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World of Warcraft

2026-05-27T14:19:07Z

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{{topquote|Too many cooks spoil the broth.|John Hooker "The Life and Times of Sir Peter Carew" (also applicable to WoW's dev team)}}
[[File:Warcraft.jpg|thumb|right|500px|Experience the sense of wonder, exploration, hilarity, and adventure... before the stat-crunching, addons, memes, [[/d/|ERP]], [[RAGE|retcons]], [[FAIL|Matt-Ward-when-he-is-being-forced-to-shill-in-codices-and-not-having-fun-with-game-dialogue-tier writing]] and grinding chips away at your soul leaving you wondering where ten years went.]]
'''World of Warcraft''' is a [[MMORPG|Massively-Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Game]] created by [[Blizzard]], based on their popular series of [[Warcraft]] real-time strategy games. It is often suggested that [[Wizards of the Coast]] was strongly influenced by World of Warcraft (and possibly other similar MMOs) when designing the [[Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition|4th edition]] of [[Dungeons & Dragons]] - in particular the power-based combat system. Whether or not this is a good or bad thing depends on what you think about World of Warcraft and/or 4th edition. As one can guess, Warcraft's popularity and history have led to it being a popular target of hate and bile, especially among its greatest fans. Expect a fair amount of rhetoric and [[Skub]] to follow.

Note that if you're serious about actually learning about Warcraft's lore, you should probably go to Wowpedia (Not WoWWiki, that shit sucks) for less lackluster information. But be warned: Wikia's dumbfuck UI is slowing eating that wiki.

This page covers the information about World of Warcraft. For info on the specific [[/tg/]] related media, see [[World of Warcraft: The Board Game]] and [[World of Warcraft: The Roleplaying Game]].

==Setting information==
[[File:Warcraft magic.jpg|thumb|How the setting's planes and forces connect ([[Retcon|according to the Titans]])]]
===Light and Void===
<s>The two primary forces in the setting.</s> Retcon time! Two of a myriad of forces, <s>these two were nailed down as the Big Bang of Warcraft.</s> MORE RETCON TIME! The six forces in the image may be equal with Death as the top dog. In earlier versions of the plot, the Void also used to be called the Shadow, and was a part of the Twisting Nether. The Holy Light of Creation is drawn to and bolstered by faith and positive feelings, not inherently good (despite human religion thinking of it as a god; however in the RTS games the Light '''was''' the big-G God, maybe even the Judeo-Christian God. Retcons strike again), now it's an unspecified holy power which can be called upon if you assume that you can and grants courage and willpower (unless you're drawing on another power besides Arcane). The Void eats things and can turn you insane, yet also grants creativity to living beings. Both can give prophecy and visions of the future, but neither has the full picture (the Light causes zealous certainty while the Void causes maddening doublethink).

Originally the Light vs Void conflict was Good vs Evil, but Blizzard made some of the Light's followers ruthless and having people listening to the Void fighting its corrupting influence. Despite Blizzard bending over backwards to try and give the Light a bad side, the Light is still much better than the Void (Light nurtures while Void consumes, the Void's endgame is to corrupt a Titan and destroy everything else while the Light at worst just wants to stabilize and rule everything).

====Naaru====
The angels of the setting and Vorlon knock-offs, the Naaru are glowing windchimes/energy beings with crystal "bodies". Their mission is to keep the other cosmic forces in check and bring hope, they are (supposedly) powerful and (mostly) benevolent but do not do much. Their names all have apostrophes in them. Despite the Light's primary enemy being the Void, the highest-ranking Naaru encountered thus far, Xe'ra, concentrated her efforts on fighting the Burning Legion until her story turned to [[Skub]] and she was jobbed to shill Illidan (more on him below). They can also reproduce somehow and some have genders.

Most of them try to heal worlds ravaged by the Legion or the Void, with the ones encountered so far helping or assist the player characters and heroic factions. When a Naaru dies or gets infused with Void, it becomes a void god and starts eating things, unless it is completely destroyed (since Xe'ra didn't turn into a Void God during or after her jobbing death) or can be reset to being a Naaru if they're not killed. A Void Naaru that's killed goes to the Void. Naaru can build crystalline spaceships, which the draenei then crash.

Originally the Naaru were all good except when they got void-infused, but Blizzard decided they needed an edgelord retcon and suddenly undermined their [[Lawful Good|good guy status]] to make some "Extreme order/religious extremist" villains ([[Lawful Neutral]] but the story treats them like [[Lawful Evil]]; pay no attention to their valid complaints, such as the Iron Horde or Old Gods) because it wouldn't be a Blizzard game without [[Edgy|a force of Order getting the villain bat]] (they set up the Titans for this in Wrath, then the Naaru in Legion, though the Titans are getting it again in Dragonflight).

====The Old Gods====
Giant Cthulhu space cancer sent by the Void Lords to consume planets and find and corrupt a Titan worldsoul. They corrupt everything they touch and that serves them. In older lore they acted on their own, but they go retconed into being creations of the Void Lords. Their primary purpose is to corrupt a titan world-soul and become unstoppable universe-eaters. Chained beneath Azeroth due to presumed indestructibility (and the very bad side effects if they are killed) by the Titans. They are breaking out one by one. The four Old Gods (on Azeroth) are:

* C'Thun - Imprisoned in a massive desert in the southwest of Azeroth, this Old God commands an army of insect creatures that infested the research station that was built around its body (it had arachnid minions, but they were separated during a war and became atheists before they all died; Northrend's Nerubians are descended from them). It consists of a fleshy body covered in eyes with a mouth on top and tentacles everywhere. Feigning death after a battle with a titan, it was able to heal enough to pose a threat yet again until it was killed once again.
* Yogg-Saron - Imprisoned in the far north of Azeroth, this Old God corrupted the leadership of the remaining titan minions on Azeroth before almost breaking out. It was only imprisoned because at that point the Titans learned killing Old Gods had very bad side effects for the world, so it was imprisoned and its power contained. Its body is covered in mouths, even where it looks like there should be eyes, and it also has a tentacle theme going. Its blood can be strip-mined and made into decently powerful things. This stuff, called Saronite, on the other hand is one of the most corruptive substances on the planet and only the Undead can actually use it safely, due to the Lich King overriding Yogg-Sarons whispers. Claims to have invented Death, and was implied to be fighting the Lich King for control of the Scourge (or subtly drove Arthas down his road when he was in Northrend, it's not really clear). Has minions called the faceless ones (think Illithid, but with no mouth). Killed during Wrath, but Legion hints it's either making a comeback or manifesting something like the Sha.
* N'Zoth - Imprisoned somewhere under an ocean, this Old God corrupted the Emerald Dream into the Emerald Nightmare and commanded Deathwing to blow up Azeroth. Has different faceless one minions. Looks like a multi-eyed octopus with a crown of teeth around its head. Also invented Naga and worked with Azshara to escape his prison. Raised the city-throne of <s>R'yleh</s> Nya'lotha (by summoning it to the past from a future where he had already built it) and started driving people around the world insane for a few hours, only to get promptly Kamehameha'd by the player.
* Y'Shaarj - The former Old God king. Got one-shot by Aman'thul, the leader of the titans, leaving the Well of Eternity as a bleeding wound in the world. "Imprisoned" in the center of Pandaria, this Old God died in the war with the titans, leaving only its heart instead of a giant mass of flesh embedded into the planet. Had some bro-ish mantis minions. Its death caused negative emotions in Pandaria to turn into monsters that look like spiky tentacle monsters covered in oil. After the destruction of its heart, it went from dead-dead to dead-dead-dead.
* Something somewhere - There used to be a fifth Old God, but Blizzard seemed to have decided/realized they had no plans for it so they retconned it out of existence. It might have been Xal'atath, who was an Old God that got eaten except for a single claw that became a dagger her essence inhabits. May have originally intended to be Azeroth itself (check the name; Azeroth -> Azathoth). Later retconned to be G'huun.
** G'huun - After trying to make a substance that kills the Old Gods without harming their surroundings (see Y'Shaarj), the titans ended up accidentally making a fifth one, themed after rot, so they put the facility into lockdown to keep it contained there. Imprisoned in the swamps to the north of the Zandalari Empire, a corpulent slug with stubby legs and a lamprey-like mouth. He teaches the secret of Blood Magic, and had corrupted several of the titan's creations.

====Voidlords====
The Voidwalkers are void-elementals that act like demons but are not.

It turns out that the voidwalkers, with their secret leaders called the 'Voidlords', are now part of the primary evil force in the setting. Not just the Void being the source of metaphysical evil, but the Voidlord leadership disturbing Sargeras into creating the Burning Legion in order to stop them, and inventing the Old Gods as planet-eating, people-corrupting probes.

Even less is known about the Voidlords themselves, though according to Xal'atath (so already dubious), the "faintest echos" of one of them led to the destruction of the Space Mummies' (Ethereals') planet. Major deal danger until the next retcon.

===Twisting Nether===
Basically the [[Warp]], but much less inherently evil if you factor out the locals. The line between the flow of the Light and the ebb of the Void. Full of demons, ones that are actually flesh and blood rather than ethereal-turning-temporarily-corporeal monsters. Also full of magic that nearly all generic magical spells use. There's even only one instance of the Twisting Nether in the Warcraft multiverse, just like the Warp (maybe).

===The Titans===
Heavy-metal terraformers. [[Lawful Neutral]] beings that benevolently order planets to promote life throughout the cosmos, these metallic space-giants are based on the Norse and Greek pantheons (with a little bit of Egyptian, and an even smaller bit of Chinese). Born from planets with souls, those planets eventually hatch (without destroying the planet) and the titan goes off and does whatever. Their creations tend to either be apathetic or outright [[Lawful Stupid]] (their highest-ranking servant Exterminatus-ing a 'million million' lives [or one trillion for a better idea] because they were flawed), but they usually mean well ('flawed' can mean being eaten by giant sentient space cancer; see above). The Titans themselves can grow large enough to wield blades that cleave planets in half. In earlier lore they were still running about, but in the current they are all dead at the hands of their champion turned traitor Sargeras (who was killed during the War of the Ancients due to a portal closing on either his main body or his primary avatar, but his soul survived).

The Titans souls survived, dwelling in the Titanic watchers of Azeroth for a time until Sargeras got the Burning Legion to capture the other Titans' souls. He had already turned the unborn Titan Argus into fuel so the demons can come back from things that would otherwise permanently kill them. Legion revealed that Sargeras' master plan was to restore the Titan Pantheon to their full power with the others under his control - he succeeded in turning his former understudy in demon-killing - Aggramar, birth the Titan Azeroth, [[/d/|make her his consort]] and finish his work of killing everything in the universe. The Nathrezim had also subverted Sargeras' plans and corrupted Argus to use his soul as a weapon against the Arbiter in the Shadowlands.

===Elune===
Elune (or Mu'sha, as she is called by the tauren) is the primary goddess of the night elf pantheon and a major goddess of the Tauren. She is associated with the larger of Azeroth's two moons, the White Lady, and is widely considered to be the mother of Cenarius, the forest lord and patron god of all druids. Speculation about what Elune is and her nature abound throughout the lore and the fandom (the most popular fan theories call her a Naaru or another name for the titan Azeroth). Confirmed miracles include protecting Tyrande from Archimonde, empowering Moonwells and purifying Ysera's spirit and the Tear of Elune.

Recent lore indicated that Elune made the Naaru and is connected to the Light. Khadgar states it as a theory, the Tear of Elune unlocks Light's Heart and the Prime Naaru Xe'ra stated she and other Naaru were made during something called "the Ordering of the Cosmos", making Xe'ra at least as old as the Titans. This could make Elune either the Light-based counterpoint of the Void Lords or the Warcraft universe's version of God. Interestingly, in Warcraft 3 Elune was referred to as Azeroth's "only true deity", at a point when the Light was already part of the setting and she was introduced alongside the Titans, the Tauren's Earth Mother and the Wild Gods like Cenarius... until that lore was retconned too.

Leaks from Shadowlands suggested that Warcraft would go the DnD route with levels of gods, and Elune is a god - known as one of the "First Ones" - who's ranked just below the ultimate big-G God of the setting. This seemed further reinforced when Elune's champion Tyrande soundly defeated the Jailer's champion Sylvanas. Then she was revealed to be the sister of the Shadowlands entity the Winter Queen, making Elune just a "Life Titan" (which raises more questions than answers).

===The Wild Gods===
Eventually, a planet with life on it will just start producing giant immortal animals. If they hang out with night elves, they are Ancient Guardians. If they hang out with trolls, they are Loa. If they hang out with pandas, they are August Celestials. Their children can either be [[beastmen|humanoid animals]] or just intelligent animals. On Azeroth, the servants of the titans connected them to the Emerald Dream and taught some of them to talk.

===The Emerald Dream===
Basically the [[Feywild]], despite possibly pre-dating it.

The Emerald Dream is an unchanging copy of Azeroth's natural world, untouched by civilization. It serves as the afterlife for plants and animals. It is a universal force, but the titan's nailed down Azeroth's after the Old Gods messed with it, making it somewhat separate. Through the surreal Dreamways, this blueprint is connected to the subconscious mind of every living thing on the planet. It exists so that if the Old Gods break out and Azeroth goes to shit, it can be copy-pasted onto the world via the Re-Origination procedure, completely wiping out all previously existing life on the planet.

A force called the Nightmare emerged after the Third War to mess things up and make the entire dream twisted and surreal, driving wildlife and green dragons insane, promoting deviation and mutation in lifeforms, and severing the souls of sleeping druids from their bodies. The responsible party turned out to be Xavius working for the Old Gods.

===The Shadowlands===
Basically the [[Shadowfell]], despite possibly pre-dating it. The Shadowlands are a grey echo of the living world as it is, inhabited by the ghosts of intelligent creatures and the spirit healers (feral titan creations who send back souls that died before their time). That is i-

''Suddenly, '''RETCON VIA EXPANSION PACK!!'''''

Oh wait, it is actually a series of floating afterlife-continents that souls are sorted into. Also contains a whirlpool/black hole called The Maw, which is Warcraft's equivalent of hell. All other places in the Shadowlands give the dead soul an afterlife where they will be transformed into a part of that afterlife, though it may not happen quick - as in, within the first two millennia of you being there. All of it is supposedly created by [[Old Ones|"The First Ones"]] who predate even the Titans.

In the metaphysical middle of the deathly pea-soup is the Oribos, a floating city-tower/airport where souls are sent to be judged before being sent off to the appropriate afterlife. It's the "city" of the Shadowlands expansion.

===The First Ones===
Remember the Titans above? These long-dead gods have their whole deal but one metaphysical level higher. From their HQ under the Shadowlands, they mixed the six forces of the universe in a giant factory and built the six planes and reality in the center. Afterlives are smelted in a big ball and sent off to float wherever. Then they 3D-printed the gods of the Shadowlands and had some secret plan that we don't know. The Jailer thought that plan was doomed to fail for reasons we don't know, so he tried to break the system through unspecified means. For his actions, the other secretly robotic gods subdued him, evicted him and locked him in the Maw.

===The Burning Legion===
A militarized demonic army created when Sargeras, a titan tasked with defending creation, saw the ever-respawning, ever-dickish, and ever-hungry nature of demons and went nuts to embrace nihilistic violence. Now they systematically unmake the multiverse to undo the metaphysical flaw that allowed them to exist in the first place. Azeroth is the only known world where they failed.

The aforementioned flaw turns out to be the Void, but demons were a secondary problem, not the problem: the Old Gods corrupting fetal titans was. Now the universe has to be unmade without the Void, but Light + Void = matter with fel as a by-product of that, but demons hate the Light too so no idea how that works.

Azeroth is so far the only world to ever withstand one of the Burning Legion's invasions. They did not take well to this and have been plotting to get even, but since just marching in failed they made plans to create another army to soften up any defenses that could impede them. '''Revenge Plan A''' was the Orc Horde, which nearly worked until the Orcs lost, and settled down and became among the defenders of the world they were supposed to destroy. Oops. '''Revenge Plan B''' (their second invasion) was the Undead Scourge, led by the Lich King, which succeeded in obliterating the human kingdoms of Lordaeron and Alterac; almost obliterating the elf kingdom of Quel'thalas; corrupting the Sunwell; forcing the human kingdoms of Gilneas, Dalaran, and Kul Tiras into hibernation; sapping Stromgarde's military forces just enough for it to be destroyed by ogres; and generally making a mess of the only organized military force in the eastern hemisphere. By the time they were done, Stormwind was the only human kingdom (out of the original seven) still in existence and in contact with the outside world. This plan hit a snag due to three factors: an extremely large faction of Scourge, led by Sylvanas Windrunner, broke free from the Lich King's control, signed a pact with the Horde, and became a resistance force just as powerful as the kingdoms it replaced; Lich King freed from its prison after Illidan (who was forced to re-fulfill Kil'jaeden's request to destroy the lich king after his first failure) beaten in a duel against Arthas and allowed him to merge and become the Lich King's host; The Invasion of Kalimdor was going well until in the final phase when Archimonde the defiler was met with the combine forces of night elves, humans and orcs, who were buying time for Malfurion to dealt the final blow against Archimonde and made the invaders run between their tails with their leader dead. '''Revenge Plan C''' was to funnel their forces through Outland, which became a portal hub when Ner'zhul made it into one to escape the Alliance. Retroactively, this is not seen as an invasion because they never made it to Azeroth in force. '''Revenge Plan D''' was just to show up again using the Tomb of Sargeras (a second portal was buried there and sealed, and they went through one of two Gul'dans before they managed to open it).

Also, for another retcon, one of the higher-ranking types of demon in the Burning Legion, the Nathrezim, turn out to "actually" be the agents of a death titan-equivalent who's playing 5d chess trying to infiltrate and defeat the other cosmic forces and screwed some of them over.

===The War of the Ancients===
The most important event in the backstory. Exactly 10,000 years before the Dark Portal opened and the orcs invaded Azeroth, the night elf empire ruled nearly all of the old super-continent of Kalimdor. Their leader, Queen Azshara, was the most vain, egotistical jerk that you can imagine, but her public face was that of the perfect queen. Wanting to kill off everything that was ugly, not an elf, or poor and become queen of everything forever she and her chief advisor Xavius found Sargeras and she decided that a massive omnicidal giant of molten bronze would make a good husband. She helps the demons invade and many heroes are killed. A resistance movement forms, mostly Night Elves and dragons but there are other participants, that eventually blows up the Well of Eternity. The aftereffects were many: The super-continent was split into <s>two</s><s>three</s>four smaller continents and some islands that all lost contact with each other, Sargeras essentially died, Queen Azshara and her servitors became the naga, Xavius' followers became the satyr, the black dragonflight turned evil, and the remaining night elves became druids and left their old cities to rot and went from a nepotistic monarchy to a meritocracy/theocracy combo society. Also, the Old Gods tried to break out by first rewriting history to make sure that they never lost to the titans in the first place (which they failed at, but fixing that took the bronze dragon leader Nozdormu out of the war), and then by redirecting Sargeras' summoning portal to their prisons (which almost worked, and nearly happened again in ''Legion'').

===The Undead Scourge===
An army of undead made by the Burning Legion to act as a replacement for the orcs. The demon Kil'jaeden, second in command of the Burning Legion under Sargeras, made this army when he took an Orc named Ner'zhul and used unholy tortures to force him into forming this undead force. After Ner'zhul agreed to serve Kil'jaeden again, his disembodied soul was put into a suit of armor frozen in a block of ice known as the Lich King. During this time he experimented with dark magic and plagues, his main creation being a magical plague that turned creatures (mainly humans) into undead minions that were telepathically controlled by the Lich King. After warring with some spider-people called Nerubians, he turned many of them into his undead minions and adopted their architectural style for the Scourge. From then on he sent forces to Lorderaen. There the plague was distributed by Kel'Thuzad, a mage from the human kingdoms who was fascinated with necromancy, went mad with power and made a deal with the Lich King that led to him becoming a lich. They took over Northrend and Lordaeron.

They were also kept on a short leash serving the Burning Legion by a subfaction of demons called the Dreadlords, since Ner'zhul was helping the Legion under duress and knew they considered him expendable. He made an escape plan, using Arthas, a former human prince and paladin turned into an undead [[Blackguard|Death Knight]], as a pawn/host. After helping Kel'thuzad and Ner'zhul uphold their end of the deal serving the Burning Legion, Ner'zhul got the Scourge to indirectly undermine the Legion. With the dreadlords focused on helping their fellow demons and not paying attention to the undead, the Scourge went AWOL and started doing their own evil things.

After the Burning Legion's second defeat, Kil'jaeden was mad at the Lich King for going rogue so he looked for someone to kill him. He eventually found and gave the task to Illidan Stormrage, a roguish Night Elf and light BDSM enthusiast, now turned to a renegade half-Night Elf, half-demon light BDSM enthusiast. (Though Illidan had no stakes in this game, this task was of the "offer you can't refuse" variety, the deal sweetened by Kil'jaeden offering to feed his magic crack addiction) Illidan gathered up his followers and used an artifact to melt the Lich King from two continents away, but Illidan was stopped halfway when his brother Malfurion <s>beat him up</s> nicely asked him to stop. Illidan was now forced to go to Northrend and finish the job in person, but he got his ass handed to him by <s>Spiderman</s> the undead leader of the spider-people and Arthas, now the Lich King's champion and the protagonist of the Undead campaign.

During all this, the Lich King's ice had cracked open and he wasn't feeling too well. Because he wasn't in top shape, about half of the Scourge woke up and threw off the Lich King's control, becoming a new faction called the Forsaken. The Forsaken took control of Lordaeron and would go on to do lots of evil of their own, but would maintain the image of being the edgy, morally-ambiguous faction. The Lich King got better by getting himself a new body by possessing/fusing with Arthas. Arthas then preceded to beatdown Ner'zhul's spirit so he was calling the shots instead. Though he would have to consolidate, this whole fiasco was more or less over, and the Lich King decided he needed some rest and took a nap for several years. Though they were mostly quiet until the Wrath of the Lich King expansion, the Scourge continued actions to keep their hold on their half of Lordaeron, occasionally made some noise to remind the player base that they were still a thing, and also expanded to include such things as undead dragons and elf vampires.

By the time the Burning Legion showed up in... ''Legion'', the Lich King was now a former paladin named Bolvar, and he made an alliance with the Death Knights of the Ebon Blade (now led by the player characters) and has started to bolster his forces (angering the Red Dragonflight and stepping on the toes of the Paladin order in the process) to fight the demons. However, there were rumblings that Lich King Bolvar wouldn't keep the Scourge passive for much longer, but these have been waylaid as Sylvanas made a deal with a major death entity and her Grim Reaper sugar daddy gave her powers that allowed her to plot armor her way to victory over the Lich King. He was last seen chained up on Icecrown while Sylvanas shattered the helm, destroying the Lich King as an entity but still keeping undead Bolvar as the Scourge boss-man.

===Dragonflights===
On Azeroth, to counter the five Old Gods, the titans empowered five colors of dragons each lead by an Aspect to watch over various things on Azeroth. The God-Aspect relationship is not 1:1.
* Reds led by the Dragonqueen Alexstrasza the Life-Binder protect life, and generally only kill mortals when the Reds are enslaved or acting as giant 'keep out' signs when the mortals are doing something stupid. Tied with Greens in terms of how much they suck at their job, being subjugated, corrupted and killed at every turn for the PC to step in and save the day.
* Greens led by Ysera the Dreamer watch over a giant blueprint of the planet called the Emerald Dream, which is an alternate plane or even a series of planes tied into the planet. They are more savage than the reds, but also sleepier. Mercy killed by Tyrande and the Night Elves after infected with the Emerald Nightmare by Xavius, but Elune cleansed her soul which resides in the purified part of the Emerald Dream.
* Blues led by Malygos the Spell-Weaver protect mortals from magic, and magic from mortals. After getting slaughtered in the War of the Ancients, Malygos went crazy and into a deep depression, which kept him from doing his job for about 10 millennia. With time travel fixing their numbers and some delicious nether dragons fixing their unstable leader, Malygos decided to make up for lost time by killing all mortal spellcasters and blasting all magic into space (which is bad). Killed in Wrath by the player characters and red dragons on the orders of the remaining Aspects after failing to show up for his trial.
* Bronzes led by Nozdormu the Timeless One keep time from being altered. They are nice enough, but their primary character trait of "stoicism" tends for them be pretty boring as individuals, then the one who wasn't like that turned out to be an idiotic megalomanic who was quickly killed off. Norzdomu's still alive, but fated to turn evil and die in the future.
* Blacks led by Neltharion the Earth-Warder to keep geology stable. Having a sucky job that was right next to the Old Gods caused their leader to go insane and become Deathwing, the Aspect of Death and a Saturday morning cartoon villain. He was actually a plenty good schemer until he got made so powerful in the Cataclysm expansion that the only thing keeping him from winning was that he just... didn't get around to doing it. Killed by the combined efforts of the players, the Dragon Aspects and Thrall. Only two uncorrupted black dragons remain in Azeroth (not counting player mounts and pets) are Wrathion and Ebyssian (both of who were purified of Old God influence by the power of the Titans).
** Chromatic dragons are evil mixtures of all types of dragons, made by Deathwing's eldest son Nefarian. Chromatus was a five-headed example and the most powerful one produced, nearly defeating the Aspects themselves in battle; he was eventually incapacitated and his body locked in a magic vault since his artificial nature and combined draconic powers have rendered him unkillable (enough magic will turn him on again).
** Nether dragons are black dragons corrupted by the Twisting Nether which turned them into weird ethereal dragons made of magic, though they turn sane (feral at worst) at the cost of their lifespan. Mostly there to be used by evil forces but the player characters can befriend some. Led by Neltharaku.
** Twilight dragons are any color infused with nether dragon essence and the energies of the Old Gods. Replacements for the chromatics. Dargonax was the first, Ultraxion was the biggest and strongest, but they work directly for Deathwing. Some of them got infused with even more Void power and became Void dragons, who have tendrils on their heads and radiate Void energy. The most powerful Void Dragon was Vexonia, who wanted to make all dragons serve N'Zoth and was worshipped by a cult as a demigod under N'Zoth.
In a particularly derp moment, it turns out that the Aspects knew little of the Old Gods, and were created based on a vague vision of a single break-out attempt (via Deathwing, who only came to power via the vision). After Deathwing was extinguished, the Aspects became mortal and [[Rage|all dragons became '''somehow''' incapable of reproducing]].

==Geography==
===Azeroth===
Azeroth is the kingdom/subcontinent/continent/planet that the series mostly takes place on. The planet's most apparent feature is the perpetual war where generic humans and their friends fight alien orcs and their friends. The planet's most notable feature is that this perpetual war makes both sides very prepared to temporarily ally and fight threats much worse than each other... before going right back to fighting over land.

Formerly a world with a single ocean and a pangaeic continent, the "perfect" continent exploded during the last phase of the War of the Ancients between the night elves and a demonic army known as the Burning Legion. This caused the middle section to sink leaving only a few islands and a giant magical hurricane-whirlpool while the outer sections became separate continents.

Apparently the determination and plot armor of the planet's residents comes from the dead titan soul of the world manifesting inside of the player characters.

====Eastern Kingdoms====
A generic Medieval fantasy continent in about as much [[Medieval Stasis]] as Warhammer Fantasy was. There is not much that is not a kingdom on this continent. As far as "unclaimed" areas go, there are the orc territories around Blackrock Mountain. They stole Blackrock Spire from the Dark Irons, banishing them to their own basements. The titular kingdoms are:

'''The Human Kingdoms'''
* Stormwind: The first kingdom to be attacked by the orcs and the only human kingdom to remain as a major power after it was rebuilt. It serves as the seat of the Alliance' power and the capital (also called Stormwind) is among the most cosmopolitan and rich cities on the planet. Stormwind city proper serves as the de facto captial of the Alliance and Stormwind in general serving as the main staging ground and backbone of the the Alliance war machine (as of BFA also home to the bulk of the Gilneas and Dark Elf refugees). The Kingdom also houses the infamous Goldshire, the greatest [[Star Wars|den of scum and villany in the Eastern Kingdoms]]
* Lordaeron: The biggest and most religious kingdom. It took center stage in the plot after Stormwind fell, but was eventually corrupted and driven to ruin by Arthas after being turned into a Death Knight in the third game. Now called "The Plaguelands", it's now a barren hellscape dotted with undead strongholds and a miasma-filled atmosphere, with only a few crusader factions still staying inside. Its capital city, also named Lordaeron was taken over by the Forsaken Undead for a long time, but was recently bombed by the Plague by the [[Wat|Forsaken's leader herself in a gambit.]] and is now an actually dead ruin. Given everything thats happened to it the plague bombing was almost a mercy kill.
* Gilneas: The second largest kingdom themed after an industrialized Regency-era England. They walled themselves off from being taxed by a rival sovereign power and the subsequent undead. Then they became werewolves, lost all of their land to different undead and climate change on bathsalts, and became a part of night elves culturally. Lore-wise, they're slowly rebuilding their capital of... Gilneas. See a pattern here?
* Dalaran: A single citystate full of mages. After being invaded by Arthas for a magical tome and subsequently nuked by an Eredar lord named Archimonde in the third game, the remaining citizens walled themselves off from the outside world... Until WoTLK, where they not only restored Dalaran to its shining self, but made it [[Awesome|airborne]]. Currently hovering around the Broken Isles and acting as a hub city for all factions. Neutral to the two factions, though they do take more of a shine to the Alliance.
* Kul Tiras: A naval kingdom loosely based on pre-industrial Britain or Denmark. They had an enormous navy. <s>Its navy was last seen in the WC3,</s> being led by its "Lord Admiral Daelin Proudmoore", where he attempted to wage war again against the newly formed Horde and lost. A sovereign state, but technically not a kingdom due to the Lord Admiral being a noble but not royalty somehow (there are four houses, none of which rule). Featured prominently in BFA; extremely [[Pirate|Cornish]] and very maritime in all things they do.
* Stromgarde: A kingdom made from those who stayed behind to defend the aging capital of the first human kingdom. Things didn't go so well as Stromgarde became ruined and infested with criminal scum, ogres, and trolls. BY WOWBFA it had become a major warzone between the Alliance and Horde both wanting to use it as a staging ground to attack the other. Lore-wise the Alliance was victorious and Stromgarde and its capital was reclaimed and is finally in the process of rebuilding.
* Alterac: The weakest kingdom. A kingdom of rogues that allied with the Horde, only to be crushed by the other human kingdoms. Now a criminal syndicate in Stromgarde's lands with their capital as a frozen, ogre-infested wasteland.

'''The Dwarf Clans'''
* The Bronzebeards: Generic dwarves based in the city of Ironforge. Famous for their smithing and their Mountaineers; [[Ranger|rangers with huge guns]] that patrol the peaks of the Khaz Modan, the Empire of the Dwarves.
** Gnomeregan: Tinker gnomes that do not do much beside trying to regain their lost city. BFFs with the Bronzebeards and technically a protectorate.
* The Wildhammers: Dwarves that ride gryphons. They don't really have a city (having lost Grim Batol). They have the aviary of Aerie Peak and various other peaks and villages, but tend to avoid civilization in favor of the freedom of nature. Has actual Shamans.
* The Dark Irons: Shadowy dwarf sorcerers that live in Shadowforge City under Blackrock Mountain. Played with powers they shouldn't have and summoned Ragnaros, the lord of the Fire Elementals, who created Blackrock Mountain and enslaved them until his defeat. Originally kind of like discount Chaos Dwarfs but somewhat less evil, until Cataclysm, where their then-new Queen made attempts to improve relations with the two other clans. They are now considered to be a part of the Alliance, though they still work hard to show they actually aren't evil anymore. Well, not ''that'' evil...

'''The Troll Empires'''
* Amani Empire: Giant forest trolls with Cuban accents. Originally part of the Horde in the olden days, they've fallen on hard times after the High Elves and human kingdoms drove them off, leaving their cities in ruins. Their leader, Zul'jin, was revealed to be alive and is highly pissed off at the Horde for allying with the Blood Elves before subsequently getting murderized by the Horde in their capital of Zul'aman. Later allied with the Zandalari to take over the world but were once again defeated, this time by the Darkspear Tribe(Jungle Trolls that joined the Horde.)
* Gurubashi Empire: Jungle trolls with Jamaican accents. Had a massive flood followed by a civil war over excessive blood sacrifices to an evil god. Also in ruins. Also joined the Zandalari to take over the world, then some guy tried to eat the aforementioned god but got eaten instead due to the intervention of adventurers.

And the ones that aren't part of the Eastern Kingdoms...

* Drakkari Empire: Trolls native to Northrend. Pretty much everyone was killed and raised by the Scourge, only to regain free will after the Lich King's defeat. Probably the second least relevant troll empire after the Farraki (sand trolls) these days. When it became apparent that they were going to lose the war against Arthas and the Argent Crusade, they [[RIP AND TEAR|killed their gods to take their powers]], which is pretty fucking metal if you think about it.
* Zandalari Empire: The only troll empire to remain remotely intact (and relevant for that matter) in the present day. First introduced when they sought aid in helping the Gurubashi overthrow their evil blood-drinking god. Later, the Cataclysm caused their home-island to start sinking into the sea, so some guy named Zul tried to unite the trolls of the world to take new lands to live on, only to fail. They tried to do the same later when they went to Pandaria and allied with the Mogu, but once again failed. Will ultimately throw their lot in with the Horde in the BFA expansion. Also they have dinosaurs and can functionally be Paladins through worship of the Loa Rezan.

'''Elven Kingdoms'''
* Quel'thalas: The main stronghold of the High Elves. It housed the primary capital city of the elves named "Silvermoon" and also the Sunwell; the High Elves primary source of magic. In the third game, Arthas curbstomped Silvermoon and corrupted the Sunwell to resurrect a Lich named "Kel'Thuzad", leaving the majority of the High Elves dead and the rest went into hiding. By the first expansion, Silvermoon was partially rebuilt by the survivors, who renamed themselves Blood Elves, and are currently using it as their main capital city again. Its still, however, a shadow of its former glory. The majority of Quel'thalas is still infested by blight, undead remnants of the previous invasion, and grumpy Amani trolls. Allied with the Horde for pragmatic reasons in Burning Crusade, but has since come to consider the Horde as true allies.

====Kalimdor====
A less civilized continent (how are Night Elves less civilized? They shit in the woods that's why!), preserving elements from the old super-continent. It has the forests of the night elves to the north, the orc-conquered Barrens in the center, and largely unclaimed deserts to the south. The orcs, living in a sucky climate and loving conquest, are constantly trying to take lumber and land from the night elves. Major groups:

* Orgrimmar - Capital of the Nation of Durotar, as well as the Horde. A clanless group of united orcs made of mostly Blackrock, Warsong, and Frostwolf. Has a running talent of being besieged multiple times but always seems to avoid destruction thanks to truces and plot-armour.
* Thunder Bluff - Capital of Mulgore. All the tauren tribes live here except the evil Grimtotem clan.
* Darkspear Tribe - Banished by the other jungle troll tribes to an island, they are trolls who are also Jamaican and allied with the Horde, currently residing in Kalimdor after Thrall led his clan's mass exodus to the west. <s>They're led by a Shadow Hunter named Vol'Jin.</s> More or less lack a leader following the death of Vol'jin because Blizzard doesn't think they're important enough to have a representative.
* Ashenvale - A large forest on the north of the continent and homeland of the Night Elves. They had a vicious foreign policy, which was relaxed during the Third War, except when hostilities reignited with the Horde. This culminated in the War of Thorns where the Night Elves were ousted by the Horde, but then regrouped to take back their ancestral lands.
* Teldrassil - The main home of the Night Elves. Its capital is named "Darnassus" and is where the seat of Night Elf power is located in. Burnt down by Sylvanas using Azerite-infused siege weapons in the latest expansion. Teldrassil and its surrounding areas remained a burned out ruin until the Night Elves retook it for the most part in BFA war of thorns. As of the ending of the fourth war the Night Elves are anxious to begin rebuilding Teldrassil.
* Exodar - A crashed spaceship where the draenei live.
* Theramore - A newer city-state made up of survivors of Lordaeron led by Jaina Proudmoore. Was the (rather small in the game) capital of the Alliance, but eventually ceded more and more authority to Stormwind until Garrosh nuked it.

====Northrend====
Basically the South Pole of Azeroth, except in the North (there is actual land in Northrend like Antarctica unlike the Artic). Way before Lich King's domination, it was the battlefield of Aegwynn, the guardian of Azeroth and Sargeras, the leader of the burning legion. The battle ended with Sargeras defeated but somehow cursed her by possessing her infant son Medivh before he was even conceived.

It used to be populated by the Nerubians, a race of intelligent arachnids who evolved from Aqir that had survived the continent cracking event known as Sundering, that had split Kalimdor from Northrend. [[Q'Orl| Nerubians like their Aqir ancestors are a cruel, xenophobic and hyper-isolationist species with a hard on for culture and engineering, as well as architecture and magic so juicy the Lich King killed them for it]]. Basically Arachnid Nazi Eskimo Egyptian, though there are like 12 still alive and they are willing to pay people to help them get revenge.

Nerubians used to have an extensive amount of [[fluff]] covered in the Warcraft RPG series before Blizzard [[Exterminatus|nuked]] the project and subsequently any development from it (like finding 'worship' to be confusing and suicidal, a plot point that later made sense when players met their god). They made a comeback in Legion, as refugees this time on an island only to be killed by the player, and there is no explanation for this provided, not even when we [[That guy|bring the corpse]] of their leader to the few living Nerubians.

Northrend was also a good place for dragons to die which many dragons will fly to the Dragonblight at Northrend when they are near their life's end.

The Lich King (Ner'zhul) landed here when he was thrown to Azeroth by Kil'jaeden as a [[exterminatus|WMD]] to further the demon's plan. He fought the Nerubians and were won through attrition warfare with a little help from dreadlords. Many Nerubians were mostly killed by the Lich King and made into spider mummies with their king Anub'arak turned into his slave. The Lich King, who was working for the Burning Legion at the time, spread his undead plague southward into human lands. By doing so, he infected and mind controlled some humans into his ranks creating his very own undead army: the Scourge. The Scourge's purpose is to follow the Lich King's will, kill all humans, and find a way to bring the Burning Legion in full force to Azeroth. During the conflict with humans, Prince Arthas came to Northrend to hunt down Mal'Ganis (the Lich King's demon overseer) and decided to take this totally-evil-sword Frostmourne because it gives him the strength to kill Mal'Ganis. Obviously, it turned Arthas so evil that he killed his own father, finished off his kingdom, and brought doom to the high elves.

Illidan had tried to destroy Northrend with The Eye of Sargeras with his fish people (Naga), but he was interrupted by his brother and his bitch of a warden. It did however weaken the Lich King due to the earthquakes Illidan had caused, forcing Arthas to come to Northrend and abandon Lordaeron to the Forsaken. When Arthas came to Northrend to save the Lich King, Illidan and his friends were there to stop him and they had an epic fight. Illidan lost like a bitch and Arthas became one with the Lich King. Also, an Old God called Yogg-Saron lives below Northrend in a massive titan facility built around main body.

====Pandaria====
Land of pandas and Chinese things. Once a region dominated by a titan-created race of lion statue-men called the mogu, the pandaren broke free with booze, martial arts, and friendship. The "death" of the Old God Y'Shaarj left the land cursed by emotion-creatures called the sha. After giving form to and kicking the asses of (with harmony, not ass-kicking) the sha, the last emperor of Pandaria used the magic mists of pride to isolate the region from the exploding super-continent, forming the island-continent as it is.

====Islands====
* Zandalar - True homeland of the trolls. Home of the last intact troll empire and cities of gold... until Deathwing sank it. Now it has sent out a golden fleet to screw over other troll tribes for resources (under the guise of helping them) and begging the remaining mogu for a home. Retconned into a continent.
* Broken Isles - The ancient night elf city of Suramar was used to house the remains of the Avatar of Sargeras when he was killed as part of a convoluted gambit to infiltrate the planet (his soul possessed the unborn child of the one who was supposed to be keeping demons away and who defeated said Avatar, then used that child to summon the orcs). The island was later raised by orc warlocks seeking power from the body. Retconned into a continent.
* Kezan - The industrialized home of the goblins. It was where Pandaria is, but that was changed. Had the trade-capital of Undermine. Destroyed when Deathwing set off its volcano.
* Plunder Isle - Has pirates.
* Tel'Abim - Has bananas. Some letters in bottles findable by fishing will explain that the Tel'Abim Bananas are actually alive and malevolent, although the shipwrecked author could have just been going insane.
* Tol Barad - A tiny, fallen kingdom turned into maximum-security prison that keeps changing hands. The ledger must look like used bogroll a this point

===Draenor===
The other planet visited in the setting. Savage homeworld of the orcs, the ogres, and (adopted by) the draenei. The orcs were recruited here by the Burning Legion to kill the draenei (rebel aliens and their descendants who rejected demonhood), and then were redirected for round two of trying to kill Azeroth. Too many escape portals opened after the orcs' defeat by the humans caused the planet to explode, leaving habitable chunks in the Twisting Nether called Outland. Much of its ecosystem was killed by Orc warlocks playing with dark magic.

====Orc Clans====
Rivaling the human kingdoms were the orc clans. Currently, most are defunct. They were savage and semi-peaceful hunter-gatherers on their home world before Warlocks gave them new magic, some technology and the unity of genocidal goals.
* Blackrock clan - Basic militant orcs, led by Blackhand the Destroyer. Later led by his ambiguously noble second-in-command Ogrim Doomhammer. Most were folded into the new Horde, but those who retained the name eventually merged with the Black Tooth Grin and maintained the Blackrock name.
* Stormreaver clan - Main Warlock clan, led by Gul'dan.
* Twilight's Hammer clan - Doomsday cult seeking any means they can destroy the world. After the war they broke off from the warlocks and became Old God worshipers. Led by the ogre Cho'Gall, formerly Gul'dan's right hand man.
* The Shadow Council - Gul'Dans hand picked secret society of Warlocks and dark magicians. Pulled the strings behind the scenes that eventually lead up to the invasion of Azeroth by the Orcs. Their Azeroth branch was murderfucked out of existence when Doomhammer learned of the Council's machinations and their sway over the Horde, and their Draenor branch was also almost driven to extinction due to the Alliance forces that crossed the Dark Portal fighting them, Illidan and his followers occupying most of their original strongholds (like the Black Temple) and they themselves accidentally summoning a gargantuan exdimensional being that they couldn't control. Small of pockets of them still remain on both Azeroth and Outland, but they are far from being a unified or even significant force anymore.
* Black Tooth Grin clan - Blackhand's kids got their own clan due to Doomhammer killing him and seizing control of the Blackrock clan. Punching out a tooth is the rite of passage to give yourself their signature grin. Absorbed back into the Blackrocks at some point after Doomhammer's defeat, which would in turn become the "Dark Horde" under Nefarian.
* Bleeding Hollow clan - Rips out an eye to view their deaths. Lead by Kilrogg Deadeye.
* Dragonmaw clan - [[Dragoon|Dragon Riders]]. Maintained one of the last Orc hold-out strongholds after the original Horde's defeat until some scheming by Deathwing, and things going [[Not As Planned]] released the dragons. Some hold-outs later joined the modern Horde.
* Burning Blade clan - [[Eversor|Psychotic Berserkers]] with a Samurai theme ([[Awesome|even using Sashimono!]]). Eventually nearly wiped out, but the survivors became badass mercenaries. Later refounded by Demon-worshipers from the Shadow Council who tried to subvert the modern Horde from within before they too were wiped out.
* Shadowmoon clan - Shamans who were corrupted into becoming Warlocks, [[Retcon|but later said to be Shadow Priests]]. Led by Ner'zhul.
* Frostwolf clan - "Good" wolfrider orcs. Makes up the majority of the modern Horde along with the Warsong and Blackrock clans. Thrall is from this clan.
* Warsong clan - Crazy wolfriders and warmongers with the most overt Mongolian theme. Led by Grom Hellscream.
* Shattered Hand clan - Former gladiator-slaves. Replaces a hand with a blade. Formerly led by Kargath Bladefist. Later became a multi-racial spymaster clan of Rogues and the like in the new Horde.
* Thunderlord clan - Hunts giants. Tames giant things.
* Laughing Skull clan - Pyromaniacs. Previously led by an ogre and sided with humans.
* Bonechewer clan - Savage Cannibals.
* Flowerpicker clan - A gag name for the unused blue team color for the Horde in the campaign of Warcraft II. Made possibly canon as Orc ninjas in Warlords Of Draenor.

====Alternate Draenor====
In the past of an alternate universe, orcs were given a simple coal engine, hydraulics and a warning about the price of deals with the Burning Legion, so they never made any deals with any demons. These orcs try to invade modern Azeroth anyway while simultaneously trying to conquer their own planet. After the orcs' defeat, they go back to the demons. When the demons are defeated, the planet is freed and the remaining orcs are friendly to all parties and the Draenei don't ask for reparations regarding the Iron Horde <s>[[Derp|(for reasons)]]</s> because Blizzard messed up the expansion and decided to end it prematurely to move on to Legion, leaving behind things such as an entire continent supposed to house the Ogre empire, and the island of Farahlon which was originally supposed to be where the Primals hang out.

It's visited again but somehow 30 years in the future (Except it's just catching up to the present for reasons) despite nobody ever wanting to touch it again (except avid Orc roleplayers because holy shit is Draenor gorgeous). The resident Draenei, led by Yrel and some naaru, form a Light army and waged war on the Orcs who refused to join, getting dubbed "Lightbound" by the Orcs (protip, you're expected to pretend the Iron Horde never happened and the Draenei are just Light fanatic villains now). AU Draenor is dying for unknown reasons, with both Mag'har and Lightbound blaming the other "he said, she said" style, and the surviving Ogres either joined the Lightbound or are stuck in Mag'har-led prison camps.

Durotan died offscreen but produced a rule 63 Thrall called Geya'rah. AU Grom is both still alive and unpunished for his Iron Horde war crimes, but managed to have a son that joins the Lightbound for unspecified reasons (popular theories range from shame over the Iron Horde to wanting a piece of sweet Draenei booty). All of this for the two reasons of adding the Mag'har allied race - since the Mag'har from Outland already joined the Horde - and [[Edgy|trying to give the Light a bad side]].

Following the recruitment of the AU Mag'har, Draenor seems to be shut off until Blizz brings back Yrel and her group as future villains, much to the chagrin of Orc roleplayers (who love the place and just want to hang out there) and Draenei or pro-Light roleplayers (who hate the villain-batting of their groups).

The "savage" geography of this Draenor is shaped by three warring factions of giants: the desert-loving Breakers (made of rocks and lava), the jungle-loving Primals (made of plants), and a third faction that showed up called the Zangar (aquatic fungus that used to be Primals). The Primals seem to be wiped out by the Orcs come Battle for Azeroth.

==Factions and races==
In WoW, you have the option of siding with either the Alliance or Horde. The different factions have different races available to them. Everything else is 'other'.

===Alliance===
[[File:Elfbutt Gnome.JPG|thumb|right|300px|The main draw.]]
The Alliance are portrayed as the "more-civilized-than-thou" faction in the game. While they have a lot of the same bigotry as the Horde, Horde bigotry leads to threats and murder while in the Alliance its segregation and insults. Despite this the Alliance remains the more united faction, and the general theme is races trying to reclaim what was lost (always at the hands of the races of the Horde, leading to the question of forgiveness or justice as the way to move forward).

====Humans====
Your bog-standard humans. As far as it's known, humanity worships a vaguely defined entity comprised of collective will called the Holy Light (which may or may not be an actual sentient being). Pre-WoW continuity was basically Catholic, later continuity made their faith extremely vague with suggestions that they had a polytheistic background that became godless. Humans originally came from 7 kingdoms, although by the time of WoW all but two (one of which is comprised of Elves and Gnomes as well) have been destroyed with very few survivors. Humans are descended from robots created by the Titans, which later became fleshy viking Giants who started giving birth to tiny and softer-skinned children that were the ancestors of mankind. Apparently, many humans share a sever case of inward directed victim blaming. Thanks, Chris. Other species like to complain about humans not doing enough for them, humans like to be a hero wherever possible, and they're kinda like sand in an Anakin Skywalker way. Given this, you won't be surprised to learn the humans created the first paladins in Azeroth.
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Image:Warcraft Human 1.jpg
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====Dwarves====
They're [[Dwarf|Dwarves]]. They like shooting with guns and hitting stuff with hammers. They've also perfected steam technology, bringing tanks onto the battlefield for the Alliance. Dwarves come in three subraces; Bronzebeard Dwarves, Dark Iron Dwarves, and Wildhammer Dwarves. This mattered a great deal early on in Warcraft, but after a series of events all three have finally united into one race again. Originally a race of robots designed to keep the world being shaped into the designs decided on by the Titans, they gradually turned fleshy until going dormant and waking up not knowing who or what they were while in an underground cavern. The city they turned the cavern into became their holiest site, Ironforge.

They are ruled by three major clans:
* '''Bronzebeards:''' The primary playable and standard Warcraft Dwarves that neatly fit the standard Dwarf archtypes, save for their love of technology (especially ''guns'') and archaeology. As the name suggests, they have a tendency towards brownish-gingerlike beards although all beard colors are found in the commonfolk of the Bronzebeards. They used to own Ironforge and ruled it alone until Cataclysm, when King Magni accidently turned himself into a giant living diamond and in the power vacuum the Dwarf Council was formed with the two other clans, uniting the Dwarf race for the first time in most of recorded history. These guys are the clan that actually has alliances with the rest of the Alliance; the two others are mostly just in it with them. Their current leader is Muradin Bronzebeard, Magni’s brother.
* '''Wildhammers:''' Aesthetically knock-offs of [[Slayers]] from [[Warhammer Fantasy]] although it can be argued that Wildhammers have even more development than their inspiration, they are barbarian dwarves that fly griffons into battle, wield Stormhammers (a WARCRAFT DORF version of Mjolnir), and they also get cool blue tattoos. They are so Scottish their accent actually is fitting, and their homes resemble Hobbit Holes. Their skin tends to be ruddier and they have a fair amount more red hair than the other Dwarves. They live in a mountain carved like an eagle, and are not fond of staying inside mountains, weirdly. The Dorfs got Shamans when they reconnected with the Wildhammers, who have a more natural affinity for the world around them. Their main emissary is Falstad Wildhammer - they might not actually have leaders per se.
* '''Dark-Irons:''' Once the token EVIL dorfs, they used to scurry inside Blackrock Mountain and were controlled by [[Archomental|Ragnaros the Fire Lord]]. These days many of them are reformed and are part of the Alliance with the rest of the dorfs, and during the Draenor expansion they show that they are pretty cool people (even pranking Yrel). They like magic and even teach new dwarves how to be Warlock and a Mage (or at least used to, until the players learned to do that by themselves). They have [[Salamanders|charcoal-black skin and burning red eyes]], giving them a sort of demonic look. Their leader is Moria Thaurissan, once a Bronzebeard princess who was thought to have been kidnapped by the king of the evil Dark Irons Dagran Thaurissan. Turned out she actually went of her own will and was legit in love with him... Kinda sucked that we killed him, then. Moira is technically regent, ruling until her infant son can take the combined Bronzebeard/Dark Iron throne. When evil they tended to be dirty slavers lead by a refined aristocracy and insane cultists, the ones who have sided with the Council tend more towards aristocrats and tradesmen.

There are also many varieties of Iron Dwarves, the pre-flesh robot form of Dwarves scattered throughout the world. Some have personalities and cultures, others are mere robot slaves to their programming.
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====Night Elves====
Purple-skinned [[Elf|elves]]. Their ancestors were [[Troll]]s, who discovered a massive source of magic - the Well of Eternity - and lived near it so long that it turned them into the first Elves. The nobility became hedonistic assholes who suckled the arcane magic, while the peasant classes tapped into the magic of nature and the priesthood that worships the moon goddess Elune discovered Light magic. Their [[Morathi|queen, Azshara, became drunk on power and hubris]] and hatched a plan to tap the Well of Eternity for enough mojo to wipe out the other races. Drawing all that power drew the attention of the Burning Legion, who started sweet talking Azshara into letting them in to do the job for her. Azshara accepted, and she would become infatuated with the Legion leadership, deluding herself that she was betrothed to Sargeras.

The rest of the Night Elves, who were still sane and also seeing that they weren't on demons' "do not kill" list, united with the other races and started a civil war, which would later be known as the War of the Ancients. The leaders of the sane side were: a young elf named Malfurion Stormrage, a student of the demigod Cenarius and the first Druid; Tyrande Whisperwind, the high priestess of Elune, and Malfurion's lover; and Illidan Stormrage, Malfurion's brother and a magic-addicted douchebag mage. Despite fighting for years against endless hordes of daemons, the Azerothian races realized they would need to invade the old Night Elf capital and destroy the Well of Eternity to beat back the daemons permanently. In this time, Illidan would defect to the nobility's side; originally it was due to his magic addiction/obsession and envy of his brother, then [[retcon|he was trying to bring down the Legion from the inside as a double-agent without telling anyone, then the latest retcon merged the two; he went to join the Legion for real out of envy and addiction but had a last-minute change of heart and worked to bring them down]]. In every version Illidan also wanted to close to the Well of Eternity to bottle some of its waters to keep for himself. Eventually the Azerothian side reached the well, and a climactic fight between Malfurion and Azshara ended with the spellworks summoning in the demons to implode and cause a chain reaction which was going to destroy the Well. The Azerothian forces fled for as long and as hard as they could before the Well exploded, ripping the world into four continents and leaving a gaping hole in the planet in the middle.

As for the nobility, during this time they'd been slowly whittled down by the war, but were relatively untouched enough that they evenly divided into three general groups. The first group had realized that Azshara was well and truly fucking everybody with her vanity and hubris, and defected to the other side; after the war, their views on aristocracy and the commons - plus their addiction to arcane magic - would force them to split with the surviving elves again, and they sailed East and would become the ancestors of the High Elves. The second group would be founded by Xavius, Azshara's chief mage who was killed and resurrected by the Legion as a demonic Satyr, and he would seduce Azshara's other minions into Legion service exclusively and corrupt them into other Satyrs. The third group was lead by Azshara, who survived her duel with Malfurion, but refused to abandon her palace as it survived the Well collapsing and started to fall into the new ocean. Azshara got a bit of divine help again, but from an old god who refused to see her potential go to waste, so kept her and her followers alive as the Naga.

After the war, the Azerothian side split into separate peoples again, and the Night Elves opposing the Legion would form their own society in the forests of Kalimdor. Illidan - who survived and managed to get back into his brother's good will but not off the shit list - took three of the vials from the Well of Eternity and dumped them into a lake to try to remake the Well. While having the Well in the first place is what drew the demons, Illidan said they would need arcane magic again should the demons come back (and while he did kind of have a point, everybody could see that the bigger factor in his decisionmaking was that he was a junkie trying to get his fix, which was even clearer when he killed some of the people who tried to stop him). For being an idiot, a murderer and a traitor, they put Illidan in jail for an Eternal Sentence. Not letting a good catastrophe go to waste, the Night Elves and the dragons planted a tree over the new well as a means of protection, making them immortal again so long as the tree stood. In the new society, the male Night Elves became druids who would go into hibernation to protect the spiritual side of the world called the Emerald Dream (more accurately, they did this when needed and most recently was hundreds of years ago, not millennia), while female Night Elves became rangers and clerics who stayed behind to guard the world (meaning staying in their forest doing nothing and then attacking humanity for trying to save the world purely because they believed only Night Elves can do that among other nonsensical reasons). Because this state of affairs wasn't friendly to MMO character creation, it was eventually retconned that gender roles weren't so strict or segregated, and only all the male Druids went to hibernate, while everybody else stayed awake to watch over their ass.

The first time they appeared in WarCraft III, they were a more hardcore version of Amazon/Celtic [[Wood Elves]], to the point that Grom Hellscream was delighted in fighting them due to their savagery and determination (and got something of a WhyBoner watching them kill his men). Yes. [[AWESOME|The Night Elves used to be hardcore, savage, moon-worshipping, druidic elves with bitchin leather, cool weapons, sweet powers, and would royally obliterate your ass with nature's wrath if you so much as sneezed at a tree in their home that is Ashenvale Forest]].

As of Battle for Azeroth's War of Thorns, the Night Elves' tree house burned down by the superweapons of an undead edgelord and humanity welcomed them into their homes. Then many elves went to retake their lands and Darkshore along with their Gilnean allies while complaining about Stormwind doing nothing to help them (rather purposely ignoring the fact that they were well busy fighting the Horde on other battlefronts). They still manage to have a presence in other battlefields, though.

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====Gnomes====
[[Gnome]]s are basically shorter, more agile dwarves, with voices as if helium was their only source of air. They're Alliance's resident Tech-heads, being paired with their more drunken brethren responsible for the faction's overall technological progress, often tending towards weird Science-esque inventions like shrink rays, death rays, mind control helmets, [[what|robot ostrich mounts]], and [[awesome|spider tanks]] [[fail|which you never get to use]], as opposed to more practical steampunkish shit their dwarf relatives pack. Blizzard is notorious for sweeping Gnomes under the rug, leaving them with next to no lore or culture besides standing in the shadow of other Alliances races, metaphorically and literally.

While they get to appear quite often, its almost always just for a tech-related fetch quest and little else. [[Derp|That might, JUST MIGHT be due to all the tanks, walkers, attack choppers armed with actual machine guns and missile launchers, bombers and a freaking power armour that these guys make in no small quantities, which the Alliance NEVER use against the Horde (or anyone else, for that matter, other than making VERY occasional short cameos in some quests and cinematics), FOR SOME REASON.]] Because magic beats technology - tanks, machine guns and power armor aren't effective against beings who can summon volcanoes (shaman), tsunamis (mage), or meteor showers (mages and warlocks) at will. Well that is until the plot needs technology to beat magic and then a laser or supertank tears through everything in its path or some device basically just materializes whatever's needed just like magic.

