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===Thread 25=== "Ugh..." You groan loudly as you sit up at long last, grabbing at your head with both hands to try to slow the spinning world down. It doesn't work. Though you notice, without really caring at this point, that your friends have disappeared. Because at this very moment, there is only one thing you care about. "I need some damn coffee..." "Darkhammer said the same thing." You start at the unseen voice, peering around, entirely unprepared to face whatever Tzeentchian horror awaits. "Have at you, daemon." "...Max?" You tilt your head up, your eyes rising to meet Tonya's. "Oh, just you." The Pariah laughs a small laugh, before canting her head and giving you a ponderous once-over. "...I was pretty serious about that coffee..." With several struggling, old-man grunts, you finally pick yourself up off of the ground with a last heave. Grumbling, you scratch at your chest, which does nothing through the power armor. "Damn it..." "You alright?" Tonya asks, her face one of... True concern? "Decidedly not, I forgot how bad those things leave you the next morning." You tell her even as you reach around to grab the last of your gear. "What did we do, anyways?" "Nothing much. Attacked some shrubbery for a few hours, and I think you hibernated after that." "Feels more like I went a few rounds with an Ogryn in an old timey no-gloves match." "Probably from you headbutting the ground and biting at..." "Don't need a play by play, I'd rather not know, I think." With a sigh, you sling yourself up onto the bike and peer at your necron girl. It wasn't too long ago now that she was trying to make you into some kind of cold robotic science experiment. Which, for good reason, wasn't exactly your cup of tea. "So where are we headed, anyways?" She asks, hefting herself up onto the bike behind you. "Beats me, I was headed for the nearest coffee place." "...Its four hours past nightfall." "And?" "Nothing, I guess? Its just that, I prefer..." You crane your neck to look back, mouth agape in horror. "Tea?" She finishes quietly. Damn robots and their soulless excursions into destroying humankind, they could at least let you have your bean juice without having to explain yourself. "So let me get this straight, instead of wanting the excrement of ground up beans and hot water, you want... Leaves, steeped in water?" "I prefer tea, but I'm fine with either, I suppose." You can only just turn back around, shaking your head. You knew by this point, that the Necrons were pretty wacked out. "Damn straight!" Chris shouts. "No trobburrr!!!" The Salamander hangs his head and leaves. ...But you didn't know that the Necrons could be soulless enough to choose tea over coffee. Monsters, pure monsters the lot of them. "Wait." You sit up in the firm leather seat of the bike. "What kind of tea?" You ask, turning back to Tonya. "Well the best kind, of coarse." She grins, forcing you to smile back, your lips moving on their own. "Earl grey." You finish for her. "I was going to say Chai, but that works too." "Damn straight it does." You grumble as you fire up the bike. If you are going to have tea, you are at least going to have the greatest tea in the Imperium of man. As you rev up the engine, your mind gives you a none-too-subtle "FUCK YOU BUDDY!" at the loud and obnoxious noise. Mika's custom bike, is if nothing else... Well, it pretty much is everything you could ask for in a bike. Massive engine capable of plaid, check. Plenty of dakka, check. Servo skull navigation system... Well maybe you can get one of those eventually. For now, you just rely on your trademarked sense of direction to see you through. "Max, I don't mean to be rude but..." Tonya scans around, looking at the decrepit trees that seem to hang limp and dead in the silent forest. "I don't think this is the right way." She's probably right, but above all else you are a man. If there is one thing you know about being a man, its this. You never ask for directions, because you always know exactly where it is you are going. ...Though it takes you about an extra hour to get to the small town thanks to your "shortcut". After a slow, rolling stop, you kill the engine and lean the bike on its kickstand. "Pip's House of Cheer.", which you can surmise is a tea house because of the billboard telling you so. Sometimes you are impressed at your own genius. It also helps that its the last building still standing, the rest all appear to have been leveled. Probably by some of the blown out tanks scattered around. Too tired to scan for traps, you enter. Which means, as you should have expected on Yagis V, that there is a trap waiting for you. The rope net springs upwards, snatching you and Tonya and pulling you close to the ceiling. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" You ask, struggling against the thick coiled ropes. Suddenly, from below, you spot movement. "Max, what are those?" Tonya asks, pointing. Below you, armed with bolt guns and sticks, are six servitors. Chav servitors. "WE CAN TALK THIS OUT LIKE GENTLEMAN!" You shout, even as you activate your plasma cannon and send a burst into two of the servitors standing close together. "We can wot mate?" "INTELLIGENT DISCUSSION!" Your lasfinger catches another through the skull, dropping it like a bag of potatoes. Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew. A dozen Immortals warp in and all at once the small cafe is ablaze with gauss fire. The Chavbots are yelling out unintelligible things, none of which you can hear over the roaring crackle of your flamer, the whine of your lasfinger, or the drone of your plasma cannon. "...Didn't you whisper to me that we were going to try to talk our way out of this?" Tonya asks as the smoke clears, the Chavitors all in smouldering pieces. "You can't talk to them, they are immune to logic, and jedi mind tricks." "Jedi... What?" You stare Tonya in the eyes, and quite surprised, she stares right back. With a small, mystical wave of your hand, you speak. "You will not turn me into a Necron." "...Didn't I already say I wouldn't?" As you cut yourself down, helping Tonya to the floor, you can't help but smirk. Jedi mind tricks, gets em every time. The Immortals having quietly gathered up the bodies and dragged them into a closet, you and Tonya are left alone to your drinks. "How is it? Its been a while since I've tried making any." The Necron girl says, scratching her cheek shyly. "Not bad...?" You tell her, trying to pick the scarab out of your mug without her noticing. With a sigh, you lean back in the chair and take another drink. Or try to. "Where the fuck do you all keep coming frommmm??!?!" You hiss quietly at yet another scarab pulled from the mug. "Now that we're alone, there's something important we need to discuss." Tonya says, turning solemnly back to you. "The Necron alliance with us, right right..." You shrug. "That can wait." Tonya tells you, stirring her tea. "Still have no plans of becoming a Necron." Tonya sets down her tea suddenly, locking eyes with you. You sigh, and sink a little lower in the seat. "Yeah I know, I could stand to be a bit more serious, but just... Not tonight." You awake, quite groggily, in Tonya's arms. You must have dozed off, because she's carrying you princess style through a wide wooden hallway. With a pomf, she drops you onto a bed, having already stripped you of your power armor. "Wah, what are we going to do..." "You know damn well what we're going to do." She interrupts. With a flick, she shuts off the lights. A firm pillow under