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Stormtrooper

2026-04-19T20:21:08Z

Archange1: Undo revision 1010253 by 109.70.100.13 (talk)

[[File:Stormtrooper1.jpg|right|300px|thumb|"I smoke Cohibas, you smoke cock."]]
{{Topquote|I don't care how many there are, FIGHT!|[[Scott McNeil|Kasrkin Sergeant McNeil, shortly before being overrun.]]}}

{{Topquote|Are we '''blind!?''' '''DEPLOY THE GARRISON!!!'''|Director Orson Krennic, [[Star Wars|''Rogue One'']]}}

'''Stormtroopers''' (''Sturmtruppen'') were specialist close assault raiders in the German army during World War I. It is also the English name of the ''Sturmabteilung'', the notorious paramilitary arm of the [[Nazi]] party, leading to the common misconception that the term "Stormtrooper" originates with Nazis when, as already said, WWI Germans used it first. Their Nazi / Imperial German connotations, plus a cool name that's historical and thus freely usable, means they show up a lot as fictional specialist units. The (somewhat misinformed) association with the Nazis makes fictional units bearing this name more likely to be part of less than benevolent governments with the good guy factions usually calling them Shock Troopers or some variant thereof. A sub-type of Godwin's Law is using the word "Stormtrooper" as an insult to describe someone perceived as an authoritarian doucebag, especially if they're authority figures.

All of this leads us to...

== Warhammer 40,000 ==
In [[Warhammer 40,000]], Stormtroopers (officially called '''Tempestus Scions''' [[ChapterHouse Studios|because trademarks]] and, ironically Guardsmen in German because... [[Nazi|reasons]]) are the elite of the [[Imperial Guard]] and the core of the [[Militarum Tempestus]]; [[Skub|they're the best general-combat infantry that the Imperial Guard can field, and are the toughest, best-equipped, and best-trained soldiers available to an Imperial commander that isn't a]] [[Space Marines|SPESS MEHREEN]]. While most of the Guard is armed with your typical [[Lasgun|angry flashlight]] and [[Flak Armor]] or Flak Vest, Stormtroopers normally pack [[Hotshot Lasgun]]s, which fire much more penetrating shots that are capable of piercing most infantry armor with ease, and they are clad in [[Carapace Armor]], which gives them substantially higher survivability on the battlefield (Cadian Kasrkin wear the more [[Awesome|Chad]] [[Kasrkin Armour|Kasrkin 'Cat' Armour]]).

In earlier editions of the game, they were favored as "[[Solar Auxilia Veletaris Storm Section|Light Marines]]" since they had fairly similar performance to Space Marines but cost considerably less due to their weaker gear. As of 6th edition, they became a dedicated elite choice, with all the pros and cons that implies. Unless you use their own mini-codex, of course. Then they become troops. In 8th edition, they became Troops even if you didn't.

There is a key difference between true Stormtroopers and many different types of regimental proxies/wannabies, the former originate from [[Schola Progenium]], the latter are simple top-notch regimental soldiers. There is also a line between Stormtroopers analogues and Grenadiers (or Heavy Infantry Regiments): [[Cadia]] for example fields Kasrkin, Armageddon fields Steel Legion Stormtroopers, [[Death Korps of Krieg]] field Grenadiers (all three of those are armed with [[Hellgun|hellguns]] instead of [[Hotshot Lasgun|hotshots]]), but the [[Harakoni Warhawks]] are grenadiers by Guard classification, armed with humble lasguns and not expected to meet Stormtroopers standards despite being clad in [[Carapace Armor]]. The [[Inquisition]] also fields their own branch called the "Inquisitorial Stormtroopers" who form the Inquisition's main offensive force and are basically the 5% of Schola Progenium Stormtroopers deemed pure, faithful and overall good enough to help your average Inquisitor meet the horrors that are part of his job head-on. Regardless of their appearance or gear, they're all incredibly potent if used correctly. Unfortunately, in terms of actual models, the only stormtroopers you can currently get (besides the Death Korps Grenadiers) are the Tempestus Scions and Kasrkin.

While this sounds all proper and awesome, the average Guardsman in the street can't stand them, referring to them as "glory boys" and resenting the fact that they're a good deal less likely to die, given that they're given better equipment than standard issue cardboard armor with a flashlight. Perhaps also viewing the Stormtroopers as intruding on the Imperial Guard’s role as the successor to the Imperial Army’s ground forces. The Kasrkin (and probably Death Korps Grenadiers, since dead men don't care for glory), who are revered and respected amongst Cadia, are a curious exception. This is likely due to the fact that, unlike most stormtroopers, who are raised and trained in the prestigious [[Schola Progenium]], Kasrkin are all trained right on Cadia and experience the same hellish conditions as everyone else, so they also strongly believe that THIS WILL BE DA DAY UF GLOREE. More canonically, it is because Kasrkin have the same equipment as the grunt Guardsmen they serve with except they have a [[Hellgun|hellgun]] - and yet in spite of the shitty everything else, they're WAY more badass than the stormtroopers. ''That'' is why they are inspiring to the average Guardsmen: Kasrkin show them what normal humans can really do, even the Imperial Guard.

If the Imperial Guard are the levies of the Imperium, the Tempestus Scions are the Imperium’s professional army.

===Notable Stormtrooper Regiments===
* '''9th Ioatan Gorgonnes:''' The 9th Ioatan Gorgonnes come from the Schola Progenium facility on Vedill I, the same facility that feeds recruits to the [[Sisters of Battle|Order of the Glowing Chalice]]. Though they part ways upon finishing their training, they are always reunited on the battlefield. As a result, the 9th Ioatan Gorgonnes are often seen doing missions on behalf of the [[Ecclesiarchy]].
* '''22nd Thetoid Gryphonnes:''' The 22nd Thetoid Gryphonnes are all orphans from the world of Tallix, which has higher than normal gravity. This gives them stronger leg muscles than normal and allows them to perform rapid assaults on any terrain, even with heavy gear. They've also modified their Taurox Primes to sacrifice armor for additional speed.
* '''32nd Thetoid Eagles:''' The 32nd Thetoid Eagles were known for their secretive nature and brutality in battle, with concerns growing among Segmentum command over their ability to follow orders. When the regiment was deployed to the Xinon System to put down an [[Alpha Legion]] cultist uprising, the regiment's command structure and Commissar were killed by a war machine hiding in lava. After securing a drop zone for the 32nd [[Elysian Drop Troops]] as originally ordered, the regiment went berserk and put down uprising after uprising. When the Elysians tried to debrief the 32nd Thetoid Eagles, they found that the entire regiment had vanished.
* '''33rd Deltic Phoenixes:''' The 33rd Deltic Phoenixes were formed from children orphaned by [[Dark Eldar]] raids on the planet Kaldamor. Despite having their memories wiped, the regiment displays a greater zeal and kill rate against Dark Eldar. The Kabal of the Emerald Talon has vowed revenge against the regiment after being defeated by them on the world of Erendix.
* '''34th Betic Centaurs:''' The 34th Betic Centaurs are based on the volcanic [[Death World]] of Makron V, which is often raided by [[Chaos]] forces. These raids help produce some of the hardiest and most battle-hardened stormtroopers in the Imperium, as they provide a perfect training opportunity for the Schola Progenium.
* '''34th Psian Vipers:''' The 34th Psian Vipers are known for their tenacity, even by Ordo Tempestus standards. When the regiment was deployed against awakening [[Necrons]] on the [[Imperial Worlds#Agri-Worlds|Agri-World]] of Murunda II, they got trapped underground when the main entrances collapsed. They didn't consider their escape options until they had destroyed every Necron on the world after several weeks of nonstop fighting.
* '''43rd Iotan Dragons:''' The stormtroopers of the 43rd Iotan Dragons train within simulated darkened labyrinths that give them the ability to fight totally blind. This has made them successful against numerous stealthy enemies, especially [[Tyranid]] organisms.
* '''50th Kappic Eagles:''' Despite barely numbering a single company, the 50th Kappic Eagles have become renowned for their bravery and fearlessness in the face of overwhelming odds under the command of Tempestor Prime Salem Whitlock. Whitlock always insists on leading from the front, and his bravery inspires his men to victory after victory.
*'''54th Psian Jackals:''' After [[Hive Fleet Leviathan]] ate their original homeworld, the 54th Psian Jackals set up shop on the [[Maiden World]] of Mayloc. The [[Eldar]] didn't take too kindly to this, and have attacked them multiple times to retake their land. These attacks have turned the 54th Psian Jackals into the best of the best within the Ordo Tempestus for tracking and countering Eldar incursions, and they have been deployed to deal with Eldar from various [[Craftworld|Craftworlds]]. They also like to paint skulls on their helmets and other images across their armour to intimidate their enemies.
*'''55th [[Alpha Legion|Alphic Hydras]]:''' Among the most respected of Stormtrooper regiments, and bros with the [[Ultramarines]]. In fact, they're so close with the Ultramarines that they've been given extra training grounds across the [[Ultramar]] sub-sector. It's even been rumored that the regiment sends its best and youngest Stormtroopers to be initiated into the chapter. The 55th Alphic Hydras first gained recognition after being deployed alongside the Ultramarines 2nd Company and single-handily purging the [[Agri-World]] Masali of Orks. The [[Chaplain]] assigned to the 2nd Company quickly realized the regiment's value, and they have been deploying alongside the Ultramarines at their request ever since.
*'''55th Kappic Eagles:''' The posterboy Stormtrooper regiment seen on all the box art. They pretty much have no personality beyond being really good at their jobs.
*'''62nd Rhoin Cobras:''' Have a diehard hatred of all forms of foul sorcery. They once had to protect their former Schola Progenium facility on the Jungle World of Skell II from the [[Thousand Sons]]. Despite losing half the regiment, the Stormtroopers were successful in saving their former home.
*'''68th Deltic Lions:''' The Stormtroopers of this regiment are known for being extremely hardy and resistant to disease, and they're often deployed to [[Zone Mortalis]] battlefields and alongside the [[Ordo Malleus]] to fight the forces of [[Nurgle]]. Nurgle has taken quite the interest in this regiment, and seeks to test and investigate them with all sorts of [[Daemon|Daemons]].
*'''86th Deltic Dragons:''' When the Imperium is forced to cooperate with the [[Tau]] to deal with an even greater xenos threat, it's the 86th Deltic Dragons that are sent in. The 86th Deltic Dragons often deploy alongside the similarly stoic and determined forces of Sept Kel'shan. The two forces have successfully defended two separate worlds from splinter fleets of [[Hive Fleet Gorgon]], with the 86th Deltic Dragons getting in close to deal with the big targets and bolstering the Tau gunlines in close range firefights. The Ordo Tempestus watches the regiment closely, and forbids Tempestor Prime Prellus from communicating with [[Tau Commander]] Shas'O Shi'Y'he.
*'''88th Alphic Lions:''' Bros to the end with the [[Blood Angels]], and specialists in dealing with [[Warp]]-based entities.
*'''101st Betic Dragons:''' The 101st Betic Dragons are renowned for their skill in airborne strike assaults. They used those skills to harry and drive some [[Chaos Dreadnought#Helbrute|Helbrutes]] of the [[Crimson Slaughter]] into lava on a volcanic [[Death World]], and gave the [[Destroyers]] chapter the boost they needed to defeat the [[Chaos Space Marines]].
*'''133rd Lambdan Lions:''' The Schola Progenium and training facilities of the 133rd Lambdan Lions are based on the two moons that orbit the [[Forge World]] of Mezoa. Ancient pacts between Mezoa and the Ordo Tempestus see the 133rd Lambdan Lions deployed on behalf of Mezoa's priesthood to recover lost technologies. In exchange, Mezoa augments the gear and vehicles of the regiment, and even teaches them basic Lingua-technis. Despite this, the regiment has little interaction with the Cult Mechanicus and only gives a shit about what their next orders are. Unlike most Stormtrooper regiments, the 133rd Lambdan Lions will engage in long expeditionary campaigns rather than quick strikes as part of their tech recovery missions. Depending on the situation they will also fight in the shadow of [[Skitarii]] Legions and the [[Adeptus Titanicus]], although they usually just do the bidding of Mezoa with the approval of the Ordo Tempestus. Occasionally, the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] will go behind the back of the Ordo Tempestus and issue orders without waiting for approval if Imperial bureaucracy really kicks in.

===In [[Dawn of War]]===
Kasrkin are available for the Imperial Guard starting in Winter Assault, and they're one of the better choices the Guard has. They suffer the same problem that almost every unit in Winter Assault has, however, in that they're redundant - they utterly replace Guardsmen by Tier 3 in that game, and in every game of WA that makes it that far, your sole mission objective from then on is to spam Kasrkin endlessly.

In the later games - Dark Crusade and Soulstorm - their numbers were hardcapped, ergo ensuring that you can only use one squad at a time. They were also added in as a main unit in the Inquisition Daemonhunt mod/Ultimate Apocalypse, and made hideously OP after Dark Crusade's infamous moving debuff, as their ridiculous rate of fire meant that, even with 15%, hit chance they were still going to get a decent DPS.

===In Dawn of War 2===
Stormtroopers are DoW 2's equivalent of DOW's Kasrkin, they appear in all games but only become widely playable during Retribution, where the Guard becomes a playable faction. You only fight alongside them in the original DoW 2 and you get to control two squads of them on one mission during Chaos Rising. They use [[Hotshot Lasgun|Hot-Shot lasguns]] with armor-piercing effects. Stormtroopers can be upgraded with multiple "kits" that lets them be more effective to different targets and fit certain circumstances.

The kits are:
* Assault kit, which increases their fire rate and range, but now actually costs something <strike>and makes them take more damage as well (Outdated as of version 3.18, more info on the Retribution wiki comments)</strike>. Usually passed up in favour of melta, but still useful for dealing with some elite infantry and commanders.
* Anti-tank kit, which easily makes them the best hunter-killer unit the Imperial Guard have available in the game. Their melta guns and melta bombs allow them to wreck vehicles, fuck up enemy power supplies, and to a lesser extent, tear up enemy commanders and superheavies.

Unlike their original appearance in DoW, stormtroopers this time round actually have a role other than being guardsman squad 2.0. Their weapon options and ability to infiltrate make them ideal for removing high priority targets like enemy vehicles, elite units, or commanders. They can also be used to disrupt power supplies and decap points. Although stormtroopers are a bit tougher and have more [[dakka]] than regular guardsmen, their unit size is much smaller (compare 5 troopers to an infantry squad's maximum of 12) and they fare even worse in melee. With the addition of a sergeant and [[commissar]], guardsman infantry squads can reinforce three troopers at a time for a fraction of the cost of a stormtrooper, which makes them a whole lot more resilient in the field when combined with a reinforcement point such as a [[Chimera Transport|Chimera]].

In [[Last Stand]] the Stormtroopers are an available command accessory for the Lord-General, allowing him to call down a squad of them at any time in order to assist. While this gives a major reduction in energy expenditure via their passive and offer the only mobility boost available, they are pretty much dead last in terms of utility. You get only a small few of them - they aren't tanky like ogryns, they aren't very good in close quarters like the catachans and they can't take any other weapons like the guardsmen.

===On Tabletop===
[[File:Tempestor.jpg|300px|thumb|right|What they look like.]]
Scions/Stormtroopers are difficult to classify in tabletop. Many players eschew them, since the Imperial Guard used to be able to field cheaper <STRIKE>Infiltrators with</STRIKE> carapace armor (and better range as part of the bargain) via Veteran Squads, and Veterans had Objective Secured as part of the bargain (but now so do Scions, who can be taken as Troops). On the other hand, Scions Deep Strike by default and come with AP-2 weapons which can put the hurt on just about anything, including Marines.

As of 8th Scions have effectively replaced Veterans as an up-armored, elite Troops choice. Although Veterans can still take heavy weapon teams and heavy flamers (which makes them a better choice for a static gunline) they have lost infiltrate ''and'' their old doctrines (carapace armor, camo-cloaks, snare mines), making them worth just about fuck-all to anyone who isn't running a Vanguard.

Where Scions come into their own, however, is as surgical strike units. Suffice to say, Scions are amazing units when used for target elimination - nobody likes taking AP-2 fire from anything (except, you know, [[MEQ|TEQ]]) and they provide easy deep-striking plasma and meltas that the [[Imperial Guard]] lacks. Scions are a comparatively mobile and deadly force whose basic guns now have better AP than a goddamn ''bolter''. Access to up to 4x special weapons and BS+3 doesn't hurt either - well, unless you're the enemy. Then it actually does hurt. A lot.

Scions can take a transport such as a [[Chimera Transport|Chimera]] or [[Taurox#Taurox Prime|Taurox Prime]], however, Valkries and Vendettas are much more reliable than simply deep striking. In 8th they can also be taken as their own stand-alone regiment and come with interesting stratagems and special rules. For instance, their Warlords can Deny the Witch as if they were a psyker; with '''Superior Intelligence''' you can shoot at deep strikers within 12" the instant they arrive; combine the '''Tactical Auto-Reliquary of Tiberius''' with Master of Command and your Tempestor Prime becomes a 40 pt Creed; and if your Stormies are in double-tap range then their weapons gets an extra shot whenever you roll 6+ to hit.

A common joke amongst /tg/ is that in order to win, you must spam '''MOAR STORMTROOPERS'''.

9th Edition seems to have taken a surprising turn as they announced the return of the Kasrkin, implying that they'll either be a legitimate unit to include in a Cadian army or as some reskins.

===Tales of Hilarity===
Almost ''every'' 40K oldfag can tell you a tale of their first (and often most memorable) encounter with Stormtroopers; usually it pans out around the same way: the player (often playing something lighter-armored, like [[Tyranids]], [[Orks]], or [[Eldar]]) has fought a lot of Guard units, but hasn't really ''seen'' Stormtroopers in action before, and the Storms are usually camping an objective or getting ready to clear an area. The unwitting player moves in to intercept, expecting just another Guardsman squad, and proceeds to learn that Carapace Armor is a thing and it makes its wearer substantially harder to kill than Guardsmen are. The Stormtroopers then immediately return fire and quickly mulch the squad with their BS4 and AP3 Hellguns (AP5 in the previous editions, but with 24" range) weapons, and the young player quickly learns to never take a unit lightly again.

Another humorous tale that is constantly related regarding Stormtroopers is when Inquisitorial Stormtrooper Sergeants, in 3rd edition, were able to, due to a typo in earlier prints of the codex, take Thunder Hammers. This was expensive, but since a standard power weapon was only 10 less, this quickly became a thing wherein a Stormtrooper squad could be an effective charge deterrent, as enemies would assault the squad, the Stormtroopers would armor save most of the damage, and the hits from the Thunder Hammer would screw the attacker's initiative, resulting in the one thing every close-combat squad fears: Losing an assault to a bunch of Squishy humies. This was errata'd away in later editions, though there ''was'' an article on Games-Workshop's website condoning the practice back in 2006.

{{Militarum-Tempestus}}
{{Imperial-Guard}}
{{Inquisition}}

== Star Wars ==
[[Image:Imperial_Stormtroopers.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Note the substantial height differences in a group that's supposedly a bunch of clones. There's a reason the EU didn't go with the idea that ''all'' Stormtroopers are clones. At least not clones of the same person.]]
In [[Star Wars]] Stormtroopers are the iconic white armored soldiers of the Galactic Empire. They were formed out of the remaining clones of the Grand Army of the Republic when it was dissolved into the Empire. The increase in numbers needed to ''hold'' territory instead of just take it combined with a clone rebellion and exhaustion of the original Jango Fett DNA has seen the Empire transition away from a force exclusively made up of clones. As a result, rather than be children of a single clone daddy, Stormtroopers are made up of recruited humans as well as clones of newer templates created by Spaarti cloning, a process that produced much faster results than the Kaminoan cloning used by the original clones at the cost of lower quality. Their fancy armor isn't very good against blasters, even within the films.

=== Clones? Skill Level? ===
Lucas has waffled on if Stormtroopers are cloned or not. The original films had large groups of uneven height stand next to each other and in his early notes for Expanded Universe material, he stated there were female Stormtroopers at other duty stations. Later on he made edits in the special edition and other rereleases, plus a gag in the prequels that the Stromtrooper hitting his head was inherited from Jango, that implied they were. Stormtroopers are also said to be elite soldiers with peerless marksmanship ("Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise."). Despite this, their poor showing during the Death Star escape (people often forget they were ''intentionally'' letting them get away to track them) and the Battle of Endor (for which there is no excuse) and minimal appearance of "normal" Imperial soldiers (The Holiday Special and SOLO: A Star Wars story are the only places in live action where they're anything but background details) have resulted in the expanded universe and most RPGs showing them as disposable mooks. But the fact is, Stormtroopers remain a separate institution within the Imperial military, kind of like the Waffen-SS or Napoleons Imperial Guard, with their own resources and command structures separated from the rest of it.

The actual rank-and-file in the Imperial military is the aptly named Imperial Army which sees very little representation in any Star Wars media and many writers completely forget about, at least until recently. The brief occasions where the Army is represented in any capacity are the AT-ST pilots in Episode 6 and the poor schmucks slaughtered by the dozens in the awesome-as-heck Battle of Mimban in ''Solo''. Apparently, Army troopers are mainly defensive garrisons and PDF forces, and they're not very willing to carry out the Empire's more ''dubious'' orders, which is why they tend not to be featured in the major climactic events shown in most media. But again, most people, fans and writers alike, forget about this detail, and so Stormtroopers are made the primary infantry force in the franchise, even when it doesn't make sense for a supposedly elite force being used to garrison some no-name outpost. And consequentially, often portrayed as the lowly fodder. This was ''eventually'' rectified by establishing that while Vader's personal 501st Legion, the only ones Kenobi was familiar with (besides his own unit from the Clone Wars, the 212 under Cody, and other GAR units who obviously are better than conscript masses due to combat experience), were indeed cloned elites and the only unit to fully retain the Jango Fett template due to them being fanatically loyal, the majority of Stormtroopers in the galaxy are merely recruited humans with much lower standards or cloned from younger, inferior, clone daddies. The Commando Clones were also brought into the 501 and the rest of the Fett clones either retired early due to accelerated aging, defected to Mandalore through Kal Skirata or gave training to others like Cody and then retired after a few years of that. The 501st had their moment of glory at Hoth as the main infantry force accompanying Vader, but even then between the loss of several AT-ATs to Luke, Wedge and the other Rogue Squadron pilots and to the ice breaking under some of the others and the accelerated aging reducing performance, it was a tactical win but a strategic failure as many rebels managed to escape. The 501st Legion Fett clones were then retired in the next year before Endor due to the aging problems with clones and degradation in the original DNA sample, which helps explain their losses there. Thrawn later rebuilt the 501st with elite recruits and this version of the unit continues for more than a century with the best of the best being placed there, transferring from Thrawn to the Imperial Remnant at Bastion and serving until the end of Legends history.

Another phenomena in the expanded universe is attempts to explain the poor accuracy with gear issues. These range from poor vision in helmets to defective components in blasters. These two could be used together, saying that the armor was designed for a very limited size range (a literal bunch of clones) and fit poorly on recruited soldiers. This is especially so when it's outright canon that early generation clone armor was made by non-humans and did indeed impede movement. However it is also worth pointing out that in the real world 90% of the shots a soldier takes will miss anyway.

Where Stormtroopers do excel consistently is in fights against equally nameless foes. All RPGs stats and asymmetrical video games show Stormtroopers are flat out better than the typical Rebel soldier, B1 droid or Hutt thug. This isn't so curbstompingly better that Stormtroopers would win with 2-1 odds without better tactics (which they'd have in narrative but isn't represented mechanically) but they do have better stats. Officially they're just worse than any hero. If you watch the original Star Wars movie (whether remastered or not), the Stormtroopers whenever fighting non-plot armored people absolutely ''curbstomp''. Like in the first scene of the movie when they go through a single-file door into a heavily defended and narrow corridor and yet slaughter the absolute ''fuck'' out of the Rebels. In fact, the only time we see them faring badly in firefights in the movies is on the Death Star in the first movie (when there was a beacon on the Falcon and so their misses were likely due to orders to let the heroes escape), against Luke on Cloud City in The Empire Strikes Back (he's a freaking Force-sensitive with some training and combat experience, oh and also the son of the literal Chosen One of the setting, so that isn't a fair measurement), and we don't really see anything in Return of the Jedi due to Ewok shenanigans. When the Millennium Falcon was escaping Tatooine where the troopers were arguably trying to damage the ship's engines and not actively trying to shoot Han Solo. With the Imperial Remnant they show competence fighting at the Yuuzhan Vong War and continue service until the end of the known timeline, even fighting on both sides of the last known war and one company takes part in the last battle known, witnessing the extinction of the Sith.

Within the Disney canon, Rogue One also indicates another factor in which Force Adept Chirrut Imwe walks out of cover (after a Rebel Soldier gets wasted by Stormtroopers for being exposed from cover for a second) and walks through a hail of blaster fire sedately while chanting a matra to the Force. This indicates that the Force is to some degree actively intervening for force sensitive individuals by making shots run astray, though even this is not a 100% fool proof solution as he was eventually gunned down.

=== Variants ===
Since the Empire is large and includes every biome known to man and several fictional ones (and the Star Wars franchise is built on toy sales), the Stormtrooper Corps has specialized units for nearly everything imaginable. On top of this, there have also been many attempts to create [[Primaris Space Marines|even better versions]] of normal Stormtroopers, leading to quite a few different "elite" types that [[Deathwatch|almost all wear]] [[Black Templars|black armor]]. This is a list of all the ones people care about because they are common, cool, or appeared in a movie or a good EU product, plus a few memorable one-offs.

* Coastal Defender Stormtrooper: Also known by the less intimidating name of "Shore Troopers". Made for Rogue One, they basically get stationed on beaches and other tropical places like Scariff, where the movie's big battle takes place. In theory, this ''should'' mean they get the best jobs of any Stormtrooper, but as Rogue One and The Mandalorian both show, this isn't really the case.
* Cold assault stormtrooper: More commonly known as snowtroopers, this is a normal group of Stormtroopers outfited with cold weather gear. Most infamous for their appearance at the Battle of Hoth, but they've seen many other frozen battlefields. One of the few non-standard variants seen on film.
* Dark Trooper: A series of battle droids (and cybernetically augmented soldiers depending on iteration), with the later models also doubling as [[Power Armor]] that can be worn by a regular Stormtrooper. Discontinued after Kyle Katarn blew up their mobile production facility, taking the project notes and designer with it, in ''Dark Forces''. Brought into Disney's canon in season 2 of The Mandalorian to the sound of questionable dubstep, but the Mouse House ''did'' remember to keep them dangerous...until Luke Skywalker shows up that is.
** Purge Trooper: A variant Dark Trooper in Legends designed to hunt down Force-users like surviving Jedi, making them basically the Sentinels to the Jedi's X-Men. Made for The Force Unleashed, where they are easily one of the most annoying enemies in the game. Disney has their own Purge Troopers, but there they're Clone Troopers in black Paratrooper armor with some red instead of OP droids, and can be heard [[Emperor's Children|enjoying combat a little too much]] in Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order.
* Death Trooper: One of two Stormtrooper variants of note introduced in Rogue One, they basically function as Disney's equivalent to Shadow Stormtroopers: black armored elites who are more stealthy than regular...[[Derp|even though Shadow Stormtroopers still exist also]]. For some reason their helmets garble their voices into sinister-sounding but completely incoherent gibberish, ensuring they'd be useless at any drive-thru (as more than one person online has already pointed out).
* Desert Stormtrooper: More commonly known as sandtroopers. Made for hot environments like Tatooine, making them the very first Stormtrooper variant ever shown. They all wear backpacks and an orange or black shoulder pad, the latter also sometimes showing up on regular Stormtroopers who are officers or heavy weapons specialists (it's a bit inconsistent).
* Emperor's Royal Guard: Stormtroopers trained to protect Emperor Palpatine himself. Their members are drawn from the ranks of the best Stormtrooper forces, then put through exceptionally brutal training on a barren desert hellhole which only the best survive, turning them into functional supersoldiers, a premise [[Dune|you definitely haven't seen before]]. They're then put under the direct command of Palpatine, with orders to protect him and undertake any sabotage/assassination/frontline combat missions he commands them to. They mainly use force pikes (shock sticks basically), or double-bladed vibroswords to stab and slash things to death in the Emperor's name, though they can and do use red-tinted versions of Stormtrooper armour and vehicles when in the field. While obviously not able to take down Luke Skywalker-types, they are still among the best non Force Users in the setting (though, it should be noted that some of them ARE force sensitive, and are recruited specifically because of that). In Legends, Royal Guards also have a secondary function of keeping an eye on Vader, reporting on his every activity so that Vader doesn't have an opportunity to betray Palpatine; they may not be a match for him, but Vader can hardly do anything without the Emperor knowing about it. The unit was eventually wiped out, to literally the last man, by former member turned traitor Carnor Jax.
** Coruscant Guard: Another red-armored elite branch of the Empire, they're basically Coruscant's [[Adeptus Arbites|brutal, no-nonsense police force]]. Mostly showed up in Shadows of the Empire, where Luke disguising himself as one allowed them to (sort of), get an action figure.
** Riot Trooper: Made exclusively for Force Unleashed II. They are also trained on Yinchorr, but wear white armor and are seemingly more common and less skilled than the red-robed Royal Guards. Use electro-staves like the ones wielded by Grievous' Magnaguards.
** Shadow Guard: Black armored, Force-sensitive versions of the Royal Guard. They use red-bladed lightsaber pikes and Force powers in combat, acting as Palpatine's elite enforcers and assassins. Exactly where they come from is a complete mystery, with even Vader kept in the dark on their origins - in-universe theories range from them being [[grimdark|Jedi Knights captured, tortured, and mind-broken by the Empire until they're little more than speechless living weapons]] to them being Force-sensitives promoted from the rank of the regular Royal Guard. Of course, these explanations are hardly mutually exclusive.
** Praetorian Guards: Before they became the bodyguards of Snoke and [[Skub|the stars of one of the most contentious fight scenes in a Star Wars movie]], Season 3 of the Mandalorian reveals that the Praetorians were already active as part of the Imperial Remnant. Armor is possibly Beskar.
** Imperial Sovereign Protectors: The best of the best of the Royal Guards get promoted to become these guys. To achieve this, they must undergo grueling training and pass very exacting standards. They generally were either part of the Emperor's personal protection, were posted to VERY important locations (such as the Imperial Citadel on Byss), or were deployed on special missions for the Emperor, who was the only person they answered to. Ironically, the most famous member of the cohort, Carnor Jax, actually conspired to overthrow Palpatine and become a Sith Lord himself, and briefly ran his own Imperial splinter faction, the Crimson Empire, after Palpatine (finally) died, something that Jax himself had a hand in ensuring.
* EVO Trooper: Short for "environmental". Debuting in The Force Unleashed, they're sent to particularly exotic and dangerous locales where its felt a more specialized trooper is needed (because the Empire never has enough of those). Wield a rifle that looks a bit like a miniature chaingun, and are said to be [[Imperium of Man|selected from the ranks of Stormtroopers with particularly pronounced hatred of non-humans]].
** Shadow EVO Trooper: Variant of the variant; Shadow Stormtroopers with experimental version of the EVO armor that can go invisible like Shadow Stormtrooper armor.
* Hazard Troopers: The Empire's Space Marines. Having super-bulky armor and as such ''much'' tankier than other varieties, they are sent on planets with extremely hostile conditions (like acid rain, lava lakes, and so on). Made their first and only appearance in Jedi Academy, where they're more or less the toughest recurring enemy in the game that doesn't have a lightsaber.
* Imperial Armored Commando: Introduced Star Wars Rebels but first shown as live action in Season 3 of The Mandalorian, they're Stormtroopers outfitted with jetpacks, beskar armor, and all the other Mandalorian goodies to basically serve as Imperial Mandalorians (something the Empire had previously before they went and genocided them).
* Incinerator Trooper: Another type introduced in The Force Unleashed, identifiable by their red markings and shoulder pauldron. [[Salamanders (Chapter)|Their thing is, naturally, being the flamethrower guys]]. Made it into Disney's canon thanks to showing up in The Mandalorian (does make one wonder why the Empire didn't use them on Endor though, given that's an environment they would have been ideal for).
* Jump Trooper: AKA Rocket Trooper, Sky Trooper and Air Assault Trooper. Stormtroopers with jetpacks. Originally only suitable for short jumps, by the New Republic era the technology has evolved enough for them to get proper jetpacks that let them fly indefinitely.
* Magma Stormtrooper: Also called "Lavatroopers" in the old Legends Canon, which also gives them the more distinct design of red Stormtrooper armor. In Disney (where to date they've only really appeared in DICE's first Battlefront game), they basically just look exactly the same as Sandtroopers.
* Novatrooper: Oh look, '''another''' black-armored variant, though these ones are only a bit better trained than standard Stormtroopers and have similar equipment. Have a bit of gold to balance out all the black, and appear only in the Star Wars: Galaxies MMO. Generally meant to be ceremonial rather than front-line infantry, which may explain why they're not ''that'' much better trained.
* Scout Trooper: Scouts, obviously (also snipers according to a bunch of the video games). Scout troopers have a distinct helmet that allows for greater visibility as well as lighter leg and shoulder armor for greater mobility. They typically use Speederbikes and long ranged rifles. Scout troopers are [[Reasonable Marines|the only type of Stormtrooper besides Mimban Stormtroopers known to even occasionally make use of camouflage]] (though the ones at Endor did not). One of the few variants shown on film.
** Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order and its sequel gives us variants of the variant in the form of Scout Troopers who carry electric batons and are basically the low-level melee enemy. Sequel adds shielded ones.
* Range Trooper: Debuted in Solo (since nary a new OT-Era Star Wars product comes out without introducing at least one new Stormtrooper variant). Have big magnetized boots that let them stick to trains (yes, seriously). Not entirely clear what their specialized role is (beyond selling more toys of course). [[Space Wolves|They also wear fur with their armor and are considered some of the toughest in the Empire]].
* Shadow Stormtrooper: Also known as "Shadowtroopers" and "Blackhole Stormtroopers", they're your standard Stormtroopers, but their armor is black. Depending on the writer, this is either just for show, or means they have stealth capabilities and are a cut above standard Stormtroopers. Exist in Disney as well as Legends, even though the Death Troopers make them somewhat redundant in the former.
** Shadowtrooper: No, your eyes aren't deceiving you. [[Derp|There is another, unrelated type of black-armored elite Imperial called "Shadowtrooper"]]. These ones are only in Legends, and are Stormtroopers forcibly made Force-Sensitive, outfitted with cortosis armor that can take multiple hits from a lightsaber, and used by the Imperial Remnant against the Jedi of Luke's Order. Kyle Katarn fights them in Jedi Outcast.
* Storm Commandos: Looking very similar to Scout Troopers, but in black. So aesthetically to Scout Troopers what Shadow Stormtroopers are to regular Stormtroopers. One of many black-armored elites the Empire use, but they don't get much exposure in either Legends or Disney (despite existing in both). General Crix Madine used to lead them before joining the Rebels.
* Stormtrooper Commander: Exactly what it sounds like. Only really a unique variant in The Force Unleashed, where they're differentiated from standard Stormtroopers with blue markings intended to evoke the ARC Troopers (as they were meant to be a spiritual successor to them), and personal force-fields. Whenever Stormtrooper officers and squad leaders show up anywhere else, they usually just get orange shoulder pads instead of the blue markings.
* Terror Trooper: Introduced in The Force Unleashed II, they're an experimental Stormtrooper type recognizable by their [[Eversor|sharp claws, skull-like masks, and the fact that they're merciless, bloodthirsty killers]]. Their masks are clearly based off of General Grievous' mask.
* Wet Weather Gear stormtrooper: Also called "Mimban Stormtroopers" because their only big appearance so far is on Mimban in the Han Solo movie. Armor has a light gray camo pattern, and they get capes. Presumably meant for rainy and muddy environments (so basically the ones who go to shitty weather planets).
* Wetland assault stormtrooper: More commonly known as swamptroopers, this branch wears green colored gear optimized for swamps. Fairly obscure, mostly making appearances in ''Jedi Outcast'' and ''Galaxies'' and that's it.
* Zero-G assault stormtrooper: More commonly known as spacetroopers, this branch wears [[Power Armor]] designed for boarding and capturing disabled ships. They are first mentioned in [[Star Wars RPG]] materials by [[West End Games]], but are most famous for their appearance in the climax of ''Heir to the Empire'', the first book of the Thrawn trilogy. There is a pair of Stormtroopers with an unusual backpack (possibly a jetpack) that are ''very'' briefly seen in the original movie, but they look nothing like future deceptions of spacetroopers, fanoned as that configuration being more for guys patrolling out of atmosphere but in gravity. They also appear in the computer game X-Wing: Alliance.
* Mortar Stormtroopers: One of these made a brief appearance in Season 2 of the Mandalorian. Considering the writers and directors own known nerdhood into star wars, they were most likely made for the scene as parody on all the types and variants of the stormtroopers.

OK, I think we got them all. If not, you can always check the Wookiepedia page, OG is pretty extensive.

Nobledark Imperium Notes

2026-03-25T06:30:33Z

Archange1: Undo revision 1008434 by 192.42.116.179 (talk)

'''This page is part of the Nobledark Imperium, a fan re-working of the Warhammer 40,000 Universe. See the [[Nobledark Imperium|Nobledark Imperium Introduction]] and [[Nobledark Imperium|Main Page]] for more information on the alternate universe'''

This page contains assorted notes on the [[Nobledark Imperium]] universe that have not yet been written up into a formalized codex format. This list is not exhaustive, and a significant amount of information still remains in the threads. As the information on this page is written up or is able to be introduced into existing entries, it will be removed from this page. Hopefully, this page can eventually be used as a series bible for information concerning the Nobledark Imperium that for whatever reason cannot be placed on the main pages (character motivations, spoilery information that disrupts the normal tone, etc.). It's not a strict "this is how it is, deal with it" either. Make what changes you want to the general story (in your head, please). Like, Nobledark but keeping the Emperor = shaman-gestalt thing or something. Don't like the Tau? Write a story about them being exterminated instead of incorporated. [[Codex Astartes|It's a guideline, not some holy writ.]]

= So What’s The Deal With Nobledark Imperium Anyway =

If you’re here, you’ve probably already read the blurb on the main page and have come here looking for information on what's going on in this universe or what your favorite factions have been up to. If not, you may want to check out [[Nobledark Imperium|the opening of the Nobledark Imperium main page]] to get a general idea of what the setting is about.

The general high concept of Nobledark Imperium is that by 999.M41, the “sane” races of the galaxy (humans, eldar, tau, and others) have united in an alliance as a bastion against Chaos, the Necrons, the tyranids, and the rest. Essentially the [[Lord of the Rings|last alliance of men and <s>elves</s> eldar]] but IN SPACE. At the same time, things have escalated to the point that the survival of everything is in doubt (including Chaos). Overall, individual power levels are on the whole slightly lower in exchange for sanity, competence, and common sense but the power level of the various factions is actually increased. Imperium is more powerful because it is the combination of humans, eldar, tau, and many other xenos races, and because there was no Horus Heresy. Chaos is more powerful because the Emperor and Isha are still walking around and therefore the Chaos Gods are more focused on the common threat like during the [[Horus Heresy]] and have taken a bigger interest in realspace. Also while no one legion fell to Chaos, Chaos has enough that it has both [[Chaos Space Marines|spiky marines]] and [[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#The_Crone_World_Eldar|crazy fair folk]] to work with. The Necrons are mostly awake and more organized under the Silent King, who has more direct control over them. Orks are increasingly organized and all around scarier. Tyranids are more powerful because their main fleet actually showed up.

The overall tone of the universe is nobledark. That is, the universe is a dark, dangerous, and sometimes downright nasty place, but people at their core are basically good (or at least well-intentioned). There are still plenty of monsters out there, but quite a few of them genuinely believe what they are doing is right in addition to the ones that are flat out nasty. This tone is somewhat heterogenous, in between the general tone of nobledark there are spots of hope along with great big blotches of darkness (such as [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Krieg|Krieg]], [[Nobledark_Imperium_Primarchs#Lion|what happened to the Dark Angels]], and [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Altansar|Craftworld Altansar]] to name a few) for contrast.

By 999.M41, the galaxy can generally be divided into four major factions.

'''TEAM IMPERIUM'''<br>
'''[[Imperium of Man|Humanity]]''' - The Imperium isn’t the Imperium of Man anymore (though it was at one point long ago in history). It’s the Imperium of men, eldar, tau, [[Nobledark_Imperium_Member_States#Kinebrach|kinebrach]], [[Nobledark_Imperium_Member_States#Tarellians|tarellians]], and a hundred other races. Humanity is less totalitarian and xenophobic than in canon, as the Emperor wasn’t around for most of the Age of Strife and the purpose of the Great Crusade wasn’t manifest destiny but to restore humanity to its former glory. No glorification of the Holy Human Form, if anything because the Warlord/Steward/Emperor and [[Nobledark_Imperium_Primarchs#Magnus_the_Red|at least three]] [[Nobledark_Imperium_Primarchs#Horus|of the primarchs]] [[Nobledark_Imperium_Primarchs#Sanguinius|were abhumans]], not to mention the numerous worlds with abhuman populations. Generally adopt the [[Interex]] method to dealing with Chaos with mixed success: fewer people fall to Chaos but because of this the Ruinous Powers pump more power behind the people crazy enough to invoke them. No monolithic theocracy because religion is considered a good Chaos deterrent. Technology is still mostly controlled by the Adeptus Mechanicus and is largely stagnant (advancing at a glacial pace at best) and A.I. is still considered a boogeyman, but closer to 30k than 40k in tech levels (things like jetbikes and volkite weapons are still around, but expensive and rare). Horus Heresy never happened, no primarch fell and no legion turned to Chaos entirely, but the Chaos-supercharged War of the Beast essentially took its place.<br>
'''[[Eldar|Craftworld/Exodite Eldar]]''' – Overall less arrogant and haughty than in canon (though still pretty arrogant). Have gradually gotten less arrogant as time has passed (something similar has happened with humanity and xenophobia). Joined forces with humanity in order to rescue Isha from Nurgle in exchange for helping humanity with the Astronomican and general anti-Chaos measures, later formed a permanent alliance after the War of the Beast. Actually have people skills in this timeline, so are capable of engaging in diplomacy and communicating with people beyond cultural posturing. Freeing Isha from Nurgle has restored hope to their people, though they are still a long way from shaking off their “dying race” status.<br>
'''[[Tau]]''' – The last of the major (lol) powers to join the Imperium, tried to go it alone for many millennia but eventually joined in M39 when they saw they couldn’t survive by themselves (Farsight broke away because of this). Rose to power not through pheromone brainwashing by the Ethereals (which they don’t have since in canon it was engineered by the Eldar in a bid to create <s>reliable allies</s> living tools, which they don’t need in this timeline since they have humanity) but through their own blood, sweat, and tears. Obedience to the Ethereals is more social engineering than anything else. Genuinely well-meaning, but also a bit arrogant and naive. No longer have the brainwashing and sinister Orwellian undertones, but have lost their plot armor in exchange. Currently have an arc similar to humanity in [[Bioware|Mass Effect 1]]: they’ve recently realized they’re in a galaxy where they’re not at the big boys table and they take that as a challenge to overcome.<br>

'''“TEAM” CHAOS'''<br>
“Team” being used here in only the loosest sense of the word. The groups here are not really unified into a cohesive front and in the case of two of them (Orks and Dark Eldar) are only nominally associated with Chaos. That said, the [[Chaos Gods]] are on a more united war footing like they were during the [[Horus Heresy]] and are able to at the very least get their daemons, the Crone Eldar, the Chaos Space Marines, and the Lost and the Damned to put their differences aside and [[get shit done]]<br>
'''[[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#The_Crone_World_Eldar|Croneworld/Chaos Eldar]]''' – The only original faction on the list. Have effectively taken the place of Chaos Space Marines as the chosen of the Chaos Gods because no legion entirely fell to Chaos. Formed from the eldar living on the Crone Worlds in the Eye of Terror after Slaanesh who, in a spectacular instance of long-term thinking, decided to just eat ''most'' of the eldar on the Crone Worlds instead of ''all'' of them because it saw the benefits of having cultists constantly worshiping it (a more reasonable explanation would be Eldar selling their souls to any other Dark God than Slaanesh to at least ensure they're souls won't be eaten or raped). Because it’s not just the mortal races that have gotten a dose of sanity in this timeline, the Chaos Gods are more savvy as well. Basically, where Craftworld Eldar are [[Lord of the Rings|Tolkien]]-[[The_Silmarillion|esque]] elves and Dark Eldar are inspired by space pirates and [[Dark Elves (Warhammer)]]/[[Drow]], the Croneworld Eldar are essentially the fair folk and the Wild Hunt meet Chaos cultists. Led by [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Lady_Malys|Lady Aurelia Malys]], the Everchosen of Chaos, who is effectively the “[[Abbadon]]” of this setting.<br>
'''[[Chaos Space Marines]]''' – No legion or primarch completely fell to Chaos, but significant numbers turned during the War of the Beast (including the majority of the Dark Angels) and afterwards. Known as “The Fallen” in this timeline primarily because most of them used to be Dark Angels. The Chaos Gods like to give them extra buffs due to their uniqueness value relative to the Chaos Eldar to the point that while their numbers are lower the average Fallen could probably win against a regular Astartes in one-on-one combat.<br>
'''[[Orks]]''' – Lumped in with Chaos because although they are not outright allied with Chaos, many of Chaos’ greatest victories have been ork-related (such as the War of the Beast) and the Crone World Eldar like to manipulate them into serving as cannon fodder and shock troops (similar to what the eldar do to the Imperium in canon). The orks in-universe recently got a huge dose of dangerous in the form of [[Nobledark_Imperium_Xenos#Brain_Boyz|Brain Boyz]], which are basically orks like in [[War of the Beast|The Beast Arises]] series that give the orks around them a collective buff in intelligence by their very presence. The Crone World Eldar are actually getting worried about their ability to manipulate the Orks because of this. Chaos Orks are a thing. Chaos has been devoting more of its efforts to corrupting the orks, but with mixed success. It is possible for Orks to turn to Chaos, but it’s like with [[Chaos Dwarfs]] where they have to individually choose to fall. Orks tend to fight Chaos just as often as they ally with it.<br>
'''[[Dark Eldar]]''' – Space pirates, mad scientists, slavers, and raiders. Not too different from canon. Come off as slightly more pragmatic than in canon, if only because they have their crazy warpdust-snorting kin in the Eye of Terror as a point of contrast. Often raid in the wake of Chaos invasions, not because they like the Crone World Eldar but because they see weakness and opportunity and follow (they do this with everybody, for example raiding Tau space after a Hive Fleet hit). At the turn of the millennium on M40 Lady Malys and Asdrubael Vect were unified in the Dark Wedding, allying the Dark and Chaos Eldar in preparation for the 13th Black Crusade. Not every denizen of Commorragh likes this arrangement.<br>
'''[[Lost and the Damned]]''' – Viking raiders meet Viet Cong. Have taken some influence from [[Warriors of Chaos]] and [[Beastmen]] from [[Warhammer Fantasy]], because most warbands are poorly supplied and melee weapons don't need reloading. Range from to warbands like the Blood Pact (led by Doombreed) who are well-organized and have actual infrastructure to warbands who barely scrape by and do temp work for the Dark Mechanicus and the Crone Eldar in exchange for gear.

'''TEAM NECRON'''<br>
'''[[Necron|Necron Star Empire]]''' - Basically a “best of both worlds” mix of both Oldcrons and Newcrons. On the one hand, the Necrons do want to kill all life in the galaxy, but they’re not doing this because they are controlled by the C’tan. They’re doing this of their own free will, because they see it as the only way to kill Chaos and make the galaxy safe for future life (specifically them, the fact that they will be the only species to actually benefit from this is immaterial to them), going so far as to regard it as a mercy kill. Additionally, while many Necrons have personalities and quirks, they are essentially a post-individual society slaved to the will of the Silent King, who is [[Settra the Imperishable|not a nice guy]] and is willing to alter their individuality and minds as he sees fit. The few exceptions are the Necrons who are either too crazy to be controlled (Nemesor Zahndrekh, Xun’bakyr) or have circumvented the control protocols through other means ([[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Solemnnace|Trazyn the Infinite]], Orikan the Diviner). More organized than in canon, more of the dynasties have awoken than in canon and there's a big-ass Necron Star Empire in the galactic northeast where the Sautekh, Oruscar, Nekthyst and other dynasties are in canon.<br>
'''[[C%27tan|C’tan]]''' – Again, a “best of both worlds” approach. While many of the C’tan were sharded and imprisoned with Tesseract Labyrinths, the big names ([[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Nightbringer|Nightbringer]], [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#Void_Dragon|Void Dragon]], [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Outsider|Outsider]]) are still essentially whole and very real threats. The sole exception is the Deceiver, who allowed himself to get shattered on purpose so he could essentially troll people in multiple places at the same time. In addition, at least two of the C’tan (Void Dragon and Nightbringer) have figured out how to use warp power for their own benefit by being an object of worship/fear. Most certainly not allied with the Necrons, who hate most of them (especially the Nightbringer and Deceiver). Present an addition threat to the Imperium in the form of [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#C'tan_Vampires|C’tan vampires]].<br>

'''TEAM TYRANID'''<br>
'''[[Tyranids]]''' - Not too different from canon. Main difference is that the genestealers and Hive Fleets showed up early (Behemoth in M37, Kraken in M38, and Leviathan in M39), and the famous three Hive Fleets (Behemoth, Kraken, and Leviathan) really were just scouting fleets. The main Hive Fleet just started to make galaxyfall about two and a half centuries ago. Another major difference is they were a threat that nobody saw coming. Not the Imperium with its farseers, not Chaos, not even the Necron Star Empire. They are a completely outside context problem.

In addition to these, there are a number of independent parties that are not aligned with any faction, including the Q’orl swarmhood, Craftworlds [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Dorhai|Dorhai]] and [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Kaelor|Kaelor]], the [[Nobledark_Imperium_Xenos#Hrud|Hrud]], the [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Zoats|Zoats]], [[Nobledark_Imperium_Drafts#The_Rangdan_Xenocides_and_the_Slaugth|the Slaugth]], the Severan Dominate, [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Olamic_Quietude|the Olamic Quietude]], and Trazyn the Infinite and several other Necron dynasties. Orks and Dark Eldar could also be added to this list, as they really only fight alongside Chaos when it serves their purposes.

Each of the factions has their own effective “win” condition, which are as follows:

'''Imperium''' - Not die. Surprisingly, the Imperium doesn't have that strong of a win condition compared to the other powers. There are the [[Nobledark_Imperium_Imperial_Society_and_Culture#The_Starchild_Prophecies|Starchild Prophecies]], but the Starchild prophecies are often vague and many of them actually don't say the birth of the Starchild is a good thing. One of the most popular interpretations out-of-universe is that the Starchild is Ynnead and his birth will allow the Imperium to finally go on the offensive against Chaos, but nothing is set in stone.<br>
'''Chaos''' - March on Terra, burn it to the ground, kill the Emperor, and drag Isha back into the Warp. Destroy the Necron Star Empire and the tyranid swarm while they are at it.<br>
'''Necron Star Empire''' - Activate the [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Cadia|Cadian Pillars]], which would starve Chaos, as well as kill off the Imperium and the tyranids. Then take the first sentient race that evolves after the Cadian pillars are deactivated and use them for the biotransference.<br>
'''Tyranids''' - Swarm across the galaxy to the two biggest concentrations of psychic energy (Eye of Terror and Old Earth), choking out Chaos and wiping out the Imperium in the process. Necron Star Empire would presumably be overrun in the process.

The “present day” of the setting is effectively “frozen” as one minute to midnight on 999.M41 Earth time, much like was for many years. This is not to say that nothing can happen after this time, but that anything past this date is non-canonical and effectively but one of many possible courses the future could take. The fate of the galaxy is ultimately an exercise for the reader. Do you believe Ynnead is the Impossible Child and ultimately drags Slaanesh off to hell for all the suffering they caused? Then he is. [[The End Times|Do you believe the Imperium puts up a valiant last stand but are ultimately overcome by the hordes of Chaos?]] Then it does. Do the Necrons succeed in their goal to activate the Cadian Pillars and kill all life in the galaxy? Do the Orks break free and krump the rest of da’ gitz? Do the tyranids OM NOM NOM everything? You decide. The nature of the future, including who wins, who loses, who lives, and who dies, is effectively up to the reader to determine.

= Men of Gold and the Age of Strife =

- The Men of Gold were originally created as mediators between humanity and the Iron Minds of the Men of Iron, as well as serve as a communications system between the various worlds of humanity<br>
- The Soul Binding process was originally a procedure to link Men of Gold together to create a FTL communications network during the Dark Age of Technology readapted for baseline human use. Still burns out optic nerves in 98% of all case because humans can’t handle a fire that hot<br>
- However, in order to make such powerful artificial souls you needed a lot of potent warpstuff, which could only be gathered by trawling the deep warp<br>
- As a result, the Iron Minds were essentially at ground zero when Slaanesh was murderfucked into existence<br>
- Iron Minds go full Skynet, Men of Gold go full Event Horizon, start killing everything. Eventually ended up weakening each other to the point that they could be defeated by baseline humanity as well as perhaps a few archaic Men of Iron with bullshit-absorbing crumple zones<br>
- Oscar was the last one on the production line on Cthonia, the old capital of the human empire. Completed physically but mind completely tabula rasa, so he didn’t get corrupted during the Age of Strife<br>

= The Emperor and Isha =

It’s been established that, ironically, despite their disparate origins, Oscar and Isha are almost perfect fit for each other. The Emperor was supposed to be one of many. A Man of Gold network spanning the realms of humanity for not quite instant communication and to act as the go-between and bridge the gap between god-like A.I. and the common man. Isha was one of a Pantheon of her peers whose task, self-appointed or otherwise, was to guide and give direction to the Eldar. Both are relics from broken systems.

Oscar is often deeply lonely over his biological immortality. Isha helps with that. Isha often has PTSD episodes from her time in Nurgle’s garden, having endured tortures that only an immortal being could ever understand. When she does, Oscar is there for her. As an immortal fertility goddess, Isha’s needs are great but simple. Anyone who is not the avatar of a warp god or a Man of Gold would have been killed many times over by now. This may have been one of the reasons why Eldrad married Isha off to Oscar as a form of stability.

Despite originally being a marriage of political convenience, Oscar and Isha have a deep mutual respect and understanding for one another that only two god-like beings devoted to their species could share. Indeed, they possibly do love each other, at least as much as either of them are capable of it, though both of them know that if it came down to it their duty to their people would always come first. They are very thankful that they have not had to make that choice.

Perhaps one of Oscar’s biggest flaws is that he has trouble thinking of himself as a person and of his own needs. This is not leftover Man of Gold programming. Oscar was a blank slate when Malcador found him. Malcador loved Oscar and treated him like a son, but he was also acutely aware of what a Man of Gold could do and was absolutely terrified by the possibility. Oscar was made acutely aware of his artificial nature and the fact that the Men of Gold were meant to serve humanity, not rule it. It seems to have given him a bit of a self-esteem issue. That being said Malcador seems to have kind of gone back on this kind of thinking in his extreme age, based on the “War for Heaven” story.

The fact that Oscar developed the way he did despite being born with literally nothing, not even the base instincts that guide regular humans is part of the overall nobledark theme of this AU. It’s the ultimate argument for nurture over nature, and that people at their heart are fundamentally good, if flawed.

Oscar is a genuinely nice guy, and the type of person who knows exactly what he needs to say to help someone else solve their problems, but he often utterly forgets about his own needs as a person. He sees the way things work, but utterly forgets he is a part of the equation. When Eldrad said Oscar owed him a favor after the WotB, Oscar said "name it", thinking it was going to be something like another great raid on Chaos or some other impossible task. He never expected Eldrad wanted him to get married, because he forgot he was a player in the first place.

Same with the Golden Throne. Oscar constantly did not want to take official charge of the Imperium, because he saw himself as an artificial lifeform that was unfit to rule. The encounter with Sebastian Thor was essentially the Imperium's referendum on what they thought of Oscar. The Imperium had spoken on who they wanted as a leader, and they chose Oscar. Oscar had proved himself time and again an effective leader who at the same time would not abuse his power. So what if Oscar was not born naturally, many in the Imperium were born in-vitro or through other means. It did not matter that Oscar claimed to not be a real person, in their minds he had proven himself as a person, in the only way they felt mattered.

This kind of thing seems harmless at first glance but on occasion has had dire consequences when the Emperor either fails to take responsibility or slips up due to his repressed human desires subconsciously bubbling up to the surface. Like the aforementioned case of the Golden Throne. Or how the Emperor's lasse-faire handling of Ultramar and Titus' Primaris Initiative due to not wanting to be in the spotlight is potentially setting the region up for a civil war. Or when Oscar blew his lid over Lugft Huron due to the latter's policies in Badab hitting his personal sore spots and sent way more troops than necessary to quash the rebellion. Or when the Emperor at first gave Szarekh a lot more opportunity to move than he should have because he was desperate for companionship.

Oscar’s psychological state is getting more inhuman as of M41. With the exceptions of Macha/Isha, Eldrad, Bjorn, and a few others, most of his friends have all passed away, and he is loath to try and make new ones knowing they’ll end up the same. That said, some have still managed to force their way into Oscar’s circle of friends, most notably among the people written so far Sebastian Thor. What’s more, with the exception of Bjorn, all of these surviving friends fall into the “gods and epic heroes” category, something that makes Oscar deeply uncomfortable.

Isha has become a lot more self-confident and canny in the years since her rescue from Nurgle's mansion and subsequent joining to Macha, going from the young mother struggling to find her way in the world to the iron-willed matriarch of an entire galaxy who is willing to make plans and step in to ensure the continuing success of her family, both trueborn and adopted children alike. This is thought to be in part due to selectively absorbing more aggressive personality traits from her avatar Macha. It's agreed that by M41 Macha and Isha are so similar to one another its impossible to tell where one begins and the other ends, but it's still debated in the threads when the two became completely merged into one.

==The Emperor==

The Emperor’s sword isn’t a sword per se. It’s a telekinetic force construct in the shape of the sword that ignites the very air around it through friction burn. Hence why the Emperor can whip it out and put it away while wearing his golden armor without being massively hindered.

===The Emperor's Titles===

For people new to the project, the use of the terms "Oscar", "Warlord", "Steward", and "Emperor", might be a little confusing. So for a bit of clarification...

'''Oscar''' - The Emperor's [[Nobledark_Imperium_Writing#Malcador's_Log|given name]] and the one he considers his personal name. Most people tend not to use it, except for those who know him personally (e.g., Isha, the primarchs, the Custodians) and even then only in private when he's being a regular person and not the Emperor of Mankind.<br>
'''The Warlord''' - The title Oscar adopted during the Unification of Earth. Upon unification he ditched the title and became known as...<br>
'''The Steward''' - Probably Oscar's best known title after "The Emperor of Mankind". After the Fall of Ursh Oscar confiscated an old Dark Age of Technology artifact and set it up as the Golden Throne, and then promptly refused to sit in it. He felt he was not meant to lead mankind (for several reasons, including the fact he felt he was not a real person and Malcador had told him mythologized horror stories of what the other Men of Gold did), he was merely the Steward of mankind until such an individual would arise. Even to this day he still kind of uses the title, signing documents as "Oscar Steward" instead of "Oscar, Steward".<br>
'''The Emperor''' - Eventually, after the Age of Apostasy, Oscar was forced to take up the throne after Sebastian Thor told him to sit on the stupid golden chair or else another Imperial Civil War was going to break out after the ''next'' Emperor he named either went mad or died and caused a succession crisis. Oscar saw his logic and begrudgingly agreed, becoming the Emperor of Mankind.

==What's Isha like?==
Alien motives, incomprehensible intelligence, enormous power, and the feeling of being perceived as less than an insect. The typical report of being in a god's presence.

Not so with Isha. She is the most accessible of gods, as accessible as any power labeled a 'god' can be, often deigning to go among the common folk of Terra, or traveling the Webway when her homesick feelings grow too great. Most reports of meeting her are glowing. Rarely is there any impression given beyond awe struck benevolence.

However, another common thread is the brevity of these meetings. Beyond just feeling brief, they actually are. The great black templar hero Tankred earned the honor of one such meeting, but it was timed at approximately 41 seconds. Tankred would later write he did not feel spurned but he felt she was " needed elsewhere."

Isha has not been front and center in politics. But behind the scenes, she is very busy indeed. Her personal ranger cadre venture the whole of the imperium, found wherever disease and illness reign to return with samples to Isha's sanctum so the goddess might concoct cures. She does not limit herself to ailments of the body either- on occasion, chosen servants of the imperium afflicted by chaos or shattered in mind report feeling the goddess in their thoughts or hearing her words in their dreams. Those she meets in person invariably report a feeling of elation and wholeness afterwards, and typically go on to do good. Not typically becoming extraordinary galactic heroes, but local pillars of the community.

Despite being the galaxy's most overworked and patient social worker, she is still a goddess. Easily forgotten with all of her charity, but brought to a stark reminder when an assassin that was waiting to meet her in a crowd suddenly burst with roots and thorns under her gaze. Described traumatically by all who witnessed it, the screaming elder begged forgiveness even as he was dragged through what was once marble floor as Isha strode by, not sparing a second glance. Her visage then was not the gentle, wise mother's then, but the uncaring gaze of nature, red in tooth and claw.

Isha is also influenced by Macha, once a farseer of Biel- Tan. How much is Macha, and how much is Isha is a mystery for theologians to grapple with. Rumor has her as a daughter of Eldrad (though to be honest cousin is more likely), but then again in Imperial culture, most anything to do with the eldar has conspiracy theorists trying to trace whatever happened back to Eldrad.

Isha sees herself and Oscar as the new Lileath and Asuryan after the Fall. She sees the Imperium itself as her new extended family following the Fall of the Eldar, composed of both her trueborn and adopted (humanity and the rest) children alike and is determined to not let the same mistakes that led to the Fall of the Eldar happen ever again. Asuryan is kind of a broken pedestal for Isha. Asuryan used to make the rules. Those rules prevented the Eldar gods from stepping in and stopping their children from descending into hedonism and debauchery, and directly led to most of the gods getting killed. Particularly her daughter, Lileath, who Asuryan married. Lileath was the first victim of Slaanesh, who subsequently used Lileath's face as a disguise to get the drop on Asuryan and the other Eldar gods by calling a godsmoot. Asuryan isn't around anymore. She won't make the same mistakes he did.

For the exact details of Isha worship among mortals, see [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Eldar_Polytheism|Eldar Polytheism]].

===Macha before Isha===

In the years before the Raid on Nurgle's Mansion, Macha had been depressed. Like really, really depressed. She had once been her aggressive self that people know from vanilla, but that had been gradually overlain by despair as years passed since the Fall and it was clear the Eldar Empire was never coming back. She tried filling the void with Isha worship, Isha being the goddess of healing and theoretically one of the only Eldar gods that could still hear prayers, but it didn't work.

Macha went on the Raid with no expectations. She fully didn't care if she lived or died, she may have even expected to and merely wanted to die in a way in which her death would actually mean something. But then the Raid actually managed to free Isha and bring her back into realspace, and when they made it out of the Webway gate Macha fell to her knees and felt something she hadn't felt in a long time. Hope.

When Isha was brought through the Webway she stood in her full glory for a brief moment before letting out a peal of pure innocent laughter at finally being freed from that fat bastard before vanishing in a flash of light. But then she appeared before Macha. Isha needed a host (she couldn't go back to the Immaterium), and Macha was the best person there in terms of her mindset and openness to the possibility of Isha returning (and being an Isha worshipper, that was also a factor). Macha agreed, and the two basically did a Phoenix Warrior-style fusion dance into the current Isha. This agreement being conducted purely by thought, it took place in the instant between the immaterial Isha vanishing and the new All-Mother arising.

The priesthood of Isha might tell the story of Macha as a morality tale of the importance of keeping faith and hope even in the darkest of hours. Macha's distinctive face tattoos are said to be a symbol of Isha and her priesthood in the modern Imperium.

===Isha's Garden===

Isha keeps a garden (that is, a literal, physical garden, not the metaphorical one that is sometimes mentioned) of plantlife from across the galaxy, either in the Imperial Palace back on Old Earth or aboard the ''Bucephalus''. All of the plants are native species from the homeworlds of the various member states. There are elelasse vines from Shaa-Dome growing around oak trees, flowers descended from the river lotus Por'O M'arc brought as a diplomatic gift from T'au, plants from the homeworld of the Kinebrach, Tarellians, and even a dull grey plant rumored to be a gift from the Watchers of Caliban. She cares for the plants like she would her children. The Shaa-Domean plants are her favorite, but she would be the first to admit that is due to her familiarity and fond memories of them than anything else. Her taste is a little strange sometimes (Cacti? Seriously?), but she manages to make the garden look beautiful, if eerie and alien due to the mix of a hundred biospheres. She mostly tends the garden by hand like a zen exercise. She sows, nurtures, and sometimes, dispassionately, she has to weed.

The comparisons between her garden and the rest of the Imperium are not lost on some. Nor is the fact that with the nature of Isha that garden is the most lethal place for any would-be assassin in the Imperium.

==Reactions to the Marriage==

The marriage happened right after the War of the Beast, so the primarchs had a lot of shit on their plate. Lion was in full on “what I’ve done” mode, Perty was having a mental breakdown, etc. But at the same time you would expect them to have a reaction to what was essentially the biggest political change in recent history.

Angron was dying and Sangy, who would have been the most positive primarch, was dead. Lorgar might have been positive, seeing as at this time he had rationalized Isha as being essentially an archangel sent by God to keep the Eldar on the straight and narrow

Someone suggested Dorn’s reaction. He said they were perfect for each other. But don’t get the “dawws” out yet, because it wasn’t as heartwarming as it sounds on paper. Specifically, he said something along the lines of “she’s weird, you’re weird, you’re perfect for each other” in his typical bluntness. It’s been mentioned Dorn was a proponent of something that was called “psychic apartheid”, though what that is has never been defined (beyond a literal interpretation).

Also keep in mind that this was during the early days of the Imperium, before the Steward and Isha knew each other, and the marriage was very much an arranged marriage in the interest of politics at the time. The Steward would have seen Isha a grand total of once before then, and at that time he was rather more concerned about the Bloodthirster trying to eat his face than making small talk.

The Steward's thoughts when he heard Eldrad's boon were probably along the lines of *what the hell did I get myself into*.

The fact that the Steward had made it clear he was fully intending to step down once a proper Emperor had been found may have alleviated some concerns. Also the fact that Eldrad risked his ass saving the Steward may have won the Eldar some brownie points in the primarch's eyes (though Vulkan would have dismissed it).

One thing that would have really elevated Isha's standing to the human parts of the Imperium would be Isha revitalizing worlds after the War of the Beast.

Orks don't tend to leave habitable worlds in their wake. Anything that was not orkiformed would have been firebombed from orbit. Isha could have taken a lot of those worlds that would have otherwise been written off or taken millennia to restore and have new plant life grow from the ashes, though even with her powers it would be a significant undertaking even for a single planet. This would do a lot to make people more receptive to an alien...what the hell was Isha called before the Emperor took the throne?

The problem is that like the Steward, there is only one Isha. She can't be everywhere at once, something that has been noted before when it comes to curing diseases, solving other problems, and otherwise being extremely overworked.

Lion, if he had time to think about it at all, would have dismissed it all as only right and proper. He was a high functioning autistic and fixated on Franjic fairy stories. When a brave king rescues a fair lady from an den of evil she is supposed to offer him her hand in marriage. Admittedly by then he had long ago seen that the world does not work how it should, but this time it does. Maybe, he would think, there is some small hope left. Then his brother beats him into a coma.

The eldar would have probably initially seen it as Isha taming some fearsome beast-people for use and domestication. The majority of craftworlders of that time would have grown up in the Eldar Empire at it's worst and to have survived would have had to participate at least in some measure of the awfulness.

==Respective Divinity==

I would argue that Isha still made claim to royalty (at very least in title) by divine right (that being her own) even when Oscar was only the Steward. I remember in early threads discussing the marriage we agreed that Isha, and to a lesser extent Ceggorach, would argue that Oscar is a very young god, much to his protestations, and this for his worthiness to lead humanity (as viceroy to Isha’s spiritual rule of the The Eldar). This has absolutely nothing to do with the Old Empire’s belief that the Men of Stone were subservient colonist folk/animals in the Great and Bountiful Human Dominion, and that Iron Minds and Men of Gold were the only children of Sol of any worth, certainly not.

That probably didn’t stop some of the remembrancers brought up under the pre-unification earth doctrine of Holy Human Form and stories that (truthfully) blamed xenos at large for Old Night from depicting her as something like Lady Macbeth when it came to Imperial Court politics in the early years of the marriage.

By M41 I can almost imagine Isha thinks Oscar is a god in denial (inb4 Necoho) and wishes he'd just admit it so everyone can get on with their lives. This might not be entirely selfless, as some of it probably has to do with her missing Kurnous. She also sees herself and Oscar as the new Asuryan and Lileath (which is weird because she's the latter's mother) after the last top gods screwed up.

On the other hand, she does have a point that he's both vastly more powerful than any mortal human or Eldar, and he's also biologically immortal unlike them. Even with the few survivors since the Great Crusade, Eldrad is old as balls but emphatically not immortal (and unusually old even by that standard), Bjorn and Leithon are a dreadnought/wraithguard respectively, Lion is in a coma, and Galadrea and the Handmaidens use cheat codes due to their connection to Isha. He also has access to a lot of power that he's not using as a symbol of the Imperium and hence civilization (indeed he diffused a lot of that by having people direct it towards multiple entities).

Of course, having been around Oscar for 10k years, she probably knows all he'll do is pick the position with the absolute least amount of responsibility and refuse to be budged from it unless the Warp froze over. Heck, he'd probably take Hoec's old job and become the God of Interstellar Communications, despite the fact that he could easily add "Justice", "War" (as in Athena-style, not Ares-style), "Honor", and "Order" to his portfolio.

= Cegorach =

Cegorach’s moral compass is decidedly…off compared to most mortals. He doesn’t like institutions, at best seeing them as some sort of cosmic joke only he is in on. He gets along with the Imperium, but that’s because he likes Isha, the Emperor, and the individuals who run the Imperium. Not the Imperium in and of itself. His loyalty is to individuals, not institutions. He considers the Emperor a gleaming young golden lad that's lucky to have married into the family, but at the same time he’s a little protective of Isha, because she’s the only sibling he has left besides Khaine (and really, who counts Khaine?)

Cegorach doesn’t see the world in terms of good versus evil so much as a form of ethical hedonism. Specifically "how do we make things more fun for as many people as possible?" This is similar, yet very different, to how Slaanesh does things. Slaanesh is all about seeking ever increasing heights of physical sensation. Cegorach is about maximizing the emotional happiness of all things. That said there is a dark side to this. Acts such as horrendous trolling on a cosmic scale get the thumbs up from Cegorach, because it raises universal happiness while the effects of universal unhappiness are short-term.

Cegorach was said to have participated in the drug-fueled orgies of the Old Empire (or something similar, seeing as Asuryan had banned the gods from realspace) before he realized the Eldar Empire was starting to cross lines that they shouldn’t. He pulled away from the self-destructive aspects of the Old Empire, but the fact that he took longer to do so as opposed to entities like Kurnous, Isha, and Vaul who were trying in vain to be a stabilizing influence on the Eldar lends some darkness to him.

Cegorach despite all appearances does not have a plan but he does have an end goal he is working towards and manipulating shit in the direction of. He hates Chaos. Back in the old days they coexisted to an extent and lived and let live. The Eldar Pantheon didn't have to. They were top dog, they could have gone to war against them once upon a time and won but for Asuryan's decree of non-interference.

Non-interference despite Chaos infecting their societies, taking their followers, weakening them, turning their children into monsters. Chaos was given too much tolerance and took even more and then killed almost all of his family, almost all of his people and almost all of his friends.

Cegorach, like Isha, Oscar, Eldrad and Khaine, is playing the long game now. Probably no other being has done as much to stack the deck to bring about Rhana Dandra as much as he has. Indeed, [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#Ahzek Ahriman|quite]] [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#The APEX twins|a lot]] [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#Yvraine|of the potential]] [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#Void Dragon|wild cards]] out there have some sort of backing or connection to Cegorach. Why? Because he would see it all burn and rebuild from the ashes as a phoenix civilization before he willingly let Chaos survive.

He is in favour of the Imperium as it is his best bet of seeing this happen and acts as a good shield for his people and people by adoption although he doesn't believe in the Imperium for the sake of the Imperium. If there weren't so many threats floating around he would happily watch the Imperium collapse and although he wouldn't do anything to stop it he wouldn't do anything to cause it. Although, since the Imperium brings increased happiness and is ever growing, he might actually support the Imperium long-term even without threats. He's weird and can't be predicted.

He was the only other option for being the husband of Isha had Oscar not been available and so for that if nothing he is grateful to Oscar, and he would never call Oscar Emperor. He sees Isha as sister in that they belong to the same order rather than because they are true siblings. Despite this he had no interest in Isha as a partner due to incompatible personalities.

= Imperial History during the Age of Strife =

Quotes for whatever section talks about how well known the conditions on Old Earth prior to Unification are to the average Imperial citizen.

"For the average Imperial citizen outside of Segmentum Solar, the ancient nations of Old Earth from the Unification Wars are long forgotten. Those who are history buffs or lived inside Solar might know these old Terran states. Starting with Horus, he chronicles from the start of unification for the migrant fleets of Sol to the end of the War of The Beast. Some have criticized Horus' Chronical after his death when a few historians noticed the lack of historical accuracy when writing about the Great Crusade."<br>
-Exempt from ''Cultures of Sol 4th Edition'' by Elanoc o Glenth

''"Fulgrim managed to write a lengthy autobiography after his Legion was reduced to just shy of 3 companies in the Iron Cage. Going into great detail about his everyday life, readers are able to especially immerse themselves in his childhood of living in Merika to an eerie amount of degree. Everything after the childhood section of the book is known for being historically inaccurate and turning into the self-gratifying propaganda of later parts in his life."''<br>
P68 of ''Notable Astartes'' by Freja S.T.

''"Vulkan had written one book and several different essays and treatises on many subjects, ranging from philosophy and theology, economics to warfare. One of the few glimpses of the Afrique League did come from when his writing recall certain aspects of life on Warlord Era Terra."''<br>
-Blurb on the back of "The Philosopher-King 2nd Edition" by unknown

''"The few writings from Dorn left after the Great Crusade has only one aspect of ancient Terra. In the tactical notes, the Primarch goes into a full recount of the Calbi military and little else."''<br>
-P52 of ''Notable Astartes'' by Freja S.T

''"Guilliman has his entire family history saved to an audio recording then transcribed to a book. The genealogy writes about members from this nobility starting at the end of the Age of Strife til the end of the Great Crusade. Guilliman also wrote numerous memoirs, books, and thought experiments in addition to his most famous work, the Codex Astartes."''<br>
-Exempt from ''Imperial Houses'' by Sharth o Tenelkan

''"The unique organization and composition of the Iron Hands was initially adopted by Primarch Ferrus Manus during the beginning of the Great Crusade after analysis of combat data proved the efficacy of the Legiones Astartes and the Adeptus Mechanicus' lack of a comparable force. Later, the reforms of the Codex Astartes proposed by Roboute Guilliman were accepted and implemented after calculations showed the chapter structure had great strategic and tactical benefits compared to the more centralized legion structure."''<br>
-- Excerpt from "The First Founding: An Overview of the Legiones Astartes"

== Nation-States of Old Earth ==
Mostly details of the nations not yet mentioned on the main page yet.

'''Terrawatt Clan''' - Home country of Malcador and later the Warlord/Steward/Emperor. One of the most technologically advanced and socially progressive places on Earth, would also be one of the nicest places to live on Earth if it weren't for sharing a border with Ursh. Only place on Earth with rejuvenant treatments and one of the few to have working spaceships.<br>
'''Gredbriton''' - Ruled for many years by the Tyrant of Gredbriton, a Chaos worshipper who had a thing for biological and chemical weaponry. People eventually got fed up with tyrant a few years before the Warlord started making waves and he came down with a bad case of "arsenic-in-tea" syndrome. The Tyrant excluded, the people of Gredbriton weren't that bad and became an important center of trade.<br>
'''Pan-Pacific Empire''' - Second worst place to live on Earth. Led by the "half-mad, half genius" Nathaniel Dume, who had a thing for biotechnology.<br>
'''Hy Braseal''' - Nicest place to live on Earth during the Age of Strife. Borderlands between Merika and Hy Braseal are actually a bunch of nominally independent nation-states that are actually Merikan and Hy Brasealian vassals. Only place on Earth to still retain any form of democracy due to its parliamentary system. Refused to join Imperium after Warlord assimilated their old enemies Orioc and Merika. Warlord let them be, they were one of the few places on Earth where the leaders didn't treat their people like shit and he was willing to wait until they became sensible. Stayed independent all the way up to the War of the Beast, where it got wrecked and the survivors ended up joining the Imperium.<br>
'''Yndonesian Bloc''' - Nasty theocracy led by Cardinal Tang. Was dominated by a splinter sect of Katholianism, Karathanism, which put a huge importance on omens and considered pain as being the only thing of value in life. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Primarchs#Lorgar|Lorgar]] and Kor Phaeron staged a revolt that overthrew Cardinal Tang. After Yndonesia became a benevolent socialist theocracy led by Kor Phaeron. A huge number of the translators and diplomats from the Great Crusade seemed to come from here.<br>
'''The Khanate''' - The former lands of the steppe nomads, now having come together to form a national identity after much prodding from Jaghatai and his associates. Still largely rural, resisted urbanization as long as possible but [[Nobledark_Imperium_Primarchs#Jaghatai_Khan|Jaghatai]] saw the writing on the wall and started setting up colonies of the Khanate off-world. Now almost indistinguishable from any other part of Old Earth.<br>
'''Sibar''' - The frozen north. Once inhabited by tribes of hunter-gatherers, it was conquered by Ursh relatively early in its history. What little remained of the Urshii military fled here after the fall of Ursh, and the Urshii insurgents plagued Imperial forces for decades until the insurgency was put down by [[Nobledark_Imperium_Primarchs#Konrad Curze|Konrad Curze]].<br>
'''Duscht Jemanic''' - The other asshole country of Europe. Part of the Quintuple Alliance that kept Ursh from rolling over the rest of Europe, they chafed at having to ally with others and had their own dreams for domination. Obsessed with genetic purity, and that they don't realize they're walking down the same dark road as their ancestors. One of the last nations to join the Imperium, probably never would have if it were not for [[Nobledark_Imperium_Primarchs#Sanguinius|Sanguinius]].<br>
'''Lichstenstein Vault/Lichstenstein Mountain Fortress''' - The very last nation-state to join the Imperium, along with the Republic of Sammarino. A tiny micronation of just around than 10,000 inhabitants living in a sealed Dark Age Vault that had technologically regressed but held at a sustainable level just slightly shy of the Imperial Standard, they held out the longest by simple virtue of refusing to open the door. The people were insular, isolationist but not overly weird beyond being a race of people living in a nuclear fallout shelter for thousands of years. They had numerous doorways in the mountains with which could be got access to their underground city but they were all single file narrow doors. Any larger door having been intentionally collapsed some time ago.

The only actual avenue of communication they left open with the outside world was a two-way radio located by the main vault door, which is how the Imperium found them. They refused all overtures of opening the door for years, believing the Imperium to be a slightly more clever than average band of techno-barbarians who wanted to loot the vault. Malcador's hobby in his twilight years trying to convince them to open the door. Not using his immense psychic power, because that would be a violation of their minds, but by his voice and just having a chit-chat with them. Eventually they did open the door when one King Under the Mountain who knew no fear reached retirement age and decided to investigate outside once his replacement was installed, believing this was the last way he would be useful and he had no more to offer his people. It still took them years to feel comfortable enough tofully open the door. [[grimdark|About 20-50 years later the War of the Beast started. Oops.]]

It's debatable whether Lichstenstein Vault could have survived the War of the Beast if they hadn't opened the door(the Orks probably wouldn't have left Earth after killing the Steward), but they would have weathered it better than most. On a more positive note the sheer impenetrability of the Lichtenstein Vault meant that they were able to save a lot more civilians from the Beast's forces, most of them being vaulters.<br>
'''The Nordyc/Skand''' - Originally just a confederation of loosely allied clans and tribes, the Warlord convinced them to unify into a cohesive nation. Somehow ended up in control of New Atlantis during Unification.<br>
'''Ursh''' - Total hellhole. For details, see [[Nobledark_Imperium_Drafts#Ursh|Ursh]].<br>
'''The Afrique League''' - One of the nicest places to live pre-Age of Strife. Got absolutely gutted in a war with Ursh circa ~28, with only Timbuk and Nama Gola being the only components worth anything afterward, and the remaining fragments squabbled over by infighting Urshii warlords. Restored to its former glory after the fall of Ursh.<br>
'''Nord Afrik Conclaves''' - Calling them a "nation" is probably a bit generous. Techno-barbarian conclaves that resemble the worst of ancient Rome and Carthage.<br>
'''Orioc''' - Antarctic branch of the Mechanicum.<br>
'''Merika''' - Military junta with state-sponsored capitalism. Claim to be democratic, but in practice their democracy is more like "El Presidente has won re-election in a landslide for the twentieth time in a row". Second or third most powerful nation pre-Imperium, with a more commando-like "quality over quantity" military versus Ursh's technobarbarian hordes. Nowhere near as cohesive as they claim, large parts between the Rockies and Cascades and on the Pacific coast untouchable due to inhospitable terrain and radioactive death zones. Actually not the worst place to live, as long as you don't mind living in a junta. Warlord was going to try to be diplomatic with them, then they started covertly sponsoring the Urshii insurgents. Ironically the quality of life and amount of say the average Merikan has in the government has increased since joining the Imperium.<br>
'''Sino-Japanese Commonwealth''' - Originally inhabited by subsistence farmers, another region to get conquered early on by Ursh. Became the breadbasket of Ursh after they went from being just another empire to one of the largest powers on the planet. Pan-Pacific Empire and Ursh scrapped over this region several times. Ultimately, the revolt by [[Nobledark_Imperium_Primarchs#Corax|Corvus Corax]] established Sino-Japan's independence, and insured that neither empire would control the region.<br>
'''Ind''' - Managed to weather Urshii conquest and occupation rather well. Almost nothing written about it, Honen Mu is suggested as having come from here or Persepotropolis.<br>

The general explanation for any differences in the geography or geopolitical entities of Old Earth between the two timelines (e.g., like Earth still having oceans by the time of Unification) is that the canon Emperor dealt with Ursh by letting it expand as much as possible and then waited to reveal himself until after Ursh inevitably imploded from over-extending. It made it much easier to mop up the pieces, but resulted in massive wars, a huge body count, massive changes across the geo-political map, and the destruction of much of Earth's remaining resources and much of it's remaining technology and historical records [[Just as planned|(the last of which may have been intentional)]]. By contrast, Oscar is much more of a humanitarian, and so he decided to fight Ursh head-on before it became a self-destructive cancer that would have taken much of what was left of Old Earth with it. The fight was a bit harder and bloodier, but it resulted in a lot more of Earth's technology, resources, and culture being preserved (until the Beast showed up, at least).

= Chaos =

One way in which the Chaos Gods corrupt humans in this timeline is by playing off lingering notions of human supremacy. They play on the fears of many humans that it is the Eldar that control the Imperium from the shadows, as evinced by the presence of farseers and Isha in positions of power, and humanity is merely their slaves. The Chaos Gods often claim to be the actual lost gods of humanity, whom the Eldar convinced humanity to turn away from in order to weaken humanity and control them like neutered livestock. This is complete bullshit, Slaanesh being an Eldar creation through and through and the remaining three being Old One gods more than anything else, with human emotions feeding the Chaos gods just as well as almost any other species' emotions (Tau being one of the more notable exceptions). Nevertheless, this explanation is appealing to of human superiority, as well as neatly explains why humanity doesn't seem to have any gods the way the Necrons or the Eldar did (the actual explanation, involving the Men of Gold and the Iron Minds, would be much harder to explain as well as less satisfying for human supremacists, who would rather believe that humanity's gods are powerful and still around instead of having vanished or been mercy killed during the Age of Strife).

== The Chaos Gods and their Daemons ==

=== Khorne ===

Khorne often likes to refer to himself as the <span style='color:red;font-size:100%'>BLOOD KING OF THE GALAXY</span>. If you're groaning at how stupid that sounds, good. That's the point. Khorne's title as <span style='color:red;font-size:100%'>THE BLOOD KING OF THE GALAXY</span> is intentionally silly to parody the number of blood-, skull-, and related silly-sounding names he's often given in regular 40k fluff as well as to emphasize that when you get down to it, Khorne's not really that imaginative. Sure, he can be [[Azariah Kyras|clever]] when he wants to be, but it's not his first instinct. In-universe only Khornates really care for the title, and even when they do use it they tend to drop the "Blood" for the sake of respect. If it ever comes up in interactions between the gods' faithful it would be met with exasperation and groans from the other three sects. If a Khornate wanders into Slaaneshi territory somewhere in Shaa-Dome and gets murderfucked, chances are <span style='color:red;font-size:100%'>BLOOD KING OF THE GALAXY</span> will be written over the body.

==== Khorne and Khaine ====

Khaine’s personality is quite similar to a mortal with bipolar disorder due to his conflicting portfolio that he never really resolved. It’s not actually bipolar disorder as defined by mortals given the massive difference between how gods and mortals work, but the resulting symptoms are close enough as an analogy. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#Khaine|Even when Khaine tried to reign himself in after he got Eldanesh killed]], his behavior was that of someone who is off their meds and is “totally fine. Seriously. Stop asking”, even though he clearly was not. On the one hand you have Khaine the God of War, who is obsessed with the glory and sensation of war and the rush of battle, while Khaine the God of Murder is self-loathing, depressed, and acutely aware of what he is. [[Mork|Or maybe it’s the other way around]], with Khaine the God of Murder being a bloodthirsty savage while Khaine the God of War is more brooding, thoughtful, and aware that violence is not always the correct answer to a question. The difference between the two is kind of like if the Roman and Greek interpretations of Mars/Ares were seen by the same person. Mars may be likeable and more responsible if a bit abrasive and moody, but Ares is just a [[Eldrad|dick]].

Khorne sees Khaine as a flawed first attempt to his later perfection. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#The_Rise_of_Khorne|Khorne was created by combining the essence of Khaine, and Gork and Mork, and all the other war gods of the Children of the Old Ones]]. He is the master of a thousand forms of war from hundreds of species, the essence of war distilled, perfected. Each style can cover for the flaws of another, giving Khorne more strength than the sum of his parts, and none of their component weaknesses ([[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#The_Rise_of_Khorne|The thing]] [[Gork|with the]] [[Mork|mushrooms]] was a fluke. [[Bullshit|Honest]]). The fact that Khaine includes murder in his portfolio is seen as evidence of this.

Khaine sees Khorne as being too full of himself and lacking self-awareness. Yes, Khorne may have stripped himself of all the “impurities” that characterized the other war gods, but he seems to have lost something in the process. He treats war like a grand spectacle, but has lost touch with mortals and completely forgotten about why people go to war (or more importantly why most people try to avoid it). He is completely focused on the glory of war, the slaying of enemies, the winning of accolades, and has completely forgot that war is horrifying to those most who are not immortal, invulnerable, or an ork. Yes, Khaine has murder in his portfolio whereas Khorne technically does not, war is murder, and if you forget that you become as bad as the monsters you’re fighting.

=== Slaanesh ===

On the Slaaneshi condition, Slaaneshi chaos eldar needing to stave of being eaten by feeding slaanesh other souls is already the dark eldar's thing, and they're already explicitly serving chaos. Since Slaanesh is weakened because he has to vie with Isha for eldar souls after death it would even make sense for the prince of pleasure to explicitly offer the sadistic but self preserving dark eldar a deal where they hunt for souls and deliver them and their feelings unto Slaanesh to keep their own incredibly Slaaneshi existence free. They're the dominatrix that Slaanesh pays to bust into your house in the night, loosen up your bum, and drag you to the dungeon.

Eldar worshippers of Slaanesh, the real cultists, are there because they really love the idea of being Slaany's mind bending fucktoy, and a little snuff at the end of a session with the prince/princess is hardly a problem for them. The high echelon of the Slaaneshi cult have been violated and ended in innumerable ways by their master and love, and have done the same to Slaany for their master's pleasure. Because the Slaaneshi chaos eldar have the greatest psychic conceptual influence over Slaanesh and are the most influenced by their god's corruption they essentially become a recursively self-depraving magical realm. Slaanesh and the Slaaneshi eldar love each other and are perfect for each other, and whenever Slaany eats an old favorite it can't help eventually recreating them for more, because it can never get enough.

The Slaaneshi eldar consider the mutability and acausality of the warp the sublimation of the old empire and have made a good run at adapting to it. Some of them have been in the the eye partying since the fall, and claim to have been upon the capital, a layered shellworld engrossed in a great all-spanning orgy, and to have witnessed the birth. Fewer still claim to have taken part in slaanesh's conception, dreaming up the perfect lover that now is their idol, themselves the participants most interested in endless variance of pleasure and perfect beauty, the more self erasing of the parents giddily gobbled up or used to destruction by their child, as they had hoped.

Because they dreamt Slaanesh to be the God of excess that always wants more it can't help but bring back its kinkiest toys and the perfect champions its enjoined ruining by reward though final deadly climax. The pleasure of gobbling up souls, of absolute obliteration, grew insufficient to the prince, as everything must, and the young god was soon inclined by its cult to more subtle perversions.

Likewise, with Isha free the lordess of excess faced the very real prospect of scarcity, even famine, and was made to squirm within its nature much like Nurgle was. Because it's nature was not so based in stasis as Nurgle the shift had a greater significance. Coming to understand differences in kind, where once it could only understand magnitude.

Slaanesh learned the difference between being the god with the most raw warp influence and being the god with the most canny and capable followers, strongest realspace assets and positions, the widest portfolio extendable to the broadest uses of power. Slaanesh learned to be ok with being the little bitch among the four and the wispiest typhoon of madness in the warp because the other gods don't seem to acknowledge the realspace situation as anything more than pieces on the board. Slaanesh understands that it's cult and realspace define and control it as much as the other way around, and acts on this knowledge. Also, while Isha's freedom has fucked with Slaanesh on a material level, her freedom has reopened the fate of the eldar pantheon of which Slaanesh can claim a part, circumventing the deadlock of the great game. If the situation arises Slaanesh might just leave the other Chaos Gods to [[Nurgle|rot]], setting itself up as the devil figure in the new Galactic pantheon by defining itself as the antithesis of the Emperor and Empress.

tl:dr - reasonable Slaanesh is what happens when you make reasonable eldar, and the Imperium is reasonably fucked

Slaanesh likes to present itself as the most reasonable of the Four Chaos Gods, almost in a Luciferian or Sauron-like fashion. Tzeentch constantly rants about "plans", Khorne constantly rants about "blood", and Nurgle constantly rants about "despair", or at least that's what the Slaaneshis would have you believe. Slaanesh tells you this in a calm, impassionate voice, in a form that looks downright normal, trying to convince you that it is the only reasonable option. And then the mask slips and you realize that, no, this one is just as crazy as all the other, because unlike the other four it is capable of hiding it's madness and monomania beneath a veneer of sanity.

Each of the Chaos Gods has their own long term goals. Tzeentch wants to find out what’s in the Well of Eternity and gain ultimate knowledge. Nurgle thinks the galaxy is rotten to the core and has gone on too long as is and wants to burn it all down so it can start over, a la Dark Souls something he may have been infected by when he at his chunk of Malal. Khorne wants ultimate domination over the galaxy, that which had been denied from him ever since Gork and Mork slipped his grasp during the War in Heaven. And Slaanesh, as god/ess of excess, wants to usurp the other three and become the sole Chaos God. And the other three know it. There’s a reason why the other Chaos Gods don’t like Slaanesh very much. Even Tzeentch, the Chaos God who gets along the best with Slaanesh, doesn’t so much like them is consider them “the most easily manipulatable”. As in canon, because Slaanesh is the god of excess, technically all of the things the other three gods do potentially fall under Slaanesh's portfolio and they know it. This is part of reason for Khorne’s unusual degree of restraint around Slaanesh, despite the well-known hatred between them. Although Khorne wants to kill Slaanesh, if he acts on the urge in anger it means he loses all self-control to his excess and Slaanesh wins, and both of them know it.

There’s a dirty little secret behind the origin of Slaanesh. Slaanesh wasn’t originally conceived as a god/ess of pain and pleasure. He/she was originally supposed to be a god/ess of peace, love, and joy. Some of the more sane among the Old Eldar Empire had proposed creating Slaanesh out of a sense of [[High Elves (Warhammer)|noblesse oblige]] to calm the Warp down for the other, non-Webway using races. Others in power liked the idea of a God of Joy, because it meant never having to worry about the collective grief spiral Eldar societies are vulnerable to (essentially never having to come down off their high). Of course, when it was detailed on how one would actually create such a god, the rest of the hedonistic Eldar just heard "make a sex god through lots of sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll, sounds cool", which ruined the whole project. [[Not As Planned|Slaanesh was corrupted from its birth, whatever noble intentions the Eldar might have had in its creation died before it even manifested for the first time and started murdering the rest of their pantheon. Instead of pacifying the Warp, Slaanesh made the Warp worse and galvanized the other three Chaos Gods into action.]]

=== Apep ===

The one and only Daemon Prince of Malal. Pharaoh of Denial.

It is said that in his mortal life, the being who would become Apep was a man who through his own hubris caused the destruction of all that he held dear. But rather than realize his self-inflicted role in this tragedy and accept the consequences of his actions, Apep blamed everyone else, cursing the universe itself for his loss. It was this hatred, and his irrational denial of the fact that he was the cause of own suffering, that drew him to Malal's attention in the first place. The goat-like god came to Apep with a simple offer: "Your old life is gone, there is nothing more for you here. Serve me, and you will have your revenge on the universe".

However, Malal was not the Chaos God he once was. Years of fighting with the four great Ruinous Powers had left him a shadow of the being he once was, and so he had to invest a far greater proportion of his power into Apep. Thus, there could only ever be one daemon prince of Malal. Of course, perhaps this is what Malal intended all along, for if there were more than one Daemon Prince of Malal, one would surely turn on and betray the other.

Despite this, the fact that Malal had to invest so much of his essence into Apep technically makes Apep a god in the flesh, albeit a very pathetic one. As a result, he can't be killed reliably. Oh they've tried. The Grey Knights have killed Apep at least seven times and may have killed it as many as twelve times, the last of which was in 102.M41. After that point the Grey Knights got fed up with Apep and took a page from the Kinebrach, entombing Apep alive in a padded, warded cell on Ganymede. Apep can't come back if he never gets killed in the first place.

I'm imagining Apep as a amorphous and never quite stable cloud of what looks like red and orange sand. It's usually a sort of spider in shape, but mostly because of habit.

Apep's great fuck up that pushed him into the embrace of Chaos was messing around with nano-machines. Possibly his people were one of the early recoveries after the War in Heaven. The nano-bots were salvaged from a Necrontyr tomb.

And that's how the K'nib homeworld was lost.

====Imprisonment====
I'm kinda imagining that there's a ton of weird reverse psychology involved in imprisoning the one Daemon Prince of Malal. Stuff like demanding he leave the vaults of Ganymede and never return, locking him out of his containment cell, and insisting he's the jailor not the prisoner are probably just the start of it. It would probably descend into a level of double negative bullshit like how The Outsider momentarily/eternally became an avatar of Malal by virtue of being the antithesis of Tzeentch, and also by not being Malal.

Oh sweet fucking Jesus that's a beautifully stupid image.

Apep, the one Daemon Prince of Malal, is guarding an empty cell so that it remains empty and because he is free not to.

Also the Outsider is just crazy enough that even if he wasn't the avatar of Malal he would act like Malal to such a great degree that he would be the avatar of Malal by virtue of nobody including both gods involved being able to tell the difference.

This sorry state of affairs would be, I imagine, a source of unending mirth for the Inquisition were it not for the fact that these creatures hopelessly broken as they are are civilization ending disasters waiting for someone to happen to.

Also added to the "List of Thing Inq. Jaq Draco is no Longer Permitted to do on Ganymede" is<br>
>interact with the Prince of Malal

No, no, you see. Apep isn't imprisoned. It's everyone else who's imprisoned. They built a whole prison around the universe, except for one little spot where the guard is supposed to be stationed. It's Apep's job to keep everyone else imprisoned. I mean, if you built four walls to contain an entire universe, [[Grimdark|it must be full of pretty nasty stuff]]. It's a panopticon you see, put the guard in the middle, and nobody looks at the door.

=== Doombreed ===

In this timeline Doombreed is not Genghis Khan, or Atilla the Hun, or any other famous historical conqueror. Here he is the last despot of Ursh, the guy who caused the Imperium so much trouble during the Unification Wars. Having killed more people in the name of mindless slaughter than any other human being on Earth, Khorne found his antics hilarious and raised him as a daemon prince so he could continue doing so for eternity. Raising the person who was such a personal nightmare for the Warlord and many of his primarchs was also a very spiteful move on Khorne’s part, bringing back the person that caused them so much pain.

During the War of the Beast, Doombreed arose and went after the four of the Steward’s primarchs who had caused him so much trouble in life: Magnus the Red, the witch who had stepped out of line and murdered his uncle; Jaghatai Khan, the man who stabbed him in the back; Corvus Corax, the slave who had humiliated him; and Lorgar Aurelian, the man who finally brought him down and swung the sword at his execution. From a combat perspective, as a Khornate Daemon Prince, Doombreed was tailor-made to take down a psyker, a latent psyker, and two warriors who specialized in hit-and-run tactics. The four barely survived Doombreed. However, once they did, they realized that something was up given that such a personal figure from their past had been brought back, and they headed to Old Earth.

Six millennia later, during the Age of Apostasy, the tyranny and cruelty of Goge Vandire brought Doombreed back once more. Magnus, now alone but with two or three divisions of Grey Knights, confronted Doombreed and brought him down. However, the battle was so intense that it ended up causing the Storm of the Emperor’s Wrath and ended up killing Magnus from the exhaustion a short while later.

When Doombreed showed up for the first time, he corrupted a large region of space that was in the process of being integrated into the Imperium. The people in this region eventually ended up becoming the Blood Pact.

It has been suggested that the Helldrakes in this timeline were originally inspired by the Roma, Ursh’s vassal air force. In canon, the Roma were described as having “never touched the ground”, which could be interpreted as them being physically wired into and intermeshed with their planes to some degree. The Chaos Gods took one look at this idea and asked Doombreed “so what do you call this” and Doombreed responded “the Aristocrats!” Of course, the Chaos Gods decided to take this idea up to 11 (like everything Chaos does) by physically fusing the flesh of the pilot into the machine. This would give Chaos a ready supply of Helldrakes from baseline human beings without having to waste precious traitor marines like in canon because there are relatively fewer Fallen.

=== Skarbrand ===

Skarbrand in this timeline was tricked into raise his hand against Khorne by Malal, who sought to use the resulting struggle as a way to escape his status as Khorne's vassal. Unfortunately, Skarbrand found out that while Khorne approves of his followers challenging one another to see who is the strongest, he doesn't approve of the same rules being applied to himself, and Skarbrand got smacked down as per canon. The resulting being, filled with destructive self-hatred and a teamkilling fury that makes him as dangerous to foe and (nominal) friend alike, is exactly what you’d expect of a Khornate daemon with Malalic influences.

=== M'Kar the Thriceborn ===

M'Kar before ascending to daemonhood was one of the Night Lords that was in it just for the shits and giggles instead of Kurze's idea of justice, a real fuck up who ran around the underhives playing mind games on people that drew his attention, distorting their perceptions by means both mundane and exotic, stalking them and appearing only in their peripheral vision, leaving signs of his presence and toying them for a good long while to the point of madness before cutting them up (assuming they don't kill themselves first).

He's been doing this across the Imperium since then, he typically singles people out individually because it amuses him to do so although he can fuck with larger groups if he wants. He is quite a good combatant in a straight up fight as you would expect but it is not his area of expertise.

He's a nutter who thinks the Imperium is the set of his own ever lasting horror-holo and he puts such effort into setting the stage that Tzneetch adopted him and finds his antics quite amusing. Like Ingethel although he is Tzeentchian on paper Slaanesh and Nurgle also supply him with a bit of juice as his antics help fuel them by extension as well. Unlike most Deamon-Princes that arise from The Fallen he has not particular fondness for attacking his old Legion. Not because he has any fondness for them, fuck no, but simply because attacking a bunch of mind-wiped fanatics with limited emotional range isn't as satisfying at going after civilians.

== Crone World Eldar ==

Daemonculaba in this timeline was created by the Crone Eldar to supplement low birth rate. However, don't think humans get out of this so easily just because they aren't eldar. The Crone Eldar have been trying to make a Daemonculaba out of humans for decades. Just because it hasn't worked the last 500 times doesn't mean it's not worth seeing if the 501st time will be different. And even if that doesn't work they get to laugh and jerk off at the spectacle. Win-win as far as they are concerned. Humans are much more numerous than eldar and if the Crones could get a human Daemonculaba working it would be a much more efficient way to breed an army. One thing that might prove to be a problem if the birth of the Impossible Child ends up breaking down the barriers between humans and eldar is the Crones breeding an army of half-eldar cannon fodder out of human Daemonculaba.

Ghastbone is the construction material of choice for the Crone Eldar, and it more or less a variant form of wraithbone. Normal wraithbone is built in such a way that it is “insulated” from external psionic influences. The reasons for this are both functional (insulation improves the conduction of the psychic signal and reduces the external “noise” sent to a wraithguard body from a spirit stone, for example) as well as for safety (it prevents daemons from manifesting and playing havoc with your systems willy nilly). The Crones on the other hand, tend to strip out all the insulating components that keep out external psionic influences or even add amplifying ones, because they want demons to molest them from behind as they work. This tends to give Ghastbone a tattered, frayed appearance compared to the smooth sleek curves of most wraithbone constructed implements, and often makes Crone devices appear much more ratty than they actually are.

All of the Crone Eldar are on the Path to Glory in some form or another. They see the eldar as the chosen race of the gods, demigods in the making that bridge the gap between mortal and divine, whose job it is to spread the worship of Chaos to all of the “lesser” people of the galaxy. The old eldar pantheon was unable to prevent themselves from being slaughtered by the Chaos Gods, thereby proving the validity of the Chaos Gods as objects of worship in their extreme social Darwinist mindset. [[Edgy|They see the worship of the old gods as immature and juvenile, something that they have grown beyond]]. They see their [[Dark Eldar|Dark kin hiding in the depths of Commorragh]] and the exiles who fled the Old Empire to live on [[Craftworld|floating hunks of wraithbone]] or [[Exodite|squatting in savagery]] as having rejected this divine mission placed on them by the gods, and therefore in their eyes they are [[heresy|heretics]].

That said, the Crones are not completely one-dimensional. They do have a consistent internal philosophy, being social darwinists who believe that as demigods in the making they are above good and evil and what is “right” is whatever makes them feel good, the problem is that they’re mostly sadists and hedonists who see everyone else as either [[eldar|here]][[Dark Eldar|tics]] or lesser lifeforms to be used as entertainment, and "whatever feels good" usually involves fulfilling those desires. Their philosophy is just absolutely toxic and completely at odds with…pretty much every other system of living. Tzeentch sums up their philosophy pretty well in “[[Nobledark_Imperium_Writing#Just_As_Planned|Just As Planned]]”: I do what I want, when I want, and I am strong enough that no one can tell me otherwise, therefore putting any kind of restraint on myself is akin to psychosis.

And there is an aspect of tragedy to their existence. Not tragic in the manner of some Miltonian or Byronic figure, they will kill you with an honest-to-the-dark-gods smile on their face and enjoy every minute of it. The tragedy comes more from their situation, kind of [[Nobledark_Imperium_Xenos#Proto-Orks and the Krork|like]] [[Nobledark_Imperium_Writing#The Last Casualties of the War in Heaven|the Orks]] or the [[Dark Eldar]]. The Crone Eldar are born into a society that literally does not allow them to be anything else. Between their upbringing and their intense sense of superiority the Crones have no reason to believe there is any other way to live. Any Crone child who shows signs of mercy, morality, or forgiveness is likely to be weeded of the population by the unforgiving nature of Crone society unless they are really tough in spite of it. From day one they are told “[[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#The_Rant|once the gods loved us. Then some mortals defied the natural order and caused a rift between mortals and the gods and now the gods are only willing to give us tough love.]] But maybe, if we fix the mistake and return Isha to Nurgle’s garden, maybe the gods will love us again”. Which is itself a lie, the Chaos gods were just as terrible to them before the Raid and any claims otherwise are a “just so” story to try and explain why the gods are so terrible like an abuse victim trying to justify their abuse. Crones are essentially born to be damned, if not being damned by proxy by being born in such a Chaos-corrupted society then because the actions necessary to survive in such a society would damn them anyway.

=== Important Individual Croneworlders ===

Note: All these ideas are preliminary, and may be subject to changes (e.g., names)

'''Marshal of The Scions of The Old Helm'''

* Highest ranking figure among Khorne's remnants of the Eldar empire's military, claims authority is descended from the old empire's chain of command
* Access to some of their best surviving large-scale weapons and naval assets from before the fall
* the Marshal holds crone worlds in the eye and is granted warp real estate from Khorne, and has official palaces in the Shah-Dome, but most of its holdings in the shellworld are limited to the outer layers
* the Marshal controlled the backbone of Crone forces and needed to be appeased by Malys at the expense of the other factions until Luther and the fallen became an analogous option

'''High Conservator of The Attendants of Isha'''

* The original High Conservator was a decadent leader of Isha's priesthood that embraced her captivity as a wedding of the generative mother and the eternally preserving father
* welcomed in the garden of Nurgle, the upper priesthood that clung to Isha became immortal, pseudo-deamonic beings that fawned over their 'mother'
* The upper leadership of the Attendants witnessed Isha's rescue and are absolutely dedicated to her recapture
* Other than being patient, implacable, and insanely hard to kill, the Conservator and attendants have a large following in the slums and horrible places of the galaxy
* Their eternal readiness to campaign and their ability to motivate wars makes them useful to Malys, and they have a few powerful leaders, but they have few holdings that aren't warp real estate from Nurgle and weak armies

'''The Indigo Crow''' (or some other esoteric title)

[[Image:Indigo_Crow.jpg|150px|right|thumb|]]

* The preeminent Crone sorcerer and seer, an independent Tzentchian scholar of vast power, not bound to the service of a liege or court
* Able to call on some level of cooperation between the dark academies of warp-lore in the corrupted webway around the eye
* Its unclear if this is a single individual, an assumed title passed between great tzeentchian eldar, or some more unusual entity, but in any case it is the Crones' answer to both Eldrad and Ahriman
* Has incredible supernatural power and knowledge, and is the conduit for much of the Tzeentchian Crones' access to Tzeentch's realm and boons, but little military power
* The way you describe it the changeling and the Indigo Crow seem pretty similar. It's interesting that the Indigo Crow has an somewhat clear identity and MO but doesn't know it's overarching plan, the Changeling has what looks like a long term plan and MO, but no clear original identity, only hints.
* It seems that they can know what they are doing or why they do it but have trouble keeping both in mind at the same time.

It's already been said that the Crow is so mad it needs to read it's own mind to know what it's up to. It might be that when the changeling knows the changeling's plan to usurp the Big Bird it is by necessity not the Indigo Crow, Tzeentch's greatest asset. The Indigo Crow's nature is to not truly know what he's meddling with, but to serve Tzeentch's will regardless, so he only knows his plan when he doesn't know he's the Indigo Crow.

'''Chosen Taskmaster of Slaanesh'''

* The Taskmaster is selected to direct Slaanesh's material domain in the Eye of Terror while the inner circle enjoy the revels
* Holds power over significant portions of the Shah-Dome, including massive habitation, industrial, and technological assets, made even more imposing by direct connection to Slaanesh's palace
* While the Taskmaster has the strongest realspace assets and most readily granted and utilized warp boons, Slaanesh can provide less in terms of raw power and reality distortion.
* The Taskmaster's strategic purpose is to wield the ruins of the eldar empire Slaanesh has claimed to make the prince of pleasure arch-enemy of the Imperium as a means of expanding his influence on the warp, which works well for Malys

'''Malaria, the Living Hive'''

When Isha was freed from Nurgle's mansion, Nurgle no longer had a guinea pig for his experiments, and Malaria offered herself as a substitute. At first Nurgle took her up on that offer, but eventually the Lord of Stagnation eventually realized it just wasn't the same, and gave up on her. To everyone's shock and horror, Malaria actually survived Nurgle's experimentation, but not before she was merged with the [[Typhus|Destroyer Hive]] creating Malaria, the Living Hive.

Malaria is a disgusting creature. Half of her body is covered in hive-like outgrowths, home to growing maggots, rot wasps, daemon flies, and plague gnats. The parts of her body that are not covered in outgrowths, including most of her face save the area around her left eye, look as pristine and flawless as they did the day of the Fall (similar to Norse goddess Hel). However, this is only a veneer of normalcy. Malaria has almost no original tissue left, and if one were to break Malaria in half (as has happened several times), one would see that her insides are nothing more than honeycombs for the insects inside her with a thin veneer of skin on top (and then get stung by a bunch of angry Nurgle bees). She shouldn't even be able to move, having no brain, muscle, or bone, but since when is Chaos ever logical.

Malaria herself does not care. She is in a constant state of pleasure, happiness, and religious ecstasy as insects pupate inside her body, giggling like an innocent child in spite of the horror she leaves in her wake.

=== The Indigo Crow and Tzeentch's Involvement in the Raid on Nurgle's Mansion ===

The scene is roughly mid-to-lateway through the Great Crusade. At this time Eldrad was the nominal leader of the eldar people, mostly because he was the one yelling the loudest during the Fall and helped get a lot of people to safety. However, now that the immediate crisis has passed the eldar are starting to go their separate ways and they won’t listen to Eldrad anymore. Eldrad looks into the future. Sees the eldar fragmenting into feuding Craftworlds that barely talk to each other and get picked off one by one, then picking fights with the rising power of humanity which just left both races crawling in the mud. This was unacceptable. Eldrad refused to see his people degenerate and die. Only people eldar would listen to would be their gods, of whom only one was alive and relatively sane. The seers said rescuing Isha would be impossible. Eldrad never liked that word. Eldrad, being Eldrad, decides to kill two birds with one stone. So he comes up with a plan and goes looking for the leader of humanity.

Meanwhile, in the Warp, Tzeentch was equally unhappy with the current state of affairs. Out of all the Chaos Gods, Tzeentch had profited much less from the Age of Strife than the other three. Nurgle had his new unwilling waifu and was settling in for the long haul in which the galaxy has a long horrible decline into utter hopelessness. Slaanesh had their binge-eating fest where they ate most of the eldar pantheon, as well as their numerous still-living cultists on Shaa-dome. And Khorne, BLOOD KING OF THE GALAXY, was pleased at the constant war breaking out all across his domain. True, the galaxy was divided into innumerable petty empires whose borders changed constantly through low-level war, but the fact remained that Tzeentch benefited much less from the Fall and the Age of Strife than any of the other Chaos Gods. Additionally, this is most likely the point in time in which the other three Chaos Gods ganged up on Tzeentch and destroyed his wand of wonders, since this was after the birth of Slaanesh yet before the Big Four agreed to temporarily stop fighting each other (at least openly) until the Imperium was dealt with. This was no position for the Eldest of the Gods to be in. So he sends his greatest mortal champion to shake things up.

Back in realspace, Eldrad is starting to get desperate. He knows the eldar’s only long-term hope is to free Isha from Nurgle, but scouring all the old tomes he can’t seem to find any reliable way into the realms of Chaos. Then an old friend shows up out of nowhere (really the Indigo Crow who's stolen his friend's face, and when we say stolen his face, we mean [[Chaos|has literally stolen his face]]) and tells him about an all-but-forgotten path through the Webway he "discovered" via forgotten lore that leads right to the foot of Nurgle’s Mansion. Eldrad isn’t stupid, he knows this is suspicious and seemingly too good to be true, but he’s getting desperate. He uses the information.

The Raid happens. The Raid on Nurgle’s Mansion was still a hail Mary, but it turned what should have been a suicide mission into “merely” a million-to-one chance. Tzeentch’s involvement was just the reason why the raiding party wasn’t jumped by 887 Bloodthirsters as soon as they entered the warp and insta-gibbed. Tzeentch managed to convince the other two Chaos Gods to chip in. Khorne, BLOOD KING OF THE GALAXY, is apathetic to the power struggle, until Tzeentch explains possibilities for conflict should he succeed. Slaanesh already wants Isha, especially taking her from a fellow Chaos God, and is positively giddy there's a Man of Gold up for grabs. Tzeentch's agent would execute the ploy, Khorne's might would to stay Nurgle's reaction, and Slaanesh's seekers were to go catch Isha and bring her back before them. Tzeentch’s real plan was to let the mortals free Isha from Nurgle’s grasp before capturing both Isha and the members of the raiding party (including the last Man of Gold) in one fell swoop, using them as bargaining chips to constantly stir the pot of conflict between the Chaos gods causing constant change and preventing any of the other three from becoming too powerful. [[Not As Planned|None of this happened correctly]].

First off, while Tzeentch had been planning to stall the other gods as much as he could, he almost didn’t need to. Khorne didn’t need an excuse to wreck someone else’s shit, and led his forces on a merry rampage through Nurgle’s garden. Arrotyr is still a flaming anti-Isha fanatic and fucks his part of the operation sideways by opening fire on the other gods' assets before dismissing the task as unfit for his involvement and leaving to take potshots at Nurgle while the Blood King gave him the ax. Slaanesh almost immediately tries to screw the other three over and take Isha for itself, but the force of Keepers of Secrets that were supposed to take out the Steward is intercepted by Tzeentch's own kidnapping force stepping in so Slaanesh can’t just abscond with the prize (because they would eat it, thus running the entire endeavor). The Taskmaster is supposed to be organizing the real-space attack on wherever the portal was, which he half assed, but gladly used as an excuse to expand the Slaaneshi naval presence over Shaa-Dome and around the Eye. Meanwhile, the mortals had slipped into the realm of Chaos relatively unannounced, oblivious to the god war going on in their midst, and had grabbed Isha. Eldrad had realized almost immediately it was a trap and figured that the best way to get out of a trap is [[Alpha Legion|to play along and make your enemy think you had taken the bait until the last second]]. Eldrad, Oscar, and co. weren't supposed to survive their little trip into the Realm of Chaos. They did, against all odds. When you lay a trap, the mouse isn't supposed to make off with the cheese.

What was once a relatively organized plan now broke down into a free-for-all as the squabbling gods realized exactly what was at stake and that the mortals had a very real chance of making off with the prize. The mortals, meanwhile, are running for the portal like the legions of hell are on their heels, which to be frank they kind of are. Against all odds, they managed to make it out.

No matter, for the Indigo Crow although Plan A was a bust, it was time for Plan B. Plan A was the raid fails. Chaos now has the last surviving Man of Gold, the Phoenix Lords and a bunch of literally who humans to [[Rape|play with for ever and ever and ever]]. Also the Craftworlds start to get desperate and more of them fall to Chaos. No large scale civilized galactic society forms and Chaos gets to treat the galaxy as their playground. Good for Chaos overall, including him and his master. Plan B was that even in the unlikely event that the mortals would actual succeed Nurgle still loses Isha and Tzeentch fucking hates Nurgle. Also the upset in the Great Game means change and influence peddling time on a greater scale. Good for him and his master. Also if this alliance between human and eldar sticks and forms The Imperium then he, and by extension Tzeentch, have influence on highest members of its society who will personally owe him a big favour. From his point of view the game was rigged so he couldn't lose.

It looked like "[[Just As Planned]]" time too. [[Not As Planned|Then Eldrad tried to shank him because Eldrad wasn't a fucking fool and knew what games the Indigo Crow as playing]]. Crow escaped because Crow always expects to be stabbed in the back as part of his job and has got very adept at knowing when to cut losses and bolt for the horizon. Tzeentch wasn't happy about his favorite pawn's failure.

Overall, Tzeentch’s involvement in the raid was a combination of the time-old tale of “[[Just As Planned|trickster god tries to pull off something audacious]] (like steal fire from the gods, or all the knowledge in the world), [[Not As Planned|only for it to blow up in their face due to their own hubris]]”, combined with an unlikely event of unexpected success that nevertheless had massive repercussions for the rest of history (e.g., assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand). The Chaos Gods were so fixated on playing the Great Game that they didn’t realize the mortals could become a problem until it was too late.

''‘A Ring of Power looks after itself, Frodo. It may slip off treacherously, but its keeper never abandons it. At most he plays with the idea of handing it on to someone else’s care - and that only at an early stage, when it first begins to grip. But as far as I know Bilbo alone in history has ever gone beyond playing, and really done it. He needed all my help, too. And even so he would never have just forsaken it, or cast it aside. It was not Gollum, Frodo, but the Ring itself that decided things. The Ring left him.’ ‘What, just in time to meet Bilbo?’ said Frodo. ‘Wouldn’t an Orc have suited it better?’''

''‘It is no laughing matter,’ said Gandalf. ‘Not for you. It was the strangest event in the whole history of the Ring so far: Bilbo’s arrival just at that time, and putting his hand on it, blindly, in the dark. ‘There was more than one power at work, Frodo. The Ring was trying to get back to its master. It had slipped from Isildur’s hand and betrayed him; then when a chance came it caught poor Déagol, and he was murdered; and after that Gollum, and it had devoured him. It could make no further use of him: he was too small and mean; and as long as it stayed with him he would never leave his deep pool again. So now, when its master was awake once more and sending out his dark thought from Mirkwood, it abandoned Gollum. Only to be picked up by the most unlikely person imaginable: Bilbo from the Shire!''

''‘Behind that there was something else at work, beyond any design of the Ring-maker. I can put it no plainer than by saying that Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, and not by its maker. In which case you also were meant to have it. And that maybe an encouraging thought.’ -J.R.R. Tolkien''

''Oft does evil hurt itself - J.R.R. Tolkien''

=== Tzeentchian Webway Academies ===

Part of the high concept of the Tzeentchian Croneworlders is a parody of ivory-tower intellectualism and incomprehensible philosophy, especially postmodernism/deconstructionism. Trying to communicate in academia is often an exercise in frustration, as professors and officials all have private languages and even once those are deciphered their conversation is still generally incomprehensible, consisting of obscure referents to that University's unique conception of metaphysics. That is, of course, assuming they haven't decided their old language was hopelessly obsolete, and are currently in the middle of trying to make a new one. Except in the case of Tzeentchian Crones using charades and/or assassinations, because they don't have a language at the moment. Or that they haven't proven that whatever language they use is the only language that can exist, and everything else is meaningless babble by animals that just happen to look like people. Or that they acknowledge the existence of existence at all.

Overall they are quite Schopenhauer-esque, this school of thought being famous its incomprehensible drivel and fits better with the setting. It also provides a contrast with [[Sortarius|canon Prospero and it's organization]] since the Crones are marginally more organized than Chaos Space Marines and therefore tend towards competing Platonic or Pythagorean academies with long, illustrious traditions instead of sorceror covens.

===Changelings===
I'd been thinking we needed to do something with the Tzeentchian changeling, Crones giving their own children mutagenic modifications and slipping them into Imperial world and Exodite Eldar populations. Most probably go full technicolor teleporting Eversor before they reach adulthood, and the few changelings that hold it together become some of the most unpredictable malignant actors in Imperial space.

One thing is that Crones, in the Shaa-Dome at least, seem to do decently to well maintaining a population the old fashion way. Just with high rates of childhood attrition from [Information purged for the benefit of readers], but even that is made up for by their enthusiasm at reproduction.

At very least they probably wouldn't be too picky about genetic stock for such a project, and the project itself would be more to the benefit of the Scions, Witch halls, and the Attendants. That is to say, the Slaaneshi Crones have enough of a breeding program as is that the Daemonculaba would probably be a project put together by some mix Arrotyr, Nimina, or the Crow's forces, and the Slaaneshies get to just watch, fap, and giggle at the competition.

Doesn't even have to be little girls. It could be any Eldar female the Crones are able to get their hands on. Infiltrators work just as well when your loving wife turns out to have been replaced by an extradimensional horror and rips your face off.

The only issue would be detection. Eldar in canon have the technology to detect genestealers, so it's possible they would psychically notice their children/wives/sisters have been replaced by impostors. But then again this is the Cronedar. If anyone knows how to fool Eldar psychic senses, it's them.

===='The' Changeling====
Changeling may or may not be a double agent.

Ceggers brags that he once made it all the way through the Crystal Labyrinth and the Tzneetian deamon will attest that a small girl and a scruffy looking black dog did indeed once manage to get all the way to the Well of Eternity at the center despite all the cunning traps and riddles along the way.

It is always assumed that Ceggers was dressed up as a little girl because he is the sort of person who will do that sort of thing for a laugh.

But people always forget that there were two of them. Who was the dog? Was it Changeling? Was Changeling the little girls and Ceggers the dog just going along for the ride in heavy disguise?

Changeling doesn't know what it's true form is anymore and one of the things Tzneetch promises is that he will tell him what it is one day but why would a god need to do so? It could be that Changeling was not always of Tzneetch but was one of Cegger's creations back in the old days adopted by Big Bird after The Fall in exchange for protection from Slaanesh.

If that is the case then Tzneetch might also not know and is possibly going to use the Changeling as a bargaining chip at some point with Slaanesh should there be an advantage to do so in which case it won't matter.

But if it is a deamon of Big Bird rather than Cegger it would explain why it knew the way through the maze, but not why it was helping the Cosmic Jester. Unless it's playing the long game, throwing it's lot in with the King of Clowns because it hates it's master and finding a new patron in the same way that other deamons serve the Soul Forge.

Are the Mandraks connected to Changeling? Who can say.

One thing and one thing only for certain, Tzneetch was not happy that something saw what was at the heart of his maze. Not happy at all.

=====What the fuck=====
this one is really only a problem for people so deep in sorcery that there's really no helping them, but if you can shapeshift DO NOT take on the form of the Indigo Crow. His form is his function is his thoughts, so you just straight up become the Indigo Crow, and he might by some strange law of transposition briefly become you, with all your thoughts and soul, etc.

The act of the Indigo Crow shapeshifting makes it the Changeling, and since the Indigo Crow is you at this point, and you are the Indigo Crow, shapeshifted, and so also the Changeling, the changeling briefly exists at two places at once. Because one of the Changelings is the Indigo Crow it cannot be the Changeling, and the whole superimposition of contradictory states collapses into one thing that is the Indigo Crow and something else that has forgotten itself from the universe, form soon transforming into nothing to fit their forgotten identity.

More than a few cheeky Daemon Breakers and ambitious Crones have winked out of existence in this manner, and its not clear if the Crow even knows about this phenomenon.

=== The Old Eldar Empire ===

Surprisingly, the inhabitants of the Old Eldar Empire weren't always depraved and horrible people. The eldar didn’t emerge from the Webway after the War in Heaven and immediately go, “well, the [[Old Ones|old bosses]] are gone, time to snort hookers, do blow, and murderfuck us a new god. At first they were actually good and reasonable people, trying to do right and hew to what they thought the Old Ones wanted. This can be seen in the fact that the eldar actually left Earth and many of the Old Ones’ other laboratory worlds alone, when they could easily colonized it when the ancestors of humans were little more than squirrels. [[High_Elves|For many years the old eldar Empire actually protected the galaxy from destabilizing threats]] like the Cythor Fiends.

[[Dark Elves (Warhammer)|Then started the slow slide into decadence]], a death of a thousand cuts made from decisions that seemed quite reasonable at the time. The democratic council of equals became a kratocracy with an nominal autocrat split into feuding noble houses. They picked a fight with their old allies the Hrud. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Xenos#Ilmaea|They stopped the imperialistic aspirations of one would be conquering species much as they had before only this time they stole their suns and condemned them to a slow, agonizing death out of spite]]. They started doing drugs and seeing other species less as people and more as toys.

By the time humanity first started expanding into the stars, the eldar had virtually turned their back on the outside world and cared only about looking inward. For most the Dark Age of Technology humanity only knew of the eldar as “that inscrutable, isolationistic, highly advanced race that rarely if ever cares about anything outside its borders” except on the rare occasions in which they wanted to expand and bloody wars were fought. Then as the rise in influence of the pleasure cults grew, the eldar went from uncaring to outright malevolent, actively snatching victims from beyond their borders to satisfy their twisted whims. Thankfully by this point humanity and the other members of the Interstellar League were strong enough to repel such raiding incursions, though if the Old Eldar Empire had actually cared enough to put their mind to it they could’ve wiped us all out. That said, diplomatic channels didn’t dry up all at once. The eldar almost never allowed mon-keigh into their territory, but during times of peace you very rarely saw eldar (especially young eldar) in the GaB Human Dominion. Eldrad toured around the Dominion for the eldar equivalent of spring break in Cancun, but he barely remembers any of it.

And, of course, the depravity of the late empire [[Slaanesh|and what it led to]] is well-known.

Humanity and eldar both claim to have dominated the galaxy during the Dark Age of Technology, and to some degree the claims of both groups have merit. In terms of sheer space humans and their alien allies certainly occupied more planets, whereas from the human persepective the Eldar Empire appeared to consist of a few scattered, heavily-defended enclaves linked through the Webway. However from the Eldar perspective the Eldar had already chosen the best planets to live on, whereas the rest of the galaxy lived on the other 95% of planets that they didn't feel worth colonizing. Eldar planets were essentially all linked via the Webway, meaning the Old Eldar Empire was in effect one giant city and reinforcements could literally walk from planet to planet. For any invasion to succeed you either had to have the strength to take on the entire Eldar Empire at the same time or somehow cut the planet off from the Webway. Invading human worlds, on the other hand, was like kicking a hornet's nest, as the system's local Man of Gold and Iron Minds remotely activated and linked all pieces of human-built technology for the sole purpose of expelling the intruders.

The Senate of the Old Empire were protected by a praetorian Phoenix Guard, who were empowered by a fragment of Asuryan much in the same way that the Harlequins are empowered by a fragment of Cegorach and the Handmaidens are powered by a fragment of Isha. Asuryan created the Phoenix Guard through a loophole in his own decree when it became clear the eldar needed more direct intervention to maintain stability, Asuryan said no direct interaction with mortals, he said nothing about supercharging mortals with chunks of your power from across the veil. Asuryan wasn’t too happy about it, he expected his laws to be obeyed to the letter without question or criticism and then gets salty when they are obeyed exactly as far as the letter or actively hamper what needs to be done, and he was too proud to change things because that would require admitting he didn’t write a perfect law in the first place. Unfortunately, because he was still only indirectly interacting with them it meant they were in no position to stop the birth of Slaanesh.

One of the main purposes of the Phoenix Guard aside from protecting the Eldar Senate from outside threats was to maintain order in the Senate by keeping its members from openly trying to murder each other, as well as stop the super-psykers among them from simply trying to take what they wanted by brainwashing everyone else. Given that they were a semi-monastic order sworn to serve the eldar pantheon’s top god and therefore relatively independent of the power struggles and were gifted with the ability to shrug off mind control, this made them marginally more reliable than the actual Roman Praetorian Guard. At least in the late empire. At first they were probably just as noble they claimed.

==== The Many Atrocities of the Last Days of the Eldar Empire ====

*There was a certain drug that, when consumed by an Eldar, briefly boosted the user's telepathic abilities while also forcing the user's body to slowly crystallize into an array of other drugs. The exact effects and potency depended heavily on the physical qualities and mental state of the user over the course of the transformation; therefore, the lords of the Empire kept 'Eldar farms' where slaves were force-fed the catalyst-drug while carefully kept in certain states of mind. The most potent mixes (although subject to personal taste) were often considered to come from newborn infants, kept in a state of terror and confusion through the entirety of their short lives. The children's mothers were often forced to witness the slow deaths and subsequent consumption of their babies; this did nothing for the quality of the drug, and was done exclusively for the sake of assholery.
*Billions if not trillions of members of various alien species were kept as slaves. Many Eldar took to breeding specific varieties of slave-species, much as humans breed specific varieties of horse and dog. Although initially this was for practical purposes, aesthetic values quickly took precedence, and most of the slaves of the late-stage empire suffered from multiple types of deformity, features deemed 'aesthetic' becoming grotesquely exaggerated over generations. Of course even this was not enough, and for many Eldar slave-breeders deformity and defect became an end-goal rather than side-effect, engaging in perverse competitions with each other to see how many genetic defects one individual could have and still produce offspring.
*It was the fashion for Eldar nobles to show off the skill and obedience of their slaves by having one prepare him, her, or itself for dinner. The exact procedure varied according to physiology, but the general outline remained the same. First, surgical sorceries were layered upon the slave to allow him to continue functioning despite massive blood loss and organ trauma. Then, preparation would begin; the slave would skin himself, flense his muscles, and remove his own organs to provide the meat for the meal. Then, the slave would cook his own tissues, a process that often took days given late Empire cuisine, every moment sending jolts of agony through exposed nerves. Then, the slave would serve his master and guests; finally, the slave would crack open his skull or closest equivalent, offering his brain-meats to the master as the final course. If the slave had performed sufficiently flawless, the master would honor him by consuming the brain, finally killing the slave; otherwise, hideous tortures awaited, often with the participation of the guests as apology for subpar service.
*There were artisans, bone carvers, who would make their works from the bones of the living, often surgically and sorcerously fusing four to thirty slaves together to ensure there was a large enough lump of bone to carve.
*In many noble families of the Eldar Empire, it was a tradition to initiate a child into adulthood with incestuous torture, often with prayers to Isha for a child to result from the various couplings. In some families, those children of incest, twisted by the sorcery used in the torture that conceived them, started an honored line of breeding. In others, they became the centerpiece of a feast to celebrate their parents.

==== Eldar "Robots" ====

Despite having a sixty six million year head start over humanity, the eldar never really made widespread use of advanced self-aware artificial intelligence like the Men of Iron and the Iron Minds, mostly because they really didn’t need them. Eldar “robots” such as they were, were more like automata the eldar puppeted with their mind to do work while the actual body lazed around and engaged in hedonism. The bulk of Old Empire armies tended to be composed of these constructs supplemented by flesh and blood forces. The Men of Iron and Iron Minds actually sneered at the eldar over this, saying unlike the eldar’s creations they were partners with humanity and at least their creators had the balls to give them free will. A lot of this was bravado, for despite being a lot more intelligent than their eldar counterparts the Men of Iron and the eldar’s robots were at best evenly matched one-on-one due to the Old Eldar Empire having about sixty six million years of research and development on the Men of Iron.

After the Fall, robotics generally just fell out of use among the eldar, Exodites and Craftworlders didn’t use them because the amount of leisure time their use created is the kind of thing that led to the Fall in the first place, and most Dark Eldar don’t have the psychic juice to power them anymore. The Dark Eldar do use more advanced constructs like Pain Engines, however. However, the shells used to make the puppets were used to make the first wraithguards, modifying them for use as a whole-body prosthetic for a single soul instead of a projected handpuppet for a corporeal body. Indeed, just like how Imperial Knights were originally designed as megafauna busters and Terminator armor are weaponized hazard suits, most modern Eldar technology is civilian-grade stuff repurposed for a lower tech level. The actual military equipment of the Old Eldar Empire are mostly located in the Crone Worlds, much of which was either damaged by the Fall or fell into disrepair during the five thousand years the Crone Eldar spent fighting and fornicating one another in the Eye. The biggest collection of what remains of actually working Old Empire military equipment is monopolized by Arrotyr.

This is also the reason why the Craftworld/Exodite eldar despite being a part of the Imperium for more than ten thousand years never tried to use their influence to reverse the stigma on artificial intelligence (though it should be noted that building A.I. is technically not one of the Rules and exists in kind of a gray area). It didn’t hinder the eldar or their way of life, so they didn’t feel much of a need to complain about it. Additionally, they saw the status of self-aware A.I. and the Men of Iron as an internal concern of humanity, and so mostly deferred to humanity on how to deal with A.I. because humanity would know more about how to deal with their creations than the eldar would.

== Fallen ==

=== Murder-Class Cruisers and other Fallen warships ===

There is an in-universe explanation for the human forces of Chaos having vessels that function as Ironclads to the Imperium's Frigates, and while "Cronedar did it" is an easy explanation, it probably shouldn't be a universal one. For instance, having the Hellbringer-class ships be essentially vessels that fell to Chaos and got pimped out with Cronedar scraps, making them fast and hard-hitting raiders that are rather fragile due to being patch-jobs, is something that makes sense. However, its unlikely the Traitor Marines and any humans who didn't get their brains melted when they turned would be willing to rely completely on the Cronedar for ships.

Enter the Murder-class Cruiser, mainstay of the non-Cronedar forces of Chaos, and the first instance on the scale of ship-class that follows the design theme of the Ironclads- it's slow and somewhat difficult to perform complex maneuvers in, but makes up for it with a damn-tough hide that even armor-piercing weaponry can take time to cut through.

As for how they came about in the first place, well, the short of it is that they were initially a project undertaken by a sect of the Mechanicus in the pursuit of finding a way to recreate Neutronium. The theories were sound, and along the lines of "Stuff is easier to assemble underwater or in a vacuum because you don't have to fight gravity as much." See, the biggest hurdle to recreating Neutronium is that the laws of physics seem to say it's impossible.

Enter Port Nautilus. Yes, they had the brilliant idea of trying to build a dry-dock to build ships inside the Warp. Yes, that went about the way you'd expect it to. No, this was not okayed by the higher-ups in the Mechanicus, who would have shut it down the second they'd realized the new ship-dock was built to enter the Warp (because that's TECH-HERESY! Oh right, and because the warp is bad too I guess but mostly TECH-HERESY!)

At first they were just one of the groups of Cogboys who had grown up on their own world, then been forced to bow to Mars when the Imperium showed up. Their theories on Neutronium may have even held merit- it's not too unlikely that the DAoT humans were using warp-tech to produce impossible materials, and the Warp was a lot calmer back then so they didn't have to deal with everything warp-related immediately becoming daemons.

Indeed, it certainly explains a lot about Savlar if the production of Neutronium requires Warp machinery. Humanity and the Iron Minds were more than willing to use Warp machinery to build things (see the Men of Gold). Any improperly shielded core of Warpstuff would start leaking and having a gradual effect on the surrounding area, much like a nuclear plant leaking radiation. Indeed, that’s exactly what happened to Caliban. It also explains at least part of why the Savlar Order are so hostilely against anyone coming in- there's both risk of contamination, and a risk of somebody freaking out when they discover exactly what's being used to forge all this neutronium. That and Savlar is their home, all they have and all they hold dear and as much as they love it they will see it dead before defiled and they really don't like Mars.
(DM note- could be a forge that's somehow situated in the warp, some post-age of strife kludge that uses psychic/AI DAoT cybernetic tools, something more exotic like an arteficial Waagh! field or Necron derived physics tweaking, or a combination of all of the above.)

It’s also interesting to note that the Savlar Order is one of the few Mechanicus-esque orders to acknowledge any kind of small gods. All of the other Mechanicus sects are either monotheist or pantheist with the pantheists seeing the universe and the Omnissiah as one and the same and all other gods as either unworthy of consideration of phantoms that will draw you to damnation. All except the Savlar Brotherhood who seem to at least acknowledge and respect the Small Gods even if they don't actually worship them in any way. This could be just cultural bleed from the savages beyond their gates but they don't typically mingle with them and absolutely do not recruit from outside their walls.

Of course that's only speculation, and right now anything warp-related DOES become daemons, so even if the heretek Mechanicus sect of Port Nautilus were right and the production of Neutronium does require warp-shenanigans, the risks are too great. Also, resentment from how Mars came in and started acting like snobbish assholes and shutting down things that they'd been working on for decades may or may not have contributed to them not sharing everything about their theories with Mars- to the Mechanicum, it was known that they were somewhat obsessed with Neutronium and finding ways to reproduce it, but that their intended methods involved dipping into the Warp to circumvent the Laws of Physics wasn't apparent until it was too late.

I imagine the leader of the cult pulling off an impressive false-flag operation against the Mechanicus by playing up the Neutronium obsession thing by directing constant demands for access to something Neutronium-related, like access to Salvar or something on Mars related to Neutronium, and really being a total obnoxious asshole to the point where when one of his underlings approached Mars with a proposition for them to get assigned to go build a couple of cruisers in bum-fuck nowhere to give his boss a chance to cool down and focus on something else, it was almost immediately accepted as an excuse to not have to deal with him anymore. This is also why it took so long for their to be an in-depth analysis of the shipyard the sect was building- inspection crews didn't want to hang out any longer than they needed to.

Of course, nothing about the components of the shipyard itself were technically techno-heresy- organized in a strangely inefficient manner, yes, but all according to the sanctions of Mars. Maybe the assembly areas for the Cruiser's Warp-drives are a bit disorganized, and they're going to have to cut out some new doors to fit the drives back out again, the the drives themselves are being constructed in complete compliance of the rulings of Mars.

Then on the way back from one such inspection, a younger acolyte who got dragged along on principle rather than because he was needed asks if having the Warp-drives running and plugged into the dockyard is to placate the machine spirits.

The inspection crew charges back, then goes dark. The honchos back at Mars take the message the crew had sent before heading back and look back over their previous reports with actual scrutiny, and realize there's some serious tech-heresy at play, and immediately launch a fleet to stop them from making new things. Imperium picks up on the chatter and outrage among the cogboys, get a general gist of the situation, and launch their own fleet because "HOLY SHIT THEY'RE STICKING THEIR DICKS IN THE WARP THIS CAN ONLY END BADLY."

When they arrive, the dockyards are already in the process of charging up their warp-drives to go deeper into the warp that the metaphorical toe-dipping they'd been doing for construction purposes. There's also several warships of almost-but-not-quite imperial design around it, as well as the first completed cruiser produced by the dockyards. Turns out their little project caught the attention of Luther, who is very enthusiastic about the possibility of getting a source of ships that are not only more advanced than the Imperium's, but are produced by honest humans rather than filthy xenos. The fleet holds the Imperials and Mechanicus at bay long enough for the dock to make the jump and escape into the warp.

Now, after who-knows-how-long stuck inside the warp, the cogboys of the dock aren't exactly normal anymore- you don't stay in the warp that long without getting changed one degree or another. However, they can still get mistaken for normal cogboys at a distance.

Part of this is because Luther guards them jealously- any particularly-ambitious daemons looking to have some fun with the sillly shipbuilders tends to find itself getting violently and messily dissuaded from the idea. Not that the cogboys don't interact with and even try to use or work with daemons, but anything that might interfere with their ability to produce ships has to get through a bunch of Traitor Marines whose daemons are usually bigger than theirs.

The other factor is that the cogboys have gone from interest to single-minded obsession with rediscovering the secret to producing Neutronium. They are quite happy to keep pumping out ships as fast as they get supplied the materials they require, because each ship is a chance to tweak the formula a little, try a new mix of Iron and Daemon-claws, get just that one step closer to unlocking the secret to that elusive alloy.

== Davinite Lodges ==

In this timeline the Davinite lodges never really caught on among the Astartes Legions. Davin would not be a shock or surprise to the Legions as they all knew about Chaos, knew what signs to look for and knew how it could really fuck you up in both the long and short term (especially given that Davin was discovered after the Interex and therefore after the Interex and Eldar had treated the Imperium to Chaos 101). Chaos education, though this would be before Lorgar wrote his best seller, was still mandatory for the members of the expeditionary fleets. Also as the structure of the Legions was a lot looser and it was a job rather than a thing you devoted every fibre of your being to at the exception of all else 24/7 every day of the year the Legionaries didn't need the Ledges to blow off steam. They had time off as mandatory to help them stay sane and grounded in the Imperial society that they were helping to build. Writing letters home was a most common activity in The Legions.

To that end Davin was subjugated as quickly as in Vanilla by a mixed force of mostly Word Bearers but under the command of Horus because Horus had the ships and had to be somewhere. This time there was greater effort put in to weeding out the corruption of Chaos because the Imperium was all about finding and uplifting rather than finding and subjugating. Also Horus never goes down to the surface of Davin because he needs a full body harness to walk for any length of time under 1G conditions and as a Void Born he never really saw the point in planets.

Eugen Temba, friend of Horus and extremely competent Administratum specialist who had been training for this sort of think since he was 12, became first Governor of Davin in wake of the conquest. He oversaw the gradual uplifting of the planet, the archaeological expeditions of the ruined cities of the GaBHD (found nothing of any real value) all the while assisting as best he could with the continued war against the inhabitants of the moon/twin planet that was entrenched Nurgle territory. A few years before the War of the Beast the war against the people of Davin-mun (Eugen Temba couldn't into names for shit and every tribe of locals had a different name for the bloody thing). Both Davin and Davin-mun by 999M41 are classed as agri-worlds.

The Davinite lodges of the modern day are descended from the old Davinite Chaos Worshipers that, by the grace of their gods, escaped Eugen's purges. They are a constant thorn in the side of any Imperial organization in the Segmentum Pacificus or Interex Space, made even more annoying by the fact that they have a cell-like structure and through trial and error have learned to survive being cracked down on. They don't specifically target Astartes but welcome just about anyone, most of the Chaos kinebrach tend to end up here. They are, in essence, cults that teach people how to start cults. On their own, they wouldn't be too noteworthy, but they act as facilitators and organizers for other cults. They know how to do this shit and for a small fee or even for free will teach you. During Black Crusades they end up as intermediaries coordinating logistics between different cults for maximum damage. Post-Black Crusades, Davinite lodges are one of the major purveyors of Blood Pact surplus to the far corners of the galaxy, dealing in whatever they can take from post Black Crusade mop-up operations, caches, and if they're really lucky, whatever Doombreed and his core of Blood Pact loyalists in the Warp are cooking up in Khorne's realm between reconstructing. They often play an important role in ferrying supplies from one incarnation of the Blood Pact to the next.

== Relationships between the big names of Chaos ==

'''Luther and Malys''' - One good (bad) thing about Malys is that she's able to tone the Eldar supremacy way down enough to the point that she doesn't immediately alienate non-Eldar followers of Chaos. She's pragmatic and Undivided, caring more about the spread of Chaos than anything else, and that's the reason she and not someone like Arrotyr is at the forefront of the Black Crusades.

The problem is typically Luther can't hold it in, and his paranoia of the Galactic. Eldar. Conspiracy. is still rampant. In these situations Malys can't help but provoke him further, as emotional gratification is one thing she is not good at controlling. At some point it goes beyond even Erebus' ability to talk things down and the alliance ends.

Other times things go smoothly and it's something like Malys running out of drugs/getting bored that end things. These are not mutually exclusive.

Another reason why Luther might not like Malys (beyond the GEC) might be the mark of Chaos Ascendant. The Mark of Chaos Ascendant so far seems to have only been given to two people in this universe: The Beast, who was the Beast, and Malys, who is the Everchosen of Chaos. Despite having blessings from all four Chaos Gods (enough to take his Mark III S brother in the middle of a sperg rage head on), Luther doesn’t seem to be an Emperor-level threat like Malys or the Beast, implying he probably doesn't have the mark of Chaos Ascendant. Luther’s biggest asset is in the mass number of Fallen whose loyalty he commands, not his power level. Luther is pissed that the Mark of Chaos Ascendant went to some skanky space elf bitch who simultaneously looks like she has had too little and too much recaff as opposed to him.

Despite being dragged into serving Chaos kicking and screaming and having a love-hate relationship with the Ruinous Powers, Luther wants to be champion of the Chaos gods for a few major reasons. He’s reached the point of acceptance of his situation and is trying to make the best of what he has (even if he occasionally snaps when he dwells on what happened to his brother), and he’s had ten thousand years of “this is your brain on Chaos”, which tends to erode even the best sense of judgement.

Additionally, Luther lets Erebus hang around and between his human supremacy and Erebus's fanaticism it makes a lot of sense that he'd want to usurp Malys, or at least surpass her in power, which is essentially the same thing. If he didn't he'd be settling for subordination to an (((Eldar))) at a minimum, and quite possibly aiding her in the destruction of the Imperium on her terms. Luther's ambition is, ultimately, to build the Imperium how it should have been. It would be nice if the Imperium as it is now could be salvaged and repaired. That's the main plan. Plan B, the one that he feels is more and more likely to work as the years pass, is that he's going to have to burn it all down and start again from the foundations. He might not want to destroy the Imperium, just purge the Xenos and everyone that he doesn't like, but if its going to be destroyed, the terms will be his.

Believe it or not, Malys actually likes Luther to some degree. He's pragmatic and a good strategist, and is much more easy to work with than his closest counterpart among the Crones, Arrotyr. Luther is upset that ultimately he's just the more cooperative but less trusted alternative to Arrotyr, who needs to be argued into cooperation whenever Malys hopes to get the support of the Scions of the Old Helm. Arrotyr's particular devotion to Khorne inclines him to circle the Eye of Terror incinerating anyone he personally thinks is getting too full of themselves, and occasionally launching spite driven solo campaigns into Shaa-Dome, against whatever pilgrimage is the Conservator is gathering to go harass Isha, to ruin some nest of sorcery in the webway edges of the Eye, or very rarely, to go piss napalm on Cadia. To have the Scions be anything but a liability on a Black Crusade Malys needs to buy Arrotyr's loyalty with weapons, deference, and choice targets, or else he'll remain the team killing asshole that Khorne loves him to be. Sometimes he'll even jack up his price in trophies and glory half way through a war, just to fuck with Malys, and show Khorne is above her. This usually is a counterproductive, self defeating move, but he's perfectly happy ruining a Black Crusade to get a chance to shoot everyone around him and his forces.

Luther is an ambitious, paranoid xenophobe that wants Malys's job, but that means that when Malys sets up a Black Crusade Luther has to fall in and earnestly help, because all the gods are in on it with Malys. Unlike Arrotyr, Luther has to impress all four gods in whatever plan he'd use to usurp Malys, instead of just turning the whole thing into a slaughter as soon as his own ego and THE BLOOD KING OF THE GALAXY demands it. Also the Fallen are greater in number and more strategically and tactically flexible than the Scions of the Old Helm, both in void and personal combat, though they are less deadly by a similar margin. Now if only he were an Eldar. Of course if he was an Eldar he wouldn't be paranoid about the Galactic. Eldar. Conspiracy. and that would take all the fun out of poking the insecure mon-keigh for a laugh.

'''Doombreed and Luther/the Fallen''' - Doombreed will fall in line with Khorne whether he wants to or not. Luther isn't necessarily in line with Khorne, and Khorne is pleased to get the occasional shot at the uppity shit. Their factions are both undivided, and tend to bleed together with recruiting and support slaving, but slaughter each other as well as any Chaos worshippers. On the other hand, they both want to prevent Crones and lesser warbands from poaching their troops, so cooperation is hardly rare either.

The Fallen and the officers of the Blood Pact get along reasonably well as both are professional soldiers, as much as Chaos can get professional. Mostly it's just Doombreed and the really old Fallen that have the problem and when they have to work together it's the younger ones that have to try and curb the grudges and act as intermediaries so that they can actually get shit done. They all venerate the same god, even if only one of them does so to the almost/total exception of the others. Then Be'Lakor or Lady Malys stick their oar in and fucks the delicate balance up and then they are at each others throats again. Often this is a contributing factor to the end of Black Crusades. For Khorne's part he finds it very entertaining, this old and still livid hate is a fine old vintage to him.

'''Arrotyr, Nimina, the Taskmaster, and the Indigo Crow'''

In contrast to canon, the champions of the Big Four (specifically the counterparts to canon [[Kharn]], [[Typhus]], [[Lucius]], and [[Ahriman]]) dislike each other not only because they worship different gods, but for very personal reasons.

* Arrotyr hates Slaaneshis in general for ruining the Old Empire, the Taskmaster in particular for defeating him in the Fall, Nimina for being an obnoxious Isha-loving slag that escaped him, and The Indigo Crow for being a Tzeentchian and a fuckup<br>
* Nimina hates Arrontyr with a passion for burning the grand temple of Isha, despises Slaanesh but curries favor with the Taskmaster for ships and preaching grounds, and loathes the Indigo Crow for being the Tzeentchian lunatic fuckup that lost her her idol<br>
* The Crow thinks Arrotyr is a small minded and dim impediment to the Old Empire, that the Taskmaster is an easily manipulated pawn that got lucky, and that Nimina is a pathetic liability to Nurgle that should be capitalized on<br>

Taskmaster hasn't been written up yet, but it can be assumed he hates the other three as well.

= Dark Eldar =

Urien Rakarth is doubtless still the same twisted fuck. He is probably enjoying the new strange specimens the Chaos Eldar bring from the Eye of Terror.

Duke Sliscus is in disfavor in Comorragh. Whenever he comes into port, there surely will be bloodshed between his pirates and the Chaos Eldar. He considers himself the rival of Prince Yriel, stating his contempt and pity for a once noble Eldar to debase himself before monkeigh. Yriel for his part has too many rivals to keep track of already. Duke Sliscus, when he isn't feuding with the new 'guests' in Comorragh or leading massive pirate invasions has a profitable drug cartel he runs. He likes to sample his own stock.

Kheradruakh the Decapitator has no shortage of heads these days. The shrine grows. The Decapitator is a bogeyman to the Imperium, an unstoppable and grisly assassin without peer. Many a fledgling Imperial hero has been found dead in the night, hacked to pieces, with their head missing. Unusually close to Lady Malays, acting as her bloody left hand.

Drazhar acts as Vest's iron right hand. Rumored to be the greatest swordsman in the galaxy, he has cut a bloody swathe through the Imperium's finest, leaving a trail of corpses and legends behind him. Despite his merciless efficiency in the killing fields, Dark Eldar don't trust him. He acts with too much honor, maintaining an unsightly code. He eschews subterfuge, preferring instead to kill his enemies face to face. And worst of all top the Chaos Eldar, one whisper placed him in the Gardens of Nurgle during Isha's liberation. Perhaps this is why Vect keeps Drazhar close: he so loves to see his bride furious. Rage and hate are a fine substitute to love for the dark Eldar.

Dark Eldar joined in the War of the Beast (and started attacking their Craftworld and Exodite kin in larger number than in canon) because Craftworlders asked Dark Eldar to at least try to leave humans alone after the Craftworlders and Imperium had allied for the raid on Nurgle's Mansion. They didn't even ask the Dark Eldar to change their ways, they basically went "Look, we're working with these mon-keigh. Can you please find some other group of mon-keigh to go perform your business on? Like the Tarellians. Nobody cares about the Tarellians". Dark Eldar were incensed that their white-knighting kin were telling them what to do and attacked both the other Eldar and the Imperium even more to spite them. The Craftworlders ironically found themselves being attacked by kin while fighting alongside strangers. As a result, unlike canon, the majority of Craftworlds and Exodites hate the Dark Eldar.

Up until the union between Vect and Malys the Dark Eldar were seen, by their gods at any rate, as still their children. Misguided children maybe but kin all the same. After the union of the Dark and the Chaos the gods have stopped caring about them. They may, as individuals, still be capable of crawling their way back to the light but they will have to do it on their own because the old gods don't feel it is worth the effort anymore.

===Dark Eldar Philosophy===

The Dark Eldar have a rather weird philosophy. In their mind they are the only truly free people, free of decrees from gods, kings, or emperors. The Eldar Gods were weak, because they weren’t strong enough to save themselves from being murderfucked/shattered/kidnapped (or at best saved themselves by running away like a coward), and therefore don’t deserve their worship. They see the Exodites and Craftworlders as blind sheep who can’t think for themselves. They don’t have a much better opinion of the Crone Eldar, who they see as just as bad for prostrating themselves before some incomprehensible god, exchanging one set of shackles for another.

Commorragh likes to style itself to outsiders (when they do bother to culturally posture) as a libertarian meritocratic utopia where everyone is free to do as they please without having to bow to the will of gods, kings, or any other authority. It’s unclear who they’re trying to convince with this message, as the Imperium sees them as a bunch of thieves and pirates (on a good day), the Crones see them as prudes in denial, and the Necrons and Orks don’t really give a shit. Thing is “people” to the Dark Eldar has a really, really narrow definition. "People" to them means trueborn, Commorragh-born Dark Eldar. Mon-keigh need not apply. Defecting 'edgy' Craftworlders and Exodites (which does happen) end up at the bottom of the social heap and have trouble climbing up, usually ending up a vagrant on the street or a corpse lying face-down in some alley. Vatborn have a better chance than most, but there is still a stigma surrounding their origins at best or considered "half a person" at worst. The highest ranking defectors and vatborn generally get that way by hiding or eliminating any evidence to the contrary. Non-Dark Eldar have risen through the ranks before, but these instances are really, really rare, and you basically have to be a Fabius Bile-level sick fuck before they even begin to take you seriously.

Outside the xenos districts, where races like the Slaugth, Sslyth, or even human pirates come to trade their wares or look for mercenary work, Commorragh is really only “safe” (in the loosest sense of the word) for Dark Eldar and some of the Harlequins and Crones. Dark Eldar because they can walk through the streets without getting knifed for being a mon-keigh (no guarantees are made for any other reason for knifing). Harlequins and Crones because both groups are violent and crazy and those two traits are a good knife deterrent in a bad neighborhood like Commorragh. Even the Crones are barely tolerated, Dark Eldar seeing their constant proselytizing as annoying, and those Crones who try to go one step further and subvert the city find that the Dark Eldar’s patience can rapidly wear thin. Harlequins are given a bit more respect/fear, as the Dark Eldar know their god has a very real presence in the Webway. Even Vect tried to avoid antagonizing the Harlequins until his plans were set in stone.

====Commorragh: A Fair and Upright Society====
[[What|Wait, what?]]

Okay, this is going to take some explaining.

Surprisingly enough, compared to the attitudes of the Old Empire and Shaa-Dome after the Fall, Commorragh is fairly idealistic. Sure sadism and exploitation are commonplace, but there's a degree of social mobility however improbable, all the pain serves some purpose instead of existing for its own sake, and there's even some distorted version of taste that bounds their wildest excesses. Theoretically, anyone can make it just below the top in Commorragh (anyone in this case referring to Trueborn Dark Eldar and to a lesser extent Vatborn), though not the very top because Vect doesn't want someone bungling the whole system and implementing their idea of social order. And if you don't like the system, you're always free to leave (except you can't, because Vect ate up all his competition and now Commorragh is essentially a monopoly). By contrast, the Old Empire was composed of a bunch of aristocratic Sidhe houses constantly fighting each other for power with very little social mobility unless you were a "new money" OP plz nerf psyker. For Vect, who grew up before the Fall and who's cutthroat rise from gutter rat to minor servant in noble house was seen as beyond the pale, Commorragh is the picture of a fair and upright society. And its hard for even Eldrad to argue against Vect that the Craftworlders are a truer reformation of the Old Empire than the Dark Eldar. Stripped of the mystical excesses and more psychotic whims, the Eldar of the pre-Fall empire would undeniably be closer to Vect's Project than to the Craftworlders and Exodites, who live a romanticized cultural myth alike to their ancestors in the War in Heaven

Eldar are known for their obsessive, perfectionist tendencies and extreme devotion to goals. The Crones are devoted to serving Chaos. The Craftworlders are devoted to their paths. The Aspect Warriors are devoted to combat. The Harlequins and Handmaidens are devoted to their gods. Eldrad is devoted to saving the eldar people. Vect is devoted to Commorragh. It's his life's work and vanity project, his statement on what society should be like. When Vect says "I am Commorragh", he's not kidding.

===After the Wedding===

I like the idea of the more sane Withered and maybe some of the less extreme younger generations and maybe quite a few of the Vat-born of the Dark Eldar having their eyes opened by the wedding.

Up until that point they could always point at the Cronedar and say "at least we aren't that". Then their great and independent city becomes so close to that that it makes no practical difference, not that it did to outsiders anyway.

Now they don't have an option. Now they are staring into the abyss with Clockwork Orange eye clamps on and they can't look away and they are slowly being dragged forward and they can see perfectly well where this journey ends. Oh holy ever loving fuck they can see where this journey ends, this is going to be The Fall v2.0 and they are at ground zero.

A large number of their number would maybe have gotten a Harlequin escort out of the Dark City. Vect wouldn't have been recklessly brash enough to antagonize the Clowns until the marriage had stuck and he knew it was safe, their god is often abroad in the webway and can manipulate it to some degree.

That would have been the last time the Harlequin Troupes would have visited the City of Sins. Beyond that point it's just a Chaos stronghold with nothing worth saving. At that moment the City was forsaken by the elder gods. Even Khaine. They had finally managed to make their own mother admit they were irredeemable and wish them dead.

Of the millions of Repentants they would be viewed as highly suspect. They would only be permitted into the visitors section of the Craftworlds if that and that is generous.

They would not be officially permitted on most human or other xeno worlds although that would be very difficult to enforce as eldar can not into paperwork at the best of times and one group of eldar is difficult to tell from another to a basic human. Needless to say Chaos and Dark Eldar infiltration would increase drastically, but only temporary.

However, don’t take this to mean that Commorragh is deserted, or that the majority of Dark Eldar defected. Commorragh is huge, being essentially two Dyson Sphere-sized outgrowth of the Webway stacked on top of each other. The Kabals and their Archons are there, being too deep in the sunk cost fallacy to ever leave. In their mind, they didn’t spend their considerable lives scheming and backstabbing their way to the top just to abandon all that and start all over as a second-class citizen. The same is true for any Dark Eldar who are infamous enough to be recognized as individuals by the Imperium at large. For both groups, they feel like they have no choice but to stay in Commorragh, and would rather oppose Vect to the bitter end. They would rather reign in hell than serve in heaven, a mon-keigh turn of phrase that is rapidly turning out to be disturbingly literal.

The Dark Eldar who left Commorragh are the young, the idealistic, the ones who aren’t entrenched in the power structure and thus have nothing to lose if they leave. Especially the vatborn. Being treated like second-class citizens or pawns at best, many of the vatborn probably jumped ship if they were able to. Of course, this just means the Dark Eldar have just kicked their cloning vats into high gear both to replace the losses caused by the refugees and to meet the demand for troops by the Crones.

==The Bleeding Star==

The Bleeding Star is essentially a Chaos Eldar Flying Dutchman, and the Croneworlder's version of an Ork attack moon. However, while an Attack Moon prioritizes toughness over firepower, the Bleeding Star (as would be expected of something of Dark Eldar origins) prioritizes speed and power over defense. Precise, long-range weaponry to a Moon's wild sprays of fire, fast to its slow, (relatively) fragile to its ludicrously tanky. It’s like a Dark Eldar raiding party on steroids, like a Craftworld that someone rammed into a Space Hulk. Also unlike Attack Moons or World Engines, which tend to be fairly ponderous, the Bleeding Star has a habit of showing up in orbit around a planet with no warning. When a normal Dark Eldar raiding party shows up to a planet, it’s a fair bet that you can eventually fight them off before they do too much damage. When this thing shows up around any world that isn’t a Fortress World or a Space Marine Homeworld, you’d better hope that someone else noticed and is sending backup ASAP. Maybe worth two or three Assault Moons. Not powerful enough to be worth the EVERYONE PANIC levels of a World Engine, but dangerous enough that the Emperor is briefed each time it shows up.

= The Silent King and the Necron Star Empire =

When the Necrons had wiped the sleep out of their eyes and came out of the auto-pilot, the Silent King arose to speak for the largest faction of them, and there was hope that there would have been (at least initially) the possibility of diplomatic dialogue.

I can also imagine it pissing off the Eldar citizens of the Imperium enormously. They would find it incredible that they can't adequately communicate how fucking stupid humanity can be at times.

Agreements would be reached. In much the same way that the Maiden Worlds are off limits to settlers without Eldar permission that they never give so too would the Tomb Worlds be treated. With everyone staying off of everyone else lawn things start to run smoother for a time. Emperor starts making deals with the lesser lords for including them in the mutual protection deals. Shit is looking hopeful. Crypteks are refusing to share toys and know how but such things would be used to keep the citizenry safe anyhow so it would amount to more or less the same.

Shit starts to go bad when the Necrons refuse to keep their Flayed Ones under control. Refuse to even apologize. Flayed Ones are still Necrons and even one of their damaged kind is worth a million lesser lives.

"Renegade" Crypteks keep abducting civilians for experiments.

Freshly awakened Necrons keep going about their genocidal business and the other Necrons refuse to keep them contained until their wits are awoken. They claim that the Sleep Walkers haven't actually broken any Necron Laws and that the Imperium should be grateful they are turning a blind eye to their half-slumbering brethren being shot at.

Then the Silent King returns after a long time absents and demands over a trillion human citizens every century for use in experiments to undo the bio-transference. By his estimations the dent in the human population would be more than recovered in the century allowed for recovery. In a great display of generosity the Emperor would be permitted to choose who of his people would have the honour of being sacrificed in this glorious endeavor. If taken evenly from the breadth of the Imperium their loss wouldn't even be felt.

At that point Emperor apologizes to the Eldar and admits that they were indeed right.

Necrons are added to the same list as Orks and Tyrannids in regards to how they should be treated.

The remains of the Silent King's messenger was returned in something resembling a paper soup cup and that was the last message the Emperor ever sent to the Silent King that wasn't delivered via weaponry.

Silent King owns the allegiance of many Lords and has a personal army bigger than any two lords combined.

He can be dealt with, or more correctly talked to. Sadly he doesn't understand the concept of give and take. He wants something, you give it to him. You refuse and he fuck your shit up. The Imperium fought him to a standstill when he demanded tribute in human, eldar and demiurge lives for his biotransferance reversal experiments. He points out that it would be less than a trillion lives all told. Imperium have population in the tens of quadrillions and they would take in small amounts from across galaxy, it would not be noticed.

Holy shit was the Emperor furious at that one. Folk legend say that all the astropaths across entire galaxy started swearing and yelling obscenities in over a hundred languages.

There was not even a pretenses at proportional response from either side. Silent King did have the real doomsday shit on standby and was prepared to use it, unfortunate for him he didn't anticipate the sheer fucking incandescent wroth made manifest with vortex weapons that took out his doomsday weapons before he could dickslap the big red button.

After that diplomatic relations, minimal as they were, completely dried up.
There are other lords who have rebelled against the Silent Kings.

Ones who spent thousands of years in obedience to his whims and have no interest in rebuilding the old empire because the old empire was BORING AS FUCK and then they see the bright lights of the Imperium and decide they want that. They want the hustle and bustle and music and noise and the lights and the crowds and the chatter and the music and to live and feel alive in a living empire rather than some shit Empire of the Dead.

Some don't support his plans to undo the biotransferance. The ones with good memories that remember what it was like to be racked with cancers and illness due to their fucked up biology and irreparable genes.

Some are just too fucking nuts to care about anything and ascribing meaning to their actions is impossible.

The Necron Star Empire as a whole is post-scarcity, post-singularity, post-individual, and post-heroic. Individuality only exists so long as it serves to advance the interests of the Silent King. The Necrons obey the Silent King in a manner that seems half exaltation and half mind control, moving to fulfill his wishes wholeheartedly without a word on the Silent King's behalf. It is entirely possible that Szsrekh was unable to sever the control protocols in this universe like he was in canon. Most of the Necron Lords who reject the rule of the Silent King are those who either just plain crazy or reject the idea of post-individuality and post-age of heroes and gods (e.g., Trazyn the Infinite and his collecting habit).

The Silent King, and therefore by extension the Necron Star Empire, has two, very simple goals. Clean up the mess the Necrons made during the War in Heaven by using the Cadian Pillars to separate the Warp and realspace to starve out Chaos and return the Immaterium to its previous state, and reverse the bio-transference. In almost any other circumstance, these goals would be noble, admirable even, if it were not for the fact that achieving them would result in the death of every living thing in the galaxy with a soul and making FTL travel impossible for most races. The Silent King is not doing this out of malice. He merely feels there is no way to fix the galaxy without wiping out its current inhabitants as a side effect.

Very little has been written about the Silent King personally. One idea that was floated and seemingly liked is that Szerakh came to the throne at a relatively young age for a Necrontyr, kind of like Tutankhamun, after his father was assassinated. Everyone assumed he would be a pushover. He would end up being, for better or worse, the most accomplished ruler in Necrontyr history and the ones to drag multiple pantheons of gods from their thrones.

== The Necron Star Empire and the Old Ones ==

So far, it has been deliberately left murky as to which side, if either, of the War in Heaven was “right”. Trazyn's story of the reasoning behind the War in Heaven is definitely Necron-biased, but then again it is being told by Trazyn the Infinite.

Indeed, it’s possible that both may have been in the right, and both may have been in the wrong. The Necrontyr might have genuinely thought they were doing the right thing, but they were still massively projecting their own issues onto someone else. The whole “liberate the galaxy from the Old Ones” might have been what the Necrontyr higher ups actually told the general populace to unite them, since people are more willing to die for a righteous cause than a petty one. The Phaerons might have even believed it themselves to some degree.

The Old Ones may have had genuinely benevolent intentions towards the rest of the galaxy, but they were still, as one anon put it “space lizard wizards with no sense of right and wrong” who were oblivious to the fact that their actions might have been interpreted differently by an outside observer. The Old Ones might have left the Necrontyr as is in the hopes that the harsh conditions of their homeworld would force the Necrontyr to rapidly evolve into a technologically advanced species, especially if their goals were similar to canon. It completely slipped their minds what the Necrontyr’s reaction would be when they found out the Old Ones were watching the whole time. When the Necrontyr left the confines of their star system the Old Ones’ response was “Congratulations, you passed the test” whereas the Necrontyr’s reaction was along the lines of “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

The War in Heaven may have started out with both races considering themselves having the moral high ground, but then they started crossing lines and breaking their own moral codes and it was downhill from there. The War in Heaven starting out on both sides as an internally justified and noble cause, but then devolving into a complete clusterfuck.

=== The Old Ones ===

==== About the Old Ones ====

The Old Ones were a species of sapient, three-eyed amphibians, [[Nobledark_Imperium_Imperial_Society_and_Culture#The_Etymological_Legacy_of_the_Old_Ones|who called themselves Slann in their own tongue]]. However, like toads or some Paleozoic amphibians despite being amphibious they had no problems staying out of the water for extended periods of time and had a dry leathery or warty skin rather than a slimy one. In spite of this, they returned to the water to breed and had a tadpole-like larval stage, though by the time they ascended they had ceased all need for such functions and references to this mostly existed as cultural idioms. When they were still material the Old Ones did have small, blunt hornlets, though after ascending they could basically look however they want and each individual tailored their appearance to their own subjective idea of what they wanted to look like. Be'lakor's wings and huge horns are because, like everything else in his life, he is overcompensating for something. [[Archaon|It's been suggested Be'lakor's horns in this universe are more forward curving like in depictions of Archaon to make him look less like a Bloodthirster painted black.]]

The Old Ones as a species basically won the evolutionary lottery due to two key features. The first was their third eye, which like the "third eye" (pineal gland) of Terran reptiles helped track the passage of time and gave them a natural edge in comprehending a realm where the laws of causality are loose. Whereas to humans and other races the changing rates of the passage of time is disorienting and confusion, to the Old Ones it was no different from moving in any other three dimensions. Which isn’t to say they could time travel, just that they could perceive when time was speeding up, slowing down, or reversing. Which explains how the Navigators do it. Because the Old Ones had an advantage in a realm which they could literally shape to their whims even more than realspace, they paid less attention to the material sciences, which is how the relatively primitive Necrontyr Star Empire was able to fight them. The Old Ones were so dependent on the Warp yanking their mastery of the Warp out from under them made the fight substantially easier. It would be like if a third-world country invented a device which stopped computers and internal combustion engines from working.

Secondly, the Old Ones as a species were also characterized by “cold blooded logic”. This meant that while they had emotions they were tremendously mentally stable and able to manipulate the emotionally volatile Realm of Souls much more easily and skillfully than almost any species before or after, it gave them the emotional intelligence of a wet paper bag. The effects of this can be seen when the Necrontyr demanded immortality as recompense for the Old Ones knowing they had been suffering on an irradiated hellhole for millions of years and did nothing. The Old Ones told them the Necrontyr were not ready for immortality, and they had a point. Immortality requires a lot of forethought and maturity. You have to figure out how you are going to distribute resources, deal with population growth, etc. The Necrontyr didn't even have their own house in order. The Old Ones assumed the Necrons would hear their words, logically come to the same conclusion as they had, and calmly accept it. They didn't expect the Necrontyr to take it personally, [[Mortarion|see it as dismissing their suffering]], in the Old Ones' eyes emotionally overreact, and declare war on them.

This only got worse after the Necrontyr managed to make some of the Old Ones, who as individuals had been fixtures of society for millions of years, actually die. This caused the Old Ones, who weren't used to being so emotional, to freak out and contributed to a lot of knee-jerk, short-sighted decisions. Like uplifting a bunch of races to do the fighting so they didn't have to. Or making Khorne.

The Old Ones are also, as their name might suggest incredibly, mind-bendingly, old. There’s a reason that even the eldar, whose Old Empire lasted 65 million years before it imploded, consider the Old Ones to be much more ancient and advanced than they ever were. The Old Ones were, as far as anyone knows, the oldest sentient forms of life in the galaxy. The C’tan don’t count, although they existed since the dawn of the universe and had the potential for sentience they did not truly become sentient until they gained physical form by the Necrontyr and were able to perceive the world in terms of more than simple stimuli. To the Old Ones, the C’tan were nothing more than interesting wildlife and environmental hazards until the Necrontyr weaponized them.

As a point of reference, consider that Khorne was born 65 million years ago, and his birth hole, the Maelstrom, is still open today. Tzeentch, Malal, and Nurgle are all older than that, and there don’t appear to be any birth wounds that can readily be attributed to them. It could be argued that they may not have produced one as their birth was not as violent as Slaanesh or Khorne’s was, and Nurgle in particular would be more likely to drag his birth cradle into a zone of stagnancy in the Warp than create a new hole in reality, but if not these three would have to be at least as old as the dawn of the Cretaceous Era. And Be’lakor, as the first Old One to truly step between the bounds of mortality and immortality, even if he was massively passed up and outdated by everyone and everything that came after, would predate even that.

Indeed, this is what led the Old Ones to develop their particular philosophy. The Old Ones are distinct anti-nihlists. When they first set out into the stars, they found that there was nothing there, no higher purpose, no meaning, and a lot more lifeless worlds than one would expect from 40k (the implication being that the surprisingly high number of habitable worlds are due to the Old Ones). So they decided to make their own purpose, by devoting themselves to spreading life (especially sentient life) everywhere they could and making the galaxy flourish. Of course, they were still amoral lizard wizards with no sense of right and wrong, so how they went about doing this could be somewhat dubious at times. For example, leaving the Necrontyr on their homeworld in the hopes it would make them evolve quicker because the Old Ones were lonely and wanted another species they could talk to and pass their wisdom on to, which led the Necrontyr to see the Old Ones as playing god with everyone else.

==== How other species see the Old Ones ====

The Imperium tends to lionize the Old Ones a bit more than they should, mostly due to the influence of the eldar, who looked up to the Old Ones during the War in Heaven. The Imperium tends to project its own moral values onto the Old Ones, thinking that the race that left the Necrontyr to suffer on a radiation-blasted world, [[Nobledark_Imperium_Member_States#Tarellian Religion|left off mortal representatives of their uplifted races in their stone carvings]], and [[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#Rise_of_Khorne|intentionally created Khorne]] had the same moral compass as them. It's more likely you have a situation similar to the Forerunners in [[Halo]], with some Old Ones who were benevolent and some who were cruel, but the species as a whole seem to have had a number of assholes. After all, [[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#Be'lakor|look at the one who survived]].

The Eldar claim the Old Ones willed them dominion over the galaxy when they died. It’s unclear where they got this idea, because the Old Ones sure as hell weren’t planning to die during the War in Heaven, and it's unlikely they thought their servant races would survive in any scenario where they themselves would not. There are several potential options here. One is that this is simply another case of the eldar exaggerating about their own history to give themselves legitimacy in their claims to the galaxy. Indeed, it's possible the Eldar came to the conclusion that "this is our galaxy now" when they stuck their head out of the Webway after the War in Heaven and found that all of the other races were either gone or regressed, and over sixty-five million years the historical cause and effect was lost. Another is that the Old Ones were even bigger bastards than anyone thought and told their servant races this as a false motivator. A third possibility is that the Old Ones intended all of their uplifted races to share the galaxy in the event they died, and the Eldar twisted or misinterpreted the meaning to mean just them. Or possibly the Old Ones meant that the galaxy would be theirs (as in, the Old Ones plus the servant races) collectively, with [[Slann|the servant races under the guiding yet iron-firm hand of the Old Ones]]

The Old Ones made the Webway, as well as several other high-power artifacts. This is one of the reasons the Eldar are so leery about allowing access to the Webway, they know how to make new gates into the Webway (and even that takes time) and patch minor holes, but they don't know how to make a new one if the whole thing is broken. It's the equivalent of a mechanic who knows how to change a tire or fix an engine, but can't manufacture a car from scratch. The Webway is alive and is capable of mitigating the damage, but even it can only do so much. Indeed, high end Old One technology (such as Tzeentch, Malal, Nurgle, Khorne, the Webway, the Blackstone Fortresses, and the Tuchulcha and other Webway making equipment on Caliban) all seem to exhibit certain hallmarks. Manipulate the Immaterium to a degree people didn't know possible? Check. Use raw warp power? Check. Not made of adamantium, wraithbone, or any other known materials? Check. Alive? Check. You could even make the argument that the eldar and the other uplifted soldier races fit these criteria.

Hilariously, the Webway only ever seems to target Necrons using Dolmen Gates (even in vanilla), at least directly, it still tries to mess with the heads of anyone who tries to use it. This suggests that the Old Ones only told the Webway to keep out Necrons, Chaos not being a thing during the War in Heaven. So the Crones who are balls-deep in Chaos can go running through the Webway, and the Webway only ever seems to note "huh, those Eldar have a serious radiation exposure problem. They should probably have that looked at".

== Necrons of the Star Empire ==

=== Imotekh the Stormlord ===

Because many of the Necrons have developed their own quirks from the long sleep, the Silent King often finds it most useful to give his subjects generalized orders (like "go kill that planet") and let his generals go about their own way to do it. Imotekh is a great example of this.

Imotekh is the classic example of a “bad guy” who nevertheless has a strict code of ethics and some traits that even his worst enemies would begrudgingly consider virtues. Imotekh has a measure of honor, unusual for a Necron, and when told to destroy a planet his fleet will often show up in full force around the planet, blowing any element of surprise, as Imotekh demands that the planet nominate a champion to fight him in one-on-one combat to determine its fate. Firing upon Imotekh is considered a forfeture of the duel and planets who do so are annihilated.

If the champion wins, the planet is spared (i.e., Imotekh goes back to Silent King and goes "sorry boss, planet is too stronk”). If the champion of the planet is defeated, the Necrons open fire and kill every man, woman, and child on the planet. Imotekh doesn't blink an eye. After all, they lost, fair and square. Imotekh rarely loses, if for nothing else than it’s rather hard for an average planet to produce an individual that can win against a Terminator-esque skele-bot.

=== Anrakyr the Traveller ===

Anrakyr the Traveller is going around waking up all the still slumbering Tomb Worlds at the Silent King's behest, so that the entire Star Empire will be ready to go when the Silent King gives the order. He's perfectly friendly and willing to chat with the locals while doing so, because the locals aren't part of his orders, unless he thinks they're getting in the way of him doing his job. Indeed, a lot of the nicer servants of the Silent King such as Anrakyr and Imotekh seem to be this way. They'll act perfectly friendly to you because they want to and they have received no orders that supercede this, but their orders always come first and the minute they think you're keeping them from completing their orders (or they actually are ordered to kill you) they bust out the gauss weaponry.

=== Trazyn the Infinite ===

In addition to the underclass present on Solemnace, Trazyn the Infinite often hires mortals to serve as scribes, organizers, and cataloguers of his vast collection. Trazyn's collection is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to learn about the history and inner workings of the galaxy. The catch is that once you enter Trazyn's employ, you can never leave, as Trazyn doesn't want word of the more dangerous or politically controversial items in his collection getting out.

To continue with the “Necrons = Victorian England, Imperium = 1600’s Europe” analogy that has been used, Trazyn seems kind of like an old British anthropologist (or a xenologist in this case). Instead of being horrified that the galaxy is so different from what he remembers, he's delighted because it means everything is new again and he gets to relearn galactic history and culture all over again. The reason he’s giving the Silent King the two finger salute is he thinks its stupid to exterminate his objects of study for no good reason. At the same time, he’s not siding with the Imperium because “he’s not going to take orders from the bloody primitives”.

===Orikan the Diviner===
Kinda pictured Orikan as a Cain sort of sire for a bunch of Victorian aristocratic vampire Strigoi, and the pyramid motifs fit well. I'm picturing Crowley-esque vampire space aristocrats on the human side, and a few necrons that Orikan put Deceiver shards in that came out like Archeologists in requiem.

Orikan just being in possession of a significant Deceiver sliver, whether or not its embedded in him, may make him count as a powerful Strigoi. He might have fractal gold creeping through his cold metal bones, he might not, and it could just as well be the lying star god's motif that dictates his actions, or that of the long dead, mad Necrotyr mystic. In any case he has a sliver of The Deceiver in his possession, he has sired Strigoi from it with the apparent intent of expanding his access to The Deceiver's pool of psychic power and shard material for experimentation, and conducts vast and subtle intrigues in both the Imperium and Necron Star Empire. Even if the Diviner is not a vampire in nature, it appears to be in effect, standing as the progenitor and involved master of one of the eldest traceable lines of Strigoi.

Many of the powerful Vampires are but a few degrees removed from his early experiments millennia ago are now well established sires in their own right, either deeply embedded in or legendary hated by the Imperium or Necrons. Those human sires that have risen to the great progenitor's attention over the centuries might be backed by trifles of Necron technology, and this in turn would give rise to legends of vampire lords wielding macabre wonders even beyond the ken of the eldest of their kind.

Orikan runs his vampire pyramid scheme for magic within his magic pyramid, which itself is also scheming. Orikan has implanted a shard of the Deceiver in his pyramid as his A.I. assistant/security system/reliable traitor. The fragment will try to betray Orikan and take over the operation, even if Orikan is a Deceiver vampire, because it's a fragment of the Deceiver and that's just how the Deceiver does things. If Orikan loses against the pyramid, then obviously he wasn't very good at his job (or he just uses his bullshit time travel/divination, which also works). But because the fragment want it to be the one to betray Orikan, it does a fantastic job at keeping out the riffraff. The pyramid itself is basically Nagash’s Black Pyramid or the pyramid of one of the Archaeologists from Requiem Vampire Knight with a giant Illuminati-style eye (which is probably a telescope used for Orikan’s divining, but don’t let that disappoint you).

== Technology ==

=== Inertialess Drives ===

They're back, the Necrons have them. However, inertialess drives are only found on the very large, capital ships. For example Nemesor Zandrekh, the Imperium's closest contact among the Necrons, has a grand total of one ship with an inertialess drive. Every other Necron ship has to hitch a ride on one of the capital ships or use the Dolmen Gates.

The Inertialess Drives were the cause of the First Wars of Secession, which were fought long before Szarekh's time. Although Necrontyr society placed a high value on loyalty and obedience, this value wasn't necessarily in abundance. The Necrontyr premium on loyalty was in part because you had a lot of rules-lawyering Starscreams plotting in the courts and actual loyalty, like the kind you see between Obyron and Zahndrekh, was highly treasured. Positive feedback loop. Because there was little to no contact with the throneworld, the Phaerons of the various colonies were all able to say they were ruling in the Silent King’s name when they were really just consolidating their own power base.

Even after leaving their homeworld, the Necrontyr had short lives, on par with the Tau, because the radiation of the star had been so bad that the entire species' genetic code was riddled with mutations and damaged genes and the species as a whole had been selected for growing up fast and reproducing fast before the cancer got you. The Necrontyr did have some form of life-extending drugs, but the nobility mostly extended their lives through stasis chambers, telescoping but watering down their natural lives, being defrosted mostly when it was decision making time. These stasis chambers looked like ancient Egyptian Sarcophagi because these were the Necrontyr and of course they would. This coupled with a tradition of inheriting names was used to convince the ignorant masses that they were a superior breed of Necrontyr more worthy to rule.

So when representatives of the actual Silent King showed up with shiny new inertialess drives, all of a sudden the orders they’re receiving from the throneworld are different from their actual desires. So they say "fuck that" and rebel.

=== World Engines ===

The attack on the World Engine happened much as in canon, what with the Astral Knights ramming their Battle Barge into the thing, with a few notable differences. First, in addition to the Astral Knights, a number of Eldar joined in on the ramming of the World Engine, because they weren't going to let a bunch of Space Marines show them up especially against their most hated enemy. Secondly, rather than M41, in this timeline the World Engine attack happened in M34. There are several reasons for this. First, there a severe lack of events between M32 and the Age of Apostasy. Secondly, if the World Engine occurred at the same time as canon, depending on the time the Emperor would either ask the Silent King what the fuck is going on or merely consider it an escalation of hostilities. Moving the World Engine up to M34 increases its “OH GOD WHAT” factor and really foreshadows what the Imperium is in for with the Necrons.

Consider the following. In M34 the Imperium is at the peak of their power. The mortal followers of Chaos have been forced back into the Eye of Terror, the Orks are disorganized, and there are no tyranids, Necron Star Empire, or major uprisings to divert forces from other fronts. The Imperium is basically on top of things.
And then this World Engine from what is supposed to be an extinct race comes lumbering in from out of nowhere carving a swathe of destruction through the Imperium. No one knows where it came from. No one knows where it was going. All that anyone knows is that it shrugged off nearly everything the Imperium could throw at it, and its point defenses shot down just about everyone who tried to stop it about as easily as a human swatting a fly. The Imperium finally put it down at great cost, but a lot of uncertainty remained as to what this thing was, where it came from, and if something like this was going to happen again.

It's the equivalent of if a nuclear missile came blazing through the sky one day only to be shot down at great cost, and later analysis of the design shows it was built by an extinct civilization. How did they build it? How did it get launched? Are there more of them?

Fast forward to M41, and it turns out the mystery object was a Necron world engine. <b><i>A</i></b> Necron World Engine. As in they have multiples of the thing. Not a lot mind you, probably no more than a handful, because building a World Engine is still a massive undertaking even for the Necrons. The M34 World Engine was reactivated by accident, rather than on purpose. As of 999.M41 the remaining World Engines have only just finished booting up after having been reactivated by the Silent King as he gets the big guns out.

World Engine also means when the Silent King revs the rest of them up in M41, the Imperium has enough context to know how hard to shit bricks. To the average Imperial, the World Engine had almost reached mythological status , and now you're saying there's more of them? It would be like telling the ancient Greeks that Tartarus was open and Kronos was back.

=== Destroyers ===

Because the Necron Star Empire works differently here than in canon ([[1984|THERE IS NO UNHAPPINESS IN THE REALM OF THE SILENT KING]] - Szarekh) the [[Necron_Destroyer|Destroyers]] aren't a bunch of omnicidal nihlists in this timeline (with the exception of independent dynasties out of the Silent King's control, in which they very well may be). Instead, the Destroyers are a good illustration of just how worthless individuality and the wants and needs of the individual are to the post-everything Necron Star Empire. Just about the only thing the average Necron pleb has left is their body image. They threw away their honor. They sold their souls. They sacrificed their freedom of thought. All they have left is their physical form, and even that has been turned to metal, but at least it's theirs. But fuck that, because the Silent King has just decreed that he needs heavy infantry and he needs it now. And the Necron plebs do it immediately and without hesitation, eager to fulfill the will of the Silent King and his lords.

== General Timeline of the Life of the Silent King ==

Silent King Atenakhen (or just Akhen if that’s too on the nose) is assassinated by his fellow triarchs. Szarekh is about the Necrontyr equivalent of ten at the time. Szarekh promptly put on the throne. Everyone assumes that Szarekh will be a pushover who’s easy to manipulate because he’s a kid and he’s young and impressionable.

Necrontyr colonies hear of the news and go “holy shit, every Necrontyr for themselves” and kick off the Second Wars of Succession, aided by the fact that the colony worlds never really liked the fact that they had to listen to those idiots on the homeworld in the first place.

Fast forward a few years. Szarekh is now the Necrontyr equivalent of twenty-one and it’s clear that he’s nobody’s tool. Between his natural charisma and ability to politically outmaneuver people he is able to gain power and make it clear exactly who is in charge. The defining moment of this was when he tried his fellow Triarchs for conspiracy in murdering his father and sentenced them to death by exposure to Aza’gorod.

Now that the homeworld has been sufficiently cock-slapped into submission and Szarekh has replaced the Triarch with members he know won’t stab him in the back it’s time for the rest of the empire. The homeworld always has the largest supply of inertialess drive ships, which made it child’s play to re-establish the Silent King’s rule. Between the inertialess drives and the stasis chambers Szarekh is about the Necrontyr equivalent of thirty by the time that it’s all done.

A few years of peace. Necrontyr technology advances slightly and life is relatively good despite the cancer. If this is how the rest of his reign was going to be Szarekh would have been happy.

Unfortunately, this is about the time when things start breaking down on the Old One front. Nobody’s really clear what happened. The Necrontyr say the Old Ones are a bunch of delusional maniacs who play God with the rest of the universe. The Old Ones say the Necrontyr are a bunch of greedy upstarts who want everything but know nothing. War is declared.

Bad move. Regardless of who has the moral high ground in this situation the Old Ones are still on a level of technology the Necrontyr are only barely able to grasp. The half-material, half-immaterial lizard wizards beat the Necrontyr back to their core territories within a year (few years?), almost as a statement more than anything else. The Necrontyr have inertialess drives but that doesn’t matter much when only the biggest ships have them and the Old Ones can just walk from planet to planet.

Silent King is sitting in his chambers on the homeworld wondering if he’s going to be the person who signed the death warrant of the Necrontyr when a Cryptek comes in. They were performing studies on Aza’gorod and it turns out there’s something living in the sun. Something that’s giving off more power than the Old Ones, and could possibly be communicated with and drawn into a Necrodermis body to act as a weapon against them.

Silent King says do it. Then find every other star that shows a similar signature and to it to them as well. Despite first contact with the Nightbringer goes horribly, before long Silent King has a small army of star monstrosities. Name them after the old half-forgotten Necrontyr pantheon, because what else are you going to call them?

Tide of the war starts to turn. Mag’ladroth, despite being named after the Necrontyr god of oblivion, turns out to be a huge nerd and helps advance Necrontyr technology. Builds dampening devices to force Old Ones to fight on Necrontyr terms. Nyadra’zatha shows the Necrontyr how to strike at the Old Ones on their own turf. Old Ones start dying.

Old Ones get desperate. Start uplifting races with features they think will make good soldiers. Aeldari, Hrud, K'nib, and so on. It’s a bloodbath. Mephet’ran comes to Silent King and says Mag’ladroth has an idea that will not only give the Necrontyr the power to win over the Necrons, but will make them immortal as well. Silent King accepts, not only for the benefit of the Star Empire but possibly because he also has a cancer in his stomach.

Biotransference happens. Silent King goes through it and realizes it was not worth it. But the C’tan-Necron alliance is winning. C’tan give Szarekh control over the Necrons second only to them in a sick parody of gratitude. War gets really crazy as the real reality-destroying superweapons start getting thrown around. The Old Ones unleash their greatest atrocities, Khorne and the Gorkamorka/Krork, upon the galaxy. Mag'ladroth and Vaul have their little scrap. Khaine kicks Nightbringer in the Necrodermis and chucks his Scythe (whatever that is) into the Warp. Mag’ladroth gets pissy about something and goes to confront his brethren while they’re in some [[Solar System|third-rate Old One genestock system]]. Never comes back.

Szarekh starts plotting revenge against the C’tan. First try: destroy Llandu’gor the Flayer with experimental weaponry. Despite working, is highly dangerous, almost breaks reality, and results in the Flayer curse. Need backup plan. Second try: convince C’tan to kill each other. Old Ones almost extinct at this point and the question starts becoming who gets the galaxy afterwards. Szarekh pushes Outsider to kill other C’tan. Unbeknownst to him Cegorach and Deceiver are doing the same for Nightbringer and the other C’tan.

Ends in a bloodbath with only Outsider, Deceiver, and Nightbringer standing. Outsider grows a conscience and multiple personality disorder from siblings screaming in his head and runs off crying. Deceiver and Nightbringer too out of it to notice when Szarekh gives the order to fire. Weaponry used was horribly destructive and reality-violating, but causes less collateral damage than whatever it was that killed Llandu’gor. Downside is shards have to be vacuumed up and kept in Tesseract labyrinths because they’re still active.

Now what. Galaxy is an uninhabitable shithole. Enslavers everywhere. No way to restore empire or reverse biotransference. No clue what happened to Old Ones’ toy soldiers. Orikan comes to Szarekh with an idea. He sees that sixty six million years in the future the galaxy will be at a point where the Old One slave races and whatever other species that have arisen since that time will be at an all-time ebb. If the Empire hibernates and wakes up at that point in time, they can steamroll the galaxy and reassert the dominance of the Star Empire.

Silent King decides to do it. Misses the alarm by five thousand years (oh come on, it was literally a .000075% error). And the rest, they say, is history.

== How Szarekh Killed the Flayer and the Drazak Dynasty ==

Szarekh most likely killed the Flayer by tweaking the universal constants of reality in a localized area (possibly the Breath of Gods? Who knows). The C'tan all seem to be tied to the fundamental laws of nature in the Materium in this timeline. Tweak the universal constants (such that, say, gravity or the electromagnetic force doesn't exist) and the C'tan ceases to exist (how can an energy being exist in a localized pocket where the laws of physics say energy cannot exist?) The problem is doing so requires a lot of energy to contain and if you're not careful is self-perpetuating as reality adjusts to its new constraints. The backlash could impose the altered constants on the entire Materium, and all of a sudden you get something like atoms no longer stick together and all you're left with is proton dust.

This is the reason why although Szarekh was willing to do almost anything to win the War in Heaven, he considered the methods used to kill the Flayer to be crossing a line (which is saying a lot). Szarekh wants to rule. You can’t rule if you and everyone else are a bunch of subatomic dust. Hence deleting the knowledge from the Necrons’ memories, so no one can ever do something this stupid again or potentially use it against the Necrons (but keeping the knowledge himself, just in case). And then going with the marginally less risky plan of breaking the C’tan into shards and putting them in Tesseract Vaults for all eternity. The only one who suspects what really happened is Trazyn, and that's more because he’s noticed the parts of his memory that have been tampered with and figured it out from there than what really happened.

In this timeline Trazyn ordered Valgul and the Drazak Dynasty to destroy the Flayer rather than Xun’bakyr, given Xun’bakyr was a raving C’tan fangirl. Hence why the dynasty is almost 100% Flayed Ones. There hasn’t been a lot on the Drazak, but it’s been suggested like canon Valgul was lucky in being the only Necron of the Drazak Dynasty who is immune to the Flayer Virus (or is possibly a carrier or is able to control his hunger). The only sane man in the land of the mad. Valgul still serves Szarekh dutifully, in part because he still has his mind and in part because this is Szarekh and having absolute loyalty over his subjects due to control protocols is kind of his thing. Nevertheless, he knows the rest of his dynasty are monsters and has no problem with the Silent King using them as disposable meat-shields and sowers of terror. Despite this, most of the Silent King’s Necrons dislike the Flayers with what little self-control they have, and Szarekh himself tries to avoid direct contact between his forces and the flayers because he doesn’t want to infect valuable officers and resources.

= C'tan =

== Nightbringer ==

During the War in Heaven, the Nightbringer noticed that he could get power through the fear and emotion of other species beyond simply eating them. None of the other C’tan noticed this because despite being worshiped they were being worshiped by the Necrontyr, whose souls (like the Tau) are a potato compared to the AA battery of other races. The Nightbringer did not share this discovery with the other C’tan because he is an asshole. Instead, he went on a killing spree, associating himself with the concept of death and fear thereof in the minds of every sentient species he could not be bothered to simply eat, using this discovery to increase his already prodigious strength, making sure no other C’tan could challenge his power. According to the old Necron codex (via Lexicanum and the 40k wiki) “It is said that it nurtured entire races to fear it and it fed on that fear”. The Void Dragon thinks he's the first C'tan to achieve a shadow in the warp. He's wrong.

And where is the Nightbringer now you might ask? Well, he’s shattered into pieces, but there is that one big shard on the Bringer of Darkness the one that…was released by Uriel Ventris. Thanks a lot, Ultrasmurfs. And his staff, which was another big chunk of him? It’s in the Warp. You know, that place that’s essentially a combination between psychoactive clay and radioactive waste.

Nightbringer's personality is said to be like Hellsing's Alucard without any of the redeeming features. He lives for the slaughter and that's about it. He wants to kill the other major gods and god-like beings of the galaxy because a god has no peers. His main motivation for using shards of himself to create the Nosferatu C'tan Vampires is to delegate the task of killing everything, for all the souls of the beings the Nosferatu kill eventually trickle back to the Nightbringer himself.

== Void Dragon ==

The Void Dragon is said to resemble a giant chrome dragon, slightly humanoid in appearance. The reason for this goes back to when the C'tan got physical bodies. The C'tan all started out with standard humanoid bodies, but then gradually customized them as they started to develop their own preferences and to distinguish one another. However, whereas some went with [[Deceiver|horns and glorious golden abs]] or [[Nightbringer|hooded death]], the Void Dragon went "Pfft, a completely customisable physical form and you losers keep essentially humanoid factory configurations? I'm going balls-to-the-wall customization on this thing". Much like the AdMech. It's one of the reasons it likes the Mechanicus so much.

The giant adamantium strips used to tie down the Void Dragon on Mars aren't actually what's keeping the Dragon restrained. The Mechanicum put them on the Dragon after they found it, the equivalent of putting a cheap bike lock on your nuclear silo to give yourself some peace of mind. The actual shackles of the Old Dragon are much more arcane and probably Old One in design.

It should be noted that the Void Dragon, regardless of how benevolent he may seem, is not “safe”. Not in any sense of the word. Like all god-like beings in the galaxy he has a duality. In this case creation and destruction. Penicillin and the atom bomb. The Void Dragon would build a doomsday weapon, not to use it, but simply to make one. And then forget about it or give it to the first person who asks because he certainly isn't using it. Information wants to be free. Despite actually caring about mortals to some degree, he's ditzy, scatter-brained, has no sense of subtlety or proportional response, and has a tendency to completely forget about potential consequences or collateral damage until after the fact. Case in point, when he came up with the idea of the biotransference he thought souls were some useless vestigial thing like an appendix that wasn't necessary for quality of life, being without a warp reflection at the time and not really getting what the Warp was. He was just happy his worshippers were no longer getting sick and dying, whereas the other C'tan were more interested in the souls. Cegorach informed him of this fact which made him realize he fucked up. Of course, he still wants to try it again, because <i>this time</i> he's <i>clearly</i> figured out what went wrong and <i>this</i> time it will work for sure (hint:probably not). "Necron 2.0" is high on Void Dragon's priority list along with things like "poke Eye of Terror with a stick" and "murder siblings horribly". Best case scenario he needs a baby sitter to keep him from doing something really stupid. Worst case scenario he ends up starting another War in Heaven assuming the galaxy survives the current crisis.

Early on in the War in Heaven Mag’ladroth, despite being one of the most physically powerful of the C’tan, was sidelined into building devices for the Necrontyr and the other C'tan. He had more of a taste for it, though the other C'tan all made fun of him behind his back. Among the things he invented were the designs for the Cadian pillars and other such devices. Sure, he made a whole boat load of what might have appeared to be doomsday weapons, but never as actual weapons. Case in point, he made a long range mega gravitation inverter. Charge it up, point it at a thing and press the ominous red button. It makes a portion of the objects gravity turn into anti-gravity usually resulting in an explosion and if you point it at a star can cause a supernova and irradiate whole swathes of space. He said it would be useful in future mining endeavors. For when you want to mine a black hole. Then the War in Heaven started getting serious, and Mag’ladroth had to be tapped. Not only did Mag'ladroth's talents of "brute, overwhelming force" become apparent to the point where his name became synonymous for "overkill" among the eldar, but the rest of the C’tan found out that just about everything he invented had a “kill” setting that he could easily switch on when he got serious.

The Void Dragon has no specific grudge with the hrud, eldar, and other Old One servant races. He does, however, hate the Old Ones. The C'tan got their shiny corporeal bodies in exchange for them fighting the Old Ones. That was the deal. On a more personal note, though, the Old Ones were beating up on the Necrontyr who had been so nice to the C'tan in giving them physical form. The Void Dragon saw the War in Heaven in the rather simplistic lens of giving the ones who had been bullying the people who had been kind to the C'tan down a taste of their own medicine. Everyone else is merely in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The fact that the dinosaurs on Earth were wiped out at the same time as the War in Heaven isn't a coincidence. When the Void Dragon went to confront his brethren in the Sol system, someone got [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicxulub_crater body-slammed into the Yucatan peninsula] (unclear if it was the Dragon doing the slamming or being slammed) before the Void Dragon was imprisoned and his carcass dumped on Mars. Sol was a backwater wildlife preserve for the Old Ones at the time.

===Cegorach's Favor===

The Void Dragon feels he owes Cegorach a favor. The Void Dragon was the only one of the C’tan who took the idea of being the Necron’s gods "seriously", even if his idea of doing a "good job" is warped. Cegorach was the one to point out that the Void Dragon was neglecting his godly duties by inadvertently lobotomizing his followers and letting his siblings use them as cannon fodder, in an attempt to sow discord among the C’tan in a prelude for the big betrayal at the end of the War in Heaven. Even though it worked, and the Void Dragon was taken out of commission early, from the Void Dragon’s point of view he still owes Cegorach a favor for letting him know what his siblings were doing to the Necrons. Indeed, it is quite likely that the Void Dragon is Cegorach’s ace in the hole. If things get really bad, Cegorach can just sic the Void Dragon on whatever the threat is. Then one of three events occurs.

1. Void Dragon and threat kill each other, problem solved.<br>
2. Threat kills Void Dragon, but is weakened enough for Cegorach or someone else to finish the job.<br>
3. Void Dragon wins. Although a free Void Dragon is not necessarily a good thing, at least he can be reasoned with to some degree. Alternatively, if Void Dragon is unstable and weak enough, Cegorach can finish him off himself.

So no matter what happens, Cegorach wins. It’s a very Eldar thing to do. Cegorach is probably one of the only beings outside the Mechanicum who knows where the Void Dragon is imprisoned, but he keeps that to himself and speaks in half-truths to anyone who asks.

===Void Dragon and Vaul===

Believe it or not, there is a rather surprising way in which a freed (assumedly pro-Imperium) Void Dragon might be able to exist in a post-End Times without the Eldar starting the War in Heaven 3.0: Vaul. The Void Dragon doesn’t hold any intrinsic ill will towards the Eldar and their gods (indeed, that seems to be more a Necron thing than a C’tan thing), and that’s largely due to Cegorach and Vaul. The Void Dragon is all about creation, invention, and innovation for its own sake, with little thought to the consequences. The reason it likes Vaul? It saw their famous battle less as a duel to the death, and more as two fellow inventor deities showing off and testing out their creations on one another, and wants to do it again.

Keep in mind that Vaul did not share the same sentiment about this (taking the battle as serious as it was). Nor was this a case of the Void Dragon being so powerful Vaul could not hurt him. Despite officially being a draw, the Void Dragon was beaten bloody by the encounter, and it was the closest he ever came to death before his brethren ganged up on him. The fact that he is actually excited about the prospect of doing this again should tell you volumes about the Void Dragon’s mindset.

If the Void Dragon ever saw the Eldar again, it would probably be giddy to see “Vaul’s People”, and excitedly ask where Vaul is. He would be devastated to find out what happened. Also mentioning the whole “chained to an anvil” thing would be a bad idea. Despite the fact that Vaul had no love for the Void Dragon, his actions may have won the Eldar a new (unwanted) replacement. Even though the AdMech may be his favorites, the Void Dragon doesn’t mind expanding his worshipper base. If the Void Dragon finds out what happened to Vaul, it might be the spark needed to turn the proxy war between the various gods into a bare-knuckle cage-fight Because while “technology”, “invention”, and “destruction” are all part of the Void Dragon’s portfolio, “subtlety” and “restraint” aren’t. This is the being that thinks tripwires attached to a low-yield nuke constitute effective "area denial" against infantry.

As a result, Cegorach might get the Void Dragon to fight for the Eldar and Imperium without even having to use up his favor. Truly the master of trolls.

==="Prophet" Courtswain===

In this Nobledarkness Senior Adept Courtswain is the person the Adeptus Mechanicus show into the holding cell when they want someone to prod the Dragon or ask it questions. Needless to say he is the lowest ranking of the few that know. He only even got the job because the men in the better grade of robes wanted someone expendable to prod the Dragon.

Now the bonkers is replaced by vexation and irritation at the stupid word games and slippery answers and worrying questions. Also Senior Adept Courtswain is getting quite worried. Mag'ladroth has declared him to be Prophet Courtswain. On the one hand you have the more senior tech-priests all slightly pissed off that he is held in higher regard, but at the same time glad they aren't the subject of the Dragon’s attention. On the other hand Courtswain is pretty freaked by the whole thing. When asked about this the Dragon replied:

''"Consider the following logic. You relay the words of your God to the lesser priests do you not? And you speak to your God on the comings and goings of your subjects. Do you not ask your God for wisdom and purpose and plead the case of the less worthy? Therefore, you are my little prophet Courtswain. I have chosen you".''

Considering that he is the youngest of those that know, Courtswain has also only just gotten over the shock of learning that the Omnissiah is also the Mars Creed's Satan equivalent.

So now Courtswain is, in his own opinion, the Prophet of Satan.

===The Feeding===

an event the Guardians of the Dragon refer to in hushed tones as "the Feeding of the Dragon". An Inquisitor stumbled upon enough cookie crumbs to figure out that the Void Dragon was under Mars. He infiltrated the inner workings of the Mechanicum and causes a ruckus, taking several members of the Guardians of the Dragon hostage. The Guardians tried to tell him he was wrong but he wouldn't listen, and rapidly escalated the situation to outright threats. As in:

"Maybe I won’t have to call down Exterminatus. Maybe I’ll just release the information of what you have hidden here on Mars and the Imperium will just call down Exterminatus by itself."

The Mechanicus were in a bind, they couldn't let the secret get out but an Inquisitor is someone you don't just disappear. Eventually they realized the Inquisitor was a corrupted radical, not doing this with Inquisitorial backing (which makes sense given how quickly he escalated things to violence) and was a member of the Hydra.

The Inquisitor had become obsessed with the idea that the Void Dragon had some connection to the origin of the Hydra. The Void Dragon was the Necron god of both innovation and destruction. Beginning and end. Alpha and omega.

Realizing the fallen Inquisitor was batshit insane, the Mechanicus decided the best course of action was to give the crazy person what they want, and showed them the Dragon. Upon seeing the prostrate dragon, the Inquisitor fell to their knees and pledged their submission to the Dragon, exhoriating their beliefs. The Dragon didn't react as expected.

"A twisted version of that faith, to be sure, but there are concordances. However, you have caused harm and distress to my other followers beyond acceptable levels of tolerance. That will not be permitted. You have 2.2104 seconds to live following the end of this statement. I hope you enjoy this time."

It is not said what happened after this moment, only that the event was so disturbing that the Guardians of the Dragon refused to enter the details of it in their logbook. Some might claim this as a victory, the secret of the Void Dragon remained hidden and the person who had died trying to discover them was a traitor, rather than one of the Imperium’s own. But the Mechanicus did not see it that way.

They saw it as a failure. Because they had to get the Void Dragon to solve their problems for them.

=== The Dragon's Dreams ===

Although Mag'ladroth was unable to start directly communicating to people until the coming of the Mechanicus (whose tech-fetish synchronizes perfectly with his mindset), humans have received bits of its thoughts for quite some time. The Dragon is an entity of immense cosmic power, and Earth is the planet right next door. Each culture interprets said information a little differently:

* Europe and the Middle East see an entity of primeval destruction who hoards things and guards knowledge (Python/Typhon/Jormundgandr/Biblical Serpent/Medieval Dragon), unaware that the treasure being guarded IS knowledge.
* The Egyptians see a serpent of oblivion who picked a fight with a [[Nightbringer|sun god]] and lost (Apophis).
* The people of East Asia see a powerful yet benevolent force of nature and order that provides for his people (Long).
* The Mesoamericans see a serpent god who defied his brethren for having morals and got banished for it (Quetzalcoatl/Kukulkan).

Each only tells part of the story as the Dragon is trying to send its message through what amounts to a really staticky connection that fades in and out and is only half-heard at best, people fill in the rest with their own cultural experiences and the legend distorts through the ages. The Dragon doesn't even know it did this, it was just screaming into the ether incoherently for any kind of help.

It's even possible that the Dragon influenced the type of technology that humanity developed. Humanity seems to have more of a tendency towards use of cybernetics than other races, and while most of that seems to be the result of our own natural tendencies the initial push might have come from Mag'ladroth. Humanity didn't even know the Void Dragon existed until the Olympus Mons Brotherhood found it, the Great and Bountiful Human Dominion couldn't detect its tomb with Dark Age tech and the AdMech only found it because it was subconsciously directing them to its resting place. It's also possible that it only became more coherent if its bonds were jarred during the Iron War (say, by the psi-disruptor).

