Editing Memories of a Stone Wall (section)

===Act XXVIII: Bad Decisions===
:>A light scrape of tabi on wood jolted me awake.
:>There was no light outside in the hallway.
:>I held my breath.
:>Heard another faint scrape, just outside the rice paper door.
:>I plunged my arm through the door, seizing hold of what was on the other side, and yanked it through.
:>Somehow, I managed to check myself at the last moment.
:>Before my tetsubo destroyed the face of Bayushi Amano.
:>He had no smartass remarks.
:>Even behind his mask I could see clearly he was surprised and terrified.
:>A not inappropriate response to an armored crab coming within a hair's breadth of ending your life.
:>I growled at him.
:>I've warned you before about sneaking around me, Scorpion.
:>Naomi stirred, sitting up.
:>Ishigaki, wha...?
:>It may be nothing Naomi.
:>Amano was just about to explain to me why he was creeping around outside our room.
:>I pulled back my tetsubo, but did not loosen my grip on him.
:>And it was going to be a very good explanation, wasn't it?
:>Ah, y-yes!
:>Really, Ishigaki-san, I was just exchanging messages!
:>Messages?
:>Yes, clever courtiers can guess what you are up to if they know who you are meeting with, and everyone knows the contents of letters are read and known to all!
:>I glanced at Naomi.
:>Yes, the Game of Letters is conducted with the full expectation that your letter will be read. 
:>God.
:>Dammit.
:>Scorpion.
:>I let go of him.
:>Next time you do that, stay the hell away from my room.
:>He stood shakily.
:>Fussed with the front of his Kimono.
:>I-I-I will remember, Hida Ishigaki-san...
:>He looked at the hole in my door.
:>Um...
:>Don't worry about it. Just get out of here already.
:>Right. right...
:>He opened the door and left quickly.
:>He didn't even think to ask why I was in my armor.
:>Ishigaki-kun, what ARE we going to do about the door?
:>I sighed.
:>I took off my armor.
:>And I sat in front of the door, unsleeping, until a servant drew near.
:>Hey, you out there.
:>The servant poked his head in through the door. 
:>Easy to do, since there was a man sized hole in it.

:>I tripped.
:>My sour expression convinced the servant that was all he needed to know.
:>About that time Daiko and Tetsute began to stir.
:>Brekfas! Brekfas!
:>As usual food was never far from Tetsute's mind.
:>Try to have it done by the time we're done eating.
:>HAI, Great Samurai!
:>We went to get breakfast with everyone.
:>Amano was there, now fully composed again.
:>I shot him one last glare, just to make sure he understood.
:>He looked down briefly, signaling he did.
:>Isn't someone missing?
:>Kitsuki-san answered evenly.
:>What do you mean, Monkey?
:>Monkey cupped his hands in front of his chest.
:>Where's Moshi Mounds?
:>Toshiro looked around.
:>That is odd, she's been stuck to you like sweet bean paste for the last few days.
:>Kitsuki-san chewed a mouthful of rice and swallowed before answering.
:>Perhaps there is some meeting she must attend with the other Mantis.
:>Mantis-san looked at him.
:>Nope, I haven't heard anything.
:>You wouldn't, Mantis-san. You're not a courtier, and you're friends with some of your Clan's enemies.
:>He grunted.
:>They don't keep me completely out of the loop you know.
:>Hmm.
:>If you say so.
:>We ate for a while in silence.
:>Monkey, never one to enjoy a simple silence spoke up again.
:>Hey, Amano-san. Did you get that thing you were doing last night taken care off?
:>Amano went just a tad paler.
:>I looked over to Monkey.
:>What thing?
:>Oh, he was just moving a barrel last night, I bumped into him cus I had to take a midnight piss.
:>I looked over at Amano, set my chopsticks across my bowl and smiled pleasantly at him.
:>Really?
:>Now THAT is very interesting.
:>Please, Amano-san, do tell us how your task went.
:>In detail.

