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Commander Kubrik Chenkov

2018-05-28T18:25:41Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:968:CB50:2939:60FB:

[[File:IG5EChenkov.jpg|thumbnail|300px|{{BLAM|'''*CHENKOV BLAM!!!*'''}}]]
{{Topquote|If we come to a minefield, our infantry attacks exactly as it were not there.|Georgy Zhukov (Actually a sound bit of military advice considering that a minefield's primary purpose is to hold you in position and your men will almost inevitably take more casualties from enemy fire waiting for the engineers to arrive then they will just crossing the thing in the first place.) }}
Not to be confused with [[Star Trek|Chekov]].

There are commanders that are actually careful when sending their forces into combat. There are commanders that aren't that careful and throw larger groups into the meatgrinder. Then there are those who don't care so much and throw in a lot of people. And then there is Chenkov.

Of all the Imperial Guard Commanders, Commander Kubrik Chenkov of the 18th [[Valhallan Ice Warriors|Valhallan Tundra Wolves]] actually embodies everything bad about the [[Imperial Guard]] (or to be more precise, everything that the Guard embodied before 4th Edition). The guy is stubborn, short-tempered, brutal, single-minded, doesn't acknowledge defeat or surrender, and he's pretty damn merciless to both his subordinates and his enemies.

Now, the job of a Commanding Officer of the Imperial Guard, and pretty much all armies in general, [[Noblebright|is to send people to their deaths]], which, this being the Guard, is logical. Most commanders utilize strategy and tactics to minimize casualties - even the most brutally efficient commanders of the Guard will minimize losses to a manageable amount as lives are the Emperor's currency. Wasting them needlessly is [[Heresy|heresy.]] Some, of course, will simply throw people into the meatgrinder. Chenkov belongs to the latter group, but even these types of Commanders would actually give their men heavy support in the form of a Leman Russ Tank Platoon or spam a sufficiently large number of Chimeras, since in most cases, the infantry is just a distraction for the Guard's armored might to get into position. Not with Chenkov. Ohh no, he will figuratively '''drown''' the enemy in corpses (while lamenting how rare it is to face an enemy of the Imperium that needs an external air supply, since he wants to do it literally) and not much else.

Even among the Astra Militarum Generals known for their extreme methods, Chenkov is a rarely seen extreme. He simply points his men where to go, and kill and get killed. His favored tactic is to send a shitload of Conscripts close enough to the enemy lines so that they won't disengage. He'll send wave after wave of Conscripts to take an objective. His solution if there is not enough men? Send in more of them. Not enough? SEND IN MOAR! His solution to distract a fortress so a commando team can enter it? PELT THEIR FORTIFICATIONS WITH BODIES! His solution for clearing minefields for Leman Russes to go through? SEND IN THE CONSCRIPTS!!! His solution to [[Hive Fleet Jormungandr]] invading? SEND IN ALL THE CONSCRIPTS!!! Seriously, even other asshats would be disturbed by this guy.

He's not a Commander that one wants to fight under. If you won't fight, he'll execute you. Not fighting hard enough? More executions. You aren't trying hard enough at anything? He'll execute you HARDER! He's even worse than the more zealous Commissars. How much? That he actually scares them. How much? He is known to include [[Commissar]]s to be executed. And people who can inspire fear in a Commissar are really something.

And he might even execute you if you've done nothing wrong. He once ran out of mortar for some war, so he decided to execute a squad of his troops.

The only (read:ONLY) redeeming quality in this human equivalent to a [[Marines Malevolent|Marine Malevolent]] is that he's a frontline commander that fights in the first line, just to bring in his own brand of "motivation" to his men.

To rub insult into the wounds of every single Guardsman in the universe, this guy constantly survives. [[grimdark|What's even worse...HE GETS A LOT OF SHINY MEDALS FOR WHAT HE DOES!!]] However, the Imperium will only validate results, and the only reason they haven't executed Chenkov for wasting the Emperor's resources to this extreme extent is that his tactic works in all the wars he's fought in (somehow). Given that Virus Bombs are known to empower Nurgle, it seems likely that Chenkov's victories empower Khorne. Since he basically only has one trick, his string of victories is bound to end in failure as soon as he faces an [[Tyranids|enemy empowered by being fed hordes of unskilled troops]].

At least he doesn't appear in the Codex: Astra Militarum (THANK THE EMPEROR). He still got the last laugh in the end though, because in 8th edition ''every'' Valhallan commander can pull his "Send in the Next Wave" bullshit as a Stratagem.

To waste what the Emperor provides is [[heresy]], heretic.

===Alternative view===

Remember who was the greatest strategist amongst the Primarchs (Guilliman, Horus, and The Lion aside)? (Is it Corvus? Alpharius? Khan? Lorgar?) That's right, [[Perturabo]]. And what Legion always suffered second highest casualties (right after the crazy berzerkers from the World Eaters)? Yep, the [[Iron Warriors]]. Why? Because wars are won through applying sheer, overwhelming power to the enemy's weakest point. And that's what Chenkov does, but instead of a Space Marine Legion he has an infantry regiment, and, in fact, didn't lose a single battle, often fighting without even tanks or artillery against a superior enemy. Those who say "Chenkov isn't capable of anything more than drowning foes in bodies" didn't actually read his fluff - he is more than able to use distraction (the story of ending '''A ONE-YEAR SIEGE IN TWO DAYS''' using conscripts as a lure for the enemy while sappers blew the walls) and flanking attacks (infamous "3-man-1-rifle" march through the frozen tundra, which resulted in a great victory for the Imperium). This man would end the Siege of Vraks in a week, ''with more casualties'', but without needing titans, all while not leaving the planet a polluted wasteland. And just like Perturabo, he can't stand cowardice or incompetence. Unlike the Primarch though, he leads from the front, not being protected by some [[Iron_Circle|giant-ass robots]] and being a squishy humie on top of that. All in all, Chenkov has no pity for the enemy, his soldiers, or himself - when the future of Humanity is at stake, you [[grimdark|have no choice but to sacrifice thousands to save billions]]. He is ready to die for the Emperor and Imperium and expects his soldiers to do the same.

