2d4chan - User contributions [en]

Car Wars

2018-11-25T14:58:58Z

2A02:810D:B40:15C8:3843:C4D6:5868:FB7C:

[[Image:Carwars.jpg‎|thumb|right|The game in action.]]
''You know what's a great thing about burning cars? Once they explode, they can't explode AGAIN.''

Think Mad Max Fury Road, combined with GTA London and Steel Panthers. Post-apocalyptic car combat with a crazy-detailed ruleset, both in terms of gameplay and car construction. This game was made by [[Steve Jackson Games]] in the 80's, and is made of win and twisted metal. And fire. Because nothing beats fire. Except, you know, fireproof armor.

There were several spinoffs of the game, including a very early computer RPG, a GURPS splatbook and a card game. A new edition of the game, done at 2x scale and using miniatures instead of counters, is (supposedly) being worked on.

==Background==

Car Wars used to be one of the more popular games in the 1980s and early 90s. It gradually fell out of fashion and lost all but the basic publisher support, until only a handful of nostalgic spergs remained and people moved on to other games.

At its core it is a strategy game made with a very detailed, simulationist approach. Players are encouraged to design their own vehicles or modify existing ones, using a very robust and adaptable system. It is played with counters representing cars, trucks and other vehicles. The gaming surface is either an arena (with defined edges and obstacles, similar to a wargame), or a continuous, rolling road.

==The good stuff==

Twenty Bucks. That is all you will ever have to spend if you want to play this game. Used copies can be found online even cheaper. Fifty bucks gets you everything you will ever need. Car Wars was a thing long before games were monetized, or monetization was even considered to be a word to begin with. Proprietary dice, counters or gaming aids of any kind are not needed to play the game. Upgrades and features are not locked away behind paywalls (looking at you, X-Wing Miniatures).

The game's complexity and technical nature ensures a high replayability. It is possible to simulate different settings, from arena matches and leagues to wasteland skirmishes, car chases and even a full-blown rpg. It is also possible to build vehicles of various sizes and combat and noncombat roles. Want to stage a chase between a salvager bus full of loot and a gang of outlaw truckers? Go ahead. River pirates? War rigs? Helicopters that transform into cars? It's all possible, and it all works within the same system.

==The not so good stuff==

Did I mention the game was complex as hell? New players who pick up Car Wars will have to struggle with both the construction aspect of the game and with using their probably mediocre invention effectively in the field. Since mistakes made in one part of the game will translate to the other one in karmic fashion, it doesn't make for the best new player experience.

It is also a considerable effort to find players for this game. The steep learning curve and almost complete lack of marketing or publisher support mean games of Car Wars are few and far between. It is possible to play a very basic online version of the game, which is good enough until something better comes along or a miracle happens.

==Vehicle Design Guidelines==

Instead of classic list building like 40k or X-Wing, vehicles in Car Wars are designed for a specific task, role, budget and type of terrain. For arenas, you can afford to spread armor and firepower on all sides of the vehicle. Pure broadside vehicles can be viable in the arena depending on the terrain. For the open road, most of the armor and firepower is going to be concentrated on the front and back of the vehicle.

Solid tires are almost a must on the road, in the arena you can get away with cheaper tires, esp in lower divisions.

Ram plates, rollcages and safety seats should only be used on specialized ramming vehicles.

You will almost always want component armor for your crew, engine and main weapon, as well as wheelhubs and/or wheelguards.

Crewmen need body armor and fire extinguishers but don't really need anything else.

Machineguns, vulcan machineguns and recoilless rifles are good all-round weapons. A lot of other weapons like rockets, cannons or flame require you to build specialized vehicles and make tradeoffs to take advantage of them.

Most mistakes made during design will only become apparent during play. Try to modify and improve the design after each game until you end up with something different than what you started with.

==Using different scales==

The standard game is played at 1:160 scale, which translates to 1.0x0.5 inch counters representing cars. To play at a different scale using real models, simply double all distances for H0 scale cars, or triple them for matchbox-sized cars. Attaching each car to an appropriately sized base is also recommended.

==Making your own stuff==

New or recolored vehicle counters can be produced with minimal photoshop skills. At larger scales, a lot of people make their own custom cars and terrain. It's easier than you might think and also one of the appeals of playing at 2x or 3x scale.
Designing a custom full color playmat or a set of road sections is somewhat more time consuming. It requires putting the map together from textures and/or aerial images and preparing it for print. More often than not it can be worth the effort.

==Reverse-engineering==

There is a lot of stuff that's potentially useful to an autoduelist and considered junk by most people. Any assortment of bits from scale models and 40k sprues can readily become a source of armor plates, gun barrels and gadgets. As a rule of thumb, 40k bits are good for hotwheels and matchbox cars (3x scale), while 1/72 bits are good for HO-sized cars (2x scale).

==Upgrade Kits==

Ramshackle Games has crews and bikers sized for hotwheels and matchbox cars.

==Attempts to revive the game==

In 2002 SJG launched a simplified and streamlined version of the game. Back to just cars, without other types of vehicles or rules for construction and design. It was met with as much (or as little) success as you would imagine. It does have one inherent advantage, though. The rules are usable with matchbox and hotwheels cars right out of the box.

In 2016 SJG started work on an even more streamlined and accessible version of the game. In fact, they just kept the brand and designed a completely new game. Proprietary dice are to be used for attack, defense and maneuver. The new version of the game will have actual model cars instead of counters. Sixty different cars will be released and sold in a ''got to catch them all'' manner. Car design will be done by taking a basic vehicle and assigning upgrade cards to it, similar to X-Wing. I have no doubt that most players will simply decide to kill the meat and save the metal, eg. keep playing the old, proven version of the game but use the new full color maps and model cars to do so.

==Online resources==

Large repository of counters for the base game:
http://zenseeker.net/PaperMiniatures/CarWars.htm

Online car designer:
http://carwars.opentools.org/

Makers of 2x scale el camino, barracuda and t-bird:
http://www.schuco.de/en/models/edition_187/cars/-/2/20/

{{Board Games}}

[[Category:Board Games]][[Category:Post-Apocalyptic]][[Category:Simulationist]][[Category:Customizable]][[Category:Awesome]]

Settlers of Catan

2018-11-25T13:29:42Z

2A02:810D:B40:15C8:3843:C4D6:5868:FB7C: /* SciFi */

[[Image:CATANlogo.gif|center]]
 
{{Game Infobox
|name = Settlers of Catan
|picture = [[Image:settlers.jpg|thumbnail|center]]
|type = Board Game
|playno = 3 - 4, with expansions: 2 - 6
|time = ~1-2 hours
|publisher = Kosmos (Germany), Mayfair Games (U.S.)
|authors = Klaus Teuber
|year = 1995
|books = N/A
}}

[[Settlers of Catan]] is a board game where you compete with other players for resources by building towns and roads. It's an economic resource management game, where you gain resources based on the [[die]] roll, which corresponds to a value determined randomly at the beginning of the game.
The goal of the game it to reach 10 Victory Points first.

The game was designed in 1994-1995 by ''Klaus Teuber''. It's produced by ''Kosmos'' in Europe and by ''Mayfair Games'' in the US

One of the more fun aspects is trading, where you and the other players barter for better deals. This can lead to alliances, truces, and broken hearts as each player competes for a better position (while trying like hell for it to look like they're way behind everyone). It can lead to hilarious moments too.
Yelling '''"I got wood for sheep!"''' is quite possibly the best thing that can happen in a board game. Especially if you're playing with a Greek, Welshman, or Kiwi.

No mention of Catan on /tg/ would be complete without a mention of [[:Image:Do-you-catan.png|Do you catan?]]

