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===Chapter 1===

I smiled at the guardsman standing before us. The way that a man stands at attention can tell you a lot about him. Despite who we were, he held no fear in his eyes. He felt he had nothing to fear. His uniform was in pristine condition, his medals worn proudly. His chest was puffed out; the man was a proud guardsman. Even still, the recent battles still shown on his face. It wasn't in the eyes like some, nor was it in scars. It was the face of a man who had lost a lot of weight recently.

"At ease," I said in a reassuring tone. Instantly he was at parade rest. "Please, have a seat. I'm sure that you're wondering why you were brought before this council... Do you mind if I call you James? Or is that too informal for you?"

Most members of the Inquisition rely on the fear associated with them in order to get their jobs done. On occasion, we made use of it. Sister Catherine, who sat to my right, took the central seat for most of those inquests. However in situations like these, where we believed that we could get more with honey than vinegar, my own skills were brought to the forefront.

The soldier smiled a little as he sat. "Not at all, sir. You can call me anythin' that you want. Even the Commissar calls me Jim."

"Excellent." My smile grew a little wider, a sign of approval. So did his. A good sign. "Jim, I'd like to ask a few questions if that's alright with you."

"These are just formalities. Your career serving the Imperium of Man is well documented, of course, but we'd like to hear your thoughts. Where are you from?"

"Hygar III, sir. It's an agro-planet."

"I see. Tell me about when you joined the Imperial Guard."

Jim took a deep breath. "Well, sir, it was durin' the attacks. It wasn't anythin' like a warp storm or nothin' so we didn't have no warnin's. One day, everythin' was good, an' the next, we was under attack. Ugly, filthy creatures o' Chaos." He looked like he wanted to spit. "I wasn't in the Guard yet, but they got hit pretty bad. It wasn't even the Guard who came to where we lived askin' for volunteers. It was the planetary government. I thought about it for a moment, an' realized that what they say is true. Better ta die for a purpose than live without reason, you know? Musta been about ten seconds after he asked before I stepped forward. Next thin' I knew, I was on my way. I was gonna be a Guardsman, fightin' in the name of the Emperor." I thought that it was funny how he slurred his words, yet spoke the Emperor's name clearly.

He paused, but I raised my eyebrows for him to continue. He was starting to relax and open up. "I was kinda sped through, you know? They needed bodies out there until the Adeptus Astartes arrived. We were told some were on their way, but until then, it was just us Guardsmen to keep the planet from fallin'. So there wasn't much in the way of trainin'. Basic march, basic lasrifle operation, that sort of thin'. Three days, to be honest with you. I heard that the governor got inta a bit of trouble after it was all over for forcin' that through." The soldier's lip sneered for a moment, but he quickly relaxed again. "Still, that ain't what you asked, now is it?"

"No," I admitted, a well-practiced laugh escaping me. "But I share your sentiment." Confusion crossed his face only long enough for to open my mouth. He nodded and smiled again; catches on fast. "Please, continue. I'd like to hear your account of what happened. It's very interesting so far."

That touched on his pride. Another good thing to get people to open up. Make them feel more worthy than they really are. Compliments are good for that.

"Well, see, we ended up bein' stationed near the line. It wasn't easy, you know? We all knew that eventually those mutants would break through, destroy the town, then head our way. The lieutenant... he wasn't too good about keepin' secrets like that. He was scared, and let thin's slip."

"Were you scared, Jim?" I had to work to make myself sound as pleasant as possible. Just curious about his story.

"Yeah," he said slowly. "Yeah, I was. But that made me mad, too. I saw guys more scared than me, and they weren't even recitin' the fear incantation. That's what made me mad. I said it out loud once and only once. That's all I needed. The other guys... They didn't know, you know? After that, I set myself to work. I ain't no heretic, and if the guys in charge aren't gonna give me somethin' to do, then by the Emperor, I'm gonna find somethin' myself." He paused for a moment, lookin' like he had just caught himself. "Now, I ain't sayin' that the Commissar wasn't doin' his duty, mind you. He was givin' speeches, marchin' through the ranks, makin' sure everybody knew that we were fightin'. For the Emperor, for our homes, for humanity. Those that looked like they were gonna change their minds about bein' guardsmen... Well, they were found wantin'."

"I understand," I said reassuringly. "There was a report from that Commissar, however, that a young recruit showed an aptitude for defensive fortification."

