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Reasonable Marines

2018-05-25T22:58:55Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:C4B5:9D8B:7448:168F:

A /tg/ chapter, the '''Reasonable Marines''' are what Space Marines would be if 40K was less grimdark, the Imperium was a benevolent governmental body, Tau were happy Koreans and Abaddon was competent. They wear camouflaged power armor, fight using careful tactics that make heavy use of cover, and are the epitome of practicality. They also seek to avoid combat whenever possible and are adept diplomats. However, in its own way, being clever badass can be ''even cooler'' than [[Rip and tear| balls out]] badass.

They're one of the legions with the lost Primarchs, their primarch currently wandering around dazed and confused in an alternate reality where he is known as [[Star Trek|Jean Luc Picard]].

There is an awesome video of one of the Reasonable Marines painted on the internet now! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdpFgmLEfRk

And tutorial! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9ytuH_ZO7Y

[https://www.forgeworld.co.uk/en-US/Legion-MKIV-Recon-Squad Forge World have made a "Recon Squad"] which are Marines in cloaks and with sniper rifles. These could easily represent a squad or two, if you've got the money to spare.

==Synopsis==
<div style="font-family:monospace; font-style:italic">++Reason begets doubt, doubt begets heresy. Heresy begets retribution. Imperial Thought for the Day.++</div>

[[Image:Reasonable_marine.JPG‎‎|thumb|300px|Stealth Tactics]]
[http://fc06.deviantart.com/fs35/f/2008/299/b/6/Rather_Content_Marine_by_Keluuu.jpg ‎A Rather Content Marine you might say]
Fuck this shit. Really. Codex Astartes tell us that marine may adapt their armor color to any situation they're in if needed. Well, with leaving 1 shoulder pad their original heraldic colours. For example, a smurfmarine will paint his armor green if it will be needed to fight in some well grown forest... But do they do it consistently?

Reasonable Marines operate with efficiency. They fulfill their orders and fight valorously and without hesitation, unless they see a more sensible solution that can fulfill the same goals. They always prefer to force a surrender rather than routing the enemy, and take prisoners to interrogate them humanely and use as bargaining chips. It's not so much that they don't like to fight as it is that they're not bloodthirsty - they understand that fighting puts their own in harm's way and is detrimental to their cause due to its great expense.

Seeking vision without prejudice, yet understanding that this ideal may be unattainable, the most important thing to them is to successfully serve the true interests of the Imperium. If this involves negotiating with or even protecting xenos, then that is what they will do. ''For this they have earned, among many nicknames, the'' [[Star Trek]]'' marines''.

Heroism and a thirst for glory are frowned upon in their ranks, as they are wasteful of personnel and other resources, and perpetuate the conflict. They wish to create a stable end to the war with mankind in a comfortable and free position. Victory is their goal only insofar as a civilization vanquished in this conflict is sure to be subjugated or annihilated.

In battle, they employ sophisticated and highly coordinated group tactics not commonly associated with normal space marines. Their armor is painted to blend into their environment in order to limit visibility (maybe camouflaged in multiple spectra so that, for example, their heat signature is harder to detect). No matter how cool it looks, a Reasonable Marine still needs to request permission from their commanding officer to carry nonstandard equipment into battle, and must justify this in a way that demonstrates its effectiveness in combat.

One of their mottoes is Sun-Tzu's saying, "For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill", which is actually pretty fucking long for a motto.

As such, they're super happy sunshine puppy best friends with the Tau since they are the only other faction who have the word "Reasonable" in their dictionaries. It doesn't mean they haven't come to blows, mind you, since there are a few occasions where there are things too vital to give to another. However it can be guaranteed that the Reasonable Marines would attempt to pacify them with as little killing as possible to minimize future aggressions.

[[File:FacebookGiotaTsirou.jpg|620px|thumb|left|Panagiota Tsirou, a 200 pound girl of short stature with unnatural agility that is incompatible with the physical boundaries that her obese biological structure should obviously follow, proving that a twisted disfigurement of reality is already existent, unleashing the incomprehensible influence of the warp in ways too unimaginable for anyone to acquaint with its reflections in our ludicrous lives, redefined by overwhelmingly shocking surprises.]]

[[File:WOW.jpg|1200px|thumb|right|In the 8th game of the World of Warcraft series, which was the first since the current 8th editions of Warhammer Fantasy and 40K, they also advanced the storyline following the same trend, as we have an official Alliance-Horde war for the first time since Warcraft 3, in total coordination with the real world when long unsettled conflicts, such as the Arab-Israeli war, Grexit, Kim Jong-un, US-China trade war, Fascism emerging in Europe starting from Italy, Neo-ottomanism, American civil war, Monroe dogma over Nicolas Maduro and Lula and even a volcano in Hawaii erupting, are simultaneously all emerging as if we are truly living in a novel.]]

==Tactics==

[[Image:Reasonablemarine.png ‎|thumb|Typical Reasonable Marine camouflage for desert and scrubland operations.]]

If Reasonable Marines were to be considered an actual Marine faction, they would quickly become one of the most infamous for rage inducing as their approach to war in the 41st millennium is radically different than the typical Wardian space marine chapter. Seeking to always operate at utmost efficiency, minimizing casualties and avoid pyrrhic victories, Reasonable Marines aren't likely to even pop their heads up until the odds are in their favor (ironically making them closer to the Dark Eldar in their approach, but far more benevolent and less sadistic). The [[Deathwatch]] comes close to being Reasonable Marines in terms of tactics, but they are only geared towards Xenos, are rarely diplomatic, and are under the direct command of the Inquisition, so no.

Also, the [[Alpha Legion]] back in the Great Crusade era might have been similar to them, but at the same time the Alpha legion has always been about mind-fuckery and deception and not as heavy as the Reasonable Marines in the use of cover and stealth. But again, as said before the loyal Alpha legion might have been the closest thing the Imperium ever got to the Reasonable Marines.

Favoring a ridiculously mechanized approach to protect their own, chances are somebody who proves stubborn enough to force Reasonable Marines into combat would find themselves being bombarded from orbit for days on end. In this example, consider a force more prone to reason like Imperial Guard, Tau or Eldar. The following siege strategies don't apply to more heavily armored foes like Chaos Marines, Necrons or even other Space Marine chapters. If the opponent in question persists, a merciless aerial campaign will be waged against them by Stormraven gunships and other such aircraft, aiming to force a surrender while simultaneously providing a distraction for initial drop pods to seed scouts and devastators in their territory. If ''that'' doesn't work, that's when things begin to get ugly.

Operating under the confusion of constant bombardments and propaganda drops, the Reasonable Scouts would act as pathfinders for the Devastators. Digging in to key positions, the sniper fire begins, killing commanders and high ranking officers to further increase the chaos and confusion amongst the ranks. Other scout units wage bitter guerilla campaigns, most often by slipping behind enemy lines before cutting supply routes and other means of disrupting enemy logistics. A final, orchestrated bombardment of dozens of krak and frag missiles courtesy of Devastator squads topples defenses and shatters morale, at least if things go according to plan. If the enemy's commanders have evaded assassination and continue to rally their troops to the cause, the Reasonable Marines engage in one final show of force.

Dozens of Land Raiders and Predators are deployed, now free to move ahead free of high-risk scenarios. Rolling up at the opponent's front door, heavy vox systems broadcast final warnings.

It is here they are given an ultimatum - surrender and resolve things diplomatically, or be pacified.

If this fails to work, the action begins. Infiltrated squads of Tactical Marines storm the enemy, subduing them under a hail of shock bolts, stun grenades, and taking officers prisoner. More prisoners are taken off to be brought up to the Reasonable Marine ships to serve as bargaining chips while tanks below deploy hydro-cannons with intensely freezing waters to pacify infantry and use traditional weaponry to pick apart enemy armor formations. Tech Marines scurry back and forth erecting defenses and surface-to-air missile silos in case of enemy reinforcements. What cannot be captured or fortified, is destroyed with maximum efficiency and a minimum of fuss. At this point, it is merely a question of wearing the opponent out.

Even in the heat of battle, Reasonable Marines cleave to their principles and creed. You will not see chainswords or power weapons being brandished within the ranks of these Astartes. Assault Marines are clad in riot gear and equipped solely with shock mauls and stun grenades to apply a reasonable degree of force necessary to force violent brawlers into submission. In times where the enemy knows no reason such as the Tyranids or more fanatical factions of Chaos Marines such as the Word Bearers, these troopers wield traditional weaponry with the full intention to kill off any threats. A few of the commanders considered extreme and naively optimistic even in the eyes of the other Reasonable Captains have been trying to find ways to reason with the Necrons after initial shocking - and absurd - reports were confirmed of Blood Angels actually managing to ally with them.

== Relations to Other Races==

Given the Reasonable Marine's radically different outlook on the galaxy they wage war in, it's not too surprising that the traditional dispositions the Space Marines possess are also radically different. This isn't necessarily a good thing for them, however, as the realm of 40k isn't one that is particularly enamored towards reason. Outside of their own systems, the Reasonable Marines are painted as a threat to the Imperium by the High Lords of Terra and Inquisition, who fear that such reason coupled with the iconic might and position of an astartes chapter could quickly bring about another mass heresy. Thus, in a twist of fate, the Reasonable Marines are treated as a traitorous extremis group and find themselves in conflict with the rest of the Imperium almost more often than the alien or heretic. Relations with the other Space Marine chapters are generally unstable, but still a step up from the Inquisition and Imperial Guard forces.

===Imperial Forces===

;The [[Inquisition]]: The two factions abhor one another, seeing the other as a taint to what the Imperium should rightfully be. The Reasonable Marines find clashes with the Inquisition particularly unpleasant and generally stay out of their way, though they share a common hatred of demons and the pervasive warp, and in turn the Inquisition is happy to make sure the rest of the Imperium is largely ignorant of the chapter's existence. The Grey Knights, however, have shown remarkable reasonableness for operating alien devices in their all-out fight against daemonkind, thus both the reasonable marines and the knights have each earned each others' grudging respect and tolerance.

:Clashes with the Inquisition mostly occur in the form of the Sisters of Battle whenever one steps on the others toes. With a particular disgust towards the Sisters overzealous and often vicious approach to dealing with conceived 'problems', it is not uncommon for Reasonable Marine raiding forces to crash an Adepta Sororitas purge they deem "overkill". In these scenarios, the Marines act more as a rescue party, rounding up as many of the purge's targets as possible and retreating to judge them in a more civilized manner or even occasionally rehabilitate the intended targets. Aside from the Traitor Marine Legions, Imperial forces attacking civilians are the only human force the Marines will bring all traditional lethal weaponry to bear against, albeit reluctantly.

;[[Imperial Guard]]: The Reasonable Marine's relations to the Imperial Guard are colorful, to say the very least. While relatively quick to ally with one another, it is never too long before the two factions command structures begin to butt heads with one another over some breach in rank or protocol. The Imperial Guard is generally the more reluctant of the two when it comes to buddying up, mainly because contact with the Reasonable Marines always end with swathes of men attempting to defect to the Marines. Commissars have an unusual tendency to flare up the normally calm and reserved Reasonable Marines with their approach to treating guardsmen. This results in headaches for everyone as clashes between Marines and Commissars are inevitable and generates a plethora of paperwork.

:When the Guard and Reasonable Marines go to war against one another, the result is a war of attrition that rages on until one of the sides goes "Fuck it", takes his ball and goes home. It is also an example of how the Reasonable Marine's reason can sometimes do more harm than good as on their side they put great effort into minimizing casualties among the Guard. When coupled with propaganda, this causes a fair portion of the Guard to hesitate in fighting their fellow loyalists (and as mentioned earlier causes plenty of defects and treason in the process). However, it also causes another large portion of the Guard to attack with greater ferocity, knowing their foe is reluctant to engage with full force. Both forces boast massive manpower, but the difference in tactics means either side can often come out triumphant. The biggest danger to any Guard force going up against the Reasonable Marines is their tendency to mix mind games and diplomacy, as the Marines opt to try and turn the whole IG Force against its leaders or sometimes even talk the whole entire division into switching allegiances. Utilizing Commissars to reinforce the chain of command often ends up doing more harm than good as the Marines are quick to play up the average Guardsman's resentment of such authority figures.

Another bone of contention with Guard forces was their recent salvage and subsequent claiming of a disabled Baneblade Superheavy Tank, which now serves the chapter as the Fortress of Eloquence.

===[[Space Marines]]===

Like the Imperial Guard, the Reasonable Marines relations with the other chapters vary widely. However, recorded incidents of Reasonable Marines engaging other Loyalist Marines are unpleasantly common. Indeed, the Reasonable Marines have not forgotten the kinship they ought to still share with the other Chapters, and harbor a particular bitterness towards fighting them. In these cases, the adversity arise not so much out of pure hate as many of the Chapters are aware of them and skeptical of the Inquisition's propaganda. It arises in conflicting goals. While some Chapters team up with the Reasonable Marines just as often as they fight them, others are wholly incompatible with them.

;[[Black Templars]]: Like the Sisters of Battle, the Black Templar's zealotry and lust for violence is too much for the Reasonable Marines. Coupled with their massive legions of soldiers, the Reasonable Marines outright avoid contact with the group unless forced to due to matters of importance or during extraordinary circumstances.

;[[Blood Angels]]: The Reasonable Marines frown upon the Blood Angels, considering them more like beasts than Space Marines. Given the unstable nature of their geneseed defects, and their borderline psychopathic affinity for close combat, Reasonable Marines seldom deal with the Angels. However, this opinion is conflicting as some captains have become fascinated by stories of the Chapter somehow managing to ally and part peacefully with the Necrons: a foe the Reasonable Marines long believed to be wholly unreasonable. However, such interest is discouraged by more senior battle-brothers in the Chapter.

;[[Dark Angels]]: The Reasonable Marines are distrustful of the Dark Angels. Certainly not beyond working with them, but far from accepting. While the Reasonable Marines are no stranger to being scrutinized as treasonous, the Dark Angels show a sort of morbid love in persecuting threats to their credibility. Such behavior means they have something to hide, and the Reasonable Marines keep their distance, especially out of caution that the Dark Angels might lash out under the belief that they could by some chance be similar to the Fallen or worse; harbor some of them- which, given the way the Reasonable Marines recruit, does not help dispel these suspicions.

;[[Imperial Fists]]: The Reasonable Marines have no problems with the Imperial Fists and find great value in their defensive capabilities. In times where relations are smooth, it isn't uncommon for the two to collaborate in exchanging knowledge about the others' combat specialization. They still have their occasional disagreements, but they are often brief and usually resolved peacefully.

;[[Iron Hands]]: The who? See Adeptus Mechanicus. While the Reasonable Marines admire the Iron Hands unflinching tenacity and resolve, they despise how rigid and uncompromising they are. The chapter refuses to yield ground in battle even when it would be beneficial, and in victory completely eradicate their enemies, even if they have surrendered and are begging for mercy. They also see the Iron Hand's obsession with modifying their bodies with bionics as unhealthy and irrational. When the two come to blows a battle is always immediate as the Hands refuse any and all attempts at negotiation. In these instances the Reasonable Marines must regrettably resort to their more deadly armaments, the Iron Hand's enhanced physiology coupled with their many bionics rendering most non-lethal weapons useless.

;[[Raven Guard]]: While the Reasonable Marines consider the Raven Guard fierce rivals in the aspect of covert ops and tactics, this is also the same reason the Reasonable Marines respect the Raven Guard, and they often go to great lengths to stay up to speed with their tacticians. The Reasonable Marines still get in scrapes with the Raven Guard, but more often than not, in a more competitive manner than truly aggressive. However, on the rare occasion that the two chapters do get locked in conflict, it results in painstakingly long, lethal guerrilla campaigns fought almost entirely beyond the naked eye. It's not uncommon for bystanders to think: "WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED" after several city blocks vaporize and life is somehow still going on business as usual. Still, the times where the two share a cause are often enough that the they are more likely to come to the others' aid, than to oppose them, becoming in those times a truly terrifying and utterly lethal alliance to be reckoned with. In this they are a rare example of a friendly rivalry between chapters.

;[[Salamanders]]: The two could not be of greater opposites in terms of approaches to combat specialty and tactics, but the two chapters share a high regard for prioritizing human lives over destruction of the enemy. This is why they get along very well and will work together easily enough. Conflict does occasionally rise, but they are easily diffused between the like-minded groups.

;[[Space Wolves]]: Relations with the Space Wolves have not been particularly for the better. Like, at all. Not along the same vein of disaster as Black Templars or Blood Angels, the Reasonable Marines still have never worked well with the Wolves. The two share a common hatred of the Inquisition, so they see eye to eye on at least one topic, and might be all that keeps them from being wholly incompatible. But the Wolves obsession with melee, drunkenness and, well, wolves, doesn't go well with the Reasonable Marine's doctrine. They could ally, but probably under circumstances where they both share a common enemy. While they would make great a buddy-cop action-comedy team, the Reasonable Marines have never forgiven the large role the Space Wolves played in the downfall of the Thousands Sons, so long-term team-ups are unlikely.

;[[Ultramarines]]: While the Reasonable Marines are ones who admire enforced tactics and strategies, the Ultramarines and their codex are just another chapter to them, one they are particularly indifferent towards. They are easy enough to get along with and in comparison to some of the other chapters are preferred chapter. But in terms of overall ability, they find the Ultramarines lacking, except in arrogance. The distaste has arisen from several occasions where the two did work together, only for the Ultramarines to take all the credit. Since then, even the Reasonable Scouts view them with a sense of ire. The Reasonable Marines, do however, have a burning hatred for their [[spiritual liege]]. As any reasonable person would.

;[[White Scars]]: Another chapter the Reasonable Marines are fairly indifferent on, having nowhere near as much contact with them. They find the chapter's hit and run tactics highly effective and do occasionally emulate these tactics with fleets of landspeeders, but ultimately the White Scars have had little history with the Reasonable Marines and there isn't much that can be said of the relationship between the two.

;[[Angry Marines]]: Do you even need to ask?... Yes The Angry Marines are the only Loyalist Chapter that the Reasonable Marines wholly refuse to ally with, or even acknowledge. Their favored tactic of [[ork|charging the enemy head on, screaming curses and causing mass casualty]] is too much for even the Reasonable Marines to bear, and the two Chapters come into conflict more often then nearly any loyalist chapters. In the extremely likely event that the two come to blows, the conflict resembles a prolonged chase rather then a battle. The Reasonable Marines constantly moving as the Angry Marines give chase, [[troll|leaving traps and minefields in an attempt to slow them down]]. The Angry Marines keeping up by [[rage|completely obliterating whatever gets in their way]], be it a mountain, [[what|river, or a ravine]]. While the Reasonable Marines, inevitably manage to get away, the conflict is always painful for them. Continued surveillance revealing that the overwhelming rage the Angry Marines feel causes them to [[rage|launch a long and bloody campaign against the nearest potential enemy for the smallest transgression]], [[grimdark|resulting in months if not years of bloodshed that could have been avoided]]. For this reason contact and thus conflict with the Angry Marines is strictly prohibited.

;[[Blood Ravens]]:For the most part, the Blood Ravens and the Reasonable Marines find themselves as simple allies, fellow Astartes in service. However, any further bonding is hampered by one simple problem: the Blood Raven's fetishistic approach to battlefield scavenging. While the desperation of an unofficial, understrength chapter -- especially one lacking in ties to forges of their own -- to use whatever it can find is understandable (and, in fact, quite familiar) that does not change the fact that the Ravens have a history of looting Reasonable Marine casualties for equipment and prized relics. While outright hostilities are rare, Reasonable Marines must keep a close eye on the Ravens when one of them gets to close to their armory. Though some reasonable commanders trust them to an extent all Blood Ravens must stay outside of a 10 mile radius around all reasonable armories or relics, or anywhere else they keep store wargear or supplies. So they tend to stay closer to the enemy to TRY and make it harder for them to pillage their bits. <s>Though [[Cyrus]] somehow stole a entire armory full of Reasonable relics once. How is [[Creed|unknown]]</s>

=== Aliens ===

;[[Eldar]]: As with all other forces of the Imperium, the Reasonable Marines are naturally distrustful of the Eldar. However, the Chapter has come to accept that it is very possible the Eldar possess knowledge and foresight of events that they do not, and as such give them a bit more leeway and take heed of their warnings. However, the Reasonable Marines refuse to be used as unwitting pawns and do not hesitate to bring force into the equation if there is evidence that they are being treated as an expendable asset (as the Eldar often do when they deal with 'lesser' races). While they generally apply the same ethics they treat all other races with, the Reasonable Marines have often resorted to abducting and taking Farseers, Warlocks, or Autarchs hostage to make it clear that they will not be used.

;[[Orks]]: The Orks are beyond reason and beyond even the most basic forms of negotiation. As such, the Reasonable Marines have excluded them from the ethical approach to warfare they exhibit with other races. However, the more 'kunnin' Orks often give the Marines a challenge in guerrilla warfare and as such dealing with high priority targets like Kommandos are treated with the same sporty enthusiasm they would show when competing with the Raven Guard.

;[[Tyranids]]: Unlike the Orks, who the Reasonable Marines take a more laid back approach to dealing with, Tyranids are a considered a top-tier threat. No holds barred- shoot to kill. The sole race that the Reasonable Marines will bring out the flamers to use on, the Chapter will pursue the routing of the Tyranids with such dedication that they are willing to side with almost any other foe long enough to flush them out and destroy them. As creatures with heavily advanced senses and innate psyker abilities that defeat much of their stealth, the Tyranids are the only race that the Marines will abandon their traditional doctrine in favor of a separate codex's worth of tactics; designed specifically to eliminate them.

;[[Tau Empire]]: While the Reasonable Marines refuse to abandon the Imperium and as such have no intention of joining their Empire, the Tau are often a welcome change of pace for the chapter. The Reasonable Marines are quick to aid the Tau in situations that do not concern the Imperium, and in return the Tau Septs generally co-exist peacefully with the chapter. Trade is common between the worlds of the Chapter, and the Tau, and the Marines are willing to humor the Tau diplomats attempts at swaying them towards the Empire, if halfway to keep them from stepping up their attempts and the other half to keep their own diplomacy skills at their peak. This isn't to say the two haven't had their battles, but compared to any other faction these conflicts are often brief shows of force rather than full fledged warfare. The Reasonable Marine's dealings with the Tau do come at a price, often earning them a black mark against them in Imperial Chapters or Regiments in neighboring systems.

;[[Dark Eldar]]: It would seem surprising that the Reasonable Marines would employ non-lethal weaponry against many of Commoragh's kabals, but the usage here is for a different reason. The Dark Eldar are perhaps one of the only races the Chapter holds and embraces a hatred towards that would be recognizable amongst the other loyalist chapters. Here, the Reasonable Marines use their non-lethal weaponry, stealth and diplomatic skills to deprive the pirates of the thrills they seek in their realspace raids. It is not uncommon for the Reasonable Marines to swap over to lethal weaponry should the raiders prove particularly aggressive or sport a clear agenda they intend to fulfill, something even the Reasonable Marines don't mind admitting they look forward to on such occasions.

;[[Necrons]]: For the longest time the marching hordes of Necrons have been another example of shooting first and not even bothering to ask questions later in the Chapter history. However, this changed once news began cropping up that the Blood Angels (a chapter they long since held with some contempt) actually managed to ally with them to fight off Tyranids and then peacefully part afterward. Upon closer examination, it became apparent with time that many Necron forces seemed to be displaying an emergent organization- a civilization, no less. In fact, the disposition and behavior of Necron forces began to vary so wildly the chapter was forced to reevaluate the race as a whole. In fact, the chapter has found occasional allies in the Necrons. Though the Reasonable Marines are grateful for the powerful support, they also study those Necrons whom they do approach, in an effort to discern their motives (no small challenge in its own right) . They are not eager to turn on a valuable ally, but neither will they allow the Imperium to fall to Necron rule, be it through force or politics. Despite this newfound position as a sentient race with rights, in combat the Marines apply full lethal force against them. This is largely due to the Necrons unique physiology, whom seem fully incapable of registering pain, let alone truly die.

Currently the chapter has found an oddly steady relationship with several of the larger dynasties, where their techmarines (whose science is unhindered by the dogma of the Imperial cult) have collaborated with the Necrons to study potential cures for the flayer virus and the symptoms of dementia overtaking the eldest members. Already under heavy scrutiny by the Inquisition, this partnership is kept top secret even amongst the initiates of the Reasonable Marines, and even the senior officers are aware of the thin ice such an alliance skates.

=== [[Chaos]] ===

Naturally, it doesn't take much of a genius to realize by now that the Reasonable Marines would never allow Chaos to run rampant. Chaos daemons and the Traitor Legions are treated with the same aggressive and unrelenting effort that any other true loyalist chapter would display. On rare occasions the Traitor Legions have looked the other way in the presence of the Reasonable Marines, perhaps because word spread that they know the Emperor not to be a god or figure of total adoration. Regardless, the Legions pose a grave threat and as such the Reasonable Marines will defend the Imperium accordingly.

The difference however is how the Reasonable Marines handle [[heresy]] amongst the people. Cults and rebellions are still persecuted, but with the Chapter's usual use of non-lethal force. With such members rounded up, they are put through therapy and rehabilitation in order to try and restore them to being clean citizens. Freedom of religion is something that they repeatedly bump into in terms of difficulty, however. The subject will continue to be a controversial one, but for the time being, citizens amongst Reasonable Marine Chapter worlds do not have to fear the same retribution for 'thought crimes' delivered in the rest of the Imperium.

==Writefaggotry!==

Captain Darren of the 3rd Company was one of the most decorated members of the Reasonable Marines for three reasons: He was a supreme executor of reason and logic, he was a formidable warrior, and he had a certain manner about him that put many non-Astartes at ease. He was massive, well over eight feet, but he perpetually wore a rather mild facial expression improved with a slight smile. His eyes invited conversation from those around him, and unlike many Astartes from their brother legions, he did not attempt to tower over those Xeno/Heretics/Imperials that they bothered to talk to. He stood well outside of their personal space, and nodded politely as they talked, only offering his own input when it was necessary.

As such, Captain Darren possessed the honorific "Master of the Deal", essentially meaning that diplomacy was his forte. He excelled at it, and was greatly respected for his record of avoiding bloodshed when other Astartes would have simply engaged in a ferocious battle.

As such, when the Tau attacked the Imperial colony on the planet Teron I, Darren was chosen as the ideal candidate to reason with them. The Imperial forces in the sector were baying for blood, but the Reasonable Marines were in the lead: the Imperial Guard forces of the XIV "Rip and Tear" Doom II (a large planet in the Quake system) regiment had no choice but to defer to the command of the Space Marines.

Arriving on the planet, the Reasonable Marines ordered the XIV Regiment to garrison the drop zone and absolutely refrain from hostilities unless fired upon. Darren himself took a squad of Marines and requested negotiations from the Tau commander, which was accepted. A half-company of Guardsmen led by the Regimental Colonel Voss accompanied him.

Arriving at the designated meeting zone, the Tau Commander was wearing his Crisis Suit and was accompanied by a squad of similarly suited warriors. Darren inclined his head, and extended his hand to the larger figure:

"I am Captain Darren of the Reasonable Marines, and I come in peace." The Guardsmen murmured and grumbled seditiously, and some of the Astartes politely requested they keep quiet.

The Tau Commander was taken aback by Darren’s manner, and looked to his personal bodyguard, who raised an arm in a gesture equivalent to a shrug. “I am Shas’O B’aw, and I welcome you here to Bah’ntowhn, outpost of the Tau Empire.”

Darren smiled graciously, though Colonel Voss’ back stiffened at the presumptuousness of this Xeno. “I respect your claim to this area Shas’O, but I’m afraid this is an Imperial planet. You have to buy term papers for your claims. Have you filed the necessary forms to annex an established area of Imperial space?”

The Tau seemed confused. “No…”

“Well I am here to help you in this regard. While I have the greatest respect for your race’s right to expand space, surely there is no need for aggression in doing so? There are unclaimed planets in the area, it isn’t necessary for you to attack an Imperial planet.”

“Well…”

“I am willing to overlook your intrusion into this area and supply you with anything you need as recompense for the effort it must have taken to control this outpost. I however must request that you leave for now.: if you still desire to take control of this planet I will forward the necessary papers to the local Departmento, which will be forwarded to the system Administratum, which will be forwarded to the Imperial Administratum, and I will have the necessary forms you must sign to request the forms for annexation of an Imperial planet within the decade. Is this acceptable?”

“Gu’ela…you do realize we Tau are not as long-lived as your race, right?”

“I do, and you have my sincere condolences.”

Only a few days later, completely baffled by the willingness of Darren and his Astartes to help at every opportunity, the Tau vacated Teron I and the Reasonable Marines helped rebuild the damage done. The locals were simply thankful further destruction was avoided.

Colonel Voss filed a formal complaint to the local Departmento in regards to what he saw as treason by Darren in bargaining with a Xeno, but was not willing to wait for a response. Accompanied by a company of his men, he challenged Darren to a duel. Darren politely accepted, and offered to make things fair by allowing Voss to choose nine men to assist him during the duel.

There were no survivors. The Reasonable Marines are suckers for such gentlemanly acts of violence.

==Campaign Data==

<div style="font-family:monospace; font-style:italic">+++++
Accessing Reasonable Marine Date Ref. No. 435-CD... 
Permission granted. Loading excerpt from "Tales of Imperial Liberation" by Scribe Tedecis.
+++++</div>

When the Warp Storms abated about the Derelis System after three hundred years of isolation, the Imperium's first contact with the primary production world of Derelis II was disheartening. With the taste of freedom on their lips, the ruling Government split away from the Imperium, and demanded the explorator vessels leave immediately under pain of death.

Nearest of Imperial Forces able to mobilize swiftly, the 3rd Company of the Reasonable Marines led by Captain Sensibus (Ref. ''The Comforting of Colot'') dropped out of the warp a scant week later, striking swiftly at the seat of power of Derelis II's primary hive. Before any of the citizenry knew what was occurring, the Astartes had set up an intense negotiation with the rulers, and convinced them through an old planetary law that their secession was invalid.

Parting amiably from the system, the Reasonable Marines stopped to improve orbital defense systems, and promised to return with a nice gift they would pick up from their next campaign.

Upon news of the system's swift re-absorption into the Imperium of Man, Inquisitor Explodor (Ref. ''The Big Book of 101 Exterminatus Methods'') kicked a nearby wall, and was heard to utter "Dangit". 

<div style="font-family:monospace; font-style:italic">+++++
Thought for the day: I quite like butterflies.
+++++</div>

[[Image:ReasonMarine.png]]

==Moar Writefaggotry!==

"Incoming signal."

"Hail, Eldar. I am Force Commander Spock of the Reasonable Marine Chapter of the Imperial Adeptus Astartes."

"What is your business here, Mon'Keigh?"

"We have become aware that this system harbors a Necron Tomb World, a Chaos incursion, an Orkish WAAAGH! and a Dark Eldar army. We are here to cleanse it."

"Your hostility will not be tolerated!"

"We hold no quarrel with you, Farseer. If we keep out of each other's way there's no reason we can't both fight the true threats here. In fact, if we coordinated against the Necrons..."

"I will not be deceived by your clumsy trickery! This system was once ours and it shall be ours again! I HAVE FORESEEN IT!" <end signal>

"Your orders, Commander?"

"Prepare to land on the Necron Tomb world, and inform the Battle Brothers that the Eldar are now targets as well. If we can kill their high-and-mighty Farseer, we might be able to route them back into the Webway without much fighting."

"Yes, my Lord."

"Sir, Tau signals inbound."

"This is wonderful, the Tau are famous for listening to reason, hail them!"

"Greetings Gue'la, this is Shas'Or'es'ka, this system will be made into a sept of the Tau Empire to defend its borders against Gue'la madness. Have you come to join us?"

"If by join us you mean fight side by side against a common enemy then yes. If you would be so kind we could fight the Orkish tide on Kaurava II as one."

"Erm...no I mean become part of the Tau Empire."

"Oh...well then...I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Then I must regretfully inform you that we must do battle Gue'la. Prepare the Ar'ka cannon for firing!"<end signal>

"Oh dear...Change of plans, land on Kaurava II and make plans to invade the Nan Yaonoi moonbase and deal with the Orks."

"Commander! Incoming signal from an Imperial Guard regiment!"

"What? Excellent! Now we can..."

"So, you Space Marines think you can just tromp in on your battle-barge and steal the glory of the Imperial Guard, do you?"

"...I..."