Anyway... in yon olde days of classic WoW, gnomes were the power-gamer PvP choice. They had a racial root breaker, and they were short enough that they could literally hide in the underbrush in Stranglethorn Vale like short, cute Vietcong before hitting you with a PoM-Pyroblast and making half your health disappear in a second.
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====Draenei====
[[Draenei]] are squid-faced, holier-than-thou hippie space goats who worship angel-equivalent aliens made of pure light called Naaru. Technically called Eredar, two thirds of their race joined the Legion as Manari (corrupt) Eredar and became the leadership of the Legion after Sargeras' "death", the Draenei (exile) Eredar have been fleeing from the Legion and trying to combat the forces of evil in between ever since. Have been slaughtered by just about everyone they've met in their history. The exception was the Alliance who welcomed them at the behest of the Night Elves, making them extremely eager and friendly members, though they had to clear up a case of mistaken identity since many Eredar serve the Burning Legion. Speak in vaguely Russian accents. Technically the most scientifically advanced race who can produce electricity, holograms, instant communication, teleportation, and even what can generously be called computers using their crystal magic technology (all of said technology is actually magic and so doesn't remotely count as scientific advancement), although they've lost so much over the many holocausts they've suffered that little of it remains. You'd think this would give them plots with the Gnomes, but Draenei are the single most forgotten race in Warcraft to the point that a story involving a meeting of all the racial leaders of the Alliance left out the Draenei completely, which Metzen later had a good laugh about and added references to it later.

Confused? Okay. The reality is that the Draenei are a fantasy adaptation of the Protoss aesthetic from Blizzard's other franchise ''Starcraft''. They'd had Eredar and Broken as far back as ''Beyond the Dark Portal'', but they'd never fleshed out a visual style for their stuff. All their technology, buildings, weird crystal shit, etc, is pretty much just Protoss in a "I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens" kind of way.

One should note that [[neckbeards]] get [[Slaanesh|ROCK HARD]] over [[Monstergirl|Draenei]] [[-4_Str|women]], and would give up all of their [[dice]] and their favorite [[40k]] army to fuck one. Often said to possess [[Dickgirl|massive horse cocks]], but these rumours tend to originate from [[/d/]] (in particular the MASSIVE amount of futanari porn that has been produced for them, which was probably inspired by the fact that they have hooves instead of human-like feet).
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====Worgen====
Cockney [[werewolf|werewolves]]. While the image of Michael Caine transforming into a dire wolf sounds awesome, it's more along the lines of Dick Van Dyke's chim-en-ney sweep with some fur glued on. Formerly humans of Gilneas, their kingdom was ravaged by a bunch of werewolves, then conquered and occupied by the Forsaken of the Horde being warmongering assholes, causing them to join up with the Alliance, after the successful reclamation of the capital city of their nation resulted in Sylvanas killing the king's son and shit-bombing the entire kingdom with so much of her New Plague that it has made the place uninhabitable even by Forsaken standards. Taught to connect to Druidism by Night Elves to control their werewolf side, they've reclaimed their monocle+top hat and blunderbuss+hound ways and even enlisted feral Worgen into their faction as well as some remaining human populace of Silverpine and Hillsbrad - apparently being a Big Bad Wolf with little to none shortcoming, strong enough to rip orks to pieces and beat his tauren friend to death with the meaty chunks, and nigh immune to the Plague of Undeath is quite an enticing idea when you live in a country infested with undead who'd like nothing more than to test some of their new and exiting stamms of chlamydios shit on you only to raise you from the dead for their army when you finally die. Currently, full speed ahead on becoming furry Night Elves themselves, at least culturally, embracing druidism and often abandoning the Church of Light altogether in favour of mixed Elune and Goldrinn worship.

Their king, Genn Greymane (named thus back in the days of Warcraft II, when worgen did not yet even existed, ironically), formerly one of the loudest decriers of the Alliance of Lordaeron, has become one of the most stalwart supporters of the Alliance of Stormwind (basically during the course of a short story and some of the books) and, due to the aforementioned events, is not at all fond of the Forsaken and especially the Banshee Queen (to be fair, Sylvanas did kill his son and mock him about it). Since then Genn strived to ensure Sylvanas' timely arrival on a date with Arthas in that special place in hell/the Maw, ever more vehemently with Varian's death and the Burning of Teldrassil, quickly earning the admiration and ire of the respective fanbases (sorta, even Horde players fantasize about brutally torturing Sylvanas to death for being a total fucking monster).

[[/d/|'''The''' most popular characters of shorstories involving any sort of befriendment of female elves (even surpassing the previous holder of that title that were the orcs).]]

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===The Horde===
[[File:Warcraft Horde.jpg|right|thumb|300px]]
Despite what some people believe, according to devs there is (dubiously in the case of many Forsaken plotlines) no evil playable faction. [[DERP|Which is why half the Horde chiefs went mad with power and go full genocide while the Alliance has at best been harsh]]. The Horde is in some ways as good or bad as the [[Grimdark|sometimes racist and oppressive Alliance]], although the Horde tends to have the most bad seeds in their faction due to poor writing and character handling. The general theme of the Horde is races that have lost a great deal, usually to those within their faction who have also fucked the Alliance, causing them to stop and re-evaluate themselves while building an entirely new path forwards while dealing with the partially justified and partially overzealous vengeance of the blue faction.

====Orcs====
The [[orc]]s of Warcraft are shamanistic warriors who live in the city of Orgrimmar and greater savanna region of Durotar and who, unlike [[Warhammer Fantasy|Warhammer]] or [[Warhammer 40000|40k]] [[Orcs & Goblins|Orcs]]/[[Ork|Orks]], are not entirely made ta fight an’ win, with the added benefit of primary (and not-so-bad-either secondary) sex characteristics, which means they have to reproduce by methods other than scratching their asses. Basically all that "Storm, Earth, and Fire" shit combined with "Victory or Death" mentality. They tend live in edgy and spiky all over black metal buildings with red lighting. The backstory for their place in the world is that their planet was like Vietnam hatefucked death metal album art, then some douchebags in their race sold them out to Demons and tricked them into wiping out every race they encountered before leaving the next generation to pick up the pieces and deal with those among them that have decided being a dumb asshole is a cultural value. Brown-skinned Orcs are natural untainted Orcs, Orcs with grey skin are a subrace of brown Orcs and tend to be highly aggressive (an alternate universe where formerly brown Orcs have grey skin instead of the green they got in the main timeline suggests this isn't a natural occurrence), Orcs with green skin have been exposed to a large amount of Demon magic, Orcs with red eyes and green skin are currently empowered by Demon magic, Orcs with red skin have consumed Demons and are becoming Demonic themselves.

Ever since their first attempts to make friends have been misunderstood for an attempted genocide by the Alliance races, have been chased down by said Alliance races to be properly forgiven for that. Still trying to vehemently befriend everyone around them, but get promptly forgiven time and time again, so it's cool.

Most of their history was retconned in the shitfests known as ''Mists of Pandaria'' and ''Warlords of Draenor'' to make them more [[Grimdark|evil]], then zig-zag on this depending on which part of the fanbase whines the loudest. In a manner of speaking. Them being genocidal monsters has always been canon. The only point of contention is them ''choosing'' to continue being mass-murdering monsters. But Horde players who actually ''[[Heresy|read the quest text]]'' as they level throughout the game will notice that the Horde quests get more and more vile and less and less justifiable until by the end the Horde quests are often just evil just because they think its funny. Some players might see this as a new Horde adventurer gradually having his eyes opened that although he is a noble savage who believes in the Horde's redemption, '''[[Grimdark|the Horde might not]] ''[[Grimdark|want]]'' [[Grimdark|redemption]]'''.

[[/d/|'''The''' most popular characters of shorstories involving any sort of befriendment of female night elves (<s>projection much? eww. just eww. you sick Horde! you fucking sick.</s> <span style='color:purple;font-size:100%'>PROCEED...</span>). Scratch that, Tauren and worgen are more popular for that nowadays]]
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====Tauren====
Fairly peaceful [[Minotaur]]s that were in a losing war for existence with Centaurs until the Orcs took them on as a welfare case, helping them establish their own land as Mulgore and their capital city of Thunder Bluff which sits on top of massive plateau connected by rope bridges and elevators. Basically HUEG beastly, American-Indian bulls and cows who walk on two legs. Unfortunately, have an ''extremely'' passive outlook in the Horde, which has grown even more so ever since the cool old guy Cairn Bloodhoof kicked it after loosing the election to national-socialist candidate and being poised by some douche named Magatha. His son [[Fail|only exiled her]] allowing and has since been a worthless self hating leader in between exiling his people for attacking military targets, breaking his oaths to the Horde and declaring tauren towns devoid of military forces worthy targets for firebombing by the Alliance. Its widely considered tauren lore died with Cairne. A good way to describe Tauren is they were initially just there to serve as fucking MASSIVE sidekicks to Orcs, inviting all sorts of Forsaken out of the goodness of their hearts into the fold (even though even the super racist Alliance military leader in Warcraft III joined forces with the Forsaken and the monster murdered him and his men once they took Capital City and went to the Horde because they feared the Alliance wouldn't accept them...because they murdered an Alliance army that ''had'' given them the benefit of the doubt. [[Horus Heresy|Surely this could never possibly go wrong for the Horde]].) and not much else, then afterwards functioning only as pawns for Baine's pining for humanity. Not helped by the fact other lore suggested the Tauren originally wanted help from the Alliance but was busy not being murdered by the Horde and so had to settle for accepting the Horde's help with the Centaurs ([[Derp|instead of joining the Alliance in exchange for protection from said centaurs just like they did with the Horde who was also in the same war the Alliance was]]).

The Tauren used to be different. Back in WarCraft III they were the "good is not soft" type. Sure, they were peaceful already back then, but if you threatened their home and their allies then you'd be pulverized so hard with their fancy totems that not even bone chunks would be left after you.

====Forsaken Undead====
Mostly the humans of the kingdom of Lordaeron and the Elves of Silvermoon, plus others that fell to the Undead Scourge Plague since then, which were originally mostly just mindless zombies or ghosts. After Illidan began a spell to weaken and destroy the Frozen Throne and trapped spirit of Ner'zhul while Arthas rushed to save him (before they merged into one being), Sylvanas and the undead Elves regained their free will and used it to start a rebellion, eventually freeing many Undead and returning their souls to them resulting in them going from mindless zombies back to ordinary undead people.

Among the gray area morality of the races in the game (the humans for enslaving the omnicidal monsters that tried to exterminate them, the gnomes for being short, the Night Elves for being psychopaths, the High Elves for being sociopaths, the dwarves for not being dwarfs, the orks for being mass murdering monsters unwillingly and later eagerly, the tauren for being couch-potatos, the trolls for being tall), Forsaken come furthest on the 'evil' end of the spectrum (due to being more evil than the ''[[Dark Eldar]]'') as either through damage to brain/soul, the traumatic unlife they've had or the fact that they were evil people in life, many have become psychopathic sadists. They would be counted still on the grey spectrum were it not for an utterly [[Skub]]tastic minor faction called the Royal Apothecary Society, basically a bunch of completely monstrous [[Fabius Bile]]s of Warcraft.

Said society has a fully funded mad scientist corps devoted to creating a 'perfect plague' as well as perfecting and exercising already existing ones; among its other duties, performs numerous, horrific experiments (Mengele spectrum) on enslaved POW's (this includes a mind-broken (''"A little torture, a pinch of magic, and an ample helping of invasive surgery. She was conscious, of course."'') human slave named Theresa that wanders the city doing the errands of a minor mad (fucked-up is a better description) scientist, just to show off his "talents"), dissecting living Alliance prisoners, turning them into monsters, and trying to perfect a particular plague formula that will render their enemies into undead like themselves with no side effects (although this last one was considered by some Forsaken to be a means of "reproduction" of sorts to keep up their fight against the Lich King, while it lasted).

Even at the early game content, said society had quests like "shackle the human farmers and drag them to Hillsbrad Fungus Plantation" where they'll be worked to death and made torture subjects for plagues, which the players gladly took to drag refugees to their certain doom in chains. (See Sylvanas' character story below)

As a result of these atrocities, the Forsaken are on the back foot, being at war with just about everything (including a militant priestly organization that represented the last living Lordaeron humans left in their homeland called the Scarlet Crusade) that wasn't the Horde and smack dab in the middle of all invasion routes back then, which was often used as justification for your daily dose of nightmare fuel both in and out of universe. Undercity has basically a population of slaves being experimented upon, tortured and killed slowly for years with no attention from any Horde leader, each arguing about hating the alliance and extolling "honor" while ignoring an ongoing atrocity Thrall would be horrified of.

The aforementioned mad scientist organization turned against Sylvanas (allegedly) and into the ranks of the Burning Legion (she kept a demon around as an advisor who unsurprisingly was waiting for the chance to turn on her) in a short one-battle civil war that destroyed any hope for peace between factions left at the time as Varian Wrynn, by sheer coincidence - the King of Stormwind, saw their fucked up experiments done under his childhood home away from home, and were put onto probation as a race by the rest of the Horde up until a change of Warchief (and the following untimely demise of all Kor'kron overseers, presumably - due to the fatal overdose of the Audrey's Thrice-Spiced Crunchy Stew) unwittingly resulted in a green flag to do whatever the fuck they wanted. With the Lich King dead and the Scarlet Crusade mostly wiped out, the Forsaken were left free to explore their new and wonderful nature as undead, sliding ever further into the 'evil' side of the spectrum as they plotted against the rest of the whole world of living and waged open war on neutral factions, and generally kept their sick experiments on enslaved POW's.

Their initial (dubious) claims that as the last humans of Lordaeron they rightfully inherit the kingdom and that the humans down south had no right to conquer and purge them suddenly became "let's claim the entire northern continent, supposedly minus the Blood Elf parts (definitely plus surviving High Elf lodges on the southern borders of aforementioned parts, regardless of their affiliation (or lack thereof) with the Alliance), and just fuck up humans in ways many and hilarious wherever they are to be found."

That isn't to say that all Forsaken by definition are evil bastards, non-Apothecary aligned Forsaken are socially between a grungy Goth and a metalhead, and are generally loyal to the Horde. The player character is generally left up to the player to decide as far as alignment goes beyond some basic quests pushing you in the general direction of your faction story (that any player on your faction can do), as well as an occasional Forsaken NPC who isn't a complete fucking asshole appear throughout the game, a notable example would have been Leonid Barthalomew, an ex-Paladin (a Warrior, actually, but good luck convincing the fandom) who didn't put up with the bullshit of the Forsaken faction and became a ranking leader in the Argent Crusade - the amalgamation of various "Holy Orders" (such as Argent Dawn and parts of Scarlet Crusade) as well as formerly independent champions of the just, currently devoted to the restoration of the Plaguelands and, amusingly, "watching" Sylvanas (Mission Accomplished!). While Horde Forsaken became more evil as a group, more Forsaken were depicted as relatively friendly to both factions in NPC organizations (although this is true of all races; organizations that were previously filled with the races that wore the hat the proudest now have any race than can be that class popping up, plus Goblins for everyone).

Forsaken have long been hated in the Alliance community for the fact that they were a favored race for PvP (immunity to fear has often been criticized as being [[Cheese]]), [[Edgy]] botched writing that makes them come across as dickheads who never suffer any kind of karmic payback for their actions, and their lore is the most openly aggressive towards all <s>non-Night Elf and</s> non-Draenei factions (Pandaren not being tied to anyone's story but their own and a vague connection to the Alliance and Horde as a whole). However, there's also a great deal of skub regarding the direction of their story and the reason (neckbeards and fangurlz) obsessing over their faction leader Sylvanas), which we absolutely refuse to speak of here because dumbasses think this article is a good place to argue about it.

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====Trolls====
No, no, not the [[Troll (Internet)|internet kind]], the mythical [[Troll]]s. Very tall, have two toes and three fingers, have large tusks that come in different shapes and come from the back of their mouth like boars or the front of their mouth like Oni, tend to favor a mohawk or dreadlocks as a hairstyle, have a dewclaw, and their skin differs from subrace to subrace because their bodies are adaptive and become anything from treebark-like to full of magic to covered in a soft and almost invisible velvet (all of which basically just gives them a different color). Are into Voodoo and worship Loa, tend towards being Mesoamerican in culture even if they come from an Egypt or Black Forest expy. The Darkspear tribe aka the Horde trolls sound like they have bad Jamaican accent, while the other tribes seem to prefer Cuban. Used to be allies of the Old Horde (there was a time before Green Jesus...), sharing the orcish worldviews regarding their neighbours and dreaming of the rebirth of their once world-spanning empire, presumably to fuck shit up for everyone once again with their... enthusiastic approach to the worship of their gods. During Green Jesus's Exodus, the Darkspear tribe became the Horde's first official allies, being another charity case Orcs took up in order to gain a race of sidekicks. Has been almost-but-not-quite as passive as Tauren in their overall relevance to the plot up until the time when their leader took over the Horde for a whole expansion. Then said leader died in an idiotic way, the more you think about it, and with him - the hopes of ever being relevant again, as trolls of all colours are being excluded from the plot and placed into pandaren limbo, alone and forgotten by devs...

Until Battle for Azeroth. Their patron god of death is now the king of all Loa and the coolest NPC in the game, Bwonsamdi. And yes, he is literal Troll Baron Samedi... and he's a total troll too. He'll bring you back from the dead and make your wildest wishes come true, for a price.
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====Blood Elves====
As already mentioned, Night Elves are [[Wood Elves]] and the Blood Elves are straddling the midpoint between [[High Elves]] and [[Dark Elves]] without the matriarchal or BDSM undertones. They had a culture-wide addiction to arcane magic thanks to their ancestors leaving the Night Elves over the banning of non-hippie magic and all the generations since being bathed in constant magical radiation from a gigantic well of energy in their capital city. The Horde nearly exterminated them once or twice or something. Then they began hating humans because the Alliance more or less abandoned them when Arthas came knocking. Makes more sense when some human captain can command their fucking leader and his retinue to go die on the frontlines. Once that was done (as well as roughly more than half of their race killed or otherwise... "indisposed", supposedly only one percent of their entire species still exist.), they split into those that figured that Kael'thas idea of consuming Demons to sustain their magic fix or else the withdrawal turns them into an Elf version of a meth addict in short order was fucking ingenious, the ones that that didn't think that munching on demons was healthy for their perfect skin, hair, and eye colour and the ones that got hippie all the way, mirroring their ancestors. The former majority, now calling themselves Sin'dorei, gradually became more and more evil out of desperation and supposed betrayal by their twice former allies (first when a High Marshal decided their Prince fighting beside Naga, who had been pillaging and destroying human villages and ships for years, was really fucking suspicious, probably because the Naga were in zero danger from the Scourge so it looked like the High Elves were in cahoots with them, the second time was when the Alliance supposedly sent agents to sabotage the High Elves' defenses while also negotiating for them to rejoin the Alliance even though said Alliance had negative numbers of reasons to even considering any actions against them...or maybe they figured the elves basically becoming a bunch of warlocks and demonic magic addicts was not k) and the aforementioned remaining percentage of the populace (that were '''very''' not chill about the whole demonic blood margaritas and allying with the people who were gleefully slaughtering them just a decade prior and mostly left Quel'Thalas in self-imposed (or forced) exile, usually ending up under human protection and almost invariably casting away everything from their culture to their clothing to willfully become basically point-eared humans and notable for their almost fanatical devotion to said species, which is hilarious considering normal elf relations with humans in fantasy), even keeping an abused angel in the basement they'd molest for paladin powers. After The Burning Crusade expansion, said Naaru was destroyed after being corrupted and restored their magical well with its goodness thereby turning the well into a font of both arcane and holy energy the elves feed on; their paladins are now able to draw power from the Light directly like everyone else and the Blood Elves are returning to being a dickish but generally decent (more or less) race that for some reason is still loyal to the Horde even though the lore heavily implies the whole reason for that was because their fel magic addiction had made them just shy of evil and so now they don't even have a reason to be in the Horde (and they mind-controlled nay-sayers in their populace to sing the Horde's praises and hate the Alliance). While they remain mostly Caucasian with blond hair, the Demon-suckling has turned the eyes of their race permanently green (except now with the holy light in their well they feed from, players can choose gold glowing eyes instead of green glowing eyes for their Blood Elf characters). However, due to their lands still being extremely vulnerable to the undead invasion (courtesy of Arthas), be it by remaining Scourge or Forsaken forces, their leader, the self-proclaimed Regent Lord Lor'themar Theron, is forced to play Sylvanas' sidekick and expected to act accordingly, which he's not happy about, but won't do anything about it either, other than attempted defection to the Alliance that failed because eldar don't have a standing monopoly on status quo (their attempt was ruined due to an attack on Darnassus enabled/executed by a faction of Blood Elves in Dalaran which made Lor'themar's attempt at defection seem like a trick/trap at worst or like he couldn't control his own subjects and therefore his nation couldn't be relied on at best). Amusingly, over 50% (closer to 70% on RP servers) of the Horde population on most servers goes to this guys, despite Horde fandom claims to the contrary and overall standing on their hat, and not just because their story occasionally progresses forwards (''unlike certain others''), mind you.
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====Goblins====
[[Goblin]]s are basically [[gnome]]s, but green and Swiss capitalist and with a [[Skaven|general disregard for the safety of whoever's using their creations (including themselves)]]. To make the obligatory comparison to Warhammer, they are basically a fluffy hybrid of [[Skaven]], [[Orcs & Goblins|Plains Goblins]], and [[Ork]] [[Mekboy|Mekboyz]] all rolled into one with their minds only revolving around money/gold, excitement, and sex (usually in that order), that is never the less still more stable then its component parts. Technically as a race they're free agents that refuse to ally with or against any of the superpower factions, but the Horde happens to be the highest bidder usually and the Alliance doesn't usually want them when they already have one race of technologically inclined midgets in the Gnomes (who have a rivalry with Goblins based on engineering philosophy although how violent this rivalry depends on the individual since they've been seen both engaging in attempted genocide, or working together to create a fucking permanent podrace track in the middle of the desert (which after being flooded became about hovercraft races)). They're also WAAAAAAAAY too into holidays, either because its a great money maker or because they're just obsessive and things like <strike>Christmas</strike> Winterveil lights and fireworks make their (usually short) lives worth living.

The Goblins that joined the Horde are only a part of their race called the Bilgewater Cartel who tend to be New Jersey expies complete with bad pop culture and a combination of 1800's industrialization and 1980's pop culture living in a fantasy world.

In the short-lived RPG, [[hobgoblin]]s were goblins transformed into giant, super-strong but dimwitted purple-skinned versions of themselves through alchemy. Of course, the transformation killed them after, like, 3 years, but their goblin masters didn't see the downfall in that.

There was a plotline involving the goblins basically having gained sapience and genius-level intelligence from a chemical when they used to be monkey-like critters that the troll empire used as slaves, but now the chemical that gave them their brains is all running out because they've squandered it, but it was dropped.

Goblin women are one of the foundations of the [[shortstack]] meme.
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===Allied Races===
Introduced in BFA, Allied Races are lesser races that joined the Alliance and Horde during the Fourth War. Most are based on previous races or a variant of them.

====Alliance-Aligned====
*Dark Iron Dwarves: As described in the above sections, the Dark Irons formerly got introduced to the game. [[Salamanders|Darker skinned with flaming hot eyes]] and hair, they joined with their own personal drill transports, magma monsters and eternally cool dark iron armor and weapons (with other surprisingly advanced technology). Technically joined all the way back in Cataclysm where they were present as NPCs, but the canon explanation for them being playable only with BfA was that with all the shit going on at the time with Deathwing (and with everyone expecting the Dark Iron to backstab them at the first opportunity) [[Derp|no one bothered to actually fully officialize their joining]] until BfA. Led by Queen Moria Thaurassian-Bronzebeard.
*Void Elves: A small cult within the Blood Elves who researches [[Chaos|Void-related stuff]] and got exiled for their troubles when they nearly corrupted the Sunwell by accident. They turned to Alleria and the Alliance took them under their wing. Seem to be the Alliances long-term solution to what will become of high elves, as they are currently getting new recruits from both high elves and even blood elves that wish to embrace the void. At least they got shiny purple tentacle hair out of it... Led by Magister Umbric. Canonically, there numbers are relatively small though gradually growing, but that hasn't stopped blizzard from giving millions of players access to them, while still [[FAIL|remaining notoriously iron-fisted about players wanting to make proper High Elf characters for no particular reason.]]
*Kul Tiran Humans: Again as described above, portly humans a few feet taller than their cousins. Come fully equipped with sailor gear, cool mustaches and one hell of a right uppercut. Led by Katherine Proudmoore, then later Jaina Proudmoore.
*Mechagnomes: Sadly not fully robotic Gnomes. Magitek-esque cyborg gnomes who loves progress and science and resisted their insane king, who attempted to [[Necron|remake the entire world in metal]]. Led by Prince Erazmin of the Rustbolt Resistance, later the Kingdom of Mechagon. Notable for having one of the more interesting racial capitals.
*Lightforged [[Draenei]]: Originally made from Draenei soldiers given a Light supercharge by the naaru Xe'ra millennia ago (side effects include glowing tattoos and immortality), they formed a [[Space Marines|spacefaring holy army]] and spent 25,000 years fighting the Burning Legion and helped defeat them in the final battle. Led by Xe'ra, then by High Exarch Turalyon (a Lightforged Human originally from the Alliance), with the highest-ranking Draenei being Captain Fareeya, because of course millennia old Draenei need to be overshadowed by decades old humies. Currently controlling the single greatest military asset on Azeorth, the Vindicaar - a magic spaceship with a magic laser and teleportation... which the writers swept under the rug because otherwise the Alliance would ROFLstomp the Horde.

====Horde-Alligned====
*Highmountain Tauren: An offshoot of the tauren race living in the Highmountain region of the Broken Isles. Moose-headed instead of cow-headed. Divided into three tribes (formally four), they are based more off tribes from the Pacific Northwest. In Legion both Alliance and Horde and quest for them, but join the Horde at the urging of their Mulgore cousins. Haven't done much lore-wise lately but have apparantly been stealing some thunder from the common tauren among the player base who like their look. Lead by High Chieftain Mayla Highmountain.
*Nightborne Elves: An offshoot of the Night Elfs, these guys are like what the Night Hippies were like in the golden age of their empire. Duing the War of the Ancients they locked themselves behind a magic shield and stayed their for 10,000 years until the events of Legion. Players will join and build up a rebel group lead First Arcanist Thalyssra, who was exiled for a previous rebellion. After saving them from their magic addiction and withdrawal induced zombiefication, they join the Horde out of gratitude and protection from vengeful Night Elves, who made no secret how they felt about their cousins due to most Nightborne leaders signing on with the Burning Legion......Though beyond that it was a bit of stretch of them joining the horde completely since most memebers of the alliance not really minding them (but horde needed more Elven races so there it is). Lead by First Arcanist Thalyssra.
*Mag'har Orcs: Refuges from alternate Dreanor. Many of them used to be part of the Iron Horde - [[Ork|a militarized empire of Orc supremacists who wanted to conquer or kill everyone else]] - while some never joined. They were forced to flee alt-Draenor after the Draenei there somehow became Lightforged fanatics killing those who would not convert to Light worship [[Skub|and the writers pretend the anti-Draenei Iron Horde never happened]] to push [[Edgy|yet another ham-fisted "dogmatism bad" story]]. Alternate Grommash Hellscream sacrificed himself giving them time to escape. Lead by Overlord Geya'rah, the alternate universe sister to Thrall.
*Zandalari Trolls: The first trolls they once had the greatest empire on Azeroth, but have fallen hard from the glory days. Initially lead by God King Rastakahn, his death at the hands of the Alliance during the Battle of Dazar'alor is what led the Zandalari to formally join the Horde, now led by his daughter Queen Talanji. The Zandalari live very close to their Loa (gods), because most of them are huge, intelligent magic people or animals who hang out down the street. Bwonsamdi, Loa of Death, is the current patron loa of the Empire, due to their former patron loa Rezan getting killed/banished and a secret bargain struck between him and Rastakahn.
*Vulpera: A race of goblin sized fox people(For those who like both [[Furry|Furries]] and [[Shortstack]]s, but don't like the Sonic The Hedgehog fandom.) native to the deserts of Vol'[[Dune|dun]], they make a living traveling in caravans across the sands scavenging and trading relics from the many ruins that dot the landscape. Friendly to the Horde after their race is saved from slavery and stew pots belonging to the serpentine Sethrak, they are pushed closer to the Horde after Alliance invasions of Vol'dun lead to vulpera thrown in cages and their caravans got burned by Alliance "heroes". A bit of a stretch in all honesty on the behavoir on the alliances part, not that the Alliance are always the good guys but it was a little forced just to justify them joining the horde, still a cute race in the horde isn't necessarily a bad thing. Furry Jawas, expect [[PROMOTIONS]].

===Pandaren===
Introduced in the Mists of Pandaria were the Pandaren, who uniquely get a choice on if they want to be Alliance or Horde since until then they had been neutral to the conflict between the two factions. The Pandaren perform the double duty of being a Far East analog and a race for furries who didn't like wolves or cows.

A hyper-evolved version of Furbolgs, a bear-like primitive race that's friends with the Night Elves. Pandaren live on their own highly magical (thanks to many MANY Titan creations) continent alongside fishmen called Jinyu who are hyper-evolved Murlocs, and Hozen who are somewhat evolved monkey people. A small number of their race, which all of the player character (but not all since Pandarian Pandaren later join thanks to the players) Pandaren come from, live on the back of a gigantic turtle who was the companion of the last Pandaren Emperor.

Pandaren are culturally incentivized to be ''fucking chill'' at all times, which reflects in all they do; brewing, cooking, farming, travelling and that dumb smile on their faces. Though few of them know it, this idea comes from centuries of living with the Sha (embodiments of dark emotions) below them at all times, and any time a sour emotion breaks out, you suddenly have a few blobby nightmares to deal with. Don't mistake their relaxed nature and fat asses for complacence; all of them know some sort of martial arts and their lands are invaded by giant sapient insects that want to eat all other life about once every hundred years, so they tend to be sharper than they look.

<gallery>
Image:Warcraft Pandaren 1.JPG
File:Pandarens playable.jpg
</gallery>

===Dracthyr===
Le new scaly bois

==Classes==
[[Image:4e MOREPIG.jpg|thumb|right|The proof is in the black pudding.]]
The classes of WoW are the staple of just about every role-playing game ever. Though each version has three different builds to them, in practice only one of the three is used with any level of frequency.

===Warrior===
You hit things until they die with extreme prejudice and/or alternatively take hits for the guys who can't take them. Warriors are pure melee combatants who are designed to be in the thick of it, either marmalizing everyone with their weapons, or getting priority-targets to focus on them so that other people can do their jobs. They run on [[rage]], [[Khorne|essentially warriors get to use more of their skills, the angrier they get]].

They come in three HIT THINGS UNTIL THEY DIE specs:

*'''Arms''': You have a single weapon, which you need to hold with both hands to use. You hit things with it until they die.

*'''Fury''': You have a weapon in each hand. You hit things with both of them until they die. This spec used to be limited to one-handed weapons, but then Blizzard decided that this made them too similar to Rogues and Frost Death Knights, so they gave Fursy warriors the ability to wield [[Awesome|a two-handed weapon in each hand]].

*'''Protection''': In Soviet Russia, things hit YOU until they die. Works best with a one-handed weapon and a shield. In a rare bit of class diversification during the universally regarded as awful Warlords of Draenor Expansion, Protection also became a decent damage spec that smashes people with its shield until it dies via the Gladiator stance. What's that? Interesting ideas? Blizzard can't have that and it was removed.

===[[Paladin]]===
The classic warrior of light, healing and buffing allies as he smites his enemies with divine power. Originally an Alliance only class, The Burning Crusade expansion gave this ass kicking holy warrior to the Horde. They are also known for signature spells, like their infamous "Bubble" a Divine Shield that protects the caster from ANY damage.

Used to be quite sucky until Wrath of the Lich King finally fixed them (mainly because Blizzard pushed the game out a good 6 months early and the Paladin Talent trees and skills being last-second rush jobs that took years to bring into a remotely functional state); Protection Paladins were tanks that could not keep the attention of mobs glued to themselves and grossly limited tools for damage mitigation and threat generation, Retribution Paladins were so bad that people were kicked out of Guilds if someone dared to play one and Holy Paladins, while actually being decent tank healers in their own right were simply overshadowed by Priests, who do everything a Holy Paladin could do better, except for one thing: Applying some of the best buffs in the game to the raid. Said buffs lasted only 5 minutes, and a typical raid in ye olde days consisted of 40 people and Paladins being demoted to the sole role of buff machines. It also didn't help that their only active combat ability that could be used on all mobs was withheld from them until the Burning Crusade Expansion.

For REASONS Pallys get some of the best looking armors in the game, with Judgement Armor being one of the most cosplayed and draw armors of all the fandom.

They come in three specs:

*'''Retribution''': Historically one of the WORST DPS specs in the game, to the point that people used to level up with Protection because it was better at causing damage. Then for a while it was a spec that did damage by being hit, which was different and unique but not very flexible. These days Retribution uses a combination of a big weapon and magic, and each spell give you a unit of Holy Power and then you can spend it on better spells.

*'''Holy''': The healing spec. Used to be the most efficient single-target healing specialization in the game and little else up until Cataclysm gave them some tools to also do group healing.

*'''Protection''': Basically the same thing as prot warrior, except you get Avenger Shield, which throws a magic bouncing shield at your enemies. Yes, exactly like Captain America.

===Death Knight===
Now the DK is what you get if you combined the Paladin and Warrior and got a [[Blackguard]]. A lulzy combination of spell-spamming and melee-skill spamming, all the while having damage that would put both two classes to shame (and used to be a decent enough tank), the only difference is that they can only heal themselves. They also have the ability to pull casters into melee range and shield themselves from magic damage. In-universe, they were the undead elite soldiers of Arthas but managed to regain their free will.

Just below paladins, and rival to mages, for the best transmogs.

Also they can [[Awesome|MAGICALLY STRANGLE PEOPLE, DARTH VADER-STYLE!!]]

Their three skill trees are:
* '''Blood''', which focuses on self-healing and having a really fucking massive health pool, making it an idea tank. Ironically, it cannot use shields, so it relies on a single big two-handed weapon.
* '''Frost''', the dual-wielding cancer that was considered a tank build (focused on parrying), until someone discovered it can top all DPS meters with just the starting gear the class gets.
* '''Unholy''', focused on inflicting diseases and summoning undead minions. This build was completely broken on the release - the DK could make his ghoul jump you, summon gargoyles to your position, pull you to himself and slow you massively, and if you managed to kill the DK, he turned into a ghoul himself for about 30 seconds, while his pets kept on tickling you with their massive claws; did I mention killing a ghoul would make it explode for fuckton of damage? PvP was super [[RAGE|fun back then]]

===Hunter===
A different name for the D&D Ranger, although they don't have the dual-wielding gimmick anymore (unless you're playing Classic WoW) and have a better choice of pets. Also one of the best classes to solo in-game content due to their utility, pet companion (who tanks most of the damage), decent survivability, and dominance on ranged combat. Has, until rather recently, been infamous for being the class most new players felt attracted to.

* '''Be(a)stmaster, aka The Bearshagger, aka [http://wowwiki.wikia.com/wiki/Rexxar Rexxar-wannabe]''', like the name suggests, focuses on empowering the pet more than the hunter. Back when WoW still had shoddy netcode and dodgy servers, a pet empowered this way could take on 5-man party in PvP and win. Arguably one of the best builds for soloing in-game content due to your portable tank pet, if a bit boring.
* '''Marksman''' focused on dealing massive damage using range weapons with high critical hit chance; most known for its aura which increased ranged damage, and generally being able to kill/maim people in a single ability burst.
* '''Survival''' used to be the PvP-focused, annoying build with focus on traps, poisons and sleep darts. That was back when melee weapons and ranged weapons had their own inventory slots, and hunters could (and were expected to) swap between both. When that system went away, Beast and Marks became the "ranged" hunter specs, and Survival became the melee hunter spec.

===Rogue===
Basically, they're D&D Rogues, except they aren't utterly worthless in combat. They excel in burst damage, having one of the greatest melee damage outputs of any class (although later updates took them down a few notches), at the cost of having very little in physical defense, which is compensated by having a good number of escape tricks up their sleeve to escape combat if they find themselves outclassed. They're also thieves and assassins, being the only class able to pick locks and coat their weapons with a variety of debilitating poisons.

They have three specializations to choose from:
* '''Assassination''', focuses on critical hits, finishing moves, and poisons, allowing you to finish off your targets quick and clean like, well, an assassin.
* '''Combat''' focuses on making you a [[Gork|cunningly brutal]] berserker, who focuses on beating someone with a sharp stick as much as possible by augmenting basic attacks to hit more efficiently. The go-to PvE spec as its the best at giving rogues the best damage output in straight-up combat.
**'''Outlaw''' is the same thing but with a new name.
* '''Subtlety''', focuses on stealth combat and survival, making you the most [[Mork|brutally cunning]] git in all the realms. Fights revolve around you striking the killing blow when your opponents are unaware of you, and keeping it that way.

===Druid===
Nature-oriented shapeshifters whose abilities are dependent on their different forms. They have one form each for healing, casting, tanking, and straight-up melee combat but you can only be in one at a time. They're pretty flexible and can fill out just about any party class, but are outdone by dedicated classes.

* '''Balance''': magic DPS caster, comes with a Moonkin form (ugly, fat owlbear, could Bli$$ be taking a piss at otherkin?). These are also known as "Laser Chickens" or "Boomkins", and used to be known as "Oomkins" because of their tendency to go '''o'''ut '''o'''f '''m'''ana early and often.
* '''Feral''': You are cat or a bear. Melee DPS/Tank depending on the form it takes and talents it invests into - cat for is for damage (uses rogue's mechanics, with self-renewing energy), bear form is for taking hits (uses warrior's rage mechanics)
** In Mists of Pandaria, the bear form was split off into its own dedicated spec, "Guardian"
* '''Restoration''': healer, with wide variety of Healing over Time spells, can transform into a walking tree-of-life, aka a treant

===Shaman===
Similar to [[Shadowrun]] shamans, in that they use totems and spirits to empower their abilities. Shamans are also a flexible class like the druid in that they can be a caster, healer, melee, and tank class (sort of. Even in the best of circumstances and setups, they're pretty sub-par tanks) but are more focused on augmenting their and their party's abilities and equipment through their various totems.
* '''Elemental''': the ranged caster, spamming a variety of lightning and magma/fire spells
* '''Enhancement''': melee caster; has the ability to use Windfury, a buff granting a chance for extra attack with a melee weapon - back in the Classic version, this worked with two-handed weapons, meaning the shaman could jump you and take 4-6 massive swings at you before you'd finish casting one spell. It was [[rape|hilarious]]
* '''Restoration''': healing build, its signature spell being Healing Wave, an inverted Chain Lightning.

===Priest===
<S>You heal people. That's it.</s> Today people see WoW priest as the default priest archetype, but at the time of creation they were quite exotic with all the mind-rapey and buddhist discipline stuff. Out of D&D classes they are closer to the psion than to cleric.
As everything in WoW, they're in three flavors:
* '''Discipline''', used to be completely shit, solely complementing other trees, then changed into PvP mind control build, then into a hybrid between dealing holy damage, buffing and applying shields; the shield part has become the staple of this spec
* '''Holy''', the go-to healing spec, allowing the priest to keep entire parties alive
* '''Shadow''', for those who rolled priest, but wanted to be more edgy and play DPS. Bit of a mix between Mages and Warlocks, supplementing strong damage spells that have long cooldowns with a plethora of various DoT spells to keep track of. In Legion they got the most lore-significant legendary weapon, one of only three that are supposedly sentient and whisper to the player.

===Mage===
The classic wizard, minus the Vancian spellcasting system.

'''Arcane''': [[meme|I CAST... MAGIC MISSILE]]! Sacrifices raw damage for utility, giving you better mana efficiency, greater mobility in the form of teleportation and invisibility spells, and versatility with damage by giving you an array of AoE and single-target non-elemental spells.

'''Fire''': Fireball solve everything, especially when you cast half a dozen of them. Focuses on DoT and AoE attacks, at the cost of utility. Long running rivalry with rogues for top DPS.

'''Frost''': Stay cool and kick some ice. Focuses on crowd control with stuns and slows, survivability using protective frost magic, and is unique for letting you have a water elemental pet, making them the better choice for solo content as mages are pretty bad at surviving getting punched in the face. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkTHtWX7CCY Mr. Freeze puns] are not necessary, but encouraged.

===Warlock===
Casters who use fel magic to drain and capture the souls of their enemies, then use those captured souls as fuel for other spells, which typically involve summoning demons, inflicting diseases, and/or setting things on fire. In lore they are generaly distrusted and feared, and are considered one of the most powerful individuals. In gameplay, they're basically hunters with more evil looking armor sets and a DoT tree instead of a melee tree.

They are divided into 3 specialisations:

*'''Demonology''': Specializes in summoning better demons, and then making those demons even better. This spec also used to have the ability to turn yourself into a demon, but then that ability was given to demon hunters in Legion.

*'''Destruction''': Hit a thing with a lot of damage all at once. Then do it again until the thing is dead.

*'''Affliction''': Put a bunch of damage-over-time effects on the thing, then run around and wait for it to die.

===Monk===
All the kung-fu gimmicks that you'd expect from this class. Also, they can tank as a drunken master or heal using weird mist magic.

'''Windwalker''': The damage spec, full of punches, kicks, and magically summoned tigers, basic attacks build chi points that are spent on more powerful spells.

'''Mistweaver''': The healing spec, uses mana to control magical mist the flows from player to player healing them. Formerly used chi but that was too hard for some people.

'''Brewmaster''': The tank sec, it focuses on damage mitigation from the stagger effect and dodging attacks. Primarily known for throwing beer on a mob then breathing fire on it.

===Demon Hunter===
The other melee warlocks, but different. High mobility, fel empowered damage dealers or meatshields, whose wings allow them to double-jump or glide by default. In-universe, they are the elven followers of Illidan who imprison demons in their bodies to draw power from them and risk corruption. They got thrown in magic-jail along with their master, but have been pulled out of stasis to help fight the Burning Legion. Even edgier than Death Knights, if you can believe that. Like warlocks, they get an in-universe bad rep for using Fel magic.

Also they get [[Awesome | SWEET MOTHERFUCKING EYE LAZORS PEW PEW PEW!!]]

'''Havoc''' The damage spec and the one with eye lasers, makes heavy use of movement boosting effects to deal damage.

'''Vengeance''' The tank spec, focused around self healing and dodging.

==Plot summaries==
WoW is notorious for its use of expansion packs, which add on lore not or loosely hinted at, sometimes coming with retcons. These are recieved about [[Skub|as well]] as you might expect from any other retcon.

===Important Characters===
Before we get started here, let's take awhile to go over who all these people are.

===Alliance===

====Humans====
* '''Varian Wrynn:''' (Former) King of the playable human faction Stormwind and former High King of the Alliance. A well-intentioned but bull-headed, warmongering widower. Was initially one of the main characters of a long-running comic-book where he was attempting to find his weaker-willed half and merge with it, after it got split from him by a dragon disguised as a noblewoman. It's a long story. A proper warrior and quite popular among players, he got an awesome last stand against the Burning Legion (while the Horde counterpart got speared by a random goon). His son, Anduin Wrynn, has taken his place as the High King of the Alliance.
* '''Anduin Wrynn:''' Son of Varian, recently crowned King after his father untimely demise. A Priest of the Light, he's less impulsive and hot-headed than his father. Also, he kinda looks like a young Brad Pitt in the new cinematics. Obsessed with peace, compromise and finding the good in everyone - even his enemies - but the strain of leadership and war has begun to take a toll on him. The Alliance, while fairly happy with him, is slowly splintering, since several forces (Genn Greymane, Turalyon and Tyrande chiefly) are pushing and pulling to get him to open up to more aggressive methods in dealing with the Horde. Briefly imprisoned and under the control of Sylvanas' former sugar daddy, the Jailer, he's freed by the combined efforts of Jaina, Uther, Thrall, the PCs, the Primus and Sylvanas.
* '''Jaina Proudmoore:''' Current Lord Admiral of Kul Tiras, and the most powerful human mage in Azeroth... Or maybe it's Khadghar. It's difficult to say. She led the survivors of Lorderaen away from the undead invasion and helped fight the Burning Legion back in Warcraft 3. One of the key proponents of Alliance-Horde peace in setting, until Theramore was nuked by Garrosh Hellscream, followed by some [[Derp|more than a little questionable behavior]] of Dalaran resident blood elves, [[Grimdark|at which point she did a complete 180 in her opinion towards the Horde as whole and orcs in particular]]. Recently mellowed out (but did not forgive) the Horde for the atrocities, and got to succeed her mother as the Lord Admiral of her kingdom, the naval-based Kul Tiras.
* '''Mathias Shaw:''' Spymaster of the Kingdom of Stormwind and WoW James Bond - except he's monogamous and likes the men instead. Was replaced by a Dreadlord during Legion (which partly explained why the Horde and Alliance was at each other's throats again during an alien invasion) and was the Alliance MVP during the Fourth War. He's got a great moustache and is in love with WoW Captain Jack Sparrow.
* '''Taelia Fordragon:''' Hammer-wielding daughter of Bolvar Fordragon, who used to be the Steward of Stormwind before Varian came back to take the throne. Joins the Alliance as a hero after Kul Tiras is cleansed of pirates, witches and old god-worshipping cultists in BFA.
* '''Flynn Fairwind:''' Drunken privateer/mercenary/rogue from Kul Tiras. Every DnD Rogue packed into one character with a bit of Jack Sparrow thrown in and a frequently-used agent to go where Alliance agents can't go. Has a thing for Shaw thighs apparently, but was into Taelia as well for a spell.
* '''Turalyon:''' Light infused immortal paladin champion, pretty cool guy and Alleria's partner and baby daddy. Was part of the Lightforged, a Light Crusade against the Legion, where he got a Light supercharge form their lead Naaru and became immortal. Now serves the Alliance again, until another threat in need of some LUX VULT! comes along, but has PTSD due to his experiences fighting the Legion. Currently minding Stormwind's throne until Anduin returns, and a popular candidate for future fanatical villain among [[Edgy|certain fans]] despite him moving further away from fanaticism as the story progresses.

====Dwarves====
* '''Dwarven Council:''' Ruling council of ALL DORFS ever King Magni got turned into diamond in Cataclysm. Again, it's a long story.
** '''Muradin Bronzebeard:''' taught Arthas how to fight, then was rescued by the same dick on Northrend. Instead of dying, he lost his memory and became the leader of frozen beard bois. After some years singing "Let It Go" in DORFISH, he was found by the Alliance and was reunited with his brothers Magni and Brann. These days he represents the Brozenbeard Clan of Ironforge.
** '''Falstad Wildhammer:''' Gryphon rider with cool tats and a scottish accent thicker than your mom. Longs to just fly around in the Hinterlands, but responsibilities forces him to play politician in Ironforge.
** '''Moira Bronzebeard:''' Daughter of Magni, and next in line of succession of Ironforge. She was captured by Dagran Thaurissan (then-leader of the Dark Iron Clan), and rescued by the players. Or so we thought, until she revealed she was in love with the guy and in fact had a baby with him. When she came back to get her throne, she brought the Dark Iron Dwarves with her. She's come around as a real force for the Dwarves and may actually rival Muradin in political power on the council. Used to have problems with daddy Magni, but they're figuring it out, now that he's a live again.
* '''Magni Bronzebeard:''' Former King of Ironforge, but was relieved from duty when he was turned into diamonds attempting to save Ironforge from succumbing to the Cataclysm. Was awakened as the Legion attacked and is now a sort-of messenger for the planet itself, though he's also liable to hear whispers from old gods... Can he still be categorized as a dwarf if he's made of diamond?... Also became a memelord in Battle for Azeroth as he would constantly send you on daily quests to close azurite fissures. So much so Blizz would even parody it in Shadowlands if your character joins the Night Fae covenant. "OCH, CHAMPION! AZEROTH'S BLEEDIN' AAL OVER THA PLACE! YE'VE GOT TAE HEAL HER WOONZ!"

====Night Elves====
* '''Tyrande Whisperwind:''' <s>Queen</s> Leader of the Night Elves, Malfurion's wife and High Priestess of the moon goddess Elune. Cares deeply for her people but is slow to trust foreigners. Formerly their military leader as well for several thousand years, though she was left to do nothing for almost the entirety of WoW, and had a strange Jamaican accent out of nowhere. In Legion she started to return to her old self except for getting over her xenophobia. That is, until the Night Elf parts of Kalimdor were invaded by the Horde. One dangerous, eldritch ritual later, she received new powers from Elune, becoming the first "Night Warrior" in thousands of years, and then leading a guerilla resistance against the Horde in the Fourth War. ABSOLUTELY NOT FUCKING FINE with the peace agreement with the Horde and literally walks out of an Alliance meeting of representatives due to Anduin disallowing her to try and regain her people's homeland or take out Sylvanas and her loyalists. Attempted to do that, starting with Sylvanas' undead concubine Nathanos before going on a killing spree in Torghast and fighting her way out to Ardenweald where she got her showdown with Sylvanas... [[Fail|only for Sylvanas' plot armor to break Tyrande's kill streak as Elune withdrew her power when Tyrande '''literally had Sylvanas by the throat''', which Sylvanas uses to flee]]. Then Tyrande loses her Night Warrior powers helping make a new seal for Ardenweald, but is still Elune's High Priestess.
* '''Malfurion Stormrage:''' Leader of the Night Elf druids and Tyrande's husband. Spent most of his time trapped in a corrupted part of the Emerald Dream, but is brought back in WoW. He now leads the druids to protect the balance of nature. Will work with the Horde but won't make small talk with them. Shows up Legion when the Emerald Nightmare and his nemesis Xavius make a return. The player characters rescue him from Xavius and help him purge the Emerald Nightmare (except for one Void-corrupted flower nearly everyone missed...). Helped defend Teldrassil when the Horde invaded and nearly beat Sylvanas until he got an axe in the back from Saurfang. He barely survived and Tyrande took him to safety but didn't do much beyond a few cameos in Darkshore.
* '''Maiev Shadowsong:''' Royally pissed off prison warden of Illidan Stormrage and leader of the Night Elf Wardens. A real menace that just can't sit still without antagonizing someone; that someone usually being Tyrande. Now that Illidan is kept locked away, she assists the Night Elves as a general and agent when possible. Kinda made peace with Tyrande during the Battle for Darkshore.
* '''Shandris Feathermoon:''' Leader of the Night Elf military and adopted daughter of Tyrande Whisperwind. Helped fight the Legion as a teenager during the War of the Ancient, Tyrande took Shandris under her wing after Shandris' parents were killed. Sees Tyrande as her mother, and is neither racist nor anti-technology so she's a very sis-tier Night Elf (<s>does the term bro-tier count if the person is female...</s> <s> Manliness is unisex ! </s> No, it's not. But femaleness has a quality all of its own). She's also a leader of Azeroth's order of rangers/best hunting club The Unseen. Fears for Tyrande's life when she becomes the Night Warrior and works to help save her, tracking her down in Torghast and also being present when Tyrande's Night Warrior powers are removed.

====Gnomes====
* '''Gelbin Mekkatorque:''' Elected king of the Gnomes. Has his mittens full trying to reclaim the lost gnomish capital of Gnomeragon. Was a part of the Alliance attack on Dazar'alor, where he was dealt a vicious, lifethreatening blow that was later cured by the Mecha-Gnomes. Has a spiffin' Gnome Battle-mech!

====Draenei====
* '''Velen:''' Immortal prophet of the draenei and Blizzard's second Moses reference after Thrall. He was co-leader of the Eredar alongside of Kil'Jaeden and Archimonde before the latter two (and a portion of their race) made a deal with Sargeras and became demons. Arguably the settings most powerful non-Naaru light user. He was tricked into fighting his long-lost son to the death in ''Legion'', had a crisis of faith and planned to storm back to Argus and give the Legion a righteous butt-whipping. Velen sort-of forgave Kil'Jaeden after he was killed in a raid, and led the assault to Argus where he swung between delivering that butt-whipping and arguing with Illidan about fate and faith. Serves as an advisor for the young Anduin when daddies Genn and Turalyon aren't around.

====Worgen====
* '''Genn Greymane:''' [[Furry|King of the werewolf faction]], the Worgen. Definitely written to be a whipping boy of the story, with a lot of his woes being self-inflicted. Was apart of the original Alliance before building a wall between his Kingdom and the others when the Scourge reared their very undead heads. [[Not as Planned|Ended up killing off most of his people doing so because he forgot to invite them in after building the wall]]. Ended up freeing the Worgen from their Prison in another dimension by having Archfurry himself, Argul, bring them from the Emerald Dream. The Worgen shortly turned against his people and turned them all into [[Lovecraft|furries but British]]. During the Cataclysm expansion, Sylvanas raided his Kingdom (possibly in revenge for him leaving the world to deal with the Scourge) and killed his son. Lately he is trying to serve as parental figure to Anduin, as the new king just lost his own father. Thwarted Sylvanas' plan to enslave a Super Val'kyr into making more Val'kyr but took a poison arrow for it. Frequently advocates for increasing pressure on the Horde and is becoming a real power-player in the Alliance, in a "power-behind-the-scenes" kind of way. Given his anti-Horde policies and how the Night Elves aided the Gilneans, he gets along well with Tyrande.

====High Elves====
* '''Alleria Windrunner:''' Long-lost sister of Sylvanas Windrunner, former leader of Silvermoon's army and partner and baby mama of Turalyon. After helping win the second war and leaving her son Arator on Azeroth, she and Turalyon went crusading with the Army of Light for several hundred years before being discovered again by the people of Azeroth. Willingly began to dabble in the Void and, with the aid of her Ethereal teacher Locus-Walker, now uses her affinity for these dark powers to guide the Void Elves.
* '''Umbric:''' Actual leader of the Void Elves. Unnotably apart from his sweet, bassy voice.

===Horde===

====Orcs====
* '''Thrall/Go'el:''' The current leader of the Orcs and original creator of the current iteration of the Horde. A part-Moses, part-Spartacus orc shaman raised by humans who leads the Horde to freedom. Was awesome for awhile until the main dev got a hard-on for him and made him give up Warchief to become saviour of the world in Cataclysm. This died down and now he's leader of the Orcs, but ceded becoming the Warchief again, and gave it to Vol'jin. Wallowed in despair at drinking his own cool-aid after the elements abandoned him in ''Legion'', until Saurfang found him and his family in Outland and brought him back to boot out Sylvanas. Is the current leader of the Orcs.
* '''Varok Saurfang:''' An awesome Orc warrior. Lost his son who was killed by the Lich King, encounters his son as an undead servant of the Lich King and is forced to watch him die again. The fanbase holds him as the most badass motherfucker in the franchise, seeing him as the Chuck Norris of Warcraft (or Chuck Norris as the Saurfang of real life). Was the "main character" of sorts of ''BFA'', and the first to rebel against Sylvanas. [[RAGE|Killed by her in Mak'Gora in front of the entire Horde]] with mysterious Death magic, but [[Awesome|not before calling her out as a selfish edgelord and getting her to admit this, destroying her credibility as Warchief and making her flee]].
* '''Garrosh Hellscream:''' Son of Grom Hellscream and rivals Sylvanas for "most divisive character in the game's history". A weak and sickly orc who joined the army, got exiled, was rediscovered, then became Warchief. After being shown that Grom was partly the cause and wholly the solution to the Orcs' corruption, he became obsessed with his father's legacy. He was initially meant to be Thrall's sidekick and the character who encompassed Orc id and overaggression as a counterpoint to everyone's favorite shaman. When the writers eventually realized they'd botched his character and killed any interest in him having a sympathetic character arc into becoming a better person with a power drill, they took his character to the logical extreme instead. He eventually decided "Orcs is da best!" and obsessed over Orc racial purity, considering non-Orcs Untermenschen; he created an Orc-only faction of enforcers, killed and/or imprisoned dissenters, gathered an organized army and turned nearly the whole world against him when he nuked the Alliance-allied fortress port of Theramore. He had a few allies and sought to achieve victory by any means necessary, including occult research. [[Nazi|Sound familiar]]? Was overthrown, and stupidly given a fair trial (stupidly because less evil villains are often summarily executed in this setting), then disappeared on a time-travel jaunt to try and re-write history. Thrall kills him with a gigantic lightning bolt in a Mak'gora on alternate Draenor, though not before Garrosh spits some hard-hitting truths at him. His soul ended up in the Afterlife Revendreth where the Venthyr try to redeem him, milk him like a cow for anima ("Old Reliable" indeed) and later throw him into the Maw when he didn't break. There the Jailer's servant Soulrender Dormazain tried to break him and milk his anima. Garrosh instead freed himself when the adventurers beat Dromazain and, unrepentant to the last, used all his anima in an attack that destroyed both his soul and Dromazain, meaning Garrosh is gone for good.