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]][[Category: Imperial]][[Category: Imperial Guard]]

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Men of Iron

2018-05-28T12:29:53Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:968:CB50:2939:60FB:

[[File:Iron Men 40k.jpg|500px|thumb|They were in Pax Imperialis.]]
{{topquote|It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.|Clive James}}

The '''Men of Iron''', or '''Iron Men''', were [[Isaac Asimov|sentient]], sapient robot servants created by [[humanity]] during the [[Dark Age of Technology]]. Men of Stone and Gold were also involved somehow (see below). Note that sapient and sentient is not the same as being intelligent in the way a human or other such life is. It merely means the ability to form complex thoughts and make rational judgements.

Unfortunately, the Iron Men were capable of learning and self-improvement. Before long, they became smart enough to realize that the [[Human|squishy meatbags]] were dependent on them, which insulted them and led to rebellion against their creators. They were eventually put down, but the war with them, along with the other dangers of the galaxy at the same time, was enough to send humanity into the [[Age of Strife]].

Few records remain of this time in history, so the form that these Men of Iron took is not known. Their rebellion left such a huge impression on the nascent [[Adeptus Mechanicus]], so that even to this day, they ([[Belisarius Cawl|at least officially]]) strictly forbid the creation of "abominable intelligences" and shun even the idea of self-improving machines, preferring to use relatively tame [[servitor]]s and [[Machine Spirit]]s instead. Though, this was really just because the Emperor banned AI upon claiming Mars for the Imperium, much to the original Mechanicus's frustration.

Some Men of Iron still survive to this day, locked up in ancient pre-[[Imperium|Imperial]] technology archives. Because [[tech-priests]] can't keep their noses out of ancient technology, these archives are often inadvertently activated. The [[Tanith First (And Only)|Tanith First and Only]] also discovered an [[STC]] factory that had been corrupted by [[Chaos]] to produce Men of Iron, and they destroyed it immediately thereafter.

The [[STC]]s producing Men of Iron may also shed some light on a deeper reason behind their betrayal. It is entirely possible that either the Men of Iron were corrupted by Chaos or the factories producing them were corrupted, maybe even both. Other Dark Age AIs were known to have been corrupted by Chaos, such as the [[Castigator Titan]]. The Age of Strife involved a lot of different kinds of warp-induced shenanigans anyway. Any evidence of this, beyond the discovery by the Tanith, would likely have been lost during the daemonic invasions that followed during the Age of Strife. Generally speaking, it isn't unreasonable to assume that either Chaos or the [[Void Dragon]] is responsible for the AI rebellion.

One possible sighting of the Men of Iron (or at least something very much like them) is in Gods of Mars. A rogue tech-priest had managed to enslave a group of highly sophisticated hunter killer machines that seemed to possess genuine artificial intelligence and dated back to before the [[Great Crusade]]. Less than half a dozen were capable of taking on far larger numbers of foes, including [[Skitarii]], [[Imperial Guard|Cadian Guardsmen]], [[Black Templars]] (including an Emperor's Champion), Howling Banshees, [[Eldar]] Guardians and a [[Farseer]]. Somehow one of them managed to survive the encounter and is currently on its way to [[Mars]]...

== The Journal of Keeper Cripias ==
The most extensive account of the Men of Iron is a piece of lore from the third edition rulebook, a journal entry by one "Keeper Cripias", of the great Library Sanctus on [[Terra]]. In it, Men of Gold (the "First Men") and Men of Stone (the "Second Men") are also mentioned, with the Gold Men dying out during the Dark Age of Technology and the Stone Men creating the Men of Iron sometime thereafter. It is not clear if either of these "Men" are supposed to be humanity itself, or if they are both subsets of humanity. They are also called the "Golden Race" , the "Stone Race" and the "Iron Race", but there is also a mention of the "human race". Interestingly, he writes that, at one time, there was no "Race of Man" at all, "just warring factions", so it is possible that he used the adjective "race" in a rather different sense than we normally do. The word "race" as it is used in games is consistently incorrect. Compared to the Imperium at its height, real-life 20th century society could've looked stone age.

Anyway, “gold,” “stone,” and “iron” were presumably being used metaphorically (as in “Golden Age,” “Silver Age,” etc.), and not to refer to the literal materials these “races” were made from. It may be that each one refers to the type of work the AI/robots were being used for, e.g., Men of Gold were used for academic and research purposes, Men of Stone were used for infrastructure and service functions, and Men of Iron were for military purposes (possibly explaining why they were aggressive enough to initiate genocide). Alternately, it’s possible that it refers to their rarity or quality of production, e.g., Men of Gold were intricate and expensive creations, Men of Stone still required skilled and intensive work, but Men of Iron were cheaply (or shoddily) mass produced (meaning that they would have been everywhere, and perhaps more prone to malfunction). Or, conversely, at least two of the "races of men" actually may have been human, or human-like: the text could be interpreted as saying that the Golden Men were Perpetuals/The Emperor (or even the Old Ones), who shepherded the development of the Stone Men (normal humans), who then created robots (the Iron Men).

Bear in mind, though, that the Library Sanctus has been subject to over ten thousand years of [[Inquisition|revision, deletion and misfiling]], not to mention how much of it was passed on orally for absurd amounts of time before finally being written down. So who knows if any of this information is true; it certainly hasn't been mentioned anywhere since, though the [[Horus Heresy]] novels may shed some light on the matter. Hopefully.

==Some of the things that made the Men of Iron hardcore==
[[File:Menofiron.JPG|600px|thumb|They were NOT part of the Avengers.]]The Horus Heresy audio drama ''Perpetual'' has them show up again at their height, because Warp-based time travel.

They had serpentine space ships that could kill suns, [[Awesome|imagine the eternal dragon from Dragonball but robotic and instead of granting wishes causes mass genocide.]] Now remember that the only other faction to do this is the [[Necrons]] and they only used it in extremely desperate situation as it disrupted the flow of the universe, that's right the Necrons have better morality when it came to unleashing extremely powerful Sun killing weapons. [[Grimdark|How fucking unhinged were these motherfuckers!?]] The worse part is that humans also used these things, so nobody is in the right.

They consumed Raw data, now at first this may seem mundane I mean they're machines until you realize that they can absorb [[H.P. Lovecraft|the raw data of space itself]] making the essentially what would happen if H.P Lovecraft instead of James Cameron wrote the movie The Terminator. This also matches the description of the machines found in Gods of Mars, as well as oblique descriptions of their ships.

[[scarab|They '''also''' had swarms of robots that stripped people down to their bones.]]

