Editing Bjorn the Fell Handed (section)

==About Bjorn==
[[File:Bjorn of Tra.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Before he lost his hand and became a mobile coffin, this was Bjorn...kinda looks like [[Cyrus]], though that's definitely just a circular tattoo around one of his eyes rather than a cybernetic eye.]]
Bjorn is a Space Marine of the Space Wolves chapter, and (by virtue of almost dying and being interred in a Dreadnought) is the oldest living being in the [[Imperium]] who hasn't turned to [[Chaos]] aside from a bunch of nameless and half-mad Blood Angels Dreadnoughts, after the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Big E]] himself (or rather was until the recent revival of [[Roboute Guilliman]]). He is so old, in fact, that he fought alongside [[Leman Russ]] in battle and even saw the [[Emperor]] before the events of the [[Horus Heresy]], meaning he's been around for at least ten thousand years.

Unlike most characters from the Horus Heresy books, Bjorn didn't start out as an ultimate badass, he was just a Grey Hunter in the Third Great Company, and his first notable action was [[derp|a fuck-up]] where he shot down a remembrancer's shuttle by error. As a 'punishment', he was assigned to keep guard on the guy, and that in turn led him to [[not as planned|ruin the day]] of a Tzeentchian Daemon trying to manipulate things on [[Prospero]]. That's where he lost his arm, earning his epithet in the process, and first attracted the attention of his leaders.

After that, he and his company had a [[rape|run-in]] with a Khornate Daemon, and Bjorn saw all his battle-brothers get slaughtered. [[Rage|A little angry]] at this, he swore eternal vengeance against the damn bastard and that he would gut him next time, becoming the first [[Lone Wolf]]. And so he did a couple of years later. With extreme prejudice. Beating his [[Leman Russ|Primarch]] to the punch of [[rip and tear|visiting vengeance so unholy]] upon the daemon he's never been seen again for 10,000 years. Even Russ was impressed, so he held Bjorn's oath fulfilled and gave him a place in his [[Wolf Guard]] on the spot.

Following the disappearance of Russ, Bjorn became the first Great Wolf, the Chapter Master of the Space Wolves, until he was injured and placed in a Dreadnought sarcophagus. In light of his advanced years, the majority of his time is spent dormant in stasis, but is awakened every century or so such that the Space Wolves might learn from his ancient wisdom. In practical terms, this means they pester him to tell them stories about Leman Russ. Since Bjorn's only waking hours are universally spent this way (unless there's some battle so big that Bjorn absolutely must be deployed to it like in the first War of Armageddon), he does his best to appear more and more senile every time he is awoken in the dim hope they will eventually stop asking him about the old stories.

"Comedian" George Carlin would have classified Bjorn as an "Old Fuck". It is kind of like a "Fat fuck".

[[Warhammer Fantasy|No relation to that Chaos Marauder chieftain from Slaves to Darkness]] (Also known as the best Chaos story ever).

The Horus Heresy series has supplied some new Bjorn fluff recently. He starts off out of kilter with his Legion- really good at killing shit, but not so much at the whole drunken barbarian thing. Then Prospero happens, he does some cool shit and the ensuing "what have we done" gloom brings the Legion closer to his mood. Then he impresses Russ by trying to solo a Contemptor, and things start to escalate.

Bjorn it turns out is also one of the horniest bastards in the Imperium. There is never not a good time to flirt with pretty ladies in his books, even if they're blanks whose very presence can make the skin of most people crawl like the Sisters of Silence or if he's locked in a fucking Dreadnought and said lady is an Inquisitor. This sort of canonises the old jokes about Bjorn's fondness for bitches, though as of yet it is unknown whether Russ has ever cockblocked him. It is also unknown as to whether any woman took him up on his offers as either a living space marine or a Dreadnought. Guess Bjorn was just THAT much of a horndog.