:>It's not often one gets to see a Scorpion drenched in nervous sweat.
:>So I allowed him to take his time, as I savored the moment.
:>Um, well I needed to move a few things.
:>Yes, you told me last night.
:>Messages.
:>Must have been a lot of messages if you had to keep them in a barrel.
:>Uh...
:>Now everyone was staring at him.
:>Save Kitsuki-san.
:>And Tetsute, who was filching handfuls of rice from my half eaten bowl.
:>Unfortunately for Amano, not even my adorable little glutton could soothe my anger.
:>He had lied to me, to my face.
:>Kitsuki-san tried to diffuse my anger at his friend.
:>Ishigaki-san, I'm sure Amano-san had good reason for what he did. 
:>You know the peace faction is in a tight spot right now.
:>Right now I couldn't care less about the war, the politics or the contests.
:>A Scorpion was sneaking around my room last night, and then that Scorpion lied to my face about what he had been doing.
:>I stared Kitsuki-san right in the eyes.
:>That Scorpion is NOW going to tell me the truth. And maybe I won't kill him.
:>He's going to do that because if he keeps lying I WILL kill him.
:>Kitsuki-san stared at me in shock.
:>Amano's shoulders slumped.
:>Then Amano looked at Kitsuki-san.
:>...wait.
:>...no.
:>I looked back and forth between the two.
:>What the fuck did you two do!?
:>A round of huhs from the others.
:>I cut it off with a raised hand.
:>Now even Tetsute was paying attention to the adults.
:>Spill it, Kitsuki.
:>He sighed.
:>I asked Amano to get Aoi away from me.
:>Exclamations from the table.
:>So what, you killed her? Hid her body in a barrel?!
:>NO! No she's alive!
:>I just... I knew some some people who would be at the port, setting sail soon...
:>...So I had them take her away.
:>Even this far north, the ocean didn't freeze over completely.
:>Still, the ice chunks would make it very dangerous.
:>So by 'some people', Amano meant smugglers.

:>Toshiro spoke.
:>Let me get this straight...
:>YOU.
:>Pointed to Kitsuki-san.
:>Didn't like being hit on by an unbelievably attractive woman with huge tits.
:>So you asked HIM.
:>Pointed to Amano.
:>To deal with it.
:>And the plan YOU came up.
:>Looking straight at Amano now.
:>Was to stuff her in a barrel, roll her out of the castle and down to the harbor, and put her on a smugglers ship?!
:>Is THAT what you two are saying happened last night!?
:>Monkey, not to put too fine a point on it, spoke up.
:>Holy shit, even I'm not THAT crazy.
:>I looked over at Toshiro.
:>It's not the first time Kitsuki-san has become a massive idiot when dealing with interpersonal relationships...
:>Oh?
:>He once convinced Mantis-san to throw jade powder into his sensei's eyes, because he thought his sensei might me tainted.
:>Toshiro blinked.
:>And when sensei cried out, he hit him with a bokken.
:>...
:>...You do know powdered minerals sting quite a bit if they get in your eyes, don't you Kitsuki-san?
:>Hey, I had a perfectly good reason to suspect that!
:>Yeah, you were tired of getting beaten up in training.
:>No! It was more than that!
:>So what's your excuse THIS time?
:>I've seen the kind of crap that you three.
:>He pointed to me, Mantis-san, and Monkey
:>Have to go through!
:>I want no part of it!
:>I looked over at Toshiro.
:>Toshiro, I owe you an apology.
:>I had thought that you were the most hopeless one among us when it comes to relationships.
:>Toshiro nodded.
:>I never would have thought, 'hey, at least I'd never have you stuffed in a barrel and turned over to smugglers' would be a good pick up line, but there it is.
:>I rubbed at my temples.
:>Amano, did ANYONE ELSE see you last night, or was it just me and Monkey?
:>Just you two...
:>Good. 
:>Monkey you never saw him, got it?
:>Uh, yeah...?
:>Ishigaki-kun!
:>Mantis-san protested as well.