your head, cool sheets pulled up around you... Certainly not what you had expected. Especially now that there is a naked Pariah next to you, staring right at the ceiling. "Huh, that isn't what I thought you were implying." "Hmm? What did you expect?" A cool, metallic hand clasps around your very confused but very intrigued inquisitor. "Oh." "Yep." "Well, I suppose if it will help you sleep." The Necron says, bemused as she swings herself over to straddle you. "You sure about this one, bud?" Your inquisitor asks. "Not in the least." You have no reassuring words for him. "Emprah preserve us all." He says, staring up into the waiting Necron tomb. The sensation is... Different, that much is true. Not warm like the others, but not cold either. Snug and somehow calculating, it isn't a bad feeling. Well. Until you hit the gears, at least. --- "RAAAWWWWWGGGGGGG!!!!" You howl in pain as your inquisitor meets a whirring set of cogs. The gears keep spinning, however, and there is nothing you can do, no amount of struggling capable of freeing you now. Your agony echoes through the room as the gears continue to pull, ripping at your flesh. With a terrible realization, you see that they aren't about to stop. "No Tonya, no!" With a terrible, metallic grin, Tonya only says one thing. "Hue hue hue." The horrible process continues, more and more of your flesh being sucked up... A sickening sense of realization. Its eating you. All of you. It takes twenty minutes for her to consume you whole, though only fifteen for you to finally die. Her belly extended now, Tonya gives it a satisfied pat before letting out a small burp. She covers her mouth, embarrassed. "Thanks for the meal." She grins. --- "Whoa! What are those?!" You jerk your hips back quite suddenly. "My mistake, I'll slow them down." Slowly, she sinks back down and you meet the gears yet again. Wet, soft gears? "Oh wow that feels... good?!" You twitch and convulse at the sensation. "Ah~! It does!" She gasps, grinding herself down and forcing you deeper, which causes you to grab at the sheets. "Wait if you d...!!!!" Unable to stop yourself, you flood the tomb with your plasma. "..." "..." "Already?" She asks, looking a bit amused. Not about to let a Necron of all races give you any shit about finishing early, you flip her over onto her stomach. Slamming your inquisitor home yet again, you start to give it your all to make up for your previous error. Tonya, no longer poking fun at you, is clutching the pillow as she gasps. You aren't quite sure how a Necron orga... Tonya suddenly convulses, her entire body shaking as she lets out a loud moan which turns into garbled machine code. Her eyes glow a brilliant green for a few brief moments, illuminating the entire room in a faint glow. After that display, she sinks down into the bed, and you collapse on top of her. "Wow." You can't help grinning as you lay down once again in the rather nice bed. "Wow what? You're not even close to done for the night." Tonya says, a mischievous tone in her voice. "What do you mean?" --- But all too late, you realize. "You should have known I wasn't about to give up." She smiles, her Immortals already holding you down. "Uhh... Wat?" Tonya sighs in complaint as two more Necrons drag a glowing green trunk into the room. "Its a portable unit, but it will just have to make due." There is no escape now... Max is turned into a Necron, he spends the rest of his life yearning to live again, despite his Pariah waifu. --- You sit up in the bed, too tired to even sleep at this point. For what its worth, Tonya hasn't slept either, though you aren't sure if she even needs to. "Oh, morning already?" She chimes happily, drawing aside the curtains to take in the sunrise. "So now I can get some sleep?" You almost plead. "Sleep? No no, we've got to get going! Did you forget everything the Emperor told you before he left?" "...Yes?" Tonya sighs, her hands on her hips as she looks down at you. "Today is the big tactical meeting. We're all supposed to gather together to work out how to defeat Malal and his forces." "All of us...?" "Yes, all of us. The Eldar, the Tau, the Orks, everyone." Pulling the covers over yourself, you turn around and close your eyes. "Cool, let me know how it turns out." "You can't skip, not today." "Why?" You groan. "Because this whole thing could fall apart without you. You are what is holding this shaky foundation together, at least for now." "Five more minutes?" "..." Tonya drags you out of bed, and helps you into your armor yet again. At least some tea perks you up, noticeably absent any scarabs this... Well, nearly scarab-free. The Pariah hustles you onto the bike, in quite a rush it seems. "Step on it, or we will be late!" Error 404 - Bike skills not found "Max watch it!" Tonya shouts as you nearly collide with a tree. "Hnerk?" You look up just in time. To see the tree you do hit. Despite rolling end over end across the ground, and skidding to a painful halt, you pass out upon stopping. Simply too tired to stay awake at this point. An explosion, perhaps your motorcycle exploding, you don't have your eyes open to see. Until, that is, the trees start attacking you. "Ow, what the fuck is going on!" You shout, scrambling to your feet as another heavy branch pummels you on the back. "The trees! Get away from the trees!" Tonya shouts, running for the road. "Owwww! Bitch!" You smack at another set of branches with your axe as they rake you. Again and again they rake you. Just as you are about to dive for the road, a root leaps up to give you a nice punt. "Fuck you and every oak that looks like you!" You cry, before landing hard on the pavement. Well at least your face broke most of the fall for you. "Are you alright!?" Tonya shouts, rushing over to you. You spit out a mouthful of twigs, angrily wiping at your tongue to get bits of bark off of it. "Lets just get to this damn meeting." You grumble, looking at the smoldering wreckage of your bike as more trees continue to beat on the flaming remains. By the time you arrive, you are incredibly late. Beyond the point of even a cool late arrival. More like being the dick who forgot shit was even going on. It doesn't help that you're sound asleep by the time you arrive, nor that you adamantly refuse to wake up once there. "Well this is a problem..." Ailia comments, as the girls crowd around to look you over. "Tch! Up, you!" A psyonic jolt rips through your body, and you leap to your feet almost instantly, your eyes peeled as wide as they can be. You lower your eyes at Esh, who glares back. "You're late." She states. Lost for words, you do the only thing you can think of. "Yowtch!!!" She cries as your hand smacks into her rump with a satisfying sound. "Serves you right, some cold water would have worked." "I told you we should have gone with my plan." Senna grumbles. "Your plan was to dose him up with combat drugs." Kaleshi states as Lycheria raises a concerned eyebrow. "I-I'm just glad he's here..." Mika adds quietly. "Well you all seem to be getting along pretty well." You speak up as you take a seat and reach for a bowl of assorted snacks. "It's because we've all had to put up with you, common enemy and all that." Esh smirks. "Hows that backside?" Her smile quickly fades. "You'll get yours for that." "Hey dudes, I mean its great and all that we're all together and whatnot. But can we get on to this stuff now? Its kind of important man." You finally notice the Emperor standing next to Creed and the four chaos gods, all of whom are watching your antics. "Yeah, lets make it happen, the faster