (For a bit of ranged dakka), plus some heavy armor, then watch him hilariously pulp down armies in a heartbeat. He also has the sexiest fucking voice ever to grace a male Eldar.

* '''Elenwe''' - A Farseer, a master of prediction, helping to guide Kayleth on her mission. Looks surprisingly (read: exactly) like a 16bit pallet swap of Idranel. She doesn't have anything special, apart from the fact that she's the only source of reliable heals for your squad. A good staff and Runes of Channeling is a good setup for her, then level up her health tree to the point where she passively restores health to nearby allies. Then get 2 squads of Wraithguards, stick her near them, and watch your firing line of D-Cannons lay waste while doing a bang-up impression of an objective-sitting Plague Marine squad.

====Tyranids====
* Plot: Aside from returning to contact with the Hive Mind, the rest is perfectly clear: The Tyranids will just '''OM NOM NOM''' everything edible as usual.

* '''The Hive Lord''' - Not the swarmlord as originally thought (but you can get him as the Tyranids' superheavy unit later on), but simply a hilariously tough Hive Tyrant. He's the only Hero for the Tyranids since their campaign plays more like a troop-focused RTS. He's trying to lead the tyranids to resume contact with the Hive Fleet in deep spehss, but something is interfering with his telepathic communication to the fleet and the Hive Lord will solve that problem in the only way that ever works; with lots and lots of violence. He becomes one of the most awesome hive tyrants ever by charging right at a titan sized Daemon Prince and hacking away until DOM-Kyras becomes weak enough to be decapitated by a capillary tower bursting out of the ground. He leads the Hive Fleet to return, make the Malleus ships run with their tails between their legs, and omnomnom Aureilia. In the first Tyranid mission, you immediately have to kill Sergeant Merrick, which is the second most emotionally devastating moment in the game. He is easily the best tank out of all of the Heroes, having more hit points at the start of the game than many heroes will have by level ten (though, to be fair, he has no one to back him up so he needs to survivability), and the fact that the engine considers him a vehicle lets him break missions that weren't designed for vehicles in half. And on top of that, he can also summon reinforcements instantly with no requisition cost (initially he's limited to Rippers, but can upgrade to summon Gaunts, Raveners, and Genestealers instead) has a wide variety of wargear that lets him be either snooty or choppy and also grants fun abilities like the ability to auto-revive and reinforce all units near him. Oh, and as a synapse creature everything around the Hive Lord gets buffs that can also be boosted via wargear.

* '''The Hive Mind''' - No longer simply just a woman's voice with a bit of an echo, the Hive Mind's voice has been reworked into somebody who sounds like they're gargling nails and mayonnaise as they speak (as well as being mildly creepier and more capable of expressing emotion). Ironic, considering the voice is done by a crazy woman. The Hive Mind essentially plays the role that Gabriel Angelos did in the Dawn of War II and Chaos rising campaigns, giving you plot exposition and commands. The other half of the plot exposition comes from intercepted communications from your enemies in response or anticipation to your actions.

====Chaos====
* Plot: Eliphas is now under oath from Failbaddon, his job is to give him every last Blood Raven soul and prevent Kyras' ascension, lest Kyras try to take over as Warmaster himself.

* '''Lord [[Eliphas]]''' - has somehow regained his badassitude. His lines are usually the most violent and best voiced out of all the heroes (tied with the Orks), and he does the most damage out of all the other heroes in the game when specc'd as a Khornate Champion. In addition, in his campaign he has a rematch with Davian Thule and wins. Killing Davian is likely the hardest thing in the game to do from an emotional standpoint, like being forced to shoot a dog you've loved and taken care of for most of your childhood. With his terminator armor (which he obviously stole from Araghast), his constant screaming of 'BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!' and his fun gameplay, Eliphas seemed to have been back to his old self right up until he starts sucking up to Failbaddon. Failbaddon exploits Eliphas' belief in his arms to kowtow Eliphas into servitude. Eliphas then goes on to kill copious amounts of shit and becomes a Daemon Prince after killing another Daemon Prince (Kyras). He can also find a Bloodletter's Hellblade (sadly not a Bloodthirster's Axe) and a Daemon Sword, easily the best commander weapons. He is also capable of soloing missions and land raiders. Turning him into a full Khornate/Nurgle Lord turns him into an all-powerful, unstoppable rapemachine that makes Bluddflag and Diomedes look like shivering pansies in comparisons. He'll out-damage all of them with their best possible respective weapons with almost anything you can get your hands on, and he'll get two passive DoT auras that drain a combined 50hp every second and heals him. Also, he gets health back with every hit. As of the latest patch, Diomedes' To Victory substantially outdamages' Eliphas' sweeping doom, and he's no less capable of being an invincible hurt machine, God damn it. Upon giving him the highest level armor, he looks, suspiciously enough, exactly like Araghast did. Complete with a helmet. Thanks to a mod, you can successfully get rid of Eliphas' baldness and give him a helmet from the get go, making the Chaos Campaign completely awesome. Upon defeating Kyras, he arguably gets the best finishing move, he delivers some particularly macho words and then opens a Warp Rift. After which, a Chaos Star appears and [[Fist of the North Star|CHAINSAWS KYRAS' FUCKING HEAD OFF IN A SPRAY OF GORE]].

* '''[[Neroth]]''' - Chaos Sorcerer devoted to Tzeentch and perhaps the most prissy character in the game. He is an agent of Abaddon sent to make sure that Eliphas fulfills his promise. He's not a very SSSSSINNDRIII type sorcerer despite having the same VA as Sindri, and is mostly concerned with blowing shit up. Giving him the Artifact of Ahriman and kitting him out with 5 points in Offense lets him eat loyalists and shit free doombolts powerful enough to wipe out four squads of Guardsmen at once on very hard, while Eliphas hits the hard targets. In the campaign, Neroth serves a role somewhat akin to a nagging wife, consistently and ineffectually screeching at Eliphas for his decisions. He promptly shuts up after Kyras is slain, however. Some think that Eliphas killed him after ascending to daemonhood after sacrificing the Aurelian sector to Khorne. Some have also speculated that he is gay tsundere for Eliphas.

* '''[[Kain]]''' - Chaos Champion. '''HE LIVES IN DEATH! PEACE THROUGH POWER!''' Whoops, wrong RTS series. He doesn't talk much. Or at all, really. You can fool yourself into thinking that he's Chaos Rising's Eliphas while thinking Retribution's Eliphas is Araghast. Confused yet? Give him the ability that increases his power and rate of fire at the cost of health damage, give him armor that increases his regeneration, hand him a lascannon (or a autocannon), and watch vehicles pop like popcorn. Despite not being a main character and having no lines, he's still capable of out damaging Bluddflag. Even then, Kain doesn't even come close to Eliphas in DPS or durability.

* '''[[Varius]]''' - Plague Champion. Put the 'a' out in front and the 'i' second and it will turn out that his name is an anagram for "a Virus", which pretty much suits him. Also ugly as fuck but that's unsurprising considering he's a follower of Papa Nurgle. Doesn't talk much either. Can turn out to be a fine healer if stamina is filled to max and you get him metabolism. He's also a pretty good tank, which is to be expected from a nurglite and especially a plague marine champion/sergeant WHO FEELS NO PAIN! However, his main use is his zombification track, which makes all allies, as well as anything he kills or infects, temporarily come back as plague zombies to wreck shit for you. Zombifying a heavy weapons team and having it decimate their own lines is a thing of fucking beauty, as is having unstoppable waves of Cultists blowing themselves up, zombifying, and exploding in a shower of plague when they die again. Nurgle is a generous patron. Almost as much as Khorne. Varius doesn't have a shining role in terms of attacks like Neroth or Eliphas, though, give him the a good Chainaxe or bilespewer and watch him zombify entire infantry squads in record time. If you choose to give him a power fist or a missile launcher instead, he can also do a decent job at dealing with vehicles. Most importantly, he's also the only source of healing for your squad since Chaos doesn't get any equipment that can be used to heal, so you'll be forced to bring Varius into your missions, whether you like him or not.

* '''Ulkair''' - He survived, and is a servant of Eliphas now. Not nearly as tough as before since his health isn't even above 10,000, but just enough to do his job of being a siege unit.

====Others====
* '''[[Azariah Kyras]]''' - In the past he backstabbed his way up to the position of Chapter Master of the Blood Ravens, and, as you would expect, it turns out he is a filthy [[RAGE|Khorne worshipping sorcerer]]. However, Khorne hates sorcerers, Librarians ARE NOT the same thing as sorcerers. Sorcerers use arcane knowledge, runes or words of power; a Librarian merely draws upon the power of the warp via the natural connection of their minds as psykers and then beats the fuck out of things with it. While not as Khorne pleasing as mangling someone with your bare hands, beating the fuck out of something with your mind is better than beating the fuck out of something with calligraphy or an equation.) Khorne probably let him serve him despite his sorcerous ways because of how well he could scream the standard Khornate mantra of: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6uNBKop1go "BLOOD! '''FOR THE BLOOD GOD!''' SKULLS! '''FOR THE SKULL THRONE!'''"] as well as a new one "LET THE GALAXY, '''BURN!'''" so well that Khorne just ''had'' to take notice. Kyras used his dickery to get the Imperium to Exterminatus Typhon and sign off a big chunk of a Space Marine chapter to him. After all of this Khornate dickery he walked over to a lava pool in Cyrene where he merged with the Daemon of the Maledictum to become a Mega-Uber-daemon prince the size of a fucking skyscraper (and remember, Sindri only tapped the Maledictum's power when he became a super-daemon prince, Kyras fucking became one with it.) He became the best update to the generic daemon prince look in all Warhammer 40k history, even though he only partially ascended so he was still mortal. Gabriel Angelos found him out and came down to fight him with a bunch of terminators, Jonah Orion, and a Dreadnought or two; but then Diomedes/Bluddflagg/The Hive Lord/Kayleth/Adrastia/Eliphas also found the fucker out and came down to Cyrene just after Angelos. Angelos and his crew futilely fight against Kyras, accomplishing nothing besides killing some Daemons and Chaos loonies because they forgot to blow up the Offering Altars of buttfuckery that were making Kyras invulnerable and protecting him while he finished his ascension. Kyras accidentally tells his weakness to the orks/other space marines/eldar/imperial guard/tyranids/other chaos loonies by telling his chaos looneys to protect these altars. The protagonists destroy the first altar; after which Kyras/DOM gives Angelos one hell of a double hammer fist and disposes of the rest of those space marines. Then they mow down the rest of the altars and make Kyras vulnerable and fight him. After a long, long, LONG, WAY TOO GODDAMN LONG fight, Kyras is on death's door and the protagonists call down their death from above global power (Eldritch Storm, Orbital Bombardment, Artillery Strike, Rok Bombardment, Capillary towers, or Empyreal Abyss) and finish the fucker off, by hitting him a lot of times before blowing his head off and causing his bloated corpse to slump back into his pit. Because he used noise marines, he isn't as bro-tier as Araghast.
**Of course, if you're playing as Imperial Guard, Kyras is a complete joke. Grab a hundred Guardsmen with Plasma Guns and Flamers, a couple Melta armed Stormtrooper teams and a Baneblade, and you're laughing as Kyras crumbles in under five minutes. '''Forget all of that, bring the entire squadcap of nothing but Stormtroopers with Meltas, and he goes down in under 15 seconds, Tyranids with nothing but Venom Cannons or Eldar spamming Wraithguards bring him down about as fast too.'''

* '''Sergeant Lysandros''': The sergeant of a renegade Blood Raven contingency, sent to destroy Argus settlement on Calderis to remove traces of Kyras' passing there. He gets killed after you level his base. He's known for sending a large contingent of [[Razorback]]s to reinforce their base, because we all know that Space Marines love to [[Firaeveus Carron|HIDE IN MEHTAL BAWKSES! THE COWARDS! THE FEWLZ!]] You do have to take away his metal boxes in order to take out his HQ.

* '''Tyrea''': An Eldar Banshee Exarch who survived Ulthwe's failed attack on Angel Forge. When encountered in the second enemy Eldar mission she's attempting to regroup the few survivors and evacuate. If this is the Eldar campaign (at which point Kayleth and company are effectively completing the massacre of [[Idranel]]'s forces for loot; how [[grimdark]]) she'll recognize [[Ronahn]] before volunteering to become the Avatar of Khaine.

* '''Maledictum Daemon''' - The Khornate Demon which Gabriel Angelos accidentally released on Tartarus a few years back, during the original [[Dawn of War]]. Gabe gets his shit together and goes off to have a showdown with him while he's merged with Kyras. It is totally fucking glorious. Especially when Gabriel gets motherfucking flattened by a two-fisted hammer blow that could have probably squished a Baneblade. He probably dies (as in permanently dead, and yes you can kill a Daemon off for good) with Kyras after the two get decapitated by roks/orbital bombardment/bombers/whatever the fuck you used to finish him off.

* '''Abaddon the Despoiler''' - Serves only to screech angrily and threaten Eliphas to fulfill his promise of delivering all the souls of the Blood Ravens to him but can't actually do anything to him since he lacks arms - luckily for him, Eliphas is completely unaware of Abaddon's "little" problem. After Eliphas wins, he literally squees that Eliphas is awesome, the fickle cunt.

* '''The Mad-mek''' - The boss on the Judgement of Carrion for everyone except the Tyranids, he got stuck on the Space Hulk, went insane from being stuck there, even by Ork standards (assuming they have any) and is currently trying to build a teleporter to get out... by drawing energy from the ''existing'', perfectly functional teleportarium. As he's a paranoid nutcase, he attacks the player and you have to kill him. Mainly famous for his hilarious dialogue, after you escape the Exterminatus of Typhon Primaris you will be introduced to this motherfucking hilarious sonovabitch. He hams it up to epic levels, easily out-hamming the rest of the DoW2 casts combined. "I FINKS IT'LL BE ANNUVER DECADE BEFORE I CAN ZAP MESELF OUT A DIS '''BUG...INFESTED... 'ELL 'OLE!!!!!!'''" Can be very annoying to fight because he has a tendency to teleport units in melee with him out of the room you fight him in when they get into melee, meaning he takes a while to kill and has no trouble putting rokkits in your tanks. Dies in seconds to dreadnoughts.

* '''Jonah Orion''' - Playable only in the campaign prologue. Also gets double-hammered along with Angelos. Though in the SM campaign, while Gabriel survives, Jonah, lacking the ridiculous levels of Plot Armor Gabriel has, follows the age-old tradition of "the black dude dies first".

* '''Commander McTavish''' - Name based after Graham McTavish due to the fact they they sound very alike. Has a Scottish accent and red glowing eyes indicating that he is corrupted by chaos. He chases the players with a Baneblade in one of the first missions, leading to many shat pants. When he finally gets the players cornered, the players hack into the defensive weapons and blow the baneblade into smoldering ash.

* '''The Traitor Sergeant''' - The sergeant who led the traitor guard on Meridian. He glorifies [[Khorne|Corn]] and spams air support.

* '''The Traitor commander in a Banewolf''' - An Imperial Guard commander who turned into a [[Nurgle]] cultist after he and the overwhelming majority of his regiment was corrupted by Ulkair. He has a pretty decent VA, though not very Nurgle-ish.

* Those three Space Marines who have British accents for some reason - Undoubtedly the best VA'd characters in the game. These 2 renegade marines and 1 Chaos Space Marine have well done accents. Likely the only link to the fact that Games Workshop is a BLEEDING BRITISH COMPANY. They are also well characterized by being able to scream Blood for the Blood God better than any body else.

* '''Davian Thule''' - OK, he doesn't have a major role in Retribution, in fact he's only seen in the early part of the campaign as Chaos. Though some suspect that it's him going Toe-to-Toe with a Chaos Dreadnought in the Tutorial Mission.

* '''Ulthwe [[Warp Spider]] [[Exarch]]''' - Tasked with organizing the defense of the Seer Council while they maintain the ritual blinding the [[Exterminatus]] fleet to the plans of Kyras. He fails, the Seer Council is massacred, and Kyras' ambitions are brought to completion.
During the [[Eldar]] campaign he walks Kayleth and her command into an ambush in an attempt to prevent them from fulfilling a prophecy that they will allow the rise of Kyras and send millions of souls into the maw of She Who Thirsts.
Kayleth and her allies are similarly concerned with a prophecy about the ritual -who's purpose they're ignorant of- that says it will lead to the destruction of the lost soulstones they've come to retrieve.
In one of the defter handling of events in any [[Dawn of War]] title two groups of [[Eldar]] work at cross-purposes despite similar motivations and end up making both prophecies true in the worst ways.

==[[Last Stand]]==
Just before the release of Chaos Rising, Dawn of War 2 updated with a new game mode, as did the successor game, Dawn of War 2: Retribution. This new game mode, [[Last Stand]] is a fun co-op game mode where you play as one hero from any of the existing six factions (specifically, the Space Marine Captain, Tyranid Hive Tyrant, Chaos Sorcerer, Ork Mekboy, and Eldar Farseer. Retribution further adds the Imperial Lord General, a new Last Stand map, and two DLC-only heroes: the Tau Commander and the Necron Overlord.

It's remarkably competent and a lot of fun to play with friends, and definitely worth checking out.

==Multiplayer==
[[File:DOW2Guide.jpg|thumb|right|A Synopsis in Comic Form]]

Whilst Dawn of War 2's myriad Single-Player campaigns and [[Last Stand]] mode are generally-beloved by the playerbase, for their plot and characterization, and Last Stand's raw fun-factor, the same ''cannot'' be said of Dawn of War 2's multiplayer, which is horribly reviled by much of the playerbase for being both counter-intuitive, non-interactive, and poorly-designed. Boasting a general setup virtually identical to Relic's World War II RTS Company of Heroes, Dawn of War II's multiplayer starts off strong - multiple heroes, and some (apparent) real tactical choices for each faction - and quickly slides downhill.

The central mechanic of Dawn of War 2 is capturing points, much as was the case in its [[Dawn of War|predecessor]]. Unlike the original, however, Dawn of War 2's smaller scale and extremely slow econ-building means that the bulk of Dawn of War 2 is focused around a much smaller group of units - and these magic buttons, once taken, cannot be reinforced or made harder to take by building structures or guns on it, like Dawn of War 1 - and worse, with most defense structures costing population and resources in a game with few to spare, you cannot afford to use these on any but the most-critical of the magic buttons: the Victory Points. This frequently means that games between newbies to DOW2 frequently turn into merry-go-round battles as everyone tries to take everyone else's magic buttons, only to lose theirs and need to capture it again. The comp opponents, even on the hardest difficulties, are well-known for being willing to foster this behavior, and [[Meme|will sooner die than allow a magic button to go un-humped]].

One might think that this metagame design means that securing and holding terrain would be of critical importance, something that was true in the Tabletop 40K game for Table Quarters or Objective games. If this is what you thought, then you ''thought like an idiot'', because if you don't keep your units grouped for maximum firepower, you can expect to lose them in short order - and with their expense and time involved replacing them, you ''cannot'' afford to lose them. Because of this, scouting, securing better terrain, and pretty much all else fall secondary to getting a big ol' cluster of early game units, moving for the magic button closest to the enemy, and (hopefully) killing their force group, ergo putting them in an utterly-unrecoverable-from situation where you already hold most of the map and they can do nothing but watch their tickets slowly bleed away. Most games of Dawn of War 2's multiplayer decisively end in about 4 minutes specifically because of this gameplay mechanic. Because of the entire metagame slowly pulling itself into this bizarre paradigm, DOW2's Multiplayer comes across as remarkably one-dimensional, since it's rare that high-level games make it beyond Tier 2 - they turn into complete curb-stomps. The ones that don't quickly devolve into the Merry-Go-Round.

Special note needs to be made for the Retreat mechanic. Intended to allow players who are risking losing units to remove them from battle so they can recover back at base, it's an incredibly finicky mechanic that is nigh-impossible for slower and larger commanders to get much use out of if they really start getting pounded while making it all but impossible to completely wipe out a squad. In practice, it just slows down a game which already has a painfully poor pace. With every game de-volving into either a curb-stomp or the merry-go-round, the Retreat mechanic is only one more bit of strangeness further diluting a game whose mechanics already defy comprehension.

To further drive home how bad this game's general premise is, [http://forums.relicnews.com/showthread.php?219250-1v1-Balance-thread the central focus of the metagame is not 1v1s, but, in fact, 3v3 team battles]. This setup has allowed the devs to get incredibly lazy with setups, since [[RAGE|no race actually needs to be self-sufficient in a strategy game where this sort of thing is supposed to be a critical element]].

==Resurrection==
{{main|Dawn of War III}}
With THQ going under, and Sega scooping up the license, there were questions what this would mean for DOW2, since the original game's and Chaos Rising's servers were being allowed to expire. What no one expected was they're actually being allowed to resume ''full support'' for DOW2, and with that [[Furry|Faggot]] Johnny Ebbert gone, this has every possibility of being [[Awesome]]. (Not [[grimdark]] enough)

You can read all about it [http://steamcommunity.com/games/DawnofWarDarkCrusade/announcements/detail/1658761639946053463 here].

It appears that for the moment they're focusing on porting the multiplayer for vDoW2 and CR off of GFWL and onto Steam, but we can't rule out the possibility of larger additions later on yet.

[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]
[[Category:Dawn of War]]

It [http://www.pcgamer.com/dawn-of-war-3-domain-registered/ now seems] there is hope for a third game in the series.

The [[Dawn of War III|third one]] now has a trailer, grab your bolters and prepare for WAAAGH! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_ZgyNoHtjw Trailer]

Dawn of War II

2018-02-26T12:20:04Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* Resurrection */

Dawn of War II

2018-02-26T12:19:52Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* Resurrection */

Dawn of War II

2018-02-26T12:17:00Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* Eldar */

Craftworld

2018-02-25T18:54:27Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* Notable Craftworlds and specialties */

{{Infobox 40k Nations
|name=Eldar Craftworlds
|image=[[Image:Ulthwe_Banner_Flag.jpg‎|150px|center]]
|bgcolor=
|fgcolor=
|Capital=None, with [[Alaitoc]], [[Biel-tan]], [[Iyanden]], [[Saim-Hann]], [[Ulthwe]] notable
|Official Languages=Eldar Lexicon
|Power=Minor Power
|Size=Unknown number of surviving Craftworlds
|Head of State=Varies, but [[Farseer|Farseers]] usually prominent
|Head of Government= Varies, but [[Seer Council]] usually prominent
|Governmental Structure= Varies, but Seer Council usually prominent
|State Religion/Ideology= [[Eldar Mythology]]
|Demographic=[[Eldar]]
|Military Force=[[Eldar]] Forces, Eldar Fleet
}}

'''Craftworlds''' are massive, self-sufficient [[Eldar]] vessels, essentially mobile planets made of Wraithbone flying through space.

==History==
[[File:Biel-tan Craftworld.jpg|thumb|left|300px|Craftworld Biel-tan before it [[Ynnead|got shattered]]]]
During the height of the Eldar Empire, the Eldar built the Craftworlds as large merchant ships. Somewhat questionably for traders, they didn't install any sort of [[Webway]] or [[Warp]] drives on the Craftworlds, instead forcing the Craftworlds to travel at sublight speed. Ultimately, this would be to the Eldar's benefit, for the amount of time spent between Eldar worlds allowed the Eldar on the Craftworlds to see just how far their people had [[Fall of the Eldar|fallen into hedonism]]. Realizing that [[Slaanesh|something bad]] would happen soon, the Craftworld Eldar evacuated the Eldar still sane enough to realize how far they'd fallen from their [[Dark Eldar|depraved brethren]], and fled, taking with them the repositories of Eldar history, science, religion, and pre-Fall culture.
[[File: The_Great_Exodus.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Wait a minute doesn’t the landmass on that planet look kind of like the Isle of Ulthuan… nah must be Just a coincidence.]]
[[File: Craftworld-Theminarae.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Craftworld crashes into a planet (Will of Iron comics). Damn these suckers are big.]]

Unfortunately, not all of them made it out of the Segmentum Obscurus in time, and many of the Craftworlds were caught in the creation of the [[Eye of Terror]] just as the hedonists were. So [[grimdark]]. One interesting note is that Khaine, for some reason, specifically manifested on the Craftworlds, as opposed to the Exodite Worlds or Commorragh, instead his Avatars emerged at the heart of every Craftworld in the Galaxy.

Following their initial expulsion the next major event in their history was the foundation of the Path System by which they live their lives, a regimented and sharply controlled social system designed to curtail their inherent impulses and emotional strengths. The foundation for this system is usually credited to Asurmen, first of the Phoenix Lords, who traveled to every Craftworld to both impart to them the Path System, as well as to begin the creation of the Aspect Warrior Shrines. Shortly after this the Great Crusade began and numerous Craftworlds were hunted down and destroyed by the Imperium as it expanded. Craftworlds have always been fairly quick to destroy targets, and have suffered a high attrition rate despite their meager numbers, with even most of the Primary Craftworlds having been wrecked or reduced to but shadows of their former strength.

Today, the Craftworld Eldar comprise the largest populations of surviving Eldar. They have similar goals in preserving the Eldar, reestablishing their Empire, and fighting [[Chaos]]. However, the Craftworlds often disagree over how to achieve these things. This can lead to small conflicts between the different Craftworlds, but for the most part these are rare.

One should not think of the Craftworlds as a unitary, or even loosely allied, polity, as they are distinctly separate governments and states who do not operate in anyway as a conjoined body. To put it simply; Craftworlds are not a single government, each Craftworld is its own political entity and they do not operate as a combined whole.

==Tabletop==
Back in the third edition of [[Warhammer 40,000]], [[Games Workshop]] released [[Codex]]: Craftworld Eldar, a "mini-dex" expansion booklet for the Eldar codex. It included five army list variants for the craftworlds [[Alaitoc]], [[Biel-Tan]], [[Iyanden]], [[Saim-Hann]], and [[Ulthwe]]. Each Craftworld receives a few unique units, and some receive army-wide special rules, a re-assignment of the available squads between the various categories (Troops, Elites, etc.), or even a different force organization chart. In the later Codex: [[Eye of Terror]] (released for the 2003 "Eye of Terror" summer campaign), Ulthwe got another mini-list for their "Strike Force".

Unfortunately, the Eldar got hit with the "less-is-more" bat in Fourth Edition, so the only difference between the Craftworlds on the tabletop throughout Fourth and Fifth Editions was that they had different colors and symbols. However, with the new Sixth Edition Codex, [[Games Workshop]] has <s>bowed to fan demands</s> seen an opportunity to make more money, and released a codex supplement all about Iyanden (unfortunately, it was written by none other than [[Matt Ward|Your Spiritual Liege]], and it shows). Seventh Edition passed by without any changes, but Eighth Edition is seeing a return of individual Craftworld rules!

