Editing Misty (section)

== In the TCG ==
This is a non-exhaustive list of some of Misty's most interesting cards. It's not exhaustive because there are a fuckton of Misty cards and [[The Pokemon Company|The Pokémon Company]] won't stop printing them until they stop printing money.

[[File:Misty.jpg|150px|thumb|right]]
=== Misty === 
The very first Misty Trainer card. The short version is that if you discard two cards from your hand and you're using specific Pokémon AND you meet a couple other conditions you deal 20 damage to your opponent's Pokémon.

If you've ever played the Pokémon TCG before, or really any TCG before, you will have already realized that this card is beyond terrible. Get yourself a girlfriend who sucks as hard as this card does and you'll be walking with a limp for the rest of your life.

No, I do not want to go -3 to do 20 damage to one Pokémon. Nobody should want this.

Unfortunately this card exists for a reason, and it's a bad reason. In the early days of Pokémon between [[Bill]], [[Professor Oak]], other Trainers like them and degenerate levels of search and recycling, you could have as much card advantage as you wanted. The situation was so bad that it got to the point where [[PlusPower]], a Trainer card that does 10 damage situationally and nothing else, was not only played, but was a competitive staple.

The fact that PlusPower was a staple meant that a 20 damage card with a higher cost and more restrictions was inevitable. This is that card.

Old Pokémon was a fucked place.

[[File:MistyWrath.jpg|150px|thumb|left]]
=== Misty's Wrath ===
This card is an example of just what absurd amounts of card advantage Trainers gave you back in the day. +1, no cost, no restrictions, no stipulations, it's free real estate. It isn't even just an extra card, you get to pick which cards you get. You see a degenerate draw card, maybe another Misty's Wrath in there? Take it and just play it again. 

The only thing vaguely resembling a downside is that playing four of this will rip up half your deck, but that's still nowhere near a bad enough drawback for it to not be worth putting four of these in every deck you ever make. Cards like this are the reason why the Supporter rule was added, which made it so you could only play one absurd draw power card like this a turn. Even then, Pokémon still to this day has more card advantage than [[Yugioh|Yu-gi-oh!]] or [[Magic the Gathering]].

Also, Misty's chin is fucking massive in this art. She looks Gigachad with a boob job.

[[File:MistyDuel.jpg|150px|thumb|right]]
=== Misty's Duel ===
This is another draw power Trainer, but a bit more balanced because you probably don't want to use it if you have more than 5 cards in your hand or your opponent has less than 5 cards in their hand.

What's interesting about this card is that it's a very rare example of a card that has different rules in different languages. That's hardly ever seen not just in the Pokémon TCG, but in any TCG. The Japanese version of this card doesn't include the text about flipping a coin if you don't know how to play rock-paper-scissors at all. 

Why the heck did WOTC add the rule? Did they seriously think that two people would both be old enough to read the text on this card, yet somehow neither of them would know how to play RPS? Even if that scenario happened, why would one of them have even put the card in their deck? I know this is supposed to be a kids game, but I would have found this patronizing when I was seven.

[[File:MistyWish.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Misty's Wish]][[File:MistyFavor.jpg|150px|thumb|right|Misty's Favor]]
=== Misty's Wish & Misty's Favor ===
These are two very solid cards. 

Misty's Wish is fun because it interacts directly with your Prizes, which is a zone that is almost never accessible. If your opponent accepts you go -1 but gained some card selection. If they decline it's an even 0 but you thinned your deck. It's clearly a strong card, but not obnoxiously strong.

Misty's Favor came out a whole 21 years later, well into the Supporter era of the game. This card simply lets you search your deck for any 3 Supporter cards and add them to your hand. This is a straight +2, and if you want you can even search another Misty's Favor to use again next turn. The disadvantage of this card compared to other Supporters is that you can't play any of the cards you draw from it the same turn because Misty's Favor is a Supporter and you just played it.

These are both very solid cards in their own right, but the reason why they're among the most expensive rares and uncommons (respectively) of their eras has very little to do with that and a whole lot to do with the fact that the art is Misty looking at you, smiling and blushing with hearts floating out of her.

I eagerly await the variant of this card that comes out in 2040 where Misty has heart-shaped pupils.

[[File:MistyTearsEnglish.jpg|150px|thumb|left|American Version]][[File:MistyTearsJapanese.jpg|150px|thumb|right|Japanese Version]]
=== Misty's Tears ===
This is the Misty card that got censored stateside.

The American version of the card has some very nice Sugimori art of Squirtle comforting a crying Misty.

The Japanese version of the card has some very nice Sugimori art of Misty completely naked.

Yeah.

The card itself is actually a wonderful top down design, because you throw away a card (because you are sad) and gain two Water Energy (one tear from each eye). It's a reasonable deck-thinning card because you can toss out a Water Energy and lose this card to get two new Water Energy; not really changing your hand but thinning your deck. It also has obvious applications in multi-Energy decks.

Nobody cares about that though, this is the card where you can see Misty's whooole boob.

[[File:SabrinaPsychicControl.jpg|150px|thumb|left]]
=== Sabrina's Psychic Control ===
This isn't a Misty card, but she's certainly participating.

So this card is fucked up on two levels. First, this card lets you steal a Trainer card straight from your opponent's graveyard, which is fucked up in an awesome way. Second, this card's art depicts [[Sabrina]] mindbreaking Misty, which is also fucked up in an awesome way, come to think of it. <ref>If you also think mindbreaking Misty is fucked up in a kind of awesome way, I highly recommend this romhack: [https://hypnohub.net/forum/show/24140]</ref>

The practical applications seem limited because it's difficult to imagine your opponent will have a better card in their graveyard than you could have put in your deck when you were designing it, but it opens up very stylish ways to win and it's certainly not a weak card.

Man though, Misty just can't catch a fucking break today. First full frontal, then femdom love slave. It isn't even the weekend yet.

[[File:MistyDetermination.jpg|150px|thumb|right]]

=== Misty's Determination ===
Here's a more positive note. Look at that smile, she got hypnotized by an Asian dominatrix and she isn't letting it get her down! How inspiring.

This card is a less bonkers version of Misty's Wrath. You have to discard a card to use it and you only get to choose one card, not two. You do get to choose from 8 cards instead of 7 so at least it isn't [[strictly worse]]. It isn't terrible and may be quite strong in certain decks, but even in those decks there are probably better Supporters you could be using. It has the same problem as Misty's Favor in that if you grab a Supporter you can't use it until next turn.

What's amusing about this card though is the name, which was translated very carefully. The Japanese title is 「カスミのやる気」. A literal translation of that is something like "Misty is ready to do it".「やる」is, among other definitions, slang for "to fuck" in Japanese. 「気」means a whole bunch of things, but in this context can imply "intent". Now「やる気」as a whole is a compound word that has nothing to do with sex. It does, however, mean "eager and ready".<ref>If you're curious what the last symbol means, 「の」is a possessive conjunction. The の tells us the やる気 belongs to カスミ.</ref> And, well, you see the art.

It appears the translator took the safe route and picked the least sexual translation they could come up with that was still accurate. Noble, but not enough to stop me. I'm not only bilingual, I'm also immature enough to find a Pokémon card where Misty is ready to pounce on my dick hilarious, among other emotions.