Editing Bound Fate (Warhammer High) (section)

===More Than Enough===
----


The car seemed empty, even to Chucho, even though the small group filled its confines almost to capacity the car felt empty. It wasn't a physical emptiness so much as an emotional emptiness, a vacancy of feeling as they all considered what was going to happen. Even though only one of them was on the chopping block not one of them liked to think about it. Even though they wouldn't hear or see what was coming, they knew it existed.

And that was more than enough. 

Callie lounged next to Violet and glanced at the girl, already formulating her recipe. ''She's on her adjutor, as much for the work as the distraction.'' Violet was ordering sweetened condensed milk, the incredibly rare key limes and, hardest of all, a combination of fats and oils she found almost perfectly imitated pre-Dark Age butter, cows having long gone extinct except in trader-borne rumors.

Chucho sat on the other side, eyes wide, engrossed by the sheer intensity Violet was pouring into her plans, her work. Callie glared angrily at Janus, sitting between Vin and Doug, chattering animatedly. ''He's the least afraid of all of us.'' Janus had the most experience with their benefactor, but his chatter was nervous talk, anything to fill the empty space. ''He's not as scared, but still scared.'' Her stare softened a bit.

As a group they'd made numerous mistakes, even in their short time with Doug.

''Every mistake but one, the mistake Doug made, and the mistake we were told not to make the most.'' Callie shuddered at the thought. Despite her rumors, and even the actual opportunities she'd had to do so, except for one night not too long ago, she'd never so much as talked to any of the Royal Daughters outside of Imperator High. Callie looked at Doug again, face unreadable to most anyone outside this vehicle, and even as sympathy flooded through her she calculated.

The indoctrination took hold and pushed aside the empathy. Callie's mind churned with all the ways she could turn this to her advantage.

''If Doug's released from the group he'll need a place to stay, companionship, purpose. If he's ordered into stopping the relationship, he'll be devastated, vulnerable.'' Callie wondered if he knew that, if he knew how much the relationship really meant to him. ''He probably doesn't, he's blind to it, ignoring his own feelings again. Idiot.''

The thought barely entered Callie's head to talk to him about this; instead it was filed away, another tidbit, another nugget of intelligence ready to be twisted to her advantage. She continued to think, minor variations on his punishment, his reaction, on her response to both. She let the indoctrination fight away the emptiness, aware that, in nearly every situation, his misfortune was turned to her advantage. ''I'll comfort him. Support him.''

But that comfort, that support was made hollow by the fact that it gratified her physically and emotionally. The reality that it satisfied the indoctrination, the tenets of her mission and mode of operation. Callie felt bad about it, somewhere inside. But the indoctrination took that away, replacing it again with cold satisfaction. The fulfillment of achievement, of a strategic framework followed to the letter, of tactical parameters successfully executed. The indoctrination forced a cool smirk onto her face. Callie felt a familiar empty pang, buried below it all, but made sensitive by repetition.

''A cut that never closes.'' Callie could see something in Doug, something that could help that pang. She could sense it in Vin, something that could fill the void. Callie felt it in Julius as well. ''Like he can see through the indoctrination, that he understands somehow. That he could help.'' She often talked to him, and she was sure not even Isis was aware of how much those conversations, the subtext and undertone, meant to her.

Callie looked at Janus, through her peripheral vision, and yearned for him to be able to fill that vacuum. ''But he can't, he can't get past the indoctrination, the mission.'' Janus' requirements were known, his importance, his use, signed, sealed and filed away. She already had him, could get him to do whatever she wanted. Janus was useless to her precisely because he was so useful already. Because doing so wouldn't accomplish the mission any more than it already did, and so the indoctrination refused to give him any more consideration, refused to let him through.

Callie barely stopped the tears from coming. In truth, more than any of the others, more even than Chucho, she felt lonely. She'd had planned her initial foray into high school perfectly. In the first two weeks she'd slept with four different boys, one in each grade, and a single pair of girls. It had seemed daunting at the time, and the indoctrination did most of the work at first. But Callie laughed at how easy it was after the fact, at how predictable people are. ''Doug was right, again.''

Callie's reputation spread like wildfire and while her initial marks were good-looking enough and confident, they didn't quite have what she was hoping for. ''Maybe I was spoiled by Doug, my first taste of real dating.'' She'd found herself disappointed with these experiences. Soon the suitors were coming out of the walls, and she picked out a few who seemed promising, maybe even long-term. And as Callie talked to them, each and every one, she came to a horrible realization.

''I didn't have to sleep with them.'' She'd predicated her entire strategy around using sex as her primary weapon and the initial salvo had worked well, too well. Rumors Callie started about herself were instantly, easily accepted. Boys and a some girls were willing to bend over backward for someone of her reputed skills. She didn't have to sleep with them anymore, any of them. Whispered words and careful gestures accomplished as much as it was possible to accomplish. Callie could get any information she wanted, spread any lie she needed. She knew absolutely everything about the Royal Daughters, about the social power players, about the fringe groups and loners. But she couldn't put the effort into establishing a relationship with anyone, even just for sex. It was inefficient, time better spent somewhere else, currying favor and subtly manipulating the tides of peer pressure. Callie's carefully planned social life had accelerated all too quickly, and the incredible emotional jerk had thrown her into a depression. The only people she could establish a real relationship with were in this car.

''And for awhile it was enough.'' Unfortunately, the implants, augments and indoctrination hadn't enhanced only her body, physiology and mind. They'd also enhanced her libido. Ev would do anything for her already, they'd been part of the same Schola batch. He and Callie made it through so many travails since they were six years old that they were as true siblings as could be found anywhere. ''Janus is head over heels for me already, but that's the problem.''