this gets done the better. But I want to know exactly what I'm doing here, I mean, plans aren't exactly my strong suit." You shrug. "Precisely why you have to be here." Tzeentch says, despite looking quite unhappy to see you. "What?" "Its simple, really. You are the anti-plan." "The what?" "The anti-plan. As in you can take a perfectly good plan and completely fuck it up, like you always do, always messing with my pl...!" The Emperor grabs Tzeentch and does his best to calm the fuming raven goddess down. She struggles, clearly quite angry. "That's why she doesn't like you, you're always messing up her plans." Kaleshi whispers to you, before biting your ear. "Ow. I see, so that's been her beef with me this whole time, that I screw up plans?" "Screw up? More like implode." Niut adds. A faint hiss and a sharp pain in your neck. "What the fuck is with everyone... Oh hey Doomrider." "JUST SOMETHING TO KEEP YOU AWAKE!" He gives you a thumbs-up. "What was it?" "DIRECT DAEMON-COCAINE INJECTION." "Seems safe." "IT ISN'T." While the girls and various commanders and generals get together hatching some kind of battle plan, you add in insightful tips to help them out. Like how fast your heart is beating, and how awesome of a drummer Neil Peart is. "Also I don't much care for your purple balloon face." You shake your head disappointingly at Creed. "I think you gave him a bit too much." The General eyes Doomrider wearily. "I DIDN'T MEASURE IT." The Daemon admits with a grin. "Here, maybe this will help." Senna hits you with her own injection before the wall of protests can stop her. "You've been waiting to do that this whole time, haven't you..." Senda glares. "Maybe." You don't know why the colors are all talking, or why your heart is now a baneblade, or why this room is actually ancient aliens. All you know, is one simple thing. "I have a massive erection." You state, loud enough for the entire gathering to hear. "...Classy." Esh facepalms. "Oh, I think I gave him the wrong one..." Senna admits, flipping through her key ring of syringes. "Maybe we should get him out of here? I don't think he's going to be much use like this..." Lycheria says, poking you in the forehead, which draws no reaction. "The colors, duke, the colors..." Your tongue lolls off to the side of your mouth. "He p-probably just needs some sleep.." Mika says, tenderly closing your eyes. While the real planners get back to their task at hand, the girls carry your rather limp form to a different tent and lay you down on a pile of sleeping bags and pads. "Should we just... Leave him here, then?" Karen scratches her head, quizzically giving you another look. "Lets at least get him out of this armor, or he'll wake up with a sore neck." Lycheria laughs as she gets to it. It doesn't take the group long to get you out of your armor, in fact it hardly takes any time at all. They seem to work well together in a group. The girls pause at the doorway, turning back to look at you. "Get some sleep." Senda says quietly. You sit up in bed quite suddenly, your eyes alight with crackling warp energy. "No one sleeps tonight." "Max what are you..." "Activate tentacle dicks." You say, staring blankly forwards. "Haha, oh Max get some... Good gods he isn't kidding, look out!!!" *** With a satisfied groaning stretch, you emerge from the tent at long last. Its a new day entirely, a fresh morning dew adorning the ground. "A great day for a final battle." You admit, cherishing the sunrise. A groggy torrent of curses and complaints follows as you fling open the rest of the windows with a flourish of your mind powers. The girls all look incredibly tired, exhausted even. "Haha, what got into you all last night? Stay up doing boring plans and whatnot? I slept great!" You snatch a cup of coffee from a passing servitor and take a long sip out of the Blood Ravens mug. "What got into us? What GOT INTO US?!?!?" Esh fumes. "Quit complaining bitch, you know you liked it." Kaleshi smirks from behind her Sudoku book, adjusting her glasses. None of this registers with you, too enthralled with the happenings of the camp around you. The whole army is mobilizing, and by army, you mean everybody. Orkz are helping Guardsmen load up shells, Eldar and Tau are discussing something... This is a scene that a few weeks ago, would have been an utter impossibility. "Well hat-chan, its been a fun ride hasn't it buddy?" "Max, we need to talk." "Talk? Why?" "Dude, I'm pretty sure that was some crazy Slaaneshi shit last night, I'm kind of concerned for you, as a friend." "Ah, don't fret little buddy, it will all work out." "Max, who are you talking to?" A familiar voice asks from beside you. "Huh? Oh, sup Eight, didn't see you there. My hat." "Your... Hat?" "My hat." "...Right. Well you should get your group moving, we're heading for point Alpha in half an hour." "Point Alpha... Point Alpha... Why does that sound familiar?" You rub your chin in thought. "Ah well, it probably isn't important anyways. Hey girls! Get up, its time to go fight!" "How can you be so awake? You didn't even sleep at all last night!" Ailia laments as she pulls on her pilot suit. "What? I slept great." You shake your head with a chucke. Tau aren't great at jokes. "Whatever, lets just get this over with." Esh grunts, hefting her spear and walking out past you. "I am so ready for this!" Kaleshi booms, sprinting out after her, already adorned in her armor and chainaxe in hand. The rest of the girls file out, most looking quite tired. "I-Its not that I mind, but that was k-kinda w-weird..." Mika says as she stops in front of you, before looking you in the eyes, giving a small squeal, and running off to go find Rex and her Stormblade. "Well dude, it's been one hell of a wave." The Emperor walks up next to you and claps you on the shoulder. "No matter how this goes down man, you've made me proud." "Thanks Emps." He gives you a thumbs-up before walking toward a group of very tough looking armor clad bad asses who present him his flaming sword. Well, now you are all set for this final battle. Knowing that, you hop onto the nearest tank and stand upon it, folding your arms defiantly. "Right then you lot, lets get it on." "That's cool and all, bro, but we aren't your ride." Helena sighs. "I can ride with whoever I damn well please." You frown. "Yeah, but we are the ambush group, not the point Alpha crew." "...And?" "And you specifically said you were heading to point Alpha, not get off of my tank!" Helena wings a wrench at you, which bounces harmlessly off of your pauldron. "Pfft, whatever, this tank isn't cool enough for me anyways." You stick out your tongue and hop down. "Cool story bro." Both of you make faces at each other for a minute. "...But make sure you come back alive." Helena adds as you turn to go. "I always do, don't I?" You grin. "Don't soil your record now then." She frowns, before closing her eyes, sighing, and then smiling at you, "I'll come kick your ass back alive if I have to." "I won't need it, this shit is in the bag." With one last wave, you head off toward the... "HEY MAN, GOOD OF YOU TO SHOW UP!" "You know me, how could I say no to drugs, booze, and crazy women?" "HAHA, TOO RIGHT!" You and Doomrider brofist. "I was wondering when you would show up." Kaleshi smirks. "Ara, did you miss these that much?" Nyx asks, attempting to reveal her cleavage before realizing her armor doesn't allow... Wait, apparently it does. "I am going to kill... So much shit... And I'm going to love it!" Lilith exclaims, blazing with crazy warp energy from her miniature armor. "Well she certainly