Editing Marcius Flavius (section)

==Science==



"Explain again your position on this vessel Brother," boomed Commander Marcius Flavius.

Swenson rubbed his eyes and sighed.

"For the third time Commander, I am the ships Science Officer. I am head of the Science Department and when required I advise the command staff on matters of a technical and or scientific nature by drawing on the expertise of my staff and Federation records," Swenson said.

"Does not Battle-Brother Data perform your function?" Flavius asked.

"He used to, but he's now Operations Officer, but Picard is such a raging queen that, oh never mind. Why are you even here again?" Swenson said, clearly annoyed.

"Brother-Captain Picard has sent me here to learn the ways of your Federation. I obey," Flavius said.

"The ways of our Federation? Like not blowing the shit out of everything you see? Yeah, that's called learning. You might want to look into it." Swenson said turning to a nearby console and entering data.

Flavius waited patiently. His time with Swenson had been commanded by Picard himself and he would do his duty as a loyal officer. Though during crises of faith he sometimes questioned the wisdom of the entire officer-exchange program. Such heretical thoughts were quickly abandoned as the many screens covering the walls of Brother Swenson's office lit up with maps, charts, diagrams, menus and text.

"This is the Romulan Empire. One hundred, sixty eight point one teraquads of information," Swenson said. "Everything we have ever learned about them. History, biology, sociology, economics, technology, philosophy, tactics, evolution, politics, cartography and cuisine."

"Right now you are looking at the top billionth of one billionth of one percent of everything we know about the Romulans." Swenson said. "You want to know anything about the Romulans that doesn't require a crystal ball? Me and my experts can deliver it to you in an accurate, succinct, and bulleted list suitable for your presentation software of choice."

Flavius made no response, his head slowly scanning across the dozens of screens, pausing a moment at each one to absorb its contents.

"Do you understand what I do now Commander Flavius?" Swenson asked, irritated at the silence.

Flavius said nothing, continuing his survey of the information present. When completed he took a moment before turning to Swenson.

"I begin to. Tell me more of this Science and the ways of your Federation," Flavius said.

***

"Warp signature detected, unknown race and class."

Captain Picard turned to Data, but before he could issue an order the booming voice of Commander Marcius Flavius filled the bridge.

"We must open a hailing frequency!"

Had the bridge of the Enterprise not been carpeted you could have heard a pin drop. The faint sound of jaws dropping could be faintly heard as the bridge crew turned to the exchange officer from the Imperium in astonishment.

"Please expand on that if you will Commander Flavius," Picard asked, who alone with Data was not staring goggle-eyed and slack-jawed at the armor-clad Space Marine.

"By opening a hailing frequency we will learn their ways and gain tactical advantage," Flavius said. "We will take what we learn and use Science to better understand our foe so we may crush them when they realize that their foul xeno trickery has failed and inevitably attack us. Such is the way of the Federation."

"Essentially correct Commander Flavius," said Data. "Shall I open a hailing frequency Captain?"

Picard glared at his android officer.

"Have I erred?" Data asked.

Picard took a moment to collect himself, staring daggers at his innocent looking Operations Officer and the beaming (could you beam under power-armor?) exchange officer.

"We will discuss tact later Mr. Data, but by all means hail them," Picard said.

***

As he heard the door to his office *shwish* open, Science Officer Swenson tensed.

"Magos Swenson! I beg your indulgence and in the name of the Emperor, the Federation and Brother-Captain Picard I beseech you to reveal the mysteries of Science so that I might better destroy the enemies of Mankind," Commander Marcius Flavius boomed.

"Flavius," Swenson said. "For the third time I am not a Magos. I am a Commander. Nor have I ever been a Tech-Priest like Commander LaForge. He is head of Engineering, which while related to science is not part of the Science Department. And science is... well it involves mysteries but it is not mysterious. Come in."

Flavius entered, perching his oversized armor on one of the two spindly chairs before Swenson's desk. Being the third time he had done so he no longer proclaimed it a miracle when it did not collapse under his weight.

"Brother Flavius I address you as such because I know what that means and I want to emphasize I am not a Magos," Swenson said. "I don't know what you are doing on the bridge but command is eating it up. I might even get a positive enough review that I can get off this boat and a research posting, so let's continue where we left off yesterday."

"I am an empty vessel Magos! Fill me with your wisdom!" Flavius said.

"No, because you expressed doubt about heresy yesterday," Swenson said. "What is heresy?"

"Heresy is turning from the Path of the Emperor!" Flavius shouted. It was deafening in the office and those passing through the science deck paused at the unnatural noise vibrating through the hallway.

"Yes, and we mentioned the volume thing," Swenson said making a mental note to check with Dr. Crusher for hearing loss. "Now in science we seek information so that we may find truth. Laws technically, but I'm not going to get into that, so truth. Can one turn from the Path of the Emperor and still follow truth?"

Flavius stood shock still while Swenson waited. And waited. Minutes passed.

"No," Flavius spoke, his voice for once no longer at deafening volume. "It is a question worthy of a Magos. There is no truth without the Emperor. There are only lies. Cunning lies. Subtle lies. Tempting lies. But they are all lies and they lead to heresy. There can be no heresy in truth."

"Congratulations Commander Flavius, you begin to understand science," Swenson said. "Hypothesis, experiment, peer review, skepticism. These are the tools we use to separate truth from heresy, or as we in the Federation call it... well we call it a lot of things so heresy works. Now, let's do some basic logic exercises with Newtonian physics."

***

My writefaggotry seems to have been well received so here's another effort.

"Magos Swenson," Commander Marcius Flavius intoned. "I understand your Federation Science."

Science Officer Swenson turned from the screen where he had been explaining Mendelian inheritance to look at the armor-clad Space Marine, an exchange officer from the Imperium to Starfleet.

"Brother Flavius, you have made great progress during these sessions," Swenson said "But as I explained to you earlier, science is not a thing you master, it is a tool used to understand the universe."

There was a pause and then Flavius, his voice slightly softer in this room after frequent admonitions, continued.

"I apologize Magos. Though you tell me differently I know that I will never comprehend more than the merest fraction of your wisdom," Flavius said. "I only tell you that at last I believe I understand the methods of the Federation Science."

Swenson hesitated, despite the all-consuming powered armor of his pupil he was almost sure that he was picking up an emotion. A quivering eagerness?

"Explain," Swenson asked.

"Tactics Magos!" Flavius boomed, his volume rising with his posture as he stood up. "Strategy!"

"One observes the disposition of enemy forces and in so doing you learn the mind of their commander," Flavius boomed. "The despicable Eldar flee from strength and seek weakness! So too does matter expand when heated and contract when cooled! The Federation Science is combat on a scale grander than anything I ever understood before. You seek to understand how the universe itself opposes you and therefore defeat it!"

"Uhhhh, yeah that is one way of putting it," Swenson ventured.

"THANK YOU MAGOS!" Flavius boomed, his voice reverberating on nearby decks, drawing puzzled glances from passing crewmembers. "YOUR GIFT OF SCIENCE WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN! AND WITH IT THE SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR WILL DEFEAT NOT ONLY OUR ENEMIES BUT THE UNIVERSE ITSELF!"