Editing Angry Marines (section)

== Assault Sergeant Dickface ==
* From the archives of Drywalker Fen
* File #61225A: Assault Sergeant Dickface
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Assault Marine Dickface was promoted to the rank of Sergeant during the Heresy of Drywalker Fen in 912.M41. His squad was to be deployed as an attack on the position of heretic leadership. Unfortunately the [[Thunderhawk]] that transported the squad was shot down by enemy fire and the brothers were scattered. During the attack Dickface had lost most of his equipment and had to make do with a weapon he found at the site of a bombed encampment; a two-handed [[chainsword]]. As he attempted to regroup with his squad, Dickface got his ass stuck in the fens of Drywalker. As he tried to pull himself free from the goop, Dickface had the idea of firing up his jump pack to full power. It eventually tore him free, but send him hurtling through the air. He noticed that by divine aid this was straight in the direction of his squad's target, and shouted "OPEN WIDE, MOTHERFUCKERS" before descending onto them like an angel of wrath.

Pict footage later determined that upon landing, through a combination of luck and skill, Dickface managed to shove his chainsword through the mouth of the heretic commander all the way down out of his pelvis, impaling him in a single motion. Dickface then proceeded to beat enemy command to death with the impaled body of their commander, after which he cut the weapon free through the corpse's back. Dickface then proceeded to repeat this on six infantry platoons, a score of heavy weapon teams and a trio of [[Sentinel]] walkers, killing their operators by pouncing on the cockpit and forcing the weapon through the vehicles' vision slits.

For his heroics and skill, Dickface was elevated to the position of Assault Sergeant and was granted one of the Chapter's "Angry [[Beakie]]" Mark VI Corvus suits of [[Power Armor]]. While his position as a Sergeant allowed him to wield the traditional Power Bats and Power Wrenches of the Angry Marines; he opted to keep the weapon he found, dubbing it "Throatfucker". While some Angry Marines believe him to be a "TAINTFONDLING SHOWOFF WHO THINKS HE'S TOO FUCKING HARDCORE FOR A POWER BAT". For this reason, Sergeant Dickface's skill with Throatfucker has been proven time and again.



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Thought for the day: do not wonder, as curiosity invites disaster.

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