Editing Trip Into Hell (Warhammer High) (section)

===Time for the Truth===
Julius could barely keep up with Professor Ahriman as he powered his way towards the PDF command centre. He knew Ahriman was an Astartes, a warrior first and foremost, and he thought he understood what that was like after seeing him in action in the Petitioner’s City, but he had been proven wrong. In battle, Ahriman was an angel of death, barely human at all. The way he’d stood there before them all in front of the Mole, like he was mere milliseconds away from slaughtering them gave Julius the chills. He now saw the former Warp Studies teacher in an entirely new light.

He led them to the pyramid-like PDF Command Centre, and once inside he directed them to a large communal sleeping chamber with multiple bunk beds and an attached shower. “Wait here. I will see you all once I’ve spoken with the Liberation fleet, been appraised of the details. There are changes of clothes in the closet and a shower, so clean yourselves up.” His helmet lingered over Julius, who knew what it meant: tell them the truth. As if he needed another reason to feel guilty.

Julius listened to the sound of Ahriman’s boots crashing on the polished floor as he walked off, and then turned to face his fellows. Scvott looked disappointed, Dyllion had his trademark scowl, and Flynn looked sad. But Summer though, she looked hurt, and that hurt Julius most of all. He had wanted not to hurt her, and now that was inevitable.
“I think we should all get clean first, and then I will give you the truth.” He managed to say, and they nodded, though not at him.

He took first turn; the others would want to be alone for a while to discuss what they would do. He turned the knob stood under the downpour, letting the water wash over him like a baptismal. He only wished he could wash his soul clean as easily. At his feet the water was a muddy brown, he hadn’t realised how filthy he really was after so many weeks. The spare clothes were the grey and white of Administratum menials, but after weeks of nothing but that bodyglove, even these coarse and rough garments felt like bliss.

He left, and straightaway Scvott pushed past him to take his turn. Julius shuffled over to one of the beds, and heavily sat down on it, not looking at anyone. He stayed there as the others took their turns, not saying a single word. Finally with a muted cough, he turned to see the others all standing behind him dressed in the same garments he was in, their looks demanding answers. With the weeks of accumulated grime all washed off they looked normal again, Summer in particular looked positively radiant but for the hurt look in her hazel eyes.

Julius took a deep breath. This was it. No more lies, no more secrets. “The cat’s out of the bag. I’ve lied to you all since the very moment I first met you all. I didn’t know any of you then, but I do now, and I have hated myself for lying to you. Well that stops right here, right now. My name is not Oll, as you’ve no doubt guessed. It’s Julius. Julius Pius.”

He let it sink in, and Scvott was the first to respond. “Julius…Pius? Does that mean…”

“Yes.”

The effect was immediate. They all backed away from him, even Summer. Wearily he gestured to them. “Bloody hell, you’re better than that. I’m the same bloody person who fought with you these last thirty days. Nothing has changed. Nothing.”

They reversed their steps, but now they were treating him differently, like he was on a pedestal high above them. He had always known that this would be how they would treat him if they found out, and he hated that.

“That means you’re from Terra, you weren’t just visiting it.” Summer stated flatly.

“My birth certificate has me as a native of Calth, but I’ve lived on Terra since I was two. Until recently, I attended Imperator High there. That’s why I called Ahriman professor, he taught Warp Studies there. What I said about Terra before, all that is true. Terra is a paradox, on the one hand the symbol of the new Imperium, on the other a place of sharp divides between the haves and the have nots. And there are no seas, no forests, just different shades of black, grey and brown. Your planet is more beautiful by far, and I would rather live here than on Terra any day.”

"What the hell are you doing on Seadelant?"

“I spoke the truth before; I was on my way to Calth. Not because I live there, but because that’s where my mother lies. She died shortly after I arrived on Terra, and dad took her ashes back to Calth to be buried. I stayed with Lord and Lady Guilliman while he was gone.”
He almost regretted saying that when he saw the looks on their faces. He was brutally reminded how different his former life was to theirs. He had been brought up alongside the best and brightest, and had known all the Primarchs since he was small. No-one else could lay claim to that, yet here it was more of a curse than a blessing.

“So, the shooting on Terra, you weren’t just there, you were involved with it?” Flynn blurted out.

“Yes, to my eternal shame, yes. Surely you all know what happened to me, the news travelled fast from Terra. Lady Morticia, she’s like a sister to me, all of them are. I took her shooting hard. We all did. We all coped in different ways, some worse than others.” Rem. whenever he thought of the shooting and its casualties, it always came down to her. It was for her he had sought the answers that he hoped would soothe her wounded soul, answers that simply got him into even worse trouble and solved nothing. “I wanted answers, real ones, and so I took the direct approach and sought those answers myself. And thanks to that, I was nearly killed. We were nearly killed.”

He had finally addressed the Valuphant in the room, the thing which affected him, and by extension Summer, the most. Dyllion was the first to openly state it.