seems excited..." "All the Slaanesh forces are fired up for some reason, even the big... it, itself seems to be ready." "Really?" "Rea~~lllyyy..." Slaanesh says as it runs its hands down your pauldrons from behind, before leaning forward to whisper in your ear. "What you did last night... That was art, pure art." "Err... Thanks?" "Should I be concerned at all, in the slightest?" "Depends, do you like tentacles?" Lilith asks. "...Maybe?" "Well then maybe." Nyx grins. "I am so lost." "Well you had better find yourself and quick, because its time for SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!!" Kaleshi raises her axe, revving it hard. The whole of the Chaos forces roars at her gesture, from the largest of daemon prince to the smallest of chaos spawn. "Quite an impressive force we have here." You muse. "Fuck yeah it is, we run this shit." Kaleshi grins, putting on a pair of sunglasses before slipping a pair onto you. Nyx gently places a fat stogie in your mouth, which Lilith lights with a bit of daemonic fire. "Swag." You grin from your position atop the twin linked chaos landraider limousine. "Pure swag." With the armored fist of Chaos, your chosen army leads the assault. Ahead of you, far off in the distance, the forces of Malal wait. Even from here you can see the smog rising above their army. "Punk ass doesn't stand a chance." You grin. "Gentleman, its time." You tell the Noisemarines occupying the top of the vehicle as an honor guard. "By your command." "Begin." The Noisemarines raise their weapons, and play the song of battle. "...What is that, what are you playing?!" "The song you told us to play." "That sounds like a mariachi band." "Si senior." "...Continue." Your massive landraider eats up the terrain until it stops with a gasping hiss. Before you, sprawling as far as the eye can see, the forces of Malal. The warped, skeletal bodies of marines, long since dead, standing in their ragged armor. Unspeakable beasts ten men high with gnashing bleached bone skulls and black soulless eyes. "So, Commissar, at long last it comes to this!" Abbadon shouts at you, slipping off of his own landraider. You match him, and both of you approach to within a foot of the other. "You remember the rules?" He asks, gesturing at his second man, a chaos sorcerer. "I did not." You nod. "YOU READY TO GET THIS ON, SHITBAG?" Doomrider asks, spinning his axe around in his hand easily. "Good thing I didn't have to." "Well then, its time." Abbadon sneers, drawing his terror sword from its sheath. "Oh yeah, motherfucker, its go time." Abbadon gets the first swing in, his sword missing your face by a mere millimeter. His fist, however, collides with your skull. This forces you to jump back to avoid another slash, and to juke again to dodge the incoming fist combo. "Man you really are a cunt, you know that?" You ask, wiping the blood from your mouth. "And soon you shall be dead and all will be well!" Abbadon shouts, striking again, this time his sword nicking your left pauldron as you roll to avoid it. You notice Doomrider easily dispatched of the Chaos sorcerer, against the rules or not as both you and Abbadon still stand. Abbadon seems to have seen that as well, and in his moment of hesitation you strike. Your axe lodges itself in his terminator armor, sinking into his pauldron where it gets stuck. "Guh!" You leap backwards to avoid another attack, and draw your last remaining melee weapon. The sword of Nurgle. "Time to die, human!" Abbadon yells with a massive downswing. You raise your own blade, which meets his. Sparks of chaos energies ignite along the edges of the swords, and you struggle against his size and strength. You do the only thing you can think of at that moment, and extend your finger. The las blast catches Abbadon right where he would least expect it. "Ow you fuck! That was my knee!!!" Abbadon breaks the weapon lock to fall back, giving his knee a look. Sure enough, there is a nasty fresh hole through it. "Serves you right, bitch." You raise your sword yet again, giving him no quarter. "So, one shall live and the other shall fall. Today, you die!" He screams, collapsing to the ground. "Malal, I implore thee! I choose now to ascend!" Before your very eyes, Abbadon starts to change... You rush up to him and kick him square in the balls, but the foot, it does nothing! "HAHAHAHA! Now, Commissar, witness the doom of mortals!" Abbadon roars, rising to his full height, easily four times your own. "Man, that is some cheating bullshit right there." You groan, noting now how outclassed you might be. "Well, seems a good a time as any!" Kaleshi yells, leaping onto Abbadon from behind and burrowing her chainaxe into his neck. The Daemon prince that was Abbadon swats at her, but she is too fast to be struck. "My, it looks like I'll have to get dirty after all. Pity, blood all over my clean armor." Nyx says, tight lipped and for the first time that you've ever seen... Angry? "Witness the power of decay!" She cries, raising her arms. All at once, the ground erupts into hives of swarming black insects. The bugs bombard Abbadon, and though he swings at them, his attacks do nothing to stop their assault. Lilith stomps once, and tentacles shoot from the mouths of the hives, lashing themselves around Abbadon's limbs. "Now, Max! Hit him now!" With everything you've got, sword raised above your head, battlecry echoing across the field, you jump. Sailing with all the fury of the Emperor, the chaos gods, the Angry marines... Channeling the rage of Fucklaw himself, you fly. Abbadon swings out at you in one last attempt, his sword drawing nearer and nearer... A crack, and his hand explodes in a torrent of black ooze. "You're all clear kid, now lets blow this thing so we can go home!" Eight yells through the vox. "There can be...!" You land on Abbadon's chest, sword raised. "ONLY ONEEEE!!!!!" With that last shout, you swing with every ounce of might you can muster. The plaguesword buries itself into the pale white flesh, black blood spraying forth as it digs deeper and deeper. Abbadon screams, you scream, everyone screams for ice cream. Until, with a jerk of freedom, the blade exits the other side. The wave of black blood washes over you, and you raise your sword, basking in it. Malal's chaos forces appear quite flustered, hanging back. "Good show, for a human. Pity it matters little." Horus says, knocking aside several chaos marines as he steps forward. You ride Abbadon's corpse to the ground, watching with satisfaction as he head bounces once and rolls to a stop at your feet. You place one foot on it, and pose dramatically, the daemon girls at your side. "Leave my son to me." You turn, and notice the Emperor land effortlessly slightly behind you. His generally warm face and twinkling eyes are now solemn and dark. "I knew it would come to this again, Horus." "And again, you shall die." With a resounding boom that nearly knocks you off of your feet, the blades of Horus and the Emperor meet yet again. "I never wanted it to end this way!" The Emperor shouts over the din. "You were always a pitiful fool!" Horus cries back. Two daemons of Malal, jerking, skeletal things, leap from the ground. Their claws rake out at the Emperor, startling him and forcing him to dodge. "MAX!" Doomrider shouts. "Got it!" The two of you each pick a daemon and engage. The beast snorts and wheezes at you as it strikes, the claws scraping into your armor. A wince of pain and you realize they drew a bit of blood. "LOOK OUT!" Doomrider tries to warn you, but too late. A dozen Chaos marines bearing the