Editing Memories of a Stone Wall (section)

===Act I: Enter Hida Ishigaki===
:>Get picked out as an Emerald Magistrate.
:>Guess the Crab's affinity for Water does mean I'm good at spotting clues...oh wait testimony is the only real evidence.
:>Huh. Oh well, must be so I can spot tainted fuckers or something.
:>Show up for my first day on the job in my battered ass O-Yori. Tetsubo slung over my shoulder. Can't beat the classic look, screw all that crustacean shit.
:>Get looked at like I just crawled out of a midden. I cut my beard and everything too! Well, okay lopped it off with my tanto but still...!
:>There's an Isawa Water tensai, her pet Shiba, Kitsuki of fucking course, and one of those Mantis twats.
:>Yeah, yeah our "cousins." I don't buy it. Osono-Wo was a fucking CRAB, you minor clan money grubbing, peasant weapon swinging pissants do NOT get to call him your Ancestor.
:>His blood flows in MY veins. Literally. I can trace a direct paternal line all the way back to Hida himself, not just one of the Samurai that took his name.
:>Shugenja proceeds to cough up some blood during the meet and greet. Dafuk?
:>Weak smile, explains she's been sick since birth.
:>Impressed by her ability to Endure, keeping a proper face on even when she's clearly suffering. Tough girl. The fact that Benten was kind to her doesn't hurt either.
:>First job is pretty straightforward, Bandits need to be handled. Gotcha, now I know why they picked me, of all people, for such a prestigious post.

:>I'll spare you all the boring details. It went as you'd expect. I drew lots of attention and shrugged off their pathetic "attacks" with my armor and the strong Earth that all Crabs are blessed with, while the rest of the party took them down. The Mantis helped a little bit, I guess.
:>The Shugenja though, didn't hurt anyone. Not one offensive spell. She tried to hide it, but I saw her wiping away her tears after the fight was over. Huh. Quite the softie.
:>We head back into town, and I decide to reward myself with some good sake.
:>Wake up, head is fuzzy.
:>Waitwut?
:>I've NEVER gotten so drunk I don't remember the night before. My liver is made of high grade Kaiu Steel FFS...
:>Roll over, head pounding.
:>Stare at disheveled Tensai. Damn she's cute. And a nice rack peeking out of her torn kimonOHNO.

:>Screaming ensues.
:>Yoriki with Yari swarm into the room.
:>I'm under arrest.
:>Kitsuki scrambles to look for evidence.
:>Mantits starts asking around town, seeing if anyone saw anything.
:>Shiba sharpens his sword.
:>I keep my damn trap shut.
:>Mantits comes back. Everyone he spoke to saw me and the Shugenja leave together. No one saw or heard a thing after that, not even where we went.
:>"People didn't see shit, people didn't hear shit. I say it was Ninjas!" Flawless logic from that wannabe Samurai there.
:>Kitsuki examines the Sake bottle I was drinking from last night. He says he found proof that it was spiked. Probably by a Ninja. Kitsuki's are pretty smart, so he's probably not wrong. I was framed as rapist by a Ninja.
:>Shiba sharpens his sword.
:>I said I WAS FRAMED AS A RAPIST BY A NINJA!
:>Shiba puts his damn sword away.
:>Well, now that that's settled.
:>"Ahem. We're going to need some testimony on this, maybe someone confessing to drugging you. Otherwise as things stand..."
:>Fuck my life.
:>Begin the Ninja hunt.
:>Start with waitresses.
:>Grill those half people. Grill 'em good.
:>First round of questions reveal that one of them has the hots for the proprietor's son.
:>I stare blankly.
:>Kitsuki thinks he knows what happened.
:>Bring her back for round two.
:>Kitsuki lets her have it. Spins this batshit insane story about how she spiked my Sake for a guy, who promised he would smooth things over with the proprietor so she could marry the boy she liked.
:>That is the most far fetched...
:>She breaks down in tears, admitting it.
:>I want to go back to The Wall where things make sense.
:>Go find Water tit-tensai.
:>Well this is awkward. But that's why I'm here.
:>Apologize profusely for this whole mess.
:>She gives me a smile that doesn't seem very sincere to me. Says it's not my fault so she doesn't blame me.
:>I believe her.
:>Tell her it's still okay to be pissed about this whole thing. We only cleared my name. Still no idea who was behind it, or why.
:>There's that smile again.