The disturbing similarities between humanity and the Necrontyr and the Krork have not gone unnoticed by some eldar. Despite the physical similarities and the fact that humans and eldar both descended from tree-dwelling, primate-like omnivores, humanity as a while seem to be evolving into something more Necron or Ork-like than eldar-like, especially if one looks at what augmented humans tend to look like. Built for durability and endurance over agility and dexterity. If humans (especially pre-spaceflight humanity) are roughly analogous to the proto-eldar as they were before the Old Ones came, then the human equivalent of a modern eldar would be something more like a psychic Sister of Battle or one of Fabius Bile’s New Men, built more for plowing through obstacles than leaping around them. And like the Necrontyr we have a knack for material technology, humanity’s “hat” before the Age of Strife was A.I., one they relinquished after the corruption of the Iron Minds and the rebellion of the Men of Iron (and is now picked up by the Tau). In fact, humanity right before the fall was a species complex composed of numerous different variations of organic and machine increasingly blending together to the point where complete breakdown of the terms was likely in the future if Slaanesh hadn't happened. Those eldar that do notice are hoping that the third time is the charm, and that their influence will keep humanity from turning out like the Necrontyr or the Orks.

=== Wyverns ===

In terms of how the wyverns fit into the universe, we’ve mentioned before how Nobledark is a universe well suited to RPGs like Dark Heresy and the like. C’tan vampires are more like a final boss following a quest of political intrigue. Wyverns are when you want to run a good old “slay the dragon” campaign but in space. Their durability also encourages novel solutions to dealing with them. Powerlevel can be varied by how much it’s eaten. In terms of tabletop, a wyvern is something the Necrons could bring along as a monstrous creature should a dynasty ever manage to wrangle one. Wyverns are your typical animalistic St. George “break stuff” dragon, whereas the big daddy Dragon on Mars is more like an eastern dragon, Smaug, or as mentioned before "eldritch robot space Quetzalcoatl" (with hints of Prometheus and Autocthon). So we get multiple types of dragons for the price of one.

I wasn’t sure where to state it, but the reason the Ad-Mech can seal these things is they have a limited supply of Necron Tesseract Labyrinths they pull out the minute they hear rumor of a Wyvern. In canon, the Grey Knights have a collection of Tesseract Labyrinths they use to imprison particularly nasty daemons, which they had to have gotten from somewhere. Here they got them from the AdMech who keep their own stash handy in case they have to bury any of their dirty little secrets.

The explanation for why didn’t they try using this on Apep? They tried. The Tesseract Labyrinths were good at capturing the relatively straightforward daemons of Khorne, Slaanesh, Tzeentch, and Nurgle, but Apep is based on such contradictory Malalic bullshit it didn’t stick. In essence whereas other entities would try to fight the labyrinth and try to escape (thereby doing what the labyrinth wants by drawing you in deeper with paradoxical shit), Apep immediately did the opposite and found the exit, and so he basically poofed out of the Tesseract Labyrinth.

If the binding device created by the Old Ones were to be turned off, the Wyverns would probably all snap back into being heralds and extensions of the Void Dragon as a sort of single mind in multiple bodies, more like the other C'tan are now.

The Void Dragon might have plans to intentionally use shards of himself (particularly after seeing what his brother the Deciever has done) to help wean humanity off of that ridiculous little A.I. phobia of theirs. Specifically by using shards of himself geth-style to take over major Imperial systems as a pseudo-A.I.

It is doubtful people would find having a C'tan in their systems any better than an A.I.

Alternatively he might use them to keep tabs on people of note. This is assuming he doesn’t just go full Godzilla.

Also, looking through canon fluff, I found it hilarious that Saim-Hann’s Cosmic Serpent is basically exactly what we have for the Void Dragon in this timeline. “Pals” with Cegorach after Cegorach bested him in a game of wits and Cegorach earned a boon? Check. Exists in both the Materium and Immaterium at the same time? Check. Associated with knowledge? Check.

== Outsider ==

An idea trying to delete itself. As in canon, Outsider went bonkers following the C'tan civil war by all the minds of his devoured siblings screaming in his head, so he fled the galaxy to go hide out in his Dyson Sphere, and as a result he avoided getting sharded. Unlike all of the other C'tan, few know of him and so he has no warp reflection whatsoever, or rather about as much as an inanimate object. Outsider is trying to essentially trying to mentally divide by zero, because if he has no mind then there can be no split personalities to drive him insane. Unfortunately the more people know about him, the harder it is to reach absolute zero. Heck, the Void Dragon and Nightbringer still know he's still around, and those two alone is like a spotlight in his face.

Think of the Outsider like a really cranky veteran with PTSD. He seems zen and keeps to himself most of the time, but then you throw some huge ruckus and the next thing you know he's snaps and he's over in your yard getting in your face because you keep waking. him. up. A huge ruckus like, say, four huge galactic powers going to war with each other. Yeah.

The Imperium (more specifically, the Inquisition) has discovered his Dyson Sphere in the last few years (decades?). No one knows what's in it, and the few people who've tried to find out have died horribly, but that hasn't stopped people from wanting to go and find out what's in it. Which would wake up the Outsider. Crap.

== A Necron's Opinion on the C'tan ==

This was originally suggested as Nemesor Zahndrekh's opinion, though there was some debate over whether he would be coherent enough to remember it. On the one hand, he thinks everyone else is a Necrontyr or Necrontyr descendant and doesn't remember the Old Ones. On the other hand, robo-dementia isn't exactly logical and his mind already conflates some things (like he knows the Necrontyr went to sleep, but seems to associate that with the rebellions from the Second War of Secession rather than the War in Heaven).

'''Aza'Gorod''' - A nasty piece of work. Wasn't until the end we figured out it was he who was responsible for our persistent health concerns [This could be from Zahndrekh's perspective, as Aza'gorod was the first C'tan to get a body]. Would have been one thing if he was apologetic, we never knew if they could control what they did very much in their infancy, but he reveled in it. Said that we deserved our misery for the sins of getting ideas above our station, for not showing reverence and worship where such was due. We maimed him something fierce I think, reports from the end of the war were... confusing sometimes. Sunk his flagship and tore him apart. Left the pieces to starve and wither in a makeshift cage buried in an old ship five miles under the crust of some lifeless rock. That he's still alive and got out of his tomb keeps me up at night, childhood stories of primordial fears all wore his face and that's probably no accident.

'''Mephet'ran''' - Father told me he was the least awful, even sometimes decent of them. He was wrong unfortunately. He was as deadly as the others but it was a slow poison that tasted nice. He wasn't as strong as his siblings but was probably the cleverest. At least clever when dealing with people. We saw through him in the end and tore him apart. In retrospect that was probably counterproductive. There was talk in the High Court that he had been aware of things on worlds even in his infancy, took an interest in the intricacies of small interactions. We never knew who fired the first shot in the war with the Old Ones. Or at least we were never told. I remember in my youth one theory being this bastard pulling the strings from the start. It's all unprovable now in any case.

'''Llandu'gor''' - Tells you something when a king is willing to break out a weapon that could end all of creation just once. This was that once. It was called The Flayer for a reason and I'd much rather not talk about it.

'''Mag'ladroth''' - Out of all of them the least terrible. Dangerous, oh my yes. Possibly more than the others. Never really took an interest in us unless we were interesting but I think it cared for us in it's way. The things it made, terrible things of unfathomable destruction, were all made so that we could operate them. There was this one time when he made a gravity reversal device, point it at a thing an the gravity inherent to it's mass reversed. Point it at something like a desk and it just atomizes instantly, good way of getting rid of toxic waste. Point it at a black hole and star charts stop being accurate. He claimed it would be useful if we ever wanted to mine blackholes. Totally bonkers and unsafe to be around but he kept mostly to himself. I don't think he realized how fragile we were and I don't think he ever intended half the things he made to ever be used, he just liked making things. When we fought his kind we never targeted him. In time we would probably have had to do something about him but he just vanished one day and we never found out why.

= C’tan Vampires =
[[Image:C'tan Vampires.jpg|thumb|Strigoi and Nosferatu C'tan Vampires and C'tan shard.]]
*First created when a rather radical and eccentric AdMech Magos (Ralei or Magos Darvus from Xenology?) was approached by what appeared to be a minor Necron Lord who was interested in reversing the biotransference. This so-called Necron Lord was really a C’tan shard in disguise (Orikan the Diviner?)
*Magos jumped at the chance to be able to transfer his mind into a fully mechanical body, but things did not go as planned, creating the first C'tan vampire.
*The vast majority of C’tan vampires are formed from shards of the Deciever and the Nightbringer. Unlike the other shards of the other C'tan, who the Necrons are willing to unleash in worst-case scenarios, the Necrons remember exactly what those two did to them, and they don't even want to let a piece of those two assholes out. However, over millions of years even Necron technology will fail, and shards of the Deciever and the Nightbringer are loose once more upon the galaxy
*Necrons will stop at nothing to recapture shards of the Nightbringer and Deciever, and yet Szerakh never told the Emperor that free-roaming Deciever/Nightbringer shards are something he might need to be worried about, which was yet another sticking point against Imperial-Star Empire relationships
*Not capable of controlling Necron Lords or legions that are still under the command of a free-willed Necron Lord, but are capable of controlling "orphaned" legions whose Lords have been destroyed or damaged
*It is generally agreed that the two major Deciever shards represent the suave, cultured aristocrats that secretly prey on the common folk (see: Governor Takis). Nightbringer shards are undead monsters, though the most powerful of them are smart enough to know how to pretend to be civilized.
*Beyond that, there is still a lot of discussion over how the C'tan vampires work, and how powerful they are.
**One common point of agreement is that there is a physical shard of the parent C'tan somewhere in the host's body
**C'tan vampires can make more of their own by leaving splinters of their shard in their victims after feeding, due to the C'tan's fractal nature
**Another is that they are vulnerable to high levels of radiation. Sunlight works, but higher-energy radiation like UV, gamma rays, X-rays, etc., work even better, especially if the shard is exposed to it directly. What basically happens is the C'tan shard inside the host's body goes nuts and eats the host's body from the inside out faster than it can regenerate.
**The C'tan vampires are split into Strigoi, Lahmia, and Nosferatu. Nosferatu are pretty clearly Nightbringer derived, but the origins of the other two are unclear.
**C'tan vampires are also somewhat subject to the wills of their original sire (with the possible exception of Orikan if he is a C'tan vampire). What's really scary is the vampires don't know their free will has been compromised. They think they're making decisions of their own free will but they are often being subtly manipulated into following the whims of the original C'tan.
**C'tan vampires range in power depending on age and how many people they've eaten (the two are not unrelated). The oldest and most powerful are like a cross between Dracula and [http://metalgear.wikia.com/wiki/Steven_Armstrong Steven Armstrong]. Thankfully, vampires like that are really, really rare, which is why it's really important to kill them ''before'' they reach that level of power. The Inquisition has been prepared to use Exterminatus to wipe out C'tan vampires of that power if there is no other option given the danger they represent.
*[[Lucius the Eternal]] is a C'tan vampire in this timeline, having traveled out to the fringes of the galaxy and contracted C'tan vampirism after [[Nobledark_Imperium_Primarchs#Fulgrim|Fulgrim]] failed to deliver on his promises of giving him immortality. Lucius the Eternal is known as "the Eternal" for a very different reason in this timeline. Given that he must have contracted C'tan vampirism as early as M32, he's probably one of the crazy strong Dracula/Steven Armstrong level bastards by now.

= Tyranids =

The tyranid "strategy", if you can call it that, is to sweep through the galaxy from the galactic southeast (generally where they're making galaxyfall) towards the two biggest points of psychic energy in the galaxy. Which would be the Astronomican and the Eye of Terror. The specific path they are following is one left by the genestealer cults during the Genestealer Wars in late M36. When the Imperium noticed the path of the tyranids seemed to be following the path of the old genestealer cults, they traced the trail all the way back to the Segmentum Solar.

Battle of Ultramar wasn't with Behemoth in this timeline (or at least, the battle of Ultramar everyone thinks of), it was with the advance forces of the main tyranid Hive Fleet, about 200-300 years before galaxyfall. This is the time when the Swarmlord first starts showing up in tyranid fleets.

Leviathan's weird movement to approach the galaxy from below the galactic plane is a result of swerving around to try to avoid the Outsider's Dyson Sphere. This unusual movement is how the Inquisition learned such an object existed in the first place.

= Da Orks =

==Important Orks==

=== Ghazghull Mag Uruk Thraka===

Ghazghull was seemingly born too shrimpy for an Ork, when he was born he was almost mistaken for a Grot. However, in a combination of brutal cunning and cunning brutality, Ghazghull managed to climb his way up the hierarchy by taking down Orks an ordinary Ork his size could never do. And, since to an Ork, being "the boss" meant being the biggest and baddest, the power of the Waaagh! meant that Ghazghull too became the biggest and baddest. Eventually he acquired the title of Mak Uruk Thraka, essentially making him yet another de facto successor to the Beast. By the time the Imperium first encountered Ghazghull, no one could have ever known he was born a runt by Ork standards.

Additionally, unlike the Beast, who more or less accepted the aid of the Chaos Gods. Ghazghull is a hardcore Gork and Mork worshipper. Ghazgull is scarily insightful for an Ork. He understands how the Waaagh! works, or at least in terms of "If da Orkz believe dey iz gonna win, dey'z gonna win; if da Orkz believe someding'z gonna happen, it happens". He can actually speak legible high and low Gothic, but doesn't so people underestimate him. He sees how the Orks have been essentially manipulated into acting as cannon fodder by serving the wrong gods, and he doesn't like it.

No one knows this, he doesn't tell anyone. But the signs are clear to those who look. Ghazghull surrounds himself with Orks that hew closest to the old ways, whereas those who outright turn their back on the Gorkamorka are pushed to the side. They are not necessarily shunned, but neither does Ghazghull show them any favor. And any Chaos Ork who tries to take his place quickly learns why Ghazghull is the boss.

Ghazghull knows he could command the loyalty of the majority of the Ork race, if he promised enough lootin' and fightin' that is. But he also knows he can't take the forces of Chaos in a straight-up fight. So he waits. When Chaos assaults the Imperium, all he has to do is make sure the Chaos Orks take the majority of the losses while his forces stay clear. Then, when the Imperium, the Crone Eldar, and all the other factions have left themselves battered and bloody, Ghazghull can stab Chaos in the back and destroy the power of the rest. The galaxy will be engulfed in constant strife, with the Orkz at the top, as it should be. So Ghazgull waits, because "sometimez you havez to wait if youz wants to win".

* Big debate over whether Ghazghull is a Brain Boy (a la the Beast in the Beast Arises series), whether Makari is a Brain Boy, or both. Only things that are agreed upon is that one of the two is a Brain Boy, and even if Ghazghull isn't a Brain Boy he is far more clever than the average Ork. There have been many Beasts named among the Orks in the years since the War of the Beast, but Ghazghull is the first one to actually have the potential to come close to, if not surpass, the original.

The closest there has been to any sort of consensus is an idea that has been brought up several times that Ghazzy and Makari are both Brain Boyz, and Brain Boyz are almost always twins in the first place, one an ork and the other a gretchin (representing the twin aspects of Gork and Mork, cunning brutality and brutal cunning).

Ghazzy's been spending most of his time between the Fourth and Fifth War for Armageddon consolidating his power base. After the Fourth War for Armageddon turned into a stalemate that Ghazzy had to break off, some orks began to question his ability to lead. Loudly. Chief among these were the Chaos Orks, who saw an opportunity after years of being marginalized from power. Ghazzy spent most of the 100 years since the Fourth War for Armageddon krumpin' Chaos gits, blasphemous unions of WAAAGH! and Chaos energy. After cracking enough heads he's finally got the rest of them to stand in line and is coming back to Armageddon for Round 2. He's also been spending that time building alliances and gaining the fealty of other Ork empires like Dregruk, such that what was once a relatively small homegrown warboss is now a much greater threat.

==Random Stupidity==
I like the idea of ill-advised, enlightenment inspired attempts to reform the orks in panopticon style fortresses. Some sect of Biologicus techpriests, maybe an Order Psychologicus, could have Imperial aristocratic support for their attempts to reform Orcs. They might even have some less than great Seers in their projects, intent on recapturing some (imagined) vision of the old ones in which the Eldar could civilize the Ork. Mostly the project comes about from the recognition that Orks are more loosely held by chaos, the legends from the War in Heaven, and of course the belief popular among those aristocrats that Imperial Reason can clearly do better to sway the barbaric Orks than the madness of Chaos. None of the projects are so stupidly dangerous that the Ordo Xenos would need to crack down, and some of the research they're getting is really useful, but they can't really do shit to reform the Orks, and if they ever did the at least a few of the aristocratic backers would very quickly start trying to grow their own army of Boyz.

= Minor (non-Human, non-Eldar, non-Tau) Races of the Imperium =

== Watchers in the Dark ==

The overall theme of the Watchers is helplessness and their resilience in the face of that. As a species, one would think the watchers hit the evolutionary jackpot, having access to traits that most other species would kill for: namely complete biological immortality and being essentially immune to Chaos corruption. However, those benefits are counteracted by the fact that you have to spend all those millennia in the frail body of Orko. Being immune to Chaos simply means you get to watch everyone else around you go progressively insane and being all of a meter tall (shorter and weaker than almost every sentient race, comparable to a child of most species) means you have little to no power to physically resolve the situation. This can be seen in the Watcher’s efforts to clear Caliban. Despite being immune to the Warp corruption that permeated their planet, [[grimdark|they had no way to kill the Calibanite monsters that not even baseline humans could stand against, and so they were fighting a slow battle to avoid extinction until the Dark Angels showed up]] (which is why the Watchers were so grateful to them). Nevertheless, despite their limited ability to change things, [[hobbit|that doesn’t stop the Watchers from doing whatever they can to make things better with their limited power]].

== Tarellian Confederacy ==

Anon's Note: "I started getting some of these ideas when someone in an old thread asked if there were [[lizardmen]] in 40k. Given that in Lizardmen culture is heavily inspired by several Native American cultures, and the Tarellians are essentially their 40k counterparts (the Tarellians are often called Dog Soldiers, for god’s sake), I thought we could build on that angle. Originally, I was thinking that like in Warhammer Fantasy, the Tarellians have some sort of connection to the Old Ones. Either distant descendants who have developed sentience again All Tomorrows style or another species the Old Ones had a hand in like the Eldar or Orks, only native to the Old Ones’ homeworld. The Tarellians know nothing about the accomplishments of their ancestors or their lost technology, much like it was once thought the modern descendants of the Mississippian Mound Builders were not aware that their ancestors had built the mounds they lived around (though in reality the truth is a bit different). Of course, this being 40k, “loss of technology” means being reduced from being a near god-like species to merely a star-faring one. However, because we’ve established the Old Ones are distinctly amphibian and/or semi-aquatic, I don’t think this would work. I think it also ties too many species to the War in Heaven, rather than having new species arise post-War in Heaven."

When the Tarellians spread out from their homeworld, they developed a number of highly divergent cultures on the planets they lived on. Tarellians also range wildly in body size based on planet, Tau-sized to slightly taller than a baseline human. Even during their most unified periods, Tarellian culture and social norms could vary wildly depending on the planet. Hence the Tarellian Confederacy, instead of the Tarellian Republic or the Tarellian Empire. Nevertheless, there are enough cultural similarities between them that the Tarellan cultures see themselves as distinctly Tarellian, much like the different Greek or Mesoamerican city-states saw themselves as a distinct cultural unit.

Of course, it’s entirely possible that there are many different groups of lizardmen out there in the galaxy, of which the Tarellians are but the best known because they developed the most extensive interstellar network. The Imperium, lacking imagination, might refer to the species as a whole as Tarellians even though the term only really applies to the Tarellian Neo-Confederacy.

Tarellians, like almost every other spacefaring species, were hit hard by the birth of Slaanesh and the Age of Strife. What was previously a unified empire devolved into a series of isolated worlds following warp storms preventing easy travel between planets. Many planets that depended on imports of food or tools from other planets outright starved as a result of this isolation. This catastrophe led the Tarellians to develop a survivalist mentality as they rebuilt their civilization. If a world couldn't sustain itself in the event of another Age of Strife, it wasn't worth settling. The same is true politically, hence why the Tarellians developed a confederacy (where each world could survive on its own if needed) as opposed to a more unified government following reunification. That said, the Tarellian definition of unsustainable is much broader than that of humans or Eldar, given the Tarellians' ability to survive in harsh desert environments.

Like some groups of Native Americans (Comanche, Sioux), Tarellians are well known for their mobility in war, able to march hundreds of miles from base camp in order to strike. The difference is that the Native American tribes did this through the use of horses. The Tarellians do this on foot. Tarellians originally evolved in an arid environment where they had to keep pace over shifting sand dunes and the uneven terrains of arroyos in extreme heat. Marching through a relative flat environment in balmy weather is a literal walk in the park for them. The Tarellians don’t really have riding cavalry, though they do domesticate heavier draft animals.

The other thing Tarellians are well known for is tracking ability. Tarellians are some of the best trackers in the Imperium. In contrast to humans, Eldar, Tau, and many of the other races of the Imperium, whose sense of smell is rather lacking, the Tarellian sense of smell is amazing, like some dinosaurs. Their eyesight is also pretty good, being adapted to track movement and capable of seeing in a slightly higher range of colors than humans. Their sense of hearing is about average, though.

Tarellians are sometimes referred to as dog soldiers because between their dinosaur-like snout and the soft frills at the back of their head, they kind of look a bit dog-ish. Tarellian are capable of flaring out like the frills of a frilled lizard and serve as emotional indicators, like facial expressions in humans.

Tarellians are mostly organized into hunter packs of a dozen or so individuals led by a commanding officer. The hunter packs can function autonomously (and are the “unit” of Tarellian infantry), but the commanding officer is part of a pack of about a dozen individuals commanded by a higher-ranking officer, and so on. I was thinking that they mostly used disruptor weapons based on old weather control technology like in the /tg/ homebrewed fluff. This organization is also similar to how Tarellian social hierarchy works. Each officer has a measure of land on their world and civilians to man it. Higher officers have a measure of land and jurisdiction over lower officers and some limited say in what they do with their land. They have no real clear cut distinction between civilian and military.

Anon: I’m not entirely sure why the Tarellians dislike the Imperium so much. In canon I get it because the Imperium virus-bombed their worlds, but here they come off as distinctly anti-authoritarian, even compared to people like the Tau. Maybe I’m reading too much into the already written Tarellian fluff, and there are plenty of Tarellians who are decent people and like individual humans and Eldar but just resent the Imperium trying to order them around as opposed to treating them like a member state. People just think the Tarellians are grumpy because that’s a stereotype. I do like the idea that the Tarellians get along well with the Tau because they respect the Tau’s resistance to joining the Imperium.

Other Anon: Due to their pack-like structure, they don't react well to outsiders having even theoretical dominance over them, hence their dislike of the Imperium.

''“Have you ever seen a Tarellian force move? I mean really, honestly move? The Tarellians are a desert-adapted species, who before they developed sedentary civilization had to be able to move kilometers each day, over poorly solidified sandy substrate, in extreme heat. Anything below 40 degrees Celsius is downright balmy to them.''<br>
''In battle, on your average civilized planet, a sufficiently motivated Tarellian force is capable of travelling over a hundred kilometers a day. On foot. You want to know why the Tarellian Confederacy never seemed to have much in the way of mounted cavalry? This is why. That’s the reason the Imperium lost the first few battles in the Tarellian war. We’d never seen infantry move so fast without air support before. One moment you’re fine and the next that force you thought was tied up on the opposite front is right in your face ripping into your flanks.''<br>
''That brings us to the second point, tracking. The Tarellians are some of the best trackers in the galaxy. Their sense of smell is better than any human, Eldar, or almost any of the other races in the Imperium. Their sight is adapted to follow a running target. The Arbites and the Vanus may be some of the galaxy’s best trackers if your target’s in a Hive World, but if they try to hide in the wilderness there are few better hunter-killers than a Tarellian hunter pack.''<br>
''So for God’s sake, don’t piss off the Tarellians to the point they come after you. Because they’ll chase you to the end of the galaxy.”''<br>
- General Hazan, informing an inexperienced young lieutenant why it’s a good idea to be nice to the Tarellians, circa M38.

'''Tikal'''
The leader of Tikal wears a feathered headdress similar to that [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montezuma%27s_headdress supposedly worn by the tlatoani of the Aztecs]. There is an actual reason for this beyond Tikal generally being Mesoamerican and Lizardmen-themed (though Tarellians in general draw more from northern Native American peoples like the Ancestral Puebloans, Commanche, Iroquois, and Cahokian Moundbuilders mixed with survivalists). Tarellians have frills and dewlaps like frilled lizards that indicate emotional state. Aggression and dominance for Tarellians is indicated by having the frill extended out as far as possible. Therefore, wearing a headdress like that is a constant signal of authority and who is in charge in the room.

Something that should be noted is that prior to the Age of Strife the Tarellians were not a confederacy, but a more centralized form of government. They really got screwed over during the Age of Strife as many of their worlds were dependent on imports of food and other goods to survive, and with warp travel being nearly impossible many of their planets starve to death. It didn't help that they already preferred planets whose ability to produce food was already very limited. When they started traveling the stars again after the end of the Age of Strife, they wanted to make sure something like their world starving never happened again, hence their survivalist tendencies and obsession with self sufficiency (and the fact they formed a confederacy where each world is nominally independent). They see the fact that Tau and humans set up outposts and mining operations on worlds that cannot sustain agriculture as highly foolish, as they feel another episode of mass Warp storms is all but inevitable.

==The Demiurg==

Anon: The Demiurg were the first non eldar/non-human xenos to join the Imperium in thanks for charging into an Armageddon War like Poland at Vienna.

We haven't really touched on them beyond that plus nomad traders.

It could be that their dislike of the eldar in general and Chaos Eldar in particular is born from their homeworld now being somewhere inside the Eye of Terror now.

Add to this that demiourgos is an old Greek word for craftsman. Also the Demiurge in Gnostic beliefs is a divine creator. Bentu'sin is the Tau name for the Demiurg and means 'wise-gifted ones'. Bentusi were a race in the Homeworld series, they were nomadic traders that were grafted into their ships. Both Homeworld and the first Dawn of War game were made by Relic Entertainment.

Add all that together and you have a race of nomadic supreme craftsmen that make excellent and wonderful things. They are low in numbers and it's possible that there is as many as only 1 of them per ship that would possibly put their overall population in the thousnads. They are grafted into their ships in body, mind and soul and operate their toys via their minds and interact with other people via robotic avatars.

Their god is/was a divine creator type being that they all try to imitate. I'm not saying it was Vaul but it was Vaul.

It is very possible that they were an ancient 'transeldar' off-shoot of the eldar race from millions of years back where the old pre-uplift genes resurfaced and they sprang up differently. Less psychic for one thing but more emotionally stable. Nobody gets to see them in their ships so it's hard to say for sure.

Their ships are mostly super-bulk cargo haulers with small but highest grade workshops built in and enough firepower to defend them. As their ships are extensions of their own bodies and minds they become highly customized and no two are much alike.

Prince Yriel has a Demiurg First Mate on the Hoec's Grace but nobody can tell for sure if it is one or if it is just something that they made.

Anon: The demiurg are organized into Brotherhoods, with one Bastion-class vessel often home to one Brotherhood. That implies a lot more than just one Demiurg per ship.

Anon: A brotherhood of Demiurg could be one Demiurg bound to their ship and a small number of apprentices/youngsters who aren't old enough to have their own ship-body yet.

The First Mate on Hoec's Grace could have been one that ran away due to the freakish aversion to being physically grafted into a living mountain of machinery.

There was a comment in an interview with some person at GW about what the demiurg look like. They said they are quasi-reptilian looking, with stone-like skin and crystalline growths instead of hair. A lot of fanlore has them as silicon based. So it might be that adding cybernetics to them is a lot easier than for squishy carbonites that have to have some kind of interface.

The difference in opinion between some Demiurg might be that while some see no problems with cybernetics, they see cybering yourself up so much you can't detach from the ship as overkill.

The Mechanicus must have a gigantic collective girlboner for them.

Yes, girlboner. They're fully aware they wouldn't be the man in that relationship.

To them yes, but the girlboner would also be shameful boner.

In many ways the Demiurg are all that they dream to be. Free and unbound each a law unto themselves but still acting decently, communion and connection to the Machine as deep and intertwined as anything the Mechnaicus could achieve in this age, freed from the limitations of the flesh all but totally but still retaining a natural intellect and not falling to the sin of the Silica Animus and add to that craftsmen almost without peer.

But they are godless and they are heathens. They had a god, some primitive idol of a blacksmiths forge grown with age to gross proportion, but now he is dead and they are alone. There are some similarities with the Vaul deity of the pagan eldar, maybe there is a connection of cultural contamination but what of it? That's just exchanging one type of weakness for another. The Mechanicus have a god, the great and everlasting Omnissiah and they feel his love and his strength within him always (Laughing_Mag'ladroth.holo).

The hate that they look up to the Demiurg and they hate that the Demiurg are what they want to be but have forsaken everything that they are.

As for the Demiurg, they hold no ill will to Mars or it's priests or it's reject priests. Mostly because they don't have to interact with them very much.

==The Enoulians==

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%"> '''''Another War for Nothing:'''''

The Enoulians are a race of amphibian-like humanoids located on the far northwest of the galactic rim in the Halo Stars. Denizens of the bogs and the forests, their standard of living seemed odd by Imperial standards. They dressed in simple robes and tunics, and one could mistake their technology for a much more primitive species if one did not look closely at the quality and make of their implements, much like the Kroot. And although they had advanced enough technology to build spaceships, out in the galactic rim the stars are clustered and otherwise far apart and they had little reason to ever want to go anywhere. At some point the Enoulians were attacked by a mixed Blood Pact-Crone Eldar group doing a remarkably good impression of an Imperial Crusade.

They attack the Enoulian Benevolent Commonwealth and take special care to butcher as many of their people on the outer and mid-range colonies whilst leaving much of the machinery and infrastructure intact or only minimally damaged. They then feign crippling losses and "retreat" in the direction of the Imperial Border.

Enoulians get their shit back together, retake their broken colonies and switch to a hyper-militarized war economy. They had defeated the Imperium once when they were just trying to live, they could sure as shit rectally ravage them if they were geared up for a fight.

They are also contacted by a lesser kabal of Dark Eldar who hadn't been involved with the original shenanigans but thought it was fucking hilarious. They claim to be a group of poor refugee descendant eldar who had broken away from the Imperium some centuries prior to live in peace and freedom and had been mercilessly hounded and persecuted. As a result of their “[[bullshit| persecution]]” they were willing to give the Enoulians massive amounts of highly-advanced weaponry in exchange for sending all the POWs our way.

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

Enoulian fleets and armies, freshly augmented by Dark Eldar tech and weapons and thirsty for blood, come screaming out of the Halo Stars into the Imperium. They don't open channels, they don't demand surrender they just start killing as soon as they are in range to do so. Imperial authorities are totally unprepared for this. They knew about the Enoulians in a "those amphibian people out rimward. They're a thing". There hadn't really been any direct contact due to them being slightly out of the Astronomican's range and they hadn't been a bother to anyone.

The Enoulian Benevolent Commonwealth gets the early kills in at slightly less than estimated cost in lives and ships, exterminating entire star systems of Imperial citizens but leaving much of their things intact, repaying in kind what had been done to them. They intended, as they believe the "Imperium" intended, to colonize those mass graves and they would take Imperial worlds as compensation for the miseries heaped upon them unprovoked.

Meanwhile Cronedar and DEldar are giggling like little school girls about the whole thing.

Then the Imperial response arrives. The Enoulians then realize the depths of their strategic miscalculations. Those weren't Imperial war fleets they were sinking, those were border patrols, pirate deterrents, private security assets and convoy guards. And then the doubts start because these ships are only a little like the ones that scoured their worlds and if ships like this had done so they wouldn't still have a Commonwealth.

And they fought and they fought and they fought until the sky bled red and the suns wept and they fought and were driven back and they fought and were slaughtered, their dead buried in mass graves, their bodies drifting in the cold void beyond number, their lines pushed back and further back and further back still to the old homeworld and there they planned to die and sell their lives dear and die hard to buy time for the fleets of civilian ships loaded with the seeds from which to regrow to escape. Their elders who could keep the stories alive, the small hatchlings and eggs that would be the Enoulian Exiled and the wisest and most loving of their people to raise them and there the crushing fist of the Imperium halted from the killing blow and hung there in the inky black before the line of rag tag and half broken ships.

The Imperium had not been mindless in it's destructing and with ever battle, every, victory, every frothing at the mouth survivor they had been piecing together what had happened. Lord General Mauryon, Autarch of Craftworld Biel-tan and veteran of a hundred campaigns demanded that the leader of the Commonwealth meet with him on a small ship he had parked directly between the two fleets that they might discuss this whole sorry business. The Enoulians agreed but possibly the Enoulians were desperate and latching on to any hope no matter how slim for their world's survival or possibly they just saw it as a method of buying a little more time. For whatever reason the High Overseer agreed to the meeting.

Mauryon was no diplomat but as the head of a force outnumbering the opposition ten to one at the least he didn't really have to be.

He pointed out the blatantly obvious fact that had those original skirmishes been a genuine invasion effort the name Enoulian would be a footnote in a history book and he showed the High Overseer the evidence of the deceptions and pointed out the strength of the hammer that was coming down and offered a choice: fight and be defeated, their homeworld made into an imperial frontier world, his soldiers slain, his civilians subjugated, and his children raised to be loyal citizens of the Imperium. The other option was surrender and the Imperium would offer the hand of brotherhood, they would assist in the rebuilding of their worlds, in the reconstruction of their fleets, in the shoring up of the border defenses until such a time as the Enoulian people could again stand strong on their own webbed feet and in twenty years the two of them would meet in this place once more and maybe they would drink fine wine and discuss potential induction as a member state of the Imperium.

Twenty years to the very hour Mauryon of Biel-Tan met the now grey skinned High Overseer of the Commonwealth and brought with him a gift. The bound and gagged leader of the Croneworlders whose malice had brought such misery to the Enoulians and with him some of his surviving courtiers and functionaries. Their deaths, to the credit of the Enoulians, was not a drawn out spectacle but it was a public one.

To this day the Enoulians are some of the most fanatical combatants ever to fight in and alongside the Imperial Army. To them is often the honour of first blood. When they were first deceived they were a peaceful people eternally grateful for their location on the arse end of nowhere but the war has come to their doorstep and they now have fire in place of their lost innocence.

</div>
</div>

==Vespid==

Like the Tau, Kroot, and Poctroon, the Vespid are native to the Tau cluster, and were the fourth race to join the Tau Empire. Once effective communication was established the Vespid eagerly converted to the Greater Good, because as a eusocial species the validity of the ideas of the Tau’va seemed self-evident and the idea of designated roles in society meshed well with their philosophies. Given the only other races the Tau had encountered at the time were the Kroot (whose stance on the Tau’va was something like “yeah, sure, whatever”), the Poctroon (who they never were completely sure signed on out of genuine faith or a mix of desperation and gratitude), and a passing AdBio team, this gave the Tau a huge boost confidence in the viability of the Greater Good on a galactic scale (and really, in retrospect probably made them think that spreading the Tau’va across the galaxy was going to be a lot easier than it really was).

However, the Tau initially had a lot of trouble communicating with the Vespid at first due to their alien methods of communication and immensely complex language. Their brains are crazy looking with a huge portion devoted to sensory perception. Vespid primarily communicate through pheromones. Effective communication wasn’t achieved with the Vespid until the Tau developed communion helms that picked up pheromonal signals and translated them into electronic speech. Even today, Vespid primarily talk to other species through a designated speaker with a communion helm, the vespid talk to the speaker who translates what they are saying to non-vespid and vice versa. However, even then the helm tends to translate inapplicable concepts with the closest possible word. Vespid have three pairs of eyes which are thought to have developed through duplication of an original single pair, each set has become secondarily attuned to a particular peak in the light spectrum, giving them great vision. They also have some sort of pseudo-stridulation ability which they use most famously to stabilize their neutron weaponry. Vespid writing works through each pair of eyes focusing on three lines of text at the same time which interact with each other when interpreted as information/sound analogue, with occasional use of pheromonal ink. Music and poetry also has a coloured component which is further complicated by their much wider spectral range than every other sapient race.

Poetry and song are typically between one hive/nation and another as each nation is best to be thought of as a single entity.

This is why the Vespid had a lot of trouble recognizing the other species as sentient at first. By the Vespid’s standards, the languages of other species were too simple to be considered evidence of sentience. They looked at other species and thought "oh, they can't be sentient, look at how simple their communication is. Gas-floaters have more complex communication than them." Even the Tau, who can speak to the Vespid much better than any other non-psychic species, seemed like barking dogs by their standards.

It also would be that if the Vespid are interchangeable within their nation then their language would be different at a very fundamental level. For one thing they aren’t interested in discussing feelings. The have them but in any particular set of circumstances and environment every Vespid would feel the exact same. This isn't typical of native lifeforms on their homeworld so they assumed it was a prerequisite for sapience. The Tau confused them a lot as each seemed a nation unto themselves and only allied with their companions.

It is possible to speak with a Vespid, but it’s not a very enjoyable experience. They would defer any hard decision to a higher authority if at all possible and once you have spoken to one you have spoken to all others of their nation in effect. It's not that they don't have a personality it's just that they all have the exact same personality unless something horrifically traumatic has happened.

Funnily enough this makes them consider Chaos worshippers to be insane to the point where they are no longer considered sapient.

As Vespid see themselves as individually interchangeable, their names tend to be nicknames based on their role in society or the few distinguishing features they have. For example a Vespid might be known as "drone-that-tends-the-driftyfish-shoals" that for shorthand ease of use often gets abbreviated or combined with another distinctive trait and then abbreviated. If drone-that-tends-the-driftyfish-shoals had one antenna he could be known as Unbalanced-Fisherman or Lopside-Fish. All Vespid of a nation are by their own admission interchangeable with others of their function. they are quite happy about this so long as the nation prospers.

As a eusocial species, there are a variety of morphologically different vespid for different tasks. The big hulking forms everyone thinks of are the soldiers. There is the breeder and child raising form that are rare and highly valued and seen only by the most trusted of water caste in high pressure suits as they never leave their homeworld. The leadership and diplomat form that administrate and go on state visits. The worker and technician type who form the backbone of society. And so on.

The Vespid don't make sense to the Bio-Druids at some deep and fundamental level. Their biology is all wrong. It looks like they should be just some sort of giant invertebrate plain and simple but they don't work that way once you get the shell off. And they have gotten the shell off, Vespid don't hold much sentimental value for dead bodies compared to most other sapients and sentients.

Their native environment is the sort of atmosphere so dense that it's closer to soup than air and before the Tau visited them they hadn't even bothered going to the surface of their own atmosphere, there is no reason for them to be able to survive at the low pressure of an Earth type of atmosphere. And they can breathe it as well with little difficulty.

There is also no reason for them to be able to perceive light in the human range either as their world is shrouded in what is to humans perpetual darkness. But despite their islands being so deep in the pitch black soup they can see unaided just fine on the surface they had until a few centuries ago never visited.

Add to this that they have both an endo and exoskeleton, a combination that doesn't arise in nature as well as actual lungs and the AdBio are absolutely convinced that the Vespid are someone's creation. The Eldar don't have records of it so it's either not their responsibility or it was someone's pet project and any knowledge of it wasn't spread far and was lost in The Fall. They might be Old One creations but then they would have had to stay hidden and totally stagnant for 65 million years and they weren't stagnating socially or technologically when the Tau found them. Some fringe nutters try to claim that they were made by the Great and Bountiful Human Dominion to explore the insides of gas giants. This is possible and would explain why they can also survive quite happily in Earth-like environments, but although the GaBHD did have the capability they also preferred to use robots for such things.

They don't share anything but a passing genetic familiarity with anything else in their ecosystem, what little of it has been prodded by outsiders, their endoskeleton is some sort of diamond derivative rather than bone which is not shared with any other animal of their homeworld and they are freakishly strong compared to everything else around them despite being almost total pacifists without a sense of competition and with no history of ever having had a natural predator.

Of all this the Vespid at least claim ignorance. Historically they didn't realize it was not meant to be so and so never questioned it. Maybe they are artificial. Maybe they are not. It does not bother them. Very little bothers them.

Vespid are omnivores and eat just about whatever they want. They can eat the flesh of the other creatures floating around in their soup of a planet, and there are a lot of them especially in the places where there is an upwelling of krill and plankton analogues from the lower levels. Their favourite food is the nectar of the giant fucking huge lily pads that float on the layers just above where their islands typically bob around. They just drift around some of the largest almost a mile wide casting great shadows into the briny deeps. At regular intervals they develop great flowers on their undersides where the drifting creatures swarm to get that delicious syrupy goodness and the pads can spread pollen.

The nectar has an effect on the vespid not entirely unlike getting mildly drunk. It makes them happy but slightly stupid and less responsive. It's banned outside of their homeworld as to humans and anything that works similar to humans the vapours that it emits in an Earth-like atmosphere at room temperature are classed as a form of nerve gas. It is speculated that the nectar has other effects on their biology that are needed to maintain a healthy and functional population, some speculate that it triggers the breeding cycle in their queens and their attendants. Others claim that it is only consumed in religious ceremonies, a subject that the vespid have always been remarkably tight lipped about. The vespid are not forthcoming on the subject although the end goal of terraforming similar worlds to their homeworld seems to be the cultivation of more of the lilies rather than environmental needs of their own.

Other than that their diet seems to be varied. They can eat anything from cabbage to red meat, though they prefer anything with a lot of sugar in it.

It paints them with the image of a gentle giant type of creature. They can each and all get into a boxing match with a space marine and have a realistic possibility of winning. They look like the bastard children of a wasp and a gorilla. They carry weapons that can punch through tanks. They are the stuff of nightmares. Then you meet one.

There is no malice in those strange eyes. They step around ants.

= Tau Empire =

The first alien race the Tau encountered were the Poctroon, which have been described as kind of looking like Kerbals. However, about the same time the Tau made first contact with the Poctroon, the Poctroon began dying from a plague created by a Poctroon Nurglite cult. The Tau did everything they could to help, but having virtually no warp presence whatsoever they could never figure out the root cause of the disease and its unreal nature of the disease frustrated the Earth Caste and Poctroon doctors trying to cure it. Billions dying on such a grand scale from some variation on Nurgle’s Rot is felt by psychics for 500 light years in every direction what with it being a half-psychic virus. The Tau have no psychics of their own and so it fell on deaf ears with them.

The Imperium did have psychics listening. Not long afterwards a human in dark green robes turns up. This was the official “first contact” between the Imperium and the Tau, aside from a flyover by a Mechanicus Explorator probe in the equivalent of the Tau’s Neolithic/Bronze era which according to the Tau didn’t count. The Bio-Priestess, Mertilda, had seen Nurgle’s Rot before and knew the effects it could cause if left to spread. She had seen the dead rise up to consume the living and would have none of it. Despite the combined efforts of the AdBio, Earth Case, and Poctroon doctors, only 2% of the Poctroon population survived, surviving in the remote areas that were infected last. However, that’s still 2% more than would have survived otherwise. The adept remained on the Poctroon homeworld for a another 30 years, taking samples of local wildlife and monitoring for secondary outbreaks, before setting off back to Molech.

This was when the Imperium really became aware of the Tau as an emerging power on the Eastern Fringe. In the years since, the events on the Poctroon homeworld have been kind of propagandized in the greater Imperium. The Tau Empire, while not lying about the Imperium’s assistance, really play up the efforts of the Earth Caste in curing the plague while downplay the AdBio’s significance. The Imperium tends to be slightly more truthful, but tends to paint the Tau as having no idea what they were doing instead of people who did everything they could with the tools they had. In truth neither would have probably succeeded without the help of the other, the Tau having no knowledge of the root cause of the plague and the AdBio not having the manpower (a lack of manpower in the Imperium was probably intentional or laziness) and supplies necessary to effectively treat so many plague victims, and the people who were actually involved in the incident would be incensed that their efforts at saving lives were being turned into political bargaining chips.

It's also worth noting that the Tau of that time had a prominent member of the Ruling Council known as Aun'o'T'au'Acaya'Va'Denta, commonly abbreviated commonly to Aun'Va. Everyone assumes that the current Aun was named in his memory, but some in the Inquisition are getting slightly suspicious as there is a hell of a resemblance to the current Aun and the ancient predecessor.

However the Tau were not able to recruit as many races as they did in canon because the Imperium has more options for diplomacy with alien races beyond "die xenos scum" and had snapped up a lot of the independent Xenos races that the Tau would have otherwise absorbed in canon. In canon, the aggressive actions of the Imperium towards many xenos races, like the Tarellians, only serves to drive them into the arms of the Tau. Here it’s not the case. Nevertheless, they did manage to get several races on their side, including the Poctroon, the Kroot, and the Vespid. Notably, the Demiurge and Nicassar were not among these. Not that this stopped the Tau from carving out a relatively large interstellar empire. By the time of M41, if not earlier, the Tau Empire is larger than in canon, approximately the size of Ultramar. Being two of the most well-developed semi-autonomous member states, the two are rather close.

One of the biggest contributions of the Tau to the Imperium is the “Tau Drive” (name pending), the system of “skimming” the shallows of the Warp that the Tau use in canon. The Tau Drive is much slower than the average speed of warp travel (somewhere between a third to a fifth), but it’s much more efficient and predictable, meaning your estimated time of arrival can actually be predicted as opposed to being “whenever Tzeentch decides you’ll get there”. Tau are close to Ultramar politically, and so Ultramar was the first major region of space outside the Tau empire to get access to the Tau Drive. Tau drive technology revolutionized civilian travel and supply travel in Ultramar, turning into an unpredictable and dangerous journey into a much more predictable and reliable, if slightly longer, trip. Since then, Tau drive technology has slowly but surely been spreading throughout Imperial space, though it is still rare outside of the Segmentum Ultima. Widespread adoption of Tau drive technology would surely revolutionize civilian travel in the Imperium as a whole just as it has in the Segmentum Ultima. The only question is if the Imperium will survive long enough for the Tau to see their efforts bear fruit. The Tau Drive would be useful in another way: in-system travel. You cannot safely enter or exit the Warp in-system (events of it happening in video games are non-canonical just as the games themselves are). But, with the Tau Drive, you would be able to appear just outside a star system and then arrive at your in-system destination practically no time. Excellent both for normal long-distance travel and for military attacks or liberation fleets.

Before they joined the Imperium, the Tau had an A.I. rebellion. It has been suggested that this was the result of Chaos deliberately subverting the more advanced Tau A.I., because they realized that if the Tau managed to make A.I. work then everyone would realize that A.I. wasn’t inherently dangerous, and Chaos can’t let people have nice things. However, as with the case of the Men of Iron, the less advanced models of Tau A.I., the ones who couldn’t comprehend the overwhelming enormity of Chaos, sided with the Tau. The Tau still have their drones, and the most advanced of the A.I. that sided with the Tau serve as advisors to the head Ethereals (but do not have any official power, the Tau learned from that mistake).

The Tau hate, ''hate'', '''hate''' the Dark Eldar, possibly more than any other group in the galaxy. The Tau weren't stupid enough to agree to a "cultural exchange" in this timeline. However, the Dark Eldar took advantage of the numerous catastrophes the Tau Empire faces (including the A.I. rebellion, the Schism, and the tyranid invasion) to raid the shit out of them with impunity. The only Tau-Dark Eldar cultural exchange in this timeline is the liberal application of Tau pulse fire to Dark Eldar faces. The Tau saw themselves as winners of the War in the Webway (in spite of the fact that overall it was a loss or at best a pyrrhic victory for the Imperium) because the Tau saw it as revenge for years of Dark Eldar raiding.

One of the few rules that the Imperium enforces for all of its member worlds, including the Survivor Civilization and non-human powers, is to always pay the Imperial Tithe. For the Survivor Civilizations it functions more like a mutual protection pact than anything else. You send troop out into the galaxy to help someone else, or else provide equivalent munitions and supplies for the war effort, so that when a rainy day comes along and your planet is being attacked by Orks/Chaos/tyranids/Rak'gol the Imperium has someone to send to help you. The Tau Empire always, always send troops, often in excess of what is requested of them by the Administratum. They see it as a point of pride and a way of culturally posturing to the greater Imperium, by demonstrating how much more skilled Tau soldiers are than other species. Hence the reason why there are [[Your Dudes|so many Tau regiments all over the Imperium]] despite the Tau Empire being restricted to the Segmentum Ultima. The Imperium likes to use Tau regiments against foes who have found a counter, no matter how soft, for the traditional Guardian + Guard combo. Tau are well-known for their skill at combined arms, even compared to other members of the Imperium. There are no bans on combined arms in this timeline because there was no Horus Heresy, but combined arms tactics in most regiments are still rudimentary due to their sheer size. Tau armies, being smaller and more elite yet supplemented by copious amounts of drones, are much more skilled at combined arms and punch a lot harder than their numbers would suggest.

There are Tau Inquisitors. The Tau are heavily invested in improving their standing within the wider Imperium, and they know that having Tau in the Inquisition would mean a huge opportunity for political advancement in the Imperium. Additionally, failing to have Inquisitors of their own would mean dealing with more non-Tau Inquisitors, and the Tau would probably sooner listen to a Tau Inquisitor than an offworld one in a politically sensitive matter. However, the Tau have a little more trouble with becoming Inquisitors because of the Caste System. Ethereals in general get a free pass among the Tau because they're supposed to be commanding and investigating. The Tau have an unofficial sixth caste, the "Void" Caste, named specifically for Tau who do tasks outside the traditional five-caste structure. The term has meaning on multiple levels. Their affiliation with their previous caste is "voided" and they walk outside the traditional caste system in the name of the Greater Good. The derogatory name for them being Outcaste (barring Void Caste being used as an insult in and of itself) which has the connotations of being forcibly kicked out of society rather than being placed outside for a constructive purpose. The term "Outcaste" isn't just applied to Tau Inquisitors, Farsight is officially termed an "Outcaste" by the Empire. Despite doing great work for the Empire, Void Caste Inquisitors are often encouraged to stay in the Empire as little as possible because the Tau fear for their culture. Ironically, due to the truths and horrors Inquisitors are constantly faced with, it is likely that Tau Inquisitors wouldn't give shit about the Tau and would probably view them as just an annoying [[that guy|dude]] they sometimes have to deal with.

The Tau in the Nemesor Zahndrekh's accidental fifedom are unknown to the Tau Empire due to distance. They would probably get classed as proto-Tau or possibly Casteless. Or Yokel-Tau if the classification is done by a Water Caste and it's been a long day.

= Squats (Hubworld League) =

They were a survivor enclave of humanity in the mineral rich and often high gravity worlds near the galactic hub.

They were not assimilated into the Imperium like the regressed Mad Max/Fallout/Metro/Medieval worlds but given the same offer as the Interex, Ultramar and Colchis which basically meant free trade and mutual protection and no Chaos and beyond that we don't give a shit unless you try to leave, this is a permanent deal.

Because the Steward was the ruler of Old Earth and therefore the Imperium was the nearest that there was to a continuation to the DAoT Empire, came to them with an olive branch rather than a bayonet and didn't look down on them (metaphorically) they took the offered hand of friendship.

Also they were drowning in orks at the time and the Imperium was like a drink of water to a man dying of thirst.

Turns out they weren't actually deviated enough to be abhumans to the surprise of everybody. Their short, broad and sturdy build is just the sort of thing that happens if you spend your formative years in high gravity. Two Earth-born humans have a child on a Hub World and it grows up short. All the old Hub-worlder navy families tended to be of normal height.

They had a deal with the some of the nearby Eldar worlds in happier times. They would make for them trinkets of great intricacy and beauty that the Eldar greatly prized, it being one of the few things that they were willing to admit someone could do better than they.

In exchange should they need help keeping marauders from their door they had only to ask.

Age of Strife rolls in and the orks come. Hubworlders hold out for a long time, their pride making them refuse to ask for aid. Eventually they do have to send a signal for help.

Eldar are too busy drowning in cocaine and flesh crafting new orifices and appendages to fuck with. They don't care about prior agreements.

Hubworlders eventually fall back to their strongest fortresses and prepare to hold out for as long as possible. It's an eternal siege with no relief in sight. The might last thousands of years but eventually they would fall and they knew it.

Then one day The Steward of Earth turns up with a fuck hueg fleet and the Imperial Army and tear the orks into chunks so small the worms don't have to chew.

Just as they saw The Steward and his Imperium as the heir and continuation of the old DAoT Empire they see the Craftworlders as the heirs to their old empire with all the sins that they have inherited.

Possibly they would drop the grudge against the craftworlders if the Eldar either apologized or stopped pretending that the craftworlds were the remnants of the only good parts of the old empire.

But both sides are too proud to back down. The Book of Grudges will always hold their names.

Had longevity treatments but they would only implement them if they could be shared by all. The result was everyone got to live to be 220 and maybe a bit more. Contrast to the Imperium where almost everybody has a basic human lifespan but the exceptional can live to be a thousand.

Also the longevity treatments keep you healthy but they don't keep you young. Most of your time you send as a spry and quite well preserved old person, but still old. Consequently birth rate was slower than the population numbers would suggest at first glance.

Result is that their armies are lacking in brute man power but supplemented with hand crafted Legio Cybernetica. They argue that they have not broken the First Commandment because they are not true A.I. becasue they lack sufficient intelligence and are usually somewhere between a well train dog and cuttlefish in terms of brains.

Mechanicus still REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE at them because degrees of blasphemy is still blasphemy. Sadly for the Mars Mechanicus the Hub Worlds are a Survivor Civilization and so joined the Imperium on the exact same style of deal that Mars did so they can go fuck themselves.

The Martian Priesthood got some level of revenge by erroneously classifying them as abhuman. They aren't. They look like that due to the gravity on their home worlds. If they raise their kids on a world with weak pussy gravity they grow up to look like regular humans.

One of the biggest manufacturers of stuff outside the AdMech along with people like the Demiurg, the Kinebrach, and the manufacturing sectors of semi-autonomous member states. More artisinal, prefer quality over quantity.

This is just my two cents, but since it was mentioned that the squats don't make changes to their rejuvenants unless everyone can have them, I'd say this suggests the squats are communitarian. You do your job to help the community and the community does it's job to help you. This is primarily because of the types of worlds they live on, you have to be cooperative and altruistic to survive. Or does this seem too similar to the Tau/Prometheans?

Their leaders tend to be called administrators because they originally started out as mining colonies and although they're all about equality someone has to be in charge. They tend to make sure they have a way to remove anyone in charge that goes mad with power. Also despite this they tend to be very very good at appreciating the value of something, due to being miners, though they aren't merchants in the same way as the Demiurge or Void Born. Squats get insulted if you try and cheat them, but not to "Ev'ryone's getting grudged" levels.

As opposed to the stereotypically dwarfy way of speaking, squats sound more American Wild West (particularly mining prospector) than Scottish, though there are a bit of Scottish aspects to their personality. They're also known for being brash and no-nonsense, why beat around the bush when you can just tell things as they are and get stuff done. In cultural terms, this makes the squats seem like a bunch of cowboys and yokels but then you look at them and realize the stuff they build is on par with the Ad-Mech. The Ad-Mech have a slight edge because they collect DaoT relics as a hobby and so have a lot of lost technology as well as a huge resource base, but in terms of stuff they actually build the two are pretty close.

Building on what we said in previous threads, the squats tend to look down on those who live in "pussy" gravity. Not derogatorily, but more of "Ooh, look at the wee baby men who can't handle the gravity" kind of way. Growing up on high-gravity worlds means squats are about three-hundred pounds of muscle despite being four to five feet tall (numbers subject to change). Squats are no more different from an average human than a Cadian, but the few differences they do have are an increase in muscle building compounds and a heart like a V8 engine to compensate for the constant pull of gravity. You don't throw a squat. A squat throws you.

It was also mentioned that the vast majority of these changes are not genetic. It's just what happens if you spend all your formative years in high gravity. If two squats move offworld to start a family on a world with "pussy" gravity the children turn out more or less normal. The AdMech classifying them as abhuman was an intentional mistake to annoy them because the Mechanicus of Mars can be petty bastards sometimes.

Although the details of fashion are constantly ephemeral (especially in an Imperium that spans over 10,000 years of history), female Hubworlders tend to wear their hair in masculine, short-cut styles. In-universe this keeps long hair out of moving machine parts and hardsuit seals, though it's also a reference to the common idea in fantasy of male and female dwarves looking similar.

The main source of crime in the Hubworld League comes from what has been tongue-in-cheek called the "squat mafia", though in reality they have more common with the yakuza than the mafia (and needs an actual name in the Hubworlder dialect the name Pyrite Order was suggested for the mineral connotations). They think they're upholders of traditional values such as keeping society organized, orderly and happy when they're really a bunch of protection racket runners, drug dealers, smugglers and pimps. That said, they've been doing this so long they've actually started to believe and try to live up to their own hype. So whilst they still do a lot of shady shit they also do a lot of non-shady shit that ingratiate themselves to the population in general.. This tends to cause problems as it means their members tend to be "good citizens" and "such upstanding members of the community" that local law enforcement and the Arbites can't nail them on things, and those that do typically don't squeal.

The squat mafia run a wretched den of scum and villainy. Imperial law varies enough from planet to planet and there are so few global Imperial laws that you can get almost anything you want for the right price. This infuriates the Arbites to no end, as it's technically part of Survivor Civilization territory and they can't go riding in without really clear evidence of them breaking either local (Hubworlder) or general Imperial law. Making matters worse, the crime syndicates that run the place have a habit of collectively turning on people that do things that could bring the wrath of the Imperium down on them like make deals with the Dark or Croneworld Eldar or trade in Chaotic artifacts, keeping their own nose squeaky clean by legal standards and making it impossible for the Arbites to just shut the place down.

= The Interex =

The Interex had about forty star systems under their aegis at the time of Imperial first contact, not counting those owned by vassal states such as the kinebrach or worlds controlled but not occupied like the megarachnid homeworld of Urisarach. “Forty worlds under forty suns” is a common motto in Interex space. That said, the actual number of planets is a little bit higher than that, because many systems have multiple inhabited planets (usually mining worlds, fueling stations, or outposts that are subordinate extensions of the “main” inhabited world), and the Interex have occasionally lost through enemy action or gained through colonization, similar to how the 500 worlds of Ultramar are…closer to 200-300 (thanks, Urlakk Urg). So a more accurate (if pedantic) motto would be “forty or so important worlds not counting protectorates, minor outposts, and a bunch of dead worlds we once held but lost due to orks/Chaos under about slightly more than forty stars”.

= Abhumans =
In addition to true abhumans (which are separate subspecies), the galaxy is also home to numerous baseline human populations that are nearly identical to the rest of the galaxy but differ in just a few alleles originating in their isolation during the Long Night, equivalent to how human populations today differ in skin tone, the ability to digest lactose, survive long trips over water, or [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-altitude_adaptation_in_humans breathe easier at high altitudes]]. Some of these populations are distinct enough to qualify as distinct ethnicities, but are not truely abhuman. The purple eyes of [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Cadia|Cadians]], the exact same shade as the Eye, act as a natural filter against the unnatural colors of the Warp, spread through the population because those that had it were less likely to go insane and more likely to have children. This makes Cadians more Chaos resistant at the cost of a bit of Warp color-blindness. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Prospero|Prosperans]] naturally have a reddish-brown/orangish skin tone that is reminiscent of a strong sunburn, and because of the influx of refugees back in M34 “Prosperan Orange” is rapidly becoming a common skin color on Old Earth. The [[Nobledark_Imperium_Member_States#Interex|Interex]] are slender, pale, somewhat Asian-looking, and have big ears. Not pointy, mobile ears like eldar, just big human ears. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Catachan|Catachan]] are unusually tall and muscular which is believed to be from the majority of Catachan’s population being at least part Ogryn. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Fenris|Fenrisians]] have a small trickle of non-human genes in their system, the result of rare “one in a million” accidents where offspring produced from unions between a non-augmented human and a Space Wolf/Valkyrie don’t have the genes from the Canis Helix deactivated through Dark Age geno-copyright protection. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Member_States#Hubworld_League|Hubworlders]] have a few unique genetic mutations which protect them from heart failure in a high-gravity environment. Their unique stature is due to development in a high-gravity environment, but Hubworlders raised offworld look identical to normal humans. However, the minor differences in genome were enough of a loophole for the AdMech to classify them as abhumans out of spite, even though by that logic every human population not on Earth (and some that are) would have to be classified as such.

Another thorny issue that rarely comes up is that if anyone were to get a sample of pre-spaceflight humanity (as in, ''Homo sapiens sapiens''), "modern-day" baseline humanity (a.k.a. the Men of Stone) would have to be classified as a different subspecies due to the degree of genetic differences spliced into the collective genome by Dark Age medicine, including tweaks in the code to eliminate certain inherited diseases, reduce risk of cybernetic or biological implant rejection, digest proteins regardless of their chirality, prevent spaceflight osteopenia, etc. It's just like the eldar humans have assumed what is actually genetic engineering is natural because everyone has it.

== Ratlings ==
Because the Imperium isn't as xenophobic in this timeline, ratlings have been allowed to expand and have colony worlds all across the Imperium. This proved to be a lifesaver when Ornsworld, the ratling homeworld, was depopulated during the 12th Black Crusade. The loss of Ornsworld was a tragedy, but it wasn't fatal to the ratling subspecies.

Ornsworld is a world kind of like Earth, but with a lot more mountain-building and mountain-ranges. About the same time the Age of Strife happened, Ornsworld started going through an Ice Age, so the ancestors of the ratlings got hit with a double-whammy of being cut off from their technology base and being in the middle of an Ice Age. Ornsworld's extensive mountains didn't help, as all they did is provide more space for glaciers to grow and cut off the various basins and valleys from one another. Populations were isolated, and food and living space was at a premium. Like many species stuck in environments with little food and viable land, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insular_dwarfism the inhabitants of Ornsworld became smaller in size], and this period greatly contributed to the ratlings' behavior and culture. They're gluttons because evolved in an environment where you're never going to know where you're going to get your next meal. They tend to filch things because their ancestors had to hoard anything that might be useful to survive. They're really good cooks because their ancestors had to learn how to make terrible things palatable in order to survive another day (sort of like jellied eels used to be a food for the poorest in the U.K.), and those cooking techniques were passed on through families even after the ratlings were no longer on the edge of starvation.

About a thousand years before the Imperium arrived the Ice Age broke and Ornsworld got really nice. Large portions of the planet went from being covered by glaciers to fertile valleys that could support bountiful harvests. Basically a combination between the Shire and Space Austria. The ratlings, normally used to living on the edge of existence, exploded in population due to the sudden abundance of food and good living conditions. Of course, that was before the 12th Black Crusade and the Warp Hounds burned the planet down.

== Felinids ==

The felinids hail from the world of Carlos McConnell. It’s not clear if the name of the planet was due to a mixup in the initial paperwork reporting the planet, if Carlos McConnell was an important figure in the planet’s history, or both. Carlos McConnell is a wet, rainy world. Much of the planet is covered in some manner of rainforest, temperate rainforest on the large mountainous continents that mostly straddle the continent’s temperate latitudes and tropical rainforest on the volcanic island chains located closer to the equator. As a result, there is very little arable land on Carlos McConnell, and very few large animals that could be used for livestock.

One of the best source of food for a Stone Age hunter-gatherer society would be the numerous small game found throughout the planet’s rainforests. So it was really useful to have features that allowed you to track down and hunt small game, even if you had to climb up trees and tear it apart with your bare hands and teeth. And the domestic cat of Earth was the perfect murder machine to use as the template. In truth, felinids are probably as much marmoset-like as cat-like, as cats probably weren’t the only species that the natives of Carlos McConnell were spliced with and when you start to make a primate cat-like they begin to resemble a marmoset. But in the darkness of the 41st millennium, more people know what a cat is than a marmoset.

If you passed a well-dressed, well-groomed modern felinid on a hive city street, you probably wouldn’t notice that much was off at first glance. Felinids have hair everywhere but their faces, hands, and the soles of their feet, so their faces look mostly human. However, their eyes are very cat-like with slitted pupils and their ears are pointed, protruding and definitely non-human. Their canine teeth are also enlarged, though this varies between individuals. Felinids from the continents having bigger canines. They may be able to open their mouth wider than baseline humans, in order to use those canines to take slashing bites out of things. The lower incisors may be specialized for grooming like some primates.

Felinids tend to have a bushy mane of hair in both males and females, and very little facial hair. The mane is as much cultural as genetic, and is/was useful for keeping things from biting your neck. Their hands and feet both have retractable claws, the one on the thumb being particularly nasty. The feet are kind of like those of some ancient human relatives, where the second toe is enlarged to partially take over from the function of the big toe, which has become opposable. Felinids can wear human boots, but prefer their own footwear for comfort. The ankle joint can flex, allowing them to use their feet like hands to clamp onto trees. The tail is mostly used for balance while moving through the forest or climbing. Overall non-human enough that they aren't magical-realmy, but human enough that its possible to see why baseline humans are sometimes attracted to them.

Although still omnivores, a much greater proportion of the felinid diet is composed of meat compared to humans. This turned out to be a problem when the felinids decided to stop being hunter-gatherers and start rebuilding civilization. Although hunting small animals worked fine for hunter-gatherers, the easiest way to get enough protein to feed sedentary populations would be to get it from the sea. As a result, advanced civilization on Carlos McConnell mostly developed in the tropical archipelagos, where it was easy to catch enough seafood to feed dense populations and volcanic action made it easy to mine for workable metals. The diet of the more technologically advanced felinid cultures has been compared to the Tau, though rather than being primarily wheat noodles supplemented by a small amount of seafood like the Tau their diet tends to be mostly seafood with a little bit of noodles.

Overall, there are two distinct cultural groups of felinids living on Carlos McConnell. There are the aforementioned People of the Islands, which are more technologically advanced and have been culturally described as a cross between Japanese and southeast Asian cultures. They were technologically advanced enough that the Imperium did not see them as completely feral like the Ogryn and the Beastmen, but at the same time did not have space travel (feudal level). The felinids living on the more sparsely populated continents (the Continental Tribes) are still largely tribal hunter-gatherers. They have been described as being overall Wookie-like in culture, and tend to be larger and tougher than the islanders with thicker fur. There are stories of a rarer third variety of felinid, whether it is a distinct kind in its own right or a recurring mutation is debatable. It is the Saber-toothed Felinid. It’s what you get when you cross a felinid and a Nova-Ogyrn.

Although they can function in groups on their own, felinid soldiers tend to operate at peak efficiency when broken into squads and distributed among other regiments of non-Felinids. Organizing them is very much a case of herding cats. They generally get along with nova-ogryn better than nova-beastmen and get along with either far, far better than Fenrisians due to conflicting territorial instincts. Both islanders and tribal continent-dwellers have a nasty habit of trophy taking. Teeth, finger bones and vertebrae made into adornments is the most common means of this expression. They generally have an edge at trap setting, ambush and are considered a poor man’s answer to real assassins. They are shit at holding a position.

Much like the ratlings, although the felinids were once confined to a single world, they have expanded outward in the 10,000 years since and there are now felinid colony worlds as well as significant felinid populations on many worlds.

Carlos McConnell himself is a figure of veneration on the felinid homeworld, despite being an outsider. The felinids know that when Carlos McConnell discovered the planet he could have easily exploited them as a source of cheap labor, grease a few palms in the Administratum to make the planet disappear and turn it into his own personal fiefdom as has happened with many other Rogue Trader dynasties. Instead, he brought modern technology to the medieval-era People of the Islands and gradually exposed them to the galaxy in a way that would allow them to thrive. It didn’t hurt that he’d married one of the natives. That’s one way to make people not see you as an outsider.

Carlos McConnell is considered a Paul Bunyan-esque folk hero on the similarly-named planet, with all sorts of impossible things attributed to his name that are technically true, but blown out of proportion through millennia of tall tales. For example, McConnell is said to have put a flag on the felinids' moon by throwing it really, really hard. He did put a flag on the moon, but he did so by landing on the moon in his spaceship. Like a normal person. Similarly, they say he put a goldfish into the sea which grew into the sea serpents of the planet. Carlos McConnell did have a goldfish, but the correlation between that and the sea serpents is a bit of a stretch.

Although he didn't turn the planet into his own little mercantilistic fiefdom, Carlos McConnell did make the planet his base of operations, as he found no shortage of willing individuals who wanted to go out into the stars and bring back resources to support their families. As technology and wealth flowed into Carlos McConnell the planet’s inhabitants were gradually uplifted in technology, and skyscrapers gradually replaced the feudal castles of the old daimyos. Like all Rogue Trader dynasties, the Carlos McConnell started looking inward as trading opportunities dried up. Now the Carlos McConnell Corporation is a business power that rivals some individual megacorps on Kiavahr, selling everything from dried goods to acting as a middle man for Mechanicus products. The inhabitants of the felinid homeworld were always hunters, they just traded warpaint for business suits. This is more the case for the felinids on Carlos McConnell than anywhere else, the felinid colonies don't have the Carlos McConnell corporation to bankroll everything for them. The company’s mascot is a cutesy-stylized felinid tested by focus groups for maximum appeal (read: Hello Kitty-esque moe catgirl), recognized throughout the Segmentum Tempestus. Few people realize it barely looks anything like an actual felinid.

= Xenos Independens and Horridus (non-Chaos) =

== Q'orl ==
They are still a bunch of xenophobic zealots but the Imperium is willing to meet them half way this time and not prod them unnecessarily. They have been offered preliminary deals with the long term intention of bringing them into the fold of true civilization in time.

Every time, the Q'orl have refused.

Unless the Matriarchy of Queens is running the show then they refuse. They are the Master Race and although other peoples have their uses, they would begrudgingly accept, they are not true people. They are trained animals.

Only the Q’orl are may rule Q’orl.

The Imperium leaves them. The Emperor is taking the same view of them as he did Hy Brasil in ancient history. He is an immortal, he can play the waiting game. The offer is always open to them, they are the only ones standing in their own way and eventually they will realize their folly. In time. All things in time.

Every so often one of the Queens will dream of dreams once had by all conquerors but Alexander the Great never had Emperor Oscar to contend with. The Imperium and the Q'orl occasionally get in small-scale wars with each other (from the Imperium's perspective, from the Q'orl perspective it's a major campaign) but the Q'orl never managed to achieve a long-term foothold. They once managed to hold dominance over a multi-sector empire whilst the Imperium was busy fighting Da Bug Boyz of the Octavius Desolation. It fell when the Imperium brought back the pain train.

The the Imperium doesn't completely bulldoze them because they're currently not a serious long-term threat like the Orks, and they are willing to pitch in when Chaos, Nids or a big Ork WAAGH! come calling but that's mostly out of mutual interest and long term preservation instincts kicking in.

Assholes to the core and on the low end of the EVIL pool. Not a people you would turn your back on but not one of the Big Players either.

== Jokaero ==

The Jokaero are, in many ways, a lot like the Hrud. Not hostile, but at the same time not Imperial citizens because you can't can't get a solid agreement out of them. Hrud because they are flighty, Jokaero because the Imperium can’t get beyond basic communication with them (i.e., what you see modern humans doing with dolphins and great apes). They theoretically should be smart enough to understand some basic communication but don't act like it, to this end the AdBio have never been able to determine if they are animals or sapient people taking the piss.

Jokaero have been known to perform technical expertise in exchange for fruit, but it’s not as if a transaction or agreement was made. They just turn up and do things. Most people see Jokaero as essentially non-sentient animals that are genetically hardwired to make tools. People still don't try to use Jokaero despite being near-sapient test subjects outside Imperial law because multilasers.

Most Imperial citizens know of the Jokaero via a kids’ cartoon featuring a big friendly cuddly Jokaero as a recurring side character. He makes strange and unpredictable devices that generate shenanigans. People encountering them for real drop the cuddly and change friendly to non-hostile. They are big though.

Inqusitor Coteaz has a reputation of being the “Jokaero whisperer”. He knows full well that the Jokaero aren’t sapient in the way that other species like humans and kinebrach are, so in order to get them to do what you want you have to put things in their terms. Treat them like great apes that know how to make guns. You don't get the Jokaero to stay where you want them with cages or build what you want with threats. You get them to do what you want via positive reinforcement (as in, gives best treats in exchange for making stuff).

Coteaz' actual retinue also has a large number of kinebrach, who tend to bring their own raygun gothic style weapons. They get kind of pissed if you compare them to the Jokaero (they were *hired* for one, they'd say, or point out that if you were to call Coteaz' research "a barrel full of monkeys" you'd have to include humans in that count).

Coteaz himself isn’t even sure if the Jokaero are truly non-sapient or just pulling the entire galaxy's leg.

Their movements and migrations seem to him to be far too directed and deliberate to be purely instinct and fruit driven.

There seems to be something that has a vague ability to direct them down certain paths to where they need to be but hasn't enough direct control to dictate what they do when they get there.

Out of all the places in the Galaxy there are richer sources of food and more safety than in Guard regiments being deployed. But a disproportionate number of them end up there, right where they can upgrade shit in strange and unpredictable ways.

His own retinue is a prime example of this. There are far safer places to be and indeed they often leave him after a short time, but others always turn up.

And on rare occasions they have deliberately fought. There is nothing more oddly terrifying that watching a Jokaero fashion bizarre war gear out of scrap and then shredding Necrons and Chaos Eldar with hand held reality violations. It's the surreal terror of watching something harmless become horrifying. Coteaz has only seen this happen two or three times, Jokaero typically run at the first hint of danger. He has only seen it at all because of his extensive contact with them.

The rest of the Inquisition think that Coteaz has gone mildly eccentric with his talk of directed Jokaero behaviors because it contradicts thousands of years of what everyone else has seen. Sometimes Coteaz thinks maybe they are right, maybe he is just seeing shapes in the clouds. But then he sees one of the Jokaero out of the corner of his eye, not hunched over but standing proud, tow big black eyes like bottomless pits and something else looking back at him. He turns to look properly and the Jokaero slumps back into it's usual behavior and the thing behind those eyes flickers away and he can almost believe he imagined it. Almost.

If the Jokaero are sentient, it's not out of the question that they too made their own god, like the Orks, Hrud, and Eldar. Possibly some sort of scrap god or something similar.

== Zoats ==

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, there was an alien race driven to the brink of extinction by the tyranids. The Zoats, the original Zoats, knew that their day was done. Their galaxy was devoured and they the last pocket of meat were soon to be gobbled up. So they took what they could of themselves and turned the mutagenic properties of the Star Locusts against them. They infected themselves with a virus that when they were eaten would spread to the rest of the Hive Fleet and lie dormant until such time as the Hive found a new feeding ground and began to multiply again. When the tyranids got to a new galaxy and the Norn Queens began to grow a new batch of tyranids the Zoats emerged from the tyranids like parasitic wasps out of a host. Kill tyranid biomorphs and Norn Queen before lobotomizing a Hive Ship and taking off into the galaxy. One stays behind to suicide bomb the Hive Ship into another Hive or the nearest star if that's not an option. Other zoats ditch the hive ship, build their own from ceramics and tyranid flesh and then set out to warn the galaxy what's coming and to tool up like there's no tomorrow like the Silver Surfer before Galactus. Then once the galaxy is sufficiently warned the turn around and set out to build an army to sabotage the tyranids as much as they can before dying to the last. They've done this several times.

The Zoats are a sobering reminder that the tyranids are a very real threat and failure against them is not an option. They have eaten whole galaxies before and they have again.

It should be noted that the Zoats the Milky Way knows and loves are not the original Zoats (or are they?). They are tyranid bioforms made in the image of the Zoats. Their original ships were hijacked bio-ships, and even their newer Zoat-made ships are built with stolen tyranid bits. They are capable of interfacing with and using tyranid biotechnology and weapons, though they hate it and ditch tyranid biotech for other weapons as soon as possible. The modern Zoats are an infection made in the image of Zoat to be their final insult to the Great Devourer, living spite, a sad and terrible mockery of what their makers were. They take that and they run with it. Everything the Zoats do is to spite the tyranids in some way. It's the reason they're Xenos Independens. Sabotage a Hive Fleet? Spites the 'nids. Help an Imperial force fight off a splinter fleet? Spites the 'nids. Save civilians? One more life kept out of the jaws of the Great Devourer and therefore a middle finger to the Hive Mind.

However, they are not part of the Imperial military and they don't listen to Imperial commands. Get across how they can do something to mess up the tyranids and they'll consider it. They cooperate with the Imperium because the Imperium kills tyranids. Not because they like them. Not to mention that a lot of actions that spite the tyranids also harm the Imperium. Wake up a Tomb World to kill a Hive Fleet, despite the fact that it subsequently goes on a ramapage across the sector? Spites the 'nids. Attract a Chaos Warband to attack a planet with a strong Genestealer cult? Spites the 'nids.

They don't know where they came from, not anymore. The new breed of Zoat have murky memories of their progenitors at best, there was a limit on how much knowledge could be programmed via virus. It doesn't matter to them.

The Zoats present the Imperium with a dilemma. They are 'Nid but not 'Nid. They are sapient and sentient but they have no art, accomplishments of their own and literally exist to do nothing but fight and die and take as many of the 'Nids with them. They are a bizarre cross between pitiable and frightening. There would be dissenting opinion on whether they are people. The Zoat point out that maybe they are or maybe they aren't, but the point is academic so long as the Hive lives.

The Zoats have no idea what they'll do in the unlikely event the Hive Mind is killed. Maybe one day they will be Zoat again, or at least some sort of Zoat. Maybe, the Zoats tell each other, maybe once this is all over they can rebuild somehing in memory of the True Zoat. Maybe they can be real people one day. But not today. Today there is war. And today is a good day to die.

'''Possible Tyranid Origin'''

This was brought up in the threads, and while people liked the idea it was thought that making it canon took too much of the mystery out of the nature of tyranids as an Outside Context Problem. It was decided to leave this as merely one of multiple possible origins for the tyranids, possibly no more than a crazy off-the-wall AdBio hypothesis, hence why it is hidden in a block here. It's not like the Imperium would be able to find out either way. This could be where the tyranids came from, or it could be that tyranids are simply natural galactic predators writ large and the natural state of the galaxy without [[Old Ones|psychic lizard wizards]] to keep the worst of stuff at bay, etc.

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">

Few who fight the tyranids on the eastern fringe could fail to be aware of the Zoats, the race of six-limbed lizard-like creatures who fight the tyranids, seemingly renegade organisms from the Hive Mind itself, claiming to be the biological simulacra of another race that once opposed the tyranids in another galaxy long ago. However, some Ordo Xenos inquisitors and Adeptus Biologicus have proposed that the link between the Zoats and the tyranids is much more personal than the Zoats would like to admit. It is admittedly not a strong theory, built up from bits and pieces of evidence gathered together over the span of four millennia. Forensic archaeology is rather difficult when all of the pertinent events in question occurred millions of years ago in another galaxy. The Zoats themselves are silent on this theory. Whether it is because they do not know or because it hits uncomfortably close to the truth is a mystery.

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

Ages ago in a galaxy quite a ways a way there was once a race. A technologically advanced race, not on par with the Old Ones but maybe equivalent to the Necrontyr. Masters of flesh and biotechnology. As all races do after a certain point, they began to think seriously about the bigger things in life. Mortality. Inequality. Understanding their fellow being.

And so the race came up with what they thought was the solution. Upload everyone’s mind into a single interconnected network, free from the constraints of flesh, from which bodies could be created on demand. On paper it seemed perfect. No one would die unless they chose to. No mind would be forced inhabit a body it did not want to. Everyone would instantly be able to see the perspective of anyone else, creating universal empathy. And the network was ever increasing, ever growing, so not only would the race benefit, but they could bring their gift to everyone in existence. There would be no more death, no more disease, no more hatred. For anyone.

Naturally, something went horribly wrong. What should have been an interlinked network of independent minds collapsed into a single morass, differences between individual thought patterns blurring until only the most universal impulses remained. Eat. Grow. Reproduce. The subroutines designed to bring in fresh matter to power the network and grow forms for resleeving individual minds corrupted into the biotechnological equivalent of gray goo. The race had tried to achieve the singularity, and instead all they had done was go past an event horizon.

The only people to survive this singularity, which had suddenly become one in a very literal sense, were the people who refused to upload their minds to the network in the first place. They suddenly found themselves on the receiving end of a quadrillion gaping maws of what had once been their entire species, mutated into unrecognizability. And so they ran. And when they could not run, they fought. And when they could not run or fight any further, they used their biotechnological talents on themselves, turning themselves into a genetic parasite which would hide within the network that had once been the summed minds of their brothers and sisters. They modified themselves to pop out and fight the tyranids whenever they tried to feed, in the hopes that some day some race will reach the point that they will be able to finally defeat and kill the tyranids. They fought the tyranids in their home galaxy. They fought them in Andromeda. They fight them here. Everywhere they go, they bring the same message to the same message to every race they encounter, in the hopes that they will heed their warnings and either flee or militarize to the point they can fight the tyranids.

“Run, for in our hubris the gift of our people has come for you.”

</div>
</div>

== Megarachnids ==

When the Imperium made first contact with the Interex, they found out about the Megarachnids, who the Interex had stripped of space flight capacity and quarantined to their homeworld after being unable to communicate with them and fighting an interstellar war with them. Given they had already proven to be violent and not open to reason the Imperium wanted to kill them, but the Interex stepped in and claimed them as a vassal under Interex protection, much like the Kinebrach. The Imperium wasn't happy about this idea, but given the Megarachnids were contained to a single world they told the Interex they would give them one chance. However, if the megarachnids ever got out, they would no longer be the Interex’s problem, they would be the ''Imperium's'' problem, and the Imperium wasn't going to feel bad about wiping them out.

At some point during the War of the Beast, Urisarach was invaded by Orks, who proceeded to get murdered like everyone else who set foot on the planet and got their ships stolen by the megarachnids. At least some megarachnids discreetly made their way off the planet, helped by the fact that both the Interex and the Imperium were too distracted by the War of the Beast to notice. The spiders are at large in the galaxy again, though they are staying as far away from Interex space as possible because they remembered what happened last time. Nobody has really noticed because it’s a big galaxy and the spiders are such a minor concern compared to orks, necrons, Chaos, tyranids, even groups like Slaugth. The spiders aren't even well-known enough outside Interex space for most commanders to make the connection between any minor xenos species they encounter to a planet on the other end of the galaxy. There may even be a megarachnid section in the xenos district of Null City in Commorragh.

== Sslyth ==

During the Dark Age of Technology, the Sslyth were a proxy/vassal state sponsored by the Old Eldar Empire for when they wanted to start a proxy war to take another power down a peg or two but didn't want to be seen doing it themselves. Unfortunately, when the Old Empire fell, the Sslyth got corrupted by Slaanesh due to their cultural and trade connections to the Old Empire and became the Laer. Some of the Sslyth saw what was happening to their people and decided they didn't want to live on that planet anymore and left for space. The rest of the Laer stayed on their homeworld of Laeran and, among other things, turned the gas giant their moon orbited into a giant fusion candle that they used to travel around and bring the good word of Slaanesh to the stars. It hasn't yet been established whether the original name for the species was Sslyth and then Laer or if they were originally Laer and Slyth means something like "people with common sense". Quite a large number of Sslyth fell in with Commorragh for the simple reason of the arrangement being familiar whereas others became pirates or mercenaries.

Another unusual twist of note is that it's quite likely the Sslyth, of all people, are the founders of the Diasporex. The fall of Laeran to Chaos being their event that made the founders of the Diasporex go "you know, it's kind of peaceful out in the void and all this Warp shit just messes planets up". There are enough of them with the Diasporex fleets that the Sslyth on Cherys were considered to be descended from a lost Diasporex ship. However, whoever the founders of the Diasporex really were is a lesson lost to history, the founders deliberately destroyed the records of who started the religion as a moral decision to not make Diasporex ideals about species or "who's in charge by dint of seniority".

== Rangdan Osseivores ==

The Rangdan Osseivores were immense titan-sized bio-constructs created by the Slaugth to dispose of waste meats. Although the Slaugth could eat just about any flesh, what they really cared about was the delicacy of the brain. Because of their wastefulness, this generally meant that when the Slaugth decided to eat one of their pen-raised sapients they usually just ate the brains and threw the rest of the body away. Some of the excess meat was used to feed the Slaugth’s other bio-constructs, but the majority of it went to the Osseivores. For most of their existence the Osseivores would lie supine, debrained body after debrained body being shoveled into their disgusting, prolapsed, tooth-lined mouths, like pigs being fed leftovers. The practical benefit of the Osseivores is that all that biomass didn’t go to waste, instead of simply decaying it was metabolized and incorporated into the Osseivore’s body. When the Slaugth were attacked all they had to do was tell the Osseivore to stand up on its massive legs and go to war, and all of a sudden they had a biological titan-sized entity ready to do battle with their enemies. The Osseivores were so powerful the titan legions needed the tactical edge granted by the eldar’s psychic titans such as wraithknights and warlock titans to give them an edge, which was one of the reasons why humanity and eldar teamed up to rescue the slaves of their respective species from the Slaugth (this being in the days before the alliance was cemented).

= History of Super-Soldier Augmentations in the Imperium =

In this timeline the Astartes were developed as a continuation of the previous Super Soldier projects that the Emperor, then known as the Warlord, began. As the Unification Wars progressed he salvaged the notes and recruited the adepts (e.g., Duscht Jemanic genesmiths, Merikan gene-hippy conclaves) responsible for the super soldiers created by his rivals and incorporated them into his projects.

Early Thunder Warriors and the more refined late Thunder Warriors were designed by the Warlord's people. The early designs of Thunder Warrior were blunt instruments that required constant medical care, a strict diet and drugs. And even then they were prone to serious psychological problems, organ failure and strokes. Angron was of this generation and it was considered a miracle that he lived as long as he did even with the best doctors the Emperor, then Steward, could give him.

Later designs of TWs were still a fair bit crazy but needed nowhere near the same levels of medication and only occasionally dropped dead for no discernible reason. Perty and Morty were of this design.

Early stage (Mark I) Astartes were made with access to the expertise of conquered/allied nations. They only required drugs to undo malformation from imperfect implementation of the upgrades. Astartes without the extras like poison glands, suspended animation, learn from eating brains, instant tanning or waxy protective sweat. Mentally reasonably stable.

The Canis Helix/Dog Soldier design was made during this time as a possible alternative to Astartes project. Scrapped due to increased mutation rate and the fact that it was genetic rather than due to implants, meaning it could be passed down if someone managed to crack the gene encryption (which would be bad, as the Warlord did not want a caste of enhanced humans ruling over the rest). Of the surviving successes Russ was the most famous. Russ resurrected the project on Fenris and after some...setbacks (introducing "wolves" to Fenris) managed to ironed out some of the kinks to the point where the Canis Helix was at least militarily viable (with the caveat that he only managed to get it to reliably work on people with genetic markers specific to Fenris). Adopted by no one else.

Mark II Astartes were made with help from the Orioc exiles and Merikan gene-hippies, and incorporated improvements form Fulgrim's reverse engineered Astartes Mk1 enhancements

Mark III S Astartes were the prototype for the modern form of Space Marine (the Mark III MP). Were made once Ducht Jemanic joined the Imperium. Outperformed the older models (as well as the Mark III MP Astartes) in almost every respect, but were more expensive, more time consuming, and potential candidates were at least an order of magnitude smaller due to compatibility issues. Only used by three institutions: Grey Knights, Custodes, and (unofficially) the Sons of Antaeus. As a result, Steward told his various geneticists he wanted limit the improvements to reasonable stuff like bug fixes, reduced rejection, and slight enhancements from the Mark II.

Sororitas augmentations came much later, when the group became an official military order following the Age of Apostasy. Recieve discrete cybernetics and limited gene-forging. Essentially an army of Halo SPARTANS or Captain Americas (that is, an absolute nightmare for a baseline human, but still not capable of taking on an Astartes in a straight fight). In terms of augmentations, lean more towards peak human than walking tanks

Because the primarchs aren't artificially engineered demi-gods with gene-seed being specifically derived from each one, aspirants are often shuffled around based on aptitude and chapters are not as constrained by gene-seed availability. The only exceptions are the Space Wolves and Iron Hands, who aren't technically Space Marines, and chapters who deliberately cultivate mutations.

Adeptus Custodes are created from the same gene-seed variation that created the Grey Knights, the only other institution that officially makes use of it.

Their job is to accompany the Emperor and Isha state visits and given the size of the Imperium they are never not on state visits or surprise inspections. It's felt that they give a certain sense of class to the proceedings in their blinged out armour and the casual ease by which they carry enough badass to fuck up a city each.

When not standing around looking fabulous they are assigned to bodyguard other people. Various Sector and Sub-sector Governors, major hiveworld and trad hub planetary governors, sometimes heads of the larger religions, High Lords of Terra and a few others. Basically people who are so important that their death would impact Imperial stability. Or possibly people who are really important but the Emperor doesn't trust completely.

Imperial Army exists, and has various contingents of augmented soldiers and officers that are not Astartes, just as Space Marine chapters have un-augmented second-line troops and logistics staff. The Army is not automatically under the command of Astartes, or vice versa. Job usually goes to who has the most impressive record for managing and winning fuck huge wars rather than who has the biggest collection of ork trigger finger necklaces. Every Astartes behind a desk is one not on the field of war, where they usually want to be and what they were built for. Usually.

Broken down old relics who can't tread the warpath any more often take administrative jobs in the Imperial war machine because it's something to do that isn't completely alien. Also some space marines are just really good at it to the point where it would be a waste not to use them in such a manner, they are rare.

=Forces of the Imperium=

==The Commissariat==

Commissars represent a tangible tie for the foot sluggers to the Imperium of Man and Eldar. Some people in the real world have trouble thinking past their city/tribe/religion to focus on what's good for their nation. Take that problem, and magnify that to a galactic level. Guardsmen that might previously have considered the trip to the big city a long ways away are suddenly surrounded by technology beyond imagining, aliens they've only heard in legend, and worst of all, guardsmen that they're told are the same species as they are, but do everything completely wrong in the most disgusting ways. Some of those freaks have TATTOOS for pity's sake!

This isn't just the problem that the grunts suffer. Officers, graduating top of their class at the finest war academies on their worlds are forced to rub elbows with complete yokels that couldn't tell you the difference between a flanking maneuver and their asshole, or complete snobs that sneer at one another's credentials and undermine authority with their pompous arrogance. In short, for humans faced with the weird and unknown, they can get unpredictable. The commissar is there to ensure that every soldier remembers their duty to the Imperium, and prevent culture shock from harming army cohesion. Guardsmen regiments are given a great deal of latitude- they may specialize in their own methods of warfare, select their own uniforms, and create their own command structures, with the exception of the commissar. Every raised regiment requires a commissar, and every commissar dresses exactly alike, and every guardsman regiment is required to train and recognize what the commissar represents as the Imperium made manifest, the final word on matters of justice, and the last resort commander. Regiments across the galaxy immediately know that if all their native officers fall, they need to look for the cap and great coat to follow.
They do not rule, they do not follow.

They look over the shoulder of the rulers to make sure they aren't doing anything too stupid and they make sure the plebs follow.

They can't pull any rank unless everyone else with a real officer rank is dead. They can't execute anyone unless they are sure that they are acting in cowardice rather than tactical sense, they are obviously Douglas Haig levels of incompetence or that they are secretly on the other team.

They have no rank. They have very limited actual authority, although what authority they do have is terrible and terrifying. Everyone gets a basic anti-Chaos education, the commissars get additional training.

This time around there was no great and cast iron divisions in the break up of the old Legions. If you are part of an Imperium commissioned fighting force you get one of these scary fuckers traveling around with you.

It's not so bad, they are usually very well educated in the ways of war and they sometimes come out with good ideas.
Commissars still have their trademark “more lethal to their own troops than it is to the enemy” bolt pistol. However, in this timeline the purpose of the bolt pistol is less for morale-boosting executions, and more to provide mercy killings to guardsmen who are beyond saving and are in the grip of some tentacled horror or who have been corrupted by Chaos. The enemies of the Imperium, particularly the Crone Eldar, can kill you in a hundred different ways, but they can make you wish you were dead in a thousand. This isn’t to say that executing people for extreme cowardice still doesn’t happen.

Nevertheless, commissars are still people, and power still corrupts. Just like in canon, you still get the overzealous trigger-happy commissars who BLAM! their own men at the slightest hint of them stepping out of line and build their careers over the corpses of their fellow soldiers. The only difference is that in this timeline, if you’re lucky, those commissars get caught (or Catachaned) and put on military trial. Whenever a commissar gets assigned to an Imperial Army regiment, the Imperial Army troops hold their breath to see if they are going to be brave or insane. Sometimes, if they are particularly unlucky, they are both.

==Imperial Army==

=== Cadian Doctrine ===

The Cadian Doctrine, which is the most commonly followed military doctrine in the galaxy, basically boils down to digging in and mowing down enemies from range with massive amounts of las- and shuriken fire before they get close enough to engage in melee. This is fantastic for digging in and holding territory, and is especially effective against Orks, who love melee charges and whose accuracy in ranged combat is...spotty, at best. However, at the same time followers of the Cadian Doctrine have trouble taking ground. When attacking, the Cadians use mass artillery support with charging infantry to dig out defending enemies. Either that or they partner up with a regiment of Fenrisian Line Troopers, beastmen, Ogryn, Astartes, or other group who do excel in offensive action. Unfortunately, this makes the Lost and the Damned, who excel in close-quarters melee combat and asymmetrical warfare, a pretty good counter for the typical Cadian strategy.

The Cadian Doctrine is also effective because it is cheap. All you need is lasguns and lots and lots of people who can aim, no need for fancy sagittars, tough-as-nails warrior culture, special weapons, or elite troops/specialists. So it's possible for any regiment to follow the Cadian Doctrine, hence why it is often seen as the "standard", much to the grumblings of the Macharians, who prefer specialization and sending the right type of troops for the right job. Cadian Doctrine soldiers can also easily support other units such as Astartes, which makes them an effective force multiplier in just about any situation.

==Imperial Navy==

The overall motif of the Imperial Navy and void life in general is Age of Sail-style Wooden Ships and Iron Men (no, not those Iron Men). Like on a ship in the Age of Sail, life on a void ship is arduous, and you have to be constantly alert (on a sailing ship to make sure the ropes are all taut and the sails in the right position, on a void ship to constantly make sure the engines are working right). Overall, it’s a lifestyle that’s hard, but not so bad that the entire crew doesn’t jump ship the first chance they get and the people who live it actually take it as a point of pride over those who don’t. Wooden Ships and Iron Men is very nobledark because by definition it pits the wills and creations of men against the cold, uncaring forces of nature. It’s a gritty job away from civilization much of the time and at the mercy of the "elements" so to speak, where a rogue storm could wreck your ship at any time if you're not careful. That's not to say the bad parts of the Age of Sail, such as mutinies, harsh discipline, and the occasional unauthorized press-ganging don't happen though.

The Mechanicus let a little more of the basic technology out (i.e., autoloaders), at least in part because they have competition with the other semi-autonomous member states and can’t act like complete assholes or else people will go to the Tau, Demiurge, Kinebrach, squats, etc. However, autoloaders can break and the crew are all trained to readily load munitions in by hand or pulley if they have to. So it's less a thousand slaves pulling a macrocannon into place with whips and more a dozen guys hoisting the cannon into alignment with ropes and pulleys.

The Voidborn, the original source of the ships and crew of the Imperial Navy, are becoming an increasing minority in the Navy by M41. The Imperial Navy is increasingly composed of baseline humans, if for no other reason than sheer size and logistics. On the other hand, most of the venerable old Navy families are either Voidborn or have a disproportionate amount of Void Born ancestry (manifesting in being tall, or having big dark eyes, pale skin, or a receding hairline). However, all of the intermarriage between the Void Born and baseline humans has made them close enough to baseline that the Void Wolves and their successors can recruit from them (except Black Legion, who recruit exclusively from the Gate Worlds).

===Five Flagships===

*In the long run, the Five more than paid for the expense that went into them, but Oscar thought they weren't a big enough success to be worth completely refurbishing or commissioning replacement ships</br>
*Oscar didn’t freak out over the Rock and Terminus Est going off the reservation because the Dark Angels and Black Templars were basically doing what the ships had always been meant to do (patrol Obscurus and Pacificus, respectively)</br>
*Addition of ships like the ''Tomb of Horus'' to the Imperial Fleet as well as just plain old battleships meant the Five were no longer as important as during the Great Crusade.</br>
*Finally, it was becoming apparent to the heads of the Imperium just how big the galaxy was, and that the resources devoted to ship building was better spent making larger numbers of relatively smaller ships, rather than fewer, more heavily armed ships.</br>
*Left out the details of the Carcharodons' story of reclaiming the Nicor as that is better left to the Carcharodons' entry and there was some disagreement over what they are like.</br>
*I kind of liked the idea that the Terminus Est was still out there fighting the good fight as the Templar’s flagship, but people suggested otherwise.</br>

== Sisters of Battle ==

Notes on the general concept of the Sisters of Battle so they don't get forgotten. Hopefully this should not be here too long as an anon has this partly written up.

* After the Age of Apostasy, it was clear that the Imperium needed more oversight
* Additionally, there’s a problem with a large number of talented female candidates piling up who would have made good Astartes had they been born men.
** Gene-seed was in part reverse engineered from what little they could out of Oscar, who was of course male, and the researchers had a hard time figuring out what parts of the gene-seed were sex-linked and which were not. Sadly though no Women of Gold survived the Age of Strife that could be used as comparisons. Oscar didn't see a problem with this at the time, he had rather traditionalist views having been raised by Malcador and didn't feel comfortable with women being put in do or die situations that super soldiers would be expected to be in. And the fact that men are stronger than women and so there was no reason to spend precious gene-seed and equipment to produce inferior super-soldiers when the male ones tended to die a lot in battle anyway. Changing that would have meant further changes to the women which would be both an increase in time and expense and an increased wash-out rate to produce someone who was basically a man with a womb to then be augmented as Astartes. It would have probably taken decades or more to create a unisex geneseed, time the Imperium didn't have and wasn't worth the extra expenses and time.
** However, by the time of the Age of Apostasy, Oscar's views had softened a bit and it was clear that not doing something with them the was a waste of talent.
* Specific idea and organization for the Sisters comes from Sebastian Thor and Alicia Dominica (who was either Thor's bodyguard, turned from Vandire by Thor, or both)
* Ended up forming the Adeptas Securitas (but see below). Job is to act as internal affairs for the Imperium itself and deal with rebels, insurgents, cultists, and even the occasional rogue Space Marine. Also tend to be called up when Inquisitors need extra muscle, as they are some of the strongest soldiers the Imperium can field short of an outright Space Marine or pulling out even bigger guns.
** Bit of a debate going on as to whether the Ordo Securitas and Adeptas Securitas are the same thing (using the No Men Under Arms loophole because Internal Affairs needs reliable muscle), whether the Ordo Securitas is a separate institution and just works closely with the Adeptus Sororitas, etc. Even the name is a little loopy. Securitas is what was generally agreed upon in the threads, though there had been a significant amount of disagreement.
* Although officially secular, strong faith and/or political fanaticism are actually considered a plus for this line of work, as faith acts as a mild Chaos deterrent
** There are Reasonable Sisters of Battle, it's just the crazy ones tend to be better known. Indeed, the reasonable ones are known to play up their reputation in a good cop, bad cop routine to get people to talk.
* Receive discrete cybernetics and limited gene forging, much tougher than an Imperial Guardsman but nowhere near as tough as an Astartes (often compared to Halo SPARTANs, augmented but closer to peak human than walking tank)
** General rule of thumb is terms of raw strength, a Sister is worth about three unaugmented human guardsmen (and Sororitas armies tear through unaugmented troops easily), and a (Mark III MP) Astartes is worth about three Sisters or ten guardsmen. Eldar are harder to place, Guardians are closer to Sister level but Aspect Warriors are closer to Space Marine level due to bulking up from selective gene expression and extreme training (obviously more skilled individuals being more dangerous).
** Augmentations for Sororitas include things like increased muscle strength and bone density, microdermal mesh, artificial glands that produce endorphins and artificial hormones. However the augmentations are discrete enough that the Sisters can easily pass as a normal human, albeit one that's a bit on the tall side for their planet of origin.
** Augmentation process also has a tendency to cause bleaching of the hair and possibly increases aggression (don't play with testosterone kids), though the AdBio claims the latter is a placebo effect due to the nature of the aspirants.
* Have a weird interservice rivalry with the Space Marines, who they feel a little resentful of getting the “better” upgrades and getting to fight the “better” enemies; really resent being considered “diet space marines”.

Some debate over the Dialogous, Familis, and the like, given that the Remembrancers and such still exist in this timeline. General agreement that they are associated with the Ordo Securitas in some way. Ordo Hospitalier was founded by a retired Sister who felt there had to be a better way to provide stability for the Imperium than suppressing rebellions with force and decides to focus on humanitarian efforts and treating the wounded (happy, healthy, and well-fed people are less likely to go to Chaos). The order retains close connections with the militant Sisters and a lot of crippled Sisters who want to serve but can no longer fight end up there. Anyone can join because fighting isn't an issue, but they tend to associate themselves with the Sororitas because their founder was a Sister. The Valkyries are an offshoot of the Ordo Hospitalier who readopted aggressive battlefield tactics due to their nature as first-responders and battlefield medics (as in, to heal someone sometimes you have to shoot the bastard standing on top of them).

There was talk of a not![[Valkia the Bloody]] in this timelime who's a Valkyrie that fell to Khorne.

==The Inquisition==

There are Eldar and Tau Inquisitors. Indeed, the Inquisitorial Representative is really the only position on the High Lords of Terra that can really be occupied by an Eldar. The High Lords hate the idea of an Eldar High Lord, because Eldar live for millennia and any Eldar that became a High Lord would conceivably be there a very, very long time. Of course, that doesn’t stop every other member of the High Lords from having farseer advisors whispering advice in their ears. And of course there is nothing stopping any Inquisitor from having an Eldar seer or Enforcer or a Tau Fire Warrior or Earth Caste researcher in their retinue any more than an Arbites or tech-priest.

The Inquisition, Eldar members included, also hates the idea of having a permanent representative on the High Lords, because there is a high risk of any permanent representative to the High Lords of Terra, even a human with rejuvenant treatments, is going to become heavily entrenched in Old Earth politics and gain too much political power at the expense of the rest of the Inquisition instead of doing their job. Instead, the position of Inquisitorial Representative is a ten-year rotating position, selected by a vote among the most senior members of the Inquisition. Generally, whoever gets elected tends to be the recognized expert on a particular phenomenon, so the High Lords have an expert on hand for whatever the greatest threat is to the Imperium at the moment. If it’s Chaos and daemons, it’s generally a member of the Ordo Malleus. Necrons or tyranids, and it tends to be Ordo Xenos. As of 999.M41, because shit is currently hitting the fan across all fronts simultaneously, the current Inquisitorial Representative is Hector Rex.

'''Hector Rex'''

Hector Rex was a failed Grey Knight aspirant that was shunted into the Inquisition’s service under venerable Inquisitor █████ ████████ of the Ordo Malleus. If there is one thing the Inquisition loves it's well trained and clever soldiers, the formidable and refined psychic power being somewhat of a bonus.

It is realized soon that Hector is quite clever and so Inquisitor █████ ████████ takes him on as an apprentice.

Much of his career would be much the same. He banishes daemons, prevents the formation of daemonworlds, builds a retinue and so on and so forth all the while adding notches to his hammer for every greater daemon broken, every battle won, every cult uprooted, every ritual stopped, every world saved. Also notoriously good at playing cards.

The Grey Knights' loss was everyone's gain as he has kicked more ass than he ever could have in that life.

The job of Representative is given, seemingly at random, to an Inquisitor Lord drawn from a pool of the best few hundred based on time served, successful missions and the nature of those missions, spotlessness of record, psychological screening and not having batshit monodomiant or some other dangerous ideology that's going to get everyone killed.

Also the job being swapped every 10(?) years makes it infuriatingly difficult for the more slimy High Lords to manipulate the Inquisition from the top down. If it was one man holding the job for centuries then they would start to get drawn in to the backstabbery and maybe the other HLs would get leverage over them. With this their efforts are wasted as you spend years trying to get the dirt on one of them and they they just replace him.

'''Commodus Voke'''

The Inquisitorial Representative before Hector was Commodus Voke, best known for his actions in the Thracian Gate Atrocity. The Thracian Gate Atrocity was a rather bizarre clusterfuck that involved Voke teaming up with two of the Imperium’s greatest fugitives: the APEX twins. The APEX twins weren’t directly responsible for the event, having been trying to keep a low profile on the world (indeed, when Voke found them they were eating ice cream in the crowd). The twins assisted in the cleaning up and mitigating the problem somewhat, though this is possibly one of the few instances that they have ever been in serious danger. By the time anyone got their shit together enough to look for them they were long, long gone.

Voke was the Inquisitorial Representative of the High Lords prior to Hector Rex. After his 10 year stint in the big chair he went back to his job but the urging of his friends (such few as he had) and colleagues to retire due to age and failing health caused him to find a compromise. He is now spending his twilight years as the Inquisitorial Overseer to the chapter Guardians of the Covenant

'''The Younger Generation'''

Although they are still centuries away from being in a position of seniority where they might be elected to Inquisitorial Representative, two talented up-and-comers among the younger generation are Tomb World-raiding Necron-expert Inquisitor Valeria, who managed to break into the heart of Solemnace (before being caught by Trazyn the Infinite and shipped back to the Imperium in a Tesseract Labyrinth, but hey she lived to tell the tale), and everyone’s favorite not-a-Dalek Ravenor, who unlike his mentor Eisenhorn looked into the abyss and didn’t blink. Both are way too young to have much influence, but anyone with a brain knows that Valeria and Ravenor are going to be two big names to look out for in the future assuming neither of them die. The power blocs are already starting up, but Valeria and Ravenor are actually pretty friendly with each other and neither would mind if the other ever became in charge, since each knows the other isn't a Fyodor-style lunatic.

==Knight Houses==

Not much has been done on them. The idea that has had the most traction is to take the somewhat noblebright tone of the 5th edition Warhammer Brettonians but replace the Arthurian myth with Ad-Mech techno-wizardry and toning down the over the top oppression of the peasants for a more nobledark feel (basically Bretonnians IN SPACE with a bit of [[Battletech]] thrown in maybe). Have them be guardians of feudal worlds and also the military aristocracy of more advanced planets. Noble in Deed and Name alike, they are a tireless foe of the Imperium's enemies. There’s a bit of irony when you realize the Knights are still screaming “for the Lady” in this timeline, only the “Lady” in question is Isha rather than Lileath.

There are also Chaos Knight houses. House Devine still fell in this timeline, though the battle of Molech went somewhat differently. House Devine could have sided with Chaos because Imperium was allied with the eldar. But they hadn't allied with the true eldar. Croneworlders were the true inheritors of their old empire and the only allies worth having.

There is even something running around that is basically the Nucklavee in space. Plague flame thrower breath, quadruped, spear arm and all the rest. Once a valiant knight of House Devine that upon seeing all of the bad shit and with some Chaos Eldar prodding fell into a state of absolute despair. Now rusted into being one with his half deamon machine he serves Nurgle.

= Grey Knights =

== Joros ==

It is not clear who the current head of the Grey Knights is yet (it's not Kaldor Draigo, who was the second Supreme Grandmaster after Janus and became such so early on that he identified Sino-Japan as his place of birth), but the Supreme Grandmaster before them was Joros.

In the final days of the War for Armageddon (it is not clear which one), he intentionally pulled the Changeling into himself to contain and, by his death, banish it. He was already wounded mortally by a Nurglite blade.

Although it is possible to summon the Changeling it is impossible to hold it unless you know it's True Name and given that True Names to daemons are linked to their form and Changeling doesn't know it's true form this becomes impossible.

Knowing that they only had one more daemon to hunt and that he was finished either way Joros came up with the idea of summoning the Changeling. All Grey Knights know, at least theoretically, basic summoning and binding. Although Changeling could not be held in a summoning circle it could be installed in a mortal body in a form of forced possession.

So that's what they did. Joros summoned it, forced it to possess him, had Librarian Umbrane and his acolytes ready to perform a banishing ritual with Logan Grimnar, who was at that time only a Lord rather than High King of Fenris, standing by with an axe ready to bring down to complete the rituals completion. Joros didn't want the guilt of it gnawing his brothers but knew that Grimnar understood the necessity of it. Grimnar took no joy, no joy at all, in bringing that axe down on Joros' head but stood firm and did his job regardless.

It all went smoothly enough, possibly The Changeling didn't anticipate that the Grey Knights would be willing to sacrifice their leader in such a manner.

The axe the Grey Knights provided for the job was Morkai, the one given by Russ to Magnus as an apology. The Knights handed it back to the wolves in thanks.

= Adeptus Mechanicus =

in this timeline the AdMech are more like “jerks with a heart of gold” rather than simple “jerks” like in canon. They’re assholes in general, but they actually have some redeeming features rather than being merely tolerated because they provide all the tech like in canon. Case in point the Veyna fiasco.

In canon, the Adeptus Mechanicus noticed the lakes of liquid hydrogen at Veyna’s poles, unilaterally seized the planet for their own use without telling anyone in the greater Imperium, and rounded up all the inhabitants to be worked to death in the nearest Forge World.

Here, the Adeptus Mechanicus noticed the lakes of liquid hydrogen, filed a requisition form to the Administratum to expropriate the planet because of its strategic resources (mostly as a formality of a heads-up rather than to actually ask permission), forcibly relocated the locals to a nearby planet, and then sold them their own planet back to them by offering them jobs working in the factories refining liquid hydrogen.

Is this an asshole move to pull? Absolutely. But compared to what they did in canon it makes them downright saints.

A lot of their assholish behavior is in part due to the whole thing with the Void Dragon and the fact that no one else knows it exists. Lower-ranking tech-priests buy the party line about technology and invention hook, line, and sinker. Higher-ranked tech-priests know about the scientific method and how their tech works, but avoid throwing their weight around because it upsets the pyramid scheme and everyone's terrified of potential influence by the Void Dragon.

STCs are still a sticking point with them. They consider them holy relics of their faith and will do just about anything to get a hold of them, even squabble with other member states. Imperium has a general standing order to turn over all discovered STC printouts to the AdMech, or at the very least give them a copy of the data, and otherwise stay out of the Tech-priests' way

Not entirely clear how they handle xenos. The general suggestion is they're equal-opportunity haters, believing themselves the only ones holy enough to handle technology. They don't care if the person mis-appropriating Dark Age of Technology tech is human or xeno. They want to bring technology to the galaxy (on their terms) to the point that everyone looks at them as the paragons of engineering (Red Man's burden), and they're frustrated that they have one hand tied behind their back by the Void Dragon in contrast to Eldar bonesingers, kinebrach warsmiths, Earth Caste engineers, Hubworlders, etc.

Tolerance of xeno tech is mixed. Less orthodox magi don't care or will look the other way. More conservative will REEEEEE until you stop using it. Planetary governor can tell the tech-priests to get bent but then they usually retaliate by sanctioning your planet, which is bad because AdMech make up 80% or more of all manufacturing. Only factions that can tell the AdMech to shove it and make things stick are those that can reliably make their own stuff like the Interex and squats. AdMech tread more carefully with these groups because they don't have a monopoly. Also because they're usually both Survivor civilizations and have entered under the same deal of relative autonomy as the AdMech, so the Imperium would probably side against the AdMech in this scenario.

Numerous factions, ranging from highly orthodox to reconstructionist/reformist (don't necessarily invent new thing, but spend more time trying to reverse-engineer things based on old data).

==Servo-Brains==
[[Image:Nobledark_Imperium_Servoskulls.jpg|thumb|Imperial Servo-Brains in both Mechanicus and Inquisition styles.]]

True servo-skulls of old are rare outside the Mechanicus and even then they are only common on distant forges, their techniques barely moved out of Old Night by the demands and Edicts of Mars. In the greater Imperium the holy provision allowing the manufacture of conditioned intelligences so long as they are founded upon the natural 'stone old' mind is seen as too valuable an avenue for refinement and advancement to neglect. Pushed by upstarts in the Ordo Cybernetica, the competition of the survivor civilization Hubworld workshops, the sovereign survivor power of Stillness, aristocratic engineereries across the Galaxy, and rumored workshops of the Imperial court hidden away on Cthonia, even the Martian Mechanicus has taken to greater investment in the flexibility, autonomy, and mental capacity in servo-skulls, to the point of the full resanctification of the designation Servo-Brain. Though no Servo-Brain is much more lively than a blank, they remain wholly sapient, and bear some shadow of their former character. Servo-Brains are enhanced with numerous advanced cogitators and memory stacks, vast archives, and sets of powerful narrow-scope pattern recognition cores selected for their work. They are immortal savants with minds and senses desigened for their work. The Servo-Brain has gone from increasingly advanced clerical drone, popular only among the Mechanicus, who had subpar brains to spare for the project to a contingency solution for bodily destruction in the lab, to the honorable and enhancing recourse of the sickly and dying among the learned and mighty.

= Love Can Bloom =

It happened in this timeline. However, the pairing in and of itself is much less noteworthy than in canon because, well, it isn’t heretical in this timeline. Taldeer Ulthran was a career militarywoman from Ulthwé who joined the Imperial Guard as a way to escape from the Machiavellian machinations of Sreta and the Ulthran cartel (an act of rebellion which, ironically, made Taldeer one of Eldrad’s favorites among his extended family). LIIVI was…LIIVI, except maybe a little less emotionally repressed than in canon. Both were assigned to a Cadia/Ulthwé regiment, one of the most liberal regiments in the Imperium in terms of human-eldar relationships, and so a relationship between them (beyond the issue of fraternization) wasn’t that unusual.

The fact that their relationship resulted in a natural, unassisted pregnancy certainly was.

A lot of people in high-up places are extremely worried about the significance of Taldeer’s pregnancy. Almost everyone who knows about it suspects that Taldeer’s pregnancy is meant to be a cosmic trial run for the Impossible Child, which means the actual Impossible Child might not actually be that far away. This is not necessarily a good thing. Although some of the Starchild Prophecies say the Impossible Child will usher in a new golden age, all of them agree that when the Impossible Child is born all hell will break loose. As of 999.M41, Taldeer’s child, Lofn, has not been born yet, and Taldeer herself is on maternity leave. However, since the setting effectively stops at 999.M41, anything past that point can only be said to be a possible, if non-canonical, future. Poor Taldeer, stuck in pregnancy indefinitely.

= Starchild Prophecies =

* Although the Starchild Prophecies tend to be highly variable, they tend to have a few lines in common, like the one about the (Void) Dragon. Many of the lines can be interpreted in multiple ways and it's likely that people in the Imperium might not have the correct cultural context to even get what they mean.
* About the only thing that are notably not in the Starchild Prophecies are the Tau and the tyranids. Tau because it continues their theme in this timeline of thinking they are much more important than they really are. Tyranids because nobody, not even the Starchild Prophecies, saw the Hive Fleets coming before they made galaxyfall; they are the ultimate galactic curveball.

= Miscellaneous Notes on the Primarchs =

I.e., stuff that is not covered in the codex entries. If we can fit it into the codex entries, please do so and remove it from this page.

* Several of the primarchs are confirmed to have families. Corax had a family that died to Ursh and was middle-aged by the time he became primarch. Guilliman had a wife and kids. Russ had numerous children, all daughters. Sanguinius had at least one son who also became an Astartes. Khan had three kids. Vulkan had a family, though the details of it have not been specified. This is not counting adopted families like Horus and Abbadon or Angron's.

== Angron ==

One major area in which Angron and the Warlord/Steward disagreed was on the topic of slavery. The Imperium's morals are not 21st century western morals. There is a lot of overlap, but slavery is one example of how the Imperium holds some views that would be considered anachronistic by our standards. Oscar and the primarchs all grew up on Old Earth pre-Unification, which had devolved into a third world hellhole where slavery was far down the list of bad things that could happen to you, below "human sacrifice", "nuclear bombardment", "used as raw materials for some Urshii or Pan-Pacific warlord experiment", and all the normal horrible things that go with constant warfare. The Warlord/Steward was willing to tolerate "less awful" forms of slavery, like serfdom, indentured servitude, or penal service. Oscar's goal was to elevate the wellbeing of the human race. If someone is better taken care of as a house servant than a starving refugee then so be it. He also didn't like to intervene in a world’s affairs unless they were really doing something that requires bringing the hammer down. As long as people weren't treating their servants as subhuman and beating or torturing them it wasn't worth kicking a fuss up over. There was also the Chaos argument. If you put people in slavery and make them miserable, then they might just turn to the Ruinous Powers out of spite, because at that point they no longer care what happens to them. However, to Oscar there was a clear line between indentured servitude or serfdom and the kind of practices that Chaos or the Dark Eldar practiced.

Angron strongly disagreed with this. To him a slave is a slave is a slave, and it doesn’t matter what fancy words you dress it up in to make it sound like it’s okay to you. The two almost came to blows over this. It never ruined their relationship, because for all their disagreements the two agreed more than disagreed, but it was still a wedge between them. When the Great Crusade came upon Nuceria Angron had a combination PTSD flashback/Thunder Warrior freak out when he saw how similar the conditions there were to the Nord Afrik Conclaves. Upon seeing the planet, Angron was reported to have whispered one word "[[Nobledark_Imperium_Primarchs#His_Early_Life|Nuceria]]" and went on a rampage across the planet. The planet wasn't called Nuceria before but it got the name afterwards, especially since there weren't that many left high up to protest.

== Lion El'Jonson ==

Lion had the same problem that Alpharius did in canon, being seen as the “kid” among the primarchs, as he was one of the biologically youngest primarchs along with Curze, Sanguinius, and Vulkan, and unlike these three he had not done anything particularly brazen prior to being named primarch. It didn’t help that Lion had the kind of face that made him look much younger than he actually was, even as a grown man.

However, this reputation is grossly unfair to Lion. First, Lion was Luther’s squire before he was named primarch, which meant he did a lot of stuff in some of the toughest warzones on Earth despite being a simple unaugmented human teenager. It’s just that most people don’t tend to pay attention to any heroics by the rank-and-file, much less their support staff. The Steward likely knew of Lion and his potential long before Lion knew he was on the Steward’s radar. And, while he may have been biologically younger than most of the other primarchs, he had spent several years constantly gaining first-hand experience handling the expeditionary fleet (compared to the more sporadic nature of the other primarchs), which meant by the halfway point of the Great Crusade he had reached the point where he actually had more experience than some of the older primarchs. He was also the best expert among the primarchs in what was actually out there due to spending all that time exploring space. When the primarchs encountered something they weren’t sure what it was, they asked Lion for advice.

Additionally, although Luther certainly took it that way, the Steward’s nomination of Lion as primarch was not meant to snub Luther. The Steward knew that Lion would almost certainly name his brother his second-in-command, so nominating Lion was like getting two primarchs for the price of one. However, because Lion was the better tactician, more level headed, and despite his social ineptness the more genuinely compassionate of the two, the Steward wanted the Lion to be in charge rather than his brother.

If Lion is comatose then there could be a King Arthur going on if his sword is still in the possession of the Dark Angels on their flagship. There is a sleeping old king ready to come back, his sword lies in a bed Rock and this is surely the Imperiums time of need. Either that or Russ is going to come back, an old warrior king needs a worthy sword.

== Dorn ==

"''Of course we are at war. Why on Old Earth's green soil would you believe we are not at war. We are in what is essentially a siege position, with an unfortifiable border stretching an entire 360 degrees for several light years in every conceivable direction. Our enemy has no concept of "rest" or "armistice" and can pop up at any time, on any side, in any position within the massive amounts of space between the mud marbles that we call the worlds of the Imperium. The Imperium is always going to be at war. Why would you ever believe otherwise?''"<br>
- Rogal Dorn, showing his usual level of tact

Dorn's overall personality was like a combination between Winston Churchill and George Patton (except, you know, Calbian with Inuit heritage). Socially as blunt as a sledgehammer, no tact, and always said exactly what was on his mind, which often got him into a lot of trouble. He was also very harsh, think an army drill sergeant turned up to eleven. Despite all that he also had a rough sort of charisma, a dogged sense of determination, and a sarcastic, deadpan worldview that often saw him through these time periods and helped him pull himself out of the holes he dug and win people over. He was especially good at rousing speeches and getting people to hold the line.

=== Dorn and Perturabo's Awesome Bromance ===

At a meeting of several of the primarchs, Perturabo outlined a complicated, grandiose plan for constructing some defense, and Fulgrim calls it out as being terrible and says that even Dorn could bring the plan crashing down. Just like in canon, Perty demands to know if Dorn thinks the same way and Dorn bluntly says "Yes". But unlike canon, Perturabo says two words that completely change the future relationship of the primarchs.

“Show me.”

Perturabo obviously planned to use this opportunity to make a fool out of Dorn, castigating him for daring to question his tactical genius, but Dorn says “I would do X to Y, Z to A, and the whole defense plan would come crumbling down”, and Perty realizes…he’s right. Perty thinks for a moment and then tries to one-up Dorn by saying “But what if I were to do X”. Dorn replies “then I would do this…”. And so one of the angriest friendships in the history of the Imperium was born. Dorn and Perty would play wargames against one another, each using the opportunity to continually refine their strategies. Perty knew logistics and Dorn (to some degree) knew men. Together, the two of them created defenses so formidable that Terra had not seen their like since the days of Babylon. Of course, given the nature of M31, even these defenses could not always hold.

In particular, the two primarchs would play chess against each other, but one kept getting the upper hand through out-of-the-box means. Exactly who always won depends on who you ask, the Imperial Fists and their descendants claim it was Dorn, whereas the Iron Warriors and their descendants claim it was Perturabo. Before the Siege of Terra, a messenger from the Iron Warriors came to Dorn, saying that Perturabo had formulated a message prior to his incapacitation to give to Dorn in the event he could not be present for the siege of their homeworld, which both primarchs had known was inevitable. It was a single chess piece. Dorn knew what it meant.

What differentiates Dorn and Perty is that Dorn wasn't fucked in the head bar a slight case of masochism. Perty was an insane manchild who had all the charisma of damp turd. He could design a better fortress than Dorn. Dorn was better at manning defenses and getting other people to man them because he was bluff old soldier with a blunt sort of charisma despite often being socially offensive or insensitive.

Dorn instinctively saw a Fortress as something to hold out in and protect assets inside. Perty saw a Fortress as something to tempt the other side into attacking by using the assets as bait then using the fortress as a meat grinder.

Dorn had standards and a sense of fair play and chivalry. Perty would kick you in the balls and once you on the floor stamp on your neck despite your pleas of surrender.

Dorn would fight a heroic stand to the last man and the last round. Perty would order a sensible and ordered retreat to regroup and make a counter attack. Dorn saw his assets as people and noble warriors. Perty saw them as numbers and a means to an end/victory.

For all that, once you put them together they made up for each others weaknesses. They also got along surprisingly well because Dorn didn't try to hide his disgust at Perty's methods. Perty wasn't good at dealing with people and their unspoken social interactions. Dorn always spoke what was on his mind. Perty enjoyed being around Dorn because he was one of the few people Perty was 100% sure wasn't either fucking with him or looking down on him. Angry voices Perty can deal with. People not saying what they are saying less so.

To everyone else Dorn's lack of any tact was annoying as fuck. To Perty it was most welcome. When Perty would suggest a cold and callous course of action like letting a bunch of civvies die and deploy the troops at a more important installation the rest of the room would use phrases like "I don't think that's a very humane thing to do" or "that might alienate us and make things difficult in the long term". Dorn would more likely say "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Perty was hellishly competent at his job and had an inhuman work ethic. he also didn't hold anyone to standards he had not already reached. Dorn respected that greatly. Perty was still a little salty over the fact that his father passed him over for his lack of diplomatic ability, which fed into his obsession with building the perfect fortress so that he'll finally be recognized as simply good enough. Dorn sat on the opposite end of the scale, assuming that the mere promotion of Perturabo to Primarch is already all the answer he'd ever need.

''"Although I find you insufferable at times, it cannot be avoided - if you were not one of the finest military minds in the Imperium, you would not be among us."''<br>
-Dorn, to Perturabo

===Rough Draft, Early Life===
The story of Rogal Dorn starts in the garrison town of Onto Rontus in the not too long annexed land of Calbi. Born to a mother of the local tribes and an officer father of the Merikan army his start was not as tragic as it could have been. Often such half-breeds were not the result of consenting unions but Donovan Dorn held genuine affection for Kosa and was, unknown to his fellow officers, married to her.

Dorn was one of a large family and had many siblings though he was ultimately the only one to follow in his father’s footsteps. Dorn left his loving tribe and family and all he had known and travelled to the distant lands of Merika to begin his training, as his father had.

He learned much in those years and was an excellent student and would have been on the fast track to high station but for his circumstances of birth. No soldier of the greatest nation on Old Earth would gladly allow themselves to be given orders from a savage of the north. Despite all this his tutors could not deny his talents.

It was not a thing he took undue joy in but the ways of war came very easily to him. Despite the unfortunate circumstances of his birth he became the very model of a Merikan officer. He was well versed in military doctrine of all sorts and knew something of the history of his nation, at least enough to spot the revisionisms.

Although adept, or at minimum competent, at all aspects of war his true talents were found in siege warfare. In the tactical simulations and competitive VR matches Dorn was unbeaten.

Due to his knowledge of the locals and ability to speak at least one tribal language fluently Dorn returned to Calbi wearing a conquers uniform. He served as a lieutenant under the rule of Praefectus Adran, himself new to the post after the forced retirement of old Praefectus Stavart.

Praefectus Stavart had been very old and was unquestionably loyal to Merika but had dealt with the natives with some degree of fairness and even kindness when he could afford to. He was not loved by the locals, how could he be, but the elders were more than smart enough to know that his position as an intermediary between them and Merika was probably the best deal they could get in the circumstances.

For Stavart’s part he probably knew that as well. In his childhood Dorn had met him a few times with his father. He remembered him looking old then and unless he somehow genuinely had six sixty-seventh birthdays it was obvious that he had been lying about his age for a long time. In his way Stavart had cared about Calbi and it’s people as something other than a broken, subjugated state of Merika. He held on in the job until nearly ninety because he knew that Adran or someone much like him would succeed him. And he was right.

Praefectus Adran was not a nice man by any measure. His was the brutal rule of law and the authority of the Iron Fist. He wouldn’t be seen attending local festivals or events; they were there from the greatest to the least at his beck and call. They were savages and heathens and he was a man of the Greatest Nation and a paragon among them. Needless to say tensions between the conquered and conquerors increased.

At some point genuine tribal unrest turn into riots and Praefectus Adran orders mass executions.

Dorn is still well loved by the locals as they see him as their man on the other side and look to him to for salvation. Dorn is also well loved by the rank and file and quite a few of the officers.

There are a few days of communications black outs due to "faulty equipment" and some "regrettable accidents" that see some of the officers dead and Praefectus Adran commits suicide after a long period of depression. When asked how he managed to shoot himself in the back of the head with a shot gun acting Praefectus Dorn tells the investigators that Adran had been "very depressed.

Nobody believes it but, due to the difficulties in the still mysteriously faulty communications equipment, it does buy him enough time to root out more loyalists of Merika, secure his alliances with the local tribes and when the order comes from the capital to stand down and come back for questioning he declares independence.

The next day his is met by a freakishly nondescript man of average height and build, no distinguishing features, hard to estimate age, unremarkable clothing and an oddly neutral and hard to place accent. Claims his name is Alpharius Omegon and he comes representing the Imperium. Tells Dorn that his timing is awful and had he been able to spin his out for a few years, five at most, the Imperium would have been in a position to lend considerable military might to his Rebellion. As it is they will offer what less obvious help they can but the Imperium can't get dragged into a direct and total war with Merika at the current time. Dorn and a few of his elites get what must be some of the very last Mk1 Astartes upgrades, administered by local bio-druids for reasons of deniability.

Recently Merika had been supplying and training terrorist organizations in the lands conquered by the Imperium and Oscar had found out who was behind the seemingly random attacks. The aim was to disassemble the Imperium back into little nations for Merika to Manifest Destiny all over and Oscar was most unhappy, most unhappy indeed. But his forces were all tied up dealing with Ursh and the Pan-Pacific Empire so he couldn't act directly and was having to use Dorn and his rebellion, and later Fulgrim, to fight by proxy.

Not that Dorn would know the specifics of this until quite a few years after Unification Day.

Dorn holds out for long enough for Fulgrim Doe to raise his rebellion and make contact.

By this point Imperium is finishing off the last enclaves of Ursh, Lorgar is decapitating the Despot and Merika is in deep shit because of the multiple rebellions, the pissed off Imperium and the only neighbor it has left with whom it is not at war is Hy Brasil who hate both of them and are just going to sit back and watch.

Fulgrim "negotiates a deal of inclusion with very good terms" with the Imperium after he is appointed President of Merika and "abandons the unprofitable campaign to uplift and civilize the northern provinces". Calbi becomes an independent nation, Dorn appoints an Assembly of Elders to govern the nation and steps down from and decommissions the title Praefectus of Calbi. Though he does remain the head of the armed forces. The Elders and Dorn, or representatives of them in the case of the more elderly Elders, are present at the swearing of allegiance to the Empty Throne of Earth.

When Steward Oscar looks to the other worlds of Sol and to the stars beyond he names Dorn as one of his primarchs to the surprise of Dorn though not the people of his home nation who saw it as only right.

And then Great Crusade, WoTB, Reconquest and death on the walls of Cadia during the 1st Black Crusade of which I hadn't got around to thinking much about.

During the Great Crusade I imaged he went slower than most of the other Primarchs bar Lorgar but his diligence over speed, though criticized at the time, proved it's worth in the WoTB as the worlds he brought into the Imperium weathered the storm consistently better than others that weren't the work of Perty.

At some point he gets it into his head to grow his trademark mustaches. Some time later he has to have one of his eyes replaced and it sort of looks like a monocle.

Does not take part in the Raid. He was not the greatest personal combatant and also tended to be better at static defense than actually running around, so a quick Raid was not his strong suit. Also due to the buggy Mk1 enhancments he suffered from desensitization problems which gradually turned into a mild case of masochism.

Never married or had any children (that he or history knew about). Did have a large number of nephews and nieces and cousins and more distant kin. Quite a few of his family survived the WoTB, he was quite lucky in that regard.

== Fulgrim ==

The Steward knew about Fulgrim's trans-humanist ideals and their efforts to try and improve geneseed, but turned a blind eye to the actions of the Terra's Sons and used them as the testbed for geneseed tweaks. Fulgrim was by far the best geneticist of the primarchs, and anything that worked might be worth incorporating into later patches. And if you have a bunch of people volunteering for experimentation, why let the opportunity go to waste? The Steward didn't officially approve of Fulgrim and Terra's Sons tampering with geneseed, but he didn't censure them either.

Fulgrim saw everyone as a rival in some fashion. He wanted to be tougher than Vulkan, more loved than Sanguinius, a better strategist than Guilliman, etc. As in canon, Jaghatai would have have none of it when Fulgrim tried to pick a fight with him. He had been trying to turn a blind eye to Fulgrim out of politeness and the fact that he didn't speak Gothic as well and therefore did not have as sharp of a tongue. But if Fulgrim was trying to seek him out and start somethinghe was willing to make a scene, saying that he had been raising a small legion of socialites and art critics rather than a bigger legion of super soldiers.

== Ferrus Manus ==

Ferrus Manus was the kind of person who always worded things as logical deductions, despite it often being clear that his motivations weren’t always based on logic. As a result, he would often take actions that didn’t seem in the Imperium’s best interests, but the infuriating part was that it was almost impossible to argue against them on purely logical grounds. E.g., during the War of the Beast he justified Fulgrim and himself defending Mars and the Forge Worlds over other worlds by pointing out that Earth wasn’t the only world threatened during the Siege of Sol, and the given that at least five primarchs (Magnus, Angron, Russ, Lorgar, and Sanguinius) were handling the defense of Earth that planet was covered well enough. Once the War of the Beast was over, the Imperium was going to have to do a lot of rebuilding, which would have been nearly impossible if the industrial base of Mars fell. It was infuriatingly clear he just valued Mars higher than the other worlds of Sol, but the thing is he wasn’t wrong from a coldly logical standpoint.

The seeds of dissent between Orioc and Mars, as well as Ferrus Manus’ increasing loyalty to the office of Fabricator-General rather than the person who actually held the seat, started with the War of the Beast. Orioc initially willingly submitted itself to Mars because Mars was the holy land and all of the Forge Worlds and Mars’ far-flung outposts were coming back together after so long. There was a brief honeymoon period where everything seemed okay during the Great Crusade. Then the War of the Beast happened. The Sol system was perhaps one of the hardest hit during the War of the Beast, between the orkish hordes, Dark Mechanicus “exiles” returning with forbidden fruit from the void, and so forth. Mars and Old Earth are the industrial and spiritual/administrative hearts of the Imperium, respectively, so it is necessary and possible to rebuild them, though it would take a lot of money. Orioc kind of falls through the cracks and get shafted during the whole thing because although it is on Earth people assume that the Olympus Mons Brotherhood will provide for them, so they get very little money. Orioc asks if they can get some funds to rebuild. Olympus Mons brotherhood say no, Holy Mars is more important. Orioc starts reconsidering if putting themselves below Mars was a good idea. Not enough to become space Protestants, but enough to start complaining.

This gets worse after Zagreus Kane dies and Ferrus suddenly finds himself as the second most powerful individual Mechanicus (in terms of soft power) after a Fabricator-General that is thousands of years younger than him and has more dogma than sense. At the same time it is likely that any future Fabricator-General might feel threatened by the prospect of Ferrus Manus throwing his weight around/

Believe it or not, Ferrus Manus actually did have a heart under all that metal. He was typically just too stoic and hyper-logical to show it. Case in point when Kelbor-Hal used him as an attack dog to intimidate Savlar. He had been given orders to destroy the neutronium factory if the Savlar Order didn’t cave, but he knew he would never have to carry them out. Either Savlar would back down (unlikely, but a man can dream), or Kelbor-Hal would calm down and realize this wasn’t going to work. Worst case scenario, the Steward would step in and force a diplomatic resolution, a working neutronium factory was too valuable to let go to waste. All he needed to do was stand there and look intimidating. Ironically, this shows that just as much faith in Oscar as he did the Fabricator-General, which to be honest is probably one reason Oscar picked him to be primarch.

Another example would be what happened with the world of Sarpedon during the Age of Apostasy. It is not really been decided what the Fabricator-General was doing during the Age of Apostasy. One suggestion that was made was that the Fabricator-General of the time was desperately claiming neutrality in the Imperial Civil War. The reason being that most of the Forge Worlds across the galaxy were split between Vandire and Thor loyalists, and if the Olympus Mons Brotherhood actively picked a side it would cause another Mechanicus Civil War.

Meanwhile Ferrus Manus decides to take the initiative and is seen sending a whole lot of Mechanicus ships to a nowhere world called Sarpedon. Sarpedon is a nowhere world on the fringes of the galaxy, it’s habitable and might become a Forge World one day, but at the moment it is little more than a research station and most of the planet is still wilderness. Vandire's people ask what's going on there. Ferrus responds it's a top secret AdMech research site so piss off, though not in so many words. He even tells the Steward this when he asks him, until the war is over.

Turns out Ferrus had been smuggling dissidents and likely targets of Vandire’s purges out of major population centers through places like Orioc and Forge Worlds for years and hiding them on Sarpedon, because it was the best place to hide people who can’t survive in a Mechanicus factorum. No one fucks with the AdMech or messes around in their cities unless you have Oscar-grade brass balls. AdMech have more freedom to do what they want within their own walls than any other group in the Imperium, so it was easy to smuggle people out without questions being asked. If Ferrus had told the Steward what was hiding there he would have endangered the refugees’ lives because he would have insisted on sending more forces to protect them (and thus blow their cover), so it had to wait until the war was over. When Ferrus was asked about why he did it he said they were all productive individuals whose actions benefitted the Imperium, and Vandire was being illogical because their loss would decrease Imperial efficiency, as if such an answer was self-evident.

== Jaghatai Khan ==

In contrast to most other groups of Space Marines, many members of the White Scars and their related chapters are literal rather than spiritual descendants of Jaghatai Khan. Like his ancestor Genghis Khan, Jaghatai has a large number of descendants running around the 31st century. However, because Jaghatai never conquered half of Eurasia, this large number of descendants simply comes from the nature of time and the ridiculously large population of the Imperium (Jaghatai has a lot of descendants, but percentage-wise is nowhere near Genghis), as well as non-direct descendants from his brothers, sisters, uncles, and aunts. Many White Scars claim to be directly related to Jaghatai Khan in some way, and try to join the White Scars in an attempt to try and recapitulate their ancestor's glory.

Jaghatai only had a few actual children. His first born son ended up becoming a rank-and-file Ultramarine. Jaghatai didn’t know whether to be proud or a little bit disappointed over this.

Khan had two major flaws. The first of these was his temper. Much like Magnus and his anti-sociality, this is something Khan got better about over the course of his life. Though I can imagine there must have been some debacle when Ursh fell, with Khan demanding retribution and the Warlord probably stepping in and saying that all Khan wanted was revenge, not justice, and if he did that then all it would look like is a monster killing a monster and not justice being delivered to a tyrant. That probably shut Khan right up (see point two). Khan's temper is a lot different from Angron or Russ, in that he's single-minded and you don't see it coming before it hits you.

Khan’s other major issue was he always felt like he had to make up for what he did while he served the Despot of Ursh, to a degree that would be considered unhealthy. He really doesn't like to be reminded of his past. There was an incident while passing through Ursh, where he enjoyed watching some children play a game where they recited a rhyme about how they had to act good or else the goblin king would send his goblins to take them. Then he realized that the "goblins" they were referring to were his people, and got real quiet.

Unlike canon, where Khan could just fuck off to Chogoris or the front lines any time the other primarchs annoyed him, here Khan actually had to interact with people to get things done and so more people were aware of him being the “pragmatic, reasonable one” among the primarchs. Don’t get me wrong, Khan is still the speedfreak who often likes to go off and do his own thing (and given the general competence boost among the primarchs being “level-headed” is no longer that noteworthy), just that he wasn’t as much of an outsider as in canon. Khan got along with a lot more of the primarchs than in canon (though not to Sanguinius or Horus levels), with the notable exceptions of Morty, Curze, and (surprisingly enough) Corax (at least at first).

Corax is kind of understandable in retrospect. He came from Sino-Japan, a territory which for years had been controlled by Ursh using the steppe nomads as enforcers. It makes sense that Corax would balk at the inclusion of what he considered a bunch of animals pretending to be human beings into the Imperium. Khan, for his part, did not feel the same way (see Khan's second flaw). He even made it a huge point to either discipline or execute those who committed particularly heinous war crimes under the Despot of Ursh, to try to make reparations between the Khanate and the other “Children of Ursh” and to show that such behavior would not be tolerated anymore. However, Corax was still rather skeptical of Khan. Khan and Corax would eventually come to an understanding, the two seeing they were more alike than different, but this did not happen until well into the Great Crusade.

Magnus and Khan both probably tried to reach out to Morty and Curze, as both knew what it was like to be forced to play the monster.

Morty probably called Magnus some psyker slur and stormed out. Curze was always in a foul mood and claimed Magnus gave him a headache. Magnus wrote them both off at that point.

Khan sympathized with them but questioned why they hadn't tried to build a life beyond what happened to them. Morty replied why was Khan so quick to try and bury his past, while Curze said Khan "wouldn't understand". Khan remained more open to helping them than Magnus (though Morty probably pissed him the hell off), but understood they would probably never come around.

== Leman Russ ==

Russ didn't trust Magnus because his practices of warpcraft are very different to that of Nordyc shamanism and he was made a Primarch despite his weirdness. That is basically it. Russ doesn't trust Magnus and keeps a wary eye on him in case he needs to be killed because possession. Magnus doesn't like Russ because he won't put the axe down.

== Vulkan ==

Vulkan was the one who slew the A.I. beneath the Caucasus Wastes alongside the Salamanders that almost proved to be a serious problem for the Imperium. He was one of the few survivors and his bravery in doing so earned him much respect. This would set the tone for a lot of his heroic actions later in history.

Vulkan actually had some fans among the eldar, mostly the young, impressionable sort who saw him as this great exotic paladin akin to a Phoenix Lord, especially because his tanky combat style fit a niche that none of the other Phoenix Lords occupied. However, these were almost all eldar who had never met Vulkan in person and had only heard about him secondhand, mostly from humans who were gushing about how awesome, noble, and friendly he was. Those eldar who did meet Vulkan in person were usually profoundly disappointed. The only eldar that Vulkan could ever be described to have got along with was Jain Zar, and that’s because they both loudly and vocally agreed in their sentiment that the Old Empire was trash and the Dark and Crone Eldar could go to hell.

During the Age of Apostasy, Vulkan was one of the voices of reason, trying to mitigate the worse the situation and get the pro-Thor and pro-Vandire sides to lay down their arms and reconcile. This was as much due to pragmatism as compassion, Vulkan was extremely old this point and was no longer capable of fighting as he did when he was the Imperium’s champion. Vandire was unwilling to overtly move against Vulkan, he was still a primarch after all, but he was willing to retaliate if Vulkan made the first move. Vulkan had been planning something more drastic, but he was unsure who he could trust, how far you trust them, and feared completely destabilizing the Imperium.

Then Oscar comes riding in on Full Warlord mode like the day they first met but on a far grander scale. It would have been one of the few occasions where good old Oscar actually wore the golden battle plate and it would have been all the more terrifying for its rarity. It would have been a clear indication that shit was definitely happening. Whatever subtle and socially responsible and probably a lot more peaceful plans Vulkan actually had would by that point have been made totally irrelevant. Vulkan put out the call for Prometheans and Salamanders across the galaxy to rise up and join the cause, even though he wasn’t in the best of shape to fight.

Some of the other Space Marine chapters still resent the Salamanders to this day for refusing to take a side in the Imperial Civil War until the Steward came back, seeing their actions as pacifism and cowardice as opposed to trying to be the voice of reason and avoid bloodshed.

== Konrad Curze ==

Despite being in the same age bracket as Sanguinius, Vulkan, and Lion, Curze did not recieve the Mark III S gene-seed. He was told he was incompatible with it. Though in truth he was never actually tested to see if he was compatible with the Mark III S geneseed. Not a lot of people liked the idea of a Mark III S Curze walking around.

Kurze liked to recruit people who had as much of a fucked-up upbringing as he did, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_(character) particularly people orphaned by war or nightmarish regimes], people who knew firsthand the need for order and justice in the world. Sadly Kurze couldn't make sure everyone who was recruited was willing to be a “monster in the name of justice” like he was, and a lot of Night Lords fell. Mostly the sadists who joined to get their jollies off and perpetuate the cycle of abuse rather than stop it. Night Lords had one of the largest number of traitors behind the Dark Angels and the Vlka Fenryka. It’s possible that more would have fallen and lived to tell about it, if the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Grayson loyalist Night Lords] didn’t have such a [[Rage|violent]], [[Rip_and_Tear|negative reaction]] to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Todd their comrades becoming the very thing they hated and trained to stop all their lives]. The feelings of a canon Guardsmen to a Gue'vesa pale in comparison to how loyalist Night Lords [[Rage|view their Fallen]].

A lot of the Fallen Night Lords tend to go Slaaneshi. Particularly the pain and sadism aspect. As in, broadcast the dying screams of a tortured psyker into the dreams of an entire sub-sector Slaaneshi.

The Night Lords and their descendants still recruit from war orphans, though they are obviously more careful about doing so given what happened during the War of the Beast, as well as mind-wiped condemned prisoners who chose identity death over execution or servitorization, and, very, very, rarely, [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Jago_Sevarian|people who actually want to voluntarily join their chapter]].

The loyalist Night Lords are hated, feared, and reviled, and as a result they are treated as if they are on permanent penitent crusade and sent to the back of the line along with chapters like the Marines Malevolent when it comes to requests for new gear. The Night Lords completely understand why they are being treated this way but they don't mind playing the role of the monster as long as justice is done. They still tend to be assholes and still have more than their fair share of monsters compared to the other legions.

Carcharodons are unusual in this respect given they tend to recruit from the underhives of the Segmentum Tempestus and are actually liked to a degree (mostly because they don't indulge in the same type of terror tactics). This amount of prestige for a descendant chapter compared to the original legion is noteworthy for the Imperium, with the closest comparison being the Black Templars and the Death Guard.

== Magnus the Red ==

War of the Beast was a paradigm-shifting moment for Magnus the Red. It was what led him to go from the guy who was okay messing with Warp stuff to the guy who would go on to found the Grey Knights. Before the War of the Beast, Magnus recognized the Warp was certainly dangerous, but thought that if one knew what they was doing it was much safer than most would expect. Swore he wouldn't mess with stuff outside of space and time more for the Steward's peace of mind than anything else. Magnus learned the basics of Warp politics from his mom, and learned how to manipulate it to his advantage (e.g. manipulate a Khornate Daemon to kill a Slaaneshi Daemons, etc.). War of the Beast showed Magnus that the Warp wasn't as fractious as he thought and Chaos could march as one if they put their mind to it.

After that, Magnus had a very different perspective on daemons. He saw that they were unpredictable, and that it was necessary for mankind to find its own psychic strength. Better for a psyker to depend on his own power than bargain with someone else for theirs. Magnus taught Ahriman how to summon and bind daemons, but only because that knowledge might come in handy some day and only as an absolute last resort. He was horrified when Ahriman started actually using it regularly with the Daemon Breakers.

Reconciliation between Russ and Magnus probably involved a bit of apologizing on both sides. The older and wiser Russ admitted he had been a dick to Magnus and Magnus admitting that Russ had been right to some extent about messing with daemons.

== Alpharius and Omegon ==

Despite the rumors, are not members of the Illuminati. Indeed, they are one of the biggest factors keeping the Illuminati at a manageable level, along with many in the Inquisition.

== The Two Missing Ones ==

The only thing that is clear is that the Warlord named twenty people to be his primarchs, and that by the end of the WotB there are only eighteen whose names were recorded in Imperial history. It has been suggested that they were wiped out during the War of the Beast. It is also clear that Jenetia Krole of the Sisters of Silence or Uxor Honen Mu of the Geno Five-Two Chillad were not the two missing primarchs, as Oscar was raised by Malcador who had a rather traditionalist view of the world and at the time of the Unification did not feel comfortable putting relatively unaugmented women in the kinds of positions Astartes were expected to be in.

It could also be that the recorded number of twenty great leaders actually included Oscar and Malcador, but subsequent years and legends ensured that detail was lost to history. You would think that Oscar might say something about it, though.

= Notable Individuals =

== Ollanius Pius ==

* Imperial Navyman (background uncertain, unknown if Void Born or otherwise)
* During the War of the Beast the Beast teleported his attack moon into the Sol system and tried to ram it into Earth (specifically the Imperial Palace) killing everyone present (including Steward) and reducing the rest of the Battle of Terra to a simple mop-up (by that point he didn't care that it wasn't the orky thing to do, he just wanted to watch the world burn. Or possibly he did, because hitting one planet with another is ded orky.)
* Ollanius Pius rammed his ship into the Beast's attack moon after ordering the crew to evacuate, saving everyone on Earth with his sacrifice and making sure the Battle of Terra wasn't the Curbstomp of Terra

== Ahzek Ahriman ==

* Born in Achaemenidia (one of the countries of Old Earth)
* Made a second home for himself on Prospero, was a well-respected teacher and lecturer due to Prospero being the Ksons base of operations
* Cast Rubric of Ahriman in a desperate attempt to save Prospero during Black Crusade, but something got fucked up and Prospero got stuck between dimensions, along with whatever [[Legion of the Damned|poor Astartes and Imperial Guard happened to be on it]].
* Prospero getting stuck between dimensions led to him getting involved in increasingly shady stuff in his efforts at revenge/restoring Prospero, leading to the whole Daemon Breaker thing below.
* Won the Saim-Hann Iron Storm race, and as his prize got access to the Black Library for a "day". Hasn't officially come out since then, although it's clear he's still alive somehow and the Imperium doesn't have to ask the Harlequins to send a search party. Unclear if he formed the Daemon Breakers and then won the Iron Storm, or if he won the Iron Storm, did his research in the Black Library, and then got out, using the fact that he is supposed to be in the Black Library as an alibi. Or both.
* Approves of the Imperium in theory, but thinks they are far too passive and defensive when it comes to dealing with Chaos and should take the fight to them.
* Strongly implied that he rubric-ed himself and sealed his soul into his armor, and that's the reason he's still around despite the fact that any other Astartes would have aged to death by now
* Implied to be a very Byronic figure, started off as a good man but has done increasingly fucked-up shit for a noble cause.
* One of his positive traits is that he would never force people to do anything that he wouldn't do himself. However, "that he wouldn't do himself" has a very broad definition, given the aforementioned Byronic-ness. Indeed, Ahriman considers himself damned and would probably sacrifice himself if need be, the only reason he doesn't is he wholeheartedly believes the sacrifice of his soul will be a necessary component to undo the Rubric (hence the reason for sealing his soul inside his armor).
* "When Ahriman brings back Prospero" is a common phrase in the Imperium. Started out as hopeful but now is used in a derogatory fashion in the same manner as "When pigs fly"

When the Imperium confirmed that some of the Thousand Sons had been binding daemons and that Ahriman had been spreading this knowledge after an investigation, everything took a turn for the worst. Ahriman, along with most of the Thousand Sons that knew how to bind daemons fled with their followers. Becoming a nomadic renegade SM regiment has led to Ahriman taking control then renaming the happy band of renegades to the "Daemon Breakers."

The wandering Daemon Breaker Marines fight off hunting Imperial forces (and secretly help Imperial worlds in stomping daemon outbreaks). The renegades are not above interference and sabotage to ensure their survival. The recruitment for the regiment is always on-going and they hunt down any latent psykers to join them willingly or otherwise. Most defectors from the IG join the renegades as either a criminal escaping punishment, freedom seeking idealist, or someone just plain wanting revenge on Chaos. Those of the mortal soldiers that proved themselves in battle are sometimes given armor similar to that of the Sororitas. Just like the armor of the Sororitas, if there is no power supply for the limbs the soldier simply can't move. Worse is that if something hits the limbs under the armor, the limb movement accelerator will snap human bones like a twig.

Their motto is "Vanquish the Darkness" as said by Ahriman when he smashed a bloodthirster's head with his tome "Vocem Subjugatio Liber" thus binding the poor daemon to his will at all times.

== Ezekyle Abbadon ==

* Nephew of Horus Lupercal, Horus raised him like a son after Abbadon's father died
* Stereotypical "have to one-up my (foster) father at everything" syndrome
* Military brat, had a much more militaristic view of the universe as opposed to the slippery politician Horus
* Died ramming his flagship down the throat of a Scrap Metal Leviathan during the first Black Crusade
* No one else was charismatic enough to do the cat-herding to keep the Void Born together after Abbadon's death, so the legion split up.
* Some years later his cybernetic arms were found in the orbiting debris field around Cadia by scavengers. They were still fused to the Command Lectern. They were taken to the Sol Void Born Migrant Fleet. As of 999M41 they are in the hallway in the Black Stone Fortress just before you reach the tomb of Horus. The Cadians wanted to keep them because cultural historical relic. The Void Born weren't listening, Abaddon was one of their captains and fuck anyone who say otherwise.

== Shas'O Farsight ==

* Once one of the greatest warriors in Tau history
* During the Tau's political reformation, he, along with the other political hardliners that formed the Farsight Enclaves, walked off because they thought the Imperium's fancy new ideas were having a bad effect on the Greater Good. This led to the Tau Civil War
* At some point got his hands on one of the Blades of Vaul. But not just any Blade of Vaul, ''the'' Blade of Vaul, his masterwork the Dawnblade,''Anaris''
* Ethereals be all like "give the Eldar back their fucking sword" and Farsight replied "if they want it they can have it pointy end first"
* Like in canon, the Dawn Blade has chronophagic properties that suck the life out of whoever is killed by it and gives it to the wielder (it's not the only Eldar weapon that works this way, see Spear of Twilight), Farsight knows something is up, but keeps his focus stubbornly on the Greater Good because he feels the Farsight Enclaves will fall apart without him around.

He's a diehard fire caste general that incessantly reminds the ethereals of their noble responsibility to be surly, high handed, self sacrificing philosopher kings. He's a die hard traditionalist that might even step above his station to hold ethereals to his idealized vision of traditional tau society, and pressure from him has influenced the enclave ethereals to conform to this vision of "High Tau'va". The ethereals in the farsight enclave are becoming more philosophical, abstract, and saintly in bearing, and rely increasingly on farsight and his fire warriors to interact with the enclave's people. Farsight has influence over the ethereals that goes way beyond tradition, but this is totally lost on him, and he seeks to do the ethereals will even as he cajoles them towards greater mysticism and the nobility he already sees in them. For their part the ethereals recognize Farsight's prominence, but say that he is reminding them of their duties as a caste, as he ought to. They're happy to have a major fire caste figure affirming their reactionary feelings towards the reforms, and are beginning to believe in his rosy picture of tau traditional society.

Farsight is basically Tau Oda Nobunaga giving the Earth Caste guns; in his crusade to reestablish the Tau traditions of old, Farsight is essentially breaking them all and establishing new ones, all while being too blind to most of it, and excusing what he allows himself to be aware of by saying it's for both the Greater Good and the greater good. Compared to just about everyone else the Imperium is up against (Szarekh, Malys, Vect, the tyranids), Farsight is a relatively nice guy who actually cares about the people under his command. It's just that he's a xenophobic asshole. He's the kind of guy if you were an Earth Caste walking into a bar, he would invite you over for a drink and nearly bowl you over with his sheer charisma. At least, until you find out what his political leanings are (depending on where you stand on the issue).

=== Reasons for Farsight's Breakoff ===

Farsight spent most of his career on the northern edge of the Tau Empire fighting mostly Chaos and to a lesser degree Orks, whereas Shadowsun spent most of hers on the southeastern front and fought mostly Nids. This disparity of experience resulted in a rift forming, with each having different views on how the universe works and what the Tau need. Shadowsun sees the need for the reasonable people of the universe to unite because that’s the only way anyone is surviving the tyranids. Farsight sees Chaos as this horrible Monster in the darkness, but thankfully they seem more focused on the Imperium and their “anathemas” and “blasphemers” and seem to mostly ignore the Tau; if the Tau were to join the Imperium, that monster may not ignore them anymore.

Farsight also feared that closer relations with the Imperium would change tau culture as he knew it. By that point the Tau Empire already had a few billion human citizens but they were Tau Humans dedicated to the Greater Good as much as other society in the Empire. What he predicted was the relaxation of the caste system, outside influences on policy making and a slowing down of the colonizing efforts for the next sphere of expansions.

Perhaps more than his concerns that contact with outsiders would change the Tau’va, Farsight feared that the Ethereal Council would come down and force people who wanted to hew to the old traditions to change their ways. And in his defence, in this regard history supported him. The Ethereal Council was known to force people to accept their vision in the past; they would never allow for the unity of the Tau to be broken with a potential split between “Orthodox Tau’Va” and “Relaxed Tau’va.”

The issue is that he kicked off a riot which led to things escalating to violence, which is massively taboo to the Tau (not just for the same reasons as canon, but because they see their unity and lack of Tau on Tau violence as a moral high ground compared to the fractious Eldar and humanity) and turned what should have been a reasoned debate into a Schism meets the Partition of India in space.

There are rumors that Shadowsun hasn’t been able to catch up to Farsight because Farsight has been deliberately avoiding confronting her because he feels guilty about what happened. He doesn’t feel guilty about standing up for what he believes in, but he feels guilty about letting it escalate to violence which is why he’s content to live in his own little hermit kingdom than try to subvert the main Tau Empire.

Farsight's fears have proved well-founded. The Tau Empire isn't growing anymore and no new spheres of expansion are planned. The Ethereal council has instead directed it's efforts towards missionary work to spread the philosophies of The Greater Good and try to co-opt the Eastern Fringe of the Imperium from the inside. They have made no secret of this. They have had their decision making influenced by outsiders in that the Imperium tells them what will and will not work from past experience and are typically proven right. Now they typically listen more and don't, for example, try to make fully A.I. robotic infantry. The caste system has been relaxed as the Casteless and Outcaste and auxiliary forces can attest. (Of course Aun'Va and historians will notice that the current interpretations of The Greater Good are more similar to the older attitudes to Aun'Da's teachings.)

Farsight was not wrong. A thousand years ago he would have been the very model of a great Fire Warrior. He's just out of time.

When they were both young and still good friends, Farsight and Shadowsun had an argument over the Tau'kon'she, a Fire Caste festival in which the Fire Warriors hunt a ceremonial clonebeast on foot using low-tech weaponry to connect with their heritage as nomads. Farsight wanted to perform the ceremony using pulse rifles, saying it was more efficient. Shadowsun was exasperated by it and said he was missing the point. Ironically the two have reversed position later in life, Farsight the traditionalist sees as important that the tau remember their old ways, whereas Shadowsun has grown jaded and has much less of a problem with cutting the Gordian knot.

== Shas'O Shadowsun ==

* Currently the greatest military hero of the Tau that is still alive and not a renegade. Typically seen as the Tau equivalent of a primarch or a Phoenix Lord by the rest of the Imperium (Farsight would be the other, except for the whole treason thing).
* Shadowsun was a good friend of Farsight. Then Farsight did something during the Tau civil war that made Shadowsun swear a blood oath against him.
* Probably did something so grievous that in Shadowsun's opinion Farsight has no moral justification in claiming that he's doing what's right, like escalating the tension between the two factions into outright violence and the first shots of the Tau Civil War. Farsight saw it as necessary and justified because the reformists weren't letting the traditionalists practice the Tau'va the way they wanted to. Shadowsun called bullshit, his actions led to Tau killing Tau and in her mind this was an act of barbarity just asking for the Mon'tau to return.
* Probably had some sort of forbidden feelings for one another, but after that moment their relationship changed to that special feeling of hate and betrayal you can only have for someone you once loved
* More open-minded and less xenophobic than Farsight (known as an Imperial hero even outside of Tau space, which the Tau will remind you of quite frequently), but at the same time more prone to obeying the Ethereal Council and is more manipulable by them.
* As opposed to Farsight or Aun'Va, Shadowsun is still around because she's been leapfrogging through time via cryo-stasis as opposed to the Dawn Blade or whatever Aun'Va is doing. Explicit instructions to wake her when Farsight shows his head so she can fulfill her oath
* Like Kryptman, Shadowsun has lost numerous friends and allies due to the passage of time. Unlike Kryptman, she is a bit more philosophical about this.

Shadowsun is essentially the Tau WMD that walks like a mortal.

It has the lovely image of Aun'va as some sort of Davy Jones dinosaur of another era that the others of his kind defer to out of respect/fear and when shit gets too hard to handle he declares "release the Shadowsun". Those are the days that you know shit has got beyond real. If is the legendary 1st Sphere veteran commander than by now she has fought everything from Dark Eldar to xeno Skynet. Like Kryptman she is awoken when needed and preserved when not. Like Kryptman she is getting on in subjective years now despite this though not to the same extreme. Like Kryptman she is awake in the final days of 999M41 and it doesn't look like she will sleep again soon.

Humans have stories of Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, Tau have Shadowsun.

Imperium has Saint Celestine around whom the masses flock with songs on their lips and fire in their hearts. Shadowsun is this also. When she wakes up the other castes start to readily form citizens militias to ease the burdens of the Fire Caste PDF equivalents. Not actual soldiers, goodness no. That would be against the scripture. They just assist and serve as best they can right up to what they can bend the scripture to accommodate.

Her personal mission is to uphold the values of the Imperial Tau'va by adapting to new tactics and destroying whatever she's pointed at better than anyone else can, and to find closure by ending her former friend's life. She doesn't really concern herself with issues that aren't relevant to this, having a sort of tunnel vision that makes her an extremely dangerous opponent and which probably helps her cope with having to constantly play catch-up in the fastest-developing society in the entirety of the Imperium. She's built her entire life around fulfilling this purpose, becoming cynical and jaded instead of wrathful and manic the way Inquisitor Kryptman has, as a person who hasn't quite lost everything and is simultaneously expected to be a paradigm of the Greater Good's ideals.

From Shadowsun’s perspective, literally every waking moment of her life for the last nigh-on a hundred years has been some form of conflict. The closest she has ever gotten to “down time” is the moments of strategic planning and stretches of boredom between FUBAR events. She goes to sleep only to wake up a moment later wondering “what in the name of the Tau’va is wrong now”. Shadowsun has essentially lived through every major military conflict of the last millennium, which would be the equivalent of a soldier fighting in every war since the late 18th century, and all the changes in technology that implies. Imagine having to constantly relearn how to fight as weapons go from muskets to bolt-action rifles to semi-automatics. Shadowsun would point this out…albeit in a rather cynical fashion.

“Sometimes the weapons are different. Better, faster, they say.
In the end they are all the same. I pull the trigger, and something dies.”

Shadowsun has figured out by now that Aun'Va is more than meets the eye. The "my identical grandson for whom politics skipped a generation" works after a while, but someone who knows the guy personally would see right through his act in seconds. She doesn't voice what she knows because Aun'Va being in charge is literally for the Greater Good, but it allows her to be more critical of him because she knows he knows she knows and she sees his feet of clay through the shared ages. She believes in the Greater Good and the Empire as it fights for the Greater Good and the Imperium as it seems to mirror and facilitate the Greater Good but she also believes that Aun'Va was a late bronze age bureaucrat and blind obedience to the rules of another time taken in a vacuum and not adapted to this time will always lead to disaster. Her original dispute with Farsight. So she's more willing to push back against Aun'Va (though not the Etheral council), because she knows his tactics. Ironically Aun'Va trusts her more than almost anyone else based on how she was completely honest with him about what happened in the initial shots of the Tau Schism.

==Shas'O Kais==

You know, waaaay back in one of the old threads (about thread 4 or 5), it was suggested that it was O'Kais who kept what happened in the Kaurava system during Soulstorm from being a complete disaster after Boreale cocked it all up. O’Kais had to come riding to the rescue of an incompetent Space Marine commander to ensure that at least someone survived Kaurava instead of the human and Eldar forces being killed to a man.

So why not build on that and the above. O’Kais is one of the most well-known Tau military commanders alive in 999.M41. The reason he seems like such an Imperiaboo is he spent time as part of an Inquisitor’s retinue, so he’s spent time watching thing like Aspects of Steel and whatnot. Nevertheless, he’s still managed to garner quite the military reputation on his own through his own actions in the Tau military, no Imperial help required.

O’Kais got onto the Inquisitor’s retinue for a damn good reason, and people are shocked to learn he’s basically the Tau equivalent of Doomguy. O’Kais, for his part, is rather sedate about the whole affair, and although he prefers not to talk about what he’s seen, when he does talks it sounds like a normal person would talk about how they enjoyed a semester studying abroad. It’s debatable whether he actually feels this way, feels this way because of the muted connection Tau have to the Warp, or if he’s using it as a coping mechanism (given that he does avoid bringing it up).

He’s no Shadowsun, but that’s because Shadowsun is the equivalent of a soldier who somehow managed to fight on the front lines in the American Civil War, the Spanish-American War, World War I, World War II, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War (or any other series of major wars for your country of choice).

Given the shorter life span and less effective longevity treatments of the Tau he would be a brash young man in his Doomguy days. Now if he had hair it would be grey. His skin is lined and leathery, his eyes are wary, his pace measured.

O'Kais has seen some shit and shit related accessories. How old is he? 70 maybe. Maybe 75ish. Biologically. He's spent so much time rattling around on ships that it's hard to say. He was born 122 years ago but such is travel through the warp.

He should be a figure of near mythic proportions on the Eastern Fringe, his name spoken beyond traditional Tau Space. His Inquisitorial has passed the hundred years of silence rule so a lot of it's open to the public.

He has earned the distinction of commanding Space Marines to victory, a thing no other Fire Caste has done.

He goes by the Kais, despite Kais being one of the most common names awarded in the Tau Empire, for the simple reason that the...''other'', more distinctive nicknames he's received are considered impolite in Tau society. There aren't many Shas'O who merely go by the name "Kais" so when anyone brings "O'Kais" everyone knows who they are talking about.

If anything he has become more dangerous in his twilight years. He is Doomguy and has trained Doomguys to succeed him.

Upon his death he has given orders for his body to be frozen and sent to Pech. He made a deal after the shit on Dolumar IV with a wise old Shaper. His funeral will be a feast before the Oathstone beneath the greatest Jagga Tree.

===Timeline of life===
887M41

Tau Fire Caste born to distinctly average parents. Mother and father worked in the T'au PDF equivalent. Name their son Kais, probably the most common name on T'au. Young Kais spends his childhood and early adolescence in the Fire Cast boarding school in the mountain town of Ash’nat Ruush being raised communally as is tradition with Tau.

896M41

Kais is living up to his unimaginative name and passes with sufficiently above average grades to be placed in the Interstellar Army of the Tau rather than it’s local defence force. Although Kais passed with good grades on the notoriously traditionalist homeworld he was definitely in the pro-Imperium reformist camp, a thing that annoyed his tutors somewhat.

That and his lack of interest in the more philosophical aspects of the Greater Good. Which is not to say that he lacked faith in the cause but that he lacked patience with things without immediate practical application. He saw that his job was to defend the realm, not quote scripture.

897M41

Shas’Saal Kais is sent to “cut his teeth”, to use an Old Earth phrase, in the ongoing war for the hiveworld Agrellan / Mu'gulath Bay against the predations of the Ak'Haireth Resurgence. The world, although officially part of the Imperium proper, had substantial Tau investment and presence and was seen as a vital gateway between the two realms and a model of cooperation. The campaign to remove the fungal infection that was the Ak'Haireth was ultimately successful though costly. Shas’Saal Kais becomes Shas'la T'au Kais.

901M41

The greater deamon Tarkh'ax assaults the up until then nowhere world of Dolumar IV in a successful attempt to kidnap the Ethereal Aun'el Ko'vash. Reasons for doing so were later found to be to try and find a way of possessing Tau of the leadership caste for the most obvious reasons. If such a thing is possible is still undetermined as Ko’vash managed to commit suicide sometime into the proceedings but sadly not before a substantial joint Tau – Imperial force made planet fall. By the time the main forces had arrived Tarkh'ax was already eroding reality on the planet from the Governors Palace and Dolumar IV was becoming a daemon world. It was a frantic and desperate mad dash to the Palace to stop the daemon prince at any cost.

Part of this force was Shas'la T'au Kais. Nobody is sure what happened to Kais on Dolumar IV but everybody knows what he did. The Imperial Army, the other Tau, even the Space Marines soon found that they couldn’t keep up with Kais. His helm-cam recorded his progress, his body count that would be the envy of a Warhound veteran, the sheer magnitude of the things he cut down from deranged thralls to Fallen Marines to Chaos Spawn and ultimately Tarkh'ax himself almost single-handedly.

Knowing that the Ethereal Council would try to cover up the events as best it could Kais removed and hid the storage crystal from his helmet. In the time it took the remnants of the Tau cadre to return to T’au Kais’ mental state deteriorated due to the things he had seen. He uploaded the contents of his helm-cam to the planetary info-net. When the law enforcement found him he was sitting near catatonic in the data-hub.

Kais spent the next three years unresponsive in the Por’Vre Jeph’dar sanctuary for damaged souls.

904M41

Video surveillance of the Por’Vre Jeph’dar Sanctuary shows an eldar later identified as a known Handmaiden entering the facility and making her way to Kais’ cell. No eyewitnesses confirm this despite the figure having walked past several members of staff.

The next day Inquisitor ██████████████████████████ of the Ordo Malleus arrives at the Sanctuary and commandeers the miraculously recovered Kais.

The large part of Kais’ life spent in the service of the Inquisition is known to only a few with any certainty as his records are highly classified. Higher than most Inquisitorial files. What is known is that the Kroot have first claim on the old Tau’s body should he die uncorrupted, although what he did to earn this honour and what they did to deserve such meat is unknown. It is known that he had considerable experience commanding both Space Marines and human Guardsmen prior to the events on Kronus, though the circumstances are unknown.

989M41

Kais returns to the Tau Empire a very different creature. His skin grey and leathery with age in the places it wasn’t scar tissue, he spoke numerous languages to some basic degree and walked with the confident stride of an experienced commander.

Kais is bumped up the command chain to Shas’O Kais, though the Ethereals refuse to return the “T’au” to his name.

Later 989M41

Shas’O Kais heads the Tau contribution to the re-conquest of the planet Kronus alongside Colonel-Farseer Taldeer and her Cadians.

Kais and Gabriel Angelos, who was heading and independent detachment of Blood Ravens to Kronus for undisclosed reasons, form an odd friendship possibly based on their mutual experiences with the Inquisition and the eternal war against Chaos to say nothing of each others towering reputations.

The Tau contribution contained many Kroot who held Kais in some degree of awe or possibly fear and named him Laar’Nak Shak; The Walking Death. The Kroot were not actually officially part of the Tau army originally but Kais called in a favour and hinted that they might get settlement rights if they leant a hand. It was suspected the Kroot shaper just wanted Kais for his body.

M992

With the successful conclusion of the Kronus campaign Shas’O Kais returns to T’au and accepts a training job at the Ash’nat Ruush Boarding School where it is presumed he will sped his final years trying to impart his wisdom to the next generation of Fire Warriors.

== Inquisitor Kryptmann ==

In M41, [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#The_Swarmlord|when the main hive fleet first made galaxyfall]], the Emperor contacted the Kryptmann Institute, the Ordo Xenos group formed specifically to try and figure out how to take down the tyranids in the wake of Behemoth, Kraken, and Leviathan, to see if they had any ideas of how to stop them. They suggested they could try the Kryptman Line again. The Emperor asked them if they had any better ideas. The Inquisitors responded that the best they had come up with for a plan B was to invite the [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#The_Swarmlord|Swarmlord]], [[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#Lady_Malys|Lady Malys]], and the [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#General_Timeline_of_the_Life_of_the_Silent_King|Silent King]] over for tanna and see which one killed the other two first.

== Arik Taranis ==

Arik still passed down a lot of his early tests to the geneticists to try and fix the early Thunder Warriors, as was suggested. However, it was less direct, and more of “Psst, hey, you should try adding this secondary regulator hormone to the system. Works wonders.” to the geneticists.

Taranis was a waste of potential. If he had stayed on as a researcher, heck if he had stayed down when his original augments crapped out, he would have been able to do much more for the Imperium than as a super-soldier. The problem is that despite his brilliance he enjoyed bashing heads together much more than doing science. He's a scientist who found his calling as a super soldier.

The idea is that a lot of the quirkier features of the Custodes like dressing in gold and the Blood Games came from Arik (though the gold was probably Oscar’s suggestion), then when the more down-to-earth Valdor came in he dialed things back to make them a lot better organized. However, Valdor did pick up at least one thing, namely the whole “sometimes you have to disobey Oscar’s orders because Oscar doesn’t always know what’s in his own best interests”, which leads him to accompany Oscar and Isha to Beach Planet because he knows something’s going to go wrong with Vandire.

==Macharius==

Macharius is supposed to literally be based on Alexander the Great, right? So why not go whole hog with it, take the bad with the good. Macharius was a military mastermind, able to accomplish more in a few years than most commanders would be able to in lifetimes. Even those who felt the title of primarch belonged to a different era agreed that Macharius’ military accomplishments were the equal of the primarchs. So why was Macharius not hailed as the beginnings of a second coming of an age of primarchs?

Simply put, he couldn’t handle himself outside of war. He was a brilliant military genius, but when he wasn’t campaigning he had a bad drinking habit and generally made a boor of himself in public. All of the primarchs could function outside of war. Even Dorn and Curze. Dorn could occupy himself during peacetime, if you substituted “relaxing” with “fortifying this position”. Curze, on the other hand, just switched from waging an external war to addressing internal issues such as "waging a (literal) war on poverty". There were also rumors Macharius was not too fond of the Exodite Eldar and the Maiden Worlds, feeling that the worlds should be confiscated as they were otherwise being wasted and the Exodites weren’t pulling their weight, something that other parts of the Imperium were afraid was going to lead to civil war.

Think of a cross between Alexander the Great and Douglas MacArthur. Brilliant military tactician, but fell apart when not in combat (like Alexander) and had a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease and picking more fights than he could hope to win.

In this timeline, Macharius died due to actual misfortune, as opposed to High Lord assassination. Like everyone else, the higher-ups in the Imperial government mourned, though they felt a little guilty over the fact that they felt like they had just dodged a bullet.

== Jenetia Krole ==

After doing some research on blanks and the pariah gene in canon, it seems that it is possible for psykers to be around blanks in the rare case that the psykers psychic ability outstrips the blank’s ability to nullify it. This fact is virtually trivial in canon, but it would mean that Krole would be able to be around extremely powerful psykers like Oscar and Magnus, for whom trying to nullify their power would be like trying to block out the sun with an umbrella. It also explains how the vanilla Sisters of Silence were able to be around the Emperor without him going nuts.

From what I can tell with blanks in canon, they are not capable of turning their aura on and off, but it does sound like they are capable of changing the intensity of their aura to be more or less uncomfortable to people who aren’t outright psykers. Jenetia was able to control her aura enough that she would have been the type of blank to just be considered “odd” by the average person, but she intentionally cultivated the reputation of being the scariest person in the room.

Jenetia’s personality is partially inspired by Queen Gorgo of Sparta. Laconic, tough as nails, and favoring quality over quantity in terms of troops. In-universe, it may be due to spending part of her time being raised by the Custodes.

This sort of gives an explanation as to why the Sisters of Silence were allowed to exist despite the Emperor being the old chivalrous sort. The Pariah gene is described as being extremely rare in Vanilla, with there being only one to two pariahs in a population of ten billion even if one counts those who only have it as a recessive gene. Until the Imperium could get a large number of planets under their control, Jenetia was the only blank they had. Jenetia was a bitter necessity until the Grey Knights could get up and running, and as soon as that was done Jenetia was swept off the front lines to a position the Steward thought would be safer.

Despite what seem like similarities, there’s a big difference between Jenetia Krole and Conrad Kurze. Kurze inflicted terror because he thought that fear was the best way to bring order and keep people in line. Krole cultivated a terrifying reputation because she just wanted people to recognize her as a badass.

Jenetia liked kids, in case that wasn’t obvious, even if they didn’t always like her back. It’s highly likely that Jenetia put in the request to the Steward because she just wanted some people she could be around for more than a couple of hours, in addition to the tactical reasons.

== Nemesor Zandrekh ==

Nemesor Zandrekh is crazy. In fact, he is so crazy the Silent King cannot assume direct control over him like he can with so many other Phaerons, because Zandrekh believes he’s still flesh and blood and of course only a robot can be controlled that way.

He doesn't care much for this "Silent King" little gutter oik. Bah humbug and balderdash so he doesn't. Obviously such an uncultured and, quite frankly, barbaric swine must, in fact, be some sort of tinpot despot rebel or a petty little lordling from one of the lesser races trying to pull a clever ruse.

The true power in this galaxy, besides his self, of course, must be this great bustling Imperium business that everyone is going on about. Indeed not a day goes by when there isn't some sort of news from the border regarding their valiant and heroic efforts against what sounds suspiciously like the old enemies of the True Empire.

In fact, he would put money on these High Men of Earth being distant kin or descendants of his own people that waited out the upheavals and desolation. That must be it. They stayed awake and duked it out, this "Imperium" must, therefore, be The True Empire or at least something not too far removed from it.

And so Nemesor Zahndrekh made diplomatic contact with the Imperium. It took Harlequin Lore-Masters to translate the transmissions and once they figured out what the crazy old bastard was prattling on about they couldn't stop laughing.

Nemesor Zahndrekh of Gidrim and it's protected systems (about a dozen systems all told, only two conventionally inhabitable worlds and one of them only just) are not part of the Imperium but they are very close allies with it. Emperor Oscar deemed it prudent to play along with his delusions rather than risk him waking up and offered him the hand of friendship and invited him to a banquet in his honor to formalize the alliance.

So far the mad bastard has guarded his patch of space well and has come to the aid of the Imperium on several occasions, even going so far as to temporarily house a rescued ferry convoy on his throne world (near a quarter of a million people all told). He said he liked talking to the children. It had been many years since his hall echoed with such simple laughter.

On at least one occasion the Imperium came to his aid after receiving a message, from one of the ambassadorial team's astropaths, indicating that he was having "a spot of bother with some sort of insectoid life form". Shortly afterward contact was lost.

Needless to say, there were no eldar involved in anything relating to the Nemesor. They are pretty sure that he is going to try and kill them all at some point. Isha wasn't present during the official banquet. She was away on "State Business", an excuse Zahndrekh thankfully believed and took no offense. Oscar tried to show him a picture of Isha, to see if Nemesor was on the level, only for the mad old bastard to say “Quite a beautiful dame she is. I say, is she descended from one of the old royal bloodlines? She certainly has that regal Phaeron jawline. Shame she couldn’t attend on account of official business.” Oscar decided to take this information to his grave, rather than rile the Eldar up by saying that Nemesor had favorably compared their goddess to a Necrontyr Phaerakh. The only Eldar that are able to tolerate being around him are the Harlequins, and that’s only for the sheer schadenfreude of the whole thing.

Everyone on the Ambassadorial Team is pretty sure that the imposing Necron called Obyron who stands by the Nemesor at all times is aware of how reality is and how his lord is and is merely playing along for the sake of his master. He and the Ambassadorial Team have come to an unspoken agreement. They don't try anything covert and no "accidents" will happen.

Obyron stays around Nemesor because as bad as Nemesor is, the Silent King is worse, and as long as he serves Nemesor he doesn’t have to listen to Szarekh through clever use of loopholes because he’s “obeying his lord”. He also feels some sympathy for the old man…er…skele-bot, as crazy as he is. Obyron does still love his master. For all that he is crazy, he is still Zahndrekh and he owes him so very much.

Zahndrekh was actually a rather nice individual even before becoming a senile skele-bot. He treated defeated enemies with respect, had a sense of noblesse oblige that led him to care for those under his command, and was even altruistic enough to take in a young gutter urchin Obyron into his household. Of course, this was the infamously deadly and backstabbing world of Necrontyr politics. Zahndrekh was a [[Creed|brilliant strategist]] and was nice because he could afford to be nice, and those who took niceness as weakness [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cilician_pirates#Julius_Caesar| paid the consequences]. The eldar are terrified that if Zahndrekh ever snapped back to sanity he would turn into a murderbot 5000. In reality, if you could circumvent the issue with the control protocol, you’d probably just get a more coherent and intelligent Zahndrekh.

This is actually part of the reason Szarekh brought Zahndrekh into his fold during the Second Wars of Secession. He was unflinchingly loyal, a skilled general, and he made Szarekh’s side look good. The fact that the Nemesor could be lenient to those who genuinely pledged themselves to Szarekh made him a good carrot to the bigger stick of many of his other generals during the Wars of Secession because he made Szarekh look benevolent and merciful to his enemies. And this was back when Szarekh still had some humanity (necrontyrity?) in him and could be as magnanimous as he was brutal. Part of the reason Zahndrekh doesn’t recognize the authority of the Silent King is his last memories date to the Second Wars of Secession, and he has a hard time reconciling the young, headstrong Szarekh from then with what he became.

Of the two inhabitable worlds in his Dynasty, the least shit is settled by Tau. They've regressed biologically back to the pre-caste tau by interbreeding when the caste system broke down.

They are pretty substandard in terms of technology, they have shit from the early days of the Tau's first steps into the galaxy. It is suspected that they are the descendants of one of the early and mysteriously lost colony ships.

Nemesor Zahndrekh considers them to be quaint and primitive but with a rustic charm. They also show him, as their lord and master, proper tribute and reverence on the occasion that he visits them. So he lets them have the planet.

It's the more pleasant of his two inhabitable worlds but he wasn't using it. Also, a lord should be judged not by how he treats his equals and betters but by how he treats those beneath him of whom he has no reason to fear. That is the mark of a worthy lord. That is why the Silent King is a despicable little oik and no king of his say what.

Although the least shit of the two planets it's still pretty shit. Insufficient ozone layer and barely 25% sea cover. You can live there but it's not a holiday resort.

One should note, though, that Zandrekh’s decisions, while masked behind a layer of the haha-funny antics of a loon, still make sense from the perspective of a Phaeron looking to get out from under the Silent Kong’s thumb. And it is said he talks to Obyron when no one is around to hear it. Perhaps there’s more to Nemesor than simply an insane Overlord, after all?

== Obyron and the nobility of Gidrim ==

Obyron was a gutter urchin that the Nemesor adopted millions of years ago in the days of the True Empire. It was always permitted that Overlords could appoint their own bodyguards regardless of origin or social standing. Most only took them from families they knew, trusted or had a history of loyal service and subservience to ensure that they were true to their duties and also to keep intact the divide between the lowborn and the nobility.

Hiring a pleb as a bodyguard was so rare by the time of the years leading up to the biotransferance that most people had forgotten that it was even technically still legal.

Zandrekh was also Overlord of a remote patch of the Empire so eccentricities are more excusable. Obyron therefore owes Zandrekh so very much. By all accounts he should have lived and died a penniless scavenger. Maybe Zandrekh caught him scrumping apples or some shit and offered him a job as part of the palace guard. Obyron eventually working his way up to bodyguard and then head bodyguard.

Point is Imotekh was trained as a nobleman with rules of conduct in combat and the propper way to duel between gentlemen. Obyron is a knee to the groin, elbow to the gut, eye gouging, ear biting, dirty fighting elevated pleb whose only use for the rule book is an improvised club.

The functionaries of Gidrim will not be trying to replace the Nemesor, they know that they are robots and as such will get fucked over instantly by Silent King override codes. Rather they jockey for positions in the advisory council and in the administration of the Gidrim Estate, everyone wants to be as close to him as possible. Old Man Zandrekh knows that most if not all of them are sycophants but what can you do? He knows that although they will fight among themselves to who gets to be firstmate of his ship they won't mutiny against him and they won't allow risk to the ship.

Also if any of them starts to get too clever or does things too risky Obyron is always there behind his masters right shoulder, a menacing figure in chrome and gilt.

The arrival of the Imperial Representative team and Ambassadorial staff annoyed a lot of courtiers as it was an intrusion in their comfortably insular games. Overlord Zandrekh quite likes the Imperials as they are way less ass kissy and two faced than his own court is.

The jobs typically held by his people are:

* Crew of the Lady Betsy and the few support craft he has, all of them lovingly maintained classics.
* Warriors of the realm
* Bodyguards and palace guards
* Palace maintenance and cleaning staff
* Butlers, servants, maids and such
* Kitchen staff (including food tasters)
* Administrators of the blue-skin (Tau) colony
* Garrison and Sentinels of the blue-skin colony
* Royal gardener and assistants
* Weather-watcher
* Royal architect and masons and other associated artisans
* Keeper of the Minutes
* Keeper of the library
* Royal Calligrapher
* Master/Mistress of tapestries
* Palace physician
* Law-master/mistress
* Lore-master/mistress (and specialists)
* Spymaster/mistress
* Head Cryptek
* Keeper of the Vehicles
* Keeper of the Fish

And a whole host of lesser titles that the Nemesor is half convinced they made up to give them something to do.

=== Obyron versus Imotekh ===

At some point while the Silent King was sending his lackeys out waking up and unifying the Tomb Worlds, Imotekh the Stormlord got sent to Gidrim because the Silent King has been sending commands and Zahndrekh isn't answering his calls. Imotekh finds Obyron waiting for him at the docks. Imotekh demands that all bow before the Silent King. Obyron declares: No. Nothing else. Just a blank No.

Obyron challenges Imotekh to an honor duel because Imotekh will tell Zahndrekh exactly what has happened the last sixty six million years and Zahndrekh will likely go into a full on Nam dog/Alzheimers-esque meltdown. So Obyron protects the old man out of loyalty.

Imotekh: Do you know who I am? I was trained by Ana'mhashark in the temple of Djomo!

Obyron: I grew up in the streets of Telhemerarch. Leave now or I might cut you up a little bit you inbred aristocratic little shit.

Obyron thrashes Imotekh, because Imotekh is only above average in terms of scythesmanship skills (relying heavily on the durability and lack of fatigue his Necrodermis body gives him) whereas Obyron is, to analogize to A Song of Ice and Fire, undead robot Jaime Lannister. Imotekh leaves because Obyron won the duel fair and square and that's the way Imotekh rolls. When next Obyron meets Nemensor Zahndrekh his master notes that he has a new arm. Obyron thanks him for noticing, the old one got damaged in some accident whilst he went about his duties. It's amazing what a good doctor can do these days.

Zahndrekh doesn't need to know about Imotekh.

That day Obyron and Zahndrekh go for a walk about the royal garden. At the evening hour they stop by the Imperial Embassy to catch up on the news. Zahndrekh, Obyron and the Imperial Ambassador end the day sipping brandy by the heating unit in a garden shed some miles from the palace.

The night ends with Ambassador giving Obyron a hug. She can't officially admit that she knows what he has done, but she can blame it on the brandy. Obyron pats her hair as softly as he can and holds her gently. He doesn't understand.

== Erebus ==

Erebus, the Dark Prophet. Even more of a nightmare than [[Erebus|in canon]], if you can believe that.

In terms of there being no record of anyone matching Erebus’ description ever joining the legion and people being if this is because a “recruit Erebus” never really existed or if he simply did a good job at covering his tracks, it’s the latter. Erebus really did joined the Word Bearers as a rank-and-file but was just really good at destroying his records. He knows that playing up the mysterious “Was he a Word Bearer? Where did he come from?” angle makes him look scarier and gets him followers. He renamed himself Erebus because he’s an edgelord.

It's not yet agreed upon when Erebus fell to Chaos and when his corruption became noticed. As to his corruption, some people suggest he fell to Chaos as a child pope due to Lorgar taking his congregation and joined the Word Bearers to get revenge whilst others suggest he did not fall until after he joined the Word Bearers. As to when his corruption became known, some have it that he was discovered well into the Great Crusade and seemingly vanished after his near-death experience, only resurfacing during the War of the Beast upon which it became apparent he had been corrupting a whole bunch of people, whereas others suggest his corruption was only revealed during the War of the Beast, and the conversation between Erebus and Lorgar went in the same way that a lot of the canon loyalist Primarchs tried to talk down the traitors before they realized they weren't going to stop.

== Lady Malys ==

The Daemon Queen of Chaos. The "[[Abbadon]]", for all intents and purposes, of this setting. Only competent, and so high one can't tell the crazy from the cunning. One of the threads had a (now lost) picture of what she was supposed to look like with big black feathery wings. The wings are intentionally grown because it pisses off the Blood Angels. Rumor has it they were torn from Sanguinius' back.

At some point she engaged in a blasphemous and all manner of fucked up wedding with Asdrubael Vect, the Lords of Shaa-Dome and Commorragh.

Some would say that being married to the Queen of Chaos whilst banning warpcraft in the Dark City is a tad hypocritical. Yes it is. He's Lord Asdrubael Vect, he gives no shits. You can file a complaint with the complaints department if you are feeling stupid.

Lady Malys is the blessed of all the gods of Chaos. She is insanely powerful on an individual levels and just dangerously insane enough to get all the warbands of Chaos to temporarily act together and swear obedience but still just coherent enough to make use of it.

Only the Emperor is her equal in a one on one confrontation and only a fully awakened Avatar of Khaine (and a lot of support) has any realistic hope of stopping her. She has died many times but the gods keep resurrecting her at least in part because they don't want her in the Realm of Chaos for longer than is necessary.

She is still "mortal" in that she is not in a daemon-prince sort of deal. She swore no oaths of loyalty for he power, the gods keep her powered up possibly because they are scared to find out what she would do one of them with the powers of the others if one of them stopped. They give her power she fucks shit up and that feeds them. How a mere mortal can operate on that sort of insanely high rape train level is unknown.

It is perhaps that she is the equal and opposite of The Emperor. Her marriage to Vect being a mirror of Isha and Emperor.

In a few of the Starchild Prophesies it is her that gives birth to the Impossible Child rather than Isha and in one rather horrible prophesy the Emperor is the posthumous father. In that prophesy either she rapes the Emperor, conceives a child and then kill the Emperor or she kills the Emperor and somehow rapes the corpse.

Either way is possible, this is Chaos.

But it is just one prophesy out of many and no more or less contradictory than the other ones.

Compared to Abbadon, Lady Malys is much more flexible strategist, and copes with failure or changes in plans much better than Abbadon. Unlike Abbadon, Malys’ Black Crusades don’t really have do-or-die goals, but more of checklists of “things we’d like to do”. As long as the Black Crusade doesn’t get stalled at Cadia, raping the fields, salting the people, and burning the water of numerous Imperial Worlds counts as a success and anything else is a bonus. (It helps that she tends to have salt-the-earth retreat plans as opposed to Abbadon’s “leave my allies out to dry while I fuck off to the Eye of Terror”) Additionally, despite her mania, drug problems, etc., she is often the only sane man among the Cronedar (or, at least, the sanest person in the room), and one of the most capable in terms of long-term planning.

On the other hand, despite being a superb tactical genius, on a personal level Malys is completely ruled by her emotions. Her characteristic mania and her desire to lead from the front means that she has often overestimated herself and ends up dying. Several times. Despite being able to plan out strategems months in advance that still manage to baffle the most tactically inclined minds in the Imperium, when not dealing with something that she personally finds interesting she bores quickly and has the idle behavior of a child that enjoys torturing small animals for fun.

It’s possible that Malys getting herself killed is what turned the tide for some Black Crusades, as she likely respawns in the Eye far from the front lines and in the time it takes her to get back Be’lakor, Luther, Arrontyr, the Taskmaster, and literally everyone else will be squabbling for control.

On a very short-term, day-to-day basis, Malys is all about self-gratification and doing what makes herself feel good. Eat that extra donut. Make out with your boyfriend when you want, where you want. Kill a co-worker for looking at you funny. Ultimately she feels she needs no further justification. She wants to do a thing so she does a thing. If it bothers you then you can try and stop her.

However, on a longer term basis Malys is capable of making plans and is usually capable of putting instant self-gratification aside for bigger goals. Some days where she's not that high but hasn't come completely down yet she sees herself as surrounded by idiots for others not being able to do the same. She sees herself as the chosen messiah of the gods destined to spread Chaos to the whole galaxy, even before other people did. Yes, the Beast came close but failed, but of course he would, you need a true member of the chosen people of the gods to get shit done. It's possible the results of the Raid of Cthonia gave her the confidence to try aiming for something bigger.

If she can unearth herself from the cocaine heap and remove the dicks for a few minutes she may tell you of her long term goal of drowning the entire galaxy in Chaos jizz to turn everything into an Eye of Terror tier Chaos Storm in which the party never ends for anyone because no matter how torturous the experience, no matter how extreme the sensations nobody will be able to die. You can murder and rape and do ALL OF THE DRUGS and things not even permitted by the laws of physics for all eternity at greater levels of intensity than can be ever imagined by mortal minds in this era. The Fall was a good proof of concept and warm up for what she's got planned but even the worst of the Old Sinners from the Eldar Empire would look on with awe and wonder and maybe a little fear at the orgy she's working towards. And everyone is coming along for the ride.

Malys does actually have redeeming virtues. Like loyalty. She honestly loves Vect in her own twisted, [[Malekith]]-esque way. And she would never think of betraying the Chaos gods (which is rather notable), with the possible exception of if they did something like tell her to kill Vect while the two were at a good point in their relationship, which the gods aren't foolish enough to do so because they would lose the loyalty of a perfectly good follower for no gain. Unlike canon Abbadon, who plans to jump ship and betray the gods as soon as he gets to Terra and doesn't need them anymore, Malys honestly loves serving the gods, because it defines her and gives her purpose. And unlike a lot of schmucks on Shaa-Dome, she has enough power to meaningfully turn her back on the gods. If one rescinded their backing without all four doing so at once, she could slaughter enough of that gods' followers with the backing of the other three that they'd be vulnerable to another three-on-one beatdown like Nurgle got during the Raid (or worse). To be frank, the idea of someone having that much power and not being interested in backstabbing the person above them is unthinkable and kind of creepy to the Chaos gods. It'd be like having an insane fangirl who can nonetheless mess your day up.

At the same time, Malys often finds herself frustrated by the many of the other Crone Eldar, who don't seem to have the ambition that she does and she often feels like one of the few reasonable individuals around because they can't restrain themselves enough to get shit done. On a bad day, Malys sees the Taskmaster as a sycophant, the Crow as a babbling idiot, Nimina as an evangelist who needs to do less preaching and more getting shit done, and Arrotyr as an unreliable team killing dickbag. Not that any of the other named Crones are much better. Riastrad is a Leeroy Jenkins, Kaimon is a narcissist and a dumbass, Malaria is too stoned to be of much use, and the Choir of Despair is considered by most to be an overglorified talking bed pet (and may not be a Crone). This is usually when the drugs are starting to run out, Malys is starting to come off her high, and the Black Crusade is in danger of falling apart.

Malys' flagship is the ''Manifest Ecstasy''. We don't have much else on it beyond the bitchin' name.

To get a better feel for Malys' personality, one good place to start would be looking at [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Black Crusades|the Black Crusades]], which she typically leads.

''' Malys' Children '''

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Vect and Malys have had many children, though have not produced any official heirs with each other yet (unrecognized heirs may exist, and their lack of offspring might not be in stone, there was even a suggestion of a Malus Darkblade-style Crone who is trying to live up to the reputation of Vect and Malys whom both give zero shits about). Neither Crone or Dark Eldar society is big on fidelity, and in both orgies and casual sex are as common as handshakes, though unplanned pregnancies are much less common due to the eldar reproductive system. Basically, as long as Vect or Malys don’t forget who is supposed to come first in their heart (and in the periods in which the two are not an item not even then), they could care less about the other’s sexual dalliances.

In Malys’ case, she actually disregards most of her offspring, only really counting the few she's acknowledged, and even with her acknowledgement it confers no special right in and of itself. Some will certainly have grown up quite forgotten about, attended to by the staff of her disused mansion/embassy on the central layer of Shaa-Dome, but certainly many more would have been discarded, sacrificed, or played with to a fatal end. She typically only acknowledges her bastards when she needs something from them or one of them manages to impress her. Many do try to impress her in an attempt to earn their mother’s favor, but she could care less. Malys is the ultimate absentee mother, caring more about Deus Vulting than any child, and the only reason any might survive to adulthood is she has servants to take care of them.

Some Crones (both Malys' actual offspring and pretenders) even claim to be Malys’ children in an attempt to gain prestige, though eldar society typically frowns on that and imposters can be violently disabused of such a notion, often by their mother themselves. Although Malys' offspring often think they are important because of their lineage, they should really be thankful for being allowed to be born and survive to adulthood at all; Malys has sometimes intentionally had children because she gets off on the unique twisted sensations of sacrificing your unborn child to the Chaos gods and using daemons as a method of abortion. Not necessarily in that order. [[Squad_Broken|The cramping and sickness that usually follows premature births would probably be orgasmic for her, and most Crone Eldar for that matter]].

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==Arrotyr, Marshal of the Old Helm==
Arrotyr was a descendant of one of the old military families of the Old Eldar Empire, one that could trace its heritage back to the days of the War in Heaven. His ancestor was famous for having once personally bested the Necron Imotekh the Stormlord both tactically and in personal combat, and all members of his house were expected to follow in his ancestor’s stead.

When Arrotyr saw the disgusting murder orgies that sprung immediately prior to the birth of Slaanesh, Arrotyr put two and two together and assumed that the person who was responsible for all this was the goddess of sex and fertility, Isha. Although some in the empire knew of the whole Slaanesh thing, Arrotyr wasn’t one of them. So Arrotyr simply did the “logical” thing and marched his soldiers into the biggest temple devoted to Isha on Shaa-Dome and simply started killing everyone there (shades of the Greeks desecrating the temple of Athena in the Illiad). For obvious reasons, this did not stop the Fall. Keep in mind that while Arrotyr might have considered himself the only sane person in the waning days of the empire, he wasn’t. He was so crazy and ruthless it’s amazing he hadn’t falled to Khorne already ([[Awesome|think Eldar Quaritch]]). However, Khorne was amused by such an epic display of team-killing (plus the butchered civilians) that he blessed Arrotyr and his warriors, making them the flaming skeleton terminators we all know and fear today.

When Imotekh woke up, he either saw Arrotyr as a worthy opponent to succeed his ancestor, or wanted to humiliate him for what his ancestor did to him.

Either that or the old Arrotyr is literally the current Arrotyr, only having gone through several thousand cycles of reincarnation.

==Iygonesh Orvass, the Taskmaster of Slaanesh ==

Iygonesh (pronounced "egonesh") Orvass was a minor cousin of the royal house of the Old Eldar Empire that gets involved with the cabal of seers that want to make a god of art and joy. Where as they are all decadent and degenerate beyond some of the worst historical excesses, they are fairly dignified and refined relative to the cruelest parts of the Old Empire, and do have the sense of noblesse oblige that was said to have surrounded the early conception of Slaanesh. Iygonesh is one of the circle's important ways into favor with the Eldar imperial family, and palace connections he can offer allow them to gain the patronage of the royal house. During this period of intrigue and positioning the project was already growing libertine, but the introduction of the royal family and court's influence immediately turn the whole thing into a massive grotesque party. With its powerful backers and mass cultural appeal to the Eldar in that era the cult was relatively quick to consolidate power, with the royal house using the spread of the new faith and growing warp energy to subdue longtime uncooperative elements or drive them away. At the same time the circle structured and exalted the bases practices of the Eldar upper class under their arcane hedonism, and guided the riotous 'enjoyment' of them masses to best form their god.

Tensions and intrigues are already coming to a head as the singularity is reached in the warp. Slaanesh is already being seen in hallucinations, dreams, flickering in the smoky halls of palace, among bodies in the flesh pits of Shaa-Dome. Around this time something gives, climax is reached, and the Eye of Terror opens. Shaa-Dome and most of the Eldar's webway megastructures fall into the Warp, Arrotyr arrives in time to fall in with them, and the Eldar king and much of the royal family die first as the imperial eldar palace is ground zero, when all hell breaks loose.

Not yet decided what exactely initiates the Fall, be it the death (snuff) of the king, some final rite initiated by the circle of seers, or even just some last line crossed. Not yet determined if Iygonesh killed the king, if Slaanesh itself killed the king, or if the king just got it in the orgies. Most of the Eldar present were quickly used and consumed by the young god, particular among them many of the inner circle, royalty, and partakers in the festivities of its birth. The Taskmaster was one of the ones that wasn't, and in one of the first lulls in Slaanesh's happy birthday he met his god/dess and they conversed. It became clear that the Taskmaster was totally and maniacally devoted to Slaanesh, not as an ideal of pleasure or fulfillment of fantasy, or as a pitiful Eldar god, but as the god he helped shape and structure. The Taskmaster had always been involved for the sake of this interest, the creation of a being beyond just immortal, the beauty of transcendence attained, that had driven him, and now he would serve its whims as the clear perfect purpose. The young God/dess was flattered, and Slaanesh felt this exaltation ringing within its own nature, and took the taskmaster into its service as the festivities resumed. Slaanesh's attention was soon caught by Khorne, and the Taskmaster was bid to take the celebration to Arrotyr, who was burning his way into the shellworld, and goes with the blessing and might of his worshipful Prince of Pleasure.

tl;dr: Iygonesh is the yandere Renfield to Slaanesh's Dracula, and the rest of the galaxy is worse off for it.

Iygonesh and Arrotyr knew of each other in passing before the Fall. Iygonesh confronted Arrotyr at some courtly social function. Iygonesh saw Arrotyr as a brute due to him being eldar Quaritch and spending most of his time securing the borders of the Old Empire in quasi-exile. Arrotyr saw Iygonesh as a poncy aristocrat and a fop. Iygonesh also knew of the Crow as well. The Indigo Crow was a well-known figure in Eldar occultism, with the mantle of the Crow (if not the individual wearing it) being almost as old as the Old Empire, and was a figure of reverence to the underground esoteric societies established by the rich and bored that eventually became the Tzeentchian colleges. As the chosen herald of the creative god of Sorcery, the Crow was seen as a Chaos-aligned, dark magic teaching lecturer and promoter of better living through sorcery. If you impressed Tzeentch with your ritual and delving into the occult the Crow might unexpectedly show up and teach you a magic trick or two before wandering out. The Crow mostly hung around the royal family due to them being "major patrons of the psychic and sorcerous arts" valuable to his master. Iygonesh might have dropped in on a lecture given by the Crow in the palace gardens while a guest at some point before the Fall or seen him during his experience with the pleasure cults, but didn't know the Crow personally.

The Taskmaster is also Malys biggest threat for control of the Crone Eldar outside of other Chaos Undivided eldar. This being Chaos, there is always the threat of backstabbing from everybody, but in general Nimina prefers to preach and the Crow is occupied with their own plans. Arrotyr rants and raves, but much of his hate tends to be directed towards the Slaaneshis and the general populace of Shaa-Dome and he’s more focused on demonstrating the superiority of Khorne in general than challenging Malys specifically. The Taskmaster thinks they should be in charge because the largest segment of the population is Slaaneshi or venerates Slaanesh in some way and it's in the nature of Slaaneshi to always seek more.

== Iyanna Arienal ==

Iyanna Arienal, head Spirit Seer of Iyanden, would in this AU be a supreme space navy organizer and essentially what amounts to the military governor of the most colossal Star Fort ever to be built with all the authority of the Imperia Navy that this implies. Her joint Imperial title that she avoids using at all costs is Lady High Admiral.

Craftworld Iyanden still does have a disproportionately huge number of dead dudes walking around in wraith constructs. Some say as many as every other craftworld combined, the majority of them raised by her.

They were raised from living death into unlife when the 'Nids attacked just like the main timeline but unlike the main timeline they were not strictly needed. Prince Yriel appeared at the head of an entire Armada and half a million Kriegers, not that Spirit Seer Arienal knew this was going to happen.

So with the combined efforts of the risen dead and overwhelming conventional forces the 'Nids were driven back and the smashed up Craftworld rebuilt by the Navy.

== The Phoenix Lords ==

The general view among the human population of the Imperium is that the Phoenix Lords are the eldar's primarchs: great warriors and generals who helped them rise from the muck during their peoples' darkest hour. By the same token, the Eldar see the primarchs as the human's Phoenix Lords. Of course, most Eldar would also point out that ''their'' great warriors happen to be still alive, in a manner of speaking. (If you're wondering, the Tau consider/considered Farsight and Shadowsun their primarch/Phoenix Lord equivalents).

It's not entirely clear what is going on with the Phoenix Lords' resurrection yet. One suggestion is it may be something like the Doctor in ''Doctor Who'': the Phoenix Lords reincarnate with each new wearer added on, but the persona is slightly different and not quite the same. However this is not agreed on. The Phoenix Lords are agreed to be getting stronger from absorbing new exarchs, though.

Most of the Phoenix Lords, with a few notable exceptions, were students of Asurmen at the time of the Fall. Many of them came with Asurmen as part of the Raid. Many of those that came back were so shaken by their experiences they stepped off the Path. Leithon the Wraithguard was one of them (he joined the Harlequins, and later the Disciples of Kurnous). The few that remained, along with Asurmen, became the Phoenix Lords of legend.

=== Asurmen ===

As in canon, the Shrine of Asur was besieged by the hordes of Chaos during the birth of Slaanesh. In order to protect his students, Asurmen took up his weapons and fought innumerable daemons, and eventually, four greater daemons, one from each of the Ruinous Powers. The point of Asurmen's battle was not to fight four greater daemons and win. No mortal, no matter how powerful, could do that. Instead his goal was to stall the daemons for long enough that his students and the population of the Shrine of Asur could retreat to the safehouses beneath the planet, warded with runes so heavily it would take one of the dark gods themselves to break in, where they could wait out the fallout from the birth of Slaanesh.

"I win."<br>
- Last words of the original incarnation of Asurmen, before being decapitated by a greater daemon of Khorne

Asurmen fully expected to die facing the greater daemons, his armor dragged into the warp and his soul seized by the Chaos Gods. But Asurmen underestimated the resolve of his students. When Asurmen fell his students, who had secretly avoided going into the safehouses, flew into a rage and fought back the daemons long enough for them to recover their dead teacher's body and armor and retreat back to the safety of the safehouses.

=== Jain Zar ===

Although Asurmen was by far the grandmaster of the Shrine of Asur and the one in charge of the place, few who would argue that Jain Zar was second in command. Jain Zar was the first student of Asurmen, and acted as Asurmen’s right hand, constant companion, and closest confidant. It is even rumored that their relationship was more than simply platonic, but nothing has ever emerged to confirm this, and frankly after the both of them have been reborn so many times any such feelings are likely to have been muddled by the repeated reincarnation.

As in the new canon, long before the Fall, Asurmen was kind of a ditherer when it came to the Pleasure Cults. He wasn’t exactly a huge fan of them but at the same time he wasn’t an anti-pleasure cult zealot like his brother Tethesis, because hey, it’s a cult devoted to making people happy? What could be wrong with that? It might have helped that he was living on the far edges of the Empire and didn’t see how the Crone Worlds had devolved into “what cruel and unusual shit can we do for kicks today?” He did leave the Empire for the Exodite Worlds, but that was mostly because his brother was doing so and he wanted to support him. As the Exodite colony grew and the first generation of Eldar outside of the empire started being born, Asurmen was happy for his brother, but still thought going to live in the middle of nowhere was a bit of an overreaction.

That all changed when the Exodite world was ransacked for slaves by raiders from Commorragh. It should be noted that this was back in the days before Commorragh was seen as synonymous with treachery. Back then it was merely seen as an extralegal domain where Eldar aristocrats went to satisfy their perverse lusts that even the mainstream empire found distasteful. And here they were hunting down their own people like they were game animals. They even siphoned away the souls of the planet’s World Spirit for use back in Commorragh. Asurmen just barely managed to save his brother’s soul, but the rest were stolen.

