Editing Angry Marines (section)

== The Rise of Librarian Moarfistin, the Extremely Cross ==

* ''Transcribed from the files of'' Vyler, Deviant Ecclesiastic of Holy Terra.
* ''Profile'' #d4fppg6'': Librarian Moarfistin, the Extremely Cross''
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Some say that before being brought into the chapter for initiation Moarfistin was a proctologist's assistant on a far flung Imperial colony. It was on that colony that an experimental plague released by Nurgle cultists caused a widespread pandemic of deadly dysentery. 

The colony did not have a large population, and the colony's doctors, including his master, were the first targeted by the horrific disease. Being the only trained professional for his line of work, all the cases fell upon him. He slaved for months, mired in faeces and the corpses of his loved ones. A hellish life of failure and perpetual disgust eventually took its toll and he became increasingly violent and angry. One morning, he awoke to find that the last living colonists had shat themselves to death all over his equipment, and that the faeces had transformed into capering Nurglings. At this point his psychic powers manifested, and, records say, he "completely lost his shit".

The cultists were absolutely gleeful that their plague had done its work and killed the entire population; little did they know that one man, reinforced by a healthy diet high in fibre and latent psychic powers, had survived. A furious Moarfistin (as he would become known, original records on his true identity have been lost) came screaming over the horizon surrounded in a nimbus of psychic energy and as angry as at least 25 motherfuckers. Caught off guard, and then caught with medical instruments up their colons, the cultists knew true despair. This unstoppable path of destruction continued among the heretics as the newly born Moarfistin continued to force larger and larger objects up each individual anus.

[[File:Librarian_moarfistin_the_extremely_cross_by_vyler-d4fppg6(single_pose).jpg|thumb|right|''To see the sculpture of Librarian Moarfistin from which this entry is based, [[Angry_Marines#Gallery|see the gallery]]''.<br>''For the deviantart page where Librarian Moarfistin was sculpted, click here [http://j.mp/uC7r7m].''<br>]]

Far away, an Angry Marine battle barge travelling the warp was buffeted by the waves of pure, seething, righteous rage. Impressed with this display of anger, and utterly furious that "pizza day" lunch had been interrupted, they diverted course to the world. There they found Moarfistin standing atop of pile of embarrassingly mutilated corpses; not a single daemon or cultist had survived. The scrawny, glowing figure was recorded as shouting: "THAT OUGHT TO SHUT YOUR FUCKING SHIT BOXES, YOU DRIBBLING CUNTS!!"

Although Space Marines usually recruit from feral worlds with hardy, muscular warriors, an exception was made for this otherwise scrawny butt doctor turned mad berserker. He was recruited immediately into the Librarium, where he would rise to a high rank.

Armed with the terrifying "Fisting Stick" and traveling in his mighty battle-barge, "Considerable Shouting", the Angry Marines [[Librarian]], Moarfistin is currently leading the Somethingth Company of Angry Marines on a Crusade to "COMPLETELY FUCK UP THOSE VAGINA HEAD TAU". He decided to do this after accidentally viewing Gundam fanart of a particularly disturbing nature. Unfortunately (for all the enemies of the Imperium between point A and point B) he started the crusade while on the complete opposite end of the galaxy from the Tau Empire.<br>

When an allied inquisitor questioned the sanity of plotting a course directly through the Eye of Terror, Moarfistin replied "IT WILL BE THE BLEEDING ASSHOLE OF TERROR WHEN I'M DONE WITH IT!!". To prove his point he then impaled a carnifex with its own head and gave the inquisitor a full body Apache burn as well as wedgie, all within the span of eleven seconds.<br>

The "Somethingth Company" of Angry Marines is named as it is because the normally chaotic organization of the Chapter is compounded by fact that Moarfistin recruited for the Crusade by simply yelling "YOU STUPID SHITS DON'T LOOK BUSY!! GET ON BOARD, WE'RE KILLING SOME FUCKING XENOS!!". Thus began what is anticipated to be a very long, bloody campaign.<br>

Menacing as Librarian Moarfistin's appearance is, some would wonder why he lacks a psychic hood. To which he responds "I DON'T NEED A GOOFY LOOKING MAGIC HAT TO PROTECT ME FROM HERETICAL BULLSHIT!"<br>

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Thought for the Day: ''Any problem can be solved with the proper application of power boots to the groin.''<br>
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===continuation of Moarfistin's story===