:>Our intrepid band engages in some more investigations, trails, and questions. I help by keeping my yap shut and punching things that try to run away when they get cornered. 
:>Heading to bathhouse one evening.
:>Dead body on the bridge.
:>Well that's not supposed to be there.
:>Hey, peasant, go to the inn and get the Kitsuki would ya?
:>I take a look without moving the dude. Big slice from shoulder to hip, almost cut him clean in two. 
:>Learned a thing or two about anatomy and all that from a Kuni friend back home. I realize this guy was cut from behind.
:>When the rest of the party gets there I shoo off all the lookie loos. 
:>Mention that it looks like the guy was cut from behind.
:>Kitsuki confirms this.
:>Not at all hard to find his killer. The dead guy was courting the city Governor's daughter.
:>So was the Kakita that was in town.
:>We confront said Kakita.
:>He admits to the whole thing.
:>But...
:>Says it was a fair duel.
:>BULLS....
:>Shiba cuts me off.
:>Oh right. Testimony. 
:>This Kakita is fairly high ranked himself. Our word vs his leaves the matter unresolved.
:>The Shiba then says it.
:>THAT IS BULLSHIT AND YOU ARE A MURDERER.
:>Welp, it's on now.
:>Shiba vs Kakita Iaijutsu duel at high noon.
:>Why the hell did you stop me? I could have taken him.
:>Incredulous stares.
:>Well, if the duel proves that the Kakita was a murderer then he would be executed right? Or at least forced to commit Sudoku?
:>Well, yeah.
:>So then the duel is to the death, right?
:>Yeah.
:>Well I've just learned The Mountain Does not Move! I could have taken him.
:>More incredulous stares.
:>I pout as I watch the Shiba and the Kakita stare at each other for way too long.
:>Shugenja girl is doing her damnedest not to fidget.
:>Should I put an arm around her? Better not.
:>Steel gets drawn, flashes in the noon sun.
:>Turns out the Shiba's connection to the Void was stronger.

:>A wild Monkey appears.
:>We've made our way north, now in the lands of the Phoenix.
:>Shugenja informs us that her father is the lord a coastal castle, suggest we stay there for a bit before continuing on.
:>Warm castle. Futon. Bath. Sake. Yes plz.
:>Meet and greet with her family. Her father has the nastiest case of resting bitch face I've ever seen. And I'm friends with a Kuni that never washes off his face paint.
:>Mom is normal enough. Seems a model Rokugani wife. I can see where our shugenja learned her manners.
:>Younger brother, not yet enrolled at a School.
:>Older brother, Earth Tensai, like their father.
:>The pleasantries drag on for fucking ever. Damn near everyone in our party is fidgeting a bit by now. Me and the Shiba are the only ones keeping still, but my legs have gone to sleep.
:>Shugenja starts to shake a bit during the meet n' greet.
:>Dad switches bitchface from passive to active. My Sensei would kill to be able to give a look of disapproval like that.
:>She swallows. Hard. Several Times.
:>Finally he waves his hand in dismissal.
:>As we're following the servants to the rooms he's giving us, I notice her lips are bright red.
:>She doesn't use makeup.
:>I stop, grab her shoulder and wipe her lip.
:>Blood.
:>She was having another coughing fit, but instead of letting it come up like normal she choked it back as best she could, then swallowed the blood.
:>I look her dead in the eyes.
:>"Why?"
:>By now, all of us know how to brew up her medicinal tea when she has her fits.
:>I'm the only one who gives no fucks about propriety and holds her up when we're in public though. There's that damn smile again.
:>"Oh, it wouldn't be good manners is all."
:>Except she's coughed at plenty of times when it wouldn't be good manners.
:>I want to press for more, but the Shiba is glaring hard enough to light my beard on fire so I let it drop.

