Editing Chapter Master Smashfucker (section)

==8TH EDITION: CAPTAIN SMASHFUCKER AND THE IRON BASTARDS==

Although he may not be the inviolable [[rape]] juggernaut we all knew and loved, Smashfucker <s>still exists in 8th and with the release of the Space Marines codex he and his biker gang are still scary as shit</s> is no more. <b>Unfortunately, following the April 2018 FAQ, units may only roll for a single FNP ability.</b> So SMASHFUCKER would only get one 6+++ save, not two or three of them. Only in nerf does duty end. Mind you "Only" one 6+++ is still pretty tanky if not the same unstoppable juggernaut of yore.

{| class="wikitable"
!Pts
!M
!WS
!BS
!S
!T
!W
!A
!Ld
!Sv
|-
|136
|14"
|2+
|2+
|4
|5
|7
|4
|9
|3+/3++/6+++
|}

This rendition of He Who Smashes and Fucks is an Iron Hands Space Marine Captain on Bike equipped with a Thunder Hammer, a Storm Shield upgraded to The Shield Eternal relic, and the Iron Resolve warlord trait. The bike gives him amazing maneuverability as well as an extra toughness and wound. The Iron Resolve trait increases his wounds again to 7. So for every wound he takes (or rather every point of damage) he gets to roll a 6+ to try and ignore it, even mortal wounds SO FUCK YOU PSYKER CUNTS. One 6+ isn't the amazing FNP [[bullshit|fuckery]] he used to have, but in 8th edition where everything dies alot fucking quicker this is will definitely buff his staying power. Giving him The Shield Eternal will half all damage he takes (rounding up) which reduces the number of 6+'s you'll have to roll, and combo's nicely in that regard. Set him up with his gang of biker veterans kitted however you like them (but you WILL give them storm shields, you aren't an idiot), a biker apothecary to heal him up or bring back those expensive vets, and possibly a biker librarian to give him Might of Heroes, and it'll all ALMOST feel like it did when Angels of Death dropped back in 2016. Remember: neither Smashfucker or his buddies have the tankiness they were known for, so don't run them up the centre of the board and expect them not to get shot, stabbed, and dropkicked right into the dumpster. Use their excellent speed to position them behind cover and erase your opponent's units one by one if you can. Aim for the important/dangerous stuff if you're certain it's not a suicide mission. The Iron Bastards are too expensive to be used as a [[distraction carnifex]]. 

How you equip the veterans is mostly up to your playstyle and opponent. At only 2pts each, they should always be equipped with storm shields. The twin bolters from their bikes makes their shooting against infantry pretty great already, especially because they can get inside that rapid fire range easier with bike movement. If you're fighting a lot of armor or TEQ's take some combi-meltas or combi-plasmas. If you want to use them primarily as a CC unit, give them lightning claws or thunderhammers (depending on how hard you need to hit).

In most cases it is NOT worth spending 3cp to make him a Chapter Master again. The "reroll all to-hit rolls" bubble is nice, but in most games that's half your total CP and god forbid you fuck up and get Smashfucker merc'd in the first 2 turns then that was a straight up waste son. Stick with the rerolling 1's and use those CP's to, among other things, reroll the apothecary's 4+ revive roll maybe?

*NOTE* There may have been opportunities to create him through the Primaris Captain in Gravis Armor, except that unit entry can't swap his weapons and wargear around (the stubborn Primaris fuck). Besides Primaris Captain in Gravis Armor costs 137pts to Smashfucklers 136, and is objectively worse.

*Theoryhammer* Perhaps a stronger, if slower variant of our favorite Iron Hands Commander; Venerable Chaplain Smashfucker. Hear me out here. For 38 points more than a fully kitted Captain on Bike, you can take a bare bones Chaplain Venerable Dreadnought (2CCW+Stormbolters). What do those 38 points buy you? +2S(+3 in Fight from Icon of Hate), +2T, +3W, & +1LD. You lose the -1 to hit from your CCW that the TH gives you. Because you're taking 2 CCW you retain the ability to reroll 1's to hit(logic dictates this only applies to the fight faze and the CCW's themselves, ''but it doesn't actually say that sooo..'') although it's only for you and not an aura. And you also gain an innate 6+++ thanks to Unyielding Ancient, while the Iron Resolve Trait brings his wounds to 10 (which will also make him targetable like a normal Dreadnought. 
{| class="wikitable"
!Pts
!M
!WS
!BS
!S
!T
!W
!A
!Ld
!Sv
|-
|174
|6"
|2+
|2+
|7
|7
|10
|4
|10
|3+/5++/5+++ or 6+++
|}
Yes. Venerable Chaplain Smashfucker is significantly slower, has a notably worse base Invuln thanks to not being able to take The Shield Eternal, and loses the damage reduction for the same reason. However his ability to shrug off wounds, and amount of wounds he has ''to'' shrug off are notably higher. And he has slightly more reliable melee combat, and brings double the firepower (You can also replace one or both of the Storm bolters for Heavy Flamers at 15 more points a piece if you fancy even more close range death and destruction). And he can still get even tankier. Since Smashfucker is now a VEHICLE instead of INFANTRY, on taking his first Mortal Wound you can spend 1CP to use the Armour of Contempt Stratagem, which gives the friendly VEHICLE a better FNP, this one being a 5+++ instead of his others, against any further Mortal Wounds dealt to it. A bit situational, but significantly useful if you're going up against an army that can dish out Mortal Wounds on a consistent basis like AdMech, Grey Knights, or Psyker-heavy armies. And to top off his ability to shrug off damage, grab the Armor Indomitus for a 2+ Armor Save, and once per game when you feel you really need it, make his Invuln a 3++. 

So Venerable Chaplain Smashfucker's only real problem left is that crippling blow to his movement. Yes it's 6" like any other standard infantry, but for a Vehicle it's murder. There are two solutions to this. The first is to buddy Smashfucker up with some tanky infantry who can also help shore up the lack of momentum with heavy firepower such as Devastator Centurions, more Dreadnoughts (Because why not?), or just surround him with Honor Guard (Yes they're not too shooty but they can Look Out Sir with 2W a piece). Or, you can load him up with some chums in drop pods and laugh as your opponent shits his pants at a sudden turn 1 assault of Terminators/Assault Centurions/Dreadnought''s''. I personally think it'd be hilarious to set up something big and scary like a Fellblade or a pair of Knight Wardens, run them up the table at my opponent to make them forget about whats on my side board before suddenly dropping Venerable Chaplain Smashfucker down flanked by 2 Relic Leviathan Siege Dreadnoughts and a handful of LC Terminators and watch them panic. In either case you'll want to accompany Smashfucker with the usual support of a Librarian or two (Stacking Psychic Fortress & Might of Heroes for hilarity), an Ancient for the banner buff (If accompanying Smashfucker with infantry models instead of vehicles), and a pair of Techmarines to keep him healed up. Techmarines are also a bit more survivable, and have slightly better offence.

If you're feeling '''really''' obnoxious, then why not go the whole way and [[Troll|make both your two HQs Captain Smashfucker and Venerable Chaplain Smashfucker.]]