= Expansions =
[[Image: Do-you-catan.png|thumbnail|Right|How to Play]]
There are tons of expansions for Settlers of Catan as well:
*Settlers of Catan
**Settlers of Catan 5-6 Player Expansion
*Cities and Knights of Catan (repel the barbarian invaders while advancing in science, politics, and trade)
**Cities and Knights 5-6 Player Expansion
*Seafarers of Catan (involves sea hexes, ships, gold fields, and many different island arrangements)
**Seafarers 5-6 Player Expansion
*Fishermen of Catan (mini expansion)
*River of Catan (adds a new resource, gold, and replaces 3 tiles in the base game)
*Catan: Traders and Barbarians (includes Fishermen, River, and a bunch of new shit)
*Catan: Explorers and Pirates (includes ships with cargo bays, different pirates, different fishermen, flowing spice, and the part where you have to "discover" two-thirds of the board)

= SciFi =
Settlers of Catan has two science fiction spin-offs, the original Starfarers of Catan and the licensed Settlers of Catan Star Trek game.

I have not played Starfarers, but the Star Trek game makes the dice rolls a bit more forgiving by letting each player pick a Star Trek crew member with extra abilities.
* Each crew member can use their ability at most two times (and needs to use it at least once) before you can/have to replace them with a new crew member.

= Play =
The game board is created new each time, consisting of hexagonal tiles that fit together in a rough circle (unless you're using the 5-6 Player Expansion, in which case it resembles an oval). After the various land types are laid out, the values are drawn and placed on them in a reverse pattern.

== Resources ==
When the die roll indicates a land with a settlement on it, the player owning that settlement gets a resource card of that type. These are:
*Forest - Wood (also Books in Cities and Knights)
*Mountain - Ore (also Coin in Cities and Knights)
*Fields - Wheat
*Plains - Sheep (or Wool, also Cloth in Cities and Knights)
*Quarry/Clay-pit - Brick (or Clay)

You can hold any number of resource cards, but if someone rolls a 7, everyone with more than 7 cards must discard half their resources. Then whoever rolled the 7 must move the Robber.

== The Robber ==
The robber is a special piece. It begins play on the Desert hex (arid, it doesn't produce anything) and if someone rolls a 7 or plays a Soldier card, they must move him. Whatever hex the Robber is placed on cannot produce while he is there. The player moving the robber can rob any player who has a settlement on the hex that he places the Robber on. This is a good way to let someone know you're thinking of them. Especially since you're depriving them of a resource plot.

== Spending Resources ==
To gain points in Catan, you must build. The major caveat is that you may only build if what you're building is connected to one of your pieces, and that you have the proper resources to purchase it. The first thing most people build is Roads. You can build more settlements eventually, which increase your resource production, and eventually you can upgrade those settlements into cities, earning you even more resources and an extra Victory Point. You can also buy Development Cards.

== Development Cards ==
These are special cards. They do not count against your hand, and can bestow special functions. The Soldier card allows you to chase off the Robber and put him somewhere else, Monopoly lets you take all of one resource from every player, road building allows you to build roads (duh) without expending resources (not so duh) and some cards, like the Chapel, give you Victory Points. (It's a good idea to conceal all development cards, people tend to get mean if they know you have VPs in your corner)

== Victory Points ==
The goal of the game is to get 10 of them. There is a base scale to measure these, which include two 'special condition' awards:
*Settlement - 1 point
*City - 2 points
*VP Card - 1 point
*Longest Road - 2 points (Special Condition of having a longer road than all other players, of at least 5 segments in length)
*Largest Army - 2 points (Special Condition of having played more Soldier cards than anyone else, with a minimum of 3 played)

=Video Game Ports=
There have been several clone versions of this game available online for years now, as well as official licensed games for both PC and Xbox.
A Version for Nintendo Switch has been announced.

{{Board Games}}
[[Category:Board Games]]

Settlers of Catan

2018-11-25T13:28:56Z

2A02:810D:B40:15C8:3843:C4D6:5868:FB7C:

[[Image:CATANlogo.gif|center]]
 
{{Game Infobox
|name = Settlers of Catan
|picture = [[Image:settlers.jpg|thumbnail|center]]
|type = Board Game
|playno = 3 - 4, with expansions: 2 - 6
|time = ~1-2 hours
|publisher = Kosmos (Germany), Mayfair Games (U.S.)
|authors = Klaus Teuber
|year = 1995
|books = N/A
}}

[[Settlers of Catan]] is a board game where you compete with other players for resources by building towns and roads. It's an economic resource management game, where you gain resources based on the [[die]] roll, which corresponds to a value determined randomly at the beginning of the game.
The goal of the game it to reach 10 Victory Points first.

The game was designed in 1994-1995 by ''Klaus Teuber''. It's produced by ''Kosmos'' in Europe and by ''Mayfair Games'' in the US

One of the more fun aspects is trading, where you and the other players barter for better deals. This can lead to alliances, truces, and broken hearts as each player competes for a better position (while trying like hell for it to look like they're way behind everyone). It can lead to hilarious moments too.
Yelling '''"I got wood for sheep!"''' is quite possibly the best thing that can happen in a board game. Especially if you're playing with a Greek, Welshman, or Kiwi.

No mention of Catan on /tg/ would be complete without a mention of [[:Image:Do-you-catan.png|Do you catan?]]

= Expansions =
[[Image: Do-you-catan.png|thumbnail|Right|How to Play]]
There are tons of expansions for Settlers of Catan as well:
*Settlers of Catan
**Settlers of Catan 5-6 Player Expansion
*Cities and Knights of Catan (repel the barbarian invaders while advancing in science, politics, and trade)
**Cities and Knights 5-6 Player Expansion
*Seafarers of Catan (involves sea hexes, ships, gold fields, and many different island arrangements)
**Seafarers 5-6 Player Expansion
*Fishermen of Catan (mini expansion)
*River of Catan (adds a new resource, gold, and replaces 3 tiles in the base game)
*Catan: Traders and Barbarians (includes Fishermen, River, and a bunch of new shit)
*Catan: Explorers and Pirates (includes ships with cargo bays, different pirates, different fishermen, flowing spice, and the part where you have to "discover" two-thirds of the board)

= SciFi =
Settlers of Catan has two science fiction spin-offs, the original Starfarers of Catan and the licensed Settlers of Catan Star Trek game.

I have not played Starfarers, but the Star Trek game makes the dice rolls a bit more forgiving by letting each player pick Star Trek crew member cards with extra abilities.
* Each crew member can use their ability at most two times (and needs to use it at least once) before you can/have to replace them with a new crew member.

= Play =
The game board is created new each time, consisting of hexagonal tiles that fit together in a rough circle (unless you're using the 5-6 Player Expansion, in which case it resembles an oval). After the various land types are laid out, the values are drawn and placed on them in a reverse pattern.

== Resources ==
When the die roll indicates a land with a settlement on it, the player owning that settlement gets a resource card of that type. These are:
*Forest - Wood (also Books in Cities and Knights)
*Mountain - Ore (also Coin in Cities and Knights)
*Fields - Wheat
*Plains - Sheep (or Wool, also Cloth in Cities and Knights)
*Quarry/Clay-pit - Brick (or Clay)

You can hold any number of resource cards, but if someone rolls a 7, everyone with more than 7 cards must discard half their resources. Then whoever rolled the 7 must move the Robber.

== The Robber ==
The robber is a special piece. It begins play on the Desert hex (arid, it doesn't produce anything) and if someone rolls a 7 or plays a Soldier card, they must move him. Whatever hex the Robber is placed on cannot produce while he is there. The player moving the robber can rob any player who has a settlement on the hex that he places the Robber on. This is a good way to let someone know you're thinking of them. Especially since you're depriving them of a resource plot.

== Spending Resources ==
To gain points in Catan, you must build. The major caveat is that you may only build if what you're building is connected to one of your pieces, and that you have the proper resources to purchase it. The first thing most people build is Roads. You can build more settlements eventually, which increase your resource production, and eventually you can upgrade those settlements into cities, earning you even more resources and an extra Victory Point. You can also buy Development Cards.

