Editing Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter

[[Image:GORGUTZ 'EAD 'UNTER.png|thumb|right|The one and only.]]'''Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter''' is an [[Ork]] <strike>Warboss</strike> <span style='color:green;font-size:115%'>WARLORD!! YA GIT</span>, and one of the primary recurring characters of the [[Dawn of War]] games, having featured in every expansion since his introduction in [[Dawn of War#Winter Assault|Winter Assault]]. Awesomely, he is the leader of the Ork faction in each expansion. While not short of [[Gork|traditional Ork virtues]], Gorgutz is [[Mork|unusually crafty for an Ork]], and always ensures he has some method of escaping in the event that whatever [[WAAAGH]] he is leading happens to be defeated, conveniently reappearing some time later at the head of another WAAAGH (and in another expansion) somewhere else in the galaxy. Gorgutz and Kaptin Bluddflagg are probably tied with Eliphas for the best fucking awesome characters ever.

Gorgutz takes the appellation "'Ead 'Unter" thanks to his fondness for collecting the decapitated heads of significant foes. When questioned why he collects his foes' heads, he replied that heads look better  impaled upon sharp sticks than feet do. A true philosophical genius.

As listening to any of his dialogue would probably indicate, Gorgutz is also exceptionally witty, which must surely be frustrating when the overwhelming majority of the company he keeps isn’t clever enough to understand, or appreciate, his wordplay. If he still had hands capable of such a precise gesture, you just know he’d be rubbing his temples and muttering “I’m surrounded by gitz.” He probably relishes fighting more intelligent races just as much for a chance at some proper verbal sparring as much as for the fight itself

It is worth noting that Gorgutz was voiced by Brian Drummond. Who is notable as the voice of [[Anime|Vegeta in Dragonball Z]] and is the creator of [[Meme|OVER 9000]]!! Whether this is hilariously awesome or fail is a matter of some contention, though [[/tg/|experts]] espouse that it's both (and thus both fail ''and'' hilariously awesome). Fittingly enough, Gorgutz' HP does indeed go over 9000 when he's upgraded with wargear, which is either a [[This Guy|clever reference]] or [[That Guy|derp]] depending on who you ask.

And now, as of Dawn of war 3, Gorgutz is canonically the victor of Soul Storm. WAAAAAGH! indeed.  He ends up being the one who gets the Spear of Khaine at the end of Dawn of War 3. However, the status on how ''true'' that is (Especially giving the sheer unreliability of WH40K fluff with the whole 'everything is propaganda and subjective in nature' shlick) has caused an immense of [[Skub]] and [[Rage]] among [[Vance Stubbs]] fans.

Hilariously, Michael Dobson, who voiced [[Crull]] in Winter Assault also provided the voice for Nappa in DBZ, so you have Nappa and Vegeta back together screaming threats and insults at one another via proxy.  
[[File:ORKZ ARE DA BEST.png|thumb|right|If you listen closely, you can hear the outrage of countless [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]] fans.]]

==On the Issue on Dawn of War 3==

As mentioned, [[Dawn of War III]] has been a cauldron of [[Skub]], [[Rage]], [[Butthurt]] and [[Wat]] or wrapped in one nice package. None could be better represented then Gorgutz' portrayal in the game and the whole Karauva revelation.

If Gorgutz is the canonical winner of Soulstorm, why is he serving another Warboss at the beginning of Dawn of War 3? If the git takes over an entire system, why doesn't he have his own Ork empire instead of stealing another boss's Waaagh?

Another issue. The Blood Ravens survivors are canonically allowed to leave Karauva, as evidenced by Cyrus himself. Due to the Warp storm trapping everyone in Karauva for the duration of the conflict, it is impossible for the Blood Ravens to escape unless they are allowed to. That isn't something that would happen if the Orks win, they would have hunted down every single remaining Bloody Magpies for sport. This leaves a giant, gaping plot hole that makes everyone scratch their heads. If Gorgutz did conquered the entire Karauva system, he would have reached [[Warlords|Warlord]] status and really, should not have left his entire force stationed in the star system. Gorgutz should not need some convoluted plot to [[Sindri|Sindri'id]] Warboss Gitstompa, he already has the forces needed to make Gitstompa bend over and heel. Yet, he relinquish his status and became Gitstompa's bitch (If only temporarily) and left his boyz to run their own things on Karauva, [[Not As Planned|which will most likely elect a new Warboss in Gorgutz' absence and most likely become Gorgutz' unintentional rival.]] If that's the case, this would be the most [[Heresy|Un-Orkiest]] thing Gorgutz has ever done and would be completely out of character as it makes Gorgutz look...weak. [[Skub|Whether this can be blamed on how poor Dawn of War 3's story telling is or Relic trying to brush up the ending of Soulstorm only to create even ''MOAR'' plot holes in the process is up to debate.]]