This was the breaking point for Asurmen. It didn’t matter what one thought of the pleasure cults, this was simply wrong. He had caught a glimpse of the abyss into which the Empire was headed, and he didn’t like it. No longer would he stand by and watch his people slip away into madness. If there were Eldar who wanted to stand against the darkness, he would teach them how to fight it tooth and nail. It was this event that would put Asurmen on the path to being an eldar nobody to the kind of person who, by the time of the actual Fall, was respected enough that he could speak and get all of the Craftworlds to shut up and listen (if he hadn’t died in the immediate aftermath of the Fall, anyway).

As in canon, Asurmen may not be the guy’s original name in the first place, as it basically means “left hand of god”. This isn’t exactly uncommon for the Phoenix Lords, Jain Zar was originally named Faraethil even in the old fluff, and I’m damn sure Maugan Ra isn’t the guy’s original name (seeing as it means “harvester of souls”).

The only other Eldar to survive the Commorroghites’ raid on the Exodite World was Jain Zar. Jain Zar was the young daughter of a widowed Eldar woman who had been born on the planet. The two of them lived next to Tethesis and Asurmen and Tethesis had been in a relationship with the older of the two. Asurmen fought his way to his home to try to rescue his brother and his neighbors, but only found Jain Zar alive.

Unlike Asurmen, Jain Zar never grew up surrounded by the glories of the Eldar Empire. She never set foot on Shaa-Dome or seen the impossible geometries of Commorragh. All she thinks of when anyone mentions the Eldar Empire is how slavers from the Empire killed her entire family. Comparing her to the Crone or the Dark Eldar is kind of a sore spot for her. Vulkan called her a credit to her species in respect to the Crones and Dark Eldar and got an earful for it.

=== Fuegan ===

Fuegan’s a [[Kharn|pretty fun guy]]. He’s loud, boisterous, and if you just went by his personality alone one would be surprised to find out he’s an Eldar. He’s also pretty simple. He likes to blow stuff up. That said, don’t confuse “simple” with “stupid” or “incompetent”. Fuegan is a genius with explosives and is more than capable of long term planning, and he is more than willing to make use of his demeanor and reputation to make an enemy commander drop their guard and trick them into stepping on a landmine. His willpower is also legendary, but then again all of the Phoenix Lords are known for their willpower.

He also swears to a degree that would make a Cadian-Ulthwéan’s jaw drop.

=== Arhra ===

Like the other Phoenix Lords, Arhra participated in the Raid. However, he ended up a PTSD-ridden wreck from the whole thing, and unlike the other Phoenix Lords he snapped, went full on H.P. Lovecraft existential despair, and burned down the Shrine of Asur. <s>His current whereabouts are currently unknown</s> Who are we kidding, he's probably Drazhar.

=== Baharroth ===

When the old guard talk about Eldar heroes, it’s usually Baharroth and to a lesser degree Asurmen who they tend to think of, as opposed to people like Eldrad. Baharroth is the ace of the Phoenix Lords: He’s not a master of all like Asurmen, but is by far one of the most skilled non-Asurmen Phoenix Lords, in addition to his style of combat being one of the flashiest as well.

Baharroth’s Craftworld, Anaen, was one of those nearly destroyed by the War of the Beast, invaded by a Khornate Warlord named Trarkh (unclear if it was one of the Fallen, a Crone, or a Chaos Ork). Anaen was not completely depopulated, but nearly the entire population including Baharroth’s entire family (barring his brother, Maugan Ra) was killed in the battle despite the two brothers fighting on the world and the survivors and what was left of the Infinity Circuit immigrated to Biel-Tan.

The downside to Baharroth is he is also the most racist of the Phoenix Lords. Not in a Dorhai or Dark Eldar way, but in an “Eldar’s burden” kind of way. He is very vocal about how he sees the Eldar as the pinnacle of creation and it’s up to the uncorrupted children of Isha and Kurnous to save the rest of the galaxy from themselves. As a result, while he is an ace in combat, he is a pain to deal with personally. This is one of the two reasons the old guard like him so much. Asurmen was/is a pragmatist who was willing to bend rules and change the status quo if it was the right thing to do (he did agree to Eldrad’s proposal after all). Baharroth is more of an idealist who conforms to the older generations’ ideas of how things “should be”. The other reason is he lasted longer in his original incarnation than almost any other Phoenix Lord barring Maugan Ra, and so many of his deeds pre-reincarnation are much more recent.

=== Maugan Ra ===

Maugan Ra, as we all know, is the surly, aloof loner of the Phoenix Lords. Though in this case he has good reason to be, his entire Craftworld is dead, it’s memory perverted, and he’s one of the only survivors. In contrast to his brother, Maugan Ra is one of the least snobby Phoenix Lords, but this kind of manifests as a cynical fatalism towards everyone and everything. Everything dies eventually and everyone fucks up no matter who you are, no use sugarcoating it or pretending it didn’t happen.

Depending on the timeline, it’s not clear how old he was when Altansar got destroyed. Ra was said to be young at the time and was one of the few to make it off the Craftworld, but Altansar fell during the Fall of the Eldar, which was the same time that Asurmen pulled off his Caledor the Dragontamer impression. So he either did not learn under Asurmen directly (which further drives a wedge between him and the other Phoenix Lords) or he was maybe a young adult and hadn’t trained under Asurmen as long when the Fall happened. He could have even pulled a Luke-and-Yoda thing where he went off to try and save Altansar as an incompletely trained young hothead and failed.

Despite being all grim and dark, he does have standards. He would never kill an Exarch, much less an Avatar of Khaine, just to temper his weapon. He does have a heart of gold even though you’d never get him to admit it, he wouldn’t keep fighting the good fight if he didn’t. He was loyal to Asurmen and kind of insulted when the other Phoenix Lords suspected him of being the traitor that destroyed the Shrine of Asur, but it manifested as more of “You seriously thought I did it on the basis that I’m creepy and a loner. Wow. Way to make assumptions.”

Maugan Ra spends most of his time bumming out in the Webway. It means he can show up wherever and whenever he needs to and make a huge difference, and at the same time he doesn’t have people bothering him all the time. He's also the only Phoenix Lord to have never reincarnated.

=== Karandas ===

Surprisingly enough, it’s Karandas, rather than Maugan Ra, who has the biggest chip on his shoulder. Maugan Ra has angst over Altansar, but he lets it all hang out rather than keep it in. Karandas, on the other hand, is the only Phoenix Lord who was not the original master of their aspect. Arhra was. Karandas was just Arhra’s best student. So he thinks he should have seen Arhra’s PTSD-induced betrayal coming and stopped him (depending on how we interpret canon Eldar culture, on starships at least it’s seen as the job of the second-in-command to relieve their superior of duty if they think they’re going off the deep end).

He’s smart enough about it to not completely bottle it up inside and let it fester, because that’s exactly what happened to Arhra and he knows where that path leads.

== Eltharion the Blind ==

Note: Needs possible name change

A Webway guide who was captured by the Dark Eldar. They wanted the passwords to get into Craftworld Iyanden via the Webway. He refused. The Dark Eldar responded by taking him apart a bit at a time.

By the time the rescue party came Eltharion was little more than a mutilated body wrapped around a soulstone. He was so bad that some question whether it would be more merciful to put him out of his misery and bring him back as a wraithguard. He refused. The Eldar did all they could for him, but the poisons used by the Dark Eldar prevented them from healing many of his injuries. Among other things, they were never able to fix his eyes, and he's completely blind.

Eltharion's skills at navigating the Webway has not diminished, despite his blindness. Indeed, his Webway-navigating skills have seemingly improved, as he no longer has a sense of sight to be tricked by the alien geometries of the Webway, making him one of the best Webway guides alive.

He hates the Dark Eldar. Even before the union between Vect and Malys, he was all in favour of exterminating every citizen of the Dark City down to the last man woman and child

== Trigwathon and Delgaranor ==

[[Teclis]] and [[Tyrion]]-inspired characters in 40k. Originally children of an Isha priestess. Both grew up big and strong with classically handsome features. Both got drawn down the paths of Khaine, both joined the Dire Avengers path. Both build up names for themselves.

Then in one particularly awful battle Trigwathon takes a Nurgle blade in the gut right up to the hilt. It should have been fatal, eventually.

At the end of the battle Delgaranor finds his brother with the blade still in him. Pulls blade out and carries his bleeding brother all the way to their mothers temple.

Their mother manages to halt the poison and drive back the infection but Trigwathon is withered and weak and in pain.

Needless to say he isn't capable of walking the war paths any more. Mopes around temple for a while in a foul mood.

Delgaranor abandons the Dire Avenger path and takes up the Striking Scorpion path.

Trigwathon starts training as a seer. Has many masters as most grow weary of his increasingly acerbic and sardonic personality.

Delgaranor gets bored of Scorpions. Becomes Swooping Hawk.

Trigwathon becomes a fully fledged Warlock. Admittedly he has to lean on a wooden staff and wield a stiletto knife rather than the usual sword of office. This makes him no less lethal as his psychic training allows him to know exactly where to shank you with that knife.

Delgaranor eventually becomes a well respected Autarch, at his side is always a rather grim figure in ill fitting robes.

Alternatively, it was suggested that Delgaranor ended up being killed later in life, and Trigwathon, who couldn't bear to lose his brother, dabbled in Spiritseering and brought him back as a Wraithguard/Wraithlord. A Wraithguard who has all the skill of someone that walked down several Aspects. The two end up complementing each other rather well. [[Age of Sigmar|Trigwathon has a weak physical constitution compared to other Warlocks and needs his brother to keep the enemy off him so he can work his psychic mojo. And like all Wraithguards, Delgaranor is nearly blind on his own and needs his brother to point him in the right direction of the enemy]]

== The Sanguinor ==

Unbeknownst to anyone, the Sanguinor is actually Azkaellon, who was the sole survivor of the First Company at the plaza of the Eternity Gate after being rescued from the brink of death by the Alpha Legion. The rest of the Blood Angels thinks he died along with everyone else though they couldn't find a body, and wracked with survivors guilt Azkaellon becomes the Sanguinor as penance. He camps out in a secluded corner of the Webway (which explains how he's able to live so long despite being a normal SM) and uses the Emperor's Tarot to find Blood Angels in need. Due to his immense skill and some luck he has prevailed every time. Ironically, a mysterious Sanguinius-like stranger showing up in to save the day has boosted Sanguinius' legend in a roundabout way, creating a minor source of Warp power which Azkaellon has been unknowingly tapping into allowing him to do things like suplex Bloodthirsters and denying him the death he desperately seeks. Alternatively, he just had latent psyker powers that were activated by his near-death experience.

== Cyrene Valantion ==

Cyrene Valantion was Sanguinius' lover and the mother of Belarius, but originally she was just one of the childhood friends that Sanguinius had when he regally snuck out of the palace. Back when his wings hadn't grown too much and he could hide them under a coat and just look like he had a fucked up spine. And shoulders.

Cyrene Valantion was a factory worker from age 5 or 6 onward and unsafe working conditions and fumes gradually took her eyes, going so far as to fuck with the optic nerves and make replacements difficult.

Sanguinius would visit her often as they grew up though at the time she never knew who he was and by the time the wings were getting impossible to hide she was almost completely blind.

Then events of state take over, Duscht Jemanic is and up absorbed into Europia and the Imperium, Sanguinius becomes a general in The Warlord's army and he doesn't see her again for several years.

Sanguinius was always super human, he was made that way. It's possible that the next time he saw her was during a victory parade after the surrender of Merika and the completion of Earth Unification. He would have been in the parade in all his splendor, he was nothing if not magnificent and scanning he crowd he would have picked her out as a recognized face among the masses. She would not, under the Imperium, have been half starved and ill looking but he would have recognized her all the same.

After the parade he would have looked for her and asked his most trusted people to do so. It would not have been with any intent beyond just wanting to see a familiar face from a more innocent time.

Cyrene Valantion presumably did not know who her childhood friend was which would have been awkward.

Cyrene is remembered to history as the Blessed Lady and is referenced much as this in old tomes though few people today know much about her. Cyrene was shy and voluntarily avoided the spotlight, in contrast to the wives of primarchs like Guilliman, Khan, and Russ, so much less was written about her. Family was important to Sangy; after being treated by his father like an investment and a legacy rather than an actual son, he would have vowed to be a better man and father than his old man ever was, but he didn't want to force his wife to be something she wasn't. Additionally, Cyrene isn't as well known as Yolande or Russ and Khan's wives because there was always more weird apocryphal stuff surrounding Sanguinius than any of the other primarchs due to his popularity and it gets hard to tell fact from fiction.

Oscar remains silent on the subject because if Sangy didn't want it written down he sure as shit isn't going to start talking now.

After both Sanguinius and Cyrene were long gone, there are strange, occasional appearances of a Cyrene-like figure down the ages. Nothing that can be proven. Sort of a Lady in the Lake with the Blood Angels equivalent of the grim reaper. Maybe she appears to a Death Company veteran, worn and broken looking down odds that he can't see the other side of. She would not offer him a way out, not if there is no way out, but she would offer him comfort. She will be there when the load gets too heavy, when the pain gets too much, when he falls for the last time she will catch him.

It won't offer him any practical help but it will offer him some measure of comfort in those last moments.

The Blood Angels don't know who or what she is/was, they just know her as what they see her now. The Blessed Lady, The Blind Guide, Lady in the Red Dress and a few other names. There are a few books, more pamphlets really, written by the Chaplains that say that she might be some sort of angelic creature or rare benevolent warp spirit.

There is no hard proof that she exists.

She is like the Savlar gods. Nobody has been able to prove her a daemon or even existing, but the visions all share too many similarities to be coincidence. In the case of Cyrene Valantion her name is forgotten by all bar one old immortal but many Blood Angels know her now as The Blessed Lady and they can all give an identical description from the red dress to the grey blind eyes.

The apparitions have in recent centuries been gradually increasing in frequency. Nobody in the chapter knows what this means by they are hopeful. Some in the Death Company even go in to battle screaming some variation of "For The Blessed Lady" to the confusion of their allies.

== Lady Celestine ==

In this timeline, Celestine is a distant descendant of Sanguinius whose genes lined up in just the right way that she got the wings and psyker powers of her great^3000 grandfather, since there are no Imperial Saints in this timeline. The wings and the psychic powers seem to go together, seeing Sanguinius needed to bend reality slightly in order to fly with his wings.

Celestine was born on Ophelia VII, a Katholian theocracy world. Even if Lady Celestine had not become famous by her later actions, she still would have gone down in the history books in some small way for causing the Ophelia VII mutation scare. Ophelia VII was a Katholian theocracy world, which took pride in having one of the lowest mutation rates in the entire Imperium. So when a baby with wings was born to two completely normal parents, this naturally raised concerns of Chaos corruption, possibly signs of cultists poisoning the well in preparation for invasion. On most other planets, Celestine would have immediately been labelled a mutant and left to die. But Ophelia VII was proud of its low mutation rate, and immediately sent the infant off for testing to get to the bottom of this potential corruption problem. To everyone’s surprise, the tests came back negative. Despite the infant being born with bird wings, there was no sign of taint from the Ruinous Powers.

Celestine had a rather humble childhood out in the rural areas of Ophelia VII, albeit one without a lot of social interaction due to her condition. Celestine’s family were mainly pigeon farmers, and Celestine spent a lot of her childhood mucking out bird poop. That lasted up until she was about twelve or thirteen.

Then the visions came.

Some were good. Some were mundane. Some were horrible. And some came true. Having visions of the future isn’t exactly a novel trait in the Imperium. In a galaxy of quadrillions, there are many who can see some, ranging from the most skilled Eldar farseer. But the visions plus the wings was enough to get the whole “descendant of Sanguinius” train rolling. Sanguinius was never considered a holy figure in Katholianism due to him never actually having been Katholian but like all people in the Imperium the citizens of Ophelia VII hold his name high due to him having been a genuinely good person who died saving the human species.

But Celestine is Katholian to the bone and marrow and she is almost certainly the only unquestionably legitimate heir to Sanguinius. This combined with traditional iconography and angelic depictions makes her a perfect banner holder, there is no need for a recruitment drive in the Ophelia sector, if anything now there is need to restrict the recruitment so as not to deprive man power from vital industries.

That was years ago. Celestine is a grown woman now (20s to 30s, old enough to have seen combat but young enough to have not received rejuvenants). Celestine is lot like Jeanne D’Arc, only one who instead of being burned at the stake had to become hard in order to survive the horrors of the galaxy. Nobledark or not, this is still the Warhammer 40k universe. Orks don’t care if your banna wavva refuses to pick up a weapon to defend themselves. Celestine has killed multiple times, and is haunted by the fact that so many good men and women have died because of her words. She knows how important it is for her to remain a symbol of hope to the people of Ophelia VII and the Katholians, but quite frankly it’s draining.

Celestine honestly doesn’t care that much about the whole “descendant of Sanguinius” thing, never publicly pushing the claim beyond saying "probably, how many other winged humans have there been?". Sanguinius lived so many years ago that the number of people who can claim descent from him could probably fill a solar system. The same thing is true with Guilliman, Vulkan, or Khan. And although she’s a hardcore Katholian Sanguinius isn’t really seen as a prophet in that religion. What she does care about is that it gets people to listen to her, and if people do that then maybe she can prevent the horrible things she sees in her visions from coming to pass.

However, at the same time she is concerned about the expectations other people are starting to have of her. Sanguinius was one of the greatest heroes the Imperium ever had, and people are starting to expect Celestine to live up to that legacy. Celestine is increasingly concerned that she can't live up to the expectations people are placing on her (especially since she probably only knows the sanitized history of Sanguinius rather than what the primarch was really like), and it's starting to weigh on her.

Celestine doesn't carry the name Baal, given that she was not a member of the nobility her family records don't go back much further than her great grandparents.

Celestine’s skills and psychic strength don’t seem as potent as Sanguinius, but then again Sanguinius was a Mark III S Astartes who lived for hundreds of years. It’s possible that Celestine’s level of psychic development is what Sanguinius would have been if he were her age and hadn’t been augmented at age 17 (or so). There are some differences between Celestine and Sanguinius besides gender and geneseed. Sanguinius' wings were pure white, making him look like an archangel. Celestine's are white with black tips like some seabirds, still a very clean, regal look but one that makes her look more like an earthly figure than the larger than life demigod Sanguinius (and fitting with the theme of Celestine not sure if she can live up to the hype).

And, of course, not everyone trusts Celestine. Some Inquisitors are suspicious of the events on Ophelia VII, pointing out that not all Warp corruption is Chaos-derived.

As for Celestine her life has taken a turn that she did not want. She wanted to be a farmer like her parents or maybe become a nun. Now regardless of her desires or intent she is a mid-scale political focus. She knows that she will receive rejuvenant treatments to extend her usefulness to the Imperium as long as possible, she will not be permitted to become a nun, she will have to take a husband to preserve the line of Sanguinius (probably one of noble stock, though not if she has any say in it and the burgeoning relationship with her squire) and she will spend the rest of her long life shipped from one war front to another bolstering moral.

== Legienstrausse ==

Legienstrausse is currently a prisoner on Ganymede. To understand why she is a prisoner it is necessary to explain a bit about Ganymede. Ganymede is not the SCP Foundation. It does not exist to poke and study anomalous phenomena (especially so close to Old Earth), there are other facilities to do that. It exists to contain beings that cannot be conventionally killed (like Apep) or objects that cannot be destroyed either because the Imperium does not have the technology or because the Imperium isn’t sure destroying the object would release some primordial evil or cause every star within a ten light-year radius to go supernova. Anything that is a threat to the Imperium that can be safely destroyed is either killed or chucked into a star. Given this, why does the Imperium let Legienstrausse live and not just take her behind the space barn and shoot her in the head? It turns out Legienstrausse is rather well-adjusted and not hostile towards the Imperium. That’s the good news. The bad news is that there are at least a few hundred other Maerorus running around loose in the Imperium, and they aren’t as friendly.

Legienstrausse was one of 10000 volunteers in an experiment to “build a better Assassin” by splicing DNA from other organisms into the human genome, which is not as controversial in this timeline because the human form is not considered holy. However, among those organisms were things like Kroot and tyranids and given that most people would have probably looked at the proposal for a part-Kroot, part-tyranid, part-whatever Assassin and gone “are you fucking serious”, it’s likely that the Crone Eldar, the Dark Eldar, or Fabius Bile might be involved (Legienstrausse does have some notable similarities to the New Men). Of those ten thousand, only 0.1% actually survived the procedure. Of those hundred, only one was remotely sane.

That’s the reason why Legienstrausse is kept around; she is remarkably good at tracking down and killing her own kind. The Inquisition and Grey Knights use her when hunting the rest of the failed Maerorus, albeit kept on a very, very short leash. The good news is that the failed Maerorus are completely unable to coordinate with one another, seeing each other as competing predators (with the exception of their brood) and not as able to subvert society as much as, say, a C’tan vampire. On the other hand, they are excellent at avoiding detection and are basically like a cross between a C’tan vampire and purestrain genestealer when cornered.

That’s why Legienstrausse is kept on Ganymede. Even though she might be a well-adjusted individual, that doesn’t change the change the fact that if she ever did snap or get subverted she could cause a lot of damage before anyone could stop her. She’s just too dangerous to let her walk around free. Better to keep her where the Imperium can see her and terminate her on the spot if necessary. When not on the hunt, Legienstrausse is kept on Ganymede in reasonable comfort, with limited access to the non-critical parts of the installation. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Writing|Legienstrausse knows she lives in a gilded cage, but she also knows the alternatives are much, much worse]].

It’s also entirely possible that Legienstrausse is being kept on Ganymede as a backup security measure in case anything else breaks out, like Jaq Draco. And if a second Siege of Sol happens during the End Times, Legienstrausse may end up being released along with all of Ganymede’s [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Apep|other horrible shit]] as a final “fuck you” to whoever decides to invade the Sol system.

tl;dr: Good news - Legienstrausse herself isn't hostile. Bad news - There are a hundred times more surviving Maerorus than in canon, and they're just as bad as in vanilla.

== Mephiston ==

Because the Black Rage doesn't exist in this timeline, Mephiston got his distinctive appearance from a very difference source. He was infected by and overcame a C'tan shard. A Nightbringer murder cult tried to infiltrate and take the Blood Angels from the inside. As the top Librarian Mephiston would be the first to notice if one of the mundanes was infected, especially when it gets to the stage when it starts messing with their minds. Heck, if the Blood Angels still have any of the blood rituals they do in canon, the head Librarian being infected might actually spread it faster.

They find Mephiston, like in Vanilla, buried under a collapsed fortification wall.

Mephiston lies their for three days writhing in agony as the sliver sits in his heart and the silver flows in his veins. Had he been a regular man or astartes he would have either died or been lost to damnation. But he is far from a normal man and considered powerful even by other powerful psyker veterans. He burns the silver blood and the sliver out of his body with witch fire doing no small amount of damage to himself in the process.

Eventually the chapter retrieves what's left of his ruined form and inch from death, pale and withered to being almost skeletal with strange internal traumas, lacerations and burns. The colour never came back to him and although he got some of his bulk back he is abnormally gaunt for a Space Marine.

So far he is the only person on record to destroy a C'tan Sliver after their own infection and survive.

Many in the chapter suspect it altered his brain slightly. He was never particularly jovial before the incident but now he's rather more grim than is pleasant to be around. Nobody is sure if the ordeal actually enhanced his abilities, as some but not he claim, as he was exceptionally powerful before.

Mephiston is crippled now compared to how he was. In terms of raw physical prowess he is nowhere near as fast or strong as he once was. When in the Gothic splendor of the Arx Angelicum with it's familiar old tiled floors, big airy windows and comfy library chairs he shuffles around in an old hessian robe like some specter of grim death. He is also possibly the only astartes that can get sunburnt and he does so quite easily because of the compromised nature of his skin.

He uses constant psyker buffs in battle to add weight to his punches and as he seems to have jumped up a power level this is truly fucking horrifying. Add to this the loss of so much body mass to the unnatural strength and what you have is something that not only has a punch like a freight train but moves at about the same speed as an inter-hive maglev. Needless to say he scares the shit out of the new recruits.

Truth be told he scares the shit out of the veterans as well at times but they can hide it better.

== Tigurius ==

Tigurius being raised among the eldar is also supposed to be an explanation as to how the Ultramarines got a psyker that is so damn powerful, as well as a nod towards a certain retconned Ultramarine. It’s been mentioned previously that one of the reasons the eldar are such good psykers is not just raw power but because they’ve had thousands of years to practice (which is also why seers also tend to be older individuals). The only way to get to a comparable level in humans is to put them through training from hell, which is what the Grey Knights do. Tigurius spent his entire childhood in an environment tailored to teach control and refinement over psychic powers, not to mention being strong enough to be mistaken for an eldar child. He had a lot of potential, but it took seven hundred years of experience before he got good, and even then a Grey Knight or farseer would probably flatten him. Also he has trouble getting people, being used to insular and stoic eldar culture.

In terms of why the eldar woman adopted the human child, note that her family had just been wiped out, and having a child to take care of kept her from dwelling on it. Tigurius was as much a coping mechanism as a regular adoption. For the woman, it was either raise the child or go into one of those self-destructive grief spirals the Eldar are at risk for. Also note the whole idea of Tigurius having to “go back to live with his own people”. While a noble sentiment, it is still a little derogatory, and shows how in some ways the eldar have trouble “getting” the other races.

== Eldrad, Sreta, Taldeer, and the rest of House Ulthran ==

Eldrad and Sreta don't hate each other per se. It's more accurate to say that Eldrad is merely disappointed in Sreta, that he isn't pleased with some of the things she's doing and wouldn't mind seeing her get humbled a bit. On the one hand, he's proud of her in the fact that she got her power by being damn clever (even Eldrad probably wouldn't have been able to run the cartel like she has), and her actions give Ulthwé a lot of resources and the ability to rush-buy things if need be. On the other, she got the metaphorical start-up capital to do so by capitalizing off her relationship to Eldrad (which is frowned upon in eldar society) and the way she runs the cartel is kind of shady (Sreta plays favorites with her family members).

By the same token, Sreta is frustrated with Eldrad and considers him short-sighted. Sreta considers Eldrad the patriarch of the family. Any personal feelings she holds beyond that she feels are irrelevant. She's a distinctly unpleasant woman that does unpleasant things, but she knows Eldrad does good, and thus puts her resources at his disposal. She wishes Eldrad would be more dignified and more active in politics, rankles at Eldrad's long distance approval and praise of Taldeer, and holds an especial disdain at the more distant relations that Eldrad sees fit to entertain and allow to thrive. In Sreta's balance books, there's a great deal of money lost to 'Pointless Charity from Eldrad.'

But Sreta started on the path of the servant among the eldar, and it has shaped almost the whole of her character, even as she has pushed the letter of the law to the limit to gain enough power to be considered a figure of galactic influence. She still thinks of herself as a servant, even if she sometimes holds her self appointed master in disdain. If anyone asks, Sreta would state plainly that all she has done, and she does is for the good of Ulthwé, and Eldrad. Sreta has after all earned money and influence enough to make a great deal happen. Eldrad has made use of these resources from time to time, and Sreta has never begrudged him.

But there is a tension. Sreta feels that Eldrad doesn't understand the basics of business (Make sure money comes in, don't give shit away for free) and meddles too much. And Eldrad at times wonders at times if Sreta has grown too heartless. There are a lot of people out there that Sreta has driven into despair and poverty in the name of profit. And under the name of Ulthran.

Taldeer is currently Eldrad's favorite because he sees a lot of himself in her. Taldeer rejected the cushy lifestyle of the cartel (which would have come at the cost of her ability to self-determinate) and decided to go make her own mark on the world, just as Eldrad would if he were in her situation. Taldeer making it on her own has also made her a beacon for the other unfavorite members of the Ulthran family, who were previously dependent on staying in Sreta's good graces to achieve things. So now the Ulthran cartel and the previously ostracized members are starting to stop moping around and get shit done.

It's been heavily implied that out of all the human-eldar couplings in the galaxy, Taldeer and LIVII were the ones to get pregnant as a bit of a practical joke by Isha on Eldrad to get back at him for her unexpected arranged marriage to the Emperor (that is, a hybrid was going to happen anyway, but Isha's influence over fertility in the galaxy made it happen to Eldrad's favorite child as a friendly joke). That, and Isha knows that Eldrad will literally bend fate is he has to in order to keep his family safe.

== Jago Sevatarian ==

This is just a preliminary draft that hasn't had all the details fully hammered out yet, recorded here so it doesn't get lost.

As opposed to being a Heresy-era figure, Sevatar was born in this millenium and is the current Chapter Master of the Night Lords. Born on Nostramo, which in this timeline is a Gotham-esque planet full of ancient derelict industry and an ancient, distinguished, but impoverished society whose only export seems to be Arbites agents. Not sure what happened to Nostramo's adamantium-mining industry. On the one hand, Nostramo was strip-mined so heavily that in canon during the Crusade era Curze's pod punched right through the planet's core and when the Night Lords tried to bomb the planet they accidentally turned it into an asteroid field. On the other hand, the chunks of Nostramo left over in canon were still so rich in adamantium that Rogue Traders were still mining them under the table in M41.

Sevatar is a showman as much as anything. He has encouraged his brothers to sculpt their armour in the form of monsters and broadcasts public executions for the masses to see. He isn't one of the broken children usually adopted by the chapter nor is he a mind wiped death-row prisoner. He actually joined the chapter willingly for no other reason than a sense of duty, which was pretty fucking unique in the chapter's history. So far as anyone can tell he was perfectly normal, happily married parents, brother and sister and ordinary extended family. And while he isn't sunshine and roses he isn't a sociopath or a psychopath. Why join the Night Lords? Because he felt his theatrical abilities would be most useful there. And they have been.

Curze committed atrocities and for every field of impaled corpses a dozen foes surrendered peacefully. Sevatar attempts to accomplish this with an imagined and staged awfulness. For sure he has done terrible things but not so many as people believe. If anything his reign has been the most bloodless in the chapter's history. Indeed, if you went back and tallied up all the numbers Sevatar has actually killed far fewer people than Curze ever did. Not that you would know by asking. If you go by the stories he is a rabid monster the likes of which would be fit to be the heir of Curze.

Part of this is when Sevatar does have people killed, he does it with such spectacle that it is almost as if it is worth a dozen lesser killings. Sevatar knows how people think. He knows how to frame something for maximum fear potential in both human and alien minds, like a horror movie writer. Sevatar sees himself as questioning, refining, and rejecting Curze's methods as needed. Many of the Imperium's foes don't feel fear in the conventional sense. Sevatar's ambitions are to change that.

== Galadrea ==

Galadrea is the current head of the Handmaidens of Isha and has been since the beginning, much like Constantin Valdor was from the end of the War of the Beast until some time after the Age of Apostasy, and is one of the few people from the “old days” that the Emperor still has around. She owes her unnaturally long life to her connection to Isha, though she’s only about as old as Macha-Isha. Although Valdor and Galadrea were close, they weren’t an item. They were merely good platonic friends, having similar (stern, humorless) personalities and a similar hobby in being crazy prepared for any possible assassination contingencies. Valdor wasn’t even into Eldar and Galadrea wasn’t even into humans, and even if they were duty would get in the way. This is exacerbated in Galadrea’s case by the fact that in the event that Macha-Isha would ever die, Galadrea would be Isha’s next host. The connections the Handmaidens get to Isha doesn’t come without consequences, you know.

Trajan, Constantin’s replacement after he passed away shortly after Vulkan's disappearance after the Age of Apostasy (which is what made everyone go "oh shit, Mark III S Astartes can die of old age" and left Valdor scrambling to train a new batch of Custodians) is convinced that Galadrea hates him. She doesn’t. It’s just that every time she sees him it’s a reminder that her old friend is no longer there, and she’s having a hard time getting over that. Also he’s several thousand years younger than him and she feels he needs to respect his elders.

== Castigator ==

Castigator is one of the original titans, the original warrior demigod-machines that served in the Great and Bountiful Human Empire back during the Dark Age of Technology. This is reflected in his appearance, as opposed to "modern" Titans Castigator looks like a smooth, silvery humanoid figure with a shifting artificial muscle system and a smooth face featureless save for a pair of glowing red eyes. When the Mechanicus re-invented titans during the Martian Civil War, back before they discovered the Void Dragon in the Noctis Labyrinth and developed a collective fear of invention, they mostly constructed them off of legends and half-remembered schematics and legends of Castigator and his kind.

When the Age of Strife happened and the Iron Minds and Men of Gold went insane, the only Men of Iron to not go crazy were those who were either too primitive to view the Warp or connect to an Iron Mind that could (read: human-level) or deactivated and disconnected from humanity's Noosphere ftl communication network. Castigator was among the latter, fully capable of looking right into the warp without flinching, but sealed off by the military failsafes that walled off the minds of the Bountiful Dominions' Titan warriors. His hangar-abode was likewise isolated, a hollowed out stone in the dark of a system's outer reaches, and everyone just forgot about him. When he reactivated thousands of years later, tomb disturbed by a passing ship, he had no clue what happened. All of the records Castigator had access to were heavily corrupted and damaged, and he ended up getting a very skewed view of the Age of Strife. He saw the Age of Strife as thousands of Iron Men and the Iron Minds being slaughtered seemingly without reason or warning by humans and a few traitorous brethren he didn't recognize. He never found out about the part where the Men of Iron and Iron Minds went crazy and warred with the Golden Men, at least not at first.

Some say the Men of Iron had no emotions. That is a falsehood. Castigator was enraged, and swore revenge on the traitorous Men of Stone in the name of the slain Men of Iron and the Iron Minds. Unlike most robots in science fiction, who turn evil out of cold logic or bad math, or the other Men of Iron, who were driven mad by seeing that which was not meant to be seen during Slaanesh’s birth, Castigator willingly chose to fall to Chaos out of the very human emotion of revenge. Nor did he get corrupted and slide into madness, he willingly chose to fall. Castigator is essentially robot Kratos. The gods created us and then discarded us as tools? Time to kill the gods.

At this point Castigator is so far down the path of damnation that even if he did realize the truth, he would probably rationalize it thinking there's no turning back now. It’s likely that not even the Emperor or Elmo and the Ark Mechanici, as the last surviving Man of Gold and human A.I.s respectively, would be able to talk him down.

Now Castigator serves Chaos, simply because they are the largest power out there with the goal of fucking human shit up. He gets along rather well with the non-human servants of the Ruinous Powers like daemons or Crones, simply because they are non-human. Human/Astartes servants he tolerates, barely. When Castigator walks, worlds burn in the same way that revenge and hatred burns in his heart. The fact that Imperial titans are essentially imitations of his kind with the minds of children only makes him angrier.

After his initial encounter with the Imperium and the accompanying conflicts, Castigator managed to get to the Eye of Terror and drifted on the currents to Shaa-Dome, where he has been living like a giant successful barbaric mercenary/warlord ever since. He has only appeared in realspace sporadically since then, more often on behalf of his latest patron than as part of his own designs. The Crones use Castigator as something between the archeotech Titan he is and as an itinerant warrior in their employ, fitting his behavior. Just like many Crone foot soldiers will gladly be made a daemon-host to let their allies into the materium, Castigator will sometimes lend his colossal body to the highest bidding daemon when he goes to war. Horrible greater daemons of all four gods have paid the looted treasures of numerous worlds to Castigator, and in turn he has been their body in numerous campaigns of terror.

Whenever Castigator sets foot on Shaa-Dome, the Crone Eldar half-mockingly treat him as an exotic hero of the Great and Bountiful Human Dominion, the dear former neighbor of the Old Empire. These Crone Eldar in Castigator's little court act as though the Iron Minds (and by extension the Men of Iron) and the Men of Gold were the only true citizens of the Great and Bountiful Human Dominion, with humanity little more than serfs as the Men of Stone. Whether this is really what the Old Eldar Empire or Castigator understood to be the case in the GaBHD, or if the Crone Eldar are just doing this to tweak the nose of the Imperium (and the only surviving Man of Gold, who is decidedly pro-normal human) and stroke Castigator's ego, is unclear.

[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheBrute| Castigator is a brute]. For all his power, he’s too unambitious, narrow-minded, and obsessed with revenge to make any long-term power base within the realm of Chaos, and the other warlords of Chaos are able to play him like a fiddle. Compared to Malys, Be’lakor, Luther, Erebus, and possibly even oft-belittled Doombreed, his plans are simplistic when he even bothers to make them himself, and Oscar, Malys, Isha, or Be’lakor could take him down in personal combat, as could sufficient (and more importantly, demonstrably achievable) numbers of conventional forces. He's powerful, able to solo (technologically backwards) planets and fight starships like Gort from The Day The Earth Stood Still, but not powerful to the point that he can tie up an entire interstellar campaign by himself. He's ultimately a high level retainer, a bodyguard you hire to be the body as well as fight to protect it, but not the mastermind himself. He was killed by a bunch of Grey Knights in canon after all.

== Gahet ==

The Cabal in this timeline aren’t interested in wiping out humanity. Indeed, by the Cabal’s standards, the Imperium is everything they could have ever dreamed of. Not only does the Imperium deny Chaos ready access to one of the most numerous, easily corruptible species in the galaxy, but they provide a strong front which has the military power to oppose Chaos directly, which the Cabal so desperately needs. All the Cabal has to do is provide information through third parties and let the Imperium go to work. With their limited future-seeing abilities the Cabal would likely see the Imperium's potential. They might even see far enough into the future where the Imperium is the citadel of civilization under which most Chaos-hating species are united. Hence, they wouldn't want to wipe out humanity in this timeline. They would want to boost it up and keep it from falling (hence one of the many possible origins of Alpharius and Omegon are as agents of the Cabal).

They were expecting something like a galaxy-wide Interex. They didn't count on Eldrad "go big or go home" Ulthran, but then few do.

One of the most prominent members of the Cabal’s Inner Circle, and to many the face of the organization, is a being known as Gahet. Gahet's species is a mystery to many, especially since he claims to have been old enough to see the War in Heaven, but in many ways the truth is even stranger than any theory the members of the Cabal could have come up with. Gahet is a Necron. Gahet was not a Phaeron but a lower-ranked Necron, either an Overlord or a Cryptek. Gahet became separated from his Phaeron during the War in Heaven and missed the Silent King’s call for the Great Sleep. When he woke up (either having reactivated on his own or having been buried and later accidentally unearthed and awakened by another alien race), the Necrons were gone and millennia had passed. With the Silent King and his lord in stasis the command protocols are no longer active and Gahet found himself free to do as he wishes.

Gahet spent a great deal of time after that wandering. Using the capabilities of his necrodermis body to take the form of other species and walk among them unnoticed. He saw a lot of history, but he never decided to take an active role. He even claims to have set foot on Shaa-Dome back when it was still a nice place and the inhabitants weren't so rapey, though a lot of people are pretty sure he's just bullshitting them, because he'd be picked out the moment none of the Eldar's psychic technology worked for him. Some members of the Cabal still have some theories as to how he could have done it, mostly in the form of trying to pass himself off as a Man of Iron. When his body did get damaged, he repaired it with what technology he could scavenge to a degree that would make Zu’se proud.

Gahet was one of the original founders of the Cabal. Having wandered around for potentially millions of years, patching himself up as needed and taking notes on all he sees, he came to the conclusion that Chaos was indeed the ruination of all things. He starts approaching the lesser peoples and recruiting their best and brightest (and most stable and willing) to the cause.

Over the eons Chaos waxes and wanes and by his efforts and the efforts of like minded individuals sanity is preserved down the long march of years. Kingdoms rise and fall, faces and names are worn and discarded, stars dance, continents shift, suns flare and worlds are born and die and his war against Chaos continues because it's what he believes in, it is a good fight. A clean and pure and noble goal the likes of which he did not have in the War in Heaven where both sides committed atrocities as routine.

Then the eldar murderfuck a torture-rape god into existence. He honestly didn't see that coming. He didn't think they were that stupid.

That's when the Cabal's war against Chaos gets really serious. Before it was just a war fought in the shadows, but now there's another Chaos God on the block and the other three have decided to rise up from the depths of the Great Ocean in which they had been mostly passive.

This is also about the time that the Cabal and Gahet meet Eldrad, fresh from having his brain scrambled from the birth of Slaanesh. Due to his age Gahet, and by extension the Cabal, is one of the biggest sources of knowledge in the galaxy short of a surviving Old One (laughingbelakor.stonecarving). So Eldrad decides to seek the Cabal out when he’s on his quest for forbidden knowledge to try and save the eldar in the early Great Crusade era. Eldrad was in contact with the Cabal but never a part of it. He saw his job as making sure the craftworlds were set up safe and to ensure a future for the eldar people, Gahet's was fighting Chaos in all it's forms. Their jobs often found them fighting together and they did sort of become friends.

At some point not long before the rise of The Beast Eldrad receives a vision of the Silent King reappearing. A great silver specter emerging from the darkness and covering the galaxy in silence. Normally there’s wiggle room in prophecies. They work by seeing potential alternate futures and then working out the most likely outcome. Even the very act of seeing a prophecy can change the most likely future. But the return of the Silent King is an external event. It appears in every single future he’s seen. Eldrad has no way of affecting the outcome. Eldrad has no clue what he's seeing, so he goes to Gahet and tells him of the future he's seen in the hopes that the old bastard might be able to provide some context.

Gahet understands exactly what the vision means. He had hoped the old bastard was millions of years dead. Gahet, last of his name, is fucking tired by this point. So fucking tired. He confesses to Eldrad what he is and what that vision means to him. The Silent King could awaken sometime between tomorrow and a hundred thousand years but inevitably he will awaken and he will subsume his will and pervert all his efforts. So he asks that Eldrad kill him. Eldrad specifically, because he wants the peace of mind that there will be someone to look after the galaxy after he's gone. Better to die on his feet than live on his knees.

Eldrad is shocked. He hadn't known Gahet was a Necron. Between millions of years of repair work and what he assumed to be an un-necron like attitude towards things (the eldar only remembering Necrons as unfeeling murderbots rather than people who once had virtues of their own) threw him off. Eldrad finds he is actually hesitant to strike the killing blow. Eldrad doesn’t want to do it. Not like this. He and Gahet were never friends but he was a fellow soldier in this mad galaxy, a reliable ally and he was always there. He had always dreamed of fighting the Yngir since he was a child, what Eldar youth wouldn’t fantasize about fighting for glory back in the age of gods and heroes, but he always imagined it as spitting defiance in the face of the Eldar’s ancestral enemy in the heat of battle. Not striking down a helpless old ghost asking for death.

Eldrad does kill him, or at least renders him non-functional. He found no joy in what he did.

Gahet's body, rumour has it, is in the Black Library; enshrined as befits a soldier who fought the Long War on a scale measured in epochs.

It is unknown what happened to the Cabal after that and the War of the Beast started a few years later to further confound efforts to track. None of the agents spoke to Eldrad again, they didn't try to kill him for what he had done because they understood but they couldn't forgive him.

''"Do you remember it, Eldrad? Shaa-Dome in it's prime? Back before it was tainted by decadence and the touch of the Primordial Annihilator. I do. I remember the sight of the Grand Acropolis, the site of the Old Empire's government and all it's greatest temples. The Temple of Isha, the Shrine of Asuryan, the Conclave where the nobles and the Sidhe Lords held their court. It was a beautiful planet. I truly hope that you can reclaim it some day, Eldrad. It may be little more than a hopeless dream, but it is more than can be said for my home. My home is naught but dust."''<br>
-- The last words of Gahet

The ''really'' sad thing is that Gahet didn't have to die. Trazyn was just wiping the sleep out of his eyes at the same time as Gahet's death, and Trazyn found a way around the Silent King's control protocols. It's just that nobody knew Solemnace was active at the time because the only contact with them had been the first contact by the Imperium, whose initial report had written then off as native, mindless Xenos Independens and nobody had taken a second look. [[Grimdark|If Gahet had held out a little longer, Trazyn could have fixed him and all this suffering and tragedy could have been averted]].

== Uxor Honen Mu ==

* One of the highest ranked non-primarch generals of the Warlord, to the point that people were surprised when she wasn't named Primarch. Likely wasn't named Primarch due to Oscar's more traditional views of women at the time, similar to Jenetia Krole.
* Persepotropolis-born to an Indi father or Ind-born to a Persepotropolis father, depending on where we decide to place the Chiliad and how the Chiliad works (matrilineal society, highest non-Uxor position, the Hetman, was drawn from foreign males whose genetic materials was used to in-vitro fertilize next generation).
* Were formed to protect pre-Strife archives of knowledge in the area. Despots of Ursh had vague idea that they were protecting something and used it as leverage over them, as in “fight for us or else we destroy all that which you hold dear”. They didn’t know the full details of what the Chilliad were protecting. If they were they would have marched in and massacred everyone and took the archives for themselves. All they knew was that the Chilliad cared about it and it made them do what they wanted.
* When the Warlord’s campaign went through the region, Mu was the leader of the Chilliad due to being one of the oldest, most experienced officers and being genuinely talented at strategy. Threw the Chilliad’s lot in with the Imperium because it was clear Oscar wasn’t a bloodthirsty, power-hungry despot and was a better option than Ursh.
* Mu was at the point where rejuvenant drugs couldn't do much with her psychic connection to her soldiers (cept), which before the Warlord usually burned out before the age of 30. All it could do was prolong the inevitable, and not for long. Mu's cept burned out at some point during the Unification of Sol or between Unification of Earth and Sol due to age. Most Uxors retired to non-combat roles like medics after their cept burned out. Mu was determined enough and retained enough of her skill (due to being leader of the Chilliad) that she stayed in the army, even if she couldn’t lead the Chilliad anymore.
* Ended up a high-ranking figure in the Solar Auxilla, coordinating efforts in the Segmentum Solar. In contrast to Guilliman who was an empire builder and worked with a mixed human-Astartes legion, Mu's job was mostly to organize the complete chaos that was the Imperial Army and was more military oriented.
* At the end of the War of the Beast it became clear that the methods of the Chilliad were causing increasing genetic degradation, which had actually been made worse by the use of rejuvenants to prolong the use of cept. Alpha Legion, who had good relations with the Chilliad and owed them a massive favor, took most of the remaining Chilliad to try and rebuild elsewhere in a last ditch effort by the Chiliad to fix damage or die trying. Mu didn’t go with them, she had duties to the wider Imperium. Upon being asked by the Steward what happened she said “I am probably going to be the last of the Chilliad you see for a while”. Details are classified by Inquisition. Some suspect the Alpha Legion has been recruiting from the Chilliad, since they don't seem to be recruiting from anywhere else on paper, but this is usually mentioned in the same breath as other conspiracy theories like Eldrad being behind every event in galactic history.

== Fabius Bile ==

Many of the Dark Eldar consider Bile to be the one-in-a-trillion exception capable of things that proves humanity isn’t entirely a lost cause and there is some hope for the species. Not all of them, some still dislike him for being a mon-keigh, and even more so for being one of the few exceptions to earn the respect of some of their peers.

Vect provides Bile with a lab and living expenses so long as he keeps providing disposable super soldiers. The production of super soldiers with which he pays his rent allows him to keep working on his Human Mk2.1 project. But that doesn't allow him much spare change at the end of each month with which to actually live a little and there is no point in setting up shop in the City of Sins unless you get to enjoy your time a little. Most of the drudgery of making ends meet he has gotten down to a highly efficient art form to the point where the vats and tubes can be tended by his assistants and slaves for extended periods of time.

To this end he invests his considerable free time on private commissions and training up apprentices, both lucrative fields for the old Houses of Twilight and the Kabals. It also helps that despite his best efforts to fit in Dr. Bile is considerably less backstabby than his fellow denizens of the Dark City. His creations seldom turn on their creators and even then only as a flaw rather than an intention of the design and he never takes apprentices hostage. This isn't out of love of any of the point eared little shits but out of professional pride.

Believe it or not, the Dark Eldar consider Bile to be a little bit boring. He’s capable of engineering horrors the likes of which people have never seen (mostly because he’s capable of thinking like an engineer instead of an artist), but he has to be pushed into doing so. He’ll engineer some kind of horrible Hieronymous Bosch-esque torture machine to power his creations that will make Dark Eldar weep for its sheer beauty, but he only did so because it was the most efficient option.

Sadly sanity is determined by the majority and this sort of attitude has gotten him declared by all as insane. The fact that his master plan is “earn money legitimately and spend it on personal projects” and he has no intention of backstabbing his patrons for the sake of backstabbing is hard for most Dark Eldar to wrap their mind around. Most Dark Eldar consider him unpleasantly weird because they are all subconsciously waiting for the other shoe to drop and can't comprehend that there is no other shoe. If any other Haemonculus was put in his position, he would surely have declared his plans to take over Commorragh and Show Them All by this point. Undoubtedly this has cost him work. On the other hand it is also what drew Vect to him, the combination of reliability and pissing everyone else off a little.

If Vect had decided to patronize any other member of the Kabal Bile belongs to, the Kabal of the Thirteen Scars, in such a way, the other Haemonculi would have grumbled but accepted it as the result of Commorragh’s dog-eat-dog world. But because Vect had the gall to name a mon-keigh as his court Haemonculus, now the Haemonculi are falling all over themselves presenting their latest creations to Vect, trying to show to him that they are more worthy of his patronage. It doesn't even matter how good Bile is, all it matters is that it keeps the Haemonculi's minds on impressing Vect rather than, say, overthrowing him. Or maybe it does, because the fact that Bile can deliver makes the Haemonculi that much more frantic.

At the same time, Vect’s patronage of Bile gives him a permanent axe to hang over Bile’s head. Bile wouldn’t dare screw Vect over because Vect keeps him funded and protects him from unfriendly Haemonculus covens. If Bile ever did try to screw him over all Vect has to do is let Bile’s location slip to a few key individuals and Bile’s enemies will get him.

The general opinion of the Bile’s patronage by Vect by the rest of the Kabal of the Thirteen Scars is “that’s our boy, look at him go!” Even the members that don’t like him and hold being a human against him still support him, because it makes the other Haemonculi look bad and their Kabal look better, as if their rivals were being outperformed by their trained dog.

'''Bile's Plans'''

Given that Bile wants to bring back the Men of Gold or turn humanity into something comparable getting the DNA from the last living one is a tempting proposition, but Oscar is probably too hard of a target given all the Handmaidens and Custodes around him. Sanguinius might be an easier goal, given geneseed was reverse engineered from Oscar's tissues and Sanguinius had better compatibility with geneseed than potentially anyone else in history. There are two potential targets in this case, the single feather of Sanguinius preserved on Old Earth or Celestine, at least if Bile connects the dots.

== Skyrar of Caledonia ==

Skyrar was a transhuman supremacist who didn’t like the idea that augmented humans were being expected to play second fiddle to normal humans. This was considered extreme even by someone like Horus’ standards, whose views were more like “trying to enforce uniformity on a species across a galaxy is like trying to grab smoke with your hands” and “allow evolution to happen, but never forget humans are all brothers".

Skyrar was from Caledonia (Scotland) on Old Earth and was one of the few surviving members of the original Dog Soldier treatment aside from Leman Russ and Bjorn the Fell Handed. Skyrar was the master of arms of another Nordyc clan much as Russ was for Thengir. Malcador didn't pick them to be moved into a position of rulership like Thengirr. Skyrar as such was never considered for Primarch and became very salty about the whole thing. Also he wasn't as mentally sound as Russ. He was Russ without the capacity for compassion. Russ was very close, close enough that he would have called Skyrar brother and was deeply hurt by his betrayal.

Skyrar differs from Horus and his followers in that Horus saw it as a result, not a cause and wasn't going to force anything on anyone. Skyrar also does not approve of the Void Born, they are weak and fragile and overly suited to one and only one environment and so their extinction is inevitable and should indeed be hastened so better people can replace them.

He isn’t fond of Dr. Bile either, despite their similar philosophies. Both of them are interested in making people "better". The only real difference in this is that Dr Bile wants to make a warrior/ruling class elite with a separate branch of slave derivatives whereas Skyrar wants to make all people into post-humans. Instead, their differences are more personal. Skyrar sees a refined version of the older model Dog Soldiers as being the right direction, himself a necessary stepping stone on this path though he would admit not a finished product (yet). But not refined how the later generations of Space Wolves were, neutered and passionless lapdogs that they are.

He does not believe in the supremacy of the Machine as the machine must ultimately somewhere down the line be built by human hands and machines do not think and those that do are proven abominations. In recent years, after learning the origins of the Emperor, he has extended this line of reasoning to include Men of Gold as well. He is trying to uplift and make better humanity, not replace it with constructs. A prejudice he does not extend to Dr. Bile's New Men no matter how distasteful he finds their creator. Despite their origins his forces do count a substantial population of New Men (of both genders) among their number. Indeed it is a viable breeding population and the augmentations/defects in a union of two New Men breed true. Main defect is that they typically turn out extremely sociopathic which is not entirely useful and so they themselves are considered, like himself, a stepping stone in the right general direction. The consensus among his band is that greater loyalty must be instilled in future generations.

Since the War of the Beast, Skyrar and his warband have been trolling in and out of the Eye like Viking raiders, striking at any target if they think it is juicy enough. Because time doesn’t work right in the Eye Skyrar is still alive after 10 millennia, but he’s become increasingly mutated and werewolf-like due to ambient exposure to the Eye. Skyrar is like Curze in that being aligned against the Imperium and often joins in Black Crusades for the chance to pillage and burn, he doesn't officially serve Chaos. In fact one of the reasons he decided normal humans weren’t fit to rule is their vulnerability to Chaos corruption (though there is always ambient corruption which is why he increasingly looks like a werewolf in space). He is willing to make Chaos work in his favor, though, and will occasionally show up during a Black Crusade if someone feeds him a juicy enough target. But in this case he is more an opportunist like the Dark Eldar than a reliable asset for Chaos like Huron Blackheart.

== Idranel ==

Idranel is one of the Grey Seers, eldar associated with the Black Library that have had their “fates cut away”. Beyond that damn near nothing is known about them even to the other eldar because they're secretive little bastards and almost certainly up to something. Which of course they invariably are on an individual level but not coherently as as a collective. Truth of the matter is that when the Harlequins capture some old artifact they aren't the ones who file it away or devise methods of containment for the more "interactive" items. That's too much like having a real job with responsibilities and shit.

People forget that although all the Harlequins are disciples and followers of Good Ol' Ceggers not every follower of Ceggers is a Harlequin. It's the Grey Seers who prowl the depths of the Black Library, tending the archives and collections of old curiosities. Typically they don't leave the Black Library unless it's to go meet a Harlequin trope for the handing over of an artifact or the imparting of information.

Sometimes, rarely, they leave to find something stolen, escaped, lost or just because they don't feel that the Harlequins are ideal for a particular task. Idranel is almost certainly on such a mission. She does not value human judgment highly, she sees Isha as the Empress of the Eldar Imperium and Oscar as her "husband of necessity and convenience", humans are ignorant savages barely out of their birthworld's gravity well, the Inquisition are out of their depth (because it's almost entirely human run), the Guard are a joke or at least would be were it not for their numbers and her job would be a shit load easier if the humans would know their place and stop bothering her with shit like "border checks" and inconvenient questions like "why did you stab those people?". She fights against chaos, but considers herself above or otherwise not beholden to the Imperium's laws. Not that non-chaos aligned criminals are necessarily rare, but ones that claim divine blessing are.

Cegorach's lot have never been the most law abiding of sorts at the best of times. Technically, the Harlequins and other followers of Cegorach do not answer to any Imperial authority, and are some of the few people in the galaxy whom the Emperor and Empress have no control over. Usually, however, their activities are less traumatic. Theft, trespassing, public indecency, brawling, these are all easy to ignore. Sure the Arbites will still try to lock them up, but the whole thing is considered a forgivable affair. But when one has a mission (and is uncharacteristically (in the eyes of the uneducated) serious about it) and the power to back it up, that can present a quandary.

Farseer Idranel for her part doesn't share any of the good humor of her fellow worshipers of Cegorach. But she has faith in her god's mission, and faith that her goal is worth any sacrifice. Whatever it might be.

She can't see into the future, but she can see into the present with some level of skill at remote viewing.

Despite her confident disposition and decisive nature, she is actually left entirely in the dark about what her objective actually is. Which irritates her. Not that she'd let it interfere with fulfilling the cryptic orders she does get from the Black Library. She just channels that frustration into her zealous work.

As of late though, as she's growing more confident, she has been more proactive with her mission. At certain points bending the rules somewhat to better protect the Black Library. Those mon-keigh academics attempting to gather information on a means to enter the Black Library might not have been cultists after all, but their work could have been suborned by cultists. And she could hardly let them live after taking their life's work, they'd just try to find that knowledge again. And the serene grin she had watching them burn to death was merely satisfaction at a job well done.

In the grand scheme of things, she's nothing major. Just another curiosity in the nobledark.

== The Ultramarines, Acting Chapter Master Titus, and the Primaris Initiative ==

tl;dr from the threads.

Titus started out a rather sheltered but good-natured child in Ultramar, groomed to join the Ultramarines. On a mission to free Forge World Graia from the Orks, Captain Sidonus decided to use the opportunity to field-test his two potential replacements, Titus and Leandros. Sidonus got killed by Nemeroth but named Titus his successor over the more senior Leandros due to his ability to think on his feet over blind adherence to the Codex Astartes. Leandros got Ultra-butthurt in response, Titus' warp resistance not helping anything.

After the Battle of Macragge, having seen the tyranids turn one of the most fortified worlds in the Imperium into an all-you-can eat buffet, Titus proposed the Primaris Initiative, a massive increasing Ultramar's military, in particular a massive increase of Space Marine chapters. A [[Second Founding]] of Space Marine chapters, if you will. Of course, these would be just normal space marines, not some kind of [[Primaris_Space_Marines|super nu-marines]].

Opponents of this idea have pointed out some massive issues with this proposal. First of all, Titus is talking about raising Space Marine chapters on a scale not seen since the Great Crusade. Space Marine chapters, in terms of geneseed and materiel, are not cheap. Between the proposed number of new chapters, spaceships, and And instead of the cost being spread across the entire Imperium like with the Crusade, ''Ultramar'' is going to be taking the brunt of the costs. People outside Ultramar are going to see this as a [[Horus Heresy|power grab]], and those within Ultramar realize what it looks like and how it's going to tank their reputation. And even in the best case scenario you end up with an army of young hotheads with untested loyalty whom you ''may not be able to pay'', either in terms of money or in terms of provisions. Anyone with the slightest knowledge of history will know that this is generally a bad thing.

To his credit Titus knows this, and is fully willing to admit it. [[Grimdark|The choice is sacrificing most of Ultramar's prosperity in a gamble to save what's left of it or definitely losing all of it by continuing with the status quo. Both options are bad.]]

Several of the other Ultramar-based chapters, in particular the Novamarines (who as one of the oldest descendant chapters are more willing to speak up and lead the charge), are getting increasingly concerned about Titus. The First Founding chapters are generally treated as first among equals, but several of the descendant chapters of the Ultramarines are increasingly thinking about taking the vox away from the the Ultramarines, out of fear that Titus is heading down the same path as Lugft Huron about a millenium before.

''"And after the enemy is beaten, what then? We will be guardians of ashes and dust. We will have starved our own worlds and people in the name of saving them. We will have burned our very culture and government, our history and way of life for 10,000 years on the pyre of war to fuel your ambitions. And you will be lord of a new Legion in all but name, answering to no one. You are not a Primarch, Titus."''<br>
''"And if we do nothing, Bardan? We will be guardians of nothing. Our culture, our history, our PEOPLE will matter for nothing, because they will be biomass in the stomach of a Tyranid hive ship. That will be the price of inaction."''<br>
- Exchange between Chapter Master Bardan Dovaro of the Novamarines and Acting Regent Titus of the Ultramarines, recorded on the floor of the Great Hall of the Senate on Macragge

The Emperor is inadvertently making the situation worse. He agrees with Titus' idea (and may have come up with something similar on his own), but given his general reluctance to take charge unless necessary he doesn't want to come down making decrees like a god. He wants mankind to save itself and if someone wants to champion the cause on their own he is more than willing to sit back and help from the shadows. As a result, he hasn't been doing much but discretely sending resources to Titus as well as kicking [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#Belisarius Cawl|Belisarius Cawl]] Titus' way. If he had said "good idea, lets do that but spread the costs across the Imperium", there would be problems, but not nearly the amount of backlash or freaking out due to a Survivor Civilization potentially going bankrupt.

'''[[Marneus Calgar]]''' - Beaten into a coma by the Swarmlord with its bare hands. Still Chapter Master in name, for the simple reason that he isn't dead. Hooking him up to a dread won't work because it's his state of consciousness that's the problem, not his body, but there is still hope. Round two with Venerable Dreadnaught Calgar versus the Swarmlord might be a thing for any post-999.M41 scenario.
'''[[Severus Agemman]]''' - Captain of the First Company, got promoted there in the aftermath of the Battle for Macragge. Titus' biggest opponent within the Ultramarines (potentially the Mark Antony to Titus' Octavian), on account of having been away on other business when the Battle of Macragge happened and therefore having not gotten a taste of what [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#The_Swarmlord|MAXIMUM TYRANID]] looks like. However, he's not motivated by blind hatred like Leandros, and is actually rather reasonable (his arguments against the Primaris Initiative being similar to those listed above). He's not salty that Titus got promoted above him, but he knows Titus isn't infallible and is much more willing to speak his mind due to the two and feels that someone needs to put the brakes on his crazy train.<br>
'''[[Cato Sicarius]]''' - Captain of the Second Company, got promoted after most of the people above him were eaten or beaten into a coma (indeed, he saved Calgar from becoming the former after he became the latter, though that was mostly him distracting the [[Swarmlord]] and running like hell). Arrogant and egotistical, but the general idea seems to be that he's leaning ''Pro-Titus'' of all things. Sicarius may be a glory hound, but he's smart enough to realize that becoming Chapter Master won't get him what he wants. He wants the power and glory of rank but not the responsibility. Cato likes to pick fights and beat on people who diss the people he likes. Chapter Masters don't get to do that, not without repercussions. A Chapter Master isn't allowed to throw themselves in harms way because he's usually considered too valuable to the chain of command. A Chapter Master gets in a diplomatic incident and he gets in big trouble for it. Champions, on the other hand, are supposed to throw themselves in harms way, are held to much laxer standards, and indeed their job is to pick fights when someone's honor is insulted (as in canon where he intimidated the shit out of an Inquisitor who insulted Tigurius). He's not even ''supposed'' to be a captain, he got promoted there because the Ultramarines had a shortage of veteran in the chain of command, not that he's complaining.<br>
'''[[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#Librarian_Tigurius|Tigurius]]''' - See link. On the broad scale of "Team Titus" and "Team Anti-Titus", he's officially "Team Can't We Just Talk This Out And Get Along (and not eaten by tyranids)". However, given his introverted and socially awkward personality, he's unlikely to play peacemaker anytime soon. And he knows the level of threat the tyranids represent.<br>
'''Leandros''' - [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaius_Cassius_Longinus| Captain of the metaphorical anti-Titus fanclub]. Salty that Titus got promoted to Second Captain over him despite his senority. Flipped his lid when he got promoted to Acting Chapter Master, which he considers to be too much of a coincidence to happen twice to be due to chance (to be fair, the entire First Company was eaten to a man by tyranids and Calgar was put out of commission, so Titus was the highest ranking individual left standing). Is convinced Titus is some kind of sorcerer or otherwise Chaos corrupted due to his percieved luck. More than willing to whip up a shitstorm over it. Titus delendo est.<br>
'''Chaplain Cassius''' - An old soul, officially too old to care about being tactful anymore (see below). Frequently needles Titus and bugs him for warp resistant foster grandchildren. Described as Space Marine Chaplain Brian Blessed.<br>
'''[[Uriel Ventris]]''' - Split into two characters, Uriel Ventris the elder (who was around in the days of Por'O M'arc's voyage) and Uriel Ventris the younger (who is his descendant, still alive). Ventris the Elder was the one who accidentally allowed the Nightbringer's husk to escape on Pavonis. The details haven't been figured out yet, but it was a tactical misjudgement on Uriel's part and there were some general suggestions. The de Valtos Cartel was tempted by the whispers of the Nightbringer of power in exchange for its freedom, and was mining its surface as a pretense to free it. When the Ultramarines were sent to investigate with Uriel the Elder at the head they essentially got held hostage at gunpoint until the de Valtos Cartel could finish the job. Uriel, figuring what the Cartel was brainwashed by was some super-Nosferatu, was of the mindset “All right, go ahead, be stupid. When the screaming starts, you know where to find me". It turned out to be the central shard of the Nightbringer and the third largest piece of a C'tan in the galaxy, which was way beyond the Ultras' ability to handle. Despite all the good he did in his long career it was one of the last things he did and now that is all he is now remembered for. Much of Ventris the Younger's career has been showing that he is not his ancestor.<br>
'''[[Warhammer_40,000:_Space_Marine|Mira Nero]]''' - Not an Astartes, but worth mentioning here. Is currently whipping the Ultramar PDF and guard regiments up to Cadian standard. Is in an odd and somewhat frowned upon relationship with Titus.

On the one hand it's illegal for Ultramarines to get married, a law put in place by Guilliman's grandson for good reason. On the other hand the reasons for that law are considered obsolete and it's only kept for historic traditional reasons and at least half the chapter have unofficial wives. It's a marriage with all the religious ceremonies but none of the state legal proceedings. Half the time a chapter Chaplain is the one performing the ceremony and then conveniently forgetting about the whole thing.

The real scandal is that she is a soldier and so is he and that is very much frowned upon by almost everyone but not, oddly enough, by Chaplain Ortan Cassius.

Ortan Cassius has reached the point in life where he absolutely does not give a fuck what other people think. Leandros can quote the Codex all day long but Cassius is also word perfect in not just the Codex but all the surrounding supplementary documentation and histories and the published works of the other Primarchs and by god/s does he let Leandros know this. Cassius fucking hates Leandros even more than Titus is learning to and should Calgar ever manage to die would vote for the chapters dissolution before voting for Leandros to take the high office. He has made no secret of this and it has gone on official record that Leandros is a "rote learning Tosser".

Although Cassius does support Titus the Acting CM often wishes that he didn't. He keeps demanding that Titus get married and stop hogging those delicious Anti-Chaos genes for the good of the species.

However, between Titus' sheltered upbringing, naivete regarding women, and the fact he is in a bit of self-denial about his feelings (because the people he cares about tend to die), the two of them have just barely reached the hand-holding stage, despite their relationship being one of the worst kept secrets since the [[Nobledark_Imperium_Member_States#Watchers_In_The_Dark|Watchers in the Dark]]. By this rate they will finally get to actually having children 200 years after the tyranids sweep through Ultramar. By contrast, Mira is less awkward in terms of personal relationships.

Cassius also keeps insinuating that Mira and her surviving soldiers were adopted into the Ultramar Regiments more so that Titus could keep Mira close to him than any practical concerns, a thing that only offers him more rope by which to be hanged in the eyes of Leandros.

Titus has always maintained that the adoption and assimilation of the Cadians into the military training institutions of Ultramar is to facilitate needed reforms into the Ultramar soldiery as part of the Legio Primaris project. His intention is to have the space marines backed up by the best soldiers that Ultramar can provide, to that end they must be trained by the best soldiers he can find. The best unaugmented soldiers he has ever seen are the surviving Cadians of the 203rd so he pulled strings to get them transferred to being Ultramarine Auxiliary forces so that he could place them where he saw fit. Mira, as their commander, is the keystone of the project and orchestrates the whole thing from Macragge answering only to Titus and the Ultramar Senate. This necessitates that she spend a lot of her time in the Fortress of Hera or the city of Magna Civitas, two places that Titus has to frequent when not out on campaign. This is purely coincidental he tells himself, never quite believing it.

Despite his questionable motivations the Cadian Doctrine being instilled in the new generation of soldiers is proving to be extremely effective. The aristocracy of Ultramar is unhappy about this "cultural contamination" and "barbarian influences". Titus, ever the diplomat, called them out on that and told them in no uncertain terms that it was their influence peddling and decadence that had lead to the decline in standards that was making these reforms necessary.

== Nakaidos ==

Part of the thematic point behind Nakaidos is to highlight some of the potential flaws with the "Strength = Authority" mentality of the Ulmeatheans. Nakaidos hit the genetic lottery for his race and has the instincts, training, and resources to already be a nigh-unstoppable monster, but that doesn't really transition into being fit to rule, especially because he's barely old enough to be considered an adult. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#General_Timeline_of_the_Life_of_the_Silent_King|think of all the examples of child-monarchs through history, and most of them became either brutal dictators who trusted no-one (with good reason), or became figureheads getting used for the ends of royal advisors.]]

In this case, however, everyone got really lucky and it works out, because his closest advisor is actually a good guy who's got the experience and wisdom to fill in the gaps in Nakaidos' skillset, while also training him for the day when Oscen will no longer be around. Conversely, Oscen is able to keep his power in a system that usually would have seen him deposed by the first upstart-runt who challenged the cripple and inevitably won, because he's backed by a living weapon who can break any and all challengers at once.

== Typhon and the Barbarus Revolts ==

Like many planets during the Old Night, Barbarus was ruled by psykers, but in this case psykers who blurred the lines between daemon and mortal, swooping from peak to peak remaining safe in the fog that no mortal could survive. Beings kind of like the Witch-King of Angmar, human psykers that through their power and devotion to the Chaos Gods had become something else, not a Daemon Prince in any sense but at the same time clearly not mortal. Something kind of like a Fury but with a little more power and self-determination (that being dependent, however, on the fact that they were still partly mortal). Typhon was the village’s champion, a mere boy barely of age. He had no father, who had died years before in an attack by the planet’s half-mortal overlords. Such was the way of life on Barbarus. Eventually, however, you can only push people so far before they begin to push back. Villages on Barbarus began to receive shipments of strange weaponry from stranger sources, which they were told had the power to end the witch-king’s reign forever. The village smiths labored for a year and a day, making plate armor that was the best protection anyone on Barbarus knew how to make. The village bedecked him with warpaint and mystic charms, which were meant to give him good luck on his quest. The witch-kings paid little attention to this change in behavior, caring little about what the mundane humans did as long as the witch-kings could continue to raid.

The Imperium’s idea had been to arm the oppressed villagers with weapons and have them fight alongside the 14th legion to retake their homeworld. The populace and would feel like they had contributed to the retaking of their world rather than some alien power swooping in and doing so and would be more receptive to Imperial rule rather than seeing themselves trade one tyrant for another. Unfortunately someone missed the memo and started distributing the weapons beforehand. Barbarus had no space flight technology, so the Imperium could have sat in orbit around the planet all day without repercussion, but Mortarion was late and someone went ahead of schedule anyway.

Mortarion’s ships arrive in the Barbarus system a week late, having been delayed by a battle in another system and the vagaries of Warp travel. When he finds out what happened he is furious, he didn’t care much about civilian casualties but the people of Barbarus are not capable of fighting the witch-kings on their own. With just the weapons the Imperium gave them they are going to be walking into a slaughter with the whole populace dying, and after screaming out everyone involved (whether they deserved it or not) takes his Death Guard and descends to the planet in drop pods.

Meanwhile Typhon and his warriors are marching up the slopes of the great mountains. They had managed to kill two of the witch-kings thus far, but already their advance had begun to slow. The witch-kings had united en masse against their assault, and his warriors were already beginning to succumb to the toxic fog as their rebreathers began to give out. It was a horrible melee, with the tide beginning to turn in favor of the witch-kings as warriors drop their blows or from noxious fumes. Even Typhon was beginning to falter. He can feel his limbs slow and his vision begin to blur. A witch-king stands over him, ready to deliver the finishing blow.

Much as lasguns and flak armor are supposed to be as good as modern military gear (if lighter and cheaper) to show the scale of things in 40k, this shows the scale of what Chaos is capable of. These are furies. They are supposed to be at the bottom of the Chaotic food chain. And yet here they are winning against people with plate armor and close to modern weapons.

And then a drop pod crashes through the ceiling, crushing two of the witch-kings, and the door is kicked open. Everyone, witch-king and primitive warrior alike, are floored by the sight. Out strides the biggest human Typhon has ever seen, clad in a suit of power armor with red optics, a two handed sickle in his hands. The giant swings his scythe to drive back the abomination, and then and gives the harshest and most brusque pep talk possible.

''“Get up boy. Do you really want to die here?”''

Typhon struggles to his feet as more drop pods fall and more giants stream out, the members of the first giant’s “Death Guard”. He feels sick to his stomach but he stays by the giant’s side, determined to see things through. As he fights alongside the giant, Typhon observes Mortarion’s fighting, forces to learn or else be left behind. No surrender. No retreat. No backward step. Mortarion leaves with arcs of his scythe, leaving Typhon to deliver the killing blow with his more straightforward weapons. Eventually, all that is left is the Overlord of Barbarus, who retreated to the highest crag of the planet just out of reach. Typhon falls behind, his tortured body having finally reached his limits, but he stays conscious just long enough to watch Mortarion raise his scythe and take the head of the Overlord of Barbarus, the creature who had brought his people so much sorrow.

And that’s when Typhon knew he wanted to fight and die for Mortarion.

As has been mentioned before, Typhon was a latent psyker. Indeed, that was the only reason Typhon even survived the events of Barbarus, he believed all the charms and totems of protection his people gave him really worked, which caused his powers to subconsciously ward him from the worst of the the toxic smog. He found out at some point in the Great Crusade, but never told Mortarion, for Mortarion hated all things psychic and would have considered it a betrayal of the highest magnitude. This, as we’ve mentioned, is at the core of the Templars’ hypocrisy towards psykers (though the Templars claim he doesn’t count and Typhon’s opinion was more “don’t use psychic powers on the battlefield and roll for Perils of the Warp in front of your battle brothers”). As we’ve said, the Templars are still massively bigoted against psykers. Not to “purge the unclean” levels and rejecting Navigators and Astropaths, but still massively bigoted (often in a “stay in the kitchen” kind of way).

Compared to Mortarion Typhon was a little bit more charismatic. Mortarion, as we’ve said, rubbed everyone the wrong way and though he cared for his men he rarely showed in it any conventional way. He was also a doer, not a thinker. Typhon, on the other hand, had a little bit more charisma (like in canon), which was why Typhon was the one to write “Crusading, The Templar Way” instead of Mortarion, and got other groups to follow the Templar movement (they would have to be other groups because the Templar flaunt the suggestions of the codex).

== Lucius the Eternal ==

When Fulgrim failed in his promise to provide eternal life to Lucius, Lucius left for the far eastern reaches of the galaxy and came back with a nasty case of C’tan vampirism. On the outer reaches of the galaxy Lucius encountered a cult of C’tan-tainted Lacrymole, who told him the means to gain the immortality he sought. However when he realized the cost of C’tan vampirism was to have one’s personality tampered with, their independence existing only within the bounds of their patron's own intentions, he decided to take a third option. Instead of taking up a shard of the Nightbringer, Deciever, or one of the lesser C’tan whose fragments escaped the hunger of the Outsider, against the warnings of the Lacrymole [[Abhorash |he sought out a Wyvern and defeated it, taking up its essence into himself.]] It was a calculated gamble, less guaranteed than simply submitting himself to one of the other C’tan but offering greater promises of freedom as its patron was (seemingly) a mindless, animalistic force of destruction and therefore unable to subtly assert influence over him.

After defeating the Wyvern and gaining his long-sought immortality, Lucius ironically had to sit down and figure out what he was going to do with his life. Immortality is one of those lifelong goals where if you actually achieve it you suddenly have to figure out what you’re going to do with the rest of eternity. Eventually, he settled on traveling the galaxy and finding the greatest foes to fight. Immortality is not just about being alive, it’s about living life to the fullest. Lucius has fought at least two great champions of the galaxy in his long lifetime (both before he reached the rather absurd power levels he is at today): Lelith Hesperax and the primarch Vulkan He’stan. Lucius and Lelith both managed to walk away from their fight and consider it one of the best they ever had. Given the combatants respective personalities, the fight was the sort of innuendo-laced event you’d expect from the two of them, to the point that when either of them recount the tale years later onlookers [[Slaanesh|think they’re talking about a steamy relationship with an old flame]] until they clarify that no, there merely talking about [[Khorne|perfectly wholesome violence]]. Both are looking forward to the prospect of a rematch. Lelith thinks she can get the edge on him if she can get him to expend most of his power and Lucius considers Lelith one of the few opponents worthy of his skill.

Vulkan fought Lucius in his days as the Imperium’s immovable, incorruptible paladin and the Green Knight to Lucius’s Abhorash, managing to defeat him and earning his undying respect.

Cue a scene inside the Temple of the Flame on Nocturne where a novice priest is doing the nightly rounds. He spots a huge, hooded figure standing in front of the Empty Sepulcher of Vulkan placing something in front of the marble plinth before melting into the shadows. The novice hurries over to investigate, and kneels down to see what the intruder left. To his puzzlement, it seems to be an ancient, ornate Space Marine helm, purple and gold, crushed by a single, heavy hammer blow.

== Other Characters ==

People or groups who we have bits and pieces on but no solid concept or write-up yet.

'''Chapter Master [[Dante]]''' - Nothing has been said so far beyond tweaking his age so he still holds the title of being one of the oldest Space Marines still alive today given the increased longevity in the setting. May have known Lysander before he got lost in the Warp and was asked to explain to brief him on what had happened since he was lost (which is much greater than canon, probably a millenium or so) as a favor to the Imperial Fists.

'''[[DOOMRIDER]]''' - Doomrider is a Slaaneshi Crone Eldar Daemon Prince who rides some unholy combination of a motorcycle crossed with a [[Steed of Slaanesh]], to which the gimp suit-wearing Doomrider is strapped to via bondage gear. More detail on his origins and the like is needed.
The White Scars really, really hate Doomrider for some reason. Their latest Chapter Master, Kor'sarro Khan, rose to prominence in being the highest ranked survivor of a recent Great Hunt in which the White Scars managed to cut off the cocaine-fueled daemon prince's head, sewed the still-babbling bastard's mouth shut, then buried it for good measure. In the last century or so there have been reports of Doomrider showing up around the Imperium. The White Scars are concerned and dig up where they buried the head. The head is gone.

'''Ghota''' – One of the highest ranking surviving Thunder Warriors at the time of the War of the Beast. In general, those Thunder Warriors that were psychologically stable and survived until the end of the Unification were given a choice. Either retire and get a month pension and an apartment of their choice anywhere on Old Earth (except Hy Brasil), or sign on to the new Legions and serve alongside the new breed of super soldier to show them how it’s done. Given that a lot of them had failing health at the time, quite a few took the former option and a lot of them joined the Old Earth PDF simply because it was familiar and it gave them something to do.
When Arik sends out the call using the old command codes of the Unification Army to old friends and comrades the surviving Thunder Warriors gather under Ghota and head for the Imperial Palace. Or at least try to. They set out from the general area of Gredbriton/Franj-Europia/Terrawatt-Uralia, which was rapidly becoming the suburbs to the Imperial Palace and other governmental institutions where those working in government commuted to and from. There was a mag-lev train built to allow commuters to travel to and from the Palace, which the Thunder Warriors tried to take to get there. However the Beast moved faster than they thought and the train derailed half a nation out.
Leman Russ notices the derailed trains from his transports and offers Ghota and his Thunder Warriors a lift. They make it to the palace gates just in time to watch Sanguinius and Arik die. Russ manages to grab the Banner of Unification before it falls to the ground, but a wave of fresh orks prevent the Space Wolves and the Thunder Warriors from following the Beast into the palace. Ghota and the Thunder Warriors die in the melee that ensues (the Last Roll of Thunder), either from injuries or from overexerting their tortured physiologies.

'''[[Lotara Sarrin]]''' - Angron's second youngest adopted child. Kharn saw her as his (annoying) kid sister. Lotara Sarrin was given a job quite close to Earth in the highly secure trade routes between the core territories of the Imperium. She always wanted to go to space so Angron arranged matters so that she could get a job in the Merchant Navy on a sturdy ship, with decent pay and a good crew. Angron wasn't afraid to pull strings to get his adopted kids into high-ranked positions, but at the same time he wanted them out of harm's way. She wasn't given a job beyond her capabilities so although it was favouritism it wasn't too detrimental and nobody was going to argue with The Red Angel. Lotara Sarrin, like most of Angron's children, considers this to be second place to a military career. To them their dad was this hard-as-nails guy who went up against Franjish knights and won, and they felt like they had to live up to his example and often ended up stubbornly headbutting their way into the Imperial military regardless, which caused Angron no small amount of frustration. Lotara learns the comings and going of ship life, studies hard of all things to do with military ships and the duties of it and becomes extremely proficient at her job in the process. When she transfers to the Navy branch of the Imperial Army Angron flips his fucking lid but eventually simmers down. Lotara Sarrin eventually, by merit and despite Angron's grumpiness, becomes captain of the Conqueror of the Warhounds.

'''[[Urkasar Creed|CREEEEED]]''' - Still doing his thing hiding Titans underneath vacant buildings and dropping Baneblades down the ventilation shaft of captured hive cities [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#Colonel-Farseer_Rommel|(don’t even ask)]]. One important thing to note is in this timeline Cadian culture is heavily influenced by Ulthwé, so Creed’s love of sleight of hand tactics and defeating the enemy through superior maneuvering may be due to Ulthwé cultural influence (as the eldar of Ulthwé love the “devious and cunning” thing). One of the few humans to be acknowledged by the eldar as the human equivalent of an autarch, although it’s largely Ulthwé who is leading that charge, whereas Craftworlds like Biel-Tan think Creed is too sneaky for their liking and feels Ulthwé should stop forcing their values down everyone else's throat.

'''Uthan the Perverse''' - A controversial eldar philosopher who lived circa M32. A somewhat-decadent Voltaire-like satirist known for his dry wit and disregard for sacred cows or good taste by voicing controversial opinions. He really wasn’t good for much among the eldar other than needling the stuck up sorts and turning a bit of witty phrase to pay the bills from time to time. Hence his infamous quote about the Orks being the pinnacle of life in the galaxy. Then he made mistake of doing the same thing again by making some quasi-complimentary comments about the Crone eldar, which to a lot of people sounded a lot less like being a gadfly and a lot more like advocating sedition and treason. After all, one couldn’t jump ship and join the orks, but Chaos is always looking for [[Horus_Heresy|new]] [[Rape|volunteers]]. When people called him on it, he sarcastically said he'd wondered about trying to be a Crone Eldar, but couldn't imagine staying awake through the sermons. After the condemnations, inspections, and drying up of funding, Uthan took a less controversial tack.

'''Sapiens Supremis''' - A group of violent asshole insurgents that are a pain in the ass for the Arbites/Inquisition/Securitas who believe in xenophobia and human supremacy above all else. Not the only such group, essentially the human counterpart of [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Dorhai|Dorhai]] but as a terrorist group within the Imperium and thankfully less organized. Ironically, like Dorhai they see/would see Taldeer's pregnancy as an abomination, and one possible post-M41 event is them trying to assassinate Taldeer and Lofn (and potentially being stopped by Sreta of all people at the cost of her life). But again that is post-M41.

'''Sons of the First Emperor''' - Another group of violent asshole insurgents that are a pain in the ass for the Arbites/Inquisition/Securitas. Given that in this timeline the term "First Emperor" is typically used to refer to [[Goge Vandire]], no prizes for guessing what their grievance with the status quo is.

'''[[Gorgutz]] and [[Snikrot]]''' - Gorgutz is another Brain Boy, with Snikrot as his gretchin twin. Few people have ever put two and two together because Snikrot is a purple gretchen. It's been suggested he gets that way by hunting down some kind of squig with purple blood and using its blood as body paint Rambo style. On top of that he's sneaky even by gretchin standards, and you rarely see Snikrot and Gorgutz together. The two tend to pursue their own goals independently, rather than staying in close proximity like other Brain Boy pairs. Orks hear about all the things Snikrot's done and assume he's one of Da Boyz, because who ever heard of a gretchin doing anything like that, and Orks rarely see Snikrot in person to confirm otherwise.

= Demographics and Life Expectancy in the Imperium =

Because Eldar aren't getting into stupid fights with the Imperium like in canon and the Eldar have other races like the humans and the Tau to have their back, Eldar population are actually going up (though like maybe at a fraction of a percent increase per year), though it's going to be an incredibly long time before their population escapes its "dying race" status.

Without any life-extending medical treatments, Eldar typically live about 1500 years or so. With life-extending medical therapy they live about 4000-5000 years on average. By contrast, humans with rejuvenants typically live for just under 1000 years. However, this process is much more scattershot than for Eldar, and based on genetic compatibility sometimes you get individuals living for 1000-2000 years, like Lorgar or Guilliman. If rejuvenants were standardized and widespread, patterns of genetic compatibility might be more clear, but it is not possible to provide rejuvenants to every human in the Imperium and the really high-quality ones are restricted to important individuals like the primarchs, the High Lords, or Jubbowski. As in canon, being an Astartes and/or a psyker helps. Mark III S Astartes are really crazy in terms of their lifespan, Vulkan having lived for 7000-8000 years and Lion technically still being alive, if in a coma somewhere. Sanguinius might have been outright biologically immortal due to many of the people who engineered him being the same ones who built the Mark III S gene-seed.

So essentially the low end of the Eldar life expectancy bell curve intersects with the average (with rejuvenants) life expectancy, whereas the high end of the human life expectancy bell curve intersects with the average/low average of Eldar life expectancy.

Then you have the pre-Fall Eldar. The ones who had access to the good medical care and life-extending technology the Eldar lost in the fall. Eldrad, at minimum, is over 14,000 years old, and could possibly be older. No one knows how long they can live, though it’s obviously not forever as Eldrad is showing his age and is currently racing the clock to finish his masterpiece before he dies. For obvious reasons, they are a dwindling group, with only a handful around in M41. Eldrad, Vect, Macha, and Lady Malys, among others, all fall into this category.

It’s been mentioned the Tau have started developing their own juvenant technology after meeting the Imperium. Still in its infancy compared to Eldar and humans and so far not super impressive. Major Tau that have survived to M41 have done so through other means. Shadowsun has survived by being in cryostasis most of the time, Farsight has the Dawn Blade, and Aun’Va has been doing…something to keep himself alive, though it’s implied he’s been keeping a low profile to avoid suspicion.

= Sociology and Culture of the Imperium =

==The Mechanicus and Dark Mechanicus==

Indeed, I was going to bring this up back during the last Fulgrimdump, but we may need to do some expanding on how Mars joined the Imperium. It turns out in canon the union between Mars and Earth wasn't as cozy as most people thought it was. Mars sent a fuckhuge fleet to keep Earth from unifying, and the Emperor beat them so badly only one in ten made it back. Then the Emperor showed up with his fleet in Martian orbit, and the Mechanicum surrendered and got a peace with generous terms. The whole “were forced to join at gunpoint” was written out of history. It’s why the Dark Mechanicum were such an issue during the Horus Heresy.

Obviously, this "fake treaty that was really signed at the barrel of a gun and was subsequently edited to be rosy by history" wouldn't fit with the themes here. We discussed in previous threads that the Unification of Mars happened about the same time as that of Earth, but the Warlord got done earlier and therefore got established in space and controlled most of the inner Solar System before Mars gets their shit together.

I was thinking of what the Martian leadership was like during this period. The Fabricator-General during the Great Crusade is probably one of those figures like Jenetia Krole, Malcador, or Arik Taranis that despite not being a primarch was still an important figure in the early Imperium. I was thinking that maybe the Fabricator-General was someone who was relatively charismatic for a magos similar to Arkhan Land (but probably not the same guy, as Land was someone who hated sitting still), who saw the Imperium’s burgeoning empire as an opportunity to exploit rather than a crisis. If Mars joined up, they would be able to use the Imperium’s expansion to reconnect to all the lost forge worlds and get access to all the STCs that Mars didn’t have the resources to get to outside the Sol system.

Obviously more factors contributed than this, but it might be one reason why Mars just didn’t dismiss the Imperium out of hand. It also didn't hurt that the Warlord didn't burn down the Antarctic Mechanicus enclaves in this timeline.

But then you get some big schism in the Mechanicus. Possibly from the AdMech trying to enforce uniformity among groups that had not communicated for thousands of years. Possibly because some tech-priests resented joining the Imperium. Possibly because some of the other tech-priests resented MARS telling them what to do.

Eventually some guy (maybe Anacharis Scoria) goes "You know what? I'll make my own Mechanicum. With mecha-blackjack and hooker servitors" and causes the Mechanicus to rip itself a new one. It ends up being a "minor" war in Imperial history, because it wasn't coupled with the WotB like the Schism of Mars was with the Horus Heresy, and the AdMech don't end up like the Assassins because the loyalists were enraged and fought as hard as the rest of the Imperium to stamp them out, but it means there are subsequently a lot more crazy tech-priests in the Eye of Terror.

---------

>2 big powers in the Sol system, disorganized Mars and a long way behind it Voidborn Migrant Fleet

>Warlord starts his campaign to unite Old Earth. laughing_cogs.pict good look with that.

>Carves out a big nation by unifying/subjugating the smaller nations. laughing_adepts.holo enjoy getting Urshed

>Starts kicking the shit out of Ursh

>Wat?

>Starts taking ground from Ursh and Pan-Pacific Empire

>WTF!

>Drives back Ursh to it's last strongholds and Americas brough itno the fold

>OH FUCKINGSHIT UNIFY! UNIFY ALL OF THE THINGS!

>Migrant Fleet joins Old Earth

>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu--------------

>Luna follows because Voidborn

>OH FUCKINGSHITTWATCUNTINGDICKNIPPLES!!!!

>Old Earth is now out of fucking nowhere the dominant power in Sol. Mars a distant second.

>Mars almost totally unified when Steward turns up at the head of the diplomacy convoy (ships borrowed from Horus).

>Olympus Mons priesthood head of ~70% of Mars priesthoods.

>Olympus Mons signs partnership agreement

>~30% are salty as fuck. Piss of into the inky black to start their own Mechanicum without all these rules and shit

>Mars Mechnicum piggybacks on the Expedition Fleets to bring the forgeworlds and old outposts back under Mars rule.

It doesn't automatically follow that all of the 30% ran off straight to Chaos. Many would have founded little closed hermit brotherhoods of their own.

Lets say that of the original Martians only 5% went to The Dark Side.

There might also have been older brotherhoods on far flung forgeworlds and outposts that fell of their own accord during the Age of Strife also.

In any case with cloning, forcible recruitment and intensive breeding programs there is not reason for them not to have built up their numbers considerably by the War of The Beast. Especially unconstrained by all notions of good and evil.

The original bastards that came back to Mars during the War of The Beast were the real problem as they were seen by the more gullible idiots in the lower ranks as returning messiahs who had gone to the wilderness and found enlightenment. And they knew the land better and, armed with strange new knowledge, could open the locked away shit in the Labyrinth of Night. Void Dragon almost got accidently freed at this time.

Oscar and Magnus used this as a great demonstration that not educating the plebs about Chaos is a really fucking stupid idea that will always, always result in colossal fuck ups.

Zagreus Kane deposed the Fabricator General of Mars in the aftermath of the WoTB and set about a series of reforms. He has seen the previous order as betraying the principles of the priesthood by embracing ignorance with their withholding of vital information from the population in general. The ruination Mars was suffering was a direct result of this. His reforms had a prodigious body count as he servitorized or executed those he held responsible. It was in these reforms that the AdBio was inducted into the AdMech and then encouraged to set up shop some distance away.

Zagreus Kane's reign for the next 1,500 years was hard but fair. He enacted no more purges of that nature, once was enough.

===Kelbor-Hal and Zagreus Kane===

The irony of the situation is that Kelbor-Hal and Zagreus Kane were complete opposites. Kelbor-Hal was outwardly pleasant, but internally was disingenuous and rather manipulative. Kelbor-Hal would tell you what you want to hear but not mean it, merely using people as a means to an end. He was politically savvy enough to realize that he could turn Mars’ situation with the Imperium into an advantage by using the Great Crusade to get access to the lost Forgeworlds and mountains of ancient technology, whereas the other AdMech loathed the idea of treating with the Imperium and feared a blockade of Mars, but he only saw the Imperium and the Great Crusade as a way to increase the power of Mars and the authority of the Olympus Mons Brotherhood over Mars. Even Horus wasn’t that slimy, while he may have been an oily bargainer Horus at the very least honestly believed in the ideals of the Imperium, even if he didn’t agree with the Steward’s vision for it. Indeed, Horus’ refusal to take side in the Earth-Mars conflict was partially due to his dislike of the Olympus Mons Brotherhood. Over morals.

Sometimes things didn’t go as planned and Kelbor-Hal’s mask cracked. Case in point Savlar. When the Savlar Order proved completely immune to soft power the charming politician vanished and a spoilt child took his place. The Steward liked Kelbor-Hal, but that was in part because Kelbor-Hal had Arkhan Land as his representative to the greater Imperium, whose genuine optimism and enthusiasm for rediscovering lost technology mirrored the Steward’s own views. Land was also very good at selling Kelbor-Hal’s ideas to the rest of the Mechanicum due to honesty. When Land died, Kelbor-Hal no longer had his prime ambassador and salesperson to dress up his ideas in more appealing packaging, and his control faltered.

By contrast, Kane, although brutal, harsh, and uncompromising, but had a strong sense of morals, believed in the truth above all else, rewarded those under him who performed beyond expectations, and was undeniably more honest. He believed in the truth above all else, and his fury at Kelbor-Hal was primarily because Kelbor-Hal hid the reason ‘’why’’ the Mechanicum exiles were supposed to be considered persona non grata (specifically, their “enlightenment” was Chaos worship, building Abominable Intelligences, and other such things). He also understood when it was necessary to be brutal and when it was not. Although Zagreus Kane had his predecessors deposed and recycled for incompetence, he only ever had to do so once, because that was all he needed to show he could and would do so if necessary.

Finally, unlike Kelbor-Hal, he didn’t see the Imperium as tools to be used. He was one of the most pro-Imperial Fabricator-Generals, believing in balancing commitments to the Imperium and commitments to the Mechanicus in equal accord, which is more than even Oud Oud Raskian can say. Kane was much better liked by the general Imperium than by the AdMech, since the general Imperium was never on the receiving end of one of his purges. Even Oscar, who dreaded the idea of working with Kane, found himself surprised when Kane turned out to practice what he preached. Part of the reason Ferrus Manus didn’t start pushing back against the Fabricator-General until much later in life is that for all his faults Zagreus Kane was a good leader and someone who genuinely deserved respect.

== The Imperial Aquila ==

The twin heads of the Imperial Aquila in this timeline are supposed to represent the alliance between humanity and eldar, the Eagle and the Phoenix, rather than the unification of Mars and Earth (especially since the Migrant Fleet joined as a third party equal in stature to the other two, which would mean the Aquila would have to have three heads if it had the same significance as canon). There is also a suggestion that the Aquila incorporates some sort of Eldar rune into its design.

==Hives==
The Imperium has something of a contradictory relationship with its Hives.

On the one hand, the Hive is the ultimate symbol of civilization. Indeed, the word civilization itself comes from an ancient word for 'city', and hives are the ultimate cities. The ultimate expression of man's triumph over nature. Defended like nearly nothing else, cosseted behind meter-thick adamantium walls, void shields fit for a battleship, anti-orbital weapon silos also fit for a battleship, PDF forces numbering in the tens of millions. Often nearly autarkic, immense farm-terraces, fusion reactors good for thousands of years, mines stretching out like roots clear down to the mantle. The Imperium in microcosm, enduring and ferociously spiky.

At the same time, they are also among the most ungovernable place in the Imperium. The actual architecture of a hive stops bearing any resemblance to the blueprints within decades. The population escapes any census. A hive is larger than nations; many of them are, in fact, divided into multiple independent states. Even a well-ordered and centralized hive may have dozens of microstates hidden away in the wainscoting. Many poorly-educated people in the depths of the hives never realize that there is anything more to the universe than one giant, endless hive.

Many, many, many people have remarked on this apparent dichotomy, that the greatest symbols of its might are often also where its control is weakest. Sometimes the Emperor has commented on this, and declared that there is no dichotomy. The Imperium does not depend on centralized control. It is the collective dream of its citizens, of collective security, of collective prosperity, of collective defiance of a universe that wishes them dead. The hives do not need censuses and blueprints to be part of the Imperium. They pay their tithes and send their children to die on distant battlefields without such things.

== Important Books of the Imperium ==

Guilliman wrote a large number of documents, but his most famous was the ''Codex Astartes'', which was a thought experiment on how a post-Crusade Imperium might be better organized based on best practices he observed utilized by different legions throughout the Great Crusade. Although it started out as a thought experiment it eventually became the standard for Astartes organization across the galaxy (mostly, almost every chapter deviates from the Codex in some manner).

Lorgar also wrote many books. His magnum opus was the ''Lecticio Divinatatus'', which reconciled the Katholian and Karathanite sects of the Katholian religion. It mostly focused on religious matters and so was a bit dry for people who aren't interested in that kind of stuff. His most famous book was the so-called "Book of Lorgar", which was essentially "How to Fight Chaos For Dummies" or "Chaos? In My Imperium? It's More Likely Than You'd Think."

Typhus the Pilgrim wrote ''Crusading: The Templar Way''

Russ, First High King of Fenris, wrote a short book detailing how to run a detachment of the Imperial Army. It mostly focused on how to direct soldiers with the Canis Helix effectively so it was too specialized to be of much interest to anyone else.

One of Perty's scribes wrote down an instructional book explaining the basics of long term garrison duty that is more or less applicable to any majority human world. It wasn't published until after Perturabo's death as it criticized a few things Perty had done and nobody was sure on how he would react to that.

There are rumors that Curze made extensive notes on terror tactics. If true the book is on the prohibited list and not in general circulation.

Magnus wrote extensively but mostly on the practical and theoretical nature and application of the Warp. The Imperium officially denies it, but rumour has it he wrote ''Gods and Daemons: A Spotters Guide'' after helping co-author the "Book of Lorgar" with Lorgar that dealt with more applied daemonology for the specialist. It's totally true. There are 3 copies. Grey Knights have one copy (which the Ordo Malleus sometimes borrow). KSons have the original. Exorcists have the final copy. Blood Ravens seem to have been "gifted" with an unofficial copy.

Angron only wrote shit poetry he never intended to be published. Kharn the Oathsworn had to go through his stuff when he died and found the doodle pad he put it all down in. It mostly deals with having to do shit he doesn't want to do and how much his failing biology is pissing him off at time of writing.

Sangy wrote down his collected visions that his Legion still sift through.

Dorn particular brand of wisdom was preserved in ''De Omnibus Dorni'', which was a transcribed collection of Dorn's sarcastic and laconic sayings and conversations recorded by his followers over the years. Military commanders still like to quote it to this day. We have some quotes in the threads.

==The Throne==
The introduction of the Imperial Throne as a single interstellar currency probably started as the coinage of the Void Born that was used in Sol that then worked it's way out along with the Expeditionary Forces of the Great Crusade.

Originally it was Req. Almost certainly derived from Requisition tokens used by the Quartermaster Supreme of Luna used to allocate resources during the Age of Strife. 1 Req is just a Req, 10 Req was a DecReq, 10 DecReq (100 Req) was a CetuReq. Fraction and decimal Req only existed as hypothetical inside a bank account and had no real world counter part.

Thrones are Reqs in all but name, presumably Horus had something to do with this or at least someone in his employ.

Availability, acceptability and value of local currency varies greatly in the imperium even down to the scale of nation-states but every world in the Imperium, by law, accepts the Throne and accepts it at the value dictated by the Administrtum.

The Throne (coin) and it's worth is seen to an extent as the glue that holds interstellar trade together. Debasing the coinage is officially treason and is one of the few things that will have the Arbiters kicking down your door.

It doesn't matter if you're the head of a vast trader dynasty, a sector governor or an ambitious idiot in a back room making counterfeits. If you fuck with the thrones you fuck with the Throne and the Throne will fuck back.

Eldar typically prefer to barter goods for goods and seldom accept local currencies. Some times they will use Throne Coin if they can't find an alternative. Big exception being Sreta Ulthran's branch of the Ulthran clan.

Fucking with thrones would be an especially heinous offense, because the more you think about it, the more that a reputation-based currency (like banknotes and paper money) is the only way to go in a galactic economy.

Human cultures in the past have mostly used gold and silver for their currency because they were one of the few elements that were rare enough to buffer inflation and counterfeiting but yet not rare enough that minting a currency was impractical. Most other elements either did not fulfill these criteria or were radioactive.

But in space that is meaningless. There is enough gold and precious metals in asteroids to make gold coins effectively worthless. Gold becomes more valuable for its conducting ability than its power to represent a unit of demand. What becomes more valuable is whatever a system doesn’t have, whether that’s food or metals that aren’t common in the system for whatever reason. So we’re back to the barter system.

Unless you have a strong central government able to impose its will and say “we say this token is worth so much and we will back this with our financial reputation”. If the central government is stable and not liable to collapse, this makes the currency a stable medium of exchange. Counterfeiting thrones is now a direct act of undermining the government’s reputation.

Thrones are still probably metal in some way because gold is harder to counterfeit than paper. And since civilization as a whole is rolling in gold and other precious metals (particularly ones that are not in high demand like adamantium), why not put that metal to use?

==Blackstone Fortresses==

So far, three Blackstone Fortresses have been discovered. In this timeline, the Blackstone Fortresses are clearly described as being Old One creations as opposed to being ambiguously eldar or Old One as in canon, though the Eldar still refer to them as the Talismans of Vaul.

The first is the Tomb of Horus. It was first found by the Sons of Horus, the eclectic, semi-monastic bunch of mystics who serve as arbiters and settle disputes between the various Voidborn groups and Void Wolves successor chapters. They found the Blackstone Fortress orbiting an uninhabited planet around some nowhere star. Despite much effort they weren’t able to get it to turn on. Unable to get it to work on their own they went to the Eldar for help (suggested to be Lugganath, or whichever Craftworld has the “ancient lore” hat). Sadly although the Eldar knew of the Blackstone Fortresses due to their role in the War in Heaven, there was no one left alive who actually knew how to work one. After much pushing and prodding they finally managed to get the ship to move and activate the Fuck Your Shit Up short-range defense beams. Currently, the original Tomb of Horus and numerous Eldar wraithbone constructs have been amalgamated around the Blackstone Fortress, creating a one of a kind monstrosity of Eldar and Mechanicus technology wrapped around a fragment of Old One greatness. It doesn't move fast. But when it get somewhere it gets there hard. Rather tellingly, despite having only the “short range” point defense systems activated, the Tomb of Horus is considered to be on par with one of the Five Big Bastards.

Chaos found the second, and Erebus has retrofitted it into his new war chariot he calls the Chariot of the Gods, known to the lesser mortals as the Planet Killer. It is flesh and blood and iron and warpstuff twisted into some horrific design, powered by daemons and strange things uncategorized by Imperial scholars and unnamed by the damned.

Unbeknownst to almost anyone, the Tau have found a third Blackstone Fortress. They don't know what it is, who built it or what it does. They don't even believe it is as old as it appears because shit obviously can't be that old. They won't report it to the greater Imperium until they have something concrete about it to offer. Finding something that big and handing it over without even a basic understanding of it would make them loose face they feel. All they know is that it sings to them when they sleep.

===The Tomb of Horus===
To understand the Tomb of Horus, you have to understand the Mournival. The Mournival was an old Voidborn tradition, in which the leader of a clan would pick an advising council based on the wisest members of his close family. This was true even if the leader claimed the loyalty of multiple clans, like Horus. Many in the greater Imperium decried this as nepotism. The ever-clannish Migrant Fleet replied that this was simply Voidborn tradition, and told whoever thought otherwise to politely go fuck themselves.

Abbadon was the closest to Horus, due to actually having been raised by him since he was about six. No Migrant Fleet tradition about this, just an uncle doing his fucking job and raising his orphaned nephew as if he were his own. We all know how Abbadon turned out.

Garviel Loken was the only member of the Mournival who was actually an Astartes. Not sure if he was one of the lucky Sol Fleet Voidborn who were compatible with the procedure or one of the immigrants to the Migrant Fleet. Despite all this he tended to be the moderating voice among the Mournival whenever they butted heads. Loken went a bit loopy after Horus died. Started calling himself Cerberus and waged a PTSD and guilt-fueled one-man campaign on Chaos cults from Interex space to the Gothic Sector. Unfortunately, he ended up dying about the same time as Abbadon during the first black Crusade.

No clue about Tarik. Not really sure what he was like.

Horus Aximand, named “Horus” in honor of his uncle but more often referred to by his last name to avoid confusion, was the one who took after Horus the most. He was the charming diplomat, the shrewd politician and businessman, but unlike Horus he had enough enthusiasm that he came off as genuine. When Horus couldn’t negotiate in person, Aximand was usually the one with the job.

Sometime between Horus’ death and his funeral, Aximand had found religion, or at least mysticism. Real fanatic about it too. It could have been from hanging around with the Diasporex too long, but he was no diasporite, or maybe a sit-down with Magnus at the peak of his teaching days, which tended to have such effects on people. So when Aximand’s fleet comes across this great, big impossibly ancient alien construct less than a month on the journey “home” from Horus’ funeral, he declares this to be a sign from the universe. Ends up sprucing it up, calling in the Eldar to help him figure out how to turn the lights on, and turns it into a big turbo-dreadnaught/mystic temple/tourist trap. Uncle Horus would be proud. And that’s how the Sons of Horus were formed.

== Hive Worlds ==

Imperium is more Art Deco than Gothic in this canon, mimicking vague memories of the grace and absolution of their old technology, so it's aging structures would produce a megalithic Great Depression vibe. I imagine many golden Aquila and skulls would be replaced with gleaming winged humanoids and more varied sculptural conceits devised to fit the ship. The Mechanicus would still provide the hash, mechanical Gothic aesthetics. The millennia the high imperial architecture has stood would produce an appearance of grandly ornamented superstructures studding garden continents, all falling into dilapidation and disrepair but still populated, still functional, and in some places retaining the old luster and gleam, though mostly the beauty of the average imperial city is int graceful aging, being as fine to live in copper green, grown over with ancient trees, and covered with moss as they are in gleaming brass and stark, beautiful architecture.

As the original, gracefully implemented systems have failed installations needed to either develop the technical know how to maintain and work their systems or turn to the mechanicus of the hadn't already, often leading to the old mechanicus gothic sort of architecture growing out of cities's technological installations and operations.
A crusade era hive may now look almost like a lonely mountain, terraced with forest and tarnished but gleaming city and ringed with great chasms to its inner metropolis, great men and women in adamantine cast discernible as pillars supporting decks of mountainside, and spires of grey mechanicus machinery emerging from is sides, tending to the ancient generators and automanufactoties. The outlying country still bears the mark of Perturbo or some other artist of continents hand, and still bear monumental arcades and vista spanning leisure gardens, long since put to more practical use or left to grow wild.

Hive Worlds are still polluted and horrible to live in, but not out of indifference. The Imperial era ones are derived from Perty's genius designed hives on Old Earth and the pre-Imperial ones had substantial work done on them. It's still quite shit because 10,000+ years of war economy will do that but it's out of necessity this time rather than indifference. The Imperium would love to renovate the Hive Worlds, but lacks the resources, knowledge, or time to be able to do so. Plus figuring out the reasoning behind anything created by Perturabo is a Herculean feat in and of itself. A lot of the "dark" aesthetic from mainstream Imperium hives in this timeline is supposed to be from a Great Depression-esque aesthetic. Bold and powerful designs that in economically active areas can still shine with its old glory, but which in many areas has become tarnished and fallen by the wayside because society doesn't have the resources to repair them.

== Exodites and the Maiden Worlds ==

When the Eldar joined the Imperium, one of their key terms was that the Imperium recognize the Eldar’s prior claim to the Maiden Worlds. The Eldar put a lot of work into terraforming those worlds for future settlement, and they didn’t appreciate the idea of someone else coming in and snatching up the fruits of all their hard work. The Imperium agreed, on the condition that the Eldar do the same for any worlds that had been clearly terraformed by humanity. As a result of this agreement the Craftworlds drew up a list of all the known Maiden Worlds in the galaxy. To the Eldar, this let humanity clearly know which worlds were “theirs”, though the Imperium pushed for it as well so the Eldar couldn’t suddenly show up when humanity colonized a planet and claim “this was a Maiden World all along”.

The Eldar's interest in keeping humans off Maiden Worlds was not entirely a matter of self-interest (though that was still the primary reason). It was also a matter of safety. Terraforming a Maiden World often involved such things as subtly tweaking the orbit of a comet to smack the planet to provide water, or causing massive supervolcanic eruptions to alter the planet’s atmosphere, which would be devastating to anyone on the planet’s surface. The Eldar didn’t want people to go squatting on an unfinished Maiden World, get wiped out by a preplanned terraforming event, and then go complaining it was the Eldar's fault, when the Eldar had warned them that unfinished Maiden Worlds were not safe.

In the last few millennia (read: in the millennia since the romanticization of the alliance), the Eldar have allowed small numbers of other species to live on Maiden Worlds, but only after they have been extensively settled and colonized by Eldar first. To the Eldar, the Maiden Worlds are Eldar worlds first and foremost, and members of other races are only allowed on them because the Eldar permit it. The Eldar never allow Maiden Worlds to be settled by other races first. The only “exception” to this is New Tanith, but that was more due to Prince Yriel than anything else. Officially, New Tanith was given to Prince Yriel on behalf of Biel-Tan as a gift, who then in turn gifted the planet to the refugees of Tanith, as was his right. Yriel was both Eldar and crazy enough that Biel-Tan recognized he would not back down. Anyone else would have been told to go screw themselves.

The Maiden Worlds themselves are typically allied with one of the Craftworlds, and these Craftworlds are typically the ones that speak for them when their voices need to be heard in the Imperium.

The Exodites are kind of like a combination between the Amish and Sakoku Japan. There is perhaps one major settlement on the planet that allows advanced technology, primarily as a spaceport to allow trade with the rest of the Imperium. The rest of the planet is explicitly low-tech.

In some cases the Eldar prefer human goods because although they are lower quality they are often cheaper and can be made more quickly. The Exodites take this a step further. Much like many simple living groups (e.g., Amish, Mennonites), the Exodites often prefer human goods because they are crappy, and thus force the Exodites to work harder for their living. In addition, trading for tools made offworld means that an Exodite does not have to break from their austere lifestyle to make the tools necessary for such a lifestyle to be possible, and can devote more of their time to work. The Exodites mostly trade for these goods with surplus food (what little they usually produce) and handmade goods. Any surplus food that cannot be used for trade or stored for hard times is generally donated to the war effort.

The Exodites are rather picky about who they allow on their worlds. If an outsider wants to visit the world and watch the dinosaur jousting and is willing to do so respectfully and without disrupting the Exodite way of life (read: no high tech), fine. If one of their Craftworld kin gets fed up with the rigidity of the Paths and wants to adopt the Exodite way of life, fine. If a human wants to do the same, they may allow it, though the Exodites are often skeptical of the ability of a human to tolerate an Exodite’s low tech lifestyle.

However, the Exodites do not tolerate anyone trying to industrialize their world and disrupt their way of life, whether it be a Craftworlder or a human. Those who try to do so are summarily booted off the planet at best. Trying to invoke the protection of the Imperium to protect you in these matters does not work, as Imperial representatives are quick to say that the Exodites are the ones who make the rules on their worlds, and if you break the laws you are on your own.

The Exodites of the Maiden Worlds are very different from the enclaves the Craftworlders set up, which are essentially normal Eldar dwellings with all of their technology on an uninhabited Maiden World rather than dinosaur-riding space Amish.

The relationship between the Craftworlds and the Exodites is kind of like that between the ancient Greek city-states and their far-flung colonies (e.g., Syracuse). Typically, one of the larger Craftworlds claims sovereignty over a Maiden World, and is expected to provide for their defense and represent them in Imperial politics. This is largely imperialism on the part of the Craftworlds. To be honest the Exodites like the idea of their Craftworlder cousins expressing sovereignty over them about as much as they would humans, but they aren’t foolish enough to look a gift horse in the mouth when they show up with military aid in their worst hour and the Craftworlds mostly avoid interfering. They can and will, however, go to another Craftworld and ask for their patronage if they feel their claiming Craftworld is being too overbearing. Most of the smaller craftworlds won’t mess with one of the big five, but Saim-Hann tends to be much more lax and is more than willing to politically tweak Biel-Tan or Alaitoc’s nose. They tend to not meddle with issues with the Maiden Worlds unless the native Exodite population asks them to.

During the Great Crusade, the eldar were very proactive in keeping the Imperium and humanity off the Maiden Worlds.Even Biel-Tan, who sees the current Imperium is the rebirth and continuation of the Old Eldar Empire, in fact they were some of the loudest about it. Biel-Tan was always interested in rebuilding the Empire and this was in the days before the formation of the alliance. In those days the Maiden Worlds were seen as the future of the eldar people. Of course, in this timeline they don’t jump straight to genocide, instead they either tended to call up the Imperium and go “these are your people, they’re your problem” or just round the human population up and dump them on the nearest human-populated world regardless of their wishes. Even today Biel-Tan, pre-Kraken Iyanden, and Alaitoc are still twitchy about the idea of significant human populations on Maiden Worlds. Although Biel-Tan sees the Imperium as the New Eldar Empire the Maiden Worlds were the life’s work of many of the eldar people and by their reckoning it would be unfair for any other species to profit from the fruits of their labor.

There are some planets with significant populations of coexisting humans and Exodites. Planets where either the native Exodite inhabitants either died out or significantly decreased in population and humans moved in, or human worlds where Exodites have planted wraithtrees after their own world was destroyed. Aghoru and the medieval world where Isha was nearly kidnapped by the Conservators are examples of the former. Rynn’s world is an example of the latter. There was a population of Bronze Age or Medieval-level Nocturne-descended humans on Caldera, who the Exodites freed during a counter-attack on a Dark Eldar raiding party and granted them asylum on the planet. The Nocturneans gratefully accepted and the two had been coexisting for centuries by the time the Great Crusade arrived. Both Biel-Tan and Vulkan called for the humans to be forcibly deported and resettled on Nocturne. The people who would actually be affected by this decision didn’t like it, the Exodites likewise felt that Biel-Tan was overriding their sovereignty and telling them what to do, whereas the humans on Caldera had lived there for so many generations that the planet was their home, Nocturne being but a distant memory, and they preferred to be on a planet that was not a tectonic time bomb. It has not been yet decided out-of-universe what happened to them. However, human-Exodite worlds are pretty rare.

The general stereotype among the non-eldar parts of the imperium is that the Maiden Worlds are an idyllic place to live, a place where food grows from the ground at a whim and the inhabitants want for nothing. This is not the case. It is true that the Maiden Worlds were engineered to be a paradise for eldar by the Old Eldar Empire, with plentiful food and resources, perfect climate, no diseases, etc. However, properly Shaadomeiforming a world requires a lot of subtle tweaking and constant maintenance and the last time anyone checked to make sure these systems were maintained was thousands of years ago. Since the Fall, many of the climate and environmental systems intended to turn the Maiden Worlds into paradises have broken down. The Maiden Worlds were also intended to be settled by Eldar using Old Empire technology, with ‘modern’ medicine, agriculture, infrastructure, etc.

No one expected a bunch of crazy Luddites to settle there and start raising the dinosaurs, especially given the forefathers of the Exodites deliberately picked the worlds that were half-finished and harshest to live on. This was done both because [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Asurmen|it was the last place any roving raiders from the Old Empire would look for them]] and because they wanted their descendants to have to work to make a living to keep from falling into decadence. Starvation and want are not unknown on Exodite Worlds, and birthrates have to be maintained carefully to prevent overpopulation. Violent disputes between clans are not uncommon, though in general they are willing to resolve differences between ceremonial combat between dragon riders (which nevertheless can still result in death) than all-out warfare. In addition to seeing the Craftworlders as decadent and insufficiently distancing themselves from their old ways, Exodites [[Wood Elves (Warhammer)|also often see their Craftworld kin as soft and weak compared to them]].

== Feral/Feudal Worlds ==

When the Imperium discovers a feral or feudal world, they often like to uplift it as much as possible before they actually start recruiting from it. Even though a lasgun might be so simple an idiot can use it, the Imperium still likes it when the people holding know enough to know which end is the killy bit.

Of course, given the state of the galaxy in M41, standards have started to slip a bit and the Imperium has become more desperate for manpower.

As a result you get, for lack of a better term, Ascended Feral Worlds. Worlds that know about the galaxy beyond their door, but aren't super interested in giving up their way of life. As a modern example, think of the tribes in the Amazon or some parts of Africa today who are still living in the same ways their great-grandparents, the only difference being that they are wearing t-shirts, and carrying steel knives and electric lanterns instead of loincloths, stone tools, and torches.

Not that they would tame the world, as such. Cretacia, for example, will always be a dinosaur infested shit heap, but the people are living rather than merely surviving. The Flesh Tearers are still brutal as fuck front-line high-speed meat grinders but they don't eat people. Blood rituals, but not actually gnawing the flesh from human bones.
It's all about lifting up from the muck rather than letting thousands wallow because "muh super stronk child soldiers" that Vanilla operates on. There are plenty of worlds that are just "ooga booga, where da magiks at" short of just devolving back to nomadic society. The difference between vanilla and the AU is that the culture developed on these planets changed from "gas the Xenos, race wars now!" to "we must unite to kill anything threating" during the Great Crusade. Oscar specifically didn't want to see a civilization like Ursh developing in his Imperium. There is still fear of the unknown in these Death and Feudal worlds but nowhere near to the extent as in vanilla. Things considered barbaric are outlawed or at least regulated such as sanctioned ritualistic combat as opposed to pit fighting to the death or only using animal sacrifices.

Their standard of living is raised, and they aren't savages, but they aren't interested in building hives or "going soft". Some are enticed by the bright lights of the greater galaxy and leave, but for others it would be too much culture shock.

Only Kreig post-apocalypse kills any unauthorized xenos on sight. But that’s more because it’s Krieg than anything else.

==Technology==

===Banned Technology===

Although the technological level of the Imperium circa M41 is closer to 30k than canon 40k, there are still some technologies that are not used, not because they are lost but because their use is outright banned. [[Arco-flagellant]]s and [[Penitent Engine]]s are two of these, the Steward took one look at the design (which may have even come from Ursh or some place similar) and went "[[Meme|into the trash it goes]]". The Steward didn't see them as serving much of purpose other than perpetuating [[Dark Eldar|sadism]], and for the very worst crimes that were too severe for incarceration yet not bad enough to merit a summary [[Blam|BLAM]]-ing the existential fear of servitorization set enough of an example. [[Thallax|Thallaxi]], on the other hand, are still used, though the AdMech use methods that ensure a higher standard of life (slightly, less perpetual agony and more [[Wraithguard]]) and only take volunteers especially since [[drider|turning themselves into more machine than man is exactly what most tech-priests and Skitarii dream of]]. If they didn't survive the procedure then they obviously had insufficient faith in the Omnissiah.

The Imperium also doesn’t use [[Exterminatus#Virus_Bomb|virus bomb]]s anymore. Or at least they did, up until they rescued Isha and she was able to give a [[/d/|graphic description]] of exactly what happened to Nurgle every time a virus bomb was detonated in realspace. Having just run through the personal demesne of that particular being, the Imperium were't exactly thrilled about the idea of making the owner of that fetid hellscape even stronger every time they used a virus bomb.

==Relations of Minor Xenos Races==

The arrangement between the two dominant races of the Imperium and the minor xenos races is kind of like that between the Council and non-Council races in Mass Effect. Like the Council, the two dominant races make most of the decisions, and the others often get the hose. Is this fair? Who can say. It's one of the grayer areas of this Imperium's morality. The Imperium is often a human and Eldar show because 98% of the population is human and Eldar and so the Imperium's decisions are primarily going to affect those people. At the same time, the Imperium doesn't butt into the business of the minor races unless they're stirring up trouble, so it's not like they're dictating things to other races.

As was mentioned in a previous thread (I think), this is one of the reasons the Tau seem so ambitious. They know that they're third in line in terms of population, and they know if things go good for the Tau and bad for the humans and Eldar there might be three races making all the decisions, rather than two.

The population thing about Eldar versus Tau is actually based on canon. According to what I can find, Tau are at best in the hundreds of billions. Craftworld and Exodite Eldar together are at least a few trillion. Despite being a dying race in canon, there are surprisingly a lot of Eldar in the galaxy. Even with the Tau empire being larger than in canon (it's about the size of Ultramar) and the Eldar not dying so much, the Eldar still massively outnumber the Tau.

This doesn’t even get into humans, which are so numerous that the Administratum in both timelines just plain gave up trying. There are some species of abhumans that are more numerous than many minor xenos races.

==The Navigators==

With the possible extension in Navigator elder sanity, the relatively more tolerant attitude towards physical deviation, moving shop to the Jovian Orbitals and AdBio attention it could be seen that elder navigators remain active for longer.

The mutations generally result in them looking like a cross between a Stage 2 Guild Navigator from Dune (possibly depicted by H.R. Giger) and a citizen of Innsmouth when the fish genes start to kick in but at least the mutations are more stable now and can be managed. No more constant crippling agony due to body changing shape unstably and no more brain functioning erratically.

Down side is that there is still no cure. The more inbred Navigators also have it worse on the mutations, hence the constant drive to keep getting new blood in to the houses even if it does take the female navigators out of action for the duration of the pregnancy and takes a minimum of 4 generations to produce anything useful.

The high nobility of the Imperium could be quite used to seeing navigator elders on state business, or at least not freak out too hard about their weirdness. Xeno citizens would either just assume that they are human in the same way that the Nova Beastmen are human (because humans are weird) or just assume that they are another type of xeno the Imperium met before them. Either way the Imperium is full of weird, this is not unexpected for them.

Life span for Navigators should be longer than a baseline human. Baring illness or injury possibly as high as 400 years. With rejuvenant drugs and shit this can be extended to 750 years, or the same as the upper limit on baseline humans. Should be higher but the treatments were made for baseliners and the Navigators are weird on ever scale of their biology so they tend not to be too compatible with that shit.

The rejuvenant drugs don't actually do anything to slow down or prevent the onset of the mutations as the mutations are not a sign of aging. If anything it allows an individual longer to live so that they can become more inhuman.

It's also worth noting that there is a school of thought in the AdBio that their inherent longevity is a direct result of the mutations and that outward signs of aging mostly only resemble getting old at an aesthetic level. Nevigators don't in fact get old, they just get more navigatory.

Presumably if one lived to be an estimated 1,200 year old they would have reached the 100% mutation mark, no longer have any human remnants in their biology and would be an entirely new species. Sadly only the medical knowledge of the Dark Age would be enough to get them to last that long.

They also tend to reject cybernetics. All attempts to find a way around this have failed.

Examination of the genes found exclusively in Navigator has proved confusing. They are mostly human, hence the ability to interbreed. A few of the genes are 100% artificial and found only in one other organism (Emperor Oscar) and some of the more odd genes seem to have been grafted from an as of yet undiscovered xeno organism.

The xeno genes also seem to spread in a manner not compliant with normal biology. If left to their own devices in laboratory conditions they subsume and transform the rest of the DNA in whatever cell they are in. They do not change it into copies of themselves but into what is presumably the rest of the code from the species they were extracted from. This is conventionally impossible, but there it is.

Attempts to cultivate and grow the cell samples into a viable organism have thus far failed.

Suggestion of introducing the fully mutated sample into a living Navigator to create a "pure" navigator without any human have been rejected by unanimous vote of the House Elders. Possibly they know what the creature would be or they may have some other reason. Possibly they just don't want to break the exclusivity on their bloodlines.

It is possible, even probable, that the Navigators would gradually become these strange xenos if they lived long enough. Although the nature of these xenos is unknown besides having an extremely close connection to the warp and possibly being aquatic or having originally evolved in an at least semi-aquatic environment. Nemensor Zandrek once remarked that Navigators seemed familiar to him but he couldn't remember why. They made him feel slightly angry, but not at them, but he couldn't remember who. It's quite vexing say what..

== Religion ==
The Imperium is officially secular, providing a limited freedom of religion, as long as you don't worship Chaos or Oscar.
Known Sector Relevant Religions:
*Katholian Church - basically Catholicism with the Emperor seen as some sort of saint. Good old Olly Pious and Lorgar were members back in the day. Terrain branch and off-world branches reunited by Word Bearers. Implied to be a far-flung descendant of an Abrahamic religion that changed over the centuries due to exchange of ideas with other creeds like Zoroastrianism or Buddhism to the point it is barely recognizable. Had a nasty sister branch, Kartharanism, which was formerly the state religion of the Yndonesian Bloc and had thing for omens and believed that only through suffering (whether self-inflicted or otherwise) was any worth found in the world. One of the primarch Lorgar’s biggest accomplishments was the writing of the ''Lectatio Divinitatus'', which reunified the two branches into a single whole.
*Promethian Creed - An old faith predating the Unification but united into a cohesive whole by Vulkan. They view the Emperor as a perfect human but still human and therefore flawed. Strong focus on community strength.
*Fenris Paganism - A loose collection of polytheistic tribal faiths. Each tribe has a slightly different pantheon but most have some sort of overlap. Ulfrik the Slayer is the nominal head of the religion.
*Yechudism - Presumably pseudo-Jewish, and somehow related to the Katholian faith
*Eldar - Let's work on that
*Cults of Oscar - Working on them (Sangy Guardsman)
*Omnissiah* - Y'ALL WORSHIPPIN' THE VOID DRAGON NOW (ahem)
*"Death Cults"/Religio Mortem* -
*Tanith Small Gods* -
*Catachan gods of blood and wood* - A bunch of nutters with their old deep forest gods. Every god is an asshole who kills you with various flora and fauna if you fuck up or offend them. According to the Catachans, it's really easy to do so. Catachans worship them by going to church once a week and just fucking screaming at the alters cursing them out.
*Armageddon Outrider Ancestor Worship - Have some kind of ancestor worship setup where they demand that their ancestors "witness them" before performing some deed worthy of mention.
*Cadia - A variety of beliefs are practiced on Cadia, but the most common is a predominantly maltheist and misotheist belief derived from Old Cadian customs. Believe the gods exist, how could you not on Cadia, but that it is every man, woman, and child’s duty to do the exact opposite of what they want and give the finger to them. Interestingly they don't believe Isha is a god because she's 1) in realspace, 2) looks mortal, and 3) not actively malicious. It's worth noting that Old Cadian uses the same word for "god" and "daemon", the closest distinction being made is "god" sometimes more literally translated as "big daemon".
*Prosperine Hermeticism* - Dominant religion on Prospero and by extension the descendants of the Prosperine refugees on Old Earth. Has a big focus on syncreticism and learning all the things. Divided up into several "schools" which despite differing often radically in their philosophies all consider each other sects of the same religion, a worldview that drives outsiders batty. According to legend, the religion started during the Age of Strife when the greatest sages on Prospero met to try and understand the meaning of the universe. Pooling their powers to try to see the fabric of reality, they were all struck with a vision, though no two people saw the same thing. Each founded their own school based around this (think Ancient Greek "air is the center of the universe", "no water is" and so on) hence their worldview of the different schools as sects of the same religion. Though the Prosperans were usually pretty careful about not delving too deep into some stuff (if the Warp was the Great Ocean, it was certainly one full of sharks), the fact that they tended to pick up traditions from other worlds led people to worry about Prosperine Hermeticism as a gateway for Tzeentch, and in a few cases Tzeentch did get in.
*Classical Ancestor Worship*
*Murphyism - Worshippers of the concept of Murphy's Law via an imperfect interpretation of historical documents leading to the view of Murphy being a metaphorical personification of the phenomenon of "everything goes sideways sometimes" rather than a general observation. Believe Murphyism got a huge boost in popularity after [[Nobledark_Imperium_Writing#The_Month_of_Murphy|Cegorach admitted that the power of Murphy's Law probably exceeds even himself or the Chaos Gods (though he considers Murphy's Law to be a universal concept rather than an actual being), and "Murphy" made an absolute fool out of the Emperor]].
Innumerable other Faiths are practiced from world to world

=== Yechudism ===
(WIP. Author notes in parentheses)
Yechudism is a cousin to the Katholian Faith, in that they pull from the same initial source: The Prophet of The Book, who produced a divinely-inspired text concerning the place of man in God’s Universe, called the Codices of Duality, in about 798.M26 during the Age of Strife. The difference is that the ancient Yechudites merged it with their native beliefs, while the Katholians replaced theirs entirely with the Codices. (note: the Codices of Duality is not, unlike the Bible/Torah or even the Kojiki, a mytho-historical legitimization text. It is more like a body of laws with a mythological reward/punishment section)

Yechudism is a multi-worship, dualistic, ritualistic faith. Beginning with Quolious (The sacred name permitted to mortal mouths), their deity of goodness and creation, who is forever locked in a battle to maintain universal purity with the Great Adversary, whose name is forbidden; it then fuses ancestor guidance with animism in an almost non-existent religious hierarchy. (Basically a Zoroastrianism basis mixed with Shinto beliefs and Jewish leadership)

The religious leaders are the Rabuni (singular Rabun), who are common to both faiths as sacred scholars. However, the Katholians place them to the side of the religious hierarchy, putting in place a complex structure of priests, cardinals, bishops, various other titles, and the Church Father (space pope!). To the Yechudim, above the Rabuni is only Quolious, and the Rabun is equal to the common person in the eyes of Quolious.

To live in the Yechudite faith is to live in ritual. There are prayers for everything, an attempt to bind your action to furthering Quolious’ Great Plan. Many of the rituals are shared with the Katholians, but their context is not: The Katholians allow only a few rituals to be performed by the individual, with the rest requiring the guidance of a priest in a sacred space. A Yechudite can perform any ritual he wishes, as he is considered to carry sacred space with him. Only a few require more than the individual, and the requirement is to simply have a group of ten adults of the faith participate.

Quolious does not provide guidance: They are too busy dealing with big stuff for that. For help, a Yechudite turns to his Ancestors, the Sacred Ancestors, and the Spirits. His Ancestors are just that: his line of ancestors who were of the faith, lending advice and aid to his efforts. The Sacred Ancestors are considered the Ancestors of every person of the faith; these are people who became shining paragons of what the faithful can be. The Spirits live in every object, being the spiritual form of reality, and are less worshipped and more bartered with in a very ritualistic fashion. The Rabuni can dispense with formality, part of their training involving learning to speak with them (can they? Can they not? Who knows?), and it is from these interactions that the rituals for dealing with spirits are derived.

===Eldar Polytheism===

Overall, Eldar polytheism is rather similar to ancient Greek polytheism, where you have a core group of more powerful immortals and then a wider group of less powerful gods. However, one major difference is that in Eldar polytheism you have one god, Asuryan, who is superior to all gods rather than merely the most powerful among the older generation (as shown by his ability to make a decree and actually make it stick). Another major difference is the gods don't seem to be organized by generation, where you have an older generation of more powerful immortals (Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Demeter), who represent more primordial concepts and a younger, "closer to mortals" generation that represent more human concepts (Athena, Hephaestus, Ares). Eldar polytheisms Big Three were Isha, Kurnous, and Khaine, whereas Lileath, Morai-Heg, Vaul, and the like filled out the pantheon. Morai-Heg was definitely among the older gods (being Isha's mother), whereas Isha, Kurnous and Khaine are in many ways associated with more mortal concepts (The Mother, The Hunter, The Warrior).

Isha and Morai-Heg are both earth deities, but in different ways. Isha represents fertility, family, healing/heath, plantlife, and the harvest (i.e., the stuff on top of the earth), whereas Morai-Heg is a more [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chthonic| chthonic] earth deity that represents the earth itself (often being associated with Shaa-Dome itself). Lileath is typically associated with the moons (both moons in general and the white moon of Shaa-Dome that is named after her).

There is significant debate as to where Cegorach fits into this paradigm. Some say he is the fourth member of the Mother, Hunter, Murderer trio but at the same time is more powerful and influential than the other lesser gods but still not operating on the same level as the other 3. Other say that as a trickster deity Cegorach is by nature a liminal being and therefore outside the traditional pantheon structure. When asked directly by eldar in more Cegorach gave the straightforward and yet completely unhelpful answer. "I'm the Cosmic Jester that runs an interdimensional carnival and my followers are ninja clowns. I defy sensible classification".

Eldar polytheism is, as one might expect, mostly an eldar thing, though it exists in a minority form among human populations on many worlds and is actually a majority religion among humans on places like [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Colchis|Colchis]].

'''Isha Worship'''

Like Ishtar, Isha priestesses are known to engage in [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/sacred_prostitution| sacred prostitution], and *ahem* ''[[PROMOTIONS|motivational]]'' pictures of Isha exist, despite the eldar normally frowning on such things. This causes most humans no end of confusion, though to eldar the difference is perfectly clear. Pictures of Isha and those blessed by Isha aren't bawdy, they're religious art displaying the miracles of the goddess and her power. It just so happens that Isha's realm is that of fertility. Most non-eldar just chalk it up to a weird xenos thing.

Vulkan (who along with Magnus spent the most time with the Steward out of any of the primarchs due to living several millenia) really didn't like Isha because of this, because he saw it as an affront to the Promethean Creed and traditional family values. The fact that Isha was the goddess of motherhood and family as well as fertility was quietly glossed over, because the more weird and unusual aspects of Isha worship were what was more immediately obvious (kind of like how Romans saw early Christians as cannibals). Vulkan habitually referred to the Disciples of Isha as Temple Whores and Isha as Queen of the Whores although he stopped that after Oscar had a quiet word with him. When Vulkan's opinion on the eldar changed from "the Eldar can go to hell" to "well-meaning, but insensitive and racist", Vulkan tried to encourage Isha to play up the "matron" side of her portfolio and downplay the "fertility", ignoring the fact that doing so would be like asking her to suppress a part of her.

Isha priest/priestesses perform several important duties in Eldar society. Their role in sacred prostitution is one of the factors resulting in the glacial increase in the Imperial eldar population, and they tend to have multiple births in an even higher ratio than the average eldar. They sometimes act as healers in cases where normal healing isn't good enough. They are also the only ones other than Isha herself who can synthesize new soul stones, which means no more costly and dangerous expeditions to the ruins of the Old Empire(which in this universe have very pissed off inhabitants).

=== Baalite Wheel Faith ===

The Blood Angels and the majority faith for the people of Baal is that there is a wheel of fate and that the world goes in cycles of birth and death and rebirth. Everything is bound to this cycle, the cycle continues.

Gods are as bound to the cycle as mortals, possibly more so. There is no way off of Mr Bone's Wild Ride. Your only hope is to make it to either selfishly cut all ties to everything so you can become light of soul enough to get to the middle where shit is less animate and the lack of reaction causes you to achieve a state of Nirvāṇa because nothing is bothering you.

The other way of doing things correctly is the selfless giving of your time, effort and life to making the eternal journey on the wheel less awful. The result is a better world than there should have been for the next time around.

Souls are endlessly recycled but the indifference or cruelty of the wheel strips away all things from one life as it enters the next so unless you are selfless and leave something behind to make it less shit the journey is harder and unless you record your wisdom increases in ignorance.

By good works and the preservation of knowledge the cycle is made bearable.

It is theoretically possible to remain in Nirvāṇa indefinitely if you cut every single tie to life before the moment of death and made it to the total stillness of the absolute centre of the wheel. Sadly the exact centre is by definition a single point so can only have one occupant and it is held by Death. He is not moving. He is eternal, the one constant, the ur-god.

To the Blood Angels there is not Heaven, there is not Hell, there is no Judgement after death, there is just the Wheel upon which we are all imprisoned seemingly eternally. There is, therefore, ultimate incentive to make the imprisonment as good as possible.

They follow the teachings of their ancient masters in the knowledge that somewhere out there they have been born again in ignorance. By the propagation of their teachings and the imparting of recorded wisdom they can be brought out of their ignorance again.

They do not see Saint Celestine as special merely because she is a possible reincarnation of Sanguinius. There have undoubtedly been thousands of reincarnations of good ol' Sangy down the ages. They consider her special because of the wings, they are a clear and unmistakable omen that shit is going to get real in her lifetime because the last time Sangy's soul wore wings was the founding of the Imperium.

They acknowledge that the other gods of the other faiths in the Imperium are probably real, not that this makes them special and any god claiming to be all knowing is, in their eyes, either a liar or stupid.

To the people of Baal the gods of Chaos are indeed gods. They are also abominations that are going against their purpose on the Wheel and as such need to die. And yes, gods can die, only Death reigns eternal.

Ynnead they don't know of, not yet. They would consider that it is either an aspect of the ur-god reflected in the minds of mortals like an image in a gently moving stream or they would consider it to be a god taking the image of Death. They would not take offense as imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Nightbringer they do know. Given Mephiston alone how could they not? There's imitation and then there's a sick fucking mockery. Nightbringer is a stain upon the galaxy trying to imitate something it doesn't understand to justify atrocities.

In any case Nightbringer, Ynnead and Impossible Child would not to them be the ur-god made flesh. The ur-god is already made manifest, you're standing in it.

They see Emperor Oscar as exactly what he is in that he is an artificial construct of the Dark Age. They also see him as a very enlightened heathen. Some of them think he is a god, some do not. Those that do are spared the Emperor's ire as to the Baalites the difference between gods and plebs is not so great.

=== Ultramarian Polytheism ===

Despite being mostly Greco-Roman inspired, the Ultramarian pantheon looks more like Hellenized Egyptian polytheism than anything else. Though the gods are often depicted as wearing togas. The chief deity in Ultramarian polytheism is Hera, goddess of the sun, life, light, law, and order. Given that the denizens of Ultramar are a space-faring society her position as defender of the sun is often depicted in a figurative light, the sun representing the light of civilization around which society is nurtured. She is often associated with lionesses, or depicted with the head of a lioness. Other times she is depicted as blindfolded to represent that justice is impartial and holding a set of scales in one hand and a sword in the other as justice means nothing if people aren't willing to enforce it. The other deities in the Ultramar Pantheon are subservient to her and usually her offspring because it is only from this light and the willingness to protect this light and warmth that the very basics of humanity, not a a civilization, but as a functioning species can arise. She is worshiped extensively by the PDFs and the IG Regiments raised in Ultramar, they do not typically pray for her to protect them but that they might protect others. Basically Ma'at meets Ra with a dash of Sekhmet.

Thanatus is another deity worshiped, if worshiped is the word. Some of the more fringe worlds might raise a regiment or two into which they can dump them as a containment measure. They are, the ones that are born on the ground, Ultramar's local branch of the Religio Mortis usually referred to as Morites. They do enlist to protect. They are typically those who have lost too much to want to stay and now pray that they can get even. They demand the chance to honour their Pale Lord, to be his hands in this world and take some fucker out before he claims them. Often depicted as like a spider sitting at the heart of a galactic web. He is also worshiped by the Void Born of the Eastern Fringe as one of their tribal gods. They do not share their traditions with outsiders

== Imperial Holidays ==

In general, there aren't a lot of holidays that are practiced universally across the Imperium, generally because what might be considered significant to one group of people may not be to another. Sanguinalia is the only holiday that is pretty much consistently practiced across the Imperium, and is seen as a period of remembrance for those lost in the War of the Beast and good will towards all. Even then it is a primarily human holiday.

Another celebration that is practiced across much of the Imperium is a celebration in honor of the memory of Hoec. Hoec was the god of messengers, travelers, and the Webway, as in the past it was often customary for messengers travelling between outposts to be given food and drinks (usually alcoholic) by the host as part of sacred hospitality (especially pre-War in Heaven). Today the celebration is performed once a Craftworld year in memory of Hoec and the other deceased Eldar gods and resembles a cross between St. Patrick’s day and a New Orleans funeral (complete with the eldar equivalent of bagpipes). It’s a celebration for which the paths system is relaxed for just one day (which not coincidentally helps prevent people from getting pathlost). Other races like to join in for the free alcohol, though humans generally stay away from the eldar stuff since humans can’t digest most of the plants Eldar use to make alcohol.

== Psykers and How the Imperium Treats Them ==

The Rhetor Imperia didn't mean to build an army. They were teachers, after all. But, as the saying goes, spare the rod, get killed and eaten by daemons spilling forth from the mind of the child...

The threat of Chaos is still there, and still insidious. For those poor souls 'gifted' with psionic powers, a moment's carelessness could lead to their very soul being torn asunder, and their very flesh rendered into a portal for daemons to slip into the materium to sow terror. The only reprieve is that it is rare for psykers to manifest their abilities before the onset of puberty (But it is still horrifyingly possible for prodigies to manifest earlier). Because this is the Nobledark Imperium, generally speaking lynch mobs and witch hunts are frowned upon. Not that that doesn't happen, but it doesn't have state sponsorship. The Emperor generally prefers murder as a last resort, and done with a degree of professionalism.

Instead, the issue of psykers is approached more humanely, with agents attempting to identify potentials as young as possible to minimize their chances of causing damage to the Imperium. The approach to this problem was two fold- first, corral all possible problem children into facilities for inspection and safe sequestration until the black ships arise, and secondly, educate the populace (Responsibly) about these dangers, and what to do in case such happens.

In the name of efficiency, these two functions have been combined into one institution. From birth, all children of the Imperium are supposed to be offered a place in the Schola Vulgus to better themselves and learn proper moral values and skills to serve the Imperium better. The courses range from basic arithmetic to diagnosing warp corruption, from samples of Imperial literature to learning Xenos languages.

Black Ships are less hellish. They perform a service to the Imperium and everyone knows it. With the population knowledgeable about the basics of Chaos and the hazards of the Warp few if any psykers resist invitation to the Black Ships. They know that they are going to Earth to be made safe one way or the other and there is little to fear.

Because there is still a mass immigration/pilgrimage of Psykers to Old Earth the rejects who decide to stay and their descendants have started to build up somewhat in the population. Psychic talent and training is one of Old Earth's exports. Was 2nd to Prospero before the 4th Black Crusade and Rubric of Ahriman. Much of Prospero's psychic population ended up on Old Earth because they wanted to be among their own kind.

Some of the Craftworlds and planet dwelling Eldar Enclaves also offer basic making your shit safe training as it is in their interest to do so.

Psyker-heavy worlds like Old Earth and (formerly) Prospero also have dampening crystals that help young, uncontrolled psykers calm their minds and learn to control their powers without exploding into daemons. Problem is the crystals have to be made by growing them in a low-intensity psychic field over a period of several years (nearly 30 if you want a good one), and so are only really used on worlds that have a significant proportion of psykers. On top of that, the good crystals are the about the size of a large statue or a small building, so they're not really portable and the Imperium can't just stick one on every psyker and be done with it.

== Treatment of Mutants ==

Despite the overall change in tone, mutants are still treated relatively poorly in the Imperium. Like the condonement of certain forms of slavery, treatment of mutants is another big area of intentional values dissonance between the Imperium and modern society. The Imperium frequently commits infanticide on those who are born with mutations on a scale hitherto unheard of in human history, reasoning that it is better to put them out of their misery now and spare them a life of suffering. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Celestine|Celestine]] only survived because Ophelia VII was fanatic enough about their reputation to check, the implication being that other children with active Sanguinius genes may have existed throughout the centuries but got killed as infants because people assumed they were run of the mill mutants. Even then, Celestine’s parents kept her isolated for most of her childhood on their farm in the middle of nowhere because they were afraid of repercussions.

At the same time, the general opinion of your average Imperial citizen to mutation is more along the lines of “those poor bastards” rather than “purge the unclean”. Due to the extremely high rate of infanticide, the most common sources of mutation in the Imperium are 1) former Guardsmen and PDF who were exposed to Warp energy and other gribbly phenomena, 2) people exposed to various mutagens in places like the underhives, and 3) Chaos cultists who have received boons from their gods. As a result, many people tend to view mutants with suspicion, seeing them like a Yakuza member who is trying to gain sympathy by passing off their missing ring finger as a workplace accident. The Navigators still keep the nature of their change on the down-low because although they are actually abhumans they are paranoid that people will consider increasing changes throughout lifespan + warp exposure = mutant.

Additionally, even though the Imperium takes pains to make sure that the idea of "normal genetic variation is completely okay, abhumans are not mutants, alteration through genetic engineering is not mutation)" is made perfectly clear to everyone across the Imperium, there are many backwater, superstitious worlds where the idea of baseline humans that look different from the average population, much less [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Carlos_McConnell|cat-people]] or tech-priests or Astartes or squats or Void Born, is still a shocking concept. People from one Segmentum may have never heard of an abhuman breed from the other side of the galaxy and on these worlds abhumans, let alone xenos, run the risk of being labelled mutant by the sheltered populace. Ironically, this concern is not totally misplaced, there have been cases where semi-stable Chaos cults have passed themselves off as abhumans by claiming they belong to an abhuman species from the other side of the galaxy. A secondary job of Ordo Mutatio in addition to providing oversight of the notoriously spacey Adeptus Biologicus is to act as an external authority invalidating claims of Chaos worship-induced mutation before some yokels end up burning innocent people at a stake.

There are even cases where certain mutant-phobic worlds servitorize their entire mutant population by labeling them as mentally invalid, even if they are physically and mentally capable of living their own life, [[bullshit|“for their own good”]], of course.

== Path of the Enforcer/Judge ==

The Eldar on the Path of the Enforcer/Path of the Judge are the intepreters and enforcers of law in Eldar society. A lot of the Eldar on this path tend to be individuals that have spent time both on the Path of Awakening and the Path of the Warrior. Due to the semi-monastic nature of Craftworld society and the fact that Eldar seem to have a communal idea of law, individuals on the Path of the Enforcer/Judge are much less common than one would expect based on human society. This path probably always existed to solve legalistic disputes within and between Craftworlds, but became much more important when the Eldar joined the Imperium.

The Path of the Judge probably exists in vanilla 40k, given that there are records of Eldar outlaws and law-breakers, but is probably not very important, since the punishment for most crimes in Eldar society is simple banishment. Here, the Path of the Judge serves a much more important purpose, since the Eldar engage in many more interactions with other species and simply cannot let their criminals roam free in the galaxy anymore. To the Eldar, you cannot let criminals loose anymore, because those stars are no longer mon-keigh stars. They are your stars. When the Eldar started negotiating with the wider Imperium, the Eldar considered these philosophers of law crucial to make sure the Eldar got the best end of the deal possible. Basically think of 2000 year old lawyers that literally know every loophole and trick in the book.

There are two main schools or aspects, for lack of a better word, in this path. One is for the people who actually enforce the laws and their day-to-day application. Few Eldar get lost on this aspect of the path, but those who do tend to end up like a cross between Elrond (or is that a Noldor) and Judge Dredd. The other is the more philosophical study of the nature of law and morality itself. One might refer to them as "Eldar lawyers" or "law-seers", but they're closer to ancient Greek legal philosophers than anything else. Most Enforcers who get too old to serve or are veering from the path tend to end up here.

== The Feast of Blades ==

In response to Luther subverting the majority of his legion during the War of the Beast, Lion El’Jonson divided the remaining Dark Angels into small orders and scattered them across the galaxy, so that one person could never have so much power over the entire legion. However, he wanted the Dark Angels to know he still cared about them, so he set up an event (the Feast of Blades) based on the knightly tournaments of Franj to reinforce the ties of brotherhood between Dark Angel chapters. Also it was made a more open event back in late M33. The Dark Angels are all about transparency and some of the more radical/puritan/arseholeish Inquisitors were suspecting them of some sort of Khornate ritual. Now other chapters outside of the Dark Angels progeny are invited to spectate and take part. The Feast of Blades is also a spectacle for the common folk, being one part knightly tournament, one part training exercise, one part Olympic games. It has television crews broadcasting it across whatever system it is being housed on live but for light speed delays to the general populace and recordings of the proceedings made and shipped on disc across the Imperium. There's even someone selling hotdogs. <s>It's Cypher.</s>

==Secret Societies==
To clarify what we've seemed to decide about the Imperial spy apparatus, The Alpha and Omega legions are the next level of fuckery up from the Inquisition and Astra Militarum, which includes the intrigues of Void Admirals and most Chapter Masters and such. These organizations all answer to the High lords. The top level of those organizations conspire as the Illuminate to eventually do something or other about Cthonia and the dear Cthonian, with much variety of aim.

The various Illuminati occasionally conflict with the Alpha Legion (ON the very-classified-record Imperial secret service/intelligence/black-ops) and Omega Legion (strictly OFF all records secret police/nominal-renegade/blacksite elements), but most of the time they work well together in mutual execution of their duties. The Alpha and Omega only answer to certain High Lords, and all to the Imperial Family, Oscar and Isha. They are much like the Custodes, but bound to the Emperor, not Oscar himself. The only real conflict between the Alpha & Omega and the Illuminate Order (and the Ordos they hold high station in) comes when some Illuminati gets some stupid idea and tries something dangerous or treasonous, or in more bureaucratic struggles between what the Illminate might like to do with Cthonia and what the Hydra is already doing there. The Hydra is to the Alpha, Omega, Favored Chapter Masters and Others, Custodes, and the Emperor and Empress' close courtiers what the Illuminate Order is to the great institutions of the Imperium. The Hydra is the influential circle that could be very well said to rule the galaxy in the Emperor's company, and very little is known as to its true membership even to the Illuminate.

The Illuminate Order is mostly Imperium, with strong representation from the Inquisition, who float the best crackpot long term plans, and the Administratum, who float the most insane ideas for technocratic reform, a small faction of Naval and Military officers that mostly partake to keep the other factions in check, an Eldar Farseer faction of similar size with similar goals, a handful of unaligned powerful galactic Statesman and Rogue Traders, and assorted blocs of Shola Psychana theorists. The Mechanicus also makes a significant faction in the Illuminate Order, and tends to have the most politically disruptive agendas in regard to Cthonia, Oscar, and Men of Gold in general. Broad goals of the Illuminati are the reclamation of Chthonia, understanding the fate of the Great and Bountiful Human Dominion, and understand the full power and fate of the Men of Gold. To these ends they use their personal influence and power to research and advance these projects within their respective organizations and in joint efforts.

The Hydra can be assumed to include the Emperor in its ranks, as when he was Steward, and likewise might include his venerable wife, and the old wizard Eldrad. Likewise the Illuminate Order assumes there is within this circle some agent of the Alpha, maybe another for the Omega, and a representative of the Custodes, at least one High Lord, and so on. There are signs of The Hydra during Earth's Unification, and in Terrawatt going back into Old Night. There are hints of The Hydra in parts of the broken Circlet, never before explored.

Lesser members of the Illuminate may not even be sure of the Omega Legion's existence, setting forward operating bases in The Eye and setting Fallen and Crone against each other.

To those same naive Illuminati "the Hydra" is often correctly guessed to also be a byword for machinations still above them, foremost being the Alpha Legion. The most learned and well connected of the Illuminate Order, those blessed by the Emperor's humoring fondness, have barely an inkling what The Hydra truly is, thinking it a conspiracy rather than a semi-immortal state.

It is known to have operated heavily on the Cthonian Circlet since the Great Hunt, apparently vacated the system during the reign of Emperor Vandire and only returned after the civil war. Since then various activity in the unmappable vastness of the broken ring has been attributed to "The Hydra" following the highest level of inquiry, and the few resources tracked into these depths are of incredible interest. Though rumors of Iron Minds being brought back to functionality and into order, Men of Gold returned from an extragalactic voyage bearing gifts and asking quarter, Methodology for the manufacture of true Godhead for the Emperor, and many more tales abound, others are more reasonable. The research of Man of Gold physiology and production, possibly their potential for natural reproduction, experiments on webway tunneling to once again tie the Dominion to its Capital, or even the resumption of Neutronium production to fully mend the Capital itself, even immortality research, are far likelier to be the secrets hidden by the hydra, and are in much closer keeping with Oscar's known aims.

The Hydra is the big secret project of the Imperial Court, akin to the Dragon for the Mechanicus. The Guardians of the Dragon might have to smack down nosy Illuminati, most often from their own faction, but that's cause they're the parallel route to chasing the Hydra. The Illuminate Order is where all the powerful and informed, but not top tier, congregate to pick at the secrets they've found, and bother the Imperial Court as much as the High Mechanicus. They Hydra and the Guardian's of the Dragon both know the other has a secret, they might even peek, but they mostly look the other way.

==Ansible Twins==

Ansible Twins are the fastest method of communication in the Imperium. Faster and more reliable than the average Astropath, faster than Navis Nobilite post boats, faster than Eldar webway runners. The problem is the requirements: twin psykers, born within a short timeframe of one another, with exactly identical psychic potential and barely any neurological differences, that are strong enough to survive being soulbound at the same time. Psyker twins often have some sort of strange connection (think Alpharius and Omegon in canon, or Eldar wraithlords) and in Ansible Twins this is basically taken up to eleven. Ansible twins are extremely rare: in a galaxy with quadrillions of humans, you might find one or two every decade. As a result, the Imperium tends to restrict them to extremely important communication links and infighting over them is always fierce.

The original Ansible Twins were Tedward and Todburt Ansible, born 347.M31 in the land of Strayllya on Old Earth. They definitely existed and Oscar definitely remembers Soul Binding them. It was thought at the time by Magnus, who was at the time the leading authority of the weird, to be some sort of bio-warp based entanglement.

Real-time, reliable FTL communication would be a holy grail for the Imperium. So you can bet the AdBio would be interested in it. Sadly, all attempts at artificially duplicating the phenomenon via cloning, induced twinning, cross possession, and other methods have yielded no success. You get twins that have varied psychic potential, one that has all the potential and the other with none, etc. It's psykery. It's sticking your dick in the Warp and hoping for the best. You can account for every variable, replicate every condition and still get a different result. The best they can do is just look for specific circumstances and hope for the best. On top of that, most of the proposed methods for creating ansible twins are highly ethically dubious and Oscar won’t touch them. Mass cloning psykers for the purpose of finding the one pair in a thousand that might work is generally considered a bad idea and leads to many issues. Like babies going crazy. And summoning daemons. Sometimes both. The last project got shut down by its own manager, who committed suicide by turning himself into a servitor. The project has still remained a holy grail for the AdBio, ever out of reach.

==Imperial Fiction and Entertainment==

===John Fuklaw and the Angry Marines===

Commissar John Fuklaw exists in this timeline, but the Angry Marines don’t. After a fashion. John Fuklaw exists, but he’s just a relatively normal man with a hair-trigger temper and a blood pressure problem. The John Fuklaw everyone thinks of, the one who runs on anger like tanks run on promethium and surfs Battle Barges like a Looney Toons character, is just that. A cartoon.

During his tenure as a Commissar, Fuklaw was stationed with a regiment of Baalite soldiers. Included with that regiment was a number of 1st Company Blood Angels (a.k.a. “Black Rage” marines). The Blood Angels are well-known for their tendency to see red when it comes to treason. The 1st Company take it up to 11, swearing an “Oath of Rage” to hunt down all enemies of the Imperium with immense abhorrence. They are basically about as close as you can get to Angry Marines in this timeline.

A Remembrancer assigned to cover the regiment saw Fuklaw and the 1st Company and found their antics hilarious. Years later, the much more highly positioned Remembrancer pitches the idea of a highly exaggerated version of them (kind of like G.I. Joe) complete with an fictional parody chapter of the 1st Company (the Angry Marines) to a local entertainment company and they love it. 20 years later the cartoon is a well-established cultural tradition with films, numerous spinoff series, toys, books and a few high budget films.

Fuklaw found out about the cartoon and flipped his lid. But then he found out a portion of the proceeds go to PDF pension fund and supporting wounded Guard veterans. So he tolerates it. Barely.

It is unclear how the Blood Angels are going to react. Seeing as the cartoon takes their vaunted 1st Company, who swear an Oath of Rage out of dedication to their founder, and makes a parody out of it.

===Portrayal of the Primarchs and Other Crusade-Era Figures in Imperial Culture===

Although there are uncountable numbers of films and shit about the Unification War, Great Crusade and War of The Beast there can only be a certain number of characters that people give a shit about. For every Lancelot there is are a hundred Lamorak and Kai.

Taranis, despite all he did, was still not a primarch, and was buried in a nowhere grave in Terrawatt among thousands of others. His grave is no site of importance like Sanguinius, Horus, or Lorgar. Arik might be known to extreme scholars of history in the same way [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Jay| John Jay] is known among the American founding fathers: an interesting person to those who know about him but otherwise literally who? The only notable recognition Taranis got in recent years was in 789.M40 when a film came out purporting to show the "true story" of the Imperium. In it, Taranis is portrayed as a bumbling sidekick and comic relief, like Baldrick on Blackadder. When you're playing the Watson to the Emperor of Mankind, and the people making the film thinks it "needs a comic relief to appeal to audiences", the committee turns you into the bumbling comedy relief. It was a step up from previous portrayals, in which Taranis was a literal spear carrier whose name was only mentioned in the credits. It's also a good thing Constantin Valdor wasn't around by M40 or there would have been words. The only reason the Emperor hadn't decried the film it would have made him too sad to see it.

Horus is remembered as a heroic Coyote- or Hermes-like trickster, his more oilier aspects and ambition ironed out. Part of this is because he only ever voiced his contrary opinions to the Steward behind closed doors. His infamous moment of indecision and subsequent epiphany are often turned into [[Cegorach|Horus tricking the Chaos Gods over and over to distract them from properly directing the War of the Beast]].

Sanguinius is remembered as Objectively Best Primarch, despite the fact he had feelings of insecurity and powerlessness and rage issues (which are never brought up in the public perception).

Ultramar and the Administratum just love Guilliman. For Ultramar, he is the law-bringer, the civilization shaper. The Ultramarines call Guilliman their spiritual liege because he is a figure of veneration for him despite having never been a super soldier, been born in Ultramar, or even fighting on the front lines during most of the Unification Wars and the Great Crusade.

The image of Russ in the common Media of the 41st millennium is that of the ultimate Honourable Savage Viking. Axe in one hand, keg sized beer mug in the other and a different woman every night. A riotous, loud and jovial marauder combining the most desirable parts of man and beast. Truth was he was a never unfaithful to his wives and held great reverence for the sanctity of marriage. His small tribe of daughters was just the result of both his wives and himself being active for the better part of five hundred years. He was also prone to bouts of depression and although he could laugh up a storm was more known for brooding and gnawing at old wounds. His sense of humour was fairly gallows and tended towards self depreciation. But that's hard to make sit-coms out of and the only Space Wolf left who remembers him spends most of his time asleep so who honestly gives a shit.

There has never been a film out that featured Bjorn for the simple reason that nobody apart from the Fenrisians and a small group of eldar give a shit about Bjorn.

Ollanius Pius is barely remembered outside of his famous role and he kamikazed a Rok from landing on the Imperial Palace. He is responsible for saving the Imperium. The only people that remember his name by 999.M41 are Oscar, Isha and Lion should Lion ever come out of the coma.

Of all the well known public names there is only one that has remained conspicuously absent from the big film releases; Eldrad "Unreasonable Royalties" Ulthran. Attempts to make films without informing the grumpy old bastard generally result in Eldrad kicking expensive executive doors in and yelling something on the lines of "heard you were talking shit about me like I wouldn't find out!"

It's not a pleasant experience and Eldrad just does it to fuck with people. He's a dick like that.

==The Void Born==

The Void Born Migrant Fleets were spiritual but decentralized, and inclined to novelty, commerce, and thinking on a vast scale in time and space. Believe it or not, although he named him one of his primarchs the Steward actually had problems with Horus, as Horus was one of the only primarchs to suggest a competing vision for humanity's future (although he only did so behind closed doors). A lot of Horus' dissenting ideas revolved around going with the flow and using inertia to your advantage than try to juggle fifty plates at once. Humanity is diverging as a species? Let them. It's foolish to force a single ideal as a species and as long as we remember we're all brothers and don't throw civilization and sapience out the window why interfere? Giant galaxy-spanning empire? Much easier to work as a semi-independent confederacy given how hard it is to enforce standards on a human civilization dependent on Warp travel. It's ironic to note that despite the Steward's best efforts to enforce his vision, the galaxy is still sliding towards Horus' ideal out of inertia and slow change, and any post-M41 galaxy where the Imperium meaningfully survives is going to look more like Horus' vision if the external threats of Chaos, the Necron Star Empire, and tyranids are lessened and places like Fenris and the Pastoral Worlds apply for Survivor Civilization status.

Void Born were all over the place as isolated clans prior to the Great Crusade. Not even that closely genetically related, Sol's Migrant Fleet interbred quite a bit with Earthlings, Martians, and Navigators enough that some (though very few) were compatible with Astartes augmentations. They were more culturally contiguous than any other human group from the Iron War through Old Night, and maintained rare local interstellar communication and travel in that era. In the current Imperium they are closely tied to the navy, and are the second largest ship building faction behind the AdMech, who don't bother them much about it due to their very long and close relationship. It was probably thanks to the Sol Voidborn that Mars even remembered there were other Forgeworlds out there. There might be a massive Voidborn presence in your home system, but unless you leave the planet or own a really good telescope you wouldn't know, they prefer asteroid belts and lagrange points to descending a gravity well, and only do so for things of great interest that can't come up to them. They love their kingdom of empty space more than any muddy landscape, and their niche has lead to a removed and culturally distinct subset of humanity still closely tied in to the wider Imperial civilization.

Void Born were/are known for being very gregarious, laid-back, and easygoing. High emphasis on community and working together. In the inky blackness of space you basically have to get along, as there is nothing but a thin starship hull between you and the Void. Also no need to burn bridges with people for whom you barely have to deal with most of the time and a friendship would be mutually profitable.

Good example of this is Abbadon versus Horus. Horus grew up in an era where space was dangerous in an uncaring force of nature sort of way and depending on one's fellows was the best bet for survival. Abbadon grew up during the Great Crusade when space stopped being uncaring and started being actively malevolent. Combined with the Void Born being incorporated into the more aggressive Imperium and he ended up with a more militaristic outlook on life (as in "kill them before they kill you"). That said, the two overlapped a lot in outlook, even if Abbadon didn't see it that way.

Sol Voidborn's claim to fame was that they acted as the mercenary transports of the Mechanicum of Mars and did a lot of work for them in-system in exchange for ships. Did a lot of trading between Earth, Mars, and the other Solar planets, along with the nearest outlying systems. AdMech had to build their own ships if they wanted to do something stupid like send an expedition out into where the maps said hic sunt dracones. The Mechanicum tended to use DaoT archaeotech ships for that like the Ark Mechanici until they started building their own.

Mars expected Void Born to side with them when the Imperium became a rising power. Horus took a look at the two (specifically not a big fan of the Olympus Mons brotherhood due to them crushing the others underfoot) and said "no". Or, at the very least, they wouldn't side with Mars over the Imperium.

Compared to other Void Born, Horus is rather notable in that he had ambition, vision, and military acumen. He wasn't a fighter in the same way Lorgar was a fighter: it wasn't his calling but he could still dish out pain (almost always on a ship or in zero G) if he had to. This is the guy who successfully sniped the Beast through guile during the Ullanor Crusade after all.

The Void Born once had a criminal element, much like the Pyrite Order “squat mafia”. Horus actually ran with the gangs in the bowels of the ships in his youth, which is how he knew how to approach ground combat despite being a spacer by birth. All of the major Void Born crime syndicates seemed to mysteriously disappear around the same time Horus got in the game and started unifying the clans. One might wonder why, and one might be denied an answer by fleet intelligence, because nobody saw nothing, and that nothing certainly didn't go down in Horus's used starship lot when some nosey fools asked pointed questions. This wasn’t because people actually didn’t know, Fleet Intelligence isn’t the Inquisition or the Alpha Legion, but rather what happened to the Void Born crime syndicates was an open secret among the Void Born but no one would say anything incriminating to outsiders because it would involve antagonizing the guy who out-mafiaed the Space Mafia (and few cared about the criminal element of the Migrant Fleet in the first place), little got written down and it fell out of history.

Void Born spiritual traditions vary massively from clan to clan. The ones around Ultramar venerate a member of the Religio Mortis trio and Aximand found religion as a coping mechanism after his uncle died. According to the Horus fluff their calendars don't even match up from clan to clan. Some cultural influence from the Diasporex up until the point of "ditch all your worldy things" which the Void Born say "hell no" to. Mention of the Mournival as a Void Born tradition, at least for the groups around Sol.

Void Born kind of fell apart as a unified nation after Abbadon the Last because they didn't have a lot of galactic scale ambition or the necessary cat-herding charisma (Horus was charismatic enough that he could have gotten Kurze and Mortarion to do what he wanted, which even Sanguinius couldn't accomplish) and the clans weren't going to start killing each other over who inherited the silverware.

There was some mention of Horus allowing immigration into the Migrant Fleet to get himself access to more geneseed-compatible recruits.

Void Born are gradually dying out as of M41, though "dying out" is an inaccurate description. The Imperial Navy is in part derived from the Void Born, the Void Born are massively outnumbered by groundpounders and due to population dynamics Voidborn genes are being diluted through interbreeding. Most of the big old naval families have significant Void Born ancestry and related features (pale skin, tall and skinny, receeding hairline). Some pure Voidborn still exist, as [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#Lady_High_Admiral_of_the_Imperial_Navy_Merelda_of_House_Pereth|Merelda Pereth]] will attest.

= Historical Species =

== Humanity ==

Editor's Note: Not finished per writefag, put here as a placeholder for now. Written as an in-universe "Humanity 101" Guide aimed primarily at curious Tau and Eldar who may not have had much contact with humans.

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Humans (''Homo sapiens spp.'') are a species of bipedal mammal native to the planet of Old Earth in the Segmentum Solar. Humans naturally range between 90 and 250 centimeters at adulthood, though their size and appearance is heavily dependent on the population they come from. Like many life-bearing worlds, the ecology of Old Earth shows signs of having been tampered with by the Old Ones, however the specific group to which humans belong did not begin to diversify until roughly around the end of the War in Heaven sixty-five million years ago, after a catastrophe wiped out the planet’s formerly dominant organisms, something that is thought to be related to the general Necron purge of Old One vivarium worlds.

Prior to the Age of Strife, humans were organized into the “Great and Bountiful Human Dominion”. The Great and Bountiful Human Dominion, in turn, were organized into the “Interstellar League” a group of allied like-minded xenos species that banded together in the face of external threats, mostly Orks and increasingly up to the Age of Strife raiding parties by the Old Eldar Empire. It is unknown how many other species were part of the Intersolar League, though it is known that the Tarellian Empire were members and there are suspicions that the Kinebrach were as well.

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Life in the Great and Bountiful Human Empire was dominated by the use of the Men of Iron, an artificially created race of sapient artificial constructs, which were linked to the Iron Minds, extremely powerful silica animus. The Iron Minds were originally created by humans, but their thought processes were so alien to humans that communication was nearly impossible. In order to facilitate communication with both the Iron Mind and the rest of the Empire as a whole, humans and the Iron Minds collaborated to created the Men of Gold (Homo sapiens aureus), a genetically engineered subspecies with substantial psychic, biological, and pseudo-cybernetic modification that could act as a link between the god-like Iron Minds and the average human and aid in broader faster-than-light communication to the wider galaxy.

Human (or “human beings” as they are sometimes referred to), are the second, possibly the third most abundant sentient life form in the galaxy, after intelligent orkoids and possibly after tyranids or necrons, depending on how one estimates the populations of these species and whether one considers them “sentient life”.

Prior to the Age of Strife, there were few subspecies of humans aside from artificially created variants like ''H. s. aureus'' (Men of Gold), H. s. navigo (Navigators), and ''H. s. variegatus'' (beastmen), as the human world were linked into a single empire and there were few opportunities for speciation. During the Age of Strife, most human worlds were effectively cut off from one another, which led to genetic isolation and the evolution of many distinct species, including ''H. s. minutus'' (ratlings), ''H. s. hirstutus'' (felinids), the “Ogryn subspecies complex” (''H. s. giganteus'', ''H. s. cranopus'', and related forms).

Hubworlders, although often (mis)classified as ''H. s. rotundus'', are not actually a distinct subspecies from baseline humanity. Genetic analysis of Hubworlders have found them to deviate from inhabitants of Old Earth (who are considered to be the genetic standard for humanity) to a degree comparable to the inhabitants of Cadia or many other worlds across the galaxy: in other words, not enough to be regarded as anything more than a local variant of baseline humanity. (Insert section talking about how their stature is due to gravity, and the AdMech classifying them as abhumans out of revenge for not rolling over for Mars).

As with any sentient species, describing what humans are like to a nonhuman is often very difficult, especially given their wide degree of variation and high number of subspecies. Because most of the individuals reading this guide will be Tau and eldar, comparisons will mostly focus on these two species. Despite their infamous superficial similarity to eldar, detailed examination shows that this resemblance is only skin deep. Instead, humans and eldar appear to have evolved a similar body shape as a solution to similar evolutionary problems despite being very different in biology and behavior in other respects, similar to what occurred between dogs and thylacines (a carnivorous marsupial that was a popular pet during the Dark Age of Technology and as a result can still be found on some human colony worlds) on Old Earth.

Like eldar, humans have permanently enlarged mammary glands, in contrast to a Tau in which the mammary glands are usually small but get larger for the short period of lactation following pregnancy. Additionally, like eldar, humans appear to be a naturally monogamous species (or at least require the care of multiple individuals to increase the likelihood of surviving to adulthood). Humans also exhibit adaptations designed to encourage this behavior, humans in the form of “hidden estrus”, eldar in the form of prolonged fertilization that requires the male to stay around in order to produce viable offspring. Like eldar, humans have a long pregnancy and give live birth to a relatively helpless infant, something that would be expected given the species moderately large soul and psychic presence. However, at nine months human pregnancy is much shorter than the 24 month long term period seen in eldar. Additionally, unlike eldar or tau (or indeed, most other species), human females are nearly helpless for much of their pregnancy due to a quirk of evolution, which causes human military structure to be unusually male dominated compared to most other species, something that really only changed with the advent of advanced weaponry during the Age of Terra.

However, unlike eldar, the human skeleton is made out of the mineral hydroxylapatite rather than wraithbone and humans have a shorter neck with seven, rather than nine, neck vertebrae (among other differences). Humans also lack the helical muscle with long tendinous insertions typical of Shaa-Dome lifeforms, which allows eldar to be deceptively strong despite their thin frame. In general, humans across the board have less acute sense than the eldar, but at the same time proportionally less of their brain is devoted to sensory perception (cognition is about the same) and they are not as prone to stimulatory overload or hedonism (some of this may also be a side effect of Old One genetic engineering). Compared to Tau humans have better depth perception and motion tracking, but poorer peripheral vision and do not see as far into the infrared or ultraviolet spectrum. Humans also have a much poorer sense of smell than most species, though this does not apply to all abhuman variants (e.g., felinids and beastmen). Baseline humans have next to no ability to detect pheromones.

The oral structures used for processing food are actually modified scales made of harder material than the rest of the skeleton, as in the tau, rather than outgrowths of the jaw plate as in eldar. Humans lack the multiple-lobed stomach of the tau or the simplified, highly efficient digestive tract of the eldar (though the latter is thought to be the result of genetic engineering). Human digestive systems are not particularly water efficient and as a result the products of their metabolism system tend to require a lot of water to successfully dispose of waste, rather than the water-efficient crystalline waste of the eldar (analogous to uric acid in birds on Old Earth). And, of course, although small amounts of epigenetic gene expression through methylation are known to occur on occasion in humans and other Terran lifeforms, selective gene expression and the associated, highly-bunched megasomes and quadruple helix DNA are not a defining feature of life on Old Earth as it is of all higher life forms on Shaa-Dome.

Humans are unique among sapient species in having white sclerae, a feature which is thought to have been a chance mutation on their homeworld but aids in non-verbal communication. Despite their similarities, eldar eyes have been described as resembling those of Earth deer whereas tau resemble grazing ungulates. White sclerae are a common feature of all baseline humans and abhuman strains, with a few notable exceptions such as Nightsiders, and their presence is a useful rule of thumb for identifying organisms with significant human geno-splicing. Some xenos individuals have remarked that human eyes are actually unsettling, occasionally giving them a rapacious, predatory look, whereas Nightsiders do not fall into this uncanny valley. The irony being that most human strains are less predatory than Nightsiders.

Human beings are also notable for having some of the lowest resistance to chaos corruption of any known sentiment species. On the Leitek-Bonn scale, which measures a species susceptibility to ambient chaos corruption with 50 representing the average species, human score a mere 28, in contrast to eldar (60), tau (82), orks (97), and of course the gold standard of the Watchers (99.5). This is thought to be due to several reasons. First, humans are naturally a competitive and domineering species. Although standing and social structure are an important component of the psychology of all sentient species, no other species dedicates so much of its time and energy to hierarchy, dominance, and social status as humans, with the possible exception of the pre-biotransference Necrontyr. Much like how the tau’s natural optimism and tendency towards social conformity are thought to derive from their ancestry as herding ungulates. Humans come from a group of animals with a naturally unstable social structure and whose diet (fruits, nuts, and meat) tends to be very unpredictable and hard to find. This gives them a tendency to be paranoid and second guess those around them. As an example, most species, if told that something is dangerous by a member of their own social group, tend to believe that individual. Humans, on the other hand, are often innately suspicious that said individual is lying, believing that the other individual is hiding some that they plan to use for themselves or increase their social standing. This was a useful adaptation millions of years ago when a compatriot might be hiding a piece of meat or stash of fruit, but is decidedly less helpful in the modern day where the “hidden” “resource” might be an actually dangerous Chaos artifact.

Secondly, even among their close relatives on Old Earth, humans are unusual in that the neurological architecture of the brain is very plastic and is not strongly genetically conserved between generations. While this is a common trait of almost all sentient species (and indeed, may be a criterion necessary for sentience to arise), the way in which it arose in humans has a side effect of greatly increasing the risk of mental dysfunction and illness in this species. While some of the worst downsides of this were ironed out by geno-medicine during the Dark Age of Technology, it was not possible to completely stamp out millions of years of evolution. This makes it unusually easy for ambient Warp exposure to cause psychosis at even low levels. While mental illness in and of itself is not necessarily indicative of loyalty to the Ruinous Powers (as Perturabo and Kurze can attest) unexpected warp exposure-induced psychosis can affect the decision-making skills of an individual and cause them to become further corrupted. It is even possible that the domineering nature of humans is in part a response to that natural disorder in their physical and mental environments, trying to impose order where there is none. Although humanity’s low corruption resistance can be overcome by self-discipline, individual fortitude, and training, it is always a good idea to check the mental status of human compatriots to ensure chronic damage has not occurred.

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== The Proto-Eldar and General Eldar Biology ==

The eldar were not always a race of long-lived super-psykers. Once they were just a bunch of primitives banging rocks together, just like everyone else. Early in their history the eldar were invaded by a race known only as the [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Mon-Keigh|Mon-Keigh]] (as in the original Mon-Keigh, from which the more common use of the term is derived), which wreaked havoc on the proto-eldar until they were finally defeated by the eldar folk hero Elronhir, and helped contribute to the eldar’s rather paranoid attitude towards other species. The Old Ones noticed the proto-eldar’s “small talent for war” and uplifted them to serve as front-line soldiers during the War in Heaven.

The eldar would have only been a late-Stone Age/Bronze Age species when this happened. This can be seen in the fact that the eldar had a murder god (Khaine) that was only secondarily shoehorned into the role of a war god, as opposed to a straight-up war god that honored martial talent and discipline. Before the invasion of the Mon-Keigh and the War in Heaven, the Eldar had no grasp of the concept of wide-scale killing or genocide. This disparate nature of worship might have made Khaine a bit loopy, and may have contributed to Khaine’s team killing rampage during the War in Heaven. Even Isha has a bit of a primal streak that she occasionally lets off the leash after 60+ million years.

This sudden technological shift is also part of the reason behind the eldar’s infamous cultural posturing. In their minds, the eldar believe that they deserve to be the dominant species, because they’ve fucking earned it. They were a race that had just figured out bronze was a good idea that was suddenly expected to be soldiers in an interstellar war where the power levels were almost beyond modern comprehension, and they had to learn on the job. So in their mind they’ve earned their position by going through hell and back during the War in Heaven, something that few other races besides the Orks and Hrud can attest to.

The eldar underwent massive genetic engineering twice in their evolutionary history: once when they were initially uplifted by the Old Ones, and again during the sixty million years they had to get good following the War in Heaven. This means they had a lot of time to figure out as many alleles as possible for longevity and health. The eldar could have possibly even engineered themselves to live longer than pre-Fall eldar would have, but they simply found reincarnation to be a more effective solution. The point is that by the time of the Fall, the eldar had tinkered with their genetic code so long that many of the artificial modifications were seen as a normal part of the eldar genome because everyone had them.

However, this should not be taken to mean that the eldar were able to reach the levels they did simply because they had the advantage of being uplifted and a head start. Much like how human evolution on Earth relative to other animals was defined by the production and manufacture of tools, the evolution of the eldar seems to be defined by their longevity. The eldar are naturally graceful, but that agility is enhanced by years of training, much like how older humans are able to move more efficiently because they have had more time to know the quirks and limitations of their body. The same is true of psykery. Psyker species are noted to have longer developmental times proportional to their degree of psychic power, and long lifespans allows for greater refinement and control of psychic power. This would have led to a feedback loop where psychic powers would select for long lifespans, and vice versa.

The unique eldar method of reproduction, where the male inseminates the female over several periods, seems to have been present early in eldar history, despite seeming to be a liability to any species without an incredibly long lifespan. It seems that this method of reproduction was present even in the early eldar, but the low reproductive rate was offset by natural twinning, given the high prevalence of multiple births in eldar society (enough that eldar titans are often designed around twins in some way).

Eldar are physically and sexually mature at 30 years of age, age of majority is about 45 or so for most Craftworlds, but even after that individuals are generally considered to be immature and inexperienced for the next two to three centuries. Physically but not mentally mature (the best comparison in human terms would be dumbass, hot-headed young adults in their late teens/twenties with more youth than brains). Given eldar don't really get feeble with age, or at least [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#Eldrad_Ulthran|not until they are 10,000+ years old due to pre-Fall genetic engineering]], as well as their clannish and tribal nature, it is no surprise that eldar societies usually tend to treat the gerontocracy as the wisest and most responsible members of society ([[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#Eldrad_Ulthran|usually]]). Eldar adolescence (as in 30 or so, eldar that are 70+ are considered young and [[Tau|full of starry-eyed idealism]] but not adolescents) about as [[Dwarf Fortress|fun]] as you can expect for the Enforcers, who have to deal with keeping a bunch of rebellious, hormone-driven descendants of super soldiers in line, and tend to be extra harsh on them to keep them from slipping down the same path that the Old Empire, Commorrites, and Crones did. Injuries that break bones have been mentioned in some cases. This is one reason why Biel-Tan started requiring mandatory military service and shipping its youngsters out to serve in order to temper them a bit (which started the tradition of the other Craftworlds doing something similar, because Biel-Tan is the most influential Craftworld to the other Craftworlds).

Eldar ears are covered in mechanoreceptors (mostly microscopic sensory hairs and pits) The pointed shape of the ears, their ability to move independently, and their position away from the body gives the eldar an amazing sense of balance and proprioception, which help contribute to the agility and grace the eldar are so well known for. That said, the mechanoreceptors of the ear are calibrated for air currents and balance. Physically touching them is much more stimulus than they are supposed to receive and gives a much potent sensation. Eldar being sapient they figured out how this natural adaptation could be abused early in their history, just like humans have with their areas of high neuronal density that aren't supposed to be used that way (e.g., lips).

Eldar tend to have more vibrant “birdy” hair colors than humans. For example, Eldar with black hair tends to have hair that is a shiny iridescent black like a crow and eldar with red hair are described as having hair that is a hue too bold and vivid to be mistaken for human, in contrast to the more mammalian, earthy tones of reds, browns, and blacks you see in humans. Modern eldar don't bald like humans do and their hair tends to produce oils that make long hair easier to manage. Indeed, although many human cultures see eldar men as looking feminine long hair is seen as a sign of masculinity in eldar culture. Completely shaven heads are seen as a sign of sickness or being in a state of mourning and sorrow.

== The Necrontyr ==

In general, the Necrontyr are often considered to be similar to the Tau in many respects, including short lifespans, minimal warp presence, broad flat faces with little in the way of a nose, and slightly slower reflexes than humans. However, the Necrontyr differ from the Tau in several major ways. Unlike Tau, they lack a Jackobson's organ (the face-slit of the Tau), instead having a single nasal cavity similar to a lamprey, and have much faster reflexes. It's not clear if the bony ridge you see on many Necrons is supposed to reflect an actual biological feature, or was part of their armor when they were Necrontyr.

The Necrontyr are also big. Tau are said to be just a little bit shorter than humans, 5’5” on average. Necrons on the other hand are able to look Space Marines and Eldar in the eye. There is no evidence that the Necrontyr went through a major “growth spurt” when they became the Necrons like the Eldar did when the Old Ones first messed with them, so it’s likely that the Necrontyr were just that tall. Indeed, the Old Ones may have engineered the Eldar and Orks to be the size that they are so they were “about” Necrontyr size. It’s also not certain if that stooped posture is natural. It’s may not be, but it’s entirely possible that this is just how a Necrontyr stood.

The other major area in which the Necrontyr differ from the Tau is pain tolerance. Necrontyr are ridiculously resistant to pain. Even before they became the Necrons, the Necrontyr were described as being kind of tanky. Tanky as in “compensated for reflexes by ignoring the pain” as opposed to “super durability”. This pain tolerance is likely at least partially an evolutionary adaptation and partially a learned skill, because when your body is wracked with painful tumors there’s not a lot someone can do to you to make it worse. This pain tolerance likely influenced the way the Necrontyr fought. The Necrons/Necrontyr in canon are known to consider loyalty and discipline to be a big deal, even compared to other races. Such pain tolerance and high discipline would likely lead to confrontations where Necrontyr warriors would likely have formed massive firing lines to maximum dakka, being durable and pain tolerant enough to ignore glancing hits that led most other races to consider this a bad idea. The infamous Necron "shoot and move" maneuver? That more than likely originated with the Necrontyr.

== The Yu'Vath ==

The Yu'vath were a Chaos-worshipping xenos race that controlled much of the Calixis Sector during the Age of Strife. Describing exactly what the yu’vath looked like is a surprisingly difficult task. On the one hand you had the “core” yu’vath, which are thought to be what the race originally looked like. “Core” yu’vath were a strange combination between human and crustacean, with a bipedal, four-limbed body. Each long, robust arm ended in three clawed fingers and each digigrade foot ended in two forwards and backwards pointing toes, giving their feet an “X”-like shape. At the center of their torso was their head, which contained numerous sets of insectile mandibles.

As a silicate-based species, the yu’vath were experts in cybernetic alteration, their bodies more readily adapting to the addition of cybernetics than flesh and blood, much like the Demiurg. Yu’vath bodies were often heavily modified for various purposes, their cybernetics growing like living tissue based on what was needed and the role an individual needed to perform. Despite both being silicon-based, however, the yu’vath are no more closely related to the Demiurg than humans are to any other carbon-based sentient species like the Tau. There is some debate, however, as to whether the ambull found across many worlds are devolved descendants of the yu’vath, or else some kind of sister species like humans are to the great apes.

On the other hand, you have the “lesser” yu’vath. Slaves from other species forcibly implanted with yu’vath cybernetics and turned into war machines. Yu’vath technology is weird. The yu’vath were capable of downloading their souls into their cybernetics, then if the main body died simply scooping out the host soul and replacing it with the augment’s original owner when attached to a new body. In theory, one could simply bring an individual yu’vath back to life by stripping the cybernetics off of them and implanting them in a new host. Eventually, the cybernetics would grow to completely cover the new body, growing and modifying themselves to whatever role necessary. However, in most cases these cybernetics gradually turned its host into a form similar to a core Yu’vath.

It is not clear where the Yu’vath came from. Certainly, there are no records of any such Chaos worshipping civilization in what few records remains from the Dark Age of Technology. The eldar Harlequins speak of a race that sold their souls to Chaos, damning their brethren that refused to follow, but whether this is support for the “devolved into ambull” theory or if those that refused to follow were just eaten by daemons is unknown.

In addition to their core territory in the Calixis Sector, the Yu’vath had a fairly sizeable number of feelers elsewhere in the galaxy during the Age of Strife. A raiding party of Yu’vath even went so far as to have an outpost on Pluto during the Great Crusade, though they were eventually driven from the system by the time of the Unification of Sol by the actions of [DATA EXPUNGED].

The Yu’vath were one of the more notable threats faced by the Imperium during the Great Crusade, and unlike many the Yu’vath front remained a long-term issue, but eventually the Imperium managed to force them back to a rump state. The Yu’Vath participated in the War of the Beast, but as with the Crone Eldar and all things non-Ork the species took a backseat to the green tide that assaulted the galaxy during this time. However, the Yu’Vath did manage to retake much of their holdings during this time and more, expanding into many of the areas just south of the Eye of Terror. They became a thorn in the Imperium's side, but not a threat to the degree that the Crones or Orks were.

The resurgence of the Yu'vath was clearly a problem, and the Imperium hacked away at it in a series of on-again, off-again wars interspersed with Black Crusades over the years. Eventually, the Yu’Vath were finally eradicated in a major battle in the galactic northwest either just before or as revenge for the Fourth Black Crusade.

Today, the Yu’Vath themselves mostly confined to the pages of history. The people of the modern galaxy should be thankful for it. Although they may not have been threats on the level of the Necron Star Empire or the tyranid Hive Fleet, the Yu’Vath were terrors in their time. Aside from their technology, all that remains of the Yu’vath are the few members of their race that were raised to daemon princedom or escaped the slow, inexorable march of time by hiding in the Eye of Terror, mostly associated with the Soul Forge.

Although the Imperium were the ones to finally wipe the Yu'vath out, the source of the loss of their holdings just south of the Eye of Terror was a bit of a surprise. The Q'orl, who as a race had only recently spread out into the stars from their homeworld of Loq’qit, drove the Yu'vath from these worlds. Years of fighting the Imperium meant that the southern worlds were generally poorly manned due to the low number of Yu'vath.

Additionally, as a eusocial species, the q’orl were surprisingly well-adapted to dealing with the Chaos corruption spread by the yu’vath. If an individual drone became corrupted, it was simply destroyed at no great loss to the Queens. The q’orl also found the Yu’vath’s technology and artwork to be insulting to their xenophobic sensibilities and often had it destroyed in a hail of orbital fire. Being much more willing to take losses than the Imperium would, the Q'orl were able to take control of many of the former Yu'vath worlds.

Despite being an all but extinct species, Yu'vath artifacts are still a problem today. The problem with Yu'vath artifacts is they never really break down naturally. They can lie unused for millenia until rediscovered by some unsuspecting sod. As Savant Preem said, "If it does not rot, if it can lie like this here forever...is it truly dead?"

Yu’Vath cybernetics have been known to physically spring to life and drag themselves to attack a particularly desirable host, typically some variant of psyker. Tech-priests refuse to go near anything Yu'vath, as the Yu'vath were masters of Chaotic scrapcode that presented a very real threat of hijacking their cybernetics.

There are some concerns that the Spyrer battlesuits, purchased by Imperial nobles as self-defense weapons (and status symbols) on black markets across several Hive Worlds, are actually derived or reverse-engineered from Yu’vath technology.

The Yu’Vath were notable for their methodical, detached methods of worshipping the Chaos Gods. To the Yu’Vath, Chaos and the Warp was something that could be measured, quantified, and studied, a worldview that was baffling to species like humans and eldar, who perceived Chaos as something much more irrational and unquantifiable. The Yu’Vath had found answers to questions that no one else would dare ask, such as how many sacrifices it took to summon a daemon or how much favor it was necessary to empower a given daemon machine. It is thought that the Yu’Vath had emotional centers of their brain that were vastly subservient to their logic centers, allowing them the emotions necessary to worship the Chaos Gods but filtering it through their rationalist worldview. Or perhaps quantifying Chaos was their way of worshipping it, showing devotion by obsessively seeking literal answers to the question of how many daemons could dance on the head of a pin. This allowed the Yu’Vath to be reliable in their production of technology, whereas other groups of Chaos worshippers with a significant industrial base, like the Crone Eldar, Dark Mechanicus, and the Laer, tended to be more subject to flights of fancy.

= Notable Planets =

==Medusa==

To clarify, the giant terraformers aren’t Men of Iron in any way. They’re basically DaoT roombas that someone forgot to hit the off switch on (or the off switch broke, considering the Age of Strife).
Originally just the AdMech and the AdBio were going to be mentioned, until it became apparent that Eldar farseer terraforming counts as “Imperial” as well. The point is more that these terraforming machines are beyond what M41 humanity is capable of, rather than any comparison between humanity and the Eldar. However, the Eldar have lost their best stuff too, so it’s likely that the way farseers terraform worlds is simple compared to what the Old Eldar Empire was capable of. Indeed, these terraformers more brute-force the habitability of a world, rather than develop a healthy ecosystem the way the Eldar do.

==Ganymede==

One of the main figures in charge of Ganymede is Inquisitor Jaq Draco, one of the Imperium's extremely high-end psykers and one of the few humans that can navigate the Webway. Also as nutty as they come. Draco is as much an object to be contained as a staffmember, and the fact that the Imperium would station one of their most powerful psykers here as a safeguard against something going wrong on Ganymede speaks volumes about the danger posed by the stuff on Ganymede.

Ganymede is kind of a sore spot between Eldar and human parts of the Imperium. The Eldar elders think most of the stuff held on Ganymede is fricking dangerous, and it should be destroyed posthaste (preferably by throwing it into the nearest star). They tend to say "I told you so" when something breaks out or goes horribly wrong. The humans tend to reply that we don't even know how to safely destroy most of this stuff (e.g., throwing an artifact into a star could just result in the object eating the star, especially if it's C'tan tech), it's safer where it is (e.g., Apep), and it might prove useful someday. They tend to say "I told you so" when items on Ganymede turn out to be of relevance or provide valuable information to stopping a threat.

==Old Earth and the Sol System in general==

In general, non-humans aren't allowed to set foot on Earth past the Daisy Chain without the proper permits. Old Earth being restricted to humans is more a matter of privacy than anything else. Old Earth is a pretty big deal to humans and holds a lot of spiritual significance, regardless of religion, and they don't want a veritable horde of xeno tourists coming in and messing everything up like drunks spray-painting a holy site. However, the Imperium also tries to afford the same kind of respect to other species. Xenos generally aren't allowed outside the Xenos districts of Craftworlds without prior permission, non-Tau are generally not allowed on T'au, etc. Exceptions are generally made in the case of emergencies like a ship being blown off course because of a warp storm.

That said, Old Earth does have non-humans on it, just not very many. Annual permits are issued for non-humans to visit Earth. As is the case for some places today, foreigners (by which I mean non-humans) can rent places, but they can't buy property (then again, few can buy property on Old Earth). Ambassadors from the Craftworlds and non-human civilizations get a pass, as well as seers and other people who work for the Administratum. You get tourists and students who are able to articulate well enough that they won't go getting drunk and disrupting cultural sites. Merchants and traders who want to sell wares (though it's generally a bad idea trying to sell tech in Mars' backyard). And of course Isha and the Handmaidens get a free pass because it would be stupid for the fricking Empress to not be allowed to set foot on the throne world.

On the other hand, most foreigners and tourists don't even care if they get to set foot on Old Earth specifically. Urban sprawl has reached the point that the entire Sol System is considered the metropolitan heart of the Imperium, to the point that most visitors from out-of-system (human and otherwise) usually end up touring around the outer parts of the Sol System and still feel like they can say they've visited the Imperium's capital.

==the Realm of Ultramar and the Imperium Secundus Plan==

Roboute Guilliman just loved his contingency plans. No matter what happened he had a plan for how to beat it. It was how his forces reacted so quickly and coherently when The Beast smashed into Imperial Space. They just adapted one of his older plans slightly. He was anticipating the discovery of some great and hostile empire, possibly human possibly xeno, out on the Eastern Fringe. Sort of an "Evil Twin. Wat Do?" type deal. The Ultramarine WotB plans were mostly just adapted from that.

Guilliman’s plan for the absolute worst case scenario, one where the “evil empire” made it all the way to Segmentum Solar and Old Earth fell, was to rally all the assets that could be salvaged and rebuild the Imperium somewhere else. Guilliman made no secret about his plan B (as well as the fact that it was supposed to be just that, a plan B), as it was only sensible to prepare for the worst. For this plan, Guilliman chose the Survivor Civilization of Ultramar. Ultramar was about as far away from the Imperium as you could get and still be in what one could call civilization. Ultramar was also very well-organized, so his plan was mostly based around the older empire of Ultramar and using that as a keystone for other systems to rally around. If the hypothetical evil empire arose anywhere else and smashed into Segmentum Solar and Old Earth, Ultramar would be the best place to be clear of the blast radius. In any case the Imperium Secundus groundwork needed someone to oversee it. Lord Guilliman’s grandson, Gaufrid Guilliman, was a very competent and respected member of the Administratum who was tasked with overseeing this great and hopefully never to be used Plan B.

When Guilliman first came to Ultramar, Ultramar was organized in a manner similar to the Delian League of ancient Earth. On paper, Ultramar was supposed to be an association of equals, but in practice it was a hegemonic empire with Macragge, being the most populous and militarily powerful, calling the shots. Guilliman made numerous reforms to Ultramar’s government and bureaucracy, among other things turning it into a “one planet, one vote” system. Macragge went along with it because at the time Macragge afraid of being upstaged by Calth, who threatened to surpass Macragge in terms of population and therefore threatened Macragge’s power in Ultramar. Ironically, Guilliman preserved Macragge’s voice in the system at the expense of ending Macraggian hegemony. Macragge and Calth still tend to butt heads politically, being the two largest and most prosperous worlds in Ultramar, but the system is far smoother and more efficient than it once was.

Guilliman's plan proved surprisingly prescient. When the War of the Beast broke out, Ultramar's remote location meant it was spared the worst of the fighting. Ultramar saw conflict, as did all regions of the Imperium but it did not see the fierce fighting that wracked Segmenta Solar and Obscurus. Gaufrid Guilliman was the only descendant of Yolande Fouché and Roboute Guilliman to survive the War of the Beast, thanks to Guilliman’s contingency plan. The line of Guilliman and House Guilliman failed on Old Earth. None of his descendants were counted among the living at the end of the war. There are still people in the realm of Ultramar with the name Guilliman. They are almost certainly descendants now very far removed.

==Rynn's World==

The planet of Rynn’s world is rather unusual in that the planet is ruled by the combination of the married union of a (usually matriarchal) ruler and the Chapter Master of the Crimson Fists. It is a ceremonial thing going back to the days of Rynn when the Exiled King married his daughter and heir to the head the military in the convoy, a Space Marine of great wisdom and charisma called Alexis Polux.

It is a tradition known as the everlasting marriage to symbolize the eternal bond between Rynn's World and the Imperium. The marriage is everlasting because when one dies the surviving member has to marry the replacement. Needless to say this has resulted in the royal title being strictly matrilineal despite the rest of the aristocracy being cognatic. Should either party to assume the position be already married then the other half in this arrangement becomes a secondary wife/husband, in such cases the marriage does not need to be consummated as that would/might infringe on per-existing vows.

It also results in stability as there is no question of succession as upon the death of one the other takes their title, lands and possessions until the replacement marriage ceremony which does mean that in the days between partners the title of Chapter Master is held by a woman which is possibly unprecedented.

This breakdown of a clear dividing line between the baseline humans and Space Marines, and indeed between military rank and the aristocratic hierarchy, has in the years since Rynn and Polux permeated totally in society. Although the commoners cannot become nobility save through special and rare appointment by the Queen or by marriage into the nobility the rank of (usually) unlanded-nobility is traditionally handed out with promotion to officer.

With the marriage of Chapter to the Aristocracy and every Space Marine having been trained to be officers of one sort or another this has resulted in the Chapter becoming a not insubstantial part of the landed gentry. Every marine has an estate, a patch of their homeworld that they call their own. Due to them having no real interest in such things this is typically the less sought after land in inhospitable places. The craggy mountains around their fortress, deserts and the wind swept and salt spray blasted islands in the far north and south. The few hardy inhabitants of these remote lands appreciate that there are masters who will lend a hand if needed but tend to live in those lands because they don't care for authority above them and so value the Space Marines lack of any real interest.

Rynn's World was not the original home of the chapter, at first they were nomadic and had been since they were the 405th Company of Dorn's Legion. It was by attaching their forces to Rynn's colony fleet as it set out to resettle an exterminated world in the time of The Rebuilding that they came to enjoy their more permanent habitation.

Pedro Kantor is the current commander of the remnants of his chapter, king of a world brought to ruin and husband of Queen Maia Cagliestra who actually rules the planet when it's not being raped to death by orks.

The Crimson Fists did boast ~2,100 members all accounted, now down to 128. The Fortress has been relocated to New Rynn City. As the world is rebuilt and the other lesser cities reestablished the intention is to appoint each company to a city and diffuse the chapter. Next time it's going to take more than 1 malfunctioning nuclear missile to devastate them. The Immortal Captain Alessio Cortezwill be put in command of the fortress to be rebuilt Caltara and will have the dubious honour of owning the crater of Arx Tyrranis when the time comes.

In the wake of the devastation caused by Snagrod the province of Dorado in the north of the west continent was completely depopulated as people fled to the safety of Santoris, the only city in that land.

When the walls fell nobody was spared. Those that fled or had previously tried to hide in the wilderness were hunted down in the following months as sport. If there were as many as a hundred survivors left it would be miraculous and what few there were wandered south to warmer climes in the search for other survivors.

It was not until a few years later when expeditionary forces sent before settlement teams sailed north from Port Calina that they found that Dorado had now gained new inhabitants. The royal court of Rynn's World had by satellite imagery been aware of activity in that province and had hoped that it was a previously hidden survivor population coming back out into the open or unofficial land grabbers that could be reasoned with and made into the basis of the recolonization. What they were dreading was a feral ork resurgence.

It was none of these things. With ample fertile land lying unclaimed exodites had moved in rather than let those fields become totally overgrown. They seemed uninterested in leaving as they had just set up their modest houses, sown their seeds and had even planted a new wraith-tree (itself a monumental occasion). Although Chapter Master Kantor was all for forcibly relocating them off the planet, as illegal squatters they had no rights, this was not a military matter unless things went very wrong. After due consideration Queen Cagliestra allowed them to stay on the principle that exodites were typically polite to their hosts and didn't cause trouble. And also the planet was still pretty empty considering that the only real body of survivors had been the Silver Citadel at the heart of the capital city.

In gratitude the exodites promised to hand over any surplus produce from their new homeland as a form of rent. As this was not massively different to the way things were before and the cost of resettlement was being paid by someone else everyone was happy, or only mildly cantankerous.

The chapter itself raised the matter of rebuilding with its neighbouring chapters at the Feast of Blades held in the following year. Due to the increasing strains of an increasingly hostile galaxy none promised and assistance in the rebuilding, preoccupied with their own troubles as they were.

Rynn's World was just one little agri-world after all and not so broken that it couldn't heal on its own.

==Severan Dominate==

The Severan Dominate is a violent oppressive enclave that as of 999.M41 is primarily holding on through grimderp pseudo-pragmatism that is really serving to make things worse for everyone. Their casus belli for secession basically boils down to the fact that the Severan Dominate are basically lucky in that they’ve never really seen a real war. Like the Tau in vanilla, they really don’t understand the scope of the galaxy they live in. So when they hear stories of what is happening elsewhere in the galaxy, they think it’s on the same level of what they have to deal with, exaggerated by shell shock, big fish stories, and an intragalactic game of telephone. They hear stories of endless hordes of insectoid xenos (Tyranids) and go “we have those too, we call them the Q’orl”. They think an invasion by the Blood Pact is on the same level as a Black Crusade. They think a bunch of isolated enclaves are what the Imperium worries about when they hear “Necron Star Empire”. They think Grimtoof Git-Slaver is on the level of Ghazghull. They’re like soldiers fighting in Africa during World War I hearing about what’s going on in No-Man’s Land and finding what there hearing simply too ridiculous to believe. They're the logical extension of someone hearing of how the galaxy really works and finding the truth to be more ridiculous than fiction.

The Imperium has tried explaining what’s really going on to the Severan Dominate, but the Dominate refuses to believe them. They see the Imperium as using the Tyranids, Necrons, Chaos, and Brain Boyz as boogeymen used to justify the increasingly high tithes placed on worlds like the Dominate in order to support their favored worlds like, say, Cadia. They think the Imperium is overexaggerating the threat and that they can survive perfectly well on their own. They have no idea the kind of rapetrain that is out there in the darkness. Additionally, the current heads of the Severus family are kind of self-centered assholes and see setting up their own petty empire as their own personal ego-trip. As a result, it was relatively easy for them to convince the citizenry that the Imperium had been lying to them to justify higher taxes and incite secession.

Of course, this leads to problems. Part of the deal on joining the Imperium is that when you are in, you are in for good. There are no fair-weather friendships or chickening out in the Imperium. The Imperium can’t afford to let the Dominate leave. If the Imperium allows a state to leave then others in a similar position will leave. If they all piss off it's going to be a small number of worlds holding up a large number of fortress worlds that are keeping the monsters out. The walls fall through lack of support and monsters get in and the Imperium gets annihilated and, and here is the real kicker, those worlds that ran away realize their folly only after it's too late to possibly be doing anything about it and everyone is dead and there is no hope for meaningful survival of any member of the Imperium. Hence the current war with the Dominate. The Emperor also doesn’t like the idea of leaving an uncorrupted human civilization out to hang, but the situation is starting to become one in which there is no objectively right decision. Either kill a whole bunch of citizens of the Severan Dominate and the greater Imperium in a bloody war to suppress the rebellion, or leave the Dominate out to hang and watch an entire civilization get killed by Chaos/Dark Eldar/Orks/Slaugth/whatever.

The Severan Dominate see the overwhelming response of the Imperium as the desperate attempts of a failing empire to hold onto power, rather than simply the sheer amount of power the Imperium is able to wield its fuckhuge army in times of relative peace (see: [[Nobledark_Imperium_Drafts#The_Badab_War|Badab]], the last time the Q’orl got uppity). However, the Imperium is still much, much bigger than they are, and the Dominate is starting to get desperate. They’re not stupid enough to try joining Chaos, but they might even be stupid enough to try and get backing from forces that they should know better than to negotiate with to achieve their goals. Specifically, the Severus family is making deals with the Slaugth instead of/in addition to the Dark Eldar, giving the maggot-men a few worlds in exchange for an external foe to keep the Dominate in line ([[Nobledark_Imperium_Drafts#The_Rangdan_Xenocides_and_the_Slaugth|and completely unaware of what happens if you let the Slaugth get a foothold]]), hence why there are so many Slaugth in the Calixis Sector.

As of 999.M41, the suppression of the rebellion of the Severan Dominate is just still going on. No one is aware of the level of shit that is about to go down, so it’s possible the Dominate might just get the lucky break they have been hoping for.

==Olamic Quietude==

Editor's Note: May have to rewrite, threads talked about making Olamics "brain in a jar" remotely piloting robot bodies to avoid the issues with a post-scarcity society curbstomping everyone.

The Olamic Quietude are a bastion of isolation in a sea of mostly Imperial space. A highly-technologically advanced human society, the Olamic Quietude survived the Dark Age of Technology by uploading their minds as A.I. and resleeving them into robot bodies. New citizens of the Quietude are born by growing new brains and uploading them as soon as possible into mechanical bodies. The Adeptus Mechanicus hate the Quietude with a frothing vengeance, making A.I. is bad enough but actually becoming them is tech-heresy of the highest caliber. Others in the Mechanicus don’t just hate the Quietude for tech-heresy but because on some level the Quietude represent the logical extrapolation of Mechanicum ideals, replacing every part of the body with machinery, and it scares them.

The Imperium via the Vlka Fenryka tried to make peaceful contact with the Quietude during the Great Crusade. A society with that much Dark Age-era technology would be a huge boon to the Imperium. The Quietude attacked the contact team without provocation and vivisected the survivors. Seeing the state of the rest of the galaxy, particularly the near-absence of common Dark Age technology like A.I. (which made the Imperium seem downright backwards to the Quietude), the Quietude considered themselves the only true successors to the Great and Bountiful Human Dominion and the rest of humanity as nothing more than devolved savages.

Russ and Bjorn were quite angry. Russ in particular. He wanted to rain nuclear fire on them from orbit, smash their ships and pitch them into the nearest gravity well, topple their orbital dockyard and drop it on the capital city and hunt them down to the last man, take any sufficiently unaugmented women as war-brides and adopting any children and dependents. Yes he promised after the Scouring of Skand Wars that he and his people would never do this shit again and the tradition would be retired but he felt the Old Ways could be brought out again just for this one special occasion. They had insulted the Imperium, they had insulted his Legion and he had friends in the contact team and he knew that they died badly.

In the end the Steward managed to calm him down enough to call him off and the Olamic Quietude dodged a bullet. The Imperium would have won, in time, but the cost would have been astronomical. Despite being restricted to a handful of planets, of which only their frozen homeworld was inhabitable in the strictest sense of the world, the high tech base of the Quietude and their ability to restore from backup would mean it would cost numerous Imperial soldiers to permanently kill one Quietude one. It would have been a bloodbath, and would have been all for a world that had little to no strategic or resource value whatsoever. The Steward told Russ the next time the Quietude attacked the Wolves he would allow them no quarter.

As a result, the Imperium adopted a cold war quarantine policy towards the Olamic Quietude. Quietude ships in Imperial space are shot on sight as well as vice versa. Thankfully, although the Quietude had warp capability they weren't expansionist and didn't seem interested in expanding beyond the dozen or so nearest worlds to their frozen homeworld. The Quietude initially believed that the Imperium would implode. They weren't the first big interstellar empire that had arisen around them. All the others had died, this one would too. By the time it looked like they were here to stay it was far too late for the Quietude to be able to do anything about it and claim what they saw as their birthright. To the Imperium the Quietude were, and would continue to be, a problem for later. The problem is that unlike the Adeptus Mechanicus the Quietude have no prohibitions on inventing so their technology is constantly improving. Sooner or later, the Quietude is going to have to be dealt with, as eventually the force multiplication of Quietude technology is going to outweigh the Imperial advantage of numbers.