==Notable Craftworlds and specialties==
===The Big Five===
:'''[[Craftworld Alaitoc|Alaitoc]]''' -- Follow the Eldar Paths more strictly and therefore have less fun. This leads many to become arrogant outcasts and eventually veteran rangers and pathfinders. They are also archenemies of the [[Necrons]], and fight the zombie-bots on a constant basis with [[Eldorath Starbane|little success.]] They are also inept spies and scouts, and have unintentionally provided the Imperium with almost all its information on the Craftworlds, due to their agents being captured.
:'''[[Craftworld Biel-tan|Biel-tan]]''' -- Formerly the most powerful of the Craftworlds, Biel-Tan was fractured during the birth of [[Ynnead]], losing half is population and putting it on the same path as Iyanden it seems. However, the remaining half have remained loyal to the Craftworld, still operating in an organized manner, and seeking to defend their damaged Craftworld rather than abandon it, the Craftworld itself is as a result still functioning (albeit badly damaged). When it was a fully functioning Craftworld, the Eldar of Biel-Tan were characterised by their wish to reclaim the old Empire of the Eldar before it [[Slaanesh|got screwed over]]. Almost everyone was arrogantly [[Aspect Warrior|warring]] with [[Human|the]] [[Ork|lesser]] [[Tau|races]]. They wanted to rebuild the Eldar Empire, and believed anyone else who even touched a Maiden World were squatters to be removed. This Craftworld was notable for being even ''more'' arrogant than most other Eldar. Even other Eldar had difficulty dealing with them. Biel-Tan was fiercely protective of Exodite and Maiden worlds, and was known to reserve a special hatred for [[Orks]], who are especially hard to exterminate from any planet they've managed to get a foothold on. In the original [[Dawn of War]], [[Macha]] was from Biel-Tan, and still is according to Dawn of War III (although current /tg/ canon suggests she spends much of her time on Ulthwé, due to Biel-Tan's lesser respect for Farseers). Now but a fleeting shadow of what they once were, Biel-tan has nonetheless retained its militaristic bent.
:'''[[Craftworld Iyanden|Iyanden]]''' -- It used to be the largest Craftworld, but then it got [[Tyranid|OM NOM NOM NOM'd]] so almost everyone is [[Wraithlord|dead]]. Fields lots of Wraith-units to make up for the whole "barely anyone left alive" thing. Known for their Spiritseers, necessary for an army like theirs, and for being the most frequently invaded Craftworld by far. A constantly diminishing Craftworld.
:'''[[Craftworld Saim-Hann|Saim-Hann]]''' -- Jetbikes all day eeveerrydaaay. Considered barbarians by some other Craftworlds, it is one of the least involved Craftworlds, rarely becoming caught up in events in the Galaxy. It does not change the fact that when they do interfere, the end result is still [[FAIL]]. Recently, the Craftworld sufefred from a daemon invasion as a result of the Great Rift's formation (alongside all the other Craftworlds apparently, *sigh*) which resulted in a whole corrupted section having to be shed from the vessel - the inhabitants of which allegedly turned into horrible tentacle daemon thingies.
:'''[[Craftworld Ulthwé|Ulthwé]]''' -- They're a few inches away from [[Eye of Terror|the bleeding asshole of reality]] (which is why it's nicknamed "Ulthwé the Damned") so everyone is extensively trained for war, even the regular Guardians, who are called "Black Guardians", and Seers are heavily emphasized. Also, this is where [[Eldrad|that dick]] was born. Also home to [[Caerys]], [[Idranel]], and [[Taldeer]] from the [[Dawn of War]] series.

===All the others===
====Still Active====
:'''Altansar''' -- The home of [[Phoenix Lord]] [[Phoenix_Lord#Maugan_Ra|Maugan Ra]]. Once thought lost in the [[Warp]], Maugan Ra managed to find them and guide them out. Not very liked by the other Eldar, because they (rightfully) think that nothing can remain untouched by the Warp. But don't mention that around Ra if you want to avoid [[DOOM: Repercussions of Evil|repercussions.]] The only Craftworld, so far, to seemingly have completely joined the [[Ynnari]].
:'''Black Library''' -- Described as a Craftworld that exists wholly within the Webway. Not much is known about its structure or politics, other than that it houses an unparalleled archive on the secrets of the galaxy, including the origins of Chaos. Is protected by dread sentinels called the White Guardians, and only [[Harlequins]] ''(and the rare human Inquisitor)'' have the freedom to study here.
:'''Ctho''' -- Another "lost" Craftworld.
:'''Dorhai''' -- An isolationist Craftworld that see themselves as the sole untainted survivors of the Fall, so refuse to deal with outsiders. ''Similar to Kaelor''
:'''Il-Kaithe''' -- On an eternal crusade against Chaos, they are unusual in that they take their [[Bonesinger]]s into battle.
:'''Iybraesil''' -- A [[Drow|matriarchal]] society that likely employs large numbers of Howling Banshees. They have a great interest in the [[Crone World]]s.
:'''Kaelor''' -- Paranoid isolationists, even amongst Eldar. Consider all of the other Craftworlds to be tainted in some manner, and so avoid contact, so they get ignored, though we know them to be tainted by association with [[C.S Goto]], so we ignore them. Notable for their influence over the [[Rogue Trader (RPG)|Jericho Reach]] and the fact their community cleaves to the old system of noble houses, so aspect shrines owe allegiance to nobles rather then the Craftworld as a whole.
:'''Kinshara''' -- Not much is known, other than this was home to a magnificent weaponsmith. The story goes that [[Maugan Ra]] kidnapped this smith and forced him to teach the Phoenix Lord everything he knew about weaponcrafting in order to manufacture the '''Maugetar'''. The Phoenix Lord was so pleased with the weapon that he mutilated the smith, [[Grimdark|cutting off his hands, tongue, and eyes so that he would never make a weapon to equal this creation.]]
:'''Lugganath''' -- BFFs with the [[Harlequin]]s, they think that the Galaxy has gone down the crapper (no shit, Sherlock) and want to start anew in the Webway after ridding it of the Dark Eldar (which is not likely to happen). To do this, they're trying to find a Craftworld-sized webway portal.
:'''Mero''' -- Sometimes referred to as "Meros". Only known to be a doomed Craftworld.
:'''Mymeara''' -- Has an [[Imperial Armour]] book named after them detailing their fall from planet to Craftworld. Also home to the [[Phoenix Lord]] Irilyth and the Shadow Spectre [[Aspect Warriors]]. Had their asses kicked by [[Space Wolves]].
:'''Yme-Loc''' -- [[Munchkin]] motherfuckers who spam grav-tanks and [[Titans 40k|Titans]] in battle. Unluckily for them, the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] made off with several of their toys after kicking their asses.

====Ruined====
:'''Idharae''' -- Teamed up with Malan'tai and Alaitoc to fight Tyranids before Malan'tai got Doomed, then got themselves destroyed by the Invaders Space Marines. The Invaders also had the help of the Legion of the Damned. The Invaders also only attempted to attack after the craftworld had just fought off Hive Fleet Naga and was still in a weak position.
:'''Kher-Ys''' -- Destroyed by a [[Slaanesh]]i daemon incursion. Oh, and a [[Keeper of Secrets]] possessed their [[Khaela Mensha Khaine|Avatar]] during the fighting, you can imagine how much <s>proverbial</s> buttrape happened there. Sidenote: the whole story is a 40k version of the Breton legend of the sunken city of Ys[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ys] (''Kêr-Is'').
:'''Lu'Nasad''': A craftworld that tried to escape The Fall by using the webway to find a safe refuge in realspace. After unlocking a sealed craftworld-sized webway gate, they passed through...to find themselves in a warp/realspace interstice known by the Imperium as the Rifts of Hecaton. The primary Mcguffin of [[Rogue Trader (RPG)|FFG's Warpstorm Trilogy]] adventures.
:'''Malan'tai''' -- Got LOLDRAIN'D by a unique [[Zoanthrope]] who feeds off psychic energy. Needless to say, after it devoured the souls on the Craftworld's [[Infinity Circuit]], things went very bad for them. Are now extinct. The [[Grey Knights]] under the command of [[Anval Thawn]] went and saved the remaining soulstones from a Keeper of Secrets and were [[Matt Ward|uncharacteristically]] generous enough to give them back to the Eldar.
:'''Sethowyan''' -- The master of this Craftworld was slain by Daylight, from the Imperial Fists. The exact time is unknown, but prior to the War of the Beast.
:'''Thuyelsa''' -- Destroyed by [[Space Wolves]] and the [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Army]] at some point before the Burning of [[Prospero]]. The Army soldiers called it 'Scintilla City' because of the way it sparkled.
:'''Zandros''' -- Only mentioned twice, once as the home to a unique warrior aspect called the '''Slicing Orbs'''. The second time as the site of a duel between [[Karandras]] and [[Arhra]] throughout its shattered ruins and over the shrine of the aforementioned aspect warriors.

==/tg/ made Craftworlds==
*[[Craftworld Eonhar]]
*[[Craftworld Aylis-Nasturcane]]

==Gallery==
<Gallery>
File:Iyanden.jpg|
File:Iyanden.2.jpg|
File:Craftworld.scale.jpg|
File:Dome-interior-.jpg|
File:Eldar_Craftworld.png|
File:Craftworld.under-attack.jpg|
</Gallery>
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Eldar]][[Category:Wraithbone]]

{{Template:40k-Governments}}

Craftworld

2018-02-25T18:53:34Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* Notable Craftworlds and specialties */

{{Infobox 40k Nations
|name=Eldar Craftworlds
|image=[[Image:Ulthwe_Banner_Flag.jpg‎|150px|center]]
|bgcolor=
|fgcolor=
|Capital=None, with [[Alaitoc]], [[Biel-tan]], [[Iyanden]], [[Saim-Hann]], [[Ulthwe]] notable
|Official Languages=Eldar Lexicon
|Power=Minor Power
|Size=Unknown number of surviving Craftworlds
|Head of State=Varies, but [[Farseer|Farseers]] usually prominent
|Head of Government= Varies, but [[Seer Council]] usually prominent
|Governmental Structure= Varies, but Seer Council usually prominent
|State Religion/Ideology= [[Eldar Mythology]]
|Demographic=[[Eldar]]
|Military Force=[[Eldar]] Forces, Eldar Fleet
}}

'''Craftworlds''' are massive, self-sufficient [[Eldar]] vessels, essentially mobile planets made of Wraithbone flying through space.

==History==
[[File:Biel-tan Craftworld.jpg|thumb|left|300px|Craftworld Biel-tan before it [[Ynnead|got shattered]]]]
During the height of the Eldar Empire, the Eldar built the Craftworlds as large merchant ships. Somewhat questionably for traders, they didn't install any sort of [[Webway]] or [[Warp]] drives on the Craftworlds, instead forcing the Craftworlds to travel at sublight speed. Ultimately, this would be to the Eldar's benefit, for the amount of time spent between Eldar worlds allowed the Eldar on the Craftworlds to see just how far their people had [[Fall of the Eldar|fallen into hedonism]]. Realizing that [[Slaanesh|something bad]] would happen soon, the Craftworld Eldar evacuated the Eldar still sane enough to realize how far they'd fallen from their [[Dark Eldar|depraved brethren]], and fled, taking with them the repositories of Eldar history, science, religion, and pre-Fall culture.
[[File: The_Great_Exodus.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Wait a minute doesn’t the landmass on that planet look kind of like the Isle of Ulthuan… nah must be Just a coincidence.]]
[[File: Craftworld-Theminarae.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Craftworld crashes into a planet (Will of Iron comics). Damn these suckers are big.]]

Unfortunately, not all of them made it out of the Segmentum Obscurus in time, and many of the Craftworlds were caught in the creation of the [[Eye of Terror]] just as the hedonists were. So [[grimdark]]. One interesting note is that Khaine, for some reason, specifically manifested on the Craftworlds, as opposed to the Exodite Worlds or Commorragh, instead his Avatars emerged at the heart of every Craftworld in the Galaxy.

Following their initial expulsion the next major event in their history was the foundation of the Path System by which they live their lives, a regimented and sharply controlled social system designed to curtail their inherent impulses and emotional strengths. The foundation for this system is usually credited to Asurmen, first of the Phoenix Lords, who traveled to every Craftworld to both impart to them the Path System, as well as to begin the creation of the Aspect Warrior Shrines. Shortly after this the Great Crusade began and numerous Craftworlds were hunted down and destroyed by the Imperium as it expanded. Craftworlds have always been fairly quick to destroy targets, and have suffered a high attrition rate despite their meager numbers, with even most of the Primary Craftworlds having been wrecked or reduced to but shadows of their former strength.

Today, the Craftworld Eldar comprise the largest populations of surviving Eldar. They have similar goals in preserving the Eldar, reestablishing their Empire, and fighting [[Chaos]]. However, the Craftworlds often disagree over how to achieve these things. This can lead to small conflicts between the different Craftworlds, but for the most part these are rare.

One should not think of the Craftworlds as a unitary, or even loosely allied, polity, as they are distinctly separate governments and states who do not operate in anyway as a conjoined body. To put it simply; Craftworlds are not a single government, each Craftworld is its own political entity and they do not operate as a combined whole.

==Tabletop==
Back in the third edition of [[Warhammer 40,000]], [[Games Workshop]] released [[Codex]]: Craftworld Eldar, a "mini-dex" expansion booklet for the Eldar codex. It included five army list variants for the craftworlds [[Alaitoc]], [[Biel-Tan]], [[Iyanden]], [[Saim-Hann]], and [[Ulthwe]]. Each Craftworld receives a few unique units, and some receive army-wide special rules, a re-assignment of the available squads between the various categories (Troops, Elites, etc.), or even a different force organization chart. In the later Codex: [[Eye of Terror]] (released for the 2003 "Eye of Terror" summer campaign), Ulthwe got another mini-list for their "Strike Force".

Unfortunately, the Eldar got hit with the "less-is-more" bat in Fourth Edition, so the only difference between the Craftworlds on the tabletop throughout Fourth and Fifth Editions was that they had different colors and symbols. However, with the new Sixth Edition Codex, [[Games Workshop]] has <s>bowed to fan demands</s> seen an opportunity to make more money, and released a codex supplement all about Iyanden (unfortunately, it was written by none other than [[Matt Ward|Your Spiritual Liege]], and it shows). Seventh Edition passed by without any changes, but Eighth Edition is seeing a return of individual Craftworld rules!

==Notable Craftworlds and specialties==
===The Big Five===
:'''[[Craftworld Alaitoc|Alaitoc]]''' -- Follow the Eldar Paths more strictly and therefore have less fun. This leads many to become arrogant outcasts and eventually veteran rangers and pathfinders. They are also archenemies of the [[Necrons]], and fight the zombie-bots on a constant basis with [[Eldorath Starbane|little success.]] They are also inept spies and scouts, and have unintentionally provided the Imperium with almost all its information on the Craftworlds, due to their agents being captured.
:'''[[Craftworld Biel-tan|Biel-tan]]''' -- Formerly the most powerful of the Craftworlds, Biel-Tan was fractured during the birth of [[Ynnead]], losing half is population and putting it on the same path as Iyanden it seems. However, the remaining half have remained loyal to the Craftworld, still operating in an organized manner, and seeking to defend their damaged Craftworld rather than abandon it, the Craftworld itself is as a result still functioning (albeit badly damaged). When it was a fully functioning Craftworld, the Eldar of Biel-Tan were characterised by their wish to reclaim the old Empire of the Eldar before it [[Slaanesh|got screwed over]]. Almost everyone was arrogantly [[Aspect Warrior|warring]] with [[Human|the]] [[Ork|lesser]] [[Tau|races]]. They wanted to rebuild the Eldar Empire, and believed anyone else who even touched a Maiden World were squatters to be removed. This Craftworld was notable for being even ''more'' arrogant than most other Eldar. Even other Eldar had difficulty dealing with them. Biel-Tan was fiercely protective of Exodite and Maiden worlds, and was known to reserve a special hatred for [[Orks]], who are especially hard to exterminate from any planet they've managed to get a foothold on. In the original [[Dawn of War]], [[Macha]] was from Biel-Tan, and still is according to Dawn of War III (although current /tg/ canon suggests she spends much of her time on Ulthwé, due to Biel-Tan's lesser respect for Farseers). Now but a fleeting shadow of what they once were, Biel-tan has nonetheless retained its militaristic bent.
:'''[[Craftworld Iyanden|Iyanden]]''' -- It used to be the largest Craftworld, but then it got [[Tyranid|OM NOM NOM NOM'd]] so almost everyone is [[Wraithlord|dead]]. Fields lots of Wraith-units to make up for the whole "barely anyone left alive" thing. Known for their Spiritseers, necessary for an army like theirs, and for being the most frequently invaded Craftworld by far. A constantly diminishing Craftworld.
:'''[[Craftworld Saim-Hann|Saim-Hann]]''' -- Jetbikes all day eeveerrydaaay. Considered barbarians by some other Craftworlds, it is one of the least involved Craftworlds, rarely becoming caught up in events in the Galaxy. It does not change the fact that when they do interfere, the end result is still [[FAIL]]. Recently, the Craftworld sufefred from a daemon invasion as a result of the Cicatrix's formation (alongside all the other Craftworlds apparently, *sigh*) which resulted in a whole corrupted section having to be shed from the vessel - the inhabitants of which allegedly turned into horrible tentacle daemon thingies.
:'''[[Craftworld Ulthwé|Ulthwé]]''' -- They're a few inches away from [[Eye of Terror|the bleeding asshole of reality]] (which is why it's nicknamed "Ulthwé the Damned") so everyone is extensively trained for war, even the regular Guardians, who are called "Black Guardians", and Seers are heavily emphasized. Also, this is where [[Eldrad|that dick]] was born. Also home to [[Caerys]], [[Idranel]], and [[Taldeer]] from the [[Dawn of War]] series.

===All the others===
====Still Active====
:'''Altansar''' -- The home of [[Phoenix Lord]] [[Phoenix_Lord#Maugan_Ra|Maugan Ra]]. Once thought lost in the [[Warp]], Maugan Ra managed to find them and guide them out. Not very liked by the other Eldar, because they (rightfully) think that nothing can remain untouched by the Warp. But don't mention that around Ra if you want to avoid [[DOOM: Repercussions of Evil|repercussions.]] The only Craftworld, so far, to seemingly have completely joined the [[Ynnari]].
:'''Black Library''' -- Described as a Craftworld that exists wholly within the Webway. Not much is known about its structure or politics, other than that it houses an unparalleled archive on the secrets of the galaxy, including the origins of Chaos. Is protected by dread sentinels called the White Guardians, and only [[Harlequins]] ''(and the rare human Inquisitor)'' have the freedom to study here.
:'''Ctho''' -- Another "lost" Craftworld.
:'''Dorhai''' -- An isolationist Craftworld that see themselves as the sole untainted survivors of the Fall, so refuse to deal with outsiders. ''Similar to Kaelor''
:'''Il-Kaithe''' -- On an eternal crusade against Chaos, they are unusual in that they take their [[Bonesinger]]s into battle.
:'''Iybraesil''' -- A [[Drow|matriarchal]] society that likely employs large numbers of Howling Banshees. They have a great interest in the [[Crone World]]s.
:'''Kaelor''' -- Paranoid isolationists, even amongst Eldar. Consider all of the other Craftworlds to be tainted in some manner, and so avoid contact, so they get ignored, though we know them to be tainted by association with [[C.S Goto]], so we ignore them. Notable for their influence over the [[Rogue Trader (RPG)|Jericho Reach]] and the fact their community cleaves to the old system of noble houses, so aspect shrines owe allegiance to nobles rather then the Craftworld as a whole.
:'''Kinshara''' -- Not much is known, other than this was home to a magnificent weaponsmith. The story goes that [[Maugan Ra]] kidnapped this smith and forced him to teach the Phoenix Lord everything he knew about weaponcrafting in order to manufacture the '''Maugetar'''. The Phoenix Lord was so pleased with the weapon that he mutilated the smith, [[Grimdark|cutting off his hands, tongue, and eyes so that he would never make a weapon to equal this creation.]]
:'''Lugganath''' -- BFFs with the [[Harlequin]]s, they think that the Galaxy has gone down the crapper (no shit, Sherlock) and want to start anew in the Webway after ridding it of the Dark Eldar (which is not likely to happen). To do this, they're trying to find a Craftworld-sized webway portal.
:'''Mero''' -- Sometimes referred to as "Meros". Only known to be a doomed Craftworld.
:'''Mymeara''' -- Has an [[Imperial Armour]] book named after them detailing their fall from planet to Craftworld. Also home to the [[Phoenix Lord]] Irilyth and the Shadow Spectre [[Aspect Warriors]]. Had their asses kicked by [[Space Wolves]].
:'''Yme-Loc''' -- [[Munchkin]] motherfuckers who spam grav-tanks and [[Titans 40k|Titans]] in battle. Unluckily for them, the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] made off with several of their toys after kicking their asses.

====Ruined====
:'''Idharae''' -- Teamed up with Malan'tai and Alaitoc to fight Tyranids before Malan'tai got Doomed, then got themselves destroyed by the Invaders Space Marines. The Invaders also had the help of the Legion of the Damned. The Invaders also only attempted to attack after the craftworld had just fought off Hive Fleet Naga and was still in a weak position.
:'''Kher-Ys''' -- Destroyed by a [[Slaanesh]]i daemon incursion. Oh, and a [[Keeper of Secrets]] possessed their [[Khaela Mensha Khaine|Avatar]] during the fighting, you can imagine how much <s>proverbial</s> buttrape happened there. Sidenote: the whole story is a 40k version of the Breton legend of the sunken city of Ys[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ys] (''Kêr-Is'').
:'''Lu'Nasad''': A craftworld that tried to escape The Fall by using the webway to find a safe refuge in realspace. After unlocking a sealed craftworld-sized webway gate, they passed through...to find themselves in a warp/realspace interstice known by the Imperium as the Rifts of Hecaton. The primary Mcguffin of [[Rogue Trader (RPG)|FFG's Warpstorm Trilogy]] adventures.
:'''Malan'tai''' -- Got LOLDRAIN'D by a unique [[Zoanthrope]] who feeds off psychic energy. Needless to say, after it devoured the souls on the Craftworld's [[Infinity Circuit]], things went very bad for them. Are now extinct. The [[Grey Knights]] under the command of [[Anval Thawn]] went and saved the remaining soulstones from a Keeper of Secrets and were [[Matt Ward|uncharacteristically]] generous enough to give them back to the Eldar.
:'''Sethowyan''' -- The master of this Craftworld was slain by Daylight, from the Imperial Fists. The exact time is unknown, but prior to the War of the Beast.
:'''Thuyelsa''' -- Destroyed by [[Space Wolves]] and the [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Army]] at some point before the Burning of [[Prospero]]. The Army soldiers called it 'Scintilla City' because of the way it sparkled.
:'''Zandros''' -- Only mentioned twice, once as the home to a unique warrior aspect called the '''Slicing Orbs'''. The second time as the site of a duel between [[Karandras]] and [[Arhra]] throughout its shattered ruins and over the shrine of the aforementioned aspect warriors.

==/tg/ made Craftworlds==
*[[Craftworld Eonhar]]
*[[Craftworld Aylis-Nasturcane]]

==Gallery==
<Gallery>
File:Iyanden.jpg|
File:Iyanden.2.jpg|
File:Craftworld.scale.jpg|
File:Dome-interior-.jpg|
File:Eldar_Craftworld.png|
File:Craftworld.under-attack.jpg|
</Gallery>
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Eldar]][[Category:Wraithbone]]

{{Template:40k-Governments}}

Craftworld

2018-02-25T18:49:06Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* Notable Craftworlds and specialties */

{{Infobox 40k Nations
|name=Eldar Craftworlds
|image=[[Image:Ulthwe_Banner_Flag.jpg‎|150px|center]]
|bgcolor=
|fgcolor=
|Capital=None, with [[Alaitoc]], [[Biel-tan]], [[Iyanden]], [[Saim-Hann]], [[Ulthwe]] notable
|Official Languages=Eldar Lexicon
|Power=Minor Power
|Size=Unknown number of surviving Craftworlds
|Head of State=Varies, but [[Farseer|Farseers]] usually prominent
|Head of Government= Varies, but [[Seer Council]] usually prominent
|Governmental Structure= Varies, but Seer Council usually prominent
|State Religion/Ideology= [[Eldar Mythology]]
|Demographic=[[Eldar]]
|Military Force=[[Eldar]] Forces, Eldar Fleet
}}

'''Craftworlds''' are massive, self-sufficient [[Eldar]] vessels, essentially mobile planets made of Wraithbone flying through space.

==History==
[[File:Biel-tan Craftworld.jpg|thumb|left|300px|Craftworld Biel-tan before it [[Ynnead|got shattered]]]]
During the height of the Eldar Empire, the Eldar built the Craftworlds as large merchant ships. Somewhat questionably for traders, they didn't install any sort of [[Webway]] or [[Warp]] drives on the Craftworlds, instead forcing the Craftworlds to travel at sublight speed. Ultimately, this would be to the Eldar's benefit, for the amount of time spent between Eldar worlds allowed the Eldar on the Craftworlds to see just how far their people had [[Fall of the Eldar|fallen into hedonism]]. Realizing that [[Slaanesh|something bad]] would happen soon, the Craftworld Eldar evacuated the Eldar still sane enough to realize how far they'd fallen from their [[Dark Eldar|depraved brethren]], and fled, taking with them the repositories of Eldar history, science, religion, and pre-Fall culture.
[[File: The_Great_Exodus.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Wait a minute doesn’t the landmass on that planet look kind of like the Isle of Ulthuan… nah must be Just a coincidence.]]
[[File: Craftworld-Theminarae.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Craftworld crashes into a planet (Will of Iron comics). Damn these suckers are big.]]

Unfortunately, not all of them made it out of the Segmentum Obscurus in time, and many of the Craftworlds were caught in the creation of the [[Eye of Terror]] just as the hedonists were. So [[grimdark]]. One interesting note is that Khaine, for some reason, specifically manifested on the Craftworlds, as opposed to the Exodite Worlds or Commorragh, instead his Avatars emerged at the heart of every Craftworld in the Galaxy.

Following their initial expulsion the next major event in their history was the foundation of the Path System by which they live their lives, a regimented and sharply controlled social system designed to curtail their inherent impulses and emotional strengths. The foundation for this system is usually credited to Asurmen, first of the Phoenix Lords, who traveled to every Craftworld to both impart to them the Path System, as well as to begin the creation of the Aspect Warrior Shrines. Shortly after this the Great Crusade began and numerous Craftworlds were hunted down and destroyed by the Imperium as it expanded. Craftworlds have always been fairly quick to destroy targets, and have suffered a high attrition rate despite their meager numbers, with even most of the Primary Craftworlds having been wrecked or reduced to but shadows of their former strength.

Today, the Craftworld Eldar comprise the largest populations of surviving Eldar. They have similar goals in preserving the Eldar, reestablishing their Empire, and fighting [[Chaos]]. However, the Craftworlds often disagree over how to achieve these things. This can lead to small conflicts between the different Craftworlds, but for the most part these are rare.

One should not think of the Craftworlds as a unitary, or even loosely allied, polity, as they are distinctly separate governments and states who do not operate in anyway as a conjoined body. To put it simply; Craftworlds are not a single government, each Craftworld is its own political entity and they do not operate as a combined whole.

==Tabletop==
Back in the third edition of [[Warhammer 40,000]], [[Games Workshop]] released [[Codex]]: Craftworld Eldar, a "mini-dex" expansion booklet for the Eldar codex. It included five army list variants for the craftworlds [[Alaitoc]], [[Biel-Tan]], [[Iyanden]], [[Saim-Hann]], and [[Ulthwe]]. Each Craftworld receives a few unique units, and some receive army-wide special rules, a re-assignment of the available squads between the various categories (Troops, Elites, etc.), or even a different force organization chart. In the later Codex: [[Eye of Terror]] (released for the 2003 "Eye of Terror" summer campaign), Ulthwe got another mini-list for their "Strike Force".

Unfortunately, the Eldar got hit with the "less-is-more" bat in Fourth Edition, so the only difference between the Craftworlds on the tabletop throughout Fourth and Fifth Editions was that they had different colors and symbols. However, with the new Sixth Edition Codex, [[Games Workshop]] has <s>bowed to fan demands</s> seen an opportunity to make more money, and released a codex supplement all about Iyanden (unfortunately, it was written by none other than [[Matt Ward|Your Spiritual Liege]], and it shows). Seventh Edition passed by without any changes, but Eighth Edition is seeing a return of individual Craftworld rules!