So in short, make of this what you may and don't jump instantly to any conclusion

[[Image:Gorgutz Closeup.png|thumb|right|WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!]]

==Anuvva retelling==
<span style='color:green;font-size:115%'>Gorgutz was da biggest and da strongest Ork on dat dere iceworld of Lorn V and he thought it would be fun to smash up dose spiky boy [[Chaos]] gits. Just as he wuz getting started on dat dough dem scrawny [[Imperial_Guard|Imperial Guard]] boyz showed up an’ Gorgutz realised dat deir leada had enough [[General_Sturnn|Grit]] ta make a much better head fur ‘is pointy-stick. 'As to be the 'ead as dat is where tha skull iz, and you’d look pretty stupid with someones foot on yer stik.</span> 

<span style='color:green;font-size:115%'>Tings went quite well, dere was some good fighting and poncy [[Eldar]] and some of dose [[Necron]]-boyz showed up to get deir stompin’ but dere were not enuff heads on Gorgutz’s stik so he decided to head for Kronos.</span>

''(According to the plotline for Dawn of War: Dark Crusade General Alexander was sent to Kronus in pursuit of Farseer Taldeer. This means Gorgutz did not get her head and probably did not get General Sturnn’s or Alexander would have had that as a second reason for the pursuit. He did get Crull's skull, though, because Eliphas wanted to take it back from him. It's complicating still, because both Taldeer's and Sturnn's heads can be seen on a pointy fence sticks just outside his base.)''

<span style='color:green;font-size:115%'>Kronus wuz fun. Not only were dere more pointy Chaos boyz to fight, dere were also [[Space Marines]] and some of those [[Tau]] wusses. Wuz great fun watching a Squiggoth and a Greata Knarlox 'avin' a fight. Dose Eldar came back, an' dere was more Necron boyz to fight. Only problem wuz dat some of those Imperial Guard wimps had followed and Gorgutz had enuff normal humie heds already. Den dose Space Marines spoiled the fun more by beating up da Imperial Guard insteda leaving dem for Gorgutz’s boyz and den by being rather too good at beating up Gorgutz’s boyz as well. 'ad to blow up da base and go froo da tunnels.</span>

''(According to the plotline for Dawn of War II it was the Blood Ravens who attacked and conquered Victory Bay and as the Kronus Campaign is remembered as going well and their goal of recovering relics seemed to have been achieved the Blood Ravens likely won on Kronos. Boo. At least Gorgutz had a little fun.)''

<span style='color:green;font-size:115%'>Dere were some super tough Orks on a planet in the Kor-ruvva system but dey were da ones dat kept on running back to dere Ork-hold in sum mountains whenevva dey got a little beat up. Gorgutz decided to go and see if they could be made more Orky. Dis was a mixed success as all-dough dey managed to beat up sum Space Marine gitz de Imperial Guard boyz were ravva tuff an’ had a lot of dem big dakka tanks. Still, if dose Orks could be beaten up by humies dey were not much loss so after killing their leada' Gorgutz wandered off to find da next fight.</span>

''(According to the plotline for Dawn of War II the Blood Ravens remember [[Indrick_Boreale|Commander Boreale's]] campaign in the Kaurava system with shame, which they would if rather than the Blood Ravens dealing with the Ork problem the Orks dealt with them. [[Vance_Motherfucking_Stubbs|Vance Stubbs]] though shipped a hundred [[Baneblade|Baneblades]] to other provinces, which makes about 4 for every territory on the map and even De mighty Gorgutz could only beat up three at a time, which left the other one to beat up the rest of his army, unless dose tankbustaz boys were in da right places.  Which they were, given that Gorgutz is the canon winner.)''