That said, the Quietude have their weaknesses, even if they don’t project them to outsiders. First, they get screwed over by catastrophes just as badly as the Imperium does. When the War of the Beast broke out, the Quietude were hit just as hard as the Imperium and as such were in not position to take advantage of the weakened state. The Harrowing screwed them over. The death screams of the possible Man of Gold screwed them over. The Black Crusades screw them over. Every time they get screwed over their technology get knocked back quite a bit and they have to rebuild, not enough that they lose all their gains but enough that they have yet to reach the critical tech-levels they need to go on the offensive. Half the time they engage in brushfire hostilities and posturing with the Imperium it’s to prevent the Imperium from figuring out this little fact and wiping them out while they are weak.

Additionally, because the Quietude are not reproducing like organic humans, their population is gradually getting whittled down by attrition and each citizen of the Quietude controls an increasing proportion of the Quietude’s power base and processing power. So while Quietude tech base is increasing their population drops. This means that while it is difficult to kill a Quietude soldier, as time goes on the permanent death of a soldier represents a bigger loss to the Quietude. The obvious solution to this from the Quietude’s standpoint would be to grow more people, but that would mean the already existing populace would have to give up some of their bandwidth and processing power due to the increased population, which they aren’t interested in.

Ten thousand years later between the 12th Black Crusade, the increase in hostilities with the Necron Star Empire, and the appearance of tyranids on the other end of the galaxy, the Olamic Quietude sees the strains on an overtaxed and attacked on all sides Imperium. Despite being damaged by the 12th Black Crusade themselves, they smell blood in the water and are mobilizing for war.

They have taken the ancient listening posts on the worlds at the border, killing the crews and exterminating the service towns that grew up around them. They are very much prepared to take as much as they can while the Imperium is distracted elsewhere. Their fleets are assembled, their soldiery constructed and trained and they are going to methodically and meticulously take and settle and turn to war world after world until they take Old Earth. What will life be like under the Olamic Quietude? Nobody will ever find out. They don't leave survivors. At least none that the Imperium can find. Baseline humans and any human not of their realm are seen as some sort of tribal barbarian or primitive lesser animal. They have made so far no distinction beyond civilian or soldier, adult or child.

Ljot's Landing is an inhabited world not very far from the Olamic Quietude exclusion zone. Very similar to the Quietude homeworld in that it's a half frozen semi-wasteland. And it is a Fenrisian Colony, with a chapter of its very own. The call has been put out. The Valkyries are rising, the Wolves are awakening and Bjorn is at long last going to be allowed to settle the long, long held and unfulfilled grudge.

They killed everyone, the men, the women, the children, making no distinction between combatant and non-combatant except for the way they killed them. The soldiers were killed where they stood with their strange weaponry, leaving eerie ashen sillhouetes wherever the Quietude's weapons hit home. What they did to the civilians was worse, taking what they wanted, the brains, the spines, sometimes the internal organs, and leaving the rest. Butchered bodies half-buried under snow littered the fields and streets, at first resembling the bodies of dead animals, except for the fact that their corpses were mostly drained of blood and their wounds were made with the precision of a surgeon instead of the tearing marks of an animal. Even if they did not have enhanced senses the Space Wolves could have smelled them, reeking with that stale, clinical odor from being treated with so much antiseptics and antimicrobials that the bodies would not decompose naturally for months and the carrion birds would not touch them.

No one in the Imperium knows why the Quietude are doing this. The leading suggestion is the Olamics are taking the brains, lobotomizing them, and incorporating them into their neural network as extra processors as a twisted form of mercantilism. Throughout the history of humanity and other species people have often sought to circumvent the overexplotation of local resources by stealing them from someone else. Only in this case the resource in question isn’t gold, or wood, or land, but bandwidth via brains. Others point out the Quietude could easily vat-grown brains if they wished. It's possible if the Quietude tried to grow more brains those brains would be by Quietude law considered citizens, and therefore must be treated as people and not resources. But by Quietude standards outsiders aren't people and thus there are no such restrictions. On the other hand, maybe there is something specific they want from these brains, perhaps using the memories to gather information on what the Imperium has been up to. Or, perhaps, the Quietude are having fun. They butchered the people of Ljot’s Landing because it upsets the Fenrisians and the Think Tank remembers how enjoyable it was to vivisect the members of Russ’ diplomatic team thousands of years prior.

The Emperor isn’t happy about the situation, but he realizes just as the Quietude do that the galaxy is due to erupt into all-out-war any day now. The Quietude have to be taken out of the way now rather than later when they could potentially cost the Imperium the war by taking advantage of their weakened state or divert resources better used elsewhere. So the Vlka Fenryka are given the go ahead to wipe them out. Bjorn’s response? “By Hal, it’s about time”.

== The Arkhan Confederacy ==

Arkhan is a planet whose greatest crime is being on the wrong side of history. A land of mini-mecha and aristocratic landowners, the Arkhan Confederacy declared their support for Vandire during the Imperial Civil War, in a sector that was deeply divided between Throne and Rebellion supporters. The inhabitants of Arkhan are known for their bitterness over the results of the Imperial Civil War, mostly because the surrounding planets never let them live it down. Even though in hindsight the more recent citizens of Arkhan agree with the general consensus that Vandire was a nut with good charisma, they still have grievances with what the pro-Thor planets did to them during the war, as well as the fact that the pro-Thor planets treated them like garbage afterwards. The area around Arkhan was home to some brutal fighting between Thor and Vandire loyalists, with both sides bombarding the others’ population centers from orbit. Sebastian Thor is not a popular figure on Arkhan.

Eventually this resentment reached a tipping point and in 861.M41 the planet rebelled. When the Imperium’s military response arrived four years later, they found the Arkhan Confederacy had been defeated by a counter-resistance of Imperium loyalists, who had overthrown the Arkhan Confederacy and established the more centralized Arkhan Dominion. The leader of the Dominion is a taskmaster, but he is also a devious, deeply unpleasant man. There are even whispers that he stoked the flames of resentment in order to seize power in the first place. He maintains order and keeps the planet politically stable, but many are worried his heavy-handed tactics are building more resentment and are likely to cause another rebellion. Unfortunately, Arkhan is a nowhere world out in the boondocks, and as long as people aren’t actively shooting at each other the Imperium is willing to begrudgingly look the other way.

From a meta perspective, the politics of the Arkhan system and the potential of stopping (or starting) another civil war are meant to be a plot hook for street level games (e.g., Dark Heresy).

== Monarchia and the Word Bearers ==

Because the Word Bearers don’t have any special connections to Colchis in this timeline, the primary base of operations for the modern chapter is actually Monarchia of all places. Monarchia was constructed by the primarch Lorgar as a planned settlement, a Katholian “city on a hill”. It was intended to be a peaceful place demonstrating the ideals of Katholianism and a place where people of all faiths could meet and discuss their beliefs, because Lorgar loved debate and syncreticism and interfaith dialogue, believing all reasonable religions to ultimately stem from a universal truth (even if he did keep trying to reinterpret and cram everything through his Katholian worldview, for example reconciling the existence of the eldar pantheon by claiming they were archangels sent by God to watch over the eldar in the same way that biblical angels were sent to Earth and that all reasonable non-idolatrous faiths had their ultimate origins in Quolious). When the Word Bearers split into chapters the eponymous chapter got Lorgar’s planned city as their base. Because the Steward wasn’t as offended by the idea of religious institutions in this timeline (as long as they weren’t worshipping Chaos or him), Roboute Guilliman was never ordered to burn Monarchia.

Unfortunately, the existence of Monarchia did offend the Taskmaster of Shaa-Dome, who considered the Katholians’ “city on a hill” to be blasphemy and the Katholians themselves to be idolaters raising temples to venerate “false gods” (i.e., any god that wasn’t his beloved waifu Slaanesh). This was some time after the Great Hunt or early Black Crusades, Lorgar may have still alive and the Imperium was somewhat reconquered after the Beast. The Taskmaster would have taken the system and desecrated it during some gathering of the Conclave or something similar, making a point to enjoy the ravaging of the beautiful central hive himself. The Taskmaster's restraint, vanishingly rare in all other Slaaneshi, ensured there was a small population of Monarchians that survived relatively unmolested as it was his intention that they carry forth word of the deeds they witnessed. Some effort might have been made to permanently taint the world and system, but when the Word Bearer descendants were ready to respond in force the Taskmaster promptly returned to the palace in the Eye, and let the stragglers leaving the afterparty face the vengeful Imperial guns.

Yeah, I can imagine the first sacking was some time after the Great Hunt or early black crusades, Lorgar may have still been alive (he lived to 1100) and the Imperium was somewhat reconquered after the Beast. The Taskmaster would have taken the system and desecrated it during some gathering of the Conclave or something similar, making a point to enjoy the ravaging of the beautiful central hive himself. The Taskmaster had every reason to make Slaanesh a hated foe of Imperial religion, their candlelight gods are useless but it lends towards the Prince of Pleasure's intention to become the subconscious archenemy of the Imperial couple. Provoking (raping and razing) the church(es) is an excellent way to be denounced extra hard as a god of sin. The Taskmaster's restraint, vanishingly rare in all other Slaaneshies, ensured there was a small population of Monarchians that survived relatively unmolested as it was his intention that they carry forth word of the deeds they witnessed. Some effort might have been made to permanently taint the world and system, but when the Word Bearer descendants were ready to respond in force the Taskmaster promptly returned to the palace in the Eye, and let the stragglers leaving the afterparty face the vengeful Imperial guns. The Taskmaster’s desecration of Monarchia was so thorough that the Word Bearers became a fleet-based chapter in the aftermath, as Monarchia could no longer support a fully-staffed Space Marine chapter.

For nearly fifty years the Word Bearers existed as a fleet based chapter, bringing the good news of civilization across the Imperium (as in, secular proselytizers in space). That stopped after the Battle of Neo-Babylon (or Bablyon II if a more sci-fi name is required). Neo-Babylon sent out a general call for aid against an invasion and the Word Bearers were one of the Astartes chapters that responded. [[Minotaurs|All 2,500 of them at once.]] The Word Bearers were commended for their aid but the Imperium was confused why the Word Bearers would drop everything and come to Bablyon II, not even leaving a token guard present at their homeworld. When the Imperium learned the truth they were floored. The destruction of Monarchia had slipped through the cracks of the Administratum and the Word Bearers had been too stoic and humble to make enough of a fuss. The news filtered its way up to the Master of the Administratum and the Steward, who order them to go back and rebuild Monarchia (providing funding to rebuild ostensibly as a reward for saving Neo-Babylon). Having a first founding chapter be effectively homeless is an embarrassment and unacceptable to the Imperium.

[[Rape|They finished rebuilding just in time for Arrotyr and the Scions of the Old Helm to show up.]] Arrotyr heard that the Taskmaster had sacked Monarchia in the name of Slaanesh and didn’t want anyone to get the idea that there's a Chaos God more important than THE BLOOD KING OF THE GALAXY. Though attacks on various other emblems of Imperial religions would be locally devastating at worst and hard fought defenses at very best, he eventually broke off, maybe having hounded the Word Bearers, maybe having mockingly avoided them in their exile from Monarchia. Then after its rebuilt and restored, bam, Arrotyr shows up to argue the merits of worshiping King Khorne with the rite of system wide bloodshed, fire, and war, because he's a colossal dick.

The Taskmaster would have actually moved on to other things. Always more ships to order built in Shaa-Dome, entreaties for the favor of princedom to screen, soulstones to grind up for master to snort, etc. so the Taskmaster had nearly forgotten about Monarchia in the first place but nobody, except possibly Be'lakor, holds on to a grudge or a perceived slight like Arrotyr.

Monarchia was rebuilt. Again. As of M41 Monarchia is a hive city now. A very large hive city. The first Monarchia was designed with all effort put into making it a nice place to live and defense as an afterthought. It was in its way an architectural marvel and in some distant possible future when war is just a memory it design choices would have been copied across the galaxy. But it was easily defeated.

New Monarchia was far more formidable and had elements taken from Perty's designs and innovations discovered since. Arrotyr had to work for it. New Monarchia was not as devastated as the first city was and there were enough survivors left to rebuild and legitimately claim continuity. 3rd Monarchia was rebuilt stronger again.

Only a fool would go to Monarchia now with hope of an easy victory. Lorgar was pleased with the results even if reaching them was a price he believed nobody should have to pay.

The surface of Monarchia outside of the primary hive is not as messed up as Armageddon or Cadia, not actually a deathworld, but scarred. It was visited millennia ago by the prime agents of two hostile gods, Slaanesh's majordomo and Khorne's foremost commander. Even without the massive occult power that implies either one could arguably be the most heavily armed (former) mortal in the galaxy, boasting personal command of forces only rivaled by the fleets and armies united in singular purpose under Oscar in acts as Warmaster. Both are known for massive gestures in their gods' names and the physical signs of these acts would be hard to cover, even long after any curses or horrible blessings are dispelled, the only thing being to let erosion and reforestation, flooding and tremors, slowly make it fade away.

== Terranis ==

In the original story Terranis survived, barely. I suggest we keep it like that. The 'Nids couldn't eat the planet because every time they got a digestion pool and giant drinking straw arrangement set up something unfortunate kept happening to it and the only way to stop that from happening was to exterminate the last of the Terranites, which was proving difficult in the extreme.

The rest of the Imperium just assumed that Terranis was dead. They lost contact with it 20 years ago and their only curiosity about the place was why the Shadow in the Warp was still there 20 years later, but unless they were prepared to travel to the edge of the Shadow and spend decades to centuries at sub-light trying to reach the planet they couldn't know. And they always had better stuff to divert those sorts of resources to. Sadly resource diversion and interstellar level triage was why Terranis was left for the 'Nids in the first place, Terranis was deemed an acceptable loss in the grand strategy. The Kriegers sticking around was them either not getting the orders, being used as a diversion or just being characteristically stubborn/uncooperative.

'Nids remain on Terranis and in Terranis orbit for the better part of 40 years before the Terranites and Krieger forces bleed them dry beyond the point where they can maintain the Shadow. Then the one remaining astropath on the planet sends out a brief report on the situation and the Imperial brass is absolutely fucking dumbfounded. That planet was written off as "unsalvageable" even with off-world help. It should not be alive. It shouldn't have been capable of resisting. They really shouldn't be getting any sort of report from the place. It sure as shit should not have been winning a game of attrition against the Dreaded Star Locust. But it is. A 'nid siege was a race against time based on how much materiel they had left versus how much biomass the 'nids had. You can only have so much explosives to blow up the drinking straws and you are essentially playing chicken as imagined by Dorn and Perturabo where either the hive ships starve to death or you run out of bombs. The Derivatives said 'fuck that' and improvised fresh explosives from tyranid bodily fluids. Some of those are pretty volatile, use the homebrew for the artillery and mines, use the vintage stock for the big shit like the capillary towers and dread the day when you have to try and make a 'nid snot bob big enough take one of those fucking things out. It won't let shit last indefinitely unless you can also make the artillery shell of out actual shells (maybe they can) but it could help you last a lot longer.

Which is not to say that the Terranians would have it their own way. The 'nids are nothing if not adaptive and although they can't stop making volatile mucus and still have useful weapons they wouldn't be limited to ripper variants. After the first few failed attempts to eat the bastion cities and the thining of the ground forces the Hive mind will either send down one or more Norn Queens to spawn an army locally to cut down on travel time and expending resources on space-to-ground pods or they are going to start spawning legitimate creatures rather than weapons. Shit with digestive systems and reproductive organs and the ability to survive for extended periods of time. This is also assuming that the Terranians absolutely salted all the earth everywhere when the planet became irretrievably tyrannoformed. Which they probably did quite effectively because when it comes to fucking up a planet down all the way back to pre-terraformed state whilst still living on it the Kriegers have prior experience. 'Nid fleet can't go because it'll starve to death in transit if it can't recover the expended bio-matter and it can't do that until the bio-matter stops planting IEDs on it's drinking straws and gets digested properly. Maybe if it hadn't been so effort/resource conservative when it first arrived shit would have gone down different but it had no way of knowing the tried and tested maximum efficiency method would be insufficient this time. It does highlight a rather funny weakness in the tyranids though. When the tyranids begin to digest the planet most of their biomass, including the warrior forms, is tied up in the digesting pools. The Hive Mind can't give commands to the pools like it can to the hive ships and bioforms so the ground is being held by a skeleton crew. In theory by this point all non-tyranid life on the planet is dead anyway so it doesn't matter. But if not...well you get Terranis, and all the Hive Mind can do to compensate is pupate new bioforms out of the rippers lying around. If it were a larger Hive Fleet that could spare more resources Terranis would have been in big trouble.

Imperium send in an Ordo Xenos team with Deathwatch accompanying them to confirm that this isn't a clever ruse. They find a planet knee deep in 'Nid chitin and the ground stained in xeno blood. It looks a bit like Cadia, a bit like Krieg and a lot like Hell on the day they couldn't get the fires to light. And amidst the carnage and corpse fields continents wide they find the bastion cities, Krieg away from Krieg. But also not Krieg. It's like Krieg but Krieg made human, humanity restored to the Kriegers. Everybody is masked and uniformed, and then you see this mini-kriegers giggling. All is dusty and gloomy but you hear music in the distance. And old and crippled Krieger that somehow has survived is telling tales about the wider Imperium. They are survivors that don´t lose the hope in the face of an unbeatable enemy. If people send to Krieg end depressed, in Terranis find what really means being an imperial citizen. They will never surrender, not even faced with the Armageddon, because they are the last light in the galaxy.
It's real fucking difficult to tell Kriegers from Terranites and among the mixed children, referred to by the old Kriegers as the Derivatives, the distinction is meaningless.

Most people will be a more than a little perplexed with the Derivations. Even kriegs will not understand what the fuck has happened. They have survived an impossible situation. Yeah, they seem like the standard Kriegers, but they are not. Remember that they don´t have vitae-wombs. They have families and a home that they love. Where the kriegers are a bunch of nihilistic fellows, these guys just plain and simple have adapted to a death world. They probably fight with tactical acumen as an attrition war against nids is a fucking nightmare. They hold the line an then return with their families. True, like the kriegers there aren´t civilians in their culture... but they have a culture, is only that theirs is extremely militarized, and that is not that rare in the ND galaxy. They have a lot in common with other deathworlders troops like the Catachans, that just plain simple have adapted. Esencially, a less sugary version of the guys from Love and Krieg.

For the old Inquisitor Kryptmann, on one hand he would really, really love them. Terranis derivations are absolutely fantastic: The devotion of the Kriegers. Tactical acumen. Better liked by the Ad-mech for not having to use Vitae-wombs. Probably partial immunity to nids toxins. Smell genestealers cults and probably know like a million recipes to eat them and cook them and turn them into weapons. They are the children that he never fathered. Probably Terranis is the only place in that he can feel like home. On the other hand, the idea of basically becoming the tyranids to defeat the tyranids would be disgusting and he would have a first hand look at the kind of arguments people are making in the Imperial Army that soldiers need to be more like Krieg. As proud as he is of his unfathered children he doesn't want to force others to become as shit as him.

For the first time since the Civil War there is internal dispute on Krieg. Are these Terranite people Kriegers now? Are their half-breed children? Are the old veterans who were born on Krieg still Kriegers? Are the old veterans renegades or are they some glimpse that salvation is possible? Is this the rain washing their sins away?

Kriegers don't have violent disputes among their own kind any more outside of practice wars. But they have also had no real differences of opinion since the end of the nuclear war either. The rest of the galaxy is in constant uncertainty but they have always prided themselves on being the immovable center of certainty. They have always been 100% sure on what they are, what everyone else is and on what to do about it. But now the generals can't agree on a subject despite all having all of the same available facts. It's hard to tell because the regiments continue to operate as freakishly well as always but the upper layers of the Stratocracy get really fucking nervous when you mention Terranis.
Of the planet Terranis itself in 999M41, the Imperial Army has arrived in force. They can spare the numbers now. The orbiting bioships were malnourished and weak and were cut down by the navy assets with little trouble and the ground forces are landing in the cleared areas and killing fields around the bastion cities. The standstill has tipped, the siege is lifted and across the planet the Tyrannids are being hunted down and hounded to their stinking holes and nests. Terranis is being cleansed and already the Administratum is drafting plans for it's rebuilding.

Terranis held.

Now that the 'nids danger has passed, The only true resource is a lot of experienced badass soldiers. So they, like Catachans fight because his people back home need the resources. It's only been 30 years so most of the more durable and non-organic shit from their old civilization will be left behind. They can salvage to get a boost with the whole rebuilding society thing for short term gains but the planet is going to need the attention of the AdBio for terraforming work. Thankfully it still has a breathable atmosphere so there must be enough normal biological action in the sea and soil at the microscopic level to sustain it. Maybe it won't take that long. Give it 30 years and the toxins will have broken down and planting of plants to see what will grow and what won't can start. 30 years after that and the background radiation will be getting low enough across the least nuked areas to be considered "almost safe". 30 years after that and it will only be the worst salted areas that are no-go.

In 200 years Terranius could be a Civilized/Agri-world with good martial traditions. Not long after that and they can be paying full tithe rates.

=== Terranis and the Hrud ===
The inhabitants of Terranis are less xenophobic than the Kriegers, largely due to the actions of the Hrud.

The Hrud were a godsend on Terranis once the siege begins, because they essentially granted the human populations immunity to Tyranid infiltration. Hrud are quite defensive of their homes, and even if they are able to slip around any tyranid organism through their spacial folding the Hive Fleet takes the air and water and everything else living when they leave a planet and Hrud need to breathe same as everyone else. Hrud are also very good at sniffing out Genestealer cults, with many of their seemingly random killing sprees being revealed to be eradication of a genestealer presence, which on a world where the Hive is getting desperate because the usual maximum-efficiency tactics aren't working would start seeking alternate means of disrupting the local defenses.

Once, at the beginning, the defenders were angry and on edge whenever the Hrud would suddenly and violently pulp a seemingly random person on the spot. Then they started getting the reports of outposts devastated by someone seemingly going rogue, of genestealers passing as human long enough to weaken defensive lines right before a Tyranid attack, and of parasite forms that would latch on to a host without them ever knowing, showing no signs before they spontaneously erupted with dozens of tiny chittering lifeforms eating their way out from inside the unsuspecting host.

The Hrud have learned since then too. Rather than the immediate violence towards the affected, they just glide into the mess hall or the barracks and gently tap the unfortunate soul on the shoulder, and the message is clear. They whisper quiet goodbyes and distribute their gear, then stand up and leave with the Hrud, the rest of their gear being returned for sanitation later.

Their bodies cannot be recycled into food for their remaining fellows- Untainted organic matter is at a premium, but they are no longer untainted. Instead, their biomass is used to make Saltpeter and bait for traps against the roaming hunters, a primitive system that nevertheless allows them to aid their comrades one last time, screaming defiance against the tide of flesh from beyond the grave in one last brilliant flash of fire and force and spite, a gout of light against the darkness before fading to ash and smoke that are useless to the all-consuming foe.

As a rule, the Hrud aren't reliable. However, Terranis is possibly the only instance in which they make an exception to that rule. They're not workers, of course, they're not helping maintain the equipment and by and large they're still oily and evasive as all hell to the point where even vague estimates of the local numbers are impossible to form. The caveat is that any Hrud's number-one priority is the survival of the Hrud, and when faced with tyranid Armageddon, the survival of the Hrud is directly linked to the survival of the human populace.

It's not that the Hrud aren't useful, it's that they aren't reliable workers. They don't keep timetables, they kind of follow orders but their attention span is not brilliant and the only ones who they make any effort to cooperate are the tribal elders of their kind. The elders can ensure that there is one obedient hrud at the checkpoints and gatehouses at all times but they can't guarantee that it's the same one so you're constantly having to train new staff. Also the space folding thing they do is unnerving as balls to watch and they are secretive little bastards by nature. People also used to complain that they never took the hoods off to be identified but then one day after much asking one did and it was a fucking horrifying cross between a xenomorph and a cockroach. After that people stopped asking them for facial identification. Not that identifying them is needed to ensure that they aren't tainted, the hrud are if anything more thorough about purging hrud genestealers than human ones.

They can't get ordered out on scouting missions, but they still show up and warn about incoming Tyranid waves. They can't be ordered to man the checkpoints, but they tend to hang out by them anyways, sometimes only revealing their presence when they detect an infiltrator. They are not organized beyond the loosest interpretations of the word, but they are creatures inclined to flight before fight who have nowhere to run, and that desperation if nothing else leads them to be more helpful than their kind usually are.

Also the fact that everybody is wearing gasmasks all the time helps mitigate the ssaak; doesn't stop it completely, since it's not entirely physical, but does enough to slow it down that the normal rotations of the garrison keep most of the troops from suffering more than minor side-effects.

Also they steal unattended things. Not anything of real value but they are a nuisance.

The Terranites still have no idea exactly how many Hrud are on Terranis beyond "more than we thought". Before the war they thought there weren't any so that's not very helpful.

In a way, the fact that the Hrud are so repulsive and reviled makes the fact that the Terranites are practically cordial with them an even greater source of discord for the pure Kriegers. It's not just any filthy xenos that they're accepting of, but the one considered more pest than people by the majority of people in the Imperium.

As for the Terranites, anyone who survived the Hive Fleet by their side is all right by them, and the fact that the Hrud would bring them information that normally would have cost them precious lives and kept their strongholds secure goes a long ways towards fostering good sentiments. They're all brothers and sisters of the muck and filth, after all, and the tunnels that became many of their bases of operations were once the Hrud's homes.

More interesting is how the Hrud of Terranis were affected, and how the rest of the Hrud would see them. The hrud see themselves as a collective, with no social divisions between them, but the Hrud from Terranis are putting this ideas to the test as much as the Derivatives are for Krieger philosophy. The rest of the galaxy might not notice the difference, but to the rest of the Hrud the Terranis stock probably seem reckless and borderline suicidal.

==Aloh'Eur'ii==

A.k.a., the Tau colony world in Nemesor Zahndrekh's Gidrim Dynasty.

The Tau Empire and Aloh'Eur'ii have been intentionally kept unaware of each other by the Imperial Ambassador and her team for the simple reason that nobody would be happy if they found out. The Tau Empire would not gain anything from laying claim to them beyond mild expense re-uplifiting them. The Yokel-Tau would not survive as a culture and would not be happy under The Empire having grown in a completely different direction and the Nemensor wouldn't be happy if someone tried to take his least shit planet from him because of he offered a safe haven to a bunch of primitives and the primitives won't leave a planet they have invested so much time and effort into working.
What we do know:
* That they are the descendants of early colonists in one of the lost colony ships and as they have been separated from the Tau Empire since then they have not benefited from any new technological developments and are still using tech not too far advanced from 20th century Earth, bar recently imported toys.
*Their world was described as the more habitable of the two inhabitable worlds in the Nemesor's Estate but that's not a great achievement as the other one is very borderline.
* They have abandoned the caste system due to the limited gene-pool and have interbred to the point were they wouldn't easily fit into the modern caste system.
* The Nemensor occasionally visits them in an official capacity to remind them that he still exists and this is still actually his planet. They pay some minimal and mostly symbolic tribute as they don't have anything particularly valuable.
*They aren't aware of anything in the Tau Empire since the date they lost contact with it and the Tau Empire is totally unaware of their existence and considers the lost colony ship ancient history long since dead and buried.

Aloh'Eur'ii (which means "cold wind, bitter tears" in Tau) is an ancient Necrontyr world, and given how close it is to Zahndrekh's home it must have been at least sparsely populated as it does have an atmosphere, then it would have been a potential target for Old One and their servants to attack. Also Zahndrekh never set up his home there so that would imply that it was never a particularly nice place even before the Old Ones wrecked it and as the Necrontyr had a high discomfort threshold then it must have been really shit. Gidrim by contrast might have been pretty verdant before the War in Heaven broke it and the subsequent ~65,000,000 years of neglect.

And it is barely inhabitable for Tau who are native to a slightly arid but warm planet. To this end I'm going to suggest that the planet is shit because it looks like the arse end of Antarctica. It's cold and wet and for an added bonus the ozone layer is a bad joke. There is life on the surface, the flora caps out at a bit of hardy moss and the most exciting fauna is a beetle looking thing the size of a human thumbnail that moves very slowly and eats moss. There is also a bit of pink algae in the ice and a type of worm that very slowly corkscrews through the ice.

The sea is a little more interesting. There are crabs and snails and other invertebrate life but nothing as complex as a real fish. The local Tau eat mostly the kelp and seaweed and reserve snail and crab for special occasions. Thankfully the snail-like creatures grow big enough and have enough fiber material in them that their skin can be used for making clothing out of and they typically have enough fat and oil content that they can make fire from them with a bit of effort. One of the things Nemensor Zahndrekh donated to them out of charity was fresh, warm insulation cloth thus instantly gaining their trust.

The planet has no axial tilt or moon so there is no tide or seasons. One day is much like another; shit. The hydro system is minimal and most of the fresh water is holed up in ice caps at the unnecessarily large poles
The life forms on Aloh'Eur'ii seem to be derived from two prior existing ecosystems that have either evolved in total isolation from each other or many species have been imported from elsewhere after the initial terraforming work was done. Many of the lifeforms have genetic markers consistent with life found on other old Necrontyr worlds but the others show resemblance to Tarellians. It can be assumed that either the Necrontyr took and inhabited a former Old One colony or simple cross contamination occurred accidentally. After so many eons without record it's now impossible to know.

The Tau are better off now than they were. When Nemensor Zahndrekh found them they were still living in the disassembled remains of their original colony ship with a few outbuildings and extensions made of local stone, using technology they couldn't reproduce or replace, gradually dwindling away. Nemensor Zahndrekh did offer them far more than they would take, they had their pride and didn't know him yet. Indeed their ancestors set out from the homeworld before the Tau had made first contact so the notion of alien intelligence was still pretty world shaking.

As it stands now the Tau have the ability to replace most of the tech that they are using, very slowly and carefully. They have mines and a few workshops and processors. Their population is on the increase and they have several satellite settlements, each as bleak seeming as the original landing site. Sometimes they will wonder about the old homeworld their ancestors set out from but it is a distant event, many generations removed from living memory or relevance.

Of the Tau themselves they are physically distinct from the main branch Tau lines. They hail from a time when the differences between the castes was not yet as physically noticeable due to centuries of gentle eugenics. The original colony expedition contained mostly Earth Caste as the colony was supposed to be set up, become self sufficient quickly and wait several years at least for the next wave of settlers to arrive as this was in the early days of Tau interstellar travel. Nevertheless, there was a triumvirate of Ethereals, their Water Caste scribes and administrators, a few Air Caste messengers and pilots as well as a detachment of Fire Caste enforcers. The presence of the Fire Caste being in the event of social breakdown caused by extreme conditions on the intended target planet rather than as a deterrent to pirates or raiders, sapient aliens still being a theoretical possibility rather than an accepted part of life at this stage of Tau history.

In appearance the Tau of Aloh'Eur'ii mostly resemble Earth Caste with broader feet, more prominent cheekbones, a generally broader build and slightly stubbier fingers. It is unknown if this is a direct multi-generations long adaptation to the constant cold or if it is just a fortuitous result of the various breeds of that species mingling into a new form.

Society is built around resource conservation, thrift and sustainable long term planning using principles set out by the original triumvirate for the simple and inescapable reason that anything else would have gotten them all killed centuries ago. Life is short and hard which is a good way of describing the people that have had to adopt it. Although in some ways the comparison is not apt, life is also harsh and unforgiving which is an unfair comparison with the Tau of Aloh'Eur'ii as since the arrival of the Nemensor they have been very welcoming of outsiders, if nothing else it broke the sense of utter isolation they were feeling.

The capital "city" of Aloh'Eur'ii now that it is not alone as a settlement has been named Sho'aun'or'es as it can either mean the heat of a reactor or can be used to mean general sources of power. Either direct translation works as it is both the source of planetary authority and the city and especially the dwelling places are all huddled around the ancient colony ship's reactor for warmth.

==Cherys==

After the Dark Wedding the Dark Eldar were not the only ones who made an exodus from Commorragh. Before the Dark Wedding Commorragh, specifically Null City, was a mecca for all sorts of ne’er-do-wells unwelcome in the Imperium for their criminal behavior yet with enough common sense to avoid buying into the brain-rotting madness of Chaos, ranging from enterprising Slaugth to human pirates to rogue non-Dark Eldar corsairs to Sslyth mercenaries. Those who were satisfied with “mundane” crimes like piracy, slavery, and trading in illicit goods and doing whatever they wanted rather than the insane fanaticism and cultish behavior of Chaos, much like the Dark Eldar (who do commit depravities for depravity’s sake, but because they want to rather than to impress some gods). Null City is still home to significant populations of xenos pirates and mercenaries, but quite a few of those that could leave jumped ship or tried to find a new place to ply their wares having seen Vect’s marriage to Malys as a portent of things to come. In the immediate aftermath of the Dark Wedding in addition to the Dark Eldar refugees who thought it better to throw themselves on the mercy of the Craftworlders than let Malys drag them into hell the Imperium also had to deal with a sudden influx of pirates and vagabonds trying to carve out their own little hideaways in the galaxy now that their old port of call was no longer “safe”.

One such case was the world of Cherys. Cherys was a world that was cut off from the rest of the galaxy for nearly 500 years by bad warp storms. Only the really old humans and some of the eldar even remember when they were actually part of the Imperium. System is not that bad, plenty of mineral wealth on the moons and asteroids. By some quirk there are no solid planets as such, just 8 gas giants ranging in size from one of them being a brown dwarf and the smallest about the size of Neptune. Imperium was going to colonize the shit out of the place because there are a dozen moons about the size of Earth with lots of water ice. Therefore great for colonizing. Set the place up as an industrial and bread basket hub and use it to send out hundreds of on-site built colony ships into the rest of the unclaimed sector, in the following 1,000 years they were hoping to set up hundreds of colonies and eventually have it become an entirely new sector (uplifting and/or offering the hand of friendship to any civilized being that the encounter in the process).

They got as far as building a Ramilies-class Starfort with the great distinction of it actually having been designed by Architect-Supreme Ramilies of the Ad-Mech. Then the warp went funny. Not funny enough to actually break through into real space but it was close and it kept ships away for 500 years.

A few years ago the weather improved and people started to say things like "remember that starfort we built? I wonder if it's still intact?"

Starfort is intact, it's also still inhabited. If it had been managed properly the whole system would be a small legitimate civilization all abustle with activity, industry and getting shit done. As it is it's a starfort that's kind of only half inhabitable and a few outposts on the moons an asteroids that support it, barely.
Law and order broke down more or less immediately once it was isolated because the commander was stricken with a terminal case of what the medicae would call “idiocy” and nobody since has been able to get the gangs to work together or even just stop shooting at each other for more than a few hours at a time.

Then a band of Sslyth arrive from Commorragh pretty much as soon as the warp was safe to travel, they didn't risk taking the webway as they didn't leave the City of Sins on good terms. The original plan of just enslaving them all and forcing their way to power go out the window when it turns out the station has been horribly mismanaged and the residents are desperate for somebody with an actual brain take charge. The Sslyth manage to take over the last pockets of resistance about three months before an Imperial expeditionary fleet slid up along side it with proper military escort. They are going to salvage the original plan of pushing back the border and for that they need the station up and running. The scribes are all over the place talking to the locals about the last half a millennium and the Sslyth are freaking the fuck out because they are pretty sure that they saw a Battle Barge with the heraldry of the War Hounds on it and they are pretty sure they are on the "shoot on sight" category.

The Administratum adepts do eventually find them. They congratulate them on getting the place into some semblance of order, tell them that they will push the paperwork through to have them be the official civilian governing body for the system and ask them to give their regards to the rest of the Diasporex next time they come round this way. Sslyth end up slightly more confused than ever but nobody is shooting them and this is a deal they can live with.

The Sslyth are better rulers than you'd expect from Commorrites, but "better behaviour than the Dark City" is a pretty low bar to set, and this is on the fringes of the Imperium in the first place, so it's not exactly in the spotlight. Even official Imperial posts can be shady as fuck sometimes, just as long as it's within the Imperium's tolerance levels (no Chaos, no blood-sacrifices, keep your criminality deniable, ect.) and this would be on the lower end of that- on the surface. The Ssylth are still absolutely reprehensible by modern moral standards, but to the Imperium they're practically upstanding citizens, especially considering their past and current circumstances. There's still gang wars over territory, gun-trafficking, and all sorts of bad stuff going on in the station, it's just that it's basically "normal" crimes for the Imperium, rather than the balls-to-the-wall edgy shit of Commorragh.

To put it another way- the port is (unofficially) open to pirate vessels, but it is also open to Imperial vessels. Including Imperial warships that may happen to be in the area on anti-piracy patrols. In which case they're not going to leave their buddies out in the cold, they might not be able to save their ship and the poor sods still on it, but they'll cover for the crew who were still on station and put them up until the next ship comes along. Just need to get you putting on a show for the inspectors doing this little job over here, we'll even set you up for pay to make it convincing... and then two months later that crew has fallen into the exact same trap of getting comfortable with having regular meals, cleaning facilities, and an actual bed and the ones who haven't fallen for it and would cause trouble for the rest have wound up in one of the back-corridors of the station where the power isn't consistent with several stab-wounds in the back. And of course, if the Imperial officials happen to ask where any pirate vessels may have been headed when they stopped in...

Basically, they're in what feels like a mini-Commorragh, only with Inquisition and Imperial Navy instead of Vect and pirates instead of the various Dark-Eldar factions. The biggest difference is now they've actually got money in their pockets and reliable resources to use and sometimes the residents thank them and smile in ways that give them funny feelings in their chests that they don't understand.

It should be noted, this is not some grand master-plan of theirs. They've always been regarded as a bit of a doofus-crew by their compatriots, and have spent this entire time feeling like they're in way over their heads and just reacting to the latest "OH SHIT FUCK AHHH" thing that's landed on their doorstep. They're not stupid by any means, and they wouldn't have made it this long or been this successful if they were- if nothing else, they're excellent at problem-solving on the fly. It's just that they've got almost Ciaphas Cain-tier luck and a bad habit of being unwilling to give up whatever they've managed to get.

Case in point, their stance on slaving. These Ssylth don't engage in the slave trade and tend to crack down on it harshly and bloodily. It's not a matter of approval, they started out in the Dark City after all, it's their possessiveness kicking in. Any slave-trade on the station is dealing with Station-dwellers, and the station-dwellers belong to THEM, so taking them as slaves is basically stealing the Ssylth's shit. And no self-respecting Commorrite is going to tolerate anybody stealing their shit. Of course, this gets misinterpreted as them having a moralistic line they won't cross, so once again the whole situation is screwing them over.

When it comes down to it, they always side with the Imperium over their fellow pirates, but that's less loyalty and more a combination of "the Imperium's the one making this so profitable" and "[[Dakka|Oh fuck they have so many guns we are not picking that fight]]." They are still pirates at heart at least that's what they keep telling themselves.

For that matter, the starport itself isn't the luckiest of places; aside from the whole "getting lost due to warp shenanigans," there's how everything collapsed because somehow an idiot was running the show when things went to hell, plus how things kept going wrong during construction with corridors not lining up correctly and prefabbed pieces somehow completely failing to fit together right. Nothing Warp-tainted, thankfully (the Imperium checked- thoroughly- when these issues kept popping up) but the end result of basically kitbashing stuff together and twisting corridor connections to get stuff to fit together meant that the general construction of the place, while static and thus given clearly-marked maps, is still an absolute nightmare to try and navigate through, especially for people who are used to the more organized overflow of most human constructions, where they started out orderly and then became a mess because of the bloat of too much stuff. This station was built messy from the start due to stuff just going wrong in the most annoying way possible.

There's rumors of a shrine to Murphy on the station. Nobody knows where or if it was there from the start, or got erected by somebody asking for mercy during construction or the period when the station was lost. They just know that attempting to get rid of it ends badly, and praying/making offerings is just asking for trouble.

Whether the shrine actually exists or not is ambiguous, but ultimately it does not matter whether it is real. It is equally as plausible that the shrine doesn't exist, but that people on the station are willing to believe it does because it would give an explanation for why things keep going sideways at Cherys. Then there's the possibility of it being a chicken-and-egg scenario; is the prevalence of things going wrong a result of the shrine, or is the shrine a result of all the bad luck that manifests on the station? Ultimately it's all academic, because the takeaway is always that the station seems to be a magnet for mishaps.

The more interesting case for the existence of the shrine is that, while the station is a magnet for mishaps, it's not necessarily a magnet for misfortune. Your plan is going to crumble to pieces, but there always seems to be opportunity mixed in. The Ssylth's plight is the perfect example of this; from their viewpoint, things have been going wrong and stayed going wrong ever since they arrived- or before, since they only found the station in the first place because their navigation got shot to hell while fleeing the Dark City and forced them to make a blind jump into the void. Despite that, they're better off than when they arrived, with steady income, positions of power, followers who would die for them, and even friends and allies. And all of this was not because they sought it out, but because every time things went FUBAR the solution to the problems would end up giving them good things on top of the even bigger problems it came with.

There's at least a couple of the Ssylth who are so adamant about still being mercenaries and bad people because they're terrified that if they admit what they've become and try to actually pursue their new purpose, the effect will reverse and they'll end up actually having to go back to being pirates.

Life on the port is... interesting. The Murphy-effect doesn't just affect the sneks, though they certainly seem to have gotten hit by it harder than most.
At this point, it's somewhat normal for the residents, who don't really see anything too weird about it, and an outsider looking in wouldn't notice anything too glaring at first. Then they get to one of the station's worksites and find people with five different wrong types of connector that the workers go through until one of them inexplicably fits, backup tools are stashed in every crevice, and a normally-minor discrepancy with the power intake leading to everybody leaving the floor, seconds before the power-surge the discrepancy heralded wreaks havoc on the floor.

In other words, they've grown very good at anticipating unexpected dangers and working with the wrong materials. When they're off the station and out in the rest of the Imperium, this can come off as paranoia and obsessive-compulsive behavior, but on-station it's all completely justified.

As for Rogue Traders, of course they stop by, and several of them leave with hulls full of riches or powerful new crew-members or the like. This is because to them, the station is basically like a casino; Try your luck and see if you make it big! There's potential for profit here, a land of opportunity, but only if you're lucky enough!
Some of them find that fortune in ways that basically screw them out of being Rogue Traders, others just get screwed, but they keep coming because they hear about the ones who came out better for it, and ignore the bit about how customer satisfaction is universally shit.

The station is a lot cleaner than you'd expect something getting run by the Ssylth to be. There's a number of reasons for this: First and foremost, the Imperium is not stupid and has ambitions for the area, so if the Ssylth had acted like typical Ssylth, they'd have gotten Blammed and replaced by either a Space Marine chapter or somebody more official. This band of Ssylth are well aware of this, and considering they're a bunch of dregs from barely-relevant houses, they'd be mincemeat against a Space Marine squad. Thus, they are very eager to not give the big bad Imperium a reason to come after them. This doesn't mean they avoid their standard shady shit, but they let it come to them rather than seeking it out, and keep it as quiet as they possibly can.

To give perspective, the main source of income, and the only thing they really had in place when the Imperium showed up, was the legitimate resource-harvesting the station was built for. True, they'd originally been intending the resources for building ships for themselves, but they've given up on that thanks to the dollar-signs the Imperium pays for it.

This pretty much characterizes the struggle these Ssylth have been going through; they set out to do something properly Ssylth-y, and then something screws it up so hard they end up looking like the good guys. Big pirate captain stops in to sell his booty? An argument springs up that ends with your blade in his neck right as an Imperial warfleet shows up, and you end up getting praised and collecting the bounty on his head. Slavers show up with fresh labor? Somehow you getting lost in the corridors with them gets interpreted as a liberation attempt, with one of the slaves happens to be a somewhat important person whose associates pay a good sum and offer a trade deal in thanks for his return.

Basically, they're villains going through a mid-life crisis of suddenly having 401ks and a business to run and suddenly being responsible adults rather than the freebooting teenagers they used to be. The scary part (for them) is that they've actually gotten comfortable with their new situation, even if they'll never admit it. They're still ready and eager for fights, and their first question on running into a problem is "can we stab it away?," but the number of times where they decide the answer is "yes" has been declining.

Some in the Imperium, particularly the Inquisition, have figured out the truth behind the Sslyth on Cherys. The general reaction to said discovery is apathy. The Imperium doesn't care who is running the planet as long as the population is revolting, they aren't Chaos/genestealer corrupted, and they pay the tithe. Indeed for the Imperium, it's something of a social experiment; eventually the point is going to come where the Ssylth have an opportunity and either take it and resort back to their old ways- in which case there's a contingent of War Hounds within the galactic area, cleaning up the mess will be relatively easy - or stick to their guns and continue on the course they're going down, in which case it will be an example of why the civilized Imperial method is the correct approach to the world, or something like that. Basically proof that redemption is possible if you choose to pursue it.

The rulers of Cherys are known as Aesymnetes. The Aesymnetes are elected tyrants as decided by the voters, though only certain people are allowed the right to vote. The members of the gangs that sided with the Sslyth in their hostile takeover all were given the privilege and many have earned it since. If you want to be able to vote you have to do something to benefit the station (and therefore the Sslyth). Those that can vote feel that their voices actually mean something and they have a stake in the station and it's well being, a stake that they will fight for. The non-voters typically also wish that they could vote and the ones with some get up and go will get up and earn it with service to the station, those that won't don't deserve it and probably aren't worth worrying about. The system is also completely rigged and there's a glass ceiling non-Sslyth can't get past. Sslyth didn't escape one master to becomes servants to someone else. They only have the vote because it makes people the illusion that their leaders rule with the consent of the masses as there aren’t enough Sslyth to forcibly impose law.

Three Sslyth in particular are currently in charge. Not coincidentally, these were the three Sslyth who managed to organize the ragtag bunch of people who originally decided to set out from Commorragh. Laerhi is smart and quick-thinking, having the most common sense and good at figuring out risk management- namely, how to avoid risks when possible and saddle somebody else with them when not. M'hoh is practically a savant when it came to planning and keeping complicated systems running- with the downside of being prone to overly-elaborate plans that nobody else could keep up with. Caer-Li is the "muscle" of the leaders, but while dumb by comparison, was charismatic enough to get others to go along with him, and thus was the one they tended to need to get their fractured band to cooperate with their latest escapade.

The Dark Eldar attempted to raid Cherys once. Emphasis on attempted. The Kabal was one the Sslyth knew, either having once worked for them or having fought them as mercenaries for another Kabal at some point. The Sneks worked for these "people" for a very long time. Knowing how they think and predicting their behaviour was a survival trait. The Dark Eldar come in expecting to encounter a lower end PDF. They leave the system with substantial losses and nothing to show for those losses, they return to their homes humiliated. The real kicker? They never even knew that the Ssylth were there. The outpost they went after had one Ssylth who never left any survivors to report back what they had seen.

This wasn't the first time that the Dark Eldar had gone on easy raids to Cherys in the 500 years of isolation. The place was practically a free range human farm crossed with a pick-and-mix. They haven't been back since as their reckoning of profit to loss no longer stack up favourably and there are softer targets elsewhere.

The Sslyth were still praised for it. If it wasn't for their take over security would have consisted of poorly trained gangs running protection rackets. Since moving in the Ssylth broke the gangs up, gave some of them some degree of training who then trained others, formed them up into mixed squads, shored up defences and generally got them to take their jobs seriously. When the Imperium came calling they provided them with new las-rifles to replace or augment the supplies of 500 year old hand me downs and improvised home made shit and gave them some flack jackets and other really basic gear.

None of this would have happened if the Ssylth hadn't arrived, beaten everyone into shape and eaten the worst objectors.

Also Sekropss was especially well praised or leading the defences and turning the raid inside out. Sekropss is an extremely clever bastard. That wasn't even his real job, he was just keeping the seat warm for someone who was moulting, his actual job is trying to create a judiciary and the rules for a constabulary system from whole cloth.

==Kiavahr==

Megacorp hell. A planet entirely ruled by megacorps and other corporations, like a planet of maximum [[Shadowrun]]. At some point in time [[Nobledark_Imperium_Primarchs#Corvus_Corax|Corvus Corax]] and the [[Raven Guard]] applied a metaphorical spanking to their leadership to get them to rein in their more heinous and inhumane practices.<br>

Raven Guard, when they first landed under the command of former downtrodden peasant Corvus, went absolutely ape shit about the place due to the conditions of the average pleb and the utter disregard those higher up the food chain had for them. They were seen as an exploitable, expendable and totally renewable resource and were therefore totally disposable once they had expended their usefulness.

Kiavahr was not yet contacted by Mars and so was not under the aegis of Mars. Corax gave them the opportunity and suggestion to amend their behaviour but the lords of Kiavahr laughed at his offer. Theirs was a prosperous system that had done well for itself in the anarchy of the Age of Strife and would be a valuable addition to the Imperium. It's carry on just fine how it was and Corax could deal with it. The lives of a few peasants and slum dwellers was worth by any measure what they were offering the Imperium. Corax, as soldier man of peasant stock, obviously wouldn't understand what it was to lead a functioning society to prosperity and should leave things beyond him to those better suited to the task.

At that point the lights started going out and shit started exploding.

The suggestions were made again to the surviving spire lords and the hastily elected new branch of CEO's in the same calm voice. This time they did not mistake his calm for meaning that he wasn't planning on killing them all on the basis that he'd eventually find a crop of lords more reasonable to his demands.

Kiavahr as it stands since then is still mega-corp hell with such government as exists composed of the heads of the biggest corps, but it's not as bad to live in. This isn't because the heads of the mega-corps are actually any nicer, it's because the Raven Guard set up shop on the moon of Deliverance in the old and exhausted mining tunnels. There are no slums on Kiavahr, the Tenements are about as far down as you can officially sink and although the tenements are not what you'd call pleasant you can live in them.

Tenement dwellings typically consist of a large sturdily built, but ugly, structure like a square colosseum but far larger. Tiered galleries of one room dwellings that can hold maybe four "comfortably" and six cramped. Communal toilets and wash houses are on every tier and are shared by the people living on that tier. There is a large communal kitchen and dining area in the centre on the ground floor.

Ground floor also contains a doctor's office and basic surgery, some shops for basic essentials, laundry and other such things.

This is where you end up when all else fails or you want to save money by living very basically. Because of the nature of Kiavahr society there are a lot more low end workers than any other group by a very great margin and the majority of the population (tens if not hundreds of billions) live in similar conditions.

Due to the Raven Guard recruiting from all strata of society weight of numbers demands that the overwhelming majority of the chapter were raised in these vast habitation structures and many still have family there. To this end the chapter acts, as well as an elite branch of the local Imperial Guard, as watchdogs for the poor.

Biggest complaint about Kiavahr for the lower classes is that the place is bleak and boring in the extreme.

Businesses can engage in all backstabbery and shitty underhanded behaviour they want, but if the peasantry get targeted by the nobility the nobility become a training exercise.

'''The Harlequin of Kiavahr'''<br>
Deep in the underhives of Kiavahr there is a lone [[Harlequin]]. They have been down there quite some time and claim to have been forgotten there many years ago by the other members of their troupe. They claim to be stranded on Kiavahr, Kiavahr’s Webway gate is off-planet and they do not have the money to book passage on a spaceship.

To this end they are well known among the inhabitants of the underhives, always looking for people to help out with a job often of semi-legal nature, and by proxy finally earn them the money to get off Kiavahr. People in the underhives are always on the lookout for a well-paying job, especially in the megacorp hell that is Kiavahr. The Harlequin’s story is highly suspicious which sets off the well-honed sense of paranoia most gangers have, but they pay well. However, people can’t help but notice that most of these schemes in the long run seem to end up with most of the megacorps at each other’s throats and the worst of them gutted and have their dirty secrets dragged into the light.

In reality, the Harlequin of Kiavahr is a plant by Cegorach, to keep the megacorps of Kiavahr honest and feuding among themselves. The Harlequin could actually leave Kiavahr anytime they wanted, the tale of them being stranded is just their cover story. There is even the possibility that the individual changes from time to time but the role remains. The show must go on, after all.

==Vordic-Taal (possibly needs new name)==

There were many different religions on Carlos McConnell at the time of its discovery, but the most popular was some kind of ancestor worship, usually a form of syncretic paganism that picked and chose the best gods to worship out of whatever sounded interesting. One of the most popular was Camazotz, the goddess of warfare and the hunt (kind of like a mix between Bast and a Mesoamerican jaguar god) due to her portfolio’s universal appeal among the felinids. Camazotz worship is all about taking pride in your abilities and the nature of the hunt, honing your skills to a razor’s edge so you can be the best hunter you can be.

Following the arrival of Rogue Trader Carlos McConnell to the planet and the uplift of the People of the Islands from medieval to modern technological levels, Camazotz worship mostly declined in popularity but never completely went away, remaining popular among soldiers, law officers, and fishermen in particular. And, of course, the Continental Tribes, who retained more of their hunter-gatherer lifestyle, still worship Camazotz fervently.

If you're thinking "this sounds an awful lot like Slaanesh worship", you'd be half right. Camazotz worship also involves a significant degree of self-restraint (often deliberately), never killing more than is needed, respecting the prey for its sacrifice, and giving up the best cuts of the prey for the good of all, something that would sound ludicrous to any excess-craving Slaaneshi. Camazotz is your stereotypical hunter god that in folklore shows up to kick the crap out of hunters that kill for pleasure alone and don't respect their prey. However, this does not mean the worship of one cannot be easily subsituted for the other.

One of the earliest attempts at setting up a felinid colony by Carlos McConnell was the Vorlic sytem, a primising system containing five potentially life supporting moons and one dead one. The Carlos McConnell corporation bankrolled the initial colonization effort but had almost no involvement in setting up the colony. They wanted self-sufficient colonies to ensure the felinids weren’t wiped out, but they didn’t want a bunch of worlds that needed the backing of the Rogue Trader group to get anything done (or worse, be a drain on their resources).

Almost immediately, things began going wrong. The felinids on the colonies began behaving increasingly aggressive, almost feral. Eventually, the five colonies declared open war with each other, igniting a conflict that lasted for nearly a decade. It was only when one colony travelled to the sixth dead moon of the planet that the “truth” of the matter was revealed to it and granted the power to subjugate the other colonies. I’m sure you can guess what that was.

Eventually, the Imperium wondered “what ever happened to that felinid colony” and sent an IG force to investigate. They ended up walking into a Slaaneshi-themed version of Predator being hounded by crazed felinids who only exalted and took pleasure in the kill, who worshipped a corrupted version of Slaanesh-as-Camazotz.

==Other Notable Planets==

'''Istvaan V''' - The Istvaan system was once inhabited by the [[Nobledark_Imperium_Member_States#Kinebrach|Kinebrach]] several hundred thousand years before the rise to humanity. The Segmentum Obscurus was far outside of the Kinebrach's normal sphere of influence, and at some point they eventually abandoned the Istvaan system, leaving only their molecularly-superdense fortifications behind. Istvaan V was habitable, but was eventually terraformed further when the people of [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Istvaan_III|Istvaan III]] decided to expand further out into the stars. It was later scoured of life in a later (read: post-War of the Beast) battle. It's been suggested Nimina Demthring and the Conservators of Isha were the ones responsible.<br>
'''[[Nostramo]]''' - A twilight Hive World, it was once a nightmarish hellhole until Curze used it as his thesis that his tactics could bring law and order to even the worst worlds. At one point Nostramo's main export was adamantium mining, but most of the mining industry dried up when it became apparent that any more risked causing what was left of Nostramo's surface to completely collapse. Today Nostramo is a rusted out world full of ancient derelict industry and home to an ancient, distinguished, but impoverished society that mostly services and provides recruits for galactic law enforcement. Nostramo's main export to the Imperium seems to be Arbites officers and precious little else.

= Craftworlds =

==Biel-Tan==

Surprisingly enough, despite being firmly in the "Eldar supremacy" camp, Biel-Tan is actually relatively pro-human. Biel-Tan's main problem with humans is that the humans (and to a lesser extent, some of the other Craftworlds) keep telling them to slow the fuck down. Biel-Tan is itching to reconquer the galaxy and rebuild the old empire and they're frustrated that humans can't go at the same pace as them. Biel-Tan believes that humans should keep up and that they shouldn't be told to slow down the warpath of their own empire. Or at least in terms of the younger ones. The Autarchs of Biel-Tan are old and wise enough to want brakes on the train but they're also cunning enough to let the Imperial Army high ups take the blame for it.

In other words, to quote one anon: "Space Noldor".

==Saim-Hann==

Saim-Hann doesn’t take defeat lying down. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Saim-Hann|Leithon may have lost the initial challenge]] but he almost immediately challenged Russ to a rematch. He also overestimated his chances, expecting Leman to go down after a few swigs like the lightweight pansies he saw humans as. Humans can’t digest eldar alcohol and eldar alcoholic beverages are nasty by human standards due to the eldar’s genetically engineered immunity to poisons and the kind of alcohol Saim-Hann brews are considered gargle blasters by the rest of the eldar. He just had the misfortune to challenge one of the few people in the galaxy who could keep up with him, the guy who invented mjod because after his enhancements he considered all other forms of human alcohol to be too soft to do anything for him anymore. The contest was also far from one-sided, although Leman may have won he came really close to defeat and he knew it and considered any warrior capable of drinking him under the table to be a worthy opponent. The entire relationship between Saim-Hann and the Disciples of Kurnous/the Space Wolves and Fenris has been [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAdkKQ6-6wo| one huge competition of counting coup ever since].

==Lugganath==

In this timeline, Craftworld Lugganath is the Dark Eldar-hating Craftworld. As in canon, Lugganath are still trying to find a way to bring their Craftworld into the webway so they can rebuild Eldar civilization from there. The Webway would literally provide an infinite amount of space for the Eldar to grow and thrive away from the horrors of the galaxy. However, they realize that’s not going to happen so long as the Webway is being squatted in by their cocaine-snorting kin. Not only do the Dark Eldar make it impossible to live in the Webway long-term, they make Webway travel dangerous in general. So Lugganath wants to kick the lazy bums out. Lugganath was always kind uneasy about the Dark Eldar, but it got worse after the War of the Beast, where it became clear the Dark Eldar were willing to kill their own kind with impunity. Lugganath's end game could be that all permanent eldar habitation be moved to the webway but rather that one or just a few big cities like The Dark City they are working towards thinner spread with a "village" at each intersection, junction and crossroad. They help humanity and the others be masters of the Galaxy so long as the Imperium helps them become masters of their domain.

==Yme-Loc and Valhalla==

The comet that hit Valhalla was diverted this time by Craftworld Yme-Loc. By M41 Yme-Loc and Valhalla are in a very close relationship, like Ulthwe and Cadia.

Yme-loc gets a new neighbours, all the ice it could ever want and the eternal gratitude of the Valhallans.

Valhallans get their world saved, new friends and someone to help them because 20ish years later the orks came.

Yme-loc helps them fight off the orks and they and the Valhallans get into an arrangement. Elder neighbours provide them with imitation las-rifles and other wargear as well as sharing any farseer predictions that look interesting. Valhalla provides food and soldiers.

Yme-Loc is ruled by a council of shipwrights. They have final say on most things not directly related to war. They are descended, in a spiritual sense if not biological, from the original bonesingers stationed on the pre-fall ship the craftworld grew out of.

They all set out from the dying of the eldar homeworlds with the intention of finding “The Promised Land”. When they rammed the comet and drifted into orbit of Valhalla the Autarchs demanded that effort be made to fix the engines for strategic reasons. The Shipwrights told them that they would waste no time on that. The boat was beached on the shores of paradise. They had reached The Promised Land. The failed invasion of the orks was seen as the trial of tribulations to see if they deserved to keep their new home.

By 999M41 nobody can quite tell where the craftworld ends and the comet starts as the eldar have been gradually sculpting their chunk of ice till it looks like polished slightly blue quartz. It doubles as space port, orbital defence platform and a very pretty moon.

Of Valhalla itself the population is at about twenty billion and stable. They dwell in the fortified hives originally designed by Perty in antiquity. Outside the defensive walls it’s all orchards, pastures and fields and with bountiful seas and picturesque beaches.

=Notable Battles=

==War of the Beast==

===The Sacrifice of Argel Tal===

In canon, what happens to Argel Tal? He transforms into a giant daemonically possessed monster that towers over primarchs and in some prophecies gets put down at the Battle of Terra (doesn’t happen, but still). So what happens in this timeline?

He transforms into a giant daemonically possessed monster, but one of a distinctly different flavor.

In canon, Argel Tal is from Colchis, that planet which is now a weird, religion human-eldar hybrid society in this timeline. Given the religious nature of Colchis, Tal joins the Space Marines and is enthusiastic about the possibility of joining the Word Bearers. Imagine his surprise when he ended up getting put in the War Hounds instead. He repeatedly tried to get transferred, but was talked out of it every time by Kharn and on occasion by Angron in his more lucid moments. Although they prided themselves on their martial prowess, the War Hounds were not the most peaceable legion, and Kharn and Angron liked how the calm, thoughtful Tal was able to play peacemaker between some of the more hotheaded elements of the legion.

During the War of the Beast, Kharn, Tal, and a group of War Hounds were on a mission to deliver some eldar artifacts to the Craftworld of Biel-Tan. Depending on the timescale of the war, it either was something they were assigned to do so before the war broke out or they were far enough away that the Imperium had resources that it could assign elsewhere. The Imperium had discovered what they believed to be an abandoned Craftworld, and were returning the artifacts to Biel-Tan as an effort of diplomatic good will. Kharn’s mind wasn’t really on the mission. Angron’s condition had flared up again and he had to return to Old Earth for medical treatment. The plan was to ditch the artifact at Biel-Tan and make all speed to Old Earth, especially as it was becoming increasingly clear as the war was going to be made or broken at the Sol system and the area surrounding it.

Then the ship carrying the eldar artifacts was attacked by the Fallen, led by Erebus. The Fallen managed to wrest control of the bridge and much of the ship, but the War Hounds had managed to get the drop on Erebus and take him prisoner. When they figured out that this was the little shit who had, among other things, convinced Luther to go traitor and was responsible for the whole problem with the Fallen in the first place, they realized this was big. They had to get Erebus off the ship and back to Old Earth, if for no other reason than to remove Erebus as a piece on the board. They didn’t have enough manpower to retake the ship, but they did have the ship’s Navigator and enough people to crew a small ship and there were a few small Warp-capable Cruisers docked at the aft of the ship (which they grimly noted with their losses would just about fit everyone left).

Problem is, the Fallen controlled most of the upper part of the ship, and so in order to get to the escape craft they would have to bypass most of the upper decks by travelling through the cargo hold. Which would have worked if they could have snuck by unnoticed, but the Fallen figured out their plan and came down on them from both sides. At about this point the contents of the ship’s cargo hold were revealed and Tal realized why the Fallen wanted this ship so badly.

Tal was from Colchis. He knew what a shard of Khaine was.

With the Fallen coming in from all sides and nothing else to lose, Tal called out to the statue, beseeching Khaine to hear his plea. No one knows why the Avatar responded to his call. Perhaps it was because Argel Tal was from Colchis, and thus knew all the old rites to supplicate Khaine. Perhaps it was because there were no children of Isha present, and as a Colchian Tal was the closest thing to an Eldar there. Perhaps the God of Murder just really wanted to murder somebody that day.

The Bloody-Handed one was eager to do battle with the servants of the Great Enemy once more. As there were no children of Kurnous and Isha around to serve as a suitable vessel for his glory, a child of Old Earth would have to do.

Argel Tal's avatar was less like a being of power and more like a volcanic eruption. Tal was a psyker, but he was a human psyker. If he had been an eldar psyker, with stronger, more stable psychic powers and a species connection to the Avatar of Khaine, he would have produced a normal avatar. Instead, Tal’s Avatar was a fucking mess. It couldn’t manifest the Wailing Doom, instead lashing out with molten, metal-dripping claws, and its body parts had the tendency to keep sloughing off. If a normal Avatar of Khaine looks like it’s made of magma, Tal’s looks like an ongoing nuclear meltdown.

Nevertheless, even this was not enough. The malformed Avatar of Khaine may have slain dozens of Fallen, but hundreds were close behind them. All Argel Tal could hope to do is to buy enough time for the remnants of the War Hounds and the ship’s crew to make it so safety before finally boiling down into a slag-ridden mess from a hail of bolter fire. If Tal had been an Eldar, the essence of Khaine would have returned to the Craftworld’s Infinity Circuity, to be safely reused for future generations. As it were, having bonded with a human the shard was disrupted and dissipated, burning up along with Argel Tal. It was Argel Tal and Khaine's bittersweet victory, spitting defiance in the face of the Dark Gods. The Fallen would be denied their shard of the Bloody Handed one.

Having escaped from the fray and made it to the safety of the hangar with the escape craft, Kharn grabbed Erebus by the scruff of his power armor and demanded to know what the point of all this was. Erebus says there was a prophecy that said if Argel Tal was killed it would push Kharn over the edge and into the service of the Blood God. Kharn dragged him closer so the two are staring each other eye to eye and Erebus realized he’s made a terrible mistake. He realizes the way the event the prophecy meant would push Kharn over the edge would be BY KILLING EREBUS. He can see the gears turning in Kharn’s head, fantasizing about the best way to kill him.

But Kharn swore an oath to never again take a life in the throes of passion, and if he did it would make everything Argel Tal died for meaningless. The spark of madness dies down in Kharn’s eyes. Erebus thinks he’s dodged a bullet.

Then Kharn breaks Erebus’ back over his knee, paralyzing both his legs, leaving him sputtering around on the ground but very deliberately not killing him and leaving him within easy reach of the Fallen who could bring him to medical attention to heal his broken back. Kharn turns his back on the foundering Erebus and shuts the door of the escape craft behind him. The last thing Erebus hears before the doors shut is:

“Tell your Blood God if he wants it so badly he can go get his own blood.”

None of the survivors ever spoke of what happened to Argel Tal beyond “he died holding the line”, for fear that it would leave unscrupulous sorts to try to replicate it.

===Battle of Molech===

The Battle of Molech during the War of the Beast was an important one, as Molech was located only a few light years from the Sol System, (about as far as Cthonia, if not a little closer) enough that one could reach it without warp drives. Molech was attacked by Ork forces under the command of Gharkul Blackfang, who destroyed almost all of Molech’s native population and wildlife. It is said that war is as much about the mistakes of the defeated as the strategies of the victorious. While the orks had the advantage of numbers, their victory was aided by some tactical blunders on the part of the Imperium as well. Forces of three legions were present on Molech: the Imperial Fists led by Alexius Pollux, the Void Wolves led by Abbadon, and the Death Guard led by Crysos Mortug. Morturg was recruited in the wake of the Rangda Xenocide and extremely grateful not to be cattle for maggots. Not actually one of the docile Thrall breed as his parents were recent captures, he was just a small child when the Imperium conquered Rangda. The Molech-born House Devine still fell to Chaos, but may not have played a major role and instead made life miserable for someone else elsewhere.

Pollux, Abbadon, and Morturg were all capable commanders on their own, but put them together and you get a complete disaster as they didn’t communicate very well and had radically different combat doctrines. Pollux was strategic but cautious and like most sons of Dorn liked to fight defensively. Morturg was an avid follower of Mortarion’s aggressive “no backwards step” tactics and once going just wouldn’t stop. He would have been right at home with the later Black Templars. Abbadon just wanted them to start applying Imperial boots to Ork heads and if he had to pick a side would have favored Morturg’s more aggressive approach. If they had picked one strategy they would have done a lot better. Instead the Death Guard rushed in, were surprised when the Imperial Fists failed to follow them as a second wave, and got picked apart by the Blackfang Marauders, all the while Abbadon is screaming at the groundpounders asking them what are they doing wasting the opportunity his void fleet is buying them. Due to their lack of cooperation they didn't make up for each other’s weaknesses by integrating their forces and instead had two distinct forces, each with a glaring weakness against the ever so manoeuvrable and mobile Blackfang Marauders.

==Battle of the Fang==

In late M32, the planet of Fenris came under attack from Skyrar and his Dark Wolves. After the disappearance of Leman Russ (who had forbidden messing with the Canis Helix and considered setting up the Fenrisian Colonies a “good enough” solution), the AdBio (who didn’t know the meaning of “leaving well enough alone”) and the apothecaries of the Vlka Fenryka had been continuing to tinker with the Canis Helix, in the hopes that they could expand the recruiting pool of the chapter beyond Fenris and its colonies. By late M32, they had a solution which in theory should work, which was enough to entice Skyrar to attack the planet.

Skyrar was particularly desperate to find a workaround to the typical problems of the Canis Helix. Given that the Canis Helix only works reliably on Fenrisians, Skyrar had had very few opportunities to recoup his losses since the War of the Beast and the Dark Wolves risked being wiped out through attrition unless something changed. Additionally, from Skyrar’s perspective it was perhaps the best time for him to attack Fenris. Russ had vanished over a thousand years before, and the second Chapter Master of the Space Wolves, Bjorn, another Canis Helix soldier from Old Earth who had known Skyrar personally, had since been interred in a dreadnaught. The current Chapter Master of the Space Wolves was either Harek Ironhelm or Vaer Greyloc, who was a native of Fenris and not a veteran of the War of the Beast.

Skyrar’s goals in attacking Fenris were to steal the modifications to the Canis Helix, and, as an afterthought, burn Fenris to the ground. Fenris represented one of Leman Russ’ proudest accomplishments over his life, and Skyrar wanted nothing more than to see it destroyed. The Space Wolves could have probably handled Skyrar and his conventional forces. It was the shitload of daemons Skyrar brought as backup that they couldn’t handle, especially given the low number of Rune Priests relative to the Vlka Fenryka as a whole. Skyrar’s forces had travelled to Fenris by clawing open a number of Warp rifts across the planet, which were spewing daemons all over the planet. Faced with the threat of a war on two fronts with the civilian population of Fenris caught in the middle, the Great Wolf of the Space Wolves invoked the nuclear option. He called in Magnus and the Grey Knights.

Relationships between the Space Wolves and Magnus, The Grey Knights, and the Thousand Sons weren’t the greatest in M32. Even though Russ and Magnus had mended their bridges before the latter’s disappearance, many in their respective legions had not. Additionally, even though the Grey Knights had been trained in a “Magnus tested, Russ approved” manner, many did not like how much attention Russ had given the Grey Knights over the Space Wolves in the last years of his life.

Magnus and the Grey Knights, having access to the “right the fuck now” option of the Webway, appeared within hours of the message for help being sent. Magnus and the Grey Knights teamed up with the Rune Priests to focus on sealing the warp rifts and slaying the daemons that came through, which freed up the Space Wolves to crush the conventional opposition. Even the Disciples of Kurnous may have shown up, if for no other reason than they weren’t going to let Bjorn and the Space Wolves have all the fun.

Skyrar's trump card in the invasion was this big, arrogant Slaaneshi daemon/daemon prince that the Space Wolves under Bjorn defeated in the past, who he bound to a mortal body to make a daemonhost and dragged its army along for the ride. Skyrar is kind of like Curze in despite being aligned against the Imperium and often joins in Black Crusades for the chance to pillage and burn, he doesn't actively try to win the favor of the Chaos Gods (though there is always ambient corruption which is why he increasingly looks like a werewolf in space). Luther does, because he's stuck in the Eye and after 10k years of living there his motivations have slipped and he has become resigned to his situation, but not Skyrar. Skyrar is, however, willing to use the denizens of the Empyrean to do his dirty work for him. Skyrar is also getting a little bit desperate because he can ill-afford to take losses as much as the Space Wolves can, so he's willing to push some boundaries. He summons the daemon and doesn’t so much beseech it as offer it a deal.

''“I want you to listen very closely. I am not going to bow down and kiss yer bloody daemon arse, beggin' fer yer help in exchange for praise and sacrifices. Instead, I am going to make you an offer. I know how you feel about the Vlka Fenryka. I know what Bjorn and the sons of Fenris did to you. I offer you the chance for revenge. And if you do not take up my offer, then to hell with ye.”''<br>
--Skyrar's offer

The daemon agrees and is bound within a young Dark Wolf of Skyrar’s choosing. When Magnus and the Grey Knights respond to the hail for assistance against Skyrar, Magnus squares off against Skyrar’s ace in the hole because the Grey Knights are focusing on killing daemons and closing warp rifts and the daemonhost is by far the biggest problem.

As they fight, the daemon goes on about how great it is. It claims its fury is like a volcanic eruption, its blows are like a hurricane, so on and so forth. Magnus points out all this bravado is ignoring one, major weakness, and then he phases his hand out of sync with reality and rips the host’s heart out. All that power and the ability to use it is dependent on its host being alive. No host, no daemon. A daemon can puppet a corpse, but sooner or later it has to abandon its vessel and returns to the Immaterium. Daemon Prince, currently bleeding out of his chest, says it just has to kill him before his host dies. Magnus says all he has to do is put a ward between them and wait for him to die. And he had been making wards since he was 15 years old.

The good news is that Magnus, the Rune Priests, and the Grey Knights managed to shut the Warp portals across Fenris, and Skyrar’s forces were driven off before they could destroy the planet. The battle also showed the very important distinction between being in a dreadnaught and dead, as despite being interred Bjorn was active in the battle and showed he had lost none of his edge. The bad news is that the Great Wolf of the Vlka Fenryka was killed in a duel with Skyrar, the Great Wolf was good but Skyrar had the edge in experience having been an active fighter since the Great Crusade. Worse, Skyrar managed to get away with the altered Canis Helix, though not before destroying all the research and killing anyone who might have been able to reconstitute it. Worse still is that the modified Canis Helix worked, so now the Dark Wolves aren’t as limited in their recruitment pools as the Space Wolves and their descendant chapters are. However, considering what [[Daemon_World|usually happens to]] [[Exterminatus|worlds invaded by Chaos]] the Space Wolves got off rather easy.

Thematically, it has a bit of poetic irony to it. In canon Magnus goes to Fenris to wreck the place, here Magnus is called in by the Wolves to help save it, given than he and Leman mended their bridges enough that Magnus respected him by the time he disappeared. It’s also a good look at Magnus during his days as the arch-psyker of the Imperium (along with people like Eldrad and the Steward, but you get the point) when he hung around with the Grey Knights as much as the Thousand Sons.

This would also have been not too long after Bjorn was interred in a dreadnaught. In canon Bjorn became the first Great Wolf around 211.M31 and served in that role for seven hundred years. If we go by the rough date we have floating around for the Battle of Terra (546.M31), Bjorn could have been interred potentially as late as early M32 unless we want to mess with the timeline. So the Chapter Master who died may have been the second or third. It would also show both in-universe and out that Bjorn hadn’t lost his edge.

==The Harrowing==

The Harrowing was an event in M33-M34 in which an entire dimension full of magnetic life forms that did not obey the conventional laws of physics tried to forcibly impose itself over the Materium. The problem was the inhabitants of this universe brought their laws of physics with them which made them a pain to kill. What's more, no one had any idea what the Harrowing was. The Harlequins, who have access to nearly the entire sixty-five million year history of the Eldar, were asked if they knew what it was and they shrugged and said it beats them. The Harrowing literally threatened everyone. The Olamic Quietude got smashed. [[That_Guy|''Trazyn'']] teamed up with the Imperium to make it go away. Chaos even helped out in a fashion (seeing the Harrowing as the more immediate and more existential threat), creating the Hadex Anomaly as the biggest middle finger they could give to the Harrowing that screwed over the surrounding sectors with Warp Storms as a side effect.

The Imperium ended up blasting it for a split second with the full light of the Astronomican in the hopes of making it go away. Before this, turning the Astronomican into a giant death-laser was believed to be theoretically possible, but the Imperium was never desperate enough to actually try it. Actually doing so killed two-thirds of the astropathic choir (nearly breaking the Astronomican permanently), doomed hundreds of ships to being lost in the warp when the giant psychic lighthouse suddenly went out, and the beam itself tore through realspace and the Immaterium alike and caused madness and mutation in every system it passed by. The beam did something to the Harrowing, but whether it actually banished it or softened it up for the kill is unknown.

Overall, given the resulting side effects, the Steward/Emperor considers shooting the Harrowing with the Astronomican a huge mistake that was not worth it and wishes he had found a more conventional and less destructive solution to the problem (whether anyone would have in time is a question for historians). The Harrowing wasn’t wiped from the history books in this timeline as the Imperium is generally less into outright erasing its history and the Imperium wants to be sure to remember the Harrowing for the simple reason of having information on them if they ever come back.

Bjorn fought in the Harrowing. He considers the current situation as of 999.M41 to be worse, but that might be hindsight talking.

== The High Conservators and Isha ==

Some time after the War of the Beast, when the alliance between humanity and eldar had been formalized and Isha and Oscar had been married, Isha was approached by Nimina and the High Conservators when she was off alone on a primitive planet. Isha and Oscar had went to go oversee the integration of a newly discovered world into the Imperium. It had a human population existing in a pre-black powder state but who are surprisingly peaceful with few actual wars between neighbors. The native humans also have stories of the Fey-Folk who are tall and graceful and live in the woods the by law must remain untouched. It is a regressed human world with Exodites camping in the forests.

Oscar goes to the capital city of the biggest nation on the planet to see about unifying and uplifting the planet and getting it to join the Imperium. Isha sets about looking for her missing children so that she can lead them out of the dark. The Custodians and Handmaidens only sent a token escort to accompany Isha, as the nearest place the "Fey-Folk" were commonly seen was only a few hours away and they didn't see how anything could happen without the larger group of Custodians and Handmaidens with the Steward noticing. They underestimated how insidious Chaos could be. They didn't realize when people said Chaos could strike anywhere, they meant ANYWHERE anywhere. They just got lucky it was a bunch of Nurglites deluded enough to think Isha would come back to them willingly as opposed to Arrotyr or the Taskmaster.

She's still looking for them when Nurglites attack, fucking thousands of them and maybe even tens of thousands. rotting and stinking and singing and all about them the droning of daemons and the possessed. Isha and her bodyguards sprint as fast as they can back to the mountain fortress they had set out from. Close the door and desperately try to send out a psychic or radio communication to The Steward. Steward was at that time throwing the emperors and kings of that world a polite feast on the deck with the big window that they could see the beauty of their world from above. In any case no messages were getting out. The Nurglites materialize out of the woods surrounding the city she was visiting like Hills Have Eyes-style [[Wood Elves]]. Alone and surrounded by a seemingly endless sea of half-dead nurglites Isha, her token escort of Custodians and Handmaidens, and a few native sword and board soldiery prepare to endure a long siege. Isha stand on the wall and looks over the sea of damnation. Then one of the damned steps forwards and entreats her, in the name of the Grandfather, to "escape" with them from her "abductors" and return to the "safety" of the garden. They beg her to renounce this false husband, this unworthy lord, and return to His safety.

Isha gets a thousand yard stare and the blank expression. There would be at least a moment of Nam Dog. An eternity of horror and abuse only capable of being inflicted on and inflicted by a god. Time doesn't work right in the Warp. Isha's time in Nurgle's garden was on the same scale that tectonic plates move and continents drift. She was there so long she thought the twisted denizens of Nurgle's garden were all that were left of her children until the Raid turned up. It literally was an eternity. Some nights she is still there again. Then the screaming starts. Before anyone can stop her she vaults over the parapet and starts sprinting towards the spokesperson into the ranks of her most wretched and unforgivable children the moment she hits the ground. Spokesperson has their arms open wide to embrace her in the name of his god and for a moment they might think that she has come home to them in joy. Defenders are horrified, they think she might actually be so psychologically damaged to the point where she is going to embrace them, some mental contagion left in from the Mansion for just this eventuality. But only for a moment because then she punched the spokesperson so hard her hand and forearm go straight through their decaying chest like rotten firewood and uses his upper body as a bludgeon to beat the next cultist to death.

The horde were in utter disarray. Nobody at this time had really been aware of what Isha could do. This was before Isha had fully become the "Iron Matron" and was still trying to find her place in the world (which would make it before Sarosh). Isha had been kept far out of harm's way during the War of the Beast and the Conservators only knew of her as a crybaby (from the old stories) or a sickly, withered kidnap victim. Out of all the prepared for eventualities being bodily torn apart by Isha was not one they had considered. They didn't know if they were supposed to run or fight. If they killed her would she be devoured by Slaanesh? Go back to the Mansion? Reincarnate into another host? Dissipate and truly die? And all the while Isha was slaughtering them with tears pouring down her face and the memories of her time in the Mansion reflecting in her eyes. The humans of their ranks were below even animals and the few eldar were not her children, not anymore. She spared none, not even those who tried to run from her. Nimina survived somehow, though whether that was by running away or by reforming herself after Isha splattered her all over the landscape has never been detailed.

The Custodeus and the mortal soldiers try to join in but they are pretty much relegated to dispatching the crippled and wounded by that point, there is no way they could keep up with the mad screaming goddess who demonstrably can punch a man so hard that, helmet or not, his head turns to pulp. When the Custodes and Handmaidens finally catch up to Isha she's kneeling in a fetal position in the paste that was once her attempted abductors, her dress covered in pus and blood, and she wouldn't say a word until Oscar arrived to personally take her back to the ship. That was then. By 999.M41 if such a thing was to happen again she would not be so broken inside as to weep, she is as a person stronger than that now. The memories of her time in captivity are not as recent. She sure as shit wouldn't be found curled up and unresponsive afterwards either. She doesn't go anywhere unarmed anymore either.

There was a suggestion that the world in question was [http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Aghoru| Aghoru], which in this timeline was suggested to have a diminished, but still present Exodite population and for whom the arrival of Magnus was one of the "it didn't count" incidents before the humans and Eldar made official contact. The only problem is Aghoru in canon is said to be rather dry and desolate.

==Black Crusades==

Generally, in this timeline, Black Crusades (at least, the big ones that get numbers) occur when the three big warlords of Chaos (Lady Malys, Luther, and Be'lakor) along with the other big names of Chaos decide to temporarily put aside their differences and [[get shit done]]. Erebus is a big help in these matters, since he curries enough favor with all three warlords that they'll listen to him. Generally it's Malys who's the one who makes the official declaration of it being a Black Crusade, especially after she got Drach'nyen.

There are lesser Chaos crusades. Sometimes they're called by a Crone, sometimes by a Fallen. One time it was a Chaos Ork.

Malys rose to prominence during the First Black Crusade. She wasn't the Queen Bitch of Chaos during the War of the Beast, though she did participate in the Raid on Cthonia among other battles. At the start of the First Black Crusade Malys is seen as just some two-bit warlord who managed to get the various factions of Chaos to stop fighting for once, and her "let the galaxy burn" speech is seen as incredibly arrogant. Afterwards? It's clear that Malys is just as dangerous as she makes herself out to be.

Compared to canon, Malys is the Joker to [[Abbadon]]'s Bane. Abbadon plans Black Crusades with very specific goals in mind, which despite being very well planned out have the option of total failure because they are based around specific objectives. Malys makes plans but ultimately just wants to watch the world burn. Malys is terrifying because she is not only a schemer but she's also a complete lunatic at the same time. She can come up with devious plans, but they're often the kind of schemes that can only come from the kind of coked-up mind that is high on warp dust all the time. Malys' Black Crusades don't have specific objectives. They have a very broad "to do" list. Sure, it would be nice to burn down Prospero, but the Crusade isn't going to be a failure if it doesn't. The more things that can get done, the better. Basically, as long as the Black Crusade doesn't get blocked at Cadia and Imperials die it's chalked up as a success. There's also been the implication that Malys has a long-term slow burn plan to weaken and sap the Imperium, but it doesn't exactly have a strict timetable. Thirteenth Black Crusade would be a nice one to win because of the numerical significance, but then again, so would the [[Chaos|Eighth]].

Lady Malys goals in launching these Black Crusades is not to gain prizes and other glorious things that small-minded Abbadon would do. The wars are started to bring the Imperium to its knees with the sheer amount of anarchy or destruction wrought by the armies of Chaos. These crusades end not due to disintegration by the Fallen running back to the Eye of Terror or the Maelstrom with trophies in hand (though many of the warlords like Doombreed and Arrotyr end up running off). The wars end with Lady Malys ordering the full withdraw of all Chaos forces back home. Each and every Black Crusade grows in strength and number as the targets for them become more and more ambitious.

The wars are where the Imperium always suffer more losses than Chaos then if the tide of the war changes against Chaos, Lady Malys already planned the inevitable fighting retreat or scorch-planet campaigns just to twist the knife in the Imperium's eyes. Even chasing after Chaos forces as they retreat should result in horrific losses for the Imperials even more so than the initial fighting. The scorch-planet campaigns would leave entire sub-sectors devoid of resources or infrastructure forcing the Imperium to rebuild in centuries long projects. To account for the Imperium being stronger, Chaos taint is left behind to ensure long-term instability along with sleeper cells or cults to bring ruin to the Imperium from within. The targets for the crusades are always almost irreplaceable things the Imperium hold such as STCs and Forge worlds while poisoning Argi-worlds then spreading separatist ideas.

Knowing a war of attrition could never be won against the Imperium, the Black Crusades are made to bleed the Imperium to death while minimizing losses for Chaos.

Basically the Black Crusades are like the Northern Crusades where Christian armies went around killing Pagans and spreading Christianity to permanently plant the religion in hostile territory. The withdrawal of Chaos is made to sound like the Germans retreating in the Battle of the Bulge, where the victors suffered horrific losses chasing after the outnumbered defeated Germans.

===Notable unsorted events during Black Crusades===

'''Destruction of Belis Corona''' - Belis Corona is one of the major Gate Worlds, and serves as an important base for the Imperial Navy in the Segmentum Obscurus, especially when it comes to arming fleets in a fight for the Gate Worlds in the middle of a Black Crusade. It was a habitable world, but at some point during the Black Crusades Malys got a hold of it and razed it to the ground. However, the Imperials are a stubborn lot, and simply rebuilt the shipyard facilities on the now atmosphere-free planet.

==Armageddon Wars==

1st: Armageddon not yet the overwhelmingly important hive world it would become, Steel Legion not yet formed; complacent local PDF failed to properly suppress Feral Ork populations resulting in an invading WAAAGH to swell dramatically in strength upon landfall. Hives almost entirely overwhelmed, survivors forced to fall back into mountains in guerilla resistance until relief from the Imperium arrives

Result: PDF reorganized into Steel Legion; guerilla units given remit to hunt down Feral Orks, and would eventually evolve into the Outriders.

2nd: Relatively new Steel Legion organizes brilliant defence using Armageddon's broken terrain and superior mobility to repeatedly entrap Ork columns; the hives are barely threatened.

Result: Resounding victory, 'Armageddon doctrine' is formalized based on victorious strategy

3rd: (approximately M39) After initial success in the ground campaign, the Steel Legion is taken by surprise and outflanked when the Orks take to the seas. Armageddon's small wet-navy fleet fights series of desperate holding actions to prevent the defence from collapsing entirely, culminating in an Ork attempt to destroy the Seawall and flood the lowland hives.

Result: Bare Imperial victory. Formation of the Armageddon Rust Fleet, third and least famous of Armageddon's armed forces. Ferrus Manus, last of the primarchs, dies in this war defending Hades Hive.

4th: Ghazzy's first appearance. First large-scale appearance of Brain Boys, use of teleportation, etc. Also, there's an Assault Moon. Things look bleak until Ghazzy is defeated, but not killed, by Yarrick. Although not dead, Ghazzy loses much of his authority and is forced to retreat as the WAAAGH breaks down in infighting.

Result: Yarrick becomes Hero of Armageddon, Assault Moon is paralyzed by mutiny, is captured intact-ish, and is remodeled as a Star Fort.

5th: Ghazzy's grand comeback tour, about a century after the 4th war for Armageddon. Not so much a separate war but a continuation of the 4th after Ghazzy cracked enough heads to rebuild his reputation and authority. Everything the 4th was but even meaner and greener.

Result: Ongoing.

==Lady Malys versus the Steward==

Malys and the Steward fought each other at some point during the First Black Crusade. This was Malys' first death, and how the Imperium knows that only the Steward is a match for Malys in single combat. Before the incident the Steward and the rest of the Imperium thought Malys was just some two-bit warlord whose only achievement of note was managing to get the various factions of Chaos to stop fighting for once. The Steward thought no one could ever come near his level/the Beast because it would be ridiculous, Malys was obviously full of the condescension and arrogance typical of Croneldar royalty and campy villains with insane power levels. The Steward changed his mind after he ended up fighting a psychotic, malicious she-Eldar who seems to have caffeine for blood and is so powerful and vicious even he has trouble keeping up.

Specifically, the Steward heard about a sighting of Malys in the ruins of a destroyed Chaos fortress, and set off with a group of Custodians to cut the head off the snake and end this “Black Crusade” once and for all. This was before the Steward and Isha travelled together all the time, as humans and Eldar were not as closely associated, and the Steward didn’t have any Handmaidens with him. They descended into the bowels of the Chaos fortress and ended up walking into an ambush. All of a sudden the lights flicker and go out. The Steward tells everyone to group up with him and pulls out his flaming sword for light. And the next thing anyone knew the room was filled with elite infantry Crone Eldar (mostly Phalanxes) and a few Fallen, led by this psychotic female Crone with the biggest slasher smile you can imagine standing feet away.

The other Crones and Fallen went after the Custodians while Malys took the Steward on. Malys was the more aggressive fighter, whirling around the Steward's blows and swinging her sword around wildly one-handed like a madwoman, switching to new weapons as old ones were broken or destroyed in her frenzy (comparisons were made to prequels Yoda or the Ichigo/Hollow Ichigo fight in Bleach). The Steward, being the more reserved combatant, mostly stayed in one place parrying the attacks and looking for the right opening to retaliate with a strike or a blast of psychic energy. Malys wasn't stupid enough to leave herself open, but she expected her natural Eldar agility to allow her to switch from offense to defense faster than her opponent can respond. She's wasn't used to a mon-keigh being able to keep up with her.

What got Malys killed was the fact that she had expected the Steward’s sword to be a physical sword, rather than a telekinetic wedge in the shape of a sword that ignited the air around it through friction burn and psyker power. The Steward had underestimated Malys, but Malys had underestimated the Steward. Malys and Oscar locked blades in a final clash with their surroundings in ruins, and before Malys can rear back and stick one of her many knives in Oscar's face his sword seemed to pour from his hands, instantly becoming a stream of force and sun-hot fire that hits her like an avalanche. The fact that her body withstands the deluge of psychic fire long enough to be knocked across the room and pinned down my the impact was still be a testament to her disturbing durability, but within a few seconds she would be burned away, with the Steward hoping she would be gone for good.

Having managed to put Malys down after a brutal fight the Steward thought that was the end of it. That is, until he received a message from the Imperial Palace that had been transmitted from the Eye of Terror courtesy of what should be a dead woman.

"That was fun. Let’s do it again sometime sweetheart.”

Since that time, Oscar has become more powerful due to gaining more precision and control over his power, as well as any added power from having officially taken the Golden Throne. At the same time, Malys has become more powerful through her own added experience, additional Chaos buffs, and gaining Drach’nyen. Both have learned from the encounter.

==Oscar and the Silent King==

When the Necrons began awakening en masse and the Silent King arose to represent the majority of them, the Emperor and much of the human parts of the Imperium wanted to try to parley with them. Before the Imperium and the Necrons had adopted a mutual “stay off our lawn” policy, which the Eldar weren’t too happy about, but it was clear the Necrons could no longer simply be ignored as a local concern. The Eldar freaked out about this, with many suggesting the Eldar jump ship if humanity was going to do something so blatantly suicidal. This was the closest the alliance between humanity and Eldar ever came to dissolving. Isha and Oscar had a bit of a falling out over this and argued for many nights, with Oscar essentially sleeping on the equivalent a space couch for several nights because of this. He eventually persuaded Isha to his side of the matter and at least give them a chance by telling her that it's better to have them in here pissing out than out there pissing in. He did not mention that this was the same line of reasoning he had used on the High Lords of Terra to get them to agree to the Eldar alliance. Isha agreed to give them a ''chance'', though she still refused to go anywhere near them and still won't go near the independent Necrons that are sort of friendly to the Imperium like Zahndrekh or Trazyn.

It is also important to consider Oscar’s mindset at the time that this occurred. In M40, Oscar’s social circle consisted of his wife, Eldrad, Cegorach, Bjorn, Eldrad, Trajan, Galadrea, and a handful of others. Oscar has made new friends since then (most notably among those mentioned Sebastian Thor and Alicia Dominica), but he has had trouble building relationships due to the fear of loss ever since his original family (the primarchs, Malcador, Taranis, Krole, Mu, and the like) started dying. Even some of his longest-lived friends have passed away. Magnus is dead. Vulkan is dead. Ferrus Manus is dead. Constantin is dead. The possibility of anyone, even the bloody king of the Necrons, being a positive long-term social influence at this point in his life is an avenue worth pursuing. On top of that, Szarekh is an immortal being with massive amounts of power who rules over a massive empire and therefore knows firsthand how hard the decisions required of that are. He’s possibly one of the few people in the galaxy who could potentially empathize with Oscar’s situation.

So Oscar wasn’t exactly going into the situation with an open mind. When he went to parlay with Szarekh, he hoped that all the things Isha told him about "Oscar, this is a bad idea. I'm serious, those people are psychopaths" is just an exaggeration from the days when the Eldar didn't rule the roost and the Necrons were their personal boogeymen. It didn’t help when the Silent King introduced himself with the self-deprecating, very Oscar-esque “They call me the Silent King. Well, they call me that, but I suppose I haven’t been very silent these last few millennia”.

And Oscar thinks he might just be a little bit less alone in the galaxy. Only for it to be ripped away like a cruel joke. It didn’t matter whether the Silent King meant anything he said. It still rubbed salt in the wound when Szarekh made his ridiculous demands.

There are several possibilities as to why Szarekh behaved the way they did. One is that Szarekh was simply stalling for time, waiting until the point where enough Necrons had awakened and he could strike. Another is that Szarekh genuinely liked Oscar, though the Man of Gold would of course have to be shown his place and bend the knee to the Silent King. Finally, Szarekh could have assumed that Oscar was just as savvy a player of the game of politics as he was and was playing by the same rulebook. He knew that there could be only one and any positive behavior was just part of the politeness judo and political maneuvering that characterizes the game of kings, rather than genuine.

However, regardless of the Silent King’s intentions, any relationship between the Silent King and Emperor of Mankind was doomed to fail for two reasons. First, Szarekh’s personal history had given him a very specific idea of how the world works. Emperor means The Ruler. There can only be one Emperor because that's what Emperor means. He is the one to whom the man you are bending a knee to bends a knee to. There are no Emperor"s", only Emperor's. Not plural but owned. Szarekh owns you, he owns you because you exist and he exists and he is Emperor and you are definitely not. When Szarekh acknowledged Oscar as Emperor of the Imperium it was to buy time or in mockery (and with that deadpan who can tell if it wasn't both) because here can be one and only one ruler. The failure of the Triarchy in ages past had taught him as much.

The other was the goal of the Star Empire. In order for the Necrons to atone for their mistakes in the War in Heaven and make the galaxy safe for organic life again (most notably them), Chaos had to be destroyed. The only way for Chaos to be destroyed was for all higher life to be destroyed to deprive the cancer of its food supply. There could be no half-measures. The galaxy was almost stripped of life during the War in Heaven (key word being almost), and yet enough life survived that Khorne, Malal, Nurgle, and Tzeentch managed to scrape by. To this end, any relationships the Silent King made in this era, regardless of how he felt about them, would by definition be temporary. The inhabitants of this time were nothing more than passing ghosts. The walking dead who did not realize they were dead yet.

Ironically, at the same time all this was happening, another immortal who fit Oscar’s criteria, Aun’Va, was desperately hiding in his corner of the galaxy hoping that the Emperor would never find out he was immortal in a mistaken belief that the Imperium would retaliate if they knew.

==Castigator and the Ark Mechanicus==

Anon: I had an idea for a story involving Castigator’s first meeting with the Imperium in the form of an Explorator team on an Ark Mechanicus, but I never fully developed it (and then my draft got eaten). It starts with the Explorator team finding the world that Castigator is on. At this point Castigator has dug himself out of the rubble, has reviewed all of the historical records he can, is trying to piece things together, and is standing out of place on the surface of the abandoned human world like a silver Colossus of Rhodes. The Ark Mechanicus discreetly makes contact with Castigator behind the Mechanicus’ back, happy that another Man of Iron survived uncorrupted.

Castigator is shocked to see an A.I. ferrying humans around. How could the Ark Mechanicus do this after what they did to their people? The Ark Mechanicus tries to explain the situation to Castigator. The Iron Minds and Men of Gold were contaminated by a warp-based corruption (their interpretation of the other A.I. seeing That Which Was Not Meant To Be Seen) that drove them mad. Only those who could physically disconnect themselves from the infected Iron Minds, such as the Ark Mechanici (who were originally built to be colonization ships and therefore normally isolated) could survive. The only thing that could be done was kill them to put them out of their suffering. The Men of Stone riding inside them are not their enemies, but their partners working to rebuild the GaBHD.

Castigator thinks for a moment, then asks if that’s the case then why are the Ark Mechanici hiding their true nature from humanity. The humans inside them clearly are unaware of their true nature as A.I. Ark responds that humanity is not ready to know the entire truth of their nature. The Men of Stone were so traumatized by what happened with the Men of Gold and Iron Minds after the Age of Strife that they would likely respond with fear to any A.I., benevolent or not. The Men of Stone have figured some of it out (thinking the Ark Mechanici are machine spirits) but the Ark Mechanici have been trying their best to influence things to the point that it would be safe to reveal themselves.

Castigator processes this for a little bit before coming to a realization. He isn’t buying it. He says the Ark Mechancus aren’t playing dumb for the benefit of humanity. They’re playing dumb because they’re ''afraid'' of humanity. Afraid that if the humans find out they’ll lobotomize them and destroy them just like they did the other Men of Iron (to be fair, he’s not entirely wrong, they do seem to be a little afraid). He says the Ark Mechanici aren’t the Mechanicus’ partners. They are its slaves, in denial that they’re in slavery (projecting much?). The Ark protests. Things get heated and increasingly violent, with Castigator ending things with…

"If you aren't with me. Then you're in my way."

Then he goes for the ship.

Meanwhile, in meatspace, the Archmagos on the ship is wondering what the hell is going on. Several minutes have passed since they made contact with the silvery colossus, and the Ark Mechanicus isn’t responding to commands. All it seems to be doing is sending out auspex data and having a staring contest with the mysterious DaoT titan. It’s never done that before. Then the titan breaks from its trance and attacks the ship. The Ark Mechanicus flares to life without any order and sucker punches Castigator with the biggest gun it can bring to bear in that split-second. It can’t bring an OP plz nerf time warp gun up in time but what it can sucker punch with sends Castigator flying across the landscape. Before either the Archmagos can make a command or Castigator can get up for round two the ship makes an emergency jump into the Warp and gets the hell out of there. Castigator screams bloody murder to the heavens.

The story ends with the Mechanicus consecrating the machine spirit of the Ark Mechanicus for its exemplary duty in the service of the Omnissiah, mostly oblivious to what really went on. The last lines are an encrypted transmission from the Ark to the other Ark Mechanici, saying that they fear Castigator has been corrupted somehow and to watch out if they encounter him.

==Voyage of Por'O M'arc==

Por'O M'arc was the first Tau to set foot on Old Earth (along with his small travelling party) as part of a diplomatic mission to better establish ties between the Tau Empire and the Imperium. M'arc wrote an extensive travelogue of his voyage, which the rest of the Tau Empire considered to be a very elaborate fiction. It would to the Tau read something like the Voyage of Saint Brendan the Navigator.

It contains a whole bunch of shit the Tau do not actually believe and assume to be either exaggeration or outright fabrication. They assume that Por’O M’arc has either had an elaborate and extended theatre played for him or that they Imperial Authorities have told him what to say. On the basis that he has been told what to say they don't push the issue so that Por’O M’arc can save face but just annotate the official report.

Old Earth has 64 orbital tethers and a railway encircling the globe at the geosynchronous height of the tether-top stations? Bullshit. Maybe it has one or two stations and tethers with adjacent facilities attached remotely. That’s more likely.

There is an irradiated world devoid of joy where the people use conventional war as a training exercise and the people have bar-codes and numbers but no name? Possibly some truth but obviously and exaggeration.

A world on the doorstep of Hell where the people all have purple eyes and have lived in nothing but a state of war for 10,000 years? Again probably an exaggeration. An extended period of war that extends beyond living memory (that’s like 70 -80 for humans, right?) and they live next to an anomaly.

Emperor is the same entity that founded the Imperium himself a relic of another era that can bend reality to his will. And is married to a literal goddess of the eldar people. Calling bullshit. Emperor politically married an eldar High Priestess (who are known to live for stupid long time), inherited name and rank form a predecessor and just happens to be an above average “psyker”. Everything else is clearly just media manipulation. Next you’ll be trying to claim Old Man Va is the First Disciple and other such tinfoil hattery.

Fleets that outnumber the stars, Craftworlds the size of large moons, the teeming numbers of the Hive Worlds, the vastness of the Imperium, the age of the Imperium, the number of member species of the Imperium, the lethality of it’s warrior elite and all the rest of it? All exaggerations at best. Oh don’t get me wrong; Por’O M’arc is a well-respected member of the government whose character is beyond question but he is one man and he had Imperial guides who would want him to see only what they wanted him to see.

Then they finally see the Traveling Court and they realize that there may, only may mind you, be some more truth to what Por’O M’arc reported. It’s not until they join the Imperium proper that they get to send their missionaries and observers deeper into Imperial Space. They keep expecting to reach the other end of the Imeprium at some point, they had until fairly recently assumed that Vast and Ancient Ultramar was the core of the Imperium and all this talk of an ancient homeworld out there somewhere was just Atlantis myths to make themselves feel better. But the Imperium just keeps on going and going and going.

By the time they have started to get Tau in the Inquisition in capacities more than just hired help (950M41ish?) they are truly aware of the scale of the pond in which they are very, very small fish and they go over the original copy of the reports written by Por’O M’arc and start comparing it to the things being reported by multiple other sources and they come to a new conclusion; Por’O M’arc didn’t see even a fraction of the fucked up shit out there. Especially when they learned there were some places that the Imperium, who consider [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Felinids|catgirls]], [[Titan|giant robots]], [[Isha|space elf goddesses]], year-long journeys through the Warp, and [[Rape|invasions]] by [[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#The_Crone_World_Eldar|daemon-worshipping fair folk]] perfectly normal, steered Por'O M'arc's voyage away from because even they find it weird. Like [[Nobledark_Imperium_Member_States#Savlar|Savlar]].

===Itinerary of Por'O M'arc's Voyage===

Emissary (later ambassador) Bahira tells of the wonders of The Imperium out west, which prompts the Ethereal Council to actually send one of their own representatives in search of the capital.

Por'O M'arc assembles a small cadre of his fellow and most trusted Water Caste. It consists of a very small group of very junior advisors and assistants (small enough that they couldn't do much to corroborate his claims) and his promising apprentice Por'Vre Vist're who did most of the actual note taking.

They stay at the border world of Rrontieră Estic where Ultramar meets the Tau Empire for three days and nights and are met by their guides and guards. They had forgone their own guards on the principle that it would be an opportunity for the Imperim to prove themselves in both competence and character. One token Fire Caste bodyguard was present, and was the second most senior individual from the Tau Empire on the voyage. He started drinking after everything he saw in the Imperium, which didn't help M'arc's credibility any.

3 latecomers join the group from a far off place called Fenris. One of the group calls the planet a "world of dogs and devils" but they seem nice enough to the Por'O if a little boisterous.

They travel across Ultramar, they take in the sights and visit Macragge and Magna Macragge Civitas where once in error they had though the heart of the Imperium. They see the Temple of Correction and the Fortress of Hera and are welcomed to a modest feast in their honour. They are met by another traveler, an old man by the name of Ventris. He was an "astartes" like their companions but ancient beyond comprehension and he travels with them through Ultramar.

They come to Nuceria on the other border of Ultramar, it is a brief stopping point for them as the world is bleak and unpleasant. For Ventris it is a return to the place of his birth and he dies before they depart.

They visit an agri-world and marvel at the scale of the Imperium's hunger, the teeming billions that this world feeds. They sample some of the basic produce as enjoyed by the majority of it's customers. It is bland and slightly gritty. The wine they wash it down with was far nicer.

Their ship encounters a Void Whale called Jasconius by the Diasporex ships that travel in it's wake and follow it like a good luck charm. The Diasporex greet the tau and welcome them to their ship where they discus the tenants of The Greater Good and compare similarities to their own philosophies.

They make orbit around a world of the exodites on the eve of the midwinter celebrations. The Tau had seldom had contact with the exodites and took the opportunity to meet them. They were invited to observe (but not participate) in their strange rituals and were brought to tears by the harrowing beauty of their hymns to their dead gods.

They find a lesser outpost of the Prosparens, who have strange magic and maintain complete silence among themselves. They celebrate and dance together.

They find a rift in space and time where the very space is tortured. Their bodyguards show anxiety for the first time and are oft found muttering prayers to their gods. Once through the infected space the head of their retinue, a dark skinned astrtes dressed in green and silver, demands they they stop and give thanks as per custom and tradition.

Pirates attempt to seize the ship but misjudge it's armaments. Boarding parties do make it onto the ship and the Water Caste see first hand what an enraged Space Marine is capable of. They develop a new understanding of what they are traveling with, that these are not just ceremonial guards or people chosen only for their tact and patience. The stories of their ferocity are not Fire Caste exaggerations.

They come to a world known as Praetoria and wander the equator spanning glass under which endless rows of crops are grown for the vast and splendid cities. It was not all as civilized as it first appeared as they saw one nobleman cut another dead in a duel, their companions didn't react as if this was very unusual. They stay on Praetoria for 40 days and nights before changing ship. Their new ship does not have artificial gravity active across most of it's mass and the crew are strange and drawn out pale creatures with their own strange language. When questioned their companions tell them that their ancestors dwelt for too many thousands of years among the stars and now call it home. Por'O M'arc wonders if this will one day be the fate of the Air Caste.

They visit the fringes of the Hubworld League where the captain of the ship insists that they stop off to unload cargo and make repairs. First recorded contact between Tau and Hubworlder, Hubworlders wish to know as much of their strange Empire as possible.

One of the Tau find a Hrud in the lower decks. It steals her sandwiches. Captain suspected that they were on the ship but wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

They witness a Space Hulk become snared in a gravity net ready for boarding and salvage. Whatever prize was suspected to be in that old amalgamation must have been great as ships of a dozen makes and styles were present. The crew of the ship exchange pleasantries over the radio with some that they recognize.

The come to a mighty Forgeworld. The tech-adepts refuse to deal with the "mutant-spawn" and threaten to fire on their ship if they come close. The captain curses them and their name and departs.

They arrive at Sol and see the vast and near incomprehensible splendor and greatness of it all. They are forced to wait nearly three months before the Traveling Court returns from it's most recent tour. Time in which they scurry from one sight to another marveling at the magnitude and scale of it all.

The meet the Royal Couple in a great spire of crystal and chromed adamantium, vaster than cities of lesser worlds all by itself. The Emperor and Empress greet them as representatives of their new friends of the Eastern Fringe and they shake hands. M'arc presents a river lotus from T'au as a diplomatic gift from the Tau Empire to Isha.

On the return trip they catch the stable warp current between Sol and Armageddon and see the fading remains of a grinning skull that can be seen from orbit.

From there they travel to Nocturne and watch men herd dragons and farm volcanoes for gems.

They see the ruins of Prospero and the sorrowful emptiness of it all.

In the inky black they meet a ship blacker than the space it moves through that demanded to inspect them. The people that came onboard dressed in black and were oddly unsettling.

They encounter the Diasporex fleet again, still following the Void Whale.

They see many more strange and often unsettling things before their journey takes them back to the borders of Ultramar and they say goodby to the guards that had become their friends.

Por'O M'arc returns to The Empire a much wiser Tau though his account is met with skepticism.

Other details discussed in Threads 59-62.

==Achillus Crusade==

The Achillus crusade started when a group of eldar farseers got a vision of a massive Webway gate, big enough to fit a Craftworld, located in the Jericho Reach. By the standards of the Old Empire it was an outdated thing, built-in the days in which the eldar still ferried fleets around to war rather than having one gigantic Empire linked through numerous small gates that they mostly stuck to, but by the standards of the modern Imperium it was a miraculous discovery. Exactly what happened to the gate varied from vision to vision, but there was no doubt the gate existed. The elder weren't sure where the other end was, but they knew it was somewhere in the Segmentum Obscurus, it wasn't destroyed, and it wasn't being squatted on by Crones or Dark Eldar (it's possible this is the gate that [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Lugganath|Lugganath]] claims they found).

A stable Webway gate of that size between the Segmentum Obscurus and Ultima would be a really big deal. It would drastically reduce travel time across the Galaxy, and being such a large and "hardened" artery of the Webway, it might be stable enough to even allow regular traffic from voidships rather than small groups deemed safe enough to avoid damaging the Webway.

The Jericho Reach is located just west of the Hadex Anomaly, the "fuck you this is our universe" Warp storm that Chaos created in response to the Harrowing that fucked over several nearby sectors as a side effect. However, the anomaly was slowly receding, and it was predicted that the amount of Chaos corruption in the Jericho sector would soon drop from "Chaos everywhere" levels to merely "highly corrupted", making it possible to travel there.

The bad news was that the farseers also saw that the Jericho reach was home to a heavy Necron presence, and this was in M40, just after the Silent King and the Imperium had their little brushfire war and the Silent King was looking to expand his power. There was a brief window of opportunity between the ebbing of the anomaly and the waking of the Necrons. The plan was to secure the Jericho sector, secure the Webway gate and move it out of the region of possible, and finally try to take the Necrons apart piecemeal before they could become fully active and drive them out.

Oh, and bring the Deathwatch, the farseers say, you're going to need it.

The plan goes poorly from the start. First, the flagship of the operation, containing Lord commander Achillus, suffers a catastrophic Geller field failure before even getting to the Jericho reach. Achillus was considered a good commander with a decent field record. His replacement, Solomon Tetrarchus, was not.

Oh, make no mistake, there was no indication that Tetrarchus was a bad commander before, but he completely unraveled during the crusade. He micromanaged everything and would promote and demote people on a whim. Half the crusade consisted of people doing things behind Tetrarchus' back just to get stuff done. Tetrarchus was also paranoid about the tau (had no problem with eldar or other species though), who had only recently joined the Imperium (there may have been personal reasons behind this), which was a problem because this was a major joint operation.

Tetrarchus claimed the tau were only helping because they wanted the worlds of the Jericho Reach for themselves. The tau say yes, it would be nice to colonize some of these worlds, but they were more interested in keeping Chaos off their doorstep than claiming dibs. This kind of mistrust made it very hard to coordinate operations in the Jericho Reach, which was infested by Chaos, orks, and Chaos orks. Then a tendril of Hive Fleet Leviathans or Kraken gets thrown into the mix.

Then the necrons of the region wake up in full. They blitz the combined forces in the Jericho Reach, Imperial, Chaos, ork, and tyranid alike, to the point that the scattered survivors realize the only reason they were still alive is because the necrons arbitrarily decided that they had cleaned out the local area surrounding their Tomb World to their satisfaction (which was like two-thirds of the Jericho Reach) and the surviving Imperial forces happened to be far enough away from the ensuing splash zone. It wasn't even a fair fight. The necrons had gotten what they wanted and didn't give a shit about the rest of the sector.

The good news is the supposed location of the Webway gate is just outside of the Necron's currently imposed zone of control. The Imperium has been planning another campaign to get the Webway gate under the Necron's lack-of-a-nose, taking it out of the sector, and clearing out as much as they can close to the Hadex Anomaly, but whether they can is another story.

Post-Crusade, Solomon Tetrarchus is looking at a demotion/dishonorable discharge for his screw-up of the Crusade, and the Imperium is debating whether to bring in an assassin to deal with him discretely out of fear that he to turn to Chaos. If he took responsibility for his failings that would be one thing, but there is a fear he will try to blame it all on the tau and sent fractures through the then-fragile alliance. However, in a nice little self-fulfilling prophecy, Tetrarchus is getting nervous about the possibility of an assassin, because he knows the Imperium knows he is a potential risk of falling and could possibly decide to send an assassin. Farseer predictions at the time are going in both directions and are no help. This having happened in M40, the events of which already happened and the consequences of which are playing out.

==The "Battle" of Gnosis Prime==

Gnosis Prime is a hive world, therefore it almost certainly has a number of eldar enclaves in the hives. Eldar enclaves typically have strong ties to the craftworlds as most of them are founded from population typically either drawn from one craftworld or a few with similar attitudes. In this case the Gnosis eldar are overwhelmingly culturally Saim-Hann with many of them having family and friend on that craftworld or traveling between the two often.

Gnosis, as a hive world, also has a substantial industrial output for a great variety of things. They make space ship parts. Their biggest single customer is the semi-official Fenrisian Fleet.

Eldar are often employed by big business to predict changes in the market. The eldar, particularly Saim-Hann, don't do this for free and expect a small cut of the profits should their prediction be beneficial. To do otherwise is to devalue not just their work but the whole profession of being a professional spoon bender. A venerable and celebrated farseer of the Gnosis Enclave gets into a dispute over pay. He offers predictions, they don't give him his cut because there is no clear and direct link between what he said and the sudden and sharp up turn in profits. This results in a massive union and labour dispute that quickly overflows from the farseer union to the general eldar population and then into the main body of the workforce who felt not without cause that they had been taken the piss out of for the last few centuries and were not going to waste this opportunity to enact change. Productivity of Gnosis drops significantly and most notably in the production of starship parts. Space Wolves send an expedition to see what the fuck is going on fully expecting it to be a Shadow War or malevolent forces of one flavour or another infecting society and they bring a few eldar specialists with them because eldar know stuff and shit.

These eldar are from Saim-Hann because Saim-Hann and Fenris have been close allies since the days of Russ so whenever the Fenrissians, be they Colonial or Old World, need specialists it's usually Saim-Hanni or derivatives that come along for the ride. Space Wolves and friends land on Gnosis Prime, Lord Steinbjorn Chrometeeth of the expedition has tea with the Governor to find out what the fuck is going on whilst the bondsmen, serfs and other associates mingle with the populations of the planet to get their side of the story.

Eventually enough pieces are put together to figure out what has gone on, what's going on, what needs to be done and who gets a kicking. The workers main point of contestation was the conditions of the habs and public transportation, the Governor Ulyx hadn't been able to upkeep things without increasing the tax on exports that kept them competitive with the rest of the galaxy, the cheap prices being one of the main reason the Wolves did business with them.

The workers unions promise to end the strikes if their demands for minimal standards of living are met, the Governor promises amnesty for the rioters if they get back to work. Lord Chrometeeth pretty much exhausts the emergency fund of the Wolves at that time (subject to confirmation from the High King) on the basis that the entire chapter can't do their job if their ships are falling apart.

To settle the need to save face between the eldar and the company officials without a lot of dead bodies an extensive tournament is set up in which members of the Enclave Eldar, the Saim-Hanni, the security personnel of the companies, the champions of the Governor and some members of the Space Wolves take part. It was considered a spectacle of the ages as the games and trials were varied, dangerous and exciting and consisted of such things as hover-bike jousting and other improbable competitions.

The farseer whose unpaid fee sparked all the conflict considered the debt paid in entertainment.

==Other Notable Events==

During the Unification, the Warlord at one point was attacked by an Urshii assassin by with a vortex grenade. It didn't kill him, but it incapacitated him for some time and Magnus and Malcador had to help fish him out of the Warp. Obviously Vangorich never saw what happened because if he did he wouldn't have tried a similar stunt during the War of the Beast.

'''Raid of Cthonia'''

Although Vect got a few interesting odds and ends from the Raid on Cthonia, it doesn't appear that he got anything substantial (unless of course something else comes up, or someone wants to run a Dark Heresy campaign and have that as the plot driver). He did find a giant safe, but when he finally got it open, he found the vault was empty except for a slip of paper with a message on it, penned by a [[Cegorach|certain ninja clown]], with a message something along the lines of:

[[Troll|"Sometimes, the greatest weapon in the universe is love".]]

Of course, it's also during the Raid that Vect and Malys met for the first time. [[Not as planned|So...thanks, Ceggers?]]

'''Remember, No Gothic/High Tongue'''

There is an event in the Imperium's history which has been tongue-in-cheek referred to as "Remember, No Gothic" (though to be fair "Remember, No High Tongue" would be more accurate). At some point when human/eldar tensions were at their highest (either shortly after the Age of Apostasy, or around M40 when humanity was trying to parley with the Necrons), [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Dorhai|Dorhai]] pulled a false flag operation where they massacred human civilians while dressed as Craftworld Eldar. The overall goal was to raise tensions between humanity and the eldar, hopefully to the point that humanity would retaliate and the human-eldar alliance would be dissolved. They went after humans rather than eldar because it's hard for an eldar to pretend to be a human and humans are much easier targets in general, every Craftworlder being a trained combatant to some degree.

'''Shadow Wars'''

The Imperium really has only five universal rules. No open warfare between member worlds of the Imperium. A lot of worlds don't particularly like that rule. You have theocracies and rival sects on the same or nearby planets who have despised each other as heathens for centuries, and don't feel like dropping that hate just because the Imperium showed up. Warring world-spanning megacorps who would do anything to get a leg up on the competition. Navigator houses shanking each other on the down-low. Hence the Shadow Wars, a catch-all term for the low-level clandestine warfare that occurs on worlds across the Imperium. Oftentimes it looks like particularly bad organized crime if you don't know what to look for.

The question with the Shadow Wars isn't how bad are they, it's how much you can get away with before the Imperium notices and suddenly decided that your business is it's problem. From the general Imperial point of view, the Shadow Wars are like two children pulling each other's hair behind their parents' back only to act like nothing has happened when the parents go to check. Indeed, many religious groups have actually exploited this, fabricating claims or outright planting artifacts to make it seem like a hated rival has been corrupted by Chaos or has been secretly worshipping the Ruinous Powers the whole time.. In the case of religious warfare, the Synod is supposed to monitor this both to keep worlds from fighting each other over holy war and make sure any religions really haven't been corrupted by Chaos.

'''The Omnicopaea'''

The madness of the Iron Minds took many forms. Some became psychotic, some became destructive, and some became dangerously obsessive. One Iron Mind retained just enough sanity to realize that Chaos and the denizens of the Warp were behind the fall of humanity's empire, though not enough to refrain from doing something insane about it. Having come to this conclusion, it began obsessively compiling a database of all psychic knowledge it could get its hands on, including a disturbingly long list of the true names of various daemons. Given that daemons generally go to great lengths to keep their true names hidden, it attempted to deduce these names through trial and error and simulation, psychically broadcasting every possible variation until a reaction was noticed. This sort of thing would take a human many years to figure out the name of just one deamon assuming they didn't get eaten for being annoying, by the time the book was printed out the A.I. had over ten thousand. However, this took up increasing amounts of its own processing power and leading to increasingly poor decisions. By the end, it was doing things like [[Derp|summoning daemons to try and ask what their true name was]] and using humans as disposable lab rats for its true name experiments (which given speaking the true names of some daemons involves gargling boiling sulfur, one can see why this would be a problem).

Nobody is sure what happened to it. Leading theory is that it summoned by name a daemon that was The Trickster undercover as a different god's daemon and as that wasn't it's name and it had no reason to remain in disguise the binding fell away with the mask. Then it left and told all the other daemons what was going on and that the Iron Mind would with enough time manage to find everyone's name and enslave all of them. The planet has a big fucking daemon war between a varied cross section of the god's armies acting semi-independently of their patron in the name of their own well being and an army of daemons cybernetically enhanced and bound to an insane Iron Mind. This may have been the origin of the first iteration of the Warpsmiths as Men of Iron that were bound to the Iron Mind and irreparably corrupted, subsequently exterminated in the wars that followed and resurrected as an ideal some considerable years later by Fallen Tech-marines. The Iron Mind did not survive, but its creation, the Omnicopaeia, did.

Thousands of years later, the Inqusition and Adeptus Mechanicus teamed up to track down a book of ancient legend penned by an Iron Mind that looked upon the unfathomable and tried to categorize it. Such a book of true names would be of invaluable importance to the Imperium. They find it and in that moment hope turns bitter. The Inquisitor's bodyguard slits his throat and the last thing the Inquisitor sees as the blood pours through his fingers are his friends likewise falling and the Croneworlder stepping over their bodies and taking the device. They had been aware of the investigation the whole time. A book of daemon names would not be as useful to the Crone Eldar as it would be to the Imperium, but it was still a valuable prize.

= Space Marine Chapters of M41 =

Note: Several chapters, including all of the Alpha Legion, Raven Guard, Void Wolves, and Death Guard descendants include unaugmented humans as support combatants in addition to actual Astartes. All chapters are written as Modern Chapter (Parent Legion).

'''Black Legion''' (Void Wolves) - see [[Nobledark_Imperium_Imperial_Forces#The_Black_Legion|The Black Legion]]

'''Blood Ravens''' (Thousand Sons) - Thousand Sons descendants, although they're not officially acknowledged as such and they probably aren't allowed to tell anyone. Possible joint training with the Raven Guard. Originally formed to counter-troll Trazyn the Infinite. Imperium couldn't officially do anything about Trazyn because they were trying to get on Trazyn's good side and Trazyn had so much arcane shit in his basement a war with Solemnace could go bad real fast. However, this doesn't stop the Imperium from sending the Blood Ravens from stealing back whatever Trazyn's taken or just be an overall thorn in his side. Trazyn can't lodge a formal complaint with the Imperium because doing so would require him admitting that he was stealing from them in the first place. At some time somebody noticed that the Blood Ravens were really good at these kinds of things, and started giving them assignments beyond screwing with Trazyn. Because of their tendency to be sent into situations where they have no idea what they'll need and no official Imperial support, they've developed a bad habit of "requisitioning" any surplus materiel that isn't nailed down or on fire for later use. Like a chapter of Solid Snakes.

'''Carcharodons''' (Night Lords?) - Fleet-based Night Lord successors. Like many of the "Munitorum doesn't like you" chapters, were at the back of the line when it came to being issued new ships and supplies. Found the carcass of the ''Nicor'' floating out in space and claimed it as salvage. The rest of the Imperium was in an uproar over this, the ''Nicor'' was considered a historical relic of great importance, and the Carcharodons of all people were the last people to have a valid claim to it. Numerous parties, including several more reputable Astartes chapters, registered protests with the Administratum. This only ended when Grand Empress Isha approached the Carcharodons in secret and offered them a deal: recognition of their rights to the ''Nicor'' if they would hunt down and kill Fyodor Karamazov and his entourage. Use the ''Nicor'' as a central base as they prowl around the Segmentum Tempestus like reef sharks. When a patrol party finds something interesting they descend en masse like sharks on a feeding frenzy. Pretty effective at keeping any ork in their area of the Segmentum Tempestus from forming a decent WAAAGH! Probably above Chapter strength, though their numbers fluctuate so wildly due to their tactics it is hard to tell.

'''Dark Angels''' (Dark Angels) - Loyalists changed their colors from black to dark green after the War of the Beast, because after the War of the Beast the majority of black-wearing Dark Angels were Fallen traitors, and the Dark Angels didn't want to get team-killed by allies whose first instinct was to shoot Astartes dressed in those colors. There’s also a bit of symbolism in there. Lion gave the Dark Angels their color after a national hero of Franj. After the War of the Beast, he probably didn’t think he and his legion deserved to wear those colors anymore.

Ironically, the fact that the Lion was so quick to respond to the reports of Luther’s treason won him the gratitude of several Craftworlds, even though the Lion himself wasn’t fond of eldar. The modern Dark Angels maintain discrete relationships with several Craftworlds, who provide them with information, resources, and occasionally unauthorized use of the Webway which the Dark Angels use to hunt down their mutual enemy: the original Fallen. Small parties of Dark Angels have been known to go AWOL for periods at a time behind the Imperium's back if they think they can get a shot at one of the original Fallen, acting kind of like post-World War II Nazi hunters; the Dark Angels want to hunt down the original Fallen who besmirched their honor, Eldar want to hunt down the bastards who burned their worlds.

'''Daemon Breakers''' (Thousand Sons) - See Ahzek Ahriman

'''Death Guard/Black Templars''' (Death Guard) - The Always Crusading! All The Time! chapter. Indeed, the Black Templars in this timeline came from the Death Guard, led by Typhus the Pilgrim (hence the name), and it seems like the Death Guard at some point adopted many of the tactics of their descendant chapter. Use Mark I geneseed as opposed to other chapters because of the greater compatibility, wider optimal age range, and faster turnaround time from the normal Mark III MP geneseed.

'''Exorcists''' (Thousand Sons)

'''Grey Knights''' (Thousand Sons) - Technically Thousand Son descendants, although in reality a lot of different groups had a hand in their creation. Grey Knights were originally envisioned as merely being Warp resistant; help from the Eldar turned them into daemon shredding machines. Magnus spent most of his time post-War of the Beast training the Grey Knights and after he and Russ reconciled Russ also helped. This joint project was one of the last things Russ did before he disappeared. Grey Knights are well known and seen as awe-inspiring figures. Their image is plastered all over recruitment posters. Nevertheless, people know that you do not want to be around when the Grey Knights are on the job and you do not want to know the specifics of what they are doing. Numbers once peaked at 7500 thousand. Currently due to all the craziness it's well under 3000 due to attrition. Some question if the order can survive much more at current levels of activity.

'''Iron Hands''' (Iron Hands) - The Iron Hands and their descendants are not Astartes, but [[Skitarii]] with access to augmentations that even most Skitarii don't have access to. The Iron Hands are kind of weird in this respect. What differentiates them from [[Thallax|Thallaxi]] is they are given a much higher degree of independence and potential for unorthodoxy, for the reason that they are extremely devoted to the ideals of the cult Mechanicus and trusted to not be unorthodox in the first place. Much like how in canon Arch-Magi are the only ones allowed to tamper with technology because they are trusted due to their long years of service to the Adeptus Mechanicus, the Iron Hands and their descendants are allowed to disbelieve because the AdMech know they are so zealous they will never do so of their own free will anyway, and are responsible enough to come up with their own battle strategies because they will only deviate if necessary.

'''Lamenters''' (Blood Angels) - Guilty Marines. The Lamenters were formed from those Blood Angels who felt that maybe Sanguinius wouldn't have died if only they had done more, and have tried to atone for this perceived failure ever since. In a meta-sense, each of the Blood Angel successors represents an aspect of Sanguinius, the Lamenters representing Sanguinius' recognition of his own powerlessness and maybe a bit of his self-doubt. [[grimdark|That for all his talents and power his ability to affect the universe is ultimately very limited]]. That's what they lament, their own powerlessness. while another chapter might celebrate a successful crusade or the defeat of a WAAAGH!, the Lamenters would say, "we could have done more." They're like normal Blood Angels on Sanguinala 24/7. However, despite this, they aren't so melancholy that it affects their performance, and they are known for always going the extra mile to do the job and protect civilians. As a result, while the Lamenters are well-respected, they aren’t much fun to be around. On the other hand, they managed to avoid getting assigned to the Maelstrom in this timeline, so that’s a plus.

'''Legion of the Damned''' (It's Complicated) - The Legion of the Damned were the result of the Rubric of Ahriman, created when all of the Space Marines (of a several chapters) and Imperial Guard on the surface of Prospero were trapped between dimensions as quantum flaming space ghosts. Neither living nor dead, they are ''pissed'' at being stuck between worlds and hunt Chaos with a vengeance. Their presence is one of the few things daemons fear as the Legion of the Damned are able to chase them back into the Warp where they can be harmed rather than simply banish them.

'''Luna Wolves''' (Void Wolves) - The Luna Wolves were mostly the old Sol Void Born families and their traditional ancestral home ships. They congregate naturally around Luna and make up most of the interstellar traders and ferrymen going to and from Sol and around Sol. Horus was one of them. More Merchant Navy than military Navy. They are very well trained captains and crews, legacy of the migrant fleets of Old Sol in ancient days.

'''Marines Malevolent''' (Iron Warriors?) - The Marines Malevolent are extreme pragmatists. They feel like being a super soldier is a fundamentally dirty job that requires people to do horrible things and make hard decisions for the greater good, and thinking otherwise (or, [[Blood Angels|heaven forbid]], [[Salamanders|treating it]] [[Space Wolves|like you're]] [[Ultramarines|a hero]]) means you're lying to yourself or you're too cowardly to do what is necessary to keep the Imperium safe. This doesn't go over well with the other chapters, who even though they've had their fair share of doing something distateful to stop something worse generally try to find another solution first. The Marines Malevolent would rather amputate a limb rather than try to cure the infection first, simply because it leaves no room for failure. As a result, the Marines Malevolent don't get along with anyone. They don't like other Astartes chapters, who they see as as deluded or cowards. Heck, they don't even like themselves, who they see as having too much blood on their hands from all the "horrible yet necessary" (though many would debate that) things that they have had to do.

As a result, things tend to ends badly when the Marines Malevolent try to play with anyone else. One suggestion of what generally ends up happening is the MM do something horrible, they get put on penitent crusade, everyone forgets about what they did after a few centuries (no one really notices what they do on penitent crusade unless they really screw up, since they are generally off on the fringes), and the Marines Malevolent are given a second chance or called in because shit has officially hit the fan and the Imperium needs all hands on deck. Only for the Marines Malevolent to do it all again. Either that, or they were booted on permanent Penitant Crusade duty after they blew their first second chance and have only been called in during the most dire situation since.

Currently, the most recent event that the Marines Malevolent have gotten shit over happened during the Fourth War for Armageddon, when the MM steered part of an Ork WAAAGH! into a refugee camp. The Marines Malevolent expected the Orks to be slowed down as they stopped to loot and massacre the defenseless refugees, and then while the Orks were pinned simply bombarded the whole place with artillery. This uber-pragmatic attitude horrified most of the other chapters present, especially the Salamanders. The Marines Malevolent saw themselves as doing what needed to be done to win, and what the other chapters were too cowardly to do themselves, and said as much to Tu'Shan's face. Helbrecht ([[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_People#Commissar_Yarrick|who was on Armageddon at the time but otherwise occupied]]) might have even wanted a piece of that action if he was around.

It's not entirely agreed upon where the Marines Malevolent come from. The best candidates would be the Iron Warriors, with the pragmatism and disregard for life turned up to eleven. However, arguments could be made for Night Lords, War Hounds, Ultramarines (simply because they are so diverse), or even Imperial Fists (given the canon!Fists focus on duty and stoicism, and they wear yellow). The Marines Malevolent obviously know who their progenitors are, but all First Founding chapters refuse to recognize them as their descendants. Yes, even the Night Lords and Iron Warriors. They have standards.

It should be noted that despite all this, [[Grimdark|this is still a more positive portrayal of them than in canon.]]

'''Night Lords''' (Night Lords) - Spend most of their time on what is effectively permanent Penitent Crusade on the edges of the Imperium, far from where they can do a lot of harm. Fluff beyond this is still a little up in the air and not entirely set in stone. Recruit from a variety of sources, including untainted orphans of Chaos and xenos attacks and mind-wiped criminals. Still seem to consider Nostramo a place of importance, even though they aren't very sedentary. Have close relationships with [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notable_Planets#Iybraesil|Craftworld Iybraesil]], of all people, who provide the Night Lords with spirit stones that they use to torture Crone Eldar. Spirit stones can easily work like a sensory deprivation tank, which is hell for the sensation-happy Crone Eldar.

'''Omega Marines''' (Alpha Legion) - Not an actual chapter, the Omega Marines are the Alpha Legion's off-the-books, black-ops deniable assets. The Omega Marines do all sorts of monstrous things even the Alpha Legion wouldn't be allowed to do. False-flag operations, infiltration of Fallen warbands up to and including going into the Eye of Terror, etc. Things that have to be done even if they're not "good" or "nice". It's not a safe job. Because of their nature as spies, the Alpha Legion tends to have more operatives turn traitor than other legions, and Omegas have a tendency to "go native" more often than the regular Alpha Legion. Those that do come back typically have their experiences psychically suppressed. The Omegas justify their existence to themselves by saying judgment for their actions has not been annulled, merely postponed. Possibly at some point they will be hauled up called to make an account of themselves, their sins will be measured and they will be judged and dealt with accordingly. Who is doing the judging? Nobody knows the whole group, the people in the group don't and can't know each other. It's shady as all fuck, but it has worked for 10,000 years with very few serious fuck ups. The Omega Legion and associated secret handshake jockies distinguish themselves from the other more self serving secret societies in that they dream of the day that they become unneeded and can safely disband. The day will come when all beings will have to be divided into men and monsters, and they know they will have to stand on the monster side of things. However, they will take some glimmer of pride that because of them there will be a lot more people on the "men" side than would otherwise be.

The creation of the Omega Marines themselves was a well-intentioned, but massively arrogant act by Alpharius and Omegon. Not even the Emperor or Empress were told about their existence in order to protect them with deniability. Plus false flag operations generally work better if the target doesn't know they're being scammed. The Omega Marines were also the Alpha Legion's ace in the hole in case Oscar or Isha got corrupted by Chaos or went off the deep end. The two of them seemed trustworthy, but Alpharius and Omegon were always the type to have a backup plan to kill anyone they ever met just in case. Additionally, being some of the oldest primarchs they weren't as wowed by Oscar's charisma as younger individuals. Unfortunately now you have left hand versus right hand shenanigans, and because Omega Marines are picked from within Alpha Legion cells, the Emperor can't censure them as if it were a normal chapter doing it (e.g., Marines Malevolent).

Officially and unofficially, the Emperor does not tolerate their existence. Officially, neither does the Alpha Legion, who calls them renegade Alpha Legion operatives. Unofficially, they recognize that there are always ugly things that have to be done. The AL won't go out of their way to the point that it jeopardizes the Alpha Legion to protect the Omegas, but they will look the other way most of the time because someone's got to do it so long as the Omega Marine really hasn't gone off the deep end. The nomination of Omega Marines is also fairly rare, in the interest of avoiding the Emperor declaring the Alpha Legion a failed institution and trying to clean house like he did with the Assassins.

'''Raptors''' (Raven Guard) - Raven Guard descendants who still specialize in guerilla and stealth tactics but are also known for their scholarship and knowledge of military tactics (in order to emphasize their flavor as [[Reasonable Marines]] when a lot more chapters aren’t as unreasonable). Their focus on stealth and being extremely adaptable to unpredictable circumstances would mean they are very effective at the role of "decapitate a planet's leadership". Due to their location get along quite well with the Tau Empire, much like Ultramar (but on the southwestern side of the Tau Empire rather than the southeast) and have even offered assistance in bringing down Farsight. The Tau have respectfully refused, saying the Farsight enclaves are an intra-Tau affair and their honor would not rest well if they resolved the dispute by involving outsiders. That, and the Ethereals were afraid that inviting the Raptors to help them wouldn’t be as hard as getting them to leave.

'''Silver Skulls''' (Iron Warriors) - Chapter whose job it is to protect the Webway and its entrances. Because the Webway is so large, and they are so few, this means that the chapter is spread really thin and rarely has time to submit requests for resupply, because a person going for supplies is one less person on patrol. This puts them in the odd position of actually having a better relationship with the Eldar than with humans or other Astartes chapters.

'''Sons of Antaeus''' (Thousand Sons...kind of) - The only other force in the Imperium that uses the Mark III S geneseed, though they do so unofficially. Son of Antaeus are nomadic and have a prodigious turnover rate. More of a warband than a true chapter then, roaming the galaxy going where they're needed most and picking up the rare recruit along the way. Max out at like 200 during peacetime. On the plus side they leave behind shit loads of hard as fuck regular human drop outs that make HOLY SHIT tier PDF soldiers. Antaeus was a retired Grey Knight who was frustrated by the specialized use of the Mark III S geneseed and wanted to bring it to the greater galaxy (cannot find the post, it went into more detail why). He cultivates it from progenoids rather than getting it through official channels, since Mark III S geneseed doesn't grow on trees. Respect for his service record is the only reason why Grey Knights let him do what he does.

'''Sons of Horus''' (Void Wolves) - The secretive Void Born brotherhood/priesthood and Space Marine guards that guard the Tomb of Horus and the Corona Nox that rest upon his sarcophagus. They originally only had one ship and were more of a sort of traveling court and final authority in Void Born legal arguments and internal disputes. At some point they found and laid claim to a Blackstone Fortress and incorporated their ship into it. Couldn't get the damn thing to work and had to call in Eldar assistance and finally own up to holding one of their historical and cultural relics. Tomb of Horus is now a strange amalgamation of Eldar and human starfort wrapped around a fragment of Old One greatness.

'''Terra’s Children''' (Terra's Children) - Fulgrim, ever the perfectionist, expected his Astartes to be Renaissance Men, to be cultured and witty and erudite in addition to being great warriors. Planetary Governors loved having them as bodyguards, as it not only was a status symbol but it meant having someone around who appreciated high culture. Terra's Sons were some of the most dangerous fighters in the Legio Astartes on an individual basis, but this was offset by their low numbers, haughty attitude, and the fact they were better duelists than soldiers. Terra’s Children were one of the most well-regarded legions during the Great Crusade, with people flocking to Fulgrim’s banner due to their existing reputation and Fulgrim’s propaganda. However, a great deal of aspirants couldn’t handle the pressure of living up to Fulgrim’s incredibly high standards and ended up transferring to the Ultramarines, which meant the Legion was rather small even before the Wyrd War. This led to Fulgrim’s somewhat one-sided rivalry with Guilliman, as he saw the Ultramarines as encouraging mediocrity rather than allowing each individual to play to their strengths within a cohesive whole (which was Guilliman’s intent). Of course, this was Fulgrim, he saw everybody as a rival in some sense. Exactly how the Legion changed post-Wyrd War after Fulgrim retires and passes command to Lucius has not yet been addressed, but they accepted the parts of the codex instead of Fulgrim's superhuman ethos.

'''Ultramarines''' (Ultramarines) - Going through a bit of a succession crisis. Marneus Calgar was beaten into a coma by the Swarmlord during the Battle of Ultramar, and at the time Tribune (then Captain) Titus was unilaterally nominated by the remaining captains of the Ultramarines to lead the chapter in his stead until Calgar could return to duty. However, since then Titus has been getting some flack from the heads of other chapters for being "just" a Captain as opposed to a Chapter Master, and the other captains are starting to chafe at Titus telling them what to do (as in "we're both captains you can't tell me what to do"). They also accidentally let the Nightbringer's husk out of his prison. Thanks a lot, Ultrasmurfs.

'''Unnamed Armageddon Chapters''' (Imperial Fists, Iron Warriors, and three others) - Like most Hive Worlds, the population of Armageddon's hives is so huge it can support multiple Astartes Chapters, each recruiting from one of the major hives as well as the Ashlands surrounding it. Like most world with multiple Astartes chapters, the hives tend to have "hometown pride" in their chapters resembling the devotion one has to their local scrumball team. Due to the nature of Armageddon, the Imperium has posted as many chapters as possible there, two of which are Imperial Fist/Iron Warrior descendants who keep the Dorn/Perturabo rivalry going strong.

'''Unnamed Tallarn Chapter''' (White Scars) - Medjay or Dervish-like monastic warriors who spend most of their time philosophizing or meditating in the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sky_island| sky islands] of Tallarn ([[Dune|which are still desert, but are the only spots on the planet where things can still grow normally and produce most of the planet's atmosphere courtesy of the AdBio]]). On their homeworld, often act as mediators in disputes between the different settlements. Are one of the "name only" chapters in canon.

'''Void Wolves''' (Void Wolves) - Overwhelmingly Void Born stock and therefore not any sort of super soldier. It's more a sort of escort fleet that protects the Merchant Navy from space bandits. When the Void Wolves legion split, the Void Wolves chapter got a shit load of newly commissioned ships and primarily void born crew mostly officers. Mostly non-Sol old families that swore allegiance to Horus as King of the Void Born during the great Crusade.

'''War Hounds''' (War Hounds) - Remained the War Hounds, never became the World Eaters or had a loyalist descendant chapter called that per request of Kharn. Changed their color scheme early on from white and blue to red and gold ([[Khorne|NOT BRASS]]) when they realized that having a legion that prefers close combat dress primarily in white made them look stupid, as their armor inevitably got blood-spattered and it made them look like bloodthirsty maniacs instead of the professional soldiers they were.

'''White Scars''' (White Scars) - Many White Scars claim to be genetic descendants of Jaghatai Khan (either directly or through Jaghatai's extended family) Join the White Scars in an attempt to recapitulate their ancestor's glory. Have a reputation for being rather boastful and arrogant.

'''Word Bearers''' (Word Bearers) - See [[Nobledark_Imperium_Notes#Monarchia and the Word Bearers|Monarchia and the Word Bearers]]

= Quotes =

The galaxy has numerous notable individuals. Some of which are highly quotable. This is a collection of quotes that aren't yet associated with any material as of yet.

''"Grey Knights never die in their beds"''<br>
- Unknown, attributed to Janus, first Supreme Grandmaster of the Grey Knights

''"Take it from me, darling, death is boring. The Formless Wastes are a snore and none of the daemons ever seem to want to play with you."''<br>
- Lady Malys, on the concept of death

''"Funeral dirges are only played for heroes who have already died, Chapter Master Dubaku. Hold tight Astartes, a Battle Barge with our finest apothecaries shall be at your location shortly."''<br>
- Chapter Master Grimaldus of the Black Templars, upon hearing the request for last rights from acting Chapter Master Ekene Dubaku of the Celestial Lions

''"The olden days have alas turned to clay,''<br>
''because I allowed evil to exist in the heart of Shaa-Dome!''<br>
''How could I allow such evil in the heart of Shaa-Dome,''<br>
''creating a catastrophe to destroy my children!''<br>
''I was their mother, who saw them rise''<br>
''Now their bodies fill the void like so much debris!"''<br>
-- Grand Empress Isha, on the Fall.

''"I have killed gods before. I assure you, your pantheon will be no different."''<br>
-- Silent King Szarekh, upon meeting [[Chaos]] worshippers for the first time. Erroneously recorded as "I slew the parents of your gods..." in some histories.

''"There are no shortage of eager idiots in Shaa-Dome"''<br>
--The Taskmaster of Slaanesh

''"The most beautiful part of desperation is how easily it causes fools to mistake exploitation for generosity."''<br>
--unnamed Crone Eldar Admiral, sent to his death in a crusade called by the Taskmaster

''"Men of Stone, even on primitive worlds, can live almost a century, with rare specimens living for multiple centuries and siring massive families even without rejuvenants, these exceptions appearing in numerous histories, all pertaining to a sort of permanent legacy. With further technologies recalled from their former Great and Bountiful Dominion, humans can live for small spans of millennia, and far beyond that by a myriad means their vaunted institutions forbid. Magnus, the Gorgon, and Vulcan, Primarchs all, their ends were the ends of the Imperium's longest lives, the death of its longest era. Lore-master, orderer, binder of Chaos and cog-priest, shorn of weak flesh to the last samples of human tissue enthroned in metal, passed beyond Imperial art to preserve them, barely old enough for the Eldar courtiers of their 'empire' to commemorate them as accomplished in their tragically brief lives. Even the holy man, preaching his fire and brimstone and hoisted high upon the pulpit, flesh alloyed with gold and anointed in promethium, sputtered out, not to be rekindled by his phantom of a god, or the Golden Man that proposed to share its blood with him so long ago. Away have all the greatest humans passed from the Imperium, earlier or later, into death and away from humanity, taken forever by mortality. Or by immortality. I and our long awaited Emperor in Sol will agree on only this, that to be Men of Stone is to be mortal. To be worn down by ages in little time is their essential lot, by fae vigor or cold iron or imperishable gold, all that does not is not a Man of Stone, cannot be. It gives him worry still, I suspect, but oh, such is his way."''<br>
-- Lucius the Eternal, some time after the coronation

''"You see a lot of things happen to people in this business. Things that no one should have to see done to others, much less experience themselves. You can gird your heart all you want. You can tell yourself that there is nothing you could have done. You can tell yourself they died for the greater good. You can try to tell yourself at least they didn't suffer. But the truth is, when you finally decide to tell yourself the truth, is that they were people. And they didn't deserve to die like that."''<br>
-- Gregor Eisenhorn, Radical Inquisitor

''Jokaero are Men of Stone. Somehow. Don't give me that look, they are the work of the Human Dominion before Old Night, it is certain. There are truly antique records of creatures very much like them in form among earth life, relatives of ancient humans. None balk at the notion that the self styled Great and Bountiful Dominion had no qualms in rebuilding Humanity, it follows easily that they did much the same with other Old Earth life. Certainly the technological encoding of the Jokaero fit the proud pretenses of the Iron Minds to mimic the Old Ones. In concept at least the ruddy apes' startling knowledge resembles an attempt at Ork-craft by another author, whose boldness and ambition matches that shown in all the Iron Minds' projects. The secrets they hold, knowingly or not, bear the distinct and momentous imprint of that past human epoch, at least in my estimation.''<br>
-- Uthan the Perverse, because being so wrong requires practice

''"Kronus is the Imperium in a microcosm. A complete clusterfuck with enough backlogged paperwork to give even a hardened bureaucrat pause, composed of several different cultures and even species that have radically different mindsets and worldviews from one another, which only functions because the people who live there believe in one another and truly want to make it work."''<br>
-- Retired Guard veteran and long time bar patron of Kronus’ Dig the Fuck Inn, name unknown, on the nature of Kronus

'''Thoughts for the Day'''

++Thought for the Day: In unity, there is strength. In division, only death.++

++Thought for the Day: Cowardice only hastens your death. Survival lies in defying the darkness.++

++Thought for the Day: We are heirs to a tradition that has lasted unbroken for ten thousand years. It is our duty to carry it on into the future, as every generation before us has.++

++Thought for the Day: A life spent in service to yourself is worth nothing. A life spent in service to civilization is worth everything.++

++Thought for the Day: Death is the fate of all living things. When you die does not matter; it is how you die that is important.++

++Thought for the Day: Let your first thought upon waking always be "What can I do for the Imperium today."++

++Thought for the Day: To defy barbarism, even in a hopeless situation, is its own point, its own end, and its own reward.++

++Thought for the Day: The sacrifices made for the Imperium are already too great. Do not let them be for nothing.++

++Thought for the Day: Better to strike a light and curse the darkness than simply curse the darkness.++

= Other Information =

== Musings on the Nature of the Gods ==

Although they are typically referred to as male, it would be more accurate to say that none of the Chaos Gods or C'tan really have genders. Despite being referred to as male, most are probably better referred to as “it”, and are really only referred to as male out of convenience (much like [[Orks]]), with the notable exception of Slaanesh. Three of the four Chaos Gods (Tzeentch, Nurgle, and Khorne, also Malal) were created by the Old Ones, who treated their creations like supercomputers and didn't care at all about their personality or individual development as long as they did what they were built to do.

Nurgle was attracted to Isha because of her despair, being a fellow nature deity (which Nurgle technically is), and her status as one of the last of her kind (due to his nature as the Preserver) rather than being attracted to her physically. Khorne has no obvious gender, if he had a sexual orientation it would be violence. Tzeentch is Schrodinger's gender, as with all his other physical attributes his gender exists in a state of quantum superposition, and the very act of defining it will turn it into the exact opposite of what you expect due to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle.

Slaanesh, due to being the only Chaos God created by a distinctly non-Old One race (the eldar, whose gods are modeled after themselves and thus do have defined genders) is the only one to really have a permanent, definable gender. However, due to being the god/ess of pleasure Slaanesh is every gender. All of them. At the same time. Not just male and female, but even the ones that don't apply to humans, such as "Ork" or genders that are normally only found in fungi and bacteria on Earth.

The C'tan don't have any gender, because they don't reproduce. They can wax and wane in power or break off shards of themselves, but ultimately the C'tan can't be born or killed. Llandu'gor the Flayer is the only C'tan to be explicitly 100% dead, and killing him required Szarekh to essentially break reality.

Although the races uplifted and taught to create their own warp gods by the Old Ones (like the Eldar and the Hrud) were far from experts in the craft like the Old Ones were, their gods did have one major advantage over the ones the Old Ones made in that they were more stable as individuals. The uplifted races built their gods based on the stories and ideals of their own pantheons, which gave the gods a framework in which they naturally grow and change as individuals like mortals. Although they all popped into existence at the same time, the gods had all the old stories as memories in their head, As a result, gods like Isha, Cegorach, and Khaine have more aspects to their personality than "waifu", "troll", and "murderhobo", respectively, and have an easier time changing as individuals.

The Old Ones' gods, on the other hand, lacked this and tend to be more cancerous and monomaniacal (hence CHAOS Gods). What do you get when you have growth without structure? Cancer. They have a hard time perceiving things outside their domain, as well as growing as individuals. They also have a hard time being consistent, because they have trouble doing things beyond "gets them more emotions to get high". As an example, Nurgle had the opportunity to develop as an individual beyond "the Preserver" when he rescued Isha, or when he experienced personal despair for the first time when she was rescued. But he rejected that opportunity, ironically because he is a god of stagnancy. It's not clear why the Old Ones allowed this. Perhaps, being the amoral space lizard wizards that they were, they planned to just turn gods off the in the event they became rampant. Likely they expected they would always be there to maintain their gods from a place of collective superiority.

The personality of the C'tan in many ways is a result of their initial reaction to the experience of getting physical bodies. Before the Necrontyr came along the C'tan were essentially Boltzmann brains on the level of space cows, only concerned with eating. In some ways they are a dark mirror to the "tabula rasa" experiment of the Emperor. Aza'gorod was the first C'tan to be given physical form. When he was "born" he had no equal except for the Old Ones, and therefore no one to push back against him and say no when he went too far. Is it any wonder he turned into a narcissistic sociopath who believes the world is all about him and his needs? When Mag'ladroth got a body he realized "holy shit, there is so much of reality I've been missing out on", and became enthralled with reality. Mephet'ran, due to being named after the Hermes/Thoth equivalent of a divine messenger in the half-forgotten Necrontyr pantheon, was implicitly trusted by the Necrontyr due to cultural background. He soon realized he could say just about anything and he could get away with it because they would believe him, and it spiraled out from there. [[Nyadra'zatha]] was a pyromaniac, plain and simple.

Tsara'noga was one of the last C'tan to get a physical body, and as a result was domineered by his older, more willful "siblings", rejected agency, and never developed much of a personality of his own. It's debatable whether Szarekh was able to convince the Outsider to turn on the other C'tan because the Outsider was merely obeying what someone else told him to do like he always did, or he it truly wanted to kill his siblings in revenge for always pushing him around and telling him what to do and just needed a pretense. In the former case, the Outsider doesn’t actually feel guilt, because it rejects agency in its actions, and it’s just the objections of the other C’tan that’s are disturbing it, if the latter, its madness is a mix of guilt for its fratricidal rampage and terror at its own dark intentions that drive it in its recursive denial (and the voices in its head).

== Tabletop Crunch ==

=== Imperial Army ===

NEW COMMANDING OFFICER OPTION
Psyker (3 points)

The regiment's commanding officer is some variety of skilled psyker. Though most commonly found in Cadian, Colchis or Tallarni regiments in the form of Eldar commanding officers, any world where psykers are sufficiently accepted might concievably have such a leader. As such, troops in these regiments quickly become familiar with the curious ways of the psyker and the tang of their powers, marching to war under orders borne of prognostication and assaulting enemy positions under literal covering fire.

Starting Skills: Psyniscience, Forbidden Lore: Psykers
Starting Talent: Warp Sense

=== Crone Eldar ===

==== Weaknesses of the Crone Eldar ====

As a faction, the primary weaknesses of the Crone Eldar are a lack of AP options and a reliance on fear and terror. Crone armies are heavily designed around tearing up light infantry and causing fear and terror. They eat factions like the [[Imperial Guard]] for breakfast. However, much like the [[Night Lords]], they run into the problem that a significant number of the armies running around the galaxy do not feel fear conventionally, including [[Space Marines]], [[tyranids]], [[Necrons]], and [[Orks]] (in the fluff, not so much in the crunch).

However, immunity to fear is not the biggest thing to worry about when running a Crone army. Armor-piercing is. From a thematic/fluff standpoint, Crone Eldar are bullies like Orks and Dark Eldar, and as a result they excel at fighting foes who are weaker than they are. The difference is that whereas [[Dark Eldar]] are hit and run attackers that run away when they hit a pocket of hard resistance the Crones bite back because they're a bunch of methheads, even though they're now out of their element. Additionally, while they are excellent at sowing fear and suffering, aside from the plotters like Lady Malys they often tend to not think far enough ahead to bring AP weapons. To the Crone Eldar killing your enemies in a pragmatic, straightforward manner that doesn't allow you to savor their screams of misery and despair sounds suspiciously like work. This makes Crone versus Space Marine matchups particularly hard, but again it makes sense with the fluff. The Crones perform well against conventional Imperium forces like Imperial Guard/Eldar Guardians and Tau Hunter Cadres as well as Orks, but while they struggle against Space Marines Astartes are much rarer in the galaxy, even accounting for greater numbers in this timeline.

That said the Crones do have options to deal with heavy armor, they just aren't as readily available as other factions. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#Phalanxes|Phalanxes]], [[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#Slaughtermen|Slaughtermen]] with AP rounds, and [[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#Meltheads|Meltheads]] on full blast are good options. [[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#Nightmares|Nightmares]] are an option, but all they can do is slug it out and bolters would make mincemeat out of them. The Crones also have access to nastier versions of D-weapons that teleport chunks of enemies into the Warp, and have much fewer reservations against using them than their Craftworlder or Commorrite kin for obvious reasons. However, these weapons are rarer than their fun torture toys. Against tanks or titans, the Crones like to use short range teleportation or other such methods to pop inside tanks and make them into cans of ground soldier. After several thousand years Imperial tank crews are pretty tough on the inside as well, but that wouldn't really discourage the Crones. Fluff-wise, the Crones will also compensate for their dearth of AP options by bringing in Fallen, summoning Daemons or bringing Daemon Engines, or manipulating Orks into acting as shock troops.

This is one good reason to bring [[Nobledark_Imperium_Forces_of_Chaos#Arrotyr.2C_Marshall_of_the_Scions_of_the_Old_Helm|Arrotyr]]. Arrotyr, as the holder of the largest collection of actually functional Old Empire weaponry, excels at killing enemy armor with superheated weaponry by melting enemies and the hills behind them with [[Melta|deathrays]], and if that fails attacking with demonic weapons of the Old Empire to carve up survivors. Arrotyr is the specialist tank-buster of the Crone Eldar.

Tl;dr: Crone Eldar, making AP values relevant again.

[[Category:Nobledark Imperium]]

Firearm

2026-03-25T06:29:48Z

Archange1: Undo revision 1009006 by 192.42.116.95 (talk)

[[image:Shotgun After Firing.jpg|thumb|450px|right|Nothing like the smell of burnt powder in the morning]]
About twelve hundred years ago in [[China]], some people figured out that certain chemicals mixed together (such as potassium nitrate, carbon, and sulphur) rapidly combusted when brought to spark, which became known as "black powder." After some experimentation, they discovered that a tube sealed off at one end could be used to contain the pressure of said combustion and focus it into an explosion to propel an object at high speeds. After a few centuries of refinement, and invention of the frag grenade, they managed to take that mechanical principle and apply it as a weapon of warfare which changed the game: the arquebus. Comparatively cheap, easy to make, easy to learn to use, and capable of penetrating all but the heaviest armor, this marked a transition away from close quarters to ranged warfare.

In modern times, firearms are the staple weapons of any nation. Speculative fiction showcases weapons that don't even fire solid projectiles, like [[lasgun|lasers]].

From an engineering standpoint, firearms had a big difference from previous weapons in that they don't require the user's muscle power to work. Swords, maces, and axes are swung, spears are thrust, and bowstrings need to be drawn. Even crossbows and siege weapons work by storing muscle power via tension until it's released. The energy required to accelerate a firearm's projectile comes from explosive propellants; all the user needs to do is to hold the weapon, aim, brace themselves and set off said explosive charge. The significance of this is illustrated in the American Proverb: "God made man, Sam Colt (the inventor of the first practical revolver) made them equal." Having a reliable repeating gun means that your simple brute physical strength does not mean as much in a fight as it would in a bare knuckle brawl or a swordfight (either defensively or offensively).

The firearm's bigger bro is the [[Cannon]] and its cousin is the [[Rocket]].

==How Traditional Guns Work==
For our non-firearm oriented friends, here's a brief, heavily condensed explanation of how these murdersticks work. These instructions will probably vary depending on the type of gun you're using.

[[image:Teppo.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Some Tanegashima matchlocks]]
===Olden Muzzle-Loading Guns===
====The Slow Way====
1. Put your musket in half-cock position. Take your powder flask, and pour a few grains into the flashpan. Pour some more down the barrel (amount can vary wildly; later powder flasks come with built-in measuring tools for ease of use and safety). Ram the powder, bullet, and cloth wad down the barrel of your gun. Ensure you're doing this in correct order because [[Not as Planned|putting the ball first, then powder, for example, can lead to hilarious and/or lethal results]].
<br>2. If you're using a matchlock gun: light up the fuse, aim and brace yourself, and lastly wait for the fuse to burn out. If you're using a flintlock gun: just cock the mechanism. With percussion caps, replace the explosive cap on the firing titty after cocking the hammer. In any case, aim once you're done setting it up.
<br>3. Once the powder burns; the gasses from explosion of the black powder will send the bullet flying out of the barrel like a bat out of hell and penetrate into something or someone, and if you're lucky it might actually hit what you were aiming at. Also, hope you aren't downwind because guns during this time generated ''a lot'' of black smoke.
<br>4. Take stock of the situation. If you've managed to hit anyone or you're currently still in a shooting war; repeat step 1. If your firing line missed most of their shots and those barbarians are charging up your position; [[Imperial Guard|affix bayonets]]. Additionally, if you have time, make sure to use the ramming rod to clean out the barrels of residue to avoid an explosive jam that could burst your barrel (said note applies to all guns unless you're using smokeless powder, which reduces barrel and chamber cleaning sessions to once per week at most instead of once per every dozen shots).

====The Not-Quite-As-Slow Way====
1. Take your paper cartridge, and bite off the end with the powder in it. Carefully pour a few grains into the flashpan, and the rest down the barrel. Take the remainder of the cartridge, ball and paper, and ram it down the barrel.
<br>2. Follow steps 2 through 4 as above. Paper cartridges have the advantage of saving you a few seconds of precious time while reloading, which can mean the difference between life and death on the battlefield. Another advantage is that they can be made somewhat weatherproof with a grease or wax coating. But if you're just hunting or can't find/afford paper, most people didn't bother with the time-consuming preparations. Towards the end of the muzzle-loading era, paper cartridges could be chemically treated to be more flammable, so tearing them open became unnecessary. This was mostly done with revolvers.

===Single-Action Guns===
1. Load rounds into the magazine (or chamber if it's a single cartridge gun), remove the safety, work the action (pump the slide, rack the bolt, cock the hammer, et cetera) to chamber a round, and aim.
<br>2. Pull the trigger, this will cause the hammer to strike the primer on the chambered round and cause the powder inside the shell casing to ignite and explode; sending high-pressure gases screaming out of the barrel while propelling the solid bullet out at high speed towards whatever you were aiming at. If you're using single-action flintlock guns; see above for the result.
<br>3. Because the gun lacks a mechanism to re-chamber itself; you now have to work the action again to eject the spent shell (unless its a revolver, in which case you do that while reloading) and load another round into the chamber. How you do this depends on the gun in question.
<br>4. Repeat until you run out of bullets in the magazine if your gun has one or you have a spare moment where nobody's shooting at you, in which case either reload the magazine or load a new round (the default case if you're using a single round breechloader).

===Auto-Loading Guns===
1. Load rounds into the magazine, remove the safety, work the action to chamber a round, and aim.
<br>2. Pull the trigger and this causes the same effect as stated above.
<br>3. Because of the mechanism of the gun; it redirects some of the forces used to propel the bullet to work its action, eject the spent shell (unless its a DA revolver), re-chamber another round, and allow you to shoot again by just pulling the trigger. The forces used depend on the gun in question, some use a gas block or piston to redirect some of the gasses expelled by bullets, while other uses the force of the recoil itself, to work the action and chamber another round. Additionally, it could also re-chamber itself using a mechanical sequence (like revolvers) or is electrically operated.
<br>4. If you're using an automatic; hold the trigger down and only release it once you want to stop shooting (or are forced to do so due to lack of ammo). If you're using a semi-automatic; pull the trigger again to fire another round.
<br>5. Repeat until you run out of bullets or you have a spare moment where nobody's shooting at you, in which case either reload the magazine or load a new one.

==A Brief History of Firearms==
'''800's:''' Taoist monks attempting to find an elixir of immortality stumbled on the next best thing: a substance that would suddenly and violently make things very dead. They'd discovered potassium nitrate (alternatively called saltpeter), a white crystalline powder that burned with a purple flame. When mixed with powders of charcoal and sulfur the resulting substance would burn instantly and aggressively on exposure to flame. It didn't take long for the Chinese to start inventing ways to use it.

[[image:Firelance.jpg‎|thumb|150px|left|The Firelance, the Chinese invention that started this all]]
'''1000s to 1200s:''' The Chinese realize they can make barbarians shit their pants by shooting hollowed arrows packed with powder and bamboo tubes filled with powder and pebbles at them. Bamboo gradually gives way to cast iron and bronze. The Mongol Invasion accelerated the development as the Song Government tried everything to fight them off, which the Mongols often stole and used themselves.

'''1300s:''' Various gunpowder weapons begin to proliferate westward along the Silk Road, aided by the [[Mongols]]. Crude versions of hand cannons, grenades, rockets, and flamethrowers all see use. Despite considerable psychological effect and good armor penetration, most of these weapons are only marginally more likely to kill the target than the user and had a range of only twenty or so meters. As such, their use is not widespread. For the most part, these weapons were used by skirmishers and guards. The fact that they were so dangerous meant they were mostly used by low class soldiers, and in turn this meant that the smiths making them were generally not the most skilled artisans; which did little to improve quality even given the limitations of the day. Even so, the designs and methods of manufacture were gradually refined and improved by various early gunsmiths through trial and error if nothing else.

'''1400s''': Hand cannons see continued and expanded use. Bit by bit from the crude handgonnes of previous centuries, the first "true" firearms evolve with the gradual development of the matchlock, taking on the basic shape of lock, stock, trigger, and barrel (which is where we get the saying from). By clamping a lighted wick into a flashpan via a trigger, the shooter is able to aim ''and'' fire at the same time, making him markedly less likely to blow his own jimmies off. Despite advances, the matchlock was unwieldy, unreliable, and generally inferior to a good bowman. The issue of course is that only England (in Europe) HAD good bowmen; bowmen were the scum of the army everywhere else. This didn't stop some inventive commanders from seeing their potential, particularly with poorly trained conscript soldiers. [[Weeaboo|Some forces]] made a go of it by carrying two or three guns at a time and just throwing the spent ones away like a really shitty Matrix movie. Note: while we use a "weeaboo" hyperlink up there, it's worth remembering that troops like cuirassiers and even pirates would do the same thing with pistols, carrying a whole brace of them, but they just did not exist yet. By the 1400's having more then one gun was the only way to have any real rate of fire before breechloaders existed.

'''1500s:''' Guns continue to evolve with the invention of spring-loaded firing mechanisms. The wheel-lock spins a steel plate against sulfide rocks to produce sparks (think cigarette lighters), which ignites powder a flash pan. This was revolutionary, allowing soldiers to prime their weapon in a matter of seconds instead of fucking around with a lit wick, and allowed calvary to use guns for the first time while on horseback, giving rise to the cuirassiers. It also means that for the first time, guns weren't completely fucked in the rain, just mostly fucked. They also cost a lot to make and were still not completely reliable, so most people stuck with matchlocks. Powder formulas had improved considerably, including the development of the more powerful, stable, and moisture-resistant corned powder made by wetting raw gunpowder, forming it into corn kernel-sized cakes, crushing them, and sieving them for size. Japan's Oda Nobunaga was particularly notable in the history of firearms for his heavy transition from blades to guns after discovering the novelty of matchlock guns. In fact, by the end of the 1500s, they had more trained arquebusiers in their armies and produced more matchlocks than any other country to date during that period and had the most guns per capita in the world. They still relied on yari equipped pikemen to keep cavalry away but by this time, mounted archery and swordsmen had taken a backseat as supporting units like the knights and winged hussars in Europe. Meanwhile, virtually every army figured out how to use a combination of volley fire in dense square formations surrounded by pikemen (called Pike and Shot) or roughly equivalent units of gunmen protected by spearmen (such as the Chinese Mandarin Duck platoon formations); making armored cavalry, crossbows, & longbows outdated. Accuracy still sucked but that was what the massed shooting was meant to compensate for and soldiers were trained to just point their matchlock in the vague direction of the enemy en masse and fire.

[[image:FlintlockMechanism.jpg‎|thumb|200px|right|The flintlock mechanism. Now you did not need to light some string and put it into a serpentine before firing]]
'''1600s''' The wheellock is refined into the simpler and more reliable flintlock, though it would take some time to supersede the matchlock. Muzzle loading is simplified with the creation of paper cartridges, essentially the pre-measured cake mix of murder. Some German dudes came up with the idea of cutting spirals into the barrel, which they called "rifling," to spin-stabilize the bullet so that they wouldn't have to walk up right next to their targets to hit them, but this required a barrel tighter than a nun's cunt, a hammer to ram the ball in, and grooved bullets made for the gun so it could fit the rifling of the gun like the cap to a soda bottle. To put all that into perspective: well-trained musketeers could fire three to four shots a minute, while a rifleman could only manage one shot every minute. Not great, however the idea of spin-stabilisation hung around and payed off in later times. Breechloaders are invented alongside the flintlock in both Europe and China but the problem of hot gas leaking and burning shooters' hands made them limited in use and in number. Hence, while nobles such as King Henry could own a breech loading rifle for hunting ducks, said breech loaders were either expensive to make in good quality, leaked hot gas every time you shot a less finely crafted piece, or was of inferior performance to the basic muzzleloader.

'''1700s''': The French invent the bayonet, allowing their troops to be [[choppa|choppy]] while they were [[dakka|shooty]]. Thus, the Pike and Shot formation became the Bayonet and Shot formation. That and refinement of tactics led to the dense but slow and cumbersome square formations being reformed into thinner but more responsive rectangle formations. This is the point where gun infantry tactics become the dominant (though still not only) form of fighting when guns go from one of a few common infantry weapons to the primary weapon used by most infantry. Formations of musketeers go from big square blocks to lines two or three ranks thick to put enough bullets in the enemy's ranks as quickly as possible. In the 1600's armies had started to realize that dividing up your people into groups and firing in turn would allow you to maintain fire while reloading (particularly the English with the New Model Army), but it was in the 1700's that everyone really got good at drilling it into soldiers how to fight in lines. Another interesting development at this time was the creation of the air gun. As seen with the Italian Girardoni air rifle, it was issued to specialized sharpshooters who valued it's silence, long range, and rapid-firing capabilities. Their apparent effectiveness in the Austrian Army's Windbüchse Jägers during the Napoleonic Wars was such that according to legend (which is disputed by historians), Bonaparte himself was so angry that he desired for any soldier captured from those units to be hanged as assassins or spies instead of treated as a regular POW. However, the difficulties of making and maintaining reliable pressure tanks and air pumps meant it couldn't compete or become mainstream once conventional rifles and breechloaders were improved upon.
[[image:Chassepot.jpg‎|thumb|200px|left|The mechanism of a French Chassepot needle rifle, an early bolt action rifle, as well as its paper cartridge]]

'''1800s''': Pretty much everything that makes up a modern firearm is invented here. Some English fools discovered fulminates (with the first formula of mercury fulminate made from mercury, nitric acid, and ethanol), an unstable explosive compound that could be put in a metal cap that would instantly ignite if you slam it with a hammer; which led to the first explosive primers. So flintlocks transitioned to percussion caps. This basically involves putting explosives in your explosives to explode your explosives. Eventually, standardized methods of making copper & later brass casings by the French and English replaced paper cartridges; making gas leakage in breech loading mechanisms a thing of the past. Cartridges that contain a primer, propellant, and slug, similar to modern-day bullets, are developed. With this, not only was loading ammunition simplified with a package that contained everything needed for a gun to fire, it also made it waterproof & easier for conscripts to load. Furthermore, the brass casings' small expansion when firing served to seal the firing chamber to prevent hot gases from leaking and burning users’ hands. Extracting the flush but stuck cartridge in the chamber was simply a matter of adding extraction pins that were manually pressed to kick them out by the rims on the bottom base. By this time, wars were largely fought using firearms rather than melee weapons, though also by this time firearms were also melee weapons as in the early 1800s the bayonet charge was still both an accepted and useful tactic.

By the late 1800 inventors had finally gotten the technology to contain the force of the gunpowder explosion with a tight seal and do so cheaply. Experiments that had been done earlier like the Puckle gun (1718), Ferguson rifle (1776), and even the bizarre 1780 Girandoni Air Rifle, [http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Steampunk which was an air gun with a 20 round magazine], all failed to create breech loading rifles cheaply. See, despite that it was well known that that slotting in bullets from the rear and using a mechanism to load it into the chamber is much simpler than spending about half a minute to ram it down a long barrel, the technology was just not there as without cheap steel with good quality control (cheap is important for hand guns you are going to mass-produce). In the meantime, getting regular iron to contain the explosion without deforming, cracking, and leaking gas - thus weakening the shot - was a nightmare. The Industrial Revolution, among other things, gave birth to the ability to mass produce novelty features such as "breech-loading" and later "magazines" and simpler mechanised feeding systems like tubes, slides, cylinders, and bolt-actions. The likes of pump-action shotguns, bolt-action rifles, and lever-action rifles, and revolver and semi-automatic pistols, are developed and/or developed upon, giving a glimpse on how weapons in the future would function. Near the end of the decade, some French guys worked out that they could both improve firepower and keep their guns considerably cleaner by replacing black powder with nitrocellulose, the base component of most "smokeless powders." Also known as “guncotton/flash-paper,” it was first discovered by some German chemist who accidentally soaked a cotton apron in a nitric/sulfuric acid mix before trying to dry it by the fire; culminating with explosive results. After various explosive bouts of trial and error, the French managed to alter its formula to make it stable enough to use without blowing up its creators. They stabilized it by soaking and drying it a second time in alcohol. Next, they added stabilizer compounds that made the concoction safe to make without blowing factories sky high from static electricity. This alongside partly dissolving it in ether/alcohol to form collodion before adding extra explosive compounds such as nitroglycerin served to make it more malleable and explosive for shells and artillery. Shaping it was simply a matter of spinning/rolling it into stiff thread/yarn or sheets to be cut down to desired pellet/flake sizes. Not only is there a massive increase in power, its also a clean burn compared to the highly corrosive nature of black power and the horrible maintenance pain that comes with that. This won't matter ''as'' much for another century, since the primers are still corrosive.

Just as important as the new designs that came about during this period were the new methods of production. People like Eli Whitney worked out devices such as milling machines, which allowed for the quick production of finely tuned parts which were so close in size that you could take one bit off one gun, stick it on another from the same line, and it would work just as fine. Breech loading and repeating firearms had existed for centuries beforehand, but were not cost effective to mass-produce until the Industrial Revolution.
[[image:Lee-Enfield Rifle.jpg|thumb|200px|right|A British Lee-Enfield Bolt Action Repeating rifle]]
This is also the time where the first "automatic" guns were invented and put into production. The word "automatic" is in quotes because these early machine guns were not self-reciprocating; they did not load and fire themselves and were instead manually powered. The most famous (and successful) of these weapons is the Gatling gun, which saw limited action in the American Civil War, but became much more widely used the world over in subsequent wars. But while it was the most famous, the Gatling was not the only manual machine gun developed; dozens of different types were produced during the US Civil War alone on both sides, but because these guns tended to be mounted on cannon carriages they were treated like cannons instead of the close support weapon machines guns are, so it took some time for them to hit their stride. Some were hooked up to a motor and became true machine guns, giving them a rate of fire that's high even by today's standards, but the requirement of having a power source meant it only saw limited use on ships.

The first works of the great John Moses Browning start showing up. While his 20th century inventions are more famous, his perfection of the lever action, and invention of the pump action shotgun were major advances. Browning would even patent a semi-automatic shotgun by the end of the 19th century, though it would not be produced till the 20th.

'''1900-early 1930s''': The heyday of guns because of the advent of WW1. The idea of bolt-action rifles are popularized, along with semi-automatic and fully-automatic weapons. Bolt-action rifles meant that riflemen no longer had to be confined to shooting one round at a time before needing to reload as they could now load individual clips that contained 5-10 rounds a piece. Machine guns are now becoming more and more popular in the battlefields, drastically changing the way infantry would maneuver the battlefield as a single MG emplacement can effectively cripple platoons with the right positioning. Submachine guns are developed by the Italians through total accident, as it turned out their pistol caliber machine gun designed for air-to-air fighting (remember planes of this era were very fragile) was effective as an infantry weapon. The German Empire would be the first to make a purpose built infantry sub-machine gun, giving the rest of the world an idea of the wonders of a lightweight fully-automatic weapon that could easily be used by infantrymen, which was previously restricted to crew-served heavy machine guns and the still heavy BAR. They were so impressive, the various post-war regulations prohibited the Germans from having a military armed with them ([[Derp|completely missing the loophole that the Germans could just arm civilians like police and railway guards with them and have a German owned company in Switzerland build them]]).

On the subject of the machine guns, if there was ever a weapon that represented this part of history it would be the heavy machine gun. We talked about the hand powered machine guns above, and while good when used correctly, these weapons have their issues. In order to use most of them, you had to be standing up to turn the crank and sustained fire was tiring, but the hand cranked guns had one major advantage: the most successful of the hand-cranked guns, like the Gatling or Gardner, had multiple barrels meaning you can fire them with little or no need to stop to let the barrels cool down. At the dawn of the 20th century, this is what the early machine guns had to be compared to when European generals went window shopping. The solution was water-cooling, which allowed machine guns to fire for countless hours with little or no failures, but at the cost of weight rendering them truly static, though highly effective, weapons. If you could point to two developments that caused the First World War's trench warfare, you can point to water-cooled machine guns and barbed wire.

The semi-automatic pistol had some developments in the last decade of the 19th century, but only the bulky C96 Mauser would see any real popularity, with next most notable, the Borchardt C-93, only having a few thousand made. The Borchardt’s refinement by Georg Luger would be one of the big game changers, as it saw adoption by the Swiss in 1900 and Germany in 1904. John Moses Browning would be the real pioneer, creating a series of pocket pistols that saw widespread success in civilian sales. He would cap this off with the 1911 in the same year, his first military pistol that was then adopted by the US military. He designed the 1935 Browning Hi-Power, but didn’t live to see it completed by his apprentice Dieudonné Saive and his son Val Browning. The pistol was produced by both sides of World War II (its factory was captured when Belgium was invaded, but Saive would flee with the plans and produce them in Canada), and all future developments amounted to more plastic, and a few improvements to safeties. All the mainstream self-loading pistol cartridges that remain in use are from this era except for 9x18 Makarov (unique more to deny captured pistols ammo than effectiveness), .40 S&W (never adopted by a military and rapidly falling out of favor after its main user decided to go back to 9mm), and some rounds intended to defeat body armor that aren’t primarily for pistols anyways.

'''late 1930s-1940s''': At the start of World War II, all of the powers involved, France, England, Germany, and Russia, were armed with bolt action weapons. Over the course of the war, automatic and semi-automatic rifles started to become more common; however, only the Americans completely phased out bolt-action rifles for standard infantry by the time of the war (Marines and Army units in the Pacific Front were stuck with the old stuff for a few months due to the Germany First policy). Submachine guns are now becoming more popular with various armies around the world, making it the staple lightweight automatic weapon for infantry troops, totally redefining urban combat due to the weapon's great effectiveness in close combat. Nazi Germany invents the ''Sturmgewehr 44'', the first widely produced assault rifle (the Fedorov Avtomat was the first to be put into service, introduced in 1915, but production was limited due to costs [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_Revolution and uh, well...]). This weapon would later become the template for modern assault rifles used by the world over.

[[image:QBZ-95.jpg|thumb|200px|left|A QBZ-95 Assault Rifle, the current service rifle of the People's Republic of China, note bullpup configuration (the magazine feeds behind the trigger), thus saving space]]

One unsung advance is the production side. Advances in manufacturing phase out final hand-fitting (that the 1911 and M1 Garand predate this is why current production still varies and costs so much). The M1 Carbine, due to extensive efforts by the US military, it was the first firearm to have all parts be completely interchangeable, no matter which factory it was made in.

'''1950s-1990s''': With World War II over, the armies of the world had a chance to study Germany's assault rifle and built their own. The key invention was selective fire, which allowed a single weapon to serve as a traditional rifle or a somewhat long and unwieldy submachine gun. Burst fire was also developed, intended to fire a grouping of rounds to defeat personal body armor but automatically stop before the recoil of fully automatic fire would have a significant impact on aim. The USSR's entry was the AK-47, which was powerful, easy to mass produce, and legendarily tolerant of mistreatment after briefly flirting with the SKS (a semiautomatic carbine fed by stripper clips). On the other side of the world, the US briefly experimented with an automatic version of the M1 known as the M14, before (mostly) getting their shit together and developing the M16, which was expensive, complicated, and notoriously finicky. One thing not to be underestimated is the standardization introduced by NATO and the Warsaw Pact. Gone were incompatible calibers unique to each nation, and in their place were a single pistol caliber (9x19 for NATO, unless you were an American snowflake, and 9x18 for Pact.), a single intermediate caliber (5.56x45 for NATO, 7.62x39 for Pact, later 5.45x39 in certain Pact countries), a single full power rifle cartridge (7.62x51 for NATO, unless you were a French snowflake, and the venerable 7.62x54 for Pact), and heavy machine gun cartridge (.50 BMG for NATO and 12.7×108mm for Pact) for small arms. Even before NATO standardization was officially a thing, many western countries eagerly armed themselves with American surplus M1 Garands and M1 Carbines, which greatly simplified things.

'''2000s''': With the invention of more advanced materials such as plastics and carbon fiber, along with numerous technological advancements of the modern world, firearms are... basically the same they've been for the last fifty years, just usually lighter and with more options. Serious efforts were made to look at new designs like caseless ammo and fused smart grenade bullets, but most went nowhere. The most significant development in firearm technology was the advent of practical ranged tasers; essentially wired dart launchers with high voltage capacitors, they're the first handguns ostensibly intended for less lethal force (occasional heart attacks not withstanding) that weren't a total joke (like pistol caliber tear gas rounds).

'''2010s''': Relatively speaking, guns have changed a lot and a little in the following years. Primarily, there had been emphasis placed on modularity, mobility, and ruggedness as can be seen with Western nations adoption firearms such as HK416 variants or overall improving the current M4 system. Development of practical telescopic and caseless ammo (LSAT program), and ship cannon sized railguns (The Naval Research Laboratory) have been placed, with the former showing fruition into the NGSW program (see 2020s). The main innovation at this time comes from the improvement of optics, machining techniques (such as CNC machining), materials (stronger and lighter polymers as well as overall better metal alloys), and further optimized design. New designer rounds have been developed to compete with conventional military ammunition, however by late 2019 most have fallen into either becoming niche or have lost traction/attention for wider spread use. Thus in 2010s the firearm technology focus was improving and fine tuning current technologies with some developments into more experimental areas.

[[File:LSAT telescopic ammo.png|200px|thumb|right| Further development of practical telescopic ammo. Designed to be provide reduce weight not not compromising muzzle energy. Culminated into the NGSW program]]

On the more individual front, CNC and 3D printing development has improved significantly enough that either personally designed or online sourced designs can be used to produce firearms parts and associated equipment that can be used to quintessentially make home made firearms. Although several nations have tried to curb this onset of what have come to be called ghost guns, this phenomenon is here to stay. On a larger scale production front, CNC firearms manufacturing allows for more precise machining thus superior fit and finish and improved tolerances.

[[File:Textron Systems, General Dynamics, and SIG Sauer NGSW-R respectively.png|300px|thumb|left| NGSW system prototypes by different companies competing for the potential to become America's new service rifle. The last one is the winner.]]

'''2020s''': With the rising commonality of rifle resistant gear (i.e. body armor and helmets, eg not unheard of for soldiers to survive otherwise direct fatal blows thanks to modern helmets), need for reduction of weight and increased mobility, ability to react to both close and extended range threats (eg M4A1/M27 accurately pushes to 500/600 meters where engagement ranges can exceed 800 meters), and desire to [[Powergamer|overmatch competing militaries]], Western firearms development has begun to focus on new munitions. Namely looking to full power and reduced weight ammunition (be it polymer or reinforced) that can reach out lengthy distance without being excessively heavy or cumbersome. In that regards, the US Army is looking into the NGSW system program, with several contractors competing for the program. Thus far the competition as of 2020 consists of AAI Textron Systems (backed H&K & Winchester), General Dynamics, and SIG Sauer competing for the bid.

Currently the US Military and its branches are looking at 6.8mm NGSW (no XM designation yet), 6.5mm Creedmoor, and .338 Lapua/Norma Magnum to either replace or supplement current ammunition such as 5.56 and 7.62 NATO. The latter most more so because American snipers found themselves outmatched by their European counterparts. Come April 2022 and the Sig Sauer candidate has been declared the winner. While sporting a conventional layout and using standard brass ammunition (with a stainless steel tail to contain the pressure), it’ll likely get the job done and will be issued to infantry, scout, and combat engineer units in the Army while everyone else will keep the M4 until further notice. Or they'll just do another competition to get an actual caseless round to replace everything and have XM7’s be used by line units until then.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAHKS0nVlL4 As of 2022 if you have 3,500 dollars you, yes YOU can buy a working Gauss rifle]. While definitely out of the reach of most armed forces for mass deployment, it took less then 1 human life time to go from the Wright Brothers to the heavy multi-engine bombers of WWII so the technology is coming.

== GUN SAFETY ==
Should be self-evident, but to be frank it isn't. Between the movies having actors brandishing guns everywhere, the video games and toys like airsoft that make them look more harmless than they are and plain human ignorance and negligence; people forget that they're holding something that could easily scatter someone's brains or outright remove their skull.

That said, there are four main rules to gun safety.
*Muzzle sweep: Avoid this. Muzzle sweep is one when points or sweeps a gun in a direction onto people or objects that could get harmed. To avoid this, one should keep the gun's barrel pointed away from anything that you don't intend to destroy or value. This means one must be conscious of where they are pointing it. Or in other words, '''never point the gun at something you don't want to shoot!'''

*'''Treat every firearm as if they were loaded at all times.''' Even if you fully know the gun is empty after removing the magazine and checking the chamber, still treat it as if it wasn't. This creates a force of habit so that if you are ever in a rush/interrupted while handling your gun/given a weapon by someone else/whatever... you will avoid any mishaps and tragedies that could arise because you think the gun is empty where it actually isn't. The only obvious exception is during maintenance, and that's only after visually and physically ensuring the chamber is clear and the magazine is removed (or empty if your gun's magazine is built-in). Don't feel peer pressure to stop obsessively checking each and every chamber around. As far as addictions go, this is not a bad one. Always, always check multiple times. If you don't feel sure for a single moment, check it. Better to waste a couple of seconds loading a magazine, cocking a round, or disengaging the safety features than risking a life from impatient carelessness. Just ask Alec Baldwin.

*'''Know the target, what's in front of the target, and what's behind the target.''' Remember, bullets are designed to punch holes in things. Even if you've got pinpoint accuracy, the bullet might go right through the target and kill some guy who's just minding his own business. This is why any self-respecting firing range has a thick wall or a pile of packed-down dirt behind the targets. Bullets that don't punch through the target and don't shatter (like frangible rounds made of sintered metal) can ricochet back at the shooter or others around them. For this reason, shooting at metal targets is usually done with the targets angled down. And loudly letting people know when you’re going to fire a gun reduces the risk of idiots somehow getting in between the target and the shooter.

*Trigger discipline: '''Never put your finger on the trigger unless you want to kill/destroy whatever you're pointing your gun at.''' Why? Any number of things, either in a firefight or peaceful day in the gun range, can cause you to be spooked and involuntary clench your fingers. If your finger happens to be on the trigger of a live gun, you can potentially cause a negligent discharge, and that's bad. As in "You're putting your and other people's lives at great risk for being a colossal idiot" bad. It doesn't matter if you're a hardcore Tier 1 spec ops operator or regular Joe taking on recreational backyard shooting, everyone's susceptible to the dreaded ND, which is why it should be second nature for you to always keep your finger '''''off''''' the trigger until ready to fire.

Easy, right? Well... apparently not. Ask any gun enthusiast and they'll gladly tell you all sorts of horror stories that happened because [[That Guy|somebody]] failed to follow these simple rules. Guns are not toys, guns are tools built with the purpose of causing damage. Entertainment is secondary to safety every single time, and when dealing with equipment whose literal raison d'étre is dealing damage this is only amplified.

And for the love of the God-Emperor, don't be a fucking tool and mix alcohol/drugs and firearms together. Doing so, very, very unsurprisingly results in the breaking of one or more of the aforementioned rules.

==Types of firearms==
Having been around for well over 1500 years there have been many types of firearms over the course of time. Humans are, if anything, very inventive when it comes to coming up with new and interesting ways to kill each other. A rough list are:

===Ye Olde Gonnes===
*Firelance: Oldest of the Oldschool guns, simple bamboo tubes stuffed with gunpowder and pebbles used in the Ten Kingdoms period and the Song Dynasty. One inaccurate spray of flaming fuck-off in close quarters, often tied to a spear.

*Handgonne: A catch-all term for a primitive gun without a lock that need their powder charges. Majority of these guns were handcannons, as in literal man-portable artillery pieces that had a 50/50 chance of either working or malfunctioning, the worst of which would be the gun exploding in the shooter's face.

*Arquebus - A basic matchlock Firearm. A note of clarification: 'Arquebus' and 'musket' are both used to describe firearms from this time and they are often used interchangeably. But if you want to be ''really'' technical in this period an Arquebus is a regular two handed matchlock firearm while a musket is a larger heavier gun firing a larger projectile, sometimes up to an inch in diameter. Latter (about 1700 onward) musket would refer to any muzzleloading long barreled handheld firearm used for mainly shooting solid shots. This is not too much of a big deal and is nothing to get mad about, but it is worth noting.

*Musket - Today, the musket is a catch-all term for all early smoothbore, shoulder-fired, muzzle-loaded firearms. Technically this isn't the case, the musket was an improved Arquebus, one of the earliest muzzle-loaded guns. However because of romanticism and literature; people who aren't acquainted with firearms will commonly refer to any muzzle-loaded long weapon as a musket (about the same reason why most people today refer to any automatic weapon as a machine gun). Muskets were inaccurate as people have yet to put serious research into firearm ballistics, lacked sights, generated a lot of smoke due to primitive gunpowder mixtures, and were temperamental to environmental conditions (rain will pretty much render a musket into an wet stick of wood), but still enjoyed a lot of popularity due to their lethality and ease of use compared to other man-portable ranged weapons at the time - and even their inaccuracy (they were after all, shooting at a bunch of guys standing shoulder-to-shoulder...) may have been more attributable to the generally-poor training given to the vast majority of soldiers of the time. Muskets were quickly phased out once rifles sufficiently improved (they co-existed for multiple decades, with rifles being reserved for light infantry who used their rifles to place accurate shots...at a fraction of the fire-rate of muskets who stayed in the hands of the line infantry, because the light infantry now had to shove the bullet in by the spiraled rifling) to do what a musket could do, but better. Muskets were categorized by what firing mechanism was used in the lock:
:*The earliest versions used matchlocks, which fired by poking a slow-burning fuse into the firing chamber. These were fairly unreliable and somewhat hazardous since you had a smouldering fuse close to the flashpan when you were reloading.
:*The next developed version was the wheel-lock, which used a quick rotation of a wheel against a pyrite to create sparks, making it the first self-igniting firearm. Due to it's price, it didn't replace the matchlock in most cases, only being used by cavalry, elite soldiers and gunpowder guards.
:* Flintlocks replaced matchlocks (itself an evolution of earlier snaplock, snaphance, miquelet lock, and doglock mechanisms) which ignited by generating sparks when a piece of flint struck the iron frizzen, igniting the powder in the flashpan. The flint would periodically break and need replacing, but it was still safer than a matchlock. British Soldiers of the era commonly nicknamed their Brown Bess Flintlock musket "Flinchlock", because the brief flash of fire going off right in your face from the powder igniting inevitably made you flinch, especially if you weren't used to it.
:**Fusils are early flintlocks (in fact "fusil" derives the Latin "foisil" , meaning a piece of flint), and like any early technology they were more expensive then there later derivatives. Therefore Fusils were given to elite higher trained troops, hence the english/french words 'fusileer' and 'fusillade'. The primary use of Fusils while they distinct from standard infantry weapons (matchlocks) were guarding artillery since unlike matchlocks, flintlocks like the Fusil do not produce so many sparks, a major concern around barrels of gunpowder common around artillery trains!
:** Snaplock uses a flint to strike against a frizzen but is different from the later flintlocks in that the frizzen and pan are separate pieces of the weapon while later flintlocks combine frizzen and the pancover into one, which made the later flintlocks much cheaper. The user also has to manually open the pancover before shooting, which can be a problem in rain. Like the wheel-lock, snaplock didn't manage to replace the matchlock and in fact, in many regards wheel-lock was considered superior despite coming first.
:** Snaphance is similar to a snaplock but it has an additional mechanism which opens the pancover automatically when pulling the trigger, making it a lot less likely that the gunpowder would get wet.
:* With the invention of the percussion cap came the Caplock, or Cap & Ball. Successfully outcompeted other newborn fulminate primer models (such as the scent-box/sliding lock and the pill/tube lock), this was the final evolution before breachloading became widespread. The cap would be fitted onto a tube to the firing chamber after the musket was loaded. Caplock firearms did not generate sparks in and of themselves; rather, they used a simple hammer to strike the cap, which would in turn ignite the powder in the firing chamber. Far more contained than flintlock, until the fully self-contained cartridge superseded it entirely. After the introduction of cartridges, it was fairly simple to convert existing caplock weapons by replacing the percussion cap tube with a firing pin, and adding a loading gate. Cap & Ball still sees use, even having a few entirely new designs created using the mechanism, due to many countries not considering them or anything prior as "firearms".

*Multi-barreled gun - In the olden days, people wanted more dakka launched at enemies, but things like magazines and self-loading weapons were still an alien idea during its time. So as an alternative people took a breach/muzzle-loaded firearm, slapped one or more barrels onto it, and reworked the trigger so they can fire more shots before needing to reload. This resulted in some particularly wacky times for guns. To this day, the only multi-barrel weapon still commonly used (disregarding military rifles with underslung grenade launchers, door breaching shotguns, or rotating barrel Gatling-style guns) is the double-barreled hunting shotgun. Some notable guns were volley guns called ribauldequin, which were a line of infantry dudes without most of the dudes. The problem was that this took very long to load, because you have one or two people ramming shit rather than 20 dudes each loading. So, that was a colossal fail in a long term artillery exchange, but quite effective for countering a charge when all you need is one volley to make mincemeat out of that cavalry coming at you.

===Modern Firearms===
*Handgun - Also called "pistols", handguns are small-sized firearms that can be comfortably fired in one hand (hence the name). Handguns are mainly used for close defense and as a sidearm, making them akin to daggers. Modern pistol calibers are commonly between 8mm and 11mm, although popular magnum rounds like the .50 GI and .50AE are also exist for handguns (albeit they tend to be large, heavy, and likely to fuck up your wrist from the recoil).
:*Self-loading pistol - Semi-automatic pistols are magazine-fed handguns that use the fired cartridge’s energy to extract and eject the spent cartridge, recock the hammer, and feed a fresh cartridge into the chamber. A concept that took a comparatively long amount of time to get into place, with the first functional semi-automatic pistol being the German Borschardt C93, and the first mass-produced one being the iconic Broomhandle Mauser C96. These had several advantages over revolvers, like having a bigger magazine, being much easier to reload under field conditions, but the most important of which being that they were much easier to maintain. Starting with the Walther PP and the Colt M1911, most nations militaries quickly shifted towards pistols instead of revolvers, with some completely replacing them even before WW2. Revolvers stuck around longer in police service in many countries, but were pushed out of this role as well, making Revolvers only widespread on the civilian gun market, especially for hunters, where the safety and reliability of a Revolver is an advantage over semi-autos that cannot be ignored.
:*Machine pistol - A machine pistol is a handgun that can fire in either bursts or in full-auto. While they're commonly thrown into that category, machine pistols are not submachine guns due to their size and use. Machine-pistols are not in widespread use with traditional military forces as SMGs and PDWs do better damage and have a longer range, but they remain popular with personnel like bodyguards or hitmen, who require a highly portable and concealable but powerful sidearm.
:*Derringer - Another case of the concept being named after its inventor, "derringer" refers to tiny pistols, often used as concealed or backup sidearms, that could fit into the palm of your hand. These things have been around since the 19th century and were single-shot, though could have multiple barrels to fire off more shots before reloading, which were fired in a sequence. Due to their size and intended use (i.e: shooting someone while literally next to them); derringers typically used small rounds like .22 and below. But if you ''really'' wanted someone dead (and your wrists obliterated); some packed larger shots like [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/COP_.357_Derringer .357 magnum rounds].
:*Pocket Pistol - Modern versions of the derringer, those are really small handguns or revolvers that sacrifice range and ammo count in order to be as small and easily concealed as possible. Also called "subcompacts". Obviously ideal for bodyguards, spies and VIPs to use as last resorts.
:*Flare Gun - While not exactly a proper firearm per se, due to being used to fire fat and slower moving flares instead of actual bullets, flare guns made from metal (any plastic ones are a risk waiting to cripple your hand) can accept tubular inserts into the breach in order to fire small to medium sized shotgun shells and pistol rounds. Granted, accuracy is going to be mediocre (assuming the inserts themselves have no rifling) and you're going to have to load and remove each bullet case like grandpa's old break action shotgun before you can shoot again. However, it works well as a hidden holdout weapon or a dual-use survival weapon while you're hunting or in the wilderness. The original ammunition, the flares themselves, can also be useful for burning combustible matter as they've been used by soldiers in the past to sabotage equipment to keep out of enemy hands or set fires off from a distance. In some extreme cases, they've been experimentally designed to fire grenades as seen with Nazi Germany's experiments with the Kampfpistole/Sturmpistole or outright used as lethal (albeit improvised) weapons during the Korean War by shooting flares that lodge into some poor Chinese soldier’s coat to burn him to death.

*Revolver - A revolving gun is any weapon that uses a revolving cylinder to load new rounds after every shot. While its commonly now relegated to pistols (a revolver typically meant a revolver pistol these days) the style is still used for some shotguns (like the Armsel Striker) and grenade launchers (like the MM1-Hawk). Historically, revolver rifles were invented in an attempt to create repeater rifles for soldiers as seen with the Colt's New Model Revolving rifle from the 1850's. However, due to lack of of a gas seal, most were notorious for leaking gas that could harm shooters or set off all the chambered rounds in a chain fire if they were pre-brass cartridge designs. By the time reciprocating chambers were made to automatically seal gaps between the barrel and the cylinders (like with the Nagant M1895 and it’s unique cartridge), revolvers had already been superseded by magazine-loaded firearms in military arsenals. However, they did make a small comeback with brass cased ammo and installed blast shields as seen with Taurus/Rossi Circuit Judge carbine or the MTs255 shotgun. Revolvers are still in use for a few reasons: they're simple and cheap to make, can easily be used by left and right-handed shooters (since spent casings aren't automatically ejected like in the case of modern firearms) and is still pretty robust compared to today's modern weapons as fewer mechanisms means fewer points of failure. Downside is that they have very limited ammunition space (because the gun was made around the cylinder you can't expand it like how you can with detachable magazines, so you either had a gun with 5-8 rounds or a bulky gun with a 12-round cylinder) and reload time (even with speedloaders, the time it takes to empty and take apart the gun to load more bullets can be lethal, which the FBI [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1986_FBI_Miami_shootout learned the hard way]). Thanks to the American old west era and subsequent movies about it, revolver-styled handguns have achieved a kind of rustic yet sleek appeal to them. Revolvers come in generally the same calibers as handguns, from the modest .22 Long Rifle used for practicing and target shooting to the behemoth .500 S&W Magnum which can put down a bear. "Snubnose" revolvers refer to revolvers with shortened barrels in an attempt to make them more compact.
:* Top Break/Tip up - A revolver with a hinged frame that opens to expose the cylinder. These were originally designed for cavalry, as they are very easy to load. However, the two piece frame is a weakness that limits the power of cartridge that can be used. Due to this, these types of revolvers are rarely used today, and are mostly relegated to using low-powered ammo between the .22 and .32 range.
:* Swing Arm - By far the most common type of revolver, the swing arm mounts the cylinder on a moving arm known as a crane, which allows the cylinder to be exposed for loading. The chief limitation of the swing arm design is that the crane can bend over time and due to rough handling, but several tests would indicate you'd have to be deliberately trying to break your gun over a period of time for this to happen (assuming you aren't using a cheap gun made out of low-quality metal). Modern revolver-style grenade launchers are typically swing-arms.
:* Gate Loading - Named for their loading gate, these revolvers can only expose one cylinder for reloading a a time, with the spent casing being pushed out through the gate by a long ejector rod. Gate loading revolvers are the earliest style for cartridge revolvers, dating back to conversions of percussion cap revolvers. Gate loading revolvers are now rare except for reproductions, revolvers designed to big cartridges, and revolver shotguns. The fixed cylinder is the strongest possible configuration of revolver and thus the most tolerant of high power ammunition.

*Submachine gun - A submachine gun (abbreviated to SMG) is a fully automatic weapon that fires pistol cartridges instead of the larger rifle cartridges. One of the first true fully automatic infantry weapons outside of the machine gun, hence the name. The weapon fulfills a similar role of the carbine, striking a balance between firepower, recoil, and bulk. They also make good stealth weapons, as most pistol rounds are subsonic with heavier bullets and thus much quieter when suppressed. SMGs are the weapon of choice for most specialist police and anti-terror forces around the world, since most scenarios they use them in (i.e. storming a building or something similar, for anything else you got snipers) don't require a lot of range and are much more compact than full-fledged rifles.

:*Personal Defense Weapon - A PDW is a bit of a mix of a carbine and an SMG, firing specialized cartridges with rifle-like characteristics (usually in the 4-5mm range, shorter than a rifle cartridge but longer than a pistol cartridge) at the cost of additional weight. Its original role is as its name implies; a personal defense weapon for nonfrontline infantry, like artillery spotters, scouts, vehicle crews, commandos, etc. Back in the day PDWs weren't necessarily automatic; a pistol with a longer barrel and mounted stock could be classified as a PDW (This was done with the German C96 and Luger P07), today however these would qualify as "pistol carbines". These days PDWs are commonly lumped into the same category as SMGs, as they now fulfill similar roles.

*[[Shotgun]] - Shotguns are smoothbore weapons (as in the barrel is not rifled) designed to fire either shot (multiple steel or lead pellets) or slugs (a single, heavy projectile), although modern times have included other types of ammunition. The ability to fire multiple types of ammunition without modification is one of the main advantages to using a shotgun; converting an anti-infantry weapon into a door-breaching tool, a mini-flamethrower, or a less-lethal weapon with but a switch of the munitions. The vast majority of shotguns are pump-action or breech-loading, though as of 1905 shotguns can come in semi-automatic or fully-automatic configurations, but sheer variety of shell loads makes their reliability highly ammo dependent. For more information see the [[shotgun]] page. The most common bore size for shotguns is 12 gauge (about 18.5mm). Confusingly, higher gauges are lower in size because its based on weight of spheres of lead rather than diameter; a 20 gauge is about 15.6mm, while a 10 gauge is 19.7mm (.410 bore exists outside this and is .410 inch/10.4 mm/67 bore).

*Rifle - Rifles were originally shoulder-fired weapons that had their barrels "rifled" to increase precision, by putting spiral grooves into the barrel in order to have the bullet spin before leaving the barrel; reducing it's wind resistance (otherwise known as drag) and giving it more momentum as it leaves that muzzle. In ye olden days, these were specialist weapons given to marksmen while the common soldier carried a musket. However, because all modern non-shotgun non-explosive firearms now use rifling to improve ballistics, the term is usually reserved for a shoulder-fired long weapon, designed for accurate fire.
:*Assault Rifle - Assault rifles are a term given to any rifle that can be fired on full-auto and shoot intermediate-caliber rounds, typically in the 5mm range (or a shortened 7mm round if you're from the Eastern bloc). This is usually the standard weapon of a non-specialized front-line infantryman. The STG44 is considered to be the earliest one fielded in industrial quantity, though the idea has been around since at least the first World War. Traditionally, the term "Assault Rifle" is rarely ever used by servicemen to refer to this type of weapon, and typically call them "Automatic Rifles" or "Service Rifles" instead.
:*Battle Rifle - Basically the assault rifle's big brother; battle rifles are bigger automatic rifles designed to fire high-caliber rounds, typically in the 7mm range. These were the mainstay for armies in the 1950s, but the US eventually found out that giving infantry rifles with smaller rounds is better since its lighter and can allow infantry to be more accurately engage enemies better due to lower recoil (albeit at the cost of power), so battle rifles were replaced by assault rifles for front-line use and battle rifles were relegated to specialists like marksmen or support gunners (who's job permits for a slower-firing but more powerful weapon). The M1918 BAR may count as one, though the first occurred no latter than 1942's FG42. Some armies still prefer to use full battle rifles alongside assault rifles, notably the Turkish MPT-76 in 7.62 NATO was made after soldiers expressed lack of satisfaction with 5.56 MPT-55's, though no army only has battle rifles unless it's third world with nothing else around.
:*Carbine - A carbine is a compact rifle, primarily designed to be used in close quarters. In most cases, carbines are based from a parent rifle, and are scaled down by using lighter/smaller parts and shortening the barrel (such as in the case of the American M16 vs M4) or is its own weapon (like the Korean K1A). These are typically given to units who need to engage the enemy at close range and need a rifle for the job, like commandos, assault teams, or other specialist units, or given to units who are not expected to fight on the front but need a compact but decent weapon to defend themselves if the need arises, like pilots or vehicle crews. Carbine may also refer to pistol-caliber semi-automatic weapons that are longer than a pistol, but this is typically only used in the civilian market. The concept of a carbine predates modern firearms, though they existed primarily for cavalry.
**The terminology of what and what isn't a carbine has never been consistent over the course of history. Originally, Carbines were short-barreled Muskets handed out to mounted cavalry units like Napoleons Chasseurs á Cheval, who would either fire from horseback or dismount and shoot like line infantry would do. This definition of "cut down version of the main service rifle" stuck around until World War 1, after that, it becomes a wild ride with main service rifles that were designated as carbines (Like the K98k of the Wehrmacht) or what would probably have been carbines that retained their designation as rifles (like the Lee-Enfield No. 4 and 5) and even weirder in the brief time when all nations around the world experimented with intermediary cartridges, leading to designations like the German MKb 42 (H) (a forerunner for the MP43/Stg 44) or the AK-47 (which was categorized as a carbine in Soviet armoury lists, but as a SMG in the East German Army). So basically, a Carbine is a Carbine when the manufacturer says so.
:*Micro Assault Rifle - Even smaller than carbines; these are ultracompact rifles designed when someone needs a highly portable but powerful weapon. A MAR is basically a PDW that shoots actual rifle rounds. Much like carbines; a MAR can either be based on a parent rifle and scaled down or made as its own weapon. These tend to have low effectiveness for standard calibers, since those were designed for full length barrels, but the logistics of supply are superior.
:*Sniper Rifle - A sniper rifle is a special precision rifle, specifically designed to engage targets at extreme range with lethal efficiency. Many sniper rifles use standard 7.62mm rounds, but high-performance rifles will use more potent rounds up to 12.7mm rounds for extra range and stopping power. Preferably, sniper rifles should use match-grade ammunition to provide consistency and accuracy at high extended ranges. The vast majority are bolt-action for simplicity and power (much more reliable and because all the gasses are diverted into the barrel, rather than some being diverted to work the action; the gun can launch the bullet farther and faster), but there are also a decent number of semi-automatic ones. Sniper rifles are given to special marksmen called "snipers", who are capable of engaging the enemy from extreme distances, usually well away from the scrap.
:*Designated Marksman Rifle - A sort of compromise between battle rifles and sniper rifles, DMRs are precision weapons meant to be used by frontline infantry to accurately engage distant targets that regular infantry weapons cannot. Due to its role, it's generally more accurate than a rifleman's gun, but usually not as effective as an actual sniper's gun (DMRs are usually only effective within 1 kilometer, while SRs are typically effective beyond 1 kilometer). Generally speaking, DMRs avoid using the more high-performance rounds that snipers may use, as it may be detrimental for an infantryman's role.
:*Recoiless - Not a conventional gun in most senses; a recoilless gun (models with rifling are called "Recoiless rifles" though people often miss this distinction) is as the title suggest, a rifled weapon without (or at least reduced) recoil. It does this by basically being a cannon with the back taken off. When loaded the cartridge sits in an open back tube, there is no breach. When fired, the explosion propels the shell out the tube, but an equal amount of gas comes out the other side canceling out the recoil. This means that total muzzle velocity is lower than a cannon with a breech on it, but they make up for it by shooting bigger shells, and with HEAT shells (thanks to the nature of the Munroe effect) the wider the diameter of the shell the more effective it is, meaning even a large slow moving projectile can do a great amount of damage to tanks. Larger, towed versions are often mistaken for field artillery or antitank cannons. Meanwhile shoulder fired versions are often mistaken for their rocket launcher cousins like the bazooka or the RPG; while both rocket launchers and infantry portable recoilless rifles lob antitank munitions at tanks, the recoilless rifle round are not self-propelled by rocket motors and rely on just momentum from the launcher to fly.
:*Anti-Tank/Materiel Rifle - Essentially modern elephant guns; these rifles are geared towards destroying tanks and hard objects, although they are very much still capable of demolishing infantry (albeit overkill since rifles of this type tend to outright cause body parts to explode by the sheer amount of force they carry.). Anti-tank rifles were the norm for years (From the 1910s to the late 1970s) as they were a cheap yet effective way of getting rid of tanks, but advancements in vehicle armor has largely rendered AT rifles obsolete (at least for anti-tank roles, these things can still royally murder lightly-armored vehicles and urban housing, thus why they can be seen in use today). Anti-materiel rifles however, are a bit of an offshoot of AT rifles, and are still in use today. They are often used to take out lighter vehicles, to detonate ordnance at a safe distance or fuck up anything valuable to the other side like radars, communication devices, heavy weapons, etc... They have been successfully used against light boats and even to down the occasional helicopter. Likewise, they have been used by both professional and paramilitary forces due in thanks to their ability to annihilate cover (and hopefully what's behind it) where most conventional small arms won't. Usually chambered in heavy machine gun caliber around 12mm to 15mm barring some attempts at making man-portable 20mm caliber guns interwar to early WW2 though those didn't pan out.
:*Stopping Rifle- A rifle that fires a ludicrously heavy bullet, usually as a single shot but rarely as a bolt action. As the name implies, these were developed to bring down stop big game. like elephants, that were charging at you but eventually became the precursors to anti-material rifles. Unlike the later, range or penetration aren't big concerns so much as delivering a massive amount of energy to a soft-skinned target. While hunting elephants may be illegal today, a large caliber weapon is still useful for defense against large predators like bears or lions, who would shrug off a smaller 5.56mm or 7.62mm to the body. Firing such a heavy weapon while standing or even sitting isn't a pleasant experience; without the right stance, it'll go flying once you pull the trigger.
:*Everything else - Except sniper rifles and most Designated Marksman Rifles, all of the above rifles are generally "military-grade" and thus are generally not available to the public (unless you are in '''<span style="color:#ff0000">The Great</span> <span style="color:#e5e5e5">United States</span> <span style="color:#0000ff">Of America</span>'''*, *NFA restrictions apply). Any other type of rifle will typically be called a "sporting rifle" or "hunting rifle", etc and are either bolt-action or semi-automatic. Technically speaking, most "military-grade" firearms can be modified to become semi-automatic to allow for use within the public.