====Trolls====
* '''Vol'jin:''' Leader of the Darkspear trolls after his father's death. Led the rebellion against Garrosh and his Orc-Nazis and was nominated as the next Warchief by Thrall and all other candidates went along with it. Highlights of being Warchief include and limited to: invading the alternate timeline of a parallel universe's orc homeworld and dying like a bitch. Was fatally wounded during the latest attempt of the Burning Legion to invade, and nominated Sylvanas Windrunner as Warchief as he passed away. Being dead didn't stop him, as he worked hard trying to figure out who the ''fuck'' would tell him to put a genocidal, sociopathic undead in the seat of Warchief. Now the new troll Loa of Kings with the destruction of his predecessor Rezan.
* '''Queen Talanji:''' Young Queen of the Zandalari Trolls after her papi die - Wow there's a lot of father-figures that die in this franchise, huh? Inherited a declining kingdom and a bond to the Loa of Death Bwonsamdi, so, like Anduin up above, she's really fucking stressed about the whole thing; especially since Sylvanas tried to have her assassinated. Hates the Alliance since they attacked her capital city and killed her fadda in ''BFA'', especially Jaina.
* '''Zekhan:''' The [[Meme|ever-famous "Zappy Boi"]] that inexplicably became one of the key characters for ''BFA''. Held Saurfang as a father-figure until he was killed, and is now kind of a roaming agent for the Trolls and the Horde at large. Bit of a horndog for Horde ladies of all races, especially Blood Elf women and Queen Talanji (he sure aims high).
* '''Rokhan:''' Old-ass character that has been in the series since Warcraft III, he is currently the leader of the trolls in the Horde.

====Undead====
* '''Sylvanas Windrunner:''' Undead former high elf who leads the Forsaken - Undead that broke free of the Lich Kings's control and became independent - and possibly the most divisive character in Warcraft's history. Very recently also nominated leader of the Horde as a whole by her dying predecessor Vol'Jin. She's Sarah Kerrigan from Starcraft, but as an elf with every instance of "alien" replaced with "undead". Unlike Thrall, rather than being too trusting for her own good, she has far too much of an "ends justify the means" mindset coupled with motive decay/shitty writing. The writers like using her to [[Grimdark|create easy conflict]]. Abandons the position of Warchief after Saurfang exposes her selfish agenda to everyone in-universe, but not before killing him with death magic from her not-Grim-Reaper sugar daddy Zovaal the Jailer. Retconned into going full-retard nihilist, thinking that free will doesn't exist so she'll help the Jailer tear down the unjust cosmos... [[What|only to turn on him years later after he says the word "serve", despite seeing many similarities between him and the Lich King beforehand.]] Currently is being force to free the souls she helped damned in the Maw. Like Illidan, Sylvanas is being removed from the chess board until Blizzard feels they can bring her back. She also simps for some dude from Lorderon named Nathanos.
* '''Nathanos Marris/Blightcaller''': A human who was trained by Sylvanas to be a ranger and [[PROMOTIONS|served her]] as an undead. Had the surname Marris in life, but took Bligtcaller in undeath. Decent ranger but a colossal, obnoxious jerk to everyone not named Sylvanas Windrunner. Was originally ridcude as an absolute simp towards Sylvanas, but this was retconned to the other way around (She abused her position in the High Elf Military and later Horde/Forsaken to keep him around) though Nathanos is still a a lapdog towards his elven meal ticket (Never underestimate the power of Elven Pussy). Ganked by Tyrande in the latest expansion but likely ended up somewhere in the Shadowlands. Sylvanas somehow didn't know about his death until Tyrande told her. Currently missing though Sylvanas promised to find him and confirming she still loves him. At least she is loyal to some guy's cock.

Notes from the Sylvanas Novel and recent developments: The one time Blizzard makes a good "Recton" his character was a major player in several recent books. One thing that is noted is a conversation between Garona and Nathanos where he admits to feeling betrayed by the Alliance for the cruel treatment of the Forsaken people. It does offer insight to how a man like Nathanos would stand aganist a Alliance he once fought for. It is also made clear that despite his tendencies to go along with Sylvanas Windrunner's worse plans, he does not seem to enjoy it. In Shadows Rising he despises actions like killing children and it is made clear that his loyalty does have limits. For the most part he comes across not as a simp, but a really fucked up person with a form of pusedo-stockhome syndrome. Nathanos also seem to have a unhealthy martyr complex, willing to throw his life away to protect family and Sylvanas Windrunner. In The Sylvanas "We need to fix Sylvanas character so she can rejoin the Horde and become a hero again" novel, Nathanos is ''actually'' not as big of dick. For one he was not fully on board with Sylvanas actions but did it outo of a fuck up obligation to her (Implied as a coping method for his death) and a duty to her since she is all he has left. He apparently was a "ugly" man by Elven standards, but made up for it by having some wit. Interestly it is implied Lorthemar was a rival of Nathanos because he was thirsting after those Windrunner Dommie Mommy Milkers. Lorthemar is basically confirmed to be the Jorah Mormont of the High Elven Military. In that way Nathanos character was Improved to be funny as fuck.

* '''Lillian Voss:''' An anti-undead assassin from the Scarlet Crusade in life, but was turned into one of the Forsaken and began to take on her new charge and life doing what she does best - Stabbing people (starting with every Scarlet Crusader she can find). Currently the de facto leader of the Forsaken despite only being forced to join the faction in ''Battle for Azeroth'', since they lack leadership in the form of Sylvanas.
* '''Calia Menethil:''' Last heir to the Lorderean throne and older sister of Arthas Menethil, who ended up killed by Sylvanas in a failed peace-meeting between the Forsaken and some of their living relatives from Stormwind. The very first undead reanimated with the Light instead of Undeath, which is very fucking strange since lorewise, using the Light hurts the Forsaken as if their bodies were filled with acid (healing their souls until they flip to regular dead) and the Light is able to properly resurrect people. Is positioned to take over leadership of the Forsaken, but many (both in-and-out of universe) still dislike the idea given to the fact that she's Arthas' sister. Definitely a Public Relations problem, though Blizzard seem set on making her the new Leader of the Forsaken (she is leaning on her father's good name), though the Forsaken made a council and she's just one of its members (albeit sympathetic to the Alliance). Really unpopular in the Horde community as many see her as a Alliance Bitch, a Light-aligned spy, and not [[Neckbeard|even as hot as Sylvanas, let alone a Blood Elf Twink.]]

====Tauren====
* '''Cairne Bloodhoof:''' Former chief of the Tauren. United the Tauren with the help of the Orcs, and then became besties with Thrall. Grandfatherly and all around cool guy. Ends up getting killed in a cage match with Garrosh after Cairne's token evil subordinate poisoned Garrosh's axe by pretending she was blessing it. And he was winning before the poison got him.
* '''Baine Bloodhoof:''' Current chief of the Tauren, the controversial son of fan-favourite Cairne Bloodhoof from Warcraft 3. Was a two-bit NPC until he was made racial leader following Cairne's death. Had a bit of development in ''BFA'' where he attempts to resist Sylvanas' edginess through sort-of-passive resistance but ends up being rescued by the actual resistance later. Often disliked by players who find him to be too "human" and unwilling to stand up for the Horde to the point that he once [[FAIL|banished tauren for fighting the Alliance, said Alliance who were invading their lands in a war between Horde and the Alliance]]. Incidentally is a close friend of Anduin and this is his most developed relationship rather than anyone on the Horde.
* '''Mayla Highmountain:''' Leader of the Highmountain Tauren who the Horde picked up in ''Legion''. A barbarian warchief who takes no guff... When she's allowed to do something. Apparently has a thing for Baine booty.

====Blood Elves====
* '''Lor'themar Theron:''' Current leader of the blood elves after Kael'thas was hit with the Villain Ball. Hates politics, loves battle, but is a good leader. [[Awesome|An elf who has facial hair besides eyebrows and is not a pansy or a Mary Sue]]. Has begun to claw his way out of obscurity through his new model and more and more plotlines involving him. Has a mid life crisis in Mists of Pandaria, which ends when he hooks up with Thalyssra. He also was a Sylvanas simp and was implied to be jealous that Sylvanas was fucking Nathanos.
* '''Lady Liadrin:''' Badass female priest-turned-paladin. A rare case of well written female character, starting of as the leader of the Blood Knights, the Blood Elven paladins in the Burning Crusade. At first she was kinda of a bitch, teaching the blood knights how to use the Light by taking the power of a Naaru (basically torturing what is an angelic-like being in-game). Originally she took power from the Na'aru they had BDSMed up in SIlvermoon's basement, is a proper Light Paladin now. She shows up more consistently than even Lor'themar, being part of the Draenor campaign, then becoming one of the Paladin Champions in Legion, and even beating the crap out of the Death Knight strike team that snuck into the Paladin Order Hall to steal the body of Tirion Fordring and resurrect him as one of their own (Light-infused sacred halls of the hall were a big help, though).

====Nightborne====
* '''Thalryssa:''' Leader of the Nightborne in the Horde and a former resistance fighter who, with the help of the players, manage to overthrow the oppressive regime that controlled Suramar, their only city and capital. Decided to side with the Blood Elves instead of their closer cousins the Night Elves, since 1) Lady Liadrin was an understanding person who knew all about making unpalatable choices to survive, and 2) Tyrande was such a posturing bitch about union with the Alliance that she almost wanted to invite the Burning Legion back into her city just to make her shut up. Despite Sylvanas' being as evil as the Suramar tyrant Thalyssra rebelled against, she stays in the Horde. Really thirsty for Lor'themar, which he reciprocates after Sylvanas is overthrown, culminating in a big offscreen wedding (in a tie-in short story).

====Goblins====
* '''Gallywix:''' Former leader of the Goblins. A corporate asshole who left his people to die when a volcano destroyed their home then tried to enslave them when they escaped. Forgiven by Thrall and allowed to lead them for reasons instead of doing the sensible thing (offing him and making the Goblin who fixed everything for everyone (aka the player) the new leader). JUST managed to get a new model before he was found to be in cahoots with Sylvanas and fled Orgrimmar while burning every shred of evidence he could find of his connections to her. Current whereabouts are unknown.
* '''Gazlowe:''' Mayor of Ratchet and is now also the Goblin leader in the Horde. Helped build Orgrimmar but wasn't a big fan of the politics so he kept to himself in the southern trade port of Ratchet. New leader of the Goblins with Gallywix gone.

===Neutral===

====Pandaren====
* '''Chen Stormstout:''' The original hard-drinking panda boy and posterboy for all Pandaren. Fat old fuck made of about 16% beer and 184% awesome, he's in-universe recognized as a memetic badass that can outfight the best brawler, tell a better story than the best braggart and drink more beer than the largest drunkard. Is a bit closer to the Horde than the Alliance as he worked with them to safeguard Orgrimmar in W3.
* '''Lorewalker Cho:''' Soft-spoken historian and a bit of a troll. Turned out to be the envoy and spy of the Emperor, who no one knew still existed.
* '''Taran Zhu:''' I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING WARMONGERS ON MY MOTHERFUCKING ISLAND! Leader of the Shadopan, ninja pandas who defend the Pandaren from a swarm of locust people. Hated both the Alliance and Horde so much that he got possessed by an eldritch embodiment of hatred that he had to be purified/exorcised of. Mellowed out over time, but his "eye for an eye" moral speeches apparently did seep into the minds of the two factions... Until BFA that is.
* '''Emperor Shaohao:''' Ancient old fucker who seemed to disappear many centuries ago after surrounding the island in mist, but he survived as a spirit on the top of the largest mountain in Pandaria. Secretly guides his people from behind the scenes.

====The Argent Crusade====
Organization of paladins across factional lines who prefer to fight the dark forces intent on consuming and destroying the world rather than each other.

* '''Tirion Fordring''': Paladin classic, a knight and veteran who gave up a comfortable life as a lord after becoming close friends with an orc, Eitrigg, before it was cool after the latter saved his life after a duel just because it was the right thing to do, and Tirion decided to repay the favor when Eitrigg was arrested despite that meaning committing treason and losing everything. The Light didn't abandon him for this, and Tirion hid away as a hermit before learning his own son, gone astray without Tirion there to guide him, had become the head of the fanatical and genocidal Scarlet Crusade, something that would ultimately cost the kid his life. Events galvanized him to come out of retirement, creating a faction-neutral organization of paladins to protect the world that ended up being some of the first responders against the Lich King during his eponymous expansion alongside the Ebon Blade. After helping in the boss fight against Arthas and being mostly-forgiven by the Alliance that cast him out, he then did fuckall for multiple expansions until Blizzard killed him to bribe straying players into staying with his shiny, special magic sword.

====The Ebon Blade====
Where Death Knights and other undead with free will go to safeguard the living and be totally goth about it.

* '''Bolvar Fordragon:''' The current Lich King; once the Lord Protector of Stormwind until Varian Wrynn recovered from his short but really fucking intense period as two people, he led the charge against the Lich King in Northrend. Things went tits up and he was nearly killed, kept alive by being engulfed in flames from a Red Dragon. Due to these wounds, he volunteered to take on the Helm of Domination after the Lich King was defeated, and held back the Scourge through sheer willpower until Shadowlands, where Sylvanas whooped him and broke his hat. Chill but incredibly emo guy.
* '''Thassarian:''' Incredibly bro-tier Death Knight and one of the few of their number to openly declare loyalty for one of the factions, here for the Alliance. Shares a Frenemy-type of relationship with his Horde counterpart, Koltira.
* '''The Four Horsemen:''' Because of course the undead army has four horsemen as its leaders.
** '''Nazgrim:''' Once a loyal general of the Horde, players killed him because of his loyalty to Garrosh Hellscream.
** '''Thoras Trollbane:''' A former lord of the destroyed human nation of Stromgarde.
** '''Sally Whitemane:''' The deceased leader of the Scarlet Crusade, a group of Light-worshipping, anti-undead fanatics. Since she had been manipulated by the Burning Legion, death actually made her much saner.
** '''Darion Morgraine:''' The leader of the Horsemen and the son of Alexandros Mograine, a famous Paladin.

====Aqir====
The first species native to Azeroth. They are a very numerous species of intelligent insectoids organized in casts who were in the very distant past subservient to the Old Gods and built a world spanning Empire under their guidance, until the Titans showed up and royally shat on their parade by locking their bosses away. After the titans left, their Empire was left weakened and was crushed in a great war with the Trolls. This lead to the Aqir hiding from the world in great underground burrows and being forgotten about for countless millennia, where the four largest splinter groups of the Empire eventually assumed own identities and started to deviate from the original Aqir quite significantly. Most of them still serve the Old Gods and are their footsoldiers.
*Aqir: Crabs, Crayfish and Lobsters. A portion of the original Aqir somehow survived the fall of their Empire and waited until the time was right to reemerge during the events of Battle for Azeroth, where they were revealed to be the Insectoids affiliated with N'Zoth.
*Qiraji: Scarabs and Locusts. The Qiraji are affiliated with C'Thun and hail from the deserts of Silithus. C'Thun taught them how to twist native insects from their homelands into monstrous sizes using dark magic, making them into Silithids, with which they tried once to take over the World from their Capital of Ahn'Qiraj and were barely stopped by the Night Elfs and the Bronze Dragonflight. Despite being sealed away by powerful magic, they could use their Silithid servants to dig large caverns under the seal and prepare a new assault on Azeroth, by the time this was discovered the Bronze Dragons and the Cenarion Druids assembled a large combined force of both Alliance and Horde heroes to break the seal, get into Ahn'Qiraj and kill C'Thun for good.
*Mantid: Mantisses, if you couldn't guess that by the name. The insectoids that used to be affiliated with Y'Shaarj in Pandaria. Their main deal is that they are brutal, unwavering warmongers for the sake of it, starting assaults against the rest of Pandaria every century or so to weed out the strong and smart of their very numerous offspring and, by their philosophy, to strengthen their civilizaion as a whole in this manner. They were caught in a tough spot when the Sha of Fear got released and possessed their Queen who as a result turned unaturally paranoid. This caused her to start the next invasion of Pandaria prematurely and, as the rest of the Mantid leadership, called the Klaxxi, doom their race since she sends more Mantid to die in pointless fights against the "lesser" races as they see it than they could replenish. Players interact with the Klaxxi quite a lot in Mists of Pandaria, who task them with keeping the Sha corruption at bay to save their race, only for the Klaxxi to double-cross the PC in the Siege of Orgrimmar.
*Nerubians: Spiders, mainly. They used to be affiliated with Yogg-Saron, but have long since forgotten about it because his seal was the only one to be kept intact and are now the only Aqir race to openly defy the Old Gods. They built a vast subterrenean Empire called Azjol-Nerub and were a very successful civilization. Unfortunately, the Lich King dropped right into their turf and has since subjugated them by the means of Necromancy and Genocide. As part of the scourge, they were the Lich Kings favored shock troops. A precious few Nerubians managed to escape the Scourges clutches and have since been trying to get their Empire back; by BFA it is strongly hinted that this succeeded, but they prefer to remain isolationist xenophobes that don't care a whole lot about what is going on on the surface.

====Other====
* '''The Lich King:''' One of Warcraft's better villains. Started off as a noticeably popular and powerful Orc chieftain called Ner'zhul. Being manipulated by Gul'dan and Kil'jaeden (in the guise of the spirit of his deceased smoking hot wife), was effectively responsible for the formation of the original Horde, genocide of the draenai and overall orcish subsequent fall into demonic servitude. However, after being exposed to the method of the manipulation by the real spirit of his wife, was horrified and ashamed of his actions and attempted to put an end to the events taking place... but ultimately succeeded only in warning Durotan and his Frost Wolves about it all, after being captured and tortured into submission by Gul'dan and his Shadow Council. Skipping to after the failure of orcish conquest of Azeroth, in which Ner'zhul had no participation, as per Gul'dan will, the gradually descending into madness from grief and anger old shaman was approached by Teron Gorfiend with a solution to the problem that plagued Ner'zhul these past years - orcs fighting each other while their world died around them - reformation of the Horde and creation of portals into many a world, ripe for conquest. Driven further still into madness by the skull of Gul'dan, acquired in the process, he, with some help, was able to do just that, which had an unintentional side effect of literally tearing Draenor asunder, and after entering one of the resulting portals, Ner'zhul suddenly found himself in the Twisting Nether, right in Kil'jaeden's hands. After some subjective eternity of torture, he was given another chance to serve the Burning Legion, lest he wished to remain demon's plaything for the rest of forever. He lost his body and was encased in a suit of armour (specifically - the Helm of Domination), frozen in a block of ice. With newfound telepathic powers and necromancy, he slowly built up an army of undead - his Scourge. However despite his agreement with Kil'jaeden, his hatred of the latter born of the previously described events, has driven him to covertly arrange to, successfully, undermine him. He also nabs himself a host by corrupting the spoilt prince and paladin Arthas in Warcraft 3 and then fusing their minds together. Then he builds up the Scourge to make his own bid for world domination until the players and paladin Tirion Fordring manage to defeat him. Then another much more bro-tier paladin decides to play out the greatest story never told and willingly becomes the new Lich King to keep the Scourge under control. tl-dr; He's Warcraft's answer to [[Nagash]], but with honor and compassion (yes, really!)

* '''Illidan Stormrage:''' Another one of Warcraft's long-running characters, a night elf turned elf-demon hybrid and brother of current Night Elf co-leader Malfurion Stormage. Originally a selfish trickster, Blizzard did some slipshod retcons to his back story ''after killing him off'' to try and make him a hero. This resulted in an edgy anti-hero, emphasis on edgy; at best he's rough around the edges at worst he gives Sylvanas a run for her money. He could serve as a cautionary tale about fan demand. All versions of his story share the following two traits: He's the younger brother of Malfurion Stormrage, and shared a crush on their childhood friend Tyrande Whisperwind. So how's his story go? Illidan lusted for power and studied Arcane magic, eventually becoming addicted. When Azshara decided that a Titan and his world-destroying demon army was just what Azeroth needed, Illidan signed on with the Burning Legion, but soon turned against them. He took some water from the Well of Eternity before it exploded, and after the resulting cataclysm made a new one. For risking the return of the demons and his apparent betrayal, Illidan was sentenced to life in prison (keep in mind he's immortal) while the Dragon Aspects fixed his mistake. Millennia later Tyrande freed him to get his help fightng the Burning Legion who had once again returned. Illidan, helped along by Arthas' suggestion, took in more demonic power to the point that his transformation was completed and used it to defeat a powerful demon Tichondrius. Horrified at Illidan's actions, his brother and Tyrande banished him. Later, Kil'jaeden contacted Illidan and commissioned him to kill the Lich King. Illidan accepting, enlisting several Naga into his service and raiding the Tomb of Sargeras but the Night Elves - including Illidan's former jailer Maiev - and some Blood Elves intervened. After trying to mend fences with his brother and Tyrande, Illidan fled to Outland - along with the Blood Elves who left the Alliance due to a genocidal racist human CO - to avoid Kil'jaeden's wrath, seeking to establish himself as a power there. But Kil'jaeden found him and gave him one more chance to kill the Lich King, which Illidan tried and failed to do thanks to the efforts of Arthas and the Scourge. Illidan retreated to Outland to lick his wounds and plan his next move, but a lack of communication with his followers meant several turned on him, and in the end he looked like a mad tyrant and was killed by the combined efforts of the player characters.
** Everything here is post-retcon; after getting curbstomped by the players Maiev threw what was left of him back in jail. Gul'dan steals Illidan's remains and tries to use them to resurrect Sargeras, but this plan is disrupted by Khadgar, the player characters, a naaru named Xe'ra and several class-related NPCs who restore Illidan's soul to his body. Illidan [[rip and tear|thanks Gul'dan for retrieving his body]] and joins the Adventurers in the Tomb of Sargeras where they [[Rip and tear|convince Kil'jaeden the Legion is a bad idea]]. Then he and his fan-club joins Velen, the PCs and an army of Light worshippers for a two-pronged attack on Legion HQ at Argus, arguing with Velen to pass the time. When they regroup on Argus, Illidan once again meets Xe'ra, who attempts to lightforge Illidan, but Illidan [[rip and tear|politely declines her offer]] and later invites himself to the Titans' intervention/group therapy for Sargeras so he can [[rip and tear|rehabilitate him]].
* '''Gul'Dan''': The settings resident Orcish [[Erebus]]. Irredeemable bastard that was the catalyst for almost all things wrong with the worlds of Draenor and Azeroth. Used to be a sickly, weak Orc cast out from his tribe until he was taken in by the Burning Legion and made into the first Warlock. While not as instrumental in the founding of the original Horde as Ner'Zhul, he and his secret society of Warlocks were for a long time the guys (and gals) secretly pulling the strings of the Hordes first Warchief Blackhand in service of his demonic masters. His deeds include: Leading the Orcs into demonic slavery by tainting them with fel magic, severing the Orcs connection with their home planet by corrupting its very soil, making life on Draenor unsustainable, therefore giving the final push for the first Hordes invasion of Azeroth, carrying out the Draenei Genocide on Kil'jaeden's orders in an effort to open the Black Portal on the Draenor side and tons of other shit. Like Erebus or Nagash from their respective settings, sociopathic and self-serving to an extreme degree, until it backfired when he attempted to find the Eye of Sargeras on the Broken Isles and bit off quite a bit more than he could chew. Came back as his past version in Warlords of Draenor to kickstart the last invasion of the Burning Legion and to re-purpose Illidan, which failed and subsequently saw his end.
* '''Medivh''': Human mage and the last of the order of the Guardians of Tirisfal. Held the title of the most powerful mage in existence and served (unbeknownst to him or the Alliance) as a sleeper agent posessed by none other than Sargeras himself. Under Sargeras influence, he opened the Dark Portal for the Horde to invade Azeroth for the first time and was seemingly killed by his close friend Anduin Lothar, later came back on some occasions as an omniscient prophet to warn the people of Lordaeron from the Scourge and impending Third War, however to no avail. Has been dropping in and out of the happenings of the world over the course of the entirety of the Warcraft universe. Appointed Khadgar as his successor. No one quite knows for sure even more what his motives are or even where he is.

===Classic===
The story of World of Warcraft begins four years after Warcraft 3's final campaign ends with the death of Admiral Daelin Proudmoore, after Orgrimmar has been established as the city of the modern horde. Stormwind's king is missing, with a paladin named Bolvar Fordragon and a woman named Katrana Prestor (oldfag Warcraft fans recognize the name immediately) ruling in his stead. The game's plot didn't really build toward a single story, rather most zones were independent with quite a few questlines leading you all over the world ten times over. Each race and faction had a story, which you stumbled into rather than being yanked by an invisible collar to. Many of the biggest in scale however were actually unfinished, ending seemingly in the middle of the plot (this was because several different writing teams worked on the game, and there were inter-department communication issues).

At the start of the storytelling, the Warcraft team gave two important things to rely on for creating content; the first was to avoid typical fantasy situations that make players feel very unimportant at the start like killing rats in sewers, and the second was a general direction for the storytelling. The Horde is a bunch of outcasts and former (with some present) sinners who must build a civilization from scratch and survive, while the Alliance was a group of strongly united allies who have fallen on hard times working to retake their hard-won territory from usurpers and to rebuild what's been lost. Each starting area sets up this feel along with giving players a strong incentive to continue onwards (other than Trolls and Gnomes who shared plots with Orcs and Dwarfs for the most part respectively) and the trend continued on until they found themselves saving the world and plumbing ancient sites of antiquity. The players are members of their faction's armed forces whose quests are oftentimes taking orders from members of their faction, or allied factions. Each class had quests beyond that which gave players a sense of place in the world; Warlocks straddled the line between control and their own destruction while increasing their power via risks and generally keeping their activities secrets from the populace, Shamans connected themselves to the world and sought deeper understanding of balance, Druids fought against the enemies of nature and attuned their spirits to the wild, Warriors tested themselves against powerful enemies, and even in professions players would undertake long and perilous journeys to learn another recipe to make a robot squirrel or fry an omelet. Players actually had to finish the plotline that lead into most dungeons before they could even enter them as well. The fact that many, many plots left very little explanation as to where to go or what to do required players to actually read any and all flavor text.

The initial buildup lead the plot in two directions. In the first, the king of Stormwind was kidnapped by the the Defias bandits, and in the meantime his son and the regent were being manipulated by the dragon villain Deathwing's daughter Katrana Prestor/Onyxia who had organized his kidnapping. He later finds his way back in a comic book. The quest to rescue him on Alcaz Island is never finished, leaving players wondering why he just showed up. In the second, a third of the Dwarf race (the original inhabitants of Blackrock Mountain, which has meant Orcs since Warcraft: Orcs and Humans) called the Dark Iron clan had started a three-way civil war over three hundred years ago and when they were losing had summoned the fire servant of the mysterious Old Gods named Ragnaros who incinerated their foes, fucked up their land until it was nothing but volcanoes and lava with animals made of fire, and turned their skin gray, hair black, and eyes red. They then worshiped him as a god. Players invade Blackrock Mountain in it's three wings, then the actual pit itself where Ragnaros regenerates himself for a war on the rest of the world. An unfinished plot point involved gaining favorship with his opposite, Neptulon of the water elementals (you gain the help in killing Ragnaros, but the politics and aftermath are ignored, even when Neptulon shows up later).

After that, Warcraft added giant corrupted dragons and Demons that randomly wander the world to kill.

Player VS Player content (other than grinding as fast as possible to the level cap of 60 and violently violating new players doing their very first quests in the game) was added, involving a capture the flag and king of the hill mode each that represented skirmishes breaking out between the Horde and Alliance (who were at an armistice after the end of Warcraft 3) in the home of the Night Elves due to Orcs building a whole fucking civilization needing more wood than their desert and prairie home provided, and a war between the Dwarves of Alterac Valley (devoid of humans since Warcraft 2) and the Frostwolf Orcs with the former having been there first and wanting to rediscover their past via archeology and the latter having settled there during Warcraft 2.

A further addition to Blackrock Mountain involved Onyxia's brother Nefarian who was in charge of the remaining Warcraft 2 Orcs in the mountain (and has sired incest babies with her due to the low numbers of the black dragons left alive). He was attempting to create a master race of dragons like his father wanted, although his methods included misunderstood blood transfusions, magical metal, and the general Frankensteining of dragon corpses.

Another battle location was added, Arathi Basin which featured battles between humans and undead from the same region over who had the rights to the farmland. It was accompanied by a new raid and plotline involving the Trolls of the jungles south of Stormwind, which were worshiping what was probably a servant of the Old Gods named Hakkar (this mention of which meant players would come to expect more Old God nonsense in each update, and be correct time and time again). Players were tasked by the most civilized race of Trolls, the Zandalar who come from an island in the ocean, to wipe out the Gurubashi tribe and the smaller tribes they'd absorbed. Hakkar required blood and soul sacrifice, and his followers had taken control of the Loas (gods) of the jungle.

More Dragons and Demons were added to the game, and soon after the first event began. In Gates of Ahn'Qiraj, players fought back against the unnatural insectoid worshipers of the Old Gods called Silithid who had been invading the rest of the world via their Starcraft Zerg style of spread. Sealed away in ancient times by the Night Elves and their natural allies (plus Dragons), the Gates needed to be opened with a magic hammer which had to be forged through a fucklong questline. After the gates opened, the Horde and Alliance as well as the Druids of the world battled back the insect threat which was represented by players server-wide completing quests of gathering supplies, then handing them over to NPC's. Upon the Gates being opened, the Ruins and Temple of Ahn'Qiraj raids were added. In Ruins, players fight the leadership of the Qiraji armies including their general and spiritual leader. In Temple, players descend to kill the source of the Silithid and finally the very wounded but recovering Old God named C'thun, who consists of eyestalks and tentacles surrounding a giant eyeball that shoots lasers inside a giant black pyramid hundreds of miles below the surface of a giant black pyramid. All of the above was hinted at, very vaguely, in the expansion pack to Warcraft 3 where the undead somehow got a hold of mysterious obsidian Egyptian statues that ate magic (from the insect people's northern spider-cousins).

After that, Naxxramas was added. Furthering the plot of Warcraft 3 with the Scourge, Naxxramas was the single greatest of the flying magical pyramids/castles the Scourge use as bases. It floated above the remains of Lordaeron's kingdom, not far from the capital city, and unleashed hell on the remaining defenders both living (crazy, sane, and asshole alike) and undead. Players venture inside and kill powerful creatures representing the Scourge forces in a War quarter containing the Death Knights and skeletons, a Spider quarter, a quarter dedicated to the spread of the Blight and general ickyness, and finally a quarter dedicated to the patchwork golems called Abominations. This was followed by a giant ice dragon skeleton boss, and finally the second-in-command of the Scourge, Kel'Thuzad.

The Dark Portal event ended Classic World of Warcraft and lead into Burning Crusade, as Demons spread throughout the world and invaded a fair number of zones at random. At launch, the Dark Portal became a swirling vortex again and Burning Crusade launched.

====Classic Relaunch====
For a long time many WoW oldfags have dreamt of the good ol' days of foot slogging and having adventures that actually forced you to pay attention lest you die to a monster five levels below you. A number of independent classic servers free to play and open to the public sprang up, such as Molten Core, Emerald Dream, Nostalrius, Elysium, Light's Hope and others in order to remedy that thirst. Some got the Blizzard banhammer for obvious reasons (not least because several of them starting selling services on their servers for cash) while others continue to persist, holding as true as possible to the original experience. While major gameplay experiences are typically the same in terms of leveling, looting, monster stats, etc. each server tends to enact their own small fixes in terms of balance and bugs that nevertheless deviate from that original Blizzard build.

At Blizzcon 2017, Classic WoW was finally announced as being a future thing, with a timeframe of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duke_Nukem_Forever "when it's done"]. This was accompanied by an insane amount of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO2YC0mYkAE applause, cheering, crying, screams of "OH MY GOD", shit-flinging, and possible Mountain Dew-fueled orgies], though only time will tell how well or how badly this implementation of "vanilla" WoW will play out. Expect lots of RAGE from newbies who were softened by the luxuries of modern-day WoW and can't even with the 1000 gold epic mounts and more.

A year later, at Blizzcon 2018, the release date was specified as being Summer 2019. As of the moment, Classic is already out, and only requires you to pay the $15 subscription fee, and the game itself is free. True to it's name, it starts when WoW was at it's earliest (albeit, the future technical improvements such as bug and glitch fixes, class balancing....etc, are already implemented), so unlike the current game: its a lot more slow-paced, unforgiving, and grindy: a true MMORPG experience straight out of the early 2000s. Past server-wide events that took place in old WoW will also be implemented down the line.

After release, WoW Classic has been considered a hit and a fan favourite, drawing in legions of resubbed players... for about a couple months. Predictably, the first to fall were the players spoiled rotten by the quality of life approach of modern WoW (AoE looting, not having to wait minutes between fights for your health to regenerate, traversing the world rather quickly etc.) and weren't prepared for the absolute grindfest ahead of them. Next to quit were old fans who realised that now, with full time jobs and/or families to take care of, grinding for hours just to access, let alone finish a dungeon wasn't sustainable if they wanted to keep taking care of these things. Finally, the playerbase - after almost two decades of playing Warcraft and facing more and more difficult challenges, have cleared in days the content that took weeks, if not months to finish in 2004. This split the playerbase in two: one part took it casually and attempted to clear the previously challenging content (seriously, one BfA boss encounter had more mechanics in it than the entirety of Molten Core) at their leisure, and the other went cuckoo about optimising every single aspect of their character builds, complete with farming buffs in the open world and hoarding world buffs, mostly given to characters present when somebody cashes in the head of a raid boss for a reward. The latter part eventually became prevalent, to the point of people making schedules of who is supposed to finish their quests when (and given those quests tended to give decent loot, that made everybody not next in the schedule majorly pissed) and flipped a gasket whenever someone popped one of those and didn't announce it. By the end of the "expansion" and when the Burning Crusade Classic was announced (because of course it was), the gameplay loop of a tryhard raider consisted of logging in for world buffs, heading to the zone in which it was awarded, waiting for it to be given out and then logging off to await either a next buff pop or the weekly raid. Thrilling gameplay. To prevent that, Blizzard later added an item that made world buffs not lose uptime and give their benefits until cancelled. So much for their promises of no changes.

There were some other less than desireable sideeffects that the Classic servers plagued as time went on; bot farmers that are very prevalent in other MMOs and had been nearly extinct in retail Wow due to Blizzard making in-game currency much more accessible over the years became a downright plight that destroyed any notion of a fair and balanced player driven economy with solid sources of money being much harder to come by (Repeatable Quests that gave gold weren't a thing until the Burning Crusade, and even in TBC they were largely limited to PvP and a large hub very late into the expansion, so the only ways to generate gold without interacting with the ingame economy was the finite supply of one-time quests and gruelling grinding). You could, at peak hours, see hundreds of bots running around in automated patterns in front of Dungeon entrances. Said bots created a lot of money that way, which, like the old days, were offered for real world money on dubious sites, a big no-no according to Blizzards TOS. Unlike in the OG days however, crafty players came up with a loot allocation system called GDKP (basically every raid becomes a big auction, where players would bid on items that dropped off bosses, a way to alleviate the awful loot systems of Vanilla Wow) where people who bought gold off these bots could not only easily launder their Dollar-bought ingame-money (the game lacks the technical means to track every transaction that happens between players) but effectively break one of the core tenets of Wow game design, namely that you would never be able to buy specific items with real money. Blizzard has proven repeatedly that they are either unable or unwilling to resolve these issues and even explicitly declared that GDKP was not against their Terms of Service, [[skub|a statement that was expectedly met with furious arguments.]] The bot epidemic has somewhat lessened over the course The Burning Crusade Classic, but Blizzards poor handling of a genuinely problematic situation soured the mood of the Classic community to a great degree.

Despite that, WoW Classic has seen reasonable success, enough to announce a re-release of the Burning Crusade (creatively called Burning Crusade Classic), and a re-release of "Vanilla" Classic, called Seasons of Mastery. What it means is that everybody starts from level 1 on new servers, with some changes implemented to make the experience different in theory. In practice, it was mostly the same. However, in a show of brilliance, [[FAIL|Blizzard forgot to turn realm transfers off for those worlds]], which meant people in full endgame gear absolutely decimating whole battlegrounds alone if they decided to pay and bring their OP mains to them.

Later, Blizzard also announced the release of Wrath of the Lich King Classic. Because of course they did.

===Burning Crusade===
BC was the first expansion of WoW and was centered around a couple of quasi-goat-alien creatures known as the "Draenei", a race of peaceful, holier-than-thou squid-faced goats who were devout to the Light but mutated whenever constantly exposed to Demon-energies. The other race was the "Blood Elves", a race of magically addicted, metro-sexual elves who crave magic like crack-whores. It also featured the Outland from Warcraft 3, which is the remnants of Draenor from Warcraft 2, which is a world of floating rock after a giant magic explosion caused by opening too many portals near each other ripped the planet apart. The game used a fair number of things from past Warcraft content, including heroes (and villains) from the RTS Warcrafts long since forgotten like Danath Trollbane and Kargath Bladefist.

When BC was released was when many players felt the loreraep came into play. <del> BC practically abused the lore, pinned it down, had dirty BDSM-themed buttsecks with it, and threw it aside like a used glove. </del> Draenei, previously the vaguely humanoid whale-faced tribal monsters from Warcraft 3 became "Eredar". "Eredar" went from being a race of demons who helped corrupt Sargeras into a race of magitek extraterrestrial tiefling-lookalikes weren't evil until Sargeras found them. Eredar were apparently not even early in the Legion's history (having not even been demons when the Legion was founded), but simply made themselves the ones in charge after joining due to being fuckstrong in magic and magiteck. Those Eredar who didn't sign on with Sargeras became Draenei, space Jews that split from their evil cousins as a subrace of Eredar that became 45% paladins, 45% priests and 10% shamans that learned magic from Orcs while the original mutated ones became mindless morlock mutant versions of the Draenei. Oh, and the anti-heroes from Warcraft 3 went mustache-twirling evil to justify villains who weren't the Legion (not like you don't fight a metric fuckton of them in the expansion anyway though), and a couple of them even signed on with the Legion (like Kael'thas, whose story was so badly messed up that Blizzard themselves apologized for it).

The game also become a lot more enjoyable with numerous aspects of the game revolving around points and badges, rather than raiding for gear your faction could never even use (paladin and shaman gear). Basically, re-tuned for <s>casualfags</s> normal people who have a life outside the game. That is, right up until you had to grind for your netherwing drake (sparkly former black dragons) because that shit takes months.
On the good side, with the previously faction-exclusive Paladin and Shaman classes now open, you didn't have to worry about doing raids and getting Paladin/Shaman gear as a Horde/Alliance character. You also had the magnificence of Draenei <del>horsecock</del> booty shaking, and a simple way to track who the tryhards in the game were; they were the ones playing Barbie elves.
Oh, and you could FLY. That alone was a huge deal back then.

The plot began with the two new races; Draenei, a mostly-extinct race, were attacked by Blood Elves (the ones you played back in Warcraft 3) because...reasons, and took their...one of their five magical flying crystal castles called the Exodar (okay, not a TERRIBLE idea since the same thing was used a fair amount in the 80's where Chris Metzen got stuck developmentally) in which they'd been hiding from the Orcs in since the Orcs tried to genocide them (being so successful they managed to pave a road halfway across the world two-columns wide with their bones), and flew it away. Actually, the castles belonged to the Naaru and the Draenei were hiding in a swamp, but it was theirs in the initial drafts and nothing says how they got from the swamp to the ship. As the Blood Elves slaughtered the fuck out of everyone like SS in Paris, the ship careened out of control and ended up above Azeroth. The ship continued careening across the majority of the planet until it finally crashed onto a small island off the coast of the Night Elf home. The Draenei set about finishing off the invading Blood Elves, then cleaning up the environmental effects of their ship crash (which includes riding elephants for some reason), which earned them the respect of the hippie elves and an invitation to join the Alliance despite the fact they looked like Demons and explained the fucking Burning Legion is lead by their distant cousins (it helped that the Draenei are the Eredar who turned down Sargeras' offer to join the Buring Legion and have been fighting them even more than the Night Elves have). Meanwhile, the Blood Elves who stayed in the ruins of Silvermoon get in contact with the Forsaken to join the Horde because they need allies to survive until the rest of their race rejoin them and bring back whatever vague "salvation" was hinted at by their prince. To sustain their racial addiction to magic, they have been suckling at the blood and energy of captive Demons while controlling the citizenry, who need to keep themselves focused at all times or they'll devolve into Elf Ghouls that chew on magic wands just to suck out the last bit of magic, with propaganda and more than a little bit of mind control when someone gets uppity. As Blood Elves have lost their connection to the Holy Light, Kael'thas had (shortly after the end of Warcraft 3, and as we find out shortly after attacking the Draenei) sent Silvermoon City a gift of a strange living being made of light named M'uru, who the Blood Elves also drained to utilize holy magic again.

The plot kind of goes on hold as new Draenei and Blood Elves go about experiencing original content as if they had been there all along (an awkwardness that would continue in each expansion), until reaching Classic level cap (60). There, they are directed to the Dark Portal which has JUST reopened (despite quite a bit of time passing for Draenei and Blood Elf players) after it opened for some reason (a demon used an artifact to open it, but the artifact was never mentioned, instead, his minion leads a counterattack to find an unrelated sword that was never mentioned again). Demons have streamed out, so the Horde and Alliance have pushed in and rejoined their long lost kin from Warcraft 2.

You reach a continent called Hellfire Peninsula best described as the surface of Mars, but with green fire and lava everywhere. After a brief skirmish, the old Alliance and new Horde come to a ceasefire in order to deal with the Demons. Players muck about for a bit here, coming into conflict with birdmen called Arakkoa who are apparently users of shadow magic which is all the explanation you need that they're bad, kill a lot of Demons and the mutated wildlife, and probably get stepped on five or six times by the giant Demon robot that wanders the zone. The Horde learn that the natural Orc skin color is actually brown after meeting a small group of tribal isolationist Orcs, and the green skin that's always been seen so far is the result of Demonic taint which carries generation to generation. The bulk of the zone fighting is against "Fel Orcs", which you come to find out are Orcs which have suckled the blood of a very powerful Demon players beat as Illidan back in Warcraft 3 named Magtheridon to mutate even further than their green-skinned red-eyed kin into hulking brutes with red skin and spikes painfully sticking out of their bodies. The area is home to a massive fortress players assaulted back in Warcraft 2 called Hellfire Citadel, containing multiple wings (Ramparts to the fortress, a lab where they inject Orcs against their will with Demon blood, the garrison within where you kill their leader Kargath, and finally the room where the Demon is kept as a raid where you kill him once and for all).

Players are then lead to Zangarmarsh, a giant mushroom swamp hearkening back to Warcraft 2 where giant mushrooms were everywhere and you harvested them for lumber. If you had gotten sick of the colors red and green, you're in for a treat; everything is now blue and yellow for the next several weeks of your life! Players meet mushroom men called Sporeggar who look like mushroom Gnomes and are about as capable of defending themselves as the Polish. They also reconnect with the Druid organization which has for some reason decided to defend the animals of this world too. Like the last zone, the player spends most of the area killing wildlife without much progress towards the main plot other than "you were here". Horde players find that the Trolls have established a town for the purpose of hunting, and the Alliance find some Draenei who built a small town on top of one of the giant mushrooms to hide from the Orcs. The main plot involves the Naga of Warcraft 3, who have drained most of the water out of the surrounding area to make themselves a giant steam-powered underwater facility because...reasons. To control water supplies. Really. One dungeon against plant monsters within the steam machine, one against the slavers taking captive mutated Draenei, and one against the garrison of Naga leading to the raid where players kill Lady Vashj.

After that, players find themselves in Terokkar Forest. Filled with more animals to kill, and the Arakkoa make a reappearance (as well as a few friendly ones that fled from their kin, with still little to no explanation as to why either group behave the way they do). The players meet back up with the members of their faction who are actually trying to get shit done with the Blood Elves and Humans having both established towns to strike at some evil Orcs in the area. Also in the zone, two giant mostly-destroyed Draenei cities. Auchindoun being a giant Draenei mausoleum city full of their ghosts, which thanks to the mucking about of the Orcs back in Warcraft 2 was filled with Demons. A few years earlier, it had blown up for no known reason (except the sound god they summoned, but the area was there before that, so whatever) leaving a giant ash and bone strewn waste around it. Inside are four dungeons, one being fighting against insane Draenei priests and ghosts, one against...energy mummies who are interested in commerce, one against Arakkoa in which you collect relics of a mysterious god-king named "Terokk" to prevent his resurrection which would apparently be a bad thing, and finally a wing against Demons and Demon worshipers. The second Draenei city is Shattrath, which was retaken from the Orcs by Draenei not long ago. An army of Blood Elves were dispatched to take it from them, but after receiving a vision of the future their prince was leading them to they swore loyalty to the Sha'tar, the Naaru (giant angelic living runes made of pure light) who guard the city. Shattrath was the first in a long tradition of a single city where Horde and Alliance both use, with a buff preventing them from fighting each other within the city (although not preventing rude emotes). Players pick between two factions, the Blood Elf Scryers or the Draenei Aldor to grind rep with representing a political divide in the city. No matter your choice, you still work on reputation with the Lower City refugees of all races from Dwarf to Arakkoa, and the Sha'tar defenders of the city. At level cap, after learning to fly in Outland, players could access cliffs where Arakkoa have set up a city and attempt to do vague shadow magic which is a threat to Shattrath for reasons, slaughtering the fuck out of them every day and bombing their village to earn enough reputation to buy a pet, a mount, and cosmetic tabard (great life lesson).

Players then progress to Blades Edge Mountains, the dominant feature of which is giant dead Dragons impaled on giant spikes everywhere. Also, more volcanoes and some forest. The area is mostly populated by Ogres, which players discover are actually the devolved kin of giants called Gronn, the first of which was a mountain that came to life (no explanation given beyond that) named Gruul which players kill in a raid. Alliance sees their own Druid forces take an interest in the wildlife, while the Horde gets the bulk of the story as they reconnect with the lost Thunderlord Clan, which is now lead by the old Warcraft 3 favorite Rexxar. At level cap, players can access a mountain range where the minds of the Ogres have been uplifted by mysterious Apexis Crystals. Calling themselves "Ogri'la", they seek to bring the Ogre race to Nirvana. Players get involved in the action by collecting large bunches of the crystals by killing everything that moves, then either using them to bait down large monsters to kill or by playing a game of Simon on mysterious ancient devices where you get electrocuted if you fuck up. The energy mummy Ethereals are also here, because reasons.

Players then progress to Netherstorm, resembling a giant purple Hellfire Peninsula but with lightning instead of lava. Once again, you will hate the color by the time you're done. Here players take their missions either from Goblins who have established a town called Area 52 dedicated to launching rockets and having Men In Black Goblins wiping your memories periodically (if you don't take a flying mount in anyway), and Ethereals which have set up "Eco Domes" and created jungles within because reasons although players finally learn some of the backstory of the Ethereals; creatures of the void called Voidwalkers (which Warlock players use as their damage-taking pet) destroyed their home planet ages ago, and only by becoming beings of pure energy could they survive and thanks to all the magic everywhere have taken an interest in Outland. Most of the fighting (that isn't mutant animals) is against the Blood Elves of Kael'thas, which by now you have found out are up to something shadowy and against the interests of Shattrath and the Horde/Alliance. At the culmination of the zone is another set of grouped dungeons and a raid, which are the four floating crystal castles (the Exodar was the fifth in the set). One is Blood Elves with a botanical garden growing abominations with magic for reasons, the second is a giant prison for Demons and other monstrosities, and the third is a garrison full of Demons and Blood Elves. In the raid, players find that Kael'thas has separated himself from Illidan (although both are utilizing Demons and have the plan of wiping out everyone else, Kael'thas has apparently decided that Illidan's plan is stupid and has relied more on magitek to...do all of jack shit other than siding with the Burning Legion itself over Illidan and his rebellion against it). Players kill him. You may have noticed by now that most of Outland follows a pattern.

Players then hoof it to Nagrand, which by polls from Blizzard was proven to be the best zone in the entire game according to the player base. Looking mostly like Africa except with floating rocks and beams of magic in the sky, Nagrand is home to the bulk uncorrupted Orcs called the Mag'har. Thrall travels to Outland and sees how his people once lived, and while there meets a whiny little emo kid named Garrosh that players have been trying to cheer up. Thrall, after finding out Garrosh is the son of Grom Hellscream, takes him back to Azeroth and appoints the sad crying hunter boy to be a member of his cabinet. Meanwhile, the Alliance quest for a group of Draenei in a city called Telaar. The zone continues the tradition of fighting Orcs, Ogres, animals, Demons, and Ethereals on behalf of other Ethereals as apparently the GIANT diamond ship the Draenei first used to reach Draenor, the Oshu'gun, draws Voidwalkers and enterprising Ethereals like a magnet. In the center of the map is a ruined Draenei city on a hilltop surrounded by cliffs called Halaa, which Horde and Alliance fight over for...reasons.

The final zone is Shadowmoon Valley, the place where the original Orc Warlocks originated. The entire land is dark gray/black and green with molten green lava on almost every surface. Kurdran Wildhammer, the Warcraft 2 crazy Dwarf riding a gryphon, runs the Alliance garrison in the area while the Horde are a newly established site. Demons and mutated wildlife are almost the entirety of the zone, with evil Blood Elves making up the last bit. The area is full of Draenei ruins as the bulk of their race once lived there. Scryers and Aldor both have towns in the area, and fight against the Blood Elves loyal to Illidan. In the southeast, a floating rock is home to a race of Dragons which were the mutated eggs left by Deathwing in Warcraft 2 which were cleansed of their "Always Chaotic Evil" curse as well as mutated by the magic radiation bathing the land. These "Netherwing Drakes" represent the single longest grind most players would undertake, doing multiple daily quests and hunting for their eggs to return for reputation in order to earn some as mounts. In the easternmost part of the zone is the Black Temple, once the Draenei equivalent to the Vatican which was taken over by Orc Warlocks when the genocides began and has since become the single most evil place anyone could visit, with the golden crystals turning black from pure evilness. Here Illidan has made his palace, and has given fully into insanity. Players undergo a long quest chain, starting with Akama and Maiev Shadowsong from Warcraft 3, and ending in gaining access to the temple via a broken hole in the courtyard where players slip in while the Sha'tar and a Naaru bolstered by both Aldor and Scryter battle the endless waves of Demons as a distraction. Beginning in the sewers, players slaughter their way through the remaining Naga, then wipe out the command of the remaining Fel Orcs from behind, and make their way into the temple where the kill the reborn Teron Gorefiend as well as a harem full of succubi and inebriated Blood Elves, finally working their way up to Illidan himself where players kill him. Logically, this would be the end of the expansion; all of the main villains dead, every single plot thread explored and finished.

Blizzard then released one addition; a zone existing north of Silvermoon was added, Sunwell Plateau consisting of an island full of Blood Elf buildings plus the building containing the Sunwell. The Blood Elves of Kael'thas regrouped and attacked the Well, slaughtering all of their player-faction Blood Elf kin they met and stole M'uru along the way. Here they seek to summon Kil'jeaden into the world through the Well, effectively fucking over Azeroth in it's entirety; all in a bid to save the Blood Elves loyal to him from what he sees as inevitability by signing up with the guys who wrecked his homeland and messed his people up in the first place (full-retard reliant storytelling). The Aldor and Scryers finally unite into one faction, the Shattered Sun Offensive, and fight to take back the Sunwell. Each day players would complete daily quests, and each contributed towards an unlock point where players would take more and more of the city, eventually pushing the Demons back to the Sunwell itself. A dungeon on the island contained more Demons and Blood Elves, the final boss of which was none other than the partially undead Kael'Thas himself. After his defeat (whereupon he apparently used magic to trick players into thinking they'd CUT OFF HIS FUCKING HEAD AND PRESENTED IT TO THE SHA'TAR) he wound up with magical crystals embedded in his body, keeping him barely alive. Players kill him again, permanently this time, then move onto the raid. After fighting your way through a metric fuckload of Demons and Blood Elves, players come to the Sunwell room proper. The plot that follows is completely reliant on a Warcraft manga that had wrapped up not long before, where [[What|the Sunwell energy had formed into a human girl named Anveena with amnesia who fell in love with the crown prince of the Blue Dragons Kalecgos]]. Players fight M'uru, who was drained so much of his magic that he reversed polarity and became a being of pure darkness instead of light. Upon entering the Sunwell chamber, players find Anveena suspended in midair. Kil'jeaden claws his way through the portal and his upper half fights the players (one can't help but imagine his army on the other side of the portal watching his legs flop about as he fights) before they defeat him and he is pulled back through the Sunwell. The girl sacrifices herself to once again become the Sunwell, which is purified by the leader of the Draenei Velen and the leader of the Blood Elf Blood Knight Paladins Lady Liadrin by adding what remains of M'uru to it, making it both a source of holy and magical magic (arcane is the generalized unflavored magic of the setting). Thanks to being bathed in magic once again, the Blood Elves no longer drink from Demons and the Demonic taint is burned from them thanks to the holy magic of the Sunwell (although they keep the green eyes, as apparently that's permanent; note that the Orcs kept their green skin). Both races kiss and make up, then none of this is ever mentioned again except in one quest chain for a fucking magic sword later that just kind of goes "yeah, that happened" as Blizzard mainly focuses on the new groups before reverting back to Orcs and Humans being the main characters of the setting.

Of course, there was a side diversion where in the old Warcraft world the "Caverns of Time" was opened in which players were sent by the Bronze Dragonflight (guardians of time) to go back in time to important events in disguise and prevent shadowy mysterious Dragons from mucking up time. Thrall's initial escape from the Humans, Medivh opening the Dark Portal, and finally the big climactic Warcraft 3 battle where the Night Elves, Alliance, and Horde fight the Burning Legion.

Maiev Shadowsong becomes free again in the aftermath of the expansion and appears to have schizophrenia as she spends half her time teamkilling and half her time thinking about teamkilling.

The plot continues in a comicbook series (western this time, although really REALLY shitty) when the king of Stormwind named Varian Wyrnn came back and acted like a whiny little bitch causing there to be tension between the two factions when they had already done everything except SIGN a fucking treaty (A trade agreement consisting of lumber and food from the alliance for ore and exotic goods from the horde specifically. It's seriously that fucking simple apparently to have world peace). In the time between Nagrand and this, Garrosh has completely abandoned his weepy persona and has instead become a roid-rage dick who spends half his time openly criticizing his leader in front of foreign dignitaries, who he greets by telling them they are inferior to Orcs and threatening them if they don't line up to lick the boots of Orcs. Despite this, Thrall just shrugs his behavior off.

In another post-expansion patch, the giant tower of Medivh (guy who kickstarted the entire plot of Warcraft off) which exists as a giant mindfuck of magic temporal anomalies and undeath was added to the game as a raid. Inside players fight ghosts, Demons, Ethereals, and numerous other things before reaching the top of the tower which instead of leading to the top of the tower leads to the fucking asteroid void of evil where the Burning Legion makes their home. Yikes. Hints existed that like Castlevania, there was a second inverse tower underneath the first one (this was in one of the novels, but in-game the final boss is in the aforementioned fucking asteroid void of evil which the top of the tower overlaps with). Similarly, there was a creepy as shit crypt out back which players could bug their way into (usually exploring a bit before receiving a big fat ban for breaking the rules) although it was never implemented.

The expansion ended with a lead in event to Wrath of the Lich King (which was covered in the comics as well) where the giant floating pyramids of death used by the undead appear outside of racial capitals and spew undead (as well as a zombie plague that affected players). Eventually, the king of Stormwing rides a gryphon and crashes the one outside his city while Thrall (pissed his duel for leadership of the Horde with the uppity Garrosh was interrupted) simply throws the Doomhammer at it causing it to blow up. Both factions remember who the main villain of the setting has been built up to be. The Alliance sends Bolvar Fordragon, the regent in charge of the city while Wyrnn was away that players remember fondly for being the guy to turn in those fuckhard dailies to in Classic while for some reason Thrall appoints Garrosh to a position of authority over the Horde forces (alongside the Horde's Bolvar equivalent, Varok Saurfang). Que Wrath.

===Wrath of the Lich King===
WotLK was the second expansion of WoW and centered around the North po....I mean Northrend, tons of undead gubbins, Norse mythology, and Death Knights.

Follows the main plot of Warcraft 3 when the Scourge, sick of the Legion and random fucking jungles in the middle of nowhere getting all the attention, attacks both Stormwind and Orgrimmar by releasing another undead plague and using giant flying castles (which in the comics are killed by one fucking gryphon, and Thrall getting pissed and throwing a hammer at it). Both factions then remember who the main bad dude of Warcraft is (With the Burning Legion dead or MIA and the Old Gods still a footnote in lore, Arthas) and invade Northrend. But along the way, a new fuckwad son of Grom that Thrall met in Outland was promoted to a fucking command post, and he immediately attacked the Alliance which at that point was pretty on board with the Horde...which is another retard ball when you realize your captured humans never re-appear or get ransomed. (Read below for what happened)

Then, after players manage to get everything important done FOR the entire armies of their faction (which consists of 70% humans/orcs and 29% dwarfs and trolls and 1% everyone else except the Draenei and Night Elves, the latter pretty much sit in the corner and hum quietly). The main two leaders of the horde and alliance forces (the son of a very important and popular horde character, Varok Saurfang, and good old Bolvar Fordragon) call a truce and try to take the Lich King on themselves. This goes about as well as one would expect, with Arthas curbstomping Saurfang JR without much build up then making it clear he's about to kill the shit out of two whole armies for lulz. Then a group of Forsaken attack both sides, teamkilling everyone. And that just is the tip of the shit iceberg the Forsaken have been cooking to the detriment of both sides.

Wrynn, invading the Undercity, realizes the horrid truth when he sees human prisoners, who disappeared in captivity all these years had been tortured, experimented on and used as meat and disease resources, and attacks the city while Thrall is told by Sylvanas "Yeah, we did a lot of evil shit you told us not to do and it's biting us in the ass, we need halp plox ty". Wrynn sees the massively fucked up shit that the Forsaken have been doing, and declares war on the Horde while Thrall stands there wondering why his faction is so fucked up. (Hint: Sylvanas and her fucked up snuff surgeons might have a hand in that.)