Gorgutz never reappeared in Dawn of War II, having been replaced by two Warboss Bonesmasha's, and then the Kunnin' Kaptin Bluddflagg. We can only hope that Gorgutz hires out Kaptin Bluddflagg in Dawn of War III. On that note, there's no word on Bluddflagg yet, but Dawn of War III has been announced. <span style='color:green;font-size:115%'> Guess who'z back, ya grots and squigs!</span> Dawn of War III revealed that he's coming back along with Gabriel Angelos and Farseer Macha, and with all three races supposedly having their own story  play out through the campaign you can already count on ol' Gorgutz completely stealing the show. Also, it seems that he is now a Bad Moon, replaced his regular Ork Power Klaw with what looks like a [[Defiler|Defiler's]] [[Awesome|close combat weapon]] <strike>and has evidently re-grown his left hand</strike> <span style='color:green;font-size:115%'>I NEVA LOST MY LEFT ARM IT WAS UNDER ARMUR YA GROTZ ZOGGING 'ELL I FOUGT DAT STUPID WAZ DA ONLY GIT I AD TA DEAL WIV.</span>, or at the very least got a cybork replacement. [[Image:Gorgutz.jpg|thumb|right|His DoW I appearance.]]

== Combat Ability ==
When Gorgutz gets all his wargear in Dark Crusade and Soulstorm he is absolutely fucking deadly in combat as he has an absolutely FUCKHUEG hit point count (somewhat bigger in Dark Crusade than in Soulstorm as his Banner increased his health in the former game but not the latter) which can be made even larger by getting the tougher bosses upgrade, he will be ridiculously fast (for someone with such stubby legs like him any way), do FUCKHUEG amounts of damage to all armor types in melee, deal huge amounts of damage at range (270 something per hit... that is if he could hit while moving... damn 15% on the move accuracy), does constant Morale damage with his skull rack and will count as two Waaagh! Banners with the banner (duh), but in Soulstorm he will also decrease the recruiting time of your units, which is awesome as it allows you to crank out Orks more quickly.  

Gorgutz is capable of beating any-other fully-upgraded commander in Dawn of War with five exceptions: Either Necron Lord, should they take Lightning Field, Will do the bulk of Gorgutz' meaty damage back to him and ergo fuck Gorgutz' shit up (especially if he has Phylactery as well) and he can simply obliterate Gorgutz if he uses the essence of the Nightbringer ((Actually the fully upgraded necron lord will pretty easily kill pretty much any of the other commanders in a fair fight, especially with the right artifacts, and especially in soulstorm where he becomes even more ridiculously overpowered)), and [[Eliphas]] is capable of flat-out demolishing even Gorgutz due to his knockback immunity and access to Daemonic strength and higher raw damage. [[Firaeveus Carron|Carron]] isn't quite as capable of fucking up Gorgutz' shit, because he isn't as powerful in melee (Eliphas is ''considerably'' stronger damage-wise, in exchange for Carron being able to inflict a lot more morale damage), but he can still mess Gorgutz up, coming away with slightly more HP at the end of a fight between the two (again, knockdown immunity). In a raw range-vs-range fight, Gorgutz can beat [[Shas'o Kais]] if he has his Kustom Shoota if Kais lacks upgrades, but will lose to him if he has either the launcher or Iridium Armor, and will reliably get utterly trashed in ranged combat by [[Commander Or'es'Ka]].

Ironically, the Daemon Prince forms of both Carron and Eliphas are incapable of defeating Gorgutz in close-combat due to Gorgutz' high anti-Daemon damage. Finally, [[Caerys]] in Soulstorm is capable of being a cheesy cunt, since her upgraded pistol can one-shot kill Gorgutz if he gets under 20% HP, which makes sense considering it [[Eldrad|belonged to a huge dick]]. Of course, if you are lucky you can kill her before it ever gets to that.  

He will be able to practically steamroll entire bases on his own and will be an excellent commander killer, and in a pinch he can really help out when you take on those pesky relic units. He has two indestructible modes, ranged and attached to Flash Gitz, or melee and attached to Nobs. Both are totally rapetastic.

{{Ork-Gitz}}

[[Category: Dawn of War]]