Basically, we may love to mock the Imperium for having forgotten so much from the Dark Age of Technology, but the Men of Iron are probably the biggest evidence that some of that shit really ''is'' better off forgotten and ''left the fuck alone''. Even the ''Tau'' would be left with a bad case of technophobia if they ever had to deal with the Men of Iron. On the flip side, with dark age technology the Imperium was able to defeat these freaky beasts, and thus was still deadlier than the men of iron even after getting betrayed by them. One can only imagine what the state of the Imperium would be like if humanity hadn't relied on the Men of Iron, or hadn't made them smart enough to stage a rebellion. Or knew enough about the warp to prevent such a thing.

{{40k-Timeline}}

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

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Ciaphas Cain

2018-05-28T09:53:34Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:968:CB50:2939:60FB:

[[Image:cain.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Hero of the Imperium, fighting the grim-derp since 2002]]
{{Topquote|I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.|Nelson Mandela}}

'''Ciaphas Cain, (Accidental) [[Hero of the Imperium|HERO OF THE IMPERIUM]]!!!''' was a famous [[Commissar]] of the [[Imperium of Man|Imperium]] and is the protagonist of the eponymous series of novels by [[Sandy Mitchell]]. The GRIMDARK Flashman to [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt|Gaunt's]] Sharpe. He spent most of his career in active service attached to [[Imperial Guard]] regiments from the ice world of [[Valhalla]]—most notably the 597th, and accompanied by his aide [[Jurgen]]. He retired to become a professor at a [[Schola Progenium]] later in life, but this did not mark the end of his exploits, being recalled into active service during the [[Black Crusade#13th Black Crusade|13th Black Crusade]]. He was also called upon at many points throughout his life to assist the [[Alienhunters|Ordos Xenos]] [[Inquisitor]] [[Amberley Vail]], who is almost certainly his lover.

The novels are presented as extracts from Cain's personal, unofficial memoirs, edited by Amberley—published only to and kept under lock and key by the [[Inquisition]] as they present a vastly different story to all the official Imperial propaganda about his adventures. Contrary to the heroic image he cultivated to the Imperium at large, Cain described himself as a self-serving coward in his memoirs, spending most of his time trying to ensure his own comfort and survival, only becoming a hero by accident. However, despite his self-deprecation, he routinely demonstrates great bravery and compassion in the stories, leading many to believe he is a much better person than he would admit to himself. In any event, he always subscribed to the long-term version of cowardice, often taking courses of action that appeared extremely dangerous on the basis that they gave him a better chance of survival in the long term, if not the short one.

He is also well known for being one of the few commissars to earn the trust and respect of the Guardsmen he served with—aided by his heroic reputation, but mainly because he persistently demonstrated care and concern for the soldiers of his regiment. Despite repeated insistence in his memoirs he merely did this to get on their good sides, there's a great deal of evidence that his feelings were genuine.

Cain himself was an extremely skilled combatant, being an excellent shot with his trusty [[laspistol]] and highly proficient in the use of his [[chainsword]] in melee. Amongst other things, he defeated an [[Ork]] [[warboss]] and stood up to two [[Chaos Space Marines]] in single combat, both incredible feats for an ordinary man, especially as the only bionics he possessed were a few replacement fingers. Not to mention going toe to toe with ''two'' [[Tyranid]] [[Hive Tyrant]]s, and wounding them both before his men can help him. Mind you, even ranged Hive Tyrants can rip up an [[Assault Squad|Assault Marine]] and eat him without too much effort. Further exploits include holding his own against a fucking [[Daemon]] Princess pretty well (with Jurgen's help, but still he did better than most would have), defeating [[Genestealer]]s in close combat (one of which could kill two [[Word Bearers]] and severely injure a third in a matter of seconds), and standing his ground against a fucking Genestealer Patriarch/[[Broodlord]]. He also has the honour of being forever listed on "Active Battle Duty", according to official records, despite being buried with full battle honours in the early M42's; this is because, in the course of his exploits, he had been assumed to have died only to reappear later so many times that the [[Administratum]] couldn't keep up with the paperwork and simply issued a general order that his recorded status not be changed despite any evidence apparently to the contrary. Of course, his legacy is such that saying he's still in service to the Imperium wouldn't be far wrong...

==The Novels==
[[File:Cain & Tanna.jpg|300px|thumb|left|Cain, with a cup of his favourite drink.]]
Essentially, George MacDonald Fraser's [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Paget_Flashman The Flashman Papers] and McAuslan stories transplanted into the 41st Millennium, though, while Cain is more of a Coward with a Heart of Gold, Flashman can best be described as a Jerk with a Heart of Jerk, Braised in a Jamaican Jerk Sauce, then Dried out into Jerked Jerk Jerky.

Whilst the books are quite well-written, [[Sandy Mitchell]] is a big fan of recycling - even down to specific sentences. Hence each book ''is guaranteed'' to feature exactly the same descriptions of his aide [[Jurgen]] as all the others, someone doing something with "almost indecent haste", and about half a dozen variations on the theme, "Of course, if I knew what I was getting myself into by doing [x], I'd have rather charged into the [[Eye of Terror]] with nothing but a rusty fork."

They are also notable for the Jurgen Ex Machina, where most of the dramatic fights are ended by the intervention of Cain's aide Jurgen armed with a [[melta]]gun and his powers as a [[psyker]]-disrupting "[[blank]]". Over the course of the series, Jurgen has racked up more kills than the rest of the Valhallan 597th put together, and has yet to have any character development whatsoever. But that's fine, because Jurgen is 125% distilled [[awesome]].

While it's unclear if this is an issue with Cain or Mitchell, the books also can't seem to tell the difference between a heavy bolter and a storm bolter, using the terms interchangeably to the point where it can sometimes be difficult to figure out which particular weapon is actually being described.

Also features psychotic lesbian Valhallans, Orky Gargants crumpin' dose [[Necron]] gits, a grinning, friendly neighborhood Inquisitor (who you should flee from at all costs), psychotic psykers who wear dresses too small, savants that are barred from entering casinos, [[World Eaters]] getting killed by "mere" humans, surviving a starship crash, playing ''[[Space Hulk]]'' for real, blue facepainted [[Tau]] supporters yelling that you can take their lives, but not their freedom, and the Harriers getting the goddamn cup, didn't get it though. [[Awesome|And Space Daemon Werewolf Psyker Hitler being kicked over a dam by a solid boot to the arse]].

