Editing Where a Kid Can Be a Kid

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= History =

Once up ons a time, Chuck E. Cheese posted a declaration of war on /tg/. This caused one fa/tg/uy to remember the time he lost a cheapy plastic ring with his name on it at a Chuck E. Cheese's ball pit, and one thing led to another...

= Writefaggotry =

At first the children stared at me as I walked into the pit. When I was last here, I was one of them, and I lose something special to me. 

Parents gave me odd looks, but I put on my "This is serious business never fear" face, and they were reassured. Even the deepest part of the pit only came up to my kneecaps, but that did not matter. I knew the portal was here... someplace.

I dropped to my knees and began to feel the bottom of the pit, but as with all of these evil contraptions they did not work as they should, while my legs found firm ground to stand on, my hands could never touch the bottom. It only took a moment, but I soon figured out what must be done.

I heard gasps and screams as concerned parents pulled their children from the pit as I began to dig and bury myself upside down in the endless multi-colored balls. Eventually I was upside down, and all the patrons could see were my legs slowly sinking into a rainbow hell. 

I know not what awaits me on the other side, but I shall find my ring, and that giant Rat. And Bloody revenge will be mine.

When I felt like my arms could no longer dig any deeper, and my heart beat in my chest like a drum, I thought about giving up and turning around, to try and climb back to the world I knew, but before I could find a way to wiggle myself right side up, I felt something grab my leg, and tug me down wards. 

The trip was twisting and mad, and eventually I felt cold, musky air conditioned air once more blast into my face. I was sitting in a ball pit much like the one I had dug down through, but this one was twisted and morbid. 

Children stood around me once more, but this time with red glowing eyes and pale-gray skin. Their red and white striped clothing was matted with dried gore. They smiled and laughed as they stared at me, opening small mouths to show needle like -rows- of teeth. 

The ball pit was wet, and I noted, not urine like one would assume, it was wet with blood. I stood and readied myself for combat, if these abominations stood between me and the mouse, they would suffer his fate along with him.

They crept slowly in my direction, bearing jagged un washed finger nails. I sighed and stood to my full height, towering over the wicked little beasts this other world must have twisted. No doubt they managed to survive feeding off children as they discovered this place just as I had.

They stopped and looked to each other realizing it would take all of them to kill this far larger neck bearded creature. Before they could think I grabbed the largest of them by the arms, and began wielding him as a flail. 

They jumped onto my back and clawed and bit, but I was no child for them to consume, and their attempts to dissuade me from murder proved a poor argument. 

I tossed what was left of my impromptu weapon/child back into the Fun'N'Gore pit. And looked around. Video games blinked and beeped, as the scenes on them flashed violent images of murder and cult rituals.

I knew the rat was close. I could smell him. That was when I heard the crackle of the speakers all around this playground in hell. A laughing loud voice poured from the old sound system and rang in my ears.

"MY DOOR WILL OPEN ONLY WHEN YOU'VE PASSED THE TEST OF ONE THOUSAND TEETH. TAKE UP THE HOLY HAMMER AND SEND THE GREEN DEATH BACK TO ITS CAVE...OR DIE IN PROCESS"

I heard a loud crash, and looked around in fear for my life, knowing that the Master of Cheese would not play fair, and foolishly I thought this place he hid in would be simple in construction, not some morbid version of the world it hid under.

That was when I saw it, a Massive two handed hammer, mocking the foam bashing tool from my favorite game. This weapon however, was real. It had fallen from the ceiling through some trap door between the red-tinted florescent lights.

It was almost too heavy to lift, but I managed, knowing that if I were to survive here I had to play by the rules, even if it meant suffering or risk. That was when I heard the low, echoing growl. Another crash filled the room, as a weak plaster wall tore open, and a massive crocodile the size of a truck came roaring through.

He was a living breathing monster, but his flesh was smooth and spiky as if he had been plastic brought to life. Impaled limbs and the heads of children covered his flesh, and when he opened his hungry mouth I could see years of decay and rot that had built up from biting and chewing, but having no digestive system to feed.

He charged at me, and I stood frozen filled with dread, knowing I was about to die...

...But then thoughts filled my head. Knowing that the loss of my ring had caused so much pain. The ring had given me courage, had given me hope. The day I spent wearing that item I was filled with courage and power, knowing that no mater what, I had a silver ring that had my name on it, I knew who I was. Even as it left a green ring around my finger, from the fake cheap metal it was created from, I knew as long as I had that ring, nothing could defeat me.

