Editing Battle for Dominus Pillowus (section)

===Xenos===

====Eldar====

*'''Thirsty Farseer:''' Was infected by a disease made by Nurgle, who wanted to boost Eldar birthrates so as to make Isha happy. Tried to rape Guardsman, but Psykerbro kept her away. Until she did rape him ([[Heresy|he liked it]]). Now they are married.

*'''Silver-Iscariot Eldar:''' Died over and over again, eventually defecting to Imperial forces (probably because her craftworld was fucking obliterated and serving the EMPRAH is better than serving anybody). Was a titan at two points in time. 

*'''Dark Eldar:''' Went raiding. Some of them took advantage of the vorefest between the Hive Fleet and the Daemon Engine Craftworld to get more suffering and ecstasy.

====Tyranids? Orks? [[Heresy|Orkanids!?]]====

*'''Freeboota Kaptin Snikstabba 'F. Merkury' Goldteef:''' Ork Kaptin of the massive Freeboota spacehulk called ''Wuldkrumpa''. Entered the battle after he brought the space hulk out of the Warp to go "bug huntin" and noticed the, quote, "GORK-ZOGGING YUGE BATTLE" and launched his boyz (along with a bunch of 'WAAAGH-crazed' genestealers) down to the planet. Has a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_(band)| massive collection of ancient terran music in STC-format] that can be blasted so loud it can be heard through space. Uses a kustom "noize kannon" that's hooked up to the hulk's music system. Looks like a giant green version of [[Awesome|Freddie Mercury.]]

*'''Freeboota Gitsmacka:''' Self-described "jeanstealer krumpin' spessulist". Only Freeboota contacted by Planetary Hivemind through a couple of possessed genestealers. Kills first one out of reflex, and in the second one, he misunderstands the explanation about Norn-Queen to be instead a discussion about the band Queen before killing said second genestealer. Proceeds to spend the rest of his time planetside in the boardin' rokkit-turned-rokkit-trukk he came down in attacking/generally tormenting Necrons, particularly Necron Lord I.

*'''Freeboota Flyboy Wazrukk:''' Boardin' Rokkit flyboy "Extraordinaire". Pilot/Driver of Ork Boardin' Rokkit/Rokkit-Trukk.

*'''Freeboota 'Mad' Mekboy Razzafing:''' The Mekboy responsible for turning the Boardin' Rokkit(s) into a (occasionally supersonic) "Rokkit-Trukk".

*'''Dok Guzzgut:''' Mad Ork responsible for OrkNids, made enough of them to affect the hivemind with the WAAAGH field. Was a tank once, then a [[Dominatrix]]. Is currently busy floating through space in the hivemind. 

*'''Hivefleet:''' The Hivefleet came in to harvest the biomass of the planet but confused on what it's goals were due to the Ork-nids and the taint of the warp. Eventually it decided to make the biggest WAAAAGH ever.

*'''Planetary Hivemind:''' The Planetary Hivemind consisted of devolved tyranids that made up all the vegetation and wildlife on the planet. Is awakened by the arrival of Hive Fleet Leviathan, but gets confused as to what its mission is due to the powerful psychic presence of the daemon-craftworld and the large numbers of Orknids. Attempts to adapt to all three until the Orknids are the only ones remaining, turning into the Norn Queen of the Eternal WAAAAAAAAAGH!

*'''Rapevines:''' Vines that were at first a defense mechanism used by the "Forest" to repel Necrons cutting their way through via restrainment. But then some Slaaneshi Flayed Ones start using them in ways similar to [[/d/|hentai,]] this then corrupts the vines with Slaaneshi warp fuckery and causes them to yearn for [[Rape|the penetration of those who come across it]].

