Editing Grimdark Songwriting (section)

=== Beauty and the Beast: Gaston ===

 [Gaston:]       Who does she think she is? That lich has tangled with the wrong Paladin! No one says "die" to Gaston!
 [LeFou:]        Heh heh. Darn right.
 [Gaston:]       Plane-shifted! Hold-Personed! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.
 [LeFou:]        More beer?
 [Gaston:]       What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.
 [LeFou:]        Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together.

                Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
                Looking so down in the dumps
                Every Fighter here'd love to be you, Gaston
                Even when taking your lumps
                There's no man in the party as admired as you
                You're ev'ryone's favorite guy
                Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
                And it's not very hard to see why

                No one smites like Gaston
                No one fights like Gaston
                No one puts down those zombies and wights like Gaston
                For there's no man in town half as manly
                Perfect, a pure paragon
                You can ask any Priest, God or Cleric 
                And they'll tell you whose crusade they prefer to be ooooooon!
                

[Chorus:]       No one's been like Gaston
                A Paladin like Gaston
[LeFou:]        No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
[Gaston:]       As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating
[Chorus:]       My what a guy, that Gaston

                Give five "hurrahs!"
                Give twelve "hip-hips!"
[LeFou:]        Gaston is the best
                And the rest is all drips

[Chorus:]       No one Detects like Gaston
                lacks defects like Gaston
[Cronie:]      	That foul villain's plans nobody wrecks like Gaston
[Bimbettes:]    For there's no one as burly and brawny
[Gaston:]       As you see I win duels without fail
[LeFou:]        Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
[Gaston]        (That's right!)
                And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with mail.

[Cronies:]      No one Turns like Gaston
[Townsman:]     witches burns like Gaston
[LeFou:]        A large pile of xp no one earns like Gaston
[Gaston:]       I'm especially good at exterminating
                (Ka-Smite!)
[Chorus:]       Ten points for Gaston!

[Gaston:]       When I was a lad I killed four dozen orcs
                Ev'ry morning to help me get strong
                And now that I'm grown I kill five dozen orcs
                So I've roughly the might of King Kong!

[Chorus:]       No one heals like Gaston
                Makes brutes squeal like Gaston
[LeFou:]        Then goes tromping around wearing steel like Gaston
[Gaston:]       I use troll skulls in all of my decorating
[Chorus:]       Say it again
                Who's a man among men?
                And then say it once more
                Who's the hero next door?
                Who's a super success?
                Don't you know? Can't you guess?
                Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
                There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down
[LeFou:]        And his name's G-A-S- T -
                G-A-S-T -  E  -
                G-A-S-T-O  -  oh!
[Chorus:]       Gaston