Editing A Song of Ice and Fire (section)

===House Targaryen===

''"Fire and Blood"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The former dragon-kings and rulers of Westeros, [[Eldar|fair-haired purple-eyed beautiful people]] who descended from the [[Dark Age of Technology|ancient technologically-advanced superpower]] of [[Roman Empire|Valyria]], which collapsed because of [[Fall of the Eldar|their colossal hubris]]. After the anarchic [[Age of Strife|Century of Blood]], the Targaryen patriarch Aegon I, instead of reconquering the lost cause of Essos and of Valyria's former empire, looked towards the rather primitive continent of Westeros, and its squabbling Seven Kingdoms, deciding [[Great Crusade|to establish his own Imperial dynasty and unify the Realm]]. Aegon I is essentially the Low Fantasy version of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_the_Conqueror William the Conqueror] and/or the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]], with a little dash of [[/d/|incest]].

[[Rules Lawyer|Thanks to a loophole]], the Targaryens were immune to the moral objections relating to incest. Common sense (and common decency) took back seat to a time-honoured policy of [[/d/|catastrophic inbreeding]], which made a number of problems, the most obvious of which was that a whole bunch of them were fucking crazy. Aegon I married his older and younger sisters and had several kids with each, which would be the start of another Targaryen tradition: the occasional succession crisis. Because GRRM can't write a book without going off on a tangent (and because the Targaryens were running things for a good chunk of the setting's history), the Targaryens and their almost 300-year long legacy is full of rebellions and wars ripped from English History and in turn mined by HBO. Fun interregnums include the Dance of the Dragons, where the Targaryens used the last of their dragons in a brutal civil war against each other (now a TV show), and the Blackfyre Rebellions, wherein the fat fuck Aegon IV (who had Henry VII's opposite problems: he fucked everyone and had many heirs) legitimized all his bastards and even gifted one of them the dynasty's greatest treasure: the Blackfyre sword. Actually, considering how ''many'' of these rebellions were caused by half-Targaryen bastards, [[/d/|maybe they had a point?]]

Eventually, the Targaryens were banished to Essos after yet another civil war. This one was caused when Aerys II, a crazy paranoid king that savagely executed many different people, made the wrong move of executing Rickard and Brandon Stark (Ned's dad and brother); the two men were in King's Landing because Aerys' son, Rhaegar, the '''non''-crazy one, eloped with/abducted Robert Baratheon's fiancee, who happened to be their sister. Since he was already married and she was engaged, they left together in secret, which caused Robert the Cuck to go wild. Joining with Eddard, the new Lord of the North, and their teacher/foster-dad Jon Arryn, the three Kingdoms rebelled and Robert warhammered Rhaegar because STR > DEX. 

The survivors were smuggled out/hidden from Robert, with Viserys and his then-pregnant mother first hiding on their ancestral home of Dragonstone before fucking off to Essos when the war was truly lost; Rhaegar's ''first'' son and daughter were killed and his wife raped by the Lannisters' bannermen, though Rhaegar's best friend [[Gay|who loved him very, very, very much]] claims to have helped sneak the son out of Westeros and gone into hiding with him in Essos; finally, Rhaegar and Lyanna's son, Jon/Aegon, was adopted by Ned, who was made to realize that the entire civil war was a misunderstanding and that his whoremongering drunk of a foster brother would've probably been a terrible brother-in-law anyway. [[Grimdark]]. Basically, the entire British royal family, but with more incest, and a lot of dragons. Still, they occasionally did have genuinely good people like Aegon V (aka Egg), Jaeherys I the Conciliator, his wife Good Queen Alysanne and complete badasses like Brynden Bloodraven and Baelor Breakspear (too bad Bloodraven is hooked up to Old God wi-fi permanently and Breakspear died before he could become king). 
Pseudo-Romans and/or the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Normandy House of Normandy].