== Development Cards ==
These are special cards. They do not count against your hand, and can bestow special functions. The Soldier card allows you to chase off the Robber and put him somewhere else, Monopoly lets you take all of one resource from every player, road building allows you to build roads (duh) without expending resources (not so duh) and some cards, like the Chapel, give you Victory Points. (It's a good idea to conceal all development cards, people tend to get mean if they know you have VPs in your corner)

== Victory Points ==
The goal of the game is to get 10 of them. There is a base scale to measure these, which include two 'special condition' awards:
*Settlement - 1 point
*City - 2 points
*VP Card - 1 point
*Longest Road - 2 points (Special Condition of having a longer road than all other players, of at least 5 segments in length)
*Largest Army - 2 points (Special Condition of having played more Soldier cards than anyone else, with a minimum of 3 played)

=Video Game Ports=
There have been several clone versions of this game available online for years now, as well as official licensed games for both PC and Xbox.
A Version for Nintendo Switch has been announced.

{{Board Games}}
[[Category:Board Games]]

Monopoly

2018-11-25T13:15:41Z

2A02:810D:B40:15C8:3843:C4D6:5868:FB7C: /* Powers for each of the pieces */

{{Fail}}
[[Image:Monotonylogo.gif|center]]

'''It fucking sucks.''' While it may suck a bag of dog shit, it is (after [[Chess]] and [[Go]]) the most popular tabletop game ever made. Go figure.

It was originally an adaptation of an obscure game known as "The Landlord's Game," which was intended as an educational tool to illustrate the negative aspects of concentrating land in private monopolies, and explain the benefits of the single tax theory of Henry George. However, since "The Landlord's Game" was made by a woman, who was also a Quaker, nobody gave a shit, which was why Charles Darrow was able to modify the original game and sold it off as [[Original character, do not steal|his own original creation]]. Also, he chopped out half of the game, namely, the second half where everyone loses all their money and an Important Lesson is learned about capitalism. Which is why it sucks. Imagine if ''40k'' didn't have a turn limit, and you just played until the opponent was tabled, and both of you got two free units every turn (Isn't that just apocalypse though?). As an historical aside, Mr. Monopoly is an amalgam of William Randolph Hurst (the newspaper billionaire who owned most of congress and started a war) and Samuel Insull (the fellow who monitized electricity).

==How to play Monopoly==
# Go around for 3 hours
# Land on Mayfair with someone else's hotel on it (Boardwalk if you're an Americanfag)Jealous much!
# Flip the board
# ????
# [[Profit]]!

=== No, really? ===
[[Meme|Yah rly.]] The winning condition is "when everyone is broke except for one player." Aside from how "last man standing" boardgames suck, it's possible to play a game that never ends. Try this: get one of the Monopoly computer games, tell it to play with 4 computer players and 0 human players. Put it on 'fast', and come back in a few hours. All four players will have hundreds of thousands of dollars each, with no signs of anyone "losing."

The only way to win is to convince one of your fellow players to do something stupid, like sell you a property you need to complete a set.

This game takes forever. No, I am not kidding you. You, the person who wanted to play the game, will be the only one left after 5 hours of straight gameplay who still wants to play. Everyone else will have [[Khorne|lost patience]], [[Tzeench|fallen asleep]], [[Slaanesh|run out of snacks]], [[Nurgle|died of old age]], or some [[Derp|unholy combination]] of [[What|any or all of the previous four]]. I seriously played one game of Monopoly for THREE MONTHS with my grandmother. My grandfather left after the first three weeks. I have no idea who won. In that time, I probably could have made a pretty awesome character in ANY RPG SYSTEM (yes, even [[Rolemaster]]), and have had four or more truly memorable moments in a campaign.

Most modern iterations of the rules focus on either the game ending when the *first* player becomes bankrupt, or for an arbitrary value of cash and property to be reached. Either vastly speeds the game.

== Monopoly license everything... ==

It is no small joke that Monopoly have made a version of itself to cover just about everything under the sun. You're into normal vanilla monopoly? Get lost, there is way too many weird and wacky flavors to take, although you may get sick after having them.

Here is a concise list of some of the different kinds of monopoly available: Batman and Robin; Beatles; the Big Bang Theory; Bob's Burgers; Cthulhu; Deadpool; Despicable Me; Disney Princesses; Disney Theme Parks; Doctor Who; Dot-Com (where the properties are all Internet companies like Google); Dragonball Z; Dr. Who; Dublin (the actual city); Fallout; F.R.I.E.N.D.S.; Game of Thrones; Gay; Ghostbusters; the Golden Girls; Guardians of the Galaxy; Halo; Harry Potter; Lego; the Lord of the Rings; National Parks (like Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon and shit); the Nightmare before Christmas; Nintendo (which is not to be confused with the individual Mario, Zelda, and Pokemon versions of Monopoly); Northampton (the city, seriously); Pirates of the Caribbean; Pokemon; Powerpuff Girls; Royal Family; Simpsons; Spongebob Squarepants; Star Wars; Star Wars Limited Collector's 20th Anniversary Edition; Star Wars Episode 1 Edition; Star Wars ''Classic'' Trilogy Edition; Star Wars ''Original'' Trilogy Edition (apparently there is a difference between the "classic" trilogy and the "original" trilogy); Star Wars the Clone Wars; Star Wars 40th Anniversary Special Edition; Star Wars with a goddamn Rubik's Cube because that makes a fuckton of sense; Stranger Things; Street Fighter; Super Mario Bros; Supernatural; Toy Story; The Walking Dead; 2010 Fifa World Cup South African edition; CHEATERS EDITION; Guildford (the town in Surrey); Yu-Gi-Oh; and Zelda.

And Twilight. GOOOOODDAAAAAMMMMNNNNNN.

You think the above list is a joke? Then my dear friends you will truly weep, when you discover each one is very, very real... even Gay Monopoly, though it wasn't actually made by Parker Brothers, who sued its creators out of existence back in the '80s for intellectual property infringement.

P.S. Just in case you weren't depressed enough; every single version of Monopoly is literally exactly the same from a rules perspective. Every property and card gets renamed, but the functional rules of the game don't change at all. (Not true with Lord of the Rings Monopoly, Pokemon, and at least a few of the fifty or sixty Star Wars editions)

==/tg/-Approved House Rules ==

Not to be set back by the monotony of Monopoly, /tg/ has, after a period of discussion, decided that the following rules can potentially make a game of Monopoly strategic and more fun.

# Landing on an unowned property incurs an Auction, not a sale. (See [[#The_Rule_Nobody_Uses|below]].)
## Bidding can start either at $1 or the value of the property, with the former allowing cheap purchases and the latter ensuring that all properties will sell at or above their face value.
# A completed color group is not required to purchase improvements on a property, with the exception of Hotels.
## Properties don't collect rent until there is a house on it. Not only does this remove the insanity of paying rent for an empty lot, it makes the utility actual useful, at least in the early game, as those will always be able to collect money.

==Monopoly for Millennials==

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DA4nUDb3uo4 "Forget Real Eastate - You can't afford it anyway."]

Instead you win with the most Experience Tokens, which conveniently look like social media upvotes (and downvotes >:D ).

The only thing funnier than the game is the meltdown it caused on the internet.

==The Rule Nobody Uses==
'''BREAKING NEWS''' This speeds up the game, and makes it possible to complete sets without some player doing something self-destructively stupid, and it's ''already in the rules'' but nobody uses it!

<blockquote>''If you do not wish to buy the property, the Banker sells it at auction to the highest bidder. The buyer pays the Bank the amount of the bid in cash and receives the Title Deed card for that property. Any player, including the one who declined the option to buy it at the printed price, may bid. Bidding may start at any price.''</blockquote>

It's right there in black and white. [http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/monins.pdf Hasbro Official Rules]

The board gets sold off fast and everybody gets a weird portfolio of random properties, both of which make Metanopoly (see below) more fun and brutal. Note there are plenty of other often-missed rules (no extra houses, no P2P loans, no Free Parking jackpots) that speed the game up, too.