==Notable Craftworlds and specialties==
===The Big Five===
:'''[[Craftworld Alaitoc|Alaitoc]]''' -- Follow the Eldar Paths more strictly and therefore have less fun. This leads many to become arrogant outcasts and eventually veteran rangers and pathfinders. They are also archenemies of the [[Necrons]], and fight the zombie-bots on a constant basis with [[Eldorath Starbane|little success.]] They are also inept spies and scouts, and have unintentionally provided the Imperium with almost all its information on the Craftworlds, due to their agents being captured.
:'''[[Craftworld Biel-tan|Biel-tan]]''' -- Formerly the most powerful of the Craftworlds, Biel-Tan was fractured during the birth of [[Ynnead]], losing half is population and putting it on the same path as Iyanden it seems. However, the remaining half have remained loyal to the Craftworld, still operating in an organized manner, and seeking to defend their damaged Craftworld rather than abandon it, the Craftworld itself is as a result still functioning (albeit badly damaged). When it was a fully functioning Craftworld, the Eldar of Biel-Tan were characterised by their wish to reclaim the old Empire of the Eldar before it [[Slaanesh|got screwed over]]. Almost everyone was arrogantly [[Aspect Warrior|warring]] with [[Human|the]] [[Ork|lesser]] [[Tau|races]]. They wanted to rebuild the Eldar Empire, and believed anyone else who even touched a Maiden World were squatters to be removed. This Craftworld was notable for being even ''more'' arrogant than most other Eldar. Even other Eldar had difficulty dealing with them. Biel-Tan was fiercely protective of Exodite and Maiden worlds, and was known to reserve a special hatred for [[Orks]], who are especially hard to exterminate from any planet they've managed to get a foothold on. In the original [[Dawn of War]], [[Macha]] was from Biel-Tan, and still is according to Dawn of War III (although current /tg/ canon suggests she spends much of her time on Ulthwé, due to Biel-Tan's lesser respect for Farseers). Now but a fleeting shadow of what they once were, Biel-tan has nonetheless retained its militaristic bent.
:'''[[Craftworld Iyanden|Iyanden]]''' -- It used to be the largest Craftworld, but then it got [[Tyranid|OM NOM NOM NOM'd]] so almost everyone is [[Wraithlord|dead]]. Fields lots of Wraith-units to make up for the whole "barely anyone left alive" thing. Known for their Spiritseers, necessary for an army like theirs, and for being the most frequently invaded Craftworld by far. A constantly diminishing Craftworld.
:'''[[Craftworld Saim-Hann|Saim-Hann]]''' -- Jetbikes all day eeveerrydaaay. Considered barbarians by some other Craftworlds, it is one of the least involved Craftworlds, rarely becoming caught up in events in the Galaxy. It does not change the fact that when they do interfere, the end result is still [[FAIL]].
:'''[[Craftworld Ulthwé|Ulthwé]]''' -- They're a few inches away from [[Eye of Terror|the bleeding asshole of reality]] (which is why it's nicknamed "Ulthwé the Damned") so everyone is extensively trained for war, even the regular Guardians, who are called "Black Guardians", and Seers are heavily emphasized. Also, this is where [[Eldrad|that dick]] was born. Also home to [[Caerys]], [[Idranel]], and [[Taldeer]] from the [[Dawn of War]] series.

===All the others===
====Still Active====
:'''Altansar''' -- The home of [[Phoenix Lord]] [[Phoenix_Lord#Maugan_Ra|Maugan Ra]]. Once thought lost in the [[Warp]], Maugan Ra managed to find them and guide them out. Not very liked by the other Eldar, because they (rightfully) think that nothing can remain untouched by the Warp. But don't mention that around Ra if you want to avoid [[DOOM: Repercussions of Evil|repercussions.]] The only Craftworld, so far, to seemingly have completely joined the [[Ynnari]].
:'''Black Library''' -- Described as a Craftworld that exists wholly within the Webway. Not much is known about its structure or politics, other than that it houses an unparalleled archive on the secrets of the galaxy, including the origins of Chaos. Is protected by dread sentinels called the White Guardians, and only [[Harlequins]] ''(and the rare human Inquisitor)'' have the freedom to study here.
:'''Ctho''' -- Another "lost" Craftworld.
:'''Dorhai''' -- An isolationist Craftworld that see themselves as the sole untainted survivors of the Fall, so refuse to deal with outsiders. ''Similar to Kaelor''
:'''Il-Kaithe''' -- On an eternal crusade against Chaos, they are unusual in that they take their [[Bonesinger]]s into battle.
:'''Iybraesil''' -- A [[Drow|matriarchal]] society that likely employs large numbers of Howling Banshees. They have a great interest in the [[Crone World]]s.
:'''Kaelor''' -- Paranoid isolationists, even amongst Eldar. Consider all of the other Craftworlds to be tainted in some manner, and so avoid contact, so they get ignored, though we know them to be tainted by association with [[C.S Goto]], so we ignore them. Notable for their influence over the [[Rogue Trader (RPG)|Jericho Reach]] and the fact their community cleaves to the old system of noble houses, so aspect shrines owe allegiance to nobles rather then the Craftworld as a whole.
:'''Kinshara''' -- Not much is known, other than this was home to a magnificent weaponsmith. The story goes that [[Maugan Ra]] kidnapped this smith and forced him to teach the Phoenix Lord everything he knew about weaponcrafting in order to manufacture the '''Maugetar'''. The Phoenix Lord was so pleased with the weapon that he mutilated the smith, [[Grimdark|cutting off his hands, tongue, and eyes so that he would never make a weapon to equal this creation.]]
:'''Lugganath''' -- BFFs with the [[Harlequin]]s, they think that the Galaxy has gone down the crapper (no shit, Sherlock) and want to start anew in the Webway after ridding it of the Dark Eldar (which is not likely to happen). To do this, they're trying to find a Craftworld-sized webway portal.
:'''Mero''' -- Sometimes referred to as "Meros". Only known to be a doomed Craftworld.
:'''Mymeara''' -- Has an [[Imperial Armour]] book named after them detailing their fall from planet to Craftworld. Also home to the [[Phoenix Lord]] Irilyth and the Shadow Spectre [[Aspect Warriors]]. Had their asses kicked by [[Space Wolves]].
:'''Yme-Loc''' -- [[Munchkin]] motherfuckers who spam grav-tanks and [[Titans 40k|Titans]] in battle. Unluckily for them, the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] made off with several of their toys after kicking their asses.

====Ruined====
:'''Idharae''' -- Teamed up with Malan'tai and Alaitoc to fight Tyranids before Malan'tai got Doomed, then got themselves destroyed by the Invaders Space Marines. The Invaders also had the help of the Legion of the Damned. The Invaders also only attempted to attack after the craftworld had just fought off Hive Fleet Naga and was still in a weak position.
:'''Kher-Ys''' -- Destroyed by a [[Slaanesh]]i daemon incursion. Oh, and a [[Keeper of Secrets]] possessed their [[Khaela Mensha Khaine|Avatar]] during the fighting, you can imagine how much <s>proverbial</s> buttrape happened there. Sidenote: the whole story is a 40k version of the Breton legend of the sunken city of Ys[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ys] (''Kêr-Is'').
:'''Lu'Nasad''': A craftworld that tried to escape The Fall by using the webway to find a safe refuge in realspace. After unlocking a sealed craftworld-sized webway gate, they passed through...to find themselves in a warp/realspace interstice known by the Imperium as the Rifts of Hecaton. The primary Mcguffin of [[Rogue Trader (RPG)|FFG's Warpstorm Trilogy]] adventures.
:'''Malan'tai''' -- Got LOLDRAIN'D by a unique [[Zoanthrope]] who feeds off psychic energy. Needless to say, after it devoured the souls on the Craftworld's [[Infinity Circuit]], things went very bad for them. Are now extinct. The [[Grey Knights]] under the command of [[Anval Thawn]] went and saved the remaining soulstones from a Keeper of Secrets and were [[Matt Ward|uncharacteristically]] generous enough to give them back to the Eldar.
:'''Sethowyan''' -- The master of this Craftworld was slain by Daylight, from the Imperial Fists. The exact time is unknown, but prior to the War of the Beast.
:'''Thuyelsa''' -- Destroyed by [[Space Wolves]] and the [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Army]] at some point before the Burning of [[Prospero]]. The Army soldiers called it 'Scintilla City' because of the way it sparkled.
:'''Zandros''' -- Only mentioned twice, once as the home to a unique warrior aspect called the '''Slicing Orbs'''. The second time as the site of a duel between [[Karandras]] and [[Arhra]] throughout its shattered ruins and over the shrine of the aforementioned aspect warriors.

==/tg/ made Craftworlds==
*[[Craftworld Eonhar]]
*[[Craftworld Aylis-Nasturcane]]

==Gallery==
<Gallery>
File:Iyanden.jpg|
File:Iyanden.2.jpg|
File:Craftworld.scale.jpg|
File:Dome-interior-.jpg|
File:Eldar_Craftworld.png|
File:Craftworld.under-attack.jpg|
</Gallery>
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Eldar]][[Category:Wraithbone]]

{{Template:40k-Governments}}

Exterminatus

2018-02-24T21:33:39Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* Craftworld Eldar */

{{Topquote|[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacre_at_Béziers Kill them all, The Emperor will recognize His own.]|Inquisitor Arnaud Amalric}}
{{Topquote|FUKKIN' HERETICS!|If the Emperor had a Text-to-speech device, Heresy Scene}}
[[Image:Exterminatus Retribution.jpg|right|450px|"I didn't expect that kind of Imperial [[Inquisition]]-" '''*BLAM*'''|thumb]]
'''Exterminatus''' is the biggest middle finger the [[Imperium of Man|Imperium]] can give to [[xenos]] and [[Chaos]] infestations on their own planets. It basically involves UTTERLY DESTROYING THE PLANET SURFACE via heavy orbital bombardment if they decide that it would be impossible to retake the planet by drowning their enemies in corpses, like they usually do.

And, of course, there is no kill like overkill.

Before you go into some sort of sanctimonious tirade about the morality of blowing the fuck out of an entire planet, understand the context. A world deemed worthy of Exterminatus is one considered past the point where anything can be salvaged from it - whether because it's about to be lost to [[Tyranids|countless ravening giant insects that will zerg-rush and eat fucking everything]] or [[Ork|reality-warping omnicidal fungi that reproduce into millions of spores every time one dies and will all kill you because they think it's fun]] or because it will be turned into a fucking [[Chaos|daemon-and-tentacle-rape-infested shit-pit where neither sanity nor time has any meaning]]. The alternative is fucking glassing a planet and trying to deny it to the enemy or ensure SOMETHING can be saved. It's the last-ditch measure and it's there because the alternative sucks even worse. It is the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scorched_earth Scorched Earth] strategy on a planetary scale: if you can't have it, burn it, and that shit's broken the back of more empires and armies than we can count.

... [[grimdark|Or, you know, because the Inquisitor who ordered it decided he wanted one for his birthday]]. Oversight on Exterminatus orders is fairly nonexistent and it's easy to see why. The problem is the same one real life atomic weapons have, who do you want to have to be able to launch them? You want the most powerful, highly ranked people to have that authority, but if there so highly ranked and with so much power, who watches them? Who second guesses an Inquisitor's judgement about if a world is to be blown up or not? Nobody. [[Kryptman|The Imperium's only solution is to just declare the trigger happy sod Excommunicate Traitoris afterwards if they don't agree]]. The [[Just as Planned|over the top villainy of Warhammer 40k]] means that some fuckholes within the Imperium do get trigger happy with this, ordering an Exterminatus on worlds over things like a few of its people coming into contact with alien technology, or a small hint of [[heresy]] that would probably not require killing everything, or a loose pubic hair being in the Imperial's cereal this morning.

On the bright side, these instances are few and far between, and anyone caught destroying an uncorrupted planet, either for the [[lulz]] or [[Derp|stupidity]], is seen as wasting the "Emprah's Resource, Time and Money", and is forced to explain their [[Heresy|legitimate reasoning]]; though their excuse would most likely be something along the lines of "Chaos was there!" (or [[Kryptman|this could actually save Holy Terra here]], but he was still <s>called a [[Heresy|heretic]]</s> publicly sidelined from active duty for going overboard (yet being kept as 'consultant' by his colleagues because he just might be right).) and they would proceed to get a light slap on the wrist... [[Salamanders|unless they unfortunately meet a giant, angry black dude in green.]] What, you're surprised that an Empire of "Space Nazis 2.0" can have actual legitimate excuses, common sense, reasoning and sensibility? You're in for a whole new series of surprises...

(Joking aside, it's somewhat fluff dependent; in Seventh Retribution by Ben Counter, for instance, the Exterminatus is never even mentioned as a 'solution' despite the fact that the planet got infested with half a dozen demons with great powers. They use said power to mind control thousand of civilians to use them as cannon folder against the Imperial guard, or sacrifice hundreds of innocents to raise a well known flaying daemon to wreak havoc (although part of this was because the Officio Assassinorium had to be 100% sure that they had absolutely killed the antagonist with no margin for error). Also in both the ''Space Wolves Omnibus'' and in the Ultramarines ''Nightbringer'' books, we get Inquisitors saying they have been at it for well over a century without calling down the Exterminatus even once. Even in Retribution, Lord General Castor admits that the world was lost anyway.)

[[Deal with it]]. Bitching any further will rile the [[Commissar|Commissariat]]. You have been warned.

==Methods of Exterminatus==
The Imperium has several means for dealing with hopeless infestations:

===Just Shoot the Shit Out of It (Orbital Bombardment)===

Saturating planets with over-sized lazor cannons larger than apartment buildings is the stereotypical way of nuking the fuck out of something you don't like. Space Marine battlebarge bombardment cannons, Nova cannons, Lance batteries and any type of HUGE lazor is often used. Examples of this include the [[Dark Angels]] destroying their homeworld, Caliban, <s>after it was lost to heretics within their chapter</s> AFTER SOMEONE THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO HUNT FOR DINNER FOR OUR TOTALLY NON-HERETICAL AND OBVIOUSLY LOYAL BROTHERS USING THE ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT CANNONS, the [[Night Lords]]' purge of Nostramo, and during the purging of Typhon.

===Virus Bombs===

Virus Bombs are warheads loaded with the Life Eater virus, a biological payload that causes living tissue (plant or animal) to rot and decompose (which probably gives Nurgle a massive boner). The gist is that they release a virus that spreads by contact and causes necrosis of tissues and rapid decay of plant and animal tissues. This immediate rot causes a buildup of flammable gases, which in turn can be ignited by one of the lazors above (or any still smoldering Lho sticks, or any other source of flame), sweeping the area in firestorms. A relentless bombing of these fucking things is what reduced [[Tallarn]] from a verdant forest world to the desert hellhole it is now. They were also used by [[Horus|Warmaster Horus]] to kill off loyalists in the Traitor Legions during the Istvaan Campaign of the [[Horus Heresy]] (Life Eater virus eats through any filters and corrodes power armour till it gets to the gooey marine inside, though a Dreadnought can endure it easily). Though a popular method of Exterminatus during the [[Great Crusade]], according to [[Amberley Vail]], virus bombs are only rarely used in the "present time" because the Inquisition has figured out that every time they're used, they feed the fucking [[Nurgle|Plaguefather]]. Whoops.

===Atmospheric Incinerator Torpedo===

Atmospheric Incinerator Torpedoes are [[plasma]] torpedoes that burst in low planetary orbit and super-heat the atmosphere of a planet until all combustible material ignites. This method of Exterminatus was used on Medusa IV. Pretty much like the Virus Bomb, except it skips right to the firestorm part and directly turns the planet's surface into an endless expanse of raging hellfire. It is said that the aftermath of the planet's surface (Medusa IV's case) was melted to glass and that the entire world burned like a piece of amber in space even a month after the attack had been launched. They are only effective on planets with relatively stable atmospheres made of flammable gas, however, and plasma torpedos are both somewhat rare and expensive.

===Modalis Atmospheric Missile===

Another weapon that has similar results from the Atmospheric Incinerator Torpedo but its function is completely different. Regarded as the most powerful incendiary device accessible in the Imperium. The Modalis Atmospheric Missile is one ECKS BAWKS HUEG Phosphex weapons used to burn a planet into a crisp. Think White Phosphorous on steroids. A salvo of several Modalis Atmospheric Missiles from orbiting warships will blanket an entire world in deadly Phosphex. The resultant firestorm of green mist will eat away at every carbon-based element on the planet, rendering it uninhabitable. All that would be left would be dust and echoes.

===Cyclonic Torpedoes===

The primary method of Exterminatus used in the 41st millennium, these are basically nukes OD'd on steroids. These capital ship-fired warheads each generate a series of massive, self-sustaining nuclear reactions, which, when fired in bulk, fuels a much larger reaction that causes the devastation to spread and multiply, eventually glassing the entire world with a thermonuclear holocaust given a sufficient barrage. If you fire enough in the same spot it will break through the crust of a planet, causing part of the mantle to erupt out, royally buttfucking the entire planet in the process ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYXj9xOUFIM see ''Fire Warrior'' end cinematic]). [[Krieg]] is an example of a radioactive perpetual-winter world that survived multiple cyclonic torpedo strikes, though in this case it was on a much smaller scale. This was the method that probably killed Typhon, in combination with the above shoot-the-shit-out-of-it method. (Another theory holds that the bombardment is used to remove anything that might prevent the torpedo from reaching the surface or to weaken planets crust.) Only the [[Inquisition]] and the [[Space Marines]] are authorized to carry cyclonic torpedoes in their warships, the former because the Inquisition has the authority to do anything, and the latter because the Imperium figures that if the Space Marines can't beat it, nothing else will.

Cyclonic Torpedoes are pretty variable in their strength, either due to there being different classes of torpedoes or the fact that the strength of a single cyclonic torpedo has never been nailed down in official materials. In one case, ol' Abby dropped a dozen to fry a single hive, in another a single torpedo is a qualified planet cracker. Similarly, this method is the easiest to thwart with shields, as they disrupt the stacked efficiency needed for ongoing detonation.

===Two-Stage Cyclonic Torpedoes===

In the two-stage torpedo, a [[melta]] charge activates first to allow the weapon to burrow into the planet's crust and down to the core. The second stage thermonuclear charge then goes off, causing the planet to break apart Death Star style. This is really the only way to deal with Necron Tomb Worlds since, due to their tendency to make everything subterranean, they aren't overly bothered by the other methods which devastate the surface but leave the planet as a whole mostly intact. Talos of the Night Lords used a smaller version of these when a Genesis Chapter strike cruiser tried to hide behind a moon. So he [[Awesome|blew a continent-sized hole through the moon]], and watched the loyalist ship get torn apart as a new asteroid field got shotgunned into space.

===Smashing It with a Fucking Moon===

This method involves radically altering the orbit of a nearby moon or large asteroid and placing it on a collision course with the planet, and therefore requires the use of several Mechanicus voidships. This method was used to destroy Phaenon Prime when the Virus Bomb failed to wipe out the planet's corruptive influence. It was also used during the [[Horus Heresy]] by renegade Iron Hands commander Autek Mor to destroy the World Eaters recruitment world of Bodt and during the Badab War to finally smash through [[Huron Blackheart]]'s defensive Ring of Steel around Badab. Needless to say, this pretty much fucking annihilates the planet in question (or whatever else it's thrown at like Huron's defensive systems). Despite its flair and effectiveness, [http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Rocks_Are_Not_Free! the Administratum vehemently requests that Imperial commanders avoid this method whenever possible], because it's stupidly expensive -- it can take weeks or even months for the moon or asteroid in question to actually strike the planet, which costs rations and sublight fuel while the ships sit around doing fuck-all; orbital bombardments only cost about one day's worth of rations and fuel, plus the ammunition, which comes out to be less expensive.

===Release the Krourk===

Krourk [[Ogryn]] are known as the most brutal, powerful, and primitive tribe of Ogryn in the Imperium (and that's saying something). They are so well-known for their frightening savagery in close combat that they're considered a solid match for Orks, and are also known for being so primitively stupid that the Imperial Guard can't even teach them to use traditional Ogryn weapons like ripper guns. Their reputation is so fearsome that it has gotten to the point where deploying thousands of these things is considered a crude method of Exterminatus amongst Imperial commanders, given that they'll attempt to kill anything within visual range, friend or foe.

==Non-Imperium Exterminatus==
Several factions outside the Imperium do things similar to the Imperial Exterminatus (adding any examples from the lore would be greatly appreciated). However, most of them don't use these methods often. Some examples:

===Craftworld Eldar===

The [[Eldar|Craftworld Eldar]] have some respect for life (and not nearly as many weapons of mass destruction as they had before the [[Fall of the Eldar|Fall]]) so they don't do it often. Didn't stop them from purging all life in the Octarius system to clean up [[Kryptman|Kryptman's]] mess, though. The most well-known Eldar engines of planetary destruction are called [[Blackstone Fortress|Blackstone Fortresses]], which are ancient weapons they designed to fight the [[C'tan]]. To put it simply, think of a floating citadel with a distort weapon (like the ones the [[Wraithguard]] have) the size of an Emperor-class battleship. During the Gothic Wars, three Blackstone Fortresses combined their power to cause a star to go supernova, destroying an entire solar system.

In Apocalypse War Zone: Valedor, the Craftworld Eldar from [[Iyanden]] procured another type of ancient WMD, the Fireheart: a complex nodal resonator capable of causing a planet's molten core to enter violent death throes and send lakes of lava to the surface. The [[Dark Eldar]] originally had this, but they gave it away because they didn't have the psychic power to activate the weapon. The Fireheart was used successfully on Valedor and prevented Hive Fleets [[Hive Fleet Kraken|Kraken]] and [[Hive Fleet Behemoth|Behemoth]] from joining forces. If they had, the [[Tyranids]] would have had all of the genetic data of the Orks and the Eldar, enabling them to fashion unthinkable monstrosities.

Before the fall (and possibly still kicking around somewhere) they had devices that fired entire suns or black holes at their enemies.

===Dark Eldar===

The [[Dark Eldar]] lack a good stockpile of planet-killing weaponry and prefer to keep planets intact for slaves, although they are still capable of exterminating the populace of entire planets if they wanted to. One method is pillaging the shit out of it. Its been proven time and time again that an entire Kabal is more than capable of kidnapping an entire planet of it's populace, faster than that local PDF trooper can finish his scream of agony. There has also been one instance of an entire Hive World being poisoned by the Dark Eldar, smashing a Space Hulk at a realm and havings its warp drives detonate to release hordes of daemons, and there's also counting the DE's ability to steal entire suns; allowing them to turn entire habitable planets into ice worlds if need be. They also possess a psychic doomsday device called The Fireheart to implode a planet's core -- originally invented and mass-produced by the Eldar Empire, what few Firehearts they have left are triggered by psychic resonance (and thus useless to Dark Eldar unless they can trick some Craftworlders into using it). The Kabal of the Dying Sun has devices that extinguish stars, while Vect keeps black holes in his back pocket to troll people.

Let's not forget just taking their sun as a trophy and letting the entire star system die...

The Dark Eldar can also just have other races kill planets for them. [[Just as Planned|Through manipulation from the sides; they could convince (and managed to do so at one point) the Imperium to declare Exterminatus on a planet.]]

===Necrons===

The [[Necrons]] have lost many WMDs, but may have several more just waiting to be awakened. ([[Not as Planned|Maybe the Necrons are more trigger-happy with Exterminatus than the Imperium, but they're better at ensuring there're no witnesses]]). One of their most notorious Exterminatus-tier machines was the [[The World Engine|World Engine]], which was a planet-sized vessel equipped with the largest [[Gauss|gauss weapon]] known to man. It looked like the combination of a Death Star, Unicron and a Forerunner Shield-World all rolled into one. A [[Rape|flying rape-machine of ungodly proportions]], it took a coalition of several Space Marine chapters and the entire Imperial fleet of the Vidar Subsector to destroy it. For some reason, it had shields that could withstand the [[Awesome|bombardment of an ''entire navy'',]] yet it was [[What|vulnerable]] to a ship [[Meme|impacting at sufficient velocity.]] (Although it is possible that the shields weren't designed to deflect speeding projectiles the size of battle barges.)

The Maynarkh dynasty deploys a peculiar device that causes supercharged solar flares that incinerate the daylight-facing sides of ALL planets in a system. <s>Granted, it only exterminates roughly half of each planet, but if they want to finish the job all they need is to wait half a day cycle and fire it again.</s> While dull people may not realize it, incinerating half a planet's surface would also incinerate its atmosphere, stripping the whole planet bare of its life giving biosphere, or whatever gases it had trapped. Unfortunately for the survivors, Maynarkh Necrons are more interested in making a planetfall and skinning them alive.

Maybe under certain circumstances, if the Necrons wanted to destroy a world, they could just unleash a particularly powerful Transcendent C'tan shard on it without a Tesseract Vault. Though it would most likely escape and be nearly impossible to return to Necron control, it would achieve the same effects. Also, the Tombworld of Thanatos has a giant hologram map of the galaxy known as the Celestial Orrery, and if you were to destroy a star on it, the real life counterpart would go supernova. However, the Necrons don't really use it (since they're more about conquering planets than destroying them). Instead, they just treat it like a giant bonsai tree. (You would think a branch to clip would be Terra, Fenris, Macragge, Baal etc but nope)

The Necrons can also employ an [[Abattoir]] when directly terraforming a planet. They are large, [[monolith]]-like devices except that they physically carry what they're transporting, are the size of a small city, and are covered in tentacles that disintegrate organic material while harvesting its anguish.

===Tyranids===

No, [[Tyranids]], you are the exterminatus.

A Tyranid fleet's primary objective is to devour entire planets and systems for biomass. After they're done, the world they invaded is left a lifeless rock, utterly devoid of life.

The Tyranids also travel through sublight via gravity manipulations, and these can rip apart asteroids and small moons entirely before the 'nids make planetfall.

===Orks===

In theory, the [[Ork]]s could develop an Exterminatus-size weapon (as much by accident and luck as by design); they grab an asteroid, put engines and weapons and armor on it, fill it with Orks, and then ram it full speed into a planet. It wouldn't matter if it turned out to function as a giant transport or just a suicide missile; it generates tremendous amounts of [[lulz]] and serves its purpose of making a big boom, which is all the Orks are concerned with. This haphazard design and construction process would limit the amount of these contraptions the Orks could build (if any). In general, however, Orks want to avoid wiping out everything on the planet from orbit, as it would leave them with nothing to fight on the ground. Although a Big Mek in need of roks once smashed a moon into a planet and took his pick from the best bits.

Ork Roks. Big hollowed asteroids they slam into planets as one way reentry vessels. Used during the Third War for Armageddon.

===Tau Empire===

While the [[Tau]] almost certainly have the technological capability to destroy entire planets (I mean, if the fucking [[Derp|Orks]] can figure it out, then the Tau definitely can), there are a number of philosophical, political, and strategic reasons that they would avoid doing this in all but the most extreme circumstances. For one, the Tau Empire is in the process of expanding, and it isn't exactly conducive to your expansion efforts to blow up perfectly colonizable worlds; thus the Tau would likely see Imperial Exterminatus orders as an egregious waste of resources, which they wouldn't be completely wrong about. Also, the Tau are arguably [[Grimdark|the only race in the 40k universe]] who operate by something parodying a moral compass, so the idea of obliterating a planet and its inhabitants is likely appalling to their [[Noblebright|naive wittle sensibilities]].

On the other hand, the Tau have officially declared some races (Orks, Tyranids, Dark Eldar, and Necrons) "lost causes" to be destroyed wherever encountered, so one could plausibly imagine a situation hopeless enough that they would sacrifice a planet to be rid of them. Still, they would probably try to at least leave the world itself salvageable and only exterminate the infesting species. There are stories of populations being sterilized or generally dispatched, which is about as mean as the Tau get; one such case was the Poctroon, who were the first sapient species they ever encountered. Their planet was ripe for colonization, and when the Tau arrived, the Poctroon all died of a 'mysterious' contagion, though the Tau obviously have admitted no diabolical fuckery.

As their expansion accelerated deeper into Imperial space, the Tau started to deploy more and more experimental technologies to both battlefields and production lines, some of which weren't properly tested. As a result, quite a few moons, planets and even stars have been accidentally destroyed by various mishaps. While such destruction sometimes happened to be advantageous to Tau forces (for example, by shattering Imperial defenses with massive tidal waves and earthquakes after the destruction of a planet's moon), they have shown no attempts to weaponize it.

The Tau also have orbital high-yield nuclear warhead options, but they generally use them to generate EMP pulses to blackout a wide area. They can also use these warheads to scatter toxic radiation over an area instead, though, burning through flesh and killing those below.

The Tau are also one of the few factions in 40k who still possess functioning terraforming technology (the Eldar lost theirs during the [[Fall of the Eldar|Fall]], Tyranid "terraforming" is more just them going about eating everything, and Necron terraforming is an Exterminatus on its own), so they can restore exterminated planets to habitability again, provided they haven't been utterly destroyed Deathstar-style. So yes, [[Meme| in the Tau Empire, Exterminatus get purged by YOU!]]

