Editing Eternity (Warhammer High) (section)

=== Jake Can Come Off As Strange ===


Lisa looked out the front door of her boyfriend’s house in dismay.  The darkness was total; even the lights of the city were invisible.  Driving sheets of rain were tearing across the sky, so strong that the branches of trees were whipping around.

She sighed to herself.  “I just had to walk over.  Three blocks…damn.”  She raised a hand to block the wind and stepped forward.

“Where are you going at three in the morning?” a voice asked from behind her.

She jerked around, her heart rate spiking.  Prince Jacob was leaning against the frame of the antechamber’s door, staring at her a bit blearily.  “In this weather, too,” he said.

Lisa stammered.  “J-just walking home, your Majesty.”

Jake shook his head.  “Don’t be absurd, that weather could kill you.  Terran rain can turn acidic from the water coming off the hive skins.  Just stay here tonight,” he said, straightening up.

The blonde teenager nervously shook her head.  “Thank you, your Majesty, but I couldn’t trouble you to set up a guest room at this time of night,” Lisa said.

“Who said anything about a guest bed?” Jake yawned.

Lisa’s jaw dropped.  She stared, shocked.  “W-what?”

Jake yawned again as he walked away.  “I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

Upstairs, N’bel, Jake’s older son, crossed his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling, completely at peace with life.  She had been a bit nervous, and he couldn’t blame her, but Lisa had returned his affections.  They had made love for the first time, and it had been everything he had hoped for.

Abruptly, his door swung open, shaking him out of his post-coital reverie.  Lisa staggered in, looking exhausted.  N’bel sat up.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked.  Hadn’t she been about to go home?

“Kill me now,” she groaned, sinking facefirst onto the mattress.  “Go get that ceremonial knife off the wall over there and ram it straight into my heart,” she said into the covers.

“What the hell are you on about?” N’bel asked.  “Are you all right?”

“Your dad stopped me from leaving and said I should just stay the night,” Lisa mumbled.  “Ffffffuuuuck…”

N’bel’s brilliantly glowing eyes widened.  “What?”

“And…when I said he shouldn’t bother to set up a guest bed, he said ‘I didn’t mention a guest bed,’” she finished, gripping her head.

N’bel sank back into the pillow, staring blankly.  “…Shit.”  His mind raced, trying to think of a way out of their predicament, and couldn’t find one.  “Well…I guess we’ll just have to see how this goes,” he said, pulling the sheets back for her.

The next morning, Lisa crept down the stairs of the house, wondering if she could get away clean.

Not to be, it seemed.  Jake poked his head out of the kitchen as she walked by on tiptoes.  “Good morning,” he said.  “Have you had breakfast?” he asked.

Lisa nearly jumped out of her skin.  “Uh, uh…your, uh…your Majesty, I’m fine, thanks,” she said, inching towards the door.

“Not what I asked,” Jake said mildly.  “Come on in.”

She couldn’t see a way out of her impending doom, no matter how hard she tried, so with the airs and dignity of a condemned prisoner, she trooped into the kitchen, where Jake was already making a few omelets.  Clearly he had been waiting for her to make her escape.

She sat at the counter, nervously glancing around.  “Is…is Princess Venus here too?” she asked, just to delay her demise.

“She had to leave early.  She says hi,” Jake said, flipping one sizzling circle of mixed egg.

Lisa looked down at her plate.  “…I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

Jake looked up at her from the food.  “For what?”

“For…I mean…under your roof, and…” Lisa trailed off, flushing red.  “Sorry.”

Jake shook his head.  “You did nothing to be ashamed of.  Do you know what N’bel is like when you’re not around?” he asked.  He snorted.  “Stupid question.  Never mind.  I’ll help: distracted, at best.”  He smiled slyly as she looked up in surprise.  “I think he really loves you, Lisa.”  He raised his voice.  “And he’s really bad at staying quiet!”

N’bel appeared at the door, eyes drawn and dimmed.  “Uh, morning, Dad,” he said.  “You, uh…heard me come down the stairs, did you?”

“Clear as a rifle report,” Jake said.  “Sit down.  Eat.”

N’bel slid into the seat beside his girlfriend, looking up at his father behind the counter.  “So…you’re not gonna kill us, right?” he asked, to make sure.
Jake waved one hand.  “Why would I do that?  I remember being your age,” he said.

N’bel stared.  “…What?”

“What?  You’re both responsible kids,” Jake said, dropping a few slices of cheese into the cooking eggs.  “I’m glad you two are happy.”

Lisa flushed bright red.  “And…you’re not mad?  At all?”

“Lisa, I actually like you,” Jake said drily.  “My son’s in good hands.”

Lisa managed to blush even brighter, staring down at the empty plate in front of her.  “…Thanks, your Majesty.”

“That’s gonna have to stop, though,” Jake said.

“We won’t do it again,” she said sadly.