==Special Rules to Make It Fun==
=== Illuminopoly ===

{{Main|Illuminopoly}}

Fixes Monopoly by replacing it with a different property-management game built around the shell-company mechanic from [[Illuminati]]. You're acquiring property... so you can modulate the house wiring and put fluoride in the water and control people's MINDS. (fnord)

=== Solarquest ===
This improves the game by replacing it entirely with a different roll-and-move real estate game.
* [http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/1836/ Solarquest at BoardGameGeek]

=== Fortune Street ===
A vidya version of Monopoly that manages to be a much better game, in the same vein as Solarquest, by replacing it with a better roll-and-move real estate game with more choices and more finance.
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortune_Street Fortune Street at Wikipedia]

=== #OccupyBoardwalk ===

{{Main|Monopoly/OccupyBoardwalk}}

For the anti-American commies who are protesting on Wall Street, you can play the game as the 1%.

=== Powers for each of the pieces ===
*Wheelbarrow: Move an additional spaces equal to your lowest die; gain an additional 25 dollars when passing Go.
*Battleship: You may fire at any piece directly opposite the Battleship, sending them back to Go. They do not gain money from passing Go.
*Money Bag: Gain $300 when passing Go.
*Horseman: Move an additional spaces equal to your lowest die; when the Horseman lands on an occupied space, the Horseman can choose to send all other pieces back five squares or to the Horseman's nearest property, whichever is closer; when sending a piece back to his property, the Horseman must accompany them.
*Automobile: Move twice the number of spaces shown on the die.
*Locomotive: All railroads cost half as much; when rolling a double and not in jail, the Locomotive can move to any owned railroads instead.
*̶T̶h̶i̶m̶b̶l̶e̶:̶ ̶W̶o̶w̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶,̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶a̶g̶g̶o̶t̶?̶ ̶S̶t̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶e̶y̶.̶ ̶J̶e̶e̶z̶.̶ While everyone else is arguing over the popular pieces, take an extra 500$ from the bank. Lie if asked about it. You also get to mock the other players mercilessly if you win. "Who's the fag now?"
*Loom: Pay half as much when renting; mortgages pay 20% more.
*Shoe: Same as Horseman.
*Dog: The Dog may take the roll of the previous player instead of rolling their own die.
*̶I̶r̶o̶n̶:̶ ̶S̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶T̶h̶i̶m̶b̶l̶e̶,̶ ̶Q̶u̶e̶e̶r̶ ̶E̶y̶e̶.̶ Oops, got removed. Congrats on being retro, I guess. Or you just didn't care enough to buy a new set. Probably that.
*[[Hat]]: Same as Money Bag; [[Hats]] are classy.
*Cat: Ignore the first time you have to pay rent after passing Go because half the neighbourhood feeds you.

*Bike: Same as Automobile
*Hashtag: Smear Campaign! Same rules as Battleship.
*Laughing and Crying Emoji: You start with a Get Out Of Jail card.
*Monopoly Man Emoji: Same as Money Bag.
*Sunglasses: Anonymous: Ignore the first time another player attacks you with a card.
*Camera: Photographic Evidence: Double the Experience Tokens when you are the First to visit a location.

=== Metanopoly ===
AKA how many ways can you get your opponents to [[Derp|derp]]. Use underhanded meta-game tactics to win, and none of it is "technically" illegal. Haggle, brown-nose, backstab, and generally [[Diplomacy |play pre-WW1 European politics]]. Barter for everything, trick people with word games, do whatever you can to be the nastiest SPAH in [[/v/|a game full of SPAHS]]. Works well with 7+ players, and is great fun against [[Tzeench|that one crafty uncle who shows up at family reunions]]. You know, for a game of Monopoly. Goes shorter than most games because everyone either gets curb-stomped by one guy, calls everyone else a cheater, or gets so [[rage|enraged]] that the game turns into a bar fight and you must use your [[The Book of Weeaboo Fightan Magic|Weeaboo Fightan Magic]] to escape unscathed.

=== Waropoly 40,000 ===
{{heresy}}
''In the grim darkness of the future, there is only passing Go...'' 
[[Image:Monopoly_RogueTrader.jpg|756px]] 
In other news, GW has just announced an official Warhammer 40k Monopoly game. Until that comes out, just use the above board. It'll be basically the same thing.

===Touhopoly===
[[Image:Touhou_Monopoly.jpg|756px]]
 
In the grim future of Gensokyo, the Pentex corporation controls 98% of the habitable land.

=== Settleropoly and Talismanopoly ===

[[Commissar|Shoot the guy who suggested playing Monopoly]] and go play [[Settlers of Catan]] instead.

Or, if you must play [[Ameritrash]], go play [[Talisman]], which is at least interminable in a way that can still provide somewhat interesting decisions for all players 30 turns in.

{{Board Games}}
[[Category:Board Games]]

Monopoly

2018-11-25T13:08:43Z

2A02:810D:B40:15C8:3843:C4D6:5868:FB7C: /* Monopoly for Millennials */

{{Fail}}
[[Image:Monotonylogo.gif|center]]

'''It fucking sucks.''' While it may suck a bag of dog shit, it is (after [[Chess]] and [[Go]]) the most popular tabletop game ever made. Go figure.

It was originally an adaptation of an obscure game known as "The Landlord's Game," which was intended as an educational tool to illustrate the negative aspects of concentrating land in private monopolies, and explain the benefits of the single tax theory of Henry George. However, since "The Landlord's Game" was made by a woman, who was also a Quaker, nobody gave a shit, which was why Charles Darrow was able to modify the original game and sold it off as [[Original character, do not steal|his own original creation]]. Also, he chopped out half of the game, namely, the second half where everyone loses all their money and an Important Lesson is learned about capitalism. Which is why it sucks. Imagine if ''40k'' didn't have a turn limit, and you just played until the opponent was tabled, and both of you got two free units every turn (Isn't that just apocalypse though?). As an historical aside, Mr. Monopoly is an amalgam of William Randolph Hurst (the newspaper billionaire who owned most of congress and started a war) and Samuel Insull (the fellow who monitized electricity).

==How to play Monopoly==
# Go around for 3 hours
# Land on Mayfair with someone else's hotel on it (Boardwalk if you're an Americanfag)Jealous much!
# Flip the board
# ????
# [[Profit]]!

=== No, really? ===
[[Meme|Yah rly.]] The winning condition is "when everyone is broke except for one player." Aside from how "last man standing" boardgames suck, it's possible to play a game that never ends. Try this: get one of the Monopoly computer games, tell it to play with 4 computer players and 0 human players. Put it on 'fast', and come back in a few hours. All four players will have hundreds of thousands of dollars each, with no signs of anyone "losing."

The only way to win is to convince one of your fellow players to do something stupid, like sell you a property you need to complete a set.

This game takes forever. No, I am not kidding you. You, the person who wanted to play the game, will be the only one left after 5 hours of straight gameplay who still wants to play. Everyone else will have [[Khorne|lost patience]], [[Tzeench|fallen asleep]], [[Slaanesh|run out of snacks]], [[Nurgle|died of old age]], or some [[Derp|unholy combination]] of [[What|any or all of the previous four]]. I seriously played one game of Monopoly for THREE MONTHS with my grandmother. My grandfather left after the first three weeks. I have no idea who won. In that time, I probably could have made a pretty awesome character in ANY RPG SYSTEM (yes, even [[Rolemaster]]), and have had four or more truly memorable moments in a campaign.

Most modern iterations of the rules focus on either the game ending when the *first* player becomes bankrupt, or for an arbitrary value of cash and property to be reached. Either vastly speeds the game.

== Monopoly license everything... ==

It is no small joke that Monopoly have made a version of itself to cover just about everything under the sun. You're into normal vanilla monopoly? Get lost, there is way too many weird and wacky flavors to take, although you may get sick after having them.

