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Grombrindal

2023-05-16T14:29:41Z

2A02:1808:84:C4D:DB68:5030:6C35:CCEB: /* Total War: WARHAMMER */

[[File:White Dwarf Grombrindal.jpg|500px|thumbnail|right|This angry motherfucker right here.]]
{{Topquote|I promised Grimnir there'd be a mighty tally, and I ain't one for breaking such an oath!|Grombrindal the White Dwarf}}
{{Topquote|This is a day to strike many grudges from the great book, for I am the White Dwarf, and only worthy folk appear in my pages... So, let us record great deeds this day, and give these urki scum a right royal hammerin'!|Grombrindal the White Dwarf}}
{{Topquote|'''Wazzock!'''|Grombrindal the White Dwarf}}

'''Grombrindal''', a.k.a. '''The White Dwarf''', is a unique special character from [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] associated with the [[Dwarfs (Warhammer Fantasy)|Dwarfs]] army. On a meta-level, he is the iconic character created as the mascot of the [[Games Workshop]] gaming magazine ''[[White Dwarf]]''. In-universe, he is a mysterious Dwarf warrior with an impressively long, white beard who sometimes appears when Dwarfs are beset by a particularly great and terrible battle, hurling himself into the fray and assuring the eventual victory of dwarfkind and vanishing again (although not always immediately).

He starred in his own comic, and has received more models from Citadel than any other character due to the fact that every few years he gets a special edition model (barring that one time where they simply upped the price of an existing Slayer model and called it him since the paintjob on the box had white hair instead of orange). Most of these models are humorous.

Who 'The White Dwarf' is nobody (canonically) knows, but a theory that many fans share and which [[Games Workshop]] heavily teased throughout the years is that he is the spirit of [[Snorri Whitebeard]], the first High King and the firstborn son of the supreme goddess [[Valaya]] (Dwarf Zeus+Hera) with his father being [[Grungni]] (Dwarf Hephaestus+some elements of Apollo). His siblings and half-siblings (since Valaya had two husbands) count both lesser gods and the ancestors of most of the current kings of the Dwarf race in their numbers.

Snorri's backstory is that before [[Malekith]] got his douchebag ass burned to a crisp by [[Asuryan]], he had explored the world like his father [[Aenarion]] and discovered the Dwarf race. Malekith discovered more about Dwarfs than any Elf and single-handedly made the two races BFFs. Malekith and Snorri were also best buds, so much so that when Snorri lay dying Malekith was invited to see him on his deathbed. Snorri asked Malekith to agree to his dying Oath that Dwarfs and Elves would always be friends, and Malekith agreed (this was later retconned into it being Malekith's king who swore the Oath at Malekith's urging, while Malekith himself remained as ambassador and Snorri's friend). Oaths are VERY important to Dwarfs, and as we all know Malekith later broke that oath by manipulating the dwarfs and the [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Elves]] into a hugely destructive war called the [[The War of the Beard (The War of Vengeance)|War of Vengeance/War Of The Beard]] that ruined both races. The story goes that this heinous betrayal of a sworn deathbed Oath, one of the strongest forms of Oaths there is, between two once-best friends was so mystically powerful it hauled Snorri's soul out of the Dwarf afterlife, and ever since he has been determined to exact vengeance upon all enemies of Dwarfkind. One must wonder how Malekith would explain this to his dwarf bud now that he [[The End Times|got to be king of all the Elves evar]], and thus isn't as much of a vindictive asshole, since Snorri in a '''monumentally lorebreaking''' way forgave Malekith (Dwarf culture is almost robotic, wrongdoing ''must'' be avenged with either blood or gold, forgiveness gets you divine punishment).
[[File:Snorri Is Disappoint.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Snorri, before his death and eternal rebirth.]]
Alternative accounts provided by Dwarfs in his comic suggest he committed such a grave sin of some kind that he is damned to forever be a Slayer, and that he was a lover of Valaya's who became a demigod (can't help but wonder what he thought of that...).

Like the true badass he is, Grombrindal posses up with the two other baddest dwarfs on the planet, [[Gotrek & Felix|Gotrek Gurnisson]] and [[Josef Bugman]] on a very rare and prized anniversary model, and did it canonically with Gotrek replaced with his stepfather Grimnir during [[End Times]] during the last battle where literally every single Dwarf who ever lived (other than Gotrek, who's stuck being new Grimnir) fought against the entirety of [[Chaos]]. <strike>Thankfully</strike> Unfortunately this means he beloved character did not survive into [[Age of Sigmar]]. Or so we thought; he shows up in the Eight Lamentations novel series none the worse for wear, and even Grungi isn't clear how he managed that or exactly what he is. At this point both are so old that they've forgotten exactly how they're related, and just settle on calling each other Grandfather. He also shows up in " Gotrek books Blood of the Old" where he proceeds to be a comic relief character and hinting at his true origins, Saying to Malaneth he used to be best friends with a certain dark elf. After this he shows up in Broken Realms: Be'lakor where he scares away the title character while posing as an old arkanaut armed only with a handtool.

