Editing Catachan Jungle Fighters (section)

==Catachan: A ''very, very, very, very, very'' shitty place to live==
[[File:Catachan Scout.jpg|300px|thumb|right|There are women with the Catachan Jungle Fighters, and they're even tougher than their male counterparts, since they have to raise the bastards!]]
{{Topquote|Out there beyond that fence every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes.|[[Avatar|Colonel Miles Quaritch]] }}

If you think it sucks where you live... well, you know absolutely nothing. Here are just a few reasons why Catachan is the last place in the entire galaxy outside the [[Warp]] or [[Commorragh|Comorragh]] you would (or should) visit. It is canonically stated as being the worst death world in the '''ENTIRE''' Imperium, nudging out even the likes of Fenris and Cretacia... pussies:

*Humanity is near the '''BOTTOM''' of the food chain.
*Half of the babies are ''eaten violently'' before they are three.
*Half of those survivors are then eaten before they are ten, so you have a 1/4 chance of survival to adulthood.
*You have to be a deadly fighter by the time most humans have learned to spell.
*Every living thing on the planet is poisonous, carnivorous, or both. Even the plants, like the Brainleaf that takes over the minds of anyone that comes into contact with its leaves (which it can shoot several yards away), and the Spiker, which turns anyone who is pricked by one of its spines into another Spiker.
*Agriculture is impossible on Catachan's soil. As a result all your food either comes off-world or from whatever animals the hunting party managed to subdue. Do note that because every animal on Catachan is designed to kill, any non-venomous creature you meet will either be a powerful warrior hunter beyond reason or cunningly brutal predator, so dinner is more likely to be the diner when bringing them down.
*Most predators on Catachan aren't just giant monsters like you'd find on [[Space Wolves|Fenris]] or [[Flesh Tearers|Cretacia]]. That would just be too easy. Many of Catachan's most lethal killers are small and seemingly harmless, so they will almost certainly kill you before you even see them. An example of this are the Heretic Ants (named because they start by eating away at men's soles) and the Great Catachan Barking Toad, which explodes into a cloud of absurdly lethal poison when startled that kills everything within a one kilometer radius- including the toad itself. If that isn't enough, even Power Armour can't protect you. In fact, no known armour can prevent the toads explosion from reducing you and everything else to a pile of steaming goop.
*There is so much dense jungle and so many deadly animals that Catachan does not need a planetary defense system, as the wildlife scares off the Tyranids and the Orks(who actually live there, but try to escape this hellhole as fast as possible). Only Hardcore Khornate Chaos Space Marines were <strike>brave</strike> mad enough to ''attack'' Catachan some time after Great Rift opening, and if you asked them why, they would have said: "Why the fuck not? This planet is fucking amazing for us." Needless to say, all of them feed Catachan's analogue of worms now. The effectiveness of Catachan's ecosystem is ''so'' good that it and the Catachan Jungle Fighters on the planet managed to repel a full-fledged daemon invasion ''when they were caught directly in the middle of the Great Rift''. Yes, not even the reality-bending bullshit of the Warp can stop Catachan and the Devils.
*Some of its wildlife is so deadly, that they have been released on worlds just to prevent invasion. (With hilariously predictable results; Ie: Infestations, killing the poor bastards who were already living there.)
*You have to burn the jungle away from your village with a flamethrower at least once a day.
*The planet's major export is soldiers. No, wait. The planet's ''only'' export is soldiers.
*You live at several times Earth's gravity. But it's not THAT many times, or the Catachan people would be a good deal shorter, yet for some reason they are taller than most humans despite having no [[Space Marines|biological modifications]] or [[Adeptus Mechanicus|mechanical modifications]]. That we know of. Perhaps the original colonists (which was likely a crash landing or penal colony) had gene mods. Maybe even crafted from the fauna of Catachan itself...
*Or in other words: Living on Catachan is like living perpetually in the first stages of a [[Tyranid]] invasion. In fact, some Magos Biologi have theorized that some of the wildlife (such as the Catachan Devils- monstrous half-scorpion half-centipede horrors that are capable of tearing apart tanks on their own) may have actually been Tyranid bio-forms that were separated from the Hive Mind and went feral in the distant past. In an issue of White Dwarf, Games Workshop even had the Catachan Devil as a Tyranid unit.