One of the notable example would be [[Commander Or'es'Ka]] from [[Dawn of War|dawn of war soulstorm]], where he had this huge ass gun called "Ar'Ka Cannon" installed on the moon of Kaurava system. The cannon can fire anywhere in the Kaurava system (including the moon where the cannon is), obliterate his enemies before he moves in. The said [[ork|BIGGIZT GUNZ]] is also the most Eco-friendly WMD ever built in the grimdark future, as it is capable of damaging only advance life form, while preventing from harming plants and building. Hilariously, he got the idea of WMD from watching the inquisition <s>doing their sorry excuse for fun</s> killing the enemies of the mankind FOR THE EMPEROR!!!

===Forces of Chaos===

Being former servants of the Imperium, fleets of [[Chaos Space Marines]] often still possess the good old Imperial Exterminatus weapons, like virus bombs for the old legions, cyclonic torpedoes for more recently turned traitors, or Just Shoot The Shit Out Of It for any warband with ships in their fleet big enough to carry the guns. Occasionally they will pillage Imperial Exteminatus weapons, or else invent some of their own with technology, sorcery, daemonic shit or some combination of the three. [[Honsou|Some]] Chaos guys tend to be quite inventive in finding ways to kill planets.

During one of his Black Crusades, [[Abaddon]] managed to steal or destroy all of the Blackstone Fortresses that the Imperium had in their possession. Naturally, they work just as well for Chaos as they did for the Eldar (and far better than they ever did for the Imperium). He also commissioned an incredibly huge destroyer of a spaceship, the front half of which is basically a battery of miles-long energy cannons. This "Armageddon Gun" can split a planet in half with one shot.

Then there is World Eaters, who live up to their name when they are united. 50,000 of these motherfuckers slaughtered 70 Sectors in Angron's Dominion of Fire campaign. [[Derp| Then all the planets they conquered was retaken. It seems like they forgot to salt the earth.]] To be fair though, Imperium needed four Chapters, two Titan Legions and more than thirty Guard Regiments (''However, WAAAGH Skargor took on fifty Guard regiments and SIX space murheen chapters. Perhaps World Eaters lack the power of [[dakka]].''). Back in Great Crusade, these butchers manually killed everything on the planets they went to conquer. Most of the time, it took them one day. This gave birth to another problem: There was no subjects on these planets to rule over. So the Emprah had to sent fleets to colonize planets left over by World Eaters, which was a pain in the arse for him.

Uniquely amongst 40k factions, the armies of Chaos can make planets Exterminatus-proof by turning them into [[Daemon World|Daemon Worlds]], where the laws of physics are fucked up so hard by the power of the [[Warp]] that all weapons just cease to function on and around it, or even achieve the opposite effect by nourishing the daemon patron of the world and making him even stronger (don't even think about virus bombing a [[Nurgle]] Daemon World). Though admittedly, from literally any point of view besides that of Chaos, Exterminatus is a preferable option to Daemon World transformation, as it would just kill you, rather than damning you to the eternity of torment.

Of course, there's also the act of summoning [[Aetaos'Rau'Keres]]. Keres will turn any planet he's summoned on into a lifeless husk. He doesn't care what side you are on or even if you're the cult that summoned him; he will murder ''everyone'' unlucky enough to be on the planet he's currently on. Such is his methods that he's the closest thing the Chaos Daemons have to a true planetary exterminatus.

==IRL Exterminatus==

''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_catastrophic_risk see Global Catastrophic Risk]''

===Thermo-Nuclear Holocaust===

Apparently, even when we aren't in the 41st millennium we still mastered the art of royally buttfucking a planet. In this case, it's ours, and a full-scale thermonuclear war between the United States and the Soviet Union (who each have thousands and thousands of nukes) would be enough to kill off humanity multiple times over. This is how Mutually Assured Destruction works, threatening each other and our own planet with Exterminatus with zero chance of survival, just so we won't begin another World War. Because [[Imperium of Man|we're bastards like that]]. The Cobalt Bombs described by Dr. Strangelove above are actually possible, though currently theoretical. Nuclear weapons designed to be deployed as bombs or missiles aren't strong enough to destroy the world with only 50 warheads, but if you don't mind moving the weapon once it's built, the only limit on how big your nuke can get is how much material you're willing to use on it. In theory, the doomsday device of Dr. Strangelove could be achieved with a single massive bomb.

This is further worth mentioning because automated retaliation systems that could activate nuclear weapons in response to a detected threat ''actually existed''. The Soviet Union had the "Dead Hand" system, based off of seismic, air pressure, and EM sensors. The system was normally kept inactive and was only supposed to be turned on during a crisis to guarantee that the Soviets would still be able to use their weapons even if their leadership was taken out by a first strike.

Some believe that elements of the Dead Hand system may have been lost or buried, and are active to this day. [[grimdark|A ticking automated Exterminatus waiting for a signal from aging cold-war era sensors.]]

An old quote from the film ''WarGames'' summarizes the game of Global Thermonuclear War/Exterminatus: ''The only winning move is not to play..."

===An Asteroid===

Really, all it takes to kill everything on a planet is a big enough rock traveling fast enough. Normally it's the cloud of dust that is kicked up into the atmosphere and blocks out the sun that does most of the work. Dinosaurs learned this the hard way. Of course, this doesn't really work too well on a forge or hive world which is already like that. For raw destructive force, however, the damage is a function of the speed and size of the asteroid. The former has some practical limits (though a civilization looking to weaponize this sort of exterminatus could possibly bring the rock up to relativistic speeds), but the latter can be nearly unlimited. A collision with a near planet-sized object would be more devastating than most ''fictional'' exterminatus weapons, obliterating the target world entirely. There could be any number of so-called 'rogue' planets floating in the empty spaces between stars, ready to slide into the solar system and crash into Earth, assuming humanity fails its collective ''Save or Die'' roll for the week. They'd have to [[fail]] incredibly hard because the overwhelming chance is that the rogue body will end up into the Sun (or Jupiter as a distant second choice), but yeah. [[Just as planned|Shit happens, yo!]]

===Super Volcano===

Works on the same principal as the asteroid, that if you get enough shit into the atmosphere you've royally fucked all life bigger than a mouse. This may not be very likely though on Earth as one of the biggest volcanoes (see yellowstone park) wouldn't wipe out humanity, probably. Maybe.

Unless, of course, seismic activity from that eruption managed to trigger the [http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-25598050/ OTHER NINETEEN] super volcanoes.

===SAGE-Bombing===

The electronic equivalent of Exterminatus, a Sagebomb is achieved by repeatedly using the SAGE (Japanese for "lower") tag on a thread, ergo reducing its priority. When fired in bulk by multiple users simultaneously, such barrages of SAGE are capable of dragging almost any thread screaming down to the depths of a given imageboard, where they will eventually be purged. The ultimate fate for all threads containing [[Furry]] and similar [[Heresy]].

...Or at least that's how many fa/tg/uys think it works.

SAGE is supposed to add a "negative" response to a given thread, ergo reducing its apparent post-count. Because such a system would be easy to [[troll]] others, however, SAGE instead is used simply to reply without bumping a given thread. In [[Dungeons and Dragons|olden times]], SAGE ''did'' work that way supposedly, however, and was a tool of righteous wrath. Sagebombing still has an effect to the extent that once a thread passes the "autosage" limit it can no longer be bumped even by normal posts, and so even if it is still active it will still sink to the bottom of the board and into the depths of deletion; hence a large number of zero-content SAGEs will hasten the demise of the thread without bumping it in the process, although they do not actively cause the thread's departure.

===The Black Death===

What can be said about the Black Death or more accurately the Bubonic plague. It's killed more people than every war in human history put together,in 541–542 it killed one in four of the population of Constantinople, the cemeteries filled up, they ran of open land in the city, then the mass graves out side the city filled up, they threw the dead into guard towers, onto ships to sail the Mediterranean just to get them out of the city. food rotted in the fields and there was famine. During the 14th century, the plague had a second tour of Europe killing 30-60% of the total population across Europe, all of Europe, Peasant, Priest, noble or criminal the Plague killed everyone. on top of that, the Plague is horrifying to die of: [[Nurgle|you grow boils, your skin rots off your body, Seizures, continuous vomiting of blood, and extreme pain caused by the decay of the skin]]. In one of the many examples of the repercussion of the plague on the modern world, which would require an entire book to cover in full, it would not be hard to say that without the Plague, Nurgle and the entire gothic aesthetic of the Imperium would not exist.

===William Tecumseh Sherman===
[[File:Tree creed.JPG|200px|thumb|right|The only tree Khorne will ever decorate with bloody corpses on Christmas.]]
William, yeah [[that guy]], a Union commander and a [[Creed|tactical genius]], is known for nuking a lot of pretty places like Atlanta and pwning every [[Chaos Space Marine|Confederate]] and [[Tau|Native American]] force he faced. He invented the total war strategy, which it is basically the earliest form of exterminatus. His "March to the sea" consisted of one massive offensive, abandoning supply lines and trying to cause as much damage as possible. The goal was a total disruption not only of the confederate's military, but of their economy and infrastructure. Crops were burned and fields salted, wells were poisoned, and everything was done so that when it came time for Sherman's troops to fall back the enemy could not use anything of the land. Telegraph lines, Rail lines, bridges and more were destroyed in massive amounts, and goods that weren't stolen for their own use were burned to prevent their use by the confederate states, even if said good has no direct military value. Even to this day the [[rage]] is legendary in the south. He and his troops are accused by southerners of rape, pillage, and plunder. <S>Sherman was actually against unchecked rampages like this</S>,[[Blam]]. Because of his hatred for everything, he becomes the [[Spiritual liege|spiritual forefather]] of [[/b/|anonymous]], for the fact he has shown those basement dweller the [[Humanity Fuck Yeah| true meaning to be humans]]. <S>He probably ascended to daemonhood of Khorne after his death, like pretty much all extremely badass warlords</S>[[Blam]] Sherman is one of the few humans to ever experience Reincarnation, as he obviously would become Inquisitor Kryptman in the Tyrannic Wars.

===Nine Familial Exterminations===

To put it simply: for your [[HERESY]], you, your entire family, your grandmother, your ancestors, your cats and your children are to be put to death! It is the most serious punishment created in the ancient [[Imperium|Imperial china]] in order to erase heresy stains at that time period. This is still being practices today in North Korea, however.

Fun Fact: One man actually managed to piss off the emperor enough that he got a ten familial exterminations.

===Wiki page Deletion===

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|-
| [[Image:Konata_no_redeeming_value.gif|50px]]
| This article is bad and may or may not require deleting. Comment on the article's '''[[:{{TALKPAGENAME}}|talk page]]'''. '''Reason:''' This is how you set an article to be deleted:: Just add <nowiki>"{{deletion|reason}}"</nowiki> somewhere on the page.
|}
An electronic equivalent of Exterminatus for every wiki. To delete a page, the user must mark the page for review by the [[User:Wikifag|mod]] and provide a valid reason for why the article deserves to be purged. On this wiki for example, any non-/tg/-related shit should be removed to make sure that the only content is about a /tg/ related meme, or relates to traditional games in anyway. Unlike every other exterminatus above, the information can be reclaimed if the wiki has its backup file. That been said, vandalism is pointless, as users don't need mod permission to undo someone's shit changes.

==The Fall of Typhon==
Good to know there's a ceremony for blowing up a planet.

''"We have arrived, and it is now that we perform our charge. ''
''In fealty to the God-Emperor (our undying Lord) and by the grace of the Golden Throne, I declare Exterminatus upon the Imperial world of Typhon Primaris. ''
''I hereby sign the death warrant of an entire world and consign a million souls to oblivion. ''
''May Imperial Justice account in all balance. ''
''The Emperor Protects."''

==The Words of Gabriel Angelos==
''It is human nature to seek culpability in a time of tragedy. It is a sign of strength to cry out against fate, rather than to bow one's head and succumb. Inevitably many will fault the hands upon the sword which felled Typhon, the Ordo Malleus. But the Inquisition merely performs the duty of its office. To further fear them is redundant; to hate them, heretical. Those more sensible will place responsibility with those who forced the hands of the Inquisition. With some fortune, they may foster this hatred into purpose, and further rule their own fate by coming to the Emperor's service.''

''Yet ultimately, it was I who set these events into motion, with a single blow from my hammer, God Splitter.'' --Gabriel Angelos of the Blood Ravens

Fuck, that's deep. The use of a properly modified version of this quote from Dawn of War Retribution has proved highly effective in sageing furfag troll threads and thus has been sanctioned by the holy /tg/ Inquisition for public use (keep it on /tg/).

==Battlefleet Gothic: Armada==
''Admiral Spire, it is said that heresy is like a tree. ''
''Its roots lie in darkness while its leaves wave in the sun. ''
''You can prune away its branches, even cut the tree to the ground. ''
''Yet it will grow again, ever stronger. ''
''Such is the nature of heresy and why it is so difficult to destroy. ''
''Some may question my right to destroy a world of ten billion souls. ''
''But for those who truly understand, realize I have no right to let them live. ''
''No sacrifice is too great. No treachery too small. ''
--Inquisitor Horst

==Exterminatus on the Tabletop==
Though not the most effective of lists, it is particularly hilarious and surprisingly fluffy to declare Exterminatus on large table games of 40k. The general gist is to simply stock up on as many large blast templates fired from off table as possible, whether via army list or stratagems. One relatively simple list is to simply take a [[Grey Knights]] army, field a single Bro-Capt. or Grand Master with an orbital Strike Relay, [[Witch Hunters|Karamazov]] (who also has one) and two troop choices (if you're playing a regular game -- if you're playing [[Apocalypse]], you can skip the troops) Then cram in as many Techmarines as you can, give them all Orbital Strike Relays and watch the bombs drop. For the average 3000 point game, you can get Krazypants off and 20 bare-bones techies with the relays. that's 21 Strength 10 AP1 pie-plates smashing down on your opponents Baneblades, Warhounds and other special hard-as-balls to kill shit your opponents have! Also great for swarm-busting (the relays can fire D3 pieplates each per guy but at Strength 6). Picture Krazypantsoff standing on a hilltop, pointing at buildings and going "Bang.", then watching them all blow up. Of course, if the Inquisitor dies, you're fucked. So maybe just camp him in cover. But that's only if you're lame.

For those of you with enough money to field the Horus Heresy army list from Forge World, Horus can call down an orbital strike with infinite range and S10 AP1 from anywhere on the map. Now you can reenact the Istvaan III atrocities yourself!

For an Apocalypse game you can also field an exterminatus guard force.
All you need is:
n * 6 guardsmen (one with a vox).
The list is fairly simple - Just field as many Company Command Squads with nothing but Master of Ordinance and fire away (for a 3k game its almost 38 s9 ap3 blasts a turn)
Don't forget to field some epic(troll) music to laugh at your opponents face, and after the battle proceed with knocking the table down to finish with a speech gritty nuff to make Sturnn himself proud.

As of 7th edition, it's now possible to forego the FoC chart and take whatever models you want. This means you can take 15 Chapter Masters in a 2k list.

In 40k terms, you can get some SERIOUS Exterminatus going with the [[Necrons|'Crons]] and their Doomsday Arks. In one Primary Detachment, for example, you can take a fully viable 1500-point Necron army as so: Overlord with Warscythe, 5 Immortals, 10 Warriors and 3 Doomsday Arks. If the Doomsday Arks don't move, they can provide one 72" Strength 10 AP 1 Primary Weapon Large Blast each, allowing for some serious [[butthurt]] from your opponents (and this may make you [[That Guy]] if done well because this is a level of cheese on the table that France would be proud of). If you're trying to break into a bunker-sized fortification, use these three things on the doors. Then you can re-enact the dying moments of [[The Conquest of Uttu Prime]] sans the [[Megalith]]!

==TL;DR==
You fuckers just backed Chaos and now you have a daemon infestation? Your planet 'gon git [[FATAL|raaaaaaaaaaaaaaped]].

<gallery>
image:exterminatus.jpg
image:exterminatus2.jpg
File:Red nuke button turned into EXTERMINATUS.png|Suffer not the Furry to live
File:Exterminatusthread.jpg|The E-quisition vigilantly purges the Emperor's internets of chaos taint.
File:Foxy Lady.jpg|If the inhabitants of a planet remotely resembles this creature, it's guaranteed to be exterminatused upon discovery. If pictures like this are found on a thread in /tg/, it's guaranteed to be saged and trolled upon discovery
File:Fall_of_Reach_1.jpg|If said inhabitants started space-faring like a certain [[Chakat|Chakat]], then you could call your local Inquisition or any Xeno manly enough to [[Get shit done|get shit done, just like the Covenant shown in the image.]]
File:Hello exterminatus Warhammer 40k sister of battle rule 34.jpg|See? The Internet can even make the end of the world look sexy!
File:Rocks are not free citizen.jpg|Don't suggest bolides as a method of exterminatus.
File:Sherman.gif
File:Ohara Incident.png|Although this is not a planet, it's just too B-E-A-[[weeaboo]]-TIFUL.
</gallery>

Vidya:
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNc242mbiUs&feature=channel_video_title
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYXj9xOUFIM
* The unofficial theme-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_tIw9Il934
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEGo41443iI The heresy scene mentioned in the quotes at the top.]
[[Category:Imperial]][[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Meme]]

Daemon

2018-02-24T19:04:23Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* Warhammer */

[[File:Daemon Medieval.jpg|thumb|right|400px]]
The word Daemon, or "''δαίμων ‎''", originated from Greek mythology, and was the term for spirits of nature and, well, anything but the Olympian gods. It wasn't a negative term at all, but rather a term that described creatures other than humans and animals, but as they often had ethics that was just as alien, they could seem malevolent at times. In Roman mythology, the term evolved to describe two guardian spirits who all people had attached to them, one benevolent and one malevolent. In /tg/ culture, daemon occasionally pops up as an alternative to "demon" or "devil" as the terminology for the fiendish races. The most iconic example of Daemons on /tg/ are those from the Warhammer settings.

==Dungeons & Dragons and Pathfinder==
[[Dungeons & Dragons]] has long used the term Daemon to refer to their Neutral Evil fiendish race, in contrast to the Lawful Evil Devils and the Chaotic Evil Demons. With the notorious anti-Satanic panic, daemons were renamed as [[Yugoloth]]s in the [[Planescape]] setting, much as devils and demons became [[Baatezu]] and [[Tanar'ri]], respectively. See the [[Yugoloth]] page for more details.

In [[Pathfinder]], daemons are again the Neutral Evil fiendish race, because yugoloths aren't in the OGL. Born from the souls of Neutral Evil mortals, each breed of daemon embodies a specific kind of death, in comparison to the sin-born demons. For example, hydrodaemons represent death by drowning, whilst thanatodaemons represent death by old age. Answering to the four archdaemons, styled after the Horsemen of the Apocalypse - that is, Famine, War, Pestilence and Death - they hearken back to older descriptions of Neutral Evil in that they ''hate'' life itself. In the Pathfinder setting's closest equivalent to the [[Blood War]], daemons seek to annihilate all life, trying to sweep the multiverse clean of all life other than daemonkind. Once they have achieved that goal, they will then turn on each other, fighting to the death until only one daemon remains in existence. That daemon will take a moment to savor the emptiness of existence... and then commit suicide. They hate life that much.

[[Category: Dungeons & Dragons]]

==Infernum==
In the D20 game [[Infernum]] by Mongoose Publishing, Daemon is the highest of the "common" titles, the furthest rank a hellspawn can achieve without becoming a noble of some description. It is awarded only to hellspawn who prove themselves true masters in a particular field of expertise - combat, diplomacy, spying, etcetera - and usually requires formal duels between would-be contestants under the eye of a local Captain. Ascending to the rank of Daemon awards a hellspawn with 2000 bonus experience points and grants them their first Noble Mutation.

==Warhammer==
{{heresy}}

''"Only a fool trusts a Daemon. They are made of the very stuff of change, the raw madness of the Warp made manifest. However, like men, Daemons are creatures of greed, pride, and arrogance, and these are things I trust completely."'' -[[Abaddon]] the Despoiler, either being pretty awesome or talking complete bullshit depending on your point of view.

[[File:M3060166a 2xl.jpg|500px|thumb|right|Just remember that the next time you rage at your mates for [[That Guy|being a douche]] or something, you're indirectly creating one of these.]]

'''Daemons''' are powerful beings, neither real nor unreal, which do not obey the laws of physics; indeed, their very existence is a warping of reality. They reside within the [[Warp|Realm of Chaos]], and usually are organized into groups obeying the rule of [[Chaos Gods]].

According to wikifags over at the official 40k Wiki, daemons can be created from one of the four Ruinous Powers through a process that's kind of similar to mitosis (except really REALLY unbalanced); a Chaos God splits off a tiny fraction of their own will, essence, and power, and in doing so creates a new daemon that is essentially an extension of whatever Chaos God made it. It's worth noting that the Gods can also use the souls of deceased individuals who died under specific circumstances to forge new daemons, and given the [[Grimdark|general shitfuckery that goes on in the galaxy that results in hundreds of thousands dying on a daily basis]], this particular process of daemon spawning is typically more popular. Anyway, these newborn critters then invade the real world, buttfuck anyone they can get their horny claws on (even other [[Dark Eldar|rapists]]), and the resulting torrent of chaotic emotions that come from being violently buttfucked by a walking pile of Warp energy feed the Chaos Gods, causing their power to grow and allowing even more daemons to be born (that's right; no matter how many morning-after pills you take, a baby is guaranteed to pop out of someone, somewhere, sooner or later as a result of your fatal defilement). Hopefully now you're starting to realise how utterly ROFLSCREWED the many unfortunate races of the Milky Way are; [[Wat|simply ''seeing'' these assholes and getting scared by them essentially gives their gods the power to make ''even more'' of these assholes]]. <s>So man the fuck up, otherwise you're indirectly responsible for giving birth to these dudes</s> nope, sorry, not even growing a manly-ass pair is gonna save you from the guilt of making more daemons, since the bravery and fearlessness you feel will feed [[Khorne]] in particular and allow him to spawn a bunch of new [[Bloodletter|horny penis-heads with sharp swords]]. For fuck's sake.

As I said; ROFLSCREWED. The only way to rid the galaxy of this Heresy-given-physical-form would probably be to kill off every single sentient living thing in the galaxy that has a presence in the Warp ([[Halo]] array, anyone?), thus 'starving' the Chaos Gods of their juicy succulent thirst-quenching emotions. Except the process of killing every poor sod off like that will only feed the Ruinous Powers ''even more'', probably to the point where they become so powerful they could tear the galaxy multiple [[Eye of Terror|new ones]] at the click of their fingers.

But wait, it doesn't stop there. Daemons are functionally immortal in that even if their physical forms are destroyed in real space, their essence will return back into the Warp/RoC where they will be ready to wreak havoc once they have another opportunity to go back, unless there are special circumstances preventing them from doing so such as being trapped in an object (such as a Tesseract Labyrinth or enchanted item), or special incantations that imprison it. It ''is'' however also possible to give a daemon a "true death" in that it is permanently erased from existence, but this normally requires some incredibly rare artifact, absurdly complicated rituals, or a psyker/wizard of immense power (after all, by truly killing a daemon, you are in essence killing a tiny fraction of one of the Chaos Gods, so of course it'd be hard as fuck).

Lesser daemons like [[Bloodletter]]s can normally be banished back by a proper bashing with a mace or a few dozen shots from a lasgun, or with a simple chant of a certain scripture that daemons fear. Greater Daemons, like a [[Bloodthirster]] or [[Great Unclean One]], will normally either require ''extremely'' powerful dakka the size of [[Baneblade|Baneblades]] or in Fantasy, mass-stabbing from spears, cannon balls, or the intervention of the [[Daemonhunters]] and similar specialists. Banishing Greater Daemons and Daemon Princes from real space for a long time often requires rituals which involve uttering the daemon's true name, which is a secret to begin with, almost always unpronounceable for a human, long enough to take minutes to utter, and can have nasty spells (like ones that fill your lungs with molten brimstone) included into them - and all this must happen while said angry daemon does his best to slaughter the ritual's participants.

It should be noted that even though the word "Daemon" is their widely accepted name by the mortal races, it is not necessarily the name they call themselves. One daemon in 40k even remarks that it is merely a name given to them by mortals (generally humans) due to its satanic origin (even if it technically has a more neutral, Greek origin, but scratch that, current fluff writers aren't the authors of the RoC and just because it's a daemon doesn't mean it knows jack shit about history). In conversations with mortals they actually like or at least tolerate, daemons often call themselves "Neverborn", and many Chaos worshippers prefer to use this term.

===[[Warhammer Fantasy]]===
In Fantasy they are made of [[Warhammer Magic|magic]], the source of (most) of which is the Realm of Chaos, and feed upon/inspire certain emotions in mortal beings. Thanks to the magical nature of the world, Daemons have little trouble manifesting within the world if they can find entrance to it. Indeed, any place that the Winds of Magic linger for too long can create Daemons of various kinds which will usually haul themselves towards the nearest place living (usually sapient) beings are found and wreak havoc, and after being "slain" find themselves within the Realm of Chaos for the first time. They can possess hosts, although the weak mortal frames limit their power and usually this is only done to commit acts of mischief.

===[[Warhammer 40,000]]===
In [[Warhammer 40,000]] they are manifestations of the psychic emotions of psychically powerful species and individuals, like [[humanity]] and [[Eldar]]. They reside in the chaotic and hellish psychic dimension known as the Warp.
Daemons can only enter realspace under certain conditions, like being summoned in a ceremony or crossing through a warp rift. Even then, because they are made of warp energy and solidified emotion, they don't last long outside of the Warp, so in order to stick around, they have to either drag the Warp into realspace (resulting in a [[Daemon World]] in extreme circumstances) or be bound in a host. [[Psykers]] are the preferred choice of host, especially the powerful and uncontrolled ones, and they also happen to be a favourite method of opening [[Warp]] rifts -- their powers make them shine in the Warp, which attracts daemons like moths to a flame; all the daemons have to do is wait for the psyker's control to falter, and move in to take possession.
Sometimes, [[Heresy|stupid people]] try to become a daemon, often a cult committing mass suicide, in order for their souls to fuse, much like what the Emperor did, but instead of reincarnating (since they can't), their souls will then join and become a daemon, because of their chaotic natures. Since souls are not sentient, someone's soul is not him, [[FAIL|and it doesn't count as immortality]]. Daemon-Prince-hood however does, but you will suffer an eternity of Derp from Games Workshop.

===Types===
Ever since the ancient Realms of Chaos sourcebooks, daemons have been divided into three groups: Greater Daemons, Lesser Daemons, and Daemonic Creatures.

==== Greater Daemons ====
Greater Daemons are the most powerful of the Chaos God's immortal servants, and it's Very Bad News when they arrive in the real world. They are also the most difficult to banish, as they inevitably have tremendously long names, not to mention enough power to give any would-be banishers a hard time. Fortunately for those living in realspace, Greater Daemons are also the most difficult to summon: they require great sacrifices and elaborate ceremonies to even enter the real world, and will not last long without continued exposure to [[Warp]] energy. Unfortunately, where Greater Daemons go, hordes of lesser daemons inevitably follow. Greater Daemons are capable of independent thought and are highly intelligent, though this intelligence is heavily influenced by the emotions that form them. However, old fluff (the Realm of Chaos 5th edition army book from [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle|WFB]]) claimed they do not actually have a true personality or even a consciousness-they were simply hollow husks who did [[just as planned|their master's bidding]] and are merely extensions of their god's presence. Any Daemon with a sort of will of their own was instead a [[Daemon Prince]]. This is no longer canon, as former Daemon Princes are now Greater Daemons. Some Greater Daemons are in fact mortals who were particularly revered by their chosen god (barring [[Dechala]], who was just Slaanesh being a troll). Greater Daemons are also stated to have their own goals independent of their Chaos God, usually by just not advancing any greater goal but at times can even be a hindrance to the greater plans of Chaos; this is always met with forgiveness, as any punishment from a Chaos God is ridiculously rare for any Daemonic being (to date the only intentional punishments have been two Daemonettes who disobeyed Slaanesh, and one Greater Daemon who quite literally declared war on Khorne himself). Some players from either game have used this to justify more..."interesting" Daemon armies, such as the [[Carnival of Chaos]] or towns which have been taken over by Daemons.

