Editing Katanas are Underpowered in d20 (section)

== Jimmy Rome’s Anus is Underpowered in Song of Swords ==

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Half Pike of Satan" bullshit that's going on in the Song of Swords system right now. My anus deserves much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself loosened my anus in Santa Cruz for 2,400,000 denarii profit from prostitution (that's about $30) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even take in slabs of solid steel with my anus.

Strong older Serbian and Black Men spend years working on a single anus and pound it up to a million times to produce the finest sphincters known to mankind.

My anus is thrice as loose as Turkish boypussy and thrice as child-like for that matter too. Anything a Turkish boypussy can envelop, my anus can envelop better. I'm pretty sure my anus could easily take in a knight wearing full plate with a simple bit of squatting.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Rome? That's right, they were too scared to fight me (as I am a time traveller) and my loose anus of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted me first because the sheer looseness of my anus made them both confused and disgusted.

So what am I saying? My anus is simply the loosest sphincter that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the Song of Swords system. Here is the stat block I propose for my anus:

Jimmy Rome's Anus
2H Bodily Orifice, Hand Range, Strike TN 8 (+1s)*, Thrust TN 6 (+4s)* DTN 10, Hook, 0wt, 1cp

Now that seems a lot more representative of the enveloping powers of my anus in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = My anus needs to do more damage in SoS, see my new stat block.

*Note that this weapon inflicts wounds on the sodomy hit location, which is then directly applied to the wielder rather than the target hit.