Editing Hassan (section)

===Crazy Hassan and the Centaur Kingdom===

King Gerald, crusher of skulls, trampler of fiends and lord of all centaurs by birth right surveyed his domain from the highest tower of his castle. Long did his forest roam, as far as the eye could see. His nation was a mighty one, a force to be reckoned with. Yet still, there seemed to be something missing in his army. True, the clip clop of his forces was a sound feared by many but yet he still felt as if his strength waned.

He shook his head, and decided to not dwell on such matters for too long. He would have to go to the Great Court, where matters of state and importance would be brought to him so he may judge what actions are necessary. The tall and strong centaur king declined down the ramps of his castle and to the main hall, where he would take his place on the royal podium. From there his vizier brought to him all matters that needed his attention. As usual when he reached there the vizier, a wizened and kindly centaur, was awaiting him. But something was off today, his most trusted servant was uneasy. He let the matter pass and decided to go on with his duties.

“Come now vizier, tell me of what needs to be done today. I wish to quit this damnable court so I may continue to work on matters that need my attention far more!” King Gerald barked, a royal who had never learnt the phrase “indoor voice”.

The vizier gulped and spoke up nervously “Yes, my liege. I think, perhaps, that what you should see to first is an urgent meeting with a foreign merchant…”

“A MERCHANT? You trouble me with a mere merchant? Surely there are matters more deserving of my attention?”

“Well, my liege, this one was rather persistent, he bared through the castle and asked to see you directly, and you’ll see he’s rather odd case…”

The doors, strong and sturdy oak, burst open. Out came a rider atop a camel, brown of skin with slightly scruffy desert suitable clothing. Most noticeable was a wide smile on his face and a wild look in his eyes.
“Hello, new and valued customer! I could not wait to bring my deals to you, and the joy of owning a camel! I am Crazy Hassan!” Crazy Hassan announced with a pleased boom, that echoed through the hall. The various nobility stared aghast, the vizier even more put on edge and the king only staring blankly, not recognizing what had taken place. The silence of various people trying to get a grip on what was going on lasted only a short moment, however.

“How dare you! You come here when I announce, you filthy grubby little…” fumed King Gerald, with an intense bellow.

“Do not be angry! Is happy time! Soon you too like many other customers shall know joy of owning camel!” Crazy Hassan beamed, the smile never wider.

The King stared down, blinked, and took time to recognize what the strange merchant was saying.

“Camels? CAMELS? We’re bloody centaurs, man! We don’t need bloody camels!” King Gerald shouted, frustration cracking through his voice.

A silence broke over the court. Time seemed to slow. Crazy Hassan stopped smiling, and stepped down from his camel. The rest of the court, left rigid, could only watch as he made his approach to the King. The guards did nothing, too shocked by the strange turn of events to even register they should be stopping the merchant. Crazy Hassan stopped directly in front of the podium and looked directly into the king’s eyes.

“EVERYONE” boomed Crazy Hassan, gripping the podium.

“NEEDS” He continued, face contorting into a scowl, a scowl that chilled the king to the bone, and gripping the podium even tighter.

“CAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS!” His voice boomed, nearly causing ear damage to the King, his grip so tight on the podium that it cracked slightly and a rage inside his eyes that haunted the King until his dying days.


As soon as the rage had started, it has swept over him and Crazy Hassan beamed a beautiful smile.

“Now then, how many wonderful camels can I have you for, oh valued customer?” Crazy Hassan asked joyfully.

And that is the story of why the centaur nation has a thousand camels, and why it is a feared military power that strikes fear into many race. For, as Crazy Hassan pointed out, nothing breaks enemy morale like being spat upon by camels.