The White Dwarf's arch-enemy/comic foil is the [[Black Gobbo]], a [[Night_Goblins|Night Goblin]] who simply serves as his opposite. Black Gobbo had a short-lived internet magazine to parallel Grombrindal's print one. In many of the more humorous models, the Black Gobbo appears and provides the humor of the scene be it peeking out of an anniversary cake or wearing a gray alien costume.

In [[Vermintide 2]]'s Chaos Wastes mode, Kruber may ask Bardin about Grombrindal. After Bardin says Grombrindal's not an ancestor god but more of a mysterious hero, Kruber will ask if Cousin Okri's comparable to him to which Bardin says yes, but don't tell anyone he said that; which is obviously a very favourable comparison for <s>Grombrindal</s>Okri.

In a meta sense, he serves as a living example of the lost vision of [[Games Workshop]] as a company, as Grombrindal was invented back in the days when creativity was touted above marketing (and before they decided to focus on their cash cows). Rules weren't pointlessly overcomplicated for the sake of dosh, and armies didn't cost entire organs and limbs. In short, Games Workshop [[/tg/ gets shit done|GOT SHIT DONE]], and the Dwarf was a strong figure. However, soon GeeDubs fell for the allure of the money and began exploiting all sorts of methods just to gather more, and in these days, the Dwarf just...vanished, and the magazine followed some time after. Some say this was the Dwarf attempting to abandon ship as the world he knew got sold out for more money.
With the 2014 reboot of the magazine, Grombrindal was found once more, but now he is just a hollow shell of his former glory, used only to answer tedious questions, practically all of them being [[Warhammer 40K|about a universe in the far future]], answered by the powers of the corporation. In a similar way, Geedubs tries almost too eagerly to appeal to everyone, but consistently missing the bigger goal by making things more costly, even if thing became more streamlined.

==On the Tabletop==
[[File:Dwarf Primarch.png|thumb|right|450px|Grombrindal in his comic.]]
His last official posted stats for Warhammer Fantasy appeared in ''White Dwarf'' #348, where he was described as being a Lord choice for a Dwarfs army.
{| class=wikitable
|- valign=top
! Name !! Points !! M !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! I !! A !! Ld
|-
| Grombrindal|| 500 || 3 || 7 || 4 || 4 || 5 || 4 || 4 ||4 || 10
|}

'''Special Rules:''' Ancestral Grudge, Resolute, Relentless
*'''Grombrindal Has No Fear!''' - Grombrindal is Unbreakable. However, this cannot be conferred to any unit he is in, so if they break from a battle, he will always stand his ground and prevents the enemy unit from pursuing.
*'''Disguised''' - Grombrindal can begin play hidden in any unit of infantry aside from a War Machine crew. Note that if he is made the general and begins play disguised, the army cannot benefit from his Inspiring Presence. While he is not on the table, is is presumed to move along with his unit unless that unit either breaks or is slain, in which case he will reveal himself. In any other case, he can reveal himself in the Close Combat phase. When revealed, he must be moved to the frontmost rank, displacing any rank-and-file models.

'''Wargear'''
*'''Rune Helm of Zhufbar''' - Talisman. All fleeing Dwarf Units within 12" of the wearer will automatically rally.
*'''Armour of Glimril Scales''' - Magic Armour. Grants a 1+ Armour Save and a 4+ Ward Save.
*'''Rune Cloak of Valaya''' - Talisman. Grants Magic Resistance (3).
*'''Rune Axe of Grimnir''' - Magic Weapon. Attacks made with the Rune Axe of Grimnir are made at +2 Strength and can re-roll failed to-hit and to-wound rolls. Models wounded by the Rune Axe of Grimnir must re-roll successful Armour Saves.

===The Models===
As if to add insult to injury, for a time, Games Workshop tried releasing special novelty versions of Grombrindal's model. Each model had a limited run, with its mould being destroyed at the end of the year, and they charged exorbitant prices for them. It started with a free model for when he got released for issue #348, then a special anniversary-celebrating collector's edition depicting Grombrindal on a shield being toted by [[Gotrek & Felix|Gotrek Gurnisson]] and [[Josef Bugman]] (where do you think GW got the idea for it in the End Times, hmm?). Then came the wave of novelty versions, including a pirate version, an aviator, a vampire slayer, a movie director, and even a [[Squats|spacesuited Grombrindal]].