Then come a subplot that eats up about six months of player's lives where you find out that Titans created Dwarfs and Gnomes, and viking giants named vrykul who are the ancestors to humans, as robots to help them keep the natural races of the world (mostly trolls, plus a group that mutated and became the first elves; night elves) in line. Then Cthulhu monsters (which before were just some minor thing not really important to the plot) made them fleshy for reasons and the robots forgot their entire purpose and started having sex and building castles instead. Then you kill another Old God locked in the Titan city Ulduar (one of Warcraft's most well-loved raids) made of mouths and tentacles, this one being responsible for apparently most of the bad shit that's happened in the world. Here's where most fans agree the lore rape really starts to pop in as a result.

Then another detour where you help establish a jousting tournament right outside the Lich King's castle. Yeah. That goes about as well as you'd expect.

Then, you finally help the Death Knights and Paladins of the world kill the Lich King...nah, not really. Turns out he was baiting you along the whole time trying to lure the best and brightest in the world directly to his doorstep to make a new generation of Death Knights capable of fucking EVERYTHING. Oh, but then Tirion Fordring (a character important to a Classic WoW questline, and had two books involving him from the Warcraft 2 era) gets empowered by the light, goes all 'DEUS EX MACHINA!' and breaks Frostmourne. The newly-freed spirits rebel and weaken him to the point that the players can deal a finishing blow. Arthas's father forgives him for killing him, then he dies. Meanwhile, MASSIVE amounts of undead that apparently Arthas was holding back on using for reasons are still around for no reason. Your friend and mine Bolvar Fordragon, charred to a crisp and barely alive/undead, puts the helmet on and condemns himself to a personal hell of keeping those undead from doing anything forever.

Players then fuck off back home, with the Death Knights keeping vigil in case Lich King Bolvar turns evil. [[Derp|However, expanded lore stated that Lich King Arthas' body and the pieces of Frostmourne mysteriously went missing, along with the phylactery of his right-hand Lich, Kel'Thuzad, who's the Smithers to Arthas' Mr Burns... in a plot thread that Blizzard has left hanging]].

Wrath continued the badge/point system introduced in TBC, and ''would have been'' one of the best expansions for fixing many of the problems in Burning Crusade (primarily HUGE amounts of grinding and availability of gear), if it hadn't gotten rid of the original versions of Naxxramas and Onyxia's Lair and all the sweet-looking armor and weapons that dropped from them, especially Corrupted Ashbringer.

The expansion was notable for doing something not seen before in an MMO where it would have the main villain appear through the main story to make it look like the player was making progress in defeating him prior to the final raid against him. While this worked in most players eyes, it also pretty well de-fanged the Lich King as a threat since all his appearances had him getting driven off or defeated and just shrugging instead of vaporizing you on the spot (something he does to his own minions literally standing RIGHT next to you for the price of failure), sometimes because of him being uncharacteristically dumb, and supposedly this was all part of some master plan to use the heroes that fight him the raid as new champions, even though the plan involved sacrificing a bunch of powerful minions he already had that could have killed the heroes if he sent them all after them at once. Then again, since undeath is his M.O, after reanimating the heroes as his new champions he could've brought back those powerful minions the heroes killed as well. After all, he apparently does bring back Anu'barak (one of his lieutenants from Warcraft 3 and leader of the undead spider-people) ,an old dungeon boss as a raid boss so it's clearly something he can do.

Whatever.

===Cataclysm (Otherwise Known as TRYING TO BE "World of Warcraft 2")===
[[File:El Presidente.jpg|thumb|right|300px|The world is partially destroyed, 1/5 of the city is sent into the ocean while on fire, the front gates are fucked halfway to hell, all of the forces of evil are trying to end the world in different ways, the entire world is at war with itself again, but the Alliance managed to build a bridge and put up a statue of the king.]]
Cataclysm is the third expansion of WoW and centered around the <del>revival of a brood of EEEEEEVVVIL dragons known as the Black Dragonflight</del> the return of the black dragons' big daddy: Deathwing; a business SO FUCKING serious that said returning [[Exterminatus|tore the Classic continents apart]]... Or at least that was the excuse to revamp the "Old World" and try to make questing easier, and update the plot so you aren't reliving everything from Classic WoW every time you roll a new character.

The main plot of this expansion was that the Twilight Cult, who appeared in every expansion as some crazy cultist fucks worshiping the Old Gods, have finished healing another very important villain from Azeroth's past (for all the information about him, and his defeat, refer to an external novel; seriously, Warcraft by this point had made a habit of making the gameplay more in-game, while driving the setup for in-game plot into novels and comics). Deathwing then fucked up magnets in the Elemental Plane of Earth pissing off the main earth elemental Therazane, brought back Ragnaros from the Elemental Plane of Fire to fuck the world for lulz, and involved the Naga in their bid to take over the Elemental Plane of Water from Neptulon, the poppa water elemental. Also the Elemental Plane of Air guy Al'akir was there for some reason. He never really got much plot.

Players then drag their ass all over the world again, from the bottom of the sea to ancient Egypt populated by cat-taurs (not even joking), many of whom turned evil because they want to be robots (again, not making this up). You visit Mount Hyjal (meaning Blizzard finally remembered the Night Elves, as Hyjal's their turf and Ragarnos popped up there with plans to turn the World Tree into kindling to burn Azeroth), which is awesome, then visit the Twilight Highlands, which is even MORE awesome since it brought the Wildhammer Dwarfs (crazy CRAZY shirtless gryphon riders) and Dragonmaw Clan (crazy CRAZY grey-skinned dragon riding Orcs) into the game.

You fight a shit ton of elemental monsters, Twilight Cultists, Lovecraftian beasts, and dragons leading up to Deathwing himself. Also, a detour (which is fine for once since it <del>involves Trolls, and Warcraft Trolls are awesome</del> ties into an ongoing plot for once).

Thrall gives up Warchief-hood, but becomes an even bigger Mary Sue in the process by becoming the savior of the world. He decides to put that fuckhead son of Grom, Garrosh, in charge for reasons (apparently it's because the horde is mostly full of jackass racist Orcs, and Garrosh was the only non-old Orc he trusted). Garrosh proceeds to turn the end of the world into one giant war against the Alliance where he begins somewhat noble and wanting more land for Orcs (though said land belongs to the Night Elves), and quickly goes into baby-eating insane when he imposes martial law, going from "get more land for orcs" to "kill all Night Elves".

The game also brought two new races into the game. Worgen, werewolves that are humans half the time and speak in a Cockney accent, and Goblins (long demanded by fans), who push that even further and have essentially a toxic wastedump of a racial home covered in neon signs, rockets, cars and giant robots everywhere. Surprisingly, this isn't lore rape so much as it is a complete sidetrip into comedy (it was still considered one of the best parts of the expansion by fans however, with MANY angry that the Worgen and Goblin plots, like the Draenei and Blood Elves before them, simply stop in favor of more Human/Orc bullshit).

In the end, you kill Deathwing and severely cripple another Old God who never shows whatever passes for its face (if it has one). The Dragon Aspects relinquish their demigod powers to mortals, with Thrall becoming the new Aspect of Earth, pretty standard "the magic goes away so now mortals have to fend for themselves" trope. He also gets married and becomes a father. Yay, that was sure important.

Now all that said, Deathwing does manage to be the threat the Lich King should have been. His appearances have the NPCs of note trying all failing to kill him throughout the story and prior to the patch that introduced the raid where you kill him, he would randomly show up in the sky and autokill everything in an entire region of the world in flames.

Thanks to all of the revamping (removing one-sided hills and broken textures in areas players weren't meant to go) you could finally fly in the "old world", something players had wanted since Burning Crusade.

It made the game more challenging (until <del>the dreaded patch 4.2.0, which took the game's difficulty straight to hell, hell being piss-easy and brainless grind tailored for mouthbreathers. Remember gearscore? THAT'S the kind of retardedness I am talking about...and I don't want to even mention patch 4.3.0...</del> patch 4.2.0 which broke down the barriers keeping players who spend all day on the game from reaching the level of players who do not by streamlining class mechanics and implementing the ability to simply queue for dungeons rather than actually have to find a group for them). Excellent expansion for the MOST casual of players, whose mindset is simple enough to withstand mindless grinding in the same <s>six</s> TWO instances day after day for months, doing the same daily quests over and over, watching those same bots in the auction house cut out your auctions over and over without Blizzard ever responding to your reports, and playing those two new battlegrounds to the point of madness...

Unfortunately, as great as some of the newer features were, Blizzard ran into a BIG snag; by spending the time of the devs working only on the revamped Old World, they only ended up with a small amount of endgame content which reused assets as much as possible along with a big update-less gap where players simply continued the same course of action (same few dungeons and dailies) for months. Many players disliked the new plots, and wanted to replay the content they knew and loved. Furthermore, playing a new character and feeling like a new part of the world was great until level 58 where they suddenly went back in time to Outland, and back in time to Northrend at level 68. Many fans considered Cataclysm as the worst expansion as a result not of actual mistakes, but of dropping the ball on content so badly. Later, Warlords of Draenor would show everyone what a REAL fuck-up looked like, and make everyone realize that Cataclysm was actually not that bad.

===Mists of Pandaria===
The fourth expansion for WoW, Alliance fans regard it as the best thing to happen to it since Burning Crusade, Horde fans regard it as the shit that killed <strike>the game</strike> the plot of the game, even they agree the content was dope. Turned the game slightly less easy and ensured the complete death of [[SWTOR|Star Wars: The Old Republic]] and [[Warhammer Online]], leading to even more rage from nerds and neckbeard hipsters who hated the popular thing.

The continent of Pandaria was surrounded by mists for ages, which just decided to part a few months after Deathwing was killed. This place is full of drunken, happy, jumpy, fat-arse panda people, which are a playable race consequently leading to every goddamn furry who plays to spend $25 to race change on release so they can stare at a fat jiggly arse while their character engages in the horrid ritual of Caramelldansen. Alongside these disgusting creatures live some magic fish people (who are re-skinned Wood... Night Elves, and plot-wise are the evolved form of those annoying fish monsters that have been raping your corpse since your first day playing Classic WoW), talking monkeys that are obsessed with feces, rabbits who have replaced those annoying fish monsters in the exact same role that like carrots but not turnips for some reason, Lizardme.. err..."Sarlok"-I mean "SAUROK"-who kill and torture shit for fun, some race of all-male statue dudes called Mogu (except for two females hidden in a raid where you kill their leader Lei Shen, who stole titan power and used lightning to become God-Emperor of the Mogu) that like to torture pandas because they're ANOTHER RACE OF TITAN ROBOTS who are gigantic douchebags because they were supposed to be Robocops but lost the plot and became ED-209s, some unimaginative AZN style dragons, and yet another Tauren reskin.

While the whole thing was certainly more interesting than it sounded, with the storylines actually bringing players in to a degree not seen since Classic WoW, many players were left pining for high resolution models that Blizzard teased would come (as the face of the Pandaren female had as many polygons and moving parts as the entire Human model did).

While in Pandaria you find out that the place has an infestation of these Sha monsters which appear as black and white smoky-tar skeletons, which manifest in negative emotions. Stub your toe and next thing you know a bunch of black and white crawly bitches will be flying out of you and ripping up your shit. You find out quickly that they are the mortal remains of the only Old God that was ever killed prior to Classic WoW, and kill each of the papa emotions (pride, fear, anger, doubt, hatred, despair, [[Skub|and violence; which is not an emotion as Spite or Malice would've made a better sha and with a T-for-teen rating Blizzard wouldn't make a Sha of Lust and change the others so they could go for a 'seven deadly sins' reference]]) which results in mostly having finished off the still-living corpse of Y'Shaarj. The Horde and Alliance are at full out war by the end, and you the player are manipulated by the last surviving black dragon (who Blizzard flat out said is meant to be morally gray and neutral, and something of a mob boss personality. Way to let your players figure shit out of their own Blizzard).

Garrosh changes characterization for no reason aside from shitty reason and steals up the heart of an Old God and fucking up a huge amount of Pandaria just to for the sake of a shitty plot. After spending the entire leveling experience committing warcrimes for Garrosh, the Horde player revolts against him for no given reason, with the Alliance joining along as an ally in the crappy civil war. You massacre a very large chunk of the Orc population (which has massacred a large chunk of the rest of the Orcs) before defeating Garrosh himself.

Vol'jin, the old fan favorite Horde leader, is appointed the new Warchief while the Alliance (who's king had a huge chunk of plot development to become not as much of an asshole at the cost of good ol'Jaina Proudmoore flipping her shit and damn near starting an anti-Orc KKK while Night Elf military leader Tyrande Whisperwind somehow forgets her thousands of years of military experience to become purple Leeroy Jenkins with boobs) finally suggests peace between the two factions again. Of course we know that won't last, since they forgot that old lumber for tiger pelt agreement they had way the fuck back when.

Wrathion is FURIOUS, as he wanted the Alliance to crush the Horde then admit its leaderless races into its ranks to become one faction. He flies off, saying he will be more direct next time. Then players get sidetracked to visit an island that exists outside time to...fuck around. Kill shit, get loot. Like Valhalla, kind of.

The plot continues in a book (you were doing SO good there Blizzard...) in which the Horde and Alliance try Garrosh for war crimes (despite the fact that more redeemable villains, such as Nazgrim, were killed for less, and let's not even start with Sylvanas...). Garrosh is then given a time amulet you the player helped forge on the Timeless Island by a dragon who likes experimenting with time magic because reasons. He uses it to go back in time, and sideways into an alternate universe, where he prevents the Orc race (specifically his own father) from joining the demons prior to Warcraft 1. He gives them modern blueprints for warmachines used by Goblins along with techniques for modern armor and firearms, then after a few years uses the amulet to connect the Dark Portal to our present day Azeroth where the Iron Horde (the Warcraft 1 Horde, but with advanced technology and no demon worship) attacks seeking to conquer all timelines and universes for...reasons. Fuck, what a mess, and after such a good expansion too...

Since both the Horde and Alliance want Pandaria to be theirs, negative emotions are hardly a rarity, which leads to most of the expansion where you aren't fighting back the giant insects of tigers of the Vietnamese national forest being fights against big black and white crawly bitches popping up everywhere along the way or possessing other races to fight you. The first area in the continent has a reasonably nice storyline about said war but that only lasts for the first level, and then you'll just be killing bugs and picking up carrots until level 90 (this is actually fucking fun though, as the immersion and plot threads were well-done). You are also expected to listen to one <s>shitty and mediocre</s> cool and relaxing Chinese restaurant backround track set at different pitches for every new area until you crave Asian food and by the end of the expansion plump up and don't shave until you LOOK like a Pandaren. Blizzard seems to think this is amazing and endlessly makes forum posts titled something like "You have your in-game music turned OFF?!?!". But still, Blizzard really saved the entire franchise with this game after the retardness that was post-4.2.0 Cataclysm.

The game implemented new systems everywhere, from new "for fun" items found all over the fucking place to hidden items which give you a few paragraphs of storyline info to Pokemon-style minigames involving cosmetic pets (not making this up, it was literally created just to keep players playing...and it somehow fucking worked). Most players find themselves giving up on being an adventurer, and retire for months on end to farm like it's Harvest Moon (again, not kidding). So many changes were made to the game it's hard to even list them, most of which were positive. Content (as in, the story) can now be experienced by even the most casual while the REAL challenge (and cosmetic rewards) still exists for hardcore gamers. But thanks to the ease by which players can simply que for content (including role-less, short three-man dungeons) players are now socially interacting at a minimum, seeing the game as mostly single player with multiplayer cooperation needed to attain their own goals. Players don't even fight over loot anymore, as you are automatically awarded something only you get (usually gold). In addition, Pandaria's plot was never fully clear; the Sha are bad, but you more or less stumble on them and kill them as they appear. The Horde/Alliance conflict was widely considered to be shit that appealed to few players. There were several major patches - one where you help your leaders create a base on the south of Pandaria and where WAR happens once more on Warcraft (oh, and Dalaran is purged because REASONS), the next where you prepare with Vol'jin the Darkspear Rebellion, and start attacking Kor'kron units in the Barrens, and the last patch where you besiege Orgrimmar.

In addition, the Pandaren themselves, while adorable mixed with kickass, flip between condescending about their fully neutral attitudes and entirely reliant on you to wipe their asses for them.

=== Warlords of Draenor (Otherwise Known as "World of Warcraft 2")===
After a clusterfuck of a lead-in, Blizzard rolled out the 2014 Warlords of Draenor.
The expansion is mostly noteable in it's massive increase in visual quality for the game, and the fact Horde and Alliance have separate storylines for the bulk of the questing. Side-stories are also tied directly into most player quests, so players aren't left wondering why they put off their orders of destabilizing the Lich King to participate in jousting or forgetting they've been ordered to the frontlines against the other faction in favor of growing turnips a mountain range over.

The lead-in event brought players to the Blasted Lands where the Dark Portal had been closed off from Outland and was rippling with new magic. The portal had been reconnected to parts unknown, and out of it charged Orcs with brown skin (meaning 100% free from any past Demonic taint in them or their parents, a rarity among all known Orc populations barring a small number in Outland) bearing weapons forged from unknown metal and utilizing advanced warmachines. They struck fast and hard, taking over outposts as well as making a beeline for Blackrock Mountain.
The Horde and Alliance, now formally at truce, quickly determine these mysterious Orcs are being lead by Garrosh. Khadgar, the expert on all things pre-Warcraft 3, determines the portal now leads to an alternate timeline Draenor. The Horde and Alliance pick a team of heroes (mostly representing players) lead by the big name characters Thrall, Maraad, Khadgar, Vereesa, Baine, and others including YOUR character who is in charge of the entire expedition. Specialists are also brought, who become the subordinates of the player. After fighting your way to the other side of the portal, you find the Iron Horde has near limitless reinforcements. You quickly shut down the Dark Portal by freeing the evil warlocks (same old faces from Cho'gall, Gul'dan, and pre-Death Knight Gorefiend) who were being used as living batteries to power it.

After taking massive casualties, the bulk of the player stand-in NPC's are left to make a final stand so everyone with a useful skill or action figure can escape into the jungles. After making your way through you encounter each of the Warlords of Draenor and fuck up their plans. Alliance players along the way meet Yrel, described by Blizzard as "Draenei Joan of Arc" whom you eventually use as your second in command after several shared experiences as well as a Draenei Exarch (governor paladin) who brings you into meet and become an ally of the undestroyed Draenei race, while Horde players save Drek'thar's past self and he brings you in as savior to the Frostwolf clan as it faces extinction.

After blowing up the Dark Portal structure and ensuring the Iron Horde cannot invade Azeroth without going through you, Horde and Alliance go their separate ways via commandeered battleships (as this Draenor has oceans rather than outer space between it's continents). The Alliance sail to Shadowmoon Valley, a deep foresty place bathed in both holy and void magic due to the presence of many Naaru as well as one fallen Naaru in a stationary place in the sky over the area who causes it to always appear to be nigh. Shadowmoon is where the bulk of the Draenei race are settled and as a result much of the early questing involves proving the Alliance is not only trustworthy, but the only ones who can defeat the Iron Horde. After accomplishing this they supply your growing army, and you establish a garrison (which grows with the player until it's a fortress with a castle). Before long you encounter Ner'zhul, who split his clan along a faction that swears loyalty to the Alliance (yes, delicious chocolate Orcs in the Alliance) and his own clan which looks to void magic through the fallen Naaru to destroy not only the Horde and Alliance, but the Iron Horde as well to ensure his people's safety forever. He tries to accomplish this by sacrificing the souls of the bulk of the Shadowmoon Orc ancestors, and his own to take control of the Naaru before the Velen of the past sacrifices himself to cleanse the fallen Naaru after deputizing Yrel as a Vindicator (minor paladin). The player, their army, and that newly reborn Naaru travel to Karabor (the past version of the Black Temple, before being taken over by Orc Warlocks and becoming Dark) where the bulk of the Iron Horde's navy destroys itself trying to take it.

The Horde travel to Frostfire Ridge, the half-volcanic half-tundra home of the Frostwolf clan. Thrall meets his alternate parents, although he keeps his identity a secret (at one point Drek'thar compliments himself by saying that Thrall's teacher did his job well).

Both factions then progress to Gorgrond, the past version of the Blade's Edge Mountains and Netherstorm. Gorgrond is essentially if Australia and Vietnam had a baby which was raised by Mount Doom, being a place of savage jungle complete with treemen worshiping GIANT treemen who grow from GIANT GIANT lizard-taur tree hybrids called Genesaurs who want to mulch all intelligent life and in possession of very potent mind control fungus, the a large chunk of the Ogre (and almost all of their derivatives, the Tarrasque-level Gronn and the chubby Xenomorph Gronnlings) race, and finally the Blackrock Clan of Orcs. After establishing an outpost (or two) and pushing back the wild, players mount an attack on the Blackrocks and damage their infrastructure enough that their ability to replenish the rest of the Iron Horde is greatly diminished. Horde players ally themselves with the old Laughing Skull clan, which has experienced a change of leadership as a result of the attacks from the Iron Horde after their refusal to join. Alliance players find the Dark Iron Dwarfs are not only allies of the Alliance, but active members of it as they do the bulk of the non-Draenei heavy-lifting in the zone.

Players then travel to Taledor, part of the past version of Terokkar Forest. Here, players fight to repel Iron Horde invaders that have besieged Shattrath (which players sadly cannot enter and use as a city) while an alternate Burning Legion summoned by Gul'dan lay siege to past Auchindoun (the massive burial complex and artificial purgatory for the Draenei) for the purpose of eating Draenei souls. Most Draenei towns and cities have been destroyed by one faction of villains or the other, and players find themselves with a fair number of friendly Draenei refugees (yep, Horde gets delicious blueberry monstergirls... Draenei now). At the culmination of the zone story, the Horde and Alliance big name character regroup and lead an attack on the Iron Horde spearpoint force, fighting their way through to Blackhand's own battleship. The past version of Orgrim Doomhammer realizes that Blackhand will only lead the (Iron) Horde to ruin and challenges him for leadership of the Horde (just like in the original timeline). This time however, he faced a Blackhand armed with magical Truesteel armor and was killed. He is immediately engaged by Yrel, Maraad, and Thrall's father Durotan while the players and the other big names take a battleship nearby. The player is teleported to the main battleship, where Blackhand defeats everyone present (and kills Maraad) before grabbing Yrel and giving a monologue. Before he can snap her neck she throws her weapon to Durotan, who attacks Blackhand from behind allowing the characters to be teleported to the second ship which blows up Blackhand's (Blackhand somehow survives despite falling into the ocean while being clad in ALL the metal). The Horde and Alliance reaffirm their truce. A subplot in the zone involves the player helping Arakkoa refugees, who in Burning Crusade were <strike>Tzeentchian</strike> Dark Crystal Skeksis you slaughtered wholesale because of a vaguely described plot involving them using shadow magic and dark powers which was a threat to Burning Crusade is Shattrath. The Arakkoa form you've seen since then is a devolved state due to a curse, and you see in Warlords that the uncorrupted Arakkoa use the curse as a means of weeding out undesirables in their society which gives them an excuse to commit genocide on them periodically.

Players are then sent to the Spires of Arak, making up the other half of old Terokkar Forest (and more). Players enter the zone by walking along a path with refugees they saved in Taledor, and upon reaching a ridge where a visible ornate city/nest sits on a mountain spire in the distance, a laser shoots from it burning away a large section of the forest in a literal localized [[Exterminatus|exterminatus]]. The refugees flee to the city, where you meet a scholarly Arakkoa named Reshad along with his Kaliri (owl-things the Arakkoa use as companions you used to slaughter literally in hundreds in Burning Crusade) named Percy. Shortly after meeting him, the city is attacked by uncorrupted Arakkoa, slaughtering every defenseless civilian they can find. Until the player steps out of Reshad's hut, and reverses the situation (as well as finding relics of Terokk, old quest items tied to an instance in Burning Crusade). The zone questing continues along these lines, helping the corrupted Arakkoa and fighting the uncorrupted Arakkoa who seek to wipe them out. Many of the terms vaguely given in the old expansion, as well as characters who served only as boss fights, are fully elaborated on and the Arakkoa mythology and history is told.

Originally the race had three deities; Sethe (the name given to the undefined birdy evils in BC), Rukhmar (new term, mentioned once), and Anzu (old BC secret boss that Druids had to kill to earn the ability to turn into a bird who also later dropped a mount version of himself). Rukhmar was a sun-loving giant Arakkoa, Anzu was the god of giant ravens that only roosted in the dark, and Sethe was a being of evil and misery caught between both where he was chilled by the dark and burned by the light. Sethe one day chose to kill Rukhmar, and enlisted Anzu's aid; Anzu had a crush on Rukhmar and instead informed her and together they fought to defeat Sethekk. To stop the spread of Sethekk's dying curse, Anzu ate his body leaving him only a giant skeleton surrounded by cursed pools of his blood. Rukhmar then created the Arakkoa race players have been fighting which harnessed the power of giant crystals called Apexis (another old term from Burning Crusade that meant nothing until now) to run their great technology including giant robots (because it's fucking Warcraft, of course it has giant robots somewhere). Eventually the Apexis civilization exploded but the arakkoa lived on. The newborn Arakkoa fought constantly with most other races. At one point, the greatest king of the Arakkoa named Terokk lead his people into a golden age but his subordinates grew jealous and threw him into the cursed pools of blood near Sethekk's body. There, he lost the sun-blessed powers he once possessed and crawled through the muck trying to think straight with his addled mind. The rest of his followers were thrown in, and the council flew back to their nest-cities to lead the remaining Arakkoa into a decadent lifestyle which abandoned the knowledge of the Apexis. Upon finding the broken body of his daughter within one of the pools, Terokk surrendered to the curse of Sethekk. Anzu, observing the fall and abandonment of the greatest of his sister's followers, took pity and blessed them with clarity and shadow magic to replace their lost faculties and holy magic (seems dark/light is a theme of the expansion) while those too damaged to ever be sane again where taken by his wife Ka'alu to live among the giant ravens who were their mortal devotees. Terokk lead his people to establish nests on the ground, far from the eyes of their uncorrupted kin before losing his mind many years later and becoming the aspect that the player would one day fight against the resurrection of in the original timeline.

But in this new altered timeline, the player saves the refugees and gathers them into an army. After summoning Anzu and Ka'alu, players recover the artifacts of Terokk and by both reliving his life and at the same time forcing him into reliving yours, his spirit is cleansed. Together he and the player deal a crippling blow to the assassin forces of the Kargath Bladefist (one of the Warlords). Terokk, having lost the bulk of his remaining power, appoints the player as leader of his people. You then lead the ravens and corrupt Arakkoa to conquer two cities of the uncorrupted Arakkoa and destroy the giant sun lasers they use to burn the cities of the corrupted Arakkoa, invading the final city and putting the thread of Rukhmar's people down for good. You also establish a town for your faction, and save a town full of Goblins from their own fuckups. Tying back to the major plot, the groups you saved (Arakkoa and Goblins) now aid your faction. Players also find that the Alliance town established by their own quest-giver Admiral Taylor has been destroyed by Necromancers in service to the Cult of the Damned (yes, they apparently still exist). He joins the players as a follower posthumously (in the end, you wind up with a total of three ghosts wandering your garrison saluting you).

In the final zone available at launch, Nagrand (which largely resembles the original albeit without floating rocks and bands of evil light in the sky) players establish a final outpost. Players find the original Alliance town of the zone, Telaar, destroyed by the past Warsong clan who are intent on destroying every race and clan not their own and taking Draenor and all other lands for themselves. After stopping a plot to use the Oshu'gun (giant crystal spaceship the Draenei first used to reach Draenor) to summon Demons via void magic (as if you didn't know that was coming), calming the elements of the zone, destroying the leadership and the bulk of the Burning Blade clan of samurai Orcs before finally breaking their spirit by taking out their greatest champions in single combat (barring their new female leader who swears she will be the one to kill you), saving the souls of the Orcish ancestor spirits of the Warsong, and finally participating in gladiatorial arenas (the first because the prize money will aid your garrison, the second because the Ogres once had an empire here which they are trying to rebuild and it teaches the dumber clans not to rejoin out of fear of having their shit slapped by you personally) you reach the zone finale. Your faction gathers a fuckhuge army and assaults the Warsong clan base, wiping out most of the resistance and taking Garrosh prisoner. Garrosh and Thrall challenge each other to finish the duel to the death they started immediately before Wrath. After a beating back and forth, Garrosh hulks out and claims that only a warrior can lead the Orcs to their rightful place as masters of all creation. Thrall responds "fuck you, mono-faction development settings are shit!" and causes a giant fist to rise out of the ground to hold him in place while he's electrocuted by a massive lightning strike from the sky. The action of using magic in this kind of duel (called mak'gora by the orcs) is [[Skub|contentious]] among the players, as depending on the sources, magic is either strictly prohibited for the duration and Thrall outright cheated, allowed in the shape of a weapon blessing by a shaman and Thrall still outright cheated, or entirely allowed and everything was fair and square. Notable is the fact that most of the sources claiming magic is allowed during Mak'gora have been written '''after''' Warlords launched, so make of that as you will. The Horde and Alliance big name characters once again meet and affirm "yep, we're still working together in a friendly way" before deciding their next moves. To prove Garrosh really is dead, his corpse is actually left in-game within the giant stone fist only feet away.

Then a new patch added the truly final zone. There's lots of burnt trees and tainted ground because the blood of Mannoroth (the demon introduced in Warcraft 3 whose blood corrupted the orcs) has been seeping into the ground since Grom killed him. Gul'dan, sick of the player characters messing up his plans, confronts Grom. He spills the beans about Garrosh being Grom's son and overthrows Grom before corrupting the Orcs with demon blood. He takes Hellfire Citadel and taints it with even more demonic magic. Players fight their way through several bosses. First are demonic versions of Goblin machinery including a giant goblin mecha powered by demonic energy and the father of the Gronn race (a giant hybrid of ogre, gorilla, cyclops and rock). Then players fight Teron Gorefiend, who gorged on so many souls he's now a soul-eating fat bastard with a mouth on his belly. Then there's a council of corrupted Orcs and Kilrogg Deadeye, where you finally give him the death he foresaw. Then you fight your way through corrupted Draenei, including the ghost of a Draenei engineer with his own [[Wraithlord]] ([[Awesome|which you can commander in the fight]]) and their leader, a fallen paladin who, going by her raid mechanics, really hates healers. You free Grom from being tortured by demons, fight a corrupted Void Lord then fight your way through Arrakoa to Gul'dan. He resurrects Mannoroth and you defeat him. Then you get to the portal where Gul'dan summons alternate timeline Archimonde and you fight him for a second time (this time without Wisp help). While dying, Archimonde blasts Gul'dan before dying and the Legion's plans for alternate timeline Draenor have been thwarted, for now. Khadgar thinks Gul'dan will be back and flies off while Yrel appears to forgive Grom despite his orcs killing a lot of Draenei including her sister.

The expansion changed quite a bit of the game's dynamic by focusing all professions on items that can only be made once per day, giving players access to NPC's who can craft the minor recipes of any other profession whether the player has it or not, and giving players renewable sources of raw crafting materials which made gear much more accessible to the community and ensured the players who have no life aren't as much above the players who do. The focus on a garrison with a fair number of different options as they are built added a choice and specialization dynamic to characters outside their fighting style.
The most drastic gameplay changes were the addition of a "toybox" which converts old "for fun" effect items into spells rather than something to carry, a readjustment of stats in the game to reduce the numbers of some stats (which were approaching and surpassing millions) down into three digits without causing an effect on the actual PLAYING (so the simplification was to make gear easier to understand) which came with retooling abilities across the board. Each class was given more survival abilities while healers were nerfed to the point of having to choose when to heal rather than just spamming healing at all timies. Players were given new storage spaces for crafting materials of all kinds in their bank and items were made to stack in bunches of 200 rather than 20. Garrisons replaced any centralized city players would use, and gave the player a heightened sense of importance in the world. Rare spawns were retooled greatly, respawning quite often and being a somewhat expected part of the playing experience.

Oh, and flying mounts cannot be used in Draenor to promote exploration to find hidden treasures and quests rather than flying from point A to point B. Player reaction was mixed greatly.

Perhaps the most popular part of the new expansion, players received high resolution models, where player faces have a look and can emote rather than being a painted face on a flat model with flapping lips resembling a rhombus. Cut scenes make up a large part of the game's storytelling, with models which can actually make facial expressions like a Steam Film Maker model.

Ultimately Warlords of Draenor proved to be one of, if not the least popular WoW expansion to date. While the updated character models and sleeker cutscenes were definitely well received, they were overshadowed by a variety of issues that began to crop up as the expansion developed. The city of Karabor (an uncorrupted Black Temple) and the Bladespire citadel were initially planned as the Alliance and Horde hub cities of the expansion, though midway through the beta, these hub locations were hastily crammed onto the relatively controversial PvP island of Ashran, much to the chagrin of many players. The role of places players hanged out in was taken over by player-made garrisons, which only allowed other players in them after a party invite from the garrison's owner, unintentionally making it a good spot for roleplayers to hang out in (especially [[Slaanesh|a certain kind]] of them). Said garrisons also served as the main base of operations for the players, have had plentiful gathering nodes (almost entirely eliminating the need to go farm resources in the open world and tanking the market for metal ores specifically, the herb nodes in the garrison were few compared) and sending NPCs out into the world to do quests and bring you back loot from them, which ranged from garrison resources to [[Wat|literal raid loot]], turning the players into glorified questgivers for most of the expansion.
Additionally, WoD has the fewest amount of content patches between ''all'' WoW expansions to date, only ever reaching patch 6.2 before Blizzard announced Legion (Most other expansions reach some iteration of either X.3 or even X.4 before the next expansion launches). At this point, what little development wasn't already focused on the upcoming expansion shifted over into full gear, leaving players high and dry for several months without any new content to tide them over until then. Because of the rushed development cycle, many of the features and raids that were planned (A raid on Shattrath City and the highly anticipated Farahlon zone are two major features) were axed due to time constraints or "story flow conflicts". Finally, the narrative became slightly disjointed and nonsensical midway through the expansion; while Grom Hellscream was announced and initially set up to be the final boss of the expansion, the role and theme was shifted to a demon-centric focus while Grom was "redeemed" (despite being personally responsible for all of the Iron Horde's atrocities up till just recently and having done nothing to atone for that). Part of the reason is that Blizzard actually acknowledged that people were getting sick of everything Orc related (Didn't help that Garrosh was making everything extra orcy at the end of the prior expansion either), which is definitely saying something considering Blizzard's hard-on for everything orc. The other primary factor was simply that Blizzard likely acknowledged that between the dwindling subscriber count and mounting complaints regarding the expansion, it would simply be best to dismiss WoD as a lost cause and focus on churning out the next expansion to revitalize the diminishing interest in the game.

===Legion===
A tiny island from the previous games is now an entire continent. Each zone is dedicated to a former crowd-pleaser, including the vrykul (viking giants), the Emerald Dream, and a fourth race of elves: ones descended from good Highborne that locked themselves under a magic dome for 10,000 years because they thought the demons won (making the decision to give Night Elves mages to represent the original Highborne even more redundant). The Lore is based mostly on the War of the Ancients novels with a sprinkling of Warcraft 3.

After being sent to the main timeline, AU Gul'dan (we'll call him Gul'dan because it's easier) was charged by Kil'jaeden with opening a demonic portal in the Tomb of Sargeras and retrieving Illidan's corpse for the Legion to use (which had been take by Maiev so she could trap his soul for eternity), and with the help of a brainwashed Night Elf warden, he succeeds. Later, forces from the Horde and the Alliance attack the Tomb of Sargeras, and make it to the beachfront despite heavy losses. At the gate to the Tomb of Sargeras, Gul'dan stands with every major demon they've killed throughout the raids (except Archimonde, Kil'jaeden and Mannoroth) comes back at once. After a vicious fight, the Horde army gets overwhelmed, forcing Sylvanas to gather the Horde and retreat. The Alliance sees the retreat but not the crushing defeat, so some (especially Genn) assumed the worst. The Alliance tried to retreat to a gunship, but Gul'dan summoned a giant Fel Reaver to grab it. Then Varian [[AWESOME|jumped off the ship to stab the Fel Reaver in the head so the others could escape]]. Stranded but alive, Varian tried to cut this way through them to Gul'dan, but was backstabbed by demons and blown up by Gul'dan (with Varian's dying words being a defiant" '''''"For the Alliance!"''''').

The Alliance mourn the loss, while Genn and Jaina called for payback against the Horde, which makes no sense as they should know the Horde prefers death over retreat and they saw the giant demon army. Genn plans revenge and Jaina literally rage-quits when none of the other leaders side with her (even Horde-hating Tyrande can see the bigger picture). Among the Horde, Vol'jin was killed by a [[Fail|random mook]] as part of a warped attempt by the writers to even the scales, even though Varian was leader since Wrath whilst Vol'jin only got the last expansion to be war chief and even then got to do nothing. He summoned the faction leaders and named Sylvanas Warcheif with his dying breath (To huge fan uproar. He cited it as the will of the spirits/Loa, though some fans suspected otherwise). The Burning Legion attack both to try and assassinate all the faction leaders, but two of Illidan's demon hunters head to Stormwind and Orgrimmar respectively and reveal the ambush, thwarting the attacks. The Alliance and Horde go to Dalaran, which the Kirin Tor teleport to the Broken Isles to serve as a staging area for combined (loosely) forces invasion. From there, the players lash out in search of the Pillars of Creation, artifacts the Titans used when they remade Azeroth, <s>to free N'Zoth</s> to defeat the Burning Legion, of course.

During this, Lich King Bolvar broke his self-imposed exile and allied with the Death Knights of the Ebon Blade against the Legion, offering help against the Legion in exchange for keeping the Scourge contained (which is the reason Bolvar took up the mantle in the first place. Could plans for skulduggery be afoot?). The player Death Knight becomes his champion, getting (up to) three sweet weapons stolen from the Burning Legion ([[AWESOME|including one forged from the pieces of Frostmourne]]), with the other Death Knights making the player character their leader. Understandably leery of the Lich King, the Death Knights keep an eye on the player character for everyone's sakes. Things get even shadier as the Lich King tries to reform the Four Horsemen (stealing the corpse of a Horde hero, an Alliance hero, an Ensemble Darkhorse and raid the paladin Class Hall for Tirion's body... the latter only failed because of Liadrin's defense and the Light itself burned the Death Knights and forced them to flee) and sends the player Death Knight to raid the Red Dragonshrine (making enemies of the Dragons, who don't die off due to a retcon following massive fan backlash over how Blizzard have been dragging them through the mud) to find the location of a powerful dragon's corpse to raise it as a special mount. The red dragons mostly stay out of the war because they, along with all other dragons, have become sterile and can't replenish their losses. On one hand, your race being the extinction clock is a good reason to avoid danger. On the other hand, the blue, black and bronze dragons are willing to join the fight despite being in the same situation. Meanwhile, Illidan's soul, on the run in the Twisting Nether, communicates with the Illidari, naming Demon Hunter PCs as the acting leaders.

Later, a powerful Light-infused object smashes into the ocean outside the Tomb of Sargeras. After retrieving it at the behest of Khadgar, it contains a magical message from Turalyon, presumed long lost, revealing the existence of a holy army called the Army of the Light and containing information vital to combating the Legion, which Velen needs to see. Upon arriving, it's revealed the Exodar is under attack by a demonic army, sent by Kil'jaeden and commanded by a cruel Eredar named Rakeesh. When Velen sees the object, he reveals what it is and rushes to bring it to the naaru O'ros. The object is called Light's Heart, and is the sentience core of a naaru (re: a brain, but it can be effectively detached and re-attached). This core is belongs to a powerful type of Naaru, a Prime Naaru, and this one's named Xe'ra. The information can only be accessed by a Naaru descended from Xe'ra, and O'ros is the last. Unfortunately, they encounter Rakeesh and a big battle occurs. Things get even worse when Velen recalls a repressed memory of a prophecy, and realizes Rakeesh is his long-lost son, abducted back on Argus and and corrupted into a demonic Eredar. Following the deaths of both O'ros and Rakeesh, Velen is devastated and has a crisis of faith, with Light's Heart stored in the Class Hall until an alternative can be found.

Over time, all but one Pillar of Creation, the Eye of Aman'thul, is retrieved. The Hammer of Khaz'gorath is retrieved after resolving a war between local tauren tribes and the power-hungry Drogbar with the help of a hidden uncorrupted black dragon. The Tidestone of Golganneth is retrieved from the clutches of the Naga in a city haunted by ancient elven ghosts after almost weaponized to destroy the Broken Isles by Queen Azshara (who has her own plans). The Tear of Elune is retrieved in Val'sharah, but not before it's corrupted by the satyr Xavius, who not only spreads the Emerald Nightmare across the Broken Isles, but briefly captures Maulfurion and also corrupts several guardians of nature including Cenarius and Ysera. It takes direct intervention from Elune herself to save Ysera's soul after death and purify the Tear. The Aegis of Aggramar is retrieved from Stormheim, after overcoming several challenges from a fractious group of titan Keepers who are pretty much expies of Norse mythology (revealing the Ulduar keepers' estranged leader, who has two pet ravens and is named Odyn, seriously, Blizzard? Odyn?). Things here are occasionally disrupted by Genn abandoning the fight against the Burning Legion to pursue his revenge against Sylvanas and the Forsaken.

A conversation with the Naaru Prime Xe'ra hints that Elune may have made the Naaru at the beginning of the universe. Elune is also hinted to be a light-based counterpart of the Void Lords (making her either an angel-equivalent or Warcraft's post-retcon version of God). Xe'ra states that it seeks the "Child of Light and Shadow" who is destined to defeat the Burning Legion and that person is Illidan (dun-dun-DUN!)

There are several areas, Azsuna, Highmountain, Val'sharah, Stormheim, Suramar and the Broken Shore.
In Suramar (a sunken but raised city in Warcraft 3 retconned into a city either ruined or protected under a magic dome), Gul'dan offered the Nightborne (some of the original elven race who weren't Highborne mutated by arcane titan magic) an alliance, asking for access to their Nightwell (very similar to the High Elves Sunwell, but better) in return for their lives and power. Its implied he uses magic to send their leader false visions of all of them dying if they refuse and most of the Nightborne government decide to ally with the Legion. Some refuse, and the player allies with those who survive to aid the rebellion.

To resolve the situation, the player characters later enter the Emerald Nightmare as a raid. Apart from corrupted dragons and Wild Gods the only other bosses are Xavius himself and a sentient Lovecraftian tumor made of eyes, mouths and tentacles that looks like a brain smushed with a heart (the latter spouting some foreshadowing). Eventually Xavius himself is reached and killed with the help of Ysera's spirit. The Emerald Nightmare recedes and the Emerald Dream is cleansed, except for a Void-corrupted flower hidden in a cave, which the Shadow Priest dagger Xal'atath (Knaifu to fans) comments is a sign that <s>N'zoth's prison is weakening so it must make preparations</s> everything is fine...

They're in a war with a Hel-expy called Helya who is making a deal with Edge Queen Sylvanas to take control the good, titan-based Val'kyr. Genn Greymane, leader of the Worgen, thwarts Sylvanas' plan by freeing the Val'kyr leader Sylvanas captured (some say: long live the Werewolf King!). The conflict is resolved in the "Trial of Valor" raid where the players kill Helya, who is the final boss, at Odyn's behest and break her curse on him... though Helya did it because Odyn wanted to conscript the dead in an elite army and force someone into a shadowy undead existence to facilitate the recruitment: forcing the latter on Helya herself, despite him being her adopted father, when she opposed his plan. The morality of Odyn's actions is never addressed, but then Blizzard is not known much for giving a hoot about details and any logic consistency nowadays (keep in mind how they tried to sweep Sylvanas' war crimes under the rug)... unless Odyn is a future raid boss, but he is written as a jolly bro-king, or not. At this point anyone that knows a bit of him dislikes the dude, mostly because HE KEEPS DEMANDING YOU SHOW YOUR WORTH TO HIM. ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME. Its even WORSE if you are Warrior, because you are supposed to ALREADY be WORHTY (since it's a warrior culture, maybe Odyn doesn't want the player character to become complacent or rest on their laurels).

* The Nighthold, the palace of Suramar, is raided. The Nightborne leader is killed but briefly returns to life through time travel, realizes the error of her ways and uses her remaining power to help the players fight Gul'dan (who is trying to use Illidan's body as a vessel for Sargeras). After the players defeat Gul'dan, Illidan returns to life and kills Gul'dan while the players get the last Pillar of Creation, before ordering the players to follow him as he wants to raid the Eredar capital of Argus (it was a KILL STEAL like Thrall, but better because at least we get some good imagery with Illidan holding the asshole skull like in the BC cinematics). The Nightwell is shut off (dooming everyone in the city who can not eat a piece of slowly-growing fruit from one magic tree outside the city to a slow and painful death).
* Later on the Tomb of Sargeras is entered which contains, among other things, an avatar of Sargeras himself and Kil'jaeden, current leader of the Burning Legion with Sargeras in limbo (revealing that Kil'jaeden wasn't at full strength when fought in Burning Crusade, which is kinda obvious his legs were still inside the Sunwell, so he was at half his power...because that is how magic works). Fighting Kil'jaeden takes place on some interdimensional Burning Legion vessel alongside Velen (who's had enough of running and wants payback regarding Rakeesh). When you defeat Kil'jaeden the vessel starts to dive to Argus and crash-land. But Khadgar teleported everyone away after Illidan opened a huge portal between Argus and Azeroth. Kil'jaeden and Velen share some parting words, where Kil'jaeden admits his motives and admiration for Velen, who touches his forehead and disappears. Kil'jaeden dies, exploding and taking his vessel with him, and since it was in the Twisting Nether this means Kil'jaeden is gone for good, cutting the head off the Burning Legion. Back on Azeroth it's revealed the huge portal is stuck open, doing the Legion's work for them instead of just sending raids to Argus. Even Dadghar got pissed at that, and that guy is cool as a cucumber.
* Everyone heads to Argus to take out the rest of the Burning Legion's command center. Once there, they find the remnants of the Army of the Light (including pre-WoW favorites Turalyon and Alleria; the latter being conflicted about her skubby sister's "Queen of the Undead" power trip). They revive the Prime Naaru Xe'ra and bring Illidan to her. She thanks him for what heroic stuff he has done (a first), and tries to imbue him with the Light and purge him of the Fel, forcing it on him when he said he wasn't interested. Illidan refused and after being forceful Xe'ra got jobbed by Illidan (to the outrage of Turalyon), her death cutting the head off the Army of the Light (and unintentionally making the Burning Legion's job easier), which can come across as [[Skub|hypocritical given that Illidan did worse to Akama for similar reasons]]. On further SKUB, Alleria was imprisoned by Xe'ra because she was using the Void - the Light's archenemy whom Xe'ra loathes at a personal and fundamental level. While Velen himself seems conflicted about Xe'ra death, as he says himself that he has been forced to do the Naarus bidding before (which is either an expansion or contradiction of the lore about the Naaru).
* It's revealed that Sargeras has '''spoiler:''' captured all the other Titans save Eonar and Azeroth and is trying to force them to serve him in this titan fortress on Argus called Antorus, the Burning Throne. He successfully swayed Aggramar, is hunting Eonar and had enslaved a hitherto unknown Titan which was hiding in Argus, called Argus the Unmaker, to power the Burning Legion.
* After Argus is defeated Sargeras himself shows up and engulfs Azeroth in cloud form. The Titans souls and Illidan band together to imprison Sargeras at the Seat of the Pantheon forever. Illidan gives a farewell message to the player, Furion and Tyrande. Back on Azeroth we find out Sargeras has stabbed Silithus, which is leaking Azeroth's blood, potentially becoming a second Well of Eternity.

Remember, we are definitely NOT being manipulated into opening N'Zoth's prison. Not one bit. There is no traitor, don't be paranoid. Your friends WILL NOT betray you.

===Battle for Azeroth===
[[File:Battle for azeroth diorama.jpg|thumb|right|500px|As a celebration for their next [[Games Workshop|money grabbing expansion]], Blizzard construct a massive diorama of countless miniature to portray the battle between the Horde and the Alliance. You know you want them. And for more pics, here. [[https://web.archive.org/web/20181008173847/https://www.wowhead.com/gallery=689/diorama]]]]

Surprise! The next expansion <del>isn't</del> is eventually Old God-centered. We're going back to the faction war. Each major faction tries to claim their continent. As the Horde move to claim the Night Elf lands in what will be called the War of Thorns, the shitstorm is in full swing. The Horde sneak around the mountains and defeat the Night Elves army, whose forces are spread thin across Azeroth. Their druid leader Malfurion tried to solo Sylvanas but after nearly killing her, he was downed by an axe in the back from SAURFANG of all people. It was an accident, though, as he couldn't see clearly through the smoke and all. When he realized the dishonorable blow he'd dealt, Saurfang had a BSOD and did not resist Tyrande when she arrived, but Tyrande chose to spare him in favor of getting Malfurion out. Originally planning to occupy the giant tree Teldrassil, Sylvanas went and ordered it burnt down [[Grimdark|even though the Horde had won the War and there were only non-combatants in Teldrassil at the time]] due to various reasons that kept getting retconned. The first two were to demoralize the Alliance and spite the dying Night Elf commander who said Sylvanas can't kill hope. Of course, there's also the practical fact that occupying a giant druidic tree from a druidic people who created the damn thing is pretty much guaranteed suicide (though this is never indicated in-universe). A handful of people are evacuated from Teldrassil but the majority die (well, sort of, it's completely unclear how many died because they had escape plans, but the fire spread quickly due to the magical ammunition the Horde used, and in the Alliance rescue mission even the best players can only save 50/1000 NPCs max ''from Darnassus'', never mind the rest of Teldrassil). After Sylvanas went full terrorist on Teldrassil, the displaced Night Elves are forced out of Kalimdor and head to the Eastern Kingdoms, reminding Night Elf players what their place is in case any had the scandalous notion that the Night Elves are anything more than exposition or the Horde's punching bag. Azuremyst Isle Draenei become the last Alliance holdout in Kalimdor, and the humans welcome the Night Elves into their homes, reminding all the players of who the big good is supposed to be in case anyone had the blasphemous idea that their own faction/race was in any way special or good if they aren't Alliance humans.
[[File:WoW_New_Mount.jpg|right|300px]]
However, Anduin evolved into MANduin! The Alliance bands together to retaliate, attacking Lorderaen to deal with the Forsaken once and for all. Strangely, the faction leaders most effected by the Horde's actions are absent, since even though one got an axe in the back, both he his wife have healing magic plus the latter's also the champion of a literal goddess. The Horde forces lose and are forced to retreat. However, in a show of plot armor, none of the Horde leaders turn on Sylvanas, not even dishonor-hating Saurfang (who was so disillusioned with the Horde he nearly committed suicide by Alliance army). Sylvanas heads further into villain territory when she flooded the battlefield with the Blight and Horde soldiers were caught as collateral damage... but then JAINA made a comeback on an arcane-empowered ship (which could now fly), dispersed the Blight and breached the walls. When Anduin, Genn, Jaina and Alleria confronted Sylvanas, Sylvanas flooded Lorderaen with the Blight which would've killed them if Jaina didn't teleport them out. The end result is that the Blood Elves are the last Horde holdout in the Eastern Kingdoms and hilariously they don't even have a reason to be the Alliance's enemy but a lot of genocidal reasons to be the Horde's enemy along with having been cleansed of their fel-magic induced insanity - with Alliance help, no less - back in the first expansion.

Seeking to gain more allies, Jaina and the player characters head to Kul'Tiras, but Jaina's on bad terms with her mother Katherine for letting the Horde's army kill Daelin, Katherine's husband/Jaina's father, because Jaina believed the new Horde back when it was forming would be different from the one controlled by demons and so helped them defeat her father who was trying to purge said Horde. Good thing it only took a few world-wars and near apocalypse events to convince Jaina that the Horde was beyond saving as a whole... then she spared them like, twice or something. So Katherine disowned Jaina and sentenced her to death, refused Anduin's request and imprisoned the Alliance PCs. After being broken out of jail, Alliance players have to get Kul'trias' allegiance by solving problems in Kul'Tiras and helping fix the Proudmoore family's issues. After ousting the traitor, Lady Ashvane, Jaina is now in charge of Kul'Tiras, but Ashvane later gets sprung from jail by Sylvanas to help her. Meanwhile, the Night Elves mobilize the majority of their army under their faction leaders to try and take Kalimdor home back from the Horde's forces, retaking enough to establish a base and are starting to push the Horde occupiers out, but both sides get bogged down in a guerilla war. Sylvanas responds by going full Arthas and raising the dead against their will to serve as commanders and reinforcements - including the aforementioned Night Elf commander - while the Tyrande becomes an avatar of her goddess Elune's wrath.

The Horde travels to Zandalar, to met god-king Rakastan of the Zandalari trolls and help him fight a rebellion against his rule. The Horde learns about G'huun, a blood god trapped in an abandoned Titan facility; the Titans used the facility to experiment on the Old Gods to learn about them and accidentally created a new Old God-like being, at which point they promptly closed the facility and buried their mistake. During this, King Rastakhan's advisor Zul is revealed to be a traitor and kills Rastakhan's Loa, so he made a deal-with-the-devil type arrangement with the loa of death Bwonsamdi, [[Ungrim Ironfist|which will also follow his bloodline forever]]. After Jaina took control of Kul Tiras, she led an attack on Zandalar which resulted in the death of King Rastakhan, shoving the Zandalari into the arms of the Horde. Princess Talanji became queen and also inherited her dad's pact with Bwonsamdi. Meanwhile Sylvanas continues to raise dead Alliance soldiers and heroes into undeath, some of them against their will, which is provoking resentment if not outright dissent among Baine when this is done to Derek Proudmoore - despite the fact that Sylvanas has done this many times before and that Baine didn't dissent nor lift even a finger about the slaughtering of Night Elves and raising tauren despite these crimes being far worse.

New races join both factions: the Horde gets the Highmountain Tauren and Nightborne from Legion as well as Zandalar trolls (the Horde being more familiar than the Alliance with how a few bad seeds can make the whole faction look bad, yet that doesn't always mean that's the case) and Mag'har orcs (unaltered Orcs from alt-Draenor seeking refuge as their world has become a desolate wasteland and the Draenei formed an army of Light extremists seeking to settle old scores with the Orcs or convert them). The Alliance gets Void Elves (a "small number" of elves Alleria trains to use void powers, which sounds more like a class than a race but whatever), Dark Iron Dwarves (who have been working with the Alliance since Cataclysm), and Lightforged Draenei (an army of Light-infused Draenei who joined the Alliance because Illidan jobbed their CO and the second-in-command is Alliance) and Kul'Tirans (burly or chubby humans with an affinity for sailing and the ocean). Major gameplay features include Warfronts, which are <s>nostalgia bait for fans of the actual Warcraft RTS games</s> focused around building bases and units and gathering resources in enemy territory to fight back against the incursions that both factions have made, and some randomly generated islands that players will <s>figure out the optimal way to clear in a week</s> enjoy for the entire expansion.

You might be wondering why the Nightborne would join the faction that has a tendency to start wars of annihilation, has multiple attempted genocides under their belt for at least three member factions, is just plain ugly to contrast the Nightborne valuing beauty and largely disdains magic. The reason the fans were fed is that the Nightborne feel kinship with the Blood Elves even though the Blood Elves are the antithesis of everything the Nightborne pride themselves on (self-control, not being highborne, hating the Burning Legion, no demonic bullshit allowed, not really all that big on the Holy Light, etc.) and Tyrande's distrust of the Nightborne because they sided with the Burning Legion twice (even though the Blood Elves are recovering fel addicts whose entire civilization proved Tyrande's point).

Queen Azshara stepped back into the spotlight as a major villain with a new and tentacled form. She might have married N'Zoth, who looks like [[/d/|an octopus with more tentacles and a head made of mouths and eyes]]. Azshara uses arcane magic and one of the Pillars of Creation - which she somehow stole - to raise her homebase of the past ten millennia, Najzatar, from the seabed (a story element mostly used for gameplay reasons, since Vash'jir from Cataclsym had underwater mechanics which proved complex and unpopular). This involved a move from Sylvanas which implies she knew what was coming and led the Alliance fleet there to decimate it at the cost of her flagship (either [[Just As Planned]] or Sylvanas is being used since Xal'atath's blade is involved). The players explore this realm while finding allies from the locals and learning that Ashvane had ultimately allied with Azshara. In the raid the player fight alongside Jaina, Shandris, Thalyssra and Lor'themar (Tyrande and Furion are busy retaking Kalimdor for the Night Elves, thus don't show up despite some fans hopes) to clear Azshara's palace (including killing Ashvane who, big surprise, gets double-crossed by Azshara and killed by the players). Then we face Azshara herself and learn her master plan during the fight; she wanted the players to come to her so she could co-opt the power from the Heart of Azeroth necklaces to break the chains of N'Zoth's prison. Though Azshara is beaten into submission by the players, her plan succeeded and N'Zoth is freed, [[Waifu|grabbing Azshara with his tentacles before disappearing to parts unknown]] and leaving the characters with an vague but ominous warning.

N'Zoth proceeded to raise the city of Nyalotha from the depths and spread his corruption across Azeroth. The adventurers go there, with a link to channel all the power the Titan Azeroth can muster through them and the Titan defences to kill N'Zoth (and according to the story, this is Hail Mary pass - or a desperate last shot to those who don't know U.S football - and if it fails, N'Zoth wins). In Nyalotha, a lot of thing are learned about Azshara. For one, she's still alive. Two, she was planning to betray N'Zoth and take his power for herself. Three, N'Zoth knew of her treachery, so Azshara is found imprisoned and being tortured by N'Zoth's servants to punish her treachery and mind break her into being loyal to N'Zoth. After N'Zoth's servants are killed, Azshara is freed and offers Xal'atath, saying it's vital to killing N'Zoth before saying she seeks the true throne of power and teleporting out (with neither Wrathion nor the player characters trying to stop or kill her for some weird reason). Then N'Zoth nearly mind-controls the players and wins before getting hit with lazers channelled through the necklaces and has a defeat cinematic which in no way resembles Sauron's defeat from the Peter Jackson version of "Return of the King'.