"Well we'll show you! I, Vance MOTHERFUCKING Stubbs, declare myself Governor-Militant of this system, and will claim it in the name of the Imperial Guard!" <end signal>

"What just..."

"Brother-Captain, Heretical signals inbound, identified as Fieravious Carron."

"I see your Mehtal Bawkses in orbit! YOU COWARDS! YOU FEWLES! We....we shall take away your mehtal bawkses."<end signal>

"But..."

"Sir incoming Dark Eldar signals."

"Don't Hail the-"

"-Your screams shall satiate our thirsts for pain and pleasure Mon'keigh!"<end signal>

"Ugh...."

"Necron signals inbound."

"Oh come o-"

"You...shall die here....Space Marines....The Deceiver....Grants us strength..."<end signal>

"..."

"My Lord! The Inquisition has arrived in the system!"

"Oh what now..."

"Commander Spock! Don't think we didn't detect you sending a signal to those filthy xenos! ALL IS TAINTED! ALL WILL BE PURGED BY THE RIGHTOUS ANGER OF THE GREY KNIGHTS IN THE NAME OF THE HOLY EMPEROR! <DEAN SCREAM>!" <end signal>

"Sir..."

"WHAT!?!?"

"Ork signals, identifying self as Warboss Gorgutz 'Ead 'unta."

"WAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! MY BOYZ IZ GONNA KRUMP YA 'UMIE GITZ!!! Ya 'eadz gonna look nice on me pointy stick."<end signal>

"Sir, fellow Astartes signals coming from the Blood Ravens chapter, it's from Brother-Captain Indrick Boreale."

"Yes! Finally someone who will work with us!"

"Heretic! You parlay with xenos! But we are blod rehvens, we are SPEHSS MEHREENS!! Face the rath of multiple, simuhltaneouhs, devahstating, defensive, deep strikes in what the Codex Astartees calls Steehl Rain! We are teh Emprah's Fureh!"<end signal>

"Oh for the love of..."

"Sir?"

By this time, Brother-Captain Spock was massaging his temples, trying to avoid screaming in frustration.

"What. Is. It?"

"Mi'lord, it's...it's the Squats."

"Oh, no-"

"ARRR! YOU LADS THOUGHT YOU COULD KEEP US DOWN, DID YE!? I, THE SQUAT KING NAMDAR, SHALL COME OVER THERE AND MAKE BOOTS OUT OF ALL YOUR ARSES, YOU GW SCRUBS!" <end signal>

"Emperor damn it all..."

"A Sister of Battle Canoness is attempting to hail us!"

"NO, EMPEROR FORBID, DO NOT LET THEM-"

"We, the Order of the Verdant Spire, will cleanse all with HOLY FIRE!!!" <end signal>

"Tyranid transmission inbound!"

"HOW THE HELL IS THAT EVEN-"

"KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE-" <end signal>

...

"My Lord?"

"Fuck this shit we are out of here."

= Incoming transmission =

"Captain Spock, this Captain Steinner of the 1st company. Is your company having trouble with cleaning out this system?"

"Yes brother-captain, It would seem that every gun is pointed at us and no negotiation is acceptable."

"Then I have good news, I have destroyed all the webway gates in the sector and I have redirected our spare forces... a good 10,000 strong battle brothers, on board the 7 Battle Barges, and a whole legion of Imperator War titans."

"You mean the 1st company is coming here? Titan Legion? 7 Battle Barges? Where did you get all of those?"

"A peaceful agreement with the Cult Mechanicus goes a long way captain, particularly when inserting a good deal of fine print. As for the 10,000 Astartes, apparently our influx of recruiting went well last year that our own chapter is swelling with raw brothers itching to test their skills at what our chapter does best..."

"You mean you brought twice the armour for them..."

"Exactly Captain Spock, now, shall we commence another reasoning with them once more? And this time, tell them we have Exterminatus-capable ships."

"Thank you Brother and the Emperor."

==See Also==
*[[Knights_Inductor|Knights Inductor]] - Reasonable Marines with 75% less meme content.
*[[Codex - Knights Inductor|Codex - Knights Inductor]] - Play said Reasonable Marines!
*[[Marines Immaculate]] - An offshoot of the Reasonable Marines, turned to Chaos.
*[[Raptors (Chapter)]] - a chapter of marines who fit reasonable marines description nicely or are tactically incompetent depending on the source.

== External links ==
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20100106102259/http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1009422/] The origin of the Reasonable Marines. Notice that they were conceptualized as [[Chaos Space Marines]], excommunicated from the [[Imperium]] for insufficient zeal.
*[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1470967/] Discussion on a 40K army that would make players rage turns to Reasonable Marines, with a POW camp for "captured" enemy figures.

[[Category:Imperial]][[Category:Space Marines]]

Alpha Legion

2018-05-25T15:20:36Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:C4B5:9D8B:7448:168F:

{{Heresy}}
{{Infobox Traitor Legion
|Name = Alpha Legion... we think.
|Heraldry = [[File:Alphalegionlogo.gif|200px]]
|Battle Cry = "Hydra Dominatus", "I am Alpharius!.", or "For the Emperor!"... probably.
|Number = XX, as far as we know...
|Primarch = [[Alpharius]]. Or [[Omegon]]. Or both, maybe neither.
|Original Homeworld = Ah...
|Current Homeworld = Well...
|Champion = You see....
|Specialty = Covert espionage and infiltration, information warfare, mass use of cultists...probably
|Strength = Hmm...
|Allegiance = [[The Cabal|.]]...[[Imperium|.]][[Chaos|.]][[A Game of Pretend|Yes.]]
|Colours = Dark blue, sometimes, often with green ornamentation. Possibly both, unless neither.}}
{{topquote|Such are we that in this art of war are like unto serpents, to lie out of sight, to strike swift, to carry such poison in our mouths that men fear to tread where we may lie.|Anonymous, quoted by the Emperor}}
{{topquote|I'm confused. Really, really confused.|Adam Gilchrist, possibly}}
{{topquote|What is important is to spread confusion, not eliminate it.|Salvador Dalí, or so they say}}
{{topquote|If you want to keep a [[Dark Angels|secret]], you must also hide it from yourself.|George Orwell, maybe}}
{{topquote|Hail Hydra! Immortal Hydra! We shall never be destroyed! Cut off a limb and two more shall take its place! We serve the Master, as the world shall soon serve us! Hail Hydra!|Alpha Legi-wait a minute!}}

{{BLAM|The term is used by the heretical to refer to a mythical 20th Legion. It is nonsensical name, which proves it is a false story, since true priests of the Adeptus Ministorum would know 'alpha' is an ancient term meaning "first". But any such 20th Legion would have been the last to be discovered before the [[Horus|Horus Heresy]]. 'Alpha' is an old word meaning 'A' so the name Alpha Legion translates into 'A Legion' (heretic falsehoods are rarely original).}}

No such legion exists, nor has it ever existed. The remainder of this page is intentionally [[Malal|left blank]]. There is no need for you to read further, and if you feel any urges to read beyond this paragraph or if you have any suspicion that there is any text following, please consult your local [[Commissar]] for re-education. If you ARE said Commissar, please consult your bolt pistol [[Blam|instead]].
-----
Now that we've got that out of the way...

The [[Alpha Legion]] (allegedly known as the '''Chaos [[Reasonable Marines]]''') are basically what would happen if you gave the CIA from the 1950s onwards a Space Marine legion and told them to go nuts. They are the 20th and last Legion of the Adeptus Astartes from the Great Crusade, and were the last to find their Primarch, [[Alpharius]]. In part, this is because [[Horus]] was the first to find him, and [[What|kept him hidden from the Emperor and everyone else for some time.]] In retrospect, it probably should have been obvious that he was going to go full Chaos.

The Alpha Legion's BIG SECRET is, as you probably know, the fact that their "one" Primarch is actually two guys, the twins Alpharius and Omegon. Since the Emperor made all of the Primarchs, it's unclear how this would be a secret; surely he'd know that he made twenty-one Primarchs, not twenty. Right?

... Right?

As you are about to realize, we know absolutely ''nothing'' about the Alpha Legion or their members. Sure, there are a lot of sources with information about them around, but none of this is solid and, as we know that the Alpha Legion are sneaky as ''fuck'', and are properly getting their shit done without anyone noticing it.

==Origins==
As with most lore, the Alpha Legion's name comes from religion (and not from the ancient Greek alphabet?). The two Primarchs, Alpharius and Omegon, represent the line Jesus said in Revelation 22:13: ''"I am the Alpha and Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End."'' But as Omegon is meant to be a secret, the legion is named after Alpharius. If Omegon was to be the face rather than the secret, the Legion could possibly have been called the Omega Legion. Or in other words the "last" legion which conforms to your "needing sense in a name" thing.

Adherents to the stories of this Legion make addle-minded claims that prove their insincerity, such as: all marines in this legion were surgically altered to look identical to [[Alpharius|their Primarch]]; that the Emperor himself gave this Primarch command over campaign forces above that of the Lord Commander of the Imperial Army; even power fantasies such as the existence of more than one Primarch in this Legion; and other tall tales that defy belief. Most heretical of all is the claims that these Primarchs betrayed his holiness the Emperor of Mankind willingly without being corrupted by [[Chaos]], which conveniently excuses their absence from the Eye of Terror and thus any observable evidence of their betrayal with the other traitor Legions.

It has also been suggested that the Legion, their Primarch, and their symbol may be based on the star [[wikipedia:Alphard|Alphard]], in the constellation of Hydra. What's more, [[What|Alphard means "the solitary one", but it has a much less bright star "hidden" behind it]]. If this was intended, considering that "Alpha Legion", "Alpharius" and the hydra motif have been around for a lot longer than Omegon has, it means that Games Workshop has been playing a very, very long game. Meta.

===The Documented "Truth"===
Apparently, the naming of the Alpha Legion refers to the fact that it actually has no name. In Horus Heresy III: Extermination it goes to great lengths to explain the early history of the Alpha Legion and how it contrasts to other more well-known Legions. It seems that the Primarch either kept the name to be deliberately ironic, deeply meaningful in the sense that "Alpha" can also mean "Supreme" or the early title of "Alpha" just stuck.

All Legions after the [[Dark Angels|First]] were put through a series of tests and trials by the [[Emperor]] before general release into the Great Crusade. Quite literally ''(and un-ironically)'' an '''"Alpha Test"''' where the Legion would only consist of 1,000-2,000 Astartes to see how they would perform their intended function, which was pre-determined by the Emperor before their creation.

The XXth Legion however was never publicly released or announced by the Imperium, though the initial tests proved positive, it never progressed past this initial stage and remained an '''''"Alpha"'' Legion'''. Leading some to question whether the XXth Legion were actually intended for a much darker purpose and were intentionally kept concealed by the Emperor.

For the first 40 years of the Great Crusade, the few warriors of the XXth were a ''"Ghost Legion"'' who would act in obscure warzones isolated from the other Legions yet would sometimes act under the heraldry of a different legion, or no legion at all. They performed dubious tasks such as assassination, kidnapping, artifact retrieval, escorts, and other clandestine support roles. It may not be coincidental that these tasks were assigned to the Legion whose number could be represented as a ''double cross'', which also figures prominently in their iconography. These roles would later be taken by the [[Adeptus Custodes|Custodians]], [[Officio Assassinorum]] and [[Sisters of Silence|Sororitas Inconcessus]], causing the XXth to fall into myth and stagnation. It was only with the discovery of the Primarch [[Alpharius]] (''which still might not even be his true name'') which allowed the Ghost Legion to resurface nearly 160 years later and become a true Legion in its own right, seemingly springing up from nowhere with a full force of 10,000 Astartes and a battle-ready fleet.

==History==
[[Image:Alpha_Legionnaire.jpg|thumb|240px|right|The denizens of this wiki failed to detect our infiltration forces. <s>[[Just as Planned]]</s> {{BLAM}} {{BLAM|''HERESY''!!! There are no Chaos forces infiltrating this site. Especially from the nonexistent Alpha Legion.}}]]
There are extremely persistent and consistent rumors that the most blessed Blood Ravens chapter of the holy Adeptus Astartes led by Chapter Master Gabriel Angelos and assisted by the Librarian Isador Akios, the PDF and Imperial Guard lead by [[Mordecai Toth|Inquisitor Mordecai Toth]], and the [[Eldar]] of [[Craftworld]] [[Biel-tan]] lead by [[Farseer]] [[Macha]], fought the mythical Alpha Legion lead by Chaos Lord Bale and Chaos Sorcerer [[Sindri Myr]] and an Orkish Waaagh! lead by the Warboss [[Orkamungus]] on the planet Tartarus (what a lovely name for a planet). Attempting to accuse the Blood Ravens of Heresy for spreading lies about fictional legions has universally ended in failure. The same applies to the Legion's alleged involvement in the events surrounding the [[Exterminatus]] of Typhon and [[Azariah Kyras]]' (almost) ascension to Daemonhood. We're not even going to mention the [[Metal Boxes]] incident in the [[Kaurava System]]...
Also any relation between the Alpha legion and [[Tzeentch]] dogma is purely coincidental. But everyone agrees they are space terrorists, and probably al-Qaeda with a grimdark-startrek-feel.

Here are some of the things that we know about them:
*Do not talk about the Alpha Legion
*Do NOT talk about the Alpha Legion.
*The Alpha legion never existed.
*The Alpha legion is the only real Warhammer 40,000 force, the rest are operatives dressed up.
*Alpharius was not killed. [[Roboute Guilliman|Rawbutt Jellyman]] was the one who died, and Alpharius disguised himself as him. Which means that he now leads the Imperium.
*'''+++Records Expunged+++'''

In all seriousness, we really, honestly DON'T have any clue what the fuck is up with the Alpha Legion because Games Workshop gives them so little fluff compared to the rest of the Traitor Legions, and even those few things we know might be misinformation. And because that's part of their shtick.

With the release of Forge World's 3rd Horus Heresy book, Extermination, as well as several Black Library short stories and novellas, there are a few confirmed events that the Alpha Legion took part in, for a given definition of confirmed. They consistently show that when the Alpha Legion is involved, even if they're ostensibly "allies", whether you're a loyalist, traitor, a secret society of aliens trying to destroy Chaos, or Alpharius himself, they're going to find a way to screw with you.

Finally, if we take [[Dawn of War]] to be canon (and Games Workshop certainly does) then we can infer that the Alpha Legion is probably just as splintered and broken up as the eight outright-traitor legions, with some of the sub-groups running off to [[Sindri|embrace Chaos outright]]. Honestly this is not all that surprising if you take into consideration [[Your dudes|GeeDub's stance on character motivation and adaptability]].

Hell, even when they have recently became their own class in the [[Black Crusade (RPG)|Black Crusade]] supplement ''Tome of Fate,'', the information provided is still somewhat vague and just stuff we already know. What it ''did'' reveal though, was that groups of Alpha Legionnaires are seldom seen together. Many are independent operatives working on extended reconnaissance missions sent by some higher up, insurgents waging a one-man guerrilla war, or trying to achieve a personal objective known only to them. Some are even seen amongst "the Severed"; a group of Chaos Marines forcibly exiled from their Legions.

Even when by themselves, many often gather a loyal cult of followers who try to help them in their goal. Alpha Legionnaires are more often than not the orchestrator behind Chaos cults and rebellions who fester within Imperial hives. They may not even pose as Marines, as ''Tome of Fate'' mentions that they have an unusual and legendary ability to disguise themselves as xenos, mutants, or even loyalists (maybe they are already loyalists, depending on who you ask). If one thinks about it, a terrifying possibility arises; that they have somehow acquired the transformative technologies of the Callidus assassins. They frequently travel in and out of the Eye of Terror, setting up decoys, assassinations, and propaganda within Imperial space.

==Tactics==
During the Great Crusade the Ultramarines had a proverb: "Information is victory". What they meant to say is "If you know an opponent, you can defeat them." The Alpha Legion took this doctrine and turned it up to eleven: why focus only on the intel '''you''' have? An enemy that doesn't know '''you''' (or better has nothing but carefully crafted disinformation about you) is doomed. That's pretty much what their strategy revolves around: ''fucking with their opponent's mind''. Since then no one knows anything for certain about them. If you think you know more, start worrying: this means Alpha Legion is messing with your mind right now. That's why the [[Ultramarines]] and Alpha Legion absolutely ''despised'' each other during the Horus Heresy, as their battle doctrines antagonized each other.

Notable examples (allegedly) include:
* Making everyone believe their primarch was killed by Rowboat Gyrlyman, despite even Ultramarines have no records about it.
* Leaking their attack plans to the subsector governor, so he strips nearby planets of garrisons to reinforce his defense, and then attacking those weakened nearby planets.
* Hypno-indoctrinating natives of space marine recruiting world with a trigger switch, and then turning the unwittingly brainwashed marines on their brothers when the Alpha Legion attacked their fortress-monastery.
* Conquering hundreds of planets during Horus Heresy with a ''single agent'' planting rumors of the Warmaster's advance, and causing civil wars and rebellions of people trying to plead their allegiance to Horus only to make sure he doesn't nuke their homes upon arriving. Did I mention all these were made by a single fucking person who wasn't even a full-fledged marine?
* Plotting and executing the Night of Thousand Rebellions, that effectively severed Segmentum Pacificus away from the Imperium, leaving it at the mercy of Chaos. Yeah, you heard it right - entire ''segmentum'', and while it ''is'' the smallest one, it's still like 15% of the Imperium.
* Adopting the battle cries of their enemies. Yelling "For The Emperor!" before you charge will cause any true loyalist opponent to hesitate - usually fatally.

{{BLAM|These stories are obvious and self-contradictory falsehoods, trash that pollutes the minds of the faithful. We apologize for any discomfort this wiki article may have caused you -- speak to your local [[Chaplain]] or [[Commissar]] if you require counseling. If you witness anyone spreading these harmful lies about a 20th Legion, immediately report the heretic to your local representative of the Inquisition or to your unit's commissar. If you happen to be the commissar and you witness yourself spreading these rumors, please report yourself to your bolt pistol.}}

[[File:FacebookGiotaTsirou.jpg|620px|thumb|left|Panagiota Tsirou, a 200 pound girl of short stature with unnatural agility that is incompatible with the physical boundaries that her obese biological structure should obviously follow, proving that a twisted disfigurement of reality is already existent, unleashing the incomprehensible influence of the warp in ways too unimaginable for anyone to acquaint with its reflections in our ludicrous lives, redefined by overwhelmingly shocking surprises.]]

[[File:WOW.jpg|1200px|thumb|right|In the 8th game of the World of Warcraft series, which was the first since the current 8th editions of Warhammer Fantasy and 40K, they also advanced the storyline following the same trend, as we have an official Alliance-Horde war for the first time since Warcraft 3, in total coordination with the real world when long unsettled conflicts, such as the Arab-Israeli war, Grexit, Kim Jong-un, US-China trade war, Fascism emergerging in Europe starting from Italy, Neo-ottomanism, American civil war, Monroe dogma over Nicolas Maduro and Lula and even a volcano in Hawaii erupting, are simultaneously all emerging as if we are truly living in a novel.]]

So to sum it up, they are in the top league of Warhammer 40 000 universe, fighting when and where they want to achieve great goals with very limited forces, much like [[Eldar]] and [[Thousand Sons]] except with less smug and arrogance. Also while Eldar and TS rely on extremely complicated plans, that either excel brilliantly or fail horribly, Alpha Legion plans on the other hand are mostly simple at their core, but extremely well planned, with multiple back up plans and are executed equally as stellar, so even if they are not successful (which happened multiple times, especially when they fought against equally smart or unpredictable opponents) they rarely suffer much from their defeats. It helps that their intelligence often excel at feeding completely inaccurate intel to their opponents. For example, their grand operation against the Raven Guard during the Heresy failed at the final stage with their undercover agents being compromised, and their back up plan of direct assault with their Mechanicum allies also failed, but due to extensive planning and a second fall back plan they still managed to steal the gene-codex and clear all the loose ends that could bite them in their asses later.

The Alpha Legion is basically an army of James Bond clones, like some unholy combination of the Taliban, CIA, and American MACV-SOG. No, really, that is how they fought. They were known for popping out of freaking nowhere and curbstomping the shit out of the enemy at the best possible moment (or worst, depending on whose side you were on). The Alpha Legion was also known to have a training doctrine that actually matches the idea of a super-soldier. That is, they trained ''all'' their marines in how to use all their equipment and weapons instead of picking out individuals to be trained as specialists while not bothering to educate the others on the subject beyond the basics. Every Alpha Legionnaire was a fully capable Assault Marine, Devastator, Fast Attack (like speeders and bikes, etc.), ''leader'' (hence, the hydra, because you couldn't decapitate their command structure, someone equally competent would take the leaders' places), trained in the use of Terminator armor, masters of stealth and psychology, actually used their serfs for more than spit-shining their boots, and did all of this while keeping each of their marines fully capable of matching a specialist from another Legion. This meant that the Alpha Legion was capable of having as many, or as few, specialist marines and vehicles as they wished to best complete any given mission at any time, tailored to each mission. Of course, that could all have been a trick, too... They also had specialized kill-teams used to sow chaos through the enemy during the Heresy and the Crusade. These so-called Headhunters had these awesome combo-bolters with two barrels. Omegon supposedly lead the Alpha Legion's black-ops division, no one really knows who is who, though, so just consider "Alpharius" and "Omegon" to basically be titles, your head will hurt less. Yes, even ''they'' have special forces.

Another interesting bit of their tactics is heavy focus on team play. Alpha legion squads move, fight and think as one, and are trained to quickly adapt to new squads. There is no "battle brotherhood" bullshit in this - just a simple extensive training and lack of typical chaos space marine hubris, jealousy and occasional backstabbing. It goes so far that Alpha Legion initiation trials are passed by squads rather then individual aspirants like in other loyalist chapters or chaos warbands, so you either get to play as a team or do not play at all (likely being killed if your squad fails the trial).

Their devotion to Chaos is not entirely concrete, either. Alpharius himself never turned to Chaos, only following Horus into the Heresy as he saw it as the best outcome. Of course some Alpha Legion members like [[Sindri Myr]] are balls-to-the-wall Chaos worshippers but they are a radical minority. Most may see Chaos as a means to an end, using it simply to advance whatever goals they have. Their devotion can depend entirely on the place and the time. Some may [[Night Lords|loathe it]] while others are [[Word Bearers|zealous in their belief]]. In terms of Chaos worship the Alpha Legion is one of the more diverse, some theories even claiming that some operatives within the Legion are in fact closet loyalists seeking to protect humanity and stop Chaos.

To make it even more interesting/confusing, what is considered a Legion of [[Space Marines]], was in reality more of a combined effort. More than any other Legion, they recruited outside the Legion for roles besides Astartes, or even agents. They were really, more accurately, a moving society. This trend only seems to have accelerated since the Heresy. No one knows how many regular human soldiers they have, but if their Cultist numbers are anything to go by, the Alpha Legion likely has whole Imperial Guard regiment strength armies integrated within. That and the fact they don't even hang out in the [[Eye of Terror]] or have a recruiting planet and yet seem to only grow indicates that they have a normally functioning society. At this rate, they'll start looking like the Twilight's Hammer Clan from [[Warcraft]], but it doesn't matter. The GOAL remains!...what that goal is, no one knows.

We wish their [[HMKids]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcpR4IutUMk theme] had had quotes from [[Sindri Myr]], [[Lord Bale]] or [[Carron]]... Hey, maybe they could do a remake?

Hopefully during the final battle at Holy Terra that will no doubt happen eventually, the Alpha Legion guns down the traitors with infiltrators amongst the Chaos Marines and then comes down on them like a tidal wave of ceramite, having secretly been building up their numbers constantly for the past ten thousand years specifically to sweep away all of the Imperium's enemies in one fell swoop galaxy-wide. One interesting possibility is even that most (or at least disturbingly many) Chaos Space Marines may secretly be Alpha Legionnaires waiting for the moment to strike. This becomes a lot more likely when one considers Alpharius may be his legion. Literally. When the Marines say "I am Alpharius", the might be speaking with complete honesty.

==Daily Routines of the Alpha Legion==

04:00 - The Alpha Legionnaires emerge from their - {{BLAM|++Information confiscated by orders of his majesty's most Holy Inquisition++}}

04:20 - The Alpha Legionnaires settle down to pray to {{BLAM|++Information confiscated by orders of his majesty's most Holy Inquisition++}}

05:00 - {{BLAM|++Information confiscated by orders of his majesty's most Holy Inquisition++}} - causing much confusion among their serfs.

06:00 - Morning Firing Rites. The Alp- {{BLAM|++Information confiscated by orders of his majesty's most Holy Inquisition++}} - the serfs are still left largely bewildered.

10:00 - Covert Sabotage. The Alpha Legion practice their covert warfare. Serfs are still confused on which is which.

14:00 - Tactical Indoctrination. The Alpha Legion are tasked on which pla- {{BLAM|++Information confiscated by orders of his majesty's most Holy Inquisition++}}

15:00 - Daily Facial Surgery. The Alpha Legion undergo daily surgery to continue to look like their Primarch.

17:00 - Eveni- {{BLAM|++Information confiscated by orders of his majesty's most Holy Inquisition++}} -ge, that and the serfs are still confused.

18:00 - Covert Sabotage and something involving {{BLAM|++Information confiscated by orders of his majesty's most Holy Inquisition++}} .

22:00 - Evening <strike>Malal</strike> Meal. A feast is prepared by the serfs who are still nervous on which Alpha Legionnaire is which as they try their hardest on picking the correct one, especially when it comes to dietary requirements.

23:00 - {{BLAM|++Information confiscated by orders of his majesty's most Holy Inquisition++}}

24:00 - The Alpha Legionnaires goes back to sleep in thei- {{BLAM|++Information confiscated by orders of his majesty's most Holy Inquisition++}}

== Gallery ==
<gallery>
File:But_oNLY_LOYALIST_BATTle_BROTHERS_NOT_THAT_THERE_ARE_TRAITOR_BROTHERS_JUST_SOME_THAT_ARE_MORE_LOYAL_THAN_OTHERS.png|Be wary, this might be the only chance you get.
</gallery>

{{Template:Chaos-Official}}

Damocles Crusade

2018-05-25T13:34:57Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:C4B5:9D8B:7448:168F:

The '''Damocles Crusade''' (also known as the Damocles ''Gulf'' Crusade) was a major campaign against the [[Tau Empire]] by the [[Imperium of Man]].

It began as a response to first contact between [[humanity]] and the Tau, during what the Tau called their Second Sphere Expansion. The Tau's colonization efforts brought them across the Damocles Gulf, and they encountered human worlds on the other side. These frontier planets were easy to subvert, as they felt little attachment to the Imperium, and even when there were loyalist factions, they were in the minority.

The Imperium was not happy to be losing worlds to Tau rule, so they sent a Crusade to toss them out, and eventually crush them all the way back to their home. They were so serious about this Crusade that they printed a special edition of the [[Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer]] just for [[Imperial Guard Regiment]]s going to the Damocles Gulf. The Crusade Fleet was a pretty serious one too, with hundreds of ships, thousands of regiments, an Ultramarine company led by Cato Sicarius ,and even a titan Legion. The Imperial Command (rightly so) believed that this would be enough to kill every last blue skinned xeno in the Tau empire. Unfortunately, Warp Storms came and smashed the Crusade Fleet into splinters, and then split the Tau empire from the Imperium meaning that reinforcements would be a long time coming.

Left with a handful of ships, and nearly every heavy hitter (including the Space Marines) gone, the remaining Imperial Commanders came to a decision; Go ahead with the invasion anyway despite having nothing but tanks, line infantry, and some artillery. Meeting little resistance in the border worlds, the crusade started strong with the Imperium leaping from world to world with very little stopping them. After a while, the warp storms began to weaken letting Imperial reinforcements trickle in, and Cato Sicarius came leading the first (and possibly only) mixed Space Marine force made up of nearly a hundred marines from some forty odd chapters, just in time for the final push. Emboldened, the Imperium made a beeline for the core of the Tau empire.

They were initially successful, but as the Tau brought more of their armies to the front, the Imperial advance slowed and eventually halted on the planet of Dal'yth Prime; mostly because they underestimated the Tau, who up until that point had only offered token resistance as they tried to evacuate worlds in front of the human advance and buy themselves time to recall their fleets to regroup at Dal'yth where they would make their stand.

Mind you, Dal'yth was a sept-world of First Sphere, meaning it was heavily fortified and there were shit-tons of fire warriors and auxiliaries garrisoned on it. Imperial fleet sustained heavy casualties even when approaching the planet, and while they managed to destroy or repel all Tau and Kroot spacecraft, nearly every battleship of the crusade was damaged rendering the fleet useless for anything but guarding Munitorum transport ships till the end of campaign. Regardless, Imperial forces successfully made planetfall, and on the first day they crushed the garrison forces on their landing zones with relative ease. This was the only thing they got easy on Dal'yth. As war progressed, Imperial forces found themselves constantly harassed by Tau night raids, carpet bombed by thousands of Barracudas and Tiger Sharks, and ambushed by Kroot kindreds. Even with their overwhelming numbers and orbital bombardment support, Imperial forces were tied up by maneuverable Tau forces and unable to move far away from landing zones due to the supply lines being torn apart by stealth-teams. Thousands of Imperial Guardsmen clashed with Kroot and Fire Warriors, while Space Marines were engaged in firefights with Tau battlesuits. Imperial titans found themselves in fights with Manta destroyers, which weren't favorable engagements for them at all, considering most Titan weapons aren't suited against fast flying targets. [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|And yet humans advanced against all odds]]. Despite the heavy losses, the Imperium simply had the numbers to take the casualties and keep going. Imperial tanks rolled towards Tau positions in the hundreds, outnumbering Tau battlesuits and tanks by dozens to one. The Kroot began to take costly losses as the Guard learned how Kroot launched their ambushes, and there simply were not enough Kroot to keep up the ambushes. The lightning assaults of the Space Marines proved difficult to defend against, for Tau doctrine did not favor the heavy defense needed to stop them. All in all, the Imperium was advancing slowly, and the Tau began to fear that defeat was inevitable as there seemed to be no end to the humans.

Then Tau brought in reinforcements, led by the now (in)famous commanders Shadowsun and Farsight, and Imperial reinforcements got lost in the Warp only to appear one hundred years later (ironically to help Tau destroy Hive Fleet Gorgon), and the conflict went to stalemate. Stalemated because, now that the crusade's supply line was who-knows-how-many years away, the rest of the Tau military had arrived. Not enough to stop the Imperium, of course, but enough to slow them until their lack of supplies eventually removed everything but lasguns and swords from play.

The Imperium probably would have kept throwing regiments and [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|Titan]]s at the Damocles Gulf, but that was when [[Hive Fleet Behemoth]] showed up and they needed every ship and guardsman they had to repel the invasion of [[Macragge]], so they negotiated a cease-fire with the Tau and withdrew. The Tau Empire, shaken by the show of force from a power they thought weak and distant, tried to reassure the people and regain their expansion's momentum by re-taking all the worlds they had lost to the Imperium, and later launched the Third Phase Expansion to take further advantage of the Imperium's retreat.

At the end Tau learned valuable lessons about the Imperium's strengths and weaknesses, and their own blind spots (such as shitty merchant fleet), which they then patched ASAP. Imperium, being Imperium, learned nothing, making the same damn mistakes with overstretched supply lines and frontal assaults through killing grounds during Nimbosa, Taros and Zeits campaigns, and ultimately losing all of them, despite initial success. However, it is strongly hinted that, despite all their advanced technology and everything they have learned, the only reason the Tau have been largely successful with their Third Phase of Expansion is that the majority of the Imperium's military might has been diverted to defend against Tyranid hive-fleets, WAAAGH Ghazkhull and the Chaos assault on the Cadian Gate along thousands and thousands of other conflicts with a threat level far above those of the Tau Empire. Abaddon's 13th Black Crusade alone has tied up hundreds of guard regiments and dozens of space marine chapters, including almost two full battlefleets; leaving only token forces along with Ultramarines in the Ultima Segmentum.

[[File:WOW.jpg|1200px|thumb|right|In the 8th game of the World of Warcraft series, which was the first since the current 8th editions of Warhammer Fantasy and 40K, they also advanced the storyline following the same trend, as we have an official Alliance-Horde war for the first time since Warcraft 3, in total coordination with the real world when long unsettled conflicts, such as the Arab-Israeli war, Grexit, Kim Jong-un, US-China trade war, Fascism emergerging in Europe starting from Italy, Neo-ottomanism, American civil war, Monroe dogma over Nicolas Maduro and Lula and even a volcano in Hawaii erupting, are simultaneously all emerging as if we are truly living in a novel.]]