:>Hey, those tits were part of my clan's strategy!
:>Wait, what?
:>Oh come on. Like none of you knew.
:>She's one of the most attractive women in the Empire, so of course the Clan moved her from the Moshi temples to the courts and put her in those outfits!
:>If it can work for the Scorpion why not for us?
:>The rest of us looked at each other.
:>That Aoi knew what she was doing was not odd.
:>That she was acting on her Clans orders... that had never crossed our minds.
:>Oh. Maybe I shouldn't have said that then...
:>There's a lot of things that shouldn't have been said at this breakfast table, Mantis-san.
:>The fact that your Clan deliberately reduced one of it's shugenja to a sex object to get a leg up in court is probably the least shocking.
:>And now we all have to pretend like Kitsuki-san WASN'T part of a kidnapping plot.
:>Amano spoke up.
:>This is all my fault, Takeshi-san. I should not have tried to do it myself.
:>My own pride got me caught when there were others I should have asked for help with your matter.
:>Just let me take all the blame, I'll leave the rest of you out of it.
:>I reached across the table and smacked him.
:>No.
:>Amano stared at me, holding his cheek.
:>You're only guilty of being a mediocre friend.
:>A proper friend would have said 'stop being an idiot' and left it at that.
:>But this situation is all Kitsuki-san's fault.
:>You didn't kill her, right?
:>No. Just shot her with a blowdart that would put her to sleep for a while.
:>I closed my eyes.
:>I reminded myself I was the one who demanded full disclosure on pain of death; that I had, in fact, asked for this.
:>And all that's going to happen is that she'll wake up and find herself dumped off in a different city, right?
:>Right. That is the plan anyway.
:>I assume they know they face the usual Scorpion displeasure should they stray from that plan?
:>They do.

:>Well. 
:>A Kitsuki, one of the peace faction, working with a Scorpion, another member of the peace faction hatched a plan to kidnap one of the higher ranked Mantis delegates and remove her from the winter court.
:>Since she's going to be fine, more or less, I'd just as soon NOT let loose the shitstorm waiting to explode should that sequence of events come to light.
:>Monkey, you didn't see anything. I tripped in the dark and fell through my door, and this conversation never fucking happened.
:>And YOU.
:>I pointed to Kitsuki-san.
:>The next time you don't like someone, DO NOT do what you're thinking of doing.
:>GOT IT?
:>Got it...
:>TITS!
:>FUCK!
:>Oh.
:>Right.
:>There were children in this room the whole time.
:>TITS FUCK!
:>I buried my face in my hands.
:>Naomi...
:>Me?
:>This is YOUR fault! 
:>YOU deal with it!

:>I spent the rest of my morning sequestered with the children, trying in vain to explain the concept of coarse and impolite language to them.
:>Shitfucktits!
:>No, I'm actually fairly certain they understood.
:>They just found my reaction to their swearing intensely amusing.
:>I didn't have Naomi's knack for being firm without being scary.
:>Knowing me, if I tired to put my foot down I'd overshoot the mark and end up scaring them for life.
:>So I concluded that this was just another test I would have to endure.
:>Letting them get all the giggles out of their systems.
:>They would grow bored sooner of later, and find something else to amuse themselves with.
:>It was while the two of them were both babbling a stream of profanity, apparently seeing which one would need to take a breath first, that Shiba Ayame entered into my room.
:>I must speak with you Hid... ah?
:>Daiko and Tetsute looked up at her from where they were sitting.
:>Grinned.
:>Tits!
:>In perfect unison.
:>Ayame held an arm across her chest.
:>Don't mind those two, they just heard some words they shouldn't have.
:>What is it you need?
:>When I looked at her, I could see her one eye was red and puffy, with a dark circle under it.
:>Are you still having those bad dreams?
:>They're... worse now.
:>Tetsute opened his mouth, but Daiko pinched his leg.
:>He looked at her in confusion.
:>They both sat properly then.
:>Huh.
:>She looked over at them.
:>Um.
:>Take your time, Ayame-san.
:>I.. I think I may go mad if I do not stop them soon...
:>I have started to hear whispers in my dreams now.
:>Ishigaki-san, I know I am not ready but if I don't take my rev... 
:>I must resolve this matter soon. I can't wait any longer.
:>She bowed to me, a dogeza.
:>Please, help me! I need to know how to win!
:>I scratched my head. 
:>She was quite desperate, if I didn't help her she would go for it on her own. And get killed.
:>On the other hand, I really couldn't help her.