black and white of Malice are behind you, chainswords raised... Until a rhythmic thumping starts to clear them out. Whipping your head around, you see Eight charging through the fury of the full on battle, a heavy bolter somehow in his grasp as he fires into the group ambushing you. Freed up, you strike down the daemon at last, which gives the Emperor all the room he needs. With one furious thrust, he sends his sword right through Horus's own, skewering the primarch through his chest. "DO IT!" "Za warudo!" The Emperor shouts, and time freezes. In the span of a millisecond, he throws a hundred tiny knives into Horus. Leaping ontop of a stompa with a drum roller on it, you kick the control lever and run the dying Horus over with the massive roller. You, the Emperor, and Doomrider all punch the stompa until it explodes. "WRRRRYYYYYYYYY!!!!!" You, and no less than a hundred Eversors, all yell. That piercing scream seems to break the last of the will of Malal's forces. Leaderless now, it seems, they still try to fight on for a few moments. Until Eldar psychers pour on the heat, Tau let loose with some truly nasty weaponry, Mika and her Admech open up with the fury of the machine spirit. Dark Eldar, too fast for the lumbering Chaos marines, rip Malal's forces to bits with fast strikes. The Ork line shows no sign of breaking, protecting the Necrons behind them and allowing their devastating fire to continue unrelenting. Now if only there was one thing to win this all over... Thirty Titans and at least a hundred baneblades all rise out of the ground, and start firing. "I am the plan!" Creed cups his hands and shouts out over the battlefield. That seems to be the last straw for the forces of Malice, who start to break and route. Stupid, as that just makes them easier to chew up. There is no quarter, even as they run. Not a single soldier of Malal lives to see another day. "I can't believe we finally did it." You say, as the battlefield begins to quiet down. ...Until you hear a faint song, almost a whisper on the wind... "Haaaattteerrrssss~..." "Oh no, oh fuck no..." Creed glares so hard it breaks the control console in front of him, and he snips the cigar in two with his teeth. "...Don’t hate us like we’re famous..." "No no no NO NO NO NO!!!!" He jumps down, grabs a tarantula turret, raises it to the sky with strength of fury, and forces it to fire with pure hatred. "HATERS GOONA HATE!!!" The drop pods all chime as they slam into the ground all at once. "FUCK. EVERYTHING!!!!" Creed pitches the turret aside in disgust. "Ah, a glorious day for the universe indeed. Good thing the Partridges were here, or this would have ended in disaster!" Harry chimes as he strolls out from his drop pod in a burst of doves. "Oh, well if it isn't my good friend Logan." He pauses, taking a sip of his Space Wolves mug as he smiles back at the glowering Wolf lord of Wolfish Wolving Wolves. The Egomancers already seem to be taking effect, as you hear cries of jubilation from the lesser forces of each race. Though those with strong enough mind can resist their powers. Not that this seems to matter, as guardsmen are already helping the Partridges to erect massive banners, alluding to their glorious battle here. "You have got to be fucking kidding me..." You groan, feeling quite helpless. "Badger shit cunts." "Badger shit cunts indee... Wait, Fucklaw?!" The old Commissar gives you a quick once-over, before nodding curtly. "What are you doing here?" "A simple errand, really. But I feel like..." "Huh?" You realize, all too late, your fatal error. Fucklaw's eyes twitch, and his hand raises the pistol. You can tell he doesn't want to shoot you, but it might not even be up to him. --- Fucklaw is a man of few things, but there is one thing he has to stick to. His principles. *BLAM!* The shot pierces Max's head, and the body of the faux-commissar falls to the ground with a thud. "Heresy, its all heresy!" Fucklaw shouts, before destroying this thread. --- "No Fucklaw no! The enemy is out there man! OUT THERE!!" You narrowly avoid the shot from his pistol, than another, and another. "Are you fucking INSANE!?!?! YOU INTERRUPTED FUCKLAW YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT ASSFUCKING YOKEL!" An angry marine shouts as he pulls you out of the way. "Hey, thanks for the save!" "I SHOULD PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK! I DIDN'T GET TO KILL ANYONE YOU CUNTLICKER!" As though to demonstrate his point, the angry marine boots a corpse, sending it flying. Fucklaw approaches again, his gun holstered. "Excuse my outburst, you knuckle dragging cocksucker, but you should know to never interrupt me." "Yeah, got it. Now, about these Partridges..." "Creed... Hey, Creed..." You whisper. "What is it, kid? I'm not really in the mood?" "Got any spray paint? I've got... A plan!" Creed raises his head off of his double face palm, looking you right in your crazy eyes. "You? A plan??" "Oh yes, a plan." *** "Brother, why did you erect these new banners? They don't conform to the codex Partridge." "What banners? Hey, what are these...?" *** The Blood Ravens all perch at the outside of the battle. "Gifts?" One of them chimes quietly. "Gifts!?!?" Another joins in. *** "GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS!....." Is all you can hear now coming from the approaching wave of red tide. "Emprah preserve us all..." Harry says, dropping his mug as the Blood Ravens begin... To gift... Themselves... EVERYTHING. "FLEE, YOU FOOLS!!!" You shout to your forces, who look at you bizarrely. "I said run! Don't you see?! Run unless you want to be gifted to the Blood Ravens!!!!" "By the dark gods, no!" The Marines shout, quickly piling back into their metal bawkses. "GO GO GO GOOOOO!!!" You hound your own driver even as you help the three daemonettes up onto the landraider limo. Doomrider and Emps jump up to meet you. "Hold onto your butts, I've got this!" The Emperor shouts, before giving the landraider a single tap. It immediately turns golden, with radical rock music blaring out of its speaker guns, its treads now replaced with surf boards. "What are we going to do?!" Lilith cries, panicked, at the red wave approaching. "What I do best," The Emperor states, standing once more, "We're going to surf our way out of this." And surf you do. The torrent of rushing Bloody Magpies serves as a wave, a wave the Emperor plans to surf brilliantly. Below, you can see the Ravens quite clearly. In their hands they clutch various things. Partridge bolters, purity seals, a space wolves mug, whole Partridge marines themselves... "Wow, I didn't think it would work this well..." You comment, quite impressed at your deed. "Never underestimate the Blood Raven's penchant for gifting, man." The Emperor nods, chuckling at the sight. Things seem to be going great, you are surfing along with Kaleshi and Emps, the battle is won... Oh fuck. You slip on the shiny surface of the metal bawks, and before you can stop yourself... "Gift?" A Blood Raven asks, stopping to look at you. "Gift!" Another chimes in. "Oh no..." You groan. And all at once, they start to gift you. They gift you real hard. "Gotcha!" Kaleshi shouts as she grabs your wrist, and with a heave, pulls you back onto the landraider. You are covered in Blood Ravens purity seals, emblems, and a hasty red paint job. "I... I've been... Gifted...." You gasp, hugging the tank as it continues to surf the wave of marines below it. "Oh, that's a good look.... BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!" Lilith finally just cracks up, pointing at