Khorne's Greater Daemons are [[Bloodthirster]]s, giant axe-wielding warriors with massive leather wings. They are [[Angry Marines|always angry, all the time]]. There are eight hosts of Bloodthirster, each of the eight possess their own lethal skills, armaments and title. Those of the eighth host, for example, are known as Bloodthirsters of Unfettered Fury. These monstrous beings are skilled if unsubtle generals and, armed with their infamous
combination of axe and whip, are most often seen commanding Khorne’s daemonic legions in their attacks on realspace. By comparison, those of the sixth rank, known as Bloodthirsters of Insensate Rage, are berserk destroyers who wield immense axes as tall as a fortress gate. Nothing can stand before such terrors on the battlefield, and the Daemons of Khorne are drawn instinctively on in the wake of their furnace-hot fury. The infamous Bloodthirsters of the third host, meanwhile, are known as the Wrath of Khorne. These beings are fire-breathing braggarts, hunters after glory who delight in humbling the mightiest heroes of the foe and butchering them in the name of their bloody lord.

Slaanesh's Greater Daemons are [[Keeper of Secrets|Keepers of Secrets]], each carefully formed to tempt their foes and each looking to experience as many sensations as possible. Their appearance depends on <s>Slaanesh's mood</s> GW's policy at the time of creating them.

Nurgle's Greater Daemons are [[Great Unclean One]]s, whose joviality is infectious...literally. They are so plague-ridden that they excrete daemons from every available opening. Mmm, is that [[Grimdark]] enough for you?

Tzeentch's Greater Daemons are [[Lord of Change|Lords of Change]], bird-like sorcerer daemons capable of predicting the future. They like to make [[Just as planned|plans]].

Malal's Greater Daemons are "Guardian of Contradictions", looking like giant daemon goats with a woman's head for a tail (wtf). So far they are the closest interpretation we can get on what they actually look like. The name is only fanwankery based on concept art by [[Tony Ackland]] for Malal's Daemons which was never made into models.

Great Horned Rat's Greater Daemons are [[Verminlord]]s, miniature versions of himself which represent his values (all of which are simply acting like a massive asshole) as well as the values of the Skaven clans (e.g. killing, defiling, killing, proliferating and killing).

Like the Heralds, which are Exalted Lesser Daemons, there are also Exalted Greater Daemons (Exalted Bloodthirster, Exalted Lord of Change, Exalted Great Unclean One, Exalted Keeper of Secrets, and Exalted Verminlord.) They are usable in [[Storm of Magic]] as Bound Monsters - creatures summoned through the Warp and binded to their summoners through Bound Scrolls. That doesn't stop them from NOMMING their masters given the chance, though.

In 40K, only the Exalted Bloodthirsters are mentioned. Eight of them belonged to the First Host and answer only to Khorne. Each of them commands eight Bloodthirsters of the second host, each of the second host commands eight of the third host, and so on.

==== Lesser Daemons ====
The lesser daemons are the most common sort, and serve as the foot soldiers for the legions of [[Chaos]]. Each one is roughly on par with a couple of [[Empire]] soldiers in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] (generally stronger in close combat, but mostly lacking ranged attacks), or a [[Space Marine]]/[[Imperial Guard]] stormtrooper in [[Warhammer 40,000]]; they form the Core of a [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] Daemons of Chaos army, and the Troops of a [[Warhammer 40,000]] Chaos Daemons army.

It's worth noting that the canon for many of the Daemons was changed by [[Phil Kelly|this fucker]]. The entire nature of the Daemons in general was mutated in his WH40K Daemon codex, and arguably not for the better. Whilst Bloodletters and Screamers are largely unchanged, Daemonettes were changed in both fluff and function (originally they were engineered by Slaanesh from [[Eldar]] souls to be both seductive AND deadly in combat, although they remain so in Fantasy) and Nurgle Daemons were changed dramatically (as was Nurgle's Rot, which changed from a survivable-if-formidable daemon-pox to a daemon-spawned [[AIDS]] with no cure that makes eventually makes you a Plaguebearer <s>no matter what</s> unless you commit suicide or die before you start worshipping Nurgle, which makes about as much sense as [[Wat|this]], but whatever).

[[Khorne]]'s lesser daemons are [[Bloodletter]]s. They are disciplined as they march to battle, but they tear into enemies like nobody's business on the charge. They take skulls for the skull throne. Like Daemonettes, they underwent a significant model change for one edition, then went back to their old appearance but revamped to higher quality.

[[Slaanesh]]'s lesser daemons are the [[Daemonette]]s (though they are not all female all the time, despite what the name might suggest). They can take whatever form is required to beguile their foes as they close in for the kill, though some browsers of [[/tg/]] like them just the way they usually are. Their models have varied over the years from somewhat attractive bald sharp-toothed humanoids to six-titted graylings (you'll learn very quickly that Slaanesh has a rather noticeable tit fetish, as well as every other fetish out there, most likely).

[[Nurgle]]'s lesser daemons are [[Plaguebearer|Plaguebearers]]. They are generally stoic creatures who are born from the souls of people who died of [[Nurgle|Nurgle's Rot]]. Their models have pretty much never changed, always being swollen-gutted decaying horned cyclops things. Yum.

[[Tzeentch]]'s lesser daemons are [[Horror]]s. They start out pink-colored, hyperactive and batshit insane, and when they are destroyed, they split into two blue horrors which are morose and cynical little bastards. Their models started out as oversized heads with long spindly arms and legs, but they underwent a design change into big-mouthed tangles of tentacles and arms and have stayed like that pretty much ever since.

[[Malal]]'s lesser daemons are Hook Horrors, which are once again just concept art made by Ackland for Games Workshop. They have two hook claws (hence the name) but overall they look like a cheap Halloween costume that resembles an anorexic crow whose head has been reduced to a bird-like skull.

The Chaos Gods of Order (who only existed in Warhammer Fantasy) lacked proper Daemons. One among them, [[Solkan the Avenger]], blessed mortal [[Witch Hunters]] to wage war against his Chaotic Chaos kin in the physical world instead.

[[Fury|Furies]] can be thought of as lesser daemons of [[Chaos Undivided]], although "Chaos Undecided" might be a more accurate description -- they served the Gods of Chaos, but did not devote themselves strongly to any one before dying.

==== Daemonic Creatures ====
Daemonic servants and creatures can be more powerful than lesser daemons, but are generally less intelligent. Some, classified as daemonic ''steeds'', may be ridden or otherwise directed by a suitably impressive lesser daemon, or even a lucky mortal servant, while others, classified as daemonic ''beasts'', are simply turned loose on the enemy and left to their own devices.

Khorne's daemonic steeds are [[Juggernaut|Juggernauts]], metal-skinned dog/rhino/lizard-creatures with molten blood, and his beasts are the [[Flesh Hound|Flesh Hounds]] (calling them "Khorne Dogs" earns your skull a place under Khorne's ass) which are sent to hunt Khorne's enemies (including his own servants, if they displease him). Bloodletters who managed to tame and ride Juggernauts are called "[[Bloodcrushers_of_Khorne|Bloodcrushers]]." Flesh Hounds are also used as mounts, although mostly by mortals like [[Arbaal]].

Slaanesh's daemonic steeds are "[[Steeds of Slaanesh]]" (which has ''got'' to be a sex pun), and his/her beasts are called [[Fiends of Slaanesh]]. Daemonettes who ride Mounts of Slaanesh are called "Seekers." Both Fiends and Mounts feature body parts from lots of creatures, and have long tongues (all the better to 'taste' their prey, if you know what we mean...) and rows of human breasts (there's that tit fetish again).

Nurgle's daemonic steeds are "Palanquins of Nurgle" (it's a sedan chair towed by [[Nurgling]]s) and his beasts are the uncreatively named [[Beast of Nurgle|Beasts of Nurgle]]. You MUST play with them, otherwise they get bitter and become something else called Rot Flies, which are, who would have guessed, giant rotting flies with spear-sized stings. [[Storm of Magic|Two]] [[Tamurkhan: Throne of Chaos|splatbooks]] claim Nurgle has another (technically third, if one counts the aforementioned Rot Flies and Beast of Nurgle as being the same) daemonic creature in the form of the [[Plague Toads]], huge diseased frog-things that can swallow humans whole and which all other Nurgle daemons look down on. The second even claims that there's a counterpart to Plague Drones in the form of "Pox Riders", which are Plaguebearers clinging to Plague Toads as they hop into battle.

Tzeentch's daemonic steeds are [[Screamers of Tzeentch|Screamers]], giant manta rays that are called "Discs of Tzeentch" as when someone is riding them, Screamers somehow transform into discs. Needless to say, it's not pleasant for the Screamer. His beasts are called [[Flamers of Tzeentch|Flamers]] (not to be confused with the [[flamer]] weapon), since they look like they are made of fire.

Malal's daemon steeds are "Limbo-Ticks of the Anti-God" and his beasts are "Malal's Paradoxes of Pandemonium", both of which resembles every single arachnophobe's worst nightmare. The latter is usually colored black, grey and white like all things Malal-ish and have a fuckhuge maw meant for potential OMNOMNOMNOM with two sickle like claws to boot, while the former has the body of a giant louse with monkey like limbs and a giant human-like skull with a equally giant horn on it. Like the others, this is just /tg/'s name for Ackland's artwork.

====Daemons of Order====
While [[Chaos Gods of Law]] existed in earlier editions of Warhammer Fantasy, none were ever given Daemons. This changed with [[Age of Sigmar]] when the entire [[Lizardmen]] army were refluffed as "Seraphon" which have light magic running through their veins which is as corrupting to Chaos as Chaos is to mortals; Saurus blood can cleanse any of Nurgle's plagues, rots, and diseases, and the Slann are stated to be ahead of their enemies (which includes Tzeentch) in planning thanks to their scrying caste.
[[Sigmar]] also created the [[Sigmarines|<strike>Sigmarines</strike> Stormcast Eternals]] which are mortals forged in magical metal who have the same properties as Daemons.

===Chart===

<center>
{|border=1 cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0
|- align=left
! [[Chaos Gods]]
! [[Greater Daemon]]s
! [[Daemon#Lesser Daemons|Lesser Daemons]]
! Daemonic Servants
! Daemonic Beasts
! Daemonic Steeds
! Mounted
! Chariots
|-
| [[Khorne]] || [[Bloodthirster]] || [[Bloodletter]] || None || [[Flesh Hound]] || [[Juggernaut]] || [[Bloodcrushers of Khorne|Bloodcrusher]] || [[Blood Throne]]/[[Skull Cannon]]
|-
| [[Nurgle]] || [[Great Unclean One]] || [[Plaguebearer]] || [[Nurgling]] || [[Beast of Nurgle]]/[[Plague Toads]] || [[Battle Fly]]/[[Rot Fly]] || [[Plague Drones]]/[[Pox Riders]] || [[Palanquin of Nurgle]]
|-
| [[Slaanesh]] || [[Keeper of Secrets]] || [[Daemonette]] || None || [[Fiends of Slaanesh|Fiend]] || [[Steeds of Slaanesh]] || [[Seekers of Slaanesh]] || [[Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh|Seeker Chariot]]/[[Hellflayer Chariots of Slaanesh|Hellflayer]]
|-
| [[Tzeentch]] || [[Lord of Change]] || [[Horror]]/[[Flamers of Tzeentch|Flamer]] || None || [[Screamers of Tzeentch|Screamer]]/[[Mutalith Vortex Beast]] || [[Disc of Tzeentch]] || None || [[Burning Chariots of Tzeentch|Burning Chariot]]
|-
| [[Malal]] || [[Forces of Malal#Guardian of Contradictions|Guardian of Contradictions]]/[[Forces of Malal#Maidens of Malal|Maiden of Malal]] || [[Forces of Malal#Hook Horror|Hook Horror]] || None || [[Forces of Malal#Pandemonic Paradox of Malal|Paradoxes]] || [[Forces of Malal#Limbo-Ticks of the Anti-God|Limbo-Ticks]]/[[Forces of Malal#Nightmares|Nightmares]] || [[Forces of Malal#Parasite Riders|Parasite Riders]] || None
|-
| [[Great Horned Rat]] || [[Verminlord]] || None || None || None || None || None || None
|-
| [[God-Emperor of Mankind]] || [[Living Saint]] || [[Legion of the Damned|Damned Legionnaire]] || None || None || None || None || None
|}
</center>

=== [[Daemon Prince|Daemon Princes]] ===

For those mortals unfortunate enough to not be daemons to begin with, there is another route to immortality: serve a [[Chaos Gods|Chaos God]] and impress him or her so much that they grant the gift of daemonhood, resulting in an ascension into a [[Daemon Prince]]. In terms of power, they are typically only second to greater daemons, but a few especially strong mortal followers of chaos (traitor primarchs being the most famous) become more powerful than most greater daemons upon ascending. This is the ultimate goal of [[PC]]s in the [[Black Crusade]] roleplaying game, and indeed most worshipers of [[Chaos]] with even an ounce of ambition. Unfortunately, the Gods' attentions are fickle; would-be Daemon Princes who fall short of expectations may find themselves transformed into [[Chaos Spawn]] for their failures... Fuck. '''GLARBLRAWRGLARBL'''

Also, among followers of chaos, there are those who know that in the warp, the souls of dead men and women are actually devoured by the [[Chaos Gods]]; many of them actively try to escape this fate ([[Rape]]) by becoming Demon Princes.

===Exalted Daemon===

A sadly short-lived concept, '''Exalted Daemons''' were introduced in the [[Hordes of Chaos]] army book for [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles]], and can be seen as the "[[Chaos]]-Loyal" analogue to the [[Daemonhost]], or alternatively a Fantasy based, character tier version of the [[Possessed]]. Exalted Daemons are [[Chaos Champion]]s who haven't earned the moxie to be turned into Daemon Princes, but have earned special attention, which results in a Daemon possessing and merging with their body. Attendant fluff implies that, unlike conventional possession victims, Exalted Daemons are fusions of mortal and daemonic soul, with the original inhabitant still being conscious and having some influence, rather than dead or pushed aside.

Mechanically, Exalted Daemons were essentially lower-grade Daemon Princes, using up two Hero choices instead of that editions 1 Lord choice + 1 Hero choice. They had one less point in Weapon Skill, Wounds, Initiative and Leadership than the big Daemon Princes, but the same ability to Fly, cause Terror, bear a Mark Of Chaos, and a Unit Strength of 5. They could be Sorcerers, maxing out at level 2, and wield up to 50 points of Daemonic Gifts.

=== Daemon Engines ===

Some daemons can be combined with machinery to create mighty [[Daemon Engine]]s; this gives them some actual structural integrity and lasting power, as they are now firmly anchored in reality. The really big ones are made by the Forge of Souls, while others are made by [[Warpsmiths]].
Some Daemon Engines are aligned with one of the Chaos Gods, while others (like [[Defiler]]s and Soul Grinders) serve [[Chaos Undivided]].
Even WFB has these in the forms of the Skull Cannon, Blood Throne, and Burning Chariot (and arguably the Hellflayer Seeker Chariot, even if it is not possessed), which are like [[awesome|possessed war machines mounted on top of possessed chariots]] as well as the Soul Grinder (which exists in 40k as well, though it only has a stone thrower arm rather than cannons everywhere).
Now that [[Chaos Dwarves]] are back as a regular WFB army, albeit made entirely by [[Forgeworld]], they seems to be rather fond of Daemon Engines and pack a whole lot of them, including a [[Awesome|daemon-possessed, steam-powered train which carries other war machines all around the battlefield while firing its giant cannon/crashing into the enemy lines mauling people with giant-sized pickaxes]].

=== Half-Daemons ===
Although the rules of how Daemons work is explicitly stated (beings made of pure magic using it to give the illusion of physical form in Fantasy or beings made of pure thought energy possessing a body and changing the rules of reality to exist like they do in their special imagination land in 40k), Games Workshop is the company where one of their [[Gav Thorpe|top writers]] once said "There are as many Elves as the plot demands" to explain inconsistencies in lore between dying race that can't afford any casualties and one that suffers millions as a victory being the exact same race in the exact same novels.

As a result Daemons, who do not possess physical bodies of their own, can somehow leave behind remnants like skulls and entrails whereas in other sources they disappear when struck down since they don't actually exist in the same sense as the beings that "killed" them.
Also beings who have no sexual origin, and the vast majority have no sex anything since that wasn't a component of their creation, can reproduce with mortals.

A handful of characters called or calling themselves half-Daemon have existed in both settings throughout the years (as well as [[Blood Bowl]] of course where the non-footbal rules are made up on the spot and never adhered to). Generally speaking these are from old or iffy lore sources, but one recent character does exist. For the [[End Times]] <strike>clusterfuck</strike> <strike>abortion</strike> <strike>monkey's paw result</strike> event a large kit of the Maggot Riders who ride giant maggots called [[Pox Maggots]] and serve Nurgle were released. One of the three riders was named [[Orghotts Daemonspew]] the "Bastard King of Icehorn Peak". His mother was a mortal witch (in the more classic sense of the word) and his father was a Great Unclean One (have fun imagining it). Icehorn exists on the rim between reality and the Warp, where Daemons are as much the people of the land as humans. Orghotts has an extremely long lifespan thanks to his half-Daemon nature, and longs to actually physically reach Nurgle's Garden which appears to him sometimes in his kingdom. He leads Daemon and Chaos human armies across the world, seeking not to become a Daemon Prince but be blessed by Nurgle into becoming a full-fledged Daemon alongside his father. The diseases produced within his own body have killed more than the armies he's lead, and beings connected to Nurgle know by smell that he's one of the "royal family" so to speak.

So why can a Great Unclean One have a son? Because there are as many Elves as the plot demands, of course!
Can a Daemonette or a Bloodletter make babby? So long as there are enough elves, meaning as long as the plot demands it!

===True Names===
Daemons tend to hide their true names by giving themselves false ones. This is due to the fact that they can be banished if their true name should ever be uttered. The downside about true names is that all true names are quite a mouthful. Daemons' true names are very hard to pronounce if you aren't well a trained [[psyker]] like a [[Librarian]] or a full-fledged [[Inquisitor]], and can actually make your throat sore. There was even one instance that uttering their true names can actually make your mouth literally burn. Some ridiculously powerful daemons, especially those of [[Tzeentch]], have incredibly long names. One, recorded in the books of the [[Grey Knights]], had a ten-minute long true name and quite a few Knights died attempting to perform the banishment rituals... though once they got to reciting it, there apparently wasn't much it could do to stop them.

==="Daemons" of the Emperor===
It has been speculated by some both within the Imperium and those outside of it that the nature of beings such as Living Saints, the Legion of the Damned and the [[Sanguinor]] might lie closer to the servants of the Chaos Gods then most would feel comfortable with. They are likely made of the same warp-stuff as traditional Daemons and both appear and disappear in the same manner, though seemingly of either their own power or that of the Emperor's, usually to assist struggling Imperial forces. Further evidence for this is presented during the fall of [[Cadia]], for when the Cadian Pylons briefly were brought fully online, the Legion forces present dissipated with the rest of the Daemons and [[Saint Celestine]] had much of her power suppressed. It serves as another piece of fairly solid proof that the Emperor is on the verge of godhood, if he isn't one already.

Of course, to even consider any of the above is tantamount to HERESY of the worst sort, so it's best to just go along with it.

===See Also===
*[[Chaos]]
*[[Chaos Gods]]
*[[Warhammer/Tactics/Daemons of Chaos]]
*[[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Chaos Daemons(8E)]]
*[[Daemons Mod]]: The [[Dawn of War]] [[Dawn of War Mods|Mod]] that brings this army to DoW players.

{{Chaos-Daemons}}
{{Chaos Space Marines}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]

Trazyn the Infinite

2018-02-24T18:37:10Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List */

{{MattWard}}
[[File:Trazyn.jpg|300px|right|thumb|He's come to steal your shit! (Probably literally, if it's rare enough) And if you're (un)lucky, he might even steal you.]]
'''Trazyn the Infinite''', also known as '''Trollzyn the [[Tarpit]] Breaker''' and '''Trazyn the Grave Robber''', is the best [[Necron]] Overlord/Phaeron (while ''technically'' his title is Overlord, he has his own Overlord subordinates and rule his own little empire like Phaeron). Basically what you'll get if you combined Doctor Doom, a [[Tomb King]], a [[Blood Ravens|Bloody Magpie]] and the Terminator.

Trazyn the Infinite, ruler of the [[Tomb World]] named Solemence (which happens to be a Dyson Sphere powered by a [[C'tan]]), is a self-proclaimed preserver of histories, artifacts and events. In his possession are technologies and relics that are so valuable as to be priceless. Amongst his collection are the fabled wraithbone choir of Altansar, the preserved head of [[Sebastian Thor]], the ossified husk of an Enslaver '''and a suit of baroque power armour, complete with the Space Marine who was still wearing it.''' (<s>Who according to a recent White Dwarf issue hints that it may or may not be [[Vulkan]]</s> It's a Custodes.) This means that he is the only creature in this or any other universe that rivals the stealing power of the [[Blood Ravens]]. In such a dangerous galaxy, Trazyn is loath to go out and explore it himself, but with so many exquisite artifacts to see and catalogue, he cannot afford to miss out. As a result he will send out substitutes of himself to do his dirty work. On the battlefield this can become increasingly irritating, as killing what appears to be Trazyn may simply be a [[Lychguard]] or a Necron Lord. Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, the real Trazyn is busy smashing his way through his foes to get his metal hands on his latest acquisition.

(That's how the fluff handles it; the crunch rules imply that he simply takes over the body of another Lord, Lychguard, or [[Cryptek]]. He was there; you killed him; he just ran like the troll he is. [[Butthurt|Oh, and you didn't]] [[Alpha Legion|get Slay The Warlord by the way.]] Just imagine this guy politely trolling with the voice of Terl from Battlefield Earth : "Oh, dear ! What a wonderful contingent of Imperial Guards ! I shall thank you with all my heart, General, for this marvelous gift. Please tell them to strike a nice pose while I prepare a stasis grenade...")

/tg/ has gained a fondness for him, due to his thieving ways, his Doctor Doom-esque body doubles, and his polite yet [[Troll|trollish]] attitude, he is also known for using completely self-evident aliases, which nevertheless seem to work quite well. It is generally agreed that he is one of the only good things Matt Ward has ''ever'' put into the [[fluff]].

"A war-torn city in the [[Ultramar]] system. The [[Ultramarines]], aided by an [[Imperial Guard]] regiment led by Lord Castellan Ursarkar [[Creed]], prepares to face an [[Ork]] incursion in a final battle. The Orks are numerous, but the [[Imperium]] has the upper hand, just barely, as Lord Creed's tactical genius has proven invaluable. As the Orks begin their final assault on the city, the Ultramarines ready their defenses. Creed, ever oddly silent, gazes intently at a large flagpole in the center of town, watching through binocs as the Orks' charge is funneled towards the center of the city. Suddenly, as the Orks near the square, the tip of a [[Baneblade]]'s main gun can be seen coming around the flagpole. The great tank begins to emerge from behind the thin metal object, perfectly and impossibly concealed. It begins to move into its firing arc, and a great shout is heard from the [[Warboss]] down below, just barely carrying over the rest of the din. "CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" Suddenly, the cry cuts off in confusion, as Creed spits out his cigar. Where the Baneblade once stood, there is air, thin air. Not a trace remains of the enormous tank. It has vanished completely. Then, gradually, a green, crackling, electrical rune appears hanging in the air where the Baneblade was. It extends gracefully, for its platonic geometric form. If Creed was given to poetry, he might even say it resembled a rose. But he knew better. A rage he had felt only once before began to boil deep within, and his cry shook the world as the Orkish tide began to hack his guardsmen and the Marines to pieces. "TRAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYN!"

==From [[Matt Ward|Ward]] Himself==
"Trazyn's also no slouch in combat. Whenever his empathic obliterator kills an enemy, it has a chance to kill all other enemies of the same type in the same combat - perfect for Ork mobs. This isn't so useful against characters, but that's why Trazyn also carries a clutch of mindshackle scarabs - why kill an enemy when you can take over his mind and have him kill for you...?"oh wait nope, mss are now just a useful fear test.So now the only real use you'll find for him in a duel is whacking them with a stick.

==Letter to Inquisitor Valeria==
This is the (in)famous little piece of fluff that has made Trazyn so likeable to /tg/, contrasting nicely with all the grim darkness around. Do note that it is unclear whether he's straight serious, indulging in some elaborate trolling or even both at once.

''Dear Lady, let me express my fulsome appreciation for your most generous gift. It is so very rare to discover another of my own kind that appreciates my work, therefore to find understanding amongst a member of another race is nothing short of a revelation. I realise that you briefly trod my galleries, but the fact that you spotted in so short a time that my Acabrius War collection was lacking three regiments of Catachan warriors reveals that you truly have a collector's eye for detail. And to send five regiments! Such generosity will allow me to weed out and replace a few of the more substandard pieces in my collection. If I might level a minor criticism, the instructions issued to your gift were manifestly not as clear as you thought, as most of them had to be forcibly restrained. Sadly it seems that the lower orders will always behave like an army of invasion, whether that be their purpose or not. However, this is a minor complaint and seems almost churlish under the circumstances, so please allow me to repay your gift with one of my own. Accompanying this message is the Hyperstone Maze, one of a series of Tesseract Labyrinths constructed at the height of the Charnovokh Dynasty. It is a trinket really, only of interest to scholars such as you and I, but I trust you will find it amusing; assuming you have the wit to escape its clutches, of course.''

==The Infinite List of Dickings==
[[File:Trazyn2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Daww]]
Trazyn is universally regarded as a <strike>[[Eldrad|huge dick]]</strike> pretty fun guy to be around due to his <strike>[[Blood Ravens|rampant kleptomania]]</strike> erudition and wit. Here is a list of his <strike>crimes</strike> many-splendored accomplishments, compiled for the <strike>warning</strike> edification of /tg/.