:>That night shit gets real.
:>I hear something that snaps me awake.
:>Even after all this time away from the Wall, I still sleep in my armor with a powdered Wakizashi in my hands.
:>But it's not Oni.
:>It's flaming arrows.
:>Coming from the sea.
:>Or, more specifically, the boats floating IN the sea.
:>The Green and Gold boats.
:>Looks like the Mantis have decided to have yet another go at the Phoenix.
:>Well that shit's gonna be awkward later.
:>Grab my Tetsubo, run down to the gate.
:>Mantis Pirates are already swarming all over.
:>We've got a real war on our hands.
:>I do what Crabs do and rush to the thickest part of the fighting. The Crab are always in the Vanguard of a Multi-Clan force, after all.
:>Draw a line in the dirt with my Tetsubo.
:>Mantis come to a screeching halt, trying to figure out why there's a damn Crab in this Phoenix castle.
:>They rush forward.
:>I was born to do this. I've trained for this. I've fought on the wall against swarming hordes of chittering things and rotting corpses. Nothing can stand before my fury. The line holds.
:>The Monkey comes to join me.
:>BAM.
:>I'm on the ground spitting up my own blood and teeth.
:>The Monkey drags me clear as the Mantis swarm about.
:>Water Tensai uses her magic to knit my wounds closed. Not a scratch on me when I return to battle.
:>Again, dominate the shit out of this battle. Where I walk, Mantis bodies litter my path.
:>Monkey comes to help.
:>BAM.
:>Aaaaaaaaaaaand I'm down again.
:>Go away Monkey you're bad luck.
:>Don't you want me to get you clear?
:>GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU GODDAMN JINX!
:>Drag myself into a corner, prop myself up into a cool sitting pose resting on my tetsubo. At least I look good.
:>Somehow the others hold out and night ends with the Mantis being driven off.

:>Come the morn.
:>Daddy dearest is in fine form, accusing us all of being spies sent ahead of the Mantis force.
:>Because, you know, there's a Mantis in our group.
:>And Emerald Magistrates do that kind of thing.
:>And apparently his own Daughter.
:>And the Crab who almost died, TWICE. You stay outside a ten foot radius of me at all times Monkey.
:>The Kitsuki and the Shiba try, as gently as possible to point these things out to our irate host.
:>Spare me your trivial facts, plebs. I rule this castle and I've already decided what happened! (I might be paraphrasing him a bit there.)
:>Our little Shugenja starts coughing again.
:>She can't hold it back this time, it's a pretty bad attack. After everything that happened last night I'm not surprised.
:>I'm moving to catch her already.
:>Her father is faster.
:>SLAP.
:>HOW DARE YOU SHAME ME LIKE THAT CHILD!
:>Mom stares on impassively.
:>Younger brother on the verge of tears.
:>Older brother hides behind his fan.
:>We're all pissed. That's our little flower, our hana-chan. The gentlest, most kind hearted person we know. She's saved all our lives countless times with her magic, she has never once inflicted a single wound on anyone or anything, she endures a life of constant pain without a word of complaint.
:>Now I know why she thinks so little of herself.
:>Now I know why her smile never really reaches her eyes.
:>I'm a hair's breadth from becoming a murderer. I think the rest of our group will cover for me.
:>She lays her hand on my arm. She knows what I'm thinking.
:>She shakes her head.
:>I restrain myself.

:>Apparently his bout of child abuse has settled him down, like a drunkard getting his first swig of Shochu in a week. He lets the matter drop.
:>Our Shugenja does a tea ceremony for all of us that night. 
:>I really didn't want to, since I'm pretty sure I always spin the bowl too much...or not enough, and because I really didn't like the idea of having her sit there and serve me tea after everything she's been through.
:>But then I realized that being an Honorable person was just how she coped. So I went along with it.
:>By the Fortunes that shit is bitter. Why the hell is it so bitter? It's supposed to be calming, right? 
:>I do feel calmer though. Huh.
:>Never been much for property, so I just tell her I want to speak to her alone that night.
:>She's taken aback. A maiden shouldn't be unaccompanied with a man after all. But she said yes anyway.
:>Deep breath.
:>"So, you know how Crabs revere Strength, right? Because Hida was the Strongest of the Kami?"
:>"But he still lost in the first round of the tournament the Kami held. That's because there's all kinds of Strength, and he just didn't realize it at that time."
:>"Strength isn't just hitting things hard, or talking a crushing blow and cushioning it with you Earth and your armor. A reed is strong, because it yields to the hurricane and never gets uprooted."
:>She gives me the weirdest look.
:>"Uh, yeah. So anyway I'm trying to say that I think you're Strong. Really Strong. To be honest, I'm in awe. And maybe a little jealous."
:>She tilts her head and blinks.
:>"And I want to say, you're beautiful. Benten surely blessed you when you were born. And you strong..."
:>Fucking smooth there you dipshit. Just spit it out.
:>"I... I love you. I know I don't really have any property or anything...but I CAN trace a direct line back to Hida himself! I mean, my family split off from the main family back in the 8th century so like, half the clan would have to die before I would ever get even close to being the Hida family daimyo..."