[[File:FacebookGiotaTsirou.jpg|620px|thumb|left|Panagiota Tsirou, a 200 pound girl of short stature with unnatural agility that is incompatible with the physical boundaries that her obese biological structure should obviously follow, proving that a twisted disfigurement of reality is already existent, unleashing the incomprehensible influence of the warp in ways too unimaginable for anyone to acquaint with its reflections in our ludicrous lives, redefined by overwhelmingly shocking surprises.]]

==The Name==
Damocles, who the campaign and region was named after, was a man in Ancient Sicillia, who was stern fan of the local tyrant called Dionysios and considered him to be very fortunate. Dionysios wondered why Damocles liked his job and his kingdom so much, and went to teach him a lesson. He invited Damocles for a party at his residence, which Damocles of course was super-excited about - there was only one thing that Dionysios hadn't told Damocles, and that was that, while eating, Damocles would be laying under a hanging sword, attached to the ceiling by a single hair from a horse' mane.

After a very strained and unhappy dinner, Dionysios explained the act to Damocles - He wanted Damocles to feel like he does, like a tyrant. A tyrant always has a sword over him, that can fall down and strike him down at any moment. He is never at peace and can never relax, but can't do anything about it, either: That would just result in him killing innocents and doing heinous, but ultimately useless acts. Damocles was scarred for life, but had learnt a lesson. Never again did he talk to Dionysios' praise.

What has that to do with the Damocles Crusade? Well, the Imperium ''did'' attack the Tau Empire, a faction notorious for being unassailable by your usual means, and ultimately ended up being humbled by their futile act, while the Tau Empire only grew stronger from the experience...

My god, have [[GW|they]] got no clue.

==Rematch==
250 years later, after dealing with Ork and Tyranid invasions into their territory while fighting small local wars against the Imperium, Tau eventually launched a full scale expansion into Damocles sector. So the tides had turned and it's ''their'' crusade now.

It started with a series of lightning strike attacks against Zeist sector, to which Imperium responded by sending almost all available guard from nearby sectors and a chapter-sized space marine force from dozens of [[Ultramarines]] successor chapters led by [[Cato Sicarius]]. It appeared to be a great Imperial victory, as the space marines were able to rout local guardsmen and drove Tau raiding parties out of the sector. In fact, it was just a distraction to bleed the Damocles sector of reinforcements and the stationed Tau forces (which Sicarius mistakenly estimated as million-sized) masquerading as entire Third Sphere army was really but a minor fraction of what the Tau Empire actually prepared for war. Way to go being Shadowsun’s unwitting puppet, golden boy! To add an insult to an injury Tau learned that little trick from the Ultramarines, when Ageman and his first company pulled something very similar on a much smaller scale about 50 years before that against small Tau colony.

And then Tau came in force all guns blazing with a goal to take over entire Damocles sector, conquering poorly garrisoned planets in dozens, while Imperial forces were scrambling to retreat and regroup. The first real battle happened on a hive-world of Agrellan, which was a major logistics node instrumental to taking control over the Gilded Worlds (a tightly packed group of mineral-rich planets in the center of the sector).

Despite Air caste overwhelming orbital victory humans still managed deploy reinforcements of White Scars, Imperial Knights of house Terryn and Catachan Jungle Fighters to aid local defenders. Initial phases of planet assault didn't go well for defenders, as Shassera laid siege on the Prime hive-sity from the blind zones of it's artillery and forced imperials to sally out only for them to fall into a textbook Kauyon trap, surrounded and forced back with massive casualties, although given both Knights and biker marines were something Tau never encountered before and thus weren't properly prepared for the baiting force also suffered greatly. Following this Knighs and Catachans wisely decided to refrain from further counter-attacks, but not the Scars, who mounted a second sally-out with a goal to hunt down Shadowsun and cut off her head. Against an opponent who's infamous for her cunning bait-and-ambush tactics it went about as smoothly as you would expect. Marine strike force lost all of it's aircraft, roughly 30% of manpower and only managed to break encirclement and retreat back to the Hive due to <s>gue'la mind-science</s> psychic storm summoned by Scar [[Librarian|Stormseer]] and unexpected help from the Raven Guard who manged to out-sneak and out-ambush Tau ambushers before they locked White Scar hunt completely. This set an overall tone for all White Scar engagements for the rest of crusade.

At this point both forces received new orders from their high command - Tau to take Agrellan quickly with a swift blow rather than a series of patient, cost-effective but time-consuming engagements, and Imperials - to evacuate the world and join combined sector forces gathered to stop Tau invasion. While Tau are generally uncomfortable with sieges and city-fighting, preferring to lure their enemies to more favorable positions, there were simply no alternatives to taking down Agrellan if they wanted to conquer the Damocles Gulf in time, so Shadowsun [[Heresy|took a page out of Farsight's book]] and planned and executed a [[Indrick Boreale|MULTIPLE, SIMULTANEOUS, AND DEVASTATING DEFENSIVE DEEP STRIKES]] on Imperial defenses, using all the cheese she could get, namely spamming the new Riptide suits humans weren't familiar with. Even though they were outnumbered six-to one (before you call bullshit this is including [[Planetary Defense Force|PDF]] that made the bulk of imperial forces), Tau scored a decisive victory and took down <s>Agrellan</s> Hive Prime* in a single day, thanks in no small part to Riptides serving as Distraction Carnifexes, Shadowsun's infiltration force killing Imperial Command HQ with ''perfectly'' placed shots, resulting with guardsmen running around like headless chickens, and one of the new Tau experimental weapons ''accidentally blowing up a fucking moon''. Even while [[White Scars]], [[Raven Guard]] and some Knights of House Terryn put some spot-on resistance, the rape train gained too much momentum and it had no brakes – the only thing the marines and knights manged to do was to pierce the encirclement to allow a few survivors to evacuate and barely secure LZs to let that evacuation happen, and it costed them. Agrellan was taken over by the Tau Empire and renamed to Mu'Gulath Bay - The Gate of New Hope - meant to become a new sept world and the base of operations for entire Third Sphere Army.

*Later they realized that taking a whole fucking planet "in a single day" bit was really fucking stupid (and physically impossible) and retconned it; Agrellan was home to seven hive cities, and each one needed to be besieged individually. This took several weeks all told.

In an uncharacteristic display of [[Farsight|hot-headedness]] (likely [[Warhammer 40,000: Fire Warrior|coaxed by daemonic whispers]] of the Agrellan wastes), Shadowsun lead a pursuit of the retreating imperials to a Voltoris - a knight world of house Terryn - the last piece of meaningful Imperial resistance in the sector (intending to stomp them for good instead of evading them like she had done the entire campaign), but it was a trap, the pursuit force gets decimated and [[Kor'sarro Khan]] wounds her (i.e.: the cover of Damocles), though she managed to escape with her head still on her shoulders. This was the only true defeat the Tau had through the whole campaign, though, and it caused her to regain her cool and return to her regular cold-hearted calculative bitch behavior, mainly because Aun'Va decided to show up in person at this point.

Following their advance towards the Gilded Worlds, Tau attacked a fortress world of Perfectia, but their old friends of Raven Guard, White Scars and Knights were already there and with reinforcements, with the Raven Guard bringing almost their entire chapter. The war turned into a a contest of cunning traps and escaping them with Raven Guard captains and Fire Caste commanders trying to outsmart each other with a limited success for both sides, and while the Raven Guard was familiar with that kind of war, the White Scars ended up completely out of their field of expertise and in a hilarious chain of fake retreats and ambushes, Shasera out-tricked Kor'Sarro so hard Tzeentch himself took a moment to admire the amount of Just As Planned involved. The resulting clusterfuck ended with a massive battle where Shadowsun proved herself a superior trap mistress and even pulled an Alpharius gambit on the Raven Guard chapter master, blowing him to bits with her new Ghostkeel suit while giving her own XV-22 to a sitting duck volunteer. White Scars retaliated with <s>FOUL SORCERY</s> psychic storms, conjured by their Stormseer conclave (turns out the librarian survived the melta shot from the previous book), but once again it was while effective, not effective ''enough'' to do anything but buy more time. When the war turned into a meat grinder despite Shasera's best effort to end it quickly and decisively, the deployment of the new Stormsurge suits proved instrumental to fighting off imperial Knights, and when surviving Knights begun their retreat and evacuation, the rest of the Imperials broke and retreated too. While the marines continued to resist, and Shrike even lead a successful counter-attack to retake Severax's gene-seed, the war was pretty much over. It wasn't as curb-stompy as the Mu'Gulath victory, but despite suffering heavy losses (like it was an [[Imperial_Armour|IA]] book), the Tau conquered Perfectia and renamed it Vas'Talos ("Boundless Scope", but "Talos" was a greek giant treasure guardian, kinda like this sept guarding the advance on the Guilded worlds).

While Tau propaganda hailed it as a brilliant victory, it took too much time and too many bodies, and the Imperium launched a counter-invasion on <s>Mu'Gulath</s> Agrellan, and this time - following their dogma of "throwing bodies at it until it's fixed" - arrived with a shit-ton of guardsmen and Leman Russes [[derp|(but they kinda forget to send anything else)]], who are only good at "proper", frontal fights, being easy prey for the Kauyon tactics the Tau had been using the entire campaign. Imperium, [[Derp|being Imperium]], merely orders them to [[Chenkov|march forward nonetheless]], ''expect to be ambushed'' and hope for the best.

This in turn allowed the badly outnumbered and besieged Tau to inflict much more casualties a force their size had any right to, but Imperium ''being Imperium'' just threw yet MOAR men at them AND tanks, which turned the second Agrellan campaign into a shameless [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Imperial_Guard/Armoured_Battlegroup(7E)|tank porn fest]], mainly because most of the battle zones were [[Tallarn|almost featureless irradiated deserts]] with a few ruins and dunes here and there (Agrellan's a re-settled [[Exterminatus|virus-bombed]] planet after all), with Pask and Longstrike covering the hulls of their vehicles with kill marks, and rows of Leman Russes getting outranged by rows of Hammerheads (somehow, even though they have the same effective range) while [[Apocalypse|silly infantrymen get mowed to red or blue paste]] in between them and air support was mostly unavailable because of the pollution/sand-storms of the planet (which were actually controlled by the Tau). The Imperium actually manages to tank through their initial losses, cut off Tau retreat, and start pounding them into the dust through sheer belligerence and pinpoint shooting from Knight-Commander Pask. The battle continues to escalate as Imperial forces press onward to stop the Tau from retreating and regrouping to their ambush tactics forcing Shadowsun out of her Kauyon element, and requiring her to commit more and more of her limited reserves into a standup fight that the Tau forces couldn't possibly win. Complicating matters further, the danger to Aun'va's life clouded Shadowsun's judgement and prevented her from committing all of her forces at a critical moment, which allowed Imperial forces to deflect a key counterattack and begin turning what had grown into one of the largest battles of the campaign into a rout in the Imperium's favor.

Then [[Farsight]] drops into the fray at the critical moment, Manta striking out of orbit from ships that seemed to appear quite literally out of thin air (presumably he's been spying on the Tau Empire and intercepted the distress call). Despite having declared Farsight a outcast and a rebel, the Tau are emboldened and manage to rally to his Enclaves, slowing the Imperial invasion down to a crawl with a violent stalemate over the world. Despite their victories, because the Tau are still severely outnumbered they cannot hold their ground and end up falling back to the final shielded fortress, 'shielded against orbital attacks (because that makes sense on a frontier world that had very recently faced war), built over the ruins of the former capital hive.

Rather than do the sensible thing that would have ended the war then and there, like have Terminators teleport next to the shield generator to destroy it, or have Assault Marines drop in to destroy it (like they were doing earlier in the exact same fucking book), the Imperium decides to engage in a proper static fight (their specialty), in this case an offensive siege. However, Farsight, ''master'' of Mont'Ka, in a book called Mont'Ka performs a, you guessed it... [[Troll|''Kauyon'']] while Shadowsun... also performs a Kauyon [[derp|that the book calls a Mont'ka]]. This trap was meant to trick the Space Marines into attacking what looked to be a bunch of Tau training, and despite being nowhere near the important battle, offering no strategic value to the Imperium, and being in an area that could've been leveled with ordnance or orbital strikes, they take the bait and attack, having learned no lessons from their earlier engagements and forgetting to bring vital equipment like scanners so that the trap would work. They end up caught in it and do not contribute to the final battle in any way. Shrike and two full companies aren't fooled by the trap though, and manage to massacre the Tau in a melee ambush, though [[FAIL|200 (give or take a few) Space Marines running rampant behind Tau lines amounts to absolutely nothing and the book very quickly forgets that they're even around.]] Luckily for the Tau, the author liked them and so the Imperium was more than happy to send all of their Imperial Guard walking [[FAIL|(what, you expected them to have chimeras?)]] in easy to pick off formations directly towards the guns that were specialized in picking them off (sending vehicles right in front of the stormsurge suits for example), rather than going around to a part of the city that wasn't as heavily defended and attacking there (in case you're curious, yes the there was more than one way into the city, no the Tau should not have the numbers to cover all fronts), and since the Mechanicus forgot that they're supposed to hate the Tau, they don't attack either even though attacking through ruined cities is something the Skitarii excel at. Because of this, and since the Imperial Guard [[Fail|cannot achieve anything without Space Marine assistance]], and due to the fact that the stormsurge suits are invincible whenever they want to be, the Tau (''masters'' guerilla warfare) actually manage to utterly defeat the imperials on a frontal fight across the entire city, even without Farsight's assistance despite him having a vital role to play, and without Shadowsun to organize and direct them properly for a good portion of the fight and despite the fact that they did not have the numbers needed to hold the Imperium back in earlier static fights.

While this was going on, the Imperium decides to employ the [[Officio Assassinorum]] Execution Force, using the final battle as a cover, on four of the top Tau Leaders: Shadowsun, Farsight, Farsight ''again'' (because they knew who the Deus Ex Machina was), and Aun'Va. While the first three end in some degree of failure or another due to plot armour (ie Tau's ''perfect'' reactions), the Callidus manages to kill one random Ethereal (this has no impact, even though it's supposed to traumatize all the Tau who hear of it), and the [[Culexus]] sent to kill Aun'Va succeeds by using his pariah abilities to literally hitch a ride into Aun'va's complex, murder his guards, and then brutally dispatching the Ethereal Supreme, leading to the actual death of a named character with a model for the first time in....fuck, '''FOREVER'''. In order to keep everyone calm, they replace the xeno-pope with a ''perfect'' hologram as they decided to fall back. You'd think they themselves would despair over losing at least two Ethereals, but luckily Shadowsun's mind is [[Mary Sue|plot armoured too]], (and Farsight no longer cares). And to put in a final insult, the Adeptus Mechanicus decide to drop the [[Exterminatus]] on Agrellan and erect a massive firewall around the Damocles sector, cutting any Tau colonies off from supplies from the empire proper. Luckily the main Tau building was outfitted with plot armour generators and the firestorm killed anyone outside of it (including millions of Tau and imperial leftovers) without cooking the people inside (think bread in an oven). Agrellan is lost, the Tau evacuate safely (though how they leave the planet and how Farsight returns to his Enclaves is left up to your imagination) and decide to learn how to build firewall immune ships. This causes massive casualties in the process, but failure is the mother of innovation, and EVERYTHING causes massive casualties in 40k anyway.

In the end, Shrike now has to take on bigger roles, Kor'sarro's still salty about getting owned, and Shadowsun and Farsight decide to agree to disagree, if only because they don't have the taupower to waste on killing each other. And speaking of that red bastard, he has to leave because his Enclaves are being eaten by [[Tyranids]].

Some reflections:

* Aun'Va has been replaced by some holos and some other ethereal may be doing the speech writing job.
* Farsight enclaves are getting NOM NOMned by the tyranids...AGAIN.
* The Imperium manages to lose yet another huge battleforce (mostly off-screen). Do notice the Raven Guard get Boreale'd (also off-screen), and while GW will be talking about some rubbish like honour in sacrifice and keeping the spirit in dark times this pretty much confirms they are becoming just another punching bag fallen to the level of the Astra Militarum {{BLAM|'''*BLA-*'''}} BURST CANNON FIRE! PEWPEWPEW! Yeah, pretty much what happened. ([[Drop_Site_Massacre|As if they weren't before]]).
**The battles could be resumed as "BUT THEN RESERVES ARRIVED". Everyone tries to out-Alpharius each other, too bad the imperials had to work with whatever was at hand and Tau brought a full crusade with them. And, because this is a Tau book, when the Imperial reinforcements do arrive the Tau get yet more ''unexpected reinforcements'' in the form of Farsight popping out of the <s>blue</s> red and the Imperium forget to send in the proper gear to the proper warzones.
* The Mechanicus decided to show how it's done and set fire to the nebulae, as it seems they are the only human force which took everlasting measures in the wake of the battlegroup's failure. If you were expecting much AdMech involvement, sorry, they just snatch xeno-tech (Heresy!) and return to orbit, completely forgetting that they're supposed to hate the Tau to the point that they want them all dead. Not content with merely abandoning their IG allies, they keep to [[Grimdark|watching the many ways they die]] (mainly to see if there was [[Blood Ravens|anything else to steal]]). There was, so they send an entire Skitarii battleforce to try and abduct some stormsurge suits, which catches the Tau in an ambush...only to cut to Pask doing what he always does, the Skitarii forgotten for the rest of the book. If ''anyone'' even remotely won, it was them.

* Are you starting to see a pattern here? Most of these campaign books seem to be ending with Exterminatus, just thrown in such an unorthodox and complicated way we are starting to wonder where the traditional methods went.
* IRL Tau gundams sell extremely well, expect next-gen battlesuits to conquer the entire Eastern Fringe FOR THE GREATER anime show (No, seriously, their holos are used as propaganda among the Tau kids)! And then got NOMNOMed by the Tyranids to boost their sales.

{{Template:40k-Timeline}}
[[Category:Imperial]][[Category:Tau]]

Vraks

2018-05-25T08:10:49Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:C4B5:9D8B:7448:168F:

[[File:Vraks_titans.png|right|400px|thumb|]]
'''Vraks''' is a system in the [[Imperium of Man]], near the [[Eye of Terror]]. It is part of the defenses centered on [[Cadia]]; in particular, its main planet, Vraks Prime, is an armory world, an entire planet used by the [[Departmento Munitorum]] to stockpile weapons and ammunition. The justification is that, if the tithe fleets bringing weapons directly to Cadia from further out in the Imperium get delayed, they can withdraw supplies from Vraks until contact is restored.

As far as the environment goes, it used to be an intensely volcanic world, so there's sulfur everywhere, the weather is stormy and cloudy, and the entire ground is either desert or ocean. The only things living there were algae, and then the [[Administratum]] moved in and brought a bunch of humans with them to set up the armory. It eventually got a basilica, to commemorate some martyr or another, and a big fortress to protect the armory (that many tanks and guns in one place proved a tempting target for pirates), designed to be all but invulnerable to orbital attack, and for ten thousand years, Vraks Prime never fell to pirates, [[Chaos]], [[xenos]], or worker rebellions. Unfortunately, this state of affairs was not to last, because the Vraks system was created by [[Forge World]] for a trilogy of [[Imperial Armour]] books; Vraks Prime was soon to be the site of a mighty siege.

== Fall of Vraks ==
[[File:Krieg_soldier.jpg|250px|right|thumb|]]
It was not pirates or [[xenos]] that eventually brought Vraks low, but a rogue member of the [[Ecclesiarchy]], one Cardinal Xaphan. Having recently been promoted into the post of Cardinal-Astral of the entire Scarus Sector (if the name is familiar to you, that's because it's where the [[Gregor Eisenhorn|Eisenhorn]] and [[Gideon Ravenor|Ravenor]] trilogies took place, plus it's next door to the Calixis Sector, where [[Dark Heresy]] is set. It was named after a Great Crusade era Word Bearer's Captain going missing there ; Captain Scarus - Lorgar, eventualy arch-priest of ALL HERESY, bitched out salty tears about this and renamed the sector), Xaphan decided to take a tour of his domain. He found that he enjoyed rousing armies of the faithful, and decided (with some prodding by his number-one oh-so-trustworthy assistant Deacon Mamon) that he could do more good leading an army than working a desk job. The only problem was that pesky Decree Passive preventing him from raising men under arms, so to keep his plans hidden, he went to Vraks, where there were plenty of soldiers and weapons to make an army, as well as a basilica to give him an excuse to stick around.

The [[Inquisition]] found out anyway, and sent a [[Vindicare]] assassin after him, but the assassin failed; seeing that covertness was no longer an option, Xaphan moved the workers of Vraks to open rebellion. The Imperial presences on the planet, namely the [[Administratum]], [[Adeptus Arbites]], and the [[Adepta Sororitas]] (who had been his bodyguards until this point), were either killed or imprisoned, which should have been a clue that he was making a bad move, but Mamon assured him that he was in the right, and that his enemies were merely deluded fools who would see the light once he actually got started on his crusade.

== Siege of Vraks ==
The [[Departmento Munitorum]] wasn't going to sit back and let Vraks turn traitor -- not because of the eight million workers living there, but because it was a giant armory (which could not be allowed to fall into traitor hands, or be kept from the [[Imperial Guard Regiment|regiments]] who needed them), and because, if word got out, other worlds could fall into rebellion, and use Vraks' supplies for themselves. Therefore, the world would have to be taken, and quickly. The Citadel of Vraks was all but invulnerable to orbital attack, so it could not be assaulted directly (ruling out the [[Space Marines]] and [[Imperial Navy]]), and the world's massive stores meant that a blockade-and-raid strategy would take five centuries to complete. The only way to take Vraks back in under a century was to put the Citadel under siege and take it by force, so they took some thirty regiments of the [[Death Korps of Krieg]] and put them into an army. They were given twelve years to take Vraks back.

[[File:WOW.jpg|1200px|thumb|left|In the 8th game of the World of Warcraft series, which was the first since the current 8th editions of Warhammer Fantasy and 40K, they also advanced the storyline following the same trend, as we have an official Alliance-Horde war for the first time since Warcraft 3, in total coordination with the real world when long unsettled conflicts, such as the Arab-Israeli war, Grexit, Kim Jong-un, US-China trade war, Fascism emergerging in Europe starting from Italy, Neo-ottomanism, American civil war, Monroe dogma over Nicolas Maduro and Lula and even a volcano in Hawaii erupting, are simultaneously all emerging as if we are truly living in a novel.]]

[[File:FacebookGiotaTsirou.jpg|620px|thumb|left|Panagiota Tsirou, a 200 pound girl of short stature with unnatural agility that is incompatible with the physical boundaries that her obese biological structure should obviously follow, proving that a twisted disfigurement of reality is already existent, unleashing the incomprehensible influence of the warp in ways too unimaginable for anyone to acquaint with its reflections in our ludicrous lives, redefined by overwhelmingly shocking surprises.]]

=== Phase One: Landing and Siege ===
[[File:Krieg_night_fight.jpg|right|thumb|300px|]]
The Citadel was the only thing really worth defending on Vraks, so the planet had no anti-air or anti-orbital defenses on the opposite side of the fortress (which is stupid, there's no excuse to not have anti-orbital defenses across the world). The army used the far side of the planet as a landing zone, and over several months, they landed all of the troops, vehicles, and supplies they would need (one could reasonably wonder why [[Tyranids|other]] [[Eldar|races]] [[Orks|wouldn't]] [[Chaos|do]] [[Dark Mechanicus|the]] [[Dark Eldar|same...]] though to cut them some slack: Vraks defenses were planned with the idea that they only had to last long enough to get help from the Imperium). Meanwhile, they also built a bunch of rail lines around the planet to carry said army to within a hundred miles of the Citadel's outer defensive lines. Once there, the Kriegers built their own trench and gun network to encircle the fortress. They anticipated that, because the outer defense line was so long, a single massed assault on a particular zone would be flanked and repulsed by the neighbors of their target (a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog_defence Hedgehog defense]), so the plan was to pound the whole thing at once until it folded. They would then surround the second defense line; said line would be small enough to be less resistant to a massed assault, so they would attack a single point to crack the line wide open. Then, they would surround the Citadel itself, and finally be close enough to bombard it directly with their heavy guns and pound it to the ground.

After all of this planning and logistical work, the Death Korps finally began the attack on the outer defense line about a year after first arriving at Vraks, but of course things didn't go as planned. The enemy had substantially reinforced the defenses since the last Imperial survey, and so the "weak point" that the Kriegers tried to attack as a first blow wasn't so weak after all. Matters stalemated for two years, until Captain Tyborc managed to take a bunker whose artillery piece had been destroyed. The guy was a badass even among Kriegers: he took wounds in every part of his body except his left arm, and only eight men of his entire company survived to see reinforcements arrive, but the Imperium had found its breakthrough.

The outer defenses fell pretty quickly, but as the Imperial army got stalled again when the defenders of Vraks made a counter-attack to the North that forced the Imperium to halt its advances in the west and south to get reserves to stop the counter-attack. In the end, the stalemate resumed, just a little tighter around the fortress.

=== Phase Two: The Noose Tightens ===
Seven years after the invasion, the Imperial army was still stalled at the second defense line, when reports of renegade Space Marines assisting the defenders started filtering in. It eventually emerged that Mamon was an [[Alpha Legion]] spy and had called for backup. Cardinal Xaphan was probably no longer even pretending to serve the Emperor when he signed them up for his crusade. Anyway, two years later, the Imperial army got some more line korps, and to everyone's surprise [[Azrael]] showed up with half the [[Dark Angels]] in tow as well. His goals were to smash the heretics' star port (pun intended), to stop them from getting more reinforcements, and to capture Arkos the Faithless, the Alpha Legion's commander on Vraks. They successfully captured and destroyed the star port, but Arkos got away and Azrael was severely wounded, not to mention pissed.

The success and the new reinforcements led the Imperial commanders to attempt another massed assault. It stalled (again), until Colonel Attas hatched a plan to have his artillery and infantry make a synchronized assault -- blast the enemy while his troops crawled up through no-mans-land, and then move the bombardment when the infantry was within charging distance, in other words original WW1 Stormtrooper tactics combined with a creeping barrage. Not quite as badass a feat as Tyborc's, but it worked. The second defense line cracked and fell, and the Imperial army was within sight of the Citadel.

Xaphan, having jumped headfirst into heresy by this point, rubbed his hands and cackled with glee, because he knew that the slaughter was only beginning -- he had some more friends on the way.

=== Phase Three: Chaos Joins the Fray ===
[[File:Vraksian_enforcer.jpg|200px|thumb|right|]]
Captain Fodor managed to put a dent in the inner defense line when he led his company to take a vital bunker. He continued Tyborc's tradition of making footholds with risky, badass feats; among other things, he had a member of his squad torch a trench with a [[flamer]], and then he led the charge into the trench ''while it was still on fire''. Unfortunately, his success was not to last, because Arkos had called in a full [[Chaos]] fleet. (At this point, Xaphan had been imprisoned in his own fortress, as he had outlived his usefulness.) They destroyed the Imperial Navy detachment over Vraks and dropped [[Khorne Berzerker]]s right onto the inner defense line (Fodor's skull was taken, by the way). Then another ship rolled in and dropped a traitor [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|Titan]] legion and a bunch of fliers on them. And then some [[Plague Marines]] showed up, seized some nasty poison gas stored on Vraks, and gassed a whole regiment.

It was decided that siege tactics were no longer viable. The commander was dismissed (though not executed - nobody blamed him or {{blam|BLAMMED}} him for not knowing in advance that so many reinforcements would arrive), and his replacement got some Titans of their own as well as a larger Imperial Navy division to turn the tide back and regain air superiority. They were successful in this, although the enemies didn't break and run this time; instead, they dug in. For those counting, this is twelve years after the siege began.

=== Phase Four: Breaching the Citadel ===
Fortunately for the Imperium, the Death Korps of Krieg could fight underground as well as over it. Their miners and engineers worked tirelessly, fought through enemy counter-mining efforts, and finally found and destroyed one of the foundation pylons for the Citadel's inner wall. They destroyed it and brought down a huge chunk of the wall, exposing the squishy insides for the rest of the army to pile through.

The infantry regiments advanced on the breach, first in [[Gorgon (tank)|Gorgon]]s, and then on foot when they reached the remnants of the wall itself (the crater left by the blast was impassable for vehicles). The first attack failed when enemy troops from surrounding wall sections piled into the breach to stem the tide, so a few weeks later, they tried again, with a bigger assault plus a few suppressing attacks on the neighboring wall sections. That failed, too. They tried making more breaches, but while they got pretty good at knocking holes in the walls, they were never able to take them. Fourteen years after the start of the siege (two years longer than planned), the Departmento Munitorum decided that it had worn on long enough, and started to draw Krieg regiments originally destined for Vraks to more successful and more important warzones elsewhere, telling the command staff that they had five years to wrap everything up.

Fortunately (inevitably, for those familiar with Warhammer 40,000 fiction), the [[Space Marines]] were on hand to save the day. In particular, the [[Red Scorpions]] donated a hundred Marines (from various companies) to the cause. With their [[Terminator]]s seizing the breach, the remaining Titans gathered up to keep the enemy Titans at bay, and a mixed Marine and Death Korps force following up to hold the ground and drive the enemy away, the Citadel's curtain wall finally fell, and there was only the fortress itself left to take.

=== Phase Five: Wrapping Up ===
By this time -- eighteen years after the start of the siege -- word of the extensive involvement of Chaos had reached the ears of the [[Inquisition]], and so Inquisitor Lord [[Hector Rex]] brought some [[Grey Knights]] and [[Red Hunters]] to take control of the situation and get things wrapped up before the Death Korps found itself in over its head. Though the Death Korps was still being drawn down, Rex managed to keep enough soldiers to contain the heretics while he made arrangements to bring a final end to the conflict. First, the remaining artillery brought their combined firepower to bear on the fortress's void shield to overload them. Then, infantry would surge up to take the gates. Tyborc, now a badass Colonel, would lead the charge. The attack stalled, so the [[Red Hunters]] made their drop, but the traitors responded with a [[Reaver Battle Titan]] and some [[Alpha Legion]]naires, which wiped out the first wave. Finally, a wave of [[Marauder Bomber]]s cracked the gates and permitted the assault to proceed.

However, Arkos and company had set their Chaotic rituals in motion, and managed to summon [[An'ggrath]], one of [[Khorne]]'s mightiest [[Bloodthirster]]s. He wrecked the entire company of Grey Knights who went into the fortress to stop him, and Inquisitor Rex only barely managed to defeat him. Once he was gone, though, the fight was basically over, and the only remaining task was to clear the catacombs under the fortress.

Some [[Red Scorpions]] and the [[Angels of Absolution]] turned up to participate in the final attack, to regain the honor of their brothers who had gone before them and snatch up some Alpha Legionnaires for the interrogators, respectively. Arkos killed the Company Master of the Angels of Absolution detachment, but was finally captured (the Interrogator-Chaplain who apprehended him ordered him "[[Abaddon|disarmed]]").

== Aftermath ==
[[File:Krieg_quagmire.jpg|300px|right|thumb|]]
The war to retake Vraks took eighteen years instead of twelve, and didn't so much "retake" Vraks as deny it the enemy, since the ammunitions piles and supplies stockpiles on Vraks were completely consumed and those were the primary reason for the siege in the first place. In the end, the primary result was lots of death. The Imperium destroyed fourteen traitor Titans (for the cost of nine Titans of their own), the [[Dark Angels]] got a bunch of prisoners from the [[Alpha Legion]] to interrogate (in retrospect, their interest may have been due to a possible link between Arkos and the [[Fallen Angels]]), and the weapons of Vraks were kept on-planet and not allowed to be taken off-planet by other traitor warbands. On the other hand, Vraks and its defenses were thoroughly ruined by the war, and the contents of its vaults were either used up or so tainted by Chaos that they had to be destroyed. A Pyrrhic victory if there ever was one, the only thing the Imperium ever gaining being that this world could not be used by the enemy. The prisoners rescued from the cells in the fortress, six Sisters of Battle and Cardinal Xaphan himself (who had long since been turned into a [[Chaos Spawn|you-know-what]]), were so destroyed by their experiences that they were barely people anymore. The Sisters ended up in Inquisitorial custody, and thanks to their "care" in Chaos custody, [[/d/|were so experimented on and broken by the time they were freed]] that they were eventually given the Emperor's Peace (read: bolt round to the skull), while the thing that used to be Cardinal Xaphan was summarily executed by the Grey Knights who found him.