Patch 8.3 brought two new allied races. On the Horde's side, the Alliance warfront campaign in Vul'dun had a nasty habit of treating the Vulpera as Horde collaborators, which drove the fox people to go full mujahideen and join the Horde out of spite. Meanwhile, because allied races are traditionally added in pairs, the gnomes discovered an isolated island of gnomes fighting a civil war over what degree of turning gnomes into cybermen is going too far, but was really just a mount and xmog grindfest with rayguns and chainswords.

===Shadowlands===
Sylvanas is revealed to be a chief agent for the Jailer, a powerful death being who resides in the afterlife and is responsible for her increased powers. With her newfound powers, Sylvanas [[Plot Armor|solos Icecrown and defeats Lich King Bolvar]], chained him up and shattered the Helm of Domination, which somehow made a giant hole in the sky that leads to the afterlife. Frankly after the Cataclysm, several years of attacks by legion space fleets, a planet-sized fel portal, a planet-sized demonic titan stabbing his sword into Silithus and it being stuck there, burning down the nelf city tree... seeing a hole in the sky to a nightless hellscape wouldn't get a second glance from the typical Azerothian.

There are different afterlives, such as various purgatory-type places, afterlives for reincarnation and a place called the Maw which is post-retcon Warcraft's version of hell. The most influential being in the Shadowlands is the Arbiter, an ancient being who assesses a person's deeds then sends them to an afterlife based on that. But she's unconscious and unable to judge (Sylvanas and Helya were chief suspects, it was later revealed to be Dreadlord meddling and Argus' soul) and the Jailer is sucking the souls of everyone who dies into the Maw. Meanwhile, the rulers of the other afterlives only know that there's an absence of new souls and an anima drought in addition to their own issues.

In a weird way, the Shadowlands harvests soul energy and uses those people in their armies. Many of the actions taken are ruthless, though some have good reasons. Just like how Warlords let Blizzard use long-dead characters again without retcons, the expansion features constant reminders of old characters, quests, dungeons, raids, and anything else that has a reference fans will recognize. Big hit A-listers like Draka....remember her she was Thrall's mom? What a perfect and relevant character to bring back, Shadowlands is sure to succeed with such a star. /s Thankfully, major characters like Uther, Kael'thas - a blood elf prince introduced in Warcraft 3 whose story was screwed so badly Blizzard themselves apologized for it, and Kel'Thuzad appear and have significant story roles. Garrosh only appeared in a trailer and as a raid boss' captive in the Jailer's base... where he literally yeeted himself out of the story just as quickly to destroy his captor with him. Also Lady Vashj is there too. Anyone remember Lady Vashj?

After the Jailer, with Sylvanas' help, mind-controlled Anduin into wielding his finest weapon, the Jailer starts his endgame (yes, that word was chosen for a reason). The expansion turns out to have been the final part of plot by the Jailer to gather the five <strike>Infinity Stones</strike> covenant sigils and enter Zereth Mortis: the origin point of the cosmos and the true heart of the Realm of Death. Home and grave of the SUPER GODS that were even better then that Titans! There, he plans on rewriting the rules of reality. To what? Literally no one knows, including Sylvanas who sacrificed everything to help this guy do whatever it was he was trying to do to fate and reality and death. It is kind of weird to have a whole arc to go by without a motive for the villain, but I'm sure it will be evil! With the help of the newly-returned Primus, we try to fight back against the Jailer, and Tyrande's "Night Warrior" story is sloppily ended with an Elune cameo and Tyrande losing said powers. Even "better", we fail and Sylvanas, who has literally seen him have so much in common with Lich King Arthas - to the point of turning Anduin's sword into Frostmourne 2.0 and making her do to Anduin what Arthas did to her - [[Wat|turns on the Jailer after he says the word "serve"]].

It's at this point that things turn meta. The sloppy Sylvanas double-cross was frankly the last straw for a large and vocal segment of the WoW userbase. Multiple prominent streamers and bloggers very visibly left for [[Final_Fantasy#Eorzea_Races|Final Fantasy XIV]], in turn causing Square Enix to temporarily freeze digital sales in order to bring more servers online. By the start of 2022 it's clear that Shadowlands was not a bold new direction for the WoW franchise, but rather part of a holding pattern - one previously hidden behind fanservice and nostalgia-bating - for a writing team that has no long term story and is scraping the dirt under the barrel for ideas. The Jailer, the main villain of Shadowlands, ends not with a bang, but literally a whimper, his whispered dying words used as a vague cliffhanger to set up a future expansion; showing that not even Warcraft's version of heaven and hell can end the infinite regression of the bigger evil.

Once the dust is settled and the Jailer dead, there's still the matter of what to do with Sylvanas (the Jailer having given her half of her soul back to let her feel guilt and torment her after she turned on him). In a surprisingly actually-not-badly written ending, Tyrande decides that Sylvanas's fate will be to spend however long she needs to rescue every single soul she's been responsible for sending to the Maw, and only ''then'' will she be judged by the new Arbiter (Pelagos, a Kyrian who stepped up to replace the previous one). Which gives Tyrande a say over Sylvanas's fate while also removing the banshee from the game's plot for the forseeable future ''and'' still allows the potential "redemption" (since souls that doomed entire planets are shown to still be given the chance to atone in Revendreath, completely refusing any such opportunity to the now-fully-souled and regretful Sylvanas would have been odd)

===Dragonflight===
We're finally going to the Dragon Isles. Looks like the love-child of Northrend and the Broken Isles. New playable race are the freshly made-up Dracthyr (rather than one or two of a dozen already fleshed out and existing races fans actually wanted such as Ogres and Tuskarr, though they do seem to be based on old concept art for WoW creatures), veering between monstergirls/monsterboys and scalies via a Worgen-like transformation power. Lots of new dragon models (though the aforementioned Drachtyr's mortal forms use retextured blood elf models with spikes and scales added here and there), including dragon characters such as Kalecgos and Alexstraza and Ysera ([[Skub|the latter two showing less skin as part of Blizzard's push to clean their image after a massive sex scandal]]).

Plot seems similar to Mists of Pandaria, where there's no clear huge evil guy at first and instead will be mostly about exploring the islands. But radually moving to the forefront as the expansion goes on is the Primalists, a faction of Proto-dragons. Unlike the ones seen in Northrend which were like the neanderthal ancestors to Dragons, the Primalists were separate from Galakrond (the giant Dragon skeleton in Northrend) and pretty much the evil elemental equivalent of the Dragon Aspects. They fought against the Dragons and Titans for control of the world and lost, getting imprisoned [[Derp|for some reason]] in Thaldraszus, which turns out to be the physical location of the fucked up timespace the Bronze Dragons use to police time that you enter from Tanaris. The Titan Tyr, patron of humanity (and the reason Lordaeron or more specifically Tirisfal was so messed up) did the bulk of the work there, building the Chekhov's gun Titan facilities.

Deathwing, before he was evil, created the Dracthyr to be the soldiers among the Dragonkin races and fight the Primalists. Though he made them more independent and intelligent (one Dracthyr even comments on Dragonkin aesthetic not having changed at all in the millennia) he controlled them with a Titan-knockoff of Thanos' glove, which Razageth destroyed. After the Primalists' defeat,the Dracthyr were sealed underground, basically having the same backstory as the Dwarf ancestor robots that became Ironforge, although he activated a device left by Tyr to put the entire island including the Primalists into stasis and unreachable until the Titan Watchers deactivated it, though they remained still and died over the years until the last surviving one finally woke up, allowing the Dragons to return and waking up the Dracthyr who are quite confused and angry to have found out they were abandoned for so long. Of course, the Primalists also woke up and one was freed by her followers.

The Dracthyr wandered off rather than fight them to either join the Horde or Alliance depending on their disposition (and just like the Pandaren your patron faction leaders are "the patient planning nerd" and "the moron who met the Horde first"). Within the Horde they take the position of powerful allies that nobody trusts and have no idea what is going on in the world they are in that the Draenei did in Burning Crusade, and likewise the Alliance ones become the arrogant and somewhat racist sophisticated former isolationists realizing they need friends that the Blood Elves did for the Horde.

Apparently as a result of seeing two faction wars (one that got a town nuked with a neutral continent ''and an alternate timeline'' being dragged in, the other starting with a genocide and ending with an Old God almost destroying the planet), another Legion invasion that got the planet fucking stabbed by a continent-sized demonic sword, a powerful Old God's servant - Azshara - freed with all her planet-wrecking power doing who knows what, and the very concept of death and the afterlife goddamn breaking, the Dragonflights decided that this "Age of Mortals" thing might not have been a good idea after all and they're gonna regain their powers to return as protectors of Azeroth and we're along to help them - which is important, given they have also been mortal since Cataclysm. Hopefully they get their sterility issue fixed while at it, because being on the extinction clock is a bit of a problem.

Meanwhile Wrathion has been accepted by the other Dragons as the best chance they have at Black Dragons not being evil and all the other non-evil Black Dragons who thought they were the rest of their race and only sane member, including the ones in Outland, have united in an awkward family reunion to decide the pecking order.

==See Also==
*[[Pauldrons]]
*[[Warcraft]]
*[[World of Warcraft: The Roleplaying Game]]s

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

2026-05-27T14:14:54Z

45.80.158.249:

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[[File:Jojo Logo.png|400px|thumb|right|English logo for Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.]]
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If there is one thing you should know about '''Jojo's Bizarre Adventure''' before you delve into it, it should be this one thing:

It's dumb. ''It's so fucking dumb... And yet it works.''

While the the story varies wildly based on the arc, it has a basic synopsis. It covers the multi-generational (and eventually multiversal) heroism of the Joestar family, who are constantly getting involved in all sorts of weird shit that results in epic, crazy, surprisingly clever fights and super-manly scenes. The title comes from the protagonists' common nickname, "JoJo", since most of them bear first and last names that start (or sometimes end) with "Jo". Although technically you can just pick up any saga at random, it's slightly easier to follow along if you read from the beginning. ''Slightly''.

Created in 1987 by manga artist Hirohiko Araki, Jojo has had an influence on not only Japanese anime and manga but internet culture as a whole. List a common anime trope, chances are that Jojo is either the originator or made that theme very famous. Cheering sidekicks, multiple-chapter battles, attacks that defy every conventional belief you can dream of, ''flamboyant poses,'' you name it.

Naturally, the ever-increasing popularity of the series has led to more visibility for its media AND its fandom, [[Skub|for better and worse.]] Outside of the obligatory 'actual' references in other shit, this includes such phenomena as people using nearly every opportunity possible to make Jojo references, people complaining about the fandom making references, [[Recursion|people complaining about people complaining about the fandom making references]], "is this a Jojo reference?" becoming a meme all its own... you know, the usual. Nowadays, you'll probably still see the sporadic Jojo meme here and there outside of /a/. One of the 4chan banners created in the earlier days is based on the manga. ("Your next line will be 'I was just pretending to be retarded!'" "I was just pretending to be retarded! ''?!'' He...he captured...my favorite trick!")

Its most well-known incarnation is probably Stardust Crusaders, mostly for how iconic Jotaro and Dio were as well as the popularity from the OVA and fighting game.

==JoJo and /tg/==
[[File:Pillarstodes.jpg|thumb|right|Wamuudes, Custodisi, and Karstodes; the personal guardians to the Emperor of Mankind.]]
JoJo is one of three anime/manga that /tg/ will openly admit they like, the other two being [[Berserk]] and [[Fist of the North Star]]. Hell, the early art style of JoJo is heavily inspired by FotNS, even Jonathan's outfit being very similar to Kenshiro's. Like the two aforementioned manga, JoJo is considered to be an extremely manly series, with a predominantly male cast and the protagonists usually kicking ass to get to their objective without much thinking (edit: this is false, Jojo protagonists win fights by creating strategies that could blow up a Zoanthropes' brain from how ridiculously convoluted the strategy is but the sheer ridiculousness of the strategies is apart of the reason why Jojo is so silly). However, at the same time it is flamboyantly gay, with many male characters being shirtless or wearing revealing clothing and striking strange/fabulous poses, making its relationship with /tg/ somewhat confusing and [[skub|conflicted]] considering that /tg/ usually shies away from most stuff that is homosexual. It has however, also been described as "flamboyant masculinity", as none of the characters are actually gay despite outward appearances. One could say it's because it's like a breath of fresh air how silly it is, or the end goal of each arc is ultimately pretty simple; protagonist has to beat the shit out of and/or kill the big bad, end of story. The tone of any arc can change in an instant, becoming dumb and happy to dire and [[grimdark]] within a couple chapters. It's also because the action is often too awesome that fa/tg/uys turn a blind eye to the gay stuff. Or we just love it that way, since that's mostly what made JoJo popular in the first place. Plus Araki puts ''scads'' of references to classic rock and metal into Jojo, so that helps too. Also, the art is honestly very good, especially in the latest tomes.

We've had several Quest threads on /tg/ that relate to JoJo, the most popular being the multi-part [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=JoJo%20Guardsman%20Quest Guardsman's Bizarre Adventure]. We also have Super Stand Sunday, when /tg/ comes together and makes their own Stand every (you guessed it) Sunday.

The /tg/ interpretation of the [[Eversor]] Assassin is pretty much Dio Brando, down to him striking his trademark pose and crying "WRYYYY" before proceeding to cut up whatever enemy is in his way. Probably the most popular /tg/-JoJo relation, however, comes in the form of the YouTuber Bruva Alfabusa's "[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device]]" series, where he makes several references to JoJo throughout the series. The most popular reference is definitely the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9w_uoUHgiE Pillarstodes]; Adeptus Custodes based on the Pillar Men from Battle Tendency. This actually isn't that far off the mark, since there is in fact official (albeit old) art of shirtless Custodes. Still, the Pillarstodes are quite flamboyant and hedonistic, but nonetheless they're also kickass.

Of course, there's also a RPG based off of JoJo, [https://desu-usergeneratedcontent.xyz/tg/image/1444/25/1444251939283.pdf here.]

It wouldn't be surprising if Hirohiko Araki himself was a fa/tg/uy himself. He's mentioned in some lectures and interviews that he decided to create an RPG/board game-style system for JoJo where characters travel to different places to fight enemies, as seen in Stardust Crusaders onward.

For the story of a complete (but short-lived) JoJo campaign, see [[JoJo's Bizarre Storytime]].

==Generation Sagas (Parts)==
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure's Story unfolds over generations having completely different characters, settings, themes, and even art styles so technically the series should be called "JoJos' Bizare Adventures". The timeline progresses linearly so every Part happens in the order they were published but, for the most part, each story is isolated so it's possible to start anywhere and not miss much. Additionally, each Part takes a different approach to story-telling along with differing with art styles which could almost make any Part after Phantom Blood and Battle Tendency seem like a completely different series. In fact, it's very common for details of characters' designs changing during their first appearance or the art style changing completely within a few chapters.
===Part 1: Phantom Blood===
[[File:Phantom Blood.jpeg||thumb|right|200px|''Phantom Blood'' cover]]
Here's where the [https://youtube/yF00xX-p28Y Story of Jojo] begins - with a Victorian Aristocrat in the 1880s named George Joestar, who becomes the only survivor of a horrible carriage crash. Mistaking the depraved scavenger Dario Brando for a Good Samaritan, he offers the Cockney lowlife a favor, which he eventually uses to get George to adopt his son, the ruthlessly ambitious, amoral and driven Dio Brando, when he dies. This leads to much suffering for George's son, the goodhearted (if rather dimwitted) Jonathan Joestar, as Dio resents him for his privilege and starts to bully him horribly. While Jonathan eventually learns to stand up for himself and even becomes quote-unquote “friends” with Dio, this all comes to a boil years later when George eventually falls ill and Jonathan discovers a letter from Dario outlining symptoms that look eerily familiar.

As it turns out, Dio is poisoning George to steal the Joestar Fortune for himself. Jonathan confronts him and proves his guilt with the assistance of a trustworthy criminal named Robert E. O. Speedwagon (remember that name, it will be very important), whom he met while gathering evidence of Dio’s crimes. This leads Dio to renounce his humanity and use the power of the Stone Mask to become a vampire, but Jojo manages to trap him in the burning wreckage of the Joestar Mansion during their fight. Unfortunately, Dio barely survives and escapes to repair his body while causing all kinds of chaos. With the aid of mysterious Italian martial artist William Antonio Zeppeli, Jonathan masters a mystical martial art utilizing Hamon, an energy that is anathema to the undead: Best described as harnessing the power of the sun through yoga breathing. Jonathan eventually defeats Dio, and all is well as Jonathan marries the love of his life before disaster strikes. While Jonathan and his wife depart by boat for his honeymoon, Dio returns once again and mortally wounds Jonathan, who is able to set the ship ablaze before dying from the attack. Jonathan's pregnant wife escapes in Dio's coffin with a baby she found just before hiding away, continuing the Joestar Bloodline.

Being the first Part of these Bizarre Adventures, Phantom Blood sets the tone for the rest of the series with its over-the-top violence and strange villains. Phantom Blood is a sign of its time with the story being equivocal to your typical shounen manga, but it obviously has some unique factors. Some would say Jonathan is a boring protagonist and that Dio is what makes the Part shine, or that Dio HIMSELF is a boring and generic villain, but regardless, Phantom Blood lands the ground work for the rest of the series. The anime adaptation cuts a noteworthy amount of content to the point that it may be beneficial to both read ''and'' watch Phantom Blood.

===Part 2: Battle Tendency===
[[File: Battle Tendency.jpeg|thumb|left|200px|''Battle Tendency'' cover]]
In the late 1930s, Joseph Joestar, grandson of Jonathan Joestar, is the second Joestar to get into strife when an elderly Speedwagon is seemingly killed by an old ally-turned vampire, Straights. Straights inadvertently allows Nazis to claim Speedwagon's recent discovery which preludes the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUhVCoTsBaM awakening of the Pillar Men]. These ungodly ancient (and ''fabulous'') near-demigods created the vampirizing Stone Masks as part of a process to find a way around their own weakness to sunlight. Determined to defeat the Pillar Men, Joseph partners with the late William Zeppeli's grandson, Caesar Zeppeli, to defeat them just after they awaken. Joseph and Caesar fail, leading to Joseph being forced to defeat the Pillar Men in 30 days before he dies and/or the Pillar Men find what need to become the Ultimate Lifeforms. With the help of Lisa Lisa, a Master of the Ripple (Hamon), and Stroheim, an extremely hammy Nazi Cyborg, Joseph is able to defeat the Pillar Men's leader by launching him into outer space using a volcano.

Joseph's trickery, the inventiveness of the fights, and outright ''bizarre'' nature of this Part make it the favorite of many with the anime only multiplying its popularity with added flair like [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnmH7qQ0AVM Bloody Stream]. Battle Tendency cements the fact that in JoJo smarts are just as important as raw power, as even when up against seemingly unbeatable opponents, planning and quick thinking prove critical to victory.

===Part 3: Stardust Crusaders===
[[File:Stardust Crusaders.jpeg|thumb|right|200px|''Stardust Crusaders'' cover]]
In the 1980s, half-Japanese high-school delinquent Jotaro Kujo takes up the role of hero when his grandfather, Joseph Joestar, reveals that Dio Brando has returned after assimilating the body of Jonathan Joestar, and is now in possession of strange new powers. Jotaro had locked himself in jail due to his "evil spirit" possessing him, but Joseph reveals that this spirit is Jotaro's Stand, a manifestation of his life energy brought on by Dio's revival. When they learn that Dio (now called DIO for some reason) is aware of them and that Jotaro's mother, Holly Kujo, is slowly dying from her Stand, Joseph and Jotaro set out with a Muslim fortune teller, Muhammad Avdol, to find DIO in Egypt within 50 days. Almost immediately, the group is attacked by other Stand Users who have been sent by DIO to kill them; despite these attacks they find allies in the Japanese student Noriaki Kakyoin and the French buffoon Jean-Pierre Polnareff, both of whom were brainwashed by DIO. After crossing into Egypt, the Crusaders recruit a Stand-wielding dog named Iggy before their final trek to DIO's mansion as Holly's condition worsens. In the end, despite DIO possessing the power to stop time, Jotaro defeats him and saves his mother and the rest of world from DIO's ambitions, but at the cost of dear friends.

This is by far the most well known and iconic part of Jojo, with the introduction of Stands being very well received as they allowed the series to breakaway and become truly unique among its peers. Whereas most fighting series suffer from power creep issues, Stands presented a totally novel solution by having each ability have their own strengths and weaknesses, and with battles being won by the creativity of the person wielding it. The arc also cemented the multi-generational aspect of the series by bringing back former protagonists and antagonists, tying them directly into the plot. For the longest time, it was the only Part both prominently featured in the United States AND given its own animated adaptation prior to the 2012 anime. While Parts 1 & 2 only received inclusions into old cross-over games, Part 3 has an SNES RPG (Japan-only but has been translated) and an arcade fighting game that contributed significantly to its popularity state-side. Before the release of the 2012 anime, it would have been typical to see Part 3 represent the JoJo series in crossovers.
There's also an [[wat|American bootleg]] called [http://imgur.com/gallery/J6PJz Diesel] that never survived beyond issue one, and features what is basically an "Americanized" version of the N'Doul fight with ''Geb'' being made of blood instead of water.

===Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable===
[[File:Diamond is Unbreakable.jpeg|left|thumb|200px|''Diamond is Unbreakable'' cover]]
It's the year 1999 in the Japanese suburb of fictional town, Morioh, and the now 28-year-old Jotaro meets a high-schooler named Koichi Hirose while looking for someone named Josuke Higashikata. Jotaro reveals to Josuke three facts: First, he is Jotaro's uncle, despite the age difference; second, his father is a 79-year-old Englishman (i.e. Joseph Joestar); finally, there is a looming threat in Morioh (later revealed to be a murderer). After dealing with the killer, it is revealed that there is someone in Morioh awakening Stands in people by using a Golden Arrow (used to further connect this with Part 3) for an unknown purpose, so Josuke and Jotaro resolve to find him. When the culprit, Keicho Nijimura, reveals his intentions, he is killed by Red Hot Chili Pepper, one of the aforementioned Stands who then steals the Arrow. Akira Otoishi, RHCP's User, learns that Joseph is coming to help find him, so he plots to murder Joseph as he arrives in order to get away clean, but this plan backfires and he is arrested thanks to Keicho's younger brother, Okuyasu Nijimura.

Eventually Koichi and the surly, eccentric mangaka Rohan Kishibe find out there is a serial killer in Morioh from the ghost of his first victim, who requests that they find him. Soon enough, the killer, Yoshikage Kira, is forced to reveal his identity and disguises himself in order to hide from the heroes while trying to keep his desire to kill in check. Fortunately, Kira's cover is blown thanks to the son of the man whose identity he stole, Hayato Kawajiri, and he is killed in a final altercation. With Kira's threat ended, Joseph and Jotaro leave Morioh in the hands of its citizens, The Golden Heart of Morioh.

This Part marks the full change of Stand names going from Gods and Tarot Cards to songs, albums, and bands (leading to plenty of renaming in subs and dubs to avoid copyright issues) along with their powers being more specialised rather than Part 3 Stands' mostly vague and superabundant abilities. Here we learn what causes Stands to awaken along with a more detailed list of rules for Stands. It is important to note that Part 4 is when Araki's art style completely shifts from the almost blocky, muscled style of Part 3 to a softer, slimmer and more detailed and flamboyant style. This part is also important theme-wise, as the major focus of it is how normal people can live with stands and blend in with society, something which would be integral with future arcs, though trouble stills comes their way because somehow Stand users tend to be drawn to each other. It is also a lot more laid-back with almost half of the chapters being about the characters', mostly Josuke's and Okuyasu's, daily misadventures, drawing similarities at times to the slice-of-life genre.

===Part 5: Vento Aureo===
[[File:Vento Aureo.jpg|right|thumb|200px|''Vento Aureo'' cover]]
It's Italy in 2001, Giorno Giovanna (the son of Dio using Jonathan's body, though Giorno never knows this) is a kid with aspirations of becoming a "Gang Star" with the help of his stand, "Gold Experience". After accidentally killing a gangster, Giorno finds himself immersed in the world of the mafia and eventually becomes a member of "Passione" after sparing Bruno Bucciarati. In Passione, he works with Bruno's Gang to move higher in the mafia's ranks and fight off rival gang members that are doing the same. When they are tasked with retrieving the Passione Boss' daughter, Trish Una, so he can kill her, the gang defects and resolve to find the Boss' identity and eliminate him. After fighting off Passione's Assassins, the gang learns of a way to defeat the Boss' Stand, King Crimson (which nobody knows on how it works), from an informant who plans to give them a Stand Arrow. The Boss, now revealed to be named "Diavolo", switches focus to taking the Arrow for himself so he can finally be rid of the gang and take over the world. In a long and intense encounter, Giorno manages to use the Arrow on Gold Experience to turn it into Gold Experience Requiem, which has the insanely overpowered ability of negating any hostile action towards Giorno. Giorno locks Diavolo in an eternal cycle of deaths, and with Diavolo gone, Giorno is able to take his place as the Boss of Passione with his friends as his top officers.

For a long time, Part 5 was considered by many to be one of the weaker entries in the series, mostly due to inconsistencies in Gold Experience's power and an apparently uninteresting character in Giorno due to very flat scanlations removing much of his personality while making several Stands nearly incomprehensible such as Gold Experience and King Crimson. However, newer and better translations are quickly turning opinions to the better. The new anime adaptation also gives it the depth it deserves. Despite whatever flaws there may be, Vento Aureo is still worth reading due to the interesting Stands and villains along with Araki's now more detailed art style. It's especially worth noting the increased attention to villains in this Part, as we get to see actual interaction between them and even character development in some cases.
Vento Aureo is also the first Part besides Part 3 to get its own videogame which is also made by Capcom, and while it doesn't allow one to play all of the notable fights in the story, the rest is detailed in optional cutscenes that can be unlocked. Lastly, this Part is to Italy as Part 3 is to America as this Part is more prominently featured in Italy and is the only Part to have multiple novel side-stories besides Part 3 with at least one being canon.

===Part 6: Stone Ocean===
[[File:Stone Ocean.jpg|left|thumb|150px|''Stone Ocean'' cover]]
Jolyne Cujoh was arrested for a crime she didn't commit (though she did have legitimate priors) in 2015 and is then sent to Green Dolphin Street, a maximum-security prison in Florida. Though her dad Jotaro couldn't bail her out, he did give a small locket (containing a fragment of a Stand Arrow), allowing her to develop her Stand, ''Stone Free'', in order for her to survive and get to the bottom of the conspiracy surrounding it. With the help of other Stand Users, Hermes Costello, Foo Fighters (F.F.), Weather Report, Narciso Anasui, and Emporio they pick up on the trail of Father Enrico Pucci. Pucci is a priest and DIO's most trusted follower who is trying in enact DIO's ultimate plan: to "reach Heaven". Pucci uses his Stand, ''White Snake'' (which has the ability to physically take a person's stand and memories), to steal Star Platinum and put Jotaro in a comatose state. Jolyne and her gang eventually escape prison in pursuit of Pucci who had gathered DIO's Sons excluding Giorno, but they fail to stop the gang from retrieving Jotaro's Disc. Using a bone that DIO had given him, Pucci transforms White Snake into ''C-Moon'', which is capable of finding the optimal point for another transformation to occur. At the Kennedy Space Center, Pucci successfully transforms C-Moon into ''Made In Heaven'' which has the power to accelerate time, the culmination of DIO's plan. Knowing they can't kill Pucci, Jolyne sacrifices herself to send Emporio out to sea where the horizon is accelerating into a void. Waking up back in Green Dolphin Street where Emporio learns from Pucci that they are in a new universe devoid of those killed by Pucci, and the survivors have been implanted with knowledge of their future which is what Pucci calls "happiness". Desperately, Emporio flees to his Ghost Room where he reveals that he has equipped Weather Report's Stand Disc and quickly kills Pucci, "Following the path of Justice is true Fate."

With Pucci's death, the universe experiences another change, where Emporio finds people resembling Hermes, Anasui, and Jolyne. This Jolyne (Irene), invites Emporio and this Hermes to ride with her and Anakiss (Anasui) to go meet with Irene's father for approval of her and Anakiss' marriage. Emporio begins weeping as they drive off before picking up a hitchhiker resembling Weather Report, Stone Ocean comes to an end in this new universe.

A unique factor in Stone Ocean compared to previous Parts is that Stand Users tend to fight alongside their Stands rather than relying completely on their abilities. Overall, Part 6 is the last Part to involve any influence from Dio Brando as well as the end of the original JoJoverse with future Parts taking place in a different universe. Stone Ocean can be considered the most ''bizarre'' Part due to the more crude and outlandish nature of some characters combined with some of the stranger Stands and events. Despite what flaws it may have, Part 6 is just as worthy of a read as any other saga of JoJo.

===Part 7: Steel Ball Run===
[[File:Steel Ball Run.jpg|right|thumb|200px|''Steel Ball Run'' cover]]
The timeline resets to the 1800's, in a universe mostly unrelated to the original Jojo timeline, save for similar characters.
In this alternate universe, paraplegic ex-jockey Johnny Joestar and Italian executioner Gyro Zeppeli cross paths and decide, for better or for worse, to partner up and participate in the Steel Ball Run, a race that spans the breadth of the United States as a test of endurance for both horse and rider (though a horse isn’t required, most participants choose to use ‘em). Johnny was lauded as a genius jockey, but after an accident, he ended up crippled. He was deeply depressed until he met Zeppeli, who could use a mysterious power called the Spin (this universe's version of Hamon), which is able to make Johnny's legs move for a moment. Along the way, they uncover the real purpose of the race when they become entangled with the Parts of the Saint's Corpse, the mummified body of Jesus Christ (seriously), which bestows its owner with incredible power. Johnny also is tutored in the art of the Spin, and develops his own Stand, named Tusk, which can spin and shoot his fingernails like bullets.

As it turns out, the reason the race was even held was because President Funny Valentine wanted to own the complete Corpse, using the race and its participants as pawns in order to accomplish this goal. President Valentine wishes to use to completed Corpse of Jesus in order to bring prosperity, wealth and luck to the United States. Though his goals are ultimately altruistic in their outlook, Johnny and Gyro still oppose this plan because it requires that only America prospers, while everything else is stuck struggling. However, Funny Valentine's Stand, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap(D4C), has the extremely unique ability of dimension-hopping, allowing Valentine to escape almost any hostile encounters and access alternate versions of people and things. The President ultimately gains all the Corpse Parts, and gains a new ability called Love Train, which sends any "misfortune" into another place, making conventional attacks useless. Only when Gyro and Johnny develop a special Super Spin, which is a perfect, infinite rotation, can their Stands Ball Breaker and Tusk Act 4 breach Love Train's dimensional walls and defeat Valentine. Although Gyro is killed in the final confrontation against Valentine, Johnny is victorious, and moves in to finish the Steel Ball Run race. Unfortunately for Johnny, Valentine's last plan was to bring in an alternate version of jockey Diego Brando, who possesses the same The World used in Part 3. Johnny and Tusk prove almost equally matched to The World's time stop, but Johnny ends up defeated. However, Diego is stopped from carrying out President Valentine's plan to use the corpse parts when he is killed after he collides with another, deceased Diego Brando's head, destroying both as per the laws of alternate universes.

Steel Ball Run differs slightly from the other parts in that Stands do not do much fighting like the ones in previous incarnations of Jojo. Instead, Stands are more like special abilities that help the user fight, and enhances the capabilities of whatever weapon the user uses, be they fingernails, steel balls, or revolvers. It's worth mentioning that this Part is generally considered one of the best parts in the series (next to Battle Tendency) due to a sharp increase in the art and writing quality and a greater focus on character development and drama. Seriously the art in this Part is fucking gorgeous, go read it.

===Part 8: JoJolion===
[[File:Jojolion.jpg|left|thumb|125px|''JoJolion'' cover]]
We're back in Morioh, but not as we know it. The eight part of JoJo is based around the SBR version of the 2011 earthquake that hit Japan.

It's some years after SBR, and Morioh was recently wracked with terrible earthquakes which make these creepy images on the ground that gets ripped up. An unfortunate girl by the name of Yasuho Hirose discovers a body among the mess and rescues him. Though he's got no memories and is quirky almost to the point of stupidity, she decides to help the amnesiac 'Josuke' discover his real identity and some really wacky adventures ensue as they find various clues and odd characters that know something about his past. Later, 'Josuke' is taken in the wealthy yet enigmatic Higashikata family, and gets caught up in a conspiracy involving his real identity, human-like creatures made of stone, and a fruit with mystical healing abilities.

This is probably one of ''those'' parts of JoJo, the ones that are known for lots and lots of [[Skub|skub]]. The longer it dragged on, the more it divided the fans. A lot of those discussions are about the overall shift from battles to a plot, the plot itself dragging on longer than it should... or not, abandoned plotpoints from the beginnings that some fans thought were much more interesting than the ones we got. So it's up to you to read and form your opinion... or not.
=== Part 9:JOJOLANDS ===
Part 9, tentatively called JOJOLANDS, was announced in the last volume of Jojolion. Nothing is known about it, aside from the fact that it will star the SBR's Joseph Joestar's descendants and a rabbit for some reason.

The first issue released in February 2023, featuring Jodio Joestar in Hawaii in what is apparently a story about getting rich.

==Characters==
===The Joestars===
====Jonathan Joestar (Part 1)====
[[File: Jonathan JoJo.png|thumb|right|175px|Holy shit, you could grate cheese on those abs.]]
Jonathan is pretty much the archetypal gentleman: Well-mannered, intelligent, and damned determined to protect that which he values. There are many words to describe him: [[This guy|kind, caring, forgiving, honorable]], strong, tall, handsome, clever, and unfortunately, unfortunate. Jonathan was born into a rich family, far away from the cold, unforgiving slums that Dio grew up in, and this was enough reason for Dio to completely hate him. After Dio beats him in a boxing match, assaults Jonathan's girlfriend Erina, and burns his dog Danny alive in a furnace, Jonathan is furious and confronts Dio in the Mansion foyer. Their brief encounter is life-changing as they both discover the Stone Mask, and Jonathan finds his inner strength that allows him to actually fight back.

Years later, Jonathan is an [[Space Marine|absolute tank]], with it taking 3 people to slow him down in a rugby game, and even then he is still able to pass the ball high in the air. Jonathan is also a scholar, working in archaeology due to his interest in the Stone Mask, and during his work he discovers Dio's plot to poison his father and inherit the Joestar fortune. Making his way to one of the most dangerous places in London, Ogre Street, he befriends the criminal Speedwagon, who helps him prove Dio's guilt. When Dio decides to be a tosser and reject his humanity, Jonathan fights him throughout the mansion and succeeds in impaling him on the statue in the foyer and escapes the burning mansion. Some time after Dio's burning, William Antonio Zeppeli appears, instantaneously healing Jonathan with the ripple and revealing Dio's survival. With this new information, Jonathan resolves to hunt down Dio and put an end to his incredibly ungentlemanly vampire shenanigans and learns the ripple from Zeppeli in order to do so. Their journey has Jonathan killing a [[what|zombified Jack the Ripper]], learning of Dio's new ice powers, and gaining the sword Luck & Pluck from Bruford the Zombie Black Knight. When Jonathan's neck is broken by the other knight, Tarkus, Zeppeli sacrifices himself trying save him which leads to Jonathan becoming ''even buffer'' and destroying Tarkus. Meeting up with the other Ripple users, Dire, Straits, and Tonpetty, Jonathan reaches Dio's castle and defeats him in their final battle, ending the fabulous vampire menace. In the proceeding time, Jonathan marries Erina and they prepare to leave on their honeymoon vacation before a completely unlucky series of events occur as Dio is revealed to have barely survived their fight as severed head. Being shot in the throat with Dio's ''Space Ripper Stingy Eyes'', Jonathan loses the ability to breathe and therefore use the Ripple. Using his Last Ripple, Jonathan rigs the boat to explode and holds Dio's head as Erina hides in Dio's coffins as the ship burns around them. In his last breaths Jonathan expresses to Dio his feelings of attachment to him despite how terribly Dio had treated him over the years and passes away before Dio can reply. In the hundred year gap between Phantom Blood and Stardust Crusaders, Dio was able to cut off Jonathan's head and take over his body.
A sign of the era that Jojo's Bizarre Adventure started in, Jonathan physically resembles another [[Fist of the North Star|chiseled, heroic anime protagonist]] that punched his enemies to death. To summarize Jonathan, he was a [[Muscle Wizard|Muscled Scholar]] who fought with Power of the Sun and an all-around gentleman.

Despite being the only Joestar to never have a Stand, it's believed that he would've had one similar to Hermit Purple based on Dio's abilities using Jonathan's body.

====Joseph Joestar (Part 2, 3, and 4)====
[[File: Joseph JoJo.jpeg|thumb|left|For context, he's peeping on a woman taking a bath... who turns out to be his mother. We've come a long way.]]
Whereas his grandfather Jonathan is a gentleman, Joseph is a good-natured but impulsive punk with a temper and a penchant for doing just plain weird things. He is completely devoted to the people he cares for as swore vengeance on Straits for seemingly killing Speedwagon and worrying his grandmother. Joseph is known for his trickster behavior, using his [[Mork|brutal cunning]] to be [[Gork|cunningly brutal]] and turning the ''Tide of Battle'' in his favor. His famous trick is his being able to predict what his enemy is going to say, followed by them repeating the sentence word for word and being momentarily stunned by their predictability.

Unlike Jonathan, who gained the Ripple through formal training, Joseph was born with the ability, but it's not that strong and he can't control it as well as a true master. Though he doesn't have exact mastery, Joseph manages to use the Ripple in creative ways to get out of some dire situations. These traits, combined with his eccentric behavior, makes Joseph one of the most beloved characters in the series. [[File:Wha-what.png|right|300px]]

We first meet Joseph when he arrives in New York with Erina and befriends Smokey. Then, after dealing with a rowdy racist ruffian, a shady guy informs him of Speedwagon's death (said guy subsequently gets duffed for upsetting Grandma Erina). Joseph assures Erina he will protect and is ready when Straits attacks him at the diner where he utilizes his trademark brutally cunning brutality to outsmart Straits including The Joestar Secret Technique. When he learns from a dying Straits that Speedwagon is still alive and of the Man in the Pillar, Joseph sets out to rescue him from a Nazi stronghold in Mexico.

After cleverly tricking (absolutely failing) to trick two guards with his Tequila Girl disguise, Joseph still infiltrates the base in time to save Speedwagon and Stroheim from recently awakened Santana. After messing around for a bit then finding out that his Ripple protects him from being absorbed by the Pillar Man, with Stroheim's sacrifice, Joseph is able to turn Santana back into stone. At Speedwagon's bidding, Joseph meets Caesar Zeppeli (the grandson of the late Will A. Zeppeli) who resents the Joestars for their role in his grandfather's death; this along with Caesar's overall personality puts him and Joseph at odds.

Later when they face Wamuu and quickly realize they're outmatched, Joseph attempts a suicide tactic to save Speedwagon and Caesar but only ends up getting poisoned rings clamped around his heart and throat by Wamuu and Esidisi. This means Joseph is forced to train his Hamon so that he can face the Pillar Men again or die from the poison. Starting his training, he meets the strict Lisa Lisa and her assistant Suzie Q, and bonds with Caesar through their grueling training. When Esidisi appears in pursuit of the Red Stone, Joseph's discourse with him leads to the famous banner and he manages to outsmart the ancient monster man with some difficulty. Joseph locks in his relationship with Suzie Q before going to Switzerland in preparation for the final battle.

He has an argument with Caesar which leads to Caesar going to fight Wamuu on his own, resulting in his death and final Ripple which strengthens Joseph's resolve. When he defeats Wamuu with Caesar's headband, Joseph shows respect for Wamuu who despite killing Caesar, allowed Joseph to receive the final Ripple out of respect and he salutes the fallen Pillar Man as he passes into the wind. There is no such respect for Kars, who backstabs Lisa Lisa in their duel but he is eventually outwitted by Joseph and his plans seemingly foiled when Stroheim arrives with reinforcements. When Kars becomes the Ultimate Lifefrom, Joseph essentially sacrifices himself to kamikaze with an immortal god into active volcano, losing his left hand in the process. While everyone is grieving at his funeral, he miraculously shows up to everyone's surprise with his new wife, Suzie Q, and goes on to become a real estate mogul and start a family.

=====Part 3=====
Returning in Part 3, Joseph is 50 years older than he was in Battle Tendency, though he's still just as buff and silly as his younger self. Thanks to DIO's awakening, Joseph received his Stand, "'''''Hermit Purple'''''", which are purple, prehensile vines that he can use to project and materialize images in an oracle-like fashion in addition to grabbing objects. Joseph takes the initiative and arrives in Japan with Avdol to inform Jotaro of his Stand's true nature and DIO. Before he can formulate a plan to take on DIO, he and the others suddenly find themselves on a time limit when Holly becomes sick due to her Stand so he resolves along with Jotaro, Avdol and Noriaki Kakyoin to travel to Egypt and end DIO's evil. While Joseph is older and wiser, he along with Polnareff bring some welcome light-heartedness to the 50 day Crusade with his overreactions and sayings, "OH MY GOD!". Joseph's biggest accomplishments throughout the adventure are killing Empress, defeating Mariah with Avdol's help, assisting Jotaro against Terrence D'Arby, and telling Jotaro The World's secret. He is seemingly killed when DIO throws a knife into his throat and later sucks a majority of the blood from his body, but Joseph manages to survive this by the time Jotaro performs a blood transplant from DIO's corpse.
A few years prior to Stardust Crusaders, Joseph ended up having an affair with Tomoko Higshikata which would lead to the birth of Josuke. Meaning that he used the ''Joestar Sex-Drive'' to have a child with a 20-year-old woman at the age of 63 while still married to Suzie Q., which she was understandably furious about. For some reason, in the OVA his hair is noticeably a faded blond.
=====Part 4=====
He returns yet again in Part 4 at the age of 79, but it's clear that time hasn't been good to him as his hearing isn't so great and he has to walk with a cane. He's the reason Jotaro arrives in Morioh as Hermit Purple revealed an image of Angelo's Aqua Necklace instead of Josuke when he wanted to see his face. Joseph later has to be protected from Red Hot Chili Pepper as he's escorted to Morioh by boat and finally meets Josuke in person. While he tries to bond with Josuke, he comes off as a senile old man due to his general belligerence before they meet the Invisible Baby. In an attempt to impress Josuke, he slits his wrist so they can use his blood to find the Invisible Baby who had fallen into water. Naming the baby Shizuka, Joseph becomes more lively and no longer carries a cane by the time he leaves Morioh with Jotaro.

Joseph is still alive by the time Part 6 happens and in Araki's words "a little dumber" though he doesn't make a physical appearance. The fact that he wasn't outright killed in the original universe means Joseph was able to avoid the Joestar Curse of dying at young age, but he also broke the rule of finding only one love so there's that. Additionally, in the Steel Ball Run's universe, the Joestar Family Tree includes Joseph Joestar and Suzie Q. meaning that he has a counterpart in that universe, who is known as "Fumi" (And that universe's version of Hermit Purple has a whole body).

====Jotaro Kujo (Part 3, 4, and 6)====
[[File: Jotaro JoJo.png|thumb|right|"My Stand will judge you!"]]
Grandson of Joseph, and the son of a virtually nonexistent jazz player (Sadao) and a housewife (Joseph's daughter Holly). Was a happy normal kid growing up but then started getting into fights with gangsters by the time he was 17. Would almost be an unlikeable prick were it not for his badassness, unflappable demeanour, and being a shonen protagonist.

Jotaro's Stand is essentially what kicks off Part 3, as he locks himself up in a local jail because he has no clue what the hell it even is. After Joseph and Avdol convince him that it's not some [[Daemonhost|unholy possession]], Jotaro then joins along in an adventure which sees him travel the world and punch the fuck out of a lot of people. While less flamboyant than his grandfather, he's every bit as clever as he uses his unflappable demeanor to bluff his way out of numerous life-or-death encounters.

His Stand, "'''''Star Platinum'''''" is a blue-ish muscleman with long hair with so many powers it becomes pretty clear how much of a protagonist he is: Punching shit really fast, a stretchy finger, the ability to pick out tiny details with precision, and (eventually) the power to stop time as "'''''Star Platinum: The World'''''".

Part 4 sees him help out Josuke with taking care of Stand business on behalf of the Speedwagon Foundation, but otherwise standing back to do other stuff. That said, he's still just as powerful, even moreso because he finally mastered the ability to stop time itself. Also despite being older he's drawn in a way that makes him look younger than in Part 3, because Araki loves putting qualities of himself into his characters.

He returns again in Part 6 after finding out that the jail where his daughter is being held has its own issues with Stands, and that Pucci has plans that involve Dio. At this point it becomes clear what his flaws are, as it's revealed that while he is a badass, he's also pretty useless in anything not involving being a protagonist, like being an even halfway decent dad. Using Star Platinum's Time Stop abilities also took a toll on his body, alongside him ending up in a coma due to Whitesnake stealing his Stand and memories (shown by the durability stat dropping from an A to an E), which might explain why he doesn't put in much of a performance during the arc. He ultimately dies in the final fight with Pucci, when the latter pulled [[Grimdark|Dio's knife trick on Jolyne, leaving him screaming in horror and without enough time to stop Made In Heaven, who splits his head in two.]]

He also looks like a commissar which makes him even more badass, who doesn't want [[Awesome|commissar Jotaro?]]

Fun fact: with Japanese naming conventions (placing the surname before the given name), his name would be Ku'''jo Jo'''taro, making him the first Joestar to literally have "JoJo" in his name!

Became a marine biologist, loves him some Dolphins.

====Josuke Higashikata (Part 4)====
[[File: Josuke JoJo.jpeg|thumb|left|150px|Never seen such [[awesome|awesomeness]] in my life.]]
The big shocker here: His father is Joseph Joestar. This in itself is pretty damn scary, as the old man was able to still get kids, though this isn't without consequence. As such, he lives with his mom and grandfather (a policeman). Then he runs into Jotaro and things go very... Bizarre.

Josuke is a bit of a goof like his dad, and sports serious pride in his pompadour to the point that he'll beat the shit out of someone for dissing it. And like his dad, he has a penchant for getting into trouble with his various get-rich-quick schemes. On the flip side, one could say that he's too nice for his own good and his desire to be kind can sometimes put him in bad situations, though he's certainly not [[Stupid Good]]. He is, however, very touchy about his hair and insulting it is a surefire way to catch an assbeating. His Stand, "'''''Crazy Diamond'''''", is able to punch things really fast and restore things that were broken if he knows how they work, a power that could be seriously powerful if he puts his mind to it. However, this is incapable of bringing back the dead (he learns this the hard way), and if he uses this power when mad, things get messed up. Oh, and he can't use it on himself. He is, in true JoJo fashion, able to think of creative uses of an otherwise rigidly defined powerset - he can cut fragments from a wallet photo and "repair" the whole wallet, or "repair" an Italian dish to see if its ingredients include, for instance, poison - both of these are completely plot relevant, by the way.

Josuke sums up something missing from other primary Joestars - someone thrust into BIZARRE circumstances despite having no relation to their cause or origin and overcoming them despite this.

====Giorno Giovanna (Part 5)====
[[File:Giorno JoJo.jpeg|thumb|right|175px|Trust us, this is as much personality as he gets in the scans.]]
The son of Dio using Jonathan's body, making his legitimacy as a Joestar up for debate. Although, less talked about is whether this makes him a [[Dhampir]].

His personality is, simply put, a combination of Dio and Jonathan. He retains Dio's ambition for power, and lusts after leadership of the gang Passione. He is also ruthless to his enemies, and is not above murdering them, or even forcing them to swallow a gun. However, he possesses the Joestar spirit, and genuinely cares of his friends and innocent people. In fact, the main reason he joins Passione is to reform it into a better, kinder organization. Unfortunately, the initial scans and translations of Vento Aureo were dogshit, having butchered Giorno's reserved, steadfast, almost poetic manner of speech into bland, unimaginative and occasionally incomprehensible statements. Because of this, most of the fanbase sees him as boring, unremarkable, and little more than a plot device, though this has fortunately lessened with the anime adaptation. The fact that his Stand, "'''''Gold Experience'''''", has some really bullshit powers doesn't help either. To iterate, his stand can imbue inanimate objects with life (like turning suitcases into frogs or motorcycles into snakes or bullets into trees and beetles or buttons into FUCKING HANDS AND TONGUES) with no respect to conservation of mass and, like Crazy Diamond above, reattach them. He can simply conjure up replacement body parts to heal his comrades, and to add even more bullshit, any damage done to one of his creations will be reflected back to the assailant (though this ability is tapered off in later arcs because even Araki knew how broken it was). In contrast to Crazy Diamond this power ''is'' able to resurrect the dead, though it only works on very recent kills and the resulting beings are essentially zombies living on borrowed time. He also has the power to rapidly accelerate the thought process of something he punches, though this is only brought up in one arc and then never seen again.

At the end of the arc, it becomes even more bullshit as Giorno gains "'''''Gold Experience Requiem'''''", which has the power to nullify actions. Basically, if he doesn’t like something he can go [[Iron heart surge|“nope”]] and Gold Experience Requiem will rewind time to make sure it never happened, leaving only memories. It even works within Diavolo's skipped time of 10 seconds, meaning that it will take action, ''no matter what you do''. It's theorized not even The World's timestop can affect Gold Experience Requiem. This also means that he can (and does) reset Diavolo's death, making for a rather horrifying cycle of death and rebirth.

====Jolyne Cujoh (Part 6)====
[[File: Jolyne JoJo.jpeg|thumb|left|175px|Doesn't matter that she has masculine facial features, she's still hot.]]
Daughter of Jotaro Kujo, the only female Joestar to bear the nickname "JoJo" thus far, though she beats the shit out of anyone who calls her by her nickname. She's essentially her ancestor Joseph if all his bad traits were pushed up a couple of notches, making for a hot-blooded, rebellious, foul-mouthed, quick-tempered pervert. Seriously, we first see her when a prison guard catches her masturbating in her cell, and at one point she confesses to envying/admiring snails since, as [[dickgirl|hermaphrodites]], they can fuck anything and everything they cross paths with. She's got a huge anti-authoritarian streak, and at first, the series seems set on deconstructing the "Joestar Family Traits" and showing how they can make you an unlikeable prick who needlessly gets yourself into trouble. Luckily, the surfacing of the generation's big bad and her finding allies she can actually share her ''positive'' traits with quickly brings her back into line with being the hero.

She's either insanely lucky, or a lot smarter than she appears - which is good, because, on the surface of it, her Stand, "'''''Stone Free'''''", is one of the weakest, as it lets her turn her body partially or completely into string. Sounds lame, right? Wrong. She can do all sorts of shit with that string, from spying on people by using it to catch sounds to tying people up to making stitches to turning into monomolecular wire and reducing enemies to so much hamburger. Also, because the Stand channels its powers through her body, she can use her powers ''and'' have Stone Free do its own thing at the same time, so she's got a giant ghost-buddy that will beat the shit out of you whilst she's snaring 'n' slicing with her string. She has extreme daddy issues with Jotaro, shitting on him until near the end of Stone Ocean. It is somewhat justified though, considering he abandoned her and her mother when she was young. She ultimately gives her life to save Emporio from Made In Heaven, staying behind to fight Pucci to the very end.

====Johnny Joestar (Part 7)====
[[File: Johnny JoJo.png|thumb|right|200px|Johnny is fun, even if he is hypocritical.]]
The SBR version of Jonathan from Part 1, Johnny is easily the most shit-on Joestar of them all. He was a genius jockey raised by a rich horse trainer and racer and pampered through his youth, kind of turning him into a spoiled brat. But later his older brother dies in a jockey accident that may or may not have been his fault, his father disowns him after telling him [[grimdark|"God has taken the wrong son",]] and later after cutting in front of a kid in line for a play, the kid ''pulls a gun and shoots him, paralyzing him from the waist down.'' Just to add sprinkles on this shit-fest his "friends" leave him, no one visits him in the hospital, and he is abused and beaten by the nurses. Truly, he is the Jonathan of the new timeline.

Somewhat notable for being a very-much-deliberate example of an asshole Joestar, even if Jolyne cornered that market one generation before. Compared to Jonathan, he's much more of a sarcastic, cynical asshole who mostly thinks of himself. However, when he is filled with determination or the urge to kill, his eyes fill with a dark flame, signaling a Johnny that absolutely will not compromise for his goals.

After he leaves the hospital he meets Gyro Zeppeli, whose spinning steel balls ignited a reflex within Johnny's crippled legs and made him stand up for an instant. Johnny immediately follows Gyro in the nation-wide Steel Ball Run race in order to learn the secret of the Spin and regain the use of his legs. Throughout the journey, he actually brightens up and becomes an overall better person, even if he doesn't win everything in the end.

His Stand "'''''Tusk'''''" enhances his powers of the Spin, allowing him to fire his fingernails like bullets. As Tusk evolves, his Spin gets more and more powerful, until eventually he is able to rotate his nails infinitely, creating what's effectively a mini-black hole that can rip through dimensions and warp through space and time. He also has occasional conversations with Jesus Christ himself, with Jesus usually offering Johnny words of guidance. He almost always rides a horse since he's a paraplegic, if Gyro isn't carrying him or he's not crawling. At the end of Steel Ball Run, having mastered the Spin, Johnny finally becomes able to walk again and marries with Rina Higashitaka.

Of all the Joestars, Johnny suffered the strangest death of them all. After he used Tusk to transfer Rina and George's Higashitaka stone curse upon himself, his head was crushed by a giant boulder thrown by [[Wat|a tree's Stand. Yes, even trees can have Stands.]]

====Josuke Higashikata (Part 8)====
[[File: Gappy JoJo.png|thumb|left|200px|The strangest Jojo yet.]]
Otherwise known as "Joey Four-Balls", "Gappy the Gap-tooth Wonder", "Jo2uke", and (worst of all) "Josuke Higashikata 8" in official media. He's essentially the JoJolion-timeline version of Josuke from Part 4 and he is an amnesiac who's looking for his origins and why people are trying to kill him. Personality-wise, he just as intelligent as previous Jojos but he's much more eccentric, having a calm demeanor most of the time while also showing some [[Mork|brutal cunning]] at others. At first, he was thought to be Part 8's equivalent of Yoshikage Kira, but that was dispelled when a would-be assassin realizes that Kira, among other things, was an utter narcissist.
Later its revealed that he's really Josuke and Kira (who's a Joestar in this timeline) fused together through a geographical anomaly that combines the DNA of two organisms inserted into the hole. This explains his gap-teeth, both of his eyes being different colors, his quadbollocks, and his Stand's appearance and powers.
His Stand is "'''''Soft & Wet'''''", which is able to create bubbles with stars on them that are capable of taking away properties from his intended targets. For example, he is able to take away a person's vision, making their eyes explode temporarily, take away sound, or even remove friction which causes people to slip and slide on the affected surface. He also has weird star-shaped ears.
Thanks to the merger that created Gappy, Soft & Wet also has some of Killer Queen's powers, like being able to make explosive bubble mines. Its ultimate power-up, "'''''Soft & Wet: Go Beyond'''''", allows Gappy to fire deadly bubble bombs from his birthmark, which can phase through walls and [[Wat|are completely unaffected by causality]], which ends up being the key to defeating Wonder of U for good.

====Jodio Joestar (Part 9)====
The new kid on the block, whose story seems to revolve around him earning a fortune upon some Tropical islands. He's supposedly a descendant of the SBR Joseph Joestar, which he immediately proves by beating up some corrupt cops sexually harassing his brother. He does this with his freaky hell-spider Stand "'''''November Rain'''''", which creates extremely heavy raindrops to keep falling on the cops' heads, likely also turning their eyes red.

===JoJo Allies (aka the "JoBros")===
Note: The allies are organized based on their originating part... because there are an ''assload'' of minor protagonists, and an increasingly large amount of minor villains.

====Part 1====
*'''Robert E.O. Speedwagon:''' Speedwagon is somewhat popular for being the only normal guy in a series about superpowered martial arts and vampires, with his only real "power" being his razor-sharp hat and big hammer. Also for the [[meme]] ''"Even Speedwagon is afraid!"'' (which wasn't even said by him in the anime, it was totally said by him in the manga). Despite being fairly average, he still manages to be good friend to Jonathan and Zeppeli. After Jonathan's death, he moves to America and becomes an oil tycoon. This business eventually becomes the Speedwagon Foundation, which is a vague organization dedicated to helping the Joestar family with things like Stands. Come Part 2, he's now an old man, and he gets kidnapped by Nazis because he knows something about a Pillar Man they discovered. Joseph bails them out and Speedwagon leads them to Italy, where they meet Caesar and Lisa Lisa. By this point, he kinda fades into the background, being an old man and all, but gets a final showing leading the German military forces against Kar's vampire minions. After the events of Part 2, he eventually passes away, without any family or heirs, but having left the Joestars and their descendants a semi-paramillitary organisation filled with cutting edge tech and resources to fight against any paranormal threats, something that becomes rather helpful in Parts 3 and 4.

*'''William A. Zeppeli:''' First off, he has a fabulous hat. Second off, he was trained in the Ripple by a man named Tonpetti after his father and the ship he was in sinks because of the Stone Mask. having been trained by a master, he manages to pull some fine tricks like shooting disks of wine as weapons and stretching his arms to punch things. He then trains Jonathan after learning that the Stone Mask is still around. He eventually dies in a fight with Tarkus ([[Tarkus|not the awesome bald mehreen]]) where he literally gets split in half with a chain and then gives his last life's energy to power up Jonathan. This in itself begins the long line of close allies (usually Zeppelis) sacrificing themselves for Joestars.