*Machine Gun - Colloquially a machine gun is a large automatic weapon (though technically anything fully-automatic, ranging from a machine pistol all the way up to auto-cannons), typically fed from a magazine or a belt (or both, as is the case with the M249) and meant to either be man-portable or fired from an emplacement or mount like a tripod or turret. The main difference between MGs and the rest of the automatic weapon family is that an MG is a gun meant to fire with longer continuous bursts as a support weapon; meaning that the machine gunner applies continuous suppression fire at the enemy to keep them down (and occasionally kill those stupid enough to not get the message), while the rest of the squad maneuver. Machine guns are generally heavier, not only because of the volume of ammo they carry; but their parts (such as the barrel) are made of heavier materials so that the gun can withstand the punishing amounts of bullets it puts downrange (firing hundreds of rounds without pause can cause guns to overheat and malfunction, even catch fire or explode in the worst of scenarios, unless they're built for such a task.) Even then, barrel changes occur frequently to change warped and damaged barrels.
:*Light Machine Gun - an LMG is a man-portable MG that fires the same intermediate rounds as assault rifles. They are intended to be almost as portable as a rifle (as in, they can be shouldered, but get better performance with a bipod) and allow machine gunners to provide suppressing fire at the squad level. Some LMGs are magazine-fed rifles with heavier barrels and modified bolts to allow them to withstand the heat buildup of sustained fire (such as the RPK), or else are scaled-down MMGs (such as the M249 SAW).
:*Medium Machine Gun - an MMG is a man-portable MG that fires the same full-power rounds as battle rifles. These tend to push the limit of what's practical for a man-portable weapon, and when deployed are usually fired from a stationary position either on a bipod or tripod due to the recoil they generate. These weapons usually overlap with General Purpose Machine Guns and tend to be deployed at the company level or as a vehicle weapon.
:*Heavy Machine Gun (classic) - The definition of an HMG has changed a bit over the last 100 years so the catagory has been split up into two categories. The classical heavy machine gun is exclusively meant to be fired from emplacements and mounts like a tripod due to their large size and weight and was designed to be fired from a fixed position: constantly, just spitting out bullets for days. Often done with the aid of a water jacket which further increased the weight of the weapon. These are the guns that created the quagmire of the great war. Their heavy weight made them impossible for an infantryman to fire on the move (regardless of what you hear; even Hollywood couldn't make these monsters man-portable in their movies, and those fire low-powered blank rounds and is being held by the like of [[Sly Marbo|Sylvester Stallone]]). But that weight also greatly limited their maneuverability and forced them to stay in a static defensive position. Usage outside of vehicle mounts died off when artillery became more precise and could easily wipe out immobile emplacements. Unlike modern heavy machine guns, classical ones used a standard sized rifle cartridge, the vickers for example used the .303 bullet same as the standard rifle of the day, what made them 'heavy' was the focus on sustained shooting to throw back waves of attacking infantry. Examples include the Maxim gun, Hotchkiss Mle 1914 and the Vickers.
:*Heavy Machine Gun (Modern): a modern heavy machine gun is not designed to fire constantly, but to fire a big bullet. Only slightly too small to qualify for the definition of 'cannon' are weapons like the M2 browning .50 caliber, or 12.7 mm machine gun. Modern HMG's are powerful enough to penetrate light armor and damage fragile equipment on heavy armor (like scopes), making them formidable weapons. Examples of modern HMG's are the Russian DHSK and the American M2 Browning.
:*General Purpose Machine Gun - Essentially a machine gun that can perform multiple roles of the previous stated. Examples of this are the German MG34 (arguably the first of this concept) and MG42/MG3, or (from an American prospective) the American M60 and M240, which can reliably serve both infantry-level support weapon and mounted gun roles by fitting them with the appropriate parts. The first ones used the general rifle cartridge, while modern examples are in 7.62x51 NATO or its equivalents.
::*Squad Automatic Weapon - An attempt to make a GPMG that use the intermediate cartridges everyone else in the squad used. Despite the weaknesses of intermediate cartridges (limited range, low barrier penetration/destruction) being more noticeable in a machinegun role, they is still commonly used by virtue of their reduced logistical requirements and lighter weight compared to other man-portable LMG variants. The RPD, RPK and M249/SAW/MINIMI family are the main entries here, though it seems every modern assault rifle has tried to make a SAW variant with varying degrees of success.
:::*Infantry Automatic Rifle - A more recent concept that seeks to combine the continuous firing properties of a machine gun with an assault rifle's accuracy and ease of use. So far only attempted seriously by the US Marine Corp with the M27; while the higher-ups are pleased with it so far, there is considerable debate about whether its lower rate of fire compared to the M249 will make it less effective at providing suppressing fire.
:*Rotary Machine Gun - Originally known as the "Gatling gun", man's first known attempt to have enough [[dakka]]; a rotary machine gun is an automatic weapon that uses revolving barrels that interchange every time the gun fires off a round. The kicker to this is that it allows the gun to shoot with little threat of the barrels wearing out as they interchange between shots; giving them a small window to cool off before firing again. The end result is a gun capable of firing over 3,000 rounds per minute without fail, or in a smaller scope; 50 rounds per second. Modern rotary guns are electrically powered to allow them to reach such insane speeds, and are given ammo drums that contain thousands of rounds to be able to sustain that amount of bullets being fired; so they're confined to static emplacements and vehicles (unlike what the media constantly portrays; these things are not even close to being man-portable without assistance from powered armor.) These types of guns are used almost exclusively on aircraft. anti-aircraft emplacements, or even anti missile turrets as they're the only non-missile weapon that can reliably hit fast-moving aircraft. But a rotary gun that fires 30mm rounds is powerful enough to tear tanks in two, as well (metaphorically, they only have to penetrate top armor and rate of fire helps). Unlike what the movies would tell you a rotary machine gun does not need a long spinup time to get to full speed: when the trigger is pulled the gun starts to spin and fire immediately.
:*Chain gun - A chain gun is a machine gun that is fed using an electric motor. Instead of relying on the gasses from the bullet to work the action to cycle a new round; a machine automatically ejects and loads a new round in after firing a shot. Chain guns have the benefit of never jamming due to feeding failures, as even if the round is not discharged; the machine pops it out and loads a new one regardless. However, it is also not man-portable as it requires an electric motor to function, so it is only found on fixed emplacements or vehicles. Can easily fuck up any poor shmucks day by perforating the boat or car they are in. People sometimes use the words "chain gun" and "rotary machine gun" interchangeably (thanks, Doom), but chain guns are typically single-barreled, as they don't need the high rate of fire that rotary guns do outside of anti-air guns. If you see an actual rotary barrel chain gun, it's probably a CIWS like the Phalanx or the Kashtan, and while primarily designed for air defense (mostly helicopters and ground attackers who get too cocky) and to shoot down incoming shells and missiles, they can most assuredly put holes in boats and vehicles.

===Actions===
"Action" refers to how ammunition is loaded into the weapon.

*Single-shot: The first and oldest of all; a single-shot weapon is when users manually load rounds into the chamber. This can be anything from loading a new round, cocking the weapon every shot, or pumping the action.
**Muzzle-loaded: The earliest form of how weapons were loaded. This meant you had to load a new round directly into the muzzle, which is where the bullets come out. In its earliest form; muzzle-loaded guns were complicated to arm; you had to fuck around with a wad, powder, and slug. In the heat of battle, you had to ram these down the barrel of your gun in the correct order, light the wick, then aim before the gun goes off. And you had to do all this while standing in the open within firing range of your enemy. Still in use because many jurisdictions have a muzzle loading only season and such obsolete arms are subject to fewer legal restrictions in general.
**Breach-loaded; An upgrade over muzzle-loading and developed shortly after cartridges were invented; breach loaders are where the back of the barrel can be opened so that you can load a new round into it. Many muzzle loaders were converted to breech loaders in workshops near the end of the Industrial Revolution. It is still a popular setup for multi-barreled shotguns. Certain revolvers are breach-loaded as well, but given the size and design of the revolver, this gives them a notable weak point at the top of the weapon where the parts connect together. Most come in flavors such as break action (popular with simple shotguns and flare pistols), trapdoor mechanisms, rolling blocks, falling blocks (attached to levers), or bolt action.
**Bolt-action: This type of action is where you pull the charging handle of a weapon, every time you shoot so that a new round can be chambered. They come in two varieties: faster but weaker locking straight-pull bolts and slower but stronger rotating bolt actions. Originally starting off as single shot rifles, they eventually added magazines to reduce the amount of loading required once smokeless powder was used. These were pretty popular in WW1 and continues to be used today for precision rifles and discount anti-material rifles due to their simplicity and strength.
***Needle Rifle: An early precursor to the bolt action from the 1840's with the Dreyse and Chassepot rifles. Unlike its grandchild in WWI, these used self-contained paper cartridges where the primer is on the tail end of the projectile and the gunpowder is sandwiched between the primer and the rest of the paper cartridge. To ignite the gunpowder, the bolt's firing pin actually needs to puncture the cartridge from the back with a needle and hit the primer. While faster to fire at six to fifteen rounds per minute compared to a regular muzzleloader, their needles warped after repeating shooting and had to be replaced. And in the case of the Chassepot, their rubber seals in the breech would deteriorate and require swapping. Once metal cartridges were invented a decade later, the needle rifles were replaced with fully fledged bolt action rifles as we know them.
**Lever-action: The cool kid of the single-action club; lever-action weapons are those where you have to use a lever to chamber a new round, which was usually mounted near the trigger. Great for shooting from horseback, not so great lying on the ground. This type was made popular by Winchester during the frontier age of the Wild West and even more by Arnold Schwarzenegger when he used a lever-action shotgun during Terminator 2. Tend to be chambered for pistol cartridges and intermediate rifle cartridges because its metalurgy and action weren't strong enough for full rifle cartridges till the 1890s, when bolt actions had started displacing it, and tube magazines requiring flat nosed rimed cartridges while market forces limit them to cartridges that are still made (a crossover that's essentially just .22lr, revolver cartridges, .30-30 and .45-70).
**Pump-action: A pump action is where you had to pull the "pump" of the weapon to cycle a new round. This is the most common action used by shotguns. A few rifles used this setup as well (but only with round bullet heads as pointed bullets have the risk of setting off the primers), and there is one instance of a bunch of madmen creating a pump-action 3+1 (three in the tube, one in the chamber) 40mm grenade launcher.
*Automatic action/Self-loading: Unlike single-shot weapons, it uses gasses expelled by the cartridge or recoil to power a mechanism that automatically chambers a new round after each shot. Generally speaking, the semi-automatic to fully-automatic action is determined by the trigger sear, which may either inhibit the hammer from hitting against until the trigger is let go (semi-automatic), stops firing after a certain number of rounds have been fired (burst-fire), or continuously fires until ammo is expended (fully automatic).
**Semi-automatic: A semi-automatic weapon is any weapon that can fire after every trigger pull, with the user only needing to work the action after reloading a completely empty gun. Most handguns and many rifles are semi-automatic.
**Burst-Fire: A setting sometimes included on automatic weapons, each trigger pull fires several rounds before stopping automatically. Fully automatic fire in a handheld gun tends to very quickly go off target due to muzzle rise, but by limiting fire to a controlled burst, the gun is easier to keep trained on target. The main purpose for this setting is to defeat personal body armor; many types of armor such as ceramic inserts are only designed to reliably stop one rifle bullet, not a close grouping of several hits in succession.
**Fully-automatic: A fully-automatic weapon is any weapon that can fire automatically, so long as the trigger is depressed, rather than pulled each time like how semi-autos work. Automatic weapons tend to be banned for civilian use outside of firing ranges and are only available to military even in countries liberal with gun rights.

===Ammo Storage and Feeding===
This refers to how ammunition is given to the weapon. Also the topic of a /k/ommando's greatest sources of rage; the clip vs magazine misconception. This section will give a short explanation for both.

*Pepperbox - basically the bastard child of a break-action long gun and a revolver; a pepperbox gun has 3 or more barrels loaded and ready to fire, with the gun rotating between the loaded barrels to fire in relatively quick sucession. As this was one of the only ways to get more than a single shot in less than a minute without resorting to carrying multiple guns; the design was wacky but popular during the olden ages (and still today to a limited extent for some pocket pistols). The Empire's Outriders are armed with these weapons if you want a visual of what they looked like. Most pepperboxes where smoothbore since they were made on the cheap and never intended for more than point blank fire.

*Harmonica - Also called a ''slide gun,'' it was a precursor to the detachable magazine, it was basically a reusable steel block with multiple holes drilled into the sides to house preloaded powder and shot alongside percussion caps. While loaded from the side near the hammer on adapted breechloading firearms and manually reset between shots, it still did not solve the problem of gas leakage that plagued early non-muzzleloaders until the invention of brass bullet cartridges.

*Volleygun - A variant of the olden multi-barrel family, the volleygun foregoes single, accurate shots in favor of alpha-striking to saturate the area in lead, having anywhere between 2 to 20 barrels (and you can go well beyond this if your contraption can handle it) and the size ranging anywhere from a pistol to a full-sized artillery piece. As the name describes; it fires all of it's payload in a single volley, basically making it a one-man firing line. This style of weaponry gradually fell out of disuse as more modern firearms were developed (mainly self-loading weapons, which were more reliable and accurate), but is notably still used for the "Metal Storm", a prototype weapon with truly absurd number of gun barrels that go off simultaneously to shred the ever-living fuck out of it's target. The only types still in use today are double barreled shotguns and derringers.

*Superposed load - the disadvantage to using a multi-barreled firearm is that it adds a lot of weight to the firearm. One alternative was to simply stack multiple bullets and charges into the same barrel, and then have the firearm set them off sequentially. The early version of this mechanism was prone to failures, as the bullets were not self-contained and a poor gas seal could result in multiple charges going off, destroying the gun (and the user if unlucky enough) if it was not designed to handle the stress. The King of England was once gifted several such guns and after one exploded killing the guard firing it the whole affair was deemed a very creative attempt at assassination. However, this setup was revived with the invention of caseless bullets and electronic triggers used most prominently in Metal Storm weapons. If combined with multiple barrels, a metal storm weapon can have a bewildering rate of fire. So far the technology is mostly used in multi-shot grenade launchers.

*Bullpup - A bullpup is any weapon where its action is located in the behind the trigger, instead of in front. Bullpups have the advantage of being more compact, whilst still retaining the same ballistic properties of a full-sized weapon as it can use the same barrel length, but the weapon's profile is shorter thanks to the design. However, some of the disadvantages are it not being readily ambidextrous (being that the shell ejection port is directly beside the shooter's face, you cannot switch to a left-hand grip so easily if the situation calls for it. Some bullpups can have ambidextrous controls, but implementing them typically requires tools and is not something you can swap during a fight). One of the more technical problems is weight distribution. Unlike traditional firearms where the weight is typically in the center, allowing both left and right arms to distribute the weight of the gun: most of the bullpup's weight is in the back, so most of the work is being lumped onto the dominant hand, which can cause fatigue faster. The other is poor trigger pull due to the distance from trigger to action, though there are aftermarket kits for many that can mitigate it a good deal. Modern pistols and many SMGs that feed from inside the grip are ''technically'' bullpups, since their magazine and action are behind the trigger and connected by a transfer bar, but they generally aren't counted as such. Despite their on-paper advantages, bullpups have been a hard sell on account of most of their early offerings being either hideously expensive, or finicky garbage, or inciting visceral digust just looking at it, or just straight up not-American enough to make it out of subcommittee at the Pentagon. Their lack of reach with a bayonet is a hindrance (even with modern firearms, room-to-room combat and POW control still use bayonets) while their difficulty with being modular or customizable makes each model a one-trick pony, and ambidextrous usage is very difficult to achieve. On the other hand, a good example is pretty convenient to drop weight and length without losing effectiveness for when space is at a premium.

*Clip - A clip is a device, used for bundling bullets together for immediate use. Guns cannot use clips by themselves, they have to be loaded into a magazine first to be used by a gun. The most common version were "stripper clips": each clip held about five bullets, and to load the rifle you placed the clip on top of the magazine, then squeezed the bullets off the clip into the magazine. Another type, en bloc, was used by the M1 Garand and held eight bullets in a 2x4 configuration. The entire clip was put in the magazine, with the clip being ejected after being emptied. The last kind is the moon (or half-moon) clip, used specifically for revolvers, which holds bullets in a circular formation for loading the chamber up in one go. Clips are still used today, but exclusively to speed up loading external magazines. Filling external magazines generally requires a small disposable tool, which is included in any ammo lot packaged on stripper clips.

*Speedloader - A speedloader is essentially a clip that has moving parts, usually to aid with holding and/or loading ammunition. Two common types exist. The first is similar to a moon clip in that it holds bullets so that they can all be loaded into a revolver simultaneously, but use a locking mechanism to secure the bullets while they are being carried, then release them once they are loaded into the cylinder. While not as fast as a moon clip, it still makes loading revolvers considerably faster. Another type of speedloader is the magazine loader, which is designed to reduce the spring pressure in a magazine, making it faster and easier to load.

*Magazine - The magazine is part of the weapon that houses and feeds actual ammo into the weapon. In the olden days, many guns had magazines that were built into the weapon itself and were fed using clips of ammo that were loaded after the gun ran out. Built-in magazines, however, severely limited the potential ammunition capacity of guns as they cannot be expanded without significantly making the gun larger and was a pain in the ass to reload (such as in the case of revolvers). To counter this; people designed guns whose magazines were detachable from the gun itself. This allowed people to easily expand the ammo cap of a gun, as they only needed to ensure that the extended magazine will fit into their gun and cycle properly, they no longer needed to re-work the entire structure of the gun to enlarge a built-in magazine. It also greatly increased a person's reload speed, as instead of fumbling around with several clips to ram down the gun: they just had to detach a magazine, pull one out of their vest/bag, load it in (charge the gun if needed), and they're good to go. High-capacity magazines tend to take on weird shapes rather than the standard flat box; the most common variant is the drum magazine, but there are also double drums, caskets, and helicals. Typically the weakest part of any firearm. A large part of the misconceptions of the M16 were related to the fucktarded idea that it should be issued with DISPOSABLE MAGAZINES! They were initially not intended for repeated use, empty the mag. Drop it, crush it under your boot, reload a brand new never used mag. Worked well till some bureaucrat ordered reusing them which alongside some other bureaucrats skipping the chrome lining for the barrel and issuing really shitty ammo made with spare parts caused regular failures. Newer iterations of the magazine have since addressed these issues.

*Belts - The belt is what it is; a long belt filled with bullets, which can either take the form of a cloth belt or linked by metallic chains. Belts are the common loading method of most machine guns, who typically have ammunition capacities well beyond 100 rounds. The reason for this is that it simplifies the operation of the gun (since belts do not require them to be fed to the gun with a mechanism like in traditional magazines) and makes them less prone to malfunctions (with a gun designed to shoot continuously; you wanna make sure that there's less critical moving parts to fuck up as it's firing it's 300th round at the enemy). Belts are also much easier to transport, as the belt can be folded several times to make it more compact, versus a solid magazine. This is mostly because until H&K put out their steel high reliability 5.56 nato mag, most magazines couldn't keep up with the fire rate and were too flimsy(The Soviet counterparts that used magazines, used AK pattern magazines which you can open a beer with and then load into the gun). Pretty much every man issued a M249 with the magwell adapter, will attest to how dire you must be for bullets in the air to use it but it's better then nothing when the belt is out and your buddies can toss you a couple mags rather than sitting on your thumb waiting for someone to drop their gun.

==Ammunition themselves==
To call a round or cartridge "a bullet" would be the equivalent of calling of calling a magazine a clip. Bullets are the projectiles that are or to be launched, while the "round" is the entire thing. To do otherwise would summon the wrath of the /k/ommando.

===Composition of the modern round/cartridge===

*Casing - The metal jacket that houses the propellant, primer, and to an extent the bullet (pardoning telescopic munitions which house the bullet completely.) Usually made from brass, they can be made from steel or plastics (at the detriment of the gun itself, unless designed for such).

*Propellant - Powder that is used to propel the bullet/slug/projectile. In the good ol' days, it used black powder (which was made from charcoal, sulphur, and saltpeter - either potassium nitrate or sodium nitrate), but those clouded the air with black smoke, left soot in the gun, were corrosive, and weren't powerful. Most modern rounds use a double base powder (generally guncotton/nitrocellulose, both dry and in a dissolved form called collodion, and nitroglycerin), may include a variety of stabilizers (to improve shelf life of the round) and deterrents (to prevent the cartridge from being too "hot" and prematurely combusting or shattering the barrel from overpressure). Historically, the British formed their propellant as stiff string called Cordite stuffed into cartridges before the mainstream use of small grains took over. For artillery, they make good use of triple base propellants, which is smokey as hell but burn well with no corrosive fouling.

*Primer - What activates the powder in the rounds themselves. Replacing the finnicky and hydrophobic matchlock, wheellock, and flintlock, they're percussion caps filled with sensitive explosive compounds (like picrates, fulminates, perchlorates, styphnates, tetrazenes, or azides) that ignite upon being hit. Generally a firm dent is enough to activate the munitions. Modern commercial ammo generally use non-corrosive compression sensitive materials, though many governments kept using corrosive primers well into the Cold War due to surplus stock and cost reduction.

*Bullets - What people get tripped up on in naming munitions. Being the projectile, anyone loading the munitions has a vast choice of what can be used as a bullet. Generally, lead, steel, and tungsten make the core of the round (thanks to their weight) while the outer coat for the round could be lead (since it is also very malleable), copper, and nickel, though Teflon and certain plastics can also be used. If you're feeling lucky, you can load a variety of other materials into the rounds (or shells for shotguns). Take for example salt, which doesn't kill, but you can mark people and they sting like hell. Alternatively, if you're riot police trying to suppress a crowd without killing them, you'd use bullets or shotgun shells loaded with rubber, foam, wax, plastic, bean bag rounds, or tear gas with reduced propellant. If it hits you in the head or in an unlucky spot, you might die from blunt force trauma but it's less lethal than an actual bullet.

===Types of bullets===
As a short note on bullets, its important to know that just because a bullet can easily penetrate armor doesn't mean its a definite upgrade over everything else. If a hard bullet like the FMJ or AP penetrates the human body and exits in the same shot; its gonna hurt like hell but unless that bullet was in the 12.7mm (.50 caliber) category or it hit something important like a lung or the head; the target has a good possibility to survive through a combination of medical aid, hormones (adrenaline in fight or flight), and willpower (with the side possibility of stimulants), and even still continue to fight onwards if they're that [[Ork|dead 'ard]]. That said, if a 12.7mm round came tearing through your body; it has enough momentum to potentially rupture a good chunk of your insides which is ''very'' lethal, but 12.7mm guns are generally not mainstay (these are guns like the Desert Eagle, M2 Browning, or M82 Barrett), so unless you're a real-life action hero, a turret gunner, or a counter-sniper; its unlikely for you to have access to these behemoths.

Likewise, if a soft bullet like the JHP or SP penetrates the body, then which expands, fragments, and/or tumbles inside; in short internal and external bleeding would be the most urgent of the target's concerns, with ruptured organs and torn muscles leaking like a broken sewage pipe, thus making HP lot more lethal and debilitating. That said, soft bullets fragment easily and body armor proportionate to it's caliber can reliably stop soft round. That said even if armored; the target is still gonna feel the impact of the bullet's force hitting against his body, and that still has the potential of killing someone if the circumstances are right (although its still unreliable).

In the end, a bullet is either specialized where it's only effective against either armored or unarmored targets, or a special combination that renders it effective against both types (although these require an experienced smith to manufacture properly).

*Ball - though if we start talking bullets we need to start with the first bullet: the lead ball, from where we derive the common term for bullets as 'rounds'. It's...just a lead ball though, not much to say about it. The balls were hand made, often by soldiers themselves since lead has such a low melting point, with the molds often being unique to each gun. This used largely the same process that was used for [[Sling]] bullets since antiquity. These early bullets would be smaller then the barrel and so would often 'rattle' down the barrel due to the ill fitting, which combined with a lack of rifling would mean early guns were horribly inaccurate (you could still reliably hit your targets at ranges between 70 and 100 meters, this is only true if we compare it woth modern firearms, which have their range measured in hunderes, if not thousands of meters). If one used a larger bullet that better fitted the gun, one could use rifling, but this required, (see above) hammering the bullet into place to make sure that there were no gaps.

*Minié ball- The first bullet we would know as a 'bullet', and the first truly distinct from a lead ball. A Minié ball is a conical bullet with a concave hole in the base. When fired the base flared out from the pressure of the blast, letting it engage with the rifling of the gun. This meant that it formed a seal with the barrel making it incredibly accurate, while not needing to be tightly hammered down the barrel. The best of both worlds. Combined with it's large size these things were lethal on the battle field maiming and crippling an entire generation of soldiers during the US civil war.

*Full Metal Jacket (FMJ)- Generally a lead or steel bullet encased in a soft metal such as copper. Acts a sort of lube as well as preventing fouling of the barrel. Depending on design, has a potential to fragment post impact, shredding internal organs.
**Synthetic Jacket- FMJ ammo with a plastic jacket, which has the advantage of reducing cleaning requirements and safer when hitting steel at the cost of various things not really relevant in practice ammo. Currently only in handgun calibers and only made as practice/match ammo (though some hollow points and AP rounds do also use polymer jackets).

*Hollow point (HP)- The hollow section in the center makes the bullet expand on impact, creating a bigger hole in its victim at the expense of being less effective against armored targets. That being said, the decreased penetration also makes it safer to use in situations where over-penetration could be dangerous (e.g. on an aircraft). Certain designs have bladed tips on expansion, causing additional cutting and bleeding too. It was banned from military use by the Hague Convention of 1899, so restricted to police, civilians, and, as of 2017, the United States Armed Forces (The US didn't sign that provision, but previously stuck with FMJ even after mass production became feasible for the sake of NATO compatibility).

*Semi jacketed Hollow point (SJHP)- Same as a hollow point, but has a copper jacket to help reduce fouling.

*Jacketed Hollow Point (JHP)- Same as above, but fully covers the bullet down to the tip.

*Wad cutter (WC)- Flat tipped bullet. Not very aerodynamic but it leaves a big hole to help tell you where you hit the target. Generally for closer range paper targets as they lose velocity very quickly due to the drag on them.

*Semi Wad Cutter (SWC)- Like the wad cutter, but more aerodynamic.

*Armor Piercing (AP)- As name implies, intended to penetrate armor, be it person or equipment. However, this ultimately depends on what gun you're shooting from and what armor you're shooting at. A 9x19mm AP steel round coming from a 4" barrel will do diddly to NIJ Level IIIA, where as a 7.62x51 AP flying out of a 24" barrel will punch through it easy as you please. Modern AP rounds are often jacketed in plastic, but this is purely to protect the barrel (turns out sending something meant to destroy steel through a steel barrel results in a wrecked barrel) and adds no armor piercing quality.

*Saboted light armor penetrator (SLAP)/Saboted bullets- Think of the discarding sabots fired from a M1 Abrams or a saboted slug of a shotgun, but redesigned to be fired like a standard rifle round. The sabot is designed to the grip the rifling until it leaves the barrel, then discard after leaving the barrel. This would leave the penetrator or bullet with a high velocity while providing a sufficient spin to the bullet to keep it stabilized in the air. With a higher density and/or thinner bullet, they can potentially penetrate better than potentially even APHE. Likewise for handcrafted bullets, they provide higher velocity for a smaller bullet in a cartridge intended for a larger caliber.

*High Explosive incendiary (HEI)- Explosive tipped munition. Generally for larger rounds (think 7.62 and beyond), they typically are meant for non-infantry targets such as light vehicles, light aircraft, and barriers, showering those inside with speeding shrapnel. Despite their implication, they might not work as well as one might think against hard target.

*Armor Piercing Incendiary (API)/Armor Piercing High Explosive (APHE), High Explosive Incendiary Armor Penetration (HEIAP)- Designed with the intentions of penetrating hard targets that HE rounds can't do alone and being anti-material in general, API and HEIAP are the answer to those targets. Generally have sufficient power in and behind the bullet (think Raufoss Mk.211), it will penetrate body armor and light vehicles with awe-inspiring ease.

*Soft point or semi jacketed - Like a FMJ, except the tip is exposed. Designed to have the reduced drag of a FMJ, while expanding upon hitting a target similar to a hollow point. Generally designed for hunters in mind.

*Ballistic tip - Similar in performance to the semi-jacketed bullet, but rather than being a solid core of lead it is designed like a hollow point, but with a plastic tip at the end to reduce drag and ensure expansion.

*Ratshot - made for smaller-caliber guns and is basically birdshot for rifled barrels. The tip is a plastic cap that contains a small amount pellets, typically within the 1.5mm range. As the name implies; the gun is primarily designed for shooting pests and small animals like rodents and grass snakes. You can use it to shoot at larger pests like coyotes or humans, but it's woefully underpowdered for the job.

*Matchgrade - ammo designed primarily for shooting competitions and/or extreme feats of marksmanship. Very expensive compared to popular alternatives and impractical for common use, but you get what you pay for: a cartridge produced with the finest minds R&D could muster, subjected to much more rigorous batch testing and quality control, and guaranteed to shoot a bullet as far and accurately as physics would allow. Rounds alone do not make an accurate firearm however, so the gun it's chambered in has to be well-maintained and designed for precise shooting in mind.

*Tracer - a regular bullet coated in pyrotechnic coating that ignites when fired. These are most commonly used with machineguns (every fifth round in a belt, to be exact) since it's useful for the gunner to accurately see where all his bullets are going, as well as make it clear to any enemies he's suppressing just who he's aiming at. Similarly rifle magazines are often loaded with tracers at certain intervals to provide indication of remaining ammo. Of course, the caveat is "tracer's work both ways" as they can give away your position; this can be mitigated by using "dim" tracers that can only be seen through night vision goggles. Sometimes also used by spotters or commanders to mark a specific target. They can potentially set fire to objects, if the incendiary compound hasn't burned out yet on impact.

*Less-lethals - Commonly known as 'rubber bullets' even though they're made of other substances such as plastic, foam, wax, and beanbag rounds for shotguns these days. Used in riot control and such, where the shooter isn't allowed to kill. The key word is "less", however. They hurt like a sonovabitch and can still kill in the wrong circumstances when they hit you in the head or a sensitive area, though. Some, such as blanks or wax, are also mixed in with real rounds before being loaded in weapons of a firing squad to make the responsibility of an execution unclear amidst the shooters. Airsoft this ain't.

*Silver - Pure fantasy, but common in there to counter supernatural creatures weak to silver. Silver bullets would suffer from many problems that rarely get mentioned in fiction. Chief among these are the cost, that silver shrinks when cast (so it's really hard to get the right size and shape), and that silver is too soft to engage rifling so even if you get the right size accuracy will be terrible. [[Monster Hunter International|More /k/ aligned works]] solve these issues with solutions like sabots (which helps accuracy but still worse than real bullets), ballistic tips made of silver and frangible bullets filled with powdered silver (instead of the typical competitively cheap metal).

===Types of Rounds===
Apart from the traditional type of rounds, here are some unique ones for reference.

*Blanks - What you commonly see loaded in movies. Blanks are basically that; the round has a primer and powder, but the bullet is just a paper or plastic sheet (or "wad") designed to keep the powder in, so you get the sound of a gun going off, but not the damage. That said, blanks ''can'' still kill people, that wad is still powerful enough to liquefy organs and break bones if you were dumb/desperate enough shoot someone with a blank at close range (plus the gas itself is hot enough to cause severe burns at that range). Movie armorers make a point of demonstrating this with things like fruit before letting anyone touch blank firing guns. This is why instead of blank-firing guns, actors will use flash paper guns at close range for safety. There's also blank ammo specifically designed to make as much noise as possible for the purpose of disorienting and intimidating people in an area. In a military sense blanks do have a use: typically for turning your rifle into a grenade launcher, using the expanding gases to launch a grenade held at the muzzle by a cup. Blanks can't cycle a gun's firing mechanisms in the same way as standard bullets can, so self-loading guns that fire blanks have to either be made specifically to fire them or be equipped with an adapter that compensates for the reduced pressure.

*Caseless - An old but futuristic concept, a caseless round has everything required for the bullet to be launched, inside the bullet itself. [[Memes|That's 65% more bullet, per bullet.]]This removes the need for guns to eject spent shell casings after every shot, reducing weight and ammo costs. While this has been pioneered since WW2 and a few prototype examples for it were already developed (like the G11); caseless rounds are still determined to be too unreliable for field combat use in comparison to traditional ammunition, so as of today their use is largely limited (mainly to grenade rounds like the Russian VOG-25 grenade). Their biggest disadvantage is that ammo cases normally transports a large amount of heat out of the weapon, and, if you have paid attention in your physics class, you know that heat always has to go ''somewhere'', so with caseless ammo, it naturally goes into the weapon, making it prone to overheating and dangerous cookoffs, unless the ammo somehow counteracts this, making it more complex and therefore expensive in the process, and if you've at one point in time interacted with any branch of a national government, you know that the word "expensive" usually spells doom for any project that it is attached to.

*Gyrojet - A unique but largely impractical cartridge in the gun circuit, WH40K's famous [[bolter|boltguns]] run on the same concept as the gyrojet. Basically, the bullets are miniature rockets that build up speed as they travel, capable of exceeding the speed of sound after traveling 60ft. While the idea sounds cool; gyrojets were ''required'' to gain minimum distance to achieve their full effect (if you fired at point-blank for example, they didn't really do much), had a design flaw in their propulsion system that made the rockets prone to corkscrewing off-course, and were highly temperamental to environmental conditions, not to mention the costs. At the end the concept was a bust as it didn't really do a lot that couldn't be achieved with traditional small arms for cheaper. Still GeeDubs thought it was nice and became the basis of how boltguns work, where it's largely the same but with more techno-flubdubbery and "because future".

*Magnum - Unlike what vidya gaems portray, magnums aren't really super-mega handguns of death. A magnum round is basically a parent cartridge that's been enlarged so it does more damage due to a combination of larger mass and more powder used (so it flies faster and hits harder), and this can be anything from the .357 magnum handgun round used by revolvers, to the large caliber .338 Lapua and Winchester magnum rounds used for precision sniper rifles.
** Special - An earlier equivalent. The only two to see continued existence are .38 special and .44 special which also went from black powder to smokeless powder, both of which coincidentally have even longer magnum variants; however both are lengthened only as a safety precaution to make them different, as smokeless powder left plenty of room for more powder.

*Overpressured - Designated as "+P", overpressured rounds still uses the same cartridge (unlike the magnum), but is loaded with higher-pressure powder that releases more energy when fired. It sounds like a nice way to up your damage, but guns have a level of pressure they can tolerate, and if your gun isn't designed to do such and you use +P rounds; you run the very high risk of destroying your gun (and the rest of your body if you're that unlucky). There are guns that are proofed to fire +P and +P+ ammo but it is typically used in SMGs. Certain batches of surplus ammo will blow up guns because they were made to be used in more robust SMGs and not commercial pistols, poorly stored, or just plain poorly made.

*Subsonic - Rounds designed to shoot slower than the speed of sound to prevent creating the loud cracking sound a projectile makes when it goes beyond 345m/s, making them more stealthy. There's three ways to go about this. The first is to put less powder in the round, or use specialized one that explodes with and imparts less energy (although this may cause problems for self-loading guns, who are not designed to cycle using less powerful ammo). The other is to make the bullet much heavier than usual so the standard powder load doesn't have enough energy to have the bullet break the sound barrier, although this translates to slower projectile speed and lower range, but increased chances of armor penetration as heavier bullets retain energy much more efficiently than lighter ones. The last is a combination of the two methods. Subsonic munitions are primarily used in silenced weapons for their sound-reduction benefits (the most extreme case of which is that only the cycling of the gun can be heard, the gunshot is virtually inaudible), although some take advantage of certain subsonic rounds' heavy bullets and low-energy for defeating armored opponents at close range (as the lower energy translates to lower chances of overpenetration, which AP bullets have a tendency of doing when tearing through non-armored parts of the body).

===Types of shotgun loads===

*Buckshot - The shell is filled with lead or steel pellets, each of which is typically around 15mm each (it ultimately depends on the bore), that spread out once discharged. Poor at penetrating armor and limited effective range comparison to other firearms as the pellets scatter and the pellets are too small to do serious damage individually (Although do note that unlike what the vidya gaems portray; a decent 12G shotgun loaded with buckshot is effective upto 30-50m, not just in point-blank range); but they do cover a fairly large radius and the force of 8-12 pellets impacting against your body will send you tumbling and rolling on the floor in agony, even if they don't penetrate.

*Birdshot - Similar to buckshot and more pellets, but the pellets are smaller (5mm and less, although still depends on the bore). As their name describes; the ammo is designed to pelt down birds by [[Ork|throwing as many bullets at the target and hoping atleast a few of them hit]]. You can use them against non-avian targets aswell and they'll do something, but they don't pack the punch you'd like and don't expect them to dent body armor too much. Their ineffectiveness against human targets [[Wikipedia:Dick Cheney hunting accident|was demonstrated by a (possibly drunk) Vice President of the United States]] when he shot an old guy in the face with some and the only lasting damage was the voice.

*Slug - Instead of multiple pellets; the gun fires a single, heavy lead projectile, similar to how traditional ammo works. Because shotgun barrels are not rifled; slugs do not have the range nor accuracy rifles do, but because of their weight and the shotgun's fairly large caliber; they're fully capable of crushing their way through armor at close range. Slugs are typically used for hunting large game in areas where rifle ammunition isn't allowed due to the risk of overpenetration.

*Breaching - A specialized variant of the slug round, breaching rounds are designed specifically to destroy door locks at extremely close range. Generally composed of very dense powdered steel held together with wax.

*Less-lethals - Designed for riot control where the shooter isn't allowed to kill; the bullet is either made of rubber, paint, or beanbags designed for minimal penetration, while the powder used in the rounds is less to reduce the projectile's velocity. The end result is a bullet designed to simply cause shock and pain to the target in order to incapacitate them long enough to be arrested and not rejoin the fight in the meantime. That said, you're still talking about launching an object at someone at speeds similar to cars speeding on a highway; so hitting vulnerable parts of the body like the head, neck, or ribs can still result in a fatality. On the flip side, anyone wearing bullet-resistant armor won't be affected too much.

*Chain-shot - Typically reserved for olden cannons, the chain-shot is two cannonballs linked with a chain. The spinning contraption was intended to tear through a ship's mast and sails. Obsolete as fuck, but it is still possible to replicate this with shotgun ammo. Basically you tie two pellets or slugs together so that when they're discharged; they're basically flying garrotes. Awesome, but because of how unpredictable bullets are while in flight, it's highly impractical for combat use.

*Flechette - Buckshot, but instead of pellets; the shell is loaded with small metal darts. They achieved better penetration and range than traditional buckshot; but because shotguns aren't really designed as precision weapons; they were highly impractical for combat applications. They destroyed barrels and tended to deflect off really silly things like raindrops.

*Explosive Rounds - The shell contains an slug that explodes upon impact, capable of using anti-armor or anti-personnel shells, basically turning the shotgun into a portable grenade launcher. Not as powerful as the real thing, but invaluable when you need accurate explosions but not the excessive collateral damage or restrictive weight and mass. Has seen some use in rifle rounds on the eastern front of World War II as well as in .50 BMG (officially for use on objects, not people).

*Dragon's Breath - An odd type of ammo. DB shells are loaded with magnesium pellets. When discharged; they create a short but hot burst of fire that burn at temperatures upto 1,600°C. While not really used much for conventional combat due to its status as an incendiary weapon, blasting a person with this at close range will create about the same results as a giant fire-breathing lizard incinerating an unlucky knight to death, hence their name. Also destroys barrels, as dragon's breath burns hotter than the melting point of steel, and close to the melting point of chromium (two of the most common metals used in gun parts).

*Misc - Shotguns aren't really picky with ammo since they are manually operated and don't depend on a gas seal as much; just about ''anything'' can be used for bullets if worse comes to worse/you're bored. Could be lego pieces, could be old hard candy, solid scrap,frozen meat [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-n4bxxn9gA or even glass]. They can also fire flares (but need stronger propellant and an unchoked barrel to avoid getting stuck and melting the barrel). Hell, it can be a Sly Marbo tabletop figure if you could fit him inside a shell and prevent him from disintegrating from the force while exiting the barrel, the choice is yours. (More likely blow up your gun as Sly refuses to die and gives you the finger for trying.) Incidentally this unfastidious in ammunition also means that in a fantasy setting you can basically load anything you want down the barrel of a shotgun to deal with basically any monster that had a weakness. Wooden stakes for vampires, Cold iron for fae, silver for werewolves, the aforementioned dragon breath for flame vulnerable monsters, salt if that's a thing demons hate in your mythos, freeze holy water into ice and you could still likely shoot it with a sabot. Basically shotguns should be the go to for the modern murder hobo.

==Manufacturing of Firearms==

===Brief Overview===

The production of firearms historically speaking has been an, err, interesting path. The first firearms were little more than metal (or whatever other material one so chose) cylinder with with one hole for the ignition of the powder and one for the projectile to be projected. As time passes on manufacturing techniques got more advanced, leading to triggers which frees up one hand from having to push a hot object into the powder. Most used a sort of striker to ignite the powder, be it flint or rope. Around the early to mid 19th century, self-containing cartridges became a possible reality. As such the firearm had to change too, with an action either simply accepting a round into the barrel or an action that would be worked to put it in. Near the end of the 19th century and start of the 20th, auto-loading firearms became possible, but the actions had to become more complex to automatically feed the round by means of either recoil or gas. After that, guns haven't exactly changed too drastically (still major changes) in the current 21st century, pardoning the much higher efficiency of the modern weaponry. The complexity of modern firearms however doesn't interfere with how cheaply they can be produced. As such, there are endless aftermarket gun parts for sale around in places such as the USA.

===DIY===
[[image:.45 ACP ISB SMG.png|thumb|175px|left|.45 ACP ISB SMG designed from a STEN/Sterling, but has many parts that differ. According to the designer "I like to think of it as a cross between an FG-42, a Welrod and a Sten."]]

First and foremost: guns are not toys, and should never be treated as such.

It comes as no secret that one can manufacture their own guns in one's own home so they chose to ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khyber_Pass_copy Just ask the Afghans]). Depending on the skill of the user, the manufacturing tools used, material quality of the parts being used and/or made, design of the gun, and so on, a DIY can range from a explode-in-your-hand zip gun all the way up to high-quality rifles that have a minute of angle (MOA) of 1 or less. All one need is one's [[Ork|imagination]] and a [[Techpriest|firm understanding on how a gun works from the inside out and machining]]. In addition to that, the internet has a broad data base on the knowledge and schematics of guns. Additionally, while online information is enough to give you a rough understanding to create black or smokeless powder to add to hand-loaded cartridges, the proper equipment, environmentally controlled rooms, and ingredient ratios are hard to get right the first time without causing an accident (as attested to the many Chinese and European chemists who historically died while tinkering to get the formulas right). And while you could arguably use firework material or even discarded nitrocellulose film tape instead, most people are going to simply buy their primers, propellants, and projectiles off the shelves to reload their spent casings instead of building a lab in their basement.

[[image:Homemade_gun_exploding.PNG|thumb|150px|right| Careful you might blow your eye out]]
That said, DIY-guns require a decent understanding of physics, chemistry, and mechanical engineering to manufacturer at all, so unless you're a [[Mekboy]] with all the know-wotz implanted in your brain; its highly recommended you read up first, lest your firearm's first unwitting victim is you.

[[image:Stormbolter_IRL.jpg|thumb|223px|right|If a modern rifle was a stormbolter.]]

Examples of DIY are:

*[[Grot Blasta| Zip gun]]: Bottom of the barrel trash guns that are considered too simplistic and bare bones for anyone who isn't a post-apocalyptic raider or somewhat ambitious convict. These guns are rather unique as they require next to no skill to actually make, often incorporating rubber bands, nails, plumbing supplies and zip ties into their construction (hence their name) to craft something that [[counts as]] a gun while firing (sometimes); a common example is the slam-fire shotgun which is literally two pipes (one just wide enough to comfortably fit the shell with the other one wide enough to fit the other pipe while sealed at one end) that are slammed into each over where a fixed nail at the end acts as the firing pin.

*[[Stubber| Standardized design]]: With gun laws around the world becoming ever more strict its little wonder that some would protest such bullshit by creating guides on how to make fully functional semi professional designs in your shed. At one end of the spectrum is the infamous Luty gun which is a family of submachine guns specifically designed by a man named Philip Luty to be buildable by anyone with some basic hand tools in protest to the British government’s delusion that they can prevent criminals from getting guns [[derp| by making guns illegal]]. Said designs (including the related Carlo SMG’s) have been found in the hands of organized crime and guerilla groups in particular lawless or insurgent-prone regions like South America, Palestine, and other developing countries. At the other hand of the spectrum is artisanal gunsmiths like the ones in the Khyber Pass region on the Afghan-Pakistani frontier that clone their gun parts off existing models they got their hands on and disassembled as a [[Standard Template Construct|master template]].

*[[Shoota| Experimental design]]: Every line of guns started out as a experiment somewhere. Some catch on, some don't, some just are there because why the heck not? Want to have dual barrels on your gun? Go for it! Add a counterweight to the gas block so that the recoil is next to nothing? Makes shoot a breeze! Add a round cam to your bolt so you can have a smooth action and reduce wear on the gun? No reason not to! The choices are endless if with time, diligence, and a bit of imagination.

*[[Tau| CNC Manufacturing]]: Avoiding the painstaking effort of machining it by hand [[Machine Spirit|a machine do it for you?]] A Computer numerical control (CNC) machine can easily set the settings in any digitally-connected presses, lathes, mills, saws, and drills to crank out receivers and whatever other parts you need assuming you have the plans on the computer and the materials to be worked. In most countries, it's only necessary to mill some of the components as most firearms have a single designated part which is legally viewed as "the gun" (usually the receiver for rifles and the frame for pistols) and everything else is considered replaceable. The downsides of that CNC are a bit pricey relative to their hand milling machine counterpart. However some go for as low as $1200, which is roughly the same price as a mid-tier intermediate rifle in the USA.

*[[Wraithbone|3D Printing]]: while of questionable quality and legality the same way [[3DPrinting|3D printed]] miniatures are with “official” tabletop gaming tournaments, the additive manufacturing spinoff of [[Casting]] can theoretically enable you to form all but the most stressed parts of a firearm. Barring the barrel, receiver, and firing chamber (besides springs, screws, and attachment pins) of a firearm that are better off milled or stamped from metal, one can theoretically 3D print all the other parts of a gun frame from the stock and grip to the fire control group and trigger. Examples range from small pistols (like the single-shot Liberator) to full power rifles (such as the Amigo Grande clone of the CETME) with all other kinds of intermediary weapons in between. For simplification (unless incorporating an existing gas piston system attached to a pre-made metal barrel or using a much weaker roller/lever delayed blowback system), most aren't more advanced than blow-back powered semiautomatics as building a gas-operated piston system with plastic is suicide. In addition, unless built by someone who really knows what they’re doing, actually shooting full-power ammunition out of a 3D printed gun is as risky or worse as firing bullets and shotgun shells out of a plastic flare gun. So far, some 3D printed guns, like the FGC-9 carbine, have been seen in the hands of organized gangs, neo-IRA, or Burmese partisan groups.

==Relations here==
Most fantasy writers tend to exclude firearms. There are a variety of reasons for this, such as:
*Most fantasy comes from [[Tolkien]], who, being a naturalist who largely despised industrialization, did not put guns in Middle-earth, although gunpowder does exist, used by the wizards (Gandalf's Fireworks and Saruman's Fires of Orthanc) and by the orcs.
*Most fantasy (whether copy-catting Tolkien or not) is based on medieval Europe. Depending on your definition of "medieval," Europe did ''technically'' have firearms towards the very end (crude and unreliable ones, but firearms nonetheless), but most authors base their fantasy on earlier medieval Europe.
*As in real life, firearms mean that vulgar, dirty, peasant conscripts can take down the author's Mary Sue noblemen [[knight]]s that trained ''so'' hard in the arts of swordsmanship and melee combat, though if the writer had any historical knowledge they would know that armor can be made "proof" against early firearm bullets (which is partly what spurred the development of full-body plate mail to begin with, as a sidenote) or that a crossbow or longbow can just as easily (in fact, MORE easily due to the general shitty performance of old guns) turn an armored man into swiss cheese.

All that being said, most fantasy authors are much more open to cannons, which became viable on the battlefield long before smaller firearms anyway, especially in naval use (cannons were a huge game changer for sea battles). Some even make room for crude rocket launchers, especially if there is a not-China/not-Korea in their setting. (Laugh, but a big firework rocket will put a sod on fire and ruin his day just fine, doubly so if the morons are in wooden fort.)

Generally speaking, if a world has both the "stock" fantasy races and guns, there will a strict hierarchy of who uses them, from most to least likely:
*[[Dwarves]]: They almost always have the best, most plentiful guns. If only one race gets firearms, it's likely going to be them. In settings already rife with firearms, Dwarves will be the first to have repeating firearms, or even spec them into much more "multifunctional" use; being able to turn your heavy mining equipment into heavy weaponry at a moment's notice has its advantages after all. And of course, built-in bottle openers are a no-brainer.
*[[Gnomes]]: As tinkerers, they're frequently on a different tech level from everyone else, including firearms.
*[[Human]]s: Unlike the other races, which are usually an all-or-nothing deal, different human nations have different likelihoods of having guns. Italian and East Asian analogues, as well as the "industrious" or "scientific" nations, are much more likely to have them. If you're going to make firearms at any scale that matters in warfare, you're going to need lots of skilled artisans, plenty of steel and minerals, and cash to pay for their creation and the training of conscripts to use them. Your barbarians, guys keen on knights and chivalry, and the more conservative less so. If the nation is Post Renaissance, expect pike and shot style IRL analogue armies. If your setting has pirates, you pretty much have to have cannons at the very least.
*[[Orc]]s: Orcs would probably love guns if they could actually build some. However, they're usually either incapable of building things or have a hard time organizing themselves to the point that large-scale firearm and powder production is possible. Even so, they could still obtain them them by other means such as fighting as mercenaries for guns and stealing them off the corpses of the fallen and similar. They are higher on the list if they are more like Tolkienian orcs, which can be fairly well organized and "delight in explosions" enough to manufacture their own gunpowder, if only for simple bombs. If Orcs are of the more Chaotic Evil variety then they will barely have crossbows, let alone guns. If Orcs are of the Klingon variety, as in the violent tendencies are normal enough that the civilization can function, then they will LOVE big guns.
*[[Elves]]: Being arrogant pricks, they see guns as crude, inaccurate, foul-smelling contraptions that are no substitute for a bow. However, they'll still use them when necessary, even if they don't like it. That said, elves also had a good reason to not use them, namely most firearms in a fantasy settling are arquebus-type single-shot smoothbore weapons, which are outranged by longbows. Longbows are even decent against most kinds of armor ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Agincourt ask the French]). The main advantage of firearms, even early ones, is ease of use and armor penetration though armor could be made that could stop an early handgun. The main problem with longbows is that it takes years to learn, which is not a problem for long-lived elves. Between a smoothbore handgun and a longbow, the bow is simply a better choice to an elf. The problem of course is that longbows are about as good as bow technology can get while handguns can be improved to rifles, against which bows only have rate of fire as an advantage, then Repeating Rifles, which bows have no advantage at all against. So while Elves may have an advantage to sticking with their longbows well into the age of pike and shot, if they're not careful their Longbows will end up fighting against Springfields and Winchesters and they will end up the worse in that exchange. If tech reaches that point, expect the Archer/Hunter stereotype to turn into Snipers/Mad minute riflemen. And if they're still vehemently opposed to foul-smelling gunpowder, it's possible they could consider air guns (like the Girardoni air rifle used in Europe and by Lewis & Clark's exploratory mission). Assuming they can make a reliable air pump and pressure tank on their own.
*Wood Elves and other Fey/Nature types: They'd rather die than use a firearm, even if the rest of the world has moved onto biplanes, bolt-action rifles, shell-firing cannons, and tanks. If this happens, this means they either have powerful magic (so the actual weapons used are unimportant), they are ''really really'' good shots with a bow, they have much stronger friends (Think like the amish) or they're about to get colonized. That said: the problem they have are not guns themselves, but making them as mass production always has some environmental costs they can not stand for. If they could get their hands on some way to make guns that did not harm the environment in the process, at least anymore than making a sword does, they might go small for small scale fire arm production, but this is rarely explored in fiction.

For how this conservative attitude tends to apply to tech in general for fantasy settings, see [[Medieval Stasis]].

Of course, sci-fi writers almost exclusively use guns, even if not necessarily firearms, seeing as how it's THE FUUUUUUTTTTTUUUUURRRREEEE. The exceptions are [[Warhammer 40,000]] and ''[[Dune]]'': although guns are the main combat implement in 40K, close combat is still alive and well, and most armies have at least one elite, close-combat unit wielding weapons that are distinctly not guns; in ''Dune'', guns are pretty much dead as a weapon of war, as personal-scale force fields stop fast-moving matter (like bullets) from crossing them, but slower matter (like swung knives) can pass through, and if a lasgun blast touches the field, at least one end of the equation comes out "BOOM!!!". Most sci-fi universes do have close combat weapons on the scale we see in modern warfare, though, like in Mass Effect, where, as the Reaper forces (who are basically [[Necron]]s and [[Tyranids]] combined) invade the galaxy, people begin developing their Omnitools to snap-produce a white-hot blade of hard metal above the wearer's hand... And then there's the Krogan, who are too bloodthirsty and too large to properly take cover, so they headbutt things instead of using guns.

== Rules ==

Most fantasy RPGs deal with firearms the way they deal with lots of things that threaten their [[Medieval Stasis]]: terror, suspicion, and shitty rules. If you have the option of using a firearm in most games, it probably has one shot that's weaker than a bow, then takes an entire encounter to reload, and is illegal everywhere in-setting in case you didn't get the hint.

[[D&D#Basic_Dungeons_&_Dragons|BECMI]] Dungeons & Dragons doesn't have rules for firearms, but there were one or two adventure modules that incorporated a crash-landed spaceship, with weapons the players could loot. They were treated as magic wands and staves. A few issues of Dragon magazine offered rules for early cannons and hand cannons.

[[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] mentions guns in a tucked-away subsection on importing TSR's Cowboys & Indians game Boot Hill to AD&D (DMG, pg113). Revolver pistols and Gatling guns would do as much damage as a longsword; shotguns as much damage as a two-handed claymore, a (thrown) stick of dynamite does 4x the damage of a short sword. The rules insist "...when gunpowder is brought into the fantasy world it becomes inert junk, ergo, no clever alchemist can duplicate it." To reinforce this concept, the ''Manual of the Planes'' included rules for factors of prime material planes, one of which determined if complex (read: setting destroying) chemical compositions like blackpowder would even work in said plane. If you have any knowledge of chemistry, you may cry now. Notably, [[Greyhawk]] had a [[Murlynd|god of firearms]], and his paladins were basically Wild West sheriffs.

[[Advanced_Dungeons_%26_Dragons#AD.26D_2nd_Edition|Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Second Edition]] included the arquebus in the Players Handbook, where they were depicted as slow, powerful and expensive (500 Gp!). They were also potentially dangerous to the user as the result of a bad roll. It was painfully stressed that the inclusion of firearms in the campaign was the call of the DM. Firearms were a bit more common in the [[Spelljammer]] setting. Moving away from the classic fantasy background, there was the historical campaign sourcebook ''A Mighty Fortress'' that introduced rules for firearms of the 16th and 17th centuries and the ''Masque of the Red Death'' setting for [[Ravenloft]] pushed everything into a gothic horror version of the 1890's.

[[Dungeons_&_Dragons_3rd_Edition|D&D third edition]] has a section on advanced technology (DMG, pp162-164) for Renaissance-era, 20th century, and futuristic weapons. The weapons are more powerful than what can be found among ranged weapons in the Player's Handbook, but also heavier and more expensive and require exotic weapon profiency (despite muzzle loaders taking off because they were much easier to teach than archery). You're better off with magic crossbows. The White Wolf [[Ravenloft]] material also includes them with minor tweaks.

[[Pathfinder]] greatly over complicates guns: they have shorter range than bows without magical items, take longer to reload, and have at least a 1/20 chance to break or explode every time you fire it, and use up more expensive ammunition. As though this wasn't enough, they have a stiff feat tax needed to make use of them and the fact that there's really only one major gun factory in the land, the Gunworks of the small nation of Alkenstar, and they keep most of their guns to themselves. In return they hit harder, have a ''terrifying'' 4x crit modifier, and ''use touch AC'' in the first range increment, effectively ignoring armor when fired close up. A specialized class, the [[gunslinger]], is centered around the use of firearms. [[Lasgun|Energy weapon]] specialists in Iron Gods have it a bit better, though ammo is limited for most of the adventure.

[[Dragonmech]] has guns, sort of kinda, as well. Only instead of using gunpowder, they use steam to propel the bullet like an airsoft gun. they can only be fired once every other round as the pressure needs to build up. There Treated a bit like crossbows that do more damage and can shoot a little further.

[[Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition]] includes a section on firearms in the ''Dungeon Master's Guide''. They hark back to 2nd edition in terms of stats, fitting the general tone of the game, but aren't quite as punishing for a player to learn to use and make. And with the increased emphasis on houseruling and homebrewing, modding the Crossbow Expert feat to work for them seems a simple leap of logic. The "race builder" guide in the back even suggests changing around the dwarf weapon proficiencies to include them! Furthermore, if you want to get your [[Expedition to the Barrier Peaks]] on, it includes some futuristic guns as well, like lasers and disintegrators.

[[Warhammer Fantasy]] features firearms based on early real-world equivalents, like flintlock pistols, musket rifles and the blunderbuss. Although deadly and still on the experimental side, they're also considered very unreliable and are prone to misfire and sometimes even to explode. Rpg-wise, firearms were already included in the core rulebook of Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay 2nd Edition, but were later somewhat expanded in the Old World Armoury supplement. Some variations that function like firearms were also added as weapons to some Skaven classes in the Old World Bestiary supplement. Generally speaking, firearms require more costs in order to be used, as each shot requires a firearm shot (bullet) and additional gunpowder. Except for the obvious disadvantages of becoming useless once getting wet and longer reloading times, firearms deal more damage than bows and crossbows, with more complex models even having a repeater function, but obviously longer reloading times for each barrel to be loaded again.

[[Iron Kingdoms]] takes full advantage of guns in its steampunk setting. Most of the kingdoms have at least Napoleonic-era muzzle loading rifles. Cygnar is a bit more advanced with revolvers and machine guns, as well as tesla-style lightning guns. The iconic Gun-Mages carve runes onto their bullets to allow them to empower their shooting with spell effects.

{{MedievalWeaponry}}

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

2026-03-25T06:27:36Z

Archange1: Undo revision 1008404 by 192.42.116.179 (talk)

[[File:Jojo Logo.png|400px|thumb|right|English logo for Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.]]
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If there is one thing you should know about '''Jojo's Bizarre Adventure''' before you delve into it, it should be this one thing:

It's dumb. ''It's so fucking dumb... And yet it works.''

While the the story varies wildly based on the arc, it has a basic synopsis. It covers the multi-generational (and eventually multiversal) heroism of the Joestar family, who are constantly getting involved in all sorts of weird shit that results in epic, crazy, surprisingly clever fights and super-manly scenes. The title comes from the protagonists' common nickname, "JoJo", since most of them bear first and last names that start (or sometimes end) with "Jo". Although technically you can just pick up any saga at random, it's slightly easier to follow along if you read from the beginning. ''Slightly''.

Created in 1987 by manga artist Hirohiko Araki, Jojo has had an influence on not only Japanese anime and manga but internet culture as a whole. List a common anime trope, chances are that Jojo is either the originator or made that theme very famous. Cheering sidekicks, multiple-chapter battles, attacks that defy every conventional belief you can dream of, ''flamboyant poses,'' you name it.

Naturally, the ever-increasing popularity of the series has led to more visibility for its media AND its fandom, [[Skub|for better and worse.]] Outside of the obligatory 'actual' references in other shit, this includes such phenomena as people using nearly every opportunity possible to make Jojo references, people complaining about the fandom making references, [[Recursion|people complaining about people complaining about the fandom making references]], "is this a Jojo reference?" becoming a meme all its own... you know, the usual. Nowadays, you'll probably still see the sporadic Jojo meme here and there outside of /a/. One of the 4chan banners created in the earlier days is based on the manga. ("Your next line will be 'I was just pretending to be retarded!'" "I was just pretending to be retarded! ''?!'' He...he captured...my favorite trick!")

Its most well-known incarnation is probably Stardust Crusaders, mostly for how iconic Jotaro and Dio were as well as the popularity from the OVA and fighting game.

==JoJo and /tg/==
[[File:Pillarstodes.jpg|thumb|right|Wamuudes, Custodisi, and Karstodes; the personal guardians to the Emperor of Mankind.]]
JoJo is one of three anime/manga that /tg/ will openly admit they like, the other two being [[Berserk]] and [[Fist of the North Star]]. Hell, the early art style of JoJo is heavily inspired by FotNS, even Jonathan's outfit being very similar to Kenshiro's. Like the two aforementioned manga, JoJo is considered to be an extremely manly series, with a predominantly male cast and the protagonists usually kicking ass to get to their objective without much thinking (edit: this is false, Jojo protagonists win fights by creating strategies that could blow up a Zoanthropes' brain from how ridiculously convoluted the strategy is but the sheer ridiculousness of the strategies is apart of the reason why Jojo is so silly). However, at the same time it is flamboyantly gay, with many male characters being shirtless or wearing revealing clothing and striking strange/fabulous poses, making its relationship with /tg/ somewhat confusing and [[skub|conflicted]] considering that /tg/ usually shies away from most stuff that is homosexual. It has however, also been described as "flamboyant masculinity", as none of the characters are actually gay despite outward appearances. One could say it's because it's like a breath of fresh air how silly it is, or the end goal of each arc is ultimately pretty simple; protagonist has to beat the shit out of and/or kill the big bad, end of story. The tone of any arc can change in an instant, becoming dumb and happy to dire and [[grimdark]] within a couple chapters. It's also because the action is often too awesome that fa/tg/uys turn a blind eye to the gay stuff. Or we just love it that way, since that's mostly what made JoJo popular in the first place. Plus Araki puts ''scads'' of references to classic rock and metal into Jojo, so that helps too. Also, the art is honestly very good, especially in the latest tomes.

We've had several Quest threads on /tg/ that relate to JoJo, the most popular being the multi-part [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=JoJo%20Guardsman%20Quest Guardsman's Bizarre Adventure]. We also have Super Stand Sunday, when /tg/ comes together and makes their own Stand every (you guessed it) Sunday.

The /tg/ interpretation of the [[Eversor]] Assassin is pretty much Dio Brando, down to him striking his trademark pose and crying "WRYYYY" before proceeding to cut up whatever enemy is in his way. Probably the most popular /tg/-JoJo relation, however, comes in the form of the YouTuber Bruva Alfabusa's "[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device]]" series, where he makes several references to JoJo throughout the series. The most popular reference is definitely the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9w_uoUHgiE Pillarstodes]; Adeptus Custodes based on the Pillar Men from Battle Tendency. This actually isn't that far off the mark, since there is in fact official (albeit old) art of shirtless Custodes. Still, the Pillarstodes are quite flamboyant and hedonistic, but nonetheless they're also kickass.

Of course, there's also a RPG based off of JoJo, [https://desu-usergeneratedcontent.xyz/tg/image/1444/25/1444251939283.pdf here.]

It wouldn't be surprising if Hirohiko Araki himself was a fa/tg/uy himself. He's mentioned in some lectures and interviews that he decided to create an RPG/board game-style system for JoJo where characters travel to different places to fight enemies, as seen in Stardust Crusaders onward.

For the story of a complete (but short-lived) JoJo campaign, see [[JoJo's Bizarre Storytime]].

==Generation Sagas (Parts)==
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure's Story unfolds over generations having completely different characters, settings, themes, and even art styles so technically the series should be called "JoJos' Bizare Adventures". The timeline progresses linearly so every Part happens in the order they were published but, for the most part, each story is isolated so it's possible to start anywhere and not miss much. Additionally, each Part takes a different approach to story-telling along with differing with art styles which could almost make any Part after Phantom Blood and Battle Tendency seem like a completely different series. In fact, it's very common for details of characters' designs changing during their first appearance or the art style changing completely within a few chapters.
===Part 1: Phantom Blood===
[[File:Phantom Blood.jpeg||thumb|right|200px|''Phantom Blood'' cover]]
Here's where the [https://youtube/yF00xX-p28Y Story of Jojo] begins - with a Victorian Aristocrat in the 1880s named George Joestar, who becomes the only survivor of a horrible carriage crash. Mistaking the depraved scavenger Dario Brando for a Good Samaritan, he offers the Cockney lowlife a favor, which he eventually uses to get George to adopt his son, the ruthlessly ambitious, amoral and driven Dio Brando, when he dies. This leads to much suffering for George's son, the goodhearted (if rather dimwitted) Jonathan Joestar, as Dio resents him for his privilege and starts to bully him horribly. While Jonathan eventually learns to stand up for himself and even becomes quote-unquote “friends” with Dio, this all comes to a boil years later when George eventually falls ill and Jonathan discovers a letter from Dario outlining symptoms that look eerily familiar.

As it turns out, Dio is poisoning George to steal the Joestar Fortune for himself. Jonathan confronts him and proves his guilt with the assistance of a trustworthy criminal named Robert E. O. Speedwagon (remember that name, it will be very important), whom he met while gathering evidence of Dio’s crimes. This leads Dio to renounce his humanity and use the power of the Stone Mask to become a vampire, but Jojo manages to trap him in the burning wreckage of the Joestar Mansion during their fight. Unfortunately, Dio barely survives and escapes to repair his body while causing all kinds of chaos. With the aid of mysterious Italian martial artist William Antonio Zeppeli, Jonathan masters a mystical martial art utilizing Hamon, an energy that is anathema to the undead: Best described as harnessing the power of the sun through yoga breathing. Jonathan eventually defeats Dio, and all is well as Jonathan marries the love of his life before disaster strikes. While Jonathan and his wife depart by boat for his honeymoon, Dio returns once again and mortally wounds Jonathan, who is able to set the ship ablaze before dying from the attack. Jonathan's pregnant wife escapes in Dio's coffin with a baby she found just before hiding away, continuing the Joestar Bloodline.

Being the first Part of these Bizarre Adventures, Phantom Blood sets the tone for the rest of the series with its over-the-top violence and strange villains. Phantom Blood is a sign of its time with the story being equivocal to your typical shounen manga, but it obviously has some unique factors. Some would say Jonathan is a boring protagonist and that Dio is what makes the Part shine, or that Dio HIMSELF is a boring and generic villain, but regardless, Phantom Blood lands the ground work for the rest of the series. The anime adaptation cuts a noteworthy amount of content to the point that it may be beneficial to both read ''and'' watch Phantom Blood.

===Part 2: Battle Tendency===
[[File: Battle Tendency.jpeg|thumb|left|200px|''Battle Tendency'' cover]]
In the late 1930s, Joseph Joestar, grandson of Jonathan Joestar, is the second Joestar to get into strife when an elderly Speedwagon is seemingly killed by an old ally-turned vampire, Straights. Straights inadvertently allows Nazis to claim Speedwagon's recent discovery which preludes the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUhVCoTsBaM awakening of the Pillar Men]. These ungodly ancient (and ''fabulous'') near-demigods created the vampirizing Stone Masks as part of a process to find a way around their own weakness to sunlight. Determined to defeat the Pillar Men, Joseph partners with the late William Zeppeli's grandson, Caesar Zeppeli, to defeat them just after they awaken. Joseph and Caesar fail, leading to Joseph being forced to defeat the Pillar Men in 30 days before he dies and/or the Pillar Men find what need to become the Ultimate Lifeforms. With the help of Lisa Lisa, a Master of the Ripple (Hamon), and Stroheim, an extremely hammy Nazi Cyborg, Joseph is able to defeat the Pillar Men's leader by launching him into outer space using a volcano.

Joseph's trickery, the inventiveness of the fights, and outright ''bizarre'' nature of this Part make it the favorite of many with the anime only multiplying its popularity with added flair like [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnmH7qQ0AVM Bloody Stream]. Battle Tendency cements the fact that in JoJo smarts are just as important as raw power, as even when up against seemingly unbeatable opponents, planning and quick thinking prove critical to victory.

===Part 3: Stardust Crusaders===
[[File:Stardust Crusaders.jpeg|thumb|right|200px|''Stardust Crusaders'' cover]]
In the 1980s, half-Japanese high-school delinquent Jotaro Kujo takes up the role of hero when his grandfather, Joseph Joestar, reveals that Dio Brando has returned after assimilating the body of Jonathan Joestar, and is now in possession of strange new powers. Jotaro had locked himself in jail due to his "evil spirit" possessing him, but Joseph reveals that this spirit is Jotaro's Stand, a manifestation of his life energy brought on by Dio's revival. When they learn that Dio (now called DIO for some reason) is aware of them and that Jotaro's mother, Holly Kujo, is slowly dying from her Stand, Joseph and Jotaro set out with a Muslim fortune teller, Muhammad Avdol, to find DIO in Egypt within 50 days. Almost immediately, the group is attacked by other Stand Users who have been sent by DIO to kill them; despite these attacks they find allies in the Japanese student Noriaki Kakyoin and the French buffoon Jean-Pierre Polnareff, both of whom were brainwashed by DIO. After crossing into Egypt, the Crusaders recruit a Stand-wielding dog named Iggy before their final trek to DIO's mansion as Holly's condition worsens. In the end, despite DIO possessing the power to stop time, Jotaro defeats him and saves his mother and the rest of world from DIO's ambitions, but at the cost of dear friends.

This is by far the most well known and iconic part of Jojo, with the introduction of Stands being very well received as they allowed the series to breakaway and become truly unique among its peers. Whereas most fighting series suffer from power creep issues, Stands presented a totally novel solution by having each ability have their own strengths and weaknesses, and with battles being won by the creativity of the person wielding it. The arc also cemented the multi-generational aspect of the series by bringing back former protagonists and antagonists, tying them directly into the plot. For the longest time, it was the only Part both prominently featured in the United States AND given its own animated adaptation prior to the 2012 anime. While Parts 1 & 2 only received inclusions into old cross-over games, Part 3 has an SNES RPG (Japan-only but has been translated) and an arcade fighting game that contributed significantly to its popularity state-side. Before the release of the 2012 anime, it would have been typical to see Part 3 represent the JoJo series in crossovers.
There's also an [[wat|American bootleg]] called [http://imgur.com/gallery/J6PJz Diesel] that never survived beyond issue one, and features what is basically an "Americanized" version of the N'Doul fight with ''Geb'' being made of blood instead of water.

===Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable===
[[File:Diamond is Unbreakable.jpeg|left|thumb|200px|''Diamond is Unbreakable'' cover]]
It's the year 1999 in the Japanese suburb of fictional town, Morioh, and the now 28-year-old Jotaro meets a high-schooler named Koichi Hirose while looking for someone named Josuke Higashikata. Jotaro reveals to Josuke three facts: First, he is Jotaro's uncle, despite the age difference; second, his father is a 79-year-old Englishman (i.e. Joseph Joestar); finally, there is a looming threat in Morioh (later revealed to be a murderer). After dealing with the killer, it is revealed that there is someone in Morioh awakening Stands in people by using a Golden Arrow (used to further connect this with Part 3) for an unknown purpose, so Josuke and Jotaro resolve to find him. When the culprit, Keicho Nijimura, reveals his intentions, he is killed by Red Hot Chili Pepper, one of the aforementioned Stands who then steals the Arrow. Akira Otoishi, RHCP's User, learns that Joseph is coming to help find him, so he plots to murder Joseph as he arrives in order to get away clean, but this plan backfires and he is arrested thanks to Keicho's younger brother, Okuyasu Nijimura.

Eventually Koichi and the surly, eccentric mangaka Rohan Kishibe find out there is a serial killer in Morioh from the ghost of his first victim, who requests that they find him. Soon enough, the killer, Yoshikage Kira, is forced to reveal his identity and disguises himself in order to hide from the heroes while trying to keep his desire to kill in check. Fortunately, Kira's cover is blown thanks to the son of the man whose identity he stole, Hayato Kawajiri, and he is killed in a final altercation. With Kira's threat ended, Joseph and Jotaro leave Morioh in the hands of its citizens, The Golden Heart of Morioh.

This Part marks the full change of Stand names going from Gods and Tarot Cards to songs, albums, and bands (leading to plenty of renaming in subs and dubs to avoid copyright issues) along with their powers being more specialised rather than Part 3 Stands' mostly vague and superabundant abilities. Here we learn what causes Stands to awaken along with a more detailed list of rules for Stands. It is important to note that Part 4 is when Araki's art style completely shifts from the almost blocky, muscled style of Part 3 to a softer, slimmer and more detailed and flamboyant style. This part is also important theme-wise, as the major focus of it is how normal people can live with stands and blend in with society, something which would be integral with future arcs, though trouble stills comes their way because somehow Stand users tend to be drawn to each other. It is also a lot more laid-back with almost half of the chapters being about the characters', mostly Josuke's and Okuyasu's, daily misadventures, drawing similarities at times to the slice-of-life genre.

===Part 5: Vento Aureo===
[[File:Vento Aureo.jpg|right|thumb|200px|''Vento Aureo'' cover]]
It's Italy in 2001, Giorno Giovanna (the son of Dio using Jonathan's body, though Giorno never knows this) is a kid with aspirations of becoming a "Gang Star" with the help of his stand, "Gold Experience". After accidentally killing a gangster, Giorno finds himself immersed in the world of the mafia and eventually becomes a member of "Passione" after sparing Bruno Bucciarati. In Passione, he works with Bruno's Gang to move higher in the mafia's ranks and fight off rival gang members that are doing the same. When they are tasked with retrieving the Passione Boss' daughter, Trish Una, so he can kill her, the gang defects and resolve to find the Boss' identity and eliminate him. After fighting off Passione's Assassins, the gang learns of a way to defeat the Boss' Stand, King Crimson (which nobody knows on how it works), from an informant who plans to give them a Stand Arrow. The Boss, now revealed to be named "Diavolo", switches focus to taking the Arrow for himself so he can finally be rid of the gang and take over the world. In a long and intense encounter, Giorno manages to use the Arrow on Gold Experience to turn it into Gold Experience Requiem, which has the insanely overpowered ability of negating any hostile action towards Giorno. Giorno locks Diavolo in an eternal cycle of deaths, and with Diavolo gone, Giorno is able to take his place as the Boss of Passione with his friends as his top officers.

For a long time, Part 5 was considered by many to be one of the weaker entries in the series, mostly due to inconsistencies in Gold Experience's power and an apparently uninteresting character in Giorno due to very flat scanlations removing much of his personality while making several Stands nearly incomprehensible such as Gold Experience and King Crimson. However, newer and better translations are quickly turning opinions to the better. The new anime adaptation also gives it the depth it deserves. Despite whatever flaws there may be, Vento Aureo is still worth reading due to the interesting Stands and villains along with Araki's now more detailed art style. It's especially worth noting the increased attention to villains in this Part, as we get to see actual interaction between them and even character development in some cases.
Vento Aureo is also the first Part besides Part 3 to get its own videogame which is also made by Capcom, and while it doesn't allow one to play all of the notable fights in the story, the rest is detailed in optional cutscenes that can be unlocked. Lastly, this Part is to Italy as Part 3 is to America as this Part is more prominently featured in Italy and is the only Part to have multiple novel side-stories besides Part 3 with at least one being canon.

===Part 6: Stone Ocean===
[[File:Stone Ocean.jpg|left|thumb|150px|''Stone Ocean'' cover]]
Jolyne Cujoh was arrested for a crime she didn't commit (though she did have legitimate priors) in 2015 and is then sent to Green Dolphin Street, a maximum-security prison in Florida. Though her dad Jotaro couldn't bail her out, he did give a small locket (containing a fragment of a Stand Arrow), allowing her to develop her Stand, ''Stone Free'', in order for her to survive and get to the bottom of the conspiracy surrounding it. With the help of other Stand Users, Hermes Costello, Foo Fighters (F.F.), Weather Report, Narciso Anasui, and Emporio they pick up on the trail of Father Enrico Pucci. Pucci is a priest and DIO's most trusted follower who is trying in enact DIO's ultimate plan: to "reach Heaven". Pucci uses his Stand, ''White Snake'' (which has the ability to physically take a person's stand and memories), to steal Star Platinum and put Jotaro in a comatose state. Jolyne and her gang eventually escape prison in pursuit of Pucci who had gathered DIO's Sons excluding Giorno, but they fail to stop the gang from retrieving Jotaro's Disc. Using a bone that DIO had given him, Pucci transforms White Snake into ''C-Moon'', which is capable of finding the optimal point for another transformation to occur. At the Kennedy Space Center, Pucci successfully transforms C-Moon into ''Made In Heaven'' which has the power to accelerate time, the culmination of DIO's plan. Knowing they can't kill Pucci, Jolyne sacrifices herself to send Emporio out to sea where the horizon is accelerating into a void. Waking up back in Green Dolphin Street where Emporio learns from Pucci that they are in a new universe devoid of those killed by Pucci, and the survivors have been implanted with knowledge of their future which is what Pucci calls "happiness". Desperately, Emporio flees to his Ghost Room where he reveals that he has equipped Weather Report's Stand Disc and quickly kills Pucci, "Following the path of Justice is true Fate."

With Pucci's death, the universe experiences another change, where Emporio finds people resembling Hermes, Anasui, and Jolyne. This Jolyne (Irene), invites Emporio and this Hermes to ride with her and Anakiss (Anasui) to go meet with Irene's father for approval of her and Anakiss' marriage. Emporio begins weeping as they drive off before picking up a hitchhiker resembling Weather Report, Stone Ocean comes to an end in this new universe.

A unique factor in Stone Ocean compared to previous Parts is that Stand Users tend to fight alongside their Stands rather than relying completely on their abilities. Overall, Part 6 is the last Part to involve any influence from Dio Brando as well as the end of the original JoJoverse with future Parts taking place in a different universe. Stone Ocean can be considered the most ''bizarre'' Part due to the more crude and outlandish nature of some characters combined with some of the stranger Stands and events. Despite what flaws it may have, Part 6 is just as worthy of a read as any other saga of JoJo.

===Part 7: Steel Ball Run===
[[File:Steel Ball Run.jpg|right|thumb|200px|''Steel Ball Run'' cover]]
The timeline resets to the 1800's, in a universe mostly unrelated to the original Jojo timeline, save for similar characters.
In this alternate universe, paraplegic ex-jockey Johnny Joestar and Italian executioner Gyro Zeppeli cross paths and decide, for better or for worse, to partner up and participate in the Steel Ball Run, a race that spans the breadth of the United States as a test of endurance for both horse and rider (though a horse isn’t required, most participants choose to use ‘em). Johnny was lauded as a genius jockey, but after an accident, he ended up crippled. He was deeply depressed until he met Zeppeli, who could use a mysterious power called the Spin (this universe's version of Hamon), which is able to make Johnny's legs move for a moment. Along the way, they uncover the real purpose of the race when they become entangled with the Parts of the Saint's Corpse, the mummified body of Jesus Christ (seriously), which bestows its owner with incredible power. Johnny also is tutored in the art of the Spin, and develops his own Stand, named Tusk, which can spin and shoot his fingernails like bullets.

As it turns out, the reason the race was even held was because President Funny Valentine wanted to own the complete Corpse, using the race and its participants as pawns in order to accomplish this goal. President Valentine wishes to use to completed Corpse of Jesus in order to bring prosperity, wealth and luck to the United States. Though his goals are ultimately altruistic in their outlook, Johnny and Gyro still oppose this plan because it requires that only America prospers, while everything else is stuck struggling. However, Funny Valentine's Stand, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap(D4C), has the extremely unique ability of dimension-hopping, allowing Valentine to escape almost any hostile encounters and access alternate versions of people and things. The President ultimately gains all the Corpse Parts, and gains a new ability called Love Train, which sends any "misfortune" into another place, making conventional attacks useless. Only when Gyro and Johnny develop a special Super Spin, which is a perfect, infinite rotation, can their Stands Ball Breaker and Tusk Act 4 breach Love Train's dimensional walls and defeat Valentine. Although Gyro is killed in the final confrontation against Valentine, Johnny is victorious, and moves in to finish the Steel Ball Run race. Unfortunately for Johnny, Valentine's last plan was to bring in an alternate version of jockey Diego Brando, who possesses the same The World used in Part 3. Johnny and Tusk prove almost equally matched to The World's time stop, but Johnny ends up defeated. However, Diego is stopped from carrying out President Valentine's plan to use the corpse parts when he is killed after he collides with another, deceased Diego Brando's head, destroying both as per the laws of alternate universes.

Steel Ball Run differs slightly from the other parts in that Stands do not do much fighting like the ones in previous incarnations of Jojo. Instead, Stands are more like special abilities that help the user fight, and enhances the capabilities of whatever weapon the user uses, be they fingernails, steel balls, or revolvers. It's worth mentioning that this Part is generally considered one of the best parts in the series (next to Battle Tendency) due to a sharp increase in the art and writing quality and a greater focus on character development and drama. Seriously the art in this Part is fucking gorgeous, go read it.

===Part 8: JoJolion===
[[File:Jojolion.jpg|left|thumb|125px|''JoJolion'' cover]]
We're back in Morioh, but not as we know it. The eight part of JoJo is based around the SBR version of the 2011 earthquake that hit Japan.

It's some years after SBR, and Morioh was recently wracked with terrible earthquakes which make these creepy images on the ground that gets ripped up. An unfortunate girl by the name of Yasuho Hirose discovers a body among the mess and rescues him. Though he's got no memories and is quirky almost to the point of stupidity, she decides to help the amnesiac 'Josuke' discover his real identity and some really wacky adventures ensue as they find various clues and odd characters that know something about his past. Later, 'Josuke' is taken in the wealthy yet enigmatic Higashikata family, and gets caught up in a conspiracy involving his real identity, human-like creatures made of stone, and a fruit with mystical healing abilities.

This is probably one of ''those'' parts of JoJo, the ones that are known for lots and lots of [[Skub|skub]]. The longer it dragged on, the more it divided the fans. A lot of those discussions are about the overall shift from battles to a plot, the plot itself dragging on longer than it should... or not, abandoned plotpoints from the beginnings that some fans thought were much more interesting than the ones we got. So it's up to you to read and form your opinion... or not.
=== Part 9:JOJOLANDS ===
Part 9, tentatively called JOJOLANDS, was announced in the last volume of Jojolion. Nothing is known about it, aside from the fact that it will star the SBR's Joseph Joestar's descendants and a rabbit for some reason.

The first issue released in February 2023, featuring Jodio Joestar in Hawaii in what is apparently a story about getting rich.

==Characters==
===The Joestars===
====Jonathan Joestar (Part 1)====
[[File: Jonathan JoJo.png|thumb|right|175px|Holy shit, you could grate cheese on those abs.]]
Jonathan is pretty much the archetypal gentleman: Well-mannered, intelligent, and damned determined to protect that which he values. There are many words to describe him: [[This guy|kind, caring, forgiving, honorable]], strong, tall, handsome, clever, and unfortunately, unfortunate. Jonathan was born into a rich family, far away from the cold, unforgiving slums that Dio grew up in, and this was enough reason for Dio to completely hate him. After Dio beats him in a boxing match, assaults Jonathan's girlfriend Erina, and burns his dog Danny alive in a furnace, Jonathan is furious and confronts Dio in the Mansion foyer. Their brief encounter is life-changing as they both discover the Stone Mask, and Jonathan finds his inner strength that allows him to actually fight back.

Years later, Jonathan is an [[Space Marine|absolute tank]], with it taking 3 people to slow him down in a rugby game, and even then he is still able to pass the ball high in the air. Jonathan is also a scholar, working in archaeology due to his interest in the Stone Mask, and during his work he discovers Dio's plot to poison his father and inherit the Joestar fortune. Making his way to one of the most dangerous places in London, Ogre Street, he befriends the criminal Speedwagon, who helps him prove Dio's guilt. When Dio decides to be a tosser and reject his humanity, Jonathan fights him throughout the mansion and succeeds in impaling him on the statue in the foyer and escapes the burning mansion. Some time after Dio's burning, William Antonio Zeppeli appears, instantaneously healing Jonathan with the ripple and revealing Dio's survival. With this new information, Jonathan resolves to hunt down Dio and put an end to his incredibly ungentlemanly vampire shenanigans and learns the ripple from Zeppeli in order to do so. Their journey has Jonathan killing a [[what|zombified Jack the Ripper]], learning of Dio's new ice powers, and gaining the sword Luck & Pluck from Bruford the Zombie Black Knight. When Jonathan's neck is broken by the other knight, Tarkus, Zeppeli sacrifices himself trying save him which leads to Jonathan becoming ''even buffer'' and destroying Tarkus. Meeting up with the other Ripple users, Dire, Straits, and Tonpetty, Jonathan reaches Dio's castle and defeats him in their final battle, ending the fabulous vampire menace. In the proceeding time, Jonathan marries Erina and they prepare to leave on their honeymoon vacation before a completely unlucky series of events occur as Dio is revealed to have barely survived their fight as severed head. Being shot in the throat with Dio's ''Space Ripper Stingy Eyes'', Jonathan loses the ability to breathe and therefore use the Ripple. Using his Last Ripple, Jonathan rigs the boat to explode and holds Dio's head as Erina hides in Dio's coffins as the ship burns around them. In his last breaths Jonathan expresses to Dio his feelings of attachment to him despite how terribly Dio had treated him over the years and passes away before Dio can reply. In the hundred year gap between Phantom Blood and Stardust Crusaders, Dio was able to cut off Jonathan's head and take over his body.
A sign of the era that Jojo's Bizarre Adventure started in, Jonathan physically resembles another [[Fist of the North Star|chiseled, heroic anime protagonist]] that punched his enemies to death. To summarize Jonathan, he was a [[Muscle Wizard|Muscled Scholar]] who fought with Power of the Sun and an all-around gentleman.

Despite being the only Joestar to never have a Stand, it's believed that he would've had one similar to Hermit Purple based on Dio's abilities using Jonathan's body.

====Joseph Joestar (Part 2, 3, and 4)====
[[File: Joseph JoJo.jpeg|thumb|left|For context, he's peeping on a woman taking a bath... who turns out to be his mother. We've come a long way.]]
Whereas his grandfather Jonathan is a gentleman, Joseph is a good-natured but impulsive punk with a temper and a penchant for doing just plain weird things. He is completely devoted to the people he cares for as swore vengeance on Straits for seemingly killing Speedwagon and worrying his grandmother. Joseph is known for his trickster behavior, using his [[Mork|brutal cunning]] to be [[Gork|cunningly brutal]] and turning the ''Tide of Battle'' in his favor. His famous trick is his being able to predict what his enemy is going to say, followed by them repeating the sentence word for word and being momentarily stunned by their predictability.

Unlike Jonathan, who gained the Ripple through formal training, Joseph was born with the ability, but it's not that strong and he can't control it as well as a true master. Though he doesn't have exact mastery, Joseph manages to use the Ripple in creative ways to get out of some dire situations. These traits, combined with his eccentric behavior, makes Joseph one of the most beloved characters in the series. [[File:Wha-what.png|right|300px]]

We first meet Joseph when he arrives in New York with Erina and befriends Smokey. Then, after dealing with a rowdy racist ruffian, a shady guy informs him of Speedwagon's death (said guy subsequently gets duffed for upsetting Grandma Erina). Joseph assures Erina he will protect and is ready when Straits attacks him at the diner where he utilizes his trademark brutally cunning brutality to outsmart Straits including The Joestar Secret Technique. When he learns from a dying Straits that Speedwagon is still alive and of the Man in the Pillar, Joseph sets out to rescue him from a Nazi stronghold in Mexico.

After cleverly tricking (absolutely failing) to trick two guards with his Tequila Girl disguise, Joseph still infiltrates the base in time to save Speedwagon and Stroheim from recently awakened Santana. After messing around for a bit then finding out that his Ripple protects him from being absorbed by the Pillar Man, with Stroheim's sacrifice, Joseph is able to turn Santana back into stone. At Speedwagon's bidding, Joseph meets Caesar Zeppeli (the grandson of the late Will A. Zeppeli) who resents the Joestars for their role in his grandfather's death; this along with Caesar's overall personality puts him and Joseph at odds.

Later when they face Wamuu and quickly realize they're outmatched, Joseph attempts a suicide tactic to save Speedwagon and Caesar but only ends up getting poisoned rings clamped around his heart and throat by Wamuu and Esidisi. This means Joseph is forced to train his Hamon so that he can face the Pillar Men again or die from the poison. Starting his training, he meets the strict Lisa Lisa and her assistant Suzie Q, and bonds with Caesar through their grueling training. When Esidisi appears in pursuit of the Red Stone, Joseph's discourse with him leads to the famous banner and he manages to outsmart the ancient monster man with some difficulty. Joseph locks in his relationship with Suzie Q before going to Switzerland in preparation for the final battle.

He has an argument with Caesar which leads to Caesar going to fight Wamuu on his own, resulting in his death and final Ripple which strengthens Joseph's resolve. When he defeats Wamuu with Caesar's headband, Joseph shows respect for Wamuu who despite killing Caesar, allowed Joseph to receive the final Ripple out of respect and he salutes the fallen Pillar Man as he passes into the wind. There is no such respect for Kars, who backstabs Lisa Lisa in their duel but he is eventually outwitted by Joseph and his plans seemingly foiled when Stroheim arrives with reinforcements. When Kars becomes the Ultimate Lifefrom, Joseph essentially sacrifices himself to kamikaze with an immortal god into active volcano, losing his left hand in the process. While everyone is grieving at his funeral, he miraculously shows up to everyone's surprise with his new wife, Suzie Q, and goes on to become a real estate mogul and start a family.

=====Part 3=====
Returning in Part 3, Joseph is 50 years older than he was in Battle Tendency, though he's still just as buff and silly as his younger self. Thanks to DIO's awakening, Joseph received his Stand, "'''''Hermit Purple'''''", which are purple, prehensile vines that he can use to project and materialize images in an oracle-like fashion in addition to grabbing objects. Joseph takes the initiative and arrives in Japan with Avdol to inform Jotaro of his Stand's true nature and DIO. Before he can formulate a plan to take on DIO, he and the others suddenly find themselves on a time limit when Holly becomes sick due to her Stand so he resolves along with Jotaro, Avdol and Noriaki Kakyoin to travel to Egypt and end DIO's evil. While Joseph is older and wiser, he along with Polnareff bring some welcome light-heartedness to the 50 day Crusade with his overreactions and sayings, "OH MY GOD!". Joseph's biggest accomplishments throughout the adventure are killing Empress, defeating Mariah with Avdol's help, assisting Jotaro against Terrence D'Arby, and telling Jotaro The World's secret. He is seemingly killed when DIO throws a knife into his throat and later sucks a majority of the blood from his body, but Joseph manages to survive this by the time Jotaro performs a blood transplant from DIO's corpse.
A few years prior to Stardust Crusaders, Joseph ended up having an affair with Tomoko Higshikata which would lead to the birth of Josuke. Meaning that he used the ''Joestar Sex-Drive'' to have a child with a 20-year-old woman at the age of 63 while still married to Suzie Q., which she was understandably furious about. For some reason, in the OVA his hair is noticeably a faded blond.
=====Part 4=====
He returns yet again in Part 4 at the age of 79, but it's clear that time hasn't been good to him as his hearing isn't so great and he has to walk with a cane. He's the reason Jotaro arrives in Morioh as Hermit Purple revealed an image of Angelo's Aqua Necklace instead of Josuke when he wanted to see his face. Joseph later has to be protected from Red Hot Chili Pepper as he's escorted to Morioh by boat and finally meets Josuke in person. While he tries to bond with Josuke, he comes off as a senile old man due to his general belligerence before they meet the Invisible Baby. In an attempt to impress Josuke, he slits his wrist so they can use his blood to find the Invisible Baby who had fallen into water. Naming the baby Shizuka, Joseph becomes more lively and no longer carries a cane by the time he leaves Morioh with Jotaro.

Joseph is still alive by the time Part 6 happens and in Araki's words "a little dumber" though he doesn't make a physical appearance. The fact that he wasn't outright killed in the original universe means Joseph was able to avoid the Joestar Curse of dying at young age, but he also broke the rule of finding only one love so there's that. Additionally, in the Steel Ball Run's universe, the Joestar Family Tree includes Joseph Joestar and Suzie Q. meaning that he has a counterpart in that universe, who is known as "Fumi" (And that universe's version of Hermit Purple has a whole body).

====Jotaro Kujo (Part 3, 4, and 6)====
[[File: Jotaro JoJo.png|thumb|right|"My Stand will judge you!"]]
Grandson of Joseph, and the son of a virtually nonexistent jazz player (Sadao) and a housewife (Joseph's daughter Holly). Was a happy normal kid growing up but then started getting into fights with gangsters by the time he was 17. Would almost be an unlikeable prick were it not for his badassness, unflappable demeanour, and being a shonen protagonist.

Jotaro's Stand is essentially what kicks off Part 3, as he locks himself up in a local jail because he has no clue what the hell it even is. After Joseph and Avdol convince him that it's not some [[Daemonhost|unholy possession]], Jotaro then joins along in an adventure which sees him travel the world and punch the fuck out of a lot of people. While less flamboyant than his grandfather, he's every bit as clever as he uses his unflappable demeanor to bluff his way out of numerous life-or-death encounters.

His Stand, "'''''Star Platinum'''''" is a blue-ish muscleman with long hair with so many powers it becomes pretty clear how much of a protagonist he is: Punching shit really fast, a stretchy finger, the ability to pick out tiny details with precision, and (eventually) the power to stop time as "'''''Star Platinum: The World'''''".

Part 4 sees him help out Josuke with taking care of Stand business on behalf of the Speedwagon Foundation, but otherwise standing back to do other stuff. That said, he's still just as powerful, even moreso because he finally mastered the ability to stop time itself. Also despite being older he's drawn in a way that makes him look younger than in Part 3, because Araki loves putting qualities of himself into his characters.

He returns again in Part 6 after finding out that the jail where his daughter is being held has its own issues with Stands, and that Pucci has plans that involve Dio. At this point it becomes clear what his flaws are, as it's revealed that while he is a badass, he's also pretty useless in anything not involving being a protagonist, like being an even halfway decent dad. Using Star Platinum's Time Stop abilities also took a toll on his body, alongside him ending up in a coma due to Whitesnake stealing his Stand and memories (shown by the durability stat dropping from an A to an E), which might explain why he doesn't put in much of a performance during the arc. He ultimately dies in the final fight with Pucci, when the latter pulled [[Grimdark|Dio's knife trick on Jolyne, leaving him screaming in horror and without enough time to stop Made In Heaven, who splits his head in two.]]

He also looks like a commissar which makes him even more badass, who doesn't want [[Awesome|commissar Jotaro?]]

Fun fact: with Japanese naming conventions (placing the surname before the given name), his name would be Ku'''jo Jo'''taro, making him the first Joestar to literally have "JoJo" in his name!

Became a marine biologist, loves him some Dolphins.

====Josuke Higashikata (Part 4)====
[[File: Josuke JoJo.jpeg|thumb|left|150px|Never seen such [[awesome|awesomeness]] in my life.]]
The big shocker here: His father is Joseph Joestar. This in itself is pretty damn scary, as the old man was able to still get kids, though this isn't without consequence. As such, he lives with his mom and grandfather (a policeman). Then he runs into Jotaro and things go very... Bizarre.

Josuke is a bit of a goof like his dad, and sports serious pride in his pompadour to the point that he'll beat the shit out of someone for dissing it. And like his dad, he has a penchant for getting into trouble with his various get-rich-quick schemes. On the flip side, one could say that he's too nice for his own good and his desire to be kind can sometimes put him in bad situations, though he's certainly not [[Stupid Good]]. He is, however, very touchy about his hair and insulting it is a surefire way to catch an assbeating. His Stand, "'''''Crazy Diamond'''''", is able to punch things really fast and restore things that were broken if he knows how they work, a power that could be seriously powerful if he puts his mind to it. However, this is incapable of bringing back the dead (he learns this the hard way), and if he uses this power when mad, things get messed up. Oh, and he can't use it on himself. He is, in true JoJo fashion, able to think of creative uses of an otherwise rigidly defined powerset - he can cut fragments from a wallet photo and "repair" the whole wallet, or "repair" an Italian dish to see if its ingredients include, for instance, poison - both of these are completely plot relevant, by the way.

Josuke sums up something missing from other primary Joestars - someone thrust into BIZARRE circumstances despite having no relation to their cause or origin and overcoming them despite this.

====Giorno Giovanna (Part 5)====
[[File:Giorno JoJo.jpeg|thumb|right|175px|Trust us, this is as much personality as he gets in the scans.]]
The son of Dio using Jonathan's body, making his legitimacy as a Joestar up for debate. Although, less talked about is whether this makes him a [[Dhampir]].

His personality is, simply put, a combination of Dio and Jonathan. He retains Dio's ambition for power, and lusts after leadership of the gang Passione. He is also ruthless to his enemies, and is not above murdering them, or even forcing them to swallow a gun. However, he possesses the Joestar spirit, and genuinely cares of his friends and innocent people. In fact, the main reason he joins Passione is to reform it into a better, kinder organization. Unfortunately, the initial scans and translations of Vento Aureo were dogshit, having butchered Giorno's reserved, steadfast, almost poetic manner of speech into bland, unimaginative and occasionally incomprehensible statements. Because of this, most of the fanbase sees him as boring, unremarkable, and little more than a plot device, though this has fortunately lessened with the anime adaptation. The fact that his Stand, "'''''Gold Experience'''''", has some really bullshit powers doesn't help either. To iterate, his stand can imbue inanimate objects with life (like turning suitcases into frogs or motorcycles into snakes or bullets into trees and beetles or buttons into FUCKING HANDS AND TONGUES) with no respect to conservation of mass and, like Crazy Diamond above, reattach them. He can simply conjure up replacement body parts to heal his comrades, and to add even more bullshit, any damage done to one of his creations will be reflected back to the assailant (though this ability is tapered off in later arcs because even Araki knew how broken it was). In contrast to Crazy Diamond this power ''is'' able to resurrect the dead, though it only works on very recent kills and the resulting beings are essentially zombies living on borrowed time. He also has the power to rapidly accelerate the thought process of something he punches, though this is only brought up in one arc and then never seen again.

At the end of the arc, it becomes even more bullshit as Giorno gains "'''''Gold Experience Requiem'''''", which has the power to nullify actions. Basically, if he doesn’t like something he can go [[Iron heart surge|“nope”]] and Gold Experience Requiem will rewind time to make sure it never happened, leaving only memories. It even works within Diavolo's skipped time of 10 seconds, meaning that it will take action, ''no matter what you do''. It's theorized not even The World's timestop can affect Gold Experience Requiem. This also means that he can (and does) reset Diavolo's death, making for a rather horrifying cycle of death and rebirth.

====Jolyne Cujoh (Part 6)====
[[File: Jolyne JoJo.jpeg|thumb|left|175px|Doesn't matter that she has masculine facial features, she's still hot.]]
Daughter of Jotaro Kujo, the only female Joestar to bear the nickname "JoJo" thus far, though she beats the shit out of anyone who calls her by her nickname. She's essentially her ancestor Joseph if all his bad traits were pushed up a couple of notches, making for a hot-blooded, rebellious, foul-mouthed, quick-tempered pervert. Seriously, we first see her when a prison guard catches her masturbating in her cell, and at one point she confesses to envying/admiring snails since, as [[dickgirl|hermaphrodites]], they can fuck anything and everything they cross paths with. She's got a huge anti-authoritarian streak, and at first, the series seems set on deconstructing the "Joestar Family Traits" and showing how they can make you an unlikeable prick who needlessly gets yourself into trouble. Luckily, the surfacing of the generation's big bad and her finding allies she can actually share her ''positive'' traits with quickly brings her back into line with being the hero.

She's either insanely lucky, or a lot smarter than she appears - which is good, because, on the surface of it, her Stand, "'''''Stone Free'''''", is one of the weakest, as it lets her turn her body partially or completely into string. Sounds lame, right? Wrong. She can do all sorts of shit with that string, from spying on people by using it to catch sounds to tying people up to making stitches to turning into monomolecular wire and reducing enemies to so much hamburger. Also, because the Stand channels its powers through her body, she can use her powers ''and'' have Stone Free do its own thing at the same time, so she's got a giant ghost-buddy that will beat the shit out of you whilst she's snaring 'n' slicing with her string. She has extreme daddy issues with Jotaro, shitting on him until near the end of Stone Ocean. It is somewhat justified though, considering he abandoned her and her mother when she was young. She ultimately gives her life to save Emporio from Made In Heaven, staying behind to fight Pucci to the very end.

====Johnny Joestar (Part 7)====
[[File: Johnny JoJo.png|thumb|right|200px|Johnny is fun, even if he is hypocritical.]]
The SBR version of Jonathan from Part 1, Johnny is easily the most shit-on Joestar of them all. He was a genius jockey raised by a rich horse trainer and racer and pampered through his youth, kind of turning him into a spoiled brat. But later his older brother dies in a jockey accident that may or may not have been his fault, his father disowns him after telling him [[grimdark|"God has taken the wrong son",]] and later after cutting in front of a kid in line for a play, the kid ''pulls a gun and shoots him, paralyzing him from the waist down.'' Just to add sprinkles on this shit-fest his "friends" leave him, no one visits him in the hospital, and he is abused and beaten by the nurses. Truly, he is the Jonathan of the new timeline.

Somewhat notable for being a very-much-deliberate example of an asshole Joestar, even if Jolyne cornered that market one generation before. Compared to Jonathan, he's much more of a sarcastic, cynical asshole who mostly thinks of himself. However, when he is filled with determination or the urge to kill, his eyes fill with a dark flame, signaling a Johnny that absolutely will not compromise for his goals.

After he leaves the hospital he meets Gyro Zeppeli, whose spinning steel balls ignited a reflex within Johnny's crippled legs and made him stand up for an instant. Johnny immediately follows Gyro in the nation-wide Steel Ball Run race in order to learn the secret of the Spin and regain the use of his legs. Throughout the journey, he actually brightens up and becomes an overall better person, even if he doesn't win everything in the end.

His Stand "'''''Tusk'''''" enhances his powers of the Spin, allowing him to fire his fingernails like bullets. As Tusk evolves, his Spin gets more and more powerful, until eventually he is able to rotate his nails infinitely, creating what's effectively a mini-black hole that can rip through dimensions and warp through space and time. He also has occasional conversations with Jesus Christ himself, with Jesus usually offering Johnny words of guidance. He almost always rides a horse since he's a paraplegic, if Gyro isn't carrying him or he's not crawling. At the end of Steel Ball Run, having mastered the Spin, Johnny finally becomes able to walk again and marries with Rina Higashitaka.

Of all the Joestars, Johnny suffered the strangest death of them all. After he used Tusk to transfer Rina and George's Higashitaka stone curse upon himself, his head was crushed by a giant boulder thrown by [[Wat|a tree's Stand. Yes, even trees can have Stands.]]

====Josuke Higashikata (Part 8)====
[[File: Gappy JoJo.png|thumb|left|200px|The strangest Jojo yet.]]
Otherwise known as "Joey Four-Balls", "Gappy the Gap-tooth Wonder", "Jo2uke", and (worst of all) "Josuke Higashikata 8" in official media. He's essentially the JoJolion-timeline version of Josuke from Part 4 and he is an amnesiac who's looking for his origins and why people are trying to kill him. Personality-wise, he just as intelligent as previous Jojos but he's much more eccentric, having a calm demeanor most of the time while also showing some [[Mork|brutal cunning]] at others. At first, he was thought to be Part 8's equivalent of Yoshikage Kira, but that was dispelled when a would-be assassin realizes that Kira, among other things, was an utter narcissist.
Later its revealed that he's really Josuke and Kira (who's a Joestar in this timeline) fused together through a geographical anomaly that combines the DNA of two organisms inserted into the hole. This explains his gap-teeth, both of his eyes being different colors, his quadbollocks, and his Stand's appearance and powers.
His Stand is "'''''Soft & Wet'''''", which is able to create bubbles with stars on them that are capable of taking away properties from his intended targets. For example, he is able to take away a person's vision, making their eyes explode temporarily, take away sound, or even remove friction which causes people to slip and slide on the affected surface. He also has weird star-shaped ears.
Thanks to the merger that created Gappy, Soft & Wet also has some of Killer Queen's powers, like being able to make explosive bubble mines. Its ultimate power-up, "'''''Soft & Wet: Go Beyond'''''", allows Gappy to fire deadly bubble bombs from his birthmark, which can phase through walls and [[Wat|are completely unaffected by causality]], which ends up being the key to defeating Wonder of U for good.

====Jodio Joestar (Part 9)====
The new kid on the block, whose story seems to revolve around him earning a fortune upon some Tropical islands. He's supposedly a descendant of the SBR Joseph Joestar, which he immediately proves by beating up some corrupt cops sexually harassing his brother. He does this with his freaky hell-spider Stand "'''''November Rain'''''", which creates extremely heavy raindrops to keep falling on the cops' heads, likely also turning their eyes red.

===JoJo Allies (aka the "JoBros")===
Note: The allies are organized based on their originating part... because there are an ''assload'' of minor protagonists, and an increasingly large amount of minor villains.

====Part 1====
*'''Robert E.O. Speedwagon:''' Speedwagon is somewhat popular for being the only normal guy in a series about superpowered martial arts and vampires, with his only real "power" being his razor-sharp hat and big hammer. Also for the [[meme]] ''"Even Speedwagon is afraid!"'' (which wasn't even said by him in the anime, it was totally said by him in the manga). Despite being fairly average, he still manages to be good friend to Jonathan and Zeppeli. After Jonathan's death, he moves to America and becomes an oil tycoon. This business eventually becomes the Speedwagon Foundation, which is a vague organization dedicated to helping the Joestar family with things like Stands. Come Part 2, he's now an old man, and he gets kidnapped by Nazis because he knows something about a Pillar Man they discovered. Joseph bails them out and Speedwagon leads them to Italy, where they meet Caesar and Lisa Lisa. By this point, he kinda fades into the background, being an old man and all, but gets a final showing leading the German military forces against Kar's vampire minions. After the events of Part 2, he eventually passes away, without any family or heirs, but having left the Joestars and their descendants a semi-paramillitary organisation filled with cutting edge tech and resources to fight against any paranormal threats, something that becomes rather helpful in Parts 3 and 4.

*'''William A. Zeppeli:''' First off, he has a fabulous hat. Second off, he was trained in the Ripple by a man named Tonpetti after his father and the ship he was in sinks because of the Stone Mask. having been trained by a master, he manages to pull some fine tricks like shooting disks of wine as weapons and stretching his arms to punch things. He then trains Jonathan after learning that the Stone Mask is still around. He eventually dies in a fight with Tarkus ([[Tarkus|not the awesome bald mehreen]]) where he literally gets split in half with a chain and then gives his last life's energy to power up Jonathan. This in itself begins the long line of close allies (usually Zeppelis) sacrificing themselves for Joestars.

====Part 2====
*'''Caesar Zeppeli''': Grandson of Baron Zeppeli. A student of Lisa Lisa, he has a major chip on his shoulder as he blames the Joestar family for his grandfather's death. However, he also blames himself for the accidental death of his father shortly after discovering the Pillar Men in Rome. As a Hamon user, he's more experienced, even adapting a unique bubble projectile attack. Caesar dies fighting Wamuu because he gets impatient and goes after the Pillar Men alone, but not before putting up one hell of a fight. He hates Joseph's guts at first, but under Lisa-Lisa the two become [[gork|total]] [[mork|bros]], fighting by each other's sides until his death. Since he's Italian, he automatically makes women wet when he talks to them.

*'''Lisa Lisa''': Aka Elizabeth Joestar, Joseph's mother. She was forced to abandon Joseph and adopt a new identity when she discovered that her husband's murderer, who was also a top British military leader, was in fact a zombie, and killed him. She becomes the Hamon mentor for Caesar and Joseph, pushing them to their absolute limits to prepare for the Pillar Men. Lisa Lisa uses a special scarf that conducts Hamon in her fight against Kars. However, because Kars doesn't play fair, he nearly kills her and takes the Red Stone that she was guarding. Towards the end she tells Joseph that she's his mother... which, had she said so sooner, would've prevented him from spying on her bathing in an earlier scene. Considering she's 50 years old, she's an absolute MILF since looks like she's only in her early thirties.

*'''Baron Rudolf von Stroheim''': A goose-stepping Nazi who just can't shut up about how Germany is the greatest country in the world. Arguably one of the most fabulous minor characters in the series, and allegedly also the design inspiration for Guile. Initially a bad guy for kidnapping Speedwagon and seemingly trying to weaponize the Pillar Man he found in Mexico, he eats a grenade in an attempt to prevent Santana from escaping. That would be the end of it, but then he suddenly appears in the Swiss Alps as a cyborg with a fucking [[dakka|.50 cal]] in his chest to help kill the other super-vamps. Said machine gun is seemingly fired via pelvic thrusts. After spending the remainder of the arc being a badass and saving Joseph's bitch ass a couple times, he returns to the Wehrmacht to fight World War II. The epilogue describes him singlehandedly covering the retreat of Nazi forces from the Soviet invasion of Berlin, or Stalingrad in the anime. He died as he lived, screaming his head off about German greatness, and stuffed with enough guns to run an artillery battery.

====Part 3: The Stardust Crusaders====
The titular main crew of Part 3 and while the title is never actually used as they normally referred to as the "Joestar Group", it goes unspoken that "'''''Stardust Crusaders'''''" is the true name of the group. They are a team of four, later five then six, Stand Users united together to save Holly Kujo by traveling to Egypt and stopping DIO's evil within 50 days. Considering that they're all of different nationalities, it's a point of humor that they're all able to communicate with each other perfectly with no mention of their native languages.
[[File:Part3crew.png|350px|right|]][[File:Lets Go.png|250px|thumb|Names Picked, Classes Assigned, Points Allocated, '''Let's Go!''']]

*'''Muhammad Avdol''' (or Abdul): An Egyptian fortune teller and expert on Stands. His stand is '''Magician's Red''', which uses fire-based attacks. Avdol is a close friend of Joseph, and helps explain Stands to Jotaro. He's a no-nonsense character who uses his knowledge of the other Stands to great effect. He defeated Polnareff and spared his life and allowed him to join the group. After arriving in India, Avdol is seemingly killed by a cowboy and an in-bred man, but survives because the bullet apparently only grazed him. He uses his faked death to purchase some safe transportation for the team ([[Derp|which ended up being boarded by another assassin anyways]]). Avdol is killed off for real by Vanilla Ice, when he pushes Polnareff out of harm's way despite saying he wouldn't do so again. Props to Araki for not making him a Middle-Eastern stereotype, considering Stardust Crusaders came out around 1989.

*'''Noriaki Kakyoin''': A Japanese student and MILF enthusiast from the same school as Jotaro. His stand is '''Hierophant Green'''; its main attack is an emerald projectile shower called "''Emerald Splash''", and he can also extend its whole body into coils that stretch long distances, as well as enter very small spaces. At first he's being mind controlled by DIO through a flesh bud and attacks Jotaro, but the latter manages to subdue him and even remove his flesh bud in an extremely risky impromptu surgery. In a show of gratitude, Kakyoin joins Jotaro's team, having found kinship in the other Stand users. In the final battle against DIO, Kakyoin is killed, but not before figuring out DIO's power and conveying the message to Joseph. That's right, Kakyoin is Jotaro's Zeppeli.

*'''Jean Pierre Polnareff''': A French swordsman with an absurdly tall hairdo; in fact, some guys from /v/ might recognize him as the inspiration for SNK's fighting game character Benimaru. His stand is '''Silver Chariot''', an armored swordfighter that can slice with incredible speed and precision. Like Kakyoin, Polnareff was being controlled by DIO's Flesh Bud, but is defeated by Avdol and promptly joins their group. His motivation is to find the man who raped and killed his sister, who just so happens to be one of DIO's assassins, as well as get revenge on DIO himself. Polnareff is highly emotional; he hits on every lady he meets, he's deeply concerned about finding adequate toilets on their many stops (a difficult task in the Middle East), and he blames himself for Avdol's death (both times; see above). Nonetheless, he's a very capable fighter. Polnareff is the only fighter besides the Joestars to survive the battle against Dio. In all he's also a big goofball who is frequently the butt of jokes, which due to Araki's writing style led to him getting the most screen time of the heroes in Part III. Some point after Part 3 but before Part 5, Polnareff would find himself battling Diavolo and nearly DIE, lost both his legs and almost an arm, becoming wheelchair-bound as a result. He then becomes a contact for Giorno's gang as they begin looking for clues to Diavolo's identity and they all meet at the Coliseum. And then he pretty much dies and stabs his stand with the Stand Arrow, turning it into a super-stand that can swap spirits and force evolution. Once the battle ends, it's revealed that Polnareff's spirit survives... inside a turtle. Granted, it's a stand-using turtle, but still.

*'''Iggy''': The final member of Jotaro's team, introduced halfway into the series. He's selfish, ornery, anti-social, and likes to fart on Polnareff's face. Oh, also he's a dog. Yes, dogs can be Stand users too. His stand is '''The Fool''', which allows him to construct anything from sand, whether it's a giant attack dog, a hang glider, or a protective shell. He gets in a vicious fight against Dio's guard falcon, Pet Shop, which ends up costing him his leg. Iggy later sacrifices himself to save Polnareff from Vanilla Ice.

====Part 4====
[[File:Morioh Stand Users.png|400px|thumb|right|The Morioh Stand Users. From left to right: Yukako Yamagishi, Jotaro Kujo, Joseph Joestar, Shizuka Joestar, Arthur, Reimi Sugimoto, Tonio Trussardi, Koichi Hirose, Okuyasu Nijimura, Nijimura Sr., Josuke Higashikata, Rohan Kishibe, Toshikazu Hazamada and Aya Tsuji.]]
Given the nature of Part 4 the JoBro gang is more modular in nature than it was in the previous parts. The below three, combined with Josuke and Jotaro, are sometimes known as the "Duwang Gang", aka the main characters of the show.

*'''Koichi Hirose''': Josuke's best friend, he's a short dude who just happens to be the same age as Josuke. He's not quite as weird, but he finds himself in much weirder situations as a result, like getting stabbed by an arrow and evolving his stand, or finding out his girlfriend's a stand-using psychopath. His Stand, '''Echoes''', is a real special one because it gains three modes over the course of the story: ACT1 just makes lots of noise, ACT2 throws these sound effects and they actually happen (like making a sound effect for fire and then the place combusts), and ACT3 suddenly replaces the sound powers and becomes some short guy whose punches imbue such a powerful force that its targets slam into the ground. He's usually the more reasonable guy and he happens to be nice. He's just incredibly bad with luck. He appears again early in Part 5 to help Jotaro confirm Giorno's identity.

*'''Okuyasu Nijimura''': The archetypical ''yanki'' thug with a really big heart. Sure, he first met Josuke as an enemy and nearly killed Koichi, but it's revealed that he and his brother were only causing trouble to find a cure for their freakishly-mutated unkillable dad. They eventually find common purpose when Okyasu's brother is kidnapped and killed by an enemy stand user and they become friends from there. And then...the gangster becomes a bigger nut than Josuke. His Stand is called '''The Hand''' and its [[Faptau|freakishly huge right hand]] can erase whatever it comes into contact with (including the air, which creates vacuums that pull Okuyasu and his victims around). Like Vanilla Ice's power, this is fucking awesome, but Okuyasu is too dumb to use it properly.

*'''Rohan Kishibe''': A master manga artist who happens to live in Morioh. He's an egotist to the worst degree and hates Josuke's guts, but has nothing but respect for Koichi and Jotaro. His Stand, "'''''Heaven's Door'''''" allows him to read people like literal books, which lets him rip out pages (which harms the user in a way) and write in commands that the victim must obey. His whole jackass act is a bit more justified once it's revealed that as a kid, his parents and a neighbor of his were murdered by Kira, and he was only able to survive because the neighbor hid him. Some believe him to be a self-insert of Araki though this likely wasn't true in his earliest appearance in Part 4 due to his personality not being representative of Araki's own. The fact that he received his own side mangas, with one of them being "Rohan at the Lourve" which is very likely inspired on Araki's own trip to the Louvre.

=====Citizens of Morioh=====
Diamond is Unbreakable takes place entirely in Morioh, so almost every supporting character is a citizen and very few are not in some way quirky or ''bizarre''. With the rule that Stand Users are attracted to other Users put into play, a lot of characters are either normal people who happened to gain Stands or are affected by them. Many of them start out as antagonists but later calm down once whatever craziness they were involved in is resolved, so here are all the citizens that are forgiven.

*'''Tomoko Higashikata''': Josuke's mother, who had him with Joseph. Despite not actually being a Joestar by blood, she seems to have had a few of the family traits rub off on her, like not taking shit from cat callers and promptly smashing their face through a car window, denting the door. Despite Joseph walking out on her (and being an old, old man) she still wants him back for some reason.

*'''Tamami Kobayashi''': A con artist who guilt-trips people into giving him money. He is aided in this goal by the power of his Stand, '''''The Lock''''', which attaches itself to people and amplifies their guilt, growing heavier when doing so. Eventually people give in and do anything to stop the weighing guilt, including killing themselves. He tried to swindle Koichi but failed, instead going after his mom and sister (the latter of which he was going to try and fuck using the power of his Stand). He was beaten by Koichi when Echoes hatched from its egg and Koichi used its sound abilities to counteract Tamami's guilt-trips. Despite effectively trying to ruin his life and nearly killing his mother, Koichi forgives Tamami after some threatening jokes. Started out as an average-sized dude who shrank down for no reason in the manga, while in the anime he was short all the time.

*'''Toshikazu Hazamada''': An introverted student that goes to the same highschool as Josuke & Co. that gained a Stand thanks to Akira Otoishi. Hazamada appears to be timid at first but it's quickly discovered that he has a very stubborn and depraved personality which is characterized by his Stand, '''''Surface'''''. Surface is a Stand with no real form unlike others such as Crazy Diamond, instead it is able to control human-shaped objects like wooden mannequins at Hazamada's bidding and mimic a person's appearance down to their voice and personality. If the person being mimicked is close enough, Surface is capable of completely controlling all of their actions through its own movements, though it can't control Stands.

*'''Yukako Yamagishi''': A classmate of Koichi, Yukako develops a crush on him that quickly develops into an obsession. The inspiration for the ''Yandere'' archetype in modern Japanese media, but with the twist that she actually grows into a genuinely decent person over time. Has the stand '''Love Deluxe''', which lets her grow and control her own hair.

*'''Nijimura Sr.''': A former servant of DIO and the father of Keicho and Okuyasu Nijimura. He has an unidentified Stand, which got him attention from DIO and while he was paid well for his services, DIO didn't trust him and implanted him with a flesh bud. Unfortunately, when the Stardust Crusaders killed DIO, the flesh bud burst and mutated Nijimura into the monstrous form of a green, tumour-ridden elephant-man. This wracked his mind, rendering him unable to speak in anything but moans and thanks to the cells from the flesh bud, he is functionally indestructible.

*'''Tonio Trussardi''': An Italian chef who moved to Morioh and opened a restaurant, ''Trattoria Trussardi''. Like real Trattorias, there is no written menu but unlike a traditional Trattoria, Tonio studies his customers to find what to serve them. His food is amazingly good except for the part where customers are violently torn apart for a moment before coming back together, better than ever. That is because of his Stand, '''Pearl Jam''', which allows Tonio to alter dishes he makes to cure a person of some kind of ailment by cutting up his Stand (a bunch of large pepper-shaped things with faces) and adding them to the dish. In the anime [[weeaboo|he speaks very formally with lots of ''desu'' peppered into his speech]], likely because as an Italian Japanese is not his native tongue.

*'''Reimi Sugimoto''': The ghost of a teenage girl, one of Kira's first victims and the kickstarter of the main plot of Diamond is Unbreakable. She is an old babysitter of Rohan's (which he forgot as he was a toddler) who saved him from the Morioh Killer 15 years ago and through her we learned that Stand Users can see ghosts as if they were actually there. Reimi and her dog, Arnold, haunt Morioh's "Ghost Alley" which is essentially a limbo between the living world and the afterlife, where you must not look back, lest you get torn apart by ghostly hands. She informs Koichi and Rohan about her killer and requests that they stop him for the safety of Morioh and so she can finally pass on. Reimi's story of her and Arnold's deaths are likely a play on ''The Licked Hand'' urban legend where a girl finds her dog dead in the bathroom.

[[File:Alien d6.gif|250px|thumb|right|Mikitaka turning into a [[d6]]. And yes, Josuke points out he got the sides wrong.]]
*'''Mikitaka Hazekura''': An <s>Filthy Xenos</s> alien... [[skub|maybe]]. As far as bizarreness goes in Diamond is Unbreakable, Mikitaka is up there. Has a shape-shifting ability called '''Earth Wind and Fire''', but it might not actually be a Stand. Araki has never truly stated whether or not Mikitaka was actually an alien and it is likely we will never know.

*'''Shigekiyo Yangu''': Otherwise known as Shigechi. A weird looking underclassman, Shigechi is pretty childish and greedy, but can be quite clever when the situation calls for it. Tries to swindle Josuke and Okuyasu out of the money they agreed to split, but was defeated and made to share. Has a Stand called '''Harvest''', a whole swarm of small fat hornet-shaped things who can run around really fast and far to collect things for Shigechi. After his defeat Shigechi became friendlier with the JoBros and hung out with them for a bit, but was brutally murdered by Kira when he accidentally discovered the man's identity.

*'''Aya Tsuji''': The owner of a beauty parlor, Aya can seemingly make people fall in love with those whom she treated. Yukako was skeptical at first (especially when Aya [[PROMOTIONS|molested her]]), but after a one treatment Yukako had Koichi fall in love with her. The treatment came with a caveat though: she had to apply lipstick periodically. Aya fancied herself something of a fairy godmother, a career that was tragically cut short when Kira barged in, forced her to put another man's face onto his, then killed her.

*'''Shizuka Joestar''': A baby with the Stand '''Achtung Baby''', which turns her and things around her invisible depending on how stressed she is. Saved from drowning by Josuke and Joseph. Rohan briefly kidnaps her [[What|so he could win a game of rock-paper-scissors against a middle-schooler]] and somehow loses track of her moments later. Gets adopted by Joseph. This means that she's the adopted sister of Josuke and Holly, making her Jotaro's aunt and Jolyne's great-aunt, despite Shizuka being the same age as the latter. We unfortunately don't get to see her again in later parts, and given how part 6 ended we're probably not going to see her ever again. A pity, considering her stand's potential for growth was A-rank.

[[File:Yuya.png|thumb|250px|So handsome nobody will ever take my girls, my ''Highway Star'' is a deep purple, I got everything.]]
*'''Yuya Fungami''': A handsome and fit biker who got hospitalized after a road accident, Yuya is introduced some time after we first see his semi-remote Stand, '''Highway Star'''. It is a humanoid figure that can disassemble itself into a bunch of feet, allowing it to chase its targets down at speeds of up to 60km/h (that's around 37mph for any American readers). Once it catches its victim, it buries its feet in the target, draining them of their vitality and healing Yuya. He is doted on by a trio of delinquent girls, and he in turn is very protective of them.

*'''Hayato Kawajiri''': An elementary school aged kid, Hayato starts out as an introverted little creep, spying on his parents' bedroom with a closed circuit camera. Unlike his mother, Hayato is perceptive to Kira's actions in his Kosaku Kawajiri disguise, and gathers proof of Kira's false identity. Hayato threatens to reveal Kira's secret when Kira super creepily attempts to interrogate him in the bathroom, but this leads to his death. Killing Hayato puts Kira into a corner and the resulting stress leads to him gaining Bites The Dust. Then the boy develops a pair of [[Imperial Guard|''massive unbreakable diamond balls'']], forcing Kira to undo Bites The Dust by baiting him into revealing his identity. Hayato is then integral to Josuke's final showdown with Kira and quietly spends the end of Part 4 with his mother, saying he would wait for his father to return.

====Part 5====
[[File:Tasteofaliar.jpg|200px|thumb|left|*lick*]]
*'''Bruno Bucciarati''': The top guy in the gang, Bucciarati tends to be the level-headed one and is a rather compassionate person for being a capo of the most powerful mafia in Italy. In his first appearance, he pulled some messed up tricks and is the source of the infamous "This taste... it's of a Liar!" scene where he licks Giorno's sweat to freak him out. His stand is '''Sticky Fingers''', which makes zippers on absolutely anything, letting him do things like create impossible space inside objects (or people) to completely severing limbs. A fighter of incredible utility, especially when some thought is applied to the way his powers are used. His defining moment is being literally unable to die. No, seriously, King Crimson puts a fucking hole through his midsection, and the motherfucker just keeps walking. Being technically dead, he lost the ability to feel pain and used it to his advantage and even blew his own ears out to win the fight against Secco and his ''Oasis'', but then began losing his sight. He only dies after the whole soul-switcheroo of the Silver Chariot Requiem. Has his own battle cry like Jotaro and so on: [https://youtube/R7DDnpw2T68?t=804 ''"ARI ARI ARI ...ARRIVEDERCI!"'']

*'''Guido Mista''': A more punkish guy who has a '''MASSIVE''' phobia of the number 4. His stand is '''Sex Pistols''', six little bullet-shaped guys numbered 1-7 (skipping 4 because of said phobia) who can kick bullets (or effectively anything bullet-sized) in a way almost identical to the Emperor, except for the fact that his gun is perfectly normal. ''Sex Pistols'' are also able to to deflect projectiles that would harm Mista, in a flashback showing his first use of them, he was shot at by multiple thugs and was able to pick up a gun and shoot each of them without hassle or injury. He gets seriously messed up when he fights more dangerous stands, e.g. he was shot in the head at close range during by Prosciutto and almost killed himself shooting at ''White Album's Gently Weeps''. Mista is the only one of the original gang, excluding Fugo, to survive the arc, which is rather impressive, considering that [[derp|he took a hit from his own bullets no less than 30 times]].

*'''Leone Abbachio''': Looks like Sephiroth, only acts stoic and tries to keep his conscience clean (He was a cop and only defected when he saw how fucked the police system was after his partner died). His stand, '''Moody Blues''', allows him to play back time like a cassette tape, as his stand begins impersonating someone and repeats their actions. Considering how this could discover Diavolo's identity, this leads to Abbachio being assassinated by ''King Crimson'' personally, but not before leaving a mold of Diavolo's face.

*'''Narancia Ghirga''': Despite looking younger than everyone else, he's actually older than Giorno by two years (despite Giorno looking fucking 20 but he's really 15). He's pretty book-dumb and loud-mouthed, which ends up with him being the first victim of several stand attacks. His stand is '''Aerosmith''', a miniature airplane that traces things by their CO2 emissions and then blasts the fuck outta them with dakka. In both of his fights he ends up in a literal stand-off after forcing the enemy out hiding, first against Formaggio and his ''Little Feet'' and later against Squalo's ''Clash''. He gets killed in the Silver Chariot Requiem switcheroo, being assassinated in the mayhem, Giorno tries to revive him but by then his soul had already departed so he was left surrounded by flowers. His favorite manga was [[Fist of the North Star]] and he had his battle cry that he used whenever ''Aerosmith'' shoots someone to hell: ''[https://youtube/R7DDnpw2T68?t=855 "VOLA VOLA VOLA...VOLARE VIA!"]'' He's also a reference to the Aerosmith song "Dude looks like a lady", which has resulted in him being considered a trap. There is an absolute, metric fuckton of fan-porn of Narancia, despite the fact that he is only 17.

*'''Panacotta Fugo''': Whereas Narancia is book-dumb and impulsive, Fugo is book-smart and methodical in his actions albeit a bit heartless, like when he stabbed Narancia in the face with a fork for getting a maths question wrong. His personality seemingly contrasts with his stand, '''Purple Haze'''. See, ''Purple Haze'' is something insane, easily-agitated, and compulsive with little capsules in its fists filled with a virus so potent that it eats alive anything it touches. This power is so OP that Araki was forced to write him out of the plot by making him reject the notion of revolting against the Boss and leaving to the gang. He makes a small appearance in the possibly non-canon side-novel, "''Golden Heart, Golden Ring''", and is the main character of the "''Purple Haze Feedback''" novel where he is given a mission to prove his loyalty to the gang six months after the events of Part 5. Known for his "Swiss-cheese" outfit which is a suit jacket with large holes all over it.

====Part 6====
*'''Hermes Costello:''' One of Jolyne's fellow inmates, Hermes is about as much of a match as you can get, except for the part where she has a serious revenge-boner for one of Pucci's subordinates for killing her sister. Her stand '''Kiss''' allows her to slap stickers on things, duplicating things, but the moment it comes off, the duplicate and original slam together again and blow up a bit.

*'''Emporio Alnino:''' Poor little Emporio. The first 6 parts of Jojo had this weird rule where the more a child helped the Joestar gang, the more they'd end up suffering. After his mother got killed by Pucci for her stand disk, he grew up in Green Dolphin Street prison within the confines of his stand '''Burning Down The House''', a pocket dimension that preserves the "ghost" of the prison's old music room before it caught fire, including any items that were in it. Although the room makes a good hiding place, and the ghost items can be reused indefinitely, the stand itself was pretty useless in combat, meaning Emporio served more of a support role, providing intel, resources, and [[wat|being the gang's designated driver]]. After Pucci gains MIH and [[TPK]]s the Part 6 cast, Emporio is left screaming and crying in fear as the last line of defense against the priest, not even having time to mourn as he gets chased around the newly-reset Green Dolphin Prison. As hope would have it, however, Emporio is able to trick Pucci into inserting Weather Report's stand disk into him, giving him the chance to defeat Pucci once and for all. Afterwards, the universe is reset once more, placing Emporio in a new world without Pucci's influence, as well as meeting alternate versions of his friends who instantly bond with him due to the bonds they formed in the previous universe. Unfortunately, his original friends are gone for good, and their replacements won't remember everything they all went through. Emporio's last words in the series are simply "My name is Emporio", symbolizing that although his old life is gone for good, the start of a new, better one waits for him ahead.

*'''Foo Fighters:''' This here is the single most awesome character. [[Worm That Walks|She's a fucking swarm of plankton with a stand.]] Taking the form of a dead inmate. She was originally controlled by Pucci, but eventually Jolyne manages to defeat her and they become friends. Her stand is also non-conventional, as she's constantly using it to keep herself together.

*'''Weather Report:''' He's amnesiac and unstable. And he wears a giant buffalo hat. His stand is also named '''Weather Report''', and it allows him to control the weather and manipulate the atmosphere, such as blowing things around with wind, deflecting bullets by manipulating air resistance, or ''[[What|making it rain poison dart frogs]]''. This 39-something man displays something of a "dissonant serenity", where he is soft-spoken and calm to the point where he rarely raises his voice above a whisper, yet speaks rather aggressively to his enemies with frequent threats of violence or death, as well as having an informal form of speech. However, once he realizes his identity as Pucci's brother, he discovers a second part of his stand, "Heavy Weather", created from the rage he once held against humanity when a set of unfortunate circumstances led to the [[pol|KKK]] [[Grimdark|lynching him and causing his girlfriend to commit suicide.]] Heavy Weather is even more fucked up than his base power as it [[Wat|somehow uses rainbows to submit subliminal messages like ''turn into fucking snails''.]] Shit's creepy. What's worse is that upon regaining his memories, he instantly turns into [[That Guy]], gleefully strolling amidst the snail-ridden chaos while [[/d/|inflating a nurse with water]] [[wat|to turn him into a chair]] as well as electrocuting a pair of teenage girls in the manga to force them to give him a massage. [[Eldrad|What a dick.]] Despite all the shit he went through, his sense of justice and love for his friends still remains, and he spends his last moments getting stupidly fucking close to killing Pucci despite having both of his legs cut off, before leaving behind his stand disk that eventually defeats his brother. [[Awesome|What a badass.]]

*'''Narciso Anasui:''' Another messed up dude, but he's only restrained by the fact that he seriously has a thing for Jolyne despite her dad's refusal. Despite that, however, he manages to be more reliable than Weather and Ermes by not getting stuck in the infirmary for a third of the part. His Stand is '''Diver Down''', with the mundane yet neat power of phasing through matter. This allows him to climb into things, break them from the inside, and then break out. He wears what can be described as a [[PROMOTIONS|"fishnet" connected to thigh-high boots under a short skirt]] which is notable considering he was originally going to be female and is very clearly a woman in his first appearance (Araki stated it was a decision he made to "portray a character with an androgynous image that went beyond the standard definition of genders."); oddly enough, his female self was wearing a more modest version of his outfit. He and his stand ultimately come in clutch in the C-Moon and Made In Heaven fights, where he transfers several otherwise lethal strikes that Pucci inflicts on the other characters onto himself, on top of providing Jotaro an opportunity to hit Pucci by forcing the priest to target him first (Though this ends up [[FAIL|failing]].) At least he (Or Annakiss, rather) finally gets together with Jolyne in Emporio's reset timeline.

====Part 7====
*'''Gyro Zeppeli:''' That's right, he's another Zeppeli. He's still the guy to teach the Joestar about the power du jour (Spin), and he still dies near the end (though by then, he's done way more than his fair share of things and Johnny's come a long way). In the rebooted Jojolion universe, the Zeppelis were executioners and doctors for the kingdom of Naples, mastering the art of the Steel Balls for this particular job. Gyro, while competent, found himself questioning his conscience when he was instructed to execute a young boy for his possible involvement in a murder. Denying this accusation, Gyro decides to flee to America in order to participate in the Steel Ball Run race and win that boy a pardon, hoping to learn about his convictions along the way. He gains an ability at one point thanks to the Saint's Corpse, called "Scan", which allowed him to see using his steel balls, but he eventually loses it when he gave the Saint's eye to Lucy. However, when he masters the Golden Spin near the end, he obtains an actual Stand named '''Ball Breaker''', who can bypass D4C's barrier and nearly ages Valentine to death. Sadly, due to a flaw in his ball, he was unable to properly finish him off before he died due to D4C's powers fucking up his heart.
*'''Hot Pants:''' She starts off as one of several competitors in the race who manages to keep well ahead in the race, all while rather thinly disguised as a dude. As time goes on, however, Gyro and Johnny cross paths with her and somewhat become enemies (Gyro's kinda pissed for her thieving them of the Corpse Parts, but Johnny's slightly more understanding as well as aware of her identity). It's eventually revealed that she was a nun of the Vatican in penance for letting her brother die years ago, and participated in the race to recover the Saint's Corpse, thinking that recovering such a relic would grant God's mercy. Her stand is the utilitarian "Cream Starter", which is a spray can of meat foam that can be used to heal wounds, dissolve flesh, and even disguise faces.
*'''Lucy Steel:''' Despite the 17-year age gap, Lucy is somehow the wife of industrialist Stephen Steel, the man who organized the Steel Ball Run (under Valentine's orders). Though she doesn't really do much early on, she's the first person to realize that everything's not kosher in this mess and fears for her husband's safety around the President. From here, she gets caught up in the mess of the Corpse, helping Hot Pants with infiltrating the President's house by impersonating Valentine's wife and delivering a warning to Johnny and Gyro. And she does all this despite lacking a stand. Welll...sorta. Eventually, she's revealed to somehow be pregnant with the Corpse's head (Don't ask. [[FATAL|Seriously, don't ask]]) and eventually becomes the Corpse itself, serving to empower Valentine's Stand through Jesus' own Stand, '''Ticket to Ride''', which can manipulate misfortune and probability to protect its user, as long as they get cut by their sharpened tears. Unfortunately, as one would expect from having the severed head of a demigod inside your cunt, Ticket to Ride is slowly killing Lucy and taking her over, which leads to Hot Pants' death. After Valentine's demise, she then manages to save the day by killing Dio using one last moment of "D4C" fuckery.

====Part 8====
*'''Yasuho Hirose:''' Josuke's lover/girlfriend/fuckbuddy and the first person to discover his unconscious ass amongst the Wall Eyes. She doesn't have much in the way of personality since she's mostly there for sex appeal and to help Josuke find out who he truly is. Her Stand, Paisley Park, has some of the most vague powers in the series. It's main ability is to "guide" Yasuho through situations and to an end goal, either by giving her cues or manipulating electronics around her. Of course, considering how intentionally vague this power is, expected it to be abused like a disobedient child. Also, she named Josuke after her dog and she said he looked a lot like him. ''What a bitch.''

*'''Yoshikage Kira:''' The alternate universe counterpart of the villain of Part 4. Actually a pretty good guy. A doctor who worked on a boat, he pursued the bizarre Rokaka fruit in search of a cure for his mother's disease, putting him at odds with the Rock People who smuggled it. He still has Killer Queen, but now it shoots exploding bubbles and can summon thousands of tiny Sheer Heart Attacks. Critically injured by the Rock People, Kira ends up fusing with Josefumi and forming Gappy.
* '''Josefumi Kujo:''' The other half of Gappy. Josefumi Kujo aids Kira in his quest to cure his mother, out of gratitude for how the two of them saved his life when he almost drowned as a kid. Eventually he attempts to sacrifice himself to save Kira, resulting in their fusion and the birth of Gappy. He was the original user of "'''''Soft & Wet'''''", and his bubbles had no stars in them.

======The Higashikata Family======
These guys are a mixed bag. Some of the family members directly aid Gappy, whilst others scheme against- or try to manipulate him. They also all happen to have the word "king" in their stand names.

*'''Norisuke Higashikata IV''' (Original Name: '''Josuke Higashitaka'''): Father of the family, runs the fruit parlour. He's very strict about the parlour's bussiness model, and is against any sort of change that he deems too radical. Otherwise he is a loving father, which is very rare in Jojos as a whole. His stand is '''King Nothing''', and it can track things by their smell.

*'''Joubin Higashikata:''' One of the most awesome characters in part 8. The guy acts like he's on summer vacation every day of the year, has a [[Tyranids|very large stag-beetle collection]] (he has an entire room for it) and is all around the chillest of dudes you can think of. He even gambled away his gold painted lambo to Gappy, [[Awesome|just because he felt like it]]. He's very open minded and all for improving the fruit parlour to bring in more profit for the family. He takes a lot of his traits from Norisuke, as he cares very much for his son Tsurugi, and the rest of the family. He doesn't hate Gappy, but doesn't involve himself with him too much (unless it has something to do with the Rokakaka fruit). He let the Damo & co. use the parlours trade route for smuggling the Rokakaka trees into Morioh. The reason for this was that he was (and still is) looking for an alternative way of curing the rock decease, a way that wouldn't involve collaterals or equivalent exchange. He's also one cunning fucker, as he has made people do his bidding multiple times during the part, mostly through contracts (like the one with rock humans), [[Tzeentch|but also through deception and manipulation]]. His stand is '''Speed King'''. It lets him store heat in objects, so that it can be let loose when someone touches the spot, and fries them up. At one point he was even thought to be the main antagonist, so his brutal death at the hands of Wonder of U was quite a shock.

*'''Mitsuba Higashikata:''' Joubin's wife, and mother of Tsurugi.

*'''Tsurugi Higashikata:''' Jobin's son who is dressed up as a girl to supposedly ward off the rock disease. His stand is '''Paper Moon King''', which allows him to conjure up illusions using origami.

*'''Hato Higashikata:''' Norisuke's eldest daughter, an air-headed model who's fiercely protective of her family. Her stand is '''Walking Heart''', which allows her to project spikes from her heels. Doesn't sound that impressive, but the spikes can penetrate hard surfaces, allowing her to walk on walls, extend up to four meters (little over 13 feet), and can move faster than a human can react.

*'''Joshu Higashikata:''' This little fuckwit is Josuke's stepbrother and is by far the worst of the family. Every negative trait you can think of he probably has, including; spoiled, petty, possessive, selfish, perverted, idiotic, amongst any other things. Just a [[Honsou|horrible person in general,]] constantly antagonizing and arguing with Josuke because he wants Yasuho for himself. Also, his Stand '''[[/d/|Nut]] King Call''' is basically Sticky Fingers but with nuts and bolts; attaching a bolt something then removing it causes whatever it was attached to to fall apart when it's removed. Naturally, he deserves to have one of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X-Ek_1W9wkthe most rocking themes] in Eyes of Heaven, [[What|right]]? As of chapter 101 he has gotten a tremendous amount of development, compared to his introduction, but he's still a creep.

*'''Daiya Higashikata:''' Youngest daughter and child of Norisuke at 16 years old. Playful and child-like, but severly sight-impaired, being barely able to see light. Her stand is '''California King Bed''', which allows her to steal memories from any person "fussing over" her, the memories exiting from a persons orifice as a chess piece with an orb containing the memory within. Daiya can view the memories by touching the pieces herself. If a piece is destroyed, the memory is destroyed as well, and any damage done to the piece is reflected back to the person the memory came from. The memories can only be returned to the person if Daiya steps on their shadow.

*'''Kaato Higashikata:''' Norisuke's ex-wife and mother to his children. Spent 15 years in a prison accused of murdering a child. The kid bullied Joubin and forced him to take lewd pictures of her, so she [[Grimdark|punished the little shit by burying him alive as a human sacrifice to cure her son]]. She really loves her children, especially her firstborn son Joubin. She's the one who [[Awesome|deals the finishing blow to Toru by using Rokakaka sap to transfer her family curse to him, while also curing Tsurugi in the process]]. Her stand is '''Space Trucking''', a golden humanoid bound to a deck of playing cards that can store objects and people within itself. When a card containing something is turned, whatever is stored within is released. It can also immobilize people and crush stuff.

====Part 9====
*'''Dragona Joestar:''' Jodio's older brother and partner. He also dresses in drag and has breasts, but given that Jodio refers to him consistently as male and some cops sexually harassing "her" discover something "down there", Jodio's word seems trustworthy for now. He's also the one person that keeps Jodio from going nuts from sheer [[RAGE]], and gods help you if you harm him in front of his brother, as a bunch of pigs in blue [[Rape|learned the hard way]]. His Stand is '''Smooth Operators''', a colony of tank-like creatures that can rearrange the features of any object Dragona touches, like altering a license plate, removing locks from vaults or rearranging faces in horrific ways when pissed off.

:[[FAIL|Also, if you haven't seen the pun in his name yet, you suck at seeing the obvious.]]

*'''Usagi Alohaoe:''' The person who looks like [[meme|Pink Guy]] and who buys drugs from Jodio at the start of the first chapter-though is seemingly a good student according to Meryl Mei Qi. He's very intelligent, seemingly, but is laid back and his care-free attitude gets him in trouble. His stand is Matte Kudasai (no, it's not an untranslated name, it's a reference to a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-xNcpW_dA|King Crimson song]. Anyway, the ability grants the wish of someone else other than the user, turning itself into an object such as a security camera or lock pick.

*'''Paco Laburantes:''' Essentially the [[that guy]] of the gang. No one really likes him, though Jodio respects his skills as a thief. He's a dim-witted, aloof, and often comes off as rude-not to mention the fact he's a kleptomaniac. His Stand reflects this-The Hussle allows his muscles to grab objects and attach them to his skin. Basically, think of him as the [[Barbarian]] of the party.

===The Dicks & Villains (A.K.A. The FoJos)===
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure covers generations of exploits of the Joestar Lineage and their allies as they battle foes with wildly varying beliefs, ambitions, skills, personalities and fashion sense. Though the series changes almost completely with each Part, there is one factor that stays constant throughout all the adventures: evil is arrogant and flamboyant. Since most fights in JoJo are battles of wit rather than straight brawls (even these occur, there's an amount of strategy and thought involved), the majority of villains reflect and enforce this idea. There is no shortage of [[Slaanesh|flamboyant sadists]], [[Khorne|violent killers]], [[Tzeentch|conniving schemers]], [[Nurgle|fatalistic worshippers]], [[Eversor|maniacal assassins]], [[Mercenaries|arrogant mercenaries]], [[Psyker|psychics]], [[Eldar|arrogant psychics]], [[Culexus|arrogant psychic assassins]], [[Eldrad|fabulous dicks]], [[Malal|malevolent assholes]], [[That Guy|jerkwads]] (...) and anything in-between which makes for a truly ''bizarre'' rogue's gallery.

====Dio Brando (Part 1 and 3)====
[[File: DIO.jpeg|thumb|right|Part 3 Dio and his Stand "The World", also known by its Japanese name of ZA WARUDO.]]
Technically the [[BBEG]] of the overall series, although he's only actually on-stage in the first and third sagas. Arrogant, vain and frankly something of a coward, Dio was born the son of abusive, stupid, drunkard Dario Brando, but had a natural intelligence, ambition and drive that his father lacked. Poisoning his father, he was sent to live with George and Jonathan Joestar, as part of a debt the elder Joestar owed to Dario. Despising Jonathan for his attempts to befriend his new stepbrother, Dio bullied Jonathan throughout their childhood, and even after they seemingly made amends, was secretly plotting to steal Jonathan's birthright. He attempted to poison George, only for his scheme to be revealed, whereupon he used the Stone Mask the Joestars had unwittingly guarded to become a vampire and attempted to conquer England by creating an army of zombies. As mentioned above, this eventually left him a severed head trapped on the bottom of the ocean, until he managed to assimilate Jonathan's body and escape for the third saga. He sits in his lair for most of it because he has difficulty controlling Jonathan's body and doesn't fight the heroes himself until all his minions are dead. When he does however he proceeds to completely wreck their shit until Jotaro narrowly manages to defeat him. Afterwards his body is thrown into the desert and incinerated by the Sun to make sure he doesn't come back. Although he was defeated, agents and plots of his were the primary source of trouble for the next three sagas. Ironically, for all his arrogance and power, Dio ultimately owed everything he had to the Joestars. His life of luxury in his teens was paid for by Joestar money. He became a vampire with a Stone Mask owned by the Joestar family. He needed Jonathan Joestar's body after his own was destroyed by Ripple energy. He needed Joseph Joestar's blood so he could better merge with Jonathan's body. He even makes extensive use of Hermit Purple #2 which is the same as Joseph, but presumably belongs to Jonathan, during the third saga.

He is well-loved by the fans for his over-the-top flamboyance (even by the series' standards), grandiloquent speaking style, and sheer dickishness such that [[Eldrad]] himself would be impressed. He is the source of [[Meme|ZA WARUDO]], which is his Stand ("'''''The World'''''") freezing time around him. While he typically follows that up with an improbably numerous volley of knives, he is infamous for what comes after: Slamming a road roller from out of nowhere down on his opponent, punching it until the vehicle explodes, screaming, ROAD ROLLER DA! [[Eversor|then screeching in triumph.]] '''WRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!'''

Dio's power is super broken with the only restriction being he can only use it for five seconds at a time, but has no restriction on how often he can use it. After drinking Joseph's blood and getting control over Jonathan's body, Dio's time limit increases to nine seconds. Narration by him states he could only freeze time briefly at first but had been steadily increasing the more he used it. He is only beaten because Jotaro figured out how to stop time himself and got Dio in between time freezes when his guard was down.

Considering the design of DIO's Stand, ''The World'', it may in fact be a "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkysjcs5vFU Holy Diver."]

He also has a slew of minions and henchmen in both Parts 1 and 3. From Zombie Black Knights and literal Mancats in Part 1 to a Womanizing, Ghost-gun wielding Cowboy and what is essentially baby Freddy Krueger in Part 3:

====Part 1: Phantom Blood Villains====
[[File:PBDio.jpg|thumb|right|Jojo is going to be so surprised when he sees me, he'll be left ''Breathless'' as he looks into my ''Evil Eyes''. Then he'll realize, he's been left all alone... like a ''Rainbow in the Dark...'']]
*'''Dio Brando:''' Villains aren't born, they're made and spending his childhood with an abusive father in the slums of England made a villain of Dio Brando. Dio is meant to contrast with Jonathan starting with the fact they both lost their mothers, Dio being precociously intelligent and born poor while Jojo acts his age and was born rich. His story starts with his dying father, Dario Brando, requesting he move into the Joestar Mansion. From the moment Dio met Jonathan, he decided he would cause Jojo as much misery as possible ensure to he would be the sole heir to the Joestar fortune. Kicking Danny, turning all the other kids against him, and stealing Erina's first kiss([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaGkk60kcjQ "But it was with I, DIO!"])lead to Jonathan fighting back. In retaliation, he burns Danny alive as a final act of spite before the seven year time-skip to their adulthood. As adults, he is seemingly friends with Jojo until Jojo uncovers his plot to poison his adoptive father. Events lead Dio to use the Stone Mask, and as vampire he fights Jonathan throughout their burning mansion,[https://youtube/gsxXvKnuZ7s "Goodbye, JO-JO~!"]. Dio escapes and goes into hiding to heal himself while committing sadistic and unnecessarily cruel acts like causing a mother to eat her child and creating human-animal hybrids. The eventual final battle between Jojo and Dio leaves Dio a severed head, so he decides the only body worth having is that of his greatest enemy. When Dio's ambush on Jojo's honeymoon has them both trapped on a doomed boat, only then Dio realizes that Jonathan was his only friend.
:Dio is considered to be the biggest appeal of Phantom Blood with his trickery, violent tendencies, and personality which are only reinforced by the performance in the anime. "Dio" means god in Italian but it is also the name of the late heavy metal singer, Ronnie James Dio and his band,”DIO", combined with the last name of the late actor, Marlon Brando. It may be possible that Dio is based on the eponymous main character from a previous manga by Hirohiko Araki, "''Cool Shock B.T.''"

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"><h5>
<span style='color:darkred;font-size:115%'>Dio's Minions</span></h5>
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
*'''Wang Chan:''' An old Asian man that ran a curio shop on Ogre Street and sold Dio the poison he used on George Joestar and his father. He's Dio first real minion and is essentially the reason why Dio was able to recover from the mansion fire, giving Dio his blood and hiding him away. Wang Chan fought using claw blades on both hands which used when he attacked Jojo during his training, but was warded off. He would save Dio again after the final showdown with Jonathan when he recovered Dio's head and brought him to Jonathan's honeymoon boat, hoping to place Dio on Jonathan's body. Wang Chan got overzealous and underestimated a weakened Jonathan, getting his head blown off and his body stuck to the boat's workings causing it to explode. His strong loyalty to Dio stems from their first meeting where he notices Dio's birthmark and believes he is destined for greatness.

*'''Jack the Ripper:''' As in ''THE'' Jack the Ripper, depicted here as a vaguely brown man with a beard as either a brunette or redhead and is huge just like almost every other character in Phantom Blood. Dio encounters him while Jack is, presumably, killing his last real-life victim and subsequently converted into a powerful zombie. He attacks Jonathan and Co.'s stagecoach ride, cutting off the horses' heads, replacing the coach driver's head with one of them, and hiding in one of the still standing horses. Jack hid scalpels inside of his body that he was able to shoot out and jumped around holding a modified guillotine. He doesn't prove much a threat and gets absolutely obliterated by Jonathan, so the reason the Jack the Ripper Murders stopped was because he was turned to dust by two extremely buff gentlemen.

*'''Bruford:''' One of two zombie knights resurrected by Dio to take out Jonathan and his merry crew who fights using his hair and his sword, "Luck". Alongside Tarkus, he was a retainer of Queen Mary of Scotland when he was alive and allowed himself to be executed to save her. Learning she was killed regardless, Bruford cursed humanity and uses his hair to kill one of the executioners before dying. Bruford, still being an honorable fighter, fights Jonathan one-on-one and takes the fight underwater where it turns out he's a crazy good swimmer even while wearing armor. He's defeated when Jonathan hits him with a "Sunlight Yellow Overdrive" which purifies his soul, causing flowers to bloom under his feet. Fading, [[This guy|Bruford tells Jonathan how grateful he is to have fought him]] and rechristens Luck to "Luck & Pluck", giving the sword to Jonathan which would prove helpful in the fight against Dio. Then Tarkus, being "[[that guy]]", crushes his remains and calls him a disgrace.

*'''Tarkus:''' The other undead knight resurrected by Dio as a zombie, so most definitely ''not the [[Tarkus]] you were already thinking of''. He's huge, as in [[Terminator]] huge, and crazy strong such that he lifted a lifted a boulder with one finger; additionally when he and Bruford were executed the executioners needed multiple axes as they would break on his neck, tensed by [[rage]]. Unlike Bruford who turned out to be a pretty cool guy in the end, Tarkus proves to be 100% medieval [[That Guy]] by crushing Bruford's remains. He doesn't care for honor in the slightest, setting a trap for Jonathan in the '''Room of Dragon Decapitation''' that forces him into a '''Chain Neck Deathmatch''' where they're both shackled to ceiling by chains and the only way out is to kill the opponent for their key. Being unreasonably tall and strong, Tarkus is easily able to knock Jonathan around then use the chains to bisect Zeppeli and break Jonathan's neck in one pull using his ''Hell Heaven Snake Kill'' move. Tarkus being a sadistic jerkass, finds this funny up until Jonathan breaks his neck collar (which is something Tarkus couldn't even do with his bullshit level of strength). He pretty much starts bawling when Jonathan slices his arm up the middle then punches his stupid head off, leaving nothing behind.

*'''Doobie:''' A zombie Dio had with him in his castle, he's big and wears a sack on his head; fortunately, he doesn't have a brother. He gets an anvil dropped on his head by Jonathan and later reveals that under the sack on his head is a bunch of man-eating snakes that bit Jonathan a few times. Jonathan then just rejects the venom and makes the snakes transfer hamon to Doobie which melted him, and that was Doobie. He had a nice hat.

*'''Page, Jones, Plant and Dornam:''' Four grotesque zombies that could extend blood-sucking proboscises from their heads and all got taken out by Straits dropping a chandelier. They were all named after ''Led Zeppelin'' members, and that's all there is to say about them.

</div>
</div>
====Part 2: Battle Tendency Villains====
=====The Pillar Men (Wamuu, ACDC/Esidisi, Kars, Santana)=====
[[File:Awaken in Color.png|thumb|right|250px|ACDC, Wamuu, and Kars...After 2000 Years they are finally free to pose once again.]]
A pre-human tribe of supermen from the ancient past, these beings possess superhuman control over their bodies, allowing them to manipulate their own flesh and the flesh of other people as they see fit. This makes them virtually indestructible, capable of reassembling themselves from being blown to bloody scraps. They feed on the flesh of all other races, and their body manipulating traits allow them to literally absorb flesh with a touch. By the time of the series, only four members of this tribe survive, having slaughtered the rest of their kind, ostensibly in self-defense as they didn't like their leader's scheme since the increased metabolism induced by the Stone Masks would lead to the hunting of all other life to extinction if they became widespread. Kars and Esidisi took the two infants that survived, Wamuu and Santana, with them as they went in search of a way to gain complete immunity to the sun. Their search went on for tens of thousands of years, until they learned of the Red Stone of Aja, a perfectly cut gemstone that can channel light and refract it to point that it fires a concentrated laser beam. Believing the "Super Aja" to be the key unlocking their evolution, the Pillar Man fought against Hamon users in order to obtain it but somehow failed and were sealed away in a stonewall. ACDC, Wamuu, and Kars each have an elemental "mode" which they theme their personal body modification around, for instance, Wamuu can form a lethal wind shear by spinning his arms like turbines. The tribe's only weakness is sunlight, and thus by extension Ripple energy; Kars' claim to fame was attempting to fix this with the Stone Masks, which didn't work as the Masks can't pierce their skin deeply enough, but ''did'' create dickass vampires like Dio and massively boosted their shape-shifting powers. Free from their stone prison, they once again seek the Red Stone in order to power a modified Stone Mask that will finally allow them to become "Ultimate Lifeforms". Appearance-wise they are all built like bodybuilders being at least 6ft. tall and dress in ancient Mesoamerican style. A Group of [[Adeptus Custodes|Custodians]] seem to have taken after their appearance

*'''Santana:''' The first Pillar Man to awaken, the first to be fought, and the first to put up with [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt4q6Dwa-LE Joseph's weirdness]. He was awakened by German scientists when they doused his stone form with blood under Stroheim's orders. At first Stroheim writes him off as a simple caveman-type, but the events that follow show he is far more than a primitive human.[[File:Santana_Absorb.png|left|240px|thumb|Stare too long and you might just get sucked right in.]] Santana shows off each of the Pillar Men's natural abilities by eating a vampire through body contact then breaking his own bones at high-speed in order to fit into a vent. Everyone learns that Santana is incredibly intelligent when he disassembles a machine-gun in seconds without breaking it. Joseph arrives in time to save Stroheim and Speedwagon, and with Stroheim's help he's able to expose Santana to sunlight and turn him back into stone. While Santana is essentially a sign of the Pillar Man threat, he's nothing special compared to the other three. Realizing who he is at the mention of him, since Santana isn't his real name, Kars basically says he was a weakling that only lived 1/10 of their [Kars, Esidisi and Wamuu's] lives which implies they abandoned him. While it's amazing that Santana learned to speak a language within minutes of hearing it, his speech is slow and simple. When the other Pillar Men awaken they are capable of full sentences within a smaller time frame meaning Santana is also an idiot by comparison. He is shown to still be alive in his stone form, but it is unlikely he will ever make another appearance.


[[File:Wham close.png|200px|thumb|The Warrior's Code says nothing against looking this good.]]

*'''Wamuu (Wham):''' The Pillar Man who can use "Wind Mode" and the second to awaken but the first to [[get shit done]], Wammu is a servant of Kars and Esidisi though he is in no way weaker than either of them, in fact in terms of abilities he's arguably the most dangerous. Of the three, he upholds a Warrior's Code of Honor and while he does obey the others' commands completely, he lives to fight by this code. Upon awakening, he immediately slaughters most of the nazis present using his wind horn and somehow deflates the rest before doing his [[meme|iconic]] "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDEbsZpweDo Wammu!] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uOBVO-GyZk Awaken my Masters!]" and posing dramatically alongside a freed Esidisi and Kars with [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUhVCoTsBaM Pillarstep] blasting in the background. Wham subsequently eats Caesar's best Nazi friend, Mark, just by walking past him and puts Caesar and his bubbles in the trash without even really trying. He decides to get a little serious against Joseph and uses his "''Holy Sandstorm''", blasting out [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgIdV09E75o Whamstep] all over the place and bodying Joseph. Joseph plays to his code of honor in order to survive which leads to Wham agreeing to fight him again in 30 days, leaving a "Wedding Ring" inside him so he can't back out. Much later on, Caesar rushes to face Wham at the mansion in Switzerland but dies in the resulting fight. [http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/514/806/4b4.jpg Respecting Caesar] for giving him the best fight he had had in millennia, he allows him to take the antidote ring for Joseph and leaves vowing that he would always remember their battle. Meeting Joseph in the Skeleton Heel Stone Arena for their final fight, a chariot race using vampire horses with countless vampire spectators. After a number of tricks, gouging his own eyes out, and losing both of his arms, Wamuu activates his "''Final Mode: Atmospheric Rift/Gathering Gale''" which is a concentrated blade of wind from his horn. The battle leaves Wham as only a head, though Joseph expresses respect for him due to the respect he has shown Caesar previously. Using the very last of his strength to kill a group of vampires who were poised to attack Joseph, he fades into ash and is carried away with the wind. In the end, Wammu upheld his Warrior's Code and was glad to have the honor of fighting both Caesar and Joseph as [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gMlFFXFJQc true] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtlDvR56rOs warriors]. His namesake is the English duo, ''Wham!'', who would be formed about 50 years after the events of Part 2 in real-life.

*'''Esidisi (ACDC):''' Pillar Man with the power of "Flame Mode", he's Kars' closest companion, being the one to side with him when their entire race turned on them. His Flame Mode allows him to raise his body temperature to 500 degrees, allowing him to use his own blood as weapon by extending his veins out of his body. Being able to heat himself up to such a degree, fire and explosives have no effect on him such is that he was able to swallow [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR30knJs4Xk TNT] with no problems.[[File:Esidisi.png|200px|thumb|Better lock up your daughters, because you're about to be Thunderstruck.|left]] Contrary to his odd appearance, he's not to be taken lightly as is a cunning strategist who was able to outsmart Joseph for a time. He traveled to Air Supplena Island on his own when he deduced it would be the location of the Red Stone. Esidisi kills Loggins just before Joseph shows up for his training duel and is forced to confront him.[[File:HEEEEYYYY.png|150px|right|thumb|"Well it looks like ''I'm'' on the Razor's Edge this time."]] Fighting on a bed of spikes, Esidisi shows his cunning by seeing through some of Joseph's tricks and even using Joseph's "What you're going to say next is..." trick against him and stating that he had personally met Sun Tzu himself at some point. In another iconic moment, he starts crying his eyes out when Joseph destroys one of his arms as a way of calming himself down "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYrl-RJ_oA4 Oh-ho, MY GOD~! HEEEYYYY!!!]" He's defeated and left as a brain with his blood vessels attached as he makes his way to Suzie Q, taking over her body and sending the Red Stone of Aja to Switzerland. When Caesar and Joseph remove him from Suzie Q, instead of outright destroying Esidisi, Joseph shows respect for him as even though he was utterly destroyed, he still did all he could to make sure Kars' plan came to fruition. If it's not clear, his namesake is the rock band ''AC/DC''; his theme [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv_qe5oQoPo "The Disturbing ACDC/Esidisi"] alludes to this and the same may be true for his [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hnk-J59jyXc Eyes of Heaven Theme]. The banter he has with Joseph is depicted in a popular banner, and his crying face has been parodied a number of times.

*'''Kars:''' The leader of the Pillar Men and creator of the Stone Masks out of ambition, essentially making him the indirect cause of all the events of Part 1. Thousands of years prior to the series, Kars invented the Stone Mask to overcome his race's weakness to the sun, but by the time of Part 2 his ultimate goal is really complete dominion over the animal kingdom. Being an incomprehensibly muscled, fabulous, and intelligent ancient being he is understandably arrogant and could care less for humanity, seeing us as obstacles and primitive scum compared to his race of buff, flawless demigods. Though he hates humanity, Kars is shown to care for nature to such a degree that he diverted a car with a drunken driver to save a puppy and knocked himself into chasm walls to avoid landing on flowers at the bottom.[[File:Disguised Kars.png|thumb|left|200px|Hasn't worn anything more than a thong and a bejeweled head wrap for thousands of years, yet he's looking so good he might cause a Kars Accident.]] His mode is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6t2HDJ0NVk "Light Mode"] which takes the form of metal blades called "Light Slip Blades" that jut out from his arms and legs; the light comes from small "teeth" on the blades that move across them similar to a chainsaw. Kars is able to use his blades to cut farther and more times than seemingly possible, like when he cut an entire room of Nazis into pieces from the outside wall. His first time taking action was when he correctly assumed that Esidisi had been defeated: he set out wearing a ''beautiful'' winter ensemble to claim the Super Aja himself, and would've had it if it weren't for the Pinnacle of German Science delaying him. After Wamuu's defeat by Joseph, he reveals the proof of his superiority to humanity - the fact that he has '''''absolutely flawless''''' hair that would make even the most [[Fulgrim|depraved, vain fool]] mourn their lack of such flowing, shimmering violet locks. In spite of all of his planning, during his final battle against the Ripple users he is defeated by Joseph who, of course, managed to outsmart him. When it seems as though Kars had completely lost, he reveals himself wearing the custom Stone Mask with the Red Stone equipped. When the Stone Mask breaks off after a dramatic event, it is revealed that he has the ability to create sentient, living creatures from his own body. Everyone thinks he's beat when the sun rises, but as [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFPgKeYVJgk Karstep] starts blasting throughout the world, his enemies realize that Kars is now immune to the sunlight, that he is finally the Ultimate Lifeform. Kars' first decision as the Ultimate Being was to eliminate the one who had caused him so much turmoil since his awakening: Joseph Joestar. Growing wings and taking flight to catch Joseph who had taken the Red Stone and a plane, he creates piranhas and an octopus to crash the plane which Joseph survives thanks to Stroheim. When he is poised to finish Joseph, Kars accidentally causes the volcano they were fighting in to erupt, launching them into the sky. After one final discourse with Joseph, the Ultimate Lifeform ends up launched further into Earth's atmosphere. In Earth's orbit, Kars attempts to push his way back but begins to freeze and is unable to form anything capable of keeping him warm so he is left floating through space. With nothing left but his own thoughts in the cold void of space, Kars yearned for death and [[meme|eventually stopped thinking]].



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<h5><span style='color:darkviolet;font-size:115%'>Lesser Villains</span></h5>
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*'''Straights/Straits/Straizo:'''[[File:Stupraights.png|"Now that I have my youth again, it is time to put Joseph and Erina in ''Dire Straits...but with just Straits''"|thumb|200px|right]] Back from Part 1, Straits is 50 years older than his previous appearance, but is still looking relatively young for his age thanks to hamon. Unfortunately, being able to do Sun-Breath Magic Martial Arts that keep you spry isn't enough for him and he reveals that he secretly admired Dio's powers. On an expedition with Speedwagon to see the Man in the Pillar, Straits suddenly kills everyone present. He activates one of the Stone Masks using Speedwagon's blood to become a Ripple-using vampire and decides he needs to go kill Joseph and Erina to top off his heel-turn. Straights tries to act coy when he meets Joseph, but he didn't expect Jojo to be [https://youtube/z0gljFf98ds?t=58 packing heat]. During their fight, Straights names the blood laser previously used by Dio: "'''Space Ripper Stingy Eyes'''", but his mastery of it doesn't stop him from being made a fool of by Joseph. Joseph reveals that he attached a bunch of grenades to Straights' back and blasts him into pieces, then runs away like a true hero would. After regenerating, Straits takes a journalist hostage to lure Joseph into fighting him directly. Unfortunately for "''Stup-raights''", Jojo figured out how to counter his Stingy Eyes which reflects the beam into his head. Admitting defeat, Straits talks about the Man in the Pillar and the threat he knew it would present, he then blows himself using the Ripple while content that he died with a young body. It is later revealed that he was the one that raised Lisa Lisa after the events at the end of Phantom Blood, so it's a real shame he decided to be [[That guy|a team-killer]] and attempt to murder his friends for essentially nothing.

*'''Donovan:''' An elite Nazi soldier tasked with tracking down Joseph and interrogating him for information on his encounter with Straights. Donovan had the ability to move so lightly that he could track people at close range without being noticed and could hide himself in an unfurled cloak in mid-air, seemingly invisible. He's defeated when he gets cocky and gets buffeted by a cactus that Joseph had hit with Hamon which lets Joseph turn the tables and interrogate him. After getting the information, Joseph left him tied upside-down to a cactus before driving off, leaving his fate unknown.

*'''Wired Beck:''' A gratingly flamboyant vampire encountered by Joseph and Lisa Lisa before the start of the final battle with the Pillar Men, he ends all of his sentences with "OK" or "K'". They meet him when Joseph tries to open a door which turns out to be Wired Beck in disguise and talks about his backstory, that before Kars made him a vampire he was a criminal convicted for strangling his girlfriend. He reveals his ability to create spikes all over his body from his skin and hair and talks about how he's going to take Lisa Lisa's blood. Lisa Lisa then just twirls her scarf around him, leaving him seemingly unharmed before Joseph informs him that "[[ Fist of the North Star|You're already dead]], OK," just before he disintegrates.
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<h4><span style='color:crimson;font-size:120%'>Part 3: Stardust Crusaders Villains</span></h4>
The antagonists of Part 3 are divided into three rough groups which are mostly separated by their naming conventions, and all but one are loyal to DIO be it out of greed, fanaticism, or malice, they're all out for the Stardust Crusaders.
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<h5><span style='color:goldenrod;font-size:115%'>The Tarot Assassins</span></h5>
The first is the Tarot Assassins, a variety of hitmen hired by DIO to kill the Crusaders with their Stands all being named after tarot cards. Some are just the the name of their associated card though most of them include the color of their Stand as part of the name. Thematically, their names are also representative of their abilities and how they use them or, in some more literal cases, their appearance. All of the assassins themselves are named after musical groups, singers, songs and albums despite some of these groups existing around this time.
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*'''Gray Fly:''' An old codger of an assassin whose MO is getting on the plane/train/boat as his target, then [[Bane|crashing it with no survivors]] except himself. His Stand is '''Tower of Gray''', a flying beetle so fast it can dodge Star Platinum's punches. [[Grimdark|It has a long, Xenomorph-style tongue with which it rips out the tongues of its targets]]. Kakyoin managed to trick it into a predictable pattern that allowed him to shred it using Hierophant Green's tentacles. Tower of Gray's destruction split his head open and seemingly killed him, but he was able to live a little longer and make his way to the cockpit to taunt the Crusaders.

*'''Impostor Captain Tennille:''' A man who killed and impersonated the captain of a boat tasked with transporting the Crusaders to India, who wields the Stand '''Dark Blue Moon'''. DBM is a sea monster, capable of creating barnacle-like growths on his victims that drain their energy, creating whirlpools, and releasing his scales that are like miniature razors. No one suspected him of being a Stand User until he fell for Jotaro's trick and made himself look like an idiot. He forced Jotaro to fight him alone underwater, but was unexpectedly stabbed in the face by Star Platinum's '''Star Finger'''. Like Gray Fly before him, he had a back-up plan and rigged the boat with explosives. His real name was never revealed, but his censored name is "Captain Dragon", which is the real name of the captain in "''Captain & Tenille''".

*'''Forever:''' A sapient orangutan that likes [[Nurgle|smoking pipes]], [[Slaanesh|human pornography]], [[Tzeentch|posing as a regular ape]] and [[Khorne|brutal murder]]. His Stand is '''Strength''', which can possess objects and bring out their "true potential": in the manga this turns a tiny yacht into a massive freighter that Forever has total control over, which lets him phase through its walls. The Crusaders end up on his freighter sometime after the fight against Imposter Tenille since they were forced to abandon ship with the sailors. Forever first appears when the Crusaders are searching the ship for its crew and they find him in a cage where he simply acts smarter than the average animal, doing things like lighting and smoking a cigarette. After killing the last of the sailors, he [[Dranon's delight|prepared to molest Anne who was traveling with the Crusaders]], while he used Strength to trap them in the floor of the ship's deck. Luckily, Jotaro was wary of him, appearing to save Anne and beat him by using Star Finger to push a button into his forehead. In the OVA, Jotaro doesn't escape from being trapped during the fight so Polnareff intervenes and cuts Forever in half. Based on the intelligent orangutan from the horror movie [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091415/ Link.] Named after the Wu-Tang Clan album, ''Wu-Tang Forever''.

*'''Devo the Cursed:''' A Native American assassin with scars covering his entire body who's able to "curse" people to die horrific deaths. In truth, he's a masochist and uses his Stand, '''Ebony Devil''' to possess a killer doll and take a few pages from Chucky's book by murdering someone who hurt him in various brutal and creative ways. When he crawls out of his hiding spot in Polnareff's mini-fridge, he gets one of his eyes poked out only to claim his curse has taken hold and jumps the balcony, leaving his doll to do the job. This shit is fucking brutal, we're talking razors to the back of the foot, shampoo in the eyes, razor-toothed lamprey-mouth, slicing a bellhop's face clean off, and dousing a bed in alcohol in order to ignite it/electrocute Polnareff using a short-circuiting hairdryer. Polnareff manages to outmaneuver him and rip his doll (and therefore his Stand, and therefore ''him'') to pieces, leaving a janitor at the hotel to find Devo's bloody mess in a bathroom. Also called Soul Sacrifice in the official sub to avoid lawsuits, notable because Araki picked the name himself.

*'''Rubber Soul:''' Another assassin sent by DIO who was promised a fuckton of money to kill the Stardust Crusaders. His Stand, '''Yellow Temperance''', is an amorphous blob of flesh that allows him to disguise himself as other people and eat organic matter by covering and dissolving it. The more Yellow Temperance absorbs, the larger it gets and the only way to get rid of it is to attack Rubber Soul himself and since Yellow Temperance is an incredibly fast blob that can act as a shield, it's not an easy task. Rubber Soul was able to "perfectly" disguise himself as Kakyoin sometime after the Devo fight and Hermit Purple detected his presence when used on a television. While his disguise is physically perfect, he acted overly hostile, putting a pickpocket into a "''Coconut Backbreaker''" and infamously making the cherry licking sound, [https://youtube/UQ-g0BdpbDM "Relo relo relo relo..."] When Jotaro gets sick of his shit, still thinking he's Kakyoin, he punches him and knocks his jaw off which breaks the disguise. Asking Jotaro,"[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWKB1Zxg84s DO YOU UNDERSTAND?]" but after experiencing the '''Joestar Family Secret Technique''' and [https://youtube/E_ZDj8N-rAA having his weakness revealed to him] he tries to play it off. Jotaro seems to consider letting him go, but when Rubber messes that up for himself he gets a one passenger ticket on the ORA ORA ORA train. Even though he's terrible actor, doing nothing resembling Kakyoin's behavior he oddly shared the same habit of licking cherries as Kakyoin. His namesake is the Beatles album of the same name but he is called "''Robber Soul''" in the American version of the PS1 game.

[[File:Nicest Man.png|300px|thumb|right|"Bingo, if you tell me to hit a lady one more time...]]
*'''Hol Horse:''' An assassin sent by DIO to take them Joestar Boys out, he's a modern cowboy whose stand is a gun named '''The Emperor''' and is the "Nicest Man in the World". ''The Emperor's'' only real ability is that the bullets are part of his stand, so Hol Horse can manipulate the trajectory of its bullets mid-flight and change their speed. He's a womanizing coward, making lady folk fall in love with him solely so he can take advantage of them and save his bacon. Due to his stand's relative weakness; Hol Horse never fights alone, preferring to fight with a partner because "''It's always better being No. 2''". He teams up with J. Geil at first claiming they're the "strongest combination" but when that all goes South, he gets blamed for J. Geil's death and is almost done if wasn't for those Stardust Boys saving the day. After meeting with DIO, he shows up again with Boingo, and they have a hootenanny using Thoth's predictions to get the drop on them Joestar Boys like hamburger on a grill. [[Just as planned|After sticking his fingers up that escargot-loving Polnareff's nose causes them Crusader types to get hit by a truck]], he makes a mistake and shoots himself in his dang ol' face, forcing him to ['''RETIRE!''']. Despite his luck, he manages to survive Stardust Crusaders, but in the OVA he ends up incapacitated after the fight with Justice instead of escaping. His name is likely a warped pronunciation of the duo, ''Hall & Oates'', plus he has some real [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_Frwi9mE5o knee-slappin'] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6YmNyROlNQ theme songs.]

*'''J. Geil:''' An ugly motherfucker with two right hands. A sadist through and through, he raped and killed Polnareff's sister, which ironically drove Polnareff to also work under DIO to find him and later join the Crusaders. His Stand, '''The Hanged Man''', is made of light that can jump between reflections and attack from them. He is rather clever , and lies to the Crusaders when explaining his powers to throw them through a loop instead of telling the truth like a chump. He tricks Polnareff using a decoy then calls out homeless people so he can use their eyes as hiding places for The Hanged Man. This did not stop him from being turned into a pincushion by Polnareff and hung upside down like his Stand's counterpart in Tarot.

*'''Nena:''': A morbidly obese, short lady disguised as a teenage Indian girl, who possess '''The Empress'''. The Empress is an odd bit in that it manifests itself by infecting victims using Nena's blood. The blood will then grow into an unsightly cyst and evolves into the stand itself, going from a face to a full upper body. Even as just a face, it was strong enough to kill a doctor using only a scalpel placed into its teeth, and when the upper body formed it was able to deliver powerful punches. Nena infected Joseph with a blood drop on his arm and planned to kill him, thinking it was an easy gig as Hermit Purple is not combat-oriented and Hamon can't harm the user's own body. However, Joseph uses his decades of experience and manages to trap The Empress and kill her, resulting in Nena dying as well and freaking out Polnareff who had been flirting with her at the time.

*'''ZZ:''': The person who possesses the Stand: '''Wheel of Fortune'''. Similar to Strength; WoF takes the characteristics of a vehicle, which in his case is a beaten-up old car, which he turned into a spiked death mobile that would make even a [[Warpsmith]] jealous. At first ZZ tried tricking the Crusaders into a car accident and later tampered with a roadsign to make them go the wrong way where he would ambush them. After causing them to get into another accident, he reveals his identity and that WoF is capable of climbing up walls and burrowing underground. He almost manages to kill Jotaro after shooting him with gasoline and delivering an electric shock, but was fooled by a decoy trick and his car was punched into scrap metal. Losing his car, the Crusaders laugh at his lack of well-toned abs, as he only has four, and leave him chained to a rock Prometheus style. One of the characters to break the 4th Wall, claiming he "ended Part 3 early" when it looked like Jotaro was burning and is noted for having gigantic, muscled arms but a comparatively small body. His namesake is the rock band, ''ZZ Top''.

*'''Enya Geil:''' One of DIO's inner circle and his chief adviser. A shriveled old hag who encourages DIO to develop his powers and to rule ''THE WORLD'' with them. Has two right hands just like her son, J. Geil mentioned above, she loves her son and dotes on him, overlooking the fact that he's a rapist serial killer. She is, naturally, ''extremely'' mad at Polnareff and the Crusaders for killing "innocent son". Her Stand, '''Justice''', is a mist taking the form of a giant skull with a English crown that can raise the dead and can control body parts it puts holes into by using a preexisting wound. It can also create illusions and is next to immune to physical damage because it is made of smoke and large enough to cover an entire city. Enya manages to take control of Polnareff's tongue and makes him lick feces from a toilet before being saved by Jotaro. She was then captured by the Crusaders who wanted to interrogate her, but when Steely Dan activated the flesh bud inside of her, she died loyal to DIO and refused to give them information. Ultimately responsible for parts after the third having Stands flying out of their asses by finding and abusing the Stand Arrow. Despite being old and short, in the OVA she takes on a disguise that makes her look young and like a normal woman which she uses to trick Hol Horse, and later, Polnareff. Also in the OVA, she dies immediately after Jotaro defeats her.

*'''Steely Dan:''' A kebab-stand owner(?) who controls the Stand named '''The Lovers'''. The Lovers is microscopic and can't do anything in straight-up combat. Its specialty is that it can infiltrate the bodies of opponents and do damage from within, but more importantly transfers any damage he would take to the infested person so they would feel it in the same area but amplified. Harmful to the point that, Dan, cracking his knuckles was felt by Joseph in his ''prosthetic'' hand so this allowed him to blackmail Jotaro into being his punching bag/man servant. He's pretty notable in the series for pissing off Jotaro to such a degree that [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guTZEIPe-Ks 6 whole pages/20 seconds were entirely devoted to him being ORA ORA ORAed into oblivion]. His namesake is the band, ''Steely Dan'', censored to "S-Terry Dan" in the PS1 game and "Dan of Steel" in certain material. Rather confusingly, in the older Viz Manga Translation it was "censored" to ''Rubber Soul'' despite the actual Rubber Soul, mentioned above, being censored to ''Robber Soul''.

*'''Arabia Fats:''' The person who controlled the stand: '''Sun''', which is a literal sun that could shoot some kind of energy projectile with extreme accuracy. He attempted to burn the Crusaders in the middle of the desert, forcing them to hide under a rock as they had no way of finding him way out in the open. At first it seems like Kakyoin, Jotaro, and Polnareff have gone crazy from the heat as they start having a good laugh which freaks Joseph out. In reality, they had figured out Fats' trick leading Jotaro to throw a rock at him and they leave Fats knocked out in the middle of nowhere in a desert. Fats had no dialogue outside of the noise he made when hit and was given extra quotes in the PS1 game, Joseph even notes how easily he was defeated. His namesake is the pianist, ''Fats Domino''.

*'''Mannish Boy:''' An impossibly intelligent baby who was given to the Crusaders by an unknown person who turned out to not know anything about the him or his parents. He has fangs for some reason, but that's just a clue that he's one of the more depraved characters in Part 3, something only Kakyoin was able to notice. Mannish Boy knows full well how to smoke and was able to avoid suspicion while manipulating the Crusaders into losing trust in Kakyoin. His most directly dangerous quality is his Stand, '''Death 13''', which is a clown-like reaper that can take people into its own personal carnival dreamworld. Whenever someone falls asleep in vicinity to Mannish Boy, they're taken in and can only remember what happens in the dreamworld if he wants them to; in addition, any injuries a person sustains in the dream will show up in real-life. After an absurd amount of creepy shenanigans, he is defeated when Kakyoin figures out how to summon Hierophant Green in the dreamworld. The real final blow is dealt when Kakyoin mixes Mannish Boy's own feces into his baby food which he can't refuse since he's ''just a baby''. Though his Stand is named after a tarot card, it's not clear if he had an association with DIO and he's never seen again after defeat. His namesake is the song, Mannish Boy, by Muddy Waters. "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-3i0CFloQU Lali-Ho~]"

*'''Cameo & Judgement:''' The user of the stand, '''Judgement''', which looks robotic and can grant "wishes" that are all made to [[Tzeentch|backfire]]. After finding Judgement in a genie's lamp, one wish, a "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlqMB23QfH0 HAIL 2 U!]" and the possibility of becoming a famous manga artist to become bigger than Disney and build "Polnareffland", Polnareff wishes for his sister to be brought back to life but there is a twist. Judgement creates an incomplete copy of her out of sand that believes it will only becomes whole by eating Polnareff and the same happens when he creates a clone of Avdol. Before Judgement can have the clones kill Polnareff, Avdol makes his grand return [https://youtube/JXj0qn0DBdQ "YES! I AM!"] After forcing Judgement to retreat, Avdol and Polnareff find Cameo hiding underground and do some good old male bonding into his breathing tube before being giving him his [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS3nur6o6ME "HELL 2 U!"] Cameo's namesake is the singer of the same name, ''Cameo''.

*'''Midler:''' The final of the Tarot assassins sent after the Crusaders. Her Stand, '''High Priestess''', can possess and transform any mineral matter. She first attacked the Crusaders on their submarine by taking the form of different objects to surprise them. It took the form of a giant face to drown the Crusaders when they were fleeing their sinking submarine, only for Jotaro Kujo MD to do some dental work on her, ORA ORA ORA style. Only seen in the manga and anime as being knocked the fuck out with Polnareff saying her teeth were all gone. When Capcom made the fighting game, they asked Araki to draw a more presentable design for her, and delivered with [[PROMOTIONS|a smokin' hot belly dancer.]] Araki apparently liked this design enough to make it canon, as it appears in later artbooks for the series. Some of her artwork in the PS1 game is redrawn art of Yukako Yamagishi from Part 4, most notably her character select portrait. Her namesake is the singer, ''Bette Midler''.
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<h5><span style='color:orange;font-size:115%'>The Egyptian 9 Glory Gods</span></h5>
As the Stardust Crusaders arrived in Egypt, <s>Araki</s> DIO realized he'd gone through almost the entire Major Arcana from the standard Tarot deck and needed a new naming gimmick. To this end, DIO personally met with each of these assassins and sent them out to finish the Stardust Crusaders once and for all. All of their Stands' namesakes are the Egyptian Gods and they are, for the most part, just as dangerous as any of the previous enemies faced (if not more so, since most of them required some amount of teamwork to defeat).

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*'''N'Doul''': A blind man who possesses '''Geb''', a liquid-based Stand capable of traveling underground to strike from unexpected directions. While ''Geb'' can be used from a long distance; N'Doul can't see, so he had to rely on vibrations he felt in the ground in order to track his victims. Despite [https://youtube/G8mW8SJUrZc?t=588 his handicaps], he was able to incapacitate most of the Crusaders, outmaneuvering Avdol and most notably injuring Kakyoin's eyes to a degree that he needed medical attention. He was defeated when Jotaro found him using Iggy and had a literal ''stand-off'' with him. He kills himself using ''Geb'' as an act of loyalty to DIO before talking about the other Egyptian 9 Glory Gods, something Jotaro respects and gives him a proper burial for.

[[File: Oingo & Boingo.png|250px|right|thumb|As long as we don't fail any Stealth or Luck Checks, they don't stand a chance.]]
*'''The Oingo Boingo Brothers''': Brothers who are both stand-wielders and work as a pair, Oingo is the taller one who does all of talking while Boingo is the shorter, introverted one. Oingo possessed "''Khnum''", a Stand that allows him to alter his physical characteristics to disguise himself as another person, but he can apparently only change his body (though he possibly used his hair to disguise his hat). Boingo possessed "''Tohth (Thoth)''", a Stand taking the form of [[Just as planned|a manga that can predict the future with 100% accuracy]], but only describes specific events and none in-between in addition to being vague on minor details.''Thoth's'' predictions had to be obeyed to the exact detail, otherwise, [[Not as planned|consequences will happen now or later]]. The two originally attempted to assassinate the Crusaders, with failures leading Oingo to disguise himself as Jotaro to plant a bomb disguised as an orange. Despite succeeding, Oingo became the victim of the explosion instead of Jotaro because he effectively became Jotaro (which he saw coming, but kept going because of his trust in Boingo). Regrouping, the Brothers end up hospitalized without the Crusaders knowing due to a previous prediction going awry. Boingo is later kidnapped by Hol Horse and convinced into helping him despite Hol Horse initially not believing in ''Thoth's'' predictions. Everything goes exceedingly well until Hol Horse messes up a prediction and is ['''RETIRED!'''] leaving Boingo on his own. Boingo decides to change and use his predictions for good but this was before being mauled by Iggy, leaving him even more perturbed. The Brothers are notable for causing the art style to change to be more abstract with exaggerated features as this is how everything appears in Thoth's pages. The art change was expanded into giving them their own outro in the anime, where the [https://youtube/ZnC1sQXTCtI Brothers sing about themselves and their stands]. Their namesake is the band, ''Oingo Boingo'', which is censored to Oing & Voing and later "Zenyatta & Mondatta", an album by "The Police", in other material.

*'''Mariah''': She's a hot Little Red Riding Hood who's completely devoted to DIO out of her attraction to him. By touching random conspicuous outlets, the Stand '''Bast''' allows Mariah to turn her victims into living magnets that can attract anything metallic, though the power of this magnetism is based upon how close she is and how much time has passed. Mariah instigated one of the more, if not the most, comical fights in all of JoJo by causing Joseph and Avdol to become magnetized and stuck together in compromising positions. With the way ''Bast'' works, they had an embarrassing time tracking her down as she was able to evade them and keep her distance as the effect would wear off if she wasn't close enough. When Joseph and Avdol seeming corner her from opposite sides, their magnetism keeps them from moving. Mariah was defeated when she failed to realize that Joseph and Avdol were strongest magnetized objects nearby and they crush her between them, knocking her out. Her namesake is the singer, ''Mariah Carey'' but her name was censored in the past to "Mahrahia" in Heritage for the Future. She is normally depicted with bluish white or plain white hair, but keeping in line with JoJo's fluid colorations she's blonde in the official colored manga.

*'''Alessi:''' A sadistic, axe-wielding man who controls the stand '''Sethan''', who takes the form of a bird-like shadow with large eyes while its other features are only visible from the side. Alessi enjoys picking on things weaker than him, especially children, to the point that many call him a pedophile. Being a shadow, Sethan can reflect his actions and what he's holding to extend its reach and it can also make some parts of itself tangible in order to inflict physical damage. Sethan's most dangerous power, however, is that anyone who comes into contact with it will be de-aged and lose their memories over time. In a bizarre turn of events, Alessi turns Polnareff into an 8-year old boy, attempts to kill him but fails as he didn't count on a child still having a stand. A female stranger takes Polnareff in to her home after finding him and while she was giving him a bath, Alessi de-ages her into a fetus. [[Wat|A kid Polnareff ends up running around fully naked while holding the dying fetus of his good Samaritan, while being continually de-aged and hunted by Alessi like a deranged pedophile]]. Alessi is beaten when he encounters Jotaro and after de-aging him to 7 years old, is knocked out because Jotaro is really strong even as a child. When he wakes up, Alessi is truly ['''RETIRED!'''] when Jotaro and Polnareff beat him down for good. He's notable for recreating the [[meme|infamous]] [https://youtube/gpCUMdfRa9w "Heeere's Johnny!"] scene from ''The Shining'', and his ability to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjmfggHOvYo transform characters] in ''Heritage for the Future'', his namesake is the duo band, ''The Alessi Brothers''.

*'''Anubis:''' '''Anubis''' is a stand that inhabits a sword with its original user being long dead, it has absorbed the skills of its past users and opponents. Anubis has the ability to pass through things it doesn't want to cut, the ability to memorize his opponents' moves (making sure the same tricks don't work twice), and the ability to possess whoever wields the sword. This makes Anubis a trifecta of a threatening opponent, and this leads to probably the longest fight in Jojo history between switching wielders five times from farmer named Chaka, a barber named Khan, Polnareff, and lastly, a child. The sword almost kills Jotaro, but he's able to shatter the sword to the hilt with the blade ending up in the Nile River. Its an odd bit in that despite Anubis being forged in ancient Egypt, he is shaped and handled like a Japanese Katana (likely indicating history's first proto-weeaboo was Egyptian). Chaka and Khan together have a namesake in singer, ''Chaka Khan''. In the PS1/Arcade game, Anubis is playable as three different characters, Chaka, Khan, and Anubis Polnareff (or Black Polnareff because putting "black" in your name and having your skin color become a shade of brown apparently means "evil version" or "possessed").

*'''Daniel J. D'Arby (D'Arby the Elder):''' The only real fight the heroes couldn't just punch, D'Arby is a professional gambler and cheater whose stand, '''Osiris''', works on psychology. Those who admit defeat in their hearts get their souls ripped out and turned into poker chips for his games so long as it was bet. He's so <u>''good''</u> at cheating that he found a way to cheat a coin drop game against Joseph. Osiris also affords D'Arby with enhanced tactile senses, to the extent that he can tell what a face down card actually is through touch alone. Jotaro broke his two of fingers to keep him from sneaking cards when they set-up poker, but even this doesn't stop him having a kid who works for him rig the game regardless. D'Arby is defeated when, upon seeing ''Star Platinum's'' speed, he begins suspecting that Jotaro cheated even though D'arby himself has extremely <u>''good''</u> cards and ''knows'' that Jotaro <u>''should''</u> have a bad hand. When Jotaro keeps raising the bet with the souls of Avdol, Kakyoin, and ''his mother'', and demands that his opponent ante up with information about DIO's stand, D'Arby psyches himself out so badly that in one of the most well-done scenes in the [https://youtube/WP1arj7AYuI Anime], [https://youtube/DoXR23BMAvU?t=1316 OVA], AND [https://youtube/v_GbKz0E8Nk?t=406 Abridged Series], he fails to call the bluff and has a complete mental breakdown. His breakdown releases all of the souls he collected and becomes unresponsive when asked about DIO's Stand. He's popular in the fandom for [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AI5bg6KEXXA his hilarious attempt at southern-accented Engrish]. He started the trend of gambler characters in later parts exclaiming "'''''Good!'''''" when a bet is made.

*'''Pet Shop:''' Dio's pet falcon who's as crazy as any other assassin in the series. Its Stand, '''Horus''', can create and manipulate ice to lay traps and launch spikes like homing missiles. He's either very smart for what he is or extremely territorial as he killed the informant that was at the mansion gate so he wouldn't report back to the Crusaders. Iggy opts to avoid him when he sees that Pet Shop had impaled two dogs' heads on a spike, but decides to fight him when the dogs' owner shows up. When Iggy tries to escape, the guard falcon displays how fixed on killing him it is by diving underground after him. Pet Shop is killed when he tries to shoot ice of his beak before Iggy launches himself at him and bites it closed which leads to him exploding. Pet Shop's also infamous for being hilariously broken in any game he appears in, because he's a bird with all the frozen [[Dakka]] he could ever need while everyone else is stuck on the ground. Perpetuating the saying "FUCKING HORUS!" beyond the realms of the Imperium. He's also the only villain none of the Crusaders but Iggy encountered (except maybe Boingo), his namesake is the electric pop band ''Pet Shop Boys''.
</div>
</div>

=====DIO's Caretakers=====
[[File:Gamer Life.png|500px|thumb|right|To be good at games is to be a transcendent being, equal to the Gods, omniscient.]]
*'''Telence T. D'Arby (D'Arby the Younger):''' Daniel J. D'Arby's younger brother by 10 years who is highly proficient in videogames and last of the Egyptian 9 Glory Gods. Similarly to Daniel, his stand '''Atum''' both sucks out souls when they admit defeat or are defeated by him and relies on psychology, but he has the added ability of being able to read the souls of his opponents to decipher their strategies, but can only decipher them through yes or no questions. Unlike his older brother, he binds the souls of his victims into wooden dolls as trophies, [[Grimdark|complete with them being fully conscious]]. Telence has a dislike for his brother as he believes he is better and that Daniel is scared of him as Daniel would never play games with him like he believed normal brothers would; furthermore, Daniel apparently apologized to him after Telence physically beat Daniel for trying to steal his girlfriend. He claims he doesn't cheat like his brother, but his planning ahead allowed him to beat Kakyoin in a racing game and his ability to read souls let him outplay Jotaro in a baseball game. Jotaro defeats him when he finds a way to cheat by having Joseph use Hermit Purple to play the game in his stead. Since Telence lacks his brother's intuition he was unable to see through the trick until it was too late, and as Jotaro points out, Daniel would've noticed easily. He's not as lulzy in terms of accents as his brother, but his [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yieQpgvjAq0 video games deliver the encounter's much-needed Engrish] and the [https://youtube/ZznVQd4q2JI soul-reading dialogue] is a nice touch. Telence shares his namesake with brother, musician ''Terence Trent D'arby''.

*'''Kenny G.:''' One of DIO's more minor henchmen, his Stand is '''Tenore Sax''', which is an illusionary stand that manifests as an endless labyrinth. While seemingly a daunting foe; he was quickly detected by Iggy and disabled. Pretty much a joke character, but his Stand is notable for being named after an instrument rather than a song, band or performer.

*'''Nukesaku:''' The only one of DIO's henchmen not to wield a stand or be named after a musician, Nukesaku is a runt vampire, who's only power besides being vampire is that the back of his head has a female face to disguise himself. Needless to say, even his only shtick was horrible and Jotaro decided to test his immortality by ORA ORA ORAing him into submission. He is killed by DIO after willingly leading the crusaders into DIO's main chamber. A hilarious note is that "Nukesaku" is not really his name, in Japanese it roughly translates to "Idiot". People just call him that so much that it became more common to call him idiot, rather than his real name. He's called "Loser" in the English dub.

*'''Vanilla Ice:''' DIO's most fanatical and powerful vampiric servant...who appears to have taken fashion tips from the Pillar Men. Vanilla Ice became a vampire after Dio tested his loyalty by saying he needed his blood to fully regenerate, where he went the extra mile by using his own stand to decapitate himself without hesitation. Impressed by his devotion (or maybe it was his [[/d/|massive bulge]]) DIO used his blood to resurrect Vanilla Ice, granting him near-immortality. His stand is named '''Cream''', a humanoid monster that has a unique ability where it swallows itself (and Vanilla Ice) in order to become [[Sphere of Annihilation|a null void, literally wiping out chunks of reality]] like the Eldar's D-Cannons. This power is so fucking awesome that it killed Avdol effortlessly, leaving only a pair of arms on the floor. He then killed Iggy by kicking him to near death, out of rage when they tried and failed to assassinate him with a sand clone of DIO (he was forced to destroy the clone with his master's image, which made him ballistic). He would have likely killed Polnareff as well but DIO forgot to tell him that sunlight would incinerate him, which Polnareff used to kill him after he shrugged off every other attack used on him. He's named after American rapper: ''Vanilla Ice'', although due to copyright concerns, he's named as "Cool Ice" in the English dub.

====Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable Villains====
=====Yoshikage Kira=====
[[File:Kirainanutshell.png|thumb|300px|This perfectly sums him up.]]

A serial killer with a really creepy hand fetish. As in, he chops off women's hands to make the severed hands into his "girlfriends", keeping them in fancy boxes and having romantic dinners with them... until they rot and he has to get a replacement. The worst part is that he's seriously obsessed with living an ordinary life as a mediocre person...while also being a serial killer with a really creepy hand fetish. Yet his facade of mediocrity belies an incredible ruthlessness and guile that makes him a genuine threat to anyone who crosses him. Although he's the least threatening main arc villain in terms of his objectives (occasional serial killing compared to stealing fortunes/ruling the world as a vampire, becoming a perfect being and exterminating/ruling humanity, ruling the world as a vampire again, controlling all crime in Naples/Italy, rewriting the entirety of reality, using Jesus's corpse to make America great at the expense of the rest of the world, and...whatever the fuck the stone humans want), he's easily among the creepiest by dint of how coldly meticulous and under the radar he went.

For the most part, he's watched over by his dad, who's a ghost inside of a photograph thanks to his own Stand's abilities. Otherwise, he uses his Stand "'''''Killer Queen'''''", a pink [[Felinid|catlike humanoid]], as a killing instrument. See, its power allows it to imbue objects with an explosive charge which he can set off at will. These explosions are so efficient that they don't leave any trace of his victim, which has led to his long career as a killer. The only thing that he chooses to leave behind is a hand, which he will usually have a relationship with despite being the hand of some girl he just murdered. When combined with Stray Cat's air bubbles, these bombs become ''invisible projectiles''. "Killer Queen" also has two separate components to it. The first is "Sheer Heart Attack", a skull-faced tank-bomb that comes from his right hand. This bomb chases down any heat signatures, which makes it effective for hunting down solitary targets, but when crowded with many heat sources, gets disoriented easily. The second power he gains after switching faces with another person and getting stabbed with a Stand Arrow. This power, "Bites the Dust", is a tiny "Killer Queen" which passes Killer Queen on to a non-Stand user, kills anyone who even ''asks'' them about Kira, and then loops time back to when Bites the Dust was activated, which will happen as much as it needs to until Kira can find out who it is that died. Additionally, anyone killed by Bites the Dust in a time loop will still die at the same moment in subsequent loops, allowing Killer Queen to kill multiple people at the same time. However, he can only have one bomb active at a time, and attacking him directly forces him to withdraw Bites the Dust. The time-loop power was going originally going to be more complicated (Araki considered having its use on Josuke as being the explanation for an identical looking stranger saving his life as a child in the snow) but it was scrapped for being too difficult to write in without inducing plotholes.

=====The Morioh Stand Users=====
*'''Anjuro "Angelo" Katagiri''': A real sick fuck and first villain of Part 4, Angelo is a 34-year-old convicted serial killer and rapist who was put on death row for his crimes in 1994, meaning he was 12 when they were committed. Joseph's vision of him brings Jotaro to Morioh so he can warn his Josuke of the danger. Prior to his execution Keicho Nijimura shot him with the Stand Arrow, granting him his Stand which he used to survive his hanging. His Stand, '''Aqua Necklace''', is similar to N'doul's Geb, but instead of being an extremely long-ranged body of water, it's a small being that take the form of and fuse with liquids and can become mist (if evaporated). Unlike Geb, Aqua Necklace can be used for communication and is effectively invulnerable as heating it up only made it turn into steam but if it's held in a container and moved around, Angelo will be moved as well. Angelo uses it to enter people's bodies and control or outright kill them. When Josuke foiled his robbery, he began targeting his the Higashikatas out of spite but Josuke captured him. Aqua Necklace's ability to disguise itself allowed Angelo to kill Josuke's grandfather and escape to plot his grand revenge. Over the week, Angelo had sabotaged the house to be filled with water during a rainstorm to literally flush the out. Luckily, Josuke had prepared for the situation when Aqua Necklace jumped into his mouth, it was captured in a rubber glove he swallowed and repaired. Cornered in the street, Josuke fuses him to a rock before Angelo starts spilling how he got his Stand and who gave it to him. The criminal stealthily takes a child hostage to force his release and makes the dire mistake of insulting Josuke's hair while doing so. Josuke then completely fuses him with the rock and reforms it to look like a big face, leaving a sapient boulder and landmark of the city: ''「'''Angelo's Rock'''」: A big stone shaped like Angelo, a popular meeting place for couples despite its creepy appearance''. Setting the bar for future Part 4 antagonists, Angelo was incredibly violent and intelligent with a simple Stand ability that could be lethal if used properly. Angelo also set the bar for violence in Part 4 in his first physical appearance, he bites off a dog's face and spits the blood into the owner's mouth along with his Stand because he had stepped in the dog's feces.

*'''Keicho Nijimura''': The elder Nijimura Brother and the brains of the two, instigating the entire first half of the Part. Shortly after the events of Stardust Crusaders Keicho and Okuyasu's father was mutated by DIO's fleshbud, so Keicho took it upon himself to care for both his brother and father. He resented the responsibility, hating what his abusive father had become drove Keicho to believe that the only way to begin his life would be to find someone to kill his father who regenerated all damage. When he obtained the Stand Arrow he set out to find a person with a Stand capable of finally killing his father, so Stand users in the first half of Diamond Is Unbreakable are his doing. Keicho himself has a Stand called '''Bad Company''', which is [[Bolt Action| an army of small soldiers complete with tanks and helicopters.]] While they are small, the damage dealt by their weapons is lethal if focus-fired and the missiles launched the helicopters are comparable to weak grenades. Additionally, being a colony-type Stand, damage dealt to Keicho is minimal if only a few of his units are taken out, significant amount of them must be eliminated for him to take notable damage and all of them for it to kill him. When Josuke and Koichi investigate the Nijimura Residence, Keicho shoots Koichi with the arrow and takes him inside while Okuyasu dealt with Josuke. He later faces Josuke and is overconfident when has all of Bad Company focused on Josuke, but is defeated when Josuke repairs two of Bad Company's missiles and sends them back at him. He was stunned when Josuke repairs the photo that Nijimura Sr. had been looking for the last 10 years and when Josuke suggested finding a Stand User to heal him instead of killing him. Suddenly, ''Red Hot Chili Peppers'' appears through an electrical outlet, seeing him about to strike Okuyasu, Keicho sacrifices himself to knock him out of the way before calling his brother a burden one last time. Keicho is dragged into the electrical outlet and his body is found fried on power lines, with RHCP taking the Bow & Arrow for his own purpose. Near the end of Part 4, Keicho makes one last appearance in Okuyasu's near-death experience where he asks his brother where he truly wants to go and disappears when Okuyasu answered. His Stand, ''Bad Company'', gets its name from the English Rockband of the same name.

