Editing Rules Lawyer

[[Image:Objection.jpg|thumb|right|Objection! I was not in range to take that d6 of damage!]]

''"Rules lawyers are a common breed of gamer that basically exist to make sure that every single game you ever wanted to play takes four times as long.  You want to just take the hit, make your fortitude save, and move on? Too bad, the rules lawyer is arguing with the DM about how many people can physically fit in a single five-foot-square, just so his character doesn't have to take [[Dice|d6]] damage from the poison arrow trap.  You want to assault your opponent's Fire Warriors with your leaping Hormagaunts?  Well boo for you, you moved that one model too far during the movement phase; you need to move it back until it conveniently no longer has charge range.  The rules lawyer is a [[Vampire|vampire]], sucking all the fun out of [[The Game|the game]], and the sooner you drive a stake through his withered husk, decapitate and bury his body, and never speak of him again, the happier everyone will be."''
:- [[Butthurt|Faggot McStoner after the 11th time he has been called out for not knowing the rules to the game the group is playing]]/[[Rage|Angry Gamer with a legitimate grievance against]] [[That Guy]]

;A '''Wargamer''' speaks:
Rules Lawyers are there to ensure everyone is actually playing the game properly and not inadvertently cheating.  In competitive games this is more important than cooperative games.  In a game of [[Pretend|40k]], letting a unit arbitrarily make an assault when it is not entitled to is cheating and makes any victory that results in it invalid, and anyone who takes pleasure from it [[Rage|a massive bitch.]] Rules lawers are only a problem if they go overboard, grinding a game to a halt over petty bullshit like an Intimidate check on kobolds who are about to die anyway.

;A '''Roleplayer''' speaks:
Rules lawyers are usually [[That Guy]] at the table, who is gonna get [[butthurt]] when you handwave a mechanic that is essential to their min/max [[munchkin]] build.  They truly believe that [[Rule Zero]] is a blasphemy, and can't act in-character for shit.  They'd rather roll Diplomacy checks than negotiate with an NPC at the table.  They don't care whether anyone else at the table is having fun, they don't care whether their nitpicky, fussy, little corrections actually matter to the outcome of the game, and whenever they open their stupid gobs and thick books all the other players groan and know that things are going to come to a crashing halt, and that what little time they have to enjoy their hobby each week is about to get sucked into some sort of [[FATAL|gigantic cosmic black-ass-hole]].

Like all lawyers, rules lawyers end up in hell where they are assigned to make sure Faustian pacts don't have loopholes that can be exploited by the pact-ee.

==See Also==
[[Ultramarines]]


[[Category: RAGE]]
[[Category: Roleplaying]]
[[Category: Skub]]
[[Category: Gamer Slang]]