Editing Lizardmen

The '''Lizardmen''' are a faction in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles]]. They are a race of Aztec/Inca-like, [[Chaos]]-hating, reptilian creatures that live in [[Lustria]], the Warhammer World's analogue to South America.

==History==

Way back when the [[Old Ones#Warhammer Fantasy|Old Ones]] entered the world, they decided they'd need some extra help in <s>messing this world up</s> guiding this world to its destiny. So, they created the first of the Lizardmen, the Slann. The Slann are obese but highly-magical frog-men that spend most of their days sitting around meditating. The Old Ones, realizing the Slann wouldn't be useful for much when it came to manual labor, then created the rest of the Lizardmen, including the Saurus, Skinks, and Kroxigor. They then left the Lizardmen to make some [[elf|pointy-eared faggots]], [[dwarf|dwarfs]], and [[human]]s. 

However, the Fall of the [[Eldar]] then happe-- wait a minute, wrong universe. <s>Or is it?</s> The [[Webway|dimensional gate]] the Old Ones had come through collapsed, crashing into the north of the Warhammer World and opening a portal to the <s>[[Warp]]</s> [[Realm of Chaos]]. The Lizardmen and Elves had to team up to defeat the [[Daemon]]s that started pouring through the portal. Eventually the Elves managed to redirect the flow of magic into a portal at the center of the island home, [[Ulthuan]], but not before much awesomeness on the part of the Lizardmen. 

Lizardmen for the most part are fairly primitive by the standards of the Warhammer world. Even orcs can take iron and forge it into new choppas and make chariots. Lizardmen mostly use stone tools and weapons with some bronze bits here and there. This might lead you to underestimate them in battle, but the fact that they use stone swords is a secondary consideration when you consider that the ones wielding them are three meter long semi-sapient therapod dinosaurs with really durable scales. One area where they do make a lot of use of metalworking is in gold plates, which they have a lot of. These they use to keep records and important bits of information on because they live in damp stone cities in the middle of rainforests where paper would fairly quickly rot away. Other species, for reasons the Lizardmen have a hard time understanding, have an odd obsession for this yellow metal beyond simply valuing its corrosion resistance and try to steal these plates to melt them down. This really gets under their scales.

Fairly isolated, their main problems are emo elves to the north and regular human pirates and colonists. They also have a long-standing fured against [[furry|Skavens]]. Their cities have a shitload of gold, so when they're not in the mood, they usually contract Estalian and Tilean mercs to do their dirty work. They are also similar to [[Tomb Kings|tomb kings]] and [[Grandpa Dreadnought]] with their "get the hell off my lawn" policies.

==Mating Habits==

While this will certainly disappoint the scalies out there, oddly enough Lizardmen don't have any. No joking. Despite being called Lizard''men'', the entire species (or whatever it's called given that speciation is determined by a lack of reliable inter-fertility between two populations) is composed of genderless individuals to whom sexual reproduction is as alien as a 360-degree field of view is to a human. 

But this begs a question. If they don't have any functional reproductive organs then how do new Lizardmen come about?

Well, there are big, bubbling pools of murky liquid at the heart of each temple-city. These were created by the Old Ones at the dawn of time and scheduled to produce new Lizardmen on a timetable unknowable to any but the long-gone Old Ones. The new Lizardmen walk fully formed out of the pools and are instinctively able to understand their role in society. Each new batch (or Spawning) is usually composed of one specific type of Lizardman and has traits which are distinctly of that batch. Needless to say, as they are the foundation of their civilization, the Lizardmen are very protective of these pools, especially since they can't build more and don't really know how to repair the ones that get broken (usually due to Skaven involvement). If you get close to one (''if'' you get close to one), you will almost certainly get your face eaten. [[Tyranids|Hey, that sounds familiar...]]

It should also be noted that all Lizardmen are biologically immortal. They don't age, they simply get stronger and more skilled at what they do. So their attrition rates are lower than humans. It also means that the greatest Lizardmen warriors are centuries, if not millenia old and are veterans of thousands of battles. [[Orks|Hey, That also sound familiar...]]