you. "Ara ara, poor Max. Don't worry, we can get that all off." "This... This is what relics must feel like..." You shudder in your armor. Even the Emperor doesn't appear immune, his legs covered in purity seals and Blood Ravens markings where the waves of Ravens crashed over the front of the tank. "Get us out of here!" You yell to him. "I'm trying dude, but man this swell is gnarly!" "Just do something!!!" "The Angry Marines, head toward their titan!!!" You point the Emperor toward your one and only possible salvation from the gifting that lurks below. "GET WITH THE FUCKING PROGRAM YOU TWATS AND RAMP, FUCKING SHIT WHAT IS TAKING YOU SO LONG YOU ASSDICK?!" "You heard 'em, ramp this damn thing!" So the Emperor does the one thing that can save you now, he ramps off of the foot of the titan. The momentum of the wave carries you into the sky, where you leave the last of the Blood Ravens behind. Your landraider soars effortlessly for several moments, before descending to a radical landing inside of the Angry Marines line. "WELL PISS IN MY FUCKING CEREAL, IF IT ISN'T THE SHITEATING COMMISSAR AND THE HOLY EMPEROR OF FUCKING TERRA HIMSELF!" Temperus Maximus yells, so angry he snaps a rhino in half with his fury. "Thanks for the assist." You tell him. "SHUT YOUR DAMN PILE HOLE YOU SHIT EATING MAGGOTFUCK, I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU, CUNT!" "Hey, Temperus, cool it dude..." The Emperor raises his hands to try to placate the chapter master. "NO! I DIDN'T GET TO FUCKING KILL A SINGLE MOTHERFUCKING COCKFAGGOT BITCHSUCKER THIS WHOLE FUCKING SHIT ASSED DAY!" Angry marines. "HEY YOU YELLOW BELLIED SHITFUCKERS! THOSE THRICE-HERETICAL MAGPIES JUST TRIED TO LOOT THE EMPEROR! WHAT THE FLYING FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT THAT!?" And then we run. "Hold the fuck up..." Temperus says in a very uncharacteristic booming voice, a whisper to him. "Did those fucking cuntrags try to gift you, Emperor?" "Well I mean..." "GET THE FUCKING POWERBATS, THE POWER FUCKS, GET FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT CAN FUCK SOMEONE UP WITH POWER! TODAY WE ARE GOING TO DICKSLAP SOME BITCHTOED BIRD MARINE FAGGOTS!" Temperus screams, grabbing at a pile of power weaponry and carrying most of it with him as he breaks into a furious charge toward the wave of Blood Ravens with a final "FUCK!!" In a torrent of curses, so loud you have to clamp your hands over your ears, the Angry Marines charge after their chapter master. "Bad day to be a Partridge or a Blood Raven, I doubt the Angry Marines can tell the difference, or even care!" Kaleshi yells as you all run from the ensuing fray. "I'm just glad I'm not one of them!" You yell back. You notice a mushroom cloud made of Blood Raven and Galactic Partridge body parts behind you. Once in the air, they gather up to form the word "SHITFUCKINGCUNTS!" in the sky. "Yeah, real bad day to be one of them." Lilith agrees. At long last, you are finally out of the action. The battle still wages between Angry Marines and anyone unfortunate enough to be left behind, but you are just thankful that doesn't include you. After checking in, you affirm none of your friends got caught up in that shitstorm either. Your group slows up to a stop, all of you breathing hard. "Well, dude, I need to go find my bird girl and make sure she's alright." The Emperor says, before vanishing. "I'M OUT OF COCAINE!" Doomrider pipes up in a panicked voice, shuffling through his bags to affirm that he is, indeed, completely powder free. "I'LL CATCH YOU LATER OR SOMETHING, BUT I CAN'T STAY HERE THIS ISN'T COCAINE COUNTRY!" He warps out as well. "Cool, so we get to...Mmmmph!?" Lilith glares at Nyx, who placed a hand over her mouth to cut her off. "We have things to do as well, you two have fun now..." Even they disappear. Leaving you with... "Been a while since we were alone, hasn't it..." Kaleshi says, standing beside you as you both watch the clash from a far distance. "Yeah, it has been." "So... What now?" She asks you. "Now? I never think that far ahead." Kaleshi giggles, before leaning her head against your shoulder. To tell the truth, you really hadn't thought this far ahead. "Well, whatever it is, I want to be there." "I want you to be there, with me." You tell her, looking down at your loving khornette. "Getting soft on me?" "Pah, as if. I'm just one smooth operator." "So you are." Kaleshi laughs. You both watch the carnage for several minutes of silence. The Angry Marines don't appear to be having too much trouble tearing everything to pieces. "I'm sure there is going to be a lot of shit left to do after this last thing dies down, so can I count on your help?" "Max, of coarse you can count on my help, we're all..." Your thumb on her chin stops her short, and you raise her eyes to meet her own. "I'm not asking if you're going to be my ally, I'm asking if you're going to be my girlfriend." Kaleshi blushes, quite the contrast to her brazen facade, but lurking down in there you know there is the little girl who always wanted to wind up with the prince. "I didn't think you were... Uh... The girlfriend type of guy..." "Well when you face down as much death and shit as I have, a guy starts to realize that there is more to this life than mindless heretical sex." "Well I mean... If its what you want..." Kaleshi isn't looking you in the eyes, in fact she appears to be avoiding doing exactly that. So you kiss her. You feel her arms slip around your waist as she leans into it, and you can tell its her way of saying yes. "Not going to be an easy road, I don't think, hope your ready for it." "Hah, I'm the daughter of a god, I'm ready for anything." You give her hand a squeeze as you both stare back out over the battlefield. *** Years later, happily married, you look back on that short event in your life, the event that changed everything. "Tell us again dad!" Your three children all cry, and you hold out a hand to placate them. "I'll tell it again tomorrow night, now its bedtime for the three of you." "Aww!! But Daaaadddd!!" "You heard your father, now go to sleep!" Kaleshi, Nyx, and Lilith all tell the kids. "Little rascals..." You smirk, heading off to your own bed with your three gorgeous daemonettes in tow. "Where do you think they get it from?" "I blame you three." "HAH! As if." ---- >harem end time The "Battle of SKULLFUCKED BIRDS" as the scholars will one day call it, draws to an end. Thankfully, none of your friends did. "I'm so glad you all made it..." You look over the girls standing in front of you, truly thankful. "Well yeah, its not like I was going to die before doing THIS!" Esh reaches out and tries to give your backside a smack, but you are too fast. "No wait Max, what are you... AHHH?!?!?" Esh yells as you give her thick rump a resounding SMACK before spinning her around and setting her back down. "You know this is far from over, though, don't you?" Ailia asks with a smile. "Yeah, I know, still a lot of work to do." Its true. Though you may have won here today, the universe is far from a peaceful place. "We'll need to stick together if we have any chance at uniting everyone for good..." You ponder. "..." Comes the wall of silence from the girls. "So, you're saying..." "Yep! We're all going to pile onto a ship and sail about the stars bringing peace and prosperity in our wake!" "..." "And maybe make some... Heretical lovin?" "..." "Inquisitors on deck, alien sex!" *** A year later, and you cruise about the universe on the massive ancient battleship. Its quite a peaceful life, really, aside from the occasional