:>Dare to look up.
:>She's crying.
:>Ya blew it, you fucktard.
:>She throws her arms around me.
:>Wat?
:>Hugs me tightly.
:>Dare to hope.
:>"You have been so kind to me, I always thought it was just pity. Where have you been hiding this philosopher until now?"
:>"Don't give me so much credit, I'm still the same idiot I've always been. I just see that having been born and raised a warrior it's not all that amazing that I'm good at it. You, on the other hand...
:>"Have been born and raised to be a Shugenja, in the Clan that is best known for their Shugenja."
:>"yeah but..."
:>"Please, no more compliments tonight. My heart cannot take it."
:>"Because I must turn you down."
:>"My father would never approve."
:>Contemplate murder for the second time that day.

:>She's right about him though. 
:>And considering how she is an Honorable and Dutiful child she will do as her father bids.
:>Well, she's got other family members.
:>Let's go see her mom.
:>Find her mother engaging in some Ikebana.
:>Realize I only know that word because of the time I've spent traveling with our Shugenja.
:>Sit down politely and wait to be acknowledged.
:>Think about what I'm here to talk about, decide to go full dozega.
:>Mother pauses when I do that. Then goes back to her arrangements.
:>Arranging intensifies.
:>Arranging intensifies.
:>Arranging intensifies.
:>Arranging intensifies.
:>Arranging intensifies.
:>I see, she's testing me. This family is fucking big on discipline. Fine. 
:>I'm going to show here that Crab's rep for being louts is due to how we cut loose when we're off duty. When we're ON duty however, not even the Lion can match our discipline.
:>She gets up, leaves the room.
:>Comes back.
:>Sets down more flowers where I can see them out of the corner of my eye.
:>Damn did she uproot her whole garden?
:>Settle in muscles, we're going to be here a while.
:>She decides to open the door to the garden. I can hear some water trickling, followed by a TOK. 
:>Water trickle
:>TOK
:>Water trickle
:>TOK
:>Water trickle
:>TOK
:>Water trickle
:>TOK
:>As my bladder starts to protest, I can see EXACTLY how much flower arranging she intends to do.
:>Damn, this bitch is merciless.
:>The Shiba shared some techniques with me to help quiet my mind. I use them to bolster my formidable stamina.
:>Finally a "May I help you?" from mom.

:>My spine cracks as I straighten up. Holy fuck I never would have guessed just holding still could hurt so much.
:>Now to use subtle innuendo and word play to dance around this sensitive topic while still conveying my point. I've seen the Kitsuki do that plenty of times in court.
:>"I wanna marry your daughter."
:>NAILED IT
:>"Whatever for?"
:>I had plenty of time to guess how she would respond, and had readied several responses of my own.
:>Whatever for? Was not one I was prepared for.
:>"What do you mean, whatever for? Isn't it obvious?"
:>Her mother hid her face with the sleeve of her kimono. It was a nice Kimono, fine red silk with gold threads weaving in intricate pattern I couldn't even begin to trace out in my head.
:>I wonder when it was that I started to notice other people's kimono's and feel embarrassed by my simple grey cotton one.
:>"There is no need to be coy, Ishigaki-san. My daughter is ill. She is frail. Why would a Crab, of all people, want to marry someone like that?
:>Oh this shit again. Fine.
:>Explain what Strength REALLY means to mom.
:>Her eyes, poking up over that sleeve go wider with each word. They threaten to engulf her whole head. By the time I'm finished I am talking to one giant eyeball.
:>Given how disciplined this family is, it dawns on me just how shocking the depth of Crab philosophy is to the rest of Rokugan. 
:>I'm kind of pissed off that this is so surprising.
:>Pretty sure I didn't let that show.
:>"So, anyway, I was thinking you might help me to convince your husband about this...
:>She snaps back to normal in an instant, and her gaze frosts over. 
:>I've never felt the cold really, a gift from my Ancestor Osono-Wo, but I had to suppress a shiver at that chilly stare.
:>"That will not be possible."

