Editing Angry Marines (section)

==Master of the Armoury, Enginseer Mightilypissedoff the third==


The latest addition to the Angry Marines command structure/brawl which makes decisions based on who’s left standing, Mightilypissedoff the third represents a step forward for the chapter as he is actually TRAINED for his job, as opposed to everyone else who simply out survived or out punched their competitors. Starting life as a boy by the name of Yarrick Smith the third from a family of comfortable standing in one of the many hive cities on Armageddon. His family's standing (Yarrick being an incredibly popular name on Armageddon being “da greatest humie eva!”) and Armageddon’s large levels of industry and mechanisation gave Yarrick the resources to pursue his hobby of engineering, with his father commissioning a shed to be built for him, which he filled to the brim with broken machines (broken servitors, vacuum cleaners, one of Vance Motherfucking Stubbs lost Baneblades, just general stuff). Yarrick even showed so much promise that he was head hunted by the Adeptus Mechanicus who started teaching him about the ways of the omnisiah (with the aim of eventually initiating him into the mechanicus), teachings which Yarrick excelled at to the point that he would be commissioned to repair complicated machinery.

This happy existence continued for several years, right up until he reached the ripe old age of 11, when his hive was given a visit, by the Angry Marines who had gotten bored and had decided that they wanted a vacation killing orks (something which Armageddon has absolutely no shortage of). While other chapters might coordinate their arrival with the local planetary governor (or in thus case, commissar Yarrick) and bring their Marines down to the planet in an organised manner, the Angry Marines are far too impatient for such nonsense and just fired themselves down in drop pods and rhinos randomly towards the planet. One such Angry Rhino was fated however, to impact with the workshop/shed of Yarrick Smith while Yarrick was inside said shed. The resulting explosion blew Yarrick free of the wreckage and left him only with minor burns, but managed to destroy his family home (along with his family) and (more importantly) his workshop filled with his tools of the omnisiah.

“FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!” Someone shouted from the wreckage “I FUCKING TOLD YOU TO AIM FOR THE FUCKING JUNGLE YOU PRICK, HOW CAN YOU MISS A CUNTING CONTINENT SIZED JUNGLE?!!!” This was followed by the sound of someone being hit over the head by a very large wrench (Yarrick was very good at recognising these things). “NEXT TIME YOU CAN FUCKING DRIVE YOU OMNISIAH CUNT, YOU TRY AIMING ONE OF THESE THINGS!!!” Shouted another, which was followed by a deep growl which Yarrick recognised as the whisperings of a machine spirit, the angriest he’d ever heard. After a few more moments the roar of an engine started and a red and yellow rhino slowly dragged itself from the wreckage, mounted by two Angry Marines fighting each other. Thankfully for histories sake, the driver of the rhino stopped his vehicle before it turned the shocked Yarrick into paste, a stop which dislodged the two fighting Marines off the tank to land at his feet, upon which they stopped fighting, stood up and glared at Yarrick as if this was all his fault. “OI KID!!!” Bellowed the one with the huge wrench “WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING LOOKING AT? HAVE YOU NEVER SEEK A FUCKING ANGRY MARINE BEFORE?!!!” This broke Yarrick out of his trance, what was the marine doing shouting at him? This man had just destroyed his shed, destroyed his life’s work, his gifts from the omnisiah, and he had the balls to swear and curse at HIM. All of a sudden, Yarrick was filled with a righteous fury and before he knew it he was pelting the marine with scattered wrenches and chunks of metal while screaming a stream of profanity which just melted into one long cry of “FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!”

After the two marines finally managed to pin Yarrick to the ground (after he had managed to dismantle a large chunk of their power armour) with some help from the ten other marines inside the rhino, the driver and the rhino itself, the first marine (which Yarrick later learned to be an Angry Tech Priest) asked “WHAT’S YOUR NAME YOU FUCKING ANKLE BITER?!!! DAMN I THINK HE BROKE MY FUCKING ARM!!!” After a bit more swearing Yarrick responded “Yarrick Smith the third YOU FUCKING CUNT LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY FUCKING SHED YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!” “NOT ANOTHER FUCKING YARRICK!!!” bellowed the tech priest “YOU LOOK MORE MIGHTILYPISSEDOFF TO ME!!!” Which drew a round of laughter (if somewhat pained due to the assorted collection of broken bones). “YOU ARE NOW MIGHTILY PISSED OFF THE THIRD YOU PRICK, AND YOUR FUCKING COMING WITH US!!!”

