Editing Chaos Spawn (section)

==On The Tabletop==
===Warhammer Fantasy===
Although a terrible option due to their randomness and point cost (akin to the [[Daemons]] army fittingly, which is interesting because it shows just how better the Vikings are than their masters), they aren't unusable; like most things in the more balanced Warhammer they simply aren't as good as other options although taking them won't lose you the game. Thanks to a more recent update to the game making it possible for your models to suddenly turn into one of the fucking things, players should now own some (thanks Games Workshop, my wallet was getting too heavy to carry!) in case the Dice Gods turn on them. Luckily, each Chaos Spawn sprue comes with two spawns built in and extra appendagaaaaAAAAWWWAW'''AWWAAWAWAWWBLWBLWBLDYEHTERYEETFDF''' {{BLAM}}

===40k Part 1: Why These Units Used to Suck===
You-know-whats were just absolutely horrible before 6th Edition. Costing the same as three actual Chaos Marines, they would wander around the board aimlessly with a throw of the Scatter Dice, moved D6, had the Rage special rule and died to [[Bolter]] fire, earning your opponent a free kill point. They fucking sucked, essentially. There is considerable evidence that they were originally supposed to have the Feel No Pain rule, ergo making them marginally useful as a meat shield, but sadly the 4th Edition Codex, through a series of misprints, lacked this.
To drive home just how bad these things were if they actually got into combat, there is no way statistically they could win combat against equal points worth of GUARDSMEN, the resulting extra wounds they would take from No Retreat would wipe them out immediately since they had no save. The ONLY thing they could tar pit was [[Fire Warrior]]s and even then the odds were in the FIRE WARRIORS' favor.

===40k Part 2: The Redemption===
[[File:ChaosSpawn2.jpg|450px|thumb|left|[[Fail|Failure]] no more. Yet the brave Guardsmen keep coming, despite witnessing stuff like that. Where's Creed when you need him!?]]

[[Phil Kelly]] remembered that under that mass of writhing limbs and stupidity, there's [[Vraks|generally]] a Chaos Space Marine (and/or more likely had just finished watching John Carpenter's "The Thing"). So brace yourselves for a shocker: '''they're actually pretty damn good'''.

New features include...
*A lower point cost (30, as opposed to the previous 40).
*Causing fear while being fearless themselves.
*No longer moving randomly <i>or</i> at a goddamn crawl. In fact, they move as fast as Metal Bawkzes and <i>do not give a shit about terrain</i>.
*Rage now meaning that they get +2 attacks on the charge, making it actually useful.
*A D3 roll every turn that determines what mutation they get for that turn. They can get a 4+ armor save, a roll of 2D6 for their number of attacks (you pick the higher one), or poisoned attacks (at 4+ to wound).

With the removal of No Retreat, they also won't automatically shit themselves with a lost combat. Indeed, being Fearless, they barely care at all.

Their stats are otherwise unchanged, so ''holy shit'', it's almost worth taking two or three of them and throwing them headlong at the enemy as a [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX|multi-wound distraction to soak up fire for you]]. Almost. Okay, that is not true. 30 points for a model with 3 T5 wounds that can move 12", has useful special powers, can be taken in squadrons and can become T6 with Nurgle is frankly excellent. Mark of Tzeentch could conceivably boost their staying power slightly too. Stay away from Khorne and Slaanesh, though. Unless you run into [[Grey Knights]] or [[Dark Eldar]], for whom the Spawn is just a mild annoyance.

Alternatively, run several Khorne-marked spawn towards any vehicle with rear AV 10 and watch them wreck all in their path, until your friends realize just what they are capable of and gun them down in a panic, [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX|which hey, can also be according to plan.]]

Actual serious use is fielding them as escort for a Jugger Lord. More wounds for less then a bike squad, and no encouragement to shoot... which your choppy lord should never do. Plus, they make your majority armor save nothing, meaning those grav weapons the loyalist scum keep using wound on 6s only.

Fun fact: renegades can get an unmarked three Chaos Spaaa... gribblies deal for only 55 points. Three Chaos Spawn for under the price of two. Let the good times roll!

...Oh son of a bLARGLABLARGL{{BLAM}}

===40k Part 3: The One Where You Actually NEED Them===
In the new Chaos Space Marines Codex there's a table, like the one in the Warriors of Chaos Army book, on which your HQ rolls when killing an enemy character (keep in mind: not IC, just C). It's a 2D6 table with some of classics: +1S, +1T, +1W...

But one of the results... forces you to swap your awesome super killy Chaos Champion with... err, the-one-which-shall-not-be-named! So now you '''have to buy''' a box of these sick horrors in order to play. At least for Chaos Warriors, the time when your Marauder Chieftain turns into a Spawn and ''still does more damage than it would normally'' is truly priceless. The same thing probably works for Cultist Champions, and still proves to be useful, since the you-know-what detaches from the unit and could be used to tie up something shooty with poor melee capabilities, like Devastator squad or Crisis team, for a turn or two. All Traitor Legions can also take them as auxiliary choices, and they are the cheapest of the bunch. So give your Warband a mascot for full decurion benefits.