:>Mother sighs. A surprisingly heavy one.
:>"My husband has many duties as the lord of this castle. He is also a candidate for the next Master of Earth. As such alliances must be made, and favors exchanged."
:>Favors. He thinks of his daughter as a favor to be traded.
:>I know that's how it works in Rokugan, but it's actually a bit rarer in Crab lands than you'd think.
:>Most families let their kids find a spouse on their own, though if you're not married by the time your 25 the Family will step in and find you a spouse. 
:>It's because we've got a high attrition rate. We need lots of babies and couples who love each other a lot have lots of babies, it's as simple as that.
:>We Crabs are a practical bunch, after all.
:>Dejected I take my leave.
:>Well now what? Her younger brother isn't even in school yet, and her older brother looked like a daddy's boy.
:>"I believe I can help you."
:>HOLYSHITFUKWAT
:>Old instincts kick in as I whirl to beat the shit out of whatever the hell managed to sneak that close to me.
:>Check myself just in time to avoid killing her older brother.
:>He stares calmly at my fist that's almost touching his nose.
:>Smiles. 
:>"It's true what they say: 'When you wake a Crab, use a stick.'"
:>Cough. Straighten. Regain composure.
:>"As I was saying, I believe I can help you."
:>"You need only point out how little my father truly stands to gain from arranging a marriage for my sister."
:>Huh?
:>He smiles at my look of confusion.
:>"She has likely kept it hidden from you, the depths of her illness. The truth is my sister is unlikely to reach retirement age. Or even thirty."
:>"For that matter, her illness means that the rigors of childbirth... no even carrying a child in her womb would most likely prove fatal."
:>The way he said all that with the smile still on his face creeped me the fuck out.
:>"So, as she is no good for continuing a line, she would at best be relegated to marrying an old man with grown children. A plaything, if you will. "
:>Contemplatemurderagain.

:>"Oh, I do hope you're not put off by all this!"
:>"I realize that she's not worth much, but you would STILL be marrying up! You only need sequester her for a year or so while having a concubine bear your children, no one would ever know."
:>Kisada-sama grant me the strength to persevere through this visit, that I do not commit double homicide and shame my Ancestors.
:>At this point I wouldn't be surprised if the dad, older brother or both were maho-tsukai.
:>Actually, kinda hoping at least one of them is.
:>I manage to choke out a thank you to her brother for his "helpful advice".
:>And head for the Kitsuki's room.
:>Mantits is there. Great. 
:>So is the Jinx.
:>I spill my guts. Tell them everything I just went through. I need to know what the proper thing to do in this situation is, and I'm so far outside of what I consider normal I have no clue anymore.
:>Do I win the approval of my prospective Father-in-law by reducing the woman I want to be my wife to useless goods?
:>Do I grab her and elope?
:>Do I set this madhouse on fire and purge the Empire of the insanity that dwells within?!
:>The Mantis, with a roaring passion that filled the room, told me to give up on her and try for someone else.
:>The Monkey told me to elope, promised he'd cover for us.
:>The Kitsuki asked me what SHE thought we should do.
:>...
:>...
:>...
:>"... I've... got to go do something real quick."

:>Find Naomi, practicing her Calligraphy.
:>Sit down.
:>Relay the stories of how I spoke with her family.
:>She looks up at me with those sad eyes.
:>"I didn't want you to find out. But what my Brother says is true. I know how important a large family is to a Crab, but I will likely not be able to give you even a single child."
:>"Wait, is that why you turned me down?"
:>"Not just that, no. I must still respect my fath..."
:>"BULLSHIT YOU DO."
:>I'd had it. 
:>"That man treats you worse than an ETA. He shames himself, his house, your sensei and YOU by failing to recognize your talents. You're a fucking TENSAI! And I don't believe for one second that you couldn't have children. Water is the element of Healing, and Crabs all have a strong Earth! Our kids would be strong enough to live even if your illness makes it difficult! And I've got a friend who's a Kuni, he's always bitching to me about how every year they have to provide some new bit of lore or magical research in a big family meeting. I'm sure he'd love to work on some fortifying Earth magic to help!"
:>"I."
:>"Love."
:>"You."

:>Her father's face went from pink to crimson, to purple by the time she was done telling him her decision.
:>It was the most satisfying thing I'd ever seen. No way I could keep the grin off my face as I watched a man I had come to detest more than any Oni have an aneurism.
:>I thought I couldn't get any happier.
:>Then her father exploded in rage.
:>He didn't say anything. He was too furious to speak.
:>He just ran over to the little shrine at the far end of the room.
:>And grabbed the katana that was there.
:>And ripped it free of its sheath.
:>And pointed it at me.
:>I almost had an orgasm.
:>I picked up my blade and strolled out into the garden, accepting his foolhardy challenge.
:>I had just enough iaijutsu training that I could get my sword out in an instant if I needed it. My Kenjutsu technique was barely adequate for my Sensei to teach me the secret of Two Pincers, One Mind.
:>But he was a Shugenja. An overly proud Shugenja, but a Shugenja nonetheless.
:>The look Naomi gave me as we took our stances is the only thing that saved his life.
:>But I got my wife.