*'''The "Forest:"''' Is really just devolved Tyranids, which local Imperials (and Necrons) found out just a little too late. After the departure of the Norn Queen, the Forest is the only remaining Tyranid presence, and now just exists to attack colonists while screaming WAAAAAAAGH! At them. Also called the "Rape Forrest" by the Necrons who were unfortunate enough to find it

*'''Orknid hybrids:''' Exactly as horrifying as you’d think they are, made worse by the fact that some are corrupted by Slaanesh. Responsible for the fact that the wildlife of the planet only screams. They are differentiated by [[Colorz|colour]]: red ones go fast, yellow are dakka, purples are sneaky, pink ones like to murderrape and black ones are masochistic in the extreme (likes to be hit, BDSM etc, does not fight back).

====Necrons====

*'''Trazyn the Infinite:''' Trazyn made an attempt to get this body pillow for his collection but was unable to. No one is quite sure what he did after failing to retrieve the body pillow, some theorize he later tried to get his hands on the stolen STC's of Queen music. And others theorized he took some specimens of the screaming trees and other forms of Ork-Nid plantoid life forms for his collection instead.

*'''Necron Lord I:''' Notable victim of the Rape-Vines. Terribly traumatised by the experience. Then had his shiny metal ass shot off by Wazrukk because his ass was scratching the Rokkit-trukk's windshield. He has given up on getting that pillow. Promoted a Necron Warrior to Lord for hauling him back to base for repairs. That new Lord is Necron Lord II. 

*'''Necron Lord II:''' Originally a [[Necron Warrior]], got mistaken for a Lord by a group of [[Flayed Ones]] after being horribly dismembered. Extremely pleased with his current position and equipment. Wants the pillow so he can sleep.

*'''Unnamed Destroyer Lord:''' An old sleepy bugger. Woke up due to the fighting on the surface, and decided to just release all [[Monolith|monoliths]] he had in hand, along with some [[Megalith|megaliths]] and even an [[Æonic Orb]]. Has a massive love for Necron Scarabs and sleeps on a blanket comprised fully of them.

*'''[[Æonic Orb]]:''' Originally forgotten by even the Necrons themselves, became one of the central players in this clusterfuck. Currently under research by the Mechanicum.

*'''Flayed Ones''': The Flayed Ones were driven further into madness by their curse (and probably the body pillow they were told to get) as they started to make body pillows out of the bodies of their foes. Eventually, the curse started to spread from Necron to Necron, even infecting the Spyders and Scarabs. Later on, some Flayed Ones became corrupted by the forces of Chaos by turning to either Nurgle or Slaanesh, the ones who followed Nurgle simply hung out with the Nurglings while those of Slaanesh started using the Rape Vines for sexual pleasure and probably robot-fucked each other as well. After a while, the Necron Lord ordered for all the Flayed Ones to be killed. Those who were not killed either escaped into the rape forest or the warp.

====Tau====

*'''Ethereal:''' Ended up becoming a Commissar-like figure for defecting Guard troops, behaving in ways such as BLAMMING anyone who dared to call her Commissar. Gained Imperial habit of over-reinforcing planets. 

*'''Tau Diplothot:''' Used to be the one who seduced Commsar Xenofucker. Ended up being corrupted by Slaanesh, and thought it might be a nice idea to fuck a Krieger. Instead she [[/d/|disguised herself as one, made one of them fall in love with her and was murderraped by a Tyranid while he was made to watch]]. Is very happy about that.

*'''Slaneshtau Leader Por'o:''' Originally a Water caste diplomat tasked with the mission of turning the planet to the Greater Good by using her army of Diplothots to seduce key individuals. Also ended up becoming corrupted by Slaanesh after trying to pick up diplomatic relations with a cult, although with much [[Daemon Prince|direr]] results. Was not to last, and shortly lost daemonhood by turning into the [[What|Craftworld]]. After the Eldar ship was destroyed, tried to possess the pillow [[Derp|but got kicked out by Saint Celestine(Stein), but not before engaging in a hours long Slaanesh-type wrestling match on the surface of the pillow]]. Currently a [[Daemonette]] after she convinced Commisar Xenofucker that she was his T'au waifu. He "saved" her soul from being purged by the saints she became a Daemonette. Now working her way back up Slaanesh's ranks.