unification mission... Hah, as if. You're a man stuck with a horde of women who only want one thing most space flights, as most are incredibly boring. "Inquisitor?" One of your Marines asks as he notices you hiding underneath a pipe. "SHHH!! They'll hear you!" "Too late!" You hear Lycheria shout. "Get him!" Senna and Senda cry in unison. "Marines, stand against this foe!" You tell your troops, who look to you, then back to your harem. "Apologies sir, but you are on your own here." "Nooooo!!!!" The girls all start dragging you, you know exactly where they want to take you. "Sheesh, why are you playing hard to get?" "Because we just did it an hour ago! And two hours before that!!! I'm dry, I'm exhausted, I have paperwork to do!!!" "Tough shit, I only came twice." Kaleshi frowns. "...So if I get you all off again, you'll let me actually do some, you know, WORK?!" The girls all look between each other. The Daemonettes taught them how to talk without speaking, and you don't like that. Not one ducking bit. "Agreed." "Than bring on the tentacles..." You summon your inner Slaaneshi prince and tentacles spring forth from your body. Kaleshi and her sisters, Karen, Lycheria, and the Twins all lick their lips excitedly. Esh and Mika look a bit panicked, they always do when you spring these things up, though. Tonya is already masturbating furiously in full BDSM gear. You sigh as you shove wriggling tentacles into every available orifice. "H-hey! Not my... Ah, my bbbbutt?!" Esh howls, muffled against the tentacle in her mouth. "Eh? Oh sorry, got distracted BY ALL THIS PAPERWORK I HAVE THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE BEFORE TOMORROW!" Turning toward your seawaifu, you plead for some assistance. She rolls her eyes. "Ugh, fine!" With that, she turns into her massive self and swallows you all whole. Her tentacles add to your own, and pretty soon the insides of her nether place is full of climaxing women and copious amounts of semen. And such is life for you, not that you mind. You still manage to get work done, and the universe is a more peaceful place than ever. Ah shit, you almost forgot, Eight starts at the Academy tomorrow. You had better get this ship headed in the right direction. You look down at the collapsed bodies of your harem, each of them exhausted. Your tentacles are still moving on their own. "Wait... Max, no!!!!" They all cry. ...You'll get some work done later, tonight, you have no brakes. ---- "So... That was quite the fight..." Frederick sighs, taking a seat next to Helena on her tank. She graciously accepts the bottle of juice from him, before leaning her whole, tired body onto his. "So what do you think happens now?" He asks, gently putting his arm around her. "With my idiot brother in charge? I fear for the Imperium of man." They both chuckle. "Frederick..." "Hmm?" Their lips meet, and Helena pulls the techpriest down with her onto the top of the tank. "Hey uh, don't take this the wrong way, but... I love you." He tells her, eyes locked in her own. Helena smirks, kisses him again, and they tumble down the open hatch and into the tank. *** A year and a half later, you attend their wedding. A smaller affair, with the Emperor himself leading the ceremony. "You ready?" You ask your sister, who despite looking scared, nods. At the end of the long aisle, you hand her to Frederick. "Take good care of her, she's your problem now." "I will, forever." He nods, oblivious to your joke. *** The Blood Ravens stare out over the vast expanse of the field. "Brothers, this is the day we have long waited for." Gabriel Angelos looks proudly across his Marines. They have done it, at long last. They have gifted everything. "I'm not really digging this paint job, dudes." The Emperor pipes up, looking distressed at the red coat on his golden armor. "Ah yes, today the Blood Ravens stand victorious." Gabriel takes a sip out of his new mug, which has the symbol of the Galactic Partridges upon it. Soon, the symbol of the Blood Ravens is on everything and anything. Titans, Terra, Orks, toilet paper. Everything is a gift of the Ravens. The Imperium of the Blood Ravens looks well, going on into the future. They manage to hold everything together by simply gifting themselves anything that appears out of place. Thus, the event of "The Gifting" ushers in an era of peace of length the universe has never seen the likes of. *** About to go to bed, you grimace when you feel something scaly wrap around your leg. "Hora hora? I didn't get mine yet, Max." You sigh as you turn back to Ra'alman, who smirks as her tail continues to wrap you up. "Can we do it without eating me, just for tonight maybe?" "Hmm? What fun is that? But... I suppose, just for tonight." With a powerful rip, she tears your pajamas off with one go. Her snakelike tongue flickers across her lips. Without warning, she suddenly thrusts you into her, causing you to jump in surprise. "Hmm? Was it good? I got it wet just for you~" She whispers as she nibbles your ear. Good? Oh, most certainly yes. Completely different than the other girls, with small tentacles that toy with you once inside. "Oh, what was that just now? Did you cum already? Well, one down and ninety nine to go I suppose." "Ninety... Nine?!" You gasp. Ra'alman's smile grows further. "I'm adding two more times for every time you complain..." *** I take a seat, watching the flames and the dust of the dead battle rising around me. A sight all too familiar. Max was snatched up somewhere, so I guess I don't have to worry too much about him. Just as I flick my lighter, I hear something. With a pause, I wait, but don't hear the sound again. Another flick and I draw in my welcome reprieve. I hear it again, a cough. With a frown, I stand up from my seat atop a dead Chaos Marine and peer around. Another cough, but from where? As I hear it again, I finally figure it out. With my foot, I shove a dead cultist off of something. Or rather, someone. A Krieger lays there, clutching his head. I notice a hole in the helmet and pull it off. I can see a nasty bump, but nothing fatal. "Here, let me get you drink." I tell the guardsman, and reach out to take off his mask. A hand stops me, which I gently brush aside. "Relax, the air is safe here." Despite his protests, I remove the mask. Or rather, HER protests. The girl lays there, her head in my hand, as I pause for a moment. Her face is dirty and tired, but rather pretty. She isn't looking me in the eyes, and her face is red. I reach out and place the water bottle against her soft pink lips, and watch a trickle of water run off of them before she accepts it and starts to drink. Neither of us talk as I help her to her feet, and it appears one of her ankles is sprained as she can't walk on it. Not knowing what else to do, I bend down and carefully pick her up. This causes her to blush even more furiously. Even as I gently place her on a cot with the Krieger medics coming to take care of her, I can't help but have the feeling that we will meet again perhaps, someday. As I turn to go, I feel a small tug on the back of my belt. Turning around, I see the kriger girl sitting up slightly on the cot, her hand on my belt, her eyes averted and her face red. Her other hand is extended out, and clutched in her fingers is a small yellow flower. With a smile, I reach out and accept it. The girl looks back at me, and for a moment I think I see a faint smile grace her shy features before she turns over and the medics cart her away. Leaving me standing, in the battlefield once again, clutching the small flower. I give it a small