That left Chucho, who saw them as family, as everything, already. He'd grown up in an area that was horrifically overpopulated, and his status as a Pariah, or as they said to avoid hurting his feelings, a 'Blank,' had made him reviled. They'd all been uneasy around him until Doug showed them how to endure his presence, that he was still a person. The change was immediate, and so noticeable for how subtle it was. Chucho threw himself into training, testing, anything and everything to keep up. He was the least experienced of the indoctrinated, but he was right in line with them because they were the best thing he had ever known. Friends, family and society all rolled into one tightly-knitted bundle.

''Then there's Vin. I pushed hard on him, and it was working, too.'' But something Callie hadn't even remotely expected turned up. Vin was a deeply philosophical young man, prone to long and deep internal debates on weighty matters of law, justice, equality, socioeconomic class structure and more. He firmly believed in the sanctity of life, it was part of what made him such a precise killer and a capable protector. But he held many more deeply seated beliefs. Almost like some Catherics who believed in waiting for 'the one'. And Vin thought, like Doug, Callie was too driven by her indoctrination.

''He's right. That's why I pushed so hard, because he understands me. He'd be gentle and strong and perfect.'' 

But since school started Vin had been getting more and more into debates with an Eldar woman, Terel'da, far older and wiser than her looks would make her seem. Callie had been there a few times. ''And walked out with a free coffee and bag of donuts after ONE talk with the cute guy behind the counter. Bastard.''

What Callie had seen in there disturbed her. Despite the apparent awkwardness of the conversation, Vin and the woman had connected deeply. Terel'da was a psyker, not powerful, but enough to read emotions, to break the barrier that Vin's indoctrinated language imposed on him. She was deeply impressed by the young man, and though Vin was probably not aware of it, was starting to develop the same feelings he had for her. So he was off the table.





''And that leaves Doug again.'' Callie remembered her time with Doug fondly. ''Maybe the happiest time of my life.'' It had seemed all too short compared to how long she'd been in training, getting indoctrinated. She'd done something wrong, and she knew what it was, remembered the argument they'd repeated so many times.

:''“It's my indoctrination Doug, I can't help it.”''

But Doug disagreed, pointing out Vin. He explained that the nature of her indoctrination didn't have to determine what she did with it.

:''"That you are a killer doesn't mean you can't pick who to kill, Callie. You should approach the rest of your ''  
:''indoctrination the same way."''

Callie had tried several times, but never got the rush she'd come to crave from Doug. The rush that replaced all the relationships and emotions she wasn't getting. They just couldn't come to an agreement on it. She'd felt him slowly budging, giving way, despite his claims that she was too forced into it.

''And then, suddenly, Furia.'' Callie thought back to the days they were together, after Doug helped her off the polymorphine. They'd done things, wonderful things, normal things that she still thought about today. Just talking and eating and living. ''But never went all the way.''

Callie still regretted, despite everything, even the indoctrination, that her first had been some may-as-well-have-been-random drunk senior at a noble house party. She wanted more than that, even now. She'd thrown herself into the cons, every chance she got with Violet, Vin or Doug. It was a physical release, one that Callie had come to depend on. But more and more Vin and Violet had been going separate ways. Vin towards more deep thinking, closer and closer to Terel'da.

''And chiseled brooding. God, I can't even help myself now.'' Violet had finally seemed to start opening herself up emotionally, not hiding behind the facade that kept her core self safe and locked away. She'd been drifting, maybe towards Ev, it was hard to tell. ''I saw it in Doug's eyes, knew why it was working. The more time we spent together the closer we got.'' Every time they pulled the YPF con together, more of the hormones and signal receptors built in his brain, chipping away at his reluctance and moral stupidity. Every time Doug seemed to let himself enjoy it a little more.

''I should've known something was wrong.'' Callie thought back to Sunday. It'd been a stressful week, her part of the reconnaissance hadn't gone smoothly or easily, so she was stressed. She pushed herself on him as hard as she could without compromising the mission. ''And it was so good.'' She couldn't help but shudder now, thinking about it. ''I should've known then.'' At first she thought Doug was teasing, playing with her, that he was finally on the verge of giving way.

''He was always good at that.'' But he didn't swing back, he pushed a little farther away. Callie had to run into the bathroom monday to stop the tears. ''One little glance.'' Callie had seen one look, one brief half-second glance pass between the two of them. Between Doug and Furia, and knew, and off she went to the bathroom, indoctrinated smirk on her face while she cried. ''I miss you, Doug.''

So Callie followed him home, hoping that the attack by Furia was a sign. ''It was a bluff.'' She'd heard the whole conversation, even almost let Doug see her, see the need and loneliness in her eyes. She thought back again, remembering that night. She'd listened the whole time, it seemed like an eternity.

''It sounded so good. They sounded so close, so loving, even though they barely know each other. Just talking and being together.'' Callie had barely made it out of there before the crazy old woman next door noticed something was happening outside.

Somehow Furia had cut right through Doug, right to his core. Looking back Callie could remember the look in his eyes sunday. She thought he was thinking about how to deal with her, about whether he had to worry about an Appraisal over the situation. Somehow, each day he'd withdrawn a little more. The con last week, that Wednesday, had been a really good night. ''He had so much energy, so much passion.''

''But it was all for her.'' Callie was perfectly willing to be a substitute, but Doug would never have that. That was why she admired him. ''And here we are, Doug's commission of the first, most basic mistake we were warned against.''

''Never get involved with a Royal Daughter.''

Even Callie's many interactions were almost entirely limited to basic gossip and information gathering. ''Please don't take him away. Please, just tell him that he can't see her anymore.'' She hoped, hoped that was what would happen. She didn't know what she'd do if Doug had to go. She'd lose all hope. ''I'll trade it all back, the training, the purpose, the freedom, everything. Just let me have Doug.''

''Let me have someone.''