Editing Ciaphas Cain (section)

==The Novels==
[[File:Cain & Tanna.jpg|300px|thumb|left|Cain, with a cup of his favourite drink (Tanna from Valhalla).]]
Essentially, George MacDonald Fraser's ''The [[Flashman]] Papers'' and McAuslan stories sprinkled with a bit of Blackadder and transplanted into the 41st Millennium, though, while Cain is more of a Coward with a Heart of Gold, Flashman can best be described as a Jerk with a Heart of Jerk, Braised in a Jamaican Jerk Sauce, then Dried out into Jerked Jerk Jerky and served with a side order of colonial racism.

Cain is also infamous for being one of the more promiscuous characters in 40K. His list of conquests include a smoking hot Inquisitor - his current/probably last lover, a busty governor's daughter, a surprisingly attractive young tech priestess (not confirmed, but likely and wouldn't be surprising), and various other women throughout the series. The first book has Cain nearly put the moves on his regiment's female Colonel when the two attended an Imperial governor's party (with good chance of success), only stopping because he thought it would be better to keep it professional. Unsurprisingly this has led to multiple attempts by the forces of [[Slaanesh]] to corrupt Cain, all of which ended in miserable failure.

Whilst the books are quite well-written, [[Sandy Mitchell]] is a big fan of recycling - even down to specific sentences. Hence each book ''is guaranteed'' to feature exactly the same descriptions of his aide [[Jurgen]] as all the others, someone doing something with "almost indecent haste", and about half a dozen variations on the theme, "Of course, if I knew what I was getting myself into by doing [x], I'd have rather [y]" (usually involving charged into the [[Eye of Terror]] with nothing but a rusty fork). [[Skub|To be fair, this is very much a comedy trope.]]

They are also notable for the Jurgen Ex Melta, where most of the dramatic fights are ended by the intervention of Cain's aide Jurgen armed with a [[melta]]gun and his powers as a [[psyker]]-disrupting "[[blank]]". Over the course of the series, Jurgen has racked up more kills than the rest of the Valhallan 597th put together, and has yet to have any character development whatsoever. But that's fine, because Jurgen is 125% distilled [[awesome]].

While it's unclear if this is an issue with Cain or Mitchell, the books also can't seem to tell the difference between a heavy bolter and a storm bolter, using the terms interchangeably to the point where it can sometimes be difficult to figure out which particular weapon is actually being described. At least there's a good chance it's one of Cain's own writing flaws...and at least he's not [[C.S Goto|confusing Land Raiders with Razorbacks]].

Also features psychotic lesbian Valhallans, Orky Gargants crumpin' dose [[Necron]] gits, a grinning, friendly neighborhood Inquisitor (who you should flee from at all costs), psychotic psykers who wear dresses too small, savants that are barred from entering casinos, [[World Eaters]] getting killed by "mere" humans, surviving a starship crash, playing ''[[Space Hulk]]'' for real, blue facepainted [[Tau]] supporters yelling that you can take their lives, but not their freedom, and the Harriers getting the goddamn cup (except they didn't), Space Daemon Werewolf Psyker Hitler being kicked over a dam by a solid boot to the arse, [[Awesome|and an Avatar of Khaine being dynamic entry'd from a Starship right onto a greater daemon]].

The books are chock full of Puns and references. Some of the best are listed below:

“If it bleeds we can kill it”

“…Sanitise the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure”

“That would be an ecumenical matter”

Popular holodrama Judge Foreboding

Tomas Beige (Tom Brown from the Flashman Papers)

'I suppose anything that might look a bit [[Aeldari|Eldary]]'

'Eldary?' She repeated, as though it just might make sense if she heard it often enough. '[[Chapterhouse Studios|Is that even a word?]]'