Editing Goblin (section)

=[[Warcraft]]=

{{Topquote|Every great goblin invention was born from necessity, bubble gum, or an accident.|Goblin adage}}

Goblins are a staple race in the Warcraft franchise. They are green-skinned, very short, have long and strong fingers, beaky noses, large pointy ears, and sharp teeth.

In Warcraft 2, when the game expanded to more than just Humans, Orcs, Ogres, and Demons, Goblins were first mentioned. They were small mechanically-inclined lunatics who invented great devices and were god-tier chemists. They offered their services to the Horde since it gave them more opportunities to wreak havoc and the races that would come to be those of the Alliance had ignored them for their entire history. The Goblins mainly performed recon and VIP transport for the Horde via their Zeppelins, demolitions in the form of suicide Sapper squads, the invention of airtight missile-launching capsules that were tied to the backs of giant turtles to use as submarines, and finally experimenting on their Forest Troll allies to transform them into giant Berserkers. In secret they also helped the resident Sauron, an insane evil dragon named Deathwing, in his various endeavors. Goblins were described as insane, sadistic, and greedy for gold.

In Warcraft 3, Goblins became a neutral group. It was revealed only a small portion of the Goblin race actually worked with the Horde, while the others have always provided their services to anyone with gold to spend and after the fall of the first Horde they have enforced that their own race remain entirely neutral to all factions. They did little of importance other than provide transportation for the various power players in this time. When the second Horde was building their capital of Durotar, a small number of Goblins lead by world famous Gazlowe provided them with fair deals (which is itself a big deal for their race) for Goblin services including demolition.

In vanilla World of Warcraft, Goblin lore expanded even further; a small number of Goblins were seen in the Alliance, some among the Horde, while it was revealed almost the entirety of their race dwell on an island called Kezan which has a massive underground city called the Undermine. The Cartels run Kezan, the most powerful of which is the Steamwheedle Cartel which performs the basic services offered in Warcraft 3. They maintain a few cities around the world including Ratchet (Gazlowe's city nearby Durotar), Booty Bay (a port which services anyone who reaches it, mainly pirates although they are just as much at threat from pirate attack), Gadgetzan (a desert city of scum and villainy, plus a small gladiatorial arena), and Everlook (a town high in the mountains of Kalimdor nearby ancient magical Elf ruins).

Goblins have a racial rivalry with the other mechanically-minded race, [[Gnomes]], although hostility varies from giant robot wars to having a giant racetrack where they see which race can build the best vehicles to next-door neighbors who collaborate with each other on inventions and take any opportunity to try and make the other admit their philosophy is better. In general, the Goblin philosophy is "Chemicals, 50% chance of exploding is acceptable, build it fast, what we’re really here to make is big bucks people!" while the Gnomish philosophy is "Magic and radiation, 10% chance of turning anything from your hair a different color to your entire self into a chicken is acceptable, take your time and spend decades if need be, do it all for the love of knowledge and invention".

In Cataclysm, Goblins recieved a MAJOR update as they became a player race. One of the cartels which was one of the weaker ones (having their section of Kezan entirely on the surface, mainly producing pop culture, cars, sports, and edibles) joined the Horde after Deathwing set their portion of Kezan on fire (since in the middle of a not-football game a ball was kicked and hit him). Their trade prince sold the entire Cartel into slavery after charging them all their possessions for supposedly safe passage off the island, and the ships were caught in a naval battle between the Horde and Alliance. After conquering the island, they then joined the Horde which was in the middle of becoming a fascist genocidal dictatorship again thanks to shit leaders (also, their trade prince got to keep his job despite the mess he caused). They quickly upgraded the Horde from catapults to giant robots and from bow and arrow to machineguns, then created their own new capital by completely renovating a huge chunk of the continent into the symbol of the Horde complete with a Mount Rushmore of their racial leader. During the Kezan levels it was also revealed that Goblins have become multicultural, taking on things previously alien to them like worship of the light and shamanism (although the former is seen as a combination of medic and television evangelism, while the latter is perceived as cutting deals with nature). Kezan is very modern and has television, pop stars, sunglasses, champagne, fancy cars, neon lights, not-Chinese food, electricity and lightbulbs, and many other conveniences not seen elsewhere in the rest of the Renaissance setting outside the homeland of the Gnomes.

Goblin origins were also explained. In ancient times, Goblins were a semi-intelligent race of monkeys which were enslaved by Island Trolls and forced to mine a substance called Kajamite. Kajamite has a side-effect of causing a huge boost to intelligence (although not coherent thought) in anyone who imbibes it, and one day the Troll slavemasters entered the mines to whip their tiny laborers and were disintegrated with laser beams. Since then, the Goblins have mined Kajamite and used it as an ingredient in ingestibles of all kinds (including "Kaja-cola") although their supply was beginning to run out, and there was fear they may regress back to being mere monkeys without it. Like most Cataclysm plots, this was never brought up again, although there were hints that with the Kaja-cola that was left everywhere they go, that monkeys drinking it have started becoming intelligent as well.

Goblins in Warcraft 2 had extremely squeaky, high-pitched voices, and tended to babble or shriek. In Warcraft 3 the shrillness of the voice was lessened, and they became more calm and coherent. The Goblins in World of Warcraft still have a voice that is higher-pitched than a human, although only slightly more for males, while gaining something of an American Brooklyn accent. The non-Bilgewater Goblins still speak in their Brooklyn accent or a general American accent, whereas the Bilgewater Goblins speak like they're from New Jersey both in accent and expression.

<gallery>
Image:GoblinZeppelin.png|A Goblin Zeppelin pilot in Warcraft 2.
Image:GoblinSappers 2.jpg|Goblin Sappers in Warcraft 2.
Image:Goblin Sappers.jpg|Warcraft 3 Goblin Sappers.
Image:Goblin Tinker WX.png|Warcraft 3 Goblin Tinker.
Image:WoW Goblin Fem.jpg|World of Warcraft female Goblin player characters.
Image:Warcraft Goblin Player Male.jpg|World of Warcraft male Goblin player characters.
Image:GOBLINS AND GNOMES.jpg|Goblin/Gnome rivalry.
Image:Kezan.png|The Bilgewater portion of Kezan.
Image:Goblin Easter.png|Goblins are into holidays in a big way, either as a business conspiracy or over-enthusiasm.
Image:Goblin femSapper.jpg
</gallery>
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