:>Victory isn't a matter of a single move.
:>It is everything you have learned up to that point, coming together.
:>The things I knew, my own path to victory over her gunso, was not one she could walk.
:>I knew that she would already know this.
:>But she was so desperate to put an end to the dreams she was having she was grasping at straws.
:>Wait here then. I need to get some of the others.
:>But...
:>Look, I can't tell you how to beat him. You KNOW that, and you also know why that is. But I can still help you. Just wait here. Please.
:>Or do you really mean to insult us all by throwing away the life we worked so hard to save?
:>It was a cheap shot, but it hit dead on.
:>She would be here when I got back.
:>I rounded up Toshiro, Monkey, Naomi and Mantis-san.
:>Couldn't quite bring myself to look at Kitsuki-san yet.
:>I explained on the way back that Ayame's dreams were still plaguing her, and her desire for vengeance.
:>Naomi, unsurprisingly frowned at that.
:>Mantis-san nodded.
:>Okay, you want those two to see if they can something for her dreams. 
:>What about me and Monkey?
:>Well, I need someone to babysit the children in another room while we talk about revenge.
:>And Monkey is surprisingly studious about kenjutsu technique.
:>Mantis-san nodded again.
:>Then stopped dead in his tracks.
:>Wait... 
:>ME?
:>Yeah, you.
:>Tetsute likes you.
:>Now come on.

:>Toshiro and Naomi sat down on either side of Ayame.
:>Don't mind us, we're just going to check if any of your elements have fallen out of balance.
:>Naomi nodded. 
:>Dreams are often prophetic, but they can also be a sign of a disrupted Chi flow...
:>Uh... Okay?
:>Ayame's confusion brought out a cuteness that reminded me of Naomi.
:>While Naomi had never truly let go of her innocence, destiny's rough handling had already hardened Ayame quite a bit.
:>I felt anger on her behalf welling up in me, but I wrestled it down and tucked it away.
:>Monkey meanwhile spoke up.
:>So, what's your plan for getting your revenge?
:>Naomi made an irritated noise in her throat.
:>Naomi. I don't expect you to understand, but this IS something she has to do.
:>She looked at me.
:>I rarely had cause to be firm with my wife, so when I did she knew it was important.
:>Very well.
:>Thank you, Naomi-sama. I know you do not approve, and I think I know why. But Ishigaki-san is right. I must do this.
:>Ayame turned to Monkey.
:>My plan, such that it is, is to simply duel him and win.
:>I've no idea how to get him to accept, but...
:>Monkey nodded. 
:>You should take a warrior pilgrimage.
:>I blinked.
:>Huh?
:>Any Samurai can go on a warrior pilgrimage for a time. They temporarily become ronin, but it lacks the disgrace of normally being a masterless samurai.
:>You use this to study abroad, learn techniques and test yourself in ways you wouldn't be able to tied to your Clan.
:>Ah, like Sun-Tao!
:>Precisely like Sun-Tao, Ayame-san.
:>Sun-Tao had been a great tactician, though accounts differed as to which clan he originally hailed from.
:>He had undertaken a pilgrimage, and had studied with each of the great clans, gaining insight into how they waged war
:>He then compiled his collected wisdom into a book, simply called the Book of Sun-Tao.
:>He never completed his pilgrimage though, and his book remains incomplete.