In 2016, after 3 years from the last Grombrindal model, he came back in the Age of Sigmar... but no new model, it's just the plastic <strike>Dwarf Slayer</strike> "Duardin Unforged" painted in different colors and with different rules at a higher price. ''Yay''. [https://spikeybits.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/14114470_1686287398359592_806983263_o-Copy.jpg And the rules are basically "Unforged, only with slightly more wounds, D3 damage, and and some epic special abilities].

Making up for this in 2017 two kits were released: the first a diorama of the White Dwarf enjoying his 40th real world birthday [[Squats|wearing Power Armor and swigging from a flagon, surrounded by presents including a Bolter]], while the Black Gobbo lurks from inside the cake. The second a [[Blood Bowl]] pack of him and the Black Gobbo which are useable in the game.

2019 gave us yet another limited-release model for the post-Christmas rush: This time the White Dwarf is now looking like a stuntie [[Magos]] with a beard made of mechadendrites, accompanied by a [[servitor]]ized Black Gobbo. [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1n3hrjao4TRus1Hr_3sItN-vT5uiPrt8c/view?usp=sharing| Fan-written rules for this model can be found here.]

==Total War: WARHAMMER==

In [[Total War: WARHAMMER]] I & II & III '''Grombrindal the White Dwarf''' is a Legendary Lord for the Dwarves; Previously only unlockable via a code in White Dwarf (he was later made free for everyone). Grombrindal is powerful and absolutely fucking '''PISSED''', talking a huge amount of shit to his enemies and being a walking tank leading an army of whatever the fuck he wants as he kicks the teeth of every faction in. He gets his own faction in the combined world map for Total Warhammer III, and starts in Naggaroth, probably with the objective to exterminate every dark elf on the continent. He also gains the exclusive mechanic of invoking the Ancestor Gods for various buffs, with Grimnir's giving battle buffs, Grungni's giving research and construction buffs, Valaya's giving control and casualty replenishment buffs, and Grombrindal getting a buff all to himself which makes him a fucking 4 foot tall Bloodthirster. Thanks to a translation bug, the fanbase now memetically calls him "Alejandro" making him the only Warhammer character to be the focus of a pop song.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
the white dwarf WD 50.jpg|Old school
WDShield.jpg|The model with the special Shieldbearers.
Power of the Ancestors.jpg|Grombrindal being blessed by his mother and fathers.
Grombrindal total war.jpg
Grombrindal vs Chaos Warrior.png
Grombrindal, The White Dwarf.jpg
Igor-sid-26-white-dwarf-40th-anniversary.jpg|Now in[[Ultramarines| Smurf Berry Blue]] for the anniversary
White_dwarf_ronald_reagan.jpg| After Malekith, Ronald Reagan is now his best friend.
GrombrindalWazzock.jpg|Grombrindal always calls it like he sees it.
</gallery>

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Dwarfs]]

Athel Loren

2023-05-16T13:45:44Z

2A02:1808:84:C4D:DB68:5030:6C35:CCEB:

[[File:Athel Loren.PNG|300px|thumb|right|imaging it as a safe haven for racism and hippies.]]
'''Athel Loren''' is a living, self aware forest where the badarse [[Wood Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)| Hippies]] live. It is best known for simply killing anything that dares to enter it unless they are a tree or a Wood Elf. The forest has existed since before the time of the Elves or Dwarfs and was the last place to be destroyed in the End Times.

==Before the Elves==
Like most of the creatures, aside from dragon ogres and dragons, the [[Old_Ones_(Warhammer)|Old Ones]] created the forest by planting the seed that would grow to be the Oak of Ages. [[anime|Basically that super planet life eating tree from dragon ball, but with more magic]]. A bunch of trees grew beside the big tree and Athel Loren was formed. However, it is not known if the forest spirits were awoken when chaos came to bite their ass roots or if they have been awake since their birth.

Yeah well... the forest was basically not important before this point, no one came near it because it is full of creepy strange magic that makes time go weird. If you were stupid enough to walk in you could be there for twelve years only to leave and find that a second has passed since you entered in the rest of the world, or maybe you go in for a second and find a century passed in the world you left. Time doesn't matter in the forest, no one could keep track of it even if it did, the forest is weird.

==When the Elves arrived==
When the elves came to colonize the old world by setting up a colony on would-be-bretonnia, they found the forest and did some pretty gay stuff with the treekin since they were a lot nicer back then. Then demons showed up and fucked up everything, reducing most of the land covered by roots from the oak of ages to shreds. See the thing is that the forest once had the root covered everywhere, from athel loren to even the land of norsca (before it was occupied by chaos rape vikings) but demons fucked all that up that [[Imperium of Man|the forest is but a shell of its former selves]]. After the war with demons, the various living tree creatures were kind of butthurt by this event to the point that they were able to evolve into more of a warlike form that is capable of fighting outsiders. The event also draws the forest and the elves closer than ever before since they were butt fuck buddies at war.

