Editing Adeptus Custodes (section)

===Non-canon===
[[File:Pillarstodes.jpg|400px|left|thumb|[https://youtu.be/R9w_uoUHgiE?t=1m40s ''"After the confinement of the Emperor within the Golden Throne, the Custodes abandoned, among other things, the use of their armour, and their traditional colour of red was changed to black."''] - Horus Heresy: Collected Visions. Hence, the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDEbsZpweDo Pillarstodes] meme isn't actually too far from the truth.]]

*'''[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device#Team_Emperor|Little Kitten]]''' - known on /tg/ as the Captain-General of the group during ''If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device'', whose art you might've recognized from the second picture in the article near the top. His exact identity is a (deliberate) mystery, with later episodes and shorts confirming that he is neither Constantin Valdor nor Trajann Valoris. What ''is'' known is that he was the Custodian who brought Alicia Dominica to the Emperor during the [[Age of Apostasy|Reign of Blood]]. He's known for basically telling Big E what is everything, and is called "Kitten" for purring up the ranks of the Custodes. Kitten has a vaguely British accent, and he hates [[Tau|Communist fuckers]] with a passion. <s>(It's actually because [[Shadowsun|one]] was tsundere enough that she dropped him before he could tap that ass.)</s> SHIT'S NOT CANON! Also manage to beat a million tons worth of [[cheese]] in [[Yu-Gi-Oh|a children's card game]]. [[Just as planned|Twice]]. The other Custodes (baring the Fab-Stodes) make clear that they elected Kitten to the position of Captain-General because despite being a mild-mannered people-pleaser rather than a Warmaster, he alone cares more for the well-being of the Custodes than anyone else and takes the often thankless job of Caretaker very seriously.
**Retroactively, he is '''Longinus''', see above.

*'''"[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device#Imperials_(So_sorta_good_guys)|Fab-Custodes (Wamuudes, Custodisi, Karstodes)]]"''' - aka the Pillar-stodes, See 4th picture for an idea of what they look like. They are the codifiers of the Fabulous Custodes from [[Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader|First Edition]] (see above), and they are NUTS. The Fabstodes are oily, snickering, gay as [[Slaanesh]]'s hell and love it. Seriously, even Kitten knows this and is worried for the Emperor's safety around them, saying that none of this was his idea. This said, they are as loyal to humanity as they come, and they're also Tribunes with all the martial skills that go with the rank, which means they can also fuck shit up when needed. This is demonstrated when they took on [[Magnus the Red]] and did not get reduced to a smear, despite fighting almost naked and while he was raging in his Daemonic True Form. Over time each of the Fab-Custodes gained additional characterization from one another; Karstodes regularly bullies a vox-serf to cover his insecurities concerning his illiteracy and general lack of intelligence (though he gradually warms up to the boy), Custodisi had a rather unhealthy fixation on Magnus (though learned to tone it down after receiving a near-death experience from the Emperor), and Wamuudes is the most detached of the three from humanity, but is a neat freak par excellence and is committed to the less-glamorous aspects of serving as the Emperor's caretaker (meaning cleaning out the sewers under the golden throne). The Fab-Stodes gain a newfound respect for Kitten following their stint as the new Caretakers, and seeing Kitten using his authority as a High Lord to get shit done on the Emperor's behalf.

*'''"Santodes"''' - A fourth among the ranks of the Fabstodes, Santodes is no less FABULOUS for his lack of screentime. He was present during the sacrifice of [[Ollanius Pius]]. Little Kitten seems to hate the guy... to the point of shoving Santodes right in front of Fucking Horus after Pius died. Santodes "survived", and commissioned a custom [[Dreadnought]] body shaped like his muscled naked body (<s>erotic</s> well-crafted enough to arouse [[Skitarii]]) that could show off his luscious golden locks, and now his thermic reactor puuUUlsaaAAttes with EXCITEMEEEENT! Santodes may be every bit as looney as the other Fab-Stodes, but he's also clever enough to know how to use his archeotech body to seduce Skitarii into allowing them to see the Fabricator-General.