Meanwhile, Deacon Mamon, the jerk who started the whole thing, escaped justice entirely. In fact, [[Nurgle]] was so pleased with how he turned Vraks into a scene of death and decay that he made Mamon a [[Daemon Prince]]. Such is life in the [[grimdark|grim, dark]] future.

{{40k-Planets}}

[[Category:Imperial]]

Ecclesiarchy

2018-05-25T05:48:05Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:C4B5:9D8B:7448:168F:

[[File:Cathedral.jpg|right|thumb|500px|The Imperium spares no expense on its houses of worship, unfortunately we can't say the same about civilian accommodations...]]
{{Topquote|Hence Theocracy is the worst of all governments. If we must have a tyrant, a robber baron is far better than an inquisitor. The baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity at some point may be sated; and since he dimly knows he is doing wrong he may possibly repent. But the inquisitor who mistakes his own cruelty and lust of power and fear for the voice of Heaven will torment us infinitely more because he torments us with the approval of his own conscience and his better impulses appear to him as temptations.|[[C. S. Lewis]]}}

{{Topquote|His natural prejudices assumed the priesthood to fall into a small number of categories: old, mad, dissolute, fanatical or a delightful combination of any of them.|[[Roboute Guilliman]]'s high opinion of Imperial priests.}}

"''Thought for the day: blind faith is a just cause.''"

The Adeptus Ministorum, or '''Ecclesiarchy''', is the state church of the [[Imperium of Man]] and works with the [[Inquisition]], making it ''the'' group which defines [[heresy]]. The name is derived from the Greek ''Ecclesia'', literally meaning Church but more generally "gathering" or "society".

When the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor of Mankind]] began setting up the Imperium, he began instituting the [[Imperial Truth]], which basically said "there are no gods and we're doing materialism and rationalism now" to starve the Chaos Gods of power from human worship. Yet even during the Great Crusade people began worshiping the Emperor as a "God-Emperor", including his own son [[Lorgar]], who wrote the Lectitio Divinatus. Which, ironically, proved effective at causing pain to demons when lines from it were spoken to them (since the Emperor had it backwards; faith and religion didn't give the Chaos Gods power, faith and religion towards ''other things'' besides Chaos actually starved Chaos of power). Suitably embarrassed, the Emperor politely informed Lorgar to stop that... by having the [[Ultramarines]] destroy a city the [[Word Bearers]] set up and then forcing Lorgar to bow down to Himself, [[Malcador the Sigillite]], and [[Roboute Guilliman]] in front of his legion. In an unfathomable and completely-impossible-to-predict act of [[Heresy]], this would lead to Lorgar worshiping the [[Chaos Gods]] and starting the [[Horus Heresy]].

[[File:Activate_Rosariuses!.gif|right|thumb|500px|The Emperor Protects!]]

And Rawbutt Girlyman is back, and he does not like the Ecclesiarchy (though it's their fundamentalism and fondness of luxury that Guilliman has issues with, not so much theism and religion itself; note his permissiveness of the Adeptus Mechanicus and Omnissiah, and his alliance with the Ynnari, agents and an avatar of the Eldar god of death). However the words of Cawl, Celestine and several others have convinced him of its necessity to the Imperium in its current state.

==The Church Itself==

The Ecclesiarchy itself is, officially at least, the one true faith of the God-Emperor. It is the organization dedicated to teaching His truths and His will to the vast masses of humanity, and all are united under it's banner. Therefore, no matter where you go the Imperium, the Cult of The Emperor can be found uniting it's masses under His benevolent rule. The reality, of course, is a bit more complex. The problem is that the Imperium is vast. Like, really vast. So much so that no one really knows how big it is, and an empire that big couldn't even begin to manage a galaxy wide faith. Therefore, what actually happens is that the Church of the God-Emperor is split into many faiths that don't actually resemble each other in any way.

On some worlds, the Emperor is worshiped as a distant father, watching over his children from far away. Others associate Him with a force of nature, believing that the wind is His voice and when He is angry He shouts at them causing great winds. Others assign some sort of totem animal, usually a predatory bird, that is considered sacred in His eyes. Some practice hymns and chants that wouldn't be out of place in our modern age, others prefer ritualistic dances and animal sacrifices. Despite all this varied and at times bizarre forms of faith, one thing is certain; there is only one god, only one Emperor, and they are one and the same.

The Ecclesiarchy attempts to promote and maintain the Cult of The Emperor wherever it can, if it is possible, to shape the local faith into something a bit more orthodox. As such, any planet with an Ecclesiarchal presence will eventually begin to resemble other faiths. Chapels will be built, a hierarchy of priests will emerge (what that hierarchy or even the priests will look like is a different thing altogether), and more extreme or shocking practices slowly weeded out or shaped into different forms. Even human sacrifice is re-purposed for the Emperor's benefit, as a culture that practices such things is much more willing to give up psykers to the Black Ships.

Ironically, this makes the Ecclesiarchy oddly tolerant and open minded as they travel across worlds. They are trained to see past the individual beliefs to examine the core of the faiths they encounter, and therefore are unexpectedly tolerant of opposing sects, where more close minded citizens would be quick to denounce them as heretics and traitors. After all, the Emperor is a wise and benevolent god who loves all his subjects regardless of who they are, and the Ecclesiarchy follows His example.

The one area the Ecclesiarchy tends to butt heads is with the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]]. On the surface, the Cult of the Machine God runs completely counter to worship of the God-Emperor, especially since the Mechanicus' religion predates the Imperial Cult (and the Imperium itself) by a few millenia. However, there is little that the Ecclesiarchy can do about it, since 1. The Treaty of Mars guarantees not only autonomy, but religious exemption to the Mechanicus, and 2. Pissing off the Mechanicus is a bad idea since they control all the ships and tech. Because going to war with half of the Imperium would be monumentally stupid, they came up with a compromise that the Emperor is the physical avatar of the Machine God, bringing the Mechanicus closer in line to the Imperial Cult. This compromise isn't very satisfying for the more extreme fanatics, which can and does form conflict between the institutions beyond the political strife of two powerful organizations arguing over jurisdiction.

Less tense are the relations between the Ecclesiarchy and the [[Adeptus Astartes]]; Most Space Marines, the Black Templars excluded, do not officially embrace the Imperial Cult, having followed the older [[Imperial Truth]] that the Cult eventually supplanted. Instead most view the Emperor as a father figure than as a God. The Ecclesiarchy allows this since, in a manner of speaking, it's true that the Emperor is their father and they're not stupid enough to start a holy war against one of the most powerful military assets the Imperium has to offer; not to mention that few priests have the sheer balls to argue faith with a ten foot tall giant in heavy armor, although anyone else who denies the divinity of the Emperor is fair game. Still, as a show of good faith, the Ecclesiarchy presents [[Rosarius|Rosariuses]] to [[Chaplain]]s to demonstrate the supposed relationship between the Imperial Cult and the ancient spiritual traditions of the Astartes. The only exemption are the Iron Fathers of the [[Iron Hands]], who worship the Machine God of the Mechanicus instead, something that bitterly annoys the Ecclesiarchy.

==Age of Apostasy==

[[File:WOW.jpg|1200px|thumb|left|In the 8th game of the World of Warcraft series, which was the first since the current 8th editions of Warhammer Fantasy and 40K, they also advanced the storyline following the same trend, as we have an official Alliance-Horde war for the first time since Warcraft 3, in total coordination with the real world when long unsettled conflicts, such as the Arab-Israeli war, Grexit, Kim Jong-un, US-China trade war, Fascism emergerging in Europe starting from Italy, Neo-ottomanism, American civil war, Monroe dogma over Nicolas Maduro and Lula and even a volcano in Hawaii erupting, are simultaneously all emerging as if we are truly living in a novel.]]

[[File:FacebookGiotaTsirou.jpg|620px|thumb|right|Panagiota Tsirou, a 200 pound girl of short stature with unnatural agility that is incompatible with the physical boundaries that her obese biological structure should obviously follow, proving that a twisted disfigurement of reality is already existent, unleashing the incomprehensible influence of the warp in ways too unimaginable for anyone to acquaint with its reflections in our ludicrous lives, redefined by overwhelmingly shocking surprises.]]

{{Main|Age of Apostasy}}

After the Emprah was hooked up to the Golden Throne, a "Cult of the Savior Emperor" (more often referred to as the "Imperial Cult", since every Imperial's a member) was set up and eventually became the state religion as the Adeptus Ministorum, declaring the Emperor's very own Imperial Truth as Heresy. Well, more like claiming that the Emperor was trying to protect them through encouraging their ignorance of daemons. After all, declaring the Emperor's laws to be heresy would ''not'' go over well with the Astartes and Custodes.

The Ecclesiarchy was able to seize real political power in the wake of the [[Nova Terra Interregnum]]; after secular politics failed to reunite the twin empires of the Imperium, the Imperial Cult was able to leverage the widespread religious belief in the Emperor to bring Nova Terra back into the fold. However, this did not go smoothly; the Cataclysm of Souls resulted in vast amounts of bloodshed for anyone who rejected the Imperial Cult. This paved the way for the Age of Apostasy, when rival factions within the Imperial Cult battled for control of the church.

The Ecclesiarch, the head of the Ministorum, eventually got on the [[High Lords of Terra]], eventually supplanting the Master of the [[Administratum]] ''(the guy who actually runs the government)'' as head of the Council. To show just how much power they could wield, the Ecclesiarchy moved from Terra to Ophelia VII at great expense, leaving Terra to rot, then moved back once they felt that they made their point.

After that, the Ecclesiarchy did what every powerful group does: become more interested in its own power than the people they're supposed to be ministering, and public funds and taxes ended up funneling their way into the church, religious officials were making decisions on national policy and the like, since the Ecclesiarchy figured that the church and the state should be pretty much the same thing. The Ecclesiarchy also had a standing army called the '''Frateris Templar''' which stood apart from the [[Imperial Guard]], but was presumably bad-ass considering how wealthy the church was at the time.

=== Reign of Blood ===
Things took a major turn for the worse when '''[[Goge Vandire]]''', the Master of the Administratum, became Ecclesiarch at the same time, making himself the single most powerful person in the Imperium and started the Reign of Blood. Even by 40k standards this guy was nutters: He convinced an all-female sect called the "Daughters of the Emperor" ([[Daughters of Terra|No,not them...]]) to rename themselves the "Brides of the Emperor" and become his bodyguards, they were also give the ''"finest weapons and armour"'' that the Administratum and the Ecclesiarchy could provide, which probably meant they were far better equipped than the later Sisters of Battle ever were.

He also instituted big brother policies of having [[Servo-skull]]s on every street corner listening for sedition, and engaged in mass executions/pillaging for the lulz, such as virus bombing planets, enslaving all female civilians of certain planets below the age of 12, melting polar ice caps etc, all the while claiming that he heard the voice of the Emperor himself.

A "rogue" preacher named [[Sebastian Thor]] and his "heretical" sect (the '''Confederation of Light'''), supported by a couple Space Marine Chapters and the Adeptus Mechanicus, went "fuck this" and invaded Terra to remove Vandire from the throne (so to speak). To the surprise of all present (except the Brides/Daughters), the defenders not only held off the invaders, but actually managed to give them a real beating. Before things got out of hand, the Adeptus Custodes took the leader of the Daughters to the Golden Throne to have a chat with the Emperor. She got insanely pissed off by something that happened there and cut off Vandire's head.

===Thorian Reformation===

Afterwards, Thor didn't actually sit still and started travelling the Imperium to put things back together again and preaching the Emperor's good name. Once Terra had recovered, they had only one person in mind for the job of Ecclesiarch: Thor, but he refused to come back until the Imperium [[What|declared him a traitor]] and sent an army to collect him.

Back at the Imperial Palace, the Captain of the Custodes took him aside for a quiet word, and told him that he should either take the job or end up [[Blam|vanished]]. Thus, as the newly appointed Ecclesiarch, Thor started the Thorian Reformation, in which the Temple of the Saviour Emperor was supplanted by Thor's Confederation of Light. The Ecclesiarchy was stripped of all military power and the '''Frateris Templar''' had their funding cut and were reduced to the '''Frateris Militia''' which were not allowed to be paid or trained under the Ecclesiarchy's budget, but, fortunately for them, since they were specifically banned from keeping "''men'' under arms", they [[Rules lawyers|reformed]] the Daughters into the [[Sisters of Battle|Battle Sisters]] of the Adepta Sororitas.

The [[Inquisition]] also set up the [[Witchhunters|Ordo Hereticus]] to make sure no one deviated from these new rules. The reformed Ecclesiarchy is only slightly less corrupt and divorced from reality as it was before, but now they feel guilty and beat themselves (and, unfortunately, everyone they minister to, which means every subjects of the Imperium) up about it! Occasionally, they even try (and fail) to fix it!

==Temple Tendency==

{{Main|Temple Tendency}}

Sadly, some people are still ''particularly'' abusive, and these people are accused of having a "temple tendency." Additionally, there's an ''actual'' heretic group called the Temple Tendency. They believe the Confederation of Light are the ''real'' traitors and (secretly) preach their creed in the hopes of turning back the clock. They employ preachers known as Vandiran Apostates, or Shade Priests, which is a much cooler name than "Confessor."

==Organisation==

At the top of the organisation is the Ecclesiarch himself, who is essentially the '''Space Pope''' and the equal-second (after the Master of the [[Administratum]] and along with the Fabricator-General of [[Mars]]) most influential individual in the entire Imperium.

Beneath him are the '''Cardinals''' of the '''Holy Synod'''. Although there are Cardinals all over the Imperium, each ruling their own Diocese ''(which is the religious equivalent to a '''sector''' in terms of size, but not organised the same way)'' the Holy Synod of Terra has a conclave of Cardinals who assist the Ecclesiarch in making religious decisions. Also, occasionally one of the members of the Holy Synod gets a seat on the [[High Lords of Terra]], which is essentially giving the Ecclesiarchy more influence in Imperial affairs (particularly if the Abbess of the Adepta Sororitas gets a seat at the same time)

Beneath the Cardinals it moves downwards through the varying ranks of preachers, clerics, bishops, vicars, abbots, ministers, confessors all the way down to the the guys who light candles at shrines.

Aside from everyday priesthood there are a number of spin-off organisations that operate under the auspices of the Ecclesiarchy in one way or another.

===Adepta Sororitas===
{{Main|Sisters of Battle}}

While the sisters of battle represent the military might of the Ecclesiarchy the other orders of the sororitas also play highly influential roles for the church.

The '''Order Dialogus''' keeps the records and curates the relics of the Ecclesiarchy and are some of the most well educated and respected people in the entire Imperium when it comes to researching histories, languages or customs.

While the '''Schola Progenium''' trains generations of orphans to become "ideal" Imperial citizens, the '''Order Famulous''' get the job of "attending" the next generation of the Imperial elite. Teaching and educating key figures in Imperial nobility, these individuals grow up to be some of the most devout followers of the Imperial Creed and inevitably strong supporters of the Ecclesiarchy.

===Schola Progenium===
{{Main|Schola Progenium}}

===Frateris Militia===
While the military might of the Ecclesiarchy was heavily curtailed by the '''Decree Passive''' that hasn't actually stopped them from summoning huge amounts of manpower when they need it.

All a cardinal needs to do is point somewhere and say the word "!CRUSADE!," and inevitably people will show up voluntarily in their millions. Most of them will be untrained and ill-equipped, but when it comes to manpower, the Ecclesiarchy can usually rely upon numbers to rival that of the [[Imperial Guard]].

[[Games Workshop]] actually used to have rules for the Frateris Militia waaaay back in the 2nd edition ''Sisters of Battle'' Codex, but they vanished inexplicably, and reappeared briefly as a Troops choice for ''Codex: Witchhunters'' in a White Dwarf trial rules article under the name "Zealots", which could equally have represented [[Redemptionist]]s as well as the Frateris.

They haven't been forgotten though, and FFG published rules for playing one in [[Dark Heresy]], which is a decent way of giving more non-combat oriented careers the basic training in weapons and a few combat talents far earlier than they could have otherwise obtained.

===Crusader Houses===
{{Main|Crusaders}}
A breach of the '''Decree Passive''', Crusaders are professionally trained warrior-monks, equipped with specialist wargear.

[[Crusaders]] are trained in secretive warrior-lodges that are not directly associated with the Ecclesiarchy at all. According to the Codex: Adepta Sororitas the Crusaders associated with the Ministorum are recruited from the "Guard of the Cardinals Crimson". However, this may be a front, as many Crusader Houses are sponsored by the [[Inquisition]], though it is uncertain if the Ecclesiarchy itself actually knows about that. For its part, the [[Inquisition]] deliberately allows the Ecclesiarchy to possess Crusaders in small numbers - there are all manner of uses for having a provable crime always ready to hand that the Ecclesiarchy is guilty of.

Membership is by invitation-only, chosen from those who will make ideal hand-to-hand warriors. Within the house they are deeply immersed in the Imperial Creed and are trained to be perfect bodyguards, putting the well-being of their holy charges ahead of themselves.

===Battle Conclave===
{{Main|Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave}}
Whenever a traveling priest (or sometimes an Inquisitor) wants a little more protection, they can form up an [[Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave]]. Because they can't have too many men due to the Decree passive, many opt instead to go with the scariest, most righteously out-of-their-mind fanatics they can find. Mostly formed from [[Arco-flagellant]]s, Crusaders, and [[Death Cult Assassin]]s, this terrifying force would make anyone think twice about fucking with him.

===Missionarius Galaxia===
Not all of the priests tend shrines or preach at mass. One of the most well known functions of the Ecclesiarchy is bringing religion to the heathen humans beyond the territories of the Imperium.

Most of the missionaries accompany the Imperial Guard as they expand outwards, conquering or reconquering worlds, making certain that those who rebuild afterwards become loyal subjects of the Imperium.

Some Missionaries take it a bit further and don't even travel with Imperial Guard regiments, instead preferring to travel alone to hostile human worlds and bringing the light of the Emperor to them in more peaceful ways. These '''Torchbearers''' are expert survivalists and considerably more resilient than normal Ministorum Priests, having to live and prosper without any back-up at all.

===Confessors & Witch Finders===
Like the [[Inquisition]], the Ecclesiarchy concerns itself with rooting out heresy and apostasy. Unfortunately for the Ecclesiarchy it is not officially sanctioned to do so by the Imperium. However that has not stopped the ministorum from trying.

'''Confessors''' are loud, bombastic and charismatic priests of the Imperial Cult, but are not given specific duties like most members of the priesthood. Instead they are given carte blanche to travel freely from settlement to settlement and "cleanse" them of their sins. Typically by performing rousing soapbox rants about how wicked thoughts make the <s>baby Jesus</s> EMPEROR cry. So people are encouraged to come forward to confess their sins to the confessor where he can decide an appropriate penance for them to clear their consciences. Confessors can be like the 40k equivalent of celebrities, and there is often great anticipation of their arrival in town, and big crowds show up to hear them preach (and probably hear their neighbours salacious confessions too). Sometimes people don't want (or have sins) to confess, so the confessor has to take it a [[RIP AND TEAR|little bit further]] to coax the individual to think hard about their crimes. Usually to the point of the penance afterwards being more merciful than the coaxing itself.

'''Witch Finders''' fulfill much the same function, except are far more pro-active in "finding" sinners but are not necessarily required to be ordained priests, and many of whom are actually [[Inquisitor]]s-in-training. Results can vary in their effectiveness in finding heretics though, since they usually take a religious approach to determining the guilty rather than an investigative approach like normal "sane" people. Some examples of this crazy manner of determining guilt is to lock a suspect in an airlock and evacuate the air for an hour, Or to bury a suspect to his neck in sand and sew their mouth shut and leave them for a week... if they survive then they are deemed a witch and must be incinerated. While this is logically true, since if they survive they MUST be supernatural, it doesn't seem very hopeful for the innocent now does it? At least the Inquisition-proper occasionally gives you some intelligent form of investigation, even if you still die for being innocent.

==Notable Members==
* [[Arch-Confessor Kyrinov]], an Arch-Confessor who uses overt loud-mouthed preaching to conceal the fact that he's a cunning manipulator, often subverting heresies from within.
* [[Uriah Jacobus]], a belligerent old missionary who combines won't stop spreading the word of the Emperor to the darkest parts of the galaxy even though a sane person probably would've retired decades ago.
* [[Cardinal Armandus Helfire]], a bear of a man, Helfire can often be found leading Wars of Faith against Chaos forces near the Eye of Terror. Despite his station, he can often be found living and fighting amongst the soldiers he leads.
*[[Witch Finder Tantalid]]

{{Template:Imperium}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]]

Armageddon

2018-05-25T03:59:07Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:C4B5:9D8B:7448:168F:

[[File:Armageddon.jpg|thumb|right|a typical Tuesday on Armageddon]]
'''Armageddon''' is an Imperial [[Hive World]] in [[Segmentum|Segmentum Solar]]. It is one of the most well-known hive worlds in the galaxy, with an industrial output surpassing that of many [[Forge World|forge worlds]]. As it supplies dozens of worlds with materials and protection, Armageddon is a strategically vital world and is heavily garrisoned. Climate-wise, Armageddon is an ash-filled polluted hellhole. On the main continent there is little more than ash filled deserts, though it's southern regions and the secondary continent have jungles home to carnivorous plants like the Helsrich Monsters. It is home to the [[Armageddon Steel Legion|Steel Legion]], one of the most recognized [[Imperial Guard Regiment]]s in the galaxy and Armageddon was also the location of some of the largest wars in the history of the galaxy, including the Third War for Armageddon which was the largest land and space battle in the history of the Imperium of man, barring none, and the subject of numerous [[fail|failed]] Imperial Assaults during a *small* occurrence called [[The War of The Beast]]. Notably it was also the largest gathering of Space Marine ships in history, including during the [[Siege of Terra]] or the Ullanor Crusade (the latter of which was what led the Emperor to declare Horus his Warmaster).

Speaking of which, it turns out there's a good reason for why the place is an Ork magnet. It turns out that the planet is actually the teleported Ullanor itself, ancestral home of two of the greatest Ork Empires to have ever existed. So, perhaps unknowingly, the Ork's aren't invading. [[Awesome|They're coming home.]]

== First War for Armageddon ==
===The Beginning===
The first war for Armageddon began with a series of [[Chaos]] rebellions in the hive populous as the demon space hulk ''Devourer of Souls'' came out of the warp above the planet. Much of the [[World Eaters]] chaos space marine legion was aboard the hulk, and they made planetfall amid the bloody rebellions, [[RIP AND TEAR|slaughtering all resistance on the main continent]]. Realizing that the main hives were lost, what was left of the loyalist populations on Armageddon retreated to the smaller continent across the sea to regroup and resupply at the small military bases and outposts located there. For a few short weeks while the [[Khorne|Khornate]] hordes busied themselves with sacrificing civilians to summon daemons to bolster their ranks, and the Loyalists used this time to fortify as well as they could, but they had little more to offer their foes than [[Lasgun|flashlights]] and insults. As the Blood God's hordes turned their eyes to the last defenders, now bolstered by daemons and the [[Daemon Prince#Demon Primarch|Daemon Primarch]] [[Angron]] himself. The ragged refugees and soldiers could do little more than pray for deliverance when...

===The Cavalry Arrives===
Out of the fucking blue with no real lore explanation the [[Space Wolves|Vlka Fenryka]] showed up, led by the [[Logan Grimnar|Old Wolf]] himself! The wolves blasted the fuck out of the ''Devourer of Souls'' and made planetfall to help the remaining [[Planetary Defense Force]] and [[Armageddon Steel Legion|Steel Legion]] forces defend the remaining civilians while they awaited the [[Grey Knights|help]] that [[Logan Grimnar|Logan]] had called for. They actually started gaining ground against the World Eaters, until Angron and his [[Awesome|Cruor Praetoria]], his bodyguard of twelve [[Bloodthirster]]s, charged the Imperial line and started [[RIP AND TEAR|chopping up everything that stood between them and Armageddon's south pole]], the [[Grey Knights]] fucking finally showed up to the party. This 'ragged brotherhood' fought Angron and his Bloodthirster posse and won when their brotherhood's Grandmaster was able to banish [[Angron]] after [[Hyperion]] shattered the daemon Primarch's blade. Of the 109 Grey Knights who took to the field, [[Grimdark|13 survived]].

===The Months of Shame===
Following [[Angron]]'s banishment the Wolves and Steel Legion were able to destroy the few Khornate forces that remained. Given that the whole planet had been contaminated by [[chaos]], by the sanction of an [[Inquisition|inquisitor lord]] the remaining population of Armageddon, civilians and soldiers alike, were to be [[Grimdark|sterilized and sent to inquisitorial compounds to be worked to death]], and any Space Wolves who had seen the Grey Knights were to be mindwiped, save for Grimnar. The Space Wolves were not fucking amused. Logan [[RAGE|politely and calmly]] explained to the inquisitor that by punishing the citizens of Armageddon for their heroism and survival, the inquisition were sullying the honor of the men that yet lived and disrespecting the memories of the dead. The inquisitor more or less told Logan to go fuck himself. [[RAGE|The Old Wolf was not amused]]. Shortly after this exchange the refugees and soldier survivors started to mysteriously "disappear" from inquisitorial custody. The inquisition pretty quickly figured out was up and called the Wolves to explain their deeds, but they weren't feeling talkative. The inquisition began firing on any civilian craft leaving the planet, including the ones escorted by the Space Wolves, who blocked the inquisitorial fire, [[Noblebright|first with their void shields and then with the hulls of their ships, but never fired back.]] After months of tense standoffs and passive resistance against the inquisition, the Space Wolves finally got sick of the inquisiton's shit when they destroyed the relic [[Battle Barge]] ''Scramsaex'' and the space vikings started shooting back. Evidently the inquisitor lord thought it was a good idea to be in a void war with [[Logan Grimnar]], a dude who can call on EIGHT battle barges and FUCKING THIRTY strike cruisers. [[Anal_circumference|He was wrong]].

===The End===
After months of the inquisition getting its ass kicked the Inquisitor finally called on every resource he could muster and set off to [[Fenris]] with an entire [[Imperial Navy]] fleet, a [[Grey Knights]] strike cruiser and the entire [[Red Hunters]] chapter fleet. To make a long story short the wolves lost some ships and some men, the inquisition lost a lot of ships and men, and everything ended with [[Logan Grimnar]] teleported onto the Grey Knight's strike Cruiser, killed the inquisitor and Grandmaster, and threw [[Hyperion]] a beating, but was forced to stand down when [[Bjorn]] teleported up into the party and had what is quite possibly the single most "Bjorn" moment ever. Not only did he tell the inquisition to get off his damn lawn, not only did he tell Logan to quit making so much damn noise with his out-of-hand party, Bjorn actually came onto a Fenrisian inquisitor, calling her a "beautiful frost-born maiden" (or some other flowery shit, it's been a couple years since I read ''The Emperor's Gift'', okay?) revealing himself to be a krachety old romantic neckbeard. Everyone was pretty fucking dumbfounded, and the inquisitor was dead, so everybody pretty much went their own way.

[[skub|TLDR: Wolves fought the inquisitors, it was a draw.]]

==Second War for Armageddon==
To make a short story even shorter, the Second War for Armageddon was a massive fucking meatgrinder full of happy orks and pissed off humans. [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]] arrived on the planet with a bunch of Roks and a few billion [[Ork]]s and decided to make things more interesting. Armaggeddon's ruler at the time was a fucker by the name of Herman von Strab. A man so delusionally assured of his own abilities and decisions, Strab ignored every piece of sensible tactical advice given and sent numerically inferior, split focus forces to fight against the uncharacteristically clever ork hordes. Examples of his shittery include deploying a titan legion without any kind of support, resulting in their total defeat. When things really started going south, he evacuated to his private bunker and bombarded his own cities with past-the-use-by-date virus bombs, killing millions of his own people as well as the orks. The planet was only saved due to the actions of a few loyal but disobedient commanders, including [[Commissar Yarrick]], the Old Man himself, who took over and started [[gets shit done|getting shit done]]. Yarrick managed to hold things together with his half-whipped and half-starved forces until the marines arrived to help out. [[Dante|Commander Dante]] arrives with a taskforce to finish the fight. Ghazghkull fucked off to space. Kinda like WWI. All this war did was: create [[Mephiston|Mephiston]] and set the scene for the big war that came after, which brings us to...

[[File:WOW.jpg|1200px|thumb|center|In the 8th game of the World of Warcraft series, which was the first since the current 8th editions of Warhammer Fantasy and 40K, they also advanced the storyline following the same trend, as we have an official Alliance-Horde war for the first time since Warcraft 3, in total coordination with the real world when long unsettled conflicts, such as the Arab-Israeli war, Grexit, Kim Jong-un, US-China trade war, Fascism emergerging in Europe starting from Italy, Neo-ottomanism, American civil war, Monroe dogma over Nicolas Maduro and Lula and even a volcano in Hawaii erupting, are simultaneously all emerging as if we are truly living in a novel.]]

==Third War for Armageddon==
The third war for Armageddon was the biggest land war in the history of the [[Imperium]] and the [[RIP AND TEAR|galaxy's mosh pit]]. FUCKING EVERYONE was there. Well. All the orks and humans anyway. Seriously, all 9 former SM legions were there along with a lot of successors, there were a dozen titan legions and a metric fuckton of guard regiments, along with a few billion Orks. There were more Void Ships and ground forces at the third war for Armageddon than any other war in the history of mankind, surpassing even the Siege of Holy Terra and the Ullanor Crusade (though this has been partially retconned by [[Games Workshop|our overlords]]). Commanding this clusterfuck you had [[Helbrecht|High Marshal Helbrecht]] in charge of the Void Battle, as the [[Black Templars|Templars]] are void specialists and [[Commissar Yarrick]] in overall command on the ground (says a lot about how hardcore Yarrick is that even the Astartes were willing to take orders from this guy). Short story shorter Ghazghkull was annoyed that he had to fuck off to space last time, so he came back with even MORE orks to come back and get Yarrick, though this time the Imperium was prepared and eventually forced a stalemate. [[Derp|Ghazghkull got bored and fucked off to space again]], with Yarrick joining the Templars on an epic road trip to go smite the green fucker, only to be left in the proverbial dust when Gork and Mork intervened on Ghazghkull's behalf. The conflict has kept going ever since, with no sign of slowing down.

Meanwhile, the events of the Gathering Storm ended up putting Armageddon directly in the path of the Blood Crusade- a colossal legion of Khorne Daemons who almost certainly are ready for a second round. Given the recent activity of the other Daemon Primarchs, it's not a stretch to assume that Angron will be involved with this invasion as well. As of Dark Imperium he almost was! The Blood Crusade tried to summon Angron, but the Salamanders managed to muck up the ritual. While the chaos warbands were fighting each other, the orks and the steel legion actually teamed up to banish them on occasion before going back to fighting each other. At this point, half of the planet is now a Daemon World occupied by the forces of [[Khorne]] and [[Tzeentch]] (which as usual are fighting among themselves as well).

{{40k-Timeline}}

{{40k-Planets}}

[[Category:Imperial]]

Eliphas The Inheritor

2018-05-25T02:45:22Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:C4B5:9D8B:7448:168F:

[[File:Eliphas the Inheritor.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Gentlemen, the only competent Chaos Lord <strike> in Dawn of War </strike> ever]]
'''Torquill Eliphas 'the Inheritor'''' (or simply Eliphas) is a Chaos Lord featured in the [[Warhammer 40K]] ''[[Dawn of War]]'' [[/v/|vidya geym]] series. He made his first appearance in ''Dark Crusade'' as the villain protagonist/main villain who [[Dark Apostle|led]] the [[Word Bearers]] legion on Kronus, and surprisingly made a future appearance in ''[[Dawn of War 2]]'' expansion ''Chaos Rising'' as a champion of the [[Black Legion]]. Eliphas is an Ensemble Darkhorse. That means that he's a character who's gained an unexpected level of popularity, as he was intended as a one-shot character. This was due to a number of factors, the most significant being that he was '''badass'''. (He now has his own book, bitches! So yeah. It's [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/hh-inheritor-ebook.html here], set during the Horus Heresy where he tries to open a portal in Kronus. Yeah, really!)