"You're really dating Isis Lupercal? Summer, I hate to say it but you are fucked."
She threw a withering glare at him, but Dyllion was right. Her father Horus was well known for his temper when his blood is up, and Julius knew very well she had inherited that. He had no idea how she would take what had happened to him, or if she would understand the strains and stresses which had led him to make that fateful decision, and the last thing he wanted was for anyone else to have to suffer for his mistakes, least of all Summer.
The others caught his expression, and Scvott cleared his throat. “We, um, we are going to leave you two in peace. You obviously need to discuss a few things. Come with me guys.” They hastily shuffled off and vanished into the shower, leaving Julius and Summer alone. She broke the silence first.

“The girlfriend you were talking about…that was Lady Lupercal?”

“Yes. What I said about her? That was the truth, every last word of it.” he held his head in his hands, took a deep breath. “Living with them, hell, dating one of them can be a bloody nightmare at times. I said I love her, and I do. But now I’ve come to love you as well, and I don’t know what to do about it. Hell, I’m a seventeen year old caught up in something beyond my control, and I feel so helpless.”

She came closer, and sat opposite him, but no closer. Finally the last thing left unaddressed, the biggest thing to her.

“You know Him. You’ve met Him. All this time, and you’ve never told me.” Her words hit him like bullets, stinging of mistrust and wariness. How could he earn that back? By telling the truth, no matter how harsh.

“Summer, how can I put this? How can I tell you about your God? He is the scariest figure I have ever met. He may well be a god, but He is a harsh and vengeful one when He wants to be. There is ruthless ambition and a molten core of violence at the Emperor’s heart, and if He wants something, nothing will stop Him from getting it. His chastisement for what I did in the Petitioner’s city was the worst experience that has ever happened to me, and that includes everything that has happened here. Fighting Orks is one thing, being verbally beaten down by the Emperor something else.” He couldn’t keep the hurt from his voice now, the feeling of utter powerlessness he had felt as the Emperor had pronounced judgement, feeling the awful finality of every word. “Honestly, I wish never to set eyes on Him again, to spend the rest of my life never having to see His fury. None of this is what you want to hear, but I trust you, more than I trust myself.”

He took a deep breath, hoping to curb the tide of bad feels coming from within him.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do when all this is over, my life is a mess. I thought I knew where my life was going to go, the path I had laid out for myself. Four years at the Imperial War Academy, followed by the Imperial Army. The Geno, or the Janizars, one of the Old Hundred regiments. My father was a common soldier, but he wanted me to be more. But I’ve seen the real face of battle, and I don’t know if I can handle it again. I’ve been thrust into this life prematurely. My best friend Andrew, Lady Khan’s boyfriend also has a Military career in mind but he wants to become a Warrant Officer, so not frontline. But for me, frontline is in the blood. Surely you know the saying, ‘to do a Pius’.”

She nodded. To do a Pius, army and navy slang for performing an insane feat of heroics, which either got you a medal, or got you killed. Back on Terra, he had been sick and tired of people pointing it out to him.

“But now I don’t know if I can go through with it. I want to live up to my father’s name, but can I face this again? Can I go out there, fight, kill and watch my men and my friends die around me? Can I face that?”

“Julius.” She said, wrapping her tongue round the unfamiliar name. “Two days ago, I told you that you are the bravest man I have ever met. That hasn’t changed. If anyone can overcome what we have experienced since the Sky ran red with foes, it is you. You joined the CDA to help us on this planet fight our foes. You could have fled with the rest of the offworlders, but you didn’t, you stayed and fought beside us. I can’t imagine anyone making a better officer and a leader than you. Don’t worry about what will happen to us after this war is over, it doesn’t matter who you’re dating. If she feels even half of what I feel for you, she will forgive you this one misstep. And don’t worry about me either, despite what you’ve said, the Emperor Protects, and he will protect me if his granddaughter decides to come after me. Being honest, I’m surprised you were able to keep to your vows while dating Lady Lupercal. From what I’ve seen, she’s incredibly attractive. She could make me bat for the other team.”
Julius could barely hide a smile at her words, and she came over, sat down beside him and wrapped her arms around him.

“It’s alright; you guys can come out now.” She called. The shower door opened and the others trooped out. Julius broke from Summer’s embrace, stood up and turned to face them.

“Look all of you. I’m the same bastard you beat at arm wrestling Dyllion, you taught how to strip a gearbox Flynn, you gave sage advice to after he recklessly risked his life Scvott. I didn’t tell you who I was so I could avoid all this, and I’m telling you now, don’t treat me any different because my father was some war hero and I happened to learn alongside the royal daughters.”

Julius opened his mouth to say more, but Summer cut in. “He’s not the only one with a secret. I’ve never told you who I am either. Lantsfalle. Summer Lantsfalle.”

Now it was her turn to be stared at in shock. Dyllion was the first one to speak. “You mean, the Lantsfalles who want to demolish half the city to install those Tsiolkovsky towers? Those rich bastards who have bled half the segmentum with their financial dickery and trade exploitation?” now they were staring at her with distaste. Julius reached over for her, but she shrugged him off and replied. “Yes, and they are bastards. They have no ethics and no morals either. They disowned me; cast me out because of something I did, which had nothing to do with them. To them, I’m already dead.” She didn’t go into specifics, but their attitudes immediately mellowed.

“I can tell you some stories of life on Terra if you’d like.” Julius added.

The others all clustered around him, and Julius launched into the story of the time Lady Furia lost her cool and because of it changed her attitude…