“What?  No, I mean calling me ‘your Majesty’ in my own house like that,” Jake said.  “Look at me, I’m in a bathrobe, cooking eggs.  Nothing Majestic here,” he said.  He pushed the eggs out of the pan and onto her plate.  “Here.”

“Uh, thanks,” she said.  “I’m sorry if we…you know, bothered you last night.”

Jake chuckled.  “You didn’t.  I just wish N’bel had thought to close his door,” he said with mock weariness.

N’bel’s eyes flickered in sudden nerves.  “Wait, you…oh fuck, you didn’t…”

“Yeah, I didn’t really want a play-by-play,” Jake said.

N’bel’s head sank into his hands.  “Ugh…” he mumbled.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Jake said, putting his hands up.  “Seriously.  I’m happy for you two.”

“Am I missing something?” N’bel said, looking up through his fingers.  “I expected you to flip a shit, here.”

“Why?” Jake asked reasonably, starting his own breakfast.  “You think I wouldn’t remember when I was sixteen?  Shit, I wish my dad had taken it as well,” he said.  “First thing I did when I came home the next morning was yell at me.”

N’bel stared.  “Grandpa George yelled at you?”

“Sure did.  And then, he did it after my first night with my second girlfriend too,” Jake said.  “He was just overprotective, though, I don’t blame him.”  He smiled at his son’s look of total astonishment.  “After you’re done, go do me a favor, though, huh?  I heard something land on the roof in the storm.  Go make sure whatever it was didn’t puncture the seal, all right?”

“Uh, yeah…sure,” N’bel said, digging into his eggs.

After he finished and made his escape, Lisa sat in her own seat, her food all but untouched.  Jake looked at her over the counter, gauging her nervousness.  “Lisa, are you all right?”

“Yes, sir,” she muttered.

Jake sighed.  “Lisa, come on.  Why are you so embarrassed?  Did he hurt you or something?”

Her head shot up.  “No!  No, he didn’t…I mean, I’m just…you’re his dad!” Lisa said.

“Yes, I am.”  Jake looked over at her, trying not to intimidate her with his eyes.  “Listen, sweetheart, you make my son very happy.  As far as I’m concerned, this is a good thing.  All right?  Don’t be embarrassed.”

“I just…I didn’t even ask to come over, he just said we should come over after the party, and then…” she mumbled.

“Is that it?  Lisa, my son’s never happier than he is when you’re around,” Jake said gently.  “What kind of father would I be if I didn’t want that?  My door is always open to you.”

She looked downward, flushing again.  “Great.”

He chuckled again, shaking his head.  “Frankly, I was wondering what took you two so long.  N’bel’s been proclaiming his undying love for you with a downright adorable level of eagerness for weeks,” he said drily.

Lisa glanced up, surprised.  “Really?”

“He’s such a romantic,” Jake laughed.  He looked into her eyes, all mock sternness.  “You don’t go breaking his heart, now, all right?”

“I won’t,” she promised.

“Good.”  He smiled.  “You want a ride home?” he asked.

“No, I should just walk,” Lisa said.  She looked down at her untouched food.  “Um, can I finish first?”

“Sure thing,” Jake said, sliding his own dishes into the dishwasher.  “And please, for his sake, don’t hold my weirdness against him, all right?  I’d never forgive myself.”

She bit her lip to hold back a giggle.  “Sure thing, sir.”

“Superb.  See you around,” he said, walking out of the kitchen.

N’bel was walking in the door as Jake reached it.  “There’s nothing on the roof at all,” he accused.

“Wow, you saw through my transparent attempt at causing a diversion,” Jake deadpanned.

“What did you talk about?” his son demanded.

Jake put his hands up.  “Easy, son, I don’t deserve that tone,” he said.

N’bel fumed.  Jake nearly laughed at his son’s simmering frustration.  “All right.  You kids have fun.  I need to descend into the cave to continue my labors,” he sighed, walking down to his office in the basement.

N’bel glared at his father’s back until he was out of sight.  “Asshole,” he muttered.

Lisa picked at her eggs as N’bel sat down beside her.  “I thought he was gonna be mad,” Lisa said, her nerves settling down.

N’bel sighed.  “Me too.”

“You think he was being an asshole?” Lisa asked.

“A little,” he admitted.

Lisa managed a smile as she ate.  “I think your Dad’s pretty cool, actually.  He was really nice.  Said I was always welcome here.”

“He did, didn’t he,” N’bel muttered.  He looked over at his girlfriend.  “Are you going to be all right?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Lisa said.  “Well…I think my own parents are gonna be mad, though.”

“They’ll have to get over it,” N’bel said.  “That was way too much fun not to try again.”

Lisa smiled at him sidelong.  “It was.”

“Well, it’s a Saturday on a three-day weekend,” N’bel said casually.  “We have all day, if you want to go again.”

She giggled.  “Perhaps…but I need to be getting home.”