Here is a concise list of some of the different kinds of monopoly available: Batman and Robin; Beatles; the Big Bang Theory; Bob's Burgers; Cthulhu; Deadpool; Despicable Me; Disney Princesses; Disney Theme Parks; Doctor Who; Dot-Com (where the properties are all Internet companies like Google); Dragonball Z; Dr. Who; Dublin (the actual city); Fallout; F.R.I.E.N.D.S.; Game of Thrones; Gay; Ghostbusters; the Golden Girls; Guardians of the Galaxy; Halo; Harry Potter; Lego; the Lord of the Rings; National Parks (like Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon and shit); the Nightmare before Christmas; Nintendo (which is not to be confused with the individual Mario, Zelda, and Pokemon versions of Monopoly); Northampton (the city, seriously); Pirates of the Caribbean; Pokemon; Powerpuff Girls; Royal Family; Simpsons; Spongebob Squarepants; Star Wars; Star Wars Limited Collector's 20th Anniversary Edition; Star Wars Episode 1 Edition; Star Wars ''Classic'' Trilogy Edition; Star Wars ''Original'' Trilogy Edition (apparently there is a difference between the "classic" trilogy and the "original" trilogy); Star Wars the Clone Wars; Star Wars 40th Anniversary Special Edition; Star Wars with a goddamn Rubik's Cube because that makes a fuckton of sense; Stranger Things; Street Fighter; Super Mario Bros; Supernatural; Toy Story; The Walking Dead; 2010 Fifa World Cup South African edition; CHEATERS EDITION; Guildford (the town in Surrey); Yu-Gi-Oh; and Zelda.

And Twilight. GOOOOODDAAAAAMMMMNNNNNN.

You think the above list is a joke? Then my dear friends you will truly weep, when you discover each one is very, very real... even Gay Monopoly, though it wasn't actually made by Parker Brothers, who sued its creators out of existence back in the '80s for intellectual property infringement.

P.S. Just in case you weren't depressed enough; every single version of Monopoly is literally exactly the same from a rules perspective. Every property and card gets renamed, but the functional rules of the game don't change at all. (Not true with Lord of the Rings Monopoly, Pokemon, and at least a few of the fifty or sixty Star Wars editions)

==/tg/-Approved House Rules ==

Not to be set back by the monotony of Monopoly, /tg/ has, after a period of discussion, decided that the following rules can potentially make a game of Monopoly strategic and more fun.

# Landing on an unowned property incurs an Auction, not a sale. (See [[#The_Rule_Nobody_Uses|below]].)
## Bidding can start either at $1 or the value of the property, with the former allowing cheap purchases and the latter ensuring that all properties will sell at or above their face value.
# A completed color group is not required to purchase improvements on a property, with the exception of Hotels.
## Properties don't collect rent until there is a house on it. Not only does this remove the insanity of paying rent for an empty lot, it makes the utility actual useful, at least in the early game, as those will always be able to collect money.

==Monopoly for Millennials==

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DA4nUDb3uo4 "Forget Real Eastate - You can't afford it anyway."]

Instead you win with the most Experience Tokens, which conveniently look like social media upvotes (and downvotes >:D ).

The only thing funnier than the game is the meltdown it caused on the internet.

==The Rule Nobody Uses==
'''BREAKING NEWS''' This speeds up the game, and makes it possible to complete sets without some player doing something self-destructively stupid, and it's ''already in the rules'' but nobody uses it!

<blockquote>''If you do not wish to buy the property, the Banker sells it at auction to the highest bidder. The buyer pays the Bank the amount of the bid in cash and receives the Title Deed card for that property. Any player, including the one who declined the option to buy it at the printed price, may bid. Bidding may start at any price.''</blockquote>

It's right there in black and white. [http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/monins.pdf Hasbro Official Rules]

The board gets sold off fast and everybody gets a weird portfolio of random properties, both of which make Metanopoly (see below) more fun and brutal. Note there are plenty of other often-missed rules (no extra houses, no P2P loans, no Free Parking jackpots) that speed the game up, too.

==Special Rules to Make It Fun==
=== Illuminopoly ===

{{Main|Illuminopoly}}

Fixes Monopoly by replacing it with a different property-management game built around the shell-company mechanic from [[Illuminati]]. You're acquiring property... so you can modulate the house wiring and put fluoride in the water and control people's MINDS. (fnord)

=== Solarquest ===
This improves the game by replacing it entirely with a different roll-and-move real estate game.
* [http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/1836/ Solarquest at BoardGameGeek]

=== Fortune Street ===
A vidya version of Monopoly that manages to be a much better game, in the same vein as Solarquest, by replacing it with a better roll-and-move real estate game with more choices and more finance.
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortune_Street Fortune Street at Wikipedia]

=== #OccupyBoardwalk ===

{{Main|Monopoly/OccupyBoardwalk}}

For the anti-American commies who are protesting on Wall Street, you can play the game as the 1%.

=== Powers for each of the pieces ===
*Wheelbarrow: Move an additional spaces equal to your lowest die; gain an additional 25 dollars when passing Go.
*Battleship: You may fire at any piece directly opposite the Battleship, sending them back to Go. They do not gain money from passing Go.
*Money Bag: Gain $300 when passing Go.
*Horseman: Move an additional spaces equal to your lowest die; when the Horseman lands on an occupied space, the Horseman can choose to send all other pieces back five squares or to the Horseman's nearest property, whichever is closer; when sending a piece back to his property, the Horseman must accompany them.
*Automobile: Move twice the number of spaces shown on the die.
*Locomotive: All railroads cost half as much; when rolling a double and not in jail, the Locomotive can move to any owned railroads instead.
*̶T̶h̶i̶m̶b̶l̶e̶:̶ ̶W̶o̶w̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶,̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶a̶g̶g̶o̶t̶?̶ ̶S̶t̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶e̶y̶.̶ ̶J̶e̶e̶z̶.̶ While everyone else is arguing over the popular pieces, take an extra 500$ from the bank. Lie if asked about it. You also get to mock the other players mercilessly if you win. "Who's the fag now?"
*Loom: Pay half as much when renting; mortgages pay 20% more.
*Shoe: Same as Horseman.
*Dog: The Dog may take the roll of the previous player instead of rolling their own die.
*̶I̶r̶o̶n̶:̶ ̶S̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶T̶h̶i̶m̶b̶l̶e̶,̶ ̶Q̶u̶e̶e̶r̶ ̶E̶y̶e̶.̶ Oops, got removed. Congrats on being retro, I guess. Or you just didn't care enough to buy a new set. Probably that.
*[[Hat]]: Same as Money Bag; [[Hats]] are classy.
*Cat: Ignore the first time you have to pay rent after passing Go because half the neighbourhood feeds you.
*Bike: Same as Automobile
*Hashtag: Start a smear campaign! Same rules as Battleship
*Emoji: You start with a Get Out Of Jail card.

=== Metanopoly ===
AKA how many ways can you get your opponents to [[Derp|derp]]. Use underhanded meta-game tactics to win, and none of it is "technically" illegal. Haggle, brown-nose, backstab, and generally [[Diplomacy |play pre-WW1 European politics]]. Barter for everything, trick people with word games, do whatever you can to be the nastiest SPAH in [[/v/|a game full of SPAHS]]. Works well with 7+ players, and is great fun against [[Tzeench|that one crafty uncle who shows up at family reunions]]. You know, for a game of Monopoly. Goes shorter than most games because everyone either gets curb-stomped by one guy, calls everyone else a cheater, or gets so [[rage|enraged]] that the game turns into a bar fight and you must use your [[The Book of Weeaboo Fightan Magic|Weeaboo Fightan Magic]] to escape unscathed.