====Part 2====
*'''Caesar Zeppeli''': Grandson of Baron Zeppeli. A student of Lisa Lisa, he has a major chip on his shoulder as he blames the Joestar family for his grandfather's death. However, he also blames himself for the accidental death of his father shortly after discovering the Pillar Men in Rome. As a Hamon user, he's more experienced, even adapting a unique bubble projectile attack. Caesar dies fighting Wamuu because he gets impatient and goes after the Pillar Men alone, but not before putting up one hell of a fight. He hates Joseph's guts at first, but under Lisa-Lisa the two become [[gork|total]] [[mork|bros]], fighting by each other's sides until his death. Since he's Italian, he automatically makes women wet when he talks to them.

*'''Lisa Lisa''': Aka Elizabeth Joestar, Joseph's mother. She was forced to abandon Joseph and adopt a new identity when she discovered that her husband's murderer, who was also a top British military leader, was in fact a zombie, and killed him. She becomes the Hamon mentor for Caesar and Joseph, pushing them to their absolute limits to prepare for the Pillar Men. Lisa Lisa uses a special scarf that conducts Hamon in her fight against Kars. However, because Kars doesn't play fair, he nearly kills her and takes the Red Stone that she was guarding. Towards the end she tells Joseph that she's his mother... which, had she said so sooner, would've prevented him from spying on her bathing in an earlier scene. Considering she's 50 years old, she's an absolute MILF since looks like she's only in her early thirties.

*'''Baron Rudolf von Stroheim''': A goose-stepping Nazi who just can't shut up about how Germany is the greatest country in the world. Arguably one of the most fabulous minor characters in the series, and allegedly also the design inspiration for Guile. Initially a bad guy for kidnapping Speedwagon and seemingly trying to weaponize the Pillar Man he found in Mexico, he eats a grenade in an attempt to prevent Santana from escaping. That would be the end of it, but then he suddenly appears in the Swiss Alps as a cyborg with a fucking [[dakka|.50 cal]] in his chest to help kill the other super-vamps. Said machine gun is seemingly fired via pelvic thrusts. After spending the remainder of the arc being a badass and saving Joseph's bitch ass a couple times, he returns to the Wehrmacht to fight World War II. The epilogue describes him singlehandedly covering the retreat of Nazi forces from the Soviet invasion of Berlin, or Stalingrad in the anime. He died as he lived, screaming his head off about German greatness, and stuffed with enough guns to run an artillery battery.

====Part 3: The Stardust Crusaders====
The titular main crew of Part 3 and while the title is never actually used as they normally referred to as the "Joestar Group", it goes unspoken that "'''''Stardust Crusaders'''''" is the true name of the group. They are a team of four, later five then six, Stand Users united together to save Holly Kujo by traveling to Egypt and stopping DIO's evil within 50 days. Considering that they're all of different nationalities, it's a point of humor that they're all able to communicate with each other perfectly with no mention of their native languages.
[[File:Part3crew.png|350px|right|]][[File:Lets Go.png|250px|thumb|Names Picked, Classes Assigned, Points Allocated, '''Let's Go!''']]

*'''Muhammad Avdol''' (or Abdul): An Egyptian fortune teller and expert on Stands. His stand is '''Magician's Red''', which uses fire-based attacks. Avdol is a close friend of Joseph, and helps explain Stands to Jotaro. He's a no-nonsense character who uses his knowledge of the other Stands to great effect. He defeated Polnareff and spared his life and allowed him to join the group. After arriving in India, Avdol is seemingly killed by a cowboy and an in-bred man, but survives because the bullet apparently only grazed him. He uses his faked death to purchase some safe transportation for the team ([[Derp|which ended up being boarded by another assassin anyways]]). Avdol is killed off for real by Vanilla Ice, when he pushes Polnareff out of harm's way despite saying he wouldn't do so again. Props to Araki for not making him a Middle-Eastern stereotype, considering Stardust Crusaders came out around 1989.

*'''Noriaki Kakyoin''': A Japanese student and MILF enthusiast from the same school as Jotaro. His stand is '''Hierophant Green'''; its main attack is an emerald projectile shower called "''Emerald Splash''", and he can also extend its whole body into coils that stretch long distances, as well as enter very small spaces. At first he's being mind controlled by DIO through a flesh bud and attacks Jotaro, but the latter manages to subdue him and even remove his flesh bud in an extremely risky impromptu surgery. In a show of gratitude, Kakyoin joins Jotaro's team, having found kinship in the other Stand users. In the final battle against DIO, Kakyoin is killed, but not before figuring out DIO's power and conveying the message to Joseph. That's right, Kakyoin is Jotaro's Zeppeli.

*'''Jean Pierre Polnareff''': A French swordsman with an absurdly tall hairdo; in fact, some guys from /v/ might recognize him as the inspiration for SNK's fighting game character Benimaru. His stand is '''Silver Chariot''', an armored swordfighter that can slice with incredible speed and precision. Like Kakyoin, Polnareff was being controlled by DIO's Flesh Bud, but is defeated by Avdol and promptly joins their group. His motivation is to find the man who raped and killed his sister, who just so happens to be one of DIO's assassins, as well as get revenge on DIO himself. Polnareff is highly emotional; he hits on every lady he meets, he's deeply concerned about finding adequate toilets on their many stops (a difficult task in the Middle East), and he blames himself for Avdol's death (both times; see above). Nonetheless, he's a very capable fighter. Polnareff is the only fighter besides the Joestars to survive the battle against Dio. In all he's also a big goofball who is frequently the butt of jokes, which due to Araki's writing style led to him getting the most screen time of the heroes in Part III. Some point after Part 3 but before Part 5, Polnareff would find himself battling Diavolo and nearly DIE, lost both his legs and almost an arm, becoming wheelchair-bound as a result. He then becomes a contact for Giorno's gang as they begin looking for clues to Diavolo's identity and they all meet at the Coliseum. And then he pretty much dies and stabs his stand with the Stand Arrow, turning it into a super-stand that can swap spirits and force evolution. Once the battle ends, it's revealed that Polnareff's spirit survives... inside a turtle. Granted, it's a stand-using turtle, but still.

*'''Iggy''': The final member of Jotaro's team, introduced halfway into the series. He's selfish, ornery, anti-social, and likes to fart on Polnareff's face. Oh, also he's a dog. Yes, dogs can be Stand users too. His stand is '''The Fool''', which allows him to construct anything from sand, whether it's a giant attack dog, a hang glider, or a protective shell. He gets in a vicious fight against Dio's guard falcon, Pet Shop, which ends up costing him his leg. Iggy later sacrifices himself to save Polnareff from Vanilla Ice.

====Part 4====
[[File:Morioh Stand Users.png|400px|thumb|right|The Morioh Stand Users. From left to right: Yukako Yamagishi, Jotaro Kujo, Joseph Joestar, Shizuka Joestar, Arthur, Reimi Sugimoto, Tonio Trussardi, Koichi Hirose, Okuyasu Nijimura, Nijimura Sr., Josuke Higashikata, Rohan Kishibe, Toshikazu Hazamada and Aya Tsuji.]]
Given the nature of Part 4 the JoBro gang is more modular in nature than it was in the previous parts. The below three, combined with Josuke and Jotaro, are sometimes known as the "Duwang Gang", aka the main characters of the show.

*'''Koichi Hirose''': Josuke's best friend, he's a short dude who just happens to be the same age as Josuke. He's not quite as weird, but he finds himself in much weirder situations as a result, like getting stabbed by an arrow and evolving his stand, or finding out his girlfriend's a stand-using psychopath. His Stand, '''Echoes''', is a real special one because it gains three modes over the course of the story: ACT1 just makes lots of noise, ACT2 throws these sound effects and they actually happen (like making a sound effect for fire and then the place combusts), and ACT3 suddenly replaces the sound powers and becomes some short guy whose punches imbue such a powerful force that its targets slam into the ground. He's usually the more reasonable guy and he happens to be nice. He's just incredibly bad with luck. He appears again early in Part 5 to help Jotaro confirm Giorno's identity.

*'''Okuyasu Nijimura''': The archetypical ''yanki'' thug with a really big heart. Sure, he first met Josuke as an enemy and nearly killed Koichi, but it's revealed that he and his brother were only causing trouble to find a cure for their freakishly-mutated unkillable dad. They eventually find common purpose when Okyasu's brother is kidnapped and killed by an enemy stand user and they become friends from there. And then...the gangster becomes a bigger nut than Josuke. His Stand is called '''The Hand''' and its [[Faptau|freakishly huge right hand]] can erase whatever it comes into contact with (including the air, which creates vacuums that pull Okuyasu and his victims around). Like Vanilla Ice's power, this is fucking awesome, but Okuyasu is too dumb to use it properly.

*'''Rohan Kishibe''': A master manga artist who happens to live in Morioh. He's an egotist to the worst degree and hates Josuke's guts, but has nothing but respect for Koichi and Jotaro. His Stand, "'''''Heaven's Door'''''" allows him to read people like literal books, which lets him rip out pages (which harms the user in a way) and write in commands that the victim must obey. His whole jackass act is a bit more justified once it's revealed that as a kid, his parents and a neighbor of his were murdered by Kira, and he was only able to survive because the neighbor hid him. Some believe him to be a self-insert of Araki though this likely wasn't true in his earliest appearance in Part 4 due to his personality not being representative of Araki's own. The fact that he received his own side mangas, with one of them being "Rohan at the Lourve" which is very likely inspired on Araki's own trip to the Louvre.

=====Citizens of Morioh=====
Diamond is Unbreakable takes place entirely in Morioh, so almost every supporting character is a citizen and very few are not in some way quirky or ''bizarre''. With the rule that Stand Users are attracted to other Users put into play, a lot of characters are either normal people who happened to gain Stands or are affected by them. Many of them start out as antagonists but later calm down once whatever craziness they were involved in is resolved, so here are all the citizens that are forgiven.

*'''Tomoko Higashikata''': Josuke's mother, who had him with Joseph. Despite not actually being a Joestar by blood, she seems to have had a few of the family traits rub off on her, like not taking shit from cat callers and promptly smashing their face through a car window, denting the door. Despite Joseph walking out on her (and being an old, old man) she still wants him back for some reason.

*'''Tamami Kobayashi''': A con artist who guilt-trips people into giving him money. He is aided in this goal by the power of his Stand, '''''The Lock''''', which attaches itself to people and amplifies their guilt, growing heavier when doing so. Eventually people give in and do anything to stop the weighing guilt, including killing themselves. He tried to swindle Koichi but failed, instead going after his mom and sister (the latter of which he was going to try and fuck using the power of his Stand). He was beaten by Koichi when Echoes hatched from its egg and Koichi used its sound abilities to counteract Tamami's guilt-trips. Despite effectively trying to ruin his life and nearly killing his mother, Koichi forgives Tamami after some threatening jokes. Started out as an average-sized dude who shrank down for no reason in the manga, while in the anime he was short all the time.

*'''Toshikazu Hazamada''': An introverted student that goes to the same highschool as Josuke & Co. that gained a Stand thanks to Akira Otoishi. Hazamada appears to be timid at first but it's quickly discovered that he has a very stubborn and depraved personality which is characterized by his Stand, '''''Surface'''''. Surface is a Stand with no real form unlike others such as Crazy Diamond, instead it is able to control human-shaped objects like wooden mannequins at Hazamada's bidding and mimic a person's appearance down to their voice and personality. If the person being mimicked is close enough, Surface is capable of completely controlling all of their actions through its own movements, though it can't control Stands.

*'''Yukako Yamagishi''': A classmate of Koichi, Yukako develops a crush on him that quickly develops into an obsession. The inspiration for the ''Yandere'' archetype in modern Japanese media, but with the twist that she actually grows into a genuinely decent person over time. Has the stand '''Love Deluxe''', which lets her grow and control her own hair.

*'''Nijimura Sr.''': A former servant of DIO and the father of Keicho and Okuyasu Nijimura. He has an unidentified Stand, which got him attention from DIO and while he was paid well for his services, DIO didn't trust him and implanted him with a flesh bud. Unfortunately, when the Stardust Crusaders killed DIO, the flesh bud burst and mutated Nijimura into the monstrous form of a green, tumour-ridden elephant-man. This wracked his mind, rendering him unable to speak in anything but moans and thanks to the cells from the flesh bud, he is functionally indestructible.

*'''Tonio Trussardi''': An Italian chef who moved to Morioh and opened a restaurant, ''Trattoria Trussardi''. Like real Trattorias, there is no written menu but unlike a traditional Trattoria, Tonio studies his customers to find what to serve them. His food is amazingly good except for the part where customers are violently torn apart for a moment before coming back together, better than ever. That is because of his Stand, '''Pearl Jam''', which allows Tonio to alter dishes he makes to cure a person of some kind of ailment by cutting up his Stand (a bunch of large pepper-shaped things with faces) and adding them to the dish. In the anime [[weeaboo|he speaks very formally with lots of ''desu'' peppered into his speech]], likely because as an Italian Japanese is not his native tongue.

*'''Reimi Sugimoto''': The ghost of a teenage girl, one of Kira's first victims and the kickstarter of the main plot of Diamond is Unbreakable. She is an old babysitter of Rohan's (which he forgot as he was a toddler) who saved him from the Morioh Killer 15 years ago and through her we learned that Stand Users can see ghosts as if they were actually there. Reimi and her dog, Arnold, haunt Morioh's "Ghost Alley" which is essentially a limbo between the living world and the afterlife, where you must not look back, lest you get torn apart by ghostly hands. She informs Koichi and Rohan about her killer and requests that they stop him for the safety of Morioh and so she can finally pass on. Reimi's story of her and Arnold's deaths are likely a play on ''The Licked Hand'' urban legend where a girl finds her dog dead in the bathroom.

[[File:Alien d6.gif|250px|thumb|right|Mikitaka turning into a [[d6]]. And yes, Josuke points out he got the sides wrong.]]
*'''Mikitaka Hazekura''': An <s>Filthy Xenos</s> alien... [[skub|maybe]]. As far as bizarreness goes in Diamond is Unbreakable, Mikitaka is up there. Has a shape-shifting ability called '''Earth Wind and Fire''', but it might not actually be a Stand. Araki has never truly stated whether or not Mikitaka was actually an alien and it is likely we will never know.

*'''Shigekiyo Yangu''': Otherwise known as Shigechi. A weird looking underclassman, Shigechi is pretty childish and greedy, but can be quite clever when the situation calls for it. Tries to swindle Josuke and Okuyasu out of the money they agreed to split, but was defeated and made to share. Has a Stand called '''Harvest''', a whole swarm of small fat hornet-shaped things who can run around really fast and far to collect things for Shigechi. After his defeat Shigechi became friendlier with the JoBros and hung out with them for a bit, but was brutally murdered by Kira when he accidentally discovered the man's identity.

*'''Aya Tsuji''': The owner of a beauty parlor, Aya can seemingly make people fall in love with those whom she treated. Yukako was skeptical at first (especially when Aya [[PROMOTIONS|molested her]]), but after a one treatment Yukako had Koichi fall in love with her. The treatment came with a caveat though: she had to apply lipstick periodically. Aya fancied herself something of a fairy godmother, a career that was tragically cut short when Kira barged in, forced her to put another man's face onto his, then killed her.

*'''Shizuka Joestar''': A baby with the Stand '''Achtung Baby''', which turns her and things around her invisible depending on how stressed she is. Saved from drowning by Josuke and Joseph. Rohan briefly kidnaps her [[What|so he could win a game of rock-paper-scissors against a middle-schooler]] and somehow loses track of her moments later. Gets adopted by Joseph. This means that she's the adopted sister of Josuke and Holly, making her Jotaro's aunt and Jolyne's great-aunt, despite Shizuka being the same age as the latter. We unfortunately don't get to see her again in later parts, and given how part 6 ended we're probably not going to see her ever again. A pity, considering her stand's potential for growth was A-rank.

[[File:Yuya.png|thumb|250px|So handsome nobody will ever take my girls, my ''Highway Star'' is a deep purple, I got everything.]]
*'''Yuya Fungami''': A handsome and fit biker who got hospitalized after a road accident, Yuya is introduced some time after we first see his semi-remote Stand, '''Highway Star'''. It is a humanoid figure that can disassemble itself into a bunch of feet, allowing it to chase its targets down at speeds of up to 60km/h (that's around 37mph for any American readers). Once it catches its victim, it buries its feet in the target, draining them of their vitality and healing Yuya. He is doted on by a trio of delinquent girls, and he in turn is very protective of them.

*'''Hayato Kawajiri''': An elementary school aged kid, Hayato starts out as an introverted little creep, spying on his parents' bedroom with a closed circuit camera. Unlike his mother, Hayato is perceptive to Kira's actions in his Kosaku Kawajiri disguise, and gathers proof of Kira's false identity. Hayato threatens to reveal Kira's secret when Kira super creepily attempts to interrogate him in the bathroom, but this leads to his death. Killing Hayato puts Kira into a corner and the resulting stress leads to him gaining Bites The Dust. Then the boy develops a pair of [[Imperial Guard|''massive unbreakable diamond balls'']], forcing Kira to undo Bites The Dust by baiting him into revealing his identity. Hayato is then integral to Josuke's final showdown with Kira and quietly spends the end of Part 4 with his mother, saying he would wait for his father to return.

====Part 5====
[[File:Tasteofaliar.jpg|200px|thumb|left|*lick*]]
*'''Bruno Bucciarati''': The top guy in the gang, Bucciarati tends to be the level-headed one and is a rather compassionate person for being a capo of the most powerful mafia in Italy. In his first appearance, he pulled some messed up tricks and is the source of the infamous "This taste... it's of a Liar!" scene where he licks Giorno's sweat to freak him out. His stand is '''Sticky Fingers''', which makes zippers on absolutely anything, letting him do things like create impossible space inside objects (or people) to completely severing limbs. A fighter of incredible utility, especially when some thought is applied to the way his powers are used. His defining moment is being literally unable to die. No, seriously, King Crimson puts a fucking hole through his midsection, and the motherfucker just keeps walking. Being technically dead, he lost the ability to feel pain and used it to his advantage and even blew his own ears out to win the fight against Secco and his ''Oasis'', but then began losing his sight. He only dies after the whole soul-switcheroo of the Silver Chariot Requiem. Has his own battle cry like Jotaro and so on: [https://youtube/R7DDnpw2T68?t=804 ''"ARI ARI ARI ...ARRIVEDERCI!"'']

*'''Guido Mista''': A more punkish guy who has a '''MASSIVE''' phobia of the number 4. His stand is '''Sex Pistols''', six little bullet-shaped guys numbered 1-7 (skipping 4 because of said phobia) who can kick bullets (or effectively anything bullet-sized) in a way almost identical to the Emperor, except for the fact that his gun is perfectly normal. ''Sex Pistols'' are also able to to deflect projectiles that would harm Mista, in a flashback showing his first use of them, he was shot at by multiple thugs and was able to pick up a gun and shoot each of them without hassle or injury. He gets seriously messed up when he fights more dangerous stands, e.g. he was shot in the head at close range during by Prosciutto and almost killed himself shooting at ''White Album's Gently Weeps''. Mista is the only one of the original gang, excluding Fugo, to survive the arc, which is rather impressive, considering that [[derp|he took a hit from his own bullets no less than 30 times]].

*'''Leone Abbachio''': Looks like Sephiroth, only acts stoic and tries to keep his conscience clean (He was a cop and only defected when he saw how fucked the police system was after his partner died). His stand, '''Moody Blues''', allows him to play back time like a cassette tape, as his stand begins impersonating someone and repeats their actions. Considering how this could discover Diavolo's identity, this leads to Abbachio being assassinated by ''King Crimson'' personally, but not before leaving a mold of Diavolo's face.

*'''Narancia Ghirga''': Despite looking younger than everyone else, he's actually older than Giorno by two years (despite Giorno looking fucking 20 but he's really 15). He's pretty book-dumb and loud-mouthed, which ends up with him being the first victim of several stand attacks. His stand is '''Aerosmith''', a miniature airplane that traces things by their CO2 emissions and then blasts the fuck outta them with dakka. In both of his fights he ends up in a literal stand-off after forcing the enemy out hiding, first against Formaggio and his ''Little Feet'' and later against Squalo's ''Clash''. He gets killed in the Silver Chariot Requiem switcheroo, being assassinated in the mayhem, Giorno tries to revive him but by then his soul had already departed so he was left surrounded by flowers. His favorite manga was [[Fist of the North Star]] and he had his battle cry that he used whenever ''Aerosmith'' shoots someone to hell: ''[https://youtube/R7DDnpw2T68?t=855 "VOLA VOLA VOLA...VOLARE VIA!"]'' He's also a reference to the Aerosmith song "Dude looks like a lady", which has resulted in him being considered a trap. There is an absolute, metric fuckton of fan-porn of Narancia, despite the fact that he is only 17.

*'''Panacotta Fugo''': Whereas Narancia is book-dumb and impulsive, Fugo is book-smart and methodical in his actions albeit a bit heartless, like when he stabbed Narancia in the face with a fork for getting a maths question wrong. His personality seemingly contrasts with his stand, '''Purple Haze'''. See, ''Purple Haze'' is something insane, easily-agitated, and compulsive with little capsules in its fists filled with a virus so potent that it eats alive anything it touches. This power is so OP that Araki was forced to write him out of the plot by making him reject the notion of revolting against the Boss and leaving to the gang. He makes a small appearance in the possibly non-canon side-novel, "''Golden Heart, Golden Ring''", and is the main character of the "''Purple Haze Feedback''" novel where he is given a mission to prove his loyalty to the gang six months after the events of Part 5. Known for his "Swiss-cheese" outfit which is a suit jacket with large holes all over it.

====Part 6====
*'''Hermes Costello:''' One of Jolyne's fellow inmates, Hermes is about as much of a match as you can get, except for the part where she has a serious revenge-boner for one of Pucci's subordinates for killing her sister. Her stand '''Kiss''' allows her to slap stickers on things, duplicating things, but the moment it comes off, the duplicate and original slam together again and blow up a bit.

*'''Emporio Alnino:''' Poor little Emporio. The first 6 parts of Jojo had this weird rule where the more a child helped the Joestar gang, the more they'd end up suffering. After his mother got killed by Pucci for her stand disk, he grew up in Green Dolphin Street prison within the confines of his stand '''Burning Down The House''', a pocket dimension that preserves the "ghost" of the prison's old music room before it caught fire, including any items that were in it. Although the room makes a good hiding place, and the ghost items can be reused indefinitely, the stand itself was pretty useless in combat, meaning Emporio served more of a support role, providing intel, resources, and [[wat|being the gang's designated driver]]. After Pucci gains MIH and [[TPK]]s the Part 6 cast, Emporio is left screaming and crying in fear as the last line of defense against the priest, not even having time to mourn as he gets chased around the newly-reset Green Dolphin Prison. As hope would have it, however, Emporio is able to trick Pucci into inserting Weather Report's stand disk into him, giving him the chance to defeat Pucci once and for all. Afterwards, the universe is reset once more, placing Emporio in a new world without Pucci's influence, as well as meeting alternate versions of his friends who instantly bond with him due to the bonds they formed in the previous universe. Unfortunately, his original friends are gone for good, and their replacements won't remember everything they all went through. Emporio's last words in the series are simply "My name is Emporio", symbolizing that although his old life is gone for good, the start of a new, better one waits for him ahead.

*'''Foo Fighters:''' This here is the single most awesome character. [[Worm That Walks|She's a fucking swarm of plankton with a stand.]] Taking the form of a dead inmate. She was originally controlled by Pucci, but eventually Jolyne manages to defeat her and they become friends. Her stand is also non-conventional, as she's constantly using it to keep herself together.

*'''Weather Report:''' He's amnesiac and unstable. And he wears a giant buffalo hat. His stand is also named '''Weather Report''', and it allows him to control the weather and manipulate the atmosphere, such as blowing things around with wind, deflecting bullets by manipulating air resistance, or ''[[What|making it rain poison dart frogs]]''. This 39-something man displays something of a "dissonant serenity", where he is soft-spoken and calm to the point where he rarely raises his voice above a whisper, yet speaks rather aggressively to his enemies with frequent threats of violence or death, as well as having an informal form of speech. However, once he realizes his identity as Pucci's brother, he discovers a second part of his stand, "Heavy Weather", created from the rage he once held against humanity when a set of unfortunate circumstances led to the [[pol|KKK]] [[Grimdark|lynching him and causing his girlfriend to commit suicide.]] Heavy Weather is even more fucked up than his base power as it [[Wat|somehow uses rainbows to submit subliminal messages like ''turn into fucking snails''.]] Shit's creepy. What's worse is that upon regaining his memories, he instantly turns into [[That Guy]], gleefully strolling amidst the snail-ridden chaos while [[/d/|inflating a nurse with water]] [[wat|to turn him into a chair]] as well as electrocuting a pair of teenage girls in the manga to force them to give him a massage. [[Eldrad|What a dick.]] Despite all the shit he went through, his sense of justice and love for his friends still remains, and he spends his last moments getting stupidly fucking close to killing Pucci despite having both of his legs cut off, before leaving behind his stand disk that eventually defeats his brother. [[Awesome|What a badass.]]

*'''Narciso Anasui:''' Another messed up dude, but he's only restrained by the fact that he seriously has a thing for Jolyne despite her dad's refusal. Despite that, however, he manages to be more reliable than Weather and Ermes by not getting stuck in the infirmary for a third of the part. His Stand is '''Diver Down''', with the mundane yet neat power of phasing through matter. This allows him to climb into things, break them from the inside, and then break out. He wears what can be described as a [[PROMOTIONS|"fishnet" connected to thigh-high boots under a short skirt]] which is notable considering he was originally going to be female and is very clearly a woman in his first appearance (Araki stated it was a decision he made to "portray a character with an androgynous image that went beyond the standard definition of genders."); oddly enough, his female self was wearing a more modest version of his outfit. He and his stand ultimately come in clutch in the C-Moon and Made In Heaven fights, where he transfers several otherwise lethal strikes that Pucci inflicts on the other characters onto himself, on top of providing Jotaro an opportunity to hit Pucci by forcing the priest to target him first (Though this ends up [[FAIL|failing]].) At least he (Or Annakiss, rather) finally gets together with Jolyne in Emporio's reset timeline.

====Part 7====
*'''Gyro Zeppeli:''' That's right, he's another Zeppeli. He's still the guy to teach the Joestar about the power du jour (Spin), and he still dies near the end (though by then, he's done way more than his fair share of things and Johnny's come a long way). In the rebooted Jojolion universe, the Zeppelis were executioners and doctors for the kingdom of Naples, mastering the art of the Steel Balls for this particular job. Gyro, while competent, found himself questioning his conscience when he was instructed to execute a young boy for his possible involvement in a murder. Denying this accusation, Gyro decides to flee to America in order to participate in the Steel Ball Run race and win that boy a pardon, hoping to learn about his convictions along the way. He gains an ability at one point thanks to the Saint's Corpse, called "Scan", which allowed him to see using his steel balls, but he eventually loses it when he gave the Saint's eye to Lucy. However, when he masters the Golden Spin near the end, he obtains an actual Stand named '''Ball Breaker''', who can bypass D4C's barrier and nearly ages Valentine to death. Sadly, due to a flaw in his ball, he was unable to properly finish him off before he died due to D4C's powers fucking up his heart.
*'''Hot Pants:''' She starts off as one of several competitors in the race who manages to keep well ahead in the race, all while rather thinly disguised as a dude. As time goes on, however, Gyro and Johnny cross paths with her and somewhat become enemies (Gyro's kinda pissed for her thieving them of the Corpse Parts, but Johnny's slightly more understanding as well as aware of her identity). It's eventually revealed that she was a nun of the Vatican in penance for letting her brother die years ago, and participated in the race to recover the Saint's Corpse, thinking that recovering such a relic would grant God's mercy. Her stand is the utilitarian "Cream Starter", which is a spray can of meat foam that can be used to heal wounds, dissolve flesh, and even disguise faces.
*'''Lucy Steel:''' Despite the 17-year age gap, Lucy is somehow the wife of industrialist Stephen Steel, the man who organized the Steel Ball Run (under Valentine's orders). Though she doesn't really do much early on, she's the first person to realize that everything's not kosher in this mess and fears for her husband's safety around the President. From here, she gets caught up in the mess of the Corpse, helping Hot Pants with infiltrating the President's house by impersonating Valentine's wife and delivering a warning to Johnny and Gyro. And she does all this despite lacking a stand. Welll...sorta. Eventually, she's revealed to somehow be pregnant with the Corpse's head (Don't ask. [[FATAL|Seriously, don't ask]]) and eventually becomes the Corpse itself, serving to empower Valentine's Stand through Jesus' own Stand, '''Ticket to Ride''', which can manipulate misfortune and probability to protect its user, as long as they get cut by their sharpened tears. Unfortunately, as one would expect from having the severed head of a demigod inside your cunt, Ticket to Ride is slowly killing Lucy and taking her over, which leads to Hot Pants' death. After Valentine's demise, she then manages to save the day by killing Dio using one last moment of "D4C" fuckery.

====Part 8====
*'''Yasuho Hirose:''' Josuke's lover/girlfriend/fuckbuddy and the first person to discover his unconscious ass amongst the Wall Eyes. She doesn't have much in the way of personality since she's mostly there for sex appeal and to help Josuke find out who he truly is. Her Stand, Paisley Park, has some of the most vague powers in the series. It's main ability is to "guide" Yasuho through situations and to an end goal, either by giving her cues or manipulating electronics around her. Of course, considering how intentionally vague this power is, expected it to be abused like a disobedient child. Also, she named Josuke after her dog and she said he looked a lot like him. ''What a bitch.''

*'''Yoshikage Kira:''' The alternate universe counterpart of the villain of Part 4. Actually a pretty good guy. A doctor who worked on a boat, he pursued the bizarre Rokaka fruit in search of a cure for his mother's disease, putting him at odds with the Rock People who smuggled it. He still has Killer Queen, but now it shoots exploding bubbles and can summon thousands of tiny Sheer Heart Attacks. Critically injured by the Rock People, Kira ends up fusing with Josefumi and forming Gappy.
* '''Josefumi Kujo:''' The other half of Gappy. Josefumi Kujo aids Kira in his quest to cure his mother, out of gratitude for how the two of them saved his life when he almost drowned as a kid. Eventually he attempts to sacrifice himself to save Kira, resulting in their fusion and the birth of Gappy. He was the original user of "'''''Soft & Wet'''''", and his bubbles had no stars in them.

======The Higashikata Family======
These guys are a mixed bag. Some of the family members directly aid Gappy, whilst others scheme against- or try to manipulate him. They also all happen to have the word "king" in their stand names.

*'''Norisuke Higashikata IV''' (Original Name: '''Josuke Higashitaka'''): Father of the family, runs the fruit parlour. He's very strict about the parlour's bussiness model, and is against any sort of change that he deems too radical. Otherwise he is a loving father, which is very rare in Jojos as a whole. His stand is '''King Nothing''', and it can track things by their smell.

*'''Joubin Higashikata:''' One of the most awesome characters in part 8. The guy acts like he's on summer vacation every day of the year, has a [[Tyranids|very large stag-beetle collection]] (he has an entire room for it) and is all around the chillest of dudes you can think of. He even gambled away his gold painted lambo to Gappy, [[Awesome|just because he felt like it]]. He's very open minded and all for improving the fruit parlour to bring in more profit for the family. He takes a lot of his traits from Norisuke, as he cares very much for his son Tsurugi, and the rest of the family. He doesn't hate Gappy, but doesn't involve himself with him too much (unless it has something to do with the Rokakaka fruit). He let the Damo & co. use the parlours trade route for smuggling the Rokakaka trees into Morioh. The reason for this was that he was (and still is) looking for an alternative way of curing the rock decease, a way that wouldn't involve collaterals or equivalent exchange. He's also one cunning fucker, as he has made people do his bidding multiple times during the part, mostly through contracts (like the one with rock humans), [[Tzeentch|but also through deception and manipulation]]. His stand is '''Speed King'''. It lets him store heat in objects, so that it can be let loose when someone touches the spot, and fries them up. At one point he was even thought to be the main antagonist, so his brutal death at the hands of Wonder of U was quite a shock.

*'''Mitsuba Higashikata:''' Joubin's wife, and mother of Tsurugi.

*'''Tsurugi Higashikata:''' Jobin's son who is dressed up as a girl to supposedly ward off the rock disease. His stand is '''Paper Moon King''', which allows him to conjure up illusions using origami.

*'''Hato Higashikata:''' Norisuke's eldest daughter, an air-headed model who's fiercely protective of her family. Her stand is '''Walking Heart''', which allows her to project spikes from her heels. Doesn't sound that impressive, but the spikes can penetrate hard surfaces, allowing her to walk on walls, extend up to four meters (little over 13 feet), and can move faster than a human can react.

*'''Joshu Higashikata:''' This little fuckwit is Josuke's stepbrother and is by far the worst of the family. Every negative trait you can think of he probably has, including; spoiled, petty, possessive, selfish, perverted, idiotic, amongst any other things. Just a [[Honsou|horrible person in general,]] constantly antagonizing and arguing with Josuke because he wants Yasuho for himself. Also, his Stand '''[[/d/|Nut]] King Call''' is basically Sticky Fingers but with nuts and bolts; attaching a bolt something then removing it causes whatever it was attached to to fall apart when it's removed. Naturally, he deserves to have one of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X-Ek_1W9wkthe most rocking themes] in Eyes of Heaven, [[What|right]]? As of chapter 101 he has gotten a tremendous amount of development, compared to his introduction, but he's still a creep.

*'''Daiya Higashikata:''' Youngest daughter and child of Norisuke at 16 years old. Playful and child-like, but severly sight-impaired, being barely able to see light. Her stand is '''California King Bed''', which allows her to steal memories from any person "fussing over" her, the memories exiting from a persons orifice as a chess piece with an orb containing the memory within. Daiya can view the memories by touching the pieces herself. If a piece is destroyed, the memory is destroyed as well, and any damage done to the piece is reflected back to the person the memory came from. The memories can only be returned to the person if Daiya steps on their shadow.

*'''Kaato Higashikata:''' Norisuke's ex-wife and mother to his children. Spent 15 years in a prison accused of murdering a child. The kid bullied Joubin and forced him to take lewd pictures of her, so she [[Grimdark|punished the little shit by burying him alive as a human sacrifice to cure her son]]. She really loves her children, especially her firstborn son Joubin. She's the one who [[Awesome|deals the finishing blow to Toru by using Rokakaka sap to transfer her family curse to him, while also curing Tsurugi in the process]]. Her stand is '''Space Trucking''', a golden humanoid bound to a deck of playing cards that can store objects and people within itself. When a card containing something is turned, whatever is stored within is released. It can also immobilize people and crush stuff.

====Part 9====
*'''Dragona Joestar:''' Jodio's older brother and partner. He also dresses in drag and has breasts, but given that Jodio refers to him consistently as male and some cops sexually harassing "her" discover something "down there", Jodio's word seems trustworthy for now. He's also the one person that keeps Jodio from going nuts from sheer [[RAGE]], and gods help you if you harm him in front of his brother, as a bunch of pigs in blue [[Rape|learned the hard way]]. His Stand is '''Smooth Operators''', a colony of tank-like creatures that can rearrange the features of any object Dragona touches, like altering a license plate, removing locks from vaults or rearranging faces in horrific ways when pissed off.

:[[FAIL|Also, if you haven't seen the pun in his name yet, you suck at seeing the obvious.]]

*'''Usagi Alohaoe:''' The person who looks like [[meme|Pink Guy]] and who buys drugs from Jodio at the start of the first chapter-though is seemingly a good student according to Meryl Mei Qi. He's very intelligent, seemingly, but is laid back and his care-free attitude gets him in trouble. His stand is Matte Kudasai (no, it's not an untranslated name, it's a reference to a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-xNcpW_dA|King Crimson song]. Anyway, the ability grants the wish of someone else other than the user, turning itself into an object such as a security camera or lock pick.

*'''Paco Laburantes:''' Essentially the [[that guy]] of the gang. No one really likes him, though Jodio respects his skills as a thief. He's a dim-witted, aloof, and often comes off as rude-not to mention the fact he's a kleptomaniac. His Stand reflects this-The Hussle allows his muscles to grab objects and attach them to his skin. Basically, think of him as the [[Barbarian]] of the party.

===The Dicks & Villains (A.K.A. The FoJos)===
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure covers generations of exploits of the Joestar Lineage and their allies as they battle foes with wildly varying beliefs, ambitions, skills, personalities and fashion sense. Though the series changes almost completely with each Part, there is one factor that stays constant throughout all the adventures: evil is arrogant and flamboyant. Since most fights in JoJo are battles of wit rather than straight brawls (even these occur, there's an amount of strategy and thought involved), the majority of villains reflect and enforce this idea. There is no shortage of [[Slaanesh|flamboyant sadists]], [[Khorne|violent killers]], [[Tzeentch|conniving schemers]], [[Nurgle|fatalistic worshippers]], [[Eversor|maniacal assassins]], [[Mercenaries|arrogant mercenaries]], [[Psyker|psychics]], [[Eldar|arrogant psychics]], [[Culexus|arrogant psychic assassins]], [[Eldrad|fabulous dicks]], [[Malal|malevolent assholes]], [[That Guy|jerkwads]] (...) and anything in-between which makes for a truly ''bizarre'' rogue's gallery.

====Dio Brando (Part 1 and 3)====
[[File: DIO.jpeg|thumb|right|Part 3 Dio and his Stand "The World", also known by its Japanese name of ZA WARUDO.]]
Technically the [[BBEG]] of the overall series, although he's only actually on-stage in the first and third sagas. Arrogant, vain and frankly something of a coward, Dio was born the son of abusive, stupid, drunkard Dario Brando, but had a natural intelligence, ambition and drive that his father lacked. Poisoning his father, he was sent to live with George and Jonathan Joestar, as part of a debt the elder Joestar owed to Dario. Despising Jonathan for his attempts to befriend his new stepbrother, Dio bullied Jonathan throughout their childhood, and even after they seemingly made amends, was secretly plotting to steal Jonathan's birthright. He attempted to poison George, only for his scheme to be revealed, whereupon he used the Stone Mask the Joestars had unwittingly guarded to become a vampire and attempted to conquer England by creating an army of zombies. As mentioned above, this eventually left him a severed head trapped on the bottom of the ocean, until he managed to assimilate Jonathan's body and escape for the third saga. He sits in his lair for most of it because he has difficulty controlling Jonathan's body and doesn't fight the heroes himself until all his minions are dead. When he does however he proceeds to completely wreck their shit until Jotaro narrowly manages to defeat him. Afterwards his body is thrown into the desert and incinerated by the Sun to make sure he doesn't come back. Although he was defeated, agents and plots of his were the primary source of trouble for the next three sagas. Ironically, for all his arrogance and power, Dio ultimately owed everything he had to the Joestars. His life of luxury in his teens was paid for by Joestar money. He became a vampire with a Stone Mask owned by the Joestar family. He needed Jonathan Joestar's body after his own was destroyed by Ripple energy. He needed Joseph Joestar's blood so he could better merge with Jonathan's body. He even makes extensive use of Hermit Purple #2 which is the same as Joseph, but presumably belongs to Jonathan, during the third saga.

He is well-loved by the fans for his over-the-top flamboyance (even by the series' standards), grandiloquent speaking style, and sheer dickishness such that [[Eldrad]] himself would be impressed. He is the source of [[Meme|ZA WARUDO]], which is his Stand ("'''''The World'''''") freezing time around him. While he typically follows that up with an improbably numerous volley of knives, he is infamous for what comes after: Slamming a road roller from out of nowhere down on his opponent, punching it until the vehicle explodes, screaming, ROAD ROLLER DA! [[Eversor|then screeching in triumph.]] '''WRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!'''

Dio's power is super broken with the only restriction being he can only use it for five seconds at a time, but has no restriction on how often he can use it. After drinking Joseph's blood and getting control over Jonathan's body, Dio's time limit increases to nine seconds. Narration by him states he could only freeze time briefly at first but had been steadily increasing the more he used it. He is only beaten because Jotaro figured out how to stop time himself and got Dio in between time freezes when his guard was down.

Considering the design of DIO's Stand, ''The World'', it may in fact be a "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkysjcs5vFU Holy Diver."]

He also has a slew of minions and henchmen in both Parts 1 and 3. From Zombie Black Knights and literal Mancats in Part 1 to a Womanizing, Ghost-gun wielding Cowboy and what is essentially baby Freddy Krueger in Part 3:

====Part 1: Phantom Blood Villains====
[[File:PBDio.jpg|thumb|right|Jojo is going to be so surprised when he sees me, he'll be left ''Breathless'' as he looks into my ''Evil Eyes''. Then he'll realize, he's been left all alone... like a ''Rainbow in the Dark...'']]
*'''Dio Brando:''' Villains aren't born, they're made and spending his childhood with an abusive father in the slums of England made a villain of Dio Brando. Dio is meant to contrast with Jonathan starting with the fact they both lost their mothers, Dio being precociously intelligent and born poor while Jojo acts his age and was born rich. His story starts with his dying father, Dario Brando, requesting he move into the Joestar Mansion. From the moment Dio met Jonathan, he decided he would cause Jojo as much misery as possible ensure to he would be the sole heir to the Joestar fortune. Kicking Danny, turning all the other kids against him, and stealing Erina's first kiss([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaGkk60kcjQ "But it was with I, DIO!"])lead to Jonathan fighting back. In retaliation, he burns Danny alive as a final act of spite before the seven year time-skip to their adulthood. As adults, he is seemingly friends with Jojo until Jojo uncovers his plot to poison his adoptive father. Events lead Dio to use the Stone Mask, and as vampire he fights Jonathan throughout their burning mansion,[https://youtube/gsxXvKnuZ7s "Goodbye, JO-JO~!"]. Dio escapes and goes into hiding to heal himself while committing sadistic and unnecessarily cruel acts like causing a mother to eat her child and creating human-animal hybrids. The eventual final battle between Jojo and Dio leaves Dio a severed head, so he decides the only body worth having is that of his greatest enemy. When Dio's ambush on Jojo's honeymoon has them both trapped on a doomed boat, only then Dio realizes that Jonathan was his only friend.
:Dio is considered to be the biggest appeal of Phantom Blood with his trickery, violent tendencies, and personality which are only reinforced by the performance in the anime. "Dio" means god in Italian but it is also the name of the late heavy metal singer, Ronnie James Dio and his band,”DIO", combined with the last name of the late actor, Marlon Brando. It may be possible that Dio is based on the eponymous main character from a previous manga by Hirohiko Araki, "''Cool Shock B.T.''"

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<span style='color:darkred;font-size:115%'>Dio's Minions</span></h5>
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*'''Wang Chan:''' An old Asian man that ran a curio shop on Ogre Street and sold Dio the poison he used on George Joestar and his father. He's Dio first real minion and is essentially the reason why Dio was able to recover from the mansion fire, giving Dio his blood and hiding him away. Wang Chan fought using claw blades on both hands which used when he attacked Jojo during his training, but was warded off. He would save Dio again after the final showdown with Jonathan when he recovered Dio's head and brought him to Jonathan's honeymoon boat, hoping to place Dio on Jonathan's body. Wang Chan got overzealous and underestimated a weakened Jonathan, getting his head blown off and his body stuck to the boat's workings causing it to explode. His strong loyalty to Dio stems from their first meeting where he notices Dio's birthmark and believes he is destined for greatness.

*'''Jack the Ripper:''' As in ''THE'' Jack the Ripper, depicted here as a vaguely brown man with a beard as either a brunette or redhead and is huge just like almost every other character in Phantom Blood. Dio encounters him while Jack is, presumably, killing his last real-life victim and subsequently converted into a powerful zombie. He attacks Jonathan and Co.'s stagecoach ride, cutting off the horses' heads, replacing the coach driver's head with one of them, and hiding in one of the still standing horses. Jack hid scalpels inside of his body that he was able to shoot out and jumped around holding a modified guillotine. He doesn't prove much a threat and gets absolutely obliterated by Jonathan, so the reason the Jack the Ripper Murders stopped was because he was turned to dust by two extremely buff gentlemen.

*'''Bruford:''' One of two zombie knights resurrected by Dio to take out Jonathan and his merry crew who fights using his hair and his sword, "Luck". Alongside Tarkus, he was a retainer of Queen Mary of Scotland when he was alive and allowed himself to be executed to save her. Learning she was killed regardless, Bruford cursed humanity and uses his hair to kill one of the executioners before dying. Bruford, still being an honorable fighter, fights Jonathan one-on-one and takes the fight underwater where it turns out he's a crazy good swimmer even while wearing armor. He's defeated when Jonathan hits him with a "Sunlight Yellow Overdrive" which purifies his soul, causing flowers to bloom under his feet. Fading, [[This guy|Bruford tells Jonathan how grateful he is to have fought him]] and rechristens Luck to "Luck & Pluck", giving the sword to Jonathan which would prove helpful in the fight against Dio. Then Tarkus, being "[[that guy]]", crushes his remains and calls him a disgrace.

*'''Tarkus:''' The other undead knight resurrected by Dio as a zombie, so most definitely ''not the [[Tarkus]] you were already thinking of''. He's huge, as in [[Terminator]] huge, and crazy strong such that he lifted a lifted a boulder with one finger; additionally when he and Bruford were executed the executioners needed multiple axes as they would break on his neck, tensed by [[rage]]. Unlike Bruford who turned out to be a pretty cool guy in the end, Tarkus proves to be 100% medieval [[That Guy]] by crushing Bruford's remains. He doesn't care for honor in the slightest, setting a trap for Jonathan in the '''Room of Dragon Decapitation''' that forces him into a '''Chain Neck Deathmatch''' where they're both shackled to ceiling by chains and the only way out is to kill the opponent for their key. Being unreasonably tall and strong, Tarkus is easily able to knock Jonathan around then use the chains to bisect Zeppeli and break Jonathan's neck in one pull using his ''Hell Heaven Snake Kill'' move. Tarkus being a sadistic jerkass, finds this funny up until Jonathan breaks his neck collar (which is something Tarkus couldn't even do with his bullshit level of strength). He pretty much starts bawling when Jonathan slices his arm up the middle then punches his stupid head off, leaving nothing behind.

*'''Doobie:''' A zombie Dio had with him in his castle, he's big and wears a sack on his head; fortunately, he doesn't have a brother. He gets an anvil dropped on his head by Jonathan and later reveals that under the sack on his head is a bunch of man-eating snakes that bit Jonathan a few times. Jonathan then just rejects the venom and makes the snakes transfer hamon to Doobie which melted him, and that was Doobie. He had a nice hat.

*'''Page, Jones, Plant and Dornam:''' Four grotesque zombies that could extend blood-sucking proboscises from their heads and all got taken out by Straits dropping a chandelier. They were all named after ''Led Zeppelin'' members, and that's all there is to say about them.

</div>
</div>
====Part 2: Battle Tendency Villains====
=====The Pillar Men (Wamuu, ACDC/Esidisi, Kars, Santana)=====
[[File:Awaken in Color.png|thumb|right|250px|ACDC, Wamuu, and Kars...After 2000 Years they are finally free to pose once again.]]
A pre-human tribe of supermen from the ancient past, these beings possess superhuman control over their bodies, allowing them to manipulate their own flesh and the flesh of other people as they see fit. This makes them virtually indestructible, capable of reassembling themselves from being blown to bloody scraps. They feed on the flesh of all other races, and their body manipulating traits allow them to literally absorb flesh with a touch. By the time of the series, only four members of this tribe survive, having slaughtered the rest of their kind, ostensibly in self-defense as they didn't like their leader's scheme since the increased metabolism induced by the Stone Masks would lead to the hunting of all other life to extinction if they became widespread. Kars and Esidisi took the two infants that survived, Wamuu and Santana, with them as they went in search of a way to gain complete immunity to the sun. Their search went on for tens of thousands of years, until they learned of the Red Stone of Aja, a perfectly cut gemstone that can channel light and refract it to point that it fires a concentrated laser beam. Believing the "Super Aja" to be the key unlocking their evolution, the Pillar Man fought against Hamon users in order to obtain it but somehow failed and were sealed away in a stonewall. ACDC, Wamuu, and Kars each have an elemental "mode" which they theme their personal body modification around, for instance, Wamuu can form a lethal wind shear by spinning his arms like turbines. The tribe's only weakness is sunlight, and thus by extension Ripple energy; Kars' claim to fame was attempting to fix this with the Stone Masks, which didn't work as the Masks can't pierce their skin deeply enough, but ''did'' create dickass vampires like Dio and massively boosted their shape-shifting powers. Free from their stone prison, they once again seek the Red Stone in order to power a modified Stone Mask that will finally allow them to become "Ultimate Lifeforms". Appearance-wise they are all built like bodybuilders being at least 6ft. tall and dress in ancient Mesoamerican style. A Group of [[Adeptus Custodes|Custodians]] seem to have taken after their appearance

*'''Santana:''' The first Pillar Man to awaken, the first to be fought, and the first to put up with [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt4q6Dwa-LE Joseph's weirdness]. He was awakened by German scientists when they doused his stone form with blood under Stroheim's orders. At first Stroheim writes him off as a simple caveman-type, but the events that follow show he is far more than a primitive human.[[File:Santana_Absorb.png|left|240px|thumb|Stare too long and you might just get sucked right in.]] Santana shows off each of the Pillar Men's natural abilities by eating a vampire through body contact then breaking his own bones at high-speed in order to fit into a vent. Everyone learns that Santana is incredibly intelligent when he disassembles a machine-gun in seconds without breaking it. Joseph arrives in time to save Stroheim and Speedwagon, and with Stroheim's help he's able to expose Santana to sunlight and turn him back into stone. While Santana is essentially a sign of the Pillar Man threat, he's nothing special compared to the other three. Realizing who he is at the mention of him, since Santana isn't his real name, Kars basically says he was a weakling that only lived 1/10 of their [Kars, Esidisi and Wamuu's] lives which implies they abandoned him. While it's amazing that Santana learned to speak a language within minutes of hearing it, his speech is slow and simple. When the other Pillar Men awaken they are capable of full sentences within a smaller time frame meaning Santana is also an idiot by comparison. He is shown to still be alive in his stone form, but it is unlikely he will ever make another appearance.


[[File:Wham close.png|200px|thumb|The Warrior's Code says nothing against looking this good.]]

*'''Wamuu (Wham):''' The Pillar Man who can use "Wind Mode" and the second to awaken but the first to [[get shit done]], Wammu is a servant of Kars and Esidisi though he is in no way weaker than either of them, in fact in terms of abilities he's arguably the most dangerous. Of the three, he upholds a Warrior's Code of Honor and while he does obey the others' commands completely, he lives to fight by this code. Upon awakening, he immediately slaughters most of the nazis present using his wind horn and somehow deflates the rest before doing his [[meme|iconic]] "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDEbsZpweDo Wammu!] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uOBVO-GyZk Awaken my Masters!]" and posing dramatically alongside a freed Esidisi and Kars with [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUhVCoTsBaM Pillarstep] blasting in the background. Wham subsequently eats Caesar's best Nazi friend, Mark, just by walking past him and puts Caesar and his bubbles in the trash without even really trying. He decides to get a little serious against Joseph and uses his "''Holy Sandstorm''", blasting out [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgIdV09E75o Whamstep] all over the place and bodying Joseph. Joseph plays to his code of honor in order to survive which leads to Wham agreeing to fight him again in 30 days, leaving a "Wedding Ring" inside him so he can't back out. Much later on, Caesar rushes to face Wham at the mansion in Switzerland but dies in the resulting fight. [http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/514/806/4b4.jpg Respecting Caesar] for giving him the best fight he had had in millennia, he allows him to take the antidote ring for Joseph and leaves vowing that he would always remember their battle. Meeting Joseph in the Skeleton Heel Stone Arena for their final fight, a chariot race using vampire horses with countless vampire spectators. After a number of tricks, gouging his own eyes out, and losing both of his arms, Wamuu activates his "''Final Mode: Atmospheric Rift/Gathering Gale''" which is a concentrated blade of wind from his horn. The battle leaves Wham as only a head, though Joseph expresses respect for him due to the respect he has shown Caesar previously. Using the very last of his strength to kill a group of vampires who were poised to attack Joseph, he fades into ash and is carried away with the wind. In the end, Wammu upheld his Warrior's Code and was glad to have the honor of fighting both Caesar and Joseph as [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gMlFFXFJQc true] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtlDvR56rOs warriors]. His namesake is the English duo, ''Wham!'', who would be formed about 50 years after the events of Part 2 in real-life.

*'''Esidisi (ACDC):''' Pillar Man with the power of "Flame Mode", he's Kars' closest companion, being the one to side with him when their entire race turned on them. His Flame Mode allows him to raise his body temperature to 500 degrees, allowing him to use his own blood as weapon by extending his veins out of his body. Being able to heat himself up to such a degree, fire and explosives have no effect on him such is that he was able to swallow [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR30knJs4Xk TNT] with no problems.[[File:Esidisi.png|200px|thumb|Better lock up your daughters, because you're about to be Thunderstruck.|left]] Contrary to his odd appearance, he's not to be taken lightly as is a cunning strategist who was able to outsmart Joseph for a time. He traveled to Air Supplena Island on his own when he deduced it would be the location of the Red Stone. Esidisi kills Loggins just before Joseph shows up for his training duel and is forced to confront him.[[File:HEEEEYYYY.png|150px|right|thumb|"Well it looks like ''I'm'' on the Razor's Edge this time."]] Fighting on a bed of spikes, Esidisi shows his cunning by seeing through some of Joseph's tricks and even using Joseph's "What you're going to say next is..." trick against him and stating that he had personally met Sun Tzu himself at some point. In another iconic moment, he starts crying his eyes out when Joseph destroys one of his arms as a way of calming himself down "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYrl-RJ_oA4 Oh-ho, MY GOD~! HEEEYYYY!!!]" He's defeated and left as a brain with his blood vessels attached as he makes his way to Suzie Q, taking over her body and sending the Red Stone of Aja to Switzerland. When Caesar and Joseph remove him from Suzie Q, instead of outright destroying Esidisi, Joseph shows respect for him as even though he was utterly destroyed, he still did all he could to make sure Kars' plan came to fruition. If it's not clear, his namesake is the rock band ''AC/DC''; his theme [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv_qe5oQoPo "The Disturbing ACDC/Esidisi"] alludes to this and the same may be true for his [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hnk-J59jyXc Eyes of Heaven Theme]. The banter he has with Joseph is depicted in a popular banner, and his crying face has been parodied a number of times.

*'''Kars:''' The leader of the Pillar Men and creator of the Stone Masks out of ambition, essentially making him the indirect cause of all the events of Part 1. Thousands of years prior to the series, Kars invented the Stone Mask to overcome his race's weakness to the sun, but by the time of Part 2 his ultimate goal is really complete dominion over the animal kingdom. Being an incomprehensibly muscled, fabulous, and intelligent ancient being he is understandably arrogant and could care less for humanity, seeing us as obstacles and primitive scum compared to his race of buff, flawless demigods. Though he hates humanity, Kars is shown to care for nature to such a degree that he diverted a car with a drunken driver to save a puppy and knocked himself into chasm walls to avoid landing on flowers at the bottom.[[File:Disguised Kars.png|thumb|left|200px|Hasn't worn anything more than a thong and a bejeweled head wrap for thousands of years, yet he's looking so good he might cause a Kars Accident.]] His mode is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6t2HDJ0NVk "Light Mode"] which takes the form of metal blades called "Light Slip Blades" that jut out from his arms and legs; the light comes from small "teeth" on the blades that move across them similar to a chainsaw. Kars is able to use his blades to cut farther and more times than seemingly possible, like when he cut an entire room of Nazis into pieces from the outside wall. His first time taking action was when he correctly assumed that Esidisi had been defeated: he set out wearing a ''beautiful'' winter ensemble to claim the Super Aja himself, and would've had it if it weren't for the Pinnacle of German Science delaying him. After Wamuu's defeat by Joseph, he reveals the proof of his superiority to humanity - the fact that he has '''''absolutely flawless''''' hair that would make even the most [[Fulgrim|depraved, vain fool]] mourn their lack of such flowing, shimmering violet locks. In spite of all of his planning, during his final battle against the Ripple users he is defeated by Joseph who, of course, managed to outsmart him. When it seems as though Kars had completely lost, he reveals himself wearing the custom Stone Mask with the Red Stone equipped. When the Stone Mask breaks off after a dramatic event, it is revealed that he has the ability to create sentient, living creatures from his own body. Everyone thinks he's beat when the sun rises, but as [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFPgKeYVJgk Karstep] starts blasting throughout the world, his enemies realize that Kars is now immune to the sunlight, that he is finally the Ultimate Lifeform. Kars' first decision as the Ultimate Being was to eliminate the one who had caused him so much turmoil since his awakening: Joseph Joestar. Growing wings and taking flight to catch Joseph who had taken the Red Stone and a plane, he creates piranhas and an octopus to crash the plane which Joseph survives thanks to Stroheim. When he is poised to finish Joseph, Kars accidentally causes the volcano they were fighting in to erupt, launching them into the sky. After one final discourse with Joseph, the Ultimate Lifeform ends up launched further into Earth's atmosphere. In Earth's orbit, Kars attempts to push his way back but begins to freeze and is unable to form anything capable of keeping him warm so he is left floating through space. With nothing left but his own thoughts in the cold void of space, Kars yearned for death and [[meme|eventually stopped thinking]].