* Killed five invading regiments of Catachans, then turned them into [[Wargame|miniatures for his collection.]]
** Sent [[Inquisitor Valeria]] fan mail (maybe, we can't tell if he was being sarcastic in the letter) attached to an armed tesseract labyrinth [[Blood Ravens|as a reward for "gifting" him said Catachan regiments.]] Being a true gentleman, when Valeria managed to unravel said tesseract labyrinth and use it 'safely', he took it with good grace and they became pen pals of sorts... [[Grimdark|But since no good deed stays unpunished]], as of Fall of Cadia Trazyn has revealed that while Valeria became his human waifu for some time she eventually got [[blam|BLAM'med]] for consorting with xenos, hence why he releases Greyfax the Angery instead of getting Valeria to tag along (Just as planned? How about Tau start summoning daemons for battle? And maybe Orks start building their own webway.)
* Banned from the Necron throne world of Mandragora after trying to [[Ork|loot]] [[Imotekh the Stormlord|Imotekh's]] staff.
** [[Troll|Pops in whenever he feels like it anyway.]]
* Stole Sebastian Thor's [[wat|head]]. Maybe (there's like five other museums claiming to have his skeleton; the only reason Trazyn stands out is because his Thor head is preserved in a jar, rather than a skull).
* Took the World Spirit Shrine of Carnac, an [[Exodite]] world as a trophy for helping to conquer it.
* Uses other Necron Lords as body doubles [[Troll|without telling them.]]
* Told the [[Ultramarines|greatest amongst us all]] he was old pals with [[Roboute Guilliman|Rawbutt Girlyman.]] Considering that one of the pokeballs he unleashed against Chaos at the Fall of Cadia was a bunch of Ultramarines fresh from the [[Great Scouring|aftermath of the Horus Heresy]], he might be telling the truth ("old pals" by his definition, of course. (Wait a second, how the fuck was Trazyn around during the Horus Heresy to steal some ultrasmurfs if the Necrons have only started waking up at the eve of the 41st millennium? God dammit GeeDubs. If the answer is 'time travel' I'm going to have an aneurysm)).
** And then informed them that maybe [[Troll|he was going to take Papa Smurf, as he'd be better off with him than in the company of the Ultramarines.]]
*** And with Rowboat coming back, [[Yvraine|somehow]], for 40k End Times, we might actually get to see how the two know each other. If they actually do. There's every possibility that [[troll|Trollzyn was just lying]].
* <s>Has a fucking PRIMARCH stored at his pad, supposedly... Possibly Vulkan according to White Dwarf.</s> This has been retconned, Trazyn managed to capture one of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] for his collection.
*Told Vulkan He'stan he had the Song of Entropy, luring the Salamanders into a 10-year war with the Necrons. At the end of it, Trazyn pretty much said "just kidding, I don't have the Song of Entropy," as he tried to steal the Spear of Vulkan. Kind of back fired when [[Vulkan He'stan]] decided to just give him the Spear. ''Tip'' first. He'stan was pretty pissed when he learned Trazyn just jumped into another body.
** Twice.
*Invaded the Imperial planet of Midgardia and nabbed a C'tan shard of Nyadra'zatha, despite [[Logan Grimnar]]'s attempts to stop him. It's notable that he pulled this off in Logan's own codex supplement, where most other battles in the book were a resounding Space Wolf victory. To be fair, Space Wolves destroying (and thus accidentally freeing) a C'tan shard would make them look like an assholes. I mean even more assholes than they already are.
**In retribution, Logan hunted him down to another planet, Vhaloth IV, and ended up kicking Imotekh's ass instead. ([[Just As Planned]]. The dick deserved it for hanging on to his staff anyway.)
* Captured an Ork warboss and the Deathwatch kill team that was hunting said warboss, and sat them in front of each other in his collection for all eternity. And he double-checked they were both still self-aware, just to feel them suffer.
* Caught a bunch of tech priests evacuating from the necron invasion of Magogue, and set them up in stasis as a monument to that planet's fall. Notable because he pulled it off in the Skitarii codex. Trazyn's apparently the go-to guy for being able to win outside of his own codex.
* May or may not be the one pulling the strings behind the events of [[Xenology]], as probably he won't have any problems impersonating a C'tan shard.
* Has been hanging out on Cadia for who knows how long as the "man of iron" which all but confirms the pylons are necrons made.
* Steals Creed himself after the fall of Cadia.
* Steals Papa Smurfs' (The Ultramarine bloke that can't spell Robert properly) pillow from his lumber.
* Stole an Emperor's Children's gene-seed tithe ship containing thousands of progenoids.
* Traded it for the only perfect clone of [[Fulgrim]], thus dashing the only hope of the Third Legion rebuilding itself and becoming more than a bunch of depraved sick fucks.

==Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List==
[[File:TrazynAndDiomedes.jpg|thumb|right|300px|There can only be one true magpie.]]
*Old one eye's lost eye
*Kartoth the Bloodhunger, both so he can say he won the game as well as rip holes to go back in time for more collecting.
*[[Abaddon]]. No, really, that's (one of) the reason(s) he came to Cadia in the first place: he wants to add the Warmaster of Chaos to his collection!
*[[Saint Celestine]]. (Go read The ''Fall of [[Cadia]]'', this is not a joke!)
*A lock of the Emperor's hair (Assuming it hasn't rotted away by the time he gets to Terra).
*[[Magnus the Red|Magnus the Red's]] favourite eye.
*An 8th edition Sisters of Battle codex.
**An 8th edition box set of plastic sisters.
*The [[Sanguinor]] in a stasis field.
* One Sister of battle issue vibrator from each Order with viewing martial.
*<s>A living Tyranid zoo (no stuffed dolls for our old collector). Would be much easier to accomplish if 'Nids didn't try to keep the fuck away from Necrons and their worlds.</s> Never mind. He gave up on this one after his specimens broke out of their exhibit and ate half of Solemnace. Attempting to redo it on another planet near Solemnace.
*One of each type of Eldar Aspect Warrior, arranged in complementing color order.
*Each [[Phoenix Lord]], including the fallen Ahra or Drazhar (just in case he's Ahra); bonus points for the originals. Otherwise, something from them, such as one of [[Asurmen]]'s twin-linked [[Shuriken Catapult]]s or a lock of [[Jain Zar]]'s hair (bonus points for getting things from all of their incarnations).
*A signed autograph from each Primarch. (Still asking [[Orikan the Diviner|Orikan]] for "access" to his time machine so he can get one from [[Ferrus Manus]], [[Horus]], [[Sanguinius]], and [[Konrad Curze]] since they're all presently busy being dead.)
*A signed autograph from each chaos god.
*A sweet ride so he can cruise the galaxy looking for new junk.
*The [[Baneblade#Fortress of Arrogance|Fortress of Arrogance]], preferably with [[Commissar Yarrick]] as well.
*[[Sammael|Sammael's]] Jetbike.
*A [[Pauldron|shoulder pad]] from each space marine chapter (Pre-heresy legions and post-heresy chapters all together of course, going for the complete set!)
*A Space Marine from each of the first Legions (this collection would be easily finished if not for the fact that he cant find any marines from the two missing legions).
*A painting of one of the Emprah, Tzeentch, Cegorach, and the Deceiver's card games.
*A circus filled with nothing but Eldar Harlequins.
*A <s>school report and childhood items</s> first set of kid-sized slave shackles of Asdrubael Vect.
*A garage filled with one of each type of the Imperial Guard's tanks.
*A feather from Sanguinus's wing.
*An Imperial Titan that has been CREEEEEEEDed.
**A snap shot of the look on Abaddon's face upon seeing aforementioned Titan in the middle of his battle line, shouting CREEEEEEEED
*Abbadon's arms. Creed hid them so well that even Trazyn is having trouble finding them.
*A matching pair of [[Angry Marine]] Powerfeet.
*A pair of a Sisters Of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties from each Order, stolen from their quarters while they are asleep. Is surprisingly hard to pull off, even for Trazyn.
*A set of [[Lelith Hesperax|Lelith Hesperax's]] Combat Attire after a fight. This is even harder to pull of than the Sisters of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties.
*One of the fingers from the Talon of Horus.
*Slaanesh's entire porn collection.
*One of Ferrus Manus's hands. He isn't picky which.
*An [[Imperial Knight]] from each house.
*The Panacea STC.
**And since [[Lady Malys]] got there first, anything cool she owns, as well as a selfie with her before and after she realizes he stole her stuff.
*The Eye of Horus. As in the ''actual'' Eye.
*Commander [[Puretide]] and/or [[Farsight|all]] [[Shadowsun|of his]] [[Shas'O Kais|students]].
*A calm and rational [[World Eaters|World Eater]] marine.
*A clean and disease free [[Death Guard]] marine.
*A [[Emperor's Children]] marine who shows restraint.
*Alive and fleshy non-sorcerer [[Thousand Sons|Thousand Son]] marine. (As of Ahriman: Unchanged, there is now exactly one of these)
*Remnants of the Inquisitorial acolyte who died of old age. Ones aged by a [[Hrud|Hrud's]] entropic field do not count.
*The cure for the [[Red Thirst]].
**A photo of The Blood Angels' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them.(bonus for [[Dante]]'s reaction with his mask off)
*The cure for the Curse of the Wulfen.
**A photo of The Space Wolves' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them.
*The right hands of [[Helbrecht]], [[Eldorath Starbane]] and anyone else who had their right hands cut off by Imotekh.
*At least one [[Jokaero]].
**And anything they make/modify.
*A [[Female Space Marines|Female Space Marine]].
*As many [[Catgirl|catgirls]] as possible.
**Along with a selfie with each of them.
***And as many [[Kitsune|kitsunes]] as possible, along with selfies and a shrine to their name.
*Any 100% reliable information about Alpha Legion.
*Any 100% reliable information about Alfa Legion.
*The Blood Ravens Armoury. Since most of the above was already "gifted" to the Chapter.
*A machine to control the [[Warp]] so he can create impossible things.
*A complete and unblemished cosmetic kit 'gifted' by a [[Pretty Marines]]' Company Captain, still with a wrapping bow attached. (Getting one each from both Loyalist and Chaos Pretty Marines Captains would be even better!)
*The very [[Ethereal|Ethereals]] who united the [[Tau]] race back when they were limited to only their homeworld, or their bodies.
*A picture with Kharn.
*One of each type of Imperial Assassin in the position they held before trying to kill him. This wouldn't be so problematic if it wasn't for the fact that he has yet to convince the Assassinorium to send a Culexus assassin against him.
*A 1st Edition copy of the [[Codex Astartes]] with Roboute Guilliman's autograph on the dust jacket.
*A recording of Warboss [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] famous: "Wez gonna Waagh!"speech.
*A prison capable of holding [[Cypher]], containing the man himself.
*<s>A STC detailing how to finally have enough Dakka</s>. '''*KRUMP* HERE...HERESESS...BLOODY 'ELL WHOTEVER DAT WORD IS YOU 'UMIES KEEP SAYIN' BEFORE Y'SHOOTS EACHUVVER!'''
*<s> An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Warhammer Fantasy.
*An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Lord of the Rings.</s> (Trazyn has now accomplished this according to some writefaggotry posted on fanfiction.net. Much nerd [[rage]] shall ensue. You have been warned.)
*<s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Wars.</s> (He has also accomplished this due to MORE Writefaggotry on Fanfiction.net.)
*An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Trek (Risky, considering the technologies in Star Trek, he just might actually end up as a collectible himself or be tracked back to his home dimension).
*All the NON-Grimdarkness of the 41st millennium in a bottle. So nothing in bottle then.
*[[Temperus Maximus]]' Adamantium Cigar. Trazyn almost managed to loot this, but Temperus suddenly called an Orbital Strike on top of himself before this happened. Temperus' armor received minor scorch marks when the strike ended and Trazyn's body double was obliterated.
*One marine from each chapter of the cursed founding.
*A death corps of Krieg gas mask serial number 0000000000000000000000001.
*Names, addresses and personal phone numbers of the two unknown Primarchs.
*Cardinal Anton Fedelicus and his collected writings, which if introduced would have allowed for a very large degree of sexual freedom to have been integrated into the ecclesiarchical theology without increasing the risk of Slaaneshi corruption.
*A living [[Astral Knights|Astral Knight]].
*A "lucky" [[Lamenters]] marine (also count as one of the cursed founding collection).
*A working time travel device create by the [[Ordo Chronos]] ([[heresy|if it was ever made]]). The purpose for this device being, you guess it, collect more artifact from the past.
*His own body double in an alternative universe, if only he did not manage to turn into [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|dimensional sponge]] in the process or lost to his alternative self in a collection contest.
*A lock of hair from each of the [[Tarkus|infamous]] [[Boreale|baldraven]] [[Diomedes|marines]].
*A "My First Assault Cannon* box set (even better if unopened).
*A photo of the Emperor as a boy.
*As well as all of his photographic recording scatter throughout the time, whether it is rock scribble from the stone age or painting in the Da Vinci Era or the youtube video he has made back in 20XX.
*A [[Squat]].
*A living Boneripper.
*The personal battle standard of [[Gabriel Angelos]] used at his ascension to chapter master.
**The Blood Ravens also want one of Trazyn's personal banners.
*An Ogryn's 'Guardsman's Primer: Colour Book Edition' and matching 'The Great Crayon Crusade' coloring set.
*The oldest dreadnought of each Space Marine chapter.
*Samus' armor.
*The Entire first Season of "If The Emperor had a text-to-speech device" in blue-ray signed by Chapter Master Alfabusa.
*Limited collectors edition of Half life 3(After all, it's only been 38,000 years in development, maybe Valve will finish it before chaos/da WAAAAGH/the Tyranids/Imotekh's ego consumes the entire world!)
*[[Sly Marbo|Sly Marbo's]] personal pistol, though not even Trazyn is willing to try and collect it.
*An actual ork sniper.
*Butlin-Class Titan.
*The [[Men of Iron|Man of Iron]].
*<s>The Cigar Creed always chews but never smokes.</s> Acquired as part of the new Creed exhibit.
*The legs from an Imperial Sentinel (must have attachment for his own legs)
*A list of names of the fallen to wave at the Dark Angels.
*A ham personally provided by the Ordo Draigo.
*A book borrowed from the black library with a selfie of him and Cegorach.
*A picture of himself before he turned to necron.
*The best pole dancer in the Commorragh in a stasis chamber.
*The best pole dancer out of all Slaanesh cultist in a stasis chamber.
*A photograph of a Cyclonic torpedo the moment it impacts the ground.
*A group photo of Thunder Warriors with Arik Taranis and the Emperor.
*An acknowledgement from GW that Malal does indeed exist.
*An actual affordable GW Warhammer 40k miniature from any faction.
*[[Carlos McConnell]], or at least one of his catgirls, in a stasis chamber.
*A jar of [[Skub]].
*The book "[[Standard Template Construct]]" for dummies.
*Sensible [[Blood Angels]].
*Hairless [[Space Wolves]]. Being shaven doesn't count, the Marine has to be hairless naturally.
*A copy of Battletoads.
*The Statue of Liberty, shrunk to 10 feet size and taken from Nova Yourk hive of Merica.
*Blueprint of [[Angron]]'s Butcher's Nails.
*A WW2 Era Luger pistol, original.
*Enough Blood for the [[Khorne|Blood God]].
*Enough Skulls for the Skull Throne.
*One of Roboute Guilliman's new [[Primaris Marines|Super Space Marines]].
*A Pokeball that can Hold a C'tan.
*A Living member of the Interex.
*A Picture of Eldrad and Vect trying to out-dick one another.
*An STC that has technology that will allow him to do some Dark Eldar Drugs.
*A video of Nemesor Zahndrekh putting on glasses and realizing that he is now a Skeleton Robot and the Other Necrontyr are not what they seemed to be
*An member of an Alien race the Imperium actually gets along with. (<s>Pretty damn impossible.</s> ([[Yvraine]]. Next?)
*An Ork who can actually think.
*An Autograph from [[Nagash]].
*A video of Yarrick taking over the Orks. (<s>Only a Matter of time now</s> [[wat|It's mentioned in the 8E rulebook that the Orks and Humans on Armageddon formed an alliance to fight chaos, so this is pretty much canon now.]])
*The Golden Throne. That means Trazyn is not allowed on Holy Terra.
*[[Belisarius Cawl]].
*<s>Enough DAKKA.</s>'''WUT DID WE SAY 'BOUT DAT?'''
*An official GW ninth age tournament.
*[[Farsight#The_Dawn_Blade|The Dawn Blade]].
* A clone of [[Fabius Bile]], not as an exhibit but just to make conversation with. He nearly got one if Fabius Bile didn't decide to trade him his Fulgrim clone instead.
* [[Lorgar|Lorgar's]] diary, the single largest source of [[heresy]] in the universe. He puts this one off due to the aura of discomfort that radiates from anything Lorgar has touched.
* A portal into an alternate past reality where GW doesn't constantly use the Eldar as fluffy punching bags, and where xenos factions actually get as much attention as [[Space Marine|GeeDub's poster boys.]]
* A pyrophobic [[Salamanders (Chapter)|Salamander]].
* The Emperor's text-to-speech device.
* [[Old Man Henderson|Old Man Henderson's]] gnomes.
* All Nintendo World Championship cartridges, both regular and gold.
* One of those [[Noise Marine]] sonic guns that looks like a sweet guitar.
* A member of the Death Korps of Krieg with self-preservation instincts.
* A living [[Sensei]].
* A set of [[Rogue Trader]] era [[Beakie]] Armor.
* The rest of the Blackstone Fortresses.
* [[Commissar Fuklaw|Commissar Fuklaw's]] cap.
* [[Cultist-chan]] in a sound-proof cell.
* A recording of Tzeentch saying [[JUST AS PLANNED]] in every know language.
* One of [[Dranon|Dranon's]] cigars.
* Donald Trump's hair.

==Ever-increasing Trazyn's aliases List==
*Arsène Lupin
*Pepe
*Bob The regular non-necron guardsman.
*Bob the Builder
*The Fat Controller
*Every notable persons from your childhood
*Borris the generic soul-less warrior
*Phaeron Imothephek the Thunderboltlord.
*Onionkyr the Voyager.
*Nemesor Zahnpasta.
*The grinch
*Barack Obama's birth certificate.
*Vanguard O'Brien.
*El Bandido Dickbag de la Muerte
*Trellsin the Singular.
*[https://youtu.be/v4Y4QBL5Fmg Bender][https://youtu.be/OWPfcEOr2Yg Bending Rodríguez]
*Necropimp
*The most fabulous Necron of them all (after he said this, Sanguinius appeared before him and told him that if he ever said the word fabulous again, he would steal everything he owns)
*Illuminor Spookyras.
*Notc'tan the Diviner.
*Sissy Rack the Loud Queen.
*Dio Brando/ZA WARUDO.
*Thanquol the (In)Competent.
*Marisa Kirisame
*Shas'O Wi A'bu.
*Inquisitor Emprah of Catachan.
*Anon Y. Mouse.
*Captain Inkoc Nito.
*Winona Ryder
*Dean Isle.
*Kaz Miller.
*Mideer Laydee.
*Eliphas the inheritor.
*Commissar Hugh Mann.
*Korporal Dick Goesinzya.
*Canoness Ivanna Purgealot.
*High Scout Henrick Day-o-midis.
*Farsighter Loldrad Gretchinbane.
*Lord-sergeant Ultramarius Sicarius.
*Archservitor Robotnik Wilhelm.
*Warboss Ghozkull Grotstealer.
*Skitarius Ranger Alpha Stroheimus JJ-1337.
*Archon Kim Ke.
*Suede O'Niim.
*John Smith.
*Alan Smithee.
*Kyon.
*Ned Cron.
*Mouse M.D.
*Victor Domashev.
*Bernie Madoff
*Carmen Sandiego
*Lara Craft
*Master Thief
*Sir Welland Dowde
*High Admiral tankcommander Pascual.
*Techpriest 01110100 01110010 01100001 01111010 01111001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100110 01101001 01101110 01101001 01110100 01100101 00001010 .
*Gordon Freeman.
*Mr. Roboto.
*Nyzart the ending
*Nafqa.
*Sly Cooper
*The God emperor of Mankind.
*Mac Tonight.
*The G-man.
*Venom Snake.
*He-Man.
*Skeltor
*Iron Man.
*Albert Wesker
*Gabe Newell.
*SLYYYY MARBOOO!! (When Trazyn assumed this disguise, every necron in the segmentum had a Catachan Fang spontaneously appear in its skull and teleported to self repair, and the knife that appeared in Trazyn's hands had "I'll let you off this time" written on the grip."
*Big Boss Final
*Zharn the Bee Trainer
*Tray the Model Man
*BIg BobbyG.
*alpharius.
*not omegon.
*pantheon of 40k (GW)
*Belisarius Cawl
*Donald Trump's pubic wig
*JOHN CENA!!!
*The Immortal Jod Emper of Space-skeletonkind
*Spartacus
*Danger Powers
*The Second Coming of Matt Ward
*Fresh Prince of Ultramar
*The King of Games
*Mr E. Man
*The real thief of the Primarchs
*Sister Superior Wendy
*Chaplin Hamburglar
*The Doctor
*Norm L. Pearson
*The Lord of the [[Squats]]

===Fall of Cadia===
Oddly enough, it appears that Trazyn decided 'aid' the Imperium in their defense of Cadia (he decided that after 60 million years it would be interesting to play the hero for once). He knows the secrets of the Pylons on Cadia, and he even releases Imperium people from his collection (represented in game by letting you deep strike units, if you take Trazyn in your Imperium army). What a great guy giving up his collection to have more space for other exotic exhibits...
Specifically he got the feeling that something was coming after the Bell of Saint Gersthal started chiming in his collection, messing with the programs of his Tomb World and sending his forces back into stasis, ringing thirteen times before ceasing. He then headed off to the Celestial Orrery on Thanatos to see what the fuck was going on (but not before casting the bell into the webway, [[Troll|hoping it would be as much of a pain in the Eldar's ass as it was his]]). And what do you know, there was but the Crons' watching over the thing could do nothing about it cause they were just meant to watch over the thing, not play galactic peacekeepers (although they eventually let him in, the guards weren't happy that Trazyn was there, due to an incident where some priceless artifact mysteriously went missing the last time he visited). Thus Trazyn decided to take up the role as a savior for once (mostly because he was bored and wanted to try something other than grave-robbing), and find the source of the corruption, which happened to be the little boring world of Cadia.

Long story short, Trazyn went off to Cadia released some parts of his collection (most notably Inquisitor Greyfax, though that is mostly just because his old Pen Pal Valeria was apparently killed by another human), and helped the Imperial forces screw around with the Pylons. Which somewhat backfired to put it lightly, though not that it mattered much to him because he stopped caring about playing the hero role and figured that while he was around he could find something for his collection to commemorate such a historic moment. And while he was originally hoping to claim Abaddon for his collection, his second choice was no less impressive.

''Creed stands alone on the ruined surface of Cadia. He sees a metal giant in a scaled cloak in front of him, hand outstretched.''

''"Ursarkar E. [[Creed]] - This is not your end. Eternity Awaits"....''

==See Also==
* [http://images.wikia.com/heman/images/b/bc/Skeletor.jpg] Compare and contrast, comrades.
* [http://youtu.be/jJh5PETGihs?t=10m16s Epic duel ahead.]
{{Necrons-Characters}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Necrons]]

Trazyn the Infinite

2018-02-24T18:24:00Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List */

{{MattWard}}
[[File:Trazyn.jpg|300px|right|thumb|He's come to steal your shit! (Probably literally, if it's rare enough) And if you're (un)lucky, he might even steal you.]]
'''Trazyn the Infinite''', also known as '''Trollzyn the [[Tarpit]] Breaker''' and '''Trazyn the Grave Robber''', is the best [[Necron]] Overlord/Phaeron (while ''technically'' his title is Overlord, he has his own Overlord subordinates and rule his own little empire like Phaeron). Basically what you'll get if you combined Doctor Doom, a [[Tomb King]], a [[Blood Ravens|Bloody Magpie]] and the Terminator.

Trazyn the Infinite, ruler of the [[Tomb World]] named Solemence (which happens to be a Dyson Sphere powered by a [[C'tan]]), is a self-proclaimed preserver of histories, artifacts and events. In his possession are technologies and relics that are so valuable as to be priceless. Amongst his collection are the fabled wraithbone choir of Altansar, the preserved head of [[Sebastian Thor]], the ossified husk of an Enslaver '''and a suit of baroque power armour, complete with the Space Marine who was still wearing it.''' (<s>Who according to a recent White Dwarf issue hints that it may or may not be [[Vulkan]]</s> It's a Custodes.) This means that he is the only creature in this or any other universe that rivals the stealing power of the [[Blood Ravens]]. In such a dangerous galaxy, Trazyn is loath to go out and explore it himself, but with so many exquisite artifacts to see and catalogue, he cannot afford to miss out. As a result he will send out substitutes of himself to do his dirty work. On the battlefield this can become increasingly irritating, as killing what appears to be Trazyn may simply be a [[Lychguard]] or a Necron Lord. Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, the real Trazyn is busy smashing his way through his foes to get his metal hands on his latest acquisition.

(That's how the fluff handles it; the crunch rules imply that he simply takes over the body of another Lord, Lychguard, or [[Cryptek]]. He was there; you killed him; he just ran like the troll he is. [[Butthurt|Oh, and you didn't]] [[Alpha Legion|get Slay The Warlord by the way.]] Just imagine this guy politely trolling with the voice of Terl from Battlefield Earth : "Oh, dear ! What a wonderful contingent of Imperial Guards ! I shall thank you with all my heart, General, for this marvelous gift. Please tell them to strike a nice pose while I prepare a stasis grenade...")

/tg/ has gained a fondness for him, due to his thieving ways, his Doctor Doom-esque body doubles, and his polite yet [[Troll|trollish]] attitude, he is also known for using completely self-evident aliases, which nevertheless seem to work quite well. It is generally agreed that he is one of the only good things Matt Ward has ''ever'' put into the [[fluff]].

"A war-torn city in the [[Ultramar]] system. The [[Ultramarines]], aided by an [[Imperial Guard]] regiment led by Lord Castellan Ursarkar [[Creed]], prepares to face an [[Ork]] incursion in a final battle. The Orks are numerous, but the [[Imperium]] has the upper hand, just barely, as Lord Creed's tactical genius has proven invaluable. As the Orks begin their final assault on the city, the Ultramarines ready their defenses. Creed, ever oddly silent, gazes intently at a large flagpole in the center of town, watching through binocs as the Orks' charge is funneled towards the center of the city. Suddenly, as the Orks near the square, the tip of a [[Baneblade]]'s main gun can be seen coming around the flagpole. The great tank begins to emerge from behind the thin metal object, perfectly and impossibly concealed. It begins to move into its firing arc, and a great shout is heard from the [[Warboss]] down below, just barely carrying over the rest of the din. "CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" Suddenly, the cry cuts off in confusion, as Creed spits out his cigar. Where the Baneblade once stood, there is air, thin air. Not a trace remains of the enormous tank. It has vanished completely. Then, gradually, a green, crackling, electrical rune appears hanging in the air where the Baneblade was. It extends gracefully, for its platonic geometric form. If Creed was given to poetry, he might even say it resembled a rose. But he knew better. A rage he had felt only once before began to boil deep within, and his cry shook the world as the Orkish tide began to hack his guardsmen and the Marines to pieces. "TRAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYN!"

==From [[Matt Ward|Ward]] Himself==
"Trazyn's also no slouch in combat. Whenever his empathic obliterator kills an enemy, it has a chance to kill all other enemies of the same type in the same combat - perfect for Ork mobs. This isn't so useful against characters, but that's why Trazyn also carries a clutch of mindshackle scarabs - why kill an enemy when you can take over his mind and have him kill for you...?"oh wait nope, mss are now just a useful fear test.So now the only real use you'll find for him in a duel is whacking them with a stick.

==Letter to Inquisitor Valeria==
This is the (in)famous little piece of fluff that has made Trazyn so likeable to /tg/, contrasting nicely with all the grim darkness around. Do note that it is unclear whether he's straight serious, indulging in some elaborate trolling or even both at once.

''Dear Lady, let me express my fulsome appreciation for your most generous gift. It is so very rare to discover another of my own kind that appreciates my work, therefore to find understanding amongst a member of another race is nothing short of a revelation. I realise that you briefly trod my galleries, but the fact that you spotted in so short a time that my Acabrius War collection was lacking three regiments of Catachan warriors reveals that you truly have a collector's eye for detail. And to send five regiments! Such generosity will allow me to weed out and replace a few of the more substandard pieces in my collection. If I might level a minor criticism, the instructions issued to your gift were manifestly not as clear as you thought, as most of them had to be forcibly restrained. Sadly it seems that the lower orders will always behave like an army of invasion, whether that be their purpose or not. However, this is a minor complaint and seems almost churlish under the circumstances, so please allow me to repay your gift with one of my own. Accompanying this message is the Hyperstone Maze, one of a series of Tesseract Labyrinths constructed at the height of the Charnovokh Dynasty. It is a trinket really, only of interest to scholars such as you and I, but I trust you will find it amusing; assuming you have the wit to escape its clutches, of course.''

==The Infinite List of Dickings==
[[File:Trazyn2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Daww]]
Trazyn is universally regarded as a <strike>[[Eldrad|huge dick]]</strike> pretty fun guy to be around due to his <strike>[[Blood Ravens|rampant kleptomania]]</strike> erudition and wit. Here is a list of his <strike>crimes</strike> many-splendored accomplishments, compiled for the <strike>warning</strike> edification of /tg/.