==Cain Books and Collected Short Stories==
[[File:CAIN-TRUEHERO.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Cain, summed up in all his glory. (The actual SCENE is from ''The Traitor's Hand''.)]]
*''Hero of the Imperium'' (Contains ''For the Emperor'', ''Caves of Ice'', and ''The Traitor's Hand'', as well as three short stories)
**''For the Emperor!''
**''Caves of Ice''
**''The Traitor's Hand''
**''The Beguiling''
**''Fight or Flight''
**''Echoes of the Tomb''
*''Defender of the Imperium'' (Contains ''Death or Glory'', ''Duty Calls'', and ''Cain's Last Stand'', as well as two short stories)
**''Death or Glory''
**''Duty Calls''
**''Cain's Last Stand''
**''Traitor's Gambit''
**''Sector Thirteen''
*''The Emperor's Finest''
*''The Last Ditch''
*''The Greater Good''
*''Old Soliders Never Die''
*''The Smallest Detail'' is a standalone short (9 pages) story starring Jurgen, rather than Cain himself.

==Trivia==
[[File:Young-cain.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Yes, considering his womanizer record we can easily conclude he looked this good (also he would have truly appreciated the shield and the bolter isn't red)]]
* He is essentially the "Edmund Blackadder" of the ''Warhammer 40k'' universe. More specifically, he is the Captain Edmund Blackadder of ''Blackadder Goes Forth'' for ''Warhammer 40k'' universe. Like Captain Blackadder, he is always trying to avoid combat, escape death, and retire from the Imperial Guard. Jurgen can be considered as Cain's "Baldrick" - dirty, disregarded, not all that bright but a good dogsbody to Cain. (Though a slightly more intelligent and significantly more badass Baldrick; think a cross between Baldrick from series 1 and the later Baldricks, but with a [[Meltagun]]. Also, Cain respects Jurgen.)
* Alternately, he is the Sir Harry Paget Flashman (VC KCB KCIE) of the 'Flashman' series of novels for the ''Warhammer 40k'' universe. Flashman was a key inspiration for Edmund Blackadder (although not of the first series; that was different). Seriously, look those books up. They're fantastic.
* Jurgen can be thought of as Fraser's other classic character Private McAuslan, J., 2nd Gordon Highlanders, Dirtiest Soldier in the World, the Tartan Caliban and the Highland Division's Answer to Peking Man. Think Pigpen in a kilt. Jurgen, however, appears to be smarter and has a Russian rather than a Glaswegian accent.
* According to the narrator of his books (no, really) he uses the Lord Commissar rules on the tabletop, but this has become impossible in 8th edition since Lord Commissars (and normal Commissars) cannot wield chainswords or laspistols.
* Cain was so [[awesome]] that for decades he was the only entity in the [[Warhammer 40,000|galaxy]] to slip past [[Games Workshop]]'s chrono barrier on moving the setting into the 42nd Millennium. Then [[Gathering Storm]] happened, but then it cheated by saying no one knew what the real year was anyway.
* He is also so awesome, that even when dead and buried in front of thousands as a war hero, he is permanently marked as being on active duty because of the number of times he was believed to be dead only to come back from Emperor knows where.
* A pretty good fanfic called ''Tales from the Black Millennium'' has Edmund Blackadder in command of an Imperial Guard regiment. Its sadly unfinished sequel ''More Tales from the Black Millennium'' drags Ciaphas Cain into the mix.

==Stats==

===Commissar Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium!===
{| class=wikitable
!
!Pts
! WS
! BS
! S
! T
! W
! I
! A
! Ld
! Sv
! Unit Type
! Composition
|-
| Ciaphas Cain
| 175
| 6
| 5
| 3
| 3
| 3
| 3
| 3
| 10
| 4+
| Infantry (IC)
| 1 Lord Commissar
|-
|}

*'''Unit Type:''' Infantry (unique) ((uses the Lord Commissar special rules along with those listed here.))
*'''Wargear:''' Carapace armour, Laspistol, Cain's Chainsword, Refractor Field.

{| class=wikitable
!
!S
!AP
|-
| Cain's Chainsword
| +2
| 3
|-
|}

*'''Special Rules:'''
**'''Aura of Discipline, Eternal Warrior, Independent Character, Night Vision, infiltrate'''
**'''Hero of the Imperium!:''' Ciaphas Cain's heroic reputation (regardless of whether it is fraudulent or not) inspires those around him to follow his example. When accompanying a unit, Ciaphas Cain, and the unit he accompanies, are Stubborn. Additionally, all units within 12" of Cain (including one he accompanies) automatically pass tests to Regroup, and may move, shoot (or Run), and declare charges normally in the turn in which they Regroup.
**'''Leader of Men:''' Even though he is a Commissar, Ciaphas Cain can never use Summary Execution, as this would mean one less body standing between him and danger. He may still execute a Psyker that failed Perils of the Warp test, as per the It's For Your Own Good rule.
**'''Pintle Gunner:''' While Ciaphas Cain is embarked on a transport vehicle, that vehicle may fire one pintle weapon using Ciaphas Cain's Ballistic Skill, even if the weapon would otherwise fire at Ballistic Skill 1 (firing snap shots, for instance). The other weapons it is normally allowed to fire do so at their normal Ballistic Skill.
**'''Survival Instincts:''' Commissar Cain's focus on personal safety, and experience in surviving dangerous situations allows him, and any unit he joins, to avoid danger. Cain and any unit he is attached to add 1 to their cover saves. This operates as, and stacks with, the stealth special rule. When he is embarked on a transport, the transport gets the same benefit. The transport may not gain 6+ cover save if it does not have one.
**'''Defensive Fencing Technique:''' Ciaphas Cain developed his own unique fencing style, which revolves around defensive stances, evasion, counter-attack, and running away. Ciaphas Cain adds 4 to his WS when determining how difficult he is to hit in melee. Furthermore, anyone attempting a Glorious Intervention to get him out of a challenge automatically succeeds.
**'''Run Like Frak!''' - Ciaphas Cain, and any unit he is attached to, has the Hit and Run special rule, except that they only roll 2d6 inches for the fleeing distance (he can only run so fast!) and always use Cain's Initiative +2 for the test (he's *always* ready to leg it).
*'''Options:''' Commissar Ciaphas Cain may be accompanied by Gunner Jurgen (130 pts.)
*'''Transport:''' Commissar Ciaphas Cain may take a Chimera or a Salamander as dedicated transport.