Eliphas was truly an anomaly. In what would become a [[Lord Bale|series]] [[Crull|of]] [[Firaeveus Carron|incompetent]] [[Chaos Lord]]s, he was actually a legitimately cool character. His was a personality of insane zealotry, berserk bloodthirst, dark charisma, and [[Creed|tactical genius]]. He had excellent voice acting, an excellent aesthetic, and also wondrous gameplay. He was without doubt one of the most deadly hero units in all of Dark Crusade, capable of taking down and destroying utterly Gorgutz 'Ead Unter and the Necron Lord (unless he used that Essence of the Nightbringer ability. seriously, Artifacts allow the Necron lord to handily outclass Eliphas, if only by virtue of the Noobcron lord being untargettable during EoN. <s>[[Skub|Fortunately it doesn't last long, he's easy to kite and his damage is pretty shit compared to Eliphas' anyway]].</s>) Keep in mind that this was the time Dawn of War was gaining more RPG traits. He also was loved for his sinister, cruel quips and dickish manners, consistently putting down his enemies not only on the battlefield, but also with his eloquence. He was also the first to imply the Blood Ravens' possible descent from a Traitor Legion, making him incredibly important to the overarching plot arc of the Blood Ravens.

Despite his apparent death in ''Dawn of War: Dark Crusade'', Eliphas' legions of fans did not go unnoticed, and he was brought back as the main villain in the Chaos--themed expansion to ''Dawn of War II: Chaos Rising''. Here is where some people think it all went a bit down hill.

Eliphas was downgraded here from a mighty Chaos Lord into a mere Chaos Champion, under the command of an equally badass Chaos Lord named Araghast, justified concerning that Eliphas LOST in Dark Crusade and the Chaos Gods are not known to reward failure. This new appearance of Eliphas did away with the character's badass helmet and voice. Paul Dobson was replaced with [[Steve Blum]] due to the former also being the voice actor for Gabriel Angelos, [[What|even though the latter is the voice of Cyrus]]. Steve Blum's voice acting was excellent all the same and many consider him equal to Paul or indeed, surpassing him. However, others feel that the voice didn't need to be changed and were disappointed. Some fans felt alienated and when Eliphas was defeated yet again, and decided to look to Araghast himself as Eliphas' successor. Ultimately, Eliphas was less well received in Chaos Rising and a percentage of his fanbase were disillusioned with the character. It was also implied in the end that Eliphas in fact served the [[Abaddon|the most despised Chaos Lord ever to serve the Name of Chaos]]. This evoked [[Skub|the expected response]].

But that changed with Retribution, where Eliphas was given Terminator armour and was made a playable character again. Here, he was once again the single most powerful melee combatant in the game and could now get DAEMON SWORDS. He was also given some of the best writing and truly seemed like the brutal evil warlord he always used to be. Unfortunately, he had to suck up to Abaddon again, but hey. What did you want him to do? Spout out every reason why he's a failure to his face? [[Games Workshop]] would throw a bitchfit.

So yeah, people are generally divided on what to think of Eliphas, but most agree that he's a complete badass. Probably the most iconic character in the game, second only to Angelos.

==Horus Heresy==
-''"Why do you call him “Inheritor”?"''

-''"It is how he came by the rank of Chapter Master," Yoth replied with a bitter laugh. "During the Purge, he slew the previous leader of the Ark of Testimony, and took his place. Lorgar did not elevate him, saying only that he had ''inherited'' his command. He never earned his place, and we will never let him forget it."

''A Word Bearer telling the tale of how Eliphas came by his title of 'the Inheritor'.''

AND NOW HE'S CANON! It remains to seen whether the book ''Inheritor'' is simply a nod to Eliphas' videogame awesomeness or if this is a sign that he may be promoted to playing a bigger role in the setting (wouldn't be first time that's happened), but we can hope!

The story itself fleshes his character out a bit. Turns out he has massive Daddy issues, and wants to burn the Imperium so [[Lorgar]] will finally notice him.

== Dark Crusade ==
[[File:Eliphas up close.jpg|400px|thumbnail|left|Imperial maggots of the Emperor, I will savor their destruction!]]
Eliphas was known to be already present on Kronus during the events of Horus Heresy, where he participated in a battle against the Ultramarines as a young champion (Lord Eliphas, fresh from his victory in Aurelia, recently told the full details of this defeat; it turns out that he was stuck from behind accidentally by a retarded Ultramarine named Cornelius; who was elevated to sergeant for this act. Cornelius, to this day, has never once more been promoted). When the Word Bearers were routed by the Ultrafags, he was damned to the Basilica of Torments and returned to the mortal plane after a thousand years of torment as a mighty and terrible Chaos Lord of the Word Bearers and brought others under his warband.

Later, during the opening phases of the Dark Crusade, Eliphas and the Word Bearers were summoned back to Kronus by a Chaos cult at the Third Temple of Black Succession in the far south of the Deimos Peninsula. This cabal had turned to Chaos in light of their experiences with the recent rise of the Necrons on Kronus, and Eliphas had answered. Using the knowledge gained from The Book of the Epistles of Lorgar, their leader Virgilius planned to bring Eliphas to Kronus. On the eighth night of their visit to the Temple, Virgilius led them to the great chamber at the temple's heart, where he and eight of his cultists were sacrificed on an icon of Chaos. The Warp opened between the points of the eight-pointed star and Eliphas stepped forth, heralding the beginning of the Ninth Inheritance. Thus, presumably, we have an idea on how he got his name. Eliphas' objective is slaughter the other powers on the planet in glorification of Khorne and bring it under his thrall as a daemon world.

Throughout the campaign he has the following opportunities to get even closer to the Dark Gods: He gets even more favour with the Blood God by assraping the Orks and giving the big guy their skulls along with that of [[Crull]]'s, Slaanesh's by busting open Eldar soulstones so that the hermaphroditic freak can have a late night snack, Papa Nurgle's by releasing a Great Unclean One from captivity, and Tzeentch's by pwning all the Motherfucking Necrons. Somehow, he can even get the favour of Abaddon if he fucks up the blood ravens (maybe Abaddon was watching and decide that he has wonderful arms...you know) and the favour of the Word Bearers' primarch Lorgar by raping the Tau (because he hates the atheistic weeaboo communists even more than /tg/ and that's saying something).

Since the canon winners of Dark Crusade are the Blood Ravens, how much he actually accomplished is up to debate, though due to his closeness to Khorne, we can assume he at least retrieved Crull's skull from Gorgutz in a skirmish or something. In the end, however, Eliphas was defeated by Davian Thule and his Blood Magpies and was judged by Daemon Prince into oblivion.

[[File:FacebookGiotaTsirou.jpg|620px|thumb|left|Panagiota Tsirou, a 200 pound girl of short stature with unnatural agility that is incompatible with the physical boundaries that her obese biological structure should obviously follow, proving that a twisted disfigurement of reality is already existent, unleashing the incomprehensible influence of the warp in ways too unimaginable for anyone to acquaint with its reflections in our ludicrous lives, redefined by overwhelmingly shocking surprises.]]

== Chaos Rising ==
As a result of his unexpected popularity, Eliphas returns in Chaos Rising. He fights as a champion for the Black Legion against the Blood Ravens in Aurelia, having been brought back to life by bargaining his way from the Warp and just fighting his way out in other segments. Like a true badass out of hell. He then joins forces with [[Araghast the Pillager]] and serves as his second-in-command. Only to [[Sindri Myr|SSSSINNNNDRRRIII]] his new master when he runs afoul of Force Commander Hair-Gel and his merry band of Hair-atics. Despite this apparent badassery, Eliphas was defeated by the Blood Ravens anyway during their attack on Keep Selanon, despite being the most fucking hard to kill boss in the game aside from Martellus (FFFFFUUUUUU!!!) and Ulkair (MOTHERFUUUU!!!). He shares the horrendous amount of summons with Martellus, replacing havoc squads with bullshit amounts of bloodletters, and is accompanied by doombolt spewers that absolutely rape anything that's not [[Tarkus]]/wearing terminator armor.

He's later seen in the Judgement of Carrion, speaking to a strangely armed Abaddon. Though behind the scenes footage reveals that another Chaos terminator was in fact behind Abaddon serving as his arms. Eliphas swears to Abaddon that we will destroy the Blood Ravens. Depending on whether you think he was trying to set the prologue for the Blood Ravens to destroy themselves in a civil war or simply to outright destroy the sub-sector; Eliphas could arguably have succeeded here or come close to it.

== Retribution ==
[[Image:RetributionEliphas2.jpg|thumb|right|275px|Eliphas back to being his awesome old self again...still needs a helmet though.]]

Eliphas apparently channels the spirit of Araghast's badassness in this expansion. His voice has grown angrier and he seems to exhibit some Blood Knight tendencies. He gets the one liners we all know and love from Dark Crusade back too. He also screams, 'BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!' very often, implying he's gravitating to Khorne (or just the gigantic boner Relic have for Khorne). Yes, it seemed as if Eliphas was finally back to his old self...

Of course, that's before he starts sucking the minuscule cock of Failaddon. Yeah, that's right. Abaddon is in this game. With a VA no less. He sounds like if Araghast has his massive balls torn off, but hey, what did we expect from Failaddon. His only purpose in the game is to whinge at you, and screech about how he wants Kyras dead. And that's because if Kyras sacrifices the Blood Ravens, he'll become a Warmaster of Chaos and a Daemon Prince. Realizing that his own incompetence shall avail him naught against a [[C.S.Goto|Librarian Devotee of Khorne]], he enlists/blackmails Eliphas into his service, who is no doubt unaware of the armlessness. However, many people have chalked up Eliphas' subordination to Abaddon as politeness. After all, we all feel a shred of sympathy for Abaddon. Even 10,000 year old, bloodthirsty humanoid abominations who fanatically worship All-Powerful Gods of Evil and who wield mighty weapons not intended for the hands of noble, right thinking men.

Even so, Eliphas is simply so much fun to play in this expansion. Hell yeah, specc him out as a Champion of Khorne with fully upgraded sweeping doom, spend all remaining points in Nurgle, point and kill. Switch on Sweeping Doom on a horde, hell yeah, everything dies. Additionally, upon becoming a Champion of Khorne, that alone causes him to outdamage both Diomedes and Bluddflag (note that a fully upgraded To Victory does more damage than Sweeping Doom, but is harder to aim across multiple units). Speccing the rest of your points as Nurgle turns Eliphas into an unstoppable rape-machine that makes those two look like simpering pansies. (Note that spending one point on Tzeentch turns your heretics into walking batteries for energy, which means infinite zeal for Kain and the ability to spam infection and accelerate metabolism for Varius, but costs you the awesome power-booster that is the Khornate shrine.) And then, when you get Eliphas a Daemon Sword, well, given the tremendously high damage he'll do with it, and from his auras, and his health leeching, any attempt to face him in combat will be met with said person being torn to bloody shreds in under a second. Let us simply say that; Eliphas is a badass.

He starts out in Typhon hunting Thule, he tracks the old bastard Dreadnaught down and takes him out to some rather badass exchange. Killing Davian Thule is however, the most emotionally crippling thing in the campaign. :( Well that, and not finding a Daemon Sword or a helmet. He goes after Kyras, killing copious amounts of shit and then takes the big-ass Daemon Prince down. Taking some time to make Kyras bow before him first before banishing him to the void. He then ascends to Daemonhood and kills the Inquisitorial forces in Aurelia. After sacrificing the Blood Ravens to Abaddon and the entire sector to Khorne.

Excellent campaign, excellent ending. Especially the implication that once he's done with Kyras, Abaddon is next. See, Eliphas has a <s>bad</s> good habit of SINDRI-ing his superiors. Though, we use the word 'superiors' loosely, given that this Failbaddon the Armless of whom we speak.

He seems to have been nerfed somewhat as of the latest patch, even on easy units can routinely survive sweeping doom, hurt badly but still alive. He no longer has superheavy infantry armor, and can be shot to death in the face of massive dakka. Vehicles and monsters give no fucks about sweeping doom and laugh off non-maul weapons. You can rectify this somewhat by getting the flaming skull and going full Khornate, as a single barrage will shave huge chunks of HP off just about anything, letting you beat it down the rest of the way. Optimally, Kain/Varius should really be pulling anti-tank duty while Neroth and Eliphas roll around in melted enemy infantry.

He's also fairly slow unless you take the Tzeentch path. Which is unfortunate as the Tzeentch path is mostly mobility and debuff powers and you only have ten points to spend unless you get a mod to rectify this. Getting said mod is recommended as it ups the campaign to eleven and lets you try out interesting abilities usually passed up for the more effective builds.

He's still awesome as all hell, but he can't quite match the hilarity of Diomedes's TWO VICTOREH (which covers a big line, albeit not to sweeping doom levels, and sends infantry gibs out of the skybox), a [[Steel Rain|jump pack]], heals per hit ability, and vehicle raping thunder hammer.

== Trivia ==
[[File:Eliphas the inheritor.png|400px|thumbnail|right|You didn't truly expect to stop the forces of Chaos?]]
*He seems to be suffering from a severe case of throat cancer as his voice constantly changes tone.
*His Daemon Prince (treated as a piece of wargear due to how the engine is set up) is a bit of a mixed bag, and under most circumstances you probably don't want it. Daemon Princehood is the worst wargear in the campaign if you're not playing on hard mode, and in most respects is actually a ''downgrade'' in terms of both abilities, offensive and defensive power that will lead to him getting stomped by stuff he could take as a Chaos Lord. He loses his most useful secondary effect (upgraded Chaos Lord Eliphas provides constant morale drain; Daemon Prince Eliphas does not). And his stats are all kinds of wonky between the two phases on different difficulties:
**For Dark Crusade/Soulstorm campaign modes, the player is stupidly OP on easy mode and is at default PvP strength on Hard mode. This is reflected in Eliphas's Chaos Lord form but strangely not his Daemon Prince form. On all difficulties, Daemon Prince Eliphas gets 5000 HP (compared to the normal 2900 in chaos lord form on Hard), morale damage that can instantly break any non-fearless nearby infantry, and he also disrupts massed infantry. All this with damage output effective against everything and daemon armor, some of the highest around. He swings both faster and harder than his mortal form, as well as gaining immunity to morale damage. Just watch out for Nightbringer Necron Lords, who will eat you alive. But on normal and below? Chaos Lord Eliphas does that much damage just by himself and has more than 5000 HP.
*Prior to Dawn of War III, he had equal appearances with Gorgutz and was the only evil character to return from the original DoW series in DoW II. Now, however, Gorgutz' return in DoW III has put an end to both trends... for the time being.
*He's either named after the first man to commit murder and to be executed in the state of New Hampshire, or some French Occultist.
**In Dark Crusade, Eliphas had two Sorcerer underlings, Amphion and Zathus. The two men who created his portal to the Warp in his stronghold and the Warp bomb he would have used to blow up the Necrons, they are named after legendary twins from Greek mythology.
*Ironically considering his origins as an undivided lord, speccing him out as Khorne is the only way to make him effective in the campaign unless you specifically intend to fuck around with the options the other options offer (and they lack the balls-out melee punch of the former). Speccing him out as Khorne makes him more effective a combatant than every other melee campaign hero put together. This is rather fitting, seeing as how Eliphas roars out; 'Blood for the Blood God!" and "Skulls for the Skull Throne!" very often during gameplay. He has been nerfed a bit though while heroes like Diomedes and Bluddflagg got buffed. Be aware that he has lost his superheavy armor type and sweeping doom has been toned down somewhat damage wise.
*Speccing him out as Khorne not only makes him the most damaging unit in the game, it also makes him into the most successful troll in the game aside from that asshole, Kyras. Any unit hitting him will become consumed with RAGE and start hitting each other. Using the Berzerk ability on Eliphas will also cause everyone else to become FUCKANGRY.
* Evidence from Retribution and Dawn of War: Dark Crusade show that Eliphas serves Khorne above all the other Chaos Gods. The proof for this is that, Khorne is the only Chaos God he invokes by name (along with Tzeentch) and generally acts pretty Khornate. He likes fighting and killing more than regular Chaos Lords and gets angry pretty quickly.[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DJCii1NAYw He also invokes Khorne more than the other Chaos Gods.] It is finally proved in Retribution, where he literally screams the infamous 'Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne!' warcry regardless of whichever specialization you give him and generally keeps invoking Khorne at the exclusion of every other God except Slaanesh when killing Eldar, and Nurgle, when he tells their followers to fuck off. And he's not respectful in either instance. He also has this frightening fixation on bleeding his enemies out, as is noticed in the first Chaos mission.
*Spends every Friday night with his friends prank calling Shas'O Kais, unaware that the confused Tau is only getting static. Everybody's phone bill goes up- nobody wins.
*Eliphas can be given a permanent helmet in DoWII Retribution via a very well done and easy to install mod. http://www.mediafire.com/file/8uuu264d6ru996k/EliphasHelmet.sga. You can give me a blowjob later.
* He is definitely <s>Belgian</s> Space Belgian.
* His voiced from Chaos Rising and onwards is provided by Steve Blum, who also voices a certain Transformer called "Starscream". That explains the backstabbing tendencies. Steve only started doing that character ''after'' Chaos Rising though.
* That same man does the voice of Wolverine, also. Eliphas basically sounds like a British Wolverine when he gets angry in Retribution now. This explains Eliphas' newfound heights of [[Khorne|aggression]].

==Memorable Quotations==

*"''Chaos moves at its own pace, alien. Not yours.''" - Eliphas telling off [[Gorgutz]] for complaining about him not killing him fast enough.

*"'''BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!'''" - Eliphas, channeling Araghast's badassness.

*"'''SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!'''" - Because <s>Khorne > Every other Chaos God.</s> [[WAAAGH|overused battlecries]] are overused.

*"''Do not be so quick to make foolish offers, Daemon. Araghast too once thought I would be an asset to his cause. Look to what has become of him.''" - Eliphas being a '''BADASS MOTHERFUCKER'''.

*"''You wish to honor Lord Nurgle? THEN DO SO FROM THE GRAVE!''" - Eliphas, upon slaughtering a coven of Nurglite guardsmen, also is funny because decomposition joke.

*"''YOU FIGHT FOR NOTHING, YOU ARE NOTHING!''" - Eliphas, upon [[awesome|soloing a '''Land Raider''']].

*"''Observe, brothers. Observe how Space Marines choose to die, and how little choice they have in the matter. Come Davian, we have unfinished business!''" - Eliphas, just about to kill Davian Thule, the bastard.

*"''Oh, Davian, He cannot hear you.''" - Eliphas upon killing Davian Thule. The bastard.

*"'''THE ETERNAL WAR ENDS FOR YOU THIS DAY!!'''" - Eliphas, out-Khornate-ing a an <s>Black</s> <s>Alpha</s> Black Legion (<s>what in the fucking eleven circles of hell would make you think that the deranged chaos champion was from the Alpha legion?</s> <s>Perhaps because he bore Alpha Legion colours?</s> (Nonsensical rambling, no legion like that ever existed) Chaos Champion, while Typhon was getting the shit blown out of it. Said Champion died in one hit.

*"'''WHY DOES ANYTHING THINK I CAN BE KILLED!?!'''" - Eliphas, shrugging off bolter fire and in the mood for some rape.

*"''Such inspiring courage! Perhaps we'll mount your corpse on a golden chair and make an idol out of you as well.''" - The quote that solidified Eliphas' popularity amongst the Imperium hating Heretics.

*"''An ambush, we are finished! /sarcasm''" - Eliphas mocks the Blood Raven's unmanly attempts to kill him while also being sarcastic. Oddly enough, most people who hear this line miss the obvious sarcasm. Which can lead you to suspect that most people are monkeys.

*"''Then I won't lie to you brother. You have been lied to enough''." - Eliphas, to Thule.

*"''No coward has ever remained hidden from the Black Legion! I will relish in your soul's eternal suffering!''" - Eliphas expresses his idealized view of the Black Legion whilst calling Kyras' a faggot and calling him out to some FIGHTAN.

*"''CAN YOU WEAKLINGS NOT FIGHT ANY BETTER?!''" - Can YOU scream this to an on-rushing army of Orks after having slaughtered their Warboss? No, you can't.

*"'''These are the Blood Ravens; finest slaves of the Dead Emperor. We owe them ''much'' more than a quick death.'''" - Eliphas, alluding to how he shall rape the Blood Ravens.

*"''Yesss... Come into my home, Taldeer.''" - Eliphas killed the Vindicare Assassin and raped Taldeer. Truth.

*"''The people here have already accepted the Black Testament. So will you.''" - Eliphas is a religious badass. Far moar so than any SPESSH MEHREEN.

*"''Come! See the Faith of my Crusaders, they shall soon cleanse you of your disbelief.''"

*"''Well done! You have come further in this blessed land than I ever thought! Lord Khorne shall drink your blood from the very soil!''"

*"'''IN BATTLE, WE ALL HONOUR KHORNE!!!'''" - Eliphas always did worship Khorne above all the other Gods.

*"''Kill any [[Orks|xenos]] and take what you need. Their pitiful souls will do little to sate the Chaos gods, but '''oh, how they bleed'''."'' - Eliphas once again showing his preference for Khorne and busting a sweet rhyme at the same time.

*"''You cannot impede the Black Inheritance.''" - Eliphas, unlike a [[Abaddon|certain other Chaos Lord who's first name is Ezekyle]], has a reason for his title.

*"''No...that cannot be so...''" - Eliphas when responding to the Necron Lord of Kronus telling him of the coming (shit) storm of [[Matt Ward]].

*"''Alien, you come to your death''" - Eliphas to O-Kais, not knowing [[Tau]] having no presence in the warp means that O-Kais thinks it's just static.

*"''Wonder instead how we could have ever trusted one such as him."'' - Eliphas to Thule after Thule says how could the Emperor have ever trusted the Word Bearers, and Eliphas is actually avoiding the question by that comment.

*''"Send my regards to Slaanesh, Eldar!"'' - Eliphas, showing those [[Eldar|pansy fucks]] right to Slaanesh's palace.

*"''[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Hey Corpse-Emperor, furk you.]]"'' - In a letter to the Emperor, shortly before getting psychically punched from halfway across the galaxy.

{{Template:Chaos-Marines}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Chaos]][[Category:Space Marines]][[Category: Dawn of War]]

Eliphas The Inheritor

2018-05-25T02:45:04Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:C4B5:9D8B:7448:168F:

[[File:Eliphas the Inheritor.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Gentlemen, the only competent Chaos Lord <strike> in Dawn of War </strike> ever]]
'''Torquill Eliphas 'the Inheritor'''' (or simply Eliphas) is a Chaos Lord featured in the [[Warhammer 40K]] ''[[Dawn of War]]'' [[/v/|vidya geym]] series. He made his first appearance in ''Dark Crusade'' as the villain protagonist/main villain who [[Dark Apostle|led]] the [[Word Bearers]] legion on Kronus, and surprisingly made a future appearance in ''[[Dawn of War 2]]'' expansion ''Chaos Rising'' as a champion of the [[Black Legion]]. Eliphas is an Ensemble Darkhorse. That means that he's a character who's gained an unexpected level of popularity, as he was intended as a one-shot character. This was due to a number of factors, the most significant being that he was '''badass'''. (He now has his own book, bitches! So yeah. It's [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/hh-inheritor-ebook.html here], set during the Horus Heresy where he tries to open a portal in Kronus. Yeah, really!)

Eliphas was truly an anomaly. In what would become a [[Lord Bale|series]] [[Crull|of]] [[Firaeveus Carron|incompetent]] [[Chaos Lord]]s, he was actually a legitimately cool character. His was a personality of insane zealotry, berserk bloodthirst, dark charisma, and [[Creed|tactical genius]]. He had excellent voice acting, an excellent aesthetic, and also wondrous gameplay. He was without doubt one of the most deadly hero units in all of Dark Crusade, capable of taking down and destroying utterly Gorgutz 'Ead Unter and the Necron Lord (unless he used that Essence of the Nightbringer ability. seriously, Artifacts allow the Necron lord to handily outclass Eliphas, if only by virtue of the Noobcron lord being untargettable during EoN. <s>[[Skub|Fortunately it doesn't last long, he's easy to kite and his damage is pretty shit compared to Eliphas' anyway]].</s>) Keep in mind that this was the time Dawn of War was gaining more RPG traits. He also was loved for his sinister, cruel quips and dickish manners, consistently putting down his enemies not only on the battlefield, but also with his eloquence. He was also the first to imply the Blood Ravens' possible descent from a Traitor Legion, making him incredibly important to the overarching plot arc of the Blood Ravens.

Despite his apparent death in ''Dawn of War: Dark Crusade'', Eliphas' legions of fans did not go unnoticed, and he was brought back as the main villain in the Chaos--themed expansion to ''Dawn of War II: Chaos Rising''. Here is where some people think it all went a bit down hill.

Eliphas was downgraded here from a mighty Chaos Lord into a mere Chaos Champion, under the command of an equally badass Chaos Lord named Araghast, justified concerning that Eliphas LOST in Dark Crusade and the Chaos Gods are not known to reward failure. This new appearance of Eliphas did away with the character's badass helmet and voice. Paul Dobson was replaced with [[Steve Blum]] due to the former also being the voice actor for Gabriel Angelos, [[What|even though the latter is the voice of Cyrus]]. Steve Blum's voice acting was excellent all the same and many consider him equal to Paul or indeed, surpassing him. However, others feel that the voice didn't need to be changed and were disappointed. Some fans felt alienated and when Eliphas was defeated yet again, and decided to look to Araghast himself as Eliphas' successor. Ultimately, Eliphas was less well received in Chaos Rising and a percentage of his fanbase were disillusioned with the character. It was also implied in the end that Eliphas in fact served the [[Abaddon|the most despised Chaos Lord ever to serve the Name of Chaos]]. This evoked [[Skub|the expected response]].

But that changed with Retribution, where Eliphas was given Terminator armour and was made a playable character again. Here, he was once again the single most powerful melee combatant in the game and could now get DAEMON SWORDS. He was also given some of the best writing and truly seemed like the brutal evil warlord he always used to be. Unfortunately, he had to suck up to Abaddon again, but hey. What did you want him to do? Spout out every reason why he's a failure to his face? [[Games Workshop]] would throw a bitchfit.

So yeah, people are generally divided on what to think of Eliphas, but most agree that he's a complete badass. Probably the most iconic character in the game, second only to Angelos.

==Horus Heresy==
-''"Why do you call him “Inheritor”?"''

-''"It is how he came by the rank of Chapter Master," Yoth replied with a bitter laugh. "During the Purge, he slew the previous leader of the Ark of Testimony, and took his place. Lorgar did not elevate him, saying only that he had ''inherited'' his command. He never earned his place, and we will never let him forget it."

''A Word Bearer telling the tale of how Eliphas came by his title of 'the Inheritor'.''

AND NOW HE'S CANON! It remains to seen whether the book ''Inheritor'' is simply a nod to Eliphas' videogame awesomeness or if this is a sign that he may be promoted to playing a bigger role in the setting (wouldn't be first time that's happened), but we can hope!

The story itself fleshes his character out a bit. Turns out he has massive Daddy issues, and wants to burn the Imperium so [[Lorgar]] will finally notice him.

== Dark Crusade ==
[[File:Eliphas up close.jpg|400px|thumbnail|left|Imperial maggots of the Emperor, I will savor their destruction!]]
Eliphas was known to be already present on Kronus during the events of Horus Heresy, where he participated in a battle against the Ultramarines as a young champion (Lord Eliphas, fresh from his victory in Aurelia, recently told the full details of this defeat; it turns out that he was stuck from behind accidentally by a retarded Ultramarine named Cornelius; who was elevated to sergeant for this act. Cornelius, to this day, has never once more been promoted). When the Word Bearers were routed by the Ultrafags, he was damned to the Basilica of Torments and returned to the mortal plane after a thousand years of torment as a mighty and terrible Chaos Lord of the Word Bearers and brought others under his warband.

Later, during the opening phases of the Dark Crusade, Eliphas and the Word Bearers were summoned back to Kronus by a Chaos cult at the Third Temple of Black Succession in the far south of the Deimos Peninsula. This cabal had turned to Chaos in light of their experiences with the recent rise of the Necrons on Kronus, and Eliphas had answered. Using the knowledge gained from The Book of the Epistles of Lorgar, their leader Virgilius planned to bring Eliphas to Kronus. On the eighth night of their visit to the Temple, Virgilius led them to the great chamber at the temple's heart, where he and eight of his cultists were sacrificed on an icon of Chaos. The Warp opened between the points of the eight-pointed star and Eliphas stepped forth, heralding the beginning of the Ninth Inheritance. Thus, presumably, we have an idea on how he got his name. Eliphas' objective is slaughter the other powers on the planet in glorification of Khorne and bring it under his thrall as a daemon world.

Throughout the campaign he has the following opportunities to get even closer to the Dark Gods: He gets even more favour with the Blood God by assraping the Orks and giving the big guy their skulls along with that of [[Crull]]'s, Slaanesh's by busting open Eldar soulstones so that the hermaphroditic freak can have a late night snack, Papa Nurgle's by releasing a Great Unclean One from captivity, and Tzeentch's by pwning all the Motherfucking Necrons. Somehow, he can even get the favour of Abaddon if he fucks up the blood ravens (maybe Abaddon was watching and decide that he has wonderful arms...you know) and the favour of the Word Bearers' primarch Lorgar by raping the Tau (because he hates the atheistic weeaboo communists even more than /tg/ and that's saying something).

Since the canon winners of Dark Crusade are the Blood Ravens, how much he actually accomplished is up to debate, though due to his closeness to Khorne, we can assume he at least retrieved Crull's skull from Gorgutz in a skirmish or something. In the end, however, Eliphas was defeated by Davian Thule and his Blood Magpies and was judged by Daemon Prince into oblivion.

[[File:FacebookGiotaTsirou.jpg|620px|thumb|right|Panagiota Tsirou, a 200 pound girl of short stature with unnatural agility that is incompatible with the physical boundaries that her obese biological structure should obviously follow, proving that a twisted disfigurement of reality is already existent, unleashing the incomprehensible influence of the warp in ways too unimaginable for anyone to acquaint with its reflections in our ludicrous lives, redefined by overwhelmingly shocking surprises.]]

== Chaos Rising ==
As a result of his unexpected popularity, Eliphas returns in Chaos Rising. He fights as a champion for the Black Legion against the Blood Ravens in Aurelia, having been brought back to life by bargaining his way from the Warp and just fighting his way out in other segments. Like a true badass out of hell. He then joins forces with [[Araghast the Pillager]] and serves as his second-in-command. Only to [[Sindri Myr|SSSSINNNNDRRRIII]] his new master when he runs afoul of Force Commander Hair-Gel and his merry band of Hair-atics. Despite this apparent badassery, Eliphas was defeated by the Blood Ravens anyway during their attack on Keep Selanon, despite being the most fucking hard to kill boss in the game aside from Martellus (FFFFFUUUUUU!!!) and Ulkair (MOTHERFUUUU!!!). He shares the horrendous amount of summons with Martellus, replacing havoc squads with bullshit amounts of bloodletters, and is accompanied by doombolt spewers that absolutely rape anything that's not [[Tarkus]]/wearing terminator armor.

He's later seen in the Judgement of Carrion, speaking to a strangely armed Abaddon. Though behind the scenes footage reveals that another Chaos terminator was in fact behind Abaddon serving as his arms. Eliphas swears to Abaddon that we will destroy the Blood Ravens. Depending on whether you think he was trying to set the prologue for the Blood Ravens to destroy themselves in a civil war or simply to outright destroy the sub-sector; Eliphas could arguably have succeeded here or come close to it.

== Retribution ==
[[Image:RetributionEliphas2.jpg|thumb|right|275px|Eliphas back to being his awesome old self again...still needs a helmet though.]]

Eliphas apparently channels the spirit of Araghast's badassness in this expansion. His voice has grown angrier and he seems to exhibit some Blood Knight tendencies. He gets the one liners we all know and love from Dark Crusade back too. He also screams, 'BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!' very often, implying he's gravitating to Khorne (or just the gigantic boner Relic have for Khorne). Yes, it seemed as if Eliphas was finally back to his old self...

Of course, that's before he starts sucking the minuscule cock of Failaddon. Yeah, that's right. Abaddon is in this game. With a VA no less. He sounds like if Araghast has his massive balls torn off, but hey, what did we expect from Failaddon. His only purpose in the game is to whinge at you, and screech about how he wants Kyras dead. And that's because if Kyras sacrifices the Blood Ravens, he'll become a Warmaster of Chaos and a Daemon Prince. Realizing that his own incompetence shall avail him naught against a [[C.S.Goto|Librarian Devotee of Khorne]], he enlists/blackmails Eliphas into his service, who is no doubt unaware of the armlessness. However, many people have chalked up Eliphas' subordination to Abaddon as politeness. After all, we all feel a shred of sympathy for Abaddon. Even 10,000 year old, bloodthirsty humanoid abominations who fanatically worship All-Powerful Gods of Evil and who wield mighty weapons not intended for the hands of noble, right thinking men.