And thus, Yarrick Smith became Mightilypissedoff the third, and after being dragged kicking and screaming off Armageddon passed through all the Angry Marines rites and became an Angry Tech priest, powering himself along with his eternal loathing for his kidnappers/adopted family. Life after that was fairly quiet for pissed off for the next millennia or so, spending most of his time taming the Angry Marines more violent vehicles (something which he had an innate talent for) and fighting in the few hundred conflicts the chapter finds itself in at any given time. His chance to seek revenge against the Angry Marines, when the Master of the Armoury Enfurious Ragman announced that “WE’LL BE HAVING A FUCKING “CULTURAL EXCHANGE” WITH THE FUCKING TOASTER SHAGGERS, AND I NEED ONE OF YOU PRICKS TO GO TO FUCKING MARS!!!” Luckily and entirely coincidentally, all the other Angry Tech Priests were simultaneously hospitalised due to “BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA TO THE BALLS WITH A FUCKING WRENCH!!!” And thus, Mightilypissedoff was the only person available to go to Mars.

Upon arriving on Mars, Mightilypissedoff was treated like a lost son who had finally returned to the fold, and for another happy millennia or so he was taught everything he did not yet now about the ways of the omnisiah, slowly (fast by mechanicium standards as his competitors would be found dead due to “BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA TO THE BALLS!!!” making his way up through the ranks until finally becoming the head of a titan manufactorum and earning the title of enginseer. It was however, realised by the council of mars that pissedoff was too Angry a person to truest become one of their own, despite his immense skill, a flaw which they blamed on the Angry Marines, a crime which they added to the chapters very long list of offences. But the mechanicium could not just simply get rid of pissedoff, it was not his fault he was corrupted and he was still equally talented if not more so than mar’s greatest priests.

The chance for revenge came with the new of the death of the Angry Marines Master of the Armoury, creating an opening in their command structure. This was a golden opportunity for the mechanicium, an opportunity which Mightilypissedoff the third was perfectly placed to exploit, being both an Angry Marine and a child of the omnisiah, and so he was brought before the council of mars who explained their plans to him, to which pissed off replied “WHERE DO I FUCKING SIGN?!!!”

So after a millennia or so away, Mightilypissedoff the third returned to the Angry Marines with a single task, either bring the chapter to heel, or destroy them, but how could they be sure that Mightilypissedoff would get the job? Because he's angrier than even the rank and file Angry Marine (let alone an Angry Tech Priest), a being who utterly despises the Angry Marines for what they have done so much, that the Angry Marines would take one look at him now and say "CALM YOUR BALLS YOU WALKING TOASTER, YOU CAN HAVE THE FUCKING JOB!!! IT'S NOT AS IF ANY OF US CUNT WEASELS WANTED IT ANYWAY!!!" And just like that, Mightilypissedoff was the Master of the Armoury. But as pissedoff took up his new role he started to wonder whether he had been truly happy/ANGRY on mars, there you had to pray for 20 minutes just to open a vent on an air con unit, and had he really hated and despised the Angry Marines to the point that he wanted to destroy them, he’d had more freedom and fights with the Angry Marines than he could have had over the course of hundreds of millennia with the mechanicium.

And so, instead of destroying the Angry Marines, Master of the Armoury Mightilypissedoff the third embraces/head locked them, and has been happy/ANGRY EVER SINCE. He now spends most of his time on the battlefield "FUCKING SMASHING ANY CUNT WHO OFFENDS THE OMNISIAH!!! THAT COCKSUCKING LEMAN RUSS JUST LOOKED AT ME FUNNY, YOUR NEXT DIPSHIT, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!", so much time in fact that the Angry Tech priests are wondering if they should promote one of their own to the rank of Master of the Armoury (those who suggest that die mysteriously from BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA TO THE BALLS VIA A HUGE FUCKOFF WRENCH SMASHING THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!) Mars is somewhat surprised by the turn of events, and are so exasperated that the Angry Marines heretical actions are to be officially ignored until they do something really stupid, like filling a titan full of honey badgers and blowing it up for shits and giggles.


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