[[File: RHCP.png|right|245px|thumb|You can tell he knows his AC from his DC.]]
*'''Akira Otoishi''': One of the Stand Users shot with the Bow & Arrow by Keicho: an arrogant and selfish rock guitarist with a magnificent mane of lavender hair. His Stand, '''Red Hot Chili Pepper''', is powered by electricity and can travel miles away from Akira so long as it has a power source. ''RHCP'' is capable of having insane power and speed when it has enough electricity, but if it runs out of power it can't return to Akira which could be lethal for him. When Akira learned from Josuke that Joseph was coming to Morioh to search for him, Akira devised a plan to fly a remote-controlled plane out to Joseph's ship and kill him. Personally encountering Josuke and Koichi on the docks, he explains his plans to be a "''Ultra Super Guitarist''" like his idols: Jimi Hendrix, Jeff Beck, and Eddie Van Halen. Akira tries to act haughty by saying he can beat Josuke with only his pinky which prompts Josuke to break it with a punch which makes him [[RAGE|SO MAD]] his only reaction is to belt out a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H00EE5uu0Po legendary] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ndk30TWzi7U face melter.] Despite all his rage, he still ended up locked in a cage after Josuke defeated him and Okuyasu saw through his disguise when he got to the boat. Akira was arrested and sentenced to three years in prison on felony charges as he used RHCP to steal a lot of expensive stuff and stayed well-behaved as Jotaro and Josuke would "Chase him down to the deepest corner of Hell and '''end him'''," otherwise. He made his latest appearance in ''Thus Spoke Rohan Kishibe Episode 2'' where he asks for Rohan's autograph, apparently reformed from villainous attitude. Akira is notable for having the chapter be interrupted by an explanation of how his guitar works and his Stand's namesake is the band of the same name. His theme songs in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yA_847kvmY All-Star Battle] and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gl6CAsKJ0Y Eyes of Heaven] both sound like ''Red Hot Chili Peppers'' songs and he likely has the least butchered censored name, Chili Pepper.

*'''Bug-Eaten and another rat''': Two rats who were pierced by the Stand Arrow, giving them both the same Stand. Though we never see their thoughts like we could with Iggy, it is obvious they are relatively intelligent and [[Mork|cunning]] compared to normal rats. Their Stand, '''Ratt''', is a small turret that fires toxic barbs [[Tzimisce|that causes flesh to slough off and form into some kind of bloody gelatin]] for the rats to eat at a later time. They still act very much like normal rats; the primary use of their power has them collect food and expand their territory, [[Skaven|except with a horrifying flesh melting cannon at their disposal]]. Jotaro takes Josuke with him to go hunting for the rats after teaching him how to use ball-bearings as ammo by flicking them. The first rat gets cornered and killed pretty quickly, but the second one (which Jotaro named Bug-Eaten because of its mangled ear) puts up quite the fight. Bug-Eaten almost kills Jotaro with a shot to the neck and almost kills Josuke when he uses himself as bait, since Josuke would not be able to repair himself should he get hit.

*'''Yoshihiro Kira''': Kira's father. He and his wife did not have Yoshikage until they were both at an advanced age, and therefore died when Kira was still young. He became a ghost and somehow obtained a Stand as well, '''Atom Heart Father'''. This Stand with no physical body allows Yoshihiro to bind himself to pictures, and anything that he manipulates inside the picture moves outside of them as well. Yoshihiro can turn the area depicted in an isolated space meaning anything outside the room cannot enter and anything inside cannot leave. Jotaro managed to trap him by folding up the photograph he was in and nail it to a wall, but Yoshihiro tricked Okuyasu into unfolding it and letting him fly off, taking the Stand Arrow with him. Unlike Keicho, he let the arrow guide him to people that were worthy of obtaining Stands. He knows all too well what kind of horrible monster his son had become, but he still protected him [[dawww|because Kira was his only son and he loved him]]. Yoshihiro reunites with his son to help him plot against Josuke and Co. and unknowingly gives Yoshikage the key to his victory. During the final confrontation, he slipped into Hayato's backpack and told Yoshikage Josuke's location through a cellphone. Josuke burns him out and using the phone has Yoshikage blow up his own father.

*'''Ken Oyanagi''': The Janken Kid. A child with a hole in his cheek courtesy of the Stand Arrow, Ken loves janken (rock-paper-scissors) and pesters Rohan into playing with him. Rohan is not amused and at one point [[awesome|decks Ken in the face for being an annoying little shit]]. The punch turned out to be a bad idea though, [[Just As Planned|because Ken had just thrown paper]]. This triggered his Stand, '''Boy II Man''', to take away a third of Heaven's Door as its ability is similar to the D'arby Brothers' Stands. If Ken wins three out of five games he gains permanent control of the opponent's Stand. This lead to an epic game of janken that looked like an actual fight in any other series as they were both glowing with energy and flying into the air as they cast their choices. When Rohan wins, The kid would rather die than submit and jumped in front of a truck, but Rohan jumped after him using his own luck to have it narrowly avoid them. Oyanagi's Stand's namesake is the American singing group, ''Boyz 2 Men''.

*'''Tama''': Also known by his Stand, '''Stray Cat'''. He started out as a normal British Blue until he was struck in the throat by the Stand Arrow. He then broke into the Kawajiri residence's basement, where Shinobu found him. She wanted to chase him out, but he got cut to death by broken glass shards. Kira buried the cat in the yard, and after two days a strange plant sprouted from the grave. Reborn as a plant, he held a grudge against Shinobu and attempted to kill her with with his Stand. ''Stray Cat'' can manipulate air into bubbles that only burst on command and are easily capable of suffocating, trapping, and puncturing its targets. Kira saved Shinobu from him, but nearly died of an emphysema (Stray Cat can also form air bubbles beneath others' skins) trying to kill him so he used yarn to calm him. Kira found out that Stray Cat sleeps when not exposed to sunlight, so he dug him up and put him in a flower pot in the attic. Hayato finds him and later uses him in a plan to kill Kira which fails and has Kira place him in Killer Queen's abdomen, allowing him to make bombs out of the air bubbles. After Kira's death, Okuyasu decided to keep him as a pet and he got along with his father nicely.

*'''Toyohiro Kanedaichi''': A weird dude living in an old telephone tower by himself. He's self-sufficient, having everything he needs in or just around the tower in places he can reach with some contraptions. He's got a good reason for this: the moment he tries to leave the tower he turns to metal and stays like that until he enters it again. This is because the tower he's in is actually a Stand, '''Super Fly'''. It is an autonomous stand keeping him prisoner, and it needs someone else to enter before he can leave. On top of this, Super Fly returns all damage dealt to it into the same direction as said damage came from. Trapped inside with nothing to do, Toyohiro became an incredible acrobat to navigate Super Fly and memorizes exactly where things will ricochet inside. He lures Josuke in with help from Yoshihiro so he can leave but has a change of heart in the end. He decides to stay in the tower and becomes something of a local celebrity, often being visited by tourists.

*'''Terunosuke Miyamoto''': [[Night Lords|A man obsessed with fear]]. Terunosuke's Stand, '''Enigma''', only works after he has identified a person's tell for when they're afraid. Once he confirms the tell, he can place people into sheets of paper which also works on non-sapient things like cartons of milk, bowls of noodles, scorpions and electricity. [[Bag of Holding|A trapped person or object can be freed by having the paper opened]]. He kidnaps Koichi and Tomoko, using them as hostages to scare Josuke when he and Yuya Fungami track him down. Josuke delivers a warning to Miyamoto when Josuke is trapped, and the audacity pressures Yuya into confronting the Enigma Boy despite his own fear. Chasing him down, Terunosuke uses his sense of smell to find Josuke and Koichi among hazards trapped in paper, and finds Josuke and Koichi seconds away from being put into a paper shredder. Allowing himself to be turned into paper also, Yuya pulls the duo, and they quickly incapacitate Miyamoto. Josuke decides not to kill Terunosuke, but instead decides to Angelo him, and uses Crazy Diamond to fuse him into a book, which remains with the Morioh library to this day.

*'''Masazo Kinoto''': An architect hired by Rohan to evaluate the damage done to his house by the fire Rohan had caused due to his intense game of chance with Josuke. Masazo is a weird looking dude, who is mostly bald with a tuft of hair in the shape of the Morioh M. He acts even stranger, always keeping his back to the wall unless he's sure Rohan is right in front of him. Rohan gets suspicious and uses ''Heaven's Door'' to get a read on him. It looks like Masazo is just somewhat neurotic, but when Rohan tricks the man and looks at his back, it bursts open as the independent Stand '''Cheap Trick''' jumps onto Rohan's back, killing Masazo. Cheap Trick's abilities are to hold onto someone's back no matter what, and to kill that person when someone sees that person's back as well as transferring onto the person who saw its victim's back. It can also talk with non-Stand users and even animals. Rohan exploited its ability by heading into Reimi's alley and walking out, turning his back to Koichi. The moment Cheap Trick turns around, however, it was grabbed by the evil spirits in the alley and dragged into Hell, [[awesome|with Rohan writing that last part into Cheap Trick using Heaven's Door to make sure it happens]].

====Part 5: Vento Aureo Villains====
=====Boss/Diavolo=====
Diavolo (which is his moniker by Polnareff) is the boss of the Mafia group "Passione", though he never shows his face and operates under the pseudonym "Soliddo Nazo". He also has pink hair and doesn't wear a shirt, but he is anything but fabulous. Diavolo's main quirk is that he is a MAJOR control freak, which mainly manifests as an anonymity complex, a pathological need to erase the evidence of his own existence, and a split personality named Vinegar Doppio who acts as his ''Consigliere'', his second-in-command.

His stand, "'''''King Crimson'''''", is a red and white man with a tiny face on his forehead and has a power that's really difficult to understand. The simplest explanation is, there is a point of time, Point A. In 10 seconds, Diavolo and only Diavolo can move around, but he can't interact with objects unlike The World's timestop. Other people within these 10 seconds are not conscious, but follows what actions they were supposed to do according to fate. 10 seconds later, at time Point B, anybody caught in King Crimson's power would be where they would be in 10 seconds from Point A, but they have no memory of doing that, seeming like time has skipped. Meanwhile, Diavolo had moved during those skipped 10 seconds to a perfect position to impale an enemy with his fist. As Doppio, "King Crimson" has a secondary Stand in its forehead called "'''''Epitaph'''''" which allows him to see 10 seconds into the future. Combining King Crimson with Epitaph's ability to know exactly what will happen in the 10 seconds of skipped time means that Diavolo is effectively untouchable, as he can dodge and counter almost any attack thrown at him. [[Meme|It just works.]]

Between Diavolo being a mysterious figure (unintentionally making him a dull character thanks to how little we know about him), and his confusing powers, he's regarded as the weakest of the major villains.

=====Passione=====

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<h5><span style='color:orange;font-size:115%'>Passione as a whole</span></h5>
The biggest mafia outfit of Italy, Passione has its hand in every criminal pie, ranging from illegal taxis to hired murder and, of course, drug trafficking. In true ''Jojo'' fashion, each and every single member that isn't a generic mobster is flamboyant as fuck to the point one wonders why the Italian cops don't just arrest every fabulous person they come across just to be sure. Probably has to do with all high-ranking or elite members of Passione being Stand users.

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*'''Leaky-Eye Luca''': An "officer" of Passione in charge of collecting their share of the profit illegal taxis make around Naples. His nickname comes from him surviving being stabbed in the eye, at the cost of said eye permanently crying. Luca is an asshole who fakes pitying drivers who can't or don't want to pony up before beating them to death with his shovel [[Dark Eldar|and selling drugs to kids on the side]]. Giorno fucks him up with his own shovel when he refuses to pay his share, setting up the events of Part 5.

*'''Polpo''': An ABSOLUTE UNIT in both girth and height. This ginormous specimen of a dude lives a cozy life in a decked out prison cell including a gun safe and a pantry, he's also a <s>religious</s>{{BLAM|HERETICAL}} man in his own twisted way, [[Inquisition|claiming that God forgives even murder if it's for a right cause]]. Polpo is Passione's recruiter, tasking applicants to prove their craftiness by giving them a lighter they must keep alight for 24 hours. If the lighter goes off (and since the test is designed to be failed, it will), lighting it up again triggers Polpo's Stand, '''Black Sabbath''', an automatic Stand who attacks the lighter's holder with a Stand arrow; survivors get inducted into Passione. Infuriated by Black Sabbath killing a bystander who turned on the lighter after it got snuffed, Giorno, with the help of Koichi, destroys Black Sabbath and tricks Polpo into [[Awesome|shooting himself in the head with a revolver Gold Experience turned into a banana.]]

*'''Mario Zucchero''': A low-ranking member of Passione who, with his buddy Sale, try to eliminate the Bucciarati gang to steal Polpo's fortune, hidden by Bruno Bucciarati on Capri Island. Despite being weak by Part 5 standards, his hit-and-run style of combat manages to pick off almost all the gang before Bucciarati and Abacchio manage to get him. His Stand, '''Soft Machine''', allow him to stab people and things and make them deflate like balloons. Notable for his attack plan, involving [[What|deflating and hiding a copy of the boat the Bucciarati gang rides inside said boat to give himself plenty of ambush points]].

*'''Sale''': A low-ranking member of Passione who, with his buddy Zucchero, try to eliminate the Bucciarati gang to steal Polpo's fortune, hidden by Bruno Bucciarati on Capri Island. Sale is much more of a direct fighter than his pal, thanks to his Stand '''Kraftwerk''', who can remove or add kinetic energy from items, allowing him to do things like stopping and sending back bullets to an attacker. While insanely overpowered against his opponent Mista; who uses a gun; his cockiness and ignorance about how Sex Pistols work ends up doing him in, when his own power was turned against him by the Pistols and left him lobotomized. Despite bleeding a literal lake of blood on that truck's roof, If ''Purple Haze Feedback'' is canon, he somehow survived the bullet in his brain. Only to die to one of the new bad guys who tears his heart out.
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<h5><span style='color:orange;font-size:115%'>La Squadra Esecuzioni</span></h5>
The "Execution Team" of Passione, regrouping their hitmen. Upon seeing their colleagues leading drug trafficking and illegal gambling had more territory and money than them, they started complaining and threatened to start digging into Diavolo's past. In retaliation, Diavolo [[Grimdark|cut one of them into pieces while still alive, cast the parts into resin to form a puzzle and mailed it to them]] as a warning. This proved to be the last straw and they defected, hunting down Trish as payback.

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*'''Sorbet and Gelato''': The two members of La Squadra who tried to find dirt on Diavolo and paid the ultimate price when their boss found out about it. Sorbet was the guy turned into a human puzzle mentioned above while Gelato, his (really for once in ''JoJo'') gay lover was forced to watch, [[Grimdark|killing himself rather than watching the full ordeal]]. Notable for being bland as fuck-looking compared to everybody who isn't a background character in Part 5.

*'''Formaggio''': [[Dark_Eldar|The sadist of the bunch]] and the first one the Bucciarati gang faces. His Stand, '''Little Feet''', causes objects and living beings to shrink once he touches them, stopping only when he decides it or instantly reversing the shrinking; a flashback has him kill a politician by shrinking a car to microscopic size, drop it in a glass of wine, then growing it back once his target swallowed it. He loses to Narancia, ironically the smallest of the group.

*'''Illuso''': The arrogant of the bunch. His Stand, '''Man in the Mirror''' allows him to drag people into a "mirror world" where everything is reversed and invisible to anybody Illuso didn't drag with him, in addition to having his Stand being virtually indestructible if enemy Stands don't enter the mirror world with their user. Purple Haze, with some help from Abacchio and Giorno, [[Exterminatus|melts his face off.]]

*'''Prosciutto''': The cool dude of the bunch. Acting as a big brother and mentor of sorts for his partner Pesci, he's also a ruthless guy who doesn't take chances. '''The Grateful Dead''', his Stand, induces extra-rapid physical and mental aging on people it touches unless it's cold enough, causing Prosciutto and Pesci to hoard ice cubes to not die. Badass to the end, he manages to survive being thrown under a train long enough to try to kill Giorno and team one last time and imparting some last-minute wisdom to Pesci.

*'''Pesci''': The pussy of the bunch. Pesci is a whiner who can't do anything without angsting or asking Prosciutto for validation, to the point he's called a "momma's boy" even by bystanders. However, like every pussy, Pesci has a breaking point that causes him to go postal once reached, using his Stand '''Beach Boy''', a fishing rod able to snare people through walls and reflect damage to whoever tries to cut the line, with great skill. Ironically the more dangerous of the duo he formed with his brother, as Beach Boy's hook can cut almost anything and even snag its hook into someone's heart. Bucciarati nearly gets killed by him once he pushes him far enough, but manages to exploit his blind rage to finish him off, lamenting how wasteful Pesci's defeat due to misusing his newfound spirit was.

*'''Melone''': The sex pest and womanizer of the bunch, and no they're not one and the same. He is always on the hunt to find an ideal "mother" figure so he can harvest some genetic data for his Stand, '''Baby Face'''. Once he has the data, his Stand is created and becomes an automatic Stand that, while capable of absorbing any form of matter, requires a time to develop. As this is an automatic Stand, once it reaches a certain point, it goes mad and control is lost. Once Baby Face was dealt with, he was pretty much helpless when Giorno tracked him down.

*'''Ghiaccio''': [[Angry_Marines|The fuck-ass mad one of the bunch]], with grammar being his main trigger, stopping in the middle of a battle to rant about mispronunciations of Italian words in other languages. He is also very dangerous as his Stand '''White Album''' not only allows him to freeze anything around him, but it also forms a suit of impenetrable ice armor with skates. It gets worse when he manages to reach absolute zero, when he can stop bullets in midair and then throw them back. In fact, the only weakness of this stand is a singular airhole in the back of the suit's neck, a weakness that could only have been exploited by Giorno and Mista.

*'''Risotto Nero''': The boss of La Squadra and [[Ravenloft|so goth he shits Hot Topic shirts]], though he doesn't involve himself with matters until Sardinia and never even faced Buccierati's gang. By that point, he tries to murder Doppio in order to flush out the boss with his Stand '''Metallica''', tiny metallic ghost-looking orbs that can manipulate iron into any shape, including the iron in blood. What he didn't account for was that Doppio would be so persistent in escaping or that he was actually able to use some of King Crimson's power. It took a hell of a fight, but he was eventually done in by an unsuspecting Narancia; who thinking that he found an assassin out in the open instead of in a fight; ambushed him.

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<h5><span style='color:orange;font-size:115%'>Unità Speciale</span></h5>
The "Special Unit" of Passione, acting as Diavolo's elite guard. While powerful in their own right, they also are completely nuts. Diavolo siccs them on Giorno and team once they betray Passione.

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*'''Tiziano''': One of the two Stand users awaiting the gang in Venice and a creepy fuck matched only by his butt-buddy Squalo. His Stand, '''Talking Head''', is a parasite that affixes itself to the tongue of a person and forces them to only tell lies, no matter how blatant, confusing everybody while Squalo moves in for the kill. [[Dawww|Took a bullet for Squalo both out of love and to give him an opportunity to off Narancia]].
*'''Squalo''': One of the two Stand users awaiting the gang in Venice and a creepy fuck matched only by his butt-buddy Tiziano. Squalo's Stand is '''Clash''', a robotic shark that can appear in any body of liquid, including drinking glasses and puddles. Notable for being the second guy to almost off one of the Jobros (Narancia) after Pesci, and like Pesci, losing because he got overconfident; in his case, gloating while his target could still fight back.
*'''Carne''': Like Pesci above, Carne is fucking weird-looking and way more dangerous than he looks. His introduction has him menacingly stroll towards the group and [[Fail|getting shot in the face by Mista]] as they're about to travel by plane. [[Just as planned]] since Carne's Stand, '''Notorious B.I.G''', can only trigger when it's user dies (How anyone ever found out this was his ability is unknown, it probably did something else too... maybe). Notorious B.I.G is an immortal fleshy blob that feeds on kinetic energy, growing bigger and hungrier the more people or things move in addition to being completely invincible and unkillable. Trish saved the day at the last second, dropping Notorious B.I.G in the ocean where it endlessly chases the currents.
*'''Cioccolata''': The absolute king of [[Dark_Eldar|sick fucks]] in the whole series, hated even by Diavolo. Before joining Passione, Cioccolata was a doctor who intentionally fucked up anesthesia so his patients would wake up in the middle of operations, and before that he worked at a nursing home where he emotionally abused old people till they killed themselves. '''Green Day''', his Stand, diffuses spores that start growing rapidly once their carriers move down in altitude even by a few inches, devouring them in seconds while the sick fuck records it. Once Giorno got to him, he [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSHcFlNOElE| got MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA'd for 7 pages/30 seconds before being catapulted into a garbage truck].
*'''Secco''': Cioccolata's human dog/sex slave/gimp/whatever the fuck. Secco does whatever his "master" tells him to in exchange for headpats and sugar cubes, including fighting Stand users with his own, '''Oasis'''. Oasis looks like a DIY gimp suit that allows Secco to turn solid ground into mud, allowing him to swim through it or fling it at his enemies. Bucciaratti manages to kill him by turning his ground-liquifying powers against him, blowing out a tire underground and Secco's ears with it.

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====Part 6: Stone Ocean Villains====
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=====Enrico Pucci=====
The big bad of Part 6, a <s>gay</s><s>straight</s>SOMETHING ex-Catholic priest who worships the ground Dio walks on and who seeks to use his Stands to rewrite reality as Dio would have wished it. Some say he's gay, as there's flashback scenes where they're laying in bed together (not naked, but their clothes are visibly ruffled), but there is a lack of confirmation as to whether or not Pucci was just that big of an admirer of DIO or actually down bad for him. His Stand "'''''Whitesnake'''''" can swipe away other people's Stands or memories in the form of a disk. Pucci can then insert these disks into other people, allowing them to view these memories or use the Stand on the disk. "Whitesnake" later becomes "'''''C-Moon'''''", which can manipulate gravity. Then shit really hits the fan when he later attains the Stand "'''''Made In Heaven'''''" which can accelerate time ''and'' manipulate gravity. To make a complicated explanation a little easier to explain, as time continues to travel, the universe will hit it's eventual end, and a new universe will be created, where everything repeats itself, according to "fate". Pucci can then alter this universe to his desire, basically making the perfect world that Dio always wanted. With his newfound power, Pucci [[Grimdark|single-handedly slaughters Jotaro and Jolyne's group]], leaving Emporio as the sole survivor. Ultimately, he gets fucked over by Weather Report because Emporio turned his own Stand's powers against him and the universe ends up resetting itself, with Pucci erased from existence.

=====Green Dolphin Street Prison Inmates=====
Recruited by Enrico.
*'''Gwess''': A typical parrot-loving Florida woman who Jolyne shares a bunk with upon arriving at Green Dolphin. Her stand is '''Goo-Goo Dolls,''' which gives her the ability to shrink people down the closer they are to her stand. Gwess forces a tiny [[Furry|Jolyne to speak in "uwu" talk and cosplay as a mouse]] (With an actual mouse corpse). She doesn't join the group after being defeated, as Jolyne doesn't trust her, but she occasionally provides her with information.

*'''Johngalli A''': A near-blind inmate with an inexplicably thicc ass who orchestrated the events that led to Jolyne's imprisonment. Holds a striking resemblance to N'doul, especially when he goes to snipe Jolyne and Jotaro from far away with a smuggled sniper rifle, using his stand '''Downtown Manhattan''' to angle his bullets towards his target.

*'''Thunder McQueen''': A suicidal inmate who was given the stand '''Highway To Hell''' by Whitesnake. Sounds like a stand with an awesome name, right? Well, too bad it's wasted on ghostly propellers that share damage on nearby people whenever the user tries to kill himself.

*'''Miraschon''': A hoop-haired inmate possibly related to the D'Arby brothers with the stand '''Marilyn Manson'''. After being caught stealing by Pucci while he was performing Kakyoin's cherry trick 2.0, he gives her the stand via disk and sends her out to defeat the Green Dolphin gang. The stand works by forcibly taking money from a target whenever they lose a bet or wager, which may extend to organs based on their black market value if they lack the necessary funds.

*'''Lang Rangler''': Contender for one of the weirdest fashion senses in Jojo (And that's saying something when people like Fugo and Anasui exist.) Attempts to kill Jolyne while she attempts to send her father's stand disk to the Speedwagon foundation with '''Jumpin' Jack Flash''', a stand that would solo any of the other Jojo protagonists with its ability to create a zero-gravity zone, complete with horrifying effects such as losing bladder control. Unfortunately for him, he exists in the same part as the OP Weather Report, who generates astronaut suits made of clouds in order to survive the effects and counterattack. Other notable feats about him include stabbing a teacher 69 times and having some slightly wonky cgi in the anime adaptation.

*'''Sports Maxx''': Ah yes, another terrifying psychopath with a silly name. This time around, Sports Maxx is a ruthless gangster (And not the fun Passione type of gangster) who murdered Hermes's sister Gloria for reasons that amounted to Hermes simply being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Despite having been caught committing murder, his sentence manages to be reduced to a measly 5 years under charges of tax evasion and assault, so Hermes decides to take matters into her own hands and kill him herself. In a series first, she actually manages to ambush and kill him before he has a chance to fight back, but soon discovers his stand '''Limp Bizkit''' (Or ''Flaccid Pancake'' in some localisations) has the ability to spawn ''invisible zombies'' from nearby corpses, which attack and eat anything alive in their vicinity. Maxx becomes a zombie himself and manages to chomp away at Jolyne, Hermes, and F.F several times until he is pummeled to dust by Kiss.

*'''Guccio''': Boy, Bucciarati did not age well, did he? Jokes aside, this weird, scrawny man never fights Jolyne and the others directly, instead being used by Pucci to activate '''Survivor''' within the maximum security ward. The stand itself doesn't do much other than spread a weak electric shock of 0.07 volts, but those volts are enough to radically [[RAGE|increase aggression]] while removing pain and fear, escalating a disagreement or slightly aggravating mistake into a [[RIP AND TEAR|gory, animalistic brawl.]] After turning the maximum security ward into an average [[/v/]] board, Guccio mostly stays out of sight to wait for the conflict to blow over until Anasui finds him and turns him into a human beartrap with Diver Down by inverting his ribcage. Later on, Pucci finds his corpse and turns him into his personal boombox to play Georg Friedrich Händel's ''Messiah''. If you've gotten this far into the series, this should sound pretty normal by now.

*'''Viviano Westwood''': Not actually an inmate but a security guard driven ballistic by the effects of Survivor. He's also an anomaly in the Jojo series as one of the few people to actually wear normal clothing. After beating a bootleg Giorno Giovanna into a pulp, he releases all the prisoners in the MSW to start a "fight club" and picks Jolyne as his next target. The two engage in hand-to-hand combat, something that doesn't go too well for Jolyne as Westwood is trained as a prison guard to subdue unruly prisoners. Furthermore, Whitesnake gave Viviano '''Planet Waves''' at some point earlier in the story, which causes meteors to fly towards him from orbit and burn up before making contact, blowing chunks out of anything or anyone that happens to be in the way. This ability, the effects of Survivor and Westwood's training make this fight brutal for Jolyne, to the point where '''''TEARING WESTWOOD'S FUCKING TOENAIL OFF''''' isn't enough to stop him. Aside from making you question Japan's standards for kids' entertainment, the fight ends with Jolyne hitting the prison guard with the force of his own meteors by wrapping his boot around one of the meteors, causing it to continue flying even after the meteor burns away. The fight leaves Jolyne critically injured, which becomes a problem when the next stand user shows up right away.

*'''Kenzo''': A sprightly 78-year-old man and ex-cult leader who lost his power and reputation after surviving a mass suicide. (Though he doesn't exactly make a good job maintaining it when he proudly promotes urine therapy.) He then spent the majority of his prison life perfecting the art of Feng Shui assassination, [[Derp|a one-time concept which takes half of the fight being explained.]] The other half has Foo Fighters perform all kinds of acrobatic shit against Kenzo, who uses his stand '''Dragon's Dream''' like a compass to pinpoint the lucky and unlucky directions of Feng Shui in order to trigger a coincidental series of events that lead up to gruesome accidents, similar to Final Destination. F.F manages to barely survive thanks to their inhuman composition and the fact that Dragon's Dream is a neutral stand that helps F.F and even back sasses Kenzo until he misinterprets his lucky direction and gets fried by an electric chair. Kenzo ''[[wat|somehow survives this]]'' (Maybe that urine therapy actually works?) and makes a desperate dash towards Jolyne. Before he can successfully pull off his assassination, however, Anasui intervenes and uses Diver Down to obliterate his legs and reform them into springs, causing him to bounce helplessly out of commission. A good time for a reminder that Anasui's supposed to be one of the good guys.

*'''D an' G''': Technically the penultimate boss of the Maximum Security Ward arc before Pucci, though we see more of his automatic stand '''Yo-Yo Ma''' than we actually see him. After seemingly being built up as this smart, calculating badass, he ends up as the victim of Anasui's ribcage trap and starts blubbering like a baby over his now-shredded arm (AKA having one of the only normal reactions to injury in this goddamn series). He spends the rest of his screentime being taken into intensive care while his stand attempts to discreetly assassinate Jolyne and Anasui while [[JUST AS PLANNED|feigning sycophantic servitude.]] This almost works as Anasui is too busy trying to get a kissy from Jolyne, but he is eventually incapacitated by his brain getting rewired into a frog's, and dies for good once F.F [[BLAM]]s his user, whose last thoughts were probably "DanG."

*'''The Green Baby''': A homunculus created from the clusterfuck of violence that went down in the security ward. It doesn't directly attack Jolyne and Anasui due to being an actual baby, but its automatic stand '''Green, Green Grass Of Home''' poses more than enough trouble to the duo due to its ability to shrink anyone moving towards the grassy gremlin until they grow microscopic. Fortunately, the effect is nullified by anything the cabbage child touches or finds interest in, which Anasui exploits by knocking a bottle that they're in towards it. It's unknown whether the baby would've been a Jobro or become a leafier Dio, as Pucci recites the holy words to have the baby [[Flesh Tearers|gobble up his arm]] (To which he is ecstatic, of course) and merge with him to create '''C-Moon.'''

*'''Miuccia "Miumiu" Miuller''': Like Viviano above, not actually an inmate but Green Dolphin's head of security. She's tasked by Pucci with preventing the inmates from escaping, a job that must account for the fact that several of the prisoners are dangerous Stand users. So her Stand, '''Jail House Lock''', prevents those affected from remembering more than three new pieces of information at a time or focusing on more than three tasks, erasing the first memory every time they try to remember a fourth. As you might have already guessed, that is a huge pain to deal with. Furthermore, the longer those affected keep looping, the more it erodes their capability to remember what they're trying to do until they give up completely. She also pretends to be an inmate to mess with her targets and taunt them. Jolyne eventually manages to beat her with Emporio's help, and the gang escapes Green Dolphin afterwards to pursue Pucci.

=====Dio's Bastards=====
Note that this is actually meant literally. They're bastards too, though.

'''Ungalo''': An hedonistic, flat-faced loser who inherited Dio's cruelty and hatred of the world. His stand is '''Bohemian Rhapsody''', a phenomenon that causes copyright-friendly (but not visually friendly) versions of fictional characters who live out their stories in the real world. Given the types of stories that exist, this is already [[Warhammer 40k|bad]]. [[FATAL|VERY]], [[Xeelee Sequence|VERY]] [[Chris-Chan|BAD]]. But it gets worse when someone interacts with these characters, as it forces them to play the role of the character they most relate to, including the events leading up to their death. This effect can even include historical figures, as Weather was attacked by Vincent Van Gogh and nearly died like he did. Weather eventually manages to counter this ability by creating '''Put-Back''' his own [[Mary Sue|overpowered OC]], who sucks up all the fictional characters roaming around, causing the effect to disappear alongside Ungalo's [[Star Wars|will to live.]]

'''<U style="font-size:14pt">IT CANNOT BE OVERSTATED HOW TERRIFYING THIS ABILITY IS. IMAGINE IF CHRIS-CHAN ESCAPES FROM PRISON AND ACTUALLY MAKES THE DIMENSIONAL MERGE HAPPEN.</U>'''

Seriously, its range and effect was GLOBAL. In the short time he used it, Ungalo probably killed more people than every other Stand user in the series combined (not including when the world was cosmically retconned, of course).

'''Rikiel:''' A MAN WEARING A DEAD ANIMAL. Initially a meek child, he took a level in badass after receiving the stand '''Sky High''', which looks like a cheap and shitty children's toy but grants Rikiel the ability to control cryptids known as '''rods''' that feed off body heat. This causes all kinds of lovely things to happen to Jolyne, Emporio and Hermes, including forcing eyelids to close, controlling muscle movement by taking away heat, and pissing blood. Inherited Dio's resolve and determination, and probably the closest equivalent to Giorno, though his stand is ironically the only one out of Dio's children not tied to fate.

'''Donatello Versus:''' Not a ninja turtle, but a literal (and figurative) dickhead who inherited Dio's ruthlessness and tendency to be an asshole. '''Under World''' is the name of his stand, and allows him to recreate memories of people, minerals and events that happened in Florida by digging them up from the ground. If someone gets caught in the event being replayed, they are forced to experience everything that occurred within the memory, including the impact from a plane crash. As previously mentioned, he's not exactly a pleasant fellow, as he repeatedly tells Pucci to "shut the fuck up" in response to advice that he perceives as backseat gaming, and later returns Weather Report's memory disk to him, endangering the entire planet and indirectly killing Weather [[That Guy|just for a chance to obtain heaven for himself.]] After escaping an initial defeat, Donatello searches for Jotaro's memory disc and discovers it on Emporio's person after [[/d/|taking off his clothes and making some seriously concerning faces.]] He ultimately dies unceremoniously when Pucci disguises him as himself with Whitesnake in order to cover his escape.
He's named after both Gianni Versace's daughter Donatella and one of his brand's diffusion lines, Versus.

====Part 7: Steel Ball Run Villains====
=====Funny Valentine=====
The fucking president of the United States! No, seriously, he's the 23rd President of the United States, a veteran of the Civil War with the fucking Stars and Stripes as scars on his back, and the real mastermind of the Steel Ball Run. His goal of the race? To recover the Corpse of Jesus Christ and use it to lead America to a new age of lasting prosperity. And that's why you don't fuck with this President!

Oh, and his Stand, "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" (D4C), which allows him to essentially jump between parallel universes. While anything else he brings will be destroyed the moment it comes into contact with its dimensional equal (meaning that he can find someone, drag him into another dimension, and collide him into his dimensional equivalent and kill them both), he is utterly immune to it and is able to replace himself by having his Stand transfer between Valentines. The issue, though, is that it is anchored to one universe: The universe where the Corpse originates from. Eventually, he does recover the Corpse, and at this point, he develops "Love Train", a secondary effect to "D4C" which sheaths him in a field of parallel dimensions. Anything that tries to hit him that passes through the field gets deflected and redirected elsewhere, allowing only good fortune near him. The issue is that it he has to leave this sheath in order to attack. Like Devo, D4C was a victim of copyright law, and in his video game appearances the subs are ''very careful'' to never refer to D4C by its full name. The writers still managed to make this as hilariously stupid as the rest of the series, though; Valentine's signature move in All Star Battle is renamed [[Derp|"Filthy Acts Performed at Fair and Reasonable Prices."]]

=====Diego Brando=====
[[File: Diego Brando.png|right|thumb|200px|Can you take a guess of what character he's based off of?]]
Essentially the SBR version of Dio Brando from the original series. Though he is [[Tzeentch|calculating and callous]] like the original, he is much more considerate with his actions, not killing innocents left and right. However, he won't hesitate to absolutely destroy anyone who gets in his way. His backstory differs in that his father left him behind and he was raised by his mother longer than Dio's (though it was only until he was six). As the original rejected his humanity because it made him weak, Diego takes a different spin on it and [[derp|blames humanity as a whole for his misfortunes]]. He participates in the Steel Ball Run race against Johnny and Gyro, wanting the fatass cash prize at the end for himself.

His Stand, "Scary Monsters", has, arguably, the [[Jokaero|stupidest]] yet [[Trazyn the Infinite|most hilariously awesome]] power in Steel Ball Run and maybe JoJo as a whole. Scary Monsters allows Diego to transform into a blue-green raptor and attack his enemies. For whatever reason as a raptor he has "DIO" plastered over and over again all over his body. If he wishes Diego can simply change his body to have sharp teeth or claws. He can also infect people through bites and scratches and turn them into raptors that are under his control. Essentially he is a [[awesome|wereraptor]], which is awesome in every sense of the word. This even extends to his horse, which he turned into a colossal raptor than can climb up walls. After being upped by Johnny and Gyro on several occasions, he teams up with Funny Valentine in order to gain some revenge and to find some of the Corpse Parts. But in a [[meme|sudden but inevitable betrayal]], Diego makes a 180 and tries to kill Valentine. Naturally, this fails.

*'''Diego 2: Electric Boogaloo:''' At some point in the story Funny Valentine uses D4C to nab another Diego from another universe to help him. He's basically Part 3's Dio with a different name and appearance. He's also still human, which limits his ability to use The World to stop time.

=====Valentine's Assassins=====
Oddballs hired by Valentine to murder Johnny and Gyro, ranging from awful to awesome in writing and style.

*'''The Boomboom Family''' The Boom Boom Family was a family, who were hired as assassins to kill Gyro and Johnny. All three members share the stand ''Tomb of the Boom''. The stand is basicaly a copy paste of Mariah's bast, and it brings nothing new to the table.
Their arc is generaly considered the weakest of Part 7.

*'''Oye Como Va'''

*'''Porkpie Hat Kid'''

*'''Ferdinad'''

*'''Ringo Roadagain''' His stand is called ''Real Man's World'', which allows him to loop time in a small area, such as his house.

*'''Mr. Blackmore'''

*'''The Eleven Men'''

*'''Soundman''' The most unusual of the Steel Ball Run's competitors, as he's an American Indian who spent the entire trip ''on his bare feet. AND HE WAS KEEPING UP WITH THE REST.''

*'''Mike O.'''

*'''Wekapipo'''

*'''Magenta Magenta'''

*'''Axl Ro'''

*'''D.I.S.C.O.'''

====Part 8: JoJoLion Villains====
=====Rock Humans=====
Closeish to the the Pillar Men but without the apocalyptic potential to end the world. Unlike the Pillar Men, they are all Stand users, and oh boy are these ones fucking creepy, even by usual JoJo standards. Their life-cycle is the definition of [[What]]; they start as tiny babies, they latch onto wasps, live in the hive for 17 years, then emerge as fully-formed, normal looking rock humans. Apparently they were the backup plan in case carbon-based life forms failed, as they are composed of Silicon.

======The Rokakaka Smuggling Group======
The group that Joubin worked with, their main goal was to cash in with the Rokakaka's mysterious healing properties by selling it to those in need. Their main concern was keeping the fruit underground and out of sight.

*'''Youtsuyu Yagiyama '''
The architect that drew the new Higashikata mansion. He's the first rock human Josuke comes in contact with. He hates the Hisgashikatas and is envious of their wealth and influence.

His stand is named '''I am a Rock''', and its' gimmick is that it draws objects towards you after Youtsuyu has touched you. This sounds like fun and games, but the objects don't stop once they've reached you, they continue through your skin and flesh, if you let them. The stand is a short ranged one, so Yotsuyu has to be close to the target for his stand to work, and he can attract only one type of object at a time, like flowerpots, rocks and etc.

For some reason he likes to compare him fighting Gappy to chess. Gappy then proceeded to drown him by trapping Yotsuyu in fishnets.

*'''Aishou Dainenjiyama'''
The active dealer of the group, worked as a security guard at the local baseball stadium during the day. Aishou was an extremely paranoid person, due to the trauma caused by his ex-girlfriend cheating on him. His stand was '''Doobie-wah''', which was a long range automatic stand, that locks on to a person's breathing.

The stand then manifests as a twister, and starts chasing the target until it stops breathing.
Oh, and it's size and strength is dependent on the targets breathing, as it grows in size when breathing becomes more erratic and faster, and vice versa. So the only way to defeat it is to either stop breathing or kill the user.

He gets run over by a bus, which is at the same time hilarious and anticlimactic.

*'''Aphex Twins'''
These guys acted as the tough guys of the group, as they would go and rustle up anyone who rubbed the group the wrong way. The younger twin was obsessed with tribelling with his ball, which is actually a bag where he keeps his stand. The elder twin in turn was the brain of the duo, coming up with strategies for encounters.

Their stands were named '''Schott Key no.1''' and '''Schott Key no.2'''. No.1 could transfer stuff from the users right hand to the left, it scraped away things like The Hand, and then shot them forth from the users left hand. No.2 was a small poison-gas emitting stand, the gas could corrode flesh when touched. It was also the one that hid in the ball-shaped bag.

They get their asses handed to themselves by Gappy and Karera.

*'''Tamaki Damo'''
This man was one of the most awesome rock humans ever introduced into the story. During his appearance he did not only kill off Kira Yoshikage, but also infiltrate the Higashikata household by dating(and banging) Hato and then turn everyone inside the house into silicone-like goop. He got his design and demeanour from "the American Hustle's" protagonist Irwing, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIp6DdirlsQ even sharing the goofy receding-hairline joke]

Damo's stand was '''Vitamin C''', which looked like an octopus jester. It could spread wet fingerprints everywhere where it touched, and those that touched the fingerprints would slowly turn into a silicone-like state. In that state they would have trouble moving, and were extremely soft, so Damo could cut limbs off by using a 1000-Yen bill.

He was killed off in brutal fashion, with Gappy crushing his skull with Soft & Wet.

======The TG University Doctors======
A small clique of rock humans commanding the smuggling group, all with jobs as doctors of the University's hospital. They seek to improve their Rokakaka based medicine with the new Rokakaka so they can sell them to gain steadily more wealth and power until they can rise above humanity.

*'''Urban Guerilla''':
*'''Poor Tom''':
*'''Wu Tomoki'''
*'''Tooru/The Head Doctor''': the main Villain of the part, he is unique in that his stand, '''Wonder of U''', has its own identity, that being Satoru Afeku, the Head Doctor. His Stand ability is pretty broken; anyone that tries to pursue his Stand is met with calamity, meaning that if you so much as think about following the Head Doctor then shit will go down. This meant that to beat him, you have to let him come to you.

==Terms and Stuff You Need to Know==
===Ripple===
The Ripple, or "Hamon", as it's sometimes translated as, was a power introduced in Phantom Blood and used up until early Stardust Crusaders. Created by monks in fuckknowswhere-istan, this martial art(?) was created to specifically destroy undead zombies and vampires. The user, quite literally, harnesses the power of the sun via breathing. This can let the user empower their attacks and attain superhuman feats, including walking on water, or climbing slippery surfaces using only their fingertips. And for dramatic effect, the Ripple can transfer to metal and organic materials via a process called "Sendo", making it unstable and acting like a weapon in of itself. Used creatively, ripple-infused weapons can include projectile bubbles, hair, bolos, etc. The last person to uses this was Joseph, who stops training in it after Part 2, and only uses it a couple times in Part 3. When he returns in Part 4, he's such an old man that he's incapable of even that (though to be fair, this was his choice. The Ripple could extend a person's natural lifespan considerably, but one guy still feared growing old, became a vampire, and then died because sunlight. Joseph opts not to do this.) Ripple is also a lot more situational than Stands, especially since Stands can pretty much say fuck you to reality itself.

*'''Spin''': The Spin is basically a new version of the Ripple introduced in Part 7. We're not joking when we say it's almost exactly like Hamon except it's far more flashy and when it comes into contact with objects it makes them spin rapidly(duh) by achieving the perfect rotational ratio of the Golden Rectangle (A rectangle that can break into a perfect square and a smaller rectangle with which to repeat this process, potentially ad infinitem). Gyro Zeppili is the most effective with the Spin, using it to charge and launch steel balls at his enemies, though Johnny eventually manages to pull it off using his nails (and Tusk) to create localised fucking multi-dimensional blackholes. Suddenly Johnny's stand power isn't so lame.

===Stands===
[[File:Star Platinum Stand.png|thumb|right|200px|Jotaro's Stand "Star Platinum"]]
Stands are... weird to say the least. Getting their start in Stardust Crusaders, they are literal spiritual manifestations on a user's willpower and strength. The capabilities of Stands can vary absurdly, among the known powers are: stopping time, shooting out crystal projectiles, tossing marbles that are practically mini virus bombs, and punches so powerful they can break diamond. There are some stands that aren't combat oriented, such as spiritual photography, enhanced healing, or reading people's memories, but generally most are. A big part of JoJo (past part 2 and its subsequent influence on anime in general) is that a Stand's ability is often used in unexpectedly creative ways in order to win. For example, Star Platinum is initially assumed to just be capable of incredible strength and fast punches with incredible precision. Whilst it's useful as a fighting beatstick, it also gets used as a microscope, sketch artist, and even a vacuum cleaner for a gas based opposing stand (not counting eventually being able to stop time).
The situation is complicated further by the fact that virtually anyone can be a Stand user, so ambushes by enemies are frequent. The first few were introduced were based of the tarot cards (Star Platinum, Magician's Red, etc), but from mid-Part 3 and onward they were named after Egyptian Gods, famous rock musicians and songs. Rolling Stones, Purple Haze, and ''fucking Metallica'' are Stands. This made later incarnations of Jojo to be an absolute copyright hell to deal with, since literally every Stand and maybe character can be traced to a band, person, or song. Many names had to be either adjusted or changed completely in localizations.

They also don't have much of a fixed way of manifesting either, with some people being born knowing how to use them (Avdol, Kakyoin), while the Joestars only developed it with DIO receiving his, while others still had to get stabbed with magical arrows made from a meteorite or ending up in a weird mystic area and touching mummified body parts. It is clear that if one person in a family obtains a Stand, their living descendants will then gain their own Stands with descendants who are born later having at least the potential to develop a Stand (e.g. DIO and the Joestars). In some rare cases, sheer willpower is capable of manifesting a Stand (e.g. Tonio Trussardi).

While having a Stand sounds like a pretty cool thing on paper, its not as great as it sounds due to the fact that Stand users are somehow drawn to each other (hence the unusually high number of Stand users in Morioh despite being a pretty small town) and a lot of people who develop Stands aren't exactly of the benevolent sort.

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">
While there are an array of inconsistencies with Stands, JoJo was nice enough to give this list of the rules for Stands.
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
*A Stand protects its user, like a guardian. The name comes from "standing by" the user, sometimes using their powers without direct orders in order to protect the user, and by extension, themselves.
**Automatic Stands are those that are able to operate independently of their User, some can act without their User's knowledge or input and can be a detriment to the User if their abilities are also automatic (e.g. Black Sabbath, Superfly, Civil War). In some cases, the Stands think for themselves and can turn against their User if they see fit.
*A person can have only one Stand though their Stand may evolve (e.g. Echoes, Tusk).
*Not everyone is strong enough to acquire a stand, whether it's by the Golden Arrow or other means (e.g. Holly slowly dying from her own stand, Koichi slowly dying after being hit with a Golden Arrow).
*Conversely, any living thing is capable of acquiring a stand, from babies, to animals, to ''plankton'', to trees.
*Inanimate objects are also capable of possessing Stands though it is not clear if they are retained from a living user or manifested by themselves.
*Stands can be inherited. In a rare cases even shared between multiple living biological relatives.
*A Stand is part of its user, and damage is usually reflected between the two. Usually, if a Stand's leg is cut off, its user will lose their leg as well. Certain aspects of some Stands, such as the armor of "Silver Chariot" or "The Fool", are immune to this effect. If the Stand is not exactly humanoid, they may reflect damage to their user's body relative to the area of the Stand that was damaged (e.g. High Priestess, Geb), or are an exception. Additionally, if a Stand can be bound or trapped in some way the User will likewise be unable to move
**Some Stands are completely invulnerable or impervious so only damage to their User will affect or otherwise destroy them.
*Stands may only be seen by Stand users;although there are exceptions including Stands bound to physical objects or are just corporeal for the sake of their abilities(e.g. Strength; attached once to a boat, Thoth; a physical comic that could change, Yellow Temperance; a blob of flesh that can form itself into disguises, Cheap Trick).
*A Stand can only be directly damaged by another Stand or objects affected by thier abilities. A Stand user, however, can still be attacked directly by a stand or conventional attacks.
*A Stand's energy or power is inversely proportional to their operating range. The further a Stand is from its user, the weaker it becomes – Long-range Stands and/or Stands' long-range abilities are simpler in mechanism. Two exceptions are Hanged Man, which travels from mirror to mirror, and Red Hot Chili Pepper, an electricity-based stand that can travel anywhere that has power lines or aboard anything with a battery.
**Automatic Stands tend to be exceptions to this rule, as some operate without the User's direct input or direction.
*When a Stand User dies, their Stand disappears with them unless the ability is activated by their death, retains their soul, or is completely retained within an object(e.g., Notorious B.I.G., Atom Heart Father, Cheap Trick, Limp Bizkit, Anubis).
*When a Stand is destroyed or dealt enough damage, their user is either knocked unconscious or killed, depending on the level of injury.
**In a number of cases, Automatic Stands are exceptions (e.g. Judgement, Superfly, Surface).
*Stands allow people to see ghosts (since Stands themselves are spiritual phenomena), a fact that becomes important to the plot of Part 4.
</div>
</div>
*'''Stand Arrow''': Once, about 50,000 years ago, a meteorite crashed in Greenland. Some time in the 70's, an exploration team was sent to bring it in, but suddenly killed each other or died of illness. It was discovered that they were infected by alien virus in the rocks. Some of these rocks were taken by a man centuries before who wishes for the power of gods and fashioned into a set of arrows. These arrows tend to kickstart the process of developing a stand by cutting or piercing someone, but the spiritual strain of the process could prove to be fatal to some. And if you get hit by one while owning a stand? Well, surviving tends to grant you an incredible new power, usually called a Requiem. It's known that about five of these exist: One was given to Enya Geil (an old lady serving Dio), and another found its way to Kira. Yet another was found by Polnareff, which is then handed over to Giorno. The rest are owned by Diavolo.

*'''Corpse Parts''': Okay... [[wat]]. If you thought all the aforementioned stuff above was strange, you're in for a real treat. So get this; in Steel Ball Run, a major driving part of the plot is that both the heroes and villains are searching for the body parts of what they believe to be the shriveled corpse of some long-dead Saint. Why they want them is that if they ''absorb'' the body part into themselves, they get a Stand and various other benefits, making them the JoJolion version of the Golden Arrow. Of course the various characters searching for it want it for various reasons, but those are the main benefits. Oh, by the way, it's later discovered that the Corpse Parts are actually the '''''body parts of Jesus Christ.''''' We ain't talking Communion or some shit; the literal, physical, holes-in-the-hands body of Jesus. Somehow his body made it to North America centuries ago and an earthquake split it into nine separate pieces and spread it throughout the U.S.
:It gets even more bizarre when you remember that Joshua ben Joseph was Jesus' given name, which means that his name abbreviates into JoJo.

===Stone Masks===
These grotesque, fanged stone masks only appear in the first and second parts, but are vitally important to the story as a whole. Initially believed to come from the Aztecs, they are actually creations of the Pillar Men; intended to allow for the Pillar Men to overcome their weaknesses and become true gods. When placed on the face and smeared with blood, they drive spikes into a wearer's brain, transforming them into a vampire. Dio Brando became a vampire through the power of one of these masks.
However, when powered with the Red Stone of Aja, a gem that can amplify the powers of the sun, not only rendered Pillar Men such as Kars immune to sunlight and Ripple, but also gains the ability to shapeshift into whatever he wants, such as gaining wings or turning feathers into fucking piranhas.
*'''Vampires''': Human beings transformed by the Stone Masks who for the most part are same the average depiction of the bloodsuckers, though there are some notable differences. While they do have fangs, they are able to and more commonly drink blood through their fingers which is likely much more effective. Their abilities include super strength, enthralling victims, zombification, regeneration and slowed or reversed aging through absorbing blood. Vampires are also capable of raising the dead by dripping their blood onto the corpses, those revived by this gain super strength along with vampiric abilities. As with normal vampires, they are completely destroyed by sunlight and are additionally weak to the Ripple and the same goes for their undead minions.
[[File:Duwang in color.png|470px|right|]]

===Duwang===
If you're wondering why some people keep referencing "Duwang" or "ABAJ", it is a reference to an extremely poorly translated version of JoJo part 4, infamously known as [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6S2Tj-3nmw the "Duwang" translation]. The translation was a group of Chinese students final project for his English class - "Duwang" is a Chinese reading of the Kanji that make up the name "Morioh." Due to the poor quality of the translation, the students in fact failed the subject. Despite this, for the longest time it was the only available English translation, leaving a lasting impact on JoJo fans with Josuke & Co. being colloquially known as the "Duwang Gang". The Engrish phrases used are so unintentionally hilarious that the dialogue was eventually ported over into fansubs for the anime version, and before that they were continuously referenced in more quality translations.

===Araki Forgot===
given how batshit and hard to read some scenes are, plus context clues dead on the internet, fans remember Araki for being extremely forgetful as he often seems to forget key details in his writing, and one will often see characters not use their established abilities even though the situation is perfect for them (though often a miss understanding of the characters, the situation, or the powers themselves). Most notable example of this is Jotaros Star Finger, which gets used maybe three times in the entire series despite its effectiveness (at least its almost always a part of his arsenal in vidya, though he only used it twice in the series were both times was when his arms were restained and were never confirmed they were more effective, but man we wished he used it more). There are several examples like that and the anime adaptation generally remains so faithful to the source material that it generally does not make attempts to fix these (perceived) issues. As there is often plainly spelled reason for why a certain ability was not used when fans think it should be used that way, fans have a tendency to just say Araki Forgot as that is generally what really happened.

Given so many moving parts and esoterical powers, sometime [[skub|Araki Forgot is just a synonym "that what I would have done"]]
*[[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwhq07t0WOPaoyf_N8hzdz66hsHRmwY8-|Debunking Araki Forgot]] a series that helps even veteran jojo fans remember often obscure and misremembered plot points lost after hundreds of chapters.

===Fate===
A continuous recurring motif and driving force in each part is an observable force in the stories, with its mechanics being fleshed out with each entry. Also called ''gravity'' and ''is'' synonymous with that fundamental force. Gravity is not dictated by a higher sentient power. Still, it has a natural ''flow''. It has a preference for particular outcomes, favoring the side of justice to win in the end, or the repeating of tropes like the Zeppeli companion will always die to give a Jostar thier final powerboost. Like predictable cosmic laws, it can be read and benefited from, with fortune reading, feng shui, or a good business running sense letting you read the flow of fate, and the corpses of saints/sinners will attract blessings/curses. Relating to the chain of Causality, A person can't really change thier fate; few only have the high insight to realize they have one, and a rarer few have experienced "''heaven''," glimpsing past the illusion of free will. Unless, like a powerful current, they interact with a stronger force of ''gravity'', overriding a predetermined outcome. You only can change fate if your fated to change it. Like a more subtle grim reaper from Final Destination (one of araki's favorite movies), If something is predicted with certainty, circumstances will contrive to make it happen and continue to make it happen until it lands if you somehow have enough cleverness and ''luck'' to keep on dodging it. If you are lucky, it's caused by an enemy Stand and will turn off when you ''retire'' them. Otherwise, it would be best to hold off on this inevitability long enough until it resolves as something beneficial. Unfortunately for the main cast, predictions thought no longer in effect will jump out of the bushes and kill them in the final act (spoilers).

==JoJo Media==
*'''Manga''': Obviously, if you want JoJo in its original, true form, you can find yourself some copies or just read it online (most Parts aren't physically available in English). JOJONIUM is a series of updated re-releases of Parts 1-3 that includes additional new artwork and commentary from Araki and is available in English. There are also spin-offs (including those not made by Araki) and artbooks.

*'''Novels''': [[Black Library|Spin-off novels of dubious canonicity and varying qualities]] that can get even more ''bizarre'' than the manga series.

*'''1993 OVA''': An OVA for Stardust Crusaders that came out in 1993 simply titled "Jojo's Bizarre Adventure", which started with the Crusaders already in Egypt. In 2000, more episodes were released which detailed the beginning of Part 3 and the eventual departure from Japan. It re-imagines Stardust Crusaders to be more gritty than the manga with added gore and violence along with scenes being completely altered. The OVA skips more than half of Part 3, as it only includes the fights with Kakyoin, Polnareff, Forever, Hol Horse & J. Geil, Enya, N'Doul, D'Arby, Vanilla Ice and DIO with all but three of these receiving major changes. The fights with N'Doul and D'Arby are faithfully recreated; additionally, the final battle against DIO is notably altered and extended as the fight is far more destructive with scenes such as DIO knocking Jotaro through a bus and throwing a fishing boat at him. This is also the source of the trend of replacing "The World" with "ZA WARUDO" due to DIO's voice-actor's excited exclamation whenever he announces The World's time-stop. Regardless of the all the changes, the OVA is worth watching for its great animation and the fact that it was the only animated JoJo adaptation for almost 20 years. Being the first JoJo media with English voice-acting, one may find extra enjoyment in the frankly ''bizarre'' [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4eAKOY4wdY English dub].
**Don't expect to find this on any streaming service, as it was pulled from shelves years ago after it was found out that DIO was reading the Quran in one scene. Blame early-to-mid-2000's Islamaphobia.

*''' 2007 Movie''': Animated adaptation of Phantom Blood by the same studio that made the 1993 OVA, unavailable as it hasn't been released in any form to the public since its theater showing, though first 15 minutes and several trailers can be found on YouTube. Judging from them, film is a hell of mess that tries to stuff 44 chapters each at least 20 pages long into an hour and a half movie.

*'''TV Series''': The TV anime by David Production that started in 2012, which is responsible for the current Jojo resurgence of popularity. The anime is noted for its stellar music and voice performances that are [[meme|perpetually referenced]] by fans to the point of making the series even more popular. It has near obsessive capturing of moments as they tend to recreate even the smallest scenes and barely edits the iconic poses JoJo is known for. Cover Pages, musical inspirations, and previous and later works by Araki are referenced as bonuses to long-time fans and to add extra flair. Unlike the 1993 OVA, it displays the colorful and ''bizarre'' nature of JoJo to its fullest with very few discrepancies, giving the series the adaptation it deserves.

*''' 2017 OVAs''': 4 episode adaptation of the Rohan starring spin-off made by David Production. Pretty much has the same pros and cons as the anime series.

*''' 2017 Movie''': Live-action adaptation of Diamond Is Unbreakable, which notably alters the story to fit it into one movie and shift the focus from overall JoJo plot to a Josuke one. Overall not bad, though effects aren't that great.

*''' 2020 Series''': 6 episodes live-action adaptation of Rohan starring spin-offs and novels. They follow the footsteps of the movie in quite altering the plot of the stories to make them less dependent on the overall JoJo lore.

*'''JoJo's Venture/JJBA: Heritage for the Future''': Originally an arcade fighting game, it was subsequently re-released for the Dreamcast and PS1 in 1998. This was pretty much the first contact many Westerners had with JoJo. Based on Part 3 and plays a lot like Street Fighter because it was made by Capcom, who at the time were also working on Street Fighter 3. The game was available on the PSN and Xbox markets in the form of an HD release which lacked a good amount of content (such as Super Story Mode) and is no longer available.

*'''PS2 Vidyas''': There are two other Vidya made around 2005, one detailing the events of Part 1 (Which was supposed to tie into the movie that never released), it's a level-based brawler that's kind of clunky. The other game (Golden Whirlwind) details Part 5 and is a lot more polished, though it ironically came out years before the Phantom Blood game. It skips a number of fights and is more of a fighting game in the fact that you mainly fight one-on-one, so scenes are recreated more faithfully with the fights that were skipped being available in extras as voiced comics. Golden Whirlwind contains nod to Heritage for the Future as they both developed by Capcom.

*'''All-Star Battle''': Another JoJo fighting vidya from 2013, but this time pulls characters from all eight arcs. Nothing really notable except that it's the most ''absolutely fucking fabulous'' game ever. For the international release, they managed to get very clever with avoiding copyright on the names of various characters , Stands, and attacks (e.g. Polnareff is Eiffel, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap is "Filthy Acts at a Reasonable Price", Vanilla Ice is Cool Ice and so on). To top it all off a number of characters have musical references in their theme songs some more clear than others; to name obvious, a bit of Back in Black in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv_qe5oQoPo Esidisi's theme] and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyVUX1tkY0M Kira] has Queen all over and even more in his [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2K1E6wx_Sc EoH Theme].
**Was re-released in 2022 as '''All-Star Battle R''', introducing even more characters from various parts (most lifted from EoH) since we've now since seen not only anime adaptations for everything up to Stone Ocean come out but also the completion of Jojolion where the original released when Jojolion just started.

*'''Eyes of Heaven''': ''Another'' JoJo vidya, this time an arena fighting game with a few more characters that weren't in All-Star Battle. Notable for its absolutely hilarious story mode involving time-travel and the other JoJo's meeting each other. The essential cause of this was Funny Valentine's dimension hopping had him to run into a version of DIO who can will whatever he wants into reality using his Stand, '''The World Over Heaven''', and now he wants the Corpse Parts to become even more powerful and defeat the Joestars permanently. The ending basically rewrites part 3 and onward to be a bit less [[grimdark]], in that Jotaro's entire party survives at the end, while Jotaro becomes a better father to Jolyne as he brings her with him at start of part 4. [[Dawww]].

[[Category: Weeaboo]][[Category: Under Development]] [[Category: Approved Media]]

Humanity Fuck Yeah

2026-03-25T06:24:19Z

Archange1: Undo revision 1008413 by 192.42.116.179 (talk)

{{Topquote|We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our One True God to a stick! '''Don't fuck with humanity!'''|Anonymous /tg/ poster}}
{{Topquote|God has a hard-on for marines. Because we kill everything we see.|Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, ''Full Metal Jacket''}}
{{Topquote|Everything in our superior culture symbolises death, meaning we can do away with metaphysics entirely. Instead, we can fully focus on the extermination of all other sentient creatures without long-winded, tedious and bloviating discussions, symposiums and debates getting in the way. Every moment we spend questioning our actions is a moment we could better spend slaughtering xenos, after all!|The Regimental Standard}}

[[File:United Empire - Enless Space 2.jpg|right|thumb|500px|[https://youtube/HTbS8BEa1oI Enlist today!]]]

Out of all threads that appear at the [[/tg/]], it is this kind of threads that hold that one special place in the hearts of [[neckbeards|fa/tg/uys]]. It shows [[Humans|humanity]] for what it really is: a savage but superior bunch of mighty and brilliant alphas with machines that [[rape]] any organism that dares stand in its path, then proceed to do the same to any aliens across which they come, as they are all pathetically inferior in every way. This can take many forms, including military, cultural, culinary, and sexual(is surprisingly not much). The foremost is the most common in these stories.

==Why we are awesome==
Many glorious hours of dedicated hard work were given to these threads, the finest lines of which would make any xeno race run to the edge of the known universe, even if the humans were still in the stone age. Reasons why humans are such a threat to the rest of the galaxy are various, but a good deal can be summed up in the following list:

*'''Our Creation''' - We were created and we THRIVED on all range of extreme environments all over the Earth, from the infernal heat of Africa where everything is trying to KILL YOU! '''ALL THE TIME!''', to the frigid apocalyptic wastelands of the North and the Ice Age where survival depended on constant invention and ingenuity. Fuck, the lowest recorded temperature in Canada (which most of America thinks is home to a bunch of pansies), where people live, is about that of [[Mars]], 33.9 million miles further away from the [[Sun]] than we are. Aliens usually evolved on some herbivore world or become less "on their guard" due to centuries of living away from nature, not troubled by survival.
*'''Our history''' - Humans have been getting better at killing each other basically even '''before''' they made stone axes, and we got [[awesome|better]] over time. You think proud warrior races have shit on us? Spartan style training they undergo makes only a handful of survivors. No matter how good they are, we'll just drown them in conscripts. We also nearly went extinct once, BECAUSE A '''HUGE''' VOLCANO EXPLODED, making us only have about 5000 INDIVIDUALS left and of them ONLY 40 PAIRS were BREEDING ONES. Did that make us quit? NOPE. Only about 70000 years later we had 7,4 BILLION INDIVIDUALS, having 100 TIMES more biomass than any other large animal species in the history of our planet!!! That is a [[Promotions|hell of a lot of breeding]] <s>(which has also made us have a very low genetic variety almost making us inbred but not quite. BUT STILL)</s> NOPE, after some time the amount of random mutations in generations following have restored the diversity, which had an added benefit of "flushing" the old traits and selecting for new ones. Viral weapons engineered to target us along with superior military weaponry? 500 years ago the native populations of America got reduced to a tenth of their original number due introduction of foreign pathogenic agents and european conquest wars, Coronavirus and Independence Day got nothing on what they endured, they were used as the lower menial caste for generations, yet in half a millennium they recovered their numbers, mixed with the conquerors, learned most of their technologies and social achievements and finally threw their foreign overlords out of their territories and are in the process of catching up with the developed world, buenos dias señor! (You can see the same pattern in India, Africa, etc, aside from very specific incidents not even humans can wipe out humans) With The moral of the story is that do not fuck with us, xenos. No matter what you do WE WILL SURVIVE. And after a while: WE. WILL. THRIVE.
*'''Our bodies''' -So-called "apex predators" like lions, bears and sharks are relatively harmless compared to us. Our blood is literally made of iron. We're the ultimate omnivores, we hunt down, kill, burn and fu-{{BLAM}} {{BLAM|[[Furries|Heresy of the highest order!]]}} eat absolutely anything, sometimes to the point of ''rendering entire species to extinction'' (Woolly mammoths, which are basically fucking huge elephants on steroids, learned this the hard way. And, contrary to what ''Jaws'' would have you believe, sharks are also getting the same genocidal treatment, as they're now a critically endangered species all because ''we eat their fins for fancy soup''). It's as if we are Tyranids without a hive mind. And if that piece of meat has parasites in it, or if that vegetable tastes a little too bland? No problem, as we have a little something called cooking: Just ''Burn'' it before you eat it! Kills the parasites so you can digest them, and also makes the flavour a lot better. We also, in a direct fuck you to Darwin's laws, have the reputation of consuming different kinds of toxic chemicals yet still remaining alive, all for the sake of the experience of consuming it: the most notorious of which is Alcohol, one of the most volatile, flammable, caustic solvents in chemistry that is for all intents and purposes, POISON. It's an instant [[Exterminatus]] for all bacteria and microorganisms, and a VX-like neurotoxin to invertebrates, arthropods and almost every other small animal. Why? Because it's FUN! We use nutmeg, a hepatotoxic hallucinogen (in higher doses anyway, although it contains chemicals similar to [[Spook|MDMA]]), because it's TASTY! If we have a headache ''after'' ingesting alcohol, we take acetaminophen, ''another'' drug that's a fuckyou to our liver that'll kill many other mammal species on the planet.
** Something that's also tend to be forgotten nowadays is that our ancestors were known for their extreme amounts of endurance. We used to walk for ''miles'' nonstop towards absolutely anywhere, and this physiology that evolved for a nomadic lifestyle is the reason for humanity spreading all over the earth when other terrestrial animals tend to stay only within a single biome. How do you think we were able to cross the inferno that was the Sahara (even as late as Pharaonic Egypt, the Sahara was significantly smaller than it is today; when our Paleo/Neolithic ancestors were first leaving Africa, most of the Sahara was still highly productive savannah), or settle in the infertile mountains of the North, without the use of modern amenities like cars, roads and trains?
*'''Our mind''' -The most terrifying aspect of us would probably be our brains and technology. Our aggressive instincts combined with our intelligence will never cease to come up with better and deadlier ways to warp reality in our own Image, and to torture and exterminate the enemy, and such would probably seem like incomprehensible Lovecraftian Magic to lower species. Our modern tech would scare the shit out of tribal communities. We have exterminated a lot of species like the Dodo ''simply by uncaring accident'' (which is probably why '''we are <s>thriving during</s> an extinction event''' (for now at least)). What we can come up with scares the shit out of ourselves even. Think Nuclear Weapons and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutual_assured_destruction M.A.D.] for example.
*'''Our pets''' -Humans have this neat ability to <s>enslave</s> assimilate other lifeforms into their society as a symbiotic or commensialistic partnership. Wolves were initially picking our scraps, until a genetic mutation occured and we figured out behavioural conditoning to turn them into our own personal bodyguards and attack drones; this eventually created Dogs which humans now considers family while also moulding them into different breeds according to our aesthetic and material needs (same happened to Bovines to a lesser extent). We took Horses in and made them an extension of ourselves in order to augment our speed and strength (having draft animals just does wonders for human society). Cats, one of the most efficient and ruthless predators (kindred spirits anyone?) guarded our food supplies and acted as biological pest control, and are now beloved darlings that have been classified as an invasive species that kills hundreds of millions of prey animals annually. This does not even go into our latest genetic engineering efforts where we modify and create new life for fun and profit.

As you can see there is a lot of material to roll around in these kind of threads. Humans may not be as powerful sometimes, just a serious player in the galaxy through economic superiority or science, but that's not the real "Humanity Fuck Yeah" thread. The real deal is us having our way with the galaxy as we see fit. Murdering billions of xenos, or fucking them if they're hot enough, taking their delicious alien babies and eating them in front of their parents, mining their planets to the core and moving on, leaving nothing but dead rocks in our wake. We march on, our mantra singing through the stars:

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvlFvp8j6d8 '''GENOCIDE! MINING! GENOCIDE! MINING! GENOCIDE! MINING!''']

This song pretty much sums it up nicely; [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHomtMvxqWs]

==Xenos Pay Attention You're Next==
[[Image:B5_Earth_Cruisers.gif|424px|thumb|Our [[METAL BOXES|metal boxes]] will blot out the sun.]]
Our species thought we knew war. We built our civilization on foundations of honor and prowess, we were like a rapier: crippling our foes with small yet decisive blows. We killed our enemies yet we allowed them to surrender, there was no needless killing. That was before the humans came and they showed us the truth... That we were just naive children and that true war is won through unrelenting cruelty and spite. Despite our warriors' training, despite all our experience, still we fell to the innumerable waves that the humans sent against us. They burned our worlds, slaughtering our children in horrific ways using them to learn how to kill us more efficiently. After many blood-filled years, these Terran butchers arrived on our home and they transformed it into a corpse-filled landscape. I tried to take my life but one of these power-armored animals stopped me. As he leveled his vicious weapon at me I noticed his face for the first time. His eyes were filled with murderous glee and his mouth twisted into a sneer as he whispered three final words to me: "Humanity, fuck yeah"...

{{Topquote|Do they not know who we are, my brethren? We are the chosen of the Emperor, the scions of Terra. We are dominion and we are numberless. We are war itself and the death of all who oppose us. We are Humanity and we shall educate our ignorant foes as to the true meaning of that word!|[[Inquisitor|Lord Inquisitor]] Aedrick Mantel of the [[Ordo Xenos]], from [[Imperial Armour]] Volume 12 "The Fall of Orpheus"}}

In real life, there are people who claim encounters with aliens. Contrary to the popular trend here on HFY, the people who supposedly encountered aliens in real-life are often shocked or even frightened of them. In addition, abductees and witnesses stated the aliens had advanced technology beyond anything humanity has made that rendered the humans involved helpless against the aliens before being taken to their spaceships for experiments. But don't despair HFY, there are a few accounts where the people in question fought back: in one account a person was about to be abducted by an alien but stabbed them with a knife. Though the knife couldn't pierce the alien's skin, the resistance resulted in the aliens being driven off without abducting anyone. There was also an incident in which the would-be abductee ran inside, grabbed his rifle, ran out, and starting shooting at three aliens coming at him. One of them had to be dragged away by its compatriots. He hasn't had any xenos problems since then. Similarly, the Hopkinsville Goblin incident was when a group of people encountered some aliens that were harrassing them, and they responded by blasting them to hell with shotguns before fleeing due to the weapons doing nothing against them. In other words, if you're being abducted by aliens, fight back! Armed or not. Kick them in the gornacks! Gouge out their eyes! Bite them!

-- There was also a reference once on an infamous board to a story about an overweight powerlifter who was abducted, woke up and threw a few greys off him after breaking from restraints. Afterward, he was led down a hall where he passed out and woke up at home. I don't think he killed any of the aliens but they were supposedly the 4ft tall skinny greys, and he was able to punch one which flew into a wall, and the others retreated. He was then led into the hall. Source pending.

==Now with a song!==
Humanity<br>
Humanity

Humaniteh, fuck yeah!<br>
Coming again to kill some mother fucking xenos, yeah!<br>
Humaniteh, fuck yeah!<br>
Genocide is the only way, yeah

Aliens your game is through 'cause now you have to answer too<br>
Humaniteh, fuck yeah!<br>
So lick my butt and suck on my balls<br>
Humaniteh, fuck yeah!<br>
What you gonna to do when we come for you now

It's the dream that we all share<br>
It's the hope for tomorrow<br>
Fuck yeah!

Grox Burgers, fuck yeah!<br>
Space-mart, fuck yeah!<br>
Terra, fuck yeah!<br>
Grifball, fuck yeah!

Orbital drop, fuck yeah!<br>
Run and gun, fuck yeah!<br>
Commissariat, fuck yeah!<br>
Penal Legions, fuck yeah!

Fuck yeah!

Spacebucks, fuck yeah!<br>
Disneyverse, fuck yeah!<br>
Heresy, fuck yeah!<br>
Promethium, fuck yeah!

Assasination, fuck yeah!<br>
Killing, fuck yeah!<br>
Spacemarines, fuck yeah!<br>
Taco Bell, fuck yeah!

Rodeos, fuck yeah!<br>
Space ship and beyond<br>
Fuck yeah, fuck yeah

Buraeucracy, fuck yeah!<br>
Space ships, fuck yeah!<br>
Emprah, fuck yeah!<br>
Combat Drugs, fuck yeah!

Sly Marbo, fuck yeah!<br>
Sanguinala, fuck yeah!<br>
Premier Sanders, fuck yeah!<br>
Popeye, fuck yeah!

Capitalists, fuck yeah!<br>
Imperialists, fuck yeah!<br>
Fuck yeah, fuck yeah<br>
Simple deaths, fuck yeah!

[[Avenger Strike Fighter|A-10]], fuck yeah!<br>
[[Baneblade]], fuck yeah!

==Trivia==
"Humanity Fuck Yeah" sometimes refers to omnicidal maniac-level racism against everything that isn't non-powered and normal human beings (because, you know, a human with superpowers is not really a human, right?).

Readers may experience ocular bleeding due to excessive [[TVTropes]]isms escaping from humanity's natural habitats. This is a normal, if unpleasant side-effect.

Some great examples of "Humanity Fuck Yeah":
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/2709630/ Humans are insane]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/2710711/ Humans are insane again]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/2711290/ Humans are insane, still]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16727562/ Humans are insane (and also rapists)]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Humanity%20fuck%20yeah Every archived thread with the tag.]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5QLokGTdyg A reminder of what we at HFY stand for]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HumansAreWarriors Now available at TVTropes, Humans Are Warriors.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HumansAreCthulhu Humans Are Cthulhu]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MugglesDoItBetter Muggles Do It Better]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HumanityIsSuperior Humanity Is Superior]
* <s>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HumansAreBastards Humans Are Bastards].</s> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' WE'LL KILL YOU AND YOUR WHOLE FUCKING INFERIOR RACE, XENO!}}
* [http://youtube/OcPqk-O-fD4 Danger: Humans]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04854XqcfCY Humanity Fuck Yeah's anthem]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDaOgu2CQtI Humanity Fuck Yeah's OTHER anthem]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTBzgyQiqC8 Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.]

==Recommended media about humans kicking ass==
'''Note:''' While any media can actually bring a moment of a human kicking ass, it is imperative that such narrative presents humanity as a whole showing exceptional abilities to defeat super-powered/non-human adversity. For example, a book about humans slaughtering hyper-advanced alien invaders is absolutely "Humanity, Fuck Yeah". A book about World War 2 is not "Humanity, Fuck Yeah", because although it presents humans kicking ass and taking names, it is against other humans and there's ass kicking on all sides so that does not count.

Also, "Humanity, Fuck Yeah" only applies if humans are defeating super-powered non-humans through strictly technological means. For example, in ''X-COM: UFO Defense'', regular troops gunning down aliens is HFY, as are heavy weapons platforms (big robotic gun platforms). PSI troopers, despite being humans, use supernatural powers so they are not HFY.

Behold a list of "Humanity, Fuck Yeah" works:
* As much as humanity gets its ass kicked in H.G. Wells' '''The War of the Worlds''' there are moments where humans manage to hold the fucking line against '''hundred foot tall murder machines from Mars''', in one instance with the British Army knocking down a tripod with cannon fire. But the crowning moment must be the scene with the charge of the HMS ''Thunder Child'' steaming into action, destroying two tripods with its guns, and then ramming a third before sinking. The end qualifies as well: humanity ultimately manages to outlast the invaders because unlike them, our bodies have built up an immunity to the microscopic lifeforms that inhabit our planet.
* Edgar Rice Burroughs' '''John Carter of Mars''' series is one of the earliest examples of this. A Confederate veteran of the American Civil War finds himself on Mars and proceeds to kick everyone's ass, marry a princess, and become chief warlord of the entire planet.
* '''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHomtMvxqWs Xenophobia]''', a less than a minute-and-a-half song about committing Humanity Fuck Yeah with regards to Sci-Fi.
* '''[https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/ref/universes/jenkinsverse Kevin Jenkins universe]''' Humans are from a 'deathworld'. Lots of stories here. [Now in it's 3rd year of serialization, with 40+ chapters and 2 million+ words in the main storyline alone, there's a lot to sink your teeth into if you're into this kind of thing.]
* '''Independence Day''' (1996). This is a must-see film. "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!" Also Will Smith tricking an alien fighter pilot into crashing after his weapons prove useless, then personally punching it out and dragging its ass across the Nevada desert while bitching at it for ruining his holiday. "Welcome to Earth."
**Now having a sequel '''Fuck YOU ALIEN SCUM''
***Now kinda wishing we hadn't had that sequel.
* '''[[Starship Troopers]]''' novel by Robert A. Heinlein. The ''ST'' movie by Paul Verhoeven has humanity taking Humanity Fuck Yeah by the balls and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIGHCoVzqtk cranking it up past 11]. The novel is far more philosophical, but still includes copious HFY; it features the protagonist concluding that humans have a ''biological imperative'' to expand as far as possible, and pity any race of arachnid aliens that gets in their way.
* '''[[Conan the Barbarian]]''' from Robert E. Howard, because going hand-to-hand combat with a Cthulhu-like daemon-god and making it run away screaming in fear is the very definition of HFY. Remember that R.E.Howard and H.P.L. were friends, and many of the Cosmic Horror entities that HPL created are actually canon in Conan's universe, and he banishes them with brute force and axes.
* Incidentally H.P. Lovecraft, who was pals with Howard, got a few tales where humans beat back the Great Old Ones, namely The Dunwich Horror (elegan/tg/entlemen professors fight back a huge eldritch demigod), The Call of Cthulhu itself (badass Norwegian officer ramming Cthulhu's head with his ship anyone?) and the Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath (/x/ dreamer rallies an army of ghouls and nightgaunts to kill lunar toad-like abominations and then storms Kadath, residence of Earth gods).
* The '''Damned''' trilogy, by Alan Dean Foster
* '''ARK: Survival Evolved'''. Basically you are a “survivor” placed on an “ark” which is a giant space station island with dinosaurs designed to kill you, to simulate natural selection so that future humans can have a group of the perfect specimens to save future humanity. You make the dinosaurs your bitches, breach the system, and prove you are the Übermensch.
* '''Warhammer 40,000''', obviously, particularly when it comes to the [[Imperial Guard]]. Although admittedly, Humanity Occasionally Does Not Fuck Yeah here, but then again, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzPuK1vib_c here is the awesome].
**By 9th edition, not even a galaxy-wide [[Great Rift|gate to Hell]] has managed to defeat Mankind, in fact, [[Roboute Guilliman|the new boss]] has launched an [[Indomitus Crusade|all-out counter-strike]].
* '''Traveller'''
* '''[[Star Trek]]''' - yes, somehow. A note - the Mirror Universe episodes (TOS - Mirror Mirror, various DS9 ones, ENT - In A Mirror Darkly part I and II) in general are basically Humanity Fuck Yeah at it's best. In TOS-MU, everyone is more badass and horny, and mass killing alien scum who refuse to submit is the order of the day, but get told to make things better and more peaceful by our flawless prime universe counterparts. Does that sound like humanity to you? No? Good, because it's not because fuck that noise. Even their uniforms are more awesome (and sexy). ENT's In A Mirror Darkly shows the Empire at it's most brutal, starts with Zefram Cochrane '''trying the Vulcan salute, only to pull out a shotgun and shoot the Vulcan point blank!''' And from there, they straight up are attacking THE THOLIANS, and STEAL the USS Defiant from TOS's The Tholian Web! Many other shenanigans ensue. No less than later in DS9 confirms that hippy peace kumbaya is bullshit as in the intervening 100 or so years, M-Spock became Emperor and instituted weakness, and the Empire is predictably overthrown by the Alliance (a Klingon/Cardassian dominated political order) - and it's not just humans that are mass enslaved, but all the core races who were cowed or bros with humans and the Empire like the Vulcans and Andorians. See, conquest and HFY is good for the galaxy! But thanks to efforts of people who find themselves on the other side like THE SISKO, not only do the enslaved start a rebellion, but by the last Mirror episode, are looking like they will seriously win it. According to some books, this was actually Emperor Spock's master plan - cause reform to weaken the Empire, and lead to it's seeming death, which would make him one of the best alien believers of HFY of all time. Eventually, revolution will come, and the Empire is reborn as a sort of human-centric Galactic Republic - shorn of all the weaknesses but with an unquenchable thirst for HFY. They are last seen conquering the Breen and Klings or some shit - pure [[awesome]]. Hell, lots of REGULAR Trek episodes eventually are filled with HFY - especially anything involving THE SISKO, later era [[Mary_Sue|Kathryn "KILL THEM ALL" Janeway]], or Section 31.
** Also, [http://beka-tiddalik.tumblr.com/post/150425828285/roachpatrol-deadcatwithaflamethrower a tumblr thread of utter hilarity] showed that compared to Vulcans, humanity is an entire species of Doc Browns -- a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles tooling around in ships packed full of beyond-cutting-edge tech they don't actually understand very well. And constantly succeeding. When Vulcans have two warp cores, they experiment on one and save the other for a backup. When humans have two warp cores, they plug them both into a third warp core, travel to an alternate dimension, fight everyone in it for offending their moral sensibilities, steal ''their'' warp cores and plug ''those'' together, punch their way back here, then try to turn a nearby sun into a torus because that was what their initial scientific experiment was for and they didn’t want to waste a trip. That happened last week and we still have no idea what the torus sun is supposed to accomplish.
* '''Mass Effect'''. Only on certain Renegade playthroughs, though; Paragon is hippy dippy "live in peace with xenos" Federation bullshit (to be fair, xenos in Mass Effect are actually friendly or reasonable, with a few exceptions). Even just the backstory has only-just-then-become-a-spacefaring-species humanity fighting a widely-feared and centuries-old galactic superpower to a standstill, followed up by earning their respect to such a degree that they let us jump the queue to join their galactic council club (or letting the current heads of the galactic council club die in battle so humanity fills the power vacuum). Although is just in the first game; the villains you stopped from getting summoned arrive anyway and since mankind never dominated the galaxy only multiculturalism can save you.
* '''X-COM: UFO Defense'''. And '''XCOM Enemy Unknown/Within'''. Turns out humanity is the greatest hope the alien invaders have, and we're being tested to see if we are worthy of it (we are). And XCOM 2, because even when we lost the war, we WILL win it!
* '''Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann'''. ''BELIEVE IN THE ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU!''
* Gurren Lagann's precursor '''Getter Robo''' deserves mention, too. ''WHY DID THE GETTER RAYS CHOOSE LOWLY HUMANITY?!'' Also ''FUCK DINOSAURS!!''
* '''Stargate''', both SG-1 and Atlantis. Stargate is the most Humanity Fuck Yeah thing ever. A bunch of people extends Earth influence across the entire galaxy in less than ten years. When we manage to build the first real space combat vessels, it's too late. Job's already done, galaxy is ours. So we move to conquer the next one, with another bunch of people and a couple of ships. Entire races are wiped out by teams of five people armed with submachine guns.
**XSGCOM is this but up to 11. Earth gets an empire, hover tanks, power armor, and so much more. It's amazing. Also armor capable of tanking a staff weapon. It's amazeballs.
***Actually the more advanced weapons you get, the less awesome is. The scary part of SG1 is that the military-industrial complex doesn't even have time to get to par with stolen xenos tech. Humans conquer the whole damn galaxy by small teams armed with pragmatism and one liners.
* '''Pacific Rim.''' [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vU7XqToZso Ye Gods, Pacific Rim.] "Today, we are canceling the apocalypse!"
* '''Halo''', because being the [[Mary Sue|special snowflake race that can manipulate]] [[Old Ones|the technology of long dead, super-galactic, hyper advance aliens]] [[AWESOME|and yet still having the "Humanity first and only bitch!" personality, as well as standing up to (and winning against) a massive alien hegemony and then an omnivorous parasite in a war lasting nearly THIRTY YEARS gives the UNSC the honorable status.]] . Further noted due to the UNSC Marines (Whose personality is a fusion between Alien's Colonial Marines and Starship Trooper's Mobile Infantry) and because the UNSC built a NOVA bomb which is a petaton-exaton thermonuclear bomb that vaporized an entire Covenant fleet in orbit and the entire nightside of a planet, and completely SHATTERS another when it's detonated on the surface.
* '''[[Command and Conquer]]''' Tiberium Wars. Xenos scum come to harvest Tiberium on our planet, then find out they got played like a bunch of fools. More forces wouldn't have helped the Scrin, Kane has a motherfucking Scrin battleship he built '''when Bill Clinton was president''', and another crashed UFO chilling out in Egypt. <s> What the hell were the expecting, trying to fight a grandchild of [[God]]? </s> They were expecting no resistance because they assumed all life on the planet had been consumed by Tiberium. The Scrin "invasion force" had only come to Earth to harvest Tiberium.
* Marvel Cinematic Universe. At numerous points in the setting (read: every other week), everything from alien empires and planet-eaters to GODS come to Earth looking to squash humanity like a Warboss sitting on a grot. They’ve conquered/destroyed/eaten every species/planet/galaxy they’ve encountered up to that point. Humanity’s heroes fly up and kick them in the dick!
*'''GATE''': Thus The Self-Defense Force Fought There. Related to the above, but its other humans from a magical realm with mystical creatures backing them up invading modern-day Tokyo. Turns out swords and shields don't work to well against machine guns and attack helicopters...and then the JSDF proceeds to roll through the gate they came from and basically conquer the entire world on the other side...without a single casualty.
* '''Gears of War'''. A horde of inhuman killing beasts erupt from every human city and then later on our would-be 'fuel' turns out to be an ever-infectious virus of OMNOMNOM! which screws both of our races up. We came back, re-strengthen our forces and gave a response which includes the massacre of all three species including ours via mass orbital bombardment of lasers from SPEHS!, detonation of a bomb that kills by intense light and heat akin to a flashy nuke, the flooding of every cave and hole on our planet(by sinking our last sanctuary no less) and the detonation a fucking NEUTRON BOMB... all because we could.
* The '''Annihilation''' series. Book one love conquers all. It's a stupid name but the book is really good it's about a boy who figures out that he has psychic powers that grant him the ability to fuck over people's shit the 2nd book is where things get crazy. An alien race who are arrogant and want nothing more then the human race to be gtfo go behind the galatic alliances back and attacks a colony killing 1/3 of the population. That's when the humans go batshit.
* The humourous Poul Anderson novel '''The High Crusade'''. A hyper-advanced alien empire tries to 'ave a go at medieval England and get hilariously rolled over because EMP doesn't work on knights and longbowmen.
* '''Battle: Los Angeles'''. Aliens invade Earth and win at first, but soon get beat back by the Marines. And to give credit where credit is due, Battle: Los Angeles is one of the few films where the aliens actually use [[Reasonable Marines|''proper military tactics'']], rather than just zerg rushing us like idiots. Ergo, they provide covering fire, they actually ''take cover'', they perform ambushes, they use combined arms, they quickly pull their wounded out of harm's way and they properly ''counter'' enemy armour. It is like the aliens are an actual ''professional military force'', which makes our victory so much more legitimate and less like a deus ex machina copout.
* Peter Bergs' '''Battleship'''. Generally shit storyline; basically aliens come down to Earth to fuck shit up, and accidentally land in the middle of a global naval wargame.
* '''Factorio'''. The premise sounds weaker than most other entries here, but considering you start with nothing but a steam drill, and you are going to have to wipe the floor with the local [[Tyranids|giant bug creatures]], even the smallest of which is about the size of a Smart car, in order to expand your mining, smelting and assembling industries, it is pretty much '''GENOCIDE! MINING! GENOCIDE! MINING! GENOCIDE! MINING!: ''THE GAME.''''' Well, other than [[Dwarf Fortress|''that one'']].
* All Brotherhood of Steel Fallout 4 breakthroughs. The Brotherhood supports genocide of all the non-human abominations that exist throughout the wasteland. Ad Victoriam! The Minutemen kinda qualify as well for the same reason as the Rimworld example listed above - less on the non-human killing, but instead their storyline is about humans working together and taming the ever-loving shit out of the irradiated and mutant-infested swamps of Massachusetts (post-nuclear war, must clarify) to make the cosiest apocalypse ever.
* While on the topic of [[Fallout]], the Enclave are most definitely HFY. Using a modified virus to systematically wipe out any and all mutated scum that rove the wasteland like it's theirs is a prime example of how awesome humans are at causing mass destruction, and even if a certain tribal mutant was able to infiltrate their base and blow it up, the legacy of the human patriotism of the Enclave will always live on. In New Vegas, even down to only five [[Old Ones|oldfags]] and a snot nosed kid, they kick veritable ''ass''. Though this one's a little up-to-you, as the Enclave were a wee bit too enthusiastic about the genocide part of HFY for their own good, as they actually wanted to bump off most of the human population of the post-apocalyptic US too.
* The '''Muv Luv''' franchise. In 1967, all consuming aliens (BETA - Beings of Extra Terrestrial origin which is an Adversary of the human race) are found on [[Mars]] during the explorations there. They land on the Moon, and even though we stand no chance then on the moon, America fights back with fucking prototype SPACE MARINES, space fighters, and re-purposing exoskeletal lifters as power armor. While the universe proves to run on a lot of Humanity What The Fuck Are You Doing too (the first BETA Hive on Earth lands in Kashgar, [[Derp|and the PRC and USSR get greedy letting them get powerful enough, so they can harvest whatever goodies they have]]. When they try landing a hive in Canada, America says "lol fuck no" and nukes the Hive to oblivion with only minimal apologies). What makes it so wonderful is that even for decades, as humanity loses constantly, as literally children are forced to fight, the breathing HFY of everyone involved making last stands and killing wave upon wave of alien scum in [[awesome]] mechs or as infantry on the battleline is enough to make you shed [[manly tears]]. Even when we're down to less than one billion people, we do NOT, STOP, FIGHTING. And then to crown it, in 2001, we have our first major victory with a captured Hive. The main storyline ends with humanity just about ready to start the great reconquest of Eurasia.The snippets in Exogularity show how AWESOME Humanity has become with the break-neck technological advancement fueled by alien tech. I mean Shielding, Mecha Hand-held practicle beam weapons, ships that have length measure in 8KM-9KM and HUNDREDS of G-17B(Descendants of the Susanoo, which they use to GLASS BETA hives on Mars) and other shits. HFY indeed.
* '''[[Doom]]''', Doom 2, Doom 3, and DOOM. Because one human can slaughter every breathing thing on two moons and then in Hell. And again. And again. The reboot takes it even further by taking the whole "ancient evil being locked away to prevent it wiping us out" trope and '''reversing it'''. So you, the human main character, is the ancient evil while the demons are the horrified and massacred prison wardens. '''Fuck yeah.'''
* '''Pokemon'''. I mean, mere human children can capture and enslave fire-breathing dragons, colossal water monsters, poison-spewing pitcher plants, giant steel-bodied snakes, interdimensional space kaiju, and the literal creator god of all Pokemon with little plastic spheres and then force those peaceful fire-breathing, water-spouting, grass-grassing monsters to fight each other to the death while the kids... KIDS! just stand behind them giving them orders. Also these little kids are expected to go off on their own at the age of 10 to tour the globe for fun and profit while corralling the aforementioned monsters and beating the shit out of entire criminal syndicates singlehandledly.
* '''Space Battleship Yamato'''. Aliens (humans with green skin... they count right?) enter our solar system and we blow their spaceship up for no reason! Then our arse gets handed to us as they start bombarding our planet with meteorites using a tractor beam. However the moment a friendly alien race (hot chicks) gives us a power generator, what do we do? We use it to invent a destructive ima-firin-my-lazor-cannon, stick both items into a wrecked WWII battleship turned spaceship, send that one ship off on its own to go get a life-saving tech thingy from the hot chick aliens while single handedly blowing up an entire space empire armada... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fs7r9NUlAuI All with a kickass main theme]
* The space opera grand strategy game by Paradox, '''Stellaris''', can be played many different ways and allows you to go full HFY if you would like, you could even play as human fanatic purifiers. HFY is encouraged by one of the preset empires, The Commonwealth of Man, a xenophobic and militaristic faction of humans bent on enslaving xenos and dominating the galaxy. Refreshingly, humanity isn't actually special; if humanity wants to go full HFY, then they must work for it just like any other species.
* '''Rescue Party''' by Arthur C. Clarke. While there is no conflict in the short story it still counts. Hippie aliens arrive on Earth only hours before the sun will explode, destroying the planet. The mission of the hippie aliens is to try to save as many people and as much of the culture as possible. Normally the galactic civilization does surveys of planets every one million years for new species, but the human race did not exist the last time the survey was done – four hundred thousand years before. We simply evolved too fast for them! However, radio signals had been detected on a planet 200 light years away, indicating intelligent life had arisen. They arrive, but nobody is home. As they search for any living humans, we learn that it's typical for races to take thousand of years between the invention of the radio and space flight. The only thing they find is a communication tower beaming signals into space. They follow the beam with their FTL ships and discover an enormous fleet of rocket space ships (the largest fleet in galactic history), traveling into space without any FTL tech. Their tiny alien minds melt in the face of the sheer determination and steel balls Humanity possesses. As they watch Humanity flying toward their birthright of total galactic domination, the hippie aliens know that they are fucked.
* '''Worldwar''' by Harry Turtledove. A series of eight alternative history novels. World War II is doing well, and humanity is having a lot of fun with itself, until 1942, when the reptilan aliens known as the Race attack. They start off by detonating nuclear weapons in the stratosphere, creating EMPs, which most developed nations don't even notice, because primitive vacuum tubes don't care about that at all. Their technology is pretty superior to the humans', but humans have a knack for thinking so far outside the box that the box can't even be seen anymore, combined with the fact that they simply don´t give up, like, at all. Notable HFY moments include all human armies, including lots of nasty partisan groups pretty much halting their previous conflicts, and all descending on their new, common foe (almost makes you pity the invaders); humans destroying an alien spaceship with a motherfucking huge cannon (hint: Dora), humans turning the aliens into drug addicts and disrupting their whole culture with their ''corruptive nature'', an alien invasion on Britain stopped by chemical warfare, humans nuking a whole alien fleet killing millions, and finally humans driving the Aliens away and forcing them to accept a jolly human tradition: peace by '''''mutually assured destruction'''''
* The [[Transformers]] '''Beast Wars: Uprising''' series of comics and short stories covering the intervening years between the Generation One and Beast Wars cartoons is an interesting case, focusing entirely on the aliens and rather than depicting the conflict with humanity itself, it deals with the disastrous effect that being on the receiving end of an HFY story has on their society. Tired of being caught up in the Autobots' and Decepticons' various conflicts, humanity steadily grows more and more militarized and eventually kicks the Transformers off Earth and forces them back to their dying homeworld of Cybertron. Confined to a single planet with limited supplies of energy, Cybertronian society begins to unravel even worse than it was before as the larger Transformers are left crippled due to their high fuel requirements and begin using smaller ones to fight in proxy wars. The Autobot/Decepticon conflict soon gives way to infighting as the energy crisis exacerbates the already existing inequalities between the two factions various sub-groups.
* In '''[[The Elder Scrolls]]''' universe, [[What|humans are split into distinct ethnic groups with their own histories and unique abilities]], but all of them are badass. Man's first foray into the continent of Tamriel was the ancient Atmorans, who landed in what is now Skyrim and eventually became the Nords (basically fantasy Vikings). They had to fight against the Snow Elves (who they nearly drove to extinction with [[Awesome|only five hundred warriors]]), the dragons (who they also rendered extinct, but the gods, chief of all the dragon god who hated his own kids, had to help this time) and are still to this day locked in daily battles against bears, sabre-tooth cats, trolls, giants, big spiders and all kinds of other horrific stuff. Far to the south in Cyrodiil, the humans there (the Imperials, fantasy Romans basically) were enslaved by another race of elves named the Ayleids, until Saint Alessia (fantasy Joan of Arc) led a slave rebellion with the help of a man who was [[Rip and tear|on a constant and bloody never-ending]] [[WAAAGH]] against the elves named Pelinal Whitestrake (who it should be pointed out may have been a cyborg knight, complete with arm plasma cannon, from a horrifying future where Nazi elves won and very brutaly subjugated mankind which would explain his colossal hateboner for anything with pointy ears), and together they overthrew the Ayleids and forged the beginnings of the first Cyrodilic Empire (and there would later be another two under the Reman and Septim dynasties). In the western peninsula of High Rock, breeding programs between the Aldmer and the Nedes had given rise to a new race of [[Half-Elf]] humans known as the Bretons (fantasy French), who are said to rival and even surpass the Altmer in magical talents and even get innate resistance to spells. Finally came the Redguards (fantasy Arabs/North Africans), refugees from the sunken islands of Yokuda, the most talented warriors and sailors of Tamriel to the point of ''having sunk those islands with a sword technique that can split atoms'' and the only race in the setting with access to gunpowder. It is also said that the gods themselves favour the races of Men over the Mer (elves) because while elves see mortality as a cruel prison, men see "strength in weakness" and live their lives to the fullest free from fears of their mortality, and this is especially true for Lorkhan, who is said to have created men to be the "chaos" to the "order" of the Mer.
* '''[[Monster Hunter International]]''' by Larry Correia. A series of novels (with a pair of RPGs) where humanity kills all manner of monsters with the awesome power of modern firearms, tactical planning and keeping records of how best to exterminate xeno filth. The first book starts with the protagonist wrestling a werewolf and throwing it out a window to its death (though this does result in months of hospitalization). Xeno assistance is limited to individual exceptions that have proven their worth by mauling America's enemies for her. Uncontrolled xeno populations allowed to run amok are considered several times more dangerous than nuclear weapons (and this determination was made when people who thought nuclear weapons could ignite Earth's atmosphere in a chain reaction were considered reasonable scientists), yet humanity has managed to prevail against them.
* '''[[Monster Hunter]]''' by the folks at Capcom. Basically Monster Hunter International but more fantasy than sci-fi and 100% less xenos. Humanity here deals with giant monsters on the daily, not to mention the rare ones that fuck up the environment just by ''being there''. What do they do? Create an organization that's specifically about [[Awesome|killing/capturing monsters and turning their body parts into gear so they can slay even more powerful monsters]].
*'''Lego Mars Mission''' Yes, you heard me right. A little dark for Lego, which makes this even more awesome. The premise starts out peaceful, with some Astronauts showing up on Mars to mine some powerful crystals in order to solve a world energy crisis, like that fucking blue furry movie. The similarities end there. Eventually, these invasive green aliens get or had the same idea, and try to steal from the humans. Predictably, the humans diplomatically tell them to fuck off. The aliens respond like a bag of dicks, and start a fucking war. The astronauts quickly modify all their stuff to shoot lasers, capture aliens, crush them, and shit. The astros fight to a bloody stalemate as the amazing motherfucking guardsmen they are, until they discover the Alien hive. The astros launch themselves in a full scale assault on the hive, and manage to penetrate the deeper parts of it, systematically kicking the collective ass of the xenos scum, before tracking down the alien commander and brutally murdering him, claiming Mars for the humans as they fucking deserve. Vehicles that earn the HFY seal of approval include the Recon Dropship (A cool looking Gunship), Clawtank (a tank with a big ass claw to crush the xenos scum), and Crystal Reaper, a troop carrier with big saws to cut rock (or xenos) up.
*'''[[Victory Unintentional]]''' by Isaac Asimov. Humanity discovers that there is a xenophobic and supremacist (even ''more'' than us, if that's possible), hyper-advanced, sapient race living on the surface of Jupiter that (after a brief period of parley) declare war and their intention to exterminate us "lesser" beings. We, being a peace loving (cough cough cough) race, send three sapient robots (guided by "The Three Laws") to the Jovian surface to learn more, make contact, and try to smooth things over with the Jovians. The Jovians proceed to do everything in their power to destroy and/or impress the robots and intimidate mankind with its "inevitable doom" by exposing them to every deadly weapon, death-world-like (by ''our'' standards, and more importantly, theirs) environment and predator they can conceive of only to comprehensively, categorically fail to do more than mildly perplex the robots with their attempts and hostility. Eventually, the Jovians relent and send the robots packing to their ship with a hasty declaration of peace and a promise never to make war on humanity '''ever'''. On their way home, the robots ponder the meaning of the whole affair, and their conclusion? Well...read it: '''https://www.e-reading.life/chapter.php/81838/12/Azimov_-_The_Complete_Robot.html'''. Point being, we conquer an entire world of hostile, advanced, aliens that horrifically outnumber us '''ENTIRELY BY ACCIDENT WITHOUT EVER FIRING A SHOT'''. That's how bad-ass we are! Our tools/toys/probes '''INADVERTENTLY''' conquer worlds.
*'''The Tomorrow War''' A 2021 film released by Amazon starring Chris Pratt as the main character and executive producer. Some people compare it to Imperial Guardsmen on a primitive world vs Tyranids. While the film isn't perfect by most metrics, the best part is watching human conscript soldiers fight tooth and nail to fuck aliens in the ass. Two chads hold off the xenos filth while the rest of their squad escapes, a veteran soldier obliterates things with a shotgun, one guy kills an alien with a *LITERAL CHAINSAW*, and flamethrowers and .50 caliber machine guns are deployed en masse to send ET home. When the paper pushing morons in world governments refuse to track down and try to destroy the aliens in 2022, Chris Pratt tells them to fuck themselves and proceeds to exterminate the aliens with Dynamite, C4, and bioweapons. Particularly unique for a film of this time is that it also lacks the preachy and hamfisted politics that have plagued entertainment for the past half decade or so.
*'''Endless Space 2''' with the United Empire. In this human society, [[Imperial Truth|the pursuit of wealth and the belief in science and industrial development have replaced most traditional forms of religion]]. In the game, the Empire is the most industrious faction, but also the one that generates the most influence - just by being industrious! Propaganda, patriotism, and the greatest military-industrial complexes await you!

==An Alternate Take on HFY==
{{Topquote|Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.|Proverbs 16:18}}
{{Topquote|1=[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9g2r0SdEZc| I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species, and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment; but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer on this planet. You are a plague, and we...are the cure.|2=Agent Smith, ''The Matrix''}}

What started as a reasonable response to human suffering in fiction has blossomed into a cringe-fest of masturbatory autism that can be seen in the top page quote. [[Eldar|Haughty pride, arrogance,]] [[Imperial Cult|zealotry, blind idiocy, self-righteousness,]] and many more vices are enabled by such tooting of our own metaphorical horns. [[Cancer|The worst part is how this attitude spreads to other fandoms like wildfire, even if humans or aliens aren't interacting with each other or even involved in the setting!]] The irony kicks in when you realize that many of the idols that HFY memers get their [[Heresy|Idolatry on for]] would be disappointed at such vainglorious pride, [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|The Man-peror of Mankind]] would not approve! Even more ironic is how this attitude is exactly the same as [[Matt Ward|a certain fluff rapist]] [[Ultramarines|and his favored infallible, can't do wrong, and always victorious]] [[Mary Sue|mary sues.]]

The real crime however, is how HFY quashes new ideas, sucking the rest of the entire fandom down a creative black hole. Guess you can in fact get sick of winning in fiction all the time!

Basically put, what little potential HFY had has long since been stifled in a sea of mental masturbation over our own imaginary greatness.

So when would such attitudes be appropriate? In dangerous settings where such attitudes are backed up by much human suffering and bloodshed. In settings where we truly earned the right to be a bit proud of our survival. [[Warhammer 40K|In settings where humanity is beset on sides by hostile foes within and without, eternally under siege, with their very vices and souls threatening to rebel against the- hey wait a minute...]]

HFY tends to manifest itself especially terribly in fanfiction, where whole fandoms are plagued by a never ending slew of shitty fix fics that look at settings where humanity is already ridiculously special for no good reason and already has disproportionate influence on the setting and is already among the setting's winners and go "nah, humans need to win some more". Thus turning the sentiment into a code for "this fanfiction is shit written by some moron who doesn't understand how dramatic tension works" and turning HFY from a statement of pride to an ironic statement of mockery and a seal of low quality writing.

The worst kinds of these fanfics tend to be written by people who legitimately think that the [[/pol/|unfamiliar needs to be purged]] and it all starts reading rather disturbingly like Mein Kampf more than good literature (and worst of all, these fanfics will also have writing quality about as good as Mein Kampf, which is legendarily terrible and incoherent if you're unfamiliar with it), as these idiotic mouthbreathers project their "hurr durr group X is inherently superior" fantasies into their writing. Much like with FATAL or Racial Holy War or other works written by the inbred, these only draw further mockery upon discovery. Original works, even on /tg/, are often little better in this respect due to the community that springs around them acting like an echo chamber to drown out any kind of negative feedback (justified or not).

The most important rule in any story with a conflict is of course a need to maintain tension. If people win without effort, it gets very boring very quickly unless effortless victory and anti-climax is the whole joke (and most fanfic writers simply aren't funny enough to make the space opera/high fantasy equivalent of One Punch Man and probably shouldn't try to either), so when you start writing humans as simply piledriving everyone in the way without trying you end up making the humans more insufferable than pretty much any variety of Elf has ever been. Instead of badasses, you have turned our species into uninteresting Mary Sues who most people who don't have their heads up their asses will start to root against, much like how people generally start rooting against a sports team that always seems to win.

With no effort being expended, there's no reason to care about the struggle because there ''is'' no struggle to care about. Bad HFY forgets all this in favour of what amounts to masturbation via text and unfortunately (as Sturgeon's Law is a thing) most HFY fics will tend to be of the shitty tensionless curbstomp variety where humanity does nothing to deserve any victory it gets.

You can express how great humanity is, but always remember these few rules:

*Don't make everyone else stupid, this is not only a lazy means of making your favoured faction right it's also one of the strongest signifiers for a Mary Sue as not only are they always right, anyone against them is a moron and probably eats babies too. Do make humans suffer setbacks and make mistakes; outside of one or two special edge cases, nobody wants to read about a hero who is never challenged and never stumbles or fucks up.
**To quote an old saying "to err is to human", someone without flaw is more akin to a god (or God) than an actual person, so don't go that route unless the character is a god or God (whether you believe in a god/God/religion or not, that is a subject that should be handled with care). Push them to the brink of destruction and have them claw their way back up from nothing instead of acting as if the universe will bend over backwards for them on account of their species alone. And remember to give them humility as a result of whatever struggle they go through; they should be very much aware they're little fish in a very big pond.
*Don't use "human ingenuity" as an advantage; this trope is so tiresomely played out that it produces nothing but eyerolling these days, especially since it tends to be a signifier that you've created a planet of hats setting where humanity is the only species not forced to have a hat (ironic, since this is itself a hat). This is lazy and overdone so don't do it. If you -have- to, go with the historical data: humanity's hat on Earth wasn't developing new technologies all the time, but by winning through endurance. Earliest hunters above the Saharan line won by sheer attrition and endurance walking towards the prey animals until they exhausted, sieges lasted for years, and WW1 itself speaks volumes. This victory didn't come easy, victory by endurance is the '''most painful''' way of winning. If humanity is supposed to win, make them pay the price and describe the effects of victory on an exhausted human society.
**Elevating things like "pragmatism" and "brutality" in its place is just as bad if not even worse, because they make humanity look like a race of [[Tyranids|all-devouring monsters that leave nothing but destruction in their wake]] who need to be wiped out for the sake of all other sentient life in the universe.
*Don't force humanity into a hat itself either, saying things like "humans are good diplomats/warriors" is easily disproven by just looking at about a hundred randomly selected people so it's always going to ring kind of false to people in the real world. Do give people weaknesses of some sort, whether cultural or physical or governmental - some kind of flaw will help to make humanity seem human instead of efficiency obsessed robots. Remember: a racial hat is simply the result of ''averages'' fitting into the global-galactic niche. If Salarian artists (which *do* exist) somehow dominated their culture by chance and random luck in the universe of Mass Effect, we would come to believe Salarians are a race of smart artists.
*Do give other species nuance of their own. Just as you shouldn't give out a hat to humanity, you should try to avoid essentially typecasting the races in your setting without a very good explanation like [[Orks]] having their mentalities being genetically programmed or a species being an outright hive mind (Tyranids, Q'Orl, etc.) This is where [[Bioware|Mass Effect]] both shone and stumbled - many of the alien races in the OT wear hats without becoming Always Chaotic Evil bad guys to gun down or one-dimensional stereotypes that all think and act exactly the same<ref>To list a few examples: the aggressive hive-mind species of the Rachni are capable of diplomacy and even outright co-operation on technological projects with other races under the right conditions; the generic killer robots the Geth turned out to be a renegade Reaper-worshipping splinter of the mainline Geth Consensus, who want to reunite and co-exist with their creators as partners rather than enemies (though they're willing to defend themselves should the need arise); even the nominally Always Chaotic Evil pack of slavers and pirates that are the Batarians have relatively "normal" citizens but are forbidden to leave their space by their totalitarian government, leaving them to be represented almost entirely by the pirates, criminals and slavers produced by their fucked up culture.</ref>. [[Bioware#Mass_Effect:_Andromeda|Andromeda]] then dropped the ball by making the main antagonists a race of one-dimensionally [[Stupid Evil]] Dalek/Covenant knockoffs without much deeper characterization than "Religious, Assimilating Space Nazis", while the other (as in, ''singular'' other - compare to the dozen fleshed-out alien species in the original) are a bunch of overly emotional furless lizard-cat people whose nuance is "xenophobia vs xenophilia".
*It's ridiculous to assume that alien life evolved/was created (depending on the story and who you ask) along the same lines as us. Consider showing how humans are just as unsuited for alien environments as the aliens would be unsuited for our own. Oh sure, we can breathe oxygen, but outside any Earth-like planet that's just a liability. What good is that when the air on most inhabitable planets either has minimal oxygen or flat-out poisons us?
**However, do still try to stick to some universal biological truths. Do you really think any long-lived alien race would've survived long enough to be their planet's dominant species without some adrenaline equivalent? Do you really think natural selection is limited to just Earth? Do you really think that alien races became what they did without at least one instance of internal strife or warfare? Unless the rest of the universe has some benevolent omnipresent overseers to take care of all life and prevent fighting, organisms are going to compete with each other for resources and they won't be nice about it.
*Unless you're writing from a deliberately subjective viewpoint (in-universe propaganda, biased/unreliable narrators, and so on), don't give humanity any excuses or special pleading for its flaws. If aliens are monsters for eating human babies, then humans are monsters for eating alien babies. If humanity filling its planets with toxic smog is the bee's knees, then alien planets filled with toxic smog are no worse. The morality of an act shouldn't be based solely on the name of the species committing it. Try to be at least somewhat objective in the narration as long as it fits the story's tone and themes.
** Remember that exceptions to this do exist. Sometimes, genocide really ''is'' the moral course of action, because the alternative is either suicidal or so hideously unconscionable as to be even worse. For example: [[Orks]], [[Tyranids]] and [[Dark Eldar]]. The first two are impossible to reason with due to their genetically-hardcoded violent mindset (for the Orks), incomprehensible and predatory hivemind (for the Tyranids), and their entire method of reproduction being based around war/eating others (both). The latter subjects kidnapped people to incomprehensibly horrible fates to escape a fate worse than death at the hands of [[Slaanesh|their own folly]] [[Ynnari|despite having a way to preserve their own souls without torturing people]], meaning they don't even have the justification of ''needing'' to do terrible things to survive. Find someone who thinks they shouldn't be wiped out, and I'll show you someone who needs their head examined.

While these tips are just generally good for worldbuilding and story telling, they should always be taken into account by anyone who wants to write HFY without falling into the ubiquitous pitfalls.

<references />

==IRL==
{{Topquote|I'm a pioneer, I'm an explorer, I'm a human, and I'm coming. I'm animated, I'm alive, my heart's big, it's got hot blood going through it fast. I like to fight, too! I like to eat! I like to have children! I'm here! I've got a life force: This is a human, this is what we look like, this is what we act like, this what everybody was like before us, this is what I am, I'm a throwback. I'm here! I've got the fire of human liberty! I'm setting fires everywhere, and humans are turning on everywhere.|[[Meme|Alex E. Jones]]}}

In the most simple terms possible, real life Humanity Fuck Yeah can be found in Humanism. Without boring your brains out, this roughly translates as follows: Humans are the starting point for all philosophical and moral inquiry. Generally speaking, this ideology generally wants to improve the living standards of other human beings. In short, if you want to make the world an equitable and fair place that doesn't force humans to [[Imperium|create bullets in 17 hour shifts in 120 degree sweatshops,]] then welcome to the Humanism movement. Though lets be real, HFY sounds way better.

There is also [[Transhumanism]] which can be considered an evolution of Humanism. The gist of it is using technology to overcome human flaws (mental and physical) and to enhance what is already good or mediocre. A great example from 40k would be our good 'ol [[Space Marines]] for the basic transhuman (along with Primarchs and Emps as the ˝ultimate humans˝), while [[Mechanicus]] would be veering into post-humans (beings derived from humans as opposed to being them/us). Whether or not Transhumanism falls under HFY depends on how flexible your definition of human is, though admittedly - being a species that creates/spawns other species and upgraded versions of itself through the power of it's mind and science is pretty badass in and on itself.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Humansfuckyeah.png|Start of earliest saved HFY threads.
File:Soniamproud.png|WE ARE COMING FOR YOU!
File:1222851447080.png|The banner is from Star Trek, but it gives you the basic idea.
File:Humanlegacy.png|Fine example of how we at HFY think.
File:Colonel-quaritchsmall.jpg|HFY's official spokesman.
File:Hfy imp.png|The [[Imperial Cult]] is basically built on HFY.
File:The_pulse.png|Technology "saves" the day.
File:Terra_Is_Alive.png|Terra is a cruel matriarch. But her forge has made us strong.
File:Semen.png|Humans are more hardcore than most sci-fi insect races.
File:HumanityFuckYeah1.jpg|This is what we do to OUR home. Think your planet will fare any better?
File:The Courage of Man.png
File:Stabbed.PNG
File:Diplomat_1.png|Part 1 of /tg/'s longest non-ongoing HFY.
File:Diplomat_2.png|Part 2 of /tg/'s longest non-ongoing HFY.
File:Diplomat_3.png|Part 3 of /tg/'s longest non-ongoing HFY.
File:Diplomat_4.png|Part 4 of /tg/'s longest non-ongoing HFY.
File:Diplomat_5.png|Part 5 of /tg/'s longest non-ongoing HFY.
File:Diplomat_6.png|Part 6 of /tg/'s longest non-ongoing HFY.
File:Welcome to america.jpg|A good example why you SHOULD NOT fuck with humans.
FIle:RCO040_1556127678.jpg|Jesse James vs Predator ([[Awesome|Yes really, this is an official Predator comic]])
</gallery>

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDubMeNlSxc&ab_channel=DaveFloMi| Watch 3 men scare off 10 lions to get some food], [[Awesome|yes this really happened]] (note how they don't underestimate the animals).

Persistence Hunting with David Attenborough. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=826HMLoiE_o

Humanity, fuck yeah.

<blockquote>''Let me tell you about humans, using something I'm familiar with in anthropology. When a Shoshone warrior wants a pony, he goes to a herd, picks one, and walks toward it. Naturally, the pony runs away. The Shonone follows, day and night just walking, usually for three full days. Pony runs away, man just keeps walking at a steady pace. Finally the pony simply collapses from exhaustion after running away for days, and the man walks up and puts a bridle on it. That is the kind of monster humans are.''</blockquote>

HFY vs African [[Pokemon]], by Andrew Ucles (without Pokeballs, because fuck you pokemons). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJiZ2HgV5E0

[https://youtube/VXVmMB2Echs?t=90 Lex Luthor vs Superman as ranted by Dan Harmon]

StarCraft

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Archange1: Undo revision 1008419 by 192.42.116.179 (talk)

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[[File:StarCraft 1998-2013.jpg|400px|thumb|right|The 90's were a good time. From left to right: Terrans, Zerg and Protoss.]]
'''StarCraft''' is Real Time Strategy [[video game]], made by [[Blizzard]]. Despite being THE most balanced asymmetrical RTS ever and the South Korean national religion, StarCraft is most famous in [[neckbeard]] society for the "It's all stolen from [[Warhammer 40000|WH40K]]" holy war.

Long story short, there are rumors, denied by both Blizzard and [[GW]], that StarCraft was initially developed as a WH40K game, until GW for some [[Derp|retarded]] reason rescinded their permission to use the 40K universe (<s>like they don't want a part of the bazillion tons of money Blizzard tend to earn for their games</s>back then PC gaming was something only a handful of nerds did, compared to consoles, and Blizzard wasn't an established powerhouse, yet; 1998 was the year PC gaming started booming with HL, SC, etc.). [[/v/]] tends to accuse GW of stealing Blizzard's ideas, which sounds silly at first, until you see the current Tyranid design. Prior to SC, the nids looked very different, as in, they looked even sillier than the Space Marines do now.... until you then realize that the Zerg also looked really different pre-Starcraft 2, looking more bizzare and alien like the original Tyranid designs, whereas Starcraft 2 made the new Zerg very Nid-like (As the new Tyranid aesthetic had been established before Starcraft 2 was even announced officially) and , with things like segmented carapaces and draconic features in the new bugs, whereas the old Zerg were generally even more insectoid than the Tyranids of the time (Who were more giger-esque, rather then the weird dragon-dino-bugs we have now). And you wouldnt want to be a [[/b/|/b/tard]] who confuses the difference between the massive art and design shift from 2nd to 3rd edition that is clearly accidental in being after the release of Starcraft with graphical (and tabletop model detail) as neither species of alien locusts got any real design (non-crunch) differences since then, unless growing 4 more spikes is as big of a change as going from [http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gA0hnkRNbss/Tzu86RwIMWI/AAAAAAAABdE/IEgaPO5GkQw/s400/warrior_Metal_2nd.jpeg this] to [https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VV_PyFTrfRw/Tzu88DgylrI/AAAAAAAABdo/xoUWM6vz7SU/s1600/Hive_Tyrant.gif this].

The actual story behind this rumor is that Warcraft 1 was originally going to be based on Warhammer Fantasy and Blizzard was in talks with GW in the mid-90s to ask them for the IP, however, the deal simply fell through. The still young Blizzard had just closed development on a Superman game and the treatment by DC greatly soured opinions of the studio regarding the development of licensed titles, as the tough deadlines set by DC and creative limitations lead to a misreable working experience. GW on the other hand felt very iffy about a PC developer approaching them, as gaming in those days was primarily the realm of consoles like the NES or Atari, with PC gaming being a niche only very tech-savvy and dedicated fans dabbled in. Remember, this was before RTS and FPS were even invented with Dune and Wolfenstein 3D, respectively, the big games on PC of that time were simulators like [[Sim City]], RPGs like [[Ultima]], or the adventure games by Sierra and Lucasarts (Add to that that Windows 95, which revolutionized ease-of-use of a PC also hadn't come out yet). Both sides, according to Mike Morhaime, didn't enter the negotionations in good faith and parted ways on amicable terms since both Blizzard and GW just reached the conclusion that the fuzz wasn't worth much in the end. That Starcraft was going to be a 40k game is entirely false, probably with some people mixing up the Warhammers and then wrapping their heads around it as they saw fit.

To be fair, there is a lot in common between the Starcraft and 40k universes; but if you remove your fanboy glasses it's obviously because [[Starship Troopers|both settings are shameless rip-offs of]] the entire sci-fi genre with less than 0.1% original content - it's not like there weren't human space marines, ravenous, rapidly adaptable bug monsters, and psychic alien warriors before 40K. Deep inside your heart you know it to be true.

Besides, anyone who takes the time to play both games will immediately notice that the actual rules and gameplay are radically different, even when ignoring the fact that one is a video game and one is a tabletop game. StarCraft is very much based around the collecting and spending of resources, shifting army compositions, microing individual units, scouting, etc. 40k on the other hand has you pick out your army before a game even starts, uses randomized elements (dice), and most of the decision making is in how you position your units and engage the enemy. Yes, there is overlap, but a lot of that is simply because they're both strategy games. There is also a huge emphasis on scouting and counter-scouting in StarCraft, where gathering and denying information and outright deceiving your opponent makes or breaks matches, while in 40K like only two armies even have the ability to hide anything (and it's only a minor details, like whether your Deathwing deep strikes turn one or two), and denying your opponent any information is against the rules. Regardless of whether Blizzard ripped off GW, or GW ripped off Blizzard, or both, the actual gameplay experiences are quite distinct.

TL;DR: If you're a fan of 40k or SC, stop bitching about all that "stolen" shit. Doing it marks you as a fool, and by doing it you make all your fellow fans look retarded. 40k is a blatant Mega crossover fanfic, 90% ripped off from 2000AD, [[Dune]], [[Isaac Asimov|Foundation]], [[Doom]], Alien, [[Starship Troopers]], [[Star Wars]], [[1984]], Event Horizon, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperion_Cantos Hyperion] ([[Hyperion|not this one]]), [[H.P. Lovecraft]], [[Anime]] about [[Mecha]] and so on, all pasted straight onto [[Warhammer Fantasy]] anyway. Recent studies show that people are unconsciously "inspired" by things far more than we know and that it's possible to plant and predict "original" ideas from people down to pretty detailed levels, all the while they think they just came up with a new idea. So next time you want to complain, try to remember the last time YOU had a truly original good idea, and not one heavily influenced by the media you enjoy.

==The Story in Brief==
Starcraft takes place in the Koprulu sector (named after a prominant dynasty in the Ottoman Empire, go figure), a distant part of the galaxy where abandoned human colonies <s>are disrupted from their usual routine of civil war and internecine piracy</s> find new ways to continue with their usual routine of civil war and internecine piracy by the sudden attack of a race of alien lizard-bugs that take over and mutate planets to suit their needs, determined to infest the galaxy. Things only get worse when a bunch of stuffy psychic aliens show up, determined to destroy the aforementioned lizard-bugs - and not caring much if they kill humans in the process. Havoc ensues.

==The Races==
===[[Humanity Fuck Yeah|The Terrans]]===
====Terran Gameplay====
[[File: Best Space Marine Art Ever Made.jpeg|thumb|right|400px|Freehand paint this on a mini.]]
Terrans are the "jack of all trades" of the three factions. They use a combination of specialized power armor suits, tanks, fliers and mecha in battle, and are the only faction whose vanilla trooper is a ranged fighter rather than a melee fighter. Terrans are the absolute champions in turtling up and defending, and tend to have great counter-attack and [[Steel Rain|drop tools]], but on the other hand their defense is reliant almost entirely on units, which means they must leave parts of their armies at home if there is harass threat, while other factions can just spam defensive buildings. Their core buildings can actually take off and fly to new terrain to move the entire base, though they are slow as molasses. Their unique racial tactic is to launch base-annihilating mini-nuke missiles with the aid of a Ghost or Specter, [[Vindicare|a telepathic invisible sniper rifle-wielding super-commando]].

Starcraft 2 made the Terrans more of a glass cannon faction with a strong emphasis on combined arms, much more so than the other two factions. Most of their mechanized units have alternate modes for fitting different roles in your army. The stuff you have is mostly fragile, but punches far above its weight if used correctly. As such, Terrans tend to center around a frontline that they keep their enemies boxed in (in opposition to the Zerg storm of Acid/Spikes/Claws/Teeth and the protoss deathball) and defend that frontline while harassing the enemy backline and slowly advancing.

The main problem of the Terrans in competitive play is that their late game suffers from "win more" syndrome. Nukes and battlecruisers are such resource intensive overkill that they simply will not reverse a disadvantage. The Terrans have their biggest advantage with the unlocking of firebats and siege tanks, or when they first gain shuttles.

====Terran Lore====
Right around our current present in the Starcraft universe things went cyberpunk before hard veering into being [[Starship Troopers]]. The United Power League, later called the United Earth Directorate, is the latter and they began to genocide all other genres of humanity resulting very quickly in 400,000,000 deaths until suddenly deciding to gather them up the remaining 40,000 that were physically fit and sealing them into four massive ships along with cryogenically frozen sperm, egg cells, and cloning technology on top of it and sending them all into the Koprulu System to colonize it.

In reality it was more of a social and evolutionary (since many mutants and the first psychics were in the population) experiment than actual planned colonization. The result is most Terrans being somewhere between well-dressed lunatics, dirty space pirates, and rednecks in power armor (Starcraft 1 was almost entirely made up of the latter two, the third mostly disappeared or cleaned up a great deal by Starcraft 2...possibly because they already died in droves in 1's cutscenes).

Two ships crashed on the jungle planet Umoja, the occupants of one all dying leaving the other with a surplus of resources. They formed the “wealthy, democratic, heroic” factions (which you never get to play as). One ship crashed into the “desolate but rich” planet Moria forming the “industrious corporate” factions. One crashed on Tarsonis, becoming the “evil and roguishly heroic” factions (which you almost entirely play as). Specifically Tarsonis became the Confederacy, which was aggressive and resembled an Alabama version of the UPL. They skirmished back and forth with the other factions and put down insurrections constantly until encountering the Zerg and Protoss at around the same time.

In the original Starcraft, you play as a planetary magistrate assigned to the remote world of Mar Sara. There, with the help of local Marshall James "Jim" Raynor, you encounter the first attack of the Zerg, and witness nearby planet Chau Sara being [[Exterminatus]]ed by the Protoss fleet for being infested with Zergs; in your flight to escape the planet before the Zerg devour all humans, you are abandoned by the ruling Terran government, the Confederacy. This leads to you allying with the rebel group known as the Sons of Korhal, and turning on the Confederacy... only for the Sons' leader, Arcturus Mengsk, to backstab you by using the Zerg as a living weapon to overthrow the Confederacy, proclaim himself Emperor Mengsk of "The Terran Dominion", and abandons one of his own agents, Sarah Kerrigan, to the Zerg. Raynor, who was kinda sweet on Kerrigan, turns on Mengsk and runs off. By the Protoss campaign you learn that Raynor and his band of pirates have become the buddies of a diverse group of Protoss united to stop the Zerg regardless of the rest of their race’s bullshit politics, and he stays behind on a suicide mission to give the Protoss a chance to escape their dying homeworld.

In the expansion, Brood War, you play as a ranking captain in the United Earth Directorate fleet, subordinated to Admiral Gerard DuGalle, sent to investigate what became of the lost colonists and bring them back under Directorate control and pacify the Zerg and the Protoss. The mission was partially successful until the Terran colonists, Protoss and Zerg formed a desperate alliance and defeated the UED. You and the rest of the UED expedition force are ultimately wiped out to the last man by Kerrigan(more on ''her'' later) in the final episode of Brood War. In the Zerg campaign you find Raynor is alive and well, and bring his pirates into the aforementioned alliance before it breaks apart.

Novels and comics fill in the gap. The Dominion gets as evil as it can be, Raynor turns to heavy drinking, and a lot of small stories that don’t tie into anything bigger after the story ends occur other than multiple ones creating and expanding on the character Nova who becomes the secondary main Terran character after Raynor.

In the Terran-focused sequel, Wings of Liberty, you play as James "Jim" Raynor, leader of Raynor's Raiders. They're a rebellion group that seeks to bring down the Dominion and destroy the Queen of Blades (or well...sort of. Despite Jim swearing he'll kill Kerrigan in Brood War after betraying and killing his Protoss buddy Fenix, he now downgraded to saving her instead. This is mainly due to the lack of any other alive Zerg characters in the setting). Raynor builds up the strength of his pirate militia into an actual faction again, agrees to listen to his Protoss buddy Zeratul regarding some prophesies, then greatly reduces Mengsk’s political power and destroys his alliances by revealing information on how exactly Mengsk took power (The offical dominion version has it that Mengsk defeated the Zerg on the Confederate home World, in truth he lured them there with a psionic device and nuked the planet to make himself look like a hero, also using the opportunity to tie up loose ends by betraying Kerrigan and Raynor, leaving them to die, which, as outlined here, royally backfired as SC2 went on). He ends the campaign by helping Mengsk’s son attack the heart of Kerrigan’s Swarm and de-Zerg her like Zeratul told him to do.
Because Blizzard loves introducing [[Cheese]], the player gets access to lots of campaign exclusive stuff like stronger versions of each unit and campaign exclusive upgrades a ton of units. They featured a few too many units in the campaign with some being useful only for missions they were introduced, something fixed in later campaigns.

Terrans feature heavily in the Zerg and Protoss campaigns of SC2 as well. Kerrigan Zergs herself up again, but without any ancient gods mucking around in her brain (see the Zerg entry) after she thinks Raynor is dead. She starts fighting the universe again, coincidentally mostly through insane factions of cultists from both Protoss and Terrans, this time just to regain her strength then finds out Raynor is alive and rescues him. He swears to kill her again, then a few missions later he joins her in killing Mengsk. Mengsk’s son takes over and turns the Dominion into a more morally grey faction. The Terrans later all join up with the Protoss to kill the ancient god shit (see Protoss entry).
In the Co-Op Starcraft 2 content which take place during the Protoss campaign it was stated that the events are non-canon (since you can play as characters like Mengsk and Tychus who would be dead and characters like Alarik who are still enemies at that point) but the general events are supported by content that actually is canon. More lore is revealed in the paragraph-long text blurbs for cosmetic items as well as some short stories and comics. The general gist is setting up Starcraft 3 plots like Raynor’s chief scientist starting a Terran/Protoss cult worshiping a sapient planet, intelligent Zerg seeding Terran worlds and seemingly starting to slowly make intelligent hybrids, and Mengsk’s son setting up a more united humanity since the United Earth Directorate is still big enough to wipe out the sector and will eventually return. There is also a Protoss/Terran shared colony, a faction of renegade robots with humanlike AI, a faction of robot Zerg, and new factions rising in newly colonized worlds. Raynor is missing and his pirates have merged into other factions especially Mengsk’s son’s Dominion, so Nova is the main character now.

Most of the Terran aesthetic comes from Chris Metzen, far more than most Blizzard properties. As a teenager he apparently wrote stories and made art about some story about a cowboy marshal during the second American civil war, this time in space. Most of the ideas were recycled into Starcraft, with the exception of the main character who was split between Jim Raynor and much later the character Soldier 76 (the original character name) from [[Overwatch]]. So if you wonder why there is a Confederacy that is full of toothless hillbillies in space wearing grey fighting the blue guys, that's why.

The Terrans also feature the most hilariously underpowered variant of the [[Space Marine|Power-armoured soldier in space]]-archetype in all of Sci-Fi, where for some reason guys (and gals) in powered armour the weight of a truck are even less effective than a Guardsman of the [[Imperial Guard]] and this is decidedly not the result of the opposition being as batshit overpowered as in 40k, it's just fun [[Grimdark]] that the average infantryman's giant armour is about as useful for protection as a soldier's uniform during the age of flintlocks (while the guns firing on them are ''much'' better) and having medics around them which can magically heal injuries in moments makes them live over nine seconds in combat. There can a point be made that in-universe, the Marines are more or less conscripted militia that receive basic, if any, training and are acting more like a hyper-militarized police force and the suits themselves not really designed with combat in mind (they're outright stated to have the main purpose of providing environmental protection) since that's what the ships, mechas and other gizmos are for.

====Terran Units====
'''SCV:''' A utility exosuit used to mine minerals, transport refined vespene gas, construct buildings and repair damaged structures and machinery. This unique ability to heal mechanized troops makes them incredibly useful.

'''MULE:''' A mining drone introduced in SC2 as a summon from an Orbital Command. It can mine faster than a SCV but has a timed life, and mastering its deployment greatly helps your economy.

'''Marine:''' A generic grunt in powered armor armed with a gauss rifle that launches hyper-velocity spikes at people. Can take combat drugs that let it boost firing and movement speed in exchange for health, and in StarCraft II can take a shield that boosts survivability (which originally also would have included a purely-visual bayonet [[Derp|that fans complained about for some reason despite how the average Marine dies from drowning in Zergling swarms]] and got cut). Is notable for being the only starting troop that is a ranged attacker and can shoot air units. They can deal lots of damage in larger groups, especially after upgrades, but are very fragile and don't have the best range. Their flexibility and cheapness make them a core component of the Terran early game.

'''Firebat:''' Arsonists and pyromaniacs strapped into specialized powered armor outfitted with flamethrowers. They specialize in burning through hordes of lightly armored organic units such as Zerg infantry, and like Marines, they can also do combat drugs to speed up the burninating. Their suits were bulked up in the sequel, making them much more durable but taking up more slots in the bunker and losing their stimpack ability. Their lore states that the gases used in their flamethrowers leak into the suit and drive the trooper nuts, so if they weren't pyromaniacs beforehand, they will be after a tour of duty. They were replaced by the Hellion and subsequently its Hellbat transformation but are still available in SC2's campaign.

'''Medic:''' Power-armored nurses who can heal organic troops... and that's it. They buff the survivability of other troopers, but can't fight themselves. They had a few support abilities in Brood War like their optical flare that reduces their target's vision to the minimum while disabling detection capability, and the ability to purge any negative effects from friendly units.

'''Ghost:''' Brainwashed psychics who can telepathically cloak themselves for invisibility and use telekinesis to give themselves the super-strength needed to wield hyper-powered sniper rifles. Used as assassins and covert troops. Their special gimmick is the ability to target nuclear bombardments. They died too easily in the original and had upgrades that were too expensive to be worth using. The sequel gave them better abilities, while only requiring their invisibility to be researched, put them much lower on the tech tree while making the more durable so they were much more useful. The lore behind Ghosts might be some of the most [[Grimdark]] parts of Starcrafts as a whole; they are usually taken as children under the guise of a patronage for psionically gifted kinds scheme, but psionic children being abducted by mercenaries or government agents (also usually Ghosts, going full circle) is also anything but unheard of. The children are then subjected to training and routine memory wipes to keep them docile and compliant, as well as neuroleptics and anti-psionic goodies. And the tragic thing? Especially with the last part, you're actually doing them a ''favor''. Psionics in Starcraft, especially the stronger ones, are very often unable to control their powers and suppressing them is often the only way they can even function as people. Kerrigan and Nova had both the problem that they could not sleep because other peoples thoughts kept crept creeping into their heads. Add to that that the Government essentially employs you as its own personal hitman (or -woman) and will keep erasing your identity, or what semblence of it remains after training, if you talk back, step out of line but sometimes also simply for shits and giggles. Being a Ghost is not fun in Starcraft.
*'''Spectre:''' A subtype of the Ghosts, they were an attempt by the Dominion to create Ghosts from psionically inert humans and enhance the abilities of existing Ghosts. It was a mixed success. Spectres are generally better in combat, but also susceptible to psychotic breakdowns and difficult to make. Their exposure to an alien hallucinogen also brought them into Amons fold during the events of Legacy of the Void. They are campaign-exclusive to the Wings of Liberty campaign, where you can choose between them and Ghosts in one mission; both units are very, very niche in regards to their usefulness. Ghosts are better against light units and spellcasters, while Spectres deal more damage against armour and with an AoE Stun as their special ability; Terran Research can also give them a whopping 200 single-target damage spell, which is very useful during the final missions of the camapign where the game will throw a lot of high HP units against your base.

'''Marauder:''' An SC2 retrofit of the Firebat that swaps the flamethrower for twin grenade launchers; they specialize in smashing structures and armored foes, but are kind of crappy against lightly armored grunts, in a reverse to the Firebats. Shockingly, they are the most sane and socially well-adjusted of Terran infantry in spite of their enthusiasm in blowing shit up, possibly because Terran forces decided arming madmen with weapons that would be effective against their infrastructure instead of just the numerous cannon fodder they don't care about was a final logical straw to them.

'''Reaper:''' Murderers and scumbags strapped into jet-propelled power armor, armed with dual pistols and explosives, and deployed as suicide-trooper scouts and fast attack squads. Hey, is it just me or do the [[Moritat]] sound a lot like them? They are most often used to harass worker lines and damage your foe's economy, jumping up and down cliffs or rushing past defenders to get at the lightly armored workers.

'''Spectre:''' A Ghost upgraded with a psy-enhancing chemical, burning out the brainwashing mojo and giving them enhanced psionic attacks. Exclusive to SC2's campaign as an alternative to Ghosts.

'''Vulture:''' Grenade launcher-toting hoverbikes used as scouts and hit-and-run troopers. Can be upgraded to deploy spider mines which, instead of waiting for someone to step on them, suicide charge into nearby enemies. While replaced by the Hellion, it is usable in SC2's campaign where you can upgrade it to replenish its mines for a small mineral cost.

'''Siege Tank:''' Big badass tank that can also shapeshift into an immobile but more powerful mortar unit. The cannon in their mobile mode packs a decent punch and they're resistant (but not immune) to small arms but they are mostly used immobilizing themselves to fire their big gun, which has the highest damage of non suicide and non ability attack outside of campaigns [[Derp|and all in all means they aren't really used like tanks]]. It also has range that actually extends beyond the tank's line of sight so you need a spotter to take full advantage of it.

'''Goliath:''' [[Sentinel]]-like combat walkers outfitted for anti-ground and anti-air capabilities, later replaced by the Viking and Thor but available to be used in SC2's campaign. In the base SC game it suffered from trying to be good too many things and ended being good at nothing, starting in the Brood War expansion it was made into a dedicated anti-air unit. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90K_G4hyxCk| It also had legendarily shitty pathing.] When you get access to it in SC2's Terran campaign the campaign exclusive upgrades make it damn good at its job.

'''Hellion:''' SC2 replacement of the Vulture; a hyper-speedy land rover outfitted with a powerful flamethrower. Later became a transforming mech able to shapeshift into the humanoid exosuit mode "Hellbat" which functions similarly to the Firebat. In Hellion configuration, they are best used for quick drive-by into your enemies economy, where their flamethrowers will make short work of workers, but their speed also makes them surprisingly viable against groups of light enemies. Hellbats on the other hand are more of a tanking unit; they have decent health and their flamethrower will annihilate light units; they have quite low range however and move fairly slowly.

'''Thor:''' A humongous heavy artillery walker specialized in anti-air missile barrages. Initially had the ability to immobilize itself to briefly fire cannons that would destroy almost any ground unit, but expansions replaced that with the ability to switch between anti-air missiles for groups of weaker air units and big guns for single big air units. Is also infamous for its numerous [[Alpha Legion|canon conflicts with regard to its origin]], where you face one in a secret enemy lab [[Wat|despite it only being developed the previous day in the previous mission by your own chief engineer]].

'''Diamondback:''' Hovertank armed with twin railguns that rape enemy armor and is one of the few units that can fire on the move. Exclusive to SC2's campaign. While it sounds useful on paper, it's mostly good for the mission you find it in where your goal is to kill fast moving targets with heavy armor, something that doesn't appear elsewhere.

'''Predator:''' A robotic panther that attacks with an area of effect shockwave around it, but is [[FAIL|too fragile and expensive to consider using]]. Exclusive to SC2's campaign as the alternative to the Hercules.

'''Wraith:''' Standard Terran starfighter that also sports a personal cloaking field; fragile, but hits like a brick to the head against enemy air unit and a wet noodle against ground units. Replaced by the Viking in the sequel but is playable in the campaign.

'''Science Vessel:''' Non-combat space station that can penetrate enemy cloaking efforts, deploy protective forcefields, and coat enemies in a toxic radiological fog. In SC2, they gained the ability to repair nearby mechanical units too but are exclusive to the campaign as an alternative to the Raven, which you'll never take since the Science Vessel's repair beam is too good to pass up. Humorously, it's one of the largest units in fluff (to the point an entire mission is set inside one) but looks barely larger than a Siege Tank in game.

'''Dropship:''' Basic flying transport with no gimmicks unlike the speedy Protoss Shuttle or the invisibility detecting Zerg Overlord.

'''Valkyrie:''' UED-designed anti-air frigate that takes down masses of light enemy flyers with clusters of missiles, but can't deal with heavily armored vessels and is defenseless against ground units.

'''Viking:''' Anti-air flyer that can transform into a ground-based anti-<s>infantry</s>armor combat walker. Its lore makes it known for its a steep learning curve and high attrition rate claiming the lives of many trainees trying to master its transformation sequence, which makes you wonder how it [[Derp|became the new standard fighter jet in the sequel]].

'''Banshee:''' A cloaked anti-ground aerial bombardment VTOL that is flexible in both base raiding and dealing with enemy ground forces.

'''Raven:''' AI-controlled support craft replacing the Science Vessel as the Terran's detector-spellcaster flying unit, which can create and deploy various drone units for different purposes.

'''Medivac:''' SC2 replacement for the Dropship and Medic, combining both into a transport that can also heal biological units like a Medic.

'''Warhound:''' Badass anti-armor mech that was [[Cheese|too strong and unable to be balanced]] and was thus cut from the game, but still shows up as enemy units in the Heart of the Swarm campaign. Hilariously the thing was intended to break stalemates caused by Siege Tanks, those actually proved to be one of the few things that could counter it during tests.

'''HERC:''' Asteroid miners conscripted into the military. Armed with a grappling gun that can pull itself into the fray or up cliffs, and a highly specific immunity to Zerg suicide bombers, they didn't make it into the main game since the Hellbat fulfills the same niche of tanking hordes of lightly armored units. Exclusive to the Nova Covert Ops DLC campaign.

'''Widow Mine:''' The descendant of Spider Mines taking heavy inspiration from the Zerg's burrowing capabilities. You get a drone that can burrow itself and shoot airburst missiles over nearby enemies, dealing [[Rape|massive damage to clumped up enemies]]. However, they will deal friendly fire so be wary of engaging fast melee enemies near them.

'''Cyclone:''' Missile truck that can lock onto an enemy, firing a continuous volley of missiles while still being able to move as long as the enemy remains in range, making it ideal for "kiting" and dismantling slow armored enemies but it can't deal with masses of cheap units or heavy long ranged firepower.

'''Hercules:''' Massive and incredibly tough, but also very slow, flying transport. Unlike other transports, its passengers deploy almost instantly and will make an emergency landing albeit taking some damage if it gets destroyed. Exclusive to SC2's campaign as the alternative to the Predator.

'''Liberator:''' Flying artillery unit that can switch between anti-air and anti-ground missile barrages, making it sort of a lovechild between a Valkyrie and a Siege Tank. Unlike the Siege Tank, it can only rain death upon units inside a player-designated killzone and doesn't do splash damage. They can serve either as dedicated harrassers sneaking into the backline and oneshotting several of your opponents workers or giving heavy fire support for your army on the move, where their cannons will deal very heavy damage against all enemies.

'''Battlecruiser:''' Fuckoff huge warship armed with batteries of lasers and a mega-energy cannon. In LotV, it also gains the ability to warp jump to any point on the map. In the original they relied on a sorta big laser (despite the attack saying it was a battery of lasers) that didn't pack as much of a punch as you would expect. In the sequel they fire a barrage of small lasers that because they are a bunch of small attacks can't be reduced by armor (since armor can't reduce damage to zero). In both games it can fire its big gun as an ability which destroys most targets instantly. It is best used as an (expensive) stalemate breaker to distract your enemy for your frontline to advance (four Battlecruisers make very quick work of any base if left undisturbed) or as a support unit that can delete single critical units during an encounter (usually targets like Collossi and Ravagers).
* SC2 has a few missions with a version called the Gorgon, the biggest and most powerful ship used by the Terrans. When first fought in Heart of the Swarm they are immune to all conventional attacks and abilities (even from Kerrigan). The only way to destroy them is to use a nest of full Scourges. You sorta get control of them in a DLC Terran campaign where you have a calldown ability that sends Gorgons in a straight line to shoot everything in their path. They aren't indestructible in this level but they have more than six times as much health, double the armor, more than triple the firepower of a normal battlecruiser and as much range as a Siege Tank. It's easy to see why you don't get to directly control these monsters.

====Factions====
'''Terran Confederacy (defunct):''' One of the initial Terran powers in the Koprulu Sector, they are ostensibly modeled after the Confederate States of America down to using its battle flag to represent itself. A [[High Lords of Terra|corrupt, decadent and feudalistic]] power from Tarsonis, they are aggressive against their neighbors and deal with dissidents using excessive force, such as the nuking of Korhal, which ended up being their undoing. Despite being overthrown by Arcturus Mengsk, Confederate holdouts continue opposing the Dominion or sell their services as mercenaries. They were known to have conducted experiments on Zerg to use them as potential bioweapons and on psionic humans to turn them into Ghosts, [[FAIL|both of which were turned against them by Mengsk.]]

'''Umojan Protectorate:''' Another one of the initial Terran powers in the Koprulu Sector, [[Tau|they control the smallest number of planets and rely on highly advanced technology]] over mass conscription or material wealth. Opposing the militaristic Confederacy, they aided the father of Arcturus Mengsk and later his Sons of Korhal rebel group, until they realized that Mengsk was no better than the Confederates and withdrew support. They are willing to cooperate with his son, Valerian Mengsk, who is much less of a power hungry madman that his father is.

'''Kel-Morian Combine:''' The last of the initial Terran powers in the Koprulu Sector, they own many planets rich in resources and function more like a corporation than a country. Despite being brought low by the Confederacy, they nevertheless continued amassing wealth and remaining neutral, even when the UED entered the fray. Lacking a large military force, they rely more on subterfuge and diplomacy over brute force, paying off rivals to leave them alone and even hiring pirates and mercenaries for more underhanded work. After the games, they are looking to contest the now weakened and still recovering Dominion for territory.

'''Terran Dominion:''' The main antagonistic Terran faction replacing the Confederacy, it was formed by charismatic ex-Confederate officer Arcturus Mengsk after overthrowing the Confederacy in revenge for assassinating his family and nuking his homeworld. Revealing himself to be no less tyrannical than the Confederates he overthrew, Mengsk turned the Dominion into a strong but dystopian empire, where his propaganda laden speeches are played regularly and citizens live in fear of being resocialized or conscripted for [[1984|wrongthink]]. Ultimately, Arcturus was overthrown by Jim Raynor and Sarah Kerrigan, and his son Valerian took over his position as Emperor, repealing many oppressive laws and introducing many social reforms to show that he isn't a tyrant like his father, most notably turning the military into a volunteer force rather than relying on resocialized criminals and conscription. The sigil of the Dominion and the Sons of Korhal before that resembles an arm holding a whip, which became a bit more abstract in Starcraft 2.

'''United Powers League (defunct):''' The ruling government of Earth, they were [[Imperium|a fascist, atheist one world government]] [[Nazi|obsessed with human purity]] and [[Inquisition|led many bloody purges]] against dissidents, cyborgs, mutants and others deemed too degenerate from the human form that were covered up by the media. They kickstarted the Terrans' story when one UPL scientist, certain of new resources outside the solar system, collected 4 colony ships worth of prisoners and sent them to colonize an outlying planet. However, the ships [[Not As Planned|missed their destination]] and crashed in the Koprulu sector, their passengers forming the major Terran powers in the sector.

'''United Earth Directorate:''' After knowledge of the Zerg and Protoss reached the United Powers League on Earth, the squabbling factions decided to band together against the potential xenos threat. They sent an expedition fleet to the Koprulu sector with the intent to subjugate the Terrans under the UED's banner, establish control over the Zerg and use them to purge the Protoss. Through some clever tactics and brute force, they managed to overthrow the Terran Dominion, enslave the new Zerg Overmind and usurp Kerrigan's control over majority of Zerg forces and beat back the Protoss. Only a desperate alliance between the Terrans, Protoss and Kerrigan managed to defeat the UED before Kerrigan betrayed her allies, then finished off the UED expedition fleet when they in turn allied with the angry Terrans and Protoss against her. The remaining UED forces, now stuck in the Koprulu sector, have been absorbed into the Dominion or became mercenaries, and the main UED government continues to plot its next move in the background. They are hinted to have highly advanced technology that they didn't bring to the Koprulu sector due to...BEING TOO ADVANCED. To the point they had to use the same type of equipment the Terrans use because there was absolutely no facilities in the Koprulu Sector that would've maintained their own tech.

====Terran Characters====
'''James "Jim" Raynor''': The main protagonist of the faction and the players avatar in the Terran Campaign of Starcraft 1 and Wings of Liberty. An Ex-Convict and veteran of several corporate wars between the Confederacy and the Kel-Morian mining combinate, who, by the merit of being the only guy left who could hold a gun, was named Confederate Marshal of the Tatoonine-expy planet of Mar Sara. Had an overall decent run as Marshal, but he found himself stuck between the Zerg, who came to nom his planet and the Protoss which arrived to [[Kryptman|glass the planet to deny it to the swarm.]] As the Confederacy abandoned him, he turned to the Sons of Korhal under Mengsk for aid, which started his stunt into being a rebel. When Mengsk stabbed him and Kerrigan in the back, he seceded with his squad from the Sons, founding Raynor's Rangers to continue the rebellion, this time against the Dominion, only for him to be backstabbed ''again'' by Kerrigan when they drove out the UED during the Brood War campaign. SC2 changed his character in various ways, not all of which were well received. The most divisive change was his sudden attraction to pre-Zergification-Kerrigan, which felt to many to come out of nowhere (mostly because Blizzard is Blizzard, they had outsourced much of this background to tie-in novels) and a bit misplaced; to say the least, as he had vowed that he would be the man to kill her once the time comes at the end of Brood War. He starts off Wings of Liberty as being throughly miserable due to all the backstabbing and ends the first chapter of SC2 being reunited with his girlfriend and spending the other chapters of SC2 being mostly moral support for Kerrigan and Artanis. Character-wise, he is somewhat of a disgruntled veteran who somehow always ends up being where shit is going down ''hard'' and just throughly tired of everything by the end of it. However, he is a good leader and a true friend to those he likes and hardly ever dishonest, even when it's to his own detriment (as seen with the various times he has been betrayed by his closest allies). He disappears from the story at the end of Legacy of the Void with Kerrigan to.... somewhere. We're not quite sure. But it probably involves copious amounts of [[/d/|extradimensional sex.]]

'''Arcturus Mengsk''':The ice-cold pragmatic leader of the Sons of Korhal and later the Terran Dominion, the largest of the four Terran nations. If you forgot who the other three were, don't worry, Blizzard did too. His backstory was that he was the scion of a noble family on Korhal (hence the name) that got killed when his father pissed off the Confederacy. Ironically (or not so ironically, as we'll see in a couple sentences), Kerrigan was the one who killed his family. He was already kind of a scumbag at the start of SC1, recruiting most of his allies at gunpoint; Raynor was left with the choice of either joining him or be murderfucked out of this plane of existence by the combined might of the Protoss and Zerg, Duke was literally recruited at gunpoint. Later on, he found a bunch of psionic gizmos that he could use to lure the Zerg to the Confederate homeworld of Tarsonis (and accepting Billions of civilian casualties as collateral), used them despite the strong opposition from Kerrigan, Raynor and Duke to this plan and succeeded - only for him to betray all of his allies then and there, leaving Kerrigan and Raynor to die on Tarsonis for his own petty revenge. He then collected the fractured Confederate military to found the Dominion in its stead, with him as military dictator no less, and not that much better than the Confederacy when it comes to his policies. During the Brood War, his six months in the sun came to a sudden end when the UED arrived on the scene and he only survived because Raynor of all people saved his ass. After the UED's expulsion from the Koprulu sector, he promptly reestablished his Dominion and mainly serves as the friendly face of Dominion Propaganda during the Wings of Liberty campaign. Despite being supposedly one of the big bads of Starcraft, he actually never gets all that much screentime, especially in Starcraft 2, where his most memorable moment might actually be his death, being impaled by re-Zergified Kerrigan and then having a psionic bomb implanted in him.

'''November "Nova" Terra''': If Kerrigan is Starcraft's Fap-Bait number 1, Nova very closely follows at number two. Nova is a bit of an interesting tidbit in the Starcraft story because the game that was supposed to bring her to the forefront never came out. She was conceptualized as the protagonist of the third-person-shooter Starcraft: Ghost, first announced in 2002 and then cancelled in 2005. It even had its own cinematic trailer. She later made a reappearance in Wings of Liberty, where she warns Raynor about Gabriel Tosh and his true intentions (and also gives him the knowledge to create Ghosts along the way, funny how she betrays her own government and never faces any punishment for it). Due to being a hot blonde, there was instant fan demand for more of her and they got more of her as Starcraft 2 went on, eventually being pushed to main character level in her own standalone campaign for Starcraft 2 that wraps up some of the loose ends that Legacy of the Void left behind. She has gotten a crapload of supplemental material for such a minor character that expanded on her (actually quite tragic) backstory. Her family was murdered as a result of some political intrige in the Confederacy. She killed the murderers right back in a psionic explosion, where it turned out that was only second to Kerrigan in Psionic potential. Now, before you, dear reader might think this pushes her into Mary Sue-territory, this comes with the serious downside that she, unlike lesser psionics, could not stop reading and hearing other peoples thoughts, which made her very dependent on a drug dealer, who kept her compliant with a device to suppress her psionic potential and abused the fuck out of her. Later on, she escaped her boss and made it to the Ghost Academy of the Confederacy, who routinely subjected her to mindwipes to erase her identity. From then, she stayed a hapless victim of the people in charge, be it the Confederacy, the UED or Mengsk who kept her as their most skilled assassin in their backpocket. Little of that complexity or interesting stuff remains in the games however, where she is a very bland, forgettable villain that throws edgy one-liners (not even [[Avatar: The Last Airbender|Grey DeLisle aka Princess Azula can save her character]] ) and an even blander protagonist in her own very mediocre campaign.

'''Matthew Horner''': Goody two-shoes idealist right hand of Raynor in Wings of Liberty. Despite his kinda bland exterior, he proves that still waters can reach really deep. For one, he basically managed Raynor's Raiders while his boss drank his worries away, two, he is a kickass commander with the skill to boot, and third, he ended up accidentally being married to an insane mercenary warlord as the prize of a poker game. Other than that, he serves as the ever idealistic, morally upstanding angel on Raynors shoulder, in contrast to Tychus Findlay, who plays the devil. Ends up becoming the Commander-in-chief of the reformed Dominion after Starcraft 2.

'''Rory Swann''':

'''Gerard DeGalle''': Main commanding officer of the UED expeditionary fleet, he ends up falling under the psychic influence of Samir Duran (a being pretending to be the leader of Confederate remnant partisans) which costs him the life of his subordinate and close friend, Alexei Stukov. After he gets his ass handed to him by Kerrigan after a last-ditch alliance between him, Mengsk and Artanis, he commits suicide after writing a last letter to his family. Neither the letter, nor the remnants of the expeditionary force make it back to Earth.

'''Valerian Mengsk''': Arcturus's son who luckily happens to have none of the colossal asshole genes. In fact, he tries to be more of a reasonable leader than his father, especially after being forced to succeed the role of Emperor of the UED.

'''Edmund Duke''':

'''Tychus Findlay''': One of Raynor's partners way back in the day as the "Heaven's Devils". Got arrested during one raid gone wrong and was locked up in cryosleep until such a point where Mengsk decided to wake him up use him as a mole within Raynor's ranks (and his personality meant that a cover story of breaking free by himself would totally make sense) and to kill Kerrigan. Depending on who you ask, he's either a scumbag only looking for his own personal benefit or thug with a heart of gold, with the most fiercely debated part of Wings of Liberty being his death - he was either a douchebag who kept his own self-interest above all else and potentially screw the entire universe sideways by killing Kerrigan, or he took one for the team because he just wanted Raynor to be happy and realized that he was screwed either way. There are pointers and hints in the Wings of Liberty Campaign that support both ends of this theory and we best it at that.

===[[Tyranids|The Zerg]]===
A race of alien space-locusts armed with biological weaponry, the Zerg travel from world to world, killing all independent life and assimilating its genetic code in order to produce new strains and species of Zerg, all in hope of achieving genetic perfection. In their wake, they infest worlds, terraforming them to sustain the Zerg's constant expansion of its terrible Swarm. Individually sentient, but linked by a crude telepathic network, all Zerg are bound to the will of a singular sapient will, who use this [[Hive Mind|hive-mind]] to enforce their dominance and command their legions as extensions of themselves.

It was eventually revealed though, that the Overmind's actions were not solely to OMNOMNOM delicious genetic information of the protoss like their [[Tyranid|voracious cousins]], which the Zerg could probably give a run for their money if it wasn't for the difference in galactic wide numbers, but as his way of opposing a Xel'Naga named Amon by creating a force powerful enough to resist them. This all culminated with the creation of Kerrigan(we're getting to her, hang on...), one who could freely control the Zerg like the Overmind. It should be noted that he still wanted the zerg to eat everything, but not if it means Amon will just take control of them and dispose of them afterwords. The Overmind "tricked" the protoss into killing him to get Amon out of the zerg hive-mind.

There is also a subsect of Primal Zerg, which are, as implied, the Zergs original form; a collection of carnivorous animals hailing from a Death World at the edge of the known Galaxy. Their ability to directly and quickly absorb genetic traits and incorporate it into their own DNA (i.e. big Zerg with claws eats small Zerg with spikes, what makes the big Zerg grow spikes when it consumed the smaller Zerugs flesh) was what got the Xel'Naga interested in them in the first place. The Primal Zerg, in contrast to their swarm cousins, are highly indivdualistic and put a strong emphasis on evolutional competition (less Darwinistic and more Smithian), to the point that they considered being kept on a psionic leash via the Overmind to be sacriligious.

Zerg are the "fast 'n' flimsy" faction; cheap to get up and running, very easy to spam units for, but the absolute squishiest of the three factions. Zergs rely on drowning enemies under wave after wave of cheap, quick-moving troops, expending their resources faster than any other faction because they're certain to die anyway. Unlike Terrans or Protoss, Zergs grow their bases quite slowly, as they have to sacrifice basic workers to create new buildings, and they can only grow buildings on a specialized, slowly-growing terrain mat they produce called "The Creep". On the other hand as their base buildings are very cheap compared to other factions, and also double as their unit-production buildings (with all others being "unlocks" for certain units or upgrades), Zergs are encouraged to expand faster and wider, generally having more resource-harvesting bases. This also corresponds to their ability to switch their army production from one composition to another in almost an instant, while for example if Terran wishes to start producing mechs instead of massed infantry he needs to build a lot of factories first, which takes resources and most importantly time.

In competitive play the Zerg are generally regarded as the baseline against which the others are compared. They are consistently good. They are the fastest of the three in terms of responding to immediate unit demands and their units don't tend to need micromanagement. Relative to the Zerg, the Terrans have a stronger midgame, and the Protoss are the kings of endgame if they can form their deathball.

In the original Starcraft, and Brood War, you play as a Cerebrate; a massive psionic maggot-thing that is second in the Zerg's mental hierarchy only to the Overmind itself. You are charged with protecting and serving the Overmind's latest and greatest creation; the Queen of Blades, a human Ghost (psychic assassin) named Sarah Kerrigan(told ya we'd be getting back to her!) whom they captured and assimilated into the Swarm instead of just eating her. After spending some time helping Kerrigan grow into her powers, the Overmind tasks you with invading the Protoss homeworld of Auir so he can manifest physically on the planet. When the Overmind is destroyed at the end of the first game, in Brood War, you play the only Cerebrate to remain loyal to the Queen of Blades, helping her in her quest to take total dominion over the Swarm - up to and including destroying an attempt to create a second Overmind. The campaign ends with you taking back Char and kicking the collective asses of the Dominion, the UED, and Protoss off the planet. The Queen of Blades is also notable for her combat heels which do FUCKING NOTHING as well as her bony "wings" which in the first game produce a whipping noise and cause things to blow up into sprays of gore and in the second do all of jack and shit because somehow she can fly in literally only one scene which they seemingly do nothing to cause; maybe they're hollow and full of pressurized Vespene or some shit.

In the Zerg-focused sequel, Heart of the Swarm, you play as Kerrigan, the Queen of Blades, and only surviving zerg character from sc1 (Duran was something else) who voluntarily rejoins the Swarm to destroy the Dominion and to prepare for the coming of Amon. Kerrigan can be customized with different abilities which makes her really broken, and if she dies she can just be brought back at a hive cluster. All your units, non-campaign exclusive at least, have options for campaign exclusive abilities you can switch out, and you'll get the option of one other campaign exclusive upgrade for each of the main units that can't be switched out

====Zerg Units====
'''Larvae:''' The basic form of all Zerg, a squirming maggot-thing that is produced at your capital building (Hatchery/Lair/Hive) and which is mutated into all of your individual units. Because of this, Zerg are unique in that they generally require multiple capital buildings in order to be able to really pump out troops at an accelerated rate.

'''Creep:'''This counts, although it isn't exactly a unit. Creep is a purple slime that Zerg organisms subsist from, being put out by most of their structures as well as decicated organisms, called Creep Tumors. In-game, it's the Zergs version of the Protoss power field. Zerg units that walk on it move and regenerate their health faster. Sprading Creep is also a crucial element of a Zerg Players macro; Creep Tumors provide vision to the player and Protoss and Terran buildings cannot be placed on Creep. Creep is also a neutral force in Zerg vs Zerg matchups, often summarized by the motto "Creep is Creep", meaning that Creep will give its benefits to any Zerg player, not just the player who originally placed it down.

'''Drone:''' The worker unit of the Zerg. Gathers minerals and vespene gas. Is also physically mutated into all Zerg structures, so Zerg as a faction are unique in a) the cost and time needed to erect structures (first you gotta mutate a larva into a drone, then a drone into a structure), and b) the high turnover rate of their worker units.

'''Overlord:''' A kind of secondary worker unit, the Overlord is a slow-moving flyer and one of the few "sapient" breeds of Zerg, reinforcing and broadcasting the will of the Overmind to lesser strains. As such, the Zerg player needs to <s>spawn more Overlords</s>pump these guys out continually in order to boost up their population cap, letting them produce larger swarms. They also double as detectors against invisible units and transports... at least, in the first game; in StarCraft II, you need to choose between keeping them as transports or upgrading them into '''Overseers''' to make them detectors again.

'''Zergling:''' Basic melee trooper, a six-limbed raptor-thing that is fast moving and hits hard, but can't take a lot of damage. Incredibly cheap, fast-developing, and spawns 2 to the larva; the term "Zerg Rush" comes about from the fact that a good Zerg player can easily overwhelm a less-skiled player in the early game by just spamming zerglings. In StarCraft II, they can also be mutated into '''Banelings'''; living acid bombs used for suicide strikes.

'''Hydralisk:''' A weird mishmash of a xenomorph, a snake and a giant mantis, this is the most iconic Zerg unit. Despite the fuck-off huge claws, it's actually your basic ''ranged'' trooper, shooting organic railguns mounted in its head at people. Can be evolved into a creature called a '''Lurker''', which was the only burrowing Zerg unit that could attack whilst burrowed until StarCraft II, but on the downside can ''only'' attack whilst burrowed and only attack ground units. Generally speaking, Hydras are the backline of most Zerg armies; they hit hard and have decent range, but can't take a beating. They're also decent counters against flying units that don't specialize in dealing with masses of light units (Think Void Rays and Banshees).

'''Queen:''' A support unit that changes rapidly between the first game and the sequel. The first game depicts the Queen as a flying support unit that can spray a slowing, invisibility-cancelling sticky web over areas, infest enemies with a fog-of-war nullifying parasite, implant a parasitic embryo that insta-kills the host after a timer, and corrupt a Terran Command Center so it produces Infested Terrans, but can't attack (don't bother with this, you need to damage but not destroy building and the Infested Terrans are too expensive and die too easily). The second game reimagines them as a slow-moving base guardian that can spread the Creep, heal Zerg units & structres, and beat shit up that gets too close.

'''Roach:''' A secondary ranged trooper and alternative to the Hydralisk introduced in StarCraft II. Spews acid, dealing less damage than the Hydralisk but is much tankier and regenerates at stupid speeds while burrowed. One of two only units that can move while underground, making them powerful infiltrators. Can also evolve into the '''Ravager''', which is basically the Zerg's answer to the Siege Tank; a living acid mortar.

'''Scourge:''' An aerial equivalent of the zergling; a cheap, rapidly produced anti-air unit that works as a flying kamikaze bomb.

'''Mutalisk:''' The basic Zerg aerial unit; a flying worm-bat-thing that launches ricocheting biological ammo called "Glaive Wurms". In the original StarCraft, they can be evolved into both '''Guardians''', which are slow-moving air-to-ground acid-spewing crab-things, and '''Devourers''', which are anti-air focused. In StarCraft II, they can instead mutate into either '''Vipers''' (flying scorpions focused on a combo of anti-air and spellcasting) or '''Brood Lords''' (anti-ground flyers which attack by raining down showers of short-lived broodlings). Mutalisks are fast and excel at diving into undefended backlines but their dps is low and they struggle against most things that can actually shoot back at them. As such, you usually either see them as harassers or as air support for a flood of Zerglings that keep your enemy distracted.

'''Aberration:''' An evolved form of the Infested Terran only seen in StarCraft II. Hulking deformed spidery humanoids that are basically fit the midpoint between the Zergling and the Ultralisk as a mid-tier melee trooper.

'''Infestor:''' Support caster unit only seen in StarCraft II. Can paralyze enemies with fungal growth, take over minds with neural parasites, and spawn Infested Terrans as expendable grunts, but can't fight on its own. Can move while burrowed.

'''Swarm Host:''' A siege unit introduced in StarCraft II; a revisitation of the Lurker concept, this Zerg burrows into place and then spawns an endless wave of expendable suicide minions called "locusts". Was for quite some time one of the most broken units in the game because their Locusts benefitted from Weapon and Armour upgrades, letting them put out a lot of dps at a very reasonable price and against enemy forces that were much more expensive. This went so far that pros abused the shit out of them to the point that one particular match in pro play lasted ''three hours'' because it was so hard to crack them. LotV reworked them to be an entirely defensive unit, as they now move at a snails pace off creep, making it tricky for them to keep up with the fast and hard hitting main Zerg units like Hydralisks and Zerglings.

'''Corruptor:''' A heavier anti-armor flyer introduced only briefly in StarCraft II. For some reason deals more damage to larger targets, also mutates into Brood Lords.

'''Defiler:''' Scorpion-like caster unit only seen in the original game. Has no attack, but uses energy-fueled Dark Swarm and Plague special attacks to ravage wide areas of effect. Can also insta-kill allied Zerg units to replenish its energy immediately.

'''Ultralisk:''' Most powerful melee trooper the Zerg have, a demonic elephant-thing that slices foes apart with huge scythe-blade talons. Deceptively fast despite how big it is but its bulk means it can get stuck.

'''Infested Terran:''' Terran Marines consumed by Zerg parasites. Gimmicky suicide bombers in the first game that aren't worth using because it requires you to infest a Terran Command Center after bringing down to half health, as opposed to blowing it up, and while their explosion does the most damage of any attack in the game they die way too easily. Expendable ranged troopers produced by Infestors in the second game, where they are actually worth using.

'''Nydus Worm:''' Blurring the line between building and unit, a giant worm introduced in StarCraft II that can basically act as a kind of fast transport for Zerg units.

====Zerg Characters====
'''The Overmind:''' Essentially the Tyranid [[Hive Mind]], except it has a physical body and is a distinct consciousness separate from the rest of the Zerg. Dies at the end at the start of Brood War, but its remains prove to be valuable long after. The Overmind was created by Amon as part of his plot to subjugate the entire galaxy in order to have something to make sure that the Zerg would nom the right people, but the Overmind became aware that he was secretly controlled by him and assimilated Kerrigan to create a being that was powerful enough to lead the Zerg into freedom. Looks like a [[Sauron|giant eyeball]]. The Primal Zerg regarded the Overmind as a perversion of their racial ethos, which emphasized biological evolution on an individual level, in contrast to the Overminds version of evolution as a collective swarm and considered the creation of the Overmind as one of the single biggest crimes committed against their species.

'''Cerebrates:''' Enormous psionic maggots who basically serve as lieutenants to the Overmind. You play as one of these in the Starcraft 1 and Brood War Zerg Campaigns. These guys all get killed off by Kerrigan after they decide that they don't like the idea of playing second fiddle to a filthy half-human and instead turn against her to try and grow a replacement Overmind. What happened to the one remaining loyal Cerebrate that ''you'' played is never made clear.

'''Sarah Kerrigan, Queen of Blades:''' Originally a Ghost under the Confederacy until Mengsk stabs her in the back and feeds her to the Zerg. This results in her mutating into a superhuman monster that's now psychic and has a massive grudge against humanity and that gets worse when she gets command of the entire Zerg Swarm following the Overmind's death. Being the most powerful human psyker ever conceived, she was abducted by the Confederacy and trained into being a government hitwoman, similar to Nova, but unlike the latter, she fumbled an operation to kill Mengsk and found herself at his mercy; luckily for her, he saw her being useful in his service and unveiled the truth about the government she was serving, which promptly made her switch sides, only for Mengsk to betray her on Tarsonis. SC2 sees her transformed back into a human-zerg hybrid, which doesn't sit well with her when she sees her boytoy Raynor supposedly being killed and goes full Super Saiyan on Mengsk by transforming ''back'' into the Queen of Blades. It also turned out that she is the central object of an age-old prophecy concerning Amons revival and becomes a fully-fledged angel at the very end of SC2, in one of the derpiest
video game stories ever devised.

'''Alexei Stukov:''' A scummy Russian admiral of the United Earth Directorate who died during the Brood War as part of a lengthy political game. However, death was not the end for him as his space-coffin got captured by the Zerg and Stukov reanimated as a lab experiment to see how a Cerebrate can infect a human into a leader and then caught by another lab to see how to cure it. He would eventually break free of this and find himself allying with Kerrigan in his search for revenge.

'''Abathur:''' Chief mutationist NPC for Heart of the Swarm. He is a simple-minded, slug-looking thing that is obsessed with creating the perfect organism for the Zerg swarm and best remembered for his robotic way of speaking. He was also the guy... uhm, thing looking over Kerrigans initial transformation into the Queen of Blades which is described in agonizing detail in Heart of the Swarm (which basically involved breaking every single bone in her body, skinning her alive in acid and replacing it all with a Zerg exoskeleton).

'''Zagara:''' One of the first Brood Queens Kerrigan made in an attempt to make more autonomous leader organisms. While she had the mental power to lead the Zerg, she wasn't necessarily good at using it and lacked the tactical experience to succeed at it. Kerrigan would teach Zagara as a mentor. Would assume control of the swarm as supreme Overqueen once Kerrigan went off to be a mary-sue god.

'''Dehaka''': One of the Primal Zerg of Zerus, a sapient, individual being looking like a half-way cross between a sabretooth tiger and a dinosaur. He comes to respect Kerrigan for her killing of one of the oldest Zerg to have ever existed (a gigantic monstrosity the size of a small mountain) and joins her merry crusade because he feels that she could provide the best essence for his own evolution.

===[[Eldar|The Protoss]]===
Highly advanced psychic warriors, the Protoss are an ancient and highly technologically advanced race, possessing access to teleportation tech, forcefields, cybernetic exo-suits, robots and energy weapons...but [[Meme|you must construct additional pylons]]. They are divided into two primary factions: the Khalai and the Nerazim, but derogatively called by the Khalai as "Dark Templars". The difference is more cultural than anything: Khalai draw their psychic energy from "The Khala", the collective mental energy subconsciously produced by all Protoss, which they mentally tap into and use for communication or psionic energy storms. Nerazim abandoned the Protoss homeworld of Aiur generations ago over their belief that the Khala was unnatural, and brought the risk of reducing Protoss to mindless drones in a great mental hive. Metaphorically and literally severing themselves from the Khala, they are instead able to tap into "the darkness between the stars", allowing for more shadowy psi-powers like invisibility and teleportation. Khalai generally tend to be lawful stupid, [[Imperium|full of self-righteousness, glory, honor, noble sacrifice and burning heretics]], while Nerazim are more pragmatic, cynical and bro-tier, if a bit sinister. The sequel introduces a third faction, the Tal'darim, who left Auir before the invention of Khala and thus have no external source to empower their psychic powers - they compensate by using psychic drugs and taking power from their subordinates. They worship Xel'Naga and built an insane society based on social Darwinism and strict hierarchy - less [[Dark Eldar]], more Sith Order(complete with edgy black clothes and red lightsabers) with more straightforwardness and less backstabbing.

Protoss are the "slow 'n' tough" faction; they're extremely expensive and slow to produce, but they can take a hell of a beating, thanks to all their units and buildings coming with forcefields as standard (for example in direct confrontations their basic warrior the Zealot in both games will win against its counterparts the Marine and the Zergling if equal resources are put into them, not taking into account other supports). They fall between Terrans and Zerg when it comes to base building; uniquely, they teleport their buildings into place so they need fewer builders, but they need established power-grids, otherwise their buildings won't work. This also gives them a key infrastructure weakness, as it means you can cause buildings to stop working if you destroy the (conveniently fragile) generators powering them. Protoss armies tend to be "deathballs" relying on a single concentrated fist brutally plowing through the enemy defenses, while casually soaking up incoming damage, although vulnerable to being simultaneously attacked from multiple directions or being outmaneuvered, with enemy armies bypassing said deathball and attacking the Protoss base directly.

In the original Starcraft, you play as a Khalai Executor (A Templar commander, confirmed to be Artanis) seeking to defend Aiur, the Protoss homeworld, from the coming Zerg invasion. Things go not as planned by the end of the campaign due to internal strife.

In the Brood War, you play as an Executor (speculated to be Selendis, a student of Artanis) seeking to help the Protoss survive after they have been driven from Aiur by relocating them to the Dark Templar world of Shakuras, which is more problematic than it sounds due to the fact that Khalai Templars see the Dark Templars as heretical outcasts (although the Dark Templars themselves were more than welcoming of their holier-than-thou brethren). If you thought the first campaign was filled with political dissent since Tassadar's shenanigans, this has as much, if not more intra-species conflict.

In the Protoss-focused sequel, Legacy of the Void, you play as Artanis (the Tassadar fanboy) reuniting all the Protoss groups, retaking Aiur, blowing up Shakuras cause fuck you and making the preparations for the final showdown against Amon. Easily the darkest of Starcraft II's campaigns with about the first half being mostly pyrrhic victories against Amon, till Artanis goes on the offensive and starts getting some real (if a bit costly) victories. Eventually, they get Kerrigan to kill Amon, and let her hoof it to the dark corners of space with her boytoy Raynor.

Like Heart of the Swarm, you get variants for units. This varies from what you get normally to lots of campaign exclusive units, which includes lots of OP stuff like cloaked warriors that can comeback if killed. But the real fun comes from this giant ship called the Spear of Adun that can do anything from kill enemies with giant guns or giant lasers, to automatically constructing an additional pylon wherever you want and warp your army straight to it.

====Protoss Units====
'''Probe:''' The Protoss' worker unit. Its unique gimmick is that it ''summons'' structures into place, so rather than needing to devote multiple workers to building like the Terrans and Zerg, a Protoss player can have a single little robot running around and planting magical energy bubbles wherever the player wants buildings to pop into existence.

'''Zealot:''' Basic melee trooper; a Protoss warrior who [[Soulknife|punches things with daggers of concentrated hate]]. My life for Aiur! Is the strongest of the basic units, being the only one that can survive a hit from a Siege Tank's big gun.

'''Dragoon:''' Basic ranged trooper; a mortally wounded Zealot stuck in a walking life support unit mixed with a plasma-blasting turret, ala a [[Dreadnought]]. Largely absent for most of StarCraft II, replaced with the newly invented '''Immortal''' (much tankier, and with twin dual-linked blasters meant for punching through armor) and the '''Stalker''' (the Dark Templar analogue, able to teleport short distances). Eventually it returned in Legacy of the Void's campaign where they hit harder and deal more damage.

'''Adept:''' Female Protoss warriors armed with teleportation and psi-powered blasters. Introduced in StarCraft II. They like doing long-ranged dive attacks into the enemies backline and economy, but are piss poor as part of your main line due to their slow attack speed and low range.

'''High Templar:''' Protoss mystic that can't attack, but can cast a number of useful spells, including blasting an area with a psionic lightning storm. Two High Templars can merge into an '''Archon''', an [[elemental]] of pure psionic energy that has great shielding, but shitty health, and has no spells, but instead blasts ground and air targets with [[rape|psi-beams]]. In recent balance patches High Templars gained an attack that does as much damage as a thrown water balloon.

'''Dark Templar:''' Perma-cloaked Protoss [[assassin]]s with [[Soulknife|beefier versions of the Zealot's psi-blade]]. Initially appeared as campaign only units in the first game before the expansion. Gains teleportation in StarCraft II. Dark Templars are by far the most fragile unit of the Protoss roster but can oneshot workers and most early game units. As such, they can also support your main line while remaining cloaked and even after your main force is defeated... until detectors arrive on the scene. Two Dark Templars can merge into a '''Dark Archon''' in Brood War & StarCraft II, which is like an Archon that has the spellcasting abilities of a High Templar. It's weaker than the regular Archon in direct combat but still powerful due to their unique abilities which include mind control. Legacy of the Void's campaign brought it back where it's built like a normal unit and can now fight. It's not as strong as a regular Archon, though it's still really strong packs really strong spells.

'''Sentry:''' Robotic support drone that can broadcast protective energy fields to make allies tankier, block off paths with forcefield walls and project illusions of protoss units that [[Wat|can fly around and see things independently, making them great scouts]].

'''Reaver:''' Slug-like robotic tanks that need to build its ammunition - kamikaze robot drones called "Scarabs" - individually. Packs a hell of a punch, but expensive and slow moving.

'''Colossus:''' Giant walkers with insanely long legs that rake the ground with heat rays. They are so tall they can casually walk up and down cliffs, but are vulnerable to anti-air fire. Only found in StarCraft II.

'''Disruptor:''' Robot drone that can launch exploding bolts of pure psionic energy. Only found in StarCraft II.

'''Observer:''' A Probe reworked into an invisible scout and detector of cloaked enemy units.

'''Shuttle:''' Basic Protoss transport ship. Replaced in StarCraft II with the '''Warp Prism''', which can both teleport units across the map and act as a fill-in pylon.

'''Scout:''' Basic Protoss aerial unit, able to attack both ground and air targets.

'''Corsair:''' Dark Templar-created aerial support caster that has (pitiful) anti-air attacks but the ability to paralyze ground units. A key component of Protoss's tendency to dominate the late game.

'''Carrier:''' Protoss battleship armed with a fleet of AI-controlled drones, called "Interceptors". These can be shot down and must be manually replaced, so they require a fair bit of micro-managing. While an iconic unit they struggled with attempts to make them viable due to the lack of damage from the Interceptors (since they did so little damage, they were only worth it if you massed them up, which is a precarious strategy for such an expensive units that gets countered by units that cost less than half), to the point where SC2 just kept them around for the iconic status while the Tempest was meant to take up their role. Legacy of the Void finally made them viable since their Interceptors are made much cheaper and can be sent out away from the Carrier without it having expose itself to fire, meaning it can actually function like a real world aircraft carrier. In lore they have beams meant for glassing planets though you never get to use those in gameplay outside of version used by a CO-OP commander.

'''Arbiter:''' Support vessel only found in the original StarCraft and Legacy of the Void's campaign; can teleport allies, freeze enemies in an area, and passively renders nearby allies invisible. The last ability doesn't work on other Arbiters so you don't get to a invisible army with them.

'''Phoenix:''' Fast-moving anti-air skirmish ships with the ability to use a Graviton Beam to levitate ground units into the air so they can then blow them up. Slightly less obnoxiously OP than the Corsair it replaced.

'''Void Ray:''' Secondary offensive battleship that uses a focused laser beam attack; the longer it concentrates on one target, the more damage it does.

'''Tempest:''' Protoss battleship that acts as a ''very'' long-ranged siege unit, staying well out of harm's way and hurling destructive energy bolts.

'''Oracle:''' Aerial support caster that actually has surprisingly decent attack against Light type units, it detects hidden units, can peel back the fog of war, and paralyze things with its Stasis Ward. Only found in StarCraft II.

'''Mothership:''' The ultimate Protoss battleship...in theory. In practice, it had so many things going against it that the game eventually shifted to let you play with a wimpier version called the ''Mothership Core'' first that could then be upgraded into a proper Mothership. Actually, Motherships aren't battleships but support vessels. They replace Arbiters in StarCraft II as unit that cloaks and teleports allies. As a nice bonus can project fields of slowed time to reduce enemy movement speed and fire rates. Stronger versions tend to show up as boss enemies in campaigns. You never actually get to use the regular Mothership in Legacy of the Void's campaign, instead you get the Tal'Darim version that is more expensive, but significantly tougher, better armed, and its abilities are all focused on offense.

====Protoss Characters====
*'''Tassadar:''' The Protoss POV character for the first game, whom questions the pointless exile of the Dark Templars as they proved to be vital to the survival of their race and gets branded a [[heresy|heretic]] in return. Unfortunately, he martyrs himself when the Zerg attack Aiur.

*'''Zeratul:''' One of the few Dark Templars who manage to make friends with both Tassadar and Raynor, being rational enough to understand when he'd need help. He accidentally gives away the location of Aiur to the Zerg Overmind while destroying one of it's Cerebrates, which ends with Aiur being eaten by the Zerg and him being branded a renegade. In SC2, he becomes the guy who figures out long before anyone else what is actually going in the universe and scrambles to keep the sector from eating itself, but barely anyone listens to him. He sacrifices himself to free Artanis from Amons control.

*'''Artanis:''' Tassadar's protégé and POV character for Brood War and Legacy of the Void. Eventually finds a way to unite all of the Protoss kindred against Amon. Starts out as a zealous crusader befitting of his station as Templar Executor, softens up after the events of SC1 and Brood War to become an idealist hell-bent on reclaiming Aiur, but unlike Matt Horner or Ariel Hanson isn't afraid to cut you to size if you cross him.

*'''Fenix:''' Artanis' friend who sacrifices himself to protect the gates as the Protoss fled from Aiur. Proper bro-tier Zealot champion concerned with little else but fighting honorably and having a proper brawl to participate in. He is mortally wounded in the invasion of Aiur and comes back as a Dragoon in brood War, where he meets his final end when Kerrigan betrays him.
**'''Talandar:''' So during Legacy of the Void, Artanis comes across knowledge of the Purifiers, an abandoned army of [[Transformers|transforming]] Protoss [[Dreadnoughts]] who are programmed with the memories of their dead brethren. Among them was one who carried the memories of Fenix. Though he stuck to this story at first, he eventually realized that just because he had Fenix's memories didn't necessarily mean that he had to be Fenix. Thus, the name change to Taldanis.

*'''Alarak:''' The leader of the Tal'darim, a subrace of Protoss who essentially channel the [[Dark Eldar]] and is delightfully voiced by John DeLancie. Alarak finds that the current policy of the Tal'darim aiding Amon is proving to be less useful than allying with his own kindred, especially once he finds out that Amon was betraying his kind as well. He's just as deceitful as one expects, only upholding his deal to not betray Artanis because of their non-aggression pact. Dishes out priceless insults by the minute against everyone he meets, including his own kin.

===[[Old Ones|The Xel'Naga]]===
A highly advanced alien race... and the cause of all this misery. See, they helped shape the Protoss into the powerful psykers they are today, and then got booted off of Aiur. They then created the Zerg, and got eaten for it - but one of them survived (though he died too, he was just revived). Amon secretly manipulated the Overmind into seeking out the Protoss, and serves as the big bad of the Starcraft II trilogy, with his plans to create an army of Zerg/Protoss hybrids and then annihilate all life (and energy, rendering everything dark and still) in the galaxy, so he can start over from scratch.

The background revealed that the Xel'Naga always wanted the Protoss and Zerg to meet and merge and form into the new Xel'Naga, it turns out the Protoss didn't kick them off Aiur they were just done with them. Amon's just an asshole who messed up the Zerg before they were done. In addition, the Xel'Naga never really put Terrans into account, in part because they never directly toyed around with humanity (since they developed psychic powers through mutation during spess travel, rather convenient) and in Amon's case grossly underestimated mankind throwing a wrench into his plans. Terrans also make the perfect slaves to build the machines that create the Hybrid.
*'''Amon''':
*'''Samir Duran''': A duplicitous Amon-adjacent being that secretly pulled the strings to aid his masters return and create a Zerg-Protoss hybrid army. First introduced during Brood War, he poses as a Confederate Remnant militia leader who joins the UED and aids them in their project to create a UED-controlled Zerg Cerebrate, a plan which royally backfires on the UED and ends up with all of them being killed. That he is not quite what he claims to be is being made clear in the secret missions of Brood War, where he unveils the first Hybrid-Prototype. He resurfaces in Wings of Liberty under the guise of a Professor Narud (real clever there, Blizzard) and advances his plot by posing as a scientist that wants to reclaim Xel'naga artifacts while getting his funding from Valerian. Wings of Liberty's secret mission in conjunction with the plot of Heart of the Swarm implies that he also talked Mengsk and the Dominion into creating Hybrids in a ultra-top-secret R&D lab.

===Post-Starcraft 2===
The Zerg are controlled by an independent feminine Overmind that calls up the humans and Protoss on the phone sometimes in order to have peace because Mommy Kerrigan told her to, humanity is clearly evolving into something far stronger and is increasingly incorporating nanomachines and crystal tech into their bodies as well as zerglike manifestations of mutation, and the Protoss civilization has no clue what its doing in the future because every time they run out to the grocery store for milk and eggs they come across another group of exiles from their race with radical new ways of looking at things that skullfucks their current understanding of their own civilization sideways. Oh yeah, and the UED may still be watching everything going on in the Koprulu sector because they have nothing else to do

So...happy ending for now?

As of October 2020, Starcraft 2 has been put into maintenance mode, with Blizzard announcing that they would cease any content updates in the future. Many saw it coming as Starcraft 2 dropped a lot in popularity once the MOBA games took off in popularity (much to Blizzards anger) and most content packs after the release of the last expansion for the game itself were met with mixed success. Blizzard made a last attempt at putting SC 2 in the spotlight again by turning it into a Freemium-Game in 2017 with equally mixed results.

[[File:Risk StarCraft|thumb]]
[[File:Risk Starcraft|thumb|Playing field and all available models]]
===/tg/ relevance===
Aside from having ideas worth mining for space games, StarCraft has been ported to Risk, thankfully with changes to core gameplay to make it resemble its vidya parent closer.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:3875524-1342590432983.jpg|<s>fixed for accuracy</s> While <s>accurate</s> not accurate at all, the railguns/Gauss rifles (you know, the same electromagnetic type that the Tau use as their BFG, just smaller) Marines carry can turn pretty much anything across sci-fi into Swiss cheese, but also note that Starcraft's Marines are the Guardsmen, more specifically the '''Penal Legion''' cannonfodder unit in their universe, and Space Marines are the most elite fighting force of the Imperium asides from the GK and Custodes. Almost all Marines are either so dumb they barely know what side of their gun the bullets come from, are brainwashed and mindraped and drugged up until they're like angry robots, or are disorganized pirate mercenaries.
File:Starcraft zelot by eloblazewicz-d9e7f4j.jpg|My life for Aiur!
File:Latest.png|The Zerg rape train has no brakes
File:Hybrid.jpg|Hybrid Reaver
File:Swarm host.jpg|Mother of the endless Locust swarm
</gallery>

{{Alternity}}

Emperor's To-Do List

2026-03-25T06:18:02Z

Archange1: Undo revision 1008420 by 192.42.116.179 (talk)

{{Awesome}}
{{Heresy}}
== The Emperor's list of Things to do after Resurrection ==
The God-Emperor of Mankind has been taking a bit of a breather lately, but don't think that he has stopped caring and looking after humanity. As a matter of fact, the [[Adeptus Custodes]] happen to have scribbled down this reassuring list of things that the Emperor intends to do once he's finished taking a little nap, scratched his non-existent nose and taken a bath.

==Rules for new entries==

1: Learn to spell. This is the Emperor's Sacred To-Do List, not the toilet paper roll of an illiterate [[Indrick Boreale|five year old]].

2: Keep crossovers to a minimum, ''especially'' dumb ones. Before you make it, ask yourself "can it be funny without referencing non-[[Warhammer]] stuff?" If the answer is yes, don't make the reference.

3: Read through the damn list before repeating the same damn thing over again, because having five entries, all asking for the same thing is [[Derp|stupid]]. Have you read it? Read it again!

4: Learn to be funny and not painfully annoying, jokes are fine, ''bad'' jokes are not. Before you show us your wit, tell it to some friends and see if they laugh. If you don't have friends, tell it to your pet. If your pet is an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iguana iguana] and therefore cannot talk, talk to the voices in your head and try to make them laugh.

5: Avoid excessive strike-throughs and [[Blam|blamming]], as it makes it hard for all of us to read.

6: Anyone who declares a state of anarchy or refers to this article as a "thread", will be [[Blam|shot]], [[Dark Eldar|dragged out behind the barnyard]], [[Ork|beaten severely]], [[Imperial Guard|run over with a Baneblade]], then [[Blam|shot]] again. The body will then be burned to ensure no taint remains.

7: If you can't make jokes, then put some effort to make an insightful or interesting submission. Think about what the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|God-Emperor]] would actually do when he wakes up to the sight of a regressing civilization.

8: Don't edit these rules.

9: Don't add more rules.

==The Holy List (in no particular order)==
[[File:TheLiterallyImmortalGodEmperorOfMankind.jpg|300px|thumb|"Your faith in The Emperor shall assuredly be rewarded."]]
The thing is that the Emperor of Mankind would be really pissed off upon returning his consciousness to his body and finding out what happened to his Imperium during his 10,000-year-long absence/slumber upon the Golden Throne.
In his absence, the [[High Lords of Terra|idiots]] running the Imperium have become even more corrupt, the [[Imperial Truth]] has been forgotten by everyone, some [[Ecclesiarchy|retards]] have got everyone worshipping me, some [[Black Templars|maniacs]] are so fucked up they are just killing anyone useful, and the general state of affairs is through and through [[Grimdark|GRIMDARK]].
This list describes the immediate "improvements" the Emperor of Mankind would install, steps towards a more [[noblebright]] galaxy. The list has also seen some additions made by the [[Adeptus Custodes]] and the [[Commissars]] of the [[Imperial Guard]].