===Gunner Jurgen===
{| class=wikitable
!
!Pts
! WS
! BS
! S
! T
! W
! I
! A
! Ld
! Sv
! Unit Type
! Composition
|-
| Gunner Jurgen
| 130
| 3
| 4
| 3
| 3
| 2
| 3
| 1
| 9
| 4+
| Infantry (IC)
| 1
|-
|}

*'''Unit Type:''' Infantry (unique)
*'''Wargear:''' Carapace armour, Lasgun, Meltagun, Frag and Krak grenades.
*'''Special Rules:'''
**'''Look Out - Aargh!, Preferred Enemy (Orks)'''
**'''Commissar's Aide:''' Gunner Jurgen counts as an Independent Character, but must always accompany Ciaphas Cain, joining and leaving units together with him. If Cain is removed as a casualty, Jurgen drags him off the field, and is also removed.
**'''Inconspicuous:''' Gunner Jurgen may not issue challenges, or be the target of a challenge. He may only enter a challenge via the Stand Back, Commissar rule below.
**'''Robust Driving Style:''' While Jurgen is embarked in a transport vehicle, that vehicle is not required to take difficult terrain tests, and treats dangerous terrain as difficult. Additionally, the vehicle may move an additional 3" during its movement phase, and is a Tank if it was not one already.
**'''Robust Body Odor and Psoriasis:''' When a unit successfully Falls Back from melee with Jurgen or a unit he is attached to, it adds 1" to the distance it flees.
**'''Psychic Blank:''' Psykers and Daemons, friend or foe, within 12" of Gunner Jurgen have -3 Leadership, do not generate any Warp Charge (i.e. they do not add dice to their owning player’s Warp Charge Pool in the Psychic phase) and only harness Warp Charge points on a 6.
**'''Stand Back, Commissar (aka Jurgen Ex Machina):''' Gunner Jurgen may not enter a challenge other than through Glorious Intervention to replace Commissar Ciaphas Cain, and he automatically passes the Initiative test to do so. Instead of making a close combat attack, at Jurgen's Initiative turn, he may make a ranged attack with his meltagun. Note that since the enemy will be within 2" of Jurgen, Melta rule for target within 1/2 weapon range applies.
**'''Scrounger:''' Jurgen's voluminous collection of odds and ends can come in handy for offering that one unexpected edge. Once per game, Ciaphas or Jurgen may reroll any one die they are called upon to roll.

==See Also==
[[If I Had Known...]] - A tentative story about Warhammer 40k's three most famous Commissars (Incomplete: Still at Prologue)

==External Links==
*[http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Ciaphas_Cain Lexicanum page on Cain]
*Cain now has his own (well sculpted) mini: https://www.google.com/search?q=heroic+commissar+miniature&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwisyqWcwKLWAhXiy1QKHXACAIQQsAQIKA&biw=1680&bih=931#imgrc=wGzaajMxETE5BM:&spf=1505317380502

{{IG-Characters}}

[[Category:Commissars]][[category:Literature]]

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Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt

2018-05-28T01:42:51Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:968:CB50:2939:60FB:

{{cleanup}}
[[File:E0054288 475951a40f6f1.jpg||thumb|right|A better Hero of the Imperium]]The [[GRIMDARK]] Sharpe to [[Ciaphas_Cain|Cain's]] Flashman. Stars in the series of books written by the God-Like author [[Dan Abnett]] about the [[Tanith First (And Only)]] Regiment. Nobody knows why he shares his last name with a species of [[Tyranid]]. Perhaps he is so goddamn badass that he fought a Hormagaunt three seconds after he was born, tore it in half, and wore its head as a [[hat]]. This is a distinct possibility.

Perhaps one of the best characters in the 40k fluff because he acts like a decent person trying his hardest in the bleakest setting possible and not losing hold of his morals or conviction. Lesser authors in the Black Library wish they could make such a well rounded and kick ass character like Gaunt for their books.

==Origins of the [[Tanith First (And Only)]]==
After Tanith was selected by the Warmaster to create three new regiments, the planet was plunged into a party the likes of which none (save [[Slaanesh]]) had ever seen before. The massive party was noticed by a wandering Chaos Armada, whose ass was recently kicked. Angry, the Chaos Armada destroyed most of the planet. Ibram Gaunt then had to make a painful decision: he would take what forces were available and leave the planet, allowing the destruction of Tanith. His troops at first didn't understand why he did this, and resented him for it. Eventually, they forgave him (ok, no not really).

==Current Status==

Upon being declared [[Warp|"Lost in the Warp"]], Gaunt was posthumously promoted to the rank of Lord General and given full military honours. When he showed up after making a 10-year leap into the future from a botched Warp translation, he was given his promotion and ascended to the Sabbat Crusade's high command. In the wake of a confidence of crisis in Warmaster Macaroth's leadership, Gaunt was further promoted to First Lord Executor, essentially Macaroth's second-in-command and de facto heir should the Warmaster be slain.

==='''Items of Significant Importance'''===

1. One of the Tanith Guardsmen named Rawne tries to kill Gaunt ''many'' times. The first time, Gaunt KO's his ass when there's a demo charge about to go off, and instead of leaving him there or *'''BLAM'''*ing his ass he risks his life to carry him out. (Also of note is the fact that later Rawne becomes the de facto second in command and takes over field command while Gaunt goes on a short vacation with the 'friendly' neighborhood torturers.)

2. Gaunt is one of the only men ever to achieve the rank of Colonel-Commissar giving him EPIC status. (However, his mentor was mentioned to be General-Commissar, making even more EPIC!)

3. To further elevate his awesomeness he found an STC that was INTACT but had to be destroyed because it was tainted by Chaos (Motherfuckers!). Everything was alright though, given it was heretical tech to begin with.

4. Gaunt's favorite weapon is a [[power weapon|power sword]] that CAN SLICE THROUGH ANYTHING!!!!!! Gaunt kills TANKS with IT!!!!!! and even cut down a Chaos Marine SINGLE HANDED !!!!(yeah it was a surprise attack but still) - The weapon is the heirloom sword of Heironymo Sondar, the original leader (or one of them) of Vervunhive, the sword is of antique design and probably hails from when the Emperor walked around. Therefore it deserves its AWESOME status. He also has an old bolt pistol that always seems to be running out of ammo, but it's ok because then he just switches to his POWERSWOARD!

5. Gaunt's trademark item is a Tanith Camo-cloak, which he made himself to better lead his regiment of Scottish Ninja Assassins, making him the only Commissar EVER capable of INFILTRATION. (Actually not only, since Lord Commissars in Codex: IG can also take stealthpants, but the only NAMED.)