=== Waropoly 40,000 ===
{{heresy}}
''In the grim darkness of the future, there is only passing Go...'' 
[[Image:Monopoly_RogueTrader.jpg|756px]] 
In other news, GW has just announced an official Warhammer 40k Monopoly game. Until that comes out, just use the above board. It'll be basically the same thing.

===Touhopoly===
[[Image:Touhou_Monopoly.jpg|756px]]
 
In the grim future of Gensokyo, the Pentex corporation controls 98% of the habitable land.

=== Settleropoly and Talismanopoly ===

[[Commissar|Shoot the guy who suggested playing Monopoly]] and go play [[Settlers of Catan]] instead.

Or, if you must play [[Ameritrash]], go play [[Talisman]], which is at least interminable in a way that can still provide somewhat interesting decisions for all players 30 turns in.

{{Board Games}}
[[Category:Board Games]]

Monopoly

2018-11-25T13:08:04Z

2A02:810D:B40:15C8:3843:C4D6:5868:FB7C: /* Powers for each of the pieces */

{{Fail}}
[[Image:Monotonylogo.gif|center]]

'''It fucking sucks.''' While it may suck a bag of dog shit, it is (after [[Chess]] and [[Go]]) the most popular tabletop game ever made. Go figure.

It was originally an adaptation of an obscure game known as "The Landlord's Game," which was intended as an educational tool to illustrate the negative aspects of concentrating land in private monopolies, and explain the benefits of the single tax theory of Henry George. However, since "The Landlord's Game" was made by a woman, who was also a Quaker, nobody gave a shit, which was why Charles Darrow was able to modify the original game and sold it off as [[Original character, do not steal|his own original creation]]. Also, he chopped out half of the game, namely, the second half where everyone loses all their money and an Important Lesson is learned about capitalism. Which is why it sucks. Imagine if ''40k'' didn't have a turn limit, and you just played until the opponent was tabled, and both of you got two free units every turn (Isn't that just apocalypse though?). As an historical aside, Mr. Monopoly is an amalgam of William Randolph Hurst (the newspaper billionaire who owned most of congress and started a war) and Samuel Insull (the fellow who monitized electricity).

==How to play Monopoly==
# Go around for 3 hours
# Land on Mayfair with someone else's hotel on it (Boardwalk if you're an Americanfag)Jealous much!
# Flip the board
# ????
# [[Profit]]!

=== No, really? ===
[[Meme|Yah rly.]] The winning condition is "when everyone is broke except for one player." Aside from how "last man standing" boardgames suck, it's possible to play a game that never ends. Try this: get one of the Monopoly computer games, tell it to play with 4 computer players and 0 human players. Put it on 'fast', and come back in a few hours. All four players will have hundreds of thousands of dollars each, with no signs of anyone "losing."

The only way to win is to convince one of your fellow players to do something stupid, like sell you a property you need to complete a set.

This game takes forever. No, I am not kidding you. You, the person who wanted to play the game, will be the only one left after 5 hours of straight gameplay who still wants to play. Everyone else will have [[Khorne|lost patience]], [[Tzeench|fallen asleep]], [[Slaanesh|run out of snacks]], [[Nurgle|died of old age]], or some [[Derp|unholy combination]] of [[What|any or all of the previous four]]. I seriously played one game of Monopoly for THREE MONTHS with my grandmother. My grandfather left after the first three weeks. I have no idea who won. In that time, I probably could have made a pretty awesome character in ANY RPG SYSTEM (yes, even [[Rolemaster]]), and have had four or more truly memorable moments in a campaign.

Most modern iterations of the rules focus on either the game ending when the *first* player becomes bankrupt, or for an arbitrary value of cash and property to be reached. Either vastly speeds the game.

== Monopoly license everything... ==

It is no small joke that Monopoly have made a version of itself to cover just about everything under the sun. You're into normal vanilla monopoly? Get lost, there is way too many weird and wacky flavors to take, although you may get sick after having them.

Here is a concise list of some of the different kinds of monopoly available: Batman and Robin; Beatles; the Big Bang Theory; Bob's Burgers; Cthulhu; Deadpool; Despicable Me; Disney Princesses; Disney Theme Parks; Doctor Who; Dot-Com (where the properties are all Internet companies like Google); Dragonball Z; Dr. Who; Dublin (the actual city); Fallout; F.R.I.E.N.D.S.; Game of Thrones; Gay; Ghostbusters; the Golden Girls; Guardians of the Galaxy; Halo; Harry Potter; Lego; the Lord of the Rings; National Parks (like Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon and shit); the Nightmare before Christmas; Nintendo (which is not to be confused with the individual Mario, Zelda, and Pokemon versions of Monopoly); Northampton (the city, seriously); Pirates of the Caribbean; Pokemon; Powerpuff Girls; Royal Family; Simpsons; Spongebob Squarepants; Star Wars; Star Wars Limited Collector's 20th Anniversary Edition; Star Wars Episode 1 Edition; Star Wars ''Classic'' Trilogy Edition; Star Wars ''Original'' Trilogy Edition (apparently there is a difference between the "classic" trilogy and the "original" trilogy); Star Wars the Clone Wars; Star Wars 40th Anniversary Special Edition; Star Wars with a goddamn Rubik's Cube because that makes a fuckton of sense; Stranger Things; Street Fighter; Super Mario Bros; Supernatural; Toy Story; The Walking Dead; 2010 Fifa World Cup South African edition; CHEATERS EDITION; Guildford (the town in Surrey); Yu-Gi-Oh; and Zelda.

And Twilight. GOOOOODDAAAAAMMMMNNNNNN.

You think the above list is a joke? Then my dear friends you will truly weep, when you discover each one is very, very real... even Gay Monopoly, though it wasn't actually made by Parker Brothers, who sued its creators out of existence back in the '80s for intellectual property infringement.

P.S. Just in case you weren't depressed enough; every single version of Monopoly is literally exactly the same from a rules perspective. Every property and card gets renamed, but the functional rules of the game don't change at all. (Not true with Lord of the Rings Monopoly, Pokemon, and at least a few of the fifty or sixty Star Wars editions)

==/tg/-Approved House Rules ==

Not to be set back by the monotony of Monopoly, /tg/ has, after a period of discussion, decided that the following rules can potentially make a game of Monopoly strategic and more fun.

# Landing on an unowned property incurs an Auction, not a sale. (See [[#The_Rule_Nobody_Uses|below]].)
## Bidding can start either at $1 or the value of the property, with the former allowing cheap purchases and the latter ensuring that all properties will sell at or above their face value.
# A completed color group is not required to purchase improvements on a property, with the exception of Hotels.
## Properties don't collect rent until there is a house on it. Not only does this remove the insanity of paying rent for an empty lot, it makes the utility actual useful, at least in the early game, as those will always be able to collect money.

==Monopoly for Millennials==

"Forget Real Eastate - You can't afford it anyway."

Instead you win with the most Experience Tokens, which conveniently look like social media upvotes (and downvotes >:D ).

The only thing funnier than the game is the meltdown it caused on the internet.

==The Rule Nobody Uses==
'''BREAKING NEWS''' This speeds up the game, and makes it possible to complete sets without some player doing something self-destructively stupid, and it's ''already in the rules'' but nobody uses it!

<blockquote>''If you do not wish to buy the property, the Banker sells it at auction to the highest bidder. The buyer pays the Bank the amount of the bid in cash and receives the Title Deed card for that property. Any player, including the one who declined the option to buy it at the printed price, may bid. Bidding may start at any price.''</blockquote>

It's right there in black and white. [http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/monins.pdf Hasbro Official Rules]

The board gets sold off fast and everybody gets a weird portfolio of random properties, both of which make Metanopoly (see below) more fun and brutal. Note there are plenty of other often-missed rules (no extra houses, no P2P loans, no Free Parking jackpots) that speed the game up, too.