"That," he said in his drawl, ducking his head. "Wasn't nothin'. Idleness breeds heresy, right? Like I said, I ain't no heretic, and I wasn't about to let the lieutenant let us sit on our thumbs. He was new as us, so he didn't really know what all he should set about us doin'. Yeah, we had a nice bunker line, but it was still new. A mess, too. Artillery shells when we didn't have none. Fuel when we had no vehicles. Ammunition that we couldn't use... Nobody had even put up flackboard yet. When I found out that we had plenty, I guess I... kinda asked if we could put it up." He glanced at me and guessed my next question. "Then, as we was settin' that up, I noticed the field outside. Got to thinkin', we'd have more time to shoot 'em if it took longer to get to us, you know? I mentioned it, too, and we got the go ahead to start diggin' trenches. Not so deep that they'd be able to use 'em for cover, but enough to slow 'em down. Got the idea from the primer. Dig deep and the Emperor provides, you know? Honestly, I don't know why he mentioned it. I ain't that smart. It wasn't nothin' that nobody else wouldn'ta thought of once we started doin' somethin', or once the lieutenant got ta that part of the Tactica Imperium, so I never saw what the fuss was about."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Sister Catherine's eyebrow raise. Humility. Most soldiers would brag about that sort of thing.

"Besides," Jim continued, "the good idea wasn't even mine. One of the other soldiers came up with a good idea. She was a thinker, that Lyssandra. She got to thinkin' while we was diggin'. Thought, we got all this fuel that we ain't gonna use since we got no armor, and wouldn't it be kinda ironic if they ended up burnin' themselves tryin' to get to us?" Something that Catherine could appreciate, no doubt. Jim laughed a little and continued. "Liked her, Lyssandra. She was like me, liked to work but also liked to smile. Knew some good jokes, the kind that take the edge off. 'Course, the Commissar didn't like the idea, thought it was wastin' fuel, but it wasn't like we was gonna line the trenches with it until the mutants were headin' for us. The lieutenant liked the idea, though, so the Commissar didn't say nothin'. I think he was happy we was keepin' ourselves busy. He only had ta find one more person wantin'. Good man, that Commissar."

"Anyway, we'd gotten the word that the line had broken and they was headin' our way. Be there within the day. We prepped our lasguns and got to chantin'. Every prayer and litany you can think of, we said it. When it was my turn to sleep, I tore through my primer. The Commissar caught me, though. Demanded to know why I wasn't restin'. I tells him, 'The enemy's comin', sir, and I wanna be ready for 'em. Gotta know my stuff to be ready.' He just looked at me for a moment, then nodded once. 'Ten minutes, then try and sleep,' he says." Jim paused, smiling sadly. "He was a good man. Good Commissar. Commissar Vanderkampf. Coulda punished me for that, and I wouldn'ta blamed him. I was supposed to be gettin' some last rest and instead, I was readin'. He knew I was right, though. We were all under trained and shakin' in our boots, so havin' somebody who knew their stuff would come in handy. He knew when to be firm, and knew when to give. Seen too many that were one way or the other. Wish he coulda come with me."

I forced a sympathetic expression onto my face as he lost himself to his thoughts. I gave him a moment before prodding in a gentle voice. "From the reports, the combat was brutal."

He chuckled weakly, but talking seemed to break him out of the past. "Yeah, it was. 'Course, I didn't realize that at the time. All I knew was that I had to keep alert, like the Primer says. Alert for the heretics, alert on my own mind, alert on the others. It was actually kind of a relief when I saw them; there wasn't the question of when any more. Focus on the front line, line up a shot, litany of the lasgun and of accuracy, shout the incantation of battle... The Commissar, he bellowed fire the moment they was in range, and I pulled the trigger. Just kept right on pullin', too. Soon as I sight one, pull. Sight one, pull. They made it to the trench, we lit the det-tape, and they started burnin'. I grinned and glanced up. That's when I saw it."

"The daemon," Catherine muttered.

"Yeah," Jim said with a weak chuckle. "Way in the back, like a coward, pushin' the mutants forward. Fear is naught, for my faith is strong." He made the sign of the Aquila over his chest. "I didn't know what else they was bringin', so I just went back to shootin' anythin' that was within range. I... I wasn't good at prioritizin' targets back then. If I could draw a bead, shoot it. If it didn't die, shoot it again. Keep on shootin' until it dies, then start over again. We'd slowed 'em down but good, you know? Ended up wearin' out my battery. I was just doin' the litany of loadin' when I dropped the fresh one." He paused for a moment, then gave me an innocent smile. "See, I know that the Emperor watches over us because of that. I know that he caused me to drop it. I know that he was helpin' me, because he knew that I was faithful, and because I'd learned every single prayer, litany, incantation and chant in the Primer. I know, because I'd just crouched to grab it when the rockets hit."