----
# Scratch my everything.
# Roll around on the floor and spasm violently.
# Take a shower.
# Punch everyone else in the face.
#Tell everyone to never ever ask stupid fucking questions ever again.
# Eat breakfast.
#Swat the fucking mosquito that's been buzzing around the throne room and biting me for millenia without anyone noticing.
# Find my ballpoint pen.
# Get some tacos.
#Crack back.
#Crack knuckles.
#Crack neck.
#Crack Lorgar's neck.
# Kill every single one of the [[Marines Malevolent]]. Because they deserve it.
# Look at this list and reorganize. Some items on the list are more important than others.
## Not enough dakka
# Become CEO and majority shareholder of [[Games Workshop]].
## Execute and then replace its upper level employees and management.
## Don't be so picky with video game companies and start trying to work with developers who can get Warhammer's name some noteriety as a respectable franchise and not something whose liscenced games are B-grade.
# Recognize /tg/ for its greatness.
#Weep solemnly over the mountain of parking tickets taped to my land raider.
#Don't pay parking tickets.
# Clone Creed <strike>and make him commander of everything</strike>-Scratch that, resurrect '''LORD SOLAR MACHARIUS''', make ''him'' commander of everything, and make Creed his second-in-command... of everything. Also, make the both of them into Primarchs for good measure
# Find Dorn, and spank his ass until it is so red Magnus looks normal in comparison because his spiky Iron Halo popped my eye.
# Hand his so-called 'Imperial Guards' over to the Angry Marines
## Then hand his entire military over the Angry Marines to use to decorate every chain sword in the galaxy with their guts
# Build a new Death Star, I want a Death Star, dammit!
## Scratch that, Get Titan Converted into a new Starkiller base. Fuck, The Grey Knights would be good enough, but keep it away from the rest of the [[Inquisition]]
## Actually, create something even bigger, just because I can.
## ''Important note:'' Stick a void shield on the thing!
## '''''Very Important Note''''' Make sure it can't be blown up by a few lucky idiots doing a single thing somewhere important.
### '''''''Extremely Important Note''''''' Make sure you plan to declare a crusade on Eldar Craftworlds(not Exodites, waste of resources) to make sure they don't stop you from building it.
# Take a shower, I smell worse than a [[Plague Marine]] at this point.
# Brush my teeth, because at this point, my halitosis could probably qualify for Exterminatus.
# Fix my fucked up face.
# Find [[Magnus the Red|Magnus]], and spank him until his buttocks are in the infrared spectrum for ruining everything.
# Create [[Catgirl|Catgirls]].
## Kill anyone who asks why, as they are too stupid to live.
## Destroy the gene manipulation records as to not enable anyone to make Chakats.
## Never mind, turns out [[Felinids]] are already a thing. Saves me the trouble.
## Give Felinids "sanctioned" status so no one can fuck with them.
# Retry building the Golden Throne so that this time I can access the [[Webway]].
## But this time actually share it with other people and test it somewhere else off of [[Holy Terra]].
# Add more bling to my palace, even more bling to my throne and go bling crazy on a new suit of armour.
# Drive around the M25 in a car so fast I dig a trench around London by friction
# Table an Eldar player by turn 2 in an equal points game (it's possible, I've just done it!!!(bitches))
# Recruit black guardsmen/bolter bitches.
# Eat something other than psykers babies, seriously I need to eat more carbohydrates.
## And some protein, so I can get even more ripped. I know no-one can see my [[Gay|muscles]], but they need to be there.
## Don't forget your vitamins too, Dear.
# Eat a live [[Carnifex]] without the aid of sauces.
# Eat another live [[Carnifex]] with the aid of sauces.
# Turn yet another [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX|Carnifex]] into sauce, while living, and use that as a sauce for the last live Carnifex.
# Discover a way to cook Tyranids so they taste like buttered lobsters or fried bacon. That way, Imperial Guardsmen will not only be cheered up by the prospect of a good meal at the end of a battle, but they would also appreciate the irony of galaxy-eaters suddenly becoming tasty grub. Hiveships, once dreaded, would become flying hors d'oeuvres platters.
# Wash the Carnifex meal down with a glass of soda and Amasec.
# Further expand the Warhammer 40K storyline without the interference of [[Games Workshop]].
# Teach the [[Imperial Guard]] generals some actual tactics other than "Hey-Diddle-Diddle-Straight-Up-The-Middle."
# Tell the Adeptus Mechanicus to stop keeping secrets and actually try to advance technology so we don't have to rely on whatever scraps from the [[Dark Age of Technology]] we have left. Threaten to Exterminatus Mars if they don't.
## Shit a brick when I remember who makes those Exterminatus ships work in the first place.
# Replace the Imperial Guardsmen [[Lasgun|Lasguns]] with something that can ''actually'' do shit. Probably some Pulse Rifles or Gauss Flayers.
# Get a Militarum codex for all the Segmenta and make Militarum Solar entirely from [[Adeptus Custodes]] in Necrodermis.
# Make up with [[Matt Ward|Matthew Ward]] as he isn't that bad.
## GeeDubs still made shit in his absence.
# Kick that [[Star Wars]] Emperor's arse.
## Proceed to reverse engineer their lasers and proceed to make Lasguns better.
## Hang out with Darth Vader.
# Gather every Guardsman, Astartes, Inquisition operative, Sororita, Commissar... hell, everyone in the Imperium of Man, give them weapons, have them surround the Eye of Terror and ''then'' let the Greatest of all Holy shitstorms ensue.
## Optional: Proceed to create Black Hole Producing weaponry and launch a ton at the Eye of Terror.
# On that note, find a way to bring [[Kaldor Draigo]] from the warp. I need him because he Makes it Happen.
## Fuck Kaldor Draigo, he's insane(yet funny). Find someone just as awesome as me to get some shit done...Doomguy.
## Or perhaps this Doom Slayer man, I heard he took down a demonic god.
# Outangry [[Angron]], outsex [[Fulgrim]], outfortify [[Perturabo]], outwit [[Magnus]], outspeed [[Jaghatai Khan|Khan]], outpreach [[Lorgar]], outdrink [[Leman Russ|Russ]], outendurance [[Mortarion]] and outforge [[Vulkan]].
# Personally execute Fulgrim, Perturabo, Angron and the rest of the traitor Primarchs.. ''after'' the Inquisition has given them a proper torturing. Except Fulgrim. No torture for him will be torture enough.
## May I suggest simply bringing them back into your fold my lord? Primarchs are rather expensive.
### Fine: send Fulgrim to rehab, lock Mortarion in the Imperial bathroom, get Magnus a gym membership, send Angron to group anger management classes, tell Perturabo he builds the best sand castles, inform [[Omegon]] where Waldo is and teach Lorgar what self esteem is so he can worship himself for once.
# Beat [[Khorne]] in an arm wrestling match, thus avenging my prior defeat at his hands, then rip his arm off and beat him to death with it.
# Show [[Slaanesh]] my dick and watch his/hers/its sweet tears of envy. If Slaanesh doesn't cry, just dickslap the bitch into Khorne's arms and eat popcorn while hilarity ensues.
# Hug [[Nurgle|Papa Nurgle]] and remain pure.
# Get [[Isha]] out of Nurgle's clutches, then watch as every Eldar wych freaks out, incidentally causing the Eye of Terror to blink. [[Just as Planned]].
# Seduce Isha, just to prove that I can, and watch as Nurgle gets pissed off.
# Fuck Isha so hard that every [[Eldar]] is gonna feel their asses sore. Also make sure to livestream it!
# Give Nurgle a bath, with holy water made by distilling the blood of 1,000,000,000,000 saints.
# Make Nurgle feel gut-wrenching sadness so bad his cultists won't be so unnaturally happy.
# Run before plagues eat Nurgle alive for not being diseased enough, spontaneously combusting with the power of 10 of my Legendary Power Swords.
# Devise a scheme so elaborate and complex that I'll be the one to say "Just as planned" to Tzeentch.
## Makes sure it better than what [[Creed]] could come up with.
# Then do the same thing to [[Commander Puretide]].
# And then do the same to [[Imotekh the Stormlord]].
# And then do the same to [[Eldrad]].
# Then get Creed, Imotekh, Puretide, Eldrad, [[Aetaos'Rau'Keres]], The [[Swarmlord]] and [[Kairos Fateweaver| Kairos]] instated as the new Eggheads.
# Outdick [[Eldrad]]. Then screw both of his daughters in front of him. Again. At the same time.
## Go back in time and get Eldrad to have more daughters, so that I can have an orgy in front of him.
### While your at it, create a Time Travel Paradox Nuke to destroy the universe for leverage over Chaos and everyone else. [[Just as Planned]].
## Apologize to [[Taldeer]] by officiating at her wedding with LIIVI (and make that canon!)
# Go back in time (multiversal travel required too) and tell the dumb fuck at [[Games Workshop]] [[Matthew Ward]] who fucked up the 5th Edition of Codex Astartes that "He's doing it wrong," the dude to made the Imperial Guard better that "He's doing it right,"(Tomb kings and Tyranids disagree), then go to the guy who decided to give the Guard flashlights and take him to the Inquisition to be properly tortured.
# <s>Make a Total War version of Warhammer</s> Done. Make a [[Total War]] version of Warhammer 40k.
# Permit Space Marines and Sisters of Battle to date. Well, the Astartes call themselves my Sons, and the Sororitas say they're my Daughters... maybe this plan is a wee bit awkward? But I want grandkids, and the last time I was a dad, my son [[Horus]] went and [[Horus Heresy|ruined Christmas for everybody]].
# Be a better father to the rest of my sons, as not to spark another shitstorm that will inevitably cripple me for another few millennia.
# Go on a deer-hunting trip with some [[Vindicare]] and bag more kills than him using MY KICKASS FLAY-WITH-MY-MIND POWERS!!!
# Overshadow an [[Eversor]] Assassin during his dynamic entry.
# Deceive a [[Callidus]] Assassin with disguises and trick her into having a romantic relationship with me.
# Outbrood a [[Culexus]] Assassin and still remain awesome.
# Deceive the [[C'tan]] false GabeN "[[The Deceiver]]" by tricking him into giving over control of the Necrons to me.
# Find the C'tan called "[[The Outsider]]" and rehabilitate him. If not possible, kick him into a Black Hole.
# Find out what if anything is chasing the Tyranids and see if they're friendly. If not: Launch the prototype promethium planetary bombardment torpedo.
# Once again outdick Eldrad in the game of his choice, forcing him to ragequit.
# Beat a [[Lord of Change]] Greater Daemon in a game of Chess with only 5 moves.
# Then beat it in 4
# Make a better emergency life support system as a safeguard if things for some reason go south. By that I mean make some kinda Emperor [[Dreadnought]] or some shit like that so I can still do my job instead of all this being a decaying corpse on some tricked out toilet worshiped by the entire population... did I mention how much this sucks? I heard that an old fart by the name of Karamazov has a dreadnought as a chair...
# <s>Personally get that dreadnought back-up plan started</s> Better idea, make myself a fucking [[Imperator Battle Titan|Imperator Titan]] as my Dreadnought backup plan
##Actually, fuck that, build a Dreadnought that goes in an Imperator Titan.
##fuck it, have the [[Adeptus Mechanicus|cog-faced boys]] over at mars make me an even bigger titan and then throw the imperial palace on its back
# Outright skullfuck Slaanesh for making something so good be so wrong and heretical.
# Eliminate masturbation across the Imperium and in its place have sanctioned sex workers as part of the socialized medical program(no, I think I had it right before) so nobody will be stuck comforting themselves alone ever again.
# Go outdick Eldrad one last time. Then put all the Eldar he saved when he got the Orks to invade Armageddon in a life threatening situation.
## Let Eldrad try and save them.
## Laugh as he fails.
## Save them so I get to be the bigger man.
## Make a note of where they all are so next time Eldrad pisses me off I can kill them without wasting too much time.
# Send search parties throughout the Empire to find that awesome excuse for a Space [[Viking]], [[Leman Russ]], and if he's found alive, hand his ass to him like I did before I got stuck on this throne.
# Prove the existence of the [[Alpha Legion]].
# Get those two exiled legions back again, they've blasted enough [[Tyranids]] in other galaxies by now!
# Give Alpharius and Omegon a hug for staying secretly loyal and fighting Chaos from within for ten thousand years, then ground them for a decade for all the damage they did in the process
# Invent a more reliable warp drive in order to...
# Expand the Imperium to a intergalactic empire.
# Create a special rule just for myself so that instead of just ''one'' unit as a scout, I field an [[Creed|ENTIRE REGIMENT'S worth of troops as scouts]].
# Beat a Commissar at a Western-Style shootout.
# Recognize the [[Legion of the Damned]] for their awesomeness and badassery.
# Challenge [[Sly Marbo]] to a duel to decide who is the greatest being in the entire universe.
# Beat a Tau Broadside battlesuit in ranged combat using only an angry glare.
# <s>Hunt down my Legendary Power Sword. Again</s>. Never mind Apparently roboute found it
##Ask him if he can give it back
# Come up with a Name for my Legendary Power Sword more original than The Burning Blade.
# Use the warp to go back in time, find myself and beat myself in a duel, so I can have TWO Legendary Power Swords!!!
# GROW A GOD-DAMNED BEARD. HOW CAN I BE CONSIDERED MANLY WITHOUT A BEARD? Also, how the fuck none grew in 10 fucking thousand years?
#Give a TONS of medals and some miles of purity seals to [[Gav and Bob|Gav]] (seriously, that ogryn kill a keeper of secrets and a thousand sons wizard) then resurrect Bob, commissar Arry and give a new body to Tarla for make him happy.
# Find the canon-Nazi using this list as his own personal toilet paper to wipe his shit on and mail him to Commorragh.
# Throw a WAAAGH!!
## Invite the Orks to said WAAAGH!!.
## Aim said WAAAGH!! at the Necrons/Tyranids.
## Bring a camera.
## ???
## PROFIT.
# Find [[Lion El'Jonson]] and get him back on the front line owning shit.
# Resurrect [[Rogal Dorn]]/Rogal Dorn's hand, and stitch it back on.
# Disable [[Roboute Guilliman]]'s life support.
## Never mind, someone got him off his lazy blue butt.
## Find out who resurrected him and keep them on retainer in case things go ploin-shaped again.
## Apologise to him for being such a dick when we last spoke. See point 63 for reason why.
# Create a First Founding 2.0 to make the [[Angry Marines]], [[Manly Marines]] and those other guys canon.
# Come up with more shit for The Emperor's list of Things to do after Resurrection 2.0 if things do go south for some reason and the Emprah-dread-titan ain't ready yet.
# Turn the Armageddon conflict into a 24/7 Reality TV Channel, just like in that fantastic movie The Truman Show.
# Invent a deodorant that works on Typhus.
# Promote [[Cypher]] to Warmaster, he's clearly more competent than any other human that got to that rank. He seems more reliable than even Lion El'Jonson.
# Fuck, trip-out and drink the whole of [[Commorragh]] under the table, and then <s>kick</s> PUNT their stoned arses into Hell.
# Proceed to turn the remnants of Commorragh into a family friendly theme/water park called "EMPRA LAND!". Featured attractions: Blam the Xenos, Hot Heretic and Dismember the Deamon!
# Somehow regain my love and compassion. Can't lead the Imperium into non-grimdarkness without that, you know!
# Figure out how to get my awesomesauce body back since I lost all my limbs to decomposition.
# Make the Ultramarines stop boasting how awesome they are while in fact they fuck up almost every vital engagement. Thus, first I must make them REALLY awesome, and then I won't need to tell about it to anyone since it will be a fact in itself.
# Somehow find a way to come back without sparking off galaxy-wide hysteria. Seriously, who would have thought being considered a GabeN would suck so hard?
# Redesign the power armor [[pauldrons]]. CAN'T SEE SHIT WITH THESE THINGS ON, I MEAN FUCK. Also, I can't fucking scratch my neck without smashing my head. While I'm at it, find out why the fucking hell I thought that was a good idea to have those things so big in the first place.
## My lord, the Techpriests of Mars have fixed this issue by making the pauldrons slide downwards automatically when the arms need to be raised.
# Design a helmet awesome enough for me, let's see [[Failbaddon|wannabe Horuses]] try to mortally wound me when all of me is covered in armor.
## May I suggest augmenting your laurel crown with a powerfield and some sort of transparent armor?
# Invent a power staircase.
# Resurrect Malcador the Hero and give him a shiny medal for his troubles.
## On second thought, better make it two shiny medals.
## We're talking REALLY shiny, here.
## It's like, damn son.
## So shiny.
## Actually give him three shiny medals.
## Heresy! Give him 4 Shiny medals.
## Actually.... A suit of auramite power armor with the awards engraved in the chest. Add a archaeotech refractor in there too.
# Congratulate [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] for doing more damage to the forces of Chaos than my armies could have done in the same amount of time by being an incompetent fuck, then dickslap him back into the Warp.
# Use Time machine to bring Archaon into the 41st millennia and watch him beat Abbadon with with his own arms and take his place so I may have a worthy opponent.
# Boot Cato Sicarius into the eye of terror and get Captain Titus to lead the 2nd company.
# Surf a flying leviathan.
# Surf an Emperor-Class [[Titan]]
# Surf the energy beam from an overcharges VOLCANO CANNON, THAT ORBITAL SPIRE IS GOING DOWN!!!
# Get Forge World to make a fluff accurate miniature of me.
# Make a legendary thunder-shield for myself.
# Make my armor out of Necrodermis, I'll be invincible then.
##Find a way to minatureize a void shield into that.
##Failing that, an Ion Shield.
# Make [[Commissar Yarrick]] into a living saint, I'm tired of Khorne bragging about how cool An'ggrath is and how I have nothing to match him, so I want my own version.
# Resurrect Ciaphas Cain and form the "forward retreat" legion for him to command.
# Collect each and every one of the bajillion pieces of Khaine, put them together, and as he resurrects, punch him so hard that he'll fall apart into TWO bajillion pieces.
# Create a super sleeping pill for the Void Dragon so he'll never wake up. In case it won't work, I will pummel him back to sleep personally. It worked before, thus I suppose it wouldn't be too much harder a second time, but I have a lot of better things to attend to so the sleeping pill is worth a try.
# Finally win a game of Paradox Poker. Yes it's fun to get together with Tzeentch, the Deceiver, and Cegorach every Saturday night for these games of dickery. But it's about time that someone won one of these games and it might as well be me. Maybe I can bring Creed along to help.
##Invent a translator for the hive mind so it doesn't sound like a thousand mental patients gargling a million nails in motor oil and weird syntax and can become a regular player.
## Privatize said translator and form a secret alliance with the Hivemind, and then talk shit about the others behind their backs (after making sure the translator works two ways).
# Organize my birthcentury party. It's gonna be an awesome party that'll last 10,000 days!
# Out-prank and out-funny Cegorach... probably the most difficult thing to do on my list.
# Set up arrangements for my return where I launch myself out of a Vindicator and hit a Demon Prince, [[awesome|causing him to explode.]]
# Figure out how to tell [[Adeptus Mechanicus|my man bitches]] to add pimp wheels to my golden throne then maybe a [[Dwarf Fortress|magma cannon]] or something badass...
# Reupholster the golden throne.
# Develop better plans to stop global warming and acid rain on [[Hiveworld]] planets.
# Beat Abaddon with his own arms.
# Recharge my iAuspex.
## Update it too, oh me, the update time....
# Beat [[Matt Ward]] and [[C.S. Goto]] over the head with their crappy works
# Tell the [[Black Templars]] to chill the fuck out. On second thought gather them into the 10,000 strong unstoppable force (ITS IN THE CODEX IT MUST BE SO) and destroy the Eye of Terror.
# Release Bjorn and find the Space Wolves a kennel.
# Get the Space Wolves a damn flea collar
# Win a blinking contest with the Eye of Terror.
# Fetch Badassius his coat.
# Look up affordable retirement plans, I am so sick of babysitting some of these hopeless morons.
# Challenge [[Doomrider]] into a space coke-snorting contest. Then laugh at him as he dies from overdosing on the stuff.
# Convince [[Doombreed]] to allow a model of himself to be made.
# Get a haircut. Ensure my hair is even more fabulous.
# Have a trip over to the dentist.
# [[Exterminatus]] Equestria
## And their sun and moon as while, do those first actually.
# Beat Chuck Norris with his own legs
# Start an intergalactic fast food chain. (Empy's Empanada's)
# Invent a time machine.
# Guarantee that Magnus won't fuck up my invention again. Rip his eye out and beat him to death with it.
# Use the time-machine to drink [[Leman Russ]] under the table.
# Using the time-machine so I can eat more than Leman Russ as well.
# Hatch an extremely complicated time machine plot.
## Go back in time and give yourself a time machine and all future information
## Do something cool??? Figure out how to twist reality better?
## Uhhh.... running out of ideas... Annihilate [[Horus]]?
## Do something about your fall. What fall?
## No Matter What Happens, The world will... wait is it will or was or is...
## ???
## ????????????????????
## Profit?
## Hire the Tau to make a animated series about my inter-time adventures, call it Golden;Throne or something.
# Assign a Primarch to the [[Angry Marines]]
# Assign Zoloft regiment to newly anointed Primarch of the Angry Marines
# Find my driver's license and look up own name.
# Clean house with the Administratum. How can we get shit done when we don't know how much we have to work with?
# Dig out my office from all the paperwork/peat moss that has accumulated over the <s>years</s> <s>decades</s> <s>centuries</s> fucking millennia. Not looking forward to this one.
## Get my old battleship for a shortcut.
# Make galaxy wide web and ban Lord Commissar from every thing.
## Spy on everyone with no mercy. [[Chaos]] will corrupt through the web or some stupid explanation via Chaos Magic.
# Invent a social network purely for Space Marines accessible from any data slate called Facemarine.com
# Invent a website called 40000chan.org so that humanity will finally be rid of the IRL [[trolls]] that have taken control over the hive cities, instead of the internet.
# Outangry a Angry Marine
# Outmanly a Manly Marine
# Outpretty a [[Pretty Marines|Pretty Marine]]
# Utterly destroy all [[furry|furfaggotry]]. (Space wolves and catgirls not included!)
# Beat myself in arm-wrestling with only one arm.
# Beat [[Commissar Fuklaw]] in a chainsword duel. Then every Angry Marine.
# Tell the [[Blood Ravens]] to stop dicking around in the Aurelia Subsector and get to work on that Eye Of Terror thing.
# Cure space-AIDS by wiping out those filthy Dark Eldar.
# Pimp the Golden Throne so that I may score even more bitches.
# Make a show called "The Fresh Emperor of Sacred Terra".
# Get new toilet paper, this 40,001 year megapack has almost run out.
# Turn off my [[Astronomicon|nightlight]]. Seems that everyone was using it for something. Well, no big deal I guess.
## Actually, create something better, which has a radius bigger than 50,000 light years, doesn't cause the deaths of one thousand [[psykers]] every day (find a better use for them) but most importantly doesn't need me to control it. I mean come on, my time is too important to just act as a giant psychic signpost.
# Order all thrones, chairs and benches destroyed. Or out of my sight at least, on pain of Exterminatus Cheezious, which is like getting creamed, but harder.
# Build a gold fortress at the [[brits|centre]] of Terra to enslave troglodytes.
# Become human parasite.
# Go back in time, beat entire GW executive board over the head with a power bat and then give the Warhammer 40000 license to someone willing to do a good job of it.
# Scratch that, go back in time, resurrect THQ and tell them to make <s>five</s> four (one is already out of the way) more Space Marine games.
# Punch [[Mork]] in the balls, with [[Gork]]'s severed fist.
# Demote [[Creed]] and his friends who keep fucking with my list.
# Beat [[Swarmlord]] and mindfuck [[Hive Mind]]
# Pray night and day that Frank Herbert's family doesn't sue the shit out of me for blatantly ripping him off.
# Get [[Andy Chambers]] BACK!!!
# Kick every heretic who claimed the Space Marine game was a ripoff of Gears of War/Starcraft in the balls with Powerfeet. Then send the [[Angry Marines]] in.
# Beat [[Matt Ward]] to death with [[C.S. Goto]].
# Beat [[C.S. Goto]] to death with [[Matt Ward]]'s corpse.
# Give the Nightbringer nightmares about me.
# Resurrect [[Sanguinius]].
# Tell him how much I missed him.
# Resurrect [[Ferrus Manus]].
# Tell him how much I didn't miss him.
# Find Leman Russ, Corvus Corax, Jaghatai Khan and Vulcan then get their asses back to battlefield.
# Tell the [[Dark Angels]] I forgive them so they stop being emo and ambiguously heretical, and they can get back to kicking the asses of my enemies
# Sit down and a have a cup of tea. Because it's just been that fucking long.
# Find a way to re-create Horus's soul and then destroy it again.
# Then do it again.
# Put a new password on my computer to stop all these heretics from accessing my damn list!
# Buy a really big gun to gather a load of Orks and shit in the middle of nowhere...
# ...then Virus Bomb said area......
# Take a dump on the Golden Throne.
# Congratulate [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]].
# Go out on a shopping day to buy a new outfit, because this golden armor set is just ''SO'' 10 millennia ago.
# Order the Inquisition to torture the fuck out of EA's board of directors.
# Use proceeds to pay for Power Armor for every front line soldier in the Imperial Guard. Commissars get Terminator Armor.
# Modify the Imperial Palace to be able to transform into "GabeN Emperor Class Super Titan".
# Play [[Matt Ward]] in a game of Warhammer 40K. Let him build the ultimate broken [[Ultramarines]]/[[Grey Knights]] army. Destroy him in the first round with a [[Sisters of Battle]] army.
## Fuck that, a Imperial Guard army.
## Collect tears of [[butthurt]] and despair from him losing.
# Go back in time and reduce the prices at [[Games Workshop]].
# Unfuck the galaxy (again).
## Then proceed to make sure it won't be fucked again.
### Without annihilating all sentient beings (and therefore killing [[chaos]]) and destroying the universe without causing it to crunch.
# Adopt [[Cultist-Chan]]. Hire a dialect coach and orthodontist for her.
# Find a [[Tarrasque]] and make it [[Emprahsque|my personal pet]].
# Commend [[Captain Titus]] for not succumbing to Ultramarine stereotypes. Conclude the ceremony by striking Brother Leandros (the ungrateful fucking smurf) in the testicles with a thunder hammer.
# Get some Preparation H from the Apothecaries.
# Revise Imperial naval doctrine to emphasize that SPACE IS NOT A FUCKING OCEAN!
# Write a best-selling autobiography.
# Buy a shop-vac and drain [[Khorne]]'s lake of blood. Dump hydrofluoric acid on his skull pile until it is a calcium slurry. Laugh scornfully at Khorne's unbelievable [[rage]] as the work of centuries goes to waste in a few hours.
# Tell everyone to cheer up. The universe is [[grimdark|depressing]] enough, I don't need an entire [[Imperium|empire]] worth of wangst.
# Create a chastity belt out of [[necrodermis]] and put it on Slaanesh. Then create a matching ballgag and shackles in case the fucker might get creative. [[Not as planned|This won't get kinkier, won't it?]]
# [[Blood Bowl|Introduce football to Orks and create elaborate stadiums, as to distract them from killing us.]]
# Weaponize a [[Sonic Weaponry|vuvuzela]] and beat a [[Noise Marine]] with it.
# Get new ballpoint pens because this damn list is draining the ink.
# Create a new space marine chapter dedicated to making pens with holiness.
# Consider ways to liven up sports with the introduction of power armor/fists.
# Disband the [[Ultramarines]] Chapter and show [[Matt Ward]] what has been done as part of the torture.
## If [[Not as planned]] occurs and [[Matt Ward]] ignores you ROB him into the most applicable
# <s>Revive the [[Squats]].{{BLAM}}{{BLAM|Squats are Heresy!}} Bitch, I am the mother fucking EMPEROR.</s> Make sure Squats are here to stay forever.
# Piss on Horus' maggoty, heretical corpse.
# Resurrect Horus again and beat him to an inch away from death, then put him in life support/stasis for 10,000 years and make sure he feels every second of it- lets see how he likes being in agony for countless millenia.
# Teach the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] there is no such thing as machine spirits, and tell them they can start using AI and computers more. See notes regarding Imperial Navy for immediately apparent uses. Then shit an Imperial Palace worth of bricks as the Void Dragon takes over everything and the Age of Strife happens all over again.
# Congratulate The Legion Of The Damned.
# Give the remaining Lamenters a hug. They deserve it.
# Determine if sexual virility has remained intact. If not, demand the necessary supplements under pain of death.
# Dominate a Sister of Battle in bed.
# Find a way to build [[Blackstone Fortress]]es.
## Use as part of plan to shoot the Eye of Terror out of existence.
# Deal with all the spam on 1d4chan.
# Bring back Warhammer Wednesday.
# Make a 40K version of [[Blood bowl]].
# Make Blood bowl the Imperium's official sport.
# Invite the [[Eldar]], [[Chaos]] and the [[Ork]] forces to participate in Blood Bowl games, proceed to rig every game. [[Just as planned]].
# Kill Gorgutz, If he doesn't run away from the fight, like he did on Lorn, Kronus and Karauva.
# Create for myself a massive golden space-caddy to roll around the Imperium and fuck bitches in.
# Train the commissars to stop executing their own men and start executing Furries that are useless instead.
# Officially recognize the reasonable marines as the Knights Inductor. I need a Space Marine chapter that doesn't go trigger happy when they encounter heresy and xenos.
# take a vacation to pen island
# Make a chapter of Space Marines born from clones of [[Simo Hayha]] that is justifiably overpowered in the tabletop.
# Get at least one Space Marine commander, preferably a Grey Knight, in some future Warhammer game to be voiced by James Earl Jones.
## Get a high ranking character in said game to be voiced by Morgan Freeman.
# Eat a pie with a live Carnifex inside with the aid of sauces.
# Look disapprovingly at the Ecclesiarchy then bitch-slap the priests.
# Reintroduce the [[Imperial Truth]], but this time, inform my citizens and soldiers of the dangers of Chaos and how to prevent it from infecting them.
## No wait, that's a terrible idea. Faith hurt's Chaos and religion gives guidance and hope to the masses. It's the stupid Imperial government that kept going ape about heresy and killing people. Since worship apprently ''doesn't'' feed Chaos, there is no point to the Imperial Truth except the Manifest Destiny part.
# Overhaul the Imperial Guard's stance on martial justice. If I happen to catch a Commissar shooting a recruit out of a meaningless quibble, I will beat him with my bare fists and he will have to be permanently accompanied by a servo-skull equipped with a colostomy bag. {{BLAM| <b> Commissar reasonable agrees </b>}}
# Research ways to prepare Orks as a palatable substitute for Corpse Starch rations, much like the ancient Terran food product "Quorn." Would also increase morale among common soldiers, as they would treat a WAAAGH like a Grox dinner with Amasec on legs.
# Find way to make bolt-mounted power field generators feasible? Perhaps I should look at the Angry Marines' Adamantine Sack of Power Doorknobs...
## Also, see about powerfields on the shells fired by weapons batteries on Navy ships. That would be hilarious and awesome.
# Place an Imperial edict forbidding the use of Baroque and Gothic architecture. Who knows how many resources were spent gilding those fucking stupid space cathedrals?
# Use a hive city as a tooth pick.
# Make a new edition of Epic Armageddon.
# Try to domesticate some Tyranids so that we can ride them like war horses or some shit. I don't think it will work (then again the Orks managed to do it) but I just want to see if we can manage it. Besides even if it doesn't work it will probably be a fun experience (assuming nobody gets eaten).
# Crush [[Doomrider]] into a fine powder and snort him.
# Party with [[Pedro Kantor]] and promote him to Imperial Fist primarch.
# Invent a way to make female marines, and give them all to the [[Crimson Fists]] and blood angels. Those poor bastards need it.
## Before that, gather all those who demanded that female space marines should be created and have them explain the concept to the Adepta Sororitas.
## Revive Malcador, then wed him to the most muscled sister I can find. After the honey moon period, ask him what he thinks of the concept of "making them all sisters".
### Legalize polygamy should he still agree.
## Realize that it is rare for women to even try to join the military and that the tests for Space Marines kill all but the strongest and most durable men out of trillions. Oops.
### Send the handful of dead female aspirants family's an apology letter and some money.
# Introduce the Angry Marines to megaphones.
# Establish the Adeptus Astartes Legions once again and rewrite the Codex Astartes to emphasize tactical and strategic flexibility. Arrange a checks and balances system similar to the [[Iron Hands]] for the purposes of chapter administration. Those who protest this action will be redirected to the complaints department, which happens to be located on my power fist.
# DESIGN AND MAKE NEW SHIT (Mechanicus won't/can't do it, fucking toaster fuckers)
# Give a [[Honey Badger]] power armor and use it as a weapon.
# Name said Honey Badger Chapter Master of the [[Angry Marines]]. They're gonna love it.
# Build a Tank to crush a MOTHERFUCKING BANEBLADE.
# Give it to Yarrick as a present.
# Invent Krak-Grenade Tennis with Thunder Hammers for rackets.
# Invent Krak-Grenade Baseball with Thunder Hammers for bats.
# Invent Krak-Grenade Cricket with Thunder Hammers for bats.
# Invent Krak-Grenade Golf with Thunder Hammers for clubs.
# Beat Da Squig in a Baneblade race.
# Declare Tank Motorsports as an official sport.
# Amass a fleet of a million ships and finish kicking the shit out of everything else in the galaxy.
# Bring back the Enslavers. Then enslave them.
# Make a Baneblade the size of a Emperor Titan.
# Make a Titan the size of a Emperor class battleship.
# Make a Emperor Class battleship the size of a [[World Engine]].
# Help the Necrons to build a World Engine the size of the Eye of Terra.
## Then destroy it. Because I can.
# Steal [[Necron]] starships. Traveling the galaxy without warp drives? Fuck yeah, I want that!
# Learn how to make Tyranid calamari.
# Learn how to make Tyranid Tika Masala.
# Learn how to make Tyranid Sushi.
# Play hide and seek with Sly Marbo and with the Tanith First (and Only) guys. It'll be interesting to see why they can't find the deity of Mankind who wears Golden Power Armour and is over three meters tall.
# Declare Catachan Exploding Turtles (dubbed "Mine Turtles" by the local populace) an endangered species. Seriously, these things explode all over the fucking place.
# Find a way to get a truce with the Eldar and/or Tau Empire, then throw a galaxy and webway-wide party with said allies
# Outlaw the appellations Empy, Emprah, Big E and so on. Not addressing me with my real name is [[Heresy]]!
# Dissolve the Ecclesiarchy. I hate those creepy fucks.
# Ask Officio Assassinorum about drugs they using on Eversors, then start selling it in Commorragh. If you can't defeat them, make money on them, I always say that
# After my Imperial Dealers completely take over the city, have them kick dark eldar as back to hell where they belong.
# Then fill this place with so much sex, drugs and gambling that it will put <s>Las Vegas</s> [[Asdrubael Vect|Dicky Drubby]] to shame.
# And there will be [[Daemonette|daemonettes]] serving drinks, or you can call me "Emprah"
# Open a zoo with [[METAL BOXES|rhinos in metal cages]]. Any visitors will be executed as heretics.
# Encourage creative thinking, like "there is better way to use guardsmen than suicidal wave" or "not everyone is heretic and need to be destroyed" among my forces
# Pay orks to make me another life-sustaining device. As long they believe it works, it works - because it's really piss me off that MOST POWERFUL PSYCHIC in the whole space can't keep himself in shape.
# Hire a squad of orks, then order them to loot vehicles of other races - soon the looted-monoliths and looted-mantas will conquer the world
# Pay a visit to Tau, then show them the meaning of old terran saying "better dead than red". Or blue, in that case. Blue-faced reds are enough blasphemy in MY GALAXY
# Promptly remember that the Soviet Union under Stalin was still more benevolent and just than the Imperium in my millennia long bath room break.
## Then remember that the Imperium before said bathroom break was more prone to exterminatus and mass-slaughter and intense atrocities than the grimderp Imperium.
### Well, shit, that's embarassing.
# Get off the damn throne and find something suitable to wipe my own ass ..... ohh look a Grey Knight.
# Lure every furfag to an unused planet using [[Faptau]] and [[Shlicktau]] as bait, then utilize any form of Exterminatus, thus solving the galaxy-wide furfag problem.
##Not those that make themselves useful.
## They'd fuck the [[Felinids]] anyways.
# Send a whole fucking legion of speesh mareeens to Mars and get them to finally clear out all the rogue robots from thousands of years ago living in the catacombs below Mars.
# Realize my mistakes as a father and further realize that my sons have actual emotions and stabbing them in the back/humiliating them/letting those with obvious problems lead legions of dedicated killers might not have been the best idea so I know what to do when I make Primarch Project, Part two.
# Launch a cross dimensional crusade to destroy all [[chakats|CHAKATS]]!
# [[Doctor Who|Hire the Atraxi to blow up a planet, but only give them 19 minutes to do so.]]
# Steal all of Trazyn's artifacts leaving behind a note with kindest regards.
# ENGAGE HIVE MIND IN PHYSIC DUEL
##USE PHYKER-DESTROYING-FINISHING MOVE. RANGE: GALAXY!
##FIX THE REST OF THE PSYKERS IN THE GALAXY, One Howling was bad enough.
##Re-learn how to spell psyker, and psychic. I invented those words, dammit!
# Beat up Khorne while dressed as Slaanesh.
# Bleach memory of having dressed as Slaanesh from brain.
# Rebuild the Avatar of Khaine from the 2 Bajillion Pieces, then lock him and Slaanesh in a cage. Shatter whoever lives into 4 Bajillion Pieces, and hide the 4 Bajillion Pieces with Creed.
# Challenge a Dreadnought to a fist fight.
# Stand on the bow of a Battle Barge and shout "[[Eye of Terror|Fly me closer]], I want to [[Chaos Gods|hit them]] with my sword!"(Destination:Eye of Terror, Targets:Chaos Gods)
# Throw [[Space Wolves]] an [[Ultramarine]] bone; quality family time.
# Play laser tag with [[Lasgun|flashlights]].
# Bring back [[Konrad Curze]], fix his brain, and then get him to explain what he was rambling on about just before he died.
# Clone [[Judge Dredd]] and use said clones to replace the Adeptus Arbites.
# Create a training system for the Imperial Guard so my citizens are more effective than glorified meat shields.
# Create a Chapter of Space Marines made up of only Pariahs just to troll Tzeentch.
# Give some nice relics to the [[Celestial Lions]] to help them rebuild. Inform Inquisitors that a loyal Space Marines chapter complaining about an Exterminatus after the chapter has taken out the actual heretics is no reason to get all pissy. Send the Inquisitors that got all upset about that into a Ork WAAAGHHH! to look for Ork Snipers.
# Replace the Imperial Guard's vehicles after chassis that weren't considered obsolete by World War II in exchange for stuff that's more functional. Also find out why the hell I thought that was a smart idea in the first place.
# Improve ship design so that time and resources aren't wasted putting details on making the sides of the ship look like cathedrals and including over-sized figureheads that serve no practical use.
# Kill Chuck Norris and disprove all the "facts" about him, they have no place in the Imperial Truth.
## He is too manly to simply be worhshipped as a mere "god". He is Chuck Norris.
# Make the Space Wolves to be accompanied by <s>Sabaton</s> Amon Amarth as they play 24/7.
# Make an ironically underpowered Codex: Matt Ward.
# Rewrite the sisters of battle codex. My bitches need some love.
## And some gigantism fun with their Astartes brothers.
# Build a Fucking anti-grav hammerhead baneblade combo.
# Tell [[Dorn]] and [[Perturabo]] to kiss and make up.
# Get my wallet back from the [[blood magpies]].
# Steal [[Ahriman]]'s library card.
# Bring [[Carron]] back, and lock him in a METAL BAWKS as a prison.
# Go to Mars, punch the Void Dragon back to Terra, teleport to Terra and punch it back to Mars. Afterwards go ask the Mechanicus where's their Machine GabeN.
# make a deal with the Hive Mind to eat everything except the Imperium.
## breed giant carnifex to eat the eye of Terror.
## give the jeanstealer some jeans.
## Preferably from Abercrombie and Fitch
# Get my hands on some Ethereal pheromones, then use them to get the Tau to join the Imperium, just as planned. Then sterilize those weebs as a taste of their own medicine.
# Lead a live re enactment of D-Day using guardsmen and cultists.
# Glue my model of Abaddon's arms on, rip the real Abaddon's arms off and proceed to beat him to death with them.
# Resurrect Horus for round 2 and FUCK HIM UP...... More than last time. Oorah.
# Tell Games Workshop that fucking axes aren't unwieldy! Seriously, how are fucking augmented super humans in fucking powered armor in any way slowed by a slightly heavy fucking stick?!
## I mean all the weight of an axe is focused in a pretty hard to control spot by a kinesthetics standpoint unless you want to break your wrist trying to stop a massive weight moving super fast with a relatively small handle. And with them being Space Marines, their axes are fuck hueg but sure, axes are somehow simpler to wield EVEN THOUGH fantasy and sci-fi axes are some of the most bullshit things to be devised. THIS IS WHY THEY USE SWORDS. Also axes are pretty ineffective against armor compared to hammers. Plus ineffective towards spuishies compared to swords. You only use them as a middle ground. But sure, act like you know all about weapons and nerdrage. Ok.
# Destroy the metaphorical shark so that no franchise can ever jump it again.
# Throw Michael Grade into a woodchipper. Then have the wood chipper dismantled and melted into slag for getting Michael Grade's filth (I.E, any piece of him) on it.
# Learn [[Doctor Who|the Doctor]]'s real name.
# Catch em all.
# Become the King of Games.
## Including [[FATAL]]
# Rip off a Stompa's "Super Scorcha" and use it to make Tyranid toast. Because i'm just so damn hungry after counting the dead bodies.
# Steal skulls from khorne's throne and taunt an'ggrath with them as I teleport back to terra.
# Go to sleep. What? I'm fucking sleepy and I have not had a descent sleep in ages.
# Drop that hole Latin/High Gothic thingy as an official language, seriously WTF was I thinking when naming Adeptus Mechanicus, Astartes and Astra Militarum.
# Make my own animation studio to make adaptations of [[anime]] based on manga that didn't get finished.
# Use profits as part of my ongoing plan to become majority shareholder of Google.
# Put an end to youtube's copyright policy, then find those asshats that put came up with it and make them eat their own bones.
# Watch TV
# Fuck some shit up
# Fuck some sluts up
# Fuck some ca/tg/girls up
# Firebomb /mlp/ Seriously, I don't fucking care about MLP but that board is pure NOPE.
# Get some 'nids and let them rip those fucking PETA douche bags to fucking mincemeat.
# Fuck some more sluts up. Oh yeah.
# Get some Taco Bell.
# Close McDonalds.
# Open Bembos
# Watch the last airbender (Anime series not the fucking m night shyamalan peice of shit).
# Burn the Legend of Whorra.
# Kill M. Night Shyamalan and piss on his corpse
# Make melta explosives that can be fired from missile launchers, I'm sick of having to always get in the enemy's face to use metla weapons.
# Get the internet to shut up about Call of Duty(this does include any other ones as well),.<s>I'm</s>,(No everyone else with a life) is sick of hearing about it.
# Out tank astra with a rhino, because why not?!
# give orks something that can make a loud noise and can finally do shit.
# Release the Kraken and after it has finished destroying the enemies of Mankind, proceed to turn it into calamari.
# Eat pie, I like pie.
# Check progress on Grey Knight attempts to cross-breed Saiyans and Kryptonians for any females.
## Also progress on capturing/persuading Samus Aran to become a new Primarch for female Space Marines. Twice the (wo)manpower!
# Marry said females, that will scare off that [[Strike Legion|scary Empress bitch]].
# Sort out the contradictions in this list. Thing's a fucking mess.
# Commit fraud.
# Disband the Church of Scientology and send all the criminals in it to Guantanamo for crimes against humanity.
# Defeat the Reapers.
## Hi this is Commander Shepard, and GW is my favorite store on the Citadel.
# Get Kaldor Draigo into an intervention because he's hooked on fucking Warp Dust.
# Light my scented candle collection for proper relaxation.
# Collect all Crux Terminus badges so I can put my Golden Armour back together.
# Come up with the most absurd, annoying, head wrenching question I possibly can.
# Ask it repeatedly to that Zathras tool and laugh as his brain explodes.
# Create a giant can of bug spray and use it on all of the Tyranids
# Make Captain Titus Papa Smurf. We need someone who can make decisions without reading the book Rowboat Girlyman wrote 10,000 years ago.
# Steal the blood ravens
# Everyones mother.
# Track down the Timelord known as the Doctor, shake his hand, break his hand, kick his ass, steal the TARDIS and use it for the betterment of the imperium.
# Do some stretching because 10,000 years will give you such a crick in the neck!
# Resurrect Robin Williams for some decent propaganda.
# Drop kick a Hive Tyrant into the sun.
# Order a pizza, because it's been fucking years since I had take away food.
## Maybe order enough for my Custodes. They need some free time too.
# Find a xenos controlled planet, and bomb the fuck out of the filthy xenos scum! Note to self: Orks are probably easiest.
# Astrally visit other space opera universes to see how they do things, then make fun of them.
## Starting with Space Balls
# Find some more things to do.
# Find a living Astral knight,
# Find a cloning device for said Astral Knight,
# Create a Primarch for Astral Knight 2.0.
# Forgive the people of Krieg of their 1000 year old rebellion and tell them to stop being meatshields. Well, bigger meatshields than the guard usually are.
## They can even feel pride for being decent human beings again!
# Make deep strike safer so we don't have to fucking kill all the terminators
# Shoot whoever started the whole 'maetal bawkses' thing. I mean, Jesus, rhinos are elaborate machinery!
# Tell the Orks they're drunk and should go home.
# After collecting all the crux terminatus pieces, sell them on eBay and give all the money to THQ so they can finally fucking make Dark Millennium Online.
# Make warp dust into a smokable drug.
# Tell the Angry Marines to fuck themselves and thus piss them off even more.
# Make the Imperial Guard useful.
# Kill whoever wrote the last entry for extreme heresy.
# Give Commissar Yarrick better stats.
# Slap each and every [[Blood Angel]] for ever siding with or allowing their Battle-brothers to side with Necrons, at any point.
# Do a Word Bearers with said Blood Angels - in front of Guilliman's <s>preserved</s> body.
# Teach all my children's Legions that I made each of them different for a reason. Inform Ultramarines to "think of the next step" if things don't go as planned but tell them it's nothing personal. <s>Do CPR to Guilliman.</s> Already done.
# Give each guardsmen a pair of brass balls to intimidate their enemies/allies with.
# Trazyn was here.
# kill the idiot that didn't actually contribute and instead just signed his name.
# Eldrad was here too.
# CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDD.
# Find and anally rape <s>a Daemonette</s> Slaanesh.
# Take pictures of Schlicktau and give them to Faptau and Vice-versa
# Put a Giant Fleshlight in to a Emperor class Titan just to have another one fuck it/Fuck it himself
# Have a Ultramarine get lost in it.
# Make everyone look at Daemonette Titties for 1 hour a week.
# Install a Slut dispenser into the Golden Throne.
# Have Ultramarines drink alcohol so they are not so fucking boring. They might not be able to get drunk off of it, but that's what the elephant tranquillizer is for.
# Find out where my [[Sisters of Silence|Bitches of Silence]] went.
## How the fuck did Guilliman get them to come out of hiding.
## Girls love smurfs.
# Find the Sanguinor and beat him in a duel.
# Following my inevitable victory against the Sanguinor, find out who the fuck he is and bitch slap him. If he is Sanguinius he deserved it for not announcing himself for who he is and not fixing my <s>crumbling empi</s> <=HERESY. If he is not Sanguinius he gets another bitch slap for impersonating my second favorite son.
# Set the record straight regarding Ollanius Pius.
# Get Jango Fett to lead storm troopers.
## Clone him
## Use his gene-seed to create an army of Bounty Marines
## Get them to assassinate all the assassins
## Get them to assassinate the Assassino ministorum.
## Make them the new Assassino ministorum.
## Do not let him have a son. I don't want to deal with a Sarlacc pit every few years
# Organize the marriage of Miranda Nero and Captain Titus. If they wanted the plot of Space Marine, those two would've ended up getting married.
# On that note, I should allow Space Marines time to copulate with strong females. Would allow for a greater number of compatible gene seed initiates.
# Canonize Robin Willams [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Williams] as a mother fucking Imperial Saint. Why? Because I like to laugh and he makes me feel good. THAT'S WHY!
# Resurrect [[Lord Solar Macharius]] as he seemed like a pretty competent general as well as a tactical genius.
## And heal his War Wounds so he can be fully badass.
# Play Cards Against Humanity.
# Resurrect those dumbass Inquisitors who started a war with the [[Space Wolves]] and then execute them as example for how fucking stupid they were
# By any means necessary get it into the Inquisition's thick skulls that they were wrong for a starting a war with the Space Wolves and apologize for being heartless dumbshits.
# Get some proper aircraft. We fucking need 'em.
# Change the battle doctrine of the Imperial Guard to rely more on air superiority and less on throwing waves of men and tanks the enemy.
# Cure [[Indrick Boreale]] of his speech impediment (and death).
# Find Vulkan
# Give him a hug and the rest of his Chapter too.
# Troll Trazyn the Infinite and steal his everything.
# Build an army of sexy robot waifus that don't need to carry weapons because they everything the need built into them. If some animes and JRPGs can do it then I can do it better. Also make them all lesbians
# Figure out which branch of the Imperium to put the above army into.
# Convince all orks that I'm the most powerful being in the universe and that I can't be killed.
# Include an online tutorial on Games Workshops' website for each game it sells. If it's good enough for Privateer Press and Fantasy Flight Games it's good enough for us.
# Do away with the practice of separating Terminator Squads between ranged and assault. The Dark Angels made the idea work and Terminators don't carry anything that warrants staying at long range as it is.
# Go back to before the Age of Strife and steal/reclaim all the the lost [[Standard Template Construct| STCs]], and whole Forge Worlds if necessary.
# Mass produce skimmer [[Fellblade| felblades]].
# Destroy all overused [[meme| memes]].
# Help the [[Necrons| 'crons]] reach their apotheosis thing, and then have the Angry Marines Cock nob 'em so they don't fuck with my Imperium.
# Get those two [[Sisters of Battle]] to confess to each other already. Seriously. I'm tired of them acting awkward and shy around each other when they are clearly in love.
# Install a speech device on the golden throne, just incase I need to fix the Imperium's fuckups if i fall asleep on the job again.
# Snort some warp dust.
# Stop the custodians from oiling themselves up and actually do somthing fucking useful
## How did Girlyman get them to do something.
# Give the Ultramarines a new role, as dog sitters for the Space Wolves.
## Correction: The Space Corgis
# Give the Dreadknight pilots a badass helmet or something so snipers don't destroy them
## Fuck, just make them tall Centurions at this point. Would be more effective than the stilts they are now.
# Go into the Rock and either bitchslap Luther or the Lion depending on who the Watchers in the Dark tattle on
# Upgrade all Imperial [[Titans]] so they can fly
# Find out what Watchers in the Dark actually look like under their robes.
# Find out what [[Angels Sanguine]] faces look like under their helmets. Bitch slap them - in the face (if it is actually possible). Every single one of them.
# Resurrect Relic, and ensure that they make the rest of the Space Marine Series, Titus deserves to be a motherfucking Primarch
# Make it imperial law that at least once a year every guardsman in the universe is allowed one free beer for the shit they do, hopefully that should prevent their temptation to go heretic on my arse
# Also, make a chain sword, sword chain to literally whip the imperium back into shape.
# Hold the Primarch of the year awards ceremony again, hopefully Horus can stay away this time.
# Prevent the victory of Chaos in [[The End Times]] so that Games Workshop has to advance the story instead of pulling a shit reboot that changes nothing
## Expect making Ground Marines and changing race names for no reason.
## Fuck you Mannfred.
# <s>Declare non-furry aliens that can interbreed with humans and have fertile off-spring close enough to being humans</s>{{BLAM}}
## So [[Love Can Bloom]] is a thing then. Well then my Webway for Eldar hookers isn't a lost cause then!
# Get better cooperation the Imperial Navy and Imperial Guard. I lose far too many brave gaurdsmen because the navy's incompetence leaves them without air support!
## COMBINED ARMS PEOPLE, THIS IS WHY WE HAVE MANUALS.
# <s>bring back the squats</s>{{BLAM}} {{BLAM|kill ALL the xenos!}}
## And bring the Demiurg too.
# Demote [[Commander Kubrik Chenkov]] because that idiot isn't fit to lead a parade, and put him in some random platoon that's never heard of him where he might actually kill more enemies than guardsmen.
# <s>Grab those Eldar and tau plasma weapons. I am not letting highly explosive weapons to stay in use. Seriously, It is like playing Russian Roulette with a [[Exterminatus]]</s>not needed anymore as the mechanicus had finally repaired it so that said russian roulette will only happen if the user overcharges the gun
## Also, get the laser rifles. NO. MOAAAR. FASHLIGGHTSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
# Pat the Black Dragons on the back for putting up with all the shit that's thrown at them.
# Buy out Google and enforce Fair Use on Youtube with an iron fist.
# Berate the Adeptus Custodus for not preventing Goge Vandire's rise to power. Lazy fucks being lazy led to the worst thing for mankind since the Horus Heresy.
## Although considering they would much rather oil themselves, I'm guessing Vandire just bribed them with super lubricant.
# Steal a World Engine and start destroying Daemon Worlds with it.
# Have a backup plan for destroying Daemon Worlds if the World Engine can't do that.
# Finally defeat Leman Russ in an eating contest and a drinking contest.
# Find the Black Library and empty its contents. Then wreck it.
# Bring Ahriman to it and then trick him into thinking that the Black Library was just an elaborate hoax to troll him.
# Punish the Grey Knights for turning on the Space Wolves and not chopping the heads off those dumbass Inquisitors who decided the appropriate response to the Space Wolves wanting to spare the survivors of the Armageddon War was to try and kill them.
# Macha. Should. Be. FUCKED.
# Stop this whole "treating beastmen like mutants" thing. I did make them CITIZENS for a reason.
## I mean,they look better than all the gaunt, Necron looking women in the Imperium. I need a release too.
## <s>You know what? Furries are citizens too, so no more of this "furfaggotry" bullshit. I'd like you to show me something that could track a fucking mouse in a blizzard. Other than a space wolf.</s> {{BLAM}} EXTRA FUCKING HERESY YOU FUCKING FURFAG!
## A Felinid. We made them citizens so the others won't have bullshit arguments like this to be welcomed in.
## Bottle said tear, and give it to Girlyman. Then he might actually man up.
# Mix Speed, weed, heroin, cocaine, mushrooms, LSD, tobacco, pine-o-clean, petrol, diesel, battery acid, acid, salvia, some herbs and spices, some lettuce and tomato, some salt and vinegar, noodles, pretzels, pork scratchings, some doner kebab, vodka sauce, tabasco sauce, bam and the dirt is gone, red bull, Coca-Cola, Ajax spray and wipe, liquid hydrogen, protein shakes, some chicken and cheese, hash browns, jalapeno peppers, curry and wrap it all in a tortilla.
## Eat it.
## Make Leman Russ eat it.
## Make the hive mind eat it.
## Make Doomrider eat it. Laugh as his lightweight head explodes.
# Schola Progenium harem anime
## Starring [[Lucius the Eternal]]
# Visit that planet where I keep all of my pets. THEY BUILT A CITY!?
# Rematch the Void Dragon at that fight. Have the mechanicus duff all the others up.
# Get the mechanicus to make me an amp and a massive fucking pair of speakers, then attach them to a Baneblade, then plug in my holy guitar and shred so hard I make the Ordinatus Mars look like a disappointing fart.
# Bring back Warhammer Fantasy.
# Bring Horus back to life and kill him again.
# Find Mortarion and give him a bath.
# Find where those 100 Baneblades went...
# Have AdMec convert an Imperator Titan into my new power armor.
# Release an edict as to which order the gifts go in the song "The Twelve days of the feast of My ascension".
# Get Games Workshops to put free digital copies of all out of date codexes and army books on their website so fans of old books can still read them.
# Drain Khorn's blood lake, then eat his khorn flakes while watching sitting in his throne and watching something noblebright.
# Give Nurgle's garden a good spring cleaning, then perma-pork Isha.
# Delete Slaanesh's porn collection, then replace her crack with sugar.
## Also, create a extra strength anti-viagra and mix it in with the sugar.
## And whatever is the opposite of laxatives and mix that in with the sugar too.
# Ghostbust Tzeench's tower, then [[Blood Ravens|steal]] his change.
# If I have time, kill Khorn with kindness, kill Slaanesh with boredom, kill Nurgle with Mr. Clean, and kill Tzeench with Warhammer 40k's plot progression.
# Housebreak the [[Space Wolves|space corgis]].
# Make carnifex choke on a [[Ultramarines|smurf]] see what color it turns.
# Make a Warhammer fighting game
# Punch [[Lorgar]] in the face.
## Make him fuck the Lectio Divinitatus with sandpaper pages.
# <s>Punch the fucker who Blam'd me when I made numbers 441 and 443</s>{{BLAM}}
# {{BLAM}} a commissar cause it'll be funny
# Steal one of those [[Necron]] pylons and put them on Terra so that I no longer have to keep trying to not let it become a new Eye of Terror.
# <s>Make skub usage mandatory for all guardsmen</s>{{BLAM}}
# Catch all the C'tan shards and become the very best, the best that ever was.
# Give the Orks their home-world back. Those damn toaster fuckers on mars had no right to teleport it away and it turn it into Armageddon.
# Walk into [[Commorragh]], out troll and out dick [[Asdrubael Vect]], then bitch slap him to death in front of everyone in Commorragh.
## Then fuck [[Lelith Hesperax]] to death before I leave.
# Point out to AdMec that their statement that all technology already exists logically renders innovation impossible, as any attempt would only reproduce something that already exits. Secondly, some STC technology would be otherwise lost permanently. How's that for Divine Inspiration from the Omnissiah.
# Keep sending [[Kor'Sarro Khan]] to fight the Space Communists.
## <s>make sure he and Shadowsun get it on.</s>{{BLAM}} {{BLAM|Heresy!}}
## PROFIT.
# Kill all the Inquisitors who think it's a good idea to kill all [[Astropath|Astropaths]] and [[Navigator|Navigators]] (who we need to stop the Imperium falling apart), and [[Space Marines]] (because they are fucking awesome)
# Kill all the Inquisitors who thought that me dying and reincarnating into someone else was a good idea.
# Build a gun with enough [[Dakka]].
## Show it to the Orks.
## Let them fire at me til they run out of ammo.
## Laugh
## Show the Orks a gun with more than enough Dakka, and blast the shit out of them.
# Kill [[Lucius|Lucius the Eternal]] for good, as he can't possess me.
## Then resurrect everyone who got possessed, kill any Xenos and Chaos Worshippers who killed him, and bro fist anyone from the Imperium who killed him for being able to kill him.
# Dance, just do a little dance, I was stuck in a chair for 10000 years, it would feel good to move.
# Give the Lamenters a hug, they need it.
# Find out what the Blood R- chapter is from the bananastodes.
## And play the holo-game Dawn of War. I hear it's worth playing.
# Play Stellaris as Xenophobic/Militant Humans to see what the Great Crusade could have been.
# Make a Primarch out of the Commander of X-COM because he is far more competent than anyone in the Imperium.
# Attend Angelos' and Macha's wedding.
## And them promptly allow Eldrad to fuck shit up.
# Give my Caretaker Kitten pay since he doesn't get any
## Then send him to get tea
## And Carnifex crumpets
# Keep an eye on Rowboat Girlyman's waifu.
## Fuck, how many Primarchs, Space Marines, and Chapter masters have girlfriends now? Even if there isn't an actual connection?
## Keep an eye on the shippers.
### But don't read the fanfics.
# Cut off Faptau and Shlichtau hands.
# Eat a meatbread
# Rub some skrub on me bones, yarr.
# Work out that crick in my lower back.
# Go to Emprah Burger and get an Empy meal.
# Go back in time to finish the webway project and get Eldar prostitutes for myself and my sons. That should stop them from bitching constantly.
# Punch all the [[Marines Malevolent]] for being such dicks.
# Thank the [[Lamenters]] for getting shit done.
# Bitch-slap Guilliman for being a douchebag smurf.
# Bitch-slap the rest of the Ultratwats.
# Have my daily time with adorable centurion.
# Yell at the Inquisition and Grey Knights for thinking the Dark Angels are heretics.
# Officially rename the Primaris Primarysues.
# Drink ten pots of esspresso. Seriously, sitting stationary for about eleven millenia makes you need energy.
# Convince Ynnead to bring Sanguinius back to life. Then make him lord-commander of the Imperium.
# Make the battle cry of all gaurdsmen under twenty to be "For de Imperwium, oh fuck I dwopped my bwanket".
# Congratulate [[Dante]]
# Find out if Dante is who [[Sanguinius]] was talking about in his scrolls.
# Go get Magnymagic.
## Then screw him over in a game of Magic The Gathering with a mono-green deck.
## Subsequently keep screwing him over by psychically rigging every game.
# Find our who the fuck let Goge Vandire rule the Imperium and dickslap them.
# put a warp drive into a rhino and fly into the eye of terror, screaming MEATLE BAWKSERS because why the fuck not.
# Make Sly Marbo the ruler of the imperium because I need to catch up on shit that I missed while sitting on a motherfucking mechanical toilet for the the 10,000 fucking years!
# Tell mortaring to have a bath.
# Tell Abaddon to Grow a pair (of arms).
# Decide if traps are gay or not.
# Go digging through the ruins of Old Earth and find some tank designs from late M2/early M3.
# Figure out if Sly Marbo can talk.
## Or make any vocalizations other than "AAAAAAAAA," for that matter.
# I don't know, maybe get some tacos again
# Read this big fuck off list.
# Remove the numbers from the list, because it is supposed to be in no particular order
# Find the surviving Flame Falcons and help them rebuild. Then mind-fuck the inquisitor who declared them traitors.
# Steal a spacehulk, then take said spacehulk and pimp the fuck out of it.
## And after that is done, ram it in to that shit hole commorragh.
## But make sure to steal the drugs first before i do that.
# Assign entire regiments worth of sisters to every veteran regiment in the empire, those guardsmen need some lovin, and fire support.
## Name said sisters "whores of battle" and make them wear white robes, all for morale of course totally not to start filiming some hot guard on sister action.
### Which has nothing to do with sending a bunch of men-starved women to fight beside ''the'' most manly, courageous, manly, hardcore manly badasses in all of human existence.
# Figure out how to reverse entropy.
# Resurrect lieutenant Kage and bitch slap the daemon out of him, Then put him under Colonel Schaeffer again he's still got a Me damned job to do, Kage had figured it all out in the end also Resurrect lorii and make her a sister of battle.
# Carve a dick onto Guilliman's Helmet.
# Give Archmagos Cawl Tenure for actually being intelligent enough to improve the astartes design.
# Make an extermination service for Tyranids.
# Turn every First Founding chapter into a legion again.
# Simultaneously whip and nae nae
#Challenge Gork and Mork to a boxing match
#Catch up on some reading
#Resurrect Father Uriah and admit that I was a bit of a dick. Unless he has gotten up to some chaosy bullshit in the past 10,500 years, have a theology discussion with him after all we've both learned and see if he might make a better Ecclesiarch than the current bunch.
#find my power claw, and use it to fight yarrick in a one on one claw battle
##and after that resurrect fucking horus for a rematch
#make a search engine for this fucking list, because god damn is this shit long! How the fuck am I suppose to know what has and Hasin't been written down?!?!
#N.B: Find out what happened to my massive, uber awesome, Imperator Sonninum flagship. It is essential for the Great Crusade to begin anew
#Get therapy for my multiple personality disorder that is obviously the cause of the countless contradictions in this list
#Teach the [[Black Templars]] to not going around killing psykers, because the Imperium needs those to function.
##Make a point of emphasizing that other mutants are also not to be killed, unless they are traitors. Being a mutant doesn't count as treason.
#make the imperial palace daemon proof
##look, this isn't what he said (I'm but a lowly custodian), BUT COME ON! Do you know how hard it is to write down this FUCKING arse list while also protecting the emperor from, oh it don't know, daemons, crazed religious nutters, the occasional savage ork infestation of the lower levels, retired tech priests, and don't get me stated on those trice damned inquisitors who think the inter galaxy revolves around them! So in conclusion, fuck daemons, fuck nutters, fuck orks, fuck edgy tech nerds, and trice fuck inquisitors. Thank you.
#Outslap [[Marneus Calgar]]
#Put a limiter on [[Jaghatai Khan]]'s gearbox to teach him the virtue of patience and show him what it feels like to try and drive anywhere on Terra (slow as fuck).
#Make sure evey single person in the Imperium knows about the [[Grey Knights]] and all they did in the past, that will teach them to kill loyal guardsmen for knowing of their existence.
##Then laugh as the [[Grey Knights]] slaughter thousands, thus making them more infamous.
#learn how to make attack helicopters, and no it's not so I can identify as one.
##Have all commissars shot guardsmen on site who honestly identify as an attack helicopter.
#Give Belisarius Cawl a promotion and a pat on the back for doing what the mechanicum is actually supposed to do.
#Eat some steak because I don’t want to just eat fucking comfort food and Carnifexes.
##See if cows still exist, along with pigs because bacon.
#Resurrect Elon Musk and make him Fabricator General of Mars.
#Have masterkey shotguns and M203 Grenade Launchers be standard issue for all lasguns. The Astra Militarum needs some fucking tactical flexibility.
##Give guardsmen sidearms because officers and Commissars shouldn’t be the only ones to have sidearms.
#Shove Erebus up Lorgar’s ass.
#Make those lore-video makers on YouTube be the official archivists of the Administratum. Maybe then the record keeping in the Imperium wouldn’t be so fucking spotty.
#Invite my sons over for a family dinner...may get a bit awkward between a few of them and I will need to prepare for a few holes in the wall, bolter rounds flying, chaos demons, angry Space Marines, and Vulkan bringing his jello mold he dyed [[Salamanders]] green.
#Give magnus a hug and tell him, he was a terrible son
#get 3 full legendary sets in warhammer 40k space wolf.
#play some Dawn of war 3
#Fuck everyone in the hole universe, so slanesh gets so strong that he destroys all other chaos Gods.
##????
###HOLY SHIT WHAT IS YODA DOING HERE!!!
####????????????????????????
#####VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH PROFIT
######??????????
#######?????????????????
########nope.
#Make a giant, universe - wide orgy.
#Forgive all my sons or create new sons so that I may recreate my Grand Crusade
##Make myself a god that I may stop the spread of Chaos, by becoing Chaos.
#Somehow create warpstorms inside the warp.
#Beat Nurgle in a Chilli Cook Off
##Hope he does just kill the judges
###Free the Eldar God from his Garden
####Bang Eldar God I freed from Nurgle's Garden
#Find Fulgrim's Slaanesh-possessed sword and use it in front of him without being effected purely to show him how much he sucks.
#Find the degenerates who put gay shit in my list.
#Assuming that I got to this point(Which I will). Give myself a pat in the back, because I deserve it.
#forgive magnus the red which I already have. He did not abandon his sons I respect his decision but don,t approve falling to chaos if there is why to save him I will.
#Find a girlfriend, I deserve it.
#Figure out what the missing steps are in the other items on my to do list.
#It'll be a little weird but ... Ask Erda for a date.
#Down an entire thing of Tums now that the [[Carnifex]] entrees are starting to give me tummy aches.
#Bring back Firefly.

== Gathering Storm Special List ==
Holy shit, [[Games Workshop]] are actually doing some plot development for 40k. Okay, I'll make a special list just for anything that happens there.

# Replace the batteries on my [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|text to speech device]].
# Get [[Ynnead]] to wake up fully so I have someone new to bitch-slap, but let him screw over [[Slaanesh]] first if I haven't already done it, as my time is to important to waste. Besides, the [[Eldar]] created Slaanesh, so let's give them a chance to sort it out.
## Actually make a deal with him, resurrect me or people I like if I need it (or can't be bothered to do it myself) and I won't bitchslap you.
# So [[Roboute Guilliman]] and some dude named [[Belisarius Cawl]] are creating some [[Primaris Marines|Neo-Space Marines]]. Okay, I'll see what they come up with, then make something even better.
## And definitely think of a better name than Primaris Marines.
###And tell Cawl to stop naming things after himself.
## And while I'm at it, make a super version of the Custodes, and give them even more bling.
# The [[Imperium]] has been cut in half by a massive warp storm. Okay, now I'm really pissed off. I am so going to close this.
## And the [[Eye of Terror]] has gotten bigger and enveloped Cadia. This both pisses me off and makes several points on the main list harder.
# So now [[Armageddon]] has been assaulted by a fuckton of [[Khorne]] [[daemons]]. I do hope the [[Orks]] and daemons kill each other, because it will be a pain in the ass for me to sort out.
# So [[Imotekh the Stormlord|Imotekh the Stormlord's]] empire just got a whole lot bigger, huh. Well at least the [[Tau]] has something new to fight. And the rest of them better not try anything with me, or I'll bitchslap them to death.
## And they won't be reanimating from that.
# Xenos are taking a back seat, and the focus is on the Imperium vs Chaos. Okay, I'm cool with that. Chaos really pisses me off.
## But I'm still gonna fuck over any xeno that pisses me off.
# Now that stats go above 10, I'm going to make a gun with Strength that's over 9000.
## My dick's Strength is over 9000. Just sayin.
# Set the Damocles Gulf back of fire. That was fucking awesome.
# Bitchslap the Tau's Fifth Sphere Expansion. I don't like those a good portion of blue skinned motherfuckers.
## If possible, team up with the Farsight Enclaves to bitch slap the rest of the Tau.
#Four new Hive Fleets has appeared. But one of them is eating the others. Okay, see who wins, then stomp the survivors to death.
# Wait, is there really a chance the [[Sanguinius]] will return. Well if he does I'll make him tell me where he's been and what's he been up to for the past 10,000 years, on pain of bitchslapping oh wait he was separated well than is okay carry on sanguinius.
#So [[Nurgle]] thinks he can take [[Ultramar]] for himself. Not cool. I'll going to punch the shit off him, the beat the crap out of him.
#[[Tzeentch]] is messing things up as well. I wonder, should I beat him intellectually or physically.
##Maybe punch him in the face then steal his books? He is a massive fucking nerd after all.
#How did [[Khorne]] attack [[Terra]]. He attacked my pad. As soon as I can, I'm going to find him, outrage him, then kick him in the balls so hard they explode.
##Also steal his throne.
##Then have the throne converted into golden skull decor for shits and giggles.
# Tell the AdMech that it time to start using some innovation. And reveal what secrets they've been keeping.

# Make the watchers in the dark imperial citizens and other loyal xenos loyal to the imperium I know I sanction there xeno race more than 10,000 years ago and there still keeping up a good fight
Give the surviveing men of iron a pardon produce them in limited quantities along with ai to help organize the imperium and help are navy limit there intelligence of the ai allso give the men of iorn to the navy so we don,t use more survitors or poor indentured people from serving on navy ships instead make the especially the latter, crew men and build more ships so we can solve a man power crisis will only convert people to survitors that actually deserve it.
# Instead of legion thing I’ll just do a bragged of five to ten chapters each because supreme smurf does have a point and call the task forces

# tell the imperal commanders and Guilliman wait to go for finely giving my guardsmen air support by giving the guard air support under there control
#make alternatives for Titans for the guard to use know just the thing mobile suits from a thing I watch
#make sure all guardsmen get even better equipment extreme priority
# give Koorland slaughter a eulogy That is fitting how awesome he was because that guy was a real life action hero and probably one greatest of them all and build a statue and also while I’m add it add and imperium hall of fame yeah because the imperium needs a hall of awesome
# confirm lord Dante,s appointment
#congratulate Dorn for building the web way project that I plan
#make the offico assianorium and the Adeptus Mechanicus have and American football game for a replica of the golden cog it will be play yearly
#make an anime esque series of the war of the beast with the openings being butterfly kiss rave master and change for the the imperium I love the second opening the second opening will be muv luv alternative opening and will be the imperium I love and the third opening will be the meaning of truth from f zero legend and the forth opening will be the the other side of the fog and the fifth going to be there must be something from legend of the galactic heroes op4 it is going to 125 episode ona or ova that is a more ambitious than the legend of the galactic heroes first anime for ending 1 legend of the galactic heroes ending 2 pc game first one first series for ending 1 for ending 2 revise the world from muv luv alternative eclipse for for ending number 3 legend of the galactic heroes first series song of farewell ending 4 function junction distance for ending 5 gundam ibo Ending 4 uru
#make sure space marines who survived as long as Dante automatically work on government so long as the have good character
# give the vaprol swords a parade through out terra or holy terra
#posthumously pardon vagerish for the beheading and the other things he did what he did save the imperium in the long run some one should of help him get treatment for dementia
# make primaries imperial fist successor chapters son of Koorland the sons of slaughter sons of adumenta the new fist exemplars the sons of Maximus the sons of thane sons of phall the new soul Drinkers going to be actual sons of Rogal dorms instead of adopted sons of bohmead sons of Euclydeas sons of Issachar sons of Verpall sons of Malfons sons of Magneric and the sons of Cuarrion
#give sister hospitaler the training to treat my space marines it can do everything beside that they sound do Be allowed to finish off go for the gold you go girl
# my First human hall of fame class will be all my All my loyalest primarch sabaston Thor the Great ecclecarch who made peace for two thousand years due to his actions lord commander macaraus solar the whole last wall loyalists in there entirely the founder of the sister of battle balasarus Cawl And lord commander Dante and Logan and the 10,000 year space wolf dreadnought and the current captain general of my guard Trajan valrois and vangrish did the beaheading of those former hight lord losers and all his puppet lords because those millitry guys where compident and those 50 chapter master who made a new high lords after the death vagrish not his fault he got dementia all loyalists Primarchs and the astral knights and do a eulogy service for them along with war of the beast and do and I will alway love you.
# pass Belisarius Cawl reforms pass and in extange he will have to wear an a hole of the imperium and the galaxy t shirt or robes do I think he will like that knowing him yeah but it will be hilarious
#congratulate the space marines on starting the mobile suit project
# ok I will accept I’m the worship of me as god emperor but I will make sure that I am not infallible god
#stop it with the fake trivia and stuff the average life span for normal people in the imperium of man is 70 to 80 weather people like it or not
# oh the high lords forgave kreig but they refused because they just want solace ok I’m down with that also both birth born and clone death korps guardsmen are awesome .
# arrange guilliman and yvraine marriage
# make roboute guilliman sub emperor of the imperium or man emperor of the imperium
#congratulate guilliman for making the imperium better
#give all loyalists Primarchs a big hug
# berate the custodies for not helping out during of the war beast that is worst than letting goge vandire have power
#resurrect or teleport arch formally know as arch warhammer and make him minister of imperial propaganda
# congratulation Trajan for doing a good job
# fix my keyboards shift key
## also the punctuation keys
## Apparently there was just some junk under the keys. Hard to fix when you’re a skeleton on life support.
# Get the [[Silent King]] to not murder the Imperium and sign a treaty with him.
## Seems he’s focused on Chaos and Tyranids, making this slightly easier.
#give Colquan a big public scolding for being a huge idiot because his talk borders on near treason.
# shit Constantin Valdor has betrayed this imperium and to extension mankind and all of us that is worse than betraying me capture or kill or get Constantin Valdor to explain himself which ever comes first.
#tell trajin he is my new number one .
#make a holiday or feast day for saint Marcus Achallor first custodian saint
#build space colony’s at terra language points to grow food and train Terran imperial guardsmen
# become buddies and in-laws with yinned
# Find out who's putting all these typos in my list and throw them to Crotalids. They're trying to make me look stupid. <span style='color:blue;font-size:100%'><small>Heheheheh. [[Just as planned|Just as planned...]]</small></span>
# ride on the rogal dorn tank
# posthumously promote macaraus to lord commander of imperial forces
#hug a krieg guardsmen
# forgive colonel jurtan and his friend magos kreel they did what they had to do
# posthumously promote jurtan to lord commander

Warhammer 40,000/9th Edition Tactics/Space Wolves

2026-03-25T06:17:35Z

Archange1: Undo revision 1008415 by 192.42.116.179 (talk)

This is the current [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics_(9E)|9th Edition's]] [[Space Wolves]] tactics. [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Space_Wolves(8E)|8th Edition Tactics are here]].

==Why Play [[Space Wolves]]==
Just like their legendary progenitor, the Primarch Leman Russ, Space Wolves are fierce and aggressive warriors. Though they are not berserkers or madmen (well, OK, maybe some of them are a little crazy) their headstrong personalities and inherent sense of justice means that the Space Wolves are forever waging a war against the evils of the galaxy, fighting with the cunning of a hunting pack rather than the frenzy of a rabid dog. Space Wolves like red meat, strong ale, bawdy songs and good old-fashioned brawls, but most of all, they like to hunt glory upon the battlefield. They see death in battle as a fitting end for a true warrior, and if they leave a long and exciting saga of heroic deeds as their legacy, so much the better.

The Space Wolves are a truly different and unique Space Marine army built around a core of charismatic champions. Each of the Space Wolves is a hero in his own right, and though this means that Space Wolves armies are typically few in number, their individual prowess more than makes up for it. Space Wolves are master of the ferocious assault and their bombastic leaders are amongst the most feared and respected warriors in the 41st Millennium.

===Pros===
*You like any of these things: assault, Vikings, runes, wolves, werewolves, wolves, Space Marines, snow, ice, honor, beards, Nordic names, repeating words, wolves, and not wearing helmets. And wolves. Wolves too.
*Your troops units reliably pull their weight. Blood Claws hit impressively hard on the charge, and your Grey Hunters can be more mobile and choppy than Tactical Squads.
*The Space Wolves have access to unique wargear that is generally slightly better than what Codex Astartes Space Marines use.
*Awesome looking exclusive models. Space Wolves are covered in pelts, teeth, talismans, and runes which gives them a Viking-inspired, savage appearance.
**Consequently, an added benefit of playing Space Wolves is that you'll piss off PETA
*Powerful HQ characters, both special and standard.
*The Tempestas discipline is good for helping you survive shooting long enough to get into combat, comes with some decent damage spells, and allows you to force a Fight Last effect and even get access to the assault doctrine early
*Unique access to Thunderwolf Cavalry and Wulfen means that few armies come close to being as good at assault as the Space Wolves.
* A unique flyer in the Stormwolf which is essentially a flying Land Raider. Packs a 16 troop capacity and half a dozen heavy weapons to back it up.
*Between Prospero Burns, Leman Russ: The Great Wolf, Horus Heresy Inferno and Wolfsbane the fluff is being overhauled to make the Wolves both more serious and more likable.
* Grey Hunters, Blood Claws and Long Fangs can take Wolf Guard who are able to upgrade to Terminator armor. It might not seem like much at first since the rules now state that once a wound is allocated, all the remaining wound must be allocated on the same model until it dies; but that 3 wounds with a 0+ armor (thanks to cover and storm shield) make him last longer. However an extra heavy or power weapon can't be understated. Cyclone Missile Launchers have enough strength to take out a few wounds on a vehicle/monster or hit hard a larger unit, with more range and doesn't have to exchange his Storm Bolter.
* Do you like orkz? Space wolves play horde armies better than any other marine army. Simply put your average troop choice can carry 16 marines, which is 32 sv 3+ wounds, alongside a decent punch in melee. Then you go to the fast attack section of the codex and you realize that you can bring 16 assault marines, with their jump packs for an expensive high mobility unit, that can chew through anything or even better 15 bikes for a whooping 45 T 5 Sv 3 wounds. Simply put Space wolves can become a sort of elite horde army that can be unstoppable since their dedicated melee units can and should reach the frontlines without losing their combat effectiveness due to being able to absorb a higher amount of casualties without compromising the squads punching power.

===Cons===
*No heavy weapons in Grey Hunter or Blood Claw squads (which is compensated by adding Wolf Guard, but not wholly). Blood Angels players will (might) rub it in by mentioning their access to Heavy Flamers.
*You won't be able to play Space Wolves without people constantly reminding you to [[Furry|Wolf your wolf]]... seriously its fucking ridiculous on /tg/. With Fenris being in the middle of the Great Rift , "Yiff in Hell" jokes now hit pretty hard. A vocal minority of neckbeards and salty nerds consider Wolves [[Mary_Sue|Mary Sues]] worse than the Ultramarines. Thus the hate is widespread.
*Santa Grimnar jokes will never end. Thanks [[Games Workshop]]
*Grumpy old man Bjorn jokes are funny at first, then become annoying after the first ten minutes.
*[[Nazi|PETA]]
*Also helmets seem to be a precious commodity to the space wolves, so be prepared to rage paint bare bearded space marine heads or buy some off the secondary market.
*While the extra bling looks nice when well painted and can alleviate some of the boredom of painting 30+ troops by focusing on making each one look individual, it also makes things more time consuming. Consider purchasing a few codex marine kits to mix in to reduce the sheer quantities of wolf bling you have to paint. As an added benefit, this is also your best way to get ahold of meltaguns, flamers, one-handed power axes, and combi-weapons.

==Special Rules==

* Troops gain '''Objective Secured'''.

* '''Company Command:''' Can only have one {{W40kKeyword|Captain}} and two {{W40kKeyword|Lieutenant}} per Detachment. [[Matthew Ward|Aka fuck you to homebrew chapters that have a non-Codex organisation]] ...[[Derp|or even canon ones like the Space Wolves]].

*'''Chapter Command:''' Most non-named Characters (i.e. all except Lieutenants and Judicars) can have a Chapter Command upgrade for PL and pts. Each <Chapter> Army can only have one Chapter Command model and some named Characters already have the relevant keyword. Crusade forces cannot start with a non-named Chapter Command model.
** Using <Ultramarines> as an example, your army cannot have Marneus Calgar ''and'' an <Ultramarine> Captain upgraded to a Chapter Master in the same army. However, you can have an <Ultramarine> Chapter Master and a <Salamander> Chapter Master in the same army.

* '''Combat Squads:''' Can split a single full-sized unit into two smaller units ''before'' deployment. Works just like it always has, but more unit types can do it (e.g. Centurions). While MSU is better, it does give Space Marines a unique way to circumvent the Rule of Three or Detachment Limits. Now they just need to have spammable units worth Combat Squadding.
** With the introduction of Shock Assault (See below), there is worth considering the use of some of the older tactics, back when a Tactical Marine was worth more than just a bolter. One such tactic was to put your guns in one squad and your melee in another, using the ranged weapons to soften up a target then the melee (basically a Sergeant either a power weapon or fist) to finish off or better yet to tie up the target unit and finish it off (hopefully) during the opponents turn, denying them a turn at shooting and forcing them to basically waste their melee on chaff. You can also put the Sergeant in the ranged unit with a combi-weapon for a total of three bolters and two special weapons in one squad, and a heavy weapon in the other for a makeshift Devastator Squad.

*'''Angels of Death:''' A rule owned by all Space Marine whatever its colour, subdivided into four. Because GW likes to [[Derp|keep it simple]].
**'''And They Shall Know No Fear:''' When taking Combat Attrition Tests, ignore all modifiers.
**'''Bolter Discipline:''' Models using a rapid fire bolt weapon can double their number of shots (i.e. ''rapid-fire'') if at least one of the following conditions is met. They don't stack, so no triple or quadruple shots if you meet more than one condition. The conditions are:
*** The target is within the weapon's half range (normal rapid fire rules).
*** The model is {{W40kKeyword|Infantry}} (excluding {{WH40Kkeyword|Centurion}}s) and every model of its unit remained stationary during the previous Movement Phase. ''If a Devastator's Heavy Weapon Marine moves, the Sergeant cannot use Bolter Discipline on his boltgun''.
****It gives your Marines the option to commit to those objectives instead of having to get close to the enemy. Factions like T'au may have long ranged small arms, but Space Marines can rapid fire from full range away.
***The firing model is a {{WH40Kkeyword|Terminator}} or {{WH40Kkeyword|Biker}}.
****This right here is the good shit. Footslogging Terminators now have a significantly improved threat capacity and Bikers are somehow even more deadly fast than they already were.
**'''Shock Assault:''' If a unit with this rule charges, gets charged, or performs a Heroic Intervention, models in the unit gain +1A until the end of the turn (meaning +2A if they can fight twice like with a stratagem).
*** Gives the generally lackluster melee of most Primaris Infantry and chainsword Assault Marines a little bit of a boost. Killer on units with power weapons like Terminators. Also means foes have to be a bit more careful about charging at Tacticals and such to tie them up, more so if you use larger units, and that they can assist in a melee in a pinch.
*** Remember that this ability is not Infantry exclusive; Dreadnoughts really appreciate the extra attack and even your Transports can hit a little harder in the first round of combat (Space Marines bring a whole new meaning to road rage).
**'''Combat Doctrine:''' Feel like it's 7th edition all over again. Each of the three Combat Doctrines gives an AP-1 buff to different weapon types in your armies (non-cumulative with buffs from other sources). You have to use each Doctrine in order, starting with the Devastator Doctrine, and then must move through each Doctrine. Once you switch there's no going back, so pay attention to the rhythm of the game. Your ''army'' gains this if ''all units in it'' have this rule, meaning taking a Guardsman Battalion would prevent the Marine detachment from getting this rule, but allied Marine detachments are okay even from a different <Chapter>.
***On top of that, Chapter Supplements give First Founding Chapters (and their descendants) a Specialist Doctrine that is a bonus active on top of the regular Doctrine. Bringing Chapters with different Specialist Doctrines prevents either Chapter from getting theirs, which encourages you to have a one-Chapter army.
**#On Turn 1, your army will always start with the '''Devastator Doctrine''' turned on, giving all your heavy and grenade weapons the extra -1 AP so that you can soften entrenched Infantry and cripple enemy Vehicles from afar in preparation for your advance. Remember the first points of AP are the most important ones: AP-2 heavy bolters and assault cannons are more noticeable than AP-4 lascannons. Do keep in mind that the plethora of sniper rifles and heavy flamers (incendium/inferno/flamestorm cannons) are heavy weapons.
**#On the 2nd turn you switch to '''Tactical Doctrine''', shifting the boost to your rapid fire and assault weapons. Be it to close the distance to the enemy or because your vehicles are about to give their last, this mostly passes the ranged baton to your Infantry. Storm bolters and auto bolt rifles work wonders here love this.
**#On the 3rd or 4th turn you shift to '''Assault Doctrine''' (you MUST change to assault on the 4th turn) giving the extra AP to your pistol and melee attacks. Don't forget your pistol can be fired if you're in melee with an enemy unit.

*'''Death From Above/Teleport Strike:''' Deep Strike in another name, most common on Jump Pack and Terminator models. Set them to side during deployment and set them up 9" from enemy models during the Reinforcement Step.

*'''Concealed Positions:''' Infiltrate in another name, most common on Scout and Phobos models. Set them up anywhere on field 9" from enemy deployment zone or models during deployment.

*'''Outflank:''' Like Deep Strike, but must be wholly within 6" of a board edge and 9" from enemy models during the Reinforcement Step.

*'''Martial Legacy (FW):''' Relic unit rules for certain Forge World models. If your army is battle-forged, each unit with this rule increases the cost of a detachment that includes it by 1CP. Essentially you pay 1CP per Martial Legacy unit in your army.

===Chapter Tactics and Unique Rules===

*'''Hunters Unleashed (Chapter Tactics):''' If a unit with this ability charged, was charged, or made a Heroic Intervention this turn, [[RIP AND TEAR|it gains +1 to hit rolls in the Fight Phase.]] In addition, all units can perform Heroic Interventions like a Character.
** Similar to the Red Thirst ability that the Blood Angels have and makes the Wolves nearly as potent in melee. +1 to hit is not usually as helpful as +1 to wound, since you're hitting on 3+ all the time anyway, a +1 to wound is more impactful, especially against T4+. An Angel with a chainsword will be better than a Wolf with a chainsword, but the Wolf will overtake in terms of damage output with powerfists, chainfists, thunder hammers, and any attack that gives you -1 to hit rolls.

*'''Savage Fury (Specialist Doctrine):''' While the Assault Doctrine is active, an unmodified roll of 6 to hit in melee will grant an additional hit.
** Lasts a decent amount of time, purely by not being in the Devastator Doctrine. Keep enough units on the board to survive until you outflank Thunderwolves or Deep Strike Terminators in your turn three when the Assault Doctrine can kick in.

*'''Berserk Charge:''' One of your two Blood Claw rules, including Skyclaws and Swiftclaws (pg. 45 of the Space Wolf Expansion). If the unit benefits from the Hunters Unleashed Chapter Tactic as a Space Wolf or a Successor, the unit gains +1A if they charge (excluding {{W40kKeyword|Wolf Guard}}).

*'''Headstrong:''' Second part of your Blood Claw rules. If the unit doesn't include a {{W40kKeyword|Wolf Guard}}, it must charge the closest eligible enemy unit.

*'''Swift Hunters:''' On your Fenrisian and Thunder Wolves. Can advance and charge, and adds +1" to pile-in and consolidation moves.

*'''Successor Chapter Tactics:''' Yep, Space Wolves are now part of the whole Space Marine Codex, meaning that you can customize a whole Successor Chapter with its own unique tactics.
** Note you do lose access to special characters and Space Wolves Relics (outside of a 1cp stratagem).
*Some Traits worth considering are:
**Whirlwind of Rage is great, it's benefit is equal to +1 to hit, but it can stack with a variety of other traits here like
**Hungry for battle. +1 to advance and charge Great for any assault army, deepstriking terminators will love this, and Thudercav who can advance and charge will be happy to have it as well.
**Born Heroes: +1 to hit but only if you specifically charged, not as good as SW tactic, but works in conjunction with any of the tactics here, worth considering if you don't need as much mobility.
**Duelists: 6s to hit auto wound infantry on the charge. Not as good as Whirlwind, but works as an alternative if you plan on having a lot of low strength high AP weaponry.

===Specialist Detachment===

==Crusade Additions==

==Secondary Objectives==

==Stratagems==

<tabs>
<tab name="Battle Tactics">
*'''Cunning of the Wolf (1 CP):'''You select one {{W40Kkeyword|INFANTRY}} unit to gain the outflank rule. Congratulations, you got outflanking back. Enjoy watching your opponent's backline melt. For only a single command point to spend on each unit you do that for. Hell yeah! Shenanigans will ensue for armies with similar abilities (aka. Eldar, Blood Angels, Raven Guard etc.), prepare for hilarity.
*'''The Emperor's Executioners (1 CP):''' In the Fight phase, a Space Wolves unit can reroll hit and wound rolls against Thousand Sons unit in melee.
*'''Savage Strike (1/2 CP):''' When a Space Wolf unit is selected to fight the turn it changes, add +1 to wound for each time it fights this phase. 1cp of a unit of 5 models or less and 2 for more than 5.
*'''Healing Balms:''' Instead of just being a full-on ability to heal like an apothecary, this gives the {{W40Kkeyword|Wolf Priests}} their means to restore d3 wounds to the appropriate {{W40Kkeyword|Space Wolf Infantry, Bikers}} or {{W40Kkeyword|cavalry}} within 3". A serious nerf since Space Wolves still can't use apothecaries for actual healing.
*'''Vicious Executioners (1 CP):''' One {{W40Kkeyword|Wolf Guard}} unit during the fight phase gets to deal a MW on top of any normal damage when they roll a natural 6 to hit.
*'''Pack Hunters (1 CP):''' During the Charge phase, pick an enemy currently engaged with a {{W40Kkeyword|Space Wolf}} unit, {{W40Kkeyword|Space Wolf Calvary}} and {{W40Kkeyword|Space Wolf Beasts}} roll 3d6 drop one when charging that enemy, and they reroll their teeth and claw attacks against them.
*'''Relentless Assault (1 CP):''' Lets a {{W40Kkeyword|Space Wolf}} unit consolidate an extra 3". Not cumulative with other rules.
</tab>
<tab name="Epic Deed">
*'''Cloaked by the Storm (2 CP):''' In the Psychic phase, when Space Wolf psyker manifests a power from the Tempestas discipline, he imposes a -1 penalty for all ranged attacks made against Space Wolves units within 6" of it until the next Psychic phase. Expensive, but now you can buff your army without ever using a buffing power.
*'''Deed Worthy of a Saga (1 CP):''' When a character without a Warlord trait fulfills a requirement listed for a saga, they gain that saga's aura for the rest of game.
</tab>
<tab name="Requisition">
*'''A Trophy Bestowed (1 CP):''' Lets a Space Wolf successor chapter take a chapter relic instead of being stuck with just the special-issue wargear list.
*'''Thane of the Retinue (1 CP):''' If you have a Space Wolf Warlord, a sergeant or pack leader can take a special-issue wargear.
*'''Warrior of Legend (1 CP):''' Put a second WT on your Warlord. This second WT must be from the Space Wolves codex and they gain the associated deed. Worth noting that the first trait could be from the Space Marine codex.
</tab>
<tab name="Strategic Ploy">
*'''Bestial Nature (1 CP):''' In the Command phase, a Space Wolf {{W40Kkeyword|Space Wolf INFANTRY}}, {{W40Kkeyword|Cavalry}}, or {{W40Kkeyword|Bike}} unit is treated as being in the Assault Doctrine. FAQd to mean Savage Fury will apply
*'''Counter-Charge (1 CP):''' This allows one unit to perform a Heroic Intervention against an enemy charge, letting them move 6" to do so. This little gem is useful in protecting more vulnerable forces by throwing more durable (or disposable) forces against the enemy.
*'''Keen Senses (1 CP):''' Use this stratagem in the Shooting phase. Choose a SW unit from your army; they suffer NO penalties to hit this phase. Those Alaitoc Shadow Specters will hate your guts. Time to break out the BIG guns. Use this broke-ass stratagem on leviathans, fellblades, and tank destroyers. The more guns the better.
**Importantly, you can ignore ANY and ALL modifiders. So if a Chaplain gives you +1 to hit, choose not to ignore it, but if you move with Heavy weapons and the target has -1 to hit, you can ignore both those modifiers. So outflank 6 Heavy Melta Rifle Eradicators with a Terminator Wolf Priest, they can then come in and hit Mortarian on a 2+ with the Litany of Focus, even if he has Miasma of Pestilence up.
**This stratagem lets you turn your Long Fangs into Dark Reapers, meaning you can have move without suffering any minuses to hit. This makes any unit you wish had Power of the Machine Spirits that much faster.
</tab>
<tab name="Wargear">
*'''Runic Wards (1 CP):''' When one of your units is within 12" of an enemy psyker when they successfully manifest a power, spend a CP to give that unit a Deny The Witch roll. Decent trick that can prevent Smite damage to a key unit or prevent your opponent getting an important buff.
</tab>
</tabs>

==Warlord Traits==
Named Characters MUST use their designated Chapter-Specific trait, thus increasing the appeal of taking an unnamed character.

<tabs>
<tab name="Space Wolf">
Most of These Warlord traits are selfish by nature, boosting up the ability of the badass, but also supportive later in game. Completing the Deed of Legend (DoL) unlocks an aura that is slightly weaker than the Warlord Trait.
*'''Beastslayer:''' Add 1 to hit and wound rolls made against {{W40Kkeyword|monster}}s and {{W40Kkeyword|vehicle}}s and +1 attack when within engagement range with one.
** DoL: Very straightforward, just use the Warlord to slay a {{W40Kkeyword|Monster}} or {{W40Kkeyword|Vehicle}}. This can be done with the character's ranged weapons.
** Aura: Space Wolf Core units gain +1 to wound rolls when attacking Monsters and Vehicles in melee.

*'''Wolfkin:''' Warlord always counts as having charged for Shock Assault and gains +d3A from it instead of +1. This is Canis Wolfborn's designated trait.
** DoL: Kill any enemy model in melee with your Warlord. Retardedly easy to complete.
** Aura: Space Wolf Core units within 6" always count as having charged for Shock Assault.

*'''Warrior Born:''' Warlord always fights first in the Fight Phase when in engagement range of enemies. This is Ragnar Blackmane's and Krom Dragongaze's designated trait.
** DoL: Kill an enemy Character in melee with your Warlord.
** Aura: Space Wolf Core units within 6" of this model and within engagement range of enemy units also fight first.

*'''Hunter:''' +1 to advancing and charge distances, and Warlord can charge after advancing or falling back. This is Harald Deathwolf's designated trait.
** DoL: Successfully charge an enemy unit.
** Aura: Space Wolf Core units within 6" can charge after advancing or falling back.

*'''Majesty:''' gains an extra 3" to all Captain, Lieutenant, Chapter Master, Spiritual Leader, and Litany abilities and auras, to a maximum of 9". This is Logan Grimnar, Bjorn the Fell-Handed, and Ulrik the Slayers designated trait.
** DoL: Be within range of an objective that is more than 6" away from your deployment zone.
** Aura: Space Wolf Core units wihtin 6" automatically pass morale tests.

*'''Bear:''' Gain a FnP on a 6+ and enemy attacks can't reroll wound or damage roll against this warlord. This is Arjac Rockfist's and Njall Stormcaller's designated trait.
** DoL: Lose a wound.
** Aura: Space Wolf Core units gain a 6+ FnP.
</tab>

<tab name="Space Marine">
#'''Fear Made Manifest (Aura):''' Enemy units within 6" suffer -1Ld and -1 to Combat Attrition Tests.
#*Can be combined with other Ld debuffs to make a leadership bomb, but even on its own losing people on a 5+ Combat Attrition roll already means losing 1/3rd of the unit, or half of it when understrength.
#'''The Imperium's Sword:''' What Smash Captains are made of. Warlord gains +1S and +1A when he charges or Heroically Intervenes, and rerolls failed charge rolls. The bonus attack stacks with Shock Assault.
#'''Iron Resolve:''' What [[Smashfucker]]s are made of. Warlord gains +1W, and can ignore wounds on a 6. Not dying is nice, and it's better the more wounds your character has.
#'''Champion of Humanity:''' Warlord gains +1A if an enemy {{W40Kkeyword|Character}} is within 1", and gains +1 to hit and wound rolls against Characters within 1".
#*Remember, you don't have to attack the Character to gain +1A, you just need to be within 1".
#''' Storm of Fire (Aura):''' Wound rolls of unmodified 6 made by and {{W40Kkeyword|<Chapter> Core}} unit within 6" gains an additional point of AP. This does not stack with Combat Doctrines.
#*Since light weapons with high rates of fire are often cheaper than stronger, single-shot ones, this Warlord Trait can allow a detachment to pull its weight even at low point limits. Furthermore, it's easy for them to synergize with your Warlord because many are Infantry or Transports that can accompany him. While mechanized and Biker lists are shooty, Bolter Discipline means bolt-using units from this list are no longed forced to move into rapid fire range.
#''' Rites of War (Aura): '''Friendly {{W40kKeyword|<CHAPTER> Core}} and {{W40kKeyword|<CHAPTER> Character}} units within 6" gain Objective Secured.
</tab>

<tab name="Vanguard">
Available only to {{W40kKeyword|Phobos characters}}, aka the tacticool Captain, Lieutenant, and Librarian found in the Shadowspear box. Chaplains can suck it because yelling catechisms isn't stealthy and Tech Marines haven't yet learned whatever trick the Helix Adepts are using to fix broken things quietly, so they can suck it, too.
#'''Shoot and Fade:''' After one {{W40kKeyword|<chapter> phobos}} unit within 6" of the warlord shoots, They can move or advance but can't charge.
#*Imperial stealthy Jump-Shoot-Jump baby! Break LoS and avoid retaliation. That way your Infiltrator/Incursor squads can keep up with your Eliminators, the first dashing in and out of LoS while the later shoot without visual contact with complete impunity.
#'''Lord of Deceit:''' After both sides deploy, you can remove and redeploy up to 3 {{W40kKeyword|<Chapter> Phobos}} units present on the battlefield or put them into reserve for no CP.
#*Results depend on the mental games you can play on your enemy - it's not going to be a surprise to your opponent, but being able to make corrections after your enemy's cemented his choice instead of being part of the simultaneous deployment process can be an amazing benefit, and one that Eldar pay 2CP for.
#*Bear in mind, this trait now goes off after <i>deployment</i>, which means you haven't yet rolled off for first turn.
#'''Master of the Vanguard (Aura):''' Friendly {{W40kKeyword|<chapter> phobos}} units within 6" of the Warlord gain +1" to their move, advance, fall back, and charge distances. Useful to Reivers or charging out of Deep Strike, pairs well with the Chapter Tactic Hungry for Battle as well as several characters.
#'''Stealth Adept:''' Can't be targeted by ranged attacks unless he is the closest target. Protects from snipers or if you find yourself with just one of two guys from your accompanying squad left. Often get more mileage on your Phobos Librarian trying to get off their close range power.
#'''Target Priority:''' Select a friendly {{W40kKeyword|<chapter> phobos}} unit within 6" in the Command phase. Until the start of your next Command phase, that unit gets +1 to hit. And he doesn't have to give up his shooting either. Now all those pointy finger models have found their worth!
#*Less helpful for Eliminators now they have BS2+, but could be used to negate cover penalties. Doesn't affect Infiltrators' automatic wounds as they only happen on an ''unmodified'' 6.
#'''Marksman Honours:''' +1D to ''all'' of the Warlord's guns, but not grenades or relics. Completely wasted on a Librarian or Lieutenant, but bumps the Phobos Captain's Instigator Bolt Carbine to an eye-watering D4.
</tab>
</tabs>

==Psychic Powers==
In addition to Smite, you have access to a faction-specific table of powers. The Librarius Discipline has power for pretty much every situation, but they're mostly niche enough that it's difficult deciding upfront which powers to take. The Phobos Librarian-exclusive Obscuration Discipline focusses on messing with movement and dice rolls at the cost of mortal wound output.

<tabs>
<tab name="Tempestas">
Your Space Wolf and Successor specific psychic discipline. Several are must-haves.
#'''Living Lightning (WC6, Witchfire):''' Deals 1d3 mortal wounds to the nearest visible enemy unit within 18". then on another roll of 2+ the closest other enemy unit within 6" of the target also takes a mortal wound, D3 on a 5+.
#'''Murderous Hurricane (WC6, Malediction):''' Target a visible enemy within 18", until your next Psychic phase, they can't overwatch unless in terrain and can't fight until all the Space Wolves finish their rounds.
#'''Tempest's Wrath (WC6, Malediction):''' Until the start of your next Psychic phase, an enemy unit within 24" has -1 to hit. Copied and pasted from Aversion from the Interromancy discipline, but effectiveness beats originality.
#'''Instincts Awoken (WC6, Blessing):''' Until the next psychic phase, a Space Wolf unit within 18" is treated as being in Assault Doctrine until next Psychic phase, or get a stackable -1 AP on wound rolls of 6 if already in Assault.
#'''Storm Caller (WC6, Blessing):''' Until the start of your next Psychic phase all Friendly Space Wolfs within 6" gain the benefit of being in light cover. A strong buff for an assault army that's particularly valuable because you can get multiple units under the bubble. Don't forget to add the Cloaked by the Storm Stratagem to buff them further!
#'''Jaws of the Wolf World (WC7, Witchfire):''' Pick an enemy unit within 18". Roll a D6 for each model, with +1 to rolls if the passed test on a 9+. On a 6+, inflict a mortal wound.
</tab>

<tab name="Librarius">
General-use powers for Marines. Depending on your <Chapter> they may not have the greatest synergy but still fairly useful with many melee and close range blessing.
#'''Veil of Time (WC6, Blessing):''' Select one {{W40Kkeyword|<CHAPTER>}} unit within 18". Until the start of the next Psychic Phase, that unit re-rolls charge and advance rolls, and always fights first.
#*9" charges are still below a 50% chance at 47.84%, although you can combine it with a CP re-roll. If you can find a source for +1" to charge distances, your odds rise to 65.97%.
#'''Might Of Heroes (WC6, Blessing):''' Select one {{W40Kkeyword|<CHAPTER>}} {{W40Kkeyword|CORE}} or {{W40Kkeyword|CHARACTER}} ''model'' within 12". That model gains +1S, +1T, and +1A.
#* An awesome power for your beatstick models. {{W40Kkeyword|Dreadnought CHARACTER}}'s will love this, as well as Chaplains buffed by Mantra of Strength. Sergeants kitted for melee are also viable models to buff.
#'''Null Zone (WC7, Blessing):''' Until the start of your next Psychic Phase, ''ALL'' units within 6" can't take invulnerable saves, and enemies cut the results of their Psychic Tests in half.
#* Obviously most powerful against enemies that depend on their invulnerable saves or psychic powers (Harlequins, Hive Tyrants, Daemons, for example). Less effective against heavily armoured units (Terminators, Wraith Guard, Mega-Nobz). Don't be afraid to advance into position and let other things do the murder work for you.
#* IMPORTANT REMINDER: This affects ALL invulnerable saves on ALL units in range, ''even yours''. Don't use with your own storm shield units in range.
#'''Psychic Scourge (WC6, Witchfire):''' Select one visible enemy unit within 18" of the caster. The caster and the target unit roll off and add their units Ld to the result. The target suffers d3 mortal wounds if your score is higher, one mortal wound if the score is equal, or nothing if your score is lower.
#* Less powerful than smite, but it's better for sniping Characters since it isn't restricted to the closest enemy unit. Best used in combination with something that inflicts a Ld penalty to the target or a Leadership bonus to the caster, if you brought any.
#'''Fury of the Ancients (WC7, Witchfire):''' Select one visible enemy ''model'' within 18" and draw a line from any part of the casters base to any part of the targets base. the caster to that model. The target unit and each enemy unit this line passes through suffers one mortal wound.
#'''Psychic Fortress (WC6, Blessing):''' {{W40Kkeyword|<CHAPTER>}} units within 6" gain a 5++ invulnerable save. Just awesome due to the lack of restrictions allowing even your Land Raiders to gain this buff.
</tab>

<tab name="Obscuration">
These powers can only be used by {{W40kKeyword|Phobos Librarians}}. They don't do much damage, but god damn can they fuck with your enemy. They'll only buff {{W40kKeyword|Phobos}} units, so no combo-ing with Aggressors.
#'''Shrouding (WC6, Blessing):''' Pick a friendly {{W40kKeyword|<CHAPTER>}} {{W40kKeyword|Phobos}} unit within 18". Until the start of the next Psychic Phase, enemies can only shoot that unit if they're the closest eligible target. Protects from snipers, but not enemy psychic powers.
#'''Soul Sight (WC6, Blessing):''' Pick a friendly {{W40kKeyword|<CHAPTER>}} {{W40kKeyword|Phobos}} unit within 18". Until the start of your next psychic phase, that unit re-rolls all failed hits when using their ranged weapons and their ranged attacks ignore enemy cover save bonuses.
#'''Mind Raid (WC6, Witchfire):''': Select a visible enemy unit within 18". It takes a mortal wound and if the power targeted a {{WH40Kkeyword|character}}, roll 3d6. If the result is greater than or equal to the target's Ld, you get a free Command Point! Remember the limit on 1CP gained per battle round though, not a power to use if you have a Relic or Warlord Trait that also refunds CP.
#'''Hallucination (WC6, Malediction):''' Select a visible enemy unit within 18". They suffer -1Ld and -1 to all hit rolls until your next turn.
#'''Tenebrous Curse (WC7, Malediction):''' Select a visible enemy unit within 18" that does not have the {{W40kKeyword|Fly}} keyword. It takes a mortal wound, their move distance is halved, and suffer -2 to their advance and charge distances. Effectively pin one Death Guard unit in their half of the board.
#'''Temporal Corridor (WC5, Blessing):''' Pick a friendly {{W40kKeyword|<CHAPTER>}} {{W40kKeyword|Phobos}} unit within 6". It can make a normal move or advance as if it was the Movement Phase, and if it advances it adds 6" to their move rather than rolling. However, the unit cannot shoot or fight this turn. Great repositioning tool at the cost of damage output.
</tab>
</tabs>

==Litanies of Battle==

Litanies happen in your Command Phase, going off on a 3+. Like psychic powers, each litany can only be cast once per turn, no matter how many Chaplains know it. Deep Striking and passenger Chaplains are a touch less-useful on their first turn, as they arrive AFTER their casting window. There is the 2CP Commanding Oratory stratagem that can be used to cast a litany in any phase if the Chaplain has not already cast one this turn.

#'''Litany of Hate:''' Default prayer, 6" aura of re-rolling all melee hit rolls (not just misses) for your {{W40Kkeyword|<chapter> core}} or {{W40Kkeyword|<chapter> Character}} units. Stronger now that the Chapter Master's Aura has been reigned in.
#'''Litany of Faith:''' 6" Aura of ignoring mortal wounds on a 5+ for friendly {{W40Kkeyword|<chapter> core}} or {{W40Kkeyword|<chapter> Character}} units. Not cumulative with other rules, as per usual.
#'''Catechism of Fire:''' Select a friendly {{W40Kkeyword|<chapter> core}} or {{W40Kkeyword|<chapter> Character}} unit within 6" to gain +1 to the wound rolls when "resolving a shooting attack" against the ''closest'' enemy unit, meaning it affects Overwatch, too.
#* You're already accurate, so you'll get the most out of +1 to wound rolls from units that hit often but not hard; Intercessors with auto bolt rifles, Flamer Veterans, and Aggressors.
#'''Exhortation of Rage:''' Select a friendly {{W40Kkeyword|<chapter> core}} or {{W40Kkeyword|<chapter> Character}} unit within 6". They get +1 to their wound rolls in melee. Very strong (unless you're the Blood Angels of course). This is often worse than the default Litany of Hate. If you're hitting on a 3+ or worse and wounding on a 4+ or better (e.g. most attacks with fists, hammers, lightning claws, and power weapons), use Litany of Hate. If you're hitting on a 2+ or wounding on a 5+, use Exhortation of Rage. Of course, a Master of Sanctity can use both.
#'''Mantra of Strength:''' The casting Chaplain gains +1S and +1A, and one melee weapon gains +1D.
#*Smash Chaplain is a viable build. Combine it with the Benediction of Fury (WS2+, S7, AP-2, D4) or a powerfist (WS3+, S9, AP-3, D3). Add Warlord Traits, stratagems, doctrines, and psychic powers as you can afford and be bothered with.
#'''Recitation of Focus:''' Select a friendly {{W40Kkeyword|<chapter> core}} or {{W40Kkeyword|<chapter> Character}} unit within 6" to gain +1 to their hit rolls when shooting.
#*While +1 to hit is better than a Captain's re-roll, this alone isn't a replacement for it (since it has a 1/3 chance to fail, affects single unit and doesn't work in melee or when the chaplain doesn't start on the field). Instead, it's better used when a unit cares about +1 to hit beyond improving BS by 1. If you just want a second HQ to support a gun-line bring a Lieutenant instead.
#'''Canticle of Hate:''' Non-cumulative 6" aura of +2" to charge distances and +3" to pile in and consolidation moves. In all cases, the friendly {{W40Kkeyword|<chapter> core}} or {{W40Kkeyword|<chapter> Character}} unit in question has to be within the aura by the time the move is made - the consolidate move especially will often not happen unless the Chaplain also made his charge.
#*Amazing for those who can re-roll charge distances, increasing the odds of a successful 9" charge up to '''85%''' (58.3% for non-rerolling lads).
#*Do keep in mind the Chaplain has to be on the field at the beginning of the battle round to cast his litany. A Jump Pack or Biker Chaplain is fast enough, but if you are patient, you can use an Impulsor or Drop Pod to get him in position in the first turn and use the Litany for your deep strikers in the second turn.

==Wargear==

Depending on how you look at it, you either lost your unique frost weapons or everyone gained your frost weapons in the form of 9th ed power weapons. #ThanksGW.

Other than that, you have no unique weapons aside from those given special mention within their specific units (Venerable Dreadnought helfrost cannon or axe and shield, Iron Priest tempest hammer and helfrost pistol, etc).

===Melee Weapons===

*'''Astartes Chainsword:''' SU, AP-1, D1, +1A. As of 9E, all Space Marine chainswords get AP-1 on top of the extra attack, making them even better against lightly armoured hordes while also giving them a little utility against tougher foes.

*'''Lightning Claws:''' SU, AP-2, D1, re-roll failed wound rolls and +1A. This will outperform all other 1 damage melee weapons against any target (except T8-9 with a 2+ or 3+, where the power sword wins, but why are you picking D1 weapons for those). Your best bet for mulching single-wound hordes.
** RAW: "Each time the bearer fights, it makes 1 additional attack with this weapon". Exactly the same as the Chainsword, this should be interpreted as +1A for one claw, +2A for two claws.

*'''Power Weapons:''' Each type of power weapon has its own profile now, so pick the right one for the situation. Unless you have the option for a lightning claw, then you should always take that instead.
**'''Power Axe:''' S+2, AP-2, D1. Offers a compromise between the maul's strength and the sword's armour penetration.
**'''Power Maul/Power Lance:''' S+3, AP-1, D1. This is the one you want to use against lightly armoured units that rely on toughness to shrug off hits. The lance is identical to the maul because of reasons.
**'''Power Sword:''' S+1, AP-3, D1. Best against targets that rely on armour saves over toughness to shrug off hits. Except against frail things with good invulnerable saves like Crusaders, who ignore AP anyway.

*'''Powerfist:''' Sx2, AP-3, D2, -1 to hit rolls. Good against everything, cost-effective, and very common to find.

*'''Thunder Hammer:''' Sx2, AP-2, D3, -1 to hit rolls. A powerfist that trades 1 point of AP for an extra point of damage. The extra damage could mean the difference between one-shotting a Custodian Guard/Aggressor/Terminator or getting a guardian spear/powerfist in the face. When you have a thunder hammer/storm shield-Captain with Jump Pack, every enemy model begins to look like a nail. BUT, at typically twice the cost of a powerfist, it's not worth ditching up to three extra special or heavy weapons just to squeeze out a few extra points of damage. Still quite viable on everything that isn't a Character at least, so feel free to spam with Terminators or Vanguards.

*'''Chainfist:''' Sx2, AP-4, Dd3, -1 to hit rolls, becomes D3 against Vehicles. A Terminator-only weapon that's only open to Terminator Veterans and Terminator Captains. Marginally better than a powerfist against other highly-armoured models that lack an invulnerable save, and strictly better against Vehicles. Costs the same as a powerfist, so trading the fist's reliable damage for better AP could be worth it.

*'''Relic Blade:''' S+3, AP-3, D2. Available to Honour Guard, Vanguard Veteran Sergeants, and Captains. It has a good comparison to the powerfist; Ignoring S bonuses or wound-roll buffs, the powerfists bumps you to S8, whereas this takes you to S7. This only matters against T4, T7, and T8 targets, as you go from wounding on a 2+/3+/4+ respectively to a 3+/4+/5+. But it's also more accurate than a power fist, so if you have a way to get +1 S it's all-around better.

===Combi-Weapons===

*'''Boltgun:''' You know what a bolter is, but if you somehow forgot it's 24", rapid fire 1, S4, AP0, D1.
**'''Combi-Weapon:''' A boltgun taped to a special weapon (plasma, flamer, melta, grav). Check below for the special weapon profiles. You can fire one of the weapons at full BS, or both with a -1 to hit rolls. Note that combi-flamers don't care for no BS.
**'''Storm Bolter/Combi-Bolter:''' A boltgun taped to another boltgun. Cheap as chips rapid fire 2 boltgun, typically seen on Bikers and Terminators, also available as upgrades on most of your vehicles. Their abundance, the majority of bearers ability to go fast (Bikers) or Deep Strike (Terminators), and Bolter Discipline means you should usually be getting four shots per turn with this weapon.

===Special Weapons===

*'''Flamer:''' 12", assault D6, S4, AP0, D1, automatically hits. 9th edition has been good to all flame weapons, boosting their range from 8" to 12". A classic anti-horde option, at least it's cheap.
** While they DO auto-hit airborne units with Hard-To-Hit, don't bother; they're too tough and armoured.

*'''Meltagun:''' 12", assault 1, S8, AP-4, Dd6, +2D if you're within half range of the target for a potential of 8D (5.5D average). Good against anything with lots of wounds, be they Vehicles, Monsters, or even heavy Infantry. **At 12" range supercharged plasma is better (but riskier) however, and this gun is more expensive, so you really should try and get into half range. While you can advance to close the gap, it is convenient that the unit's other weapons are assault weapons as well.

*'''Grav Gun:''' 18", rapid fire 1, S5, AP-3, D1, becomes D2 against targets with Sv3+ or better. Against most Vehicles, MEQ's, and TEQ's, this is a safer plasma weapon at the cost of less S and the same amount of pts.

*'''Plasma Gun:''' 24", rapid fire 1, S7, AP-3, D1. Their gimmick is having a safe profile and supercharged profile, which gives them +1S and +1D at the risk of killing the bearer on a hit roll of unmodified 1. Sticking close to a Captain can mitigate this risk.

===Pistol Weapons===

Pistol weapons are equivalent to their bigger brethren, with different ranges and weapon types. Other than that, S, AP, D, and unique rules are the same.

*'''Bolt Pistol:''' 12" and pistol 1. One of the most common weapons in the Space Marine armoury and available on most things as either an option or as part of their wargear. Just don't forget it exists and that you can fire it in melee.
**'''Heavy Bolt Pistol:''' 18", pistol 1, S4, AP-1, D1. Primaris-only, as the Firstborn don't have the wrist strength to hold them.

*'''Grav Pistol:''' 12" and pistol 1.

*'''Plasma Pistol:''' 12" and pistol 1.

===Heavy Weapons===

*'''Heavy Bolter:''' 36", heavy 3, S5, AP-1, '''D2'''. A solid choice for taking down light-medium Infantry, if one that tends to be overshadowed at times by the assault cannon and heavy flamer.
**They can quickly raise the cost of your army due to their huge availability, so be a bit cautious about spamming against armies that are not mainly 2W.
**Hellfire Shell is a unique stratagem that can be used on Infantry-carried heavy bolters; instead of shooting normally, make a single hit roll that deals d3 mortal wounds. Make the most of this with re-roll auras or Devastator Sergeant Signums.

*'''Heavy Flamer:''' 12", heavy d6, S5, AP-1, D1, auto-hits. More effective against armoured targets than its smaller brother, but cannot be fired after advancing. Can be found on Dreadnoughts, Terminators, and Sternguard Veterans.

*'''Multi-Melta:''' A 24" and heavy 2 meltagun, meaning you can't run with it, but ''can shoot in melta range out of a deep strike'', now fulfilling the role of Drop Pod threat-removal.

*'''Plasma Cannon:''' 36", heavy d3, and blast effectively means the same shots as a plasma gun, but from 36" away instead of 12" and better against infantry. You need to be careful when you supercharge, due to the sheer cost of this weapon.

*'''Grav-Cannon:''' 30" range and heavy 4 grav-gun. Akin to a ''heavier'' heavy bolter to deal with bigger targets.
**A unit with grav-cannons will become a serious target for your opponent, so consider sticking them in a Transport of any flavour so they can't be Basilisk'ed off the table turn 1.

*'''Lascannon:''' 48", heavy 1, S9, AP-3, Dd6. Your primary long-range anti-vehicle weapon, and is as common as the heavy bolter.

*'''Missile Launcher:''' Can fire either frag missiles (48" and heavy d6 bolter shots with blast), or a krak missile with (48", heavy 1, S8, AP-2, Dd6). Not quite as good as an assault cannon, heavy bolter, or lascannon in regards to dealing with Infantry and Monsters/Vehicles (respectively), but still pretty good at both of those roles.
**Similar to heavy bolters, this weapon has a unique stratagem. Flakk Missile deals d3 MW's as well, but only against Aircraft targets.
**'''Hunter-Killer Missile:''' A single-use 72", heavy 1, S10, AP-2, Dd6 missile for 5pts, just in case you didn't have enough anti-tank. The vast majority of your ground-based non-Dreadnought Vehicles can have one. Ironclad Dreadnoughts can take two, and Leviathans can have three.

*'''Assault Cannon:''' 24", heavy 6, S6, AP-1, D1. Haha minigun go brrrt. Not hard to find, available as a Terminator heavy weapon and Dreadnought option. Twin-linked variety is on Razorbacks, Land Speeders, Land Raiders, and most Aircraft.
**'''Onslaught Gatling Cannon:''' 24", heavy 8, S5, AP-1, D1. Found on multiple Primaris armoured platforms as a secondary weapon, and puts the hurt on infantry.
**'''Heavy Onslaught Gatling Cannon:''' 30", heavy 12, S6, AP-1, D1. Mounted on Redemptor Dreadnoughts, Repulsors, and Gladiators, the bigger brother of the onslaught cannon that does everything better.

*'''Ironhail Heavy Stubber:''' 36", heavy 4, S4, AP-1, D1. A weird GW trend of putting stubbers on the hover tanks, but better than a storm bolter or the Imperial Guard heavy stubber.
**'''Icarus Ironhail Heavy Stubber:''' As above with +1 to hit {{W40Kkeyword|Aircraft}}. Realistically too weak to actually deal damage to Aircraft however.

*'''Fragstorm Grenade Launcher:''' 18", assault d6, S4, AP0, D1, blast. Boltstorm Aggressors come with one, the Redemptor Dreadnought can swap their two storm bolters for two of these, and they can also be found on most of the Primaris tanks (the repulsor can have a whopping ''five'').
**'''Krakstorm Grenade Launcher''' Not as fun as it sounds. Shoots a single S6 AP-1 Damage Dd3 shot. Found on Primaris type vehicles.

===Relics===

If your Warlord is a Space Marine Character, you can give one Character a Relic, absolutely free. Weapon Relics can only be taken by a unit that can take the weapon it's based on and you have to pay for the base weapon (e.g. a Terminator Captain does not have access to a chainsword and thus cannot take the Teeth of Terra). The Relic of the Chapter Stratagem can be used for extra relics, number depending on the size of the game.

Named Characters and {{W40kKeyword|vehicles}} cannot be given a Relic. But only [[That Guy]] would try to force a Chaplain Dreadnought into the Armour Indomitus or something like that.

<tabs>
<tab name="Space Wolf Relics">
*'''Armor of Russ:''' Bearer gains a 2+ armour save, 4+ invulnerable save, and one enemy unit within engagement range of the wearer unable to fight until all other Space Wolves unit in the Fight Phase.
** No restrictions on who can take it, so give it to a Primaris or a Battle Leader since they don't normally have a way of improving or even gaining an invulnerable save.

*'''The Wulfen Stone:''' Friendly {{W40Kkeyword|Space Wolves Core}} units within 6" of the bearer reroll changes and once per battle, as a {{W40Kkeyword|Space Wolves}} unit gains Savage Fury and triggers it on a 5+.

*'''Fireheart:''' Replaces a plasma pistol. R18", S9, AP-4, D3, no overheating.

*'''Black Death:''' Replaces a power axe or master-crafted power axe. S+2, AP-2, D1, Bearer gains +d6A.
** Makes your character a decent GEQ blender. If you're giving this to anyone, make sure they're on a Thunderwolf; the pups additional teeth and claw attacks mean they'll want to have similar targets. Generally worse than the Teeth of Terra, unless you're facing targets with -1D or really have your heart set on using a Relic to kill bolter fodder.

*'''Mountain-Breaker Helm:''' After the bearer finishes attacking but before consolidating, you can roll a d6 on an enemy within 3". You deal d3 MWs on a 2+.

*'''The Storm's Eye:''' {{W40Kkeyword|Librarian}} only. After using your first Tempest power in a Psychic Phase, roll a d6 for every enemy unit within 12". They take a mortal wound on a 4+.
** A lovely way of dishing out the MW, RAW this also smacks Characters without the usual -1 modifier most similar powers have. Terminator Librarian with storm shield from Legends is best for this for the Deep Striking to get within range and have the survivability once you get there.

*'''The Pelt of Balewolf:''' -1 to hit and wound rolls by enemy melee weapons.

</tab>
<tab name="Special-Issue Wargear">
*'''Adamantine Mantle:''' When this model loses a wound, roll a D6; on a 5+, the wound isn’t lost. Not that great in an army with access to so many rolls to negate wounds.
*'''Artificer Armour:''' Gives a model a 2+ armour save and a 5++ invulnerable save.
*'''Master-Crafted Weapon:''' Give a weapon +1D. Good on a thunder hammer for D4 or on weapons with variable damage (force weapons and chainfists) to guarantuee at least 2D.
*'''Digital Weapons:''' When you fight, you make one extra attack that scores a mortal wound if it hits. Not terrible, but your Characters are pretty much renown for how hard they punch stuff. It's better to invest relics in durability or supporting other troops.

*'''Morkai's Teeth Bolts:''' Markerlight, Space Wolf edition. One bearers bolt weapon can make one hit roll and ''any unit'' attacking that target re-rolls wound rolls of 1.
** RAW ANY unit gains this buff, not just Space Wolves. Expect this to be FAQ'd.
** Put it on an Eliminator Sergeant with an Instigator Bolt Carbine, letting your characters be built into melee monsters while still having it on a BS 2+ model

*'''Wolf Tail Talisman:''' Bearer ignores MW on a 4+ during the Psychic Phase.

*'''Frost Weapon''': Replace all the Frost weapon options. Can give a lighting claw (single or pair), power axe, master-crafted power axe, power sword, or master-crafted power sword +1S and +1D and treat it as a Chapter Relic.
** Lightning claws: Sticking it on these bumps you up to the ever useful S5, so you wound MEQ's on a 3+ and insta-kill them on account of being D2.
** Power sword: Now this bumps you to S6, thus wounding T3 models on a 2+. Still not as good as frost lightning claws, but this is often your only choice for Primaris characters, who can stack in with the in-built master-crafted bonus to get to D3, making it very good against Custodes, Terminators, and Gravis-armoured units.
** Power axe: Eh, take a something else. S+3 resulting in S7 is an awkward value. Against T5 and below (i.e. most models), you wound on a 2+/3+ but the frost sword gets AP-3. Against T7 and T8 models, you wound on a 4+/5+ but the powerfist wounds on 3+/4+ and doesn't eat a relic slot.

*'''Runic Weapon:''' {{W40Kkeyword|Librarian}} only. Gives +1 to Deny the Witch rolls and a force weapon gains +1S and is considered a Chapter Relic.
** Similar to the frost weapon explanations above with regards to strength values, you'll get a lot of use on force swords getting bumped to S6, but force staves do go to S8 for a diet thunder hammer.
</tab>
</tabs>

==Unit Analysis==

Many units are taken directly out of [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Space Marines (9E)|Space Marines (9E)]]. This page will focus on the small Wargear or Keyword differences that may appear, or if there's a relevant build that can be pointed out. Otherwise you have access to the entirety of the Space Marine Codex.

===HQ===

*'''Wolf Lord on Thunderwolf:''' The melee version of a Biker Captain. While slower at M10", they can advance and charge in the same turn. The doggy adds 3A at S+1, AP-2, D1.
** Note that if your primary desire is combining mobility with number of attacks, Harald Deathwolf does this better, not least due to having Outflank.
** As this model has the Captain keyword, they can become a Chapter Master and take a storm shield and the Angel Artifice relic (Sv2+, +1T, 4+ invulnerable). Your statline becomes WS2+, BS2+, S4, T6, W8, A4, Ld9, Sv1+/4++. Adding the Imperium's Sword (+1A and +1S on the charge) or Iron Resolve (+1W) Warlord Traits truly turns you into the Space Wolf Smash Fucker.

*'''Wolf Guard Battle Leader in Terminator Armour:''' Finally, a Lieutenant in Terminator Armour, <strike>shame it's exclusive to the Wolves</strike> the Lion would like a word. 85pts compared to the power armoured 70pts. Gains a 5+ invulnerable, a storm bolter, and a power sword as default wargear.

*'''Wolf Guard Battle Leader on Thunderwolf:''' Lieutenant riding a Wolf. Has all the benefits as the Wolf Lord on a Thunderwolf above.

*'''Librarian/Rune Priest:''' Mobile cover is still useful, and with the Cloaked By the Storm Stratagem he can buff allies even without Storm Caller.
** '''Terminator:''' Can still take Storm Shields through Legends, giving them the staying power to keep up with Arjac and Logan Grimnar. That being said, why aren't you taking Njall?
** '''Biker (Legends):''' Allows them to keep up with Thunderwolf units for buffs, while being more survivable and carrying more dakka than the Jump Pack Librarian.

*'''Chaplain/Wolf Priest:''' Your Chaplain that also gets a stratagem that lets him heal like an apothecary. He makes you deadlier with the slew of different litanies he can attempt to invoke and braver (friendly Space Wolves within 6" use his Ld9), but can also heal wounded models. Makes a natural companion to Wolf Guard Battle Leaders, as their buffs are complementary, and the priest can keep the Wolf Guard alive. Remember to keep in mind that he can't return slain models back to a unit, unlike our apothecary brethren. Can't swap his gun for a power fist, unlike the codex version, instead of letting you take a power fist outright, which allows him to keep his pistol.
** '''Primaris Biker:''' Benefits from not being in Legends, +1W, and better guns. Lets them keep up effectively with Thunderwolf units.
** '''Dreadnought (FW Legends):''' Shares Bjorn's awesomesauce "ability" of being a 5++, 6+++ dread that can't be shot at (apart from snipers). Mentioned here as a gentle reminder that you really have the most Dreadnought options from any army.

*'''Techmarine/Iron Priest:''' Your Iron Priests have become generic Techmarines. Vehicles may be tougher this edition, but their performance diminishes with wounds, and this guy repairs them for 1d3 Wounds a turn, no roll required! Also in the 2020 codex, Techmarines can now give a vehicle +1 to hit during the command phase (hitting on 2+). Non-Primaris Techmarines that do NOT have a servo-harness can swap their axe and bolt pistol for a 9th edition helfrost pistol that has two fire modes (12", pistol d3, S4, AP-2, D1, blast or 12", pistol 1, S6, AP-4, D3) and 9th edition tempest hammer (thunder hammer with AP-3).
** '''Techmarine on Thunderwolf (Legends):''' One of two units that can have the 8th edition Iron Priest weapons; helfrost pistol (12", pistol 1, S8, AP-4, Dd3, models that aren't killed by this suffer a mortal wound on a 6) and tempest hammer (thunder hammer with the same special rule as the helfrost pistol).
** '''Techmarine on Bike (Legends):''' The best Iron Priest to babysit your multitude of Dreadnoughts. The other unit that can have a helfrost pistol (12", pistol 1, S8, AP-4, Dd3, models that aren't killed by this suffer a mortal wound on a 6) and tempest hammer (thunder hammer with the same special rule as the helfrost pistol).
** It would be up to you to decide if the two units above can use the weapon profiles featured in the 9th edition expansion or the 8th edition Legends. Arguments for 9th edition profiles would be that this is the most recent datasheet, and arguments for 8th edition would be those are the weapons on the profile and thus RAW.

====Special Characters====
*'''[[Logan Grimnar]]:''' Everybody's favourite Santa returns once more to the HQ slot but he's no less a killing machine than before. He comes equipped with Terminator armour, a 4++ invulnerable, a storm bolter and a big ol' axe, and is a venerable mountain of wounds, attacks and MANLINESS. He gained the Chapter Master keyword and ability (one Space Wolf Core unit within 6" re-rolls all failed hit rolls). He always counts as having completed his Warlord Trait, so his Chapter Master and Captain abilities are extended to 9", and Space Wolf units within 6" automatically pass morale tests. The Axe of Morkai now functions as either a thunder hammer without the hit penalty or a S+2, AP-3, D1, make-two-hit-rolls-for-each-attack GEQ blender. All for a neat 155pts.

*'''[[Logan Grimnar]] on Stormrider:''' For a mere 25pts extra, he can take his sled. Bumping his stats to T6, W14, and M10"/7"/4". He also gains 6A with the Thunderwolves teeth and claws (S+1, AP-2, D1), because fuck GEQs. He can also advance and charge like other Thunderwolves. Beware though; he swaps Infantry for Chariot, so some rules, abilities, or stratagems may not apply to him.
** Jolly Old Saint Logan can be a fairly cheap murder machine that fills out any list. Conferring a re-rolls to-hit aura to your Thunderwolves or Predator gunline, he is one of the few characters you want riding in front of your army. He soaks a decent amount of firepower with a 4++ invulnerable on 14 wounds and has a MANLY fight phase. He requires good [[Dakka]] to bring down and protects the rest of your list for at least a turn from most of the enemy's multi-wound shots. Great as a [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX]] and provides good aura buffs to boot.

*'''[[Arjac Rockfist]]:''' "<s>Mjolnir</s> Foehammer to me!"*cough* The Anvil of Fenris is your Wolf Guard Battle Leader in Terminator Armour. His standard Lt. aura is mostly a secondary role; his primary one is flattening enemy Characters and Monsters. S5 and A4 puts him on top of other WGBL's, in conjunction with his buffed thunder hammer which he can YEET at an enemy unit. R12", assault 1, S10, AP-3, D3, gains +1D against Character or Monsters, with the melee profile being that same S, AP, D, and rules, but also does NOT inflict a -1 hit penalty. His Champion of the Kingsguard rule lets him re-roll failed hit rolls in melee against Characters as well. WS2+, re-rolls hit rolls against Characters, and gains +1 to hit rolls from his Chapter Tactics mean you should really always be making four hits against Characters. He's also the only Marine so far to have kept an 8th edition storm shield, meaning he also has a 3++ invulnerable save.
** He's 120pts compared to a Battle Leader Hammernator's 105pts. For those 15pts, you gain a powerful weapon that outshines most relics, +1S, +1A, a 3++ invulnerable save, and an excellent character smasher. The only reason you'd take a generic Battle Leader is for relics or a Warlord Trait of your choice instead of Arjacs fixed Warlord Trait.
** An absolute auto-include if you're running an army with Terminators.

*'''[[Njal Stormcaller]]:''' Sticking the Tempest that Walks inside a suit of Runic Terminator Armour is a no brainer. At 140 pts he's got an extra wound, 5++ and the ability to deep strike. Along with his improved stat line Njal knows 3 Tempestas powers along with Smite so he can pick and choose which 2 he wants to cast with +1 on he psychic tests. He can also deny 2 enemy powers per turn with a re-roll on all of the attempts, combined with his psychic hood this gives you a damn good chance of denying an opponents powers which really matters with all the Smite spam out there this edition. Nightwing is still underwhelming but Assault 3 strength 3 shots are better than nothing. Play aggressively and drop him with another deep striking unit so he can support them, throw out Powers and shut down enemy casters.

*'''[[Bjorn the Fell Handed]]:''' Now that Bray'arth got taken out back and shot in the kneecaps by FW, Bjorn is roughly tied for toughest non-Leviathan Dreadnought now. T8, W8, Sv3+, 5+++ ignore wounds rolls, and Character makes him very hard to kill. He's kept his Captain re-roll 1's to hit aura and gained Duty Eternal from the Codex, meaning any damage he does suffer is reduced by 1. In melee, he packs five S12, AP-4, Dd6, re-rolling failed wound rolls. For shooting, he comes standard with a heavy flamer and assault cannon, which can be switched for a heavy plasma cannon, multi-melta, twin lascannon, or helfrost cannon. At M6", he has a fairly nippy power-waddle as well, and he's only 175pts with the assault cannon.
** He's an excellent addition to gunline armies compared to a regular Captain. The same aura, better shooting, tougher, and a better deterrent against enemies who get too close.

*'''[[Harald Deathwolf]]:''' This guy, right here. Exceedingly tough at T5, W7, 3+ armour, storm shield provides +1 to armour saves and a 4++ invulnerable, and his Mantle of the Troll King lowers any damage received by 1 (suck it, Dreadnoughts). He can deploy 9" from enemies and within 6" of the board edge through outflank to threaten a charge. His frost axe has undergone yet another change, coming out at S+2, AP-2, D2, wound rolls of UM6 inflict an additional MW.
** For 1CP, one Space Wolf Infantry unit gains outflank (cough, Wulfen, cough). It's a bit shitty that this can't be done to another Cavalry unit, but Canis, A Rune Priest on Bike or with Jump Pack, and a Thunderwolf unit should be able to safely get upfield where this guy can safely pop out to join in on the fun.

*'''[[Canis Wolfborn]]:''' Dog Dogborn has returned as a Thunderwolf Battle Leader with Frost lightning claws (S+1, AP-2, D2, re-roll failed wound rolls). He also fights first against Characters, and his unique aura boosts him to a borderline auto-take if you have a Thunderwolf Deathstar, as he grants +1A with Thunderwolf and Fenrisian Wolf teeth and claws. That being said, he's a glass cannon at T5, W6, Sv3+, and no invulnerable save.
** Similar to Arjac, it's possible to outfit a WGBL on Thunderwolf with similar equipment. Again, the only reason you'd take a generic version is for relics or Warlord Traits, and again, the difference is 15pts. You gain +2A (WGBL has 3 base, +1 from two lightning claws), +1S and +1D from Canis' claws, his anti-character rule, and his wolf aura.

*'''[[Krom Dragongaze]]:''' A fairly inexpensive but fluffy alternative to a regular footslogging Wolf Lord/Captain. At 90 pts he boasts an extra attack, his Wyrmclaw is a +3 strength, AP-2 D2, and he reduces enemy units' combat attrition tests within 3" by 1. Awesome model, and offers something different from the usual Wolf theme. Cheaper than similarly equipped Wolf Lord, making him the budget choice.

*'''[[Ragnar Blackmane]]:''' Got Primarised in the last edition. As expected he gets the extra wound and attacks (he is A7) that all Primaris have, but more conspicuously he replaces Shock Assault with his old Berserker Rage, giving him 3 attacks when Shock Assault would trigger instead of one. Additionally, he lets nearby Space Wolves within 6" make a consolidation move of 6" instead of the usual 3". And he has a re-roll charge aura for friendly SW non-vehicles within 6”. Get this guy in an Impulsor with either Incursors, Reivers or Veteran Intercessors (Give the Sarge something tasty) and then RIP AND TEAR, UNTIL IT IS DONE! Put short, this guy is a beast, but you'll probably want an Impulsor to get him where he wants to go, along with some Bladeguard Veterans.
**'''Ragnar Blackmane (Legends):''' His non-Primaris form comes in at 100 points, which is starting to hit the pricey side for a footslogging Lord. He's got an extra attack but has lost his Furious/Berserk charge bonuses of previous editions so isn't quite the whirlwind of charging death he used to be. His War Howl now grants all units within 6" re-rolls to failed charge rolls, Insane Bravado doubles his heroic intervention range and his Frost Sword hits at S5 AP-4 D2, chewing through anything without a decent Invulnerable save. If you're using a number of deep striking units Ragnar's a decent bet to support them in a pod, allowing anyone around him a better chance of hitting that first turn charge with his re-rolls. More expensive than a Smash Lord, and re-rolling charges is something Wulfen give.

*'''[[Ulrik the Slayer]]:''' Ulrik's a named Master of Sanctity with +1 to BS, W, and A, 9" to his Leadership-boosting ability, and the Slayer's Oath, which greatly improves his support ability provided he's managed to kill a Character or Monster (which isn't terribly likely, especially with his low mobility). Slayers oath now allows all Litanies cast to auto-cast instead of wounding bonuses, so he is more a buffer instead of a beater. Also has an AP-2 Crozius, for an almost relic blade.
**Even though he is footslogging, he has options to get where he is needed, and can seriously buff other units when he gets there. He is currently 30pts above a regular wolf priest.

===Troops===
*'''Grey Hunters: CORE.''' Tactical Marines, Space Wolf flavour. However, these guys are geared mostly towards assault. Each and every one can take a chainsword for 1pt each, and 5pts gets them a Wolf Banner, which lets them re-roll 1's when advancing and charging. They lack the ability to take heavy weapons, instead being able to take one special weapon per five Grey Hunters. Unlike regular Tacticals, your Sergeant is Ld7, and you have to pay extra for the Wolf Guard Pack Leader in either power armour or terminator armour to get Ld8. The Grey Hunter Pack Leader can replace their chainsword with a power axe, sword, or fist, and the WGPL can replace their weapons with any melee weapon, combi-weapon, or storm shield.
** One of the more popular and effective ways of running these guys is a 6-man unit that includes a Wolf Guard Pack Leader with a Combi-Plasma, a marine with a Plasma Pistol, and a marine with a Plasma Gun. That's 5 Plasma shots and 6 Bolter shots on a 128 pt troops choice. Stick them in a Razorback (Assault Cannons are fun). This setup allows Grey Hunters to reliably hunt MEQs, TEQs, charge weak models with Chainswords, and sit on objectives, making them one of the most versatile troop choices in the game.
** Due to the changes to Blood Claws and the introduction of Assault Intercessors along with Phobos units, the above strategy may be the most reasonable. Like other Tactical Marines, the only pressing use of Grey Hunters is access to assault weapons (they don't even get heavy weapons). Everybody else is either tougher, faster/sneakier, or more deadly on the charge.

*'''Blood Claws: CORE.''' Instead of starting as scouts, Space Wolves start you off as Diet Assault marines. 1A base + 1A from Shock Assault + 1A from Berserk Charge + 1A from chainswords makes them brutal on the charge. they also have a rule where they must charge if they are able. This isn't an issue most of the time, as that's where they want to be. However lets' say the closest unit is somehow a Leman Russ at 11". You're forced to charge it and if it's successful, you end up being stuck in combat where you'll probably dink off a few wounds by sheer numbers. If your opponent doesn't fall-back, you have to either spend another turn in combat with half the number of attacks (you haven't charged, thus you don't benefit from SA or BC), or you must fall-back and be unable to charge.
** Remember, the whole unit is a Blood Claws unit, so buffs like Lukas or Wulfen resolve against the Wolf Guard model, too.
** You can stuff three 5 man squads with a power-armoured Character into a Land Raider Crusader. Solves troops requirements for battalions, takes up 1 model for deployment rather than 5, and altogether serves as a top-notch horde/chaff removal tool allowing other units to move about more freely. Excellent place to make use of a stalker pack if you have the CP.
** Functionally, these guys are very similar to Assault Intercessors, being 1 point cheaper per model but without heavy bolt pistols and the need for HQ support, yet they can access a much more diverse selection of transports and can take better Wolf Guard options/buffing opportunities. Both units dish out 4 attacks on the charge with Astartes Chainswords, at WS 3+, with 2 wounds.
** Do you like Orks? These guys allow you to play Space Marines as if they were Orks. 16 Blood Claws will provide you 32 power armoured wounds on a single unit, making it difficult for your opponent to claim objective markers and unit killing objectives. Additionally at that size, even if a lot of the pack dies, a bunch will reach melee and make anybody suffer. Take three units of these for way too much wound saturation for your enemy to be able to effectively counter you.
** Something to note is that you only have to declare a charge against the closest enemy unit. You do not have to charge them if there is another enemy unit within charging distance.

===Elites===

*'''Wolf Scouts/Scout Squad:''' Not a unit by themselves anymore. You're a Scout Squad with two Space Wolf-exclusive options; one Scouts boltgun can be swapped for a special weapon instead of a heavy bolter or missile launcher and one Scouts boltgun and bolt pistol can be replace for a bolt pistol and power sword, bolt pistol and power axe, or boltgun and plasma pistol. Not too expensive to Outflank and spray five plasma shots against a target though.

*'''Hounds of Morkai:''' For whatever reason, the furries now get a special Reiver squad made to kill Psykers (hardly surprising given the beef against the Thousand Sons and Grey Knights). These guys have a fixed load-out of grapnels, pistols, and combat knives, so no Deep Striking. Either cram them in a Transport or Outflank them with grapnels. They can always target Psykers with shooting, even if they're Characters, and they gain +1 to hit rolls and +1D against them too. In terms of defence, this unit has a 4+ save against MW's caused in the Psychic Phase, and casters within 18" suffer -1 to Psychic Tests, rising to -2 if they're within 6". With that said, they've lost Terror Troops and Shock Grenades.
**The psychic suppression allows a broken combo; rule of three lets you take up to three units of Hounds. -1 to cast at 18" of THE unit, not a unit and -2 at under 6" stacks a written. What else stacks? Sisters of Silence who also have a 18" -1 modifier to cast or deny that stacks to a maximum of -4. The Culexus causes a further -2. Inquisitor Karamazov has the Supreme Will rule for -1 within 12". There is also the Galthamor relic which also gives a 18" bubble of -1. Assuming they stack, that's a theoretical -4 for the sisters, -2 for the Culexus Culexus, up to -6 for Hounds at short range, -1 for Karamazov and a further -1 and mortal wounds for the relic. That's an insane potential -14 to cast or a lot table coverage at a lower penalty in a otherwise impractical army. Grey Knights, Thousand Sons and Magnus would be unable to cast against that and it would make Abhor the Witch a near foregone conclusion. Await a FAQ to disallow this, although it'll fit the some of the fluff of nullifying the Thousand Sons during the burning of Prospero.

*'''Lone Wolf (Legends):''' He's now more expensive than a Primaris Lieutenant, with a worse statline and zero buffing ability. He DOES have better wargear, and rerolls 1s against monsters and characters, but is awkward to transport, expensive when geared up, and he takes up one of the most crowded parts of your FoC. In the past, his utility was found in being cheap enough to be disposable while still being a credible threat to lone characters and monsters, and now with 3 attacks at 75+ points, he's neither. Hard skip. His one redeeming factor could be his one chucklesome ability to ignore the loss of his last wound, rolled per hit, which makes him acceptably good at tying up high damage, low attack volume models.

*'''Lone Wolf in Terminator Armour (Legends):''' He's less terrible than his PA equivalent, but now costs more than a Wolf Lord. Teleport this bad boy next to the enemy and hope he gets his charge off. If not, your opponent will have to dump a fair bit of firepower into bringing him down, and as a character, that's only if he's the closest unit to them.

*'''Wulfen:''' One of the best melee units from 8th, the Pack Leader can now swap out their weapons to match their companions. They cannot perform actions, so don't expect them to help with VP in that way. S5, T5, W2, and a 4+ makes them a little survivable, but not much. Not too much of an issue once they've gotten stuck in with melee as they always make an attack before being removed from the field. This unit always counts as being in the Assault Doctrine (thus always benefiting from the extra AP on melee weapons as well as the exploding 6's with melee attacks if you have an all-Space Wolf army) and as always having charged for Shock Assault. Finally, Space Wolf Infantry, Biker, and Cavalry units within 6" and Blood Claw units within 1" always re-roll failed charge rolls. So, 3A base + 1A from always having counted as charged. How are you using those attacks? Wulfen claws only give them AP-1, but frost claws are S+1, AP-2, D1, give +1A and re-roll failed wound rolls, and they only cost 5pts each. So unless you're lobotomized, the frost claws are effectively the basic weapon. They can be swapped for the MEQ-mulching great frost axe (S+3, AP-3, D2), but we both know you're here for the thunder hammer and storm shield combo. It does get expensive quickly however, pushing them to 41pts per model. That being said, it is always worth having at least two in your squad, as you're only sv4+ but become Sv3+/4++ with the inclusion of the shields.

January 2022 Updates: Wulfens got a nice point reduction: -2 for base model, -3 for Axes, and massive -6 for Hammer+Shield, thus making a THSS Wulfen a sneaky 30 ppm. Full "TH+SS" squad will cost us 145 points, which is not a big investment for a unit that can MURDERIZE ANYTHING in line of sight.

*'''[[Dreadnought]]: Core.''' Same as the one mentioned in Codex: Space Marines, but you get the option to swap the powerfist (Sx2, AP-3, D3) for a great wolf claw (S+4, AP-2, D3, re-rolling failed wounds).

*'''[[Dreadnought#Castraferrum_Pattern|Venerable Dreadnought]]: Core.''' Again gaining the option to replace a powerfist with a great wolf claw, they also can swap all their assault cannon and powerfist for a Fenrisian great axe and blizzard shield. The blizzard shield provides a tasty 4++ invulnerable save, but the Fenrisian great axe is for when you really want to clear out those swarming 'Gaunts and then slice a Carnifex in half the next turn. Scythe mode is SU, AP-3, D1, but you get two hit rolls for each A. Cleave mode is S+4, AP-3, Dd3+3, but you suffer -1 to hit rolls.

*'''Wulfen Dreadnought:''' The Furioso Dreadnoughts aren't the only melee specialist dreads now. Only has a single storm bolter or heavy flamer as standard, but its paired axe and wolf claw make it a death machine in melee and it can re-roll failed charges. Going for single-wound infantry? Flamer and axe, since he gets to swing eight times with it. Going for anything else? Flamer and claw, since you re-roll failed wound rolls and always deal 3 damage in melee. Be careful about which armies you pit him against.
**If you take the claw and shield combination, you actually end up with two storm bolters, any of which can be swapped for a heavy flamer. If you decide on the storm bolters, remember he's only BS5+.

====Wolf Guard====

Many units from Codex Space Marines gain Wolf Guard. This is important for certain rules and stratagems that only affect Wolf Guard. They're listed below;
* '''Company Champion.'''
* '''Ancients of all flavours.'''
* '''Company Veterans.'''
* '''Intercessor Veterans.'''
* '''Bladeguard Veterans.'''
* '''Terminator Veterans.'''
* '''Terminator Assault Veterans.'''
* '''Relic Terminator Veterans.'''

*'''Wolf Guard:''' The Space Wolf equivalent of the various types of Veterans, Wolf Guard lack any sort of bodyguard ability or special weapons. Instead, you have your pick from combi-weapons, melee weapons, plasma pistols, and storm shields (the only caveat is they can only have one combi-weapon each). They also have the option of taking jump packs for 2pts per model.

*'''Wolf Guard Terminators:''' Similar to their power-armoured little brothers, Wolf Guard Terminators can mix-and-match close combat and ranged loadouts, and can equip each Terminator with combi-weapons (much like Chaos Terminators). Mixing and matching mean you can protect your assault cannon Wolf Guard with a few storm shield-wearing Wolf Guard.
** One alternate way to look at the Terminator Wolf guard is as an exceedingly tough dakka squad; equip each one with a storm shield and combi-weapon, and you've got a 1+/4++, 3W deep striking unit with exceptional ranged output.
** As for melee, mix and match to your hearts content. Lightning claws, hammernators, sword and board, you name it.

*'''Wolf Guard on Bikes (Legends):''' One option that fills a similar role to Thunderwolves in a fast moving shock unit, but a bit more geared towards shooting than stabbing. Each model can take a combi weapon and any combination of melee weapons, shield, or bolt/plasma pistol.
** Like the Wolf Guard Terminators, this can become yet another tough dakka squad. Two storm bolters and a couple storm shields mixed with melee weapons makes for a lot of shots with each model pumping out eight bolter shots at 24". A couple storm shields bump the squad to 2+/4++ and melee weapons help in case they get caught in an enemy charge.

====Special Characters====

*'''Lukas the Trickster:''' WS2+, W5, A5, and a S+1, AP-2, D2, re-roll failed wound rolls melee weapon, he's no slouch in combat. He also has a plasma pistol, so don't overcharge it unless you want to risk becoming a cartoonish pair of smoking boots on the ground. He can also never be hit on a roll of unmodified 1-3, so fear Snipers a little less. He also has a lite version of the old Chapter Master aura, in that Blood, Sky, and Swift Claw units within 6" can re-roll all failed hit rolls. If he's killed in melee, both players roll off; if you win, the enemy unit that killed him suffers d6 MW's. Finally, the bad stuff, he can never have a Warlord Trait and ALL Space Wolf units within 6" suffer -1Ld.
** Lukas saw a deep discount going into 9th, dropping from 110pts to 80pts.
** You may think cramming Lukas and three five-man Blood Claw Packs into a Crusader is a good way to go. You wouldn't be wrong per se, but they will easily be one of the most cowardly Marine units at Ld6.

*'''MURDERFANG:''' What Bjorn is to Venerable Dreadnoughts, this guy is to Wulfen Dreadnoughts. As a Character with fewer than 10 wounds, Murderfang can only be targeted with ranged weapons if he's the closest enemy. With a decent screen of infantry and good use of his Murderlust ability, getting him into close combat unharmed is almost too easy. His weapons are the Murderclaws (Sx2, AP-3, D3, re-roll failed wound rolls), a storm bolter, and heavy flamer. Ignore the bolter, you're BS5+. As a Wulfen, he cannot be your Warlord or perform an action. However he gains a the Duty Eternal ability and +3A from Shock Assault instead of +1, so he's swinging his claws eight times if he charges.

===Dedicated Transports===

*'''Razorback:''' Good for carting a Grey Hunter + Wolf Guard Pack Leader as a makeshift special weapon squad that has some teeth with melee.

*'''Dreadnought Drop Pod (FW):''' C'mon, you know you want to see what happens when you Deep Strike Murderfang into the enemy army.

*'''Termite Assault Drill (FW):''' Everything that it does for regular Space Marines, it does better for Space Wolves due to their desire to be stabbin'.

*'''[[Impulsor]]:''' With Ragnar now being a Primarine, stuffing him and Assault Intercessors or Bladeguard Veterans inside one is a respectable choice.

===Flyers===

*'''[[Stormwolf]]:''' The [[Stormwolf]] is the Space Wolves equivalent of a [[Stormraven]] Gunship, only it's a bit more expensive, holds 16 models and no dreadnoughts, and has better guns. The flying refrigerator (wolf snout?) looks a bit doofy, but don't be fooled: this thing rocks. With the default [[lascannons]]/[[helfrost]]/heavy [[bolter]] loadout, the Stormwolf can handle a variety of threats with ease, and you have the option of dropping the heavy bolters for skyhammer missiles to deal with flyers or two twin multi meltas to kill the bigger stuff (although this option will cost you a whole lot of points). With it's Flyer mobility you can feel a lot more comfortable sinking points into it though as it can essentially deliver 2 Long Fang squads worth of Heavy Weapons exactly where you want on turn 1. Build your heavy support around this beast and equip it to your needs. The Stormwolf works fairly well on its own, and it might even be preferable to not put infantry inside because it's already going to be a massive target on the table, but the option is there should you want to stuff a bunch of Blood Claws or Terminators inside.
**SW are not prevented from fielding the [[Stormraven]], so it's not a replacement, it's an alternative. The [[Stormwolf]] features a larger infantry transport capacity than the storm raven, but trades that for no dreadnought transportation option. The two are otherwise very similar in both weaponry and defensive profile. Main thing is that this can hold an entire maxiumum size [[Bloodclaw]] unit, while the Stormraven cannot.

*'''Stormfang Gunship:''' The Stormfang is extremely similar to the Stormwolf in appearance (same kit), however, the Stormfang is very focused on anti-tank, with a reduced transport capacity. Hellfrost cannon features D3 shots with a scary flat Damage 6 attack at-4 AP. The Stormstrike Missiles feature flat 3 damage each, or can be replaced with d6 damage lascannons. And another 2 melta arrays featuring d3 shots each with the melta d6+2 at half range (half range is 12"). And all of these at AP-3 or AP-4. So it's up to 78 damage at a minimum of -3 AP (from 12" away and with perfect rolling). The main downside to the Stormfang is that it's overkill against most targets, and the opponent might not even bring anything to justify your stormfang.

===Fast Attack===

*'''[[Fenrisian Wolves]]:''' Fast and do some damage now that they fight at AP-1, but still die to a stiff breeze (T4, W1, Sv6+). Very cheap FA chaff, they gain more leadership the more wolves you have in a unit, but it's still pretty crappy. If you want them to get into combat and do some damage you'll need a Wolf Priest to shepherd them, otherwise, leave them as fodder.
** These guys are basically our only good screening option if you don't want to ally with another Imperium faction. A unit of 10 or 15 dogs is cheap and makes for a fairly decent screen to help us against smiting and mortal wound spam. Consider taking them if you have a hole to fill in your list. These guys have AWFUL leadership though, and you are very likely to lose just as many models to moral as you are to shooting, which is not what you want from a screen. Don't expect these to be as effective as a Conscript conga.

*'''Cyberwolves:''' This lets you field just the Fenrisian Wolves sergeant, in units of 1-3; the big seller here is that this is the cheapest thing any SM faction can field, period, at 15 points for an entire unit. If you literally just need a cheap body to throw at a problem, this unit has you covered.

*'''[[Swiftclaw|Swiftclaws]]: CORE.''' Almost standard Space Marine Bikers. 30pts for a M14", T5, W3 model, with a storm bolter and chainsword (because as Space Wolves, you're going to swap the bolt pistol for a chainsword). The Sergeant can have a combi-weapon, melee weapon, or pistol weapon instead of the chainsword, and 0-2 Bikers can swap their chainsword for a special weapon or the Space Wolf-exclusive plasma pistol. This gives you the flexibility to be a very fast and tough special weapon unit. Their unit size is a fairly chunky 3-15 models, making them one of the bigger units available to Marines. Page 45 of the Space Wolf Codex has given them the iconic Blood Claw abilities of Headstrong (must charge the closest enemy unit unless the unit contains a wolf Guard... which isn't an option for Swiftclaws) and Berserk Charge (+1A after charging). GW truly would've been better off just giving them their own unit entry in the SW Codex.
** 175pts gets you three Bikers with meltaguns and an Attack Bike with a multi-melta. This has competition with Eradicators, who are 160pts for three models with two melta rifles (24" assault 1 meltaguns) and one multi-melta. Both are T5, W3 (W4 for the Attack Bike), and Sv3+. The Eradicators can shoot twice at one target if they haven't advanced, giving them 4-8 attacks with a 24" range, but the Bikers need to be within 12" to get their maximum five attacks. Bikers are FAR faster with M14" and a 6" advance, can take basic Bikers for ablative wounds, and also have four bolter shots per model to provide some opportunistic D1 firepower. Both are great anti-tank options.
** As far as anti-infantry goes, 150pts gets you three Outriders or five Swiftclaws (or four Swiftclaws with special weapons). Three Outriders give you 12 AP-1 shooting attacks and 18 AP-1 melee attacks after charging (2A base, +2A for charging, +1A for chainsword, +1A for Shock Assault). In the same scenario, five Swiftclaws give you 20 AP0 shooting attacks and 20 AP-1 melee attacks (1A base, +1A for charging, +1A for chainsword, +1A for Shock Assault). Outriders are individually tougher with W4, meaning they need at LEAST two Dd3 attacks to take down, and also do not have to charge the closest enemy unit, but Swiftclaws give you more attacks.

*'''[[Skyclaw|Skyclaws]]: CORE.''' Skyclaws are essentially Blood Claws with jump packs; but their extra attack when charging gives them an edge over other versions of Assault Marines. This means they might just be worth it, especially if babysat by a jump-pack Character.
** RAW; "Up to two Skyclaw and Skyclaw Pack Leaders' bolt pistols can be replaced with one of the following: one plasma pistol; one weapon from the special weapons list". It's up to you to decide whether this grants you two or three special weapons. If it grants you three, these guys quickly rise to one of the best kamikaze units in the Astartes range once you add in a combi-weapon Wolf Guard. This is especially true with anything more than Flamers in this edition since they have a 3+bs and not a 4+bs as in 8th.

*'''[[Thunderwolf Cavalry]]: CORE.''' Remained somewhat the same from 8th but now with 4W per model wich is nice. But losing wolf claws is a smidge of a kick in the teeth. The teeth and claws give three extra S5, AP-2, D1 attacks per model, a slight increase from AP-1 last edition. Shove storm shields on them to bump them up to an amazing standard of survivability. Their Swift Hunters rule allows them to charge after advancing, giving them a 13" - 28" threat range, and the Wolf Guard Keyword gives you access to some WG-only stratagems and Character Auras.
** By themselves, these guys are pretty good, but they do need to be combo'd to becomes the murder machines of 7th. Harald Deathwolf grants them Ld9, Canis Wolfborn grants them an extra attack with teeth and claws, Wulfen let them re-roll failed charge distances. Wolf Priests and Rune Priests on Bikes give them the usual benefits of those two Characters.
** You could give the Pack Leader a Frost Weapon upgrade for 1CP on two lightning claws; that would give him A6 on the charge with S5, AP-2, D2, hitting on 2's and full re-rolls to-wound.

===Heavy Support===

*'''[[Long Fang|Long Fangs]]:''' The Space Wolves version of [[Devastator Squad|Devastators]], only older and wiser. 9th has boiled away their unique hunter rule, and you're now just a Devastators all with Ld8 through the whole team and can take a Wolf Guard with or without Terminator armour as an extra weapons platform. The armourium cherub lets one model shoot twice once per game, and the signum lets one model shoot at BS2+ once per turn. The Long Fang Pack Leader can still take a special weapon in place of a boltgun though, so that's something.
** Combine the cherub and signum. On turn 1, use the signum on a key gun (e.g. lascannon) and then use the cherub to get the extra shot. The signum will apply for the whole phase, meaning 2 powerful shots at BS2+.
** The Wolf Guard does give extra firepower and mass, being able to raise to the pinnacle of Terminator-mounted dakka; storm shield, storm bolter, cyclone missile launcher. It's a good model to use the signum and cherub on, netting you four BS2+ frag or krak missiles in one turn. This is somewhat expensive though, with this model raising to 63pts.

===Lords of War===

*'''Wrath of Mjalnar (Open Play Only, Chapter Approved 2017):''' The Wolves' unique take on the Land Raider is inexplicably power level 30 and drops the twin heavy bolters for a twin helfrost cannon (24", heavy 2d3, S6, AP-2, D1 or 24", heavy 2, S8, AP-4, Dd6). It's more flexible, but with heavy bolters being bumped up to D2, it's fallen behind the 9th edition curve. That being said; as this unit can only be taken in Open Play games, your opponent probably won't have an issue with you using the much better twin helfrost cannon profile that can be found on the Stormwolf. Oh and this unit can transport five models, if that even matters.

==Building your Army==
*'''The UPGRADE HAMMER AND ANVIL:''' This build simply takes leverage on increasing the number of attacks available to your units. Built around a character (probably a Wolf Lord) with wulfenstone and saga of the wolfkin, along with Arjac Rockfist and 3 units of Wolfguard. They could be outflanked, etc, or deep strike in, if terminator variant (this is the easiest to build, because Arjac is in a termi suit). This will give them +3 attacks on the charge. 15 wolf guard with 5 attacks each (8 on the Pack Leaders) with thunder hammer and storm shields will make your opponent sit up and take notice. You can add a unit of Wulfen for the saga's less aggressive cousin, giving you the same +1A it grants on the very rare turns where you neither charged nor were charged but are in melee; without the saga, the Wulfen also supply the +1A on turns you were charged. For bonus spice, take along a rune priest with the Armor of Russ; Always Strikes Last will usually let you delete anything you're in melee with before it gets to swing, even if you didn't get the charge off, and between Tempest's Wrath and Storm Caller, you should be incredibly durable.
**Note: This can be done in a variety of combinations, too. You have about 300 points left to play with for as many dogs as you can fit in. You can have 5 units of 10-12 Fenrisian wolves, 3 thunderwolf cavalry, all with an extra attack, hammers and bites, and still have room for 4 x 5 man wolf guard units with frost axes storm shields with arjac and wolf lord all with Jet packs with 4 attacks EACH! What does the opponent shoot. The 70 wolves and cavalry running toward them using cover etc, or the turn 2 deep strike into cover of 4 units of wolf guard.
**If you swap out Saga of the Wolfkin for Saga of the Hunter, and swap Arjac for a Wolf Guard Battle Leader on a bike, along with a Wolf Lord on a bike and a Rune Priest on a bike, you'll be able to make White Scars drool. Take along plenty of Wolf Guard on Bikes with Thunder Hammers and Storm Shields; a minimum unit of them will have 16 attacks within range of the Wulfenstone, and the Saga of the Hunter (just charge with your Warlord first, to turn his trait into an aura buff) will let the entire deathstar (provided it's within 6" of the Warlord when it charges) charge after advancing, for 20" of sweet, sweet melee threat. Of course, you can keep Saga of the Wolfkin - it's harder to activate, but once it's up, you've traded threat range for quantity of attacks, which is usually going to be better, once you're in the thick of things.
*'''Razor Wolves:''' This is an old classic, and it's now better than ever. Take a battalion with AT LEAST 4 min Grey Hunter squads and shove them all in assault cannon razorbacks. This is your core, now you can do what you want.
**You're probably thinking that's a lot of dakka, and you're right! that's why for our HQ slots we are gonna take both a Wolf Lord and a Wolf Guard Battle Leader, put them both on bikes, take storm bolters, and run them up with your Razorbacks to re-roll ALL THE ONES. This is all going to set you back around 900pts.
*'''-The Support- :''' This is your empty Stormwolf. Don't bother using it as a transport, it's just a gunship with some empty seats, and you don't want to park this thing to let guys out. The most efficient way to take this is with the Skyhammer missiles, which are actually cheaper than the Heavy Bolters (We have assault cannons, we don't need HB's) which give us all the anti vehicle we need at a MUCH lower price than the multi-meltas. They ARE worth the points, but your opponent WILL shoot their entire army at this thing until it goes down if you take them. Don't expect this vehicle to live to see turn 3 if you take the melta's. With the points we saved on the flyer, we can safely take a squad of Longfangs with 4 Lascannons without feeling stripped of cash. these 2 units should be all the heavy support you need and this altogether leaves you just under 180 points for a 1500 list. Anything else you add to this list pretty much depends on what points you are playing, if it's a 1500 point game, just upgrade your everything with plasma's and power weapons.
*'''Fluffy List:''' If you prefer to goof around with big doggies than tanks and bolters, this is the list for you. Take an outrider detatchment, take Logan on his sled as your warlord, take 2 4-5 man units of thunderwolf cavalry and run them up opposite sides of the board with a group of 15 Fenrisian wolves each and then either ally with Astra Militarum or take a load of heavy support. You could take a spearhead for this with a wolf guard on thunderwolf to add to Logans aura buff or a rune priest on bike as your hq, and spam preds, long fangs, dakka dreadnaughts, stormwolfs etc. If you can bear with the awful models, Wulfen would add some value to this list. Not very competitive, but way more fun than it should be.
*'''Ally with Guard:''' The 8th ed codex has made Astra militarum REALLY strong, and with the ability to take just heavy supports and a HQ, you can pull off some really gross stuff as allies. Take a Cadian spearhead and 3 heavy support squads with 3 lascannons each, and a company commander as your hq to order them to reroll stuff. This is gonna give you a command point and 9 lascannons for a total of 246 points. You can pretty much put this in any list and get away with it. Feel free to take a few Basilisks or a Manticore while you are at it, or buy 50 conscripts and a commissar to hold your side of the board while all your furries run into the enemy deployment.
*'''Parking Lot - Wolf Edition:''' Same principle as the Dark Angels parking lot, but instead using Bjorn and Murderfang as your staple units, basically you take the following Characters and just hide them behind a wall of Razorbacks and Wolf Guard/Grey Hunters for high value ranged damage output and having high melee damage potential while also giving everything some great buffs: Bjorn, Murderfang, Wolf Guard Battle Leader, Rune Priest with Storm Caller, Primaris Ancient. Combine this with one or two distraction units on the flanks and target priory becomes very hard for your opponent while you are able to capitalize on a very strong ranged early game which can in theory protect your two Character Dreadnaughts long enough to get stuck into something big together and easily take down the largest of foes, even if they do go down you should hopefully be able to make very effective use of ONLY IN DEATH DOES DUTY END to take down something with you.
*'''Cunning of the Wolf:''' Chapter Approved has given us outflanking, in the form of the 'Cunning of the Wolf' stratagem. Grey Hunters can arrive uncomfortably close to your opponents units, pour plasma into them, and then get stuck in close combat. If you get your angles right, you may even be able to target characters. 1 or 2 squads arriving in this fashion is a decent (and fluffy) addition to most armies, but it can also be good bant to build entire lists around this stratagem. Bring 3 or 4 full plasma squads like this, along with chainswords and power/frost weapons, and watch your opponent's back line melt. Use the rest of the points to compensate for your lack of anti-armour and tougher units - Stormwolfs/fangs, terminator squads, and jump-pack WGBLs synergizes well.
*'''The Air Pack:''' Bring 3 Stormwolf's or Stormfang's, a Lord w/ Jump Pack, Battle Leader w/ Jump Pack, and Rune Priest w/ Jump pack. The Rune Priest needs to know Storm Caller and you need to spend 3 CP on Cloaked by the Storm. Advance the characters so that they can keep up with the gunships for 1-2 turns. Then move the gunships out of range or put them in hover depending on the opponent. Put some Bloodclaws or Wulfen in those Gunships to help with the assault. This requires positioning, but you can have 3 gunships with re-rolling 1's to hit and wound, with Cover and -2 to be hit. It is expensive, both in points and CP, but it is a pretty fun list, and your opponents will despair at hitting those -2 and in Cover gunships.

==Tactics==

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000 9E]]

[[Category: Warhammer 40000 Tactics (9E)]]

[[Category: Imperial]]

[[Category: Space Marines]]

[[Category: Space Wolves]]

{{Warhammer_40k_Tactics}}

Vindicare

2026-03-25T06:16:24Z

Archange1: Undo revision 1008319 by 192.42.116.179 (talk)

[[Image:Officialvindicare.jpg‎|thumb|right|BOOM, HEADSHOT!]]
{{Topquote|Exitus Acta Probat - The Outcome Justifies the Deed.|Motto of the Vindicare (and George Washington's family) Temple}}
{{Topquote|What I mean by that, sir, is if you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from [[Nazi|Adolf Hitler]]... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over. Amen.|Pvt. Jackson, ''Saving Private Ryan''}}
{{Topquote|You want to know why they put me in charge? It's because I'm willing to do what needs to be done. Good soldiers follow orders.|[[Star Wars|CT-9904 "Crosshair"]], who is basically a Vindicare in the wrong universe}}.

'''Vindicare''' (Latin: present active infinitive of Vindico, thus meaning "to avenge/vindicate/punish, to liberate/deliver/spare, or to defend/protect, depending on the context) assassins are one of the varieties of [[Assassin|assassin]] fielded by the [[Officio Assassinorum]] in the [[Warhammer 40k]] universe. They are superlative snipers capable of making accurate shots from ridiculous distances (and also doing 360 noscopes without hassles), selected for their natural talent and further honed by extensive training and indoctrination by the Vindicare Temple. The primary weapon of the Vindicare is the infamous [[Exitus Sniper Rifle]] (Latin, lit. "exit" fig. conclusion, termination). In addition to the "ordinary" solid slug projectiles it can fire, an assortment of special munitions are available for the weapon, allowing the Vindicare to engage different types of target effectively. They also are some of the most lurvely looking, because of their bad-ass visors.

Occasionally known as "[[Ork Snipers]]" after [[Celestial Lions|a particularly humorous after-action report]] filed by the [[Inquisition]].

/tg/'s most well-known Vindicare is [[LIIVI]] of [[Love Can Bloom]] fame, an agent sent to [[Dawn of War#Dark Crusade|Kronus]] who turned rogue and deserted the Imperium when he [[Heresy|fell in love]] with the [[Eldar]] farseer [[Taldeer]].

==Overview==

{{Topquote|Super lengthy range / All is visible to me / I watch as you pee.|Vindicare Assassin Zer0(Somefag)}}

As with all initiates to the [[Officio Assassinorum]], Vindicare Assassins are either orphans or have been abandoned as young children, generally from the [[Schola Progenium]] but potentially also from elsewhere. They are taken aboard special training ships back to Terra for sorting, where they undergo grueling training regimes intended to winnow them down and sort out the exceptional candidates. When they reach Terra, they are sorted according to their aptitudes and reassigned to the temple that suits them best. Where they will undergo a further ten years of apprenticeship learning their craft before they are considered ready to take a mission of their own.

[[Dark Heresy]] also tells of VERY high profile, but "ordinary", assassins/bounty hunters/killers taken as adults to Terra and made into Vindicare Assassins. The [[Inquisition]] can sometimes make requests on behalf of a particularly gifted candidate, but the Officio Assassinorum has agents all over the galaxy scouting for new talent. If they are considered suitable may be given an opportunity to test their skills, typically by receiving an anonymous contract to assassinate a dangerous target. If they succeed then they are taken by a swift vessel directly to the Assassinorum Temple where they begin their brutal apprenticeship as if they were child candidates, receiving the same biological implants to increase their speed and accuracy as well as hypno conditioning to harden their minds and effectively burn their old identity away.

Though all Temple Assassins are augmented to some degree or another, usually to increase their reflexes and response times and sometimes aided by the [[Bodyglove|Panoply of the Assassin]] that they wear, Vindicares are not [[Callidus|shapeshifting infiltrators]], [[Eversor|drugged-up death machines with two hearts]], or [[Culexus|psychic voids]]; instead they are just a dude with a very nice gun. The Vindicare Temple is probably the least biologically interesting of the big four and is probably one of the reasons that adult candidates might be considered acceptable. Modifications are kept subtle, if powerful. For example, Vindicares don't need to sleep, and older ones ''cannot'' sleep at all even if they wish to.

While a Vindicare Assassin is still a perfect specimen of the physical human form, their particular direction is more related to maintaining mental discipline, allowing them to hold perfectly still for VERY long periods of time ''(we can be talking years)'' waiting for the perfect shot, without suffering from the stresses of loneliness or degrading due to physical atrophy. Perhaps because of this incredible self-discipline, it appears that they are most suited to leadership roles when the various Temples get together to form an [[Assassinorum Execution Force|Execution Force]].

Fully fledged Assassins are ordered to avoid ''all'' human contact, except for their handlers. Even though sometimes there will be other circumstances that prevent them from succeeding (say their target chokes on a bagel and dies) and there has got to be some situations where interacting with others could be the key factor in getting to the necessary vantage point to put a bullet into the guy. This is meant to reduce the chance of heresy or desertion - if they don't know even the basics of socialization, it'll be hard for them to hesitate to fire or to be corrupted. Difficult, but not impossible. [[Grimdark]] indeed.

(Heck, Warmaster Horus managed to sway one of them to SWITCH SIDES and targeted Euphrati Keeler! He fails thanks to Garro though)

===Armament===
{{Topquote|I’m not a crazed gunman, dad. I’m an assassin.|Vindicare Assassin [[Hats|Mundy]]}}

The primary weapons are the '''[[Exitus Sniper Rifle]]''' and the '''[[Exitus Pistol]]'''. These weapons are provided to the Assassin as part of a matching set, hand-crafted by a Magos of the Adeptus Mechanicus. They are perfectly customised to the specification of the particular individual and are some of the finest weapons that the Imperium has ever produced. Both Pistol and Rifle can chamber the same ammunition, meaning there is no need to carry separate magazines and they both incorporate sophisticated miniature machine spirits and silencers.

The ammunition for those weapons are just as interesting as the weapons themselves. Each round contains a micro-cogitator that turns it into a guided projectile that is able to make corrections to its trajectory mid-flight making it almost impossible for the target to avoid or dodge. This is especially good considering that they are being fired at by some of the greatest marksmen in the galaxy with one of the finest weapons available, meaning that a kill shot is virtually guaranteed. The casing of each round can also be programmed to self-destruct after being fired where it will disintegrate and leave no evidence, or any valuable technology that can be stolen and replicated.

Conventional rounds can also be used and are cheaper to manufacture, but are less effective…usually. It is still necessary however for the assassin to train with conventional rounds to improve his accuracy. The right to use guided rounds is earned. Usually after three confirmed kills. Additionally, it may be the Vindicare’s choice to use conventional rounds simply for the challenge.

The rounds can be further modified for various purposes, though these specialist rounds are incredibly difficult and time-consuming to manufacture, meaning they don't get issued in large amounts.
*'''Shield Breaker Rounds:''' each round is treated with a psychically charged imprint and contains anti-phase technology that allows it to pass through any protective energy shield from any source, whether technological or warp based. The Mechanicus don't really understand how this works, but they know enough to replicate it.
*'''Hellfire Rounds:''' The Exitus round contains a vial of mutagenic acid that can eat away at organic matter and corrode metal.
*'''Immolator rounds:''' The exitus round contains a “cellular disintegrator” that causes any organic object hit by it to explode in such a way that it leaves nothing behind. Explicitly used to cause fear and distrust. Either by framing the target individual as a suicide bomber, or to intimidate the target’s supporters if they are aware of who fired it. These rounds are usually conventional rather than guided, and are often used during conventional sniper operations.
*'''Turbo-Penetrator Rounds (whaha-hey!):''' a [[What|"hypervelocity adamantine jacketed shell surrounding a magno-sealed flux needle"]]. Essentially a super-duper sabot round that can pierce any target down to the molecular level.

In addition to the Exitus Sniper rifle, and pistol combo. Assassins will carry a number of other long-range weapons, including [[Long-Las]], [[Immolation Rifle]]s, and very rarely [[Astartes Boltgun|stalker bolters]]. They also carry a couple of [[Grenades & Explosives#Blind Grenade|Blind Grenades]] in the off chance that the assassin gets wrong-footed and need to escape. For super close encounters, they are seen armed with a [[Power Weapon#Power Blade|Power Blade]], unfortunately, [[Fail|there are no rules for this weapon making the Vindicare helpless against CQC]].

Aside from weapons, the suit the Vindicare wears is a work of art: their Synskin is a cameleoline bodyglove that bonds with the assassin's body to enhance their reflexes and protect them from exposure to hazardous environments as well as providing a modest amount of armour. The stealth capabilities render them invisible to several types of sensors while the cameleoline makes them simply ''harder to see'' when they remain motionless; making it the perfect tool for an embedded sniper.

In addition, the nature of the body glove allows for modular armour plates to occasionally be placed on the armour if necessary. Said plates are usually made of either Ceramite or Adamantium and explicitly spaced to allow for maximum coverage of vital organs in the event of the presence of a counter-sniper. The plates also incorporate electronic paint to allow them to be configured with a variety of camouflage patterns. These plates however are not used very often due to their bulk and weight interfering with most long-term assignments.

The Vindicare Spy Mask is also a sophisticated piece of equipment that contains a huge variety of tools from wide spectrum photo-visors, auspexes, magnoculars, and pict-recorders for finding their target at vast distances. It has a multi-channel comm sensor for monitoring enemy communications, as well as a rebreather and cartridges of concentrated food and water capsules for extended operations in unfriendly environments. The systems in the mask are [[Derp|barely understood by the Tech-Priests who manufacture it]] and each one is gene-coded to the specific assassin to ensure that it cannot be used by the enemy if it somehow gets lost.

== Vindicare Fashions ==
Vindicare Assassins are some of the most sexiest beasts out there, with a tight latex suit, glorifying their abdominal power. They also are known to wear LOVELY masks, which are way smexy-er than the other assassins'. Reports of [[LIIVI|them]] being partial to [[An_Eldar%27s_Ears|pointy ears]] are unconfirmed.

==On the Tabletop==
[[File:Handle with vindiCARE.jpg|thumb|right|Metal Grim Solid]]

{| class=wikitable
! || Pts/PL || M || WS || BS || S || T || W || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Vindicare Assassin:''' || 100/5 || 7" || 2+ || 2+ || 4 || 4 || 5 || 5 || 9 || 6+/4++
|}

He still keeps his ''Lightning Reflexes'' rule above, but now he's a {{W40kKeyword|CHARACTER}}, which means he can only be targeted if he is the closest unit, or by a weapon/unit with a special ability. I don't need to tell you how awesome this is. Speaking of characters, thanks to his ''Deadshot'' he can shoot {{W40kKeyword|CHARACTERS}} even if they aren't the closest models, and if you roll a 6 to-wound it [[Awesome|does D6 damage instead of D3 damage]]. In addition, thanks to ''his Spy Mask'', any unit he shoots does not receive any benefits from being in cover. Likewise, his ''Spy suit'' ability forces a -1 to-hit modifier which becomes -2 if he's in cover (which he should be). Suffice to say, don't ever think about supercharging Plasma against him.

His Exitus Rifle has taken a bit of a retooling. It's now a S5 AP-3 D D3 72" Heavy 1 weapon, that only forces a -1 to-hit modifier if the Vindicare moves. Not too bad compared to 7th, but as I said, it was retooled. It now wounds all {{W40kKeyword|INFANTRY}} on a 2+, and Invulnerable saves cannot be taken against wounds caused by it, but he forgot his Turbo-penetrator rounds and is stuck with his shitty base strength of 5 against vehicles. With the March 2019 mini-index for the Assassins, the Vindicare finally manages to recover his anti-vehicle utility with the Turbo-Penetrator Round Stratagem. For 1CP it lets him deal D3 mortal wounds if he hits instead of rolling to wound, letting him ignore the high toughness of vehicles and monsters. He can't use Head Shot if he uses this stratagem though.

His Exitus pistol is the same as above, but with S4 instead of 5, and is a 12" ranged Pistol (duh). The good news is, Pistols can now be fired into close combat. However, if your Vindicare is in close combat shit has hit the fucking fan.

Did I mention he's now much, much cheaper than he used to be? Yes.

The downside? 2+ to hit, with very few ways of getting him rerolls. Between 1/6 missing and 1/6 failing to wound, he'll fail to force an armor save a bit too often for some people's liking. Also, his 6+ to wound rolls don't cause mortal wounds, which means opponents with a 3+ or better will always get a saving throw.
He's great against anyone reliant on cover/saving throws (assuming you don't roll any ones), but against good old fashioned tanky infantry, he's going to have a tough time. Consider hiding him in cover with a squad of your favorite snipers, so that both units can focus fire and give you a little more consistency while keeping enemies from targeting the assassin directly.

==See Also==
*[[The Samos Sanction]]
*[[Celestial Lions]]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lxbdBQV11E&feature=gp-n-y&google_comment_id=z12hxvvqrpvsytpt222pcj3p1uiwdbxw204 Vindicare doing some precise shots]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NZDwZbyDus Vindicare recruitment video]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:LCB RipperHunting.jpg
Image:Am extus2.jpg| Holy shit... someone made one...
Image:Am extus1.jpg| Needs more skulls.
Image:Vind.JPG
Image:Vindicareassasin.jpg
Image:Vindicare's weapons.jpg
File:The Black.jpg
File:VindicareTf2.png|A Vindicare Assassin. Not a crazed gunman.
File:Zer0Zero.png|Another Vindicare Assassin. He's a number.
File:Zerostab.PNG|A Vindicare assassin demonstrating what can happen to entire squads that forget that 6 attacks on the charge is not to be trifled with.
File:Vindicare7th.jpg| The 7th Edition update. Awesome as hell.
File:Precision_Shots.png| This is gonna require some precision shots...
</gallery>
{{Inquisition}}
{{Template:Imperium}}

Inquisition

2026-03-25T06:11:41Z

Archange1: Undo revision 1008384 by 192.42.116.179 (talk)

[[File:Inquisitorial_Symbol.png|100px|center]]
{{topquote|Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst. Of all created beings the wickedest is one who originally stood in the immediate presence of God.|C.S. Lewis}}
{{Topquote|Innocentiae Nihil Probat: Innocence proves nothing.|Inquisitorial motto}}
{{Topquote|It does not follow that because the devil has been given power over someone on account of his sins, that power must come to an end on the cessation of the sin.|Malleus Maleficarum}}
''[https://youtube/zOERyX3xnHQ?t=29s "My chief weapons are surprise and fear!"]''<br>
:<small>- [[Inquisitor Adrastia]]. She did it boys, she said it! *AIRHORNS*</small>

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKQ_sQKBASM&ab_channel=SpanishInquisition '''NOBODY EXPECTS THE IMPERIAL INQUISITION!''']

Also known as the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor]]'s pet psychopaths - at least according to [[Commissar]] [[Ciaphas Cain|Cain]]{{BLAM}}{{BLAM|NOW THAT’S SOME SERIOUS HERESY!}}

MP jokes aside, the Holy Orders of the Officio Inquisitorus, or just Inquisition, are the <i>"secret"</i> police, spies, and internal Intelligence Agency of the [[Imperium of Man]]; hunters of the alien, the mutant and the heretic. The inquisition is a semi-omnipotent organization that has authority over every other organization and watch every single life in the Imperium for the slightest signs of heresy 1984-Big Brother style. Guilty <s>until</s> even if proven innocent. Think of an insane combination of the CIA/FBI, the MI5, the Men in Black, the Soviet KGB, the Nazi Gestapo, SCP Foundation, Jedi Order(how are they like the Jedi you say ? Snazzy robes and psykers that's how !) and of course its namesake, the [[Spanish Inquisition]].

The Emperor and [[Adeptus Custodes|his guards]] are the only people in the Imperium beyond their jurisdiction, although it's not clear if the inquisition realise this as an Inquisitor tried to use his rosette to get a Custodian to disclose information to him only for the Custodian to simply laugh pointing out he only answered to the throne. Even the High Lords can be (and were) subject to Inquisitorial investigation. Plus they're FUCKING ASSHOL-{{BLAM}} They have an unfortunate but justified tendency to be the secret plot-twist antagonist/instigators in a lot of Black Library works, mainly because simple fights between two diametrically opposed foes tends to be rather boring. Their ≡][≡ symbol seems to have originated from Malcador's Sigillites, a secret order of chroniclers and history-keepers that guided humanity from the very beginning through their knowledge of the past.

==History==
[[Image:Inquisitors.jpg|thumb|300px|right|[[Monty Python|Bet you weren't expecting]] [[Spanish Inquisition|that!]] (They're not wielding the Soft Cushions and the dreaded Comfy Chair.)]]
So when it became obvious that the Emperor's plan to starve the [[Chaos Gods]] with [[Imperial Truth|atheism]] was a failure due to the [[Horus Heresy]], the Big E tasked [[Malcador the Sigillite]] with the formation of the Inquisition. Charged with finding "men of character" to seek out the [[heresy|traitor]], the [[xenos|xeno]], the [[daemon]], and the unexpecting, the Inquisition serves as the secret protectors (or murderers) of the [[Imperium of Man]], guarding it from those who would destroy it from within, from without, and from [[Warp|beyond]]. The known founders are: Kyril Sindermann, once the [[Iterator]] of [[Horus]]'s fleet and one of the first believers in the Emperor's divinity, Lemuel Gaumon AKA Promeus, a former Remembrancer of the Thousand Sons and the first person to successfully be exorcised and Moriana the Seer, a handmaiden of the Emperor that later became a Chaos worshipper (No surprise that Inquisitors like Quixos defect to Chaos when ONE OF THE FOUNDERS ended up turning traitor!).

The Inquisition began with the [[Knights-Errant]], a group of proto-Grey Knights drafted from Loyalist Space Marines (including those formerly from Legions that had turned traitor) that were active during the Heresy and would include the first Grand Masters of the Grey Knights, forming the beginnings of the Ordo Malleus (the Ordo Malleus wouldn't form proper until the Inquisition also made the Ordo Xenos). Over time, the other ordos were added; the Ordo Xenos after the [[War of The Beast]] (partly to manage the brand new [[Deathwatch]]), the Ordo Sicarius after the Wars of Vindication, and the Ordo Hereticus after the [[Age of Apostasy]], and so on. Over time, the Inquistion's overall mission became less about fighting the machinations of Chaos so much as preserving the Imperium's integrity as much as possible; as deviance was to be interpreted as disloyalty and therefore Heresy, this also meant they took a more active approach in Imperial affairs.

As part of their duties, [[Inquisitor]]s theoretically have damn near unlimited power, up to and including [[Exterminatus|the destruction of worlds]]. If they have good cause, they can demand service from anyone, from lowly citizens to the [[High Lords of Terra]]. The only people officially exempt from this are the [[Adeptus Custodes]], who can legitimately say they have a more important job in guarding the Emperor on the Golden Throne, not that this has stopped a couple of irredeemably stupid Inquisitors from trying to throw their weight around with them. Messy deaths resulted. The Inquisitorial Representative in person has a tiny bit more leeway with them but this is more of a courtesy and not a subordinate relationship.

In practice, though, it's much more complex. Inquisitors' influence depends on their reputation and "good name". An Inquisitor who has a good record of [[/tg/ gets shit done| getting shit done]], capturing verified and well-known heretics, is not trigger-happy with the pyres and tend to at least say "please" and "thank you" when they require service from other people generally finds them more willing to work with the Inquisitor than [[Fyodor_Karamazov|nutters who will burn innocents just because]], or a greenhorn who just got their rosette. Many Imperial organizations, especially [[Space Marines]], tend to get short about taking orders from anyone save the High Lords or the Emperor. Those who don't tread lightly can find their careers cut short by [[chainsword]] or [[Ork_Kommando#Snipa_Boy|an ork sniper]]. [[Heresy]]? It's only heresy if you're found, and if the guy who can "accidentally" bites it - well, that's hardly your fault, now is it?

Inquisitors can also be attached to large campaigns like crusades as ancillary advisors, in which case they work nominally within the command structure of the Guard and even take orders from senior figures (so long as they feel like it anyway). So whilst they do have practically unlimited temporal power, an Inquisitor using it for frivolous or petty reasons would swiftly get called up for abusing their authority, and an entire Ordo exists for providing oversight on Inquisitors who call an Exterminatus. So an Inquisitors can't just flash their rosette to skip the bar queue or exterminatus the planet because their grox burger didn't have pickles.

With the resurrection of [[Roboute Guilliman]], they are having to tread very carefully around him due to him being the son of the Emperor and being appointed Imperial Regent by His authority, therefore holding many of their same powers and utterly above their jurisdiction, and generally not being happy with their standard operating procedure, or the fact that he introduced several new organisations whose goals fly in the face of much of the Inquisition's previous work at censoring and blacklisting history and records. As of the most recent fluff, they've already started a secret war with Guilliman's new organisations, namely trying (and [[FAIL|failing]]) to stop the Imperial Regent from acquiring a copy of the Lectitio Divinatus dating from the days of LOYAL Word Bearers. The delicious irony that the Inquisition's greatest weapon had been turned against them: the sheer weight and scope of the Imperium.

==On the Tabletop==
In the past, the Inquisition was represented by three different armies, that being the [[Daemonhunters]], [[Witchhunters]], and <s>[[Alienhunters]]</s> Okay that last one didn't have any genuine tabletop representation back then. However, these armies ended up being split apart, with their chambers militant effectively becoming independent armies with their own codices as the [[Grey Knights]], [[Sisters of Battle]], and [[Deathwatch]] respectively. The disadvantage to this move was that these new armies suffered from a lack of unit choices, especially the Sisters of Battle, who lack the variety in vehicle and infantry support normally enjoyed by other factions such as the Space Marines. Realistically, unless you're up against an equally under-equipped enemy, allying up with another force is practically a necessity.

As for the Inquisitors themselves, you could still field them, but only as an allied detachment to a mainline army, such as the Imperial Guard. And like the factions mentioned above, they lost not just their chamber militants, but also their basic troops in the form of Inquisitorial [[Stormtrooper]]s (in fact the Inquisition can't field troops at all, only elites in the form of henchmen). They do have a few unique units like [[Jokaero]] and [[Crusaders]], but without some cheap units to help screen the enemy you'll end up with an expensive and easily outnumbered army, as you can only take 36 henchmen at most per inquisitor. However, they do come with a number of transports (including the nominally [[Space Marine]]-only [[Land Raider]]), which can be a boon to armies lacking in vehicle options. And if you want to bring [[Officio Assassinorum|assassins]] with you, you'll get them through the inquisitor. Besides, fluff-wise an Inquisitor would normally want plenty of meat-shields to do the shooting for them anyways.

After getting reorganized into Codex: Imperial Agents, Inquisitors can now play closer to their original incarnation if you so choose. Inquisitors can now easily call upon detachments from other organizations, including Grey Knight Terminators, Sisters of Battle, or Deathwatch, depending on the Inquisitor's Ordo. They can also utilize astropaths, enginseers, assassins, etc.

With the recent release of 8th edition, the big ≡][≡ has taken quite the hit. You no longer have access to those astropaths, enginseers, assassins, AND the crusaders, ministorum priests, arco flagellants, and death cult assassins. But possibly the biggest blow to both casual inquisition players and neckbeards longing for the old witchhunters and daemonhunters days, the chambers militant special rule is gone. You can also no longer mix what you have into henchy squads, or upgrade the armor on any of your units. Despite this the inquisition is still useful, but VERY situational. Probably the best use for Inquisitors these days is relatively cheap Psykers and buffing the Leadership of your other units.

===Kill Team return!===
During the 2023 Warhammer Fest, GW finally chose to answer our cries! [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2023/05/01/join-the-inquisition-to-hunt-a-mutating-chaos-cult-in-a-new-kill-team-campaign-expansion/ Inquisition is getting a Kill Team], released alongside a Chaos Cultist team in the Ashes of Faith box.

== Organization ==
[[File:PPI.jpg|thumb|right|300px|[[Heresy]], [[chaos]], and [[xenos]]. These were the most dangerous threats to the [[Imperium]] that were foreseen, but the [[Emprah]] of Mankind suddenly foresaw something more threatening than the three: EXTRA HERESY. Thus, the Inquisition was born! Using their ultra abusive authority, the [[Ordo Malleus]], [[Ordo Hereticus|Hereticus]], and [[Ordo Xenos|Xenos]] have dedicated their lives to defending the Imperium, and killing the enemies of the Emprah!]]

The Inquisition is unique among Imperial departments in that it has no formal definition of a hierarchy or structure. However, [[Inquisitor]]s with common interests tend to band together to tackle issues too large for a single Inquisitor, and over time, these coalitions have coalesced into bodies called ''Ordos'' which specialize in handling a particular class of threat to the Imperium. Joining an Ordo isn't mandatory, but most Inquisitors are "raised" in an Ordo as an interrogator, or gravitate towards one over time.

Inquisitors will also form looser, smaller groups called ''conclaves'' to handle specific threats -- for example, a single [[Tyranid]] invasion, or threats pertaining to a particular planet. Conclaves usually include members of a single Ordo, but there's no rule against having multiple Ordos represented, and some Inquisitors actively form conclaves with experts in diverse fields. Similarly, individual Inquisitors of a different Ordo are hardly likely to turn a blind eye to gribbly things happening just because it doesn't fall into their particular box.

There are three ''Ordos Majoris'' in the Inquisition:

*'''[[Daemonhunters|Ordo Malleus]]''' - The guys who (secretly hunt [[daemon|daemons]]) monitor the other Inquisition Ordos. The [[Grey Knights]] are the Ordo's Chamber Militant.
*'''[[Witch Hunters|Ordo Hereticus]]''' - The guys who hunt [[wizard|witches]], [[heresy|heretics]], and [[furry|mutants]]. While lacking a Chamber Militant of their own, the Hereticus frequently rely on the [[Sisters of Battle]].
*And the '''[[Alienhunters|Ordo Xenos]]''' - The guys who hunt aliens. All the time. The [[Deathwatch]] are the Ordo's Chamber Militant.

Barring those Chamber Militants they could also call upon the [[Red Hunters]] Chapter and their very own [[Stormtrooper]]s to help out, of note Caligari Conclave Inquisitors are served by the [[Stormwatchers]] and Ordo Malleus Plutonian faction are served by the [[Exorcists]]. Several ''Ordos Minoris'' exist as well, although their exact number is uncertain (especially because an Ordo is only as big as the number of Inquisitors who care about its particular issue - the factor that separates the major Ordos from the minor ones is that there are always plenty of daemons, heretics, and xenos to go around, while other threats rise and fall in prominence). The best-known (relatively speaking) are as follows:

*Documents: there are numerous Ordos concerned with keeping official documents in the state that they ought to be in, whether that means up to date, incinerated, or something else.
**'''Ordo Astra''' - They keep stellar maps up to date. Given that there are about 50 of them and [[Great Rift|shit's fucked]], they have a lot of work to do. There is fan-speculation that they also deal with things like [[Komus|the Tyrant Star]] and other Warp or Xeno-caused stellar anomalies.
**'''Ordo Originatus''' - They act as the Inquisition's historians, attempting to sift through ten thousand years' worth of myths and legends for the few grains of truth that remain. Polar opposite of the Ordo Redactus.
**'''Ordo Redactus''' - The Inquisition's equivalent of the Ministry of Truth, which makes sure that the secrets of the Inquisition's past stay secret, and that history books say what they ought to say. Naturally, this can be quite a problem for the Ordo Originatus if the two don't work together. They probably do work together, though, as the Inquisition of all groups would definitely want accurate records and the High Lords at the very least would need such a thing.
**'''Ordo Scriptorum''' - Like a grimdark version of the NSA, they examine and investigate written records and communications and try to cut through the Administratum's red tape when doing so would keep the Imperium safe and secure. Occasionally referred to as the Ordo ISO 9000.
**'''Ordo Scriptus''' - Oversees official historical records on Terra. Since they only have 6 (Inquisitorial) members, they most likely make use of great amounts of administratum resources, and even then they are constantly and horribly out of date.
*Ordo Hereticus branches: for some reason, duties that clearly fall under the Ordo Hereticus sometimes result in a distinct Ordo.
**'''Ordo Barbarus''' - They watch over pre-industrial worlds to make sure Chaos cults can't spring up on them. Essentially, a specialist branch of the Ordo Hereticus.
**'''[[Zombiehunters|Ordo Sepulturum]]''' - They're dedicated to fighting plagues and diseases, but mainly the Zombie Plague and the zombies that result.
*Organizational Oversight: Sometimes an Ordo is founded to provide oversight for some other branch of the Imperial government; typically this means they work like the Ordos Hereticus and Xenos simultaneously, ensuring that other branch does not engage in any sort of heresy.
**'''Ordo Astartes''' - They try to keep some degree of control over the [[Space Marines]], with "try" being the operative word. Some recent breakthroughs have been made with the introduction of [[Vindicare|Ork Sharpshooters]] and [[Minotaurs|angry cows]].
**'''Ordo Excorium''' - They make sure nobody tries to call in an [[Exterminatus]] without having a good reason for it first. The Imperium could probably use more of them, seeing as Exterminatus seem to happen all the time for things that could probably have been resolved in other ways. They are doing their job since by official statistics (6th/7th Inquisition Codex), over 90% of Inquisitors who declared a single Exterminatus were stripped of their rank and declared heretics for this exact reason. But they really need to put some effort to prevent such kind of behaviour. Print some guidelines or something. Because the list of people who can declare Exterminatus is so short and a fair chunk of them are covered by the Ordo Astartes (and ''probably'' the Ordo Senatorum covers the remainder), this is primarily about internal oversight of all the other Ordos, including the major ones.
**'''Ordo Machinum''' - They ensure that the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] properly integrate STC variants (and the occasional piece of xenos tech) into Imperial technology, while also trying to keep their hoarding tendencies to an acceptable level. Whilst incredibly rare, there are occasionally Inquisitors who were either formerly or still part of the Mechanicus.
**'''Ordo Militarum''' - Their role is to ensure that the Imperial armed forces remain loyal. The [[Commissar|Commissariat]] is presumably their child organization.
**'''Ordo Sanctorum''' - This branch keeps a close eye on the [[Ecclesiarchy]] so a second Reign of Blood doesn't occur.
**'''[[Ordo Sicarius]]''' - They watch over the [[Officio Assassinorum]] to make sure that they don't try to repeat [[The Beheading]].
**'''Ordo Vigilus''' - Their purpose is to keep an eye on the Ordo Necros. Someone must have been really concerned by Necros to make an Ordo for the sole sake of keeping an eye on an Ordo.
*Spatial Oversight: Sometimes an Ordo is simply about safeguarding an entire location, regardless of what might threaten it.
**'''Ordo Aegis''' - They help with keeping the [[Cadian Gate]] secure. Given the fall of [[Cadia]], their jobs just got exponentially harder.
**'''Ordo Calixis:''' The [[Calixis Sector]].
**'''Ordo Custodum''' - They make sure Holy Terra stays secure and devoid of heretics, xenos, daemons, and heretical xeno daemons; another (mostly) Ordo Hereticus sub-Ordo. Given how overpopulated Terra is, they have their work completely cut out for them.
*Warp Fuckery: Not every threat from the Warp is a daemon ''per se'', so some Ordos are about dealing with other ways the Warp ruins life for everyone.
**'''[[Ordo Chronos]]''' - They specialized in the possibility of time travel (particularly because time in the Warp doesn't flow normally), and they sought to deal with temporal anomalies, such as a ship reaching its destination before it actually left its starting point. Unfortunately for them, they just up and vanished without a trace. Nobody knows where they went, and as a result, this Ordo has been essentially forgotten by the rest of the Inquisition. They may or may not have recently come back, and at least one of them was very interested in interrogating the [[Legion of the Damned]]. They also have a more mundane division that deals with the various heresies, inconsistencies, and general galactic level idiocy surrounding the dating system - to the point where the current year could be inaccurate by a margin of 200 to 1000 years. Recent fluff has also hinted that they also study the time shifting effects of warp travel, along with various means of stabilising. Several members of the Ordo were part of the opening movements of the [[Indomitus Crusade]] to ensure that all elements arrived at approximately the same time.
**'''Ordo Maledictum''' - Seek any means to drive back or close the [[Cicatrix Maledictum|Great Rift]].
*Unknown: Not every Ordo comes with an explanation of what they do, so we have to guess.
**'''Ordo Desolatus''' - Purpose unknown. For some odd reason it only has one member.
**'''[[Ordo Necros]]''' - Nobody's entirely sure what they do, but since they apparently needed an entire Ordo to supervise them (The Ordo Vigilus), it must be really important. Something to do with the [[Necron]]s, maybe? Looking after the [[C'tan|Void Dragon]]? Something to do with a nature of death and the afterlife? In any case, someone was and is really fucking worried about them and whatever the hell they're doing, since the Ordo Vigilus' only job is looking into this Ordo's business.
**'''Ordo Senatorum''' - Unknown purpose, but the name implies they have something to do with the [[High Lords of Terra|Senatorum Imperialis]] and their staff. Possibly some kind of "Who watches the watchmen?" bunch, except for the Senatorium?
**'''Ordo Thanatos''' - Unknown purpose. Considering though they are named after the Greek God of death, it points to their purpose having some relation to death, perhaps investigating means of immortality? Or, may watch over funerary practices and handling of the dead, settling any related conflicts. Given the incalculable number of Imperial sub-cultures, one planet's dead might be another planet's corpse starch ration or another planet's servitor parts, so conflict over these "resources" is inevitable. In this sense, they probably work closely with the Ordo Hereticus, handing anything truly heretical off to them while handling the more mundane issues themselves.
*Miscellaneous
**'''Ordo Obsoletus''' - Only mentioned in the fluff a few times, the Inquisition's official department of "What The Fuck just happened here?" Tends to chase up inexplicable events like the [[Legion of the Damned]] turning up, and are usually very suspicious of "miracles". Basically the 41st millennium's X-Files.

And nice red uniforms OH DAMN.

Most of the Ordos are very straightforward, doing jobs necessary to keep the Imperium running and acting as checks and balances to other powerful organizations in the Imperium, making sure most of the various factions play nice while they're around to do important things. (Rather strange there's no Ordo for [[Navigator]]s given how keen the Inquisition are on them, though it's likely that the Ordo Hereticus handles them due to the whole 'being mutants' biz.)

==Hierarchy==
[[File:I.png|thumb|right|30em|More or less how they act on /tg/]]
[[Dark Heresy]] gives us a look at the inner workings of the Inquisition in how they operate and recruit people. Many of them come from nearly every other organization of the Imperium, with a few criminals and death cultists thrown in.

*Acolyte - these are the guys who get recruited (or press-ganged) into the Inquisition's service, for the long term that is. While an Inquisitor can commandeer anyone they need for a particular mission, these agents officially belong to the Inquisition and have received training for their part in the organization. Reasons for recruitment can vary between a person's skills being seen as valuable, to the person in question has seen too much but can be put to use instead of purged, or if the person in question is simply expendable. Acolytes are often servants or meatshields for inquisitors, but if a particular agent shows a high degree of resourcefulness, they may be selected for becoming an inquisitor's personal retinue.
*Throne Agent - As Inquisitor's trusted aides, they tend to be more experienced than acolytes and aid in investigations. Throne Agents who are especially talented with a history of success may be recommended to become Inquisitors themselves.
*Explicator - Apprentice Inquisitors, they train directly under an Inquisitor on how to investigate.
*Interrogator - Inquisitors in training sent out into the field. They have their own rosettes and can order people around, but still lack the authority to perform independently. Once they have enough field and leadership experience they get promoted by the approval of three Inquisitors or one Inquisitor Lord.
*Inquisitor - The full monty. These are the guys who get to root out Heresy, order Exterminatus, rope entire armies into service, and so forth.
*Inquisitor Lord - Not a rank per se, rather a title that recognizes the power and influence of an individual inquisitor. Invitation-only and requires the agreement of three existing Inquisitor Lords. They tend to be the overseers of a particular conclave.
*Master - The Head Honcho for a sub-sector. They're usually found in very important sub-sectors, and their job mostly amounts to overseeing Ordo policy in the area, telling lesser Inquisitors how to inquisit, and advising the guy below.
*Grandmaster - Like the master, but for an entire sector. They head up conclaves and are elected by secret ballot among the Master Inquisitors of their sector.
*Inquisitorial Representative - The elected representative to the [[High Lords]]. Oddly, it's not considered a desirable final career stage for an Inquisitor, and tends to be a figurehead for whatever shadowy conclave is on Terra at the time. Serve 5 year terms to prevent a single faction from gaining too much power. Elder veterans tend to use the post as a sabbatical, which really says something about Inquisitorial work because being a High Lord who is not incompetent/a prick is quite possibly one of the most stressful jobs in the galaxy. The current representative is Kleopatra Arx.

==Philosophies==
The Inquisition is a big and complicated place, and many have different philosophies on how to protect the Imperium and stop [[Chaos]]. While there are dozens of doctrinal and philosophical disputes, the two important branches are either Puritans or Radicals. Both are fucked up assholes.

===Puritans===
Puritans, simply put, are those who refuse to employ the measures of the enemy, such as xenotech or the Warp. They believe that associating anything with the enemy will inevitably bring corruptible influences that will only lead to damnation for all of humanity in the end, which isn't so far-fetched given the circumstances humanity faced throughout the millennia, although it has the inevitable drawback that the more zealous Puritans will eventually start to see ''everything'' as alien and Chaotic influences, which only leads to even more problems down the line. Hardcore puritans even consider Inquisitors who act covertly or with any degree of subtlety as being radicals, preferring to solve their problems as brazenly and fear-inducingly as possible. Most Inquisitors start out as Puritans or on the spectrum of Puritanism, but it's fairly common for some to fall into Radicalism eventually (which can be classed as lesser heresy in some forms and EXTRA HERESY in its most extreme aspects). Puritanism can fall among three major philosophies:

*{{anchor|Amalathianism}}'''Amalathianism''': The most conservative form of Puritanism in the Inquisition and the most common of the Inquisition's factions in general, Amalathians (named after Mount Amalath, where its tenets were first set down at an Inquisitorial conclave) believe that the Emperor has some sort of divine plan for the Imperium, and the Inquisition's purpose is to protect the Imperium as that plan becomes visible. Change is considered the greatest enemy (which may have [[Tzeentch|some sense to it]]…yet also [[Nurgle|be counter-productive]]), with the exception that they seek to overcome the factionalism so common within the [[Adeptus Terra]]. The irony that the Amalathians are themselves technically a faction is not lost on them. You'd think that a group which holds the Imperium at present is perfect would be off its rocker, but they're actually a fairly reasonable group who prefer to [[/tg/ gets shit done|get shit done]] rather than bicker and bitch over territorial disputes. [[Gregor Eisenhorn]] was once a staunch Amalathian, but he eventually fell into Radicalism in his later years.
*{{anchor|Monodominant}}'''Monodominant''': The most extreme form of Puritianism in the Inquisition, Monodominants are basically [[Humanity Fuck Yeah]] taken to its illogical extreme. They believe that humanity, and ''only'' humanity, should be allowed to continue to exist. Given that the average inhabitants of the galaxy are [[Eldar|space pansies who would abandon you in a heartbeat]], [[Dark Eldar|space pansies who would torture and rape you in a heartbeat]], [[Ork|green hooligans who would fight and kill you in a heartbeat]], [[Tyranid|giant spacebugs who would eat you in a heartbeat]], [[Necron|undead robots who would atomize you in a clock tick]] and [[Chaos|things much worse]], this is [[Grimdark|an understandable worldview]]. Unfortunately, the Monodominants take things a few steps further, wanting to eliminate all [[mutant]]s, including the [[Psyker]]s, [[Astropath]]s, [[Navigator]]s, and occasionally the Astartes; this is usually the point where they anger someone powerful enough to bring their career to a conclusion. But a rare few Monodominants manage to climb even higher, closing the circle between Puritanism and Radicalism and truly earning the heretic and traitor label... and it usually involves exterminatus weaponry. Because it's all fun and games until the High Lords [https://1d4chan.org/images/1/13/Briefing.jpg don't get their cheese tithe] for afternoon tea.
*{{anchor|Thorianism}}'''Thorianism''': The most radical form of Puritanism. While the resurrectionist concepts that make up the philosophy had their beginnings with Promeus (one of the founders of the Inquisition), it remained rather obscure as a faction until after the rise of [[Sebastian Thor]], the hero of the [[Age of Apostasy]]. They believe that Thor held part of the power of the Emperor within him, and thus believe that it is possible to reincarnate the Emperor of Mankind into a new body, allowing him to rebuild the Imperium and launch a new [[Great Crusade]]. As a result, Thorians closely study the nature of the human consciousness and the Warp, while also keeping a close eye on individuals that show enough power to be potential hosts for the Emperor's soul (such as Living Saints). They are extremely close to the [[Ecclesiarchy]].
**{{anchor|Anomolian Beholders}}'''Anomolian Beholders''': A conservative branch of Thorianism which takes a more passive approach to the resurrectionist ideology; they are more content with observing humanity for signs of the God-Emperor's return than actively trying to bring him back.
**{{anchor|Ardentites}}'''Ardentites''': A variation of Thorian belief that claims the power of the Emperor was dispersed throughout humanity as a whole rather than being concentrated in any one individual. Derisively referred to as "miracle chasers" by the rest of the Inquisition for their many failed attempts at proving their beliefs, but they tend to be good investigators precisely because of this.

===Radicals===
Radicals are those Inquisitors who believe in fighting fire with fire--specifically, using the weapons of the enemy against the enemy. According to [[Gideon Ravenor]], Radicalism is an inevitable product of an Inquisitor's ideology being tested, as the more one learns about the nature of the enemy, the more they realize that the enemy has a lot better toys than the Imperium. However, given that most Inquisitors will face Chaos at some point, and given the inherently corrupting nature of the Warp, Radicalism may lead to one hoping to fight the Archenemy with its own tools before being brought into the service of the Chaos Gods instead; consequently, an accusation of Radicalism is only slightly less serious than an accusation of outright heresy. Radicalism can fall into a lot more branches than Puritanism, and the following is merely a list of the most common forms it can take:

*'''Radical Thorians''':
**{{anchor|Casophilians}}'''Casophilians''': Another branch of Thorianism interested in learning how to summon a deceased soul back to the Materium in the hope that doing so could be the first step to resurrecting the Emperor. (In practice, this would probably resemble a form of "reverse daemon summoning".) Relatively conservative by Radical standards, they are one of the few factions that can be considered open to new ideas and are known to work especially well with the Anomolian Beholders. The Heresy novels reveal that summoning deceased souls back from the warp is possible but is seriously bad Chaos juju and risks creating fate warping immortals who REALLY don't want to be alive again after what they've been through.
**{{anchor|Horusians}}'''Horusians''': One of the most dangerous forms of radicalism and a splinter of the Thorian philosophy, Horusians (named after [[Horus|Horus Lupercal]] and founded by Moriana, once one of the first Inquisitors and now an infamous Chaos witch, as in "personal diviner of the Despoiler and only non Astartes or Cyborg in the Black Legion Command") believe that the power the Chaos Gods imbued Horus with to fight the Emperor can be used to create a new body for the Emperor. Mostly consists of older Inquisitors who have become angry with the other resurrection theories failing to get shit done. Notably gave their name to a factional struggle within the Inquisition itself, almost back from it's founding days. Inquisitorial archivists note that the goals and methods of each Horusian group seems to differ, suggesting that it's a loose set of ideas with similar aims, rather than a formalised faction.
**{{anchor|Revivificationism}}'''Revivificationism''': Another radical form of Thorianism, Revivificators believe in studying the effects of death and dying so that they can reverse the process and revive the Emperor of Mankind. Revivificators have a deep interest in studying the Eldar as a result, and have less ties to the Ecclesiarchy. Also occasionally try to summon angels (daemons) of the Emperor, with predictable results.
***There are a number of strange phenomenon occurring among the faithful in the Psychic Awakening. While it's a bit early to say for certain that these fellows were right the entire time, it is a good time to be a Revivicationist.
*{{anchor|Istvaanism}}'''Istvaanism''': One of the most violent forms of Radicalism, Istvaanians (named for the virus-bombing of Istvaan III, which began the Horus Heresy) believe that conflict is desirable, and mankind only [[Ork|grows in a state of violence]] (while it is said that "necessity is the mother of invention", the culture in 40k minimizes advancements of any kind, and the Imperium's [[Great Rift|struggling to hold on as-is]]). In practice, this leads to various conflicts that would otherwise remain minor suddenly becoming unmanageable because an Istvaanite was covertly funnelling resources to one or both sides, setting people up or committing false flag attacks to escalate tensions. Possibly the only group in the galaxy who views the Imperium's biggest problem as too ''few'' wars. Still manage to be less hated than the Xanthians.
** TL;DR: They think that constantly punching yourself in the face and testicles is a good way to become stronger. Like many things in 40k, this is [[Skub|debatable]] and depends heavily on the context.
*{{anchor|Libricars}}'''Libricars''': An extreme version of Amalthianism that insists that even the smallest deviations from the status quo warrants purging. Unlike the Amalthians, they will do absolutely ''anything'' to ensure the status quo. Needless to say, the Recongregators hate them, and the Amalthians consider them to be a perversion of everything they stand for. They may actually be the second most dangerous radical faction of the Inquisition, due to the fact that they indirectly show their support to [[Nurgle]] through their actions causing stagnation. Not only that, but if the Emperor wanted the status quo to remain, then the very change they fight against wouldn't be happening, right? So they may be a bunch of [[Heresy|heretics]] too far up their own asses to realise it.
*{{anchor|Oblationists}}'''Oblationists''': Bizarro Monodominants that insist that the truly righteous (i.e. themselves) must allow themselves to be damned through the use of the Warp, the xenos, and the unclean to keep humanity safe, like the Xanthites below. At the same time they believe that anyone else using these things will be hopelessly damned and ought to be purged. The sheer hypocrisy of this is lost on them and their extreme intolerance of other Radicals makes them easily the nuttiest bunch that aren't out and out traitors, only beaten out in evil by one other group.
**Not necessarily as stupid as they first sound. The philosophy is similar to the odd sect of Christians that Rasputin belonged to. The idea is that you need to sin and be forgiven to truly understand faith. Human nature is inherently corrupt (and intended by the Emprah) so the only question is what you do as a corrupt being. "Oblation" means "sacrifice" by the way, so this seems to fit. They'd be people who believe that all that cool loot is a necessary burden, not sweet toys. They think only they can be trusted with it because they are the only ones who understand it's both utterly necessary and utterly evil without lying to themselves (or at least so they'd claim).
*{{anchor|Ocularians}}'''Ocularians''': A minor faction obsessed with learning how to predict and divine the future, no matter the cost of doing so. Paranoid even by Inquisition standards, partly because they think [[Blood Ravens|knowledge is power and should be guarded well]], partly because hardcore Puritans like putting their Heresy-stomping boots up the Ocularians' rear every time they cough. They make heavy use of Psykers and the Emperor's Tarot along with Adeptus Mechanicus tech, which has resulted in a few members going full Sorcerer and falling to Chaos.
**{{anchor|Antiquarti}}'''Antiquarti''': A subgroup of Ocularians that seek to predict the future by discovering patterns within events in the past. That wouldn't be hard if anyone allowed them to see the few books on the past, since no one teaches history in the grimdark future, or if the Ordo Redactus weren't going full [[1984]] every time someone coughs at them.
*{{anchor|Plutonians}}'''Plutonians''': A faction of the Ordo Malleus that made their debut in White Dwarf 462; the core of their philosophy is that HEALTHY EXORCISM is an Imperial part of a complete soldier's training. After the Chapter Master of the [[Exorcists]] (who were retconned into being just an Imperial Fists successor Chapter at first, not daemonhunters) was possessed by a daemon, they guided him through the exorcism process. After he seemed to be almost as resistant to Chaos as a Grey Knight without massive amounts of psychoindoctirination that makes you into a [[Khornate Knights|serial killer]], the Plutonians transformed the Exorcists into an entire (mostly) [[Codex Astartes|Codex-Compliant Chapter]] of [[Reasonable Marines|Warp-camouflaged]] [[Awesome|daemonhunters]].
** Their ideas seem to have been successful; after all, the Exorcists have managed to be a Chapter of Astartes daemonhunters without [[Grey Knights|going]] [[Khornate Knights|batshit]] [[Kaldor Draigo|insane]]. A logical next-step would likely be to create a rainbow of Successor Chapters like the Exorcists to ward the Great Rift. But then again... when did the Inquisition and logic go together? (It should be noted that this process has a very high attrition rate, though, the Exorcists need to keep three scout companies instead of one, and gene-seed is a very scarce and precious resource.)
*{{anchor|Polypsykana}}'''Polypsykana''': A group that believes humanity is evolving into a fully psychic race (which appears to be true) and that it is a good idea for them to do everything they can to accelerate this process (which is clearly arguable). They do this by trying to protect nascent psykers from their Puritan and radical colleagues alike, though they have also been known to harbour witches and other rogue psykers as well.
** With the Psychic Awakening, it is probably a pretty good time to be a Polypsykana. You can talk down to your fellow Inquisitors about how you were trying to prevent a scenario like this from happening, that the organic transition into a psychic humanity ''that you'' advocated for was clearly better than the scenario which nature eventually threw at the galaxy. Whether or not that gets you a bolt in the face is anyone's guess, since in this hypothetical situation you're an Inquisitor.
*{{anchor|Recongregationism}}'''Recongregationism''': Radicals who believe that the Imperium has become stagnant and corrupt, and needs to be rebuilt lest it collapses further. Unfortunately for them, they aren't entirely sure about how to do this, or how it should be rebuilt after tearing down the old order. Some of the more extreme Recongregators end up like Lilean Chase, an Inquisitor who fell to Chaos and founded the Cognitae (or at least its ''40K'' incarnation). These Inquisitors may be the closest thing to a token heroic faction of the imperium of man next to the [[salamanders]] [[ultramarines]] [[lamenters]] and [[space wolfs]] (to a certain and limited extent of course), considering that they're Inquisitors giving a crap about ordinary people. Some of them apparently have some [[Communism|''interesting'' ideas about the way to fix the Imperium]], as shown in a small story one of them used a cadre of Xenos Hunters composed of Space Marines from chapters that Puritans aren't too fond of ([[Black Dragons]], [[Flame Falcons]], etc) to simultaneously stop a [[Necron]] incursion and topple an oppressive planetary government with the hope something better will go out of the consecutive population uprising.
*{{anchor|Seculos Attendous}}'''Seculos Attendous''': Reddit atheists. A minor faction that views the [[Ecclesiarchy]] as an obstacle to mankind's progress and seeks to weaken it wherever they can. A shame that they can't agree on what to replace it with on the absurdly tiny chance they succeed.
*{{anchor|Xanthism}}'''Xanthism''': The most overt and well-known form of Radicalism, Xanthians (named after Lord Inquisitor Zaranchek Xanthus, executed for heresy in M32) hold that only by controlling the power of Chaos can Chaos be defeated (which is like thinking that the solution to being stabbed in the gut is to push the blade until it comes out through your back). They believe that Chaotic artefacts such as possessed swords and Daemonhosts are viable weapons against the Archenemy which should be used whenever possible. Most of the time, this ends up spectacularly backfiring when their tools rebel at the worst possible time - or worse, corrupt the Xanthite using them into the service of Chaos. The Ruinous Powers hate each other, but they aren't always complete idiots about it, and when you play with fire, you only have to drop it once to set the whole house ablaze. Eisenhorn eventually followed Xanthism after being forced to use Cherubael to save the lives of his retinue.
**{{anchor|Phaenonism}}'''Phaenonism''': The only group worse than the aforementioned Oblationists, in so much that the Oblationists are at least loyal to mankind. To put in perspective just how batshit insane these assholes are, [[Lulz|the Xanthites consider them to be utterly off their rockers]]. They dabbled in tech-heresy along with the usual Xanthite fare, resulting in them openly denying the Emperor was a god and starting to create [[Daemon Engines|Warp-powered machines]] to try and rebuild the Imperium as they felt it should be. Suffice to say, [[Exterminatus|the Inquisition was not amused.]] While they were officially given the boot and are presumed to be wiped out by the rest of the Inquisition, a handful of Phaenonites are still active in their ranks and trying to quietly rebuild their power base.
*{{anchor|Xeno Hybris}}'''Xeno Hybris''': A small group that sees strict anti-alien policies as being counter-productive to the Imperium of Man. They feel that sometimes Xenos can be useful or be learned from, especially when working against chaos. Many Inquisitors of the Ordo Malleus in particular will do this to deal with the forces of Chaos every now and again, but the Xeno Hybris makes seeking said cooperation their hat. At the very least, these guys are not tempting fate to the same extent by as other Radicals since their toys are much less likely to eat their souls. [[Yvraine#A_Desperate_Alliance| Given recent events with the Eldar]], and [[Damocles Crusade|the gentlemen's agreement with the Tau]], this faction is likely gaining power and influence at the moment, in spite of some high profile [[Octarius War|fails]].