Then the [[Dwarf]] and the [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|High Elf]] kingdoms had a [[The War of the Beard (The War of Vengeance)|big war the Elves called the War of the Beard and Dwarfs call the War of Vengeance]], which fucked over the Elf colonists who were still on the continent (thank you Malekith!). The rest of the elves of Ulthuan abandoned them to go save themselves from [[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|a bunch of backstabbing cunts]] so the disgruntled colonists decided to go find a new home. The spirits of the forest, particularly the giant treeman named [[Durthu]], had been calling the colonial Elves in a way that affected their most primitive instincts, drawing them into its depths as allies tied to the forest.

Dwarf culture heavily involves [[Book of Grudges|Grudgekeeping]], or recording EVERY sleight and paying it back. Although the victory of the Dwarves saw them strike out the Grudge that began the war, many Grudges remained from actions during the war. Being a bunch of racists, the Dwarves saw the remaining Elves as the targets for revenge and pursued them into the wilds. The ruling Spirits of Athel Loren, a rather moody Fey butterfly queen named [[Ariel]] (actually the mother and main goddess of all Elves, [[Isha]]) and an outright hostile Satyr king named [[Orion]] (father of all Elves and a god of the hunt [[Kurnous]]), decided not to instantly kill all the Elves and instead lead them to the Oak of Ages, the heart of the forest. When they got there the Forest talked to them, told them about how it wants them to stay and protect it during the winter. The treemen however regretted the invitation as they were massacred by Dwarves, and came to resent all fauna as a result.

==Winter is Coming==

The forest of Athel Loren is sentient, it skullfucks anything that messes with it and is very much alive. Most trees (you know.. not evergreen ones) wilt in winter, Athel Loren is no different and during the winter months will go into a long sleep only to wake again in spring. During winter the entire forest is basically just another forest, albiet with weird time warping. This however is where the wood elves come in, because while in winter it's 'just another forest', it's still 'just another forest' where the tree speak <s>vietnamese</s> Fan-Eltharin, meaning attacking it in winter (and with it being warhammer ''fantasy'' a winter campaign is no small feat in on it self) is not much easier. Of course during the rest of the year the forest is fully capable of protecting itself meaning any attacker has about a few months at best to try and do damage to Athel Loren before the trees wake up and start murdering you along side the elves.

==Things that live there==

Athel Loren is full of some of the most kickarse old world creatures in the entire game. Starting off do you like tree people? Well they are there and they are awesome. Every treeman has a serious beef with anything living and not a resident of the forest, like, thorny tentacles raping you angry.

Then there are the eagles and hawks. The eagles are really cool, like their LOTR counterparts they are extremely badarse and fully capable of taking on all kinds of things from worms to giants. The hawks are smaller but there are more of them, the Wood Elves like to bird-nap them and raise them as life long companions to become a murder-death combo known as the Hawk Rider. Fucking innovative name there.

There are also Stags and Unicorns, you might think a stag is unremarkable but it isn't they're super magical and super important, even more important than a unicorn. The unicorns are still very magical though, they tend to get drawn to the Spellsingers like magnets.

After that you got the Wood Elves... yeah ok go find the actual page for them, in short they're badarse tree huggers.

THEN THERE ARE FOREST DRAGONS! What?! Right.. yeah, they're some of the only dragons left alive in the world of Warhammer Fantasy. Bretonnia is full of douchebags that keep trying to kill dragons for their quests and the rest of the dragons are hiding in mountains so the Forest Dragons are descendant of dragons who took refuge in Athel Loren to escape being hunted down and killed. They are super smart and super strong but most of the time they are asleep except for when Athel Loren tells them to wake up and skullfuck some Dawi or Orcs. Sometimes the Elves wake them up and say, hey, can our lord ride you? They're super cool about that though and totally onboard with it, often they make friends with the Elf they work with. They love the news though, if you can tell them about what's been going on in the rest of the world since they slept with sufficient clarity you won't become a roast.

==Blood Bowl==
In the [[Blood Bowl]] universe where American/Gridiron Football replaced war, Laurelorn Vale is the location of the home field of the Elven Union team made up of members of all three Elf races (plus Sea Elves, still sometimes referred to as a fourth race in BB canon). They most likely share this field with one of the Wood Elf teams, The Laurelorn Paladins.

<gallery>
Image:Laurelorn Pitch Summer.jpeg|Elfball at the best of times.
Image:Laurelorn Pitch Winter.jpeg|Elfball when Athel Loren remembers to give you a bog ‘ol “fuck you”.
Image:Laurelorn Dugouts.jpeg|The dugouts and presumably also the stands are an old Elven temple full of mystical stones and braziers and shit. Looks pretty uncomfy.
</gallery>

{{Regions and areas of the Old World}}
[[Category: Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category: Wood Elves]][[Category: Blood Bowl]]