"I didn't even know what kinds of rockets they had, or what kinds of mutants were carryin' it. All I know is that when they hit the trenches, those rockets musta cooked real good, because they started poppin'. Well, when I could hear again." He laughed. "Blast knocked me about but good, you know? Glad we put up that flakboard, for all the good it did. Still tore through the bunker, but kept us from gettin' hurt worse. When I remembered where I was and where I was, I sat up. So much for cover. Jammed the reload in, started firin'. Like I said, though, I wasn't too good at prioritizin' targets, so one got up to me. Went to spear him with my bayonett, but he knocked my thrust to the side. Got a Catachan kiss for his troubles, too." Another laugh escaped the soldier. "Though, I think I hurt my head almost as much as it hurt his. Either way, gave me a chance to stick him good. Just like the good book says, got him two more times, too. Just to make sure."

"Some of the others were gettin' back up, but it almost seemed like they were fallin' back down just as quick. 'Bout this time, though, the fires was goin' out and they was comin' faster. I'll be honest, I thought I was done for. I wasn't gonna go down without a fight, though. Took cover behind what was left of the wall and started chuckin' my grenades, all two of 'em. Didn't think about grabbin' any from the body I was practically standin' on. Like I said, I was new. Young and stupid, you know? The daemon was barely within range now, but I wasn't thinkin' about that. Forgot what the Primer said, I guess. I was takin' out the little guys. I had this crazy notion in my head that if I took out enough, then the next line could take out the daemon. Still, I thought... I knew I was dead as they rushed what used to be our nice bunker."

"Is that when reinforcements arrived?"

"Yeah." Jim grew uncomfortable over that. "The Primer, it don't say nothin' about it, but I wasn't breathin' so I missed them comin' in."

That made me lean forward, curious. "I don't understand."

He scratched at the side of his face thoughtfully. "Well, it's somethin' that I've noticed. Little differences between the new guys and us, you know? The new guys, they don''t breathe. I mean, they do, but they forget to do it a lot when thin's get thick. Start holdin' their breath. When they do that, they forget what's goin' on around them, like they can't see it. They only see what's, you know, right in front of 'em, no matter how downrange it is. Like lookin' through a scope. Personally, I think somebody should make mention of it somewhere, but I'm not gonna question how we're taught or what's put in the Primer." He shook his head. "I ain't no heretic.

"But, see, that's the only way that I can think of that I didn't notice them. I think back, and every time, I'm just fightin' for the Emperor, and then they're shootin' every one of those guys." He shook his head a bit. "Don't remember anythin' after that, though. I only knew they was Adeptus Astartes because the Commissar told me so after the fact. I hit my head, see, and was out for it all. Wish I coulda seen 'em in action.”

“That's a lie,” Sister Catherine hissed. Jim sat back, fear entering his eyes for the first time.

I held up my hand to ward off her accusation. She didn't like it, but she settled down. Returning my attention to the guardsman in front of me, I offered him a sympathetic smile. “Jim, please. We know that you must have seen more than that. Just... be honest with us. You're no traitor, are you?”

He shook his head firmly. “I ain't no heretic.”

“Exactly,” I said in a soothing voice. “You've nothing to fear from us at all, then. Please. Tell us the truth.” The fear was still there, along with... conflict? I could see the troubled look in his eyes. Maybe I was using the wrong tactic. He was a good soldier, after all. “If it might make you feel any better, I could make it an order.”

That got him to relax a hair. A look of hope entered his eyes as he nodded to me.

“You're a good soldier, Jim. You always follow orders, and you obey the chain of command. It says so in every report about you.” I smiled sympathetically. “I order you to tell me the truth about what happened.”

It was like a weight had been lifted off of his chest. His smile returned slowly, though it was a little uneasy. “Thank you,” he murmured.

“See, when you see a blast like that shoot straight through a guy you're aimin' for, you sorta realize that somebody else is there no matter how deep you are. So I looked up and seen them.” He paused again, smiling almost childishly. “When I was a kid, I used to dream a bein' an Adeptus Astarte. That some chapter would come and choose me to go through the trials, so that one day I would wear that holy power armor. Childish dreams, you know?