Moarfistin is the Chief Mindfucker of the Angry Marines, the equivalent of a Chief Librarian of an Astartes chapter. Due to a tragic incident involving a Nurgle cult unleashing a plague at his home colony, Moarfistin was driven to insanity, but this was also when he discovered his latent abilities as a psyker and was picked up and immediately recruited by the Angry Marines. Having risen very quickly up through the chapters ranks and now possessing his own battle barge (Considerable Shouting) Moarfistin decided to start his very own crusade against the Tau (FUCKING CHEESE LOVING CUNT HEADS!!!) and founded his very own company, the Somethingth Company, which was made up of all the Angry Marines nearby who didn’t have anything better to do and felt like a road trip to fuck up some xenos was an excellent idea.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, it is all, after all, a matter of one’s perspective) for Moarfistin his route across the galaxy (an initially quiet and pleasant one as it only went straight through the EYE OF TERROR) has been made even more difficult due to the formation of the Cicatrix Maledictum, the galaxy wide shit hole which now bisects, intertwines and flat out covers Moarfistin’s route. This has him furious on multiple levels as firstly “FUCKING CHOAS SHIT EATING CUNTS!!!”, secondly “THE FUCKING NURGLINGS ARE GETTING IN THE WAY OF ME FISTING SOME VAGINA FISH!!! And thirdly “NOW I HAVE TO START ANOTHER FUCKING CRUSADE!!! I DON’T HAVE FUCKING TIME FOR THIS!!!” As it stands, Moarfistin and his crusade are sitting right in the middle of the galactic tear in the maelstrom, and has the choice of setting up camp and simply cruising up and down the Maledictum fighting anything and everything he finds, or to ignore the galaxy wide toilet and keep on ploughing through to tau territory.

Being the smart and proactive psychic nut case that he is, Moarfistin has decided to do both, and currently has his crusade raiding and pillaging all nearby daemon worlds, cultist hideouts and chaos space marine vessels to build a brand new battle barge named the “Suicidal Insanity”, and has split his crusade down the middle (rather literally as there were an odd number of marines, said marine now has two bionic legs and an arm and his removed limbs were grafted onto a servitor), with the Suicidal Insanity staying behind to perform a crusade up and down the Maledictum, while Considerable Shouting continues onto the Tau worlds.

This still leaves the issue of who is to command the Suicidal Insanity while Moarfistin goes vagina hunting, a problem with Moarfistin had another elegant solution to, and that is to make a copy of himself to command his new crusade, using his warp presence to power it, an idea he immediately dropped (AND WAS MOST CERTAINLY NOT THE MAIN PLOT POINT IN THE ORIGINAL DRAFT OF THIS STORY!!! NO HERESEY TO BE SEEN HERE!!!) as being too crazy even for him. That left his second (AND TOTALLY NON-HERETICAL!!!) last idea which would be to promote a likeminded Angry Marine to the rank of company captain, and too this end he gathered all the Angry Marines together under his command into the mess hall of the Considerable Shouting. “ALRIGHT YOU SACKS OF FUCKING GROZ MANURE!!!” He bellowed at the collected marines “LAST ONE STANDING GETS TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE NEW SHIP!!!” He had barely finished saying “in charge” before (in true Angry marine style) the Angry Marines started fighting, with broken bottles, power bats, honey badgers, power feet and even other Angry Marines being used as bludgeoning tools.

Having seen this display plenty of times before, Moarfistin joined in for a few minutes to knock out a few marines that he just didn’t like then retired to his quarters, knowing that the entire company of marines would be fighting for quite a while, and even a good fight gets boring when it’s been going for several days. 2 days, 9 hours, 23 minutes, 6 seconds and three massive shits later, Moarfistin returned to the mess hall to see who was left standing, passing down the corridors filled with bruised, battered and swearing marines being patched up with duct tape, to find only two marines left still punching each other in their now shattered helmets. “WILL YOU FUCKING HURRY UP YOU CUNTS!!!” He shouted at the two remaining marines “I’VE GPT SOME WEEABOOS TO GO AND FIST BEFORE SLASNESHMAS COMES AROUND AGAIN!!!” The arrival of Moarfistin had roused the marines capable of being roused, who formed a circle around the fighters to add their insults to the fight “FUCKING KICK HIS NUTS!!!” “IVE SEEN ELDAR PANSIES PUNCH BETTER!!!” “CAN YOU FUCKING HURRY UP, SO WE CAN FUCKING EAT!!!” The added insults had the desired effect, as both fighters pulled back their right legs and simultaneously delivered savage kicks to the others privates, instantly knock both of them over into moaning heaps on the floor. “FUCK THIS SHIT!!!” Exclaimed Moarfistin “I CAN’T BE FUCKED WAITING ARPUND FOR YOU TO FIGHT AGAIN!!! YOUR NOW BOTH THE CAPTAINS OF THE NEW COMPANY NOW I’M OFF TO KICK SOME TAU IN THE CUNTS!!!”

And just like that, Moarfistin continued his journey (he is now fighting his way through the outskirts of tau space) leaving the two new company captains (now named Tweedle Dick and Tweedle Cunt) on the Suicidal Insanity in charge of the (aptly named) “WHY DO WE HAVE TO FOLLOW THOSE CUNTS?!!!” Company. While Moarfistin’s crusade can be kept track of via the trail of destroyed (and fisted) tau worlds, nothing is currently known of the Suicidal Insanity and it’s two captains, but it is assumed that continued their crusade instead of punching each other for all eternity.

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Thought for the day: Beware the Weeaboo, the waifu, the loli.

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