Even with this unbeatable monster bearing in my direction, I knew that hope could be mine again. I raised the hammer above my head and waited for him to be close enough, as his jaws snapped down, I stepped back just enough to watch them snap down on air.

I then brought the hammer down, hard as I could, watching as its face broke into a mess of plastic and wires. A creature like this could not be called dead, anymore then it could be called alive, but I knew it was defeated as I saw it back peddling into the hole it had made in the wall screaming in pain.

"OOOOOOOOWWWWWWCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH"

That was when I heard his laugh, echoing through the speakers, followed by a low hacking cough, as if he had been smoking for years.

"FINE THEN COME AND TASTE DEATH FOOL!"

I placed the bloody hammer on my shoulder and looked around for where he might mean for me to meet him. I noticed then, a stage at the far back of this mad house. I knew his flare for the dramatic, remembering his commercials on TV praising how "Cool" he was, trying to lure children away from their chores and school work with promises of ticket-prize glory and fun filled adventures.

The black, torn curtains on the stage began to lift, and there stood the "Rat bastard". His tattered fur and massive rat like head turned to stare at me. One of his eyes were hanging by fleshy strings, and the other bobbled in strange directions.

His back was covered in slimy, greasy cheese, that flowed onto the ground as if he was some massive queen ant or Alien creature. I had to hold my stomach to keep from throwing up, as I saw the long stringy tendrils of heart clogging filth begin go move around on their own.

Other Tendrils emerged from his throne of tickets and prizes, the long frail strings of currency wrapped around his arms, and flew out at me, cutting deep gashes across either side of my face. 

I knew if I managed to survive this quest, part of me would still die down here. I took up the hammer and rushed the abomination!

I felt cheese and muck, and questionable meats wrap around my ankles and pull me off balance, sending me falling and twisting onto the stage in front of me.

More ticket ropes wrapped around me, and I could feel that they were much stronger then they appeared. I dropped the hammer in front of him, and tried to scream, but tickets rushed into my mouth. I was being pulled and wrapped like a fly in spider's web, all the while his laughing echoed in the back round, still sounding as if it echoed through the loud speakers.

"WERE YOU LOOKING FOR THIS LARGE ONE!? HAH!"

One mangled rotten hand held up my ring, and my eyes grew wide and wild as he mocked me. The shining silver of it, had not aged a day, it was an affront for this beast to even touch the item, just as it was wrong for him even to exist.

"YOUR SUFFERING MAKES ME STRONGER. I DRINK IT IN EVERY TIME A CHILD IS FORCED TO GO HOME BEFORE HE HAS EARNED THE PRIZE HE WANTS. I FEAST WHENEVER THE FATTY IS DENIED THE LAST SLICE, WHEN THE GIRL IS TOLD SHE IS NOT ALLOWED IN THE MALE SIDE OF THE FUN TUBES. SOON EVEN THIS WALLS WILL NOT HOLD ME AND I WILL GROW TO CONSUME ALL OF THIS WORLD!!"

I couldn't let this happen, and suddenly, I knew why my ring had left my hand that day. It was not stolen. It abandoned me, to make me strong. To make me angry, to make me spend time on the internet, forged into a frothing nerd. Knowing that one day, when my strength and hatred was strong enough, I would return to seek out my prize, and end this beast. 

I bit down on the tickets in my mouth and swallowed them whole! I struggled as hard as I could, and felt the tickets tearing away. I dropped to my knees and scooped up the hammer, and swung for his head with all my might...

...I roared in triumph as I felt his carpet covered head tear away from his body, and I was covered in a shower of black gore that felt like oil, followed with an explosion of sparks. 

Still the head yelled as it spiraled through the air. Until it clashed to the ground and made a sound akin to a toy that had run out of batteries. From his dead, claw covered hand, I grabbed my ring and held it close for the first time in so many, many years. 

When I opened my eyes, I was once more sitting in the ball pit, with customers and children staring at my gore and wound covered self. I stood and calmly removed myself from their presence. 


...........................................................

"Dad thats the most stupid fucking thing I've ever heard. Mom says I can go to Jimmy's birthday party. So I'm going."

[[Category:Stories]]