Editing Kaurava System (section)

==Kaurava Conflict==
Prior to the events in Soulstorm, the system had been relatively peaceful by normal standards, with only one planet infested with [[Ork|extremely warlike genetically-engineered fungi able to grow bigger and stronger the more they fight]] and another with [[Necron|sleeping ancient murdering robots that destroy the laws of physics with their tech and don't die even if they are nuked]]. However, this all changed upon the SUDDEN APPEARANCE OF A WARP STORM AT THE KAURAVA SYSTEM'S OUTER EDGE (Chaos ending reveals how that actually came to be). In fact, the appearance was so sudden that over half the [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Forces]] had been wiped out by the forces of [[Chaos]] (who had somehow appeared at the exact same time), before [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]] could even say 'fuck'. By this point commander [[Indrick Boreale]] had decided to show up with bunch of his [[Blood Ravens|Blood Raven]] [[Space Marines|SPESS MEHREENS]] in [[METAL BOXES|METAL BAWKSES]] to help eradicate both the Ork and Chaos forces present in the system.

Unbeknownst to Boreale, the [[Tau]] empire also had a similar idea, and decided to set up shop directly above his head on a small moon orbiting Kaurava II. Their plan was to somehow contain the Warp Storm while expanding their territory's border right into Indrick Boreale's face. Around this time the [[Necron|crons]] on Kaurava III decided that now might be a good time to wake up and start their malicious genocidal campaign against anything unfortunate enough to [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs|still be alive]]. However, [[Caerys|Farseer Caerys]] had already foreseen this, and inevitably showed up with her fellow [[Eldar|space elves]] by travelling through some random [[Webway]] Gate that just happened to be conveniently lying around. MEANWHILE, a bunch of [[Dark Eldar|evil space elves]] had started arriving through some other random Webway Gate located on a moon above the totally-fucking-Chaos-infested-evil-planet known as Kaurava IV. Lastly, the <s>party crashers</s> [[Sisters of Battle]] turned up. Lead by Canoness [[Selena Agna]], they had come in a futile attempt to cleanse the system before shit got ''really'' [[Derp|fucked up]]. However, because they had taken so long to get their own shit together the system was already pretty fucked by the time they got there.

So what actually happened? Well, anyone who has actually played ''Dawn of War: Soulstorm'' will know that there are actually '''10''' different outcomes that can be achieved. First off, one can be defeated and no outcome is ever achieved apart from their own demise. However, if one persists and somehow manages to keep playing long enough with any of the nine races to achieve victory... then shits starts to actually get even more ''fucked''. For example, if the Orks somehow achieve victory, then the Kaurava System will be completely turned into a staging ground for the largest Ork [[WAAAGH]] you have ever seen in your fucking life. If the Eldar manage to attain victory, then they will show the Sisters of Battle how you really cleanse a system and then proceed to retreat back to Kaurava III in order to stop the Imperium from ever colonising that planet again. If their evil Dark Eldar counterparts succeed, then they will drink everybody's blood and subsequently leave (what else did you expect?). If the Blood Ravens achieve victory, then the system will be returned to the control of the Imperium, but the Lands of Solitude territory on Kaurava II will be renamed to "[[Derp|Borealum]]" (after Indrick Boreale), and a new [[Fortress-Monastery]] will be founded there in the name of the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emprah]]. Alternatively, if the Sisters of Battle somehow succeed, then they will carry out their fanatical cleansing and proceed to subsequently bathe everything beneath mountains of holy fire and molten plasma. However, if the maniacal forces of CHAOS succeed, then.. well.. you know what happens. If the Imperial Guard achieve victory, then the system is re-built to its former glory and becomes highly militarized and able to produce superior infantry second best only to those produced by [[Cadia]].