Editing Halflings (Warhammer) (section)

==On Halflings==
Halflings are short, stoutly built humanoids, naturally tending towards the portly given their propensity for eating and drinking in ridiculously large quantities. They have rosy cheeks although this isn't a natural trait so much as the result of their constant intake of ale and imported wine. Both the men and women have hairy feet and tend to go barefoot, but sporting a beard is rare given that Dwarfs thought them to be children and know them as unbearded folk.

While the general perception among folk who haven't met them is they are peaceful simple folk unaccustomed to war, the truth is they take after their Ogre cousins a great deal but just have a culture that doesn't reward the ambition needed for conquest and live in a land that provides for their massive appetites. Non-Halflings in Halfling lands can sometimes feel uneasy, and its implied that killing troublesome foreigners and eating them in pies is not unheard of. Halflings live in extended families among their clans, and have rivalries that can be bitter but rarely result in war. A result of this lifestyle is a general belief that you can just take anything you need since everyone is kin anyway, and when they need it they'll just come and take it back...or take a similar item from someone else who shares their blood anyway. When in foreign lands (or working as chefs/servants in the rest of the Empire) they will still show this trait from time to time and have developed a reputation as thieves (although nowhere near as bad as fucking [[Kender]] at least). The more aggressive Halfling takes this trait to its logical conclusion, as Halfling brigands, poachers, and bandits are well known throughout the lands of men.
Ever since being granted the Moot they have organized militias of bowmen for standard defense, but in times of trouble they'll form true armies. Some Halflings of a more militaristic bent will enlist in Empire armies, usually as mercenaries. Others are strangely attracted to the armies of Ogres or in companies of Maneaters, despite the fact that Ogres will constantly enslave their people for their cuisine and even eat them; its possible that willing Halflings are treated with more respect and enslavement occurs when no willing Halfling can be found. Ogres greatly prize access to Halflings for their cooking skills, and the greatest of Tyrants almost certainly have at least one on standby. Mankind similarly enjoys Halfling cooking despite the aforementioned thievery, although its unknown if races like Elves and Dwarfs or even Vampires would desire having them around.

As you'd expect given their "inspiration", Halflings have almost supernatural sneaking ability and a strange affinity for nature; they instinctively are aware of the best farming techniques and conditions, and have a connection to the forests that are beyond even that of [[Wood Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Wood Elves]] (treekin are somewhat resentful of the Elves and fiercely hate every other race, other than Halflings who they serve by simple request).

Being a rural folk, even in their towns, the Halflings are earthy types who enjoy good food, strong drink, a good smoke, and conversation that would turn a Marienburg marine’s ears blue. Expressive to a fault, Halflings think nothing of discussing their aunt’s nightly business with perfect strangers in complete detail. “Just to pass the time, y’know.” They love a good chat and strangers are welcomed by farmers along the roads as long as they bring gossip, coin, or lunch. Or preferably all three.

In essence, they're a send-up of the original [[Hobbits]], just hornier. No, we're not kidding. There's a story in [[White Dwarf]] involving a dwarf army needing to defend the Moot against an orcish invasion; one dwarf general is scandalized by a halfling barmaid who keeps bluntly flirting with him, complete with pinching his arse, and mention is made of a pair of halfling youths deciding that underneath a dwarven battle wagon was a great place for a shag - and not stopping when the wagon rolled off of them despite being surrounded by mortified and pissed-off dwarves.

It's possible that the Halflings and Ogres were meant to be companion species in a similar manner to Kroxigors and Skinks. While there are exceptions, members of the two races have an uncanny tendency to get along when they meet. After the depature of the Old Ones left the two species in seperate geographic locations, the Ogres started taking on Gnoblars as their protectorates, which could be related to their affinity with Halflings through the Ogres trying to fill in the void caused by their missing companions with an inferior substitute.