==Special Rules to Make It Fun==
=== Illuminopoly ===

{{Main|Illuminopoly}}

Fixes Monopoly by replacing it with a different property-management game built around the shell-company mechanic from [[Illuminati]]. You're acquiring property... so you can modulate the house wiring and put fluoride in the water and control people's MINDS. (fnord)

=== Solarquest ===
This improves the game by replacing it entirely with a different roll-and-move real estate game.
* [http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/1836/ Solarquest at BoardGameGeek]

=== Fortune Street ===
A vidya version of Monopoly that manages to be a much better game, in the same vein as Solarquest, by replacing it with a better roll-and-move real estate game with more choices and more finance.
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortune_Street Fortune Street at Wikipedia]

=== #OccupyBoardwalk ===

{{Main|Monopoly/OccupyBoardwalk}}

For the anti-American commies who are protesting on Wall Street, you can play the game as the 1%.

=== Powers for each of the pieces ===
*Wheelbarrow: Move an additional spaces equal to your lowest die; gain an additional 25 dollars when passing Go.
*Battleship: You may fire at any piece directly opposite the Battleship, sending them back to Go. They do not gain money from passing Go.
*Money Bag: Gain $300 when passing Go.
*Horseman: Move an additional spaces equal to your lowest die; when the Horseman lands on an occupied space, the Horseman can choose to send all other pieces back five squares or to the Horseman's nearest property, whichever is closer; when sending a piece back to his property, the Horseman must accompany them.
*Automobile: Move twice the number of spaces shown on the die.
*Locomotive: All railroads cost half as much; when rolling a double and not in jail, the Locomotive can move to any owned railroads instead.
*̶T̶h̶i̶m̶b̶l̶e̶:̶ ̶W̶o̶w̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶,̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶a̶g̶g̶o̶t̶?̶ ̶S̶t̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶e̶y̶.̶ ̶J̶e̶e̶z̶.̶ While everyone else is arguing over the popular pieces, take an extra 500$ from the bank. Lie if asked about it. You also get to mock the other players mercilessly if you win. "Who's the fag now?"
*Loom: Pay half as much when renting; mortgages pay 20% more.
*Shoe: Same as Horseman.
*Dog: The Dog may take the roll of the previous player instead of rolling their own die.
*̶I̶r̶o̶n̶:̶ ̶S̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶T̶h̶i̶m̶b̶l̶e̶,̶ ̶Q̶u̶e̶e̶r̶ ̶E̶y̶e̶.̶ Oops, got removed. Congrats on being retro, I guess. Or you just didn't care enough to buy a new set. Probably that.
*[[Hat]]: Same as Money Bag; [[Hats]] are classy.
*Cat: Ignore the first time you have to pay rent after passing Go because half the neighbourhood feeds you.
*Bike: Same as Automobile
*Hashtag: Start a smear campaign! Same rules as Battleship
*Emoji: You start with a Get Out Of Jail card.

=== Metanopoly ===
AKA how many ways can you get your opponents to [[Derp|derp]]. Use underhanded meta-game tactics to win, and none of it is "technically" illegal. Haggle, brown-nose, backstab, and generally [[Diplomacy |play pre-WW1 European politics]]. Barter for everything, trick people with word games, do whatever you can to be the nastiest SPAH in [[/v/|a game full of SPAHS]]. Works well with 7+ players, and is great fun against [[Tzeench|that one crafty uncle who shows up at family reunions]]. You know, for a game of Monopoly. Goes shorter than most games because everyone either gets curb-stomped by one guy, calls everyone else a cheater, or gets so [[rage|enraged]] that the game turns into a bar fight and you must use your [[The Book of Weeaboo Fightan Magic|Weeaboo Fightan Magic]] to escape unscathed.

=== Waropoly 40,000 ===
{{heresy}}
''In the grim darkness of the future, there is only passing Go...'' 
[[Image:Monopoly_RogueTrader.jpg|756px]] 
In other news, GW has just announced an official Warhammer 40k Monopoly game. Until that comes out, just use the above board. It'll be basically the same thing.

===Touhopoly===
[[Image:Touhou_Monopoly.jpg|756px]]
 
In the grim future of Gensokyo, the Pentex corporation controls 98% of the habitable land.

=== Settleropoly and Talismanopoly ===

[[Commissar|Shoot the guy who suggested playing Monopoly]] and go play [[Settlers of Catan]] instead.

Or, if you must play [[Ameritrash]], go play [[Talisman]], which is at least interminable in a way that can still provide somewhat interesting decisions for all players 30 turns in.

{{Board Games}}
[[Category:Board Games]]

Monopoly

2018-11-25T12:59:24Z

2A02:810D:B40:15C8:3843:C4D6:5868:FB7C:

{{Fail}}
[[Image:Monotonylogo.gif|center]]

'''It fucking sucks.''' While it may suck a bag of dog shit, it is (after [[Chess]] and [[Go]]) the most popular tabletop game ever made. Go figure.

It was originally an adaptation of an obscure game known as "The Landlord's Game," which was intended as an educational tool to illustrate the negative aspects of concentrating land in private monopolies, and explain the benefits of the single tax theory of Henry George. However, since "The Landlord's Game" was made by a woman, who was also a Quaker, nobody gave a shit, which was why Charles Darrow was able to modify the original game and sold it off as [[Original character, do not steal|his own original creation]]. Also, he chopped out half of the game, namely, the second half where everyone loses all their money and an Important Lesson is learned about capitalism. Which is why it sucks. Imagine if ''40k'' didn't have a turn limit, and you just played until the opponent was tabled, and both of you got two free units every turn (Isn't that just apocalypse though?). As an historical aside, Mr. Monopoly is an amalgam of William Randolph Hurst (the newspaper billionaire who owned most of congress and started a war) and Samuel Insull (the fellow who monitized electricity).

==How to play Monopoly==
# Go around for 3 hours
# Land on Mayfair with someone else's hotel on it (Boardwalk if you're an Americanfag)Jealous much!
# Flip the board
# ????
# [[Profit]]!

=== No, really? ===
[[Meme|Yah rly.]] The winning condition is "when everyone is broke except for one player." Aside from how "last man standing" boardgames suck, it's possible to play a game that never ends. Try this: get one of the Monopoly computer games, tell it to play with 4 computer players and 0 human players. Put it on 'fast', and come back in a few hours. All four players will have hundreds of thousands of dollars each, with no signs of anyone "losing."

The only way to win is to convince one of your fellow players to do something stupid, like sell you a property you need to complete a set.

This game takes forever. No, I am not kidding you. You, the person who wanted to play the game, will be the only one left after 5 hours of straight gameplay who still wants to play. Everyone else will have [[Khorne|lost patience]], [[Tzeench|fallen asleep]], [[Slaanesh|run out of snacks]], [[Nurgle|died of old age]], or some [[Derp|unholy combination]] of [[What|any or all of the previous four]]. I seriously played one game of Monopoly for THREE MONTHS with my grandmother. My grandfather left after the first three weeks. I have no idea who won. In that time, I probably could have made a pretty awesome character in ANY RPG SYSTEM (yes, even [[Rolemaster]]), and have had four or more truly memorable moments in a campaign.

Most modern iterations of the rules focus on either the game ending when the *first* player becomes bankrupt, or for an arbitrary value of cash and property to be reached. Either vastly speeds the game.

== Monopoly license everything... ==

It is no small joke that Monopoly have made a version of itself to cover just about everything under the sun. You're into normal vanilla monopoly? Get lost, there is way too many weird and wacky flavors to take, although you may get sick after having them.