Rage and threats to eviscerate every GW employee that isn't Phil Kelly, are expected, but really, [[Warriors of Chaos|it's 'bout time you fucking newbies had to deal with this Chaos Spawn shit anyway]]...

Ohh my God-Emperor no WAIIIII... '''RAWRAWRASDAFGSFDS''' {{BLAM}} (Automated Message From Cadia: We are out of Usable speakers and will be employing new ones at the Recruitment Center nearest you.)

{{BLAM|(...why do we do this in the first place?)}}

<br/>
<span style='color:blue;font-size:100%'> Tee hee hee, they may be horrible in combat but my little Spawns succeeded in destroying Cadia's entire propaganda machine!! Just As Planned!! </span>

Let us hold a memorial for all those turned into Chaos Spa- Oh boy, that was close... I nearly said it. NOT TODAY. This writer's too smart to say Chaos Spawn... '''OH DEAR EMPEROR NO, PLEA-GRARRGAGFD''' {{BLAM}}

<span style='color:blue;font-size:100%'> Kekekekekekekeke! </span>

Hey wait a minute Tzeentch. How come you can you say chaos spawn without mutating? Wait....'''SHIGRHQHQGDAAAARGLEFLADCHALLOIII''' {{BLAM}}

<span style='color:blue;font-size:100%'> Kekekekekekekeke! I'm a god! I can say Chaos Spawn all I want! Chaos Spawn! Chaos Spawn! Chaos Spawn! Kekekekekekeke--- '''WAIT NO SCREWADHWAAAAHGHTSKAFHTAGN'''</span> {{BLAM}} {{BLAM}} {{BLAM}} {{BLAM}} {{BLAM}} {{BLAM}} {{BLAM}} {{BLAM}} {{BLAM}} {{BLAM}}

I'm guessing that was [[not as planned]].

<span style='color:blue;font-size:100%'> [https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Creed CREEEEEEEED!!!!]

...I really have no idea how he pulled that one off... </span>

===40k Part 4: Just as Planned===
Certain psychic powers of Tzeentch can turn enemy models into you-know-whats, AKA you get them for free. Originally the "Boon of Mutation" spell used to be an extremely short range save-or-die assassination power for removing multi-wounded HQs, and while it only had 1/3 or even 1/6 chance of working against most of its intended targets, it was one of the few ways of circumventing Eternal Warrior at the time and could be used even when the sorcerer is locked in melee - the you-know-what summoned used to be just cherry on the top after you popped an enemy Chapter Master or Farseer with it. The modern "Baleful Devolution" is a much more comfortable 18" focused witchfire with a more reliable S6 AP and even multiple (if random) number of hits, but it only summons gribbly things on sixes to-wound (which also add Instant Death), and as a focused witchfire while it can snipe specific models, it can be LoS-ed. Thus it's more about sniping special weapons or sergeants and occasionally creating witchfire-sponges within charge range of a target unit you want to charge.

Aetaos'Rau'Keres can even transform entire units with his template "Boon of Mutation". Because what else could force you to buy dozens of Chaos Spawn models? Then again he's 999 poi... Oh fuck, I swear I didnmlgrabomUMFROP'''ARGHMRMROMGH''' {{BLAM}}

===40k Part 5: 8th edition===
Well, 8th edition did arrive. The gribblies here got buffed, but they're still quite mediocre. For the same point cost as a Terminator they move faster and can hit harder with their random amount of randomly buffed attacks, but they're squishy and cannot deep-strike; meaning they'll just end up suffering from a sudden case of ballistic projectile to the face. You might want a model in case of double "1" when rolling on the Chaos Boon table or to fill a FA slot for cheap, but for the rest they're outclassed by other choices. That said, the Thousand Sons have a couple of useful Stratagems that are made specifically for them, including one that lets them select a buff manually instead of rolling for it and another that transforms any of their own characters into a you-know-what (named [[Fluff|The Flesh-Change, no less]]) for free.

>Alternate opinion: while nothing to build an army around, taken in units of one, they're a very cheap way to fill Fast Attack slots, and a single... you know what roving the battlefield has its uses if it can stay out of sight until the late game or otherwise avoid getting shot (they also tend to be fairly low priority targets in the early game as your opponent usually has better things to shoot at), they can do work in the late game. They're punchy enough to threaten depleted units of troops or tackle a wounded character and have a reasonable chance of eating their face, and they're cheap enough that you can just fling them at said wounded captain or whatever and just shrug if they whiff and die. Not bad for a chaos spawn AH GODDAMMIT I ALMOST WAHSAFHWSFAFSGAGDV {{BLAM}}

===Age of Sigmar===
With 5 wounds and 10 bravery, Chao...these fellas have some good stats for heavy infantry/meat shield status. The 2D6 movement and attacks characteristics can lead to some pretty unpredictable results, so don't expect everything to go as planned. All and all, not a bad addition to a Slaves to Darkness, Beasts of Chaos, or mixed Chaos army. Probably the most meh Spawn at the moment - wait, I only said half, it doesn't counNOOOOOSGADGSAGDFDGASFDWGASFAEWSDDAGSGGDWGSD {{BLAM}} {{BLAM|Apparently the latter half triggers it as well with sufficient context? Useful information for the Inquisitorial archives.}}