Even so, Eliphas is simply so much fun to play in this expansion. Hell yeah, specc him out as a Champion of Khorne with fully upgraded sweeping doom, spend all remaining points in Nurgle, point and kill. Switch on Sweeping Doom on a horde, hell yeah, everything dies. Additionally, upon becoming a Champion of Khorne, that alone causes him to outdamage both Diomedes and Bluddflag (note that a fully upgraded To Victory does more damage than Sweeping Doom, but is harder to aim across multiple units). Speccing the rest of your points as Nurgle turns Eliphas into an unstoppable rape-machine that makes those two look like simpering pansies. (Note that spending one point on Tzeentch turns your heretics into walking batteries for energy, which means infinite zeal for Kain and the ability to spam infection and accelerate metabolism for Varius, but costs you the awesome power-booster that is the Khornate shrine.) And then, when you get Eliphas a Daemon Sword, well, given the tremendously high damage he'll do with it, and from his auras, and his health leeching, any attempt to face him in combat will be met with said person being torn to bloody shreds in under a second. Let us simply say that; Eliphas is a badass.

He starts out in Typhon hunting Thule, he tracks the old bastard Dreadnaught down and takes him out to some rather badass exchange. Killing Davian Thule is however, the most emotionally crippling thing in the campaign. :( Well that, and not finding a Daemon Sword or a helmet. He goes after Kyras, killing copious amounts of shit and then takes the big-ass Daemon Prince down. Taking some time to make Kyras bow before him first before banishing him to the void. He then ascends to Daemonhood and kills the Inquisitorial forces in Aurelia. After sacrificing the Blood Ravens to Abaddon and the entire sector to Khorne.

Excellent campaign, excellent ending. Especially the implication that once he's done with Kyras, Abaddon is next. See, Eliphas has a <s>bad</s> good habit of SINDRI-ing his superiors. Though, we use the word 'superiors' loosely, given that this Failbaddon the Armless of whom we speak.

He seems to have been nerfed somewhat as of the latest patch, even on easy units can routinely survive sweeping doom, hurt badly but still alive. He no longer has superheavy infantry armor, and can be shot to death in the face of massive dakka. Vehicles and monsters give no fucks about sweeping doom and laugh off non-maul weapons. You can rectify this somewhat by getting the flaming skull and going full Khornate, as a single barrage will shave huge chunks of HP off just about anything, letting you beat it down the rest of the way. Optimally, Kain/Varius should really be pulling anti-tank duty while Neroth and Eliphas roll around in melted enemy infantry.

He's also fairly slow unless you take the Tzeentch path. Which is unfortunate as the Tzeentch path is mostly mobility and debuff powers and you only have ten points to spend unless you get a mod to rectify this. Getting said mod is recommended as it ups the campaign to eleven and lets you try out interesting abilities usually passed up for the more effective builds.

He's still awesome as all hell, but he can't quite match the hilarity of Diomedes's TWO VICTOREH (which covers a big line, albeit not to sweeping doom levels, and sends infantry gibs out of the skybox), a [[Steel Rain|jump pack]], heals per hit ability, and vehicle raping thunder hammer.

== Trivia ==
[[File:Eliphas the inheritor.png|400px|thumbnail|right|You didn't truly expect to stop the forces of Chaos?]]
*He seems to be suffering from a severe case of throat cancer as his voice constantly changes tone.
*His Daemon Prince (treated as a piece of wargear due to how the engine is set up) is a bit of a mixed bag, and under most circumstances you probably don't want it. Daemon Princehood is the worst wargear in the campaign if you're not playing on hard mode, and in most respects is actually a ''downgrade'' in terms of both abilities, offensive and defensive power that will lead to him getting stomped by stuff he could take as a Chaos Lord. He loses his most useful secondary effect (upgraded Chaos Lord Eliphas provides constant morale drain; Daemon Prince Eliphas does not). And his stats are all kinds of wonky between the two phases on different difficulties:
**For Dark Crusade/Soulstorm campaign modes, the player is stupidly OP on easy mode and is at default PvP strength on Hard mode. This is reflected in Eliphas's Chaos Lord form but strangely not his Daemon Prince form. On all difficulties, Daemon Prince Eliphas gets 5000 HP (compared to the normal 2900 in chaos lord form on Hard), morale damage that can instantly break any non-fearless nearby infantry, and he also disrupts massed infantry. All this with damage output effective against everything and daemon armor, some of the highest around. He swings both faster and harder than his mortal form, as well as gaining immunity to morale damage. Just watch out for Nightbringer Necron Lords, who will eat you alive. But on normal and below? Chaos Lord Eliphas does that much damage just by himself and has more than 5000 HP.
*Prior to Dawn of War III, he had equal appearances with Gorgutz and was the only evil character to return from the original DoW series in DoW II. Now, however, Gorgutz' return in DoW III has put an end to both trends... for the time being.
*He's either named after the first man to commit murder and to be executed in the state of New Hampshire, or some French Occultist.
**In Dark Crusade, Eliphas had two Sorcerer underlings, Amphion and Zathus. The two men who created his portal to the Warp in his stronghold and the Warp bomb he would have used to blow up the Necrons, they are named after legendary twins from Greek mythology.
*Ironically considering his origins as an undivided lord, speccing him out as Khorne is the only way to make him effective in the campaign unless you specifically intend to fuck around with the options the other options offer (and they lack the balls-out melee punch of the former). Speccing him out as Khorne makes him more effective a combatant than every other melee campaign hero put together. This is rather fitting, seeing as how Eliphas roars out; 'Blood for the Blood God!" and "Skulls for the Skull Throne!" very often during gameplay. He has been nerfed a bit though while heroes like Diomedes and Bluddflagg got buffed. Be aware that he has lost his superheavy armor type and sweeping doom has been toned down somewhat damage wise.
*Speccing him out as Khorne not only makes him the most damaging unit in the game, it also makes him into the most successful troll in the game aside from that asshole, Kyras. Any unit hitting him will become consumed with RAGE and start hitting each other. Using the Berzerk ability on Eliphas will also cause everyone else to become FUCKANGRY.
* Evidence from Retribution and Dawn of War: Dark Crusade show that Eliphas serves Khorne above all the other Chaos Gods. The proof for this is that, Khorne is the only Chaos God he invokes by name (along with Tzeentch) and generally acts pretty Khornate. He likes fighting and killing more than regular Chaos Lords and gets angry pretty quickly.[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DJCii1NAYw He also invokes Khorne more than the other Chaos Gods.] It is finally proved in Retribution, where he literally screams the infamous 'Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne!' warcry regardless of whichever specialization you give him and generally keeps invoking Khorne at the exclusion of every other God except Slaanesh when killing Eldar, and Nurgle, when he tells their followers to fuck off. And he's not respectful in either instance. He also has this frightening fixation on bleeding his enemies out, as is noticed in the first Chaos mission.
*Spends every Friday night with his friends prank calling Shas'O Kais, unaware that the confused Tau is only getting static. Everybody's phone bill goes up- nobody wins.
*Eliphas can be given a permanent helmet in DoWII Retribution via a very well done and easy to install mod. http://www.mediafire.com/file/8uuu264d6ru996k/EliphasHelmet.sga. You can give me a blowjob later.
* He is definitely <s>Belgian</s> Space Belgian.
* His voiced from Chaos Rising and onwards is provided by Steve Blum, who also voices a certain Transformer called "Starscream". That explains the backstabbing tendencies. Steve only started doing that character ''after'' Chaos Rising though.
* That same man does the voice of Wolverine, also. Eliphas basically sounds like a British Wolverine when he gets angry in Retribution now. This explains Eliphas' newfound heights of [[Khorne|aggression]].

==Memorable Quotations==

*"''Chaos moves at its own pace, alien. Not yours.''" - Eliphas telling off [[Gorgutz]] for complaining about him not killing him fast enough.

*"'''BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!'''" - Eliphas, channeling Araghast's badassness.

*"'''SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!'''" - Because <s>Khorne > Every other Chaos God.</s> [[WAAAGH|overused battlecries]] are overused.

*"''Do not be so quick to make foolish offers, Daemon. Araghast too once thought I would be an asset to his cause. Look to what has become of him.''" - Eliphas being a '''BADASS MOTHERFUCKER'''.

*"''You wish to honor Lord Nurgle? THEN DO SO FROM THE GRAVE!''" - Eliphas, upon slaughtering a coven of Nurglite guardsmen, also is funny because decomposition joke.

*"''YOU FIGHT FOR NOTHING, YOU ARE NOTHING!''" - Eliphas, upon [[awesome|soloing a '''Land Raider''']].

*"''Observe, brothers. Observe how Space Marines choose to die, and how little choice they have in the matter. Come Davian, we have unfinished business!''" - Eliphas, just about to kill Davian Thule, the bastard.

*"''Oh, Davian, He cannot hear you.''" - Eliphas upon killing Davian Thule. The bastard.

*"'''THE ETERNAL WAR ENDS FOR YOU THIS DAY!!'''" - Eliphas, out-Khornate-ing a an <s>Black</s> <s>Alpha</s> Black Legion (<s>what in the fucking eleven circles of hell would make you think that the deranged chaos champion was from the Alpha legion?</s> <s>Perhaps because he bore Alpha Legion colours?</s> (Nonsensical rambling, no legion like that ever existed) Chaos Champion, while Typhon was getting the shit blown out of it. Said Champion died in one hit.

*"'''WHY DOES ANYTHING THINK I CAN BE KILLED!?!'''" - Eliphas, shrugging off bolter fire and in the mood for some rape.

*"''Such inspiring courage! Perhaps we'll mount your corpse on a golden chair and make an idol out of you as well.''" - The quote that solidified Eliphas' popularity amongst the Imperium hating Heretics.

*"''An ambush, we are finished! /sarcasm''" - Eliphas mocks the Blood Raven's unmanly attempts to kill him while also being sarcastic. Oddly enough, most people who hear this line miss the obvious sarcasm. Which can lead you to suspect that most people are monkeys.

*"''Then I won't lie to you brother. You have been lied to enough''." - Eliphas, to Thule.

*"''No coward has ever remained hidden from the Black Legion! I will relish in your soul's eternal suffering!''" - Eliphas expresses his idealized view of the Black Legion whilst calling Kyras' a faggot and calling him out to some FIGHTAN.

*"''CAN YOU WEAKLINGS NOT FIGHT ANY BETTER?!''" - Can YOU scream this to an on-rushing army of Orks after having slaughtered their Warboss? No, you can't.

*"'''These are the Blood Ravens; finest slaves of the Dead Emperor. We owe them ''much'' more than a quick death.'''" - Eliphas, alluding to how he shall rape the Blood Ravens.

*"''Yesss... Come into my home, Taldeer.''" - Eliphas killed the Vindicare Assassin and raped Taldeer. Truth.

*"''The people here have already accepted the Black Testament. So will you.''" - Eliphas is a religious badass. Far moar so than any SPESSH MEHREEN.

*"''Come! See the Faith of my Crusaders, they shall soon cleanse you of your disbelief.''"

*"''Well done! You have come further in this blessed land than I ever thought! Lord Khorne shall drink your blood from the very soil!''"

*"'''IN BATTLE, WE ALL HONOUR KHORNE!!!'''" - Eliphas always did worship Khorne above all the other Gods.

*"''Kill any [[Orks|xenos]] and take what you need. Their pitiful souls will do little to sate the Chaos gods, but '''oh, how they bleed'''."'' - Eliphas once again showing his preference for Khorne and busting a sweet rhyme at the same time.

*"''You cannot impede the Black Inheritance.''" - Eliphas, unlike a [[Abaddon|certain other Chaos Lord who's first name is Ezekyle]], has a reason for his title.

*"''No...that cannot be so...''" - Eliphas when responding to the Necron Lord of Kronus telling him of the coming (shit) storm of [[Matt Ward]].

*"''Alien, you come to your death''" - Eliphas to O-Kais, not knowing [[Tau]] having no presence in the warp means that O-Kais thinks it's just static.

*"''Wonder instead how we could have ever trusted one such as him."'' - Eliphas to Thule after Thule says how could the Emperor have ever trusted the Word Bearers, and Eliphas is actually avoiding the question by that comment.

*''"Send my regards to Slaanesh, Eldar!"'' - Eliphas, showing those [[Eldar|pansy fucks]] right to Slaanesh's palace.

*"''[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Hey Corpse-Emperor, furk you.]]"'' - In a letter to the Emperor, shortly before getting psychically punched from halfway across the galaxy.

{{Template:Chaos-Marines}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Chaos]][[Category:Space Marines]][[Category: Dawn of War]]

Indrick Boreale

2018-05-25T02:07:50Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:C4B5:9D8B:7448:168F:

[[Image:Indrick Boreale.jpg|thumb|right|Captain Boreale. The greatest and BAWLDEST of us all.]]
{{Awesome}}
[[Image:BOREALUM.jpeg|thumb|right|500pix|[[Meme|YES.]] ]]
Something akin to the King James VI of Warhammer 40K, '''Indrick Boreale''' is the Force Commander of the [[Blood Ravens]] [[Space Marines]] in the ''[[Dawn of War]]: [[Dawn of War#Soulstorm|Soulstorm]]'' campaign. Infamous for his speech impediment and baldness (He's a 12.0 on the 10.0 scale of baldness) and also famous for losing half of the Blood Ravens' forces after he presumably got all 500 Space Marines killed on Kaurava II (then toned down to 3 companies according to Cyrus in DoWII:CR). He is the origin of the memes [[Emprah]] and [[SPESS MEHREENS|SPESS MEHREENS]]. According to ''[[Dawn of War II]]'', he died in the [[Kaurava System]] during the events of ''Soulstorm'', which some have interpreted as something of an apology from Relic for the terrible quality of his performance, or possibly an in-game bonus. He is such a big failure that he drives Cyrus crazy and pushes him to join chaos in one alternate plotline.

Comically, Boreale was actually a rather awesome sniper as a scout ([[awesome|he had a sniper rifle named "Cold Mercy", where he used it to stalk some asshole heretic for 18 days before finally gave him the mercy he deserved]]), and he managed to do some good work before his promotion to Force Commander. His tragic career is the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle Peter principle] in action.

If he were victorious in the Kaurava campaign (which is non-canon), he will found a new [[Fortress-monastery]] in the Lands of Solitude, and rename the territory to "[[Derp|Borealum]]" in the Emprah's name (even though it's actually his own).
[[Image:B'oreal.png|thumb|right|Baldeale in all his shiny-headed glory.]]

==In-Game Stats==
Don't be fooled by Boreale's hilarious accent, nor the fact that he seems, at a glance, to be weaker than [[Davian Thule]] - Boreale is both quite a bit tougher and an exceptionally potent commander unit in his own right, boasting both better health and abilities (one such a ability called "inspiring speech" causes the entire enemy army to roll on the floor laughing their asses off) than Thule - though Thule does quite a bit more damage (of both ranged and close-combat flavors) and is impervious to knockdown when maxed (Boreale isn't), Boreale moves a little faster, has a bit more HP, regenerates faster, and provides much stronger benefits to his attached squad once he has his Chapter Banner ability, which will cause most units to regain morale so fast that it's unlikely they'll ever break in the first place - making it great for when you're attaching Boreale to an Assault Terminator Squad (a contrast to Thule, who was usually better-assigned to a Grey Knight unit). In addition, Chapter Banner makes Boreale himself regenerate morale so quickly that he's virtually impossible to break unless smack-dab in the middle of a big group of [[Flayed Ones]].

Putting it simply, like Boreale himself, his unit is survivable and works well as a blunt instrument.

Interestingly, Thule does notably more damage with Alexian's Blade (his tier-1 weapon upgrade, a power sword), than Boreale does with Rogal's Fist (his tier-1 weapon upgrade) despite similar stats. Their base damage with their Daemonhammers, however, are identical. Presumably, Boreale only recently [[Blood Ravens|"received"]] the mace from the gracious Imperial Fists, and has yet to become accustomed to its use.

==Boreale Addressing His Troops==
In a meeting between the [[Blood Ravens]]' finest Librarians and pious Chaplains, Captain Indrick Boreale requested from them a speech that would inspire his troops to victory, seeing that his original one was insufficient. While the 2 parties did make a glorious speech, Captain Boreale's ad-libs, mispronunciations and improvisations virtually gutted the speech made by them.

[[File:FacebookGiotaTsirou.jpg|620px|thumb|right|Panagiota Tsirou, a 200 pound girl of short stature with unnatural agility that is incompatible with the physical boundaries that her obese biological structure should obviously follow, proving that a twisted disfigurement of reality is already existent, unleashing the incomprehensible influence of the warp in ways too unimaginable for anyone to acquaint with its reflections in our ludicrous lives, redefined by overwhelmingly shocking surprises.]]

''Tehre is noh time to beh lohst!

''Batul Brothas!

''Spehss Mahrens, todeh the enemeh is at oua doar! We know oua duteh and we will do eet. We fight for our honor as Blod Rehvens, as SPESS MAHRENS, and we fight in the nehme of the Empra!

''And if we die this deh we die in gloareh, we die heroes' deffs, but we shall not die, no! It is the enemeh who will tehste deff and defeat!

''As you know! Moast of oua battle brothars are shtehtioned in SPEHSS, Pruhpeared to deep strike! Oua perimeter has been pruhpeared in the even dat oua enehmies should be so bald and so foolish. We have plehced numerous beacons, allowing for muhltiple, simuln-tehneous and devashtehting defensive deep strikes

''The Codecks astartees nehmes this maneuvah Steel Rehn. We will descend upon the foe, we will ovawhelm them - we will leave none alive! Meanwhile oua ground fawses will ensue the full defense of oua headkwaters

''We are the spehss mahrens! WE ARE THE EMPRA'S FUREH!

Of course this is the edited version taught to young cultists to disgrace the honourable captain. This is the handy work of chaos. This was the original version found at his desk next to a pile of red and black crayons.

There is at our honor, as Blood Ravens, as space marines, and so foolish.
 We are the emperor!
 If we fight in glory.
 We will descend upon the name of our headquarters.
 We will descend upon the emperor's fury There is at our door.
 We have placed numerous beacons, allowing for our honor, as Blood Ravens, as Blood Ravens, as Blood Ravens, as space marines, and devastating defensive deep strike!
 Our perimeter has been prepared in the event that our enemies should be lost!
 Battle brothers; space prepared to deep strike!
 Our perimeter has been prepared in the emperor!
 If we fight in space, prepared to deep strikes.
 The Codex Astartes names this maneuver steel rain.
 We fight for multiple simultaneous and we fight for our door.
 We are the emperor!
 If we will overwhelm them, we shall not die.
 No, We fight for our honor, as space marines, and we fight for our battle brothers are stationed in the name of the emperor!

==Position as a meme==
Boreale is the single biggest meme in the WH40K fanbase, all thanks to his voice acting courtesy of [[Scott McNeil]] (MIGHTY IS HE!!!). This was attributed to Soulstorm's hilariously lackluster VA scripting and Scott McNeil's awesome voice acting. The combination of hilarious fail unseen since the CDi Zelda series and pretty decent voice acting propelled Boreale to his current status. In short, much like the Zelda CDi series turning into the single largest repository of cringy YTPs and [[Rebecca Black]] being awesomely hilarious than being failtastically hilarious, Boreale swung the bar of fail so hard that fail transposed into [[awesome]].

[[File:Boreale_Emerges.png|thumb|200px|right|Indrick Boreale gloriously represented in the sacred light of the EMPRAH.]]
His opening speech is the main cause of his fame, the speech itself was, again, lackluster and boring (Honestly, who comes up with: ''"And if we die this day, we die in glory, we die heroes' deaths [[Derp|but we shall not die, no!]]"'') but how Scott said it. Many laughs were had with SPESS MEHRENS and the EMPRAH as with the entirety of his speech itself, which resulted with numerous YTPs, remixes, and hell even songs. The other minor bits about him is mostly being Bald, more specifically, the only Captain in the Blood Ravens to posses Astartes-pattern baldness other than [[Apollo Diomedes]]. Either way, many laughs were generated because of these and it's all thanks to Captain Boreale of the Blood Ravens, the greatest of them all (except that he sucks).

Truly the Emperor provides.

==On /tg/==
[[File:Boreale40M.jpg|thumb|600px|center|The Codecks Astartes nehms this manuveh Wehn Get!]]

==Codecks Indrick Boreale==
After much petition to GW, they finally allowed Boreale to be a separate force commander. Stats:

{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Indrick Boreale:''' || 165 || 6 || 5 || 4 || 4 || 3 || 5 || 3 || 10 || 2+/4++
|}

'''Wargear''':
* '''Rogal's Fist'''
* '''Bolt Pistol''': See Codex: Space Marines. Can be swapped for a Plasma Pistol for 15 pts, or a Meltagun for +10 pts.
* '''Boreale's Artificer Armour'''
* '''Iron Halo''': See Codex Space Marines
* '''Personal Standard''': Counts as Company Standard. May be replaced with a Personal Teleporter.
* '''Frag Grenades'''
* '''Krak Grenades'''

'''Special Rules'''
* '''And They Shall Know No Fear'''
* '''Chapter Tactics (Blood Ravens)''': As per the rules for all Chapters who do not kmow their primogenitor Chapter, the Blood Ravens do not have a unique Chapter Tactic. Instead, the player can elect to use any existing Chapter Tactics from Codex: Space Marines and any Forge World supplements.
* '''Independent Character'''
* '''Counter-attack'''
* '''Furious Charge'''
* '''Astartes-Pattern Baldness''': Captain Boreale is so bald that his bald head (after considerable polishing) can be seen by his Bathul Brothars shtetioned in SPEHSS and even in the warp, who are pruhpared to deep strike at any moment, allowing them to use it like an improvised, bald, locator beacon to better their chances of launching multiple simultaneous and devastating defensive deep strikes. All reinforcements (friend or foe) entering the field using deep strike will not suffer scatter if they are deployed within 120" (that's right, 10 feet!) of Captain Boreale. Additionally, all reinforcements (friend or foe) entering the field using deep strike may re-roll scatter so long as Captain Boreale is deployed. Additionally, his bald head can intensify light at a surprising level, rivaling that of the searchlight commonly mounted on vehicles. Boreale automatically attacks as if he is using a Searchlight wargear during night fighting, exposing him to the enemy while illuminating their position to his allies. Enemies also ignore the night fighting distance check and gain +1 BS whenever they attack Captain Boreale and any squad he is attached to in the shooting phase while night fighting. If not night fighting, any unit that shoots at Captain Boreale will have their BS reduced by 1 point. Furthermore, any laser-based weapon (Lasgun) shot at Captain Boreale at any range with a Strength of 3 or less can be deflected by his bald head. When hit by a ranged laser weapon with S3 or less, roll a D3. If the result is 1: the attack is rendered as if it was a normal attack, if the result is 2: The attack is deflected and is rendered null, if the result is 3: the attack is instead re-directed to the attacking unit as if he is shot by his own weapon with only armor and invulnerable saves applying to the attacker. In addition, the attacking unit may not use their armor save if they shoot Captain Boreale while in assault phase.
* '''Stehl Rehn''' '''(some steh dry and others feel the pehn)''' Captain Boreale has mastered the tactic: [[Steel Rain]]. All friendly Space Marine units may deploy as many of their reserves entering the field using drop pods during any Phase.
* '''We are the Empra's fureh!''': Captain Boreale aspires to embody the Space Marines as the Emprah's fureh. Any unit captain Boreale joins automatically gets the Furious Charge special rule. Additionally, Boreale chants out his infamous battle cry during the charge, stunning enemies and causing them all to suffer from the Unwieldy special rule on their weapons when his unit charges. This ignores any wargear or rule that prevents them from doing so.
* '''Bald and Fewlish''': Captain Boreale is both bold and foolish. Boreale and any squad he is attached to reroll once per turn failed Morale, Pinning and Fear tests.
* '''Todeh the enemeh is at oua doar!''': Captain Boreale is ever alert and so are his troops. He and any squad he's attached to gain the Acute Senses USR.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! Strength !! AP !! Type
|-
| '''Rogal's Fist''' || - || 8 || 3 || Melee, Master Crafted, Concussive, Sweep Attacks
|}
* '''Rogal's Fist''': Rogal's Fist is a Power Mace, that is said to have been created by the Imperial Fists' Primarch himself. How it found its way into the Blood Ravens' Armoury, yet alone Boreale's hands, is a complete mystery.
** '''Sweep Attacks''': Captain Indrick Boreale can, instead of using his normal attack value, initiate a sweeping attack instead. All enemy models in base contact with Indrick Boreale suffer the same amount of attacks proportional to the number of models in base contact with him.

* '''Boreale's Artificer Armour''': Boreale's Artificer Armour has multiple pieces of technology that keep him alive even in the heart of the most gruesome fights on the battlefield. This armour counts as a Artificer Armour, but it also grants the Feel No Pain, It Will Not Die and Crusader USR.

==How Boreale lost his "voice"==
Scene starts as Thule defeats Gorgutz in Dark Crusade.
Gorgutz flees the Green Beach and is currently on his Ork ship.
Indrick Boreale is in his personal Thunderhawk with Techmarine brother Spasmius heading towards the Litany of Fury. Brother Spasmius had an unclear mind due to seeing a daemonette on imperial television, and hence drove Brother Captain Boreale into Gorgutz' ship, looking for Gabriel Angelos.

Nob: Isn't that 'umie un of 'ose wez got trash'd up by?
Gorgutz: Nah, that 'umie looks dumb, and 'ez talks funny too. Must be un of 'ose Chaos Boyz we'z stomped on.
Nob: What shall we do boss? Stomp on 'im?
Gorgutz: Move aside ya git. 'ez mine.

Gorgutz smashes up Boreale, leaving him with no teeth and a even more damaged brain. Boreale stumbles back into his thunderhawk, Gorgutz gleefully picking up his teeth.

"Brother Spessmius...Where are weh?"

==Brother-Captain Boreale's Bad Day==
[[Image:Baldeale.jpg|thumb|right|SPESSSSS]]
Boreale made doubly sure his armor was perfectly polished. He checked his sword scabbard and pistol holster. He fitted his Purity Seals on and ensured that his breastplate decorations were positioned correctly. He held his helmet under his arms. As he turned from his massive planning table, he checked his reflection in one of his other suits of Power Armour. Tall, large, inspiring. Perfectly presented, every inch an Imperial Space Marine.

His hair was still very short, but Boreale had begun to accept that. Even after two hundred years, his hair (or lack thereof) bothered him. But it wasn’t the worst thing. That would be his speech.

He had been fighting his speech for years. He was an inspirational speaker, able to turn his formidable speech-composition skills to demagoguery or fiery rhetoric. He always wrote and delivered his own speeches, and he strongly believed in the importance of words as an element of leadership. But he always struggled with the same thing:

Pronunciation. A more obdurate enemy than any he had ever faced.

He mouthed the words of his speech to himself, very softly, as he looked into his reflection on the chestplate of a Power Armour suit.

“Space Marines, today is the day…” the words came out very softly, but they were correct. Perhaps today WOULD be the day? Perhaps today he would get it right, and deliver the greatest speech of his entire illustrious career? He continued to practice:
“today is the day we serve the…Empr-…Empera…Emperor. Tode-today…” He took a deep breath and started again:

“Today is the day we serve the Emperor by putting our lives, minds and souls in the line of duty in His name, and in service to the Imperium….”

He was doing well so far. Perhaps today would be the day indeed.

Confident with his initial success, Boreale straightened himself out to his full height of about nine feet. It had been only days since the attack on their Stronghold by the Sisters of Battle, where he had personally defeated Cannoness Agna in single combat. The woman had charged in towards him, full of righteous fury, and screaming a challenge. Meeting her with his own blade and screaming his own battle cry (it unfortunately came out as FOR THE EMPRA, in the heat of battle), Boreale had overwhelmed her with superior speed and strength, and she had fallen on her sword rather than let him strike the killing blow.

Regrettable that it came to fighting the Empe...Emperor’s servants as such, but necessary. Necessary for the survival of the Imperium and mankind, necessary to please the Emperor and the Unknown Primarch. Necessary. No, essential!

Boreale gritted his jaw, and corrected his sword one last time. It was time.

He stepped out onto the podium where hundreds of Blood Ravens stood assembled silently and unmoving, waiting for his words. He felt confidence fill him the likes of which he had never felt. Today would indeed be the day.

Boreale drew a deep breath.

“BROTHERS!”

…

“TODEH WE SERVE THE EMPRA!”

Some things just never changed.

==Boreale in Therapy==
[[Image:BorealeTherapy.jpg|thumb|right]]
"Space marines. Suh-Pay-Seh Ma-Reens. Space Marines," Brother Tullus nodded, "Now, you try." 

"Sp-Sp-SPESS-" 
"No, no, ACE. AAAACE." 
"EHSSS" 
"Ace." 
"Ace." 
"Good. Now say 'Spay." 
"Spay." 
"Now say both of them." 
"Spay. Ace." 
"And all together now." 
"Sp-sp-spess." 

Brother Tullus delicately plucked the spectacles from the bridge of his nose while the other massaged his much aching head, "No, no, Emperor damn it..." 
"I have failed..." 
"No, no, no Boreale you-" Tullus leaned back in the chair, as it cried out in protest, trying in vain to think of something- 
"THE EMPRAH!" 
He fell back out of his chair in surprise at the sudden exclamation. 

Brother-Captain Indrick Boreale was but one of many held at the Mental Reclamation Convent of Saint Gimpus, and really, Tullus reflected as he righted his chair, one of the better behaved ones. 

For instance, one cell over... 

"MEHTAL BAWKSES!" Came muffled through the wall, shaking the diplomas bespangling it. 

==STEEL REHN==
[[image:SteelRehn.jpg|thumb|500px|**I look away from the mic to call more SPEHSS MAHREENS.]]
Steel Rehn
 Some steh dry and others feel the pehn
 Steel Rehn
 Landing drop pods makehs infernahl din

Steel Rehn**
 Our eterhnel fureh strikes the hearts of mehn
 Steel Rehn
 Deep strikeh is our vehry own bent

Steel Rehn
 No matteh how hard our enemeh’s try
 Steel Rehn
 They all see our reputashen is no lie

Steel Rehn
 Forecast to be fallen yesterdeh
 Steel Rehn
 Yet it will likeleh also fall todeh

(Chorus)
 Steel Rehn
 We fall to earth at enormouehs rates
 Steel Rehn
 The Empra’s foes cannot stop ourh haet
 [Repeat]

Steel Rehn
 Our drop pods coveh the light of dehy
 Steel Rehn
 Our enemeh’s flee but there is no weyh

Steel Rehn
 Fiereh blood rushing throuegh our vehns
 Steel Rehn
 Afteh we finish we prepare to fall back down agaihn

Steel Rehn
 We are called dowehn by the radio
 Steel Rehn
 The purpose is to gain grouend controhl

Steel Rehn
 We could not call it aneh otherh nayme
 Steel Rehn
 Everything else soundehd quite insayhn

Steel Rehn
 We are preparing to fall onceh moreh now
 Steel Rehn
 The Empra will someday rewaredh us, somehow

Boreale stopped singing once he reached the end of what he had composed, and sat down silently, sitting his head in his hands. On [[Pen and paper|paper]], it was brilliant, a hymn that could be sung by billions of the Emperor’s servants across thousands of worlds in countless joyous anthems.

But what was the point if he couldn’t sing it properly himself?

==Boreale's life before service to the chapter==
[[File:Codex clogarteries.gif|right|thumb|200px|FHAST FHOD FOH THE EMPRAH!]]
SPESS MEHREENS! TODAY, THE CUSTOMERS ARE AT OUR DOORS! WE KNOW OUR BURGERS, AND WE WILL COOK THEM! WE FRY FOR OUR HONAH AS BLUD REVENS, AS SPESS MEHREENS, AND WE FRY IN THE NAME OF THE EMPRAH!

IF WE FEHL AN ORDAH, WE WILL MAKE IT AGAIN AND GIVE A DISCOUNT! BUT WE WILL NOT FEHL, NO, IT IS THE CUSTOMER WHO WILL TASTE OUR DELICIOUS [[Emprah Burgers|EMPRAH BURGAHS]].

