Editing Discworld (section)

===The Seamstresses' Guild=== 
'"'Nil Volvpti Sine Lvcre"'' ("No Pleasure Without Pay") 

A guild of women practicing the second oldest profession. (In Ankh-Morpork, the first profession is implied to have been theft.) A paying patron can enjoy a comfortable night in the arms of one (or more, if they have the funds) of the guild members with a guarantee of not being robbed blind and dumped in an alley in the Shades. Swift, brutal retribution is dealt out to any who skip the bill or mistreat the girls. Additional Guild activities include overseeing the distribution of pornographic material and protecting the legal rights of one Mr. Harris, the proprietor of the Blue Cat Club. It can be pieced together through information available in the books themselves and some of the companion guides that the Guild of Ecdysiasts, Nautchers, Cancanieres and Exponents of Exotic Dance were not willing to admit a gay establishment to their ranks, but the Seamstresses, after some debate, were, on the grounds that money is money, no matter the sexuality of the hands it passes through, and that "unnatural acts are only natural".

The Guild does house one actual seamstress, who seems to have wholly misunderstood the euphemism. She provides quality service for men who, making a similar error, bring hole-riddled socks and other garments that require mending to the brothel.

Although their profession is quite old, the Guild itself only organized officially under Lord Vetinari. Unlike with the Thieves' Guild, which was given guild status as a way to reduce disorganized, hard-to-control crimes and as a quiet replacement to the near universally defrauded Ankh-Morpork tax system, the Seamstresses' Guild had to lobby for recognition for years, finally succeeding when Mad Lord Snapcase was deposed shortly after the beginning of the series. Lord Vetinari was selected as the new Patrician, with no possibility of anyone suspecting that he might have had a hand in, say, the events of the Glorious 25th of May or the deaths of his predecessors. He promptly renamed the Whore Pits to the Street of Negotiable Affection and chartered the Seamstresses' Guild, a move that none but a very small circle would recognize as the completion of thirty years of political planning. While the day-to-day operation and internal structure is more like a trade union than a traditional guild, the Seamstresses still hold significant political sway in the city.