“All right.”  N’bel waited until she was done eating and stood up before rising as well.  “Hey…Lisa,” he said.  When she looked over to him, he slid his arms around her waist and chest, pulling her into a relaxed hug, and resting his head on her shoulder.  “Thanks, baby.  I love you,” he said softly.

“You too, N’bel,” she said, hugging him back.  “I’ll see you at school.”


After she had started off to her house, N’bel walked down to where is father was working in his corner of the basement studios.  “Hey, Dad, why did you do that?” he asked as soon as he was in range.

Jake looked over his shoulder.  “What?”

“Why did you confront her like that?” N’bel demanded.  “You scared the shit out of her.”

Jake glared.  “Watch it, N’bel.”

N’bel reined in his temper.  “I mean…you scared her, Dad.”

“I didn’t mean to, but I also talked to her last night, and I didn’t want her to come away with the impression that I disapproved of your relationship,” Jake said.  “I actually think she’s a nice girl.  And, you know, she was the one who brought it up.  All I did was ask if she wanted some breakfast.”

“Yeah, she is a nice girl, and can you kindly stay out of it when she’s over next?” N’bel asked coldly.

Jake rolled his eyes as he turned back around.  “Of course.  I just don’t think walking home through an acid storm is good for your health.”

“I mean…come on.  That was supposed to be her quiet escape,” N’bel said.

“Yeah, and I don’t want her feeling that she has to ‘escape,’” Jake said.  “She had no reason to hide what you did.  That’s all I was trying to say.  And again, all I did was offer her some food, she was the one who brought it up.  What did she say when I was walking away?”

“She said she thought you were being cool,” N’bel admitted.

“Yeah, I heard that part,” Jake said.  “Look,” he added over his shoulder.  “I can be your friend about this, or your father about this.  One wants to say he’s happy for you and hope you keep it up, and the other wants to know why you weren’t doing your homework instead, or whether she’s been tested.”

“She has, and can you not talk about this again?” N’bel asked.

“Absolutely.  I don’t intend to,” Jake promised.  “I would have been happy just making breakfast for her.  You do understand that she was the one who-”

“Yeah, yeah, I heard.  I think she was just a little scared of you and Mom, all right?” N’bel asked.

“Well, I don’t want her to be.  And, hey, son,” Jake said.  He looked over to where his son was standing.  “She really is welcome here.”

“Thanks, Dad.”  N’bel snorted, his anger fading away.  “Does this mean you’ll start treating me like an adult now?” he asked jokingly.

“I don’t ever want to hear you say that, not once, for the rest of your life,” Jake said coolly.

N’bel blinked.  “What?”

“Only the most extreme of assholes equate sex with adulthood,” Jake said.  “Does getting molested as a child make that child an adult?  Does someone who goes off to join the Astartes before they’re old enough to have sex refer to themselves as a boy?  No, they don’t.  Manhood is something you get when you find yourself looking forward to a responsibility.  I don’t care what it is,” he said, cutting his son off.  “It’s something you earn.  Marriage, fatherhood, invention, political appointment, military service, I don’t care.  It’s when you find yourself with that responsibility and find yourself actually looking forward to it that you’ve become a real adult.  Trust me.  I knew guys in college who jumped from bed to bed like they were full of hot coals and graduated as irresponsible manchildren, and one of my best friends in high schools took an abstinence pledge as a child and lived a mature and responsible adult life from the minute he joined the Army.  Loyalty and responsibility make you a man, not sticking your dick in something pretty.”

N’bel digested that.  “So...you don’t think I’ve earned it?” he asked.

“It doesn’t matter when I think you’ve earned it, because you find out for yourself,” Jake said.  “I have no input on it.  But I think you’re an intelligent and responsible sixteen year old, and I think you’ll acquit yourself well when the time comes, and it does me proud to see you in a loving relationship with a beautiful girl.”

N’bel nodded.  “Okay.”

“One thing I want to be clear on, as long as I have your attention,” Jake said.

“What?”

“If I ever even suspect that you and Lisa, or anyone else, are sexting, I’m going to cut your throat,” Jake said matter-of-factly.  “I mean it.  I even see a hint of the Royal Dong on the net, and you are a dead man.  And don’t go bragging to your younger brother, either.”

N’bel flinched.  “I wouldn’t.”

“You better not.”

“I wouldn’t!” he insisted.

“Good.”  Jake rose and walked over to where his son was standing.  “All right.  Are we cool?” he asked.

N’bel nodded.  “Yeah, now that I know you weren’t just being a cock-block,” he said.

Jake snorted.  “Try keeping up a relationship with a Primarch’s daughter in a hive hab block with half the Treasury breathing down your neck and then talk to me about cock-blocking,” he said.

N’bel shuddered.  “Can we not talk about that?  At all, ever?”

“Sure,” Jake said drily.  “Now…go do your damned homework,” he said, returning to his desk.