Editing The Toilets of the 41st Millennium (section)

==Great Toilet Stalls of the Space Marines==
[[Image:spacemarine_hey_close_the_door.jpg|thumb|right|CC in the WC.]]
[[Image:OldCalgar.png|right|thumb|[[Marneus Calgar|Papa Smurf]] knows what's up: You need TP after PP.]]
[[Image:Space_Marine_on_the_Toilet.jpg|thumb|Space Marines need some me time needs some "me" time.]]
While Space Marine [[power armor]] can recycle the waste and use it as nutrients, many Chapters have their own toilets:

[[Black Templars]] - Fairly difficult to use, because every time you do something in it, the fucking thing rushes at you.

[[Blood Angels]] - Aesthetically pleasing, but when on the toilet, one may be overcome by The Brown Rage.

[[Blood Ravens]] - Still looking for theirs. They happen to have several from other chapters though. Fucking thieves.

[[Black Dragons]] - Relatively normal, but after you use it, you get hard. And I'm not talking about a boner.

[[Crimson Fists]] - In short supply from the [[Ork]] assault on Rynn's World.

[[Dark Angels]] - Only the Inner Circle knows where it is. But I'm fairly certain their Master of the Forge is interred on it...

[[Deathwatch]] - Only a few in existence, but are amongst the best and all tailored to taking various kinds of shits.

[[Exorcists]] - As part of their training they are exorcised of the daemon of taco shits, so they always go easy and quick.

[[Flame Falcons]] - Is specifically made to be able to flush burning shits.

[[Flesh Tearers]] - Is very likely to give you the nastiest case of The Brown Rage you've ever seen.

[[Grey Knights]] - The most powerful toilets in the Imperium, inscribed with aegis wards, purity seals, and psychic barriers to prevent Daemonic possession (and clogging).

[[Imperial Fists]] - Is horribly uncomfortable, because the Emperor is probably fairly uncomfortable on his throne. They can also be used as emergency bunker emplacements if the battle brother is attacked while on the toilet.

[[Iron Hands]] - Toilet may in fact be a sleeping Iron-Father.

[[Iron Snakes]] - The toilet is fine, but you get only one sheet of paper on account of you taking only one shit.

[[Lamenters]] - Perfectly fine until they try to flush... It always, always clogs, and overflows.

[[Legion of the Damned]] - Appears before you precisely when needed, but only if you have to go Number 3.

[[Mantis Warriors]] - Due to their penance of a 100 year crusade without Imperial aid, they are drastically low on toilet paper. [[C.S. Goto|Also have multilasers]]

[[Mentors]] - Contains a mini library so they can learn as they take a shit.

[[Minotaurs]] - <s>Shit really fast in enemy toilets before running away.</s> The very best toilets in the Imperium, but they sometimes have to share them with the [[High Lords of Terra]]. Sometimes steal those belonging to other Chapters.

[[Raven Guard]] - Cannot be flushed as [[Corax]] himself mandated only he could do away with what was done as it is his responsibility.

[[Salamanders]] - Well made, efficient and beloved by the people. The only fault one can find is the use of lava when flushing.

[[Space Wolves]] - A fire hydrant surrounded with dog biscuits.

[[Ultramarines]] - <s>Immaculate and clean, everyone hates them for this reason.</s> Marneus Calgar's chair.

[[White Scars]] - Mounted on the weapons platform of an attack bike.

[[Raptors]] - None. Shitting isn't a strategically viable action unless it is to cheaply produce desert camo for their armor.

[[Red Scorpions]] - Master crafted porcelain with auto-bidets made of advanced archaeotech, with the finest examples being a series of four toilets in increasing order of decoration, culminating with the last one made for Dreadnoughts.

[[Astral Knights]] - They used Necron Overlords as toilets and wiped with the skin of dead flayers.

[[Celestial Lions]] - They shit in a jar and keep it so they can tell stories about how glorious the said shit was to initiates.

[[Marines Malevolent]] - They don't have any due to royally pissing off the AdMech (And by extension, <u>everyone else</u>), so they improvise by taking a dump inside of a water tank meant for refugees so they can piss off the Salamanders. Why? because they're [[That Guy|spiteful and gigantic douchebags that's why.]]

[[Soul Drinkers]] - [[Just as Planned|Their toilets turn into spider-legged mutants]] whenever shat into.

[[Guardians of the Covenant]] - They are not sure if the toilets actually exist. Debates are ongoing.

[[Relictors]] - Most likely to be warp tainted and absolutely not hygenic.

[[Space Sharks]] - Covered in tribal symbols and has a complementary [[Chapter Serf|stress ball]] to help the marines keep their cool (which is a monumental task).

[[Sons of the Phoenix]] - Their toilets bear a striking similarity to those of the third legion before their fall from grace, though, they insist that their toilets are modeled off those used by the Imperial Fists.

===Toilets of the Esteemed Chapters of /tg/ 40k===

[[Angry Marines]] - Like all marines they have their own toilets, but due to their diet of pizza, tacos, cheap booze and swearing (ingested by others shouting it into their faces) they have the most toxic and vile shits in the Imperium unless you count the [[Death Guard]] when they were still loyal. This means that their toilets are equally vile and wretched, as nobody in their right minds would go near such a toilet to clean it without terminator armour and a heavy flamer (or a really unlucky serf with a sponge and a death wish). The angry marines do however, have the finest toilet paper in the galaxy, to ensure that their arseholes are suitably cleaned of the previous shits skid marks. This is mostly in the form of copies of the codex astartes (although this is in short supply due to fiery aggressors using ground up codexes in their flame weapons) which is printed on surprisingly soft and absorbent paper. If an angry marine wants a supremely cleaned and soft butt hole however (and doesn’t mind risking being thrown out of an airlock) then they can try and use the Roll of Emergency Purity Seals owned by Reclusiarch Mofo, and marines who have done so say that “MY SHIT HOLE HAS NEVER FELT SO CLEAN!!! IT WAS LIKE WIPING MY ARSE WITH A FIELD FULL OF BUNNIES!!!”

[[Galactic Partridges]] - All of the toilets on their home planet of Peart'ree use the finest quality silver for the citizens. All members of the esteemed Partridges use diamond-encrusted golden toilets while the Chapter Master prefers to use the one that was "gifted" from the Space Wolves' Chapter Master [[Logan Grimnar]]. The stalls also have monitors which allow the Partridges to view their many glorious victories over the millennia. All glory to the Partridges.

[[Pretty Marines]]- Pretty Marines shit rose petals and piss liquid gold. Thus, no toilets. But if there WERE Pretty Marine toilets, they'd match the drapes and be embossed with beautiful diamonds and rubies and silver penises.

[[Reasonable Marines]] - Probably the only normal civilian-brand toilets in the entire Imperium.

[[Sleepy Marines]] - Specially made to deal with the gallons of acidic piss they accumulate on their long hibernations.

[[Blood Jaguars]] - Makes the Flesh Tearers look like the Pretty Marines with its Brown Rage inducement.