:>When he lived, the Ki-Rin were still lost beyond the borders of the Empire; they had yet to return as the Clan of the Unicorn.
:>So he had set out, following the path the Ki-Rin had taken outside the Empire, and was never seen again.
:>Monkey continued.
:>I don't think you'll ever catch up to him, let alone overtake him, if you keep on as you are now.
:>But, if you broaden your training, you might.
:>I think you should seek out the Disciples of Sun-Tao, and learn their technique.
:>Ayame looked at Monkey in surprise.
:>I did as well.
:>Would they even agree to teach me?
:>Yeah, they would.
:>Their technique harness the strength of your own honor. 
:>Huh. I hadn't know that. There were many schools that taught techniques that would best serve an honorable soul.
:>I had no idea how that was even possible.
:>Then again, they likely found it hard to imagine lashing out with your own earth to blunt an enemies attack.
:>Monkey went on.
:>Because of that they don't really care who learns it. 
:>It's useless to the kind of people they wouldn't want to teach it to.
:>It's because of the fine line that Sun-Tao himself walked.
:>He learned techniques and strategies from every Clan. And he told everyone what he had learned. Normally, dishonorable in the extreme.
:>But he did so in way that changed his book into far more than the sum of it's parts, so no one's trust was actually betrayed.
:>Instead he was quite honorable.
:>That's what the gaze of Sun-Tao is about, seeing broadly your foe, understanding him and what he will do, and allowing your honor to guide your blade along with that knowledge.
:>I was staring at Monkey open mouthed.
:>I have a cousin who studied with them.
:>Monkey shrugged.
:>It's because of my cousin that I wanted to become a fine swordsman in the first place...
:>I hadn't know.
:>Toshiro hissed then.
:>What, what is it?
:>There is something wrong here. I can feel it. It's like...
:>It's like there are Kansen here...

:>Toshiro frowned.
:>Those little shits can be anywhere, and they're hard to spot. 
:>For that matter, few spells that provide protection from magic work on Maho.
:>So you have to learn to recognize them by their absence. Something that seems to be magical but is not being caused by the Kami...
:>You are saying there are Kansen around me?!
:>I think so.
:>Ayame looked at Toshiro in horror.
:>What do we do? What CAN we do?
:>Nomi frowned.
:>It is as Toshiro says, Ayame-san. Proper magic and Maho are two different things, so different at base that our own spells do not interact with them favorably.
:>Just as a bushi cannot learn magic, nor a shugenja the bushi's techniques, maho and magic do not dwell in the same world.
:>Toshiro took over.
:>There are some exceptions, of course. A few earth spells use the purity of jade to ward off Jigoku specifically.
:>Ayame began to brighten.
:>But they do not last long, and can only block the spells as they are cast...
:>...and her hopes were dashed.
:>Toshiro, enough with the exposition. Just tell us what we can do.
:>Ah yes.
:>Sleep in a temple.
:>What?
:>The very best thing to do, if Kansen are flocking to you, is to go to a place they will not want to follow. 
:>A temple, a ring of pure salt, purifying yourself, the right kind of sutras and charms...
:>We will get started on them right away.
:>Ishigaki, take her to the shrine, would you?
:>Uh, okay.
:>I wasn't sure why Naomi thought I should go with her. I didn't even know where the shrine was.
:>Ayame saw me hesitate as soon I was outside the room.
:>It's this way Ishigaki-san.
:>I followed her.
:>We got to the shrine. A single room, plenty of scrolls, and a large gold statue of Bishamon.
:>Why was I not surprised.
:>A monk came out, looked at Ayame and wrinkled his nose.
:>Ah. Now I see why Naomi had sent me. How had she known?
:>What do YOU want?
:>I stepped between him and Ayame.

:>Monks occupied a strange place in the celestial order.
:>They were not samurai, even though many monks were retired samurai.
:>Still, their words carried great weight, and only a fool failed to heed them.
:>Furthermore, as monks were ostensibly neutral on worldly matters they were supposed to be safe from any form of violence.
:>This protection did not extend to sohei orders of course, and more than a few samurai, unwilling to give up on their old lives, remained politically active despite shaving their heads.
:>Those ones were the worst sort. They made up lies about spiritual things, used the weight of their authority on such matters as propaganda, and hid behind lies of neutrality to defend themselves from the proper ass kicking they deserved.
:>At least a sohei had the decency to appear before you armed, honestly expressing his intent to involve himself in the material world.
:>I got the distinct impression this monk was one of those political assholes without a shred of real spiritual power.
:>At times in the past, temples and monasteries HAD been attacked by samurai forces.
:>Sometimes it was an abbot declaring this or that general to lack piety, or be spiritually imbalanced, or some such thing.
:>Other times it was the monks offering safe harbor to the wounded, only for the wounded to heal and return to battle over and over again.
:>And on a few occasions it was revealed that some destroyed holy sites solely to blame the act on their enemies.
:>It was always a big thing when this happened.
:>The one who slew the monks would rapidly find public sentiment swinging against them.
:>Steadfast allies would turn their backs, old enemies would have the excuse they needed to join in, and it would all come crashing down.
:>Of course, this did little for the monks who were already dead, but few people were so ignorant of social mores that would kill a monk without a second thought, even though Monks were not samurai.