* Killed five invading regiments of Catachans, then turned them into [[Wargame|miniatures for his collection.]]
** Sent [[Inquisitor Valeria]] fan mail (maybe, we can't tell if he was being sarcastic in the letter) attached to an armed tesseract labyrinth [[Blood Ravens|as a reward for "gifting" him said Catachan regiments.]] Being a true gentleman, when Valeria managed to unravel said tesseract labyrinth and use it 'safely', he took it with good grace and they became pen pals of sorts... [[Grimdark|But since no good deed stays unpunished]], as of Fall of Cadia Trazyn has revealed that while Valeria became his human waifu for some time she eventually got [[blam|BLAM'med]] for consorting with xenos, hence why he releases Greyfax the Angery instead of getting Valeria to tag along (Just as planned? How about Tau start summoning daemons for battle? And maybe Orks start building their own webway.)
* Banned from the Necron throne world of Mandragora after trying to [[Ork|loot]] [[Imotekh the Stormlord|Imotekh's]] staff.
** [[Troll|Pops in whenever he feels like it anyway.]]
* Stole Sebastian Thor's [[wat|head]]. Maybe (there's like five other museums claiming to have his skeleton; the only reason Trazyn stands out is because his Thor head is preserved in a jar, rather than a skull).
* Took the World Spirit Shrine of Carnac, an [[Exodite]] world as a trophy for helping to conquer it.
* Uses other Necron Lords as body doubles [[Troll|without telling them.]]
* Told the [[Ultramarines|greatest amongst us all]] he was old pals with [[Roboute Guilliman|Rawbutt Girlyman.]] Considering that one of the pokeballs he unleashed against Chaos at the Fall of Cadia was a bunch of Ultramarines fresh from the [[Great Scouring|aftermath of the Horus Heresy]], he might be telling the truth ("old pals" by his definition, of course. (Wait a second, how the fuck was Trazyn around during the Horus Heresy to steal some ultrasmurfs if the Necrons have only started waking up at the eve of the 41st millennium? God dammit GeeDubs. If the answer is 'time travel' I'm going to have an aneurysm)).
** And then informed them that maybe [[Troll|he was going to take Papa Smurf, as he'd be better off with him than in the company of the Ultramarines.]]
*** And with Rowboat coming back, [[Yvraine|somehow]], for 40k End Times, we might actually get to see how the two know each other. If they actually do. There's every possibility that [[troll|Trollzyn was just lying]].
* <s>Has a fucking PRIMARCH stored at his pad, supposedly... Possibly Vulkan according to White Dwarf.</s> This has been retconned, Trazyn managed to capture one of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] for his collection.
*Told Vulkan He'stan he had the Song of Entropy, luring the Salamanders into a 10-year war with the Necrons. At the end of it, Trazyn pretty much said "just kidding, I don't have the Song of Entropy," as he tried to steal the Spear of Vulkan. Kind of back fired when [[Vulkan He'stan]] decided to just give him the Spear. ''Tip'' first. He'stan was pretty pissed when he learned Trazyn just jumped into another body.
** Twice.
*Invaded the Imperial planet of Midgardia and nabbed a C'tan shard of Nyadra'zatha, despite [[Logan Grimnar]]'s attempts to stop him. It's notable that he pulled this off in Logan's own codex supplement, where most other battles in the book were a resounding Space Wolf victory. To be fair, Space Wolves destroying (and thus accidentally freeing) a C'tan shard would make them look like an assholes. I mean even more assholes than they already are.
**In retribution, Logan hunted him down to another planet, Vhaloth IV, and ended up kicking Imotekh's ass instead. ([[Just As Planned]]. The dick deserved it for hanging on to his staff anyway.)
* Captured an Ork warboss and the Deathwatch kill team that was hunting said warboss, and sat them in front of each other in his collection for all eternity. And he double-checked they were both still self-aware, just to feel them suffer.
* Caught a bunch of tech priests evacuating from the necron invasion of Magogue, and set them up in stasis as a monument to that planet's fall. Notable because he pulled it off in the Skitarii codex. Trazyn's apparently the go-to guy for being able to win outside of his own codex.
* May or may not be the one pulling the strings behind the events of [[Xenology]], as probably he won't have any problems impersonating a C'tan shard.
* Has been hanging out on Cadia for who knows how long as the "man of iron" which all but confirms the pylons are necrons made.
* Steals Creed himself after the fall of Cadia.
* Steals Papa Smurfs' (The Ultramarine bloke that can't spell Robert properly) pillow from his lumber.
* Stole an Emperor's Children's gene-seed tithe ship containing thousands of progenoids.
* Traded it for the only perfect clone of [[Fulgrim]], thus dashing the only hope of the Third Legion rebuilding itself and becoming more than a bunch of depraved sick fucks.

==Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List==
[[File:TrazynAndDiomedes.jpg|thumb|right|300px|There can only be one true magpie.]]
*Old one eye's lost eye
*Kartoth the Bloodhunger, both so he can say he won the game as well as rip holes to go back in time for more collecting.
*[[Abaddon]]. No, really, that's (one of) the reason(s) he came to Cadia in the first place: he wants to add the Warmaster of Chaos to his collection!
*[[Saint Celestine]]. (Go read The ''Fall of [[Cadia]]'', this is not a joke!)
*A lock of the Emperor's hair (Assuming it hasn't rotted away by the time he gets to Terra).
*[[Magnus the Red|Magnus the Red's]] favourite eye.
*An 8th edition Sisters of Battle codex.
*The [[Sanguinor]] in a stasis field.
* One Sister of battle issue vibrator from each Order with viewing martial.
*<s>A living Tyranid zoo (no stuffed dolls for our old collector). Would be much easier to accomplish if 'Nids didn't try to keep the fuck away from Necrons and their worlds.</s> Never mind. He gave up on this one after his specimens broke out of their exhibit and ate half of Solemnace. Attempting to redo it on another planet near Solemnace.
*One of each type of Eldar Aspect Warrior, arranged in complementing color order.
*Each [[Phoenix Lord]], including the fallen Ahra or Drazhar (just in case he's Ahra); bonus points for the originals. Otherwise, something from them, such as one of [[Asurmen]]'s twin-linked [[Shuriken Catapult]]s or a lock of [[Jain Zar]]'s hair (bonus points for getting things from all of their incarnations).
*A signed autograph from each Primarch. (Still asking [[Orikan the Diviner|Orikan]] for "access" to his time machine so he can get one from [[Ferrus Manus]], [[Horus]], [[Sanguinius]], and [[Konrad Curze]] since they're all presently busy being dead.)
*A signed autograph from each chaos god.
*A sweet ride so he can cruise the galaxy looking for new junk.
*The [[Baneblade#Fortress of Arrogance|Fortress of Arrogance]], preferably with [[Commissar Yarrick]] as well.
*[[Sammael|Sammael's]] Jetbike.
*A [[Pauldron|shoulder pad]] from each space marine chapter (Pre-heresy legions and post-heresy chapters all together of course, going for the complete set!)
*A Space Marine from each of the first Legions (this collection would be easily finished if not for the fact that he cant find any marines from the two missing legions).
*A painting of one of the Emprah, Tzeentch, Cegorach, and the Deceiver's card games.
*A circus filled with nothing but Eldar Harlequins.
*A <s>school report and childhood items</s> first set of kid-sized slave shackles of Asdrubael Vect.
*A garage filled with one of each type of the Imperial Guard's tanks.
*A feather from Sanguinus's wing.
*An Imperial Titan that has been CREEEEEEEDed.
**A snap shot of the look on Abaddon's face upon seeing aforementioned Titan in the middle of his battle line, shouting CREEEEEEEED
*Abbadon's arms. Creed hid them so well that even Trazyn is having trouble finding them.
*A matching pair of [[Angry Marine]] Powerfeet.
*A pair of a Sisters Of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties from each Order, stolen from their quarters while they are asleep. Is surprisingly hard to pull off, even for Trazyn.
*A set of [[Lelith Hesperax|Lelith Hesperax's]] Combat Attire after a fight. This is even harder to pull of than the Sisters of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties.
*One of the fingers from the Talon of Horus.
*Slaanesh's entire porn collection.
*One of Ferrus Manus's hands. He isn't picky which.
*An [[Imperial Knight]] from each house.
*The Panacea STC.
**And since [[Lady Malys]] got there first, anything cool she owns, as well as a selfie with her before and after she realizes he stole her stuff.
*The Eye of Horus. As in the ''actual'' Eye.
*Commander [[Puretide]] and/or [[Farsight|all]] [[Shadowsun|of his]] [[Shas'O Kais|students]].
*A calm and rational [[World Eaters|World Eater]] marine.
*A clean and disease free [[Death Guard]] marine.
*A [[Emperor's Children]] marine who shows restraint.
*Alive and fleshy non-sorcerer [[Thousand Sons|Thousand Son]] marine. (As of Ahriman: Unchanged, there is now exactly one of these)
*Remnants of the Inquisitorial acolyte who died of old age. Ones aged by a [[Hrud|Hrud's]] entropic field do not count.
*The cure for the [[Red Thirst]].
**A photo of The Blood Angels' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them.(bonus for [[Dante]]'s reaction with his mask off)
*The cure for the Curse of the Wulfen.
**A photo of The Space Wolves' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them.
*The right hands of [[Helbrecht]], [[Eldorath Starbane]] and anyone else who had their right hands cut off by Imotekh.
*At least one [[Jokaero]].
**And anything they make/modify.
*A [[Female Space Marines|Female Space Marine]].
*As many [[Catgirl|catgirls]] as possible.
**Along with a selfie with each of them.
***And as many [[Kitsune|kitsunes]] as possible, along with selfies and a shrine to their name.
*Any 100% reliable information about Alpha Legion.
*Any 100% reliable information about Alfa Legion.
*The Blood Ravens Armoury. Since most of the above was already "gifted" to the Chapter.
*A machine to control the [[Warp]] so he can create impossible things.
*A complete and unblemished cosmetic kit 'gifted' by a [[Pretty Marines]]' Company Captain, still with a wrapping bow attached. (Getting one each from both Loyalist and Chaos Pretty Marines Captains would be even better!)
*The very [[Ethereal|Ethereals]] who united the [[Tau]] race back when they were limited to only their homeworld, or their bodies.
*A picture with Kharn.
*One of each type of Imperial Assassin in the position they held before trying to kill him. This wouldn't be so problematic if it wasn't for the fact that he has yet to convince the Assassinorium to send a Culexus assassin against him.
*A 1st Edition copy of the [[Codex Astartes]] with Roboute Guilliman's autograph on the dust jacket.
*A recording of Warboss [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] famous: "Wez gonna Waagh!"speech.
*A prison capable of holding [[Cypher]], containing the man himself.
*<s>A STC detailing how to finally have enough Dakka</s>. '''*KRUMP* HERE...HERESESS...BLOODY 'ELL WHOTEVER DAT WORD IS YOU 'UMIES KEEP SAYIN' BEFORE Y'SHOOTS EACHUVVER!'''
*<s> An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Warhammer Fantasy.
*An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Lord of the Rings.</s> (Trazyn has now accomplished this according to some writefaggotry posted on fanfiction.net. Much nerd [[rage]] shall ensue. You have been warned.)
*<s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Wars.</s> (He has also accomplished this due to MORE Writefaggotry on Fanfiction.net.)
*An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Trek (Risky, considering the technologies in Star Trek, he just might actually end up as a collectible himself or be tracked back to his home dimension).
*All the NON-Grimdarkness of the 41st millennium in a bottle. So nothing in bottle then.
*[[Temperus Maximus]]' Adamantium Cigar. Trazyn almost managed to loot this, but Temperus suddenly called an Orbital Strike on top of himself before this happened. Temperus' armor received minor scorch marks when the strike ended and Trazyn's body double was obliterated.
*One marine from each chapter of the cursed founding.
*A death corps of Krieg gas mask serial number 0000000000000000000000001.
*Names, addresses and personal phone numbers of the two unknown Primarchs.
*Cardinal Anton Fedelicus and his collected writings, which if introduced would have allowed for a very large degree of sexual freedom to have been integrated into the ecclesiarchical theology without increasing the risk of Slaaneshi corruption.
*A living [[Astral Knights|Astral Knight]].
*A "lucky" [[Lamenters]] marine (also count as one of the cursed founding collection).
*A working time travel device create by the [[Ordo Chronos]] ([[heresy|if it was ever made]]). The purpose for this device being, you guess it, collect more artifact from the past.
*His own body double in an alternative universe, if only he did not manage to turn into [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|dimensional sponge]] in the process or lost to his alternative self in a collection contest.
*A lock of hair from each of the [[Tarkus|infamous]] [[Boreale|baldraven]] [[Diomedes|marines]].
*A "My First Assault Cannon* box set (even better if unopened).
*A photo of the Emperor as a boy.
*As well as all of his photographic recording scatter throughout the time, whether it is rock scribble from the stone age or painting in the Da Vinci Era or the youtube video he has made back in 20XX.
*A [[Squat]].
*A living Boneripper.
*The personal battle standard of [[Gabriel Angelos]] used at his ascension to chapter master.
**The Blood Ravens also want one of Trazyn's personal banners.
*An Ogryn's 'Guardsman's Primer: Colour Book Edition' and matching 'The Great Crayon Crusade' coloring set.
*The oldest dreadnought of each Space Marine chapter.
*Samus' armor.
*The Entire first Season of "If The Emperor had a text-to-speech device" in blue-ray signed by Chapter Master Alfabusa.
*Limited collectors edition of Half life 3(After all, it's only been 38,000 years in development, maybe Valve will finish it before chaos/da WAAAAGH/the Tyranids/Imotekh's ego consumes the entire world!)
*[[Sly Marbo|Sly Marbo's]] personal pistol, though not even Trazyn is willing to try and collect it.
*An actual ork sniper.
*Butlin-Class Titan.
*The [[Men of Iron|Man of Iron]].
*<s>The Cigar Creed always chews but never smokes.</s> Acquired as part of the new Creed exhibit.
*The legs from an Imperial Sentinel (must have attachment for his own legs)
*A list of names of the fallen to wave at the Dark Angels.
*A ham personally provided by the Ordo Draigo.
*A book borrowed from the black library with a selfie of him and Cegorach.
*A picture of himself before he turned to necron.
*The best pole dancer in the Commorragh in a stasis chamber.
*The best pole dancer out of all Slaanesh cultist in a stasis chamber.
*A photograph of a Cyclonic torpedo the moment it impacts the ground.
*A group photo of Thunder Warriors with Arik Taranis and the Emperor.
*An acknowledgement from GW that Malal does indeed exist.
*An actual affordable GW Warhammer 40k miniature from any faction.
*[[Carlos McConnell]], or at least one of his catgirls, in a stasis chamber.
*A jar of [[Skub]].
*The book "[[Standard Template Construct]]" for dummies.
*Sensible [[Blood Angels]].
*Hairless [[Space Wolves]]. Being shaven doesn't count, the Marine has to be hairless naturally.
*A copy of Battletoads.
*The Statue of Liberty, shrunk to 10 feet size and taken from Nova Yourk hive of Merica.
*Blueprint of [[Angron]]'s Butcher's Nails.
*A WW2 Era Luger pistol, original.
*Enough Blood for the [[Khorne|Blood God]].
*Enough Skulls for the Skull Throne.
*One of Roboute Guilliman's new [[Primaris Marines|Super Space Marines]].
*A Pokeball that can Hold a C'tan.
*A Living member of the Interex.
*A Picture of Eldrad and Vect trying to out-dick one another.
*An STC that has technology that will allow him to do some Dark Eldar Drugs.
*A video of Nemesor Zahndrekh putting on glasses and realizing that he is now a Skeleton Robot and the Other Necrontyr are not what they seemed to be
*An member of an Alien race the Imperium actually gets along with. (<s>Pretty damn impossible.</s> ([[Yvraine]]. Next?)
*An Ork who can actually think.
*An Autograph from [[Nagash]].
*A video of Yarrick taking over the Orks. (<s>Only a Matter of time now</s> [[wat|It's mentioned in the 8E rulebook that the Orks and Humans on Armageddon formed an alliance to fight chaos, so this is pretty much canon now.]])
*The Golden Throne. That means Trazyn is not allowed on Holy Terra.
*[[Belisarius Cawl]].
*<s>Enough DAKKA.</s>'''WUT DID WE SAY 'BOUT DAT?'''
*An official GW ninth age tournament.
*[[Farsight#The_Dawn_Blade|The Dawn Blade]].
* A clone of [[Fabius Bile]], not as an exhibit but just to make conversation with. He nearly got one if Fabius Bile didn't decide to trade him his Fulgrim clone instead.
* [[Lorgar|Lorgar's]] diary, the single largest source of [[heresy]] in the universe. He puts this one off due to the aura of discomfort that radiates from anything Lorgar has touched.
* A portal into an alternate past reality where GW doesn't constantly use the Eldar as fluffy punching bags, and where xenos factions actually get as much attention as [[Space Marine|GeeDub's poster boys.]]
* A pyrophobic [[Salamanders (Chapter)|Salamander]].
* The Emperor's text-to-speech device.
* [[Old Man Henderson|Old Man Henderson's]] gnomes.
* All Nintendo World Championship cartridges, both regular and gold.
* One of those [[Noise Marine]] sonic guns that looks like a sweet guitar.
* A member of the Death Korps of Krieg with self-preservation instincts.
* A living [[Sensei]].
* A set of [[Rogue Trader]] era [[Beakie]] Armor.
* The rest of the Blackstone Fortresses.
* [[Commissar Fuklaw|Commissar Fuklaw's]] cap.
* [[Cultist-chan]] in a sound-proof cell.
* A recording of Tzeentch saying [[JUST AS PLANNED]] in every know language.
* One of [[Dranon|Dranon's]] cigars.
* Donald Trump's hair.

==Ever-increasing Trazyn's aliases List==
*Arsène Lupin
*Pepe
*Bob The regular non-necron guardsman.
*Bob the Builder
*The Fat Controller
*Every notable persons from your childhood
*Borris the generic soul-less warrior
*Phaeron Imothephek the Thunderboltlord.
*Onionkyr the Voyager.
*Nemesor Zahnpasta.
*The grinch
*Barack Obama's birth certificate.
*Vanguard O'Brien.
*El Bandido Dickbag de la Muerte
*Trellsin the Singular.
*[https://youtu.be/v4Y4QBL5Fmg Bender][https://youtu.be/OWPfcEOr2Yg Bending Rodríguez]
*Necropimp
*The most fabulous Necron of them all (after he said this, Sanguinius appeared before him and told him that if he ever said the word fabulous again, he would steal everything he owns)
*Illuminor Spookyras.
*Notc'tan the Diviner.
*Sissy Rack the Loud Queen.
*Dio Brando/ZA WARUDO.
*Thanquol the (In)Competent.
*Marisa Kirisame
*Shas'O Wi A'bu.
*Inquisitor Emprah of Catachan.
*Anon Y. Mouse.
*Captain Inkoc Nito.
*Winona Ryder
*Dean Isle.
*Kaz Miller.
*Mideer Laydee.
*Eliphas the inheritor.
*Commissar Hugh Mann.
*Korporal Dick Goesinzya.
*Canoness Ivanna Purgealot.
*High Scout Henrick Day-o-midis.
*Farsighter Loldrad Gretchinbane.
*Lord-sergeant Ultramarius Sicarius.
*Archservitor Robotnik Wilhelm.
*Warboss Ghozkull Grotstealer.
*Skitarius Ranger Alpha Stroheimus JJ-1337.
*Archon Kim Ke.
*Suede O'Niim.
*John Smith.
*Alan Smithee.
*Kyon.
*Ned Cron.
*Mouse M.D.
*Victor Domashev.
*Bernie Madoff
*Carmen Sandiego
*Lara Craft
*Master Thief
*Sir Welland Dowde
*High Admiral tankcommander Pascual.
*Techpriest 01110100 01110010 01100001 01111010 01111001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100110 01101001 01101110 01101001 01110100 01100101 00001010 .
*Gordon Freeman.
*Mr. Roboto.
*Nyzart the ending
*Nafqa.
*Sly Cooper
*The God emperor of Mankind.
*Mac Tonight.
*The G-man.
*Venom Snake.
*He-Man.
*Skeltor
*Iron Man.
*Albert Wesker
*Gabe Newell.
*SLYYYY MARBOOO!! (When Trazyn assumed this disguise, every necron in the segmentum had a Catachan Fang spontaneously appear in its skull and teleported to self repair, and the knife that appeared in Trazyn's hands had "I'll let you off this time" written on the grip."
*Big Boss Final
*Zharn the Bee Trainer
*Tray the Model Man
*BIg BobbyG.
*alpharius.
*not omegon.
*pantheon of 40k (GW)
*Belisarius Cawl
*Donald Trump's pubic wig
*JOHN CENA!!!
*The Immortal Jod Emper of Space-skeletonkind
*Spartacus
*Danger Powers
*The Second Coming of Matt Ward
*Fresh Prince of Ultramar
*The King of Games
*Mr E. Man
*The real thief of the Primarchs
*Sister Superior Wendy
*Chaplin Hamburglar
*The Doctor
*Norm L. Pearson
*The Lord of the [[Squats]]

===Fall of Cadia===
Oddly enough, it appears that Trazyn decided 'aid' the Imperium in their defense of Cadia (he decided that after 60 million years it would be interesting to play the hero for once). He knows the secrets of the Pylons on Cadia, and he even releases Imperium people from his collection (represented in game by letting you deep strike units, if you take Trazyn in your Imperium army). What a great guy giving up his collection to have more space for other exotic exhibits...
Specifically he got the feeling that something was coming after the Bell of Saint Gersthal started chiming in his collection, messing with the programs of his Tomb World and sending his forces back into stasis, ringing thirteen times before ceasing. He then headed off to the Celestial Orrery on Thanatos to see what the fuck was going on (but not before casting the bell into the webway, [[Troll|hoping it would be as much of a pain in the Eldar's ass as it was his]]). And what do you know, there was but the Crons' watching over the thing could do nothing about it cause they were just meant to watch over the thing, not play galactic peacekeepers (although they eventually let him in, the guards weren't happy that Trazyn was there, due to an incident where some priceless artifact mysteriously went missing the last time he visited). Thus Trazyn decided to take up the role as a savior for once (mostly because he was bored and wanted to try something other than grave-robbing), and find the source of the corruption, which happened to be the little boring world of Cadia.

Long story short, Trazyn went off to Cadia released some parts of his collection (most notably Inquisitor Greyfax, though that is mostly just because his old Pen Pal Valeria was apparently killed by another human), and helped the Imperial forces screw around with the Pylons. Which somewhat backfired to put it lightly, though not that it mattered much to him because he stopped caring about playing the hero role and figured that while he was around he could find something for his collection to commemorate such a historic moment. And while he was originally hoping to claim Abaddon for his collection, his second choice was no less impressive.

''Creed stands alone on the ruined surface of Cadia. He sees a metal giant in a scaled cloak in front of him, hand outstretched.''

''"Ursarkar E. [[Creed]] - This is not your end. Eternity Awaits"....''

==See Also==
* [http://images.wikia.com/heman/images/b/bc/Skeletor.jpg] Compare and contrast, comrades.
* [http://youtu.be/jJh5PETGihs?t=10m16s Epic duel ahead.]
{{Necrons-Characters}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Necrons]]

Trazyn the Infinite

2018-02-24T18:00:50Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* The Infinite List of Dickings */

{{MattWard}}
[[File:Trazyn.jpg|300px|right|thumb|He's come to steal your shit! (Probably literally, if it's rare enough) And if you're (un)lucky, he might even steal you.]]
'''Trazyn the Infinite''', also known as '''Trollzyn the [[Tarpit]] Breaker''' and '''Trazyn the Grave Robber''', is the best [[Necron]] Overlord/Phaeron (while ''technically'' his title is Overlord, he has his own Overlord subordinates and rule his own little empire like Phaeron). Basically what you'll get if you combined Doctor Doom, a [[Tomb King]], a [[Blood Ravens|Bloody Magpie]] and the Terminator.

Trazyn the Infinite, ruler of the [[Tomb World]] named Solemence (which happens to be a Dyson Sphere powered by a [[C'tan]]), is a self-proclaimed preserver of histories, artifacts and events. In his possession are technologies and relics that are so valuable as to be priceless. Amongst his collection are the fabled wraithbone choir of Altansar, the preserved head of [[Sebastian Thor]], the ossified husk of an Enslaver '''and a suit of baroque power armour, complete with the Space Marine who was still wearing it.''' (<s>Who according to a recent White Dwarf issue hints that it may or may not be [[Vulkan]]</s> It's a Custodes.) This means that he is the only creature in this or any other universe that rivals the stealing power of the [[Blood Ravens]]. In such a dangerous galaxy, Trazyn is loath to go out and explore it himself, but with so many exquisite artifacts to see and catalogue, he cannot afford to miss out. As a result he will send out substitutes of himself to do his dirty work. On the battlefield this can become increasingly irritating, as killing what appears to be Trazyn may simply be a [[Lychguard]] or a Necron Lord. Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, the real Trazyn is busy smashing his way through his foes to get his metal hands on his latest acquisition.

(That's how the fluff handles it; the crunch rules imply that he simply takes over the body of another Lord, Lychguard, or [[Cryptek]]. He was there; you killed him; he just ran like the troll he is. [[Butthurt|Oh, and you didn't]] [[Alpha Legion|get Slay The Warlord by the way.]] Just imagine this guy politely trolling with the voice of Terl from Battlefield Earth : "Oh, dear ! What a wonderful contingent of Imperial Guards ! I shall thank you with all my heart, General, for this marvelous gift. Please tell them to strike a nice pose while I prepare a stasis grenade...")

/tg/ has gained a fondness for him, due to his thieving ways, his Doctor Doom-esque body doubles, and his polite yet [[Troll|trollish]] attitude, he is also known for using completely self-evident aliases, which nevertheless seem to work quite well. It is generally agreed that he is one of the only good things Matt Ward has ''ever'' put into the [[fluff]].

"A war-torn city in the [[Ultramar]] system. The [[Ultramarines]], aided by an [[Imperial Guard]] regiment led by Lord Castellan Ursarkar [[Creed]], prepares to face an [[Ork]] incursion in a final battle. The Orks are numerous, but the [[Imperium]] has the upper hand, just barely, as Lord Creed's tactical genius has proven invaluable. As the Orks begin their final assault on the city, the Ultramarines ready their defenses. Creed, ever oddly silent, gazes intently at a large flagpole in the center of town, watching through binocs as the Orks' charge is funneled towards the center of the city. Suddenly, as the Orks near the square, the tip of a [[Baneblade]]'s main gun can be seen coming around the flagpole. The great tank begins to emerge from behind the thin metal object, perfectly and impossibly concealed. It begins to move into its firing arc, and a great shout is heard from the [[Warboss]] down below, just barely carrying over the rest of the din. "CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" Suddenly, the cry cuts off in confusion, as Creed spits out his cigar. Where the Baneblade once stood, there is air, thin air. Not a trace remains of the enormous tank. It has vanished completely. Then, gradually, a green, crackling, electrical rune appears hanging in the air where the Baneblade was. It extends gracefully, for its platonic geometric form. If Creed was given to poetry, he might even say it resembled a rose. But he knew better. A rage he had felt only once before began to boil deep within, and his cry shook the world as the Orkish tide began to hack his guardsmen and the Marines to pieces. "TRAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYN!"

==From [[Matt Ward|Ward]] Himself==
"Trazyn's also no slouch in combat. Whenever his empathic obliterator kills an enemy, it has a chance to kill all other enemies of the same type in the same combat - perfect for Ork mobs. This isn't so useful against characters, but that's why Trazyn also carries a clutch of mindshackle scarabs - why kill an enemy when you can take over his mind and have him kill for you...?"oh wait nope, mss are now just a useful fear test.So now the only real use you'll find for him in a duel is whacking them with a stick.

==Letter to Inquisitor Valeria==
This is the (in)famous little piece of fluff that has made Trazyn so likeable to /tg/, contrasting nicely with all the grim darkness around. Do note that it is unclear whether he's straight serious, indulging in some elaborate trolling or even both at once.