sniff. Pretty. I shirked out of the awards ceremony that the Imperium had insisted on having. I don't really care for stuff like that. Instead, I look down at the flower I'd preserved by pressing it, which I carry with me now. The ship I'd... Borrowed... Lands gently on Catachan. Though its been a long time, far too long, since I've been here... Somehow, I know exactly where to go. The settlement of my youth, long blown out and overrun by the surrounding jungle. Only the inner field provided enough room to land. None of that bothers me, so long as I find what I'm looking for. My boots crunch over the dried leaves, and I sling the Exitus rifle up a bit. I still remember enough to know trouble could lurk around every trunk. But I find what I'm looking for, rather than a fight. A small plot, with two modest bricks atop the soil. Though cracked and weathered beyond recognition, I know to whom they belong, though not their names. Setting down a small envelope, its corners bent, I stand back up and give the graves a slow salute. Oh. Its raining... Or... Perhaps it isn't? I raise a hand to my eyes, and when I pull my fingers away I notice they are slick and wet. Maybe I'd forgotten how to cry, maybe the Ordo had made me forget. Either way, I don't stop the tears now. I stand there, for a long while, until they slow to a stop. Shit, I had better be getting back before someone realizes I was gone. I wasn't looking forward to this "Academy" Max was talking about, but Esh and Mika were both teaching me things now to try to get me ready. "I think... I found a new home." I tell them, and as I turn away from the graves, somehow, I know they would be happy for me. *** The Emperor laughs as he bounces his son on his knee. The baby, now two, giggles and smiles. Tzeentch is sleeping gently against his arm, and he adjusts her so he can pull her into an embrace. The baby suddenly stops giggling, frowns, and belches. All of the lights in the room explode in a shower of sparks and glass. "We really need to figure out a way to get him to stop doing that..." Tzeentch mumbles. The Emperor laughs, which makes his son laugh along. Both he and Tzeentch know that years from now he will be a beacon of hope and unity for the galaxy. But for now, he's a joyful bouncing two year old with a fascination for keys, which drives the Admech batshit. *** "You going my way, tech-priestess?" "Wha!?" Mika shouts with a start, before whirling around to face you. You can't help but grin at her reaction. "Ah, y-you startled me..." Mika says quietly. The battle is long since over, and night is nearly upon you yet again. Most races have broken camp and are seated around fires or screens, talking and eating joyfully. With one stark difference, not a one is shooting at the others. "S-so, d-do you want to get some food... Or the Emperor probably wants to s-see you maybe..." "That isn't why I came to find you." You say quietly, taking her hand and bringing her around until she's in front of you. "W-well we can go grab some food may..." You kiss her before she can finish, and spin her around until you are pressing her against the tank. "Ah... M-Max what are you...!?" You pull away again, a thin strand of saliva connecting your tongues. "I came to ask you something." "A-ask away?" Mika stutters, her face entirely red. "Be mine, I can't keep doing this without you, I realized that. So I want you to follow me to wherever this crazy journey finally ends." Mika pauses, shuffling her feet nervously. "C-close your eyes..." She stutters. You do, and feel her lips meet your own yet again. "Th-That's my answer..." She smiles, and you smile back, before pulling her into a tight hug. Four years later, you and Mika are both awakened by your son fussing from his crib. "Your turn..." She mumbles in her sleep. With a groan, you pull yourself out of bed and head over to the crib in the other room. "C'mon Tanner, what's wrong?" You pick the infant up, and look down into his crib. Oh, his Admech mobiles is out. You fix it with one of your mechanical arms while bouncing your son to keep him occupied. "Oh, is that why he's crying?" Mika asks, rubbing at her eyes. "Yeah, probably blew a fuse." Mika fixes it in under a minute, and you set your son back down under it, where he quietly watches it spin. "Now, back to bed. I've got a long day tomorrow." "Hey hun?" "Hmm?" "D-do you... Maybe... W-want to make another one?" *** You barge in, rather unceremoniously, into the room where all the Eldar have come to meet to discuss the after-battle whatnot's, you stopped paying attention about the time you just kicked in the door. "Hey, I'mma let you finish your space Elf meeting, but first I need to find Eshwe and get my swag on." Out of the corner of your eye, you see a red-faced Eldar clutching a spear. "Max... You....." "You mad?" The energy blast knocks you out of the building, and you can't help but laugh as you tumble end over end through the grass. "Damn right I'm mad!" Esh glares, standing over you. "Perfect angle, thanks!" With a "yoink!" You slip her panties right down and off. "H-hey! Whats the big deal?!" "Shush up, I need these!" You force them off of her, despite her struggling, and pocket them to give to Slaanesh later. You decide it would be better to not let her know the reasoning... "Wow, you just wax it today?" "Ugh." She steps on your face. "Hey, while I'm down here, mind if I ask you something?" "What is it, stupid idiot dolt of a mon-keigh?!" "Will you be my girlfriend?" "..." "So... Yes?" "Ugh, fine! I guess! Gods know I can't trust you to watch out for yourself! Its not like I wanted this, or anything." She glares, looking away, but helps you to your feet. Before she can react further, you grab her and force a kiss. She struggles, only for a moment, before grabbing you roughly and pulling you tighter to herself. "Idiot." She mumbles. "I don't know how I fell for an idiot like you..." "My charming good looks and swashbuckling charisma." You grin. *** Two years later, you are neck deep in Administratum paperwork, rushing to get it all completed. Your dinner, left for you, sits cold and untouched. "Max!" Esh barges into the room, looking quite ruffled. "Babe?" "I'm pregnant!" She bursts in a panic. "Hoo-kay, well that was certainly..." "Get it out, now!" She points down to your crotch. "Hey now, I mean, its great news and I'm happy and all but..." "Shut your face, we need to keep doing it to complete the baby." Oh now this is just too golden an opportunity to pass up. "Fine but first you have to say something." "Please?" "Not quite. Look me in the eyes, flash me some clevage, and tell me to get over there and fuck you." "W-what?! I'm not doing that you fiend!" "Well, guess I'll just get back to doing this paperwork..." You make a show of picking up the pen and shuffling a few papers around. "UGH! FINE!" Esh wings the pillow she was clutching at your head. "G-get over here..." She blushes as she notices your grin, and you give her the eye that tells her she isn't out of this yet. "Oooo....! Get over here and f-fuck me!" She shouts, stomping her foot. *** I bristle against the cool of the command bridge of the ship, high upon the perch of Max's head. Neither he nor I know what our future holds, where we will go, what there remains to be done. Despite the uncertainty, I feel content. No matter where I end up, Max will be there, and that is enough. I feel him tighten me down on his head. "Gentlemen, to the future." He grins, before the ship enters the warp.
Summary:
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