:>Of course, I was a Crab. 
:>Crabs are, as far as most Rokugani are concerned, illiterate brutes barely able to construct a coherent sentence who think only of food, sex, and violence.
:>So I donned a mask that conformed to the monk's expectations, set my expression to violence, and growled at him.
:>Two shugenja have determined this woman is being targeted by Kansen. They said she is to sleep in the shrine tonight, so the Kansen will flee before Heaven's Gaze.
:>I am here to see to it their orders are carried out.
:>He swallowed, hard. 
:>Letting me know he really did think I was dumb enough to hurt him if he upset me.
:>Sometimes having a reputation for having a short temper can be useful.
:>Sometimes.
:>Of course, Great Samurai, please bring the poor girl inside. I will fetch a futon for her, and some charms as well!
:>Do that.
:>As the monk hurried off, Ayame giggled.
:>It's fun, watching you work.
:>The monk returned with a futon and laid it out for Ayame.
:>A short time later Naomi and Toshiro arrived.
:>They placed some sutras around the room, lit some incense, and said some prayers.
:>There. 
:>That should do it.
:>So... I will sleep well tonight?
:>Toshiro frowned. 
:>If you do not, you must tell us immediately.
:>It would mean one of two things.
:>Which are?
:>Either it is not Kansen causing your nightmares.
:>Or there is something or someone commanding the Kansen to target you, that can force them to come here even when they would resist with all their might.
:>...
:>Another Maho-Tsukai?
:>Targeting me, again?
:>Why!?
:>I hadn't even considered the possibility, but as soon as Toshiro said it, I knew how possible it was.
:>Part of the reason Maho-Tsukai were such a problem was because they could be anyone.
:>The Kansen would 'serve' any person who spilled blood and whispered prayers to the Dark Kami.
:>The other problem was that Kansen often made Maho-Tsukai themselves.

:>The Kansen knew where ancient scrolls of dark knowledge were hidden, and were drawn to them.
:>Just as earth kami hovered around Toshiro's scroll satchell, and water kami near Naomi's
:>Kansen would find people who were unhappy with something. They would whisper to that person, they would guide that person to the scrolls, hidden away and forgotten with the death of their original owner.
:>So, despite the seemingly absurd chance, there really was a good possibility that there was another Maho-Tsukai about.
:>And he could very well be trying to tempt Ayame down a dark path, twisting her desire for righteous vengeance towards an evil purpose.
:>In the worst case, it could very well be this how THEY recruit their disposable minions and puppets.
:>THEY certainly had a lot of those...
:>Even though I was certain Hohiro was tied to THEM, I still wasn't certain whether he was puppet, or puppet master...
:>Toshiro caught my eye.
:>He had been thinking exactly the same thing I had.
:>So I explained to Ayame.
:>Ayame-san, Maho-Tsukai sometimes seek to draw others under their influence, to grow a small cult around themselves. 
:>Iuchiban and the Bloodspeaker cult are the most famous example of this.
:>It may be that there is another Maho-Tsukai here, the master of the one we slew. And now he wishes to replace his lost pawn.
:>With me?
:>I nodded gravely.
:>But how does cursing me help him do that?
:>Naomi answered that
:>In time, you will remember more and more of the dreams.
:>Eventually, you will hear whispers, even while awake.
:>The Kansen, under his orders, will try to tempt you with the power of blood magic.
:>They will use your desire for revenge.
:>THIS is exactly why I do not like revenge; it so easily leads to horrible things!
:>Ayame looked down, ashamed.