* Aerys II, ''The Mad King'': [[Kharn|A pretty fun guy to be around]]. Had a psychotic fascination for fire, which extended to being a psychotic fascination for burning traitors, a category of people that eventually grew to include anybody he disliked for any reason, anyone who disagreed with him, and a few people who were unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire. [[Goge Vandire|Teamkilled by his bodyguard Jaime for planning to burn the city down with everyone inside it, and even refused to accept his death until he actually died]].
* Daenerys Targaryen, ''Stormborn'': She was sold by her brother to a barbarian leader [[Genghis motherfucking Khan|Khal (warlord) Drogo]] in exchange for his pledge to use his Khalassar (Warband/tribe) to conquer Westeros. She found her self esteem as his wife, then her husband killed her idiot brother Viserys and promised to conquer the world for Daenerys, making her a full-fledged badass barbarian war queen. Unfortunately, her husband died when [[Derp|Daenerys trusted one of the slaves whose town Drogo had pillaged and burnt to heal an infected wound of his]] and his horde fell apart (though the book is somewhat ambiguous as to whether the slave did kill Drogo). Then she hatched three dragons (completely by accident when she tried to commit suicide) bringing them back from extinction, and now everyone wants to marry her because she is now one of the most powerful people around due to said dragons and is good-looking (in the books this is by the age-of-consent in Westeros standards, where girls are women when they start getting their periods and boys are men at age 13). [[Gets shit done]] except the entire fifth book, in which she mopes around about wanting to marry an annoying, flamboyant mercenary instead of saving herself for a political marriage. After banging the flamboyant mercenary, she later marries a Meereenese noble who guarantees he can get her some peace (more likely [[Just As Planned|just as he planned]]). 
**She also does nothing while insurgents kill her men, a horde of plagued refugees spread disease to her city and an enemy army besieges her walls, all for realistically political reasons because the world is a horrible place. Learns how to train her dragons. In the books, she's just encountered another Khalassar after being hauled away from Meereen by Drogo. In the TV series, she takes over all the Dothraki and adds them to her army, then heads for Westeros to invade the place with her army of elite hoplites, massive horde of Dothraki, and her dragons. By the time she gets to King's Landing she's taken significant losses, including two of her dragons, and is fucking her nephew (Jon Snow). Officially went Mad Queen as of S8E5, wherein she burned most of King's Landing after the city attempted to surrender and has decided to "liberate" everyone on the planet, whether they want it or not. Jon kills her in the series finale so that she won't go around burninating the rest of the world.
* The dragons: The three dragons that Daenerys hatched. They're wyverns that breathe fire, [[Awesome|have blood hot enough to melt steel]], and [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|cook their meat before eating it]]. Naturally, some of the coolest things in the story.
** Drogon; named for her late husband, Khal Drogo. Black and red, the biggest and [[Gork|most aggressive dragon]]. Starts eating people and then escapes, leading to the other two getting imprisoned. Interrupts a gladiator tournament, killing a lot of people before being whipped by Daenerys into flying her to a Khalassar that broke off from her husband's after his death. In the show, he's the last dragon standing after Viserion bites it north of the Wall and his undead body is put down at Winterfell and Rhaegal gets shot down over Dragonstone. Takes Dany's body, destroys the Iron Throne and fucks off to who knows where after Dany is killed.
** Rhaegal; named for the first of her dead brothers, Rhaegar. Green and gold, the [[Mork|cunning one]] and the loudest (with a roar "...that would have sent a hundred lions fleeing,"). Kills Quentyn Martell when the latter is trying to goad Viserion (see below). After breaking out of jail with Viserion they go "all your base are belong to us" on Meereen, killing people and taking over the pyramid of a loyal family as his lair. Last seen playing "sack the town" with Viserion in the books. Dead in the show thanks to Euron Greyjoy and some Diabolus ex Machina bullshit. 
** Viserion; named for her other brother Viserys. White and gold and the [[Vulkan|friendliest]] (as dragons go, he still eats people). Dug a cave for himself in his jail then moved into another pyramid after his and his brother's great escape. Gets killed by the [[Vampire Counts|Night's King in the show via a magic spear, then his corpse is reanimated to be the Night King's zombie dragon steed]] and blasts a hole in the famous Wall, allowing the armies of snow elves and zombies to start flooding Westeros. Now perma-dead thanks to the Night King biting it. 
* Viserys Targaryen, ''The Beggar King'': Daenerys' physically abusive older brother. Best known for being a bully with incestuous lust for her and an arrogant and incompetent fuck with a massive sense of entitlement. He eventually got himself killed for being an all-around jerk and whiny idiot, which culminated in him threatening his sister and unborn nephew with a sword while drunk in a sacred Dothraki place where weapons and bloodshed are forbidden on pain of death (execution is done by bloodless death - having a scarf wrapped tight around the neck and being drowned in a barrel). Daenerys' husband [[awesome|poured molten gold over his head and called it his promised crown, also ensuring his death didn't technically shed any blood in their sacred place]].
* Aegon Targaryen, ''Aegon VI'': Daenerys' nephew, the son of her brother Rhaegar. Been hiding in Essos for the entire length of the series, but recently raised an army of Westerosi exiles and threw them all a massive Welcome Home party with rape and pillage. Wants to marry his aunt because she has dragons, ''and might not actually be a member of House Targaryen'' if you believe some fans. He can actually count past 6, can multiply numbers, can read different language and has a minor understanding of geometry, thus cementing him as one of the most educated people in this overwrought series. Can also do his own laundry.
**Like Dany, he has his own band of misfits following him around. While Dany has the Dothraki and the Unsullied, Aegon has '''the Golden Company''', a mercenary company of ten thousand soldiers descended from the forces loyal to the Blackfyre bastards. The Golden Company has a long and storied history of invading Westeros and failing, which has led to the theories that Aegon is really a Blackfyre. Because of their long history and descent from actual nobles, the Golden Company is nothing like the mercenary rabbles common in the rest of the series, even having dedicated knight, archer, and War Elephant divisions. 
* Brynden Rivers ''Bloodraven'': A Targaryen bastard who came to prominence about a hundred years before the series as a sort of sorcerer, he later became known as the "Three-Eyed Raven/Crow" after encountering the Children of the Forest, and uses his powers to help avert the Long Night and train Bran. He's described as having long, white hair, missing an eye, is bound to a tree, knows all and sees all, associated heavily with ravens and omens... [[Vikings|yeah, he's very much Odin, come to think of it. Just a lot more of an asshole than the Warrior King of legend.]]
**In his prime, he was pretty much just Loki. The spymaster ''and'' Hand of the King during the Blackfyre Rebellions (a rebellion of all Aegon IV's many bastards, [[Troll|whom he legitimized on his deathbed because that's how he rolled]]), he was one of the few to remain loyal. He was a sorceror and had a spy network so thorough, it was a commmon-joke that the [[Magnus the Red|one-eyed]] sorcerer had "[[Thousand Sons|a thousand eyes]], and [[Tzeentch|one]]" He had his own elite unit of archers that solved the first rebellion by sticking the claimant, his heir, and finally his twin full of arrows.  
**Exiled to the Night's Watch for assassinating a Blackfyre after promising him safe passage, a running theme in ASOIAF. 
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