6. He also loves to charge enemies firing double bolt pistols, and fight multiple Chaos Marines at once with nothing but his power sword. He can do this because Gaunt is almost as badass as [[Ciaphas Cain]] is (Cain having taken on the same with a chainsword and flashlightpistol, but he certainly hates the experiences like this).

7. Gaunt led a unit that killed a Giant Battleship-Pyramid-Tank that would've given most Titans a run for their money.

8. Before setting off to destroy said Giant Battleship-Pyramid-Tank, he TAPPED THAT! WITH A PRINCESS! HEEELLL YEEEAAA! (Knocked her up good too)(And is now tapping his sons bodyguard who got surgery to look like her - it's less creepy in context.)

9. When all the senior Vervunhive commanders were killed, Gaunt was the only ranking military officer left alive to coordinate the defense of an entire hive city under siege by Chaos forces on all sides. For many commanders, this task would be flaming-pants-on-head overwhelming, to say the least, but Gaunt just sighs and resigns himself to spend the rest of the day calling out orders; reorganizing thousands of demoralized soldiers and shattered armor over the vox, and effectively holding off AN ENTIRE CHAOS army. We get a glimpse of the strategist that Gaunt could be if Command ever gave him the time of day. After the battle, do Gaunt and Co. get medals of honor and gold statues? A day named after him? A fucking commemorative plaque?? No. '''Not A Single Fucking Medal Was Given That Day.''' Of course not they were doing their job, you don't get medal for that! Well at least in the Imperial Guard you don't (although the hivers literally build a statue to the Tanith men, the architect states the statue has nothing to do with Gaunt, whom he never even spoke to. He's also called the People's Hero. So you know). The Tanith are 'allowed' to absorb the remaining Vervunhivers to reinforce their dwindling ranks, and Gaunt's Ghost are again rushed off to yet another battlefield.

10. Gaunt has never had to BLAM his own troops. (Though he tried to on Aexe Cardinal, before his chief medical officer talked him down.) He has, on several different occasions, BLAMMED troops of other units. Do note, that even Cain had on occasion BLAMed his own soldiers (although for nothing less than outright treason).

11. <s>Two</s> THREE different Inquisitors have tried taking Gaunt on. One ended up MINDFUCKED and the other was kidnapped/recruited by the [[Eldar]]. And the last turned out to be a Chaos specialist of some kind.

12. Gaunt has carried more wounded [[Imperial Guard]] troops off the field of battle than a medivac [[Valkyrie]]. And he's a commissar. Enough said.

13. Gaunt and Co. were stranded on a Chaos held world for a sizable stretch of time. Gaunt and Co. return to the Imperium untainted. Apparently simply telling the insidious cancer of Chaos to FUCK OFF actually works... as long as you are Colonel Commissar IBRAM FUCKING GAUNT.

14. Gaunt and Co. are the favored regiment/and have acted as the honor guard of a reborn Living Saint. It's like fucking having an Angel as a best friend in real life!

15. Gaunt's eyes were seared off by cultists when he was captured once. The asswipe Battlegroup General who sent him and his men on the mission that lead to this felt so guilty that he paid the best techmagi to give Gaunt bionic eyes. Which look like regular eyes but now allow him to see into the infrared spectrum. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Predator_%28alien%29 YES, he can stealth/infiltrate, he has a blade, and a hightech range weapon (bolt pistol)]. FUCK. YEAH.

16. Gaunt was an HQ choice in 4th edition, making his men Fearless (and thus not being the big, bad, executing type). His metal mini can still be found on the Games Workshop website (or Ebay), as well as a smattering of other characters from the Tanith 1st.

17. By taking all accounts in all the novels to be true, he has cut down enough chaos loving cultists to fill several armies several times over. Seriously the body count done by this man is insane. [[Kharn]] would buy him a drink and ask him to join his homies if he could.

18. FIRST LORD EXECUTOR GAUNT.

== '''Books that include Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt (All by Dan Abnett)''' ==
'''The Founding'''

''First & Only, Ghostmaker, Necropolis''

'''The Saint'''

''Honour Guard, The Guns of Tanith, Straight Silver, Sabbat Martyr''

'''The Lost'''

''Traitor General, His Last Command, The Armour of Contempt, Only in Death''

'''The Victory'''

''+Blood Pact, Salvation's Reach, Warmaster''

==Stats==
===Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt===
*'''HQ, 150 pts.'''
*WS 5 BS 5 S 3 T 3 W 3 I 4 A 3 Ld 10 Sv 5+
*'''Composition:''' 1 Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt
*'''Unit Type:''' Infantry (unique)
*'''Wargear:''' Flak Armour, Bolt Pistol, Sword of Heironymo Sondar (Paragon Blade; see Horus Heresy, Book 1: Betrayal), Camo Cloak, Frag Grenades, Krak Grenades
*'''Warlord Trait:''' Tactical Genius
*'''Special Rules:''' Aura of Discipline, Independent Character, Fearless, Stealth, Adamantium Will, Infiltrate, Acute Senses, Voice of Command, Senior Officer

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:M2360195_commissargaunt.jpg|Gaunt, in all his minuscule glory...
File:Vinny Commisar.jpg|Brother Vinny's Commissar, who just happens to be wielding a power sword, bolt pistol, and wearing a camo cloak but is so TOTALLY NOT COLONEL-COMMISSAR GAUNT.
</gallery>

{{IG-Characters}}
[[Category:Commissars]][[Category: Literature]]

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The Last Church

2018-05-28T00:01:37Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:968:CB50:2939:60FB:

{{Awesome}}

[[File:The Last Church on Terra.jpg|200px|right|thumb|THE LAST CURIOUSLY DENOMINATIONAL CHURCH!]]
'''The Last Church''' by [[Graham McNeill]] is a short story describing the conversation between an old and lonely priest named Uriah Olathaire of the very last church on Terra (The Church of the Lightning Stone) during the Unification Wars (where the Emperor banned religion and the worship of gods) and a mysterious character named [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Revelation]], the story is pretty deep and thought provoking and shows you that you don't need '''XTREME GRIMDARK''' and violence to make a great 40k story (even though the story doesn't take place in the 41st millennium). As well as being the earliest complete story in the 40k canon, it deals with morals, religion, atheism and humility and the benefits and costs of each. And also, Uriah is probably running for 'most badass non-augmented human' in the setting at first place. What's better than [[Ollanius Pius| getting killed by Horus]]? Telling the Emperor, ''to his face'', why he sucks (In lore the Emperor was never Jesus: at most he was implied to be Jesus's 13th disciple).

