Editing Catachan Jungle Fighters (section)

==Positive side==
[[File:Catachanofficer.jpg|300px|thumb|right|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EISFTCLB3nw "When I joined the Corps, we didn't have any fancy-shmancy tanks. We had sticks! Two sticks, and a rock for the whole platoon - and we had to share the rock! Buck up, boy, you're one very lucky Marine!"] - Sergeant Major Avery Johnson]]
There are, however, some positives that balance out all of the bad, bad things about being a guardsman from Catachan. Assuming you live long enough to enjoy them.

*Your muscles will be so thick that you count as having flak armor, even without a shirt on. If you wax your chest and liberally apply oil, it acts similarly to Space Marine armour. Only Catachan veterans know why this works. (it's because almost everything will slide off your abs up to and including battlecannon shells)
*Commissars seem about as intimidating as a [[grot]] compared to the horrors you've grown up with.
*You get to kill Commissars.
*Those Commissars that don't end up dead are the smart ones who can tell the other regiments officers to piss off while reasonably assisting the CO.
*You are so badass that you use the terms "Cadian" and "Mordian" as an insult.
*You're able to kill [[Orks]] with your bare hands. If that doesn't work, you can use the FUCKHUEG knife you <strike>get</strike> make growing up. This can range from the stealthy [[Basic_Close_Combat_Weapons#Night Reaper|Night Reaper]], to the standard but no less impressive [[Basic_Close_Combat_Weapons#Catachan Fang|Catachan Fang]], to the [[Dick|Big Dick]] [[Basic_Close_Combat_Weapons#Devil's Claw|Devil's Claw]].
*You might be led by [[Colonel "Iron Hand" Straken|Colonel "I ate a Miral landshark for breakfast" Straken]].
*You might also be led by [[Gunnery Sergeant "Stonetooth" Harker|Gunnery Sergeant "I headlock Tyranid Raveners to death" Harker]].
*You might get surprise help from [[Arden|Trooper "I killed twenty three Orks in one fight with a knife" Arden]].
*You can arm-wrestle a goddamn [[ork]].
*After all you went through growing up on your homeworld, most of the hardships of being in the Imperial Guard will be a joke to you. To a point. There are some enemies even Catachan can’t prepare you for facing. Physically, but mentally you’ll be golden.
*You can make Hollywood Action Heroes look like Justin Bieber by comparison.
*You are better at killing Orks than soldiers who actually specialise in killing Orks.
*It's very easy to get laid (if you can beat the woman in a fight and like tomboy muscle chicks, that is); there'd have to be a lot of screwing to keep the human population up on a place like this, and there's little to no time for seduction or courtship. Only drawback is the competition for a partner is high, fierce and the 80% of the ladies are butter-faced roid ragers. If you [[Musclegirl|like muscles]], you'll like this place. Normally you’d think they would keep the women safe, because no shit. But Catachan is so dangerous even that isn’t really an option. Well, shit.
*And did we mention the fuckhuge Sword-knife yet?
*You don't have to worry about your home getting invaded as any invasion force is likely to become dinner for the fauna, flora and the civilians.
*[[Sly Marbo]]
*[[Cata-chan]]