:>I knelt down beside Ayame...
:>There are many stories of great heroes taking righteous vengeance on those who wronged them.
:>It is not an easy path. You must hold tight to your honor, and prepare yourself to be both patient and to endure great hardship.
:>Can you do that?
:>Even with that constant reminder of your betrayal?
:>Ayame did not answer right away.
:>...yes. Yes I can do that.
:>Then that is all that matters.
:>Do not give in.
:>Ayame nodded. 
:>I won't.
:>Thank you all so much for your help.
:>I can never repay you.
:>I could not think of any way to dismiss her gratitude as unnecessary without insulting it, so I accepted her thanks.
:>We left her in the shrine, and headed back to our room.
:>So, if it IS another one, does anyone have any idea how we root them out?
:>Toshiro nodded.
:>I might have one.
:>Let's just hope it doesn't come to that.
:>He refused to explain further.

:>Naomi was upset with me.
:>She wasn't saying anything, but I could practically feel her displeasure.
:>So I took her outside, onto a balcony, where we could be alone.
:>Alright then. Let's have it.
:>Have what, Ishigaki-kun.
:>I didn't bother to acknowledge her attempt to pretend nothing was wrong.
:>I simply folded my arms and stared at her.
:>The silence stretched on for a bit.
:>At last she spoke up.
:>Why do you insist on encouraging her?
:>Even when the person she intends to fight is so much more skilled, even when the darkness her desire for revenge allows into her heart is a weakness through which she could damn herself, even though her gunso is assured to have family and friends who will seek vengeance in turn...
:>Nothing good comes of it Ishigaki-kun!
:>I couldn't hold back my sigh.
:>I didn't want to do what I was about to do.
:>You done?
:>Naomi blinked at my cold tone.
:>Do you really think I'M why she does this?
:>Do you really I could change her mind?
:>It isn't logic that drives her, it's emotion.
:>And logic isn't going to resolve those emotions.
:>Bushi and Shugenja live in two different worlds, Naomi.
:>You know that.
:>But you seem to forget it's not just the ability to speak with the kami that separates us.
:>Bushi fight.
:>Bushi die.
:>Bushi kill.
:>And you are right, being surrounded by death DOES mark a person.
:>It's up to each individual to decide how they deal with that.
:>And it is ONLY that individual who has the right to make that decision.
:>Whatever the outcome of her decision, it's HER decision. 
:>Not yours.
:>Not mine.
:>Not her lord's.
:>Not her clan's.
:>HERS.
:>The only thing we can do, they only thing we have any right to do, is make sure she's thought it through thoroughly and is ready for whatever the outcome might be.
:>You've said your piece already. Repeating yourself like you are only makes her LESS likely to listen to you in the future.
:>You're going to need to accept this, or things will get difficult when our children come of age.

:>Naomi stared at me wide eyed for a long time.
:>Only the Isle of Mists had made me hate myself more.
:>But Crabs do not shirk their duty, no matter how horrible it may be.
:>Naomi had to understand the difference between bushi and shugenja, and the fact that few could ever be as forgiving as her.
:>...and you would have Ashitaka walk this blood soaked path as well?
:>Daiko, Tetsute?
:>She placed a hand on her stomach.
:>I would have them walk their own paths, Naomi.
:>And if I saw them heading to a difficult part that I had already passed, I would share my knowledge with them.
:>But they must walk their own paths.
:>Naomi looked away from me.
:>Shit.
:>I had thought, after our time at Kyuden Hida, she had come to accept the fate Crabs bore, the fate warriors bore.
:>I was wrong. 
:>She had hidden it, and quite well, but now I saw she was so upset over what had happened to Ayame, and what Ayame was going to do about it, because she saw the future of her brother, and our children in Ayame.
:>I grabbed her, and pulled her in for a hug.
:>To my shock, Naomi tried to pull away.
:>Though her attempt was halfhearted.
:>I knew how strong she was, with the water kami guiding her.
:>If she wanted to, she could have lifted me over her head and tossed me from this balcony without any real effort.
:>The fact that she didn't actually break away meant she DID want comfort and reassurance.
:>She had just hopped, perhaps expected, I would agree with her.
:>In the past, my friends and I had expended great effort to hide harsher truths from her.
:>Precisely because none of us wanted to have this conversation with her.
:>But, we couldn't hide things from her forever. 
:>She had the right to know the lives her children would face.
:>She started to weep.
:>I held her, and stroked her hair.
:>That always calmed her down.
:>I didn't chide her, or try to get her to stop.
:>I supported her while she let out her emotions freely.