==Subspecies==

Like Orcs and beastmen, Lizardmen are divided into a number of distinct subspecies, each fulfilling a distinct role in society and in battle.

===Slann===

The '''Slann''' are the obese, magic frogs we were talking about above. They're among the most powerful wizards in the entirety of the Warhammer World. In previous Lizardmen army books, they had a more active role in leading the species, but apparently they are now more sleepy. Also, there are no longer any more Slann being spawned, so the ones a alive are part of a dying species... welp, [[grimdark]].

===Saurus===

'''Saurus''' are the main footsoldiers of the Lizardmen and, by and large, the "face" of the army. A "face" that could rip a man in half. They may seem slow and dimwitted, but don't let that fool you, it's not that they're dumb, they just only care about warfare.

Saurus themselves have a few variations, depending on their spawnings. Most of them are regular warriors with colour variations (some of which are taken as signs of greatness, like albinism for Gor-Rok). The two main variations of Saurus are!
* '''Temple Guard''': An elite group of Saurus, spawned to instinctively guard the temples and Slann, their spawning has ingrained this purpose so much they've been know to kill a Skink helper just because he looked at a Slann funny.
* '''Cold One Riders''': Saurus with the ability to get near, control and ride Cold Ones into battle. They produce the same smell as their mounts and have adapted for their feet's claws to grip Cold One' scales more efficiently.

===Skinks===

'''Skinks''' are the smallest type of Lizardmen and the smartest save for Slanns. They act as the administrators and artisans of Lizardmen society. Despite their small size (roughly the same as a [[Goblin]]), they can be a formidable military force, as they have highly-accurate poisoned blowpipes. They are also the caretakers for most of the dinosaurs used by the Lizardmen, and thus are [[Awesome]].

===Kroxigor===

'''Kroxigor''' are to skinks what Ogres are to [[Halfling]]s (at least in the Warhammer World): giant powerful but dumber versions. They're essentially giant bipedal crocodiles who spawned at the same time and in the same ponds as skinks. They're the main workers and builders of the Lizardmen. In war, they work together with Skinks, forming units termed "Skrox" by the fans.

==DINOSAWZ==

Lizardmen are also known for their use of dinosaurs found on their native continent of Lustria. Thus they have the best monsters and cavalry period. Dinosaurs bitch. Like fucking Jurassic Park.

===Stegadons===

Probably the most well known dinosaur used by the Lizardmen, this stubborn, motherfucking Triceratops hits like a freight train and can trample all who oppose the Lizardmen underneath his feet. They usually carry Howdahs on their back which include a Skink crew, and a FUCKHUEG bow. As the stegadons age, their tempers cool and they will be able to carry either 2 massive blowpipes which fire buckets of dice, or a mystical Engine of the Gods that can buff, or shoot lightning bolts like a [[video games|Red Alert]] Tesla coil. Strangely, it seems to be named after a <s>Stegosaurus</s> or the Stegodonts (an ancient sister groups to mammoths and elephants)...this goes to show how little GW knows about Paleontology, despite seeming more like a Triceratops mixed with an Ankylosaurus and a Styracosaurus. And for more added scientific fail, if you put the name "Stegadon" in biological classification, then it would literally be called [[What|"Roofed Tooth"]] (Tooth: ''δόντι = Donti'' | Roof: ''στέγη = Stegi'' )[[Derp|, I mean lolwut GW?]] [[Herp|if you want to name something, at least put a name that would actually make sense in correlation to the creature you are naming it in the first place.]]

===Carnosaurs===

[[RIP AND TEAR]] This guy is based on the large and awesome therapod dinosaurs like Tyrannosaurus, Giganatosaurus, and Allosaurus, and can rip the throats out of Dragons (Since Dragons are for pussies). Only the beardliest of Saurus (which is saying something as saurus are reptiles and don't grow hair) can ride them, as even the babies can rip a human in half. Also, they spill blood in the name of the Old-ones and don't give a shit about that pushover [[Khorne]] faggot. If you field one or more of these in your army, make sure you play the song "I'm a motherfucking T-rex!"-courtesy of the Nostalgia Critic. And as the old saying goes from TVTropes, Everything is better with Dinosaurs.