''Dear Lady, let me express my fulsome appreciation for your most generous gift. It is so very rare to discover another of my own kind that appreciates my work, therefore to find understanding amongst a member of another race is nothing short of a revelation. I realise that you briefly trod my galleries, but the fact that you spotted in so short a time that my Acabrius War collection was lacking three regiments of Catachan warriors reveals that you truly have a collector's eye for detail. And to send five regiments! Such generosity will allow me to weed out and replace a few of the more substandard pieces in my collection. If I might level a minor criticism, the instructions issued to your gift were manifestly not as clear as you thought, as most of them had to be forcibly restrained. Sadly it seems that the lower orders will always behave like an army of invasion, whether that be their purpose or not. However, this is a minor complaint and seems almost churlish under the circumstances, so please allow me to repay your gift with one of my own. Accompanying this message is the Hyperstone Maze, one of a series of Tesseract Labyrinths constructed at the height of the Charnovokh Dynasty. It is a trinket really, only of interest to scholars such as you and I, but I trust you will find it amusing; assuming you have the wit to escape its clutches, of course.''

==The Infinite List of Dickings==
[[File:Trazyn2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Daww]]
Trazyn is universally regarded as a <strike>[[Eldrad|huge dick]]</strike> pretty fun guy to be around due to his <strike>[[Blood Ravens|rampant kleptomania]]</strike> erudition and wit. Here is a list of his <strike>crimes</strike> many-splendored accomplishments, compiled for the <strike>warning</strike> edification of /tg/.

* Killed five invading regiments of Catachans, then turned them into [[Wargame|miniatures for his collection.]]
** Sent [[Inquisitor Valeria]] fan mail (maybe, we can't tell if he was being sarcastic in the letter) attached to an armed tesseract labyrinth [[Blood Ravens|as a reward for "gifting" him said Catachan regiments.]] Being a true gentleman, when Valeria managed to unravel said tesseract labyrinth and use it 'safely', he took it with good grace and they became pen pals of sorts... [[Grimdark|But since no good deed stays unpunished]], as of Fall of Cadia Trazyn has revealed that while Valeria became his human waifu for some time she eventually got [[blam|BLAM'med]] for consorting with xenos, hence why he releases Greyfax the Angery instead of getting Valeria to tag along (Just as planned? How about Tau start summoning daemons for battle? And maybe Orks start building their own webway.)
* Banned from the Necron throne world of Mandragora after trying to [[Ork|loot]] [[Imotekh the Stormlord|Imotekh's]] staff.
** [[Troll|Pops in whenever he feels like it anyway.]]
* Stole Sebastian Thor's [[wat|head]]. Maybe (there's like five other museums claiming to have his skeleton; the only reason Trazyn stands out is because his Thor head is preserved in a jar, rather than a skull).
* Took the World Spirit Shrine of Carnac, an [[Exodite]] world as a trophy for helping to conquer it.
* Uses other Necron Lords as body doubles [[Troll|without telling them.]]
* Told the [[Ultramarines|greatest amongst us all]] he was old pals with [[Roboute Guilliman|Rawbutt Girlyman.]] Considering that one of the pokeballs he unleashed against Chaos at the Fall of Cadia was a bunch of Ultramarines fresh from the [[Great Scouring|aftermath of the Horus Heresy]], he might be telling the truth ("old pals" by his definition, of course. (Wait a second, how the fuck was Trazyn around during the Horus Heresy to steal some ultrasmurfs if the Necrons have only started waking up at the eve of the 41st millennium? God dammit GeeDubs. If the answer is 'time travel' I'm going to have an aneurysm)).
** And then informed them that maybe [[Troll|he was going to take Papa Smurf, as he'd be better off with him than in the company of the Ultramarines.]]
*** And with Rowboat coming back, [[Yvraine|somehow]], for 40k End Times, we might actually get to see how the two know each other. If they actually do. There's every possibility that [[troll|Trollzyn was just lying]].
* <s>Has a fucking PRIMARCH stored at his pad, supposedly... Possibly Vulkan according to White Dwarf.</s> This has been retconned, Trazyn managed to capture one of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] for his collection.
*Told Vulkan He'stan he had the Song of Entropy, luring the Salamanders into a 10-year war with the Necrons. At the end of it, Trazyn pretty much said "just kidding, I don't have the Song of Entropy," as he tried to steal the Spear of Vulkan. Kind of back fired when [[Vulkan He'stan]] decided to just give him the Spear. ''Tip'' first. He'stan was pretty pissed when he learned Trazyn just jumped into another body.
** Twice.
*Invaded the Imperial planet of Midgardia and nabbed a C'tan shard of Nyadra'zatha, despite [[Logan Grimnar]]'s attempts to stop him. It's notable that he pulled this off in Logan's own codex supplement, where most other battles in the book were a resounding Space Wolf victory. To be fair, Space Wolves destroying (and thus accidentally freeing) a C'tan shard would make them look like an assholes. I mean even more assholes than they already are.
**In retribution, Logan hunted him down to another planet, Vhaloth IV, and ended up kicking Imotekh's ass instead. ([[Just As Planned]]. The dick deserved it for hanging on to his staff anyway.)
* Captured an Ork warboss and the Deathwatch kill team that was hunting said warboss, and sat them in front of each other in his collection for all eternity. And he double-checked they were both still self-aware, just to feel them suffer.
* Caught a bunch of tech priests evacuating from the necron invasion of Magogue, and set them up in stasis as a monument to that planet's fall. Notable because he pulled it off in the Skitarii codex. Trazyn's apparently the go-to guy for being able to win outside of his own codex.
* May or may not be the one pulling the strings behind the events of [[Xenology]], as probably he won't have any problems impersonating a C'tan shard.
* Has been hanging out on Cadia for who knows how long as the "man of iron" which all but confirms the pylons are necrons made.
* Steals Creed himself after the fall of Cadia.
* Steals Papa Smurfs' (The Ultramarine bloke that can't spell Robert properly) pillow from his lumber.
* Stole an Emperor's Children's gene-seed tithe ship containing thousands of progenoids.
* Traded it for the only perfect clone of [[Fulgrim]], thus dashing the only hope of the Third Legion rebuilding itself and becoming more than a bunch of depraved sick fucks.

==Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List==
[[File:TrazynAndDiomedes.jpg|thumb|right|300px|There can only be one true magpie.]]
*Old one eye's lost eye
*Kartoth the Bloodhunger, both so he can say he won the game as well as rip holes to go back in time for more collecting.
*[[Abaddon]]. No, really, that's (one of) the reason(s) he came to Cadia in the first place: he wants to add the Warmaster of Chaos to his collection!
*[[Saint Celestine]]. (Go read The ''Fall of [[Cadia]]'', this is not a joke!)
*A lock of the Emperor's hair (Assuming it hasn't rotted away by the time he gets to Terra).
*[[Magnus the Red|Magnus the Red's]] favourite eye.
*An 8th edition Sisters of Battle codex.
*The [[Sanguinor]] in a stasis field.
* One Sister of battle issue vibrator from each Order with viewing martial.
*<s>A living Tyranid zoo (no stuffed dolls for our old collector). Would be much easier to accomplish if 'Nids didn't try to keep the fuck away from Necrons and their worlds.</s> Never mind. He gave up on this one after his specimens broke out of their exhibit and ate half of Solemnace. Attempting to redo it on another planet near Solemnace.
*One of each type of Eldar Aspect Warrior, arranged in complementing color order.
*Each [[Phoenix Lord]], including the fallen Ahra or Drazhar (just in case he's Ahra); bonus points for the originals. Otherwise, something from them, such as one of [[Asurmen]]'s twin-linked [[Shuriken Catapult]]s or a lock of [[Jain Zar]]'s hair (bonus points for getting things from all of their incarnations).
*A signed autograph from each Primarch. (Still asking [[Orikan the Diviner|Orikan]] for "access" to his time machine so he can get one from [[Ferrus Manus]], [[Horus]], [[Sanguinius]], and [[Konrad Curze]] since they're all presently busy being dead.)
*A signed autograph from each chaos god.
*A sweet ride so he can cruise the galaxy looking for new junk.
*The [[Baneblade#Fortress of Arrogance|Fortress of Arrogance]], preferably with [[Commissar Yarrick]] as well.
*[[Sammael|Sammael's]] Jetbike.
*A [[Pauldron|shoulder pad]] from each space marine chapter (Pre-heresy legions and post-heresy chapters all together of course, going for the complete set!)
*A Space Marine from each of the first Legions (this collection would be easily finished if not for the fact that he cant find any marines from the two missing legions).
*A painting of one of the Emprah, Tzeentch, Cegorach, and the Deceiver's card games.
*A circus filled with nothing but Eldar Harlequins.
*A <s>school report and childhood items</s> first set of kid-sized slave shackles of Asdrubael Vect.
*A garage filled with one of each type of the Imperial Guard's tanks.
*A feather from Sanguinus's wing.
*An Imperial Titan that has been CREEEEEEEDed.
**A snap shot of the look on Abaddon's face upon seeing aforementioned Titan in the middle of his battle line, shouting CREEEEEEEED
*Abbadon's arms. Creed hid them so well that even Trazyn is having trouble finding them.
*A matching pair of [[Angry Marine]] Powerfeet.
*A pair of a Sisters Of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties from each Order, stolen from their quarters while they are asleep. Is surprisingly hard to pull off, even for Trazyn.
*A set of [[Lelith Hesperax|Lelith Hesperax's]] Combat Attire after a fight. This is even harder to pull of than the Sisters of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties.
*One of the fingers from the Talon of Horus.
*Slaanesh's entire porn collection.
*One of Ferrus Manus's hands. He isn't picky which.
*An [[Imperial Knight]] from each house.
*The Panacea STC.
**And since [[Lady Malys]] got there first, anything cool she owns, as well as a selfie with her before and after she realizes he stole her stuff.
*The Eye of Horus. As in the ''actual'' Eye.
*Commander [[Puretide]] and/or [[Farsight|all]] [[Shadowsun|of his]] [[Shas'O Kais|students]].
*A calm and rational [[World Eaters|World Eater]] marine.
*A clean and disease free [[Death Guard]] marine.
*A [[Emperor's Children]] marine who shows restraint.
*Alive and fleshy non-sorcerer [[Thousand Sons|Thousand Son]] marine. (As of Ahriman: Unchanged, there is now exactly one of these)
*Remnants of the Inquisitorial acolyte who died of old age. Ones aged by a [[Hrud|Hrud's]] entropic field do not count.
*The cure for the [[Red Thirst]].
**A photo of The Blood Angels' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them.(bonus for [[Dante]]'s reaction with his mask off)
*The cure for the Curse of the Wulfen.
**A photo of The Space Wolves' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them.
*The right hands of [[Helbrecht]], [[Eldorath Starbane]] and anyone else who had their right hands cut off by Imotekh.
*At least one [[Jokaero]].
**And anything they make/modify.
*A [[Female Space Marines|Female Space Marine]].
*As many [[Catgirl|catgirls]] as possible.
**Along with a selfie with each of them.
***And as many [[Kitsune|kitsunes]] as possible, along with selfies and a shrine to their name.
*Any 100% reliable information about Alpha Legion.
*Any 100% reliable information about Alfa Legion.
*The Blood Ravens Armoury. Since most of the above was already "gifted" to the Chapter.
*A machine to control the [[Warp]] so he can create impossible things.
*A complete and unblemished cosmetic kit 'gifted' by a [[Pretty Marines]]' Company Captain, still with a wrapping bow attached. (Getting one each from both Loyalist and Chaos Pretty Marines Captains would be even better!)
*The very [[Ethereal|Ethereals]] who united the [[Tau]] race back when they were limited to only their homeworld, or their bodies.
*A picture with Kharn.
*One of each type of Imperial Assassin in the position they held before trying to kill him. This wouldn't be so problematic if it wasn't for the fact that he has yet to convince the Assassinorium to send a Culexus assassin against him.
*A 1st Edition copy of the [[Codex Astartes]] with Roboute Guilliman's autograph on the dust jacket.
*A recording of Warboss [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] famous: "Wez gonna Waagh!"speech.
*A prison capable of holding [[Cypher]], containing the man himself.
*<s>A STC detailing how to finally have enough Dakka</s>. '''*KRUMP* HERE...HERESESS...BLOODY 'ELL WHOTEVER DAT WORD IS YOU 'UMIES KEEP SAYIN' BEFORE Y'SHOOTS EACHUVVER!'''
*<s> An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Warhammer Fantasy.
*An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Lord of the Rings.</s> (Trazyn has now accomplished this according to some writefaggotry posted on fanfiction.net. Much nerd [[rage]] shall ensue. You have been warned.)
*<s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Wars.</s> (He has also accomplished this due to MORE Writefaggotry on Fanfiction.net.)
*An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Trek (Risky, considering the technologies in Star Trek, he just might actually end up as a collectible himself or be tracked back to his home dimension).
*All the NON-Grimdarkness of the 41st millennium in a bottle. So nothing in bottle then.
*[[Temperus Maximus]]' Adamantium Cigar. Trazyn almost managed to loot this, but Temperus suddenly called an Orbital Strike on top of himself before this happened. Temperus' armor received minor scorch marks when the strike ended and Trazyn's body double was obliterated.
*One marine from each chapter of the cursed founding.
*A death corps of Krieg gas mask serial number 0000000000000000000000001.
*Names, addresses and personal phone numbers of the two unknown Primarchs.
*Cardinal Anton Fedelicus and his collected writings, which if introduced would have allowed for a very large degree of sexual freedom to have been integrated into the ecclesiarchical theology without increasing the risk of Slaaneshi corruption.
*A living [[Astral Knights|Astral Knight]].
*A "lucky" [[Lamenters]] marine (also count as one of the cursed founding collection).
*A working time travel device create by the [[Ordo Chronos]] ([[heresy|if it was ever made]]). The purpose for this device being, you guess it, collect more artifact from the past.
*His own body double in an alternative universe, if only he did not manage to turn into [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|dimensional sponge]] in the process or lost to his alternative self in a collection contest.
*A lock of hair from each of the [[Tarkus|infamous]] [[Boreale|baldraven]] [[Diomedes|marines]].
*A "My First Assault Cannon* box set (even better if unopened).
*A photo of the Emperor as a boy.
*As well as all of his photographic recording scatter throughout the time, whether it is rock scribble from the stone age or painting in the Da Vinci Era or the youtube video he has made back in 20XX.
*A [[Squat]].
*A living Boneripper.
*The personal battle standard of [[Gabriel Angelos]] used at his ascension to chapter master.
**The Blood Ravens also want one of Trazyn's personal banners.
*An Ogryn's 'Guardsman's Primer: Colour Book Edition' and matching 'The Great Crayon Crusade' coloring set.
*The oldest dreadnought of each Space Marine chapter.
*Samus' armor.
*The Entire first Season of "If The Emperor had a text-to-speech device" in blue-ray signed by Chapter Master Alfabusa.
*Limited collectors edition of Half life 3(After all, it's only been 38,000 years in development, maybe Valve will finish it before chaos/da WAAAAGH/the Tyranids/Imotekh's ego consumes the entire world!)
*[[Sly Marbo|Sly Marbo's]] personal pistol, though not even Trazyn is willing to try and collect it.
*An actual ork sniper.
*Butlin-Class Titan.
*The [[Men of Iron|Man of Iron]].
*<s>The Cigar Creed always chews but never smokes.</s> Acquired as part of the new Creed exhibit.
*The legs from an Imperial Sentinel (must have attachment for his own legs)
*A list of names of the fallen to wave at the Dark Angels.
*A ham personally provided by the Ordo Draigo.
*A book borrowed from the black library with a selfie of him and Cegorach.
*A picture of himself before he turned to necron.
*The best pole dancer in the Commorragh in a stasis chamber.
*The best pole dancer out of all Slaanesh cultist in a stasis chamber.
*A photograph of a Cyclonic torpedo the moment it impacts the ground.
*A group photo of Thunder Warriors with Arik Taranis and the Emperor.
*An acknowledgement from GW that Malal does indeed exist.
*An actual affordable GW Warhammer 40k miniature from any faction.
*[[Carlos McConnell]], or at least one of his catgirls, in a stasis chamber.
*A jar of [[Skub]].
*The book "[[Standard Template Construct]]" for dummies.
*Sensible [[Blood Angels]].
*Hairless [[Space Wolves]]. Being shaven doesn't count, the Marine has to be hairless naturally.
*A copy of Battletoads.
*The Statue of Liberty, shrunk to 10 feet size and taken from Nova Yourk hive of Merica.
*Blueprint of [[Angron]]'s Butcher's Nails.
*A WW2 Era Luger pistol, original.
*Enough Blood for the [[Khorne|Blood God]].
*Enough Skulls for the Skull Throne.
*One of Roboute Guilliman's new [[Primaris Marines|Super Space Marines]].
*A Pokeball that can Hold a C'tan.
*A Living member of the Interex.
*A Picture of Eldrad and Vect trying to out-dick one another.
*An STC that has technology that will allow him to do some Dark Eldar Drugs.
*A video of Nemesor Zahndrekh putting on glasses and realizing that he is now a Skeleton Robot and the Other Necrontyr are not what they seemed to be
*An member of an Alien race the Imperium actually gets along with. (<s>Pretty damn impossible.</s> ([[Yvraine]]. Next?)
*An Ork who can actually think.
*An Autograph from [[Nagash]].
*A video of Yarrick taking over the Orks. (<s>Only a Matter of time now</s> [[wat|It's mentioned in the 8E rulebook that the Orks and Humans on Armageddon formed an alliance to fight chaos, so this is pretty much canon now.]])
*The Golden Throne. That means Trazyn is not allowed on Holy Terra.
*[[Belisarius Cawl]].
*<s>Enough DAKKA.</s>'''WUT DID WE SAY 'BOUT DAT?'''
*An official GW ninth age tournament.
*[[Farsight#The_Dawn_Blade|The Dawn Blade]].
* A clone of [[Fabius Bile]], not as an exhibit but just to make conversation with. He nearly got one if Fabius Bile didn't decide to trade him his Fulgrim clone instead.
* [[Lorgar|Lorgar's]] diary, the single largest source of [[heresy]] in the universe. He puts this one off due to the aura of discomfort that radiates from anything Lorgar has touched
* A pyrophobic [[Salamanders (Chapter)|Salamander]].
* The Emperor's text-to-speech device.
* [[Old Man Henderson|Old Man Henderson's]] gnomes.
* All Nintendo World Championship cartridges, both regular and gold.
* One of those [[Noise Marine]] sonic guns that looks like a sweet guitar.
* A member of the Death Korps of Krieg with self-preservation instincts.
* A living [[Sensei]].
* A set of [[Rogue Trader]] era [[Beakie]] Armor.
* The rest of the Blackstone Fortresses.
* [[Commissar Fuklaw|Commissar Fuklaw's]] cap.
* [[Cultist-chan]] in a sound-proof cell.
* A recording of Tzeentch saying [[JUST AS PLANNED]] in every know language.
* One of [[Dranon|Dranon's]] cigars.
* Donald Trump's hair.

==Ever-increasing Trazyn's aliases List==
*Arsène Lupin
*Pepe
*Bob The regular non-necron guardsman.
*Bob the Builder
*The Fat Controller
*Every notable persons from your childhood
*Borris the generic soul-less warrior
*Phaeron Imothephek the Thunderboltlord.
*Onionkyr the Voyager.
*Nemesor Zahnpasta.
*The grinch
*Barack Obama's birth certificate.
*Vanguard O'Brien.
*El Bandido Dickbag de la Muerte
*Trellsin the Singular.
*[https://youtu.be/v4Y4QBL5Fmg Bender][https://youtu.be/OWPfcEOr2Yg Bending Rodríguez]
*Necropimp
*The most fabulous Necron of them all (after he said this, Sanguinius appeared before him and told him that if he ever said the word fabulous again, he would steal everything he owns)
*Illuminor Spookyras.
*Notc'tan the Diviner.
*Sissy Rack the Loud Queen.
*Dio Brando/ZA WARUDO.
*Thanquol the (In)Competent.
*Marisa Kirisame
*Shas'O Wi A'bu.
*Inquisitor Emprah of Catachan.
*Anon Y. Mouse.
*Captain Inkoc Nito.
*Winona Ryder
*Dean Isle.
*Kaz Miller.
*Mideer Laydee.
*Eliphas the inheritor.
*Commissar Hugh Mann.
*Korporal Dick Goesinzya.
*Canoness Ivanna Purgealot.
*High Scout Henrick Day-o-midis.
*Farsighter Loldrad Gretchinbane.
*Lord-sergeant Ultramarius Sicarius.
*Archservitor Robotnik Wilhelm.
*Warboss Ghozkull Grotstealer.
*Skitarius Ranger Alpha Stroheimus JJ-1337.
*Archon Kim Ke.
*Suede O'Niim.
*John Smith.
*Alan Smithee.
*Kyon.
*Ned Cron.
*Mouse M.D.
*Victor Domashev.
*Bernie Madoff
*Carmen Sandiego
*Lara Craft
*Master Thief
*Sir Welland Dowde
*High Admiral tankcommander Pascual.
*Techpriest 01110100 01110010 01100001 01111010 01111001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100110 01101001 01101110 01101001 01110100 01100101 00001010 .
*Gordon Freeman.
*Mr. Roboto.
*Nyzart the ending
*Nafqa.
*Sly Cooper
*The God emperor of Mankind.
*Mac Tonight.
*The G-man.
*Venom Snake.
*He-Man.
*Skeltor
*Iron Man.
*Albert Wesker
*Gabe Newell.
*SLYYYY MARBOOO!! (When Trazyn assumed this disguise, every necron in the segmentum had a Catachan Fang spontaneously appear in its skull and teleported to self repair, and the knife that appeared in Trazyn's hands had "I'll let you off this time" written on the grip."
*Big Boss Final
*Zharn the Bee Trainer
*Tray the Model Man
*BIg BobbyG.
*alpharius.
*not omegon.
*pantheon of 40k (GW)
*Belisarius Cawl
*Donald Trump's pubic wig
*JOHN CENA!!!
*The Immortal Jod Emper of Space-skeletonkind
*Spartacus
*Danger Powers
*The Second Coming of Matt Ward
*Fresh Prince of Ultramar
*The King of Games
*Mr E. Man
*The real thief of the Primarchs
*Sister Superior Wendy
*Chaplin Hamburglar
*The Doctor
*Norm L. Pearson
*The Lord of the [[Squats]]

===Fall of Cadia===
Oddly enough, it appears that Trazyn decided 'aid' the Imperium in their defense of Cadia (he decided that after 60 million years it would be interesting to play the hero for once). He knows the secrets of the Pylons on Cadia, and he even releases Imperium people from his collection (represented in game by letting you deep strike units, if you take Trazyn in your Imperium army). What a great guy giving up his collection to have more space for other exotic exhibits...
Specifically he got the feeling that something was coming after the Bell of Saint Gersthal started chiming in his collection, messing with the programs of his Tomb World and sending his forces back into stasis, ringing thirteen times before ceasing. He then headed off to the Celestial Orrery on Thanatos to see what the fuck was going on (but not before casting the bell into the webway, [[Troll|hoping it would be as much of a pain in the Eldar's ass as it was his]]). And what do you know, there was but the Crons' watching over the thing could do nothing about it cause they were just meant to watch over the thing, not play galactic peacekeepers (although they eventually let him in, the guards weren't happy that Trazyn was there, due to an incident where some priceless artifact mysteriously went missing the last time he visited). Thus Trazyn decided to take up the role as a savior for once (mostly because he was bored and wanted to try something other than grave-robbing), and find the source of the corruption, which happened to be the little boring world of Cadia.

Long story short, Trazyn went off to Cadia released some parts of his collection (most notably Inquisitor Greyfax, though that is mostly just because his old Pen Pal Valeria was apparently killed by another human), and helped the Imperial forces screw around with the Pylons. Which somewhat backfired to put it lightly, though not that it mattered much to him because he stopped caring about playing the hero role and figured that while he was around he could find something for his collection to commemorate such a historic moment. And while he was originally hoping to claim Abaddon for his collection, his second choice was no less impressive.

''Creed stands alone on the ruined surface of Cadia. He sees a metal giant in a scaled cloak in front of him, hand outstretched.''

''"Ursarkar E. [[Creed]] - This is not your end. Eternity Awaits"....''

==See Also==
* [http://images.wikia.com/heman/images/b/bc/Skeletor.jpg] Compare and contrast, comrades.
* [http://youtu.be/jJh5PETGihs?t=10m16s Epic duel ahead.]
{{Necrons-Characters}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Necrons]]

Tsara'noga

2018-02-24T15:29:03Z

2A01:388:357:150:0:0:1:155: /* Izzit Da Fukken Buglord?! */

[[File:Outsider_necrodragon.jpg|350px|right|thumb|The Outsider in dragon form. There is so little images of him that this would have to do even if it does look a bit like the [[Mag'ladroth|Void Dragon.]]]]
<div style="text-align:left;font-size:1.10em;font-weight:bold;font-style:bold;font-family:Papyrus;margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em">''If ever you see something terrifying, remember there is always something much, much worse...'' - The Grave Warning of The Outsider ''</div>

== Introduction ==
'''Tsara'noga''' AKA '''The Outsider''' was one of the C'tan Gods responsible for [[Tyranids|OMNOMNOMNOMING]] his/its fellow C'tan brethren along with the [[Aza'Gorod|Nightbringer]] during the [[War in Heaven]]. Although in the Outsider's case, he was tricked by [[Cegorach]] instead of the [[Mephet'ran|Deceiver]] into believing that he will gain the power to rule over the material universe if he cannibalized his brethren (fuck knows why a C’tan would even care about something like that). It is not known whether the Outsider is a dude or a chick or simply <s>[[Tumblr|gender flu]]-</s> {{BLAM|BLAM! We just call it a dude for simplistics' sake!}} However of the few fan artworks we have of the Outsider, it seems that almost all of them like to imagine him with dreadlocks like a psychotic robo-Bob Marley or ever as a [[Hot Chicks|her.]] However, for reasons that can only be speculated at, a fragment of each consumed deities consciousness' remained within the Outsider and plagued their mind, driving it insane (It may just be all of the consumed C'tan nagging at the Outsider on how much of a [[Fail|dumbass]] he is for fucking them over and turning them into [[Pokemon]]).

Because of this, the Outsider grew super depressed and fled the known Galaxy before hiding inside a Dyson Sphere to sulk and cry for all eternity. It's safe to assume that he is the C'tan equivalent of [[Corvus Corax]]. It also had a hellish presence, and it caused madness in all who came close; many killed themselves rather than having to face the Outsider. [[Chaos]] ''wishes'' it could inspire this amount of madness. While the Outsider cannot match the Nightbringer for pure force, or the Deceiver for guile and cunning, it is rumored to be the most deadly and dangerous of the four remaining C'tan. This is probably because the rest of the C'Tan gods are divided and Pokeymanned, and The Outsider is the last intact C'Tan god. So if the Outsider ever returned from his exile, the Galaxy would promptly shit bricks. What else would happen when an [[Yog-Sothothery|extra-galactic immortal ethereal entity of overwhelming power, that consumes minds and destroys sanity itself]] returns [https://youtu.be/mkKVixISUgI ''for more?'']

== Izzit Da Fukken Buglord?! ==
There have been rumors going around the [[Inquisition]] that the Outsider is somehow involved with the whole [[Tyranid]] affair, and some even claim that The Outsider is actually the Tyranid's [[Hive Mind]]. Of course such notion is not only [[Heresy]] in the extreme but also quite stupid, as the Outsider has been pretty explicit in not being too interested in Galactic affairs after the incident with him eating his own kin. Plus it would make no sense for a C'tan God to invest in biological engineering. For all the talk of being "the masters of evolution", the Tyranids have been shown recently to not be so infallible as once thought (there are multiple Imperial reports of ''entire'' Tyranid Hive Fleets starving to death because they could not find suitable biomass in time). So why the Outsider would decide to create a powerful but flawed biological race when his buddies down the block were creating the sheer [[Rape|rape machines]] that are [[Necrons]] and their subsidiary rape machines (such as their tank one-shoting, armor-melting, atom-destroying, house-cleaning, homework-helping, tax-doing, blow-job-giving guns) is unknown.

Maybe because it's crazy?

All that ''is'' known at this time is that more speculation is needed.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Ku-xlarge.jpg|The Outsider's home. Large and cozy.
File:245433.jpg|The Outsider in a necrodermis shell
</gallery>

{{Necrons-Characters}}

[[Category:Gods]]