<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed">
<h5><span style='color:darkviolet;font-size:115%'>Lesser Villains</span></h5>
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*'''Straights/Straits/Straizo:'''[[File:Stupraights.png|"Now that I have my youth again, it is time to put Joseph and Erina in ''Dire Straits...but with just Straits''"|thumb|200px|right]] Back from Part 1, Straits is 50 years older than his previous appearance, but is still looking relatively young for his age thanks to hamon. Unfortunately, being able to do Sun-Breath Magic Martial Arts that keep you spry isn't enough for him and he reveals that he secretly admired Dio's powers. On an expedition with Speedwagon to see the Man in the Pillar, Straits suddenly kills everyone present. He activates one of the Stone Masks using Speedwagon's blood to become a Ripple-using vampire and decides he needs to go kill Joseph and Erina to top off his heel-turn. Straights tries to act coy when he meets Joseph, but he didn't expect Jojo to be [https://youtube/z0gljFf98ds?t=58 packing heat]. During their fight, Straights names the blood laser previously used by Dio: "'''Space Ripper Stingy Eyes'''", but his mastery of it doesn't stop him from being made a fool of by Joseph. Joseph reveals that he attached a bunch of grenades to Straights' back and blasts him into pieces, then runs away like a true hero would. After regenerating, Straits takes a journalist hostage to lure Joseph into fighting him directly. Unfortunately for "''Stup-raights''", Jojo figured out how to counter his Stingy Eyes which reflects the beam into his head. Admitting defeat, Straits talks about the Man in the Pillar and the threat he knew it would present, he then blows himself using the Ripple while content that he died with a young body. It is later revealed that he was the one that raised Lisa Lisa after the events at the end of Phantom Blood, so it's a real shame he decided to be [[That guy|a team-killer]] and attempt to murder his friends for essentially nothing.

*'''Donovan:''' An elite Nazi soldier tasked with tracking down Joseph and interrogating him for information on his encounter with Straights. Donovan had the ability to move so lightly that he could track people at close range without being noticed and could hide himself in an unfurled cloak in mid-air, seemingly invisible. He's defeated when he gets cocky and gets buffeted by a cactus that Joseph had hit with Hamon which lets Joseph turn the tables and interrogate him. After getting the information, Joseph left him tied upside-down to a cactus before driving off, leaving his fate unknown.

*'''Wired Beck:''' A gratingly flamboyant vampire encountered by Joseph and Lisa Lisa before the start of the final battle with the Pillar Men, he ends all of his sentences with "OK" or "K'". They meet him when Joseph tries to open a door which turns out to be Wired Beck in disguise and talks about his backstory, that before Kars made him a vampire he was a criminal convicted for strangling his girlfriend. He reveals his ability to create spikes all over his body from his skin and hair and talks about how he's going to take Lisa Lisa's blood. Lisa Lisa then just twirls her scarf around him, leaving him seemingly unharmed before Joseph informs him that "[[ Fist of the North Star|You're already dead]], OK," just before he disintegrates.
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<h4><span style='color:crimson;font-size:120%'>Part 3: Stardust Crusaders Villains</span></h4>
The antagonists of Part 3 are divided into three rough groups which are mostly separated by their naming conventions, and all but one are loyal to DIO be it out of greed, fanaticism, or malice, they're all out for the Stardust Crusaders.
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<h5><span style='color:goldenrod;font-size:115%'>The Tarot Assassins</span></h5>
The first is the Tarot Assassins, a variety of hitmen hired by DIO to kill the Crusaders with their Stands all being named after tarot cards. Some are just the the name of their associated card though most of them include the color of their Stand as part of the name. Thematically, their names are also representative of their abilities and how they use them or, in some more literal cases, their appearance. All of the assassins themselves are named after musical groups, singers, songs and albums despite some of these groups existing around this time.
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*'''Gray Fly:''' An old codger of an assassin whose MO is getting on the plane/train/boat as his target, then [[Bane|crashing it with no survivors]] except himself. His Stand is '''Tower of Gray''', a flying beetle so fast it can dodge Star Platinum's punches. [[Grimdark|It has a long, Xenomorph-style tongue with which it rips out the tongues of its targets]]. Kakyoin managed to trick it into a predictable pattern that allowed him to shred it using Hierophant Green's tentacles. Tower of Gray's destruction split his head open and seemingly killed him, but he was able to live a little longer and make his way to the cockpit to taunt the Crusaders.

*'''Impostor Captain Tennille:''' A man who killed and impersonated the captain of a boat tasked with transporting the Crusaders to India, who wields the Stand '''Dark Blue Moon'''. DBM is a sea monster, capable of creating barnacle-like growths on his victims that drain their energy, creating whirlpools, and releasing his scales that are like miniature razors. No one suspected him of being a Stand User until he fell for Jotaro's trick and made himself look like an idiot. He forced Jotaro to fight him alone underwater, but was unexpectedly stabbed in the face by Star Platinum's '''Star Finger'''. Like Gray Fly before him, he had a back-up plan and rigged the boat with explosives. His real name was never revealed, but his censored name is "Captain Dragon", which is the real name of the captain in "''Captain & Tenille''".

*'''Forever:''' A sapient orangutan that likes [[Nurgle|smoking pipes]], [[Slaanesh|human pornography]], [[Tzeentch|posing as a regular ape]] and [[Khorne|brutal murder]]. His Stand is '''Strength''', which can possess objects and bring out their "true potential": in the manga this turns a tiny yacht into a massive freighter that Forever has total control over, which lets him phase through its walls. The Crusaders end up on his freighter sometime after the fight against Imposter Tenille since they were forced to abandon ship with the sailors. Forever first appears when the Crusaders are searching the ship for its crew and they find him in a cage where he simply acts smarter than the average animal, doing things like lighting and smoking a cigarette. After killing the last of the sailors, he [[Dranon's delight|prepared to molest Anne who was traveling with the Crusaders]], while he used Strength to trap them in the floor of the ship's deck. Luckily, Jotaro was wary of him, appearing to save Anne and beat him by using Star Finger to push a button into his forehead. In the OVA, Jotaro doesn't escape from being trapped during the fight so Polnareff intervenes and cuts Forever in half. Based on the intelligent orangutan from the horror movie [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091415/ Link.] Named after the Wu-Tang Clan album, ''Wu-Tang Forever''.

*'''Devo the Cursed:''' A Native American assassin with scars covering his entire body who's able to "curse" people to die horrific deaths. In truth, he's a masochist and uses his Stand, '''Ebony Devil''' to possess a killer doll and take a few pages from Chucky's book by murdering someone who hurt him in various brutal and creative ways. When he crawls out of his hiding spot in Polnareff's mini-fridge, he gets one of his eyes poked out only to claim his curse has taken hold and jumps the balcony, leaving his doll to do the job. This shit is fucking brutal, we're talking razors to the back of the foot, shampoo in the eyes, razor-toothed lamprey-mouth, slicing a bellhop's face clean off, and dousing a bed in alcohol in order to ignite it/electrocute Polnareff using a short-circuiting hairdryer. Polnareff manages to outmaneuver him and rip his doll (and therefore his Stand, and therefore ''him'') to pieces, leaving a janitor at the hotel to find Devo's bloody mess in a bathroom. Also called Soul Sacrifice in the official sub to avoid lawsuits, notable because Araki picked the name himself.

*'''Rubber Soul:''' Another assassin sent by DIO who was promised a fuckton of money to kill the Stardust Crusaders. His Stand, '''Yellow Temperance''', is an amorphous blob of flesh that allows him to disguise himself as other people and eat organic matter by covering and dissolving it. The more Yellow Temperance absorbs, the larger it gets and the only way to get rid of it is to attack Rubber Soul himself and since Yellow Temperance is an incredibly fast blob that can act as a shield, it's not an easy task. Rubber Soul was able to "perfectly" disguise himself as Kakyoin sometime after the Devo fight and Hermit Purple detected his presence when used on a television. While his disguise is physically perfect, he acted overly hostile, putting a pickpocket into a "''Coconut Backbreaker''" and infamously making the cherry licking sound, [https://youtube/UQ-g0BdpbDM "Relo relo relo relo..."] When Jotaro gets sick of his shit, still thinking he's Kakyoin, he punches him and knocks his jaw off which breaks the disguise. Asking Jotaro,"[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWKB1Zxg84s DO YOU UNDERSTAND?]" but after experiencing the '''Joestar Family Secret Technique''' and [https://youtube/E_ZDj8N-rAA having his weakness revealed to him] he tries to play it off. Jotaro seems to consider letting him go, but when Rubber messes that up for himself he gets a one passenger ticket on the ORA ORA ORA train. Even though he's terrible actor, doing nothing resembling Kakyoin's behavior he oddly shared the same habit of licking cherries as Kakyoin. His namesake is the Beatles album of the same name but he is called "''Robber Soul''" in the American version of the PS1 game.

[[File:Nicest Man.png|300px|thumb|right|"Bingo, if you tell me to hit a lady one more time...]]
*'''Hol Horse:''' An assassin sent by DIO to take them Joestar Boys out, he's a modern cowboy whose stand is a gun named '''The Emperor''' and is the "Nicest Man in the World". ''The Emperor's'' only real ability is that the bullets are part of his stand, so Hol Horse can manipulate the trajectory of its bullets mid-flight and change their speed. He's a womanizing coward, making lady folk fall in love with him solely so he can take advantage of them and save his bacon. Due to his stand's relative weakness; Hol Horse never fights alone, preferring to fight with a partner because "''It's always better being No. 2''". He teams up with J. Geil at first claiming they're the "strongest combination" but when that all goes South, he gets blamed for J. Geil's death and is almost done if wasn't for those Stardust Boys saving the day. After meeting with DIO, he shows up again with Boingo, and they have a hootenanny using Thoth's predictions to get the drop on them Joestar Boys like hamburger on a grill. [[Just as planned|After sticking his fingers up that escargot-loving Polnareff's nose causes them Crusader types to get hit by a truck]], he makes a mistake and shoots himself in his dang ol' face, forcing him to ['''RETIRE!''']. Despite his luck, he manages to survive Stardust Crusaders, but in the OVA he ends up incapacitated after the fight with Justice instead of escaping. His name is likely a warped pronunciation of the duo, ''Hall & Oates'', plus he has some real [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_Frwi9mE5o knee-slappin'] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6YmNyROlNQ theme songs.]

*'''J. Geil:''' An ugly motherfucker with two right hands. A sadist through and through, he raped and killed Polnareff's sister, which ironically drove Polnareff to also work under DIO to find him and later join the Crusaders. His Stand, '''The Hanged Man''', is made of light that can jump between reflections and attack from them. He is rather clever , and lies to the Crusaders when explaining his powers to throw them through a loop instead of telling the truth like a chump. He tricks Polnareff using a decoy then calls out homeless people so he can use their eyes as hiding places for The Hanged Man. This did not stop him from being turned into a pincushion by Polnareff and hung upside down like his Stand's counterpart in Tarot.

*'''Nena:''': A morbidly obese, short lady disguised as a teenage Indian girl, who possess '''The Empress'''. The Empress is an odd bit in that it manifests itself by infecting victims using Nena's blood. The blood will then grow into an unsightly cyst and evolves into the stand itself, going from a face to a full upper body. Even as just a face, it was strong enough to kill a doctor using only a scalpel placed into its teeth, and when the upper body formed it was able to deliver powerful punches. Nena infected Joseph with a blood drop on his arm and planned to kill him, thinking it was an easy gig as Hermit Purple is not combat-oriented and Hamon can't harm the user's own body. However, Joseph uses his decades of experience and manages to trap The Empress and kill her, resulting in Nena dying as well and freaking out Polnareff who had been flirting with her at the time.

*'''ZZ:''': The person who possesses the Stand: '''Wheel of Fortune'''. Similar to Strength; WoF takes the characteristics of a vehicle, which in his case is a beaten-up old car, which he turned into a spiked death mobile that would make even a [[Warpsmith]] jealous. At first ZZ tried tricking the Crusaders into a car accident and later tampered with a roadsign to make them go the wrong way where he would ambush them. After causing them to get into another accident, he reveals his identity and that WoF is capable of climbing up walls and burrowing underground. He almost manages to kill Jotaro after shooting him with gasoline and delivering an electric shock, but was fooled by a decoy trick and his car was punched into scrap metal. Losing his car, the Crusaders laugh at his lack of well-toned abs, as he only has four, and leave him chained to a rock Prometheus style. One of the characters to break the 4th Wall, claiming he "ended Part 3 early" when it looked like Jotaro was burning and is noted for having gigantic, muscled arms but a comparatively small body. His namesake is the rock band, ''ZZ Top''.

*'''Enya Geil:''' One of DIO's inner circle and his chief adviser. A shriveled old hag who encourages DIO to develop his powers and to rule ''THE WORLD'' with them. Has two right hands just like her son, J. Geil mentioned above, she loves her son and dotes on him, overlooking the fact that he's a rapist serial killer. She is, naturally, ''extremely'' mad at Polnareff and the Crusaders for killing "innocent son". Her Stand, '''Justice''', is a mist taking the form of a giant skull with a English crown that can raise the dead and can control body parts it puts holes into by using a preexisting wound. It can also create illusions and is next to immune to physical damage because it is made of smoke and large enough to cover an entire city. Enya manages to take control of Polnareff's tongue and makes him lick feces from a toilet before being saved by Jotaro. She was then captured by the Crusaders who wanted to interrogate her, but when Steely Dan activated the flesh bud inside of her, she died loyal to DIO and refused to give them information. Ultimately responsible for parts after the third having Stands flying out of their asses by finding and abusing the Stand Arrow. Despite being old and short, in the OVA she takes on a disguise that makes her look young and like a normal woman which she uses to trick Hol Horse, and later, Polnareff. Also in the OVA, she dies immediately after Jotaro defeats her.

*'''Steely Dan:''' A kebab-stand owner(?) who controls the Stand named '''The Lovers'''. The Lovers is microscopic and can't do anything in straight-up combat. Its specialty is that it can infiltrate the bodies of opponents and do damage from within, but more importantly transfers any damage he would take to the infested person so they would feel it in the same area but amplified. Harmful to the point that, Dan, cracking his knuckles was felt by Joseph in his ''prosthetic'' hand so this allowed him to blackmail Jotaro into being his punching bag/man servant. He's pretty notable in the series for pissing off Jotaro to such a degree that [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guTZEIPe-Ks 6 whole pages/20 seconds were entirely devoted to him being ORA ORA ORAed into oblivion]. His namesake is the band, ''Steely Dan'', censored to "S-Terry Dan" in the PS1 game and "Dan of Steel" in certain material. Rather confusingly, in the older Viz Manga Translation it was "censored" to ''Rubber Soul'' despite the actual Rubber Soul, mentioned above, being censored to ''Robber Soul''.

*'''Arabia Fats:''' The person who controlled the stand: '''Sun''', which is a literal sun that could shoot some kind of energy projectile with extreme accuracy. He attempted to burn the Crusaders in the middle of the desert, forcing them to hide under a rock as they had no way of finding him way out in the open. At first it seems like Kakyoin, Jotaro, and Polnareff have gone crazy from the heat as they start having a good laugh which freaks Joseph out. In reality, they had figured out Fats' trick leading Jotaro to throw a rock at him and they leave Fats knocked out in the middle of nowhere in a desert. Fats had no dialogue outside of the noise he made when hit and was given extra quotes in the PS1 game, Joseph even notes how easily he was defeated. His namesake is the pianist, ''Fats Domino''.

*'''Mannish Boy:''' An impossibly intelligent baby who was given to the Crusaders by an unknown person who turned out to not know anything about the him or his parents. He has fangs for some reason, but that's just a clue that he's one of the more depraved characters in Part 3, something only Kakyoin was able to notice. Mannish Boy knows full well how to smoke and was able to avoid suspicion while manipulating the Crusaders into losing trust in Kakyoin. His most directly dangerous quality is his Stand, '''Death 13''', which is a clown-like reaper that can take people into its own personal carnival dreamworld. Whenever someone falls asleep in vicinity to Mannish Boy, they're taken in and can only remember what happens in the dreamworld if he wants them to; in addition, any injuries a person sustains in the dream will show up in real-life. After an absurd amount of creepy shenanigans, he is defeated when Kakyoin figures out how to summon Hierophant Green in the dreamworld. The real final blow is dealt when Kakyoin mixes Mannish Boy's own feces into his baby food which he can't refuse since he's ''just a baby''. Though his Stand is named after a tarot card, it's not clear if he had an association with DIO and he's never seen again after defeat. His namesake is the song, Mannish Boy, by Muddy Waters. "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-3i0CFloQU Lali-Ho~]"

*'''Cameo & Judgement:''' The user of the stand, '''Judgement''', which looks robotic and can grant "wishes" that are all made to [[Tzeentch|backfire]]. After finding Judgement in a genie's lamp, one wish, a "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlqMB23QfH0 HAIL 2 U!]" and the possibility of becoming a famous manga artist to become bigger than Disney and build "Polnareffland", Polnareff wishes for his sister to be brought back to life but there is a twist. Judgement creates an incomplete copy of her out of sand that believes it will only becomes whole by eating Polnareff and the same happens when he creates a clone of Avdol. Before Judgement can have the clones kill Polnareff, Avdol makes his grand return [https://youtube/JXj0qn0DBdQ "YES! I AM!"] After forcing Judgement to retreat, Avdol and Polnareff find Cameo hiding underground and do some good old male bonding into his breathing tube before being giving him his [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS3nur6o6ME "HELL 2 U!"] Cameo's namesake is the singer of the same name, ''Cameo''.

*'''Midler:''' The final of the Tarot assassins sent after the Crusaders. Her Stand, '''High Priestess''', can possess and transform any mineral matter. She first attacked the Crusaders on their submarine by taking the form of different objects to surprise them. It took the form of a giant face to drown the Crusaders when they were fleeing their sinking submarine, only for Jotaro Kujo MD to do some dental work on her, ORA ORA ORA style. Only seen in the manga and anime as being knocked the fuck out with Polnareff saying her teeth were all gone. When Capcom made the fighting game, they asked Araki to draw a more presentable design for her, and delivered with [[PROMOTIONS|a smokin' hot belly dancer.]] Araki apparently liked this design enough to make it canon, as it appears in later artbooks for the series. Some of her artwork in the PS1 game is redrawn art of Yukako Yamagishi from Part 4, most notably her character select portrait. Her namesake is the singer, ''Bette Midler''.
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<h5><span style='color:orange;font-size:115%'>The Egyptian 9 Glory Gods</span></h5>
As the Stardust Crusaders arrived in Egypt, <s>Araki</s> DIO realized he'd gone through almost the entire Major Arcana from the standard Tarot deck and needed a new naming gimmick. To this end, DIO personally met with each of these assassins and sent them out to finish the Stardust Crusaders once and for all. All of their Stands' namesakes are the Egyptian Gods and they are, for the most part, just as dangerous as any of the previous enemies faced (if not more so, since most of them required some amount of teamwork to defeat).

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*'''N'Doul''': A blind man who possesses '''Geb''', a liquid-based Stand capable of traveling underground to strike from unexpected directions. While ''Geb'' can be used from a long distance; N'Doul can't see, so he had to rely on vibrations he felt in the ground in order to track his victims. Despite [https://youtube/G8mW8SJUrZc?t=588 his handicaps], he was able to incapacitate most of the Crusaders, outmaneuvering Avdol and most notably injuring Kakyoin's eyes to a degree that he needed medical attention. He was defeated when Jotaro found him using Iggy and had a literal ''stand-off'' with him. He kills himself using ''Geb'' as an act of loyalty to DIO before talking about the other Egyptian 9 Glory Gods, something Jotaro respects and gives him a proper burial for.

[[File: Oingo & Boingo.png|250px|right|thumb|As long as we don't fail any Stealth or Luck Checks, they don't stand a chance.]]
*'''The Oingo Boingo Brothers''': Brothers who are both stand-wielders and work as a pair, Oingo is the taller one who does all of talking while Boingo is the shorter, introverted one. Oingo possessed "''Khnum''", a Stand that allows him to alter his physical characteristics to disguise himself as another person, but he can apparently only change his body (though he possibly used his hair to disguise his hat). Boingo possessed "''Tohth (Thoth)''", a Stand taking the form of [[Just as planned|a manga that can predict the future with 100% accuracy]], but only describes specific events and none in-between in addition to being vague on minor details.''Thoth's'' predictions had to be obeyed to the exact detail, otherwise, [[Not as planned|consequences will happen now or later]]. The two originally attempted to assassinate the Crusaders, with failures leading Oingo to disguise himself as Jotaro to plant a bomb disguised as an orange. Despite succeeding, Oingo became the victim of the explosion instead of Jotaro because he effectively became Jotaro (which he saw coming, but kept going because of his trust in Boingo). Regrouping, the Brothers end up hospitalized without the Crusaders knowing due to a previous prediction going awry. Boingo is later kidnapped by Hol Horse and convinced into helping him despite Hol Horse initially not believing in ''Thoth's'' predictions. Everything goes exceedingly well until Hol Horse messes up a prediction and is ['''RETIRED!'''] leaving Boingo on his own. Boingo decides to change and use his predictions for good but this was before being mauled by Iggy, leaving him even more perturbed. The Brothers are notable for causing the art style to change to be more abstract with exaggerated features as this is how everything appears in Thoth's pages. The art change was expanded into giving them their own outro in the anime, where the [https://youtube/ZnC1sQXTCtI Brothers sing about themselves and their stands]. Their namesake is the band, ''Oingo Boingo'', which is censored to Oing & Voing and later "Zenyatta & Mondatta", an album by "The Police", in other material.

*'''Mariah''': She's a hot Little Red Riding Hood who's completely devoted to DIO out of her attraction to him. By touching random conspicuous outlets, the Stand '''Bast''' allows Mariah to turn her victims into living magnets that can attract anything metallic, though the power of this magnetism is based upon how close she is and how much time has passed. Mariah instigated one of the more, if not the most, comical fights in all of JoJo by causing Joseph and Avdol to become magnetized and stuck together in compromising positions. With the way ''Bast'' works, they had an embarrassing time tracking her down as she was able to evade them and keep her distance as the effect would wear off if she wasn't close enough. When Joseph and Avdol seeming corner her from opposite sides, their magnetism keeps them from moving. Mariah was defeated when she failed to realize that Joseph and Avdol were strongest magnetized objects nearby and they crush her between them, knocking her out. Her namesake is the singer, ''Mariah Carey'' but her name was censored in the past to "Mahrahia" in Heritage for the Future. She is normally depicted with bluish white or plain white hair, but keeping in line with JoJo's fluid colorations she's blonde in the official colored manga.

*'''Alessi:''' A sadistic, axe-wielding man who controls the stand '''Sethan''', who takes the form of a bird-like shadow with large eyes while its other features are only visible from the side. Alessi enjoys picking on things weaker than him, especially children, to the point that many call him a pedophile. Being a shadow, Sethan can reflect his actions and what he's holding to extend its reach and it can also make some parts of itself tangible in order to inflict physical damage. Sethan's most dangerous power, however, is that anyone who comes into contact with it will be de-aged and lose their memories over time. In a bizarre turn of events, Alessi turns Polnareff into an 8-year old boy, attempts to kill him but fails as he didn't count on a child still having a stand. A female stranger takes Polnareff in to her home after finding him and while she was giving him a bath, Alessi de-ages her into a fetus. [[Wat|A kid Polnareff ends up running around fully naked while holding the dying fetus of his good Samaritan, while being continually de-aged and hunted by Alessi like a deranged pedophile]]. Alessi is beaten when he encounters Jotaro and after de-aging him to 7 years old, is knocked out because Jotaro is really strong even as a child. When he wakes up, Alessi is truly ['''RETIRED!'''] when Jotaro and Polnareff beat him down for good. He's notable for recreating the [[meme|infamous]] [https://youtube/gpCUMdfRa9w "Heeere's Johnny!"] scene from ''The Shining'', and his ability to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjmfggHOvYo transform characters] in ''Heritage for the Future'', his namesake is the duo band, ''The Alessi Brothers''.

*'''Anubis:''' '''Anubis''' is a stand that inhabits a sword with its original user being long dead, it has absorbed the skills of its past users and opponents. Anubis has the ability to pass through things it doesn't want to cut, the ability to memorize his opponents' moves (making sure the same tricks don't work twice), and the ability to possess whoever wields the sword. This makes Anubis a trifecta of a threatening opponent, and this leads to probably the longest fight in Jojo history between switching wielders five times from farmer named Chaka, a barber named Khan, Polnareff, and lastly, a child. The sword almost kills Jotaro, but he's able to shatter the sword to the hilt with the blade ending up in the Nile River. Its an odd bit in that despite Anubis being forged in ancient Egypt, he is shaped and handled like a Japanese Katana (likely indicating history's first proto-weeaboo was Egyptian). Chaka and Khan together have a namesake in singer, ''Chaka Khan''. In the PS1/Arcade game, Anubis is playable as three different characters, Chaka, Khan, and Anubis Polnareff (or Black Polnareff because putting "black" in your name and having your skin color become a shade of brown apparently means "evil version" or "possessed").

*'''Daniel J. D'Arby (D'Arby the Elder):''' The only real fight the heroes couldn't just punch, D'Arby is a professional gambler and cheater whose stand, '''Osiris''', works on psychology. Those who admit defeat in their hearts get their souls ripped out and turned into poker chips for his games so long as it was bet. He's so <u>''good''</u> at cheating that he found a way to cheat a coin drop game against Joseph. Osiris also affords D'Arby with enhanced tactile senses, to the extent that he can tell what a face down card actually is through touch alone. Jotaro broke his two of fingers to keep him from sneaking cards when they set-up poker, but even this doesn't stop him having a kid who works for him rig the game regardless. D'Arby is defeated when, upon seeing ''Star Platinum's'' speed, he begins suspecting that Jotaro cheated even though D'arby himself has extremely <u>''good''</u> cards and ''knows'' that Jotaro <u>''should''</u> have a bad hand. When Jotaro keeps raising the bet with the souls of Avdol, Kakyoin, and ''his mother'', and demands that his opponent ante up with information about DIO's stand, D'Arby psyches himself out so badly that in one of the most well-done scenes in the [https://youtube/WP1arj7AYuI Anime], [https://youtube/DoXR23BMAvU?t=1316 OVA], AND [https://youtube/v_GbKz0E8Nk?t=406 Abridged Series], he fails to call the bluff and has a complete mental breakdown. His breakdown releases all of the souls he collected and becomes unresponsive when asked about DIO's Stand. He's popular in the fandom for [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AI5bg6KEXXA his hilarious attempt at southern-accented Engrish]. He started the trend of gambler characters in later parts exclaiming "'''''Good!'''''" when a bet is made.

*'''Pet Shop:''' Dio's pet falcon who's as crazy as any other assassin in the series. Its Stand, '''Horus''', can create and manipulate ice to lay traps and launch spikes like homing missiles. He's either very smart for what he is or extremely territorial as he killed the informant that was at the mansion gate so he wouldn't report back to the Crusaders. Iggy opts to avoid him when he sees that Pet Shop had impaled two dogs' heads on a spike, but decides to fight him when the dogs' owner shows up. When Iggy tries to escape, the guard falcon displays how fixed on killing him it is by diving underground after him. Pet Shop is killed when he tries to shoot ice of his beak before Iggy launches himself at him and bites it closed which leads to him exploding. Pet Shop's also infamous for being hilariously broken in any game he appears in, because he's a bird with all the frozen [[Dakka]] he could ever need while everyone else is stuck on the ground. Perpetuating the saying "FUCKING HORUS!" beyond the realms of the Imperium. He's also the only villain none of the Crusaders but Iggy encountered (except maybe Boingo), his namesake is the electric pop band ''Pet Shop Boys''.
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=====DIO's Caretakers=====
[[File:Gamer Life.png|500px|thumb|right|To be good at games is to be a transcendent being, equal to the Gods, omniscient.]]
*'''Telence T. D'Arby (D'Arby the Younger):''' Daniel J. D'Arby's younger brother by 10 years who is highly proficient in videogames and last of the Egyptian 9 Glory Gods. Similarly to Daniel, his stand '''Atum''' both sucks out souls when they admit defeat or are defeated by him and relies on psychology, but he has the added ability of being able to read the souls of his opponents to decipher their strategies, but can only decipher them through yes or no questions. Unlike his older brother, he binds the souls of his victims into wooden dolls as trophies, [[Grimdark|complete with them being fully conscious]]. Telence has a dislike for his brother as he believes he is better and that Daniel is scared of him as Daniel would never play games with him like he believed normal brothers would; furthermore, Daniel apparently apologized to him after Telence physically beat Daniel for trying to steal his girlfriend. He claims he doesn't cheat like his brother, but his planning ahead allowed him to beat Kakyoin in a racing game and his ability to read souls let him outplay Jotaro in a baseball game. Jotaro defeats him when he finds a way to cheat by having Joseph use Hermit Purple to play the game in his stead. Since Telence lacks his brother's intuition he was unable to see through the trick until it was too late, and as Jotaro points out, Daniel would've noticed easily. He's not as lulzy in terms of accents as his brother, but his [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yieQpgvjAq0 video games deliver the encounter's much-needed Engrish] and the [https://youtube/ZznVQd4q2JI soul-reading dialogue] is a nice touch. Telence shares his namesake with brother, musician ''Terence Trent D'arby''.

*'''Kenny G.:''' One of DIO's more minor henchmen, his Stand is '''Tenore Sax''', which is an illusionary stand that manifests as an endless labyrinth. While seemingly a daunting foe; he was quickly detected by Iggy and disabled. Pretty much a joke character, but his Stand is notable for being named after an instrument rather than a song, band or performer.

*'''Nukesaku:''' The only one of DIO's henchmen not to wield a stand or be named after a musician, Nukesaku is a runt vampire, who's only power besides being vampire is that the back of his head has a female face to disguise himself. Needless to say, even his only shtick was horrible and Jotaro decided to test his immortality by ORA ORA ORAing him into submission. He is killed by DIO after willingly leading the crusaders into DIO's main chamber. A hilarious note is that "Nukesaku" is not really his name, in Japanese it roughly translates to "Idiot". People just call him that so much that it became more common to call him idiot, rather than his real name. He's called "Loser" in the English dub.

*'''Vanilla Ice:''' DIO's most fanatical and powerful vampiric servant...who appears to have taken fashion tips from the Pillar Men. Vanilla Ice became a vampire after Dio tested his loyalty by saying he needed his blood to fully regenerate, where he went the extra mile by using his own stand to decapitate himself without hesitation. Impressed by his devotion (or maybe it was his [[/d/|massive bulge]]) DIO used his blood to resurrect Vanilla Ice, granting him near-immortality. His stand is named '''Cream''', a humanoid monster that has a unique ability where it swallows itself (and Vanilla Ice) in order to become [[Sphere of Annihilation|a null void, literally wiping out chunks of reality]] like the Eldar's D-Cannons. This power is so fucking awesome that it killed Avdol effortlessly, leaving only a pair of arms on the floor. He then killed Iggy by kicking him to near death, out of rage when they tried and failed to assassinate him with a sand clone of DIO (he was forced to destroy the clone with his master's image, which made him ballistic). He would have likely killed Polnareff as well but DIO forgot to tell him that sunlight would incinerate him, which Polnareff used to kill him after he shrugged off every other attack used on him. He's named after American rapper: ''Vanilla Ice'', although due to copyright concerns, he's named as "Cool Ice" in the English dub.

====Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable Villains====
=====Yoshikage Kira=====
[[File:Kirainanutshell.png|thumb|300px|This perfectly sums him up.]]

A serial killer with a really creepy hand fetish. As in, he chops off women's hands to make the severed hands into his "girlfriends", keeping them in fancy boxes and having romantic dinners with them... until they rot and he has to get a replacement. The worst part is that he's seriously obsessed with living an ordinary life as a mediocre person...while also being a serial killer with a really creepy hand fetish. Yet his facade of mediocrity belies an incredible ruthlessness and guile that makes him a genuine threat to anyone who crosses him. Although he's the least threatening main arc villain in terms of his objectives (occasional serial killing compared to stealing fortunes/ruling the world as a vampire, becoming a perfect being and exterminating/ruling humanity, ruling the world as a vampire again, controlling all crime in Naples/Italy, rewriting the entirety of reality, using Jesus's corpse to make America great at the expense of the rest of the world, and...whatever the fuck the stone humans want), he's easily among the creepiest by dint of how coldly meticulous and under the radar he went.

For the most part, he's watched over by his dad, who's a ghost inside of a photograph thanks to his own Stand's abilities. Otherwise, he uses his Stand "'''''Killer Queen'''''", a pink [[Felinid|catlike humanoid]], as a killing instrument. See, its power allows it to imbue objects with an explosive charge which he can set off at will. These explosions are so efficient that they don't leave any trace of his victim, which has led to his long career as a killer. The only thing that he chooses to leave behind is a hand, which he will usually have a relationship with despite being the hand of some girl he just murdered. When combined with Stray Cat's air bubbles, these bombs become ''invisible projectiles''. "Killer Queen" also has two separate components to it. The first is "Sheer Heart Attack", a skull-faced tank-bomb that comes from his right hand. This bomb chases down any heat signatures, which makes it effective for hunting down solitary targets, but when crowded with many heat sources, gets disoriented easily. The second power he gains after switching faces with another person and getting stabbed with a Stand Arrow. This power, "Bites the Dust", is a tiny "Killer Queen" which passes Killer Queen on to a non-Stand user, kills anyone who even ''asks'' them about Kira, and then loops time back to when Bites the Dust was activated, which will happen as much as it needs to until Kira can find out who it is that died. Additionally, anyone killed by Bites the Dust in a time loop will still die at the same moment in subsequent loops, allowing Killer Queen to kill multiple people at the same time. However, he can only have one bomb active at a time, and attacking him directly forces him to withdraw Bites the Dust. The time-loop power was going originally going to be more complicated (Araki considered having its use on Josuke as being the explanation for an identical looking stranger saving his life as a child in the snow) but it was scrapped for being too difficult to write in without inducing plotholes.

=====The Morioh Stand Users=====
*'''Anjuro "Angelo" Katagiri''': A real sick fuck and first villain of Part 4, Angelo is a 34-year-old convicted serial killer and rapist who was put on death row for his crimes in 1994, meaning he was 12 when they were committed. Joseph's vision of him brings Jotaro to Morioh so he can warn his Josuke of the danger. Prior to his execution Keicho Nijimura shot him with the Stand Arrow, granting him his Stand which he used to survive his hanging. His Stand, '''Aqua Necklace''', is similar to N'doul's Geb, but instead of being an extremely long-ranged body of water, it's a small being that take the form of and fuse with liquids and can become mist (if evaporated). Unlike Geb, Aqua Necklace can be used for communication and is effectively invulnerable as heating it up only made it turn into steam but if it's held in a container and moved around, Angelo will be moved as well. Angelo uses it to enter people's bodies and control or outright kill them. When Josuke foiled his robbery, he began targeting his the Higashikatas out of spite but Josuke captured him. Aqua Necklace's ability to disguise itself allowed Angelo to kill Josuke's grandfather and escape to plot his grand revenge. Over the week, Angelo had sabotaged the house to be filled with water during a rainstorm to literally flush the out. Luckily, Josuke had prepared for the situation when Aqua Necklace jumped into his mouth, it was captured in a rubber glove he swallowed and repaired. Cornered in the street, Josuke fuses him to a rock before Angelo starts spilling how he got his Stand and who gave it to him. The criminal stealthily takes a child hostage to force his release and makes the dire mistake of insulting Josuke's hair while doing so. Josuke then completely fuses him with the rock and reforms it to look like a big face, leaving a sapient boulder and landmark of the city: ''「'''Angelo's Rock'''」: A big stone shaped like Angelo, a popular meeting place for couples despite its creepy appearance''. Setting the bar for future Part 4 antagonists, Angelo was incredibly violent and intelligent with a simple Stand ability that could be lethal if used properly. Angelo also set the bar for violence in Part 4 in his first physical appearance, he bites off a dog's face and spits the blood into the owner's mouth along with his Stand because he had stepped in the dog's feces.

*'''Keicho Nijimura''': The elder Nijimura Brother and the brains of the two, instigating the entire first half of the Part. Shortly after the events of Stardust Crusaders Keicho and Okuyasu's father was mutated by DIO's fleshbud, so Keicho took it upon himself to care for both his brother and father. He resented the responsibility, hating what his abusive father had become drove Keicho to believe that the only way to begin his life would be to find someone to kill his father who regenerated all damage. When he obtained the Stand Arrow he set out to find a person with a Stand capable of finally killing his father, so Stand users in the first half of Diamond Is Unbreakable are his doing. Keicho himself has a Stand called '''Bad Company''', which is [[Bolt Action| an army of small soldiers complete with tanks and helicopters.]] While they are small, the damage dealt by their weapons is lethal if focus-fired and the missiles launched the helicopters are comparable to weak grenades. Additionally, being a colony-type Stand, damage dealt to Keicho is minimal if only a few of his units are taken out, significant amount of them must be eliminated for him to take notable damage and all of them for it to kill him. When Josuke and Koichi investigate the Nijimura Residence, Keicho shoots Koichi with the arrow and takes him inside while Okuyasu dealt with Josuke. He later faces Josuke and is overconfident when has all of Bad Company focused on Josuke, but is defeated when Josuke repairs two of Bad Company's missiles and sends them back at him. He was stunned when Josuke repairs the photo that Nijimura Sr. had been looking for the last 10 years and when Josuke suggested finding a Stand User to heal him instead of killing him. Suddenly, ''Red Hot Chili Peppers'' appears through an electrical outlet, seeing him about to strike Okuyasu, Keicho sacrifices himself to knock him out of the way before calling his brother a burden one last time. Keicho is dragged into the electrical outlet and his body is found fried on power lines, with RHCP taking the Bow & Arrow for his own purpose. Near the end of Part 4, Keicho makes one last appearance in Okuyasu's near-death experience where he asks his brother where he truly wants to go and disappears when Okuyasu answered. His Stand, ''Bad Company'', gets its name from the English Rockband of the same name.

[[File: RHCP.png|right|245px|thumb|You can tell he knows his AC from his DC.]]
*'''Akira Otoishi''': One of the Stand Users shot with the Bow & Arrow by Keicho: an arrogant and selfish rock guitarist with a magnificent mane of lavender hair. His Stand, '''Red Hot Chili Pepper''', is powered by electricity and can travel miles away from Akira so long as it has a power source. ''RHCP'' is capable of having insane power and speed when it has enough electricity, but if it runs out of power it can't return to Akira which could be lethal for him. When Akira learned from Josuke that Joseph was coming to Morioh to search for him, Akira devised a plan to fly a remote-controlled plane out to Joseph's ship and kill him. Personally encountering Josuke and Koichi on the docks, he explains his plans to be a "''Ultra Super Guitarist''" like his idols: Jimi Hendrix, Jeff Beck, and Eddie Van Halen. Akira tries to act haughty by saying he can beat Josuke with only his pinky which prompts Josuke to break it with a punch which makes him [[RAGE|SO MAD]] his only reaction is to belt out a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H00EE5uu0Po legendary] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ndk30TWzi7U face melter.] Despite all his rage, he still ended up locked in a cage after Josuke defeated him and Okuyasu saw through his disguise when he got to the boat. Akira was arrested and sentenced to three years in prison on felony charges as he used RHCP to steal a lot of expensive stuff and stayed well-behaved as Jotaro and Josuke would "Chase him down to the deepest corner of Hell and '''end him'''," otherwise. He made his latest appearance in ''Thus Spoke Rohan Kishibe Episode 2'' where he asks for Rohan's autograph, apparently reformed from villainous attitude. Akira is notable for having the chapter be interrupted by an explanation of how his guitar works and his Stand's namesake is the band of the same name. His theme songs in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yA_847kvmY All-Star Battle] and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gl6CAsKJ0Y Eyes of Heaven] both sound like ''Red Hot Chili Peppers'' songs and he likely has the least butchered censored name, Chili Pepper.

*'''Bug-Eaten and another rat''': Two rats who were pierced by the Stand Arrow, giving them both the same Stand. Though we never see their thoughts like we could with Iggy, it is obvious they are relatively intelligent and [[Mork|cunning]] compared to normal rats. Their Stand, '''Ratt''', is a small turret that fires toxic barbs [[Tzimisce|that causes flesh to slough off and form into some kind of bloody gelatin]] for the rats to eat at a later time. They still act very much like normal rats; the primary use of their power has them collect food and expand their territory, [[Skaven|except with a horrifying flesh melting cannon at their disposal]]. Jotaro takes Josuke with him to go hunting for the rats after teaching him how to use ball-bearings as ammo by flicking them. The first rat gets cornered and killed pretty quickly, but the second one (which Jotaro named Bug-Eaten because of its mangled ear) puts up quite the fight. Bug-Eaten almost kills Jotaro with a shot to the neck and almost kills Josuke when he uses himself as bait, since Josuke would not be able to repair himself should he get hit.

*'''Yoshihiro Kira''': Kira's father. He and his wife did not have Yoshikage until they were both at an advanced age, and therefore died when Kira was still young. He became a ghost and somehow obtained a Stand as well, '''Atom Heart Father'''. This Stand with no physical body allows Yoshihiro to bind himself to pictures, and anything that he manipulates inside the picture moves outside of them as well. Yoshihiro can turn the area depicted in an isolated space meaning anything outside the room cannot enter and anything inside cannot leave. Jotaro managed to trap him by folding up the photograph he was in and nail it to a wall, but Yoshihiro tricked Okuyasu into unfolding it and letting him fly off, taking the Stand Arrow with him. Unlike Keicho, he let the arrow guide him to people that were worthy of obtaining Stands. He knows all too well what kind of horrible monster his son had become, but he still protected him [[dawww|because Kira was his only son and he loved him]]. Yoshihiro reunites with his son to help him plot against Josuke and Co. and unknowingly gives Yoshikage the key to his victory. During the final confrontation, he slipped into Hayato's backpack and told Yoshikage Josuke's location through a cellphone. Josuke burns him out and using the phone has Yoshikage blow up his own father.

*'''Ken Oyanagi''': The Janken Kid. A child with a hole in his cheek courtesy of the Stand Arrow, Ken loves janken (rock-paper-scissors) and pesters Rohan into playing with him. Rohan is not amused and at one point [[awesome|decks Ken in the face for being an annoying little shit]]. The punch turned out to be a bad idea though, [[Just As Planned|because Ken had just thrown paper]]. This triggered his Stand, '''Boy II Man''', to take away a third of Heaven's Door as its ability is similar to the D'arby Brothers' Stands. If Ken wins three out of five games he gains permanent control of the opponent's Stand. This lead to an epic game of janken that looked like an actual fight in any other series as they were both glowing with energy and flying into the air as they cast their choices. When Rohan wins, The kid would rather die than submit and jumped in front of a truck, but Rohan jumped after him using his own luck to have it narrowly avoid them. Oyanagi's Stand's namesake is the American singing group, ''Boyz 2 Men''.

*'''Tama''': Also known by his Stand, '''Stray Cat'''. He started out as a normal British Blue until he was struck in the throat by the Stand Arrow. He then broke into the Kawajiri residence's basement, where Shinobu found him. She wanted to chase him out, but he got cut to death by broken glass shards. Kira buried the cat in the yard, and after two days a strange plant sprouted from the grave. Reborn as a plant, he held a grudge against Shinobu and attempted to kill her with with his Stand. ''Stray Cat'' can manipulate air into bubbles that only burst on command and are easily capable of suffocating, trapping, and puncturing its targets. Kira saved Shinobu from him, but nearly died of an emphysema (Stray Cat can also form air bubbles beneath others' skins) trying to kill him so he used yarn to calm him. Kira found out that Stray Cat sleeps when not exposed to sunlight, so he dug him up and put him in a flower pot in the attic. Hayato finds him and later uses him in a plan to kill Kira which fails and has Kira place him in Killer Queen's abdomen, allowing him to make bombs out of the air bubbles. After Kira's death, Okuyasu decided to keep him as a pet and he got along with his father nicely.

*'''Toyohiro Kanedaichi''': A weird dude living in an old telephone tower by himself. He's self-sufficient, having everything he needs in or just around the tower in places he can reach with some contraptions. He's got a good reason for this: the moment he tries to leave the tower he turns to metal and stays like that until he enters it again. This is because the tower he's in is actually a Stand, '''Super Fly'''. It is an autonomous stand keeping him prisoner, and it needs someone else to enter before he can leave. On top of this, Super Fly returns all damage dealt to it into the same direction as said damage came from. Trapped inside with nothing to do, Toyohiro became an incredible acrobat to navigate Super Fly and memorizes exactly where things will ricochet inside. He lures Josuke in with help from Yoshihiro so he can leave but has a change of heart in the end. He decides to stay in the tower and becomes something of a local celebrity, often being visited by tourists.

*'''Terunosuke Miyamoto''': [[Night Lords|A man obsessed with fear]]. Terunosuke's Stand, '''Enigma''', only works after he has identified a person's tell for when they're afraid. Once he confirms the tell, he can place people into sheets of paper which also works on non-sapient things like cartons of milk, bowls of noodles, scorpions and electricity. [[Bag of Holding|A trapped person or object can be freed by having the paper opened]]. He kidnaps Koichi and Tomoko, using them as hostages to scare Josuke when he and Yuya Fungami track him down. Josuke delivers a warning to Miyamoto when Josuke is trapped, and the audacity pressures Yuya into confronting the Enigma Boy despite his own fear. Chasing him down, Terunosuke uses his sense of smell to find Josuke and Koichi among hazards trapped in paper, and finds Josuke and Koichi seconds away from being put into a paper shredder. Allowing himself to be turned into paper also, Yuya pulls the duo, and they quickly incapacitate Miyamoto. Josuke decides not to kill Terunosuke, but instead decides to Angelo him, and uses Crazy Diamond to fuse him into a book, which remains with the Morioh library to this day.

*'''Masazo Kinoto''': An architect hired by Rohan to evaluate the damage done to his house by the fire Rohan had caused due to his intense game of chance with Josuke. Masazo is a weird looking dude, who is mostly bald with a tuft of hair in the shape of the Morioh M. He acts even stranger, always keeping his back to the wall unless he's sure Rohan is right in front of him. Rohan gets suspicious and uses ''Heaven's Door'' to get a read on him. It looks like Masazo is just somewhat neurotic, but when Rohan tricks the man and looks at his back, it bursts open as the independent Stand '''Cheap Trick''' jumps onto Rohan's back, killing Masazo. Cheap Trick's abilities are to hold onto someone's back no matter what, and to kill that person when someone sees that person's back as well as transferring onto the person who saw its victim's back. It can also talk with non-Stand users and even animals. Rohan exploited its ability by heading into Reimi's alley and walking out, turning his back to Koichi. The moment Cheap Trick turns around, however, it was grabbed by the evil spirits in the alley and dragged into Hell, [[awesome|with Rohan writing that last part into Cheap Trick using Heaven's Door to make sure it happens]].

====Part 5: Vento Aureo Villains====
=====Boss/Diavolo=====
Diavolo (which is his moniker by Polnareff) is the boss of the Mafia group "Passione", though he never shows his face and operates under the pseudonym "Soliddo Nazo". He also has pink hair and doesn't wear a shirt, but he is anything but fabulous. Diavolo's main quirk is that he is a MAJOR control freak, which mainly manifests as an anonymity complex, a pathological need to erase the evidence of his own existence, and a split personality named Vinegar Doppio who acts as his ''Consigliere'', his second-in-command.

His stand, "'''''King Crimson'''''", is a red and white man with a tiny face on his forehead and has a power that's really difficult to understand. The simplest explanation is, there is a point of time, Point A. In 10 seconds, Diavolo and only Diavolo can move around, but he can't interact with objects unlike The World's timestop. Other people within these 10 seconds are not conscious, but follows what actions they were supposed to do according to fate. 10 seconds later, at time Point B, anybody caught in King Crimson's power would be where they would be in 10 seconds from Point A, but they have no memory of doing that, seeming like time has skipped. Meanwhile, Diavolo had moved during those skipped 10 seconds to a perfect position to impale an enemy with his fist. As Doppio, "King Crimson" has a secondary Stand in its forehead called "'''''Epitaph'''''" which allows him to see 10 seconds into the future. Combining King Crimson with Epitaph's ability to know exactly what will happen in the 10 seconds of skipped time means that Diavolo is effectively untouchable, as he can dodge and counter almost any attack thrown at him. [[Meme|It just works.]]

Between Diavolo being a mysterious figure (unintentionally making him a dull character thanks to how little we know about him), and his confusing powers, he's regarded as the weakest of the major villains.

=====Passione=====

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<h5><span style='color:orange;font-size:115%'>Passione as a whole</span></h5>
The biggest mafia outfit of Italy, Passione has its hand in every criminal pie, ranging from illegal taxis to hired murder and, of course, drug trafficking. In true ''Jojo'' fashion, each and every single member that isn't a generic mobster is flamboyant as fuck to the point one wonders why the Italian cops don't just arrest every fabulous person they come across just to be sure. Probably has to do with all high-ranking or elite members of Passione being Stand users.

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*'''Leaky-Eye Luca''': An "officer" of Passione in charge of collecting their share of the profit illegal taxis make around Naples. His nickname comes from him surviving being stabbed in the eye, at the cost of said eye permanently crying. Luca is an asshole who fakes pitying drivers who can't or don't want to pony up before beating them to death with his shovel [[Dark Eldar|and selling drugs to kids on the side]]. Giorno fucks him up with his own shovel when he refuses to pay his share, setting up the events of Part 5.

*'''Polpo''': An ABSOLUTE UNIT in both girth and height. This ginormous specimen of a dude lives a cozy life in a decked out prison cell including a gun safe and a pantry, he's also a <s>religious</s>{{BLAM|HERETICAL}} man in his own twisted way, [[Inquisition|claiming that God forgives even murder if it's for a right cause]]. Polpo is Passione's recruiter, tasking applicants to prove their craftiness by giving them a lighter they must keep alight for 24 hours. If the lighter goes off (and since the test is designed to be failed, it will), lighting it up again triggers Polpo's Stand, '''Black Sabbath''', an automatic Stand who attacks the lighter's holder with a Stand arrow; survivors get inducted into Passione. Infuriated by Black Sabbath killing a bystander who turned on the lighter after it got snuffed, Giorno, with the help of Koichi, destroys Black Sabbath and tricks Polpo into [[Awesome|shooting himself in the head with a revolver Gold Experience turned into a banana.]]

*'''Mario Zucchero''': A low-ranking member of Passione who, with his buddy Sale, try to eliminate the Bucciarati gang to steal Polpo's fortune, hidden by Bruno Bucciarati on Capri Island. Despite being weak by Part 5 standards, his hit-and-run style of combat manages to pick off almost all the gang before Bucciarati and Abacchio manage to get him. His Stand, '''Soft Machine''', allow him to stab people and things and make them deflate like balloons. Notable for his attack plan, involving [[What|deflating and hiding a copy of the boat the Bucciarati gang rides inside said boat to give himself plenty of ambush points]].

*'''Sale''': A low-ranking member of Passione who, with his buddy Zucchero, try to eliminate the Bucciarati gang to steal Polpo's fortune, hidden by Bruno Bucciarati on Capri Island. Sale is much more of a direct fighter than his pal, thanks to his Stand '''Kraftwerk''', who can remove or add kinetic energy from items, allowing him to do things like stopping and sending back bullets to an attacker. While insanely overpowered against his opponent Mista; who uses a gun; his cockiness and ignorance about how Sex Pistols work ends up doing him in, when his own power was turned against him by the Pistols and left him lobotomized. Despite bleeding a literal lake of blood on that truck's roof, If ''Purple Haze Feedback'' is canon, he somehow survived the bullet in his brain. Only to die to one of the new bad guys who tears his heart out.
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<h5><span style='color:orange;font-size:115%'>La Squadra Esecuzioni</span></h5>
The "Execution Team" of Passione, regrouping their hitmen. Upon seeing their colleagues leading drug trafficking and illegal gambling had more territory and money than them, they started complaining and threatened to start digging into Diavolo's past. In retaliation, Diavolo [[Grimdark|cut one of them into pieces while still alive, cast the parts into resin to form a puzzle and mailed it to them]] as a warning. This proved to be the last straw and they defected, hunting down Trish as payback.

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*'''Sorbet and Gelato''': The two members of La Squadra who tried to find dirt on Diavolo and paid the ultimate price when their boss found out about it. Sorbet was the guy turned into a human puzzle mentioned above while Gelato, his (really for once in ''JoJo'') gay lover was forced to watch, [[Grimdark|killing himself rather than watching the full ordeal]]. Notable for being bland as fuck-looking compared to everybody who isn't a background character in Part 5.

*'''Formaggio''': [[Dark_Eldar|The sadist of the bunch]] and the first one the Bucciarati gang faces. His Stand, '''Little Feet''', causes objects and living beings to shrink once he touches them, stopping only when he decides it or instantly reversing the shrinking; a flashback has him kill a politician by shrinking a car to microscopic size, drop it in a glass of wine, then growing it back once his target swallowed it. He loses to Narancia, ironically the smallest of the group.

*'''Illuso''': The arrogant of the bunch. His Stand, '''Man in the Mirror''' allows him to drag people into a "mirror world" where everything is reversed and invisible to anybody Illuso didn't drag with him, in addition to having his Stand being virtually indestructible if enemy Stands don't enter the mirror world with their user. Purple Haze, with some help from Abacchio and Giorno, [[Exterminatus|melts his face off.]]

*'''Prosciutto''': The cool dude of the bunch. Acting as a big brother and mentor of sorts for his partner Pesci, he's also a ruthless guy who doesn't take chances. '''The Grateful Dead''', his Stand, induces extra-rapid physical and mental aging on people it touches unless it's cold enough, causing Prosciutto and Pesci to hoard ice cubes to not die. Badass to the end, he manages to survive being thrown under a train long enough to try to kill Giorno and team one last time and imparting some last-minute wisdom to Pesci.

*'''Pesci''': The pussy of the bunch. Pesci is a whiner who can't do anything without angsting or asking Prosciutto for validation, to the point he's called a "momma's boy" even by bystanders. However, like every pussy, Pesci has a breaking point that causes him to go postal once reached, using his Stand '''Beach Boy''', a fishing rod able to snare people through walls and reflect damage to whoever tries to cut the line, with great skill. Ironically the more dangerous of the duo he formed with his brother, as Beach Boy's hook can cut almost anything and even snag its hook into someone's heart. Bucciarati nearly gets killed by him once he pushes him far enough, but manages to exploit his blind rage to finish him off, lamenting how wasteful Pesci's defeat due to misusing his newfound spirit was.

*'''Melone''': The sex pest and womanizer of the bunch, and no they're not one and the same. He is always on the hunt to find an ideal "mother" figure so he can harvest some genetic data for his Stand, '''Baby Face'''. Once he has the data, his Stand is created and becomes an automatic Stand that, while capable of absorbing any form of matter, requires a time to develop. As this is an automatic Stand, once it reaches a certain point, it goes mad and control is lost. Once Baby Face was dealt with, he was pretty much helpless when Giorno tracked him down.

*'''Ghiaccio''': [[Angry_Marines|The fuck-ass mad one of the bunch]], with grammar being his main trigger, stopping in the middle of a battle to rant about mispronunciations of Italian words in other languages. He is also very dangerous as his Stand '''White Album''' not only allows him to freeze anything around him, but it also forms a suit of impenetrable ice armor with skates. It gets worse when he manages to reach absolute zero, when he can stop bullets in midair and then throw them back. In fact, the only weakness of this stand is a singular airhole in the back of the suit's neck, a weakness that could only have been exploited by Giorno and Mista.

*'''Risotto Nero''': The boss of La Squadra and [[Ravenloft|so goth he shits Hot Topic shirts]], though he doesn't involve himself with matters until Sardinia and never even faced Buccierati's gang. By that point, he tries to murder Doppio in order to flush out the boss with his Stand '''Metallica''', tiny metallic ghost-looking orbs that can manipulate iron into any shape, including the iron in blood. What he didn't account for was that Doppio would be so persistent in escaping or that he was actually able to use some of King Crimson's power. It took a hell of a fight, but he was eventually done in by an unsuspecting Narancia; who thinking that he found an assassin out in the open instead of in a fight; ambushed him.

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<h5><span style='color:orange;font-size:115%'>Unità Speciale</span></h5>
The "Special Unit" of Passione, acting as Diavolo's elite guard. While powerful in their own right, they also are completely nuts. Diavolo siccs them on Giorno and team once they betray Passione.

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*'''Tiziano''': One of the two Stand users awaiting the gang in Venice and a creepy fuck matched only by his butt-buddy Squalo. His Stand, '''Talking Head''', is a parasite that affixes itself to the tongue of a person and forces them to only tell lies, no matter how blatant, confusing everybody while Squalo moves in for the kill. [[Dawww|Took a bullet for Squalo both out of love and to give him an opportunity to off Narancia]].
*'''Squalo''': One of the two Stand users awaiting the gang in Venice and a creepy fuck matched only by his butt-buddy Tiziano. Squalo's Stand is '''Clash''', a robotic shark that can appear in any body of liquid, including drinking glasses and puddles. Notable for being the second guy to almost off one of the Jobros (Narancia) after Pesci, and like Pesci, losing because he got overconfident; in his case, gloating while his target could still fight back.
*'''Carne''': Like Pesci above, Carne is fucking weird-looking and way more dangerous than he looks. His introduction has him menacingly stroll towards the group and [[Fail|getting shot in the face by Mista]] as they're about to travel by plane. [[Just as planned]] since Carne's Stand, '''Notorious B.I.G''', can only trigger when it's user dies (How anyone ever found out this was his ability is unknown, it probably did something else too... maybe). Notorious B.I.G is an immortal fleshy blob that feeds on kinetic energy, growing bigger and hungrier the more people or things move in addition to being completely invincible and unkillable. Trish saved the day at the last second, dropping Notorious B.I.G in the ocean where it endlessly chases the currents.
*'''Cioccolata''': The absolute king of [[Dark_Eldar|sick fucks]] in the whole series, hated even by Diavolo. Before joining Passione, Cioccolata was a doctor who intentionally fucked up anesthesia so his patients would wake up in the middle of operations, and before that he worked at a nursing home where he emotionally abused old people till they killed themselves. '''Green Day''', his Stand, diffuses spores that start growing rapidly once their carriers move down in altitude even by a few inches, devouring them in seconds while the sick fuck records it. Once Giorno got to him, he [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSHcFlNOElE| got MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA'd for 7 pages/30 seconds before being catapulted into a garbage truck].
*'''Secco''': Cioccolata's human dog/sex slave/gimp/whatever the fuck. Secco does whatever his "master" tells him to in exchange for headpats and sugar cubes, including fighting Stand users with his own, '''Oasis'''. Oasis looks like a DIY gimp suit that allows Secco to turn solid ground into mud, allowing him to swim through it or fling it at his enemies. Bucciaratti manages to kill him by turning his ground-liquifying powers against him, blowing out a tire underground and Secco's ears with it.