:>After a time she sniffled, and pulled away.
:>Thank you, Ishigaki-kun.
:>She smiled sadly.
:>Like that, then?
:>Support, but do not interfere?
:>I don't know if I will be able to do that Ishigaki-kun...
:>I chuckled.
:>You ignore your own pain until it's almost killed you; yet seeing another person in pain, even if it's as minor as a paper cut, is something you cannot bear.
:>I can't understand how that works, but it's one of the reasons I fell in love with you.
:>It's not just failings of character that can lead us astray, you know?
:>Hai. I... I will need some time to accept this. But I do understand.
:>You always did; you just needed someone to remind you.
:>I am not that wise, Ishigaki-kun.
:>Sure you are. 
:>She laughed softly.
:>If you say so, my husband.
:>We went back inside.
:>The next day, we visited Ayame.
:>She looked much better than the last time I saw her.
:>You slept well then?
:>Yes, I did. Your plan worked!
:>Toshiro nodded.
:>Good, good.
:>Sleep here a few more days, just to make sure they stay gone. 
:>Ayame nodded.
:>We all ate breakfast together, Kitstupid-san and Bayushi Amakidnapa were there as well.
:>Of course by now I had forgiven them their lapse in judgment.
:>Holding it against them in any way was beneath me at this point.
:>Kitstupid-san and Amakidnapa, I mean.
:>As I chewed my rice I wondered if they were lovers.
:>So I decided to ask them. 
:>Kitsuki-san, Amano-san...
:>They looked over.
:>Yes?
:>Are you two in a relationship or something?
:>Choking noises erupted from all around our table.
:>Some of it was mixed with laughter.
:>Some was pure shock.
:>Ahha! You ARE, aren't you!
:>NO!
:>CERTAINLY NOT!
:>Why would you even think that?
:>Well, it would certainly explain how you, Kitsuki-san were able to reject the advances of one of the most beautiful women in the Empire,
:>And your actions, Amano-san, make a bit more sense if you had been driven mad with jealousy.

:>I thought I explained already Ishigaki-san.
:>Physical gratification is easy to come by, but emotional attachment is a burden I do not wish to deal with.
:>Amano-san was still in shock, but he managed to squeak out.
:>I'm engaged you know...
:>No, I didn't.
:>I pointed at the both of them with my chopsticks.
:>So you're both certain there's nothing going on between you two?
:>I won't judge, I promise!
:>A thumping came from down the table.
:>Mantis-san was choking to death, a smile on his face and tears running down his cheeks.
:>Toshiro was pounding his back, trying to get him breathing again.
:>Monkey had vanished beneath the table, though I could see his feet kick into the air every now and again.
:>Even Naomi had gone quite red and had both hands clapped over her mouth.
:>Kitsuki-san stared coldly at me.
:>There is nothing.
:>Fine, fine. If you aren't ready to admit your true feelings, I won't force you to.
:>Just know that I will always support you.
:>Thank you for your consideration, Ishigaki-san.
:>Amano just tried to vanish inside his kimono.
:>Toshiro managed to save Mantis-san's life.
:>Though it was close.
:>Once we finished breakfast we headed out to join the rest of the court.
:>The karo announced the next competition.
:>Performances were next on the agenda.
:>Sing, dance, play an instrument, perform a scene from a play. Alone or in groups.
:>The audience would judge the finest performance.
:>More art. 
:>Well, I suppose I could at least sit back and take in some culture for a while.
:>Oi! Ishigaki-san, Toshiro-san!
:>We looked over.
:>It was one of the Hiruma who served as Yojimbo to Katsuie-san.
:>We're doing a draw-lot play! We need you two! Come on!
:>Toshiro and I looked at each other.
:>Sighed. 
:>Fine, but we're both going to need a lot of sake.
:>He grinned.
:>Of course!