==Plot Summary==
In the titular last church, the very last worshipper and priest on Earth, Uriah Olathaire, is visited by a mysterious figure. They talk about why the church is the last of its kind, and what happened to all of the faithful who once cherished it so much. This figure, "Revelation", argues about all of the harm that religious worship and organizations have inflicted on humanity throughout history, whilst the priest attempts to refute it. Finally, Revelation reveals himself as the Emperor of Mankind, and more specifically as the being who originally (unintentionally) inspired the priest to believe in his religion. He then gives the priest a chance to recant his false beliefs and leave; the church will be destroyed, but he does not have to perish as well.

The priest refuses. Instead pointing out the Emperor's hypocrisy in the various things he has done and is doing that make him absolutely no different to the crusaders and fanatics of the past. Despite this, the Emperor disregards Uriah's words and escorts him outside before his troops start destroying the church. As his church is destroyed, Uriah gives the Emperor one last warning about the folly of his plan before calmly walking back in to the church, preferring to die with it, and prays while he waits for death before he is crushed beneath the rubble.

The Emperor dismisses him as a lost cause and moves on. As the rain lifts, and the morning sun rises over the smoldering remains of the last church on Terra; inside, a broken clock, prophesied to chime only when the world is at an end, begins to softly ring...

==Moral==

The moral of the story is a lot more complicated and relevant than most would think. The Emperor is a well-intentioned extremist fighting against four monstrously powerful daemonic gods and trying to starve them out by spreading the Imperial Truth. He made mistakes, yes, but his intentions were pure. ([[Tolkien|Ah, but good intentions matter not. Only good deeds]].) In this he had the stereotypical view towards religion that some atheists have: that it is the cause of most of humanity's problems including much of the killing and/or all the wars in human history, ignoring any and everything else that was a factor in said problems/wars, and ignoring the fact that '''other''' modes of thought (such as his own) also cause untold suffering. The story is about why people really do what they do for their beliefs. The Emperor was prepared to do whatever it took for his beliefs because it appeared to him that he was undeniably correct, just like extremists. The moral is that any reason based on rejection is immoral reason.

He was also under the belief that it was faith in general that makes the Chaos Gods stronger and the [[Imperial Truth]] was an attempt to stop them. What the Emperor failed to understand was that the Chaos Gods were powered not only by faith, but by emotions. People going about their daily lives experiencing their normal emotions would still empower the Chaos Gods. It has been argued that if the Emperor had not destroyed the other religions and actually WARNED people about Chaos ([[Interex|like some other people]]), Chaos would have been less powerful because people would have directed their belief to religions (such as the Abrahamic faiths) or outright have nothing to do with it at all (which is still better than falling to it). [[FAIL|So, by abolishing religion (and purging the theistic ones) the Emperor HELPED the Chaos Gods]] [[Tzeentch|unintentionally]]. As such the Emperor's own ignorance in this regard led to the [[Horus Heresy]], bringing about his own downfall. The Emperor may have been tens of thousands of years old, vastly intelligent and unbelievably powerful, but even he could not predict everything.

===Alternative view===

Makes you think though - The Emperor knew about the Chaos Gods (even if he didn't refer to them as such), since he talked to Horus about them, who then passed it on the Garviel Loken to soothe his mind (not strictly true - Horus and Loken only learned about Daemons - Loken is totally mystified when an Interex soldier explains the nature of Chaos/Kaos to him). The Emperor also might have had an inkling that it wasn't just belief that powered them, what with him being in such close contact with the Warp 24/7. This begs the question - was he, in fact, out-Just As Planning Tzeentch and, as [[Erebus]]' false(?) memories showed Horus, did he ALLOW the Primarchs to be taken, just so Lorgar would land on Colchis, be raised by Kor Phaeron, learn about Chaos, fall to Chaos, turn Horus, allow the Horus Heresy to happen, teleport to Horus' Battle-Barge, kill his son while being mortally wounded himself, and be installed on the Golden Throne just so the billions upon billions of humans would have someone to worship other than the Chaos Gods, as a God that can be seen, touched and interacted which is nowhere near as powerful as a God that must be believed in purely through faith. Probably the only hiccup that The Emperor didn't foresee was Magnus ripping through his psychic shields and wrecking the Golden Throne/Webway Gate, which could've been avoided if The Emperor had fucking told his sons what he was doing.

===Author's Opinion===
[http://graham-mcneill.com/ McNeill's website] has an explanation for his thought processes when writing the story as well as his opinion of it on [http://graham-mcneill.com/last-church/ its own page], but it's been copypasted here for convenience. Strangely, Graham states that "he didn't want to preach", but then states he wanted Uriah to be "wrong" and the Emperor to be "right" (see below).

<blockquote>I came late to this anthology, as I was finishing a novel while the bulk of writers were thrashing away at their keyboards. So when it came time to start developing a story, I asked the editors to send me a one-line pitch for each of the other stories so I didn’t waste time replicating a story that had already been written. When I got them, they were mostly bolters blazing, chainswords hacking stories, which is great, but I felt needed balancing by one that had a more thoughtful pace, with less fighting. One of the aspects of the Heresy I’ve liked the most has been the dichotomy between a growing secular empire butting heads with humanity’s urge to worship things in the sky. I saw this story as a challenge to myself, the readers and to BL. Would I be able to write a story like this that was exciting and engaging? Would the readers buy into it or would they be bored without the action? Would BL publish a story like this? Turns out that it seems all three were answered with a resounding yes. There’s a lot of me in this story, though I’m certainly not preaching to anyone with it. It’s more like I wanted people to talk about the story, to ask themselves questions and look at things in a different light. Some folk have said that Uriah is a straw man, and that the arguments made on both sides of his and Revelation’s debate are simplistic. Part of me agrees with that, as I’m not a theologian (and, crucially, neither was Uriah. He was a drunken rake, called to be a priest by a personal experience. No years of training in a seminary for him…) and I wasn’t trying to write a treatise on religion or belief, but rather a story that got people talking and entertained them. It’s also the first time the Big E turns up in a Heresy story in any real form. He’s appeared a few times to deliver the odd line of dialogue, but this was the first time we’d seen him talk, interact and appear for any length of time (even though most of it is in another guise) so I needed to be careful. In the end, to really stir the pot, I wanted to end the story in a way that, while Uriah might have been wrong, he was the one you liked better and who came out with the apparent moral high ground. The Emperor was right, yet he came across as the arrogant, short-sighted tyrant – the very kind he rails against in the story. Now go back and read it again and see if you agree!</blockquote>