===Troglodons===

Looks like a Blind ''Spinosaurus aegyptiacus'', freaking [[Awesome|awesome]] and anybody would pay money to see it fight a Carnosaur Jurassic Park style. But knowing how it goes, we can see the Carnosaurs win every time since Spinosaurids are weak and dismal. For some reason a Skink can ride them. This is because they team up and search for the lost plaques of the Old-Ones in a 1970's buddy cop film. 

===Bastiladons===

The Lustrian equivalent of Ankylosaurus mixed with a Scutosaurus, the walking tank of dinosaurs, and the first recipient of a 2+ Scaly Skin save.  Even a big Dragon, T-rex (ahem, CARNOSAUR), or Greater Daemon sometimes struggle to get through.

===Cold Ones===

Not to be confused with the [[Old Ones]], Cold Ones are basically [[Awesome|velociraptors-like animals that are used as cavalry.]] They are also used by the [[Dark Elves (Warhammer)|Dark Elves]], who have much cooler Cold Ones. The official, in-universe explanation for this discrepancy is that the two types are related-but-distinct breeds of Cold One; the cool ones are native to [[Naggaroth]] and based off of irl Velociraptors, whereas the derpy ones are native to [[Lustria]] and based off of Spinosauroids. But mostly this is due to [[Games Workshop]] being too lazy to update old models.

===Horned Ones===

A relative of the Cold Ones that are rare in Lustria, but prominent in the Southlands (the Warhammer World equivalent of Africa). They are distinguished from their counterparts by the fact that they are smarter, slightly faster and are based upon ''pachycephalosaurus'' with sharp teeth. They used to have their own models, known as Tichi-Huichi's Horned One Riders, serving as a unit in Dogs of War armies. Lizardmen mercenaries? Do want!

===Salamanders===

Not technically a Dinosaur but is still [[Awesome|awesome]]. The models seem to be based off of Dimetrodon (again not really a dinosaur) and shoot flaming poison like living artillery.

===Razordons===

Looks like what would happen if a Kentrosaurus was on steroids. Shoots out spikes at [[Memes| Sufficient Velocity]]. Very nasty, and usually has the side affects of being pinned to a wall like a "Lets pin the tail of a Donkey" game.

===Terradons===

Not a Dinosaur, just an average looking Pteranodon, nothing to look at, but are still useful as fast, flying cavalry. Their new models are also very sexy, unlike their retarded brothers.

===Ripperdactyls===

Just look at the name. GW is really phoning it in now aren't they. Otherwise, its a Pterosaur similar to the Terradon but with more of a basis in Pterosaurs like Rhamphorhynchus. There are also the shittiest excuse for Monstrous Cavalry ever. Coupled with the shitty name and pretty poor models, there is reason to believe that they only exist to make plastic Terradons a dual kit and to give monstrous cavalry to the Lizardmen since plans for Carnosaur Cavalry were probably scrapped in favor for a new large Carnosaur kit on short notice.

===More Dinosaurs===
Since the Lizardmen have pretty much every iconic Dinosaur, the only thing they are missing now is a massive Sauropod like ''Amphicoelias fragillimus''...That . Would . Be . [[Awesome|Awesome]]. A Thunder-Lizard perhaps? Otherwise they could add it as the Arcanadon which used to exist back from the Lustria Sourcebook (although it is still in the fluff.)

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer/Tactics/Lizardmen|Tactics/Lizardmen]]
[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]

==Gallery==
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<gallery>
File:FUCK YOU CHAOS.jpg|Play Lizards. Or I'll cut you.
File:Slann and their Magical Force Fields.jpg|Look into this frog's eyes.  He's half-asleep, probably drunk, and he's ''still'' going toe-to-toe against a Lord of Change in a magic fight.
File:A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.jpg|A typical Lizardmen city.
File:ThunderLizard.jpg|Please GW. I beg you. ADD THIS (Even if it's ripping off Dinotopia, with some change it'd be a good original idea)
File:ScaliePorn.png|Even Lizards need to beat one off sometimes.