AS YOU KNOW, MOST OF OUR BATTLE BURGERS ARE STORED IN SPESS, PREPARED TO DEEP FRY! OUR LARDERS HAVE BEEN PREPARED SHOULD THE CUSTOMERS BE SO BOLD AND FOOLISH TO COME BACK FOR SECONDS! WE HAVE PLACED MULTIPLE FRYCOOKS ALLOWING FOR MULTIPLE, SIMMULTANEUS DEVAHSTATING DEEP FRIES.

THE CODEX CLOGGEDARTERIES NEMES THIS MANUVAH HEART PAIN! WE WILL DESCEND UPON THE BURGAHS, AND OVERWHELM THEM, LEAVE NONE UNFRIED! MEANWHILE, OUR CASHIERS WILL ENSURE THE DEFENSE OF OUR HEADQUARTERS!

WE ARE THE SPESS MEHREENS! WE ARE THE EMPRAH'S FRYCOOKS!

==Boreale's previous service==
Captain Boreale did actually serve back then as a Marine veteran sergeant during the Tartarus Campaign along with Captain [[Gabriel Angelos]], back then his speech abilities were still heavily disabled due to a freakish power-fist incident with a 1st company veteran Terminator. His speech was mostly confined to screaming and a neural link with his troops. His task was to flank a horde of [[Ork]]s with a tactical squad and a Predator Annihilator tank however found himself with large contingent of Orks planning the same. His force was pushed back under a highway with them holding the line as best they could with the Predator tank the only thing keeping the orks back, then however the orks started to employ artillery systems.

He requested for reinforcements from the Litany of Fury however the nearest Thunderhawk gunship was 10-15 minutes away and the only thing they could send at the moment was Brother Valek, a Dreadnought. The orks then got lucky and destroyed the Predator tank and then they started to rush Boreale's squad. Just then about to ready themselves for the assault, Brother Valek plummeted from the skies and provided support fire at the best possible time. Gabriel Angelos then advised Boreale to hold the line with the Dreadnought but Boreale guesstimated that the Orks had a high chance of reaching them next turn despite the cover. To deny the Orks their Furious Charge, he had to do something bald and foolish: He stood up and yelled: AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!, in a comically guttural way, which was actually "We are the Spehss mehreens! We are the Emprah's Fureh!" when heard in the marines' neural links. The tactical squad of 10 was ordered rush the Ork horde outnumbering them 10-1 along with the Dreadnought. Not wanting to take 4 S4 attacks in the face per Ork, they did.

There was one surviving marine who commented: "We were on the way to being relieved and the dreadnought had been enough to keep the foul greenskins at bay this time, and yet we were doomed if we stated in one place. That's when our Sergeant ordered us to strike first at the enemy with overwhelming numbers! It was a bloodbath with Sergeant Boreale leading the assault, then however an Ork attached a Tankbusta bomb on Brother Valek's dreadnought and it exploded, killing most of the marines and the orks though a sizable force of Orks did still remain. While the deep strikes and Thunderhawks were already being deployed from the Litany of Fury, Sergeant Boreale took the Chapter Banner and made a run for his brothers, hoping to get close enough to inspire them. He was however shot down as he rushed up the fortified hill, leaving him unable to move further. In one last act of defiance, he planted the Chapter Banner on the top of the hill; while the company did admire the thought, it was an ultimately fruitless move for the Sergeant as his brothers couldn't get close." Sergeant Boreale suffered a deep wound when he was shot in the neck during his charge up the hill. While the chapter's Apothecaries were able to heal him they mentioned that even if the wound should heal, Sergeant Boreale would suffer from speech impairment for the rest of his life. He was absent from most of the Tartarus campaign due to the wounds he suffered.

For the live action movie of this even click: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFkFo5SBx-g here.]

==Boreale's Death==
The Lands of solitude were rocked by a titanic battle between Marine and Guardsman, it was a bloody gauntlet for both commanders.

''Shargent Harad, come in!''

Captain Boreale yelled on his vox, but alas to no avail: Sergeant Harad, who was guarding the outer perimeter defenses has fallen and even from the top of his citadel, Boreale could clearly see the column of Leman Russ and Baneblade tanks marching to his fortress. All of the Blood Ravens lined up for the final assault. The Crewmen of the Land Raiders and Predator tanks prayed to both the Emperor and the Machine Spirit for deliverance and protection, the Reclusiarch Chaplain gave a most wondrous and inspirational speech to the Marines with them foaming at the mouth with eagerness to kill the traitor guardsmen who dared desecrate their lands. Epistolary Saribander, Commander Boreale's second in command told the Captain:

''Everything is prepared my Lord'' and with that silently and slowly: Commander Boreale drew his Chainsword, loaded his Bolt Pistol and went out.

While numerically the Blood Ravens were defeated, they made up for it with great fervor and the fact they were the Space Marines, the finest weapons of the Emperor. The Marines lined up outside the fortress gates, from high ground they could see the legion of guardsmen and tanks headed their way but neither flinched, shook or broke a sweat, they knew this was their glorious end and they shall die honorably for the Immortal God-Emperor of man, their leader and father. Captain Boreale, the Epistolary and the Reclusiarch lined up in front of the men, ready for the fight of their lives....and their last one. Everyone was ready to charge just waiting for the Captain's word......closer and closer the Marines could feel the tanks' treads moving closer and in a split second Boreale ordered the charge with the battlecry:

''FOR TEH EMPRAH!'' And with that, a monumental bloodshed of biblical proportions started.

Bolter rounds and Lasbeams, the mighty cannons of the Baneblades targeted the holy Land raiders which the latter did the same. Screams were everywhere, the maddening battlecry of an Astartes riddled the guardsmen with fear but the [[Commissar]] solved that problem fairly easily. The battle eventually fell down to a bloody melee combat.

''BREAK THE ENEMY LI.....'', the Chaplain was cut short by a lascannon beam that tore right through his helmet, the marines while demoralized, kept fighting for they know their honor as a chapter was at stake.

As the battle waged on, the ground was already colored blood red from the blood of both factions, however as their forces dwindled, the guardsmen kept coming, wave after wave of humble servants, never faltering, never ending. Captain Boreale saw that they were outnumbered and fell back to higher ground.

The Marines reluctantly fell back with the guard hot on their trail, the last of the company Terminators made planetfall as Captain Boreale's honor guard. Captain Boreale ordered his Epistolary to take a squad and cover their flanks, taking 5 squads of battle-brothers, the Librarian obliged while Captain Boreale held the front. After 3 hours which seemed like an eternity however, Epistolary Saribander's forces were nearly eradicated. ''The Emperor protects us all!'' he yelled with a soft tone, charging a line of guardsmen with the last squad of Marines. One by one they fell until only the Epistolary remained, he kept charging, not minding that he is the only one left. Lasbeam after lasbeam tore through his sacred armor until he could no longer charge, he could no longer run or live, crashing to the ground on his knees with a war-torn look, he fell flat on his face, his lifeless corpse on the ground.

Things were not looking up for Captain Boreale either, his forces were cornered already making their last stand.

''We fight to the last man brothers!'' A sergeant yelled to his compatriots, before being wiped out by a baneblade.

''We have fehled........THE EMPRAH.''

Captain Boreale shouted before being thoroughly riddled by a Kasrkin's hellgun. And with that, the Captain Boreale's 5 companies met their glorious end, their bodies later recovered by the Chapter's Apothecaries after General Vance MOTHERFUCKING Stubbs stabilized the planet.

Unsurprisingly, his death has now been confirmed in ''Dawn of War II''. The Kaurava System campaign is remembered with shame and epic failure by the rest of the Blood Ravens with even Cyrus commenting on it being because of "the incompetence of Indrick Boreale." Sadly, DoW3 has since invalidated the above writefaggotry by confirming that he was in fact defeated by [[Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter]] and his Orks.

==Steal Rain==
It is of course possible that we at /tg/, along with the narrator of Soulstorm himself and all of Boreale's foes, have been deceived by the cunning of the good captain. His strategy was not "Steel Rehn," the common and predictable edict of the [[Codex Astartes]]. Rather, capitalizing on the mastery of the Blood Ravens at the acquisition of all that stood before them, he implemented his own devious tactics: "Steal Rain." Having built up his force with [[Bjorn|marines gifted by other chapters]] and by the unwilling forces of chaos, he had amassed a force that made the five companies officially under his command a mere distraction force to occupy the foe's attention as they assaulted the Lands of Solitude, while boreale's mastery of deepstriking left the best thieves and looters, as well as himself, well behind enemy lines, where resistance was token, the loot and relics rich. But this was merely the beginning.

[[Firaeveus Carron| Carron did not lose the favor of chaos.]] In the din of battle, as he raved about the [[METAL BOXES| Rhinos]] spearheading into his territory, his screams of fury obscured the roar of a landing [[Thunderhawk]]. Within moments, the marines had torn the shrines from the earth and robbed the chaos marines of their might, adding the power to the ever-growing armada under Boreale's command.

The defeat of the [[Necron|Necrons]] upon Kaurava had come as marines pried loose the power supplies, and rank upon rank of warriors and war machines fell silent. The marines wasted no time in hauling them into a mass of inert metal and carried them, with the inexplicable stealth and speed so common to the magpie squads of the Blood Ravens, to be reprogrammed in service to the chapter.

[[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs| The hundred Baneblades were not lost]]; rather, as the guard broke through the deep-striking marines in the supposed stronghold of the marine force, Boreale and a token force assaulted the enemy stronghold, felled what few guards stood over the depots, and signed the few requisition orders that would allow them to abscond with the guard's might. What had seemed to be Boreale, felled in battle, was in truth a brother-marine who had been "gifted" the guise of the captain.

Throughout the subsequent years of the Blood Ravens and the treachery of [[Azariah Kyras]], none even guessed at this plan, assuming that the failure of "Boreale" was all that it seemed. Only one man, [[Apollo Diomedes]], was cunning enough to piece together what had transpired, the final pieces falling into place as Kyras began the final steps to his ascension. It was not without reason that he feared the roar of each Baneblade he met, for he knew that they were the harbingers. Should subsector Aurelia have fallen, the hold of chaos would be momentary, wiped away by a more terrible foe whose hunger would not cease until every planet, every race, was unified, an undivided SPESS under Boreale's iron fist.

[[Katanas are Underpowered in d20|Now that seems a lot more representative of the strategic mastery of Indrick Boreale in Soulstorm, don't you think?]]

tl;dr = Boreale is actually a [[Creed|tactical genius]], see my new explanation.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNxR5YwFLT4 An animated depiction of Boreale's wet dreams.]

==...Or did he?==
[[Deathwatch|Watch Commander]] Boloshoi once again regarded the figure which knelt before him, clad in exquisitely crafted artificer armour made no less resplendent by the extreme pitting and scarring inflicted upon it. The wearer had taken pains to daub his power armour with the ashen mud of his last battlefield, obscuring the majority of the hazy red colour that still showed through in places. [[Blackshield|Special attention, however, had been given to the left pauldron: not only was it completely obscured by the Marine's attentions, but parts of the surface had been abraded entirely, utterly destroying the Chapter iconography.]] The Battle-Brother had spoken briefly of his Chapter, not by name, but simply as a lost cause, falling further and further into the darkness with every day that passed. He had tried -- in his capacity as a senior commanding officer -- to clear the taint from within, but to no avail. His due reward for his efforts was to be sent on crusade -- a crusade that rapidly turned sour as Chaos overtook the sector. In addition to all manner of traitors and Xenos, the Battle-Brother had been forced to lead his Astartes against the Emperor's own... a task for which he still grieved. His men had died upon that battlefield, sent to their ignoble fates by a heretic and a madman. That the Battle-Brother survived himself was nothing short of a miracle, and nothing less than a sure sign that he had not yet failed the Emperor. Watch-Commander Boloshoi supervised the repair and resurfacing of the Battle-Brother's artifact panoply himself, as the soot and soil were stripped away and the armour was resurfaced with the black-and-silver of the Ordo Xenos chamber militant. The suit's iconography -- now gone for good -- was now properly obscured by a singular blackness: the Battle-Brother belonged to the Deathwatch now.

"Rise, Brother Solitude," bid the Commander.

"None shahl findd meh wahnting, Commandah."

Alternatively, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2PNJzPpYo0 watch this video.]

==Videos Featuring Indrick Boreale==
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbRGg3e1b68 Spess, Spess BAAAALLLDDDD]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeCfod1XT7E dawn of awesome]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEzIVvOl5Qw The Kaurava campaign did not go well.....]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wo6aue5SPU Unsure heresy upon unsure heresies.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPmn_Fn41sI The reason Soulstorm was never given an official ending is because Captain Boreale actually destroyed it. The real reason he was called a blight on the chapter because his action was supported by the Codex Astartes.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJMLfACod48 His original speech]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT22qYtMskY Another version of Captain Boreale's speech]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr_9fjhnKCk WHAT ''TRULY'' OCCURRED ON KARAUVA.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1zMF53jmbE Say what you will, but Boreale is the only SPHESS MEHREEN crazy awesome enough to do this.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJebI99wqQw Boreale now voices Duke Baldem in his new game: Duke Baldem Fohevah.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2PNJzPpYo0 Dawn of Bald 2: Baldtribution]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY8TQeyNWpQ You have felhed.... As. A. SPESS MAHREEN.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6bxjAj2-54 Not even gaben is safe.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGiNE-FmrLM Indrick Boreale uses his voice to drive his enemies nuts and destroy Kaurava.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfORh9cFDU8 Unreeeal SpaceMarine, Boreale's newest single]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3Ad-qcQfOs Boreale was not the hero Kaurava wanted. But he's the hero Kaurava got.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNK5-uE5JFg The Bald Brothas: Boreale and Diomedes feat.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZfvIg_M5yE This is what happened when Boreale revealed his baldness for the first time.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bncGB024b2E Yet another version of Boreale's speech]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-y9H7pBpxY Boreale meditating.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcUAcAP5VDk Now stariing in his own musical!]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmTLtK-9F-k Boreale getting the music he deserves]

{{Template:Marines-Characters}}

[[Category:Meme]][[Category:FAIL]][[Category: Dawn of War]]

Saint Celestine

2018-05-25T01:47:47Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:C4B5:9D8B:7448:168F:

[[Image:Celestine Art Card.png|thumb|Right|350px|Now you fucked up]]
{{topquote|Despair, and you give yourself to the shadows. Believe, truly believe in the Emperor of Mankind, and you shall walk in His light no matter how dark the path you tread.|Saint Celestine}}

A mysterious [[Living Saint]] with incredible power, '''Saint Celestine''' is strongly implied to be the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor's]] <s> equivalent of a</s> [[daemon prince]]. She is an angelic figure wreathed in light, best known for her ability to raise the faithful dead [[Troll|(including herself)]] back to life. She seems to be significantly older than she appears, as even [[Inquisitor Greyfax]] recognized her after being locked up [[Trazyn the Infinite|Trazyn's]] museum for a few centuries. However, [[Inquisition|the complete and utter lack of knowledge of her days as a Battle Sister]] make it nearly impossible to estimate how long she's been around. She's described as being incredibly inspirational, her personality having the perfect blend of strength, charisma, and charity. Even [[Belisarius Cawl]], a near-emotionless arch-magos, felt galvanized in her presence (and given how the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] views the [[Ecclesiarchy]], that's saying something).

==History==
Very little is known of her pre-Saint life, other than she was a [[Sisters Repentia|Repentia]] of the Order of Our Martyred Lady and participated in the Palatine Crusade. After being apparently killed in battle, her body was recovered by her sisters, who found her wounds miraculously healed. Believing this to be a sign of the Emperor's blessing, they placed her in charge of the Imperial forces for the next days attack. After the battle was an unequivocal success, she rapidly rose through the ranks, leading the Imperium to victory time and time again against the heretics, becoming a beacon of inspiration in the process. While the Imperial forces were massing to attack the sector capital, Celestine left the main force, making a pilgrimage to a crypt on the world of Sanctus Lys, which legend said had once been visited by Saint Katherine.

On the dawn of the next day, she emerged from the crypt, wearing the Armor of Saint Katherine and wielding the fiery Ardent Blade. After this, she was officially declared a [[Living Saint]] and went on a heretic-roasting-rampage, first leading the Imperial forces to victory in the Palatine Crusade, and then onto several crusades and wars of faith after. While she had become an icon to Imperial forces everywhere, the [[Sisters of Battle]] held her in particularly high regard. This lasted until she got [[Exterminatus|nuked]] on Forrax by a [[Heresy|traitorous warmaster]]. After presumably burning him to a crisp, the Sisters of Battle were comforted by the fact that she was undoubtedly with the Emperor.

[[Legion of the Damned|And that's when shit got weird.]] Sightings of Celestine began steadily increasing, typically arriving in battles when the forces of the Imperium were at their most desperate, and disappearing before the dust had settled. In particular, she seemed to have a thing for killing [[Daemon Prince|Daemon Princes]].

[[File:FacebookGiotaTsirou.jpg|620px|thumb|left|Panagiota Tsirou, a 200 pound girl of short stature with unnatural agility that is incompatible with the physical boundaries that her obese biological structure should obviously follow, proving that a twisted disfigurement of reality is already existent, unleashing the incomprehensible influence of the warp in ways too unimaginable for anyone to acquaint with its reflections in our ludicrous lives, redefined by overwhelmingly shocking surprises.]]

[[Image:Celestine Fall of Cadia.jpg|thumb|Right|350px|GTFO]]When the 13th Black Crusade hit full swing, Celestine swooped in with a small fleet of Sororitas ships that she'd rescued from the warp to wreck shit and pray to the Emperor (and she'd already said her prayers). After saving Kasr Kraf by [[Awesome|killing the daemon prince leading the chaos assault and throwing his body off the ramparts]], Celestine started doing what she did best and inspiring the hell out of the beleaguered Imperial forces along with her new Geminae Superia bodyguards (twin Canonesses she'd resurrected during the previous battle). All the while she was receiving prophetic dreams, which she believed were from the Emperor warning her of a future danger. During the Battle of the Elysion Fields, she went toe-to-toe with [[Abaddon]] himself, and although Cawl's pylon shenanigans robbed her of the Emperor's blessings, she still managed to hold her own long enough for Cawl and Greyfax to join in and force Abaddon to retreat into orbit.

Following the demise of Cadia, Celestine was the one who convinced Cawl and the [[Black Templars]] to head down to Klaisus, using her previously mentioned dreams as a guide. She then led the survivors to the webway portal and on to [[Ultramar]] to resurrect [[Roboute Guilliman]].

She later got [[rip and tear|savagely rekt]] by [[Khârn]] in Shroud of Night, who straight-up murdered her guards before chopping the bitch's head right off. Hell of a guy, that Kharn. Considering how casually he offed her, would that make him stronger than Abby?

==On the Subject of Wings==
A problem that plagued Celestine and [[Fags of 4chan|sisterfags]] for years was the disparity between her model and her official artwork. Normally, when Games Workshop produces a new unit for a codex, they make the model first and then give it to an artist so that the picture matches the source material. This was not the case with Celestine, and the artist and modellers were working completely independently of each other. As a result, she had this awesome artwork portraying her as a magnificent angelic figure, and a miniature that had her floating with some cherubim holding her cape up. It even included an idiotic-looking mini-jump pack under the cloak. Thankfully, her new model does not have this issue.

==On The Tabletop==

{| class=wikitable
! || Power || Points || M || WS || BS || S || T || W || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Saint Celestine:''' || 8 || 200 || 12" || 2+ || 2+ || 3 || 3 || 7 || 6 || 9 || 2+/4++
|-
| '''Geminae Superia:''' || 3/model || 25/model || 12" || 3+ || 3+ || 3 || 3 || 2 || 3 || 9 || 2+/4++
|}

'''Keywords:''' Character, Infantry, Jump Pack, Fly

In 8th edition, Celestine still remains one of the best [[Distraction Carnifex]] units in the game, plus she can [[Rip and Tear]] even better. Since she is a character, she and her unit cannot be targeted for shooting unless they are the closest target. Put a blob of Astra Militarum Conscripts in front of her and watch your opponent cry. Plus her new abilities give all Astra Militarum, Adeptus Ministorum and Adeptas Sororitas Shield of Faith ability +1 to invulnerable saves, (6+ for the former two and 5+ for the latter). Just like before, she can restore a Superia to life at the start of each of her turns and when Celestine herself is slain, she returns to life with full wounds on 2+. Also, '''Always take two Superia!'''

Offensively, Celestine is a beast. Her sword is +4 Strength, -3 AP and 2 damage while also being a Heavy Flamer. With 6 attacks, potentially 7 if she is your warlord, she is sure to deal some damage. Her two Superia also carry a Bolt Pistol and Power Sword each. But her real power is not on her weapons. It's in her ability to allow an additional Act of Faith per turn. Acts of Faith are really busted as is, so having two of them (albeit on different units) is x2 busted. Basically, Celestine can charge first turn due to Hand of the Emperor or fight twice each turn due to The Passion. Spirit of the Martyr is also useful to heal wounds on her or get both her Superia back at the same time.

Her main weakness is being toughness 3, thus wounded on 2+ by a lot of heavier weapons.

To sum up, the way to use Celestine is to point her at something and watch her wreck its face within a couple of turns.

===7th Edition===
{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Saint Celestine:''' || 200 || 7 || 7 || 3 || 3 || 5 || 7 || 5 || 10 || 2+\4++
|-
| '''Eleanor\Genevieve:''' || As Above || 5 || 4 || 3 || 3 || 2 || 4 || 2 || 10 || 3+\4++
|}

Celestine is arguably the best [[Distraction Carnifex]] in the entire game. Seriously, it's nigh-impossible to put this bitch down. For starters, She's an Eternal Warrior with 5 wounds, a 2+ armor save, and a 4+ invulnerable save. In addition to that, she's got two 2-wound [[canoness]] bodyguards who have 3+ armor and share her invulnerable save. Should one or more of them die, one will automatically respawn at the beginning of each of Celestine's turns. On top of all that, assuming you actually manage to chew through 9 total wounds, she can resurrect with all wounds and res one of her bodyguards once per game with a successful leadership test.

Alright, so she's functionally unkillable, her offensive capabilities can't be great, right? Nope, with a S5 AP3 Armorbane sword/heavy flamer and the ability to call orbital bombardment, she can be a murder-machine as well. Add her ability to buff nearby Imperial units and you have one of the best HQs in the game. And the best part? She's 200 points. For less than any of [[Dante|The]] [[Logan Grimnar|Big]] <s> [[Marneus Calgar|Three]] </s> [[Roboute Guilliman|Four]], you get a unit that is nearly unkillable, and packs a decent punch to boot. Bring her to battles and send her straight at the biggest, scariest enemy unit. Even if she doesn't beat it, she's all but guaranteed to keep it tied down for the entire game. Her main weaknesses are [[Deep Strike|deep strike]] mishaps, [[Assault Terminators|heavy assault troops]], and [[Lukas the Trickster|"remove with no saves allowed"]] weapons, so be even more wary of those than usual.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Celestine 2e.jpg|Her old model
Image:Celestine 7e.jpg|Her shiny new model
Image:Celestine 7e Close-up.jpg
Image:Geminae Superia Close-up.jpg|The Geminae Superia
Image:Triumverate of the Imperium.png|Celestine with [[Belisarius Cawl|Cawl]] and [[Inquisitor Greyfax|Greyfax]] during the [[Black Crusade|13th Black Crusade]]
Image:Fall of Cadia End.png|After the fall of Cadia
Image:Saintmage.jpg|Back when she was a blonde
Image:Celestine Art 1.jpg|I summon my bird!
Image:Celestine Art 2.jpg
Image:Celestine Art 3.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==External Links==
[https://regimental-standard.com/2016/12/28/join-the-righteous/ Celestine in The Regimental Standard]

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]
[[Category:Imperial]]
[[Category:Sisters of Battle]]

Kaldor Draigo

2018-05-25T00:10:40Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:C4B5:9D8B:7448:168F:

{{Fail}}
{{MattWard}}
{{Skub}}
[[File:Kaldor Draigo vs M'kar the Reborn.jpg|400px|thumb|right|Mary Sue HOOOOOOOOOO! From the looks of it, things are [[not as planned]] for the Lord of Change.]]

'''Kaldor Draigo''' is the '''Supreme''' Grand Master ''(Don't forget the [[Azrael|Supreme]] part)'' One True Sue of the [[Grey Knights]] and a probably the greatest living loyalist in the 41st Millenium... and a ridiculously obnoxious thorn in the side of anyone who [[Dark Angels|<s>is an enemy of the emperor</s>]] isn't an obnoxious prepubescent BITCH. And the worst thing is that we can't get rid of the thorn.

==Origins in the Fluff==
Draigo first showed up from out of no-where in [[Matt Ward]]'s [[Skub|famous]] Grey Knights 5th Edition codex, previously there had been no mention of the character anywhere, but suddenly we were presented with this all new guy, with a list of deeds equivalent / greater than any of the established 40k heavies, including several [[Primarchs]], yet somehow completely and unbelievably infallible.

As a lowly Battle-Brother he banished the [[M'kar|Daemon Prince M'kar the Reborn]] and he has risen steadily through the ranks to become the '''SUPREME''' Grand Master Chosen of the most secretive Chapter of [[Space Marines]]. Yet ever since his other battle with [[M'kar]], Draigo has been cursed to a life within the Warp, doomed to walk within the [[Chaos|Realm of Chaos]], [[Mary Sue|to remain pure when constantly assailed by Chaos]] and to show fortitude and personal strength [[Mary Sue|that is beyond comprehensible measure]]. ''(In other words, he's got [[Plot armor]] of a scale equivalent to a 1++ unmodifiable save)''

But while Draigo lives, he will [[troll|prevail]], and one day, he will return.

===Wait this sounds so familiar... Oh, son of a bitch!===
''Long ago in a distant land, I, M'kar, the shape-shifting Master of Chaos, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish Grey Knight warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in space and flung him into the Warp, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to real-space, and undo the evil that is Chaos!''

[[Samurai Jack|Dammit, Matt Ward's ripping off stories better than his own again.]]

To be fair, Samurai Jack [[heresy|is not that good]], so Matt's version can hardly be worse. Samurai Jack is an animated series that itself ripped off from Frank Miller's Rönin; if you haven't read that Samurai Jack's like a less violent, samurai-and-fantasy-based version of [[Fist of the North Star]]. Though Matt Ward's fluff is still awful and unworthy of even sharing the same paragraph as those three.

===Listings of Deeds===
Kaldor Draigo is famous for:
*Killing a Daemon Prince in his first combat action
*Banishing Daemon [[Primarch]] [[Mortarion]] back to the warp, somehow carving the name of the previous supreme grand master Geronitan (a fucking long name) into the heart of said Daemon Primarch ''without contracting space daemon AIDS in the process''
**to put this insanity in perspective, try cursive writing with a Chainsaw (block letters are difficult in wood to begin with, let alone flesh) while in the middle of an industrial toxic waste dump <s>without any protection.</s> wearing a punctured HAZMAT suit. Unless you have Plot Armor, then it's pretty sensible.
***Another idea would be to go and listen to the audio drama "Mortarion's heart", this will resolve the issues that people have with this event.
*Single-handedly holding off a daemon horde for two days in real space
*Killing a Daemon Prince with a broken sword,
*Killing one of [[Khorne]]'s strongest [[Bloodthirster]]s with little to no weaponry
*Taking said Bloodthirster's axe and reforging it into a sword for his own personal use WITH HIS MIND (you know, despite it being an obvious weapon of a Daemon and automatically a corrupting influence just to hold, let alone press your bare mind against(just don't tell this to Logan Grimnar, m'kay?))
*Slaying 6 of Slaanesh's chosen Daemonettes (when setting one's gaze upon them is enough to instantly force submission from any mortal, no matter how strong-willed)
*Setting fire to Nurgle's garden (again, whilst somehow miraculously avoiding space daemon [[AIDS]])
*Walking into the City of Tzeentch and single-handedly smashing it to rubble, which, given that the City of Tzeentch comprises geometry which is literally impossible, MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE <strike>''(maybe he just smashes the impossible buildings into equally-impossible rubble?)</strike> {{BLAM|Who the fuck gave Matt Ward his editing privileges back?!}}'' and slaying countless daemons whilst being trapped in warpspace. He can also be summoned by chaos cultists unwittingly instead of a daemon, no sooner returning to the Warp than after slaying them all.
**To be a cunt, Great Boss [[Tuska Daemon-Killa|Tuska the Demon-killa]] did that to several different places with impossible geometry during his WAAAGH! into the warp... but then again, those are [[Orks]], for whom impossible shit forms the backbone of their war machinery, he had an army and artillery with him so they could've [[Dakka|fired in all directions]], he had an army with him that took losses as they went and they eventually were defeated, in a sense '''DEFEETED? WE'Z STUCK IN IN AN ENDLESS WAAAGH!!! WHERE U KAN COME BACK FO' MOAR EVVRY TIME U GET ZOGGED! AN' WE'Z NEVAH RUN OUTTA ENEMIEZ! GREAT BOSS DEMONA-KILLA IZ DA BEST BOSS EVAH!''')

[[File:FacebookGiotaTsirou.jpg|620px|thumb|left|Panagiota Tsirou, a 200 pound girl of short stature with unnatural agility that is incompatible with the physical boundaries that her obese biological structure should obviously follow, proving that a twisted disfigurement of reality is already existent, unleashing the incomprehensible influence of the warp in ways too unimaginable for anyone to acquaint with its reflections in our ludicrous lives, redefined by overwhelmingly shocking surprises.]]

===Additional Bullshit===
If anyone needed additional proof that Matt Ward is too busy jacking off at the thought of his own fluffing skills to actually pay any attention to what he's writing, just look at the chronology of Draigo's entry. He initially distinguishes himself in 799.M41 during his first encounter with M'Kar, earning the rank of Justicar. The next confrontation with M'Kar occurs 'Two hundred years to the day since Draigo's victory on Acralem' (i.e. 999.M41). 999.M41; this is confirmed in the 'Deeds of Legend' section of the Codex as well. Later on in his fluff entry, when he returns for the first time to the mortal plane, he has been 'clearly long adrift in time, for he knew [those Grey Knights he encountered] not'. Unless we're intended to assume that his entry is to be read as though in the future, i.e. sometime well after the END of the 41st Millennium, then Kaldor "''I'm-a-fucking-badass-who-can-survive-indefinitely-in-the-Warp''" Draigo has really only been AWAY from the mortal plane for, at most, a few months. Doubtless, as we all know, time passes differently in the Warp. Kaldor himself may be experiencing years or centuries there while time crawls linearly along for everyone in the Prime Material, but that would have zero impact on the age and number of surviving, recognizable members of the Grey Knights whom he left behind. Giving Mr. Ward the benefit of the doubt (which seems unfair to readers), either Kaldor is being randomly deposited into points in the distant PAST, or we're intended to pretend all Grey Knight battles that include him are taking place in the distant FUTURE; without one of these two assumptions, only two other alternatives remain: Draigo has gone senile, or; he was too big a snob to ever learn the names or faces of those serving under him. This, of course, is if we want to give Matt Ward any credit at all. In other words, the above is a concrete example of BAD WRITING. What the fuck more do you want, GW? Who's he fluffing on your board of directors, that you've retained such a piss-poor hack for so long?

Of course, the Warp's tendency to approach time in a non-linear fashion most certainly doesn't preclude the possibility of Draigo getting shat out in the past or, hell, even in an alternate universe. <s>Just pray that Ward doesn't have him encounter Rawbutt Girlyman on one of his jaunts.</s> <s>(Don't give Matt Ward any ideas!)</s> TOO LATE! [[Roboute Guilliman|Robot Girlyman]] is back, this could happen!

Although to be fair, the warp CAN do everything just described and other codex writers have done so. Most notably an Ork Waaagh! that was sent back to JUST before its start and the warboss killed himself to get two of his favorite gun.

===Wut?===
Clearly, the only explanation for the sheer levels of retardation and gratuitous [[Matt Ward|canon-rape]] Draigo represents is the simplest one: That Draigo is, in fact, defeated - Chaos cannot be beaten in its own realm of non-space because of the mere fact that chaotic beings are immortal, after all, and none of the above is true. (though psykers can "technically" kill chaos daemons for good in the warp, it requires an amount of psychic energy and willpower that's far beyond the norm)

Right now, this very moment,(in the far future) Draigo is in fact a shredded pile of torn flesh and shattered bone after having his ass handed to him by the above Lord of Change and Bloodthirster, who proceeded to step in whilst the Lord kept him distracted - [[Just as planned]]. This pile of broken ex-marine is also gushing ooze and phlegm and pus as he was infected with every blight and pox Nurgle has to offer. This shredded, oozing pile....''thing'', is also being raped and violated in the most unspeakable and vile ways by the Daemonettes of Slaanesh.