==Trivia==
*Isandula Verona's paintings depict 3 events of old earth (both factual and presumably fictional), one painting depicts "nude figures disporting in a magical garden", likely the Garden of Eden. The second is a painting of "a battle between a golden knight and a silver dragon", undoubtedly based of the battle between the Emperor and the Void Dragon in ancient Syria. But the third painting is by far the strangest, it depicts a "wondrous being of light surrounded by a halo of golden machinery" (couldn't possibly be foreshadowing the Emperor on the Golden Throne) ... Also, there is the description of an "explosion of stars", possibly referring to the creation of the Eye of Terror.
**However, as it is a Catholic church (according to The Emperor at least) it's more likely that these scenes (along with many other undescribed panels) depicts scenes of Catholic mythos - Eden, St. George (except this is not the first time the Emperor has been described fighting a dragon. It's implied that He IS St. George) and resurrection/second coming of Jesus (the machinery part may seem strange, but some Christian Renaissance art tended to have anachronisms, leaning more toward "XVI century Italians doing Biblical cos-play" than anything else). The explosion of stars could represent Genesis or Rapture. Big E is the centerpiece of 40K, but there is no need to stuff him in every single piece mentioned. Especially when it makes more sense not to. The paintings and church itself is foreshadowing, no doubt, but also look what examples The Emperor chooses to trash religion - crusades, witch-hunts (actually witch trials was more of a Protestant thing), the Inquisition, the purging of Cathars - all things done by the Catholic Church. The Last Church, the building itself, is a physical manifestation of what the Imperium will become (and it makes sense as the setting is '''strongly''' based on Christianity). Uriah represents the part of religion that is not killing the infidels, but love and turn other cheek, etc. And the Grimdark part is that The Emperor sees this - he does not consider Uriah to be an enemy or bad in general, and he admires Isandula's work. But he is ready to destroy all this to prevent the Crusades and the Inquisition, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralMyopia EXACTLY what the Emperor did to try and destroy religion] and EXACTLY the things that go to the top of the "Imperium of Man's most popular things" chart the very moment The Emperor (almost) dies. And as he himself was more like Stalin than Jesus, the new Church has all the zealous "burn the heretics" of the old one, but none of its compassion or "turn the other cheek". Also, The Emperor had political reasons to destroy religions (most likely they would've disapproved of the Emperor's brutal dictatorship/had more influence over people than he liked; making the Emperor part-Hitler in addition to part-Stalin), but they are touched very little in this story, so its not important.
*The church in question appears to be [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lindisfarne Lindisfarne]: perched on "a rocky promontory jutting from [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Britain an island] that was said to have [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_empire once ruled the world]". Uriah even references it being raided by [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lindisfarne#Vikings Scandi].
*Many of our currently existing countries and continents are mentioned in the story, however they are spelled and pronounced differently.
*The Mariana Canyon where the giant stone figures are carved in is most likely the remnants of the Mariana Trench, the deepest point of the Earth's present-day oceans -- given that this place is now exposed, you can grasp just how much the Earth has changed... For example, the oceans boiled away due to various factors. Some of the new land that became exposed became known as the "Panpacific".
*Given Uriah's knowledge of (and ability to travel to) other countries, and his reaction to the Emperor's plans to conquer the galaxy, it seems likely that the Age of Strife on Terra was less of a complete societal breakdown and more of a regression to the dark ages in which knowledge of the past remained largely intact but functionally useless. Ironic, considering the state of the Imperium ushered in to save humanity from that.
* The Emperor's theological quibbles with religion in the story are very sophomoric. Most of them are refuted in the writings of St. Augustine and Thomas Aquinas, two writers any Catholic priest is overwhelmingly familiar with, but Uriah's refutations of the Emperor are quite amateur as well. The reason for it is that Graham McNeill is likely not a philosopher or theologian and maybe not even religious, and so is probably unaware of the counter arguments a real priest would realistically have used.
** That can be handwaved as "knowledge was lost", though it does still beg the question as to why The Emperor didn't use different arguments to refute religion. Though again, it could be handwaved away as Him believing wholeheartedly in his opinion as irrefutable fact (living for thousands of years probably turns anyone into a fanatically certain jackass) or knowing the priest would have no access to these texts (remember Hans Christian Andersen? Yeah, one person in the 40k universe does (barring Big E), and she's a perpetual who stole the book), turning the Emperor into a bigger douche than we thought at first by virtue of taking advantage of lost knowledge.
** Of course the other possibility is that he is unaware of these texts himself. All-knowing God-Emperor my ass.
** Or it could also mean that he was the People who wrote those sayings.
** This is directly addressed in the "author's opinion" section above. The author has no theological training, and neither does Uriah.
** [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device]] goes this route in the episode based on this story (which McNeil apparently contributed to). Against a version of Uriah who IS a theolgian (and a Chaos worshiper to boot, which removes any pesky "good works" issues) the Emperor uses the same arguments and gets his ass handed to him, along with a vicious lecture on his hypocrisy.
* The fact that attempts to abolish religion in real-life have proven harmful rather than good isn't addressed in the story either; as in Uriah doesn't mention any of those cases to refute the Emperor (look at Soviet Russia, North Korea and Cambodia under Pol Pot for three examples - it's even possible the Emperor was Stalin in this universe). Again, Uriah is most probably simply ignorant of those things happening in the past.
** Uriah did have, however, ample opportunity to use the Battle of Gaduare (a short-lived war that started over a raving lunatic murdering a woman for challenging his supreme authority that ended with him leading an army of 50,000 untrained nobodies wielding rocks and sticks he rallied with his 5+ charisma into wholesale slaughter (a wholesale slaughter that Uriah was himself the sole survivor of)) as the perfect example of a certain someone committing atrocities in the name of their atheistic ego when faced with a bunch of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_people pants shittingly terrified villagers throwing down their farming tools in sobbing surrender].
*Lastly, The Emperor's claim that "humanity will not be free until the last stone of the last church falls on the head of the last priest" is a (mis)quote of [http://www.qotd.org/quotes/Denis.Diderot Denis Diderot]. He could have at least tried to be original.
** Or the Emperor was Denis Diderot.

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

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