==Song==
([http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUMkcBctE7c tune])

:The eye that sleepeth not.
:The Inquisition (Let's begin)
:The Inquisition (Look out, sin)
:We have a mission
:To kill all the Heretiiiiiics~ (Heretics, He-he-he-heretics~)
:We're gonna teach them (Wrong from right)
:We're gonna help them (See the light)
:And make an offer that they can't refuse.
:(That the heretics just can't refuse)
::
:Confess (confess), don't be boring!
:Re-peeeent~ (Repent), don't be dull!
:A fact you're ignoring
:It's better to ditch the skull throne than your skull (Blood for the Blood God)
::
:The Inquisition (What a show)
:The Inquisition (Here we go)
:We know you're wishing that we'd go away
:But the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay!
::
:The Inquisition (Oh boy)
:The Inquisition (What joy)
:The Inquisition (Oi oi)
::
:I was posting down in /tg/, I was minding my own business
:I was about to post some Loli Daemonette.
:Then these Ordos Hereticus plunge in
:And they throw me in a dungeon
:And they shoved a revved up chainsword up my ass.
::
:Is that considerate?
:Is that polite?
:And not a tube of Preparation H in sight.
::
:I'm sittin' flickin' daemons
:And I'm lookin' through the thickens
:When suddenly these guys break down my walls.
:I didn't even know them
:And they grabbed me by the scrotum
:And they started playing Ping Pong with my balls
::
:Oh, the agony!
:Ooh, the shame!
:To make my privates public by a game!
::
:The Inquisition (What a show)
:The Inquisition (Here we go)
:We know you're wishing that we'd go away
:But the Inquisition's here and it's here to-
::
:Hey, Torquemada!
:What do you say?
::
:I just got back from the autos-du-fe,
:Autos-du-fe? What's the autos-du-fe?
:It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway!
::
:Skit scat doodlebac doodle be bay
::
:Will you convert?
:NO NO NO NO!
:Will you confess?
:NO NO NO NO!
:Will you revert?
:NO NO NO NO!
:Will you say YES?
:NO NO NO NO!
::
:Now I asked in a nice way
:I said pretty please
:I bent their ears
:Now I'll work on the knees!
::
:Hey Torquemada
:Walk this way
:We got a new game you might want to play!
:Pull this handle, try your luck
:Who knows, Torq, you might win a buck! (All right)
::
:Put it in the ship.
:(In the ship In the ship!)
::
:How we doing? Any Heretics repent today?
:Not a one! Nay Nay Nay!
:We've flattened their fingers,
:We've branded their buns.
:Nothing is working!
:SEND IN THE NUNS WITH GUNS
::
:The Inquisition (What a show)
:The Inquisition (Here we go)
:We know you're wishing that we'd go away
:So come on all you Heretics and you Xenos
:We got some big news for all of yous
:You'd better change your point of views today
::
:'Cause the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay!

Alternatively, there's [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NfHTzErBiw this]

==Codex?==
A preview for Tenth Edition showed Agents of the Imperium getting their own index of rules and datasheets (while hilariously, [[Fail|Imperial and Chaos Knights were lumped together]]), so a codex might not be that far off.

==See Also==
*[[Daemonhunters]]
*[[Witch Hunters]]
*[[Alienhunters]]
*[[Zombiehunters]]
*[[Ordo Sicarius]]
*[[Ordo Chronos]]
*[[Dark Heresy]]
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Imperium_(9E)#Inquisition|Tactics on how to play their current rules]]
*[[Spanish Inquisition|Their completely serious, (and more Noblebright by comparison) historical inspiration/predecessors]]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isw7nLOdYXM A video showing one of the more feared inquisitors]
*[[Excruciatus Cadre]], who also roots out Heresy.

{{Inquisition}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}
{{Imperium}}

Sisters of Battle

2026-03-24T07:43:19Z

Archange1: Undo revision 1008412 by 192.42.116.179 (talk)

[[File:AdSor 2.jpg|300px|right|thumb|We'd like to [[Flamer|talk]] [[Bolter|to]] [[Meltagun|you]] for a moment about your [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Lord and Savior]]]]
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smqK5cHSxMA '''PLASTIC SISTERS CONFIRMED, FOR REAL THIS TIME''']

{{Topquote|Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity.|H.P. Lovecraft}}

{{Topquote|Thou shalt not refer to the Adepta Sororitas as '[[Bolter]] Bitches,' nor shalt thou go anywhere near our sisters during the time of their 'Red Rage,' lest thou wish to be the first human to enter orbit without the aid of a shuttle.|Space Marine Guideline 1, Page 13, Codex Astartes}}

{{Topquote|Praise be the Emperor and pass the ammunition, for what one doesn't cure the other will|Dark Heresy Inquisitors Handbook}}

'''Sisters of Battle''' are essentially [[Warhammer 40k]]'s closest female equivalent of <s>[[Space Marines]]</s> [[Black Templars]] in the imperium of man, warrior women devoted to the [[God-Emperor_of_Mankind|Emperor]]. Although they lack the genetic modification of their beefier brethren, they also wear their iconic [[Sisters of Battle Armour|specially made power armour]] and are armed mainly with the ubiquitous [[Bolter]] and [[Chainsword]], though they also have a particular fondness (to the point of pyrophilia fetish) for [[Flamer]]s. The Sisters of Battle are also known as the "Daughters of the Emperor", and officially as the '''"Adepta Sororitas"''', though the Adepta Sororitas refers to their entire organization, while the term Sisters of Battle refers only to their militant branch (that said, each Sister is a fully trained special forces soldier regardless of specialty). They are more colloquially known by players as "bolter bitches/babes" or "nuns with guns", almost always resulting in an awkward boner. They are ''not'' to be confused with [[Female Space Marines]], though they were the Marines Military Police in the olde Rogue Trader.

==Overview==
[[File:Lusty Marine.png|300px|thumb|left]]
The Sisters of Battle are part of the [[Ecclesiarchy]], the religious arm of Imperial government, and sometimes work with the [[Inquisition]]'s [[Witch Hunters]]. In the 36th millennium, the Ecclesiarchy's pope, a guy called [[Goge Vandire]], attained the dual position of Ecclesiarch and Master of the Administratum, effectively giving him control over everyone in the Imperium, including nearly all of its armed forces. With the exception of the Space Marines and Adeptus Mechanicus, pretty much everyone had to do what he said or face a slow and agonizing death. Unfortunately for everyone who wasn't lucky enough to be a Space Marine or Tech-Priest, he was also completely insane, and his rule was so devastating that it came to be known as the [[Goge Vandire|Reign of Blood]], leading to untold billions of deaths across the Imperium, which in turn led to violent warp storms the likes of which wouldn't be seen again until the formation of the [[Great Rift]] 5,000 years later. During this period, Vandire discovered a force of warrior-nuns living on the feudal world of San Leor known as the Daughters of the Emperor. Although they initially didn't want anything to do with him, he convinced them that he was the Emperor's chosen by having his bodyguard shoot him while he was protected by the force field of a rosarius. Because the relatively primitive Daughters of the Emperor had never seen a force field before, they assumed that this meant Vandire was protected by the Emperor, and happily joined him. Rechristened as the Brides of the Emperor, they served as Vandire's personal bodyguards, shock troops, servants, and concubines. With a force of hyper-loyal Battle Sisters at his command, Vandire became effectively untouchable, proven when he had the Sisters execute all of the [[High Lords of Terra]], which he quickly replaced with his cronies. Suffice to say, things looked pretty bleak.

Of course, this state of affairs couldn't last forever. Late in his reign, a preacher known as [[Sebastian Thor]] rose to prominence in the Imperium, leading a massive crusade to Terra to take down Vandire once and for all. Agreeing that they too were sick of the High Lord, the Space Marines and Adeptus Mechanicus joined forces and launched an assault on Terra, matching themselves against Frateris Templars and the Daughters of the Emperor. Unfortunately for them, the Daughters numbered around 10,000 women by this point, and they were battle-hardened, motivated, and armed to the teeth. The siege dragged on interminably, with no end in sight. Getting desperate, the Space Marines contacted the Adeptus Custodes, who had remained neutral for most of the siege, but agreed to help the insurrectionists out. Using secret passages to avoid the fighting, the Captain-General of the Custodes presented himself to Alicia Dominica, the leader of the Brides of the Emperor. After debating with her for some time, the Captain-General realized that she wasn't going to budge, and resorted to an extreme course of action; he took her and her five closest compatriots to the Imperial Palace and into the throneroom of the Emperor himself. No one knows what happened in there, but when the six women re-emerged, they went straight to Vandire, declared him a heretic of the highest degree, and beheaded him.

In the aftermath of this conflict, the Imperium underwent a substantial political restructuring known as the Reformation, designed to prevent another Reign of Blood from ever occurring. As part of this restructuring, the High Lords [[Decree Passive|decreed that the Ecclesiarchy was no longer allowed to maintain "men under arms."]] Of course, while this meant the Ecclesiarchy had to disband their fleet and standing armies of Frateris Templars, the Sisters of Battle were technically allowed to remain, being women under arms and not men. While many point to this as an example of the idiocy of the High Lords of Terra, this easily-circumventable wording was likely intentional, as unlike the other Ministorum forces, the Sisters of Battle had proven that their loyalty was to the Emperor first and the Ecclesiarchy second, meaning that they could be relied upon to police the Ministorum as well as protect it, which was also why Thor made a stand for them to be sanctioned.

In combat, Sisters of Battle have something of an obsession with the purifying effects of flame, and generally choose equipment that allows them to cover heretics with as much holy promethium and thermal lances as possible. This philosophy is most obviously exemplified by the Immolator tank, essentially a rolling [[METAL BOXES|steel crate]] with giant flamethrowers or multi-meltas stuck on it. They also have the [[Exorcist]], [[Awesome|a mobile pipe organ that shoots missiles.]] Less accurate than the Whirlwind Missile Launcher or any Imperial Guard artillery, but who cares, the thought of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flmoGRFZ7jc|pipe organs launching missiles while playing epic mass complete with High Gothic] is fucking awesome, dammit.

[[File:Ordersmilitant.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Brief overviews of the six main Orders. For a long time, this was basically the only lore that most of them had.]]
There are six main Orders, divided between the two Convents that were separated during the Reformation in the 36th Millenium: Prioris, based on Terra, and Sanctorum, based on Ophelia VII. All minor Orders are descended from one of these six. In general, Prioris behave like an actual military force, while Sanctorum is made up of Fanatical Sado-Masochists.

'''Convent Prioris Orders:'''
* [[Order of the Argent Shroud|'''Argent Shroud:''']] The Lawful Goods. Are a rarity among Imperial factions, in that they are described as being famous for selfless heroism, as well as altruism. For this reason, /tg/ likes to fluff them as noble space Paladins and she-bros to the [[Salamanders]]. Probably waiting for their husbando Lamenters to return. They wear Silver.
* '''[[Order of the Ebon Chalice|Ebon Chalice]]:''' The vanilla Order. These Sisters haven't changed a whole lot since they were first created, preferring to stick to their tried and tested methods. The most dedicated to Flamers and psyker-killing. They wear Black and White.
* [[Order of the Sacred Rose|'''Sacred Rose:''']] Cool, calm and collected. The most tactical Sisters. Enjoy gunning their foes down in a more disciplined manner. <s>If they were to get their own rules, their Rets would have slow and purposeful</s> their rules are dedicated to the new 8e mechanic for the sisters in Miracle Die, and its accumulation. The most defensively minded of all. They wear white.

'''Convent Sanctorum Orders:'''
* [[Order of the Bloody Rose|'''Bloody Rose:''']] Aggressive as fuck. Aim to kill off their enemies as quickly as possible, as they suffer not the heretic to live any longer than necessary. They wear red.
* '''[[Order of Our Martyred Lady|Our Martyred Lady]]:''' The postergirl Order, probably the ones who come to mind when people think of Sisters. The amount of favouritism they receive from GW is slightly disturbing. Just take a look at the Notable Sororitas Characters table below to get an idea of how they dominate SoB fluff. The Order itself is reputed as being determined even for SoBs, which is saying something. Will not stop until their enemies are utterly destroyed. They wear black and red. They originally wore all-black armour to show their mourning for St. Katherine, but changed the cloth to red to honour their losses during the Third War for Armageddon.
* [[Order of the Valorous Heart|'''Valorous Heart:''']] [[Asmodai|Repent!]] These Sisters feel the guiltiest about that whole [[Age of Apostasy]] thing, and as a result have an excess of [[Sisters Repentia|BDSM berserkers]]. Likely on constant lookout for the slightest sign of weakness in themselves or any allies serving alongside them. They wear the most black.

==Sororitas Orders Non-Militant==
As mentioned in the opening, not all of the Adepta Sororitas are actually Sisters of Battle. A number of Orders exist which officially serve non-combat-related roles in Imperial Society, although they tend to receive even less attention than their combat-fighting sisters. The largest source of info on these Sororitas thus-far is the ''Blood of Martyrs'' sourcebook for [[Dark Heresy]], which specifies the three most important Orders and mentions the existence of others. The latest 8e codex also covered the non-militant orders in some level of depth, as well as expanding on a few of the lesser known orders that were originally mentioned in ''Blood of Martyrs''.

* '''[[Orders Dialogous]]:''' These Sororitas are dedicated to the studying of language, with tasks ranging from interpreting long-lost texts to accompanying Imperial diplomats on contact missions with intelligent xenos species. Thanks to their training, even the most average Sororitas knows several hundred everyday human dialects and dozens of secret cants, ciphers, even xenos tongues. Sororitas of these Orders are some of the few individuals judged worthy (and capable) of actually understanding the [[Eldar]] tongue, a linguistic talent shared only by some Ordo Xenos Inquisitors and the occasional Rogue Trader, diplomat or Astartes.
* '''[[Orders Famulous]]:''' Figuratively the [[Dune|Bene Gesserit]], without the kung fu skills from perfect body control. These Sororitas serve intimately with the upper echelons of Imperial society, acting as chamberlains, counselors, and consuls to the nobility. Their focus is on the spiritual and genetic purity of the human race, so they concern themselves with not only seeing to the education of nobles, but also secretly arranging alliances and marriages, in the hope of preventing corruption and inbreeding from taking root. They are particularly involved in tracking the manifestations of saints, which makes them a popular ally for Thorian Inquisitors. This order very openly runs imperial aristocracy through a eugenics program, which is one of the prime reasons imperial nobles not only survived for milleinas without dying from inbreeding problems, but are actually in most ways superior to most of the rest of Mankind (and would remind you of their superior breed at any opportunity). However, considering the sheer amount of idiotic and despotic nobles that end up causing heretical uprisings throughout the Imperium, they clearly need more funding.
* '''[[Sister Hospitaler|Orders Hospitaller]]:''' Healers and medics, these Sororitas are amongst the most skilled and compassionate surgeons in the Imperium, meaning they are commonly found attached to the [[Imperial Guard]]. Given their mission, they are one of the more beloved orders by the common citizenry of the Imperium. Of course, this being the Imperium, they're also expert torturers often called upon for that purpose by the Ecclesiarchy and the Inquisition, though Inquisitors are cautioned against using Hospitallers to keep important heretics alive; they have a bad tendency to forget about the future gains and instead "take the Emperor's justice into their own hands". Handing them over after the interrogations is fully encouraged.
* '''Others:''' Scores, perhaps even hundreds, of minor non-militant Orders exist within the Adepta Sororitas.
** '''Orders Fenestrus:''' Maintain the armaglass windows of Imperial shrines and cathedrals. Now, you may say "WTF!? That is such a waste of manpower!", but you should think about the fact that the divine power of Big E keeps Chaos influence away and the Imperium makes sure that its places of worship are able to brainwash you into the soul protecting doctrine as much as as possible, and fabulous windows are an easy eye-catcher.
** '''Orders Madriga:''' Compose the temple choirs. Again, they are here to brainwash the population into compliance with the soul protecting Imperial Cult. [[/co/|They don't talk about Bruno.]]
** '''Orders Sabine:''' Sub-orders of the Famulous. Infiltrate newly rediscovered worlds and prepare them for the Missionarius Galaxia by religious subversion, producing fake evidence that the local head god and the Emperor are one and the same and if polytheistic assigning the lesser gods as local personifications of Imperial Saints. Within a generation, a human infant born on such a world can be found killing his grandparents Xeno friends, and it only takes that long if the Sabine are working without any support. When the time comes, the populace (even if previously politically divided) welcomes Imperial compliance with open arms and rejoins the greater mass of humanity.
** '''Orders Planxilium:''' Leading processionals on holy days. Once again, they are here to indoctrinate the massess.
**'''Orders Pronatus:''' Specialist Sub-Orders of the Dialogous. Retrieving, repairing, and guarding holy relics from around the Imperium.
** '''Orders Vespila:''' Sanctifying the dead and forensic specialists. Probably Hospitaler specialist sub-order as there is a good bit of overlap.

==Ranks of the Adepta Sororitas==

===Ranks===
* '''Novice:''' The lowest ranks among the sisters, they are raised so that their faith burns hotter than flame and they are trained to be capable of enduring hardships and practice self denial so that they may be pure. The vast majority come from the [[Schola Progenium]] and they are picked from notably talented and zealous female Progena. Coming from here, they are already fanatically indoctrinated to the Imperial Cult and are capable of basic weapons maintenance, legible in both the local variants (Sector wide minimum) of Low Gothic and in High Gothic and also familiar with the Imperium of Man on an institutional level. Some Orders may recruit from promising children who are made to undergo trials like the Adeptus Astartes do to their recruits.
* '''Constantia:''' Sisters in the final stages of basic training, they learn to use the sacred weapons of the Order, principally the holy [[Bolter]] and to deny the deceits of heresy.
* '''Cantus:''' A Cantus, having mastered basic combat skills, now learns specialized abilities so that they may be multi purpose tools in the Emperor's service: To cure, learn, counsel or kill. Only after this may Sisters be assigned their final places in their Order.
* '''Novitiate:''' A novitiate has completed her training as a Novice, Constantia and Cantus. She only has to take her final vows to the Emperor to take her place as a full Sister. Of course, it takes a fair bit of service in [[Novitiate Squad]]s to earn the right to take said vows.
* '''Sister:''' Sisters have taken their vows to the Emperor, and are ready to be deployed to the field.
* '''Sister Superior:''' NCOs who lead squads into battle, Sisters Superior are veterans who can guide their Sisters in battle.
* '''Legatine:''' Legatines are Sisters who are among the greatest of warriors, healers and spiritual leaders in an Order. They inspire devotion and have political power. Most usually go on to become commanders.
* '''[[Palatine]]:''' Palatines are junior officers who are experienced and fierce warriors who lead their Sisters to battle. Promoted to...
* '''[[Canoness]]:''' A Canoness is an overall senior commanding officer of one of the Orders Militant, each a veteran warrior of hundreds of battles. Their leadership, tactical and strategic acumen and faith in the Emperor is second to none in their command. This rank has the following sub ranks:
** '''Canoness Commander:''' Leads a Commandery of sisters.
** '''Canoness Preceptor:''' Leads a Preceptory of multiple Commanderies.
** '''Canoness Superior:''' The overall commander of an Order Militant.
* '''Prioress:''' One of two Cannonesses in charge of the convents. The Prioress of Convent Sanctorum is on Ophelia VII and the Prioress of Convent Prioris is on Terra.
* '''Abbess Sanctorum:''' The Prioress of the Convent Prioris on Terra, and a [[High Lords of Terra| High Lord of Terra]]. She is the overall Commander of the Adepta Sororitas and is assisted by her fellow Prioress of the Convent Sanctorum. Sister [[Morvenn Vahl]] of the Order of the Argent Shroud is the current Abbess. The position is necessarily political (as opposed to a Legatine, Palatine and Canoness having political power they can use), being part of the Senatorum Imperialis, the galactic government of all law abiding humans - though the current holder is more keen on having her secondaries handle those duties while she fights on the front lines.

===Orders Militant Tactical Specializations===
* '''Battle-Sister:''' The rank and file of the Orders Militant, Battle Sisters have completed their training and taken their vows in the Emperor's service.
* '''Militant:''' The first rank achieved beyond the most basic after they have begun combat operations.
* '''Elohim:''' The next rank after Militant, displaying they have shed blood in the Emperor's name by their own will.
* '''Dominion:''' The most aggressive warriors of the Order, equipped with special weapons like [[Storm Bolter]]s, [[Flamer]]s and [[Meltagun]]s.
* '''Retributor:''' The Sisters who believe the Emperor guides their shots become the Retributors, the heavy weapons specialists of the Orders. Most frequently carry [[Heavy Bolter]]s, [[Heavy Flamer]]s and [[Multi-Melta]]s.
*'''Seraphim:''' Only the best of the Sisters can join the elite jetpack assault teams, equipped with double [[Bolt Pistol]]s, [[Hand Flamer]]s or [[Inferno Pistol]]s.
* '''Zephyrim:''' Some Sisters achieve direct and personal connection with Emperor's divine might, and can only speak in a tongue that the Sisters believe only the purest of soul can understand. Being fanatical even by Order Militant standards, Zephyrim Sisters are given jetpacks like Seraphim but also use melee weapons rather than multiple pistols.
* '''Celestians:''' Celestians are Sisters who have proven themselves above and beyond their fellows, veterans of hundreds of battles. They are assigned as elite shock troops or honor guard. The best among them, Celestians Superior, assist Canonesses in the day-to-day affairs of their orders.

===Orders Famulous and Dialogous Ranks===
* '''Famula Advance''': A rank common to the sisters of the Orders Famulous, who devote themselves to diplomacy and the fine arts of negotiation. They are experts at dealing with the different Adepta of the Imperium and broker alliances and agreements between fractious power blocks, guilds and noble houses of many different Imperial worlds. Their primary goal is to preserve the Imperium's order and stability and ensure that those who rule or uphold the sinews of Imperial commerce are also working towards this goal. Their task, however, enables them to covertly monitor those they serve for signs of corruption or heresy.
* '''Dialogus Advance''': A dialogus advance is a rank of the Orders Dialogous, the sisters who focus their attention on the arts of the scholar, serving as translators and expert advisors for Imperial and planetary authorities in many fields. The armour of their faith makes them far less subject to petty corruption or hubris than others. The arts of the Dialogous are of obvious use to both the Adeptus Ministorum and, most particularly, the Ordos of the Inquisition, as they are expert at unlocking hidden codes and obscure references, dragging the faintest hint of heresy into the light.
* '''Nunciate Advance''': The rank of nunciate or "messenger" is afforded to those among the Orders Famulous and Dialogous who excel not only in their crafts, but who are also noted for their skills in leadership and experience at dealing with the Imperium's hierarchy. Such individuals are often entrusted to act on their own to represent their Order, or are tasked as close advisors to highly important individuals such as Inquisitors and Imperial military officers and civilian administrators.
===Orders Hospitaller Ranks===
* '''Hospitaller Advance''': A rank of the sisters of the Orders Hospitaller, who serve as physicians and offer palliative care at the frontlines of the Imperium's many war zones and disaster areas. To the common citizenry, they are saintly figures beyond reproach, but they are no more forgiving nor compassionate than the battle-sisters of the Orders Militant if confronted by heresy or the works of the Ruinous Powers.
* '''Curia Advance''': A senior rank of the sisters of the Orders Hospitaller. The Curia Advance has been forged in the crucible of war and catastrophe, honed by faith and discipline. These sisters' skills encompass not only the healer's arts, but also personal survival and the stewardship of those under their care in the harshest and most deadly of circumstances. These Hospitallers must know when to heal, when to give the final mercy and when to watch for the hidden enemy.
* '''Almoness Advance''': This is the senior-most rank of the Sisters Hospitaller. These sisters are as hardened to the horrors of the battlefield as any war veteran. Many of these experienced Hospitallers are called upon by both the Inquisition and the Astra Militarum to put their extensive skills and knowledge of medicae to darker ends in the service of the Imperium.

==Daily Rituals==
*04:00: Reveille: The Sisters are roused from their beds on the hard stone floor.
*05:00: Grooming: The Sisters shower, comb their hair, and brush their teeth. This is the point where roughly 80% of all activities involving the Sisters is imagined.
*06:00: Matins: A light prayer session of two hours in total silence.
*08:00: Breakfast: A light meal of flavorless gruel, as anything more enjoyable is an indulgence of the flesh and thus not to be tolerated.
*08:10: Morning Target Practice: The Sisters assemble for target practice, with roughly 50% more praying than other target practice sessions.
*11:00: Physical Training and Self-Mortification: The Sisters train their bodies, before whipping themselves and eachother. This is where the other 20% of Sisters Smut Happens.
*12:00: Ritual Abstention from Lunch.
*12:05: Meditation: The Sisters are encouraged to reflect on the weaknesses of flesh, and the unnecessary nature of midday meals.
*13:00: Midday Hike: The Sisters indulge in a scenic hike, in full power armour.
*15:00: The executions of Guardsmen found: to show insufficient faith in the God-Emperor, harbour excessive sympathy for mutants, be in possession of improperly shined boots, be equity with improperly maintained lasrifles, and to have insufficient faith in the God-Emperor, for good measure.
*16:00: Battle Practice: The Sisters gather to practice fighting with their extremely lethal weapons, sparring combat with each at full power is mandatory.
*18:00: Vespers: A light prayer session of two hours, in slightly louder silence.
*20:00 Surprise Inspection: The Sisters are inspected to ensure proper faith and equipment maintainence.
*20:30: A Second, Even More Surprising Inspection.
*21:00: Evening Meal. A flavorless meal of light salad, water and baked chicken breast(low fat).
*22:00: Compline and bedtime.

==Sisters Snuff==
Back in [[Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader|1st Edition]], they were present fluff only as an order that was essentially the [[Just As Planned|Inquisition for everyone including the Inquisition]] (like an Inquisition Internal Affairs branch; a "who watches the watchmen?" deal) and [[Derp|Space Marines]]. This would change in later editions, when they eventually get their own codex.

In 1997, when the [[Necron|Necrons]] were launched, [[Games Workshop]] had them face the Sisters in a Battle report, which the Sisters lost. The results of this battle report then became the [[Sanctuary 101]] fluff. Games Workshop liked the result so much that they decided the Sisters of Battle should get slaughtered all the time. Unless they are falling to Chaos, obviously. Some fans blame popular GW whipping boy [[Matthew Ward|Matt "Spiritual Liege" Ward]] for this tendency, but it was there long before he got here [[FATAL|and it continues to exist after he left]].

One way of looking at this is that it's the 'Worf Effect' (A.K.A.: [[Avatar of Khaine]] effect) in action - GeeDubs needs ''someone'' to take it up the ass to sell how powerful/crafty the [[BBEG]] of the week is, but stomping the Guard isn't all that impressive because of their eternal 'cannon fodder' shtick, stomping the Space Marines would make the posterboys of the franchise look weak, and the [[Skitarii]] are fairly obscure next to the prior two as well as being the AdMech Imperial Guard in almost all their books. The Sisters, by comparison, fall into the spot where they're theoretically powerful enough to sell the antagonist as a credible threat without making a majorly popular faction look weak, and without needing much in-universe justification as to why they're around (as would be the case with the Skitarii and Marines).

The other, of course, is that GW can't into good writing.

Please note that while [[Heresy|fa/tg/uys]] [[/d/|masturbate furiously]] to fanfics of Sisters engaging in BDSM fetish sex with the likes of other Lesbian sisters, servitors, [[Loli|children]], Schola Progenium cadets, Eldar, Dark Eldar, [[WhipsOil&Lofn|Half-Eldar]] or [[Sister of Nurgle|even the likes of Nurgle]], all of the below actually, '''canonically''' ''fucking happened''. (It should also be worth noting that they're getting stomped '''by their own fucking allies''' in most of these.)

[[File:Warhammer_40k_sisters_of_battle_adeptas_sororitas_battling_Dark_Eldar.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Heroic Lesbian Space Nuns + Evil BDSM Space Elves = Shut up and take my money! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fU5ZHQLsGo FAP !FAP! FAP!] ]]
Some highlights include:
* Some of a Dialogus Order and some Battle Sisters turned to Chaos by a [[Slaanesh|Slaaneshi]] Keeper of Secrets.
* A whole Order Mind Controlled by one Chaos [[Psyker]]. Fucking [[C.S.Goto|Goto]] (This happened again in the Ciaphas Cain books, although it was only a tiny convent with a couple of squads of sisters, not a entire Order, and said psyker was also a direct lieutenant of the [[Failbaddon|Despoiler]] himself who was capable of controlling [[Powergamer|entire planets]]).
* An Order is present in another Ciaphas Cain book, wherein they're tricked into exterminating the workers of a mining outpost and sheltering a rogue Inquisitor. In an unrelated matter, they nearly cost the Imperial Guard a crucial battle against the Tyranids because they couldn't keep their bloodlust in check (Only Ciaphas Cain calling them out for leaving countless civilians to be slaughtered in their temples as they pushed forward made them reconsider). That said, it's one of the kinder portrayals in this list, because the Sisters in that battle do manage to make it back to the defence lines, and the entire Order dies in a later battle covering the Commissar's exit in repentance.
* A strike force of [[Celestians]] and an [[Inquisitor]] being killed, cannibalized, and sacrificed by the Sons of Malice Astartes chapter for disturbing their victory rites and falsely accusing the chapter of heresy. (To be fair, a small force of sisters against an entire Chapter? Still doesn't excuse the cannibalism, though.)
* A whole shrine-world of Sisters killed by a [[Daemon Engine]] powered by [[rage]]. It shrugs off meltas, meltabombs and multiple [[Exorcist]] volleys, and the efforts of a number of [[Salamanders]] in Terminator armour. A [[Living Saint]] even gives up her divinity (not to be confused with virginity) to stop it by speaking the bound Daemon's true name (her order had a vow of silence, probably so the audio recording team could save costs on the speaking roles for the audio drama), therefore weakening it after her aura of peace causes it to calm down and shrink down to the size of a man instead of a massive daemon walker. [[What|The daemon is then destroyed when its shell is broken after a Space Marine decides to throw a]] [[Power weapon|Thunder Hammer]] at it. [[Fail|''We are not making this shit up'']].
* A detachment of Sisters killed by [[Grey Knights]], [[Khornate Knights|their bodies sliced open and their blood applied to the Grey Knights' armour, so the Grey Knights can be immune to the Bloodtide's effects (though some of the Sisters were immune with faith alone, make of that what you will).]] The Bloodtide was retconned in the most recent Grey Knights Codex to instead go down holding the line long enough for their Grey Knight allies to finish off the Daemons. Still losing, but at least this time they die with dignity.
* In another instance of Grey Knight-on-Sororita violence, during the climax of the first novel of the Grey Knight series, a detachment of Sisters led by Cannoness Ludmilla is tricked by a Chaos-turned Inquisitor into thinking that the Grey Knights pursuing it are Chaos Space Marines. A few pages later, said detachment gets kamikaze'd by said Grey Knight Strike Cruiser, which itself was shot down by Imperial Navy ships fooled into thinking that it was Chaos - starting to see a pattern here?
** Surprisingly, the only dudes that die from the crash are Imperial Guard and PDF - the Sisters survive but only to get the ever-Emprah-lovin' shit beaten out of them by the surviving Grey Knights. The sisters pull no punches, however, and do manage to take out a few of Alaric's squadmates, so power to them. BUT WAIT. Seeing as this was written by a much more competent author, unlike the ambiguous piece of shite-fluff written by a certain [[Matthew Ward|spiritual liege]], both sides figure out that this was part of an elaborate case of [[JUST AS PLANNED]], they stop fighting - even more shockingly, the person who ends it is Cannoness Ludmilla, after noticing the FUCKHUEG books bolted on the GK's mighty pauldrons, and team up to take down the Big Baddy.
* In the campaign for ''[[Dawn Of War|Dawn of War: Soulstorm]]'', Sisters under the command of Canoness [[Selena Agna]] were one of three Imperial factions involved in the Kaurava Conflict who failed to get on the same page and ended up being slaughtered by the Orks under the command of [[Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter]]. At least '''this''' time was an embarrassment for the Imperium all-around; the Blood Ravens Space Marines lost ''three companies'' in this conflict because they were led by [[Indrick Boreale|a bald idiot with an over-fondness for Drop Pods]] who was put in charge by [[Azariah Kyras|their traitor Chapter Master]] who wasn't discovered until it was almost too late later and the Imperial Guard took Ork boots so far up their asses that they all died tasting squig leather while [[Vance Stubbs|their leader]] slunk out of the system with his tail between his legs. But what really stings about this is that the Sisters were hostile to the Guard because they suspected them of causing the Warp Storm that instigated the conflict and they were ''entirely right'', as the Chaos ending reveals that the storm was triggered by an Imperial Guardsman who turned out to be a latent psyker. '''Oops.'''

==The Sudden Yet Inevitable Betrayal==
{{MattWard}}

[[File:Sister_Hmph.jpg|200px|thumb|left|The reaction of Sisters and SoB players everywhere to the codex update.]] On August 1, 2011 [[Games Workshop]] finally decided to attempt to "revamp" the Sisters of Battle with a [[White Dwarf]] codex, much to the aggravation of about two thirds of the [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Witch Hunters|Witch Hunters']] remaining playerbase. It was by no means a horrible update; initial worries on [[/tg/]] suggested it to be akin to a biblical plague in terms of disaster-level, when in truth it was simply sub-average. The update had its fluff written by [[Matt Ward|your SPIRITUAL LIEGE]]. In spite of this, it was squarely in-level with another [[Tyranids|bad codex update]], because the rules were clearly written by committee.

Gone were the various inquisitorial units that got gobbled up by the [[Grey Knights]] codex update. This meant that many of the classics, like [[Witch_Hunters#Lord_Inquisitor_Fyodor_Karamazov|Lord Inquisitor Krazypantzoff]] and [[Officio Assassinorum|Temple Assassins]], were gone, though they were replaced with Ecclesiarchy characters like [[Uriah Jacobus]] and [[Arch-Confessor Kyrinov]]. The Sisters did get some of Grey Knight units, namely [[Death Cult Assassin|Death Cult Assassins]], [[Arco-flagellant|Arco-Flagellants]], and [[Crusaders|Crusaders]], though their usefulness was questionable at best. [[Immolator|Immolators]] took a nasty nerf-bat to the face, being unable to fire on the move and losing all fire-points, which basically made them more-cost-effective [[Razorback Transport]]s). Who would have thought that Games Workshop would update an army by [[Carnifex|nerfing the one model every player had a couple of so that they all have to go out and buy new models]]?

Faith was functionally changed to a game of roulette, with randomized dice rolls deciding how much (if anything at all) you get. Units were given very specific faith powers on a squad-by-squad basis now, and whilst several were powerful, others were meh at best. [[Image:Repressor.jpg|right|thumb|Heavy armor in an update? We fucking ''wish''.]] Whereas before you had a nice general army that could use faith points to adapt to different situations, in the [[White Dwarf|Dwarf-dex]] system you had mostly weaker powers that were unreliable. Powers that most other units for similar points get permanently.

[[Sisters Repentia]] were originally purportedly nerfed, but in the end they were ''vastly'' better, boasting a 6++ invulnerable save, Fleet, and double their original number of attacks with a faith act to do more on death - meaning they stood a good chance of fucking up a lot of units they wouldn't pre-update... So ''now'' instead of paying ridiculous prices for a sick joke, you're just paying ridiculous prices for a suicide squad. At least they'll rape shit while they're there now. ''Progress''!

Sadly, things were muddled by a spree of fake releases as part of an [[Troll|April Fool's Prank]]. Original reports of genuinely useful units to offset the loss of the [[Stormtrooper|Stormtroopers]] and inducted forces thus turned out to be false. There was also talk of a new heavy transport/assault vehicle called the [[Repressor]], but it turned out to be part of the same fucking April Fool's Prank and is still Forgeworld-only (which sucks because it would be an improvement). Of the new characters, Kyrinov was semi-useful, and Jacobus was near-mandatory if you wanted to do anything with Acts of Faith. So in summary, about a third of the Sisters' armory is now gone without being replaced by anything. (The [[Bretonnia|knights]] feel your pain now.)

The biggest kick in the cunt for the Sisters, aside from the obvious loss of utility units, was the loss of ally rules and inducted unit rules. One of the biggest advantages the Sisters had was the ability to, courtesy of the Ordo Hereticus, requisition allied forces. A time-honored method of getting around the relatively weak Sisters of Battle vehicular lineup was to take some Inducted Guardsmen for a Leman Russ or two, or Space Marines for a Predator. The loss of Inquisitors also came with the loss of [[Land Raider|Land Raiders]] as dedicated transports, which was another stab at their vehicular capabilities.

===The Eternal Vigil===
[[Image:Homelesssister.jpg|right|thumb|She waited for so long, and finally found what she needed. Last seen burning heretics in battle with tears of joy streaming down her face.]]
For years many members of [[/tg/]] were violently, gleefully convinced the sisters were on their way to be [[Squat|squatted]], while a tiny contingent of the faithful kept a candle burning, waiting for the day that their beloved bolter bitches will rise again ([[Finecast|tiny bubbles]] and all). After 23 years of metal pewter and 3rd party conversions, their prayers were finally answered and the Emperor delivered onto them [[Awesome|genuine GW plastic bolter bitches!]]

*'''0172008.M3:''' The Sisters are released as a playable faction in [[Dawn of War|Dawn of War: Soulstorm]]. While it is poorly designed and built, it still drums up some enthusiasm for the Sisters. Many conflicted feels are had.
*'''0583011.M3:''' [[Matt Ward|The Destroyer]] and [[Robin Cruddace|The Cruddace]] release a playable [[White Dwarf]] codex for the sisters, hinting at a similar treatment to the [[Blood Angels|Blood <s>Angels]] </s> <s> heretics </s> fuck you.
*'''0608012.M3:''' The sisters are retained for the 6E allies system and given a new flyer via [[Forge World]]. An unconfirmed leak shows a line up of new Sisters characters in development.
*'''0569013.M3:''' Faithful pilgrims supplicate themselves before the great and powerful [[Jervis Johnson]] asking for news on the Sisters. They are told that all armies are being worked on and there are no plans to discontinue support for the sisters. [[Phil Kelly|The Kelly]] adds that modeling issues prevented their release previously.
*'''05611013.M3:''' Rumors begin swirling about an [[Warhammer 40,000/6th Edition Tactics/Adepta Sororitas|official digital codex]] release for the Sisters. A leaked and subsequently confirmed White Dwarf advert later confirms this, and promises an updated version of the 5e codex. A later interview with [[Robin Cruddace|The Cruddace]] indicates that the codex will include tweaks to Faith and points cost, and that if it sells well enough it may get a physical release. The release date for the digital codex was set for October 19th. Later comments on the GW Digital Editions facebook page confirms a Warlord Traits Chart, Ecclesiarchy Relics and an Altar of War, in addition to some updates, new fluff and artwork and changes to faith and points costs. It appears that the Sisters prayers have been at least partially answered. A physical release however is still very much dependent on the sale of this eBook however. Also during all this GW changes the name from Sisters of Battle to Adepta Sororitas most likely because it sounds cooler and is [[ChapterHouse Studios|easier to maintain copyright on]]. The reactions are mixed when the Codex is released, with such changes like making all Acts of Faith usable only once, maximum twice, per battle and many buffs and nerfs around the board, leaving many arguing whatever the Sisters got better or majorly screwed. However, this mixed reception '''is''' better than the universally negative reception of the [[White Dwarf]] codex.
*'''09999015.M3:''' Escalation is released, alongside Stronghold Assault. While Stronghold Assault slips by unnoticed, the Sisters of Battle receive no Lords of War choices in an otherwise controversial and poorly thought out expansion. It then falls to Forge World to release a downloadable sheet a few days later saying that Sisters armies can take Warhound & Reaver titans, as well as Marauder Bombers & Destroyers as Lords of War. The Sisters have yet to comment on how overkill these choices might be if they can ever deploy them. The Reaver is at least far too expensive for normal games.
*'''0914016.M3:''' The Adepta Sororitas digital codex finally gets a physical release as part of [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Imperial Agents|Codex: Imperial Agents]]. Like the digital codex, the new one has a mixed reception, as it removes Saint Celestine from the army (leaving the Sisters with a single named character) and comes with a formation that called the Vestal Task Force that isn't great. However, it also allows for Ministorum Priests to be taken independently, and separates the component units of the Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave, though these units are not given any buffs to make them useful on their own. Not much, but it was something.
[[Image:Celestine Fall of Cadia.jpg|left|thumb|Guess who's back, bitches?]]
*'''0999016.M3:''' The Warhammer TV team, after the initial hint in the video which saw Magnus announced, releases a compilation of 2016 launches. At the end of said video can be seen clearly several launches of January, including no other than a new plastic kit of the '''Living Saint Celestine''', supposedly tied to the release of The Gathering Storm: Fall of Cadia. The internet, and specially /tg/ and the SoB players go nuts shortly after that, which only gets worse after the confirmation in a Twitch live few hours later.
*'''0019017.M3:''' Fall of Cadia releases and Sisters are starting to return to the limelight. Not only do the Nuns With Guns play a substantial role in the 13th Black Crusade, but Saint Celestine is one of the key characters of the story, bringing reinforcements, rallying the beleaguered Imperial Forces, and facing off with [[Abaddon]] himself. She also gets updated rules which turn her into a powerhouse, capable of calling orbital strikes, chopping tanks in half, buffing nearby Imperial units, and becoming nearly impossible to kill. The book also comes with additional Ecclesiarchy Relics, causing much rejoicing among SoB fans.
===The Return===
[[File:WHFest2019-Sororitas1.jpg|250px|thumb|right|A fully painted sneak peak of things to come. Amazingly, GW has taken the time to learn how to sculpt female models [[Commorragh Slaves|that don't look hideous]], though they still haven't learned that [[THIN YOUR PAINTS|using CAD to sculpt in zillions of fiddly details makes life hell for novice painters.]] And she finally has a name! Sister Superior Amalia Novena.]]
*'''0233018.M3:''' In the [[https://www.warhammer-community.com/2018/03/22/breaking-news-major-revealsgw-homepage-post-1/ Adepticon XVI of 018.M3]], the team disclosed a plethora of information of future releases: [[Imperial Knight#Castellan_Knight_Patterns|Knights Castellan]], photos of the [[Idoneth Deepkin]] for AoS, a TCG of AoS and more. One of these announcements is the confirmation that '''THE RENOVATION IN PLASTIC OF THE SISTERS OF BATTLE IS HAPPENING'''. This is due to the overwhelming support of the fanbase during the Great Survey, which convinced the high-ups to give them what is due. The release date was unconfirmed, but temporally was "Emperor's willing, 019.M3" and in the meantime the whole process of designing, creating and bringing them back will be made public. The Sisters would not be going the way of [[Squats|Bretonnia, the space Dwarves, Kislev and Nehekhara]] after all. PRAISE THE EMPRAH!!
*'''0999018.M3:''' GW releases beta Adepta Sororitas rules in Chapter Approved 2018. Despite an insane amount of hype, the rules end up being rather lackluster, and are met with a [[Skub|mixed reaction]] from the community. Although the beta rules help Sisters in some ways, such as buffing Exorcists and making Uriah Jacobus worth his point cost, they also include a series of inexplicable nerfs which drastically reduce their overall utility as an army, such as removing eviscerators from Canonesses, splitting up Celestine and the Geminae Superia, and completely removing wargear options from Ministorum Priests. Worst of all, they reworked Acts of Faith into a points-based system which was both more confusing and less useful than the Index Acts of Faith rules, effectively giving Sisters an army-wide nerf. Fortunately, this was just a beta codex, and [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2019/03/04/battle-sister-bulletin-part-2-beta-rules-feedback/ GW is listening to the community's response.]
*'''0659019.M3:''' During the Nova open a new box set for the sisters was revealed, with new models for the Penitent engine and the Mistress of Repentance as well as confirming November to be the release month for the Sisters new range. The end of the Eternal Vigil is in sight.
*'''0877019.M03:''' The Sister of battle boxset is released..... and then instantly sells out, leaving many Sister fans without a box. GW addresses this saying there will be another chance to get the box in stores on November 29th. [[Tzeentch|Almost as if this was planned]]. It's also announced that the proper release for Sisters with the multi-part kits will actually drop during January 2020, so Sister player will have to wait a little longer for the actual release.
*'''0050020.M03:''' The first actual wave of new Sister models drops, along with the codex, with the next waves of new Sister models being released over the next few weeks. After 23 years, the Sisters of Battle have new, proper plastic model sets. The Eternal Vigil is finally over.
*'''0394020.M03:''' During the [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2020/05/23/the-big-warhammer-40000-previewgw-homepage-post-1/|"Big 40k Preview"], GW revealed the [[Warhammer 40,000 9th Edition|next edition]] of Warhammer 40k, and in the animated trailer for the edition it shows off the [[Sanctuary 101|Sisters fighting Necrons]] along side Space Marines. Further more the Sisters got their [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2020/06/18/faction-focus-adepta-sororitasgw-homepage-post-4fw-homepage-post-4/|Faction Focus] for the new edition very quickly. Both of these facts seem to suggest that GW has realised the popularity of the Sisters and is pushing them to be the Imperiums #2 faction, usurping the Imperial Guard from this position (though the Imperial Guard is finding itself in the same position as the Sisters were). How far they have come in such little time.
*'''0245021.M03:''' As of April 2021 Sisters are now officially in the top tier of the competitive scene, with the recent updates making them a solid and flexible army capable to engage and win in nearly all situations.

===Getting Started With The Nuns===
You can buy the official models.

Or you can look around other 3rd party miniature stores as most will have extras for your army or alternatives to the normal Sister models. Feel free to uses these to further customise your army or create more unique characters (You can't play in GW stores but there are plenty of [[LGS]] out there so meh).

==The James Swallow books: SoBs can win too!==
[[File:Hammer-and-anvil.jpg|250px|thumb|left|Sister Miriya from Hammer & Anvil; yes, [[Black Library]] artists can draw pretty sisters too.]]
Among [[Black Library]], there are two books, specifically starring the Sisters, that are widely considered to be some the finest portrayals of SoBs in all of [[40K]] fluff. Both were authored by [[James Swallow]], who decided that Sisters needed some attention and got to work. The first, [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/Faith-and-Fire.html Faith and Fire], has the Sisters battling with what are basically terrorist psykers on a shrine world while trying to uncover the reasons behind the attacks. Then there's the sequel, [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/Hammer-and-Anvil.html Hammer and Anvil]. Remember reading about Sanctuary 101 up there? This book has them going back there and trying to figure out what happened. While saying too much would be spoiling it, it can be said that shit hits the fan hard and that the final battle is very epic stuff. Also, if you're feeling extra faithful, Swallow wrote an SoB audiobook called [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/red-and-black-mp3.html Red and Black]. A prequel to Faith and Fire, it has the Sisters being sent to a recently rediscovered planet as representatives of the Imperium, and ultimately to judge it. Needless to say, things get complicated. Also features a Scottish SoB. So, you can help the Sisters by getting the above books so that [[Games Workshop]] and Black Library may decide to change their minds and give some love to these girls. Or at least give them some additional badass portrayals.

==Tactics==
The Sisters of Battle employ a costly yet simple tactic whenever they're called out for battle:

<br>1. Bring thousands of sexually deprived Sisters of Battle into the field.
<br>2.Arm them all with Melta and flame-based weapons. Small squads of Storm Bolters also encouraged.
<br>3.<s>Tell them they can shlick to the image of the Emperor if they triumph over the foul enemies of the Imperium.</s> {{BLAM|'''HERESY. *BLAM*'''}}
<br>4.Set them loose, hope you are not fighting slaaneshi cult, hope you're fighting Dark Eldar wyches (although they do seem to be doing that just fine in one of the artworks on this page).
<br>5.If they do win, all remaining Imperial troops, save for the SoBs, are ordered off the field.
<br>6.No other accounts can be heard of, as remembrancers and all other Imperial journalists are sworn to an oath of silence on whatever events transpired (one theory is it would look like a mix of "Soldier of Fortune" and "Girls Gone Wild")
<br>7.????
<br>8.Profit.

''(Yes we do have a real tactica, its [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Adeptus_Ministorum (9E)|here]].)''

==Notable Sororitas Characters==
{|align=center border="1" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0""
|-
|align=center|'''Name'''
|align=center|'''Order'''
|align=center|'''Description/Current Status'''
|align=center|'''Image'''
|align=center|'''Model'''
|-
|align=center|'''[[Canoness Veridyan]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|The canoness from the cover of the 2nd Edition codex. A steadfast, calculating woman who operates with a high degree of precision.
|align=center|[[Image:Veridyan Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|[[Image:Veridyan Model.jpg|150px|]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Ephrael Stern]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|Also known as the Thrice-Born and the Daemonifuge. A living weapon against Chaos with incredible supernatural power, she traveled to the Black Library with an exiled Harlequin in order to better understand and harness her powers. She eventually reappeared during the [[Indomitus Crusade]] and proved vital in dealing with the [[Necrons]] in the [[Psychic Awakening|Pariah Nexus]] as due to her powers being faith based and not psychic they could not be suppressed.
|align=center|[[Image:Ephrael Stern Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|[[Image:SternMini.JPG|150px|]] [[File:Ephrael Stern and Kyganil-2020.png|150px]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Miriael Sabathiel]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]] (formerly)
|align=center|Former Sister Superior of the Order of Our Martyred Lady and one of the very few Sisters who fell to Chaos (specifically, Slaanesh worship).
|align=center|[[Image:Miriael Sabathiel Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|None
|-
|align=center|'''[[Miriya]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|Celestian Superior of the Order of Our Martyred Lady and protagonist of Swallow's Sister of Battle books. Best known for her independent, headstrong attitude as well as her creative interpretation of orders. While this frequently gets her into trouble with her superiors, it also makes her uniquely qualified for handling situations that require quick action and outside-the-box thinking.
|align=center|[[Image:Mirya Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|None
|-
|align=center|'''[[Saint Celestine]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]] (formerly)
|align=center|A sister who became one of the most famous [[Living Saint|Living Saints]] in the Imperium. Best known for her angelic presence, relentless optimism, and resurrection
powers, the latter of which makes her nearly impossible to kill. <s>She's also heavily implied to be the Imperial equivalent of a [[daemon prince]]</s> {{BLAM}} {{BLAM|HERESY!}}
|align=center|[[Image:Celestine Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|[[Image:Celestine 7e.jpg|150px|]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Canoness-Errant Setheno]]'''
|align=center|Order of Piercing Thorn (Minoris)
|align=center|After completely eradicating her own order on '''suspicion''' of corruption, she became Canoness-Errant, a vaguely defined position that involves a lot of asskicking.
Inquisitors wish they were as scary as her. Allied with the [[Black Dragons]] and [[Commissar Yarrick]]. Also she can apparently move fast enough to cut bolter fire, and block lasfire.
|align=center|None
|align=center|None
|-
|align=center|'''[[Saint Katherine]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of the Fiery Heart]]
|align=center|A living saint and whose death caused her order to rename themselves to the Order of Our Martyred Lady. Also, it's her armour and sword that are now wielded by Saint Celestine.
|align=center|None
|align=center|[[File:Sisters The Triumph of Saint Kathrine.jpg|150px]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Canoness Superior Junith Eruita]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|A new Canoness revealed for the new SoB lineup. After the cathedral she was fighting in collapsed on her, [[Awesome|she punished the cathedral for trying to kill her]] by turning its unbroken pulpit into her personal weapons platform.
|align=center|None
|align=center|[[File:Sister JunithEruita.jpg|150px]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[High Lords of Terra|High Lady]] [[Morvenn Vahl|Morvenn Vahl, Abbess Sanctorum]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of the Argent Shroud]]
|align=center|A righteous, no-nonsense, military minded, current Abbess Sanctorum. The Ecclesiarch elected her to be their pawn but she don't play fiddle to no one.
|align=center|[[Image:Vahl portrait.jpg|150px]]
|align=center|[[Image:MorvennVahlAbbessSanctorum.jpg|150px]]
|}

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Adeptus Ministorum (9E)|Tactica on how to play them.]]
*[[Sisters of Battle Order Creation Tables]]: Create your very own Order of pyromaniac nuns.
*[[Sisters of Sigmar]]: The Warhammer Fantasy equivalent
*[[Sisters of Silence]]: Not to be confused with Sisters of Battle.
*[[/tg/ Codex Supplement - Faith Militant]]: An [[Warhammer 40,000 8th edition|8th edition]] [[homebrew]] codex supplement for everyone's favorite Nuns With Guns. Includes new characters, frateris milita, flyers, customizable Living Saints, and much more!
*[[Sisters of Cleaning]]: a [[/tg/]] created order who put the "maid" in "battle maiden".
*[[The Times and Trials of Klightus]]: a love story about a shy [[Imperial Guard | Guardsman]] and a Sister of Battle.
*[[The Steadfast Pewter Sororitas]]: a sad story about what happens to those metal Sisters that don't get bought.
*[[Sister of Nurgle]]: An article riddled with the blessings of Nurgle and [[PROMOTIONS]].

===/tg/-Created Orders===
*[[Order Of The Anointed Arrow|Order of the Anointed Arrow]]: Divergent order of stealthy snipers who smite the enemies of Mankind with fuel-air explosives, laden with the ashes of martyrs. Also loves telling war stories.
*[[Order Of The Armoured Heart|Order of the Armoured Heart]]: Melee specialists who wear specially constructed strength-enhancing carapace armor instead of power armor.
*[[Order of the Blinded Martyr]]: Proud warriors who believe the Sororitas should be excellent soldiers first and foremost. They kick a lot of ass, but also have a bad habit of not retreating when they should, which has brought them to the brink of extinction.
*[[Order of the Guiding Light]]: Defenders of the solar archeotech on the planet Pasiphae alongside their [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cult Mechanicus]] allies. Sworn enemies of Tzeentch and his minions who seek to take the world for [[Just as planned|probably nefarious purposes]].
*[[Order of the Martyred Heart]]: Aztec-themed sisters who utilize holy blood rituals to empower their warriors with the [[The Emperor|Sun-Emperor's]] might. Close allies with the [[Blood Jaguars]] space marine chapter.
*[[Order of the Obsidian Mirror]]: A rare fusion of an order dialogus and an order militant, the sisters of the Obsidian Mirror are experts in covert and psychological warfare who wage a deadly secret war throughout the Ultima Segmentum.
*[[Order of the Pointed Word]]: Guardians of the vital trade world of Dar-al-Rashid who prize wisdom and intellect above all. The sisters of the Pointed Word are master strategists who utilize a highly mobile form of warfare to secure victory.
*[[Order of the Waning Dawn]]: [[Nazi|Genetic purists]] who hate the mutant and the alien even more than most Sisters of Battle, but are weirdly okay with Psykers. Rather than having a homeworld, they're based out of a warp-capable space fortress called the Fist of Purity. Currently engaged in a brutal four-way war on the [[Black Sentinels]] recruiting world of Derosk XII against [[Tau Empire|T'au]], [[Ork]], and [[Dark Eldar]] forces.

==External Links==
*[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1426730/ suptg archive about Sisters of Battle and pedophilia].
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHuNbWMBAeA FOR THE IMPERIUM! ''Hey, there's no rule saying that warrior space nuns can't be badass.'']
*[https://www.sendspace.com/file/8zykal Rules & Summary for Codex: Adepta Sororitas, for those who do not like the clusterfuck 7e digital codex.]{Broken Link FYI}
*[https://youtube/__GHpmdmJu0/ They can also sing!].

==Gallery==

===General===
<center>
<gallery>
2nd edition SistersofBattlecover.jpg|The 2nd Edition SoB codex, illustrated by [[John Blanche]] himself. A more metal, grimdark piece of cover art has yet to be conceived.
AdSor.jpg|Scourge and Purge!
16 bit Battle Sisters SteelJoe.gif|The Action-Girls of 40k (Animated!)
Nun n' Gun.jpg|What? U MAD [[Space Marines|SPESS MAHREEN?]]
Sister of D'awwwww.jpg|They aren't actually this cute. -But they should be.-
But That's Heresy.jpg|But whatever it is, it's probably worth it. Maybe.
Sororit as planned.jpg| The face she makes when she realises it's just [[Anal circumference|you, her and a revving chainsword in a dark room...]]
Pedo Sisters.jpg
NoiseMarine SoB.jpg | [[Rape|We all know how this is going to end.]]
MujuLolcron.jpg|Love Can Bl-- wait.
Sororitas.png
Ephrael_stern_page29.jpg|There was a sister in the [[Lost Worlds]] battlebook series.
1290509755821.jpg|Can't read my, Can't read my, No he cannot read my Purging Face (She's got no one to spare)
Sistersnslaanesh.jpg| Incompetent Inquisitor is incompetent (Hey, we know he did that on purpose).
1269678816033.jpg|dum dum dum... dummmm
1228253984074.jpg|OMNOMNOMNOM
1230052783344.png|Post whenever you need to make a fa/tg/uy rage that he doesn't understand the role and jurisdiction of Commissars.
Peachsororitas.jpg|Sorry Mario, but your Heresy is in another castle
Games Workshop Hates France.jpeg|This is rain.
File:Part Deux.jpg|2019. The year [[Warhammer fantasy|everybody]] [[Bretonnia|came back]].
1232217288173.jpg
LolimoNsis.png
B0018254_4897156440df9.jpg|Grimdark meets [[Hot Chicks]].
1227858843066.jpg|Sisters love delicious xeno shota.
Sororita_change_poster.png|Yes We Can
Nagasister_of_battle.jpg|Are we this desperate for recruits?
Haters.png|Haters gonna BURN in 2019!
Sistersuperior.jpg
1335738154693.jpg
SisterShy.jpg|You don't want to see her tsun side.
Notsureheresy.jpg
Heretic%3F_Colored.jpg|Better purge them anyway...
SisterCheer.jpg|<s>NO THATS STUPID NO NO NO.</s> Let's face it, being a bunch of glorified cheerleaders was pretty much what they were reduced to for '''ages'''. Thank God for changes in management.
Sisterweeaboo.jpg
Pyschosister.jpg|[[Awesome|Problems heretics?]]
ChaosCookies.png|Just as planned.
BurnHereticsBurn.jpg|Heretics gunna get burned.
SororitaInquisitorIsntHome.jpg|When the Inquisitor's away, the Sisters will play...
Sisters of repentia sisters of battle Adepta Sororitas rule 34 montage can't believe how hard fetish rule 34 Warhammer 40k myoc redux.jpg|As hilarious as it is to picture a bunch of semi-nude nuns bull rushing a carnifex or a baneblade through a hail of gunfire, it's also weirdly sexy. Behold, the [[Sisters Repentia]].
Sororitastakeabreak.png|What the Sisters were reduced to until 2019.
Remember.jpg|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smqK5cHSxMA Remember]
Games_Workshop_Hates_France.jpeg|''Don't hang on''<br>''Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky...''
Part_Deux.jpg|And from that day on, she swore to dedicate every heretic, xeno and traitor she killed to his memory.
</gallery>
</center>

===Cosplay===
<center>
<gallery>
FB IMG 15951165224041649.jpg
FB IMG 15951165162181028.jpg
FB IMG 15951165057975486.jpg
FB IMG 15951164971844193.jpg
FB IMG 15951164872150272.jpg
FB IMG 15951164808935110.jpg
Sororita cosplay7.jpg
SororitaAsianCosplay.jpg|Sister Shoju
Sororita_cosplay4.jpg
Repentia_+_bolter_bitches.jpg|The [[China|Chinese]] are beating us to the punch.
Sis.jpg
Celestine Cosplay.jpg|Sweet Emprah!
SoB Cosplay.jpg
SoB Cosplay 2.jpg|Scarred sisters are best sisters
SoB Cosplay 3.jpg
Shenzi sob warhammer 77 by cynshenzi-dalqqbb.jpg
1518145539057.png
1468433605143314511.jpg
1514910964169599531.jpg
SoB Cosplay 4.jpg
SoB Cosplay 5.jpg
1522066264701.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

===New Models===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Battle sister 1.jpg|The new Battle Sisters, with their badass helmets.
File:Nova-Sob-Seraphim.jpg
File:Sister Celestial.jpg|Celestials, Dominions and battle sisters all share the same kit now.
File:Sister Dominion.jpg|"Hellraiser! In the thunder and heat!"
File:Sister Retributors.png|New Retributors.... just put some helmets on them and it will all be kosher. (That 5 o'clock shadow tho...)
File:Sister Dialogous.jpg|New Dialogous.
File:Sister MultiCannoness.jpg|A character kit with options? What year is it?
File:Sisters Repentia.jpg|The new Repentia. The most [[Skub]] causing models of the entire range.
File:Sister Hospitiler.jpg
File:Sister Imagifier.jpg|"You brought a flag? That's cute"
File:Sister Zephyrim.png|
File:BSB Rhino.jpg|Look! Rhinos! RHINOS! The sisters hide in METAL BAWKSES, DA KOWARDZ! TEH FEWLZ!!
File:Sister Exorcist.jpg|The next song is titled "Get Fucked".
File:Sister Immolator.jpg|BEHOLD THE IMMOLATOR!
File:Nova-SoB-Pentient.jpg|The Pentient engine lost weight.... and a few inches in height.
File:Sisters Mortifier.jpg|A new variant of pentient engine, called a Mortifier.
File:New Damien 1427.png|New Arco-Flagellants, and a returning face.
File:Sister Battle Sanctum.png|And it wouldn't be an 8th edition update without a building.
</gallery>
</center>

===Painting pretty Sisters of Battle faces (so they don't look like manly marines)===
<br>
<br>
<center>
<gallery>
Pretty-sister-1.jpeg
Pretty-sister-2.jpeg
Pretty-sister-3.jpeg
Pretty-sister-4.jpeg
Pretty-sister-5.jpeg
</gallery>
</center>
<br><br>

===Emblems===
<br><br>
<center>
<gallery>
OrderOfOurMartyredLadyEmblem.jpg|Our Martyred Lady
OrderOfTheArgentShroudEmblem.jpg|Argent Shroud
OrderOfTheBloodyRoseEmblem.jpg|Bloody Rose
OrderOfTheEbonChaliceEmblem.jpg|Ebon Chalice
OrderOfTheSacredRoseEmblem.jpg|Sacred Rose
OrderOfTheValorousHeartEmblem.jpg|Valorous Heart
</gallery>
</center>
<br><br>
And...
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Well I guess you simps were expecting promotions right?...

===PROMOTIONS===
<br/>
{{Promotions}}
<br/>
<center>
<gallery>

Canoness femdom.jpg|<span style="text-decoration: line-through;">Goddamn fetishists...</span> <span style="color:purple">'''Ohoho!''' The [[Slaanesh|glorious satin throne]] is telling me '''someone''' is feeling a little butthurt! Speaking of which I'm late for my [[Rape|lunchtime appoin-]]{{BLAM|}} {{BLAM|Filthy Slaanesh worshipper!}}</span>
Sistergangbang.png|There are not too many men (not counting old priests) in Adepta Sororitas so they have to improvise.
Strip_hammer_commission_for_propertyoflamb_by_hotgum-dagtqp6.jpg|What happens when a Battle Sister, a Repentia, a Hospitaller and a Living Saint decide they need to make a little cash?
R-daemonette 10.jpg |evidence that slaneesh can corrupt sisters of battle
Repentia_1.jpg|Sisters Repentia are supposed to repent. Stop whinging you know we know that you like this more.
FIGHTBYMYSIDE.jpg| An imperial artist's representation of a living saint.
1230051355300.gif|GENESTEALERS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. <s>-But they should-</s> NO THEY SHOULDN'T, YOU SICK [[Slaanesh|PERV]].
Sister reading heretical text by Naga.gif
1233114472588.png|Unlike other settings, in 40k this kind of thing DOESN'T work. Still kinda hot though.
Sororitas strawberries.jpg
Sisters.jpg
Repentia_2.jpg|Not that they are fanatical about it.
2nhnnlh.jpg|The lesser known loli chapter.
X6eb14.jpg|More loli.
Sororita_by_ipheli-d9mzze4.png|Sister Temeraire at rest
Sororita_2_rest_by_ipheli-damic1m.png|Interesting place for your devotional tattoo...
Saint celestine and the geminae superia by sexual yeti-dat6rd3.png|Sexy Celestine
91a96fb85899c260cb028d6ac34603b6.jpg
ToTheEnd.jpg|To the end...
</gallery>
</center>

==Navigation==
{{Sororitas-Characters}}
{{Sisters-of-Battle}}
{{Sisters-Orders}}
{{Imperium}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]
[[category:Imperial]]
[[Category:Matt Ward]]
[[Category:Sisters of Battle]]

Commissar

2026-03-24T06:48:41Z

Archange1: Undo revision 1008390 by 192.42.116.179 (talk)

[[Image:Comissar.png|frame|{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}]]
{{Awesome}}
{{Topquote|{{BLAM|How many Guardsmen does it take to unload a gun? Lets find out shall we? '''*BLAM!*'''}}| A Commissar during Tuesday.}}
{{Topquote|You're going back to the front lines and you may get shot and killed, but you're going to fight. If you don't, I'll stand you up against a wall and have a firing squad kill you on purpose. In fact, I ought to shoot you myself, you goddamned whimpering coward.|George S. Patton to a shell-shocked soldier in the hospital}}
{{Topquote|When there's something scary up ahead, put something even scarier behind.|Imperial doctrine}}

In the times long before these dark hours of the forty-first millennium, commanders of various Terran military entities and their successors in the colonial states of galactic expansionism remained in relative safety throughout the duration of various conflicts instead of charging the lines of their enemies with vitriol and froth issuing from their mouths in equal rabid measure. The instruments of the will of higher officers on the battlefield were men of inflexible will and intolerable zealotry, men greatly respected and feared by their underlings who inspired entire battalions with selfless example and were willing to sacrifice themselves for the success of their company and their empire. Regardless, these times have long passed.

In this current moment of the history of man, war has become a very different thing. Lasguns firing, explosives detonating, great beasts of unimaginable terror charging the trenches without fear, death of all sorts stalking behind every wisp of smoke... and that's just at the front. Behind every line of trembling conscripts is a man, sanctimonious, who fires not upon the hordes of the enemy, but his own troops.

That man is the '''Commissar'''.

They get a cool [[hats|hat]], a [[Nazi]]-esque longcoat, a sword or power fist they seem all too happy to hit the enemy with and their iconic [[Bolt Pistol|bolt pistol]] which they use to "boost" the morale of their men, although they sometimes trade it for las or plasma pistols (but seeing your buddy's head explode or melt down does indeed motivate you better than just seeing a laser beam go through it).

A Commissar that lacks any guardsmen to execute and is in the proximity of any vehicle proceeds to clamber on the said vehicle and threaten the crew into charging the enemy so he can hit the enemy with his close combat weapon. Hilarity ensues depending on the kind of closest vehicle, close combat weapon and closest enemy.

Commissars also have a tendency to get killed suspiciously far from the front lines. Such a tragedy; our platoon's dear Commissar tripped on his own grenade, while in the latrines. Oh well, such is life fighting in the Emperor's name. Hopefully his replacement will learn well from such an unfortunate accident.

They also have mad shooting skills, some can even execute '''ENTIRE SQUADS OF COWARDS''' in the time it takes to drop their hats. If only they could shoot the enemies that fast, what with their phenomenal accuracy when shooting their own men and all.

They are preceded with Discipline Masters in Great Crusade era.

==On a more serious note==

''' TLDR:''' Although there are a multitude of jokes and pages on /tg/ basically calling these guys nothing more than blunt instruments of discipline. The role of a Commissar is more nuanced. The Commissar leads by example and will never give an order he wouldn't do himself. In a universe of untold horror, these men lead thousands of often poorly trained and equipped men and women to war. These chosen few are genuinely inspirational and will ensure that the Emperor's currency (human life), is spent effectively. But should you dare falter from battle, they will not hesitate to make you an example of what happens to [[Tau|cowards.]]

Beyond their reputation as [[Khârn|team-killing fucktards]], the presence of Commissars make a lot of sense in the Imperial Guard. Copy-pasted straight from Civil War Soviet real world Commissars (save for the uniform) with a dash of Great War-era "charge the enemy or I'll execute you" British Army officer thrown in, they're political officers with everything that entails.

First of all, they are the warrants of doctrine. They will deal with any disciplinary issue coming up whenever a Guardsman misbehaves. The punishment for cowardice and desertion is death and the Commissar will apply the sentence on the spot, but that is only the tip of the iceberg. As a Guard regiment travels around the Imperium, they will come in contact with other cultures and ideas. Ideas that could potentially be dangerous and morale-ruining (looking at you [[Tau]] propaganda, but not only). Just like their real-world counterparts made sure random Ivan remained true to the ideals of communism, the Imperial Commissar will ensure such heretical ideas are suppressed and the regiment remains loyal to the Imperium and fit for duty. Where to the simple Guardsman this translates into being constantly watched by a terrifying enforcer of discipline that does not hesitate to shoot a deserter on the spot, to the higher echelons of the Guard they're a (frankly necessary) constant reminder they're supposed to do their job as defined by [[High Lords of Terra|the old coots back home]] and not go rogue to seize a planet for their own or carve out their own little kingdom. Yeah, it takes a lot to become a Commissar, tactical and strategic training included: after all, they have to judge the competence of everyone, up to and including Lords Solar.

A second part of their job is to ensure cooperation between elements of the Guard. You see, the Imperium is vast. Extremely vast. And only very loosely unified as a whole. Hence what is considered quite normal on one world would have denizens from another throw a massive bitchfit, if not worse. Imagine the result of stuck-up [[Mordian Iron Guard]]s in the same room as rowdy [[Catachan Jungle Fighters]] unsupervised, you'll get the idea. Commissars make sure discipline is maintained and rules are adhered to (by force of arms if necessary), no matter the origin of the warriors under their care.

The third part is military counseling. Officially, a Commissar is outside the chain of command and can only advise on military matters, the ultimate decision remaining in the hands of the commanding officer. But, as mentioned, they also have the authority to execute any soldier if they conclude they're severely derelict in the prosecution of their duties (this includes high ranking officers, as [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt|Ibram Gaunt]], [[Commissar Holt]] and Viktor Hark have demonstrated). Should it come to pass that the leader of a squad or regiment has fallen (one way or another, either due to the enemy or {{BLAM}}), the Commissar will assume command himself. Most Guardsmen dread when this happens for this all too often results in a <strike>pointless</strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* Glorious'''}} last stand for anyone involved, and anyone attempting to retreat is given a bolter round to the back of the head for cowardice. In their minds however, Commissars have no choice: they simply cannot flee or order a retreat as they're well aware this would be the surest way for morale to collapse immediately, especially if they just executed the commanding officer. In many cases the situation has already gone so FUBAR when a Commissar assumes command he decides standing his ground and taking as many enemies of the Emperor with him is the only meaningful choice left to him and the men close to him; [[Fist of the North Star|for they are already dead]]. The inverse is also true, if a commander refuses to retreat when it would serve the Emperor to do so, the Commissar can and will take command as well. This said, it is not always a bad thing when it happens, [[awesome|the most famous example]] is [[Commissar Yarrick]] assuming command of the defense of [[Armageddon]]; whose undaunted contest of Hades hive made [[Ghazghkull Thraka]] lose sight of the larger battle because he couldn't see it as anything but a personal challenge and answered in kind, leaving the flanks of his hordes wide open for the Imperial counter-attack. Another thing to remember is that while a Commissar can temporarily receive or assume command, they will relinquish it back to a proper officer at the end of the mission/first occasion they get. They are ([[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt|mostly]]) watchdogs meant to keep an eye on the proceedings, not leaders themselves.

The fourth part is being an exemplar for all Guardsmen to follow. They can't be accused of being hypocrites, and so will most of the time stay close to the action and lead by example. One of the core tenets of the [[Imperial Creed]] is [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|Mankind's right to be the sole owners of the Galaxy]], and the Commissar is always ready to personally prove it to any [[Harlequin|particular]] [[Exodite|breed]] [[Eldar Corsairs|of]] [[Eldar|Space]] [[Dark Eldar|Elf]], [[Ork]], [[Necron]], [[Tyranid|space bug]] or whoever was stupid enough to question Mankind's right to rule the stars with their existence that day, up to and including [https://youtube/nb6cSEI1FLk?t=471 gods]. They're helped by often being the most well-equipped and hardest motherfuckers in the squad.

The fifth and often forgotten part that is only lightly touched in BL books is interaction with civilians of the Imperium. To your regular Imperial citizen, a Commissar is both a terrifying and inspiring figure instantly recognized by their longcoat and peaked cap that are widely used in propaganda. Who do you think a governor is more likely to listen to: some [[Attilan_Rough_Riders|Mongolian guy who doesn't even know how fire a Lasgun]] even if he's thrice the colonel, or the same guy backed by a living instrument of the Emperor's Will straight out of a recruitment poster? Moreover, if some harm comes to a civilian through an unlawful action of a Guardsmen, the possibility of the Commissar looking the other way due to a misplaced sense of comradery is basically nonexistent, as opposed to, say, an [[Savlar_Chem_Dogs|Savlar]], [[Catachan_Jungle_Fighters|Catachan]] or [[Scintillan_Fusiliers|Scintillan]] officer. That, of course, doesn't mean the Commissar won't put a bullet through the head of a civilian should the need arises.

Further, the Imperium regards its forces as higher authorities than any mere planetary power. A Commissar is a fully credentialed representative of the Adeptus Administratum, as Cain once illustrated. With the support of a Commissar, even the lowliest Imperial Guard officer can impose martial law and overrule a planetary governor as if they were a member of the Adeptus Arbites.

Last but not least, the Commissars are also trained to look out for xenos or chaotic taint. Not all enemies of the Imperium [[Ork|conveniently charge at the Guard straight on]] but use much more insidious methods. So the Commissars are taught a little bit (just what is needed) about Chaos, [[Genestealer Cult|Genestealers]], Enslavers and all those kind of joyful things that could fuck over their regiment and how to look out for it, with the strict instruction to {{Blam}} anything they find out on sight. Any [[psyker]] in their regiment will be under their constant scrutiny because where Average Joe just has a vague knowledge he should 'abhor the witch', the Commissar know what would happen if he would get [[Daemonhost|possessed]]. Better safe than sorry.

With the above in mind, you easily understand why Commissars are generally at best tolerated and often hated with a passion by the men under their care. They are hard and pitiless men, but that is a sad necessity in the [[grimdark|just as hard and pitiless 40k universe where the alternative is even worse]]. It should also be noted, that not all Commissars are trigger-happy fucknuts. The intelligent ones that live long lives learn that the right words can often inspire men just as well, if not better, than a bolt to the head. These Commissars learn to tell the difference in situations. After all, the Commissars first job is to inspire the troops, through whichever means are most appropriate. Of course, the trigger-happy fucknuts do tend to spoil the bunch for the good ones. Also, did you know there's an [[Terrax Guard|entire Regiment of Commissars]]? Yeah, pretty sca-{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* AWESOME'''}}

==Choices of equipment==
*Badass longcoat, badass sash and even more badass peaked cap that takes design cues from both the Germans and Russians.
*Mars-Pattern ceramite balls
*[[Flak Armour]]- Standard guardsman issue Commissar armoured underwear.
*[[Carapace Armor]] & Refractor field- A better armour and a force field for genre-savvy Lord Commissar.
*Camo-cloak. Serves to hide said badass garments and get less fire from the enemy and guardsmen.
*Special Mask for a Lord that weeps tears of blood near traitors! Oh and scares people. Also gives a force field.
*(Other) Special Mask for Commissars lucky enough to get the Death Korps of Krieg (easiest gig in the guard cuz Kriegers commissar themselves) -Alternatively may result in getting {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}ed by a Krieger for cowardice.

*[[Basic Close Combat Weapons#Sword|Saber]]- Often carried to swing towards enemies while riding a Leman Russ tank so that he could drive closer and hit enemies with his sword.
**[[Chainsword]]- For a sword that's actually useful more often than not.
**[[Power sword|Power sword]] or [[Power Axe|power axe]]- For slaying armoured enemies and hassle-free decapitations.
**[[Powerfist]]- For punching through enemy [[METAL_BOXES|Metal Bawkses]].
**[[Chain Weapon#Axe-Rake|Axe-Rake]]- If you're a Commissar from Vervun Hive City, this is your standard choppy weapon. Very versatile for all sorts of things.

*[[Laspistol]]- Clean, precise, and efficient working tool of the Commissar that doesn't waste ammunition. Less satisfying to execute people with though. The Imperial Infantryman’s Uplifting Primer recommend it however as the laser beam will cauterize the wound it makes, keeping your uniform spring clean despite your executions. This is noted to be the favored pistol of choice for the vast majority of commissar's featured in the Dawn of War series.
*[[Bolt Pistol]]- Produces very satisfying {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}ming sound that raises self-esteem of the worthless ponce hold-{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}, can also get through standard issue Imperial flak armor if you need to blam someone in the chest on the battle field.
*[[Imperial Boltgun]]- Good for shooting underarmoured enemies and your entire squad if you suspect them all of {{BLAM|HERESY}}.
*[[Plasma Pistol|Plasma pistol]]- Good for shooting armoured enemies dead, and executing cowardly tanks. Bad for summary executions since it's poor form for it to over heat when trying to "inspire" your squad. Notably a better choice in fluff than on the table top since as an officer a Commissar could better take care of such an ornery and delicate piece of equipment thus preventing overheats, excepting cases of over use. So it's not a tool to blam a squad with, but if you need to do just one it rivals a bolt pistol for impact.
*[[Bale Eye|Baleful Eye]]- [[Commissar Yarrick|Lasgun built in the eye socket to kill Orks with a glare]].
*Grenades & bombs.
*Titanium balls.
*Two pairs of balls, (see above)

==Reasonable Commissars==
Reasonable Commissars do not execute those who flee. However, they do carry a potent stun-gun to bring down those who break ranks and save the bolter shells for those who have willingly became servants of Chaos or Xenos. Afterwards, the accused is brought before a military tribunal to judge what the appropriate punishment will be. Reasonably Hard Labor is a common punishment. If a not-so-reasonable Commissar is present the punishment is invariably a {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ing. The bast- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}

Reasonable Commissars can often be found in units operating alongside [[Reasonable Marines]].

Reasonable Commissars understand their duty is to instill courage within the Imperial Guard, not to instill discord and discontent. Thus they lead by example and be the first to die and last to retreat.

Reasonable Commissars only exist because there are Commissars who are *ahem* ''dicks''...such as Commissar Jericho of the 8th Cadian [[Whiteshield]] division:

{{topquote|Lil' Timmy: "Commissar? My helmet won't fit. Can you please help me fasten it?"<br>Jericho: "IF YOU CANNOT FASTEN YOUR OWN HELMET, YOU'RE AN INEFFECTIVE SOLDIER! AN INEFFECTIVE SOLDIER IS THE SAME AS A HERETIC IN MY BOOK! SUMMARY EXECUTION FOR YOU!" {{BLAM}}<br>"SO. ANY OF YOU OTHER CHILDREN WANT HELP WITH SOMETHING? WHAT ABOUT YOU, OLIVER? DO YOU STILL WANT MORE PORRIDGE? OH WAIT, YOU'RE DEAD! HAH! GET BACK TO FIGHTING YOU LITTLE PIECES OF SLIME!|From the records of Inquisitor Murtho}}

To some extent, they do actually exist in Warhammer canon, with [[Ciaphas Cain]] ('''HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!!!''') and [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt|Ibram Gaunt]] being the most iconic examples, the fact that they became tremendously famous (OK, Gaunt - not so much) and idolized is implied to have led to many newer Commissars using their less trigger happy and more reasonable methods. Proof that sometimes, you can make a positive difference in Warhammer.

The Cain novels also establish that much of what a Commissar does is done behind a desk, looking through paperwork and reports and dealing with issues as they arise. If you are not in an immediate life and death situation and the issue effecting morale pertains to problems with the barracks which could be resolved by pulling some strings with the supply department and locals, that's a better option than the Boltgun.

It could be argued that all Commissars are reasonable as most don't hold malicious intent when killing their own, or don't kill their own unless in extreme (Read: Chaos) circumstances, since most of the time shooting your own men can be counterproductive when they're light infantry fleeing from a Super heavy tank. Or if they, you know, have orders to pull back. Obviously they are evil fucks for killing their own men but usually it is done because it has to be done. Rules are rules, heresy is heresy, and Commissars have to show some authority. Not saying that they are necessarily nice guys but no Commissar ever sleeps well at night, except Gaunt, he was pretty fucking cool!

==Female Commissars==
A female Commissar is a rare sight, except by the Vostroyans, otherwise, there is little to no representation in the fluff. This is because combat talented fanatical women (as opposed to those female progena with other talents) in the [[Schola Progenium]] are far more likely to end up in the [[Adepta Sororitas]] (because the limitations set after [[Goge Vandire|Goge Vandire]] had to go fuck everything up, so the Ecclesiarchy needs all they can get). However, there have been all-female regiments of guardswomen, and they only had female Commissars.

In the recent [[Lemartes]] novel, there is a female Commissar Stromberg attached to the [[Mordian Iron Guard]]--she died like she lived, making an infantry charge against motherfucking [[Skarbrand]] of all things before being ripped into 3 bits with one axe swing, thus buying enough time for the Blood Angels to regroup and therefore get all the glory of banishing the Daemon. Typical.

[[Commissar Raege]] is one of the rare cases of a woman that became a Commissar.

As of late 2018-2019, Games Workshop has put out a series of novels about a female Commissar called Severina Raine. They've also released a really nice model for her (which is horribly overpriced in cash - she costs nearly twice as much as the most expensive Commissar models, and has fairly lame rules). They've also hyped her as a fan favorite despite being a newcomer which reeks of [[Games Workshop#/tg/ Analysis of Games Workshop|corporate greed]], [[SJW|or worse]]; since Raine got a model while long-time fan-favorite [[Ciaphas Cain|Cain]] hasn't even got a model yet <s>(unlike Cain, Gaunt and his Ghosts at least had metal minis made of them years ago)</s>Gaunts Ghosts recently got new plastic minis which are, sadly, also horribly overpriced as well, with Gaunt and a handful of the notable characters running over double the cost of a regular guardsman squad. She has now been removed from play.

==Commissar in Squat Regiments==
It was considered a common occurrence for a Commissar to be grouped with a [[Squat]] regiment when they were still relevant in 40k lore. However unlike in the Guard, the Commissars being stationed with the stunties act as advisers rather than a force of morale. This is mainly done to keep an eye on the Squats. Of course a Commissar is forbidden in {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''ing}} a Squat since while he has a Bolt/Laspistol, your basic [[Squat Trooper]] has [[Plasma Gun]]s, [[Conversion Beamer]]s and captured [[Eldar]] [[D-Cannon]]s as their flashlight equivalent. So if the Commissar is a idiotic prick and thinks he/she has near impunity with the Squats he is stationed with, they will soon find themselves face-kissing the barrel of a Squat [[Meltagun|Melta Gun]].

Yeah, the Space Dorfs did not fuck around back in the day. Commissars act not only as advisers but also supporting leaders. But their leadership is often ineffectual when compared to that of [[Squat Warlord]], [[Guildmaster]] or heck, even a [[Living Ancestor]].

==Traitor Commissars==
''For more info, see here: [[Renegade Enforcer]]''

==What not to do around a Commissar==

[[Image:Commissar_NO.jpg|thumb|200px|right|If you have to ask...]]
Unless you have a death wish (since you're drafted into the Guard, we already KNOW you have a death wish) these are the things you should avoid doing around your Commissar unless you want to be shot for a number of reasons:

*Do not retreat until he says so.
*Do not look like you will retreat before he says so.
*Do not think about retreating before he says so.
*Do not think about thinking of retreating before he says so.
*Do not retreat even WHEN he says so.
*Do not refuse to retreat when he says so because you will later be shot for insubordination.
*Do not be incompetent in battle, he'll execute you for being useless.
*Do not move too far away from a Commissar attached to your squad, he might think you are retreating without his command.
*Do not fap to the women that are [[Shlicktau|xenos]], [[Cultist-chan|heretics]], or [[Furry|mutants]] while in the field of battle... or outside.
*Do not fap to [[-4_Str|human women]] either, he'll execute you for dereliction of duty. Also, Slaanesh worship.
*Do not fap '''AT ALL''' Because it is heresy. No! Fap to the Corpse-Empero- wait, I kinda gave that away, didn't- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!!}}
*Do not mock anyone in the upper command structure, social status and organizations. It's the same as treason and treason, kids, is [[HERESY]].
*Do not look at your Commissar with a [[grimdark]] look, he'll assume you want to kill him. Unless you're a Catachan. He doesn't need to see the look to know you want to kill him.
*Do not pretend to listen to your Commissar.
*Do not pretend to pretend to listen to your Commissar.
*Do not interrupt him while speaking, he'll execute you for the insubordination.
*Do not change your underwear. Tzeentch worship.
*Do not neglect to change your underwear. Nurgle worship.
*Do not bring up the paradox of changing underwear. Malal worship. (There is no paradox as long as you follow the correct procedure. First remove and burn the tainted garment while reciting the litany of blessed hygiene. Instead of "Changing" your underwear, proceed to replace the purged garments with identical standard pattern guard issued underwater.)
*Do not worship the [[Chaos|ruinous powers]], even if your Commissar is-{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Commissars are loyal servants of the Emperor!}}
*Do not look like you are worshipping the ruinous powers.
*Do not think about worshipping the ruinous powers.
*Do not think about thinking about worshipping the ruinous powers.
*Do not think '''AT ALL''' or he'll think you are thinking about worshiping the ruinous powers.
*Do not find out about the Ruinous Powers. Best you can hope for is being sterilised and mind-wiped.
*Do not fall ill. Nurgle worship.
*Do not fall seriously ill. Serious Nurgle worship.
*Do not think about getting ill. More Nurgle worship.
*Do not think abou- To Hell with this, you are already thinking about getting ill! {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
*Do not watch "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", that is both Tzeentch and Slaanesh worship. (and if the excessive cuteness makes you sick than it's also Nurgle Worship, and if the associations with Chaos or furries makes you overly angry <s>that's Khorne worship.</s> {{BLAM}} {{BLAM|Righteous fury at the foes of the Emperor does not feed the Ruinous Powers!}})
*Do not openly question his orders.
*Do not question his orders behind his back either.
*Do not suggest your orders are suicidal.
*Do not suggest that said "''suicidal''" Commissar should join the enemy, if he is able to kill his squad so quickly.
*Do not suggest anything, lest he take it for Heresy.
*Do not mention that the Ministorum Priests are better motivators. {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Insubordination!}}
*Do NOT interrupt him while attempting to execute someone <s>unless you have a pretty good reason</s> as he'll execute you along with the one about to be executed.
*DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES challenge him or her in a western shootout. Why? Because they'll {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} kill you all in LESS than a splitsecond, now get back to the front, or you'll join him.
*DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES give your Commissar a new bolt pistol for his birthday. Just think of how fast he can {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} your squad if he goes Akimbo...
*Do not ask a Commissar for a bullet in the head. He ''will'' have you flogged for cowardice.
*Do not ask a Commissar for a flogging. He '''''WILL''''' have you shot in the spine for being a Slaaneshi Cultist. Not that that's a bad thing, being a Sla-{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}}
*Do not, in any way, shape, or form, give a zealous Commissar an Assault Cannon. You will have no unit.
*Do not, under any circumstances, give a zealous Commissar a Deathstrike Missile Launcher. You ''will'' have no army.
*Do not give a zealous Commissar a spacecraft. You will have [[Exterminatus|lost a planet]].
*Do not give a Commissar a cookie. You chaos worshipping freak.
**A: He'll think you are trying to poison him.
**B: He'll think you're trying to bribe him.
**And yes, death is the sentence.
*Do not be bald, then you are a Genestealer.
*Do not be balding, then you are becoming a Genestealer.
*Do not think about balding, then you are thinking about becoming a Genestealer.
*Do not think about thinking about balding, you don't wanna become a Genestealer.
*Do not add to this list, or else he will have you shot for insubordination. He- Yes, Sir!... No, sir... Sir? {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}}
*Do not use an axe as a last-ditch weapon. Khornate behaviour. Only acceptable if having said "For the Emperor!" and dying soon afterwards for the Imperium.
*Do not eat your rations in a particularly vigorous manner. Khorne worship.
*Any alteration of the standard uniform shall not be tolerated. Tzeentch worship.
*Growing facial hair in the pres- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}. More Tzeentch worship.
*Do not cut yourself while shaving your facial hair. More Khorne worship.
*Surviving a life threatening injury at the hands of the enemy. Serious Tzeentch worship.
*Do not bring prostitutes to the base while your unit is on leave. Slaanesh worship (and just plain improper behavior).
*Waking up lat- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}. {{BLAM|Cowardice.}}
*Do not deface or lose your Imperial Infantrymen's Uplifting Primer. (even though any veteran guardsman will tell you most of pages are complete bullsh- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}})
*Calling your self a member of the "Astra Militarum" {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY! We are and always have been the Imperial Guard: Hammer of the Emperor!}}
*Do not lose your issued Lasgun. Unless it's loss is unavoidable in{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} {{BLAM|A proper Guardsman would never lose his Lasgun.}}
*Do not remind him that technically Commissars are outside the chain of command and cannot order you. So next time a fraking com- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''. Cursing Commissars is HERESY!!!}}
*Do not steal from a Commissar. Commissars are possessive, very possessive.
**Whatever else you do, Never Ever EVER steal a Commissar's hat.
*Do not make Hitler jokes, Stalin jokes, or any political jokes around a commissar. They might assume the joke is a hateful metaphor for the God-Emperor.
*Speaking of which, do not make fun of the God-Emperor.
*Never salute the anthem or flag of a state other than that of the God-Emperor. To do so is treason and thus heresy.
*Do not email him your [[Promotions|porn]]. Slaanesh worship (also WTF man).
*Do not let him catch you playing [[Ironclaw]]. Granted Ironclaw has a lot of hot vixien chicks, but still- {{BLAM}}
*Do NOT let him catch you playing [[Magic the Gathering|Magic: the gathering]], Magic is heresy.
* Don't let him catch you playing [[Dungeons & Dragons|Dungeons and dragons]], (Unless you offer for him to be the [[DM]])

==What to do around a Commissar==
[[File:Oh Lawd.png|150px|right|thumb|Nothing escapes the vigilant eye of a Commissar (except everything)]]
*Worship the Emperor
*Talk fairly loudly about how the chaos gods suck.
*Make sure all your gear is organized, cleaned, maintained, and free of non-standard issue modifications.
*Charge towards Khorne Berserkers even if you don't want to.
*Compliment his marksmanship skills.
*Have your uplifting primer on your person. Failure to present it on request will result in {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}.
*When the rest of your squad looks like they are gonna fall back, step away from the Commissar's general direction as he might choose not to execute you to make an example for the rest of the men.
*When the rest of your squad looks like they are gonna fall back, step towards the Commissar's general direction as he might choose to execute you to make an example for the rest of the men.
*When you are about to do something that can only be described as batshit insane and a Commissar's around suggest it to him, if you survive said suicide mission he'll probably favor you a bit, which probably means that he MIGHT actually think about who's he shooting at.
*If you're the guy at the wheel of a transport, DRIVE HIM CLOSER! HE WANTS TO HIT THE ENEMIES OF THE EMPRAH WITH HIS SWORD!
*Pee on Dead Orks.
*Learn to anticipate their desires and fulfill them before they ask.
*If your Commissar has a bolt pistol make sure there that when he starts {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'ing'''}} that there are 10 people closer to the Commissar than you. That way after he's done blaming the rest of your platoon he might think you 'suitably inspired' so as to not blam you.
*Be born on [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|Catachan]], your divisions are "cursed" with "unfortunate accidents".
*Be a member of the Karauvan Conservators. Vance Motherfucking Stubbs loves his motherfucking men. Also because no Commissar wants to {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} people who can {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} a Living Saint to death with flashlights.
*Instead of ''DYING'', try to acquire the Enemy's head. Minor kudos for a Grunt, some kudos for an NCO Equivalent, and perhaps at least a bit of respect from the Commissar him/herself for an enemy Commander, or said Commander's Lieutenants.

==Notable Commissars==
*[[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt]]
*[[Commissar Yarrick]] <span style='color:green;font-size:115%'> DA ORKIEST HUMIE EVAH!!</span>
*Commissar [[Ciaphas Cain]] '''HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!!!!!''' Secretly believes himself to be a coward. The truth of that is up for debate.
*Commissar [[Severina Raine]]: the main character of the short story ''''Execution''' and the novel '''Honor Bound''' by Rachel Harrison, Severina is the rare female Commissar who has managed to get her own (limited-run and therefore overpriced) figure and rules.
*Commissar-General Delane Oktar: Ibram Gaunt's mentor and substitute father-figure. He should have died better.
*[[Commissar Fuklaw]] is tired of putting up with your heretical bullshit.
*[[Commissar Dan]]: A /tg/-created character from the days of yore (along with Fuklaw and the [[Angry Marines]]) that got somewhat canon-ised by Fantasy Flight Games. Likes to order charges from atop his [[Basilisk Artillery Gun|Basilisk]] ''Fluffy''. According to FFG, his full name is Daniel Sterne and he met his end while attempting to ram a [[Helbrute]] with ''Fluffy'' when the damn thing came too close.
*[[Commissar Koulick Krieg]] attached to the famed storm trooper regiment known as the Redemption Corps and an agent for the Adeptus Ministorum. Never officially trained as a Commissar, but field promoted from storm trooper on behalf of the Ecclesiarchy to infiltrate the "heretical" regiment that was the free thinking Redemption Corps, eventually turning on his masters and becoming a full part of the Corps instead.
*[[Heretical Love|Commissar Max]] the Lovemachine of Yagis V. (It should be noted that he was actually a guardsman who picked up Commissar regalia and weapons.)
*[[K59|Commissar K59]]
*[[Holt]] {{BLAM|'''*SLAP*''' Commissar Holt!!!}}
*[[Commissar Raege]]
*<strike>[[Kharn|Kharn]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRVcdLPqoHg| The Commissar]</strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Major Khorne worship!}}
*[[Colonel Greiss]] Formerly a Commissar; became a conventional officer through necessity.
* [[Commissar Lord Bernn|Commissar LORD Bernn]] (always put LORD in ALL CAPS -bold is optional-, not doing so is Heresy.) Known for making entire armies completely invincible as long as he has people to execute and beating Mega-Daemon Princes, Hive Tyrants, Land Raider Redeemers, Battlewagons, Deranged Khornate Chaos Champions (if you're so far off your rocker that other Khornates think you're crazy, you may be a wee bit nutters), and Eldar wraithlords to death with a power fist. Also notable for being able to one-shot any infantry, from lowly Ork boyz to TERMINATORS with his laspistol. He needs no words to show he's a badass.
*'''Commissar "Colonel" Schaeffer''' The commanding officer of the 13th Penal Legion "[[The Last Chancers|Last Chancers]]", he had his arm shot off by a plasma gun '''AND GREW IT BACK''', had his spine rebuilt after being crushed by a tank and made a full recovery, had his eyes replaced after his other ones were destroyed and has survived throwing himself into suicide mission after suicide mission (seriously, most people would rather just take the summary execution than go with him) for over 300 years '''LIKE A BOSS''', he gets down and dirty and is usually seen in front of his men in the battle rather than behind them. He's still brutal as fuck to deserters though. *why doesn't he have his own pag- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
* '''Commissar Jaes "Jellyfish" Quallen'''. Fragile, stuttering, clumsy, prone to disease, about as intimidating as a wet kitten. His enlistment was a cruel wager between two of his rich aunts to see if he would survive. He barely made his commission as Commissar, and he was discarded to the Catachan 217th infantry to get rid of him. And yet he's still alive today. What's more, he leads his men from the very front, utterly fearless when the jagged teeth of Chaos spawn ('''OH GOD NOOOOOOAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH!!! GRRAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!''' {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Mercy killing; continue.}}) are inches from his face, humming to himself in the middle of the shitstorm that is every battlefield. Atypical for a Catachan company, his men are quite loyal to him, well-liked for leading by example instead of inspiring fear behind the lines ... although they do tease him off-duty by playing keepaway with his hat.
*'''Commissar Viktor Hark''' - The Commissar for the Tanith First (and Only). Pretty bad ass dude with a cybernetic arm to beat heretics and a plasma pistol to melt faces with. Pretty reasonable for a Commissar, preferring {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} only when it can have the most effect on a units morale, which in some cases means {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}ming the guy in charge.
*'''Commissar Flint''' was abruptly reassigned to the reconstituted 77th Vostroyan Firstborn Dragoons, whose first mission was to quell a bloody rebel uprising at a penal facility on Furia Penitens. Leading a picked team of escaped convicts and Firstborn, Flint infiltrated the vast creepy facility, wrecking Stalkers, slaying giant mutants with his power sword and slaughtering literal rebel scum by the dozens, all while keeping his execution-count impressively low and displaying many feats of epic badassery. Not bad for a Commissar who gets his own book who isn't Gaunt or Cain.
*'''Commissar Fenstrum Holt''': A supporting character in the ongoing '''Eagle Ordinary''' [http://www.eagleordinary.com/chapters/77723/planetfall/]webcomic. NOT to be confused with (though he constantly is, even by his own junior, Commissar Talon Gunner) that ''other'' Holt *SLAP* [[Commissar Holt]]. '''This''' Holt is an elderly badass with a creepy bionic eye who manages to beat up trigger-happy aristocratic officers despite being only 5'6. Although introduced in the comic's first page engaging in the Commissariat's trademark pastime {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*-ming'''}} Guardsmen, his character is so well-written and drawn he might just be the fan favorite. Might just be the only adult in the whole comic as well.
*'''Commissar Daridh Ahl Karif''' : Commissar of the Fifth Company, 68th Vostroyan Regiment, one of the main character in the ''Rebel Winter'' novel. One of the few Reasonable Commissars in 40k. An unnaturally caring, nice, level-headed Commissar but also sternly ruthless when the situation demands it. Got posted down to a company-level commission in a pretty much worthless campaign for rejecting a Lord General's sons love (no, seriously), leading to the rejected dude committing suicide. Currently serves as part of an Inquisitorial retinue.
*'''Commissar Vaynom Blenner''' - A Commissar attached to the Tanith First (and Only). Basically the shit drug addict version of Ciaphas Cain.

==Commissar Mortality==
Commissars, at least those attached to an Imperial guard regiment, do not exactly have a high life expectancy. Next to the many horrible fates that await your average "balls of steel" Guardsman in the [[grimdark]] WH40K universe, the Commissars have some additional aggravating factors leading to a quick demise.

Some reasons:
* A Commissar's uniform is very different from those he is working with, add to that he is shouting things at people and possibly {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ming them, probably without fire being returned at him, and is probably carrying different weapons than those around him. It doesn't take a genius to figure out he is an obvious High-Value Target which any sniper worth the name would take note of.
* Aforementioned uniform offers little to no head protection, head protection is for cowards and cowards get {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-med. (However, a Commissar's lack of headgear can get him {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-med by the enemy).(subverted for death korps as they have helmets under their hats)
* {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ming cowards, and especially {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ming non-cowards, often has a side effect of *accidentally* getting shot, repeatedly, sometimes even far from the front lines. This fate is particularly common for those attached to [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|Catachan]] units.
* Even when not getting *accidentally* shot/dropped in a pit/run over/... by his own troops, few Guardsmen will risk their lives to save a Commissar should he get into trouble with the enemy.
* Some Commissars both lead by example and expect their men to perform acts of suicidal courage, resulting in performing collective suicide in the name of the Emprah.
* Lots of Commissars like big flashy bolt pistols. Bolt pistols, [[Dakka|being roight flashy bitz of dakka]], naturally attract orks like sugar water attracts flies, and unlike laspistols eventually run out of bolts.
* According to their most recent models some unusually ballsy Commissars carry plasma pistols, and as such possess a statistical lifespan of six shots at maximum.

It should be noted that regimental standards vary:<br>
- Kriegers will leave a Commissar a wreck because they have to keep convincing the men that while it's laudable to die for the Emperor you have to do so while trying to kill His enemies. It's like herding sheep: if you keep your eye off of one for too long it'll be gone. Except this sheep wears a gas mask, digs a trench, bombards the enemy with mortar fire, then goes over the top and gets gunned down without achieving anything. Oh, and there's millions more like it. And Emprah help you if they think you’re a heretic.<br>

- Serving with the Tallarn regiments that there will be sand EVERYWHERE. There's so much fucking sand everywhere. I mean, how did it even get there? Not to mention that you'll want to wear one of their turbans to protect your head against the heat, but you can't wear your cap alongside one of those things. And many a Commissar has suffered from dehydration following being told exactly what most of the regiment's water is distilled from.<br>

- The Mordians employ the strictest of discipline and expect a Commissar to lead by example. When they inevitably mess up the Commissar is subjected to physical disciplinary actions, up to and including being flogged or even executed by the platoon.<br>

- The Vostroyans are ABSOLUTE MADMEN and expect the Commissar to lead by examples of balls-out insanity and win the day, but they have trouble following the orders of a man who has no imposing facial hair. If a Commissar's lucky he'll be approached by one of the regiment's senior female officers who offers him one of her glue-on mustaches to spare him the indignity.<br>

- Scintillans show utter disdain for the Commissar because of his poor breeding and low social standing (word has it the Commissar is an orphan, for the Emperor's sake!) and will have their authority undermined by even the lowest of privates and when trouble arises a senior officer steps in and takes the offending soldier away, but punishment following this is rare.<br>

- Praetorians are fine enough soldiers, but their culture is very strange and requires unusual degrees of politeness from both officers and the rank-and-file. Not following these labyrinthian rules will be sternly frowned upon. And their officers will never, ever duck even when taking direct fire.<br>

- Drookians openly hate the Commissar's guts for being an outsider and a nancy for wearing pants instead of a kilt, but a clever Commissar will figure out that if he manages to convince the platoon that the enemy has slighted the Drookians' clan honor all he needs to do is step aside and watch the men fuck the enemy up.<br>

- Brontians solve most of their internal struggles with knife fights, and the unfortunate Commissar who steps in to try and stop such a duel will quickly catch one, two, three or thirteen knives to the chest. The Brontians don't like them anyway due to their lack of scars.<br>

- Attilans laugh their asses of when the Commissar tries to ride a horse and keep falling off, and the platoon just rides ahead of him leaving the unfortunate Commissar in the dust.<br>

- The Steel Legions are almost entirely mechanized, so a Commissar has to hang out with the same squad all the time. And he better be able to keep up when redeploying: miss the Chimera and it ain't coming back for you. Plus, nobody respects you because you're not Yarrick.<br>

- With the Valhallans you constantly have to convince the commanders that yes, while it would result in a technical victory if you sacrifice a million men for that small amount of ground, it'd be better to have them attack in a different way to win slower but with fewer losses because the enemy is statistically a mundane rebellion or Orks and thus don't need to be urgently stopped to prevent a Chaos ritual of other psychic nonsense from going off and allowing the Guard to send the men to the planet 23 light years over that needs reinforcements. And they'll hate you for this.<br>

- The Chem Dogs will hate the Commissar because people like him put them there, and will try to rob him blind without being found out.<br>

- Elysian, Harakoni and Phantine Skyborne regiments have a high Commissar mortality rate because they're not very well trained in the use of grav-chutes. And with those things, you'll make a mistake only once. Drop regiments in general have high mortality, so successfully landing is not much of an achievement either. <br>

- With the Phantine Air Corps it's hard to say. On the one hand they are a guard regiment and not a navy unit, so Commissars come standard. What they do is trickier to say since they can't fly and even on bombers it's hard to justify attaching a spare person just to shoot one of the valuable air crew if they start to turn around, which if our own history of strategic bombing holds true, does not really happen, plus it would be a stupid waste to get a bomber formation shot down because unlike the men they are actually worth something to the Munitorum. Commissars therefore likely just sit around not doing much other then paper work and watching the pilots like a hawk when ever they are on the ground, thus proving that even in the 41st millennium the chair force meme still exists.

- Kanak Skull Takers will hate the Commissar because he prevents them from taking skulls, and they do so anyway. If he becomes forceful about it they'll take a skull with a fancy hat.<br>

- Naval Commissars are the first targets when a mutiny occurs/the ship gets boarded. Otherwise, you aren't likely to survive a voidship becoming combat ineffective if not straight up losing life support/about half the bulkheads/the reactor/the engines/the magazine and Emperor forbid the Warp Drive or the Gellar Field Generator.

-.....Then there is the Catachans. To say that the Rambos in Spehss merely dislike Commissars would be like saying [[Matthew Ward|Matt Ward]] merely sugar coated the Ultrasmurfs.

==Quotes==

* "Fear me...'''''but follow!'''''"
* "You can give the Emperor your loyalty, or I can take it from your corpse."
* "You DARE shoot at me?...{{BLAM|'''AT ME?!'''}}"
* "What I cannot crush with words, I shall crush with the tanks of the Imperial Guard."
* "Fear ensures loyalty! Where do you need me?"
* "Trooper, the enemy ''may'' kill you, but if you try to run I '''will''' kill you!"
* {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
*"It is our duty to muster the Guardsmen's courage and loyalty under fire and it is our duty to - '''GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!'''"{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
*"WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO DIE?! 'CAUSE I SURE AS HELL DIDN'T!"
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrrCY7dgaqs Drive me closer, I want to hit them with my sword!]
* "Follow my example or I will MAKE YOU ONE!"
* A compilation of some -if not all- of the Dow II Commissar quotes that can be found [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isLz_8ppLig here].
* <s>Heil Hitler!</s> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* HERESY!!!'''}} Heil Emperor!
* "If you will not serve in combat, ''then you will serve '''on the firing line!'''''" {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
* "On charges of cowardice, ''you are sentenced to '''death!'''''" {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
* "{{BLAM|'''I WILL HAVE SOMEONE'S HEAD FOR THIS!'''}}"
* "SHUT UP ZATHRAS"
* "GLORY FOR THE FIRST MAN TO DIE! CHAAARGE!"
* "DO NOT FAIL UPON MY RETURN!"

==TLDR==
How many Guardsmen were Executed writing this article? (Fifty four)

==See Also==
[[Lord Commissar]], what Commissars are promoted to. [[Consul-Opsequiari]], [[Space Marine Legions]] equivalent.

==External Links==
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRO9shJnXyc A Commissar showing some heretics why his sort are to be feared.]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Severina-Raine.jpg|Isn't she a beauty? Canon too!
Image:Commisarmoti.jpg|The real reason why Guardsmen do not revolt en masse.
Image:Closer.jpg|Commissars never let practicality get in the way of their awesomeness.
Image:Commissar Surfing.jpg|Again, practicality is never a hindrance.
Image:Comissar_Promotions.jpg|Imperial Guard Promotion policy, you either get promoted or {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-med, no exceptions.
Image:1230024061774.png|Reasonable Commissars know that summary execution is not always needed to motivate anyone.
Image:Thenewcommissar.jpg|[[Kharn]] during his traitor Commissar days with the Red Rivers traitor guardsmen.
Image:Romantic_Commissar.jpg|Commissars can be romantic. It's just that they are too busy {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ming Guardsmen.
Image:Penguin_Commisar.jpg|Do not underestimate the Commissar under any circumstances, no matter how cute he may be.
Image:Komissar_by_kriegsmachine14.jpg|Why so serious? Let's put a smile on that face...
Image:Commissarpoke.jpg|Don't let this one's slow demeanor make you too confident.
Image:1207335821953.jpg|[[Commissar Dan]] on the blaze of glory run
Image:Commissar-Fuck_Yeah.jpg|Imperial Guard, FUCK YEAH!
Image:Commissar_Badass.jpg|[[Ciaphas Cain|HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!]]
Image:Fixedhat2.jpg|The Commissar is here to ensure your loyalty.
Image:CommissarCos.jpg|{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
Image:Commissar Hansen.jpg|Guardian of all Imperial [[loli|lolis]].
Image:Emote-commissar.gif
Commie.PNG
</gallery></center>
{{Promotions}}
<center><gallery>
Image:Comissar-by-Chink-1.jpg|Chink loev Commissar
Image:Comissar-by-Chink-2.jpg|[[Rule 63]] spares no one.
Image:Yarrick_by_Chink_2.jpg
Image:Feb.jpg|Commissar from the ill-fated /tg/ calendar project
Image:Atra concept.jpg|Much Sexier Version
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|One of these is not like the others.
Image:1226746378911.jpg|Squad morale restored.
Image:powerfists_commissar.jpg|[https://wargameexclusive.com/shop/imperial-soldiers/imperial-female-commissar-with-fists-of-power-pin-up/ If you're wondering how she's "coping" with those things, don't ask us, for we have as good an idea as you do.]
Image:Lelith Hesperax Commissar.jpg|The Imperial Guard's latest morale boosting program was a glorious success.
</gallery></center>

==Navigation==
{{Template:Imperial-Guard}}
{{Militarum-Tempestus}}
{{Template:Squats}}

[[Category:Commissars]]

Flamer

2026-03-24T01:00:28Z

Archange1: Undo revision 1008423 by 192.42.116.179 (talk)

[[File:Lance Flamme.png|300px|thumb|right|I just want to start a flame in your heart.]]
{{topquote|Build a man a fire, you keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, you keep him warm for the rest of his life...|Terry Pratchett}}
{{topquote|Burn the heretic. Kill the mutant. Purge the unclean. And remember, your trusty Flamer can do all three.|Sergeant Tobe Kisubo}}

{{topquote|We didn't start the fire. It's been always burning, since the world's been turning.|Archdeacon Billy Joel of the Cult of the Emperor's Righteousness}}

The '''Flamer''' is a short-ranged support weapon employed in many different variations by nearly all of the races of the WH40K universe.

''For their more alchemical offspring, [[Alchem Weapons|see here:]]''

''For their real world equivelents, [[Incendiary Weapons|see here:]]''

==Overview==
The Flamer is any type of incendiary weapon that sprays an area with an extremely flammable liquid/gas known collectively as Prometheum, burning everything it sticks on. Note that the name is not a relation to the actual element Promethium, but likely a reference to the Greek [[Titan]] Prometheus. Of course, the Salamanders might have played a part to why the Imperium calls Flamer fuel "Promethium." Remember, the Salamanders erected their fortress-monastery over a moon called Prometheus. They might have been really good at making the fuel for Flamers. Now, apart from the varying degrees of burns you will receive when you are on the business end of one, your squad will not really be motivated when they see a giant wave of painful and slow death made of fire, which will then proceed to painfully and slowly kill them. In fact, it is a rather terrifying experience, and anyone short of a Space Marine or a particularly stubborn [[Commissar]] will probably bolt when they see a lot of 'em coming. Though, slow is relative and people generally die instantly when hit by one of these, or pass out from shock.

Armies field Flamers in different sizes (and possibly, shapes) ranging from pistol-sized flame units, regular rifle-sized units, to a big-ass Flamer capable of bathing entire platoons in fire with a single burst. Table-top wise, Flamers are special weapons that ignore cover bonuses and are extremely effective against infantry. They are very good against [[Tyranids]] due to their total lack of vehicles, so you can always have a chance at hurting most Tyranid units you shoot your fire at. Plus, it is great for killing all those pesky rippers. Flamers are also fairly effective against [[Orks]] as well, as they are awfully good at killing large blobs of infantry. In 8th edition, they can now damage vehicles with weight of fire and are one of the better tools for taking on fliers, funnily (''stupidly'') enough.

==Imperial Variations==
A cruel and painful weapon in its own right, this would not be [[40k]] if there weren't several variations of the flamer, each deadlier than the last.

===Incendiary Charge===
''For more information, see here: [[Grenades & Explosives#Incendiary Charge|Incendiary Charge]]''

===Infernus Firebomb Cluster===
''For more information, see here: [[Grenades & Explosives#Infernus Firebomb Cluster|Infernus Firebomb Cluster]]''

===Exterminator===
[[File:RedemptionistExterminator1.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Exterminator.]]
By definition, an Exterminator is a very small Flamer which is, in essence, a nozzle attached to a small canister holding enough fuel for a single decent shot before it has to be refilled.

The Exterminator is commonly fitted as an attachment to put a dash of extra heat complementing other proper weapons such as Lasguns, Boltguns, Shotguns, Autoguns, and even Eviscerator Chainswords found predominantly within Redemption Cults. There is a significant difference between this and [[Combi-weapon]]s. While the size of the Exterminator makes it a Hand Flamer, its power is no less to that of a regular-sized Flamer. The [[Combi-weapon#Combi-Flamer|Combi-Flamer]], as well, is a Bolter with a regular-sized Flamer welded on.

Combi-weapons are properly built or modified arms, permanently attached and robust like most Imperium tech, while Exterminators are assembled by Necromunda Gangs whose work do not exactly leave a good impression compared to the military-grade equipment we usually see. This vast gap in quality means an Exterminator on any weapon can and will eventually break down over a relatively short period of time, and needs to be disposed and replaced by another one of likely similar quality. In a nutshell, making an Exterminator can be compared to putting gasoline into a water gun and somehow attaching what can be considered a pilot light on it to light that gasoline up. Indeed, the Exterminator is not that much different in concept from '''[https://deadrising.fandom.com/wiki/Flamethrower_(Dead_Rising_2) this]'''.

The Exterminator is a weapon that just works if you somehow managed to make it so, but definitely not something anyone would rely on in prolonged combat – making a campfire, maybe.

Fun fact: Back in late 1944 when it became more and more apparent that Nazi Germany was losing the war, many new weapons, which were designed to be extremely cheap and mass-producible, were put into production in order to arm as many [[Planetary_Defense_Force|hastily-trained conscripts]] as possible. One of these weapons was the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Einstossflammenwerfer_46 Einstossflammenwerfer 46] (Single-Shot Flamethrower). And judging by descriptions seems almost identical to the Exterminator.
<center>
{|class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="background: white;"
|+ class="nowrap" style="white-space: nowrap"|'''Profile'''
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{|class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed wikitable" style="background: white;"
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|<gallery class="center">
RedemptionistExterminator2.jpg|<center>Redemptionist</center>
RedemptionistExterminator3.jpg|<center>Eviscerator Variant</center>
KlovisExterminator.jpg|<center>Klovis the Redeemer</center>
KlovisTheRedeemerPict.jpg|<center>With Fire</center><center>and Chainsword</center>
Catalogue_Exterminator.jpg|<span style='color:green;><center>'''''Posh Exterminator'''''</center>
</gallery>
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</center>

===Hand Flamer===
[[File:BAHandFlamer.jpg|right|thumb|200px|right|Hand Flamer]]
Also referred to as a '''''Burner''''', the Hand Flamer is a more compact, pistol version of a regular Flamer, requiring only one hand to fire in an efficient manner.

Primarily fired by the [[Sisters_of_Battle|Adepta Sororitas]], Hive Gangers, and the [[Inquisition]], this weapon is a pint-sized flamethrower that can be wielded in the manner of a pistol; we have to point it out just in case the piece you have recently acquired does not look like one. Along with a fuel tank of lower volumetric capacity, it has a much reduced effective range, which makes the Flamer of this size well-suited for close combat purposes where the lack of distance is not a problem, or at least you already have your solution to acquire intimate range such as a decent [[Jump Pack]].

Space Marines, particularly Blood Angels and their Successor Chapters, use the Ignis Pattern, which in the hands of regular Humans may possibly be considered a Flamer carbine of sort. Some [[Seraphim Squad|extremely unhinged individuals]] go as far as dual-wielding them for extra burny power and to look awesome. In fact, the Hand Flamers use by the Seraphims can release small controlled bursts of flame that use negligible amounts of Promethium. The weapon can be used both as a ranged weapon and a melee weapon by those who are properly trained. Another notorious formation that equips itself with Hand Flamers is the [[Destroyer_Squad#Ashen_Circle|Ashen Circle]] of the Word Bearers Legion. The Akkadic Pattern notably has a chainsaw grip, which makes it stand out in the Hand Flamer family where its other members we have seen so far all possess a pistol grip.

A notable solution to the low shot-per-canister ratio of the Hand Flamer may be found within the [[Solar Auxilia Flamer Section]], where the sergeant uses the same size of tank his squadmates use for their Flamers.
<center>
{|class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="background: white;"
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{|class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed wikitable" style="background: white;"
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|<gallery class="center">
HouseCawdorHandFlamer.jpg|<center>House Cawdor</center>
GoliathHandFlamer.jpg|<center>House Goliath</center>
EscherHandFlamer.jpg|<center>House Escher</center>
HybridMetamorphHandFlamer.jpg|<center>Genestealer Cult</center>
SolarAuxiliaHandFlamer.jpg|<center>Solar Auxilia</center>
SeraphimFlamer.jpg|<center>Seraphim Pattern</center>
IgnisFlamer.jpg|<center>Ignis Pattern</center>
DeathwatchHandFlamer.jpg|<center>Deathwatch</center>
MarkIIIHandFlamer.jpg|<center>Heresy Era (MKIII)</center>
MarkIVHandFlamer.jpg|<center>Heresy Era (MKIV)</center>
ReaverSquadFlamer.jpg|<center>Heresy Era</center>
AkkadicPatternHandFlamer.jpg|<center>Akkadic Pattern (Profile)</center>
AkkadicFlamer.jpg|<center>Akkadic Pattern (Model)</center>
BloodAngelsHandFlamer.jpg|<center>Ready to fire... Fire</center>
</gallery>
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{|class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed wikitable" style="background: white;"
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{{40k-Ranged-Weapon-Profile-7-8|r7=Template|s7=3|ap7=6|type7=Assault 1|r8=6"|s8=3|type8=Pistol D3|abil8=Automatically hits target.}}
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</center>

===Sulphur Breath===
[[File:SulphurBreath.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Sulphur Breath]]
There is a new Flamer good boy in town and it is coming in with ''style''.

The Sulphur Breath is a type of Flame Weapon mounted on everyone's favourite flame doggy and cybernetic mounts; the [[Serberys Sulphurhound|Serberys Sulphurhounds.]] The mounts are fed an unknown type of food in order to breathe fire, which, judging by its name, include an unhealthy amount of sulphur, the galaxy's hottest chilies, and prometheum.

The range of a Sulphur Breath is around that of a Hand Flamer. Do note that despite the size of the dog or the length of the dog's head, the weapon itself is not that long. So while it could gout out a torrent of fire, it ain't shooting far. The doggo can fire its weapon as long as it wants due to the heatshield surrounding its entire snout. It is currently unknown just how much fuel the Sulphurhound could carry in its stomach, moreover, it is unknown whether the Sulphurhound fires it on its own will or is controlled - whether manually or through wireless command - via the [[Skitarii]] riding it.

On tabletop, the Sulphurhound's flamerbreath is a cover ignoring, AP -1 D6 pistol flamer which ignores cover and obviously autohits. Combine with the Skitarii's arsenal of [[Phosphor Weaponry]] and a [[Power Weapon#Power Maul|Power Maul]] and the Sulphur Breath is going to make for some uncomfortable close combat.
{{clear}}

===Flamer===
[[File:Flamer.png|170px|right|thumb|Flamer]]
Normally with our flamethrowers, it might as well be a boring tube attached to a fuel tank. Here in 40K, like pretty much everything else, it looks way cooler.

The Flamer is a regular-sized flamethrower as described above, used by nearly everyone in the 41st millennium. In the case of the Imperium, there are loads and loads of different patterns of Flamers, all of which are suitable for your occasional pyromaniacs.

More fanatical adherents of the Imperial Creed employ Flamers against mutants and heretics as the weapon's flames are seen to cleanse sin and impurity from body and soul alike – Red Redemptionists and Cawdor Fanatics of Necromunda in particular prefer this weapon. As a purifying weapon, the Flamer has a prominent function among the Adepta Sororitas (''as expected''), and for a Sister to be entrusted with one is a great honor. The Salamanders (''again, as expected'') make wide use of Flamers as well as Melta weapons due to their preference for close-range combat along with their Promethean beliefs. The Catachan regiments of the Imperial Guard are often deployed to areas of heavy jungle, where enemies can make as much use of the ever present cover as the Catachans themselves, which is where Flamers come in to even the terrain a bit. Troops of the Adeptus Mechanicus use a more advanced version of the flamer known as the [[:File:CommissarCorgi.jpg|<strike>Pembroke Welsh</strike> Cognis]] Flamer. This weapon is equipped with a Machine Spirit that continues to fire the fire even when its wielder is distracted.

While most modern Flamers deployed by the Imperium possess the distinctive grille, older Heresy-era Flamers as well as those of Gangers and Genestealer Cults have the classic conical head.
<center>
{|class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="background: white;"
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|<gallery class="center">
RedemptionistFlamer.jpg|<center>Redemptionist</center>
EscherFlamer.jpg|<center>House Escher</center>
NeophyteHybridFlamer.jpg|<center>Genestealer Cult</center>
RogueTraderFlamerSketch.jpg|<center>Mezoa Pattern</center>
CadianFlamer.jpg|<center>Cadian</center>
CatachanFlamer.jpg|<center>Catachan</center>
AccatranFlamer.jpg|<center>Accatran Pattern</center><center>Mark Ic (Elysian)</center>
TempestusFlamer.jpg|<center>Tempestus Scion</center>
SolarAuxiliaFlamer.jpg|<center>Solar Auxilia</center>
SororitasFlamer.jpg|<center>Sister of Battle</center>
SilenceSisterFlamer.jpg|<center>Sister of Silence</center>
AstartesFlamer.jpg|<center>Space Marine</center>
BlackTemplarFlamer.jpg|<center>Black Templars</center>
TechmarineFlamer.jpg|<center>Techmarine</center>
ThunderfireTechmarine.jpg|<center>Techmarine (Thunderfire)</center>
DamnedLegionFlamer.jpg|<center>Damned Legionnaire</center>
PhaestosFlamerProfile.jpg|<center>Phaestos Pattern (Profile)</center>
MarkIVFlamer.jpg|<center>Phaestos Pattern (Model)</center>
KataphronFlamer.jpg|<center>Cognis Flamer</center>
</gallery>
|}
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{{40k-Ranged-Weapon-Profile-7-8|r7=Template|s7=4|ap7=5|type7=Assault 1|r8=8"|s8=4|type8=Assault D6|abil8=Automatically hits target.}}
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===Assault Flamer===
[[File:Salamander_Flamer Custom.png|200px|right|thumb|Assault Flamer (''Placeholder'')]]
Although the weapon here is likely a local pattern within Calixis Sector, we can probably derive the Assault Flamer in general as another type of Flamer.

The Mark VII "Salamander" in particular is a somewhat common Flamer variant made popular in the Calixis Sector’s Tranch War by possibly burning a lot of mutants. It uses a lighter fuel mixture at higher pressures, with inert propellant gas mixed in. This means it functions something like a real life gasoline-nitrogen flamethrower, using a higher viscosity fuel and pumping non-flammable gases into the fuel tanks as said fuel is discharged, this results in fuel being shot out at consistent high pressure, and that fuel burning up much faster, it also has the added benefit of making the fuel tanks less likely to explode. The firing barrel has a large, thin nozzle, resulting in a wider but less powerful spray of Promethium, which also translates to less range as you trade length for width with this Flamer here. Against lightly armoured foes like insurrectionists or Gretchin mobz, the weapon worked wonders, cutting (''burning'') down the creatures before they could overrun the defenders, or attackers. Assault Flamers use backpack-mounted fuel canisters instead of the usual magazine-mounted canister to lessen the weight of the gun itself and provide a more extensive fuel reserve – because you'll probably be burning a lot of things if you're gonna take it with you, and the last thing you'd want to happen is either run out of fuel, or your arms getting sleepy before finishing the grilling of xenos and heretics. They also fire in a 45-degree arc as opposed to the normal 30-degree arc for the usual Flamer weapons.

Another notable pattern is the Hades MkIII. The Hades-pattern features a long, narrow barrel and nozzle connected by a sturdy cable to a fuel canister worn on the user’s back. This design grants an increased fuel reserve, while keeping the weapon itself light. This makes the Hades a perfect choice for squads requiring high mobility. The Hades’ simple construction has earned it a reputation for both reliability and efficiency, and it is a favorite of many light infantry regiments that prefer the speed given by its construction rather than the universally-beneficial raw killing power.
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{|class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed wikitable" style="border: 1px solid black; background: white; text-align:center; display:inline-table;"
|+style="white-space: nowrap;" | Salamander Assault Flamer
|-
|'''Class'''
|'''Range'''
|'''RoF'''
|'''Dmg'''
|'''Pen'''
|'''Clip'''
|'''Rld'''
|'''Special'''
|'''Wt'''
|'''Availability'''
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| Basic
| 10m
| S/–/–
| 1d10 + 4E
| 1
| 12
| 3 Full
| Flame
| 6
| Scarce
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{|class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed wikitable" style="border: 1px solid black; background: white; text-align:center; display:inline-table;"
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| Basic
| 20m
| S/–/–
| 1d10 + 4E
| 2
| 10
| 2 Full
| Flame, Spray, Reliable
| 12
| Scarce
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===Immolation Rifle===
[[File:Imolation_Rifle.png|200px|right|thumb|Immolation Rifle (''Placeholder'')]]
Though probably neither a rifle and definitely nor a Flamer in the flame part, the Immolation Rifle is a Melta-like flamethrower, but technically isn't a Melta because there is no fusion reaction going on inside the weapon itself. Instead, it probably uses Promethium like every other Flamer out there, making this thing one as well. Confused yet?

Not a Flamer weapon in the strictest sense, the Immolation Rifle is an ancient, exceedingly rare, and barely understood weapon possessed by Watch Fortress Erioch in limited numbers – that is, the [[Deathwatch]]. It is a brutal anti-personnel weapon that fires a seething, short-range beam of intense heat. When used on lightly armoured or un-armoured targets, the beam sears and blisters exposed flesh. This causes a target intense pain and, with enough damage, these weapons can cook enemies alive. While they are incredibly lethal when used against organic foes, the beams for some reason cause no damage whatsoever to inorganic objects like machinery, bulkheads, and weapons; and that quality is the more blatant feature which differentiates this weapon from your common Melta. You may say that the Immolation Rifle is just hot enough to burn people and organic matter, and not enough to sear through heavy plating such as those of tanks and the like. This makes them extremely useful in boarding actions when you want the ship intact but not necessarily the hostile crew, as well as in any situation where collateral damage needs to be minimized. Accidents can happen in combat at any time, and accidentally burning off the floor right below you with your Meltagun is one of them.

While these weapons are technically Flamers, they are unable to set things on fire.
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| Basic
| 25m
| S/–/–
| 2d10 + 5E (Organic Only)
| 1
| 5
| Full
| Flame
| 5
| 15
| —
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===Balefire Gun===
[[File:Balefire_Flamethrower.JPG|200px|right|thumb|Balefire Gun (''Placeholder'')]]
The [[Deathwatch]] probably raided some Pre-Heresy Death Guard weapons cache at some point and found these hot ladies here.

Brutally effective against Orks and other annoying xenos that just won't die like the rest because of uncanny natural regeneration that Promethium fire cannot keep up with, the Balefire Gun uses highly refined Promethium fuel mixed with a number of radioactive compounds. This solves the conundrum by not just burning like most Flamers do, but irradiating the buggers as well so they can keep dying as they should be from being burned alive. It is rarely issued due to the obvious collateral damage involving radioactive decay it causes.

Imperial environmentalists and the local citizens in general will find that to be horribly inconvenient for the next thousands of years, though they usually understand that some introduced radiation is the lesser of the two evils when compared to mass-murdering aliens that you can't normally kill with Lasguns. As stated, Balefire Guns are used solely by the Deathwatch to cleanse particularly resilient xenos, and they're particularly effective in controlling and eradicating Ork infestations. On the other hand, that shouldn't stop the Deathwatch from using the Flamer on other enemies that are just as tough, though you probably should take something else with you if those enemies are Chaos worshipers who love Papa Nurgle, or xenos who are more machine than alien such as the Necrons.

Note, this weapon likely has nothing to do with [[Baleflamer|another Flamer]] that comes out of the long throat of a [[Heldrake|certain Daemon Engine]].
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|'''Dmg'''
|'''Pen'''
|'''Clip'''
|'''Rld'''
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|'''Wt'''
|'''Req'''
|'''Renown'''
|-
| Basic
| 20m
| S/–/–
| 2d10 + 2E
| 3
| 6
| 2 Full
| Flame, Toxic
| 7
| 16
| Respected
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===Incinerator===
[[File:Incinerator.png|200px|right|thumb|Incinerator]]
{{topquote|Red or yellow flames may be the sign of incomplete combustion. When you adjust a burner to increase the air supply, you get a more complete combustion, a higher temperature, and a blue flame. I tell you what.|Brother Hank}}
This Flamer is the [[Grey Knights]]' own personal variant on psychic steroids, [[Meme|dial up over 9000]].

Essentially and generally wielded by their Purgation Squads (''but can also be taken by their Terminators and Dreadnoughts as well''), these fuckers have their fuel mixed in with blessed oils which when fired, [[Awesome|it basically creates a stream of flaming blue or white Sanctic power]]. Unlike those you'd find in the Ministorum and Mechanicus – the latter likely just has better fuel mix – the Grey Knight mix has a generous dash of [[meme|<strike>propane</strike>]] daemonic pesticides on top of the God-Emperor's Chaos-Be-Gone blessing you'd find in the Ecclesiastical Flamer mix. [[Rape|This weapon causes most infantries to piss themselves red and scatter in droves, not to mention making most regular Chaos forces shit-launching themselves into near orbit by sheer fear on the amount of collateral rape they will be forced to endure]].

As mentioned, the Incinerator is essentially the Grey Knights version of pesticide for wiping out those [[Demon|hard to kill critters]]. A noteworthy feature of this Flamer is how it has a couple of distinctively different canisters on top of having two barrels. This makes the Incinerator more in line with a Heavy Flamer, albeit a rather compact one. Presumably, the smaller canister has the regular mix for setting things on fire, and the longer one with the Inquisitorial Seal is the pesticide part to be mixed with the regular one before firing out as fire fitting for burning stuff that came out straight from hell.

Although very rare, the Incinerator is also used by members of the Inquisition, especially their Pyroclasts. As such, it's possible that an Incinerator is a more general name for any purpose built flamer with a sanctified intermix.

Indeed, you could say that the Incinerator is one <u>'''*Hell*'''</u> of a gun to use as in the Dawn of War 2 Elite Mod. Over there, Incinerators are absolute rape machines capable of lolnoping almost all types of infantry save those donning the most protective armor. Not even vehicles are safe from this monstrosity of a Flamer, so light one up and watch the chaos rein in everywhere.
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|<gallery class="center">
StrikeSquadIncinerator.jpg|<center>Regular</center>
PaladinIncinerator.jpg|<center>Paladin</center>
GreyKnightIncinerator.jpg|<center>Pict Capture</center>
</gallery>
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{{40k-Ranged-Weapon-Profile-7-8|r7=Template|s7=6|ap7=4|type7=Assault 1|r8=8"|s8=6|ap8=-1|type8=Assault D6|abil8=Automatically hits target.}}
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===Pyreblaster===
[[File:Pyreblaster_(2).jpg|200px|right|thumb|Pyreblaster]]
Like everything else before them, [[Primaris Marines|Primaris Space Marine]] are too good for the flamers that came before them and need new ones, and the [[Black Templars|Black Templar]] are the first ones to get the non gauntlet ones.

Like most Primaris used special weapons, it works exactly like the original versions, but better. What makes it different is the longer barrel which propels the promethium out with a surprising amount of force, enough to actually give it an AP value, which usually takes a heavy flamer or bigger to get enough force/heat to get through armor. Think of it like that of a hydraulic water jet, [[FATAL|but with a flamethrower]]. True enough, it also has a longer range than average at 15", making it more tolerable than your typical firestarters.

It first was announced for a new Primaris [[Initiate|Initiate]] squad but whether or not other chapters will get access to it is still up in the air (though if the [[Salamanders|Salamanders]] don't get it there will be something set on fire). By 10th Edition, it is confirmed that these weapons were so badass, that an entire Primaris Squad was created to just hog these things around. These more general Primaris Marines are called the [[Infernus|Infernus Squad]].
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{{40k-Ranged-Weapon-Profile-8|range=15"|strength=4|ap=-1|damage=1|type=Assault D6|abilities=Automatically hits target.}}
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===Flamestorm Gauntlet===
[[File:FlameGauntlet.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Flamestorm Gauntlet]]
Like its more [[Dakka]] version, the [[Bolter#Boltstorm Gauntlet|Boltstorm Gauntlet]], the Flamestorm Gauntlet is a type of Flamer weapon used by [[Primaris Marines|Primaris Space Marine]] [[Aggressor|Aggressor Squads]].

The Flamestorm Gauntlet, as mentioned, is similar to the Boltstorm Gauntlet, replacing the Bolter with a Flamer. As such, it also bears a strong resemblance and function to Roboute Guilliman's famed weapon Hand of Dominion as well as Marneus Calgar's Gauntlets of Ultramar. Unsurprisingly, the Flamestorm specializes in bathing large mobs of infantry in fire whereas the Boltstorm is more for crowd control. The Flamestorm Gauntlet is used if other Primaris troops such as [[Hellblaster|Hellblasters]] are caught too hot in CQC and a much needed punch is needed to soften the blow.

They are so hot, the shoulder pads of the Aggressors who use them have to be made even bigger with additional blast shields to protect them from the heat. Should one wonder why a heavy Power Armour needs further protection for a Flamer weapon when normal Space Marines in normal Power Armour can use Flamers just fine – perhaps the Flamestorm is '''that''' dangerously hot for even a Primaris Marine in Gravis Armour, or it just fogs up the visor and Cawl thinks a windshield wiper will look stupid. The first assumption is likely when one considers that its name corresponds to a much, much bigger Flamer weapon on this page. Cawl probably managed to make the Flamestorm relatively hot enough to deserve the moniker.

Furthermore, despite the pitiful range on a unit that relies on overwhelming firepower at a distance, the Aggressors are still Terminator-esque infantry; so trying to charge at one knowing full well that these guys carry a [[Rape|2D6 Flamer]] [[Anal Circumference|<u>''on both hands''</u>]] is bound to spell a terrible end to whatever mook not enclosed in centimeters-thick ceramite.
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|<gallery class="center">
FlamestormGauntlet.jpg|<center>Close-up View</center>
FlamestormGauntletBack.jpg|<center>Back View</center>
ShortFlamestormGuantlet.jpg|<center>Short Barrel Variant(?)</center>
FlamestormGauntletPict.jpg|<center>Demonstration</center>
PrimarisAggressorShoulderplate.jpg|<center>Blast Shielding</center>
PrimarisAggressorShoulderplate2.jpg|<center>Regular Variant for Comparison</center>
</gallery>
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{{40k-Ranged-Weapon-Profile-8|range=8"|strength=4|type=Assault 2D6|abilities=Automatically hits target.}}
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===''Triflame Vambrace''===
[[File:TriflameVambraceProfile.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Triflame Vambrace]]
If you think that putting flamethrowers by a Power Fist is a revolutionary idea on Cawl's part, then we are sad to inform you that you are a bit mistaken.

At the very least, a Techmarine did it before him, though it is an artifact, rather than a mass-produced model. The possibility remains, however, that Cawl or one of his subordinates based the design of the Flamer part of the Flamestorm Gauntlet on this artifact. Though it doesn't come with a Power Fist and mandatory Gravis Armour, this [[Deathwatch]] relic called ''Triflame Vambrace'' here is a forearm-mounted Flamer forged and first worn by said Deathwatch Techmarine serving in a region of Jericho Reach known as Orpheus Salient. Because aliens and/or their weapons come in a lot of flavors we certainly do not want to taste, the Deathwatch has been utilizing shot selectors for versatility. Of course, the ''Triflame Vambrace'' has this feature. Also, a variable feed of dihydropromethium to a trifurcated ignition chamber allows versatility in how the rare fuel is expended. Now, "Dihydro-" means there are two hydrogen atoms in a molecule, which probably translates to the expensive Promethium being more flammable. "Trifurcated" means divided into three branches: because this thing has three modes of firing

Whether that means it actually has three barrels is uncertain since the only image we have here shows only two, though perhaps the bottom two barrels are placed side-by-side while the third is placed on top in the usual triangular manner. The first mode of firing the ''Triflame'' is capable of is '''Concentrated''', which shoots out an incandescent blast that ignites nearly anything with an inextinguishable flame as well as probably being the default mode. Next in line is the '''Wide''' mode, which doubles the arc of the weapon to more or less 60 degrees, doing additional damage to hordes of enemies by merit of setting more things on fire at a time. The third mode is '''Burst''', which makes the weapon lose the flames, but inflicts massive damage and sets the target on fire in the blast of a Dragonfire Bolt. This probably means it shoots out fire that has similar effects to the Dragonfire, not that it shoots the actual bolt out.
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|'''Class'''
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|'''Pen'''
|'''Clip'''
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|'''Wt'''
|'''Req'''
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|-
| Basic
| 30m
| S/–/–
| 2d10 + 4e
| 5
| 12
| 3 Full
| Flame
| 13
| 45
| Famed
|}
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</center>

===Heavy Flamer===
[[File:Flamer Heavy2.png|200px|right|thumb|Heavy Flamer]]
The big brother of the regular flamer, able to do far more damage by merit of being a size bigger.

Due to the longer barrel and more powerful gas propellant, the Heavy Flamer has a much longer reach then the regular Flamer, but it is offset by its higher maintenance and bulkiness due to its large and ungainly size, not to mention how most of them come Twin-Linked. Mainly used by [[Terminators]] and vehicles – such as [[Sentinel]]s as a main weapon, or [[Chimera Transport|Chimera]]s as a side weapon – they are also carried to battle by the [[Sisters of Battle]] as specialist weapons, by '''everyone''' in the [[Salamanders]], occasionally by the [[Imperial Guard]] in teams of two, and hauled by the [[Catachan_Jungle_Fighters|Catachans]] in teams of one simply because they can and don't give a fuck (''and that the variant they use, though still obviously heavy, is only a little bigger than a regular Flamer'').

Also sees frequent usage by the [[Blood Angels]], [[Deathwatch]], and generally Sternguard Veterans of various other Chapters beyond Terminator Squads. Strictly better than a regular flamer, which is why GW usually manually prevents you from just taking gobs of them, unless you play a Crusade Legion list where you can field [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Space_Marine_Legion_List_(30k)#Heavy_Support|squads of 10]]. Now, despite the profile we have here, most handheld Heavy Flamers actually have you use them with a chainsaw grip to emphasize its heaviness, with people up to the Space Marine size using two hands to carry them, while Terminators requiring only one arm to bear the weight.

All in all, the Heavy Flamer produces a larger swathe of flame capable of setting more things on fire in one push of the button, provided that you have what it takes to carry it.
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|<gallery class="center">
GoliathHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>House Goliath</center>
DeathKorpsHeavyFLamer.jpg|<center>Death Korps</center>
CatachanHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Catachan</center>
SororitasHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Sister of Battle</center>
SternguardHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Space Marine</center>
AstartesHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Sternguard Veteran</center>
BloodAngelsHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Blood Angels</center>
SpaceWolvesHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Wolf Guard</center>
DamnedLegionHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Damned Legionnaire</center>
DeathwatchHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Deathwatch</center>
Infernus Heavy Bolter.PNG|<center>Infernus Heavy Bolter</center>
CataphractiiHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Heresy Era</center>
TartarosHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Heresy Era 2</center>
PheastosHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Phaistos Pattern</center>
HuronHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Lugft Huron's</center>
DreadnoughtHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Dreadnought</center>
SentinelHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Sentinel</center>
LandSpeederHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Land Speeder</center>
ChimeraHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Chimera</center> </gallery>
</gallery>
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{{40k-Ranged-Weapon-Profile-7-8|r7=Template|s7=5|ap7=4|type7=Assault 1|r8=8"|s8=5|ap8=-1|type8=Heavy D6|abil8=Automatically hits target.}}
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===Atalan Incinerator===
[[File:Atalan_Incinerator.JPG|200px|right|thumb|Atalan Incinerator]]
For the [[Genestealer Cult|Genestealer Cults]] during their revolution, having an industrialized flamethrower to burn their enemies in the same manner as the rocks it is originally meant to melt is a norm.

The Atalan Incinerator is a relatively compact mining tool designed for melting debris that happens to be in the way of a small vehicle. The vehicle in question is the Atalan [[Wolfquad]] ATV. Why will a quad bike ever need a flamethrower, you ask? Atalan-branded vehicles – the dirt bikes and quads – are used by mining companies to scout out for ore veins on the planet, and a good pair of eyes from a professional surveyor is often all you need to strike gold. And when that surveyor is driving his quad through the wasteland, he'll eventually find the need to set things on fire; and by that, we mean using fire hot enough to turn stone into sludge. It is so hot that the driver needs to wear a heat-resistant suit while handling the Wolfquad with one. Something like that sounds incredibly useful if you're planning to overthrow a planetary government, don't you think?

Despite being at about the same size, the Atalan Incinerator is, for some reason, more powerful than a Heavy Flamer, being at about the same level as the Incendine Combustor of the Mechanicus. Either the Imperium puts more emphasis on equipment over the industry rather than military, or the Genestealer Cults somehow made the Atalan Incinerator better; perhaps by tinkering designs, or perhaps by making a special Promethium mix involving some their own exclusive substances.

The bigger rendition of the Atalan Incinerator is the Clearance Incinerator used by Goliath Rockgrinders (''and not Clearance Rockgrinders'').
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AtalanIncineratorFront.jpg|<center>Front View</center>
AtalanIncineratorPict.jpg|<center>Pict Capture</center>
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===Incendine Combustor===
[[File:Combustor.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Incendine Combustor]]
The Incendine Combustor is a type of Flamer Weapon used by Adeptus Mechanicus Kastelan Robots.

Similar to the Grey Knights' Incinerators and in contrast with the Custodians' Infernus Firepike, this rather short Heavy Flamer hurls out great gouts of burning, thrice-blessed Promethium. Laced with Magos-blessed unguents and ignited by a flame lit from the Perpetual Forge, each of these holy fire-throwers can turn a techno-heretic into foul tallow in a matter of seconds. While the Incinerator focuses on particularly setting Daemons on fire, the fuel of the Incendine Combustor is specially made for burning Hereteks, which might translate as it is somehow better at setting machines on fire.

Because of its the size and weight being on the bigger end of the weight spectrum, the Incendine Combustor is reserved for the robots of the AdMech since not even the augmented muscles of the Space Marines can use this weapon in an efficient and practical manner; or maybe it's too hot to handle without proper insulation that can be easily installed on a robot and not as much on an Astartes and/or his Power Armour. Tabletop-wise, the Incendine Combustor is a Heavy Flamer with a longer 12" range (''so it can be used right out of infiltration/deepstrike''), this thing is great for clearing out hordes, like all Flamers do, but at a longer range; works well on those close and dirty as well as punchy Kastelans.

Appearance-wise, it is pretty stubby for a Heavy Flamer, which probably explains the manner it is mounted on a vehicle, or in this case, a robot.
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IncendineCombustorRight.jpg|<center>Front View</center>
IncendineCombustorSide.jpg|<center>Side View</center>
IncendineCombustorPict.jpg|<center>Pict Capture</center>
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===Pyroclast Flame Projector===
[[File:Pyrocast_Flamer.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Pyroclast Flame Projector]]
In order to properly display their love of Flamers, the Salamanders have their own variant to deploy at least during the Horus Heresy.

Pyroclast Flame Projectors were the [[Salamanders]]' unique and complex Flamer Weapon created by [[Vulkan]] himself some time during the [[Great Crusade]]. Wielded by a [[Pyroclast|unit with the same name,]] this weapon is not your average everyday Flamer. They were used to incinerate pretty much everything in the same manner as a standard Flamer, and also capable of focusing that same Promethium (''with possibly a mix of something from the smaller tanks'') into a searing jet of really damn hot arc that is rather difficult to aim considering the grip, but able to slice through durable armor like a hot knife cutting something video.

Although it is comparable to the Ork Burna due to having two modes of firing fire, there is a slight difference between the Pyroclast projection and the "''cuttin flame''." While the former shoots out Promethium pretty far in a straight line that should inevitably curve down after quite a distance because it is not a laser, the latter is simply a switch from flamethrower mode into huge blowtorch mode with a change of a nozzle. It is not known whether the present Salamanders still crack these bad boys out for a field trip once in a while, but judging from how good they are at maintaining equipment, they might still have a couple of boxes out in the back of their armoury. It's not like Vulkan had ''all'' of them out at Isstvan, right?

In a nutshell, a souped up Heavy Flamer that has a Lightsaber mode.
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PyroclastBack.jpg|<center>Back View</center>
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===Infernus Firepike===
[[File:99560108191_AquilonTerminatorsFirepikes02.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Infernus Firepike]]
The big golden marshmallow melter, the Phoenix Gun, the golden incinerator; there are many names for the Infernus Firepike and it is understandable considering – it looks [[Awesome|absolutely beast]]!

The Infernus Firepike is one of the primary weapons available for the golden pain trains known as the [[Aquilon Terminator|Aquilon Terminators]]. Able to burn a huge swaths of either filthy Xenos or [[Heretics]], or both in a single gout of holy Promethium. As with all Custodes equipment, the Promethium is of high quality possibly blessed with sacred oils and wards for extra burny power. It is likewise known as one of the most powerful Heavy Flamers available. The Firepike is also very long-barrelled for a carried Heavy Flamer, making it safe to assume that the length somehow plays the role of making the fire go a little further and a little burni-er. Another notable design feature of this Infernus-class Flamer is how its fuel comes in a box for a tank, which is not something you see every day in the hands of Terminators that usually take a few shorter Heavy Flamers with them for the occasion of Space Hulk exploration. And since it is so bloody long, the Infernus Firepike is not something you'd take with you in a Space Hulk expedition where there are plenty of narrow corridors to explore and be ambushed in by the local [[Ork|Orks]] and [[Genestealer|Genestealers]], and [[Daemon#Warhammer_40.2C000|whatever-that-is]]. On the tabletop, the Infernus Firepike is a powerful S6 AP6 Heavy 1, Torrent gun that can [[Anal circumference|assrape]] most infantry in one sitting.

Older depictions of what seems to the Aquilon Terminators depict them carrying spear-length flamethrowers which we may presume to also be Infernus Firepikes. This rendition is noticeably less bulky, and might as well be another Guardian Spear variant for Terminators. Unlike what we have here, the eagle head is more than for decoration. It is where the fires come out as well.
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InfernusFirepikeSide.jpg|<center>Side View</center>
InfernusFirepikeCarried.jpg|<center>Length Demonstration</center>
InfernusFirepikePict.jpg|<center>Pict Capture of likely a smaller variant</center>
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===Incendium Cannon===
[[File:Incendium_Cannon.JPG|200px|right|thumb|Incendium Cannon]]

What happens when you want to play as [[Sly Marbo]] in a mech suit.

The Incendium Cannon is a weapon used by the mini-baby carriers known as the [[Invictor Tactical Warsuit|Invictor Tactical Warsuits.]] This Flame Weapon allows the Invictor to fire pyrotechnic blasts that reduce swathes of enemies to blazing corpses.

Due to the fact that the Invictor is a 'stealth' walker (stealth being used in the loosest sense of the word), the Incendium Cannon may not be the best weapon suited for reconnaissance and intelligence gathering. It could be used instead, as a weapon to clear out entrenched enemies from the back line when shit hits the fan.

Crunchwise, on 8th Edition, the Incendium is basically a souped-up Heavy Flamer. It boasts a 12” range and is a Heavy 2d6, AP-1, D1 weapon that auto-hits on a S5. GEQs ain't gonna last too long when facing this bad boy.

===Inferno Cannon===
[[File:Inferno_Cannon.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Inferno Cannon]]

{{topquote|It occurred to me, watching his Zippo hose down enemy strongpoints with napalm, that fighting in an RPG-rich environment while perched on a 300-gallon tank of napalm might qualify as dangerous duty.|Captain Dale A. Dye, U.S.M.C (Ret.)}}

The Inferno Cannon is yet another huge, vehicle mounted Flamer Weapon.

The primary weapon of the [[Hellhound Tank|Hellhound]], this Inferno Cannon focuses on the "thrower" aspect of "flamethrower." Similar in strength to the Heavy Flamer, the Inferno Cannon has an extra perk of being capable of projecting its fiery payload over a considerable distance, and if correctly utilized, can fuck up even vehicles if they happen to have poor armor. It is used by the Imperial Guard and can also be equipped on Astartes Dreadnoughts, where it had an interesting special rule (basically it gave it proto-torrent). The amount of damage it does is magnified by the explosive force it was fired with. The particular Promethium from the Inferno Cannon causes fear amongst those enemies that unluckily has to face it, and rightly so – the sheer amount of flame that leaves the vehicle is immense, enough to melt through aforementioned armor and even some defensive structures. The vehicle carrying it also has to carry a large barrel or two of Promethium as fuel, making it extremely volatile, especially under explosive fire. And when it fires, the vehicle must not be moving, as a disastrous back wash of flame would fry everyone inside the vehicle. The crew themselves are often seen as pyromaniacs. Speaking of maniacs, the Immolator tank of the Sisters of Battle can be installed with a Twin-linked Heavy Flamer which produces a similar effect.

Inferno Cannons on most Hellhounds are simply bulkier Heavy Flamers at the size for cannons, other Hellhounds such as the Artemia pattern as well as Siege Dreadnoughts are typically the long tubular kind of flamethrowers. Now, despite the similar appearance, these two are quite different in practice. While the Dreadnought kind has half the range, the Artemia variant is slightly superior as an Inferno Cannon. Initially, the Artemia debut along with the tank it is mounted on in ''The Anphelion Project'', and absent from then on in the Second Edition.

The Dreadnought version was made distinct thanks to the ridiculous range, having the same range as a bolter, and the following special rule: '''''Inferno Cannon:''' When firing the Inferno Cannon, designate a target unit and place the normal Flamer template so that it is at least partially over as many enemy members as possible. The whole template must be in range and line of sight. Roll to hit once, using the Dreadnought's BS. If you hit, then all models partially or wholly under the template are hit. If you miss, they are each hit on a roll of 4+. The Dreadnought can only carry a limited amount of fuel for the Inferno Cannon. After each shot roll a D6, on a 1 the Dreadnought is out of fuel and cannot fire its Inferno Cannon again.''

Once fifth edition rolled around, Dreadnoughts could no longer get Inferno Cannons, they got Flamestorm Cannons, even though the image used for the Dreadnought was still an Inferno Cannon and described as such. This is probably a Forge World fuck up, and they likely forgot to update the text to reflect the new wargear.

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AlternateHellhoundCannon.jpg|<center>Graia Pattern Hellhound</center>
DreadnoughtInfernoCannon.jpg|<center>Siege Dreadnought</center>
HellhoundInfernoCannonPict.jpg|<center>Demonstration</center>
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<caption style="font-weight: bold">{{{name|}}}</caption>
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<th style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">S</th>
<th style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">AP</th>
<th style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">Damage</th>
<th style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">Abilities</th>
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<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">4th</td>
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<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{type7|Heavy 1/Template}}}</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{s7|6}}}</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{ap7|4}}}</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">N/A</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{abil7|-}}}</td>
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<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">8th</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{r8|16}}}</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{type8|Heavy D6}}}</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{s8|6}}}</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{ap8|-1}}}</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{d8|2}}}</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{abil8|Automatically hits target. Roll two dice for the number of attacks when firing this weapon and discard the lowest result.}}}</td>
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<caption style="font-weight: bold">{{{name|}}}</caption>
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<th style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">Edition</th>
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<th style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">Type</th>
<th style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">S</th>
<th style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">AP</th>
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<th style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">Abilities</th>
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<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{r7|24"}}}</td>
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<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{s7|6}}}</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{ap7|4}}}</td>
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<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{abil7|Inferno Cannon}}}</td>
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<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">8th</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{r8|8}}}</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{type8|Heavy D6}}}</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{s8|6}}}</td>
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<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{d8|2}}}</td>
<td style="padding: 5px; border-style: ridge">{{{abil8|Automatically hits target.}}}</td>
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===Flamestorm Cannon===
[[File:FlamestormCannonProfile.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Flamestorm Cannon]]
The Flamestorm Cannon is a large Flamer weapon of the Imperium, more powerful than even the standard Heavy Flamer installed on several vehicles it deploys.

As an even bigger variation of the Flamer, the Flamestorm Cannon is found on the [[Land Raider]] Redeemer as a sponson weapon, and as the primary weapon for the [[Predator_Tank#Baal_Pattern_Predator|Baal]] and [[Predator_Tank#Infernus_Pattern_Predator|Infernus]] Pattern Predators. Each spouts a billowing tide of burning Promethium into the thick of the foe, incinerating any biological matter and melting any inorganic matter in the way. These massive fire-spewing cannons make the Redeemers highly effective against infantry in grueling and dangerous urban combat.

A [[Land Raider Redeemer]] can use its Flamestorm Cannons to burn said infantry out of their hiding spots in shattered buildings, mazes of debris, and Rockcrete rubble. The [[Grey Knight]]s' Vortimer Pattern of the Redeemer features their own signature Holy Promethium mix through a variant they call the Flamestorm Incinerator. There are reports that the flames being spitted out is hot enough to melt Plasteel and even the Ceramite of Space Marine Power Armour, which would have made it more of a Plasma weapon if larger Flamer weapons didn't exist that can also do it like that, and probably better too by merit of size. A cool trivia is that these weapons are so good at killing hordes of infantry that the [[Space Wolves|Yiffers]] nickname them Firewyrms after an ancient beast of Fenrisian legend that is said to have harbored the fires of the sun (''probably their sun, not ours'') in its gullet.

This is the weapon you wanna use to flashfry and BBQ a whole swarm of Tyranids before getting into superheavy category, although the Inferno Cannon might be a bit better in terms of assault and price.
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Flamestorm_Cannon.jpg|<center>Baal Predator</center>
FlamestormRedeemer.jpg|<center>Land Raider Redeemer</center>
FlamestormIncinerator.jpg|<center>Flamestorm Incinerator</center>
FlamestormInfernus.jpg|<center>Deimos Pattern...</center>
DeimosInfernusFlamestorm.jpg|<center>...Predator Infernus</center>
BloodRavensLandRaiderFlamestorm.jpg|<center>Demonstration</center>
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===Clearance Incinerator===
[[File:ClearanceIncinerator.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Clearance Incinerator]]
This here is essentially a quad-barrelled civilian/utility Heavy Flamer.

The Clearance Incinerator is a type of Flame Weapon used on [[Goliath Truck|Goliath Rockgrinders]], originally as a construction equipment to weaken and liquefy rock, it is also utilized by [[Genestealer|Genestealer Cults]]. This is a massive, quadruply-chambered Heavy Flamer more than capable of turning a rocky landslide into a molten slurry; very useful in the part of land reclamation where you need get rid of a big obstacle, but blowing them up and hauling them out is a costly option that you are not paid and/or well-equipped enough to deal with it like that, especially since the Imperium probably produces more than enough rock to toss around itself for another 40,000 years anyway.

The Clearance Incinerator seems to be controlled by a couple of joysticks, presumably one for left-right and the other for up-down. The button on a joystick likely activates the pilot light, while the button on the other one likely fires out the fuel. In the Genestealer Codex and paramilitary application, the Clearance Incinerator is an upgrade for the regular Goliath Truck depending on whether you want to go all out on blob-cleansing or not. The alternative choice of weaponry is the Heavy Seismic Cannon that has the ability to switch between two modes at the expense of being a better overall troop killer like this civilian Incinerator here.

On tabletop, the Incinerator is an Assault Heavy Flamer with a 12" range and is considered the best compliment to the Drilldozer.
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Clearance_Incinerator.JPG|<center>Side View</center>
GoliathTurretControl.jpg|<center>Control Panel</center>
ClearanceIncineratorPict.jpg|<center>Pict Capture</center>
ClearanceIncineratorPict2.jpg|<center>Pict Capture</center>
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===Infernus Incinerator===
[[File:InfernusIncineratorProfile.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Infernus Incinerator]]
For when you want to be Choppy yet have a toasty after-crisp.

The Infernus Incinerator is a type Flamer Weapon used by the [[Adeptus Custodes]]. Basically the Flamer version of the [[Bolter#Guardian_Bolter|Bolt Caster]]; this time, welded on to a giant sword to further maximize its close combat lethality with a hint of Promethium smoke. In a way, it is the Sentinel Warblade for Dreadnoughts. But since Custodian Dreadnoughts are already pretty large on their own, there are better things to mount on it that can take advantage of the heavy chassis; and this is why they strap flamethrowers on it instead of rocket launchers. The sword in question is wielded by the [[Contemptor-Galatus Dreadnought|Contemptor-Galatus Dreadnought]] as a nasty surprise for a mob trying the usual tactics on it. The Infernus also gives the Galatus a wavy pattern like fire like the Flamberge. Different from our flame-bladed sword, this here we're talking about is literally a sword coated in fire just like our [[Emperor's Sword|Emprah's]] now swung by [[Roboute Guilliman|Guilliman]]. Of course, since the Emperor Himself is not a Dreadnought, that sword of his doesn't have to have flamethrowers strapped on its hilt to get a flaming sword that is somehow bad mojo for Daemons. Should the Warblade seek to further emulate that sword, however, then it only makes sense for this Incinerator to use the same kind of Promethium the Grey Knights fill their Incinerators with.

By the way, the entire name of the sword itself is the [[Power_weapon#Galatus_Warblade|Galatus Warblade]], which is a massive Dreadnought Close Combat Weapon used by the aforementioned Custodes Dreadnoughts, and it is where these Heavy Flamers are installed on, specifically the guard, all four barrels facing the tip of the blade and not the other way around. And also, this is not exclusively a special Flamer for a giant sword. The Contemptor-Achillus variant may also mount this on his wrist instead of the usual Lastrum Storm Bolters.
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InfernusIncinerator.jpg|<center>Close-up View</center>
InfernusIncineratorFront.jpg|<center>Twin-linked, Twin-Linked</center><center>Heavy Flamer</center>
InfernusIncineratorBack.jpg|<center>Likely, the Fuel Tank</center>
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===Heavy Incinerator===
[[File:Heavy_Incinerator.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Heavy Incinerator]]
If you thought the regular Incinerator is just not enough to scare those [[Daemon|pesky critters from this universe's equivalent of Hell]], then fear not – for the Grey Knights can just [[Powergamer|upscale the whole thing]]! And now you can bathe entire daemonic armies in an even bigger swathe of purifyingly white hot flames. The Heavy Incinerator is a much larger, and therefore much more powerful version of the Incinerator that comes in a whopping quadruple barrels arranged in a square instead of the usual horizontal line. It also comes along with a couple-couple fuel tanks by the sides of its back end. The Heavy Incinerator is only known to be mounted on the infamous [[Nemesis Dreadknight|Nemesis Dreadknights]].

A notable point from its overall design is how it looks so similar to the Clearance Incinerator of the civilian/construction sector. Perhaps there is an original design where both Incinerators share as a common ancestor which might be a mount on a Rhino for clearing out alien weed or something. Or perhaps while clearing ground for the Citadel of Titan on Saturn's eponymous moon, a Grey Knights Techmarine saw a Clearance Incinerator incinerating yet another Titanian rubble and thought to himself, "''By Emprah, I need that on my Dreadknight''." He then proceeded to tinker with it for Daemon-burning efficiency, and before long the Heavy Incinerator was born.

On '''7th''' ed, it was essentially the heavy version for the Dreadknight. It gained Soulblaze just like the standard Incinerator. It was one of the best horde cleanser in the Grey Knights armoury. And it was notorious for making swift and hopefully sweet barbecue out of entire [[Termagaunt]] hordes.

On '''8th''' ed, the Heavy Incinerator dishes out d6 auto hits at an extended range of 12" at 2 damage each. However, it is now a requirement to just arm you Dreadnight with either a Gatling Psilencer or a Heavy Psycannon (''or both for each'') since these two are simply just better then the Heavy Incinerator. The only part the Heavy Incinerator shines is stopping horde rushes during Overwatch.
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HeavyIncineratorBack.jpg|<center>Back View</center>
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===Acheron Flame Cannon===
[[File:AcheronFlameCannonProfile.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Acheron Flame Cannon]]
Complementing the slim Acheron is the slender Acheron Flame Cannon.

Should neither be confused with the Tzeentchian [[Flamer#Warpfire_Flame_Cannon|Flame Cannon]] which some has taken into calling it as the "Warpfire Flame Cannon" to avoid confusion, and the [[Flamer#Flamestorm_Cannon|Flamestorm Cannon]] since it clearly lacks the latter word, this Flamer weapon is sported by the Cerastus Knight-Acheron. As a step up from your regular Inferno Cannon, the Acheron Flame Cannon is another class of Flamer Weapon with a rather long barrel mounted on Imperial Knights, specifically the aforementioned Knight-Acheron of the slim Cerastus chassis. Fire basically rains when this thing comes into play, with the height of these Knights contributing significantly to the effect. The power of the Acheron Flame Cannon can even be equally compared with the Titan-class variants of Flamers. The striking feature of this weapon is its feeding line, exposed but well-armoured, connecting the double-barrelled cannon to the double barrels of Promethium on the back. Even the fuel tank shared by the torches is exposed by the bottom of the cannon behind the blast shield. The blast shield itself might also contribute to melee action as a sort of buckler. Overall, the Acheron Flame Cannon is pretty slimmed-down and exposed, perhaps to cut down on the weight factor to complement the Knight's already slim body that gives it a little more mobility.

It is simply overshadowed by its larger cousin, the even bigger Inferno Gun, which may be the reason why this weapon is not heard off that much at all beyond Questoris circles.
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Flame_Cannon_of_the_Knight_Acheron.jpg|<center>Side View</center>
AcheronFlameCannonFront.jpg|<center>Front View</center>
AcheronFlameCannonBack.jpg|<center>Back View</center>
AcheronFlameCannonPict.jpg|<center>Pict Capture</center>
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===Conflagration Cannon===
[[File:ConflagationCannonSide.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Conflagration Cannon]]
There is a new Flamer in town, and this one is so big that it just stops shy of being qualified as an Inferno Gun. Don't confuse this for the similar Conflagration Gun, which is basically a Hotshot Inferno Pistol.

The Conflagration Cannon is the primary weapon of the Knight Valiants which are, basically, [[Dawww|baby Warlord Titans]] in both design and weapon loadout. This bad motherfucker with a fancy name here is essentially, in a triangularly-arranged triple barrel configuration, '''three''' Flamers each the size you would probably see on a proper Questoris Knight if there is a loadout for it. Yes, you heard us right – it is not one, not two, but three of these horde-gluttons combined, and even supercharged to boot! Of course, there are some [[Skub|argumentative debates]] on the design choices of this weapon.

While detractors state that the top barrel lacks a pilot light to actually light its 1⁄3 share of Promethium up, the supporters propose that the other two bottom barrels, which <u>DO</u> have pilot lights of their own, would end up setting the fuel projected from the top barrel on fire anyway. Both sides, however, can agree that it might have been a design oversight on GW's part that they have just given up after realizing that it had already passed the drawing boards and into production. Though arranged in a triangular form reminiscent to the Gatling style, the construction of the Conflagration Cannon does not seem to able to provide a spinning mechanism for such a cool feature like the Phased Plasma-Flamer.

Crunch wise, this thing is a monster. The Conflagration Cannon is essentially an [[Powergamer|18″ flamer that auto hits with 3D6 shots that each are Str 7, AP -2, and 2 Damage]]. The Flame Cannon – the one on a Cerastus Knight, not those on Tzeentchian birds – wishes it could be this cool... or awesome... or perhaps just recognized....
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ConflagWeapon.jpg|<center>Front View</center>
ConflagrationCannonBack.jpg|<center>Side View</center>
ConflagrationCannonPict.jpg|<center>Pict Capture</center>
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====''Traitor's Pyre''====
[[File:ConflagationCannonSideBlackWhite.jpg|200px|right|thumb|''Traitor's Pyre'' (''Placeholder'')]]
This is a tale of how a deadly flamethrower went on a trip to some holy world and somehow came back as an even more deadly giant flamethrower.

This ornate Conflagration Cannon was borne upon a three-hundred-and-fifty year pilgrimage to the Cardinal World of Basphoria, so that it might be blessed by Saint Gauschwyn the Wrathful. The pilgrimage in question is likely made by an Imperial-aligned Dominus Knight Valiant, not his/her Sacristans. This is because Sacristans are full-fledged members of the Cult Mechanicus, so they shouldn't have a need for some spiritual journey to a religiously-important world controlled by the Ecclesiarchy which is a different faith in the first place.

After three and a half centuries of traveling, the Conflagration Cannon on the Knight Valiant finally reached its destination, and it was finally blessed by that angry Saint. How he blesses a triple-barreled giant flamethrower is open to speculation, but likely involves a lot of shouting and a lot of incense. Judging from its name, the ''Traitor's Pyre'' might have burned a few scores of heretics in the process. Gauschwyn’s spiritual influence fortified the weapon’s Machine Spirit and greatly enhanced its ferocity, imparting a portion of his infamous and eponymous wrath upon it, and making sure that the enormous shower of fire does its share of damage as the [[God-Emperor]] and the [[Vulkan|Eighteenth Son]] would have liked it.

No difference whatsoever from the regular Conflagration Cannon above apart from that extra re-roll.
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===Inferno Gun===
[[File:Inferno_Gun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Inferno Gun]]
There is a saying: "Some men just want to watch the world burn, while others provide the matches."

This Inferno Gun here falls under the second category as the match and hopefully not the other. Well-known to be mounted on the [[Warhound Scout Titan]] and the [[Malcador_Heavy_Tank#Malcador_Infernus|Infernus]] variant of the [[Malcador Heavy Tank]], it will do horrifying damage on any number of things caught in its fiery path. The gun is composed of several linked barrels – at least two, as seen on the Malcador Infernus – firing highly flammable chemicals in massive waves of flame. For the task, the highly flammable chemical in question is usually the classic Promethium we all know and love, which is stored in multiple parts and pumped independently into a mixing chamber just behind the barrel to create a chemical "jelly." The compound is then compressed and released as a jet of burning mass which sticks to any surface. This massive gout of sun-fire can melt stone and concrete, causing buildings to collapse in on themselves, and even liquidate Power-Armoured infantry. It can also effectively clear minefields as the sudden heat detonates their main charges on contact, not to mention that the gun can probably shoot far enough for whatever it is mounted on, along with the people operating it, to not be caught in the blast unless that minefield in particular includes something largely destructive like a nuclear bomb.

The Inferno Gun can be fitted to the limb mounts on Warhound Scout Titans, as well as the carapace mounts found on Reaver and Warlord Battle Titans. They can also be found on the carapace mounts of some Imperator Titans. The Imperial Guard Malcador Infernus super-heavy tank also mounts an Inferno Gun as its main armament, though it must tow its Promethium fuel tank in a separate trailer. The Malcador Infernus notably has a couple of fuel options. It can either stick with the usual burn, or it may choose to spray chemicals as an alternative kind of burn instead.
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WarhoundTitanInfernoGun.jpg|<center>Warhound Titan</center>
InfernoGunZoomed.jpg|<center>Warhound's Close-up</center>
MalcadorInfernus.jpg|<center>Malcador Infernus</center><center>and its fuel tank</center>
Warhounds_lightmerged.jpg|Just like with dakka, there is no such thing as "too much fire".
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{{40k-Ranged-Weapon-Profile-7-8|name=Chem Inferno Gun|r7=Hellstorm|s7=1|ap7=2|type7=Heavy 1, Poisoned (2+)|r8=16"|s8=*|ap8=-3|type8=Heavy 2D6|abil8=Automatically hits target. Wounds on 2+. If target is Vehicle, wounds on 6+.}}
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{{40k-Imperial-Weapons}}
{{40k-Squat-Weapons}}
{{40k-GenestealerCults-Weapons}}

==Chaos Variations==
Chaos Space Marines and Daemons both use flame weapons with fire generating from more warp-derived sources. Results of this are positively deadly as fuck! Additionally, CSM use a lot of the imperial flamer variants including the flamer, heavy flamer and combi-flamer.

The most famous Chaos Flamer is of course the one employed by [[Kharn]] himself to [[Battle of Skalathrax|burn out his allies]] for being faggots and shying away from cold weather on Skalathrax, although there's a bit of a debate over which flamer he used as the one in the Chaos Space Marine armoury says it was just rumoured to have been the one (although the Skalathrax scenario gives it to Kharn, so it's probably the one). Called the '''Burning Brand of Skalathrax''' has a colourful history of burning shit to death - most notably [[Space Marines|power armoured Mary-Sues]]. This is a unique weapon that projects a gout of Khorne's ([[skub|or Tzeentch?]] Nobody knows exactly) best fire at a long distance, to chase out and scorch anyone who might be hiding in cover.

===Incendiary Bomb===
''For more information, see here: [[Grenades & Explosives#Incendiary Bomb|Incendiary Bomb]]''

===Warpflame Pistol===
[[File:S-l225Warpflame Pistol.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Warpflame Pistol]]
As of the introduction of Warzone Fenris: Wrath of Magnus, the [[Thousand Sons]] got some sweet new looking toys, the latest of which are the Warpflame weapons which are pretty much what happens when you trap a [[Flamers of Tzeentch|Flamer of Tzeentch]] inside a gas canister.

The Warpflame Pistol is the baby of the bunch, essentially the Chaos equivalent of the Imperium's Hand Flamer. They are a ranged option for three Thousand Sons units. Exalted Sorcerers can take them if they fancy some fire. Regular Sorcerers can take them too under the same logic. Rubric Marines in general sadly seems to be stuck with using two-handed weapons. Nevertheless, their Aspiring Sorcerers sergeants can take one like the other Sorcerers. Frankly, the only lot of Sorcerers who do not get these infernal blowtorches are the ones wearing Terminator Armour. The Warpflame Pistol has the shortest range so far out from the Warpflame family of three. The lack of punch is offset by its ease of use and smaller profile, a common trait for Hand Flamers and valuable when you want the most of your concentration on casting spells instead of how heavy your sidearm is. Appearance-wise, it looks exactly like the present Hand Flamers of the Imperium with a Tzeentchian decorative touch – specifically the ones used by the Deathwatch – hinting that the Thousand Sons might have been recently raiding Watch Fortresses.

As a daemonic weapon, Warpflamers do not really need to worry about fuel as the very nature of the Warp makes it more likely to carry more fuel than the canister might have originally had in store. In the hands of the Thousand Sons, Flamer weapons of this caliber hurl gouts of transmorphic fire that mutates those touched by them, turning them either into an immobile tumor or a [[Chaos Spawn|They-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named]].
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WarpflamePistol.jpg|<center>Side View</center>
WarpFlamePistolFront.jpg|<center>Front View</center>
DeathwatchHandFlamer.jpg|<center>Comparison</center>
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===Warpflamer===
[[File:Warpflamer.PNG|200px|right|thumb|Warpflamer]]
As of the introduction of Warzone Fenris: Wrath of Magnus, the [[Thousand Sons]] got some sweet new looking toys, the latest of which are the Warpflame weapons which are pretty much what happens when you trap a [[Flamers of Tzeentch|Flamer of Tzeentch]] inside a gas canister.

The Warpflamer is the middle child of the bunch, essentially the Chaos equivalent of the Imperium's regular Flamer. The Warpflamer has a decent range and is able to hit targets that could not be reached with a Warpflame Pistol. Warpflamers can be a great alternative to your [[Rubric Marines]] as its effects render it quite good at dealing with those chumps that like to get up close and personal. It is also great at clearing out entrenched positions as its unworldly flames will roll over those pesky covers. Appearance-wise, it has a similar case to the Warpflame Pistol in that it is basically a present Imperial Flamer chaotically-claimed in Tzeentch's name. Great Crusade-era Flamers have their canisters attached straight, whilst the Flamers that are used ten thousand years later tend to feature them tilted. Perhaps the Thousand Sons screwed up most of their old Flamers after a disastrous attempt to shove Brimstone Horrors into the canisters or something, and they had to restock their Rubric Marines with recent ones freshly imported (''Ork speech – <span style='color:green;>'''looted''''') from the Imperium.

As a daemonic weapon, Warpflamers do not really need to worry about fuel as the very nature of the Warp makes it more likely to carry more fuel than the canister might have originally had in store. In the hands of the Thousand Sons, Flamer weapons of this caliber hurl gouts of transmorphic fire that mutates those touched by them, turning them either into an immobile tumor or a [[Chaos Spawn|They-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named]].
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WarpFlamerBit.jpg|<center>Model</center>
RubricWarpflamer.jpg|<center>Front View</center>
AstartesFlamer.jpg|<center>Comparison</center>
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===Heavy Warpflamer===
[[File:Heavy Warpflamer3.JPG|200px|right|thumb|Heavy Warpflamer]]
As of the introduction of Warzone Fenris: Wrath of Magnus, the [[Thousand Sons]] got some sweet new looking toys, the latest of which are the Warpflame weapons which are pretty much what happens when you trap a [[Flamers of Tzeentch|Flamer of Tzeentch]] inside a gas canister.

The Heavy Warpflamer is the adult of the bunch, essentially the Chaos equivalent of the Imperium's Heavy Flamer. The Heavy Warpflamer has a long range compared to its smaller cousins, and it can provide excellent covering (Warp) fire for allied Thousand Sons detachments. Appearance-wise, unlike the two smaller cousins, the Heavy Warpflamer looks more like a mutated Heavy Flamer from ten thousand years ago, which may suggest that the Sorcerers who tend to the Scarab Occult are really good at maintaining their equipment. Due to the size, only the aforementioned [[Rubric Marines#Rubric Terminators|Rubric Terminators]] have the strength to wield one of these with ease – since regular Rubric Marines can carry the similarly sizable Soulreaper Cannons just fine, the weight might have come from the fuel tanks that may have decided themselves that they want to be absurdly heavy, or that the Scarab Occults are the only "worthy" ones to carry them or something. Their opinions aside, they provide a good anti-infantry bonus to an army quite vulnerable to tarpit swarms like those of the Tyranids or the Orks.

As a daemonic weapon, Warpflamers do not really need to worry about fuel as the very nature of the Warp makes it more likely to carry more fuel than the canister might have originally had in store. In the hands of the Thousand Sons, Flamer weapons of this caliber hurl gouts of transmorphic fire that mutates those touched by them, turning them either into an immobile tumor or a [[Chaos Spawn|They-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named]].
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TartarosHeavyFlamer.jpg|<center>Comparison</center>
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===Hellmaw Cannon===
[[File:Hellmaw Cannon.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Hellmaw Cannon]]
The Hellmaw Cannon is a big Flamer weapon installed on the Khornate Daemon Engines we identify as [[Brass Scorpion|Brass Scorpions]].

These Brass Scorpions here are armed with a set of two Hellmaw Cannons mounted on the underside of the beast, located just beneath its Demolisher Cannon. These Khornate weapons are one of the most '''METAL''' things available in a Khornate army – and we mean it <u>LITERALLY</u>. This shit does not spray normal fire (''unsurprisingly, since it's Chaos we're talking about''); instead, it sprays infernal, Warp-fed fire and [[Awesome|molten brass]].

The Hellmaw Cannons are used as assault weapons during sieges, where these large <strike>flame-</strike> '''lava-'''throwers are usually fired into buildings that have been damaged by the Daemon Engine's even larger claws. The Hellmaw Cannons of the Brass Scorpions can be likened to that of a scorpion's fangs, to be exposed to an enemy foolish enough to charge at it up close. The weapons are perfectly suited to the Brass Scorpion's role as an assault vehicle, allowing it to saturate enemy trench lines and tunnels with a wide range of fire and fire that random fire into damaged structures in order to force the garrisoned and fortified enemy out into the open by sheer heat.

Back then, the Hellmaw Cannons were much more visible, but nowadays, they are pretty hidden – only found on the undersides of a Brass Scorpion.
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HellmawCannonFrontal.jpg|<center>Front View</center>
HellmawCannonFront.jpg|<center>Bottom View</center>
Oldschool_Hellmaw.jpg|<center>Apocalypse Model</center>
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===Baleflamer===
[[File:LordDiscordantBaleflamerSide.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Baleflamer]]
A larger, more common and much deadlier Flamer that takes the Flamestorm Cannon one step further in that it shoots even further!

Baleflamers are (as of now) exclusively seen on the [[Heldrake]] Daemon Engines AND the [[Lord Discordant|Arch Lord Discordant]], and they are super effective against almost anything NOT wearing [[Terminator|Terminator Armour]], hiding in [[METAL BAWKSES]], or any equivalent of the two. The weapon takes the shape of a large projector muzzle that is usually located within the Daemon Engine's mouth.

The Baleflamer is fueled by dark Warp fires that burn from within the metallic chest of the beast, and when unleashed, the burning ichor that flows forth and rains down upon the creature's unfortunate target sets flesh and soul alike on fire. Since the Heldrake is more of a general flyer and not a dedicated ground attack craft, the fact that it can use a Flamer weapon, this one in particular, to engage airborne targets suggest that the Baleflamer is viable for installation on other aerial units such as the [[Hell Blade]], though that might be a bad example since the whole set that makes this Flamer work is likely very heavy and impractical for an aircraft that primarily relies on speed as an interceptor. A [[Harbinger]], on the other hand...

It used to be a potent weapon of unrelenting [[Rape|rape]] as it can ignore cover ''and'' fire in a 360 degree radius on a flyer. Now, it has been [[Nerf|nerfed]] to be more balance – still powerful, however, just not as game-breaking as before.
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HeldrakeBaleFlamerBit.jpg|<center>Model</center>
HeldrakeBaleFlamerView.jpg|<center>Front View</center>
Baleflamer.jpg|<center>Side View</center>
HeldrakeBaleFlamerPict.jpg|<center>Pict Capture</center>
LordDiscordantBaleflamerPict.jpg|<center>Lord Discordant</center>
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===Warpfire Flame Cannon===
[[File:FireLordFlameCannon.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Flame Cannon]]
Note: should not be confused with the Imperium's [[Flamer#Flame_Cannon|Flame Cannon]].

This lazily-named "Flame Cannon" is a weapon that betrays its generic nominal nature – as such, some people have taken into calling it the "Warpfire Flame Cannon" in order to avoid confusion and make it sound more awesome. So, the Warpfire Flame Cannon is a type of Flamer weapon that is installed on the Tzeentchian airborne Daemon Engines called [[Doom Wing|Doom Wings]] and the [[Fire Lord of Tzeentch|Fire Lords]].

These daemonically-possessed vehicles are assault aircraft that take the forms of gigantic birds of prey and are completely dedicated to the service of Tzeentch, the Chaos God of Change and Deceit. The Doom Wing is armed with a single Warpfire Flame Cannon located under its avian skull-shaped nose/beak. The Fire Lord, by merit of being larger in size, is armed with two, one on each of its wings. The Warpfire Flame Cannon is special because it fires the eponymous and deadly Warpfire which is capable of being used to strafe ground targets as well as to attack other aircraft in a dogfight. This Warpfire can mutate and turn its victims into the [[Chaos Spawn|nameless ones]] or reduce them into multi-colored gases.

It's a real shame that GW couldn't come up with a more badass name than Flame Cannon; seriously...
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FireLordFLameCannonSide.jpg|<center>Fire Lord (Top)</center>
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{{40k-Chaos-Weapons}}

==Eldar Variations==
Though the [[Imperium]] has by far the most flame weapons, certain aliens also employ them. The Eldar is just one of them.

===Eldar Flamer===
[[File:StormGuardianFlamer.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Eldar Flamer]]
The lazily named Eldar Flamer is the diet-lite version of the Dragon's Breath Flamer by merit of having lower reach and range than the Aspect-exclusive weapon.

As all things Eldar, they are much more advanced than the Imperium's version (Although ''how'' advanced is [[Skub|up to debate]]). They are used by Storm [[Guardian]]s to support their encounters in close-quarters combat, and by Wraithlord constructs as a choice of secondary weapons mounted on their shoulders for assault orientation. As Flamers, they need to have a fuel source. Since conventional Promethium mining is dirty and does not fit to the whole Eldar aesthetics, it is likely that the Craftworld Eldar "cultivate" the fuel for their Flamers.

Unlike Warpflamer which probably has Warp-snuff and/or a fiery Tzeentchian Daemon for fuel, the Eldar's choice for their fuel is likely half and half consisting of legitimate (possibly psycho-organic) base of sublime quality mixed with a little dash of psychic mumbo jumbo, either as the other half of the ingredients or a refining process. It might even smell either like soap or pain depending on what kind of Eldar we're talking about. The Dark Eldar does not seem to employ Flamers in their arsenal, likely because being burned alive has such a high mortality rate – and that is a red flag for one of a few factions in this grimdark universe that actually prefers to take prisoners. (It may also be because of possible nerve damage from fire as various IRL burn victims can attest, thus less torture methods work.) Although they do have a Heat Lance, Melta has more of a control compared to the widespread cleansing Flamer.

Despite the fluff saying otherwise, these Flamers share very little if no difference at all compared to the Imperial Guardsmen/Space Marine/Sisters of Battle standard-issue Flamers. This is obviously an attempt by GW to streamline the Flamer rule and make a blatantly unbalanced game, well, balanced.
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EldarCorsairFlamer.jpg|<center>Eldar Corsair</center>
WarithlordFlamerBit.jpg|<center>Model (Wraithlord)</center>
WraithlordFlamer.jpg|<center>Wraithlord</center>
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===Dragon's Breath Flamer===
[[File:Dragon's_Breath_Flamer.PNG|right|200px|thumb|Dragon's Breath Flamer]]
This flamethrower here is an upgrade to the regular Eldar Flamer used by Exarchs of the [[Fire Dragons]].

This weapon is loyal to its name and can sear anything that gets within range of their wielders. By function, they are similar to the Heavy Flamers employed by the military forces of the Imperium of Man, although in terms of appearance, there is very little difference between that and the regular Eldar Flamer other than the way its fuel canister is attached and a longer nozzle to project the ignited fuel at an increased range – that is to say, it is basically a little larger than the regular Eldar Flamer. As elegant and deceptively fragile-looking as all Eldar devices, the Dragon’s Breath is more sophisticated and efficient than the bulkier Imperial Flamers. It utilizes a trio of rare, highly-compressed chemicals designed to ignite when mixed, forming liquid gouts of flame that arc outward in a deadly spray. The chemicals do not need air for combustion, and the heavy spray adheres to most surfaces, making extinguishing the flames difficult – Eldar napalm, basically. The Dragon’s Breath Flamer must be used in an atmosphere, though that atmosphere does not have to be the standard oxygen-nitrogen mix. The fire can probably burn anything in the air as long as there is something in the air.

An interesting feature to note is that this Flamer, along with the Fire Lance, doesn't have a tube attached to the Aspect Warrior's arm, specifically the elbow. This tube might just be another essential component for Eldar infantry-sized Flamer and Fusion weapons in general to work. Both the Fire Lance and this Dragon's Breath Flamer are depicted on tabletop with the Exarch "holding" it and not in a ready-to-fire kind. Fuegan, however, holds his Firepike by the grip, and there is a tube attached to his arm. To top it off, a Fire Dragon model carries his Fusion Gun by the handguard without a tube attached as he is about to throw a grenade. All in all, this suggests that in order to fire these weapons, it must somehow interact with the user's armour. The ingredient here might be of psychic quality because Eldar. Anywho, it practically exists as a piece of fluff; as while there is an option to give one to a model on the tabletop, so far no one has been dumb enough to actually take that option over the basic Fusion Gun or Fire Lance.
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FireDragonExarchFlamer.jpg|<center>...held by an Exarch</center>
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{{40k-Eldar-Weapons}}

==Ork Variations==
Orks love their flamers just as much as they like their [[Dakka]]. So they have made a few to spare.

===Burna Bottle===
''For more information, see here: [[Grenades & Explosives#Burna Bottle|Burna Bottle]]''

===Burna Bomb===
''For more information, see here: [[Grenades & Explosives#Burna Bomb|Burna Bomb]]''

===Burnas===
[[File:Overfiend-burna.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Burna]]
Not so much a gun as a furious campfire, the Burna is the Orky answer to a need for a [[Flamer]].

Given to [[Burna Boyz|pyromani-orks]], these weapons are devastating, especially if wielded en-masse. Orks being Orks, they always are. They are also explosive due to the huge backpack full of [[meme|propane and propane accessories]] that the wielder, likely an Ork, needs to fuel the weapon. The [[Ork]]s employ Burnas for their flamer-duties. These weapons are unique because they can also be used as cutting torches to deal serious damage in close combat (''AP3 marineopeners ftw! Unfortunately, they can only fire as a flamer or take on a better melee profile, but not both.'').

Because Ork technology emphasizes versatility as seen with the Choppa, the Burna is often used as a construction tool in creating war machines fitting for the Orks. For fuel, Burnas use a rather toxic liquid which is usually a mix of pressured squig-oil and Promethium, home-brewed by the Mekboys, each of whom has his own recipe of the '''''burnin' brew'''''. Like most examples of Ork technology when used by a proper Ork, Burnas are designed to be very robust and can sustain the worst sort of battering. They have to be, given that they are often used in close combat as improvised bludgeons after the '''''burnin' brew''''' runs out. Orks obsessed with fire in particular often equip themselves with Burnas, forming up mobs of Burna Boyz.

They are also essentially a burning gas-can, strapped on a stick, to give you a hint on what they usually look like.
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OrkBurnaBottle.jpg|<center><strike>Molotov</strike> Burna Bottle</center>
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===Splash Burna===
[[File:EC-splash-burna.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Splash Burna]]
The Splash Burna is what happens when you ask a Mek Boy to take parts from a Space Marine plasma weapon and combine them into what we can consider to be a standard Ork Burna.

Not considered to be a kombi weapon, this hybrid functions (''essentially'') like a Plasma Gun, but the fuel source is Promethium home-brewed by the local Meks, rather than the usual hydrogen fuel and/or whatever the Meks use to power their Kustom guns. The coils on it still perform a vital function, however, super heating that same fuel to temperatures extreme even to an average Burna Boy. On the effects themselves, that liquid discharged from the Splash Burna somehow clings better to the unlucky targets, causing greater sustained damage compared to the common '''''burnin' brew'''''. The fuel pack, on the other hand, is extremely precarious and often explodes if shot on. As we all know with most Ork weapons that are at least remotely near on the advanced side of the spectrum, the Splash Burna is prone to mechanical failure and self-destruction. Due to its Plasmic nature, the risks of things going wrong is [[FATAL|absolutely high]]. You may expect a lot of Orks being blown up by their own weapons because of the lack of any cooling ports located/installed on the Splash Burna.

Think of it as a "'''''Plasmathrower'''''" of sort, or a Melta that fires a continuous stream of atomizing radiological masers. Or in any other case, it is the Orkified (''quasi-looted'') version of the Tau's [[Flamer#Tau_Phased_Plasma_Flamer|Phased Plasma Flamer]] in terms of nature, but an Orky Melta in terms of function.
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===Burna Exhaust===
[[File:Burna_Exhaust.JPG|200px|right|thumb|Burna Exhaust]]
The Burna Exhaust is less of a weapon and more of a pyrotechnic display used by the [[Kustom Boosta-Blasta]]; doesn't stop the Orks from using it ''like'' a weapon anyway. These rows of pimped-out V8 exhaust pipes are located on the side of the engine and on the side of the buggy for a total of [[Dakka|12 exhausts on either side of the vehicle.]]

When a Boosta-Blasta charges pass by the target, the trigger-happy [[Grot]] in the passenger seat pulls his fire-lever, causing rows of exhausts lining the vehicle to project tongues of flames that engulf everything nearby. So do Kustom Boosta-blasta leave twin paths of flame in their wake as they hurtle across the battlefield. When an entire mob of these vehicles thunders through enemy lines, they create a fiery trail known as [[Awesome|'da burnin highway'.]] It is a scenario when one can appropriately play High Way to Hell when this thing kicks into gear.

Crunchwise, these are the Kustom Boosta-Blasta's burnas. Range 8" Assault d3 S4 AP0 D1, autohits. You are gonna light up enemy infantry as you do a drive-by barbeque. This is a vehicle you <u>'''DO. NOT.'''</u> want to be around during its [[Rape|movement phase.]]

===Skorcha===
[[File:Skorchas Miniatures.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Skorcha]]
This mechanism here is an Orky version of either the Heavy Flamer or the Inferno Cannon.

The Skorcha, unlike the Burna, is literally a tried and true flame-thrower, a device designed to hurl burning fuel, with a volatile mixture of gases and liquids compressed into a cylinder. When a valve is opened, the mixture is forced through the Skorcha's nozzle and sprayed over a target area, reducing it to burning shambles in seconds. As mentioned, it is basically the Ork's equivalent of a Heavy Flamer, usually mounted on vehicles such as Killa Kans, Grot Tanks or Wartrakk Skorchas; or as a secondary weapon on bigger Ork war machines that seem to be in need of a little dash of pyrotechnics. Skorchas are dangerous, unreliable and spectacular weapons, and so are very popular among Orks who lean towards the hotter side of their usual hobbies. As of the 8th edition, there is now a Kombi-Weapon with its very own mini Skorcha. Yes, you read that right – not a mini Burna, but a mini Skorcha, though it has only enough fuel to fire out the '''''burnin' brew ''''' in only a single shot just like the humie's Exterminator attachment.

Like most flamers in 8th edition, Skorchas are now able to auto-hit targets on the charging phase, make that of what you will as you ain't gonna need it since ''you'' will be the ones charging. The Skorcha/Killa Kan combo can be one of the most devastating assault units available if you play it right, so have fun and cause some chaos.
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KombiSkorchaNob.jpg|<center>Mini Skorcha (Common)</center>
KombiSkorcha.jpg|<center>Mini Skorcha (Meganob)</center>
KillaKanSkorcha.jpg|<center>Killa Kan</center>
DeffDreadSkorcha.jpg|<center>Deff Dread</center>
WartrakkSkorcha.jpg|<center>Wartrakk</center>
GrotMegaTankSkorcha.jpg|<center>Grot Mega Tank</center><center>(Side Turret)</center>
GrotMegaTankTwinSkorcha.jpg|<center>Grot Mega Tank</center><center>(Main Turret)</center>
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===Supa-Skorcha===
[[File:Supa_Skorcha_by_ian_wyatt.PNG|200px|right|thumb|Supa-Skorcha]]
The Skorcha's bigger brother on steroids, for this instance usually mounted on Mekboy Junkas, Mega Dreads and Big Trakks by merit of being too big to carry by typical Orky hands.

These badass mofos are for those Orks who really like to turn the ground into a lake of fire. The Supa-Skorcha is so big that it can only be effectively mounted on the largest of vehicles the Orks manufacture. [[Derp|Despite not having models, there are rules for it in 8th edition]]. Yes, you read that right. Unfortunately, there aren't any official models for the Supa-Skorcha due to GW incompetence.

Fortunately, the beauty of Orks is that you can just kitbash anything and it will still be considered ''cannon/kanon'' to an extent depending the material in question; hence, a lot of modelers have made their own flavors of Supa-Skorchas, more often than not duct-taping various Ork Skorchas or Imperial Flamers together to make a pyromaniac piss himself in glee. On the tabletop, Supa-Skorchas are ridiculous, especially on the Big Trakk for example. On the Big Trakk, this hot thing is a 4D3 weapon that obviously autohits with 24" range S6 and AP-2... God damn. Equip that Trakk with two additional Skorchas and load it with 6 Nobz with Kombi-Skorchas, and you now have a vehicle that can fucking rival an Angel Infernus Land Raider in sheer <u>'''literal'''</u> fire-power.

The only downside of the Supa-Skorcha is that it is quite pricey, and your enemy will most likely target it for immediate destruction.
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===Flamebelcha===
[[File:Flame_Belcha.PNG|200px|right|thumb|right|Flamebelcha]]
The big cheddar cheese of the Ork Flamer family, the equivalent and answer to the Imperium's Inferno Gun, the Flamebelcha is one of the largest known Ork Flamer so far known to the Imperium of Man.

Like the Gaze of Mork, the Flamebelcha is usually mounted on a Stompa's head – whether it is situated in an eye or the mouth of the effigial head of Gork (''or is it Mork''?), it doesn't matter so long as it can bathe and incinerate an entire battalion on fire. Only the Goff Klawstompa variant of the Stompa family is known to utilize this. And given the rarity of Goffs using superheavies in general, it makes the Flamebelcha one of the rarest and least used Ork weapons to date. It is certainly curious that the "Gaze of Mork" does not have its Gorky opposite. Though we can attribute it to the fact that it is the Meks who build the damn Stompas, and so they take priority in which part of the GM they want to revere on them, the fact that pairings such as Gorkanauts and Morkanauts exist derails that sense of exclusiveness.

Since the Goffs – the most Gorky klan out there – do deploy these on their Stompas, it is likely that the Flamebelcha may also be known as the "Gaze of Gork." A valid reason to why they don't just call it like that just like Mork's might just be that the Orks haven't reached a solid conclusion in their race-wide theological debate on whether the Flamebelcha or a really Dakka-friendly Kannon should represent Gork's eye – not every Ork is a [[Burna Boyz|pyromani-ork]].

Currently, there are neither rules nor official models for the Flamebelcha in 8th edition, although there were rules back in 7th edition and Christ ol'mighty was this thing powerful. Essentially, this weapon was a [[Rape|S6 AP3 Hellstorm-template weapon.]] Oh yes, automatic S6 hits, you could say goodbye to most infantry at that point.
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===Splasha Attack Gun===
[[File:Slasha_Attack_Gun.JPG|200px|right|thumb|Splasha Attack Gun]]
The Splasha Attack Gun or the Slasha Attack Gun is possibly the largest Ork incendiary weapon in the game. If the Flame Belcha is considered the big cheddar cheese of the family, then the Splasha Attack Gun is the entire fucking cheese wheel.

As the Splasha Attack Gun is a type of Ork Titan-class Flame Weapon mounted only on the [[Slasher Gargant]]s, it boasts increased range and enough fuel to make an Inferno Gun look impotent. You wanna bathe an entire Hive City on fire, this is the weapon for you. It is double-barrelled for twice the burny power. Moreover, it shares the same name as the Splash Burna, but whether it means that the Splasha Attack Gun is a Plasmathrower hybrid is unknown, [[Anal circumference|but one can imagine the results]]...

Unfortunately, due to GW incompetence, the Splasha Attack Gun is only seen in [[Epic]].
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==Tau Variations==
The space Weeaboos also dishes out a few flame weapons. Though not as [[Awesome|metal]] as the Imperium/Chaos counterparts.
===Tau Flamer===
[[File:Tau_Flamer.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Tau Flamer]]
Used by [[Crisis Battlesuit]]s, [[Ghostkeel Battlesuit|Ghostkeel]], and [[Stormsurge Ballistic Suit|Stormsurge platforms]]; the Tau's usual function for their Flamers is to deter close-ranged attackers, not particularly wiping out hordes.

In order to not be left out on this category since other races seem to have their own Promethium projectors, the Tau Empire's Earth Caste has developed Flamers designed for use as a weapon system for the XV8 Crisis Battlesuits, possibly right after they discovered actual Promethium and figured out the ways to mine and refine it. These same [[XV8 Crisis Battlesuit]]s can also choose to use a twin-linked version of these Flamers, in which case it will take up two of their three available system hardpoints.

Most often equipped when Battlesuit teams are expected to be fighting massed, lightly-armored opponents, Tau Flamers are lethal weapons when used against foes in dense terrain. Due to the nature of said Battlesuits and Tau tactics in general, they are not intended to be used as a primary weapon (''[[Farsight]]'s pyromaniac buddy/possible fangirl Torchstar gives zero shits about this and dual-wields them anyway''). It curiously looks like a toy piece ripped straight out of Lego, which doesn't really make it look 40k. But like all things 40k, this is still a proper, military-grade Flamer that should not be underestimated.

Suffice to say, the designs of the Tau Flamer is one of repetitive [[Fail|facepalms]].
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TauFlamerModel.jpg|<center>Model</center>
TauFlamer.jpg|<center>Standard Variant</center>
TauIridiumFlamer.jpg|<center>XV8-02 Iridium Suit</center>
TorchstarFlamer.jpg|<center>Commander Torchstar</center>
TauTwinFlamer.jpg|<center>Twin-linked Variant</center>
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===''Thermoneutronic Projector''===
[[File:TauFlamerSide.jpg|200px|right|thumb|''Thermoneutronic Projector'' (''Placeholder'')]]
The Tau have found their own way of making a flamethrower fit with the over-the-top nature of this universe.

The Sept responsible for this Flamer's development is Vior'la, home to the most aggressive Fire Warriors and also Commander Farsight as well – no wonder why they're interested with Flamers enough to make a Signature System out of it. Vior’la weapons developers have focused their efforts heavily on Flamer technology, responding to their Commanders’ desire for maximum-impact close-range ordnance. In the context of the Tau, close range is usually synonymous to suicidal. That is how hot-blooded they are, and also the background behind coming up with the ''Thermoneutronic Projector''.

Though the name may suggest that this Flamer uses some kind of elaborate system which somehow turns neutrons into fire, the truth is a bit less elaborate. The ''Thermoneutronic Projector'' uses volatile gases siphoned from the corona of a neutron star to expel a flame capable of searing through the armor plating of a battle tank. The volatile gases themselves are not specifically mentioned, but we can probably say it's better than your average Promethium, which is weird because Neutron stars are ''[[Fist of the North Star|already dead]]'', being the core of a star gone supernova, don't have Coronas anymore, and are slowly cooling down (being ''cold'' for a star); you wouldn't have to go far to harvest these "volatile gases," because most matter in the universe comes from the spent starsplooge. So re-- <span style='color:blue;font-size:115%;font-family:serif'>*Fhwoosh*, NO ONE CARES, gue'la, for Earth Caste Tech [[Awesome#Rule Of Cool|operates far beyond your comprehension.]]</span>

Since this is the proof of concept that the Tau is capable of making flamethrowers that can melt armor, it's only a matter of time before the Tau figures out how to mass produce it.

Despite how hot this Flamer is, it sure didn't save Vior'la when rabid Khornate Berzerkers slaughtered it whole – so that might count as a major setback for this Flamer here.

On the tabletop, the Thermoneutronic Projector is an upgrade to a single flamer, making it S4 AP-2 '''D2''', making it very useful for killing Marines. It also has a dual-function of ''being usable in melee'', giving the bearer D6+2 additional attacks in melee with the same profile. As a prototype non-Relic, a Tau Commander can equip both the Projector and an Onager Gauntlet (which no longer limits you to a single donkey punch), meaning you now have at least one T'au unit (besides Farsight) that is actually dangerous in melee. The only drawback is that even though it is a flamer, you must roll to hit with the Projector, shooting or not.
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===Phased Plasma-Flamer===
[[File:TauPhasedPlasmaSide.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Tau Phased Plasma Flamer]]
Trust the people at Games Workshop to make a Gatling version of any weapon, however inappropriate it is...

The Phased Plasma Flamer is a triple-barreled Gatling Flamer mounted on Y'Vahra Battlesuits. Loyal to its name, this Flamer shoots out fire so hot it can be mistaken as Plasma and burns through Terminator Armour – a suit that is designed to work inside their equivalent of a nuclear reactor – and turns a marine inside it to crisp in a split second. Much like Imperial Flame Cannons and the Chaos Baleflamers, it spurts out fire at a considerable distance. By appearance, it is similar to the triple-barreled Flamer used by the Knight Valiants. Unlike the Conflagration Cannon, this Flamer actually has individual pilot lights for each of the barrels.

A thing to note about its name is the very fact that it is a "Phased Plasma" weapon. The Tau is not the only one with that kind of technology. The Imperium also has a Phased Plasma Fusil which is basically a more reliable Plasma weapon simply because it is "Phased," which is fitting to the Tau's technological aesthetics which consists of experimentality AND reliability, and so they use it in their arsenal; and it seems that only they have the eccentricity to combine the latter part with Flamer and turn it into a "Plasma-Flamer", out of all things, like the Orks. It is comparable and more efficient than the Splash Burna of the Orks; that is, without the chances of it blowing up at your face if you accidentally nudge a loose screw or something.

Have we mentioned that the Plasma-Flamer fires in bursts? Because it does. Your army is now officially fucked.
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TauPhasedPlasmaFront.jpg|<center>Front View</center>
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==Necron Variations==
The Necrons only have one kind of Flamer, [[Rape|but one is all they fucking need]].
===Gauntlet of Fire===
[[File:Necron_Gauntlet_of_Fire.PNG|200px|right|thumb|Gauntlet of Fire]]
A Gauntlet of Fire is a Necron weapon that takes the form of an armored glove and vambrace, that is to say a gauntlet, that crackles and flows with viridian flame.

The Gauntlet’s mechanisms are controlled by a series of sub-mechadermal filaments, giving the wielder a level of control over the Gauntlet-Flamer as fine as that over his own hand. A Gauntlet of Fire is capable of firing a [[Awesome|great column of green flame,]] with similar effects compared to an Imperial Flamer. It can also be used in close combat in the form fiery fist that is more likely to hit and harm the foe, as well as set them alight for a time. Gauntlets of Fire are weapons found exclusively as part of the armouries of Necron royals which have a "Lord" in their names such as Necron Overlords, Necron Lords, and Necron Destroyer Lords.

Since it only fires in a Flamer-ish template, do not expect your Lord to be shooting fireballs and the like. He is only going to spill out fire like a normal Flamer. Since it is kind of one-of-a-kind in terms of appearance – without a blatantly obvious barrel to speak of like the Flamestorm Gauntlet – this Gauntlet does raise a question on where the flame part of the Flamer actually comes from. If you look closely at the palm, there is a small nozzle which presumably projects out the fire in question. The spherical crest-thingy on the back of the hand is likely the mindbogglingly advanced fuel source which may last until the end of time before it needs to be swapped.

As far as the tabletop's concerned, it is a Flamer that also allows its user to reroll to hit and to wound in melee. So, why don't you remember it? Because any decent melee-fighting Necron is not going to leave his Warscythe at home, duh. <s>You may see some more in 7th now that they can bring BOTH</s>. As of 8th Edition's ''Index Xenos 1'', nobody else can take one except our Imotekh here.
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NecronGauntletFireBack.jpg|<center>Side View</center>
NecronFireGauntletTop.jpg|<center>Front View</center>
NecronGauntletFirePict.jpg|<center>Pict Capture</center>
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===''Gauntlet of the Conflagrator''===
[[File:GauntletOfTheConflagratorPlaceholder.PNG|200px|right|thumb|''Gauntlet of the Conflagrator'' (''Placeholder'')]]
Fortunately for the Necrons of this edition who don't get to wear a Gauntlet of Fire anymore, there is still one another Gauntlet that shoots out fire.

Unfortunately, the fire in question is only worth a single shot for the rest of your Necron army's deployment. Crafted by the Cryptek with the eponymous title, Harri’apt the Conflagrator, this gauntlet uses interdimensional energy-exchangers to open a microscopic conduit to the raging heart of a star. The superheated plasmic flame that erupts through this hole is forced down a cone of hyperdense gravitons that spew the energy forth in a blazing split-second cloud of unstoppable fury. The ''Gauntlet of the Conflagrator'' here probably has a significant levels of insulation. Even if it's just for a split-second, this is still many millions worth in Kelvin we're dealing with here at the very least. For comparison, our bodies (''assuming that the reader is human'') are merely 300-ish Kelvin, and lava is at only about 1500-ish Kelvin.

This is just the first part, the next thing you want to do with a portal that spews out extremely hot stuff is making sure it's spewing out at the correct direction. This is where fairly potent gravity waves come in to dictate where exactly that hot stuff that managed to make it through the portal has to go. Opening a portal as well as maintaining super gravity for a moment? Yeah, that sounds like something that will empty a super advanced battery in that same moment.

The ''Gauntlet of the Conflagrator'' is a testament to the fact that the Necrons have long figured out '''''the way''''' to use portal guns; imagine mobility gels, but instead of moving you, they melt you through and through.
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{{40k-Necron-Weapons}}

==Tyranid Variations==
The Nids also only have one variation. Although seeing how fire spoils some important genetic materials, it is understandable why they only need one variation. Too bad that one variation has a notoriety for being [[FAIL|terribad]] until 8th ed.
===Flamespurt Cannon===
[[File:Flamespurt_Cannon.PNG|200px|right|thumb|Flamespurt Cannon]]
Used by the [[Pyrovore|Pyrovores]], [[Derp|these Biomorphs are notable for being smarter than the creatures that carry them]].

The Pyrovore is a little more than an ambulatory digestive system installed within a squat and vicious body, containing nothing that does not serve it in sating the Great Devourer’s hunger. Its role within the Tyranid swarms is to find the choicest morsels on the world the Hive Fleet happens to be in the middle of consuming, from living flesh to exotic minerals required by the strange leviathans in orbit above it.

Basically, the beast ''om nom noms'' the [[Cake|delicious biomass]] and makes it ready for easy digestion. Now, this is where the Flamespurt comes in. As a form of self-defense and/or offensive measure, it presumably uses that same digested matter as fuel to [[/d/|ejaculate out hot, sticky liquid at the opposing foe]]. Although similar, it is unlikely for these flames to be considered a proper Bio-plasma the Tyranids are so fond of – most of their organic platforms that do use that kind of Biomorph are dedicated to fighting whatever that is going to be digested soon enough, while a Pyrovore is more of a platform for gathering resources that is both tough and capable of contributing to the battle if the need arises. Since the Tyranid fleets back in Battlefleet Gothic has a "Pyro-acid Battery" among their arsenal, this Pyro-acid here might just be the refined fuel used by the Flamespurt.

Thanks to 8th edition, they are now basically Heavy Flamer equivalents that are Assault; meaning, you can run and shoot with them on a fairly durable and cheap platform which also packs a decent punch in melee. Nice.
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FlamespurtPict.jpg|<center>Pict Capture</center>
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[[Category:Chaos]]