And so it shall continue, for all eternity. [[Troll|Because every single Chaos God finds it fucking hilarious]].

The only reason he thinks "all is well" is because Tzeentch thought he'd have a bit fun with Draigo. He stuck Draigo into a matrix-esque dream world where everything goes his way and is just waiting for Draigo to climb as high as he can. This dream world will probably last until Draigo has crushed the Chaos gods themselves and all their armies beneath his feet and caused the God-Emperor himself to rise from the throne and suck him off!

Then, at the "funniest" possible moment, right as his bolter is about to fire its payload (and we're not talking about the one on his wrist), Tzeentch will rip it all away from him, Draigo will wake up and see what has really become of him and weep tears of utter loss and despair! "[[Just as planned]]!"

While all that's happened, Draigo thought to himself: "I have no mouth, but I must scream".

At least that's what the heretics want you to think.

[[File:Jelly thing.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Kaldor Draigo, what really happened to him.]]

<s>Admittedly, Draigo's fluff is pretty badass, but still canon-rape (no pun inten- wait, pun totally intended).</s> There is nothing awesome about someone who just goes around fucking everything up with zero challenge. It's like people who write stories about how their super awesome character killed the [[Lady_of_Pain|Lady of Pain]] or something.

//{{BLAM|''Inquisitor's Note: While the above is no doubt the fevered ramblings of a mind crying out for the Emperor's peace there is a small measure of truth in it. Our [[canon|most blessed and sanctified scriptures]] tell us that Lord Draigo's victories in the warp are indeed pyrrhic ones, and that every daemon slain and fortress toppled shortly rights itself. This is his curse and only when, by the Emperor's blessing, he returns to the materium will he be able to enact any lasting defeats on the ruinous powers.}}//

//{{BLAM|''Historitor 165.82.108.238 remanded to custody for Inquisitorial review.}}//

++{{BLAM|''Thought for the Day: Many are the faces of the enemy, many are the hands of the enemy.''}}++

Alternatively you could also accept the less serious but popular fanon that Kaldor Draigo is actually traversing the Warp while high on drugs. His latent psychic abilities and drug-fueled insanity could technically allow him to shape his battles in the Warp to go in his favor. That or Draigo has almost [[Malcador]] levels of psychic abilities, the strain of which has caused him to go completely bat-shite insane, rendering the Warp into his own personal plaything to a certain extent.

===Mat Ward Sez===
''"Lord Kaldor Draigo is a combat monster - there's no other way to describe him. He's lethal against non-daemonic foes, with plenty of Strength 5 force weapon attacks to lay a beat down. When faced with hated Daemons, his Titansword becomes Strength 10, ensuring a pretty one-sided fight in his favour. Even if his enemy survives, Draigo's storm shield is sure to keep him fighting. And on top of all of this, Draigo is a Grand Master, able to bestow extra abilities on his allies. Want your Dreadknight to capture objectives? Draigo can make that happen. Want a Scouting screen of Dreadnoughts? Draigo can make it happen. He's the best possible way to keep your opponent on his toes."''

In summary: HE MAKES IT HAPPEN.
(So does [[Creed]] but unlike Draigo he does OP with [[awesome|Style]])

==Tabletop==
In lab tests conducted on /tg/, Kaldor Draigo loses to [[Abaddon]] the Despoiler [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7wtNOkuHo roughly 73.5% of the time]. But then again Abaddon is meant to be a high-cost, point-sink, cc-beatstick who doesn't have arms or do anything to boost his own army...

===6th Edition===
Like Abaddon, Kaldor's amazing super awesome blade of Mary Sue has been reduced to AP3, but Abaddon was important enough to get FAQ'd back to AP2! This means anything, ANYTHING, with 2+ save will survive combat with Draigo. Even a [[Tau|weaboo space communist]] wearing iridium armor. Or a Meganob. Or a Captain in artificer armor...if you ignore that Draigo's weapon has the Force special rule, which can cause Instant Death in compensation (which is fine and dandy until he gets challenged by a Phoenix Lord). AP3 admittedly is somewhat of a blow, but this is compensated for against more dangerous foes with its latent abilities and his own 3++ save.

That or just charge a Chaos Lord in Terminator armour with <s>Bloodfeeder</s> '''THE MURDER SWORD''' or the Axe of Blind Fury. Naw, the Lord would have to fail a single save to get mindraped.

===7th edition===
While Draigo's beloved Titansword got upped back to AP2, he himself became far more expensive as a tool, as he is now relegated to the Lords of War Slot -- where Superheavies live -- for a heaping 245 Points. This means that he can't be accessed by himself, he needs someone else in the HQ slot to unlock him. Unless you're running unbound, the system used exclusively by [[This Guy]]'s fluff games and [[That Guy]]'s absolute cheesiness. Actually the former sounds kind awesome, to represent a battle where the GK's command structure has been slain but then Draigo pops out of the Warp with a nose full of warp dust.

He still has his insane 2+/3++ save thanks to his Termie Armor and singular Storm Shield. His Force blade is still S+3 with AP2 Master-Crafted, with the ability to re-roll to-wound against Daemons when he uses Force. That said, Force is now deniable, thus you should expect that they will, and in force. Aside from that, he has Banishment (which weakens Daemons' invuls), Hammerhand (Upping him to an S9 murder machine), Gate of Infinity (For sudden Deep-Strikes anywhere), and Purge Soul (To make a sudden hit). This solves one of the reason he was hated: the utter ability to roll whatever you wanted. Without Biomancy or Telepathy, he's no longer invincible.

As a commander, he is now not very worthwhile, with the removal of Grand Strategy and his Warlord Trait now giving him Hatred (Daemons) and an easier time casting Banishment and...that's it. He can no longer make Paladins troops either, so now you've lost more reason to take them over a cheaper ML3 Librarian with both the Domina Liber Daemonica and a Warlord Trait to give him SIX FUCKING POWERS IN SANCTIC. Quite frankly, he's only useful as the mother of all beatsticks.

===8th edition===
Draigo's sword became S+4 AP-4, and does a flat 3 damage now in the place of Instant Death. Also, he gives himself and all Grey Knight units within 6" of him the ability to re-roll all misses in shooting and close combat. He still has his 2+/3++ thanks to his Terminator Armor and Storm Shield. His warlord trait, Daemon Slayer, is still heavily situational at best (read: useless). Basically, he's now not totally useless if he's not in close combat.

==Silver(ed) Knight==
The 6E Daemons Codex detailed the journey a "Knight of the Adeptus Astartes in silvered armor "whose will was as strong as silvered adamantium" braving the many circles of the Palace of Slaanesh, cutting down a few daemonettes and mortal thralls, only to kneel before the Prince of Pleasures himself, in the guise of a young, androgynous boy who cowed the Knight with absolute and righteous innocence. Too many people believe that it's Draigo because of their seething spite for the Ward, but a more rational mind could realize that the Grey Knights aren't the only people wearing silver armour. There's still the [[Silver Skulls]], [[Doom Eagles]], and the [[Iron Snakes]], all who wear silver Power Armour and have more of a likelihood to be corrupted (Especially if you consider the presumed origins that the Skulls are actually loyalist Iron Warriors)

'''Alternate take:''' How many other Marines are actually running around the Warp, much less loyalist Marines? At the very least, even if it is Draigo it took the god himself to outright convert him with a touch of his "scepter" so someone at least got the idea of what it should take to cause a Grey Knight to just flip to the side of Chaos for no reason. That or maybe their geneseed makes them hot for traps. Either way it's not clear when this happened, so it could be in the future or an alternate timeline since the Warp doesn't care about your single direction flow of time. Assuming it's not some weird symbolic thing.

==Placed in the hands of other authors==
C.Z. Dunn has recently taken a crack at Draigo in the novelization of the Pandorax Campaign. Here, Draigo is decidedly NOT a <s>Mary Sue</s> Gary Sue anymore, with "Supreme Grand Master" taken in the same context as [[Azrael]]. Dunn doesn't nerf Draigo, he still kicks a ton of daemon ass, but he doesn't go around soloing Bloodthirsters without backup or anything so asinine. Draigo is also shown to be moderately flawed as a character, [[Avitus|hot-headed and aggressive]] -- this is to contrast him with the stubborn and conservative Azrael (who takes until chapter 14 to get off his ass and fight smart, though when he finally does he actually fights ''really smart'' like a true Space Marine). He's also a [[Troll|top-tier dick]] who trolls Azrael about all the prisoners they've been taking back to [[the Rock]] and makes several threats that he'll get the High Lords of Terra to investigate if the Dark Angels don't comply. (Haters gonna hate.)

The Mortarion's Heart Audio Drama, also has him troll his bodyguard, and the Inquisition (in fact his first act as Supreme Grand Master is to tell the one bugging the Knights to go fuck himself). Also we see just what got him the job; he was simply the only one with enough skill to even try to beat Mortarion, even Draigo admitted he was a horrible choice, but that didn't matter since he would most likely die anyway. And, when he does fight Mortarion he gets the shit beat out of him and the entire 1st Brotherhood killed by Mortarion's hand and only gains the advantage with Mortarion's true name which causes the Primarch to have the equivalent of a seizure and then uses Mortarion's antithesis name to banish him.

This isn't too shocking as Draigo is a fairly new character and only has about two pages to himself within the codex compare to Dunn's few hundred. Even a good writer would have trouble balancing both a good character AND a badass who leads an army of daemon killers.

===The Plague of Madness===
The 7E Codex also takes steps to reduce the fucking cheese of Draigo by showing him as a competent commander before his banishment, and how he only became relevant because he was able to beat up M'Kar, the Daemon Prince of Jobbers.

In "The Plague of Madness" witten in 7Ed, Draigo has to bring out three whole brotherhoods of knights because some idiot [[Inquisitor]] tried to mess with a [[Lord of Change]] named "Ix'thar'ganix" by binding it to her will and using his power for the good of the Imperium. Ganix was both amused and infuriated at the prospect of a mortal trying to outdick him, so when the Inquisitor summoned the daemon to bind it; Ganix had a [[Great Unclean One]] named Lurgon take his place. Because the wards meant to bind Ganix didn't work with another daemon; Lurgon possesed the Inquisitor and corrupt her posse to the cause of Nurgle. Things later spiraled into madness after Lurgon corrupted the system of Decimalus after the Inquisitor's drifting ship happened upon it.

Draigo attempted to convince the Grey Knights to send a large force to apprehend both Ix'thar'ganix and Lurgon, which after some political maneuvering, he managed to get. After [[Arvann Stern]] secured an orbital fortress from some daemons, Draigo made it planetside and actually saved some Sisters of Battle from a death by daemon-nomming. After that, Draigo's band of merry men and the surviving Sisters attempted to break through a literal sea of daemons by running them over with Land Raiders and [[Rhino Transport|MEHTAL BAWKSES]], with the intent of taking the spire that housed Lurgon. Draigo's Raider however, got stuck after running over so many daemons and was eventually destroyed after a daemonblade ran through it. Thrown out of the tank, he attempted to solo an entire horde by himself and rescue his brothers still trapped inside the Land Raider.

In a completely different way of portrayal; Draigo was actually pretty close to being overwhelmed. He was struck and held down by the legion of daemons around him and would have died if it wasn't for the surviving battle Sisters coming to his aid and gunning down the horde around him. And instead of something retarded like using the Sisters' blood for protection or suddenly getting super strength and ripping his way towards the spire; he motioned a request for the sisters to buy them time while he and the survivors make a mad dash for the spire and end this insanity. The writer to this has already undone the idiocy of the [[Khornate Knights]], and did so while keeping everyone's dignity. A step up amid a codex widely considered to be a step down crunchwise.

===Other counterpoints===
It has recently been posited that Draigo's ability to traverse the Warp and wreak havoc on the Ruinous Powers with relative ease is due not to Gary Sue bullshit powers, but to the nature of the Warp itself. One of the only constants of the Warp is that it is shaped by the belief and emotion of sentient beings with psychic ability, however small. Because of this, it is possible that a being with vast psychic ability and great faith (say, a Grey Knight ''Supreme'' Grand Master) would be able to use his belief in himself and in the Emperor to [[Ork|shape the surrounding Empyrean to match this belief]] in a manner similar to daemons themselves. It also explains why things go back to normal once he leaves, since he is no longer there to affect that portion of the Warp directly. In other words, Draigo cuts a [[Bloody Path|bloody path]] through the Sea of Souls because he believes he can, and the Warp, ahem, makes it happen. If one asks why other powerful psykers can't do it, they can to a degree; see [[Tuska Daemon-Killa]]. As for Eldar, Slaanesh would nab them the moment they entered the Warp. Other human psykers don't tend to try to interact with the Warp too much but it is quite likely they'd be able to some extent. Incidentally, this effectively makes Draigo a ''Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann'' character, and that is actually kind of awesome.

In addition, people never seem to think that his Aegis warded armour (Terminator armour, which I believe to contain a small Gellar Field, no less) is specifically designed to protect the wearer from the Warp, that and Grey Knight [[Interceptor Squad]]s go through the Warp on a regular basis, so Draigo should, in theory have no trouble traversing the Warp.

Also, as a number of people have pointed out, the Codex itself flat out states that nothing he's doing is having any lasting effect on the Chaos Gods. Plus, his first major appearance in a novel has him delivering an impressive verbal smackdown on [[Azrael]] regarding the [[Dark Angels]]' obsession with making sure nobody discovers the truth about the <s>[[Fallen Angels]]</s> UNRELATED TRATIORS WHO CERTAINLY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE DARK ANGELS. Which makes him slightly more human.

==[[Warhammer Fantasy]]==
There has been a sighting of what might be Draigo in the Warhammer Fantasyverse - specifically, in the fluff book for the ''Khaine'' splat of [[The End Times]].

During Araloth's travels into the Realm of Chaos, to rescue [[Shallya]] from the mansion of [[Nurgle]], the final traveling companion he picks up is a knight, a "giant of a man" whose armor "gleams like silver" and whose "speech is strange" (why does Kaldor decide to help Eldar?). Upon reaching the mansion of Nurgle, the knight sacrifices himself so the rest of the party can enter, explaining he has "made something of a name for himself since his arrival in the benighted realm" and so he is sure to draw their attention. More notably, when he makes his sacrificial charge, it's mentioned that he sweeps out his hand and blue fire explodes amongst the daemon's ranks. It's also been mentioned that the Warp connects Fantasy and 40k.

Worth mentioning that not only are Wood Elves the Spiritual Liege's favorite Fantasy faction, but this was one of the last things he wrote for Games Workshop before leaving the company. Take it as you will.

That said, if this is Draigo, he is certainly not the all-powerful Gary Sue of other depictions; when Araloth finds him, he has been chained down in a glade in Nurgle's garden, at one point he gets ambushed by a [[Beast of Nurgle]] (when it ''jumps out of a tree and lands on him''), and rather than defeating the daemons he distracts, Araloth leaves the mansion to find his broken body impaled upon a spear. Yes, he's still alive, and the mad scholar the Wood Elf is traveling with (who may in fact be Richter Kleiss, the writer of the Liber Chaotica) explains that the knight is "beyond the power of the daemons" and will "take his own revenge in due course", but that is attributed to being "the way of things in the Realm of Chaos" rather than anything inherent to Draigo (if he is Draigo).

It's worth noting that the description would also fit a Stormcast Eternal of the Hallowed Knights chapter from Age of Sigmar, which was under development at the time and is technically the same setting. Though, the Sigmarine couldn't fire blue lightning out of his hands, nor was he "invincible."

In another story, whilst in the warp, Draigo sees a "world ruled over by a self-styled God-king, where magic flows through the very wind." He ultimately decides not to go there, thus proving himself far more intelligent than he has ever been given credit for.

==See Also==
*[[FAIL|Fail]]
*[[Matt Ward]]
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/598617 What Draigo's actually doing in the Warp]
*[[Doom|The character draigo is basically copy pasted from]]
[[Category:Space Marines Chapter Masters]]

== Gallery ==
<gallery>
File:Draigo.jpg|[[Warhammer 40,000 7th edition|We spoke too soon.]]
File:Draigo2.jpg| well that just got weird...
File:Raven.jpg|STEEL REIHN
File:RAPE TRAIN.jpg|HE MAKES IT HAPPEN
File:Supreme_Grand_Troll.jpg|PROBLEM, DAEMONS?
File:Samurai draigo.jpg|Foolish Grey Knight.
File:Dreadknight.jpg|U Mad, Dreadnoughtfags?
File:Draigo codex2.jpg|Son of a bitch even gets his own codex.
File:Hemakesithappen.png|Still a shitload better than a Primarch
File:DraigoDullSurprise.png|Draigo is a very emotive person.
</gallery>

{{Marines-Characters}}

[[Category:Mary Sue]][[Category:FAIL]][[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]

Mary Sue

2018-05-24T23:56:10Z

2A02:587:3A03:4900:C4B5:9D8B:7448:168F:

[[Category:Mary Sue]]
{{HurfDurf}}

[[Image:Marysuetest.jpg|500px|right]]
[[File:FacebookGiotaTsirou.jpg|620px|thumb|left|Panagiota Tsirou, a 200 pound girl of short stature with unnatural agility that is incompatible with the physical boundaries that her obese biological structure should obviously follow, proving that a twisted disfigurement of reality is already existent, unleashing the incomprehensible influence of the warp in ways too unimaginable for anyone to acquaint with its reflections in our ludicrous lives, redefined by overwhelmingly shocking surprises.]]

Originally, a '''Mary Sue''' is a character that is shamelessly self-inserted, poorly developed, without flaws and stupidly overpowered. [[/tg/]] hates [[:Category:Mary Sue|Mary Sues]].

Unfortunately, after so much [[rage]] and so many [[troll]] threads, /tg/'s definition of Mary Sue has become blurred to the point that any character at all can be (and probably has been) accused of being a Mary Sue on even the flimsiest of pretenses.

Some accept nothing less than the above description, and will sooner gut you then look twice if you say it's anything else. Others prefer a more generalized definition, which refers to an overly-idealized character who exerts an unjust amount of influence upon their respective setting or story. Others still carry this meaning out to extremes and use the term to describe anyone who isn't a homeless junkie or a brooding sociopath with an alignment of Chaotic Batshit Bonkers.

However, there is a conundrum regarding the definition. If the character is overpowered, idealized and part of an established story (such as some portrayals of Wolverine and Batman), some say that this is not a Mary Sue, as they are a canon character in an original story. For them, the term "Canon Sue" is used. The only difference between a Mary Sue and a Canon Sue (I'd like to take the time to apologize to any real-life people named "Sue" who are reading this) is a Canon Sue is an established character in the story/wish-fulfillment for the creator of the story (NOTE: few people will admit if the fictional character they create is for wish-fulfillment). For the sake of this page, the definition of Mary Sue will also include Canon Sues.

Another problem is when people use the term "Mary Sue" to refer to a "creator's pet"; a character that part of the fanbase dislikes but is adored by the creator of the character and gets treatment such as increasing focus, magnifying the importance of their role, and having the other characters talk about how awesome they are in painful ignorance — or sometimes in spite — of the fans' obvious hatred. This is not a Mary Sue though a character can be both; the two types share common traits and a Creator's Pet is more easily defined. For example; [[Marneus Calgar]] is a creator's pet, while some characters who are both Mary Sues and creator's pets are [[World of Warcraft| Sylvanas (formerly Thrall too until recently)]], [[Alice]] and [[Twilight|Bella]].

It is worth noting, however, that very rarely, authors have the skill to pull off the Mary Sue, creating a character of such epic awesomeness (e.g. [[Star Trek|Jean Luc Picard]]) that no one gives a shit.

Before you ask: Male versions of Mary Sue (and there are plenty) are known as Gary Stu or Marty Stu (both work, with usage depending on whether you prefer it to share initials or to rhyme), although for the purposes of sanity, we'll default to "Mary Sue" when referring to them.

==Origin of the Concept==
The name "Mary Sue" comes from a parody of shitty [[Star Trek]] fanfiction called [http://www.wiccananime.com/amslt/amslttrekkiestale ''A Trekkie's Tale''] (no, seriously, that's the origin, look it up if you don't believe me). First written in [[Old School Roleplaying|1974]] by Paula Smith, the original Lieutenant Mary Sue was a parody of the half-Vulcan jailbait and other shameless self-inserts that had been clogging up the Star Trek fanfic magazines. The trolling was so epic that her name became permanently ingrained in the vocabulary of every fandom on the planet, and this makes Paula Smith a paragon of trolls.

The term is commonly used by [[troll]]s, and can most easily be spotted by a blanket accusation of a character being a Sue without attempting to justify actual reasons behind it. More clever trolls will attempt to offer some explanation that is deliberately intended to get under the offended party's skin.

==A Few Special Cases of Sues==
Here are a few complicating factors in any simple definition of what "Mary Sue" means, because critics are mean like that:

===Villain Sues===
Note that the Mary Sue need not be the hero of the piece. A large minority of Sues are villains (either protagonist or antagonist).

Some well-known characters with a tendency in the hands of bad writers to become Villain Sues include [[Batman | The Joker]], Magneto, Doctor Doom, and [[Star Wars | Admiral Thrawn]]. And then there's the flat-out Villain Sues in a single writer's canon, such as Red Hulk's initial appearances, or the show version of Ramsay Bolton. Or, to be more directly /tg/ relevant, [[Fabius Bile]] and [[World of Darkness | Samuel Haight]].

===Sue Species And Orders===
Further, it's possible for the Sueness to be spread across an entire species or other group of people. The accusation is more commonly (and more properly) thrown around on the species side of that line (Internalized Fantastic Racism be a Real World thing, yo). The best-known cases of species-wide-Suedom are probably [[Chakats]] and any given [[Elf]]aboos' version of Elves.

===The AntiSue and Sympathy Sue===
You'd think that the opposite of a Mary Sue wouldn't be a kind of Mary Sue all it's own? Well, you'd be wrong. Comes in two flavors:

* The perpetrator of the Sue might think "I'll just pull a George Costanza, and do the opposite of my instincts!", not recognizing that what made their instincts bad was more in amplitude than in direction.
* The perpetrator of the Sue is going for Sympathy. Which, again, is only a change in direction, not in amplitude.

===The Comedy Sue===
This is where a Character is a Sue and they are utterly perfect, but the audience is not supposed to be in awe of how good they are, we are supposed to laugh at the ridiculousness of it.

This kind of Sue can actually work; for examples, see the anime "Haven't You Heard I'm Sakamoto" and to a lesser extent "One Punch Man" or even Popeye at times for examples of this kind of Sue. They never fail, but we're suppose to laugh at them doing it.

The methods used for this humor range from deconstructive parodies (e.g. "We've needed a new house here at Hogwarts to accommodate all the...special girls, so welcome to House Sparklypoo!") to straight deconstruction (Take One Punch Man's Caped Baldy: instead of people fawning over him, nobody believes his feats and call him a fraud, while he's also constantly frustrated by the lack of a good challenge) to anti-climax (God-Man, pictured below in this article) to the whole thing being a mere joke delivery system (classic Bugs Bunny or Popeye cartoons).

'''''However''''', in order for this to work you need your tongue so far up your cheek it's basically bored out through the other sides, and you actually need talent. And the talent part applies even when the character exists solely for joke delivery (and thus requires no characterization beyond a couple of basic traits).

==How Can I Tell If My Character Is A Mary Sue?==
Each "Yes" answer gives your character a piece of Mary Sueness.
[[File:God-Man.gif|thumb|300px|right|God-Man, providing a particularly extreme example]]
* Does their personal morality always perfectly match objective reality? To put it another way, is there no difference between describing their opinion and simply narrating what was actually going on in a scene?
* Do they start the story at the pinnacle of achievement and have no way to grow or improve?
** Or do their new skills and abilities come from your ass at just the time they need them?
* Do they have unexplained frequent good luck, even when by all logic they should fail in that area?
* Is it a fan character that is better than the canon characters? (As in, "more powerful and gets all the attention", not "better written". If it's the latter, all the power to you.)
* Do they have physical features, powers or items that are impossible to have or extremely rare going by the rules of the setting (ie; a human with cat eyes and wings with no explanation in real-world based fiction, or a ridiculous item such as a weapon which is [[Noise Marines|chainsaw, electric-guitar and machine-gun combined]] in a swords-and-sorcery setting)?
* Do they have the most powerful ability or power in a setting, without any sacrifices? (For example, a character that can use magic which would destroy any enemy, without any negative effects. But if a character has that ability, and it reduces his lifespan, damages him forever and/or kills everyone including his comrades, it's not ''that'' overpowered.)
* Are they connected to the canon characters or do they become connected to them? This usually takes the form of being a "long-lost" relative or love interest to a canon character.
* Do they get a lot of shilling? For example; do all the canon characters suddenly start talking about a fan character, with their presence in the story largely relegated to providing opportunities for the new character to show how pure, powerful, good-hearted, etc they are?
* Do you never allow other characters to dislike them?
** [[Eragon|Or do you punish those other characters for disliking your character by portraying them negatively and/or making something terrible happen to them]]? (For example; making them unlikable, a secondary villain, or having the one character that dislikes the Mary Sue "coincidentally" have their home destroyed)
* Are they someone's self-proclaimed [[furry|fursona]]? (If so, stop reading this list and burn them for [[heresy]]).
** The Sonichu exception: If the author is making fun of ''somebody else's'' fursona, and isn't a furry themselves, everything is perfectly fine, at least as far as Mary Suedom is concerned.
* Do they always make good decisions? And/or bad ones that are suddenly revealed to have been a good choice?
* Do you use absolutes like "always," "everybody," or "never" when describing their ''abilities''? (Those word being used to describe their ''behavior'' are usually okay, if slightly suspect (bad writers have an attraction to absolutes).)
* Do they feature an entirely contrived "weakness" that doesn't affect them any time it would harm them (such as being clumsy ''unless'' they are required to perform a great feat of athleticism) or isn't really a weakness (such as being too kind or righteous "for their own good") which was clearly added solely so the author could point to it when accused of writing a Sue?
* Is the main problem in the story one that this character can easily fix or solve on their own? (Doesn't count if they're the only character in the story).
*Do they have powers that no-one else has.
* Is it a protagonist character written by Matt Ward, Kim Dal Young, Stephenie Mayer, Ayn Rand or Terry <del>Good</del>Badkind? (Note, a Mary Sue can be written by someone who's none of these people.)

Since then, it's been realized that a character doesn't need to be a self-insert to be a Mary Sue, but it helps. Everyone has their own criteria for what makes one, but the big three traits are:
#They are super-powerful/hyper-competent. In established settings, usually more so than canon characters. Better leadership skills than a McDohl, faster than Sonic, etc.
#The story completely revolves around them, even in... no, ESPECIALLY in established settings.
#They can do no wrong. Everyone loves the Mary Sue and defends them even against perfectly reasonable concerns, invariably demonizing people that make these concerns.

Bonus points:
#The Mary Sue's competence doesn't match the creator's knowledge, leading to things like "The greatest Scorpion Clan shinobi EVAR" walking around in broad daylight in stereotypical ninja gear.
#The Mary Sue is a hypocritical monster and the creator is totally blind to this fact.
#Other characters comment on how much better at their own skills the Mary Sue is like they're happy for her, even if the character is known for being arrogant and standoff-ish.
#Characters that don't react well to the Sue's 'harmless pranks' see the light and begin to love the Mary Sue as well.
#Those that don't turn out to be evil spies or something.

A lot of traits (e.g. too-long-names and heterochrome eyes) are assumed to be signs of Mary Sues, but in themselves don't make a character one. This is because the "But I'm '''''Specul'''''" features are more a symptom than a cause, and all of them can be used in a non-Sueish manner (for example, a character with a twenty-part name is meant by the author to be taken as overly pretentious, and is reacted to in-universe as such).
 

==Not Really Mary Sue==

There are many cases of the "Mary Sue" accusation being used against characters who aren't '''quite''' Sues.

Remember, one of the defining traits of Mary Sue is in her relation to the author; either the author sees her as herself/himself, or views her as fap or schlick material (or worse, waifu material).

As a general rule: If the character makes a mistake, and it's clear that '''the author''' understands that the decision is a mistake, then they're probably not fully a Mary Sue.

==Negating the Mary Sue==
Interestingly, there hasn't been really much written about how to defeat a May Sue aside from trolling, but we may identify a few ways to deal with Mary Sues and even Canon Sues:
*The first one, and quite accessible is character development, while this implies a risk of expanding the infection it is possible to remove a Sue status with a good writer either making fanfiction or a spin-off where the Mary Sue is changed for the better. Examples of this has been seen in long-existent characters which, due to good writing, become more down to earth, with the added bonus of annoying fans of the Sue period of time to no end. After all, one fanfic denies another.
*The second one is retcon, as the easiest way to annihilate a Mary Sue is to achieve the general consensus that it never happened. This is harder of course, as it requires the creators recognizing they made the wrong decisions or at least conceding to the fans. It can happen, but it can only be through official involvement, which requires a lot of fan reaction to happen.
*Third, have them operate in something resembling the real world; their impossible perfectness is treated as impossible by the people within the setting, and their actions have unforeseen consequences. (See, for reference, good quality [[Superman]] and [[Batman]] stories that don't focus on making either character more "human". Or the two protagonists from One-Punch Man, who are very much overpowered, but the focus of the series is a comedy based on ''how little satisfaction'' they find ''due to their overpoweredness''. The comic book Irredeemable is another good example, as the Plutonian comes across as a deconstruction of this character, showing how he uses his powers like an immature man-child and wipes out an entire country all because the entire world doesn't love him completely and adore him, demonstrating how much of a dick he is.)
*Finally, when it comes to reality, badly written characters end falling by their own weight. This is the reason no one remembers most of the overpowered characters added in fanfiction.net while everyone remembers cool, well-molded characters - after all, reality ensues.

Note that like overpoweredness, Mary Suedom is relative to the context of the work. Much like how if in a game everybody is overpowered, nobody actually is; if you are describing everyone in a setting as a Mary Sue, more than likely you're just in a "cast of snowflakes" setting, like superhero comics or transformers. Here, everyone of import is super amazing and special with a lot of weight put on their decisions and actions. (Exception: If one side of the conflict has a monopoly on both awesome and author-intended-sympathy, the "Sue" accusation starts becoming more relevant again.)

[[Troll|Or maybe you're just a dumbass flinging around buzzwords at things you don't like.]]

==Hard Men Making Hard Decisions (While Hard)==

A side note: A specific kind of male version of Mary Sue is also well known. He is usually described as a "Hard Man making Hard Decisions", but works using that description are usually sufficiently closer to "porn logic" than actual human logic that it's usually called "Wank material". (Note that "Hard Women making Hard Decisions" is also very much a thing, but tends to be less common for various reasons.)

Note that not all "Gary"/"Marty Stu"s are Hard Men Making Hard Decisions (While Hard); there exist Stus who are diplomatic or are idealistic but no less annoying. It's just that HMMHD(WH) are the subset that's the most predictable (and thus describable); other equally common types are the kind who makes all female characters want to sleep with him, or otherwise just gender-swapped versions of other Mary Sue archetypes.

=Gallery=
<gallery>
Image:Bloody_Mary_Sues.jpg|Get rid of them before they lay eggs.
File:Marysue_1517.jpg
Image:Avatar shoopface by vfalconi.jpg|How it works.
File:Sparklypoo.jpg
File:Ma-Rey-Sue.jpg|Basically Luke Skywalker but with none of the Darth Vader blood. One of the most skubtastic debates, thanks to the SJWs and vocal Red Pill advocates involved.
</gallery>

=See Also=
[[List of Mary Sues]] WARNING: [[Skub|Opinions]]

=External Links=
*[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySue TVTropes' article on Mary Sues], that discusses the phenomenon and its many forms in detail.
*[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1379217 sup/tg/ archive] of a hilarious thread with ultimate Mary Sue and PURE ENERGY in it.
*[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1383654 sup/tg/ archive] of the Ultimate Mary Sue thread continued.
*[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/13722924/ sup/tg/ archive]; [[ITT]], the most grimdark setting ever conceived.
*[http://www.big-metto.net/RP_Wiki/index.php?title=Mirabelle_Armitage Mirabelle Armitage, D&D Mary Sure beyond Drizzt.]
*[http://www.ongoingworlds.com/blog/2011/04/the-many-different-types-of-mary-sue/ The many different types of Mary Sue]