Here is a concise list of some of the different kinds of monopoly available: Batman and Robin; Beatles; the Big Bang Theory; Bob's Burgers; Cthulhu; Deadpool; Despicable Me; Disney Princesses; Disney Theme Parks; Doctor Who; Dot-Com (where the properties are all Internet companies like Google); Dragonball Z; Dr. Who; Dublin (the actual city); Fallout; F.R.I.E.N.D.S.; Game of Thrones; Gay; Ghostbusters; the Golden Girls; Guardians of the Galaxy; Halo; Harry Potter; Lego; the Lord of the Rings; National Parks (like Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon and shit); the Nightmare before Christmas; Nintendo (which is not to be confused with the individual Mario, Zelda, and Pokemon versions of Monopoly); Northampton (the city, seriously); Pirates of the Caribbean; Pokemon; Powerpuff Girls; Royal Family; Simpsons; Spongebob Squarepants; Star Wars; Star Wars Limited Collector's 20th Anniversary Edition; Star Wars Episode 1 Edition; Star Wars ''Classic'' Trilogy Edition; Star Wars ''Original'' Trilogy Edition (apparently there is a difference between the "classic" trilogy and the "original" trilogy); Star Wars the Clone Wars; Star Wars 40th Anniversary Special Edition; Star Wars with a goddamn Rubik's Cube because that makes a fuckton of sense; Stranger Things; Street Fighter; Super Mario Bros; Supernatural; Toy Story; The Walking Dead; 2010 Fifa World Cup South African edition; CHEATERS EDITION; Guildford (the town in Surrey); Yu-Gi-Oh; and Zelda.

And Twilight. GOOOOODDAAAAAMMMMNNNNNN.

You think the above list is a joke? Then my dear friends you will truly weep, when you discover each one is very, very real... even Gay Monopoly, though it wasn't actually made by Parker Brothers, who sued its creators out of existence back in the '80s for intellectual property infringement.

P.S. Just in case you weren't depressed enough; every single version of Monopoly is literally exactly the same from a rules perspective. Every property and card gets renamed, but the functional rules of the game don't change at all. (Not true with Lord of the Rings Monopoly, Pokemon, and at least a few of the fifty or sixty Star Wars editions)

==/tg/-Approved House Rules ==

Not to be set back by the monotony of Monopoly, /tg/ has, after a period of discussion, decided that the following rules can potentially make a game of Monopoly strategic and more fun.

# Landing on an unowned property incurs an Auction, not a sale. (See [[#The_Rule_Nobody_Uses|below]].)
## Bidding can start either at $1 or the value of the property, with the former allowing cheap purchases and the latter ensuring that all properties will sell at or above their face value.
# A completed color group is not required to purchase improvements on a property, with the exception of Hotels.
## Properties don't collect rent until there is a house on it. Not only does this remove the insanity of paying rent for an empty lot, it makes the utility actual useful, at least in the early game, as those will always be able to collect money.

==Monopoly for Millennials==

"Forget Real Eastate - You can't afford it anyway."

Instead you win with the most Experience Tokens, which conveniently look like social media upvotes (and downvotes >:D ).

The only thing funnier than the game is the meltdown it caused on the internet.

==The Rule Nobody Uses==
'''BREAKING NEWS''' This speeds up the game, and makes it possible to complete sets without some player doing something self-destructively stupid, and it's ''already in the rules'' but nobody uses it!

<blockquote>''If you do not wish to buy the property, the Banker sells it at auction to the highest bidder. The buyer pays the Bank the amount of the bid in cash and receives the Title Deed card for that property. Any player, including the one who declined the option to buy it at the printed price, may bid. Bidding may start at any price.''</blockquote>

It's right there in black and white. [http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/monins.pdf Hasbro Official Rules]

The board gets sold off fast and everybody gets a weird portfolio of random properties, both of which make Metanopoly (see below) more fun and brutal. Note there are plenty of other often-missed rules (no extra houses, no P2P loans, no Free Parking jackpots) that speed the game up, too.

==Special Rules to Make It Fun==
=== Illuminopoly ===

{{Main|Illuminopoly}}

Fixes Monopoly by replacing it with a different property-management game built around the shell-company mechanic from [[Illuminati]]. You're acquiring property... so you can modulate the house wiring and put fluoride in the water and control people's MINDS. (fnord)

=== Solarquest ===
This improves the game by replacing it entirely with a different roll-and-move real estate game.
* [http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/1836/ Solarquest at BoardGameGeek]

=== Fortune Street ===
A vidya version of Monopoly that manages to be a much better game, in the same vein as Solarquest, by replacing it with a better roll-and-move real estate game with more choices and more finance.
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortune_Street Fortune Street at Wikipedia]

=== #OccupyBoardwalk ===

{{Main|Monopoly/OccupyBoardwalk}}

For the anti-American commies who are protesting on Wall Street, you can play the game as the 1%.

=== Powers for each of the pieces ===
*Wheelbarrow: Move an additional spaces equal to your lowest die; gain an additional 25 dollars when passing Go.
*Battleship: You may fire at any piece directly opposite the Battleship, sending them back to Go. They do not gain money from passing Go.
*Money Bag: Gain $300 when passing Go.
*Horseman: Move an additional spaces equal to your lowest die; when the Horseman lands on an occupied space, the Horseman can choose to send all other pieces back five squares or to the Horseman's nearest property, whichever is closer; when sending a piece back to his property, the Horseman must accompany them.
*Automobile: Move twice the number of spaces shown on the die.
*Locomotive: All railroads cost half as much; when rolling a double and not in jail, the Locomotive can move to any owned railroads instead.
*̶T̶h̶i̶m̶b̶l̶e̶:̶ ̶W̶o̶w̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶,̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶a̶g̶g̶o̶t̶?̶ ̶S̶t̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶e̶y̶.̶ ̶J̶e̶e̶z̶.̶ While everyone else is arguing over the popular pieces, take an extra 500$ from the bank. Lie if asked about it. You also get to mock the other players mercilessly if you win. "Who's the fag now?"
*Loom: Pay half as much when renting; mortgages pay 20% more.
*Shoe: Same as Horseman.
*Dog: The Dog may take the roll of the previous player instead of rolling their own die.
*̶I̶r̶o̶n̶:̶ ̶S̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶T̶h̶i̶m̶b̶l̶e̶,̶ ̶Q̶u̶e̶e̶r̶ ̶E̶y̶e̶.̶ Oops, got removed. Congrats on being retro, I guess. Or you just didn't care enough to buy a new set. Probably that.
*[[Hat]]: Same as Money Bag; [[Hats]] are classy.
*Cat: The cat doesn't do anything. But it does give you an excuse to leave the game earlier...

=== Metanopoly ===
AKA how many ways can you get your opponents to [[Derp|derp]]. Use underhanded meta-game tactics to win, and none of it is "technically" illegal. Haggle, brown-nose, backstab, and generally [[Diplomacy |play pre-WW1 European politics]]. Barter for everything, trick people with word games, do whatever you can to be the nastiest SPAH in [[/v/|a game full of SPAHS]]. Works well with 7+ players, and is great fun against [[Tzeench|that one crafty uncle who shows up at family reunions]]. You know, for a game of Monopoly. Goes shorter than most games because everyone either gets curb-stomped by one guy, calls everyone else a cheater, or gets so [[rage|enraged]] that the game turns into a bar fight and you must use your [[The Book of Weeaboo Fightan Magic|Weeaboo Fightan Magic]] to escape unscathed.

=== Waropoly 40,000 ===
{{heresy}}
''In the grim darkness of the future, there is only passing Go...'' 
[[Image:Monopoly_RogueTrader.jpg|756px]] 
In other news, GW has just announced an official Warhammer 40k Monopoly game. Until that comes out, just use the above board. It'll be basically the same thing.

===Touhopoly===
[[Image:Touhou_Monopoly.jpg|756px]]
 
In the grim future of Gensokyo, the Pentex corporation controls 98% of the habitable land.

=== Settleropoly and Talismanopoly ===

[[Commissar|Shoot the guy who suggested playing Monopoly]] and go play [[Settlers of Catan]] instead.

Or, if you must play [[Ameritrash]], go play [[Talisman]], which is at least interminable in a way that can still provide somewhat interesting decisions for all players 30 turns in.

{{Board Games}}
[[Category:Board Games]]