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====Part 6: Stone Ocean Villains====
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=====Enrico Pucci=====
The big bad of Part 6, a <s>gay</s><s>straight</s>SOMETHING ex-Catholic priest who worships the ground Dio walks on and who seeks to use his Stands to rewrite reality as Dio would have wished it. Some say he's gay, as there's flashback scenes where they're laying in bed together (not naked, but their clothes are visibly ruffled), but there is a lack of confirmation as to whether or not Pucci was just that big of an admirer of DIO or actually down bad for him. His Stand "'''''Whitesnake'''''" can swipe away other people's Stands or memories in the form of a disk. Pucci can then insert these disks into other people, allowing them to view these memories or use the Stand on the disk. "Whitesnake" later becomes "'''''C-Moon'''''", which can manipulate gravity. Then shit really hits the fan when he later attains the Stand "'''''Made In Heaven'''''" which can accelerate time ''and'' manipulate gravity. To make a complicated explanation a little easier to explain, as time continues to travel, the universe will hit it's eventual end, and a new universe will be created, where everything repeats itself, according to "fate". Pucci can then alter this universe to his desire, basically making the perfect world that Dio always wanted. With his newfound power, Pucci [[Grimdark|single-handedly slaughters Jotaro and Jolyne's group]], leaving Emporio as the sole survivor. Ultimately, he gets fucked over by Weather Report because Emporio turned his own Stand's powers against him and the universe ends up resetting itself, with Pucci erased from existence.

=====Green Dolphin Street Prison Inmates=====
Recruited by Enrico.
*'''Gwess''': A typical parrot-loving Florida woman who Jolyne shares a bunk with upon arriving at Green Dolphin. Her stand is '''Goo-Goo Dolls,''' which gives her the ability to shrink people down the closer they are to her stand. Gwess forces a tiny [[Furry|Jolyne to speak in "uwu" talk and cosplay as a mouse]] (With an actual mouse corpse). She doesn't join the group after being defeated, as Jolyne doesn't trust her, but she occasionally provides her with information.

*'''Johngalli A''': A near-blind inmate with an inexplicably thicc ass who orchestrated the events that led to Jolyne's imprisonment. Holds a striking resemblance to N'doul, especially when he goes to snipe Jolyne and Jotaro from far away with a smuggled sniper rifle, using his stand '''Downtown Manhattan''' to angle his bullets towards his target.

*'''Thunder McQueen''': A suicidal inmate who was given the stand '''Highway To Hell''' by Whitesnake. Sounds like a stand with an awesome name, right? Well, too bad it's wasted on ghostly propellers that share damage on nearby people whenever the user tries to kill himself.

*'''Miraschon''': A hoop-haired inmate possibly related to the D'Arby brothers with the stand '''Marilyn Manson'''. After being caught stealing by Pucci while he was performing Kakyoin's cherry trick 2.0, he gives her the stand via disk and sends her out to defeat the Green Dolphin gang. The stand works by forcibly taking money from a target whenever they lose a bet or wager, which may extend to organs based on their black market value if they lack the necessary funds.

*'''Lang Rangler''': Contender for one of the weirdest fashion senses in Jojo (And that's saying something when people like Fugo and Anasui exist.) Attempts to kill Jolyne while she attempts to send her father's stand disk to the Speedwagon foundation with '''Jumpin' Jack Flash''', a stand that would solo any of the other Jojo protagonists with its ability to create a zero-gravity zone, complete with horrifying effects such as losing bladder control. Unfortunately for him, he exists in the same part as the OP Weather Report, who generates astronaut suits made of clouds in order to survive the effects and counterattack. Other notable feats about him include stabbing a teacher 69 times and having some slightly wonky cgi in the anime adaptation.

*'''Sports Maxx''': Ah yes, another terrifying psychopath with a silly name. This time around, Sports Maxx is a ruthless gangster (And not the fun Passione type of gangster) who murdered Hermes's sister Gloria for reasons that amounted to Hermes simply being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Despite having been caught committing murder, his sentence manages to be reduced to a measly 5 years under charges of tax evasion and assault, so Hermes decides to take matters into her own hands and kill him herself. In a series first, she actually manages to ambush and kill him before he has a chance to fight back, but soon discovers his stand '''Limp Bizkit''' (Or ''Flaccid Pancake'' in some localisations) has the ability to spawn ''invisible zombies'' from nearby corpses, which attack and eat anything alive in their vicinity. Maxx becomes a zombie himself and manages to chomp away at Jolyne, Hermes, and F.F several times until he is pummeled to dust by Kiss.

*'''Guccio''': Boy, Bucciarati did not age well, did he? Jokes aside, this weird, scrawny man never fights Jolyne and the others directly, instead being used by Pucci to activate '''Survivor''' within the maximum security ward. The stand itself doesn't do much other than spread a weak electric shock of 0.07 volts, but those volts are enough to radically [[RAGE|increase aggression]] while removing pain and fear, escalating a disagreement or slightly aggravating mistake into a [[RIP AND TEAR|gory, animalistic brawl.]] After turning the maximum security ward into an average [[/v/]] board, Guccio mostly stays out of sight to wait for the conflict to blow over until Anasui finds him and turns him into a human beartrap with Diver Down by inverting his ribcage. Later on, Pucci finds his corpse and turns him into his personal boombox to play Georg Friedrich Händel's ''Messiah''. If you've gotten this far into the series, this should sound pretty normal by now.

*'''Viviano Westwood''': Not actually an inmate but a security guard driven ballistic by the effects of Survivor. He's also an anomaly in the Jojo series as one of the few people to actually wear normal clothing. After beating a bootleg Giorno Giovanna into a pulp, he releases all the prisoners in the MSW to start a "fight club" and picks Jolyne as his next target. The two engage in hand-to-hand combat, something that doesn't go too well for Jolyne as Westwood is trained as a prison guard to subdue unruly prisoners. Furthermore, Whitesnake gave Viviano '''Planet Waves''' at some point earlier in the story, which causes meteors to fly towards him from orbit and burn up before making contact, blowing chunks out of anything or anyone that happens to be in the way. This ability, the effects of Survivor and Westwood's training make this fight brutal for Jolyne, to the point where '''''TEARING WESTWOOD'S FUCKING TOENAIL OFF''''' isn't enough to stop him. Aside from making you question Japan's standards for kids' entertainment, the fight ends with Jolyne hitting the prison guard with the force of his own meteors by wrapping his boot around one of the meteors, causing it to continue flying even after the meteor burns away. The fight leaves Jolyne critically injured, which becomes a problem when the next stand user shows up right away.

*'''Kenzo''': A sprightly 78-year-old man and ex-cult leader who lost his power and reputation after surviving a mass suicide. (Though he doesn't exactly make a good job maintaining it when he proudly promotes urine therapy.) He then spent the majority of his prison life perfecting the art of Feng Shui assassination, [[Derp|a one-time concept which takes half of the fight being explained.]] The other half has Foo Fighters perform all kinds of acrobatic shit against Kenzo, who uses his stand '''Dragon's Dream''' like a compass to pinpoint the lucky and unlucky directions of Feng Shui in order to trigger a coincidental series of events that lead up to gruesome accidents, similar to Final Destination. F.F manages to barely survive thanks to their inhuman composition and the fact that Dragon's Dream is a neutral stand that helps F.F and even back sasses Kenzo until he misinterprets his lucky direction and gets fried by an electric chair. Kenzo ''[[wat|somehow survives this]]'' (Maybe that urine therapy actually works?) and makes a desperate dash towards Jolyne. Before he can successfully pull off his assassination, however, Anasui intervenes and uses Diver Down to obliterate his legs and reform them into springs, causing him to bounce helplessly out of commission. A good time for a reminder that Anasui's supposed to be one of the good guys.

*'''D an' G''': Technically the penultimate boss of the Maximum Security Ward arc before Pucci, though we see more of his automatic stand '''Yo-Yo Ma''' than we actually see him. After seemingly being built up as this smart, calculating badass, he ends up as the victim of Anasui's ribcage trap and starts blubbering like a baby over his now-shredded arm (AKA having one of the only normal reactions to injury in this goddamn series). He spends the rest of his screentime being taken into intensive care while his stand attempts to discreetly assassinate Jolyne and Anasui while [[JUST AS PLANNED|feigning sycophantic servitude.]] This almost works as Anasui is too busy trying to get a kissy from Jolyne, but he is eventually incapacitated by his brain getting rewired into a frog's, and dies for good once F.F [[BLAM]]s his user, whose last thoughts were probably "DanG."

*'''The Green Baby''': A homunculus created from the clusterfuck of violence that went down in the security ward. It doesn't directly attack Jolyne and Anasui due to being an actual baby, but its automatic stand '''Green, Green Grass Of Home''' poses more than enough trouble to the duo due to its ability to shrink anyone moving towards the grassy gremlin until they grow microscopic. Fortunately, the effect is nullified by anything the cabbage child touches or finds interest in, which Anasui exploits by knocking a bottle that they're in towards it. It's unknown whether the baby would've been a Jobro or become a leafier Dio, as Pucci recites the holy words to have the baby [[Flesh Tearers|gobble up his arm]] (To which he is ecstatic, of course) and merge with him to create '''C-Moon.'''

*'''Miuccia "Miumiu" Miuller''': Like Viviano above, not actually an inmate but Green Dolphin's head of security. She's tasked by Pucci with preventing the inmates from escaping, a job that must account for the fact that several of the prisoners are dangerous Stand users. So her Stand, '''Jail House Lock''', prevents those affected from remembering more than three new pieces of information at a time or focusing on more than three tasks, erasing the first memory every time they try to remember a fourth. As you might have already guessed, that is a huge pain to deal with. Furthermore, the longer those affected keep looping, the more it erodes their capability to remember what they're trying to do until they give up completely. She also pretends to be an inmate to mess with her targets and taunt them. Jolyne eventually manages to beat her with Emporio's help, and the gang escapes Green Dolphin afterwards to pursue Pucci.

=====Dio's Bastards=====
Note that this is actually meant literally. They're bastards too, though.

'''Ungalo''': An hedonistic, flat-faced loser who inherited Dio's cruelty and hatred of the world. His stand is '''Bohemian Rhapsody''', a phenomenon that causes copyright-friendly (but not visually friendly) versions of fictional characters who live out their stories in the real world. Given the types of stories that exist, this is already [[Warhammer 40k|bad]]. [[FATAL|VERY]], [[Xeelee Sequence|VERY]] [[Chris-Chan|BAD]]. But it gets worse when someone interacts with these characters, as it forces them to play the role of the character they most relate to, including the events leading up to their death. This effect can even include historical figures, as Weather was attacked by Vincent Van Gogh and nearly died like he did. Weather eventually manages to counter this ability by creating '''Put-Back''' his own [[Mary Sue|overpowered OC]], who sucks up all the fictional characters roaming around, causing the effect to disappear alongside Ungalo's [[Star Wars|will to live.]]

'''<U style="font-size:14pt">IT CANNOT BE OVERSTATED HOW TERRIFYING THIS ABILITY IS. IMAGINE IF CHRIS-CHAN ESCAPES FROM PRISON AND ACTUALLY MAKES THE DIMENSIONAL MERGE HAPPEN.</U>'''

Seriously, its range and effect was GLOBAL. In the short time he used it, Ungalo probably killed more people than every other Stand user in the series combined (not including when the world was cosmically retconned, of course).

'''Rikiel:''' A MAN WEARING A DEAD ANIMAL. Initially a meek child, he took a level in badass after receiving the stand '''Sky High''', which looks like a cheap and shitty children's toy but grants Rikiel the ability to control cryptids known as '''rods''' that feed off body heat. This causes all kinds of lovely things to happen to Jolyne, Emporio and Hermes, including forcing eyelids to close, controlling muscle movement by taking away heat, and pissing blood. Inherited Dio's resolve and determination, and probably the closest equivalent to Giorno, though his stand is ironically the only one out of Dio's children not tied to fate.

'''Donatello Versus:''' Not a ninja turtle, but a literal (and figurative) dickhead who inherited Dio's ruthlessness and tendency to be an asshole. '''Under World''' is the name of his stand, and allows him to recreate memories of people, minerals and events that happened in Florida by digging them up from the ground. If someone gets caught in the event being replayed, they are forced to experience everything that occurred within the memory, including the impact from a plane crash. As previously mentioned, he's not exactly a pleasant fellow, as he repeatedly tells Pucci to "shut the fuck up" in response to advice that he perceives as backseat gaming, and later returns Weather Report's memory disk to him, endangering the entire planet and indirectly killing Weather [[That Guy|just for a chance to obtain heaven for himself.]] After escaping an initial defeat, Donatello searches for Jotaro's memory disc and discovers it on Emporio's person after [[/d/|taking off his clothes and making some seriously concerning faces.]] He ultimately dies unceremoniously when Pucci disguises him as himself with Whitesnake in order to cover his escape.
He's named after both Gianni Versace's daughter Donatella and one of his brand's diffusion lines, Versus.

====Part 7: Steel Ball Run Villains====
=====Funny Valentine=====
The fucking president of the United States! No, seriously, he's the 23rd President of the United States, a veteran of the Civil War with the fucking Stars and Stripes as scars on his back, and the real mastermind of the Steel Ball Run. His goal of the race? To recover the Corpse of Jesus Christ and use it to lead America to a new age of lasting prosperity. And that's why you don't fuck with this President!

Oh, and his Stand, "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" (D4C), which allows him to essentially jump between parallel universes. While anything else he brings will be destroyed the moment it comes into contact with its dimensional equal (meaning that he can find someone, drag him into another dimension, and collide him into his dimensional equivalent and kill them both), he is utterly immune to it and is able to replace himself by having his Stand transfer between Valentines. The issue, though, is that it is anchored to one universe: The universe where the Corpse originates from. Eventually, he does recover the Corpse, and at this point, he develops "Love Train", a secondary effect to "D4C" which sheaths him in a field of parallel dimensions. Anything that tries to hit him that passes through the field gets deflected and redirected elsewhere, allowing only good fortune near him. The issue is that it he has to leave this sheath in order to attack. Like Devo, D4C was a victim of copyright law, and in his video game appearances the subs are ''very careful'' to never refer to D4C by its full name. The writers still managed to make this as hilariously stupid as the rest of the series, though; Valentine's signature move in All Star Battle is renamed [[Derp|"Filthy Acts Performed at Fair and Reasonable Prices."]]

=====Diego Brando=====
[[File: Diego Brando.png|right|thumb|200px|Can you take a guess of what character he's based off of?]]
Essentially the SBR version of Dio Brando from the original series. Though he is [[Tzeentch|calculating and callous]] like the original, he is much more considerate with his actions, not killing innocents left and right. However, he won't hesitate to absolutely destroy anyone who gets in his way. His backstory differs in that his father left him behind and he was raised by his mother longer than Dio's (though it was only until he was six). As the original rejected his humanity because it made him weak, Diego takes a different spin on it and [[derp|blames humanity as a whole for his misfortunes]]. He participates in the Steel Ball Run race against Johnny and Gyro, wanting the fatass cash prize at the end for himself.

His Stand, "Scary Monsters", has, arguably, the [[Jokaero|stupidest]] yet [[Trazyn the Infinite|most hilariously awesome]] power in Steel Ball Run and maybe JoJo as a whole. Scary Monsters allows Diego to transform into a blue-green raptor and attack his enemies. For whatever reason as a raptor he has "DIO" plastered over and over again all over his body. If he wishes Diego can simply change his body to have sharp teeth or claws. He can also infect people through bites and scratches and turn them into raptors that are under his control. Essentially he is a [[awesome|wereraptor]], which is awesome in every sense of the word. This even extends to his horse, which he turned into a colossal raptor than can climb up walls. After being upped by Johnny and Gyro on several occasions, he teams up with Funny Valentine in order to gain some revenge and to find some of the Corpse Parts. But in a [[meme|sudden but inevitable betrayal]], Diego makes a 180 and tries to kill Valentine. Naturally, this fails.

*'''Diego 2: Electric Boogaloo:''' At some point in the story Funny Valentine uses D4C to nab another Diego from another universe to help him. He's basically Part 3's Dio with a different name and appearance. He's also still human, which limits his ability to use The World to stop time.

=====Valentine's Assassins=====
Oddballs hired by Valentine to murder Johnny and Gyro, ranging from awful to awesome in writing and style.

*'''The Boomboom Family''' The Boom Boom Family was a family, who were hired as assassins to kill Gyro and Johnny. All three members share the stand ''Tomb of the Boom''. The stand is basicaly a copy paste of Mariah's bast, and it brings nothing new to the table.
Their arc is generaly considered the weakest of Part 7.

*'''Oye Como Va'''

*'''Porkpie Hat Kid'''

*'''Ferdinad'''

*'''Ringo Roadagain''' His stand is called ''Real Man's World'', which allows him to loop time in a small area, such as his house.

*'''Mr. Blackmore'''

*'''The Eleven Men'''

*'''Soundman''' The most unusual of the Steel Ball Run's competitors, as he's an American Indian who spent the entire trip ''on his bare feet. AND HE WAS KEEPING UP WITH THE REST.''

*'''Mike O.'''

*'''Wekapipo'''

*'''Magenta Magenta'''

*'''Axl Ro'''

*'''D.I.S.C.O.'''

====Part 8: JoJoLion Villains====
=====Rock Humans=====
Closeish to the the Pillar Men but without the apocalyptic potential to end the world. Unlike the Pillar Men, they are all Stand users, and oh boy are these ones fucking creepy, even by usual JoJo standards. Their life-cycle is the definition of [[What]]; they start as tiny babies, they latch onto wasps, live in the hive for 17 years, then emerge as fully-formed, normal looking rock humans. Apparently they were the backup plan in case carbon-based life forms failed, as they are composed of Silicon.

======The Rokakaka Smuggling Group======
The group that Joubin worked with, their main goal was to cash in with the Rokakaka's mysterious healing properties by selling it to those in need. Their main concern was keeping the fruit underground and out of sight.

*'''Youtsuyu Yagiyama '''
The architect that drew the new Higashikata mansion. He's the first rock human Josuke comes in contact with. He hates the Hisgashikatas and is envious of their wealth and influence.

His stand is named '''I am a Rock''', and its' gimmick is that it draws objects towards you after Youtsuyu has touched you. This sounds like fun and games, but the objects don't stop once they've reached you, they continue through your skin and flesh, if you let them. The stand is a short ranged one, so Yotsuyu has to be close to the target for his stand to work, and he can attract only one type of object at a time, like flowerpots, rocks and etc.

For some reason he likes to compare him fighting Gappy to chess. Gappy then proceeded to drown him by trapping Yotsuyu in fishnets.

*'''Aishou Dainenjiyama'''
The active dealer of the group, worked as a security guard at the local baseball stadium during the day. Aishou was an extremely paranoid person, due to the trauma caused by his ex-girlfriend cheating on him. His stand was '''Doobie-wah''', which was a long range automatic stand, that locks on to a person's breathing.

The stand then manifests as a twister, and starts chasing the target until it stops breathing.
Oh, and it's size and strength is dependent on the targets breathing, as it grows in size when breathing becomes more erratic and faster, and vice versa. So the only way to defeat it is to either stop breathing or kill the user.

He gets run over by a bus, which is at the same time hilarious and anticlimactic.

*'''Aphex Twins'''
These guys acted as the tough guys of the group, as they would go and rustle up anyone who rubbed the group the wrong way. The younger twin was obsessed with tribelling with his ball, which is actually a bag where he keeps his stand. The elder twin in turn was the brain of the duo, coming up with strategies for encounters.

Their stands were named '''Schott Key no.1''' and '''Schott Key no.2'''. No.1 could transfer stuff from the users right hand to the left, it scraped away things like The Hand, and then shot them forth from the users left hand. No.2 was a small poison-gas emitting stand, the gas could corrode flesh when touched. It was also the one that hid in the ball-shaped bag.

They get their asses handed to themselves by Gappy and Karera.

*'''Tamaki Damo'''
This man was one of the most awesome rock humans ever introduced into the story. During his appearance he did not only kill off Kira Yoshikage, but also infiltrate the Higashikata household by dating(and banging) Hato and then turn everyone inside the house into silicone-like goop. He got his design and demeanour from "the American Hustle's" protagonist Irwing, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIp6DdirlsQ even sharing the goofy receding-hairline joke]

Damo's stand was '''Vitamin C''', which looked like an octopus jester. It could spread wet fingerprints everywhere where it touched, and those that touched the fingerprints would slowly turn into a silicone-like state. In that state they would have trouble moving, and were extremely soft, so Damo could cut limbs off by using a 1000-Yen bill.

He was killed off in brutal fashion, with Gappy crushing his skull with Soft & Wet.

======The TG University Doctors======
A small clique of rock humans commanding the smuggling group, all with jobs as doctors of the University's hospital. They seek to improve their Rokakaka based medicine with the new Rokakaka so they can sell them to gain steadily more wealth and power until they can rise above humanity.

*'''Urban Guerilla''':
*'''Poor Tom''':
*'''Wu Tomoki'''
*'''Tooru/The Head Doctor''': the main Villain of the part, he is unique in that his stand, '''Wonder of U''', has its own identity, that being Satoru Afeku, the Head Doctor. His Stand ability is pretty broken; anyone that tries to pursue his Stand is met with calamity, meaning that if you so much as think about following the Head Doctor then shit will go down. This meant that to beat him, you have to let him come to you.

==Terms and Stuff You Need to Know==
===Ripple===
The Ripple, or "Hamon", as it's sometimes translated as, was a power introduced in Phantom Blood and used up until early Stardust Crusaders. Created by monks in fuckknowswhere-istan, this martial art(?) was created to specifically destroy undead zombies and vampires. The user, quite literally, harnesses the power of the sun via breathing. This can let the user empower their attacks and attain superhuman feats, including walking on water, or climbing slippery surfaces using only their fingertips. And for dramatic effect, the Ripple can transfer to metal and organic materials via a process called "Sendo", making it unstable and acting like a weapon in of itself. Used creatively, ripple-infused weapons can include projectile bubbles, hair, bolos, etc. The last person to uses this was Joseph, who stops training in it after Part 2, and only uses it a couple times in Part 3. When he returns in Part 4, he's such an old man that he's incapable of even that (though to be fair, this was his choice. The Ripple could extend a person's natural lifespan considerably, but one guy still feared growing old, became a vampire, and then died because sunlight. Joseph opts not to do this.) Ripple is also a lot more situational than Stands, especially since Stands can pretty much say fuck you to reality itself.

*'''Spin''': The Spin is basically a new version of the Ripple introduced in Part 7. We're not joking when we say it's almost exactly like Hamon except it's far more flashy and when it comes into contact with objects it makes them spin rapidly(duh) by achieving the perfect rotational ratio of the Golden Rectangle (A rectangle that can break into a perfect square and a smaller rectangle with which to repeat this process, potentially ad infinitem). Gyro Zeppili is the most effective with the Spin, using it to charge and launch steel balls at his enemies, though Johnny eventually manages to pull it off using his nails (and Tusk) to create localised fucking multi-dimensional blackholes. Suddenly Johnny's stand power isn't so lame.

===Stands===
[[File:Star Platinum Stand.png|thumb|right|200px|Jotaro's Stand "Star Platinum"]]
Stands are... weird to say the least. Getting their start in Stardust Crusaders, they are literal spiritual manifestations on a user's willpower and strength. The capabilities of Stands can vary absurdly, among the known powers are: stopping time, shooting out crystal projectiles, tossing marbles that are practically mini virus bombs, and punches so powerful they can break diamond. There are some stands that aren't combat oriented, such as spiritual photography, enhanced healing, or reading people's memories, but generally most are. A big part of JoJo (past part 2 and its subsequent influence on anime in general) is that a Stand's ability is often used in unexpectedly creative ways in order to win. For example, Star Platinum is initially assumed to just be capable of incredible strength and fast punches with incredible precision. Whilst it's useful as a fighting beatstick, it also gets used as a microscope, sketch artist, and even a vacuum cleaner for a gas based opposing stand (not counting eventually being able to stop time).
The situation is complicated further by the fact that virtually anyone can be a Stand user, so ambushes by enemies are frequent. The first few were introduced were based of the tarot cards (Star Platinum, Magician's Red, etc), but from mid-Part 3 and onward they were named after Egyptian Gods, famous rock musicians and songs. Rolling Stones, Purple Haze, and ''fucking Metallica'' are Stands. This made later incarnations of Jojo to be an absolute copyright hell to deal with, since literally every Stand and maybe character can be traced to a band, person, or song. Many names had to be either adjusted or changed completely in localizations.

They also don't have much of a fixed way of manifesting either, with some people being born knowing how to use them (Avdol, Kakyoin), while the Joestars only developed it with DIO receiving his, while others still had to get stabbed with magical arrows made from a meteorite or ending up in a weird mystic area and touching mummified body parts. It is clear that if one person in a family obtains a Stand, their living descendants will then gain their own Stands with descendants who are born later having at least the potential to develop a Stand (e.g. DIO and the Joestars). In some rare cases, sheer willpower is capable of manifesting a Stand (e.g. Tonio Trussardi).

While having a Stand sounds like a pretty cool thing on paper, its not as great as it sounds due to the fact that Stand users are somehow drawn to each other (hence the unusually high number of Stand users in Morioh despite being a pretty small town) and a lot of people who develop Stands aren't exactly of the benevolent sort.

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">
While there are an array of inconsistencies with Stands, JoJo was nice enough to give this list of the rules for Stands.
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
*A Stand protects its user, like a guardian. The name comes from "standing by" the user, sometimes using their powers without direct orders in order to protect the user, and by extension, themselves.
**Automatic Stands are those that are able to operate independently of their User, some can act without their User's knowledge or input and can be a detriment to the User if their abilities are also automatic (e.g. Black Sabbath, Superfly, Civil War). In some cases, the Stands think for themselves and can turn against their User if they see fit.
*A person can have only one Stand though their Stand may evolve (e.g. Echoes, Tusk).
*Not everyone is strong enough to acquire a stand, whether it's by the Golden Arrow or other means (e.g. Holly slowly dying from her own stand, Koichi slowly dying after being hit with a Golden Arrow).
*Conversely, any living thing is capable of acquiring a stand, from babies, to animals, to ''plankton'', to trees.
*Inanimate objects are also capable of possessing Stands though it is not clear if they are retained from a living user or manifested by themselves.
*Stands can be inherited. In a rare cases even shared between multiple living biological relatives.
*A Stand is part of its user, and damage is usually reflected between the two. Usually, if a Stand's leg is cut off, its user will lose their leg as well. Certain aspects of some Stands, such as the armor of "Silver Chariot" or "The Fool", are immune to this effect. If the Stand is not exactly humanoid, they may reflect damage to their user's body relative to the area of the Stand that was damaged (e.g. High Priestess, Geb), or are an exception. Additionally, if a Stand can be bound or trapped in some way the User will likewise be unable to move
**Some Stands are completely invulnerable or impervious so only damage to their User will affect or otherwise destroy them.
*Stands may only be seen by Stand users;although there are exceptions including Stands bound to physical objects or are just corporeal for the sake of their abilities(e.g. Strength; attached once to a boat, Thoth; a physical comic that could change, Yellow Temperance; a blob of flesh that can form itself into disguises, Cheap Trick).
*A Stand can only be directly damaged by another Stand or objects affected by thier abilities. A Stand user, however, can still be attacked directly by a stand or conventional attacks.
*A Stand's energy or power is inversely proportional to their operating range. The further a Stand is from its user, the weaker it becomes – Long-range Stands and/or Stands' long-range abilities are simpler in mechanism. Two exceptions are Hanged Man, which travels from mirror to mirror, and Red Hot Chili Pepper, an electricity-based stand that can travel anywhere that has power lines or aboard anything with a battery.
**Automatic Stands tend to be exceptions to this rule, as some operate without the User's direct input or direction.
*When a Stand User dies, their Stand disappears with them unless the ability is activated by their death, retains their soul, or is completely retained within an object(e.g., Notorious B.I.G., Atom Heart Father, Cheap Trick, Limp Bizkit, Anubis).
*When a Stand is destroyed or dealt enough damage, their user is either knocked unconscious or killed, depending on the level of injury.
**In a number of cases, Automatic Stands are exceptions (e.g. Judgement, Superfly, Surface).
*Stands allow people to see ghosts (since Stands themselves are spiritual phenomena), a fact that becomes important to the plot of Part 4.
</div>
</div>
*'''Stand Arrow''': Once, about 50,000 years ago, a meteorite crashed in Greenland. Some time in the 70's, an exploration team was sent to bring it in, but suddenly killed each other or died of illness. It was discovered that they were infected by alien virus in the rocks. Some of these rocks were taken by a man centuries before who wishes for the power of gods and fashioned into a set of arrows. These arrows tend to kickstart the process of developing a stand by cutting or piercing someone, but the spiritual strain of the process could prove to be fatal to some. And if you get hit by one while owning a stand? Well, surviving tends to grant you an incredible new power, usually called a Requiem. It's known that about five of these exist: One was given to Enya Geil (an old lady serving Dio), and another found its way to Kira. Yet another was found by Polnareff, which is then handed over to Giorno. The rest are owned by Diavolo.

*'''Corpse Parts''': Okay... [[wat]]. If you thought all the aforementioned stuff above was strange, you're in for a real treat. So get this; in Steel Ball Run, a major driving part of the plot is that both the heroes and villains are searching for the body parts of what they believe to be the shriveled corpse of some long-dead Saint. Why they want them is that if they ''absorb'' the body part into themselves, they get a Stand and various other benefits, making them the JoJolion version of the Golden Arrow. Of course the various characters searching for it want it for various reasons, but those are the main benefits. Oh, by the way, it's later discovered that the Corpse Parts are actually the '''''body parts of Jesus Christ.''''' We ain't talking Communion or some shit; the literal, physical, holes-in-the-hands body of Jesus. Somehow his body made it to North America centuries ago and an earthquake split it into nine separate pieces and spread it throughout the U.S.
:It gets even more bizarre when you remember that Joshua ben Joseph was Jesus' given name, which means that his name abbreviates into JoJo.

===Stone Masks===
These grotesque, fanged stone masks only appear in the first and second parts, but are vitally important to the story as a whole. Initially believed to come from the Aztecs, they are actually creations of the Pillar Men; intended to allow for the Pillar Men to overcome their weaknesses and become true gods. When placed on the face and smeared with blood, they drive spikes into a wearer's brain, transforming them into a vampire. Dio Brando became a vampire through the power of one of these masks.
However, when powered with the Red Stone of Aja, a gem that can amplify the powers of the sun, not only rendered Pillar Men such as Kars immune to sunlight and Ripple, but also gains the ability to shapeshift into whatever he wants, such as gaining wings or turning feathers into fucking piranhas.
*'''Vampires''': Human beings transformed by the Stone Masks who for the most part are same the average depiction of the bloodsuckers, though there are some notable differences. While they do have fangs, they are able to and more commonly drink blood through their fingers which is likely much more effective. Their abilities include super strength, enthralling victims, zombification, regeneration and slowed or reversed aging through absorbing blood. Vampires are also capable of raising the dead by dripping their blood onto the corpses, those revived by this gain super strength along with vampiric abilities. As with normal vampires, they are completely destroyed by sunlight and are additionally weak to the Ripple and the same goes for their undead minions.
[[File:Duwang in color.png|470px|right|]]

===Duwang===
If you're wondering why some people keep referencing "Duwang" or "ABAJ", it is a reference to an extremely poorly translated version of JoJo part 4, infamously known as [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6S2Tj-3nmw the "Duwang" translation]. The translation was a group of Chinese students final project for his English class - "Duwang" is a Chinese reading of the Kanji that make up the name "Morioh." Due to the poor quality of the translation, the students in fact failed the subject. Despite this, for the longest time it was the only available English translation, leaving a lasting impact on JoJo fans with Josuke & Co. being colloquially known as the "Duwang Gang". The Engrish phrases used are so unintentionally hilarious that the dialogue was eventually ported over into fansubs for the anime version, and before that they were continuously referenced in more quality translations.

===Araki Forgot===
given how batshit and hard to read some scenes are, plus context clues dead on the internet, fans remember Araki for being extremely forgetful as he often seems to forget key details in his writing, and one will often see characters not use their established abilities even though the situation is perfect for them (though often a miss understanding of the characters, the situation, or the powers themselves). Most notable example of this is Jotaros Star Finger, which gets used maybe three times in the entire series despite its effectiveness (at least its almost always a part of his arsenal in vidya, though he only used it twice in the series were both times was when his arms were restained and were never confirmed they were more effective, but man we wished he used it more). There are several examples like that and the anime adaptation generally remains so faithful to the source material that it generally does not make attempts to fix these (perceived) issues. As there is often plainly spelled reason for why a certain ability was not used when fans think it should be used that way, fans have a tendency to just say Araki Forgot as that is generally what really happened.

Given so many moving parts and esoterical powers, sometime [[skub|Araki Forgot is just a synonym "that what I would have done"]]
*[[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwhq07t0WOPaoyf_N8hzdz66hsHRmwY8-|Debunking Araki Forgot]] a series that helps even veteran jojo fans remember often obscure and misremembered plot points lost after hundreds of chapters.

===Fate===
A continuous recurring motif and driving force in each part is an observable force in the stories, with its mechanics being fleshed out with each entry. Also called ''gravity'' and ''is'' synonymous with that fundamental force. Gravity is not dictated by a higher sentient power. Still, it has a natural ''flow''. It has a preference for particular outcomes, favoring the side of justice to win in the end, or the repeating of tropes like the Zeppeli companion will always die to give a Jostar thier final powerboost. Like predictable cosmic laws, it can be read and benefited from, with fortune reading, feng shui, or a good business running sense letting you read the flow of fate, and the corpses of saints/sinners will attract blessings/curses. Relating to the chain of Causality, A person can't really change thier fate; few only have the high insight to realize they have one, and a rarer few have experienced "''heaven''," glimpsing past the illusion of free will. Unless, like a powerful current, they interact with a stronger force of ''gravity'', overriding a predetermined outcome. You only can change fate if your fated to change it. Like a more subtle grim reaper from Final Destination (one of araki's favorite movies), If something is predicted with certainty, circumstances will contrive to make it happen and continue to make it happen until it lands if you somehow have enough cleverness and ''luck'' to keep on dodging it. If you are lucky, it's caused by an enemy Stand and will turn off when you ''retire'' them. Otherwise, it would be best to hold off on this inevitability long enough until it resolves as something beneficial. Unfortunately for the main cast, predictions thought no longer in effect will jump out of the bushes and kill them in the final act (spoilers).

==JoJo Media==
*'''Manga''': Obviously, if you want JoJo in its original, true form, you can find yourself some copies or just read it online (most Parts aren't physically available in English). JOJONIUM is a series of updated re-releases of Parts 1-3 that includes additional new artwork and commentary from Araki and is available in English. There are also spin-offs (including those not made by Araki) and artbooks.

*'''Novels''': [[Black Library|Spin-off novels of dubious canonicity and varying qualities]] that can get even more ''bizarre'' than the manga series.

*'''1993 OVA''': An OVA for Stardust Crusaders that came out in 1993 simply titled "Jojo's Bizarre Adventure", which started with the Crusaders already in Egypt. In 2000, more episodes were released which detailed the beginning of Part 3 and the eventual departure from Japan. It re-imagines Stardust Crusaders to be more gritty than the manga with added gore and violence along with scenes being completely altered. The OVA skips more than half of Part 3, as it only includes the fights with Kakyoin, Polnareff, Forever, Hol Horse & J. Geil, Enya, N'Doul, D'Arby, Vanilla Ice and DIO with all but three of these receiving major changes. The fights with N'Doul and D'Arby are faithfully recreated; additionally, the final battle against DIO is notably altered and extended as the fight is far more destructive with scenes such as DIO knocking Jotaro through a bus and throwing a fishing boat at him. This is also the source of the trend of replacing "The World" with "ZA WARUDO" due to DIO's voice-actor's excited exclamation whenever he announces The World's time-stop. Regardless of the all the changes, the OVA is worth watching for its great animation and the fact that it was the only animated JoJo adaptation for almost 20 years. Being the first JoJo media with English voice-acting, one may find extra enjoyment in the frankly ''bizarre'' [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4eAKOY4wdY English dub].
**Don't expect to find this on any streaming service, as it was pulled from shelves years ago after it was found out that DIO was reading the Quran in one scene. Blame early-to-mid-2000's Islamaphobia.

*''' 2007 Movie''': Animated adaptation of Phantom Blood by the same studio that made the 1993 OVA, unavailable as it hasn't been released in any form to the public since its theater showing, though first 15 minutes and several trailers can be found on YouTube. Judging from them, film is a hell of mess that tries to stuff 44 chapters each at least 20 pages long into an hour and a half movie.

*'''TV Series''': The TV anime by David Production that started in 2012, which is responsible for the current Jojo resurgence of popularity. The anime is noted for its stellar music and voice performances that are [[meme|perpetually referenced]] by fans to the point of making the series even more popular. It has near obsessive capturing of moments as they tend to recreate even the smallest scenes and barely edits the iconic poses JoJo is known for. Cover Pages, musical inspirations, and previous and later works by Araki are referenced as bonuses to long-time fans and to add extra flair. Unlike the 1993 OVA, it displays the colorful and ''bizarre'' nature of JoJo to its fullest with very few discrepancies, giving the series the adaptation it deserves.

*''' 2017 OVAs''': 4 episode adaptation of the Rohan starring spin-off made by David Production. Pretty much has the same pros and cons as the anime series.

*''' 2017 Movie''': Live-action adaptation of Diamond Is Unbreakable, which notably alters the story to fit it into one movie and shift the focus from overall JoJo plot to a Josuke one. Overall not bad, though effects aren't that great.

*''' 2020 Series''': 6 episodes live-action adaptation of Rohan starring spin-offs and novels. They follow the footsteps of the movie in quite altering the plot of the stories to make them less dependent on the overall JoJo lore.

*'''JoJo's Venture/JJBA: Heritage for the Future''': Originally an arcade fighting game, it was subsequently re-released for the Dreamcast and PS1 in 1998. This was pretty much the first contact many Westerners had with JoJo. Based on Part 3 and plays a lot like Street Fighter because it was made by Capcom, who at the time were also working on Street Fighter 3. The game was available on the PSN and Xbox markets in the form of an HD release which lacked a good amount of content (such as Super Story Mode) and is no longer available.

*'''PS2 Vidyas''': There are two other Vidya made around 2005, one detailing the events of Part 1 (Which was supposed to tie into the movie that never released), it's a level-based brawler that's kind of clunky. The other game (Golden Whirlwind) details Part 5 and is a lot more polished, though it ironically came out years before the Phantom Blood game. It skips a number of fights and is more of a fighting game in the fact that you mainly fight one-on-one, so scenes are recreated more faithfully with the fights that were skipped being available in extras as voiced comics. Golden Whirlwind contains nod to Heritage for the Future as they both developed by Capcom.

*'''All-Star Battle''': Another JoJo fighting vidya from 2013, but this time pulls characters from all eight arcs. Nothing really notable except that it's the most ''absolutely fucking fabulous'' game ever. For the international release, they managed to get very clever with avoiding copyright on the names of various characters , Stands, and attacks (e.g. Polnareff is Eiffel, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap is "Filthy Acts at a Reasonable Price", Vanilla Ice is Cool Ice and so on). To top it all off a number of characters have musical references in their theme songs some more clear than others; to name obvious, a bit of Back in Black in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv_qe5oQoPo Esidisi's theme] and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyVUX1tkY0M Kira] has Queen all over and even more in his [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2K1E6wx_Sc EoH Theme].
**Was re-released in 2022 as '''All-Star Battle R''', introducing even more characters from various parts (most lifted from EoH) since we've now since seen not only anime adaptations for everything up to Stone Ocean come out but also the completion of Jojolion where the original released when Jojolion just started.

*'''Eyes of Heaven''': ''Another'' JoJo vidya, this time an arena fighting game with a few more characters that weren't in All-Star Battle. Notable for its absolutely hilarious story mode involving time-travel and the other JoJo's meeting each other. The essential cause of this was Funny Valentine's dimension hopping had him to run into a version of DIO who can will whatever he wants into reality using his Stand, '''The World Over Heaven''', and now he wants the Corpse Parts to become even more powerful and defeat the Joestars permanently. The ending basically rewrites part 3 and onward to be a bit less [[grimdark]], in that Jotaro's entire party survives at the end, while Jotaro becomes a better father to Jolyne as he brings her with him at start of part 4. [[Dawww]].

[[Category: Weeaboo]][[Category: Under Development]] [[Category: Approved Media]]

Al-Qadim

2026-05-27T14:13:54Z

45.80.158.249:

{{oldschool}}
[[Image:AQlogo.gif|center]]
'''Al-Qadim''' is an Arabian‑inspired campaign setting for [[Dungeons & Dragons]], drawing on The Thousand and One Nights. Much like '''[[Kara-Tur]]''' and '''[[Maztica]]''', it was presented as a distant continent on the world of Toril, the homeworld of the [[Forgotten Realms]] Setting. These "mini-settings," as they were, were conceived of as small projects that would allow TSR and GMs to explore alternate campaign settings without overhauling core rules. Al-Qadim was unusual in that the name did not refer to the continent itself, as it did for the other modules, but to the culture that lived on the continent of Zakhara.

==The Land==
Zakhara is a harsh, tropical continent that lies south of Faerun and southwest of Kara-tur, a land of rugged extremes, girded on all sides by sea.
<gallery>
Zakhara Map.jpeg
The forgotten realms by markustay db2v3ho-350t.jpeg|Zakhara in relationship to Faerûn
Zakhara-Geographical-Regions.png|Zakhara divided by Regions
Zakhara-Cultural-Regions.png|Map divided by Cultural
</gallery>

==Culture==
Zakharan culture is heavily inspired by medieval Arabian societies mixed with fictionalized religious and social elements; law is largely secular and the setting is polytheistic, women need not dress quite as modestly, etc.

The biggest split in culture in Zakhara is the divide between the Al-Hadhar, the city-dwellers, and the nomadic Al-Badia. Yet they share roughly the same social stations, cultural norms, beliefs, religions and traditions.

Zakharan culture is broadly shared across races and emphasizes a set of social precepts that shape daily life:

*'''Honor:''' Personal and familial reputation guides moral behavior.
*'''Family:''' Kinship takes priority; family rights often supersede individual desires.
*'''Purity:''' One of the more overtly Islam-inspired aspects of Zakharan culture is the indigent belief that men and women are inherently weak where matters of the heart are concerned. Chastity, at least in the sense of avoiding overt demonstrations of carnal desire, is upheld as a matter of great spiritual and social importance. It's expected that women will generally avoid overt displays of desire, and whilst both sexes will veil and cover themselves to avoid enflaming lust, the onus is generally on the part of women.
*'''Hospitality:''' Generosity is a key marker of honor; hosts and guests observe reciprocal responsibilities.
*'''Tolerance:''' Cultural pluralism is encouraged within limits of Zakharan norms.
*'''Piety:''' Belief in higher powers underpins moral order; overt atheism is socially suspect.

===Fate, Enlightenment and the Loregiver===
One element of Zakharan culture, oft-mentioned yet little defined, is that of Enlightenment - the Zakharans consider themselves "Enlightened", and all non-Zakharans to be "Unenlightened". So, of course, you're wondering just what the hell is up with that.

Even in the time when Al-Qadim was written, it was considered to be too on the nose to directly refer to certain key Islamic concepts. Instead, Al-Qadim has the Loregiver, a female prophet who, instructed by Fate, wrote the Scroll of Law - a holy text that contains precepts and instructions on how to be an honorable man so clear-cut and obvious that they became the foundation of Zakhara's modern culture. Most notably, the Grand Caliph, the ruler of all Zakhara, holds that position because they supposedly claim descent from the first caliph to find the Scroll of Law and bring the teachings of enlightenment to the people.

Who is Fate? The simplest way to describe it as as the Overpower of the Zakharan pantheon. Fate is viewed as an entity whose power lies outside that of the gods; a female entity who embodies the natural force that is a part of every man and woman's future. Whilst not to be worshipped like the gods, she aids those who succeed and may comfort those who fail, and the gods themselves defer to her.

===Religion===
The teachings of enlightenment may be the foundation of Zakharan culture, but they do so by attributing at least part of their holiness to the gods. Still, Zakhara is large and, under its veneer of cultural monolithism, it has many subcultures and cults, leading to a uniquely divided pantheon.

Zakharans divide the gods into three categories; Major (or Great), Local (or Common), and Savage (or Heathen).

'''Great/Major Deities''' are those directly referenced in the Scrolls of Law, and thusly their worship has spread across Zakhara. They number eight deities, and are all considered to embody specific ideals regarded as enlightened.
* [[Hajama]]
* [[Hakiyah]]
* [[Haku]]
* [[Jisan]]
* [[Kor]]
* [[Najm]]
* [[Selan]]
* [[Zann]]

'''Local/Common Deities''' are "small" gods of Zakhara; those whose worship is confined to a specific area or ethnicity. They are not as directly tied to the principles of enlightenment, and make up the larger part of the Zakharan "pantheon".
* [[Bala]]
* [[Kahin]]s
* [[Vataqatal]]

'''Savage/Heathen Deities''' are those not directly recognized in the teachings and tales passed down by the Loregiver. These include the Forgotten Gods of Nog and Kadar, the Cold Gods of the Elements ([[Akadi]], [[Grumbar]], [[Istishia]], [[Kossuth]]), the gods of unenlightened Zakharan cultures such as the Hill Tribes and the islanders of the Crowded Sea, and the Ajami (Foreign) Gods - the gods whose faith has been carried to Zakhara by migrants from other lands, predominantly [[Gond]], [[Helm]] (called "Helam" by confused Zakharans) and [[Clangeddin Silverbeard]] (whose diminishing worship amongst Zakharan gods has seen him renamed "Clang").

The unusual nature of the zakharan pantheon has led to two distinct faiths of note; the Temple of Ten Thousand Gods and the League of the Pantheon, or the Pantheist League.

The Ten Thousand Gods Temple takes the polytheistic inclinations of the Zakharans to the extreme; they worship ALL gods, interchangeably and commmunally. Their holy ideal is acceptance; their ethos is that all deities are merely facets of the same divine force. As such, their holy principles are simple:
:''The gods are aspects of a greater holy power. Men and women, elves, half-elves, dwarves, and other creatures - all these mortal beings mirror the diversity of that divine power. All are touched by the same holy radiance. Accept your brothers and sisters. Think well of them and treat them kindly, for they, like you, are divine.''

The Pantheist League is a comparatively small, but powerful, cult which has come to dominate a cluster of cities on the Crowded Sea and along the easten side of the Golden Gulf. They practice a combination of a very fundamentalist view of the common Zakharan faith and a their own unique pantheon; they recognize only the Greater Gods Hajama, Kor, Najm and Selan as "true" gods, alongside their own self-claimed "Greater" God, a local deity named [[Jauhar]]. Hidebound, moralist and dangerous conservative, their ethos preachs a combination of moral superiority and strength through unity:
::''Only by gathering together, and by combining the best talents of the group, can we succeed. Trust your foes to be jealous of your accomplishments. The gods of the Pantheon are the only true gods. All other so-called deities are common creations, and their followers must be "enlightened". Excessive actions may be excused by excessive circumstances.''

===Races===
Zakhara is unusually racially integrated for AD&D: humans, elves, dwarves, [[goblinoids]], and other traditionally antagonistic races coexist under shared Zakharan customs. Meaning that Zakhara works well when paired with [[The Complete Book of]] Humanoids.

Of course, this being an AD&D book, the splats present very little effort into telling you HOW the non-human members of Zakhara live or how to play them! Still, there are some useful things to glean.

The Land of Fate splatbook calls out [[orc]]s, [[kobold]]s, [[ogre]]s, [[hobgoblin]]s, [[lizardfolk]] and [[gnoll]]s as commonly found throughout Zakhara, with [[merfolk]] and [[locathah]] being similarly common in the port cities.

Likewise, the City of Delights splatbook describes the city of Huzuz hosting more unusual creatures, which are certainly justifiable as adding to the PC list: [[Half-Orc|half-orcs]], [[Half-Ogre|half-ogres]], [[Oni|ogre magi]],[[centaur]]s, [[minotaur]]s, [[wemic]]s, [[aarakocra]], and [[kenku]].

Said books also state that Zakhara is home to many civilized [[giant]]s, of which the most familiar are hill giants, stone giants, and [[troll]]s.

The City of Delights splatbook furthers this by giving rejiggered level limits and kit suggestions for the most common humanoid PC races, although you still need to pull their stats from the CBoH:
* [[Goblin]]: [[Fighter]] 10, [[Ranger]] 7, [[Thief]] 12, [[Cleric]] 9; askar, desert rider, mercenary barbarian; sa'luk, barber, beggar-thief, matrud; hakima, kahin, mystic
* [[Hobgoblin]]: [[Fighter]] 11, [[Ranger]] 5, [[Sha'ir]] 7, [[Thief]] 11, [[Cleric]] 9; askar, corsair, desert rider, faris, mamluk, mercenary barbarian; sha'ir; holy slayer; kahin, pragmatist
* [[Kobold]]: [[Fighter]] 8, [[Thief]] 12, [[Bard]] 6, [[Cleric]] 9; askar, desert rider, mercenary barbarian; sa'luk, beggar-thief, matrud, rawun; kahin, mystic, pragmatist
* [[Lizardfolk]]: [[Fighter]] 12, [[Sha'ir]] 5, [[Thief]] 11, [[Bard]] 9, [[Cleric]] 7 corsair, mamluk, mercenary barbarian; sha'ir; beggar-thief, holy slayer, merchant-rogue, rawun; mystic, pragmatist
* [[Ogre]]: [[Fighter]] 12, [[Sha'ir]] 5, [[Thief]] 10, [[Cleric]] 3; askar, mamluk, mercenary barbarian; sha'ir; sa'luk, matrud, merchant rogue; pragmatist, hakima, kahin
* [[Half-Ogre]]: [[Fighter]] 12, [[Sha'ir]] 7, [[Thief]] 10, [[Cleric]] 4; askar, faris, mamluk, mercenary barbarian; sha'ir; sa'luk, merchant-rogue; pragmatis, ethoist, kahin
* [[Orc]]: [[Fighter]] 10, [[Thief]] 11, [[Cleric]] 9; askar, desert rider, faris, mercenary barbarian; sa'luk, barber, matrud, merchant-rogue; pragmatist, ethoist
* [[Half-Orc]]: [[Fighter]] 10, [[Ranger]] 5, [[Sha'ir]] 5, [[Thief]] 11, [[Bard]] 6, [[Cleric]] 9; any Zakharan kit

===Magic===
Unlike [[Kara-tur]], which is a relatively low magic zone compared to Faerun, and definitely unlike poor [[Maztica]], which was practically a non magic zone, Al-Qadim has an extremly well developed tradition of arcane magic use, and easily compares to or even in some fields beats out the nations of Faerun. That said, the local [[magic]] traditions have developed... ''differently'' compared to the ones in Faerun, to the point that the [[Mage]] tradition is basically unknown here. Instead, all Al-Qadim [[wizard]]s are [[Specialist Wizard]]s from one of the local schools instead, which were shaped by the prevailing presence of [[genie]]s in the Land of Fate.

The most common and iconic of the local wizardly traditions is the [[Sha'ir]], a wizard who takes a baby [[genie]] as his or her [[familiar]] and uses them to "fetch" spells from the [[Elemental Plane]]s for them. The Sha'ir is so iconic to the setting that [[TSR]] even titled their Al-Qadim counterpart to the [[Complete Book Series|Complete Wizard's Handbook and Complete Book of Necromancers]] as "The Complete Sha'ir's Handbook".

The other major traditions of Al-Qadim are both based on [[Elementalism]]. Elemental Mages focus on a single element at a time, whilst Sorcerers are able to wield any combination of two of the four elemental schools; Sand, Flame, Water and Wind. The [[Dark Sun]] [[splatbook]] "Air, Earth, Water and Fire", which is devote to the Elemental Priests of Athas, might actually be worth checking out for AD&D DMs interested in homebrewing to make the Sorcerers more distinct from the Elemental Mages.

Other [[wizard]]s in the Land of Fate represent relatively minor schools and traditions, far weaker and less common than Sha'irs, elementalists and sorcerers. All of them are handled as [[kits]] found in the Complete Sha'ir's Handbook.

'''Astrologers''' combine magic study with astronomy, to the point they can "hang" spells from specific constellations, allowing them to cast such spells with greater speed and ease so long as the associated star constellation is visible to them.

'''Clockwork Mages''', also known as '''Mechanicians''', are proto-[[artificer]]s who can't cast spells proper, but instead can create [[clockpunk]] devices that can cast spells for them or serve as [[construct]] minions.

'''Digitologists''' combine magic and mathematics, reducing spells to arcane mathematical formulas that are slower to cast, but give the digitologist far greater control over the spell's variable attributes.

'''Ghul Lords''' are Al-Qadim's analogue to [[necromancer]]s, being elemental mages who draw their power from the [[Energy Planes|Negative Energy Plane]]. This gives them access to proto-spell-like abilities, but they are seriously screwed over by the drawbacks of their kit.

'''Jackals''' are a proto-[[Spellthief]], being wizards who can steal the spells right from the minds of other wizards.

'''Mageweavers''' are another proto-[[artificer]], who work magic by weaving enchantments into being, using silk- and cotton-weaving machines as their spellcasting focuses. They can't cast any spell higher than 6th level, but get more low level spells than some wizards.

'''Mystics of Nog''' can burn magical energy to temporarily boost their physical prowess, imbuing themselves with [[monk]]-like abilities.

'''Spellslayers''' are wizard-hunting [[assassin]]s who study magic to learn how to imbue themselves with supernatural powers to better fight their chosen targets. Basically, they trade all spellcasting powers for an increasing number of permanent buffs as they gain levels.

==Splatbooks==
As settings go, Al-Qadim got a fairly significant array of [[splatbook]]s. The core trinity (officially, core duo, but everybody considers ''City of Delights'' to be a third corebook) consist of ''Arabian Adventures'', ''Land of Fate'' and ''City of Delights'', whilst the rest expanded upon the setting in various ways.

''Arabian Adventures'' is supposed to present AL-Qadim as a general "theme", a way to build your own Arabian Nights-inspired D&D settings, in much the same way as the earlier [[Oriental Adventures]]. It's somewhat undercut because it opens with an examination of the Zakhara as a canon realm, covering in brief the land and its cultures. It also covers building characters, most notably how to adjust races to reflect the unique cultural aspects and prohibited characters, an assortment of new [[kits]], proficiencies and equipment, and new spells, and new setting-related rules, such as calling upon fate, the evil eye, survival in the desert, and how to handle armor vs. the intense tropical heat.

''Land of Fate'' acts as the campaign setting, exhaustively examining the different city states and expanding upon cultural aspects, including religion. it also features a bestiary with a number of uniquely Zakharan monsters.

''City of Delights'' fleshes out Huzuz, the capital city of Zakhara, home of its Grand Caliph. It expands upon the city's history and layout, talks about the character of its residents, expands upon daily life and culture, depicts notable figures, includes an examination of how to base a campaign out of Huzuz, and features a bestiary with a number of uniquely Zakharan monsters. This boxset is considered most useful for its aside on optional humanoid PCs, providing some slightly tweaked rules for playing [[goblinoid]], [[kobold]], [[lizardfolk]], [[orc]] and [[ogre]] (and their half-breed progeny) PCs. These rules are incomplete, still mandating access to [[The Complete Book of]] Humanoids for basic stats, but do expand their classes by comparison.

Naturally, Al-Qadim has its own Monstrous Compendium Appendix - which, ironically, actually doesn't feature any of the monsters that appeared in ''Land of Fate'' or ''City of Delight''.

''[[The Complete Book of|The Complete Sha'ir's Handbook]]'' is an expansion of rules, [[kits]] and other materials for Al-Qadim's native [[wizard]] variants.

''Secrets of the Lamp'' might as well be TSR's definitive [[genie]] lore sourcebook, taking the meager lore from early planar sourcebooks like the [[Manual of the Planes]] and expanding upon it in significant ways, such as naming the various genie rulers for literally the first time in D&D's history. Ironically, pretty much none of this lore would be reprinted in [[Planescape]].

==Publication history and legacy==
While some Al‑Qadim concepts (notably the Sha'ir) have been adapted into other D&D material, the setting was not extensively updated by the publisher for later editions. The [[Sha'ir]] received an update to 3e in [[Dragon Magazine]], and then appeared in Heroes of the Elemental Chaos for [[4e]]. Dragon 321 also had several prestige classes.

Fan products and conversions have kept interest alive. In 2021, the [https://www.dmsguild.com/product/341520/Campaign-Guide-Zakhara--Adventures-in-the-Land-of-Fate-AlQadim-and-Forgotten-Realms-Sourcebook 5E Conversion] was released on DMS Guild.

==External Links==
*[http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Zakhara Map of Zakhara]
*[http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Zakharan_pantheon Al-Qadim Pantheon]

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[[Category:Forgotten Realms]]