“So I looked up and I saw them. Silver armor that seemed to reflect the sun. I couldn't see the sun, but it shined on their armor plain as day. There were five of them, but that was all that was needed. They were the Emperor's wrath, to purge the heretic and mutant from my homeworld. It didn't matter that the remainin' force outnumbered them so. It didn't matter that the daemon was approachin'. They would end this. I knew it in my bones. The Emperor had heard our prayers, and in His infinite wisdom, deemed us worthy of savin'. When they opened up on those heretics, I felt that I could die in the Emperor's grace with no regrets. But I didn't, of course. I put my head down and got to shootin'. Just because the Adeptus Astartes were here didn't mean that the fightin' was done. They was fightin', so I had to as well, you know? 'Course, I wasn't important no more to the heretics. I was only killin' one or two here and there. The Adeptus Astartes, they was mowin' through 'em. I kept prayin' and fightin' though. Bit by bit, those heretics fell, until only the daemon remained.”

He chuckled a little. “You know how I said I was scared before? Wasn't nothin' compared to when I realized that it was the only thin' I had to left to shoot. I don't think it even realized I was shootin' it, tell you the truth. It just went strait for the Emperor's mailed fist, you know?”

Jim grew quiet again, not quite seeing us anymore. I'd seen the look on the faces of plenty of soldiers. He wasn't sitting before us – he was firmly locked in the past. Reliving those events. “I... I can't describe the battle with it. I mean, I got the words, I just can't use them right. Brutal, really. It's the only thin' that I could think of to describe it. I never knew one of the Adeptus Astartes could be hurt, but he proved me wrong. Seein' them fall and not get up... I don't know when I stepped out behind of cover, but I just sort of started walkin' towards them, shootin' at it as if my shots might somehow take it down. The Captain, or maybe he was a Sergeant, I'm not entirely sure about their ranks, he got into melee with it. His glowin' sword flashed swung an the daemon attacked. The two connected at the same time and... he fell, and it staggered. It almost kinda... I don't know, flickered, you know? Just... It was hurt bad, I know that much.

“That's when the one screamed and fired a shot. Didn't come close to hittin' the bastard, but he was alive and tryin' still. I looked and... Well, I kinda wished that I hadn't. His helmet was gone, along with most of his face. Bleedin' out pretty bad, and there wasn't a chance of him hittin'. Kinda hard to shoot when you don't got no eyes any more. The daemon turned and staggered, and I knew what was gonna happen. That's... That's when I decided to do somethin' about it.”

He was lost in the past, so I dared a glance behind me. The sanctioned psyker was silent, his face unreadable underneath his hood. He'd let me know if he felt any taint coming from the guardsman before us. For now, he was silent.

As Jim began to talk again, I focused my attention back onto him. “I ran up to the guy and... Well, I can't say that I grabbed that cannon he held, but I put my hands on it and heaved. Yelled, let me be your eyes. Praise be to the Emperor, he might've been blind, but he could still hear. He moved that big gun for me as I tried my best to aim it for him. I yelled fire, and he pulled that trigger. Didn't hit, though. Missed by that much. So I wrapped myself around the gun so that I could sight better, closed one eye, and guided it towards center of mass, whisperin' the chant of accuracy. The daemon was so close to us now, I really had to crane to get it aimin' right. With my head on that big thin', I yelled fire again... and everythin' went dark.

“Next thin' I know, the Commissar's slappin' me in the face. Hurt like I was gonna die, but I was still breathin'. The Emperor Protects, right? The recoil from the gun got me right in the face.” Jim laughed, coming back to the present and smiling at me. “Knocked me clean out. The Commissar found me underneath that big guy. He'd crawled on top of me blind, propped himself up so that he wouldn't crush me when he died. I can say that they all died protectin' all of us, but he died protectin' me."

“The Commissar, he got me to tell him the whole thin'. He wasn't lookin' too good. One arm wasn't workin' right and he'd lost an eye, but he was still as powerful a man as ever. He's the one who ordered me to keep quiet about it, see? Tell that version of the story, that I'd got knocked out before I saw anythin'. Ordered me to promise it. I ain't no heretic, when a Commissar gives you an order, you follow it.” He paused to bite his lip for a moment. “But I'm happy you ordered me to tell you. You deserve to know what really happened down there.”

Little did the man know.

“Anyway, after that it wasn't anythin' too much. Dig people out of the rubble and apply first aid. Wait for people to show up. The Commissar made sure that nobody could see the Adeptus Astartes. Never did find out why, never did ask. He had his reasons, I guess. But he made me promise, and I kept it.

“A week later, I was restin' up when a request came for anybody who was leftovers to volunteer for a mission. Needed guardsmen on another planet nearby, a week ago. Maksim and me, we was in pretty good shape, except for the shiner on my face, so we both stepped up. And that, really, is pretty much all there is to that. That's how I joined the guard.”

My smile was genuine. Already, we were getting to the heart of the matter, all without having to ask him directly.